#I love travel shows and variety so it’s a perfect blend

[dalkyeom]

JOSHUA Insta story: The desert photos 🏜️🌵

was hoping he’d drop the photos he and Hoshi took when they were abandoned in the desert

[marumaruowl]

For the short fic request, could you write an Ar/genturine mutual stuffing fic, maybe with them feeding each other their favourite foods? I'm not really sure what Av/enturine's favourite food is, but I do know Ar/genti likes eating baguettes.

Sorry this took a while, but I just LOVED this so much and I had to write something more than just a little paragraph for this. Ohmygosh. I went with a headcanon of Av/enturine liking spicy food and also soup.

Arge/nti x Ave/nturine mutual stuffing/feeding below!

When Aventurine had accepted the Knight of Beauty's invitation to dine with him aboard his starship, he hadn't anticipated the practical feast that spread before him at the table now. It was elegantly decorated with small candlesticks and scattered rose petals. And a variety of delectable dishes were spaced all around, including a juicy, sauced steak, a bowl of fruits, a basket of baguettes, and a pot full of veggie noodle soup. For a moment, he could only glance around in awe.

Naturally, he'd attended fancy business banquets before, but this...it felt more intimate, warm, and inviting. For a second, he found himself wondering if this was supposed to be a date...but he didn't mind if it was.

Argenti was practically radiating joy, genuinely glad that he'd accepted, and of course, rambling on about how beautiful he looked today, how glorious it was to have him partake in these wonderful foods with him. It was always a little bit embarrassing...because unlike the petty praises and flattery Aventurine always put out, he could tell that these words...he actually believed them.

Nevertheless, he was genuine enough when he expressed how glad he was to join him, and how delicious everything looked. Argenti went on to extol each and every dish, and to encourage him to enjoy them to his heart's content.

It was...comfortable. Unlike at his typical business dinners, Aventurine felt secure in the Knight's presence, knowing that he wasn't under scrutiny. When he said he could have as much as he wished...he truly did mean that.

The gambler smiled and filled his plate with a little bit of everything, while Argenti took two entire baguettes from the basket, expertly slicing them in half and filling them with butter and jam. The two easily slipped into conversation, recounting their experiences from across the galaxy. There were so many stories they both had—encounters on distant worlds during the Knight's travels, and dangerous scrapes during tense IPC negotiations. Aventurine couldn't help becoming enraptured by Argenti's poetic storytelling, and before he'd even noticed, he'd cleaned his plate.

“Please, feel free to partake in as much of this bounty as you wish, honored guest,” Argenti urged, even as he served himself a large portion of the steak. “Our wonderful banquet ought to be savored to the utmost.”

And with those words, Aventurine almost felt obliged to have a little more. Under normal circumstances, he'd feel a bit greedy, self-conscious of the eyes on him as he moved to take more than his share. But to this man, consuming more food seemed to be the ultimate compliment.

Uttering a gracious platitude, he decided to try a full bowl of that soup It really was delicious. Soft noodles, blends of vegetables and spice, perfectly warm broth...unlike many of the other soups he'd lightly sipped at during dinners, it was anything but bland. The hot bursts of flavor filled his mouth, and his face softly flushed with pleasure as he made his way through the bowl. So perfect...had Argenti prepared it himself? And how could he have possibly known he'd enjoy such a thing?

But when Aventurine finally looked up, across the table at the flawless knight who'd rescued him, he noticed something. Argenti casually leaned back in his chair...and delicately untied the strings of his bodice, allowing a sigh of release to puff out of his lips. He looked...full. The cinching at his waist had obviously become too tight after eating so much...yet he showed no sign of being finished. He'd already removed his heavy gauntlets, leaving strong, soft hands to stroke over his belly...and reach for an apple from the fruit bowl. Yet the way he ate never seemed greedy or desperate...it was in reverence, much like the strings of admiration that issued so readily from his mouth.

Just watching him, Aventurine began to absorb a bit of that reverence himself. He immersed himself in the sensations of the delicious soup on his taste buds and the warmth of it settling inside his stomach. He hadn't really allowed himself to indulge in something like this since the first day he'd received a square meal at the IPC.

Suddenly, the bowl was empty, and he stifled a burp behind one hand. “I must say, this dish is excellent,” he spoke, attempting his own approving declaration. “I've never tasted anything so enchanting before. I'm so grateful to be here, to experience it.”

He'd meant it in the sense of “thank you for inviting me”...but Argenti pulled himself up in his seat and smiled with the radiance of seven suns. “Oh, and I am also filled with gladness that your brilliance lives on, to be here with me today.” Overcome with emotion, his arms spread open. “Come here, if you would, dear ambassador.”

It was ridiculous. But the sweet knight's glow was drawing him close, an aura of safety and love. And that was how Aventurine found himself moving, sliding another chair right up, inches away from his armored thigh. And how Argenti had taken the remainder of the soup pot, dipped a large spoon into it, and brought it delicately to Aventurine's lips. Gentle feeding...the ultimate offering of praise.

After two mouthfuls, Aventurine felt the need to give back in some way. And why not give back in equal measure? He slid the bread basket to his side—two baguettes remained—and broke off a chunk. Then, after dipping it briefly in melted butter, he held it to Argenti's mouth in return. He was all too eager to accept, cheeks once again aglow as he munched through the moistened bread.

Somehow, they'd become caught up in the pure indulgence and the intimate care of feeding each other. A spoonful of soup...another buttery piece of baguette...back and forth, bite for bite. The first baguette disappeared, and Aventurine noticed the softened little lump of Argenti's belly pushing out and rounding with fullness.

His body shuddered a little as Argenti's ungloved hands softly reached out, undoing the button of his vest...and caressing around his own little belly. For the first time, he really noticed how tight and slightly achy it felt, and glancing down, he could see it bulging into a stuffed, round bump as well. But it was too incredible...both the soup and this encounter. He didn't want to stop.

A bite, a sip, a munch, a slurp... Aventurine felt the warm, soothing caresses of Argenti's hands over his taut, rounding tummy, gently easing in each decadent spoonful. In turn, Argenti's own belly subtly puffed out further, pulling his undershirt tight over the roundness. So good...it was just so good.

Then, at last, after what seemed like a long dream, the bread and soup was entirely consumed. Both reclined further back in their chairs to give their overstuffed bellies more room, both softly flushing with contentment and just a bit of embarrassment. Except for a few grapes and one small piece of discarded steak, the entire feast had been packed away into the two of them, round tummies full to the brim.

Aventurine panted, unused to the weight inside him. “Are dinners--hic!--always like this with you?”

A lopsided grin graced Argenti's perfect face, and he rubbed circles into his own heavy stomach. “Not usually. But if they were, I would most certainly not be opposed.”

Aventurine let out a breathy chuckle, holding his aching belly steady. “Well...then I shall definitely have to come again sometime.”

[thetoxicgamer]

Flirting with the impossible: Machine’s gearing up for a new decade in esports

Alex "Machine" Richardson seized his esports moment in 2014 and hasn't looked back since. The versatile broadcaster is best recognised for his work at the largest CS:GO tournaments, but he has also covered many other esports crown jewels, such as the League of Legends European Championship and Dota 2's The International. He shows no signs of stopping, looking to reinvent his approach for the brave new world ahead of us and a new generation of Counter-Strike, starting with the 17th season of the ESL Pro League and working toward the much-anticipated sequel of the game. So what’s next for Machine? The answer becomes easier to find once you realize how he took the road less traveled on his way to where he is today, eventually finding a home in CS. Esports was very different a decade ago, but it already served as the proving ground for many of the personalities we know and love today. For Machine, the journey began with his own competitive outings, playing Call of Duty Promod, making a team, and going to LAN to meet strangers from the internet. “And that translated into ‘Oh my God, there’s commentary here – and oh, I’m never going to play on this stage; maybe I could be on the stage commentating,” he reminisced with a smile. Volunteer work and then something more permanent followed with ESL, just around the time when fully maxed-out arenas came into the picture. It’s a relationship that has persisted ever since. Unlike many others, who drilled deep down into a singular niche, Machine went on to explore a wide variety of games and roles over his time in esports. As ESL thrust him into various broadcasts from the console version of Call of Duty to Splinter Cell and mobile titles, he developed a flexible skillset by necessity—and it’s no surprise he sees his ability to admit when he doesn’t know something as one of his greatest strengths to this day. Still, Counter-Strike is his home, his baby, a commentator’s dream with the perfect blend of predictability and chaos, an ebb and flow that’s so unlike the potential half-hour wait for that decisive teamfight in MOBAs. His role models also derived from people in the space rather than the traditional broadcasting media. “I was always anti-sport because sport was anti-me,” he said, adding that it’s a different form of commentary, much more focused on play-by-play than what’s become the norm in esports. The long-defunct Quad V, a pioneering agency that featured the biggest commentators of the time. Paul “Redeye” Chaloner of WCG fame, Stuart “Tosspot” Saw, one of the memorable voices from the first CS:GO Major, Leigh “Deman” Smith of League fame, and Joe Miller, now the head of talent at ESL, served as his lodestar in becoming a real, established broadcaster. There was a lot to learn from everyone. There’s the innovative and almost entrepreneurial spirit of the League talent, moving ideas from storyboard to reality in just a week. Of the two distinctly different Petri dishes of Valve, the top-heavy nature of Dota was the one that brought the unique feeling of heartbreak at TI. “I have quite the capacity for empathy; doing the loser interviews, I ended up at the end of the event like I’d lost The International 15 times. It was so hard trying not to cry on camera. I’m so grateful I got to see that first-hand, to be a part of that,” Machine said. Esports commentary has changed a lot across the years as the games and the plays get more elaborate. This is especially true in Counter-Strike, with a myriad of possibilities that could all come crumbling down at a click of a Deagle. In some ways, it’s a collaborative puzzle-solving exercise for the casting community, with everyone having their own ideas. To Machine, it feels like a gift, something he wants to keep doing this year: pushing the boundaries and experimenting, to achieve the coveted flow state more often. “The best commentators are the ones that have that finger of the pulse of what is possible and being able to flirt with the impossible or the round,” he said. The show had to go on during the trying times of the pandemic, too, and it offered a uniquely intensive casting boot camp—and a chance to explore and expand his toolkit. What do you do when the crowds are gone but the stakes are high? His solution was to further incorporate whispers. Why shout at a massive play when you’re in an empty office, with no crowd behind you? New approaches and gambles followed. Those that landed, he brought back to the stadiums. The rest went into the discard pile. The intensity of it all was great but perhaps also a source of brain rot, too. There’s a reason why he wants to return to the fundamentals in 2023. At this point, fellow commentators Vince Hill and Adam “Dinko” Hawthorn come to his mind, their straightforward approaches serving as a quick contrast with the weird and flamboyant side he’s explored over the last few years. A different kind of intensity followed as LAN events returned and the CS:GO space saw some of its biggest events come to life. The 2022 IEM Rio Major offered an unprecedented $2 million prize pool and an environment unlike any other. The first Major in South America and the deep run of FURIA made it a barbaric atmosphere, in the best way. That said, Machine would have appreciated a bit of a balance. “I’m all for being tribal and foaming at the mouth for your boys, but be respectful of your opponent,” he said. Later, he contrasted and compared the Brazilian crowd with the classics in Poland and Germany: “As a commentator, from my ivory tower, as someone who’s trying to deliver on top of their product—the game, the stage, the stream, the crowd, the plays—I can appreciate when all of the layers are on their best form.” The richness of the storylines was also reflected in the Game and Glory documentary ESL produced concurrently with the IEM Rio Major. It was meant to serve as a spotlight on specific stories and characters, with a rapid four-week turnaround. Ultimately, despite the four or five roaming crews, there was no room to condense everything captured into the final product. Perhaps there’s more to come down the line; it remains to be seen. In Machine’s mind, this is the biggest opportunity for change. “There’s such a wealth of incredible human stories,” he says, even understanding that many of the youngest talent lack lived experience and are immediately tossed into the cauldron of competition. Changes and experimentation are a big part of what’s going to go on with the Pro League’s new season. From a casting perspective, much is going to be a surprise—but the changes in pairings, timings, and pacing will help the creative juices flow. It’s all about getting out of your comfort zone, beyond the subconscious expectations established over the years of casting with his current partner in crime, Chad “SPUNJ” Burchill. “Suddenly, being thrown in with , who’s one of the color commentators I idolize the most, and it just doesn’t necessarily-immediately-naturally gel. Established duos allow you to work out your game plan for tackling the puzzle that is a best-of-three, but I like the idea of mixing it up,” Machine said. Feedback to the new-look Pro League has been near-unanimously positive, with fans thinking back to the cs_summit events of old. A more laid-back vibe, less buttoned-up casting, more personalities and personality to enjoy. Machine felt right at home in this environment as well, adding his trademark flair to the proceedings. Not that the praise will get to his head. Some of the best advice he’s got early in his career is to ignore the hyper-positive and hyper-negative feedback alike. Perhaps surprisingly for someone whose career is all about talking, he can’t stand the sound of his own voice—and therefore he rarely goes back to review his work. The grand final of the Antwerp CS:GO Major was, of course, an exception to this. “Sounded good, sounded good. Kind of. Hey, I kind of hated it, but it sounded okay,” he said. Machine still feels like he’s living the dream, even after all these years—but not everything’s been rosy about the esports lifestyle. The freelance mindset of “How can I say no to this email asking me to do this?” led him to the verge of burnout after the pandemic; the dream job started to feel like a job. Introspection, mindfulness, and reading offered a way back from the brink, with meaningful personal and professional goals. He’s now part of a calmer ecosystem, on the easier side of the big breakthroughs, having earned his salt early. Looking ahead to the next 10 years of esports, his optimism is unbroken—especially about his baby. With CS2 right around the corner, we’re all on the cusp of a brave new world. “It’s going to be a very interesting ride. I will tell you one thing, though: I think Counter-Strike is definitely still going to be at the top of the mountain,” he said. Read the full article

[cellard0ors]

Tricks & Treats...but really just treats

Figured tonight would be a nice night to give out some treats!

So here's a highlight of some Rhink content I enjoy!

Fic recs

Highest Bidder by @apparentlynotreallyfinnish One of the first Rhink fics I ever read, but NOT the last one I've read by this author, I completely recommend ANYTHING by them. This story is a revolving POV story wherein a young Link puts himself up for sexual services because he needs money and an older Rhett takes interest. Their interactions are the perfect blend of sweet and saucy!

One Man Band by @lallyloo I was looking for Rhink fic when I first started getting into the idea and this popped up from other rec lists. An AU in which Rhett is a traveling musician and Link owns a bar. The writing is crisp and made me enjoy things I'm normally not a fan of (piercing, tatts, a sort of friends-with-benefits dynamic) showing how strong Lally is as a writer. Everything they do is gold. I'm rec'ing this story just because it's the first I saved, but I could rec many many others. All *chef's kiss*

Safety Valve by isra - Honestly, I don't know if this writer has a Tumblr. I found this story again via rec lists and I can tell you right now, my story wouldn't exist without this one. The way they write Link's pain and internal struggle with his sexuality and attraction to Rhett is very much how I approached when I decided to write them. It felt so authentic and genuine and it truly inspired me. Hands down a fave.

Don't Blame Me by @rhettjmc Another spin on the selling sexual favors, but now with a young Rhett and older Link. So sexy and the angst is just fantastically delicious. Another writer with a breadth of great work - but, first read, first rec'd.

It Was Always You by @malienessan So, I'm legit behind on this, which is BS on my part but listen, LISTEN. I have to carve out time to pay it the attention it deserves because it's written from Link's POV and he's young and in love with Rhett and it is some heart wrenching beautiful writing. I can rec it without worry that it'll disappoint, because it's just that good. Read.

Overall Rhink fics/blogs/content

@peachworthy posts the most amazing content and is a fantastic person. If you're not following, you should! Writes fantastic work, records gorgeous audio, clips content others aren't blessed to have access to - I mean, the name fits - she's a peach. Honestly a forever follow for me.

@link-sans-specs creates/captures some jaw droppingly beautiful Link pics. Like my icon for example! *Waggles eyebrows* Also another low key cool person all around.

@likestrawberrywhine Not only a fantastic writer (one of the best in the fandom tbh) but someone not afraid to voice their opinion when it comes to GMM no matter what. Sometimes I disagree with their take (I like Stevie tbh) but I can respect it, and them, and it's refreshing to see someone just put it all out there. The posts/tags alone on GME wete entertaining - I promise you, you will never be bored when it comes to this blog.

Forever Follows

@poiregourmande - followed when I was super into Shyan, but following forever because they're sweet and post awesome Watcher content!

@cheeziswin - one of the best people ever. Hands down. Meet through GF and she's now in World of Warcraft, which I also enjoy. Like one of my rec'd blogs above - never afraid to share her opinion whether you agree or not. Strong, bold, great artist and general Tumblr blogger.

@cirilee - A sweetheart who makes some of the most beautiful art you will ever see. Has posted a variety of different content and it's always interesting and fantastic. Absolute love.

[alj4890]

All Through The Night

A Choices: The Royal Romance Dark AU fanfiction. 

A/N Other than my few Bloodbound shorts, I’ve never written anything with supernatural overtones before. After receiving requests to see Liam and Riley’s story if he was a vampire, this storyline was born. Since it is set in one of my favorite books from Pixelberry, I had to include as many of the main and supporting characters as I could. The following chapters will explain more where they and what our main characters are. Not going to lie, I am very anxious to step out of my comfort zone for this, but I’m also super excited to see how it goes. Along with The Royal Romance, I will be referencing and altering both The Crown and The Flame and The Royal Masquerade.

@gkittylove99​​ @krsnlove​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @yourmajesty09​ @mom2000aggie​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​ @twinkleallnight​ @lodberg​ @twinkleallnight​ @amandablink​ @neotericthemis​  @mm2305​ @sfb123​ @iufilms​​ ​ ​

Masterlist

Prologue

Once upon a time...

"Father!" Zenobia rushed down the stairwell. "Kenna is at the gates!"

King Luthor's frown deepened as he studied the places his troops had been destroyed. His hope to unite the five kingdoms and wipe off the abomination was for naught.

Kenna would not stop until he and his surviving offspring's heads were on pikes.

...until their blood filled the crystal goblets of the Dark Queen.

"What do we do?" His son, Diavolos, asked.

Luthor knew it was only himself Kenna wanted. After he had killed her mother, hoping to stop the monsters once and for all, Kenna would have her revenge.

If only he had known that she was a vampire...just like her mother.

"Listen carefully." His voice trembled at this possibly being the last time he was able to speak to his son and daughter. "A Nevarkis must always be ready to fight the creatures that prey on the weak and vulnerable."

"But..." Zenobia sniffed. "How? How can we possibly kill the unkillable?"

"She can be killed just like her mother before her." Luthor snapped. "Sunlight. A dagger to the heart. Cutting the head off." His features hardened with resolve. "Know that those are our true allies. Continue your training with daggers. Never stop being vigilant. Educate your children. And remember: where there's one vampire, many more lie in wait in the shadows."

Diavolos stepped forward and gripped his father's shoulder. "We will fight for you."

"No." Luthor corrected. "Fight for our people. The innocent. Fight for a chance to live without fear of monsters."

He cleared his throat. "If I should die--"

"Don't say that!" Zenobia screeched. "We'll be--"

"Kenna is coming for me." Luthor interrupted. "I know I must face the consequences of my actions."

"But--" Divalos lowered his head. "What are we to do?"

"Kill her." Luthor ordered. "Let your emotion be your strength." He took their hands. "And remember that a vampire is nature's evil incarnate. They will do whatever they want and kill anyone who they think is in their way." His voice turned to pleading. "Kill Kenna before she has a chance to kill you."

Zenobia nodded in a jerky manner. Diavolos swallowed with tears in his eyes.

"Good. Now prepare yourselves." Luthor pulled his sword from its sheath. "The devil herself is here."

*****************

Two years later...

Kenna cuddled her infant son, humming a lullaby.

Dom came in, a soft smile gracing his lips at the sight of his family.

"How are we this evening?" He asked, placing a kiss first on her lips then one on his son's forehead.

"A little fussy." Kenna explained. "But otherwise perfect."

"Good." Dom stretched then went to stoke the fire. "I will be going out later tonight."

Kenna's head jerked up. "Why? Are there more rumors?"

He nodded, a determined frown formed on his lips. "The Nevarkis brats refuse to let us live in peace." He moved to stand before the window that looked out toward the kingdom he had once lived in.

High in the mountains, the couple and those like them had found sanctuary. They built a kingdom, one of darkness and shadow that allowed them to live freely. He and Kenna were crowned the rulers, chosen by their people...those that were cursed as monsters.

"Si and I will be standing guard." He explained. "I will not risk you or our child."

"Dom..." Kenna pulled him close, capturing his lips in a long tender kiss. "This must end. I was foolish to let my need for revenge take over." Tears sparkled in her eyes. "Luthor might have left us alone if I had given him a chance."

Dom's face contorted into furious hatred. "A Nevarkis can never be trusted!" He gripped her waist, hands heating as he lost his temper. "He would have plunged a dagger into your heart the first chance he had."

"Dom." She said softly when he singed her clothes.

He wrenched his hands from her with a grimace. "I didn't burn you, did I?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine." She tried to lighten the mood. "Just a little overheated."

He took deep breaths to get himself under control. "Stay here where it is safe." His eyes searched hers. "Have you fed recently?"

"No, but I should be fine until you return." Kenna lifted a bottle with blood for their son. "I can call on one of the servants to help me if I need to."

"Promise me you won't go outside." He pleaded.

"Only if you promise to come back to me." She responded.

His lips quirked in that cocky smile she has always adored.

"Always, my queen." He kissed her once more, then slipped out the door to search out their enemies.

******************

Present Day New York...

"Cordonia...land of both beauty and mystery." Riley wrinkled her nose. "Boring."

"No, it isn't." Hana argued. "I think that is the perfect beginning."

"Look at the comments from our last video." Riley swiveled her laptop so her friend could see. "People love our walkthroughs and all but hate my narration."

"Well..." Hana's brow furrowed. "Maybe we should try to add more to it than just narration." She pulled out some sketches. "We could add some animation of the history before showing our footage of the country."

"That might work." Riley mumbled, tapping her pen against her notebook.

The two set to work planning their next project.

After years of trying, they had finally achieved their dream of traveling for a living. The two college friends had taken every class they could on how to make their hopes into a reality. With Riley's love of history and business and Hana's talent with art and fashion, the pair had created a successful travel channel that showcased rarely visited countries and cities around the world.

Hana took care of all the shopping and dining found at their chosen destinations. Her "day trips" were hailed as must see for anyone planning a vacation. Riley took over for what could be found at night. Myths and legends blended in with what could be discovered once the sun set. A place's nightlife was thoroughly researched and reached a wide variety of their audience, causing many to plan a vacation just on her recommendations alone.

"Did your mom suggest where we should go first?" Riley asked, after skimming the same few articles about the elusive country.

"Not really." Hana hedged.

Riley glanced up. "Is she giving you a hard time again?"

"Yes." Hana slumped in her chair. "She told me to call when I was done playing tour guide."

"Geez." Riley grumbled. "Does she not realize that we have created a legit business?"

"Ladies shouldn't be involved in anything that does not pertain to their husband and family." Hana quoted. "I was supposed to have my debut to Cordonian society last year." Angry tears filled her eyes. "She still hasn't forgiven me for missing out on the Masquerade Ball."

Riley wrapped her in a comforting hug. "I'm sorry."

Hana patted her back. "Don't be. I finally feel like I can accomplish anything."

"That's because you can." Riley sat back with a grin. "Especially with planning out what we should focus on first."

Hana giggled as she went to search out some of her old books she had inherited from her grandparents. "These might help you with your part."

Riley's eyebrows lifted over the titles. "The Crown, the Flame, and The Night Queen."

"That is the earliest recorded story of vampires and monsters in Cordonia." Hana explained. "Queen Kenna Rhys and King Luthor Nevarkis both fought over uniting the kingdoms that make up Cordonia." She shook her head in disbelief. "There is a legend that Queen Kenna was a vampire that married a man who could transform into a dragon."

"For real?" Riley eagerly opened the book. "What happened?"

"Luthor died." Hana reached for another history book. "Some say it was a sword fight while others say she ripped his throat out with her fangs."

"Whoa. Either way, she sounds pretty epic."

"His son got revenge though." Hana flipped to another chapter. "He sneaked in one day and supposedly dragged Kenna into the sunlight. Before her husband could save her, she burned to ash."

"Brutal." Riley shivered. "What did the dragon do?"

Hana shrugged. "Supposedly he left with their child to protect him." She pointed at some drawings rendered from the Dark Ages. "Kenna's son came back to extract revenge. He eliminated one entire side of the Nevarkis family tree."

"And let me guess," Riley picked up another book. "The remaining Nevarkis's struck back?"

"It's supposedly been a feud for centuries between the Nevarkis and the Rhys' families." Hana pulled up an image on her phone. "Though one is currently ruling Cordonia."

Riley studied the image. "Queen Olivia Nevarkis. Looks like the Rhys lost the throne."

Hana shrugged. "There's a myth that they still rule Cordonia from the shadows."

"Mythical royal vampires, huh?" Riley laughed at the thought. "I hope I bump into one just so I can figure out who's really in charge."

Hana giggled at the thought. "You would be the only person to ask a logical, government question instead of the usual, whoa you're a real live vampire!"

Riley threw a pillow at her. "Hey! I can be calm and collected when faced with the unknown."

Hana threw the pillow back. "Tell that to the supposed haunted house we visited on our last trip." She broke out into laughter with Riley's defense that squeaking doors were the true villains. "On that note, I'm going to start packing. Our flight leaves first thing in the morning."

"I'll be ready." Riley promised.

Once alone, she flipped to a more current timeline of the supposed Dark Kingdom.

King Constantine Rhys the Third rules over what is his rightful kingdom. Rumors swirl that he is simply biding his time until he can eliminate the usurper, Queen Olivia Nevarkis, First of Her Name. The people know that one day, a Rhys will sit upon the throne, uniting the Dark Kingdom and Cordonia once and for all.

****************

Cordonia's Royal Palace, 2 a.m.

"Heeeerah! Olivia threw her daggers as hard as she could while doing a roundhouse kick.

The blades struck into the chest, head, and groin of the makeshift dummy.

She brushed the few strands of red hair that had escaped her hair clip out of her eyes. With a great deal of scrutiny, she studied her dagger placement.

"The one to the head needs to go deeper."

She spun around with a start at that all too familiar voice.

"You're late." She folded her arms and tapped her foot.

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry. Had to stop off for a quick bite."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "That's not funny."

"Not that kind of bite." He teased, holding up a styrofoam box.

"Oh." She blinked in surprise. "I forget that you enjoy normal food too."

He chuckled at that. "There are certain foods that I don't think any man could ever give up."

Olivia decided to ignore that as she wiped the sweat from her face and neck. "Now that you're here, let's get the formalities over with."

"Very well." Liam gestured toward her. "You may go first."

She sat down on a bench lining one side of the palace gym. She motioned for him to join her.

"Not you!" She hissed when she saw his all too familiar guard.

Drake Walker bristled at her tone. His brown eyes clashed with her green.

"Give us a moment, please." Liam asked him.

"Don't let your guard down." Drake warned. "Remember, she's a Nevarkis."

Olivia tensed. "Perhaps you should remember what happened the last time you said something like that."

She quirked one eyebrow at the man and felt a sense of glee when he winced in memory.

His hand automatically drifted to his side where one of her daggers had once struck true.

With a quick bow to Liam, Drake stepped back out into the hallway.

Liam shook his head. "Are you two ever going to get along?"

"Stop talking stupid." Olivia snapped. "Now then, as you know...I must have my revenge."

"I know." Liam folded his arms and leaned casually against a column.

She eyed him for any sign of hatred.

It drove her crazy how unvampiric he could be.

He seemed almost human.

He seemed...kind.

A vampire is nature's evil incarnate. You can never trust a Rhys.

Those words had been drummed into her skull by her parents and then her aunt after their deaths by Constantine's hand.

And yet...Liam had done the unthinkable.

He had actually been a friend to Olivia.

*************

The night after her parents' funeral, five year old Olivia had been sitting alone before the fireplace, weeping over them.

Her aunt had left her to deal with her own grief and to plan the next attack upon Constantine.

As she searched for a tissue, Olivia jumped back with a shriek at the little blonde haired boy that held the Kleenex box.

His eyes were filled with unshed tears as he handed her a tissue.

"Who are you?" She asked, remembering that a Nevarkis must always be brave.

"I'm Liam." He explained. "I wanted to...I wanted to tell you I'm sorry about your parents." He sniffed and took a tissue for himself. "My mom died too."

Olivia blinked and took a cautious step forward. "Are you...are you a vampire?!"

He nodded.

She whipped out the dagger her mother had given her and rushed at him.

Liam moved faster than she could comprehend, gently keeping her hand above her head.

"Let go of me, monster!" She ordered. "You're why I'm all alone!"

"I didn't do anything." He told her, anguish taking over his handsome features. "I don't want to hurt you or anyone."

"Liar!" She snapped. "That's what you do. Lie and kill." Her tears ran faster down her cheeks. "And now you'll kill me."

"I won't." He promised. "I swear I won't hurt you." He ignored his own tears trickling down his cheeks. His blue eyes burned with resolve. "My mother made me promise never to hurt a human."

Olivia shook her head. It had to be lies. Isn't that what vampires and monsters do? Lull you into letting your guard down so that they could have an easy kill.

"Your father will pay for what he did." She said, hoping to see his true, evil nature. "He must die!"

"I know." Liam slowly released her and took a step back.

Olivia watched in surprise as he sat down before her fireplace and pulled out a silk blue ribbon from his pocket.

He motioned for her to join him.

She slowly lowered herself down, dagger poised in her little fist in case he made a move.

"May I have your hand, please?" He asked.

He patiently waited on her to decide whether or not to give it to him.

She tentatively placed her hand in his.

His lips turned up into a relieved smile as he wrapped the ribbon over their joined hands.

"What are you doing?" She asked, lowering her dagger.

"Making a bond." He explained. "I, Liam Rhys, Crown Prince of the Dark Kingdom, promise to never seek out revenge and to end all vendettas against the Nevarkis family." His blue eyes held her green. "Just as my mother, Queen Eleanor wanted me to."

Oliva's lips parted. "You mean it?"

"I do." Liam's voice held a great deal of sincerity. "I would rather walk into the sun than not do as she asked."

"Oh." Olivia sniffed. She could understand that kind of devotion.

"Do you," Liam's cheeks colored. "Do you think we can be allies?"

"A Nevarkis will never be friends with a monster." She repeated the rhetoric that she knew by heart.

"But," Liam's shoulders slumped. "We're not all bad."

"All monsters are bad at heart."

"I'm not." He pouted. "I don't want to be."

"You're so weird." She muttered.

"Am not." Liam grumbled. "I hope I'm not."

Olivia looked down at their hands still bound together. "I guess since you promised something, I should too."

He didn't bother to hide his surprise.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I, Olivia Nevarkis, The Crown Princess of Cordonia, swear that after I kill Constantine Rhys, I will lay down my weapons." Her brow furrowed. "I'll pick them back up though if you or any other monster tries anything."

Liam's smile grew. Before she could react, he tugged her into a quick hug.

"Now we can be friends!" He cheered.

"Friends?" She shook her head. "I'm a Nevarkis and you're a Rhys. We can't be friends."

"We will be." He vowed, jumping to his feet. "I have to go before Father finds out I've sneaked out. I'll try to come back in a few nights."

Olivia didn't have a chance to tell him whether or not she wanted him to. In the blink of an eye, he had jumped from her balcony and was already out the palace gates.

*****************

That had been the beginning of Liam's visits. Through the years, he had remained true to his promise. He did all he could to befriend her and never tried to sway her from seeking vengeance.

Olivia had once asked him how he could take her threat against his father so easily.

He had merely shrugged, explaining that he knew it was the way of things. His father had killed both her parents, while he had only lost one. He hoped she didn't since he did not wish to see his father or her dead.

Olivia had then told him again how weird he was, bringing another smile to his lips.

And now here he was again, calmly taking her promised vengeance well.

"So what business brings you here tonight?" She asked.

"Father thinks it is time I chose a wife." Liam responded. "I thought you should know that I will be spending more time in your kingdom to find one."

Olivia shot up off the bench. "What? But you promised to never hurt a human!"

"And I will keep true to that." He explained.

"But..." Olivia's brow furrowed. "You'll turn her into a vampire."

"Only if she wishes it." Liam explained. "I won't force her to make such a decision."

"I see." She began to pace while thinking. "You'll have vampire children."

"Only if she's a vampire." He reminded her. "Remember my brother."

Olivia paused. She had forgotten about Leo Rhys, The Great Disappointment of the Dark Kingdom. His mother had begged Constantine not to turn her. It had never been asked before, and in his mercy he had agreed. That was when they all discovered that a monster and a human could only produce a human child. In order for the heir to the Dark Kingdom to be a vampire, both parents had to be the same being.

"And you'll be fine having human children?" She asked. "If you're chosen bride refuses the Vampire's Kiss?"

"Of course." He responded.

"Lord, you're so weird." She muttered.

His smirk flashed. "Let's hope the woman I choose doesn't think so."

"Are there no women in your kingdom you can choose from?" She asked.

"I've looked." He shook his head. "It's hard to explain, but if one doesn't have an arranged marriage, then we must search until we see the one meant for us."

"And you somehow got weirder." She brushed her hands down her pants and held one out to him. "Good luck, I suppose."

"Thank you." He grasped her hand and lifted it to his lips. "I'll keep you updated on my progress."

"There's no need."

"Of course there is." He winked at her on his way out. "We're friends."

Her lips parted to once again remind him that they couldn't be. For some reason, she decided not to say it.

Liam had somehow wormed his way into her life and had become the closest friend she had ever had.

********************

The Lee Residence, Shanghai, China...

Lorelei paled as she reread the report. 

It can’t be. Not Now!

Of all the times for this to happen, it would be when her stubborn, foolish daughter decided to visit. 

Given the nature of her relationship with Hana, she knew that there was no way she could convince her to postpone her trip to Cordonia. 

There was only one course of action left to take. She would have to call the one man who was capable of protecting her daughter. She would promise hiim anything as long as he kept Hana out of Liam’s clutches. As much as wanted her to give up this ridiculous hobby she called a job and settled down with the right sort of man, she would never put her in the path of becoming the next vampire queen. 

Setting down the packet of information from one of her informants, she checked to make certain no servant was out in the hallway and then searched for the needed phone number.

Taking a deep breath, she placed the call.

Her trepidation grew when he didn’t immediately answer.

"Hello."

"Lord Beaumont?" 

"Yes." She could hear a door closing in the background. "Who is this?"

"Lorelei Lee." She replied.

"Lady Lorelei." He responded with a recognition. "How can I help you?"

"My daughter and her friend have got it in their heads to come visit Cordonia." She began. "I'm not certain how long they intend to stay, but I was hoping that I could retain your services."

"For what exactly?" Lord Beaumont asked.

"Protection." She replied. "I have heard through certain channels that the dark prince is beginning to search for a bride." She took a deep breath. "We do NOT want our daughter anywhere near that vile creature."

"I understand." He replied. "I usually don't do personal security. With my brother, Bertrand, retired," he hesitated, "it is left up to me to help protect Cordonia's borders."

"My husband and I would be in your debt if you could watch over her in the evenings." Lorelei cajoled. "I've heard that your brother is planning on extending his vineyards. We would be more than happy to invest in the production and distribution of his sparkling wine. Perhaps even let it be the only sparkling wine we serve in our hotels."

"Send me her information and picture. Call her and tell her that since our family is an old friend of yours, that I've volunteered to show them around. Find out where she's staying and when she plans on arriving."

"Oh thank you, my lord. We--"

"I'll also need a contract prepared and signed for all that you offered." He added.

"Yes of course. I'll get everything to you at once." She promised.

Once he ended the call, she sank back down onto her chair. 

She bowed her head and began to pray that her daughter came to no harm these next few weeks. To lose Hana to one of the many creatures that roamed the night in Cordonia was too horrible to even contemplate.

If anyone could keep her daughter safe then it was none other than Lord Maxwell Beaumont.

[evolutionsvoid]

The labyrinthine tangle of mangrove roots creates an interesting habitat for all sorts of creatures, be they aquatic, amphibious or arboreal. They create shelter and barriers for those that dwell in the water below, while forming bridges and islands for those that prefer a drier lifestyle. These mangrove forests seem to bring together the creatures of the land and sea, resulting in fascinating species and behaviors that are found nowhere else. One of these unique species is the Mangrove Squid, a specialized cephalopod that calls these twisted roots home. The Mangrove Squid is an amphibious member of the squid and octopus family, residing solely in mangrove swamps and forests. While its body is more equipped for swimming in the ocean than walking on dry land, it spends a whole lot of its life out of the water. In truth, its limbs are best used for climbing purposes, relying on its many tentacles to latch onto roots and branches to pull it up. With all these prehensile tendrils, you would think these little guys clamber all over the mangrove forest like boneless monkeys. Despite this ability, they prefer to stick to the exposed roots of the mangroves, hanging right above the water line. This is because Mangrove Squids are ambush hunters, and sitting up above gives one a tactical advantage to those who swim down below. During their hunt for food, a Mangrove Squid will leave the water and climb up onto some exposed roots. Using four of its tendrils, it will anchor itself to these structures and position their body so it sits right above the surface. Its four other primary tentacles will dip back into the water and become perfectly still. Due to their coloration, Mangrove Squids blend in with the surrounding vegetation, and the unmoving tentacles take on the appearance of simple roots. Fish and other aquatic critters that swim past these disguised appendages will be grabbed and eaten. This is the perfect ploy, as many smaller creatures run to these mangrove root systems whenever danger approaches. With the squid hiding amongst this vegetation, other carnivores flush their food right into their waiting tendrils. If this does not happen, the Mangrove Squid may take matters into its own tentacles. Hidden amongst the rest of its appendages are two long, whip-like limbs. These are the "feeding tentacles" that most squids have, though these ones have a slightly different purpose. When prey refuses to get into grabbing range, the squid will reel these two tentacles in and use them in the open air. It will hang them over the water's surface, positioning them so that the paddles extend past the prey that dwells underwater. When everything is lined up perfectly, the squid will slap the surface with these limbs, causing a commotion. This will startle prey and cause them to seek shelter, usually right where the squid is hiding. The other limbs will intercept and then it is lunchtime! Though these feeder tentacles can be used for manipulating and catching prey, they serve another crucial role. Though they can dwell in the open air, Mangrove Squids need to keep moist. At times they must sit still for hours on end, while the air and sunlight slowly dries them out. To combat this, they use these feeder tentacles to delicately scoop up water and pour it on their exposed bodies. Special mucus glands in these limbs help them capture liquid and form it into a large bubble. This ensures that they get more water with each scoop, and that less spills out, which could frighten prey or alert them to the squid's presence. The act of watering themselves is a slow and careful one, as if they screw up, they could scare off their food. Mangrove Squids do not just climb onto these roots when they wish to hunt. They stick to the water when they wish to travel long distances or rest. If a big aquatic predator shows up, fleeing to the open air is their go-to. Getting out of the water is a good method for avoiding water-based carnivores, and the gnarled network of roots of the mangroves serves as good protection from both terrestrial and aerial predators. They rely on this for defense so much, that it is where they lay their eggs. Courtship and breeding occurs in the water, but when the female wishes to lay eggs, she goes to the mangroves. She dispense her eggs in a sticky spherical cluster, then scoops them up with her feeder tentacles. She will then use these limbs to attach this cluster deep in the root network, in cramped places that even she may have a hard time fitting into. These eggs will be attached so that they hang right above the water. They will not be so close that they are submerged (as aquatic species could easily eat them), but they will be close enough that the waves and splashes keep them wet. When they hatch, the larvae will drop right into the water and be immediately in the safety of the mangrove roots. This location certainly isn't perfect and predation will occur, but it certainly helps their chances!     Outside of these forests, the Mangrove Squid isn't too well known or revered, just another critter swimming around these flooded mazes. The only folk who have really anything to say about this species are the Mangrove Dryads (which should be pretty obvious why). To be more specific, they don't really pay too much mind to the squids that roam about the wild, it is when these creatures try to set up shop in more personal places that the Mangrove Dryads start having an issue. They don't despise these critters, they just find them to be nuisances when the squids want to use their limbs as a hunting ground. Mangrove Dryads tend to use their tangled lower bodies as a sanctuary for a variety of species during hard times or rough weather, so they aren't too fond of a predator hanging around and taking advantage of that. They say that the squids can also scare their saplings that hide down below, a situation that no mother wants. I believe there is an extra reason for the Mangroves disliking these creatures getting too close, and that is the gross violation of personal space. I mean, cripes, can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be to have something like that just latched on down there? I know Mangroves are used to having critters running around their roots, but still! It just seems uncomfortable and disgusting! It makes me think of that book I read once that turned out to totally not be a research-appropriate account of a Lou Carcolh. I think someone put it in the wrong section of the library, because it certainly did not belong in the non-fiction category! Honestly, I should have been tipped off of its scientific inaccuracy when they seemed to ignore the fact that the tentacles of a Carcolh have a natural adhesive on them. Had I been faster on catching that, I would have spared myself of the coming horror. It does explain why the librarian was giving me such an odd look when I rented it during my research of the beast. I am sure it didn't help my case when I told her it was for "research purposes." Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ----------------------------------------------------------------- Behold, the Mangrove Squid! It is a squid that looks like a mangrove! Gosh, how creative! Got to love that totally original name!          

[ellocentipede]

Arcana Craves Vanilla Reviews!

Vanilla Craves the Honor of Aphrodite

Scent description: Voluptuous melted caramel coils around softly whipped coconut creme. Sun-warmed Californian wild oranges are laced with honeyed cardamom, then dipped in vanilla beans, Muscovado sugar, and delicate ivory patchouli.

This is a gorgeous scent! The wild oranges are ripe and perfect--a little tart and natural and beautiful. The oranges are on a pillow of delicately cardamom-spiced vanilla and coconut cream, that’s rich and oh-so-very-slightly tropical. The caramel to my nose is barely there and not too sweet, and there’s a subtle grounding earthy element that must be the patchouli. Vanilla Craves the Honor of Aphrodite is a stunning luscious blend.

Vanilla Craves 90s Malls

Scent description: The scent of rebellious young punks and toothachingly sweet innocence. Bright fluorescent lights, glossy watermelon-flavored lip gloss, a ziplock baggie of fresh, green bud, and sticky vanilla-laced marshmallow treats.

Wow, this scent is straight out of my childhood. This takes me back to chewing endless amount of watermelon Hubba Bubba and slathering on Bonne Bell lip gloss. With some time I get the citrusy green of the bud (which is 100% NOT from my childhood, just to be clear!). This is such a happy and joyful blend, conjuring memories of the neon lights and pyramid candles in the Topkapi store!

Vanilla Craves Spring

Scent description: An absurdly delightful blend of two gourmand vanillas, young honeysuckle, pink bubblegum, white amber, a hint of galbanum, and a single drop of sweet mint.

Vanilla Craves Spring is my second favorite scent of all of the Craves! (Marshmallows Scatter is #1!) Spring is my favorite time of year, and Vanilla Craves Spring is a glorious homage to new life, light, and budding flora. Who would have thought that honeysuckle and bubblegum would smell so wonderful together? This bubblegum is pink, powdery, and fresh, like untouched Bazooka, and blends seamlessly with the waxy, heady, nectar-sweet honeysuckle. A kiss of green mint gives the scent some zip and freshness, and of course the smooth vanillas tie everything together to create a blend that smells like hope and happiness. Please do not be scared off the eclectic mix of notes in this blend. I’m no lover of mint or bubblegum, but this scent is more than the sum of its parts--it’s gorgeous and well worth a try. 

Vanilla Craves Terror

Scent description: Creamy vanilla with Arcana Wildcraft’s legendary Holy Terror (burning frankincense, sandalwood, deep myrrh, and dusty beeswax candles).

The frankincense and myrrh is in this one smells like Christmas Eve mass! The dustiness here is really lovely--it’s like a candlelit mass in a beautiful old church... with cookies. The vanilla is not prominent to my nose, but is like a binding agent that ties all of the other elements together. Vanilla Craves Terror is a cuddly, more approachable version of Holy Terror.

Vanilla Craves Sugar Cookies

Scent description: Warm sugar cookies are infused with three gourmand vanillas and a hint of vanilla musk.

Oh this does smell like warm sugar cookies! This is lovely. Warm, buttery, homemade sugar cookies with extra vanilla extract! Simple, yet cozy and wonderful.

Vanilla Craves Fireworks

Scent description: The scent of New Year's Eve. Rich black leather accord, incense-infused dark vanilla, and a splash of champagne.

This blend is magical. It really does smell like a festive winter night. The black leather is of the smooth and silky variety--it’s both cool and cozy and blends beautifully with the pop of champagne. I can’t stop smelling this one--my nose is glued to my wrist! I never go out anymore because of babies + pandemic, but this blend makes me yearn for a fun and carefree night out.

Vanilla Craves Snow Fairies

Scent description: Frozen honey with dry white musk, winter vanilla, opulent amber, snow, vodka, and a sliver of orris root.

Vanilla Craves Snow Fairies smells like snow! This is a fun and magical blend that manages to smell cool and cozy all at once. A crisp and cloudy white musk is kissed with vanilla and sweetened by a subdued honey and made elegant by a hint of orris (a la the glorious Celestite blend) and a smooth, rich amber. A touch of vodka creates the illusion of an icy, snow-covered vista. This is one of my favorites of this collection! It’s smooth and elegant, beautiful, and fun.

Vanilla Craves Warmth

Scent description: Our Garnet Grapefruit blended with dark, smoky, intoxicating vanilla.

I was a little confused when reading that Vanilla Craves Warmth features grapefruit, but now that I’ve tried it, it 100% makes sense. This opens with the most wonderful red, tart, juicy grapefruit note. I’ve loved every grapefruit scent that Julia has created--they’re all punchy and realistic in the best possible way, and Vanilla Craves Warmth is no different. Somehow when combined with this beautiful smoky vanilla, the grapefruit develops a warming quality, almost like burning embers. It’s an intoxicating scent, and a fun experience as well.

Vanilla Craves Mermaid Shoals

Scent description: A gourmand aquatic fantasy. An opening of warm, musky neroli leads to a heart of lemon biscotti, bright tangerine, sunlight glittering on blue water, vanilla, sea foam, briny seaweed absolute, and scattered rose petal incense.

Vanilla Craves Mermaid Shoals is another fine example of Julia’s expertise with aquatic and tropical scents, with some toothsome gourmand elements added to keep things interesting! This is the scent of eating orange creamsicles and iced lemon cookies on the most beautiful tropical beach. The creamsicle is perfection--smooth, sweet vanilla cream and juicy, tart tangerine--and the iced lemon cookies melt a bit in your fingers. The sea breeze carries the scents of sparkling, pearl-crusted foam, and a light hint of waxy pink blossoms. This is a fantasy indeed. An utterly beautiful scent!

Vanilla Craves Grind Shows

Scent description: The edible aromas of a traveling carnival overflowing with oddities and amusements. Vanilla-laced cotton candy, deep fried funnel cakes encrusted with powdered sugar, salty peanuts, kettle corn, and caramel-covered apples.

This scent is also reviewed in the Daydream Collection post, but I’m  including it here as well! Sweet kettle corn, pink cotton candy, and a pop of salty peanut! With time, the kettle corn wins out as the dominant note for me, and it’s wonderful. It smells so realistic that I feel like I’m sticking my nose into a bag of warm, freshly-popped, sweet and salty kettle corn. This is a wonderful and happy carnival scent that makes me yearn for our local fair.

Vanilla Craves Cocoa

Scent description: An elegant twist on chocolate and vanilla. Swanky white amber and sheer vanilla musk with our Hot Cocoa accord (a rich cocoa CO2 infusion melds with the finest dark chocolate and a mug full of fluffy white marshmallows).

Vanilla Craves Cocoa is so, so delicious. The Hot Cocoa layering note is my favorite chocolate scent (it smells like the perfect cup of frothy hot cocoa made with milk, coated in melty marshmallows), and Vanilla Craves Cocoa adds some complexity to it with the hint of opulent amber and kiss of diaphanous vanilla musk. It’s a beautiful scent, and I recommend it for even those who don’t typically love chocolate in perfumes.

Vanilla Craves Gingerbread

Scent description: Rich, gourmand vanilla with Arcana Wildcraft's Gingerbread accord (luxe golden ginger, gingerbread, warm ginger cookies, and delicately piped icing).

Well, this one was unexpected! I get fresh, candied ginger and a squeeze of bright, tart lemon. It smells like sparkling ginger candy or fresh, cool ginger beer. It’s bright and refreshing. With time the freshness of the ginger tames a bit, and I do get some festive, warm, bready goodness. This is artisanal gingerbread made with actual ginger, not the stuff from a box.

Arcana Craves perfumes may be found at https://arcanacraves.com/

[virtualrenfaire2020]

Virtual Ren Faire 2020 Calendar

We have activities and themed days, plus we’ve compiled a bunch of livestreams from some fantastic performers to enjoy during our Faire. The calendar is updated daily, so stay tuned for more events!

Saturday, March 28

Opening day!

Join us on Opening Day for a day of faire activities. Share photos, videos, and stories relating to your ren faire experience! 

Submissions will be open starting today for the Costume Contest!

O.W.L. Fest - 7:30 AM PDT

An all-day series of concerts with a wizardly theme. A new artist is live every half hour until 7:00 PM, so tune in anytime! Don’t forget to refresh the page between concerts to listen to the latest stream. The current lineup is: Tonks and the Aurors, Lauren Fairweather, Ashley Hamel, Hawthorn & Holly, Grace Kendall, Kalysta Flame, Pussycat Dolores, The Purebloods, Flitwick and the Charmers, Losing Lara, Muggle Snuggle, Percy and the Prefects, Ludo Bagman and the Trash, Draco and the Malfoys, The Mudbloods, The Lovegoods, Alas Earwax!, The Blibbering Humdingers, Abby Ritter, The Swedish Shortsnouts, Kirstyn Hippe, POTTÖRHEAD, The Arkadian, Karl-Johan, and Toucan Dubh.

Check out the Facebook livestream concerts here.

Ye Banished Privateers Virtual Release Party - 11:00 AM PDT.

“Let’s party like it’s 1720! Borders are closing, people are being forced to shut their doors. Our global world is growing smaller, but Ye Banished Privateers believes in staying connected through the crisis. On march 28th we were planning to throw a big release party for our new album Hostis Humani Generis in our home town Umeå, Sweden, which naturally had to be cancelled due to the corona pandemic. Instead we’ll be hosting a live streamed event, at 19.00 cet 28/3 that will be worthy of an official release concert. We want to try and make this something special and grand . . . let’s stand together in all safe ways possible.”

Check out the Youtube livestream concert here.

Pub Crawl - 1:30 PM PDT. 

We’ll be hosting a BYOB pub crawl. Keep an eye out for the tag vrf2020 pub crawl for more info. Please follow local drinking laws and drink responsibly!

Cyrus Pynn (The Swordsman) - 2:00 PM PDT.

“I am a self taught professional sword swallower who perfected the art at the Coney Island Sideshow School, where I learned to present it in an entertaining and classy manner. Since then I have pushed the limit with this dangerous feat as I have traveled across the United States performing with Carnivals, Festivals and Variety Shows . . . Demonstrating the world's most dangerous stunt in an entertaining, classy manner featuring comedy, audience interaction and, of course, death defiance! ‘Down the Hatch without a Scratch!’“

Check out the Facebook livestream show here.

Andrea Beaton - 4:30 PM PDT.

“Andrea grew up in a musical family in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia.  Both the Beaton and MacMaster sides of her family are well known and respected as some of Cape Breton's finest musicians, dancers and composers. She has made 6 solo CDs, a duo album with her father Kinnon, and published 3 books of tunes.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

The CRAIC Show - 5:00 PM PDT.

“The CRAIC Show is an intense & wildly entertaining act, made up of five international travelers who, in 1541AD, were banded together on an ancient battlefield. This unique merging of music from far away lands brings a sound that is unlike any other . . .  Ever-changing and constantly blending styles, The CRAIC Show is always bringing a fresh, high energy blend of World Medieval Music to a modern audience.” 

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Erin Rae - 7:00 PM PDT.

“Gifted with a unique ability to fuse musical genres and influences to craft songs that feel fresh and wholly her own, with her new album Putting On Airs, Erin Rae has thrown down a direct challenge to the stereotype of what a Southern singer should be. Both lyrically and sonically, she strikes a fiercely independent chord, proudly releasing a deeply personal record that reflects her own upbringing in Tennessee, including the prejudices and injustices that she witnessed as a child that continue to impact her life to this day. According to Rae, ‘this album was born out of a need to do some healing work in my personal life, in order to address some fears and patterns of mine to allow my true feelings to come to the surface.’”

Check out the Instagram livestream concert here.

Sunday, March 29

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Alistair McCulloch - 11:30 AM PDT.

“Alistair is one of Scotland's best known fiddle performers and teachers.  His trio features Aaron Jones of Old Blind Dogs, and former Capercaillie whistle wizard Marc Duff. Alistair has taught a generation of rising stars at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Linda McRae - 1:00 PM PDT.

“Linda’s love of Canadian, American and British music early on in her career resulted in multiple band configurations from roots-rock to punk to folk . . . When Linda steps onto a concert stage, into a recording studio, workshop or mentoring session, there is an effortless passion, a love of what she does and a connection with fans and friendships built and treasured. A multi-instrumentalist Linda works tirelessly as a touring singing songwriter, performing at premiere venues across Canada, the US and Europe while turning out new works.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

The Glow Bubble Show (Meadow Perry) - 4:00 PM PDT.

“Meadow Perry is a Philadelphia based Magician, Bubble Artist and Actress. Known for her beloved children's character, Meadowlark the Faerie, Meadow has been performing in various genres from the stage to private events for over 15 years. The Bubble Magic of Meadow Perry is a show that takes the visual art of bubbles, theatrical storytelling, enchanting magic, thrilling music, & a touch of sophistication to create a unique and entertaining show that has been described as ‘A mesmerizing, spellbounding experience! Charming and interesting, Meadow takes the rules of bubbles outside the box!’”

Check out the Instagram livestream show here.

Monday, March 30

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Merchants’ Monday

Show our wonderful shops some extra love today!

Shannon Lay - 12:00 PM PDT.

“There is an entire sub-genre of poetry devoted to rivers and their persistent, meditative flow . . . For transcendent folk-pop artist Shannon Lay, the river is all of the above: It’s the metaphor driving her latest album, the exquisitely uplifting August (Sub Pop Records, out August, 23rd)—which doubles as an aural baptism renewing her purpose for making music. ‘I always picture music as this river. Everyone’s throwing things into this river, it’s a place you can go to and feed off of that energy,’ she says, ‘and feel nourished by the fact that so many people are feeling what you’re feeling. It’s this beautiful exchange.’”

Check out the Instagram livestream concert here.

Jesse Linder, Bard - 5:00 PM PDT.

“. . .'Singer of Songs, Teller of Tales.’ Jesse performs as a solo artist and as a member of 3 Pints Gone, and has been a member of Separated at Birth, CrossRogues, and Tippler's Way. Jesse sings at Renaisance faires, American reenactments, Irish pubs, and coffeehouses throughout the Midwest. He currently has three solo CDs and five group CDs in print.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Steven Greenman - 6:00 PM PDT.

“Steven has worked with some of the world’s leading klezmer ensembles, is a founding member of Cleveland’s East European ensemble Harmonia, and has been a guest soloist with the Cleveland Pops Orchestra, performing his own arrangements of gypsy and klezmer music.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Tuesday, March 31

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Time Travel Tuesday

Share your favorite photos and costumes from any time period, from Ancient Greece to 2265. After all, in quarantine, time all feels a little wibbly wobbly!

Jonathan Cannon - 5:30 PM PDT.

“Jonathan has studied klezmer, Romanian, Celtic, and American fiddling, performs regularly, with award-winning Boston klezmer band Ezekiel’s Wheels, and for contra dances.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Wednesday, April 1

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Anne-Mari Kivimäki & Palomylly - 10:00 AM PDT.

“Anne-Mari Kivimäki & Palomylly is an impressive sound mix with stories, archive recordings, jouhikko, double bass, vocals and accordion. Kivimäki’s music has a hypnotic pulse and it’s made for the love of old stories. Kivimäki has gathered her Palomylly band from the musicians on her successful Lakkautettu Kylä (A Closed-Down Village) album.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Troy MacGillivray with Sabra MacGillivray - 4:30 PM PDT.

“Troy is a brilliant fiddler, pianist and stepdancer from Nova Scotia.  He’s been featured at many festivals including Celtic Connections in Scotland, East Coast Music Awards, Celtic Colours Festival in Cape Breton, the Barbados Celtic Festival and the Edinburgh Fiddle Festival.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Thursday, April 2

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Cookie Segelstein with Josh Horowitz - 10:00 AM PDT.

“Founder of Veretski Pass, and fiddler with many other top klezmer bands, Cookie has taught workshops round the world, and has been featured in an ABC documentary and a film starring Robert DeNiro.  Josh founded the band Budowitz and has played with Vienna Chamber Orchestra, Theodore Bikel, and accompanied Itzhak Perlman on PBS.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Oshima Brothers - 3:00 PM PDT.

“Raised in a musical family in rural Maine, the brothers have honed a harmony-rich blend of contemporary folk and acoustic pop. On stage, Sean and Jamie create a surprisingly full sound with dynamic vocals, electric and acoustic guitars, octave bass, loops, and percussion. The brothers live in Maine but are often on the road performing, producing music videos, and dancing.”

Check out the Facebook livestream concert here.

Friday, April 3

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest!

Furry Friends Friday

Ever dressed your pet up for the faire? Show us your photos and costume ideas! Or show us your faire-themed fursuit. You do you.

Let’s Get Traditional (The Minstrel Rav’n) - 4:00 PM PDT.

“The Minstrel Rav'n travels the lands Telling Songs and Singing Stories about Taverns, Pirates and Elven Lasses. Songs of Adventure, Drinking... and things a bit on the Naughty Side!”

Check out the Facebook livestream here.

HST (Ed, Lilly & Neil Pearlman) - 4:30 PM PDT.

“HST (Highland Soles Trio) is 3/5 of a family band, with dancer Laura Scott and Jesse on whistle. HST has toured the US and Scotland with new and old tunes in the Scottish tradition.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Saturday, April 4

Gráinne Brady - 12:30 PM PDT.

“Gráinne is an Irish fiddle player from County Cavan in Ireland and currently based in Glasgow where she leads sessions and plays with Top Floor Taivers, string group The Routes Quartet, and Gaeilge/Gàidhlig supergroup LAS.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Pub Crawl - 1:30 PM PDT.

We’ll be hosting a BYOB pub crawl. Keep an eye out for the tag vrf2020 pub crawl for more info. Please follow local drinking laws and drink responsibly!

Costume Contest Judging - 6:00 PM PDT.

Submissions remain open for the Costume Contest until 6:00. Winners will be chosen between 6:00 and 7:00 PDT.

Sunday, April 5

Jenna Reid - 11:30 AM PDT.

“Jenna is a member of the great fiddle bands Blazin' Fiddles, and RANT.  Born & bred in Shetland, she learned fiddle from the late Willie Hunter. Following her music degree, Jenna performed with Dóchas and Deaf Shepherd before joining her current bands.”

Check out the Zoom livestream concert here.

Closing Day

We’re sad to see you go, but we hope to catch you at an IRL faire next season!

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name:  Toruga ( Winchester ) Nicknamed:  The Good Doctor, Father, Doc, Purple Pimp

Gender: Male Species: Demon Age: Immortal, appears to be in his late 30s, early 40s Sexuality: If its a shade of royal purple, its within that field of interest. Otherwise, he couldnt care less Nationality: Travels about, German based design. Dude is a demon imitating human design City or town of birth: The Enigma , The realm of Neikan and the Emotions Currently lives: Moves where there is work, primarily between Europe and the United States, where is assets are located Languages spoken: English, Spanish, German, Russian, Korean, Japanese, variations of the chinese dialect (fluent in Mandarin) , Hindi -- basically a workable understanding of many mainstream languages of varying countries. He’s old, he’s been around, and he is able to retain and learn easily Native language: prefers English and German Accent/diction: Speaks with refined annunciation with his English, but in a more relaxed state he has a slight German accent. Relationship Status: A widower still obsessed with his monsters and his creator but she just wont see him in such a way rip the man

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’6 Weight: 160 pounds in human form, his dark form varies in weight Figure/build: Tall, stocky built. His muscle is primarily in his arms, legs, and chest, with a faintly noticeable gut (lowkey dad bod) Hair color: Black, peppered with grey strands Hairstyle: keeps it medium length but professional, Eye color:  A deep orange Skin/fur colour: His skin is a sandy beige complexion littered by dark discolored scars. Having tiger features, he has inverted colors with black fur and white stripes. Tattoos: Neikan’s branding is on his left inner forearm. Tends to stroke it absentmindedly  Scars/distinguishing marks: Toruga is littered by minor discolored scars all over his arms and chest, but his iconic scar is the 3 clawed slashing going down his face. Preferred style of clothing: In a button up collared shirt and black dress pants, coupled with his lap coat, He never really goes anywhere without his labcoat. He has no real sense of.. Dressing casual. If not his lab coat, he still wears a kind of trenchcoat in some way. And suspenders for a touch of extra class

HEALTH

Bad Habits: -Cant form real human connection - sees everything as object variables to dissect ,explore, and use for experimentation. - Regularly abuses the fuck out of the other negatives because they are inferior idiots - Sociopathic murderer (“for Science”). -Obsessed with Neikan, the demon who created him, and will turn on anyone in her defense, friend or foe. -Views any personal connection to a person like having a pet you're fond for, but nothing is above Neikan. -Stress smoker.

Addictions: -Sexually infatuated by the color purple, - Takes Sadistic pleasure in watching the bold break down, - Gets off on taking control and causing pain in the act of intimacy.

PERSONALITY

Personality: Toruga is a deceptive man by nature, a demon conjured up and hand made by Neikan herself, inspired by Josef Mengele which she had seen in the lives of one of her vessels. Being based on the mad doctor, Toruga himself is brilliant in the fields of genetics, biology, and the anatomy of anything he can get his hands on. Despite the basis, Toruga is simply a being that never was a child, thus has formed a persona that imitates human emotion and relations to get his way. He doesn't feel true connection, he doesn't feel empathy, sympathy, or guilt for what he does, as long as it feeds into the goal of appeasing his mistress and furthering her goals. Which makes lying and altering his persona to the liking of his associates quite easy. Toruga presents himself like a fatherly figure -- even tempered, soft but confidently spoken, and constantly utilizing praise and interest in another when he’s looking to make nice. He’s a master of manipulation and will not hesitate to research a person’s history, or gauge a weakness from conversation alone, and exploit it if it makes them more agreeable or himself more appealing.   He doesnt respond to insults or physical attacks,  not a single thing in the world bothers him, save for the failure of the negatives to complete a task, or if the insult is directed at his mistress. Or if it is impeding his work, because that would make him unappealing to Neikan. Only then will he react. And he will do so swiftly and violently to make his point known. He is not afraid of death threats, or to be beaten or dismembered or tortured, because of his inability to die (Thanks to his connection to Neikan. For as long as she lives, he can) He finds those sorts of threats mildly amusing, because he has been here for centuries, and he will continue to be well after humanity is nothing more than bones and Ash beneath their feet. His personality can swivel on a dime, but overall he is a fairly pleasant person to interact and talk with. He;s had plenty of time to master human expression.  Toruga also tends to be very physical when he shows interest, with subtle touches, unbroken eye contact, and closeness. Its simply the spider tossing the silk of his webs to capture the poor fly that has no idea the fate to come. He can be incredibly jealous and spiteful when it comes to what diverts the attention of his mistress

Strengths: Determined, Even tempered, charming personality. Incredibly intelligent and gifted with holding conversations. A great asset if you need a doctor to work on any sort of viral or bacterial bioweapon, or if ya need a guy that likes to alter and play with mortal genetics. His inability to stay permanently dead makes him quite the threat in theory, and with that demonic origin he does have supernatural strength compared to the average mortal. He has no real blood, just inky mass of dark matter that makes up his form and drips in imitation blood.

Weaknesses: Neikan. Divine weaponry and magic also hurt like a bitch and would require he directly return to neikan to get fixed up.

Fears/phobias: Failing Neikan to the point she abandons him or makes another negative to replace him.

Favourite color:

P U R P L E 

Did I say purple?  Very important to know. And any shade that compliments it.

Hobbies: - Kidnapping subjects indiscriminately based on their viability and their chance of being pursued, disfiguring them, wiping their memory, and then using them as test subjects for his viral bioweapon projects. - Making handmade clothing for his test subject children. He’s quite the skilled tailor. He especially loves dressing up his daughter before she ran away - Traveling about to meet with and work closely with assorted allies towards an end goal of toppling human society and shifting power - Taking out his anger and frustration on the negatives because they dont die - Talking to his dead husband he keeps perfectly preserved in a case down in his lab

Theme Song: - “Pet” by perfect circle - “Trust me” from the Devil’s Carnival

SKILLS

Talents/skills: - Tailoring clothing of all materials - Extensive knowledge of the medical field - skilled virologist and biochemist - Manipulative - Skillful liar

Education: Multiple lifetimes of trial and error through multiple dimensions and a variety of different levels of technology he’s explored with. Lacking any formal training, being an extension of his mistress means he also inherits the knowledge of her vessels. Coupled with his own experimentation and studied through multiple worlds.

Abilities: Being a demon made of dark matter means he’s endowed with an assortment of natural abilities, however unlike the more well known hell spawn demons, the negatives and their abilities from Neikan are typically only physical based.  Those abilities include: - Enhanced Strength and Endurance (built up after years of handling monsters, and the lack of human limitations/strains on the body) - Complete Regeneration (as long as the weapon is not enchanted or by divine means) - Minor shapeshifting, limited to his true forms. From human, to the black mass in the shape of a man, to a beastial tiger form - A photographic and auditory memory that retains just about any information he finds worthy of withholding. It also allows him to learn any language with ease after being exposed to it for a period of time

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Created around the time period of Pride’s((The Vessel) lifetime, 6 vessels prior to Nikki, Toruga was formed at first out of curious reasons and the need for a friend, but her intent with him became malicious shortly after her grief in the following life which split her soul into two halves. Left with nothing but malice and hatred for humanity, with the worst aspect of her being, Neikan utilized all her negativity to create a figure that would help speed up the process of ending the lives of the future vessels. Toruga was based on Josef Mengele, which Neikan had been exposed to as a child through the eyes of her second vessel, Hate. The demon was never a child, born as a perfectly capable adult to keep this young grieving woman company, it was at the start of his existence which paved the way to his obsessive love for his Creator. Toruga was her friend, her pet project that she left responsible with overseeing any of her new creations were given a job and set in order. While not active at first, Toruga observed humanity from the distance and learned the art of imitating them perfectly to blend in and manipulate what he understood. He studied their texts, he studied their culture, the array of species, their anatomies, their science and their technologies, absorbed it all until he could put it to use at the very end. Toruga is in love with his mistress, but with her fixation on her vengeance and the delicate heartbreak, she refuses to see him in such a way. Which, in turns, drives his unyielding determination to please her to make her see him. Coming to the existence of the last vessel, Nikki, things got complicated. Neikan assigned him a task to make a malleable beast that can infiltrate, a living machine to be the wolf in sheep's clothing, so when the last life became known, this being would be sent to kill it. Unfortunately for them, that bio weapon became the last life. Once inheriting Neikan and all the previous lives, any of the previous wiring he had instilled in the fetus were completely wiped away with the new presence of thought and free will -- the result, which would send Toruga on a wild chase to retrieve his experiment , all the way back to Earth. He spends years having to establish bases and connections on earth, all while scouring for his little project, taking well over 10 years before finally finding her. When he eventually does kidnap her and attempt to reset her mentally, Nikki retaliates and flees, leaving him with the iconic face scar he has now, but his project was now an unstable mess.  

Toruga is a man who juggles many projects at once. Despite a singular failure, he is always looking to make improvements, which would have eventually led to the creation of Malakaid as a failsafe to getting rid of Nikki, then immediately lost after yet another raid by Rosie and the authorities. But there is no stopping, there is always alternatives to getting what he wants. His web is vast, his determination and will unyielding. The world will fall to his mistress, one way or another. As of now, Toruga works closely with a variety of associates, primarily the Branches of Virtues because of their plentiful assets, and acts as a kind of apostle for Neikan to gain more souls willing to join their cause. His main project is a viral mutagen called the Uxoru virus, and helping work towards a modified super soldier serum made from Angel’s blood.

Parents names: Neikan Shadou (Sheila Lunarcrest)

Siblings: The other negatives, including John, Sebura, Kura, and Joku. By technicality, anyone made by Neikan is a kind of sibling.

Relationship with siblings: Toruga is the head honcho of the show, responsible for directing and punishing the others for their failures. Their stupidity and clumsiness prove to be incredibly irritating to him, and because they cant die he has no hesitation in brutally maiming and abusing them for it. They all have a bitterness, but a respectful fear towards him, and he knows it well. None of them are his equal, for he was the first, and he intends to keep it that way.

Partner/Spouse: -Vermont (Former husband, now deceased. Murdered mistakenly by Toruga himself after Vermont questioned Neikan’s intentions and plans. )

Children:

- Nikki Ai (His first experiment, artificially created and planted within a mother. She has no recollection of him as her creator, but rather this monster that hunts her down. She never came back as she was suppose to, and thus is a nuisance he needs dead)

- Malakaid (The second improvement to Nikki’s design , made from Nikki and Jacob’s dna, spliced with his own. Malakaid was stolen as a baby by Rosie and imprinted on her. Because of this, he will not go back to Toruga.)

( From his relationship with Vermont)

- Veronica Winchester (Eldest daughter, ran away at 12 years old.)

- Toby Winchester ( A young boy, still living with him. He drags him around on his work trips when he’s able to. Because he witnessed his birth parent murdered as a toddler, Toby is practically a skittish mute of a boy that fears his father but will not dare leave the way his sister did.)

Enemies:

Basically got beef with everyone bcuz he probably fucked over your loved ones at some point and just doesn't recall it. He primarily has enemies with Rosie( A very personal vendetta) and the Angel Project, the Divine Calvary, and any enemies of the Branches of Virtues. He doesn’t try to make enemies but if people are gonna try to stop him from completing his work because its “unethical” and “Inhumane” then a bitch gonna go into the cage with the rest of the subjects. But he’s a hard man to hate because as long as you are blissfully ignorant, he seems like such a pleasant man to keep company with.

Associates:

- The Branches of Virtue

- Nathair Elerdand

- Neikan and the Negatives

Affiliated verse:

Tag: :The Good Doctor (Toruga):

- Iniquitous Essence (The info above)

- Pokeverse : Toruga is a scientist of the Aether foundation , working on a secret specialized project for Lusamine, to create a world where human and pokemon are one -- as halflings. He experiments using genetic information gathered from the ultra beast data, along with splicing human dna with that of Pokemon, varying from adults to unborn fetuses. Everyone of which failed (dying in a matter of months, if born. Dying and resulting in a stillbirth. Or death induced by the Human body rejecting the intrusive genetics and triggering a shut down response) until finally there was Rosie. He studied her for the entirety of her childhood, a secret success he dare not report until certain she would not die like the rest, only to be lost in a fire (as far as he knows) aimed at silencing her rowdy father.

Much to his dismay, Toruga continues his research on human genetics, milking the foundations of its assets to feed his curiosity, with no real loylty to anyone but himself. But those skulligans are a promising bunch of nobodies to utilize for testing. He’s on the hunt to get his pet project back

[allenmendezsr]

The Art Of Scrolling Steel

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/the-art-of-scrolling-steel/

The Art Of Scrolling Steel

 Buy Now    

Discover How to Turn “Unbendable” Steel into Hard Core, Heavy Metal, Strongman Artwork Just Like the Oldtime Strongmen Used to Do It.

You too can bend and twist steel bars into amazing pieces of art, once you learn the Ultimate Form of Steel Bending – STEEL SCROLLING.

From the desk of Jedd Johnson:

Dear Friends in Iron,

The Mighty Atom

Since the times when the first Circus Strongmen stood on stages to wow crowds with their might, Steel Bending has been a staple feat of strength.

From bending nails and spikes into “U” shapes to twisting horseshoes into “S’s,”

taking an object that is not meant to be bent, and bending it with sheer body and hand strength, is something truly impressive.

Men like the “The Mighty Atom” Joe Greenstein and Slim “The Hammer Man” Farman personified the Oldtime Performing Strongman, accomplishing

amazing bar and spike bending feats.

The great steel benders of yesterday have left behind a legacy of strength, and given us

many different types of bending to choose from.

Chuck Sipes Bending a Nail

First, there’s Short Bending, like Nail and Spike bending.

This is a strict form of bending where hand and wrist strength are key and contact with the lower part of the body is avoided.

This is often called the “gateway drug” of bending. The first type of steel bending that trainees learn and master.

It’s where you get hooked on the feeling of steel giving way to your strength.

Addicted to the rush of melting steel with your hand strength,

you find yourself wanting more…

The next step is Braced Bending.

Marx Bending a Horseshoe

With Braced Bending, you use your hands like wrenches and hammers to mold the steel…

Now, you destroy steel bars, and odd objects

by actually forcing them against your body.

Whether it’s driving a giant spike against your thigh with all your might to bend it into a U-shape…

…or if you hook a horseshoe around your side to pry it apart until it looks like an “S”…

…the objective is always the same – Conquering the Steel.

And like any other addiction, you can’t just stop there.

YOU NEED MORE.

You need to ramp things up.

Slim The Hammer Man

You need to take it to the next level.

Just like the karate student, who works and trains to graduate to the

next belt up…

…like a football player strives to go

from the JV team, up to Varsity…

…and the Minor League Baseball player who longs for the chance to play

in the Majors…

…with Steel Bending, the Big Leagues is Scrolling.

To truly join the ranks of the Mighty Atom, Slim the Hammer Man, John Grunn Marx, and the other legends of the past…

You must learn the

Ultimate Form of Steel Bending – Steel Scrolling.

Streaming On-line Version Digital Download: $39

Hard Copy Version Hard Copy DVD: $49 + S&H

The legendary steel benders of yesterday were never able to produce the How-To Manuals and Videos that could have helped this art stay alive.

And because of that, Steel Bending and Scrolling is slowly dying out.

This is where Bud Jeffries and I come in.

Bud and I have been bending steel of all sorts since the early 2000’s, and we love spreading the passion of steel bending.

Now, we have put together the video that explains Steel Scrolling and how you can practice this art form exactly the way the pioneers of scrolling did it way back when.

There’s just something awesome about the feeling of twisting a steel bar into an artistic shape, and being able to place it on your mantle or entertainment center, and remember the battle you had with it.

The sweat that drips from your brow to the floor.

The struggle with the bar as you press on the steel, and it pushes back at you, like a fight to the death…

The glory you feel once you’ve defeated the steel.

And the bond you now possess with the great Oldtime Strongmen of the past.

That is what Steel Scrolling is all about.

And that is how we want you to feel.

We want Steel Bending and Scrolling to enjoy a rebirth, and it starts with you.

With steel bending, you can challenge yourself further than with conventional strength training.

You can finish off each training session with an exclamation point, and a trophy for your work.

And whether you are left with a pile of bent nails, or a stack of twisted horseshoes, you know you are following a rite of passage that connects you to the great strongmen of the past.

And now it’s time for you to go one step further…Scrolling Steel.

Grab Your Copy of This Double-DVD Today:

Streaming On-line Version Digital Download: $39

Hard Copy Version Hard Copy DVD: $49 + S&H

What is Steel Scrolling?

Steel Scrolling is the art, science and physical performance of bending steel into purposefully made, artistic shapes, usually with a crowd watching in amazement.

Alexander Zass

Steel Scrolling is what they did in the times of the oldtime strongmen, back before everything got all watered down and packaged into a 7-minute abs commercial.

Back then, Scrolling showed you were the real deal and made you immortal if you mastered it.

It’s the perfect blend of heavy metal ferocity and graceful ballet artistry.

It combines the strength of a weight lifter with the endurance of a distance runner and the cunning of an engineer.

An outlaw variety of strength that stands alone as the king of steel bending.

And you can learn this lost art of the oldtime strongmen with our video, “The Art of Scrolling Steel.”

Streaming On-line Version Digital Download: $39

Hard Copy Version Hard Copy DVD: $49 + S&H

Here’s Exactly What You Will Learn in the Art of Steel Scrolling:

The Types of Scrolling: Scrolling is broken up into several styles. You’ll learn each one and when to use them for best results.

Shortening the Learning Curve: Bud and I share with you our key tips that’ll save you hours of searching if not years of wasted training.

Purposeful Shapes or Abstract Steel Sculptures?: There are differences, and you will learn them right from the beginning of the video.

How Scrolling Incorporates Other Forms of Bending: Scrolling involves techniques found in other types of steel bending, and soon you’ll be able to pick them out easily and make mastering scrolling even easier for yourself.

The Most Common Steel Bars for Scrolling: You’ll know what type, length and size of steel to use and why each one works best for each type of scroll.

Protective Materials for Serious Scrolling: You’ll learn what types of gloves and pads to use, when to use them or not, and the reasons why.

Maximize Your Leverage: You’ll learn how to optimize your body angles and positioning to make even the hardest steel bars do what you want them to do.

How to Save Money When Buying Steel: In this section, you’ll learn where to go to get your steel bars, so you can buy more bars for your hard earned cash.

Special Safety Considerations: Injuries are rare, especially when you know what to do and what not to do, but you’ll learn the insider tips relating to footwear, surface you stand on, avoiding moisture and more.

Workouts Like You’ve NEVER Had Before: You’ll learn how creating a twisted look to the steel will give you better core workout than anything you’ve ever done before.

Next Level Scrolling: We give you all our secrets and show you how to make unique steel scrolls you can sell and make money.

Don’t FIGHT the Steel – Work With It: You’ll learn what to look for so you can see EXACTLY what the steel bar wants to do, making the Scroll EASIER.

Cross-Training for the Grapplers Out There: Why this is the perfect training for grapplers and martial artists and why it develops strength to tear a body limb from limb.

Must-Know Info for Strongman Performers

For those of you looking to Scroll Steel on stage before a crowd, we made sure to include this special section for the future Strongman Performers:

How to Make a Piece Worthy of a Stage Show: We show you the secrets that will make you look like a seasoned pro on the stage.

How to Finish Your Scroll The RIGHT Way: You always want to finish your scroll THIS WAY so the crowd knows you are a legit performer and NOT just a pretender.

The Bending Style to Avoid at All Costs: The dangerous style of bending that injured a legendary strongman, and why you should never try it…EVER!

Secrets From the Vault: A special style of Scrolling from one of the true legends of the strongman game

Whether you do shows in front of 12 people or 1200, you need to know the information in the above section beforehand.

Ever Wonder How a Performing Strongman Trains?

Well, you’re gonna find out in the next section.

You see, Bud Jeffries is the last of a dying breed.

Bud makes his living as a Strongman Performer, and he knows how to stay in top condition all year long.

Unfortunately, there’s only so much steel he can take with him on his travels around the country.

So he has developed some amazing strength training methods using regular gym equipment, that help him develop top-level bending strength all year long.

And in the last section of this DVD, he shares them with YOU.

Here’s what you are going to learn from the last of the Full-Time Performing Strongmen:

Bud’s Functional Pushing Isometric: This will make your shoulders and entire upper body stronger than it ever has before.

Bud’s Functional Pulling Isometric: This is a huge back and lat builder, and I couldn’t believe how CRAZY it felt when Bud showed it to me.

Noah’s Functional Core Isometric: Bud’s son, Noah, is an innovator, too, and this series of lifts will target your core better than ANY other abdominal exercise you know and skyrocket your braced bending strength off the charts.

The 3-Dimensional Dynamic/Isometric Combination: You’ll be ready for ANYTHING when you see the CRAZY ways Bud combines the Row and the Press – for the SICKEST Hybrid Exercises.

Dennis Rogers Gripper Band Pulls: LEGIT Gripper Training for every steel bending strongman – these will turn your fingers into vises and make your wrists as strong as steel cables

It’s Time to Become a “Complete” Strongman

You may already be bending steel, but if you haven’t mastered Scrolling, you’re missing the final chapter that will complete your legacy.

It’s time to go to the next level.

It’s time to create the next modern art, and steel bars are the medium.

It’s time to become the next Michelangelo, with the strength and power of the X-men.

Scrolling Steel is about imposing your raw will on what many see as unbendable steel.

It’s hand-bent, no heat, no tools, steel sculpture.

And now, the “How-to” is no longer bottled up by a small group of modern strongmen.

Today, you can learn how to turn steel into your own signature artwork with your own brute force and bare hands.

Streaming On-line Version Digital Download: $39

Hard Copy Version Hard Copy DVD: $49 + S&H

You will love this living performance art, done with purposeful thought, and precision force, to make a specific shape out of “unbendable steel.”

Along the way, Scrolling will strengthen every tendon, ligament, and muscle in your body.

Such is the power of this lost art.

Make no mistake about it, the men who did this, were the strongest lions to walk this planet.

You can be just like them.

And we will show you how.

All the best with your scrolling,

   Jedd & Bud

Common Questions

Who Are Jedd and Bud and Why Should I Listen to Them About Steel Scrolling?

Bud and I have a combined 20+ years of steel bending between them. Along the way, we’ve mastered the art of breaking down complex movements like steel bending and scrolling, so that we can teach them in a way anyone can understand how to do them. The Art of Scrolling Steel is no different, and we will walk you through many different Steel Scrolls so you too can forge these pieces of steel art yourself.

Will This Information Be Too Advanced for Me?

Bud and I took our time and got actual scrolls on film for you to watch. These are not gimme scrolls or warm-up bends. We did the actual scrolls we would do on stage before a crowd, or in our gyms to produce top-notch steel scroll artwork. All the time, we are pausing so you catch everything you need to and miss nothing. In some cases, while one of us is bending, the other is giving coaching cues and commentary, to help you understand exactly what is going on.

How Did You Pack All of This Valuable Information into One Product?

We kept editing to a minimum to make sure NOTHING is left out. You will get everything you need to learn scrolling the right way. Because of the amount of information we are providing, The Art of Steel Scrolling is a Double-DVD. That’s right – you are receiving 2 DVD’s.

How Are the DVD’s Delivered?

Right now, we have a small inventory of 50 copies of this double-DVD in stock. We will personally mail each copy of the DVD set to you. Once the inventory is wiped out (and with the size the waiting list has grown to, that won’t be too long), we will use our time-tested and reliable publishing and shipping company to print and mail the DVD’s out you.

What If I Need to Return a DVD?

Easy. Just ship it back to me at the following address. Please include a note explaining what is wrong with the DVD or email me at jedd dot diesel at gmail dot com.

Jedd Johnson PO Box 806 Wyalusing PA 18853

What if I Live Overseas and Don’t Want to Pay for Shipping?

Bud and I realize that shipping and customs charges can be pretty annoying for our customers overseas, so we decided to make the video available in a digital download version as well. All you have to do is choose the digital version when you click the Add-to-Cart button.

What Kinds of Scrolling Feats are Covered in the Video? What If I Need to Bring Up My Strength in Order to Scroll Steel?

We’ve got you taken care of – we covered Special Strength Training for Steel Scrolling in this DVD set, too! This part of the DVD could literally stand alone and we should probably sell it separately. This section has some of the most unique and specific exercises for steel bending and scrolling, but more than that, literally the toughest core exercises you’ve ever seen. These drills are simple to set up and will make you BRUTALLY STRONG. There’s more than a dozen variations of these five special exercises.

We will get you started the right way. We’ve got you covered.

Now, the rest is up to you. Click the Add to Card Button below:

Streaming On-line Version Digital Download: $39

Hard Copy Version Hard Copy DVD: $49 + S&H

[brownskinsugarplum76]

One Shot: A Very Tropical Christmas

OK… I hope you agree with me that better late than never is a good thing. ☺️ This is the Christmas Maggie/Robert story that I mentioned last week. This takes place after the events I'm writing up in Eye of the Storm, soon after Maggie and Robert have gotten back from their separate tours. Robert has a special Christmas surprise that he thinks is well deserved for Maggie, after her success on the road. There's a good mix of fluff and NSFW smut. Happy belated holidays! ❤️❤️❤️

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"We’re almost there!” Robert was excited. Too excited. The suspension bridge jostled a little harder as he sped up his gait from his usual regal stroll.

Maggie was glad the walk was coming to an end, although the beauty of the lush jungle environment was a good distraction.

Brightly colored birds darted in and out of the variety of trees that closed tightly to either side of the bridge, all the while singing songs of joy to live in an undisturbed paradise. She breathed in the strong scent of tropical flowers and rich soil which, when coupled with the humidity that hung thickly in the air, gave the experience a dream-like quality.

She told herself she'd have to come back later with her camera so she could remember it all well into the future. Without exactly knowing what Robert had in mind, it was already a dream come true.

A few days before, Robert, grinning from ear to ear, confessed to Maggie that he had booked a special getaway for them. Robert succeeded in not blurting out the details, and Maggie was unable to get him to divulge any information after plying him with her repertoire of romantic tricks. Robert was committed to giving Maggie a big Christmas surprise.

After stepping off the bridge and emerging from the tree-lined gravel path, they stood before a multi-level treehouse. Maggie gasped. Robert had caught her admiring photos of this exact place in an issue of Look magazine right before she left on her tour.

He sat their bags down while he fished the key out of his shorts pocket. “Surprise and Merry Christmas! Welcome to our jungle hideaway.”

“Robert! My goodness, you remembered!”

“I’m always paying attention, love, even when you think I’m just ogling your--”

Maggie’s lips were on his before he could finish his sentence.

***

Once inside, the lovers explored the home, examining the wicker furniture in the living room, the large, mosquito net-covered four-poster bed in the bedroom, and the oversized claw-foot tub in the bathroom. For the next week they would indulge their senses and their fantasies in natural luxury.

“There’s also an outdoor shower, you know…” Robert hinted as they took the last of their things out of their suitcases. He stepped closer to Maggie and kissed her while his embrace changed to hands on a mission to remove her clothes.

“We could check it out now. There’s nothing else to do, I suppose…” She murmured and raised Robert’s t-shirt over his head.

“Well, there is one thing I’d like to do first…” He scooped Maggie into his arms and walked her to the bed.

***

The shower was a welcome experience after their indoor tryst. The open-air stall was surrounded by a dense array of trees and flowering shrubs for privacy. Two waterfall shower heads gently rained down from above, and smooth tiles in shades of blue and green made up the floor.

Maggie and Robert alternated bathing and arousing each other with lusty caresses. Being outdoors in the verdant rainforest of Costa Rica gave their togetherness a more primal edge.

“Wait here a tick,” Robert said, ending his embrace of Maggie and smoothing her hair out of her face. “There’s a present I want you to open now.”

"OK. I'll be here."

She remained under the shower head while she waited for Robert to return. She closed her eyes. By their songs, she could distinguish at least four different kinds of birds flying around. Her attention melted into the sounds of the tropical forest and she relaxed even more.

She smiled to herself. Robert knew exactly what she needed after her time away on the road. She loved the outdoors just as much as he did, and the resort was sure to make the tour a distant memory. Not that she didn’t enjoy learning several of the band’s shows were sold out, or having to spend extra time signing autographs before retreating in the van, or hearing the hearty cheers that greeted them at the clubs for after-parties. All of that went better than she imagined. But she missed Robert.

She had grown accustomed to being his live-in partner, and she needed more than the couple of nights that he was able to come to her shows. Both of their bands were finished touring and had no plans to start recording just yet, so he was looking forward to returning to Malibu and their quiet life.

"Your sexy Santa has arrived, darlin'."

Maggie opened her eyes as Robert's cheerful return interrupted her thoughts. She stepped out of the shower spray toward him.

He presented a small box, about the size of an 8-track.

"This isn't a copy of Presence, is it?"

His face screwed up in mock consternation. "I assure you it’s something new that you’ll like. Though it is a bit of a selfish present."

"Classic Robert… OK, sexy Santa, let's get this over with."

"Yes, let's. I can't wait to use it!" The side of his mouth curled into a devilish smirk.

Maggie ripped the wrapping paper off of the box.

After removing the lid, she stared at the sprig of plant that was spruced up with a red velvet bow.

“You horny devil…” Maggie was not surprised to see mistletoe lying in wait in the box.

Robert grasped it and discarded the box, held it over her, and leaned in for a kiss.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

Robert’s lips felt warm against Maggie’s, which had been cooled by the stream of water on her face. He rested his hands on her shoulders while he slowly tongued inside her mouth.

Maggie felt like she was melting as the kiss went on. Her need for Robert was heightened, along with her senses, by knowing she was outside on a balmy day with the sun rays and occasional breeze coursing over her naked skin. They had enjoyed a similar scenario at Robert’s house many times, but being at the unfamiliar vacation destination made her feel much more alive.

“Let’s head back here,” Robert said, leading her under the shower.

Robert backed Maggie against the smooth stones of the shower facade, and they kissed some more. Then his lips traveled down her chin and neck. The sensation of Robert’s hot tongue made Maggie weak.

He licked down to her breasts and held one while he licked and sucked its nipple to life. She arched against the wall and let her hands glide up and down Robert’s back, thanks to the slickness of the streaming water. “Robert, that feels so good…” Her murmur segued into a yelp when Robert tugged at her nipple with his mouth while his fingers made inflammatory contact with her throbbing clit.

After a few moments of Maggie’s bucking and wailing against his fingering, Robert gave her breasts a squeeze and then cradled her back. He moved her hair from her ear and whispered. “Turn around for me, love? I want to feel that gorgeous ass while I’m inside of you.”

Maggie could barely make contact with Robert’s lust-glazed eyes because hers were equally heavy in the heat of the moment. She kissed him one more time before turning around and arching for Robert’s entry.

Robert groaned as he connected intimately with Maggie. She moaned as his hardness teased her with a promise of powerful release.

She met his thrusting with the hungry motions of her body, milking him slowly. The water felt a little warmer, and she realized that Robert had adjusted the shower while her back was to him.

His large hands gripped her waist, and the water splashed in time with their movement. Her moans deepened as the sensations of Robert’s love continued to wear away her control.

Over time, her cries blended in perfect harmony with the birds’ songs and Robert added his groans to the environmental sounds. He gripped Maggie’s ass tighter as the tunnel vision of climax slowly descended upon him.

“Fuck, Maggie. So wet… So soft… You always take such good care of me…”

She wailed and arched more. “Your dick… So big… I love how you take me…” “Shit…” Robert was overwhelmed by the tightness of Maggie’s core. His cock was beyond sensitive.

The sensation of their beating hearts was overpowered by the primal throb of their bodies. Each caress or stroke of Robert’s sex was intoxicating, addicting. They knew it couldn’t last forever, but they desperately wished it would.

A shiver snaked its way through Maggie’s body and she tensed against the wall, eyes closed, until the full climax exploded into a long stream of exquisite pulsation. She gasped and her rapid breath flooded her body with much-needed air.

“Fuck. Fuck! I’m right behind you!” Robert announced his orgasm as his noises became wordless with the insistent coursing of his seed.

Maggie turned around and kissed him. “Robert… I’ve never been happier on Christmas. This place is amazing. You... You were amazing.”

“We were amazing,” Robert corrected. “Every time, I’m convinced more and more that our bodies were made for each other. You’re the best, love.”

Robert kissed Maggie and walked her to a blanket on the lawn near the house. They lay next to each other in cuddling bliss, warmed by the tropical sun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of my stories are here, or search for the hashtag #brownskinsugarplumlibrary.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

“Another Life” Review: Another Hour of Mine I Won’t Get Back

One of the good things about Netlix (particularly compared to traditional TV channels) is that its ability to deliver a wide variety of content simultaneously allows it to experiment with things that might not have wider appeal. This is particularly important where genre fiction is concerned, because you can’t rely on formula to develop something genuinely good in that area. Who’d have thought that a ‘cursed object’ story set exclusively in the art world where everyone talks like they’re delivering a devastating Gustav Klimt review would turn out to be one of the best horror movies of recent years? And yet Velvet Buzzsaw blew me away and gave me a reason not to give up on western culture completely. Likewise, who expected a revenge saga about classical music with (at most) one or two truly graphic scenes to be the most gut-wrenching and powerful psychological thrillers of recent years? Yet The Perfection was one of the only truly transcendent films I’ve ever had the privilege of watching. The same goes for series- it’s hard to imagine that an overwhelming blend of surreal and dystopian imagery, hard-to-grasp technological concepts, semi-obscure literary references, needlessly brutal violence, gleeful depravity, whip-smart humour and a borderline-sociopath with a Hello Kitty rucksack would ever be aired on a proper channel. Altered Carbon, however, turned out to be one of the best sci-fi series of the last decade, missing the top spot only thanks to the existence of Rick and Morty.

The reason I’ve started with all this gushing praise, however, is merely to provide context and a necessary counterbalance to the excoriating review that follows. For you see, an ability to deliver niche or experimental content can lead to abject failures as well as shining successes. For every underrated gem, there must be a meticulously-polished turd waiting to ambush the unsuspecting connoisseur. Ladies and gentlemen, Another Life is that turd.

On paper, Another Life sounds like good, solid sci-fi. A starship captain has to travel across the universe to ascertain whether an alien race that recently dropped probes on Earth is hostile or just curious. Along the way, her journey will be complicated by a crew who’s used to working under a different captain with a radically different style of leadership and all the usual, real-life-plausible dangers of travel through uncharted space (along with a few blatantly made-up ones). It’s not a terrible idea, but every bad creative decision that could be made is made and so the whole things collapses like a poorly-made soufle before the end of episode one.

For a start, let’s talk about the show’s aesthetics and visual decisions. the CG budget clearly wasn’t huge (which is fine), but the show tries to realise as many of its effects as possible using CG anyway, which stretches that minimal budget far too thin and draws attention to how artificial and contrived everything looks. For example, the decision to make the alien probes on Earth giant shimmering walls of crystal that can only be realised through CG is particularly baffling, given that they could just have been big fuck-off metal things that could have been physically built as a set. Meanwhile, the show‘s overall look is... well, bland. If you’ve seen literally any space sci-fi before, you’ve seen the individual elements of the tech in Another Life. I think it’s aiming for Archetypal, but it just looks lazy. It doesn’t help that they liberally borrow terminology from other sci-fi. I know that ‘Impulse Engine’ is technically (probably) the correct name for a slower-than-light engine that works in a particular way, but calling your space engines that just invites comparisons to Star Trek, which won’t be favourable. Back to the point, though: in addition to cribbing heavily from superior shows, Another Life also makes everything look far too smooth and clean. A spaceship is a working vehicle filled with people doing dangerous, difficult, often dirty jobs. Its interior shouldn’t look like an iPhone fucked a trendy west-end bar. Seriously, the ‘future’ set in fucking Crystal Maze looks more convincing.

The problem of everything seeming too smooth and clean extends beyond the visuals and into the casting. Practically everyone in the core cast is in their early twenties. They’re not bad actors, necessarily, but they clearly need older, more experienced hands around them to guide their performances and the absence of these more seasoned actors is felt acutely. There’s a reason why mature sci-fi shows usually cast across a broad age range- you’re asking your cast to deal with conceptual and scientific abstractions that can be challenging for people who don’t have a few performances under their belt. It also feels wildly implausible that a dangerous space-mission would feature a bunch of hormonal twenty-somethings who’s personal drama might get in the way of them making clever decisions. The main lass (whose name I’ve already forgotten), is played by a noticeably older woman. Indeed, that age difference is a big part of her character: can she win the trust and respect of the young hotheads? Unfortunately, one older actress does not a seasoned cast make. Besides, the character she’s playing just isn’t worth rooting for. It’s not that she’s a terrible person- she’s coldly aloof, but so was Picard and everyone loves that dude. It’s just that she has no depth. She has a family back on Earth, and we’re told that she’s missing them and trying to ensure the mission’s success so she can see them again, but the supposed internal conflict has no effect on her behaviour. She just goes about robotically calculating and minimising risk, even though doing so ensures that she’s going to be in space, away from her loved ones, for much, much longer. Within the narrative of the show, she’s making the correct, mature decisions, but shouldn’t they be causing her some introspective strife? No? Yes? Does this fucking show care one way or the other?

Of course, janky characters and budget set designs are kind of par for the cause with sci-fi of a certain type. Sometimes it can be endearing (the fact that the sets literally wobbled sometimes in early Doctor Who was part of its charm, for example). A much bigger problem is Another Life’s total lack of narrative logic. The main character (no I still can’t remember her name, nor be bothered to check) managed to get ten people killed the last time she was in charge of a starship. Surely that’s the point at which you politely ask someone to retire? Even if there were mitigating circumstances (which there probably were because showing fallibility in its lead is not something this show feels comfortable with), why on Earth would anyone put her in charge of a crew of emotional 20-somethings she’s never met before while their previous, trusted captain is still on the fucking ship and clearly feeling mutinous? That’s just bad management on behalf of planet Earth’s top brass. I can only hope that someone in HR got the sack for that one. Or, better yet, that a giant hammer will spontaneously fall out of the sky and hit this show’s script-writer so hard in the head that he loses control of his motor functions and bowels and is forced to retire to a convalescent home for the incontinent.

The captain’s own decision making processes are just as baffling as her bosses. There’s a bit where the crew figures out that they can get back on course and cut down on journey time by slingshotting around a slightly temperamental star using the same shielding they use when traveling at FTL (yeah- FTL space travel is a common thing in this universe, yet humans have somehow never met another alien race before- make of that what you will). They already tried to slingshot round the star once and were forced to abort and break orbit because of the strain on the ship. The plan has an 89% chance of success. The 11% chance of failure doesn’t equate to instant death or anything- logically, it just means the shield would fail and they’d have to break orbit again (because that’s what happened before: remember that we’ve already established that slingshotting around the star doesn’t do anything worse than rattle the ship and give everyone plenty of time to back off). For some reason, Captain Caution decides that the high chance of success, negligible risk of serious repercussions and massive potential benefits just aren’t good enough and vetoes the plan, thereby adding months to the voyage. Isn’t establishing whether the new, technologically superior alien neighbours are friendly or not something of a time-critical op, by the way? Naturally, the crew mutiny (under the leadership of the previous captain), try their plan and it fails miserable.

And there’s the final nail in the coffin for Another Life. It doesn’t play by its own rules. Its established that the FTL shields can’t use much power, because they’re on all the fucking time during FTL. It’s established that nothing particularly terrible happens when you try to slingshot round a star and have to abort. It’s established that combining those two facts to get a speed boost has an 89% chance of success. And yet, when the crew try it without the Captain’s express permission, bits of the ship start to explode, everything goes to shit and the vessel ends up in a decaying orbit around the sun, somehow drained of power. The show’s in such a hurry to show that it’s main character is right and correct and noble in everything she does that it forgets rules it laid down literally five minutes earlier.

The whole shoddy shebang has a weirdly patronising and conservative ethos. “Listen to your elders and official superiors”, it whispers smugly. “They always know best, even when they’re responsible for the deaths of ten or more people in the quite recent past. Don’t think for yourself. Don’t try to improve your situation. The old, safe ways of doing things are always best, even when they seem neurotic or unworkable.” It’s weird, because it’s the exact opposite problem that sci-fi normally has. Normally, sci-fi tries so hard to be forward-looking that you end up with a bunch of wide-eyed fuckwits trusting the power of friendship and love over a more measured, carefully-planned approach. Both sides of the coin are equally annoying since they involve sacrificing the internal logic of the fictional universe on the alter of Some Hack’s personal ethos. However, Another Life earns my full, unmitigated disapprobation, not just a mild slap on the wrist, because it doesn’t even bother to be a good sci-fi show before jumping into the message-mongering bullshit. Remember, all this shit is from episode one. My advice to those of you craving some hard space sci-fi is to re-watch Nightflyers instead. It’s weird as balls, well-scripted, has a properly-established set of hard sci-fi rules and there’s even a romantic subplot involving the hologramatic projection of a hideous mutant. Yeah. Go watch that instead. I think I might, too, come to think of it.

[noctem-novelle]

This February, celebrate Black History Month with Black authors!

Culture is important, whether it’s your own to celebrate or someone else’s that you can learn about and appreciate. In the last few years, we’ve seen a steady increase in people of colour, LGBT communities, non-Christian religions, and non-European cultures represented in young adult and middle-grade fiction. While this is a great improvement and definitely a step in the right direction, people of colour are still underrepresented. We can do more to make sure that authors of colour are seen and heard. The following list, while by no means exhaustive, is a selection of excellent YA and MG novels written by Black authors*. This month, take some time to explore their stories.

*This list appears in no particular order and is not intended to be read as though any one book is superior to another.

1. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (Young Adult)

When sixteen-year-old Starr Carter witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend, she must decide whether to lie low or to join the protesters who seek justice for Khalil. A touching, timely, and often raw story about a girl who finds herself when she feels most lost, it’s no wonder this book has spent more than 100 weeks on the New York Times Best Sellers list.

2. Riding Chance by Christine Kendall (Young Adult)

Based on Philadelphia’s Work to Ride program, this novel follows a young man who gets into some trouble at school and winds up doing community service at the Chamounix Stables in Fairmount Park. There, he learns to play polo, an intense sport that teaches perseverance and focus. This book really hit home for me, having spent most of my childhood at polo matches with WTR. In real life, Work to Ride provides underprivileged children and teenagers in Philadelphia with constructive extracurricular activities, peer mentorship, and even college enrollment assistance. To learn more about Work to Ride, check our their website or Facebook page!

3. Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann (Young Adult/New Adult)

Let’s talk about the amazing QPoC rep in this book! Alice, who is asexual and biromantic, is determined to spend her post-breakup summer on a tv binge. She definitely does not intend to fall for her co-worker, Takumi. Whoops. This book is a mostly-fluffy slow-burn romance, full of nerdy pop-culture references. If you remember tumblr circa 2011, this book is for you.

4. Garvey’s Choice by Nikki Grimes (Middle Grade)

Garvey’s father has always wanted him to be an athlete, but Garvey is just not interested. When his only friend convinces him to join their school chorus, Garvey finds confidence and a new way to communicate to his distant dad. Told in verse, this is a heartfelt novel about one boy’s transformation through music.

5. American Street by Ibi Zoboi (Young Adult)

In her debut novel, Ibi Zoboi draws on her experience as a Haitian immigrant to tell the story of Fabiola, a young woman whose mother is detained by U.S. Immigration when they emigrate from Port-au-Prince to Detroit. This book explores the cost of the “American dream” with a mix of family drama, romance, and a hint of magical realism.

6. The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo (Young Adult)

Xiomara feels both invisible and too visible in a world that doesn’t want to hear her but is happy to objectify her. To express herself and to find some relief from her religious mother’s strict expectations, she turns to slam poetry. This novel-in-verse includes romance, wavering faith, and feminism.

7. Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (Young Adult)

This powerful novel features a young woman who is determined to make it out of her impoverished neighbourhood. Jade’s mother taught her to take every opportunity she’s offered, so every day she takes the bus across town to a private school where there are plenty of opportunities, even if she doesn’t quite fit in. But some opportunities are less welcome than others, like the chance to join a mentorship program for “at-risk” girls. Sick of being singled out as someone who needs help, Jade hopes to find some autonomy and to stay true to herself.

8. Little & Lion by Brandy Colbert (Young Adult)

Suzette is home in Los Angeles for the summer and she isn’t sure she ever wants to go back to boarding school. Between supporting her bipolar brother, Lionel, and trying not to think about her clandestine relationship with her roommate, she’s got a pretty full plate. Unfortunately, she’s also falling for the same girl that Lionel likes. When Lionel’s mental illness sends him spiraling, Suzette must face her past to help him. This family features a blended family, Black Jewish characters, and a queer woman of colour.

9. Courage by Barbara Binns (Middle Grade)

T’Shawn has done his best to help out since his father’s death, but life gets complicated when his brother Lamont comes home from a stint in prison. T’Shawn finds peace on the diving board, and earns a scholarship to join a prestigious team at a local swim club. But when the neighbourhood crime rate starts to rise, T starts to think that he and Lamont may never put their pieces back together.

10. Monster by Walter Dean Myers (Young Adult)

A murdered drugstore clerk, a trial, and a young man in crisis. Monster is the story of Steve Harmon, amateur filmmaker and alleged murderer. To cope with the trial, Steve writes down the proceedings as if it were a film script, but as he tries to tell his own story, the truth starts to feel a little hazy. This one has also been adapted as a graphic novel.

11. All-American Boys by Jason Reynolds (Young Adult)

Rashad wasn’t stealing, but people sure seem to think he was. After he drops a bag of chips and a police officer beats him for it, Rashad is stuck in a hospital bed while the nation debates his character. Meanwhile, Quinn, a white boy who witnessed the beating, comes to learn that racism didn’t end with the Civil Rights Movement.

12. Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor (Young Adult)

Sunny is an albino girl living in Nigeria. Her skin tone often makes her an outsider, but she soon finds herself drawn into a community of magic users called Leopard People. Together with her new friends, Sunny is tasked with tracking down a killer known for maiming children.

13. The Red Pencil by Andrea Davis Pinkney (Middle Grade)

Amira is finally twelve and hopes to start school, but her life is turned upside down when the Janjaweed militia attacks her Sudanese village and her family must make the long and difficult journey to a refugee camp. Life at the camp is hard, but when an aid worker gives her a pencil and paper, Amira’s world begins to expand.

14. One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia (Middle Grade)

Delphine Gaither and her two younger sisters travel from Brooklyn to Oakland to spend the summer with a mother they barely know. Imagine their surprise when she sends them to a Black Panther summer camp. Set in 1968, this historical fiction novel explores family dynamics and the importance of sisterhood.

15. Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson (Middle Grade)

In powerfully emotional poetry, Woodson tells the story of her childhood and what it was like to grow up Black in the 1960s and 70s. This novel-in-verse won the National Book Award and the Coretta Scott King Award.

16. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor (Middle Grade)

Between the depression and threats from the night riders, the Logan family has had a tough year. Cassie doesn’t see why her family’s land is so important, but as she becomes more aware of the way their white neighbours treat them, she soon comes to understand that the family’s strength comes from having their own place in the world. This book tackles the ugly reality of racism in the deep south from the perspective of a precocious nine-year-old. It can be hard to stomach at times, but I think that just makes it more important.

17. Zora and Me by Victoria Bond & T.R. Simon (Middle Grade)

Part historical fiction and part small-town mystery, this fictional imagining of Zora Neale Hurston’s early days sees the author as a young girl, exercising her skills as a storyteller. When one of Zora’s tales seems to come true and a man winds up dead, she and her friend Carrie find that things in their little town are not as peaceful as they appear.

18. Blended by Sharon M. Draper (Middle Grade)

Every since her parents’ divorce, Isabella has felt torn in two. Two houses, two families, two races. Switching between her parents, also means switching between two different identities. How can she ever feel whole when she’s constantly split in half? This book examines the life of a biracial girl, and doesn’t shy away from addressing exoticism and the (PG) fetishisation of mixed-race people.

19. Black Enough: Stories of Being Young and Black in America edited by Ibi Zoboi (Young Adult)

This contemporary anthology delves into the many-faceted lives of Black teens in the United States. Popular authors from a wide variety of backgrounds have contributed their voices to show that being young and Black in America is not just one singular experience, but a constellation.

20. The Parker Inheritance by Varian Johnson (Middle Grade)

A hidden letter and a summer mystery are what await Candace when she pokes through an old box in the attic. With the help of her neighbour, Brandon, she deciphers the letter’s clues in the hopes of discovering a forgotten fortune. This book is perfect for readers who like a good puzzle.

[gothify1]

Red lips are tricky. They instantly make us feel like we can take on the world, or at the very least, a 9 a.m. Monday morning meeting. The caveat? All too often, formulas leave us with dehydrated, wrinkly, smeared lips hours (or even minutes) later. This cult-classic formula from Tatcha, however, doesn't. Both Amanda and I agree it's the perfect shade of red (not too blue, not too orange), lasts all day, and keeps our pouts hydrated, plump, and photo-ready—regardless of how long ago we swiped. Like a daring hue of red, matte lips can be another tricky venture, and I typically stay away thanks to how chap-prone my lips are. This is the only matte lipstick I've ever loved and the brooding brick-red hue instantly makes whatever I'm wearing look 100% chicer. My go-to pairing is a tank, dark-wash jeans, and a leather jacket. Plus, minimalists rejoice: This lippie actually doubles as a creamy blush. If you have no time or patience for daring colors or finishes when it comes to your lip game, look no further than Tarte's whimsical collection of sheer tinted balms. Though there are eight equally flattering hues to choose from, we love this perfect hit of nude that blends seamlessly into your natural lip color while flooding lips with a wash of dewy hydration. Miraculously, it lasts all day. I get that a hair product promising shine and smoothness sounds a little OTT, but trust me when I say that I pretty much refuse to go out in public without a few healthy spritzes of this new launch from R+Co. It's chock-full of health-boosting, reparative ingredients like prickly pear, baobab, and sea buckthorn, and leaves even the most parched of strands with a light fairy dusting of shimmer. Its magic works equally on all hair textures and colors, and I even love spritzing it on my chest and shoulders pre-night out. (It's just that glowy.) Between its amazing scent (think black coconut, orange blossom, sandalwood, and Pacific musk) and the radiantly shiny results it imparts, this ritualistic hair oil from beloved all-natural haircare brand Playa is everything your hair is craving this winter. And if you're one to play outdoors regardless of season, fear not—this mix acts as a natural UV protected thanks to lycopene extracted from tomatoes. We're not kidding. Typically we think of hair oils being applied after we've washed (on damp and dry strands alike), but this brilliant salve from luxe French brand Leonor Greyl targets your hair's stubborn problem areas pre-shampoo. The result: super-strong strands that boast a ridiculous ratio of gloss and luster. It also just so happens to smell like heaven in a bottle. And everyone knows that as long as your hair smells amazing, you can pretty much conquer the world. And by "Barbie skin," we mean a radiant, airbrushed finish that would make even a trash bag look chic AF. (Seriously, great skin days are just as powerful as good hair days.) For the face, we swear by this other-worldly setting powder from under-the-radar brand Stellar which keeps makeup in place without a hint of matte or flatness. (Adjectives that usually accompany the majority of setting powders we try, FYI.) Whenever Amanda wears it, I can't stop obsessing over—and complimenting—her skin. I've tried a billion body bronzers since I first discovered this iconic tube back in college, and honestly, nothing has ever compared. First of all, it smells amazing and the compliments come fast and furious whenever I've slathered myself from head to toe. Second, it instantly gifts the skin with subtle luminosity, body-blurring perks, and the most believable of glow to flatter every single skin tone. It's my best-kept secret for looking like I have flawless skin at all times. Spoiler: so not the case. Oh, and it will make you and your legs look ridiculously photogenic in photos. If you plan on showing off your legs anytime soon, it's a no-brainer outfit pairing. ICYMI, I'm a little bit of a self-tanning expert and have tried almost every formula out there. And, this new one from Bali Body is—by far—one of the very best I've ever tried. It applies amazingly smoothly, doesn't smell horrible, dries quickly, looks natural, lasts forever, and fades phenomenally. I'm obsessed and nothing makes my outfit look better than a healthy dose of color that makes me look like I just got back from, I don't know, Bali?  Whenever we're looking to update our practical yet pretty hair repertoire, we head to Emi Jay straight away. Currently, we're loving this bow moment which just so happens to be a silky-cool collab with one of the industry's most-wanted hairstylists, Chris McMillan. And since the bow sits atop the brands signature soft hair tie, you can still *adorably* wear it on your wrist for those impromptu moments when you want to let your hair down. These are pretty much the most luxurious hair ties a girl could ask for and, we confess, we love them just as much worn around our wrists as a pretty little outfit accent as we do in our hair. That said, if you're looking for the ultimate hair tie antidote that lends itself to beauty sleep and dent-less styling equally, you've found your A+ match. We love this handy variety pack that meets all your neutral color needs. Aptly named, we're obsessed with this posh velvet scrunchi from Alo Yoga—a studio-to-street hair miracle that comes in six different hues and utmost convenience. Not only do we love Aila for its amazing color choices (we're forever doting on this pearlescent shade, in particular), but it's also one of the cleanest polish brands we've come across. Nothing upgrades your outfit better than a star-studded mani, and these handy stickers from L.A. nail hot spot Olive & June make the process painless. All you have to do is peel, stick, and set with a clear topcoat. Normally we'd never want anything with a name reminiscent of dirt or grime anywhere near our nails, but this edgy hue from nontoxic brand Base Coat is the *fabulous* exception. It's a satisfactory alternative to black but is less expected than other cold-weather hues like navy, burgundy, or emerald. Plus, it makes anything you're wearing look instantly cooler, and nothing makes you look more put-together than a well-executed paint job. I kid you not—I've worn this exact glitter (it's a cult-favorite from Stila) to work and black-tie events alike. It can be dressed down to go with a leather skirt, booties, and a hoodie, or dressed up for the most sensational of fancy-schmancy affairs. Either way, your entire ensemble will look all the better. While the Stila glitter above has a slightly finer payoff, this pretty pot of poison from Lemonhead.LA is a slightly ballsier graduation. The sparkle has a heartier chunk and texture, so there's more of a head-turning moment when you use it as an addition to your outfit. Every single color and formula from the L.A.-based brand is beautiful, so you can't go wrong, but we especially like the brand's exclusive color collab with chic beauty retailer Violet Grey. It's truly the best beauty accent to pair with any other rose-gold accessories you wear on the regular. Or if both of the above feel a tad too ostentatious, both Amanda and I maintain a hot-and-heavy love affair with these creamy, dreamy eye shadows from Tom Ford. They're easy to use (we especially like shades Opale and Sphinx), provide the perfect twinkle, and never crease, or smudge. Consider these pretty little pots the perfect opportunity to dip your toe into the glitter pool without having to dive in headfirst.  Next up, fashion and beauty editors agree—you should always travel with these 18 products.

[sfarticles]

Favorite picks: Time is right to feature America’s favorite fruit From orchards to grocery aisles, apples are always close at hand

My latest column as it appears here.....

https://www.timesherald.com/2022/09/22/favorite-picks-time-is-right-to-feature-americas-favorite-fruit/

Recipes and photos courtesy of :

“Apples: 50 Tried & True Recipes,” by Julia Rutland (2020, AdventureKEEN Publications

When travelling by car, I enjoy taking “the scenic route,” especially during autumn, when the beauty of fall’s palette of colors explodes in brilliant hues of gold and orange, crimson and bronze.  Enroute, I’ve noticed that farm stands have begun displaying apples, a seasonal favorite, heaped into those tattered wooden baskets.  Supermarkets, too, have displays of many varieties, more than at other times of the year.

Apple orchards, quite often a family business, are busy this time of year, and the farmers are proud to show off and sell their crops. In the heart of winter, growers are not sitting idle, they are busy pruning and cutting off branches to allow sunlight to do its job so we can enjoy those perfect, juicy apples.

Apples are America’s favorite fruit, and apple picking is a popular autumn family activity.  What better way to embrace the season than to gather in the kitchen to prepare some dishes with the fresh “crop” the family has just picked.  It draws us to the kitchen, as we contemplate; “now what am I going to do with all of these apples?” Check out this link  https://bit.ly/3BJbUaF for 14 orchards for apple picking near Philadelphia.

Just thinking about the cinnamon aroma of an apple pie baking in the oven, is a simple, delightful pleasure, sure to awaken our senses of smell and taste.  Autumn is the time home cooks begin to experiment with new dishes, in hopes of finding something “new’ and/or “original” to prepare for the holiday season. Others find cooking and baking are activities that bring the family together, especially on a cold and rainy fall day.

Whether baked into a pie, dipped in peanut butter, or just eaten straight from the tree, apples are a tried-and-true favorite for millions of people in America and around the world.

Did you know?

• There are more than 7,500 varieties of apples

• Washington produces more than half of the apples grown in the U.S. New York, Michigan, Pennsylvania (ranked 4th), California and Virginia are also top producers

• The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture’s Apple Program represents 240 apple growers in the state.

• About one quarter of U.S.- grown apples are exported

• One gallon of apple cider is made from approximately 36 apples

• Apples are a member of the rose family.

• 25 percent of an apple’s volume is air; that’s why they float.

• The science of apple growing is called pomology

Each year, my search is on to find a new “apple” cookbook for my collection so I can experiment with new recipes and get inspiration. “Apples: 50 Tried & True Recipes,” by Julia Rutland (2020, AdventureKEEN Publications, $16.95) https://bit.ly/3dip9FK  is this year’s addition. From drinks and salads to breads, main dishes, and of course, my favorite, dessert, we’ll have some new ideas of what to do with all of those apples. Rutland writes about how to buy and store the fruit as well as what type of apples are best for different types of preparation. Her hints about ripening, and how to avoid browning, are helpful. She writes, “People love apples because the flavor connects them to loved ones and special memories. It reminds them of climbing trees, family picnics, and Grandma’s homemade pie.”

Now, it’s time to get cooking with these recipes……

For the recipe for Dutch Apple Crumble Pie, please visit https://bit.ly/3bPN6z7

Roasted Apple-Parsnip Soup

The headnote says, “Parsnips are available year-round, but they peak during fall and winter. When hit with frost, their starch converts to sugar, but many find the root a little bitter. Apples blend well and add a subtle sweetness that pairs nicely. Save a few pieces of sliced leek for garnish”.

3 large apples 1 pound parsnips 2 leeks 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 1 teaspoon salt 1⁄8 teaspoon ground white pepper 1⁄8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper 4 cups vegetable or chicken broth 1 cup heavy whipping cream Crème fraiche or sour cream

GARNISH

Slivered leeks

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Peel, core, and thickly slice apples. Peel and coarsely chop parsnips. Cut roots from leeks and halve lengthwise. Rinse well and cut into 2-inch pieces. Combine apples, parsnips, leeks, oil, salt, white pepper, and cayenne pepper in a large bowl, tossing until coated. Spread on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake 30 minutes or until apple mixture is tender and slightly browned around the edges.

Transfer apple mixture into a soup pot. Stir in broth and whipping cream. Cook over medium-low heat 20 minutes or until mixture is thoroughly heated. Puree soup with an immersion blender until smooth. Divide soup evenly into 7 cups and dollop each with crème fraiche. Garnish, if desired. Serves 7

Apple Tabbouleh Salad

The headnote says, “Bulgur is a whole-grain wheat product with a chewy texture and nutty flavor. A great gluten-free substitute for bulgur would be quinoa or rice. Cook either according to package directions and combine with remaining ingredients.”

1 cup bulgur wheat 2 cups vegetable or chicken broth ¼  cup extra-virgin olive oil ¼  cup apple cider vinegar 1 teaspoon sugar ½  teaspoon salt ¼  teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper

1 garlic clove, minced 4 radishes, trimmed and thinly sliced ½  cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley 3 green onions, minced

2 large apples, cored and chopped

Combine bulgur and broth in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer until tender, about 10 minutes. Drain any excess broth; cool to room temperature or chill.

Whisk together oil, vinegar, sugar, salt, pepper, and garlic in a large bowl. Add cooked bulgur, radishes, parsley, and green onion, tossing to coat.

Add apples to bulgur mixture, tossing to coat. Cover and chill until ready to serve. Makes 7 cups.

Ideal Apples: Golden Delicious apples work well in salads because they are less likely to brown. However, any crisp, subtly sweet apple that you enjoy eating out of hand will pair well with this salad. Also try Cripps Pink or Pink Lady®, Honeycrisp, or Gala.

Apple-Cinnamon Quick Bread

The headnote says, “The fruity streusel filling (and topping) adds sweetness and texture to this loaf that can double as a treat for afternoon tea or a simple dessert.”

2 tablespoons melted butter

½ cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1 ½  teaspoons ground cinnamon

¼  teaspoon ground allspice or ground nutmeg

2 apples

½  cup chopped walnuts

1 ½  cups all-purpose flour

1 ½  teaspoons baking powder

¼  teaspoon salt

1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature

¾  cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

½  cup half-and-half

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9×5-inch loaf pan.

Combine 2 tablespoons melted butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, and allspice in a medium bowl, stirring until well blended. Peel, core, and finely chop apples; place in bowl with brown sugar mixture. Add walnuts, stirring until blended; set aside.

Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.

Beat 1 stick butter and granulated sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla.

Add flour mixture to butter mixture, alternating with half- and-half. Pour half of batter into prepared loaf pan. Top with half of apple mixture. Pour remaining batter in loaf pan and top with remaining apple mixture.

Bake for 55 to 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 minutes; remove from pan and cool completely on a wire rack. Makes 1 (9×5-inch) loaf

Ideal Apples: Use any crisp baking apple such as Granny Smith, Jonagold, Pink Lady®, or Fuji.

Chicken-Apple Breakfast Sausage

The headnote says, “These sausage patties are lean and flavorful. Be sure to finely dice or chop the apple because large pieces may cause the patty to fall apart when cooked.”

1 small apple 1 pound lean ground chicken 1 small shallot, minced 1 large egg 2 teaspoons poultry seasoning 1 teaspoon salt ¼  teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper ¼  teaspoon ground allspice Olive oil

Peel apple, if desired; core and very finely chop. Place in a large bowl. Add chicken, shallot, egg, poultry seasoning, salt, pepper, and allspice, stirring until well blended.

Scoop sausage mixture 1⁄4 cup at a time and form into patties. Place on a plate or baking sheet; cover and refrigerate until ready to prepare.

Heat a thin layer of olive oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Cook in batches for 3 to 5 minutes on each side or until cooked through and golden brown. Makes 1 dozen.

*To bake all together, brush the tops and bottoms of patties with olive oil and place on a nonstick aluminum foil-lined baking sheet. Bake at 375° for 10 minutes on each side.

Ideal Apples: Choose an apple that remains crisp and holds its shape when cooked, such as Fuji, Jonagold, or Pippin.

Apple Butter-Bourbon Sauce

The headnote says, “Serve with bone-in chicken pieces, pork chops, or ham slices. Because the sauce contains sugar, bake or grill the meat until 10 minutes from being done. Brush all sides and continue cooking until sauce has caramelized and meat is coated.”

2 tablespoons butter 1 onion, chopped 1⁄8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1 cup unsweetened apple juice 2⁄3 cup Slow-Cooker Apple Butter (recipe below) or purchased apple butter 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

2 tablespoons bourbon

Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and red pepper flakes. Cook, stirring frequently, for 5 to 7 minutes or until onion is tender.

Stir in juice, apple butter, vinegar, and Worcestershire. Bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 30 minutes, stirring occasionally until thickened. Stir in bourbon and cook 5 minutes.  Makes 1 ½ cups.

Slow- Cooker Apple Butter

1 cup unsweetened apple juice

1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar

1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon ground cloves

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

5 pounds mixed variety of apples

Combine juice, sugars, cinnamon, salt, cloves, and vanilla in a 6-quart slow-cooker.

Peel, core, and thickly slice or chop apples and stir into juice mixture. Cook covered on low heat for 10 hours. Stir periodically, if convenient. Puree with immersion blender. If mixture is thinner than applesauce, uncover and cook on high heat until thick (mixture will thicken more once cool).

Prepare canning jars by sterilizing according to manufacturer’s directions.

Ladle apple butter into prepared jars, leaving ½ inch headspace. Remove air bubbles. Wipe rims and apply lids and rings. Process jars in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes. Remove jars from canning pot and set aside to cool to room temperature. Jars will “ping” which indicates that lids are sealed. The center of each lid will not flex up and down when pressed.

Ideal apples: McIntosh, Cortland, Fuji, Braeburn, or Rome, or choose spicier varieties like Winesap.

Stephen Fries, is a newly retired professor and coordinator of the Hospitality Management Programs at Gateway Community College, in New Haven, CT. He has been a food and culinary travel columnist for the past 14 years and is co-founder of and host of “Worth Tasting,” a culinary walking tour of downtown New Haven, CT. He is a board member of the International Association of Culinary Professionals. Stephen@stephenfries.com For more, go to stephenfries.com.

[boxyladies]

I was REALLY excited when Scentbird reached out to me and asked if we wanted to review their box on the blog not only because I’ve always had my eye on Scentbird, but I’ve also been considering getting a subscription for Matt, who has increasingly been enjoying fancy cologne. (I think it’s a direct correlation to how long he’s been with me. I tend to influence people into liking fancy, expensive things. 🙂 )

Scentbird

Price: $14.95/month ($11.21/first month!)

Box Type: Perfume (and other scented products with upgrades)

Why you’ll love it: You get to choose from over 500 authentic designer scents to try out each month! Choose your new fragrance before the 5th of each month to lock in your scent, and then it’s delivered straight to your door with a specially designed case to protect it and spritz!

How to Subscribe: Click here!

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The subscription comes with a little card that explains how Scentbird works. First it explains how the case works, which is super easy. It also lets you know how you can rate scents on the Scentbird site for more perfume recommendations, and that you must choose your new fragrance by the 5th of the month in order to lock in your scent. Scentbird also has a referral program where you can earn free products by referring friends. And finally, you can upgrade your monthly shipment with additional fragrances or even some makeup and bath and body products!

Since I received this package in PR, I got four scents, which is really awesome. They were delivered safely in a black padded envelope and each fragrance was in a little velvet bag.

The Scentbird site says that if you have a women’s subscription, you will receive the white case first, and if you have a men’s subscription, you’ll receive a black case. Every 7th shipment, you’ll receive a new case in a variety of colors. I actually happen to love the white case the most, but honestly, it’s hard to pick a favorite!

Side note: My mom got me this gold bird awhile back and how perfect is it for this blog post? Thanks, mom! I love it!

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Opening the case is really easy – you simply twist up. Then you can spritz yourself to your heart’s content! If you wanted to change out scents, you just pull the vial straight up, and conversely, you can just drop the vial in and twist down to close. Easy peasy. I also really like this container because it will make it great to put in my gym bag without me having to worry about breaking glass.

When you pull out the vials from the container, they look like this. Each fragrance is 100% authentic from the designers, which is good to know. No knock-offs here! Only the real deal. I’ll describe each of the scents I chose below.

Commodity Velvet ($105): I recently received Commodity Velvet as a sample in a Sephora order and almost immediately put the travel-size in my Sephora cart because I loved it so much. I even posted about how much I loved it via Insta Stories and the brand responded their thanks and also sent this video over, which was so nice. I don’t really receive a lot of engagement from brands so it was nice that they took the time to not only respond to my story but send me something new.

The travel-size of Commodity Velvet is $26, and the full-size is obviously over $100, so if I was subscribed to Scentbird, I’d be very pleased to have about a month’s worth of perfume for $15. The travel version of Velvet is a glass bottle and it makes me a bit nervous that it might break in my makeup bag when I’m hauling it back and forth to the gym. The Scentbird case would keep it very safe, which is nice!

https://vimeo.com/254511855

If you don’t want to watch the video, here’s how Sephora describes the scent. I think Velvet is such a beautiful scent for Fall/Winter.

Commodity Velvet is mysterious and elegant. This fragrance evokes the pure indulgence of a soft texture meeting bare skin. Its woody oriental blend is infused with roasted almond, rose petals, and black amber.

Stella McCartney Stella ($97): Stella is one of my all-time favorite scents. I have purchased several bottles of this in my life, but I’m still not ready to settle down and commit to ONE scent – especially when Commodity Velvet has taken the lead. However, I’m glad this little bottle will give me a chance to re-fall in love with Stella again! I think this is such a great scent for Fall. (And isn’t that purple case so cute? I made sure my Stella went with the purple one, because I only associate Stella with a purple bottle!)

The first scent from Stella McCartney, STELLA, is a homage to the English rose, and an effortless expression of femininity. The refined floral evokes a rose in full bloom in a traditional English garden with a sultry amber contrast. Beautiful and unapologetically feminine, STELLA’s scent composition is approachable and enduring.

Soft rosy floral top notes drive the fragrance, subtly balanced with sharp, fresh mandarin essence and light peony flower. Intensifying and elongating the opening notes, the heart is pure rose, to represent absolute femininity. Stella’s base notes give a strong, sensual finish. Resonating up through the rose accord, the masculinity of the amber contrasts the floral side, making it bold with a sensual finish.

Pinrose Wild Child ($65): This is the only scent out of the four that I had never smelled before. I have been hearing a lot about the Pinrose brand recently, so I was curious. They recently collaborated with Sephora on these beautiful holographic brushes, in addition to a set of duochrome-y lip glosses and a beautifully-packaged highlighter. I had never heard of the brand prior to the collaboration, so I was interested in to learn more. Their branding is very millennial-friendly as are their descriptions, like this one.

Unleash your inner troublemaker with flirty white flowers [Gardenia, Jasmine]. Best worn with a twinkle in your eye.

I’m glad that Scentbird carries Pinrose because I’m definitely interested in trying a few more scents from them. This one is nice, but it’s very Spring to me, and that’s not really my vibe right now, ya know? But I do love gardenias and this is a lovely scent.

Burberry My Burberry Blush ($70-$124): In the past, I bought Burberry’s My Burberry and I really enjoyed it. I’ve received a few samples of My Burberry Blush and I really enjoyed it. It has some of the same notes as My Burberry, but it definitely feels a bit more floral. This feels like a nice Spring or even just a great daytime scent. It smells very classic – like, I sort of imagine a woman executive wearing this.

My Burberry Blush steps back into a London garden as it awakens in the first light of day. Capturing the senses, blossoming flowers open with a burst of energy, while dapples of glowing light weave, twist, and turn through the flora. Created by perfumers Francis Kurkdjian and Christopher Bailey, the fragrance opens with sharp pomegranate fused with vibrant lemon. Delicate rose petal notes are lifted with crisp apple, while a base of jasmine and wisteria round off the scent for an intensely feminine touch.

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I wanted to show the Scentbird bottle side-by-side with a regular perfume sample so you can see the difference. Obviously with Scentbird, you are getting much more than a regular sample – you are getting almost as much as a rollerball, which is more expensive, and more annoying. I much prefer spraying perfume on rather than rolling it on.

[line]

Final Grade: A

While I received this Scentbird package in exchange for a review, I just fell in love with the whole concept. I’m pretty sure I am going to get a subscription for my husband because I think he would love it a lot. After I work my way a few of these perfumes, I may get my own subscription as well. I love how much product you get per vial, and I think they will each last me longer than a month. I also love the variety of brands you can choose from  – I think it’s awesome that they carry indie brands like Commodity and Glossier in addition to the big designer names. I also love the little case – It’s great that it’s an actual spray instead of a rollerball, and I love how compact and sturdy it is.

I’m definitely a big fan so far. Are you interested in subscribing to Scentbird for yourself? Definitely click here to learn more! You can always cancel at any time, which is awesome!

PR package sent in exchange for an honest review; All opinions are my own. Post contains affiliate links

Scentbird | A Perfume Subscription Box Review! I was REALLY excited when Scentbird reached out to me and asked if we wanted to review their box on the blog not only because I've always had my eye on…