#I love this character so much he’s pathetic and kind of the worst

[ghostinacardboardbox]

Pippin McKeel is a character that makes me so sad honestly and that’s kind of always true but the way the fact that Guy has said in every Stop at The Depot that’s currently on the main feed that Pip is a bad person “who doesn’t deserve nice things,” and also that time they said it in response to the idea of Pip having a romantic relationship with Candace always makes me think about the tragedy that is Pippin McKeel more than usual.

Because it’s not WRONG that Pip is a bad person. This is a man who canonically called a hit on a nine year old and this was well after meeting people that kind of force him to be better. But he doesn’t have to be like that. He can be better, he just doesn’t see the point. His tragic past made him a person who is bitter and cynical and will put himself first while simultaneously self-destructing 24/7. So the point of his character arc is healing from that and deciding that passively letting the world be shit, passively letting himself exist in misery and ignoring everything he can, isn’t what he has to do. And he’s already had a lot of character development even while still being that apathetic asshole! When at the arcane fortress and they commit to working to kill the emperor, it’s Pippin who tells Andrel that this is not how the world should be, that this can’t just be it, and somebody has to actually do something if there’s ever going to be hope of it getting better. This is literally the reverse of the argument they had about saving the hollows. Pip is a coward and a hypocrite, but he’s also capable of growth and healing and change. He can be better. We’ve seen it.

He is both a bad person and an incredibly sympathetic, tragic figure and he may not “deserve” nice things, but I want that for him. Frankly I don’t think it’s even about whether or not he deserves it, it’s that Pip would not know what to do with himself in a peaceful situation. He would literally not be able to handle being loved. He doesn’t think he deserves it, and will always sabotage himself as a result. And he makes me sad :(

[longagoitwastuesday]

Do you have favorite actors for the various roles in "Cyrano de Bergerac"? I would love to hear your thoughts!

I do! I actually rambled a lot about this while I was watching the different productions I could get my hands on (I tagged it "Cyrano de Bergerac" and "I talk too much").

My favorite productions are the one with José Ferrer and the one with Benoit Solès, and those actors make the best Cyranos in my opinion. Though that's probably something in part beyond the actors' choice, their dynamic with their respective Roxane and Christian are the best ones, I think, and I find how Cyrano moves around these two particular characters at the core of a good Cyrano characterisation.

José Ferrer's use of his voice, which is arguably Cyrano's true most characteristic feature, is unmatched imo (although McAvoy does a very good job with this too), and he manauvers very well several of the different aspects of the character, such as his playfulness, his shittiness and longing. By the end of the play you believe he is the most beautiful man on Earth. Cyrano, however, is a bit pathetic (not just in a "pathos" way), and I'd say Ferrer gives off an air full of dignity very fitting of many scenes, but that eats almost entirely this aspect of Cyrano; Benoit Solès manages this very well, while also playing well with some of the other ones, such as the playfulness, the longing, the pain and the despair. Both Ferrer and Solès are hilarious, tender, a bit shitty, vulnerable, playful and sad. Albeit neither of them portrays 100% what Cyrano is, I think both come pretty close in slightly different flavours, and by the end of the play one ends up being terribly fond of them.

My favourite Roxane is Clara Huet in the production with Benoit Solès, but Mala Powers in the 1950 film is a close second. I think they portray wonderfully Roxane's spunk, and her mix of honest playful cheerfulness and her haughtiness, her intelligence and wit, and how much like Cyrano she is.

I've not come to love for now any Christian as much as I've loved Ferrer, Solès, Huet and Powers, but again I think the Christians in the 1950 film and the Solès productions are very very good. I love the dynamic they have with their Cyranos, especially the one Christian and Cyrano have in the 1950 film, enhanced positively by the added scenes (they actually work so well in showing their developing as friends, their deep love and care for each other!). I don't want to expand too much on this to avoid spoilers (beyond the already known 'Christian dies' ones I mean), but some things they do with both these Christians are a thing of genius, and both feel vulnerable, kind, ready to fight and truly desperate at times; I like when they do that.

There's an Italian production which has a Cyrano I truly enjoy as well, despite how they dumbify him more than I usually like my Christians. His mix of anger and deep pain when he discovers Cyrano's feelings for Roxane were so well made, and his physical presence makes you identify who Christian is even before the play starts.

The Podalydès production has two different Christians. The one in the version on youtube isn't bad, but @ride-a-dromedary likes Éric Ruf a lot. I actually adore him based on the clips and gifs she's posted of him, but I haven't been able to find the version with him online, so I can't know. But he truly seems one of the best. Based on what little I've seen, I love his intense gazes and subtle gestures.

I'm not entirely sold on any Le Bret, De Guiche or Ragueneau yet.

I think the German musical has a decent Ragueneau in vibes, and the 1990 French film does as well. I found his poem made song for what I think is a Spanish production (I'm not sure if it's a fan creation based on the Spanish production), and while I've not been able to find that production online, the song works well in vibes too I think.

The German musical's Le Bret in vibes is very good. He encompasses well his deep love and worry for Cyrano while also being done with his shit. They truly feel like close friends. The 1950 film kind of combines Gaston de Castel-Jaloux and Le Bret into one character, which sadly changes Le Bret's dynamic with Cyrano a bit, but that's a very good Le Bret as well. The one in Solès' production is pretty good too. He has my favourite delivery of the scene in which Le Bret chastises Cyrano for risking his life sending letters.

De Guiche is complicated. I think productions often make him too pathetic and laughable or too bad, so bad it makes the last act kind of not make sense. The 1950 one, the 1990 French one, the Kevin Kline one and the Solès one are all good, but I am not passionate for any of them either.

And basically that's it!

[ozzgin]

Omg i love your Yandere serial killer with a split persona so much 😭😭, can you do more headcanon about him?? Like does he aware of his other persona seeing reader kinda scared to talk to him normally thank u

Yandere! Serial Killer Scenarios

Featuring the kind, quiet man who has no idea why you look at him with terror in your eyes. This time with an official character design!

Content: female reader, mentions of murder, obsessive behavior, horror, dubious/non-consent

[Main Story] | [More original works]

You only attempted to escape once.

His frequent warnings had begun to wear off, and your mind dared to wander towards hope. One day, during his evening walk, you ran to your bedroom and pulled out a train ticket you'd hidden earlier inside a drawer. The small piece of paper weighed heavy in your hand. Come, now, you scolded yourself. It was weeks of careful planning: anticipating his schedule, erasing your tracks, preparing the essentials. You could already smell the worn leather seats, and hear the jarring whistle of departure. Then you'd be far away from this maniac, all but a terrible memory to be locked away.

There was no time for hesitation. You grabbed a small bag and sped towards the station, frequently looking over your shoulder, muttering silent prayers. Once you made it to your compartment, you exhaled in relief. A relief you hadn't felt in months, washing over your body and relaxing your tense muscles. You climbed the stairs, and searched for your seat. Has someone misread their ticket? You found your spot occupied by a stranger.

"What did I tell you about running away?" his deep voice echoed across the empty hall.

The walk back home was silent. You were convinced this was your end. You'd arrive at the house, and he'd cut you into pieces. Your lips curled in a horrified grimace, mind flooded with foreign feelings: your nails plucked apart with pliers, a burning sting after each detachment. The roots of your teeth grinding and screeching within the bone of your jaw, until all that's left is a fleshy, gaping wound. Plop, plop, as each little souvenir falls into the jar.

He slammed the door shut and stared you down. You looked at the floor, but all you could see were the grimy ID cards of all the women who never made it out of this damned house. You were next.

His large hand ruffled your hair, and you glanced up in disbelief.

"This stays between us. Mother better not hear that her soon-to-be daughter in law tried to run away. Especially now that she's warmed up to you. Are we clear?"

You nodded desperately. God, how pathetic of you. But being trapped was better than rotting underground like the rest of them. You just wanted to live.

You can always tell whether it's him, or him. It's the silence. Or lack of, for that matter. He likes the quietness, the muffled ticking of the clock, the busy rattling in the kitchen, your laughs, your chatter. You'll sit together and listen to the rain, or read your books across from each other. There's no need for words, you know you can be at peace.

He likes music. When you hear the record player, you know it's your cue to perform. You exit your room - it's better if he doesn't call you down himself - and descend to the main area. The stairs creak louder, the wallpaper begins to yellow. It's almost as if the house ages with the music, and you tumble back in time.

He's been waiting for you, naturally. How's a man meant to spend his evenings, if not with his adored wife? He'll reach out for your hand, and invite you to a slow dance. Those are the worst moments. The tight, suffocating hold, his deranged stare drilling into your very soul, the whispered promises: that you're forever his, and you'll never find happiness anywhere else. He knows it. It's the same for him, really. Everything he's ever needed lies within your embrace.

Some days, the charade doesn't last long. You simply won't be in the mood to be kissed, to be stripped naked and fondled by his murderous hands. So you'll just pout and gaze ahead. It angers him terribly.

"Wretched whore. Do I look like a beggar?"

He'll shove you aside and make his way out, taking his tools with him. He hates asking for your affection and would rather take his anger out somewhere else. You know he won't hurt you, or force himself on you, which means someone else will have to pay for your disrespect. And yet, it's the only freedom you have around him - the privilege of refusing him and living to see the next day. The rest aren't as lucky. You'd rather not think too deeply about it.

My honey, I know With the dawn that you will be gone But tonight, you belong to me Just to little old me.

What a bizarre thing, to harbor such hatred towards the one you love. You've never met anyone kinder. He's thoughtful, patient, caring. He knows everything about you and lives to serve you. He's your best friend and your lover. He's the one you want to marry one day. But he's also...well...him. And you can't have one without the other.

"No, Mother, it isn't tacky," he barks at the shattered mirror, adjusting your necklace. "And you know what? It's up to (Y/N) to decide if she wants to wear your wedding jewelry."

"It's nice", you respond curtly. You look into the empty reflection and nod. He likes it when you take his side in front of Mother.

"I knew you'd agree. We're a match made in Heaven, aren't we?" he smiles and zips up the old dress. You shiver: wearing a dead woman's gown was not part of your wedding plans. The corset is tightened, and you gasp. His hands are tense.

"I know he proposed to you. And what a stupid grin you had on your face when it happened! You never act like that around me."

He doesn't call me a bitch, for starters, you think to yourself. You shuffle on the bed, trying to loosen up the garment, but he swiftly pins you down onto the mattress.

"Not that it matters. Would you like to know why?" he inquires with a familiar glimmer of jealousy in his dilated pupils. "Because I'll always be your first. You know it, I know it. He never will.

At the end of the day, you belong to me."

To compete with oneself. Nonsense. Utter madness, all of it. The house; the drawer filled with gory trophies; the nightly talks with Mother dearest, whose bones have most likely turned to dust by now; the bloodied scalpels; the embrace of a man who fills you with warmth and terror.

You're part of it now.

[hotvintagepoll]

Peter Lorre (The Maltese Falcon, Arsenic and Old Lace, Casablanca)—to me he DEFINES scrungle hes the first person i think of every time the term comes up! i want to fold him up like a paper accordion and put him in my pocket. guy that spawned a million voice artists and impersonators. they made a ghost version of him for halloween cereal staple boo berry. bewitched by his nervous mania and tooth gap <3 (for the purposes of propaganda im linking a photo from his extremely short appearance in muscle beach party bc ive been obsessed w it for years and i couldnt find any video for it :/ anyway imagine youre frankie avalon spending the whole movie battling a bodybuilder faction thats taking over your beach and your girl and then you find out this fucking guy is their mastermind mystery leader and hes stronger than all the bodybuilders combined. like Huh. What.)

Tony Randall (Lover Come Back, Pillow Talk)—he's SO TIRED he's three-wheeling ALL THE TIME on rock and doris's shenanigans and he is always SMALL. PATHETIC. INHERENTLY FILLED WITH ENNUI. i feel like all these 60s comedies are very Straight Laced and Heterosexual and yet somehow tony randall is always there having the worst day ever.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Peter Lorre

he's pretty much the archetype of the scrungly little guy. the blueprint. the example by which all other scrungly little guys are judged

The perfect sniveling character actor, “scrungly” is the first word that comes to mind when I think of him.

The entire point of his iconic role in Casablanca (apart from introducing the central plot mcguffin) was to be LITTLE and SCRUNGLY to make Bogie look even cooler. And Maggot in Corpse Bride - the littlest scrungliest guy in that film - was a parody of him.

I think Arsenic and Old Lace is his quintessential "scrungly" performance. He's so put-upon and tired...all he wants is sleep and some schnapps! I love the way his shoulders fall slowly when he thinks he's caught (he looks like a sad puppy!), only to gleefully sprint out the door when he realizes how dumb those police officers are.

Between his big eyes, wheezy laugh, short stature, and expressive faces, Peter Lorre achieved icon status as the scrungliest, littlest guy in Hollywood. His scrungly little guy energy was often contrasted with the more typical masculinity of the leading man, but whether this contrast was meant to make him seem especially sinister, comedic, or pathetic, it always left an unforgettable impression!

I'm sure somebody else has already submitted him (if not then ???) but he's a cute kind of scrungly little guy. He's got a distinctive nasal voice with an accent that is instantly recognizable and often imitated. His later horror movies are so much fun, especially when he's playing off of Vincent Price. He's so good at being unhinged, creepy, or manic, but also pathetic and sympathetic.

Classic scrungly hollywood golden age little guy who was friends with Humphrey Bogart and still played some of the wettest most sniveling characters ever committed to celluloid (complimentary) there is a deep despair and darkness in many of his characters that enhances his scrungly

To be clear, I am one of those people who will argue that Lorre is one of the most underrated film actors, but the POINT is that he's also just a scrungly delight. A delightfully pocket-sized man. Somehow endearing even when he is being actively amoral (see esp. Casablanca. "I found myself much more reasonable!") The faces he makes while doing the Russian cossack dance with a butter knife between his teeth in Silk Stockings make me laugh just thinking about them.

Wikipedia described his typical characters as "timidly devious", lots of weird little villains and evil sidekicks that are pretty horrifying but still manage to be sort of pathetic and the very definition of "poor little meow meow". His look and voice and mannerisms are so iconic they're still imitated

Cartoons for the next century have and will continue to include Peter Lorre-esque characters when needed to up the scrunge factor (see Bugs Bunny and so many more).

[editor's note on below link: I'm not actually sure how many of these characters are directly influenced by Peter Lorre, so take with a grain of salt. tw for suicide.]

The poster boy for Scrungly. Everyone who wants to draw a scrungly guy draws Peter Lorre. Gomez Addams of The Addams Family was based on him

Tony Randall

"you had everything going for you! poverty!! squalor!!!!" "girls again!!! what's this obSESSion you have with giRLS???"

[holylulusworld]

Indecent Proposal (23)

Summary: Your boyfriend wants to be part of their empire. You are the pawn he’s willing to sacrifice.

Pairing: Mobster!Stucky x fem!Reader

Characters: M'Baku

Warnings: established Stucky, caring mobsters, pregnant reader, polyamory, fluff, angst, implied character’s death, gore (blood, multiple stabbing), implied torture

Indecent Proposal (22)

Indecent Proposal masterlist

Please heed the warnings for this part!

“What do think, Alpine? Will your daddies come back soon? It’s been a few hours now,” you press the white furball to your chest. You nuzzle the cat’s head and sigh. “You’re very fluffy. No wonder Bucky likes you so much.”

Alpine allows you to place them in your lap. The cat repeatedly nuzzles your swollen belly and purrs low in its throat. “You like the babies already, huh? I bet you will love it when they grab you with their chubby hands.”

You chuckle. “Be patient, sweetie. They won’t hurt you, promised. Maybe they want to cuddle you. You’re just so…fluffy and pretty.”

Kissing the cat’s head you sniffle. “Do you think they are alright? I hope so. I can’t raise two kids knowing their daddies are…” You shake your head. “No. We don’t think about it, Y/N. Steve and Bucky promised to come back to you, and they will.”

Alpine lifts its head to look at you. The white furball meows loudly before lying back down. “You think so too, right Alpine? Soon they will be back.”

“Come on, do your worst,” Rumlow laughs in Bucky’s face. He knows this is the end, but he won’t go down crying. “I have the truth on my side.”

“You see,” Bucky presses the tip of his knife into Rumlow’s chest, drawing the first droplets of blood. “I get that you wanted to avenge the woman you loved.” He circles Rumlow, while M’Baku aims his handgun at his head to make sure Rumlow doesn’t try anything stupid.

“I would’ve done the same if anyone harmed Steve, and I did,” Bucky stops right in front of Rumlow to ram his knife into the man’s shoulder. Rumlow winces when Bucky twists the knife. “I showed mercy when she tried to get rid of my husband.”

“Mercy,” Rumlow spits in Bucky’s face. “She’s dead!”

“Yeah, because that bitch was batshit crazy!” M’Baku growls. “Bucky and I had to drag her off Steve! She was like a feral animal only because Bucky’s dick was too good.”

“Thanks, man,” Bucky laughs at M’Baku’s comment. “I appreciate your praise, but we have more important things to do right now.”

“Buck—” Steve huffs.

“What I tried to tell you is that I understand where you are coming from, Rumlow,” Bucky slides the knife back out. He watches the blood paint Rumlow’s shirt red.

“But, you didn’t go after us,” Steve rams another knife into Rumlow’s side, stabbing him twice before retracting the knife. “You tried to not only kill our wife, but our unborn children too.”

“Stop toying with that piece of shit. He’s not worth your time. Bastard tried to kill the sweet woman and her babies because his girlfriend found a better dick and went crazy.”

In the background, the rest of the men chuckle. M’Baku is not wrong. There is no use in wasting time on Rumlow and his unjustified revenge campaign.

Rumlow wheezes, he feels lightheaded. He’s close to passing out when Bucky slaps him across the face. “Don’t you dare pass out on me? You won’t get away so easily. What kind of man goes after a woman and her unborn babies?”

“A pathetic little man not getting over the fact his woman wanted something more than him,” Steve wraps his hand around Rumlow’s throat from behind. “You see, no one gets in between me, Bucky, and Y/N. Not you. Not your girl. No one.”

“You made one mistake,” Bucky twirls the knife before stabbing Rumlow’s other shoulder, “you came to our town and tried to hurt what belongs to us.”

“You don’t hurt a woman to avenge another,” Steve whispers in Rumlow’s ear as he slowly sinks his knife into Rumlow’s back. “Do you know why Bucky let her go after she tried to kill me?” He twists the knife meanly. “Because he would never hurt a woman.”

“To be fair, I killed that fake nurse,” Bucky smirks darkly. He twists the knife, earning a yelp from Rumlow. “I don’t know if it was your idea, or hers. But that one is on you. I’d never killed her if she didn’t try to kill our wife and babies.”

“Buck let’s end this,” Steve looks at his husband. He doesn’t want to drag Rumlow’s end out. “We are done here, aren’t we.”

“Not yet…”

You hear voices, and then heavy footsteps. Your heartbeat quickens and you hold your breath. Is this the moment you’ve been waiting for, or did your men’s enemies win the upper hand?

“Alpine, you punk,” Bucky curses in front of the bedroom. “Why are you wearing a diamond necklace? Hey, did you rob our wife?”

Steve chuckles while his husband fights with Alpine over the necklace. “Well, it suits the furry beast.”

“STEVIE! BUCKY!” You open the door to look at your men. Bucky is busy tugging at the necklace around Alpine’s neck while Steve watches his husband with amusement. “You’re back!”

Looking them up and down you frown. They look uninjured and are in a good mood. It seems everything went according to plan. “Why did you not call? Me and Alpine were worried sick. You missed lunch, and dinner!”

Hands on your hips you rant about missed dinners, worrying you and the poor cat, and anything in between.

“Aw, we have missed you too, Y/N,” Steve takes the chance to hug you first. His husband is still busy scolding the poor cat for stealing your necklace. “I see you found a way to kill the time.”

“Alpine kept me company. Giving the pretty kitty my diamond necklace was the least I could do. Doesn’t Alpine look good? I brushed their fur, and we watched movies together.” You hide your face in Steve’s chest, inhaling his scent deeply. “You smell good, Stevie.”

“I smell good too, baby doll,” Bucky pecks your neck. He hides that Steve and he showered and changed clothes after disposing of Rumlow’s body. “How can we make things up to you?”

You smirk. “I know a way…”

Part 24

Tags in reblog.

[dragengyrr]

Dealbreaker

I found a fic "The Last Bus Stop in Hell, Now Boarding" by @prince-liest and… well, some scenes just stuck around in my head (read: tormented my artistic brain) long enough to get me down to sketching them out. Then a few hours, a few brushes and a few different colouring experiments later, it was no longer barely a sketch, at the expense of actual lunch... Oh well.

For those who haven’t read it (spoiler free), Angel and Alastor got their bodies swapped involuntarily, and the horrendous expression on Angel’s face belongs respectfully to Alastor.

Now, bear with me, because I’ve been overthinking this scene the whole time I was drawing it – Angel made a promise to Alastor, but one that is much more of a gesture of reassurance and what-happened-will-always-remain-in-this-room kind than anything resembling actual deal. And then, mere moments later, Angel realises that helping Al AND keeping the promise is impossible, so he dismisses the fact that he even said anything, and just jumps right onto the helping part, because he knows that that’s best thing to do for a friend. But Alastor doesn’t share that view – maybe it’s a mix of trauma, shame and the loss of control over almost anything, but he doesn’t think clearly at this point – normally, he’d sooner or later agree with Angel. But not there, not then – he’d rather expect the impossible to happen, and rage when it doesn’t.

And there’s the interesting choice of words – he could’ve called Angel anything at this point, we know how rich Alastor’s vocabulary is – but the word he chose was dealbreaker. Maybe, just maybe, from a perspective of hellish overlord, a sinner that twists and turns in an attempt to get rid of their contract is nothing less than pathetic, but what if the deal was only verbal, no signing, no contract, just "trust"… There are probably no other beings in Hell that, ironically, have less trust in somebody’s WORDS than the overlords, knowing what extremes the sinners are willing to go to just to squeeze their way out of a sticky situation. Also, one can only become a dealbreaker exactly in that scenario, when nothing was set in stone.

For Alastor, dealbreaker is a knife in the back. The worst kind of liar. The very being that reminds him so painfully that trust doesn’t exist without force applied to it by a binding contract, which, if you think about it, is a paradox. Dealbreakers are the reason he distances himself from everyone.

And here’s the sugar on the cream (pun intended): Angel is only trying to HELP. What a beautiful tragedy.

To end this little overthinking session: it’s been a long while since I’ve read anything that would make me genuinely terrified, and it’s even more amazing that it began as something quite hilarious. Do mind though that the topic is HEAVY, to say the least.

I can’t say I’ve read a lot of Hazbin fics, but so far Princeliest writes Alastor probably the closest to his original character, which I love. Please, keep up the good work!

[raccoon-in-the-danger-room]

getting pissed about the love triangle again, so here are my ramblings

I hate it cause everyone's characterization gets fucked over implicitly because each of them turn into the worst versions of themselves

Jean is labeled as the slut. A dull and one-dimensional plot device to Logan's angst, an apathetic cheater to Scott's pain

Scott is labeled as the loser. A butt of the joke to Logan's "victory" (I hate even saying it cause Jean isn't a prize but thats how writers hype it up), a guy who's pathetic enough to still be there whenever Jean wants him again

Logan is labeled as the homewrecker. A man Jean "can fix" because of her psychic abilities, an absolute asshole in Scott's story

Everything about the love triangle infuriates me cause they're all such amazing characters for one thing, not to mention their relationships with one another

Like I can't stress enough how much I LOVE Jean and Scott's love. In most narratives, they were high school sweethearts. They were the first students and a part of the first team. They fell hopelessly and deeply in love with each other because how couldn't they!

They were kids tormented by how freakish they were, and each one of them held onto the other to become their anchor. Echoing sentiments like "no, you're not a freak, you're just YOU and there's nothing wrong with that."

Also, it's so cute in the very original run of xmen Scott didn't ask out Jean for AGES and ppl bullied the absolute fuck outta him for it. Cause Scott's whole thing was that he never thought he was good enough for her. But Jean waited for him. And idk what to say other than that Imma real sucker for friends to lovers and the power of being an absolute simp for your girl

As for their friendships with Logan -- it makes me so sad that it's soooooooooo overshadowed or even nonexistent cause of the love triangle

Cause Jean being there for Logan when he's dealing with his memory loss IS really sweet. If romance is taken out of the equation, I think it's such a powerful testament to their platonic love for each other. Logan allowing Jean into his mind and knowing she won't think less of him is incredibly vulnerable on his part. Jean persisting to help him because she cares about him and emphasizing he IS more man than animal is so deeply kind of her

But they shouldn't be in romantic love with each other because of this. It creates an INSANE "I love my therapist -- I mean girlfriend -- I mean Scott's girlfriend" vibe. Just...... gross dude.

As for Scott and Logan's friendship, they're so funny dude. Just a slapstick good cop, bad cop comedy duo. Eagle scout uncle that gives you genuinely good life advice and that weird uncle who smokes cigs, rides a bike, and tells you how to punch properly so you don't break your hand

They just have SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be good friends and it makes me genuinely sad that all three of them are forced into a love triangle. They're all such interesting ppl that are unique opposing or foil characters to each other

They all deserve better than to be the slut, the homewrecker, and the loser

[margareth-lv]

⛓️ When art and life become one ⛓️

I believe fairy tales have a great deal of therapeutic power. And there's nothing quite like a good story.

As I’ve written here a few times before, I first started watching Outlander in 2020 – a challenging year for us all. At that time, we all needed a good story to take our minds off reality. And to move into the catharsis that art offers. You can imagine my excitement when I realised that two actors (who were so obviously in love) playing the characters in the story were born around the same time as the characters they were playing.

James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, born on 1 May. Sam Roland Heughan, born on 30 April. Both Taurus, just like me. Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, born on 20 October. Caitríona Mary Balfe, born on 4 October. Both Libra.

And, as you might expect, in both the play and real life, she is older than he is. Isn't it wonderful how things just fall into place sometimes? There’s always something to ponder, think about and enjoy.

But it's been a while since we've seen joy in "enjoy." The Taylor Swift concert is the exception that proves the rule, here.

I'm getting tired of the low-level storytelling we've been presented with for a while now. This story is the worst of the worst. It’s a pretty poor selection of C, D, and E cinema.

And it's pretty sad how two people, who literally built their relative public recognisability on being the 'hottest couple on the screen', are now pathetically role-playing their supposed 'real love lives'. And neither of them succeeds. They're also pretty weak actors in their roles of romantic lovers (I'm thinking mainly of Sam here). Let me just say that they're not pathetic only when they're together. *** *** *** When I saw the blurry, embarrassing footage from this weekend's Giorgio Armani Tennis Classic (tagged #ad on Sam's Instagram), my first thought was that it was a spectacle for us, our Tumblr fandom. There's no one else who would be interested in something you have to look for with a magnifying glass, zooming in, spending long minutes stopping frames of film. Then I got reminded about the Wimbledon Tennis Championships back in July 2019 and another poor performances by 'bride' and her 'groom' a month before their 'wedding'.

Do you remember those pictures?

First wife, second wife, Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser and Laoghaire MacKenzie, I mean, Evie Greenwood, a primary teacher.

You know, realism and art all blend together.

We first saw this kind of kissing being reduced to sucking on the partner's upper lip in what we were forced to think was Sam’s ‘real life’, and then we saw the same thing on screen.

And what about Sam's somewhat embarrassing performance in The Couple Next Door? Which other actor in that film has exposed themselves so much (and so pointlessly), in a literal sense?

How many of us thought Sam's performance in the erotic scenes in TCND was not sexy at all, but disgusting?

I did.

Wasn't that display of Sam's rhythmically moving buttocks as distasteful as his other performance a few weeks ago?

Seriously, I would never want my husband/partner/father of my children to behave like this. There's no money worth it. But maybe there is.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I remind myself of how jealous Cait can be.

How on earth do they manage to live like that?

[3 July, 2024]

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Last post you talked about your ideal version of canon, I was wondering could you share it with us? If not, that's ok

Oh man, I could go on about my dream version of canon for ages! I've talked about various aspects of it on here with stuff like my "sugar" posts on Nino and Alya, but the broad strokes are:

Serialized story where it's basically one large narrative told in chunks

A true teams setup where Adrien, Marinette, Alya, and Nino feel like this amazing, tight friend group who grows into a found family as they get older, giving platonic and romantic love more equal billing

No guardian order, just have it be a single-person role that gets passed on from person to person

Kagami and Luka in supporting roles that have nothing to do with being love interests

Sympathetic Gabriel who feels like a truly tragic figure, but who does NOT get redeemed

Emilie gets an actual character

No sentinonsense

Revised miracle box that is way smaller and that has strong lore

The Agreste's aquiring the miraculous is far more morally complex, makes sense, and was not done for explicitly selfish reasons

Reverse the love square right from the start and never have the crushes flip

I've talked about all of these things on here, but the one thing that I've only briefly touched on is my love of a reverse square setup. I am passionate about that one, so let's take a moment to talk about why since it's probably going to be the most interesting to read.

I don't hate the canon setup for the crushes, but also I don't think that they're the ideal crushes. When it comes to romance stories, you want to design your love interests around each other. You want them to feel special and like they bring something unique to the table. Canon doesn't really give us that. There's nothing all that special about Adrien that makes him feel like the person that Marinette would be drawn to above all others. Same goes for Chat Noir and Ladybug, but we'll get to them in a second.

What is Marinette's biggest struggle? Her role as Ladybug.

Who is her main support in that role for most of the show? Chat Noir.

Who is her main support on the civilian side even before the reveal? Alya.

So why is Marinette's crush on Adrien and not Chat Noir? I don't know. It's the lesser setup by far and that goes beyond just the logic elements of who it makes the most sense for her to fall in love with. A lot of Marinette's worst behavior actually feels justified in a reverse crush setup, allowing you to write her without major changes to her character.

For example, Marinette keeping a chest of gifts for Adrien is kind of pathetic. She's friends with Adrien and she gives her friends gifts all the time, why can't she give him gifts, too? Reverse the crushes and suddenly this behavior makes perfect sense. Marinette isn't storing up gifts because of overblown fears of rejection. She's storing up gifts for legitimate fears about how her partner will explain these random gifts, thereby risking his identity, meaning that she has a sold argument for waiting until the time is right (post reveal) to give them to him.

There's also the legitimate fear that confessing her love could ruin their dynamic and put Paris at risk. Keeping her feelings to herself is now an act of self-sacrifice and not just an act of nerves. Basically everything about Marinette's hesitance just makes so much more sense if it's on the hero side.

But what about Adrien? How does this fix him?

I love the idea of our male romantic lead falling for our female lead because she's bold and brave, but it honestly doesn't fit Adrien's character. He is surrounded by powerful, confrontational women. Nathalie, Chloe, Kagami, Amilie, Audrey, and Tomoe are all no-nonsense women who get what they want. This means that Ladybug doesn't bring something unique to his life. She fits the standard mold. Adrien falling in love with her after she talks down Hawkmoth doesn't feel like the right choice for his character because it doesn't feel like something he'd be wildly impressed by.

Meanwhile, Marinette is shown to be a generally wonderful friend. She cares about others and will do what she can to make them feel welcome and accepted. That's a much more unique thing for Adrien to experience. Think about the umbrella scenes and imagine if it was Marinette apologizing. Marinette owning that she treated him poorly and asking his forgiveness. How often do you think Adrien gets moments like that? Doesn't it make more sense for something like that to make his heart flutter?

We see Marinette doing things like making banners to celebrate her friends (Timebreaker) and making sure everyone feels included (Reflekta). Imagine her giving Adrien that kind of treatment because it's just who Marinette is. She shows up to his fencing matches to cheer him on. Brings him his favorite snacks as a treat just because, surrounding this poor boy in honest, genuine love and support. Add in respect, too, and he'd be a goner because those are the things that he's not getting anywhere else! The things that make Marinette unique.

This brings us to our new civilian dynamic. In canon, it's Marinette failing to confess in ever more spectacular ways as Alya tries and fails to help. In a reverse crush setup where everyone is friends without gender barriers, it's things like Adrien coming up with his canon confessions and then watching Alya and Nino react with genuine horror because, dude, you're going to give her a panic attack! No! Bad kitty! Stop that! No confessions until you come up with a plan that we approve of and read at least five books of dating advice because holy shit did homeschooling do you dirty in this area!

Then, while Adrien is working to learn how dating works, he learns that Marinette is in love with Chat Noir and, oh no! He thinks she's into his public persona, totally unaware that she knows the real Chat Noir and loves his dorky self. So he tries to emulate his sexy alter ego while Nino and Alya suffer and Marinette is just generally confused because she doesn't think of Chat Noir like that, so she doesn't even notice what Adrien is doing.

This also adds a nice mitigating factor to Adrien's unwillingness to give up even though it's pretty clear that Marinette isn't interested in his civilian self. If he knows that she loves him, then his persistence is less concerning and more comedic. It's not that he can't take a no, it's that he honestly knows with 100% certainty that the answer is NOT no because she's told him that to his face. He just needs her to realize that the guy she's in love with is right here, ready and willing!

The potential for comedy is just so much more broad and so much less mean spirited because Marinette has none of Adrien's reserved nature, so her friends would totally know about her massive "celebrity crush". Adrien comes over for school projects and just stares longingly at her Chat Noir posters, wishing he could tell her his secret, but knowing that he can't.

In my world, that is so much more fun than canon's setup where Marinette has no reason to hope. I also wouldn't draw the crushes out anywhere near as long as canon did. I like getting couples together in the mid-game. It's a nice early plot to hook you in, but defeating the villain is the end game, so we don't need to draw the romance out that long. Romance isn't that special. It's not all that different from an arc about two characters becoming friends.

That's far from the only major change I'd make to shape canon into my ideal version, but it is the probably the change that I love the most. It's also the change that requires the least context to explain, so there you go!

[ghost-husbands]

In Defense of Charles Rowland

Under the cut because this is gonna be a long one, folks.

I'm going to begin this by saying that I have recently joined this fandom and to be fair, don't have as much experience with writing meta and all that. However, I love reading and given that meta is

discussion of fanworks of all kinds, fan work in relation to the source text, fanfiction characters and their motivation and psychology, fan behavior, or fandom itself.

I have always thoroughly enjoyed reading and attempting to write it. Now I have finished watching all the episodes of the season we currently have, and when I finished watching 1x04, I had some pretty strong emotions about what happened in there.

What happened exactly?

Well before we get into that, I want to say that I was inspired to write this because of the original writing of @pippin-katz on the same subject.

So as we know, in 1x04, the ghost husbands have a confrontation with the Night Nurse--an immortal (I think she's immortal, no?) being in charge of the Afterlife's Lost and Found Department. Why is she after them? Because Charles and Edwin are two unaccounted for spirits who are wandering the world and not where they belong. They're both technically special cases. Edwin was dragged to hell by pure accident, the victim of a demon summoning. It says something that even the demon itself apologizes to him for the technicality before he's taken down to the inferno | Charles died after an attack, of hypothermia and his own injuries. He discovers he's dead when he sees his own body and once it hits him that Edwin's going to leave, he doesn't want to stay behind to wait for Death. Frankly, he isn't ready for Death, so he says. So he decides to flee Death, just as Edwin has been since his escape from Hell.

Aside from staying with Edwin for their foreseeable eternity, Charles' motivation for staying is, according to him, the purpose he still serves...the face that he is a Dead Boy Detective who's dedicated himself to helping spirits who still have unfinished business. He's doing good here with Edwin. They are helping people. Ah, let's not forget, I almost missed the fact that when the Night Nurse arrives, Charles almost immediately puts himself between the Night Nurse and Edwin.

He's protecting Edwin as he always has and always will. He's almost bristling with fury and you can see the strength of his will in the way he's standing there, refusing to go quietly. He will fight for his purpose here, he will fight for Edwin, and he will fight for his newly found friends (Niko and Crystal watching from the sidelines now).

The Night Nurse has her job, and she's convinced that it shouldn't be a problem to simply apprehend the boys and pop off. Perhaps if she had only just, then truly, there wouldn't have been a problem. The show would have ended there and that would have been a pretty fucking pathetic end, I'd say. But she resorted to force, and I here want to begin to make my point. The exact kind of force she used and how she used it was cruel, a low blow and makes her, to a certain degree at fault for what befalls her.

What did the Night Nurse do?

Put simply, as pippin-katz points out, she made Charles relive some of his worst memories.

That's being beaten by his father.

That's being stoned by his friends and pushed into the lake where he caught hypothermia.

That's dying freezing and miserable in the attic until Edwin shows up.

If you want a thorough analysis of her actions, go look at what pippin-katz wrote, I'm going to focus on Charles here.

She twisted the knife (and we know that it is a very, very deep wound in Charles, the anger and abuse of his father--he's emotional enough over it to get caught in the murder loop at the Devlin House and it's one of the points of his breakdown in 1x04) when she showed him these moments and basically asks him, "What's the point of staying here, this is what happened to you. That's what people here do to you. You wanted to stay for this? You can't make things better (this was during his father's beating)..It didn't get better, you died. That's the point."

Please, let's not forget how much this affects Charles, the fact that his father beat him and so we might suppose, was always disappointed in him. With Crystal, Charles admits that he looks in on his parents every now and then because yes, he misses them (this coming from a 16 year old boy who despite suffering at his own father's hand obviously had, at least before he died, still the desire to please that man, and perhaps some degree of love for him) but also to be sure that his father will not hurt his mother the way the old man hurt him. He wants to protect his mother. So all of that, reliving that, is going to be very painful.

What did Charles do in this moment?

He's angry. We know that he's very physical, and we can see the way that he puts himself between Edwin and the NN as he refuses to 'come quietly' to the Afterlife. He's visibly shaken by the ordeal and rattled after he recovers from whatever the NN did to him when she made him relive his memories. She flicks her hand and basically does something that makes him collapse, and he's trying to pull himself to his feet after that.

He's so very angry, hurt.

"If you wanted me crushed, devastated, I am. I'm also bloody angry."

Looking around a bit, I asked around to get an idea of how exactly what he did could be taken in a shocking, jarring way. I'm not here to disprove anything or knock other's opinions, I just wanted to compare both sides of it. That being said, two points.

He hit a woman with that big metal device.

It's not like him to be so violent.

Those, in a nutshell, are a very brief, concise idea of why people might look at what Charles did and think, "Hm that was a bit too much. Maybe he shouldn't have done that, not in that way."

I answer with the fact that, as pippin-katz also pointed out, the Night Nurse looks like a small, older woman, otherwise defenseless (Granted, she didn't have anything to defend herself when Charles attacked). Apparently in Doom Patrol (I've never seen it and don't plan to) she looks a little less like a woman and a little more monstrous. So she's not entirely innocent here. I personally disapprove of what she chose to use against Charles (and Edwin, given that she threatened to bring up the same painful memories in Edwin's mind). I don't condone the idea of violence against a woman, that's not okay, and it was a little jarring to see. I guess I'm trying to say....I believe that Charles was right to defend against the attack initiated by the Night Nurse.

Was it laudable that he reacted so violently to her? Perhaps not, I don't think so.

Was he to blame for choosing to fight? I certainly think not.

To the second point, I can't say very much because I haven't read the comics nor do I know extensively his personality and what he would or wouldn't do. But I've gathered that, from seeing the series, he's never quite been the one to attack first, or to strike just for the hell of it. I've only ever seen him react, not initiate. I think it's understandable that he would react strongly to what has happened, and I hold that he isn't to blame for wanting to protect Edwin and their loved ones.

How did his friends react to all of this?

Edwin

Charles reels from what happened, and you can hear that he's shaken by it. You can hear it in his voice when he asks Edwin and the girls, "Why are you all looking at me like that?" Edwin steps forward and tells him it was extreme. That kind of tipped it for Charles, then, I think.

"Was it too extreme, Edwin? So was me dying at 16, mate! I don't wanna be dead. I hate it. Yet every day I'm fucking smiling 'cause who else is going to be the one holding it together, keeping spirits up? You? Are you gonna do that, huh? And for what? What good am I even doing? I couldn't stop Devlin from murdering his family over and over. I can't stop Crystal from hurting. I can't stop whatever it is that's going on with you. I can't stop anything. I sure as hell couldn't stop my dad from beating the shit out of me. No matter how good I was."

Honestly, this part broke my heart. Because Charles, earlier, said that he did this for them, to protect them. He's admitting here that he IS the one trying to hold everyone together but that (wake up call everyone) he's actually hurting too underneath all of it. But as someone pointed out to me, Charles never brought that up to Edwin because he might have considered that Edwin has spent 70 years in hell and would not have wanted to burden his friend with his own problems.

We see that Charles is falling apart here. He's questioning the good that he does, because in his eyes he sees only how he's failed "to stop" all those things, and you can note how his voice rises and breaks towards the end.

Niko and Crystal say nothing in this moment, but either later that episode or in the next one, Crystal snaps at Charles.

"You’re a sweet guy with a rage problem. You walk around acting like the sun always shines, and then you lost your shit while beating the Night Nurse. Edwin and I are walking on eggshells around you instead of just saying 'what the actual fuck?'”

That was definitely something that caught my attention because didn't she hear what Charles said up above? It just popped out at me because Charles explained why he's the one acting like the sun always shines (he needs to try and keep everyone's spirits up because if he breaks down, and Edwin were to break down because of all the shit he's been through, that coupled with Crystal's own problems with David and her personal struggles...there would be no one to pull everyone out of their darkness)

Anyway, I'm not here to bash anyone either. Back to Charles.

So in the end, he breaks down and we can see that the catalyst here (probably) is not only reliving those memories and dragging up the pain he's been carrying from all of that but also the reaction of his friends. In his mind, he did it for them. He immediately steps between the NN and Edwin, to defend Edwin. He's left questioning the good that he's doing here, the point of all of that.

To the final question of was it wrong for Charles to do what he did?

I believe he wasn't wrong. He was defending against an attack. He might have responded with too much violence but he's reacting to something that wounded him just as deeply.

So this ended up being more of an exposition of Charles and his emotional state, but I tried to make a defense of his actions. It's not perfect, and I'm not out to prove any sort of point, just expressing thoughts because I too had a strong reaction to that episode.

Nonetheless Charles remains my favorite.

[iamnmbr3]

Great answers! I do love the idea of Sirius as DADA teacher!

Here's another one for you: rank these characters from worst to best for the post of Minister of Magic

Albus Dumbledore

Lucius Malfoy

Sirius Black (again cause I love him and I read a fic about this once)

Minerva McGonagall

Barty Crouch Sr.

oh god. these clowns would all be such terrible minsters of magic. why are you doing this to me? ok fine. here goes.

Lucius Malfoy: I think because movie!Lucius was sort of toned down and defanged fandom sometimes forget what a nasty piece of work book!Lucius was before he had his downfall and got all sad and pathetic. Fanon!Lucius often gets turned into kind of a joke but book!Lucius was out there torturing muggles for fun by night while he had the ear of the Minister by day and was, seemingly, extremely adept at subtly spreading his pureblood supremacist agenda in government. (Honestly, better at it than Tom because unlike Tom he actually cared). Also in book 4 it's very clear that if he had gotten hold of Hermione - a fourteen year old child - on the World Cup grounds he would've attacked her without hesitation (been eager for it, in fact). Yeah he wasn't down with Voldemort's whole thing but that was more because of the effect it had on him personally. with Voldemort out of the picture he was top dog and he was doing just fine. All this to say, as Minister the policies he enacts are...not good to say the least. He'd be out there building a violent pureblood supremacist dictatorship in a heartbeat.

Albus Dumbledore: Albus says he can't be trusted with the power of being Minister and honestly...I believe him. He'd still play the same messed up manipulation games he plays in canon but on a much larger scale (while simultaneously feeling bad about it and telling himself it's for the greater good). He does some truly epic mental gymnastics to convince himself he needs to make himself dictator for life and then things spiral because obviously anyone who resists him is evil right? Right? Of course! The alternative is that he is wrong and he doesn't want to think about that. Also, he doesn't seem that bothered by house elf slavery and his ideas for getting nonhuman magical creatures on his side in canon seemed to involve asking nicely but not actually granting them rights. So I'm not super optimistic on that front. So yeah. This just turns into the whole of wizarding Britain getting gaslit and thrown into insane situations by a madman who seems so wholesome and lovable and yet... Also. Given how poorly organized the Order is I think it's safe to say that all other flaws aside, the man does not have a gift for management.

Barty Crouch Sr.: Listen. He ALSO sucks. Very clearly ok with slavery, not a fan of due process, and allowed Aurors to torture confessions out of suspects. His only saving grace is that he does love rules so he'd probably eventually step down and wouldn't make as many potentially damaging changes as Dumbledore.

Minerva McGonagall: Her no nonsense attitude ensures that any meeting she runs actually accomplishes things. She's smart. She's sane. She's stable. She doesn't care about ending slavery or changing the status quo, but she's a lot better than most of the options. She's not especially creative or good at political games though which often hampers her ability to carry out objectives and prevent bad actors (i.e. Lucius and his faction) from getting their way.

Sirius Black: What does the man who hates authority do when he finds himself in a position of ultimate authority? I don't know but I'd love to read about it! Sirius is actually pretty shrewd (contrary to fanon) and I think he'd actually turn out to be a natural at handling politics (much as he might hate it). He also understands traditional pureblood society (he is a Black after all) but he doesn't idolize it (he hates being a Black) which would allow him to understand and work with multiple factions. Additionally he can be forceful and authoritative. He's impatient, often biased and unfair, sometimes quite cruel, can be temperamental, and again, has 0 problem with slavery. So like. He's not good per say, but he's actually better than some of the others. (At least with him meetings are never dull because if he gets bored enough he just turns into a dog and eats the agenda).

[monakisu]

How did the cat tank arc make you like torisai?? Isn't that the chapter where Toritsuka literally betrays him and doesn't believe in him at all, until Saiki shows how unconditionally kind he is despite the betrayal?? And then he still says he has a shitty personality afterward...

TOXIC YAOI BABY!!!! 

saiki will diss toritsuka as much as he wants, will drone over and over how the author should just go ahead and kill off what's obviously deadweight—yet when the chance for precisely that comes, he still risks life and limb to keep this nuisance safe... and toritsuka will whine and whinge abt saiki-san's hardass rules but he still thinks of him as a god?? "our god has returned!!"—i think that's what he cheered when saiki's powers came back, lol? he clearly worships saiki as some super powerful entity/deity, yet he still has the audacity to beg him for dumbass pervert favors... i've never witnessed this breed of worshipper before... fascinating specimen. 

their relationship has a sort of an "enemies to lovers" flavor, except in this case it's more like "haters to enemies to haters again with a tad bit more understanding for each other". at this point, toritsuka mayyy be saiki's closest confidant? arguably the one who knows saiki the best! (subconsciously. he's too dumb to consciously realize it.) he'll likely be one of the first people saiki turns to whenever he needs help, which sucks because toritsuka is sorta useless, power and personality-wise HAHAHA

also toritsuka is probably the only (non-familial) person saiki is so flat-out MEAN to! it's hilarious!! yknow how romantic partners are supposed to bring the best out of each other? Not Happening Here. in the slimy presence of toritsuka, saiki is at his most honest but also his worst. toritsuka is the antithesis to the emotional support puppies zookeepers will pair anxious cheetahs with; he's more like........................

lice.

yeah. he's the lice in saiki's fur. plainly speaking, he's a pest!!!

also toritsuka's betrayal was sorta necessary in my opinion, because this guy's too damn dumb to learn a lesson the normal way. he absolutely needs to be put into Situations in order to walk away with at least a teeny tiny sliver of character growth. and i definitely credit a huge part of his betrayal to kusuke's psychological warfare. pitting a super-human cambridge genius against a sub-human highschool dumbass... poor, pathetic toritsuka never stood a chance!! still, the resentment he'd been harboring definitely also contributed to his backstabbing. howeveeer, now that he's seen firsthand saiki's affection for him, that resentment has vanished! he's been shaken to his core!! the worship has been amplified to the MAX!!!

lastly, i just think it's hopelessly hideously HYSTERICAL to have the world's worst womanizer fall in love with a man!! and have the world's most sexless guy fall in love with a future sex offender!!! they're so fundamentally incompatible it loops back around to being compatible?! it's a real comedy. tragedy. tragicomedy. (saiki and toritsuka would doubtlessly view it as a tragedy)

lastly-lastly: height difference. that is all.

thanks sending for this ask! it let me think (<< very rare) and put into words why i actually like torisai besides "hehehe hater x hater". writing all of this made me like it even more!! but i think this may have made you despise it more? oops. my tastes are strange and off-putting. i mean, kusuke is literally my favorite saiki character, after saiki himself... that's gotta tell you something.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I am so happy you're back and seem to be doing even a little bit better! We missed you!

I wanted to send a little message, so you can ignore it if it sours your mood or you don't feel like dealing with it, feel no pressure at all! It's just this blog has been a safe space and the community has been so welcoming that I figured I could vent really quick

You know when sometimes the brain just has a really shitty day, like when you draw something and it screams at you that it's trash even though there's nothing wrong with it? I've been having a rough time with it deciding to scream that comfort characters would cheat, probably as an 'You are so unlovable not even fictional characters would be loyal' bullshit. Now, logically, I know this makes -67 sense. But, I was wondering if you could just reassure that like, Sanji, Mihawk, Buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Blablablablabla long list of One Piece characters you write for, would not cheat? I'm sorry, this sounds lame to even write out but I'm trying to get my brain to stop thinking that asking for help is 'pathetic' because it is not and it only applies that logic to me, never to anyone else.

I dunno man. Brains and bring human ate both though af.

I missed all of you as well. Really and sincerely. I have a tendency to go radio silent when I'm going through a difficult time and I hate it immensely, but hearing that I was missed to makes me all

And yes, oh gods, I know. My brain is frequently my worst enemy. Especially when I'm not writing. My anxiety starts working overtime and my creative drive becomes dedicated to coming up with problems that could potentially happen for me to worry about even more and it's an absolute bitch; or even when I am actively creating and a little voice insists that everything I make is stupid garbage.

This is still very much and always will be a safe space. It definitely is awful to feel that unworthy of love. Full disclosure, I've mentioned in passing before that I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type. My main issue is auditory hallucinations that like to insist that everyone I love and care about only tolerate me out of pity and secretly would rather I not be around, which leads to me isolating myself from people. Huge part of the reason I go silent when life decides to be a bitch. I know it's just as bad feeling that way about comfort characters, if not even worse, when we're supposed to have them to help us get through that kind of bullshit.

So let me provide a little drabble for the one comfort character I’m certain wouldn’t ever allow us to continue being so silly about our worthiness of love and affection, because we’re all worthy of such a basic human need. I may do more later, but one in particular jumped at the opportunity to provide this comfort, and I fear he may counter me with his dreaded puppy-dog-eyes should I even dare attempt to wait.

Good Enough

OPLA!Sanji x AFAB!Reader

Lil drabble thingy

SFW, Hurt/Comfort

Possible TRIGGER WARNINGS for depression, insecurity, self-worth

♫♬ Moonshine ♬♫ — The Fratellis (yes I’m STILL on my Fratellis BS leave me be)

"Never knowing is the most evil feeling, when every answer here is none too appealing"

Sanji had always been a flirt. You knew that from the moment you started working on the wait staff at Baratie. Your trust issues had made it a little difficult for you to open up around the young sous chef (and occasional waiter on the frequent occasion that Zeff kicked him out of the kitchen for insubordination), but it was his outgoing nature and perseverance that had ultimately won you over. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only girl in the world when you were together, doting upon you, all but worshipping the ground you walked on.

But when he was sent out to work the dining area, it always made you nervous. His innate charm, his handsome features—he was nearly always a hit with female customers. No matter how much you told yourself that he was only doing his job, there was always a nagging feeling that maybe there was more to it than that. Watching him interact with a table of pretty young women, who by their clothing and demeanor were obviously far more affluent and sophisticated than you, left you distracted in your own work.

Seeing how they giggled at everything he said, how they fluttered their eyelashes when he brought them their drinks.

How the pretty blonde at the table leaned so close to him while he pointed to something on the menu, close enough to brush her hand across his.

You managed to spill a tray of drinks all over yourself while you were watching, leading to a scolding from the front of house manager. You saw the table of girls from the corner of your eye, giggling at your clumsiness before you were sent off to clean yourself up and change your uniform.

No matter how much you told yourself you were being silly, there was nothing you could do to shake it. The doubts, the thoughts of how easily he could find someone better than you. You had your jaw clenched the entire time you were changing your shirt in the staff restroom, tossing the soiled one aside as you leaned against the sink in front of the mirror and forced yourself to take slow, level breaths.

You were still on the clock. You couldn’t break down. You had to get changed, had to get back to work, had to pretend everything was fine, if he found out you were being so stupid about this then he would definitely drop you like a bad habit, you had to compose yourself or—

Knock knock.

Your eyes darted to the bathroom door, your breath catching in your throat at the sound of the light knock.

“J—just a minute,” you forced out, flinching at the sound of your own voice breaking a little.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, stop it stop it stop it—

A brief silence followed your answer, a silence that seemed to stretch on for miles despite lasting only a few seconds. The familiar, gentle voice that answered after a moment made your hands clench around the porcelain of the sink.

“You alright, love?” You drew in a sharp breath, swallowing, clenching your eyes shut. Of course it was Sanji. You had almost hoped that the manager had come scold you for taking too long. That would have been easier to deal with right now. Your eyes darted to the locked doorknob as it rattled a little. “I heard—”

“I’m fine,” you said immediately, the strained quality of your own words as they met your ears making your hands tighten a little more on the edge of the sink. “I—I just tripped and spilled a few drinks, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” You gritted your teeth, laying your head back to stare up at the ceiling. Of course he wouldn’t let it go that easily. The doorknob rattled a little again, and you glanced at it as if it were a viper poised to strike out at you at any second.

Stupid, you’re being stupid, don’t—

“You sound—”

You reached out and turned the lock on the doorknob, and turned away from the door, crossing your arms over your half-buttoned shirt and stared down at your feet. After a long moment, you heard the door open behind you.

Evidently you didn’t look any less distressed than you felt. His quiet sigh met your ear as the door shut lightly and the lock turned. “Oh, love, it’s fine,” he said gently, his footfalls echoing quietly in the small bathroom, closing the short distance across the tile floor between the two of you. Your whole body tensed as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his forehead over the crown of your hair with a quiet chuckle. “It’s only a few drinks, it could happen to anyone.”

You shook your head, your shoulders shaking a little. Stupid, it was so stupid, but the words were already leaving your mouth before you could stop them. “Oh, yeah, anyone.” You couldn’t stop. You couldn’t. He had a way of pulling all your insecurities to the surface that no one else did. You pulled your crossed arms tighter, staring down at the white floor tiles for a moment before shutting your eyes tightly, your voice shaking a little. “Especially a dumb screw-up like me—”

“Don’t do that.” His tone came out a little sharper with this, and your breath hitched audibly in your throat this time, your shoulders hunching as you clenched your eyes shut tighter, swallowing back the lump in your throat. As if to counter your stiff posture, he pulled his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer, his thumb rubbing lightly against your waist in a comforting manner. “Don’t, sweetheart. Please.”

The warmth of his embrace already had you relaxing a little. Your shoulders slumped, your body leaning back against him, but your eyes were still burning when you opened them to stare down at the toes of your shoes.

“Was it the manager?” he asked gently, shifting behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder. “If he was being an ass I’ll gladly kick his ass off the docks.” Your breath left your lungs in a slow, trembling sigh as you shook your head no, your gaze drifting down to his hand at your hip, still rubbing lightly against you, your lips curling into a fleeting smile at his offer. You knew you were being stupid, but… “Then what’s wrong, love?” he asked, his voice a soft, comforting murmur in your ear.

“I…” You drew in a deep breath, closing your eyes as he tilted his head so his cheek lay against your shoulder. “Y—you—“

You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat, drawing in a deep breath, trying and failing to steady the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, thoughts of how maybe this was all a lie, of how you weren’t anything more than a silly little fling to him, how you weren’t good enough, how easily you could be replaced.

You bit your lip, glancing down as his hand found yours, watching his fingers lace between your own…and the breath left you in a slow, resigned sigh.

“It’s stupid,” you said quietly.

“If it’s got you this upset, then it’s anything but stupid,” he countered, and you had to purse your lips tightly to keep them from curving into a small smile as you felt his press briefly against your cheek in a soft kiss. “And if it’s something I’ve done—”

“N—no, you haven’t—” But how quickly you shook your head, how your shoulders tensed, betrayed your worries. “I…I just…” You slowly relaxed once more as he squeezed you against him, his cheek nuzzling against your shoulder, his soft blonde hair tickling against your neck. Still unable to turn your head to meet his eyes, you bit the bullet and forced yourself to voice your worries. “You have beautiful women making goo-goo eyes at you all day,” you said, keeping your voice low in an attempt to keep it steady. “I—I don’t—I’m not—” You bit your lip, your heart racing as you clenched your eyes shut, cursing yourself internally as you felt the tickle of a tear leaving your eye to trail down one of your cheeks. “Y-you could have any girl you wanted. L—like that blonde that was hanging all over you while you were showing her the menu, or—or—”

“Oh, sweetheart…” You weren’t quite able to mask the small sob that hitched in your chest as Sanji loosened his embrace—only to gently place a hand on your hip, guiding you to turn around and face him, to pull you against his chest as you tried and failed to fight back tears. He gently shushed your quiet sobs and stammered apologies as he wrapped his arms around you fully, combing his fingers through your hair as he laid his head over yours. Your eyes remained clenched shut as you fought to control your breathing , as he pressed a tender, lingering kiss to your forehead.

Sanji lowered his head and nuzzled into your hair, holding you flush against him.

“I already have the girl I want. The perfect girl.” He pressed another tender kiss to your temple, murmuring against your skin, “I have her right here in my arms. And I hope,” he said, his tone turning a little playful as he shifted to rest his forehead against yours, “that I’ll still have her tonight after dinner shift is over.” He brushed your hair behind your ear, smiling as he tilted his head to meet your gaze, puling a small smile to your lips as your cheeks grew a little warmer. “So we can cuddle up together on the balcony…watch the stars…laugh at all the drunk idiots stumbling back to their boats…”

You could practically hear him smiling as a few soft giggles escaped you, as you finally leaned fully against him and returned his embrace, your arms wrapping around his torso as you buried your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, relaxing against him. “I…I’m just…”

“I know, love.” The way he called you ‘love’ all but melted your heart now that you were calmed down, pulling a faint smile to your lips. “I know. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. And if it’s any consolation, I was in the middle of telling that self-righteous blonde bimbo how my sweet, adorable, beautiful girlfriend would wring her neck if she kept putting her hands on me—“ He chuckled as you whined in protest of his praise, tugging you closer and grinning, meeting your eyes without hesitation.

He lifted his hand to your face, his thumb brushing across your cheek, the warmth of his gaze holding yours.

“I—“

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

You both jolted in alarm, your heads turning in unison toward the sound of the pounding on the bathroom door. Before you could so much as glance at each other, a gruff voice spoke up from behind the door.

“We’re in the weeds, Eggplant!” Zeff called . “Get your scrawny ass to the kitchen! And bring your damned girlfriend, we need all the help we can get.”

A long moment of silence stretched between the two of you as you both stared at the closed bathroom door, before your gazes drifted slowly toward each other.

Before you were both giggling under your breath, as you buried your forehead against his chest, a broad smile spreading across your lips as you clung to him.

“I suppose we’ve been summoned,” said Sanji, pulling back from you only enough to gaze down at you, still smiling. “Shall we, then?”

[elysiaheaven]

Hhhii this is a request for angst, Ronin & Far beyond help user (interpret as you will)

Words:

Genre: Yandere

Summary: The so-called devil realized what he did.

( Reader is a g.n!)

TW: Obsessive behaviour, , Distorted Love, Dark Humor, Depictions of despair, hopelessness, and emotional trauma., codependent relationships, Suicidal Ideation

EXTRA: He's a character from a game named Killer chat! Please play it! It's so good! I think I need to do more research on him, If what I wrote doesn't really scream him! I'm sorry! I'm still learning abt him! I KNOW IT'S BAD I'M SORRYY!!

"Don’t look at me like that."

His voice is sharp—brutal—but the tremor in it, the way his hands clench into fists, tells a different story. He stands over you, taller than life but somehow crumbling. Plum-colored hair falls messily over his eyes, his lips curled into a mocking smile, the kind he knows you hate.

You sit there on the grimy floor, knees tucked to your chest, watching him like you always do: love-drunk, ruined, and so stupidly loyal it makes his chest ache. It’s pathetic. You’re pathetic. And worse, you were meant to be Ther...

Not the whole of them—the good parts are gone, long obliterated by whatever this is. There’s only the rotten pieces now, jagged remnants wrapped in desperate love. That kind of love… the kind that consumes. It’s wrong. It makes him want to run.

He shifts his weight and accidentally over the coffee cup on the floor. It clatters, liquid spilling out like guts. He doesn’t flinch, even as the brown stain spreads to where you sit, inches away from soaking into your clothes.

Good. Let it drown you. Let it stain everything.

SO, you want to kill him now right!!!

"You're so fucking predictable." His voice drips with venom, as if each word is a scalpel slicing through your chest. He wants you to feel this, to hate him. He wants to become the monster you have no choice but to destroy. "What, still gonna sit there? Still gonna look at me like I’m some kind of savior? Jesus Christ, how thick are you?"

Your lip trembles, and he nearly falters. Nearly. But Ronin’s never been one to falter, especially not now, when the stakes are so damn high. He has to make you let go—make you hate him, make you kill him if that’s what it takes.

Because he knows you won’t leave. You’re too far gone, too hopelessly tangled in the wreckage of him to pull yourself free. And he can’t carry that weight—not after Ther. Not again.

But you? You still stare up at him with those wide, ruined eyes, so full of love it makes him sick. How dare you love him like that? He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t even want it. And yet, here you are—offering every broken piece of yourself like a gift, like it’ll save either of you. It won’t.

"You love me, huh?" His voice drops, dangerously low, as he crouches in front of you, close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath. "You love me so much it hurts, right? Is that it?" He smiles, cold and sharp. "You love me so much you’d die for me."

You nod—pathetically, desperately—like a marionette tangled in your own strings. It’s all you know how to do: love him, despite the way it breaks you.

"Then fucking kill me," he snarls, grabbing your jaw and forcing you to meet his gaze. “If you love me so much, then do it.”

His fingers dig into your skin, but his eyes—his damn eyes—are the worst part. Because they’re not cruel. They’re not full of hate. No, what’s staring back at you is something far more dangerous: a man trying to let go of you before it destroys you both.

But you won’t. You can’t.

"I can’t—" you whisper, voice trembling as tears spill down your cheeks.

He clicks his tongue, a sneer curling across his lips, masking the frustration tearing him apart inside. Why won’t you fucking hate him? He needs you to hate him, to push him away. If you don’t, he’ll ruin you.

"You’re pathetic," he spits, standing up again. "You’re not Ther." The words taste like poison. "And you never will be."

Your heart shatters at that, and he knows it. He knows exactly how to break you, and he’s doing it—because it’s the only way to save you from himself.

You choke on a sob, but still—still—you reach for him. You’re so far gone that not even this is enough.

"You can hurt me," you whisper. "I don’t care. I’ll still love you."

No.

No, no, no. It’s not supposed to go like this. You’re supposed to scream at him, curse him, kill him. But instead, you look at him like he’s worth saving, and it makes something inside him snap.

"You fucking idiot," he mutters, dragging a hand down his face. His voice cracks—not from anger, but from something far worse. Regret.

"Stop it." His voice is weaker now, almost pleading. "Stop loving me." He’s doing this for you—can’t you see that? He’s trying to set you free, to give you a reason to walk away.

But you won’t.

And that’s the tragedy.

With a sigh that feels more like a surrender, Ronin turns away from you, shoulders slumped. He’s lost this battle. He can’t save you from himself—and worse, he can’t save himself from you.

"If you won’t kill me," he murmurs, voice empty now, "then don’t complain when I drag you to hell with me."

Because that’s all that’s left for the two of you, isn’t it? You love him too much to leave, and he’s too broken to let you go.

So he’ll do what he does best—corrupt, destroy, and ruin.

And you?

You’ll love him for it.

You cry out, voice breaking as you plead, "Don’t leave me!" The words tumble from your lips, raw and desperate, wrapping around him like chains. Hopelessness seeps into every fiber of your being, a thick fog clouding your mind. You’re shattered, yes, but you’re not ready to let go—not of him, not of this twisted, dark love that binds you together.

"I don’t care, Ronin! I won’t kill you!" The insistence in your voice surprises even you. But it’s true. You won’t. You can’t.

You shake your head violently, wiping the tears from your cheeks, determined not to let him see how much he affects you. You won’t give him that satisfaction. “You think I want to hate you? You think that’s going to make this any easier?”

He laughs, a hollow sound that echoes in the cramped room. “You don’t get it, do you?” The disdain in his tone feels like a punch to the gut, but it doesn’t stop you.

“I’m already lost, Ronin! I’m not going to follow you into hell. I’m already there.” The truth spills from you like blood from a wound—too much, too fast, too painful. But you can’t hold it back anymore.

Ronin watches you, a strange mixture of anger and something softer simmering beneath the surface. He sees you broken, begging for a shred of hope in this dark place you both inhabit. It’s disgusting to him—pathetic. And yet, somehow, he can’t tear his eyes away.

"You think it’s a game?" His voice lowers, dripping with sarcasm. “You think I enjoy this? Watching you break and still cling to me?” He takes a step closer, and the heat radiating from him feels like a fire, burning through the haze of despair.

But you don’t flinch. You refuse to back down. "No, I think you’re scared." The words hang between you, heavy and suffocating. “Scared of what you are. Scared of what I am without you.”

The moment hangs, electric and thick. He glances away, and you see the brief flicker of vulnerability in his eyes before he masks it with that trademark devil-may-care smirk. That’s when it hits you—the first time you saw him.

Back then, he was all shadows and chaos, and you were so… pure. Funny, flirtatious, chaotic in the best ways. You’d made him laugh, dragged him into your whirlwind of life, reminding him of what it felt like to be alive. And for a fleeting moment, he thought maybe—just maybe—Ther had come back.

But now he knows, standing here in the dim light with you at his feet, that you’re not Ther. You’re not supposed to be. Ther was a distant memory, a flicker of something beautiful and untouchable. And what remains now is a twisted reflection, an echo of the past, warped and distorted.

“You were like a light,” he mutters, voice thick with something unnameable. “Bright and reckless, and I…” He stops, staring at you as if you’re some kind of puzzle he can’t solve. “I thought you were them.”

His honesty cuts through the tension, revealing the jagged edges of his heart. He knows he can’t keep pretending anymore—he can’t keep dragging you down this path with him. “But that’s not you. You’re not them. You never were.”

“Then who am I?” you whisper, the anguish in your voice palpable. You reach for him again, fingers brushing against his arm, desperate to anchor him to this moment, to you. “What do you want me to be, Ronin? I just want you! I don’t care if I’m broken! I don’t care if I’m not enough!”

He recoils slightly, the impact of your words hitting him like a blow. “You don’t get it. I’m the devil now, and I won’t let you follow me to hell.” But even as he says it, he can feel the truth slipping through his fingers. You’re right there—too close, too beautiful in your brokenness.

“You think I want to let you go?” His voice is a hiss, low and dangerous. “You think I want to lose you like I lost her?” He shakes his head, rage boiling beneath the surface. “You’re the one who’s delusional!”

But the moment you see that flicker of pain in his eyes, your heart shatters all over again. You don’t want to hate him. You want him to see the good in you, the potential. You want to save him.

“I’m not delusional! I’m hopeless!” The words pour from you in a flood. “I’m hopelessly in love with you, Ronin! Even if it means following you into hell, I’ll do it!”

His expression shifts, a mixture of fury and something akin to grief. “You think I want that for you? I want you to hate me! I want you to find your way out of this mess!”

But you refuse. You refuse to hate him. You refuse to let go of the love that has become your lifeline.

“Then stop pushing me away! Stop pretending you’re the devil!” You grab his shirt, pulling him closer until he’s almost on his knees before you, and the distance between you evaporates. “You’re not the devil, Ronin. You’re just… lost. Just like me.”

His breath hitches, and for a split second, you see the man he used to be—the man who laughed, the man who cared, the man who could’ve loved you freely. But that man is buried under layers of self-loathing and pain, and he’s terrified of letting you see the truth.

“If I let you in,” he murmurs, eyes narrowing, “I’ll ruin you. "

BUT!!!

“I won’t leave you,” he sneered, a wicked grin spreading across his face. He knew the posturing was ridiculous—utterly absurd, really—but what was the point of doing anything else? Why not lean into it? He wanted to get a rise out of you, to make you feel every jagged edge of his dark humor. After all, this was the role he had carved out for himself.

“Darlin’,” he continued, his voice dripping with mockery, “I have to act this way. What else would you expect from the devil?” He leaned in closer, eyes gleaming with mischief, teasing the precipice of madness that lay between you.

“I’ll kill you, and I’ll kill myself. Together, we’ll become the beautiful tragedy we were always meant to be!” The laughter that escaped him was hollow, echoing in the empty space around you. How twisted, how perfectly poetic.

He could see it now, the two of you wrapped in darkness, a perfect duet of chaos and despair. It thrilled him. You were broken in all the right ways, and he loved you for it.

But beneath that exhilaration, something darker lurked—fear. Fear that he would be left alone in this twisted game he played. Fear that you would find a way out and leave him to rot in his own choices.

“You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart,” he whispered, the playful tone melting into something more sincere, more desperate. “You need me. We need each other.”

He took a step back, surveying you, the corrupted flower blooming in the shadows. He had nurtured this monstrosity, and now it had blossomed into something beautiful and grotesque.

“I’ll drag you down with me, whether you want it or not. Because that’s what love is, isn’t it? Suffering together?” His laughter broke through the tension, dark and mocking. “It’s tragic and beautiful, like a twisted fairy tale where the prince turns into a monster and the princess… well, she gets devoured too.”

He couldn’t help but revel in the madness of it all. You were his creation, his reflection in a shattered mirror. The darkness had intertwined your souls, binding you together in a way that made him feel alive, despite everything.

“Every path I take will lead to suffering. That’s the responsibility I have now,” he mused, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall, watching you with a predatory gaze. “It’s the burden of being the devil, after all. But hey, at least we’ll have some fun along the way!”

What a mess we are, he thought, grinning wider. “So, are you ready to dance with the devil, darling? Or are we going to keep pretending this isn’t what we both want?”

He never would’ve imagined that pure, kind you could turn into such a monster. It was as if a cute little dog had suddenly morphed into a beast, hunting for blood. That twisted excitement bubbled within him, the kind you feel when witnessing a bud of a flower unfurl into a vibrant blossom.

Part of him—the heart that still existed somewhere deep inside—sank at the thought. How sad… how broken. Maybe Ther really is gone; no one can be Ther anymore.

The corruption he offered had twisted into something worse than he ever anticipated.

It seemed he had become the meaning of your existence.

So this is it, he thought. He loves you, despite everything. Congrats.

Guess he’ll have to take responsibility, then. Because he’s the one to blame.

He made you into this demon.

He turned you into a crushed soul, someone with no one else to turn to… not even yourself.

No matter what path it takes, he will continue to make you suffer.

Whether he wants you or not.

Because it’s all come to your pretty little head.

Even if this wasn’t what he intended… what was the side effect?!

To you, he was the only one on this planet who could love you.

And that realization twisted his insides. It made you rely on him, trust him, and that was the only thing that could keep you sane. You wanted to make him feel happy, and he needed you to prove you weren’t boring. Even now, you were trying.

He understood that if he turned his back on you, your existence would lose all meaning.

He made you. He rebuilt you.

The way you are now—the new you was the gift he had given you.

But even he didn’t know if this was truly what he wanted to do.

Yet he knew. Even the devil wouldn’t abandon someone like you.

Let the two broken people be broken together. If the suffering became too much…

He would kill you.

And deep down, he knows you would thank him for it.

How pathetic.

He thought he could corrupt you, thought he could twist you into something dark and beautiful. But instead, he created a monster that reflected all his failures and fears. The weight of that responsibility crushed him, and the irony of it all burned in his chest like acid.

What have I done?

[creedslove]

"he was my first and i was just another girl"

Is perfect scenario for Pedro boys and reader 🥰

Javier Peña x f!reader

A/N: omg I thought of so many scenarios for this one, but there was only one answer: Javi and we know it 🚬

• Laredo was a small city and everyone knew each other there, even if you didn't know the person per se, you had heard of them, and of course things wouldn't be different when it came to the infamous Javier Peña, the local hero and also hot gossip of the place

• you'd heard too much about him, his adventures in Colombia, the Escobar hunting and of course the most famous story about Javier Peña of all times: his runaway wedding. It was just so amusing as it didn't seem real at all but rather the tales of a fictional character and especially when you saw Javier for the first time, because you certainly didn't expect him to be so handsome

• you sort of expected him to be kind of pathetic, you were not sure why, but perhaps because you'd heard he used to wear tight jeans, colorful shirts, aviators and stuff like that, the image painted in your mind couldn't be further from the truth: yes, he did dress up in that corny way, but he was painfully handsome like you were not expecting

• and flirty too, you didn't expect him to be that flirty, but he was and against all of your judgments, you accepted a drink from him, what was the worst that could happen? He was a sight for sore eyes, his smile was to die for and the way he called you cariño for the first time you felt you were melting

• so a drink at a bar became two, and then it became dinner and then it turned to a salsa dancing date which surprised you because you never knew Javier Peña could dance, but he was quite good at it and it was so tempting and intense when he grabbed you by the hips and clung your bodies closer as you swayed them together

• and after that, it didn't take long for the two of you to crawl into bed together, and not only the bed, but his car, his ranch, the barn, the lake and many other places around the city you were sure that weren't really allowed to be used for that purpose, but it didn't matter

• you couldn't get enough of Javi, he was perfect, too good to be real, and it was too good because he made sure to tell you he didn't do romances or relationships and you were just on board with him, as you also didn't do romances or relationships... You had nothing against it, but it wasn't just your thing

• however, whenever you were around Javi, it sort of seemed that maybe, and just maybe, things could lead somewhere, because it was just so good, it came to a point you did everything with Javi: you went out together, you had ice cream by the main square, you both went to the movies, rode horses, you even helped him out at the ranch here and there

• he liked you, you were pretty, sweet, funny and he enjoyed your company, he just worried that maybe you both were just too connected somehow and when he realized you were starting to become more and more attached to him, he thought it was time to stop things for a while; he didn't want to make you think things were actually something else when they clearly weren't

• so as much as it hurt him, he decided to break things up, it would be better that way, then you could do your own things and move on with your life and he would do the same, no strings attached and no worries about it at all

• you didn't take it very well, you didn't see it coming, always thinking that you two were enjoying the relationship equally, but turns out it wasn't as you expected. However, you accepted it, there was nothing you could do but to accept it and set Javi free, deep down, you knew he wasn't meant to be trapped with only one person, he belonged to everyone

• as you watched him take another girl out exactly the same way he has taken you out several times before, you still felt a pang in your chest, sighing at the realization that was bitter as the truth: he'd been the first one you loved, but to him, you were just another girl

____

[katnissmellarkkk]

another thing about twilight. why is it that bella never ever seems to care that the cullens — imo carlisle especially — only care about her literally because they love edward? like of course that is majority of in-law situations in life, like i know that. but bella is like “this is my family! this is where i belong and who i belong with!” and then they all just up and leave her the moment edward tells them to. carlisle especially only seems to care about her imo (beyond the fact that he cares for all human lives) because he cares about edward. idk i would feel some kind of way about the cullens if they literally took me in and then dropped me like a hot potato based off whatever edward felt on any given day.

in a way alice is better and in a way she’s worse on this front. like okay, she and bella are best friends, that much is true. one of the things i will give stephenie meyers (because she’s nowhere near as bad as people claim. stephen king has no business criticizing her when his stories are some of the worst i’ve ever encountered) is she does create and develop actual believable friendships and relationships. bella and alice are very close and lovey dovey. but that makes it worse imo when alice abandons her alongside edward. because her friendship with bella is literally contingent on edward.

but at the same time she does have an actual relationship with bella and you get that she wanted what edward thought was best for bella’s life and she loves her and her heart is in the right place and all that good stuff. but idk. for me, if i were in that situation, i wouldn’t have taken the cullens in as warmly again in eclipse. like bella is all like “my family! we’re all together again!” when in reality i, and i think anyone with enough self-esteem, would be much colder to them. more distant and less open. because even if she’s taken edward back — because really his side of the leaving fiasco is actually more understandable than the entire family’s ditching her and then wanting to act like nothing ever happened seven months later — his family still proved that she’s merely an extension of edward to them. they’re a family, they’ve been a family for around 75-100 years. they’ve been together, functioning as a family unit town to town since before her grandparents were born. like she’s just a modern teenage girl who the one unmarried brother fell in love with and brought along for the ride. like they all abandoned her and had the whole thing with edward/alice/cliff diving/volturi not occurred then the entire family would have just never contacted her again in her life. idk. i get the impression more so from carlisle than any of the others but bella’s whole open heart, open arms thing is sadly pathetic. because she’s clinging to a family that could take or leave her at a moment’s notice.

and honestly some lots may disagree but i do highkey appreciate the fact that stephenie meyers tried to rectify a lot of people’s criticisms with bella, in midnight sun. like she tried to retroactively make it seem like a lot of the “bella is a parentified child and she’s so mature because she doesn’t mind it at all” “bella takes care of her parents because she’s old for her age” was just a first person character blindness on bella’s part and it was actually really messed up in edward’s eyes the way her parents treated her and how it shaped her personality. but personally i wish SM would have included edward realizing bella has a really low self-esteem and that’s why she takes whatever kind of love people offer her without complaint and resentment even after they’ve done her dirty, not because “the cullens are so amazing” and “i’m so lucky to belong with them!”