#I love that the last one is literally a thing Keeley did

[jamietwat]

2/?

[its-time-to-write]

three times ‘cause i’ve waited my whole life

I am apparently incapable of writing anything short. This has no plot. I think the only warnings are like swearing and innuendo. It is literally just Jamie and the reader being in love. I cannot stress enough how little plot this has. Enjoy.

three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life It’s one of Richmond’s biggest games. They’re facing Man City on their turf, an away game, and it’s a big deal.

It’s not important in that it really matters to their status in the premier league, but important because it’s Man City. Jamie has thrown himself completely into training, so you rarely see him except to eat dinner and then fall asleep, his arms around your waist as you watch tv, fingers combing through his hair. He’s awake before you are, but as soon as you hear him switch on the bathroom light, you make your way downstairs to make him breakfast. The team nutritionist had a strict diet for him, one modified by Roy to account for all the extra training. You rub sleep from your eyes as you brew a pot of tea, waiting for Jamie to come downstairs.

Arms snake around you as you wait at the stove for the tea.“You don’t have to do this,” Jamie says, kissing your neck. You smile and reach back to him.

“I know,” you reply, “It’s just the only time I really get to see you.”

Jamie pulls away and turns you around. You see that he’s frowning.

“I haven’t been a good boyfriend recently, have I?” he asks.

You smile, lacing your arms around his neck. “Jamie. This is just a part of life. You have a big game, you disappear for a while, I miss you and I adjust. You finish, win or lose, and we’re back. I knew what I was signing up for.”

He puts his hands on your wrists. “Yeah, but, like, we’re supposed to be talking to each other and shit. And I’m so tired all the time that I can’t think of anything to say. I also’ve been a shit listener. Can’t even remember what we talked about yesterday.”

You sigh, move his hands back to your waist, and then reach up to smooth the furrow in his brow.

“Remember when I had all that extra work last month and ended up working 60 hours a week because of everything that had to be done? I was up late every night, and all you did was bring me food and kiss me, then you left me alone. I think the longest we were together was when you let me sit with my legs on your lap for two hours. I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Yeah but-”

You cut him off: “Jamie. It’s just life right now. It’s not forever. It’s ok.”

He looks like he has more to say, but is interrupted by the kettle whistling. You give him a quick kiss and then point to his breakfast on the counter. You sit on the kitchen island while he eats, with your head on his shoulder until Roy comes.

—

Here’s the thing; no one knows you and Jamie are together. Sure, Roy knows. But Jamie loves Roy. Keeley knows. But Jamie said you’d love Keeley. (You did). Ted and Beard know, but only because they saw you two walking around the Richmond green late, late at night. (What they were doing on the Richmond green that late is beyond you, but hey). It wasn’t long after that that Jamie put a picture of you two up in his locker, so then all of AFC Richmond knew. But you weren’t public public. You had yet to show up in a tabloid or be seen with Jamie at a game or public event. You went to his games, absolutely, but you stayed in the stands, not the box.

He always got you a spot as close to the field as possible, but you would always meet up with Keeley and Rebecca after games to rendezvous somewhere else later. 

You don’t mind. It doesn’t feel like Jamie is ashamed of you, especially because the people he cares about know. But you also know that you can handle it, and if he wants to go public and kiss you in the stands after a win, you would be ok with that. (You might be more than ok with that).

But as it is, no one knows about you. He knows where you stand on it, so the ball’s in his court. It’s been a year of this, but you just wonder how long it’s going to last.

—

Finally, finally it’s the week of the game. You had been staying in Manchester with Jamie’s mum, which was absolutely terrifying at first. It was not your first time meeting her, just your first time staying with her without Jamie present. You left a day before the team, so when they arrived Jamie sneaked away to come visit. You are sitting in comfortable silence on his mum’s porch looking up at the night sky, when he turns to you and says, “do you love me?”

You’re taken a little aback. “What kind of question is that?” you say. “Of course I love you.”

Jamie’s forehead is all scrunched up again, like it was that early morning. “What if I fucked my leg so badly I could never play football again?”

You laugh. “Not sure if you’ve noticed babe, but I’m not really a big football person. I’m more of a you person, so I guess there’s some overlap.”

Jamie is still weirdly nervous. “What if I play football till I’m forty, and you barely see me like it’s been? What if I’m always on the road and always training and all we get are dinners and shitty 3am breakfasts?”

He’s removed his arm from your shoulders at this point and you shiver, puffing out a breath into the cold air. He notices without saying a word and drapes his jacket around you.

“Jamie,” you reply slowly, trying to formulate your thoughts, “where is this all coming from? You know I love you. We’ve been together for a year, and this has never been an issue before.” As you’re speaking, you’re seized by a sudden, terrible thought: “Are you breaking up with me?”

The words tumble out so fast, you’re not sure he hears you until he’s looking at you, aghast. 

“No, are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you reply. “But you’re acting all weird, and we’ve been together for an entire year and that’s the longest you’ve dated anyone and I just thought that maybe this was your way of letting me know gently that you’re over me.”

Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest.

Jamie breathes out a sigh of relief. “Oh. No. I’m not ending things. I want to be with you forever. I just get all freaked out in me head before games like this, and it’s been fuckin weird coming home, and I just want to win, you know, so that way all this time away is worth it.” He pulls you close to him again and you can feel his heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace, in sync with your own. 

You sit there till his mum comes out to remind him that it’s time to go get some rest, and it’s not until you’re half asleep in Jamie’s childhood bed that your mind replays his words:

I want to be with you forever.

—

It’s game day. You send Jamie a quick love you! text and then slip into your Jamie Tartt jersey. It’s from one of his old kits so it’s a little worn, but you always put it into his laundry pile so it comes out of the wash smelling like him. It’s not something anyone would notice, but you know, and it makes you smile. You get to be in the stands and know that Jamie Tartt loves you and you love him, and at the end of the day he’s the one you get to hold. You give yourself a shake, and open your phone to figure out where you’re meeting Keeley.

—

“And Richmond wins, 3-2 with a smashing goal by number 9 himself, Jamie Tartt!”

You’re screaming and jumping in the stands, overwhelmed by the fact that we won, we won, we won! The Richmond team are piling onto each other, Dani on Isaac’s back, Sam and Jan Maas jumping up and down like kids. You lose sight of Jamie in the mix.

“Well Arlo, it looks like Richmond has once again, exceeded all of our low expectations.”

“That’s right Chris, all thanks to Jamie Tartt’s brilliant goal. Looks like he’s having a good time celebrating with the Richmond lads. Wonder what they’ll get up to tonight? But what’s this? It looks like Tartt has broken away from his teammates and is running to the stands! He’s stopped in front of a fan and it looks like he is kissing a very lucky Richmond fan full on the mouth!”

“Have you ever been so caught up in a moment that you’ve made out with a stranger, Arlo?”

“Can’t say that I have, Chris. Can’t say that I have.”

It all happens so fast, that you don’t even know how to process it. One moment you can’t find Jamie and the next he is leaping over the stands, catching you in his arms, and kissing you in front of the whole stadium as if no one else is around. When you finally pull away, breathless, he takes your hand and helps you hop over the wall onto the pitch. Not usually allowed, but you suppose they’ll let it slide for football’s golden boy. AFC Richmond has caught up to Jamie, and you’re all on the field, screaming your heads off out of the sheer joy of winning.

—

“You’re coming tonight, yeah?” Isaac asks you as you wait for Jamie by the team bus. It’s the day after the Man City game, and you’re back in Richmond with a plan to hit the town yet again, as though the night before wasn’t enough for them. (You actually wouldn’t know, because you were in a very nice hotel room with a certain striker).

“Yeah, you know the only reason we invited him anywhere is in the hopes that you’ll finally be able come along,” Colin adds.

Any story of Richmond’s win had a somewhat fuzzy picture attached of Jamie kissing you in the stands with some variation of the title “Tartt’s mystery girl.”

You laugh. “Yes, we’ll be there. It’ll be nice to actually be out and about with you guys. Family dinners are fun, but there’s more to life.”

Once you found out that Jamie’s whole team knew you existed, you made him invite them over for dinner once a month. It’s one of your favorite things, especially because they all bring food to share. When it’s warm you do pool parties and when it’s cold you play bracket uno. It was nice to meet Jamie’s family, whether he’ll admit that’s what they are or not.

“You ready, babe?” Jamie asks as he slings his arm around you.

“BYE TED!” you yell. “Ok. Now I’m ready.”

— 

Sam closed his restaurant special for you all, and turned it into like a private club. You say like because it is, at its core, a restaurant. However, under Isaac’s supervision and creative design, he apparently has transformed Ola’s through rearranged furniture, dimmed lighting, and music into a place where AFC Richmond can celebrate their win without feeling crowded by strangers. You’re secretly grateful, because clubs are not really your scene. You’ll get all dressed up, sure, but you never know what to do with yourself once you’re there. 

Speaking of getting dressed up, you were feeling yourself. You had a light blue mini dress, with an asymmetrical neckline and a single puffed sleeve. It was more a-line than bodycon, but hey. You like a little bit of a twirl when you spin. Your absolute favorite part though was that you were wearing two-inch silver block heels, with straps around your ankles. The dress plus the shoes made your legs look magical. 

You and Jamie are in the bathroom getting ready, you fixing your makeup and him fixing his hair. He half-turns to you and points to his hair with a questioning look. “Lookin’ good,” you smile, and he smiles back.

“Oh, babe,” he says, tweaking his hair one final time, “I left my sunglasses back at the locker room, and I was wonderin’ if you’d be ok getting them with me before we head to the party? I just don’t want Bumbercatch stealing them.”

“Why would Bumbercatch steal them?” you ask.

Jamie shrugs. “Something about ‘no name, fair game.’ That’s how Jan Maas lost his favorite socks.” 

You shudder. Why Bumbercatch would want Jan Maas’ dirty old socks, you have no idea. They must be really amazing.

You reply, “Yeah sure, I hate being too early to things anyway,” as Jamie absentmindedly kisses you on the forehead with a “thanks babe,” as he heads downstairs.

—

You don’t live far from the Richmond pitch, so you’re walking across the dark parking lot in no time.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Jamie says.

He’s swinging your hands as you walk. He looks nice, the sleeves of his cream shirt rolled up. Nice pants, nice shoes. Nice ass. 

“Yeah, of course,” you say, momentarily distracted by the fact that this man is going to get laid tonight. 

“No, I mean you’re always down for what-fuckin-ever, and you just let things bounce off you. And you like me, for my personality for some fucking reason? And I think about you all the time, when I’m gone or when, like, I have early training with Roy. And you make laugh because you stopped being afraid to be yourself around me. I just like you. And I meant what I said the other day, I do want to be with you forever. Not to freak you out or whatever.”

He’s stopped right at the doors and he looks so uncomfortable and earnest in a way that you’ve never seen before.

“I’m not freaked out, Jaim,” you say. “I love you, and you know I’m in it to win it with you. Now, let’s get those sunglasses and for the love of god, please don’t act this weird tonight.”

This elicits a chuckle, and he nods in concession. “Alright. Let’s go.”

The halls are dark and quiet as you walk to the Richmond locker room. It smells clean, for once. Like lavender. There’s a faint glow coming from the doors and Jamie pushes open the doors to the most magical thing you have ever seen.

There are candles on the benches and twinkle lights strung across the lockers. There’s a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the room and as you turn to Jamie, awestuck look on your face, you see him kneeling behind you, small black box in hand.

“Jamie,” you say.

“Yes, love,” he replies.

“What are you doing.” It’s a statement, not a question, and it comes out more wobbly than you’d care to admit.

He cracks a smile. “Eh, I hope it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.”

You can feel a fucking tear forming in your eye and you will it to go away. You refuse to have streaky foundation.

“Love of my life,” Jamie begins.

“Yes,” you say.

“Oi, you’ve gotta let me finish.”

“Right, sorry, as you were.” You think your face is going to split in half with the size of your smile.

He takes a breath then continues, “there’s no one else I’d rather have shitty 3am breakfasts with, no one else I’d rather beat at MarioKart, and no one else I’d rather do life with. Will you m-”

He’s cut of by you kissing him like you have never kissed him before. After a moment, he pulls away and asks, “Is that a yes?”

You can’t help it, the furrow in his brow gets you every time so you laugh and reply, “Of course it’s a yes, you dummy!”

Jamie smiles and then yells, “Lads, she said yes!” and the blinds go up from the coaches office as the entire AFC Richmond team storms into the locker room. Dani and Richard are spraying champagne in the air as people hug you and slap Jamie on the back. 

You find his hand amid the chaos and squeeze it. 

“Can’t believe I were so nervous about this,” he says into your ear.

“Can’t believe you think you beat me at MarioKart,” you respond.

“Oi, we are not getting into this again-”

“There’s only one way to settle this.”

Jamie looks at you, then to all your friends celebrating, then back to you. “Think they’ll even notice we’re gone?”

You shake my head. “Nah,” you say, “let’s get out of here.”

Jamie smiles at me as you slip through six different lynx scents out the door. “You’re going down, Mrs. Tartt.”

“Only one of us is going down tonight, Mr. Tartt, and I can assure you it is not me!”

“You can say that again.” Jamie sticks out his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows at you, and your laughter echoes up into the night sky.

[goldfish-or-smthing]

The Updated Tedependent Masterpost

Disclaimer: Same as last time! I have no problem with people who ship other things, don't ship anything, or ship Tedependent but don't want/expect it to be canon! This is just a theory... (a TED LASSO theory 😎)

Quick notes:

original post here!

Some of this stuff is new, some of it is old, some of it is my observations, and some of it is from other people... I was just getting annoyed at the old post missing stuff and wanted to have all the Tedependent evidence in one place

I’ll be updating this post if new evidence comes along 😊

PART 1 - The Evidence

Car park/similarities with Michelle

In 1x05 when Ted tells Michelle he’s ready to get divorced, he talks about how their relationship began —at school, in a parking lot. Not only did Ted and Trent visit a school on the day they began to get to know each other, but their last scene of season 2 takes place in the Richmond parking lot, which draws even more parallels between their relationship and that of Ted and Michelle. This post also illustrates some connections between the scene between Michelle and Ted and the one between Ted and Trent at the end of 3x02.

Ted’s focus on Trent

From the very first time he calls on Trent in the press room, we see Ted act differently towards Trent than the other reporters. He makes jokes with him, and Trent responds in turn. Ted also makes Trent’s daughter biscuits, which we never see him do for any other reporter and which also implies that not only has he interacted with Trent outside of work but he’s also met his daughter too, something that he doesn’t appear to do with other journalists.

Parallels between Roy/Keely and Ted/Trent

This is a list within a list! The parallels are: - Roy and Keeley have their first big romantic moment in the Richmond parking lot, which is also where Ted and Trent's last scene of season 2 is set (and connects to the Michelle parking lot speech too). - When Roy first invites Keeley on a date, they do a sort of press room roleplay thing. Not only are they just generally mirroring Ted and Trent, but Keeley literally introduces herself as "Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman", announcing herself in the exact same way that Trent usually does, even down to her joking newspaper name, which is literally.... The Independent Woman... It couldn't really be any more on the nose. - The first scene where we see Roy and Keeley begin to fall for each other is at the end of 1x03, after Roy headbutts Colin in the club and threatens everyone to stop bullying Nate, and we get Keeley and Roy nodding at each other in acknowledgement. As this is happening, Trent is reading out his article about Ted, which could be considered the first time we see Trent beginning to fall for Ted. - Roy and Keeley also have Phoebe, who's almost their pseudo-daughter in some scenes, similar to how Trent has a daughter.

Twelfth Night

In 2x07, at around 31 mins in, we get a scene with Trent going up to Ted in the pub to ask for a quote. At the beginning of this scene, right before Trent shows up, Mae says to Ted "If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it", which is the opening line to Shakespeare's romantic comedy Twelfth Night. In Twelfth Night, this line is said by Orsino, who is lamenting about a woman named Olivia, whom he loves but who doesn't love him back (I take this to be Ted and Michelle). Orsino then moves on and falls in love with Caesario, a man who is actually a woman called Viola disguised as a man. To cut a long story short, the relationship between Orsino and Viola/Caesario is considered to be a homosexual love story. Bear in mind that lines in this show are rarely said for no reason, and that this line serves no other purpose (and frankly seems a little out of place) than to hint at a romance between Ted and Trent.

Casablanca

At the beginning of the same scene, when Trent sees Ted, he says "Of all the pub joints!". This is a reference to the line "Of all the gin joints in the world, she walks into mine" from Casablanca. As well as this, episode 8 of season 3 is titled “We’ll Never Have Paris”, another reference to Casablanca (although so far some of the suspected titles have been slightly different from the actual title). Casablanca is, of course, an incredibly famous (perhaps the most famous?) romance movie, and it’s interesting to me that not only does it get referenced in a scene between Ted and Trent but it comes up again in season 3.

Also to note: Raja Casablanca is the name of the football club Edwin Akufo invites Sam to join in season 2. Because of this, some people have speculated that the episode title’s reference to Casablanca is actually meant to link back to Sam. I find this unlikely though, as the episode preceding it is titled “Ola’s”, which is the name of Sam’s restaurant, so it would be unlikely to have two Sam-centric episodes in a row.

Trent’s Date

On the same scene of season 2 (we got a LOT from that scene...), we see Trent leaving someone at the door. Many people have speculated that this is his partner or someone he’s dating, which is very likely when you consider Trent’s not-very-platonic tone and way of touching the man. An interesting detail about the man Trent was dating is that he has a moustache, much like someone else we know… 🤨🤨

Higgins

In 2x05 Higgins describes to Rebecca how the first time he met his wife, he embarrassed himself by spilling beer all over himself, and the first time Ted and Trent interact, Ted also embarrasses himself by spitting water everywhere.

Similarities between Trent and Rebecca

There are quite a few similarities between Trent and Rebecca- they’re both very icy to Ted in the beginning, are won over through food (Rebecca through the biscuits, Trent over spicy Indian food), are almost the exact same age according to the pilot script, have strangely similar hair, and the only people Ted makes biscuits for on the show are Rebecca and Trent’s daughter. As well as this, in 1x03 Ted says to Trent “Watch your back, Gay Talese there’s a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm” then in 1x09 Ted says to Rebecca “Watch your back, Kate Moss there’s a new bad girl on the British modelling scene”.  I believe this is a way of twisting the expectation that Rebecca and Ted are going to end up together to have Ted end up with someone similar, but not who people expect.

Final scene of season 2

Ted’s final scene in the whole of season 2 is him with Trent, which is especially interesting as this scene is sandwiched between scenes about the other major romances on the show (the scenes go Rebecca and Sam, then Ted and Trent, then Roy and Keeley). The significance of Ted’s last scene of the whole of season 2 being with Trent can’t really be overstated. Ted Lasso is a show that loves its parallels, and it would’ve been satisfying to have both season 1 and 2 end with Ted and Rebecca having a debrief about the season in her office, but season 2 instead breaks this expectation by having the scene between Ted and Trent after this.

Trailer/last episode release dates

The trailer for season 3 was released on Valentine’s Day, which was likely a deliberate choice hinting that this season will include more romance. As well as this, the last episode airs the day before pride month, which, although less likely to be deliberate, is also an… interesting coincidence.

The Trent trailer

In the run-up to season 3, Apple TV released a sort of trailer/teaser thing on their website featuring Trent narrating the events of early season 1. This is a very strange video- it was released shortly before season 3 but doesn’t contain any new footage apart from Trent’s voiceover and a couple of shots of Trent’s desk, so it’s not really a trailer. It’s also not a summary- it doesn’t contain any information about season 2, or even the events of season 1. It’s also not spoiler-free though- it includes many shots from late season 2 that give away the plot and even has Trent sign off as “Trent Crimm, independent”. So what on earth was this video made for? And why is it displayed on the website with this photo, of all things, as the icon?

I don’t have the answers to those questions. But what I can say is that this video gives off very rom-com journalist falls for main character vibes. And seems to exist for no other reason than to have Trent wax lyrical about Ted for 3 minutes.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

In their last scene of season 2, Trent tells Ted that he doesn't know how to ride a bike, which seems to me to be a very deliberate hint that at some point in the series we’ll get him learning to ride. We know episode 6 is set in Amsterdam, aka the bike capital of the world, and during this episode the song Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head plays, which also plays during a bicycle riding scene in the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. As well as this, Paul Newman and Robert Redford, who play the titular characters of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, are referenced in 3x03 and 3x04, respectively, so it would make a lot of sense for episode 6 to have a romantic bike riding scene referencing the film, definitely with Trent in and most likely with Ted there too. On top of this, the film has a lot of queer subtext, which makes it all the more interesting that it’s referenced in season 3 and most likely referenced in a scene between Ted and Trent. Thanks to @crimmcast for bringing this connection to my attention!

11:11 wishes

At the beginning of 3x02, Ted states that 11:11 is his wishing time, and then at exactly 11:11 in the episode, Ted says "Trent Crimm is writing a book about us". While I don't think Ted wished for Trent to write a book about the club since he already knew that was happening, I think that between this and Trent being in the scene where Ted first talks about his 11:11 wishing tradition, Ted’s wishes and Trent are somehow connected. Thanks to this post for pointing this out!

"Goodnight Sport"

Ted says this to Trent at the end of 3x02, and it's significant for a few reasons. Firstly, Ted gives other members of the Diamond Dogs nicknames such as "sweetheart", so this cements Trent's place as part of the group. Secondly, in the scene preceding this, they talk about how sport is an excellent metaphor, after Roy uses it as a metaphor for his relationship with Keeley. This means that, having just used sport as a metaphor for relationships and love, Ted then chooses to apply this word to Trent. Thirdly is the connection to The Great Gatsby, in which Gatsby frequently refers to Nick as “old sport”, with the relationship between Gatsby and Nick often considered to be queer coded.

La Cage aux Folles

Shortly after the first episode of season 3 aired, Apple Music released the playlist, which included all the songs in order in season 3. The final song on the playlist was I am what I am, which is the last song of Act 1 of La Cage aux Folles. La Cage is a musical about a gay couple who run a nightclub, and this song is about Albin refusing to hide his sexuality and go back into the closet. It’s the final song of the show, so if this season follows the precedent set by the previous two and closes with the same character it started with, this song will play over a scene with Ted in it. Apple has recently removed all the songs from the Ted Lasso Season 3 playlist from episodes we have yet to see, which indicates that the playlist probably includes spoilers, which this song, if it’s used as expected, definitely counts as. I’ve seen some people express worries that I am what I am will be misused and that the writers/showrunners may not understand the significance of the song to the queer community and end up using it to express Ted’s acceptance of his mental health or something similar. I severely doubt this- I don’t think a show like Ted Lasso, which so carefully puts in lines that hint at things that happen several seasons later (think the way Roy’s anger at Trent was laid out from the start of season 1), would be so blind as to overlook the cultural significance of the final song used in probably the entire show.

The songs get more romantic after Amsterdam

The songs get considerably more romantic after the Amsterdam episode, and although this could technically be for other couples on the show, it’s a CONSIDERABLE increase—over half the songs post-Amsterdam are romantic, which leads me to believe that Ted either gets into a relationship or things ramp up romantically during/after Amsterdam. Technically, this piece of evidence isn't specifically for Tedependent, but more for Ted having some sort of relationship in S3.

The infamous James Lance interview

These are some quotes from an interview James Lance did after season 2 had just finished airing. I try not to read too much into what actors say in interviews as it can easily be misinterpreted, but his insistence that there’s “something there” in the way Trent looks at Ted as well as that there is something about Trent, to do with Ted, that is yet to be revealed in season 3 is certainly intriguing. He also refuses to answer whether Trent is gay or not. I feel like this is most likely because if viewers knew about Trent’s sexuality, the Colin outing storyline would not be as compelling, as knowing for sure that Trent is gay would essentially rule out him outing Colin.

Season 3 is far more queer than the previous seasons

Season 3 is considerably more queer than the seasons before it, and not just because of the Colin storyline. Concepts like changing your name being integrated into episodes (although I hate Zava and have a lot of opinions about the Zoreaux/Van Damme storyline), Zava’s line about gender being a construct, and even Ted correcting Rebecca about West Ham in the first episode (which, although Ted is technically correcting her on using they/them as a plural pronoun and not singular, is still very queer coded) all make this season have a lot more queer undertones. As well as this, Ted has had multiple… suspicious lines this season. His comment in episode one about the “muscular thighs” of rugby players, telling Beard/Roy to “just KISS”- Ted this season so far has been far more overtly queer coded than in previous seasons.

Height as a metaphor for masculinity

This point isn’t entirely about Ted and Trent themselves, but rather an interesting thought I had about the season’s portrayal of height so far. We’ve had both Ted and Trent comment on other men’s heights—"He’s tall" and "You’re tall" respectively—as well as Nate, whose masculinity was constantly undermined throughout his time at Richmond seen struggling to reach the believe poster. Both Beard and Roy laugh at Nate’s struggles, two men who are confident in their own masculinity, but Ted and Trent do not, as men who, in Ted’s words, have had “guys underestimating me my entire life”. Neither Ted nor Trent are particularly short, and their comments about other men’s heights seem a little out of place, but they are both unconventionally masculine, and the men they direct these comments to are the opposite—Zava in particular, as a successful football player, is masculine in the most typical sense. Taking these lines as nods to Ted and Trent’s unconventional masculinity also makes them queer coded, with non-typical presentations of masculinity often synonymous with queer men.

Unconventional families

A big theme in the whole show is family, particularly found family, but this season doubles down on that with the idea of unconventional families coming up a few times in the first few episodes. Ted tells Michelle that "I love our family, no matter what it looks like", and there's also Higgins' joke about the boy and his father, which elicits a few responses about different unconventional families (gay, sperm donor). As well as this, in this interview, Jason talks about Ted finding “another way to go about living this life” and the idea of moving away from the nuclear family structure, which is all very interesting. 🤔🤔

The House in the Cerulean Sea

As I said earlier, I try not to reference things the actors/creators of the show say or do on social media too much because there’s often a big scope for misinterpreting or reading too much into things. That being said, when Jason Sudeikis likes a tweet comparing Ted Lasso to my favourite book ever, I can’t not say something about it! Because wow was that a moment. Embarrassingly, I somehow never noticed the connections between two of my favourite pieces of media until I thought more about it after seeing this tweet, but WOW, are there connections. I’ll try to give as spoiler-free a synopsis as I can… Linus Baker, the main character, is trapped in a morally dubious job that he tells himself is important and something he enjoys, until he gets sent to observe and report on an orphanage run by Arthur Parnassus, who’s very Ted-coded and shows Linus kindness that he’s never encountered before, making him think more about who he is and what he’s doing with his life. If the Trent connections aren’t already blaringly obvious, consider the way Linus starts the story as an observer and over time slowly becomes a part of the narrative. I’ll stop there because I don’t want to get carried away and give spoilers, but the whole book is SO Ted Lasso coded! (Not just in the relationship between Linus and Arthur, but literally the whole book) I really encourage everyone to read it. Also, um… did I mention? It’s basically a slow-burn queer love story between Linus and Arthur.

The Kinks

In 3x02, we get Trent entering the clubhouse to the tune of A Well Respected Man by The Kinks. Later in the show, around episode 11, Strangers plays, which is another Kinks song. This is a romantic song, and considering the Kinks are already connected to Trent through his entrance in episode 2, this song could be used for a moment between Ted and Trent.

Robert Redford

After Trent shows the coaches the security footage of Nate ripping the believe sign, Ted says to him “May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday”, and Trent responds, “Probably Dustin Hoffman”. This is in reference to All the President’s Men, a film about journalists uncovering the Watergate scandal, where Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman play the main two journalists of the film. The strange thing about this line is that Ted decides to compare Trent to Robert Redford, pictured here on the right, despite him clearly looking much more like Dustin Hoffman, especially with the hair. By comparing Trent to Robert Redford, Ted is essentially saying “Hey, I think this incredibly attractive man should play you in a movie!”. And if that isn’t a gay thing to say, I don’t know what is.

PART 2 - Conclusion

I’ve talked almost exclusively so far in this post about connections between specific lines and other character’s arcs/pop culture references and mostly avoided analysing the chemistry and compatibility between Ted and Trent themselves. This is because I wanted to present as solid evidence as I could, and things like romantic glances are far more subjective and up for interpretation. Something that can seem romantic to one person can be seen as completely platonic by someone else. That being said, I do think the two of them have a lot of chemistry, and their arcs fit together so well: Ted as someone who often hides his feelings and puts on a mask of positivity, and Trent as someone who can see through people’s masks and get to what they really mean. They have had a few romantic moments as well: their last scene of season 2, as well as at the end of 3x02, which both contain lingering looks, and the latter is literally overlaid with a romantic song. As well as this, they just get each other; Trent understands and responds accordingly to every single reference Ted throws at him, and he even enjoys his puns (in contrast to Sassy’s denial of Ted in which she cites his “dreadful puns”). The two of them work so well together, and it would be so beautiful to see a queer middle-aged love story, especially if it tells the story of discovering your sexuality later in life.

The idea of Nate’s downfall was hinted at in season 1 with a few lines and subtle moments, not enough for a casual viewer to notice the first time around but just enough to see it clearly laid out on a retrospective rewatch. We have a lot of season 3 left to go, and a lot of reveals are still yet to be… revealed, likely ones that will be just as surprising as Nate’s downfall was but will, like Nate’s arc, have had just as much subtle set up. Set up like referencing Shakespearian romantic comedies, or building up the idea of wishes at 11:11, or references to unconventional families, or drawing parallels between one relationship and another, or slowly introducing more queer concepts into the show, or referencing one of the most famous romantic drama movies of all time, or—you get the gist. No one can say for sure whether Tedependent will become canon, but it’s undoubtable that the setup is there. Whether the show will actually have the balls to go for it... only time will tell.

Thank you for reading :)

Before I go... In no particular order a huge thank you to @thedanceronthestreets, @crenttrimm, @garaksrod, @firefam, @mandiffe, @wrong-energy, @ishouldbedoingalright and @strawberryswords (as well as others I've probably missed!!) tysm for listening to my delusions and sharing all of your own <3

[tarttheart]

PRECIOUS LOVE: PROLOGUE - JAMIE TARTT x YOU

summary: a crush leads to a one night stand leads to four years away from England.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: language, sexual references, pregnancy loss.

-

prologue: didn’t know what to do with myself

Before Keeley, there had been you.

You had been off limits. Everyone knew that. It had been an unwritten rule at Man City. At first, it was out of respect for De Bryune (and partly because no one wanted to suffer his wrath if they broke your heart). But then, everyone got to know you and it became evident that the rule had to stand. You were affable to a fault and you had this knack for drawing people out no matter how hard their exterior was. Everyone loved you and there was no way anyone could pursue you without a potential falling out with the team if things went pear-shaped so no one did.

Until Jamie.

Jamie was still living in his Prince of Pricks era but even he struggled with not becoming enamoured by you. You were always so sincere and genuinely interested in him (and anyone) as a person that he grappled with having actual feelings for you. Jamie did not do actual feelings. Not even a little bit.

Jamie made every effort to push you away and out of his life but you made it impossible. Despite how much of a prick he had been to you, you had unabashedly pulled him into a long, long, long hug after chancing upon an encounter because Jamie and his dad. To say it had not gone down well would be putting it mildly but the way you had wordlessly walked up to him and pulled him into a long, tight hug had said it all and had undone all the walls Jamie had tried to put up.

It was the last post-season celebration Jamie would attend for a while. He was going to be loaned to Richmond next year and he would be leaving soon. Who knows when he would be back? If ever there was a time to shoot his shot, it was now.

Which worked out perfectly.

Your time in Manchester was never permanent. You had moved from London for a promotion. It had worked out well that De Bryune was in Manchester and your friendship meant you instantly befriended a literal team of people. It had made life in Manchester far more interesting and fun but you had been offered another promotion which involved yet another relocation. It was much further away this time and unfortunately, you knew no one there. But, it fulfilled your dream of living overseas. So, while De Bryune had been disappointed that one of his key connections to life outside of football was due to leave, he could only send you off with his well wishes.

“I’m really happy for you. I know how much you dreamt of moving away and seeing the world and now you will.”

You smiled, “took a lot longer to make my dream come true compared to you though.”

“It’s not a competition,” De Bryune chided before continuing, “you know, if you have other dreams, you should work on them too.”

You hummed softly to yourself as you ignored the underlying meaning to Kevin’s comment.

He cleared his throat and continued, “fine, don’t talk to me about it. But we’ve known each other since we were kids. As much as I hate that you do, I know you like Jamie. And I’m pretty sure Jamie likes you. He’s a prick but pretty sure that’s a shell. Probably didn’t need to tell you that. So, my point is, you’re off soon as is he. If you want to make your feelings known before you go, you’ve got my blessing.”

Kevin tapped his empty bottle against the railing on the balcony of Rodri’s house where the post-season celebration was underway.

“Think on it. You deserve to be happy,” Kevin said before whispering, “even if it’s with a prick.”

You laughed, “thanks, Kev, but I am already happy.”

Later that night, as the party fragmented, you found yourself with Jamie through it all. Whether it was playing darts as a team or having a chat about your years ahead with him off to Richmond and you across the world to Australia, you two were joined at the hip.

You excused yourself for the bathroom and found what Kevin had said weighing heavily on your mind. Snap out of it, you repeated over and over in your head.

It had all been too much. Sitting with Jamie all night after Kevin went home to Michele and the boys. Then, playing snooker together had really taken its toll. He had been so incredibly nice despite how terrible you had been. He quietly praised you and even hugged you when you pocketed a ball. You had been overwhelmed and it did not help that you had been drinking since noon.

So, when you emerged from the bathroom to find him there, boring his eyes into yours as he checked up on you, you found yourself succumbing to the urge to kiss him. And while Jamie knew he was not supposed to, since when did Jamie listen to rules?

-

For the first month or so that you were away, you kept up some communication with Jamie. The occasional message commenting on each other’s Instagram pictures. Then, Jamie noticed that the messages became less frequent and a lot more distant. At some point, he realised you never initiated conversation anymore and he would never admit it but it broke his heart.

So, Jamie did the usual Jamie thing of covering it up by fucking the next fit model he met - Keeley Jones.

-

It had been four years, four long years. You had spent all of it overseas, not once did you return to England because why would you?

Your family had dispersed as everyone had grown up. Sure, your parents did still live in England. They had moved to Oxford since your dad retired and your mum received an offer to continue her research at the university there but if anyone understood being away for work, it was them. Your own sisters had long left England with one moving to Germany with her husband after he had been transferred there and the other moving to Canada for her own career. So, your move to Australia was almost expected. Anticipated. Celebrated, even

It sounded harsh but it was true. Your parents had had you late in life and you were completely aware you had been an accident, a little blip in their perfectly planned out lives. Mum was always busy with her research while Dad spent the bulk of his time working away as legal counsel for a big multinational corporation. Much of your time growing up had been spent with your grandparents. You would have dropped everything and returned to England for them in a heartbeat but they had both passed not long after you had graduated so in a way, there was no family to visit in England.

Friends-wise, a good chunk of them were similarly gallivanting around the world. Otherwise, they were starting families like Kevin and that was just not where you were at in life. And, it was not like you did not want to start a family. You almost had but then, it had not quite worked out that way. Which was incidentally a big part of the reason why you had avoided England, despite every excuse you used to justify travelling around Asia Pacific instead of going anywhere near the UK.

You were horrified when you had been called into your boss’ office to be offered a promotion which required your immediate repatriation back to England.

“What about that role in Amsterdam we discussed? There was also that role in Tokyo since Masuda is leaving?”

“Yes but I think you’ll find this offer much more attractive.”

And you had. These roles came about once in a blue moon, usually because of a retirement (on occasion, it had been due to a person’s demise but no one talked about that). You knew you had to take it but you also knew it meant being back in England which you had avoided for good reason. But, maybe, there was enough distance between London and Manchester. They were not separated by an ocean but a few hours would be far enough. Afterall, his loan should be over by now.

That was what you repeated to yourself, trying to reassure yourself each moment you felt the panic grip you. It worked until you encountered a bus on your way to work one morning with an advertisement for some stupid dating app called Bantr. It was absolutely not something you were interested in but the familiar face on the ad caught your eye. You took a second look and you were immediately confronted with an image of Jamie Tartt in a Richmond kit.

Oh fuck, you might have made a minor miscalculation. You googled him as soon as you were on the tube to work and slumped into the seat when you realised he had signed to Richmond.

Almost nine million people in London, surely you could go without seeing him.

-

master list | chapter 1 >

[lasshoe]

sorry to that man (brendan hunt) but i’m still choosing to believe the ending montage was a dream sequence so buckle up bc here’s why:

in the pilot episode ted tells beard that if they see each other in their dreams to goof around a little bit, so right off the bat there is a thinly veiled insinuation of some light magical realism and then of course the line about ted not being able to sleep on planes

so moving to the finale, ted was having serious doubts about leaving but wanted to believe it was the right thing to do, so this sets up the montage as his imagined, best-case scenarios and a kind of martyr-ism that he envisions for everyone he left behind to tell himself they’ll be fine without him

getting into it, we seen him go through each character with whom he had a real connection with in richmond:

rebecca: he could have heard about the dutch man from her or keeley so he imagines a rebecca getting sleepless in seattle type meet cute after he just mentioned a classic romcom "leave-cute" to her in the airport paired with the previous episode mentioning that SiS is his favorite ephron film, so it makes sense to want the "best" for rebecca’s life after him. (also worth noting that hannah even says in this interview to her that it feels like more of a possibility and a hint that she’s letting new love into her life but not a definitive ending. which also lol)

beard: he literally leaves the plane because he loves jane so ted concocts the weirdest, most surreal wedding between them in stonehenge that beard had mentioned them going to in the christmas episode, and because it feels so bizarre and almost incomprehensible but ted does wants to imagine him living his best beard-appropriate life

roy: he clearly respects him so much, enough to imagine him as the new coach of AFC Richmond, but understands roy’s inability to open up and how that could hinder his success professionally and personally, exactly as it did for him, and so then imagines bringing doctor sharon back to help him work through it and even imagines an army man to protect him because he never got a chance to give roy one himself. (sharon is also wearing green in this dream which is associated with safety re: the toy soldiers.) this one is also interesting bc roy opened up about his last season at chelsea saying that he wish he’d stuck around and just have fun rather than quit and leave but ted ends up doing exactly that—quitting and leaving

jamie: he imagines jamie reconciling with his father, clearly projecting that he never got a chance to do it with his own. we’ve always seen how jamie and his relationship with his father has brought out ted's own complicated feelings of fatherhood so it makes sense in ted’s dream scenario for him to gloss over the fact and create an happy, to him, vision of reconciliation

nate: nate being integrated back into the coaching staff and having a rich full life is all ted ever wished for him. we never really saw him arrive at the choice to truly forgive him but we understand through the scene with beard that he obviously did, and again in nate's return and his apology

sam: he truly does believe he’ll make the nigerian team one day, since he mentioned it back in season one after saying he was homesick and after not making it this season. also thought it was interesting we got no resolution with simi at sam’s restaurant which further proves it’s a dream because ted isn’t privy to that relationship, only we the audience are

keeley/rebecca: the women’s league is totally something he (and all of us) could see them doing together and i love that he imagines their personal and professional bond continue in something that is so special for both of them. he would have loved that :')

mae/the pub boys: he has just learned that rebecca sold 49% of the club back to the fans so of course he dreams that mae and the boys get their part of the shares since it’s a place that was a home to people who care deeply for AFC richmond and had warmed up and welcomed him in as well

trent: in another classic ted way, in trying to distance himself from the community in order to make peace with his decision to return to kansas, he imagines that trent took his advice and changed the title of the book from "the lasso way" to "the richmond way" which only makes sense in dream ted’s head because he can’t objectively define the impact he’s had on richmond and instead deflects it back to the community. but trent is a professional and in his objective opinion i truly believe he would stick to his original thesis that these changes and this coaching philosophy is 100% because of ted

roy/keeley/jamie: the last shot of him observing them together mirrors how he saw them after the man city game, and again, he’s not aware of the current dynamics between them so at the higgins' barbecue he imagines them as he last remembered them, happy, but not explicitly together in any specific coupling combination

higgins: of course he wants to imagine his found family still hanging out and actively being a found family outside of the club and he has fond memories of being at the higgins house with the whole gaggle at christmas, so this vignette is almost an amalgamation of all his best wishes come together, really working overtime to sell the idea that they will be happy without him

ADDITIONALLY we’ve also seen a flash forward used as a device in the show before in 212. but there we got specific time cards to let us know when it’s happening. in the finale, it’s much more abstract as a montage (you could even say lynchian, which the official ted lasso twitter account mentioned here) which is another reason to believe it could be a dream

then of course ted waking up after this sequence and just then arriving back to kansas and henry? it was only several hours vs. the weeks? months? years? that seemed to have passed in the dream sequence? the show doesn’t ever sway from its linear storytelling, so it's logical to show all of that while ted is sleeping because it’s not real and doesn’t affect the timeline, but for those who want that closure offers up possibilities of where the characters could end up through the filter of ted’s imagination

[chucktaylorupset]

9 People to Get to Know Better (Tag Game)

tagged by @immortaljailor thanks for tossing me a free one, badumtss

3 ships you like:

Kabru x Laius Touden (Dungeon Meshi) Autistic narrative foils who fuck. One is a blond bombshell of a knight and the other is a short king (well, not literally, but). I love ships where one is like, internally tearing apart their mental furniture about their dick getting them into this situation, and the other one is like hee hoo i love you!

Keeley Jones x Roy Kent x Jamie Tartt (Ted Lasso) Everyone here is hot and prone to hilarious stupidity. Roy is almost definitely internally screeching about willingly sticking his dick in Jamie.

Louis de Pointe du Lac x Daniel Molloy (Interview With the Vampire (TV)) Listen. Listen I know the entire point of this show is that Louis does not get better with every old man he hooks up with. I know that. But hear me out: third try's the charm

First ship ever:

This memory could not be retrieved. If you go in my blog archive, Cassian Andor x Bodhi Rook (Rogue One) is there pretty early tho

Last song you heard:

all eyes on me - bo burnham transposed to his original voice the way this hits different than the original haunts me

Favorite childhood book:

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Waterson I don't know which volume, we owned a lot when I was growing up, but my dad would read them to me and my sister, and he would do voices. It made reading the hamster huey and the gooey kablooey comic very meta. The irony is I was very much a Susie growing up, and now I am nearly ideologically identical to Calvin. I did like the jokes, but also I just really liked Hobbes because he was a tiger.

Currently reading:

TCGF book 1 recommended by @sidecharactersdomatter, just want to be able to hang out in the same fandom/narrative spaces Babel by R.F. Kuang, given to me by a friend

Currently consuming:

Dungeon meshi anime, the magnus protocol kinda? I'm behind on both. I have a bunch of series I have ADHD wandered away from like the Bear s2, despite it being very good. I have entered the workforce and the things I do has decreased to focus on facillitating that. It is very sad.

Currently craving:

More Labru. More blonde bombshell knight bottoming. I know the labru fandom has mercifully universally agreed that the tall one gets to be the bottom this time, but I need more! (i have more, i just lack the mood and the willpower to write. i should probably post the concepts as bullet fics)

we're going to my extended family's soon for a belated lunar new year and i wanna eat my ba ngoais curry and the family egg rolls. let's GOOO

my mood's been in a gully lately but i wanna get back to the part where i'm ENERGIZED and DOING THINGS and it's not SO FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE

Tagging:

@sidecharactersdomatter, @fratgrl, @unbenchthekench @captainjonnitkessler @liesmyth @belovedblabber @professorsparklepants @twyrrinren @dabidagoose and anyone else who wants to join in!

[remember-the-hurt]

Putting the thread I wrote on Twitter on here so I can reblog it when Tedbecca is endgame💜

——————————————————

Why Tedbecca IS what the show has been setting up since the beginning:

- “what if I did get on there (Bantr) and I met my soulmate and it changed the whole course of my life?” // “this job you gave me has changed my life”

- REBECCA was (for a brief period of time) supposed to be at Ted’s door in 1x07 but the writers decided that their relationship should be protected and that a one night stand should never happen.

- The parallels in this ep were NOT needed. They could have shown Sassy at Ted’s door and here we go, Ze End. But they WANTED us to think it was Ted.

- Same thing for the cut in 2x05: both fake outs came at a moment when it would have been AWFUL for them to get together. Literally NO Tedbecca shipper wanted them together in S2, please no. Neither of them is ready, it would have been a horrible mess. The editors said that the philosophy in the editing room is “plant and pay off”: the fakeouts are here because Tedbecca IS happening. In writing, you don’t foreshadow things that won’t happen. And the writers ain’t the GoT writers, they’re not here for twists to trick the audience. The cut from Rebecca to Ted in 205 is absolutely criminal but if the writers really wanted to show a platonic relationship, they wouldn’t bother with these kinds of fakeouts: they just wouldn’t show anything that would as much as *imply* T/R could be romantic. But they do, because they want the audience to consider it, and it’s something we can go back to when they kiss. Like “oh yeah, they foreshadowed it TWICE, that’s right.

- The way they *see* each other better than everyone else ?? Rebecca was the only one to notice Ted wasn’t okay in 2x04 and 2x06, Ted arrived at the church right when she needed him... and that’s just 3 examples.

- The parallel scene in 2x10... they are LINKED by something that happened 30 years ago on the same day at the same time. When they didn’t know each other and were on different sides of the Atlantic. Both their lives changed this day: they both lost their fathers. They are SOULMATES. And no, not platonic soulmates, although they ARE just friends now. This is not what this is about here: if they wanted to show us platonic soulmates, they wouldn’t have kept them separate for most of S2. They would have shown them being ✨besties✨. They are NOT best friends. WHY this need for distance? Because they are connected in such a deep way that if they were left alone, they couldn’t hide. They would see right through each other.

- the way Rebecca reacts to seeing Ted in a suit in 104? Ma’am… why even show us that she finds him attractive if it won’t come back? It will come back.

- Ted looking like a kicked puppy after Rebecca leaves his office after the 211 truth bomb…

- They’re not ready for dating in S2: Jason said “if you have some things you need to work on, maybe going to the dating scene isn’t the best place to find it”. None of the relationships they started this season could last.

- We have PLENTY of m/f platonic friendships on the show: Ted/Keeley (which we thought was gonna turn romantic for a brief moment, remember? THAT’s a subverted trope here), Rebecca/Roy, Rebecca/Higgins, Rebecca/Beard... so the argument of “omg let a man and a woman be friends” just doesn’t stand. And anyway, the best romantic relationships start with friendship. It’s literally the most solid foundation you could ever find. You think they’re just gonna find love randomly offscreen? Sorry to tell you but that’s not how screenwriting works.

- Brett RTd this article and said it was “excellent”.

- One of the producers quoted this Tedbecca fancam with this... of ALL the “lightning” tweets??

- I love Rebecca with all my heart and I just know that she cannot and will not end up alone. She was in an abusive relationship for 12 years and I don’t believe for one second that the writers would not give her a romantic happy ending. She IS gonna find her lightning, this speech by Roy was not a throwaway moment. She’s been shown as longing for romance and partnership multiple times now. This woman won’t end up alone romantically, and if you think she should you understand neither the show not it’s character.

- Ted and Rebecca’s future partners simply have to be each other: can you imagine dating someone who said someone else was their soulmate? And this someone else saw them better than anyone else ? And this someone brought them homemade biscuits every day? And this someone looked exactly like their celebrity crush?

- Our beloved creator himself read this excellent thread and liked the winking gif😌

- thank you Anthony, thank you Han!

- the men Rebecca dated in S2 all add up to Ted: John is age appropriate and “not shy”, Luca is handsome, and Sam is kind. And they’re all nice to her. Who in the show is age appropriate, handsome, kind, not shy, and nice to her? Ted, Bingo el ringo!

- Finally, the Higginses, who Jeremy said are intentionally the model couple of the show, are paralleled to Tedbecca multiple times.

Ted: “You and the missus, y’all have been together a while yeah?”

Higgins: “28 years” (105)

vs

Higgins, to Rebecca : “I’ve been married to her for 29 years” (205)

Higgins to Ted: “When you’re with the right person, even the hard times are easy” (105)

vs

Higgins to Rebecca: “I suppose the best brand is just… being yourself” (205)

In 301, Rebecca mentioned Ted spitting water all over her face with Higgins right there.

Higgins, who met his wife after he spilt his beer all over himself. Enough said!

- I’ll let Brett have the last word:

Interviewer (around S1) : “I never thought that they could be together”

Brett: becomes this emoji😬

[itwoodbeprefect]

8, 13, and 18 for the writing asks <333

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

this is from How To Build A Triangle (or accidentally fall headlong into one, or whatever the fuck), and i also used part of this for the fic description because it seemed good at getting the vibe and point of the story across, but i like this whole section! it's funny, it's in character, and i love when i manage to write myself into a position where i can do a few bare lines of a conversation with no description or dialogue tags like at the end here, and it still fits and makes sense. (also. this is not technically a dialogue thing, but "Roy crosses his arms harder, and then uncrosses them, holding them stiffly at his sides to project friendliness" still manages to make me laugh, which is pretty magical, because my own writing usually loses that ability pretty quickly purely because i know all the jokes. i just have such a vivid image for this in my head.)

Once he has Roy where he wants him, Jamie doesn’t copy Roy’s folded arms pose again, like he did last time. He just demands, “Look, if we’re both going to pursue Keeley, we need to be totally honest with each other.”

“Alright,” Roy says, because that makes a lot of sense. It sounds very healthy, too. Like something that would make Keeley proud, and would also make her life a little easier, because they’re sorting their own shit out now. He’s all for all of those things.

“Brutally honest,” Jamie says, as if he’s still trying to get the point across. “No more secrets.”

Roy stares at him. “Yes. I know what words mean.”

“Okay,” Jamie says, and then he says, “I talked to Keeley about maybe being bisexual because that night we fought over her I wasn’t just jealous about her.”

Roy sort of wishes he could go back in time, maybe five or ten seconds, and say with his full lungs, fuck no, let’s lie our arses off. Instead, in this reality where mankind has invented Roombas but no time machines yet, he says, “Uh.”

Jamie shifts, and now he does cross his arms, loosely. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna try something, or anything.”

Roy crosses his arms harder, and then uncrosses them, holding them stiffly at his sides to project friendliness. “I’m not worried. Fuck that.”

“I’m just being nice.”

“Yeah, well, don’t.”

“Fine, I’ll stop.”

“Good.”

“Wanker,” Jamie says, frightfully affectionately.

Not frightful because Roy secretly does think Jamie’s gonna try something, or anything, but just because it makes him realise he feels the same way. Fucking friendship.

-

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

i already gave show don't tell a shout out, so, hmm. i think a cheatcode i use often and that's nearly always stupidly effective at making a short piece of writing feel like it has some sort of point and is wrapped up neatly is to reread the start (and middle) and figure out a way to refer back to, well, literally anything. could be a bit of dialogue, a specific feeling, an action, a metaphor. if possible give it a little twist this second time, or show how something about it has changed, but if that's tough, literally just calling back to it can still work wonders. this may seem sort of obvious and most people probably do it automatically often enough, but it can be worth considering very intentionally, especially if it's hard to find an ending/last lines to a fic. this can also make a piece of writing appear way more calculated than it ever was while writing, which is fun, because you get to stumble your way into seeming clever.

-

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

generally my fic is so short that the easiest way for me to keep track of everything is to just reread it in its entirety when needed, so not really! which is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, because there's definitely a cycle going that looks something like i write short fic because i don't need to do fic bookkeeping > i don't learn fic bookkeeping because i write short fic > i write short fic because etc.

[destinationtoast]

So, about that trailer scene in Jamie's bedroom.

Okay, I get why people might look at where Roy & Keeley are seated in the trailer and wonder whether Jamie’s childhood bedroom is making an appearance because something bad has happened to one of his parents, and they're accompanying him for support.  But what if it’s for other reasons?

What if Jamie takes Roy & Keeley home to meet his mum, like to Meet His Mum, because they've all been seeing each other for a while now?  And he's never felt serious enough about anyone to do that before -- except for Keeley, and she broke up with him before he could.  But now he has another chance to introduce her, along with Roy fucking Kent, his childhood hero.  But he's worried about how his mum will take it, especially the Roy Kent part, because Roy is a man (though it's always been his dad who made all the shitty comments about men who are like that, hasn't it, but he and his mum have never talked about it at all).  And because Roy is a bit of an asshole, isn't he, even if Jamie's learned to take it affectionate-like most of the time by now.  Not to mention that Roy swears like someone who’s just noticed that all the curse words are about to expire tomorrow and have to be used up fast.  And because, even if all of that is somehow okay, Roy is a third person in what Jamie always imagined would be just him and one other person coming home to meet his mum.

Except Roy isn't the third, is he?  Jamie's the third.  And even though Jamie keeps giving Keeley and Roy hot threesomes, really scorching, and even though they keep saying they keep wanting to see him, he keeps half-expecting it all to go pear-shaped.  All his relationships have before.  So why did he even invite them home to meet his mum when it might just all end tomorrow?  That would be embarrassing, like. 

He invited them because he loves them both, he's pretty sure.  He hasn't said it -- because when do you say that, especially when there's two of them, and when you're not sure if saying it might even be the thing that causes it to go pear-shaped, and because you might just be a bit of fun for them both.  But when his mum called to invite him around and said, too casually, that he could always bring someone along if he ever wanted, he had just been in the middle of recovering from that realization – the one about loving Roy and Keeley both – and it suddenly felt like it made sense to say okay, he would.  

And when he’d asked Roy and Keeley to come with him, they’d first seemed worried and asked if his mum was okay, and he didn’t really know how to explain.  So he’d just told them that he didn’t want to drive that far alone, because it’s boring, and they’d teased him but also said yes.  It had felt like a victory, in the moment.

But now here they are, all getting out of the car in front of his mum, and he’s imagining through her eyes.  And he sees when Roy gets out of the car last that it’s like watching a football match that suddenly goes into a third half.  All awkward-shaped with no explanation, and not how things are supposed to work.  And he’s wondering what she must be thinking of them – of him.  

He finds himself shoving past his mum instead of doing introductions like he’d intended.  They’re all trying to say hello to each other in spite of his failure, and his mum’s trying to hug him and to invite them all in, but he dodges past her like it’s some kind of play, and he literally pushes Roy and Keeley into the house and up the stairs toward his old room, doesn’t he?  And then he’s alone and stammering something to his mum –  his face is red, and his blood is surging in his ears, and he can’t even hear the story he’s telling her – and then he leaves her and flees.  

And now he’s shutting the door to his old bedroom behind him.  He looks at Roy and Keeley, and they are a single unit, holding hands on his old bed, staring at him expectantly.  And he doesn’t have the first idea what to say or do next.

...What if that?

[lunar-years]

I love your insight into Roy and Nate and think there could've been some great stuff there, but I disagree about Roy thinking Nate has to be protected or at least caring about protecting him. Roy only sticks up for him because of Ted and the book from Ted. Roy was ignoring the bullying of Nate for 6+ months. They barely interact in season two other than when Nate kisses Keeley and Roy doesn't care.

ooh i think this is partially a case of me thought dumping in my post and not exactly being the most clear or concise, lol, because I mostly agree with you about all of this!

I don't think Roy cares about protecting Nate until the time it becomes convenient to him/his journey (hence my line about Roy swooping in when it fits his agenda, and not a second before, lol. Nor does he make any attempt to actually connect to Nate or help him find new footing with the team afterwards. It's very much 'well they've stopped putting their hands on him everyday in the locker room so that's my job well done. back to paying no attention to him!').

I think maybe we're meant to believe that Roy was just sooo checked out as Captain that he wasn't being the leader he *normally* was/had once been, and the book/Ted are what prompts him to reconnect with that part of himself and start caring enough to finally do what he's long known needs to be done.

But I think it's only partially that, and partially that Roy IS a hotshot who generally doesn't pay attention or give a shit about the kitman, and also that there's a very real part of him that thinks Nate is sort of pathetic for not standing up for himself. So when I say "Roy thinks Nate needs protecting" I mean that in a "Roy is being very patronizing" kind of way. I think it is very connected, honestly, to Roy's experience as a young boy at the Academy. I can't remember if there's actually a line about this in canon, so this may be verging into headcanon territory lol, but it feels at least strongly hinted at (imo, given how strongly he hates phoebe's and henry's bullies) that Roy was bullied as a kid by virtue of being the youngest kid there, which contributed to both his early anger and his learning to fight back. He had to harden himself to survive, and he did so by quickly becoming competent at making himself intimidating and unafraid to give as good as he got, making himself the bigger threat by overt macho bravado. I think with Nate in season 1, there's definitely an aspect for Roy of like, "I could stand up for myself when I was 9, and here's this grown man who can't stand up to other adults. how sad."

Him barely interacting with Nate in season 2 despite them literally having the same job and that job being one of collaboration at that is all a part of it! Nate thinks Roy brushes him off and doesn't pay him the time of day because Roy's an arrogant famous asshole who had the job handed to him by virtue of being rich and famous and ted liking him, rather than real merit. Which is sort of true (until the last part!) But Roy's problems are also much deeper than that and are rooted more in insecurity and self-hatred than his ego (he hates his anger, for one, and the ego is largely a mask for the self-hatred). And he tells Keeley openly in s3 (in the scene where they tell Phoebe they broke up) that he doesn't feel competent with the strategy side of things as a coach now that Nate's gone, which is surely something he's also had brewing in season 2.

It's like, Roy doesn't respect Nate because he thinks Nate is spineless and sort of pathetic (an unkind and unfair judgement, because it's not coming from a place of trying to actually understand Nate, but rather projecting his own insecurities), and he justifies that unfair judgement with Nate's very real actions, such as Nate ratting on Ted, running out on the team and going to Rupert, etc, (fully valid reasons not to respect Nate). On the other hand, Nate doesn't respect Roy because he thinks Roy's got this amazing life handed to him, whether it be by luck and innate talent or whatever (looks, money, a great career, a gorgeous girlfriend) and Roy is too stupid to even appreciate that he has any of it (again, an unfair and unkind judgement not coming from a place of trying to understand Roy or where he's coming from, but rather projecting his own insecurities into the situation). And he justifies the unfair judgement in fair criticisms of Roy's actions, like Roy not treating him with equal footing at work and Roy's micro-aggressions in the scene about the Keeley kiss.

I don’t any of these judgements results in overt hatred for one another, either. Obviously that’s not what we see on the screen. It’s more like, indifference/distaste on Roy’s part and stewing bitterness he can’t quite name on Nate’s part. Idk.

So I do think there was enough set-up there for them to do something interesting with them in season 3, even though yes they absolutely don't interact much onscreen.

[caapsiizzereads]

Are you taking Keeley requests??? Because she gets no love on here and I’d love to see something where they’re trying to keep their relationship on the DL and reader accidentally shows up to work wearing keeley’s jacket or something and it’s so obvious that it’s Keeleys style that everyone goes crazy

YES YES YES she deserves all the love in the world and i will give to her myself if i have to.

You and Keeley are both getting ready for work when you stand behind her to give her a kiss on the cheek while she’s finishing her makeup.

“Do you mind if I borrow your jacket?” Your outfit is lacking a statement piece.

“Sure, babe! Take your pick!”

You notice a few eyes on you as soon as you walk into the office. You know why they are looking. The pink jacket with red hearts on it just screams Keeley Jones, especially in contrast with the neutrals that you usually wear. And it was an absolutely intentional choice.

Keeley wants to keep your relationship private for now, workplace relationship and all that stuff, and you respect her wishes, even if you don’t really see what’s the problem there. So what if the CEO and the COO are fucking? You’d say it’s a win for women all the way. But whatever, if Keeley wants to keep it lowkey, you’ll play along. And you will have your fun with it along the way.

One of your favorite entertainments is incorporating all kinds of innuendos into your business talk and watching Keeley blush (she also choked on her drink once, and you had to take it down a notch after that).

You exploit the hell out of people’s reluctance to acknowledge the existence of queer women too. You can hug Keeley publicly, you can kiss her on the cheek, give her all kinds of suggestive compliments, go out for lunch every day in broad daylight, and people will still see you just as two close girl friends. They have no idea exactly how close you are. But you two know, and it makes each of these interactions so much more fun.

And now you get to stride through the office wearing your girlfriend’s jacket. Because close girl friends share their clothes with each other. Especially if they have such impeccable fashion sense.

“You know that everyone can totally tell that you’re wearing Keeley’s jacket, right?” Barbara says to you when you join your little boss ladies meeting. She is one of the few people who knows about you and Keeley.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” Keeley pretends that she doesn’t find it amusing, but you both know she gets as much kick out of it as you do.

“Relax, everyone thinks that I just borrowed a jacket from my totally platonic bff,” your last words are laced with sarcasm.

“Actually, Ben from accounting suspects that you’re sleeping with each other,” Barbara chimes in.

“It’s ‘cause he’s gay,” you state.

“I thought he’s married?!”

“Yeah, to a man,” Keeley chuckles.

“My gay radar is super off.”

“No shit,” you and Keeley laugh.

After you discuss all the work related matters, Barbara leaves the two of you alone. Keeley tints the glass of the office walls, and you sit on the table in front of her.

“I overbooked my four o’clock,” she whines miserably.

“Yeah, that’s why I already handled the copyright claim thing,” you smirk at her.

Keeley’s face instantly softens. “What would I do without you?” she smiles sweetly at you.

“Suffer,” you deadpan. No, literally, before Jack hired you for the firm, Keeley was drowning in things she needed to do, when in reality what she actually needed was a good COO. It just turned out that you were good at more than just your job.

“Wanna go out for dinner tonight?” she offers.

“I’ll get us a table at that Thai place you like.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you get things done,” Keeley grins excitedly.

“Getting things done is literally my job,” you say with a fascinated smile.

“And you’re always so fucking hot,” she leans in closer to you, and you bend down to give her a kiss.

“I’ll meet you at mine?”

“Mhm,” she nods happily. “Maybe I can borrow something of yours to wear tomorrow too?”

“That can be arranged,” you wink at her on your way out.

[time-is-restored]

more whinging bc i got negative hours of sleep last night and i need to stay awake somehow lol

cw: discussions of misogyny + abuse

god the more i think abt it the more exhausted i get by the gender politics of ted lasso.

like god i do genuinely think that rebecca's arc in s1 is one of the best depictions of a mean + cruel woman ive ever seen on TV specifically bc it manages to thread the needle so well? like they never tilt her balance too much and doom her to being either totally fucked up + evil OR totally soft and sweet and harmless. and ted's 'divorce makes u crazy' response to her apology STILL makes me crazy wrt the sheer. understanding and empathy there, and she's just. given so much more depth than ive come to expect, especially for an ensemble cast sitcom w a (then) p short run time.

but my fucking god. we literally don't learn a fucking thing about michelle. im pretty sure the one (1) concrete thing we know about her comes in the fucking finale, and it's that she's a teacher for... something. the two most important people in ted's life and we don't know anything abt them! they're literally just empty symbols representing the importance of Family™, and that vacancy does nothing but weigh ted's storyline down!

like, i liked michelle's episode/storyline in s1, bc the blinding novelty of a woman instigating a divorce not being the Actual Devil, as well as a just. generally very empathetic + nuanced take on how divorce shakes out between two ppl who really care for each other, was so 'WAIT TV CAN DO THIS??' that i felt satisfied with that being Her Arc™. divorce happens, life happens, people fall out of love, and it hurts but its ultimately okay. the show, at the time, was ultimately abt a football club and how caring abt that football club helped everyone around it.

but then the show sticks around, and her continued absence just... raises a lot of questions? how did the conversation abt ted going overseas happen? what conversations did they have abt henry? how long term was it intended to be? did money really not factor into it all? like it's one thing for a character's backstory to be vague when it's not really the focus of attention (s1 was ultimately rebecca's story before anyone else's), but when it's the load bearing stone of their '''''''arc''''''' in s3...????

like. god. and then it fucking infects every other woman on the show!

sassy + nora? well sure we'll give you a softball - you can have one (1) scene where a woman is able to resolutely and firmly reject a man asking her out without immediately being seen as cruel or gameplayey (not that the audience will see it that way! she's already a lecherous temptress for them!), but neither of them will ever be able to speak to rebecca onscreen again, even after the heart-wrenching scenes in s1 CLEARLY establishing them as a beating heart of rebecca's arc.

shandy? nope, don't even think abt her motivations/drives, just forget her. simi? LMAOOO imagine a black woman getting a personality beyond righteous anger. jack? three-four episodes, and we learn so little abt her that her conflict with keeley - which SHOULD'VE have been a huge emotional beat - just feels like a kick in the teeth (and while, yes, i absolutely agree that in a real world context, jack's rejection of keeley would be largely motivated by class, in Ted Lasso Land™ rebecca is just as rich - if not richer? - and we're never once encouraged to interrogate her priorities).

barbara's the one that really makes me miserable, bc i feel like on a show with less run time, she could've played REALLY well. she's a great contrast to keeley, has an amazing delivery, and the scene where keeley + her first discuss the snowglobes shows that she has the potential for some really moving vulnerability + pathos. but instead they give SO many of keeley's scenes to characters who ultimately get written out, so when barbara stays it's like... okay? sure? like, i was so stoked that barbara survived the Mass Exodus of side characters that i didn't wanna look the gift horse in the mouth but... wasn't the last thing we saw of her and keeley's relationship like. general resentment + distrust abt the shandy debacle? when did that improve? how???

i don't think i'll ever have enough mental real estate to explain how disappointed keeley + rebecca's 'arcs' in s3 made me, and at least there's the saving grace that. virtually no one other than jamie got a coherent arc this season, so at least it was on some levels an egalitarian screw up. but fuck dude. keeley was just forced to react to bad things that were happening to her, and we got to see her do her job (which, unbelievably, does actually involve things other than being an awkward manager!) precisely one (1) time.

i even like rebecca's arc on paper - i think it's really cool to see a character backslide so intensely in terms of obsessing over and struggling to come to terms w a past relationship, especially an abusive one, bc like. yeah! that shit sticks with you for longer than a season! and beyond that, seeing her regain her sense of self and what SHE actually gives a shit about was oftentimes just as sweet as s1. but her scenes were poorly connected, and she had to carry WAY too much of a burden as the Resident Speech Giver for any of her internal characterisation to make sense. like, sorry, but it's kind of hard to believe a character's Going Through It™ when they have to spent near 100% of their screen time giving Take It From Me, Kid, speeches. and then she's not even given a real opportunity TO fuck up + sabotage her relationships, even when she starts getting really weird w ted! it's all just so meaningless and like nothing that she does is ever going to matter. she never speaks to zava again, we don't get to see her interact w bex or kate, her pleas to ted get COMPLETELY shut down...

but the thing that REALLY makes me sick is this complete lack of interiority absolutely butchers the characters of jade + jane, who are otherwise RIFE with potential. like, jade is a completely unflinching, unapologetic asshole to nate + his family, and that's never interrogated. even in Sitcom Land™, it's more than reasonable to view jade's actions as racist, especially when she doesn't give the same treatment to others (at least not as i recall? honestly i usually watch the taste of athens scenes while peeking out behind my hands, so i could 100% be wrong here). and yet, suddenly, and completely inexplicably, she's charmed by nate. she wants to give him the time of day. she finds him attractive, and wants to date him, and generally take control of his life and force him into a decision that is literally the exact opposite of what he expressed wanting to do. except even that LAST thing isn't allowed to be interrogated, bc god FORBID a woman is enough of a fully realised creation to actually be culpable of the terrible shit they do!

and fucking jane??? beard's so head-over-heels for this woman that the emotional abuse + extremely controlling tendencies don't even make him bat an eye, and we don't get to know anything about her? she's literally just the suggestion of an alluring woman! good at sex! good at chess! fuck you if you wanna know more, even though the show ENDLESSLY hits you over the head with how painful their relationship is for beard - beard who is given virtually no other storyline. like, i literally can't read brendan's refusal to label jane as abusive as anything other than like. that bio-essentialism shit where ppl 'women are better than men <3' so hard that they end up genuinely and wholeheartedly arguing that someone's sex defines their morals - or worse, that their sex is a deciding factor in determining whether someone's actions are good or bad. not context, but a legitimate 'add points if woman, take away points if man' variable.

like that's so feminism 101 it's legitimately almost worse than nothing. that's like getting as far as 'hey so you know how we're all inundated with both implicit + explicit messaging abt what is Valued and Good for women vs men to-' before shoving ur earplugs in and going 'if you are oppressed by society we'll automatically stamp a 'good person' label on ur head and now we don't have to think abt any of our biases + internalised beliefs ever again <333'. the most useless and fucking pointless stand against the patriarchy ever, especially coming from the same show that ENDLESSLY slots characters into the 'loving gf/wife' archetype and then give them Literally Nothing Else. my comrades you have literally just done madonna/whore 2: oops all madonnas! this is not liberation!!!! this is a miserable cage!!!!!!!!!

im just. higgins' wife. mae. trent's daughter and anonymous 'her'. the women at the hotel and the restaurants and the firm and the fucking physios, fuck - dani's gfs! who are they? what do they want? where do they go when the camera stops rolling? can anyone hear me?? hello??? hello???? brendan hunt i am OUTSIDE YOUR HOUUUUUUSE

[its-time-to-write]

Hi there!! I’m the anon that requested the wedding date fic, which was absolutely fabulous, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to write about Jamie and reader’s wedding? It doesn’t need to be a continuation of that fic (and obviously you don’t need to write it if you’re not vibing with it!) I just thought it could be cute 💚

it took me a while to vibe with it, but I finally did!! Thanks for the request!

right words at the right time

“Don’t bite your nails!” your sister shrieks from across the room. You whip your hand out of your mouth. 

“I wasn’t,” you reply.

She raises an eyebrow. “Sure. Sure you weren’t. Here, eat something instead.”

“I can’t,” you say. “I’m too nervous. What if something goes wrong?”

“Like what?” Keeley asks from her position by the mirror. She slicks back a flyaway hair and dabs at the corner of her mouth.

“I dunno, what if- what if I trip? What if Ted forgets what he’s supposed to say? What if Jamie says no?”

Your sister and Keeley exchange a look.

“He’s the one who asked you,” Rebecca says before either of them can can snark back at you.

You’re still not convinced. “What if he’s changed his mind?” you ask worriedly.

Your sister bangs her head against the wall. You weren’t this nervous last night when you were out partying with the girls. None of the women in the room are quite sure what’s come over you.

“He hasn’t changed his mind,” Rebecca says in a placating tone. “Look at your hand. See that diamond? Does that look like something Jamie would forget about?”

“No,” you reply weakly. “But what if he wants it back? Or remembers that he’s famous and rich and I literally am neither of those things. I have a face that was made for the radio!”

“Oh my god,” you sister says, throwing her hands in the air. “He’s marrying you. Please calm the fuck down. You literally have to walk down the aisle in half an hour.”

Your nail is in your mouth again so Keeley reaches up and smacks it away.

She says, “Babes, I love you to fucking pieces, but you seriously need to calm down, yeah? It’s alright.”

There’s a knock on the door and you jump. 

“Almost ready?” Ted asks. “The boys are getting mighty anxious out there.”

‘The boys’ he’s referring to are the entirety of AFC Richmond, who may have been the reason this marriage is even happening. After all, it was Colin who swore he met the perfect person for Jamie and Dani who convinced you to go on a blind date. Sam provided the venue (obviously) and Isaac, Declan, and Richard made sure Jamie didn’t wear something stupid.

Rebecca opens the door a crack. “She’s getting mighty anxious in here.”

Ted frowns. “Pre-wedding jitters are normal, but you got nothing to worry about, darlin’. Two hundred of your closest friends and family are all here to support you on your big day.”

You blow out a breath. “More like thirty of my closest friends and family. The rest are for Jamie. Fuck’s sake, Ted, what am I doing? I shouldn’t be here. Do you know how much money he spent on this fucking wedding? It’s more than I make in two years. Don’t get me wrong, it’s literally my dream, but I just feel like I’m not going to measure up. He’s going to get bored of me sooner or later.”

Ted tilts his head and you feel oddly comforted under his scrutinizing gaze. “Alright, come with me,” he says after a moment of deliberation. “Everyone’s outside, I’m just gonna sneak you down the hall a little bit. You trust me?”

You nod and take his proffered arm. Your sister breathes, “Thank fuck,” as you leave, and you’re pretty sure you hear Keeley echo the sentiment.

Ted leads you to a door at the end of the hall and motions for you to stand against the wall, just out of sight. He knocks. 

“Jamie? You got a minute?”

The door opens and you clamp a hand over your mouth to keep from making noise. 

“Your girl’s having a bit of a pre-marital fright, so I brought her down to talk to ya. If you just sit down and stick your hand out the door, she can grab it and you won’t see her before you’re supposed to.”

Jamie says, “Sounds good, coach,” and his head is replaced by an arm. You stare at it for a minute before Ted motions you to grab Jamie’s hand. You sit down, back against the wall, and reach for Jamie who gives you a reassuring squeeze.

“Christ love, your hands are fucking sweaty,” he says and you can tell by his voice that he’s smiling.

Something about hearing him makes tears well up, and you sniff.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Jamie asks. “You crying because you’re so happy your husband is mad fit and mad rich?”

You say, “No. Well, kind of,” and it’s all Jamie can do not to break the stupid fucking tradition of not seeing the bride before she walks down the aisle.

“Tell me,” he says softly. Ted hands you a tissue and then retreats back where he came from.

You sniff. “I’m really excited to marry you. I really fucking am. It’s just- you’re so much, you know? It’s one of the things I love about you. And I’m not, not really. I’m just me, and I don’t want you to realize that you can do better.”

Jamie maneuvers your hand so he can press a kiss to your knuckles.

“You worry too much,” he says. “We’re doing this shit, for better or for worse, yeah? How do I know you won’t realize you can do better than me? Dump me for some fit nerd.”

“You are a fit nerd,” you laugh through tears. “Football nerd, but still a nerd.”

Jamie snorts. “Shit babe, you know how to make a bloke feel special.”

You’re both silent for a minute, taking comfort in the fact that the love of your life is on the other side of the door.

The moment is broken by Keeley’s appearance. 

“Time to go back into hiding, babe,” she says.

You sigh, and Jamie squeezes your hand one more time. “See you in a bit, love,” he says.

Keeley helps you off the floor and back down to the room.

“All good?” she asks. 

“All good,” you reply.

[jamiesfootball]

You said Jamie spends the off-season injured, is this because of something with his Dad and the aforementioned horrors or is it a coincidence in addition to the horrors? And if this is a spoiler you don’t want to share then I was never here.

Aw yessss! A question! I LOVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE THINGS I AM WRITING.

There are definitely some key developments that I am keeping under wraps, but I will Neil Gaiman that shit if it comes up. As it stands, this topic is very open for discussion! In fact, it comes up in the very next chapter-

cut for spoilers

So in this fic Jamie's injury is actually a holdover of the injury he got in Mom City. The top of his foot hit a very fast moving ball on a downward trajectory midair and hit at a very unfortunate angle. He's lucky he didn't break anything, but it did do some soft tissue damage (I am paraphrasing here because I have not put all of my medical jargon notes into order yet). It wasn't the worst injury to have, but it was definitely a 'safer to stay off it' injury. A 'you may want to take it easy' injury.

With West Ham and the final game literally around the corner, taking it easy wasn't an option, and everyone agreed to play him anyways.

So post-season comes around and Jamie is like 'thank fuck. I need a break. And Dani isn't in town, and even though I told Keeley I was sorry things still feel weird, and Roy and I just had a big weird fight so he probably could use a break from me. Good thing Isaac and Colin invited me to go on this weird history hike thing in Malta.'

And then he pops in for his post-season physical and upon seeing that he actually has even less range of movement in his ankle than he did immediately after getting injured, the physios break into Gollum-level amount of chanting 'my precious's and slap his foot in a walking brace for a minimum of two weeks. They have a regular amount of concern for What Will Happen To Them If Jamie Tartt's Foot Is Broken. A reasonable, regular, understandable amount of concern. Especially given who the new gaffer is.

This is a thing that becomes a big topic moving forward- how the physicality demanded by the sport means that most teams have players playing injured by the end of the season. For Richmond, it's not just Jamie's foot. It's also Dani's knee (the knee surgery that he left for is from ongoing complications from his original season one injury) and O'Brien's butt (again, an old injury) and Sam's legs (we'll pretend I've decided what injury just know he has one).

Then you add in someone like Roy, who now has permanent mobility issues with his knee. And he's the one in charge of all these fuckers now.

To complicate matters, their Total Football strategy largely and predominantly focuses on Jamie being able to play. And after the epic meltdown he had in the boot room, Roy is now very conscious of how goddamn lucky they were that they didn't completely burn him out last season. Hell, they're lucky they didn't burn out most of the first string.

So a big part of the Diamond Dogs strategy sessions ends up focusing on answering the question of what their plan is for the next year. Because they want to win the whole damn thing. Everyone wants to win the whole damn thing. They were so close. But also, as Roy already told Jamie in chapter one, that burn out thing? Yeah, that's not fucking happening again. Not on his watch.

Then, there's Jamie. Foot in a boot. Summer plans cancelled. Stuck in Richmond where the physios can poke at him. And he can't even use training as an excuse to go bother Roy because he can't train right now.

As for The Horrors, well. The message he sent to his dad weeks ago just flipped from 'sent' to 'read.' The Horrors in this case are overwhelmingly mental and emotional, because Jamie is doing what he thinks he was told to do. Forgive his dad. That is what he is trying to do. And it is eating him alive. It is grating him across the asphalt. He is tearing himself to pieces trying to make it happen. He is crawling over glass, trying to make himself do this thing that his mind is screaming at him not to do. And he is trying his best to be okay with it, but he is really really viscerally not okay.

That is The Horrors here.

[izzyspussy]

First time Jamie realizes he’s a girl soemtimes, go

Oh, I be cycling through ideas on this constantly, most of them almost entirely incoherent lmao. I'll slap together a Top Current 3 for ya right quick.

1. As A Child

I mean like a wee bairn. Like Phoebe's age. This is also pre- James "coming around" so it fully starts out as one of those feel good fluff pieces of yeah I always knew my parents did everything right I transitioned in kindergarten and all the neighbors applauded. You know. In this version, Jamie/Georgie picked the gender neutral nickname on purpose.

This one continues to not be an angst fest even when James does start coming around. Homophobia and transphobia go hand in hand with misogyny, so I'm certain James is those too. However he's also arrogant and careless, and if you add on substance abuse probably not very present.

So, for this one I'm saying James just... never knows lmfao. Jamie just fully consciously is like That's None of His Business and it's almost laughably easy to keep it from him, with very little distress on Jamie's part. Did you ever see ND Stevenson describe that being closeted was (for a while) like having a fun secret and every time someone used his assigned pronouns he felt like he was getting away with something? Like that.

Later, it doesn't so much feel like that for Jamie anymore just because as an adult and then especially as a famous adult he has to keep it on the down low much more extensively, somewhat in order to continue keeping it from James and somewhat to avoid the whole Circus due to the fame part (and also probably he has some vague worries about if he'd still be allowed to play in a men's sports league). It starts to feel a lot more like a closet that way.

But! That doesn't last very long either because James gets seen off after Wembley because fuck him and a yearlong streak of no contact is something to celebrate 🩷 + things went pretty great for Colin + fuck the haters + his environment is truly so full of love and support now it's back to the same level it was in the Before James times so it's easy all over again. He always knew and he transitioned in kindergarten and then he transitioned again at 25 and the football club applauded, etc.

2. Dating Keeley (the First Time)

The way Jamie in canon describes his relationship with Keeley, she was the first domino for him and Ted came second. She saw an even greater Jamie inside an already great Jamie, she made him cultured, she took him to plays and shit, and she taught him to stop getting in his own way as much.

And as per my interpretation, she also taught him at statistically significant amount about intimacy and sex. So... why not also gender?

His egg cracks in a totally mundane moment of non-sexual intimacy with Keeley at Keeley's house, maybe snuggled up on her couch with her furry pillows, maybe watching TV or maybe painting each other's nails or maybe she's reading to him or he's trying to make her laugh.

I think in this version he doesn't really officially Come Out to anybody. He just... starts being a girl sometimes. He's comfortable with his name and he's as comfortable with 'he' as he is with 'she' and that doesn't really change circumstantially. So he just sort of starts gradually incorporating whatever gender affirming stuff he likes into his daily life (both as a man and as a woman and as someone who has no strong feelings on the gender aspect but loves the performance, as relevant). It's literally just. A complete non-issue, once Jamie himself decides he's chill about it, which again happens pretty quickly after James shuffles off this narrative coil because Jamie is resilient and brave and proud and sucks up supportiveness like a sponge.

Roy, Keeley, and Georgie (and by extension Phoebe, Rebecca, and Simon) eventually kind of pick up on it just from being around Jamie so much and seeing him interact with femininity enough that they can't help but notice that it Fits him. Maybe one of them calls him a girl or uses 'she' for him as a joke (i.e. like "girls, you're both pretty" from Roy when Jamie and Keeley are bickering or something like that) and see the way it makes him glow. But he hasn't asked for anything in particular, and he doesn't seem like he's hiding anything, you know he doesn't seem to have that ache like Colin talked about, so... unless he tells them otherwise they just mix in the new pronouns and carry on.

3. When Everyone Points Their Gaydars at Him (LMAO)

This is literally just. alsfjkasfkks. "Someone else in this room is probably gay," and they all look at him, and just instantly POP oh shit there's a reason for that huh? Damn. Anyway, we don't have time for that halftime's almost over. Also that's one of those things where if you realize it that suddenly, either you blurt it out without ever thinking the words you say or else you don't and still don't think any words. His whole entire self is like okay. More on that later.

In this version, he does Come Out. He's not really nervous about it because, again, This Kind Of Thing already went great for Colin + support sponge. And also because it's funny, innit. I love in-jokes, I'm about to make one.

No one is surprised, in this version. They all have basically the same experience as Jamie had when his egg cracked. Oh yeah, that's what that was. Oh, also! The team together like mad-libs together a Frankensteinish approximation of Ted's "we don't not care" speech that no one who wasn't there would be able to comprehend a lick of (RIP Isaac and Roy).

Once again I do not know how to end the post. Thank you for the ask.

[categoricalglitches]

JFC, the shriek I let out at "It was worthwhile to meet you" was in the same category as the one for that one small glimpse of Dina we got in TLoU (though that time I also literally threw my hands in the air shut up it's fine she just rules). It is official I have been converted I apparently love Jade now!

Get his ass, Jade.

Although now I get to spend at least a week worrying about what Rupert's retaliation against Nate and/or Jade will look like for turning him down/defying him/utterly eviscerating his ass go Jade!!

But. In the meantime... Please, fic authors, Rupert literally said "Oh, dang, you got to his afternoon kiss before I did" and ASH is so good at the evil creepily menacing and come ooon, cater to me plzzz 😭

(NB I love Nate, that's why I want him to suffer (in fic).)

I've never entirely been on board with Roy, as a character and as the kind of excellent coach he's clearly supposed to be--he has too many unfunnily weird hangups and his habit of taking things out on Jamie or just being way over the top antagonistic or even borderline violent is just. NO. (and obviously there was the thing he said to Keeley last episode but that was unfortunately more of standard dude yikes)--so I was glad that Rebecca went off on him and then he really handled both the conversation with Isaac and the press conference excellently. So, good job, Roy. 👍

And Kola Bokinni was so so good throughout this episode. Just. 🤩 Everything after he gets sent off. That conversation with Roy! Silently crying while quietly losing it! All of it! W O W

(But the strength of all that emotion is partially why I didn't really appreciate the Will gag this time.)

Also loved Isaac finally going over to Colin's and their stupid wholesome companiable-FIFA-session-cum-impromptu-queerness-Q&A lol.

Stupid confession: apparently my slash goggles are on so tight that part of me wanted the dumb fanfic scenario of Isaac confessing his love to Colin even though I fucking love Michael, yike @ myself.

Jamie's still bi, by the way. Sorry not sorry. All of his reactions were 110% bisexuality-compatible!