#I love rambling about us forever
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yesss yesss @kayakoto-enterprises there is a reason we are named Key Signature
The ‘Key’ in key signature is informant, because he���s someone who has many many hideouts throughout the city, he knows secret passage ways, and can pick locks very swiftly! He’s very good with his hands :7j
‘Key signature’, the music reference is me because I play an instrument!!!!
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I love my silly double bass very much it is my darling ^_^
But like Key Signature as a whole (also referring to the music reference) is supposed to be reflective of our relationship cause the key signature in music is what sets the mood for the piece, and I like to think that my selfship is like a piece of music
informant is very unpredictable in nature, he’s the one that controls the dynamic,(the ‘key’ being the pitch) because he’s reserved in nature, it’s mostly him that has to come to terms with his own feelings and there are. Many things wrong with that guy. So he’s the one that makes the ‘piece’ fluctuate in mood (e.g. changing key signatures) it’s never just one, it’s an ever-changing piece of music ^_^
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⸢This story is for just that one reader.⸥
#im in my yoohankim feels nobody talk to me#asked the squad what kind of sky suited these bitched and they were like “dusk” and i was like “fuck yeah i love that”#but holy shit orv rewired the circuits in my brain especially these three and their sun moon star motif#i could ramble about them forever but aye I'll shut up now#i will never be getting over this novel#feel free to use the wallpaper for your phone just don't repost it or claim it is yours pls thank#yoohankim#orv#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#han sooyoung#doksoo#joongdok#joongsoo#myart#anime art#anime fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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I've lived different lives
The Shinichi-POV AMV I edited to pair with my Heiji-POV AMV for COMPASS: A HeiShin Anthology, which you can download for free and read all about @haidocityzines!
Like Heiji's video, Shinichi's also uses a song by Fly By Midnight, "Different Lives," which took all of one listen for me to want to make a HeiShin AMV set to it. The zine includes a short essay with more details and thoughts, but to expand a little, in the time since I finished this video, I've written about what I think would be "the most narratively tragic ending for HeiShin," arguing that it would be either of them dying:
Shinichi becomes Conan because he does not rely on others or ask for help. (After all, if he trusted Ran to follow Vodka with him, there’s no way events would have carried out like they do.) Through being Conan, he’s somewhat forced to rely on others and ask for help, but when it comes to Heiji, it’s really a choice. He wants to investigate cases together. He wants Heiji to help him. So, if Heiji were to die in a case or in the fight against the Black Organization, I could see Shinichi falling back into his pre-Conan days. Relying on Heiji and trusting him got him killed. It’s better to do things alone, to not let anyone in. The progress Shinichi’s made throughout the series would be undone.
And that's something I was going for with the video, too. Shinichi is terrified of losing his loved ones, but there's a different level of terrified when it comes to losing Heiji. Because Heiji is someone he trusts. Heiji is someone he lets in. To lose that would be debilitating. Render him hopeless.
Because that's another thing about Heiji: he's hope. His alcohol (Episodes 48-49) serves as the first cure to APTX 4869. It gives Shinichi, literally, the first taste of victory—of undoing the poison, of taking the Organization down. Shinichi's life was so different before Heiji, and to be left without him... that's unfathomable. Terrifying.
Ramblings aside, this AMV can also be viewed on YouTube, in full 1080p and with optional subtitles, here!
#fancam friday!#detective conan#case closed#shinichi kudo#heiji hattori#conan edogawa#heishin#compassheishinanthology#amv#my amvs#video#eye strain#long post#ramblings#funimation english dub script#note that this *does* have an illegal english dub name#which i used to try to cut out of my amvs but i just can't anymore i'm sorry ^^; have at least one wip with more of that rn#i really could talk forever about them though haha i have so many thoughts#like i think there's also something about the terror of realizing you're in love with someone when being together is currently impossible#and potentially *always* impossible#they're so tragic but also i think genuinely good for each other and i just love them so much#really sad i didn't finish another essay about them for the zine! but maybe someday....#in any case source list is on youtube! special thanks to astravis as always for that film dust overlay <3 loove me those vhs effects#(with real vhs footage for a lot of it!)
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Hey gamers, long time no see!
Despite how much has happened in my life this year, I've come out okay and I'm happy to say I survived! Now that I'm in a better place, I do miss this account very much ;_;
I think I want to rejoin the t-community but I want to start fresh! Partly because I really like bluesky and I want to make something there too?
I'll keep everyone updated but! Yeah!
ALSO for those who commissioned me: I've been going through everyone to give refunds bc I frankly wasn't able to draw for a whiiiile and the time was much too long! If you didn't receive a refund, PLEASE let me know!
#wormy rambles#PSA#I miss yall sm and I miss my tickly ocs lol#I love this acc so I won't delete dw#But I wanna make art again too rrrrrr#Tryna decide what new name I want?#But also squirmles will forever exist and are free to use btw#Also in case anyone is wondering I'm going insane about arcane / jayvik rn
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I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#dc#NOT character tagging. for reasons j feel are obvious#honestly i shouldn't even be posting this here I'm responding more to twitter sentiments but they'd cook me on there if i posted this#anyway sometimes i think ppl (again the twt ppl specifically. tumblr timsteph fans mostly normal) are doing that thing-#-where you get so deep into a hyper online discourse cycle that you end up reproducing mainstream sentiments from scratch#''let men date women!'' this is what some of you sound like when talking about timsteph to me /j#there's a lot to critique about how Tim's been written since canonizing his bisexuality!#personally I've noticed (and seen other ppl notice to) that some writers seem unaware that tim is bi#not in the sense of making him straight but in the sense that they seem to think he's gay bc none of his relationships w women-#-are acknowledged as having been. relationships#or if they are there's an idea that tim was using them to 'hide from his true self' or something#genuinely problematic sentiment!#i also don't really find the ''he should cheat on bernard!'' jokes funny#like lets bffr Tim's cheating was NEVER acknowledged as cheating he was seen as a good all-american boy#so like. bringing that trait back and acknowledging it as cheating ONLY after he comes out as bi? i get it- ironic homophobia but-#-i really don't like it!#anyway. close your eyes and focus on the daminika like the rest of us /j#or the stephcass jason dancing image which will live in my head and heart forever despite arguably being ooc as well <3#bc it's funny <3 and at least I'm self aware <3#also much MUCH more importantly DC POWER SPECIAL EXTREMELY GOOD GO READ IT FOR DUKE#and jace but i haven't read future state yet bc i tried and got. extremely bored 😞 sorry jace you seem really cool#but he's great in the story dynamjc duo with duke. loved it love them want more#special was sold out at my comic shop tho so i couldn't grab a copy. might hit the other shop in town today to see#BOOST THE NUMBERS WE NEED A POWER COMPANY ONGOING GANG#anyway yeah. tim & steph thoughts. you can just say you like them you don't have to do all that
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw blood#cw gore#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#vex waylin#viv waylin#MY FAVORIT EP!! HAVNT SEEN IT IN FOREVER THO BC WELL. IM BUSY. SO BEAR W ME IM RUNNIN OFF ALOTTA MEMORY FUMES#ALSO EDIT BC FUUUCK I HADMORE TAGS BUT TUMBLR FUCKEN ATE EM. OH WELL. MY DMS R OPEN IF U WANNA UNLOCK RAMBLES.#I LOVE THE WAYLIN TWINS SSSOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO!!! CURIOUS ABOUT THEM!!! WHO WERE THEY WHEN THEY WERE HUMAN? HOW LONGVE THEY BEEN ARND?#I LOVE IT WHEN PPL SAY ITS LIKE THESE TWO WERE MADE FOR MMEE BC YES!! YES!! ITS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROMA CHARACTER!!!#I LOVE THEIR RED WHITE N BLACK COLOR SCHEME. I LOVE HOW THEYRE BOTH SO INTELLIGENT AND GENIUS N YET THEYRE DUMB AS FUUUUCK#COOOMICAL SUPER VILLAINS. OOH ILL GET YOU NEXT TIME SHAMIA SHAMAI!!! HOW DARE YOU FOIL MY PLAN!! MY PLANS OF MUTILATING AWAKE N ALIVE PPL#COMICAL AND YET. GENUINELY HORRIFYING. VIV CAN MAKE UR BONES EXPLODE JUST BY THINKING ABOUT IT. VEX CAN BECOME SOUP#WHY DONT WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE? THE TURNING INTO RED MEAT SLIME?? METAL AS FUUUCK. I ALSO LOVE HOW SCARED THEY GOT SO QUICKLY#THIS LIL FUCKEN RRRRRAT COMES IN. AND WELL. HES JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. WE FUCK HIM UP N TOSS HIM INTO THE SUN N LET HIM BURN#SURE HE HAD ONE MORE TRICK OF REBELLION UP HIS SLEEVE BUT THE SUN HAS TAKEN HIM NOW. ITS FINE. WE'RE FINE. HEY IS THERE SMTH IN THE CEILING#OHHH WE KILLED HIM ONCE N HE CAME BACK. WE KILLED HIM AGAIN N TOOK HIM APART BUT THEN HES BACK?? HE GETS AWAY AND THEN. COMES BACK. AGAIN.#WE CANT GET RID OF HIM. THAT FOUL SHAMIA SHAMAI. A MOUSE IN OUR KITCHEN. FUUUUCK HES GONNA SPREAD DISEASE! KILL IT! KILL IT!! AAAUUGH FUCK!#I LOVE THAT THE WAYLIN TWINS AGREED TO HELP THE BLONDE TWINS MOSTLY ON THE BASIS OF 'IT WOULD BE FUNNY' BUT ALSO#OOHHH WE ARE SO CLOSE TO REACHING SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM NNEEVER FUCK WITH US AGAIN. HIS ILLUSIONS WILL HAUNT US NO LONGER#THEY WERE SSSOOO PARANOID W ALL THE CAMERAS AND BOMBING THEIR OWN LAB AND RUNNING AND RUNNING AND GETTING AWWAY FROM THIS FUCKEN! MOUSE!!!!#OHHHH I THINK IM RUNNIN OUTA ROOM so ill talk about da art real quick.BEEN WORKIN ON THIS FOR A WHIIILE.ALOTTA THESE were started when the#ep came out.so OLD!! BUT DONE!!and im very very happy w my colors n gore n EXPRESSIONS!! the top right corner comic keeps making me chuckle#I ALSO rly love the lil convo between arthur n viv.theyre SO CUTE TOGETHERR they should go ona museum date together or somethin#they need more time to just talk abt da World together.ALSO CAN I BE PETTY.I MADE ARTHUR UGLY CORRECT-STYLE#THESE BOYS KNOW NOTHING OF UGLY.I MADE THE VAMPIRIC FLESH EVOLVE N ROT N BLOSSOM AND THERE IS SQUIRMING WITHIN THE TENEBRAE#UHHH IEAH THIS GUY W A ROTTED N DISTORTED FACE WALKS INTO MY BIKE STORE IEAH IM SCREAAAMIN LIKE WADDA HELL!! MONSTOR!!!
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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I finally updated my helen design yippee🎉🎉 i put my notes and ramblings under the cut
(I've been waiting for ages to be able to talk about my distortion designs and the distortion in general so sorry if this gets a bit long.)
The distortion really interests me because of all the fears with prominent avatars, helen and michael appear to be (imo) the most inhuman, being reduced to mostly abstract concept but also somewhat devoid of free will, much like an animal. So when i draw them i try to emulate animal characteristics - the yellow eyes match the door but are also similar to cats or owls for instance (The kubrick stare i tend to give them does the same thing lol). The way the distortion feeds itself reminds me of a venus flytrap or a pitcher plant and i associate it very closely with naturalistic elements because of this, because of the fact that technically the distortion as a fear is thousands if not millions of years old, and because i like the contrast of something urban like a door surrounded by wildlife. Its curious and tempting and it doesnt make sense, which reflects the nature of the distortion itself. In the same way i like to give them facial features typically considered enticing or friendly - round faces, resting smiles, dimples, smaller eyebrows etc, but i always try to place them in the uncanny valley by extending the smile slightly too far and keeping the eyes wide open.
I liked this hairstyle for helen in particular because it feels almost like a halo and i like the comparison of certain fear avatars to deities. In general i draw helen happier than michael because she always seemed to revel in her nature (once she got past the initial feelings) more than michael did, but thats just a vibes thing.
#oof i could talk forever about the distortion i love it#tma helen#helen richardson#helen distortion#the distortion#tma#magpod#tma fanart#fanart#my art#sketches#sketchbook#the magnus archives#ramblings#woe👉👉helen sketchbook page be upon ye👉👉#also i started using a graphite stick for her hair its rlly fun
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Oooh Ghost and Hollow?
Ghost and Hollow
Oooooh boy, I have a lot to say!!!
So, starting off, I hc that Ghost and Hollow are hatchmates born from the same egg. Hollow was able to grow after being taken from the abyss.
Void stills time and growth and because of that, little ghost who spent most of its life in the abyss until escaping not long before the events of the game, did not age.
More on my timeline/time-freeze theory here.
They spent little time together before Hollow was chosen by the king, but their first moments were with each other and deeply impacted them both.
I wrote about this time in my fic, Ink of Void, Quill of Gold, and I'll post those snippets under the cut at the end of this post.
Hollow spent the rest of its life ignoring and repressing all memories and attributed feelings connected to the abyss and its siblings in its attempt to become a pure vessel.
Ghost's memories of Hollow were erased after leaving hallownest, and only a bit of its memory was recovered after returning to its birthplace.
Still even after reliving the climb and watching as its sibling left it clinging to the edge before falling to what might as well have been its demise, Ghost holds no grudge against its sibling.
Knowing what became of Hollow after that, only caused ghost to feel sorrow on its behalf, and further inspired it to rescue its long lost sibling.
Hollow, however, holds a very strong grudge against itself.
After abandoning Ghost, believing it to have died, and then witnessing it's little sibling go through hell to save it despite that,
The amount of guilt Hollow feels and Hollow has always had survivors guilt (just very repressed) concerning its siblings, and especially its hatch-mate, is now even more harrowing.
Now, about that 'betrayal'
I believe Hollow in that moment chose not to pull Ghost up, but also was hoping that Ghost would make it by itself.
It didn't want to appear 'impure' but it did stop and turn around for a reason.
It was waiting to see if it's sibling would make it.
It didn't want Ghost to fall, but it decided against intervening in order to preserve itself.
Hollow was very new to the world, and the world it was born into was especially unfair to all of them. I don't believe there was ever any intention there worthy of holding against it.
(Hollow, though, holds it against itself and refuses to let go.)
While deeply regretful, Hollow is also very appreciative of all of its siblings, Ghost, most of all.
Both for freeing it from centuries of suffering, but also, even more so for freeing the kingdom and at last putting an end to the infection,
More appreciative than it will ever be able to communicate.
(And somewhere underneath all of that gratitude and relief, there is some envy.)
There are all kinds of feelings that both vessels feel concerning each other. Pity, sorrow, jealousy, but in the end, they could never resent each other for anything.
They love each other above all else.
Post-ending relationship:
My ghost is a little guy who does its own thing and is very determined about that thing no matter how important or how trivial.
Not good at being social but gets easily attached to people.
Loves its family and tries its best.
Ghost wants to see its sibling heal and find peace and wants to be a part of that.
Hollow is so so so (ironically) complex.
A stalwart sweetie who's literal every thought and action coincides with intense inner conflict.
Hollow wants to make it up to its family, let them know through any means possible how much it loves and appreciates them, knowing that it's true and what they deserve, while also dealing with ptsd every time it showcases any amount (especially large amounts) of individual thought/expression.
Hollow's whole life revolved around this idea that its own individual thought/expression = failure to save others who will otherwise suffer and die.
Which they did.
So yeah, Hollow desperately wants to offer to its siblings the same amount of affection given, but it's very difficult.
Throughout our post canon series, Hollow undergoes quite a bit of healing, and it becomes easier over time. (The series actually begins months after Hollow's been free, and it's already doing better. Mostly physically.)
Bonding over:
Hollow and Ghost bond over their love of and dedication to knighthood.
They enjoy sparring with eacother. (Their friends + family enjoy watching as its most amusing to watch such a tiny bug so determined to take down a literal giant XD)
Hollow teaches Ghost much of what it learned while training to become the kingdom's greatest knight, (and is inwardly so so happy that its sibling is most interested in the one skill it feels most comfortable engaging in.)
Ghost lowkey thinks Hollow is the most impressive being alive.
Also! they like to battle with their horns the way beetles do! (Which looks especially ridiculous, obviously. Considering their size difference XD)
Other things they enjoy together include:
• Music. Especially their mother's music.
• Nature and the outdoors.
• Collecting little trinkets. (Ghost loves bringing its findings to Hollow to show them off and to share.)
Brotherhood:
The vessels are genderless but both Ghost and Hollow will use masculine titles, especially that of 'brother.'
(On Ghost's part largely inspired by the nailmasters, who in our post-canon series all find eachother again and make up.)
Butting heads over:
Tbh, they'll butt heads over lots of little things. Usually because Hollow is a perfectionist, and both of them are incredibly stubborn.
The only thing that will result in a devastating argument between them would be the subject of the Pale king.
Ghost doesn't hate their father, but it certainly does not care for him and holds some resentments.
Hollow will not hear anything negative about the king. Ever. At all.
Its extremely defensive response to any (often times quite fair) negative judgments of the king and his actions is largely a result of its time spent with the Radiance.
Ultimately, the subject is one the two agree not to discuss around each other.
Tbh, I could continue going into detail about all of this and more, but this response is already long enough XD
(These two mean so much to me!!!)
So I'll end it with these snippets from my fic below the cut:
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I forgot to say in the notes on ao3 but Ghost being saved by Hollow (by relying on Hollow's strength to pull it from the egg) was a very intentional detail, meant to parallel Ghost saving Hollow in the future.
Both of them free the other from a black egg !!!
#i love these siblingssss#i could literally talk about this family forever#!!!!!!!!#they are everything. to. me.#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway ya thanks for letting me ramble a bunch#i will literally always be willing to#hollow knight#hollow knight headcanon#hk headcanons#hollow knight thk#hollow knight the knight#hollow knight little ghost#hk little ghost#hk ghost#hk thk#hk the hollow knight#what tags do people normally use for hollow? aside from pure vessel?#pure vessel must work the best
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Ok. Ok. I honestly have no idea how Chani and Paul's relationship will be handled in the 3rd movie, and honestly? I don't care. I'm confident that however it's handled (so long as it's not some extremely OOC plot with her forgiving him and going back to him willingly, but I'm pretty confident it won't be that) it will change my brain chemistry.
But hold on. hOld on. Because as much as I love the thought of there being a lot of heat and tension and Feelings Feelings (99.9% of which are NOT positive) between the two of them, and it's likely that's the direction the film will go, I'm also somewhat intrigued by the alternative. That there's...nothing. Maybe not at first. But after twelve years, if Denis intends to keep the time jump as written, things fade. No hate, but no love either. As if they'd never known each other at all.
Because it's been twelve years. Nobody knows exactly how old the two of them are supposed to be in the films, but my personal headcanon is like 18/19. Meaning if Messiah keeps that time jump, it would put them in their early thirties. That's...a lot of time. That's a big difference in psychology, in emotional processing, in just...ways of life and ways of living. It's strange to me to assume that both of them would be exactly the same people - on their own or in regards to each other - after all that time.
And of course, that's not to say they'd forget each other entirely. Scars don't fade that easily. Everything Paul went through leaves a mark. Watching your lover succumb to the clutches of power and essentially becoming somebody entirely new, becoming your people's oppressor after swearing to fight alongside you in your rebellion as an equal (and for all you know, that was his plan all along) definitely leaves a mark. But twelve years is still a long time, longer still for people dealing with the level of shit these people deal with in day to day life. Whatever both of them could be up to for all that time leaves marks too, and adds to the pile of shit.
Especially, I think, for Chani. Because her anger and defiance against her oppressors began long before she met Paul. That is her purpose. Paul changed and grew along with her and because of her presence. He is forever touched by her and her memory, and won't, I don't think, ever be able to let go of that. And while Chani's rage and despair and pain at what he did is very real and very much not something I can see just fading away, I could also see her almost using what happened as an excuse to go back to whatever "normal" was before Paul for her. Almost as a coping mechanism. Because Paul did, in her eyes, essentially become a different being after the Water of Life. He's not the man she fell in love with. And maybe it would be easier for her to, rather than engage with that anger directly at him, just...let him fade into the background. He's not him anymore. He's just another evil to defeat.
I've just...realized I kind of have mixed feelings about the thought of her spending twelve years nursing her rage at Paul specifically. Of course it was a betrayal - probably the biggest betrayal she's ever known - and that kind of thing doesn't just go away. But she hated the empire before he was emperor. There's a depressing kind of power in going "ok, I guess it's no different than before, I'll just keep on going the same way I was before any of this happened." As if the months she spent with him were nothing, weren't even real. Just...the thought of Chani as an adult going on day to day with whatever she's doing to fight for her people's freedom, trying desperately to forget that the man who now holds that freedom in a yoke was once one she loved and trusted. And it getting slightly easier every day. Her dreams of her people's political victory mattered long before Paul came into the picture and will matter long after he left. It's not about him, it's still about the emperor. Whos is not the man she loved.
idk I *love* Chani's Feelings after part 2 and all that could come with that, I love it but part of me is also like...if they really do spend 12 years apart does she really have nothing better to do with her time (ESPECIALLY if it turns out she has a child) than plan her revenge against him specifically? Like. as the Emperor Of The Known Universe, yes, because he is at the top of the food chain of oppression she's spend her life trying to bring down. But not as Paul. Not as the man who betrayed her. Because all of that is wrapped up in personal, vulnerable feelings that I feel like to her would seem like a waste of time. She will not give water to the dead, and Paul is dead to her.
And all this would be more tragic because I'm sure, I'm sure that with Paul it's the complete opposite. He cannot forget her. He cannot have a life where he doesn't think of her. And a part of him would be still trying to protect her from his position probably, maybe even hoping in some distant part of his mind that she'll one day come back. Twelve years of grief and guilt cutting a hole in his chest versus twelve years of practicing how to forget.
And then. Again, I doubt this is the route they'll go because it's not as dramatically interesting, at least I'd love to see it in a fic (maybe I'll do it), but it would be so unusual to me to see them meet again, and their story not end in revenge or reconciliation. There's no forgiveness, there's also no surprise killing or coup or anything. Maybe Paul thinks it'll go one of those ways, but instead it's like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, for lack of a better comparison. His relief at her being alive, the indescribable regret, love that is still there, all of that met with...nothing. Because Paul, kid, it's been twelve years. She's moved on. She's fighting her fight, and you are her political enemy and that is all you are. She can't even hate you, because *you* aren't the one betrayed her. For there to have been betrayal, that would mean she had to have loved and trusted you, and she never did. She loved and trusted Usul, and you're Emperor Muad'dib. The two do no equate. She will never love you again. But she can't hate you, because she doesn't even see you as a person - let alone one she used to love.
@fuckyeahisawthat idk if you have a counterpoint or thoughts or whatever i just wanted to tag u
#dune#idk just spitballing here#paul atreides#chani kynes#paul x chani#dune messiah#ramblings. so many.#again idk if this is a prediction or not it's more just a route i don't see a lot of people take when theorizing or writing fic#and i think it could be interesting and REALLY tragic if played right#the thought of paul being so so overwhelmed with emotions upon seeing her again#thinking maybe this is it. maybe they'll reconcile and he hasn't lost her forever. maybe this time he can make things right.#maybe she'll just kill him (and he would thank her)#and she's just like. actually i haven't thought about you in terms of being a human person i used to love for literal years.
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⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl
i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"
but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless
there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!
dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.
dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.
yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.
so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.
as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.
so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:
yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this
(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)
here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:
blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it
#hengren#renheng#txt#fic rec#nsft#idrc about who tops but ppl who are strictly top!blade truthers... give this fic a whirl plz it's so good expand ur horizons#so many other insane ramblings i could have about this fic oh my god the way the cloudhymn magic constantly healing yingxing#parallels blade's selfhealing (a self healing he got BECAUSE dan feng made him immortal)#cementing how his current state really was created by dan feng's desire to keep him and his love eternal URHGHG#ppl have the audacity to say blade is obsessed with dan heng when it was dan feng's obsession that created blade to begin with. kms#and also dan heng's guilt the whole while is 🤌 cuz before he was like. wow. that's SO fucked up. good thing dan feng did it#surely /i'm/ not capable of that -- pan to slow realization that he's still very much dan feng#so the initial rejection of responsibility of dan feng's crimes to realizing that it's deadass just his own crimes he has to atone for#kafka being quietly and subtly comforting of blade and that making dan heng possessive . when the reason blade needs comfort to begin with#is dan heng himself. like. it's so ironic i'll die#more honorable mentions is i love dan heng calling blade 'yingxing' because it's so fucking mean#he's the bitch getting pissed everytime someone calls him dan feng or dares to insinuate he's the same person but he's the exact same bitch#totally doing a 180 on blade and treating him way more kindly after realizing he used to be yingxing#'stop treating me like the shadow of someone who's long gone' bud listen to ur own advice#the unreliable narration between the first two chapters is so fucking good like once you catch on to which dialogue is actually happening#and what was a flashback and etc etc it's SO fucking good#another honorable mention is. lmao. love it when the top cries pathetic men you'll have my heart forever and always#tons of other endless thoughts about and inspired from this fic but give that bad boy a read. so worth#also this author writes sunblade so that's how you KNOW they're enlightened
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the absurd amount of ppl on tiktok who are participating in the whole 'whats the definition of lesbian' and 'are lesboys valid' discourse who are so anti-discussion that they comment 'cringe' when you tell them to read actual lesbian history is so funny like ??
#why do you think reading queer history is chronically online#if anybody is chronically online its YOU because you cant have an actual discussion about complex gender identities and labels#like who cares bro#we literally have transphobes running the entire country right now are lesboys your biggest problem#real lesbians care about queer & trans rights before having label discourse !#sorry for the rambling#rant#lesbianism#to be clear: this blog supports enby lesbians gnc lesbians and trans lesbians and people who use the term lesboy i literally do not care#as long as youre doing activism past label discourse i accept you i couldnt care LESS#i love being called chronically online because i care about queer history like at the end of the day one of us logs off and talks to their#entire friend group of queer people and one of us doesnt so uhhh#if being autistic about queer history is cringe i will be cringe forever
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its been played up alot in the sonic franchise that other characters find shadow unnerving or even downright terrifying, which has always been funny to me because he has never really looked scary
but watching the movie trailer made me see something different......seeing his power being demonstrated in a more "real world" setting, watching those glowing red eyes as he speeds towards something......for the first time ever, even if just for a second, i felt actually frightened by shadow the hedgehog
#orion rambles#i find it fascinating bc i now get how other characters would feel about shadow within his world#i love him but he's kind of a scary bastard!#using this experience to fuel any fanfic i make about shadow forever btw#he genuinely looks like the devil and i love it#sonic movie 3#sonic movie#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog
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Before I forgetttttt
So color thinks Killer is brainwashed, BUT, what if one time when Killer's soul is normal and he can feel and think for himself again, what if they are chilling at Color's place and then Killer gets up and says something like "I have to go home, don't want to worry dad"
What would Color think ? Would he rethink everything because "wait, why did you call him dad ???" Or would he think that damn, this brain washing is even worse than he thought because apparently Nightmare makes them call him dad ?? Which is weird even for Nightmare that could be a manipulation method ??
Okay that's it byyyeee
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OH I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THESE GUYS OKAY SO!!!!!
(I'm still new to Color so if I'm wicked super wrong let me know!)
I feel like no matter what Killer said about Nightmare, Color wouldn't believe it. If somebody's been held captive so long they no longer think they want to leave, of course they're going to say they like living there. No matter how much Color cares about him, I think he has to consider Killer an unreliable narrator as far as his own situation is concerned.
But! Color's main concern is giving Killer his autonomy back and helping him learn to make his own choices. This unfortunately means if Killer keeps choosing to go back to Nightmare, Color has to respect it.
I feel like the only way he would begin to slowly unwind and trust that Nightmare had good intentions would be to see it for himself repeatedly. It's going to take more than a few good turns to prove that he isn't just putting on an act when Color is watching and then turning the whip on them again when nobody's looking. That's going to be hard to set up though since neither of them want to be around the other very much lol
I do think a good start for it would be Nightmare giving Killer the choice though. Like, not that they don't get to choose things regularly, but Killer isn't really one to think much about what he wants or come forward with it so Nightmare kind of assumes he's content and doesn't really think to check in with him. So if he actually made a point of asking Killer what he wanted and he said he wanted to spend a day with Color, I think that would be a good start. Obviously Color's not gonna jump to trusting him after one day, but hearing that Nightmare is also giving Killer his own choices and actually respecting them might give him a bit more reason to trust him.
That said, the image of Color's face as he asks "he makes you call him dad??" is sending me lol
#UTDR#Ask#mikimakiboo#Trying so hard to keep it short and not type every thought I have for the next 3 hours lol#Thank you!!! I love thinking about these guys right now so this ask made me really excited :D#But yeah. I have a hc that none of them (at least at the start) are very good at saying if they want something#So Nightmare kind of uses Killer to find out what the others want and report to him with it#And it takes him maybe a but too long to realise he's forgetting Killer himself and ask what *he* would like#And after a long minute of silence Killer says he wants to go to the big timeline and hang out with Color#Which Nightmare absolutely hates the idea of because he could lose one of his boys forever but agrees to for Killer's sake#I think it starting like that would be a good foundation for both of them#Because Color gets to see Nightmare dropping Killer off as he wishes#And Nightmare gets to answer the call from Killer to come pick him up when he's ready to come back#It's going to take a lot more work for both sides to be happy but so help me god we're all gonna be happy in the end in this multiverse#Anyway!! Thank you again for this chance to ramble <3
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I could write a whole essay about how Victor Vale and Kell Maresh are two sides of the same coin, opposites yet somehow similar when it comes to their relationship with pain
#kell maresh#victor vale#adsom#vicious#to be fair I have not read Vengeful yet so idk if that adds some key details to this topic or not but#Victor basically died a horribly painful death and then came back to never feel any again#it was by his own decision out of curiosity and hunger for power and foolishness but oh it was agonising#so much so that it irrevocably marked the rest of his life#Kell suffered an injury because of sheer bad luck just an unlucky turn of events while trying to save the whole world#and he spent the next seven years in unbearable pain any time he tried to use his power#he saved someone he loved and defied the laws of life itself to do it because he could not bear to lose that person#and in exchange forever lives with experiencing not only his own pain but that of that other person too#books#shrews ramblings#here I listed more the ways in which they're opposites but you see#they're the same in how pain shaped them both#pain does things to you that don't always pass when the feeling itself is over#idk idk I'm emotional about them#actions and consequences and the cruel hand of fate#and what it means to be human and what it means to be rid of the thing that made you who you are#hmmm for Victor 'he came back to never feel any pain again' is per se inaccurate but you get what I mean!!!#he has complete control over pain#both his own and that of others#Kell has none
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Do you like overwatch - and if so who's your fav?
//long drag of cigarette// overwatch huh.... havent heard that name in years..... i remember her fondly tho...
#snap chats#i did love overwatch for a while IM SORRY#thats why i love rivals ig ..... im already used to hero shooters and all now i just get to play with my favorite dolls jvLEAKJAK#as for faves Of Course i have faves for each role: sigma hanzo zen#zen and hanzo were def my main picks i think last i checked i had 150+ hours on zen and i think 120 on hanzo?#i didnt play tank much once overwatch. ''''''upgraded''''''' to 2 but in OW1 i pkayed dva and zarya a lot#tho at a point i did pick tank back up and i'd play sigma ... i love grandpa..... also a very strong and balanced tank he's excellent#sigma AND ramattra oh my god i love ramattra so much hes so cool ... and sexy Now Who Said That#i actually wanted to be a sym main when i first played OW but i couldnt get into her.. i still think she's cool tho..#mostly cause whenever id join a game we'd need a healer so <:) id pick zen.. but i genuinely love zen too !!!!#he's so fun to play i love me a lil robot monk !!!!! also he has a takoyaki skin and takoyaki is Top Five Food Ever to me#anyway... the last tiem i played overwatch was maybe two years ago???? def a long time#uhhhh honorable mention is reaper ..... of course i love Death. also flanking and kiling as him was just gen fun#and i mean while 76's playstyle wasnt ever my faovirte .. i did think he was kinda fine tho ... yk before they gave him a FUCKASS BEARD#see thats where my disdain for beards began. also that haircut Stop That. What Is That. he looked so much cooler with the mask..#ive rambled about OW enough tho. i could prob go on forever i really did love this game when i played it lol ...
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