#I love my parents but I cannot stand living this close to them

[justaplacetotalk]

I cannot believe my dad sometimes dude. God forbid I ask him for guidance on something relating to HIS business. I probably fucking fixed it wrong too. Can’t wait for that conversation.

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[beanghostprincess]

Rayleigh and Buggy reunion, but Rayleigh is being over the top judgemental about everything, like idk if u are familiar with crazy ex girlfriend the TV show but Rayleigh shows up and acts exactly like Rebecca's mom does. Overcritical of his life choices and dismissive of what he perceives as excuses coming from Buggy, because he knows Buggy's true potential and is annoyed with Buggy not living up to it. He gives Crocodile a once over and goes "is that what you found to replace Shanks with" and moves on and Crocodile doesn't even have a moment to compute the way he was just insulted because Rayleigh has moved on to criticising Mihawk's cooking instead. Worst part is, this all comes from a genuine place of love and care, Rayleigh is legitimately worried sick about his baby clown son of 39 years, but he cannot express that worry without being extremely invasive about everything. Buggy isn't even responding, he just shoots ppl apologetic looks and rolls his eyes when Rayleigh isn't looking because of course he does this obviously Buggy is never good enough for him and Shanks had always been the favourite (you ask Shanks or any other Roger pirate and they will tell you that Buggy is Rayleigh's baby boy and absolute favourite with utmost confidence, too bad the emotional constipation runs in the crew). Dinner is awkward as fuck, because Rayleigh makes attempts at being easygoing but his motherhenning nature irt Buggy shines through, his conviction that Buggy would be happier with Shanks by his side is making him be overcritical of everyone in that dinner and he keeps discussing the good old days and subtly hinting at Buggy that there is still time for him to go back to Shanks....and Buggy looks close to frustrated tears (and everyone agrees, Crocodile has snapped 5 cigars in half with his teeth and Mihawk is 5 seconds away from banging his head on the table).

Just overbearing father Rayleigh being stifling and trying to overcompensate for his shit parenting choices during Buggy's childhood and Buggy having his daddy issues expanded upon (and Crocodile and Mihawk gaining insight to Buggy's entire deal)

"Idk if u are familiar with crazy ex girlfriend the TV sho-" My therapist literally told me to stop watching it so much because it was affecting my mental health. So. Yes. I know the show. It's one of my favorite shows EVER. Rebecca is just like me fr my beloved. All of them my beloveds. The songs my beloveds. Don't make me go into CEG x OP because I won't finish. And as you can see, I did not listen to my therapist.

Even though I've always seen Rayleigh as the one who understands Buggy the most (Roger and him love Shanks and Buggy equally but it is quite obvious they put more pressure on Shanks to be more like Roger and that only made things worse by making Buggy's inferiority complex exist) and the one who stands up more for him and comforts him when needed, it is true that he might be more judgemental and he'd be worried for Buggy. Like. Think about it. Roger died and the kids (their kids) ended up alone and going their own separate ways. For Rayleigh, finding out Shanks and Buggy aren't together is just?? So weird?? Because they've always been together. Birds of a feather (if somebody mentions the song 'Two Birds' I am punching them because I can't handle that song today please). And it's just... Well, surprising. 'But as long as they're okay' but they're obviously not okay!!! And it's not that Rayleigh is judging Buggy. In fact, I think he would do the same with Shanks. The second Rayleigh sees Shanks he's already saying he drinks too much (even for a pirate) and that he's been acting recklessly and "What the fuck are you doing without Buggy? Is this because of Buggy?" / "I do not drink because of him. It's- It's not about him. He left-" / "HE LEFT AND YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?????" / "I hate it when you get like this" / "Like what?" / "Like you want to still do something about my life. I'm an adult, thank you very much-" / "No, you're not if you keep acting this way". And I personally think Rayleigh would just be worried for the both of them and also feel extremely guilty because he wasn't there to fix things when they fought, the way he always did. "The second I left you alone you two start a fight that lasts two decades?" and he would say this to both of them and they would hate it.

But yeah, going back to Buggy I think he'd be worried because. Well. Have you seen Crocodile and Mihawk? I mean. They're kind of on good terms with Buggy now (more or... More or less. Kind of. They're not equals but they're some sort of weird thing and they respect and care for each other. More or less. It's- It's complicated. Don't ask) but they're still them. And Rayleigh can't help but see the situation and be like "I'm proud you made a name of yourself, kid, but you don't have to do this if you don't want to" (meaning: You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted) and Buggy takes it as an "You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted because you'd be safer with him" instead of the real "You could go back to Shanks any time you wanted because you'd be happier with him and this war of pride and hearts you have going on is dumb". And he understands Buggy needs to be away from Shanks to grow, but it's just so, so sad to see them like this when they used to love each other so damn much.

Also, I think Buggy would be going through the worst moment of his life and Crocodile and Mihawk would be so done for different reasons. First, they don't give a fuck about all of this drama. And second, they are starting to see Buggy more like a person and understand why he is the way he is, and the things Rayleigh is saying are bothering them a lot. They've been trying to make the clown move on from his past so he's useful for once (because when he believes in himself he's actually not a burden and more interesting) and now this guy (that they respect because it's Silvers Fucking Rayleigh) comes and tries to change things around here? Nope. Not happening.

So basically, what you're trying to tell me is that Rayleigh regrets raising the boys that way and now he's overcompensating and it's overwhelming for everyone, right? I- I love it. Great plot. 10/10. In character. Perfect. It makes me go insane. I love their daddy issues.

(Also, can we talk about how "This Was a Shit Show" and "What'll it be" are extremely Buggy songs??? Because- Because now I want to-)

[sideeve]

SELF CONTROL ⭑ MILES MORALES

⭑ maybe love isn’t the only thing that can keep someone tied to you .

miles morales x f!reader

part 1 — part 2

⭑ miles’ pov , cheating , normal spider-man violence , the spot , miles attempting to win reader back , major spoilers for atsv , arguing

miles’ pov

every thing was stressing him out. fighting with spot wasn’t helping either. while basically punching himself, he was trying to text his parents that he would be a little late.

“can we finish this later? i have a meeting with my parents!” miles yells, trying to web the villain to the wall.

“no! we cannot! i have to kill the thing that-wait! we’re not finished here!” spot attempts to wiggle out of the webs keeping him stuck.

“i’ll catch you later.”

with the spot “done”, miles finally had a moment to breathe. he got a message from you.

mrs. morales 💓 : miles. where r u? ur parents keep asking me and idk what to say😭

mr. morales 🕷️ : just tell them i’ll be there in a moment. had to pick up the cakes :)

he huffs.

everyone needed him at the exact same time. from juggling the responsibility as spider-man and being a boyfriend and son, school. he couldn’t do it all.

his hand slide down his face. “if only gwen were here right now. she’d know what to do.” he looks down at the boxes of cake in his hands before making his way to his apartment.

grounded. for two months. just because he couldn’t tell his parents that he’s spider-man. rage filled in his body. no one understood him. no one. but her.

fuck! he shouldn’t be thinking about her. he has a girlfriend! one that lives him to death too.

but him and gwen are just friends…right?

that thought leads him here. an inch of space left between him and gwen. he would make a mistake tonight that he would gravely regret.

“¡miles! ponte aquí ahora mismo.”

his mouth pulls him out of his trance he gasps out of shock. what the hell was he doing? why is he kissing someone else? where is his girlfriend? what is he going to do?

his eyes looked blown out. thoughts clouded his head, making him unresponsive. “i’m not going to call for you again.” the party fell silent, looking at miles in disbelief.

he didn’t even say a word to gwen nor his mom. he just ran as fast as he could (while also swinging) to you.

out of breath, he knocked on your door.

"hey babe. my mom wanted me to check on you. she said you left early." he lied. he just wanted to know if you knew what he did. "we're done. i can't be with a cheater."

fuck!

"baby. you don't understand-" "go!" you slammed the door in his face. he heard you sobbing behind the door. his heart broke.

what did he do?

he walked home like a kicked puppy. he lost the only one he loved. once he opened his house door, his parents stood in front of him, arms crossed and disappointed. "mama, i-" "no, go to your room. and make it 4 months."

he wasn't even upset, he understood why he was in this situation. he had hurt you. and there was no way to take it back.

cut to when miles meets miguel

"every spider person has lost someone close to them. that is what makes us who we are." miguel stands before miles, making him look small. the holograms of spidermen and women crouching over their loved one's dead bodies. then there was him. crouching over you.

"my canon event is my girlfriend dying?" "ex-girlfriend. and yes. i'm sorry miles. but this can't be changed." every ounce of rage when to his fists. "no! it can't be her! i gotta save her."

“miles. you know we can’t let you do that.” a disk slides under him, creating a force field around him.

“miguel! that’s enough!” the yelling from the spider society was overwhelming him. ontop of the fact that you are going to die.

in his arms.

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ impossible ] t. seguin

day eleven of malia’s christmas fic marathon

paring : Tyler Seguin x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) is surprised when ex boyfriend Tyler knocks on the door of her parents’ house on Christmas Day

warning(s) : angsty, but nothing besides that

author’s note : last two fics of the christmas marathon. let’s do this

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She has never been happier to be home in Toronto. (Y/N) loves living in Dallas, but the last few weeks haven’t been the best. Being surrounded by family should help her out of the post-breakup funk she’s been in recently.

Even now as she's sitting in the living room with her family in her Christmas pajamas and opening their gifts, she misses Tyler. She misses her old life with Tyler, but she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't keep doing the distance.

He was away more often than he was home. When he was home, he went out with his teammates after games or on off days. She'd often go weeks without seeing him because he'd stay over at a teammate's house.

She wasn't equal with hockey anymore. Not like she used to be. She got tired of it.

She never gave him an ultimatum because she could never make him choose between her and hockey. (Y/N) made her feelings known and Tyler didn't seem to care, so she has been living with her best friend in Dallas and came home for Christmas a week ago. She stopped answering Tyler's texts and calls so she hasn't even talked to him in nearly two months.

Her family doesn't notice that something's wrong. (Y/N) does her best to keep a smile on her face and interacts with her nieces and nephews as they open their gifts. No one has asked where Tyler is and she is very much grateful for that.

As (Y/N) opens a gift from her mom, there's a knock on the door. Her mom goes to answer it as she opens the box that contains a Dallas Stars customized jersey that has her last name above the 91. "Tyler!" her mother shouts from the front door. "It's so nice of you to join us. We didn't think you'd be joining us."

Her head snaps toward the door so quickly that she thought for a split second that she gave herself whiplash. She's very surprised to see her ex standing at the front door of her parents' house in Toronto.

"I needed to go see my parents before coming over," Tyler says as he looks right at (Y/N). "Sorry I'm late. I forgot how insane Toronto traffic can be."

Words cannot express how angry and annoyed she is that he is at the door. She thought that he would've gotten the message that she was done when she didn't talk to him for two months.

Apparently not because there he stands in a Stars hoodie and plaid pajama pants with a bag full of gifts at the front door.

She gets up off the floor and pushes Tyler out the door without a word to anyone. It closes behind her, leaving the two of them alone in the cold Toronto air. Snow is on the ground and she's outside in a tank top, fuzzy pajama pants, and slippers. (Y/N) can't even feel the cold because of the fact that she is fuming.

"You have no right showing up," she spits at him. "We haven't spoken in two months and you show up at my parents' house."

Tyler blinks and says, "Last time I checked, you're the one that stopped talking to me. I don't remember being told that I wasn't allowed to come to Christmas because you stopped answering my texts and calls."

"We're done, Tyler," she tells him. "In case that wasn't clear."

"You're done," he retorts. "I'm not. I don't understand why you just up and left."

"I told you why!" (Y/N) practically shouts. "You're gone for weeks at a time, Tyler. The only time I get to see you is when we're separated by a thick piece of glass while I'm sitting in the stands and you're on the ice. You used to spend off days with me, you used to come home to me and we'd watch a movie on the couch or in bed. Then you decided to go out after every game or go out on off days."

He runs a hand through his hair and says, "I am a leader, (Y/N). I was never around my team. I needed to show them that I am still a leader and I couldn't do that when I was cooped up at home with you. You knew what you were getting into when we started dating and all of a sudden, you can't handle it anymore?"

Anger courses through her veins. Her blood is boiling to the point where the snow might melt around her. "No," she retorts. "I can't do it anymore. You used to make time for me and now you're a ghost. I was living in a shell of our past life together while you seemed to be moving on. I was alone in that apartment. It was like I didn't have a boyfriend anymore. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal if I left."

A look of hurt flashes on Tyler's face. "Of course it would be a big deal if you left," he softly says. "I love you. I miss you."

She shakes her head and does everything she can to keep the tears from spilling over to her cheeks. "You didn't listen," she tells him. "I told you how I felt and you still went out that night after the game. I made the decision to leave because I knew that if you went out after I told you how I felt, you'd keep going out. I couldn't do it anymore."

Tyler frowns and says, "I went out to tell the guys that I wasn't going to be going out as much with them after games and on off days. That is the only reason I went out. I was gone for thirty minutes. When I came back to the apartment and you were gone, I realized that I didn't tell you that I'd be right back."

"I- you-" she cuts herself off when she realizes that if she had just stayed around for an hour, he would've been back. "Why didn't you just text that to me?"

"I thought that you'd be back," he admits. His eyes fall to the ground. "I didn't think you'd ignore me for two months. I didn't think it would take you a half hour to pack a bag and leave. I should've told you that I'd be right back."

A tear slips down Tyler's cheek. Her own tears begin to fall when she sees Tyler's tears. "Tyler, I'm so sor-"

"It's not your fault," he interrupts her. "Don't you dare apologize. We wouldn't even be in this situation if I had just realized how lonely you were or if I had just told you that I would be right back. I'm sorry. I know I probably shouldn't have come up here to try and fix things but I couldn't let you spend Christmas thinking you did something wrong when you didn't."

She takes a few steps forward and wraps her arms around his torso. Tyler's free arm wraps around her shoulders as she buries her face in his chest.

They've both done a lot wrong the past few months, but all they can do now is acknowledge what they've done wrong and move past it.

Hopefully Tyler's season can recover too because despite not being together, (Y/N) did keep an eye on his stats. He really began to fall apart a week after she left the apartment and has never been able to get it together.

That's all on her.

"Sorry your season has gone to shit," she sniffles as she looks up at him. "You can blame that on me."

Tyler shakes his head and cups her jaw with his free hand. "I'll never blame how good or bad a season is going on you," he tells her. "That will never be on you.'

A gust of wind blows and she shivers. Tyler wraps his arm back around her shoulders and holds her close to him. "I'll blame myself enough for both of us," she says. "Can we go inside?"

"As long as you're not done," Tyler replies. "I came up here to fight for us and I won't go inside unless you tell me that we can go back to how things were, minus my going out all the time."

(Y/N) looks up at him and nods. "I'm not done," she practically whispers. "Even when I said I was done, I don't think I actually was. You're impossible to move on from, Tyler Seguin."

He smiles and leans down to press a soft kiss to her lips. He hums and pulls back. "God, (Y/N)," he says. "Your lips are so cold. Let's go."

She lets out a light laugh and walks into the house with Tyler in tow.

Everyone looks at the two of them as Tyler pulls off his hoodie and pulls it over (Y/N)'s head since they were outside for fifteen minutes talking in freezing temperatures. "Everything okay?" her mom asks. "You guys were outside for a while. I thought I heard yelling."

"Everything's okay," she assures everyone in the living room. She goes back to sitting on the ground and Tyler sits next to her. He takes her hands in his so they warm up. She leans into him and rests her head on his shoulder. "We're okay."

That was more for Tyler than anything. He kisses the top of her head before he starts to hand out the gifts that he brought with him for (Y/N)'s parents and siblings. She watches them open their presents with a smile on her face.

Then Tyler holds a little present in front of (Y/N). She slowly takes it and looks up at him. "What is this?" she asks.

"Now that would ruin the surprise," Tyler teases. "Open it and find out. I know technically we weren't together when I bought this but I knew I wanted to buy it for you."

She unwraps it and opens the little black box. There's a silver ring that sits inside with a 91 in little diamonds on it. Her jaw drops and she looks up at her boyfriend. "You really went all out even though we weren't together," she gasps.

Tyler grabs it out of the box and takes her right hand. He slides the ring on the ring finger. "Wanted to make sure that everyone knows who your boyfriend was when we got back together," he replies. She admires the ring on her finger and Tyler kisses the ring.

(Y/N) smiles and leans against him to watch the last few presents get opened.

It finally feels like Christmas now that Tyler is here. It didn't feel like it until he got here because they have spent the last three Christmases together.

Despite being angry that he showed up, she's very happy he's here now.

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[jaeyunluvr]

LET ME IN (p.js)

warnings smoking, mentions of alcohol, death, parent problems, cursing

for my darling baby and my bsf nessa @heeslomll happy happiest birthday sweetheart i love you so damn much <3 pls forgive me this is not proofread at all

you sighed deeply as you brought a newly made blunt to your mouth, your legs dangled from the edge of the thick wall, that once happened to be the compound of somebody's humble abode.

it was a ruin, but it was once a happy home, or maybe it looked like a happy home. memories on the broken walls, just as broken as you were.

you exhale the smoke as it harshly brushes past the lining of your throat, making you scrunch up your nose. you'd never get used to the sting it gave you despite smoking for years.

you gazed at the cityscape in front of you which sparkled with bright lights and yet it looked weird. like it had no destination and it's shining for no one specifically.

endless thoughts clouding your head, you inhale on your blunt once again, closing your eyes getting lost in the high.

you don't notice the sound of the footsteps that approach you until you feel a presence next to you. a pair of legs drop next to you, dangling in the air, a pair of leather boots attached to them.

you turn to see a familiar face that looks up at you with disappointment. you couldn't take in the way your best friend, the only person you ever had by your side, look at you that way.

but what can you do? this was your only outlet. endless cigarettes and blunts, spoilt lungs, cans of beer and bottles of various types of alcohol.

after you quit college, smoke was your life. from your bike to your blunts. somehow you related your life to it. foul scent but invisible.

maybe you would've lived better if your mother didn't leave you with your dad. maybe you would've lived better if she nurtured and cared for you even a bit as a child. maybe you would've lived better if your dad didn't kill himself when he finally had the burden of debts get heavy on him.

jay looks at you, with a softer gaze this time. you release the puff of smoke just in front of his face but not directly at him. he sways his hand in front of his to diffuse away the gas and frowns his eyebrows as you giggled.

he harshly grabs the blunt from your hand and drops it down the high wall.

"yn fucking quit it. you're ruining yourself" he spat as his voice was laced with irritation and disgust but his eyes, they showed concern.

you rolled your eyes and let out a sigh. "next time, don't fucking snatch my blunt like that." you deadpanned proceeding to grab a cigarette from your pocket. you stand up and walk away from him, and just when you're about to light it, jay once again slaps your hand causing it to fall to the ground. he grabs the pack of cigarettes from your hand and stashes it into his pocket.

"can you fucking stop?" you speak as tears start to brim your eyes.

"yn no I cannot. I can't just stay quiet and let you ruin yourself over something that you don't have control of. this was not how you were yn. please get back."

"something I don't have control of? then why the fuck am I suffering the consequences? if you want me to stop then maybe fucking take my pain away, jay."

you say as your voice quivers, a huge lump forming at your throat. your mind runs through a million memories of everything worse and beyond.

jay walks towards you, taking your hands in his.

"yn, I don't think I can take your pain away but I can help you through it. just give me one chance please?"

you stay quiet. you knew jay loved you and it was not just as his best friend. he had confessed to you multiple times but you've rejected him every single time because what would he live like when he's constantly tied to you. you were just a havoc in every way and you would never want to hog his life with your problems.

you were like poison and he was like the pure milk. and why was he waiting to be tainted with your dark life?

you feel your heart getting heavy as you sense multiple emotions that wash over you. the sorrow you kept experiencing, the helplessness you were at, the utter love jay had for you and the biggest one yet, the guilt of not being able to be your best version for him.

your breaths get heavier and you feel your throat getting clogged with a lump, your fingers curl into a fist as you choke out a sob, tears slipping down the brim of your eyes, as they travel down your dusted cheeks.

jay calls out to you softly and gently wraps his arms around your shoulders as if you were something very fragile.

his heart physically aches as he sees you in such a bad state. the love of his life, the girl he wanted to protect, the girl who always pretended to be strong and withheld the worst nightmares all by herself.

you start sobbing at the comfort of his embrace, your chest filled with inexplainable heaviness. jay pats your head in a comforting manner, as your tears damp his shirt. he pulls apart while holding your face between his palms.

oh god he couldn't bear to see you like that. you couldn't read his expression and maybe it was because of this dim moonlight, but what you couldn't deny was the love he had for you. it was radiating off of him.

jay wipes your tears with his thumbs and leans down, pressing a feathery kiss to your right eyelid followed by your left and you swore to god you melted.

he then leans further down capturing your lips with his into the sweetest kiss ever. he didn't care if you just smoked, he didn't care if your lips were salty because of the tears. he just had to kiss your pain away, atleast for a moment, and he did.

that one moment, your whole world paused. your best friend, also the best man on the planet, kissed you. not only that but that moment managed to make you forget your entire sorrow. it was just him and you. it felt like nothing else mattered.

he breaks the kiss softly and whispers, "yn I fucking love you, you have no idea. please just please let me take care of you. please lean onto me, please rant to me, please cry to me. I can't take it when you're like this. I want my yn back, I want you to have yourself back. I'll help you through it and I promise to not turn my back on you."

your sigh shivered through the night air and your hands were starting to tremble slightly.

"I will let you in jay, thank you so much."

perm taglist :: @pockettwinzz @alvojake @miss-conjayniality @seunghancore <3

[ferrocyan]

choke the messenger

(hi i know i joked about honey b. lovely and her canon-typical dubcon before, but this is going into noncon territory, so. be warned ;3)

"—i'm sorry."

i'm sorry. honey knows those words. not asking for forgiveness, but offering sympathy. she's heard them from movies and reads, the ones about the times of the war and calamity. condolences for lost family and friends. that stuff's fantasy, and she shouldn't have to hear it. so she says, "shut up."

oh, it occurs to her, maybe they still say that, the people who don't wear regulators. it's not like i would know, honey reasons. because she does, and she's lost everyone. her parents are gone, her old friends, her not-quite-lovers—she's lost them all. so now there shouldn't be anyone else for her to lose, and no condolences either. that can't be right! so quit it, "i don't want your sympathy."

all honey has now is her position in the arcadion. and it's funny. she never thought it possible to lose honey b. lovely.

"...i understand." tart speaks slowly when he wants to convey his words correctly. especially when apologizing. honey wishes she doesn't have to look up to look him in the eye.

what. what could you possibly understand? you don't wear a regulator. you don't use feral souls. what you said about, what, eating souls is bullshit, isn't it. don't tell me you get it, you fucking don't. this isn't supposed to happen to me. not to me! not me! why don't you just shut the fuck up right now?!"

they aren't sitting, but too close to the sofa for her liking, so honey pushes him beyond the living room. she grabs onto tart's forearm and pulls him, "down," and he complies hesitantly.

honey smiles. she's learned a lot from souleater about how to take down opponents bigger than yourself. the key is to use gravity to her advantage. just like how he used his red flashes to bounce off the walls of the arena, leaping over honey b. lovely to bring his heavy axe down on her. now honey stands over the kneeling tart, puts her right palm over his mouth and brings her full weight to bear.

his scream is muffled. too bad, though, he's strong enough to keep from falling over, so he has a free hand to pull off honey's grip. "wait—" he opens his mouth.

jackpot. honey pushes her fingers in, pressing down hard on his tongue. "ghhk—ngrrh!" his eyes water as his mouth is filled, the red glow of her regulator reflected in them. honey pays the noises no mind. he's good at swallowing.

the effects of her venom differs for some people, but broadly there are three stages. on a small dose people get giddy. give them more and they become agitated: some affectionate, some aggressive. but make them drink enough, and they become downright pliable. my obedient little bees. honey feels her rage melt away as tart starts to bend. delighted, even. souleater can resist her charm but tart cannot, and it's fun to watch him lose himself to her.

he drops onto his back. honey winces at the painful thud of his head hitting the floor, walks around the fallen body to check. tart's eyelids flutter closed. "oh, no, you don't," tuts honey, lifting him by the shoulder onto her lap. she lets herself drink in the giddiness. "don't go to sleep. you can talk, but only what i tell you to say," she giggles.

"nnh," is all he manages. tart reaches for her hand, brings it closer to his lips. honey pokes at his cheek in return.

"hey," she asks, "you don't really feel bad for me, do you?" her fingers tease at his face. "you feel as— bummed, about this, as i do. isn't that so?"

he answers when she touches him. "yes..." he nods slightly. "with feral souls, you guys can be—hhk, my match... have, equals again. i w's so... happy. but, no more." he wrenches his eyes shut. "'s not fair. why does it... always kill you... not me...?"

honey exhales a laugh. "see? you weren't sympathizing with me. you're just... you're sad, for your own reasons. it wasn't about me after all." she feels her eyes grow hot. "you don't get any of it. do you even care? you don't do you?"

she pinches him a little, making him groan. "yes, your... majesty." a drop of gold splatters just to the left of his nose. then another two, on the right and left cheek.

"huh," honey thinks, her eyes hurt. "aa–aahhh!" the heat now feels like burning. she screws them shut, rubs at the eyelids. that lifts the pain, for a moment, but she realizes she's made things worse. they're stuck. she can't open her eyes at all. clawing at her eyes is no use. shit! shit!!

she drops tart from her hold and scrambles backwards. reaches for a wall and feels her way through. the first floor bathroom is just to the right. the sink by the door. she finds the faucet by touch and turns it on, rinses her eyes with the cold water.

it doesn't help. her eyes clear up, but soon fills up again with--fucking hell. it's honey, her own venom, isn't it? this can't be happening. this isn't supposed to happen! but it does. again and again and again.

she has no clue how long she's been hunched over the sink. if every beat of her heart is one second then it must be hours. the hair around her face has gotten wet. she hates it. she grits her teeth, hearing her own breath wheezing over the water flow. why won't you stop? she demands. like that's ever worked. her fingers are sore, starting to go numb.

"—miss honey." she jumps out of her skin. her eyesight hasn't returned, but she turns around to face tart anyway. shit, you've been out of it for so long that c'astarhte sobered up. he comes closer, reaches for the faucet, turns it off. "should be enough, no," he asks.

"what... are you—"

"what happens to the venom you spill?" his hand takes hold over honey's left forearm. she freezes in place. "it dissolves, into nothing. leaves no stains, right? you'll be fine. just calm down." his voice is level, he waits for her to relax and let him lead her out.

they're probably just in the hallway by the bathroom door. "sit," tart tells her, and honey finds herself sat between his spread legs. for a second she feels him hold her closer, but seems to think twice about it, leaning away against the wall. but he doesn't leave. honey relishes the chance to make him regret staying. she lets herself fall back onto his chest. his hands still right by hers, she laces their fingers together.

tart lets her be. it hurts worse than being slapped or shoved away.

her tearducts fit to burst, honey walks her thoughts back to their conversation earlier—this, this is what happens to the arcadion's feral soulshifters. their souls corrupt. honey knows it well herself. when was it—a month, a few weeks after she won 2nd place at last year's lightheavyweight division? she'd started to notice her feral soul activate on its own.

so i've been dying since then. "heh–hehehehe, ahahahahahaha!" her laughter seems to have startled tart, who shifts uncomfortably beneath her. "oh, what?" demands honey. "it's not like i can cry about it, so what else is there to do but laugh? isn't it funny that i'm this far along without having topped the division even once? at least miss eutrope was set to become the fucking champion!" she can't contain herself, shaking as more giggles escape her.

the only warning she hears is a faint growl. tart lifts his right hand in her hold and places it right below her chest, then his left hand moves too fast for her to register—taking off her regulator.

"no!" honey shrieks, "gi–give it back!" she tries to rise to snatch it, but his arm on her stomach keeps her down. she's watched it too many times—that clip of souleater breaking his regulator. "don't, please, please—"

"you can," tart tells her, "cry about it."

he gets up from his seat, goes over and sets the regulator down before honey's outstretched legs. just beyond her reach. her vision is glued to it. without the blue or red glow the metal case gives off nothing but white.

she can barely hear when tart speaks. "thank you," he clears his throat before continuing, "appreciate you caring about my thoughts. just... i just wish, you would let me say it."

honey inhales, trembling. she doesn't need to see to know that he's crying. without the strength to even lift her head, it's all she can do to whisper, "you should just leave me alone."

yesterday, an hour ago, he would've found a reason to stay. tart leaves her without a word.

[pinkkkkat]

Lottie comforting nat pre crash?

the best they know how to do

thank you so much for the req! i love hurt /comfort

lottienat hurt/comfort, sfw, set pre-crash right after the death of nat’s dad

soccer practice is lottie’s escape. it’s a chance for her to sweat, to be undebatably good at something, to be surrounded by by noise and chat with her friends and get away from the monotonous silence of her home life. it’s also a chance to hear the quick sarcasm and see the blur of speed that is her teammate (and good friend, these days), nat scatorccio

on a random wednesday in the early months of junior year, nat doesn’t show up to practice. it throws lottie off her game, kicks missing and head in the clouds. she can’t even pay attention when coach martinez is chewing her out, nor when coach ben is smiling sympathetically at her. nat is always at practice, she never skips, even showing up drunk if that’s the situation she’s in

it doesn’t take very long for lottie to learn why nat didn’t come to practice. it’s on the news that night, which she watches on a big television in a gray and empty home. tragedy strikes local trailer park, the news anchor says in a fake and dramatic voice, man dead after shotgun mishap, teenage daughter and loving wife left witness to the accident

and on the screen flashes an uncomfortably familiar photo, a brown haired nat smiling stiffly next to a mother with glazed over eyes and a man looking messily stoic. those are nat’s parents, lottie knows even though she’s never once seen them in the stands at a game. if that’s nat and her family, then logic says the man that’s dead must be nat’s dad. it takes a minute for lottie’s brain to catch up with the facts in front of her. teenage daughter left witness? oh my god, natalie

lottie isn’t sure what she’s meant to do, and her leg bobs up and down rapidly while her eyes dart around the room. she’s itching to do something, to help, but she isn’t sure what. lottie knows that nat’s dad wasn’t always very good to her, that her mom was a drunk, but were they close enough for lottie to… for her to what? show up at nat’s? wouldn’t it be barred off as an active crime scene now? lottie didn’t know

the phone rang, and it is with little surprise that she finds jackie taylor on the other line, with shauna chiming in from what is obviously across the room. she indulges jackie in a few “oh my gods” and “i knows,” before jackie’s proclamation that “people are saying that nat did it oh my god lot that can’t be true” causes lottie to panic so much that she simply hangs up on jackie

she paces around her living room before deciding that no, she cannot just hunt nat down. that would be insane, and she wouldn’t even know where to start. her socks pad on the tile floor while she bites at her lower lip, unable to stop worrying about nat. in the end, though, she ends up calling the florist and ordering a bouquet addressed to the trailer and scheduled for the following week, with a card that reads an “i’m so sorry,” and a “love lot,” before going to bed but not really sleeping much at all

so thursday comes as thursdays do, and the last person lottie expects to see in the locker room when she gets there, half an hour early nonetheless, is natalie. but there natalie is, sitting on the bench with her head hung, left leg bouncing rapidly where her elbow rests on it, jostling her whole body and making her shake. lottie stops dead in he tracks when she sees her

“nat?” she says quietly, not wanting to spook her off. lottie wrings her hands, trying to decide wether she should leave, take nat with her, or stay. nat doesn’t look up. doesn’t stop shaking either. lottie moves to sit next to her, not quite touching, but nat jerks up straight when she does anyways, like she’s been electrocuted

“i didn’t do it,” nat says with resolve, but lottie can tell that the girls is seconds away from crying. well, that’s that. the decision has been made for her by the wobble of nat’s lower lip and the fear in her eyes. they cannot stay here, and have nat face the onslaught of questions that is sure to be thrown at her when the other yellowjackets arrive. lottie nods at nat, and stands up only moments after she’s sat down

nat’s eyes follow lottie’s movements and land on her outstretched hand. after a moment of obvious fighting with herself, she takes lottie’s hand, and lottie pulls her up to her feet, bending to grab nat’s duffel bag and sling it over her shoulder before turning to head out of the locker room, dragging nat behind her by their clasped hands

nat is limp, following lottie blindly and without care. whatever lottie is doing, whatever the taller girl wants, is surely better than being at soccer practice or, god forbid, being at home. so when lottie opens the passenger side door to her ridiculous bmw, nat gets in and obediently buckles herself in. once lottie rounds the car and settles into the drivers seat, she reaches over and retakes nat’s hand into her own, intertwining their fingers and turning the key to start the engine

if nat was paying attention, she would notice the worried glances lottie sends in her direction very few seconds, not paying nearly enough attention to the road. she would notice lottie’s thumb rubbing soothing circles into nat’s knuckles, and maybe she would have the sense to be embarrassed. she would notice that they were obviously taking the route to lottie’s mansion, and she would maybe object. as it was, nat was not paying attention, her mind replaying the shot and the splat in a split second loop, over and over

lottie drags nat out of the car, up her front step, into her house and up wining staircase and long hallway to her bedroom. nat doesn’t really come to until she’s startled out of her haze by the feeling of lottie’s tall frame completely enveloping her own, smaller one. they’re stood in the middle of lottie’s room, and lottie is hugging her, pulling nat tight to her chest with tan arms wrapped around her shoulders

nat hugs her back without really thinking, and tears fill her eyes instantly before spilling over. she wraps her arms around lottie’s middle and burrows her face into lottie’s shoulder, tears and snot soaking the girl’s faded yellowjackets t shirt she would only be caught in at practice, which nat suddenly realizes is where they should both be. she doesn’t move for a long time

hours later finds nat asleep in lottie’s bed, and lottie worrying her lower lip between her teeth thinking about what she’s supposed to do now. she can’t let nat go back to her trailer, she won’t survive being there. she can’t send her back there, not without the guilt eating her alive. she’s shaken from her thoughts by nat mumbling in her sleep and snuggling closer, which brings a small smile to lottie’s face

at least she can give this to nat, some comfort and some warmth

eventually she falls asleep. in the morning nat blinks herself awake, confused for a moment as she takes in her surroundings. she suddenly remembers everything; her dad, the gun, a loud shot and a splatter of blood, police lights, sirens, a zombie-like walk to school, the locker room, lottie, lottie’s house, her room, her strong arms and coconut scent, her soft bed, her warm body, and then sleep

when lottie wakes up, she wraps her arms tighter around nat and mumbles “school?” to which nat shakes her head no

and so they don’t go, and instead, the warm glow of the noon sun filtering through the lace blinds finds the pair tangled up in lottie’s bed, nat in lottie’s too-big pyjamas and lottie’s tshirt marked by fresh tears every so often. sometimes, nat talks, yes about what happened but mostly about nothing, kevyn tan or her dumb english teacher or soccer practice

lottie makes laugh when she can, and strokes her hair when she can’t

it’s not a fix, but it’s something. it’s the best they know how to do

[tare-anime]

This lovely art from @aerequets really aligned with one of my HCs about how Yor's past will be revealed to us:

The three of them unexpectedly meet at one mission. Maybe Twilight was trying to find information, Yor was doing her mission, and Yuri was suspecting something fishy at the SSS higher ups. Or something like that

After the first commotion, which somehow resolved quickly because the three of them coorperate, Yuri aim his gun towards Twilight, full with hatred because this man bertrayed his sister. Twilight was full with guilt. And Yor felt her world crumble because the two most important men in her world were not what she think they were.

Nevertheless, Yor tried to separate them. And yet both men were so stubborn.

They were so focused into their fight that they didn't realized reinforcement came, until Yor step up in front of them and was severely injured protecting them.

Both men finally direct their anger towards the reinforcement whose goals was to eliminate any eye witness.

Fierce battle ensues, but of course our heroes managed to survive (barely, in Yor's case).

Twilight and Yuri then cooperate and rush to help the most important woman in their life.

Twilight told Yuri to find transportation, while he tried his best to stop his wife's profuse bleeding.

Yor gently held his hand, and whispered, "Don't abandon Anya..." which Twilight's responded with, "No. I will never." And in his desperation he told her that he will finally took a holiday from his job, and they will go to the apple festival at neighbour town (or any other family activity), which Yor responded with, "I'd love that."

Twilight smiled and warned his wife to take a deep breath cause his next action would hurt like hell.

And indeed it was.

The bleeding slowed down but enduring the pain was too much for weakened Yor and she passed out.

Twilight bit his lips to stop himself from crying, when he hugged and covered his wife with his jacket, whispering, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry....I'm sorry...."

Yuri came with functional vehicle and all of them rushed to medical facility.

At the hospital / hidden medical facility (maybe WISE's), Twilight was sitting, waiting with 'dead look' on his face. (For once he cannot do anything. For once all he can do was sit and wait.)

Yuri shoved a cup of hot coffee in front of his face, and said "My sister is strong. She managed to survive injury this severe back then, of course she will survive again this time."

Twilight was shocked to hear that. And we get a bit of Yor's flashback via Yuri's POV.

Little Yuri was sitting at the side of his sister's hospital bed. At that time he was told that Yor got an accident during her job/being mugged etc. And little Yuri cried his tears of joy when Yor finally opened her eyes. He took care of her. And after she finally able to stand back on her feet, Yuri studied extra hard, and got accepted at the Uni at 14 y.o.

Twilight was surprised to hear the story.

The doctor came out and tell the men that Yor has survived her surgery, and will be closely monitored at the ICU.

Just when Twilight want to see her, Handler came and asked him to finish the interrupted mission. So he went with several WISE agents.

He succeed in finishing the mission, and returned to the hospital.

Upon entering Yor's room, he saw Yuri snoring at the sofa. Anya curled at Yor's side. And his wife was sleeping with so many monitor cables, IV lines, oxygen mask attached to her.

He carefully held her hand and whispered, "Yor, please come back to us. To me."

Yor was dreaming about her past. When she was living happily during childhood, Yuri's birth, her parent's death. Her survival during her first years after her parent's death. Her meeting Garden. Her harsh training. Her first kill. (All of these will make our heart shatters without a doubt 😭💔💔)

And during her harshest days, she will always remembered her father's words, "Remember the warmth of your family. Your home."

Her father's words still echoing when Yor finally opened her eyes.

She looked around and deduced that apparently she was still alive. Especially since she can feel the warmth around her.

At the sofa, Yuri was sleeping soundly. Curled right next to her was Anya. And the one holding her hand was her husband.

She smiled, and with all the power she had at the time, she carressed her husband's hand with her thumb.

Loid jolted awake. And in his disoriented state, his eyes widen, and come close to his wife, whispered, "Yor?"

Yor rasped, "I'm..... home...."

Loid cried out of happines, and kissed her saying, "Welcome home." (And we will be bawling hard over this panel for sure 😭😭😭😭)

[melis-writes]

The Other Woman [Michael Corleone x Reader Multichapter, 18+ Smut] Chapter 5 – A Part of The Family.

Read on AO3 / Read Chapter 4 / Chapter Masterlist / Fanfic Playlist.

18+, explicit smut read.

"Michael cares about you, don't forget that." / "Forget Kay. This has nothing to do with her."

With the Las Vegas gala approaching, you can neither get your mind off of spending the formal evening with the Corleone's nor do you hear the end of it at the Lake Tahoe compound. Growing closer with both Anthony and Mary who've begun to open up to you and enjoy your teaching, your career as the Corleone household's governess thrives and is noticed by Michael and Kay for different reasons altogether. Kay has slowly begun to doubt her parenting skills from observing you whereas Michael is no longer waiting for you to give in but making his first move. In the meanwhile, what you've learned about the Corleone family only further convinces you Michael may be living in Vito Corleone's legacy, but is nothing like the bloodthirsty mafiosi that killed your brothers. Patience between the sexual frustration mounting between you two will take you both to Las Vegas, but Michael intention isn't to be the center of attention at a gala his family his hosting–it's to make you his.

[WARNINGS]: Sexual themes & mentions.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: Another chapter is finally here and an important one marking the end of this "slow burn" between Michael and Marina. 🤭💓 Michael won't stop to get at what he wants and he's no longer waiting for Marina to give in because he knows she can't in front of everyone and peering eyes, of course. 😳 Next chapter and onwards will be scandalous and promiscuous Michael's waited until the Las Vegas gala and he's going to make his first move, if it wasn't obvious in this chapter! 😈

Hired by the Corleone family as a governess, you relocate to the Lake Tahoe family compound, looking forward to your future in Nevada until you meet your employer—Michael Corleone. Your future is then ensnared only in lust and forbidden love for Michael since the beginning, and you find yourself yearning for a married man you can never have. Desire and passion clash with one another as Michael takes you to be his mistress—only having an exclusive sexual relationship with you while his sex life with Kay dies out. Knowing from the beginning you’ll never truly be with Michael and that your place in his life is worlds apart from Kay’s as the other woman, the love you have for him consumes you until it threatens to burn out everything you’ve ever had with Michael.

“I know you’re not used to these sorts of things,” Michael’s tone of voice is low and soothing, his words velvety as he speaks them so close to the side of your neck that you can feel his soft breath on you.

Your heart thunders in your chest from arousal and excitement coursing through you as you linger by the doorway of Michael’s office; refusing to step out and away from this man for as long as you possibly can.

“You will be,” Michael continues, taking a step closer to you and standing directly behind you, “as you get to understand my family name and the hospitality the Corleones offer.”

“Yes, sir,” you breathe back, barely audibly as the scent of Michael’s cologne hits you again.

Michael gazes at your back before letting his eyes wander admiringly over your figure, the curve of your hips and the shape of your thighs clinging against your pencil skirt. “Stay by me throughout the evening and you’ll be fine—if it comes to that.”

You give a small nod, slowly turning around to face Michael as you speak to him. “As long as I’m not disturbing your evening.”

You cannot push away the idea of possibly being a burden to the Corleones on such a special evening and social gathering, seeming as if you constantly need to be watched lest you somehow act out of line or do something wrong in front of hundreds of wealthy investors and businessmen.

“Nonsense,” Michael affirms, looking you in the eyes. “You’re not a burden, you’re my governess. You’re my guest.”

You surprise yourself with how you’re able to step out of Michael’s office without stumbling over your own two feet after having that conversation come to an end.

The tips of your ears and your cheeks sting, burning with blush as all you can think is how Michael’s planning to have this evening be tailored to you and your comfort up to the point where he’s picked out your gown for the evening.

As you make your way out of the Corleone estate and back to your living quarters, you remind yourself that even if you think Kay knows Michael’s done such a thing, you’ll keep everything and anything that happens between you and Michael all to yourself.

‘Everything should be fine.’

 You don’t think Kay would mind too much but then again as you think it over, the idea of having your husband pick out an evening dress for another woman stirs a bit of jealousy inside of you that you don’t think Kay is immune to herself.

Maybe Kay would look too deep into it; perhaps Kay knows her husband isn’t the type of man to just “pick” out a dress for someone and since Kay knows Michael like the back of her hand and you don’t, the possibilities are endless.

Kay’s mind may first go to Michael being generous and picking out a dress for you simply because you forgot to choose, or he chose a random one simply for the sake of saving time for the order, but if it comes to overthinking Michael’s picked out an evening dress for you because he thought about what color adorns your skin and body perfectly and what he’d like to see you in… It would mean trouble.

There’s nothing going on between you and Michael that you’re entirely aware of for the time being, but even having the slightest bit of a crush on a man like Michael Corleone must absolutely not be given away or told to anyone.

If you let your fantasies and the beat of your heart delude you into assuming something more with Michael, you may find yourself outed to people for trying to flirt and be with a married man who seems all too unattainable to you even if he was a bachelor.

Nobody can know how you feel about Michael; not now, and not ever. You know your heart would be better off if he doesn’t catch onto how you feel either.

~

All throughout the week, the only thing mentioned back and forth again with excitement and anticipation is the upcoming gala in Las Vegas this Saturday.

Whether you hear it giddily from Kay or Connie whose been carefully curating the perfect outfit for the evening makes no difference; there’s a thrill sparking inside you when you think of attending your first black tie event with the Corleone family that more often than not blends in with the amount of nervousness you feel about it too.

“That’s what I’m saying!” You overhear Kay excitedly exclaiming to Sandra over in the kitchen. “The family has come so far. I’m honestly so proud of Michael, he does so much for us. All that’s mentioned in Reno and Las Vegas in the business is our family name, you know that? It’s incredible how we’ll we’ve done.”

Something tells you however that Michael hasn’t and most likely won’t be giving Kay all of the details about his or the family’s business but if it’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s just how powerful and influential the Corleone family truly is.

‘Michael Corleone is a hell of a businessman and a good one at that…’

The topic of the Las Vegas gala is all the more unavoidable the closer you are to Kay which is consistent throughout the day as you teach the children, quietly mark homework, and take a break while going through some paperwork.

Sandra, Connie, and Theresa both share the excitement and anticipation for the gala, but none come near the unmatched enthusiasm of Kay.

Of course, Kay’s experience is just as incomparable as her excitement for the gala as being Mrs. Corleone has its benefits and luxuries others won’t share or come close to having

Michael and Kay Corleone together are the hosts of the gala and all eyes and ears will be on them throughout the night above all.

“Hopefully we’ll manage to enjoy a good dinner together,” you hear Kay sigh, “I just know the minute Michael arrives, all of his business partners will do anything to get a word in with him first. They won’t want to leave him alone.”

You find yourself blushing at the mention of Michael’s name, no longer catching yourself or mentally scolding yourself for it.

You wish you can be the one holding Michael’s attention consistently throughout the evening as if it was up to you, you would want him all to yourself for the remainder of the event regardless of whose desperate to talk business matters with Michael.

As Kay’s conversation with Sandra fades off onto another subject, you brush the topic out of your mind and continue focusing on your lesson planning for the day.

You ensure you’ve double-checked your planner so there’s enough time in tomorrow’s lesson for enough repetition and homework check, but also sufficient time to introduce a new unit without all of it being overbearing in one lesson.

‘A final little test for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for piano should wrap up this unit before we learn another piece…’ Distracted, you haven’t realized that the estate has gone completely quiet except for a faint giggle coming from Kay.

Blinking, you sit up straight on the couch in the living room—expecting Kay or Sandra to walk in only to see Michael enter a split second later.

Your face flushes a shade of scarlet instantly from the blush stinging your cheeks, watching as Michael himself remains distracted by adjusting his gold watch over his wrist.

‘God…’ Your muscles tense up from arousal as you eye Michael eagerly, letting a swarm of butterflies rush over you at the sight of him.

Michael’s dressed in a wine-red dress shirt with the first three buttons undone, no tie, black dress trousers, matching leather belt, and white socks.

If you’d missed the sight of him for a few seconds longer, you’d have already picked up on his heavenly sandalwood and musk cologne filling the living room only adding to your sexual tension when you see a peek of Michael’s chest hair from his dress shirt.

Michael’s hair appears slightly damp as if he’s showered recently but a light layer of gel shines through his black locks, neatly slicked back and parted from the middle.

It’s obvious Michael has no intention to be dressed for business and professionalism right here and now, but his appearance is still sharp, and cleans up very well.

Just as Michael finishes clasping his watch over his wrist, he makes direct eye contact with you.

Your heart races in your chest as you give him a shy smile back; hoping to yourself out of embarrassment Michael didn’t notice you gawking at him the entire time before he looked over at you.

Only the thought of what it would be like to be held in Michael’s arms, nuzzle his neck to pick up that scent of cologne so close to you before beginning to kiss his warm skin and lead down to his collarbones takes precedence over your mind.

You can’t stop yourself from fantasizing about the man right in front of you, thinking, ‘God, what I would do to…’ You picture yourself unbuttoning down the rest of Michael’s shirt to kiss and lick up his chest; gladly getting down on your knees right away to undo his belt.

Only a brief moment passes as Michael begins to button up his dress shirt at the sight of you for the sake of being professional and not coming off as sloppy although Michael himself would prefer to show you more as well.

Michael gives you an acknowledging nod back to your smile before he exits from the living room, but the scent of his cologne remains as if his presence is still in here and so does the lingering feeling in your heart.

You can practically feel your heart aching and the sensation growing heavier and heavier upon each confrontation and conversation; you can no longer stop yourself from feverishly desiring this man nor do you want to.

‘Stop, Marina. Just stop… You’re doing this to yourself.’

You squeeze your eyes shut, desperately trying to block out any thought and mention of Michael Corleone from your head for just one minute.

‘I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I did this to myself.’

~

[ 1 Day Before The Las Vegas Gala ]

Having wrapped up your last lesson before the Las Vegas gala, you spent the last bit of your day doing homework review with all your students to start with a new learning unit next week for everyone.

In the morning, you reviewed math and history worksheets with the Hagens and Sandra’s children, then had a private review session with Anthony as requested by his parents before now doing the same with Mary to end your day.

In the Corleone estate’s study room, you and Mary sit side by side at the center study desk, overviewing a math worksheet from earlier this week.

With the evening air setting in and light rain out, you can see the glisten of the compound’s security lights slowly rotating around the estates outside and enjoy the soft sounds of rain surrounding the estate.

“Anthony says it’s easy,” Mary pouts at the worksheet in front of her, looking at the multiplication homework.

“Maybe it’s easy for him, but not for everyone and that’s okay,” you give Mary a reassuring smile. “We all learn differently, don’t we?”

 “Hmm…” Mary peeks up at you, feeling somewhat relieved. “All the homework is easy for you, right Miss Marina?”

“You think it is?” A playful grin forms over your lips.

“Maybe,” Mary giggles, shrugging her shoulders. “Because you teach math really well.”

Unbeknownst to both of you, Kay made her way down the hallway and towards the study room just a few moments prior to pop her head in and take a peek as to how the homework review is going, only to remain in front of the ajar study door and out of sight instead.

Kay thinks to herself that she’ll enter the study room at the perfect moment and chime in on the topic of homework to see Mary’s progress face to face but without interrupting your review and explanations to Mary.

“Why thank you,” you give Mary a beaming smile, “I try my best, but believe it or not, I wasn’t very good at math when I was growing up.”

“Really?” Mary’s eyes widen in disbelief, “no way! How?”

Kay smiles, gazing at her daughter between the crack of the door as she continues listening in on the conversation, clasping her hands together in front of her.

“See,” you chuckle, “when it comes to a subject like math, once you know what you’re doing step by step, all the answers start to come to you and they begin to make sense. That’s why when we do multiplication homework like this,” you hold up the worksheet in your hands, “we like to see and write down all of the steps we took to get the answers for these numbers, right?”

“Right,” Mary nods, looking back at the worksheet.

“So it’s all about understanding and learning the steps first. Then you got it,” you set the worksheet back down on the desk, “and you already did so well on this, Mary. I’m proud of you. Even for the questions you got wrong here,” you gesture to the paper, “you tried, you put in the work and all your steps. That’s why we go through them now, right? So we can see where we made our mistakes and how we can correct them.”

“Yeah,” Mary giggles to herself. “It… It was fun!”

“Oh yeah?” Your eyes light up, “it was, wasn’t it? Maybe not so much the whole homework part, but—” both of you burst out laughing in unison. “But the learning was probably the most fun!”

“Learning with you, Miss Marina,” Mary adds, nodding happily.

Kay feels nothing but joy in her heart to see that sparkle in Mary’s eyes speaking for her enthusiasm and how she’s genuinely improving in her math lessons with you then and there.

“I’m very happy to hear that,” you can’t help the growing smile on your lips. “Actually, maybe you’re the first student to say that homework might be a little fun too!”

It’s when Mary exclaims, “Miss Marina is the best!” and gleefully leans in to give you a hug that the proud and joyful smile on Kay’s face begins to fade.

Kay moves her hand away from the study door, watching as you hug Mary back and say, “and you’re the best student!”

It’s not that Kay’s unable to show her own daughter affection or receive any in return—of course, Mary hugs her mother—but it’s the snuggling and the bubbly attitude of Mary’s she consistently keeps up with you and is more than comfortable in your presence is something Kay has had difficulty keeping up with her own children.

Feeling a sharp pain tugging at her and hating herself for letting a wholesome moment between student and governess hit this close to her own struggles, Kay bites down on the corner of her lip before turning back on her heel and walking away.

Mary and you haven’t noticed a thing, and it’ll only be another five minutes until the homework review is officially wrapped up and Mary skips off back to her room to get ready for bed.

As you begin to organize and tidy up the rest of your paperwork remaining on the desk, you hear a soft knock at the door and recognize that rhythm of knocking can only come from one person—Tom Hagen.

“Evening, Marina,” you hear Tom’s voice just a moment after. “May I come in?”

“Of course,” you look back towards the door, greeting Tom with a smile as he walks into the study and quietly shuts the door behind him.

“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Tom says sheepishly, noticing the pile of paperwork over your desk.

“Definitely not,” you let out a soft laugh, pushing the paperwork in front of you toward the corner of the desk.

“Finishing up for the night?” Tom chuckles.

“Something like that,” you turn in your chair to face Tom.

“How do you feel about tomorrow afternoon?” Tom asks, shifting the conversation over to the Las Vegas gala as you expected him to.

Both of you exchange an understanding glance, knowing the conversation would come to this.

“Well…” You open your mouth to answer before pausing and remaining quiet for a moment as you ponder what to say back to Tom. “I can say I feel strongly towards it.”

“Mm,” Tom nods, smiling at the floor. “I thought so, which doesn’t sound like a bad thing coming from you. It is your first time traveling to and attending a gala, isn’t it?”

“It is,” you confirm. “I’m a little anxious about it but excited. You know, I’m sure that same excuse has been made a million times over, so,” you laugh quietly to yourself. “I don’t know.”

“Sure, but that’s normal,” Tom replies back. “It’s a formal gala and this one only takes place every few years, especially on the anniversary date for the Corleone family business in Reno and Las Vegas.”

“Did Michael send you?” You give Tom a small smile, thinking this may just be last-minute reassurance on Michael’s behalf since you don’t expect him to come into the study to talk with you one on one at this hour.

Only a split second later do you feel embarrassment wash over you, wondering why you just asked Tom that.

“No?” Tom blinks in confusion, “I thought I’d come to check in on you.”

“Don’t think me ungrateful, Tom,” you giggle, “I get it. I really appreciate it. I just thought Michael may have sent you because he’s essentially said the same to me.”

“Of course he did,” an amused grin forms over Tom’s lips. “Which is why he’d want me to tell you that if you do have any questions or concerns, Michael would want you to voice it to him directly, not to me or even through me.”

“That makes sense,” you blush, glancing away.

‘If it’s an excuse to see and talk to Michael, I’ll take it…’

“Michael as I can already guess,” Tom rolls his eyes before laughing to himself, “wants you to feel as comfortable and welcome at the gala as you do here. Still think he’s intimidating?”

You glance back at Tom and the two of you stare at each other for a moment before you both burst out laughing.

“No?” you say through your laughter, covering your mouth.

“I know, I know,” Tom holds his hands up in surrender. “I hate to word it that way, but I just had to ask. I know Michael can be when he wants to.”

“Maybe so,” you lean back in your seat, “but I don’t really see it. I’m getting to know Michael better and understanding the kind of man he is as I am with the rest of the family.”

“Good,” a look of relief crosses Tom’s expression. “Then that’s all you need, hmm? We take very good care of our own, Marina. You don’t have to take my word for it,” Tom puts his hands into the pockets of his trousers, smiling at you. “And Michael cares about you, don’t forget that.”

~

“Michael cares about you, don’t forget that.”

Tom’s words linger with you long after he’s retired for the evening, and only then do they sink in and you find yourself begging your heart not to overthink it again.

Relaxing your muscles against your seat, you let out a soft breath and gaze around the study room, feeling accomplished to have finished your work for the day, planned next week’s lessons upon your return from the gala, and have all of your paperwork in order.

You’ve had a productive day at the very least, leaving you only to think about how tomorrow will be.

You know Esther went to bed early tonight, exhausted from keeping up with the children and you don’t blame her, but it leaves you without anyone to confide in tonight.

You’re still in the Corleone manor’s study after all but until the pouring rain begins to still or at least return to a drizzle, you doubt you can make it across the compound and back to your room without risk of catching a cold and being completely soaked.

‘No rush…’ You nibble on your bottom lip, pushing thoughts of the Las Vegas gala aside to think about tomorrow when it truly matters.

Brushing a curtain of your hair behind your ear, you stretch out your arms and let out a soft grunt as you rise up from your seat—deciding to indulge in a novel for a bit as you wait for the rain to settle down.

You move towards the bookshelves, stopping in your tracks for a moment to look at the sheer amount of bookshelves and selections remaining before you.

There are well over a dozen bookshelves on both sides of the study, placed for ample room so several people can pick and choose from one bookshelf at a time and so the study neither appears looking overcrowded or empty.

On each bookshelf remains small gold engraved labels stating what genre of books are on what shelf, particularly the books labeled under “history” further specifying years leading to language guides, fiction novels, first edition classics, non-fiction, and much more.

You blink at the selection, pleasantly taken back from so many choices that you almost feel overwhelmed at the thought of picking one novel when you could very well spend an endless amount of time in this study if you wanted to.

You walk over to one of the history-labeled bookshelves neatly organized with pressed newspapers, file folders, and leather-covered books next to well-preserved documents when you notice a label on the top shelf reading “FAMILY”.

You pause, wondering if this is a private section and if you should even be touching t in the first place.

Your eyes continue to wander over newspapers and documents on the top shelf as you gently pick through them with your finger so as not to cinch or damage any of the paper.

Starting at the very left side of the top shelf, common sense tells you that if there’s anything on this shelf—let alone in this study—that you’re not allowed to access or see, it wouldn’t be here.

The first few newspaper articles you touch over mention “CRIME FAMILY” with names of mafia families you’ve heard of and those you haven’t.

The names “Barzini” and “Tattaglia” stand out to you first and foremost, with the articles always mentioning the phrases “criminal underworld”, “boss”, or “big shot” to describe what you assume to be top-ranking mafiosi or the Dons of the crime families themselves.

Many of the newspapers you come across are dating chronologically from the start of the 1930s to all throughout the 1940s, consistently mentioning crime, the FBI, cases gone cold, or how the police are trailing them but it’s not until you get to 1946 that shock suddenly hits you.

You pull out a newspaper article with the front page reading: "VITO CORLEONE FEARED MURDERED: POLICE HUNT GUNMEN".

On the left side of the front page is a black and white portrait of Don Vito Corleone—Michael’s late father and on the right side, a photograph of the police and paramedics carrying a grievously wounded Vito in a stretcher.

‘Oh my God.’ You quickly set that article aside to read before finding another following it also dated in 1946 reading “POLICE CAPTAIN LINKED WITH DRUG RACKETS” next to a third article reading “POLICE HUNT COP KILLER”.

Setting those two aside with the article about Vito Corleone, the next article dated in 1947 you take out reads “THIRD MONTH OF GANGLAND VIOLENCE”.

‘There’s a pattern here…’ Moving towards the end of the shelf, you notice the coloring of the newspapers change—lighter and newer than the old articles you picked out.

Picking out the most recent newspaper placed last on the shelf, you find a blush hitting your cheeks immediately and almost dropping the article from your hands at the sight of a large black and white portrait of Michael himself on the front page; “MICHAEL CORLEONE: BUSINESSMAN THROUGH CORLEONE LEGACY”.

Gazing at the photograph of Michael, your heart rate begins to race in your chest once more—accompanied by a dizzying wave of butterflies.

Taking that last newspaper with the others you picked out, you look out towards the window and continue to hear the thundering rain.

The study door remains closed as Tom left it and you can’t hear any approaching footsteps, but then again you aren’t doing something you shouldn’t be, even if it may be embarrassing to explain to someone why you’re reading all of these old articles.

Funny enough, the recent article of Michael dated a month back would make the most sense, but not the others in your hands that you’re curious to read and learn more about.

“I mafiosi non sono tuoi amici. Ti useranno e poi ti uccideranno.” (Don’t trust Mafiosi as we did. Mafiosi are not your friends; they’ll use you and then they will kill you.)

You remember your mother and father’s warning words to you after the deaths of your brothers as you take the newspaper articles back to your desk to read.

These articles are nothing but mafia territory and an explanation of it; you know very well who Don Vito Corleone was and the legacy behind the Corleone family, after all.

Taking a seat and leaning your arms down on the desk, you begin to read the article “VITO CORLEONE FEARED MURDERED: POLICE HUNT GUNMEN”.

The article reads that Vito Corleone was found shot five times in the chest at close range while he was out with his son Fredo Corleone at a local fruit market.

It’s mentioned that Vito fell to his suspected demise in front of witnesses and passersby near the fruit stand who fled in terror.

Fredo Corleone—Vito’s son and on scene—was reported to be terrified beyond words; in a state of shock, sobbing and helplessly wailing over what he believed to be his father’s corpse.

Fredo was found by the police covered in his father’s blood and pleading with the paramedics and police officers to help.

You clasp a hand over your mouth, disheartened by what you’re reading.

Fredo is Michael’s older brother and you’re bound to meet him tomorrow as well—hearing from Kay that Fredo’s been in Hollywood for the past two months with his wife, famous actress Deanna Dunn who will also attend the Las Vegas gala.

‘This must be Fredo…’ Flipping the page, you see a somewhat blurry photograph of Fredo sobbing on the sidewalk with his face in his hands as Vito Corleone is taken away in a stretcher by paramedics.

The rest of the article continues to describe Vito as a “hot shot underworld gangster”, although such terms aren’t unheard of to you, especially growing up in Hell’s Kitchen.

The suspected gunmen are being investigated—the article states—and Fredo was also hospitalized due to his state of shock.

Lastly, before the article comes to an end, it mentions Vito Corleone is reported to be in critical condition and it’s not certain if he will make it or not.

The newspaper ends by saying this may be the start of violence as you or anyone else reading this article could have figured out since it’s all too common for full-blown mob wars to start when someone chooses to target a Don.

‘That’s a complete declaration of war, but were the police truly investigating?’ You assume that Vito must have had the police on his payroll for that to even take place.

‘And what about “POLICE HUNT COP KILLER”?’ At first glance of the front pages, you don’t recognize any correlation from the two newspapers but from their placement alone on the bookshelf, you know they must be related somehow.

As you read through both—comparing and contrasting dates and events noted in the articles as you go—you realize the dates of each article are just a week apart.

“POLICE CAPTAIN LINKED WITH DRUG RACKETS” was almost stuffed between “POLICE HUNT COP KILLER” on the shelf and revealed all of these events occurred within a week of each other.

The articles tell you that at a small, family-owned, Italian-American restaurant called Louis Restaurant, police Captain Mark McClusky was killed.

The article details that McClusky was shot once in the neck and then in the forehead at very close range and that he had been with a businessman named Virgil Sollozzo who was dining with him.

Sollozzo was also killed alongside McClusky; shot twice in the head which is suspected to be immediately after McClusky and both perished together at the dining table.

“My God,” you mumble to yourself, blinking at the headlines.

Naturally, it makes sense to you that one of the Corleone men—most likely a buttonman considering the stakes and killings done in a public restaurant—must have done this.

‘Does it have anything to do with Vito Corleone being shot? It must be. It has to be for revenge.’

When your eyes gloss over the next newspaper article reading “POLICE CAPTAIN LINKED WITH DRUG RACKETS” immediately tells you this police Captain McClusky himself was directly involved with the mafia and the dates can only further reveal it must have been either for Barzini or Tattaglia.

Those are the only two mafia families you’ve heard of that have corrupted themselves with smuggling and selling narcotics and you can already guess what a wide-scale scandal this headline must have created.

It makes all the more sense why a man like McClusky and Sollozzo would both be killed, especially together.

If it’s one thing you know about the mafia, it’s that they will not kill an innocent person deliberately; considering the mafia family at hand upholds Sicilian mafioso traditions and customs.

Mafia families have no room to appear anything less than decent and proper, lest they risk exposing their own corruption and members to law enforcement and the public eye.

With two shots in the head a piece—just like how your brothers were gunned down—you know Sollozzo wasn’t collateral damage; he was a target just as much as McClusky was.

Picking up the article titled “MICHAEL CORLEONE: BUSINESSMAN THROUGH CORLEONE LEGACY”, you sigh in relief to see the article has nothing to do with the others you’ve read.

Dated just a month ago, the up close and personal portrait of Michael on the front page has your heart racing and begging for you to stop gazing upon it again and again.

Turning the page, you immediately begin to read the article that explains to you how Michael Corleone, son of underworld bigshot Vito Corleone is a successful businessman on his own terms and by his own hard work and gain.

Vito Corleone himself may have been infamous but was also a respected man, and aside from generational wealth, Michael further gained a positive and lucrative reputation and opportunity for the Corleone family following Vito’s death.

Unlike Vito, the newspaper states Michael does not involve himself in bookmaking, racketeering, or other forms of crime found brewing n the mafia’s hand but invests in businesses, stocks, casinos, hotels, and resorts.

The article also names that the most successful and booming hotel resorts owned by the Corleones are the biggest ones in Reno and Las Vegas and that the Corleone family plans to continue expanding.

Michael’s stated to be very successful in all of the best ways possible building off of his father’s legacy, and is also noted to be a multi-millionaire who married his college sweetheart—a woman named Kay Adams Corleone—in 1951.

With the mere mention of “college sweetheart” alone, you find yourself frowning without even being aware of it—once again feeling a sting of jealousy hit you.

Reading past the part that says Michael and Kay have two children with each other, you’re just about to set the newspaper down and organize all of them to put them back on the shelf when you notice you left one article aside without touching it.

The last newspaper you set out has a bold headline reading “THIRD MONTH OF GANGLAND VIOLENCE” and when you pick it up, it details that over three months of violence ensued between the Corleones, Tattaglias, and Barzinis but even the newspaper has worded such “conflict” in a crafty way so as not to state it explicitly.

This article appears to be the next one chronologically dated after “POLICE CAPTAIN LINKED WITH DRUG RACKETS” and stresses that a bloody mafia war has cost the families in lives and millions with no sign of stopping or being sidetracked.

It’s only when you reach the very end of the article do your eyes widen in shock as you clasp a hand over your mouth.

The last bit states the eldest son of Vito Corleone and his protegee—Santino Corleone—was assassinated by what is suspected to be the Barzini family.

“Jesus…” You remember Tom briefly mentioning Santino, his, Fredo’s, and Michael’s eldest brother but from the looks of the article, it’s very apparent to you that Santino was a full-on mafioso and completely involved in all activities of the family.

You know you should have no pity in your heart for the death of any mafioso, but you can’t help yourself but feel empathy for Santino Corleone’s death even though you’ll never meet him or understand the man he was behind his criminal activities.

‘He was a Corleone too, after all.’

Finally setting down all of the newspapers before you in a neat pile, you take a deep breath and rub your sore eyes.

Your gaze meets up with the locked door of the study once more as you mentally remind yourself that you’re not doing anything “wrong” or “snooping” but that what you just did actually benefit you in learning more about the Corleone family on your own terms.

Everything you’ve just read may have explained the bloody mafia history behind the Corleone family name amidst others, but nothing shows you Michael is or was ever involved.

The article revolving around Michael practically sings of his praises, saying Michael is a young, witty, and cunning businessman who holds the reigns of the Corleone family and leads it to success.

Yet again, you have no second thoughts about Michael, no doubts in your heart about his integrity or honesty and you believe and trust in Michael to be a good person.

You want him to be and you trust him to be, just the way you trust Michael to show you that side of him to you tomorrow.

~

[ Next Morning ]

With the excitement ringing through the compound coming from the Corleone women up early to have bodyguards and chauffeurs begin packing their bags, you momentarily went into a panic thinking you must have slept into the afternoon.

Recognizing it Sandra, Connie, and Kay’s anticipation put them in a rush to get packed and ready, the first thing you do in the morning after refreshing in the bathroom and pulling on a simple shirtwaist dress is putting your one piece of luggage outside and next to Kay’s three to be loaded into one of the cars.

By the time you’re out to set your luggage down, Kay and the others are back in shouting hairstyle and makeup suggestions back and forth to each other to get it all done before the afternoon.

You smile to yourself, turning around and squinting your eyes up at the warm sun soaking over your skin. You know you won’t be spending half as much time getting glammed up for a plane ride to Vegas and that you’ve got ample time in your day to get ready.

Just as you’re about to turn back on your heel and head back to your living quarters to properly begin to get ready you hear Michael’s velvety voice calling for you from behind.

“Good morning, Marina,” you hear Michael speak as you stop in your tracks and suddenly you feel almost bare and hardly semi-presentable before him.

‘Oh my God.’ With instant reaction, your muscles clench from arousal in the presence of Michael—eagerly gazing at the new tailored, three-piece, black and silk Italian suit he’s wearing; black silk tie and gold cufflinks.

Michael’s hair is gelled back and parted through the middle neatly; not a single hair loose nor a wrinkle in his suit with all the awareness you’re not able to get your eyes off of him even if you wanted to.

“I hope you slept well,” Michael’s eyes meet yours as you turn around to face him; briefly admiring your natural beauty under the glowing rays of the sun.

‘This man… I swear.’

“Michael,” you breathe back, smiling at him. “As well as I could. I hope you have as well.”

Michael gives you a nod before gesturing his hand towards a bodyguard approaching from the other end of the compound, pointing towards your luggage in specific—not Kay’s or Connie’s.

“Thank you,” you whisper to the bodyguard who gives you an acknowledging glance before taking your luggage to pack next.

“It doesn’t hurt to be proactive and pack for this afternoon, however,” Michael glances back towards his and Kay’s estate. “Rest assured we’re still leaving at our planned time; no sooner, no later.”

“Right,” you chuckle. “I was just going to head back and get ready my—”

“ANTHONY! Anthony!” You hear Kay cry out from the estate in a hurry. “Sweetheart, don’t forget your tie! It’s not put on right! Come here, please.”

“Well,” Tom’s voice chimes in as he exits from the Corleone estate. “At this rate, we’ll all be ready by the afternoon. Hi, Marina.”

“Hi, Tom,” you give him a small wave, “are two cars taking us?”

“That’s right,” Michael nods.

“We might actually be back in three if…” Tom cringes, giving a short shrug. “If Fredo is bringing Deanna back to stay with us for a bit.”

Although you can tell Tom is more than just mildly irritated by the idea, you see Michael’s expression hardens at his suggestion but he doesn’t react further.

“Not something you look forward to?” You break the momentary silence falling in between you three.

“Uh,” Tom scratches the back of his neck, “I suppose not. Miss Dunn can be a handful and well, so can Fredo sometimes. You’ll see.”

Michael takes a step closer towards you before you three look back up towards the Corleone estate to see the front door burst open and Anthony snickering, rushing out with a loose tie over his neck and a helpless Kay following after him.

“Anthony, seriously!” Kay huffs, “Anthony, this isn’t funny! Get back here!”

‘Ah, Anthony…’

You notice as Tom grins and gestures towards Anthony. “Kid’s full of energy, what can you do? I’ll get him for you, Kay.”

“Thank you, Tom,” Kay sighs in relief, looking back over at Michael who redirected his gaze to yours almost immediately.

“Marina?”

“Yes?” The scarlet blush over your cheeks deepens.

“Walk with me,” he gestures, turning his back on Kay and the estate.

Nodding, you walk up closer to Michael and remain by his side as he leads you away from his estate and further back toward your living quarters, barely having acknowledged Kay in the midst of all that.

Kay blinks in confusion, watching Michael and you walk away together but from the exhaustion of keeping up with Anthony and hearing Mary calling back to her whining a bow fell out of her hair, Kay can’t keep her thoughts straight and think much else of it.

Michael doesn’t need to pull you away or talk to you privately, he simply prefers to.

“You’ve packed everything you need?” He finally asks you once you’re both away from anyone else’s hearing distance.

“Mhmm, everything’s good to go,” you reply back.

“There will be something else when you arrive at your hotel suite in Vegas,”  Michael tells you.

“Something else…?” Your eyes begin to widen with curiosity.

“You’ll see when you get there,” Michael makes direct eye contact with you. “Kay tells me you have everything you two ordered…”

‘Ordered. You were the one who picked out that dress for me…’

“It’ll be ready in your suite as well when you arrive.” Michael finishes his sentence. “That’s all.”

‘What?’

“Right,” you nod back—the smile on your lips growing. “And thank you again for that, Michael. I can’t thank you enough.”

“You can thank me by wearing it,” Michael replies—surprising you with his response instead of saying “You don’t need to” or something similar when he hears you thanking him again and again. “I want to see you in it tonight.”

“Of course…” From Michael’s words alone, the arousal pumping through you feels as if your pussy has a heartbeat of its own despite your mind begging you not to take Michael’s words the way your body craves to.

“Is there anything else I can do to make your experience more comfortable?” Michael asks, putting his hands in the pockets of his trousers as you begin to approach your living quarters.

“I’m sure there’s a million more questions I’d like to ask but none of them come to mind,” you admit, sheepishly. “Knowing me.”

“Then as I’ve requested, stay close with me tonight,” Michael comes to a stop, facing you. “And then I’ll know.”

“I…” Blushing furiously, you give your head a small shake. “I know we talked about this and—”

“We did,” Michael reaffirms. “But I’m no longer suggesting it or offering it to you. I’m asking you to do it.”

“Wouldn’t Mrs. Corleon—”

“Forget Kay,” Michael interrupts, looking sternly into your eyes. “This has nothing to do with her. I want you there with me tonight, understood?” With your heart beginning to pound in your chest, you hardly have a moment to reply back to Michael before he adds, lowering his tone to a soft, ushered one, “Knowing you, I don’t know where else you’d want to be.”

[kurogxrix]

All Of My Love ( III. )

(Series Masterlist)

Neteyam x Avatar!reader

IN WHICH Neteyam’s mother and clan disapproves of your relationship, because you’re a dreamwalker. When you both advance in your relationship, the clan cannot help but attempt to ruin things for the both of you.

WC: 5.1K

Warnings: ANGST, Betrayal, misunderstandings, Neytiri being Neytiri, feels and heartbreaks. BADLY EDITED

Upon your arrival back at the High Camp, you were first greeted by the fierceness of Tarsem’s tight grip on your shoulder. You had not even had time to properly dismount your ikran, and his force had nearly caused you to stumble in front of everyone watching. Without much complaints from your side, you let the older man drag you to the centre of the chaos that was about to unfold.

You just couldn’t catch a goddamn rest in this clan.

He stopped abruptly before a large body of people and you were glad that his hand had left your sore shoulder. Your eyes flickered towards Zepii that was standing in the embrace of her mother, tear stained cheeks still evident. She gave you an apologetic look at her father’s actions. 

“You demons bring no other than calamity upon this land!” he affirmed with his strong accent and deep voice. Tarsem turned towards the rest of the clan that was encircling the both of you as you stood awkwardly before the many eyes. Neteyam had already arrived shortly after you. He didn’t know what he wanted anymore, whether to comfort you after his outburst or to sulk at his turn. Though when he witnessed the sight of you in the midst of attention, he just couldn’t help but stand back and watch. 

Tarsem grabbed your forearm roughly, showing you off to the clan as though they had never seen you before. His grip was tight enough to hurt for a while but nothing that would bruise. You shoulder suffered from the discomfort of the position, but you eased your mind by telling yourself that sooner or later, he would have to let go of you. 

“The dreamwalker has endangered my daughter on this day!” he roared and the mass of omatikaya seemed just as enraged as him. They yelled and thrashed in mass at your mere presence and you could help but wish for the ground to sink in and engulf you with it. 

“She saved me, father! If not, I would've not been standing here before you.” Zepii cried, trying to prove your innocence as her mother held her back. She had always been the clan’s little treasure, a kind mannered girl that never even dared to speak back before. So when she had raised her voice in your honour, Tarsem had truly been shocked. 

Tarsem turned around to face his daughter. For a moment, he had allowed himself to believe that she was solely protecting you for the sake of rebelling, because she had reached that age in her life. Though the genuine concern on her face spoke many words and her father had thought that you might’ve casted some kind of spell on her at that moment. Tarsem had made it clear from the start that she was not allowed to even dare and interact with you, and now it was clear that the both of you were close friends behind her parent’s backs. 

While the people were busy bickering amongst themselves, Neteyam had pushed his way to the front of the circle. His family was close behind and the little Tuk was begging Lo’ak to hop on his shoulders so she could see what was happening. 

“How could Toruk Makto even approve of you living amongst us, playing pretend like you will ever be one of the people.” After hearing the omatikaya mistreat you with their worlds for so long, Tarsem’s words had not affected you as he had hoped for. He wanted for you to be hurt, so damaged that you would leave and never return. He wanted you to realise that your place would never be among them, but with the humans instead. 

Jake had finally managed to push through the packed crowd at his turn, joining his son in his spot. It was suffocating to stand in the middle of the circle, not because of the packed area but because of all of the judgemental eyes. They pierced through your soul with disapproval and blind eyes, unable to see more than an artificial body and a demon. Jake sympathised with you because he had once been in your shoes, and look at where he was now. 

As the Olo’eyktan, it was his duty to settle down this argument and reinstall peace in his village. Neytiri however had seemed to have had other plans as she pushed her way past her husband. Her beaded braids rattled rhymically as she now stood before the other warrior. She moved swiftly towards you, heavy footsteps resonating against the floor as she made her way. Jake was quick to be on her tail, trying to prevent his wife from making the matters worse as she arrived before you. He could only wish that his wife’s hatred would not overtake her judgement towards you. 

“You will leave this village before you are the cause of any more trouble!” she ordered before the clan, authority drowning in her sharp tone. Hell, even Eywa would shudder at the woman’s tone. 

“And stop casting your filthy eyes towards my son, he is to be Olo’eyktan and he needs a real na’vi woman to rule at his side.” she rebuked you and your heart was racing faster than any speed your ikran could ever attain. The vexed look that Neteyam threw at his mother went unnoticed as everyone was too busy observing the dispute. 

“I have done more to your son than just ‘casting my filthy eyes on him’” you mocked her insult, digging yourself your own grave as Neytiri’s eyes widened at your intuition. The whole village gasped at your crude comment and that should’ve been an obvious warning for you to shut up, because which foreigner was stupid enough to go against a clan leader? You were tired of being berated by the woman, and you were enjoying playing around with her nerves for the moment, even if it meant that she would literally kill you afterwards. 

Your eyes moved towards the distressed Neteyam, and there was something in his eyes that told you to just shut the fuck up before you made matters worst. 

Neytiri’s anger only rose at your defiance, she stood right before you, towering over your frame as she stared straight into your soul. She pushed Tarsem’s hand away harshly, having the man nearly doubling over at the woman’s manners. She was quick to be the holder of your shoulder this time, though her grip was not as lenient as Tarsem’s. 

You winced slightly as her nails dug thoroughly into your flesh, nearly enough to draw the slightest amount of blood. She did not want to physically harm you, no that was not of her interest as of now. Her loathe towards you was just taking over her emotions and the fact that you refused to submit to her demand had made everything 10x worse. 

Jake wasn’t very far behind the both of you when he ripped apart his mate from you, slightly embarrassed at the scene that she was causing. Nevertheless he put his shame to the side to protect you from her wrath, because he knew of her abilities. She was Palulukan Makto, someone not to be messed with. Neytiri didn’t even bother to cast her mate a glare as she continued to look down at you.  “He will never be yours because he cannot!” 

“My son cannot be with you because he is already promised to another!” Neytiri hissed at you and you felt the time stop at her confession. You just couldn’t believe it, there’s no way Neteyam would’ve hidden this from you. Right? 

You turned back to look at him in all of your loud-silence and your heart throbbed at the evident guilt in his doleful eyes. His iris glistened with sorrow and his ears fell, grounded to his skull. His eyes quickly moved from your state of realisation and then to the floor, too ashamed to meet your eyes once more.  You felt your heart drop all the way to your toes as you moved to face Zepii, and she too, wore that same guilty look. She stood awkwardly on her feet as you stared her down, and the anxious fiddling of her fingers told you that she felt uneasy. 

Neteyam felt so much resentment towards his mother at the moment. Not because she had announced his betrothal, that was all on him to take the blame for. He should’ve told you from the moment he had begun to be infatuated with you. He should’ve told you when you had both shared a  kiss for the first time near the bioluminescent river flow. Though he did not, because under his tough guy persona, Neteyam was just a coward.

He was scared of so many things. He had fears that he could not even get to express to you. He feared disappointing his father and mother. He feared his family getting hurt. He feared the moment where you would’ve discovered his secret that he just couldn’t get himself to tell you. Now that everything was happening before his own eyes, he felt his fears turn into phobias - engulfing him in a darkness that he could not even escape. 

You felt your eyes fill up with tears, held back by your waterline. Though you refused to shed a tear for the same people that had betrayed you, so you forced yourself to suck them back in. You had cried enough for Neteyam in the past, and you refused to do it anymore. Though only in public, you were sure that you’d empty the contents of your body later on in your solitude. 

You refused to turn this into your own pity party, surely not before the omatikaya clan. Everything was as clear as day. Of course it had been, you had just been blinded by the love you held for the both of them. How could you not have seen it coming? The future Olo’eyktan, golden child of the Sully’s paired with the village’s perfect, favourable daughter of Tarsem. 

Maybe this was just a cruel joke played on you, perhaps Neteyam and Zepii were like all of the others. You grieved on all of the times that Zepii had made you feel like one of them and you told yourself that perhaps her father had put her up to it. She shared every single one of her secrets with you, and so did you. How could she have hidden this from you, even though she knew that it would wreck you over the line. 

You heard Zepii softly call out your name from the sidelines but she was met with the harsh sight of your ignorance. You felt the feeling of sorrow unlatch your heart, before feeling something new wrap around it with ease. You no longer felt as much sadness as you did before, instead you felt loathsome. You didn’t want to feel piqued towards the both of them for being promised, because you knew that it was most likely not their own choices anyways. You felt so conflicted because they had chosen to hide it from you. You wondered why Neteyam had chosen to, because of his forced courtship with the woman, he would’ve soon had to let you go to pursue the other woman. 

The other woman, was that what you had been this whole time? 

“Y/N, I can explain,” Neteyam pleaded but as he tried to move forward to seek you out, he was quickly prevented by the strong arms of his little brother. He looked back to glare at Lo’ak, trying to pull his arm from his brother’s oddly strong grip. 

“What are you doing Skxawng!” Neteyam growled at his younger brother, trying to tower over his frame. Though lo’ak stood up straight, asserting that he feared not his brother. His eyebrows were furrowed and the creases on his forehead were very much visible. Lo’ak had been your friend ever since he had met Spider, and even though he was not as close to you anymore as he once was, he knew what it felt like to be outcasted. 

He felt slightly relieved at first when you had joined the clan, because all judgmental eyes were turned towards you, and for once in his life - lo’ak could breathe again. Though after a while he felt slightly guilty for feeling such a way because he out of everyone would know what it feels like to not fit into other’s expectations. 

Lo’ak watched as his brother ruined his own relationship in excuse of his issues. He ruined what you both had because he was unable to trust you, whatever you did to prove yourself, it was never enough for his unreal expectations. He was afraid to give his full trust because of his fears. And that Lo’ak knew better than anyone else too. Neteyam trusted him very little, even though he loved his brother very much. Neteyam would always prevent Lo’ak from bringing Tuk out with him, or leaving during eclipse - because he failed to trust his brother completely. 

Now, he refused to watch his brother ruin you once more like he had already done. So if watching you walk away was what he had to force his elder brother into, then so he would. Neteyam had stopped resisting long ago, despite him overpowering his brother’s force by much, he refused to escape the grip that lo’ak held on him. 

He watched as you walked away from him once more, pushing your way through the heavy crowd. You look towards the dusty floor, too ashamed to look at anyone else right now. Today was pure humiliation for you, everything that had happened. The hunt accident, Tarsem's and Neytiri’s borderline assault and the public revelation that had been casted upon you. You had no idea of where you were headed, but you knew that anywhere out of the High Camp was for the best. 

-

You didn’t know how you had found yourself here, in the middle of the forest, lost in the midst of the night. The eerie sounds and weird feeling of being watched should have scared you, but you were in no mood to care at the moment. Few moments ago you had gone through both humiliation and heartbreak at the same time, you just couldn’t care much anymore. 

You were sitting on a log of deadwood, a hand supporting your chin as you rested your hand on it. Your other hand was on your lap as you watched the passing yerik carefully travel the forest. You had no weapon with you at the moment because you have left everything behind without looking back twice. Now you just felt utterly stupid, if some creature was to ambush you right now, you’d surely wake up in cold sweat in your human body - back at the lab. That’s where you should’ve been heading to right now, but a little detour around the forest was what you had chosen. 

Lost in your thoughts, you had failed to notice the way a silent na’vi had made her way towards you. Somehow even in your unknown location, she had seemed to have followed you all the way till here, simply on the back of her ikran. You turned your head towards her when you felt her sudden presence, not even jumping when you had noticed the strange third party. 

She was silent, and you appreciated that at the moment. The only sounds between you both were those of the belligerent yerik and the relaxing flowing of some fountain that you assumed was nearby. You looked at her up and down, wondering why she had even bothered to follow you. You had never once even spoken to the girl, she was the one that had challenged you into an ikran race earlier. 

“What do you want?” you tried not to sound too hostile, though her silence only seemed to rile you up. You liked her previous silence, now she was just seeming too mysterious for you liking. 

The girl simply blinked at you as she tilted her head to the side, admiring you as the soft hue of the plants reflected off your dark blue skin. She took in every single freckle that was on your body before looking back into your eyes. You observed carefully as she brought one of her hands between the both of you, pulling her hand into a fist apart from her index finger. She crooked her finger for it to resemble a hook before reaching out a hastily grabbing yours. 

You were taken aback at first from her suffen contact, but you were even more confused when she motioned for you to do the same gesture. So when you did, she hooked both of your fingers together. You looked at your entwined fingers before it hit you. 

The girl was mute. That’s why she had not once spoken to you ever since you had first met her. 

“What does this mean?” you question, even through the communication barrier, you wished to understand her. Eventually you wished to understand why she had followed you here, but you’d take what you’d get for now. You looked back at the girl as she pointed towards her chest, before moving it to yours. Trying to sign to you something.

“Friends? That’s what you’re trying to say, that we’re friends?” You beamed at her and she reciprocated your excitement. You were proud of yourself for understanding her vague explanation. 

“It must be hard that no one understands you,” you said and even though you did not mean to make her sad, her face fell slightly at your comment. You raised your eyebrows slightly, scared to have truly offended her. So you tried to comfort her.  “I know what you feel like.” 

She smiled softly at you before you thought of something once more, you did not know of her name yet. Though the communication barrier between the both of you stood too tall for you to even try and guess her name for now, there were just too many. Na’vi people had no written language, so unless you learnt sign language, you would never get to understand. You knew that you could probably meet her family, and if there was a chance that they too did not suffer from the curse of mutism, then they could tell you. 

Though you feared that her parents disliked you like the rest of the clan, so you stick with trying with her first. 

“Why did you follow me here?” 

“I have something important to tell you. About what happened with the chief's youngest daughter.” she signed to you but to no avail as you failed to understand her way of communicating. You felt as conflicted as the first time you had begun to learn the na’vi language. Though you were just as motivated to learn as when you had learned the native tongue of Pandora. So that night, you had stayed up during all of eclipse to learn her way, suffering through the endless back head slaps each time you would get something wrong. 

-

You had finally parted from Zuko, the mute girl that had become your best friend throughout the last two weeks that you had disappeared from the clan. She had taught you how to sign and she had joined you during dinner time every single day. You have laughed with her, even if no noise was coming from her side, you still enjoyed the fact that she was somewhat laughing. 

You had learnt so much about the girl in such little time. You had learnt that she had little friends because of her disability, that little people saw her. Though you saw her, and that was perhaps why she had chosen to help you. She was so shy that if she even had the ability to speak, she probably would avoid it at any time.  

Your feet hadn’t taken you much further than you had actually wanted them to, mostly because your path had been interrupted by a sudden predator. Just when you thought your day couldn’t go any shittier, you just had to encounter a hungry viperwolf while you were taking in the beauty of the place that surrounded you. 

You watched carefully as the wolf circled you and your tail tensed as you picked up on its soft growl. You knew that if you went back home to the lab tonight, it would probably be a farewell to your avatar body. Though it wouldn’t really matter if you died in your avatar tonight, Norm had told you that the experience wasn’t necessarily pleasant, and you didn’t feel like going through the feeling of death and ‘reincarnation’ of some sorts. 

You slowly backed away as the wolf approached you, silent paws marking the ground at its every move. You were scared, even terrified because as much as you didn’t want to kill the animal, you had no weapon to defend yourself anyways. Your eyes widened as you had noticed it, the slight limp from his left back leg. 

The creature growled everytime that it applied pressure to the sore spot, and soon it had stopped before you. It whined in pleas of help and your heart did a double take at the poor creature’s suffering. You kneaded down before the blue-ish viperwolf and its whole body shone within the iridescent colours of the body of plants surrounding you. 

It lifted its paw before you, using its 6 frontal ones to support its lanky body. You sighed at its problem, just an unlucky piece of wood that had stashed its way between his paw pads. Your hands worked quickly as you removed the splinter, because just about anything could anger a wild creature, even if you had not even caused it’s hurting. 

To your surprise, after your little play pretend of ‘vet and patient’ with the wolf, it gratefully rubbed itself against your bended legs. It reached up to your knees and rubbed its snout happily against your tall knee caps. You chuckled at the creature's relief and it soon set off under the soft twinkles of the many shinning stars. 

The encounter made you forget about the whole altercation of earlier, instead you were more focused on exploring more of Pandora’s beauty once more. Your legs brought you to a nearby lake as you watched flying fish erupt from the busy current. You had always thought that flying fish were only to be seen in saltwater bodies, but this incredible planet had truly proved you wrong. 

You continued to watch the various fish jump out of the water, their luminescent wings glowing of all sorts of colours. Your mouth was wide open as though a child in stages of first discovery but you couldn't care less in the solitude that you now stood in. 

The bushes beside you rustled but you were too enamoured by the fish to be bothered by it, you assumed that it must’ve been the viperwolf of earlier and you deemed him a good friend now. Your yellow eyes glistened as you outstretched one of your arms towards the body of water, submerging one completely under the water. It didn’t take much time for the swarm of fish to reach for your hand, their tiny mouths tickling your hand as they tried to nibble at it. 

The sensation made you giggle, a little too loud at that but the sound didn’t seem to have disturbed much of the animals around you. 

Suddenly, you felt the feeling of a familiar hand upon your shoulder - and the feeling resembled too much of what Tarsem’s harsh held felt like earlier. You quickly turned around, pulling your hand out involuntarily swiftly out of the river and onto your side as you tried to look at what had touched you. 

The fish quickly swam away from fear of your sudden movements and your heart quickly fell down to your toes as you were met nose to nose with the boy that had wounded you. 

“You have a connection with the All-Mother,” he pointed out, his soft yellow eyes staring deep into yours. Though you were not looking back at him as you forced yourself to look away. You forced yourself not to submit to his soft tone and adoring eyes, because you had done it once and looked at where that brought you. It had been 2 weeks since he had last seen you, and somehow Eywa just had to make your paths cross once more. 

You ignored his attempts at talking and failed to notice the hurt look in his eyes as you avoided his words. Though you wouldn’t care, it’s not like he was deserving of your attention after how he had been treating you. You stood up, dusting your loincloth gently as you patted it down for any dust to go. Neteyam was quick to follow after you, already up and standing steady on his strong legs as he followed you around like a lost puppy. 

He watched as your hand gently grazed the vegetation with your large palm. You abruptly came to a stop before something you had never seen before and he watched with amused eyes as you wandered around a stray little lizard. A teasing smirk was displayed on his face as he watched you approach the Kenten. Before you could even reach your hand fully out to it, the small reptile jumped off from the leaf - scaring you as it suddenly escaped.

Neteyam chuckled softly from beside you as he watched you observe with amazement at how the lizard unfurled its fan-like structure. Your pupils dilated and your ears furled out completely as you watched the lizard with an opened-mouth expression. Neteyam just couldn’t keep his laughter in anymore as you suddenly stood up, brushing your hand against every single disguised lizard that you could find. 

They flew off and spun around like fully circular fans, and your amazed expression had not even faltered yet. Your smile was still glued to your face even when the lizards had retracted their fans back onto their frail bodies, and Neteyam just couldn’t take his eyes off how you looked right now. Your bioluminescent freckles just seemed to be extenuating your already blindsiding beauty. 

You picked up the pace again, running barefoot through the unstable forest with the na’vi man right at your trail. Ignoring his presence was hard, you'd admit that much to yourself. It was of your free will that you chose to ignore all of his advances and sort of his whole existence at the moment, but pretending like you did not want to run into his arms at the moment was rather hard. 

How could you not? After all Neteyam was perfect, he was the golden son, he was a noble amongst his clan, he had a secure spot as the future olo’eyktan and his family loved him unconditionally. Neteyam was smart, observant and swift with his movements, he was a valuable warrior. More of all, he was kind and he treated you like no other. He was attractive and you were just as sure that many other women thought of the same thing too. He was a man of manners but his own problems just had to ruin the happiness of his own. 

It wasn’t that hard to keep up to you, given his trained legs and impressive stamina. He could overtake you at any moment but now was not the moment to show off his physical abilities. You both ran through the forest for a couple of minutes, touching everything that you could on the short run. 

The Helicoradians had amazed you like nothing else had on the land, and it had soon become your entertainment for a few solid minutes.

Neteyam watched you carefully as though you were a child, not too fond of the stories he had heard of predators lurking behind those retracting plants. He allowed himself to remove his eyes from your figure as he admired the view. In the corner of his eyes, Neteyam had spotted an odd looking flower. 

A Sun Lily. It was strange because amongst the many other sun lilies that were rooted next to that one flower, they were all closed and rounded in shape. A singular flower stood out, its petals wide open and displaying its bloomed form despite the sun having left hours ago. He crouched next to the flower, using his thumb to rub gently against the soft petals of this weird flower. He picked it carefully, breaking the bond between its roots and its stem as he claimed the flower as his now. 

Neteyam turned back around to you, and to his surprise had you calmed down from your Helicoradian frenzy. You were sitting in the middle of the flower field, passing your hand through the delicate strands of grass below you. The grass felt spiky as it nipped at your skin, but you found it strangely comforting. He chuckled at your now downturned amusement before making his way towards you. 

At the sounds of his footsteps dragging through the mid length grass, you looked up only to be met with the sight of the Sully boy already kneeling before you. You quickly looked down at what was in his hand, and to your surprise he brought his hand up towards your face. He waited before to see if you showed any signs of resistance or displeasure, before bringing the flower’s stem behind your ear and tucking it in safely. 

You couldn’t help it. The many emotions that stirred in your stomach at his romantic action. The feeling of his fingers brushing against your skin made your shiver, for it had been so long that you had last felt it. You cursed yourself for the slight indigo colour that raised upon your cheeks, and quickly looked away from the person that had caused it. 

You didn’t want to feel this way towards him anymore. You wanted to truly hate him to the point where you were physically unable to look at him anymore. Thought love was an incredible thing, and you cursed yourself once more for your ability to feel. He was still looking at you with that fond look on his face, a soft glimmer of hope in his eyes at your passive form. 

You looked at him before remembering the conversation that Zuko and you had had a few weeks ago, and now you felt the urge to tell him. Because if you didn’t do it now for the sake of his little sister, there was no way for you to tell if you would still be communicating with him afterwards. 

For the first time in weeks and this night, Neteyam’s heart raced as you spoke to him. He lingered i’m the feeling of your soft lips moving to accentuate your words and he rejoiced in the sound of your voice. Though, what you had to tell him would soon make those feelings falter. 

“I have something to tell you, Neteyam.” 

-

taglist: @uwu-i-purple-you @love13tter @melsunshine @bratsukisworld @jyoungmom @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @fanboyluvr @erenjaegerwifee @ashlatano7567 @laylasbunbunny @gabithefanwriter @alwaysandforever22 @jjkclub @koalalafications @doggyteam2028 @idktbhloley @saltedcoffeescotch @kikookii @a--1--1--3 @anxietydrogz @inluvwithneteyam @gabithefanwriter @arminsgfloll @doulcha @dreamergirljen @parrotpeggy @liyahsocorro @onetwo123three @neteyams-wifee @holysaladapricothero @jdbxws @wheeeelys @akemixmoon @lovedbychoi @neteyamsmate4life @supergalaxysworld

[cherriko-art]

Introducing my Coral Island sibling-duo farmers, Mili and Lu-Ran!

I switched character genders mid-game since I was too busy to start a 2nd save file, so now I headcanon'd that I have sibling farmers that run their farm together!

They're super close despite their large age-gap, and in my headcanon, they lived with their grandmother bc they're on non-speaking terms with their parents, who did not accept them coming out as queer (Mili as gay, Lu-Ran as nonbinary). They later moved from Pokyo to the island to start their own farm!

They each have their very different preferences that conveniently work out for splitting up farm duties.

Lu-Ran is more laid-back and quiet, and doesn't have much physical stamina. They're a big plant lover and nerd, so they take care of most of the plants on the farm, the accounting, and their spare time is spent in the library with Millie, or chilling with Raj or Ben. (I'd like to think of Raj and Lu-Ran as nonbinary besties). Lu-Ran enjoys foraging, fishing (but they suck at it) and diving. In-game, they're the one that has helped cure the sick corals by cleaning up the ocean. They cannot stand any bugs or insects other than butterflies.

Mili is super energetic and friendly, she talks a lot and is always on the move. She's a thicc girl but solidly built, so she's in charge of taking care of the livestock and building any farming structures/machines. She has a lot of courage and a thick skull, which equates to a female himbo. She thinks and lives simply. She loves ore mining and monster hunting and is part of the Band of Smiles. In-game, she's the one who is helping the Giants recover. In her spare time, she plays volleyball with Chaem and Aaliyah, hangs out with Scott in the mines or chills with Alice and Noah (she believes everything they say). The only thing she's capable of cooking is Bug Jerky and Candied Tree Seed.

[ford-pines-lover]

Sweet Dreams ~Chapter 1~

stanford pines x oc

tags: scientist stanford, sfw (suggestive kissing), fluff

word count: 1125

prologue

summary: Celeste and Ford settle into their cozy Gravity Falls home.

Moving in was a struggle. Not only did my parents think I was making a huge mistake, but I realized that keeping focused in the lab while your partner is irresistible is frustrating. Ford will just be writing something in his journal or doing experiments, and I won’t be able to keep my eyes off of him. 

It hasn’t been very long since we have moved in together, just a few weeks, yet there are so many things we have discovered here. Our first day here, we discovered these things we call "eye-bats." They’re exactly what you think they are. Eyeballs flying around with bat wings. I was terrified when I first saw them. Now that I think about it, I think that’s when I starting growing a fondness for the scientist that I’m living with. Not to say I wasn’t fond of him before. 

Going to university with him was fun, but I didn’t see him all the time. I had little flings off and on. Not with him. He was always reserved and standoffish. I could tell he had a lot on his mind, constantly. When he presented me with the idea of researching with him AND he bargained with the “grant money people,” as he called it, just so I could move in with him, I was ecstatic. 

“Celeste, are you doing alright?” 

Ugh. I can’t help my heart racing when I hear his voice. I don’t know what’s come over me. I have known him for years. There is no reason for me to be feeling this way. It’s really not reasonable. I take a deep breath and hope that he cannot see the crimson on my face.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve been staring off into space for the last 10 minutes.” His eyes narrowed, focusing on my face, making sure I was “all there.”

Oh. Yikes. Okay. I hear him clear his throat, signaling him wanting to talk again. He comes closer to me, and I can feel the heat radiating off of me as he gets closer. 

“Sorry if this is off topic and unnecessary, but,” he pauses, “would you want to go out to a diner with me tonight?”

I give him a confused look, “What for? We have food here. And don’t we need to-” I was cut off by him pressing his lips to mine. I pull away, breathless and heart racing. 

“I was trying to ask you out, Celeste.” Ford rubs his thumb against my cheek, his face close to mine. I stand up so he doesn’t have to bend down to my level. Well, I am quite a bit shorter than him anyway, so I guess it doesn’t make too much of a difference. I think he can see that I was too stunned to speak. Ford furrows his brows, “Was—was that okay? I’m sorry. I should have asked if I could do that.” 

I smile at him and kiss him again. He tastes of morning coffee. His left hand finds its way to the small of my back. Ford pulls me closer toward him and I can feel his heart racing as well as mine. We move like we were meant for each other. Like nothing could stop us from being together. It was me and him against the world. 

We pull away and I look at him with love in my eyes. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” 

He chuckles and replies, “Does that mean we are on for dinner tonight?”

“Absolutely, I apologize for not agreeing at first; I just didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“You could never disappoint me.” 

We decided on the diner that was closest to us. It was “Greasy’s Diner,” and it seemed to be only breakfast food. Delicious. I ended up on waffles with strawberries, and Ford got an omelette. It was quiet at this time in the evening. To be fair, it is a small town. There was an ambience that was unmatched in here. Maybe it was just because I was with someone I really liked. I dunno. 

We get back home, and as soon as we close the door, Ford doesn’t hesitate to press me against the door and kiss me. I am filled with bliss and affection as we begin to get more frisky. Hands touching all over. I reach for the hem of his shirt and tug at it; he seems to get the signal, and he takes it off, revealing a slightly muscular man. It was a lovely sight. I ran my hands along his barren chest, taking it all in. I could feel the tips of my ears burning as I saw him smile and kiss my forehead. 

“Stardust, I don’t want to get too... risky tonight if that’s alright with you,” Ford rubs the back of his neck, visibly nervous. Stardust. I feel a chill run up my spine when he calls me that. I hope that becomes a regular thing. Stardust. Just hearing his voice say that over and over in my head makes my heart palpatate. This makes me wonder how long he had been thinking up nicknames for me.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, no, that’s no big deal, love.” I smile, pat his barren chest and walk over to the couch. “Want to at least cuddle and watch some shitty TV?” 

“Of course, darling.”

***

I open my eyes, suddenly feeling a chill. Not a good one. I am in a dark space; I can’t tell where anything is or where I am. All I know is that there is a frigid breeze. Immediately I feel a sudden rush of panic as I hear this maniacal laughter. It’s taunting and haunting. Yet this all sounds familiar. I hear a cryptid voice in a language that I couldn’t understand. 

Zkb glg brx gr lw? 

Then it was gone. 

I was falling. 

***

I wake up, panting and in a cold sweat. I look around the room. Room… I’m not in my room; my heart rate is increasing. I can feel my blood pulsing through my veins. 

Where am I? What is going on? 

Is all that is coursing through my head until I look to the left. There was a man sleeping next to me. 

A man? Man… 

Ford.

I must be okay. I’ll be fine. 

I lay back down for bed as I felt him turn over to me. I froze, worried I had just woken him up. Ford puts an arm around me and snuggles into my neck, getting comfortable. As I relax, understanding he just wanted to get comfortable as well, I hear him whisper to me. I feel I am starting to crash again. 

“You’ll be okay, stardust.” 

Stardust…

[class1akids]

hey! how are you feeling following these last chapters? tbh i just want it to end already 😅 but i have a question for you!! as a huge shouto and todo-fam fan what would be YOUR preferred ending for them?? either as what could happen in a possible chapter for the epilogue or in more general terms what do you want for them and for shouto in special in the future

Not good. I thought I was going to enjoy the epilogue, but tbh, after this last chapter, I can't imagine reading about Eri singing or having another Sport Festival without wanting to throw my laptop across the room.

The Todoroki family is really in a tough spot currently, because I don't really see an straightforward way to satisfy all the different characters' arcs. But for me, it should have the following components:

Touya lives. This is a big one. With Tomura, you could argue that he helped bring down AFO, with Toga you could say that her heart was saved, but where Touya was left off? A death would serve no narrative purpose. Even just with an open ending, there needs to be a hope that he can get better.

Enji delivers on his "I'll watch Touya" promise. He needs to make some kind of sacrifice where he puts his family first over his hero career. What form this will take? Idk.

Shouto and Touya need a moment. That moment of connection where Touya saw Shouto as a child needs to be spoken into existence somehow. I don't expect anything as sweet or idyllic as the Tgchk or Deku-Tenko moments, but I think Shouto deserves an opening from Touya even if it comes as a sarcastic comment about favourite foods. Like something fittingly low-key that gives us a glimpse of how they could eventually down the line build something.

Enji and Rei need to take Shouto off the pedestal and embrace him as a child. Shouto getting the "family hero label" and all the expectations that come with that now needs to stop. All the kids are masterpieces in their own beautiful ways and Shouto should be embraced with the unconditional love he deserves without any pressure of who he needs to be and what he needs to deliver to get it. All the other kids too.

Public fall-out addressed. This is a bit a stress-test on a society level. I think it's a given that the Todoroki family will stand by Touya (in contrast to Toga's parents who quickly disowned her). What will happen with Touya (prison, mental clinic, house arrest, some secret rehab program) is a test to see if anything changed. Also, how the public relates to Shouto who chose to save his villain brother, who is tainted by family scandals is a big question.

In the end, I'm hoping for an open, but somewhat hopeful ending. Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo living in the new house, Touya getting the help he needs with a rehabilitation path, Enji putting him first and Shouto while obviously will keep his family close in his heart, being freed from the "hero role" and can be free to work on his own path and joining his friends.

I don't mind if he forgives Endeavor even - I feel like that's something he may decide for himself just to be rid of the anger, but it's a difficult balance because the past cannot be forgotten. So I definitely don't want the whiplash of a sudden chummy relationship with Endeavor and Shouto being handled as Endeavor's redemption trophy.

I think also a long-overdue hug from Rei and a reason to make Shouto smile genuinely are the only things I'm hoping from the epilogue.

[everywherenothere]

okay, so a couple of days ago i saw on the clock app this video of a jock and a obviously queer man living together and my brain went STEVE AND EDDIE OMG I NEED A FIC OF THIS and i know there is somewhere in the internet but i need to put into words so here it goes:

Robin loves Steve. And Steve loves Robin. They have been attatched to the hip since the mysterious accident that have burned the gigantic new mall and, subsocuently, the ice cream shop where they used to work. They have been living together since before Robin went to a college out of the little town they used to live (we all know Steve's parents were shit and probably being a teenager living alone, Robin's parents practically adopted him) and Steve without anything holding him back followed her.

Now, a couple years later, partners and one-night-stands came and went from their apartment because you cannot convince me those two dont have some kind of rizz. Steve with his bitchy attitude and jock alike body and Robin with her nerdy and charismatic energy have definetly bagged some people. One of them being the now-and-Robin-hope-for-a-very-long-time Robin's new girlfriend who the last two months has been living with them. And for sometime it was good, great even, but feeling like a third wheel most of the time Steve decided to move.

Apartment hunting was hard. Most places were way out of his budget or too small for a human to actually live comfortable and host dinners like he used to do when the now-not-so-kids visited him on the summer. So, he decided to search for a roomate. It was a little bit easier but to find someone who wasnt crazy and actually just mind their bussiness was a full job.

That's how he met Eddie. A nerdy metalhead who can and will up his bitchy attitude with a flirtatious response. And Steve absolutely loves it. At the beggining he tries so hard to convince himself that is just because he reminds him of Robin. That is just because both of them are a little bit smaller than him and nerdy. That is just because of the manerisms and the way they dont even flinch at his sarcastic and mean-girl-type of comments. That is just because both of them talked with passion about what they had been invested in the last couple of days.

But then is also the way Eddie always dress to impress and has a varierity of responses (and even actions) when people call him slurs without even letting those comments affect him.

And the way his eyes glows and do a little dance when he finally got one bridge right on a really difficult song that has been practicing the last couple of weeks.

And the way that he isnt a morning person but still wakes up earlier than Steve to make breakfast because he has learn that Steve bearly takes care of himself without a pressure of someone being dissapointed of him.

And the way both (Steve and Eddie) are on the couch on a Saturday evening watching nothing on the TV when Eddie starts talking his thoughts out. And of course, Steve being Steve cant help but tease him about something he said wrong and then it started: a back and forth of teasing and getting close as trying to prove a point. And when both are a hand away of breathing the same air, Steve realized. And Eddie purposly looked at Steve lips and get just a molecule closer just to see how Steve gets all red and backs down, of course Eddie laughs teasingly and walks to his room for a dictionary, leaving Steve all confused about wtf has happened. But Eddie's laugh continues to live on his ears and oh the way Eddie laughs.

Steve is pretty sure he is fucked up when he realized that he would do anything to make him laugh. And then Steve is also pretty sure that the friendship he has with Robin is one thing and the thing he has (or hope he has) with Eddie is another.

But that is one thought for another time, one existential crisis at the time, please.

[xxhispieceofheavenxx]

And I'll watch || Regulus Black

Summary: When their seventh year comes to an end, Regulus wants nothing more than to live his life with the woman he's loved for years by his side. Fate has different plans for him, despite his wishes.

CW: angst, mentions of suicide (very brief), French!Regulus, depressed!Regulus, a hint of emotional abuse/dependency, just Regulus being very sad about life, sad Black!brothers talk because they are my boys that constantly hurt my heart and they deserve better than they ever got :(

Word count: 2k words

Hello!! I'm back with an angsty Regulus one-shot. I have to say, I'm not really good with angst, but I tried my best, and I think it came out quite well. I might have gotten a bit teary-eyed towards the end. This was requested, so I hope you liked it, anon! Thank you! Let me know what you think and on what wip I should focus on next!!

Request are open

Masterlist

Regulus watches on as a stampede of students moves swiftly through the corridor. Everyone carries a smile, clearly elated that their seventh year has come to an end. He sees people laughing and smiling as they hug their close friends; some look sad at the prospect of leaving the place they have been calling home for the last seven years but excited nonetheless.

He looks through the crowd, searching for her face. She is easy to spot for his watchful eyes. She stands off to the side, hugging one of her roommates, a big smile plastered on her face as her friend's tears wet her school robes. Even if he cannot hear her words, he knows what she is saying, reassuring words leaving her lips as she promises to keep in contact. Regulus waits for her to finish her goodbyes, a small smile on his own lips. He stays on his spot, even as his roommates and friends go over to him to say their goodbyes, exchanging pats on their backs.

She turns around in the sea of people looking for something, or rather someone. As soon as she locks eyes with his, a smile spreads on her face. Regulus returns it, excited at the mere prospect that she was looking for him. He raises his hand in a wave, beckoning her to get closer. She starts pushing through the crowd to get to his side.

A puff of air escapes her lips when she reaches him. "Ready to get out of here?" She smiles and grabs his hand, pulling him away before he can answer.

They make their way through the crowd until they reach the big entrance doors, where fewer people are gathered to say their goodbyes. Despite how easy it is to navigate around the small groups, she doesn't let go of his hand. Regulus smiles as he soothes her skin with his thumb.

Today is the last day of their life as students, a coming of age of sorts. They will no longer have to worry about homework or quidditch matches. It is easy to spot in the air how many mixed feelings there are, some happy, excited, others sad, perhaps even dreadful. Regulus feels invigorated; his life is about to change. It already is changing, and as he looks at the young woman holding his hand, he can feel the nerves rising through his chest and up his throat.

"Can you believe it's over?" Her voice calls out as they thread through the grass, leaving behind the noisy voices.

"It's weird, but yes, I can believe it." She picks up her pace, making both of them go faster, her goal to reach the Black Lake before anyone else.

"It's just… everything is going to be so different." She sighs, a mixture of dreaminess and doubt. "I mean, Pandora is engaged, Barty is ready to work with his dad at the Ministry, Susan is moving abroad… Everything is changing so fast."

"I know, but we knew it was coming."

"Yes. Doesn't make things less difficult, mostly when I don't know what I'm going to do now. My only option is going back to my parents and working at their shop, it seems."

"It's not your only option." His voice is soft as he stops in his tracks, letting go of her hand.

"What? Should we go and travel through Europe? Maybe you'll finally teach me some French." She stops a few steps ahead, turning to face him.

His face is solemn, an earnest look in his eyes. Regulus shakes his head, opening his mouth. No words seem to come out, his throat drying and his stomach flipping with nerves. The looks in his eyes, the hopeful, loving twinkle, must give him away as a knowing look takes over her features.

"No." She shakes her head as she moves backwards, turning to get away from him. "No."

"Please." His steps are quick as he catches up to her, getting in front so she cannot keep moving forwards. "You have to hear me out." His hands gesture to his chest. "I've loved you since the moment I saw you. You have to understand. I've tried to stop, to give you space, but it isn't working."

"No." She looks past him, trying to avoid his face, which has more emotion displayed on it than ever.

"Please. I've done everything. I've tried to let you know many times. But, but you wouldn't let me, which is fine." Her gaze turns to the floor as his voice fills with even more emotion. "Please, I just need you to consider it. Just once, please."

"Stop, please." Her voice is almost inaudible.

"I've done everything. I've worked so hard so you would see me. I've changed so much for you, which is fine, I'm happy I did." His knees start bending, trying to get her to look into his eyes. "And I did everything because… because I figured you'll love me." Her eyes close as if she is feeling pain from his words. "And I know, I know I'm not good enough, and I'll never be this wonderful man of-"

"Yes, you are. Reggie, you're a wonderful guy, too good for me." Her eyes look directly at his, her hand grabbing his arm, bringing him close. "And I wish that I could love you the way you want me to, but I just-. I can't."

"Yes, you can." His voice wobbles as the tears pool in his eyes, threatening to fall. "You can." It's just a whisper.

"I can't change how I feel."

Regulus turns his face, looking towards the floor, avoiding her eyes. His lips parted, ragged breathing as if she had just knocked the air out of him. In a way she has; he has imagined this day, this moment thousands of times and even when she said no in his thoughts, he never felt like this. He never felt the sharp pain in his chest, the way his throat is closing on him, how his tears are almost spilling down his face as the woman he wishes to spend the rest of his life with crushes his dreams.

"I can't do it, Reggie. I'm so sorry." Her voice is a whisper, emotion taking over her as she tightens her grip on his arm. "I'm so, so sorry, Reggie."

He takes a deep breath and steps back, needing to create distance between them. Needing to breathe anything other than the lingering scent of her shampoo on her hair.

"I can't love anyone else. I only love you." His voice is monotone, the words feeling foreign in his mouth.

"Reggie…" His eyes don't meet hers, he can't bring himself to do so. "We'd make a horrible couple. We-"

"No, we wouldn't. It would be-"

"We would be a disaster, Re-"

"We wouldn't be a disaster, we would-"

"I tried! Reggie, I tried and I can't." She raises her voice, making his words die in his throat.

He finally meets her eyes. They shine with intensity and love, just not the love he wishes she felt for him.

"Then why does everyone expect it?" New emotions make his voice louder. "Evan expects it, Barty expects it, Pandora; everyone expects it!" His hand extends to grab hers. "Say yes and let's be happy." Her hand moves out of his reach, she steps closer and grabs his arms.

"I can say yes, truly, so I'm not going to say it." He gets closer to her face, wanting to touch her lip with his but not doing so. "And you'll see that I'm right eventually, and you'll thank me for not saying yes."

Regulus steps away, momentarily looking at her. "I'll be dead before I thank you for it."

"Reggie." She steps closer, trying to grab at him once again.

"I'll kill myself before that happens."

"Reggie, don't say that!" She watches as he walks away. "Reggie." She starts walking, trying to catch up to him. "Reggie! Listen, you'll find someone." She reaches his back, putting her hand there, taking hold of his hand. He swiftly brushes her off. "You'll find a lovely, pure-blood woman, that your parents will approve of. And she will adore you." She keeps her pace with his. "And she will make the perfect wife and mother, and daughter-in-law. She'll be everything I could never be!"

"Yes, you could." He stops and turns to her. "You could."

"Look at me! I'm awkward-"

"I love you."

"And I'm not a pure-blood-"

"I love you."

"I'm weird and you would be ashamed of me,-"

"I love you."

"We would fight constantly, I could never meet your parents' expectations." She reaches closer to him, pointing to her chest. "I'd hate elegant society." She points her finger at his. "You'd hate that I don't fit in. And we would be unhappy, and we would wish that we had never done it and everything would be horrible." She pants as her words die. Regulus' jaw ticks as he looks up from the floor.

His lips wobble.

"Anything else?"

"No, nothing else."

"Alright." His voice is breathy and defeated as he turns away from her once more.

"Except that," He turns back around, nodding to her with his face tight. She pauses, looking around before she meets his eyes again. "I don't believe I was made to be in love." He pushes out a breath. "I'm happy as I am. I love living in my own little world too much to give it up."

"I think you're wrong about that."

"No."

"I think you'll find love. I think you'll find a man that you want to share your world with, and you'll love him with everything in you because that's the way you do things." He pauses. "And I'll watch." A stubborn tear finally runs down his cheek.

Regulus turns around, defeated, and continues to walk away from her. She stays, watching his back get further and further away from her. Both of their happiness stripped away with just a conversation. Her frame falls to the floor with a thud, curling her legs into herself as she cries sour tears.

With quick steps, he marches back into the castle and down the stair to the Slytherin dorm. He gathers his belongings that he packed the night before, when he was still hopeful. Before his life came crashing down, before his dreams of twinkling eyes and beautiful smiles turned into nightmares. Everything is his fault, he knows. She has never owed him anything, and she doesn't now either. She has happily given him her friendship for years; that should be enough for him. But it is not. Nothing that she could ever give him would be enough for him, he realises. Because Regulus knows that she, no matter how hard he tried, would never allow him into her dreams and passions. The knowledge of it doesn't take away the pain.