#I love middle aged toxic yuri

[stphelss]

Wips I feel crazy

[passthroughtime]

kuwagami sunday (in theory)

tags: @jichanxo, @four-white-trees, @overdevelopedglasses

wrote 3k words during this week. the chapter is nowhere near done. i hate writing longfics.

Maybe, Kuwana made it easier to embrace all sides of him. Or perhaps, it just was all about Kuwana, and nothing more. Maybe, Kuwana was an exception to his every rule, and Yagami would never meet someone like him again and would never love anyone like this again. Although, all this didn’t matter now. Why would he need someone else like Kuwana if Kuwana himself was kissing his neck right here and right now?

There was something sad, hot and wondrous about irreplaceability. Like it always was with Kuwana, nothing could have been easily confined to a single emotion… and Yagami was enjoying all the complications this had been bringing.

[milfbaud]

rimlaine yuri

[arolesbianism]

The difference between how I enjoy Olivia and how I enjoy Jackie is that I like to imagine Olivia dying in deep and symbolic ways that leave a deep scar on the people around her that will still manage to die out before her death can reach its climax and I like to imagine Jackie being hit by a car and exploding

[mallowmaenad]

baedel flow

this shit ain't nothin to me girl

i'm taking DIY alstolfo brand temu titty skittles. I got so much prog up my ass my dildo has erectile dysfunction. I'm injecting estrogen straight into my face so I can force fem the cop in my brain.

I'm problematic. I ship things you can't imagine. The judge read my Archive Of Our Own bookmarks out loud and the jury were too busy throwing up to give me a guilty verdict.

I smoke shit so dank it'll age regress you into a fucking sperm.

I'm on that greymarket back alley bimbo goo. I'm doing deviantart shit to my body just to look myself in the mirror when I shave in the morning.

Your sister LOVES my milk duds. You never had a brother, she calls me mommy with a 2 year age difference.

I'm putting lead and estrogen in my haters' cereal so I can make some toxic yuri, get them moaning in their boyvoices 6 months later behind the Warhammer store like I'm fucking Slaanesh.

They/them me again and I'll run a used Manscaped Lawnmower across your face until you look like a fucking newborn

I show up to Planned Parenthood just to stand there and watch the abortions, licking my lips between sips of Strawberry Dreams mixed with pure thailander gamer girl sweat.

When I'm done with you you'll never want to go to the pool shirtless again bitch

I'm on those quadruple puppygirlboygirl anarchist homebrew estrogen patches, taking so much spiro that Big Pharma is wiping down fire hydrants in my area to make Premarin with the residue.

The only thing Harkness is testing is my fucking patience and I'm about to turn him into another one of my little sisters

I'm smoking that bocchi the rock giving myself middle school anxiety so intense it erases my male socialization

They wanted to write a callout post about me so I fucked their moms, and their dogs and the playstation 5 just for good measure, now if they don't call me auntie they're grounded from role playing My Hero Academia characters on discord for 2 weeks.

You wish I'd make you my bitch. By the time you re-align your pronouns you'll be bottoming for a fucking stuffed shark posting about your Amazon Basics skirt on reddit

They call me the egg cracker because I bust so many fucking balls

I radiate so much AGP my nickname at the local pride center is elephant's foot. I give Kaitlyn Jenner so much gender envy it's got her considering voting blue in the next election.

Yeah I'm on E, what the fuck else am I gonna trip on when I drive to the pharmacy blasting SewerSlvt so loud youtube is recommending video essays to every single person in the tri state area.

Christine Chandler wishes she was me. Contrapoints wishes she was me. Aphrodite desires me carnally. They can't handle the divine feminine energy radiating from my unwashed hen cause they gotta go through the Hero's Journey just to get a face full of baby butter that tastes like expired anchovies.

Tonight girl my chosen name is Bridget because I'm going to go to town inside you. Your hole's gonna be more ruined than Thanksgiving dinner when I show up in a slutty little number watching my cousin the same age as me lose another inch of his hairline.

I'm sucking on that neocities watamote siscon shadow siren hard candy getting affected like a male feminist just heard me say the word bitch a little too loud for his liking. My Celeste speedruns have never been faster.

Fuck around and find out keep talking shit and my final fantasy 14 plugins won't be the only thing I'll be reprogramming tonight

[cuhdasdf]

FemHaru is so gnc I'm so proud

oh please I love middle-aged women semitoxic yuri as much as middle-aged men toxic yaoi

[ccrisalright]

YAY!!! NEW COOL KG ACCOUNT TO FOLLOW!!!!

Anywayyyy could you possibly draw some Lovegate (Ms. Lovelett x Ms. Applegate)? I'm so in love with that ship rn

YOOO hi poisionblossoms12!!! nice to see you in my ask box (even if it was... a while ago... hahah...) ! and thank you for the compliment :'')

i like this ship. a lot. middle-aged (probably toxic if Lovelett turns out to be a villain) yuri <3. i could entirely see Ms. Applegate having another romantic side plot since her last man may or may not be in a bodybag rn...!

[trashhole]

Getting back into my omniscient reader viewpoint brainrot and realizing how similar joongdok and starbee are like…I certainly have a ship type I guess. I think starscream would totally toss bee into a serpent mouth if he thought bee was going to oppose him back in rid. Hardcore enemies to lovers is so fun to me like how’d you go from trying to murder this dude to deciding he’s worth losing everything for???? I also really like that bee and dokja read yjh/starscream so well and call them out on their self destructive behavior while everyone else is like “what a power hungry asshole”

Anyway I don’t think anyone in the world knows what I’m on about considering orv and tf are like…completely different media but I had to get it out. I love enemies to lovers toxic middle aged man yuri where the stakes are “if you fail your planet gets destroyed and your species will be obliterated” and also there’s lesbians who kick ass but never actually get together because the plot said so…oh yeah and kdj and bee dying/being dead for half the plot, constant fighting, yjh and star being thirsted over, good ass art, yeah it’s no wonder I’ve liked these two ships for so long 😭

Dkos bumblebee would rock my shit though and regular starscream vs a 999yjh starscream would be such a fun concept like imagining bee being like wow this guy is such a gentleman! And starscream is just glaring daggers at this refined version of him bee is all over…god my head is spinning fr rn. It would’ve extra fun because starscream has a need to be the best yjh doesn’t have so he’d be trying so hard to one up 999 starscream 😭

[makersbreathchild]

some dragon age canon x canon ships i wanna see for femslash feb. nothing veilguard bc the only thing i wanna see in that regard is BELLARA/NEVE

isabela/morrigan. do you guys see the vision? the freshly realized morrigan faces her greatest (gayest) challenge yet, the queen of the eastern seas. bonus points if morrigan was in love with fem!warden and they up and die bc they didn’t want morrigan having sex with alistair. bonus BONUS points for an isabela who slept with hawke and is kind of in-love with hawke but is the one who told them ‘love isn’t for me sorry bae kisses tho’ and hawke got with someone else.

leliana/morrigan. the original. HOWEVER, very specifically post dao leli-morgy. inqusition times are the juicy, ESPECIALLY with milf morrigan so throw kirean into there. a more confident in her sexuality morrigan boldy flirting with leliana (hardened. who is annoyed and aroused by morrigan’s irritating way of insult flirting) this is best complimented by maybe some sort of past they had together during the blight where leliana was the more active force between them and now morrigan is active in pursuing and leliana is passive bc she’s Going Through Stuff rn (crisis of faith and having her ex-situation back in her life who slept with her friend and had a BABY)

isabela/aveline but cut the middle man of aveline being like you whore anytime isabela flirts with her. i want them in an active friends-with-benefits situation that’s toxic because they both refuse to recognize the effect and feelings they have on one another. hate-fucking in the mud. 20k words. end with aveline on her knees for isabela (sexually?? not sexually?) have an epilogue of post veilguard isaline where aveline visits isabela in rivain woth her short hair and they have a sappy reunion then bang. you get to see all the delicious growth they’ve had as people and with each other.

leliana/cassandra to paraphrase someone else ‘what if the left and right hands of the divine clasped’ hardened leli because i refuse any other characterization. disillusioned lesbian is so tragic and True for leliana i’m afraid. at the start of inqusition leliana and cassandra are both at different points of their faith and i think them clashing (and kissing) about it would be a fun read. i also think some sort of bard!leliana au where they’re younger and stupider would hit as well. a manipulative leliana and easily manipulated cassandra. toxic yuri anyone?

merrill/josephine. i have a vision that i don’t fully comprehend yet. i don’t think anyone can. it’s too big brained. something something a very blunt and curious visiting eluvian expert merrill comes in contact with the ambassador. josephine set up her visiting skyhold and lowkey flirted with merrill in her letters to persuade her to come. merrill gets there and is very direct in her affection but a slightly clueless josie doesn’t realize. shenanigan and surprisingly kinky (i know what you are merrill) sex ensues.

all in all more sex. more rarepairs. more hardened leliana. MOREEEE

[madmaxified]

letting myself cook and sharing my dead boy detectives swap au on here ‼️

( also i wanna note that if an adult and teen swap so do their ages, so some characters are aged down and some are aged up )

the night nurse ( or charlie as i have graciously renamed her in reference to what charles said in the finale ) takes edwin's place, still dies in the 1920’s but however, instead of dying at the boarding school, she dies in a ‘I hate women look i have a spell book boom demonic sacrifice’ style hate crime and that’s how she ends up in hell ( it’s giving rosalie from twilight’s death ) she’s still a bookish, nerdy little shut in, but there’s less of edwin’s sass and more of her being so blunt and straight to the point that she often comes off as quite rude

jenny takes charles’s place, she dies in the late 1980’s early 1990’s but instead of getting attacked by classmates her abusive, alcoholic father almost beats her to death and then she wanders out into the night in the middle of winter and dies of extreme hypothermia. she’s a lot more upbeat and outgoing than canon jenny is but is still giving jade west vibes. when it comes to her trauma and how she died, she’s alot more cagey about it and gets angry and just flat out mean any time someone brings it up so charlie always avoided talking about it. she’s a gay little fella and is one hundred percent fully aware of and comfortable with that fact.

charlie is still absolutely and one hundred percent in love with jenny but has a really hard time understanding feelings and so she’s not really sure what she feels most of time. jenny is utterly devoted to and in love with charlie but never knows when to tell her

esther is swapped with crystal comes from a long line of witches and has inherited those magical abilities and ability to see everything supernatural, but she’s lost her memories due to a sketchy deal with a demon she made in order to get out of some ‘trouble’ ( she killed her cheating boyfriend and his lover and wanted it covered up ) her and jenny make out a lot and it’s very messy and filled with way too many feelings and they’re not super good for eachother and it only makes charlie hate esther more. she’s a lot most mischievous than crystal is and legitimately believes lying, scheming and violence is the solution to every problem the agency encounters, she eventually leans tho because character development!

monty is swapped with niko and is the scooby doo obsessed nerd that lives across the hall from esther. he’s just as sweet as he is in canon and is the girl’s emotional support, grounded in reality member who’s job is essentially to make sure nobodies emotions get so incredibly out of whack no one can do their job

crystal and niko are a witch / physic medium and her cat familiar who was once a human girl. niko’s relationship with charlie is not romantic at all and instead niko and crystal have an insane toxic yuri arc going on. once they were both human and in love and happy but after lillith granted crystal eternal life niko realized she needed a way to be with her forever. crystal promised they could be together if niko let her ‘change’ her and then she made her gf into an immortal cat who she kinda emotionally manipulates ( toxic yuri save me save me toxic yuri )

edwin is esther and monty’s landlord, instead of running a butcher shop he runs a small independent bookstore and is still struggling to figure himself out. he’s less mean than jenny is initially, except to crystal he’s very mean to her, but is still very overprotective of his tenants

charles is the night nurse, overworked, underpaid and stuck in a job he doesn’t want, he’s just working towards retirement, and if he can catch those slippery dead girl detectives that might just been the case that fills out his retirement requirements. he’s just as fed up, if not more, than the night nurse is in canon

maxine is the cat queen, and on top of flirting with charlie and giving the poor girl a horrible sexuality crisis, she’s also flirting and teasing jenny every time the two get close, something jenny does not appreciate at all. her connection to crystal is through niko because since she’s a cat most of the time she’s technically one of maxine’s subjects so she’s always looking out for her

thomas ( the cat king ) is the pet shop manager with big heart eyes for edwin, who after being set up on a date with edwin by monty, reveals that he’s actually a creepy weirdo and then he dies ( everyone cheered )

bonus : when charlie confesses to jenny on the stairway to hell jenny confesses back and they share a kiss before escaping hell forever

( bonus two : this is only one of two swap aus I have for this show mwa ha ha )

[that-weird-kid-from-your-school]

Debating.......

Mur (they/them) is a Vulcan Medical Officer.

Shressa Zh'rothon (she/her) is an Andorian Medical Officer.

Mur, a younger cousin of Captain Satok, and was offered to work with him after graduation. They agreed, despite never wanting to see anyone from their family ever again. They don't know why they chose to work with Satok, or why they hate their family so. To be quite honest, Mur doesn't even know why they chose to be a doctor. They're good at it, but they feel no passion behind it. No want to save others.

Mur sometimes wishes they could kill as easily as they can help.

Shressa, on the other hand, adores saving people's lives.

She loves to feel wanted, needed. She loves to feel useful.

Raised by her vain and materialistic mother, Shressa was taught to be gorgeous, above all else.

Despite needing glasses from a young age, her mother never allowed her to wear them, and Shressa grew used to not needing them. She's only started wearing them recently, after her lack of proper eyewear nearly killed a patient and was forced to wear them by the rest of the crew.

Shressa's mother went missing after her only child's graduation. Her body was never found and Shressa spent a month after her death frantically refusing to accept her only relative was gone.

Mur is seen as gruff and cruel, vaguely creepy, by the rest of the crew.

Shressa is seen as too preoccupied with her looks and high-strung, slightly paranoid, by the rest of the crew.

AAAAAAAGRGH YEAH THAT'S ALL I HAVE?? IDK UGHH

PLEASEEE HELP MEEE

[morningmask27]

Berryheart X Curlfeather. I love middle aged toxic yuri <33

Pebblepaw(skip, if they get a full name), the most victimised kid in the clans;

Berryheart and Curlfeather were Not seeing each other for relationship reasons, they were both AGAINST the code changes. Berry and Curl were both mothers already, Curl having kits for the political stuff they were up to, both had mates, both were loyal to their clan, but seeing each other a few too many times made them kinda like each other.

Curlfeather took it slightly better than Berryheart, who REFUSED to admit to any feelings and they just kept plotting together but Berry became massively more unstable and hostile. There were still feelings tho and Curl was always able to push Berry's buttons in ways to make Berry not dangerous to her.

Somehow, eventually, Curlfeather was expecting. Jayclaw's death was a bit too long ago, but she pretended the kit was also Jay's. Frost and co were happy to have a little sibling at first, :D and everyone was a bit emotional to have a postmortem kit of Jay (now Mothwing and Splashtail were both a bit suspish of how late After Jay's death Pebble was born)

Now this happened right in the time between Mistystar's death and Curlfeather's death. and curlfeather still dies in this...

Pebble is tops 3 moons then and it's very painful when they see what's left of their mom.

then ShadowClan shows up in RiverClan. One day Cloverfoot takes a bit closer a look at this small child and sees some similarities to her and her sister and talks to Pebblekit. Now most of RiverClan wasn't very happy with Cloverfoot talking to the kit of RiverClan, but she promised she wouldn't hurt Pebble. She didn't get much info out of them, but their behavior made them think of Berryheart, so she went to speak with her sister and asked Berry about possible interactions with Curlfeather.

Berry snaps immediately and began a long and LOUD tirade against her own sister about how dare she blame her of breaking the code and having a kit with a cat from another clan. It's long and Berry pulls so many guilt trips, drags Buster into it and blames Clover of doing that herself and trying to put the blame on her and it sounds like fucking verbal abuse and cats who heard the screaming were worried.

Sunbeam heard it. She went to check on her mother and heard Berry and Clover "talk" about the kit. Next time she was on duty in RiverClan she went to see if she could interact with the child and uh... yeah... yeah, those white spots were a bit dubious...

this ends up with Sunbeam speaking to Frostpaw once and learning about Jayclaw and other stuff and Sun does some math and sees it's technically not possible and she goes to talk to Berryheart and gets eviscerated for also suggesting Berry, her own mother, had kits with a cat from another clan. She still ahs her stint with Night and leaves to Thunder and then Night goes on his silly adventure with Frost lol.

Now Splashtail is still plotting, and Frost dipped from the healer position and tries to get Moth to take Pebble as an apprentice a bit early and after Berry does some Annoyances he was leveraging her secret kit to make her cooperate. In the end it's Pebblepaw not listening well enough that made Splashtail do a public callout and openly tell everyone Pebble was fucking halfclan and Berryheart as a codebreaker.

at a gathering.

The same gathering Splash openly became leader of RiverClan, the same gathering Berryheart tried to remove Tigerstar from the leadership position, and thus the one Frostpaw saw. Frostpaw and Pebblepaw learned about that parentage issue at the same time and it was BAD.

the rest of ASC is still up in the air, but I assmue Pebblepaw leaves RC too, Frost and Pebble are in an awkward position, but Sunbeam tries to be a good older sister and at least help Pebble and by extention Frostpaw, who is also Nightheart's friend, so obviously.

[burstfoot]

SARIA BLAST

List for reference:

Saria x Gladiia x Kal'tsit (you can break this up into its constituent ships)

Saria x Penance

Saria x Whislash

Saria x Ho'olheyak

First up is Saria and some women older than her.

Sariia (Saria x Gladiia):

I like the idea of an intelligent, strong, hypercompetent, silver-haired, nigh-indestructible woman falling for an even more intelligent, hypercompetent, silver-haired, nigh-indestructible woman. Also they’re both over six feet tall, there is no way they’re both under six feet according the the game. You’ve also got that sweet Land x Sea dynamic going on.

I think it would start as months or years of them staring at each other intensely at formal events until one of them cracks.

You can also put some Saria x Kal'tsit in there for some Calcium x Calcite action. Also the smartest silver-haired polycule on Terra.

And of course, I’m assuming that Gladiia/Kal'tsit is happening at all times.

Anyways, more Saria ships:

Saria x Penance. Two women in positions of moderate power, in roles designed to protect people, kept from that role by the meddling of other forces which has gone ignored by those supposed to provide oversight. Also middle-aged woman yuri. (Saria is canonically 34, but I refuse to believe she is younger than 40. Well, Kristen is canonically 34 and they went to college together.)

Also, because Kristen isn’t confirmed dead, Penance could advise her on the divorce. Apparently Saria only needs to make it public knowledge and have a reasonable chance of Kristen seeing it, according to a quick search on divorcing absent, living partners.

Oh yeah, throw Kristen x Saria in there, but we know that’s pretty much canon.

Next is Zoria (Whislash x Saria). This one started out as a typo when trying to type Zofia. They’re both women who had days they look upon with fondness, now torn from them, with no way to go back. Also Zofia is single and Saria is… newly single. I haven’t read much regarding the Nearls. This ship is my least thought out.

Finally: Saria x Ho'olheyak. This one started when I saw the CG of Ho'olheyak grinning widely as Saria pinned her to the wall by the throat (same), but there’s actually something there.

If you interpret Saria as a woman haunted by her past (like in DramaticGaze’s “A Dance”), Ho'olheyak could either provide a strange comfort as a woman who has quite literally had her future torn from her for the sake of the past or they could end up in manipulative toxic yuri. AND it’s middle-aged woman yuri!

Saria/Gladiia: Sorry, don't see it. They're kinda similar, but from such different worlds and not in a way that interests me like Susie/Gladiia... and the thing about Land/Sea applies to Gladiia and 90% of the cast. Saria/Kal'tsit: Didn't really get sparks between the two of them when they talked in the manwha. Similar missions, but live in entirely different worlds, can't see it. Saria/Penance: In terms of crack ships I am more interested in this one, I think there's a bit more chemistry there but I'd need to see like, a story around it to be convinced.

But I do have to say (and no hate when I say this): Penance is not middle aged, it's never been confirmed she's middle aged, and I know saying 'she doesn't look middle aged' in a gacha game means nothing, but she doesn't! I don't think her age is elaborated on anywhere, but she's treated as the new generation in Siracusa alongside Vigil (who is like early 20s at most), so I don't know where this idea of her being in her 40s came from. Realistically, I think she's around early to mid-30s (has spent 10 years as a judge after school) but I wouldn't be surprised if we learn that she's like, 28

Kristen x Saria: Wrote a fic about it, it's the core of Lone Trail and the Manwha, it's absolutely heartbreaking, I love them. Whislash x Saria: Self-admittedly not much here. They were meant to co-star in a sportswear skin line together though

Ho'olheyak x Saria: Oh Saria had one really unfortunate night shwants to forget about while still trying to move on from Kristen on the landship after Lone Trail and Ho'olheyak won't let her forget. Love it

[estbela]

I've always lamented the small female cast in hetalia so the idea of Nyo!Ro is really intriguing to me! Do you suppose you can share some headcanons about her?

I am glad you asked I love her so much eudfhsjshebsb

Honestly, I don't make her much different than (my probably canon divergent portrayal of) hws Romania but there are differences, of course.

I would see her as slightly more serious than her male counterpart, honestly. She's still just as silly and weird and whimsical, though.

I feel like she'd be considered in some ways "one of the guys" tbh.

I do see her as slightly more tomboyish/boyish than Ro is actually.

She probably pretended to be a guy a lot since it was like. Easier to do whatever you wanted as a guy in the past. And also tbh she likes wearing clothes that in the past were worn mostly by men

So much genderfuckery going on with both Ro & Nyo Ro tbh

Her & Hungary are toxic yuri (don't have many thoughts on them tho)

Take me to war is one of the songs that really reminds me of her. Also Tongues & Teeth is so her (tbh I have a whole playlist for her & hws ro lol)

Her human name (in present times since in my HC nations have different human names over the years) is Ilinca Ioana Păduraru (Păduraru is her surname). I don't think she has a strong preference for her first name or middle name(maybe she did in the past tho), call her whatever

Perhaps at one point she was probably named something like "Maria". Maybe sometime in the middle ages. Idk it's a very popular name and I think it was pretty popular back then too, being a religious name.

Appearance wise, very similar to Ro but maybe shorter. I think her hair is of similar length to his, but I do think she probs regularily changes it up and has worn it at different lengths in the past

Idk thats it for now!

Thanks for the ask!!!! :]

Talking about her made me really happy!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

[arolesbianism]

I think Jackie should be put in a time loop of the month before the earth explodes. I just wanna see what she does. I don't even want it in a "I want her to introspect" sort of way I just want to see her spiral. How long could she manage before she stopped trying to fix it in the same brute force manner she always has gone at her problems with. Would she even stop? Would she even see this as a curse? Would she ever stop for a second to regret? Or would she go in already having regrets?

[shredsandpatches]

High five beanpole Faustus right back, soo cool to find another Faustus blog! I did this fanart a couple days ago but these are my character designs for them, and my personal interpretation is that ((at least the original Marlowe text im familiar with?)) would have so much more nuance and couldve been that much more dynamic if they were genderbent/toxic yuri https://little-candy-store-of-horrors.tumblr.com/post/756456418373222400/whatever-devils-inside-you-dont-let-him-out

I have only ever written them as toxic yaoi but I support the toxic yuri version! Especially since I would love to play Faustus--either of them, really, but I did get to play Mephistopheles in a public readthrough at least. Plus as I am now a middle-aged academic fr I absolutely get Faustus.

Also I love your designs, will go reblog now 🤩