#I love how they are 10 years into their careers but still constantly trying new things and showing artistic growth

[lilidawnonthemoon]

10/10 🌅🌆

[joesalw]

You really can't write this shit lmao...

TS's friend group consists of Miss 'idc about genocide and continue to employ a bloodthirsty zionist CEO for my makeup brand' and Cara D who's great grandfather created the Black and Tans which is a terrorist organisation that killed Irish people during the Irish War of Independence. A group that also sent their people to kill Palestinians in favor of establishing the state of Israel. Last night these 3 went to Ramy Youssef's (who Taylor probably met at the "Poor Things" premiere) comedy show in NYC and 100% of the proceeds would go to the Gaza relief fund. The thing is, Selena and Taylor are getting all the credit and praise for Ramy's activism. I've been a fan of her work for the past 10 years and her recent activities have turned me off of her completely. The turning point was that pathetic TIME interview.

I've always thought of her as this well-read individual who can masterfully express herself whether it would be public speaking or writing but I couldn't help but cringe while reading that article. She tries too hard to appeal to gen z and younger millennial crowd when she herself is practically pushing 40 atp. I feel like all of her 'intelligence' came from being around Joe Alwyn who's a notorious bookworm. The fact that she describes her Rep era as 'goth-punk' was the first strike, the 2016 hate train as a ' career death' was the 2nd and the whole patriarchy delusion she went into just hit the final nail in the coffin and I was like 'nope, not doing this shit anymore'.

I know that swifties have been comparing her to Beyonce lately saying things like 'well, Taylor writes her songs' or 'Beyonce can't read' and talking about how she doesn't give interviews so people don't know that she's dumb. And as a comparison I've found her Harper's Bazaar interview that she gave when she turned 40. And good God, I've slept on this woman for way too long. In the interview she talks about building her work ethic from an early age. The dedication of her life's decades (First decade was dedicated to dreaming, the teens were about the grind, the 20s were about building a strong foundation for her career and establishing her legacy, the 30s were about starting her family and prioritizing her own life over her career). She started her own management company at 27, in 2013 she started her charity foundation in which she helps hurricane relief, education, supporting minorities businesses, families with housing needs, water crises, pediatric health care and pandemic relief. She talks about expanding her business ventures beyond music industry, talks about setting boundaries in the world of celebrity culture, about her friends being a group of strong independent women, about the importance of mental health. She also says that she's most inspired by her parents ("My mother has always been my Queen and still is. She has always been so strong and is filled with humanity", "No matter how tired she was, she was always professional, loving, and nurturing."; "My father constantly encouraged me to write my own songs and create my own vision. He is the reason I wrote and produced at such a young age."). That woman is so well-spoken and genuine you can't help but feel warm while reading it and she doesn't feel the need of throwing unnecessary 'smart people' words to seem that way.

Reading Taylor's "Person of the Year" profile and Beyonce's 'Entering 40s' interview were completely different experiences. And as a result, one of them lost a fan and the other gained one. I wish Tree Paine would stop Taylor from giving these interviews because everytime she does, she comes across as tone-deaf, out of touch, mentally stuck overgrown teenager, try-hard bratty diva who can't stand being not the only one praised.

Anyway, I'd recommend to read the full interview and watching her new film. I've watched it yesterday and got the urge of turning my life around. That lady is truly such a light.

Taylor's friend list also includes 'Mr. and Mrs. plantation with slave cabins on the property wedding', 'a sex offender and a SA apologist as the newest addition', 'Ms. "I assaulted my own sister", ' an insecure and whiny music producer who likes to stir drama on Taylor's behalf'. And not to mention that she's dated a nazi this year and her newest flavour of the month is a fatphobic jock with a double digit iq, her father is also an avid republican voter. I think the people she surrounds herself with tell about her more than she does herself.

And concluding with two cents about Joe Alwyn. I'm glad she's out of his life. While I was a swiftie I've watched his interviews and he always came across as a very gentle, calm, well-spoken and a bit introverted man. And she's... well, her. I also think that she'd held him back in her job in regards of producers and directors not wanting their work to be overshadowed by 'Taylor's BF is in this' articles. I'm hoping he does more projects in the future or maybe dips his toes in writing and directing something because clearly he's a talented writer.

Sorry for the long rant, had to get it out of my system <3

I love reading your rants, keep it coming. they are so on point.

[niyalationz]

what in the mother FAWK was bad blood 😭😭

Ok #rant ahead sorru guysies..

(Assuming kayfabe here guys ok ? Ok!)

Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf. Wtf. Wtaf.

1. even if i dont like liv, it's like theyr purposely trying to make her look weak. her whole reign has been about running away and cheating; idgaf if shes a heel. She still needs to PROVE she deserves the title.

2. i hate how this entire feud is all about dominik. Like doesnt rhea have a new man ?? Gtfo.. and the announcers constantly pushing this narrative that rhea still loves him the ENTIRE match was genuinely so annoying like stfu stfd and do ur job ho 😭😭

3. as a huuuuggee rhea fan, i wouldn't of even cared if liv won the match. Because there was nobody to get involved and cost rhea to lose, she was guaranteed to win in a way that would show everyone she can hold her own against anyone and deserves to have that title. She managed perfectly fine without TJD on her side before, so why can't she now?

4. o ya, raquel def fucked the match up. She came in to early, caused the DQ, and still tried to save it. Also, it was so anticlimactic how she came in. She should of had her theme song playing and she should of came out AFTER rhea was hitting dom.

5. this match was so obviously scripted it hurt like wtafff. I know i said 'assuming kayfabe' up there but cmon now. I will NEVER understand why rhea didnt just pin liv right then and there and maybe beat up dominik after. Even if raquel came out after she had pinned liv and beat her up, Rhea would still have the title and at the end of the day that's all that matters.

6. can we pls talk abt jhea? the writers started this like a year ago and are just now adding onto it bcz of the betrayal , but they've already ruined it before it even started. zero interactions two shows in a row (which i do understand the first one,, i wouldnt want my son to watch me wrestling + flirting with another woman that isnt his mother), but BFFR. Not even a behind the scenes of them talking? All we've gotten is them posting stories of one another. Come AWN neow HHH !☠️

7. okay so now were breaking up the terror twins. 💀 idk if triple H is trying to make Liv look weak or just ruin rhea's entire career. these bookings and plot line is ass and they did this w sasha banks tew. Look where she at now 🤷🏽‍♀️ anywayyy,, i dont get WHY they would break them up either. It also sort of ruins damians character and their bond w eachother that wwe has built up for years + the irl bond they have. Damian has sacrificed his own body to protect her, and now he got one win and all of a sudden he needs to go solo and leave a broken up rhea behind? NAW. He would not dew that. If u told last week Damian abt ts he'd slap u silly and knock the mario coins outta u.

8. i lowk stopped watching after that roman and cody match bcz i didnt care to see the rest so idk what all happened after that, so spare me guyss...

9. honestly,, jimmy coming back made me happy as a mf. Holdon let me show yall

10. Do i gaf thats not they names.. nooo not rlly lol haha anwyays

11. am i happy that my baby daddy roman won? Hell ya!

12. am i even happier that he came back for cody? HELLLLL YEEEEAHHHHHHH

13. am i confused at the rock comin back and not saying shit? ..yes

14. but anyways thats js my take on the situation. Maybe it's tew much yapping and not alot of sense behind these words, maybe it's just me seeing the drew vs punk first and expecting SO much more. I was expecting like rhea 2 go dummy crazy on Liv likkke. I wanted to see Rhea 'the bloody eradicator' ripley beatin ho's ass! But anyways i guess not 😭😭

15. i guess this isnt the end of the feud? Idk.. adding raquel into beef that should of just been rhea vs liv was a dumb ass move idc !

16. bye yall 😛

[nabaath-areng]

The weirdest part about FFXIV for me now is that for years I considered myself a newbie. I was always around people who had played longer than me, both legacy and not, and with it also being my first ever MMO they all seemed so experienced to me.

... And here I am now, forgetting that I am in a sense closer to all those players I looked up to back then. Year after year I've seen fewer and fewer legacy mounts and titles, and as time goes by I am more and more shocked by how many I interact with who describe Shadowbringers as "the old days". And not only that, I realize then that 5 years IS a long time, and that all the things I keep thinking of as new and flashy (Gpose, job gauges etc) have been in the game longer than they have not.

Mind you, I became psychotic less than a year into my FFXIV career, and then I spent nearly a decade after that trying to heal from both that as well as the paranoia it left me with, so in a sense the years 2015-2022 might as well not have happened in terms of me remembering them in a way that matters. My vague measure of time between 2014 to 2019 in particular is only possible because I memorized FFXIV patches, since the game was practically the only thing keeping me both sane and alive. I cannot tell you what I did IRL in November 2015, but I can tell you what I did during patch 3.1.

And I guess that's why it all feels so mindfucky to me? It's not like I can look back at my years in FFXIV like normal memories, so realizing that 10 years have passed in what to me felt like the blink of an eye, and then having to reconcile with my self perception and reality not quite adding up... it just makes it feel so weird? It kinda feels like waking up from a time bubble, where everyone else has lived normally and you have to adapt super fast to keep up with the changes you barely have time to process.

In a strange sense, many of the people I knew and loved at the time feel like fuzzy figures to me. Some of them I cannot even recall the names of, and some I remember nothing except for their names. I know they were real, because I have screenshots of us playing the game together... but it still feels very little like they're my own memories. It's not like amnesia, but I don't know how to describe it.

They're kind of like the Warrior's of Light who vanished during the Calamity as described in ARR. I know these people were there, and I know that they saved me when everything seemed hopeless... and yet when I try to recall their faces, all I see is light behind silouettes. When I try to say their names, they disappear on my tongue.

And it feels so shitty, because why wouldn't I remember people who were super close to me? But that was the nasty thing with being psychotic, I was so caught up with being constantly in terror, and being unable to determine what was real or not, that even the good things aren't more than vague flickers of light amidst the hopeless darkness I was in. I can barely claim to be the same person, because those years stole "me" for lack of a better way of putting it.

I feel like I came out of that situation a completely different person, someone who is ultimately more "real"... but that makes me question whether the people I held dear actually knew me. They knew a broken down person bearing my name, but I don't recognize that person at all. It was practically a stranger behind the wheel veering off the road over and over again and causing more damage to the vehicle itself.

And it sounds so stupid, I know, but FFXIV sincerely was my sole lifeline. It was the only normal thing... and yet it didn't shield me from the repercussions of losing my sense of self, as is evident in hindsight now that I'm out of the abyss that was my abode for years. It's like I fell asleep at 19 and woke up at 24, and suddenly I had to recalibrate the way I viewed myself and the way I no longer felt like I belonged with other people my age. And then another couple years were spent catching up and trying to "age" myself accordingly. All while fighting to rid myself of the paranoia and delusions that still had me in a chokehold.

And here I am now, running around in FFXIV, free from my delusions and my paranoia once and for all... all while still looking for the people that were around me when I had just started playing, and trying to process that the one safe place I had was just as fleeting as everything else in my life after all.

I should have known that, it's an obvious thing when spelling it out like such. But it shows me that despite having come this far, there's still a lot of work for me to do, and a lot of grief to come to terms with about everything I lost. Things that one may take for granted, that can never be reclaimed once it's gone.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 10 Looney Tunes Characters

This year is truly an auspicious one indeed. It marks the centenary of not one, but TWO of the greatest film and animation studios that have ever been. One of them, as many are doubtless aware by now, is Disney, and I do have some things planned for later this year to celebrate that. However, another studio that’s been getting less attention than I think it deserves for its own 100th Anniversary is Warner Bros.! WB started the same year as the Disney studio, and they’re still going strong. When one thinks of WB Animation, chances are good the first characters and cartoons that come to mind are the Looney Tunes. These cartoon classics were a staple of theatrical animation from the 1930s all the way into the early 1960s…and since those days, the characters have continued to pop up in all sorts of places. Movies, TV shows, video games, comics…you name it, the Looney Tunes have been there. These toons are some of the most recognizable characters in the history of animation, more than on par with Mickey Mouse and his allies, and I’ve always loved them. So, I decided it was time to pay them proper tribute! With that said, what better way than to talk about some of my personal favorites? That’s what we’re here to do today. So let’s waste no more time! Mind you don’t slip on any banana peels or similar slapstick cliches: here are My Top 10 Looney Tunes Characters!

10. Speedy Gonzales.

Speedy is one of a few Looney Tunes characters who has sort of faced some controversy over his career (I refer you to Pepe Le Pew, for example). Some people have complained he’s a negative stereotype, but thankfully, the majority of people seem to really love the character. I think the reason why so many love him is because Speedy is one of the most positive and genuinely good characters in the Looney Tunes canon: he’s a character whose able to be heroic while also genuinely being really funny and interesting to watch. The self-proclaimed Fastest Mouse in All Mexico loves to race, loves to play, and isn’t afraid to shoot down the absurdity of some of his more bonkers co-stars, just as he isn’t afraid to outrun and outsmart any cat that tries to harm him or his friends. He’s a lot of fun himself, and he loves to have fun, and that’s probably the best type of cartoon hero there can be.

9. Sylvester the Cat.

Sylvester is one of several characters on this list notable for his sheer versatility. Most of his cartoons do focus on the same basic setup, mind you: Sylvester is hungry, and trying to catch something to eat…but inevitably gets foiled at every turn. Sometimes his prey is the aforementioned Speedy, who - in Coyote-and-Road-Runner-esque fashion - Sylvester is just never quick enough to slow down. He’s also occasionally gone after a kangaroo named Hippety Hopper, whom Sylvester somehow keeps mistaking for an oversized rat. (My comments on him “not being quick” stand here, too.) Most famously, of course, he’s the “Bad Ol’ Puddy Tat” constantly trying to gobble up Tweety Bird…who you will NOT be seeing on this countdown. (I’ve never actually liked Tweety, save for a few appearances. I WANT that super-cutesy little PSYCHOPATH to be cat food someday, and I don’t care how heartless that makes me sound.) While all of these did follow some similar patterns and formulas, each of these opponents offered a different kind of conflict for Sylvester to overcome, and therefore a different set of gags that could be utilized, and a lot of different scenarios to allow for comedy to happen. He also popped up in a few cartoons with Porky Pig, which brought a new dimension to the character: in these appearances, a mute Sylvester is depicted as Porky’s pet cat, who constantly has to save his oblivious master from all sorts of dangerous situations. Whether he’s a well-meaning scaredy cat or a greedy predator, he’s always fun to watch.

8. Yosemite Sam.

One of the most renowned villains in the Looney Tunes catalogue. I like to think of this loudmouthed little cowpuncher as the WB equivalent to Disney’s Pete. Both are characters who are versatile in how they have been fitted into just about every sort of time period and setting imaginable, with just about every antagonistic role you can think of. He’s most famous as being a Wild West outlaw, naturally, but Sam has also played a Black Knight, a Hessian Soldier, a Space Invader, a Crooked Politician, a Pirate, a Prison Guard, and many, MANY other things. Each time, his personality is the same: wild, hysterical, ornery, scheming yet somehow gullible, and eternally frustrated, usually due to the efforts of “that lowdown, long-eared, carrot-eatin’ varmint,” Bugs Bunny. Sam’s personality is just such an easy one to handle, and so fun to play with, you can put him into just about any type of situation, and without needing to change him much, he can work just as easily. I actually feel really bad placing him so low on the list, but hopefully those above him won’t disappoint.

7. Elmer Fudd.

Elmer is another character, sort of like Sylvester, who can play either protagonist or antagonist just as easily as the other. In fact, he’s been both more often than Sylvester has! We know him best, of course, for his many attempts to hunt down Bugs Bunny (and Daffy Duck), and these stories already have plenty of fun reinventions, twists, and overall moments. Everything from putting Elmer in different time periods (like the Stone Age), throwing him into different settings (like chasing Bugs into an opera house), or just changing up his role in some crazy way (like making him a viking with a magic helmet). No matter what you do, these always end the same for Elmer: either he never gets Bugs, or he THINKS he does, and then immediately regrets it because he’s just too softhearted and slow-witted for his own good. However, Elmer’s played other parts as well: sometimes he’s not even hunting Bugs, he’s just the victim of that “Wascawwy Wabbit’s” cruel pranks. Sometimes he’s just trying to get by, and Daffy Duck starts causing chaos for him. Poor Elmer just can’t catch a break, and that’s kind of why we like him: even when he IS the bad guy, he’s far from the WORST guy. Add to that his iconic voice and mannerisms, and it’s no wonder he remains one of the most recognizable characters in this group.

6. Porky Pig.

Believe it or not, Porky was the first real superstar character in the Looney Tunes library. That’s one of the reasons the classic ending line we all know and love was given to him (it’s also why Bugs would later take it over a couple of times, when HE became a star). Much like Yosemite Sam, Porky is one of the most versatile characters on the team, but in a different way: while Sam is a versatile antagonist, Porky is a versatile protagonist. Porky is essentially the straight man to all the other totally bonkers toons around him. He’s sort of the Kermit the Frog of this universe: a guy constantly trying to keep his cool and be civil, but forever aggravated and tormented by the world around him. With that said, the way he bounces off different characters already has a lot of different ways of working: his most famous co-star is probably Daffy Duck, and even just with that one character, they’ve had a relationship that has gone in just about every direction it can go. Sometimes Porky is Daffy’s sidekick, who always proves to be more competent and level-headed than the vain and over-the-top Daffy could ever hope to be. Other times, Daffy is actually HIS sidekick, forever frustrating Porky with his goofy antics. And still other times, there’s no “sidekicking” involved, Daffy just…kind of shows up to totally ANNOY the pig until Porky inevitably snaps and goes berserk. Even Porky cartoons that don’t involve Daffy (and there are plenty of those) usually follow one of these three patterns: Porky is eternally an Alice in the Wonderland of the Looney Tunes…you know, if Alice had a stutter. And was a pig. And was no longer female-okay, that analogy didn’t work, but you get the idea.

5. Taz.

Taz, a.k.a. The Tasmanian Devil, is a rare example of a character whose star has risen over time since his initial appearances in the Golden Age of the Looney Tunes. Back then, Taz only showed up in five cartoons, between 1954 and 1964; the twilight decade, many would say, of these great cartoon stars. No one would have likely guessed that Taz would take off to become one of the most iconic and popular characters in the Looney library, with tons of merchandise, a TV show with him as the main protagonist, several major video game and film appearances, and so on. For some reason, however, this wild, ravenous, spinning-and-slobbering devil just kept being used, and the public kept eating him up just as fast as he ate…well…EVERYTHING up. He went from a pure villain who would devour anyone in sight, to suddenly becoming a slightly more heroic, albeit not always terribly bright, character. He can, could, would, and WILL just as easily play the role of an ally to characters like Bugs and Daffy, as much as their adversary. It’s hard to say exactly why Taz caught on, but I’m certainly not complaining about it, since he’s a ton of fun to watch every time. And again, that’s really all a great cartoon star needs to be. (Also, for anybody who may be curious...I do have a mild crush on this guy. I’m weird, shush.)

4. Wile E. Coyote.

It was actually really hard for me to choose between Taz and the Coyote, and I’m not honestly entirely sure if I made the right choice. It was essentially a tie between the two characters; on any given day, my mind could change. But, in the moment of making this list, I felt Wile E. deserved slightly higher placement, and thus here we are. (Also, yes, much like Taz, I do have a mild crush on the Coyote. Again, I’m weird, shush.) Having said all that, I imagine this self-proclaimed Super-Genius hardly needs an introduction. Much like Sylvester, Wile E. mostly spends his time trying to get something to eat. Usually, he’s found chasing the Road Runner and trying to trap him, but on a couple of occasions he’s bedeviled Bugs Bunny, and once in a blue moon he’ll have encounters with other characters. In most of Wile E.’s appearances, he’s a silent character, communicating solely through body language, facial expressions, and the occasional random sign he pulls out of nowhere. Whenever he DOES speak, he speaks in a smooth, slick, uppercrust English or Mid-Atlantic dialect. Whether silent or speaking, this Coyote’s basic trouble is always the same: despite his own confidence in his supposed superior intellect, a combination of clumsiness, shortsightedness, and his bizarre obsession with relying almost entirely on the ACME Corporation’s clearly faulty products always leads to him getting bamboozled. Over time, animators, writers, and directors have found new ways to spin off of Coyote’s usual formula, with stories like him taking the Road Runner to court, or turning into a fat slob due to an over-reliance on his own inventions. It’s the bizarre blend of brilliance and determination against poor planning and overconfidence that makes him such a fun character to see in action. He may never win…but I think a lot of us wish he could.

3. Daffy Duck.

While Porky was the first superstar character among the Looney Tunes (and Merrie Melodies), Daffy was really the first breakthrough character that was TRULY befitting of the title “looney.” In the early days, Daffy was a wisecracking, wild character, zipping about and causing trouble; a constant trickster who was a bundle of energy, causing mayhem for various hapless boobs. Most of the characters who followed suit on this idea - including his future rival, Bugs Bunny - essentially took their cues from Daffy’s book. Over time, the character crystalized into the mad mallard we know today. Daffy is still zany, but what he’s most known for today is his ego. Daffy is practically a narcissist, selfish in just about every way, as well as frequently quite greedy. Everything he does is for either the spotlight, cash, or both. He’s yet another character who has been the villain just as often as he’s been the hero…but even when in a more protagonistic role, he’s ALWAYS a flawed character, whose self-serving attitude leads to disaster for himself, and usually for many others. Just like Yosemite Sam, he’s also a character who has played many roles: any time the Looney Tunes want to parody a particular genre, it seems like Daffy is always the character who gets chosen. Whether he’s imitating Robin Hood or Sherlock Holmes, or going on high-flying escapades as the incompetent space hero called Duck Dodgers, you can go on a lot of different adventures with him. He’s been partnered up and pitted against nearly every character on the crew, and each and every alliance, rivalry, and so on is fun to see in action.

2. Bugs Bunny.

Just as it was hard to choose between Taz and Wile E. Coyote, it was also hard to choose between Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. In the end though…maybe it’s too predictable, but I ultimately did feel I preferred Bugs SLIGHTLY over Daffy. What’s interesting is that, in the early days, Bugs was pretty similar to Daffy: in a lot of his earliest appearances, they’re almost the same character. Both were madcap tricksters who seemed to exist just to drive other characters completely insane for the sheer sake of it, and both had big egos that needed to be satisfied. (In Bugs’ case, this was most evident in encounters he had with the character Cecil Tortoise, who might be the only character in all of Looney Tunes to truly outmatch Bugs on the cartoon battlefield, over and over again.) Over time, however - mostly thanks to Friz Freleng and Chuck Jones - Bugs began to evolve. While still a trickster with a wild sense of humor, the character became more laid back, casual, collected. He was someone who went into situations with the confidence that he could come out okay, if he just thought fast and didn’t let it all faze him. And while he could be downright cruel in the ways he would trick and toy with people, the attacks became unprovoked less often: it was usually a case of others doing something wrong to Bugs, and he would finally lose patience and declare, “Of course you realize THIS means war.” That’s essentially the Bugs Bunny we know today: he still faces conflict and such, but it’s his approach and the way he reacts to situations that makes him such fun to watch. Once again, it also makes him quite versatile, as he can be anywhere and play just about any role, from the star of the show to more of a narrator or similarly peripheral character. He can be the everyman, the superman, and as long as it always sticks to the traits he started out with, it will always work. In fact, the only real question about his placement on this list is…why isn’t he number one?

1. Marvin the Martian.

I don’t know WHY Marvin is my favorite Looney Tunes character, but he is, and really always has been. He’s not by any means the funniest of the Looney Tunes, but there’s something about this little world-destroying gremlin I find endlessly endearing. Much like Taz, Marvin started out as a small fish in a big cartoon pond; in fact, just like the Tasmanian Devil, Marvin the Martian (originally called “Commander X2,” and later “Antwerp”) only showed up in five cartoons during the Golden Age of the Looney Tunes. He fought Bugs Bunny in four of them, and Daffy Duck and Porky Pig in another. And while he hasn’t become the merchandising mammoth that Taz has, he’s still got a very loyal fanbase and following, and has remained a mainstay among the Looney Tunes ever since. Just like Taz, creators just kept using him, and fans kept asking for more; somehow, this little martian never faded away. What I love about Marvin is that he’s essentially another straight man, much in the way Porky is…but now, he’s a straight man on the opposite side of the fence. He’s usually the bad guy, while Porky is almost always the protagonist: whether Marvin’s trying to abduct people, conquer worlds, or blow up the Earth (because it obstructs his view of Venus), he’s always an obstacle the other characters have to overcome. Yet he’s depicted as so loveable and so mild-mannered, it’s hard to be scared of him or dislike him. It also means the moments where his inner rage gets the better of him, and his temper flares, become all the more hilarious: seeing that pomposity and stiff-upper-lip nature get blown apart at the seams is always a ton of fun. It’s difficult to describe my reasoning, but regardless, Marvin the Martian will always be My Favorite Looney Tunes Character.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Foghorn Leghorn.

Michigan J. Frog.

Rocky & Mugsy.

Road Runner.

Lola Bunny.

Gossamer. “Th-The-The E-THAT’S ALL FOLKS!”

[iwillburn]

I’ve put myself in a prison of my own creation I did this to myself I over share, I tell my plans thinking people are in my corner or have my best interest at heart

I’m constantly self sabotaging pushing the people I love the most away I something do know what real anymore idk who wants me I’ve realized so much about myself this year and I’m disgusted with myself I promised my self I’d be strong I never thought I’d turn into this when I telling the truth it’s looked at as lies and when I’ve lied it was to protect myself from more pain I’m not a victim I haven’t been a good person I must accept my wrongs and take accountability all year has felt like one big reaction …… reacting to people throwing jabs at me trying to destroy my mental …. Reacting to people pull at my heart going for my soft spot using me because they know how I love and how much I have to give and my reactions are my fault as a man I should have control over how I engage with people I should know better and I’m so disappointed and how much control I have people over me, I’ve been cruel I’ve been dishonest, I’ve been cold, I’ve been angry, and over all ive been a loser when i look i. the mirror idk what looking at anymore ive been called every name in the book for incel to narcissist, self absorbed, bipolar, autistic, slow dumb, know it all, lame, goofy fucboy, burnout, junkie clunker….like make up your mind i wont pretend like i dont have issues but i know now i have to be careful and who i allow to come in my energy give theyre opinion of who i am i almost started to believe them i have so much work to do and i cant let anyone in rn i to be sure im doing whats best for me and i wish this year didnt happen but i needed very lesson every step of the way i lost my person ik she was my person and it scares me to think ill never have a connection like that ever again we had so much in common it was wild at some point i thought she was copying my every move just to get attached in reality i got caught uo in my head inlet the people around me and my past hold me back from letting this person in….. all the plans we had all the places i wanted to take her all the self improvement we did together she has been the only person in the past 10 years thats help me in ways i didnt know i needed she made me want be a better man not only for myself but for everyone around me i fucked it up but how i did is so dumb paranoia and letting other people get in between us i was gang stalked my her ex and his friends and i should kept it to myself but at some point i thought she was in on it she would pull away at random and treat me as if i was a stranger all the things we told each other started to feel as if they've never been said at all she made me feel weird or creepy for check up on her or comforting her for sub tweets i knew were aimed at me all of a sudden im a stalker or im not respecting boundaries i deactivated all my accounts not only because of the gang stalking but also because i never wanted anyone to feel like im watching them that shit made me feel gross and i care so much about her feeling and her privacy i respect this person they've go me through the tuffest time in my life they dam near brought me back to life bur i cant accept the treatment anymore i found out they had 6 profiles and they would watch me on them so the projection is crazy i started making profiles to get away i had a youtube channel input alot of work into ive learned to keep they things i hold dear to myself now my accounts kept getting reported on all platforms she use my new accounts as proof that i watching her from them but i was trying to get away from her ex and continue my career well wanna be career ive been dealing with this so long i almost started to believe her i became scared to long in anything because i felt like many im the problem i havent been perfect but wtf is going on my mental was really tested this time im still trying to understand what was real this hurt me to my core she knows how much power she has over me and i wasnt afraid to hide how important she was to me i still dont want to believe she did any of this on purpose i dont want to believe her and her ex we in on it together but ill truly never know

[silverskulltula]

Get to Know Me Tag Game

I was tagged by @sanguinerosie ! thank you!!!

1. are you named after anyone? Partially after my great-grandfather, who passed away before I was old enough to remember him

2. when was the last time you cried? I think after a stress nightmare I had about half a year or so ago

3. do you have kids? no lmfao, not very into the idea of ever having them either

4. what sports do you play/have you played? never played sports but I did jrotc in high school (fell into it freshman year because I had to pick between it or PE and ended up liking it and making a lot of friends through it.) I ended up in charge of academic team and also did a little bit of drill and rifle team senior year

5. do you use sarcasm? p often

6. what’s the first thing you notice about someone? a huge part of my job is triaging people and being the first person to put eyes on a new patient so while I'm listening to history/getting vitals I always pay attention to someone's expression and overall body language when they're meeting me for the first time. so much of my job is constantly meeting new people but I'm an introverted anxious mess outside of work

7. eye color? blue

8. scary movies or happy endings? I love horror but I'm not big on lots of gore or shock value just for the sake of it. I like to be scared by something, not to watch something that's trying its hardest to be as edgy as possible

9. any talents? I can't think of any natural talents because inside I kinda believe I'm overall pretty mid at everything. but for skills/pursued interests/career related talents, I think I've gotten good at making first impressions with people, knowing what to look for when doing assessments in the ER, that I've seen a wide enough spectrum of things to be able to broadly anticipate order sets, and have also picked up enough overall skills to be self-sufficient re: my own labs, IVs, bedside skills/assisting docs, knowing what to grab for this or that, etc. I'm casting a very wide net here but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm comfortable in my specialty, I get how it works, I like what I'm doing, and it's all a result of putting in the time actually gaining experience to get where I am now. So not "talent" but time I've put into my career.

10. where were you born? the midwest. I went back to visit my mom every year but she passed away almost 2 years ago now. I have more family around there but I don't think I'll be going back as often anymore.

11. hobbies? gaming, music, sci fi, but I also want to get into biking more and start going to local renaissance faires and such to get out more

12. any pets? one cat, she's a polydactyl cat and she chose me as her person since she was a kitten

13. height? 5'8"

14. favorite school subject? biology

15. dream job? I love the ER but one day I'd like to make the jump to a non-bedside job in healthcare for the sake of my own physical and mental health. something like informatics or biomed where I could still apply my experience to work on process improvement or things like that. I absolutely do NOT ever want to teach (at least not nursing)

The game says to tag 15 but I'm gonna tag as many people as I can think of so feel free to participate if you wanna, no pressure! apologies if I miss any mutuals/anyone, this is also an open invitation for you to answer if you want!

@batgirlfangs @cinsynate @whats-ursine @memetrash-coyote @clumsyrubicunda @undacvr @tsdo @pumpkajelly @azurecrucis @themushroombat @revotheus @jinglebellrockstars @pk-nexas @raspbrrytea @bigbassnospace @alolabraixen @skeezels @rexiedemibunny @zucktales @piraticoctopus @fruity-bats @astralikacastle @bussywhipped @pocotippy @raichuunosuke @xxx---sink----xxx @tolovedolliedearest @icyfloridian @hamcubes

[randomfoggytiger]

Typing: INTPs In Their Own Words

A short while ago, I created a Mulder Typing post explaining why he's an INTP (not INFJ/INFP); and, while I was compiling notes, I collected some comments from INTP users and stashed them away in a document. While going back through to get inspired for a future post (whatever that will be), I found them again; and was struck with a brilliant idea: why don't I simply post them in full so that everyone can read INTP thoughts/processes in their own words? There are many flavors of INTPs (since Typing is just a system showing how the brain processes information, not a personality box you have to stuff people into-- the old Nature vs. Nurture dynamic)-- perhaps you'd be interested in what they have to say?

There's a lot of good, some bad, and a little ugly; but we need a full picture to see these good souls for who they are~.

(Shoutout to my INTP mutual @baronessblixen! She mainly inspired this post for me~.)

**Note**: I will try to translate the technical terms as I go along (since they are mostly referring to Typing terminology and processes), so don't worry if the comment doesn't make much sense at first! :DDD

And now-- in no particular order-- here they are on their own terms!

""Why bother... Why do I even bother?.... Why would anyone care?...." The mantras of the INTP"

""They are legitimately worried that other people in the world are stupid."" As an INTP, I genuinely started to have that worry when I started noticing that my former classmates are holding executive jobs. As for fashion sense, I used to let my mom buy my clothes until late high school. But in the past 10 years or so and probably due to my ENTJ sister's influence and my interests in arts I started to develop a bizarre wardrobe. It had mellowed down a bit but I still get "that looks cool but I'd never do it myself" comments."

"I’m an INTP and the telling the same story over and over again is definitely a thing. But I don’t do it because I don’t remember having told it that person, usually. I’m usually the one who remembers everything I’ve ever said to someone, or heard from them in response in unreasonable amounts of detail. And then, over time, no one else remembers our conversations as well. So I start telling the same story I like telling, assuming that either they don’t remember hearing it, or if they do, they’ll stop me and say they remember me telling that one."

"The Ni critic explains why i can never decide on an acedemic/career path. Afraid of not choosing the wrong path or not being able to contribute anything new/novel/inovative to the field. But desperately wanting to prove to the world our brain has some thing significant to contribute but afaid of failing"

"Ti is logic and it’s basically what the individual believes is true or false. Like me, for example, if this is truth and this has to be true, basically, if this-then this, constantly." 

"My INTP younger sister is exactly like this [easily exploited]. I hate when she lets peope use her at a door mat. I've dated many INTPs as an INTJ female and really really love the dynamic. But how do I cultivate "immoveability" into the INTP? Personally, my own views are what matter to me, but I find INTPs to almost be too flexible (if that makes sense). One of my exes used to get taken advantage so much it caused me to question his love for himself. I love my sister and obviously want wants best for her, how do I give her some of the INTJ "immoveability" to be less of a door mat?"

"So I’m an INTP but I don’t feel like I’m nowhere near brilliant. I now understand why I always felt so different from everyone else. I understand stuff easier than most but I have to break it down and reiterate to myself. I also did poorly in school until last 2 years of college.... I also have a hard time putting my words together or finding the right thing to say or word to use."

"As a INTP I hate jobs with hierarchy. The idea that someone with a lesser mind will be in charge of me will irritate ... me. At the same time I don't want to be the boss either, the idea of having to baby sit lesser minds will also irritate me lol. The person in charge in my opinion has to be highly intelligent, because that is the only time ill accept it because then I feel like I actually have something to learn from that person to further my own knowledge and the position they have is actually justified in my head."

"In my opinion, INTPs "inevitability" stems from their pessimistic functions, both in the ego and the shadow. The sharp Ne [Me: the fate of all humanity, not just one's own path forward] parent with how responsble it is with its forsight combined with the Fe [Me: human interconnection and emotional outreach] in aspirational mode can provide the most efficient choices for anyone to be better. While their shadow reinforces with  using their will with Ni [Me: personal future and fate, the path one creates forward for oneself] critic and principles with Fi [Me: personalized morals and beliefs] demon/angelic to give structure and brings things to reality to what they foresee."

"I’m an INTP, and can tell you in all honesty that we view forgiveness very differently than all the other types. Forgiveness is but something that you acquire, but in fact more of a gift. You either have it, or you don’t"

"MBTi type claim that they’re INTPs and use it as a crutch to not get anything done or not to go anywhere in life. To be honest, that’s not how that works. INTPs just get too comfortable, and really the only way to motivate an INTP or an INFP because they have Si child is to just make them uncomfortable, and to pull them out of that behind the scenes realm. So, in general respect the behind the scenes, but if they’re not growing as people, if they’re not becoming better human beings, be prepared to pull them out of the behind the scenes, be prepared to expose them, because it’s the only way they will grow. They only understand pain. It’s kind of like those people who have to hit rock bottom before they ever grow up, right?" 

"[Me: Context-- INTP's Nemesis makes them want to question everything, even if they like the information they're given; but often ther Si Child doesn't want to get out of their comfy routine to actually fact check it.] The nemissis thing is funny because as I watched this (and just about everything else I have some experience with) I thought "yeah you seem to have a good grasp of this, but if I had time..." and then I moved on, my inner critic was appeased."

"It doesn’t mean that we should be labeling them hermits or these people who are not good with human beings, etc. Especially INTPs, people are just not as much of a priority to them, because they’re too busy playing with their metaphysical systems. You know, it’s like a big toyland universe that they have access to, mentally, that they’re able to use their thinking models and solve problems. Life to them is a giant puzzle box. Let them play with their puzzle box. They really need that."

" I was talking recently with an INTP mother, who’s actually very good at type, and she trained her son or her daughter, I don’t remember which … But she’s married to an ESTP and they go to church and get involved in church events, and she’d be extroverting in her unconscious or her subconscious side of her mind at that point, and then all of a sudden, she’s like tapped out of energy and she just has to completely disappear and people are like, “Where did she go? Where did she go?” And you’ll find her in a corner where there’s like nobody but her, literally doing nothing but playing puzzles. That’s just how INTPs are."

"Whereas Ne users are very beautiful, they just like to be told by the Ni user what they should do, right? Because the Ni users connected to extraverted sensing and then the Ne users able to be like, okay, “Well I should do this because that’s what you want,” right?” That’s how it works. [Me: Meaning-- Ni users are more focused on what they want/their path forward; and Ne users are less focused on those areas, and are chill if Ni calls most of the shots as long as their opinions/voices are heard.]"

"Fe [Me: INTPs] users want to feel valued, not be source of value. [Me: Meaning-- they don't want to be the stereotypical male bird in a mating ritual dancing and making a big fuss. Others can do that to make them feel valued; but that's not how they show someone that they love, value, or care about them.]"

"Growth and self improvement has always felt to me to be an illusory concept. Obviously we change based on experiences but you can never predict if the experiences you are about to experience are going to lead to being "better" than you were. And what constitutes better? This is the philisophical black hole an INTP like myself can get stuck in when it comes to wanting anything."

"My Fi Demon is a really sharp and brutally honest critic that tells the object of my anger everything that makes them wrong. It’s often followed by guilt, even though I’m only speaking the truth without applying any filter."

"I think with INTPs if they are smart taking the initiative to learn from self help books or if they grow   up in a family and environment that constantly challenges them, it's more about learning what to avoid after repeated experiences of getting burned. I learned about physical pain through sports starting at a young age thanks to my father and social anxiety, dealing with it head on in sports locker rooms, taking toastmasters classes to become a good public speaker, approaching people in cold approach sales etc. So I have the ability to tolerate pain if needed but also have the knowledge on what to stay away from because I've experienced it repeatedly and already know the outcome." 

"I definitely wish my parents had been strict with me. When I asked them for advice, they told me they had no advice to give, and that I should do whatever I want to do. I support myself now, but I spent 10+ years aimless, living off of them. I would have built more useful skills, self-respect, confidence, and better values if they had guided me towards a career and a normal lifestyle. I will definitely give my kids an ultimatum to move out and support themselves for at least a year at age 18, but also will give loving guidance and provide a sense of how to live rather than a liberal attitude of laissez-fair parenting."

"those INTPs, you know, driving their car, they’re like the old man driving their cars, you know what I mean, or the old woman, taking their jolly sweet time, you know, not really in a hurry, I’m never in a hurry. I make sure there’s enough time in my day scheduled, so I can take my time on the road, and [others], you know, cuss at me, honk their horns at me, you know" 

"I agree with you about the subconscious part of INTP. We do care about our loved ones. But if we KNOW that they’re not going to listen, why would we bother?"

"hero of the INTP is a little different. It is Ti hero, logic comes first, they can see into the future of other people, but they do it from a more responsible, a pessimistic point of view." 

"I know that although I always had a real hard time falling in-love and develop strong feelings for a guy, I didn’t have any difficulties being committed and loyal. I know that as a female INTP, it takes lot to decide on a lifelong partner, but once that decision is made, I am fiercely loyal"

"Sometimes, as an INTP, I feel like that I actually am a really-really bad person. I think that I'm actually a psycho, but now I know the reason. When my father died 7 years ago, I remember it was a cold night, my families were grieved, my mother was cried hysterically and so my big brother. Instead, I did not feel anything atm, my aunt kept telling me that my father Infront of me already died but I still didn't feel anything. I was thought that it just a phase of human life and everyone will die eventually, until my brother yelled at me 'What are you doing? It's our father who died!!!' So tried so hard to cry, I didn't even know if that was a real cry or not. And when everyone was still grieving, I decided to sleep so maybe tomorrow I would get my feeling and start to grieve. But after several weeks, I started to think that I don't have my father anymore, the one who was always love me no matter what I did, then finally I can feel my lost and start to cry sincerely. Don't be like me my fellow INTP friends, feeling is important. Don't be so full of logic in those important moments and just blend in. Have a good day!"

"Most of time I have to outsmart myself to not smoke weed, lay in bed, play video games, watch movies and rather go to work instead. Getting out of the comfort zone, nah rather, throwing myself out of the comfort zone is so crucial for me. It completely changes my mindset and pushes me towards growth."

"I'm an INTP. I was married to a very abusive man and had spent 8 years trying to make up my mind as to what I was going to do about it. I went to work one day with a black eye and a co-worker said "if you don't leave him I'll call CPS and then your kids will be taken away" (whether she would have done it or not, idk). That forced me to make the decision to leave and take me out of my "comfort zone". It was the best thing that someone has ever done for me."

"I loved when you talked about wisdom being harsh and "fire". Yeah turns out telling someone "here's the harsh truth about what you're doing wrong, just stop doing it and you'll be fixed" doesn't go over well with most folks. As a teacher, I could absolutely tell how kids were going to turn out due to their parents' behaviour (if the parents were too accepting, the kids would end up helpless; if the parents were too inconsistent, the kids would be unreliable as well etc.) But would I bother telling this to parents? No, of course not, no one likes to be told they're parenting wrong, no one would listen to advice from me, a childless professional with years of experience. Sigh."

"Society appreciates ignorance rather than wisdom."

"I am an INTP. As an ex-smoker it was really hard to stop smoking cigarettes I tried everything but I just couldn't. It was frustrating to me that there is something controlling me. That was [eating away at] ... my brain.I found a book called the easy way to stop smoking on Reddit recommended by ex-smokers. I read it I stopped in a week. Now I'm 8 months clean. I distributed the book to all the people i know who smoke ligit the whole uni. No wants to read the book they think they won't stop they don't believe me. People don't like to take advice people just don't care. This makes me sad."

"It's scary how accurate this is. I almost feel called out for my ways of thinking. In typical INTP fashion I hate being predictable so it's weird to see someone get something this spot-on"

"I see these personality types like INTP as a starting point for personal development and not as a destiny. For example I try to be the one who kicks me out of the comfort zone instead of being dependent on someone else to do that."

"When he said people will hate you and alienate you because you always think your right and come off as arrogant but you usually are right which makes them hate you more. My whole life summed up and yet I never understood why it seemed people had an aversion to me when I had the best intentions. Now I know"

"[Me: Context-- this poster is not an INTP, but has a lot of Fe users in their family. Further context: INTPs are Fe users] I have a family with, I think, a lot of Fe functions. I mean, it does get overwhelming as time progressed and I feel like I'm being gaslighted not being as normal as them, but I can handle it, yes. But the repeating part is just so true. My mom and dad like to repeat stuff as they say it i.e "Don't forget to bring them. Don't forget to bring them. The bag for grandma. Okay ? Don't forget to bring them."

"This was really interesting to watch. I feel that my Trickster Ne is worse because of my Asberger's, it's much harder to interact with people and be aware of my surroundings. Interacting with people and understanding them can be completely exhausting and draining. Weirdly, I find it incredibly hard to predict people, but when I do, it's scarily accurate. My husband, an ISFP, gets so frustrated that I'm "always right". He does have to push me to do things, too. LoL. He, as you said, doesn't give me options but just tells me to stuff, and I do it, kicking and screaming the whole way. :P"

"I am lucky to have a mom that appreciate me and tells me about it quite often, which is very good-feeling, but if she thinks that I'm getting too lazy, she'll be sure to make a move. Really happy to have her in my life."

"I have always had zero fashion sense and 'sloppy' with messy hair is my default look. To help me understand the art and science of dressing right, I have been studying the Kibbe body type system and seasonal color analysis for awhile now, and it was a great starting point. I ended up going really deep into it (like I would any other science), adding my own theories to it. I'd analyze and type friends and family, giving them fashion advice with great accuracy. As for myself, I still look sloppier than ever. Ugh. It's the shopping I hate. And I am too attached to my large comfy hoodies. I need to change lol. I mean, I am an attractive woman otherwise, and I'd like to settle down in the near future. Dressing like a 17 year old boy who lives in his mom's basement certainly isn't helping".

"As an INTP I get stuck in familiar and safe logical pattern loop, caused by my own thinking. On top of that I choose to endure that pain of not taking a risk, being open to risk and taking risk causes me anxiety. Not knowing what to want scares me even more cause i can see the logical fallacy of will and desire with its shortsighted-ness, which causes me further to retreat to my safe routine which i'm willing to endure cause its familiar or obligatory, not taking risk. Its like the saying 'paralysis by analysis', invoking fear and anxiety to risk taking."

"So, I am INTP and also a Psychology student. It's a little bit tiring explaining that I don't want to make therapy. I just want to follow the investigation path and well... they all just say then why did u choose Psychology- and then I am like bcs I WANTED TO KNOW HOW WE WORK. Sad hours... lol"

"I'm not afraid other people are stupid.  I'm afraid they'll misunderstand, which is a slightly different Te nemesis manifestation because that misunderstanding is a HUGE threat to everything I do and it happens a lot.  Also, I can be very ascetic.  Wants are difficult for me.  You put that on the Si child function but I really think it comes from the critic and the blindspot acting in tandem.  Because Se trickster doesn't just mean I bump into stuff.  I barely even recognize material reality.  Like it actually [angers] me ... sometimes that I have to have a physical human body. I don't really understand the necessity of this skin suit.  But as long as I've got it I may as well make it comfy right?  So, I'm off to play PUBG and get some of that dopamine we love so much". 

"As an intp I always felt like I could tell what people were going to do, but until now I never rlly figured the word used to describe it, I always just used the phrase i can read people better in certain situations but I never rlly felt socially adequate like others"

"Yeah... The best way to tick off an INTP is to know what peeves us, but do it anyway... We can tolerate a little, but one second past our timer(and you can't really ever know how long it will be at any given time), our patience will burn away FAST. The better we think you know us(<the "we think" is usually the reason it can seem to come out of the blue), the less tolerant ... we become. Our patience with strangers can be enormous(sometimes ridiculous or un-called-for), but those who we expect to be on our side are expected to know better(whether or not they understand that)... edit: typos"

"[Me: Context-- This is referring to an INTP being uncomfortable about being asked to talk about their innermost feelings casually.] As an INTP female, I have to say this was quite accurate :D I especially appreciated ''Never, ever ask and INTP how they feel! '' I would add, never give an INTP the advice "follow your hart". It makes zero sense to me :D"

"I'm an INTP, here's a little anekdote: When i was younger my dad often went out with me and my brothers to a lake and just relax in the evening before going to bed. So i was like 8/9/10 (dont know exactly) and before going there me and my brother had a discussion, about who is going to sit in the front seat in the car. We said he will sit there on the way to the lake and i will sit there on the way home. But when we wanted to go home, my brother switched into: "No, i am older than you and therefore its my right to choose the seat". We had a little fight and basically i was like: "Okay, ... i am out of here", so i just quit and walked about 15km into the little town where my grandparents lived, because - u know - at grandma's house everything is always fine :). My dad was searching for me, driving around and even thinking about calling the police..because i said NOTHING.. i was just gone I am 22 now and still i have some problems communicating my actions in terms of just leaving the situation. I am always thinking: "U dont have to care about me, you are fine as well so i dont have to care about you...so where is the problem?""

"I don't think an INTP forgets that he told the story already, I believe he tells the story he thinks about because it makes him feel better to talk about it. It's a selfish reason really, but I'm guilty as charged."

"i used to know this intp (i believe) friend. you are extremely on point... extremely. this guy was a red haired nerd who made me laugh harder than anyone i've ever met. i used to be amazed with his casual novel acumen. he often had me crying in laughter in class. he was a huge story teller (stories told over and over). i used to throw him random verbal stimulus (just throw ideas his way) to see his reaction. this man had, literally, zero friends in school (other than me) and i was generally considered somewhat popular and i would regularly leave larger popular groups of others to be around him for his insane entertainment value. he regularly called me a, "... idiot," which made me laugh every time (he would be dead serious when doing this). oh, and btw, i had to beg him to hang out with me when he did... to know how strange this is, you just have to know our situation i guess (like i said, i had the extreme social upper hand that he didn't care about)... anyway, he knew a bunch of small anarchist type knowledge like what would happen if you did these strange things like stick gum wrapper in a socket, rob places in particular ways; it was wildly interesting. the lack of attention he got from others baffled me because he was so unique and extraordinary in my eyes. i was always intrigued how his mind worked. it was intimidating being around this guy with so much street wisdom and casual ability to function flawlessly when he felt like it. ...he's now a pothead (smokes 4 times a day). he did earn a casual master's degree in psychology that he doesn't do anything with. if i smoked like he did, i would fail classes in days. he had a 4.0..."

"I was once told at 26 that I was too old to still be wearing “Sarcastic Tees” from Spencer’s like a 14 year old boy and should be wearing grown men clothes like a respectable member of society. I conceded to wearing flannel button up shirts over those tee shirts. May have been the best criticism that I ever received, because I’m often told how mature I dress now at 32... I guess not a lot of men these days look mature?"

"You just described my dad in 2 functions Ti= Super logical man. Loves motors and electricity. Thinks everybody's an idiot (Shadow Te) Si= Tells the same story a million times not knowing he told the story to the same person the last week. And the week before, and the week before. I've seen it. He doesn't know he's done it. 3 Sundays in a row he told the same story to the same man."

"Back when I graduated high school I skipped the ceremony. My family thought I was crazy and I was like, "so what, almost everyone has a high school diploma. Doesn't mean you're smart.""

"I had an INTP supervisor & his assistant is ISTP, they're brilliant with everything you've stated, but I think I was great at my office manger job & they were unsupportive with some changes I wanted to make. I was trying to create a more positive, supportive experience for our staff & clients by getting rid of [awful] staff. He agreed to fire 1 of the people I was adamant about, but ended up changing his mind (he can be a coward). At my last meeting with him he told me he appreciates me (but it pained him to do it) and I was very valuable to the program, so he does have a heart somewhere. He also said he was critical of me & other leadership staff, to help us. I let him have it. I'm not tolerating that .... He wanted to control everything, even from behind the scenes. He needs puppets and I wasn't going to be that. He is arrogant & 2-face. In front of clients & staff he pretends to be kind, behind their back he talks [badly about them]. He is also overly dependent on the istp too, when she leaves, he is [a goner]. Not a good match for me at all lol"

"[Me: Context-- INTPs are very chill until you ignore their warnings over and over and ruin their own life by extension.] I lost it when you described the Vegeta level tantrums.... So many flashbacks to grabbing the closest thing I could find and straight up hurtling it at someone's (my brother's) head."

"My first and to this day only experience in isfp super ego [Me: Meaning-- INTPs are their angriest/in a rage was, when my mom confronted me the morning before school that I didn't gave her an super important school letter the days before, so she wouldn't sign it that morning, I really thought I would need it this day (later I heard we would need it 2 days later, but I didn't know this at this moment) I saw my future and honor to the teachers and from the teachers breaking away, so let's get to the rage part, I ran into my bedroom and by mistake pulled the door 1meter away from where it should have been (it was ripped out those things which hold the door). That was a really shocky moment for me, because I thought I would have me under controle in such situations, but obviously I didn't."

"you nailed it why care when ppl don't want to know they hate you for caring"

"INTP here. As far as food goes, super adventurous and familiar at the same time. I'll try anything once, and if I like it I can eat it all the time. If I don't, I'll get the priciest/highest rated version I can to make sure it wasn't just the chef/ingredients."

"I'm a female INTP. I'm always so deep into my head that someone can be right beside me and I don't notice them. When they start talking to me, It startles me out of my head. There have been times when I have actually let out a slight scream. I usually get puzzled looks when I try to explain that I was deep in thought and didn't notice them."

"I'm an INFJ living with my boyfriend that is an INTP, and I had to laugh at some of your points because they're so accurate! This man is miserable [in] a suit!"

"I'm INTP and I'm trying to not stagnate, it's pretty weird, because it's seems easier to be moving than to start moving, so yeah moving is worth it I understand that logically, but that's not internalized and I just have incredible difficulty at starting to move forward, or even continue that without external help."

"i'm a intp, i love math, learning about things at school that are actually useful in my life, and the things that are not useful in my life i find it really hard to concentrate on."

"In school we had an art project once to do without the teacher. Just written instructions. I felt like I had understood what was asked and told my classmates. But they thought differently (in a actually wrong way). After ten minutes of pointless arguing I just left them where they stood and started doing my picture. I was practicly the only person who had time to finish. And I was the only one in my class that has understood the instructions correctly. In fact, this project had such bad results that the teachers didn't let it count for the grades. My whole class got Es and Ds while I got a B+. I got to keep the grade and dump another bad grade of mine."

"Used to think I was kind of a feeler and extroverted. Then I stayed alone over Covid... I invented a cure for aging and developed a new species of fish. I think I'm definately INTP. Absolutely nobody believes me, so I know that I must be one!"

"When I first saw the board, I saw Fe, Ti, Si and Ne. And literally it screamed out Iron, Titanium, Silicon and Neon."

"Although I’m not certain I am An INTP( I cannot figure it out!), the “everybody is stupid part” got humbled in me when I entered the oilfield workforce. I grew up with the idea that tradespeople are dumb, and if you aren’t university educated, you won’t be successful. After seeing firsthand that absolutely is not the case, and oftentimes we are struggling with the engineers( Usualt INTP) lack of foresight on their projects implementation. We also have this theoretical framework I use to learn how our plant works, but oftentimes it’s experience and outside the box thinking that operates the plant on a day to day basis. The framework is merely a framework, and reality is usually way different. Paper to implementation is never perfect. Tradespeople in my opinion are far more brilliant than those educated in our institutions and I find myself side by side with teachers, economists and the like. Something I didn’t mention was The humbling part for me was how stupid I was mechanically entering the work force. Able to explain complex plant processes but unable to drain a vessel to prepare for isolation( this is similar to how intps can become good cooks or drivers, by just doing it, million dollar concept eh??). I dedicated myself to doing things on my own like following manuals and YouTube videos for vehicle repairs and performing them myself. I am catching up to rest of my peers and once my working memory and mechanical ability are good, with my abstract ability I’ll be a very good plant operator."

"I’ve stopped doing it, now that I mostly eat lunch at home, but I had a habit of ordering only one dish in each restaurant I went to. My order was always the same, only the type of food changed. So, the waitress would see me and just put in my order. It was very efficient, I reasoned, no need to suffer through the ordering process every day. I wonder if they resented me for it or liked it."

"INTP's: say something that's obvious and really simple to us. ------------others:why are you so mean? ------INTP's: did you say something? ----Others: ...! ----- INTP: shrugs and goes back to absorbing information like a sponge."

"I am an INTP, but I don’t experience a lot of the apathy problems, mostly due to a dad that understands my needs. Also I understand the inferiority/ superiority paradox and constantly try to underestimate myself (still fail to see long term thinking in the majority of people) and try to give credit where credit is due"

"INTP female here; pretty accurate, feeling attacked lol used to be called ice princess as a child. my friends used to call me robot so when my [personality test] came out saying that INTPs are robots, my friends had a lot of fun with that."

"What would you say would be the cause for an INTP with a very messy apartment? I have a few things even from my high school days that haven't thrown away and I'm in my fifties. Also have trouble making decisions of what mail to throw away. Apartment at least navigable but not using nearly all the space that's available..."

"I have anger instead of apathy/indifference. I - or rather my Si - has gotten seriously tired of seeing the same mistakes happen constantly & their repercussions constantly affect my life too, so I can't bear to see people in my life make a similar mistake one more time; thus, I snap & I have to vent...."

"Don't fall into the trap of ignorance for Ti users: last known input or preferred input will make your Ti useless. You have to test and experiment with every opinion or premise, even if you disagree with them."

"A note on my physical environment: (I’m an intp) I do tend to set things down without even thinking about it, it’s like there’s a hidden part in my brain that decides when i want to put something down, and my body just does it, completely unaware. and since i don’t notice it, i can’t even consider whether the place i am setting the thing will lead to struggle in the future."

"[Me: Context-- Here's a rare 'brutally honest' INTP] I’m a woman who’s an INTP, and it’s definitely lonely lol I’m always correcting people, if what they are saying is false. I get told that most people don’t want to be corrected, and find it offensive. Which makes no sense to me. So I’m just rather indifferent when it comes to people. Same with advice, I’m brutally honest when people ask for my opinion/advice. They usually don’t accept it, and wonder why their situation didn’t turn out right"

"My fear of feeling like people around me are dumb have been quenched by my little brother being an ISTP, my mother being wise and my grandmother being an utter genius. If there are three intelligent people around me already there will be more. You will just have to find them and build networks of trust with people humble and knowlegable in their field. Edit: I had an emotional talk with my mother because I agree with my father (even tho his reasons are unknown) that my mother should stop funding my studies. Why? Because I feel like I need an incentive to do something, and I do nolonger want my father to have any authority to say anything to me. Just finally after 21 years to actually become a somewhat independent adult. I know I will always survive, but I am really stagnating."

"As a true INTP , i listened this while playing Sims 3 creating an INTP character , with music turned off while drinking coffee at 12:23 night. 10/10 would listen again. Anyway , i feel like only stupid people are repeating the same story over and over again. I have a rule , if i like a new person and we get close i use my crazy ... stories to "flex" and get close , but only one time. In fact if a person it's telling me the same story three times , im done, i send him/her to the "lame people zone"."

""Wisdom is like fire, it's truth. You gotta get burned in order to get closer to the truth."" THANK YOU. That was beautifully said."

AND LASTLY: INTPs who can't seem to pick a calling in life-- below is some advice (from Person B Person E, and Person F), commiseration, and soothing words of wisdom-- most INTPs change their jobs or career paths regardless because of their fluctuating interests!

Person A: "I am worried to pick my specialization. I dont know what to choose. I am interested in so many things and then i move on. Example: I love art, been going to extra curricular art class since childhood and we would try all different techniques. Even now when i do something, i am interested in it (sewing, knitting, editing photos, felting, clay modelling) and it never sticks long enough to become "proficient" in it, i do it just long enough to get the basics. I am using art or hand work techniques as an example, it is a hobby not a profession I wish to pursue..."

Person B: "Compare all interests, which one of them you stick to the longest and excites you the most. Use a scoring scale & hierarchy to compare so that it is easier to analyze. And then, refer to your Fe, of all those, which one would be the most beneficial to the society. Narrow down to 2-3 choices (you know it's hard to make one choice) and try exploring them (i.e take actions) to further make distinction which one is feasible for you to specialize in (I mean realistically). I was at one time that it is possible to me to choose any career path I want to, from medicine to architecture, from art and design to computer engineering. Just like in the video, a naive INTP decided not to choose because he knew people in those field and didn't feel like really great about them and thought it didn't feel too worthwhile to take on a path to be like them. I ended up compromising my specialization and chose a subjectively easier course just because I could continue learning other fields and I did learn them. Though right now, I didn't 100% regret my choice back then as I aspire to do integration of fields rather than traditional specialization, I didn't see any problem if I did choose one of the famous career path earlier and I might feel as fulfilling as I'm now but in different departments of fulfillment."

Person C: "I’m going through the same thing. I’ve completed my bachelors in science and I work as a youth worker... but I also want to be an author. In fact, it’s always been a passion but I’m just now realizing that. But I’ve also developed a passion in research while doing my undergrad so I’m wondering whether or not to pursue my masters since that might lead me to a more sustainable career"

Person D: "Everyone I Know: You are so gifted. You could literally be anything you wanted be without even trying. Just pick something. Me:.......There are so many options, but are any of them worth it. I fail to commit to one area of study and let years go by without moving forward in life."

Person E: "I think society puts so much pressure on what you're gonna do "for the rest of your life" and "it has to be the perfect fit FOREVER". Unfortunately it never works out like that, people change and you change, and you won't be the only person who will likely want to change careers later on in life, and that's ok. From what you wrote, it seems like you are more on the 'create and make' side of things, and I find that really cool, and I also think the best step forward would be to force yourself to stick to something and build it up a bit, after a while you'll find yourself comfortable with where you're at and you can either go to something else (creative jobs have lots of transferrable skills and you'll probably be very good at them if you wanted to) or stick with whatever you choose because it's now your new comfort zone Something that helped with my indecisive nature is reading a quote, basically: time will pass anyway, so might as well be a year in the future with a step forward towards a specific something than nothing at all."

Person F: "I struggled with this one for a bit at university when I found what I originally thought was the perfect profession that would blend everything together (medical illustration). I went to a school with a weak art program, wanted to transfer after the first year and felt guilty about starting something and not finishing it. I graduated with the degree but didn’t finish the art program. convinced a counselor to let me skip classes. Since I wasn’t at the level I needed to be 3 years ago, I changed my goal and decided to hold this one off until I’m way older. Do something for a few years then switch off when you’re ready for that next experience!"

WELP.

That's all for now!

If you want, I'll make another post in future-- maybe more INTPs, maybe some ISTJs (for Scully representation, post here~.)

Thank you for reading--

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

[windybit]

My comments aren’t going to be hidden in the tags this time because I’m very passionate about this specifically.

Another issue is that if you want a job with decent pay, they expect you to have a degree (OR 8-10 years of experience). And even if you do have one, you still might get paid like shit because it’s the BARE MINIMUM. Going to college for four years and earning a Bachelor’s degree is not the achievement it was back in the day. And it’s even LESS affordable now than it was 30+ years ago. So companies are expecting all these 20 somethings who have nothing to their names to spend tens, sometimes HUNDREDS of thousands of dollars to get an 8.5x11 signed by some old fuckers that says congrats you learned some shit specifically pertaining to a career path. And even that’s not enough. You have to have 2-5 years of experience SPECIFICALLY pertaining to the job you’re applying for too. Where do you get it? Who the hell knows. I sure don’t. And how are you supposed to get it if nobody will hire you because you don’t have it?

Also have you guys TRIED writing a cover letter? After growing up being told not to brag about yourself, it’s really hard to write a whole letter bragging about yourself in a professional manner.

Third of all, and this is a big pet peeve of mine, so many people say “You need to call them and bother them. Ask if they got your resume and when you can expect an answer.” News flash: you can’t. Nobody posts phone numbers for their HR departments, and I can guarantee they don’t want to hear from you either. You could maybe send them an email, but it’s SO easy to just ignore an email and claim you never received it. Or they actually won’t see it because it’ll get buried under all the other emails they’re getting from the hundreds of other applicants who are also trying to get a job.

For example, my degree is in engineering. Computers to be exact. You would think I’d have an easy time finding a job because everyone needs computer bitches. And you would be wrong. I have been applying for jobs for almost ten months now. I graduated in May. I have had THREE interviews, countless rejections, and even MORE who have just. Not replied at all. The lack of progress has been infuriating. I’m living with my parents, I’m driving a car that they own because I can’t afford to buy one (not even used), and I have no dental or vision insurance because the cutoff age for those is different than for medical. I have loan payments that start in a month. And it’s not that I don’t want to work. I want to work so bad. I want to make money and be able to pay my bills and be financially independent and move out. I had a job, but it was seasonal because I thought for sure I’d have found a full time job by the time October rolled around. Because 8 months should have been more than enough time to find a job. And tbh I love my seasonal job and would probably do it forever if not for the fact that insurance is super expensive and it doesn’t pay the best.

So yeah. Please please please don’t buy into the “nobody wants to work” biz. Yes there are some lazy fuckers out there who don’t want to work. But there are way more of us who are trying and trying to get a job and are just being rejected and ghosted constantly by these companies who won’t even give so much as a reason why. And please, if you know someone who is or has been struggling to find work, don’t tell them what they should or shouldn’t be doing or what they’re doing wrong unless they ask for your advice. Nothing has been more frustrating than the boatloads of unsolicited advice people (mostly over the age of 50) have been throwing out left and right. Just support your friends and sympathize with them as they wade through hundreds of job postings that they’ll never hear back from. And maybe send them one or two if you happen to find one that fits what they’re looking for :)

[flirting-with-psychology]

1 I’ve only had two boyfriends. And I’ve only kissed two people. 2 I’m really picky about everything. 3 There isn’t a single thing that I wouldn’t over-analyze. 4 Every time I’m on the computer, I’m on Tumblr. 5 My biggest fear is that I’ll look back on my life and feel like it wasn’t even worth it. 6 I don’t know how to change that. But I’m trying anyway. 7 I still don’t drive but I hope I’ll have a car by the beginning of 2011. 8 is my favorite number. 9 Jersey Shore has to be one of the best reality shows ever. 10 If I had to marry a girl it would be Rihanna or Lady Gaga. 11 I have spiderbites on the left side of my lip. 12 My hair is dyed red. 13 I can’t wait until I have enough money to go shopping. 14 Winter is my favorite season. But I quite like Fall. 15 I would love to travel to different countries. 16 I’ve never even left the east coast. 17 I’m not extremely religious but I love my church. 18 I’m very sentimental. 19 It doesn’t take much for something to remind me of someone. 20 My dreams are always really crazy. I like to analyze them sometimes. 21 I’m so glad the new season of House has started. 22 I should really exercise but I seriously lack motivation. 23 I’m constantly using adverbs. 24 When I’m feeling emotional, I like to write about it. 25 I kind of feel lost. Like I’m floating with no direction. 26 I probably worry entirely too much about my future. 27 This winter, I’m going to work on totally changing my wardrobe. 28 I love when I can really get into a song or a book. 29 The amount of Facebook creeping I do is probably not healthy. 30 My nails are always painted black and white. 31 It really bothers me when I make a list and it begins with the same thing so this survey is annoying to make. 32 Purple is my favorite color. 33 There’s a career that I would love but I don’t really know how I’d even get involved in it. 34 I want to be fucking rich. 35 I’d rather live in the city. 36 My parents have been divorced for a long time. 37 I’m a big daydreamer. It affects my life a lot because I wish that I could actually live in the imaginary world I create for myself. 38 I hope that one day, I’ll feel like I’m good enough for someone. 39 Cherry Coke is the best soda. 40 It honestly blows me when people say they can’t tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi. But it’s even more appalling when they think Pepsi is better. 41 I’m pretty liberal. 42 I’m really easily annoyed and I can’t even stand people for the most part. 43 I try to find out why I do the things I do and feel the way I feel about everything. 44 I hope one day, I’ll find someone who’s worth knowing everything about me. 45 Honestly, I think I’m an interesting person. 46 But I really don’t like for people to find out that much about me. 47 Lately, I’ve sort of been into making lists. 48 I’ve changed a lot over the years. 49 I don’t regret anything. 50 I think this was mostly for me.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

528 of 2023

1 I’ve only had two boyfriends. And I’ve only kissed two people. 2 I’m really picky about everything. 3 There isn’t a single thing that I wouldn’t over-analyze. 4 Every time I’m on the computer, I’m on Tumblr. 5 My biggest fear is that I’ll look back on my life and feel like it wasn’t even worth it. 6 I don’t know how to change that. But I’m trying anyway. 7 I still don’t drive but I hope I’ll have a car by the beginning of 2011. 8 is my favorite number. 9 Jersey Shore has to be one of the best reality shows ever. 10 If I had to marry a girl it would be Rihanna or Lady Gaga. 11 I have spiderbites on the left side of my lip. 12 My hair is dyed red. 13 I can’t wait until I have enough money to go shopping. 14 Winter is my favorite season. But I quite like Fall. 15 I would love to travel to different countries. 16 I’ve never even left the east coast. 17 I’m not extremely religious but I love my church. 18 I’m very sentimental. 19 It doesn’t take much for something to remind me of someone. 20 My dreams are always really crazy. I like to analyze them sometimes. 21 I’m so glad the new season of House has started. 22 I should really exercise but I seriously lack motivation. 23 I’m constantly using adverbs. 24 When I’m feeling emotional, I like to write about it. 25 I kind of feel lost. Like I’m floating with no direction. 26 I probably worry entirely too much about my future. 27 This winter, I’m going to work on totally changing my wardrobe. 28 I love when I can really get into a song or a book. 29 The amount of Facebook creeping I do is probably not healthy. 30 My nails are always painted black and white. 31 It really bothers me when I make a list and it begins with the same thing so this survey is annoying to make. 32 Purple is my favorite color. 33 There’s a career that I would love but I don’t really know how I’d even get involved in it. 34 I want to be fucking rich. 35 I’d rather live in the city. 36 My parents have been divorced for a long time. 37 I’m a big daydreamer. It affects my life a lot because I wish that I could actually live in the imaginary world I create for myself. 38 I hope that one day, I’ll feel like I’m good enough for someone. 39 Cherry Coke is the best soda. 40 It honestly blows me when people say they can’t tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi. But it’s even more appalling when they think Pepsi is better. 41 I’m pretty liberal. 42 I’m really easily annoyed and I can’t even stand people for the most part. 43 I try to find out why I do the things I do and feel the way I feel about everything. 44 I hope one day, I’ll find someone who’s worth knowing everything about me. 45 Honestly, I think I’m an interesting person. 46 But I really don’t like for people to find out that much about me. 47 Lately, I’ve sort of been into making lists. 48 I’ve changed a lot over the years. 49 I don’t regret anything. 50 I think this was mostly for me.

[genstart]

My Name Sake & More(Long)

I'm here and back at it again! Physically I’m not laughing but mentally I am. I’m smiling and happy in this moment of typing too. I’m back on here trying(edit: doing.) again, my name sake. Leaving and starting over and that’s all right. Funnily enough I’m 32 now. In my first post I was 29 and mentioned how my brain thought/kept saying I was 32. Lol my body def knows before me.

I’m still in the same relationship even though in a previous post I thought it wouldn’t work. Multilple times during it, I didn’t think it was going to work out. Yet here I still am trudging through. At times recently I wonder if it will work out but that’s alright. There’s going to be doubt so I’ll try to enjoy the good moments while I can even though it’s really hard to with the kind of person I am.

A lot of stuff happened since my last post and I don’t know how things will turn out but I have faith that it will turn out for there better. I’ve become more religious since my first post thanks to the person I’m with. Not because they are but because I got high with them on an edibles. Hey, I’m a person too. We def don’t do it often since it’s the only thing that works on me and at times it makes me feel like I’m dying. I don’t like that feeling. Other times I have terrible deja vu so it’s not a good trip and on the rare occasion I’m sleepy or really sexual with them so it’s a good trip. So maybe 10 or so times? Either way, I don’t want to or plan to do it any more. Even if I do want to get closer to God while doing it.

I haven't gotten a violin, still working on figuring out my feelings, still working on finding out what I want to do in life, the career I want, and I finally got a therapist. Yay me! I’m also a bit happier and more at peace as well. That only happened in the past 10 months, spaced well out. Not all at once. Feeling happier and more at peace when I became more religious as well. Yet even so, my depression is still there. I’m not magically fixed but I am getting better. From previous post to now, I’m not afraid to apply for jobs any more. Be I’m qualified or not.

(In the DMV area I’m looking for entry level IT and Office Administration that can get me in the door for IT. I was A+ certified but it expired in 2017. Definitely willing to learn.)

Since my first post I have realized starting over isn’t bad even though it seems hard for me to do at times. It’s just a new start and I don’t like endings. Yet the new start has an ending as well and who knows, starting a new journey may not be so hard, or maybe it’s already begun. I’ve just got to be more positive about it. It’s one thing I noticed and realized about myself. I'm not as positive as I like to think I am. So I have to work on that as well and constantly remind myself if I can. So I took steps back but here I am today starting a new journey even if it’s the same one. I ended something so I can get better and be here today. I haven’t given up. Great job 29 year old me for making this blog!!!! YYYEEEAAAHHH~!!!!!! I’M PROUD OF YOU!!!

I think the lecture I was supposed to do was an IT lecture, which I did!!! Just a bunch of IT videos I have to watch. I still haven’t figured out how to balance work, free time, school, and people. Double since I only had a part time when I last posted and quit(it was a toxic work place). It’s def going to be different with a full time job. Yet I’m not too worried. Double since I still stopped doing games in my free time to focus on job hunting, studying, religion, and me.

Like? I love the person I was talking to since I’m in a relationship with them now. It has 100% had its ups and downs. Yet through it and religion, I learned what love is and means. That there’s going to be more bad than good times and I honestly have to get over myself. I didn’t learn what it all means or was thanks to them but through religion. That I seriously have to get over myself in order to love. I can’t properly love someone if I’m always focused on myself and have one foot out of the relationship. It’s hard. Extremely hard. Double since I want to be better and grow. It is not in my self interest to be hurt or anything bad. Yet sadly that comes with being in a relationship and I had to get over it. The same happens in religion, we get over ourselves to do and be better for something else. It’s not easy and we’re not perfect. It applies to a lot of things honestly. Life repeats itself in many ways and forms and religion taught me that as well.

I’m not in an abusive relationship but it is a drain mentally and emotionally. Hurt people hurt people after all. Double if they don’t get over themselves. My partner still carries the hurt and pain from their traumas and so do I. We take it out on each other in different ways and of course it’s not a good thing. Yet no one is perfect and we’re both growing. We’re both afraid as well. We’re afraid of the hurt and pain the other might cause us and that we’ll leave each other. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Yet with religion, I got over myself and being afraid of being hurt. Don’t get me wrong, it still sucks and hurts at times. Very much so since it’s frustrating and I don’t want to suffer. Yet you know who suffered for out dumb butts? Jesus did. He was killed for us. I am not going through nearly a much as that so why can’t I suffer a bit for the person I love? Life will not always be sunshine and rainbows. Life sucks and we make the best of it. I just have to navigate the bad times, which involves me appreciating the good times. So when I have a good moment, I have to recognize it and not be apologetic for seemingly enjoying it too much. I have to enjoy it as much as I can since tomorrow isn’t promised. It’s not promised, just like good moments aren’t either. Not just with them but life period. Adulthood sucks. Why would I want to work until I can’t. Not everyone can be super rich to where they don’t have to work.

I still don’t have things to really connect with. I get tired of my usual for connection, I want to expand more. Yet I’m not social. My partner is and I love that about them so much. They’re basically everything I’m not/want to be and I love it. I know some people dislike others since they’re what they’re not but I’m the opposite. I think my partner’s on that side of things actually... I should ask...  Yet that’s all for this post. I MIGHT queue something yet we’ll see.

I don’t think I found that cookbook either... Yet my partner can cook so I don’t really need it right now! Their food is so yummy! Good job me. I’m proud of you. You want to cry as you write this and it’s alright to do so. Don’t forget to be nicer to yourself. It’s actually been helpful. I’m proud that you’ve come so far and look forward to seeing how much you’ve grown in later years since typing this. Double since you’re starting to look forward to stuff in your future, a future period, and new things about you. So keep going. - Fri Jun 30 2023

P.S You were in the library while he was at work. I’m proud of you for crying.

[treppendahl10-blog-blog]

Touch with Louise Rakers

For February’s #CMTOUCH talk, we’ve partnered with Louise Rakers of Nordic Cooking. We chatted with Louise to learn a little about her talk this month at Frothy Beard Brewing. 

1. What do you love most about what you do?

Creating new recipes and cooking. Oh I love cooking so much! On top of that I love surprising my clients with powerful flavors and a beautiful set up. I always go for the wow effect and really love to show Charleston that plant based food can be healthy, stunning and insanely tasty.

2. What inspired you and how did you become involved in your current career(s)?

I struggled with my gut all through my early 20s. A parasite infection and severe burnout from my job in social services caused me to travel to Thailand to do a detox retreat in Chiang Mai. It changed my life completely and I started learning about the plant based cuisine and herbal medicine. I also learned in the same go, that I was celiac. My love for bread and cake made me work hard to figure out how to bake without gluten and make delicious and beautiful creations. I still try to learn as much as I can by traveling and working with other chefs. Life is all about learning and learning never stops. My chef skills are constantly developing and I cannot get enough of it.

3. How do you start your day?

Morning snuggles with my baby and water with greens powder. The day starts early at our house. I have never been a breakfast person, so most mornings I have an oat latte from the Dime during my morning walk with the baby. Then around 9/10 am I have a smoothie.

4. Tell us about your proudest moment or accomplishment.

One of my proudest moments in my career so far has been an invitation to be featured at Opening Night at the Charleston Wine and Food Festival this year. It is an honor to help represent Charleston in a fully plant based and gluten free way.

But my overall best accomplishments are at the dinner events, cooking classes, weddings where we feed guests that don’t like vegan food and they tell me “if I could eat like this every day, I could be vegan”. That makes me proud of my work.

5. Do you have a hidden talent?

       Definitely an excellent karaoke singer if you ask me! Others might disagree.

6. Who or what gives you creative inspiration?

I always feel like traveling gives me fresh inspiration to create and dream of new recipes and ideas. My best work has always been after a trip somewhere and I feel like the change in culture and food helps keep me inspired.

7. Coffee fuels our morning events. If you’re a coffee drinker, what’s your go-to order?

       I love a good latte, counter culture beans are my favorite actually, with oat milk or homemade cashew milk.

8. What is your favorite place in Charleston?

       I have many places I adore, but I truly love Sorghum and Salt. I appreciate their use of vegetables and always feel inspired after having their vegan tasting menu. For a good glass of wine I recommend Graft or Blum if you want to find good organic wines. Neon tiger has amazing cocktails and if Mabel Maes Bakery had a shop I would camp right outside.

9. How do you unwind or de-stress?

       Might sound cliche, but I cook my way out of it. Being a brand new mom came with a lot of new stress and sleep deprivation. Cooking and journaling my recipes during postpartum was my favorite way to relax and feel connected to myself.

Rapid Fire:

morning person or night owl?

Morning Person

Summer or winter?

Summer (spring really)  

Mountains or beach?

Mountains

Pancakes or waffles?

Waffles

Fiction or non-fiction?

Fiction

[glytchedmuffins]

Ben 10, One of Everyone AU, the baby chills

Yup, I'm having the kids be in the AU, though they won't be playing a big part aside one of them due to time travel shenanigens since they are still babies during the shows run.

Some facts though before I go into the rather simplified description of the personalities and futures of the kids:

Due to the stuff I mentioned in this post about the whole barrier between Ben's DNA and the Omnitrix DNA database, the kids despite being mainly Necrofriggians, have quite a bit of human DNA in them, about 25% of their DNA is human.

This affected a lot of things about them, like them desiring parental affection, something which any other Necrofriggian just doesn't understand, but they also gain the ability to take on a human form, like how Alan has a human form and a Pyronite form. They gain this ability at the age of 4.

Also, until they are 3 years old they live in space because they need to constantly eat solar plasma until that age, so they only move in with Ben at that age.

Now, onto the babies:

1st: Lunar- They are the eldest and, despite being older by only seconds, take this role very seriously and try to always be the responsible one, especially when they grow older and start to really see the strain their dad is going through. They do start to relax more and be more easy going as they age though. They eventually become a lawyer that deals with both Earth and intergalactic laws.

2nd: Orion- The most prideful of their clutch, they will not hesitate to tell you how awesome they, their family, and especially their father, is. They are constantly trying new things and getting themselves into trouble, they are also the most taken in with their father's ability to transform and was the first to discover theirs and their siblings ability to take on a human form. Despite hating to study, they end up becoming a scientist, though a very unorthodox one.

3rd: Nebula- Highest sense of justice, they look up at Ben's hero career the most and want to be a hero just like their dad, and so, they end up joining the Plumbers. Unfortunately, they have a bit of a mixed view on what being a hero is and what justice is at first, thinking all bad guys need to be beaten down to the ground as if they all were Vilgax even if they were just a thief trying to feed their family. They eventually grow out of this narrow minded view, thanks to their dad and their future Plumber partner, though they still fall into it at times. 

4th: Ursa- One of the 3 baby chills who can use magic, they have a keen eye when it comes to beauty and aesthetics. When they started living on Earth, they were intrigued by all the different styles the people wore and ended up wanting to create them too, and asked their grandma Sandra to teach them how to knit at first for fun before getting fully into it and ending up being a fashion designer with their own store. They are the best at creating with their magic and even sell magical items and clothes to the magical community. The color of their mana is violet.

5th: Crystal- More reserved than their siblings, preferring to stay on the side quietly making and building things with either their ice or whatever they have on hand. When the Omnitrix City (whose name I will likely change in the future) was being built they were awestruck, the idea of physically making something this big, that has such a big impact on society, was just so incredible in their eyes and they wanted to do the same, so they became an architect. Hatched at the same time as Elyon.

6th: Elyon- This one's curiosity knows no bounds, to the point that they often get themselves into dangerous situations. They always loved to listen to their father's stories of his adventures across the universe, wanting to see all the great things he did. This curiosity made them become an adventurer and to travel across space. They are the one that is home the least due to this, but they still always make sure to call often. Hatched at the same time as Crystal.

7th: Silviana- A real thrill seeker this one is, they are constantly pulling all kinds of stunts, especially in the air, be it by herself or with a vehicle. They have so much energy in them that as a child they couldn't sit still at all, nowadays she manages to channel that energy in the many races they participate in. One of the top flyers and pilots in the galaxy. She/they 

8th: Rat- The most chaotic of their clutch, does the weirdest stuff all the time, which can either end up being hilarious, awesome or infuriating, depending on what mood they are in, it's no wonder they chose to be named "Rat". They also inherited the whole "Danger Magnet" thing from their dad, making them always stumble into trouble, at one point they even stumbled upon the realization that their dad was in a time travel related danger, and instead of telling Ben, they decided it would be better if they time traveled themselves to help out, despite never having done so. They tried to hide this by putting on a mask in their human form and going by Chrono Spanner. It didn't work. They actually end up being an extremely good spy/secret agent for the Plumbers in the future.

9th: Arena- The laziest of the bunch, only napping all the time and nothing else. That did change slightly when they ate food in their human forms for the first time, and became hooked. Now all they do is either cook, eat or sleep. Silviana keeps trying to get them to do more stuff, but to no avail. They work as a chef at one of the best restaurants in the new city.

10th: Specter- The second kid who knows magic and was the one the most fascinated by it when they saw their auntie Gwen use it. They are the most gentle, patient and soft-spoken of the clutch, making them the one the others go to when they need advice or emotional support and Ben isn't available. Which works well with the fact that they ended up becoming a teacher in the art of magic. The color of their mana is blue.

11th: Malinda- Your typical bookworm, loves to read and learn so many new things, though their favorite subject is biology, which means they ask their dad all kinds of questions about all his forms all the time. Definitely the smartest/most knowledgeable sibling, and when he doesn't know something, they'll go out and find it. They end up researching and trying to develop all kinds of medicine, remedies and basically all types of cures in the future. He/they

12th: Callisto- They are the best at fighting, a true natural, basically unstoppable, but are still playful, teasing everyone all the time and cracking jokes. They work as a sort of freelancer, doing all kinds of odd jobs as long as it doesn't go against the few rules/morals they have. Their morals are rather grey so few of those jobs did have them do stuff like murder, but they keep those jobs a secret from their family, even has a special secret identity for those jobs. Also incredibly protective of their siblings. Hatched at the same time as Ruth.

13th: Ruth- The life of the party, literally. Not only are they always cheerful, lively and optimistic, but they also plan parties and events, from fun ones like birthdays to formal ones like weddings and to even sadder ones like funerals. Unfortunately, they keep their extreme cheer even during the funerals and basically all the time, and since it's not fake or forced, it causes a lot of people to see them as creepy and unsettling, but their events truly are the best, making them come back despite Ruth's constant (creepy) smiles. Hatched at the same time as Callisto and is the only one who knows about the less "nice" jobs they do.

14th: Snowthra- The little runt and the last magic user of the clutch. Even after growing up, they are still smaller than their siblings, and while that did bother them, it doesn't anymore, they are very capable after all. A complete pacifist, decided beings do enough harm already and they don't need to add to that, which is reflected in the fact that they have no spells that can cause harm, only for restraining, healing, fixing, protecting, tracking, and so on. They also have a way with people, being quite the charismatic little moth, which works well with their diplomatic job. They focus mainly on helping with peace treaties and anything that helps the general public. They'll do their best to make the universe the best they can, to make it easier to live in for all beings, just like how their dad is trying to. The color of their mana is white.

[boldlyvoid]

the guy at the rock show

she/they reader x Spencer Reid

request for @boba-king-iroh ♥︎

summary: Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

warnings: fluff, mutual pining, getting together, love confessions, friends to lovers, idiots in love, PDA, secret relationships

word count: 5666

a/n: there will be a smutty part 2 eventually because I can't not do that

THE PLAYLIST THAT GOES WITH THEIR SETLIST IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN WHILE YOU READ

Read on Ao3 here!

Taking Garcia’s last name wasn’t something they had to think hard about, Penelope basically raised them; she was like a sister, a best friend and a mother, even a bit of a fairy godmother to Y/N.

They met when Y/N was 17, they were sitting at a support group for dead parents in D.C. Right beside the lovely, overly cheerful, always helpful, Penelope Garcia. At first, Y/N couldn’t stand her, wondering how a person like that could be running a group for mourning people, it made her sick.

It wasn’t until she heard Penelope’s story for the first time, knowing how similar it sounded to her own and how, actually, you can take your grief and turn it into something beautiful. After the meeting, they pulled Penelope aside and gave her a big hug and a thank you.

It was the start of a lovely friendship, one Y/N didn’t know they needed until they were smothered in all the love you could possibly imagine.

The age gap between them wasn’t too big, Penelope was 10 years older than them which meant she was always one step ahead of Y/N and full of advice. Be it fashion, boys, girls and everything in between. They bonded in a way that was unbreakable, they were each other's family.

Penelope even helped her get into med school before she eventually switched to forensic science. Taking on the FBI academy, unlike Penelope, and joining the bureau officially. Penelope was there for her every single step of the way, making her career possible. She loved her dearly and wanted Y/N to succeed more than anyone in the world.

Getting to introduce herself to people as Agent Y/N Garcia, not to be confused with technical analyst Garcia, was one of the best feelings in the world.

Not many people ever mistook them, however, for whatever Penelope was, Y/N was the exact opposite.

Y/N preferred all black everything, she didn’t enjoy partying or close contact or the in-your-face-ness of Penelope’s way of life, she loved her band and motorcycle and being alone. They were quote-unquote edgy, not just for effect, but because it was how they felt the most comfortable, it was who they were and they liked it that way.

They were possibly the best Forensic Specialist the FBI had, keeping her in DC for all the most important cases. Helping her avoid Penelope and the BAU team as much as possible. They were great people, she didn’t hate them at all, it was just a lot of energy that they didn’t have to give to 7 other people all day long.

Spencer was the only one she could tolerate. Rather, he was the one she wanted to spend the most time with, even more than Penelope. He understood Y/N in a way others didn’t.

He was also quiet, like them, he didn’t pick on them or call them mini Garcia, baby-baby girl, or infant as some of them started to call her more recently.

He called them Y/N, he talked to them about star trek whenever he was visiting Penny, and he respected their pronouns. Using both she and they interchangeably, when he spoke of them, unlike most people who only used she and her because it made more sense in their small brains.

However, she wasn’t the only one who got teased. Spencer did as well, almost more because he was around the BAU team constantly. She hated hearing them bully him, he didn’t even count it as bullying but it’s basically what it was sometimes.

They put him down, they didn’t clue him in on things, they called out his stims and didn’t let him finish his sentences, especially when it had to do with his hyper-fixations. He was the brightest light in the room and they just picked his brain till he wasn’t useful anymore, before trying to turn out the light. It made Y/N furious.

They got called Mr and misses genius when they were on a scene together, remembering the first time she ever had a case with the BAU which was also the first time she snapped at someone for being mean to Spencer.

Someone asked Spencer a serious question, to which he did his fucking job and answered. Giving as much detail as humanly possible, being the absolute genius he is and should be praised for, only to have Emily poke him in the cheek and say; “wow, he’s so life-like?”

“Well yeah, cause he’s a fucking human who deserves respect from the people who use his brain all day,” Y/N cursed under their breath from the crime scene, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Leaving the sweetest man on earth to find them later and give them a hug. Thanking them for all that they do, and appreciating what he has to offer. That’s when she realized she liked him, more than just the guy who sometimes sleeps on her couch because he’s friends with her sister.

It was difficult being surrounded by men unlike Spencer, specifically the older men in her field who didn’t understand anything outside of money, guns, and violence. The worst part of the job being the politics in the background; the hierarchy and ass-kissing all because she worked in the nation's capital.

They were sure it was probably better in a smaller facility, a local police station where no one knew her and they could finally have some peace and quiet.

But she’d miss Penelope, and Spencer too for that matter.

At first, they’d hide in their room when Penelope brought him over for movie nights or when he crashed on the couch after bringing her home drunk from the bar. In the early days, she worried that he was going to be her new boyfriend, taking all of Penelope’s free time and leaving Y/N with nothing.

But then he started coming over all the time just to hang out, sitting on the couch with nothing to say, being the third wheel while Y/N and Penelope spent time together. For the last 7 years.

Over that time they had many conversations alone, she learned that he was really smart, he was a lot younger than most of the team because he blew through high school by the time he was 13, and he was genuinely the sweetest man in the whole entire world.

One time, Penelope was running late when Spencer showed up at the door with chips and candy, ready to watch his weekly movie with his friend. Only she wasn’t going to make it home in time, and Y/N didn’t want him to have to go back to his apartment all alone.

“You can come in and watch it with me if you wanted to?” She offered, smiling softly. “What was it you picked for tonight?”

“It was Penelope’s night to choose, so you can pick instead if you want?” Spencer offered right back, walking in like he owned the place.

He was more confident now than he was in the beginning, but that was probably because he was 23 and she was 18.

Back then he’d barely look at her and sometimes he’d shake when they made eye contact or when she got drunk and hugged him goodbye after a long night with Penelope. He was like that with Penny in the early days of their friendship too, apparently, so she didn’t feel too bad about it.

He warmed up eventually, making her wait 7 years for him to do something about the growing feelings they both shared.

“You like Marvel movies right?” She bit the inside of her lip as she waited for his answer. Watching him walk around the kitchen for a bowl that he could put his snacks in.

“Yeah they’re great, I haven’t watched past the second Thor, I think the next one is another Captain America?” he’s all smiles as he joins her on the couch, closer than normal, as close as he’d sit with Penelope, but then again she was a cuddler and Y/N wasn’t.

Sometimes Y/N would come out of her room to find Spencer’s head on Penelope’s lap, resting on a pillow as she ran her fingers through his hair to soothe his perfect mind after a long day. A few times she’s walked in on him crying or even sound asleep in her arms. They had a friendship Y/N admired, they were each other's person.

They comforted each other in the exact way they needed it; Penelope giving him the physical touch he craved and he would often compliment her. He was always telling her she was the best and buying her gifts to show his appreciation, calling her the most beautiful and smartest person he knew. He knew that she needed to hear it, needed the reassurance that she was still a good person and he made her believe it.

It made Y/N love him more seeing how much he cared for her sister.

“The winter soldier is the best!” She gushed, sitting close so they could share the chips as she waited for the movie to load up.

He was very quiet when he watched movies, smiling and laughing at the right parts but typically he paid so much attention it was like he was a statue. Y/N spent more time glancing at him than the actual movie.

“Is there something on my face?” Spencer asked, nervous when he noticed her glance at him for the 100th time that night.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she panicked lightly, swallowing quickly before looking away.

“What?”

“I don’t know, I just think you’re fascinating,” she whispered because then she didn’t really say it, and it didn’t really count.

“Oh,” he smiled softly, leaving it at that and forcing his attention back on the movie.

After a while, Spencer started to get even closer. He put the bowl on the coffee table and sat back almost on top of her, reaching an arm behind the couch so that Y/N was right against his side. He had done it with Penelope before, confident in this little living room, almost forgetting it was Y/N beside him.

Y/N rested her hand on his knee, rubbing her thumb over his jeans in a soft little circle as she pretended to watch the movie. More concerned with Spencer’s breathing and the feeling of his hand inching towards their shoulder than anything else.

Then they heard keys at the front door. Pulling away from each other quickly to curl up on opposite sides of the couch and pretend they weren’t just cuddling.

“Hey, you still came!” Penelope cheered, a little drunk from whatever she was doing before.

“I’d never miss a night with the Garcia’s,” Spencer smiled at her, looking calm and collected as ever while Y/N turned bright pink.

“Oh, I love Bucky! Oh my god let me go change and I’ll come watch too!”

That was just the first time they ended up cuddling, certainly not the last.

—

It wasn’t often that Penelope was too busy to spend time with Y/N, rather the contrary. Sometimes Y/N had to beg her to leave her be at certain events. Like when their band was playing at any of the local bars and Penny started inviting everyone she knew to come and watch her sister play.

It was embarrassing, to say the least, but Y/N loved her support.

When Y/N peaked her head out to see the crowd before a show, normally Penelope was sitting in the front with a drink and at least 4 friends, cheering and chanting their name, ready to rock out to their covers.

Tonight she didn’t see Penelope at all, she knew she wouldn’t, Penelope was in London visiting Emily with Derek for the second time in the past year, leaving no one to come to the monthly show Y/N’s band put on, or so she thought.

Spencer came all by himself.

He was sitting in the front, at a table with a bowl of pretzels and a ginger ale, not interested in the drinking or the socializing, just there to support Y/N. It made her feel giddy, like a schoolchild seeing their crush at recess.

It was so nice of him that it gave her butterflies, and normally that didn’t happen. They could go on and play a show in front of ten thousand people and feel nothing, but the second Spencer Reid was there to cheer them on, they were a mess.

“What song are we doing first again?” Y/N asked Evie, their lead singer and best friend outside of work.

“Who are they?”

Y/N was taken aback, “What?”

“You’ve never been nervous, who came to see you?” Evie clarified her question.

“No one, for fuck sake, I thought we left all the profilers at home tonight?” she sighed, shaking the nerves out of their body as they jumped up and down lightly.

They paced back and forth for a few minutes to wear down the nerves but only managing to make herself sweat to death and discard the leather jacket she always wore on stage. She walked in a circle aimlessly, remembering the setlist in their mind and how the spotlights typically made it so they couldn’t see the crowd anyway so it’s not like she could fuck up by making eye contact with him.

And it’s not like it was the first time he had seen her play, Spencer comes every month with Penelope, he liked a lot of the music they covered from when he was an emo teen in university. They’ve bonded over it before sharing albums and records back and forth, but she was still scared shitless at the prospect of him caring about her enough to come alone.

Especially when he hated being in situations like this in the first place.

It was their turn to go on, the manager of the bar gathering them and telling them to go on and so Y/N started walking towards the stage door, only to be pulled back harshly by Evie’s cold hands.

“Don’t forget your sticks, god who do you wanna fuck so bad it makes you this stupid?” She placed the drumsticks in Y/N’s hands, “get it together.”

“Sorry, it’s the guy in the sweater vest, front row,” they whispered in response, putting their head down and heading to the stage before she could tease them about it.

“The Forensic Lyricists are here once again folks!” The Manager introduced them to the crown, “get ready for them to dig up some classics!” Always the same dumb joke before every show.

Opening with crushcrushcrush by Paramore, thank god she remembered, it was an easy song to play as they warmed up and pushed the nerves away. They could play it in their sleep, with their eyes closed, and so that's what they did.

Eyes closed, mouthing the words as the adrenaline of the night took over the anxiety and made them go insane, like most nights. They didn’t need drinks or drugs to feel hyped at most shows, all she needed was a smile from penny and a good luck text from Spencer.

Playing by memory until she felt more confident and then getting into it. “They taped over your mouth, Scribbled out the truth with their lies, your little spies…”

“Crush, crush, crush, crush crush two, three, four!!” Y/N sung backup for each chorus, finally getting into it.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again.”

They tried their hardest to push the images of that night on the couch with Spencer out of their mind as they sang along, trying to harmonize and cover the backup for Evie as best as she could.

“Let’s be more than this now!”

She always took the bridge, as the drummer and the most passionate one, it only made sense. Y/N always got the crowd on their feet, roaring along as they jumped to the beat.

“Rock and roll, baby, Don't you know that we're all alone now? I need something to sing about. Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? I need something to sing about! Rock and roll, hey! Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now? Give me something to sing about!”

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, let’s be more than, noOoo!”

She had a crush on Spencer fucking Reid and one now noticed as they tried their hardest to focus on the words when all that came to mind right now was his body heat and how good he smelled and how nice it was that he came to support them.

“Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone! Just the one, two! of us who's counting on! That never happens, I guess I'm dreaming again, Let’s be more than this, more than thiiiiiis, oooooooh, mmmmmmhmmm,” she sang the ending of the song along with Evie, their harmony sounding more perfect than any performance before.

Critics always said the performance is better when you mean the words you’re singing. With that, they accepted their crush on Doctor Spencer Reid after 7 long years of knowing him. They pushed through nerves so that they could go and see him after and do something about it, now that Penelope wasn’t home to tease her for it.

Leading right into Dear Maria, Count Me In. Their bass player, Kat taking the lead for her favourite song. Being an all ‘girl’ punk band was her idea, and now they all enjoyed taking turns singing their favourite songs in front of mostly strangers, once a month.

Every single song made her think of Spencer in some way as she remembered the rest of the set, it had 5 songs in total and each one included at least one reference to something she knew about Spencer.

It was hard to not think about him while he stood at the edge of the stage with everyone and bopped his head along to the beat, a smile growing on his face as he also noticed the little references to them in the songs.

The Rock Show by Blink182 was going to hit a little too close to home as she sang the words all but to him, making eye contact with him as he moved to the best spot to see them play, much like Penelope would do every time.

She didn’t realize how much this song actually represented her life before tonight, starting to sing her song alone while Spencer watched. Deciding on the spot to dedicate it to him in the most fucking obvious way possible, taking her chances because he must have come for a reason.

“Hanging out behind the club on the weekends. Acting stupid, getting drunk with my best friends, I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour, I remember that it's the first time that I saw him there!”

Spencer was smiling then, noticing the lyric change as they made eye contact, nodding along as he watched. Genuinely enjoying himself and the show, it was lovely to see. She couldn’t help but smile against the mic as she sang and played. Wondering how his face will change with the next verse she watched him from the corner of her eye.

Her bandmates turning to see her as they played their guitars, nodding in agreement at the lyric change, they knew what she was up to. It wasn’t the first time they used the stage to bring someone home with them.

“He's getting kicked out of school cause he's failing. I’m kinda nervous, cause I’m sure all his friends hate me! He’s the one, he'll always be there, I took his hand and I’ll make it I swear,

“Because I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town, I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!”

Spencer’s smile was priceless, it made them even more confident to sing all the words, wanting him with zero shame, it’s not like anyone who knew him would know about this.

“When we said we were gonna move to Vegas I remember the look your mother gave us 17 without a purpose or direction We don't owe anyone a fuckin’ explanation”

“Because I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town, I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!” Making the softest eye contact with him, they moved their whole body to play to him.

“Black and white picture of him on my wall, I waited for his call, he always kept me waiting, and if I ever got another chance I'd still ask him to dance, because he kept me waiting!”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show! He said what? and I told him that I didn't know. He's so cool, gonna sneak in through his window. Everything's better when he's around. Can’t wait until my parent goes out of town,”

“I fell in love with the guy at the rock show!” She had never been this passionate while playing this song in all the years they had played it together.

Her bandmates taking the lead singing, “with the guy at the rock show!”

“I’ll never forget you,” she sang in the middle of their chants, “I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget you, I’ll never forget tonight, I’ll never forget tonight…”

She shot a wink at him before turning back in her seat to face the drum set the best way. The last two songs were Evie’s and Kat’s, she covered the backup vocals, making the occasional glance towards Spence as she thought of him.

Counting down the minutes till she could go see him.

Come a little closer by cage the elephant, an obvious title with lyrics that would clearly bring every memory of brushed hands against lower backs as they slipped past each other in crowded rooms, lingering as long as possible before they were gone again. Goodnight hugs when Penelope was already asleep and he could hold her a big longer and tighter, resting his head on her shoulder while she rubbed his back and breathed him in. And that night on the couch, not to mention all the mornings she walked in on him sleeping peacefully, brushing the hair out of his face, softly, in the hopes he didn’t wake up.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see, Come on, come on, come on, Things aren't always what they seem to be… Do you understand the things you been seein' Come on, come on, come on! Do you understand the things that you've been dreaming… Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!”

And even when he did she had a coffee ready for him when he sat up and smiled, giving them a few hours alone before Penelope would wake up. Talking all morning about star trek and dr. Who, smacking his knee as he made jokes that genuinely made them laugh while trying to keep her voice down so they didn’t wake Penelope.

Not many people made her feel like that in her life.

“Come a little closer, then you'll see! Come a little closer, then you'll see!” Staring at him, enticing him to do it the next time they had the chance.

The intro to I’d Do Anything by simple plan was one of her favourites to play, smiling wide as she began to drum as her best friends sang the words.

Waiting for the chorus to sing the words at Spencer, really sending the message, he wasn’t dumb, not in the slightest, he would get it. He had to, she had already been so obvious there was no turning back now.

“This could be the one last chance to make you understand,”

Her arms were starting to hurt as she played along with the most energy she has had in years, playing like a teenager whose parents just died and she needed to hit something, once again. It was freeing, playing with what she could only imagine was love in her chest instead of anger. It’s how she was supposed to play.

"I’d do anything Just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh Cuz somehow I can’t put you in the past I’d do anything Just to fall asleep with you Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won’t forget you,"

Focusing on the drumming and ignoring the lyrics as her bandmates covered the lyrics, letting her go hog fucking wild on the drum set, almost kicking the chair out from under herself as they kept going. Joining for the chorus again before beating the shit out of her drum set.

I close my eyes And all I see is you I close my eyes I try to sleep I can't forget you Na na na And I'd do anything for you Na na na Naaaaaaa

“I’d do anything!” She closed her eyes as she pushes the words past her vocal cords, again and again, passionately playing the drums as her hair flew all over the place, worried she might break the sticks as she played.

“Cause I know I won't forget yoooou!” She plays the end of the song, snapping the left drumstick in half before throwing the right one into the crowd, right into Spencer’s hand, sending him a wink before saying goodbye to the crowd.

Sweaty as hell from playing the drums, they brushed their long black hair back behind their ears and in a low ponytail so it would fit under her motorcycle helmet on the way home. Putting their leather jacket back on and heading into the main bar to find Spencer.

“Hey,” he smiled as she walked towards him, the drumstick now resting in his pocket as he approached her.

“I can’t believe you came here all by yourself?” Y/N laughed slightly before pulling him into a thank-you hug.

“I wouldn’t miss it, I’ve been coming for a year now, it’s always a great time,” his smile was perfect, his teeth were so white and straight and she wondered how they’d feel against her neck.

“It’s been that long?” She pretended that she didn’t notice, biting their lip as he ran the calculations in his mind.

He nodded with a soft, pressed-lipped smile, the Spencer classic. “Yep, it’s been exactly 14 months straight now.”

“I know you don’t like bars and loud noises and people you don’t know, or germs which makes this like a nightmare of yours I guess because of the close proximity of people and the germs being spread as everyone screams in a crowd,” she ranted before he was pulling her into another hug, “so this means a lot to me,” she finished her thought beside his ear for only him to hear.

“Anytime,” he whispered as he held her, his arm on her back and chin resting on her shoulder.

“Did you need a ride home?” She offered, thinking about how nice it would be for him to wrap his arms around their body as he sat behind her on Patsy, her motorcycle.

“Yeah, unless you wanted to go to your place and watch another movie? I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting,” he spoke just loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Yeah, I’d love that, it’s been lonely while Penny’s gone,” a smile erupting on her face as she got the reference, “come on then.”

She took his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers and dragging him backstage towards her locker. She had a space to keep her things for practice and other shows she did during the week, keeping an extra helmet and jacket in the locker for nights like this, however, normally it was a cute stranger. Not the man she’s been crushing on since she was a teenager.

“Oh, you brought Patsy,” Spencer’s face went white.

“Did you not want to ride her? Come on, everyone wants to ride her at least once,” Y/N teased him as she put the helmet in his free hand.

Her bandmates staring at her with proud smiles as she took the guy from the rock show home; the one in the sweater vest from the front, the one who was the most into the whole show, they both gave Y/N a wave and a smile as they slipped out the backstage door.

They walked out to the parking lot, still hand in hand with their helmets in the other. Stopping at her dark purple Suzuki GS650 GT, it was her most prized possession because it used to belong to her parents.

She put her hair in the right spot before putting the helmet on, sitting down and starting the engine, revving it for everyone in the lot to see as Spencer put his helmet on and threw a leg over the seat, nervous as ever.

He fit behind her perfectly, just enough room on the seat for his chest to press against her back as he placed his hands gingerly on her hips. It made her laugh.

“You’re going to want to hold on better than that pretty boy,” she teased him before revving the engine once more, kicking the kickstand up and speeding out of the parking lot.

Spencer gripped her tightly as she took off down the street, taking the longest route possible to her home. She didn’t hit a single red light for at least 5 blocks, zooming through traffic as Spencer squeezed the life out of her.

He felt amazing, his hands were so big as he fully wrapped around her, reaching around completely so his right hand was on her left hip and vice versa. He was so close she could feel his heartbeat against her back.

He was nervous, he flinched every time she turned and held on even tighter somehow.

So she did another lap of the block, around the park’s bend so she could lean the bike as far as possible as Spencer’s fingers dug into her hips fiercely. Breathing deep enough that she could hear him over the engine, but he wanted her to keep going. Not ready to let go of her yet, this is the closest they had ever been to each other.

When she finally pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex, they bumped over the curb and his hand grazed Y/N’s boob, he pulled back so fast it was barely there, she just shook her head and laughed. Parking the bike and putting the kickstand back down.

Spencer let out a sigh, relaxing against her as he rested his chin on her shoulder again.

“Have fun?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” he laughed, his voice deep and dry from breathing with his mouth open, it was cute.

He got off first when his legs were finally able to work again, still vibrating from the rev of the engine he walked like Ariel when she got her legs. It was priceless, no one has reacted like that after getting a ride from them, not even Penelope.

She took her helmet off while still on the bike, shaking her hair out of the ponytail as provocatively as possible before getting off. Spencer’s jaw fell open once more as he watched, breathlessly, just as she expected.

Either he liked them before and never told them, or he was going to start now.

Either way, it excited Y/N to their core, taking his hand once more and leading him inside, this time they could be as close as they wanted to and no one was going to walk in on it. She stopped at her locked apartment door, looking at Spencer as softly as possible so he’d know her feelings were real.

“I know this will cause the teasing we already get to skyrocket, so if you wanted to keep it between us, I fully understand,” she whispered.

“Is that what you want?”

He was so sweet it made her heartache, never before had anyone made her feel like this; like she wasn’t in control of her body or mind, like an override in the system her brain and heart chose Spencer and there was no stopping them.

“I just told a whole bar of people that I’m in love with the guy at the rock show before taking you home in front of everyone,” she laughed, “I don’t care if people know, I just hate when they tease us, they belittle everything we do like we’re 17 forever, it’s not fun for me.”

“I hate it too,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly once more, “I’d like to keep you to myself for a while.”

She cupped his face in her hands and pulled in, pressing her lips against his as they both tried to repress their tightlipped smiles. Finally, finally kissing after all those years staring at each other's lips while they explained something, passionately as ever with the most attentive ears.

“Exactly, me too,” she smiled wider as she pulled back from him, unlocking the front door and pulling him inside for that movie he mentioned.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 (dm me if you want me to remove you)

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any anime you haven't written for that you'd like to write for?

so i had answered this same question a while ago but obv my answer updated soooooooooo lemme give a little rundown of some of the old and something(s) new:

old list!

more ghibli movies! those movies are just so cute so doing and writing some soft fluffy things like the guys from the movies bc theyre just cute.

kakegurui! i would like to maybe do something with characters from this show but im not too sure tbh. it feels generally like a hard series to write for that stays true to the story but ill have to see if still am all that interested in writing for this show.

sword art online! i wanted to write something for the 10 year aniversay (oops) but i totally forgot about it until like 8pm on the day (oops again) but the fact that i only watched the first season is kinda a big limiter for me tbh.

new list!

blue lock! just started this show (im on episode 2 WHAHAHAHAH) and i really like it so far. lots of guys who i can totally imagine having a super supportive s/o who loves to watch them play and worries constantly for their career so maybe when i actually know what the show is about i’ll write for it

chainsaw man! except im only going to write about taking pochita for a walk. highkey lowkey not joking tbh. i “read” most of the manga and seeing the show has given me a greater appreciation for the characters but unironically pochita is still the main reason why i keep going. the little panels and moments of his dumb face is just everything.

the devil is a part timer! THIS WAS MY SHOW BACK IN THE DAY and i always though maou’s basic ass design was cute as fuck. also the girls in here are cute so that might be fun to write about. idk though, just a thought AHAH

but there’s also a lot of shows on my list that im trying to knock out. things like tokyo revengers, demon slayer, tokyo ghoul, bleach, jujutsu kaisen, mob psycho. you know... the works. okay that was a list of a bunch of popular shows that i probably will never remember to watch. but i pick up shows randomly and i decide based on how much i like the characters or the development to see if i write for a series. so dont be surprised christmas time if you see smth new from this list or something completely from left field. or if there’s a new game that i find that i love. then that might make this list too

also anyone has any show reccs, please let me know heheheh (bonus points if there’s some boring ass looking brunette [with or without issues, either way- i can fix him] in the cast somewhere. that’s my weakness.)