#I love him as a villain even if I actually don't think he's very interesting as one
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You asked, I'll answer!
I think the three main rivals to Taylor's kingdom would be Coil, Kaiser, and Lung. In my hypothetical setting, I think Dinah would actually be Taylor's younger sister, and Coil wants a betrothal to Dinah as a way to solidify the bond between their nations and eventually absorb Taylorland. Obviously Taylor doesn't want her sister engaged to That Gross Man so she's stalling to try to find a way out of it while keeping Coil as an ally.
Kaiser's nation is a kingdom of slavers with a good bit of Viking influence, constantly raiding Taylor's shores and harrying her shipping lines.
Lung would either be a dragonborn or a druid whose Wild Shape is totally OP. I think his kingdom would be the newest and most unstable, forged together by force out of a collection of city-states and unconnected tribes. He's currently trying to seize the much better farmland in Taylor's country to help stabilize his rule.
The question would be how (or if) to include the PRT and most of the hero capes. I think it could be kind of interesting if all these rival kingdoms are technically part of an empire, but one that's in its last stage of crumbling decline, leaving its vassal states without necessary funding, infrastructure, or protection. Under that paradigm, the PRT would be the empire's representatives trying to act like there's still a cohesive empire when everyone knows it won't even exist in name within a few years.
This could perhaps lead to a final, Epic level plot in which the Empress (Doctor Mother) makes a deal with some manner of Gods Beyond to reforge her empire—or perhaps the reveal that she made this deal years ago, and has been quietly working in the shadows to fulfill the Path she's been given. Members of Cauldron would fill out her royal court and the Protectorate heroes our PCs have been frenemies with have to now choose sides as Doctor Empress brings some manner of horrifying violence to bear in order to re-conquer the continent.
Other ancillary chatacters:
I think it would be fun to have the Endbringers be 3 different tarrasques set on the land by some kind of ancient curse. Since D&D has healing and other beneficial powers on a much more common basis than Worm, these attacks are less horrific on the whole, but still do a ton of damage. After a tarrasque is "killed" it dissolves onto one of the other planes, only to reform some months later and terrorize another city.
I find the Endbringer expies especially fun because they're a great way to do the same thing in the campaign as happened in Worm: show the main characters that there is a WAY bigger world out there that WILL kill them. I'd have a tarrasque attack discussed ahead of time by NPCs, then somewhere around level 5, it attacks the city the PCs are currently in. I'd have an OOC and very direct talk to the players: you CANNOT kill this thing. If you try to fight it, you will die. It will literally eat you. And then I'd run the attack as a series of skill challenges as the players attempt to save civilians and support the higher level NPCs trying to kill the thing. They'd still get a bucket load of XP from this, and it'll make higher level play even cooler, when they're the ones actually scoring the winning blow.
The Slaughterhouse 9 I'd probably bring in as a roving band of pillagers or maybe mercenaries. They're less of a threat and less of a horror show, but they're tough enemies for the PCs to fight; probably hired by Kaiser or Coil to make things worse for Taylor.
I love Danny so I don't want him dead, but it's also way more interesting if Taylor is the main mover and shaker in her kingdom, so I think he's been cursed by some kind of wandering madness and is kind of like Pelennor in Arthurian myth. PCs maybe interact with him first without knowing who he is and he plays out as a very humanizing tragedy for Taylor, who has mostly been very cold and ruthless till this point.
Other heroes and villains I'd bring in as situations demand, making up the lower level players in various villages, towns, and smaller cities.
That. Got away for me. I should remember to save this for if I ever get to do it, haha.
One of my dearest fondest dreams is to someday run a good long D&D campaign where I just straight up steal all the characters from Worm to make my grand political setting.
Like in my mind, Taylor is the teenage crown princess of a city-state and the most ruthless politicker in the world as she plays her much bigger neighbors off of each other to keep her independence. Armsmaster would be her chief knight who will eventually betray her for personal gain. The Undersiders would be her mini-boss squad of covert operatives. Dragon is a powerful but secretive wizard influencing things from afar.
I'd add in more as I workshop things but I feel like that would be a ton fun.
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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Ep 4 :)
#I LIKE Dostoyevsky. I like how mysterious and unreadable he is. What is his goal!!!! Why does he do what he does!!!!!!! He's very cool#I think knowing his ability now REALLY adds to his character. Him being so smart so manipulative so disruptive in the way he–#seemingly kills people on touch! Only added to this impression of him being “demon” and “inhuman”#But now that we know his ability you realize... That's all his doing; no ability.#His ability in a way does help humanize him by reaffirming that except for the moment he dies– he's got no superpower at all!!!#It's just him.#And yet at the same time also solves the exact opposite role of dehumanizing him because if it's not his ability that makes him like *that*#then he's even different than other ability users!!! Then‚ if not an ability user‚ if not a non ability user: what is //he//?#It's all SO compelling!!! Also makes for an extremely insightful narrative parallel with Dazai#Not an ability user not a non ability user. Not good not evil. (I feel like Dostoyevsky does exceed the definitions of good and evil as–#much as Dazai does. If he causes evil‚ yet does so with the intention of bringing salvation to humans– is he really *simply* evil?)#Both have these borderline superpowers that make them extraordinary beings (we can call it super intelligence‚ but it goes from controlling#their own heartbit to everything else) but are unrelated to their respective abilities! Once again making them neither this or that#I find Karma's words at the end to be extremely insightful.“Ace was evil for sure‚ but this man isn't even evil.#He's a being from the beyond. A being that exceeds human limits.” Like!!! That's all that there is to it!!!!!!#Back to this chapter / episode. There's some themes / worldvies once again I don't agree with but narrative wise I think it's extraordinary#I feel like after the Guild arc the writing really matured a lot and this is a kind of preview of what the doa arc is going to be like#(aka very very well written especially if compared to the previous arcs)#The plot twists of this episode are all so unpredictable and exciting!!! I think it's remarkably witty how it takes advantages of previous–#clichés - villains always revealing details about their own ability in a way that is quite baffling - to actually surprise the audience.#It's so effective. How skillfully unpredictable Dostoyevsky is to the point you can never guess what he will do next!!!#Him killing Karma is... Idk so so soooooooo interesting. I could talk about this forever but I'm being very dispersive in the rable and–#running out of tags. The whole episode you're sorta rooting for Dostoyevsky. He's very cool and comes out charming in the way he keeps–#surprising the audience. He looks bothered by Ace's disregard of other people's lives and that makes him sympathetic too.#But then he kills Karma out of nowhere and it's an “Ah! You fell for his lies too– remember he's nothing but evil. He cares just as little#about life as Ace does”. And then??? Karma in his last words is himself so generous in his words to Dostoyevsky. It's baffling.#And it almost feels like thenarrative is once again turning around and telling you you should root for Dostoyevsky.#It's endlessly fascinating.#I have more to say about the worldviews I don't share and the art style Dostoyevsky was portrayed with this episode (love it!!)#But alas ran out of tags
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#while i was writing this i remembered another fandom where the similar thing happened#i shant say it but the thing is. the writer hated the villain for like obv reasons. because he was a bad person blah blah#but the thing is. for me and other bunch of fans (also the times where dudbro fans agreed here) he was the most interesting character in th#show. i love the main characters with all my heart but i think it's no wonder that sometimes a villain may outshine main characters#and it's actually pretty difficult i would say because most of villains now are shallow and it's difficult to give them an interesting back#tory and aim#but they did it! the fans figured out the backstory and we were so looking forward to seeing it and how his storyline would end because he'#the villain and the villain must be defeated. and since he's a really cool character he deserves an epic ending#but in the ending we got NOTHING#we never got to see his backstory which is very interesting and directly shows why he became like that. so if you didn't read the fans'#theories you just don't understand the whole thing about his character#and his ending is just so disrespectful#the show would even gain more by giving him an epic ending/fight with the main. but the hatred towards him outweighed#2 funny things about it#here's the thing is that the writer hated him because he was a villain who made so many wrong things. he's an awful person#while JohnJoshHayden hate Daniel who is not even a villain. he just happens to be not as cool as johnny#and the 2 thing is that this villain reminds me of silver a lit lol. they have some similar things
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i love sephiroth very much. I also love seeing everyone he's wronged murder him.
#I love him as a villain even if I actually don't think he's very interesting as one#I also adore precanon him and the themes surrounding his descent into villainy#but most of all I want tifa to murder him#aerith and cloud too. and yuffie since he was major in defeating wutai.
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— out of this world (and into another) : genshin impact

premise: you could've sworn the transmigration curse didn't have an effect on you... so what exactly are you doing here?! (alternatively, you tumble straight into your favorite video game; and you're kinda fucked)
...or, a genshin manhwa otome game inspired au.
act i: scaramouche, alhaitham, wriothesley.
↳ act ii: lyney, neuvilette, kazuha, kaeya. (next)
warnings. fem!reader but can be imagined as genderless if u'd like hehe, a shit ton of manhwa tropes in one, this is a hot mess aka not proofread all that much, half clunky half decent writing
a/n: as promised via the poll heh,, while i do plan to make this an actual au, im not that sure ^^; just the tip of the iceberg here tho!!
MAIN MASTERLIST | AU MASTERLIST (coming soon)
YOU — unsuspecting civilian turnt transmigrator
you've always been too attached to fictional characters for your own good.
yes, even the ones that are remarkably irredeemable (the power of a backstory is very formidable) and complex (complexity is a virtue!)
villains have always been destined to die, be cursed, or destined to curse others. it was heartbreaking, really. you've wished for a chance to rewrite their fates for them to find even a sliver of happiness, even when the fate of their plot says otherwise.
which is why when you find yourself awake into the game of your dreams, “Teyvat's Seven Stars”, like any lover of cliche novel and manhwa tropes, this is the time you think that maybe life wasn't so shitty on you.
....there's only one tiny, teensy, itty bitty problem here, actually.
you're not the protagonist. you're not even one of the protagonist's faithful friends and underlings that light protagonist's road to conquering the world and its men (and as of the 4.0 update, it's women); no, you're none of those.
you're a no name extra, and not to mention, a character involved with the game's main villain characters who are coincidentally the love interests of the game's black route!
[ unlock transmigration package: ultimate transmigrator's route ( ????? MODE ) ]
[ no ] [ yes ]
( 国崩 ) SCARAMOUCHE — the tyrant
“as of today, you will be engaged to crown prince kunikuzushi, who is her grace the shogun's rightful heir to the throne.”
when given approval to stare at your so-called soon to be husband, you expect the worst, mostly. the multitudes of character dialogue you've played through detailing his rather discourteous personality (which basically meant he was a huge asshole) don't exactly paint a pretty picture.
however...
who was this tender hearted looking scaramouche that ‘obliterated armies in the blink of an eye?’ the t in tyrant stands for tyrannical, not timid!
eyes like lighting framed by the longest eyelashes you've ever seen and an unfairly pretty face, comparable to a fair lotus. after fawning over his otherworldly countenance, a sinking realization of dread pools in your stomach.
oh, you are so screwed.
essentially tied to the indigo-haired ticking time bomb of a future tyrant due to the strong standing of your family for a period of until the main story starts, you're destined to never get crown prince scaramouche's affection, being his fiancée who scaramouche is arranged to for political means only.
not to mention, you're in an even more deadly position; of all the characters you switched souls with, it's the one that essentially dies by their own fiancé's hand because they were horrible to him! what atrocious luck!
frantic, you wrack up about three ways to survive.
plan a) win over the shogun's favor by being an appropriate partner unlike the original flavor of this body, who resorted to bullying the innocent prince and unknowingly digging their own grave or b) be a guiding friend to scaramouche as he learns the ways of the world and c) make sure you don't end up giving the protagonist a bad ending via his twisted personality.
weighing all these options, you decide to do all three in hopes to cement a life instead of a deathflag. prevention is better than the cure (aka: the protagonist) after all!
(you may also just want to spend time with your favorite character. having a time limit and a sign that says ‘i'll die in the future!’ should at least warrant you extra time to show some affection to scaramouche, at least.)
so, you do what anyone in your position would do: give affection! lots of it.
admittedly, it wasn't all flowers and rainbows. scaramouche—ahem, kunikuzushi—was very shy and reserved indeed, with his mother ei even worse off! (besides, who trains and studies all day and has to stop crying every time they were injured?! that was just too much!)
it was rather hard at first, the frigid atmosphere of the usually silent Tenshukaku Palace almost impossible to permeate. but with your amazing charm (read: deathflag radar) and social skills, you manage to let the members of the Royal family open up to you.
speaking words of praise in ei's cooking (a very difficult feat to accomplish), spending afternoons with your fiancé and teaching him ‘how to be a shoujo worthy male lead, name-version’ (very confusing to explain), and the cherry on top, driving away that vile teacher of his—the Doctor—once word got out that he'd been taking advantage of scaramouche as a political puppet king in the future. trauma enabler destroyed! look at your immeasurable powers!
(“you're not a failure.” clasping kunikuzushi's hands in yours as he reels back from you. damn that doctor.
his tears shot a wave of heartache through you. you can't bear to see your favorite in such suffering. “whatever happens in the future, i won't abandon you.
no matter what, i'll always be on your side, okay?”
kunikuzushi looks at you with something in his eyes—something like adoration. “do you promise that?”
“yeah.” you say without hesitation, the glow of the sunlight hitting your face so dazzlingly that kunikuzushi's eyes widen that his mouth hangs agape in awe. “i promise, kuni.”)
to your greatest delight, your efforts worked in your favor.
ei now spends time with her son, and though it's almost always just a tad bit awkward, you and the guuji yae miko get the two to strike up conversation, and overtime, kunikuzushi becomes more open to you.
(“[name], what kind of man is your type?”
“huh? well...” you think for a while. this was a great opportunity to say it, right? that life changing protagonist quote!
“to me, the only person i'll ever like the most is you, kunikuzushi.”
“do you really, really mean that?” and oh, he looks so cute—flustered and red from your words. worth it.
“yup! now, i made some shimi chazuke, try some—”)
(admittedly, lots of favoritism is involved.)
—and while you reap the fruits of your hard work, you spend warm, sunlit afternoons with ei at tea, even learning about other nations from scaramouche's aunt nahida and even befriended a few of his future affiliates—childe (though for some reason, kunikuzushi always pulls you away from him whenever he spots the two of you together), signora (she tolerates you, you think) and etcetera.
(“then, if i do well, can you kiss me on the cheek, [name]?”
you agree, much to his delight. scaramouche avoids the gaze of a certain pink haired fox eyeing him questionably. unbeknownst to you, he glares at the woman's scrutiny.)
unprecedented things unrelated to the plot happen too; like how your family, which basically only saw you as a political bargaining chip and an unwanted child they could get rid of easily—no longer sent you any demeaning letters demanding money once scaramouche found out....
(“they've been leeching off of you for how long?” so scary... is this was kunikuzushi is like when he's worried?)
(“...kunikuzushi, how long will you keep up that weak-hearted facade of yours? if they find out how.... dishonest you are....”
“i don't need the reminders of a foxy old hag that doesn't know her place. this is fine as it is.”)
(you don't need to know.)
but, you're nothing compared to the inevitable flow of the plot. inazuma is wracked with war, and it just so happened that you'd been unceremoniously kidnapped by a certain resistance leader's trusted general, used as a hostage bargain for approximately the majority of your life. in the worst moments in your dreary cell, there's only one thought in your mind.
....kunikuzushi's face, devastated when he tries to reach for you, before slipping away from him like sand— face morphing into an unbridled state of rage that's too natural, too familiar. when did he learn to make a face like that?
(they say the kingdom was wracked with thunderstorms all night that day.)
afterwards, fate doesn't make it kind for you.
years go by in the blink of an eye, with your capture fervently forgotten in the midst of the growing animosity of the two conflicting forces.
although you did hear that yae sent out a search party for you while at the resistance's base, the shogun's forces never reached you.
eventually, you got released secretly by sympathy of kokomi, the leader of the resistance, who felt pity for you getting caught in the crossfire. letting you go under the condition that you'd likely never meet any of the precious characters you've gotten to know and change was a heavy price to pay, but you didn't have any choice.
indeed, no matter how much you tried to divert the plot, your duty as an extra has ended, and you were even lucky to even be alive. you could only hope that your fiancé—ex-fiancé—took note of your lessons well, bidding farewell to inazuma as you hop on the boat to mondsdat.
by now, you at least hoped that scaramouche and the protagonist met, his true chance at happiness starting now that you were basically dead.
(even if your heart felt like breaking into a million pieces.)
....is what you thought would happen, but why is it that after three years from your supposed capture, inazuma was still at war?
“that crazy prince... he's still working to find his former fiancée... and he's razing almost every village apart looking for them!”
“—didn't the shogunate say that whoever finds her would receive almost 3 million mora?”
“the entire lot of them are lunatics, i tell you. all because of a missing person, too!”
what's more, why was it still going because of you?!
( 艾尔海森 ) AL-HAITHAM: the information guild master
to be fair, normal people don't really run into one of their favorite characters often after transmigrating.
but to be fair, again, you certainly didn't think you'd actually be in your favorite video game franchise caged in bed with essentially one of its main love interests.
eyes wide and unceremoniously looking—definitely not ogling— at the toned body that's currently enveloping you in its arms, the soft tuft of ashy gray hair caressing the crook of your neck, murmuring incoherent mumbles of—is that another language?
???????
you blink, looking down at the bare body currently embracing you. oh. oh.
you're an extra.
you're just an extra, but why are you in bed, currently being served breakfast by the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on, with a pretty view of the rainforests' canopy?
“you should lie down. if i recall, sufficient sleep is required in order for the human body to perform its basic bodily functions. although our partnership is temporary, to let you fall to harm is a situation i'd like to avoid as much as possible.”
“....what?”
“...?”
the guild master, al-haitham, is a character in Teyvat's Seven Stars that is heavily debated on whether he's technically a villain or not. in the game, he's the right hand of sumeru's leader, nahida, working as the overseer of the AKASHA, a guild that gathers information to the nation's leader. he's a pretty shady character—always working behind the scenes and very unfalteringly blunt—and a ‘villain’ for crown prince scaramouche's route, helping the protagonist escape his clutches.
he's often the subject of comedic ire, his banters with a certain broke architect always the highlight of any bonafide al-haitham fan.
“we're expected to work together by lord kusanali's decree in the duration of investigating the hivemind project the lord suspects the baron siraj is partaking in.”
right, that one scene in the game where al-haitham needed to go undercover to infiltrate a coup de etat staged by one of the factions against nahida... right... what.
you were that extra! the one that fell in love with him and pined for his affection!
(“well, i get that part, but does sleeping together really have to play a part in this...?”
al-haitham gives you a mere quirk of the lip, tilting his head. “we do have to play the part of a married couple in dire straights, do we not? this cover is more efficient.
...besides, i don't have anything to complain about. you're certainly better company than kaveh.” )
in truth, al-haitham wasn't bad company. far from it. aside from the internal giggling and fangirling (you) and the incredible stack of books (alhaitham) that you have to see more than the grey haired man on a daily basis, the two of you work out a rapport that stems from memories of the body you transmigrated in.
he's nice to be around, surprisingly considerate when he wants to be—he tells you about the books he always reads....
(who even reads ‘20 Tongues Language Memorization Guidebook: A Basic Overview of Vocabulary and Terms’ for enjoyment?
the content makes your head run in circles because of how complicated it is; but who wouldn't like to listen to an extremely attractive man overexplain to you with a calm and pretty voice?)
...is generous enough to provide meals and cook dinners that have you crying tears of gratitude because you know how awful yours compares (it was either too bland or too seasoned; al-haitham is surprisingly picky when he wants to be)
(you assigned al-haitham the title of “absolute s-tier husband material”— his capabilities are out of this world!)
by chance, you once gave al-haitham a little tidbit of information that proved to be valuable later in the investigation—courtesy of your avid game knowledge—when you two had been lost to the psychological illusion magic cast by siraj when you two finally broke in his estate.
(“whatever happens, if siraj messes with your mind, just make sure to think of me instead of anything else.” al-haitham lets his hand find yours.
“you once asked me if i trusted you, [name].”
“....” you're treated to one of al-haitham's rare smiles, one that warms you up from within. “i do. so don't let yourself get hurt.”)
however, your temporary partner had faltered for once, flinching when siraj took the form of his old grandmother who'd passed to exploit al-haitham's mind, hesitating and frozen in place while siraj inched ever closer to finding out his weakness.
and you couldn't stand it, the character you cared for—the al-haitham that always had a plan, always knew how to stay calm, had looked so unsure and hopeless.
(“wake up, al-haitham!”
with you cradling his face, al-haitham stares back at the only constant in the memories of his grief, eyes meeting yours. “you don't have to do it all alone. i'm right here, aren't i? believe in me.”)
your (fake) husband snaps back to reality, finally allowing enough time to apprehend siraj and put a stop to his malicious project.
(“thank you.” al-haitham tells you solemnly. it hits you that this may be the last time you may ever see him. “i'm grateful that you brought me back to y— to my senses.”
there's a sincerity in your voice that rings from your heart. “anytime, al-haitham.”)
you thought that was the end of it.
defeating siraj meant you two no longer had to associate with each other, but somehow, to your great surprise, al-haitham doesn't stick to the plot at all. you were sure you didn't interfere with the game, though?
for some reason, al-haitham doesn't erase himself from your life, unlike the original route's flow.
in fact, he's become... easy to run into, a constant in your otherwise mundane life. he takes you out to lambad's tavern for an occasional drink, says he's lending you his headphones when you find yourself overwhelmed by the city (you were never good with noises) and even helps you out as you vent your problems to him.
(the day after, said problem conveniently disappears. how strange....)
and most of all, allowing you to enter his personal space... leaving kaveh's jaw dropping when he accuses al-haitham of having a lover.
“you're always going who knows where with them! what else is there to figure out?”
“...we are merely friends.”
“a friend that you let into your personal library? do they know that you still keep the ‘fake’ ring in a box inside the closet?” kaveh laughs. “nice try, al-haitham.”
(after all, kaveh could never unsee the way al-haitham's eyes softened at the feeling of the head on his shoulder lean onto him, with you no doubt asleep. he even took his headphones off! kaveh has never seen him actually take them off in order to keep the person who's sleeping on his shoulder as undisturbed as possible.
in fact, kaveh doesn't think he's ever seen al-haitham be this touchy or considerate with anyone this much before.
.....and most importantly, kaveh would never forget the way al-haitham, a man who found no merit in politeness and preferred bluntness, a man who preferred solitude rather than company—deliberately getting close to someone—pressing a fleeting kiss on the crown of your head.
kaveh blinks. it seems even the throes of love can reach even the most unconquerable of peaks....)
( 莱欧斯利 ) WRIOTHESLEY — the monster duke of the north
“—i need you to gather information on duke wriothesley. serve him undercover as one of the prisoners of the fortress.”
the duke of meropide—a man swamped with terrible rumors. they say he was exiled from the nation due to murdering his entire family. they say he possessed a face worthy of the title of a beast— grotesque, littered in scars. they say that any who end up in his estate, the iron prison of the north, meropide, never saw the light of day again.
(“only criminals of the worst kind are fated to be sentenced there. nobody returns, so we've stopped questioning it...” )
so to say you're not fearing for your life that bad right now is a massive understatement.
“now, mind telling me how you were able to sneak into the most impenetrable prison in all the land, miss prisoner?”
how did it end up like this?
so you wake up and find yourself in jail. lovely.
seriously, of all the places you can transmigrate into, why did it have to be fontaine?! Teyvat's Seven Stars chapter 4's main starting point, the nation of justice is littered with dark themes and high difficulty capture targets.
.... such is the case with the man in front of you. unlike what the rumors of him say, duke wriothesley paints a rugged yet dashing picture of a nobleman, even if he was —if you recall— one of the hardest capture targets to conquer in the game.
a villain character who you played once during one game route, acting as the driving force during one of the love events of one of the protagonist's other love interest, lyney. duke wriothesley almost assassinates lyney's younger brother, freminent, leading lyney to rally up a certain group to bring the nobleman down.... a typical side character villain, who's existence was added as late as 3 patches away from lyney's.
(even inazuma would be better than this! at least the tyrant route could be avoided, and let's not mention the easy sumeru route as well...)
“well, miss prisoner, cat got your tongue?”
in summary: fortunately for you, the body you transmigrated is in the position to spy on the current affairs of the fortress of meropide, with courtesy and with permission of one of Fontaine's leaders, neuvillette. unfortunately for you, it seems our dear monsieur wasn't able to inform wriothesley beforehand, leading to the current situation.
aka, you're pressed dangerously close to wriothesley's chest, with a knife at his throat and his hands pinning you against the wall, noses almost touching. you're not sure if this is even the kind of tension that two people who are trying to kill each other are supposed to have...
(“i'm an ally!” you sputter out. wriothesley raises an eyebrow at you. “monsieur neuvillette sent me.”
“how am i supposed to trust you after i saw you slinking around here, knife at my throat?” he replies, eyes narrowing. “i know that i'm labelled as a beast, but i don't really know what came over that pretty little head of yours when trying to sneak into my chambers.”
what does he take you for?! “...are you accusing me of something indecent?!”
“just saying — i've met lots of prisoners with your excuse, my lady.”
“i'm prepared to use this knife, you know.”
“hah.” wriothesley grins. “how aggressive. more aggressive than most. do you want me that bad?”
“stop twisting my words!”)
in any case, you hate wriothesley. you know he's one of the characters in Teyvat's Seven Stars and is a villain for one of the easy love interest routes in the game, but his personality is... a real piece of work.
you'd rather the protective and kind kazuha, or even the charming and elusive lyney! why did it have to be him?
not only did he not believe you, he even told you to prove your authenticity! you're just glad that his assistant sigewinne had been there to vouch for you — you're not sure if you'd even be on your two feet right now if she didn't.
so now you're stuck constantly on your feet, running to and fro — helping the dark-haired man record new prisoners, establishing trading routes to the main city of Fontaine, and treating other prisoners of the fortress with sigewinne.
your biggest surprise by far, though, is just how... different the duke is from the rumors. his scars were merely battle scars of honor (to which sigewinne rolls her eyes, “your grace, please stop trying to look cool”) he got from various succession fights, not scars to show how he was cursed to turn into a beast. he has a love for tea, but always seems to have a cup of your favorite blend with him when you feel tired after a long day of working (laboring) for him and the estate.
(“your daily report of new convicts, your grace.”
“-this is the tea you like, your grace. i've prepared it in advance.”
“you're very adamant on proving yourself. aren't you sick of such tasks by now, miss prisoner?”
“no.” wriothesley's expression screams 'why not?' on it. “ it's because of my own misjudgement of you.”
“...elaborate.”
“i may have had unnecessary prejudices on your conduct thus far. but you're... not like what the rumors paint you out to be.” you say sincerely. “you're more amazing and incredible than anyone else. i truly do admire you.”
wriothesley's expression; you couldn't decipher it. “i see.”)
he's battered, but caring. sigewinne makes you watch (in horror) as she doodles cartoonish looking characters on his face when he's asleep — wriothesley never fusses, only an exasperated sigh to his assistant. he's harsh with his tasks and duties, but is the first to rush you into sigewinne's infirmary to tend to you after you pass out from overwork.
(“don't worry, [name]. the duke may not look it, but he's very gentle!” sigewinne giggles. humoring the little girl who was the first to show you actual decency in this place, you try to nod. sigewinne doesn't seem convinced.
“i'm serious! after all, compared to other people who've snuck into the fortress, you're the first he's treated this way.” she says cheerily.
“what does that mean?” you can't help but scoff at that. “so he just works someone to the bone from the get go?” you shudder. damn production zone...
sigewinne blinks. “ oh no, not like that. it's just that he's never been so lenient before. in fact, when you fainted, he even gave me the order to prioritize treating you over anything else.”)
well, this wasn't exactly what you thought you would be doing when you transmigrated into your favorite game, but you suppose you can take it.
besides, you'd miss a certain duke otherwise. life truly is full of strange twists....
a/n: thank you for making it this far! if anyone asks why wriothesley's was short, listen, this was completely impulsive and i was out of inspiration LOL, but i do hope you enjoy! look forward to new parts though hehe :3
@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.
#teyvat's seven stars ☆#mhie's spirals#genshin x you#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x y/n#al haitham x you#alhaitham x reader#al haitham x reader#alhaitham x female reader#al haitham x y/n#wriothesley x you#wriothesley x reader#wriothesley x y/n#scaramouche genshin impact#alhaitham genshin#wriothesley genshin
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What do you think about this?
I thought it...
Jason is emotionally adopted by every rogue, villain and enemy of Batman and the BatFam with the exception of the Clown
Like he can just annoy Tim by requesting Ra's to please give him Tim's spleen jar and show it to Tim before giving it back to Ra's.
Each bat kid has one rogue that is connected to them and Jason becomes the favorite of all Robins because... 1 is to be petty and 2 he broke down the enemies defenses and made himself their favorite.
Jason is petty like that.
i actually love this! funnily enough, i think Jason accidentally befriended a few of them even as Robin (an interesting detail: as Robin Jason was very inclined to believe that rogues of Gotham can actually change, while Bruce brushed him off; in one of comics, he really wanted to believe that Penguin had changed their ways, and, of course, he turned out to be wrong, and Bruce explained him that people like him don't change, but isn't it just *so* curious and feels like unintentional foreshadowing? especially, considering that Bruce pushes the "this kid would end up a criminal [or dead] if not for me" from the very beginning of Jason's arc?)
but back to the point, i absolutely love this headcanon. i don't think he will tolerate *all* of them (definitely not Penguin and Crane, I think; Harley, depending on how triggered he is just by Joker association), but the most? for sure. putting my bet that Selina and Pamela might be his favourite, actually.
the funniest part most of them are, like, nerds with PHD. that's exactly a type of people that will welcome his rants about books and law, politics and economy, and— you get it.
and then, there is Ra's. they are very annoying to each other, but they collaborate when they know that their ideas and duo will annoy others. Bruce is getting grey hair every time he knows Jason is at LoA again? Ra's announce that Jason is his grandson as well. Dick is getting a tick because Al Ghul's family is his least favourite family in the world? Jason *accidentally* mixes up chats and sends Dick his selfie with Ra's instead of Talia. bonus points: Dick hates that his chat is somewhere next to Talia, too.
do he also help rogues on occasions when he wants to annoy Bruce? sure.
Batman, trying to catch Selina after she stole something from city hall again:
Jason, calling him in the middle of the chase: Sos, emergency
Batman, pausing: Son? What's wrong?
Jason: I am stuck resolving Riddler's shit, and I really need help with the last one.
Batman: What is it?????
Jason: What cat says when Bat fails again?
Batman: Uh—
Jason, before hanging up dramatically: Don't be mean to your second son.
Batman: Excuse me—
Selina, hopping on a suspiciously familiar bike with a suspiciously familiar vigilante driving it: Muah!
Batman: Shit.
Dick, barging inside the Cave, furious: Had you managed to fight with Jason again?
Bruce: ...How did you know?
Dick: I've spent thirteen hours trying to resolve all Riddler's trials. Some of them were required to quote Jane Austin and fill blanks in Edgar Allan Poe's poems. HOW DO I KNOW?!? GO AND APOLOGISE, YOU STUPUD OLD MAN.
Bruce: ^_^
Red Hood and Riddler on the other side of town: (collective evil giggles)
Tim, sighing, because police asked Red Robin to regulate Poison's Ivy rally in front of CGDP building: Man, it is Sunday...
Tim, squinting at a familiar figure in leather jacket: Jason? What the fuck you are doing here? Are you under Ivy's pollen influence, too?
Jason, holding a big ass poster: Nah, man, just helping my girl Pam
Tim: ...Honestly. Whatever. I'll leave the territory to you.
#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#batman#dcu#dc universe#batfamily#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#ra's al ghul#poison ivy#pamela isley#tim drake#selina kyle#riddler#— lie's rambling
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Can you do a platonic Beast Cookies x reader who is the child of them but is very different from them, having more morals even if they are raised by them?
The Beast's Child
Beasts x Child! reader
Hi guys! Quite busy latelyyy! So I might not write for a lil!
Being the beasts child is definitely something.
Other kids would cower to you when they see you when you don't know why but it is simply your 5 parents.
They would call you things and no one would befriend you.
You were walking around the town you're in. Everyone knows your parents are the beasts and they do NOT treat you as equal.
They treat you as if you're the on responsible for their crimes.
While walking, you were bored.
You saw other children your age playing ball and walked to them to join them.
"Hello! My name's (Y/N)! Can I join you guys and wanna be friends?"
Was what you asked. You asked nicely from what you remember.
But you saw how their faces contorted to one of disgust.
"Ew no you can't!"
One of them yells. They seem to back away from you.
They knew you're their child but they didn't think you were different from them.
"Oh well why not??"
You asked full of curiosity. Curiosity was what they saw in your eyes and still believed you were trying to deceive them.
"You're the beasts child!"
They yelled.
"Beasts can't play with us!"
They yelled again.
This time, unlike the beasts who would go and try to destroy them to crumbs, they were shocked to actually see you running and crying.
Now being the Beast's child is hard and different from being a normal child.
While you were taught evil things by them but also getting taught with basics, the others would think you would have the same intentions as them.
But it is simply what you not want as a child.
Mostly your teacher would mostly be Mystic Flour cookie and Shadow Milk cookie.
And although Mystic Flour cookie does not teach you how to be villain or foul things, Shadow Milk cookie on the other hand would.
As the Beast's child, it is difficult for you to learn in school without getting teased even by the teachers.
And due to that, they forced you to study and learn in home instead.
The beasts would destroy everyone that teases their dearest child.
Creation or not, they would feel protective and love them platonically.
Now this love would include mother/father relationship.
Mystic Flour cookie would actually be a responsible and an actual mother.
Raising you, she would mostly be the one responsible for your needs.
Always giving you want your health needs.
She taught you how to not be a brat like how other people would be when given what they want.
"Now child, this is how you do it"
Is what she would say when teaching you how to do things.
She just knows she did something right by raising you.
She saw how kind you are to other despite staying with the evil forces.
Now Shadow Milk cookie would be the type of dad that would be completely opposite of responsible.
I mean yes he has responsibilities, but don't expect him to do it on the formal way.
He would do it in a jester like way.
Now him being one of your dad's, he would be the type of dad that would help you feel happy again.
He would take you to his shows and show you very amazing stuff.
And along the show, was of course his apprentices Candy Apple cookie and Black Sapphire cookie.
Now they would help you get entertained when you're very bored.
You were walking around, very bored.
Shadow Milk cookie took notice of that.
He was the one babysitting you for now and he saw that bored expression of yours.
So he decided to surprise you by covering your eyes and pulling you to somewhere.
When you were sat down, he took off his hands from your eyes and saw that you're in a circus.
"Now dearest child! Welcome to my show! Ready to get entertained, see things, laugh? You're just in the right place dear child!"
He spoke.
And he saw how your eyes sparkled with interest and watched closely.
You were surely surprised and entertained and he was glad that he was able to please your boredom.
Now being Burning Spice cookie as a father is something.
He would take you to watch him destroy cities.
He would teach you how to destroy.
In fact, he doesn't even know how to take care of a child.
Mystic Flour cookie had to force him since she can be busy sometimes and so as Shadow Milk cookie.
He would sometimes hand you over to Nutmeg Tiger cookie whenever he's too bored and doesn't want to take care of you.
Though he does value you too.
He would protect you greatly. He wouldn't harm you.
If you were harmed, he would find the city where the person harmed you and KABOOM. It's gone.
Don't expect him to be like the other beast cookies you've been with. He is NOT like them.
He would indeed teach you how the ways in the Spice Land or kingdom would be.
And he would eventually teach you how to wield a sword if you didn't.
Him teaching isn't exactly like Mystic Flour cookie or Shadow Milk cookie.
It'd be a mix of joy and destruction.
Joy because he's teaching you and seeing you learn from someone as destructive as him.
And Destruction because he's teaching you how to destroy like how he does. (Cuz he's basically The Great Destroyer in his kingdom)
"Now you child! This is how you do it!!!"
He yelled out loud as he ran to the victim.
Now the victim ran and ran. Screaming but no one helped as everyone knew that even if there's countless numbers of them, they will not be able to defeat him.
He would run and laugh at the same time and you would just watch, holding the sword.
The sword is quite heavy but over time, you got used to it.
When you slained your first one, he was overjoyed.
Though he forced you to do that though. To see if you actually learned from him.
He was so overjoyed that he went to the two other beasts to show you off holding a sword.
But still, you were still the gentle cookie of the beasts.
You were their child but you were very gentle and kind and not destructive like them.
Just because they're evil, doesn't mean their child remains evil.
You're still waiting for your other two parents to be released from the tree. (Eternal Sugar cookie and Silent Salt Cookie)
Hey everyone! I've been very busy lately! So as an apology, I spent an hour thinking and writing this! I hope this is long enough! I might not upload for a few days or so because of school works!
Anyways I love you guys TYSM FOR YOUR SUPPORT!! 🫶 💗 💕
#beast cookies#cookie run fandom#cookie run kingdom#beast cookies x reader#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk crk#burning spice cookie#burning spice crk#burning spice x reader#shadow milk x reader#mystic flour x reader#mystic flour cookie#mystic flour crk#x reader
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Only the masterpieces that survive the fiercest flames earn their place in history.
(Analysis post)

Alright, they absolutely cooked this update. Like, undeniably so. I was admittedly not that huge of a fan of the last 2 beast yeast chapters we got; they had really good ideas, and Mystic Flour is a wonderful character, but... Dark Cacao hasn't really been done enough with for it to feel like it had the amount of weight it could have, and it really doesn't feel like much about him actually changed at all. Combine that with a complete lack of interesting dynamics and you have a lot of very good and genuinely pretty well thought out story concepts with extensive cultural research, executed in a way that feels more like a traditional old-school story that weakens the attachment the audience feels to the components of said story.
Here, though? I have no complaints so far. It was absolutely wild in fact, to the point where I don't think it's gonna happen again (nor am I entirely sure it should ever happen again). This was back to back, non-stop, smack to the face one after the other. The moment the first point of conflict came up, it was just shit happening left and right; even in the mandatory moment of rest where we chill out for a bit, it's revealed that hey, these sandstorms? Yeah the sand is actually ashes. It's the remains of all the people that live here. Whether they died off on their own or were killed by someone else.
And if that wasn't enough, very shortly after;
... It's fucking crack.
So, people die and kill each other here very frequently, and not only are their remains visibly on display, their ashes also become sandstorms that make it near impossible to navigate the land; on top of being something that people snort like cocaine to become more energetic and aggressive.
We started fucking wild, dude. This whole thing is pulling no punches.
Though, I do wanna note; I really, really enjoyed the interactions between Smoked Cheese and Golden Cheese. It shows not only how forgiving she is, but how these two have known each other for an incredibly long time, and know each other well. They're incredibly comfortable around each other, despite it all, and despite how brazen and Very Much Not Strategic the queen here can be. I really, really enjoyed them.
Always fun to see a recovering villain do things for good, but in their own unique way that's still not exactly heroic but definitely effective and, at times, very gratifying.
Though I enjoyed all this, there's one thing I wanna talk about above all else.
The star of the show. Note that every single part was enjoyable, of course, and he wouldn't be half as interesting without Golden Cheese Cookie to serve as a parallel, but they've cooked up something special here.
So far, Burning Spice's extent of onscreen appearance is very, very short, but... I don't think I need to tell you that he's already made an impact and a half.
Christ, that's violent. With the sound effects and everything too, god damn. But, I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a pretty superficial source of judgement for this character. It's very very telling of what kind of person he is now, what he's all about, what he's willing to do, what he likes doing, but...
More than anyone else in recent memory, the devil is in the details. So let's look at those details.
Nothing too much so far, other than how much he absolutely loves destruction, but there's already a trend; namely on "Nothing lasts forever. It's as simple as that", "In the end, everything becomes dust.", and "You, too, shall see that destruction is the only way.". There seems to be an infatuation with the natural process of everything fading away, turning to dust and dying out. An entirely honest one, believing that there is just about nothing else to life. These will be important to keep in mind.
Here, we see a bit of his current relationship with his own immortality. He doesn't seem to mind the idea of losing it, finding something that may eventually take him down, but he still takes great pride in it. These lines, in text, seem somewhat miserable (and trust me, they definitely are), but the voicework in just about every language conveys that they are said in a more neutral, even potentially proudly manner. Again, not much on their own, but...
Here's where we get into the fun part.
This. This is the crux of their character. At the start, him and Golden Cheese cookie were more or less the same. Benevolent royalty, close and personal with their subjects. Beloved, and loving.
And then, they lost it all.
One way or another, their kingdoms were lost, reduced to almost nothing. They were overcome by grief, desperate, unable to cope with their loss. One tried to latch on as hard as possible. Preserve what she could, blindly, replacing the harsh truth of reality with an idealized, constructed world, where no one would ever have to know pain ever again. She shut herself off, and retreated in the safety and peace of a false reality. She would rather have lied to both herself and all her subjects than face reality. And eventually, she had to learn to move on. Let herself and her kingdom heal more naturally, facing reality. The other, meanwhile, was desperate to let go. He detached himself, trying to move past the pain of loss. But, of course, he couldn't force it to happen. No one can. And so with the grief of losing that which he held dear, continuing to be faced with the reality that nothing is forever, over and over, while he endured, the world slowly turning to ash around them again and again... It's no wonder something in there eventually cracked.
What will it take to destroy me. Nothing is forever, and yet, I am.
Nothing is forever. And yet, I am.
With time, misery turned to mania, and in an attempt to overcome their grief, they embraced it, in the worst way possible. A coping mechanism gone horrendously wrong. That destruction, that loss, the inevitability of death... It's not painful, no. It doesn't have to be. It can be thrilling. Exhilarating. A new reason to live. If all you care about turns to dust anyways, if that's really the only logical destination... Why not have some fun with it? Why not embody that inevitable, unstoppable force? Why not become what you fear, so you no longer have to be afraid anymore?
... You know, at least that's what I think is going on here. The next chapter could contradict this reading, but... From what all we have right now, it seems like Golden Cheese and Burning Spice are two completely different paths for the exact same type of pain. They are, in a way, the same, but diverge in almost complete opposite ways where it counts.
Spice is genuinely equal parts absolutely terrifying and absolutely miserable; a balance that is incredibly hard to strike in writing, but always absolutely fascinating and wonderful to observe when it happens. I have to say, the more I found out about them, the more I couldn't keep my eyes off everything they have going on.
I'm loving every little bit of this update. Mad props to the devs for cooking something up here that I am genuinely incredibly invested in, almost to the same degree as White Lily and Dark Enchantress. Banger update. Absolute S tier material.
TL;DR: Burning Spice is terrifying, miserable, and ridiculously cool. Everything about this update was an absolute merciless flurry of consecutive gut-punches. And I loved every second of it.

... Now we sit and wait for Shadow Milk's release next year.
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#jester ramblings#cookie analysis
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i enjoy ur bird abode thoughts! I was a genuine enjoyer of the show when it was airing, I’m no die hard fan though and love to see ppls personal takes on the overall story/plot. Im curious if you also would agree or have any thoughts on the impacts The Mouse’s cancellation had on the shows ability to be more than it was? srry im not super eloquent with my words, but basically ur response to that ask got me wondering if part of the reason the show like genuinely wasnt all that ground breaking or unique in the end plot wise (other than the villain faces consequences in the end ig) as far as YA/Teen animation goes, was because of The Mouse’s inability to let the writers flesh out the show before gutting it? i have a negative bias toward The Mouse franchise and obviously dont know anything about how writing a show under the eyes of a franchise that big would work, its just smth that rattles around in my head and wanna know what u think!
Well to an extent, but I think it's much more the effect the studio had on how the owl house started out as rather than it not getting a full season at the end - It didn't escape my noticed that the show was initially announced as being a "horror comedy" when it doesn't really seem like either, especially by the second season, and yeah, the original pitch bible is obviously aiming for that much more than the show proper is as it goes along (and is honestly seems quite a bit more funny, weird, and dark, with an overarching plotline about a giant bug being used to religiously suppress people, eda able to cure her curse by killing luz, and one of the major characters being a teen boy awoken from a sleeping curse who ends up being a weird little bigot because he's from the 13th century, among other things)
(side note, i just noticed they actually specifically describe the thing i assumed the show was gonna be about here. huh.) but ultimately the bulk of the show that was actually made seems very influenced by a writing team that was genuinely interested in making a tropey YA fantasy story rather than just being mandated to. I mean even in what aired you can see the show sort of settle in ways that feel less like studio interference and more like, you know, art students creating their ideal fantasy show, like how King is clearly Eda's roommate who's funny because he looks like and sounds like a little dog despite being an adult man at the beginning but by the end they've made him her adopted sad backstory son who's explicitly a child. While I think a third season would have made the show as it existed better, because they clearly didn't get to finish the plot they wanted to (frankly to the point where some major aspects of the show are a bit confusing, I'm still not sure what a grimwalker is), I don't really fault the show for that but also don't think that hypothetical season (which pretty clearly would have been mostly about the magic school teens going to normal school) would suddenly flip around into something that I personally found interesting and subversive. Nor should it, really; again, it being Queernorm Harry Potter thing is clearly the intended appeal of the show, it's not really a flaw but just not a genre I'm personally interested in when compared to what I initially expected the show to be.
HOWEVER I will say they robbed little weird girls of their representation and that can't be forgiven
#does this not make sense or sound mean. I'm not trying to sound mean. it's fine. you'll like it if queernorm magic school sounds appealing#which it will to many many people#I think what happened is that they were studio mandated to make some changes that weakened the initial idea#but then the writers#all again tumblr art students#were just as interested if not more in making their own played entirely straight YA magic school thing#probably more than i even grasp as according to a friend who loves the show there's like.#cassandra claire harry potter fanfic references I'm not picking up on#talking tag
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alright, i finally finished Dragon Age the Veilguard.
tldr; 3/10. I didn't like it.
If you enjoyed the game and would rather keep enjoying it, please don't click the read more section as what follows is rather critical.
I can finally sit down with my thoughts and put them together in a more cohesive structured review, touching on most things that I wanted to address. I'll start with positives and then focus on the negatives.
Warning, this is VERY long.
Overall, I had a neutral to negative impression of DatV, which got worse by the end of the game. It had some good moments, but they were entirely unexplored and underutilized, suffering from bad writing. While the game itself is rather pretty, it didn't outweigh the dialogues, the stories and the lore butchering that took place.
1. Environment and visuals. 8/10.
I think Veilguard is a very beautiful game. I enjoyed exploring the corners of this new world, the little bits of environment design and storytelling that it had. It felt magical, certain locations were mesmerizing! I couldn't stop staring at the valley where you go to with Harding, the carcass of a titan.
2. Combat. 9/10.
I love flashy combat, I enjoy hack and slash, so until the very end of the game I was having most fun in combat. Yes there was repetitiveness but I tried to combat (hehe) it with changing my abilities and weapons every now and then. I liked combos and I liked timed parries. Enemy tactics got a bit boring by the end, but a few enemies still surprised me and challenged me.
.... That's where positives end. Now on to the negatives.
1. Characters. 2/10.
I don't understand what happened. Almost all the characters in this game were tuned down to a two-dimensional personality, "good" and "bad" - and absolutely no nuance. This happened not only to the villains, but to the different NPCs and even our companions. Their interests got narrowed down to single points of interest (Lucanis and coffee being a prime example to me), their motivations got watered down.
This is not what I expect from a Bioware game. I want to be challenged, I want to dislike characters or approve of their choices. I like characters who are messy and complex and don't always have their shit together.
I like villains who may have other reasons for their choices, other than "ba ha ha, I am so evil and I will do evil things". Where is Alexius who sold himself to the Elder one, just so he could save his beloved son? Where is Samson, forsaken by the Chantry and turned to red lyrium with his addiction? Where is Calpernia, misguided in her choices, just to free the slaves of Tevinter?
Where are the slaves of Tevinter anyway?? That's another topic.
2. Rook. 4/10.
On one hand, I liked playing Rook. They were stoic but with a humorous side, ready to get the job done, compassionate to other people.
The problem is that it's the only Rook you can really play. The protagonist is set in their ways and their dialogues and there is very little to roleplay. Rook really does feel like a gentle manager, trying to get everyone to play along nicely, while providing therapy every now and then, and is excluded from the majority of friendly interactions with other people. That awkward glance everyone gives you after their banter is embarrassing. The way you can third wheel people, the way the game actively offers you to leave a couple of animated conversations between other people - why even include those? Why not make Rook a part of the 'team'?
I did like Rook's dynamic with Solas. They got to see a different side of him, one that's not presented heavily in Inquisition. But like everything else, it felt surface level and underexplored.
3. Story arc. 2/10.
I am left unsatisfied with the story. The pacing threw me off so much nearly every quest, it was hard to stay on track. From "we need to solve this NOW" to "actually, let's all slow down and deal with our problems", the plot's priorities were all over the place. We kept hearing about the gods and their destructive oppression, but we saw surprisingly little of it. Yes, there was the Blight, yes there were Venatori and the Antaam, but they felt more like a video game fodder and dressing rather than a part of the story.
Not to mention that all of those things made little sense to me. Why would the gods align with aforementioned factions? Why would the aforementioned factions align with the elven gods? In-game explanation was not enough for me, it did not make sense. Not with the established lore in the previous games.
I also did not enjoy the ending. While the idea of Solas binding himself to the Veil is good and does make sense, what was suggested as the good ending (inviting Mythal to deal with Solas essentially) actually left me feeling awful. I sent a man, full of regrets and self-loathing, on a lonely journey to figure himself out. That... did not sit right with me at all. Neither did the fact that Northern Thedas, supposedly the point of the gods' attack, gets to live and flourish, while Southern Thedas is dying of starvation and blight. That is UNHINGED to me.
4. Music. 1/10.
There was no music. I remember one track. It was not memorable whatsoever and I can't believe they hired Hans Zimmer to do exactly nothing. Just wow.
5. Lore. ???/10.
And here is the worst offender. What was done with Dragon Age lore is unacceptable. I was doing a head-in-hands every five minutes. This was a slap in the face of so many fans who enjoyed the three prior games and delved into deep, interesting lore of various races, countries, cultures and religions. Veilguard showed a big middle finger to all that.
Everyone has already touched upon the sanitization of different factions. From the suddenly slaveless Tevinter to found family Antivan Crows, everything has been scrubbed clean and made sweet and palatable and "good".
The Dalish clans have been removed from existence as we know them. The Antaam left the Qun? Don't even get me started on that. The Chantry has no influence in this game? Really? The Chantry? The biggest religion in Thedas? The one that we know has heavy presence in the Anderfels, the Black Divine in Tevinter? That Chantry?
I think it really hit me how disrespectful the game is during the quest of saving the Dalish elves, where apparently Elgar'nan's Venatori, uplifted to be his servants and chosen people, were trying to sacrifice them. It's a gross and oddly telling idea that the ancient Elven god turned to a faction of racist mages to sacrifice elven people. I actually can't believe I'm writing this. Just how much are you going to shaft these people? Mindboggling.
There is a lot more I have to say on this specific topic, and I probably will later, but the idea is this.
6. Romances. 2/10.
Whoever said this is a game with romance lied so hard. So hard. The romance was atrocious. From the badly written flirting to the lack of romantic scenes (I romanced Davrin), to the poorly timed and awkward 'final' romance moment... It was atrocious. I felt no connection between Rook and Davrin beyond what game was telling me. My actual companions got more screen time with their romances than me and my LI.
Damn, even Evka and Antoine, my single most beloved NPCs in this game, had more romance going on that my Rook.
---
All in all, Veilguard was a massive let down. After having enjoyed the first 3 games many times over, with multiple playthroughs, I was so excited to see how the story of the Inquisition, of the elves, would end. When I saw the first trailer for VG, I knew I would never get to see it. When I played the game, I was left with disappointment and disdain.
I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this game, genuinely. I'm sure there's something to find for anyone, but it was not for me. Nor was it for many other people. It was a let down. I feel like I'll never get the conclusion I wanted - so I'll have to write my own I guess.
I have more thoughts on this game that I might be sharing, but for now this is the review I wanted to write. Thanks for reading!
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So we're all just supposed to be fucking grateful that Larian gave us "new Wyll content" (evil ending for a man who is canonically incorruptible, what the fuck) and simultaneously broke him again (giving low approval greetings to a romanced PC, what the fuck).
I... I just... the simultaneous feelings of rage and utter hopelessness are overwhelming.
Listen, if you've read any of my posts you know I have a pretty clear "Don't yuck anyone's yum" policy. If you think an evil Wyll ending is interesting, fine. But here's why it falls flat for me.
First, like I said above, Wyll is canonically incorruptible. It's literally the entire basis of his character. He is a man who was coerced into making an infernal contract to save a city and had to pay a horrible price for doing so, then spent seven fucking years alone in the wilderness doing his damned best to protect the people of the Sword Coast, while all along telling his horrible, abusive patron to just fuck off already.
Now, could you argue that during the events of the game, Wyll develops a taste for evil? Sure. There are plenty of opportunities for his villain origin story to unfold. But they never do. His moral compass never wavers. Turned into a devil? He feels shame, because it's an outward sign that he was doing things for Mizora that were morally wrong, and he didn't see it before. His approval rating for the PC shoots through the roof if you save Karlach, a sure indicator of his true moral compass. His father kidnapped? Fuck that noise, we're gonna save him. Rescue Zariel's "asset"? Ugh, fine, but don't get distracted from the real reason we're here. His father gets tadpoled? Oh hells no, we're gonna take down these assholes and save the godsdamned world. His father accuses him of being an agent of a devil and is super pissy about it? "Everything I did, I did for the people of the Sword Coast."
For fuck's sake, he will leave the party if the PC gets too evil, even knowing it means he'll probably turn into a mindflayer immediately. Even if he's romancing the PC. Unwavering moral compass. So giving him an evil ending without also going back and changing everything about his character just feels like lazy writing to me.
Which brings me to the second reason all of this rubs the wrong way. Wyll deserves so much more content. More romanced greetings, more reactions to other characters' choices, a final boss battle that is actually about him, a default ending that actually makes fucking sense (I have another post cooking about the Avernus ending, so I will leave it for now.)
And please, spare me your "But Wyll was rewritten after early access" bullshit. That's Larian's problem. They chose to listen to feedback and do a late-stage rewrite. They then chose to implement it poorly and never fucking fix it. Other characters, who already have far more content than Wyll, have had even more added over the course of the seven released patches. Wyll, on the other hand, has been sitting around completely ignored until now when we get this evil ending.
Many have rightfully pointed out the inherent racism steeped in all of this. I want Larian to be better. But as Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." I already didn't have much hope about Patch 7 for Wyll, but this... honestly, this is worse than him just being ignored again.
The thing that kills me the most is that this is just going to be more fodder for the fandom to completely mischaracterize Wyll, for those who already haven't bothered to think critically about his character at all to just be like, oh, cool, Wyll is evil now. Nope. You've completely missed the point.
I'm just... so tired. I've worked very hard to put this little bubble of Wyll enthusiasts around me (hi friends I love you all!) so that I can hold on to some shred of sanity in this fandom. The world needs heroes of color. Just let Wyll be the hero in peace.
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honestly i think it's a little redundant to write any think pieces on what jean's endgame ship will be. it's going to be jerejean whether you like it or not. that's the story nora is writing. she said it herself when she announced it. this story is a love story but it's also a story about jean and his journey to recovery (and just because jeremy is the future love interest that doesn't diminish the importance kevin has on jean's life either. jean's feelings for kevin are very much still there but so is the betrayal and hurt of him leaving him in the nest. it's a very convoluted relationship of which we still don't know much about. only what jean has told us, so far. as the man who believes his feelings have not been reciprocated to the same degree, mind you. like, we still have two more books to go, one with more scenes with kevin in them where we will learn more.).
as for jeremy...lmao. have we not been talking about how little we know of him since the book dropped? and now all of a sudden people are claiming to know everything about him and decided he's no good? based on one book? and for some reason because he isn't handling his new traumatised teammate perfectly like a professional with a psychology degree he's somehow not right for jean? since when has anyone in this universe been perfect? or dealt with trauma professionally and perfectly?
do i think it's right that jeremy crossed some boundaries to get some answers about jean's past? no. do i think it's right that he overshared jean's truths to his friends without his permission? fuck no. but we're dealing with a whole different group of people here, most of which have not been traumatised to the level the foxes had been. who are not used to dealing with people like jean. jeremy has his own issues yet to be revealed, he clearly has problems standing up to his family (as seen with his sister), though he has no issue captaining his team (as seen with lucas) and it's suspect that he also doesn't think himself to be as great of a person as everyone else does given the sad look on his face when jean tells him he could never be anyone's villain. so idk why anyone thinks they know anything about him when he's so cagey in his own pov. and nowhere in that, may i add, has he ever implied he wants to "fix" jean. he wants to help him. he wants to give him reasons to enjoy his life now that he can i.e making him take that silly ceramics class for Fun. and given jean has had his whole life centred around exy (which he doesn't even enjoy anymore) i think it's actually very smart and helpful to get him doing things that "don't matter" so that he can learn from it and learn that he can actually live outside exy. that he can make mistakes and be imperfect at something and that's Okay.
at this moment in time in canon, kevin doesn't have that kind of mindset and it's probably because he was allowed the freedom to already pursue an interest outside of exy - his love of history. like are we missing the detail that he begged tetsuji to let him take that as his major and he actually allowed it? kevin, though still has a long way to go, still has something outside of exy he can hold onto and switch off from. jean doesn't have that and jeremy just so happens to come along and give him the option and for some reason that seems to get ignored. i think it's actually one of the most important things about their relationship so far. jeremy still makes all the accommodations jean needs - setting him up with class partners, taking him for a run when he needs to get out of his head, buying a bed to sleep in the room with him. but he also pushes back and insists jean try something to break him out of his unhealthy relationship with exy.
also, hello, jean literally admits to himself it's a Lie when he tells jeremy he doesn't want him to look if it's too much for him to deal with when jean is attacked by grayson. and jeremy refuses to look away. something everyone around jean has done since he was born, probably.
"Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it..."
jean appreciates when jeremy is so very obviously attracted to jean and openly staring, but doesn't press and removes himself from the situation if he thinks he may come on too strong.
"Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth. He needed to see the easy way Jeremy ceded Jean’s space to him. Jean couldn’t remember the last time someone allowed him any boundaries, and the feeling was as novel as it was addicting."
hello???? that is literally jean himself telling us jeremy just allowed him a boundary. how does that get looked over?
also he's content enough with jeremy in his space that he feels safe enough to almost drift off
"In the quiet he could hear Jeremy breathing, and it was almost as comforting as the heat of another body this close to his. It thawed the parts of him the sun hadn’t reached despite soaking up its glare all day. Jean closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift far away. [...] This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could."
mind you right after this jeremy presses that jean should have his own space and jean insists jeremy share with him and get his own bed. and let's not forget the obvious flirting that has jeremy immediately backtracking and telling jean to let him know if he ever makes him uncomfortable.
ALSO THIS
“Stop asking,” Jean said. “You only think you want these answers.”
jean may find it annoying and unfavourable that jeremy keeps pressing but idk i infer this to be more of jean not knowing how to handle someone actually giving a fuck about what was done to him when he was so used to everyone turning a blind eye.
finally (bc this is getting long) jeremy pushes himself into jean's space when he hugs him, and jean doesn't hug him back but he doesn't push him away either and jeremy is the one who has to wait for jean to let go of his shirt so he can move away.
"Jeremy heard the dismissal in it, but he waited for Jean to let go of his shirt before leaving the room."
i have made a post about this before but jean craves attention and affection, he wants to be loved and to be frank he fucking deserves it more than anyone else does.
i'll finish the post with one last line from jeremy's pov...
"...it wasn't his place to interfere with Jean's trauma or his healing."
jeremy isn't perfect, he's not meant to be.
#i actually think the push and shove dynamic he has with jean is what jean needs#anyway#just my two cents bc idk why everyone is being so doubtful all of a sudden#i also think nora knows what she's doing with the story she wants to tell#lets have a little more faith in her#jean moreau#jeremy knox#kevin day#jerejean#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg#the golden raven#tgr
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I will say, at the end of the day, I am very fond of Illario Dellamorte, despite it all. Yes, he managed to make every single POSSIBLE bad decision one can make, then figured out how to make a few more that nobody else would've thought possible. Yes, he was increasingly sloppy and incredibly stupid about it all. Yes, a lot of his frustration and rage is incredibly misdirected. Yes, I said before the game came out that I support him having a villain era, and I still do because it's fun and I love mess and drama—as much as he stresses me out and makes me want to strangle him because Jesus Fucking Christ.
Still, I think I like the idea of forgiving him. For me, there's something interesting in how he doesn't kill Caterina, in how he didn't ask for what happened to Lucanis and seems genuinely angry—wrong as he is to direct it at Lucanis—that the control that Lucanis so highly prized was taken from him rather than dying at his best, in how he can engineer Lucanis's death but experience a grief that still feels harrowingly genuine at the wake, in how he clearly is grasping at any possible advantage and is carelessly choosing his allies not because he believes in their goals or ideals but because he's desperately power-hungry and ambitious and no more. In how, if he is forgiven, Lucanis is impressed he almost got away with it, in how Illario goes to help the Crows in Minrathous in that last gambit.
He's a mess, and he's selfish and ambitious and vicious and contradictory. But, I have a soft spot for characters like him and relationships like his and Lucanis's, y'know? Forgiving him and forcing him to work out his life after he's burned nearly every bridge he has is just really interesting to me, especially given how Lucanis is still full of hope and affection for him alongside the hurt. How do you rebuild after all that, you don't even have the devil-may-care breezy mask anymore because everyone knows better now. Figure out where he fits now in his cousin's life, because I do think—at the end of the day—the affection and relief is still there from both sides, under it all. Deeply buried possibly, for Illario, but there.
I think there's enough pieces here to suggest that he and Lucanis have a chance to actually figure it out, and to suggest that Illario might actually get his shit together and be willing to given opportunity, time, and patience. It's also a messy choice (and a huge risk), but I do personally like the idea of forgiving him. I like the messy, insane, dramatic narrative of it. He has potential, as Lucanis himself notes. I would love to see if he can rise to it, now that he's gotten all of this out of his system.
Or, at least forgive him because there's something funny about that and I want to see what else he does if given the chance. It'll probably also be a mess, but I'd love to see what messes he gets up to when he's not plotting against the person closest to him in the world. It'll be fun! But, sincerely, I do think he can get his shit together, and I hope and believe he wants to. It's the more interesting and fun story to me, for both him and Lucanis, personally speaking.
#I have no sense of what the fandom at large's thoughts on him are but *I* like him and I like the mess and I want to forgive him.#I just wanted to write something thinking about it bc I talk about him a lot in DMs and had thoughts#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#bc it's also a little about him since I think forgiving Illario is more interesting for him personally#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#DATV things#Veilguard
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Something I found surprising when revisiting the prequel trilogy is how much the clones aren't full characters in the movies. They're props. They're devices. The films give them the same weight and attention as they give the Separatist droids, really. The only two clone troopers I can easily name off the top of my head who get "named" in any way are Oddball and Cody, who are both just barely in "Revenge of the Sith", and interchangeable in their roles with any other background clone.
It's interesting when held up against "The Clone Wars" and other extension material, which had the time and inclination to say more directly, "Hey, these are people and what's happening to them is wrong." Like, obviously what's happening in Ep2&3 is wrong, the audience can draw that conclusion on their own, growing people as cannon fodder is a clear part of the greater tragedy if you take about five seconds to think about the situation here. Even without the element of the entire war being constructed and controlled by the main villain, the clones are a tragedy.
But, oh man, the movies themselves don't really care to focus on that. It's SUCH a background element. I had a "oh, yeah, Order 66 being programmed into a control chip was a later addition to / clarification of canon" moment while watching, because as far as Ep3 actually shows us (as was the initial intention by some, I know), Cody apparently knew the entire time that he might be called to fire on Obi-Wan Kenobi and was just waiting on the call. The "homogenous evil army" trope is... very much present and even more identical than usual here.
By the films alone, you can easily assume that the clone troopers have no love for any of the Jedi (whom we're meant to believe are relatively decent people) for a variety of reasons. Their upbringing and training on Kamino was presumably cold and brutal. They're (possibly enslaved) soldiers in an even more brutal war. This army is offered no development or individuality that makes the appalling Jedi Temple massacre out of character for any of them.
But when the various Clone Wars shows first turned the clones into individual characters and even protagonists, many of whom are shown to be good people and become friendly with the Jedi through years of teamwork in life-or-death situations, Order 66 became weird. "Wait, why would the majority of clones (all the clones we see in the movies, at least) just go along with this? What went wrong here?"
I get why TCW and SW canon settled on the control chips option and I find it interesting enough. The tragedy of it all makes me want to lie facedown on the floor. Darth Sidious is really winning at sheer evilness here.
On the other hand, there are some really fun and interesting "Order 66 was taught, not programmed" AUs to revisit here. Especially when some of the other (Legends canon now) contingency orders include what to do if the Supreme Chancellor is incapacitated or declared unfit, or even getting rid of the Supreme Chancellor and assuming control by lethal force if necessary. Presumably these orders existed as a back-up in case Palpatine wasn't elected to the seat in time for the war or didn't manage to get rid of term limits and was replaced as Chancellor at any point.
That really sounds like Palpatine's evil army of ruthless Jedi-Killers (unchipped) could have easily backfired on him if they'd ever decided all of these non-clones were unfit and organized to take power for themselves. I love any scenario where Palpatine's arrogant and overly complicated plans get him in trouble. The "homogenous evil army" often gets treated as a mindless mob, but while the clones may have some degree of emotional suppression, they're clearly very capable and not unintelligent, and they're not given many (if any) reasons to be loyal to the Republic. And it is FUNNY to imagine any Dark Lord's created army deciding that he fucking sucks at war (there's obviously a leak, why the FUCK are they losing so much ground to fucking droids) and they're overthrowing him for better benefits, so that they can create and run a more efficient Evil Empire themselves.
You could make this angsty as hell or a comedy, or both. I'm imagining the clones at the eleventh hour murdering Chancellor Palpatine with such brutal efficiency that it feels like its own kind of prejudice. And he gets revealed as a Sith Lord in the process (this was taken into account as a potential problem when planning the assassination), so there's an initial moment of: "I can't believe it! He was the Sith Lord in the Senate all along! How did you know?"
Cody: "Didn't."
Obi-Wan: "...Pardon?"
Cody: "This is a coup, sir."
Like, if we're going by what's shown in the movies alone, there's a clear Emperor Cody AU to be had here. Which can be played as a temporary (years long) measure to reinstall a Republic with proper checks and balances, while a bemused Jedi Order and Senate are held hostage, or the First Galactic Empire is established as per canon just with the clones running it and reaping the benefits. I'm currently enjoying thinking about the latter scenario as a dark comedy, in which Future Emperor Cody (or the clone of your choice) has to negotiate in his spare time with the various demands of his fellow clones. (Who are, let us remember due to the horror that is the accelerated aging, a bunch of teenagers at the oldest here.)
Rex: "I want Tatooine."
Cody: "The whole planet?"
Rex: "Yeah."
Cody: "It's a shithole."
Rex: "Yeah, but it'll make Skywalker so kriffing mad, so I'm calling dibs."
Cody: "Noted."
And if you want to write shipfic, there's always the AU of various Evil Army Clones meeting their love interest and then going, "Not evil anymore! Sorry, guys." Which could be angsty or another dark-ish comedy.
Cody @ the clone commander group chat: "WE'RE NOT GIVING UP ON THE 3-YEAR IMPERIAL COUP PLAN JUST BECAUSE YOU HORNY ASSHOLES WANT TO FUCK JEDI!!! STOP TALKING ABOUT THE POWER OF LOVE!!! STOP IT!!!"
#tossawary star wars#fic ideas#commander cody#captain rex#spoilers#character death#palpatine#emperor cody au
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Can I ask why you like Fernando? Is it the chaos?
you can't deny that the chaos is entertaining lol. some of it is that 2006 was the first year of f1 that i watched live, and fernando was both the reigning world champion and that year's champion, and it was through watching him that i really fell in love with the sport (i had watched some of the older seasons but there's something different about watching it live imo). i also met him that year and he was very nice to me so i can't deny that's a part of it. but mostly i find him fascinating.
fernando is such a contradiction. he is incredibly open about the fact that he is actually incredibly private. for as long as he's raced, he's been open about the fact that who he is on the track and in front of the camera, camp and evil and scheming etc., is not who he is in private. and everyone who's close to him, pedro de la rosa, carlos sainz (both of them), mark webber, they all say that outside of f1 fernando is completely different to the personality you see on track. he's quiet and a bit shy, nothing like the shakespearean villain he is for the cameras.
he keeps his two lives incredibly separate. his family rarely come to races (although that might be because he's superstitious and has said that they brought him bad luck) but he's incredibly close to them outside of work. for all the bridges he's burned and relationships he's damaged in his professional life, he's able to maintain good relationships in his personal life. some of his friends from when he was a child are still close friends with him now. he's on good terms with most of his exes, even his ex-wife (and he actually dates women his own age which is nice).
there's a clip of him from the last season of dts, where he says that in racing, in f1, there are good guys and bad guys, and he is on the dark side, and i think that's one of the things that makes fernando so interesting. he understands the genre. one of the fundamental facets of the theatre and acting in general is the suspension of belief. when you go to see a play or a musical or a film you accept the terms of that universe. in the theatre it's fine that people break into song to express themselves, even though it would be insane to do that in real life. you accept that those four people moving a puppet are a lion or a tiger or a dragon. that wicker basket that was a wardrobe? it's a carriage now, or a seat on a train. and you accept it because that's part of the genre.
fernando alonso is a piece of theatre and fernando is character, actor and director all at once. he understands that it is a performance, and that if you perform well enough, if you are engaging enough, funny enough, talented enough, you don't have to be the hero. you can be ruthless and cruel and manipulative, you can cheat and lie and then lie about cheating, but if you have the audience on side, you can get away with anything. everyone loves a good villain after all.
and i think that understanding is why fernando does what he does. he doesn't think anything of blackmailing and psychologically torturing his boss and then showing up at mclaren again less than a decade later because to him it's part of the show. and because he's as talented as he is people beg him to do just that.
he is a fiction and yet completely real. he lies all the time, but is so honest about the fact that he lies. there is no one else like him
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