#I love doing multi media stuff and this turned out fantastic

[scull-dog]

@thexmasfileschallenge Day 6- Snow globe

Late on Christmas eve 1996, Mulder showed up to Scully’s apartment unannounced, covered in snow, and poorly hiding a wrapped box behind his back. She invited him in and offered to let him stay and warm up a little, already heading to the kitchen to give him some hot chocolate. He dismissed her explaining that he was heading up to Massachusetts first thing in the morning. 

After a beat of silence, Mulder nodded to the gift, now placed on the counter next to her.

She smiled, turning to untie the bow and rip at the shiny paper. “It’s heavy,” she noticed.She glanced up at Mulder in an attempt to reveal some sort of clue.

Mulder stepped forward to assist Scully, who was now struggling to get the object unstuck from the box. “Yeah,” he joked, “I got you a new weight set.”

Scully returned her own incredulous smile, letting Mulder unwrap her gift. When he held out a large bundle of tissue paper, Scully ripped away the last few layers of packaging. It was then that she could see a tiny landscape surrounded in flurries of sparkling white snow. “Oh, Mulder!” she gasped, bending to get a closer look.

“I remembered what you said about your grandmother’s snow globe collection, and I know it’s kind of cheesy and it might not be-”

“Mulder, it’s perfect,” she beamed, moving her hands under Mulder’s, finally feeling the full weight of the decoration. 

“Merry Christmas, Scully.”

“Merry Christmas, Mulder.”

I absolutely love how this piece turned out. I got the idea after I made some glitter tinsel in yesterday's drawing, but I wasn’t sure if it would work liked I hoped it would. It absolutely did, and I think it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever made.

[likeawildthing]

Not to be morbid on main, but everyone dies and people are rarely prepared for it. It’s so much easier when you know your loved one’s wishes. So even if you’re a teenager or twenty-three and healthy, I hope this helps you start thinking about end-of-life wishes, because it can happen to us all (both the dying and, rudely, being died upon).

Cremations are an affordable way to subvert the funeral industry, but going this route puts the burden of “the little things” on the family. I’ve learned a lot in the last 36 hours and wanted to pass those things that weren’t on any checklists, because the burden is on you to navigate the process.

Putting this under a cut because it’s so long (although not comprehensive). Obviously some of this is altered because COVID and some is meant to be applicable in some distant, theoretical future when we can go out to lunch again.

Before you die

Think about it, talk about it, write it down

Think about what kind of rememberance you want, if any. If it doesn’t matter, tell people that so they don’t fret about it and grieve in whatever way works best for them.

Communicate now to save your family and friends angst later.

Build an “in case of death” binder, zip drive, google doc with links, etc. Make sure your passwords are up to date so that’s not an administrative nightmare for your loved ones.

Advanced directives. Here’s a great article explaining the types of medical advanced directives and decisions to make before an accident or illness happens, including whether you want to donate your organs.

We lost grandma for about twenty minutes yesteday because we couldn’t find the paperwork and grandpa couldn’t remember where they signed up for services. Death. Binder. Have a death binder/folder/zip drive so no one loses grandma.

Insurance. 

You likely have insurance through work, so consider that. It will also expire if you leave your job.

You can usually get, with minimal fuss, a 10- or 20-year term policy with enough to cover your arrangements and debts for less than $20 a month. Death expenses are anywhere from $5-$20k, conservatively. 

Talk to your auto insurance agent and score a multi-line discount.

Body snatchers. 

If you want to be cremated, talk to a local crematory beforehand and give them your basic information. It can be paid out of your estate (i.e. by your family or a life insurance policy) when it happens. 

Most funeral homes (I believe) require pre-payment. It’s super morbid but there are TONS of heavily discounted grave sites for sale on Craigslist if that’s the route you want to go. 

Here’s a list of certified green burial sites in the US.

Donating your body to science 101.

Memorial service. 

The idea of a “proper” funeral is more or less out the window, especially in the time of COVID. Celebration of life? Religious ceremony (or not)? A picnic at your favorite park? Anything goes, so figure it out now. 

When my sister-in-law died, we had a celebration of life at a non-profit who donated the space and had a poker tournament with her ash tin (she lost). 

Whether you have strong or no preferences, write that down to guide decision-making. 

Memorials. 

Traditionally people would donate money in the event of a death to a charity, foundation, or family account, or flowers to a funeral home or church.

 Family accounts (like for children) are traditionally done in care of the deceased’s bank but online fundraisers are a thing. 

If you have a particular charity you love, add this to your list of wishes.

Food. 

Before COVID it was pretty typical for there to be some kind of meal after a funeral. Will this be a restaurant? 

This is ultimately up to the family but if you have strong preferences (i.e. no church or Italian food), tell people now.

Obituary. 

Writing down the basic facts of your life, hobbies, and accomplishments you want included in your obituary means your family doesn’t have to do a guessing game. 

Plants, animals, stuff, etc.

Do you want your clothes to go to a specific charity? 

Do you NOT want your stuff to go to a specific charity? (Goodwill is terrible!)

Who will get your car (person, donate, sell)? Want to have your record collection to go one sister? Obviously family will divvy up stuff how they like, but write down any special considerations.

Have a plan for your pets (insurance, vet info, guardianship).

Please organize and digitize your photos if they aren’t already.

If you lose someone close:

Identify the primary griever

Support that person/those people by providing feedback when solicited, running errands as needed, and running interference so they aren’t inundated with all the little things.

Notifying people

Use the phone tree method. Great Aunt M will be happy to help by calling your cousins. Your boss, coworkers and HR. Your mom’s best friend/your adoptive aunt, your mom’s bunco group. 

Ask that family not put anything on social media until the principal people are informed. I found out my grandpa died on facebook!

Esp these days, set boundaries for visits (who, where, and in what capacity).

Designate one person to be the primary contact for extended family to keep the burden off the primary griever(s). 

Give this persons’ information when the first phone calls are made. It also makes sense for this person to be the travel coordinator. 

This person should have a good handle on family dynamics (i.e. my aunt is flying in and would drive my grandma nuts so she’s staying with Mom). 

This should be their only task because it’s time consuming.

Food

When people die, people gather, even in the time of COVID. Be responsible but expect a ton of drop by food. Clean out the primary griever’s fridge in anticipaton.

Organization

Start a shared family Google doc or sheet. Consolidate to do lists, anecdotes, important contact information, questions and inquiries, etc. 

Pay to have the houses of anyone hosting (gatherings, people coming in from out of town, etc.) cleaned. Or, delegate. This can be an act of service for someone who wants to help and doesn’t mind doing the work. 

Find the death binder (hopefully), legal documentation, etc. Get a folder or binder for papers if one doesn’t exist. And start a shared google doc for loved ones to track everything.

Delegate

I know I have said this three times, but it’s important. If you’re a primary decision maker do not be the primary do-er. My mom is the primary decision maker so my sisters and I are doing literally everything else. 

Say YES when people ask if they can help you. Look at your running list of to-dos and say yes.

Pay to have the houses of people who are hosting cleaned. It will seriously be such a life saver, or this can be an act of service for someone who wants to help.

Social media

You will need to decide what to do with a person’s social media. Do you start a tribute page? Turn their facebook (if they’re old) into a tribute page for a time? Indefinitely? Things to think about. 

Thank yous

Keep a running list of people to thank after via hand-written thank you notes. The link includes guidelines on 

who should receive a thank you note (gave flowers, brought food, made donations, helped with arrangements or the service(s), did readings, or went well out of their way to warm your heart or show up)

when to send them (ideally 2-3 weeks after the funeral)

here’s how to write them (it doesn’t matter if you buy fancy, ones or dollar store ones, make sure they’re hand written).

Receipts. 

Don’t be the petty biatch your cousins hate, but do save significant receipts to be reimbursed by the estate. (I.e. catering hundreds of dollars of food, paying $250 for programs and thank-you cards like I just did, etc.)

Service.

You will have a million decisions to make including

what kind of service to hold, if any

where to hold it

costs

hymns, readings, and anecdotes to share

who will be pall bearers, readers, vocalists, and give eulogies

Crematories handle cremation only, not the service details. 

you will need photo boards (Hobby Lobby has nice black foamcore ones) or a powerpoint (and a way to display it depending on the venue)

a guest or memorial book

a card basket,

memorial cards, possibly programs, and thank you cards 

Officiants, musicians, religious institutions, etc. all need to be paid (and tipped) for their time.

If we ever wrangle this pandemic, donating funeral flowers to a nursing homes is a fantastic way to brighten residents’ days. 

Obituary.

Obituaries are expected, but traditionally costly ($200-$800). As part of the publishing fee, most newspapers keep the obituary on legacy.com indefinitely.

A funeral home will assist you with this, but the burden will be on you and your loved ones if using other methods. 

These take hours to write and many hands does not make light work. Keep it to 2-4 key people. Having the facts laid out will help, and so will looking at other obituaries. I read a great tip which was to write about your loved one in present tense first, then change the tense before submission. 

Newspapers will update your spelling and grammar but that’s about it. Cheaper alternatives: 

Death notice which gives age, date and location of death, and who is handling funeral arrangements. Our crematory put in the death notice for us because they had her body, but the requirements on this likely vary state-to-state. 

Here is a place to put a free online obituary.

Plants, animals, stuff, etc. 

Save the plants and pets. 

Household misc. are usually not dictated by the will, except in special circumstances or contested items. Closest members will go through possessions first. Voice early if you want something in particular, but understand that you may not get it. That’s ok. 

Going through someone’s life is an overwhelming process. You may be repulsed and sad and overwhelmed and amused, all at the same time.  

In deciding what to keep, as I’ve now cleared out three houses, I’ve found that quality over quantity is the way to go. The sweet spot? 1-2 sentimental + useful things. My great grandmother’s thimble and juicer? Use them all the time, and I remember her lemonade. 

It’s okay to throw away some keepsakes and let things get thrown out or donated, depending on the thing. 

Don’t give into guilt if you don’t want the china your Aunt Karen is pressuring you into taking when she doesn’t want it either.

Legal stuff. 

If someone dies, there will be all kinds of legal things you will need to do (bank accounts, utilities, debtors, education, etc.), investments or 401k, etc. 

This varies too much by state and circumstance to talk about in depth but there are guides to specifically help you.

If someone you love has lost someone they love

Do not give platitudes or ask if they’re ok

Don’t expect a response from someone grieving

Do send a card! It’s so thoughtful. I keep a stack of blank condolence cards and a set of forever stamps in my closet. It doesn’t have to be a $20 card to be special.

Don’t judge someone by how they grieve

Offer specific, actionable help if you’re close enough to give it

I am going to come over and clean at 10, leave the house unlocked

I’m at the store and am going to buy cheap vodka unless you tell me what kind of wine you want

oops I got you an uber eats gift card in your gmail sorry/not sorry

Buy thank you cards with stamps as a condolence gift, depending on the person and situation

Send a plant instead of a bouquet of flowers

Make a donation in the loved one’s name if you have the funds

If the grieving person is someone super close (best friend, sister, etc.) add the date in your recurring calender so you can check up on them this day next year with a card and/or phone call

[algernoninwonderland]

If you can’t follow through with some of your creative choices, maybe make other choices to begin with. If Miraculous can’t follow through with its lead character being French-Chinese, maybe they shouldn’t have written her to be French-Chinese in the first place and people wouldn’t be rightfully complaining nearly as much now

As far as I’m aware, nobody forced the people making Miraculous to have their main character be a French-Chinese kid. The moment they made that creative choice, they found themselves with a creative challenge: writing a show with a mixed-race kid living in France in the 2010s as its lead, something that is still super rare in most French mainstream media. 

It could have been really great, progressive, even. 

Now, how do you follow through with that creative choice? How do you make sure you don’t fumble the bag when this is a key aspect of the character? 

How about you hire people who know their stuff, who can maybe even draw from their own lived experiences? Or if you don’t want to have them be part of the creative team for whatever reason, maybe have them be part of an easy-to-reach consulting team? Or, in the worst of cases, you do your best and hope to get it right by working you butt off, you do the reading and the researching yourself and hope that this is enough.

But Miraculous, as a production, hasn’t put a lot of effort into doing any of these things seriously. Well, that’s not entirely they had consulting folks for all the non-contemporary Chinese iconography, some writers went to China a couple of times it would seem. Is that sufficient? I think not. This isn’t a show being made by amateurs in a bedroom, this is a multi-million dollars franchise.

The writers think that stereotypical costumes and bits of decorating are good-enough shortcuts for the depiction of complex cultures, but god forbid the characters ever actually talk about that, at all. Marinette’s mom is super in touch with her Chinese heritage in her day-to-day life but her daughter isn’t and that is never addressed once in almost 80 episodes but you better believe we know all about Rose’s love for perfume or the principal’s antics because that’s a priority apparently.

Maybe there’s a point to be made about Marinette not being in touch with her Chinese heritage hidden somewhere in the show, but Miraculous is anything but subtle about what it wants the audience to notice, so what could have been a very interesting perspective turns out to never have been there in the first place.

Let’s have that very clumsy rice flour metaphor and also let’s have the racist grandpa be not-racist after a kid he’s being racist against has proven him that she doesn’t deserve to be treated like that personally.

Let’s have that one uncle that appears once, barely interacts with his niece and sister at all, and let’s call it a day. Oh, and let’s have him turn into the villain of the week too so that we can spend even less time with him as a regular person (and also let’s have his food-related attacks be sushi and pizza, famous Chinese delicacies, how fitting for a Chinese chef from China).

Let’s have a magical mystery Chinese man who does bogus mystical massages for a living, dressed up like Mr. Miyagi, the Japanese Karate master from the Karate Kid movies. 

Let’s make sure that every Chinese character knows Kung-Fu also, especially that lady baker wearing a Cheongsam, because, well, wouldn’t it be funny to have the Chinese woman do the Kung-Fu pose just like in the movies? Isn’t it funny, you guys? She’s barely a character but you better believe she drinks tea and knows Kung-Fu! Wow! 

Amazing show, amazing writing choices, absolutely no weird orientalist nonsense here! 

The people producing and airing the show are absolutely fine with that, don’t you worry about it. If they weren’t, the show wouldn’t be airing as is.

And the show remembers that its lead is indeed French-Chinese when she needs to go to another city because of her white crush. Not to visit the Chinese side of her family, mind you, who cares about them.

Fantastic job, you guys, really knocked that one out of the park.

If you can’t follow through with your creative choices, make different choices. It’s that simple. If you can’t deliver on the choices you’ve made, this is called a creative failure.

[bogkeep]

hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately

so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion’ when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !

[ncisladaily]

NCIS: Los Angeles‘ Barrett Foa himself had a hand in one of the Season 12 finale’s big sendoffs. No, not his own nor co-star Renee Felice Smith’s. But that of Eric Beale’s mustache.

Speaking with TVLine exclusively about parting ways with the high-octane CBS drama after more than a decade, Foa shared that amusing anecdote about a carefully clipped caterpillar, as well as reflected fondly on his 12-season run, his character’s journey from “bumbling beta” to “bulletproof,” Eric and Nell’s happy ending and his hope for a milestone encore.

TVLINE | How did you find out that your time with the show was coming to end, and what was your initial reaction? It was just sort of clear that we were, like, winding down this character during this season, so I think we sort of mutually were like, “This feels right.” I know the pandemic was a tough and strange time for everyone, but it sort of gave me time to do some real good work on myself, so as Barrett I was out exploring and adventuring…. Kind of like what Eric Beale was doing! He was getting into all kinds of crazy stuff in his new billionaire life, and I was sort of living my best life in the interims, in between the seven or eight episodes that I did this season. It was a nice little parallel reflection there.

TVLINE | [Showrunner] Scott [Gemmill] told me basically the same thing, that it felt like time for the character’s story to wind down, plus he knows what a multi-talented, ambitious son-of-a-gun you are. I’ve done some sort of incredible, amazing, artistically fulfilling theatrical endeavor in between each season, and I’ve loved doing that, because it just really recharged my batteries for each new 10-month stretch of NCIS: LA. It kept things fresh, and I’m excited for new, wonderful things coming my way. First of all, theater is back, which is very exciting. Television also is back, but it’s so different from when we started 12 years ago.

TVLINE | Now you can peel off and do a six-episode something, and then go on to an eight-episode something, and still have a half a year left. Exactly. I always thought that I would be living that sort of more gypsy lifestyle. I was an actor in New York for 10 years before NCIS: LA, going from Broadway to off-Broadway to regional to Broadway to off-Broadway to regional, and I always thought that would be my life. So when I auditioned for this part, I was like, “NCI-what? Who? How many letters are there?” I was a guest star for the first 12 episodes, and then they sort of saw something in me and liked me and I became a series regular on Episode 13. Now, 12 seasons later, 280 episodes later, I’m on this primetime network television show the likes of which doesn’t really exist anymore. It’s sort of the last of its kind, and I love that I got to be a part of that and have that consistency, to have one character for so long, to have one family for so long.

TVLINE | Well, let’s talk about the character that you played for some 280 episodes. What do you love about Eric? Oh, gosh…. I really love how far he’s come. I started out as this tech guy that was spouting coordinates, and as I realized that there was so much brawny energy on the show, I felt like there was a place for someone who was brainy and sort of beta, and that could make a great foil to our leading character team. So I started leaning into that a bit more, and I think the writers really liked that.

Eric Beale was so good at what he does in his job, but socially he’s so awkward. And in love, he’s so awkward. I love that he found his match with Nell, because she was so good at her job but she was also super quirky and liked the same nerdy things that Eric Beale liked. Again, I started out as this sort of computer geek who delivered a ton of exposition, and I don’t know if they knew what to do with me at first, but then I think the writers were like, “Oh, Barrett’s funny. Oh, Barrett can fall in love. Oh, Barrett can give us some quirk.”

TVLINE | “Oh, Kilbride can yell at Eric for wearing board shorts to work.” Exactly. And at one point they were like, “Let’s put this bumbling beta Beale in the field and see what happens,” and then he became “bulletproof Beale” and surprised everyone with how he can sort of hang with the guys. It was cool to see that growth, and suddenly have entire episodes about my character. And then in this last season, to see him becoming a billionaire and me getting to show up with my pandemic ‘stache and my long, curly hair.

TVLINE | And be a liiiittle bit douchey. [Laughs] A little bit douchey, and with a whole new wardrobe. It was about time that Eric Beale got a little cocky! It was a fun turn, and I think that also parallels my life in the last 12 years. Like, I’ve come so far in my confidence and my style, knowing who I am. I think we both learned a lot in the 12 years.

TVLINE | But did you learn a single thing about computers? Not one.

TVLINE | You learned how to poke at an iPad. I learned how to poke at Microsoft tablet — a little nod to our sponsors, there. Eric said a lot of fancy things and he hacked into a lot of FBI websites, but I don’t think I can come close to that — nor would I want to try.

TVLINE | Did you like the happy ending they gave Eric and Nell? I mean, they literally rode off into the sunset. We did, and I think it’s really fun. He pulled up in a matte black Lamborghini, opens the door, and he’s like, “Do you like it? Is it too much?” He can’t even stand by it, because he’s Eric Beale; he needs to ask Nell and Deeks if they like it. But he’s got to put that money somewhere!

TVLINE | I need to know. Did Renée actually shave your mustache on-camera? She did. Thank you for reminding me about that.

So, this is actually a funny story. I hadn’t been on the show for a bit — I had like a month off or something — so I was clean-shaven. Because I knew my episode was coming up, I asked Scott, “Hey, for the finale, do you want the ‘stache back? Because I’d need to start growing it.” And he’s like, “Oh my god, yes. And you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to have Renée shave it on-screen.” Now, you never really know when Scott is kidding; he always has these crazy ideas. But I open the script, and from the first draft to the second he added this entire scene of Renée shaving my mustache — and it was all because I asked about the mustache, and it sparked this idea. So, that was a really fun, live moment. And I definitely was walking around with half a mustache for an entire afternoon.

TVLINE | Last question: What is your message to the fans? My message to the fans? Oh my gosh…. You’re going to make me all sentimental. I mean, I’m sort of taken aback whenever fans reach out. I live an incredibly blessed life, and the fact that am on a long-running television show for 12 years has been so fantastic, yet I can also live my life and go to the grocery store. Especially in L.A., people don’t stop you as much on the street, so it’s really nice to have social media to be in direct contact with our fans and see how much they love us and watch us, consistently. They really follow storylines.

I get wind of all the fan fiction and blogs, the Reddit things or whatever, where people discuss the nitty gritty plot details of our show, and I’m constantly reminded of how much this show means to people when, in my everyday life, I can sort of forget that.

The fans and this show have really, completely changed my life, so I am so grateful for them and their loyalty…. I sometimes can’t even believe how many people watch our show every week, after all these seasons, with so much entertainment out there. It feels like such an honor.

TVLINE | NCIS: LA will hit 300 episodes late next season, so maybe Scott will bring you back for that milestone. I would love nothing more. How cool is it that our creators have very much kept the door open for Beale to return? It would be fun to hear from the fans about how they’d want him to stop by for a visit next season.

TVLINE | He could pull up in the Lamborghini…. Well, I feel like Beale would at that point have a private drone that would fly him in, or some helicopter that blows Hetty’s mind!

[wri0thesley]

a lot more ppl sent me very lovely messages and i don’t want to spam dashes OR ignore them so i’m replying to them in a batch below the read more!:

jellyluchi said: idk what those anons are on but I'm really glad you're writing for a different media I don't see a lot of jjk content so seeing it on my dash is great! plus it's your blog so you should be able to able to write whatever you want! you're not betraying anyone for writing stuff you like

tysm sid!!! i love jojo and i will probably not be abandoning it but people forget i’ve been here for FOUR YEARS (!) and i’m one of very few blogs still around. like. people don’t even remember the blogs that were popular when i was still writing :(. i’m just excited to have a new interest!!! <3 

Anonymous said: Nat: la squadra posts 24/7 Anon: you're basically abandoning the jojo fandom relinquish your card No but seriously, people are allowed to focus on other types of media, especially if the current fandom is waning. Not saying more people are leaving the JoJo fandom than staying, but that it's had to make do with the available content. I'd say more people (inside and outside the fandom) are more familiar with the anime, and Golden Wind ended 1-2 years ago. I'm sure once Stone Ocean comes out, the fandom will go wild again. Either way, I don't mind what you post, I just like seeing you talk so passionately

gosh it’s been so long since VA, huh? i’m still here, still working on stuff - my inspiration for jojo has just waned a little! i still love talking to you all about my husbands and your husbands. a lot of my friends are into jjk now too which means that i have people to bounce ideas off in a way i don’t as much for jojo! i’m sure when SO starts i’ll come crawling back but for now let me have a little fun! <3  also i really do still not shut up about la squadra dfbvnkjdfgn. i’ve been saying to myself i’ll publish one jojo thing and one jjk thing a day and it’s been going really well so far!��

mix-senpai said: I like to assume that the anons who say that stupid shit to you is always the same little gremlin who apparently has nothing better to do. I know you don't want people to openly riot over these anons, but honestly? You're one of the sweetest, and most friendly and accepting person I personally have ever met, so color me baffled to find that clowns like that anon would have the nerve to give you such a nasty attitude and be so rude for no reason. Like, hello? They're not the boss around here- it's not their blog it's yours to post whatever you please, they have zero say on the matter and they just have to deal with it. Keep doing you. Keep being your lovely self. And just keep doing whatever makes you happy, okay?

i block them as much as i can but i dont think it works very well fgnkjbng. as a whole i delete a lot of mean messages but honestly i’ve been expecting this one for a while which is why i bothered replying to it! tysm friend! <3

Anonymous said: 1. you still enjoy and write for jojo, you didn’t “abandon” anyone. and even if you did lose interest in jojo, that isn’t really your fault. people lose interest in things. 2. it’s YOUR blog. youre allowed to post, write, and simp over whoever you please from whatever fandom. i like jojo and jujutsu kaisen, but i also stay because i just generally like reading what you say and post because i like you, not just because i like what you can provide for me. you deserve to have followers that feel the same way, aka not that anon

the use of words like ABANDON and BETRAYAL is so funny to me honestly, this is just a thirstposting blog it’s not that deep fgbnkjgfn. thank you so much friend!! i’m glad so many people at least seem to like both, it makes me feel less bad! <3 

Anonymous said: are you seriously getting shit on just because you have interests other than jjba??? lmao how the fuck does that anon survive on tumblr 😂😂😂 one of the blogs i followed for, like, gravity falls content or something several years ago, who has since shifted their focus to posting content from numerous other fandoms, ended up putting monsterfucker content on my dash the other day because that’s just what they’re interested in right now apparently! and you know what i said about it? abso-fucking-lutely nothing because it is not my business to dictate the content they post on their blog, and if they ever start posting stuff that’s a dealbreaker for me, then i’ll just leave quietly and leave them to their business. a content creator that you followed for a certain type of content deciding to change what fandom they produce content for is not a “betrayal” or whatever, it’s just them being a human fucking person on the other side of the screen! anyway, i just wanna tell you that your writing slaps, i hope people continue to recognize that your writing slaps no matter WHAT fandom you write for, and i hope you have a fantastic time writing your funky lil heart out for jjk 💓

honestly some anons in my inboxes have WILD takes. i follow so many ppl who arent into jojo anymore but i consider them MY FRIENDS AND I LOVE THEM. i just want them to be happy! and if ppl arent happy with my content there is an unfollow button RIGHT THERE!!

Anonymous said: That anon saying they feel betrayed either copy and pasted their message or something because a few other blogs that used to be JJBA only, then branched out to multi fandom stuff, got the same if not similar messages.

yes! like i said earlier, i’ve been expecting this message for a while bc i’ve seen a lot of my mutual writer friends get it. as a whole, i delete a lot of mean messages instead of replying, but i felt like this one might come up again so i wanted to nip in the bud so to speak! <3 

Anonymous said: honestly, nat after over a year of being stuck inside and not being able to see my friends or do very much, it honestly just feels NICE to be excited about something with other people! i will ALWAYS love jojo but thank you so much for turning me on to jjk!! my partner and i were also in kind of an anime rut and hadn't watched a new series together in months but we are both enjoying it immensely 💖

AHH i hope you are the same anon who messaged me about it before because i am so happy that you are enjoying it!!! i convinced haz to watch jjk too and now we’re both having a very good time (she just got up to date with the manga!). it’s so nice sharing things you care about with people!

[life-observed]

How To Keep TV Real The Anthony Bourdain Way

How To Keep TV Real The Anthony Bourdain Way Anthony Bourdain didn’t start out developing TV shows. But seven seasons later, his No Reservations is going strong and, together with production partners Zero Point Zero, he’s launched a second show, The Layover and is working on a range of new projects. Here, the author/chef/restaurateur/TV show creator and star and Zero Point Zero principals talk about keeping TV real. BY ZACH DIONNE7 MINUTE READ Seven seasons deep, Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations is doing something right. The show, which revolves around the brash chef/author/all-round personality indulging in transformative stints of eating, drinking, and traveling, airs on the Travel Channel and is a product of Bourdain and Zero Point Zero Productions, the same company that just helmed a successful first season of a Bourdain offshoot, The Layover. Co.Create sat down with Bourdain, Zero Point Zero executive producers Chris Collins and Lydia Tenaglia, and managing director Joe Caterini to dig into why Bourdain’s shows stay afloat in a sea of programming, how multi-hyphenate creative types are working to adapt to new content paradigms, and why comedian Louis C.K. should be emulated in all things. Co.Create: You’re filming No Reservations’ eighth season. What’s the first trick to keeping the show fresh? Tenaglia: We understood very early on that if you’re really going to get to know a location well, it’s got to be through the characters that live there. Many scenes live or die by a good sidekick. Bourdain: Fixer selection is huge. Do they know the area as well as they say? Are they capable of doing all the logistical shit a fixer’s gotta do? But also, do they have a sense of humor? Are they fun? Do they drink? We’re not looking for the best of a place or everything you need to know about a place; we’re looking to have as close to a local experience as we can get, and have a good time and do something interesting that hasn’t been done before.

With Anthony’s writing background, are you doing much scripting ahead of time? Bourdain: We don’t script. We never do any writing beforehand. The Queens of the Stone Age show, it was like, let’s go to the desert and see what Josh Homme wants to do. All we really know for sure is he’s going to provide music for the show and we’re gonna be in the desert. If you think you’ve already figured out what the show’s going to be about or what you expect out of the scene, that’s a lethal impulse.

Does it get tricky to stay away from a fixed template? Tenaglia: Each year the show keeps evolving. Tony has an inimitable style and strong point of view that informs the creative, and we have an incredible creative team, very multi-platform, from animation to incredible graphics to unbelievable shooting and cinematography that informs the show. It truly evolves out of this process of intense collaboration, and then having these incredible creative tools to basically tell a story in any way, shape, or form. Bourdain: Let’s face it, ordinarily this is a very restrictive format. The story is always the same: Guy goes somewhere, eats a bunch of stuff, and goes home, presumably having learned something. The core of whatever we do is to fuck with the format as much as we can. Let’s find a way to tell what is basically the same story, different setting, in as disturbing-to-the-network fashion as possible. Why? Bourdain: Because television, if it’s a success, if it works, they wanna replicate it. That’s the death of creativity. Then we’ve settled into a groove, then I become bored, the people I work with become bored…it’s a mortifying process. If this isn’t fun and interesting to us, there’s no point doing it. Collins: We continually want to push further in the storytelling. We understand that with television you’ve got to work within certain parameters, but within those 42 minutes and 30 seconds, how can we play with this thing?

One way you did that was with an entirely different show, The Layover. Bourdain: That’s an even more restrictive concept–this is a format that’s been done a million times. Everybody loves the damn thing, but it took me a few episodes to figure out how to do it. No Reservations is about me, me, me–they’re basically essays. The idea of going to major cities and doing a “useful” show really goes against the grain.

What are the driving principles behind Zero Point Zero as a content production company? Caterini: The heart comes from a true vérité documentary filmmaking tradition. Bourdain: You don’t want people saying, “Could you say that again?” We’d rather miss the scene than fuck up the scene you have. That dynamic is absolutely essential to why our show is different from all the other travel shows. The show looks slick, it’s beautifully photographed, beautifully edited, but you’re never going to get those transforming human moments out of a character reenacting them for you. You’re never going to get real generosity, any kind of chemistry or any kind of fun, for that matter, if you’re muscling and you keep hammering home the theme. Caterini: Our primary goal is to be able to work on projects in the way we want to. We are looking to learn about digital technology and distribution and other ways of making content that don’t have to fit into the TV business formula. TV, being advertiser-driven, is all based on predictability and consistency. Predictability means you can’t take risks and consistency means it’s dreadfully boring. We’re fortunate we can bust those two barriers down, but it’s really hard to sell new TV shows when that’s your launch pitch. Why does it work with No Reservations? Caterini: The creative process is executed very well. We create situations that optimize that. We feel lucky we got greenlit and got on the air. Now we’ve proven that it works.

How do you take it forward? Caterini: We had a big eye-opening moment when we launched into social media, and looking at it as simply another medium in content and storytelling; truthful storytelling in different size bites with a different arc of time. We’re connecting directly with who really matters, which is the audience, the people who want to enjoy what we’re creating. That really did open up the doors for us to think about ways to go straight to them. For a lot of content creators that’s extremely exciting, and the revolution really hasn’t even happened yet.

📷You must be familiar with how Louis C.K. sold his latest stand-up special directly to fans for $5 via PayPal. Bourdain: A heroic pioneer. It was a huge, tectonic moment. Tenaglia: What’s really fantastic about him, and I think it mirrors a lot of what we do here, is he’s the producer of the piece, the writer, the editor, behind the scenes, in front of the camera–he’s extremely multifaceted and nimble and flexible and self-contained. I think we have a lot of those same qualities. We don’t go out with big, bloated crews of 25 people. We can create something pretty extraordinary with a team of one or two. What’s the key to getting content made, and seen, with these new paradigms? Bourdain: People in the television business have a vested interested in keeping it as close to the way it was as possible. You don’t want to cut the ground out from under your own feet. We’re in a more luxurious position to adapt to the situation on the ground. I like making television. But I definitely have both eyes on what’s next. Caterini: The creative people have to shift the content paradigm. We look at social media as a big medium in and of itself, and we’ve successfully developed and in fact exploded growth in an audience. So it’s working. Then unfortunately we have to say, “Is that a business or not?” But that has to come second. I think we’d ideally like someone to build the perfect platform for creators to work off of. There are bits of it. No one’s actually figured out how to turn it into money right for the creator, though. I think either the platform will come along or we’ll have to do some of the business a network does–market our own stuff, sell our own stuff. Bourdain: A person with a television show generally lives or dies by the Nielsen numbers. I don’t really understand why anyone would care. I care how many people over time see and like the show and are interested in seeing more stuff. That’s the only number that counts.

What about your personality as a brand, Tony? How does it factor into all this? Bourdain: I’m happy to use the word “brand,” but listen, I’m doing a lot of things: I’m doing a comic book, I’m writing for Treme, I’m making two television shows, publishing books. I do these things because they’re fun, and interesting, and because 12 years ago I had no opportunities to do anything. It bothers me when people say I’m “expanding the brand.” You expand the brand so you can land a Pepsi-Cola commercial. You haven’t seen me endorsing any products yet, though I am asked. I’m doing it ’cause it’s fun. What happens when things become not interesting? Then it’s a job. I had a job for years, I know what it’s like to show up every day and do the same thing the same way. I don’t know how Howie Mandel gets up in the morning. I don’t ever want to be that.

[ericmhe]

Godzilla Singular Point

I'm not much of a “binger” for the most part but I got the whole series Godzilla: Singular Point watched in about 4 days I think. Let's start positive: I think the 3D models for the monsters work a lot better than most anime 3D models, they're still fairly apparent but it seems like they blend with the rest of the art alright. The designs are mostly fairly good too, there's some ugly ones in there but I kind of don't mind them? Monsters can be ugly sometimes and not just cool looking, a few here and there in the cast doesn't hurt anything. It's nice to see some nods to the more obscure kaiju too, there's a lot of interesting and fun monsters from Toho's old movies and it gets a little tiring to be hit with nonstop Godzilla-Mothra-Ghidorah-MechaGodzilla incarnations every single time there's a new take on Godzilla. I like a lot about the premise, the apocalyptic rise of kaiju around the world as they bring their habitat/environment with them into our world, terraforming it into a world of monsters. It's not new by any means, but it's usually not the approach taken witht the Toho monsters and it's a good excuse to fit a lot of them into a setting quickly. The end credit sequence is pretty great, I hit 'watch credits' every time on my watch. Heck, the whole series might be better if it was more like its own end credits.

I think Godzilla: Singular Point could have been better, but we've also seen worse recently. I've only dabbled in storytelling but I suspect a lot of its problems come from overcompensating, specifically: “Godzilla movies/media are dumb” being met with “Oh yeah, well how about one based on theoretical quantum physics” just didn't work out. I actually think what they use in the series is a fine technobabble excuse for the monsters having powers and durability beyond science, but I also don't feel like kaiju media really needs that excuse. It's fine though, I think the sheer quantity of the technobabble is the biggest problem with it. I've been listening to discussions of theoretical multi-dimensional physics for a while now, so I think I might have been better prepared than average but it's still a chore to get my head around so I know it's going to lose a majority of the general population. One big question I have is why did they give the main characters the wrong interests? Yun, who is into future predictions deals with the monsters, and Mei who is studying theoretical impossible animals deals with the future predicting technology end of the plot... I could get that if the idea was to raise tension by making the wrong people have to work outside their field of expertise, but that's not what happens, they're both pretty good “omnidisciplinary scientist” sorts who don't have much problem learning a whole new field. Honestly they really should have been assigned the other interests though, Yun studying fantastical creature ideas and Mei the future stuff.

While I like the premise and some of the stuff they do with the monsters, there's also a lot that's disappointing – The Kumonga-Megalon-Hedorah hybrids really need some explaining. Why are there three monsters in one species? Just to reference as much old material as possible at once? As far as I'm concerned Anguirus is the stand out star of the series and they kill him far too quickly. The series could also be called a fairly cozy catastrophe too, for the most part the worst thing happening for most people is losing their internet connection, kind of seems like a monster apocalypse should have a bit more than that going on. That said it's not nearly the disappointment that the Polygon Pictures trilogy is, which managed to take the most interesting and unique premise the Godzilla franchise has ever had and do basically nothing with it.

I might give Singular Point something like 6 out of 10, and I think a second season might have enough room for improvement that I'm not against it.

For the heck of it:

Shin Godzilla: The most common criticisms are right (dull, Godzilla has no personality, the humans are more random bureaucrats than characters), but so are most the common praise (topical in its way, punchy with its political critique, holy hell that weapons upgrade on Godzilla). Which one outweighs the other is a simple matter of personal preference. I don't have super strong feelings about it and it will be one of my least re-watched Godzilla movies ever, up with  Godzilla's Revenge.

Polygon Trilogy: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRG. The only things worth watching are Godzilla Earth avenging Godzilla filius and Ghidorah's destruction of the spaceship (wasn't it Atrium or something? I'm feeling too lazy to look it up) but unfortunately there's an awful lot of crap around those bits. Ok, I exaggerate a little but not much. I kind of appreciate how they tried to subvert the classic “your life goals or your love interest” kind of scenario, but she wasn't much of a character so it didn't have much impact to kill her off and the main character is an unlikable jerk too.

Legendary's Monsterverse: Godzilla 2014: Too much of its run time is boring for me to recommend it but the monster stuff is too well done for me to ever dismiss it outright.

Godzilla King of the Monsters: I get why people have a problem with it, but I appreciate the story between Godzilla, Ghidorah, Rodan and Mothra enough to forgive it and it's my favorite of the Monsterverse. I don't have as much problem seeing the monsters through the weather effects as some people seem to, the only one I really can't follow is when Godzilla drags Ghidorah into the Gulf of Mexico. It does cut to the humans too much during the monster fights, but it's also trying to connect the stories. The goal of the human characters lines up with Godzilla's well enough that they can be considered to be on the same side, and that's why we see things like Godzilla charge Ghidorah, then cut away to humans where Ghidorah's heads slam into the earth somewhere in the background. It's fairly flawed, but...

Godzilla vs Kong: Holy shit over-correction much? I think it might actually work better as a stand alone movie than a continuation of King of the Monsters, yet it actually can't because of some elements like the Ghidorah heads. Notice how they say one skull holds the pilot, there's another skull in Mecha Godzilla? - clearly supposed to be the side heads incinerated by Burning Godzilla not the one Godzilla tore off in the Gulf of Mexico – not sure why everyone misses that. ANYWAY, it's a fun movie that gets to the main event as fast as it feels like it can and the monster action is solid. With the one exception that I really hate Godzilla being portrayed as defenseless against Mecha Godzilla – outmatched and needing help is fine, but utterly unable to do anything but get stomped is just not enjoyable to me. As soon as Kong comes to help double team Mecha G it gets a lot better though. - Quick note, why did “Team Kong” see any reason to sic Kong on Mecha G? We the audience know that since the robot is possessed by Ghidorah that once it kills Godzilla it'll go on to wipe out all humanity and anything else it comes across, but does “Team Kong” know it? If Kong knows it, would he care beyond Jia? I mean, it doesn't matter but it does nag me a little bit.

I honestly thing the basic story teased at the end of King of the Monsters in the news reel stuff sounds like a better movie than Godzilla vs Kong turned out to be but I'm fine with what we got for the most part. Except why did they dump all the other monsters? They've come up with all these interesting new monsters and they have Rodan and what-not and they just say they all haven't been seen? It's the most disappointing part of the Monsterverse so far if you ask me.

[cenedrariva]

A Night Vale AU

i know this kind of thing has been done before but imagine how fun an AU it would be if Carlos was the Night Vale native and Cecil was an investigative journalist who turns up there one day because of all the bizarre stories about Night Vale!!!

Carlos is Night Vale’s resident Scientist, and he’s been studying Night Vale all his life. He knows as much about Night Vale and how the town works as is legally allowed (and a bit beyond that too), and he’s one of the only regular visitors to the library. With his team of scientists, he regularly helps defend the town from, well, pretty much everything. 

Cecil has never been anywhere this weird before, and everything is astounding! Fantastic! There's an invisible clock tower that teleports! A massive glow glow that rains dead animals! A five headed dragon! Mysterious hooded figures!! Cecil is like terrified out of his mind but soooo curious!!!! He wants to know all about everything!!!

Cecil would end up taking over the old abandoned radio building, fixing up an old transmitter himself and he's running these unofficial radio shows for a while, and sure, he gets shut down by the secret police a few times, but he knows how to work with radios better than they do, he can get around that.  

And then one day, the building is like all fixed up and inside is twice as large and everything looks.... well, not new, but like it has been a working office space for the last decade instead of falling into disrepair since the 60s, and there's this weird door that was never there labelled station management, and some teenager claiming to be an intern???

Cecil and Carlos meet during Cecil’s very first radio show. He is talking about how exciting and interesting Night Vale is and how he can't wait to learn all about it, and Carlos just happened to be listening and he's just like omg!!!! Someone interested in the mysteries of Night Vale!!!!!! My speciality!!!!!!

So mid-show he calls up and arranges for a coffee date, because this interloper is really curious about everything which Carlos thinks is really neat and he wants to tell Cecil all about all the stuff he’s discovered, but also Cecil’s said like 20 illegal things in 5 minutes while broadcasting to the whole town, so his reasons for the coffee date are multi-faceted.

The get coffee, and Carlos is very excited to talk so much science! Even if the interloper doesn’t seem to understand much science, he is listening with avid curiosity. Carlos ends up a little flustered, being the object of such intense focus from such an attractive individual. 

For Cecil’s part, it wouldn’t quite be accurate to say he fell in love at first sight, although it was a near thing with Carlos’ perfect hair (and he’s a scientist!!! In a lab coat!!!). And then Carlos starts talking about all the science he’s done in Night Vale and Cecil falls in love instantly.

Other stuff:

Cecil nearly dies like 6 times during his first month in Night Vale. He keeps running towards the danger to get the story, and although he has a reasonable amount of terror about all of this he also thinks it’s very exciting. 

Carlos saves his life twice during that first month, Cecil is smitten. 

Cecil is taken for re-education on his second day in Night Vale.

During the wheat and wheat by-product scare, Cecil ends up hiding in Carlos’ laboratory, watching as the scientists work on a solution. The next day his radio show is entirely Cecil waxing poetic about Carlos, his hair, his heroism, his science

Cecil quickly decides Night Vale is his most favourite place in the world. 

Carlos thinks he’s a little bit mad because of this, considering all the near-death scares and re-education.

Carlos went to Europe in his youth, except he went to real Europe countries where the laws of physics and everything work normally. After studying normal science for a year, he decided Night Vale was more interesting and went back. 

Kevin is a rival reporter Cecil knows from a huge company, who want to expose Night Vale's secrets to the world. Cecil is firmly against exposing all the secrets and weirdness of Night Vale to the world media. Cecil thinks it would be a catastrophically bad idea, the kind that would end with Night Vale being napalmed. This only makes his rivalry with Kevin 100x times worse 

The events of “One Year Later” are exactly the same, with Carlos ending up nearly dying, and its the first time Cecil has seen him close to death, this nearly magical heroic figure laid low and dying and Cecil is terrified

it all works out, of course, and they sit together in a parking lot, watching the lights above Arby’s

That’s it for now!

[apathetic-revenant]

So... according to something I saw on the Internet (which is probably 100% unsubstantiated)... Vincent Price's contract with Disney says nobody else is allowed to voice Ratigan, like, ever. Which may possibly explain why even the Horned King gets more callbacks in modern Disney stuff than he does. Thoughts?

now that is an interesting idea, but I can’t find anything to substantiate it online. this says that Ratigan had a cameo (voiced, albeit not a lot) on House of Mouse, and since that didn’t start airing until well after Price died they presumably either got someone else in to do that or pulled a sample from the film.

it also says that Ratigan was actually a walkaround character at the parks for a while but got retired, which is rumored to be because he frightened children. which, I mean…NO SHIT he frightened children! HE’S A GIANT RAT.

(okay, technically he’s a normal-sized rat but contextually he’s a giant rat.)

the whole thing sounds unlikely to me. I mean, why would Disney even sign a contract like that to begin with? that would be a really stupid move for a company that operates by turning everything they put out into a major multi-media franchise that they can expect to milk for decades. yeah, no one expected TGMD to do as well as it did, but if they ever had any expectation of doing a sequel or anything else at any point they’d want to make sure they could actually, y’know, do so. Price was 75 when he did that movie, and not in fantastic health. they couldn’t reasonably expect a huge time window to get him in the role again if they wanted to.

and it just seems out of character for Price? like I don’t know a huge amount about him but I never got the impression he was the kind of guy to be draconian about contracts like that. I have heard that Ratigan was one of his favorite roles so he probably would have wanted to reprise him if the chance came up. but that’s a long way from “no one else can voice him literally ever.”

tbh, this all sounds to me like the kind of rumor that comes out of people wanting a clear and interesting reason for something which I suspect in this case has a much more prosaic explanation in reality. I’ve always assumed the reason TGMD doesn’t get brought up much by Disney is because they don’t particularly want to and don’t know what to do with it anyway. as far as Disney animated movies go it’s kind of a weird one. I mean it’s a Sherlock Holmes parody with mice. no princes or princesses, it’s dark and gritty and foggy, kind of a weird plot, set in 1800s mouse-world London so that’s not exactly an easy setting to tie other stuff into, and it’s just kind of generally in a weird place where it’s a kid’s movie, but it’s relying on an atmosphere and narrative framework that’s not at all common for kid’s movies. (how many kids are gonna go “oh, they fell off the clocktower together just like Holmes and Moriarty fell off Reichenbach Falls! that’s so clever!)” I mean, I loved it as a kid, and still do, but my impression is that it’s now remembered as a cult classic rather than like, a regular classic.

Disney’s just not gonna put money and effort into building into anything related to one movie from 1986 that maybe your occasional anomalous kid will recognize when they’ve got franchises that they can rely on much more recognition and interest in from their current audience. I don’t think you really need to look much further than that. it’s sad really, cause there’s a ton of potential left unused there (I still want to know about Mouse Afghanistan) but that’s a much more likely explanation to me than anything involving a bizarre contract deal.

[elizadoolittlethings]

Funny peculiar

As one-quarter of The League of Gentlemen, Mark Gatiss is used to playing odd characters - great practice for his stage role in All About My Mother. He talks to Sarah Dempster

[https://www.theguardian.com/media/2007/aug/20/theatre.arts]

Later, we will hear tell of Nubian effigies and septuagenarian sauce, of outrageous folly and the dashed inconvenience of finding oneself betrothed to not one but two Fannies. But first, a cautionary tale re: the hidden perils of high-street gadgetry. "I recently bought a digital dictaphone," announces Mark Gatiss, solemnly. "But when I got it home I noticed that there was already a 35-second recording on it. I thought, 'Hello'. So I pressed play and all I heard was (he adopts a casserole-thick cockney drawl): "'Errr ... Boxing Day mornin'. Lookin' aaht the window. Contemplatin' ... 'avin' a wank.' And that was it. Obviously, whoever it was had his festive wank, decided he had no further use for his dictaphone, and then took it back to the shop. Wonderful!" he hoots. "I immediately thought, 'Yes!' [He raises a fist in triumph.] 'This is the dictaphone for me!'"

Well, of course it is. Gatiss's imagination thrives on such peculiarities. From The League of Gentlemen's hapless, unemployable Mickey Michaels to Nighty Night's sexually stunted Glenn Bulb, his characters are often bleakly hilarious fusions of the strange and the wrong.

Today, sitting in a quiet corner of the National Theatre's artificial turf lawn, Gatiss cuts a rakish figure. Resplendent in a flapping, 1930s-style pinstripe suit and fetching brogues, there is an air of Boy's Own mischief to the chap, a dandy-in-aspic glee that echoes that of Lucifer Box, the all-quipping, all-boffing secret service hero of Gatiss's literary period romps The Vesuvius Club, The Devil in Amber and still-in-the-planning Clawhammer (in which a now-elderly Box finds himself up to his walloping libido in 1950s naughtiness).

In much the same spirit of adventure, Gatiss's latest role is that of a forthright transvestite called Agrado in the Old Vic's production of All About My Mother - Pedro Almodóvar's beloved paean to female resilience. The rehearsals, he says, are going "swimmingly". His fellow cast members - who include Diana Rigg and Lesley Manville - are "just wonderful". And yet a cumulonimbus hovers on his otherwise tranquil horizon.

"Word came from Madrid," he confides, sotto voce, "that Pedro wants me to lose weight." Clearly, this is preposterous. The man is thinner than rhubarb. And yet, having seen snaps of Gatiss dressed as volcanic redhead Agrado, the Spanish director was apparently insistent. "I know from my experience on the League that you can get quite ... boxy," he says. "I've got to have a prosthetic chest and the more you build out, the bigger you become. Nobody's saying I'm fat. But basically, I'm off the bread."

Now 40, Gatiss's voice is as warm as a recently vacated bath chair, his northern inflections softened by his many years in London and an outlook that always reached far beyond the terraced rooftops of his Sedgefield, County Durham childhood. His CV bears testament to this ambition, his enduring fascination with nostalgia and grotesques, and the overriding, shining importance of Not Just Doing Any Old Rubbish. "I'm very lucky," he says. "I always used to say, in the olden days, when any kind of career looked like a pipe dream, that the thing I'd really like to do is become well known for something and then, as a result, be offered all kinds of different things. And that's exactly what's happened. That was my dream plan - I never thought it would ever happen. It's amazing how the League has opened so many wonderful doors."

Roles in The Wind in the Willows (as Rat), BBC4's live remake of The Quatermass Experiment (as a worried boffin), the excellent Fear of Fanny (as the titular Cradock's downtrodden husband) and Starter for Ten (as Bamber Gascoigne) have demonstrated his versatility, but it is his involvement with the multi-award-winning League of Gentlemen that continues to generate the loudest online burble.

Persistent forum-generated rumours that the troupe has called it a day are met by Gatiss with a mock-theatrical sigh. "We haven't split up. We're on a sabbatical. We had lunch the other day. But it's difficult at the moment because we're all doing different stuff."

Will there be future projects with fellow Gentlemen Steve Pemberton, Jeremy Dyson and Reece Shearsmith? "I certainly hope so. I mean, Steve and Reece have written a new BBC2 thing by themselves (Psychoville), so that's interesting. I don't want it to be seen as the League, or only half the League, as it were, but I suppose that's inevitable. But we all want to do something together.

"When we sort of paused, we'd been working together continuously for almost 12 years, from the beginning of our Fringe life to the film (The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse). I would never have been able to do a show like All About My Mother because we never had three months off. So I think it's a lovely thing to step off the treadmill. And because we've all done different stuff we'll come back with different experiences. Then it'll become a total pleasure to reform, rather than, 'What the hell are we going to do next?'"

Television remains a constant source of passion for Gatiss, its highs ("Upstairs, Downstairs is wonderful!") and lows ("I want to write a drama about ratings - the whole system is fucking bollocks!") negotiated with equal gusto. Above all, however, is his love of Doctor Who. "In a way, it's been the spine of my career," he says. "It was my first TV memory and I always wanted to be in it and write for it. In the interregnum, in the dark days, I wrote Doctor Who books [he has written four to date]. And then when it came back, Russell [T Davies] asked me to write for it. And now I've been in it as well [as Professor Lazarus]. So it's all fantastic - hah-hah!"

His home life displays a similarly chipper disregard for convention. A few years ago, Gatiss decided to build a Victorian laboratory in a spare bedroom. "We had this fabulous room, blood red, beautiful fireplace. I bought all the furniture, chemical bottles and a fantastic wax head of a Nubian boy with a fez on it. All original. Amazing stuff. But then all I ever did was show it to people. I'm not quite sure what I thought I was going to be able to do with it - turn back time or something. It was a folly. At one point, I toyed with the idea of covering it in cobwebs and then just showing people it through the keyhole. But it was a case of be careful what you wish for. I wanted a laboratory as a kid; then I had one and just thought, 'Oh'. So I dismantled it. I've kept nearly all of the stuff, though. It's around the house."

Does his partner, Ian, share his affection for such monstrosities? "He ... tolerates it," says Gatiss, affectionately. As, presumably, does the couple's rumpled, sensible labrador, Bunsen. "He is extraordinary. He's the light of our lives."

The next few months will see the genial multi-tasker juggle a flurry of new projects - a situation that Gatiss ("not a workaholic, but nearly") is "very comfortable" with. The BBC are planning to adapt his Lucifer Box novels, he will "possibly" write an episode for the fourth series of Doctor Who, and there will be appearances in Consenting Adults - a BBC4 drama based around the Wolfenden report - and Andrew Davies's adaptation of Sense and Sensibility: "I play John Dashwood, who has a terrible wife called Fanny. Yes, another Fanny! It's my fate. What have I done to deserve them?

"As long as I'm able to write and perform stuff that gives me the same excitement as I've always felt, I can't imagine wanting much else," says Gatiss, smoothing out the creases in his voluminous trousers in preparation for a suitably dandy-ish evening stroll. "To be able to sit down and write, 'Interior: Tardis'. Or write a very spooky ghost story. They're the same preoccupations I've had since I was little. That's what makes me happy".

· All About My Mother is at The Old Vic from August 27. Box office 0870 060 6628.

[toyahinterviews]

TOYAH ON CATtales 21.5.2020

CAT: Hi, you're listening to CATtales and my guest today really needs no introduction. She appeared in the 1978 film “Jubilee” and “Quadrophenia” the following year. Her early hit singles included “It's A Mystery” and “I Want To Be Free”, and by 1982 she had made two platinum selling albums.      After more than 40 years in the music business, she is as creatively hungry as she was in her teens. She's a singer and actress, a writer, a punk rebel and an icon. But most importantly, she is an independent, strong woman who doesn't take any prisoners. This is the one with Toyah Willcox. What a ridiculous time we’re in! TOYAH: Well, I certainly won’t be promoting concerts! (they both laugh) CAT: I know, I know, it's terrible, isn't it? Everybody’s saying the same thing ... it's like they have tours and had to cancel it all. It's heart breaking, isn't it? TOYAH: The thing is like a lot of us have been building up to this year and it's been a phenomenal journey from about 2001, the wave of 80's being so popular has been  incredible. But a lot of artists had just been building to this year with their kind of independence.  

So yes, we do all these fantastic festivals and we do these multi-star line-ups but quite a few of us to work really hard to go out and be solo on tour and and this year we’re supposed to going out with Hazel O'Connor on a completely sold out tour, but also my own tours at the same time. So it's very, very frustrating. CAT: Oh, it must be. As I saw about the tour that you were doing with Hazel and I thought that's going to be a must see, so I'm not surprised to hear it's been sold out. TOYAH: It is still going to happen. And I think what will happen once we find a way of being out in the open safely. And I suppose the most obvious way that's going to happen is a vaccine. I think we're going to have a decadent 20s. We're going to go back 100 years to a lifestyle of complete decadence. I think we're all like pressure cookers waiting to go off. And we're gonna party party party.  

And I know from talking to venues and promoters from my side, the venues need as much help as they can get. So even though this year was going to be one of the busiest years of my life, I think next year is going to be beyond the busiest years of all our lives because we're going be opening the venues, helping the venues, keeping those venues running almost 24 hours a day so that the rock economy can get back on its feet. I think next year, technically, and kind of wishful thinking is going to be an incredible year. 

CAT: I think that's a really good observation. You could be right, as long as we can also hold on that long, which with the human spirit we will do. It will be like the end of the war years, won't it?

TOYAH: Yeah, we are in recession and I mean I've not earned a penny for 14 months. But you know I can survive. The passion to work and the passion to be in front of my audience is not diminishing - its growing and I think it's the same for everyone and come the point where we could all go out there and work I just think we are going to just run our socks off and make everything come back the way we knew it, but much better. CAT: Yeah, I think you're absolutely right and you do sound so passionate about stuff which is so refreshing with 40 years in the industry, you sound actually more alive now that you probably ever have done. TOYAH: Well, I think like many artists my age, I turn 62 on Monday, we're in control of our lives now and what we do we do because we really love it and I don't feel the pressure I was under in my 20’s. When you’re a new upcoming artist and you've got to just keep coming up when new looks, new music and it was relentless and I found it very very … it wasn't conducive to being creative, whereas these days where we can go about our lives as kind of sixty somethings, we’re driving the engine, we can put out there when we're ready to put out there and it makes life a lot more rewarding. CAT: Absolutely. I think the 60 is the new 40, isn't it?

TOYAH: I think it's the new 30’s personally ... CAT: Yes! (laughs) TOYAH: I didn't enjoy my 30’s so I'm determined that 60 is going to make up for that. CAT: The autumn years are the best years. So you’ve got lots and lots of strings to your bow. You started out in acting. You’re better known as a musician probably, but you do presenting, producing, voiceover, writing. That's a lot of balls to have in the air, Toyah. What’s your preference or are you just a good juggler?

TOYAH: I like to be busy and if I can do it and do it well, I'm gonna do it. Obviously I love music, but I can't relentlessly stay tuned in that way. It drains you. So I find going away doing a film, doing a stage play or voiceovering or making a documentary ... they refuel me. They kind of give me new ideas, they connect me to new people.     So I find it's all complimentary. It all helps the other, I find it very healthy and I think a lot of people are working that way. I know when I started in the business, I think 42 years ago, you couldn't do that. People wouldn't allow you to do that. There was so much snobbery in every area. But now I think you're able to do it and people still respect you and see you for what you are. CAT: I totally agree. Actually, it's more like the entertainment business now, isn't it? Rather than having those specific genres, that you couldn't crossover those boundaries, which I suppose I should say it helps your creativity in different areas? TOYAH: Yes, totally it does. I agree. But also, I think with the internet everything has become slightly diluted. I remember when I started my career I was at the National Theatre, I was 18 years old and this is in London and actors just wouldn't do voiceovers. Actors wouldn't do adverts. Stage actors wouldn't do TV and they had no money (both laugh)    

Learning from an actor who didn't act much but made over 75 K a year, 42 years ago, doing voiceovers, everyone was just dribbling at the thought of it so I think we live in a much more balanced world. I don't think people beat themselves up so much over those kind of snobberies anymore. CAT: That's true, that's possibly down to the internet, as you say, isn’t it and social media being a big influence really? TOYAH: For me this learning curve on this particular lockdown has been social media because I'm slightly technophobic and I've had to learn how to do it and I've had to turn it around to give myself presence and it's been a fabulous journey in that alone. I got my first 1.2 million hits on something I posted and all of that is such an important thing in this time - that you can stay connected to your audience via social media. So it's all a learning curve.  

I'm quite an insular person when I'm being creative, which is virtually everyday - it's a silent process. It's not a process where I want a phone in my hand, so I had to learn a way that I can connect to my fans through social media. And what I'm doing I absolutely love, and it's just posting slightly Dadaistic films to make them laugh. It's done me the world of good, my agent is calling me everyday and saying, "do you know so and so has just seen this" "do you know know they’ll book you because of this film" and it's worked and I'm very very grateful. 

CAT: It’s wonderful. I've been watching some of them, I've been having a right laugh at you with a tutu and Robert there doing it. Doing the Swan Lake impression which is wonderful! TOYAH: That’s the controversial one. It made the headlines in Italian newspapers that one because Italians pride themselves on being almost exclusively intellectual and for Robert (below with Toyah in 1997) to do that, my husband's Robert Fripp of the band King Crimson - for him to do that was blasphemous, and you had super über authors in Italy debating this and my husband is not kind man if you criticise him and he attacked these people online and again that was making headlines.     It’s well known in the industry if you diss my husband he’ll diss you a 100 time more (they both laugh) and this was making headlines and my husband found it very entertaining and last week having journalists say in an Italian newspaper, top newspaper, “Oh yes, I was reading an interview with Fripp” ... I mean not even having met him or interviewed him - “I read an interview with with Fripp and I came to the conclusion he’s a jerk” Boy, was that the red rag to the bull!

CAT: Oh dear! First of all it’s terrible for him to say that full stop, but not even sitting and meeting him ... 

TOYAH: Well, thats’s the power of … we all have a voice now, so it's just been very, very enlightening and at sometimes entertaining.   CAT: Absolutely and what's lovely about that. Is it still that rebellious side of your nature and Robert joining in there creating it for you, how wonderful is that? You're known for your rebellion, aren't you? TOYAH: Yeah, I think my rebellion is slightly kinder (they both laugh) But yes, I just never conformed to this thing about age. I think age is a privilege. I think the fact we live so long is a privilege, but it doesn't mean that I diminish and I’m just totally against this attitude, especially within the music industry.       I think it's improving in TV and film now but because a woman hits a certain age, she's no longer a sexually driven or desirable creature, and no longer has thoughts. That's changing but in the music business it's going to take a bit longer to do that. But thank goodness my audience and my generation still love what I do, and I always say to my audience the reason I'm standing on this stage is because of you. And it is you only so I'm really appreciative of that.

CAT: Yeah, I think that's a really great thing to say actually. We're still the same people even though we're ageing. Everybody's ageing. But there is this attitude against women, isn't there? And it's such a ridiculous concept that you're only desirable or you're only talented or whatever when you're young. It’s just bizarre ... TOYAH: Well, I mean obviously when we're young the energy is 10 times stronger. But I think the whole thing about growing old is we become better, we become enriched, we become deeper and that needs to be recognised and appreciated because we have so much to offer. We've been there, we've seen it. We've got the t-shirt. We know the warning signs. So we have just so much to give. I also think with the lockdown and everything with the internet being what it is, we've been able to explain ourselves a bit better because that's given us a platform.       But musically I find that OK, I'm still Toyah. I still have my voice. I still sound like Toyah. Technically I'm a better singer than I have ever been because when I started out I was singing through pure will and ambition and determination. Now I'm technically a singer. I'm really, really good at what I do and I just don't want to not use that, it's a gift. When it comes to writing, my writing is clearer. And I don't feel under pressure to do 4 albums a year, which people would have had me do 42 years ago.      

But the creativity and that flow, and the connection with my audience is very, very alive and I just don't want to be told that I should slow down. It's it's such a bizarre thing to be told when you can see your finite amount of time. I find myself speeding up and I'm trying to fill that time positively with the best work I can possibly do, because I know that is the memory I leave behind and memories have value. 

CAT: Absolutely. It’s your legacy isn't it and that's really your purpose on this world  is finite as you say, and to have something that you can in fact leave (which) is tangible and has touched so many people, it is absolutely wonderful. TOYAH: I know and I think prime examples of that is George Michael, Prince, Michael Jackson, Hendrix, Bowie. I mean, it's just such an example of the power of our lives. The power of our lives continue. So I really value the time I have. CAT: Yeah, I totally agree and it's great that you can actually tap into all that experience that you've had over the years and so your writing, for example, is possibly, as you say, more enriched because of it. TOYAH: Because experience, I just want my next album to be a danceable album. I  wanna go out next year and perform music where you see tens of thousands of people dancing and dancing because I think we all need to just celebrate this together.

CAT: Yeah, you're right. And it's nice to hear that you are saying that you want to do something a little bit different with that. That's your sort of your trademark really. Progressing through the years, doing something different through the years. I mean, just even going back to the early days, having such amazing hairstyles and the make-up and everything was very of the moment grabbing it while you could, but you changed and moved with the times and I think that's really good.

TOYAH: Yeah. There's two reasons for this. I'm auditioning for movies virtually every day. An I can't send a film in because at the moment because we’re all self- taping. I can't do that if I've got pink hair. You can't send a film to a world class director if you look like a punk rocker and you're reading for woman from the 18th century.   So I've I've had to kind of control my look and also I just didn't want to look or even attempt look how I did 42 years ago. It's not right. The only woman I know who can getaway with that is Sandra Rhodes because she is a designer. She's absolutely stunning. She's brilliant and that is her trademark. For me my trademark is energy and my voice so I just want to look good at 62. That's what I want. CAT: Yeah, absolutely. And don't you just, I have to say. I'm admiring your your your energy, your look and everything. You look wonderful to have to say. So I tell you what we're going to do. We're going to play “Sensational” just for you off your album “In The Court of The Crimson Queen” because you are. We will be right back in a moment.

CAT: (after the song) What I was going to talk about was about this idea of conformism and rebellion. Have you found that actually that has left you that feeling of wanting to rebel and you just held onto the energy and tapping into your experience? Or is there still something that you feel that you can rebel against?     TOYAH: I feel as though I rebel every day and it's purely that kind of theme of agesism and again I also feel I rebel every day because since I got married 34 years ago I've always been the little woman at home in the eyes of men. I rebel against that all the time, so my rebellion is ongoing. It's slightly more sophisticated.   I'm not a political person and I think where rebellion is very, very valuable is in the political field, but I just don't think that way. So my rebellion is is a lot more gentle, but it's definitely there and it's definitely a way of life.   And part of that is I just will not conform to someone else's view of what a woman should be and that will always be with me. Apart from that I think within my work my rebellion is still there because again, I just don't think I can conform. I don't fit in and this started when I moved into the outside world at the age of four and a half and went to school, I just realised I was never going to quite fit in.  

And if you're always a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, you're not in the right place. You find your place and for me it's by being observationally different. So I am just me and I won't kind of hone those edges ...

CAT: Yeah, I read some of the interviews you’ve obviously done before, saying you had like a violent childhood and you were sort of kicking back against everything. Do you look back at that now and think that you overreacted to things? Or was that just part and parcel of growing up and trying to hone this energy? TOYAH: OK, my background I wouldn't say was violent. It was mentally aggressive. It was psychologically cruel. So I didn't understand this until I was an adult. So my rebellion was I had to get out of that situation and I had to have my independence and that still remains. Whenever I feel trapped, that just still remains, I need my independence.   It made me very solitary and distrusting. I'm a bit better on the trust front. My background was an all girls school where the clever, clever girls attacked the non-clever girls. Slight physical disability that amused many people a lot of the time.

My nickname was Hopalong and an exceptionally unkind mother who thought she was being kind. So my reaction was over the top, but it was my way of surviving so I think that's definitely made me what I am today. My mother and I reconciled in the last two years of her life, but even two weeks before she died we were having ferocious shouting matches. We were just not made for each other and that happened but we still loved each other. I held her as she died. So you can still experience love for someone that you just will never ever agree with. CAT: Personalities, isn't it? Everybody is an individual and you've got have your own life that you need to lead. And people need to recognise that and give freedom, don't they?

TOYAH: Yeah, but I would also say for anyone out there that nurture above everything is all that counts. If you have a child and your child pisses you off - nurture is the only thing that works. The only time I feel I've ever really had nurture is when I met my husband, who is phenomenal at nurture. And he's taught me so much about giving nurture back. It's a very, very powerful creative thing to do. And mean, I remember I phoned my mother in 1982 when I won Best Female Vocalist in what is now the Brit Awards (above). And she said, "well don't boast about, it will never happen again". And I ignored it ... and I explained what the award looks like. She says "don't fall on it - it will kill you. I mean, she did not have one good thing to say to me in 55 years.     CAT: Sounds a bit like jealousy though, to be honest ... TOYAH: She had a similar background, I think something terrible happened to her when she was young. If she'd had therapy and could talk about it we would have got over it. But I am who I am because I have been in self-defence for so long.  

I think that's made me feel a lot of empathy towards those I work with and towards my audience because I just realise how damaging negativity is and it's why I kind of don't engage personally on a daily level on social media as I've had so many years of just being pushed back all the time that my tolerance is non existent so I lose myself in my work and by bringing other people joy and that's my way of nurturing and it's hugely important to me. Hugely import. CAT: Yeah, sounds lovely. Part of that nurturing of course is releasing material, isn't it that you know that is going to partly be your legacy, but it sounds to me like it's important that it moves somebody emotionally as well? 

TOYAH: Yeah, I think I definitely agree. I think it's very important when you're writing to be truthful to yourself, but also to remember someone is going to be listening to it and I feel very responsible about that. When I've written my most intensely emotional stuff – a song on my album last year “In The Court Of The Crimson Queen” is called “Dance In The Hurricane”, which is about the loss of my parents.   And when that came out, the response was huge and I think it was just holding a mirror up and people seeing themselves. And there was recognition. So I think it's really important to write about things that help people recognise in themselves and it's taken me a long time to get there. A long time, which is why I'm pretty determined to keep writing. CAT: And in your tour with Hazel are you going to be touching upon some of this kind of material? What's that going to look like when people actually come to see you? TOYAH: I think my tour with Hazel is going be a non-stop party (they both laugh) Because of circumstance and everything. Hazel and I have a lot of hits and we both agree we’re doing the hits! But luckily my album last year was a hit so we will be doing “Dance In The Hurricane” and “Sensational” which was a single off it and other tracks. But I've had well over 14 Top 40 hits. They're gonna be in there and the same with Hazel.  

So we've already rehearsed (below). I mean, obviously we're going to have to rehearse again. We didn't expect a 2 year break or whatever, so it will be our hits. Hazel wants to open because she works in a trio. And then my band will come on and work with her. There will be an interval, then I come on and that's nothing to do with star billing. It's just the way that the sonics work at the evening. And then Hazel and I do  a set together and it's going to be absolutely wonderful. It it is going to be riotous. 

CAT: It sounds amazing. I can't wait to see it actually, I have to say, you're sold out but you must put more dates on because people are going to be listening to this thinking I've got to go to that! TOYAH: There will be tickets available because obviously we're rescheduling so everyone that's got tickets those tickets are valid, but if you can't make the date we're rescheduled to those tickets become available so it's all on my website toyahwilcox.com, two L's in Willcox. All the information and the updates are there. So if you want to come, look at the venue and see if they have availability. Because this is a very fluid experience. Everything is changing weekly so just keep informed. CAT: Yeah, keep an eye there and in the meantime they can of course buy your DVD anthology for Toyah and The Humans, can't they?

TOYAH: On the 3rd of July Toyah and The Humans is a 3 CD box set that's also going to have accompanying vinyl coming out as well. This is my very experimental art rock band with Bill Rieflin, who was the drummer in REM. It's three albums that we made together. The first album is very stripped down. I wanted to do music that was completely stripped bare and then the second album “Sugar Rush” is really rocky and it’s phenomenal. And then the third album “Strange Tales” is melodic and beautiful. And so the whole 3 albums is a kind of harmonic journey.   Also out at the moment is Toyah "Solo” and that is albums that I have released since about 1985 and that is a beautiful package. So that is “Minx”, “Desire”, “Ophelia’s Shadow”, Take The Leap!, Velvet Lined Shell”. That's a real  fan collector’s piece and also we've got “In The Court of The Crismon Queen”, so there's a lot going on. All those are on Demon, which is part of the BBC and then next year all my early albums come out. So it's kind of a huge year for me. We've got “Blue Meaning”, “Anthem”, “Sheep Farming In Barnet”, “Toyah! Toyah! Toyah!”, “The Changeling”. They’re all being re-released.

CAT: Wow, that's brilliant. And what a treat for everybody to actually be able to get their hands on those and they look amazing from what I’ve seen and also you're doing some vinyl as well, aren't you?

TOYAH: The vinyl is beautiful. Everything that I'm rereleasing is multi coloured and the vinyls are just gorgeous! Every colour in the spectrum. There's quite a lot of vinyl out there. “In The Court Of The Crimson Queen” has crimson vinyl. Toyah “Solo” each CD has a different colour of the CD. With The Humans you've got a beautiful deep egg yolk yellow. You've got a wonderful kind of chaki bright olive green and then you've got a wonderful purple colour for “Strange Tales”. It is just the most beautiful packaging. CAT: I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Toyah. Let's be honest, you’re colourful in every single way. It's absolutely wonderful. So I think people need to go on your website and have a look at all that, because there's plenty to see. Plenty to watch and obviously with you on social media is very entertaining as well. TOYAH: And there's also a lovely website which is a fan site. It’s an archive site called   toyah.net and that's phenomenal. Davie, who runs that knows more about me than I do. He knows when I'm about to do TV before I know it ... He really is ahead of the game and I love that website. So you’ve got  toyahwillcox.com and toyah.net if you really want to stay informed that's all you need see

CAT: It's all there for the taking, isn’t it? It's been a pleasure speaking to you, you’re an absolute sensation, let’s say it that way and I'm sure this is going to be a very very popular interview. So can't wait to see you when you're on tour again. I'll be there. TOYAH: Thank you! CAT: Have a lovely day and stay safe! TOYAH: OK, bye for now! CAT: Take care, bye bye! You can listen to the interview here

[thesundaymorningpost]

The Sunday Morning Post

September 3, 2017                                                          10th Edition

Current News:

Yuri on Ice: ShitBang

On August 31st, if you love Yuri on Ice, your feed may have blown up with stories and artwork created as a means for writers and artists to come together and work on a project together.

What is the Shit Bang you ask? It is an amazing event for writers and artists to come together and write and draw about the amazing anime we all love: Yuri!!! On Ice! But a little more than that this is a direct - non-hateful - response to THAT blog. You know the one I’m talking about. Yup. THAT one. - @yoi-shit-bang

The amount of stories and artwork has been astounding. From one-shots, to multi-chapters, all written by amazing authors. Then there is all the amazing artwork that has come with it, by some amazing and very talented artists.

Please keep in mind that many subjects may trigger, please read all tags before reading a story. 

Story Recommendation: we have loved the stars too fondly by @thehandsingsweapon

“We live in a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles?”

After an academic career at MIT and Oxford, Yuuri Katsuki eschews job offers at places like NASA and CERN to go work at the Very Large Array in what Phichit Chulanont lovingly calls The Actual Middle of Nowhere, New Mexico, monitoring radio frequencies from light-years away. He's loved the stars for as long as he can remember, and the universe feels so big sometimes that Yuuri is sure it would be a cruel mistake for humans to be all alone.

Enter the latest scientist to join the staff of the VLA, enigmatic Russian genius Victor Nikiforov, around whom Yuuri’s entire universe seems to bend to make room, and the strange, recurring dreams Yuuri keeps having, where something like love carries him across the stars.

Does love travel faster than light? Do souls?

“The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.”

"Yuri, on Stars!!   This lovely short story will resonate with anyone that lives the heavens.  Dreamscapes thought to be a figment of Yuuri's imagination turn out to be a more real than tangible science, and Viktor is patient with all his insecurities.  With just the right amount of angst to give it depth, this vignette will take you into the endless cosmos!" - @darkrivertempest

Artist Spotlight:

we have loved the stars too fondly by @shadhahvar

Comic:

Good boy by @floccinaucinihilipilificationa  (Click title to reblog)

Support: 

This week’s Ko-Fi shout-out goes to Discoursemoth | @lowercasewrites  (Click to buy coffee)

im sei! im a non-passing trans boy with unsupportive parents, and im using this account primarily to pay for things that could help me pass better, such as a packer and binder. you obviously dont have to donate but i would really appreciate it!                                

Patreon: YukiPri | @yukipri  (Click name to become a patreon)

Hey there!! Thanks so much for visiting my Patreon. I'm Kazu, also YukiPri on Tumblr. I'm currently a freelance translator and illustrator who is HOPING to support myself primarily through art. My passion is telling my own unique stories through visual media, and I love world-building, costume design, and overall extensively over-thinking all of my stories. This patreon is a step towards hopefully better sustaining myself off of art so I can continue to grow as a professional artist and produce content that you can enjoy! I am unbelievably grateful to every patron who helps me continue to do what I love doing. My wish is for the majority of my work to remain public, but I also desperately need to support myself, and also have a variety of content that I'm not comfortable posting publicly for various reasons. As thanks for your support, my patrons will get access to exclusive content, including WIPs/sketches, previews, art progress/tutorials, higher resolution art, early access, and nsfw content!

Fun and Games:

10 Questions Every Fic Writer Secretly Wants to be Asked by @wyseink  (Click Title to reblog)

There are a lot of fic questions that float around online, but rarely do they ever ask specific questions about the fics themselves. Ask any writer one or more of these ten questions to learn more about the fic and show support.

1. Of the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

2. Which scene was your favorite to write in [title of fic]?

3. Which part of [title] was hardest to write?

4. If you could change anything in [title], what would it be?

5. Did you make an outline for [title]? Did you stick to it?

6. Which scenes did you cut, and which were added in [title]?

7. Who was your favorite character to write in [title]?

8. Which came first, the title or the fic?

9. Which idea came to you first in [title]?

10. What are some facts readers may not know about [title]?

Story Prompt:

Monochrome by @diamondwinters An AU where people who are sad, down, depressed cannot hide it. Whenever you get sad, you start to loose your color. Your skin turns pale, your eyes loose their color, and turn gray or white, and your hair turns gray. Like an old black and white tv show, you loose all your color when you’re very sad. A little bit of sadness might dim your natural colors, but you wouldn’t loose them. It’s during a time when you feel heart broken, or very depressed that you go Monochrome. Such as a big break up, a death of a loved one, deep depression, etc. Monochrome is the medical term used by the doctors in this AU to describe turning gray in a world of color.

Some people who are unable to get happy, may use make-up, contacts, and hair color to hide the fact that they’re depressed, but eventually even those things will loose their color and will need to be replaced.

The best thing to do is to find your happiness. Be with friends, and family who can help you bring your color back. The brighter you are, the more vivid your colors are, the happier you are.

Art Prompt:

Imagine your OTP by @bumble-beany

Person A: Are you awake?                                         

Person B: I am now                                         

Person A: I was just wondering...                                         

Person A: What do you think it'd be like to be a pregnant male seahorse?

Person B: Really?! You woke me up for that?

W.I.P. Motivation:

Liquor Stash by @severeminx​

I want him.

When the full realization hit him, Yuri felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Detached and fleeting thoughts that had passed through his mind finally took shape in these three words at that exact moment. The I being himself, Yuri Plisetsky, age 17, a Russian figure skater with a list of impressive accomplishments to his name that seemed pretty pointless right now given the context. The want being desire, the need to bury himself, the thought to consume, but never actually act out except behind locked doors in empty beds or shower stalls. The him being the person standing across from Yuri sipping coffee from a take-away cup with creased brows, the low sunlight hitting his face just so to light up his otherwise dark eyes. Someone he considered to be his best friend, who came all the way from Almaty just to spend a week with him and who was blissfully unaware of the fucking turmoil Yuri was feeling in the pit of his stomach. Or at least, Yuri hoped he was unaware.

In which Yuri Plisetsky invites Otabek Altin over to stay with him in Saint Petersburg, freaks out over his feelings and delves into Lilia's liquor stash.

Please go read and support this artist. They are looking for kudos and comments to get them back into finishing this fantastic story!

Fandom Week:  (Click each line to go to blog)

Zarkon Week! September 3rd - 9th.

Yuri on Ice Music Week! September 4th - 11th

NSFW Yuri Plisetsky Week! September 11th - 17th.

Guang-Hong Week! Voting will be Sept 15th - 21st

SeungChuchu Week! October 16th - 23rd.

Help Wanted:

Needed: Tumblr theme editor. Please contact Diamond Winters for details.

Story recommendations!! If you find a story that you absolutely love, and you want to see it get some recognition, please submit a link to it with a 2-3 sentence review of the story. This way it could get in the spotlight in a future edition of the SMP. Requirements are that it’s completed, or a one-shot.

Artist Spotlight!! If you find a piece of artwork that needs more love, please submit a link to it so it may be considered for future spotlights in the future.

WIP Motivation: Please send your support to these writers or artist to encourage them to continue their story or artwork. No good story or piece of art should be left unfinished. - If you know of a good story that hasn’t been updated in a while, and would like to offer encouragement to the author, please let me know, so that I can link to their story here.

If there is ever any section of the Sunday Morning Post that you feel you can contribute too, please send an Ask or Submit to either the SMP, or @d2diamond so that it has a chance at making in a future post. Thank you!  

@yoi-shit-bang | @thehandsingsweapon | @darkrivertempest | @shadhahvar | @floccinaucinihilipilificationa | @lowercasewrites | @yukipri | @wyseink | @diamondwinters | @bumble-beany | @severeminx

[thegeruvian-blog]

Tech Tips And Methods

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[sleepykittypaws]

Greyson Family Christmas

Original Airdate: December 8, 2019 (Bounce TV) Where to Watch?: Bounce has re-aired it a number of times, and will do so again Dec. 24 and Dec. 25 of this year, and likely in future seasons as well

So, I didn’t even know that Bounce TV, which is available on many cable systems, Dish network and as a digital sub-channel in many areas, was a thing, but when I found they had made two original Christmas movies for 2019 (and one last year too, which I didn’t know at the time), I felt like I should try and check out at least one out this season. (Here’s where to find Bounce in your area, which I include not as an ad, but because I know I needed it.)

Greyson Family Christmas, directed by Lisa France, stars Kalilah Harris, Karson Kern, Stan Shaw and Robinne Lee, as well as quite a few other strong actors—for instance, the great Carol Sutton as Gran. Seriously, that a movie I know must have been quite low budget could get this strong a cast—even those I was unfamiliar with were really good—is a testament to the fact that inexpensively made doesn’t have to equal amateurish acting.

Harris’ Maya is bringing her boyfriend (Kern as Trent) home from college to meet her activist, liberal family, as well as her conservative Aunt and Uncle who live next door. She has failed to mention to them that Trent is white. And also doesn't inform Trent of that omission till they’re knocking on the door.

Based on the set-up, I sort of expected a broad family comedy, but instead this was a nuanced, well-written and well-acted family drama that touched on serious subjects with more depth than I ever would have imagined from both a made-for-TV Christmas movie and the trailer. I can’t locate a screenwriting credit, but kudos to whoever authored this well-done script. (UPDATE: IMDb now lists J.J. Jamieson as the screenwriter, a credit not available when I first wrote this review.)

Yes, it is Guess Who’s Coming to Christmas Dinner, as one of the characters themselves spells out, but it’s a much stronger version of that than I ever would have expected from a little-known channel’s original production.

For example, immediately after that awkward intro, Maya promptly apologizes to Trent for putting him in the situation and, like a real couple would, they strategize together on how to win over Maya’s skeptical family, one by one. 

Heck, even the various member's personality exposition dump at the beginning feels fairly organic, thanks to a believable travel conversation where she’s making sure her boyfriend knows what to expect from her family…Except that they don’t know his race, of course, which she does try to tell them on the phone, in another scene that was far better written and more subtle than I would have expected.

While this is also fully G-rated in terms of sexual content—as in, there is none at all—Maya and Trent do have a couple brief moments where they seem like what they’re supposed to be: 20-somethings in love, awkwardly holding back their horniness because they’re in her parents’ house.

All of the characters, including Trent, are written as refreshingly multi-dimensional, with realistic motivation for their actions. There’s chemistry between Harris and Kern that not only make them believable as a couple, but also allow them to be imperfect to each other, without being off-putting. The story is as much about going away to college and forging your own identity, which might deviate from what your parents envisioned for you, as it is about race, though (at least from my perspective as a clueless white girl), that’s handled pretty well, too. 

Trent, for sure, says plenty of stuff that made me cringe, but the explaination of why claiming to be “colorblind” is actually an insult is (eventually) addressed as effectively and efficiently as I’ve ever seen it. 

I thought the dynamic of him growing up working class, and her clearly affluent was a nice twist, and there were plenty of moments of levity that felt earned, like when Trent first glimpses Maya’s ex and says, “That tall handsome guy over there? Great.” 

Or, when Shaw’s “Uncle Doc" first jokes around with him, and then turns serous, while he undergoes a dental procedure. Naturalistic humor that worked, without feeling jokey.

There’s also some fantastic intrafamily scenes, particularly with Shaw and Lee as in-laws who don’t always see eye-to-eye, but clearly feel great love for each other, and Sutton and Harris. (The families are also dealing with the loss of Maya’s father to cancer.)

Kern is believable (and looks like) the sometimes clueless college boyfriend, but  you can also see why someone as smart and focused as Maya would have fallen for him. While I wanted her to speak up sooner in his defense at the movie’s climax—like right away at the dinner table, even if it was still after he left—I think they made her standing up for herself, and her relationship, work well when it did come a little bit later, and the inability to speak her mind to her mother had been well established by that point. Do wish they’d let Harris wear her much prettier natural hair though. Even though the contrast to her upbringing was clearly intentional, the wig they used was not great in a way that was distracting.

Yes, the ending was too pat, but the "find this white boy” stuff via black social media, was pretty cute, since they didn’t overplay what could have been hokey. (Not that the airport wouldn’t have been his most likely location regardless, but whatever.) And while the final family stuff seemed a little saccharine under the circumstances, the conversation between Maya and Trent got me in the feels, just as her earlier speech to her family had.

There were a couple of jarring edits (cuts for time, most likely), that left a few loose ends, but all in all, this reminded me of my favorite from last season, Every Other Holiday. Not in content, but that it wasn’t at all what I was expecting going in, but turned out to be a really good, well-written movie that felt both holiday sweet, yet firmly grounded in reality.

This was my first brush with a Bounce original movie, but I’ll definitely be on the lookout for more of their holiday stuff in the future. 

Final Judgement: 4 Paws Up

[whimsyful-moved]

anyway, mary sues aren’t real and uncle al is gonna tell you all why

this got really fucking long so go under the cut

so let’s get this out of the way: the whole concept is bullshit, and i’m sure i’ll be told i’m reaching on this, but it’s sexist. i know that people bring up gary stus, but like. come the sweet fuck on. how often do you see that? i don’t doubt it happens, because of course it does, but the main brunt of ~criticism~ is thrown at girl characters. i would say it’s thrown at girls AND femmes, but we all know that nonbinary characters get fucking ignored. it happens to them, though, so. keep that in mind.

anyway, back on track. the whole concept is sexist, we’ve got that. it’s also obnoxious and sad to see.

when i was younger, like when i was a little ass kid new to the internet and new to writing publicly, my characters weren’t great. not by any stretch of the imagination. they were filled with idealism, they were representation for a character i didn’t get to see in media often. and by the way, i’d like to remind you that i’m white -- and if i felt underrepresented, kids of color were in a fucking representation drought. i was also a deep-in-the-closet Queer Ass, so that contributed to it, too. to top it off, i was also pretty mentally ill!! which, surprise surprise, led to some loneliness! so, think about that: a lonely ass kid who wanted something to relate to. lots of kids felt exactly like i did, and a lot of them felt worse than i did.

some of us, though, were writers. some of us turned to roleplaying or storytelling, and made our own characters to work out the complex feelings and fantasies we didn’t really know how to deal with at the time. a lot of us made... uh, really bad OCs. like, really bad. really bad. we didn’t really know how to write at the time, and we didn’t know exactly how characterization worked, technically, so we just went with our guts and had fun. we created characters that had better things going on than we did. it was fun!

until we learned the term mary sue, that is.

sidenote: i used to be that kid who hated what i thought were ‘mary sues’. whenever anyone defended them, i would get super pissed because how dare you defend someone just trying to have a good time! looking back on it now, it had a lot to do with jealousy. i was pissed they were having a good time with their writing while i worried about what other people would think of my character, to the point where i made husks who never received development, because i was too scared to develop them into something too ‘perfect.’

the original term is ‘mary sue’ -- defined as “an original character in fan fiction, usually but not always female, who for one reason or another is deemed undesirable by fan critics. A character may be judged Mary Sue if she is competent in too many areas, is physically attractive, and/or is viewed as admirable by other sympathetic characters” by Fanlore. this is the nice definition, by the way.

so, let’s look at this. this is taking a very thesis paper-esque turn but i promise i won’t break out google scholar. maybe. we’ll see. anyway.

PART ONE: TOO TALENTED

competent in too many areas. see, even when i was bitter fifteen-year-old, i kind of didn’t get this one. how many people have you met who were only good at one thing? off the top of my head, i can name, like, zero. even shitty people tend to be good at more than one thing. sometimes, these things can be related -- like if you’re good at guitar, you might be good at another instrument, like piano -- or they can be completely unrelated -- like, someone is amazing at makeup and is also a chemist. people tend to be good at a lot of stuff. i know of a fuckton of people who can sing, draw, write, play an instrument (or multiple instruments), are funny, can dance, and the list goes on. these are real people, by the way. i used to have a friend who was a gymnast, a singer, a piano player, an artist, a painter, amazing with animals, great at making friends... and she was good at all of these things, guys. if a real person can be good at a fuckton of things, why can’t a fictional character?

oh, right. because heaven forbid girls be good at more than one thing at a time.

there are so many multi-talented guys in media. i’m sure you can all name at least one savant male character. there are girl savants, too, but uh... everyone usually hates them. not shocking.

if real people can be filled with talent in multiple areas, so can a fictional character. so can an OC. it’s not unrealistic -- it’s ~unrealistic~ to have someone be good at one fucking thing.

PART TWO: PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE

this one is a fucking riot, because it’s so arbitrary. sorry, what is too physically attractive? like, come the fuck on. this one pisses me off the most because it’s not about how the OC looks, it’s about the fact that other people acknowledge it. if you have more than one character -- god forbid, more than one CANON character! -- acknowledge your OC’s beauty, she’s a mary sue. you’re thrown into the depths of mary sue hell. even if they don’t get together, which is a sin above all other sins, sorry, but you’re already done for. they already had a passing thought of “oh damn, she’s hot.”

now, yes, i will say that reading paragraphs of clothing descriptions and of how gorgeous a character is is boring as fuck. i get it. why do you think i have yet to read the odyssey? 

but i have an idea for you. it may blow your mind.

who fucking cares?

i know. how succinct. who fucking cares that someone is writing some elaborate fantasy? who. cares. out of all the things in the world, that is hurting people the least. let someone write a whole eighteen paragraphs about how much naruto wants to bone their OC or self insert. who is it hurting? absolutely no one. who fucking cares, m8. who actually cares.

also, if you don’t think my gay ass is always gonna call all of my OCs hot, you’re wrong. do you think i pick these faceclaims for your sake? no. it’s because i want to look at a/ubrey p/laza as much as possible. duh.

PART THREE: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

“viewed as admirable by other sympathetic characters.”

what in the sweet fuck does that even mean. okay, i know what it means, but abstractly: what does it mean?

oh wait. i know.

it means that if ANY OTHER CHARACTERS LIKE YOUR CHARACTER YOU CAN EAT GARBAGE

sorry fucko, does good ol uh. does good ol johnny bravo have a poster of your OC on his wall? is your OC in any way remarkable? does your OC have a storied history that would lead other characters to know about your OC? sorry, but it’s just not realistic.

the first rule of OC making is to be miserable. remember kids, if your character isn’t acknowledged by a publishing firm or animated on your favorite cable channel, your character is basically not real. keep this in mind, because it’s the reason why CANON CHARACTERS CAN NEVER EVER EVER KNOW YOUR OC.

EVER.

EVER.

for some reason, this is the crime people hate the most. in roleplay, you shouldn’t assume your character knows another character unless you and the other mun have talked before. you also shouldn’t push relationships onto other characters.

but OCs are the only ones who people assume will do this, because why would a canon ever do something so silly? they won’t they it, but it’s because people view canons as artistically superior to OCs. obviously. it’s really funny, because in the past, it hasn’t been OCs who pushed shit onto me. i know, right? i, a lowly OC maker, has been treated badly by a canon writer -- it’s kind of like saying that i, a peasant, was pursued by a king.

in fanfiction, though, this whole rule is extra silly. there’s only one writer, usually, so no one is getting treated badly. but if an author writes that their OC is perhaps more famous than the main canon character, that’s basically the worst, because no one can be BETTER than the canon main character. people will throw a fit about this. i’ve seen it happen. you probably have, too.

oh, and it doesn’t have to be so major. even if your OC is tangentially related to a canon character, it’s still bad writing. OCs are, like children, meant to be seen, not heard. except they’re not meant to be seen, either, they’re meant to appear briefly and leave as soon as possible. that’s a good OC.

it’s really funny -- it’s not considered bad to have harr/y p/otter and d/raco m/alfoy be secret lovers for the entirety of the series in your fanfiction, but throw in an OC better than h/arry (or h/erminone) and suddenly we need to start being realistic, guys.

PART FOUR: THE CONCLUSION

mary sues aren’t real. stop calling things mary sues, stop targeting OCs all the time, and if you care so much about bad writing, why not be consistent with it? some of your (and my) shows have fucking garbage writing and character development, but people are still able to love them, somehow. it’s transparent as fuck when you only target small creators and not huge businesses who are making money off of your so-called “dedication to good literature.”

to the OC creators reading this, you don’t have to be scared of making a character who is ‘too perfect.’ have fun. if you want to make a self-insert, do it. if you want to make a character who is completely fantastical, do it. you’re allowed, and it’s okay to just have fun with writing. you’re allowed to love your characters. your creations are just as worthy as published creations.

anyway. i’m tired of writing this, and i’m gonna just. slam that post button. this got uh. really long. anyway bye