#I love bad buddy a completely normal amount

[samkerrworshipper]

replaced

sam kerr x sister!reader

um i wrote a fic? sorry for the chelsea fans but i simply couldnt make this solely chelsea. glad that i could please the SK fans tho yall are patient and queens! hope you all enjoy and lmk what else you might want to see in the future 👀 love you all!

warnings: none? that i’m aware of !

There was something completely all-consuming about the thought of a tiny alien growing inside of a body. It made you uncomfortable, thinking about a tiny human with a deformed body and underdeveloped everything just existing inside of a person. To put it lightly, it freaked you out. It was possibly the best birth control for a 16-year-old seeing firsthand what it looked like when a baby kicked or hearing the sounds of first-trimester morning sickness. You’d made it very clear to your sister that yes, whilst you were willing to babysit once the deformed fetus entered the world and was slightly less deformed, you would take some responsibilities. You wanted nothing to do with it until it made its grand entrance into the world. 

That didn’t change the fact that yours, your sister’s, and your sister’s fiancé’s lives had very quickly come to revolve solely around your future niece or nephew in a very short amount of time. Normally, it wouldn’t bother you in the slightest. If anything, you were usually doing anything and everything to get Sam and Kristie to leave you alone, but there was something different about their attention completely revolving around the life that the two of them were building together. 

It hadn’t mattered truly when they’d missed your parent-teacher interviews for an anatomy scan or missed your first training with the senior Chelsea team because Kristie had woken up with such bad morning sickness that she hadn’t been able to leave the bathroom for hours, or when you’d had to walk 3 miles from school to the training grounds because your sister had been up so late trying to make Kristie comfortable enough to sleep that she’d completely forgotten that she was supposed to pick you up early on a Thursday so you didn’t miss training. 

None of it mattered individually, but altogether, it made a difference. 

It had been a big decision moving halfway across the world to live with your sister at 15. You were a good football player, you weren’t anywhere near the prodigy of your sister, but if you wanted to make strides in your career, it was the best decision to move to London to play in the academy. It didn’t make the decision any easier; you were moving in with your sister that you’d essentially not known for most of your childhood. Too wrapped up in her own career in other countries to spend any time with you. Yet the moment it had even been an option, she was ecstatic at the idea of you joining her in London, taking you under her wing, and truly welcoming you into the tight-knit family that Kristie and her had built in London. 

It was good, it was so good. You had made advancements in your football that you didn’t think were possible; school was good, and for once in your life, you felt like you were actually in a place where you were fully understood and at peace. 

It had been perfect, until Sam had torn her ACL a couple of months into your stay, and then things had gone downhill. It wasn’t anything you couldn’t deal with; in terms of the footballing aspect of your life, it was definitely tough. You didn’t have your training buddy or your person to help you settle into the club that still kind of terrified you. On the flip side, you got to spend a whole lot more one-on-one time with your sister, and her girlfriend was there to cater to all of your football needs. After the initial impacts of her surgery, life had mostly gone back to normal; sure, your sister wasn’t there physically on the pitch with you, but she was there to support you in every other way. 

Then, the idea of a baby had been mentioned. 

It wasn’t alarm bells from the beginning. At first, it had mostly seemed like an idea for the future, not near future. Of course, they wanted to start a family, and of course, you wanted that for them. It just hadn’t been made clear to you that it was a plan for the present. Until you’d been sitting on the couch on a movie night, and a gift bag had been thrust into your hands. The both of them had the goofiest smiles on their faces that you’d known that something had been up. You just hadn’t expected a positive pregnancy test to be the source of the excitement. 

Initially, not much had changed. The pregnancy was so early on that the biggest worry was an early miscarriage and making sure that the three of you didn’t let the information slip too early. 

It had been completely fine. Life had kept on moving, until the symptoms had started. 

First, it was a bit of exhaustion, then some vomiting, headaches, nausea, more vomiting, migraines, insomnia, every possible pregnancy symptom you could think of. Kristie was afflicted by every possible pregnancy symptom. 

You felt bad. Here, two of your favourite people were trying to start a family, and it was starting off as hell. 

Then the feelings of sympathy had very quickly turned into resentment and then into isolation. 

You resented the fact that you didn’t feel at home anymore. There was nothing homey about the situation you were living in. You felt like in a number of fleeting weeks you had gone from feeling on top of the world to feeling like you no longer belonged in the life that you’d so recently settled into. 

It was a rough realisation to come to that you were no longer wanted, that you were being replaced. 

It was a slow process, but it was easy to figure out when you were and weren’t wanted, and in the picture-perfect future life of your sister and her fiancé, it was clear that you weren’t. 

You were 17, you were on the cusp of being an adult, you just hadn’t expected to be thrust into your independent adulthood so early on. A shiny new baby was going to replace you, and once that happened you were going to be even more unwanted than you already felt before it was introduced to the world. 

Whilst you knew that your mood was being affected by the neglect you were suffering, it was all too easy to blame it on the exams you were going through for your last year of school, or the slight injury setbacks that were keeping you from your first minutes for the blues, or the fact that you were a teenager with fluctuating moods. You didn’t expect your slightly off interactions or slightly less happy demeanor to be a warning sign for anybody, specifically the people closest to you. Your performance on the training pitch had been as good as usual, you’d been saying all the right things, acting in all the right ways even though you actively felt like a stranger in the apartment and life you’d once felt like was home. 

You’d managed to allude to all of the people closest to you, it just hadn’t occurred to you that people on the outside would notice your slightly off behaviour. 

Lucy was one person at the club who was newer than you, even though you didn’t necessarily fit in with all the older girls due to the age disparity it was common knowledge that you were an extension of your sister, people who were friends with Sam were friends of yours. It was a little bit embarrassing that in hindsight most of the people were only friends with you as a result of your last name but it was easier to just accept it. 

Lucy was one person that wasn’t particularly close with your sister, on no means were they enemies, they just didn’t hang out with the same people. If Sam and her didn’t interact on the regular then neither did you, that was just how it worked. 

It’s why you’d been a little bit surprised when she’d asked you to be her spotting partner in the gym. A few sets in, though, it had become abundantly clear that Lucy had ulterior motives. 

“So what does a kid like you do nowadays to have a little bit of fun, uh?”

You weren’t sure if spotting for Lucy was much help at all. There was absolutely zero possibility that if she failed, you were going to be able to lift the weight that she was pressing. The ease with which she did it all was shocking and enough of a focus for you. 

“Play soccer for one of the best teams in England.”

Lucy laughs, even though all you’re doing is being honest. Between school, football, and trying to live up to the expectations of your sister, you don’t have time for ‘fun’.

“It must be hard, having so much pressure on you, so young?”

You shake your head. You don’t think of it that way. Pressure is privilege. That’s what your mom had taught you, and then your brother, and now your sister. Pressure is what had made you good enough to be where you were. 

“It’s more pressure trying to decide what to have for breakfast in the morning than coming here every day.”

Lucy finishes her set and sits up, looking at you in a way that makes you feel like you have to ask. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Her tongue pushes against the inside of her cheek, and you get the feeling that you’re going to be told something you don’t want to hear. 

“You’ve been acting differently lately, spacey, less present. I’m just wondering if there is any particular reason.”

You focus on switching the weights from Lucy’s bar to yours and lying down on the bench she’d previously occupied. 

“I don’t know what would give you that impression.”

You focus on your set, and Lucy uses it as an excuse to stare at you in the exact same way she had been all morning. 

“You look like a kicked puppy all the time. You’re less happy, less comfortable. You look like you’re on edge all the time.”

It’s a list of traits that probably suit you. You’ll admit that you’ve been less than enthusiastic in recent times, but you hadn't thought it had been extremely noticeable. Sam hadn’t noticed, not that she noticed much about you anymore. 

“Didn’t realise you were so focused on the team protege, Bronzey.”

Like Sam, you were a pro in humorous deflection, yet when you spoke it came off with an unfamiliar edge that made you uncomfortable. 

“I’m worried about one of my teammates and friends because they’re exhibiting behaviours that are unfamiliar for them and no one else seems to be noticing.”

You finish your set and focus on drinking from your water bottle and not making too much eye contact with Lucy. 

“Lot of big words coming from you, Luce.”

Lucy’s determination doesn’t fade. She looks at you the same way. 

“So it’s not football. I’m going to make an educated guess that it’s not school. You’re going to be an aunt and you’ve got a good family situation. What is it?”

You must flinch, even if you don’t feel it. You must because Lucy’s eyes light up. 

“So it’s Kerr household issues then?”

You focus on finishing your set again. You focus on the feeling of your arms pushing and relaxing, the feeling of all your muscles stretching and slackening. 

“You know you can talk to me about it. I might not have the best advice, but I won’t judge you or go and tell your sister about it or anything.”

You finish the set, and all that’s on your mind is that you have one more to go. One more and you can remove yourself from whatever this awkward conversation is and go and hide in some other corner like normal. 

“I don’t know what makes you think it’s any of your business.”

You’re three reps in, nowhere near failure, yet on the next one, Lucy takes over and pulls the bar up and onto the rack. 

Before you can have a go at her, she sits down next to you on the bench, and for whatever reason, puts an arm around your shoulder. It makes you incredibly uncomfortable, and you flinch away almost immediately, but Lucy doesn’t shy away. 

“Look, whether it’s from a teammate to another teammate, or a friend to a friend, or whatever you feel most comfortable calling it. You don’t seem like you’re doing okay. If I can tell, it’s not going to be long before other people figure it out. I don’t really know you properly, but you seem like a good kid. You also don’t seem like the kind of person who likes to be vulnerable in front of people you don’t trust. If you don’t let go of whatever has clearly been bothering you, then that’s probably the inevitable if you don’t talk to somebody about it or get it off your chest. That person by no means has to be me or anyone else here. Just think about it, okay? You’re not alone. I can’t imagine how hard it would be playing here and everyone constantly making you feel like you were in your sister’s shadow. You aren’t just your sister, though. People around here like you beyond that, and they’re here to support you beyond that. You aren’t your last name.”

You’d be a liar if you said that Lucy’s words didn’t hit you a little bit, but you didn’t let her see that. You shook her arm off you and rolled your eyes. 

“You have no fucking clue what it’s like to be me. Don’t try and make it out like you understand.”

Before she could say anything else that remotely played on your heartstrings, you walked away, dragging your drink bottle and gear off to the other side of the gym and settling into whatever exercises for your ankle strength. 

You didn’t like to admit it, but what Lucy said to you resonated with you for the rest of the day. It had you in your head, thinking about it over and over again. You were second-guessing everything, and it translated out onto the pitch. In training, you were sloppy, to the point of nearly injuring yourself due to a lack of awareness. If you were trying to prove that you were over your setbacks, then it was a clear testament to the opposite. You were evidently a shit show. It was what was expected of you. You were a teenager. You were expected to crash out, to not be able to live up to the constant expectations of being a professional every day. You were falling into the one stereotype that you spent every minute of every day trying to claw away from. Already consumed by the reality of your stupifying family situation and adding on self-doubt about your every action was a whole new mind game that you’d never truly experienced. 

There was one part about what Lucy had said that had stuck with you the most. If you didn’t get it off your chest soon, it was inevitable that you were going to let it slip in far worse ways, and that was a slippery slope you had no intention of going down. 

It wasn’t surprising that your sister wasn’t there to pick you up after training had finished. There was a slew of excuses that trumped you. You were used to being forgotten. As the reality of new life being brought into the Kerr household became more real, it only felt like you were fading further. 

You didn’t want to go home, not to a place where you actively felt like an impostor. You didn’t have many people to lean on, though. As much as Lucy tried to make it out like you were an individual person at Chelsea, you weren’t. You were Sam Kerr’s younger sister, the baby of the family, the nepotism sister, riding on your sister’s success and reaping whatever benefits came from it. You were a complete result of your sister, stuck in a never-ending cycle of following her footsteps. 

In Australia, you’d had individuality, your parents’ sole focus. Your football wasn’t as good, but you hadn’t questioned your existence or how you fitted into spaces. Yet in England, or with your sister, you had to second-guess everything, were forced to feel like you didn’t belong anywhere. 

You didn’t want to go home. 

There weren’t a lot of people in London you could call. A couple of months ago, Kristie was your go-to person for when your sister was tied up with her stuff, but with the baby on the way, Kristie’s sole focus had been shifted. You didn’t matter in comparison. Sam’s friends were like family, but they weren’t your family; they were people that had to like you because you lived with Sam and were with her all the time. You hadn’t made many friends at Chelsea; it didn’t seem important in retrospect. It left you with a handful of people. You could always call your mum or someone else in the family, but it seemed pointless in that there would be no outcome. So you called the only person that was really left. 

It had been a long shot; St Albans wasn’t exactly in close proximity to Cobham, but you felt like you were at a crossroads. 

You’d had to wait outside in the cold for a while, but it wasn’t awfully long until Caitlin pulled up in front of the training grounds. Before you could second-guess your decision-making, you got into her car, buckling your seatbelt before looking at her. 

���Just drive, I’ll exp   n later.”

Caitlin got the message and pulled her car into drive before heading back onto the highway. 

“Where we going? Yours? Mine? An airport?”

It was hard not to laugh at the predicament. 

“Just yours.”

The rest of the car ride was silent; it was good, it was hard for you to slot every feeling into place, but it was good to think about it all. You felt like a whirlwind of feelings, a big spiral of never-ending emotions that were completely nonsensical. 

By the time you get to Caitlin’s house, not much was making any more sense, but you felt less panicked. You walked from the car into her house in the same silence that had stretched between the two of you the whole car trip. In through the front door, into the kitchen, and sat down at the island when Caitlin pointed at one of the seats. You felt like you were cemented to the seat, all of the weight of the day, or really the last few weeks, was weighing you down like there were rocks stuffed in your pockets. You felt heavy, filled with all of the uncertainties. 

Caitlin pushed a glass of water towards you, and you took it gratefully. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

You’d been around Caitlin practically since birth. As a kid growing up, you hadn’t wanted to be around your sister; it had always been her best friend that had lit up your face. She was your sister’s best friend, but in every way, she was a sister to you; you’d spent every moment of your childhood following the two around and every waking moment with them when they were around. 

“I can’t just spend an afternoon with my favourite auntie?”

Caitlin rolled her eyes, reaching over the table to ruffle your hair. 

“Of course, you can, dickhead, but that doesn’t mean that you are. Something’s up, and if you called me, then that means you want to talk about it because it has something to do with Sam.”

Were you really that easy to read? First, Lucy, and now Caitlin. You were beginning to doubt your abilities to keep all of your cards to your chest. 

“That’s some creepy shit; you should become some mindreader.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes at you. 

“Tell me about it; I can’t do anything in this house without her sniffing it out.”

You turned your head to see Katie standing in the doorway of the kitchen, smiling at you, but mostly at Caitlin. 

“Ya didn’t tell me mini kerr was coming over.”

You tried to stop the way your face flinched at the sound of your last name. You didn’t know why in recent times it had begun to bother you so much. It was just so synonymous with your sister. Every time you heard it or saw it on your jersey, it was a clear sign of the one thing you were becoming most afraid of. You weren’t living up to it or living the life of it. 

“Just wanted to spend some time with my favourite derby losers.”

Katie’s reaction is visceral. Her face moves into something of pure disgust. 

“That kind of slander is just not acceptable in this house. You want to embrace your Chel-shit culture? Keep it away from our house. We’re going to have to sage the bad vibes away now. Do a full cleanse.”

At a point in your life, you’d never felt less Chelsea than you did right now. The thought of the club put you on the brink of dissociation. 

“Katie, can you please go get some pasta? We’re all out, and I’m making bolognese for dinner.”

It was a cue. You were sure of it because as soon as the words left Caitlin’s mouth, Katie was nodding dutifully and off and out of sight. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s up or keep dodging around it?”

With your lip between your teeth and so much uncertainty, you nodded. There wasn’t much point in keeping it all in when you’d come here with the inadvertent intention to offload some of it. 

“Sam doesn’t want anything to do with me. When I got here, it was hard. We made it work, and she tried to make me fit in with her life as it was, but it never quite felt right. But with the baby now, there’s no pretending. I’m not a part of her life, and she doesn’t want to pretend that I am anymore. And I’m sick of waiting in the background, hoping she’ll get her shit together and remember that I’m part of her life. She doesn’t care about me, and I can’t handle it anymore.”

Caitlin’s expressions are schooled. They are most of the time, but she doesn’t give anything at all away. 

“Your sister loves you a lot. I’m not invalidating what you’re feeling. I am sure that you’re right. She loves you though. Before you came here, all she ever talked about was wanting to spend more time with you, going back to see you, Facetiming you.”

You shake your head. You didn’t come here to be told that you’re loved. You came here to feel a little bit less chained down. 

“No, she doesn’t, or she doesn’t show it remotely. She doesn’t pick me up from school. She forgets me or stopped caring because she’s busy looking after Kristie or busy being worried about the baby, stressing about the baby. It’s all they talk about. It’s all they care about. It’s the shiny new toy, and I’m the old one at the back of the wardrobe that’s all broken and disgusting. I’m the last option. I’m the last option at Chelsea, the last option at home, the last option for everybody, and I can’t physically handle it. I’m done constantly being left on the fucking sidelines of life whilst everybody else plays.”

Caitlin nods. She listens. It’s what you need. You just need to feel listened to. 

“Your sister should be focusing more on you. She doesn’t realise that you didn’t move for independence like she did. When we moved for football for the first time, it was because we finally wanted independence. We wanted freedom. We wanted to feel like adults. You want to feel supported, want to feel like you’re a part of a family. You’re feeling that whilst your sister is simultaneously beginning to start her own family, and that’s scary. I would be scared by that if I were you. You’re seeing the cementation of new roots, and in your eyes, you don’t fit into the foundation that they’re building. There’s one thing that hasn’t changed about your sister since we were 18, and that is the fact that she’s a little bit unobservant. She doesn’t do small feelings. She does the big ones. She doesn’t understand the anxieties that you’re experiencing because she doesn’t experience them. Also, whether you want to admit it or not, I think you might be a little bit jealous of this baby. You didn’t get to spend your childhood with your sister. That was stripped from you when she moved away. This baby gets all the attention and all the love and doesn’t get left behind, and that’s tough.”

You are a little dumbstruck for words. It’s been hard to pinpoint all of your feelings, and yet Caitlin has just laid them all out in front of you.

“I’m not jealous of the fetus.”

Caitlin snorts, a proper snort that has you in fits of giggles. 

“Not even a little bit?” 

You shake your head defiantly. It’s easier to deny than admit it. 

“Because think about it. This time you’re like the older sister. That kid won’t want to be spending time with Kristie and Sam. It’ll be fawning over you from day one. Babies take a village. I know you feel on the outs right now, but when that baby comes, it’ll change.”

It’s easy to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but in your opinion, there really isn’t. You can’t see any future where you feel any less of a misfit. 

“It’s not just Sam though. It’s everywhere. I don’t have friends, not at Chelsea. I’m my sister’s shadow, I always have been, but since the move, it’s been worse. I can’t make friends at school. I’m there purely to go to class, and I miss half of them anyways. Everyone at Chelsea sees me as my sister. I’m just an extension of her. Everything I do that is any good is because of her. Nobody can see past it.”

Caitlin didn’t have a quick answer for you. Your eyes burned with angry, hot tears. They were yet to spill, but they were on the brink, and it was impossible to ignore. 

“I can’t get away from my sister’s shadow, and it would be fine if I felt like I was a byproduct of her, if she spent every waking moment helping me be that way. But she hasn’t. It’s all been me. It’s been my hard work, my own push. Sure, she’s helped me into environments that have made me better, but it’s been my hard work. She hasn’t done shit, and yet all anybody says is that I’m good because of her, that I’m just a result of my sister’s influence. I’ll always be a shadow of her to everyone, even her.”

It’s a cathartic feeling. The tears slip down your face. You push and scratch at your cheeks, trying to remove the evidence, but it’s obvious. It’s ugly. It’s everything that’s been building. 

Caitlin doesn’t say anything. She just walks around the counter and gives you a big hug. 

“You are a lot more than your sister, and if people don’t recognise that, then you should be getting away from that, taking a break. You deserve to feel like your own person because you are.”

You don’t have anything left to say. You’ve laid it all out, and it feels good, but there isn’t any change. Venting is good, but when you’re going to go back to it all, it doesn’t truly matter. You’re stuck in the prison of your life, and there is no escaping. 

“I’m sure you’re exhausted. How about you go and take a nap before dinner? Refresh and let your mind rest, and we can regroup, okay? I promise you we can find a solution to some of this.”

You nod; you are feeling tired. It’s been hard to sleep at the apartment with Kristie constantly getting up during the night to hurl her guts. 

Caitlin’s guest room is warm, it’s nice, it’s virtually the same as your room at home, and yet it feels so much more welcoming. It doesn’t take you long to drift off. 

When you wake up, it’s very clear that quite a few hours have passed. Not only is it completely black, but the sleep in your eyes and fogginess in your head is enough of an indicator that what was going to be a quick nap had turned into something a lot longer. The edges of your vision are hazy and blurred as you blink your way back into consciousness. You don’t want to get up, not at all. It would be so much easier to just stay where you are, forever. Just stay lying in bed and warm and cozy, comfortable. You didn’t get to where you were today, though, by allowing yourself to be comfortable. 

So begrudgingly, you pulled yourself out of the bed, still dressed head to toe in a Chelsea tracksuit and hoodie. It really did feel illegal amongst all of the Arsenal memorabilia in every corner, and on every wall of the house, it only made you feel like more of a dichotomy. 

Your stomach began to rumble as you walked down the stairs to the kitchen. You were sure that you must have missed dinner but hoped that maybe something had been left aside to tide you over. 

You could hear murmurs coming from the kitchen, and in your state of half-awakeness, you’d put it down as being Caitlin and Katie. 

You were off guard, and that’s why you’d been more shocked than you thought possible when you walked into the kitchen and your sister was seated in the exact same place you’d been sat a couple of hours ago. Immediately, both Caitlin and your sister’s eyes were on you, them both seeming just as surprised as you. 

You were ready to bolt, but Caitlin’s voice stopped you.

“Your sister came to talk to you. She was worried when you weren’t home tonight for dinner.”

You roll your eyes, if you’d moved out a month ago Sam wouldn’t have noticed. 

“We haven’t had dinner together in months, don’t lie to my face. You called her, you fucking called her, I trsuted you with something and you called her.”

Sam looked like she was going to butt in but Caitlin stopped her. 

“Okay, yes I called her. Because I was worried but also mad and I wanted to fix that. I’m going to leave you two to sort this out.”

Caitlin started to walk towards you and out of the kitchen, you couldn’t help but clutch for her hand as she walked away. 

“It’s going to be fine. Trust me and listen to what she says and tell her how you feel. She came here to fix things, or start to fix things.”

Caitlin closes the kitchen door leaving just you and your sister alone with each other. 

“Just because we don’t have dinner together doesn’t mean I don’t notice when you’re done. Mum would kill me if I wasn’t keeping an eye on you and let her baby sneak out.”

It was the connotation of it all, Sam didn’t care, she was doing all of this for your mum. 

“I’m so sorry mum decided to burden you with my presence.”

Your sister exhales, like she’s trying to keep control, because she feels she has to. 

“That’s not what I meant. You matter just as much to me as you do to mum.”

Rich. Really rich coming from her. 

“Oh yeah, so that’s why mum calls me everyday to ask me about my day and how I’m doing and you just exist beside me. When was the last time you talked to me about anything besides football or the baby or Kristie? When was the last time you did anything with me that wasn’t related to football. When was the last time you asked me anything about my life or even acted like you cared?”

Sam exhales again, and breathes in like she’s trying to suck in every bit of oxygen in the room. 

“It’s not like that.”

You didn’t want to be angry about all of this, sad, disheartened, depressed. You could deal with that, but anger was so much harder. 

“Oh tell me how it is then. I know you didn’t ask to be looking after your teenage sister fulltime but you could at least pretend like my presence isn’t a complete burden to you. I fucking idolised you my whole childhood, when we had dress up days at school I would always dress up as you. I’ve always wanted to be you, and I was fine with everybody putting me into the box of Sam Kerr’s sister, I didn’t care, if anything it was the best feeling in the world. I didn’t care about being your shadow when you were my favourite person. But now that I’m here you’ve wrecked it all. You don’t have to tell me that I don’t fit into your picture perfect life, I’m well aware. I just didn’t expect you to treat me like fucking shit. I’m sick of it, I want to go home, I’d rather jeopardise my football career by going back then deal with anymore of this.”

Sam looks like she’s about to start crying and it feels good, you want her to feel what you are feeling, you want her to feel an inch of what you’ve been feeling for the past months. 

“You aren’t a burden to me. Not at all.”

You scoff, you aren’t a burden but she just opts to forget your existence, makes a lot of sense. 

“Okay so am I a ghost then? Do I have the ability to turn invisible and nobody has told me about it because you sure fucking act like I’m not here 95% of the time.”

Your sister stands up and starts to walk towards you and you immediately move. You don’t want touch or hugs or whatever she’s going to offer. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way. I’m really sorry.”

You really don’t know what to say to that. It’s a step forward but it doesn’t do anything, saying sorry is good and well but it doesn’t change an action. 

“I thought you came here for independence. God mum made it out like you were going to blow perth up if she didn’t get you out soon enough. I’ve wanted to be close to you since you were born, you were the light in all of our lives. Then you were here and I underestimated what it was going to be like but it was awesome and just having you in the house made it all so much better. Kristie and I had always wanted kids but having you around just made it seem like it would be the right fit, you have made our lives so much better. So, we started the process and it was all I could think about. I was your age when mum had you, I got to see you take your first steps and grow your first tooth and I thought it would be good for you to have the same experience. I just didn’t get how much time it would take up and how consumed with it I would get. You don’t deserve to feel this way, you don’t deserve to not feel cared for. I love you more than anybody else, I would put down anything for you, without a question. I haven’t made it seem that way recently but it’s true. You’re my priority, you always have been and you always will be. I don’t want you to go back home, having you here has been the best thing that has ever happened. I don’t know how i;m going to fix this but I’m going to. I’ll maker the changes, I’ll talk to Kristie, I’ll spend more time with you like I did before.”

So many feelings, so little words. 

“You don’t get me. I don’t want you to give up time, Kristie is the love of your life, this baby is going to be your kid. Your kid, not your sister, your kid. I don’t want you to detest me because I take away moments from your life.”

Sam shakes her head. 

“You are just as big a part of my life as anything else is. You fit into it all, if I haven’t amde you feel that way that is completely my fault.”

It’s nice to hear her say that, it’s nice to feel accepted even if it’s just for a second. 

“It’s not just that. I am literally your shadow. I don’t have any friends at Chelsea, everyone thinks I’m good because of you. Kerr is plastered everywhere and I’m just synonymous with all of your achievements. I don’t get to be me, the only difference is the different first name letter on our jerseys. I’m a good football player, because of me, not because of you. I’m sick of everyone telling me that I have a good right foot because my sister is Sam Kerr, or that I must have gotten my good defending skills from practicing with you. Everything has to be because of you, and I can’t handle it. I don’t have any friends that aren’t yours, my life is a by product of yours and I’m done with it being that way.”

This time when Sam takes a step towards you, you don’t immediately step away. Her presence doesn’t bother you, it’s the look on her face. 

“Okay, we can fix that. You want to quit? Move clubs? Go on Loan? I can talk to everyone at the club and make changes. Wew can change jerseys, you can have your first name and not last name. You should spend some extra time with the younger girls, stop feeling restricted by what I do and don’t do and just live your life. I’ll tell everuone how much of a fuckup I am and how you are skilled because of you. Whatever you want, I am here to support it. I haven’t done that enough recently and it needs to change, I want to make you my complete priority. No more forgetting you because I’m being selfish and only thinking about myself. My asshat behaviour ends now, I promise. What do you want, I will try my hardest to help you get it. I can call our agent right now and you can be playing in a different country.”

You shake your head, a small smile working it’s way to the corners of your mouth at your sisters franticness. 

“I don’t know, I have no fucking clue what I want. I just want you to know, I want help, I want to not feel like shit everyday just because of who I am.”

Sam nods, and reaches out for you. The hug is easy, it’s cathartic, you feel so much pressure releasing from your body as her arms tighten around you. 

“Okay, I can do that. We can do that. You and me yeah, you and me against the world.”

It’s not even close to fixed, your life hasn’t changed. But the overall weight, the soul crushing pressure of it all fades. You don’t trust, you don’t trust her to make changes. She hasn’t earnt that trust but you hope, you fucking hope that maybe something is going to happen. 

[kathbunny]

Multiple times Poly Crew went "THAT'S MY SPOUSE!" before they were even married

Kyana took another swig of her water, strands of her hair sticking to her face due to sweating from the heat of the plane of fire. Dani walked past her, carrying a tool box and plopping down by the railing, starting to clean it off before getting to fixing some of the arcane writing that maintained Emi. It had gotten slightly burnt in a fight, nothing severe, but Dani wasn't letting it wait any longer.

Kyana watched, keeping quiet to not bother her, noting that Dani was wearing less covering clothes for once, her jacket probably abandoned in the engine room for now. She had quite a few more of her blocky tattoos trailing up her arms, and something written in smudged pen on the inside of her wrist.

Kyana smiled to herself, humming a bit. That's her wife! Being smart and doing cool stuff! She thought, before quickly realizing that first statement wasn't quite true yet. That's her future wife.

---

Vhas was pretty sure he had bought the right flavor of Dani, but his half of the list had also fallen into a fountain, so he was going vaguely off memory. Dani would drink it regardless anyway. He looked around, trying to see if there was anywhere selling eggs nearby, instead seeing the person he had split doing the grocery shopping with, VR-LA, talking to somebody.

Vhas slinked his way over, wondering if maybe this was another friend of the crew he hadn't met yet, and instead hearing a very flirty tone from a very witchy looking elf. And a very normal, definitely not catching the vibe, tone from VR-LA. Not a friend.

Vhas tossed an arm over VR-LA's shoulders, pulling him to lean awkwardly towards VR-LA, earning an indignant squawk from the robot. "Hey there, buddy, what're you and my husband chatting about over here?" Vhas said, smiling with an intentionally uncomfortable amount of teeth. "Mind if I join in on whatever this is?"

The elf made a mildly disgusted expression at Vhas. Rude. "...I was just asking for directions. I'll be on my way." They then turned and promptly walked off.

Vhas stuck his tongue out at them.

"...Vhas, we aren't married yet?" VR-LA said, immediately following that up with: "Wait, they hadn't been asking for directions."

"Love, you were being flirted with."

"Oh." VR-LA thought about it for a moment, before just sighing. "How far along your grocery list are you?"

Vhas just pulled out the ruined and soaking wet list from his pocket.

---

Dani stretched, hearing mildly more popping noises than normal, and yawning, the punchbot she was making for Emi to control nearly complete after only- Dani realized she didn't know what time it was, at the same time she realized her eyes hurt and stomach was painfully empty. Fuck.

She checked the clock, realizing it was ten in the morning, which wouldn't be too bad if she hadn't begun sometime in the early evening after dinner the previous day. She should definitely go eat something. Dani pulled herself off the floor, numb legs causing her to wobble before the numbness was overtaken by that mildly painful static that made her feel horrible every time she attempted to put her feet to the floor.

Dani eventually made it to the door to the kitchen, pulling open the door and stepping in with the biggest step she could to avoid causing too much of that horrible pain. It didn't do much obviously.

"You good there, captain?" Vhas called from one of the counters, using what Dani was pretty sure was Kyana's sword to cut up peppers, his own sword on his back.

"No." Dani replied flatly, leaning against the counter closest to the door, palms flat to the too cold material.

"Didn't sleep?" Vhas asked, slapping the peppers onto the sandwich.

"Yep."

"One second." Vhas said, cutting up some more peppers, pulling some mystery lunch meat out of the fridge, slapping them both between some slices of bread. At which point, he grabbed hot sauce and just spurted a bunch on top, adding another slice of bread on top of the sauce. Horrible.

Vhas offered it to her. Dani took it, and took a bit. It wasn't the worst thing ever, she consumed the rest of it in two bites, Vhas beaming at her. Yep, that was her husband for sure. She loved him.

---

VR-LA has been watching Kyana meditate for a while, and he wasn't sure if she had noticed. It didn't particularly matter if she had, it was not as though either had much better to do for the moment. They were out in the Astral Sea, just waiting to meet with somebody next to the portal to Bitopia at their request.

Kyana looked beautiful under the stars, her hair like gold beneath the inky blue sky. The slight rise and fall as she breathed a reminder she was alive. The people VR-LA loved were alive. And he could just go see them whenever he wanted. And they loved him too.

VR-LA walked over, a little curious as to why she hasn't sat up fully again, only to realize she was very much so asleep. VR-LA held back a chuckle. When had she even fallen asleep? She was adorable. That's his wife! His future wife! He was going to marry her someday!

VR-LA hadn't thought about that fact much until recently. Kyana stirred slightly in her meditation as Emi's illusory body went rushing past, doing something (?) that probably made sense for the arcane intelligence. She settled immediately though, only slumping forward a bit.

[azaharinflames]

Ngl I’m struggling with the new episode. Part of me wants to see how 8x18 plays out before overreacting, but the rest of me thinks that I should have known 8x14 thru 8x16 was too good to be true because a lot of the 8x17 choices were…yikes. It just feels like we are back to 8a and Tim knowing where he wants the story to end up and then making the laziest writing decisions to get there.

Hen suddenly deciding that she doesn’t want to be captain even though she has been acting Captain on multiple occasions and kicked ass doing so is like Hen’s medical school detour all over again. The only narrative justification for that I can see is either 1) she changes her mind due to the events in the next episode or 2) Tim wants to introduce a new character to come in from the outside to be captain. 1) is lame and 2) a new character could be good for the show but it would have been nice if Tim opted for brave storytelling and wrote Hen wanting the job but not getting the offer. That way would have accomplished the goal of introducing a new character while creating tension between the new captain and the 118 and not flip flopping on Hen as a character.

As for the others, making Buck the 118 doormat won’t make him getting back together with Tommy feel earned. Depicting Buck and Eddie having such a bad friendship won’t kill Buddie in the eyes of BoBs particularly when the show doesn’t frame Eddie as being abusive (although that’s what he was). Having Chim mini spiral is going to be quickly resolved since he has a new baby about to pop making his story a nothing burger.

And don’t get me even started on the number of Eddie storylines that were either dropped completely or else resolved in the most unsatisfying way. We’ve been told all season long that Christopher is happy in Texas. Eddie bought a house and finally has a job offer in El Paso. For all of that to just be tossed and have him decide to come back to LA in the next episode will be ridiculous if that’s the route Tim goes (particularly when a minimal amount of advanced planning on Tim’s part could have made the decision on whether or not Eddie is staying in Texas a flexible one).

Tim claimed that he wanted to let the last few episodes breathe as the 118 processed and then he decided to go with some pillow therapy instead. This was more of a rant than a question because I’m struggling to see how this season could end in a satisfying way. Any insight?

I get it, because I'm struggling, too. I don't think this is an episode I'll rewatch much, if at all.

Now, I think this might not be what you wanted to hear, but my insight/opinion is that the show is going to rush through every single storyline that's left.

This is 911's standard. It's what they've done every single season, especially the ones where they had a normal number of episodes. They'll introduce conflict (even as late as the episode before the finale), and then will solve it frustratingly quickly. And then you have to suspend your disbelief for half of those resolutions, and just accept that 911 loves to initiate and create drama, but hates to take the time to actually work through it. A tale as old as time with them.

So, what I am currently expecting is for them to deal with the heavy stuff during the emergency. Go back to their personal lives after (I think it could be mid-ep), and solve their personal storylines then. Then they have a nice ending scene to make it seem like everything's good, and they didn't rush through all of that. It's classic 911, to be honest.

Anyway - Imma leave now for choir practice, I'll come back later and answer some more asks before deciding if I take the weekend off <3

[growling]

@alfiely-art splendid thank you for enabling my autism

Ok so background:

There's this city called Shinagawa City that's part of Zero's gamer regime where he forces everyone in all the cities to rp. This is called XG

The XG in Shinagawa City is that it functions like a company does, with all the residents as the employees, except for the president. Employees can only be appointed to the role of director at most if the president likes them. In order for the president to like you you have to bribe him with japanese sweets. Every week the president executes some guy he doesn't like.

Ichinose is the director, and part of the "Numbers" as #1, appointed by Zero. We don't really know the specifics but essentially, they're the rulers of each city and Zero recognizes them as potentially worthy of being his gamer buddies if genericprotagboy doesn't pass

Ichinose's personality is. so hard to describe in a manner that isn't just slander because he's specifically created to be as unlikeable as possible. He abuses his power, his employees, who he really hates and calls useless and incompetent every chance he gets, loves murder, incredibly self-absorbed and constantly has to assert his excellence in the most vain cartoon villain way possible and never stops mentioning how he's #1 appointed by Zero himself which basically means he's like a prettier jesus, mean to everyone he ever meets, actually really fucking stupid and unfunny with no positive qualities his life is worth nothing and he serves zero purpose and he sucks so much and I fucking hate Tribe Nine. He is created to have no depth whatsoever. Anyway he beat Zero in being my favourite Tribe Nine character and half of the reasons as to why I'm not even sure were even deliberate writing choices

Auuuurrghhh where do I start. Do I go in order or like what. I made an entire 12 page doc Ichinose Bible just for this sick evil twisted obsession specifically to help me with articulating anything and yet I have still failed. Alright we're going unhinged mode I had enough I'm making a third doc. I came back to this weeks later sorry my brain is fried now this might not be very comprehensible

Okay so this is very important for later: he is a terrible boss. Absolutely horrendous!!! Every interaction with him and his subordinates is them fucking up their goon work, him screaming at them, them having a mental breakdown and shitting themselves from fear, him still verbally abusing them for 12 more minutes then walking away very annoyed full of hatred for his useless fucking henchmen that he abhors because they're so sucks. They only listen to him because they're for some reason just so absolutely terrified of him, mostly that he's just gonna execute them (he does that often) but also mostly its kinda weird you know. They actually, truly, have NOTHING to gain from listening to him. There is no benefit for sticking around him. No this isn't a "lollll why don't they don't overthrow the bad guy if i was them i would simply not follow his orders" situation, they actually genuinely have zero solid reason to do everything he says and give him that amount of power. Also he just completely lacks awareness that what he's doing might be a wee mean and just genuinely thinks he's disciplining them in a normal way and that they're just overreacting specifically to piss him off. One time he goes off on a screaming session at his subs until one of them faints and all the other ones are shaking and crying in the middle of trying to recruit the protag team to also work under him and they're just Standing there all this time until one of them has to intervene and gently coax him into shutting the fuck up with her feminine wiles

Anyway I mentioned executions right. And the President. Ok so the President is actually not a human but rather just this iron maiden robot with the face of zero's canon fursona (long story) and floating hands and exclusively speaks in all caps. It does not move its just permanently standing there in the Execution Plaza. The Director position makes it so the President can only hear his voice (he can register visual input but can't hear other than Ichinose) so Ichinose's the only guy he can talk with. And ichinose is just absolutely constantly sucking up to that guy, talking to others about how Unbreakable their Special Bond is and how much the President would never ever replace him because they're besties and he's his favourite meanwhile the President does not give a single fuck about Ichinose. He only lets him do whatever he wants because Ichinose just keeps giving him sweets everyday so of course he likes him but not in any deeper way and has zero problem with turning on him the moment he's framed for eating that cake he always wanted. Oh and also when the President said earlier that whoever finds and gives him that cake will be made director Ichinose says "hahahaaa you're so funny babeee you're joking about making someone else director again. haha. you're doing that again" which is just sad. toxic doomed unrequited human x robot workplace situationship yaoi. Ichinose also loooooooves executing people its his favorite activity of the week every time he watches a guy die inside the President (yeagh they have to go inside the President) he gets such as kick he goes "bwahaha! heeheehee!" and then laughs about it for a full minute. He also sucks up to Zero a lot but that's for later

How he took control of the Shinagawa Tribe (part of his subordinates) is also pretty weird if you ask me. So when Zero first implemented the XG rules in Shinagawa nobody really cared and just kept doing their own thing except for Ichinose who immediately started meeting with the President and bribing him until he gained enough favor to be appointed director. Nobody still really cared except for him up until the executions started and they realized that It's Bad Actually. Shinagawa Tribe started also collecting bribes for the President and Ichinose just came up to them one by one and whispered in their ear "lol. your leader doesn't care about you as soon as he becomes director he's actually gonna kill you source dude trust me. give me all the bribes instead and work for me now. lmao" and that was literally enough for all of them to just take Ichinose's side and offer him all the items they had then watch their leader get executed. I guess he was just really that charming and intelligent huh,,,,

He kinda manipulates the president into letting him choose who gets executed instead, while it was originally supposed to be the president who does that. He also forbids anybody else from offering bribes to the president so that only he is favored and him and his men regularly rob and beat the hell out of people that try to do so also this exchange:

also i just. liked the moment where he just got in a car and fucking left. + he's so desperately trying to be soooo witty and funny and failing he's so embarrassing i want to boil him i actually hate him he wants to be cool so bad he's running that insult to the fucking ground he peaked at middle school im gonna skin him i will kill hi

Before getting to the Cake Incident, let's talk about how he always talks about being #1. He constantly points it out and reminds everyone about how he's "#1, as appointed by Zero himself" and wants everyone to remember that, he constantly mentions it even when it's not even related to what he's talking about he just hypes himself up. He thinks it's the coolest thing ever and the proof of his superiority and it obviously it means a lot to him it sure would be terrible if anyway let's talk about the Cake Incident

Anyway, the Cake Incident is that the protag group finds that really cool cake and and tries to offer it to the president but also it was all a trick because they replaced it with a sponge. Ichinose is about to steal that when his subordinate notices that it's unusually light but doesn't tell him that because he doesn't give her a chance to also it's Ichinose. President eats that and immediately does a 180 on his opinion of Ichinose and wants him dead and buried. (also when Ichinose gets stressed out about this he talks to himself like "Ugh… Stay calm, Ichinose Kazuma. At a time like this…" Ijust think that's cute lmao). When Ichinose tells the President that he was actually tricked it turns out the protag team got a SECOND trick which is I shit you not they fed him to Oi's AI and showed President an AI generated image of him absolutely throating that original cake and President gets so mad he fucking kills him and I just wanted to dwell a bit on how Ichinose is canonically a victim of AI sludge. Anyway before Ichinose fucking dies he says "Eeek!" and starts ugly crying before getting executed and then it's all officially over post ended Ichinose is no more the wicked bitch is dea

Anyway this is where we actually really get into this, I will only get more unhinged from this point, we gotten past just the intro to my hellish essay. Ichinose actually is not dead and just rips President apart from the inside and it is revealed that he can never die because he was a robot the entire fucking time and also his head fell off and he doesn't pick that up for his entire monologue. He was born and raised a human but when he became #1 he got to pick his reward and that was to turn into a robot so he can be immortal.

ok i came back where was i. oh yeah so while he was quote unquote "dead" the protag team was discussing on how to change society somewhat and came up with replacing the Shinagawa company XG with XB games. Ichinose does not want that, he thinks XB is stinky and barbaric and he really hates it for some never explained reason, like its personal or something, and while he begs Zero to pleaseeeee give him another chance it is instead decided that him and protag team are gonna have a baseball showdown and whoever wins makes the Shinagawa rules. He grumbles a bit on how much he hates it when Zero makes these kinda decisions on a whim and also ewwwww baseball but doesn't really have a choice so he goes and gets that bat

XB kinda functions like debate showdowns in DR or reasoning death matches in RC with the added element of throwing balls at each other with mechanisms I do not understand. Anyway the main debate in XB about Ichinose is first about whether it was his fault for losing XG or his subordinates', and the second is whether he is actually fit to be a leader. Anyway before they start, Ichinose gets really mad and screams at his goon #38 because he just now found out that she didn't report to him about the cool cake being too light and blames her for his downfall. He is livid about having been accused that actually it might be his fault and keeps on hurling deaths threats/promises until they finally get him to throw that damn ball already

It has become very quickly apparent that... he has little to no arguments. He does not know how to defend himself without sounding downright incoherent or contradicting himself, just going "ummmm nuh uh......" and doesn't even attempt at lies, either. He just lets himself be a laughing stock in front of all the other players and all he has to say about it is just yelling insults and telling them to shut up and stop being mean to him because he's literally neurodivergent and a minor. Anyway, his first defense against the argument that "maybe if you weren't verbally abusing all your employees 24/7 they'd be more comfortable telling you things" is "[quoting] Z-Zip it! You imbeciles can't possibly understand what it's like to be in charge! They're the ones to blame! I've done nothing wrong!"

Anyway he moves on with his second argument where he realizes (..... though it's more like, him grasping at random shit, because he seriously gives of the impression that even he does not believe half the things he's saying) that the reason that his subordinate didn't report the Nefarious Cake Suspicious Weight was because she was trying to purposefully humiliate him that bastard goon. In his words: "I can understand wanting to backstab me for being so perfect, but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed!" which is great man anyway, Oi says that's stupid and Ichinose says execute that harlot. He then goes off saying that the recipe for success is to inform report consult and if you can't do that then you're beyond incompetent etc etc, and Iroha makes a point that he just took that cake from his subordinate by force without letting her report anything anyway, and he actually doesn't have a counterargument because he knows she's right but will keep on doubling down no matter what even if that just speeds up his eat shit era.

Anyway Gotanda tells him he sucks balls as a boss, nothing we haven't heard before, Ichinose says something about him "not knowing the hardships of those who stand above others" how he's done nothing wrong and and how he isn't disposable like those people because he is the ~Chosen~ #1, which he repeats a lot, very often using how he's "chosen" or "special" as an argument but not elaborating further than that even when/especially if he's asked. What I want to point out is that Gotanda says to him that his subordinates are more competent that him, and Ichinose, while angered... has no comeback. Because he knows that's true even if he'll never admit it no matter how hard it'll fuck him over in the long run.

Actually I don't really have to describe the next scene much and it could be just pasted here pretty fine without additional notes from me, but I don't want to keep it out of the post either:

Gotanda mentions that he spoke to a former colleague of Ichinose once, and they mentioned that he was "incompetent and useless" so let's keep that in mind,

Then we get these lines:

And, let's pause for a few seconds. Why is he even being listened to? Following him gives virtually no benefits aside from, I guess "1% less chance of getting executed", but even then it's stated that being close to him doesn't really do much to save you from that. His takeover of Shinagawa Tribe is downright nonsensical, and yet, him just saying a few words to him about how their leader is enough to terrify them all into submission permanently. Why is everyone so constantly scared shitless of him no matter what. There is zero benefit to following him. The only fucking reason that many people could fall for his bullshit for that long of a time, is if he had some sort of aura like superpower that turns everyone who he ever comes in contact with fucking stupid for the plot to work

Anyway the actual explanation for why he is able to do all this is because he actually has some sort of aura like superpower that turns everyone he ever comes in contact with fucking stupid

No I'm not kidding. This is actually canon this is the truth behind this perplexing case .

So, just, out of the fucking blue, after not saying anything about it for the whole goddamn chapter, Q just casually mentions "oh yeah, that's probably because of the Ichinose Curse. Lol. Lmao, even" we literally never heard about anything like this shit prior to this moment halfway through the XB match nor are we aware of how the fuck did he obtain that information. According to Q, the "Ichinose Curse" is a power of Ichinose that renders all his subordinates in a state of mind control caused by their fear of him. Soooo......... essentially, how I understand this and how I think it's meant to be like, is that the more scared they are of Ichinose, the more susceptible they are to get mind controlled because of that. So, even if his comments towards Shinagawa Tribe members back then were not that effective, then getting even a little bit spooked back then was already causing some effects, which obviously would skyrocket once he executes their leader in front of them. So he does not have to be skilled in any sort of master manipulation, he just has to be intimidating enough. (also explains why the protags are not affected by it, because they're kind of tired of his shit and instead of being scared of him after seeing the manager's execution, they're just really angry instead)

Except. Here's the thing.

I don't think Ichinose fucking knows that himself.

There is NOTHING in the game indicating or even hinting of him being aware that he's literally controlling people, and not just "persuading" them as he puts it with his awesome #1 strats. Nothing. Not even after this information drop from Q - he is never confronted about it by the protags. Ever. For his remainder of appearances. Never do we get a moment where he goes "buwahahaha so you have realized..... my fuckshit forte........ what will you do now......" even though it seems obvious that it'll happen at some point. Nobody ever.... brings the "Ichinose Curse" up to Ichinose himself, ever, and neither does he. Like it's irrelevant to him, or, I'll say this. His actions do not make sense for someone who knows they have a mind controlling power. None of them. Ichinose literally has no fucking idea and genuinely thinks that he's persuading all his subordinates with his own skills and he's that perfect, and, at the same time, does not even get why he's being even listened to anyway if we go off of a quarter of his dialogue.

I was about to say how I got no idea how Q got hold of that fucking information when even the ability-bearer himself, Ichinose, does not have it, but, it actually does make...... kind of sense, if you go into theory territory for a bit? According to me, and this is what I'm sticking with as most plausible, Ichinose is not the only person who has had that ability - and the Ichinose Curse is actually the power of the Ichinose family, which it gets it's name from, and how Q could have gotten that information. If he got relatives that could mind control people, then no matter how obscure that fact might have been in Neo Tokyo, Q could have gotten a hold of it and connect the dots. It could also explain why he didn't say anything earlier; he had heard of some line of Ichinoses with that kind of power, but he wasn't sure if Ichinose Kazuma was from them, but after observing him for enough time it became obvious and that's why he said so only after confirming it during the XB match. That's what I'm believing. The other equally plausible possibility is that the writers sharted but I'm putting trust in them

Anyway, the protags kind of shift the subject of the match, from arguing whether it was Ichinose's or his subordinate's fault for losing XG, to discussing whether working for him has any benefits to prove he sucks to his subordinates so they'll leave him. Whatever I don't care about them

Ichinose keeps making nothingburger arguments and defenses such as "well I'm #1 which means I'm the most outstanding one and being used by the #1 itself is a benefit so checkmate liberals". Or like, more accurately, when confronted by anything he always just answers that, well, he's part of the NUMBERS, and nothing else. His justification for every single one of his actions is that he's #1, which automatically makes him superior and inherently more worthy than the rest ("I am the chosen #1. I'm not disposable like those incompetent fools.") -- whenever it comes up, he always pairs having that title with surely making him Chosen and Special, and gets very upset with the protag group for "not realizing [his] greatness". He rarely lists himself being the literal Director (and the de-facto President via his bribery shenanigans) of Shinagawa City as what makes him so special, and this position is what seems to actually give him some real power and not just a fancy title. What does being "#1" in particular even entail? Who knows, but he sure is holding onto it for dear life. It would be a shame if. Nevermind

Moving on. He keeps failing at dodging arguments just as miserably as before -- Upon presented with reality and actually believing it somewhat he rationalizes and justifies to himself that he's never to blame regardless of how much his arguments don't make sense, knows that he's in the wrong or at least can't reason against it, at least subconsciously, cannot defend himself and is visibly nervous, the usual, whatever. Until he gets one match with Todoroki, and, just says something that's just a really odd comment.

For context, Todoroki is one member of the Trash Tribe/protag team, who is distinctive for two things: being insanely rich, and a massive asshole. He constantly acts superior towards, insults and is nasty to everyone he ever meets for virtually no reason and has no redeeming qualities. Him and Ichinose never had any meaningful conversation with each other. Ichinose just... not only paid enough attention to Todoroki specifically to notice that despite being established several times that he does not care for anyone other than himself and does not acknowledge anyone else in the room, he also recognizes that this behavior is indeed, a dick move (cheers for self-awareness). And basically, just. Sounded like he just started projecting completely unprompted.

From this moment on, it is absolutely pointless to even list all the arguments you have with him as a separate thing, as he constantly just makes the same defenses because he has none. He literally has zero fucking counterargument aside from "nuh uh" or "ok well but have you considered I'm literally #1. which essentially makes me like a prettier Yomi and the winner of this argument" if I'm ever in court and my lawyer is Ichinose I'm killing myself.

Like. Look at this silly silly unserious man.

Anyway, Gotanda goes up to all his subordinates and tells them "believe in thyself.... go work for me instead......" so they'll snap out of the Ichinose Curse and it's not very effective. Ichinose tells him to leave his kittens alone and that he has trained them to 100% obey him and that special relationship will never fall apart which is funny cause I'm pretty sure I've heard that some time ago before and it ended with him inside an iron maiden. Anyway Gotanda calls out to Ichi's subordinates by their actual names and Ichinose is a bit taken aback cause he forgot they got names. Gotanda asks how the fuck do you not know the names of any of your subordinates and Ichinose goes that they all look the same anyway. Gotanda uses that and it is very effective this time, and literally every single Ichinose henchman just decides that he sucks and they all leave. No this doesn't mean the game's over Ichinose is just alone now it's like a 1v9 perhaps more I didn't count all the protags. Ichinose gets extremely pissy and his featured yellow-highlighted argument is "I am the best in Shinagawa! I don't need anyone's help!" which ermmm ackshually, no one offered to help you, and also when you got sucked into the iron maiden for a thousand deaths your second instinct was to yell for help so. Ratio

Anyway he actually gets asked what his basis for saying that #1 is superior and to provide a reliable source for that too and his answer is that it's because Zero said so. Thanks for clearing that up

Anyway not only did Gotanda talk to his former acquaintance who said that Ichinose was incompetent and useless, he also got a hold of his HR evaluation report and they also said he was "bottom-tier and completely useless". Everybody hated that guy and he had zero skills or strengths before he became the Director so his argument about being inherently excellent special superior and a "born winner" was him lying through his teeth literally every piece of power he had was given to him by someone else, that he did not work for, either.

Anyway, this one's fun. Gotanda asks Ichinose to list his strengths, and he just can't. He just goes "uhhhmmm umm well there are too many itd be a waste of time to list them all and if I said it then you'd cry at how cool I am. Wait a moment I'm still thinking. Uhhhghhnng. ummmm. Well there's just too much to say..." and only after direct prompting from Gotanda to hurry the fuck up and stop stalling he musters up something about having charisma which makes everyone follow him (they literally all left. also no one tell him about the mind control), which is a vaguely abstract nothing trait. In the next, separate scene he has made significant improvements in being able to list any of his positive qualities aside from his status, and says that he's also hot. Great job Ichinose you beat the loser allegations! Anyway next scene he loses at XB miserably it was great while it lasted.

(Before that Gotanda also tells him "your self-esteem is so outrageous I feel embarrassed just listening to you… I'm actually starting to doubt your sanity." but like. Hmmmmm is it really self-esteem. Is it. Does he ever sound like it is.)

Anyway he immediately goes "AAAHHHHHH". Zero appears and vaguely insults his capabilities, Ichinose spares no time begging him to pleaseeeeee give him a rematch he won't slip up next time just pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee give him another chance sobbing and shaking cutely and Zero says no. Well, he doesn't actually say no but......

Zero says that now is a good time to tell him, that, actually, he is #1 because he is weakest of all the Numbers, and that he is a loser and cringe and completely yaoiless and also sucks. He didn't tell him that all this time cause he felt sorry for him.

Immediately after:

I love. Rotating this bastard in my mind.

Being the "Chosen" and "Special" #1 is what he based his entire worth off until this moment, a proof of his superiority and what made him "not disposable" like other people like he said so earlier. He talks about it all the time, it is his main and only argument and justification for everything he does and he's holding onto it for dear life even if as it was shown through the game it really did not have any significance aside from being a fancy sounding title. He can hardly list any positive traits of himself that don't have to do with being #1 without stalling. He probably was a nobody before becoming #1, according to Gotanda people really just considered him incompetent and completely useless. Literally every piece of power he had was given to him by someone else, that he hardly even worked for, and both of those superiors (the President and Zero) did not give a shit about him, while he believed they had a "mega special & unbreakable bond". He constantly sucks up to the people above him, and it's especially pathetic with Zero. Ichinose clearly thought they had Something, according to him he was "the only person who acknowledged [him]", gave him his approval, that reveal must have done unspeakable things to his brain. And even then, despite it all, he STILL tries to appeal to Zero, literally begs him again for a rematch like he's seriously got no dignity left. And being #1 really was the only thing he had going for him, he's a coward with no skills, lacks awareness in most areas but surprisingly still retains some of it regarding him not being a competent leader, has no arguments in XB (or theyre incoherent or contradicting, doesn't even attempt at lies) for the cake not being his fault, and working for him having benefits, probably does not believe either not that deep down but keeps doubling down, when Gotanda says his subordinates are more competent than him he has no comeback. He literally has a special ability that he does not even know about (or is in denial, who knows) hes never had to work for being listened to, truly thinks that its his Excellence and Perfection that makes people obey him, with his own skills, also doesn't seem to really actually get why he's being listened to he knows it makes no sense. The fucking Todoroki scene projection 1000. And I'm gonna go even further and say that him picking immortality as a reward is just proving he does not think over anything and is only shallowly chasing more power and security, immortality is famously a standard superpower that people don't really think about as hard as they should before they say that they'd want it, it will dissapoint you not be fun and you'll suffer for eternity wishing that fuckass snail was real. This feels so good to finally fucking write down and post this man is driving me insane I don't even think 99% of all that shit was even intentional or intended to be taken as seriously as I do by the writers there is a permanent Ichinose shaped organ right inside my brain and I can't take it anymore I

And this is just. Painful to read. But I mean, let him cope I guess, it's not hurting anyone, let him believe it.............. It'll help him stay functional

Anyway, regarding the robot thing, to add even more salt to the injury, Zero admits that he built him as shittily as possible with the parts he just had on hand, no regard for quality or durability. When Ichinose suggests that he pleaseeeee give him a rematch, Zero says that he's looking forward to it, but, he hates to break it to him that it's probably the end for him. Ichinose's mildly confused and Zero explains that he has a battery that drains pretty quick when he does any strenuous exercise (which he did play a whole match of baseball just a bit ago). Like, it's literally running out right now and he'll turn off soon. Ichinose asks him to then please recharge him, or give him a new battery, and Zero says "No <3". After panicking for a few seconds Ichinose just. Turns off and stays like that probably forever. Gotanda literally said that they are going to make sure that he never wakes up and they just. Leave him there. Like that's the end

And with that, finally, I fucking did it. I wrote down the Ichinose manifesto. Please tell me I'm not alone in my obsessive fascination with Ichinose from the fucking shitty Tribe Nine gacha. Why is it a fucking gacha.

Some other notable certified Ichinose momence:

When he first appears Kuronaka thinks that he has a "relaxed expression", but, he's actually like notably the character (next to Q) with the most prominent stress lines under his eyes. And also literally nothing about Ichinose to me screams "relaxed" man's in the fucking trenches emotionally every second of his stupid baka life

"you normie" <- actual line he said

Robot built so shitty he still feels thirst. The moist eyes comment

I don't even know what is happening in this scene

Sometimes he just makes this slutty af pose for no reason

[beigetiger]

Honestly Skulduggery in Hell Breaks Loose hurts my heart. He was simultaneously a hyper-violent asshole who sold out his teammates for a half-assed attempt at killing Serpine, but he was also JUST SO SAD. I spent the first half of this book wanting to punch him and the second half wanting to give him a hug, no matter how bad of an idea that would be. Anyways, spoilers ahead.

His self-esteem, for one, is absolutely awful, and he’s kinda right to think of himself in that way. He understands that his love of violence and hurting people isn’t normal, even if his friends go out of their way to try and not make him too uncomfortable. He questions Ghastly as to why he sticks around despite Skulduggery ditching camp to try and failing to kill a guy, and berates Ghastly for trusting and loving him on account of the fact that Skulduggery will probably just hurt him again.

And that scene where he was talking to Valkyrie and they were just chatting about random stuff? Broke my heart. At first I thought that Skulduggery might not like or trust someone who claimed to be his friend from the future, but him being happy to meet Valkyrie because it means that he’s still capable of loving someone and that he’s not a total lost cause was heart-wrenching. I really loved all of the Dead Men interacting with Valkyrie, but those two definitely hit me the hardest.

And another absolutely heartbreaking thing to watch was him using necromancy magic on Serpine by accident. The aftermath of the whole thing did such a fantastic job illustrating his frustration with his own magic, with how he killed Serpine, and with knowing that he’s now essentially damned his teammates. He also seemed so legitimately frightened by his own magic, making him default to refusing to acknowledge it as part of him and not want to talk about the subject. In fact, watching him panic and the other Dead Men react to his shadow magic was super interesting because they don’t really fear it. And why would they? Lord Vile hasn’t happened yet, Skulduggery is their friend, they all have nothing to fear, even if they are a bit out of their lane. Valkyrie was really the only one who understood the full implications of the situation that they were in, which gave her even more of a reason to panic because it means that the timeline had gone horribly wrong.

Also, some of the stuff that Serpine was saying to Skulduggery while chained up? Absolutely FOUL, I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of self-control it must have taken for Skulduggery to stand there and take all that for as long as he did. Because while he has pretty much no self-restraint for 90% of this book, this was the one place he knew he couldn’t mess up. And he messed up, not that it particularly mattered in the end anyways. But I like to tell myself that I have decent self-control, and I would have snapped that man’s neck so fast if he started talking in disturbing, gloating detail about the death of my loved ones. Really just goes to show that Skulduggery didn’t want to lose the rest of the people he cared about as well. That went great, didn’t it.

Somewhat unrelated to this whole tangent, but knowing that Skulduggery and Rustica (Ghastly’s mom) were buddies and would hang out and joke with each other hurt so much more knowing how Rustica dies.

And completely unrelated to this tangent, Valkyrie having to watch a version of her partner die only to kill an old man and have the timeline revert so that he’s alive but remembers nothing that happened must have been a DISTURBING experience. I’d probably never sleep again, I’d be so worried about the people I care about constantly. And also I’d be stuck trying to unravel the layers of the universe. I’m fully convinced that the reason Valkyrie sometimes blocks out information people are trying to give her (or trying to dumb it down/ trivialize it) is because this woman has handled the horrors of the universe and probably implements this technique to stop herself from going insane thinking about it.

[bucksboobs]

I feel so bad for Buddie fans that are completely normal about it. I can’t imagine just wanting to have nice things and enjoy your fun little ship and people associated with it keep bringing such an insane amount of hostility.

Plenty of people are very normal about shipping Buddie and only Buddie! It’s just unfortunate that the loudest voices are often the most unkind ones. If I was less generous I could point out that these people only have such far reach because they tolerate each other’s homophobia has just “normal fandom toxicity” (<- real thing someone said as if it excuses it) and the more they ignore or isolate Certain Users the kinder the fandom could become but honestly I don’t think everyone is checking before reblogging Buddie posts from the most toxic of users.

Side note but I feel similar about so called Eddieblr which has now seemingly adopted Tommy hatred as a core tenet despite Eddie and Tommy being friends in canon. I would love to talk about the tormented Catholic boy that I relate to on many levels without worrying that it’s going to mean someone talks shit about the gay guy I relate to on many levels!

[casualdadnomad]

i am back with more headcanons! today we got college gaang x going to the gym!!

masterpost (>ᴗ•)

college athletes: suki, ty lee, toph, sokka

suki’s colorguard stuff is a killer workout in itself (ex guard girl here, i was jacked)

and being the captain of the self defense club, it’s kind of accepted she could knock you the fuck out

ty lee being a cheerleader also gives her an insane amount of muscle but it’s less visible and more just strength

so she just looks completely normal and then BAM she puts zuko in a shoulder sit

the ty lee cheerleader arc is something i want to go into more detail on so someone please tell me to do it so i have an excuse to

toph being on the rugby team is something so close to my heart

she does lifting, conditioning, rugby practice etc all ON TOP of the earth bending she’s doing on the daily

she is 5’0” of pure muscle

sokka is on the fencing team which is more agility centered than strength centered

he’s fast, he has a great reaction time and hand eye coordination

something will fall and he will catch it so fast

like wow i didn’t know spider-man was here

i also headcanon he can just do a backflip. like he’s one of those backflip guys i’m sure you know one

absolute gym bros: katara, azula, zuko

katara was field hockey captain in high school but didn’t continue in college

she is a busy woman and has so many passions to spend her time on in college!

she does however hit the gym regularly she loves the gym

her and zuko are gym buddies :)

zuko is huge man i feel like this is not explored enough in fanon HE KICKED THROUGH A WOODEN TABLE??????????

me when i see fanart of zuko that lets him be strong!!!!!!!!!!!! 😁😁👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

he works out all the time because he realized young that being bad at bending sucks but he could just get as good as possible as good old acoustic combat

azula works out as part of her healing process

good way to get her anger out

boxing is one of her favorite workouts but she also is a part of a firebending club

mock trial? try mock agni kai

great way to make friends while keeping her skills sharp

plus having a firebending major is a lot of exercise in itself

same with katara and toph and the other bending majors

mai spends enough time working on precision with knife throwing that her reflexes are also good, better than sokkas for sure

but if you asked her to run a mile she’d laugh in your face

katara gets ripped for bending, aang is ripped from bending

he can’t major in airbending cause he’s the only one but he spends a lot of time keeping his skills sharp

he actually compulsively practices because he’s afraid he will forget something and some aspect a irbending culture will be lost to time but that’s another post i could make like and subscribe for the gaang trauma responses post

his endurance is great from sparring and airbending and he also loves running

he is the only one in the gaang who loves running (only one in the gaang who will run willingly at all)

as much as the gaang, who canonically are fighters, love physical activity, they also love being so very lazy! they don’t get a chance to be lazy often so they will take any chance to give their bodies a rest they can in my au

rest is just as important as being active :)

okay that’s all for tonight! can u tell im a tired student athlete and am projecting lol ok i have to go to bed cause i got class tomorrow thanks for reading !

[fluffle-writes]

So, I saw your twst isekai idea post, and had IDEAS!

so I'm not super familiar with most of those series/fandoms, BUT...

What came to mind for me was Stardew Valley (since it's been on my mind recently). I don't know how familiar you are with the game, but I think that if he was isekai'd there, Jade would THRIVE as a farmer! I mean, he's got a green thumb and knows about plants. There's a mountain (with a mine), plenty of local flora to forage, and a possibility for a MUSHROOM CAVE on the farm. He'd LOVE IT!! Plus, the people in town are incredibly interesting - he'd never get bored there. And he's sketchy clever and resourceful enough to know how to get what he wants. His family are suggested to also be 'businesspeople', after all :)

Epel would also do just fine there, obviously. He already comes from a farming family, so I imagine he'd do a good job setting up an orchard in Stardew Valley.

On the other hand, I think that Idia would STRUGGLE in that situation. He's very clever, but NOT GOOD with new people, or much manual labour. And unless he already knew about gardening/farming/foraging/fishing/etc. from a game or series, he'd probably be totally lost on how to manage. (It would probably be pretty funny for us, but very stressful for him.)

(I put a buncha stuff under a 'read more' because I wrote. Many words lol)

I LOVE STARDEW VALLEY I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT ON MY SWITCH AND HAVING SO MUCH FUN OBLITHERATING PIERRE IN THE STARDEW VALLEY FAIR (I care about this a normal amount)

AND YESS FARMER JADE!!! OMG HE WOULD PROBABLY MAKE THE MUSHROOM CAVE HIMSELF BEFORE DEMETRIUS EVEN THINKS ABOUT SUGGESTING IT TO HIM!

Just,,, Demetrius showing up at Jade's house and being all 'hello I could set up a mushroom cave for you if you want' and Jade showing off his already thriving mushroom colonies completely filling the space lmao. I wonder if they'd be mycology buddies with how Demetrius is a biologist (iirc)

He'd love to forage in the surrounding areas and hike around the forests - and fishing! I remember him being super passionate about everything in the Camp Vargas stories he was in and I just love how he can get so happy when he's able to indulge in his interests.

(I wonder if he would mess with some of the villagers by swimming in the ocean in his merform... I may end up shipping him with Elliott if I think about that too much - typical bachelor on the beach falls for the mysterious merperson in the ocean typa story idk my brain is running away from me haha)

----

EPEL WITH AN ORCHARD YES!

He would be in his element! I can imagine him with expertise from what his family taught him on his farm - how to selectively breed plants to make the best produce, how to graft two parts of heirloom species of plants together to get the best traits from both (like the roots from a tomato plant bred to resist root diseases and the stem from a plant that produces large, delicious fruits! I've seen a video about it and it was really cool lol)

And he has the type of face and vibe that I feel like would make older ladies fawn over him a little if that makes sense? Like Marnie, Caroline, and Jodi - their group. Like, he's polite because of his time with Vil, he's quite short and has a boyish face, he's hardworking etc. I can see him receiving cookies from Evelyn and stuff like that.

----

AND LMAO IDIA SUFFERING HAHA

I'd say that he'd get along with Sebastian but I doubt that they'd end up meeting with how neither of them really go outside (I know from waiting outside Sebastian's door before I thought to look up his schedule online haha)

Idia's internal dialogue would probably be an absolute disaster haha - he is NOT built for this environment! There's too much focus on socialisation! And his noodly gamer arms cannot do farming! He would be having a Bad Time and it would definitely be funny to watch it pan out haha

At least there's a chance that he could have some meta knowledge due to the fact that he's a gamer. Maybe it'll be exactly like some sorta game from Twisted Wonderland called 'SunMist Hollow' (I just searched synonyms for that haha)

[courtofmatchups]

Hihi! I'm so sorry Tumblr didn't give me the notification 😭 I'll try and have yours done sometime today or tmr since it's been a bit hectic w/ testing

Personality: I'd like to think I'm sweet - if not a little awkward especially when in the process of getting to know somebody since normally I'm hesitant to even really approach people. Same thing w/ my insecurities (personality, looks, interactions, etc) I don't normally like vocalizing them to anybody until after I've known them for like a few months at least and even then I have a tendency to either underplay it or just joke about it which tends to rub some people the wrong way when I do it.

I also can't read people or verbal cues at all - God forbid trying to flirt, it took me several months to figure out somebody liked me when they were trying to flirt with me, nor am I very good with my, or others emotions but I at least try to make an effort when they need comfort. I also have a bad tendency to be really forgetful/clumsy, frequently forgetting where I put various things or missing things in literal plain sight or just stumbling for no real reason or tripping on my feet. (Not that I mind anymore I've fallen enough times it's just a habit to get back up) ^^'

Completely off topic and I have no idea if you want to add it, I am nicknamed rabbit bc of the amount of times I accidentally eavesdrop bc I can't tune out conversations 😭

Also since I feel like I could add in my negative traits- 

I have really (but weirdly spontaneous) times where I start overthinking things that have already passed by (like weeks have passed??) and I tend to get oddly emotional about it.

I also have a weird situation where I'm aware I'm not feeling and I don't know how to act when others get emotional- not that I don't want to help or anything- I just genuinely have no idea how to process emotion or how to hold onto my emotions for more than a few minutes no matter how strong it was/is, I have no idea if that's apathy?? Or if it's just me being a little silly, maybe.

Personality type: INTP, 6W5 - Zodiac signs is Capricorn Sun and Taurus Moon

Looks/Offtopic (although I'm not sure this is important??): I have dark brown eyes (although the pigment is closer to black) and the same for my hair, my hair is cut short (neck length) and is decently fluffy and disappointingly I'm stuck at 5'1. I'm a huge fan of animals and a complete pushover when it comes to them and as a hobby I play the violin or write little stories (that I probably forget about), I also love cuddling and typically can't fall asleep without a pillow being my cuddle buddy or somebody else, big spoon, little spoon, doesn't not matter - I just love cuddles.

Traits I find Attractive: I'm not really picky, imo, but I like being friends with a person before I date them, so I guess that qualifies as having a close bond with the person? I'm able to put up with most things but it's nice when the person I'm with will give me attention and stuff but also know when I'm getting frustrated and to stop pushing an issue (E,G: Somebody repeatedly reminding you to do something you know you have to do, when you're about to do it), that and PDA/Physical touch is something Id like as a touch starved person but of course not required from a partner. <3

Traits I dislike: In the most weirdly descriptive sense I can't stand people who try and tell me what I want to do or what I'm feeling when I am actually able to tell, like no - just because I'm not in the mood the talk to you doesn't mean I'm mad, stop trying to push it. Liars are also an issue, small lies like "I ironed your shirt" when they really didn't is perfectly fine its when their purposefully rude and manipulative about it

Love languages : Physical Touch, Gift giving, Quality time (Giving) \ Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality time (Receiving)

Hobbies: Violin- performing, Art, Photography, Animal Handling, gardening, baking, wood sculpting, Track, Volleyball, Gaming, Code designing(visual novels) 

Likes: Winter, Animals (aside from insects and arachnids), the ocean, fall, fairs/festivals, movies, books, painting/sketching, Archery, Sword fighting, Dragons and mythology as a general, spicy foods, most fruits, Music mainly folklore, Tea's, Sunbathing, alone time when stressed, cuddles and physical contact

Dislikes: Large crowds, overbearing/over protectiveness, overly sweet foods, loud/sharp/sudden noises, Spiders and insects as a whole, being forgotten, the ocean( when just placed in a body of water where I can't make out anything smthn like Thalasaphobia I think), the heat or overly hot places, being solely dependent on somebody

Silly Offtopic facts?: I cannot picture anything no matter how descriptive the context or clear the music, cannot do it. I also have absolutely terrible sense of direction (as in I literally can't tell South, North, East, West, etc) and a matching memory (I've forgotten my birthday like several times or more and other people's birthdays, etc). I've grown up around cats and ducks and just animals in general all my life and love them dearly. I also have a crippling dear of being forgotten after I'm dead so I've pushed myself to overachieve in literally everything.

(Also that's what I look like for a visual rep, [I tried I swear] it's a really rushed drawing and I forgot how to draw clothing 😭 tyy for the exchange tho!)

It seems to me you've captured the heart of...

Lord Diavolo!

Diavolo's goal is to unify the three worlds so that each being from each realm can live in harmony. Having said that, as a demon, he does have little understanding or experience in the way humans interact with each other, but I feel that this the two of you could get along fairly well. Diavolo is a lonely prince at heart, and as you seem a little bit shy, it may take a while for him to worm his way into your circle. And once he does, I think this friendship can blossom into a beautiful romance.

His favorite qualities about you would first have to be your kind nature. You make others around them feel at ease when you talk with them, and you don't seem to judge others based on appearances or actions. You also seem very intelligent, based on your description. He is too, and I feel like he'd love to have a partner who is on his level, intellectually.

You also mention struggling with your own negative thoughts, which could lead to some rocky conversations and situations. Furthermore, they need some time alone when they’re stressed, so please tell him ahead of time, or when you need some space to be alone. Diavolo wants to help you, so share whatever problems you have. You can solve it together once your head is clear.

As you're such a laid back person, I feel like he'd like to show you his library. There's quite a few cursed books and tomes in there, so tread with caution. Also, he would love to teach you how to play chess if you find interest in the game. He would also like to do things like going on a picnic, baking together, taking a walk around my castle, or just having an evening tea together. He would even take you to a petting zoo if given the chance. Overall, your relationship seems like it would be a happy one

[crystalelemental]

Unit Viability Speculation - December 2023

Unova finally gets some attention, Viola finally gets a super nice outfit, and all I care about is Lodge Jasmine. Okay that's not entirely true, Meloetta's here, but like. Jasmine.

Neo Champion Nate Good news: the "Even Nate" jokes are over. Bad news: Nate having the shiny Haxorus from completing the dex will 100% be used to say he was secretly the true protagonist on Reddit, because girls can't be protagonists.

Nate is an insanely powerful Dragon Striker, who acts more as a support. To cut to the chase, his Buddy move is his only real damage aside from sync, and it's 1MP with AoE penalty. It's not exactly breaking barriers here, given its only effects are "can't miss" and "-1 cooldown." Those are common effects. Scale Shot is also not great, giving some minor speed increase at the cost of defense. While he stacks PMUN like crazy, none of it matters when Scale Shot is as weak as it is. Punishing Strike is tremendous, 30% boost under his circle is great, and Haymaker is free money alongside Speedster Sync 5, which is easy to set up because only +1 speed is sufficient. Oh and he gets another 90% bonus while his Circle is up. Sure Nate. 240% sync damage. Oh, and his role is Zone. In case you were worried he didn't do enough.

But here's where we get to the argument that Nate is actually support. Unova Pride as a Master Passive is already fantastic, right? Okay. This Circle business? It's a field effect Master Passive, where the region requirement counts himself. 10% damage boost at base with +10% more for each Unova, and 5% damage reduction with 3% more for each Unova. Nate's default is 20% and 8%. Oh but wait. This one counts sync. So on a full Unova team, Nate has 280% sync damage, with Field effect benefits. Sure bro. Very normal. But the Circle applies to all allies. The field powers up all Dragons. His Circle move also gives the whole team PMUN. Nate does a surprising amount for physical Unova pairs just by existing.

Which means the detriment should be obvious. Like so, so many Techs in eras past, the downside of being the strongest thing your supportive tools can benefit is that no one else really gets to shine. Yes, this is a godsend for base Iris' damage. Show me a scenario where base Iris contributes while Nate's throwing around this much power. I'll wait. There's also the ongoing issue of off-type, which Nate can very much do, but how relevant is that for other physical pairs when Nate's doing all the heavy lifting? The Circle benefit is 40% sync damage to any physical ally, but no one comes close to Nate's level of sync damage. There's also the issue of Dragon Zone potentially overwriting other effects you wanted. I don't think this Nate is bad at all, but I think in my heart I wanted him and Iris to work together, rather than Iris being superficially attached to him.

Neo Champion Rosa Who is, apparently, not coming out until Christmas. Go figure. Ugh. Anyway. Meloetta's finally here. It tanked Lisia/Meloetta, but I can't complain too much. I will, however, complain about Psychic Support. Shoulda been Normal.

Rosa is...a choice. Imagine Winter Rosa but good. On the surface, her Buddy move seems reminiscent of Winter Rosa's trainer move. A random +2 to any of the seven stats, with +1 crit baked in. But, NC Rosa transforms, and through a passive, grants +1 PMUN/SMUN to all allies. Now we're on that NC Bede shit. Rosa also applies a Psychic and/or Fighting Rebuff to all opponents, given her Buddy move is AoE, and has a TM that gives +2 PMUN or SMUN to all allies, with 2MP. Rosa stacks, and stacks quickly. Zinfogel is gonna love this. Rosa also boosts her own Sp Def or Def by 1 every attack in either form, so steadily building up defenses. Potion with double MPR on grid is a nice defensive backbone. Sing in Aria is Gauntlet cheese, Teeter Dance with Stop Hitting Yourself 5 on grid from Pirouette is great. Team Sharp Entry feels alright. Team Stoic and Force Field are nice for boosting both defenses, allowing Rosa to consistently boost something for the team. Easy Pickings is really funny if you want to lean into Confusion, but is very slow acting. And most important of all? Support/Sprint role is real. Bless.

Now for the bad. Sing is borderline useless, as she does not receive tools to max its accuracy, and has no built-in Vigilance like Melony. Her specific buffing profile is fairly slow, so while the moves up next stacking is legendary, she relies on allies who are self-sufficient and does far less for the low tier strike pairs. But most of all? Her Buddy Move conditional is a god-forsaken nightmare. Don't get me wrong, the abilities it possesses are extremely good. But the tradeoff is, if she drops to "pinch" range, it turns off. Rosa is the support. She's taking all the damage. And her defensive profile is...okay but not great. The numbers are there, but she's not exactly maxing out bulk with ease, as boosting both defenses is a high investment that takes from other tools. Gauntlet will have no problem with this, but CS runs the risk of knocking her out of range in one shot, ruining her potential to so much as cap crit, much less anything else. And that makes her profile much worse off as a support, taking away any serious buffing potential, and her main source of value with moves up next each attack. Obviously Rosa is still fantastic, but my general point is, Rosa thrives off of not having to take significant hits, and CS gets stronger and stronger as points go up. Off-typing in particular may be hard for her as more is put into offensive pressure from the opponent.

Winter Viola OH MY GOD I LOVE HER OUTFIT, THIS IS SO CUTE

Okay, Viola is a Bug Field with Tech Role. Odd choice, but listen. We can move on from Ingo. OR SO YOU'D THINK. Viola's got some problems. Struggle Bug is fine but feels specifically aligned to Alder Strats. Her Buddy move being 1MP really hurts, as a -1 to all seven stats would be amazing if you could do it more than just the one time. Paralysis and Confusion are good, but Confusion wears off, and unfortunately, tends to wear off fast. TM is nice, giving +2 Sp Atk/crit to any ally, and Bug Zone as a callable effect is nice, because you need that Zone to use Buddy Move in the first place. The real fun is that her passives really mess with paralysis. A random -2 to any of the seven stats per attack, and a rank-5 boosted disruption to opponent action when paralyzed. That's pretty good. Grid boosts team damage against paralyzed opponents 20%, she gets Shocking Slowdown for speed debuffs which is a decent combo with Struggle Bug, Power Play and Static Shock 5 are free money, and Grand Entry 2 can complete her own setup by turn 2. All in all, pretty decent!

Unfortunately, Ingo. While I do think Viola is superior given her tremendous coverage and utilities and better Zone pressure, the problem is she came second. Ingo's been around, and does an okay job. What does Viola provide for you that makes her worth pulling as a Zone pair over Ingo? The shorthand is, she supports Alder better. And that's kinda it. High DPS Bug pairs are her best friends, and the Sp Atk drops fit Alder perfectly. There's an argument for her being the special focus to Ingo's physical, but she lacks Sp Def drops with any consistency so I'd hesitate to say that. If anything, she lacks much consistency at all, barring Sp Atk which is rarely need, and Spd which is often needed but seldom good. She feels more like a generalist who happens to have good Bug options available, if only for herself. I like her a lot, but if you've been making do with Ingo, I wouldn't consider this a necessary upgrade.

Winter Sycamore Oh wow, they actually did a Sycamore alt. And with Gogoat of all things. Gotta get us primed for the Grass High Score event, I suppose.

Support/Strike. Sure dude. Razor Leaf, Potion, Dire Hit All+, TM boosts both defenses +4 and Speed +2. Can...can we please just let Evelyn get an EX? My god. His passive is fascinating. Lowers the foe's Grass rebuff, but raises your team's. This is so, so specifically about Grass High Score it's kinda hilarious. It felt so unnecessary to constantly tease that next was Grass, but it was so we all looked at Sycamore shaking his ass at us and thought Lysandre thoughts about it. Unfortunately, they over-kit him for it. Group Grass Guard is definitely something, but I want you to ask yourself: how often is Grass damage relevant? Outside of Tapu Bulu, how many Grass-type stages are there in CS? You can count them on one hand. Because Grass is terrible in the main series so no Elite Four member relies on it. You have Blue's Exeggutor, Hau's Decidueye...and honest to god that might be it. When you make yourself this specific, you run the risk of locking yourself into a small niche. And that's kinda what happens. His grid isn't bad. Flabbergast 5 for a 60% confuse rate, Triage Tank (not the team kind), Revenge Boost and Dashing Team 4 for decent gauge management, Endurance, and Team Sync Regen are all nice, and it does promote Sycamore as a defensive support whose focus is on gauge management. A good overall call. But I can't help but feel his kit is fairly...standard? Barring the speed, nothing about this entices me. It's too heavy on "BUY ME FOR HIGH SCORE" and not enough on what could have been more dynamic traits. He's just "Better Evelyn." Which. God, that's still depressing.

Lodge Jasmine Alright, everyone shut up! It's Jasmine time! She even got Magnemite, which is the exactly thing I wanted! Support though, little bummed it wasn't an F2P Special Steel striker. Perrserker was limited availability, we need anti-Glacia tech, man.

Thundershock, Gyro Ball, fucking Screech on a support, and TM boosts Def/Sp Def/Acc +1. Oh no. Gladion strats. Endurance, Lithe, and Recuperation 1 are cute, at least. Endurance in particular being a nice saving grace. It's not the worst kit I've seen? But also, only +1 on defenses, and no crit rate. Uh oh, girl.

Grid provides HE4 (couldn't make the para 100%, huh?), Natural Remedy, Shocking Slowdown (too inconsistent given para rate), Team Sharp Entry (!), Interference Immunity (!!), Team Full Bracing Infliction if you're into that, Gyro Ball: Fleet Feet for gauge, First Aid 2 (ANGERY), and the coveted All Ramped Up. That last one saves it. Both defenses and Sp Atk with some accuracy is very nice. That's a mild gamechanger. With Team Sharp Entry in the mix, that's also saving a turn of setup for any Dire Hit+ options. I won't say Jasmine is anything exceptional. There are very clear faults here. Lacks crit rate for F2P pairs, lacks serious buffing in any category and instead spreading out, inconsistent secondary effects like paralysis limit her utilities. Screech is nice though. Like Screech. It's just. All Ramped Up. That's the opposite of Screech, girl.

Jasmine's kinda messy, but this is my second favorite character. All in.

Kukui Oh good, Dingus McBingus gets a grid expansion. Unless it's Leer utility, get out. Trip Up only on Rock Tomb is ass, Trip Wire 2 is something for his Cakewalk set, Berserker 2 is good for self-setup I suppose, Critical Infliction is nice. Basically, three uses of Leer caps his offensive needs now, and he gets a free -2 Spd to all foes on entry. ...you know what, yeah. I'll say that's actually pretty good, man. You kinda nailed this one, color me impressed.

Lorelei *deepest sigh* Okay, look. I'll probably do it because Lorelei is very pretty and I like those colors. But like. Remember when Shauntal got her EX, and I was kinda harsh about "this is hilariously not worth your time?" Because Shauntal has a pretty bad sync? Okay, that was obviously a little harsh, right? I've used Shauntal EX and even without investment, it helps her with F2P clears. There was something for her. But Lorelei? There is nothing for Lorelei. God cannot save her, much less an EX. Her Tech conditional is "foe is frozen." This is impossible to achieve with any kind of consistency, barring Dickshit McFuckhead who we're not going to bother talking about, because fuck dude if you have him what the hell are you doing using Lorelei? As a result, Lorelei has...well, nothing. There is nothing Lorelei does well as far as sync goes. Her course in life was supposed to be Blizzard DPS and they fucked that up. So instead, take this character whose sync nuke is perpetually gimped to high hell because you can't get the most meaningful increase to damage at anything better than a 30% rate. And that's before factoring in how fast people thaw out. Which is hella fast. Lorelei cannot be relied on for nuking. This is a bad decision. Do not waste your resources in this manner. Do better.

[moonyfbm]

I never saw any Ford or Stanley hate bc I wasn't on the Internet when it was at its peak. So recently, when I rewatched the series, I was completely objective.

But now it's coming back and I have the unfortune of experiencing it.

I see hate towards Stanley, which is fucked up. Being compared to "the smarter sibling" sucks, it's hurtful. Being blamed for everything without having a chance to defend yourself or be believed.. sucks. He was disowned, kicked out, but his own parents. And from there on his life just went further and further south. Even his "happy life" at the shack is just to prove himself to his parents, and bring back his brother he kicked into the portal. Even that first reunion, they fought. Stan has been surviving on the lowest of lowest, sees his brother again for the first time in ages and they fight.. Stan gets hurt, then he accidently gets rid of his brother. The guilt on top of the trauma is bad combo.

I see hate towards Ford, which is equally as fucked. He had huge amounts of pressure on him by his parents and the school. He got betrayed by his closest person, his brother. He went on to prove himself as well, but he made one dumb decision.. summoning Bill. He was manipulated, fooled, tortured; abused by Bill. Through no fault of either, he got his college buddy hurt, the beginning of his descent into insanity. The guilt is eating him up, and he tried to stop everything, take it all down bc of the mistakes he blames himself for. But Bill got him trapped. He's still being abused, but now aware. Then he sees his brother for the first time again and they fight. In the fight Stan gets hurt. Again Ford managed to hurt someone he loved. The psychological trauma is just growing. Then he's trapped in the portal, without human contact for (what 30 years? I don't remember), and people hate on him for treating ppl oddly? Brother in christ he hasn't seen a human being for so long, he hasn't been in his own dimension for so long. He was robbed of his adult years, he was robbed of human contact, society's growth and other shit. He lost years of his life.

And ofc like @azelmaandeponine said, when Ford got back, he tried to reconnect with his sudden family. He still has decades to catch up on, family deaths and births, and such. But first he gotta save the world from his abuser. This shit is so traumatic for a human being. And Stan's there trying to do what's most important to him now, protecting the kids. But this is above him. They've both been in deep shit.

Like, if you blame Ford for being manipulated by a LITERAL DEMON. Then you should blame Stan for gambling away all his money, "not getting his ass to a normal job and just earn up money", "just stop being poor" etc etc etc. You cannot hate one and not hate the other, tho neither deserves hate. They're so.. human. They've made such human mistakes, and being fucked by the universe in a way that's neither fault.

I just wanted to add more bc I've been thinking about it a lot. Thanks for making the post!

I love Stan, but it's the other way around. Stan is the beloved one. Ford is the one everyone lambastes for *checks notes* being an autistic-coded abuse victim that has flaws.

You...you realize he was still mad at Stan because of the betrayal aspect, right? Not because of WCT? (Also I'm pretty sure he knew it existed). Stan was like. The one person Ford thought he could count on. Then Stan betrayed him. It turned out that he DIDN'T love him unconditionally like he thought. (No, Stan didn't ACTUALLY betray Ford, and Ford is WRONG about the idea that Stan doesn't love him but Ford has no way of knowing that).

Ford haters learn media literacy challenge.

Bill WAS abusing Ford. And if you don't think that matters, please never talk to an abuse victim.

Also lol. "I'm not victim blaming!" *proceeds to victim blame*

You literally are basically saying "why did you date him? You were warned he was bad news!"

Shut the fuck up lol.

More victim blaming. Also he thought he was summoning demon google.

And Ford has no way of knowing what Stan's been doing in that timeframe? He's not omniscient.

The apprenticeship was literally about him spending more time with Dipper, but go off I guess. He thought Mabel would be fine. He wasn't being "dismissive of her feelings", he thought highly of her, and thought she would be fine. We have now reached the ableism that Ford haters tend to spew--that is, demonizing him for his neurodivergent traits. Ford isn't emotionally intelligent and has low empathy, so clearly that means he prioritizes work over family and doesn't care about Stan or the twins (objectively untrue).

Yes, clearly the guy who stopped working immediately to play a game with his great nephew prioritizes work over family.

Then that last bit--more gross victim blaming.

"It's his own fault he got abused and tortured!"

Ford haters ARE the most insufferable people in the fandom. They hate autistic-coded abuse victims, and it's clear. Their lack of compassion for abuse victims and the victim blaming is disgusting.

[gennianydots]

raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by patpran 👀

[veliseraptor]

Do you have any thoughts on Xie Wang and Zhao Jing? (woh version)

still haven't read TYK yet (it's on my list! gotta finish Qiang Jin Jiu first though) so this is in fact the only version of this relationship I could speak to! I have no idea what it looks like in the novel but I do know that the Scorpion King is a very different character there.

so this is a prime case of "got sort of distracted from the main plot by whatever the fuck was going on in that side plot" as is very typical for me in most things I read and watch.

because as I was watching and as I kept watching it just kept getting...weirder and more toxic and as I love Xie Wang an unreasonable amount (give me a pretty man desperate for the approval of an authority figure and willing to do appalling things to make that happen and I'm gone) I kept being like "buddy! stop! you deserve better, ditch his ass" re: Zhao Jing but of course he's not going to ditch his ass, he can't, both I think because of a sunk cost fallacy (he's put in this much effort! can't stop now!) and like. he loves this guy. don't understand why personally but there you go

(I don't remember if we get much/anything about how Xie Wang is tied to Zhao Jing, how they ended up linked together, but I'm fascinated by it.)

but yeah. watching over the course of the series as Xie'er gives his yifu chance after chance despite all evidence that Zhao Jing cares about him only inasmuch as he is useful and would discard him very quickly if it was expeditious to do so, continuing to believe that if he just does one more thing right then...but then he hits the limit of that and does, you know, the normal thing. namely making Zhao Jing utterly dependent on him.

it's just...he doesn't kill him, and I think that's what gets me the most about this absolute mess of a relationship. if he killed him that would be normal, for a given value of normal. but instead when Xie Wang hits the limit of his ability to make excuses for Zhao Jing's treatment of him, he still wants to keep him, and he arranges things so that he will - so that Zhao Jing will be completely in his power, but he frames it (and I do think he means it) in a way, as taking care of him.

I know it's not literally a father/son relationship but the best word I have for it is oedipal. as the kids say it's absolutely rancid and that's why it remains the part of Word of Honor I think about most. I want nice things for Xie Wang but Xie Wang wants Zhao Jing for Xie Wang which is not actually the same thing even though he'd like it to be. prime example of wanting a thing that's bad for you. into it.

[n1ght-shift]

I am cringe.. But I am free.

UHMN... Okay so I made him up a family tree because I've been thinking about his niece a lot. And the fact he still seems on good terms with her even if it was a super brief mention. D2b family HCs?! 🤯

I ALSO COLOUR CODED IT BASED ON WHAT I THINK HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM WOULD BE (AS A RESULT OF NO LONGER BEING STEVEN) I DON'T EVEN KNOW DON'T QUESTION ME

I also wanted to.. Uhmn.. Explain each relationship he has with these family members but just to clarify let me explain the colours more-!

Green || A good relationship, hardly affected by him becoming Dr. Two-brains.

Orange || It's.. Ify. They don't really like him anymore, nobody down right hates him. It's more pity, and distancing themselves from him because of how much he's changed and or because of his crimes.

Yellow || Complicated! They're noticeably affected by the change, but don't dislike him like the oranges. Very concerned. Don't really view his crimes as his.

// FAMILY DYNAMICS / RELATIONSHIPS //

Dad – His dad and him were fairly close when he was Steven, not exactly best buddies but they would talk normally and do stuff together on occasion. No hard feelings about anything. Probably bonded over science a lot when he was a kid. After Steven became Dr. Two-brains and began crimes he feels his son is well. What he is. A criminal. Not taking into account the reasons why, and not having the willingness to reach out to who his son used to be. He wants him imprisoned, for an actual normal amount of time, and for him to stop his life of crime after completing the sentencing. And come back to them. As Steven. Of course they all want Steven back, but he's the least accepting of the new identity.

Mom – He also had a normal relationship with his mother, maybe a bit closer because I imagine her the type to coddle. She misses Steven deeply, and doesn't really understand who or what Dr. Two-brains is. Finding interaction with him awkward and uncomfortable but not wanting to abandon her son for an incident/experiment gone wrong. Tries to talk to him normally, but there's a difference. And they both know it.

Sister – his only sibling! I think they were very very close siblings, and still are, she obviously misses her brothers old ways but does her best to ignore the change and it doing a better job than their mother. They hang out, talk, and still interact like family. Where as others act more as though he's a stranger. Reminds him of a lot of old memories to try to keep that side of him going.

Brother in law – they didn't really know one another beforehand, they had met, but not bonded. His brother in law worries having a criminal around his children, despite Two-brains displaying absolutely zero threat to them it is understandable. Avoids him but will talk to him if interacted with. I feel like he calls d2b “buddy” in a really condescending way. His sister has told him about what he used to be like and he believes her but it doesn't help.

Niece and Nephew – Good! In canon he seems to be on a good relationship with his niece, given the mention of her graduation being a normal thing. I imagine the same for his nephew who is younger than his niece. They remember how he was before, they think Steven is more fun. But are both worried in their own ways.

Uncle – I think our resident weird uncle had a weird uncle of his own! Had to learn the trade from someone. Dynamic is about the same as his mother, but a but more open and joking with d2b. Also trying to keep his memories intact.

Cousin – they were friends beforehand, not best buds that talked a lot but they had an okay relationship. Now the cousin is a bit scared of him but tries to uphold the positive memories and realizes that he can still be normal sometimes.

As for Dr. Two-brains himself he feels bad for creating a noticeable shift in his family and loves them all, still acting like their family member. Just a very different one. Squeaky doesn't like them, I imagine, but Steven over powers in this regard.

[by-lalani]

oh buddy, there’s a lot unfortunately😭

i’m so sorry if you loved it or are offended, but i have so much rage in my body after this series, even years later. you can disagree and i will FULLY respect it, i just can never see this book in a good light. this is truly just me being a hater and ranting w/o making sure i sound literate🫶🏽

i really disliked the writing style, first off; it felt like a fanfiction (which is NOT a bad thing—we love fanfiction lmao) of a story that we know nothing about. the author wrote the exposition in random scenarios every now and then, which is SO disappointing since she would gloss over the crucial backstories of her characters to jump into a meaningless plot where the characters said and did next to nothing. she doesn’t establish her characters in a way that lets us decide who the characters are on our own. instead of letting us learn about the characters to grow and rave about them as much as she does, she tells us how likable or “morally grey” they are. some people eat it up nonetheless, but i couldn’t because i could not for the life of me understand why libby was “so annoying”—she would just ask questions, which is COMPLETELY NORMAL?? y’all are at a secret society that you knew nothing about, why the hell are the other characters NOT asking questions? then there’s parisa, whose one personality trait is being hot. and callum, who isn’t a morally grey babygirl, he’s just a pathetic psychopath💀 don’t get me started on the rest of her characters. anyway, the point is that the bones of the story are completely skipped so the author can tell us about a bunch of pricks being horny. for each other. for some reason.

next, the magic system makes no sense. the secret society makes no sense. the enemies make no sense. nothing makes sense. there’s no drive behind the characters, plot, or societies besides wanting to be the most elite pretentious douchebags.

for the third point, it feels like the author bit off more than she could chew. in EVERY book. she’d set up something interesting, just to toil around for 300 pages and then give us a shitshow of an ending each time. we have such a good premise in the beginning of the story and then we fall off; the author’s not even doing a book that’s character-driven (i LOVE character driven books, but this is NOT that) because in character driven books, the characters are still DOING something—whether it contributes to the plot or theme, or not. there’s still something happening. meanwhile in this series, the characters are literally just pondering and yapping for SO LONG. it doesn’t help that majority of them are caricatures of people instead of the complex characters olivie blake claims them to be. this is a huge reason as to why reading the books feels so painful to me.

fourth, why is the writing so pretentious?? the author has no idea what she’s talking about. it’s literally pseudo-intellectual NONSENSE. this is dark academia, but why does the academia make no sense😭

also, the ending to the entire series wasn’t satisfying for me at all. i’m not a hater of sad or dark endings, so long as they’re done right. the way she handled the third book felt like the author had no idea what she was doing and spiraled until she shat that out. characters were not done true justice and their contributions to the series truly amounted to nothing in hindsight. there wasn’t a point to any of it for me.

and lastly, there was no redeeming quality of the overall story to me. everything was so poorly handled and i finished it out of pure stubbornness and curiosity of how she was going to end this series. which i now regret😭

i think if olivie blake had an editor, more time to fully flesh everything out, and no social media influence on her writing, this could’ve been done better. i truly do respect the author’s grind and her passion to write tho. and i find a lot of joy in seeing fanfiction writers publish their own stories and getting recognition, i just wish i found as much joy in The Atlas 6. unfortunately, this is not the case lmao.

so yeah, i’m all for you and other people having opinions and finding beauty where others can’t, but holy shit this was the worst thing i’ve read and i can not ever forgive my fyp for shoving this down my throat, just for it to turn out to be the biggest disappointment. i’ve suddenly become very cautious of who i get book recs from now😅

(but fr if you listed the reasons why you loved it, i’m ALL FOR reading that bc i think it’s cool when people see things that i didn’t :))

you guys i genuinely can’t

i’ve been a The Atlas6 anti since the beginning

BUT THE LAST BOOK JUST CONFIRMED AND VALIDATED MY HATRED

literally the worst books i’ve ever read😭 what was the purpose of that ending PLEASE😭😭😭😭😭

[prismaticpichu]

Alright Tumblr ate my ask the first time so this is Take 2.

I had this idea that I thought was Right up your alley: Zack explaining to Sephiroth that m&ms and mini m&ms are in fact different and there is Absolutely a superior one! Complete with Sephiroth forcibly trying each type because Zack came prepared!

Ok, ok. First off-

Heck YEAHHHH!!!! Mini m&ms are SO different than the normal ones!!! I’ve been fighting for this cause for so, so long…. ;-; Ohhhhhhh the beautiful, chocolatey, Willy-Wonkity validation!!!

*mops self off floor, reapplies glasses.* Uh huh… uh huh. I see. Yes ma’am this is 110% Zack Fair territory! Phenomenal scenario xD xD

It all starts as Zack is taking a stroll down ShinRa HQ, heading to the training grounds for some morning stretches, when he stumbles across something shiny.

Well bowl him over with a popsicle stick! It’s a lucky Gil!

Trajectory is immediately changed upon finding this lucky gil. The pupper starts thinking about where in his pocket he could keep it, somewhere where it could be a golden charm no matter where he went—wait, no! He can’t keep this lucky Gil to himself! That would be so selfish. He already was blessed with the luck, and now it is time to pass the treasure on to someone who deserved it even more. That was what lucky Gil were placed on the floor for!

And what better than to spend it on his bestest buddy?

Seph’s office is just a jump, skip, and elevator away, and a sitcom guitar riff later and Zack is bouncing inside. He asks his buddy what’d he like from the vending machine—no exceptions! Ofc there is the predictable “it’s 7:45 in the morning why would I eat candy…” and yadyayadya SHUDDUP, MAN! YOU ARE THE WORST.

The truth though? The truth is that Sephiroth’s diet was forcefully meddled with long long ago, and he is very pleased at the offer—especially when chocolate comes into the equation. The big bad General loves his chocolate <3 <3

A decent amount of time passes as Sephiroth muses over which candy to choose… for it really is a long, painful endeavor of forked decision… until finally, Wii Party applause erupting in the background, the man makes up his mind.

“Would you get those… chocolate fish bowl pebbles?”

“M&Ms?” Zack immediately translates. “Sure! Mini or regular?”

There’s a pause. A serious one. “What’s the difference?”

Oh. OH. Oh no. Oh NO NO NO. He did NOT. Zack’s world is crushed, all from the single, careless, uneducated sentence that left his friend’s lips. All his life… all his life people said he was, like, deranged for thinking m&m’s baby brother had a different taste—his parents, his school friends, his SOLDIER friends… not Seph too!

“You’re joking, right? RIGHT?”

“No, Zack. They would taste exactly the same.”

“But they’re different! I’m telling you!”

“It’s all in your head.”

“No it’s NOT!”!

“It’s a marketing technique; they have to make people think they’re different.”

Who put this guy on the PLANET???

This goes back and forth for quite some time, until finally, Zack just smushes his head into Sephiroth desk. Boom. Slam. The pupper’s heart cannot take any more of this. Is he really gonna have to become a missionary? Really? REALLY?? Is he really gonna have to travel across the land on a camel and awaken everyone by himself…?!

Meanwhile, Sephiroth doesn’t even see this as a pathetic display over candy. Not even for a lick of a second. The man is sitting there now, and feeling totally and utterly ashamed at himself. Look at how betrayed Zack feels—look at how hurt. And he is the cause of this. He long promised Zack he would never have to feel the sting of betrayal again; he was supposed to protect him. He needs to fix this.

“…Would you like me to try them?”

Zack’s head snaps up. “Yes plz!”

Ifrit. He’s been duped.

So as Sephiroth is scanning over his life choices (again), Zack zooms out of the office and returns with two—count ‘em TWO—types of m&ms (on the bright side, lucky Gil lives another day! This was just nibbled from the paycheck). Then chocolate is poured into both of Sephiroth’s palms, because remember kids, a bit of added glove flavor really does wonders.

“Alright, bud! Eat both of them and tell me there’s a difference.”

Not wanting to hurt Zack’s feelings (again), and also because chocolate, Sephiroth relents and pops an ordinary m&m into his mouth. It’s tasty. It’s gone much too quickly. He’s kinda sad now.

“Now the mini one!”

Sephiroth plucks up the baby candy too, but he wants to make it very clear from his glazed kitty eyes that he is purely indulging Zack (and also bc chocolate). Under no circumstances is he actually going to sit there and believe that just because something is 3/8 inches in diameter compared to its normal size that it will EVER ta—

…Oh. Oh my.

Now, the thing about being a superhuman, DNA-tampered-celestial cat-man-guy-thing, is that you are born with very KEEN… well, very keen everything, but mostly very keen taste. You will be tasting the rainbow, and Sephiroth… Sephiroth does taste that itty-bitty, wondrous, milky thread of a divergence in flavor. And it is… it is GOOD. And that wasn’t even his epiphany!

Of course! How could he be so foolish?? The surface area:volume ratio would ofc make it taste sweeter!

It is that day that Krakatoa re-erupted, right as Sephiroth is given the tightest and squeeziest squeeze Zack has ever squeezed (don’t worry, don’t worry, he finished chewing!). It is also from that day forward that Zack would always have someone to phone up whenever science is challenged. It is from that day forward that ShinRa entered a true, metaphysical state of awakening <3

I mean no one disagrees with Sephiroth’s opinion that’s really it.