#I love anakin skywalker so much I need him in ways I can’t even explain.

[veayrss]

𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐗𝐘.

Summery: waking up in mid air falling to your death in a world that is definitely not earth? Then seeing anakin skywalker and obi-wan kenobi?

Warnings: Swearing

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧, 𝐎𝐛𝐢-𝐰𝐚𝐧, 𝐘𝐨𝐝𝐚, 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐮

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭:𝟏.𝟑𝐤

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝟏, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝟐, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝟑, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝟒, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝟓, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞...

I walk in, eyes looking everywhere and at everyone. This is a dream come true, something I always wanted and wished would happen. I see senator bail talking to boba fett. Outside I seem calm but on the inside I'm totally fangirling. As we made it to the big front doors I stopped walking and just took a moment. Obi-wan and Anakin stop as well and watch me staring at the doors.

“So.. this isn't fake. This is real?- oh my god.'' I bend over, holding my weight in my knees and breathing heavily. Obi-wan and Anakin look at each other with questioning looks and Obi-wan clears his throat, “Uhm, Ms L/N are you okay..?” he asked me, his tone full of concern yet i can hear a bit of amusement.

I take in a deep breath and put one hand up shaking my head, “yeah, yeah, yeah, i just like- need a moment to collect myself.” I gulped loud, I could hear Anakin sigh, annoyance filling that sigh and I shot up making him look at me and probably think I'm even weirder than he thought. “Let's go.” I mumbled quickly after making awkward eye contact with Anakin, making Obi-wan sigh with a slight chuckle.

He opened the doors with the force, I watched in amazement.

~~~~~~~~~~

Anakin watched her with a look of wonder and curiosity, his eyes never left her since he saw her, he couldn't explain why but he felt drawn to her. She looked like one of a kind, it was clear she wasn't from any planet he's heard of, been to, explored. So he is very excited to find out where she came from. He found it amusing and adorable at how amazed she was with the temple, though he didn't find what was so amazing about it. He thought it's probably because he spent his young days here and was used to it.

But watching her look around all amazed just because of the temple he wants to show her around the planet, show her all the world's he's traveled to and show her all the amazing things he found there.

As they walked into the councles room and walked in last, Obi-wan went first, me second. He stood off to the side, hands being his back just like obi-wans

“State your name.” Master Windu damned, making you straighten up your posture and slightly nervous. “Y/N L/N Sir.” you answered, tone more mature then how you answered when Obi-wan asked.

He nodded his head leaning back on his chair, “care to explain why you were falling from the sky?” he asked you, his glare cold and his tone reminds you of when your parents catch you doing something you're not supposed to.

You sucked your teeth picking off the red nail polish you applied just last night, “well, you see I'm not even sure how the hell i got here personally myself.” you started off, clapping your hands together rocking back and forth on your feet, “one moment i'm in my bed, the next i'm freezing my ass off because i'm falling from the damn sky. Then these lovely gentlemen-” you looked off to the side waving at Anakin and Obi-wan, then brought your attention back to Windu and Yoda, “saw me and saved me.’ you finished bringing your hands to your side and smiling awkwardly.

“How did you know who they were or about us?” he asked, making you chuckle nervously, your hands started to sweat as you whipped them off your sweat pants. Anakin hated how Windu was making you nervous and uncomfortable, he doesn't understand why but he feels protective over you, want needs you to feel safe and secure, he doesn't want anyone make you feel any less, you are just a damsel in distress, to him in his point of view your his damsel in distress.

“Okay. this might- this will make me sound like a fucking crazy person, but hear me out” everyone seemed intrigued now, especially anakin and Obi-wan.

Though despite all of your silly actions and weird behavior Anakin couldn't help but find it cute how every time you talked you moved your arms and hands.

“See this is my theory it is probably right, where i am from you all,” you pointed at everyone making sure they get the hint, “are fake.” you smiled, putting your fingers together, everyone seemed startled by this information and most seemed as if they didn't believe it,

“You may go on.” yoda spoke for the first time upon your arrival and you got this sudden boost of confidence because the little green man seemed to be more on the intrigued side of this whole thing.

“Okay, get your popcorn folks because this is about to get crazy.” you said taking a deep breath, Anakin smirked at the fact of how you're so dramatic, but it makes him want to know you even more.

“Im from another dimension- yes i know that sounds fucking bonkers, its coming out of my mouth. But where i'm from, my planet -its called earth by the way- you all are fictional characters, you're from one of the world's best movie trilogies. Like I know everything about you all. I know what will happen in the future. I know what happened in the past and what's going on right now- maybe.. But beside that point-” you rambled, making everyone shocked, surprised, everything.

“See anakin- you're currently 19. Obi-wan you're 29. And where I'm from, the people who play you their names are Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor.'' As you went on explaining everything everyone started to believe you more, after you finished the room was silent, so quiet i bet if you put your mind to it you could hear the beats of everyone's hearts.

“Okay, if what you're saying is true, how do you go home?” Obi-wan spoke up, scratching his chin thinking hard. You shrugged, you looked over at anakin. He was staring at the floor before looking up at you, he seemed as if he was going to speak and then he did. He asked a question you wished no one asked, especially him.

“What happens in the future?” you stand there, the room became silent again catching everyone off guard but also wanting to know what you were going to say, even Obi-wan had this look of curiosity.

“Look Anakin, no matter how much i want to tell you and fix all the wrong, make all the rights even better i can't. There's lore. I cannot ruin that. There are things that are so important that one fix, one mistake, will ruin everything. Trust me when I tell you I want to tell you all, everything in detail, but I can't and it's killing me, but I just can't.” you spoke a tone of sadness yet determination, flashes of the future running in your mind.

anakin turning into the darkside, his fight with obi-wan before count Palpatine found him and put him in that dark broadening suite, him and ashoka, luke and leia, Padme, everything.

Anakin nods, understanding, but you can feel how disappointed he was. “Right you are young Y/N. The future has in store for us, we cannot ruin.” you looked behind yourself and smiled at yoda.

Anakin only watched you, everything tuning out as he saw your H/C hair, it looks so soft he wants to play with it. Your side profile looked as if the best artist throughout the galaxy made it, your beautiful E/C shining through the bright evening sun, seeing your eyes close as you smile at yoda, your lips turning into a smile showing your teeth made him jealous and envy yoda for getting that sight and not himself.

He doesn't understand why he's feeling this way. It's as if every thought, memory, fantasy of Padme was erased. The only woman that took over his mind right now was you yet he just met you? He knows your time spent here with him and his Master is going to be very chaotic, he feels as if even if you said you can't change the future by telling him and everyone else you already have just being here, and the thought of you leaving already breaks his heart.

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 11

royal flowers series masterlist

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pairing: anakin skywalker x f!reader

series summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and adopted cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni. but it's finally time for some fucking SMUT!! piv, a little bit of dress-tearing, a teensy bit of mutual masturbation, grinding, fingering, somewhat of a fuck-or-die situation if you squint, kind of a little soft

a/n: did y’all miss our boy? i missed our boy.

Anakin slips back into the party wordlessly. There’s too much to think about. He finds you almost instantly, his feet taking him to you on instinct as though there’s some sort of magnetic link between the two of you. His hands rest at your hips as you speak to one of the senators, while his lips press into your temple. You’re quick to dismiss the Senator, feigning the excuse of a headache as you slip your hand into Anakin’s and stride out of the banquet hall. 

“What is it?” You ask him in a soft murmur, not wanting to be heard by unfriendly ears. 

“Not here,” Anakin responds, squeezing your hand softly. He can’t find it in him to let go of your hand, and every time he thinks to, it’s like his muscles only fight his mind, gripping your hand tighter. The parts he tamped down for so long, that possessive ugly side of him that he thought he’d finally outgrown thanks to you, makes its way to the forefront of his mind. You don’t even want him, you see him as just a friend, but Maker, there’s something carnal inside Anakin that wants to claim you as his. He wants to sink his teeth into your neck and leave bruises that won’t fade. You’d be his, and not just for show— no, he wants you to know that you’re his too. 

The thoughts in his head make him feel sick; it goes against everything he’s stood for, all his life. He wants to raze the world to the ground, all for you. And if you reject him, he wants to burn the ashes. But Anakin knows it’s wrong. He knows he shouldn’t feel like this. The both of you have a friendship that is still fragile— it took so long to build it to what it is now. There’s trust, but it wasn’t always there. These thoughts aren’t him. Anakin’s distinctly aware that it’s an amplification of all those desires he repressed, but it’s amplified for a reason. His oath to the dark side is already eating at his soul, parasitic and corrosive. 

He needs to tell you what happened. 

“Anakin, are you okay? You feel feverishly warm,” you say, but Anakin only holds your hand tighter and walks faster, practically dragging you all the way to your shared room, slamming the door shut before he lets go of your hand. It’s so incredibly difficult to be around you right now, because every desire that he repressed for months around you is now clawing through his chest, unfiltered, unabashed. He wants you, and his soul is screaming at him to just give in. It’s the influence of the Dark Side, his inability to suppress his urges. 

“It’s Chancellor Palpatine,” Anakin says through gritted teeth. He’s starting to feel genuine pain now. Years and years of Jedi conditioning being split down his body, every memory of anger and hatred and desire and love all coursing through his body, his nerves, setting his skin alight and stealing the breath from his lungs. 

“What do you mean? Anakin, you look sick,” you say, reaching up to his forehead to touch his skin before he swats your hand away. 

“He’s Darth Sidious,” he responds, not bothering to respond to your concern. He’s locked in on you now, predatorial. His heart’s out of control, beating wildly as control and desire war within him. 

“Anakin, please, you need to explain more. You’re scaring me,” you say, watching him cautiously. He looks a mess. He hadn’t looked this disheveled, strands of his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat when you left for the ball. And that look in his eyes, that look of something wild that sets your own heart racing. 

Anakin closes his eyes. He needs to get himself under control. He knows how to, doesn’t he? All that Jedi training, but that’s not the problem. The problem is he wants you. So bad he can taste it. He wants to run his tongue up the length of your body, feel every inch of your skin with his tongue. 

Forget that. Clear your mind, he reminds himself. 

“When we were out there, I told Palpatine—Sidious— about the nightmares I’ve been having. Nightmares about you dying. He began to tell me about Sith legends, about a Lord that could control death itself. He, he offered me the power to save you—“ 

“Anakin, I’ve told you this before, that’s not what I want—“

“Let me speak,” he snarls at you. He’s sure if he looked at you, he’d see the hurt on your face. But he can’t coddle you right now. His body’s on fucking fire. “I swore his fealty to him, to the dark side, because I thought it was knowledge I, we, could use. But it came at a price.” 

“Oh, Anakin,” you whisper, your voice pained. “I never wanted this for you. Never intended for you to get caught up as a spy.” 

“Well it doesn’t fucking matter what you wanted for me now, does it?” Anakin snaps, opening his eyes to glare at you. A mistake. His anger is quickly overtaken by desire, starved and depraved. He knows his Force signature is spiking, and he’s too stretched thin to pull it together. Distantly, Anakin recognizes the threat that exists now; if he represses his desire for you, allows it to build and build and build before it shatters, Palpatine will know something’s wrong. 

“Anakin, please,” You plead with him quietly. “Please, just tell me how I can help.”  

“I need you,” Anakin says. The words slip out of his mouth before he can catch them, like sand falling from his fingers, something ugly and carnal. You blink in stunned silence, and he forces himself to think of some possible explanation. “It’s the Dark Side. Sidious thinks I wanted you enough to turn to the Dark Side, which means that the Force is now influencing me to mimic that amount of desire.”

A lie, Anakin knows. There’s no amount of Force that could plant a desire in him that wasn’t already truly there. But it’s a little white lie that won’t hurt you, right? What’s the difference if he actually wants you or if it’s just the Force if either way, if he doesn’t have you, his cover will be blown? 

“And it’s— it’s hurting you?” You ask him quietly, thoughts running through your head that he can’t quite place. Anakin just closes his eyes and nods in shame. “Then take me,” you say, quiet but assured. 

“I can’t let you do that,” he argues with you, but his resolve is slipping. He needs to get away from you. The part of Anakin that was raised a Jedi is urging him to run, to get away from you just to protect you. The part of him that he’s been fighting his whole life wants to tear your clothes off and fucking devour you. 

You hesitate before him, battling your thoughts before something takes over you and you’re grabbing the front of his suit, lips meeting aggressively as you press yourself close to him. His cock throbs as your lips move against his, teeth and tongue tangling messily as you attempt to undress him. He walks you backwards into the wall, hands finding your ass to hoist you up and allow you to wrap your legs around his torso. Anakin grinds against your center desperately, seeking some sort of movement as you kiss him sloppily. A groan sits in his throat when your hand tangles itself in his hair, pushing his mouth closer to yours. 

He parts his mouth from yours, moving to your neck to drag his teeth down lazily along your artery. Anakin’s hips keep rocking against yours, that familiar ache driving him entirely as he paws roughly at your body.

Maker, it feels good, your body so close to him like this. But it’s not enough. He can still feel the layers of clothing between you, and it’s like he’s not even aware of what he’s doing when his hands tear the seam at the front of your dress like it’s paper.  

“Sorry, princess,” Anakin laughs as your tits spill out, turning around to toss you on the bed before his mouth finds your nipples, the warmth of his mouth making you arch almost involuntarily into his mouth as he settles himself between your thighs again, dropping his hips in between your spread thighs as he desperately seeks that sweet pressure on his aching cock. “I’ll get you a new one,” he murmurs, dragging his tongue against the skin of your breasts. His hands accompany his mouth— squeezing, pinching, playing with them until you’re dripping and aching for him. 

“Maker, you’ve got such nice tits, huh, princess?” Anakin asks you, sitting up to throw his suit jacket off and tug his shirt off. He doesn’t bother with fully taking his trousers off, only managing to unbutton and tug them down to his mid thighs before his desperation forces him back between your thighs. His hands tug your skirt up to expose your soaked panties, grinding his still-clothed length against them as he mouths at your neck. His hands are roaming all over your body desperately before one hand settles at your ass, squeezing as he rocks against you.   

“Anakin, I need you,” You moan, your hands running down the expanse of his back to press him closer to you. Your nails are leaving little crescent-shaped indents in his back with every rock of his hips against yours, and it’s making him go fucking crazy. 

“Sucking on your tits got you this worked up, princess?” He asks you teasingly, biting your lip. His hand strays to your cunt, tugging the fabric to the side before his fingers collect the slick that’s gathered there. He thumbs at your clit, moving in slow, gentle circles until he finds the spot that makes your body twitch under his ministrations, grinning against your lips as he plays with the bundle of nerves. He waits until you’re panting and moaning before easing one finger, then a second, into your tight, slick hole. 

“Oh, baby,” he moans, pulling away from your neck to watch his fingers fuck your cunt. “Maker, you should see this, your filthy little hole taking my fingers so fuckin’ well, pretty thing.” 

“Anakin,” you moan, your own hand straying to his cock and wrapping your hand around his shaft. Your hand matches the rhythm of his fingers in your cunt, making him drop his head to the pillow as all thoughts flee him except the feeling of your pussy and your hand wrapped around his cock. “Want you inside me so bad,” you whimper, stroking him lazily before reaching to squeeze and tug at his balls. 

“Can’t say no to that pretty voice of yours, princess, not when you ask me so nicely,” He says, pulling your panties off from your thighs, down to your calves, where he presses a soft kiss to the inside of your ankles before tugging the cloth off entirely. You’re still donning the remnants of your shredded dress, but you’re too dizzy with lust to care. 

Anakin settles between your legs again, sliding his hands under your thighs to gently manipulate you upwards. His bare cock slides through your slick folds, the head catching on your clit and making you groan in unrestrained want. You reach out to grab his body, dizzy with desire, dragging your hand down his abdomen to angle his cock right towards your aching hole. 

He hums with barely-restrained want when his tip is fit into your slick entrance, shallowly thrusting the fat head in and out while you adjust. “Feels like I belong in here,” Anakin grunts, slowly easing the rest of his length into you. “Taking me so well, princess. Maybe I should’ve done this earlier.” 

You laugh almost deliriously in response, pulling him down to your level to kiss his mouth fiercely. It’s messy, lips and tongues melding together imperfectly as he drives his hips into you. His voice shapes itself into your name, moaning breathlessly as he finds sweet relief in you. 

“Why’d you have to feel so fucking good, huh? Makin’ me feel like switching to the Dark Side was worth it,” Anakin groans. His hips drive into yours sharply, the tip of his cock hitting your g-spot with each move. He finds a rhythm with ease, sinking deep into you with each stroke of his body. 

“Anakin,” you babble, unable to string together a coherent sentence as your body takes it all in — the heat and pressure of his body on yours, his hands roaming up your body, the feeling of him inside you, so deep that your pelvis is flush against his. You can feel your slick dripping to your inner thighs, to his balls, making a mess of it all. Worth it.

“What was that, princess?” He laughs at your fucked-out face, pressing a kiss to your temple. You can feel him smiling against your skin, rocking his body into yours, hear the smack, smack, smack of his hips against yours. 

You clench around him as you feel yourself near your climax, and Anakin groans, but his rhythm remains unfaltering, relentless in his pursuit of pleasure— both yours and his. He thumbs at your clit, pushing you over the edge as an orgasm spreads across your body. Pulsing warmth spreads from your cunt, drowning you in waves of pleasure as your vision whites out at the edges. Anakin’s only barely able to pull himself out of your tight heat, painting your stomach with his cum. 

He finds himself laying down by your side, basking in the afterglow with you. It seems to him that there’s altogether too much to say, so he’ll say nothing at all. He finds himself running his thumb over your cheekbones gently as you blink sleepily at him, finds his heart leaping out of his chest when you cradle his jaw with your hand. He’d like to think that means something, wants it to mean something so desperately. And when he leans in to kiss your hair, his mouth says the things his voice will not, his lips moving almost imperceptibly against your skin. 

I love you.

He hopes you know it, somehow.

[forever--darling]

Hi sweet girl , I want to tell you that your me & the devil fic is one of my favorites and one of the best I'm reading. For me Anakin x reader is perfection 💗.

I don't know if I'm being too ambitious but in blurb ideas I have one for Hayden and one for Anakin. I would like it to be fluffy.

From Hayden it could be something like : How is an outing with him ? ( I love how homey he is ) . Cooking together , watching movies in his living room while cuddling . Him giving that charming smile he has .

And for Anakin I love the idea of how he comforts his girl . Hugs , nicknames , cuddling together .

summary: a night staying in, resulting in getting high, has you unable to focus on the idea of sex when you're too busy laughing & realizing the extent of your feelings

pairings: hayden christenson x young!reader

word count: 1.0k

warnings/notes: age!gap (reader in mid-twenties), mention of weed/getting high, fluff, honeymoon phase af, mentions of sex, mentions of anakin skywalker

p.s. to whoever requested this, I will be doing your second request as well sometime soon.

masterlist

Blue pupils stared back at you, up through the dim lighting of the bedside lamp. Slightly blown out, from the weed in his system or you, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t know as this wasn’t something the two of you ever did often, yet the sudden fire beneath your skin and the precious need to press your body close to his was something you craved. Perhaps, it was the way his lips felt along your collarbones, the sides of your neck, or how his warm hands, calluses in all, felt along the bareskin of your sides. Maybe it was just him in general, how much and how quickly you had found yourself wanting him. 

Or maybe it's just the drugs. 

The way they seemed to warp your senses, filling the air with some sort of stamina that left the particles buzzing and your breath astray. The music sounded quieter than it really was, but perhaps it was masked by the soft giggle that poured out freely. 

“What? What is it?” Hayden sighed, almost disappointed, his head lifting up from where his lips had been attached to your collarbone, kissing softly.

A quirk appeared in his brow, a teasing look in his eyes as he took in the way you appeared so perfectly pinned underneath him. His body on top of yours, legs parting yours, his weight light as they pushed you deeper into the mattress. 

Your laughter quit but only for a moment as you tried to explain just what was so funny to you in the first place, something that wouldn’t have been nearly as funny if you hadn’t smoked as much as you had. For not having done it in a while other than the edibles you had at least once a week, you had forgotten how much to inhale. 

“Nothing,” you said, trying to appear as serious as can be, a smile forming in a fine line as you met his stare. 

Your laugh burst out again, though, and your eyes crinkled shut, unable to stop the way the hormones attacked the neurons in your brain. 

“Right,” Hayden replied, narrowing his eyes playfully, the redness in them no doubt matching your own. “Clearly, it’s nothing if it has you laughing as much as you are.” 

You shook your head, hands automatically wrapping around his strong shoulders, fingers carding through the back of his hair almost like they had a mind of their own. The softness of the short curls had your heart bursting if that was even a feeling. 

“Seriously, tell me.” 

“I can’t.” 

“And why not?” he demanded, thumbs rubbing soft circles across your hips. 

“Because…” 

You were laughing again, and his head was falling, meeting your chest with ease, a sigh filtering out of his lips. 

“Baby,” he mumbled, lips pressed along your collarbone again, but this time no longer gracing them with the kisses you had come to love so much. Almost too much. 

“Fine, okay,” you gave in, laughter diminishing again to nothing but a soft chuckle, tears pricking your eyes as you tried to get the words out, “I was just thinking…” 

“Yeah?” 

“When you’ve hooked up with girls in the past, have they, ever, you know. Asked you to like dress up in costume?”

A deadpan look appeared on his face as his head lifted, eyes finding yours again, “What do you mean?” 

“Like, have they ever been mid-foreplay and straight out asked you if you can dress up as Anakin or Darth Vader?” 

“Where is this coming from?” he chuckled, too, lips lifting into that smile that somehow had convinced you to leave all the guys your age in the past. 

“Or have they asked you to pull out your lightsaber?” 

“Y/N,” he shook his head, mouth forming in an ‘o’, almost in surprise as you continued to laugh. “I’m trying to initiate sex here, and you’re laughing about if other girls have asked me to make their Star Wars sex fantasies a reality?”

“Well, yeah,” you replied, the tone almost accusatory tone as if it was something you would be asking, especially five hits later from the joint that was now stubbed out in the bathroom. 

“You’re ridiculous, you know that,” he laughed then, too, “Why, is that something you want? Do you want to know about my lightsaber?” 

“I mean, yeah, who wouldn’t,” you retorted, laughter falling away to complete seriousness.

 Staring down at him, you felt the silence lull, almost swallowing you whole as the realization appeared again, almost like a car hitting you out of nowhere. The realization that you had fallen for an older man, a man you hadn’t expected to ever want you back, to notice you the way he had. Worse, to love him as you did so quickly, so immensely was too much, too much to understand, to accept. 

Yet there you were, pinned beneath him, heart so full, so well-kept, hoping that it would stay close within his palms for the rest of time. 

That charming smile appeared then on his face, his eyes crinkling slightly, a certain sort of contentment appearing as if he had had a revelation of his own. Words were not enough in that moment, so evidently as he leaned up, connecting his lips with yours, softly, deeply as if he was trying to pour his very own breath into your being. 

You loved this man; that was inevitable. 

After a few seconds, he pulled back, only enough for his lips to depart from yours. That smirk of his still firmly sat along his face. “So, what are you saying? Do you want me to go grab my wardrobe from set? I’m sure you would really have something to laugh at then, wouldn’t you?” 

You loved this man, and you wanted him like this forever.

“Yeah, I would.” 

[0h0possum]

Kote-Ah Kenobi is the son of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Clone Commander Cody.

This is from my Alternate Universe called the ‘Kenobi Family AU’, which I’ll explain now (warning: plot dump):

During the Clone Wars Cody and Obi-Wan start to get close

First it starts as them starting to admire and trust each other in battle and appreciate the other’s leadership skills, etc.

Then it turns into a good friendship and camaraderie, they talk openly with each other on and off the battle field. They feel comfortable enough to snark and joke with eachother 

They more and more seek comfort in each other outside of work and battle

Soon their friendship turns into more, emotionally

This leads to both of them hiding complicated romantic feeling for each other

Obi-Wan has strick moral codes with being a Jedi and having no deep attachments, he desperately wants to be a good Jedi and leader. But he can’t help but love Cody

Cody deals with the social pressures of being a clone. Clones aren’t supposed to have deep emotions, to want things, to have personalities. He’s not aloud to feel anyway for anyone, let alone his General. He’s not considered a person to many, just a tool

(Skipping over much time and details) Eventually they confess to each other

They come to a sort of agreement, they care too much about each other to not be together, but they both have duties to others and agree to always put their jobs first

So they are in a secret relationship with the war as priority

But they both discuss getting ‘fully’ together after the war

Cody talks about fighting for freedom for the clones and getting to choose what they want (he wouldn’t have thought of this before getting with Obi-Wan, he didn’t even consider it a possibility for him or his brothers. But getting the chance to CHOOSE to be with Obi-Wan despite what the war demands gives Cody determination to give all clones a chance to choose what they want)

Obi-Wan wants to be with Cody, he says he’ll help Cody and his brothers in any way to get freedom. He starts to think how maybe Anakin is right about the Jedi rule against attachment being wrong (this may be a lil’ OCC for Obi-Wan but I like to think him loving Cody would make him reevaluate his morals and the Jedi rules)

(Obi-Wan even considers maybe leaving the order after the war to be with Cody, it isn’t the first time he thought about it or even actually left the order after all)

But alas, none of it is to be. Order 66 still happens

It plays out just like canon, and the clone chips are activated and Cody shoots Obi-Wan off the cliff and Obi-Wan flees

(This is where the BIG changes happen)

When Obi-Wan goes with Yoda to the Jedi Temple and sees the dead Younglings, they find Reva Sevander alive and rescue her

Yoda watches her while Obi-Wan confronts and fights Anakin

Afterwards Padmé still dies giving birth

This time though, Obi-Wan looks at Luke, Leia and Reva and just thinks ‘yeahs I’m taking all these kids’

He pretty much decides that since all three of these kids are force sensitive that they’ll need protection and training, he can hide them

Plus his time with Cody taught him the importance of bonds. he regrets telling Anakin to not have attachments and making him feel like he had to hide his and Padmé’s relationship. Maybe if Obi-Wan had been better about talking to Anakin, Anakin wouldn’t have been so afraid to lose Padmé and therefore turn Dark

So Obi-Wan ignores Yoda’s demands to spilt all the children up and just takes them all to a remote planet to raise them

(Reva takes Obi-Wan’s last name since he needs to present her as his adopted child and he lets Luke and Leia have their father’s last name (Skywalker) as memory to the man Anakin used to be (he tells everyone that Leia and Luke are the children of his brother))

Only a little time after settling on their new home and trying to raise two infants and handle a traumatized force sensitive child, Obi-Wan finds out he’s going to have Cody and his child (unplanned)

(It’s up to you to decide how they have a child idk, force magic or weird alien biology who cares)

So 9 months later Obi-Wan now has ANOTHER child (Kote-Ah), this one from his lover who turned on him and who he doesn’t even know if he’s alive (I can’t decide if Obi-Wan DOESN’T know about the chips in the clones and thinks Cody legitimately betrayed him, or if he DOES know about the chips and is just wallowing in the knowledge that Cody and all the clones have had their agency taken away and will be forced to work for the Empire or be killed)

(Either way he can’t risk finding Cody, he has to protect his kids)

Thus Obi-Wan Kenobi ends up with four kids (all who are force sensitive) (in hiding where he’s a wanted man and force sensitive children are killed on sight) (and Kote-Ah looks exactly like a clone so people are quite suspicious when they see him, and even more so when they notice how young he is and how his eyes aren’t amber/brown like all clones)

The AU from here is just Obi-Wan raising Reva, Luke, Leia, and Kote-Ah in secret

Obi-Wan continues Reva’s training and takes her as his Padawan when she’s of age, though it’s not a ‘formal padawan and master’ training because at that point Reva considers Obi-Wan her guardian/parental figure (not quite a father (Kote-Ah, Luke, and Leia call Obi-Wan ‘Dad’), but she does loves and treat him in a similar way to a child and parent)

When Leia, Luke, and Kote-Ah all get old enough he starts to train them, they need to be prepared for if (when) the Empire finds them

That’s the AU for now, there’s more from here but I already wrote a lot! I’ll probably do some more drawing one day and get into Kote-Ah’s personality and the family relationship of the ‘Kenobi Family’ and the plot from here on out.

Extras:

Reva helped a lot with raising the three younger kids

Having them around helped with her anger and trauma of seeing her crechemates killed (she holds no resentment towards Luke and Leia for being the children of the man who killed her crechemates)

Though this makes her very overprotective of Leia, Luke, and Kote-Ah

She’s desperate not to lose her new family

She’s always very mature for her age

All the siblings are very close, but Luke and Leia get along the best and Reva and Kote-Ah are also really close

They all are very close to Obi-Wan, who is very open and affectionate with them due to his regrets of not being as open and loving with Anakin (and his regrets that he never got to have an open and ‘true’ relationship with Cody before everything ended)

Obi-Wan tells many stories of Cody and the clones to Kote-Ah. Obi-Wan wants Kote-Ah to know about his other father and his family. Wants Kote-Ah to feel pride from his ‘heritage’ and not feel ashamed for looking like a clone

In this AU all four of the kids are trained in the Jedi ways and to fight, though way into the future only Reva and Luke take on the formal title of Jedi, Leia and Kote-Ah do not.

[anakin-dovahkiin]

You're Not Weak

Summary: Dealing with slimy and stupid men can really put a hole through your self confidence and faith in yourself. Anakin is there for the aftermath. Snuggles ensue.

Notes: Anakin x fem! reader, soft Anakin, clonebois are the best, and f the patriarchy my dudes. Wrote this literally at 3am contemplating life... so if you're in the same spot, you're not alone. ANDDD there's Anakin hugs for you!

You are a Jedi. You are qualified to do what you do. And yet, simply because you’re a woman, you are cast aside and degraded and made fun of for trying to be a leader. It is exhausting that almost every world you travel to has a fricking patriarchal society that makes you want to tear your hair out. 

This time, you were explaining your part in the war effort to some leaders of this particular planet. The goal was to convince them to allow the Republic to use some of their abandoned land as an outpost against a possible Separatist threat. 

But of course you are not taken seriously.

“And what is your battle experience? Making some rocks float? I doubt with how little you are you could lift much anyway,” one mutters loud enough for everyone present to hear. The other men around him snicker, and you have to resist the urge to Force-choke these assholes because this happens so damn often you’re afraid you’re going to lose it. 

Your clone Commander, Emjee, takes a furious step forward but you stop him with a hand to his chest plate. 

“I know how to engage in combat, I would not be here if I didn’t,” you try to say as calmly as possible.

“Guess Jedi take anyone these days, even the weak ones,” another one says and the cackling continues.

Emjee tries to step forward again but you continue to hold him back. He instead cracked his knuckles, trying to look as menacing as he could with his helmet still on—you know if he was to take it off, these men would be scared shitless by the clone Commander’s intense glare. He was particularly good at those.

Not as good as Anakin, though.

But he wasn’t here, and you shouldn’t have to need his help to get through to these morons anyway. 

Somehow the situation worked itself out—after hours of talking, to the point where Emjee stepped out for a bit—but you couldn’t get rid of that sinking feeling in your stomach as you board the transport back to your command ship.

“Those idiots don’t know what they’re talking about, General,” says Emjee, and he removes his helmet as he does so. “You are one of the strongest Jedi in the Order, and anyone who says otherwise is simply wrong.”

You chuckle. “I don’t know about that, Commander. But I do appreciate the sentiment.”

“General Skywalker says it all the time to me and the boys, he’s even got Kenobi singing your praises.”

Your smile fades at the thought. Anakin was so much stronger than you, so much better than you, and if it ever came to a fight you know you would lose. Not that you would ever fight the love of your life, but still. It almost felt… patronizing to think about him trying to boost your ego. You know that wasn’t what he was doing, but after today you can’t help but overanalyze everything any man has ever said to you, even him. 

He doesn’t deserve to be placed in the same category as those… dumbasses, and you hate yourself even more for trying to relate him to them. 

“Anakin is too nice to me,” you mumble, forgetting to call him ‘General Skywalker’. “And so are you, Emjee.”

The gunship jerks as you dock in the hangar inside your venator class cruiser. You start walking towards your quarters, but Emjee stops you when he taps your shoulder. The Commander still looks a bit peeved by everything, and though you don’t want him to be upset, it warms your heart a bit to see someone angry—besides Anakin—on your behalf, defending you.

(You haven’t seen Anakin in months. Your relationship was a sad little thing because you missed each other terribly every time you separated. You hoped this war would not last forever, that things could go back to the way they were when you could simply exist without something being expected of you. Then, you could be together in the Temple and bask in each other’s light.)

“I… hope I’m not overstepping, Sir, but I contacted General Skywalker while you were negotiating—”

You furrow your eyebrows. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Well—”

“I can do this on my own, trooper! I don’t need anyone’s help to do anything, I am perfectly capable—”

“Woah, hey, calm down,” a voice says behind you and warm hands grab your shoulders and a warm presence attempts to meld with your own, but you don’t let it. You feel like you’re being overpowered, undermined, and you know that isn’t happening but you can’t help how much the sinking feeling affects you.

It’s Anakin behind you, and normally you would be resisting the urge to embrace him and squeeze the living daylights out of him. It’s been so long, after all. But right now you just feel cornered.

You shove his arms off of you, unintentionally making a bit of a scene that has other troopers stopping their work and looking at the three of you. 

“I am going to meditate. Alone,” you say, and you almost say ‘please’ but you know you do not need to ask for permission. You are no longer a Padawan, you’re a Knight, and you know what you’re doing, even if everyone makes you feel like you don’t.

You walk away out of the hangar towards the elevator. You can hear Anakin behind you talking to Emjee.

“You did the right thing Commander, I’m going to talk to her. Anyway, it’s been a long day for you I’m sure. Rex and Ahsoka and a couple 501st are in the mess if you wanted to see them and grab some food? I can take it from here.”

Your heart lifts a bit at the mention of Ahsoka, but you’re too tired to try and find her. Maybe once you sleep, the sinking feeling won’t be there once you wake up. That was normally how it worked. Anakin was never here for these moments, though. You had no doubt he was going to follow you to your quarters. You didn’t have the patience to wait for him, but you also didn’t have the energy to shut him out.

You’re laying on your bed in your quarters staring at the wall beside you. Sleep eludes you, and it is probably because you can sense Anakin’s presence on the ship. Knowing he is so close but refusing to ignite your bond is honestly a bit petty on your part, but at the moment you don’t really care about being sensible. Your whole relationship wasn’t exactly sensible, anyway.

Your back is to the door so you don’t see Anakin when he enters, but you hear him and hear the door close behind him. 

“Would you please look at me please?” he says softly, sitting down on the ground beside your bed. 

It makes your heart clench. “You said ‘please’ twice.”

“Because I’m begging to see your beautiful eyes.”

You laugh half-heartedly. “Sure.”

“Please?” he asks again, and the request is so genuine, you can feel its purity and purpose in the Force.

You turn over to meet his pale blue eyes. His hair has grown just a bit longer since the last time you saw him, and you love it. He also must have had a campaign on a rather sunny planet recently because there is an added color to his face that makes him look, well, good and healthy. You feel like a pale blob with dead-ends for hair and a weak, small body.

His eyes widen with genuine love and awe, and he scoots a bit closer.

“There you are,” he says. And that’s where you lose it.

Your face scrunches up as you try to hold back tears but you fail in about two seconds. Anakin hesitates to touch you, waiting for your permission of some kind, and you grant it to him by reaching out your arms for him almost like a baby. It’s humiliating, but it’s just you and Anakin, and he knows you. 

He rises from his seated position and crawls into your bed while wrapping his arms around you securely. You weep and cry like a youngling into his chest, and he strokes your head as you shudder with each sob that escapes you. He kisses your forehead every now and again before allowing you to rest your face in the crook of his neck, pressing the bridge of your nose into his pulse-point. 

“What happened, my love?” he mumbles against the crown of your head.

“Men, just, underestimating me. It’s like they know I’ve been injured, that I’m weak, unsuccessful—I just, I can’t take it. I… I can’t believe there are people out there who would say those things. But they’re right; I suck, I’m terrible at everything—”

“You are so brave, so strong, the strongest person I know. You’ve been injured in battle, and worked your way back to being on the front lines. You connect to the Force in a way that I wish I could, and I’m part of it! These are just objective facts. I know you, and you are so intelligent, courageous, kind, and just so… so wise. I would be lost without you, and I love you.”

His words bring you comfort, that sinking feeling finally dissipating ever so slowly. “But it shouldn’t bother me this much. I am a Jedi. I have to be better than this.”

“It is something you should never have to experience, and if I had my way, those sleemos would be—”

“Anakin…” you whisper, shifting your head up so you can meet his eyes once again.

He sighs. “You are dealing with this better than I ever could. You know how I would react… you’re so much better than me. I just wish I was worthy of you.”

“You’re my favorite person,” you say, gazing into his beautiful ocean-eyes. You pause for a moment, content to drink your fill of his gaze. Once you are content, you nuzzle into his chest once again. “You’re worthy of so much more than me.”

“No,” he says before pressing another kiss to your head. “I could never be worthy of you, my love. I don’t think anyone ever will, because you are an angel.”

You hum, wrapping your arms around him so you can rub circles into his back. “There you go with your poetic metaphors.”

You can sense his smile in the Force so clearly it’s as if you could see it. “That one isn’t a metaphor.”

“Mhm,” you mumble, smiling to yourself. One of your hands wanders upwards and now you play with his hair and it is so soft between your fingers that you could honestly do this for hours.

He kisses your head once more. “You’re gonna put me to sleep,” he warns, and it makes you giggle a little bit.

“Sleep, then. Force knows you need it.”

“Only if you do,” he says indignantly, but you can hear the sleep in his tone. 

“Not to worry. I’m already halfway there,” you say, nuzzling into the warmth of his body again as he pulls you impossibly closer. You almost feel like crying again because of how safe he makes you feel, but you don’t want to worry him. “I love you, Anakin,” you say aloud, but you mostly send the message through your bond in a wave of soft blue and warm yellows.

You think for a minute that he’s asleep already, but you can tell he’s not when he sends you back just as much love and admiration, if not more, through your bond. 

A tear that isn’t yours drips onto your face as he says, “I love you so much.”

With your Force presences entwined, you both fall into a blissful sleep and take a much needed rest. Just having Anakin with you like this helps whenever you start to feel that worthless slimy feeling, every single time. It’s like clockwork, and you wouldn’t change it for the world. You love him so much, and you can hear the Force sing in sweet harmony each time you are together. Your sleep is dreamless, but it is full of warmth and a sense of softness. It feels like home.

…

When Ahsoka comes looking for you both because she wants someone to spar with, she checks your quarters first. That’s where Emjee said you both would be, anyway. Not to mention she could sense the bliss and serenity in the Force because of you two from probably a system away.

She opens the door and sees a sight that warms her heart. Both you and Anakin are entwined, both in an embrace and in the Force. He holds you protectively against his chest and your hand rests in his hair. You’re both asleep, and Force knows that as Generals you need it.

Ahsoka knows the rules about attachment. She’s always known her Master struggled with them whenever it came to you. But it was hard to see any reason to keep you apart when the Force sang whenever the two of you were together.

Not to mention, Ahsoka found your “secret” relationship unbearably cute. Anakin always had a front of strength and coldness when leading troops into battle or dealing with enemies, even when talking with other Jedi. But with you, he was himself. Your bond was something she wanted to have for herself one day, and looking at the two of you right now, a thought occurred to the young Togruta. 

Your bond needed to stay strong, you needed to stay together, and Ahsoka vowed to herself she would do everything she could to make sure you both remained entwined in the Force like this for as long as possible. She wanted to see both her Master and you happy.

She turned on her heel and closed the door as quietly as the durasteel would allow. Smiling to herself, she tiptoed down the hallway, making her own grand plans about how to uphold her vow. 

Maybe Master Kenobi could help her…

[just-dreaming-marvel]

The Bond Between Us ~ 80

THE BOND BETWEEN US MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,675ish

Summary: You try your best to keep Ben in the light.

Notes: Honestly, I cried while writing this. So tread carefully.

Ben often questioned you about secrets in the family, saying that you, his parents, and his uncle Luke were keeping something from him. Out of respect for Leia and Han, you couldn’t admit to Ben that he was right. That something was being kept from him. It had been decided early on in Ben’s life that he would be kept unaware of his Sith heritage. There were very few who knew the truth about Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader and they all vowed to keep it a secret until Leia and Han felt like Ben was ready.

As Ben grew, you could feel that there was an internal struggle inside of him. You had tried to coax him to talk about it, but he never would. Always brushing you off.

Despite Leia and Han’s wanting to have Ben live a normal life, Ben’s power required guidance. It was strong and raw, easily controlled by his emotions.

Ben was ten when he got in a fight with his parents and his power broke multiple fragile objects in the house. The two parents didn’t know how to handle this, as they never dealt with a Force welder like this. That’s why you were included in the conversation. Han and Leia felt like they were equipped to make a decision on Ben’s future themselves.

You sighed. “I sense much of Anakin in him,” you admitted. “It’s both a blessing and a curse, depending on how we go about this.”

“There have been talks in the Senate of a mysterious dark Force wielder named Snoke,” Leia explained. “I fear that he might try to influence Ben if he isn’t trained.”

“Do you believe he needs to be trained?” Han asked you.

You bit your lip nervously as you thought through an answer. “I’m worried that his training didn’t start sooner… There’s a reason why Jedi were trained young so that they could grow to use their emotions and power, not allowing one to control the other.”

“You and Anakin began training at nine,” Leia said. “Ben is ten. Are you saying that’s too late?”

“For me and Anakin, I… I don’t know if we should have been trained the way we were. But I can’t say the same for Ben. Things are different now and I don’t foresee Ben’s powers fading… Without some training, I fear his power will grow beyond his own control. No matter what though, I cannot promise that he will keep himself in the light. That is a choice only he can make.”

Leia and Han shared a look, having a conversation with their eyes.

“That’s it then,” Han said, looking back at you. “Ben will join Luke’s initiative to restore the Jedi Order.”

~~~

“Are you all ready?” You asked Ben as you stood in the doorway of his room.

“I guess,” Ben mumbled. There was a small bag packed, only filled with clothes due to the Jedi Code.

“It’s okay to be nervous and sad that you’re leaving… though Luke and the Code will tell you that attachments are dangerous, they are a natural part of life. I would still be careful.”

“Is it sad that I will miss you the most, Aunt Y/N?”

“Oh, Ben.” You walked over and made him look at you. “I will miss you so much. As I know your mother and father will.”

He scoffed. “No, they won’t… they’re always too busy saving the Galaxy. They won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Ben Solo, you stop that. Your parents love you and have only ever wanted what’s best for you. They will miss your presence around here. I know I will.”

“Why can’t you come with me? Aren’t you a Jedi? Can’t you just train me?”

You sighed. Oh, how you wished you could fully explain why you couldn’t train him. How the past and your training still hurt you and how he needed what Luke could provide. There was also something in the Force telling you that you were not meant to train him.

“I wish I could, Ben,” you told him. “I really do. But your uncle Luke is a great teacher and you will learn so much from him.”

“But I would learn so much from you,” Ben argued.

“Not what you need to learn… I’m sorry that I can’t go through this with you. But know that I will be cheering you on every step of the way.” Your answer still wasn’t easing Ben. “I have something for you to take.”

“But mom said that I can’t take anything.”

“This will be our little secret.” 

You reached around your neck and unsnapped the chain that Ben had broken years ago. You pulled the chain off of you, revealing to Ben the ring that hung from it. Looking at it, you almost began tearing up.

Go ahead, little star, Obi-Wan’s voice filled your head, gasping you to gasp lightly. It’s alright.

“This chain and ring belonged to my husband, Obi-Wan Kenobi,” you began explaining. “He was a marvelous Jedi. He saved your mother more than once… he saved me and your grandfather. He is who you are named after.” You inhaled deeply, trying not to get too emotional. “This chain and ring were made out of one of Obi-Wan’s lightsabers. I have a matching one.” You wiggled the finger that your ring sat on. “I’m giving this to you as a reminder of where you come from, of who loves you. Obi-Wan and I wore our rings on the chains under our robes in secret.” You reached around Ben’s neck and clasped the chain. “No one will have to know.”

Ben’s hand came up to hold the ring, studying it. “Are—Are you sure, Aunt Y/N?” He wondered. “I know how much this means to you.”

“Which then should prove how much you mean to me… besides, I have a feeling Obi-Wan would want you to have it.”

Ben quickly hugged you tightly. “Thank you.”

You hugged him back. “I love you, Ben… always remember that.”

~~~

Luke was committed to re-establishing the Order’s teachings (despite your continued protests), which included teaching Ben that detachment and distance were necessary to gain the pure focus that every Jedi aspired to. Though being taught that, Ben often snuck messages to his aunt about his adventures with Luke and discovering old Jedi lore and artifacts.

As Luke’s new academy grew, he kept reaching out to you to try and get you to help him with training. You always said no, saying that you did not agree with all the Jedi Order taught. Finally, one day, Luke came to you personally. He showed up at your door with a beard and pleading eyes.

“Please, aunt Y/N,” he pled. “You’re the longest-living member of the Order I can find. I need your help.”

“Why?” You asked. “You seem to be doing so well.”

Luke sighed. “There is something up with Ben. I do not want to worry Han or Leia much about it. I know that the two of you have a special bond, I’ve seen him sneak messages off to you and the chain around his neck. He will not talk to me about what’s wrong and I fear I don’t know enough to truly help him. Please, Y/N, you may be his only hope.”

You could tell that Luke was seriously concerned about his nephew. You had been feeling something off with Ben in the Force more and more lately, but you couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.

“I will come to Ossus,” you told Luke, who looked relieved. “But I will teach what I want.”

Luke nodded. “That’s fine with me.”

~~~

“Aunt Y/N!” Ben exclaimed. The now twenty-year-old rushed over to you as you exited your ship.

You smiled. “Ben.” 

Your great-nephew eagerly wrapped you in a hug. You laughed as he lifted you up. It had been a long ten years since you had physically seen him in person. And now that you were just thinking of it, why were you always separated from those you love for ten years?

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Ben told you as he set you down.

You placed your hands on his cheeks. “You’ve grown up,” you said.

“And you’ve grown old.”

“Hey! I’m only sixty-five. Master Yoda lived until he was 900 years old.”

“My apologies, aunt Y/N. You’re just beginning your life.”

“That’s right.” The two of you started toward where the huts were located. “Now, how’s my favorite nephew doing?”

“I thought Master Luke—“

“Shh! Don’t argue with me. I'm your elder, remember?”

“Yes,” he chuckled. “Sorry. I’m doing… well. Better now that you’ll be teaching.”

“Didn’t Luke tell you? I’m only teaching the younglings.”

“Oh.”

“But I can still make time for you.” Ben only nodded as you both kept walking. “Ben, is everything alright? I sense that something is troubling you.”

Ben sighed and you couldn’t tell that he was having an internal struggle. You stopped walking and got in front of him.

“Ben,” your voice was serious, yet gentle. “You can talk to me.”

He shook his head, but not necessarily at you. More like he was trying to shut out a voice inside your head. “I’m fine.” He forced a smile on his face. “I’m good.”

You gave him a look, trying to show that you didn’t believe him. “Just… don’t shut me out, okay? I’m here if you need anything.”

~~~

Now that you were near Ben, you could sense more of what Luke was sensing. And, honestly, you believed it to be more of a problem than Luke could even sense. You were sensing the struggle between the light and dark that you had once sensed in Anakin and chose to ignore. There was also a familiar sense of Palpatine surrounding the darkness in Ben, something you had also sensed with Anakin and didn’t speak up soon enough. You weren’t going to make those mistakes again.

You found Luke meditating in his hut. He could sense your urgency to speak to him but didn’t bother moving from his meditative position.

“Luke,” you called, coming fully into his hut. 

“I know you’re here to talk about Ben,” he responded. “What have you discovered?”

“I fear he’s much more like Anakin than we feared… there is a familiar darkness in him, trying to coax him away from the light. It’s the same darkness that took your father.”

“Are you sure?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

“We must speak to him then.”

“We can’t speak to him together. He will see that as an attack like we don’t trust him.”

“Then what do you propose we do?”

“Just… I know that he has begun helping train the younglings, and I think that he should do that still, but perhaps I teach him.”

“What would you teach him?”

“I have enough life experience with the Force and, even at my age, I could still easily defeat you in a duel. He has things he can learn from him. We already have a relationship where he trusts me. Give me some time—“

“Do we have time?”

You sighed. “I don’t know, Luke, I really don’t. Just trust me on this.”

“Alright. Let me know if you need any help from me.”

~~~

Ben was actually excited to begin taking lessons from you. You had a different view of the Force than Luke did, so he was eager to learn what you knew.

As you spent more one-on-one time together meditating, dueling, and talking, you could feel that darkness that was troubling him slowly begin to diminish. It gave you hope that you wouldn’t lose Ben to the dark side like you had Anakin.

That hope was crushed though all too soon…

Trying to make Leia look bad to the Galactic Senate, a Senator she thought was an ally found the truth about the Skywalker lineage and shared it with the Galactic Senate. The information shared included:

you and Anakin being twins

How you and Anakin were separated and you were given a different surname

Anakin and Padme’s relationship

Anakin’s fall to the dark side and becoming Darth Vader

The death of Padme and the birth of the twins

How Leia wasn’t actually an Organa, but a Skywalker

Leia had sent you a tearful message about it all after she had sensed Ben’s struggle with it all. She pled with you to talk to him as he was ignoring her. Before you could even go looking for Ben, he appeared in the doorway of your hut.

“Is it true?” Ben’s voice was rough and dark, his black hair shadowing his face.

“Ben, please, listening to me—“

“Is. It. True?”

“All of it’s true,” tears pricked your eyes. 

“My grandfather was Darth Vader? Why wasn’t I told this?”

“Your parents felt like it needed to wait until you were older.”

“Older? I’m twenty-three. How much longer were you going to wait?”

“It wasn’t my information to tell.”

“But it was! Anakin was your brother! I am your nephew! I had every right to know!”

“Your parents asked me not to, and I’ve done my best to respect that decision.”

Ben scoffed. “I’ve always struggled with trusting my parents, but I’ve never struggled with trusting you… until now.”

“We were just trying to do what we thought was bet, Ben… you have to believe that.”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

Ben left your hut and you immediately sensed the darkness growing back within him. You couldn’t help but cry, not knowing how to fix this.

~~~

Two days later, you woke up in the middle of the night to the smell of smoke. Your eyes snapped open as you quickly sat up. You used the Force to pull your sabers to you as you left your hut. You gasped as you saw that the main building of the academy was on fire. There were dark storm clouds swirling in the air above the whole area, with lightning striking down and setting fire to more buildings. There was a figure standing outside of the burning building. 

You rushed over to see that it was Ben. His lightsaber was in his hand, ignited. He was breathing heavily, with sweat and specks of blood littering his face. His eyes were glued onto the fire… and a new shade of gold.

“Ben?” You breathed out. “What happened?”

You could sense the darkness in him, consuming him. You knew that he had done this.

“You should have told me,” he rasped darkly.

“Ben—“ You tried to reach for him but he spun and aimed his saber at you.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!”

“I know… I’m sorry… but we can’t change that now.”

“Just as you can’t change what I’m meant to do.”

“Ben, please. Don’t do this. Don’t go down this path. Please.” You were crying now, begging him to come back to you. It was Anakin all over again, and you were failing to stop the darkness.

“This is my destiny, to finish what Vader started.”

“You don’t know what you’re—“

“SHUT UP!” He stepped forward and hovered his blue lightsaber too close to your neck. “You can’t stop me… but I’ll give you an opportunity to join me.”

Your heart felt like it had stopped. Anakin had asked you to join him, and you never did. You were repeating some of the worst memories of your life.

You shook your head. “I can’t, Ben… you know I can’t… please don’t do this.” He stood resolute in his decision. “Ben…”

His free hand went to his neck and tore off the chain you had given him. He threw it at your feet, his eyes never meeting yours. Ben didn’t say another word as he turned around and walked off into the dark and storming night. You fell to your knees, allowing all of your emotions to finally hit you.

You had failed Ben… You had failed him.

The darkness had won and taken away one of your family members, yet again.

next chapter >

TAGLIST IS CLOSED - Taglist Information

[starmanskywalker]

i have this wip that's almost getting stale in my google docs but

its already pretty long and it would be unfair to let it rot in obscurity

its also fun and prob the best thing i've written so far

so here's a lil snippet for u to decide if it's indeed worth the effort or not 😶‍🌫️and to show you guys im not dead despite covid trying hard to off me !!

it shares its title with an abba song im not disclosing yet for ✨mysterious purposes✨ and yeah its an anakin x reader fic bc i love this cocky loser way too much.

In order to distance yourself from his touch but also make sure you weren’t being heard, you peek out of the alcove. No burly men in sight. You take a deep breath before returning to your routine.

Anakin dodges the question and your unnecessary (?) bitterness. “What do you mean we can’t make it discreet?”

You huff in annoyance at his lack of preparation. “We can, but I told you plenty of times that Jango's room is full of his own bugs from the floor to the roof. We’ll face an entire army if we’re not cautious enough, and we’ll have to entertain him in order to get what we need.” 

“Do we even have the backup for this?”

“Of course we do! Plenty! Do you think I’m an idiot? And do you even remember what we’re supposed to do to get him to do what we want?”

It’s true what they say about breakups: you tend to only remember the nicer things in your relationship whenever the yearning hits. Well, you were just reminded of one thing that was deeply annoying about Anakin and working with him: he was too sure of himself to stick or pay attention to plans. His silence is the answer you need. “Fuck, Anakin.” Your face wrinkles in irritation. “The moment we go there and you make your bid for me, he’ll probably ask me to give you a trial. We’ll then give him something to look at - he’s a perv. He’ll love that.” 

You sit on his lap and unabashedly grind against him to the rhythm of the song - knowing he’s unable to do anything about it, that’s the best way you can find to get your revenge on his recklessness all while teasing what’ll come further in the night. And it’s surprisingly on character too. 

The breath that rushes from Lars is a sharp one; you can see how his pupils dilate, hear the pattern shift in his breathing. He palms your hips in order to keep the movement steady. “Just like that.” You moan, already disarmingly wet by the indirect and clothed friction of his already rock-hard cock against your pulsating clit. “He’ll turn all systems off because he’ll want the sights and… and sounds all to himself,” you explain, both of your bodies quickly overtaken by the desire you two still have for each other. “And he’ll excuse his men from the room.”

“How do you know that?” He groans and you feel his grip on your hips tighten.

“I just do,” you limit yourself to answer. “Unlike some, I do my research.”

And just before you get to the point of no return, one of Jango’s henchmen arrive to pull off the brakes in your interaction, making you briskly get off Anakin’s lap. Skywalker tries to hide his crystal clear excitement at having you on top of him after so long. “Sir, sorry to interrupt, but if you want to play, you’ll have to pay.”

“‘f course,” he answers, trying to recompose himself. “I do want her for a night, Rex. Can we arrange that?”

“Always, sir.”

[sansaorgana]

— I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND

PAIRING — Obi–Wan Kenobi x fem!Jedi!Reader

SUMMARY — You’ve always loved him and he’s always loved you but it was forbidden. However, in the new reality without the Jedi Order, you might get a chance at love.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — I'm a sucker for older Obi–Wan, what can I say...? 🥰 I think it’s also my first fic where the Reader is actually a good Jedi and not a dark side leaning character lol

WARNINGS — every trigger included in canon that is related to the Order 66

WORD COUNT — 4,260

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND

“No,” he whispered and you froze for a second. You needed time to process his answer because his voice was weak and his eyes were pleading you to keep going but his words were contradicting all of that. You batted your eyelashes and moved back. “We can’t,” he added and his voice broke.

“It doesn’t make sense,” you mumbled and looked away, feeling the tears forming in your eyes at the loss of the almost kiss. “They can forbid relationships but they will never forbid the feelings. I can’t stop this, I have tried,” you confessed. “I care about you, I always will care about you. And not being able to be with you the way I want to be will only make it worse. I don’t see how it’s going to help me to deny myself the privilege of having you.”

“You will always have me,” Obi–Wan extended his hands like he wanted to hold yours but you moved away. That would be too much to let him squeeze your fingers while knowing perfectly well that you two would never be anything more than two friendly Masters of the Jedi Order. “You will always have me as your friend.”

“I don’t want to be your friend,” you dared to look at him again and he opened his mouth a little like he wasn’t prepared for your sharp tongue. “Just tell me one thing.”

“Yes?”

“If we weren’t Jedi, would it change anything?” you took a deep breath in, waiting for the answer but he took his time before giving it away.

“It would change everything,” Obi–Wan nodded.

“Thank you,” you turned around to walk away. “See you later at the Council meeting.”

 You weren’t much older than Anakin Skywalker and you certainly weren’t as strong with the force as him. You were a skilled Jedi but only a few could match with Obi–Wan’s former padawan. However, you were granted a title of the Master and Anakin Skywalker wasn’t.

“I just don’t understand why,” he whined for the hundredth time this day. You rolled your eyes at that and were very tempted to show off your new rank by disciplining him but you knew it would be a bad idea to tease Anakin this way.

“Maybe that’s why,” you only said. “You want it too badly and that’s your pride speaking through you.”

“More like ambition, I’d say,” he corrected you while playing nervously with his mechno-arm.

“The same thing,” you smiled kindly at him. “You have to be patient, Anakin.”

“You sound just like him.”

A bolt of electricity went down your spine. You tried to avoid Obi–Wan so much these days that you felt odd even when he was only mentioned in a conversation. Thankfully, not many people noticed your sudden isolation from each other because they were too busy with the Separatists.

“Maybe we just both sound like Jedi Masters,” you winked at Anakin and he blushed slightly.

“Oh, shut up,” he leaned on the wall.

“Not a proper way to address a Master,” you continued because he reacted to the first joke better than you’d expect.

However, you two were interrupted by your young padawan, Drina.

She was eight years old, just a beginner – so cheerful and full of life. A purple skinned Twi’lek girl with big yellow eyes and dotted pattern on her lekku.

“Master! Master!” Drina ran up to you, barely catching a breath. “Master Kenobi said that yellow lightsabers are for the Jedi Sentinels! Does it mean I’ll be one, too?” she tugged on your tunic.

“Drina,” you laughed and caressed her head, “you can’t choose your path based on the lightsaber colour you wish to have in the future,” you explained, noticing Obi–Wan approaching you from the corner of your eye. You swallowed thickly because it made you nervous. He was smiling at Drina, though, and you couldn’t stop thinking how adorable it was.

“But only a yellow one suits my eyes!” she whined. You and Anakin laughed at that.

“Jedi Sentinels are the balanced ones. As skilled in combat as acquainted with the ancient knowledge of the Order,” you explained.

“That sounds like double the work and effort,” Drina sighed and pouted. “Nevermind, I’m going to do that.”

“And I’m going to help you,” you held her hand and looked down when Obi–Wan stood next to Anakin. “I think it’s time for you to train now,” you quickly made an excuse and left as fast as possible, dragging your padawan behind you.

“What will happen now?” Drina’s big yellow eyes filled with tears as she looked up at you. Your heart squeezed in your chest. You were everything she had and your responsibility was to protect her. “Are you going to die?” her lower lip trembled.

You looked down at your leg. It hurt badly, the blood was everywhere and you wouldn’t even try to stand up in such a state.

“I hope not,” you answered with honesty.

“Can’t you heal yourself, Master?” she asked.

“I don’t think I have enough strength,” you confessed weakly and finally let go of your lightsaber’s handle. It hit the ground and Drina widened her eyes at the sight. “I’m sorry, little one,” you smiled sadly at her and tried to extend your hand to caress her face but you found your arm too heavy to move it up.

“Master, no! What will I do now?” she sobbed and moved closer to you.

You were up in the mountains of Tython where you took her for an educational trip – a nice break from the ongoing war. However, the moment you landed on the planet’s surface, you could feel that something was wrong. There was a disturbance in the Force. It was evening already, you just went to sleep instead of worrying about it (you blamed it on the ancient spirits of the planet) and early in the morning you took your padawan to the mountains.

The lack of any contact with the outside world didn’t worry you more than usual because on planets like this, it was quite normal to have problems with connection. And then you met a squadron of the clones that wasn’t supposed to be there. They were clearly waiting for you and they were hostile.

Now they were lying dead all around you but you felt like you would soon join them. And what would happen to poor Drina? She was too young to fly back home on her own.

If there was still any home to fly to…

“Master, I will try to heal you,” she offered her help.

“No, Drina, that’s too much for you,” you tried to stop her but you were growing weaker and weaker. She put her small purple hands on your leg and closed her eyes, focusing hard on the task like her life depended on it. Well, to be fair – it did. She wouldn’t survive without you.

To your surprise, you soon found your strength filling your limbs back again. Little Drina was way more talented with the Force than anyone would expect. You smiled to yourself as your legs moved a little which was a good sign.

You asked her to stop but she kept going until she pushed herself to the limit and lost consciousness. You pulled her body on your lap and caressed her lekku gently.

“My brave girl,” you whispered before taking your lightsaber from the ground and standing up. You took Drina’s body in your arms and began to slowly walk back to the ship.

She healed you but not completely and it still was a painful and slow process, however now you were quite sure that you’d manage to at least get back to the ship. Then you’d worry about what to do next.

After a long while of walking in silence, you heard a noise. Someone was around and you didn’t know what had happened but the fact that the clones had been trying to kill you and your padawan meant that you couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

You still had Drina’s body in your arms but you made sure that your hand was near your lightsaber, just in case a quick action would be required.

“(Y/N)?” a familiar voice asked and your eyes widened at the sight of Obi–Wan emerging from behind a big rock. “Drina?” he looked at your padawan with fear in his bright eyes.

“Stay away,” you drawled out and took a step back.

“Is she alright?” he asked, ignoring your hostility. There was so much pain in his voice, so much sadness…

“She’s exhausted. She saved my life, I was hurt in combat,” you answered but still kept taking small steps back. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m so glad you weren’t there… At the Temple,” his hands were shaking as he extended them, trying to reach out for you.

“What happened?” you swallowed thickly, fearing the answer.

“Treason. Not many of us left. It was a purge. Even the… Even the padawans…” he couldn’t finish and you just stood there, petrified. You didn’t know what to say.

“I should have been there. I would have saved them,” you finally opened your mouth.

“Don’t be stupid. No one would be able to save them all. You saved your padawan, that’s what matters.”

“What about Anakin? Have you saved him?” you asked, unsurely.

The fact was, you couldn’t sense Anakin’s presence no longer in the Force. And if he was alive, he’d be by Obi–Wan’s side, right? They were always together.

“It was him.”

Oh.

There were so many questions to ask but it was still too early to find the right words. It was still too early to even believe in what Obi–Wan had said. However, you were glad that he had found you.

“Why are you here?” you asked again.

“I had to make sure you were safe,” he approached you and you allowed him to take Drina from your arms.

“Do you know a place I could go? A place where they don't find me?” you tried to be hopeful for Drina’s sake.

“Maybe. I’ll think of something,” Obi–Wan promised and you followed him down the path leading to your ships.

He would think of something. You didn’t have to worry and overthink. You just had to let it happen. He would take care of it. Of Drina.

Of you.

Drina was still unconscious and you were sitting by her side, caressing her cheeks and making sure her body functions were working properly while the Jedi survivors had a meeting in a room next to you.

The door opened with a whoosh sound and you looked up to nod your head quietly at the people leaving the room. Obi–Wan sat next to you on the edge of Drina’s bed and leaned in to whisper.

“I’m going to Tatooine. We think it will be the best for Anakin’s brother to raise his son but I’ll be watching over him from afar. That’s the least I can do…”

“Don’t blame yourself,” your lower lip trembled. The pain in his voice was making your heart break even more.

“You can come with me,” he added, “but it won’t be an easy life.”

“No one said it would ever be easy again. Never has been anyway,” you shrugged your arms. “But I can’t do it alone. Not while taking care of her,” you pointed at Drina.

“I think we should find her family and give her back to them,” Obi–Wan pointed out. “She will be safer with them than with us.”

“No,” you protested, almost desperately. “You can’t take her away from me. She’ll be the safest with two Jedi Masters around to protect her. I can’t abandon her.”

Obi–Wan only nodded.

You sighed out of relief that he’d take you with him. Suddenly, you wanted to laugh, too. Laugh at your old self being in love with him and then avoiding him on purpose. If only you had known how stupid these problems were in comparison to your current ones. You didn’t even think of love anymore.

Only survival.

Drina woke up on Tatooine. She was extremely hungry and weak but you managed to quickly bring her back to health. You had to explain to her without the gruesome details about the tragedy that had happened because she couldn’t run around and show off her Force tricks anymore. You were hiding.

Obi–Wan’s new name was Ben, yours was (Y/N/N). Drina chose to be just Rina. You lived in a small and shabby house on the outskirts of an awful town full of mobsters. Ben found a job at Tibidon Station – a disgusting place, really.

You and Rina were growing edible mushrooms in your small garden and then you were selling them on the market a few times a week. It was boring and it didn’t bring much credits but at least it was something to do.

Your former padawan had adapted to the new life surprisingly quickly. She was obedient and hard-working, realizing perfectly well the importance of the situation. Only sometimes, when you were lying in bed at night and trying to fall asleep – you had to share a bed because the place was so small – she would mention in a quiet whisper that she hoped to dream of a yellow lightsaber.

“She needs a new pair,” you sighed and played with the credits in your hand.

You didn’t have many and now Rina needed new shoes. She was growing fast. Faster than you’d like her to.

“Have you thought of making her shoes on your own, Mrs. Kenobi?” the woman working at the store asked you.

“Oh, I can’t even sew a button,” you chuckled at that and the woman looked you up and down with disapproval in her eyes.

She couldn’t know that you had better things to do when you were young. Maybe you didn’t know how to sew a button but you knew how to fight with a lightsaber.

To blend in as much as possible, you and Ben pretended to be married and Rina was supposed to be your adopted daughter. People still had their gossips, though. One of them was that you were from a rich family somewhere far away and ran off to marry Ben. That would explain why you were hiding and why you couldn’t even sew a button. But the existence of Rina didn’t quite fit the story.

“Anyway, I’m not going to complain about spending credits on a child,” you handed the woman all the money. “Rina, come here,” you turned around to wave at the girl.

She ran up to you as her lekku bounced happily in the air. She began to try the shoes on until she finally found the perfect pair. You thanked the woman and left the store.

“Thank you, aunt (Y/N/N),” Rina smiled at you.

“You don’t have to thank me. Shoes are a necessity,” you answered.

You went back home and started to prepare dinner because Ben would be back home from work soon. Rina was usually reading books in the meantime but this time she followed you to your small kitchen.

“What is it, Rina?” you asked her while chopping the mushrooms.

“How does it make you feel to be called Mrs. Kenobi?” she asked and you froze for a second.

“It’s been a year now,” you admitted. “I got used to it.”

It was a lie, though. It still felt odd. Back in the day you used to fantasize about being called that. In secret, of course. You had never expected your dreams would come true in such a twisted way.

Recently, when the first wave of grief started to fade away, you found your old feelings creeping back to you. It was making things more difficult and pretending to be Ben’s wife felt more painful. He was a broken man, you couldn’t burden him now with your feelings, too.

Rina wasn’t easy to deceive, though. She had known you too well.

“I just think… If we’re going to spend the rest of our lives hiding here… We might as well become a real family, aunt (Y/N/N),” she shrugged her arms. “Maybe it would make it a bit less sad,” Rina added and left the kitchen to go to her books.

You continued to chop the mushrooms and tried not to dwell too much on it.

Ben always smelled bad after work so he would usually take a quick shower before dinner. However, you were poor and water on Tatooine was valuable. So, even after taking a shower, he would still smell like fish and sweat. You had grown to tolerate it and at this point you couldn’t even feel it anymore.

“Aunt (Y/N/N) bought me new shoes today,” Rina raised one of her purple legs to show off.

“Rina, put your foot down, we are eating,” you scolded her.

Ben only nodded and smiled at the girl and went back to eating. He wasn’t very talkative these days.

You missed Obi–Wan. He was funny and sassy, loving to joke around and tease. He had always made you laugh.

“Can I lay in the garden for a while and watch the sky?” Rina asked when you were taking the empty plates off of the table.

You nodded at her to agree and she ran outside. Poor girl didn’t have many interesting things to do. You wouldn’t let her explore Tatooine on her own for several reasons, she couldn’t train to become a Jedi and she lived on a shithole planet of the galaxy. Reading books and staring at the sky were her favourite activities.

You took the plates to the kitchen and began to wash them when Ben stood next to you.

“Need some help?” he asked.

“No, you go rest after work,” you cracked a smile at him.

He was about to walk away when you dared to clear your throat and he looked at you, confused.

“Actually, I want to talk,” you took a deep breath in.

“What is it?” Ben lowered his voice and watched you carefully.

“Will it always be like this?” your voice broke suddenly. There was no answer from him so you continued. “I know it won’t ever be perfect, we will never be happy again. But… Will it always be so… sad? Will we live like this until the end of our days? I don’t mean to say to move on, it’s not possible but… We have one life, Ben.”

“You know we can’t leave Tatooine. It’s too dangerous and Luke is here,” he reminded you softly.

“I’m not talking about leaving but maybe we could… Maybe we could somehow improve our life here,” you sniffed back your tears.

“How?”

“We aren’t Jedi anymore,” you pointed out, “does it change anything?”

You could feel your face heating up after asking this question. Yes, of course, despite the years, you still remembered.

How could you ever forget about that almost kiss?

After a long and awkward silence, Ben finally spoke up.

“I had no idea you’re still having these thoughts,” he admitted.

“I can’t stop this, I have tried. Just like I told you back then,” you reminded him, “I will always care about you.”

“I can’t love,” he lowered his voice to almost an inaudible whisper. “I broke everything I allowed myself to love.”

“You didn’t break anything. It was not your fault,” you put the dishes away and dried your hands before reaching out for him but he moved away.

“It’s easy to say for you, (Y/N/N). You saved Rina. You did all you could do. I failed. And my failure caused all of this,” he clenched his jaw.

“That must be difficult to be burdened with the weight of the universe,” you dared to touch his arm and he flinched but he didn’t push you away, “let me help you to carry it.”

“Whatever you feel towards me, I feel the same. But I can’t burden you with any of it. I can’t let you get too close. I can’t risk ruining it, too,” Ben held your hand gently and you almost gasped at the gesture.

You had never held his hand like this, however back in the day you were often helping each other in combat. You had been cherishing these moments, you mesmerized how his hands felt.

And they changed.

They had never been soft, of course. But nowadays they were rough like sandpaper from all the hard work at Tibidon Station.

“We are good friends. Let’s not ruin that,” he said.

“I don’t want to be your friend,” you swallowed thickly and refused to let go of his hand. “We have never been friends. We have always been an almost. What’s stopping us now?” you furrowed your brows. “I know what, Ben. You think you have to punish yourself but look around. Isn’t that a punishment enough?”

“It was love that made him do what he did,” Ben looked down, battling with his thoughts.

“If you say so…” you decided to give up the fight. There was no point of pushing him into anything although your heart was breaking. “If you ever change your mind, though… I’ll be around. I’m not going anywhere,” you assured him before leaving the kitchen to tell Rina to go back inside.

A few weeks have passed. Not much has changed between you and Ben but you could feel him observing you from the corner of his eye more often.

On that evening you were sitting surrounded by materials that you had recently possessed and sighing. You finally decided to learn how to make clothes on your own after seeing the prices at the market.

Rina promised to help you but she was only ten years old and reading books was more exciting than watching you fail over and over again. It was frustrating but you knew you couldn’t quit. You needed a new apron, Ben needed a shirt and Rina – a new pair of trousers. Buying them all was impossible at the moment. You were always short on money.

“Stop staring, it’s making me nervous,” you gave Ben a scolding look. He was leaning on the wall and watching you work.

“It’s difficult to believe that the same clumsy hands once were so skilled with the lightsaber,” you heard him say.

You raised your head and looked at him, surprised.

“Have I just witnessed you smirking?” you asked. “Also, what do you mean by once? I am still skilled.”

“No doubt,” there was irony in his voice.

“I’d beat you easily,” you bragged.

“Yes, you would. Because I’d let you,” he sat down next to you and you huffed.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. Remember back then at the Temple? You finished your training with Anakin and I challenged you for a friendly duel? I won so effortlessly,” you reminded him as your eyes sparkled at the memory.

But Ben didn’t say anything, he was just staring at you in silence and you didn’t know why. His face didn’t look as sad as always and his eyes followed your every movement, though.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“Yes, I remember back then at the Temple,” he nodded with a shadow of a smile, “and how you won,” he added and you smiled with a triumph on your lips. “I let you win.”

Your smile faded away instantly.

“Why?” you demanded an answer.

“I was always letting you win. I’m not saying you couldn’t do that without my help but we’d never find out. I just loved to see that sparkle in your eye after your victory way too much,” he confessed and you didn’t know what to say. However, he continued to tell you even more. “And almost every mission you were sent to, I was assigned to something nearby. Because if you were in trouble, I wanted to be around. At the Council Meetings, I was watching you from across the room; your focused profile, your furrowed brows, slightly parted lips, your hair, your hands tapping on the chair…”

“Why are you telling me this?” you put down all the needles and materials to focus more on the conversation between you two.

“I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling is truly mutual. Watching over Luke is important to me but you and Rina are my priority, (Y/N/N),” he leaned in so close that you forgot how to breathe for a moment. “I have never doubted the teachings of the Order until you.”

“Funny,” you chuckled, “for me it was the opposite. Remember? I was such a rebel at the Academy until they made me work with you. You made me a better person. You made me see the sense of it all,” you admitted. “There was just this one rule I couldn’t live with…”

“You were right,” Ben interrupted you and you shut your mouth. “I wasn’t letting you close because I was punishing myself. But by punishing myself, I was also punishing you.”

You cracked a smile at him and he smiled back softly. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your hands were sweaty.

“I think normal people kiss in situations like this,” you whispered.

“We will never be normal,” Ben caressed your cheek with his rough finger and you sighed, “but we can try,” he added before leaning in and joining your lips together.

It took the world to end for him to finally do that.

MASTERLIST

[gatorbites-imagines]

Anakin Skywalker x ftM reader please? I’ve never seen one before. Thank you :)

Anakin Skywalker x ftm reader

Headcanons

I wrote this based on myself, so i hope it fits for everyone else reading ^^

-          When it comes to Anakin, I don’t think things like gender identity or expression matters much to him.

-          This stems from him growing up on Tatooine, or growing up surrounded by many different people and different kinds of slaves where there were many things more important than how you expressed yourself.

-          This is also why I don’t think he has much of a reaction if you were to come out to him. If you were presenting as female when you got together and then came out, or if you had been male presenting and then told him, I think hed just shrug, say it was cool, and then continue talking about whatever your former conversation had been.

-          Anakin most likely doesn’t really have a label he himself uses from it comes to sexuality, as I think he just loves whom he loves and that’s it. You might need to explain to him why its so important to you, and what coming out means in the core.

-          Then hed feel very apologetic for just brushing you off like that, and when you aren’t around, he looks up what he can about the lgbtq culture around the inner rim.

-          If you need it, hed try and find a way to get you a binder, though with the jedi not being paid he might have to scrounge around and play a few games of sabacc or gamble.

-          Anakin most likely goes to Padme for help when he doesn’t understand something or can’t figure it out, as I believe even if they aren’t in love, they could still be close friends.

-          He would try and support you as much as he could when you have days where your dysphoria would become overwhelming, and if there wasn’t anything he could do he would just be there for moral support.

-          I believe in the Star Wars universe, its much easier to get any surgery you need, or any treatment really, so he would go out of his way to try and find a place on Coruscant or ask Padme if there was a place on Alderaan.

-          Anakin calls you handsome and his boyfriend very regularly when you’re alone, and loves to be the little spoon when you cuddle, which could cause gender euphoria for some people.

-          Anakin also won’t tolerate any disrespect towards you, and when you’re out In public he will try to be all jedi about it, but he always makes sure to correct people if they use the wrong pronouns.

-          He’s also more than happy to let you be in control most of the time, on dates, where you go, what you do, as I think he just loves being around you most of the time.

[obikinfest]

Here are the fics and art from Day 1 of Obikinfest!

💫 ‘Alone With You’ by Anonymous, 3k, Explicit

Padawans Anakin and Obi-Wan watch some porn together.

Tags: Anakin is a bad influence, Porn Watching, Mutual Masturbation, No Underage Sex, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Kissing, Padawan AU, First Kiss, POV Third Person, PWP, obikin fest season 1, Prompt Fill

    💫 ‘How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying’ by Anonymous, 24k, Mature

After defeating Vader on a barren, nameless moon, Obi-Wan had let go of the past. But the past hadn’t let go of him.

Tags: Time Travel Fix-It, Humor, Jedi as Found Family (Star Wars), Post-Episode: s01e06 Part VI (Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi TV), Post-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Canon-Typical Violence

    💫 ‘Darkness at the heart of your love’ by Anonymous, 23k, Mature

Obi-Wan starts to hide his braid in the tenth month since the birth of the Empire. He pins it behind the ear every morning, because he can't stand the pitiful looks the newcomers throw his way. It's understandable. They think his Master is dead. They think he mourns, clings to a promise that would never be fulfilled. They think he is just one of the many padawans, orphaned in this devastating massacre. He sometimes wishes it was the truth.

His Master, however, is not dead. His Master is alive and he is the Sith that started it all. But Obi-Wan can't bring himself to denounce him even after holding the cold corpses of his younger brothers and sisters. Anakin Skywalker was once everything to him. And Obi-Wan is ashamed to admit that he still is.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Reverse Master Padawan AU, Order 66 (Star Wars), Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Possessive Anakin Skywalker, Canon-Typical Violence, Age Difference, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan gets more than a hug, Explicit Sexual Content, Suitless Darth Vader, Possessive Darth Vader

    💫 ‘I Was Born To Love You’ by Anonymous, 2k, Teen and Up Audiences

“You could come, if you wanted to,” Anakin said, looking away from the brightness of his angel. “I don’t think my mom would mind if you tagged along.”

“I’d like that very much, but I’m afraid it won’t be possible, Anakin, ” Obi-Wan explained, his smile now wistful.

“It will, because I’m gonna marry you someday,” he stated, tilting his head to the side. He knew he would, just like he knew that when the Twins set the moons rose, and when somebody spilled water on the sand, the next day a tiny cactus would bloom.

5 times Anakin said (or joked) that he'd marry Obi-Wan + the 1 time he actually does

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nothing happens until Anakin is of age, Pining, which then becomes mutual pining, Soulmates, The Force Ships It (Star Wars), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, No Beta In Grammarly We Trust, ObikinFests1

    💫 ‘Succumbing to Temptation’ by Anonymous, 7k, Explicit

Rising from where he lay on the futon, Anakin rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned to the entrance door when it buzzed. Someone was opening the door and there was only one person who knew the code. However, the process took longer than normal, so Anakin knew before even sensing his Master in the Force:

Drunk. His own Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, was drunk. Again. He will be a stumbling Omega, touchy-feely before the eventual crash into unconsciousness.

An almost 17-year-old young Alpha Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, helps his very drunk Omega Master Obi-Wan to bed. However, Anakin doesn't leave for the night even though he should have left to sleep. But he didn't.

Archive warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Tags: Extremely Dubious Consent, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bottom Obi-Wan Kenobi, Top Anakin Skywalker, Rape/Non-con Elements, Somnophilia, Gratuitous Smut, Intersex, Stewjoni Biology (Star Wars), Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Forbidden Love, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Padawan Anakin Skywalker, Underage Sex, Anakin is almost 17, Possessive Sex, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Breeding Kink, Alpha Anakin Skywalker, Omega Obi-Wan Kenobi, Cunnilingus, Angst with a Happy Ending, The Force pronounced them Alpha and Omega so cue the wedding bells

   💫 ‘Plump and Ripe’ by Anonymous, 6k, Explicit

Pregnant Obi-Wan being pampered like he deserves.

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Anakin Skywalker, Omega Obi-Wan Kenobi, Pregnant Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mpreg, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pampering, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Peeing Oneself, Hormones, Knotting

   💫 NSFW Art by @bereweillschmidt​, Explicit

Prompt: Anakin gets off on the secret aspect of his and Obi-Wan's relationship and loves pushing it to the limits (almost getting caught). The next thing on his list? He really, really wants to get fucked on Obi-Wan's chair in the council chambers and he thinks about it every time he sees the way his master sprawls out on it so indecently. Obi-Wan indulges him (he won't admit it but he loves the thrill too).

[phoenixyfriend]

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox

Okay so since nobody’s suggested a fic under these terms, I ended up expanding on this post on discord and things snowballed. We kept to the basics of the entire plot revolving around Rey really hating her grandad and leveraging her blood relation to not be unalived about it.

With contributions by @atagotiak​, @dracothulhu​, @thepallaspalace​, and several others. The title comes from @gelpenss​.

The basic thing I absolutely need is this: Rey gets thrown back to the middle of the clone wars, and the subsequent plot leans in really heavily on her being, genetically-via-clone-dad, the daughter of the guy running the entire galaxy.

Nobody knows what to do with her.

The timing is mid-TCW for the past (because I want Ahsoka there) and vaguely between Episodes 8 and 9 because I... never watched E9 and don’t want to worry about the timeline. The only things that matter is that Luke is dead (he can die as he did in canon) and that Rey knows she’s Palp’s granddaughter (not the way she does in canon).

We'll say Luke found out from Anakin's panicked force-ghost and just went "well, fuck, okay, I should tell her this before she ends up in a situation like mine and finds out mid-battle or something."

Luke, prior to time-travel: Okay, so, now that I'm dead I know some things I didn't before. Like who your parents were. In the interest of full disclosure because I was in a very similar situation and I don't want you learning the way I did, I'm just going to come right out and say that your father was a clone was Sheev Palpatine. Rey: ... Luke: Are you okay? Rey: I don't know who that is.

(She grew up on Jakku, the history education was a little subpar.)

Setting The Scene

Imagine Rey showing up during or immediately before the clone wars. There’s this phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater who tells you that if you ran a paternity test, it would probably pop up the Chancellor. She may or may not bring up cloning. She accuses said Chancellor of being a Sith Lord.

Your other phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater, who may not be a teenager anymore but only barely, is very offended by this because Palpatine’s a Very Nice Old Grandfather Figure, but also he’s a little full of side-eye because if the blood test comes back as proof, then Palpatine had a kid and didn’t even know about them, or lied to Anakin, and that’s! Bad! Family’s important!!!

Palpatine hears about this daughter he apparently? Has? And is very confused because the timing doesn’t match up with ANYTHING he was doing, so the kid isn’t natural, and he says as much. (There is an explanation! It’s not a correct explanation, but he does come up with one.)

Finn and Poe and BB-8 all get dragged along because why not have the gang there? Nobody that’s already born, because [handwave] conservation of souls or something, IDK, point is the only person dragged along that’s even remotely close to already existing is Luke’s Force Ghost, who mostly hangs around begging Rey to be less impulsive. Finn is good because he is a nice polite boy, but for actual useful information they need Poe. The unfortunate situation is that the three do not land together. They land at the same time, in completely different corners of the galaxy. This means that nobody is there to curb Rey being her most impulsive self.

Time travel Rey knows two things. Luke’s dad ends up evil. Palpatine has always been evil.

She can solve one of these problems by killing the other, yes?

Rey: Ready to Rumble

See, the initial idea was this: Rey tried to break into the senate to kill Palpatine, got arrested, and then used the "he's biologically my father" card to get out of jail free. (Force Ghost Luke follows her like “please take five seconds to think this through.”)

But.

But.

It would be very, very, very funny if The Force just dumps her in a flash of light in the senate building and she just attacks Gramps on sight. Just a shouted "YOU!" and no-hesitation attempted murder.

Palpatine has no idea what's going on.

Rey took maybe two seconds to get identity confirmation and then started swinging.

[Image Description: An individual in a green metal helmet with an eye slit, holding a pistol. In the upper left, upper right, and lower middle are the phrases “I do not know who I am...” “I don’t know why I’m here” and “All I know is that I must kill.” End description.]

Of course, she gets arrested. There are Master Jedi in the Senate. There are Clone Troopers. Palpatine isn’t the weak old man he pretends to be. Of course she’s stopped.

But she isn’t executed in time for Palpatine to stop her from ruining his entire reputation.

Immediately after Rey fails to kill her Shitty Granddad, Luke's ghost shows up and begs her to not talk about the Sith thing because it will completely undermine everything she's trying to do. Pass off the attempted murder as something else!

Rey, panicking: "that fucker left me on a desert planet for 10 years!" "You owe me 19 years of child support you son of a Hutt!"

The Jedi have to do the investigation, because the girl showed up with a laser sword, and the conversation is, uh... interesting. (“Where did you get that lightsaber?” “I got it from a mysterious old pirate lady I never met before. I don't know, I was being shown around by a smuggler and a Wookie.”)

Interviewer: Why did you try to assassinate the Chancellor? Luke: Say it wasn't assassination. Rey: It wasn't assassination. Int: You weren't trying to kill him? Luke: Assassination has to be politically motivated. Rey: This was, um... not political. Assassination is political, right? Int: You mean this was personally motivated? Rey: Yes. Int: I see. What personal motivation? Luke: Jakku! Rey: He's my grandfather. Int: ... Rey: Possibly father. Nobody was very clear on that. Int: ... Luke: Tell them to run a paternity test. Rey: Oh hey, a blood test would tell us which, right? Int: ............ Rey: I spent ten years as an orphaned scrapdealer on Jakku. He's my father. I'm kind of a little angry. Int: ........... Luke: Good job, kid. You bought yourself some time. Int: I'm going to get a medic to see about that parternity test.

Obviously, it comes back positive. Congratulations, Sheev, you’re the father.

Rey comes with a ready-made built-in excuse for hating Palpatine that nobody can question or fault her for!

Rey, pouring Truth into the Force: I didn't even know I was related to the Chancellor until a few months ago, but it's his fault I grew up the way I did, and he should take some responsibility!

The entire thing is mostly kept hush hush but someone leaks it to the press and Palpatine's ratings tank.

"Chancellor, I think we'll need to waive family visitation until she wants you a little less dead." "I would like to find out why she wants me dead, and indeed, where she came from." "...sir, for your own safety--"

Who would win? A master plan years in the making spanning decades of manipulating and work? or One (1) paternity test

"Okay, so, Rey Palpat--" "Ew, no, I don't want his name." "You--okay. Sure, we can understand that. Is there a name you would prefer to put on the paperwork?" Rey, who would have gone by Skywalker in honor of Luke but can't do that when Anakin is right there and all: "Can I think about it?"

Rey: I don't know what I want my last name to be but I know I don't want his, and most of the people I’d want a name from have famous families like you... Luke's ghost, pointing out the Literal Nobody that she cares about a lot: How about Solo? Rey: ...Solo, then.

(A few months later she runs into Poe again and he offers for Finn and Rey to both take his name because honestly they need SOMETHING but at that point she’s already decided on Smuggler Dad.)

Backtrack a bit. We’ve got a bigger cast.

They all arrive separately. Poe, for one, does better than Rey, who is aiming for a murder, but not quite as well as Finn, who is currently being adopted and hidden like a secret cat by a bunch of Alpha Clones on Kamino. He vibes with the names-or-numbers thing. He doesn’t necessarily tell them where and when he’s from, but he’s very sweet and a great liar and they adopt him wholesale anyway.

The Finn situation is just... "Buir Ti, we need you to hide this man, we've decided he's our little brother but if Nala Se finds out she'll make him leave."

Of course, this leads into Shaak Ti teaching Finn how to Jedi.

Maybe consider Finn needing to almost be tricked into learning Jedi things because he willfully forgets it could apply to him. Finn does not like to think of himself as special, which is super valid, but frustrating for Shaak Ti when it comes to, you know, getting him to acquire knowledge. Finn's training at some point is "here, levitate objects with the Force to entertain the tubies." It’s a lot easier to convince him to practice when it involves the babies.

(Everyone on Kamino looked at Finn and went “oh I love him I’m keeping him and teaching him things.”)

(He’s just very lovable.)

Poe, meanwhile, buys the trust of Anakin Skywalker via R2D2 declaring BB-8 the absolute most baby of droids. R2D2 met BB-8 three hours ago but.

"Hey Obi-Wan this is Poe I met him like five days ago but R2D2 says he checks out because his droid is a baby." "That's nice, Anakin, did you know the Chancellor has a daughter who tried to assassinate him in broad daylight yesterday? Because guess who had to stop the Chancellor from getting assassinated by his daughter in broad daylight yesterday."

A summary so far:

Finn, on Kamino: Hey, um, I don't know where this is, but it's not where I was a few minutes ago. Do you think you could get me a comm? What's your name? Poe, on [dice roll] Denon: Oh, hey, you're General Skywalker? Nice to meet you, I'm so sorry about my droid, she's a little excitable and thought your R2 unit looked like a friend of hers-- Rey, on Coruscant: DIE, GRANDFATHER

Finn: [Peacefully vibing on Kamino, unaware of the chaos and bonding with the clones] Poe: [Trying to explain how he knows someone who tried to kill the chancellor and defend Rey] Rey: [Arrested for trying to kill the chancellor]

Just... just...

Anakin: Some guy ended up lost on base yesterday with his droid, how’s your day going? Obi-Wan: I had to stop someone who claims to be the chancellors daughter from murdering the chancellor after she seemingly blinked into existence in the Senate building. Poe: 😐

(Poe: Oh, so that's where Chaos^2 went.)

Poe: In her defense, she is his... well we don't know if she's his daughter or granddaughter, but she's definitely related to him, and she definitely grew up in a shitty situation that was his fault, so...

(Poe is trying very hard to explain this and not get arrested on the military base.)

As you’ve probably guessed, what's especially funny about all of this for me is the fact that Palpatine is fully aware that this girl shouldn't exist, but can't find a single piece of evidence about where she came from. He didn't start any experiments that could result in a female child, and he didn't have sex in that period of time, so where the hell--

Rey spends so much time in jail... BUT they do eventually assign her a Jedi Master. Possibly before she actually proves her evil grandfather is in fact evil. Most votes went to either Plo Koon or Obi-Wan. Plo, because he’s dad-shaped, and Obi...

"Obi-Wan, you already raised one feral desert child with implausible amounts of power, you handle this." Rey in return is very "Sweet, you vaguely remind me of Master Luke," and nobody knows who the hell she's talking about. Obi-Wan is NOT on board with this plan, she'd really be better off with Plo or like........ Mace.

Reunion Tour

What I need out of this is the eventual Finn and Rey reunion scene that is just excited screaming while someone in the background explains to Shaak Ti that yes this is apparently Palpatine's terrifyingly force-sensitive daughter who hates him.

(Finn senses Rey’s approach and just. Gathers the everyone to wait. He’s just :D REY MY FRIEND REY GUYS MY FRIEND REY IS COMING.)

Anakin shows up with Poe--just a guy who signed on to the military, no big deal--and then Poe and Rey are EXCITED and everyone's just like "Cool, how do you know this literal terrorist child?" And Poe has to scramble and "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh she saved my droid from a scrapheap once and BB-8 is basically my child so I owe her one."

Rey knows that Anakin ends up evil so she’s maybe not actively hostile but definitely very “I’m watching you.” That said, she vibes with him on a lot of things that he maybe doesn’t actively notice.

Rey picks up a snake, snaps off the head for venom avoidance, and starts biting off chunks. Obi-Wan's reaction: [undisguised horror] Anakin and Ahsoka: Ooh, where'd you find that? (Obi-Wan: And now I’m up to three feral children.)

What Does Palpatine Even Do?

OBVIOUSLY at a certain point, Palpatine is just phoning up every ally he has to figure out who broke protocol to synthesize a daughter for him.

So of course, Palpatine blame Plagueis.

She'd have been born five or so years before Naboo, just a few years younger than Anakin. It's such an EASY theory to build a conspiracy around. It is ENTIRELY WRONG, but it’s plausible! And anyone who might have been involved to say otherwise is probably dead!

A random bio-kid shows up you can’t possibly have contributed genes to? Maybe it’s the evil bio spark that did it.

Palpatine tries to placate her with the ‘my genes were stolen for an experiment and I didn’t know’ thing. It doesn’t work because her actual main complaint is he’s evil in her future but he tries.

It'd be a struggle to even get access to her, because of the aforementioned “maybe don’t try to talk to the daughter(?) that hates you” thing, but you know who Palpatine does have access to? The Chosen One.

Rey kind of decides on her favorites early on (she gravitates to Dad Energy and Sad Old Men so Plo and Obi-Wan are on her list, and that means decent time around Anakin and Ahsoka). It's really easy to talk Anakin into helping to some degree because "he'd like to connect to a daughter he never knew" and "a child of her power on a planet like that, you'd know her struggle, my dear boy" and so on. Anakin tries to connect! He tries to play up Sheev’s kind political work and how it can’t have really been his fault! It doesn’t work. Rey does not believe a word of it. Mostly she doesn’t even seem to hear him.

Rey's just like "...oh right, you're the melted mask that Kylo Ren was always ranting about," which means absolutely NOTHING to Anakin, but he mentions it to Palps, who loses his goddamn mind trying to figure out what she's talking about, because it also means absolutely nothing to him.

Here’s the thing: Rey’s already decided that Obi-Wan is cool, because Luke said so, and Plo Koon is dad-shaped, and she also gravitates towards earnest kindness in general, like she made friends with Finn real quick, so Ahsoka? Already getting along great.

She doesn’t dislike Anakin, really, he isn’t evil yet, he’s just... meh. She’s a little suspicious and she likes him less than the others but... Anakin.

Rey, to Anakin: You are my least favorite. Anakin, to Palpatine: YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME???

And he goes from “she’s a lil standoffish” to “she doesn’t like me” to “she hates me” as is normal for Anakin.

It’s just an escalation of this one time Palpatine wants Anakin to not have rifts and trust issues with a person, at least not until later, because he needs information.

Meanwhile, that very moment, Rey is just like "huh, nobody here is listening to me about how make a sixth-hand carburetor work, where's Luke's dad?"

Anakin is venting to Palpatine about how hard it is to talk to Rey, and she's over in the Temple just like "Hey, that guy was useful last time, I should ask him," but also she only ever thinks of him as Luke's Dad.

(At one point, Obi-Wan is having a bit of a break down, and then Anakin starts having a breakdown about that, meanwhile the clones are (badly) trying to hide Finn behind their backs, Rey is watching Ahsoka practice and being like "I want two lightsabers," and Poe is trying to keep R2 from stealing BB-8 and Force Ghost Luke is just face palming in the background.)

(Rey deserved a saber staff, maybe one that can detach and turn into a jar’kai set. Possibly a pike. Mostly I just wish she got more chances to whack things with a big stick.)

[gch1995]

“Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things. I’m good at fixing things. I always was. But I..”

-Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala in chapter 21 of the novelization of Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones (Salvatore, 1749).

While Anakin is technically talking about a broken shifter on the surface, this quote he says to Padme pretty much explains his motivations for why he ends up making the personal life choices he does, for better or worse. He feels like he needs to be powerful enough to fix the galaxy for the better and protect everyone he loves from bad things happening by being their hero and savior because he never had the ability to do so before. Then, when he can’t do that, he hates himself, and lashes out violently at those who caused himself and/or loved ones grief, guilt, and/or pain in the heat of the moment because Sidious taught him that was valid catharsis, and he constantly was being emotionally/individually denied and shamed for seeking healthy opportunities for catharsis, expression, personal freedoms, and support from Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Jedi Council who all had power over him over the past ten years altogether. Afterwards, he hates himself even more for lashing out violently, but he doesn’t feel safe enough to go back because he knows there aren’t many opportunities for him to be safe doing so in these constantly toxic and oppressive environments under abusive, corrupt, and manipulative authority, so eventually he stops trying after going dark out of exhaustion until Luke comes along in ESB and ROTJ.

I’m not saying that Anakin is innocent, or that Obi-Wan, Yoda, the Jedi Council, or even Palpatine forced him to turn on the Jedi in Revenge of the Sith. Padme, the Jedi Order, and the Republic didn’t deserve Order 66, being hurt in ways that contributed to their ultimate demise by Anakin, and/or being killed outright. As deeply compromised as Anakin’s agency and emotional/mental health was with his limited options, grooming for subservience to corrupt, manipulative, and oppressive authority, and slave mentality, he did still have a conscience. While Palpatine did also tell him he could end the war by joining him, Anakin genuinely didn’t feel he had much of a choice after years of conditioning, and his support system was really limited, too he also was motivated to do terrible things that he knew were wrong to achieve personal worthy ends of saving Padme. He did stop trying after going dark. He deserved punishment for his crimes.

However, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but I don’t know how so many people in this fandom can blame it all on Anakin for growing up to eventually become Vader when his entire life was spent under the thumb of abusive, corrupt, emotionally negligent, morally hypocritical, and oppressive authority figures in slavery and two space soldier cults from whom there was limited to nonexistent healthy support and safe escape opportunities. I don’t know how so many fans can pretend like Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the rest of the Jedi Council in the prequels didn’t heavily contribute to turning Anakin into a monster almost as much as Palpatine, even if unintentionally, by emotionally/individually/socially denying, invalidating, shaming, and oppressing him every time he did try to reach out to them for healthy and reasonable support, teaching him that emotional expression and individuality was “dangerous” altogether, instructing him to use the clones as slaves and enable slavery on the outer rims, including on his home planets, whenever they deemed it “necessary” for their “greater good.”

Like, I know Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council got their karma for treating Anakin like garbage, though it was far worse than they deserved. I know Luke found a healthy balance in the OT movies with that whole “no attachment” Jedi rule, if you ignore the bullshit Disney sequels that retcon everything. However, it always did bother me that Obi-Wan and especially Yoda never could admit just how much their old system was a toxic mess in which they fucked up. I’m not just talking about in regards to Anakin Skywalker, though he stands out as their greatest failure because he was an opportunity for them to self reflect on their flaws and improve their system, but pretty much every kid in general. Children never should have been getting trained to be soldiers under the age of 18, and, enforcing that whole “no attachment” rule created more harm than good.

[padawanlost]

So I was on Quora the other day, and someone speculated that insecurity was at the root of Anakin's arrogance and apparent cockiness. I thought this through and it makes so much sense. He felt insecure in his place as a Jedi and had this constant need to prove himself. What's your take?

Personally, I’ve never seen Anakin as arrogant. I think he was *perceived* as arrogant by the people around him but, internally, Anakin was also driven by insecurity (not egotism).

Because he was so insecure in a place where he knew he wasn’t accepted as he was, he overcompensated. It’s a very common behavior: I’ll try harder to prove myself. And because he was so powerful, his attempt to prove himself worthy was viewed as an attempt to show off.

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And they stopped him training the Chosen One. Qui-Gon hadn’t cared what the Jedi Council said. He’d trained him anyway, a Padawan in all but name. Why am I thinking of all this now? Haven’t I put it behind me? Haven’t I had enough bad memories since then to take their place? Haven’t I vindicated Master Qui-Gon? [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

Anakin enjoyed praise from Obi-Wan, but often became sullen when he was reprimanded. Obi-Wan assured him that he himself had been frequently reminded by Qui-Gon to be more mindful of the Force, but somehow even the slightest criticism managed to leave Anakin feeling stung. First they tell me to do my best, then they tell me I’ve gone too far! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Because Anakin had not been trained since infancy at the Temple like nearly all other Padawans, various Jedi Masters accepted the fact that he lacked the discipline of his fellow students. They were less accepting, however, of his arrogant behavior when he demonstrated his abilities. I’m more powerful with the Force than some of my instructors, Anakin thought, and they know it! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Despite Anakin’s desire to distance himself from the slave he had once been, he was unable, or unwilling, to shed the other aspects that had defined him on Tatooine. He still dreamed of glory, still craved adventure, and never lost his appetite for high-speed thrills and the desire to prove himself in competition. THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

What evidence to we truly have that Anakin was arrogance beyond people calling him that? And considering most of his peers and superiors didn’t take much time to get to truly know him, I’d say their option can be considered biased:

Anakin was liked by the other students, but he had no close friends. He was not loved. Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin’s gifts naturally set him apart. But in his heart, he grieved for Anakin’s loneliness. JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE WAY OF THE APPRENTICE]

Just when Anakin thought he’d passed that elusive finishing line that said adult, experienced, seen it all, he realized he was still twenty, Jedi or not, and the wounded boy in him still rose to the surface—provoked into angry violence, scared of abandonment, and still in need of approval. KAREN TRAVISS [STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS NOVELIZATION]

[Obi-Wan] knew, glancing at his Padawan’s eager face, that Anakin meant well from the bottom of his heart. If Obi-Wan saw a shadow on that heart, he knew it would pain his Padawan to know it. In many ways, Anakin was still a boy. A wounded, loving, anxious boy with great gifts he did not fully understand. Yet he was also a young man, close to maturity, who could do great harm. To others, yes. To himself, most of all JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

“I just…” Anakin stopped. He took a ragged breath. “I thought you would be proud of me.” I am proud of you. Obi-Wan wanted to say the words. They were true. He was proud of so much in Anakin. But now was not the time to tell him that. Or was it? JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

Fixing broken machines was like a meditation. Fixing broken machines was an antidote to every pain, every loss, every fear, every defeat. Fixing broken machines kept him from going mad. CLONE WARS GAMBIT: STEALTH

This doesn’t sound like some who thinks that highly of himself.

 “Master…,” he said hesitantly, “I know I’ve… disappointed you in these past few days. I have been arrogant. I have… not been very appreciative of your training, and what’s worse, of your friendship. I offer no excuse, Master. My frustration with the Council… I know that none of it is your fault, and I apologize. For all of it. Your friendship means everything to me.”

Interestingly enough, Obi-wan says it best:

You are very observant, Ferus, but you must accept that I know him better than you,” Obi-Wan said carefully. “Anakin can be arrogant. I know that. But he is also learning and growing. He is respectful of his great power. He does not abuse it. He is younger than you, but he has seen much injustice, many terrible things. I do not think it so wrong that he wants to change things. You must understand that it isn’t ambition that drives him. It is compassion. OBI-WAN KENOBI IN STAR WARS – JEDI QUEST: THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD BY JUDE WATSON

Yes. Anakin can act arrogantly. We all can. It’s part of being human and flawed. but that doesn’t mean that was ALL Anakin was. More often than not, Anakin was motivated by fear, love, kindess and, yes, even hate.

Taking them, she looked up at him and shook her head, even though it still ached. “It’s odd. You’re nothing like I expected.” “Why?” he said, perching on the edge of the nearby chair. “What did you expect?” “I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” That made him smile. “As opposed to what?” She swallowed the pain-tabs, washing them down with a mouthful of water. “Oh. You know. The HoloNet news—it portrays as you as this—this—heroic warrior. Larger than life. Charging into battle, lightsaber flashing. Scourge of the Separatists. That kind of thing.” She shrugged. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Because of Hayden’s Anakin being do disliked and, of course, because of the TCW wonky characterization everyday we are seeing more and more people embracing the idea of arrogant idiot Anakin. even if such characterization is not supported by the movies, the lore and basic common sense.

People use Obi-wan’s words in AOTC against Anakin but the truth is, as shown above, Obi-wan himself later recognizes that Anakin is not arrogant (even if he sometimes act that away). Besides, using AOTC to show Anakin’s arrogance doesn’t make much sense because of Hayden’s acting. Anakin doesn’t act like some arrogant prick for most of the movie. if anything, AOTC is a great of example of Anakin’s submissive and insecure behavior.

At last, let’s not forget that the same people calling Anakin arrogant were also facing the same criticism:

“But he still has much to learn, Master,” Obi-Wan explained. “His skills have made him … well, arrogant.” “Yes, yes,” Yoda agreed. “It’s a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi.” [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

People seem to forget that Anakin was in his early 20s when he ‘died’. Show me a teenager or a young adult who’ve never acted arrogantly and i’ll show you a liar. So why is Anakin the only one getting shit for that?

So, yeah, i agree. Anakin wasn’t motivated by arrogance. He was motivated by fear and insecurity, byproducts of his childhood trauma and years of grooming and emotional neglect.

[obiwanobi]

I'm just so very enamored with the idea of Dooku als Obi-Wans Master at the moment. There are so many possibilities, I'm going crazy. I love your writing style and your ideas, so I would be so very happy to know your thoughts about this.

At first, I was going to say “oh, is this a nice AU where taking Obi-Wan as his padawan makes Dooku stay in the Order and the whole lineage is happier?” but then I thought, ‘wait, no, I’m only here to make a dramatic tragedy out of everything’ and I got really into it and wrote 2k about it 🤷‍♀️

So let’s say that Qui-Gon still takes Obi-Wan as his padawan first, and that’s how he meets his grandmaster, Dooku, who’s still a Jedi at this point in time.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren’t a good match at first, and it’s the same, even a bit worse than that, in this AU: Obi-Wan might be grateful to have been chosen and be eager to learn, but their rocky start as a master and padawan duo and their very different approach to, well, basically everything, make things a bit awkward.

But Dooku? Obi-Wan adores Dooku.

Dooku is the antithesis of Qui-Gon; he is a fascinating orator, has a practical mind, favours a pragmatic approach to problems, and is also one of the best duellists in the Temple. And he’s almost certain that Dooku likes him too. His grandmaster might be intimidating at first (he’s even taller than master Jinn for Force’s sake,) but he also raised Qui-Gon, so the man has seen it all and can’t be surprised by anything anymore. When he comes to visit Qui-Gon, Dooku never forgets to ask Obi-Wan how his training is going, what form he likes the best (Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the opportunity to say that he finds Makashi particularly elegant and almost gets a smile in return) and one day, he even ends up helping him write a geopolitical paper about a planet Dooku has spent almost a year on. It warms Obi-Wan to feel a connection to their lineage when he doesn’t really understand his own master, and watching Dooku and Qui-Gon, two very different personalities, getting along so well, also gives him hope that he will one day have the same type of relationship with his master.

But then, Melida/Daan happens.

Obi-Wan decides to stay, and Qui-Gon leaves the planet with one less padawan. It takes a bit of time before Dooku manages to get Qui-Gon to talk about what happened and where is his favourite grandpadawan, but when he realises that Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan in a warzone, Dooku is outraged, and is on Melida/Daan three days later to formally ask Obi-Wan to reconsider leaving the Order. It takes a bit of time before Obi-Wan truly starts thinking about it, because “Master Jinn will never take me back. I’m very sorry, Master Dooku, but he was the only one who was willing to take me as his padawan. No one else will, especially now.” and Dooku scoffs, because he wouldn’t travel to the outer rim for anyone, and of course he’s planning to personally train him. He saw the potential in him, and would hate to see it go to waste. All of this if Obi-Wan can assure him that he won’t rebel at every opportunity, of course, because he won’t accept the betrayal of his trust. 

They both leave the planet together, as Master and Padawan. 

The next few months are... strenuous. Adapting to Dooku’s teaching methods is harder than Obi-Wan expected. His new master asks for discipline, practicality and complete control of oneself at all time, and doesn’t accept any nonsenses. It’s not something Obi-Wan really knows how to do after months with Qui-Gon “don’t think, just do” Jinn. There is also a new distance between Dooku and Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan knows is his fault, but can’t do much about it; he still hasn’t said more than two words to Qui-Gon since Melida/Daan (apologies that his master- former master accepted with a cordial bow and that was it) and is in no hurry to change that.

Nevertheless, Obi-Wan is happy. Dooku might be a bit snobbish, makes imperious demands and even disagrees with the Council just like his former padawan, but he also explains to Obi-Wan why his decisions and insistence on certain parts of his training are necessary, doesn’t shy away from philosophical questions about the Force or the Order (even if his opinion is sometimes bordering on blasphemy,) and is, after all, one of the most skilled Master in the Temple. He might be a severe figure of authority to everyone else, but his hidden smile at a witty remark from his padawan, or the use of a diplomatic loophole to get his way without having to ignite his lightsaber, always gets him a gentle hand on his shoulder and an almost-satisfied smile. It’s more than enough for him. 

And then, Qui-Gon brings Anakin Skywalker to the Temple.

Obi-Wan tries not to think too much about the rumours that say that he went all the way to the outer rim to get himself a new padawan. A padawan he chose this time. A padawan who’s the Chosen One.

 “Ridiculous,” Master Dooku scorns, his expression so dismissive that the few gossipy padawans (and knights!) around scatter in a second. “I saw the boy, and if this raggedy child is the Chosen One who’s supposed to save us all, we should all start building our own funeral pyre to save us some time.”

“Master, really,” Obi-Wan sighs, half-reprimand, half-amusement. He’s still glad his master shares his distaste with the idea of taking a child too old and too attached. 

And then, Qui-Gon Jinn almost dies on Naboo. 

The other Jedi that went with him doesn’t have the same luck. Dooku doesn’t huff and roll his eyes this time. He does spend a lot of time in the Halls of Healing at his former padawan’s bed. Apparently, Qui-Gon has been badly hurt, and if he should walk again soon, probably with a walking stick, he will never be able to maintain enough stamina to fight with a lightsaber again. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to train the boy, and even the Council and Dooku, for once on the same side, aren’t enough to dissuade him. 

And then, everything goes too fast. 

Obi-Wan is talking about possible hidden Sith in the galaxy at the breakfast table, and suddenly Dooku says “I’m leaving the Order”, and then he’s knighted by a master who tells him he’s glad his last accomplishment as a Jedi is something he’s proud of, and then his master leaves without a real explanation, and then they make a bust of him in the library like he’s dead, and Obi-Wan asks himself if he’s going to feel abandoned all his life. 

And then, Anakin Skywalker bumps into him. 

“You’re Obi-Wan!” he says way too loudly, looking up at him in wonder.

It’s Knight Kenobi to you, a voice that sounds suspiciously like his master echoes in his mind. But no matter how much Obi-Wan admires his master, he could never be as rigid as him.

“Master Qui-Gon said you were his padawan once,” Anakin says, excited, and Obi-Wan has never wanted to run from a conversation that badly before. “And that you were... the padawan of my... grandmaster? I think? So that means we’re sort of like cousins, right?”

“Not really, no. Jedi don’t think about the Order as a traditional family. I don’t mean that we’re not one, young one,” he adds when Anakin’s expression turns to dejection, “we just have a different approach to kinship. In a way, we’re all brothers and sisters.”

And that, of course, is the exact thing he shouldn't have said.

“So you’re my brother then? Wizard! I’ve never had a brother before! Does that mean you will spar with me? I want to learn EVERYTHING about lightsabers, for example, do they have unlimited energy? Can it really go through everything? Because I heard beskar—” 

Obi-Wan isn’t proud to say that he feels the urgent need to get away from him and never come in contact with that child ever again. 

But after their first encounter, Anakin doesn’t leave him any choice. Every time Obi-Wan gets some time off, the padawan is here, scarily good at annoying him until Obi-Wan gives up pretending to ignore him. 

He probably should be sterner with him. After all, he doesn’t own the child anything. But Anakin is always so happy to see him, impressed when Obi-Wan demonstrates the most acrobatic of Ataru’s movements, and eager to learn from him. Sometimes, he imagines Master Dooku’s face confronted with Anakin, and can’t help but laugh out loud.  It helps to forget the void Dooku left in his life for a time.

(There aren’t a lot of holos sent to him from Serenno these days. Dooku must be busy.)

“My master can’t fight,” Anakin says petulantly one day, plopping down on Obi-Wan’s couch like the sulky teenager he is, “He’s restricted to the Temple or boring political missions, and so am I because of him. All he does is tell me to meditate and make me ‘reflect on my feelings’, or whatever that means. How good can a master be if he can’t teach me to protect myself and others?” 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warns, kicking the padawan’s feet away from the caf table, “please tell me you didn’t say these exact insensitive words to your master right before slamming the door and coming here.” 

Of course he did, Obi-Wan thinks when Anakin starts a rant about being held back and how stupid meditation is. That night, Obi-Wan forces him to sincerely apologise to his master after a brief fight ("stop nagging at me, Obi-Wan! You’re not my master!” “Well, apparently, you don’t even respect your own master, so I’m very glad I’m not.”) and is just a bit stunned when he finds Qui-Gon Jinn on his doorstep a few days letter, asking him if he would agree to take Padawan Skywalker on his next off-world mission. 

Obi-Wan really, really wants to say no. He only taught Anakin a few Ataru moves that the lightsaber’s instructor normally doesn’t introduce until a few years later because Anakin wouldn’t accept a no from him, he never signed up to co-parent a defiant padawan! Especially Qui-Gon’s padawan. The entire conversation between them is already awkward enough.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No?” Qui-Gon replies, sipping his tea like they’re discussing the weather. “You’ve done a good job at teaching him some rationality and a few duelling tricks until now. I haven’t been able to wield a lightsaber for a while now, but it’s hard to miss the handprint of my own master all over Anakin’s sudden blend of Ataru and Makashi in his movements.” Obi-Wan is pretty sure his ears and his face are burning by now. “Don’t you think he could benefit from some real experience? Maybe start to put things in perspective? Show him why the diplomatic skills and temperance we preach are so important even for the violent or difficult conflicts we’re asked to solve?” 

And really, what is he supposed to say to that? 

Qui-Gon leaves his quarters before he manages to gather the courage to ask why he chose him of all knights for this task. It really doesn’t make any sense to Obi-Wan.

The very next day, Anakin shows up at the hangar bay ready to see the stars, bag on his shoulder and enough excitement to make the whole ship vibrate under his feet. 

“If you cause problems on purpose, I’ll send you back to your master faster than you can say pod-racing.”

“I promise I won’t, Knight Kenobi,” Anakin replies, all angelic smile and respectful padawan face. It’s the first time Anakin has called him by his title, and somehow it sounds a bit wrong.

Anakin does end up causing problems on purpose. It’s ridiculous but also kind of genius, so Obi-Wan only shakes his head and says “you’re really going to be the death of me.”

And for some years, it works. Qui-Gon stays Anakin’s master, but he does send him to learn from other masters and knights. More and more, though, Anakin asks for Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon rarely refuses.

“You two are the last people I thought would get along,” Mace Windu tells them a few successful missions later, after witnessing them bantering back and forth from their respective beds in the Halls of Healing. “Nonetheless, I’m glad you do. It’s good to see close lineages strengthening their bond to each other.”

Anakin blinks so many time at the compliment that Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate a second before throwing his pillow at his face the second Windu leaves the room.

It’s a shame that Obi-Wan never manages to ask Qui-Gon about why he trusted him with his padawan. 

Because Qui-Gon dies on Geonosis. 

He shouldn’t have been there, Obi-Wan and Anakin keep saying. But they both know that you can’t stop Qui-Gon Jinn to do what he wants. He shouldn’t have gone to Kamino by himself, he shouldn’t have followed the bounty hunter to Geonosis, He shouldn’t have been in this arena, he shouldn’t have been killed before the help has come. He shouldn’t have died right in front of his former master— because of his former master. 

Anakin’s master died that day, but when Obi-Wan saw Master Dooku ordering the attack on the Jedi, he felt like he was losing two masters at the same time. 

Now there is a war coming, and the Council is talking about Master Dooku being a Sith, and he should stop saying Master Dooku, he knows, and people are asking how good can a Jedi be when raised by a traitor, and Yoda is talking to him about knighting Anakin and what he thinks about it like he’s his master now, and Anakin refuses to talk to him, and that probably has to do with the fact that he lost an arm and a father-figure to Obi-Wan’s master, and Obi-Wan would like to sleep for an entire year now, thank you very much. 

[tennessoui]

FeralObi anon here. How do you come up with these so fast?? Are you an infinite number of ideas and worlds in human-shaped form? I love both of those ideas. The first one kills me tho, Obi gets his first kind touch in years from lil Anakin. Also you can have lil Anakin coming home one day with a skulking, snarling nonverbal murder puppy and saying brightly, "He followed me home, can I keep him?" Schmi thinks this is definitely worse than the time he brought a krayt dragon home.

ah! hello! yes this is the first idea of a feral obi-wan who meets anakin when he's still on tatooine. i will also still do the second idea because like. i liked them equally as much rip me

but i told myself these were going to both be very short snippets and instead this one is uh 2k so i'll post the second one tomorrow instead of tonight!

(ficlet where obi-wan is captured by pirates/unspecified forces at a young age and then tortured for a decade before he escapes to tatooine when anakin is like 6. obi-wan, after a decade of torture is....not alright in this fic though he's only here at the end) (2k)

Shmi had known that when she sent her little Anakin away to follow after the stern-faced, warm-eyed Jedi Master, that this would not be the last time she ever saw her boy. She couldn’t explain how she knew, just as she had not been able to explain how she became pregnant, but she knew beyond a doubt that one day, she would see her little boy back in her arms.

She just hadn’t known it would be so soon.

“He died, Master Jinn died,” Anakin mumbles into the front of her dress, unwilling to move his head far back enough from her hug that he could talk clearly. “On Naboo. And the stupid Jedi council refused to train me even after I was so amazing in the air. Mom, I destroyed a blockade! Entirely! And they wouldn’t--they didn’t--” his little face scrunches up and then he’s bawling into his hands.

A slave, a born slave, knows intrinsically the injustice of the galaxy. It is not often they know hope.

“Oh my boy,” she whispers, smoothing a hand over the top of his head. She has questions. She has so many questions about everything he’s just said and what those strangers have put her son through, but the most important thing is a question she cannot wait until he has cried himself out to ask. “Is your chip gone, Ani? Did they remove your transmitter?”

Because she had sent him away from her so that he could be free. And that had been her own twisted version of hope, that her son could know a life she never would again. If the Jedi masters had proven to be just like every other master in the world, she would find herself sobbing into her own hands.

“Yeah,” Anakin sniffles and wipes at his ruddy cheeks, pulling back a few steps. “They removed it and everything. And--”

He pauses and drops his satchel to the ground in front of her. “They gave me credits. To buy you. For my trouble.”

He spits out the last three words like they’re the most disgusting thing in the entire world. As if Shmi’s freedom isn’t laying at their feet, mere centimeters away.

“Republic credits are no good here,” she hears herself say faintly.

“Padme, the handmaiden you met, she talked to the queen about me I guess,” Anakin mumbles, kicking his feet. “And when the queen learned that the Jedi didn’t want me even after all that, Padme says the queen says I’ll always have a place on Naboo. Me and my family. And then she took the Jedi credits and gave me these instead. It should be enough, Mom.”

Shmi sits down on the floor. With shaking hands, she opens the bag and looks inside. Yes. Yes.

There’s more than enough.

There’s enough to buy her freedom and take her boy away from Mos Espa. There’s enough to take her boy away from Tatooine completely.

“I…” she says. “Ani, I…”

“Padme said she’d send a ship for us,” Ani reports as if their lives are not changing right in front of their eyes. “In two days ‘cause I told her it might take a little bit of time to get Ben to come with us. But we can’t leave without him.”

This is said fiercely and with his arms crossed tightly over his little chest.

Shmi stares at him.

“I’ve already left him once!” Anakin says, stomping his foot. “But that was okay, because I knew you would bring him food and water and stuff. But if we’re both gone, no one’s going to be there for him.”

Shmi bites at her lip. There’s a lot of things happening very quickly right now, and she doesn’t know how to process half of them.

Her son has come back, after only being gone for a week and a half.

He has apparently either endeared himself so much to the queen of Naboo that she was willing to give him the money necessary to buy his mother from slavery and also promise him sanctuary on her planet. He says he’s done this by single-handedly ending a blockade, which is something she just cannot even think about right now.

He has told this queen--queen--that he will gladly live on Naboo with his family. Yes. Alright.

His family seems to include his imaginary friend, Ben.

Anakin has been talking about Ben for years now, ever since he was six and a half years old and sent by Watto to retrieve any scraps he could from what looked to be a crashed pod in the Wastelands. She’d let him ramble on about the ghost of a friend, because she’d known it to be something all children go through and experience. She hadn’t thought Anakin a lonely child, not with the friends he made in Mos Espa, but she’d always known that Anakin had a wandering spirit, ill-suited for Tatooine. If he liked to imagine an older man from a strange world hiding in the caves of the Wastes, then she wasn’t going to say anything.

“You have been leaving him food, haven’t you, Mom?” Anakin asks, almost accusatory. “I told him to expect you and everything.”

No. Shmi has not been traveling to the edge of the Wastelands every day during her precious few hours of free time in order to leave food to be picked apart by womp rats and desert critters and not her boy’s imaginary friend.

“Ani,” she says cautiously, quietly, “we cannot...we won’t be able to bring Ben with us when we go.”

Anakin, predictably, does not react well. “Why not!” he yells, backing away from her even further and looking as if she is the enemy. “Padme’s fine with it!”

“Aren’t you a little old for imaginary friends?” Shmi asks desperately, feeling cold suddenly even though the heat of the mid-morning sun has not abated at all.

If anything, her son looks more offended. “He’s not imaginary! Saying...saying that he’s not coming with us...is...is a bunch of poodoo!”

“Anakin!” Shmi gasps.

“Come on,” her boy says forcefully, grabbing at her hand and tugging her towards the door. She gets on her feet reluctantly and has half a mind to pull back just because he needs to learn that this sort of behavior is not okay, war hero or not. “We’re going to buy you from Watto. And then we’re going to go visit Ben!”

---

Buying her freedom takes less time than Shmi Skywalker ever thought it would. It feels distant as well, as if it’s happening to someone else.

It doesn’t help that her Ani is impatient and surly by turn, spilling the coin out onto Watto’s counter and barely waiting for him to finish counting it before he’s looking at the price of renting a four-person speeder parked outside.

“You won’t survive out there on your own,” Watto sneers, even as he’s passing her the kill-switch of her own slave chip. “Days. It’ll be days until the Hutts find out there’s a newly freed slave with no connections out there in the open. Ripe for the pickin’.”

Watto doesn’t have to tell her any of this. She knows. Gods, does she know.

But Anakin seems so sure about possessing the favor of the Queen of Naboo, or at least her handmaiden, which might be close enough to the same thing. She thanks Watto--she thanks him and then doesn’t even know why--and meets Anakin outside.

He’s bouncing around the speeder, little hands clutching his satchel to his chest. “Good!” he says when he sees her, hopping onto the machine and putting the parcel between his feet. “I got Ben something called a fig on Naboo, but I don’t know how long it’ll take for it to go bad. Apparently they’re sweet.”

Shmi goes along with it. Shmi doesn’t know why she goes along with it, but she does. She can see this is important to her boy, and though she’d rather spend the afternoon and early evening saying goodbye to her friends, she will allow Ani to say goodbye to his imaginary friend. Maybe she’ll even talk to it. “Hi, hello, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the imaginary blue milk and delicacies I’ve left out for you this past week and half. Oh no, it was no bother. My son insisted.”

The ride is quick--Anakin has always been a driver to push the limits of any engine he comes across--and before she knows it, he’s dismounting on a piece of desert and rock that look exactly the same as the last four pieces of rocky terrain they’ve past.

“Ben!” Ani calls, satchel clutched firmly in his hands as he makes his way deeper into the crevices of the landscape. “Ben, it’s Ani! I’m really sorry that I left! Ben? Ben! I’m back now! Ani’s back!”

It’s actually...quite pathetic, to watch her boy speak so pleadingly to the cold stone faces of the rocks around them, but if this is what he needs to do to say goodbye to his life on Tatooine, Shmi won’t say a word.

“Ben--” Anakin draws in a breath to call again, but then there’s movement out of the corner of Shmi’s eyes, and something jumps from the rock down to land on her boy.

She screams and darts forward, but the thing on top of her son snarls at her in guttural warning.

“No, Ben,” Ani coos, stroking at the face that yes, is human, now that it’s not in unnaturally fast motion. “That’s my mom, Ben.”

Ben--Ben??--growls anyway, pinning the boy--her boy--beneath him with his legs and arms.

“She’s fine,” Ani murmurs gently, one hand reaching up to stoke over the beginnings of a beard on Obi-Wan’s face “Oh Ben, I’m sorry.”

The man on top of Shmi’s child finally looks away from her and at her boy, which is both better and worse.

“Ani,” Ben drawls out, as if the word--or perhaps forming the word--hurts him.

Anakin is happy. Shmi can tell he’s happy without even being able to see much of him. It’s like the very air vibrates with his joy. “Yes!” her son says. “Ani. Ben.” He taps the man’s chest. “Ben. Ani.”

The man buries his head into Anakin’s hair, hands rubbing up and down his sides and his arms and his face.

Shmi needs to say something, wants to say something about this strange man touching boy like he owns him, but the memory of his growl and the flash of his golden eyes stops her from stepping forward.

“Anakin, get away from him,” she hisses instead of stepping forward and tearing the stranger off of her son. She has the distinct feeling Anakin wouldn’t let Ben go anywhere, not with the way his little hands are holding so tight to the man’s shoulders. The man’s shoulders that are covered with one of her old tunics that Anakin had told her became unsalvageable after its last wash.

“No,” Anakin says, tightening his hold on his...friend. “He says you didn’t give him food the entire time I was gone! He’s hungry.”

Shmi thinks there’s a very good possibility that this Ben is going to eat her, but she knows not to say anything of the sort. Not when it’s two against one.

“He hasn’t said anything!” She cries instead.

Anakin huffs at this and pats at the feral’s head. “Maybe not to you, but he talks to me.”

Shmi stares at him and wonders if there’s something she’s supposed to be doing or saying here. The man won’t allow her to tear him off her child, she knows that automatically. But she can’t--she doesn’t know--

“Anakin,” she tries, desperately.

But Anakin doesn’t even look at her, too busy petting over the man, who has at least allowed him to sit up. “Hey, I’m sorry, I thought she would,” he tells him in an undertone. “I really thought she would, but I’m back now. I’m not going anywhere without you again--”

He extends his hand and Ben presses his cheek against it with enough force that it pushes him back slightly.

“You’re coming to Naboo with us, Ben,” Anakin promises, clutching at the ends of the man’s long hair. “Or I’m not going at all.”

To Shmi, it sounds like a threat.

The way her son’s eyes flash an unfamiliar golden color makes her feel cold as a Tatooine night. She shivers, but no one notices.

[chokemeanakin]

I dont know if you are taking requests but if you are, could you please write something where reader has trouble masturbating, every time she tries she just CANT, so anakin (theyre just friends but they always had lots of sexual tension) helps her out and does it for her so she cums for the first time. THANK YOU!!!

A Dream Come True - Anakin Skywalker x fem Reader (smut)

Masterlist

Read it on ao3

Wc: 5.4k

A low warmth is rising in your belly, pulled from the depths by your wandering fingers. They’re working against your clit, rubbing it side to side, faster and hard, trying so desperately to remain in that warm haze of pleasure you’ve spent so long building up. It feels good, but you need more. 

The many late nights spent with your girlfriends cross your mind, and how you would sit by idly during each one as they discussed their own personal affairs in the bedroom. You were the least experienced, but listened in awe as they told you the latest on what their partners have done to surprise them in bed. How they made them scream and shake, their eyes roll back into their head, and cum all over until they couldn’t take anymore.

You were too embarrassed to admit you’d never felt that way before. You thought you were broken.

Which is why you’re here, fingers glued to your hard nub, rubbing furiously to try and get yourself to feel something. You do feel something, but it’s not earth-shattering, leg-shaking, eye-rolling like your friends had described. Frustration fuels your movements as you attack your clit, holding your breath, forcing the warmth to build and build and build--

Nothing.

Your arm aches with the strain as you halt your movements, chest heaving when you allow yourself to breathe. Self-pity outweighs your disappointment as the subtle warmth dissipates, any pleasure that you had given yourself slipping away. 

Broken, a small voice whispers inside your head. There’s something wrong with you.

What other reasoning could there be to explain why you can’t feel good? 

Maybe, you argue, there needs to be something inside. That was always a big topic of discussion with your friends, how they “loved being filled.” Gathering your wits, you move your finger down, exploring your folds until you find your opening. Squeezing your eyes shut, you push a finger in, wincing at the sudden intrusion. 

It stings more than anything, but you’re desperate so you decide to give it a chance. You’ve tried this before, and it’s never felt like anything more than a finger inside of you-- which is exactly what it is. And now, this situation proves to be the same. You feel around, hoping to find that spot everyone raves about, but your fingers are too short and the angle is weird. You push your finger in and out like how you think you’re supposed to, and it feels like nothing.

Maybe you need two?

You let another finger join the one that’s already inside, struggling to get it in. 

Ow, you wince as your body rejects the intrusion. Your heartbeat picks up, a sudden anxiety joining the whirlwind of exasperation and discontent that has come from this situation. Is it supposed to hurt this much? The remnants of the need to satisfy yourself are still present, so you try again.

Making it back to your apartment had been a relief this evening, as all day you had been battling a relentless urge down below. You’re not too proud to admit that your… situation… had been a direct result of spending the day with Anakin, a good friend of yours who needed help finding a data entry in the corner of the Temple library. The entry supposedly had something to do with a cloaking mechanism for battleships, and when you had asked why he needed it when the Republic already had cloaking mechanisms, he mentioned that he was trying to translate the same technique to his own personal starship. No battlecraft as small as his has that ability, and with a ship as fast as his, it would give him a huge advantage on the battlefield. 

You could listen to him talk about it all day.

You virtually had, as the data entry was just one small piece of paper-- a piece of scrap blueprint scrawled on a fragile, worried edge of some larger text, worn with time. You spent hours searching all over for it. Once you had finally dug it out of a dusty box in the deepest corner of the library, Anakin had lifted you into the air effortlessly, swinging you around as he hugged you and laughed.

You had walked home with a damp spot in your underwear, an undeniable throb that needed to be relieved. 

He had no idea. No idea that his hands shot sparks up your spine as they closed around your waist. That his laugh turned your blood to lava, and his beautiful, smiling face made your heart skip a beat. He had no idea that he is the cause of your desperation, the reason you are torturing yourself by dangling an unknown pleasure before your face, knowing you can’t have it. 

You manage to sink your second finger in a little, but the sting is too much, and you have to pull them both out.

Broken.

The door to your apartment suddenly swings open, and you throw your sheets over your bare legs in a panic. Your eyes find the clock next to your bed-- Shit. You’d lost track of the time. 

The sound of those boots are unmistakable, and you find that praying you’re wrong is pointless when he calls out your name. 

“Y/n--?” Anakin rounds the corner to peer into your room, features lighting up when he finally finds you. Curious eyes roam over your figure, wondering why you’re in bed when it was barely evening. “Are you feeling okay?”

Your cheeks flame with heat, and you can’t find the words to explain yourself out of this situation. Mentally, you’re beating yourself up for losing track of time, especially since you knew Anakin was coming over tonight. While searching for the data log, you mentioned you had always wanted to try his favorite childhood drink-- ruby bliels-- and he promised he’d treat you tonight after you found the blueprint. It was his thank you gift to you, but now you needed to find a way to get him out of your apartment before he realized what was going on.

Your mouth hangs open like a gaping fish, and you know it’s too late. Anakin’s brain is as fast as his superhuman reflexes, and you can see the gears click into place as his eyes flit from your red cheeks, to the messy covers strewn over your legs, to the crumpled panties lying discarded on the floor. Your hand is even still frozen between your legs, your activities becoming clear as he senses the remnants of pleasure and disappointment still hanging around the room. 

“Oh…” is all he says, looking lost for a moment. You expect him to apologize and turn away, run out of the apartment and then never speak to you again. You wouldn’t blame him. Finding a friend in this position can never be a comfortable experience.

Instead a slow smirk crawls onto his face, and he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You need some help with that?”

You should have known. The smug little bastard-- of course he’d find this amusing. Your face grows impossibly redder, and you wish a black hole would just open beneath you already and swallow you up. Anakin finds your humiliation endearing, and laughs good-naturedly. 

“Alright, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll leave you to it,” he slinks out of the doorway, crooking his finger in the air to close the door after him. “I’ll be in the kitchen setting up for the bliels when you’re done--”

“Wait!”

You’re just as shocked as he is at the words that leave your mouth. He freezes in place, the door still open a crack. There’s too many thoughts running through your head right now, but the one that stands out the most has you pulling your hand away from your center, sitting up in bed so you can address him clearly. 

You never thought you’d be able to speak these words to him. For so long, you had wanted him in every way possible. But he’s a Jedi, unable to form attachments, and more than that-- a friend. A very good friend. And breaching the topic that you know you both feel for each other had the potential to ruin it all. 

But the minute he had opened that door, still dressed in that black leather armor, hair perfectly curled and messy, so tall and strong and devilishly handsome leaning against your doorframe-- he was beautiful, and you’d be a fool not to take advantage of his offering. Even if it might have been a joke. 

You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t. 

“I… I do need help.”

There. You said it. And you’re pretty certain the only reason you could force the words past your lips is because his back is still facing you. But then he opens the door again, turns to meet your eyes, and cocks his head.

“Really?”

You’re not sure how to feel about the concern on his face. You guess it’s better than him being disgusted, or awkward, or uncomfortable. And it’s not an outright rejection. That realization gives you the push you need to explain yourself.

“I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Now he looks concerned. Walking a few steps into the room, he stops by the edge of your bed and folds his arms across his chest. He’s studying every inch of you, reaching into the force to try and gauge the nature of your words. “What do you mean?”

He’s standing so close now, you can see the blue of his eyes and the wrinkle between his furrowed brows. It does nothing to calm your sizzling nerves. However, you’re concrete on your desires now. While you would have liked to confess your feelings for him in a more… romantic way, the intensity of your need for him in this very moment overshadows rational thought. Besides, it’s not like this is a declaration of love. That could always come later. For right now, you need his help, and you’re certain that you can trust him not to make fun of you or shame you for trying in if he declines.

“I can’t…” you take a deep breath, staring at your hands in your lap. “I can’t make myself feel good.”

Your voice is so quiet, embarrassed and ashamed, but he catches the yearning under it all. His face smooths, comforted by the fact that you’re not injured or dying in some way. Deep down, something sparks alive in his veins. 

That’s the issue? Well… it’s definitely something he can help you with.

“Hmm.” His face is thoughtful as he scans your position. His hand gestures vaguely down your body. “Do you want to show me what you’re doing?”

Your blood freezes at his request. For some reason, it didn’t cross your mind how asking for his help would require him to see you… naked. 

“If you’re too embarrassed, we can just--”

You cut off his words by throwing the blanket off. There, like ripping off a bandaid. His eyes drink in the exposed skin of your legs, and although they’re closed and he can’t be seeing much more than he’s already seen before, they darken. A small twitch of his fingers, and the door clicks shut behind him. 

He takes a seat on the side of the bed, next to your legs, and rests his metal hand on your knee. Your heart beats like a hummingbird's wings at the sudden proximity, and the nerves pile up again at the thought of what’s going to happen.

“Wait-- um… actually, can you come here?” 

You reach out to take his metal hand from your knee, and pull him up the bed so that he’s hovering over you. He’s still sitting, the upper half of his body twisted toward you, caging you in with a hand on either side of you. He’s smiling softly, and his eyes twinkle with something fond.

He doesn’t need to ask to know that you’re nervous. The rigidity in your muscles, the flightyness of your eyes, the hammer of your heart-- he can feel it all, and he wants nothing more than to quell your fears. So he lifts an arm to cup your face in his large hand, smoothing a thumb over your cheekbone in a silent request for you to look at him.

Once you muster up the courage to meet his eyes, his smile grows, and he says something that steals your breath.

“Can I kiss you?”

Oh, how long you’ve wanted him to say those words to you. Countless nights, you’d run them through your head, imagining all the scenarios in which it could happen. Certainly, this was not one of them, but you definitely aren’t going to complain.

You don’t trust yourself to speak, so you give him a nod, and lean forward a fraction in invitation. Your veins sing with anticipation, warmth spreading from your cheeks to every small nook and cranny of your body as he angles your face up toward his. Your eyes flutter close, and he leans down, and--

Bliss.

His lips are warm against yours, soft, applying the gentlest of pressures. You always thought he’d be a good kisser-- he was experienced, and he’d hinted at some of his more scandalous escapades a couple times in passing conversation. You’d asked him before, how he could do that when Jedi aren’t allowed to form attachments, which resulted in him going into a full lecture on how non-attachment didn’t translate to abstinence being “The Jedi Way”, even if it was supported within the Order. Really, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything, until he fell on the defensive position that he was almost certain Obi-Wan had done stuff as well.

Which-- great. Now you realized you were less experienced than even two Jedi. 

These thoughts are snuffed out like candles, one by one, as Anakin kisses you. In fact, your whole mind goes blank, a wave washing over all of your worries away and dragging them out to sea. You’re drifting on that wave, drowning in the heady feel of him, the warm taste of him. His slow inhale reminds you to breathe as he moves his lips against yours languidly. It’s heaven, the way he’s yours for just this moment. He might not think anything of this kiss, but to you, it’s like your deepest fantasies are coming true. With each moment that passes where he tilts his head and closes his lips over yours, you can pretend that he is yours, completely and unconditionally.

Eventually he pulls back, eyes fluttering open, and you realize you’re still lost at sea.  

“Good?” his voice is low and raspy as his gaze bores into yours. You wonder if he knows how intense his eyes can be sometimes. 

“Yes.”

He presses another quick kiss to your lips, your heart spasming at the act, before he trails kisses down your jaw, tasting the skin of your neck. Your breath picks up again, hands finding his curls as you gasp at the feeling. His teeth skim over the junction of your neck and shoulder, and he presses a kiss to your throbbing pulse. He means for the kisses to be distracting, soothing, so that you’ll be more comfortable with him, and he thinks it’s working until a faint moan leaves your mouth.

So it’s really working.

Anakin’s eyes flick up to yours, and you can feel the smirk against your skin. Embarrassment crashes down on you again but Anakin repeats the motion, nipping at your skin and then smoothing his tongue over the mark, sucking gently to try to elicit another reaction. You gift him one against your will, and suddenly he’s got lava pouring into his veins.

You’re so lost in the feeling of his mouth on you that you don’t even realize his warm hand has travelled from your face, down the middle of your body, gripping onto the pliant flesh of your thigh and pulling you toward him. You let him, rolling your body into him to try and relieve that reappearing ache in your center. 

It’s the same feeling that had built up all day, and it’s returned with a vengeance. You can feel the wetness seep out, slicking your thighs up. Your clit throbs and your pussy clenches around nothing, begging for something to satisfy the ache. You rub your thighs together to help, but Anakin slides a hand to the inside of your thigh and coaxes your legs apart. Any embarrassment you felt before has been beat out by a yearning for his touch, the need to have his fingers on you, inside you--

“Show me how you’ve been doing it,” Anakin mumbles into your neck.

You open your eyes, pulled up from the haze of pleasure he’d submerged you in. Your hand only shakes slightly as you release his hair and bring it back to your skin. He pulls back a few inches to watch, the heat of his body so close to yours causing goosebumps to erupt all over your body. 

His eyes hone in on your hand, following its descent to your warm center. You still can’t wrap your head around the fact that someone is seeing you like this, but now your veins sing with a satisfied realization that he’s the one seeing you like this. He’s the only one who ever has. And he seems to like what he’s seeing.

You don’t miss the way he inhales, the way his teeth capture a sliver of his bottom lip as your fingers finally reach your heat. You begin to do what you’ve always done-- rub your fingers back and forth over your nub, working that pleasure from it.

It feels good, different than what it felt like when you were alone. You’re sure his eyes on you, the proximity, his mere presence has something to do with that. You can still taste him on your lips and you close your eyes, licking them to relive the kiss. You focus on the warmth of his body, the dip of the bed where his arm is planted beside you, the weight of his other hand still holding your thigh open, the scent of his black leather and spice of his shampoo. It definitely feels better when he’s here, the knowledge of him watching adding to your excitement.

But still, you can only build yourself up to a certain point. The pleasure plateaus, and soon you begin to feel awkward at the fact that nothing is happening. It’s not enough to make you moan, or move, or show any reaction really. Your hand stills, and you look at him uncertainly.

Anakin blinks and brings his eyes back up. “Have you tried fingering yourself?”

You almost choke. You’re not sure why his blunt nature surprises you anymore. 

He’s looking at you curiously, completely serious, waiting for an answer. So you clear your throat and slide your finger down to your entrance, pushing in.

It goes in easier than before, and there’s no sting. But you don’t even have to move to know you’re literally going to get nothing out of it, and trying is useless.

“This is what I’m talking about,” you tell him. “It doesn’t feel like anything. And when I try two, it hurts. I think I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken,” he frowns, smoothing your hair away from your forehead and replacing it with a kiss. Your heart melts at the action that you’re sure is meant to be comforting, but only deepens your adoration of him. He sits up and you immediately miss him, although you understand he needs a better angle as he slides his hand from your thigh to the top of your pelvis. He hesitates, questioning. “Can I?”

You pull your finger out and push yourself up onto your forearms, nodding for him to go ahead. 

His touch is light as a feather as his fingertips make contact with your swollen nub. Your breath hitches in your chest, thighs immediately opening wider on their own accord to get him to increase the pressure. He watches your face as he fulfills your silent request, massaging your clit in slow, gentle circles. 

Fireworks are exploding behind your eyes, and you melt into a puddle on the bed. He’s barely even touching you, and somehow it already feels so much better than anything you’ve done to yourself. Quiet whimpers fall from your lips and the sounds make him need a steadying breath, reminding himself to go slow. Obviously, no one has ever touched you before, and he doesn’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

The sight of your head tilted back, teeth biting at your lips to quiet your sounds, fingers clutching at the bedsheets-- a very sudden, very real desire to absolutely ruin you slams into him. 

But no. That can come later.

He brings his metal hand up to your face, thumb tracing over your bottom lip and pulling it from your teeth. “You don’t have to be quiet with me,” he tells you, the ministrations on your clit with his other hand never ceasing. Instead, he picks up the pace, increasing the pressure, drinking in the sight of your hips moving against his fingers.

You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and puddling onto the bedsheets. You’re not sure you’ve ever been this wet before, or felt this good before, and the warmth you’ve always felt is transforming into a ball of heat in your stomach. You hone into the feeling, the heat pulsing with each pass of his fingers, each wet slide of him against you--

“You have to breathe, Y/n,” Anakin chuckles, slowing his touch. You gasp in a deep breath, whining at the loss of friction, but he appeases you by slipping his fingers from your clit to your entrance. He doesn’t push in-- instead he circles his finger around it, collecting your slick, reading your every response. 

“Please, can you…” you buck your hips up, but he doesn’t allow his finger to slide in until you finish your sentence. “Can you put it in?”

He can’t keep the tiny, darkly satisfied smile off his face. He’s always had fantasies of you like this, squirming beneath him and begging for his touch. He basks in the fulfilled wish of his, drinking in every second so he can remember it for later. Meanwhile, his finger massages your hole, dipping in with just the tip before pulling back out. 

“Fuck,” you hiss, once again surprised at your own reaction. Your head is far past the point of clouding with lust, and now you’re dizzy with pleasure and the need to just have him inside of you already. “Anakin, please.”

“Patience,” he answers teasingly, although he does mean it. You can’t rush these things. And… he does have to admit that he loves seeing you so desperate and messy for him. Your neediness has him strain against his own pants, but he pushes that aside. For now, another dip of his finger into your throbbing pussy has you arch off the bed, urging him deeper, and it’s heaven to witness.

He didn’t want to go all in just yet, but you’re gushing around his finger and taking it so well. So he lets you have it, sinking his finger all the way into you. You feel him go deeper and deeper, the never-ending length of his finger a stark contrast to your shorter ones. He’s reaching places you were never able to, and even the slide of him inside you elicits a deep, warm pleasure that spreads to the tips of your fingers.

He keeps his finger all the way inside for a moment, still as he feels your walls clench around him. Once he’s sure you’re all good, he begins pressing into you with shallow thrusts, thumb returning to your clit and rubbing in time with each push of his finger.

Curses spill from your lips, and Anakin can’t help himself. He leans down over you and captures them in his mouth, swallowing your cries of pleasure. The kiss is wet, dirty, and the muffled sounds of your moans combat the indecent slick and slide below. Soon, another finger is nudging at your opening, and you press yourself deeper into his lips in anticipation of that painful sting.

It doesn’t come.

Instead, his finger slides in a couple inches and he keeps both of them there, letting you adjust as his thumb rolls over your clit. You had never been able to use two fingers before, and your head goes fuzzy as he pushes them deeper. Your walls stretch around him pleasantly, accepting the welcome intrusion as he reaches deep inside you.

How is it fair that he can make you feel so much better than you can make yourself? It doesn’t seem right in the whole grand scheme of things, but you decide not to question it as his fingers suddenly curl inside you, searching. It feels odd, and he pulls back from your lips to concentrate for a second until-- there. Found it.

You almost knock your head into his as you shoot up, a startled cry leaving your lips as your vision whites with pleasure. Your fingers claw at his back, meeting the leather that still sits on his shoulders, and scrabbling over the smooth material for purchase. Anakin laughs at your reaction, easing you into a more comfortable position as he holds you against him with his metal arm behind your back.

You can’t find it in you to care that he’s laughing, not as long as he keeps rolling the pads of his fingers into you like this. His wrist curls, applying a harder pressure as he rubs against that spot, and your head falls back, hips pushing forward, the lewdest sounds you’ve ever heard leaving your mouth. 

“You like that,” he notes, proud smile ghosting over your lips. He kisses the corner of your mouth quick and sweet, then asks, “Is it better when I go slow or fast?”

“Both,” you gasp. “Either. All of it. Oh my--”

“Soft or hard?”

“Anakin--”

Your brain is unable to focus on much else other than the feel of his fingers coaxing that blissful heat from your center. He plays around with paces and pressures, but everything feels good, it feels great, it feels amazing, it feels euphoric. Before long, your legs are shaking and a weird feeling comes over you, and you’re crying out,

“What’s happening?”

Anakin pauses, his entire body stilling as he meets your eyes. You’re completely serious, that much he can tell by the vulnerability in your eyes. He frowns, unbelieving at this revelation.

“Why’d you stop?”

“Have you ever had an orgasm?”

You whine and shift your hips into his hand, trying to get him to keep making you feel good. If this wasn’t your first time being with someone else, Anakin would have held your hip still and forced you to talk to him no matter how much you begged and pleaded. But, it was your first time with someone else, so he was deciding to be nice. He soothes your craving, resuming his movements but at a much slower pace. A pleased sigh from you fills the silence of him waiting expectantly for your answer.

“Um..” you swallow, hips meeting his hand with every thrust. “I don’t think so. No. Nothing’s ever felt… like… this…”

It’s like a sneeze, except much, much better. The way his fingers prod into you, slick with your arousal, the tips brushing and massaging against that spot that have you careening into his body. You would have toppled over on top of him if he wasn’t so strong and rooted to the bed. He holds your shivering body against his chest with his metal arm, lips marking their way around your chin and jaw as your head falls back in ecstasy. 

He’s immensely turned on, that much is obvious from the painful straining in his pants. But it’s easy to ignore, knowing now that you’ve never fallen off that brink of pleasure before. He’s curious about it, oddly saddened by the fact, and wants nothing more than to show you the absolute highs he could help you reach. So he focuses back in on rubbing your clit with his thumb, fucking you deeply on his fingers. He allows you to clutch at his back and bury your hands in his hair, moaning in abandon.

Anakin shares you pleasure as the ball in your stomach unleashes, a blissful warmth crashing over you and invading your every cell. For a moment, your body isn’t yours-- it convulses and clenches around Anakin’s fingers, your cries bounce off the walls, your eyes squeeze closed. You hope the hands twisted into his hair don’t hurt him because you physically can’t let go as you ride that pleasure-filled haze, the feeling in your limbs abandoning you to be replaced with something much stronger. 

For a while, the only sounds in the room are your gasps of air and the blood rushing through your ears. Anakin waits until your muscles relax, and then he slides his fingers out of you, smoothing his hand around your waist to join his other behind your back. He lays you down into the pillows again, burying his face in your neck as you struggle to get your legs to stop shaking.

“Y/n,” he mouths a line up your neck. “You there?”

“Mhm,” you gulp, the shock of that intense, pleasurable feeling just beginning to fade.

He pressed his deep chuckle into the spot right under your ear. “Good. I thought I lost you for a moment.”

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have laughed at his teasing. Now, all you can do is cup his face lazily in your boneless hands, pulling his face up so that you can look at him. His cheeks are flushed the slightest pink, eyes dark and sparkling, lips so red and full and inviting…

You kiss him, and he’s yours for a moment longer. 

If only it could always be like this. If only this could be a daily experience, and afterwards you could take care of him, and you could feel that wonderful euphoria with him at the same time. If only he wouldn’t have to pull away soon, untangle himself from your still-shaking limbs, brush off what just happened, and be on his way. If only he could be yours forever.

All of this, you try to tell him through the kiss. Your lips are hot, sliding over with a wanton need. He feels your yearning, and he can tell it’s a different kind than earlier. You move to deepen the kiss, but he pulls away.

“I know what you’re thinking,” his low voice murmurs, and now he doesn’t look so playful. In fact, he looks very serious, and the rumble of his words causes your stomach to drop. “You should know, Y/n, I want you too.”

The whole room could be on fire and burning and falling to ash around you, but you wouldn’t notice. Everything pales in comparison to the flames that erupt in your heart at the sound of his words. 

“You do?”

He purses his lips, running his eyes up and down your face. You’re nervous, and hopeful, and so, so scared. And also… still shivering. Most likely due to the cold, at this point. And he’s sure the drunken affects of your orgasm are still holding sway over your mind.

“This is a conversation I think would be much better held over some ruby bliels,” he decides, and begins to unwind himself from you. You let him, that hopeful spark still searing through your veins. Before getting off the bed, he presses a kiss into your hand and then smooths over it with his thumb.

You want to say something cute or witty, but the only thing your dumb brain can come up with is, “Okay.”

“Okay,” he smiles fondly, moving toward the door. “I’ll meet you out there. Feel free to remain pantsless.”

This has you rolling your eyes, laughing lightly as you fall back against the pillows. Don’t tempt me.

The prospect of a future with Anakin is at the forefront of your brain, blood pumping thick as molasses as you struggle to convince yourself this is reality. He shuts the door behind him as you leave, and you roll onto your stomach to scream into the pillow. 

This was a dream come true.