#I love Raj so much though

[spencerwatchestoons]

TD SPOILERS//

a present for @a1asta1r :D

[amphibifish]

actually while i'm still on this tybalt and mercutio are so heimdallr and loki

[ninguitar]

꣑ৎ　────　𝓣ANGLED IN LOVE　♱.　LR 　　　　the true queen at the game that i despise 𓈒𓈒

───﹙🕷️﹚𝓢. ｡｡　the friendly neighborhood spider meets the outlaw cat.

𝓹airing. blackcat!lara raj x spiderman!f!r 𝓰enre. fluff wc. 2.1k+ notes ! to clarify, heeseung is ned in this fic, reader is mentioned to have an ex, & reader doesn't know black cat's identity 🤞🤞 (MASTERLIST)

now playing ⋆ track 02 (dangerous lover) by avenoir & mercedes by brent faiyaz

THE THING ABOUT THE BLACK CAT was that oddly enough, she reminded you too much of a certain classmate—a classmate named lara raj, who seems to be disappearing at the crack of dawn, telling you they were merely urgent errands.

the first time you thought of them two, you told yourself it was just a small coincidence and nothing else, yet the thought still lingered in your head; the way the word 'pretty' smoothly rolls off of the black cat's tongue, almost as if she was born to say it, the same way it does with lara—the way they both insisted that you were too much of a worrywart, chastising you for it. it was just a coincidence that they shared a few common things because the alternative meant dealing with something you absolutely thought was way too much baggage.

your head buzzes painfully, and shaking your head, you try to shake off the horror that overcame you; there was no way in hell that your very own classmate was the black cat. lying down on your bed, your gaze following the ceiling fan's movement, you softly hum under your breath. the clock to your left read 2:23 in the morning, and a heavenly sigh drifts from your lips; you could practically stay in your bed for eternity if it meant not having to do anything.

before you could properly get a night's rest, keys begin to jiggle against your door, and a holler outside of it abruptly stops you, your head jolting up. cracking open the door stood a bewildered, disheveled heeseung outside, still in his luigi pajamas. huffing out a puff of air, you sit up from your bed, your arms slouching, as you lock eyes with the korean boy.

it became a routine for him to randomly barge into your dorm, as if you had nothing else to do. sometimes it was about needing your homework answers for your guys' english 1b class, or needing you to hook him up with one of your friends; other times, though, it was about your spider-man duties.

"great timing, heeseung," you grunt sardonically, rubbing your eyes and temples, your eyes barely able to open to see even a sliver of him. "what are you even doing up so late?" brushing the stray tousled hair out of your forehead, confusion washes over your face, as he hurries to your side, his lips pressed thin.

he shrugs, "i could ask the same to you!" a groan falls shortly from his lips, as he lets out a tired laugh. "but that's besides the point; i heard from the police scanner that there was some alarm going off at that really expensive jewelry place, the- the one you were complaining about the other day."

"fifth avenue one, right?" you murmur, as you immediately toss your covers to the side, pulling your closet door open, and pushing through the racks of clothes inside. shuffling through, a grunt escapes from your lips as you realize, "don't tell me it's that burglar who keeps getting away again!"

"if the shoe fits," he chuckles, nudging your shoulder, as you shoot him a glare, making him mumble an apology under his breath. heeseung watches you hastily shuffle around your room, handing you your web-shooters, "it- it could be a false alarm, y'know. i don't know though—it couldn't hurt to check it out, right?"

you hum, nodding your head, as you try to lightly slam your closet door closed, grabbing the web-shooters. sliding on your mask, you pat heeseung's shoulder, "i promise i'll hook you up with that girl in my intro to tech class." and with that being said, you crack open your room's window widely, and swung out of it and into the night to try to catch the same thief from previous nights.

"you better; you owe me for throwing up on my shoes!" the korean boy yells out the window, his voice rugged, as he shortly pulls away from your window, exiting your room.

swinging at breakneck speed, your eyes erratically flicker around each and every building, before arriving at the roof of tiffany & co. not even a few minutes in, and you could hear glass breaking from below you. a grunt falls shortly from your lips, as you maneuver around the building to quietly zip inside. the place was a disaster—an absolute mess of designer jewelry scattered across the floor, and broken glass everywhere. you bite the inside of your cheek, wandering around the store, before spotting the elusive thief, a few items clutched in her hands, a few items.

black-cat was donned in an all black, laced with white suit, and a black whimsy mask that adorned her face. turning around, she hums in delight—almost as if she predicted that you'd already be here in a few minutes. you whisper a curse under your breath in awed disbelief, the girl waist deep in a massive wall-vault, and standing tip-toe to reach the very back.

you might as well have been sitting on dynamite.

"didn't think i'd see you here, pretty," lara drawls, a grin curbing her lips, as she eyes you down almost shamelessly. every single, slight movement you made, she tracked down, her eyes keen, "i'm even impressed you could even find me this time around."

you cross your arms against your chest, barely a few feet away from her. "you knew i'd be here," your voice takes on a stern edge, as you watch the black cat turn to one of the empty display cases, a playful smile beaming through her lips. "god, you know that i have to turn you in-"

your words elicits low chuckles from her breath, shortly interrupting you, "you still with that god-awful girl of yours, or are you swinging solo now?" lara's voice was like velvet to your ears, her brow raised to emphasize her words, as she reaches out towards you, drawing a claw from your shoulder down to your elbow.

sighing in defeat, your shoulders slump, "that's a lot ofquestions," you bite the inside of your cheek, before shaking your head mentally, realizing you were playing into her games. god, there was definitely something magnetic about her—something that unremarkably draws you in against your will. and although her every word got under your skin, there was a strange type of charm to them—one that always made it difficult for you to remain guarded around her.

black-cat tilts her head, her hand resting on your shoulder contemplatively, "i'm just curious," a prideful expression washing over her features—a wide, un-bashful grin curbing her lips, as she watches worry lines crease your forehead.

"i hear that's bad for cats."

she shrugs, lightly tracing a claw along the slide of your masked face, and in a knee-jerk reaction, you jolt away, reaching up to flick her hand off. a faint frown juts her lips for a brief moment, before a half-hearted smile adorns her face, "sue me for wanting to rekindle an old flame." lara dramatically laments—as though she wasn't the same one who was currently clutching god-knows how much jewelry in her arms, that you were shocked she could even effortlessly carry all of them.

"you need to sit back and relax—always so tense, and for what?" looking over her shoulder, her hands spin back to rest on a display case's glass, and she takes slow, measured steps, leaving scratch marks trailing the cases. lara rolls her eyes, sauntering opposite of you, your gaze tracking the languid ease of her movements.

you wryly smile, humming in bored acknowledgement, "how about you tell me why you're really here? you went awol for weeks." gritting your teeth, an exasperated sigh from you following your words.

the red-headed girl shrugs, hopping over the counter, and proceeding to walk towards the broken window—only until your hand curls around her arm, halting her movements. your eyes unconsciously flicker between the flashing lights and sirens of the cop cars surrounding the street below you two, and the lips of the girl in front of you.

"you missed this, didn't you?" lara asks—despite already knowing the answer—tilting her head, and leaning closer towards you. your lips were barely an inch away from hers, a shit-eating grin tugging her lips.

you draw a deep, steadying breath, fighting the urge to play into her games, and with your voice firmer than before, you mutter, "cut it out." clenching your teeth, you could practically feel the red-headed girl's breath fanning over yours, and that surely didn't help—not when you could feel blood rush in your veins, and the way your heart could practically burst out of your chest from how much it was thumping.

your eyes linger on her lips for a split second, that lara most definitely notices, swallowing the smile that threatened to give her away. "the maggia are no joke—"

her arm extends over to your shoulder, and she pulls you closer, her hand slightly tugging on your mask. she softly hums, dismissing your comments, "i missed these little chats." the indian girl watches your expression contort into ones of uncertainty, making her coax out smoothly, "nobody's watching anyway." her hand hastily pulls the skin-tight mask just above your mouth.

it was a push and pull relationship—to say the very least. her lips curl into a sly smile, your eyebrows furrowing.

"this is a mistake."

and really, it sounded like you were more-so trying to convince yourself rather than her, especially when your hands cling to your sides, as if you were debating whether or not you should pull away. the red-headed girl leans in again, her retracting claws trailing lightly over the fabric of your suit, and resting above your heart. it was a miracle that she couldn't feel your heartbeat coming from your sternum.

by then, you'd already accepted your fate—your mind running hazy, and your eyes fluttering shut.

you nonetheless take a few tantalize steps, leaning in, while your lips slightly brush against hers; a wide grin curbing your lips as you watch the indian girl visibly roll her eyes at how painstakingly slow you were moving. her hands slip behind your neck, resting on the back of it comfortably. before you could mumble a teasing quip out from under your breath, she presses her lips against yours feverishly.

it's almost surprising that it's only taken her a few months to worm her way into your heart. she nearly beams.

for a fleeting moment, you freeze, your hands gently pushed up against the red-headed girl's chest, "maybe we should stop; we're not good for each other." she leans her head closer to yours, your noses' slightly bumping.

"we could always ignore that," lara counters, tilting her head, and leans just right by your ear, "we're not doing anything bad necessarily—just all fun, right?"

you nod absentmindedly, too enthralled to even utter out any futile protests. her arms wrap around your waist again, a smile on her lips, as she watches you exhale shakily. you could pick up on the way your heart raced by the second, a huff escaping from you, before you press your lips against hers.

the world stops; nothing exists besides the two of you—well, for only a brief moment.

flashes of blue, red, and white sear through the dimly-lit tiffany's; policemen were already trying to break in. a sigh drifts from your lips, and before you could properly pull away, lara continues to seize your lips against hers. heat curls at your cheeks, before your head snaps to the entrance of the building, making you hastily shuffle off of the girl. several policemen surround the entrance, with weaponry and flashlights aimed towards you two.

"freeze!"

muttering against the radio, one of the officer instructs, "call this in—we have spider-man and an accomplice over here." really, an accomplice? you raise your arms up, and a grunt escapes from your lips .

"see you soon, pretty," black-cat drawls, an ear-to-ear grin tugging the corners of her lips—as if she planned this out. wicked realization blooms across your face, as she takes advantage of the situation, jumping out of the window using her grappling hook, and swinging away.

see you soon—her words echo, practically turning into a mantra in your head.

heeseung. 🦌 : i saw u on the news CTFUU

heeseung. 🦌 : aint no way u lost hold of her again💔

heeseung. 🦌 : god heard my prayers and made you fumble for the 45th time🙏

yn. : shut up hee.

heeseung. 🦌 : js mad u aint pulling bitches LMFAOO

yn. : say bye to that girl in my intro to tech class then, freak.

you don't really wanna be my lady (you don't, you don't),

you know it's more than just drivin' mercedes (more than mercedes)

current 𝓽aglist : ( open. ♱ 2 be added, read this post. )

@kisshae @sed7ction @yeetaberry127 @vrtualstar @jellaaa @jaythegirlkisser @falling-intoo-deep @c-yerim @ssamlovr @gtfoiydlyj @rinapomu @meganskiendielsbtc

[ssamlovr]

♨ lara raj . 𓄹⠀𓈒 ㅤׄ what am i to you? ㅤ𓄼 ⠀ㅤ

ii. ───“I guess they'd think we suit each other. If they saw us,” Lara says, biting her lower lip. “Everyone thought so, didn't they?”

“Yeah,” Yn agrees lightly, something short and quick that makes time stop. “Some things never change, right?”

This is what happens when you suddenly run into your ex-girlfriend in a coffee shop on a Wednesday. This is what happens when you agree to go out with her on something that shouldn't sound like a date. This is what happens when it does sound a lot like one, actually, and you've never really gotten over her.

But, well, Yn and Lara like to think that this is just the natural order of things.

�𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𓈒𓈒𓈒 Lara Raj ⋆ 𝑓𝑒𝑚 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ・ 𝑤𝑐. 7.k ・ 𝑔. 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿f , hurt/comfort—Exes to Lovers. that embarrassing moment when you see your ex for the first time after a while 😓

Lara likes to call herself a lucky person. Over the years, she has often found herself in situations where only the good grace of luck could save her. Like that kind of moment when you're a kid and you've just broken your mother's favorite plate, and then she finds out and she's angry. And, like the good liar that you are, you just put the blame on the dog or cat or whatever it is that could break something other than you. 

For some reason, your mother believes you, you're free from any scolding, and that's luck. Lara really loves that. 

Lately, though, She's been trying too hard to hold on to that thought. It shouldn't be difficult, you know, but it is. After a certain point, Lara should just have given up looking for the thing that would keep getting her out of scoldings and bad situations that leave her puffy-eyed in the morning after a night of pure crying. Surely, as the stubborn person she is and always has been, none of that would make her stop believing that it would all be worth it one day. Because, of course, there's only one thing sweeter than luck, and it's called karma. 

Again, Lara likes to call herself a lucky person. It doesn't necessarily mean that she is—the universe has proven that to her a lot of times. 

And, well, this is one of them, that's for sure. It's a Wednesday, it’s spring, and she needs a coffee. Like, physically needs it, becauses she's miserable to the point of having become addicted to caffeine at the age of nineteen, and apparently, it hasn't ruined her life enough for her to have done anything about it at all. 

Much because of her desperation for coffee, Lara just walks into the first coffee shop that happens to be in front of her, without really caring about how it all sounds. This leads her into a relatively empty one, with just a few people sitting at tables studying or working, too distracted to pay attention to anything. 

She’s quick to make her order: an iced Americano that she would later make a point of adding a lot of sugar to. It's a soft smile on her lips that she gives to the barista before standing in a corner next to the counter where they hand out the orders, waiting for her coffee.

Meanwhile, she pulls out her cell phone in order to check her inbox to see what her next headache at work would be. Obviously, she gets distracted and suddenly ends up on another one of those pages of cute cats videos on TikTok, and that—that is the real problem. Because if she hadn't been so focused on something other than what was going on around her, she might actually have done something, like run or panic or just— 

She should definitely stop drinking coffee.

Because, before she can even assimilate anything, The girl is raising her head once she hears the barista say that same order she's always been so familiar with and a name. 

 A name that has never, not even once, failed to send Lara to fucking hell for her sins.

Then, Yn, after seeing who is right in front of her, doesn't even seem to really care about her order anymore. An oat milk latte with one shot of vanilla syrup, by the way, which is strange, because she always used to order two, and just didn't add a third one because she was afraid the barista would think she was a sugar addict. Yn, in fact, seems almost as surprised as Lara by the whole situation, her eyes wide as they always were when she was scared, or panicked, or a mixture of the two. Lara guesses that maybe that’s one of the times when she’s just both, actually.

What Yn does, in fact, is stand facing Lara, looking as if she really hasn't realized that she was there before, well, doing it. Lara wonders if she isn't just thinking of turning around and pretending that none of this had ever happened and not even worrying about her coffee. Because, well, that's what Lara is considering doing, and she and Yn have always had terribly similar minds. 

But, going against all her expectations and perhaps false desires, Yn does what even she didn't know she had the courage to do, because what comes out of her lips is a simple, “Hi.”

And Lara should have continued with her plan to just run away, because ‘panicking’ is already in action, in truth. However, she also didn’t know she had the guts to do that either, because suddenly all she says back is, “Hello.”

It's silence after that. A terrible, absolute, panic-filled silence. And neither of them really thought that one day that peaceful quietness they were always so used to sharing would suddenly become that. 

Well, not so suddenly. It's something that would hurt Laras heart if she even dared to think about it. 

Surprising Yn and herself, Lara is the first to break it, pointing with her chin to the drink that has been forgotten on the counter. “One shot, huh? It was always two at least.” 

Yn seems to flinch at that, as if still trying to identify that little trace of humor in Lara's voice, though always mixed with a little discomfort. And she can't cling to the fact that Lara remembers it, she can't. Yet Yn does it anyway.

“Trying to cut off,” she shrugs before shyly picking up her coffee, looking at it in her hands just so she doesn't have to face the girl. It's an awkward instant between them where they both look away too many times to count, although neither is really willing to move. Incredibly, it’s Yn who continues, “So... how's your family? Your friends?”

Lara pauses. Trying to pull herself together again. “Oh, you know. Family is family. And Yoonchae still asks me to help her do her homework.” 

Yn chuckles quietly. God, Lara has never forgotten how that sounds, but it still seems completely new. “You mean... she asks for your help and you basically do it for her?”

Yn blinks. Are we reminiscing about the past, then? She thinks, a nasty little voice in her head, though not strong enough to stop that particular loud beating of her heart. 

“You know I can never say no to her when she makes those puppy eyes.” 

The smile that appears on Yn's face is absolutely breathtaking. There's no other word for it when it just looks so... genuine. Her dimples and that little bag under her eyes don’t lie. Lara knows that better than anyone.

"You're fine. I couldn't either.” Yn nods slightly. 

Yeah, you couldn't say it to me too, that voice once again, and then Lara needs a lot of strength to let it go.

“And... what about you? Does Manon still send you hundreds of messages to update you about her day?” Lara asks because, Jesus, she misses Manon so much. 

“Not as much as before, unfortunately,” Yn says with a shrug. “She's got a girlfriend now. Someone better to do the job.”

“Sorry, but I think she kind of did that with everyone,” Lara smiles softly at the memory of having lots and lots of photos of Manon in her gallery because the girl always made a point of sending them. And who exactly was Lara to deny something as sweet as that? “Never getting tired of talking and stuff.”

“Oh, did she used to text you too?” Yn frowns. 

“Every day.” 

Yn makes that expression of when she's disappointed about something, though never serious enough. Lara feels like she could die at the very moment. “Ah, and I thought I was the only one.”

You were for me, oh, the voice decided to be sensitive for the first time. Something is happening, then.

Well, maybe this is what happens when you suddenly run into your ex-girlfriend who you broke up with less than five months ago. Actually, Lara hadn't even had a chance to properly celebrate another month that had passed since that, because there is still a week to go before it's really five months. In any case, she could hardly call it a celebration, considering that it would probably consist of her crying more and more about the break-up she hadn't gotten over. 

Not that she'd ever thought she could get over Yn. Not that she'd ever thought she could break up with Yn, but there they are, and actually all Lara wants to do is kiss her on the lips and taste the coffee she'd just started drinking. Lara is still sure it would be sweet even with just a dose of vanilla syrup. 

But no. She wouldn't do that, because that Yn isn’t there for that. She is no longer the Yn that Lara loved so much to kiss and talk to about life, she hadn't been for much more than just five months.

She's the ex-girlfriend Yn. No longer just girlfriend. It's a distinction that Lara still has to learn to make inside her mind. 

Suddenly, it's her order that's called, and she can do nothing but pick up her coffee with trembling hands, knowing full well that Yn is watching her movements, because that's what she always does. It's still too hesitant the way they just stand there, facing each other, waiting for the moment when they would inevitably separate and then that would be the last time. 

Well, change of plans, apparently, because it's Yn who says, “Well, that was really nice, actually,” and it’s a second longer than usual before she can fully meet Lara's eyes. “Maybe we should do that on purpose sometime.”

And Lara wishes she could say that they definitely, certainly wouldn't do that. 

She can't, however, because she just nods and leaves the café with the one who should at least sound like her ex-girlfriend. Doing what should at least sound like one last time. Far from it, unfortunately. 

She already knew for a long time that it wouldn't be at all.

It's not a date. 

It's a Saturday night, no longer a Wednesday morning. It's still spring, though, just like that first time. Lara is wearing that pair of jeans that she always tries to forget the fact that Yn really liked but, well, they're really nice, so she can't exactly blame her.

She's not that worried about the way she looks. Maybe a little, maybe too much. 

It's not a fucking date. But maybe Lara wants it to be one, maybe yes, maybe no. She’s still making up her mind about it.

As she watches Yn's car drive into her street, she can't help the insistent pounding in her heart, ripping through the walls of her body. She also still can't help the small smile she's forced to give when Yn opens the door for her from the inside, and then it's only a second before she can leave the cold night behind and sit down in the passenger seat. 

The car is warm, the heater should probably have been on just a minute before. It was something Yn always did, leaving the car warm before Lara got into it, because she liked to be comfortable, but hated the feeling of the warm air hitting her. 

Well, she’s doing it again, apparently. Still on that reminiscing thing and all that, then. 

“So... where are we going today?” Lara asks softly once Yn starts driving again. Only after making sure that Lara had put on her seat belt, of course. 

Yn hums quietly, just one hand on the wheel. Lara used to think it was dangerous when people did that before she saw her do it, because then all she could think was that this is the hottest thing a girl could do, if that girl is Yn. “How about that restaurant we used to go to?” she suggests, a trace of hesitation in her voice that only Lara could recognize. 

“Which one?”

“That restaurant,” Yn licks her lips. “The first one.” 

Lara blinks. “Oh. That one.” 

It's such a short silence that she can't even recompose herself, because then Yn is looking at her slightly. Fast enough to make it shatter, not so long to break it completely—although it’s so dangerously close. She doesn't even have enough time to say something else before Yn murmurs in that tone of voice that has always been just for Lara: “But we can always go somewhere else if you want.” 

Lara chuckles silently. The old Yn would never say that, because she was the one who always made sure to plan all their dates, with no exceptions. Lara trusted her blindly, and her expectations were never broken. Perhaps she still does, even after everything.

“No, it's okay,” She reaffirms, glancing at Yn as she focuses on the road again. It’s much easier to do that when she isn't looking back. “Won't that be too nostalgic, though?”

Yn seems to take a second to think about it and, God, she hasn't changed a bit, still with the black hair that always fell into her eyes and that habit of biting her lower lip when she's too lost in her thoughts. Lara didn’t expect her to change, because it's only been five months, but there's always that type of person who, after a break-up, dyes their hair or changes their style or gets a piercing. Not Yn, though. She's still just the same as before—although Lara thinks she wouldn't look bad with an eyebrow piercing. 

"Maybe,” Yn says after a moment, so quietly that Lara wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been so focused on her in the first place. “but let’s do it anyway.”

And, as always, This girl can do nothing but agree. Accept. Because what exactly would she do for that person who never stopped looking like the girl she fell in love with and promised to keep doing so for the rest of her life?

When they finally arrive at the restaurant, she can be sure that her mind starts to combust with all the deja-vu invading her head without warning. It's a complete avalanche as soon as she and Yn ask for a table for two and instinctively choose that particular corner of the room. And Jesus Christ, Lara should have denied it, she shouldn't have been there, not in that restaurant, not with Yn, not with any of that—

It's a date, she realizes when suddenly everything leads them to that same old table that is always empty, just waiting for them.

Yn pulls out the chair for her to sit on and they both smile. The waiter comes and they order what they, again, always used to. They talk about something meaningless, about the present, about the future, all seeming too sensitive to touch open wounds like the past. Still, Lara can't help but notice the way a lock of hair keeps falling into Yn's face, and she needs too much strength to stop that desperate impulse of her to just lean in a little and—

Look, Lara never considered herself a particularly strong person. She's lazy and doesn't like working out, her favorite weekend activity is watching bad romantic comedies and sleeping. She always hated having to carry heavy things, whether it’s her own home furniture or bags from the market. Just like her physique, she never expected her mind to be strong—in fact, it might even be weaker. 

The point is, Lara doesn't know how to stop it all from happening. All of it, from start to finish. She doesn't know how to stop her eyes from always falling on Yn after a pause in their conversation, seeming to hesitate about it in a way that they never, ever did. She doesn't know how to stop her heart from beating so fast after months of feeling completely frozen—she doesn't know how to stop wondering about all those things, about what was and what could have been. God, they'd never had to doubt anything between them for years, but then everything seemed so damned lost overnight. 

Well, not really, and she knows it. She's there, with Yn, and it doesn't seem as lost as before. Maybe they have found each other after all, but at what cost?

Because they are in that same restaurant, at that same table. They had been there a thousand times, because she loves the meat and Yn loves anything Lara loves. Because that was the place of their first date, and what happened afterwards was also one of the many... first times they had with each other. 

That's another first, then. The first date after the break-up. Just as miserable as the whole story. 

Sometimes all Lara really, truly wants, without second thoughts or hesitations, is for her and Yn to just exist. To forget everything and skinny dip in water under the bridge. In what they had always done so well together. 

And Lara is resilient most of the time, but she's sinking with the ship when suddenly Yn says, “What are you thinking about?”

She blinks, realizing she has been silent for too long. “Just... you know, it's been a long time since I last came here. Everything looks the same, though.”

“Really? You've never been here on your own?” Yn asks and she looks so innocent. Lara can't even get mad about it. 

She just snorts, taking a soft sip from her glass of water which serves as a distraction from having to stare into Yn's eyes, too focused on the liquid. “You know I didn't.”

“Why’s that?”

She needs a second more. Perhaps an eternity. “It reminds me of you. Here. I just... thought it wouldn't make sense if I wasn't with you.” 

Yn opens and closes her mouth a few times, so disoriented that she swears everything starts to move around her. “But you love the meat here...” she mutters, a sad sigh escaping from between her lips. 

Yeah, Lara thinks, and it's a melancholy smile on her face when she can't look away. But I love you more. 

Shs doesn't bother answering after that, because then the food arrives. Just to add to all those thoughts in Lara's brain, she can be sure that the waiter is the same as the one from the first time. From the first date. It's something that would make her just walk out and plan her suicide if she didn't, in fact, love meat.

It's easier to take it while they're eating, even though she can't help but notice the way Yn looks at her, her eyes full of admiration as she watches Lara enjoying her favorite meal. Well, Yn can't help but do that, so it’s okay. 

Somewhere between all that, as always, it's really suddenly the way she just lets her gaze linger on the red-haired girl for too long when she asks, again, very suddenly, “Do you remember that time we made a video to our futures selves?”

Lara blinks, and if the grip of her fingers on the fork hadn't been so strong it would probably have fallen straight onto her plate. She doesn't know if she's liking this reminiscing about the past thing anymore. 

“Yeah. I guess I must have it saved somewhere,” she replies softly, trying to sound casual. She knows exactly where that video is, though. That album in her phone gallery named with a simple (yet devastating) “gf <3” that, even after five months, she has been unable to delete. 

And she has never been able to delete any of it, in fact. When they messaged each other to arrange that “date”, the last texts were still saved in the chat, ghosts hanging around.

“Do you... remember what you said?” Yn asks, hesitation leaking down her throat, falling through her words. It didn't take long for Lara to notice that her cheeks are starting to turn that shade of pink, but maybe it’s just—maybe it’s just the natural color of it. 

Lara smiles sadly, her heart heavy in her chest. “I think I said I wanted to marry you,” she murmurs and doesn't have the courage to look at her ex's eyes at the moment, already knowing that there is that same glint as before. “Silly, isn't it?”

“Not much,” Yn swallows dryly, playing with her fingers in that nervous way. The blush on her face has stopped being natural for quite some time. “It used to make sense at the time, I guess.”

I think it never stopped doing so, is a ponderous thought that Lara lets invade her mind.

“yeah,” Lara's lips curve wistfully. “What about you?”

Yn smiles and it looks sincere. She's always been terrible at hiding her emotions anyway. “I told you that you suited me well. Or that I suited you. Something like that.” 

Oh, there it is. Lara remembers it perfectly, the day they recorded the video, the way it all sounded like a promise. She remembers when Yn pulled her closer, the cell phone still in her hand, and then they kissed until they forgot all their words and that would be enough. It was always so enough that—

Lara lets out, “You...”

“What?” Yn doesn't even hesitate. 

“It’s stupid.”

Yn snorts, something sweet that makes her dimples appear slightly. Lara has always dreamed of always making her smile and then keeping them there forever. “It’s okay. All this is stupid.”

Lara smiles too, she can't help it. It’s all so, so stupid. Impulsive and reckless, just so... them. 

 They've always been that right from the start, haven't they? Getting carried away and adoring every part of it, without a single thought about the things they knew that were meant to be. And sometimes Lara Raj likes to think that they could just take it all off and start again, but at others she just wants to carry on like this. 

Just never change the way they had always loved to be. 

“Do you still think that?” She asks, something catching in her throat when Yn doesn't let her look away. A sparkle in her eye that keeps Lara in place. “That we suit each other?

Yn blinks once, twice, and everything starts to slip away, “Maybe. Yeah. I think so.” she pauses. “I mean, can you suddenly stop suiting someone?”

Lara sighs, and all she wants to say is no, you cannot. Not us. But then she has to control herself and looks away, taking a much deeper sip of water than she probably would in any normal situation. 

“It wasn't that sudden, though.” 

She instantly regretted it, just like everything she had done before. The girl's gaze freezes for a few seconds and Lara can feel her own heart doing the exact same thing. 

“Still.” Yn whispers, anyway, because that's what she always does. 

Yeah, still, Lara's mind pulses. God, she's really starting to regret all that—not that she didn't regret everything else as well. She certainly, without a single doubt, regretted what had caused them to be there, in that same restaurant they had gone to as girlfriends, but now as exes. And yet, it didn't seem enough for her to even think about stopping it. For her to try to stop the way her heart pounded when Yn sent that message asking her out, and then she knew. 

She's never really going to stop doing that sort of thing, is she? What they always liked to call love. 

The guilt and regret Lara feels about all the previous events should be the answer to all of it, actually. Because she regrets meeting Yn in the coffee shop, talking to her, accepting everything. And this is only happening because the fact is, Lara didn't want it to happen at all. Under no circumstances did Lara want Yn to have become someone she couldn't even look at, someone she could now only miss—someone who, for so long, had been perfect for her in every way. 

She didn't want it to have changed. None of the things, absolutely none of them—and how bad is it to say that maybe Lara never wanted to stop making sure that Yn loved her exactly the way she said she did?

Because, God, now she doesn't even know if she does. Like, at all, and that's just—

“Do you,” Yn suddenly speaks up again, catching Lara's eye as she gently points out with her chin at a couple at the table next to them. “think they would think we suit each other?

Lara blinks, looking at the couple. It's a man and a woman, probably only a few years older than them. They are pretty, and they definitely suit each other, that kind of beauty that complements the other perfectly. She can't help but wonder what they are to each other, if this is their first date, or if it will be their last. She notices the ring on her finger, beautiful and shiny, and Lara finds herself wondering if she has ever thought of taking it off, putting it aside and just... existing without it. Did she ever think that one day she would be able to do it? That one day it would be possible?

Lara never thought she could. Still, the ring Yn had given her is kept in a hidden place in her room and she has never been able to look at it since what they regretfully called the end. 

“I don't think they even saw us, Yn,” Lara says flatly, but her heart skips a beat when she can't exactly look at her. 

Yn blinks at that, embarrassed. “You're right,” she makes that head movement she always does when she's upset, or ashamed, or whatever that used to make Lara automatically lean in for a soft kiss as an apology. “Sorry.”

Lara sighs, staring at her plate which has already started to empty as dinner goes on. It's not even five seconds later that she looks at the couple again, and then at Yn. At her eyes, beautifully illuminated by the restaurant lights, at her ridiculously long eyelashes fluttering gently, at her angelic expression. 

Fucking hell, she hasn’t changed at all. She's still Yn, the same old Yn. The one who hadn't even hesitated to make Lara fall madly in love with her in a pathetically short space of time. 

And again, fucking hell. Lara is starting to be really grateful for that.

“But... I do,” the words are out of her mouth before she can even think about it. 

 “You what?” Yn blinks, her full attention on her again.

“I guess they'd think we suit each other. If they saw us,” Lara says, biting her lower lip in a way that always makes Yn unable to control herself, just giving up and staring at it. It’s only a second before she realizes it and tries to look away. “Everyone thought so, didn't they?”

I think so too, she smiles softly as she watches the couple again, a bad excuse to avoid her gaze. Not that it would ever stop Yn from looking at her anyway. 

“Yeah,” Yn agrees lightly, something short and quick that makes time stop. “Some things never change, right?”

Lara turns to her, they look at each other. It's infinite, profound, as if everything is still the same as before. As if they are the same as before. 

And they wouldn't talk about it, but they both hope they are. 

They would never change. That's one thing—or rather promise— they've known and would continue to know from the very first moment they met. 

Lara was sixteen when it happened. When the two of them looked at each other for the first time and automatically knew that there was something between them that would make them happen, from the beginning to the end to the beginning again. And who exactly were they to stop something that looked so much like the fatality of their own beings? 

They became that typical high school couples. The ones who ate lunch and drank coffee together, who studied in the library and kissed in the restrooms, just because they were too shy to do it in the hallways. Yn was the girlfriend who picked flowers on the way to class and gave them to her lover, and Lara was the one who kept them all until they wilted, and then Yn would be there to give new ones again. It was the natural order of things, it was how they would always be. 

It was only at the end of high school that problems began to arise. They already had them, of course, like every other person and couple out there—like anyone who broke up, like anyone who stayed together regardless. However, they very decidedly thought that there would be nothing in the world that could make them stop loving each other, let alone something that would make them fall apart. 

They were right about one of those things. One of the many promises they would never risk breaking. 

The point is, relationships are complicated, and any minimally decent person knows that, and so did they. Living practically together, which had always been so easy, suddenly became very difficult for both of them. With the end of the semester, the month, the week and the day, they were constantly stressed, angry, very easy to fight, very difficult to fix. These were things that slowly drained them, making them lose their desire for everything they had always loved: the slow, deep kisses became quick and meaningless, the result of a habit. The times they spent hours talking about life became short minutes where they asked how the day was, how they were, and then the answers would always be the same. The warmth, which had always been so right to make them certain, gave space to the cold, which always created so many doubts.

 And although they tried everything to make it different, so that it didn't really affect what they had, well, it did, and it was just too many things to deal with at once. 

So, they broke up. Without much talking, without much logical thought behind it. They just sat down on the couch after one of the many little arguments they had during the day, looked at each other, and then it was there. 

Something that neither of them had the strength to resolve. 

They both cried, it seemed mutual. And anyone looking at it would probably think it was because there was just no more love between them, because there was no longer anything they could fight for. But no. 

The love never really died, and that was the worst part. They just couldn't wait for the moment when they would hurt each other so much that they would actually kill it. 

Some time later, Lara continued to think and make theories about it. About why everything had ended up that way, why they had turned into that. And, really, there was nothing dramatic about it, something worthy of the silver screen; it was real, human, a flower slowly wilting until it had a chance to be watered again. 

Five months passed where they were separated, waiting for the moment when they would have that again. 

The answers to all their doubts: why they had fallen in love with each other from the start, why they had never been able to stop doing it. 

It had been about four years of dating, five months apart. And still, still, no kind of ending would ever make them forget why they had started in the first place.

At the end of the night, Yn stops the car on Lara's street, in front of her apartment, and then the silence is instantaneous. 

The song that was playing before suddenly stops, letting another one start, but neither of them is paying attention anymore. They were talking about something, probably, and all Lara wants to do is beg Yn to just go back to driving, and then they would talk again and everything would be fine. 

She just wants five more minutes. She doesn't want to go home. 

What happens instead is Yn looking at her and smiling softly, something sad behind her expression as she says, “I really liked tonight.”

The smile Lara is ready to give back instantly trembles. “Me too. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for running into me in the café that day.” 

“Thanks for saying hi to me first,” Lara adds with an amused giggle soon after and this makes Yn's smile become more sincere. Lara feels like she might melt right then and there. 

“Why? Wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't?” Yn asks softly, leaning back in the driver's seat. 

“I mean, I didn't know what to do.” Lara confesses honestly. “It's good that you did, though.”

Yn chuckles quietly, playing with her fingers in her lap, smiling sweetly when she sees that Lara is watching it. “Well, I didn't know what to do either. I just... thought well, why not, mhm?” she murmurs, and then she has Lara's eyes back on her. It's something that warms her heart just like before. “It felt a bit like before when we were talking. So... I don't know. It was nice. It was all nice.” 

“I think so too,” Lara nods, agreeing softly when she feels her ears turn slightly red. And she isn't someone who gets hot easily, but suddenly the inside of the car seems to be on fire. “It's as if... nothing has really changed.”

Yn has to wait a second for that. “It hasn't. Me and you,” she swallows dryly, her voice much more serious when she can't bring herself to look at Lara completely. “Even after everything... we're still the same, aren't we?”

It's a trace of hesitation in her voice that makes Lara have the hungry instinct to just kiss her until Yn is completely sure about whatever she's talking about. Until she never has to doubt anything between them again.

“Yeah. I guess so,” she just assents, however, something quick and short that makes them both look away for a second.

Lara knows that this is the moment when she will probably just leave, go home, and then that would be the last time. They wouldn't meet again, whether in a coffee shop or in the restaurants they used to go to together that now neither of them can go to alone again. They wouldn't talk about it, either, there would be no other messages or calls or excuses for them to see each other. There would be no other time, no other end. That would be it, and that would be that. 

But no, of course not. The car doors are still locked, She is still there, Yn hasn't moved. It's a beat of silence short enough for her to have the courage to break when Lara dangerously asks, “Do you remember our first kiss?”

Yn freezes at that, as if suddenly everything is coming back to her brain more than automatically. It had happened a few years before, in that exactly same place, exactly after everything they are doing again this night. The first date, the first kiss— and then…

“Of course,” she mutters, her voice low as she still doesn't dare to look at Lara from that angle. “How could I forget?”

Lara takes a deep breath, just to have the strength. Just to have the heart for it. “You were right there, and I was right here. We were coming back from the same restaurant as now, from our first date. Then suddenly...” she allows herself to smile, Yn's hands trembling from where she can see. “You kissed me. I kissed you back, and it was very weird at first because you'd never really kissed anyone before.”

 Yn lets out a laugh. Sincere, loud, the kind that never failed to make Lara's heart flutter just as it is doing now. 

“I was nervous!” Yn bursts out, finally looking at her. her dimples are on full display and Lara has to control herself a lot not to just lean over and put her finger in that particular spot. 

Instead, she laughs too, because Yn doesn't stop, and who is Lara, if not the person who has never been able to deny any of the various paths that Yn has leading her down? 

“But... I mean, are you now?” Lara asks softly once her giggles are no longer echoing around, a very risky question given the situation. 

Yn looks at her for a second longer, a trace of laughter slowly draining from her face. Although never that little smile. “Why would I?”

Lara shrugs, hesitantly. “I don't know. You always used to get nervous around me.”

Yn swallows dryly. “Yeah. Used to. In the past.”

“Yeah, but... it could, I don't know, have been one of the things that hasn't changed either.”

 It's an instant of silence between them and suddenly the air becomes much heavier, taking much more effort to enter their lungs. Their eyes meet and that contact lasts much longer than it normally would, much longer than it should, but neither of them does anything to stop it. Neither of them seems to have the courage, neither of them seems to want to.

 “What else hasn't changed?” Yn asks, her voice trembling so slightly that Lara wouldn't even notice if she wasn't so attentive to the other's every move. 

Lara licks her lips and Yn stares, not looking away for a single second. It's so instinctive that she doesn't even have time to feel embarrassed about it. She has all her attention focused on Lara's mouth as it curves around the words, “You know what.”

Yn is a weak woman, she has always known that, but then everything becomes much more obvious when she notices exactly what Lara has been doing. Pushing and pushing right up to the edge until the moment when the other would have to take the first initiative, the first move, the first action. And surely there is no one else in the whole world who loves playing that role more than Yn.

“I know,” She whispers, practically hypnotized by the way Lara's eyes are watching her at that moment, not even trying to hide the fact that she is looking at Yn's lips too. Slow and intoxicating and so damn beautiful.

Lara isn't particularly strong either, because her lips tremble visibly when she can't look away and then everything seems to slow down. “And... what exactly are you going to do about it?”

It's not even a breath later that she knows. And, God, she's never been so happy to know about something, because then Yn is leaning in and Lara doesn't even have the heart to stop the way their lips fit perfectly into the kiss she has spent so long dreaming about. 

And none of her dreams would live up to reality, because apparently Yn is determined to make it better . When their mouths meet and Lara automatically kisses her back, it's very gentle for the first ten seconds. Just a pressing of lips as if they are still exploring new waters, mastering new places. At some point, however, Lara is sighing as she leans closer, holding Yn by the face, and then that's it. 

It takes exactly one instant and a gasp for Yn to throw her hands all over her, holding Lara by the neck to deepen their kiss. It had been a long time, but she would never forget what it’s like to kiss Yn, never forget what it is like to love every moment of it. 

“I miss you,” Yn whimpers between kisses, her eyes closed when all she can feel is Lara against her mouth, blindly searching for more.

Lara smiles at that and Yn feels it, wishing she could do it forever. “I'm right here,” and she is. god, she is.

It's intoxicating the way they get closer and closer, as if they're focused on breaking that claim that two people can never be in the same exact place at the same time. 

Well, Lara knows a thing or two about her and Yn. And one of those is that nothing is really impossible for two people who would never stop loving each other.

[snoopyiz]

‘ to all the girls I’ve loved before ’ feat. LARA RAJ & SOPHIA LAFORTEZA

─── ﹙📬﹚ In which yn writes about all the girls she’s loved, except she’s never ended up with any of them.

PAIRING(s): lara raj x ex!situationship!reader, sophia laforteza x ex!friend!reader

WARNING(s): slight angst, leading on, ghosting, and mentions of megan skiendiel x onesided!reader

A/N: wrote ts so I didn’t self sabotage 🙏🏽 I live to see another day

Yn has always considered herself a hopeless romantic, always throwing her heart in places that cannot be fathomed, with people who are less than deserving.

Whenever she had an intense crush she wrote it down, placing it deep within her closet— thankfully she’s only ever had to write about it twice.

The first one was for a girl who wasn’t even less than deserving, she was below that. Sophia Laforteza. The golden girl, one your feelings truly rooted deep for. It was always flirting with her, the pet names she used would always pull you in.

“yn my love,” Sophia said as she cradled your head to her chest. Sophia was affectionate through touch, that was how she expressed her love, so you thought.

As time went on and your feelings grew, things got more awkward between you two. One day she started talking about this guy— it made your heart drop the moment you heard it, yet you played it off.

“and I'm absolutely sure we’re gonna kiss when we meet up!” She beamed, even if the air was tense; she wasn’t. As time went on she got more distant, until you stopped talking. You hated it.

As you wrote about her, you’d think about texting her. Maybe she would respond? Or she wouldn’t. You convinced yourself you hated her, yet did you?

When you told Sophia about your feelings, the awkwardness only got worse. Your friendship was renowned to ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ texts. In the end, Sophia said she knew all along.

Ever since that day, you’ve let your friendship wither away, not willing enough to continue something that was hurting you.

The second letter was to someone who wasn’t half as bad, yet it hurt just as much. Lara Rajagoplan. Lara wasn’t as flirtatious as Sophia, yet she had her moments at times.

The only barrier between you and Lara was the fact you met her at some overnight art high school camp, yet you texted almost everyday.

She was never good at responding though, ghosting you for days on end. Until one day you decided enough was enough, you sent her a long paragraph about how if she didn’t care about whatever you two were, then it wouldn’t work.

Her response came two weeks later. Two weeks. To sum it up, Lara admitted to ignoring you. In her words, she wanted you two to work, yet refused to acknowledge the fact that ghosting you was wrong, so you ended up blocking her.

Whenever you thought of Lara, the lingering question of what you could’ve been always lingered.

You try not to dwell on the thought of the two, yet somehow they always come back— even when you’ve moved on. Your new crush, someone you’re infatuated with. Yet she has a boyfriend. Megan Skiendiel.

[ruruvxz]

brat - SNEAK PEAK

Lara Raj x Female Reader x Megan Skiendiel

~ synopsis: You've never really been an emotional drunk, that was until your boyfriend left you for your closest friend that things started to spiral for you. Tonight at one of you recurring escapades at one of the locals pubs near your apartment, you unknowingly stumble across two girls. Two girls you didn't know now, who would change the trajectory of your life, whether it was for the good— or the bad, you just needed something to take you off the edge. And so, Lara and Megan knew exactly how to do that, but at what cost?

~ cw: three part series, alcoholism, commitment issues, mentions of previous relationship with a man, fluff, swearing, love triangle(?), everyone here is toxic

~ wc: N/A

(a/n: sigh. I’m gonna discontinue “the woman who left too soon” LAWL!!! Cus these apps pmo and literally take so much storage 💔💔I’m going back to writing cus that’s so much easier. anyways sneak peak ^_^)

brat,

365 PARTYGIRL, B2B, GIRL SO CONFUSING

Lara and Megan never had the issue of sharing, even during training days, they managed to share everything they owned with one another. Their clothes, their jewelry, and even their secrets, no aspect about themselves wasn't shared with one another. The bond between the two girls was unshakable, though that didn't negate the fact that in some circumstances both the girls could be quite... passionate. After a long marathon of double dates, they couldn't possibly find their other halves, each guy and girl who they spoke to didn't ignite a spark within them.

Maybe staying single would've been a lot easier, but that's boring! Both the girls took their only opportunity to sneak out to seek refuge in a club, not seeking anything more but to get lucky tonight. That was until they stood sipping on their cheap beer when Lara set her eyes on your figure. The obnoxious lighting made it hard to tell you out, but her odd fascination drew her closer to you. What felt like hours of staring for Lara, was mere seconds for Megan, as her interest also piqued.

"Who the hell are you looking at, Lara?" Megan pried, tugging onto Lara's waist belt loop, Lara only gave a little head nudge at the general direction of where you stood. Megan fixated her eyes, grasping at the glass, her eyes widened when the light reflected from your infectious smile.

Maybe it was the ambience of the club, but she was instantly hooked and Lara sensed that the ginger had similar intentions as her. "Isn't she gorgeous?" Lara mumbled, watching the Hawaiian as she checked the girl out from the other side of the bar. "I'm gonna talk to her—“ Megan spoke, about to walk off before her wrist was quickly nabbed by the desi girl.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The red head bit as she yanked her back over to the table, "I literally saw her first, so why would YOU ever go over there and talk to her Mei."

Megan scoffed as she pulled her hand away from Lara's grasp, ‘What the hell was her problem' Megan thought before she spoke. "What are you even on about, if you care so much how about you talk to her then."

"Great idea, Meg." The desi laughed before pushing Megan out of the way, leaving the ginger utterly shocked at her change of demeanor. "Wha- Come back here! I was kidding!"

Lara just laughed at the ginger trying to plead her case, turning in her heels to walk into your general vicinity, practically hopping over to you as your friends you where previously with dispersed. Bringing the shot glass to your lips, you took another fiery swig of the vodka, your eyes almost bloodshot, as tears were biting back from pouring. ‘Shit, where you crying?’ Lara thought as she approached you, from a far, the way you laughed, and smiled, she wouldn’t have ever expected in a million years that you’d look so disheartened.

But of course, that didn’t sway her, not one bit, once she was fixated on something, it was hard for her to ever let it go. She approached closer to you, your hands slithering to another shot of vodka the bartender quickly poured for you. Despite everything, you still looked as wonderful in her eyes, she’s seen her fair share of broken things, but you by far were the most beautiful of them all.

The way the strobe lights bounced off your face, or the way everything seemed so fitted to your body as you sat letting trickles of liquid fall down from your lips towards your chin. It made her look insane just staring at you. And despite how you lacked any sobriety in your bones, you noticed her looming presence almost instantly. Even in this club setting she stuck out like a sore thumb, she was much too pretty to be loitering around a place like this, and she didn’t look all that much of a plentiful drinker.

She approached your seat on the bar, sitting on your left hand side, trying her hardest to be slick, but it very much came off as the opposite. You jerked your head up to look at her, giving her a soft smile before indicating for two more shots. Lara looked at you in disbelief where you really going to have two more shots? That was until the bartender handed you the two drinks that you slid one over to her with a smile.

The silence between the two was palpable, she just stared down at the shot awkwardly as you carefully watched her reaction. It took a minute or two before finally breaking the silence between the both of you. “You got a staring problem.” You slurred, coming off more aggressive than you’d like, “What?” She bit staring back at her as her eyebrow raised.

“Haha— No sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” You hiccuped raising your head up and turning your body towards her, “I meant like… fuck— You just kept staring, I was wondering if you wanted to say something.” You laugh indicating at where she stood beforehand, clearly insinuating that you had seen both her and Megan staring at you moments prior.

“Ah…” The redhead gasped, before laughing with you loudly, the interaction flowed seamlessly as she spoke. “No, sorry, you were right. I was just taken aback by you— your breathtaking.” She complimented, raising up the vodka and taking a fast swing at it.

“Oh! So I guess we both misunderstood the situation!” You giggle softly to yourself before doing the same, taking a swing at your glass and practically leaving it empty as you place it back down on the countertop.

“Anywho I’m Y/N, nice to meet you…?”

“Lara.”

“Nice to meet you Lara.” The way she spoke felt like swimming in honey, it was slow and addictive, not to mention the fact she looked at you like her next meal made it all the more enjoyable as you chatted about mindless conversation. Although this didn’t go unnoticed by the poor roommate Lara just ditched, her blood seemingly boiled seeing the two of you.

Not only had Lara managed to bag another girl that Megan had wanted, but the fact that she ditched her was the icing on top. And lord knows Megan wasn’t just gonna let that slide, the ginger hooked her handbag over her shoulder and walked over to the two girls. Angrily plopping a seat on your right side, shooting Lara a dangerous look before persuading the bartender to get her any beverage he could conjure up. Honestly the desi girl couldn’t care less, but she was amused by the Hawaiian and her antics, so she continued to shoot her shot at you.

“You know… you’re absolutely stunning— has anyone told you that?” She complimented, bringing her hand up over to the edge of a strand of hair, twirling it for a moment before pulling away.

Before you could speak, the bartender handed you an espresso martini that you never ordered, “Oh! Uhm sir this isn’t mine…” You mumbled as you raised the glass towards him, the ginger girl who sat next to you spoke up.

“It is yours.” The girl laughed, “I ordered it for you, pretty.” She giggled pointing at the glass and then pointed at herself, “You look like someone who’d enjoy a good cocktail.” Megan smiled as she raised her hand out to shake your hand, and you reciprocated the gesture. “Megan. And you?”

“Hah… thank you Megan… Gosh I feel so popular today.” You joked, referring to the two girls who suddenly started talking to you, your back faced to Lara as she glared into Megan’s soul, mentally cursing her out for ruining the perfect moment. Megan laughed at your witty response, looking at Lara, sticking her tongue out playfully before focusing back to you.

“I wouldn’t doubt it you’re beautiful.” Megan slyly complimented, bringing her hand to your shoulder, leaving the redhead to scowl at her actions. “I second that.” Lara butted in, bringing her hand onto your other shoulder.

“Haha…” You laugh awkwardly sensing the tension between the two girls, before jerking your head over to the entrance of the club, watching two familiar silhouettes. Your best friend— well ex best friend and her new boyfriend— YOUR BOYFRIEND hand in hand, with no care in the world. “Shit!” You shouted to yourself, catching the two girls off guard as you ducked down to hide your face. The whole reason you came to these clubs to drink your heart out was because of them, and now they were out here ruining your perfect ‘sanctuary’.

“Y/n! Are you okay?” Megan spoke up as you hid your head onto the counter. “No!”

[sweettoothbadger]

Day 2

Mirage x reader

Have anybody say a few months ago that you'll be head over heals in love with an alien bot creature, you would laugh (and call the hych yard on them). Had it happened and you would say that this person is crazy ad move on forgetting about it next Monday. And even there was such a possibility, you defentely would not be crushing on the smaggest fratboy of the bunch. Or what was the point in avoiding all those traps in university only to end up in one set by the spoiled mechanical giant.

Yet here you are, face to face (though more like face to peds) with a silvery-blue cybertronian who is yet again trying to foist you some kind of alien substance.l

-Take it, c'mon don't leave a good mech stranded.

Mirage bended slightly movingg his servos closer to your tiny frame. Some really bright poisonous-coloured object, slightly reminding you of a small star was .... Yep, definetely deadly for you.

-Listen, er, Mirage... I don't think that it's safe for me to even be near this stuff... no matter what is it even.

-Please, ..., you have no idea what I promissed Hound for it! Why don't you take it?

-Raj, it's not that-

-So you do really hate me, ha?

-I..-What?

You finally looked away from the alien object to lift your eyes to meet his. For a second, you thought you did not hear him correctly, but the crustfalled expression on the hooligan showed that he said exactly what you thought he did.

-Raj, I like you very much, actually. It's just that I am more than sure that this thing is even more dangerous for me than those cubes of energon you showed us. Remember?

The bot did not know where too look, too caught up in the sence of overwhelming foolishness and embarrecement.

-I mean... C'mon, give your bot a break! You humans are just unnececcery tricky all the times! How should I know that?!

Is was almost too entertaining to see him skrimish. Always so cocky.

-Oh? Are you now ''my bot''? My-my...

He sputtered but in a second was face to face with you. Bright optics filled with some kind of strange fondness and speks of mischief. He was practically purring: - Well, of course, my meteor. Always.

You felt as your whole body overheating from a rizing temperature, suddenly shy and unable to meet his gaze. That made the culprit of your misery smirk smugly. Oh, this damn smirk. You were tempted to say you hate it, but even on the inside, you could not bring yourself to. Damn, you were deep in.

[yunazxxx]

hi poowkie , iM not sure if your reqs are even open yet BUT i would love to put the idea of yandere!lara CAUSE YOU WRITE YANDERE SO WELL like PLEASE ITS SOO GOOD ANHWAYS MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVE YOU MWAMWAAA

pairing ≫ lara rajagopalan x daniela avanzini

cw ≫ kidnapping , stalking , psychotic behavior , smut towards the end , choking , spit , spanking , bondage , bdsm , college au , gp!lara , lara’s obsessive and possessive , she's also not anyone's peace ,, etc maybe?

wc ≫ well over 4.1k

an ≫ okay you kinda provoked this one also not a much as sophia's which i apologize for!!!! still like previously stated with my last fic with such context in no way shape or form am i normalizing or romanticizing or even promoting this behavior without any consent behind it. — also happy holidays!! — ps not proofread and i’m SORRY it took so long to answer this i started writing it as soon as i saw your ask but my attention span is shit — pps my recs are open jst they take a while to answer!!

—

the day in school was so simple, and boring, it was the same lecture everyday because someone just so happeded to miss the previous day. lara sighed as the teacher just yapped his mouth on and on, while she looked out the window just to see nothing.

it was never anything outside of the classroom window but fuck was it better than looking at this guy's face everyday like she had to. she was unimpressed like she always would be literally every other time she’d look outside.

lara turned her head, now meeting face to face with the teacher. "and, lara.." he started, she looked up at him. the guy really got under her skin, he was always on her back for the smallest shit for no reason at all.

"uh huh?" she replied, "why were you looking out the window." he asked, "why is your hair line receding?" she snapped back at him, too quick to even think about what she said before the words spilled out of her mouth.

the red haired woman quickly covered her mouth, a slight panic washing over her while he looked at his student in disbeilef.

"is this how you would like to start your day, ms. raj?" the teacher asked, and she shook her head no. she wasn't scared of the guy but if she got suspened again she would defintely get expelled so she had to watch what she said and how she said it.

lara grabbed her bags and made her way out of the classroom, saying some bullshit excuse why she had to go and why she needed nearly everything she brought into class. as she walked down the hallways, she came across someone who i haven't seen in a while.

"lara! hi!" her light voice rang through the hallways, "daniela!" she said and hugged the girl, it had been a while since we last seen each other and even spoken at that. apparently she transfered over to this school because it was cloest to her current place of resisdence.

we talked a little while until we heard the staff walking down the hallways, and lara practically jetted down away from her. for some reason she couldn’t get the blonde out of her head though, as she walked down the halls she continued to think about her scent, how bright her eyes showed, how beautiul she looked, and so much more.

she made it to the bathroom and sighed to herself, finding the entire situation kind of odd. see, lara’s known daniela a while, a few years really. they used to be inserperable until she had exchanged schools then as time went on they began to distance more and more.

but now seeing her, she looked so, attractive. lara tried shaking the thought, that's her friend, she can't think about her in such a way, as she walked down, making her way to her locker but it still wouldnt leave my mind.

nothing about her left lara’s mind to be honest, she was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't notice the time. it was time for break, meaning she just skipped two of my lectures for the day.

fuck apparently time goes by faster when thinking of you.

she hurried and put her stuff away before running to the break area. now, weirdly, her school didn't care where they went just as long as they made it back to campus on time.

and well, to say the very least they’d always use that to their advantage. lara sat on the sidelines, waiting for her friends to come outside and she spotted daniela again, this time she was walking and talking with a few friends.

now, against her better judgment, which was was almost nonexistent, she followed the girl. lara just stayed a few feet behind, she wasn’t sure what made her but she started taking pictures of the blonde. by the end of the first break she had over thirty pictures of her.

the rest of the day was really boring and she had the option to leave, just to the dorms if she had a good excuse and with that excuse she was able to get home but word gets around our school, really quick.

while lara walked to her dorm, she looked at all of doors, “huh, seems like this may be hers" lara said and just peaked around. the redhead had to hurry and run off before someone saw, running to her own dorm. once she got in, she closed the door behind herself and began searching up the girl.

it started, slow? simple, whatever. lara knew her social media already, because of their history and she found all of them. lara went through all her posts, looking at them, "seems you haven't changed a bit."

she took some screenshots of the girl's profile but again, she did not know why. lara didn't feel any certain way about the girl but looking at her made her feel, very, she couldn't explain it in words. but, lucky for her, she just so happended to add to her story.

after a little while, lara checked the story, seeing her entire trip to the campus and when she was able to get her dorm, and she was lucky. lara zoomed in and saw exactly what dorm she was in. now, normally she would have just walked up to the girl and asked her for the dorm number and etc but it slipped her mind.

lara contined to do more rearch on the girl, her curiostity getting the best of her, wanting to know where she's lived these last few years and exctly how active she's been in her older schools or communities etc.

she found pretty much everything she needed, and turned off her computer. she kept everything open, having different mental, phyiscal and online notes about the girl. lara decided to call it a night, locking and closing everything up.

the red haired woman went to sleep that night, satisfied with what she found. she couldn't excatly sleep that night becaused a thought kept coming over her mind. who has she dated ever since she left? okay yeah, they were never together to begin with but fuck she was a pretty girl, the best looking one in their city at that, so just fucking think how many other girls and guys might've made their advances to her.

lara was tossing and turning all night, the only thing she was able to make the sense of the situation, she needed the girl all to herself, not even allowing her to be with friends, or anyting.

lara decided to sleep, give it time to settle in and think about if she actually want to go through with this. lara woke up the next morning, her mind running wild like she just took some energry advancers. she got ready that day, bailing out on classes to go to the stores.

that night she was going through with it, and she knew how it sounded, she didn't have to exactly kidnap the older but she also can't just invite her over to the dorm, especially since the warden never sits his ass the fuck down and let's them have whoever we want over.

but she didnt care, and just let it go. she drove her car to the first store, supplies. lara brought the note she had written the previous night, going inside of the store and purchasing some ropes, cuffs, a blindfold, tape, and other things.

then she made her way over to another place, getting a bag and that was really it, lara hid the stuff in her car, driving down to her personal home and setting up everything. lara did it as quick as her body allowed it, knowing the girl would be getting her break soon.

lara didn't finish with one thing but she didn't care, she just wanted daniela way too fucking bad. lara got in her car and sped to the campus, and she slowed down as her car got closer, spotting the girl out among the crowd. lara honked her horn, grabbing almost evryone's attention.

daniela recognized lara's car faster than she expected her to, but she ran down the hill to her car. her smile was so bright, she didn't even notice she was already in front of her car by the time she came back to my senses.

she looked at lara innocently, 'why are you here today? i thought you were sick!" she said, but lara didn't say any words but instead tapped the seat in her car. she looked at her hand, the back at me.

and that's when she knew girl didn't pick up on what she wanted, "get in, i wanna show you something" i said.

she quickly obliged. she hurried and sped off once she was in the car, but it wasn't out of the ordinary because she always drove like this and dani was pretty much used to it.

lara drove past the school's campus, making her way to her house. her and daniela talked like it was a casual day, they made it to her house pretty fast, and she parked in her grage. lara looked at the girl, placing her hand on her thigh.

"i'm sorry" she softly said, causing her to chuckle nervously, "why are you sorry, lara?" she asked, and she put her hand over daniela's mouth as fast as she could and grabbed the ropes from bend her seat and tied her wrists. "this"

lara said, getting out of the seat, running to the other side to grab the girl, she pieced off some tape and wrapped it around her mouth before she got to scream. she struggled in her arms for a bit bfore finally letting lara take her inside, lara had to basically drag the older inside her door.

it was broad daylight outside, lara was lucky no one saw her. she closed the door behind herself and she put the girl inside her room. lara chained her wrists to her bed frame, she didn't rip the tape from her mouth but seeing her eyes, filled with so much fear for some reason made her more content with this.

lara contiuned her way outside turning her car off and grabbing everything that belongs to daniela and making her way back inside the place. she made her way upstairs, back to her bedroom. she saw her there, on her knees, but they were locked together.

she already looked so exhausted. but the afternoon had barely begun, lara crouched in front of her. her eyes quickly filled with plead, as she whined to the younger, hoping she'd take the tape off. "it'll come off, as long as you promise not to scream?" lara said to the blonde woman, and she nodded eagerly, and she slowly removed the tape off of her lips -

and almost in an instant, she began to scream for help. she pressed her hand agaist her throat, lara's other hand flying over her mouth. "shut the fuck up" the redhead whispered in her ear. "don't make another fucking sound." she warned her.

lara could hear her squeak under her, her voice barely coming out. reality set in and she finally let go and the girl was panting, "f-fuck.. okay" she said, her voice was already sounding hoarse. she held the girl's cheeks, her finger and thumb pressing into her cheeks. "you're gonna follow every last order i give you, do you understand?" she asked, as she tighten the grip, until she could hear a small "yes" from the girl so she let go.

"there's a smart girl" she praised her, gently moving some of the hair from her face.

"you look so pretty, come on, didn't you miss me?" she asked her, but she didn't look up at me. "danii" she said, but she still didn't look at her. lara's not sure what came over her, she was normally really calm but she grabbed the girl again, this time much more aggresive than she did before.

she could hear her slightly whince in pain, and she quicky let her go. she didnt want to hurt the girl, not in that sense, not at all. in that moment, she remebered thst she was bonded by the wrists to her bed. laraset the younger girl free, allowing the freedom to move her arms as she wanted.

she stayed on the ground, her arms just fell beside her. lara held her chin between her index finger and thumb, wiping over older's lips before gently kissing her. she returned the kiss, her lips moving against mine with the same amount of passion.

the kiss was sweet and short, she picked daniela up, putting her down on her lap. lara broke the kiss, but she brought her into another, her arms wrapping around lara's neck while lara's own wrapped around her waist.

she moaned slightly into the kiss, her body pressing against lara's more and more as the seconds passed. they broke off for a few seconds, the red haired woman began kissing away at her neck, marking the girl up nice and gently.

she left endless hickeys there, kissing down to her chest, as the need grew, she began grinding her hips on lara's crotch, causing her cock to slowly get harder by the second. it didn't take much longer to speed up, she panted into the kiss, her moans and movements getting needier as her erection grew.

lara halted her hips, earning a whine from the girl, "please, need you so bad.." she begged her, trying to move her hips but to no avail. "are you sure you want this? we can wait" lara said, but daniela nodded yes, the need being obvious. lara moved one of her hands to pull the girl into a deeper kiss, they fought for dominace for a while but she quickly gave up, allowing lara full access to her mouth.

lara tasted every corner of her mouth, now guiding the older's hips, lara rocked her against her boner, she praised the girl as her sped her hips up. listening to her whines pick up by the second, after a while they broke the kiss, she now began to focus on making her ride her thigh, watching as she fell apart on it.

"oh you poor thing" lara said while her skirt was doing her no justice. she could feel her slick through her panties.

lara began giving fake sympathy to the blonde woman, only making her whines pick up faster. she continued to praise the girl, watching as her eyes rolled back, until her head fell right on her chest while she allowed her to do whatever she wanted with her.

she raised her hand up, sliding past the girl's shirt, up her shirt, in fact, and she began groping her breasts through the fabric of her bra.

the girl began rocking faster, getting herself off on lara's thigh now. she reached her hand down, to her clothed clit, and rubbed quick circles, pulling the blonde into a quick orgasm, watching as her hips spasmed, and rutted against her.

lara pulled her shirt over her head, quickly removing her bra as well, she left her skirt on and lara began working on her panties. she simply slid them to the side, feeling her arousal already dripping down from her cunt, she lifted the girl by her hips and lowered her on her fingers, feeling her wet warmth engulfing lara's fingers completly.

she curled them fingers inside of her, listening to her whines and whimpers turned into moans and even louder ones as she fucked herself on lara's fingers. she forced the girl to hold eye contact with her while she did so, and she obeyed.

the aching and strain in lara’s pants became worse and worse by second, she felt her cock throbbing through her jeans. she flipped the older over, slamming her down on the bed, laying her on her back.

lara began attacking her neck, having enough of this stupid foreplay. she pulled her skirt and panties off in the same motiton, getting a blindfold and wrapping it around her eyes. "n-no no please.." she tried pleading with her younger but she still continued with my actions.

lara got off the girl after tying the blindfold, grabbing the cuffs and began to bond her back the bed. "h-hey please? too much" she whined, "sorry baby, you're mine, all mine" lara replied, hooking the handcuffs back to her bed post.

she slowly spread the girl's legs, taking her time and softly touching the girl, she started from her throat and made her way down with planting small kisses, lara left beautiful purple marks on her skin while she made her way down her body.

she arched her back at every touch from lara, already falling into a trance. she continued peppering her kisses until she made it to her waist, and then she stopped.

lara stood up, admiring her work. she began to remove her clothes, her cock sprung from her jeans and slapped against her abdomen.

it stood long and tall, her tip red from the need with drops of precum dripping down. she slowly inched her way closer to the blonde girl, completely ignoring the aching need for her cock to receive any type of attention.

she walked up beside daniela and rubbed her thumb across her face, stopping at her lips and puling the down, "open up for me" she said and she obliged. lara gently pushed her cock inisde of her mouth, just until she felt her slightly gag on it.

she gently moved her hips inside of daniela’s throat while she was below her , pulling out and each time she pushed another inch inside of her throat. she hollowed out her cheeks, allowing her to slide in and out mch easier. it didnt take long before lara’s pace picked up, her mouth around her cock felt amazing.

she thrusted deeper into her throat, her moans sendings vibrations around her shaft, and with the sight of her cock in her mouth, along with her well she would suck her off, lara came faster than expected. she shot rope after rope down the older’s throat. she would continue to thrust gently, to drag her orgasm out, but of course her cock didn't soften, why would it?

she made her way back down to between the girl's legs, getting a view of the pool and mess she's made on the bed. she only cooed to the blonde woman, standing over her and began cupping her cheeks while she slowly slid her cock on her clit.

she slowly began thrusting her hips to give them more friction, holding herself down against her clit with her thumb while her hips took off. slowly her room began getting filled with the sound of wetness and their moans.

lara kept up with this pace for a while until she “accidentally" penetrated the girl -

"fuck, you're tighter than i thought baby." lara gritted through her teeth, not even half of her cock fitting inside of her. she gave the girl time to adjust to her size, it took only a few minutes, pushing herself in genlty and pulling out as soft as she possibly could.

"god y-you're so big" she moaned out, while she pushed more of herself in, soon lara started bulging out of her stomach. she stayed idle once she was full inside of the older girl, actually giving her enough time to adjust -

which was the hardest thing ever for lara, her walls clenching around her while she dripped arousal down repeatedly. she retracted her hips out slowly, while it twiched, every detail she could feel getting dragged out of her cunt until it was pushed back in.

she made her thrusts nice and slow, deep and shallow, so the girl could feel her better, and did she. she was the loudest lara had heard her during this entire time, the cries she'd let out, the way she moaned for the redhead, begging for more or for her to be rougher wth her.

while she fucked her, lara leaned down to kiss her, her legs were locked around her waist, pushing her deeper inside of her to the base. she was already such a mess, and lara sat herself up, continuing with the same pace while she snaked her arm up and wrapping her hand around daniela’s neck, applying enough pressure to begin choking her.

she stopped for a moment, taking her blindfold off before she started again, watching how cute she looks while pantng, lara only picking up on pace and fucking her faster and harder. their hips slammed against each others in a quick motion.

lara retracted her hand, but speeding her hips up, feeling completely intoxicated by the feeling of how she clenched around her.

lara degraded and praised the girl in the same sentence, while she used her, kissing her. she even made her hold eye contact with her, watching as she thrusted inside of her cunt.

lara pulled out for a bit, then slammed back inside of her, switching up her pace and rhythm again and thrusting inside of her deeply.

each time she would hit a certain spot, daniela would claw at her back, her moans would get higher. her legs locked tighter, begging her for more while she picked up the pace slightly.

soon the girl came again, coating lara with her cum. lara chuckled and slowed her pace, brutally slow, dragging her orgasm out as long as she physically could. feeling her walls clamp around her cock made holding her orgasm a bit harder but she wanted to do something more, feel something more.

soon lara continued to thrust inside of the girl, holding her thighs above her shoulder now and brutally fucking inside of her, she wouldn't even pull out half her shaft before slamming it back in. her moans were quick to pick up, all the small whimpers were pretty much nonexistent.

the need for her grew more and more as time progressed, the way she would clench would make her feel intoxicated, her shaft continued twitching inside of her.

she sped up her thrusts, the burning sensation in lara’s abdomen telling her to stop but she was far too close, lara held daniela’s hips in place while she pistoned into her.

her orgasm caught up rather quickly, causing her to fill the girl up with her load, pumping rope after rope inside of her.

she slowly thrusted, making sure every last bit was inside of the girl before pulling out. lara sat and watched as it slowly trickled out of the girl, right onto the sheets but they’ll care about that some other day.

after a while lara took the cuffs off the girl, removing them from the bed. she discarded them somewhere, and she quickly clung onto her. she held her chest close to her face while she tried to even her breathing.

lara rubbed his palm against her back, in circles to help her breathing better. she would hold onto her for a good while, just until she felt it was enough then she stopped.

she broke apart from lara’s chest, her eyes were hooded and she was pretty much incoherent. lara played in her hair a bit, laying the girl across her lap.

gently cooing to her, she held daniela’s head, pushing her hair out of her face and kissing her.

after she fixed her hair, she shuffled off the bed and retrieved her clothes, just her under clothes and she slid one of her shirts on the blonde.

lara began to gently speak to her, comforting her like she didn't just kidnap her a few hours ago. she wouldn't really say many words back, but she was sure until curiosity got the best of her.

"lara?" she asked, her voice still just as low and soft as before, "yes?" she softly replied, a stupid smile plastered on her face while she cuddled the girl.

"why did you, you know" she asked, not wanting to repeat but she could hear the slight hesitation in her voice, lara reassured the girl and explained to her why its happened.

she would only nod against her chest in response, and soon she could hear her small snores while she slept. she just kissed her head, "welcome home, baby" she softly said and continued rubbing her back.

[torantuga]

are.you.an.angel..

I've been looking for AleNoah as dads my entire life man!!! You're like.. sent from above!!

..

wait how did they get MK then..

did Noah and Emma have MK then divorce, and then Noah gained custody..or is she just adopted..

I don't know if you mind me doing this but like,

I like to imagine :3.. that Aleheather broke up and Nemma actually got married but divorced so then MK is just like..there. Then boom Noah and Alejandro meet again and they're like "btw did you know in World Tour I loved you" "fr!? Me.me too!" "do you wanna get married" "yea!!!!"

yea. (I may have gotten Raj into the mix..bleh.)

Wow this is incredibly long sorry about that drink water and have a lovely day!!!!!

-⏰

OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY MAY IR MAY HAVE NOT MADE A CHART THAT EXPLAINS THE AU THANKS TO THIS ASK (IN MY EYES) !!

i personally dont like the idea of the women in the respective relationships abandoning the men to let them be gay w each other, esp since so many people that write similar things end up making emma just straight up abandon the family cause of stress. its way too convinient yknow, jst my opinion, and it makes emma look bad (which shes way too awesome) i think she would be very close w the mudaliar-burromuerto family but as a close friend/honorary aunt sorta way.

but your idea of the au is cool! i like it.

this is kinda of like a long answer to your question being like. how did they have mk.....

okay so.

how did they end up together? i inspired myself from a fic that is literally just noah being alejandro's only visitor in the hospital post-WT. they become friendly and, since the burromuerto family sees alejandro as an embarrassment for being too vulnerable and letting himself lose the million dollars in front of many people, leaving him being kicked out, they eventually end up moving together! its kind of a slowburn college romance if im being honest. and once theyre juniors/seniors in college, they end up getting together.

so. hooow do they adopt mk? since its from birth? wouldnt they be super young? EXACTLY

theyre young parents due to alejandro being pressured from his side of the family to at least get a child if he's going to keep being a failure. this hurts ale deeply and he genuinely starts to panic, thinking he should raise a kid as soon as possible. he manages to convince noah that its true baby fever and that they'll be wonderful parents, even though normally "ideal" parents marry and then have children.

they search for a while and eventually come across someone who was thinking of adoption whilst pregnant, and the three of them worked very hard to make it possible. so in 2007, MK is born, and adopted into the mudaliar-burromuerto family. (i do not know SHIT about adoption so i wont make much detail about it)

of course, not being married and having a child was also critizised, so they quickly married around a year or two later. (it took a while to cut the burromuerto family out of his life, but back then ale was very young and very easily manipulated by his family)

so, around 6 years later, they adopt another kid, which was already a year old, but who really didnt have a name. he was dropped off at an orphanage when he was around 6 months old, but he didnt seem to be registrated anywhere. ale n noah, curious, took on the role to foster care this kid and came up w a name for him, which alejandro chose, nicolás. they adopted him soon after

so yeah full story!!! may be susceptible to change!! wahoo!!

[mechanoize]

First of all, I love your most recent post, he looks so elegant

Second of all, I am very much intrigued, and would enjoy a ramble, if you are up to it :)

copy pasted from my other ask.. :P

BUT.. so basically what I had in mind was…

(big fat big ramble incoming…)

prowl is a sorta crime boss,, big guy, big name, big money yk. and so there’s this big ol’ masquerade getting hosted… not by him, he doesn’t care for them, but in his name. whole buncha other big name guys are there too, ‘nd OUUUU jazz is an enforcer who specializes in undercover work. he recently got transferred to praxus yk. and this is his first real dangerous assignment.

hes done lotsa research, he’s a smart guy. and so they set it up so he’s working as a lead singer for a little live music/entertainment sector of the masquerade. he was meant to be in the least compromising position, whereas Mirage was actively invisible and snooping around the premises, and Tracks was meant to act as a distraction more than anything, keep the attention more so on her. (I need to design her so bad for this,, and ‘raj :P )

but worst comes to worst, Jazz ends up being a little bit TOO good at his job and many mecha are attracted to the music he and others are providing. causes complications, of course, but jazz is quick to reassure they’ll be fine. and they can’t really withdraw, because Jazz is too far cemented into the scene at that point.

the night draws to a close and there’s a sort of (probably traditional) dance that Prowl is kinda forced into. Not really, there isn’t many people who can force him to do anything, but a little but of persuasion from bluestreak and he crumbled. He didn’t have anyone TO dance with, and though not an inherently romantic performance, it’s still.. demeaning, in his eyes. Too much so to do it with anyone familiar.

so he chooses a partner at random, and as per protocol, many if not all the mechanisms present at least loosely knew the choreography. jazzs commlink is on fire, they think oh crap, our guys cooked. we didn’t know OR cover this. but surprise,, Jazz loves culture, loves learning. he loves dancing, music and all that stuff, and though he didn’t learn it to benefit his mission, he knew it. HOORAY!

so that’s settled, and it goes better than anyone (mainly prowl) could have imagined.

this is getting too long but Prowl is also smart. He actually is very much aware of Jazz and Track’s position, and he’s ran into his cities law enforcement many a time. he’s started threatening, yk, trying to shake them off. not because Prowl is hiding some big twisted secret, but because their enforcers are being met with increasingly harsher repercussions when caught within his vicinity. hes trying to spare them the trouble. they’ve also never even gotten close to uncovering anything beneath prowls jurisdiction so 😭 but they keep trying. And prowl is genuinely baffled that they keep sending their agents directly into danger, and this was their dumbest idea to date.

Because Prowl had known from the moment they stepped ped in the venue, and the bots present were not all dumb. And to be uncovered would result in things that not even he could stop, lest he shatter his own reputation. And that is something he’s unwilling to do; he has mechanisms of his own to protect.

so Prowls actions are all calculated, and he sorta has an idea to fake a liking towards Jazz and book him again, the following orn. Implications get twisted, yeah, but he just wants to speak to him one on one so he can relay a message to his superiors, tell them to back off cus though he is merciful many others are not.

Jazz sees this as an opportunity. and with little input, he accepts. of course, immediately reprimanded, but not discouraged. the mechs overseeing his mission see this as a needed win. a chance to finally crack down on the crime empires or whatever, starting at the heart of it all, Prowl.

ILL CUT IT SHORT NOW but !!! Prowl makes Jazz aware of it all, Jazz is like holy moly. And at that point Jazz is too involved for Prowl to send him on his way and forget so he sorta keeps an eye on him, something Jazz is more than aware of.

yaddah yaddah more interaction that i do have ideas for but are not major enough to send here 😭

+ a bonus wip sketch! very messy rn but I’ll actually render this one when i get the time LMFAO

[treason-and-plot]

Further Replies to Raj and Mia and An Attempted Explanation of Their Dynamic

(Replies to comments made on this post)

@coreene-simblr

I take back what I said in the previous post. Fuck you, Kaleb. I am getting some vibes from Raj though. I feel like he likes Mia a lot more than he's letting on

Raj has never forgotten Mia's loyalty towards him when he was in jail. It was one of the darkest times of his life and most of his former friends and colleagues deserted him but Mia didn't. He knows Mia is in love with him but he also will never forget her kindness and yes, he does love her for that. He also loves her candour, her complete lack of guile and her ability not to take herself too seriously. She is no match for him intellectually though, nor does she fit his physical type...like Roy, Raj is attracted to sophisticated brunettes.

@muses-circle

Raj is giving me whiplash, going from looking like a possessive asshole to an asshole father figure. Pretty sure Mia is gonna crush on him even harder now.

Do long term readers remember what happened to David when he tried to sexually abuse Mia...and also what happened to his ex-wife Naomi's abusive stepfather?? Raj has a moral code that is all his own. He will do his damndest to protect those who are in his inner circle.

@zosa95

Kaleb is a jackass! Good riddance! That said, Raj is one too… but I think perhaps he has a tiny soft spot for Mia in that shriveled, frozen heart of his? Cookie would shit kittens if that is true.

He values Mia both as a loyal friend and an employee....as detailed above, she was one of the few who didn't desert him while he was in jail and he knows he can always rely on her. Cookie knows this very well and it's one of the reasons she dislikes Mia so much. She's very jealous of their history and the fact they've been friends for so long.

@mysimsloveaffair

Nanette giggling made me giggle too. lol Why do I have the feeling that Raj is in love with Mia too?

'In' love might be a bit strong...but he definitely loves her as a friend. I think this is something that not even Julia and others in his inner circle fully appreciate.

[yamujiburo]

hiya again yam! i can't think of any hanamusa stuff to ask/talk about currently, so i've decided to ask about one of the shows you work on! i have a few (extended) family members who like the show, and by extension, i've caught much more than a few episodes (i always think of hanamusa when i hear the theme LOL)! (it's big city greens)

my question is... 1) who's your favorite character if you have one? (the dad is very goofy imho he is fun)

and 2) (idk if this is NDA-able or not so if it is please feel free to disregard LOL) did the scriptwriters consult you for gloria's parents speaking jp in the episode where she was like, showing off her 偽物の life to her parents? i'm always interested in hearing about the processes writers go through in including different languages in shows, especially kids' ones... *especially* in confirming that it's accurate enough which is why i ask. bc tbh i feel like it's pretty rare to have that in the end? we bare bears had lots of korean speaking characters in it iirc but that's one of the only shows that comes to mind.

thanks!!! o/ (ps: i think it'd be really funny if lisia pokemon met tr james and talked about fashion or something!with him just as a fun lil friendship rarepair, this may be a Bad Idea but in a fun crackfic-y way??? maybe i need to write this .)

I have a few! I love Tilly, Nancy and Tracy hehe (i won't say bella bc that's cheating

Early on, we didn't have scripts because we were a board driven show haha. There's been a few times in my own episodes where I'd throw in Japanese. Then for Rent Control (the episode you're talking about) my friend Raj, who boarded on that episode just came to me for some line suggestions! There's a whole language department though so everything goes through them when the final script for records is generated!

[castawavy]

November Save MEGA summary (part 2)

before / next

hope you all enjoyed the previous summary, it was a nice walk down memory lane for me 😁❤ anyways let's just jump into the next one

so basically overall steve was really HATING working at Hogan's but June was just doing really well in general (enough to be the main earner in the household essentially so steve was able to quit his job)

june attempted to wingwoman raj again because things didnt really work out with kamala... LMAO

on friday she took a day off and decided to go for a job interview to join an in-house legal team

and very quickly she learned shed got the job 😁🤸‍♀️💖

on monday she let her manager Margot know she was resigning and officially handed in her resignation to the boss, boss, Jared. they were all super happy for her, and june was grateful to have had a good time working with them all

THEN, after that she visited her mom for awhile (who lives in Brindleton Bay, and caught up with her without steve or the kids)

that same weekend it was adelaide's birthday and they threw her a modest party (they are always paycheck to paycheck kinda ngl but june's recent job change / promotion means that things are getting better

bonus shot of the kids being EXTRA cute (they get on really well) 💖

very VERY soon after that, june attended a conference in Tartosa with her new team, which was a great chance to get to know everyone...

UNFORTUNATELY things got a bit flirty at the dinner 🌹😢 and the brunette guy behind june flirted with June and she did it back 😵 and yeah... nothing else happened but YIKES. my interpretation of june is honestly that she got a taste of what her life could have been like, without steve... the kids... bills etc, and she got a bit carried away by the glitz and glam of it all 🤷‍♀️ (sorry I do like my sims to have flaws, & like everyone else june is not perfect </3), but yeah as I said nothing else happened and june immedietaly felt AWFUL about it as she should (shes a loyal trait sim) 😘 but she did look stunning that night

when she got home it was extra bad as well because she had to face steve (and the kids) and it made he realise how lucky she had it, cuz steve also got her some champagne to celebrate her new job ☠😂

so... june confessed and told steve about what happened, and ngl even I was suprised he took it so well and was understanding + I think he appreciated she told him right away

also right after he mentioned marriage??? I think the two of them needed to talk about it cuz june always saw herself getting married I think and steve hadnt really considered it...

BUT YEAH drama / crisis averted AHAHAH sorry this seems really fast but I promise it had been brewing for some time - I think out of the two of them, unfortunately june is just a little bit more insecure than steve, because she has set so many expectations on herself & her mother growing up was very strict with her </3 overall I know she invisioned her life going differently, but when faced with that actual opportunity she didnt take it 😘❤🤸‍♀️

bonus picture of steve because we havent seen him for awhile now and hes gotten a lot healthier recently / working on himself and his mental health a bit (not quit smoking yet though) also raj came over and june seemed more like his best friend than steve because they were joking around so much 😂😂😂

also omg then adie had a bear phase...

😁 and that's a wrap for this summary but PHEW a lot of focus on june this time (I always love giving my sims really complex spouses)

before / next

[balrogballs]

Binged your beautiful writing yesterday after seeing the Eldarion post and I loooove your Maglor so much, but I was curious about your characterizing of Maedhros as a objectively good father especially in the modern AU, where Elrond says “would always find him under every starless sky” abt him not Maglor. Your kidnapfam is so nuanced otherwise, so Elrond being closer to Maedhros feels disjointed or unnatural. Idk, his trauma and actions =/= good parent. No hate, just question

NP I’ll answer in good faith!

Wondering what other fic you refer to since my other Maedhros narratives are set in Valinor and Elrond isn’t really the focus of either? Or are you just referring to the postcolonial one you quoted because in that case yeah the primary emotional thread there is between Maedhros and Elrond, so will answer with that in mind.

under the cut bc my flight got delayed and I used this ask as an excuse to write a whole ass essay so dont want to bore people.

Now you mention discomfort at this portrayal and a part of my intention to write Maedhros in such a way IS to cause discomfort. Now keeping in mind this is a historical AU set exclusively in the context of the British Empire, and the word “terrorist” as used here does not mean the same kind of mass violence as it does today, Elrond’s full sentence from the fragment you quoted is actually:

“His Baba the terrorist, who would always, always find him under every starless sky.”

Violence does not live in a vacuum. Violence and tenderness can and do exist hand in hand, especially when referring to Maedhros in this AU — the first chapter itself makes it clear that his act of “terrorism” was to blow off a policeman’s finger during mass police brutality.

That is why I thought it was important to show him as the more loving one in this fic, even though I’m aware that many fanworks put Maglor in that role — I wanted to unpack the legacy of that act and how it was labelled, which reverberates across decades and continents. Maedhros blew off a British policeman’s finger when they started shooting fleeing women. And the same Maedhros also found two British toddlers, the children of an official high up in the British Raj — and he and his brother took them in.

To quote Maedhros himself from one of my other (canonverse) fics:

"And so it is for cruelty and tenderness: the constant press of cruelty, seeking to erode away those moments with the boys, the tender little life we led. It may have ended in tragedy. I fear, though I don't know, that I may have succumbed to the wrong one. Still, tenderness endured, and as is ordinary in wars of attrition, it softened the edges of our cruelty, a patient defiance wearing down its edges. I am indeed cruel as you judge me, but less so than you think. Neither of us know which claimed victory at the end of the Age, cruelty or kindness. But know, boy, that I bear the marks of both."

I think the whole thing with kidnap fam is that every dynamic between them is entirely fanon — the text gives you close to nothing. So whether or not Maedhros is a “good” father is imo very subjective, because we know nothing other than the boys being taken in.

There are so many ways love can grow, equally many ways interpret its impact on a person. Some interpret him as being completely incapable of tenderness, some interpret it as little kindnesses sprouting from salted earth. And I personally interpret Maedhros here as a man who has a deep, all-encompassing love for his son, who when Elrond was young, knew without words that the child was afraid of the dark, so would quietly lay beside him on starless nights “until the lions and snakes all cowered under his thunderous heartbeat.” All the rest, his anger and resentment and crippling guilt, is foisted upon him by cruel circumstance.

I think that’s what I wanted to make clear. Maedhros in this AU is furious, hotheaded, traumatised, prone to violence against authority, is quite literally a flagellant. He is also Elrond’s Baba, “who would always, always find him under every starless sky”.

Hope this helps! Also honestly if you’re not cool or are uncomfortable with Maedhros being written in this way you genuinely don’t have to read it haha, because as I said above, his and Elrond’s relationship — in all its messiness, gaps, incoherencies — is the primary focal point across the story and is what connects all the disparate narratives together.

I love writing him as tender! I love writing a Maedhros whose innate and incredible capacity for love is constantly worn down by the world, yet still finds a way to exist.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #39 – Inglorious Empire: What the British Did To India by Shashi Tharoor

I honestly forget who first recommended this book to me – quite possible I just googled ‘good indian history books’ and found it that way? - but it’s been on my TBR list for functionally forever at this point. Which meant I went into it essentially blind, with no memory of what if any details I’d been given with the recommendation. Which meant I had a moderately disappointing reading experience just because I was hoping for a narrative history and not an explicit polemical/persuasive text. Still, taken on its own merits as one of those, it’s really quite a good one.

The book is an adaptation and expansion of a performance the author gave at an Oxford debate (arguing against the notion that the British Empire was a good thing) which was recorded and went viral enough to make it a commercially viable prospect. The origin story shines through in the form – aside from an introduction and conclusion, each chapter is a clear and specific argument against some specific justification offered for the British conquest and colonization of India, full to bursting with statistics and quotations buttressing every point.

I would very much like to say that most of it is devoted to stuff the average reader will know anyway (if illustrated with clear and affecting examples), but, going by the apparent public response to the original debate and some polling cited in the conclusion, apparently not! The YouGov polls about the English public’s knowledge and opinion of the Empire are bleak enough that yeah this probably is a direly needed work of public education, if mostly for people who will not at any point read it.

Still, the fact that the British Raj was explicitly and institutionally racist and reserved functionally all positions of real power and authority for white men shouldn’t be much of a surprise, nor the fact that the ‘rule of law’ was basically a sick joke as far as crimes across the colour line went, nor the fact that the extraction of wealth from India to make fortunes in Britain was the explicit goal of policy, nor the fact that resistance (especially resistance successful enough to spook the authorities) was responded to with utter and excessive brutality. All that is basically the meat of what having been a colony means.

That said, I was taken a bit aback by the sheer rapaciousness of early Company government – it’s one thing to hear about oppressive taxation, another to get quoted the census figures of how they were so extreme that enough peasants fleeing their land and homes to look for greener pastures to show up as overall population decline in the areas under HEIC control. Similarly, my understanding of how India was turned into a captive market for British goods was much more subtle and indirect than the outright smashing of looms and legal prohibition of any attempts to compete with British industries that were actually used.

Whereas I did know about the deadly famines that kept occurring throughout the Raj, but the sheer cartoonish malevolence of colonial authorities when faced with them always manages to shock me a bit. ‘Nature’s solution to overpopulation’ was a really horrifyingly opinion at the time.

The audience of the debate performance the book’s based on definitely shines through in the choice of sources – wherever possible, Tharoor quotes from or cites western (Anglo-American, generally) sources for his eye-witness accounts and always takes care to introduce and ground them in terms of western governments or academia. The quotes themselves are all helpful illustrations, though there’s probably slightly more than are really strictly necessary – I’m pretty sure by wordcount at least a chapter of the book was actually written by Will Durant.

I’m not sure if it’s because of the original format or just how Tharoor writes, but the book also just has a great love of adjectives. Seemingly every source referenced is ‘historic’ or ‘path-breaking’ unless it is merely ‘compendious’ or outright ‘invidious’. Not a bad thing, but once I noticed it I was totally unable to stop doing so.

The book is straightforward polemic and Tharoor makes no bones about his position, so I take his verging-on-idyllic descriptions of pre-colonial Indian governance (especially regarding land tenure and caste) and the probability that India would have unified into a modern nation state without colonialism a dose pour of salt. There’s a few other inaccuracies I noticed (referring to the East India Company’s theft of Chinese tea plans as the ‘birth of agricultural espionage), for example), but it was all in the realm of little asides or colourful anecdotes rather than anything load-bearing.

It is rather funny that the book repeatedly draws comparisons with French colonies to argue that India was worst off, on the grounds that Paris at least made gestures towards integrating Indochina or Algeria and their peoples into France (however inadequate and hypocritical those efforts were), whereas in India the maintenance of total domination and the clear policy that India and Indians were things to be exploited for the benefit of England never changed. Funny, because from the book of Vietnamese history I read a few months ago the perspective of nationalists in Indochina was quite the reverse, seeing the English as at least somewhat honest brokers who were willing to grant some level of (limited and inadequate) self-government, compared to the French. Grass is always greener, I guess.

Though that does get at Tharoor’s argument as to why the British were worse not just in degree but in kind to the Mughals and any other empire-builders from outside South Asia who had come before them. The Mughals became Indian, both in the simple material sense that all their taxes didn’t end up back in Samarkand and Indian merchants were intentionally ruined for the benefit of traditional central asia trade routes, and in the more cultural sense that the ruling class set down roots and intermarried with their subjects rather than establishing a cloistered ruling class. Instead, the Raj was more akin to Tamerlane’s sack of Delhi, extended across 200 years. (One gets the sense Tharoor thinks a permanent settler population moving into stolen palaces would have been preferable to the rotation of soldiers and officials arriving from the metropole for long enough to get rich before heading back to build mansions in the Home Counties.)

Also, speaking of Vietnamese history, I only have a sample size of two but it’s interesting how in both cases a class of liberal (in the western sense) intellectuals and bourgeois emerged who tried to take the colonial propaganda at its word and enter some sustainable partnership with the imperial power – and in both cases got at best ignored and at worst imprisoned, tortured and executed for their trouble.

Anyways, interesting read, if one that makes me want something more specific and rigorous about basically any specific section of it (though, not to jump up and yell ‘Canada Mentioned!’ but every time Trudeau was used as an example of a colonial power’s leader handling the apologizing and acknowledging stuff gracefully and well I had to really try not to laugh).

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 23rd April ✨

I’ve had such a better week this week and have enjoyed some truly jaw dropping audio drama!! 

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E12.5) Oh I love, love, love that the gang is getting back together but I hate, hate, hate the possibility that Riley and Julia are less interested in Leo and more interested in getting back inside that warehouse. Help, I just need them all to be happy 😭

I’m trying to be chill about having only FULL LENGTH episodes after the hiatus!!! What amazing news!! Also… Tell No Tales Patreon when? 👀

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (156) Someone tell Buck Silver that when a vampire raises the stakes, you have to raise yours!!! (For legal reasons, this is a joke, I want him to solve the case with minimal violence) I keep returning to my silly little theory that Riot is actually Dashell’s kid and side eye-ing that Valerie Maidstone look-a-like… AH. That whole scene with Vincent just knocked my socks off! ?Confirmed that it’s physically Vincent doing these horrible things, even if it’s Voltaire’s (?SOLOMON’S ?WHOEVER HE IS’) will. Raj overcoming his shock and fear to be so gentle makes me want to cry. If only this was the way that people were treated in real life 😭 I love this show so much 😭😭

🦀 @thesiltverses THIS IS HOW IT’S DONE!!!!!!!!! I don’t want to spoil the episode for people who haven’t listened (because I would be fuming if I got spoilers this late in the game) but I HAVE to share some out of context quotes that made me feel as though my heart was going to escape via my mouth. “… nobody will help me carry all of this, since I’m the only one holy enough to have earned the right.”

“All is as the water wills it. High tides and low"

“You know who I am. And yet you’re not running.” (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

“Sorry, old boy, I’m not going to be one of your saints.” 

🌊THE RIVER RISES🌊