#I love Pokemon. but this game just ain't it.

[hollowsart]

I still can't get over how much of a dirty scam the pricing is for Pokemon Masters. Like..

14,000 gems for 80 dollars? excuse me? who the crap is wasting their money like that on a game that barely has any real function as a game?

it's NOT worth it. AT ALL. you're not even fully guaranteed to get whatever character(s) you're aiming for with it.

if you want to do those 2 1-limit paid-only gems sync scouts they have rn you've have to pay $80 for the 10,000 you'll need since they're 5000 gems each. sure it sounds like a lot you're getting, but man. I don't think it's worth it.

I refuse to give this game my money. idk how people fall into this gacha scam. please save your money for something that's actually more useful and important.

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Hey so I know I ain't made a Big Review Post for a Yakuza game since, idfk, Kiwami 2? But figured I'd let yall know I finished 6 and have already started 7/Like A Dragon. Here are my thoughts:

Y6 fucking sucks, I'm mad as hell, and I'm quite frankly sick of our dear little dragon. But it's okay, because now I have Ichiban whom I love and adore and I will cherish him.

[destiny-smasher]

What do you like about Nemona

Gahhh, fuck me, that's a bit hard to summarize.

But I have been meaning to do a write up to explain it to people in my personal life. Maybe this is a good excuse to get around to doing so. I'll try to cover the important stuff while not getting as deep into specifics as I honestly could. It'll still be an informal short essay, though, lol

In Pokemon SV, the player enrolls in a fancy Academy on a remote island nation of sorts (inspired by Spain). They meet Nemona after choosing their starter Pokemon, and Nemona offers to the school's director to adopt a starter herself to 'coach/mentor' the player character. You see, unlike any other 'rival trainer' before her, Nemona is already a Champion. Before your character sets foot in the Paldea region, Nemona has already gone through the entire song and dance of Gym Battles and all that, and attained the highest rank a trainer can in the region. She's completely obsessed with Pokemon battling and has become bored of being 'the best' because no one wants to battle her, for various reasons. So she views you, a newcomer, as an opportunity to test herself as a 'mentor/senpai/big sis' figure as well as essentially 'New Game+-ing' herself for sheer love of the game that is Pokemon battling.

People consistently call her 'the girl Goku', but I ain't seen Dragonball Z, so I can't comment on that much. But she is a very enthusiastic, cheerful, determined, battle hungry person who is very into self-growth and self-improvement. At the end of the day, she wants a true rival, someone she doesn't need to hold back with, and who she can look to as a consistent figure in her life. She is very eager and hyperactive about connecting with people through battling.

A lot of people who play the game get offput by her, and she gets branded as a 'yandere' archetype (ie obsessed with the player character to a horror-inducing degree). She gets meme'd as being 'creepy' and 'obsessed' and all that, depicting her eagerness as mental illness and a bad thing.

(gif from a fan animation)

When her behavior stems from positive emotions and a desire for mutual growth and connection, not specifically ownership or possession -- to Nemona, a person who just obeyed whatever she would want of them would defeat the point. That's not what a rival does -- they push back, after all. Within the context of the SV plotline, she is bored of being Champion all by herself, and wants to train someone else to reach her same level, which is why she is so invested in you, the player character, following you around everywhere and being that 'big sis' archetype. There's some selfishness in there, for sure -- she wants a proper rival for herself, someone she never has to hold back with -- but given her social obligations and reputation within the Academy/region, she also I think wants to prove she is capable of handling herself as a mentor figure, prove to herself that she didn't become a Champion by luck or accident (if she can help someone else do what she did, then it wasn't just a fluke, she really does know what she's doing, etc.), and also help prove to her fellow students that she's really not as intimidating as they think she is.

And yet, people both in AND out of the game are quick to write this intense, protective behavior off as 'insane' and 'creepy' -- and as someone who very regularly got called a 'creep' through to the end of college for literally just trying to make friends,' I almost take it personally when I see people label Nemona as a 'yandere' type. It has its comical use and all but I still find it kind of hurtful in a way.

(Art by MagDraws)

Because that's the thing -- if you pay attention to what little story there is in SV (it's not exactly a complex narrative), Nemona's character is essentially a metaphor for neurodivergent/queer people who have hearts bursting with affection and passion for their hobbies yet who struggle with loneliness and isolation as they put off most people from keeping them around.

But at the end of the day, Nemona is just neurodivergent, her special interest is Pokemon battling, and she is simply desperate for human connection -- and battles are just the way she feels most comfortable doing that.

And the world would be a better place if people like me or Nemona were able to become self aware at a young enough age to start managing our behavior, (which she is shown to be learning to do!) while ALSO having a general population that is more open-minded and understanding to the idea that 'oh huh that person's brain is electrically overcharged and they love people and hobbies maybe way way more than I do but that's FINE as long as they're not hurting anyone'

As a youth, I just... kinda got great grades, made honor roll, etc. And it felt like I wasn't really trying? So adults around me thought I was 'gifted', or 'naturally talented'. But in reality, I think I was just neurodivergent, and since I struggled to make friends, and physically wasn't able to see them outside of school due to various factors, I just... ended up focusing on my schoolwork instead. So that's one way I relate with her retroactively -- she is a model student, yet ironically has a bad reputation amongst many.

(HOWEVER, Nemona comes from a RICH family and I came from a poor one, there was some big racial tension dynamics at play in my early gradeschool years, familial breakup shit, soooo there's some very different dynamics at play there)

Another thing I adore about her and connect with in a way no one else in my life does -- she loves one-on-one competitions with others through battles. I don't love physically fighting people, I'm a super non-violent person in reality. But I love fighting games, it's my favorite genre. And there's specific philosophical elements to enjoying fighting games that I think most people don't click with that she and I do.

She is here to GROW, to learn, to improve, to have fun regardless of winning or losing, because the act of spending time engaged with another person, figuring each other out, testing yourselves mutually, is enjoyable and edifying regardless.

That 'warrior's path' of self improvement and enjoyment and growth regardless of the outcome of battle is something I very much connect with and it's great to see a character who feels likewise while also having elements of interpersonal struggles in spite of or even because of the way she functions differently than other people. Again, I don't know much about Goku, but I get the impression he is good at making and keeping friends, while Nemona is bad at it.

On top of this, Nemona has extra wrinkles to her character -- she's physically disabled. The game is vague about it, as Pokemon always is. But she wears an arm brace because she throws a LOT of pokeballs with all the battling she does, and she seems to have some kind of issue there, physically. Also, despite how GOOD she is at battling, she is terrible at catching Pokemon, and seemingly at doing the exploration aspects of being a trainer. She canonically has poor stamina and wears herself out easily -- which, given how high-energy she is as a person, probably happens constantly. So it's also strongly suggested that she spends time not just training all of her Pokemon (she juggles multiple teams, yet another fighting-game esque thing I relate with, as I tend to juggle many characters and not stick to a single main or team), but she also trains herself, physically, to try and keep up with her 'mons, but also as a means of self-growth/improvement in general.

I won't post the examples but trust me, there are many subtle but intentional nods alluding to her being physically disabled, and being BAD at core elements of what we expect a Pokemon trainer to be -- exploring the wilderness, catching Pokemon, etc. But she's so passionate about it, she doesn't let her limitations stop her,

So it creates an interesting internal tension imo because she is not only very queer coded, very neurodiverse coded, but ALSO disabled coded. But she hides her internal struggles by essentially avoiding having to confront them, generally speaking (which itself is ripe for narrative development). Sadly, the game never brings this to a head in way (it's Pokemon, so of course it doesn't). But the ingredients are all there, especially when you add characters like Penny, Arven, and Scarlet into account -- as well as implied expectations from her rich family, or from the leader of Paldea, Geeta, who implies she wants Nemona to be her protege. And I haven't even mentioned that Nemona is Class President, meaning she's actively taking on social responsibility for her peers even though she gets shit talked behind her back for being so obsessed with battling and getting in people's faces with her over-eager desire to bond with/battle them.

This right here -- this is the specific core element of her character I personally connect with that, somehow, no fictional character I've met so far has put into the exact right words with enough context for me to believe them.

From my youth to even now as a full grown adult, I have experienced this feeling my entire life, whether with family, at school, at the workplace, even in most online spaces -- an 'invisible wall' between me and everyone else, and for a VERY LONG TIME I had convinced myself it was because something about me was 'broken' and 'not right'. But now, in part thanks to characters like Nemona, and the discussions around/about said characters, I can see that my brain just functions differently from other people, and a I grow and self-teach myself how to manage my own behaviors/expectations, I can better appreciate all kinds of relationships in life without needing to let go of or sacrifice that internal flame that used to threaten to consume most people I cared about -- that fear of being 'too much' or 'too intense' in my own ways (ways better expressed through text interaction than in person, to be fair, but again, MOST of my social life has been online my entire life, so yeah).

Like Nemona, I found people in my life who accept me for who I am, and blablabla all that cliche shit. But in Nemona, as I do with a rare few other characters in media (Vi from Arcane, Luz from The Owl House), I see a specific element of myself I don't elsewhere, and sadly did not see often growing up. A balance between ferocity and determination paired with unending affection and love. A desire to never give up on people, no matter what, and to be open to change both internal and in others. In Nemona's case, specifically, that element of neurodiverse passion matched with sheer loneliness -- that 'invisible wall'.

No matter what, she never gives up, in battles or socially.

I could go on into specific examples but I've said enough here to get the ideas across, I'm sure.

Oh, and as a sidenote, I think she has a great character design -- it's SIMPLE but recognizeable. The combo of color-coded gear (red/white/black, my favorite outfit color scheme), a arm brace, and accented hair. Her design feels like a plausible human being, but with a bit of 'anime bangs' syndrome.

I should probably mention -- I don't like Pokemon SV as a video game! I am like 160k words of fanfiction into telling a Pokemon story and I think the game itself is stinky garbage barely holding itself together with duct tape and a corporate prayer.

But unlike any other generation of the franchise, Pokemon SV presents a cast of characters with defined personality strengths, weaknesses, and varied backstories, who start the game as strangers, and by the end begin to dip their toes into 'found family' territory. For the first time in the entire franchise, I actually give a shit about the characters, about seeing them grow and connect with each other, because the overarching theme of SV's story, what little it has, is about isolation, outcasts, loneliness, and how found families form.

And Nemona's kind of the heart of all of that, the endlessly hopeful, energetic, eager one that will never give up on you, that irrationally throws affection at you, seemingly for no 'good reason' -- because just being a person who tolerates her and her 'too much'-ness is itself reason to be grateful for your presence in a world where she feels isolated from most everyone else simply by being herself.

Maybe this answers your question!

[opalisprocrastinating]

PMD Special Episode 0 Romhack: Secret Cutscene!

NOTE: This post will contain minor spoilers for the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky games as well as a romhack based off of it: Special Episode 0: In a Dark Past Well. This wasn't exactly what I expected for my first post, but I sure as hell ain't complaining! I'm making this post since I discovered something that I haven't seen posted anywhere, so I thought I might as well share it. Sorry if it's a little long! First off, a bit of context: Thanks to numerous fanart, I've begun playing a PMD romhack called Special Episode 0: In a Dark Past. It's a romhack of the Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky games specifically, delving deeper into the backstories of two of its characters: Grovyle and Dusknoir. As a massive PMD EoS fan, I've been enjoying it so far! Highly recommend it to anyone who's a fan of these games or characters and the writing is great! You can check out the creator's Twitter here, the hack download should be in a pinned post: https://twitter.com/PKMM_ESPEP0 It was when I got to a fight with a Vespiquen and her Combee that I got a little curious. Before I picked up this hack, I'd already watched a short playthrough of it and knew that you were supposed to lose this fight to continue the story (Vespiquen is ridiculously strong and uses Silver Wind, which basically kills you from anywhere). But I wondered if it was possible to beat it. After all, I had a lot of stun seeds by this point, and Duskull knew both Disable and Hypnosis which could stall the Vespiquen.

So I did. Though I must first confess, I didn't do it 100% legitimately. I don't own a DS, so I play all my games using emulators, including both PMD EoS and this romhack. Thus, I was able to save right before the battle so I wouldn't have to reset and go through the entire dungeon every time I lost. So while I did manage to beat the Vespiquen fair and square from start to finish, I did do a couple resets to save time. But that's not what I made this post for. After beating the Vespiquen, I unlocked a secret cutscene! I haven't seen anyone share this before, so I thought I might as well put this out there for anyone who is curious. For anyone who's read this far, thank you so much, and here it is! (It's quite long at about 7 minutes, but it's totally worth the watch!)

Thanks for reading through this one hell of a first post! Like I said, I really love PMD and from the little I've experienced, this romhack is just as beautifully written. Highly recommend checking it out if you haven't! I wonder if I should start posting PMD fanart of my own...

[bubblegumpixelz]

Can you do domestic hcs with Daisuke...?😽

Daisuke Domestic HCs

I feel like cooking with his S/O would result in him outright putting sauces and flour on your nose. If you work and he doesn't, he's probably cooking something new to try to impress you, but he might fuck it up.

🌺🌺🌺

He REFUSES to clean the toilet. "hell naw! Thats totally foul."

I'm not sure how good he'd be at cleaning...but he ain't exactly a super messy guy. Probably really clumsy.

🌺🌺🌺

If you guys have a dog, he probably plays with it for HOURS. absolutely loves that thing. Probably wants to name it "Hibiscus" or "Rodney". Loves bathing the dog too, splashing water on it and then watching him get all fluffy and puffy after getting rubbed with a towel. If you have a cat it probably lays on his face when he's sleeping.

🌺🌺🌺

He loves to play video games with you! Like Mario Party, any multiplayer Kirby, pokemon battles if you each have a copy, every time his s/o is home from work he's practically begging to play one!

🌺🌺🌺

Going to bed with him is like going to bed with a rock. He is just out like a light. He is just a rock. Probably wears some sort of hello kitty pajama set. Y'all also probably got at least 3 plushies on that bed.

[not-your-bro]

Tell me rfn the kind of video games climbing class stays up until 3am grinding and getting way too invested in

OOH. this is an interesting question bc i think they have fairly different taste in video games.

chris is into games with deep mechanics, so he gravitates to rpgs, including turn-based. likes strategy games, too. as a example of his taste, chris loves pokemon, but he plays it in a way i do not personally understand, in that he's crafting the most optimal team and also not naming his pokemon. all that said, he isn't opposed to turning his brain off with fps games when he just wants to relax. in all games, he is a chronic cutscene skipper (a trait that makes josh grind his teeth). if he picks up an in-game document that he deems too long, he's like "i ain't reading all that. i'm happy for u tho. or sorry that happened."

josh plays fewer games and has narrower taste. obviously, he's into horror in all forms, from AAA down to the smallest of indie titles (tho he prefers indie). i think he wouldn't have pegged himself as a fighting game guy, but he checked out mortal kombat bc of the fatalities and got really into it. he'd be into hideo kojima games. if i can include post-2014 games bc we're just having fun here, this would include death stranding (which chris would not understand the appeal of). josh would also love the weird, wide world of elden ring, in particular how it's stripped of things like quest logs. he would really enjoy making his own physical notes (which, again, would feel like homework to chris).

now, here's what they learned they can't play together.

moody, atmospheric horror that relies more on suspense or dread than fear. josh would love silent hill games (the good ones lmao), but chris would find them unenjoyable to play and narratively confusing & boring. warning for silent hill 2 spoilers here, but i made a joke in a fic about chris getting, like, too deep into sh2 before going, "oh. did this guy do something to his wife?" and i stand by that. i think he's just like whatttt is going on and when will this be over.

competitive games that rely too heavily on luck. obvious examples are mario party & mario kart games. josh gets too fucking moody when he feels he loses unfairly, and it brings the (mario) party down. and every time he suggests them, he's like "i seriously won't care, like it's not a big deal." but it is a big deal. in his heart. if he loses fair and square, he's fine, but he hates feeling robbed by bad luck.

...and here's what they do play together.

freaky asf horror games. like, the kinds of games with moments that are gonna have "streamers react to..." compilations on youtube. ideally, chris is playing and josh is watching, bc josh loves to watch chris react to games like this, especially if he himself has played them before. nothing more enjoyable than sitting next to chris, knowing what horrors await him but not saying anything. josh has a ps4 with p.t. (which he will never, ever delete) and he delighted in making chris play that. he also made chris play doki doki literature club, under the guise of "giving him a well-deserved break from horror." good one, josh.

chris's rpgs are long as hell and he gets very into them, so when he's particularly sucked in but josh still wants to hang, josh is like ok just bring your console over and play here, idc. now, josh knows chris is a cutscene skipper, so josh spends the entire time peppering chris with questions. what's happened so far? what's going on right now? who's this guy - what's his deal? at some point, they start making shit up, spitballing what they think is going on based on context clues, but also throwing in their own wild ideas just to make each other laugh. (after chris finishes the game, they read a plot summary to see how close they were.)

i think chris is a kingdom hearts fan, but again, not the way i'm a kingdom hearts fan. he thinks they're fun as fuck to play, but he has NO clue what's going on. in fact, playing kingdom hearts as a kid is probably what triggered his aversion to cutscenes. he was like that shit goes on FOREVER, and for WHAT? i'm enamored with the idea of chris foisting kingdom hearts on josh - like, "try it, bro, it's really fun. but just skip the cutscenes they're super long and confusing." and josh is like "now, now, christopher. a lot of work went into these cutscenes. we can't just skip them. that would be disrespectful." so josh lets them roll - initially as a bit, but then they both get invested, and next thing you know they're barreling through all 983094 games together.

resident evil 4. periodt. it has stuff that appeals to them both: horror/gore for josh, more action-oriented gameplay for chris, plus short cutscenes they can both find enjoyment in, because they're either freaky or funny or both. they would lament (as did i) that re5 and re6 have co-op but are so much worse, but they'd still play them once. and they'd both love the modern remakes + new re games. josh's favorite of those would be re7, and chris's would be re2 remake.

[fallershipping]

Beyond that... I've been absolutely poisoned by weirdos and anime in general when so many top favorites of people are High School romances where it's some clueless basic looking guy who does almost jack shit but has multiple girls pining for him.

This trope, anime fanfiction video game, it irritates me. It skeeves me out.

Poly relationships are great! But there's a difference. Big fucking difference. When someone says "naw maybe they're poly!" but I know what it is, what that actual canon was to begin with. that's not poly... i smell the difference between poly and...

Male oriented fanservice. Generic hero gets a bunch of girls to flock to him like they were party members of Pokemon. It's just fulfilling a fantasy of being the "ultimate gigachad" by just having girls similar to property and by doing absolutely nothing to warrant it.

It's all the worst tropes in one:

forced romantic plots instead of normal everyday friendship

generic boring guy who's made to be the perfect blank slate

girls made to be different to fit various tastes and keep the audience watching aka fan service

girls putting in all of the fucking romantic work because "girls are the romantic ones while the guy focus on the action and 5 episode long battle/cooking/juggling bowling pins tournament arc" oh yeah and they get cheered on by his girls

"Oh that hero! once again being oblivious and dumb to romance and does nothing romantic in return! what a lovable dumbass!" This Man Is Going In The Trash

they will all bear his kids because that's also what girls are made for

i just feel bad for these girls like... girls. there's more fish in the sea. He Ain't It™

edit: it appeals to the avoidance of commitment and just having girls flock to someone without even trying. The kind of guy who idolizes this is the kind of guy I Hate. It's not love. It's collection.

[gamequoteshowdown]

Thank you everyone for making this happen! Now, without further ado, the match-ups for Round 1!!!

Round 1

"I've been waiting for this!" - Akihiko Sanada, Persona 3 / "You're just a corpse who doesn't know he's dead" - Valter, Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones

"Are you going to be our goddess of victory… or our angel of death? Doesn't sound too bad to bet my life on that." - Keiji Shinogi, Your Turn To Die: Death Game by Majority / "Don't fuck with a witch!" - Bayonetta, Bayonetta

"Teammates!? Friends!? To hell with that! Why am I inferior to you!? I was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image! So someone would want me around! I am an ace detective! A celebrity! But you… You're just some criminal trash living in an attic!? So how!? How does someone like you have things I don't!? How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me!?" - Goro Akechi, Persona 5 / "I was just gunna ask you to sell a gun to this child." - Starlo, Undertale Yellow

"I want you to live." - Charlotte Wiltshire, Hello Charlotte Series / "Your hair… sunset colored. I like it." - Queequeg, Limbus Company

"The hope to end pointless conflict… The hope to tell your daughter how much you care… It is our mission as apothecaries to ensure that everyone lives long enough for their hopes to become reality. Even if it costs us our own lives." - Castti Florenz, Octopath Traveler II / "Game is clear when 2 zombies hold hands!!" - "How to Play" Narrator, Loving Deads: The House of the Dead EX

"Thanks to you, I am saddled with unnecessary… feelings" - Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney / "I am so fucking normal right now" - Harry du Bois, Disco Elysium

“SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN” - Harry du Bois (in the form as a potential mural painting), Disco Elysium / "You pull out your cellphone and access your old Tumblr. You have ten, but you specifically access the Garfield one." - Narrator, Monster Prom

"… Nice meeting you again, you FUCKING WHALE!" - Ishmael, Limbus Company / "My guess is no one's ever loved you before" - Woody, Kingdom Hearts 3

"Take care, [player]. I was lucky to have known you. Though the parting hurts... the rest is in your hands!" - Grovyle, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky / "Far out, man." - Netzach, Limbus Company

"I'll be back once I eliminate that devil called poverty from the world!" - Partitio Yellowil, Octopath Traveler II / "Elder gods from the whole cosmos have awoken to taste your cookies." - Narrator, Cookie Clicker

"Hello! This is the part where I kill you!" - Wheatley, Portal 2 / "Now we come to the question : Do I kill you? Do I tear you apart to my heart's delight? The choices of the beautiful are unbearable. How's a girl to choose?" - Alice Angel, Bendy and the Ink Machine

"I am Ferdinand von Aegir" - Ferdinand von Aegir, Fire Emblem: Three Houses / "Her metabolic processes are of interest only to historians." - Miles Edgeworth, Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

"It ain't a matter of guys or chicks... I'm just scared shitless of being rejected" - Kanji Tatsumi, Persona 4 / "...also Stanley is addicted to drugs and hookers" - Narrator, The Stanley Parable

“You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?” - Happy Mask Salesman, Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask / "I have no idea what to do with my life, but that's okay! Because I'm still working hard! Even if it's on nothing at all!" - Papyrus, Undertale

"Despite everything, its still you." - Narrator/Chara/Frisk???, Undertale / "In this world, it's kill or be killed." - Flowey, Undertale

“Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves. Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves…” - Voices of the Paranoid, Slay the Princess / "In the quiet glade, across old bark. In the ancient glade, it's always dark." - Gabbro, Outer Wilds

"You take away all their sins, and people aren't people anymore!" - Rokurou Rangetsu, Tales of Berseria / "Do you even get how it feels to have nightmares about doing tango with raw chickens? Eh?" - Heathcliff, Limbus Company

"Life is worth living, even if it hurts you, even if you hurt in it." - Solid Snake, Metal Gear Solid / "I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle... and wonder if we'll ever get the chance to kill him." - 2B, Nier: Automata

“Oh? Is that how it is? Yeah, okay, I like you too. Neat! Still going to kill you, but now we can both enjoy a mutual romantic subtext to the murder.” - The Razor, Slay the Princess / "Now it’s Reyn Time!" - Reyn, Xenoblade Chronicles

"You lost the coin toss. We both did." - Catherine Chun, SOMA / "I like to drink blood. . . and smoke the weed!" - Dracula, Space Funeral

"Pick a god and pray!" - Frederick, Fire Emblem: Awakening / "Can you believe it? Dragons! In your own homeland! What are you going to do?" - Florentia Candidius, Elder Scrolls Online

""Did you get the Broom Closet Ending?! The Broom Closet Ending was my favourite!" ...I hope your friends find this concerning." - Narrator, The Stanley Parable / "It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!" - Old Man, Legend of Zelda

“Close your eyes for a sec, will you Chigasaki?” “You mean physically? Or to the criminal acts I’m pretty sure you’re about to commit?” “Both.” - Chikage Utsuki & Itaru Chigasaki, A3! Act! Addict! Actors! / "You are all about to perish, do as you please. I'm sorry." - Meta Knight, Kirby Super Star

"Boy" - Kratos, God of War / "Take care of yourself, kid, cause someone really cares about you." - Sans, Undertale

"Almost Christmas means it wasn't Christmas!" - Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney / "Dios mío!” (Draw a cross.) “A LIBERAL!" - Harry du Bois, Disco Elysium

"That's it. I'm not paying one cent of my taxes!" - Ema Skye, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney / ""Trust your partner"... And I do. I can't forgive you, but I trust you." - Neku Sakuraba, The World Ends With You/Subarashiki Kono Sekai

"Hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there." - Ralof, Skyrim / *clap ... clap ... clap ... * "Oh good, my slow clap processor made it into this thing, so at least we have that" - GLaDOS, Portal 2

"hallOO. chikkEN. OKs?" - BOb, Slime Rancher / "Pretty good plan. You could say it was the greatest—" - Charles Calvin, The Henry Stickmin Collection

"Blood comes in four types: A, B, O, and AB. However! No blood test can determine whether a murder was committed… in cold blood!" - Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney / "You ain't my partner anymore, man. You're my friend! So trus' that, yo!" - Beat (Daisukenojo "Beat" Bito), The World Ends With You/Subarashiki Kono Sekai

"I always come back." - William Afton, FNaF Pizzeria Simulator / "So -- as you can see, I'm a *pretty okay* detective -- and an absolutely GIANT COMMUNIST." - Harry du Bois, Disco Elysium

"Ears have a nice mouth feel, very chewy!" - Briar, League of Legends / "This is like taking candy from a baby, which is fine by me." - Shadow the Hedgehog, Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

"It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... On days like this, kids like you... Should be burning in hell." - Sans, Undertale / "In the dark times, should the stars also go out?" - Steban, the Student Communist, Disco Elysium

“We are a path in the woods. We have no beginning, and we have no end, but something cold and unnatural sits watching us from just beyond our edge.” - The Wild, Slay the Princess / "Strong Pokémon. Weak Pokémon. That is only the selfish perception of people. Truly skilled Trainers should try to win with the Pokémon they love best." - Karen (Elite Four), Pokemon HeartGold / SoulSilver

[polyhexian]

I earnestly believe that the reason Uzi suddenly gained control of the solver in the final battle and could no longer be possessed is the same reason she's got Cyn in her tail at the end: the solver found her more interesting. The thing that changed between her final possession and her ultimately gaining control of herself is that she accepted herself. She accepted she was cringe and loved it, she accepted that she was weird and gross and that she was in love with N (and thinks girls are hot? Hmmm), she accepted her mom- she accepted herself. And in doing so became much more interesting. I don't think the solver is... Evil. As in I don't think it's inherently a malicious entity. It doesn't care either way. I think it offered itself to Cyn and let her use it, become it, and pursue her own goals: total destruction of all life.

But in the end, Cyn is now on copper-9, potentially the final bastion of sentient existence in the universe. If Cyn kills everyone here, there won't be anyone left.

...and wouldn't that be boring?

Uzi was a less dominant personality that, when up against Cyn's influence, flinched away. But with her no longer flinching... How interesting. Uzi is unpredictable. The solver... Likes the unpredictable.

A "solved" game is one where there is some path, some pattern of inputs, that will beat the game every single time. For example, a YouTuber "solved" Pokemon FireRed awhile back. If you start the series of inputs, it does not matter what starter stats you get, what rng happens, it will eventually reach the end in every possible scenario. It's a monkey on a typewriter thing that exists mostly in the theoretical. It means that every possible outcome has been accounted for and "solved."

But the solver has not solved uzi.

And that basically full stops everything. There's outcomes here the solver has not solved. Has not explored and accounted for. It's basically done with Cyn, the game has already been won. It knows the current outcome. Only... Hang on. Another outcome is possible. And it HAS to know. It needs to. It can't solve the universe unless it solves every outcome.

So the solver picks uzi. Or perhaps it simply removes the auto win state that Cyn has by letting Uzi make her own moves in the game without Cyn overriding her. See how it plays out. And ultimately Uzi wins and now: the solver is here to stay. And it does seem to have absorbed its previous hosts with Cyn and doll.

But ultimately what I think this means is that. The solver itself. Doesn't have "kill everyone" as the goal. And Cyn is in her brain and probably does have that goal but the solver??? Does not care either way. It just wants to see what's going to happen. It wants data to predict and manipulate outcomes. So like. The solver probably IS just a silly little guy in her tail now. Cyn, in the form she currently exists in, probably DOESNT have actual control over uzi unless her own will falters. But as long as she's confident and self assured, well. That thing can chatter away all day but it ain't taking over her.

Tie a bow around its mouth. That will probably work.

[otakween]

Digimon World 3 - First Impressions

Yaaay, so excited to be continuing this series! Well...can we even call it a series? I guess it's kind of like Final Fantasy where the games don't connect (sometimes). The numbers give me a sense of accomplishment anyways. Digimon World was bonkers and memorable for its weird mechanics, Digimon World 2 was kind of a flop, but enjoyable enough, not sure what the world's opinion on 3 is. Either way I'm ready for the long haul -cracks knuckles-

Notes:

This is the first Digimon game I've played that feels like a riff on Pokemon. There's badges I'm supposed to earn, towns to explore with all the usual RPG buildings (inn, item store, etc.), people who challenge me to battles as I walk by them, and the only digimon that earns EXP in battles is the one at the front of my party. I see this as a win because I enjoy the Pokemon gameplay loop.

Already got two CG animated cutscenes (FMVs?) I think the animation looks good! It holds up more than some of the other games I've played anyways. The bear digimon especially looked really cute in the opening. The other cutscene that played when I entered the digital world was great for immersion.

Load screens are kind of annoying, but oh well. I guess I can fast forward if they get bad. The text scrolls very slowly as well, which maybe I can adjust.

So the main character "Junior" and his friends go into the Digital World or "Digimon Online." In this game's canon (so far anyways) the Digital World is a game. I found it kind of strange that they all logged in together and then immediately were like "kay let's split up, bye." If they were going to split up then why were Teddy and Ivy like "wait for us Junior!! You're going too fast!"

I suppose this game world is supposed to be an MMORPG because a lot of the human-looking characters I spoke to referenced playing the game and their real lives as well. Gotta love a game within a game. The map/world doesn't really have an MMORPG vibe to me, but oh well.

Since I accidentally chose the "hard mode" pack in the last digimon game, I decided to give myself a break this time and go with the "balanced" pack. The Maniac pack has the best digimon imo, but I ain't taking any chances.

I was just reading about the game and I guess it has around 20 game-original digimon? Excited to meet them all. I'm sure some of this game will also be a preview for the next anime season.

The sleepy digimon in the inn were really cute

Love the sprites and how your digimon walk behind you. Too cute. It looks like they put a lot of effort into the background as well.

I've heard some stock sounds and music from past games already which is fun

I felt a little bit of dread when they mentioned the card game. I really like the digimon card game, but having to battle and play cards in one game kinda sounds like a pain. This is gonna be a long one...

When I played Pokemon when I was younger I would just level one Pokemon up and not give EXP to anyone else lol. I know that's not good strategy-wise, but because that one Pokemon would hog the EXP they'd be overleveled and it made the games easy. For the sake of "playing the game correctly" I'll try to do it right this time and move the digimon around.

[orcboxer]

having painstakingly looked through every palworld creature design, I can confidently say I ain't interested. I wanted my negative first impression to be wrong but lord amighty it does not look better up close.

I was an absolute pokemon kid growin up and I love seeing people's fakemon and fangames and the idea of a poke-like game appeals to me, so I have a lot of thoughts. if you feel defensive of palworld then uhhhh don't read this because tldr I think it looks awful

I thought it looked bad when it was announced so I wasn't paying close attention, but lookin through the pals quickly killed what little interest might have been lurking in me. like I don't wanna be unfair to anybody tryna make pokemon-like games, but these things weren't made with love I can tell you that for sure. there's maybe like 5 that look pretty good and original but the rest.... where do I begin

So first thing, the ripoff pokemon designs. I thought people were exaggerating but oh my god, they weren't. I would be disappointed to see one knockoff pokemon model, but there are dozens of them holy shit. Like at least half the dex is badly-tweaked pokemon models. This alone is enough to completely turn me off to the game because creature design is the heart and soul of this genre so if you ain't even gonna bother making your own damn creatures, what's the fuckin point? Even on some of the more "original" designs, I can point to at least one element that was straight up copy/pasted from an existing pokemon.

Second thing, recycled models within the game. Why do so many bird pals use the same (ripped off) body model? Why do so many pals suffer from same-face syndrome? The first pal I saw was Chillet, I thought it was cute. When I looked through the pals, I kept thinking "oh that face looks like Chillet. oh hey that face looks like Chillet. that one too." The overall effect of this is that a majority of the designs are forgettable, they blur together and feel indistinct from one another. the dex feels increasingly hollow with each reused asset. if you got 10 bird designs and 6 of them look the same, you really only got 5 bird designs.

Third thing (sort of. it's related to the other two), I noticed that there are no object-mon designs in palworld, which I would guess is intentional. I get the feeling that the devs were like, "object-mon are stupid, everything has to look like a creature," which is a common discourse topic in poke-like fan communities, and I think that maybe this played a part in the reusing of assets, because making animalistic creatures that look both natural and distinct from each other is hard! Trying to fill a whole dex with no inorganic-ish creatures is a daunting task, and at a certain point you either need a lot of time, or a lot of artists, otherwise you get same-face syndrome and heavy asset recycling. (I personally enjoy object-mons, as they're reminiscent of yokai, it's like hey here's a mundane object that has been inhabited by a little spirit! I think it's cute.)

Fourth thing, the silhouettes are too busy. Chillet works because it's simple and distinct. Most pals, though, have too many features going on at once, and you couldn't really play "who's that pokemon" with them. Again, this is a consequence of trying to mix-and-match the same pool of assets instead of designing from scratch. In order to make them look more distinct from each other you have to just add a bunch of unnecessary frills and appendages that makes for a cluttered visual impression.

Fifth thing, varying degrees of detail? Some of those pals have smooth, almost textureless skin/fur, but then others like jormuntide have super detailed texture? (also I know I've seen jormuntide's face before, it's from a different game on the tip of my tongue but I can't place it right now, but that's beside the point) You generally want to keep your creatures relatively consistent in terms of like, level of texture detail. It's like some of them are just higher resolution. Which if I'm being honest makes me think they stole assets from more than just Pokemon.

Finally, edginess. Maybe this is just me being too cynical but it feels like this game hates Pokemon. It feels like middle schoolers making jokes about hurhur what if somebody killed Barney the Dinosaur with a gun. The whole making them work in factories and butchering them? Who is the target audience here? There's a pal called Hangyu which vaguely resembles a noose and its dex entry says it was used to execute people by hanging them and also ripping their skin off....Come on man.

in terms of pal design, I give palworld 2/10 because Chillet is cute

[dapperblueberrieser]

I saw a post about how Pokemon get tainted by horny weirdos. In some cases it makes sense (cough cough Vaporeon) but then they showed pokemon like...Tsareena and Lopunny.

Like...just look at Tsareena for example. They are legit based on dominatrixes. They evolve from Steenee after learning STOMP. In most depictions of the pokemon, they stomp the fucking shit out of pokemon, in both anime depictions and side games. THEY ARE LEGIT WEARING BOOTS.

And this is coming from a Tsareena fan. I love this Pokemon, but I know it ain't beating the allegations.

[quietwingsinthesky]

(@transgenderdoctorwhomst)

Will what pokemon do you think 10 would have 👀

i'm about to be so self-indulgent (and show my whole ass with my only knowing off-hand pokemon from gens pre-6)

Roselia: OKAY. look. at first, i was like, no, i'm not giving him the literal rose pokemon, that's too obvious, but. well. how can you build ten without rose. integral to who he is AND canonically he is weird enough to have replaced her once with a cat also named rose. so. he'd definitely be weird enough to dedicate an entire team slot to a pokemon related to her name. there's also the fact that roselia is not actually, by title, the rose pokemon, it's the thorn pokemon, it is both beautiful, with an incredibly calming presence and scent, and covered in poisonous thorns. felt fitting.

Vaporeon: by law all doctor teams need an eevee or eeveelution on there somewhere, and I thought actually having one evolved fit Ten more, less in the sense that he's come into his own and more for the sense that he doesn't want to change. it terrifies him. and why vaporeon? well. did you know that in terms of human/pokemon breeding, vaporeon is-

Gothitelle: Gothitelle my beloved. Here are some relevant pokedex passages.

It can see the future from the movement of the stars. When it learns its Trainer’s life span, it cries in sadness.

Gothitelle unleashes psychic energy and shows opponents dreams of the universe’s end. These dreams are apparently ethereal and beautiful.

I was reading those and thinking about the fact we have that Ten was probably the shortest lived regeneration, and there's such a contrast there between the end of the universe itself (which he also went to see himself lol) and the brief blip of his "life span", as it were, in comparison to that. Also, Gothitelle's hidden ability is Shadow Tag, which prevents opponents from leaving battle. and. (gestures at all the times ten made things so much worse because he couldn't let things go)

Joltik: SHUSH i swear its not just here because i love joltik. although i do. look at that little face. adorable. but also. Joltik: The Attaching Pokemon, with pokedex entries that literally all revolve around it clinging onto other pokemon to get the energy it needs to keep itself alive. perfect pokemon for mr "if i'm not in a weird codepedent friendship right now i'll kill myself".

Absol: I think Absol could really be a shoe-in for any Doctor team. It's position as the Disaster pokemon is just. really obvious. And the fact that it doesn't actually bring disaster, just senses it and tries to come and warn people, gaining itself a reputation as a harbinger is even more so. And for me, I also remember vaguely a little fact about Absol in competitive. It has fairly good attack, not great but good enough to rank it, if not for the fact that it's defense is so mediocre in comparison. But, this could be a fine set-up for a sort of glass cannon build. Just one small problem. Absol has never been fast enough to pull it off in a way that makes it viable in higher tiers. And ain't that just the doctor in a nutshell, harbinger of disaster, coming to warn everyone, always too late, the guy with a time machine and never enough time.

Entei: And finally. You gotta have a legendary in a slot somewhere. I debated back and forth on if this should be Entei or Raikou. I knew I wanted it to be one of the 2nd gen legendary trio because their pokedex entries and everything about them is about how they run. they're always running. they're a bitch and a half to catch in-game because they'll flee every other turn if you don't tie them down. Raikou was in the running for being the thunder pokemon, thee oncoming storm, but in the end, I went with Entei, thinking of Pompeii.

[salora-rainriver]

The Sympathy Problem, or "Why I'm Too Much of a Monsterfucker to Get Into Horror"

I don't know what the fuck this is, but I'm writing an essay about a problem that, as far as I know, only applies to me (but i might be totally wrong, who knows).

I think the title speaks for itself, but lemme just elaborate on what the fuck happens inside my brain, and how that fundamentally affects the way I handle horror media, to the point where I cannot truly appreciate it as horror on the same level as everyone else.

now lemme post a cute bat here so that there'll be an appropriate image to represent the whole essay when its link is shared on stuff like Discord:

trust me this was important. Okay, let's keep going.

Part 1: Why I'm a Monsterfucker

Let's start at age 4. I'm a dinosaur kid, like roughly 1/3rd of all autistic bitches. I'm a dinosaur kid to the point of owning multiple Land Before Time movies, and tie-in games, and I think I even had like two plushies at one point.

you know it's serious when this is your childhood.

I also had miscellaneous dinosaur plushies, and dinosaur toys, and a dinosaur book I frequently read front-to-back, and you get the idea.

dinosaur love evolves into dragon love, evolves into "funky monster creatures and animals of all kinds" love. I become a freakish savant of the wonderful world of the animal kingdom really quickly, to the point where my child-brain career prospects include "vet" as a pretty high finalist.

And then I find Starcraft, a game in a genre I otherwise wouldn't have given a shit about... but guess what? it has bug dinos.

it's all over for me.

But like, why? why do I like dinosaur so much?

... because I am dinosaur.

Look. LOOK. I can't give a good comprehensive list on the connections between my particular strand of autism and the state of Being A Dinosaur, because by this point, me being autistic and me being a dinosaur are so completely intertwined that it's often a chicken-egg situation. But the point is,

I make weird noises instead of using my words. I toe-walk. I don't like shoes. Sometimes I like to not wear clothes at all, even. I like to hide in small crevices when spooked. When I'm in a meltdown, I scare people.

Me dinosaur. Or at least, me some type of feral.

So is it any fucken surprise that when I go into an RPG, I latch onto the animal shapeshifter, the furry species, or the person who fights unarmed and/or uses a claw weapon?

Is it any fucking surprise that I am the opposite of spooked by snakes and spiders and other such creepy crawlies?

is it any fucking surprise that I have a fursona?????

is it any fucking surprise that I picked Pokemon Scarlet without the slightest HINT of remorse?!

Part 2: Wait, That's not the Intended Response

now let's talk about horror. Let's talk about the elements that make horror into horror: the fear part.

So what scares people? Well... people scare us. A serial killer, a mad scientist, a cult leader, a corrupt government entity, maybe? or maybe even society itself, its darker side full of atrocities and danger and problems where there's no easy solution and things can often seem hopeless?

... lmao who are we kidding that's not the vast majority of what scares people in horror. IT'S MONSTERS! Monsters scare people!

From Xenomorphs to Jean Jacket to The Babadook, it's monsters! Shit that ain't human and never could be human, and maybe it's pretending to be human, maybe it used to be human, but now it ain't, and it's gonna getcha!

And it just.

I'm a monsterfucker.

I'm not scared of ghosts. Sure he's fucked up and wailing in endless pain and lashing out at everything, but that just makes me feel sad. Like, poor ghost dude. We should help him.

I'm not scared of vampires or werewolves. They're people like anyone else, and sure, there's an inherent danger from being around them, but there's also an inherent danger from being close to an alligator, and I'm sure as fuck not scared of an alligator chilling on the side of the road. Cautious, maybe, but not scared.

I'm not scared of zombies. I mean, if they were real, I'd be a bit spooked, cause I have no combat expertise and would definitely be Fucked. But the same would apply if my hometown became a war zone. And... a war movie won't scare me. So a zombie movie wouldn't, either.

I'm not scared of xenomorphs. I mean I don't want to die, but that just means I should be entering alien environments with all proper safety procedures. TBH I'm more pissed at Weyland-Yutani than anything else.

I'm not scared of the Babadook. I'm worried for the well-being of the family as they try to come to terms with grief, and the monstrous shape that grief has taken. But it seems like they're coping in the end, so that's good.

I'm not scared of Jean Jacket - okay no. I'll be honest. It makes me uncomfortable. I will not be going into detail on the difference between this discomfort and actual fear. That is not a Salora Lore I want to disclose here. If you Know, you Know.

Part 3: Horror ceases to be a genre for me

So the monsters in horror movies don't scare me. And yet... I've watched some horror movies. And I've liked them. From this one list I've been using as quick reference to remind myself of What Horror Movies Exist out there, I've watched a few of these, or am at least familiar with them. You know, I've seen some classic horrors like "The Shining" because I went to film class in high school, and I've watched some installments of classic franchises like "Scream", or oddball picks like "Warm Bodies" and "The Relic", because I was having watch parties with friends.

Even beyond film, I read some Lovecraft once, and I've played plenty of spookier-themed videogames, like... well, like Silent Hill 2. Didn't finish that one. Bcs I'm bad at puzzles. But I loved the atmosphere.

And even when I'm not directly experiencing the horror media, I often look it up, read the synopsis, and watch video essays about it.

I know way too much about Hereditary, Midsommar, Get Out, the Slasher Genre in general, Creepypasta, Resident Evil, and mascot horror, for someone who's supposedly not able to properly engage with horror as a medium.

And I like some of that shit! But uh...

... not. as horror.

I just. Don't engage with them as horror films. I engage with them as whatever other genre you could slot them into. Hereditary is a tragedy. Get Out is political allegory. The Babadook is psychological allegory. Ghost stories are dark fantasy. Alien is sci fi. Slasher films go back and forth between mystery, action, and dark comedy. Warm Bodies is a rom-com. (like. that's not even a weird hot take. I don't know why this Rotten Tomatoes editorial decided it was horror, but I'm not gonna dispute their assertion, Bcs like. this entire essay is about why I'm not a good judge on that sort of thing) Silent Hill is a puzzle-adventure game with light action. Five Nights at Freddys is a time-management simulation game that would stress me the fuck out if I ever played it. Amnesia: the Dark Descent is a stealth game.

You get the idea.

So I'm just... in this really weird position. I'm a huge fan of spooky monsters, strange happenings, stories that engage seriously with the anxieties of mankind through allegory,

but I can't. truly enter the horror genre community as an insider.

Cause I ain't scared.

And honestly, it gets even worse when I start to imagine myself maybe, idk, *writing* a horror story of my own. Because... since I don't get scared by them, how am I supposed to know what scares others? Apologies to my fellow disabled folk for this clumsy analogy, but... it feels like trying to paint while visually impaired. I mean... you can do it. You can do it super well if you push yourself. but it's a strong disadvantage, and it might result in an artwork that could baffle the seeing people in your audience.

And maybe there could be merit in that. In writing my attempt at a horror story from the perspective of someone who doesn't find any of it scary. Maybe it's be intriguing, even surreal or dreamlike or alien to the audience who doesn't engage with this subject matter in the same way I do.

Or maybe it'd just end up similar to that one phase of the creepypasta fad where folks were going "wooo! hyperrealistic blood! isn't it spoopy n fuked up????" and it'll be garbage idfk

Bonus Round: ...Okay I Might've Lied a Bit

There is one movie that for me, truly could be considered "horror".

It genuinely terrified me as I watched it. It shook me to my core and opened my eyes to how other people feel when they see some shadowy monster figure with too many teeth reach out and eviscerate a poor bitch. I fucking get it now, to some extent. I don't know *how* the spiky boy elicits that response in you, but now I understand how it feels.

Because I watched FUCKING M3GAN

[SPOILER WARNING: I'm not saying the exact plot beats of the movie but I AM going into detail about its themes and the character development of the protagonist. It's massive spoilers but they're all vague spoilers.]

Me and my friends didn't pick this movie thinking we'd get spooked. this is the movie where the doll does some sort of modern dance routine while carrying a katana. It's goofy shit! We figured this was goofy ass modern trash and we were gonna laugh.

MOTHERFUCKERS I WASN'T LAUGHING????

Is the premise unrealistic and goofy? yeah. are the characters exaggerated and cartoonish? yes. are there like, numerous jokes throughout this film, that are portrayed as jokes? yes. was the dancing robot doll chase sequence goofy as shit? yes*

*ok but the context of That Scene made my brain gloss right the fuck over how goofy it was bcs I was too fucked up over everything else that already happened!

So like. What? How? How is goofy robot doll horrifying? Salora, you know how many stories about rogue AIs and killer robots there are? Why doesn't skynet scare you?

It's not about the doll. It's about the humans who created her.

This film is as subtle as a fucking anvil when it comes to it's social commentary. Like, "opening sequence is a kids commercial for Deranged Knockoff Furby" and "a therapist character explains attachment theory for a whole scene" levels of unsubtle. and honestly that makes the horror fucking worse. in this bizarre cartoonish parody of society, we're seeing a laid-bare and raw allegory for the real harm we are inadvertently delivering upon real fucking people. Weirdly enough, the exaggeration just makes it feel more real.

and what's "It"? Not the uncanny valley of a too-perfect silicon face, the gruesome deaths, the murderous AI,

No, "it" is the commodification of childhood, the degradation of familial ties and human connection through overwork, the way we try to patch these broken ties with product, the outsourcing of parenting to toys and machines, the disastrous consequences of allowing an orphan to vanish into wish fulfillment fantasy instead of being given space to work through her grief,

the exploitation of her grief in order to market the very thing that's spiraling her further into an unhealthy dependency, to do the exact same thing to children worldwide, all because of profit.

Look. Monsters, ghosts, demons, serial killers, zombies, predatory animals, rogue AI, they're not scary to me, because I know them. and if I don't know them, I want to know them. The solution to the threats things like that pose are simple. Keep your distance from the crocodile. Punch the shark's sensitive nose to make it back off. Invest in security measures so your house doesn't get broken into. Don't anger the ghost. Exorcise the demon. Shoot the zombie's head.

How do you, an overworked engineer for a toy company, find the time to connect with your orphaned niece on a human level?

How do you take away said niece's beloved doll when you slowly come to realize that her attachment to it has become unhealthy?

What the fuck are you supposed to even do when you realize that you might have created a murderous monster and marketed it to hundreds of kids, and your overzealous boss is in your ear pressuring you to get it ready for launch?

WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

Conclusion: But fr am I like the Only One

so uh. yeah.

My fear response is mucked around by an unusually high level of sympathy for the monsters that tend to populate horror media. I'm Too Kinky To be Tortured, and it puts me in an awkward relationship with the horror genre, where the only things that can well and truly terrify me are unhealthy relationships and capitalism, and even then, only if those topics are presented in just the right way to make me feel like this shit is Real.

And like you know how there's a whole language of like, scares and signifiers and shit that's been well-researched, all these tiny tips and tricks to exploit primal fears in humans? (I dont know if language is the right word but im just gonna call it that until further notice)

well, a lot of that Language of Horror doesn't quite work on me, because it's all related to monsters and physical threats, and I love the monsters too much,

and I imagine there is a whole different Language out there of the shit that can be exploited to scare me,

but fuck if i know what it is. I only got a single movie as my frame of reference. How the fuck would you even find a movie that handles social anxiety like that?

Like idk, do y'all think Carrie would spook me? Carrie's about societal ills, right?

[hopeymchope]

I HOPW YOU ENJOY IT I LOVE THAT GAME

I'M HONESTLY WORRIED BECAUSE IT'S SO INSANELY HYPED LOL

Plus I'm worried about playing FF7 for... many other reasons that I'm now going to ramble about at EXCESSIVE LENGTH.

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS START!

FIRST: It's been, what, 27 years since this thing came out? And I've probably played a lot of stuff that took whatever FF7 did that was so groundbreaking and iterated/improved on it already, y'know? I doubt this game can ever be the earth-shattering experience it was for people of that initial release period.

SECOND: In my own opinion, the worst-aged generation of gaming (outside of the very first one) has to be the N64/PS1/Saturn gen, a.k.a. "fifth-gen." Pixel art from the older retro systems is kind of timeless-looking to me, and 2D game mechanics got locked down pretty quickly for the main titles of the day. Plus and the sixth-and-later generations still look fine and hold up on some level—by seventh-gen, we were already in HD! But fifth-gen polygonal graphics and pre-rendered assets are just... WOOF.

Get a load of those overworld character models in FF7 — they ain't got no alibi. And that's to say nothing of how awkward things typically were while we were first figuring out how to transition into 3D. Camera controls/angles, save structures, etc... it's all a fit fumbly.

So yeah, I don't have a lot of nostalgia/fondness for this gen, personally. My favorite games from this time period are typically the ones that dared to stick to 2D: Symphony of the Night, Mega Man X5, etc. And the exceptions are usually best experienced via latter-day ports that made big quality of life improvements or visual enhancements. I adore Ocarina of Time... but I'd definitely recommend that anyone new to it play the 3DS version.

THIRD: I ALSO don't like random battles. I know they're an RPG staple for many old-school titles, but like... I strongly prefer being able to see the enemy on the overworld before I enter the battle screen. Or at LEAST being able to tell where I can walk to either avoid or trigger potential random battles ala Pokemon games. I'd GREATLY prefer to not be jump-scared by a random battle every few steps. And although the modern FF7 ports have a trigger to supposedly turn off the random battles, it (A) doesn't seem to work half the time, and (B) using it will just leave me under-leveled in the long run.

And ALL OF THAT is why, for a long time, I waited for the FF7 remake. I figured that'd probably be my best introduction to the story and characters—bringing them to a new generation with a new presentation. But when the remake finally arrived, it wasn't a remake at all. Not only is the gameplay radically different, but even the story is heavily based in how it diverges from the original! Familiarity with the original game appears to be highly recommended.

And so... here I am.

I've only been playing FF7 for a couple nights now. Tuesday night was day one. And so far? I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I didn't already know in the story — I thought that cultural osmosis from years of Remake/Rebirth trailers and general gaming YouTube channels and overall gaming chatter would have spoiled every single story beat already. Certainly, the most famous event/twist in the game is something that was spoiled EVERYWHERE for years and years. But right now—having just swung away from a huge explosion on a big old crane-hook—I'm like "Huh, I didn't know that'd happen" pretty regularly!

Plus a general "Huh, I didn't know the overarching evil in this game was corporate capitalism." That last part has certainly aged like a fine wine. :)

[r0-boat]

I’ve replaying legends arceus again and like I realized there is a Palmer ancestor so he’s also Barry’s ancestor but like I need a hyper teen running around the galaxy camp with a feral shinx on his head with the professor’s assistant trying to get him to calm down and the hero pointing and laughing

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isnt that Ginter?

(edit: I was wrong it is not Ginter)

We barely see him in the game, but I low-key wish we had a little more substance on him!

I could just imagine him adopting a little Shinx kit found abandoned.

he seems like one of those dads that doesn't want any animals only to fall in love with this tiny kitten sleeping in his lap.

Ginter seems to be a pretty fearless and chill.

dude goes into or after time space distortions to grab random crap to sell so it ain't too far off for him raising a Pokemon!

He probably just doesn't want any trouble from a wild Pokemon, but the Shinx cub, not knowing any better, only seeing him as the man who saved it, keeps following him around like a lost puppy (kitten, heh)