#I love Kevin but I think he would have never gone to evermore to take Jean because he had always been used to seeing Jean endure

[figuringthengsout]

Still thinking about this

Because in every other universe he decide to stop enduring, he took matters into his own hands and took his own life. The last thing he had.

But in this one, he held on for a bit more. Just a tiny bit more and found a lifeline in the evening breeze, in Renee, in long open roads and in his friends.

[farawaysoph-ie]

The Sunshine Court Incoherent Whatever (pt.1)

Okay. Okay.

I just finished The Sunshine Court and 1) Jean Moreau what have you done to me? 2) Jean Moreau what have(n't) they done to you?

I started this, then went and re-read tkm (bc the obsession was always latent and never gone), so I could compare both Neil and Jean pov and well, suffice to say I'm not okay and I feel too much.

Thank you Nora Sakavic, it was painful and amazing.

I have a long train ride so I might as well bring back my incoherent whatever after *checks the notes* 4 years :')

As always this will be so full of spoilers.

(Unrelated spoiler: the train ride wasn't enough)

Let's start with the general:

After loving Neil maybe too much the shift to Jean took awhile to adjust to but now I'm ready to fight at least three mafia families, every single hater (fictional or otherwise) and the FBI for him

Jeremy Knox was everything, but like everyone on here, what are you hiding Jeremy?? What's going on??

Cat and Laila, my beloved ™️ the care these two effortlessly gave made me cry

This whole book was a serious trigger for me, but I'm in too deep with this series, imagine me like that Simpsons meme, I did it for my new french son

Characters, thoughts:

I said before the Ravens were a cult, but I hadn't really understood that statement. Every time Jean spoke of them it hit deeper and deeper how messed up and unfair it all was.

Boy am I happy that Riko is dead, like I didn't really wish anyone the fate of being shot by an unfeeling older brother, until Jean's pov hit me like a high speed train.

Andrew spoke exactly one word in this, still was iconic and a scene stealer, how in character for him

I forgot how much I always want to slap Kevin Day when he's trying his best to be annoying, it's because I love him, I swear! (But seriously his relationship with Jean is so complex and well executed I will think about it for a very long while)

I didn't give much thought to Renee and Jean relationship in tkm, but it broke my heart here, it's when I started to actually tear up, I love them so much rainbows, a cool evening breeze. I can't.

"Tell me something"

"Where are you now?"

The whole dynamic of the Cat&Laila& sometimesJeremy's apartment

Cat teaching Jean how to cook + motorbike ride (open roads)

Laila taking him to shopping

Jeremy wanting to make Jean Moreau the Person his success story

Neil dragging Jean towards survival without giving him a choice, again and again: he sent Renee as gentle bait, closed a deal in his name with a mafia boss, promised him he would win against Riko in his name too, promised him again Riko was dead, ordered a hit on his rapist, offered to delay the talk with the FBI, linked his sister to his name, to survival and to what he deserved. I NEED more interactions between them, I am not above begging.

I have to get a better idea on the other Trojans, but for now the policule was cute, I need more Cody and less Lucas. Like I can understand where he was coming from? But he needs to shut up now, you made your mess man, now go play Exy like you were supposed to.

I miss the Foxes :'(

Wymack! I almost forgot everyone's favourite dad-coach: he showed up, brought alcohol, got more tired, delivered care to yet another traumatized child, spent a whole day on airplanes to bring him to Los Angeles, left him money for clothes&co. bc he's not doing this again, answered his call when he was having The Breakdown. Best dad-coach ever in the history of dad-coaches.

Plot things:

Jean at the beginning was so scared and in so much pain it took a while to get a clear picture of him as a person

Still loved all his salty comments and insults, he couldn't help himself

Renee sitting with him and caring with Abby and Wymack :')

Jean being afraid of going back and of not going back to Evermore, hating the ones that got to leave

The self harm and all the people in this that fought him to keep his hands from his neck, his scars, himself

"I am Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I will endure."

Jean not believing in Wymack care, waiting for the act to end and the other shoe to drop

The disbelief at Kevin being away from the court and him admitting he went at knifepoint (and meaning it literally), sometimes this was a comedy

Wymack, Jean, and the burning of houses

Jean's opinion of the Foxes going from those mediocre fools to those mediocre madmen to the madmen that actually beat Riko Moriyama

Wymack putting Jean's phone in the freezer and hating computers

“That man is years overdue for a high-speed, head-on collision.” couldn't have said it better, but Neil was already on it at that point

"Jean knew better than to look for anger in his stare; the best Kevin could manage was bottomless guilt."

“It was my only chance,” Kevin said. “I knew you wouldn’t come with me.” “My place is at Evermore,” Jean agreed, “but you did not have to slit my throat on the way out.”

“Your blind loyalty to those clowns is exhausting.” “Some of them you like,” Kevin reminded him. “Don’t you dare,”

Nathaniel "Hello Jean" Wesninski vs Jean "Go away" Moreau

This whole conversation went very differently compared to tkm: like there Neil came, dropped a metaphorical bomb, glossed over the explanation and went away trying to convince Andrew they are something

Jean was ambushed by two of his most complicated acquaintances (???) and their "pet goalkeeper" (god I need Andrew's reaction to this "nickname", but I guess no one will ever say this to his face, Neil would be too busy fighting you at the suggestion to ever repeat it), had his worldwiew turned upside down with no chance of having a say in the matter, then was left alone with Kevin Day and the aftermath.

So yes two different conversation; also I kinda forgot of the deal about Neil and his smile

“Everyone who has tried to tame him has failed.”

All for the game: a summary

There was no getting away; there was only getting through.

Jean Moreau who (hasn't) hurt you, part some of too many

What really makes it messed up is that on one hand there was Riko and his mad cruelty and on the other there was an entire team of bystanders At Best: some people were an active part and then pretended, no sympathy for them; others decided to ignore the truth to survive and get what they wanted, which I can understand but I guess they still didn't have the decency to shut up when Jean got away. The anger that crawled through my skin when the smear campaign and the notebook/postcards/magnets thing happened. You should have stayed silent until the end you fucks.

“Do it, then. It wouldn’t take much; we all know I have brittle bones.”

Jeremy pov kinda gave you whiplash, with him waking up super early, helping homeless men, but then you start noticing all the things he avoids almost effortlessly and like, what are you hiding sunshine man??

What actually broke me about his povs was him noticing all these details about Jean, and then misinterpreting them, bc whatever he's been through Jean has had it 100 times worse and this doesn't even factor in Jeremy world. I'm pretty sure he'll get the whole truth in the end and I'm scared of what it'll do to him.

Also Jean being like Ravens always had to keep secrets and then spilling most of them almost unprompted, let's laugh in order not to cry

“He hasn’t played a clean game in years,” Kevin admitted, “but he knows how to follow orders. If you tell him to submit, he will.” “Literally the most awkward way you could’ve worded it,” Jeremy said.

This will keep coming back, Kevin please. (He 100% ships it, one of us)

The Foxes catching the too tired Trojans and Jeremy being like, you are all approved (I need the two teams to interact now)

Also the Trojans being like how are they still standing, Neil how are you still running??

Someone pointed out they wanted Neil to interact with Jeans closest teammates bc if he is a madman by Jean standards, what would normal people make of him? To which yes, but also guys consider this: Neil said to Cat and Laila that they were terrifying after the semifinal, he took a step back when Jeremy opened the door and silently invited him in. I need Neil and the floozies to interact so Neil can experience real fear.

Mafia bosses have nothing on wholesome people, the true weakness of one Neil Josten

Jean immediately hanging up on Jeremy will never not be funny

When you get to the title of the book and it's Jean insulting people <3

I will Never, NEVER, get over the "nineteen". Never.

I love Abby but when she told that bit about fighting back, It Hurt. She probably didn't really mean it and didn't know everything bc how are you supposed to keep fighting when you are fifteen, alone and forsaken in a place that is built to break you? As it has been pointed out, Neil had rebellion beaten into him by a mother that chose him and ran; Jean had a sister that he hoped to protect and parents that sold him away like property. Five months were actually a long time.

Dobson keeps being iconic, I don't know what to think about the I don't know how exy works bit: I mean I've been obsessing with this and still don't know how exy works (plz don't hate me), but at the same time it was such a power move and got Jean to talk

“Of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent.” “Good morning to you, too.” Nathaniel held up an oversized bandage.

You see why I need more of their interactions, right?

Nathaniel was different; he always would be. He wasn’t a Raven, but he was, same as Jean. He was Jean’s misplaced forever partner, an unfulfilled promise Jean had stopped believing in years ago.

You can now be forever partners while you tear down your families :)

I think that I'm stuck on the two of them bc while Kevin broke a promise to save himself (to which no hate, when dealing with madmen like Riko you have to save yourself) and still couldn't, not completely, Neil was a promise made and broken by other people. Jean hates him bc they were supposed to share a destiny and all the misery, but I think very deep down he knows that if Nathaniel had come to the Nest they would still be nursing wounds and appeasing a tyrant. Neil is the one that stood against Riko when Kevin wanted to hide, the one that gave him courage by example, the one that dragged Jean away from the Ravens, both for selfish reasons (taking down Riko) and better ones (paying him back for saving his life a the Nest).

But still

“You are only here now because you are an abominable cockroach,”

Funny how Neil forgot to tell us about the breakdown about Kevin's tattoo, he was probably thinking about the match. Junkie.

The cheese drawer guys, ???

To this day I still can't decide what was more iconic: Kevin Day switching playing hand halfway through the game and pretty much scoring everything until the last second, Neil being so fast that it made up for him being a shitty defender, Andrew crossing the court to keep Neil from being murdered (I'm biased, but still iconic moments all of them)

Experiencing this match from Jean's pov was amazing writing, like the countdown of the last ten seconds, the Riko-Neil bit without volume but from a different angle (I didn't really realize everyone was able to see the King attempting murder live on TV, but hey perspective)

Run, Jean thought. He didn't know if he was thinking it at Andrew or Nathaniel. Run.

"That wasn't a miracle," Jean typed out. "That was the Foxes."

:')

When Jean found about Riko though :'(

The shudder that wracked his chest should have been revulsion, but it fell dangerously short. This didn't feel like joy or relief; it only felt like loss. [...] Who was he without them?"

I loved that he woke up to Renee and Neil though, the rainbow and the witness

Renee always hitting the point, this wonderful girl

"Maybe you're mourning the wreckage he made of your life. You're allowed to grieve what he took from you."

"It's impressive, isn't it? How easily these monsters die in the end."

Neil Abram Josten said I'm done letting monsters ruin my life and my people, he actually promised.

When he called him Neil guys, tears

Also I found peculiar that when thinking about the room he destroyed Jean calls it "Neil's dorm room", not Kevin's who he's known for actually longer. It's what makes me think that they have a chance at not being misplaced forever anymore.

Renee either hits you with hidden wisdom of the universe or with practical and brutal advice, and we love her for that

The two of them, the Two Of THEEEEEEEEM

Jean noticed how Andrew and Neil moved like they were caught in each other's gravity, in each other's space more than they were out of it, cigarette smoke and matching armbands and lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long.

Just leaving this here.

The airport bit :'(

"Men like Wymack didn't exist. They couldn't; they shouldn't."

Enter Jeremy Knox and his yo-yo in the middle of said airport. Flawless.

This man was put on Earth to test Jean, at least that's what he will keep thinking from here on

The rest of this book is Jean having conversations with people and not understanding them, bc he's been living for five (seven) years in a cult. It is an escalation pretty painful to watch, I think the Trojans are all of us :'(

Question: will Jean end up teaching Jeremy French? Will Jeremy learn by himself? I think I'd probably prefer the latter

Cat, the mess, the music, the tour, I love her so much

Jeremy "he's a little off" Knox, he was trying

Barkbark von Barkenstein

Jean Moreau and the real world (bubble tea? you have to shop for stuff? you sign things yourself? you leave campus? someone help this disoriented french bean)

"Something had gone horribly wrong at Evermore"

oh Jeremy

Watching Jeremy regret almost all his questions :'(

“Three fractured ribs. Sprained LCL. Twisted ankle. Broken nose. That’s most of it.” That’s most of it.

Laila, who pushed and got angry for Jean and didn't back down despite him lashing out, my beloved

You look like a Ken doll." + "This isn't blond."

"Not Grayson.[...] Please." that one made me sick, the writing made me feel even only a part of what Jean was feeling and it was enough to feel sick

The water :'(

Jean just leaving when confronted with Laila and Jeremy in swimsuits was very bi of him

Lucas coming in looking like a well know nightmare and the Ravens dropping like flies

I didn't ask.

It's not like I didn't know, right? But I still died inside

Zane and the betrayal

Jeremy didn’t let him get away with it. “That’s not the issue and you know it. I don’t want to crowd you.” “You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

Jean taking one look at the doctor sent by the coaches and going nope, Dobson will be definitely better

Jeremy seeing the nightmares and the scars and not being able to do much:(

A hand on his chin startled him into looking up. When he met Jean’s eyes, Jean only said, “Focus on what’s important.” “I am,” Jeremy said. Jean opened his mouth, closed it again, and let go of Jeremy without a word. Jeremy snagged his arm when he started to turn away. “Who did this to you?”

I'm sorry did he just

“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

“Say ‘yes, Jeremy’.” He had the distinct impression Jean wanted to roll his eyes. “Yes, Jeremy.” Jeremy forgot everything else he could have said in favor of staring. It was the first time he’d heard Jean say his name.

Are you seeing this? Yes? Good, let's go on

“If I ever make you uncomfortable or make you feel unsafe, will you promise to tell me? If you don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong and why, at least trust me enough to tell me that something is wrong. I can’t fix things if I don’t know there’s a problem. As your captain and your partner, don’t I at least deserve the chance to not be a villain in your story?”

The pool bit :'( and after when they tell there are no pools at Evermore. Riko is so lucky to already be dead :)

You’re forcing us to hurt you without giving us any say in the matter.”

Watching Jean trying to navigate his interactions with the Trojans was painful, frustrating but also hopeful. This boy has been hurt so much and so often, he doesn't get what normal looks like anymore. But the Trojans don't let him get away with it (even if it breaks their heart and the coaches will probably get a lot of grey hair from this)

"Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.” “You are naïve.” “Maybe you’ll define success by how we do this season, but I’m not obligated to do the same. You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court. You take care of one, and I’ll take care of the other.” “That is not how it works.” “Is there a rule against it?” “There is no merit to it. This is all I am.” Jeremy ignored that and asked again, “Is there a rule against it?”

Jeremy gay panicking and the photo of Renee

The floozy line!

Every time Jeremy goes "our coaches" or "our teammates" all I can think in my head is "someone will die" "of fun!!!!"

Jean wondering if the Trojans have something against recruiting tall players xD

“Thank you for worrying about them. You’re a good man, Jean Moreau.” “A ridiculous sentiment,” he said. “I mean it,”

This man didn't even second guess himself, he had to ask because he knew and it didn't even occur to him to be silent. Excuse me sir? Shut up you are a good man

“I assumed the Trojans were idiots,” Jean said. “Now I think you are all insane.” “It’s a step up,” Cody said. “I’ll take it.”

The practices, the scars pt2

“It is all I am, Coach.”

“We did not want outsiders at Evermore.” “Except Neil,” Cat said. “Neil was a special case,” Jean allowed.

#accurate

You’re hurting me.” “It has been toward for five years,” Jean said, looking past Jeremy at the scrimmage that was still going on without them. “It is not that easy to undo.” Jeremy frowned at him and echoed, “Five? You were only with the Ravens for three.” “I moved into Evermore two years before I enrolled,” Jean said, and hauled Jeremy to one side. The stray ball that had been coming for them ricocheted off his chest instead of Jeremy’s back, and Jean scooped it up on the rebound with a quick snap of his wrist. He hurled it across the court toward Cody one-handed before finally letting go of Jeremy. “I will try harder.”

The notebooks breakdown hurt so bad bc Cat and Laila being angry for him (they are all of us), Jeremy trying to mediate bc he's been there, he pushed and Jean broke and he doesn't want to hurt him, and Jean who confesses his secrets without meaning to, just to realize and panic. What a recipe for a disaster.

“How dare they blame you for anything after what they did to you. How dare you grieve them.” It hit like a sucker punch, but Jean’s frustrated rejoinder was worse: “They don’t know.”

They don't know, but they could guess. They could smell the blood. They joked about his brittle bones. He was sixteen. I'm not sorry for the mercy I don't have after finishing this book

Jeremy could only watch in wretched silence as Jean tried to walk himself back from the edge. He cast his phone aside in favor of catching Jean’s face in his hands, and the way Jean flinched at his touch was almost his undoing. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Hey. Jean. Look at me.” Jean refused, and Jeremy grasped desperately for anything that could bring Jean back to him. He seized on the only thing he could and threw Jean’s words back at him: “You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.” It wouldn’t work, but it did. Jean opened his eyes to meet Jeremy’s stare. “I told you not to ask me about him.”

I had seen the quote before reading but no one told me what followed ç.ç

He felt a tremor in Jean’s hands, and for a blinding moment he was sure Jean would lean into the safety of this silent confession. But Jean only sucked in a slow breath and said, “Now I am not safe with you, captain.” Letting go of Jean was the hardest thing Jeremy had ever done. Everything in him railed against this, and for a moment he regretted giving Jean a way out.

I was not crying, I swear.

“I’m sorry,” Jeremy said, because he didn’t have the strength for small talk or a softer approach right now. “Did Riko break your hand?”

That was one heavy conversation and it's just the start (Jeremy is Not Fine™️)

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,” Jeremy said.

Still best boy

And maybe in many ways he still was, but a martyr could still be a monster when the cameras weren’t rolling.

Boy do I have news for you (do you think Jeremy will know that Riko didn't kill himself? Does it matter? I think not knowing this particular detail would be fine, I still don't really know how much this sunshine boy can take (more than I expected but still))

Did I mention that I really love the apartment trio? Cat and Laila agreeing to silence but still being angry (drag them girls, draaaaag them), the dinner and movie and Jean not getting up to leave

Did I mention Lucas is free to shut up and play? :) Because I get that you are angry, but 1) it's not your decision to make, we don't need your conspiracy theories 2) it's not Jean problem, he has enough of them leave him alone

“Ask him why he’s so sure the rumors are true. Ask him what his part in it was. If you’re going to believe him just because he’s blood, then at least make him tell you the truth.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas demanded.

And Jean still deciding not to lie, he may be an asshole but almost everyone he has known didn't deserve him

Also I don't know where Lucas got the audacity? You think there is something the justifies breaking a player's ribs?? What is wrong with you, you are part of the sunshine court

The dread when asking if Grayson was home

The bike ride :')

Now that they were settled, he expected an interrogation or a reason for this unscheduled trip out. When she failed to explain herself, Jean finally asked, “Why are we here?” “I love it here,” [...] “I don’t know. I just felt like some fresh air would do you good. There’s nothing like a ride to get you out of your head and into the moment, you know?” Jean considered that for a minute. “Thank you.”

Jean waited until he was out of earshot. “I don’t understand.” “Trust us,” Jeremy said tiredly. “Neither do we.”

Jean vs the Trojans, a summary

The monster shows up and it was a mess and Jean has never had a break, literally never

Which was extremely literal bc Lucas wanted to talk and then Neil shows up

I need a separate post for the last pages bc I started this 24 h ago and I want to do it justice. So part 2 coming.

Edit: I misspelled Jean's surname *facepalms and goes to hide*

[thisisnotourlasthunt]

Andrew Showing The Foxes His Love Through Actions.

All through “All for the game” we can see how Andrew shows his love through actions. I believe that Andrew does care for his teammates and I know I; m not the only one, so I wrote this. (Also, I will just forget about the choking scene because N*ra did their relationship so badly, like- ugh, that’s for another time)

Tw: Curse words, references to the foxes pasts, punches, vomit, Riko, mentions of scars, mentions of nightmares, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm, probably many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Allison.

It happened during a game, the foxes were winning and the other team were getting exasperated because they could not get past the backliners and if they could, Andrew would not let them score.

During the last minutes of the game, a player from the other team made Allison trip on purpose and “accidentally” kicked her.

Everyone else were too far away from them.

Except Andrew.

When the referee called the fault, Andrew was already there, punching the guy resulting in him taking a step back and falling to the ground.

As the referee gave him a yellow card, Andrew extended his arm to help Allison up.

And if he asked Renee how bad the injury was, no one had to know. 

Matt.  

When Matt was visiting his mom during summer vacations, they decided to go shopping, there he found the most adorable hoodies. It was orange on the outside and the inside had a really soft and warm fabric, which was white and had orange paw prints. But the best part was that the hoodie had fox ears.

Matt obviously bought nine of them.

“Disgusting.” Andrew had said, which Matt had obviously expected, so he thought nothing of it.

Everyone wore them, Aaron had given his to Katelyn, except Andrew.

But when winter came, Matt saw Andrew get out of his dorm room with the hoodie on, pulling it tighter against himself when a cold air blast came.

“Not a word.” Andrew deadpanned, pointing at Matt, when he noticed him, before leaving the tower.

Matt smiled the whole day.

Dan.

During one of their dinner bankets, the foxes were placed into pairs and told to socialize with the other teams. The pairs were meticulously design so that ‘the monsters’ (minus Nicky) interacted. This meant every ‘monster’ was placed with an upperclassmen. Andrew got Dan.

So when they Dan were talking to some players from Penn State, the Ravens decided to join.

They began talking sh¡t about Dan’s time as a stripper.

Andrew didn’t say or do a thing, knowing Dan was capable on fighting her own fights, she is the first female captain on Exy, but he does stand to the side, throwing a death glare to them.

But when one of them decide it’s a good idea to slap her in the butt when she is distracted....Andrew intervienes.

He grabs the Raven’s wrist, twisting it before pushing him into a table.

Dan is surprised, to say the least, but she knows that the Raven will get a worst fate if she leaves Andrew like that. 

Calmly, she tells him she is okay and that the Raven didn’t touch her and that he can look and see for himself.

The latter does the trick, Andrew turns his murderous glare at Dan so she turns in place extending her arms showing him that the Raven did nothing to her.

Andrew calms after a while and stands up, glancing at the Raven one more time. 

The rest of the night Andrew does not leave Dan’s side until they head back home. Dan attaches herself to that memory forever. 

Renee.

Renee and Andrew sparred at least once a week, more whenever Andrew was having a bad day.

Such as that moment, Aaron’s trial was just around the corner and Andrew was not having it.

He went to Bee’s twice but it still wasn’t enough, so him and Renee spared.

But today was a specially not good day, Aaron’s lawyer had said that he’d have to speak about what happened that day.

Renee knew that Andrew was far more on his head than n the present so she wasn’t mad when Andrew threw her down to the mat and her hip bumped onto the floor.

For the first time since they spared that day, Renee saw Andrew actually see her.

His eyes were wide, probably surprised of what happened so she reassured him that she was okay and that it didn't hurt much and that she’d had much worse before.

But he didn’t listen to her and got off the mat.

Renee stood up and went for her water bottle, thinking that Andrew had gone to let out some steam alone.

But then he came back with an ice package in hand and gave it to her.

Renee thank him, placed it on her hip and sat near him while he starred to the distance in moral support.

Nicky.

Nicky wasn’t one to get sick often, but when it happened, he really got sick.

So when one day he wakes up with a headache and all of his bones ache, he knows he’s in trouble.

Not wanting anyone to be worried about him, Nicky tries to stand up, just for a blast of nausea hits him and he has to run to the bathroom before he pukes on their bedroom.

When he is done throwing his guts out, he brushes his teeth and walks out to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he gets there, a water bottle is out with a bottle of Pepto-bismol beside it. 

In the middle of his confusion, Andrew and Aaron appear with a thermometer, a blanket and pills.

“Go lay down,” Andrew says with an uncharacteristically softness in his tone.

Nicky complies and walks towards the couch, Andrew protectively trailing behind him with his phone and a blanket.

“I don’t have any class today, Aaron has two in an hour but then he’ll be back. Tea?” Nicky is perplexed at this attention given by his cousins so he is only able to nod and think who were these people and what did they do with his cousins.

The rest of the day, the twins (mostly Andrew) take his temperature, give him his meds, cook for him and help him out whenever he needs it.

Nicky sleeps with a smile that day.

The next day, he feels much better, but because the sickness messed with his feelings, he has an urge to hug his cousins.

He asks for permission and surprisingly, Andrew says yes.

Nicky keeps the hug fast and makes sure he doesn’t make Andrew feel trapped.

He still cries at the memory. 

Aaron.

Out of all the foxes, Aaron is the one with the most difficult things to study. He is in fact studying pre-med.

So during the finals week, he is the most stressed.

There is this one class in which Aaron has been having the most trouble with and if he doesn’t pass the test, he’ll have to repeat the class. So to say that he was stressed was an understatement.

He begins studying for that class a week and a half before the exam is and the day before the exam, he skips gym, morning practice and afternoon practice.

He studies for the exam the whole day and had to be reminded to take breaks for the bathroom and meals constantly.

He is also forced by Andrew to sleep when he woke up at 3 am and Aaron was still awake, studying.

Aaron keeps thinking of the material as he tries to sleep, and isn’t able to until 4 am, he dreams on the material the whole night.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that the sun is much higher than usual, worried, he checks the time on his phone just for his fears to be true, his alarm didn’t sound and he slept through the whole exam.

He doesn’t even care to change and runs to the building. The door to his classroom is closed and the professor is not there.

“Can’t stop thinking about the exam? Me neither.” He hears one of his classmates say behind him.

“I didn’t even do it.” He says through his teeth.

“What do you mean? I saw you there.”

Aaron is confused so he asks more classmates if they saw him, and all of them said that yes, they saw him there.

Hurriedly he got to the tower and confronted Andrew if it was his doing and if he did the exam for him like they did in high school.

“I did.” was Andrew’s only response before walking out.

Aaron got a B⁺ a grade much better than if he had done it by himself.

Kevin.

After Riko died, his and Andrew’s deal could be done, but they had grown close, they had passed so much time together since Kevin escaped Evermore.

Neither of them would say it out loud, but they were each other’s best friend.

So when Kevin learned that his things would be thrown away from the Nest, he went into a spiral.

But when Andrew asked and Kevin couldn’t say why, Andrew made it his mission to know.

Neil had a few assumptions, but when he had been at the Nest, he had been too focused on his injuries that he wasn’t a good resource.

So Andrew contacted someone he never thought he would be speaking to. Jean.

Jean told Andrew of Kevin’s old bedroom and the things Kevin had to hide away from Riko because if he found them, Kevin would be punished. Yet he didn’t know what these secret things were. 

Thankfully, Jean knew where the hiding spot was.

The next day, Andrew took the Maserati in the early morning without a word (Neil knew but he had to act as if he didn’t), and made his way to Evermore.

Once there, he had to sneak inside, but given that the Nest was desolated for classes it was easy.

When Andrew got to where Jean had told him where the hiding spot was, he found a small shoe box.

Opening it, he found three things and Andrew immediately understood Kevin’s spiraling.

When he got back to the tower, he directly went to his dorm. Inside were Neil, Nicky and Kevin watching a game.

Andrew signaled Neil and the latter made Nicky follow him out.

“Where were you? You missed morning practice,” Kevin said as soon as they were alone.

Without a word, Andrew took the shoebox out of his bag and carefully gave it to Kevin, who took a shaky breath at the sight of it.

As soon as it was in Kevin’s hands, he opened it and carefully took the three things which were the last things he had from his mother.

A woman’s ring, a record player and a photograph. 

Tears immediately sprang from Kevin’s eyes and Andrew decided he would give Kevin his space.

“Thank you,” Kevin said as he opened the door, Andrew just nodded feeling a weird warmness in his chest.

Neil.

Andrew shows Neil his love in so many ways, helping him out during panic attacks, reminding him that he’s safe, holding his hand, kissing him, sharing a cigarette in the roof, stroking his hair when they cuddle and so much more.

But the most important thing Andrew does for Neil is letting the latter see his vulnerability and trust him with it.

It starts with simple things, Andrew letting Neil sleep with him in the same bed, cuddle together, sit on Andrew’s lap (and vice versa), etc.

But it slowly begins to increase, let Neil stay whenever he gets a nightmare and/or a panic attack, let Neil take care of him when he gets sick, let Neil cuddle on top of Andrew, let himself seek comfort in Neil, Andrew letting Neil take his armbands off, see and touch them.

It takes a long time, but Neil doesn’t mind, those little things are more than enough for him and he doesn’t expect more from Andrew, but welcomes this little things and holds onto them with all of him.

Bonus:

Wymack. 

Wymack is always threatening his foxes with running marathons and says that their personal stuff is over his pay rate, but oh doesn’t he care for them.

He works hard for them so they can have good things and safe and comfortable area for them, that’s why he had the walls on the showers made.

He loves the foxes, and they love them too.

One morning, he had to organize some piles of paperwork, but he had a stressing week and the night before he hadn’t been able to sleep good, so after a while of organizing paperwork, he decides he deserves a break.

The foxes are supposed to be in class so he doesn’t expect them until the afternoon. He goes to the lounge and lays down on the couch to “rest his eyes”.

He falls asleep almost instantly.

Andrew had forgotten something on the court after their morning practice so he decided to go now, he had finished his classes and knew that Wymack had to organize some paperwork, he was surprised to see the old man asleep.

Andrew could remember his initial fear of the man when he saw him the first time, he was tall, broad and serious, but he didn’t let it show. He had been waiting for the man to do something to him, but instead the man had respected his boundaries and didn’t ask when Andrew broke into his home in the late night and made himself a pot of hot cocoa (which had been bought for this reason).

So quietly, Andrew went to Wymack’s office and organized his paperwork, marking those who were missing one or two things with a post it and leaving right after he was done, not expecting the man to know it was him.

When Wymack woke up and walked back to his office he was surprised to see that his paperwork was organized. He mentally questioned who it was but when he read the post its he immediately knew it was Andrew, he knew all of his children’s handwritings, and made sure he bought Andrew’s favorite  chocolate ice cream.

Abby. 

Abby was the first one, apart from Bee, to see his scars. 

The first time she had tried to say something but she had seen something in his face because he didn’t and let him place the armbands back on.

After that she looked away when he took them off and just glanced at them for a second to make sure there were no track marks before turning around again so he could put the armbands back on.

(She knew there would not be track marks, so she just looked at them so there would be no new ones, he cared for her foxes.)

And during the physical exam, she made sure not to touch him more than necessary. 

Abby checks on Bee asking if he’s okay, she never expects an in depth answer, just a confirmation and she feels relief when Bee tells her that he is getting better.

On one of his sessions with Bee, she suggests Andrew that he should tell someone about his scars, preferably someone who has already seen them. 

Andrew knows what Bee is trying and Bee knows that Andrew knows and Andrew knows Bee knows that Andrew knows.

In the end, he does tell Abby. He keeps it vague and watches her reaction, waiting for a small expression change, but thankfully Abby just listens, and shows no pity, knowing that Andrew would hate it and does not comment.

When he’s done, she just nods and thanks him for telling her and when Andrew leaves, Abby lets the tears she had retained out.

She keeps the truth guarded with her life, glad Andrew trust her enough to say this.

Bee.

It is not a secret that Andrew sees Bee like his mother figure, out of all the woman in his life she was the only one that he didn’t feel the need to be unlike himself, she loved him just the way he was.

It was scary at first, his mind supplied that it would be just like Cass, he just had to wait for the other shoe to come down.

It never did.

So he found himself driving to her office when he needed to understand something or he was just not in a good mental place.

He would also call her when he didn’t have the energy to move.

She was on one of his sides during Aarons trial, helping him keep his cool when he felt like he needed to punch something.

When it had been his turn to say his testimony, he had looked at her and Neil, remembering that they would be with him and that they would show no pity to him.

So the day before Mother’s day, when him and Neil were shopping for clothes, and he saw a coffee mug in the shape of a bee hive that read “To the Bee-st mom” he had to buy it.

The next day he arrives to her office and leaves the cup before leaving without a word.

It fills Bee’s heart when she reads it but knows best than to comment of it on their next session.

But if she uses it everyday and it becomes her favorite mug, no one has to know.

Look at me posting three days in a row, I’m proud of myself ngl. Anyways, have this, hope you like it, I tried my best and this is honestly the longest “headcanon” I’ve ever written.

[dayurno]

great thing that i‘m on my phone 24/7 cause now i can tell you immediately that ivy kandrew???? IVY KANDREW????? i think i am passing away right this second HELLOOOOOOO??????? this is it, this is the good shit, the angsty shit, this is what the people need, what the people want!!!!

in other news. illicit affairs kandrew before neil joins the foxes. just. think about it and suffer a little BUT ALSO renegade. it‘s giving so much kandrew. so, so much. just… is it insensitive for me to say get your shit together so i can love you????? the brainrot is real and i am not gonna do anything about it cause these two are like heroin for me

IVY IS SO BLATANTLY KANDREW. "whos the husband" riko is, and he wants whats only andrews btw

ILLICIT AFFAIRS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ORIGINAL TITLE FOR TNOTG!!!!!!!! clearly i have thoughts and feelings about it. i think personally it fits kevineil a lot too ("tell your friends you're out for a run / you'll be flushed when you return")............ i feel like if evermore is a kandrew album then folklore really takes the kevineil cake (lover is andreil btw)!!!!

also also also. TIS THE DAMN SEASON..... post-canon kevin in the pros kandrew vibes..... (andrew jealousy pit minyard: if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone, i would have asked you) (kevin commitment issues day: we can call it even you can call me baby for the weekend) (the holidays linger like bad perfume, you can only run so far / i escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave?)

also a bit unrelated to kandrew hehe but closure to me is such an andrew song in relation to cass spears. its been a long time but seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain / it wasnt right, the way it all went down / looks like you know that now. when nora sakavic says cass sends him a letter later down the line and andrew never reads it. "yes, i got your letter / yes, i'm doing better / i know that its over, i dont need your closure" "dont treat me like some situation that needs to be handled / im fine with my spite, and my tears, and my beers and my candles / i can feel you smoothing me over"

just you know. andrew minyard man. fucked up little guy

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 24

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

24 - Evermore  ...

“Your dad should have killed you when he had the chance…”

Hailey whimpered, her eyes clenched shut and beads of sweat appearing on her forehead.

“So you want to play hero one more time?” 

She flinched in her sleep, her heart beating out of her chest, so fast that she thought it was going to explode. 

“That works for me.” 

Hailey shot up, screaming. The last thing she saw was the barrel of a gun. She clawed at her chest, trying to get a good breath. “Hailey?” Someone yelled, and then right after, her Aunt appeared in front of her. “Hailey, it’s okay.” Trudy reached out to grab her hand, but Hailey pulled it back, looking at her with scared eyes. 

It had been a month since she had heard those words muttered aloud, but they plagued her dreams frequently. 

The two weeks following that day, all five of them took turns rotating through the police station. Everyday there were new questions, more people to explain things to, more statements to clarify, it was never ending. Then, it just stopped. There was nothing else they could do, they had to wait for trial. And in the meantime, Erin was placed in a psychiatric hold facility, and her lawyers were defending her actions as a symptom as psychosis.

It bothered them all, that technically she was free, all because they could blame her attempted murder on a psychotic break. Especially when Kelly Severide was looking at time. A few days after, two detectives showed up at Hailey’s house, wanting a full recount of the last five months, and that included the night that she was attacked. When Severide was questioned, he had no alibi and he confessed to strangling Hailey. His excuse was that he was threatened the same way that the rest of them were, only in person. He claimed that he knew Erin was alive the whole time, but she threatened to kill his mom and sister if he didn’t cooperate. 

Unfortunately, the only way to corroborate the story for a jury is to prove Erin mentally competent, meaning she was capable of carrying out her threats. To all involved, even Kelly, it was clear that she knew what she was doing, she was a mastermind, but to everyone on the outside, they were just a bunch of teenagers wrapped up in a murder. 

The girl that everyone thought was Erin still hadn’t been identified, they had to dig up the casket for the second time. The only way they were able to ID it the first time was by the previous fracture and bracelet, but there are a lot of people in the Chicago area that have broken their left wrist. 

So, with no new information and the date for the trial to begin still months away, they all lived life normally. Well, as normal as it could be after everything they went through. And normal for Hailey meant waking up every night screaming. 

Trudy looked at her husband, who was standing in the doorway. They shared a look, a very familiar one. They repeated the same steps every night, like some cruel rehearsed dance. Trudy waited patiently for Hailey to calm down, just seated on the floor next to her. “Hailey, sweetie, you’re safe.” She repeated. 

Every night it was the same, Hailey would snap out of whatever daze she was in and apologize profusely. “I’m sorry, I got scared…” She started.

“Shhh,” Trudy said, placing a hand on her leg, “It’s okay.” 

Hailey nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m good, you all can go back to sleep.” She said, glancing at her uncle. 

Trudy just nodded, she learned many nights ago not to fight her on it, “Alright. Goodnight Hailey, we love you.” She said, squeezing her shoulder. 

“Love you too.” Hailey said, watching them retreat back to their room. They left the door open like they always did, Hailey sighed rolling over and grabbing her phone. She sent a quick text to her boyfriend. 

Hailey:      :(

It was a system that they started a few weeks ago. The first few nights Jay would stay up with her on the phone, or she would call him after Trudy and Randy finally left, but the lack of sleep began to play a part in their relationship. So, they decided that every time Hailey had a nightmare (or Jay, he wasn’t clean of them) they would text the other a frowny face, so that in the morning they would know what the other had gone through the night before without having to talk about it. It has proved to be useful.

Hailey laid down again, willing herself to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. Sleep was too vulnerable, so she laid there awake, just waiting for the sun to rise on (hopefully) a better day. 

…

“What do you mean you haven’t picked out a costume?” Kim asked, as Jay slammed his door shut. Like every morning, they were all crowded around his truck, waiting until the last minute to head to class. The gossip still hadn’t died down, they were still the topic of every conversation, so they avoided it as much as they could. 

Hailey shrugged. “I thought we weren’t dressing up.” She said, looking up at her boyfriend, who nodded in agreement. Halloween was tomorrow, and of course Kim had plans for all of them.

“No, I said we weren’t dressing up as the characters from scooby doo…” Kim said, giving Adam a pointed look. 

Adam held up his hands in surrender, “Like I said, I’m sorry, it’s too soon.” He said, stifling a laugh. 

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you all know I’d have to be scooby. And I’m not dressing up like a dog.” He snapped. 

“But Kev,” Adam said, faking a frown. “I thought you were my dawg.” Kevin glared at him, faking a punch as Adam jumped back. 

“Anyway,” Kim started, looking back at Hailey and Jay, and ignoring the antics behind her. “I promised Stella we would all be at her party tomorrow night, you guys will be the only people without a costume.” 

Hailey sighed, “Kim, we will get costumes, I promise.” Kim opened her mouth, but the warning bell cut her off. Hailey smiled, grabbing Jay’s hand. “We’ll see you guys later.” She said, before pulling him away. 

“Please tell me you have costume ideas,” Jay said quietly. 

“Nope.” They rounded the corner, Jay leaning down and stealing a kiss before they entered their classroom. Criminal justice was a little harder to sit through than it was before, but somehow Jay had managed to get his grade up. 

They took their normal seats in the back of the class, waiting for the teacher to begin. “I have an idea,” Jay said, leaning on his hand. 

“Okay?” Hailey said cautiously. 

“I’ll be a firefighter, and you be a Dalmatian.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Hailey scoffed, “No.” 

“Okay. You be the firefighter and I’ll be the Dalmatian.” He said, smirking.

Hailey shook her head, “Try again.” Jay fake pouted, retreating back to his half of the shared desk. 

Finally, their teacher decided to start class, cutting their conversation off for the time being. After about 30 minutes of notes, he passed out an assignment, leaving them to work on their own. Jay turned to face her, smiling. “I’ve got another idea.” He said, Hailey gave him a pointed look. “Squints and the lifeguard from the sandlot.” 

“Why? So every time someone asks us who we are you get to lay on the ground and make me kiss you?” She questioned. 

“Exactly.” He deadpanned. 

“Jay-”

“Okay, okay.” He said, laughing. He loved it when she got all riled up. “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, cause you’re so short-”

“Jay!” She said, smacking his bicep. 

He laughed harder, “Okay, in all seriousness...we can be Jack and Rose from the titanic…” He watched Hailey’s face slowly morph into slight agreeance, “And Kev could be the iceberg.” 

“I’m done with you.” Hailey said shortly, stifling her own laugh. 

Jay laughed at his own joke, watching his girlfriend pretend to be aggravated with him. “You love me, you know it.” 

“Unfortunately…” Hailey said under her breath. She took a deep breath, “What about Danny and Sandy from Grease?” 

Jay smirked, “You in leather pants? Perfect.” 

“You’re hopeless.” 

…

The next day, Hailey sat in Kim’s bedroom getting ready. They had about an hour before the boys were supposed to come pick them up. Kim and Adam were going as Romeo and Juliet, while Hailey and Jay had finally settled on Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Kevin had grouped up with some of the boys from his team, they were going as zombie football players, very original…

“Kim, you’re going to have to do this.” Hailey said, laughing in defeat. 

Kim smiled, taking over for her. She was waiting for her to ask for help, she’d been struggling to french braid her hair for almost twenty minutes. “I got it.” They sat there for a while in silence, Kim carefully laying pieces of blonde hair over the others, she glanced at Hailey in the mirror, noticing the blank look on her face. “How are you doing?”

Hailey’s head snapped up to meet her eyes, she caught her off guard. “Uh,” She shrugged, “I’m okay, I guess…” 

Kim scoffed, shaking her head. “I’ve said that word so many times recently that I’m not even sure it’s a word anymore.” 

“Yeah…” Hailey said, letting her thoughts wander. “I get that.” And she did, it was like she used the word as a shield. It was her response to everything, and she wasn’t okay, not that it was really a secret. None of them were okay, but saying it made it feel like they were. And deception was something worth clinging onto. 

“You know, we never talked about-” 

“We don’t need to.” Hailey said, cutting her off. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “Okay.” She wanted to talk, but she didn’t feel like she had any right to push Hailey to. Not after what happened. “Done.” She said, a few minutes later, taking a step back to admire her work.

“Thanks,” Hailey said with a genuine smile, picking up the jar of flower clips they had bought that morning. “You think I should just put these everywhere?” 

Kim nodded, “Yeah, I think so.” She reached down, clicking shuffle on a playlist, a random Taylor Swift song playing. They were both done talking. 

An hour later, the two of them were sitting in Kim’s kitchen talking to her mom when Jay and Adam arrived. Adam just let himself in the front door, Jay choked on a laugh as he waltzed in like he owned the place. 

The boys appeared in the kitchen, “Honey, I’m home.” He said, passing Kim and hugging her mom. Kim rolled her eyes as they all laughed, Jay’s hand finding Hailey’s back like it always did. He was so happy, even though life was still crazy, he was ridiculously happy. Watching Hailey smile and Adam joke around like he used to (before they used it as a distraction) was so nice, and familiar and just so damn good. 

Hailey peered up at him, grinning as he pecked her lips. “Alright, let’s get a picture so you all can get out of here.” Claire said, ushering them together. Jay stood next to Adam, both of them holding their girlfriends securely against their waists. They all smiled brightly, relaxing after the click. 

They quickly bid their goodbyes, making their way out to Jay’s truck. Hailey slid easily into the passenger seat, despite her nude heels (that she was already regretting), while Adam and Kim got in the back. They pulled out of the driveway, and somehow Adam ended up with aux cord. Somewhere in between an old Maroon 5 song and the Weekend, Jay’s hand found hers on the center console. 

Hailey looked down at it and smiled. It was a simple thing that they did every single time they rode together, but it really symbolized how much things had changed. Hailey thought back to the day that he kept his eyes trained on the road, back when she cut him off when he tried to apologize. It was only two months ago, but they were different, everything was different, everything was better. 

 Jay followed her gaze to their conjoined hands, mimicking her smile. She didn’t have to say anything, he knew exactly what she was thinking. Part of him wishes he could go back and stay with her then, he felt like they had wasted so much time, but the other part of him knew that they were better for it. Neither of them were ready for what they have now, then. And what they have was worth the wait. 

Finally they reached their destination, Jay having the park pretty far away due to how many people were already there. They got out, Jay rounding the truck to help Hailey down, even though she hadn’t needed it in a long time. The four of them headed towards the decent sized house, they could hear the music thumping from outside. Hailey slipped her hand in Jay’s, gripping his forearm. 

Jay noticed the look of discomfort on her face, leaning down. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, eying her. 

Hailey nodded, holding on a little tighter. “Yeah, just don’t want to get lost in the crowd.” Jay nodded, believing her lie. She couldn’t really explain it, but she had a terrible feeling in her stomach and the thought of being lost in a sea of people made her want to throw up. Even though it was over, Hailey still found herself looking over her shoulder and watching out for her. And even though all of that meant she was nowhere near being in a party mood, she wasn’t going to bring everyone else down, they all needed a fun night. 

They made their way through the crowded makeshift dance floor, and found Kevin in a living area near the back of the house where he was sitting with Stella, Conner, Matt and Sylvie. “Hey guys,” He called, jumping up and clapping Adam’s back. 

Stella stood, hugging Kim tightly, “I’m glad you guys could make it.” 

Kim squeezed her, “Me too.”

Stella backed away, touching Hailey’s arm affectionately and giving her a kind smile that she returned. “I know it’s kind of crazy,” Stella laughed, “If you need something or just a break, the keys to the upstairs doors are hidden right under the doors, just inside the rooms.” She glanced at the obvious couples, winking. “I trust you guys.” 

They all nodded, Kim blushing, a chorus of “great” and “thanks” sounding. The group dispersed, the five of them huddling up. “Obviously Hailey and I are gonna stick together, if we get lost, meet back here at midnight and we’ll head out?” Jay suggested.

“Sounds good,” Kev said, nodding.

Adam agreed too. “That works for me.” 

That works for me…

Hailey flinched at those words, instinctively squeezing her eyes shut. Her breath caught in her throat. The image of a pulled gun flashing through her brain. She grimaced, trying to push the thoughts away. “Hailes…” She took another deep breath, doing everything in her power to keep her fear at bay. “Hailes.” Someone said, harsher, snapping her out of her daze. 

“Yeah?” She asked quickly. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “I asked if you wanted a water…”

“Oh,” Hailey shook her head, “No, I’m good, thanks though.” She watched as Kim and Adam slowly disappeared into the crowd, her eyebrowed cinched together. 

Jay stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the rest of the room, “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, concern clear in his bright green eyes. 

Hailey nodded vigorously, “I’m good, I promise.” She said, his face didn’t change. He didn’t believe her. Hailey reached up, pulling him to her level and attaching their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she deepened it, pulling him even closer. Jay did his best not to get lost in the kiss, but with her it was so hard. She pulled away slowly, peering up at him. “Jay, I’m okay.” Kim was right, it didn’t sound like a word anymore. 

Jay sighed, admitting defeat. “Okay.” He laced their hands together, leaning down and kissing her slowly before guiding her to the dance floor. They stood near the edge, Jay’s hand sitting on her hips as they swayed in sync to the fast music. They danced for a while before some of Jay’s teammates interrupted them. 

Hailey stood securely at his side as they spoke, absently listening to the trashy rap music that was playing loudly throughout the room. “Fuck, shit, bitch…” The sound of a gun being cocked rang through the speakers and Hailey screamed. Suddenly the eyes of everyone around her staring at her. She was frozen in place, forcing the terrible memories away, but she couldn’t. 

“Hailey.” Jay said, but her feet had a mind of their own and she was running towards the staircase, her lungs burning, she couldn’t get in a good breath. “Hailey!” Jay called after her, not even bothering to say goodbye to his team before taking off. 

Hailey booked it up the stairs, dropping to the ground in front of the first door she saw, grasping aimlessly for the key. She slumped against the door, tears streaming down her face as she fought to breathe. Jay booked it towards her, crouching down and finding the key easily. He unlocked the door, then swept his hysterical girlfriend off the floor, carrying her into the room and setting her on the bed. She was still heaving in front of him, and Jay placed two hands on either side of her face. “Hailey, Hailey look at me.” He said, but her eyes stayed trained on his chest. “Baby, you’re safe, look at me, please.” She clenched her eyes shut, more tears falling down her face. When she opened them again, they met his and she launched herself into his arms. 

Jay held her to him, rocking them gently as she cried into his neck. “I-I thought-” She stuttered, sobs wracking her body. 

“I know, I know.” He said, trying to calm her. 

“I thought it was over…” She said, and Jay felt his heart clench in his chest. 

He ran his hand through her braided hair, no doubt destroying it. “It is, it’s all over, you’re safe. We’re safe.” For some reason that made her cry harder, maybe because she hadn’t for the past month, she had been bottling up her feelings to protect herself and everyone else. Because even though she was, she hadn’t felt safe in a long time. 

Hailey pulled away after a long time, utterly exhausted. Jay couldn’t take the look of defeat on her safe, she looked so tired, so broken, that it scared him. How could he not have known how much pain she was in? 

She couldn’t bear to look at him, so she kept her gaze fixed on her lap. He placed his hand on her thigh, and Hailey laid one on top of it. She sniffled, using her free hand to wipe the never ending tears from her eyes. “I’m okay.”

…

The following Monday, Hailey sat in the passenger seat of Jay’s truck. After the events of Saturday night, Jay had no choice but to loop in Trudy and Randall, he had to after he had failed to do so before. They spent the rest of the weekend convincing Hailey to see someone, to talk about everything they had been through. 

It was probably the trauma left over from her parents, but the stigma that therapy made you weak was ingrained in Hailey’s mind, and convincing her to make an appointment was no easy task. 

That’s how they ended up sitting in the parking lot of a private practice right after school, Hailey’s leg bouncing nervously up and down. Jay lifted their intertwined hands off the center console, kissing the back of hers. “I’m going to be here waiting, all I ask is that you go in there and try.” He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. 

Hailey smiled softly, nodding. She leaned across the console and kissed him slowly, hoping that she was able to portray just how much love she had for him and trust she had in him through it. Jay pulled away, taking her in. “I love you, Hailey Upton.” 

“I love you, Jay Halstead.” She said. 

“Now, go kick some ass.” He said and she laughed, opening the truck door. She shut it, giving him one last look before walking inside the doors. 

She sat down in one of the waiting room chairs after signing in, a few minutes later an older man with big glasses popped his head out of the back. “Hailey?” 

She stood, “Yes sir.”

The man smiled, “Come with me.” He led her back to an office, gesturing for her to sit on the couch while he sat in the chair across from her. “I’m Dr. Charles, but you can call me Daniel or Dan, or really whatever makes you comfortable.” He explained. 

Hailey nodded, shifting nervously. “So, how does this work?” She asked.

“However you want it to, we can talk or not talk about anything you want.” He said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Okay,” Hailey glanced at the ground, “The-There’s a lot…” 

“That’s okay.” 

Hailey grimaced, finally looking at him. “Where do I start?” She asked.

Dr. Charles smiled. “How about the beginning?”

Hailey sighed, taking a few deep breaths, ready to start confronting all the demons that she had been fighting for so long. 

“Tell me everything.”

...

A/N: This is long but please, please, please read it!!

First, this is the end of this story, but it is not THE end! There will be a sequel and if you want to see a sneak peak, you can find it HERE. I am so so excited to continue exploring this version of these characters, and don’t worry, the next installment will be just as exciting as this one! 

Second, thank you so so so so much to everyone who has shown love to and supported this story. It really means the world to me, you have no idea. This has been such an amazing experience and I have learned so much from writing this, so thank you so much for reading. You guys are truly incredible, and writing has helped me through a tough time in my life. I’m going to say thank you a million time, but thank you, thank you, thank you <3

This story evolved so much lol: in the beginning I had no plan, and then it changed like five times, and we ended up here, so here’s a few things that didn’t make it in.

Nadia was supposed to die in chapter 19, but I decided against it…

I debated Kevin and Stella getting together, don’t hate me for this ahaha

I almost made Kim lose her hearing, but I wasn’t sure I could do the storyline justice with everything else going on

I debated killing Adam (I’M SORRY, i’m sorry…)

And finally (cause you don’t need to know all of my secrets) I ALMOST broke up Upstead at the end

Anyway, there’s some behind the scenes action if you’re interested. 

Back to the point: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME AND THIS STORY, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, and i cannot wait to embark on this next journey together!!

So much love,

Anna

@lissethsrojas @puckluck28 @fuckyeahkillianemma @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @ruzek-halstead @anotheronechicagobog @snowwhite013 @tracysupton @angelsjedi @carissalizz​

[bumblebeeloved]

knowing neil's propensity for simplifying events down to the absolute bare minimum (to a truly unhelpful level), how did that locker room confession go? because i could see him condensing eight years of survival and trauma to two sentences. or because he's never been able to tell the truth he told them a good majority of of it (for neil), feeling at once exhausted and lightheaded from being able to speak so freely.

his heart pounded, knowing that he needed to say this, knowing that he owed his foxes the truth. but the ingrained need to lie, to minimize, to twist everything into pieces of the picture instead of the whole story was still there.

neil took a deep breath.

"my father was nathan wesneski, the butcher of baltimore and right hand man and enforcer for kengo. my mother was mary hatford of the british crime family. i was homeschooled to limit my connection to the outside world, taught from a young age to stay away from cops, not to say anything i didn't have to, and to lie as my father did most of his work out of the house. we had a basement. it had a tunnel so you didn't have to be seen going in or carrying body parts out. lola," he pause to glance at his hands. "she was in charge of getting rid of the bodies, and she was the best. i don't think they've ever found one.

exy was the only time i ever saw kids my age, and we had to go an hour outside of baltimore before we found a coach who hadn't heard of my father. who didn't know that the men came with us came armed. so when i was ten and i went to evermore, met riko and kevin, got to play, i was too excited to give a shit about why. halfway through the game, we were called to the tower."

neil barely registered kevin tensing.

"my father was called the butcher for a reason. he had a cleaver he let get rusty. it took several swings to get through bone like that. it was his favorite method of... 'getting people to talk.' they never lived after. we'd always have parties at the house to cover the noise. but that night was the first time i saw it in person. i just remember knowing i couldn't make a move or a sound, and that afterward, my mom was pissed because i had blood on my uniform.

she woke me up not long after we got home that night and forced me into the basement. we left out of the tunnel and ran. idk how long we ran for but i was starting to slow down by the time we made it to the car in the woods.

we never talked about anything else after that. just names, covers, rules to keep us safe, where we were going next. she never told me why we ran, and i never asked.

there would be months, years where we never saw my father's men. and then there were several times too close together. they caught up to us again in seattle. my father was there this time. mom and i got split up, but made it back to the car later. she told me to drive. it wasn't until california that i realized how bad she was hurt. she never said. she had me pull over, and made me promise to keep running. she bled out.

i buried her there. i hitchhiked to millport. it was the longest i'd stayed anywhere since we'd started running. i should've gone already. but i joined exy again there, something my mom never would've let me do. when kevin came and i realized he didn't recognize me, it was too good to be true. when coach told me about the moriyamas, my being at evermore the night we ran made more sense, but i thought it was another business transaction between the two families. i didn't know my father worked for the moriyamas. i didn't know until the first banquet. by that point, i realized if i was going to die, i'd rather it be here where at least someone would remember me, know i was gone, than in the middle of nowhere with nothing. i wasn't going to last the year, i might as well do what i loved."

someone let out a quiet gasp (nicky, probably), but neil couldn't look up to see who it was if he was to go on.

"if i survived, i was going to the fbi. i couldn't... i couldn't keep running anymore. the only thing i wanted was finals. the championship.

riko had me come to evermore to sign on as a raven. the night we ran was my tryout for them. i was supposed to be 3, not jean. if i didn't make the cut, my father was to kill me. the moriyamas still consider me misplaced property. they tattooed me preemptively, and riko gave me back my natural hair and eyes to force me out of hiding even more.

my birthday surprise was from lola. i started getting a countdown then. it was the day the judge agreed to an early release for my father, who had gotten caught in seattle. i ignored the fact that it was him, hoping it was riko trying to scare me. he wasn't supposed to get out for a while.

after the bringhamton game, lola called. she said i was to go with them. the security guards that night were romero and jackson, her brother and her colleague. they both had guns. i couldn't say anything to you guys. i didn't know they staged a riot also."

neil's leg started bouncing, and he paused, unsure of how to continue. no one moved.

"they didn't know my mom had died and needed to make sure." he flexed his hands, trying not to let the memories overwhelm him. "later, they transferred me to a cop car. created a scene at the house i grew up in. took me in through the tunnel we'd escaped through. since the transaction never took place, it was up to my father to... take care of me. he was about to start when a shootout broke out. i think they came in through the tunnel, but they shot lola, captured nathan. my uncle stuart had made a deal with the fbi. he was supposed to capture nathan alive, but stuart shot him after finding out my mom was dead. stuart's men left and left me, so that he could go make a deal with the moriyamas. the fbi took me to the hospital, and tried to get me to talk, but i wouldn't say anything without seeing you first. you all know this part.

the agents stopped trying to get me into witness protection, and had me sign paperwork. i will officially be neil josten now."

even as he said it, even as his head was still filled with gunshots and screams, and his hands hurt, he couldn't help the smirk at that statement.

neil abram josten.

[nekojitachan]

Okay, so, the urge to write this hit me (maybe in part because of the new fic). Though I’ve been thinking of it off and on since I wrote it... two or three years ago? I finally got back to it. Raven!Andrew soulmate fic with Raven!Neil (Nathaniel). First part can be found here (I managed to find it).

Uhm, warnings for the Nest (vaguely) and for threats of non-con (that are not carried out). Mention of Nathan, too.

******

Andrew felt a manic, medicated smile spread across his face when Aaron chose not to sit next to him in the Intro to Biology class they’d both signed up for; he was tempted to throw a pen at his twin’s head before he slumped down in his seat and barely paid any attention to what was a blow-off class for him. As soon as the bell rang, he was out the door and waited in the hallway for Aaron to come out. When his brother cautiously stepped outside, he grabbed onto Aaron’s left arm and dragged him aside.

“What, no brotherly love today?” Andrew asked with a bright (false) grin. “Do I stink? I swear I showered after morning practice.” The other students gave them a wide berth, especially when they caught sight of Andrew’s black and red track jacket that all the Ravens had to wear outside of the Nest.

Aaron cursed beneath his breath as he shook his head, then switched to German. “Look, it’s for the best, okay? Just leave me alone.”

“Why?” Andrew’s eyes narrowed as he thought about Riko. “Did someone say something to you?”

Aaron ran his right hand through his hair, which was shaggier than Andrew’s (than his ‘nice’, Raven-styled haircut). “Do any of the other students talk to you? Sit next to you?” When Andrew scoffed at that, Aaron scowled. “It’s not because you’re an asshole, but because everyone here leaves the Ravens alone, it’s like you’re part of some special clique and they don’t like anyone messing with the status quo even if they’re a Raven’s brother. So just… call me or something, maybe we’ll get together on the weekends someplace away from campus, but I can’t chance losing this scholarship. I’m sorry.” Aaron gave him a casual wave as he walked away.

Andrew stood there for a minute as bitterness filled him at how easily Aaron cast him aside, focused on himself as always. It didn’t matter that Andrew had crossed the country for him, had risked his own life to get rid of Tilda for him, had joined the Ravens… well, partially for him.

The asshole hadn’t even managed to get hold of any alcohol for him yet.

He was late to his next class, an American History one, but the professor didn’t bat an eye at his arrival even though she’d chewed out another student last week for doing the same thing. Andrew barely paid attention to what was being said again, confident that he’d pass everything like he always did.

Once the class was over, it was time to head back to the Nest, what joy. He ran into Ben on his way to the stadium and basically ignored his ‘partner’ the entire time. Ben was long used to it by then, and appeared happy when they came across other Ravens, ones who would actually talk to the sophomore.

They spent time before afternoon practice working on their class assignments, which never took long for Andrew to complete. He spent the rest of the break reading through the ridiculously long email Nicky had sent him (why did his cousin bother now that he was back in Germany) and glancing through the stats on the Northeastern Huskies, the team the Ravens were to play that Friday. The Huskies weren’t in the overall top three for the NCAA Division I, but they were for the Ravens’ region so it was considered an important game.

Well, by everyone but Andrew.

Practice was the usual ordeal, was Riko acting as if he was the boss of everyone as he barked out drills and plays, as he expected to be thrown the ball as if he was the only striker out on court. It was Tetsuji watching everything with his emotionless, beady eyes as if he was a starving vulture, quick to lash out with his cane at the slightest mistake. It was Nathaniel acting as if Andrew didn’t exist at all.

Andrew was so tempted to say to hell with them all and head off campus to find the nearest liquor store, but he wouldn’t risk Nathaniel showing up the next day beaten again, or Aaron losing his scholarship.

(He didn’t care about Riko or Tetsuji fucking with him, was more than strong enough to handle whatever they threw at him, but refused to let others be punished in his place.)

Instead, he remained in the goal and blocked almost all of Riko’s shots on it just to annoy the asshole.

(He thought he saw Nathaniel smile once when Riko stalked off in anger, but the expression was gone a moment later.)

The rest of the week was spent with Tetsuji and Riko pushing the Ravens to be perfect (or damn near it) by Friday’s game, to memorize the Huskies’ stats and previous games. Considering that it was only the second game of the season, Andrew took to glaring at the soul mark hidden beneath his left armband; he didn’t believe in regret, not exactly… but he had some rather negative thoughts over Riko and Kevin bringing Nathaniel with them when then came to recruit Andrew.

The campus was festooned with black and red (remove the latter and it would fit Andrew’s mood perfectly), with students wearing Ravens jerseys. Most wore Riko’s and Kevin’s, but Andrew rolled his eyes when he saw Aaron sport his; the moron gave him a brief wave and a nod in acknowledgement, then went to sit with a group of what appeared to be new friends.

How nice for him.

Andrew felt his lips twitch then tug back into a mirthless grin when the loose sleeves of the black and red jersey that Aaron was wearing revealed that the black mark on Aaron’s left forearm was still a shapeless blob, that his twin hadn’t found his soulmate yet. Ah, so only Andrew had been inflicted with that particular curse as of yet, though Aaron was like Nicky and actually looked forward to finding his ‘other half’.

The fool.

Soon enough it was time to return to the Nest, to suffer through yet another recap of the Huskies’ players and probable game strategy (which he’d long ago memorized) before a quick lunch and then ordered to get ready for the game. Andrew noticed that Nathaniel wasn’t with the team for once, and managed to hold on to his curiosity until he noticed a man who appeared similar to the young backliner (his soulmate) stride along the outer ring; he was dressed in an expensive suit which was tailored to fit a muscular build, his dark red hair stylishly cut short (and lacking any type of curl), his eyes the same arresting pale blue as Nathaniel’s. Yet they were utterly lacking of emotion when they glanced out at court… and seemed to linger in Andrew’s direction for a few seconds.

Andrew nudged Ben’s left foot. “Who was that?”

Ben appeared stunned that he’d been asked a question. “Eh? Who?” He glanced in the direction Andrew nodded and frowned. “Oh, that’s Nate’s dad, he shows up now and then, usually on a big game day. Comes before the game starts and always leaves right after.” His frown deepened as he gazed at his racquet. “I don’t think they get along well, Nate’s always withdrawn after his visits and….”

Andrew did some frowning of his own. “And?”

Ben jumped a little at his question and pitched his voice lower. “I wouldn’t say anything, but you’re his soulmate. You’ve seen his scars.” Andrew’s jaw clenched at that statement. “Sometimes after his dad visits, he has a new one.” Ben pointedly looked away after that.

It took a minute or two for Andrew to get the urge to go after the man and bash his head in with his racquet under control (the fact that the abusive bastard had been followed by obvious bodyguards helped just the tiniest bit).

(It also raised the question of who the hell was Nathaniel’s father, what was he doing at Castle Evermore, and why Tetsuji allowed him to abuse one of his most talented players?)

Andrew was distracted from thoughts of violence by Tetsuji ordering the Ravens to warm up and participate in drills as Evermore slowly filled up with eager fans. That wasn’t entirely true as he did feel inclined to smash his racquet into one preening Riko Moriyama, busy mugging for the cameras and fans, and yet again wondered just how incompetent the doctor was who put him on his ‘lovely’ meds.

Maybe Aaron could get a nice lawsuit out of him eventually ‘snapping’ when the inanity of it all finally drove him to bash everyone’s heads in.

A boy with a heavy stick, a ton of issues and forever increasing anger management problems could dream, couldn’t he?

He was actually grateful for the damn game starting, just because it meant that soon it would be over. Andrew was slated to guard the goal in the second half, and so got to sit bored on the bench while a bunch of idiots ran around on the court.

At least, until a Huskie sub striker (#17, Donaldson, junior) seemed to grow annoyed at Moreau blocking him from the Ravens’ goal and swung his racquet into the backliner’s side, right below where the protective padding ended. Part of Andrew nodded in approval of the nasty and effective blow while another was annoyed that he wasn’t the one to land it.

Oh, and that it delayed the game’s end while Moreau was checked and carried off the court.

It was clear that the Huskies hoped to take advantage of the Ravens losing their number one backliner to an injury, but the team was composed of some of the best Exy players in the division. Hebig and Federov managed to do a decent job of defense in Moreau’s place, so Andrew didn’t have to work too hard once he was out in the goal; he only let a couple shots through, with the final score being 12-7.

The stadium erupted into cacophony when the final buzzer rang out, with the Ravens smug over their victory and the Huskies disgruntled. Andrew didn’t give a damn, he merely wanted to shower then sleep, done with Exy for the time being.

Riko and Kevin were expected to do their preening for the camera bullshit, but Andrew noticed how an excited Federov went up to Riko before the asshole left and talked to him, a huge leer spreading across his face when Riko nodded.

Something about that expression made Andrew’s skin crawl (it wasn’t the sweat drying on it or his drenched uniform); it sunk in when he was in the shower scrubbing clean.

Federov’s expression resembled Drake’s when he’d come into Andrew’s room at night.

By the time he rinsed the soap away, dried off and put on clothes, Federov was nowhere to be found. Andrew didn’t see any of the male Ravens missing (other than Riko, Kevin and Moreau), so that left the women and… and Nathaniel.

Shit, Nathaniel, whom Federov would stare at from time to time. Whom Federov would try to talk to, but Moreau always interrupted him and pulled his partner away. Andrew thought it was just Moreau being a dick, but now….

He broke into a run towards Nathaniel’s room, and was grateful for once that there weren’t any locks on the doors in the Nest as he threw the door open.

Federov had a struggling Nathaniel pinned to the bed, hand raised to hit him (hit him again, judging from Nathaniel’s bruised face and bleeding lip). The bastard looked up in time for Andrew to punch him on the cheek, which knocked him aside, and yelped in pain as he was hauled off the bed and thrown to the floor, where his ribs were stomped on twice. Hard.

“Stah- ah! Stahhp,” the bastard screeched as Andrew kicked him once more for good measure, only to find himself pulled off balance by Nathaniel.

“Stop it,” Nathaniel said, his voice weak and a bit slurred from the split lip. “You’ll get in trouble.”

“Like I give a shit.” Yet Andrew found himself unable to look away from his battered soulmate, from the hopelessness in Nathaniel’s eyes and the blood on his face; while he was distracted, Federov scurried out of the room like a four-legged crab and slammed the door shut behind him. Andrew clicked his tongue at the thought of having to track down the bastard to slit his throat before he returned his attention back to Nathaniel. “Why’d you stop me?”

“Because Riko would be mad,” Nathaniel said as he slumped back on the bed. “It’ll just make things worse.”

“Worse than someone raping you?” Nathaniel flinched at that but didn’t say anything, just closed his eyes and huddled into a small ball, his black sweatshirt torn to reveal some of the awful scars on the upper right part of his chest, including one which looked like an iron burn on his shoulder.

Andrew felt something turbulent scour through his chest at the sight, felt it rail against the drug in his blood, and spun around on his left heel then stalked into the small bathroom attached to the room where he wet a couple washcloths with cold water and grabbed a towel. When he returned to the bedroom, Nathaniel watched him with a wary gaze as he approached the bed.

“For your face,” he said as he held out the washcloths. “You might want to do something about the swelling.”

Nathaniel was still for a few seconds before he uncoiled enough to accept them. “Jean will-“ He winced when he must have realized that his partner was stuck for the night in the medical department.

“Will what?” Andrew prodded as he smiled, jealousy and anger straining at the chemical chains the damn drug forced upon his impulses. “What’s he gonna do, hmm?”

“Yeah.” Nathaniel wrapped his arms around himself and appeared younger than seventeen years old. “There’s… there’s icepacks in the minifridge.”

Andrew glanced around and found the fridge on the other side of the room, by what he assumed was Moreau’s desk; when he opened it, he found it stocked with a couple bottles of water and several icepacks. Huh, seemed they were prepared for a few booboos, how interesting.

He went back to the bathroom and grabbed a couple hand towels to wrap the icepacks in, and returned to the room to find Nathaniel gingerly wiping the blood from his face. Once it was cleaned up, he handed over the icepacks and got up to grab the large sweatshirt (Moreau’s) which was draped over the back of the nearby chair and threw it on Nathaniel’s bed. “I’m spending the night here.”

Nathaniel’s eyes (well, the right one, the left was swelling shut) widened at that. “I’m fine! You can-“

“I’m not leaving in case the asshole decides to come back,” Andrew stated as he dropped down on Moreau’s bed. “You willing to be smacked around some more?”

That earned him a virulent glare. “You’re the asshole. And how do I know you’re not gonna… gonna take his place, huh?” For all of Nathaniel’s harsh words and nasty looks, his slender fingers plucked at the sweatshirt he’d draped over himself as if it was a safety blanket.

Someone didn’t have a lot of faith in him, did they? Andrew didn’t blame his soulmate, not with everything he learned about the Nest with each passing day. “Because I’m not like anyone you’ve met before,” he said as he kicked off his sneakers and stretched on top of the duvet.

Nathaniel scoffed loud enough that his throat had to ache. “They all say things like that,” he mumbled as he pulled on the sweatshirt, his gaze downcast. “That they’re special, that they’ll treat you nice, that it’ll be wonderful.” He rocked back and forth once the shirt was on, his eyes unfocused as if he was remembering something and the words sounding rote as if they were someone else’s. “It’s nothing but lies.”

Andrew remembered Nathaniel’s father, the man with the emotionless eyes, and wondered if Nathaniel’s parents were soulmates as well. He wondered if they were one of the pairs who served as cautionary tales, as reminders that not all soulmates had happy endings.

He wondered if that’s what Nathaniel had been talking about when he accused Andrew of being just like ‘him’ when Andrew had let his frustration slip, back in the breakroom.

(Why Nathaniel was so comfortable with a man who wasn’t his soulmate.)

Andrew once again struggled with his drug-addled emotions, with the urge to break things, to stomp out of the small, black-walled room and the Nest and Edgar Allan, to carve off the damn soul mark from his arm and… and the thought of leaving Nathaniel defenseless stopped him cold. Instead, he clicked his tongue and rolled over onto his side until he faced the wall. “Shut up and go to sleep.”

Nathaniel muttered something in Japanese, but got up a few minutes later to go into the bathroom, and several minutes after that shuffled back onto his bed and turned off the light. Andrew lay on the bed and finally relaxed when he heard his soulmate’s breathing slow about half an hour later.

He didn’t get much sleep that night, not when he waited for Riko or Federov to break into the room to take Nathaniel from him.

Nathaniel gave him an incredulous look in the morning when all he did was climb off Moreau’s bed, go into the bathroom to take a piss and then leave, desperate for coffee and his medication (not necessarily in that order). He stopped by his room first to take a pill and was on his way to one of the break rooms for caffeine when he had the dubious joy of running into a smiling Riko.

Warning bells went off immediately in his sleep-deprived head, because if Riko appeared happy about something? It rarely was good for anyone but Riko.

“Good morning,” Riko all but purred as he blocked Andrew moving down the hall.

“Not until I have my coffee,” Andrew muttered as he stared toward the break room, determined to walk past the asshole.

“Ah, not quite yet.” Unfortunately, Riko was nimble of foot and one hell of a determined asshole. “I want to talk to you about last night.” When all Andrew did was grunt in response, Riko’s left eye twitched and his smile slipped slightly. “You may be pleased to know that Jean has been declared fit to play in this Friday’s game, after a couple days of light practice. That’s good because Lev will need a few days to recover from your… disagreement last night.”

Andrew focused his attention on the manipulative asshole. “From me ‘disagreeing’ with him raping Nathaniel?”

Riko’s nose scrunched as if he’d heard something disagreeable. “You’re new to the team so you don’t understand how certain things work. And that’s how if someone does very well during a game? They get something nice as a reward.”

Rage flooded through Andrew, made his hands twitch to wrap around Riko’s throat at that ‘reward’ bit despite the latest pill; he only resisted as he thought about Aaron. “Nathaniel isn’t a ‘reward’,” he forced past teeth clenched tight.

The look bestowed upon him was one of immense pity. “There’s so much you don’t know, rookie, including how wrong you are about that.” When Andrew’s hands clenched into fists, Riko wisely took a step back. “But that’s not to say that he can’t be your reward, right? After all, he’s your soulmate,” Riko taunted.

“I don’t-“ About to spit on Riko’s offer, something in Andrew made him stop. “What do you mean?” Was this a way to keep Nathaniel safe? Out of Federov’s reach?

Riko’s smile took on a predatory edge. “I’ll admit, I was skeptical when Kevin claimed you were this amazing goalkeeper, but I’ve seen your ability.” Now the smile was wiped away by something resembling annoyance. “When you bother, that is. So here is what I’m proposing. You shut down the goal while you’re out on court during the game? Nathaniel is yours.”

Andrew was quiet as he thought about that, as he thought about his soulmate being safe. “I can’t always guarantee a complete shutdown, not against some teams.” When Riko opened his mouth to argue, he held up his hand. “Up to three goals, and only during the top three teams,” he bargained. It meant he’d have to push himself, would have to work for it (dammit)… but if it meant that Nathaniel would be safe….

He was such an idiot, wasn’t he? No matter how smart he thought he was, how he’d learned his lesson the hard way, here he was willing to bleed out for a pretty face and wide blue eyes.

(For someone who might be as fucked up as him.)

(For his other half.)

“Two goals,” Riko countered, “and Nathaniel is all yours, no one else is to touch him.” Then he laughed, the sound more cruel than amused. “Well, by a Raven at least.”

“He’s mine,” Andrew bit out as he stepped into Riko’s personal space.

There was a flash of fear in the asshole’s eyes before he flashed his usual wide grin and stepped back. “There’s pre-existing claims on our dear Nate, best get used to it.” Riko gave a mocking laugh as he walked away. “You’re so out of your league, Doe.”

Andrew brushed aside the reference to his previous life as he stared figurative daggers into the asshole’s back (oh for them to be real). Once Riko was out of sight, he headed to the break room for a much-deserved mug (or three) of coffee.

It was when he was on his second refill when he realized that he desperately needed answers, and that they most likely would only come from one of his least liked Ravens – Moreau.

*******

So now I’m trying to figure out - is the Perfect Court 1-10 or 1-9???? Obviously when I wrote this, I thought it was 1-9, but I’ve seen so much artwork since then that shows Andrew as ‘10′ so....

Probably back to the new fic unless another prompt/old fic snatches my attention. Though I’m sure I’ll get back to this at some point because ANDREW AND JEAN.

[kevinbirthday]

Critically analyzing The All For The Game series

While this may seem like a hit piece on the books I will say that I absolutely adore the books beyond even my own comprehension. I own multiple pieces of fan merch of characters created by Nora and this series got me through incredibly tough times. I enjoy being critical of the media I enjoy so this is in no way meant to hate on Nora or drive you away from reading the books. The series will forever have a special place in my heart I am just a cynical person lol.

The all for the game series really is amazing, though there is subpar writing and glaring plot holes at times. Nora took lots of ideas I’ve never really seen in any other YA novel and ran with them, hell she even had a queer couple that didn’t exist solely for queer bait. I just feel like Nora had lots of ideas and there were so many concepts and half-baked notions of what should happen that not all of them were executed correctly.

I also think her putting out the extra content that contradicts the books multiple times was a poor choice. Yes, it’s great to get questions answered about things but I think if you have to constantly go back in and explain why something happend or when, then you should have spent more time on the books development. I have strong opinions when it comes to the extra content. Part of me believes it shouldn’t exist past answering a few questions about the books, not 300 paragraphs of random reiterations of the storyline and extra side stories that contradict canon.

I think a lot of the series was based on contrived plot points and driven by too many plot devices to make the story seem like a linear progression to me. The readers of this should also read the books on their own and form their own opinions on the book. Nora doesn’t alway do things incorrectly and I will never claim she’s a terrible writer on the basis that she self published the entire series. The books were never professionally polished and I think that is part of what gives this series so much charm. Suspension of belief is needed to read this series and it does inspire feelings of “What the actual hell. Did that just happen?!” Which honestly just shows the creativity of the series and proves that you can write a book full of morally grey characters and it be successful. As stated earlier I give Nora props for never making the main characters queer relationship be the entire focus of their exsistance. She did drop the ball on that when writing Nicky Hemmick’s character.

I also believe that while Nora was amazingly creative with this series, she created a whole new sport and badass characters for Pete’s sake that’s talent. I also Nora didn’t handle many things correctly or with the tact needed to pull certain things off.

Andrew and his whole meds situation paints medication and mental illness in an extremely poor light. I think she just wanted to throw something in to cover all her bases instead of researching pills. I agree it’s not far fetched to say that Andreil never say I love you in terms of vocalizing the words to each other because of the fact that they have their own private version of the words.

What I do find extremely far fetched is that Andrew never ‘heals’. Andrew Minyard goes to therapy even after the mandatory sessions are finished. Andrew agreed to go to joint therapy sessions with his brother to work their issues out! Tell me this man is not healing. Andrew will never not have bipolar disorder because it’s not something to be cured and he most definitely has C-PTSD after all he’s gone through. Those things can’t be cured but they can be managed by having a support system, going to therapy, and talking though issues within your family system. What is Andrew Minyard doing? Exactly that. He’s managing his symptoms which is part of healing, sure he’ll never be ‘normal’ but he’s healing as a person. The mindset that someone will never heal bc of their csa and mental health issues are ‘too bad’ is literally the worst mindset to have and is so damaging!

I also understand that you have to call on some suspension of belief when it comes to Andrew’s sentencing after he protected Nicky during the fight at Eden’s, but the only case I’ve ever personally seen someone be forced to take mind altering medication after a fight and not be sent to a psych ward was in the case of a combative schizophrenic and hurt someone and the person they attacked pressed charges. I find the whole Andrew on medication ordeal both infuriating and incredibly confusing.

Another confusing thing to me is the entire characterizaton of Nicky Hemmick. Can we all agree that it was incredibly uncomfortable? He was written as an extremely stereotypical gay man with rapey ‘undertones’. Who am I kidding with undertones he shoved drugs down Neil’s throat with his tounge and can’t take no as an answer. This being said, I do love Nicky’s character. I just don’t think that someone who was subjected to conversion therapy no matter if they had some to help them work through their internalized homophobia, would act so flamboyantly during the 2000’s. There were still commercials about not calling people gay as a insult, Paris Hilton had to tell people to use the word stupid instead. He was also one of the only explicitly stated characters as being a person of color and while I’d never say that Nora had racist intent behind that writing him as an extremely predatory gay man always rubbed me in an uncomfortable way.

At least he had some semblance of a back story though, due to Mr. Unreliable Narrator Neil Josten it felt like some characters were there just to prove that character’s besides the monsters, a few of the upperclassmen, and riko existed. Riko’s villain status seemed like it was something to make more of an immediate threat to Neil than Nathan. We had to have some reason for Kevin to be with the foxes and to go to a team so ranked down other than just Wymack being his father. What was Riko really there for other than to tell Neil that the Moriyama’s think he’s their property and then get shot in the head? I also think his death was just to wrap things up neatly and provide closure to the reader that all the ‘bad guys’ are gone. Evermore mostly served to further Neil and Andrew’s relationship and to provide extra drama. Nathan was too out of site out of mind to provide any suspense or drama for the readers. Riko was more of a plot device than a character in my personal opinion. We also only have the bare bones of almost all of the upperclassmen’s back stories. All we really know about the upperclassmen is that Dan used to be a stripper and her stage name was Hennessy, Matt’s dad sucked and he was an addict in the past and Andrew was the reason he went to rehab, Renee was in a gang and is a reborn Christian, Allison had an ed and was disowned and who cares about Seth because he was just killed to bring the foxes together. Was the team so dysfunctional Nora had to kill a man to get them to work together? I feel like his death could have been avoided and was completely meaningless. I enjoyed the the books but at times it was a complete information overload and I can’t even imagine how Neil felt in the situation when I as a reader will never had to deal with that firsthand.

[lyndiscealin]

Akio IV- Ending

Arthur sat down on the low coffee table in front of the couch.

“They called you Riko.”, he offered, clearly trying to stay calm and collected. Riko looked away when his brain produced an image of blood running down from a cut on his cheek. The urges were stronger since he had woken up and he had to call his therapist for new sessions before this got even worse. He didn’t want to hurt Arthur even if his brain suggested otherwise. He had dreamed about it a few days ago. Arthur strapped to a bed, screaming in agony while Riko had sliced him open. He had woken with a fucking boner and had never felt so dirty and bad in his life. Technically he knew he should feel worse about what he had done in his past, but hurting Arthur that way was a far more horrible thought.

“Yeah”, he answered, drowning the urge in the sadness he felt, not trying to think about the possibility of just holding Arthur in this apartment. Thankfully he wouldn’t even be able to do that. “I was called Riko until I was twenty.”

Arthur clearly waited for him to go on, but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how or where to begin.

“So… want to tell me why they did this to you? And why you wouldn’t tell the police?”

Did Arthur just want to hear it from him or did he really not know? Riko wasn’t sure, but it didn’t matter either way. He had to tell him. Minyard had left him to bury this last knife into himself. He knew that it wasn’t sheer luck that let him survive. If Minyard or Josten had wanted him dead, he would be.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. I… I’m sorry I can’t feel sorry for keeping this from you. I was selfish, but I don’t regret it. I’m just… I’m just sorry for wasting your time.”

“What are you talking about?”

Riko wasn’t able to look at him, so he looked at the ceiling instead and word for word hammered nail after nail into his own coffin:

“I was born into a mafia family. Only first sons were allowed to the main family branch so I was cast out and adopted by my uncle. With him I led an Exy cult. Maybe you heard of Riko Moriyama and the Nest and Evermore. That was me… my brother faked my death and kicked me out of the family entirely. I did… I did horrible things to people… to children. Josten scars on his face aren’t from me, but a lot of others on his body are.”

He swallowed but didn’t stop, because he wouldn’t be able to say anything again if he did. Maybe these were the last words he would ever speak. It certainly were the last he would speak to Arthur.

“I… tortured… them. Josten wasn’t my only victim, not even the worst one. On some days it’s still hard to feel bad about what I’ve done. On some days it’s just like watching a movie and let myself be amused by all the gore that is shown. On some days it is still just… entertaining. I… I am a monster. I would undo all of what I did if I could, but I can’t and I can’t even undo how I feel about it completely.”

Arthur didn’t say anything to any of it, so Riko dug his grave deeper and deeper still.

“On some days I want to hurt you”, he whispered. “See you bleed. Hear you scream. Obviously I am able to control it now, but it is still there. The urge is still there. I’m just a monster waiting for an excuse to wake again. So… yeah. I didn’t tell the police because I deserved what they did. I honestly thought they would kill me, but I think being in pain for the rest of my life is even better. I… I tried being happy with you, but I only have been selfish again. All this… work you had with me. Especially these past weeks. I should have told you sooner. I… shouldn’t have let you near me in the first place. I should have stayed alone. I’m sorry for taking two years from you. I really am. I thought it would be okay to be happy, but of course it isn’t. I’m sorry Arthur. I really am.”

For a very very long eternity it was eerily quiet. Riko’s words were gone and it felt like they would never come back to him. He wouldn’t need them anymore after this. The thought of a therapist suddenly felt childish. He didn’t need one. When the urge would get stronger again, he just had to let it out on himself until he one day would cut too deep.

“I have to go do some grocery shopping.” Arthur’s voice was very quiet. Was he afraid? He should be. He should be afraid of him, of the monster he was. Everyone should.

Riko just nodded and a few moments later, the apartment fell silent again. He would live in this silence now. It was exactly like the time after the nest. He could still remember the days when he suddenly had been alone and nothing.

He knew how to do this. He knew how to wash clothes and how to take care of himself. He didn’t know how to cook, but he could learn. He had been able to learn Exy to a perfection, it would be laughable if he couldn’t learn how to chop things and how to cook them so they would become a meal at the end.

But he didn’t know why to do any of it anymore. There was no practice he had to do good at, no team meetings with his team or the professional teams he was playing for. No training for court, no teammates who would fall upon him like vultures as soon as he showed some kind of weakness. There was no father or brother to impress, no one who gave a shit about him. Not that there ever had been anyone. Kevin and Jean, his brain provided unhelpfully and he nearly laughed about that nonsense. Kevin’s interest in him didn’t go farther then his worth as an Exy player and Jean… Jean… Jean wasn’t even worth thinking about. He had been a toy, nothing more. You didn’t cry if a toy didn’t love you back, what a stupid sentiment.

He didn’t leave his apartment for a long time. It felt wrong, going out alone. So he never learned anything, because he didn’t have things to shop. He just ordered food.

When he lay awake at night, he watched the wall opposite of his bed. The wall where Kevin’s bed should have been, but it was empty now. Just space that wasn’t used and never would be. If he just hadn’t thrown that fit. If he just hadn’t broken Kevin’s hand. Everything would be fine now. Wesninski would have died somewhere on the road like he had been supposed to and he and Kevin would have played court. Everything would be perfect now. If only these assholes hadn’t thought to pitch Kevin against him. To find out who was better. Idiots. Incompetent fuckers. they made him realise that Kevin had been better, that Kevin held back. Kevin Kevin Kevin, he couldn’t hear anything else. Everything had been about him. No wonder his father hadn’t been interested in him - the second best. Second all his life. Second son, second best at Exy… disposable. A failure. Not even a honourable name had been given to him. Even his gender had been only the second best. If he had turned out to be a girl, he could have stayed in the main family. Second in everything. He hadn’t been able to take it anymore.

A month in his new apartment and he smashed it to pieces. He started with his dishes and cutlery then sliced his upholstery open, ripped his cushions and pillows apart.

It had been his neighbours who called the police because of the noise.  When they found him the apartment was a mess of broken dishes, dirty ripped up clothes and he had several cuts on his hands from god knew where. He hadn’t washed himself for nearly two weeks and in his blind rage he had attacked the officers. He spent the night in a hospital and was then transferred to a psychiatric clinic. From there on it was years of medication and therapy and slowly… very slowly he learned what he had done and it got worse and worse before it got better even slower. A lot of therapists had given up on him, but at some point he had searched for new ones himself. 

At some point he had wanted to get a better person. He clawed his way out of everything at some point, was off medication for a few years now and had finished therapy shortly before he had met Arthur.

He didn’t really think that his boyfriend would really come back, but when the sun began to set he heard his front door click open again. It had been hours and he half expected to see Minyard or Josten again or maybe even Jean. Jean… seeing him as an actual human being had taken ages, partly because he subconsciously had known what that would entail. He hadn’t lied when he had told Arthur that on very bad days he still felt amusement about what he had done to others, but on his better days… on his better days he wasn’t even able to think about what he had done to Jean.

He turned his head in the direction of his front door, but Arthur first went to the kitchen. He really had gone grocery shopping…

It took a few minutes but then he settled down on the coffee table again. This was it then. The final conversation.

“I needed a bit of time to think”, he said like he had to apologise. What an absurd thought. Arthur apologizing for being shocked that his boyfriend was a monster. Riko nodded.

“You told me you were twenty when you stopped. So you were a child still when it started.”

“That’s not an excuse”, Riko said instantly. Because it wasn’t. That was important. It wasn’t an excuse for anything. It didn’t make a difference for his victims. His therapists had tried and failed to explain that the reason why he did things and an excuse were two different things, and that he couldn’t be made responsible for everything he did because of his mental state. It sounded a lot like an excuse to him that way.

“No, but simultaneously it kind of is, don’t you think?”

Riko huffed and looked up at the ceiling again: “Try to tell Josten that. I’m sure he will be understanding.”

“That’s not what I mean, stupid. Of course it doesn’t undo what you did. But you were a kid and no one told you that what you did was wrong. You thought it was okay and normal and… that is something you are not responsible for.”

What was that even supposed to mean? “Most kids know what’s right and wrong.” He didn’t want to talk anymore. He wanted Arthur to be gone already, this was torturous.

“Most kids live in our society and not in some mafia parallel world.”

Riko didn’t say anything, just stared up at the ceiling. He wanted this to be over. His chest hurt and he felt as empty as when he had realised that he was nothing and noone anymore. That he had lost everything. It had been shitty, but at least it had been his life.

“You signed for a professional team at a pretty young age. You played for two teams simultaneously and had school and later university. That had to be stressful.”

Riko shrugged. Yeah, it had been. So? A lot of people had a stressful life.

“I bet your uncle beat you, when you wouldn’t bring the results he wanted.”

“Sometimes.”, he mumbled. Bad grades hadn’t been an option or if he was tired during practice.

“Always in front of cameras or in this horrible building underground with other Exy obsessed people.”

Riko shrugged again but noted that Arthur probably had googled him.

“Have you ever been to therapy?”

Hadn’t he mentioned that? Was it important? “I had a nervous breakdown four weeks after my faked death. They put me in a mental facility for a while.”

“What was your diagnosis?”

Riko sighed heavily. He was so tired. So endlessly tired. He tried to remember the exact words of his multiple diagnosis until someone was able to pin it down. The ultimate verdict had been: “Antisocial probably sociopathic personality disorder, narcissism and sadism. The latter are part of an ASDP but they liked to point that out specifically. I was part of a few scientific papers as a success story. I probably could find them for you, if you are interested.”

Maybe it was just curiosity on Arthurs part. Whatever.

“So you know that these are mental illnesses?”

Riko shrugged again. Not an excuse, still.

“So when someone’s legs were broken at a young age and no one helped them fix the legs and they grew together all wrong, you would blame them for not being able to run?”

“That’s not the same!” Riko sat up quickly and then fell back into the pillow again with a pained groan.

“It’s not, but it is similar enough. I don’t say what you did was okay in any way, but in all fairness, you hadn’t had a lot of possibilities to turn out any kind of normal. I am not one of your victims, so I can’t forgive your actions, but I think you are allowed a chance in life. I love you, you know that. And I don’t think I would if you still were the monster from fifteen years ago. You never hurt me. Yes, you temper tantrums are there, but you just yell and throw things around. You don’t even throw things at someone. I’m kind of glad to know where they come from, now and I am a bit impressed that you even came this far. That you are able to feel empathy. I can understand that your therapists called you a success story.”

Riko didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. Maybe he fell unconscious and was dreaming? Why had Arthur still had so many good things to say about him?

“Akio… you aren’t just horrible or something. I know you care about others. You helped me through some tough shit with my family and me and our friends like to hang out with you. You are on a good way and I think it wouldn’t be fair to leave you because of what you did as a kid, especially with all that background of your upbringing.”

Riko… Akio? … looked at Arthur and didn’t know what to feel. Was this real?

“You won’t leave me?”, he asked, his voice hoarse with disbelief. “How can you? I… don’t understand.”

“I will need a bit of time to process everything properly but… but I can’t leave you, Akio. I want to ever meet Riko, really, but I love you like you are now. As Akio. Just… please if you still fantasize about hurting people you should maybe start therapy again. Not only because of that, I really am worried about you at the moment. I think the injuries and everything have triggered things for you. So just… I will stay, but… contact a therapist?”

Akio swallowed and nodded. “Yes, anything.”, he promised. He would do anything, if he just could keep Arthur.

Cautiously he extended his hand and smiled weakly when Arthur took it.

[venmomejoy]

The Lucky Ones

Idk if this has been done before but it's an actors au! All characters and relative plot belong to Nora Sakavic!!

Read it on Ao3 here

part two / part three / part four

Neil would never get used to the attention. The small amount of fame afforded to him as the lead character in the small town's production of Hamlet was stifling.

For him, it was instinctive to duck, to hide, to run at the first sign of recognition. Making himself unnoticeable was a habit beaten into him in childhood, his mother's fists compelling him into inconspicuousness when her warnings could not. Her lessons lingered in his mind even months after her death, urging him to grab the first ride away from here he can find and run every time he stepped onto the stage. He could almost hear her screaming at him, almost feel her phantom fists as she punished him for disobeying her. She had made him promise he would never act again, and he had broken his word. 

If this even counted as acting. Theater was fine, but Neil longed for the screen. He had tasted screen acting as a child and fallen in love with it, and no matter how she tried, his mother could never entirely curb his craving. She would beat him black and blue every time she caught him taking a second look at a poster for a new movie or lingering when he heard people discussing a favorite show, but he could not help himself. 

He hadn't planned on acting again, but when his mother died, he had felt stranded. He didn't know how to go on without her. Through all the years of running, of moving to a new city every few weeks, of fake names and boxes of hair dye, she had at least always been with him. Now that she was gone, he was entirely alone, and he did not know how to do it by himself. He found this town, got a new ID, and let himself drift. He knew it was stupid and reckless and all kinds of dangerous, but the acting was the only thing that felt real. So he let himself stay here for a few months, let himself audition for the play, let himself stand in front of the crowd and be seen. He promised himself he would be gone as soon as the show closed.

He hadn't anticipated that day coming so quickly. Despair started to creep in; he wasn't sure he was ready to let go of Neil Josten quite yet, although it seemed he had no choice. Tonight was the final showing, and all of the seats were full, although there couldn't have been more than fifty. Neil knew that most people in the audience had probably already seen the show- nearly all of them came to see family members perform or to "support the community"- but it still didn't lessen his nerves. He scanned the crowd for the tenth time, checking for any familiar faces, any sign he needed to bolt to the nearest exit. His father and his men hadn't caught up to him since they killed his mother, but that doesn't mean he is in the clear, especially since he's stayed here far too long. Yes, a move was overdue. 

Neil let himself get lost in the performance, immersing himself in someone else's life, someone else's story. His eyes still constantly flicked to the wings, to the crowd, to the catwalks, anywhere someone could be concealed, waiting to catch him off guard, but he let his brain shut off beyond the basic actions to confirm his safety, so customary they hardly took a second thought. Adrenaline thrums through his veins as he recites his lines, as he contorts his features into rage and despair and grief. He morphs himself into his character, allowing himself a reprieve from existing inside his own mind for a few hours. 

The performance ends far too soon. As Neil runs out for his bow, the cheers rise to screams. He knows he is a good actor, if a little out of practice. He smiles, taking it all in for the last time. He knows he won't be acting again. He already took too big of a risk by staying here this long.

Neil can't bear to see the set torn down, the theater cleaned and closed, so instead he sits in the dressing room, waiting for everyone else to leave so he can change out of his costume. The brutal scars marring his chest would draw too much concern, so every night he waited until the cast cleared out before changing into his street clothes. Some of his castmates tried to make idle conversation with him, but most knew he was not much of a talker and leave him alone. He watches them all leave, a couple inviting him to some sort of afterparty, which he promptly declines. If going up on stage was stupid, going to an unfamiliar location and getting engulfed in a large crowd was even stupider.

When his last castmate left, Neil basked in the silence as he quickly changed and then waited for the crew to finish as well. He needed to shower and brush his teeth before he went back to the house he was squatting in, but he did not need anyone to know he was utilizing the theater's facilities. It would raise too many questions. 

The sound of the door swinging open had Neil raising his head, eyes tracking his director's movements closely as he strode over to him. 

"That was a great performance Neil, one of the best I've seen from you." He took a seat on the couch next to Neil, causing every muscle in his body to tense. His director was one of the most even-tempered people Neil had ever met, but he'd seen enough aggression from middle-aged men to not trust a seemingly calm demeanor. 

"Thank you, Mr. Hernandez," he replied stiffly.

"Your talent is promising. Would you ever consider making a career in the arts?"

 Neil just shrugged, casting his gaze to the floor. Telling Hernandez that acting was not an option for him would open up a can of worms that Neil could not afford. He couldn't tell him that he would be leaving first thing tomorrow, taking his meager belongings and heading to another state, becoming another person, so his best option was indifference. 

"Well, maybe this will help you make up your mind. There's someone here who wants to talk to you."

Neil's eyes shot to Hernandez, alarm bells sounding in his head. This was his worst nightmare. He had been found, he had been found, he had been found-

He pulled his duffel bag over his shoulder as he stood, already making his way towards the nearest exit when someone cleared their throat loudly from behind him. It was too late. 

Neil turned around, hands still gripping his bag as he stood poised to run, and met the eyes of the stranger. The man was tall, likely in his late thirties or early forties, with honed muscle visible where his arms were crossed over his chest. His face was hard, but his eyes were searching as he scanned Neil from head to toe. He was unfamiliar, but that didn't mean he was harmless. Perhaps his father had gotten a new lackey. "Who are you?" Neil asked. 

"He's a director, Neil. He wants to recruit you," Hernandez said. 

Neil scoffed. "Please, the population of this town is barely five hundred. No one recruits here."

"He sent out an open call, looking for someone to cast in his show. You fit the description pretty well, so I sent him some videos of you during rehearsals. He came to watch you tonight, to see if you were good enough for the show. I didn't mention it to you because I wasn't sure anything would come of it."

Neil couldn't believe what he was hearing. He hadn't even seen anyone take any videos of him during rehearsals. His panic was steadily rising. "What?"

The man stepped forward, and Neil unconsciously stepped back. He noticed, his gaze hardening as he looked Neil over again, searching for something different this time. "I don't have time for this," the stranger said. "We start filming in three weeks, and the actor we had set up for this role fell through. You have talent, kid. All you have to do is sign the contract and your set for two seasons with us. If we get renewed again, likely more."

Neil did not know what to say, so he just stared at the man, assessing the sincerity of his offer. The director just stared back, unfazed by Neil's blatant scrutinization. 

After moments of silence, the man sighed. "Look kid, The Foxes is a incredibly popular show. Signing with us could jumpstart your career.”

Deafening silence rings through Neil’s head as that name hit him. He thinks his heart has stopped beating. "You direct The Foxes." 

The man- who he now recognizes as David Wymack- only nodded. Neil knew all about The Foxes. The first season of the show was a hot mess, barely scrounging up enough support to get renewed for a second season. But it did. And when esteemed actor Kevin Day joined the cast, the show started rising in popularity. 

Kevin had been raised in Hollywood, adopted at a young age into the Moriyama family, one of the most powerful names in filmmaking. Tetsuji Moriyama was arguably the most famous director on the scene, so when he took in Kevin and his nephew Riko, he raised them to be formidable actors. The two were as close as brothers. Tetsuji gave Kevin and Riko small roles in his productions when they were children, and as they grew older, the two starred in almost all of his work. Most notably, the two were costars on Evermore, an immensely popular fantasy show. Riko played a young boy who was adapting to his new life as a vampire, while Kevin played his best friend, still a human, who helped him adjust. The show had a huge fanbase- it was easily the most popular show on television right now. But in the middle of filming the fourth season, Kevin and Riko vanished from the public eye. No one knew what had happened to them, what they were doing, but when they resurfaced, it was discovered that Kevin had shattered his hand in a stunt gone wrong. Tetsuji decided the show could not halt production to wait for Kevin to heal, and instead wrote him out of the rest of the season, saying he would return for the fifth season when he was fully recovered. Kevin all but disappeared, not saying or doing anything while he recovered. Until Kevin decided not to renew his contract. Two months ago, Kevin had announced that he would not be returning to Evermore, and was instead signing with Wymack on The Foxes. His fans were devastated. Many were angry at him, feeling betrayed at his leaving. Others were intrigued by this new project, his first apart from Riko. Either way, the move brought a lot of attention to The Foxes. Kevin not only brought a fanbase with him when he began the show, but he pushed his costars to work harder and hone their acting skills, making the following of the show grow exponentially. 

Neil hadn't seen Kevin since he was ten years old. Neil had started acting lessons when he was four, had even been in a few small productions in his childhood. He assumed it was his father's attempt at getting him out of the house while he did his business, and Neil was happy to go- every time he was present during his father's dealings he ended up with a beating. One day, his father took him to rehearse with some kids. He had never met Kevin and Riko before, but Neil was happy to make some friends. He had never really been allowed to have any friends, so he was excited to finally have some kids to interact with. With the help of an older man who guided them, the three spent a few hours going over scenes, trying the lines with different emotions and figuring out how they all worked together on-screen. But their rehearsal was cut short when they were forced to watch Neil's father tear a man to ribbons. His mother had taken him and left the next morning.

There was no conceivable way Neil could accept Wymack's proposal. He had garnered too much attention as it is performing in a small town's theater production. The last thing he needed was his face to be broadcasted all over television, his name tacked on to a credit list. Beyond that, the media is up The Foxes's ass, what with Kevin on the cast. He cannot afford that kind of notoriety. His father would find him in an instant. And if Kevin recognized him? He could not risk Kevin giving him away.

"Please leave me alone," Neil said. 

"We need to fly you out tomorrow if you're going to be halfway prepared when we start production. It would be best if you sign tonight," Wymack pushed.

"I'm not signing anything. I'm not working with you."

"Why?”

"I won't work with Kevin."

"Aw, hear that, Kev? The rookie doesn't like you," a sardonic voice drawled from behind him. 

Every bone in his body seized at the implication of that statement. If Kevin was here-

He whirled around to meet the dark green eyes of Kevin Day. He was significantly taller than Neil, at least six-foot to his five-three, with a good fifty pounds of muscle over him. And he was blocking the only other exit. Neil had not noticed Hernandez leave the room until now, acutely aware of his compromised position. There was no way for him to escape. Neil just stared at his old friend, barely breathing as he waited for recognition to kick in, for the realization to dawn on him. But nothing came. Could it be possible Kevin didn't recognize him?

It made sense, he supposed. Neil had seen Kevin grow up, his face plastered on every magazine and television screen he saw, but Kevin had not seen Neil since he was a child. That, coupled with the brown hair dye and the brown colored contacts he wore may have been enough to slip under Kevin's radar.

"Jesus, Andrew, can't you be polite for ten minutes? We're trying to sign this kid and you're going to scare him off," Wymack's incensed voice sounded from behind him.

"Oh, come on, Wymack, he doesn't look like the type to be scared of little old me now does he?" Neil broke his stare with Kevin to look at his companion, only to find Andrew Minyard's eyes already boring into his own, a manic smile plastered on his face. He would have recognized the blond actor anywhere; he had made quite a stir in Hollywood. 

Andrew was the first person to turn down a role with the Moriyama's. Riko and Kevin had found him, had seen his work in other projects and knew he had potential. When they approached him with a part on Evermore and a chance to join their little clique, they had never even considered he would say no. Working with Tetsuji was a straight shot to stardom. But Andrew instead signed a contract with Wymack, who had agreed to cast his twin brother Aaron and his cousin Nicky as well. 

Neil turned back to Wymack. "I'm not signing anything. I'm leaving now."

"I'm going to let you reconsider." The first words Kevin spoke to Neil in eight years sent chills down his spine. 

Neil turned towards him again. "I've already given you an answer."

"Why won't you sign?" Wymack questioned. "From what your directer said, you've got nothing keeping you here. In the three months he's known you, he said he's seen no friends, no family. Said your parents never answer his calls, something about them having a long commute to work, that they barely even see you. Why not join The Foxes?"

Neil couldn't very well tell him the truth, so he told him the first plausible lie his mind provided. "I'm not near good enough to work with Kevin. And I'm only used to stage acting, I don't know how to perform for television." 

The first lie would have been reason enough, but the second one needed to be thrown in to keep his story believable. He had told Hernandez he had only done a few plays previously, not wanting to raise any suspicion. If Wymack had spoken to his director about him, he had likely been told this. And anyone who had only done a few plays would be concerned about switching to screen acting, so Neil played the part. 

"Both unimportant," Kevin said. At Neil's surprised look he continued, "You may be inexperienced, but we saw your performance tonight. You have talent. Now stop wasting our time and sign the contract."

How had he missed Kevin Day in the audience? He must have been hiding in the back, trying to avoid being recognized by any fans. Still, the misstep unnerved Neil. "There are plenty of actors with talent who would be thrilled at this offer. Why not ask them?"

"Like I said, we've seen you perform. We knew you had talent from the videos your director sent us, but it's not just raw ability. You throw yourself into your role like it's all you have left. You don't just channel the emotions, you become the character. Actors with that kind of passion are rare, and are the only kind worth bothering with."

Neil couldn't stop the pull in his chest, begging him to accept, no matter how foolish an idea it was. He was not ready to give up acting, but pursuing it would bring him closer to the man he had spent his entire life running from. Signing with Wymack was as good as signing his death sentence. But it was a shot at living, at truly living for the first time in years. The acting was the only thing that felt solid now that his mother was gone, and he wasn't sure if he could survive without a tether. 

If Kevin didn't recognize him, perhaps he could indulge himself, just for a little while. He didn't have to stay for the full two seasons; at the first sign of trouble, he'd run. Perhaps he could base his plan off of Kevin- at soon as Kevin started remembering, started asking questions, Neil would know it was time to go. Because if Kevin remembered, if he started digging into Neil's past, he would clue in the whole host of people after Neil on his whereabouts. If they didn't discover them on their own. 

"An answer tonight, Josten." Wymack clicked the pen, holding it out to Neil in offering. Neil stared at the pen, every ounce of self-preservation screaming at him to be smart, to take his bag and get the hell out of this town, to blend back into the shadows. But another voice, a voice he had been repressing for far too long, was making itself heard: desire. Desire to act, desire to be settled somewhere, desire to be real. 

He could always run. That's what he told himself as he took the pen from his new directors proffered hand. That what he told himself as he signed his name along the dotted line, the name of a person who didn't really exist, but was going to try to for as long as he could. That's what he told himself as he felt his throat closing in as he realized how he had disregarded everything his mother had worked for, died for, with the quick stroke of a pen. 

"Perfect," Wymack said. "We'll pick you up here tomorrow so we can fly to L.A. and get started." Neil couldn't think of anything to say, so he stayed silent.

Kevin handed him a thick stack of paper with "The Foxes: season three, episode one" printed across the front. The script. "Start reading it now. We have a lot of catching up to do if you're going to be ready by the beginning of production."

With that, he strode from the room. Andrew followed him, stopping only to flash Neil that same grin, raising his hand in a two-fingered salute. Neil couldn't contain his eye roll.

After the two actors had left the room, Wymack held back for a moment. "You made the right choice, kid." 

Neil almost laughed. If only he knew how wrong he was.

Notes: Hello everyone!! I’m not completely happy with this but I'm publishing it anyways because bad writing is better than no writing, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself :) I’m going to write more chapters on this fic, so I hope that someone likes it!!

[foxlolpop]

My Theory On Kaleigh Day’s Death

(Not everyone in the fandom takes the extra content to heart, I certainly don’t but hang with me for bit. This is also purely a theory that the fandom can of course expand upon or ignore)

In the extra content Nora explains that Kaleigh had zero knowledge on the yakuza. That she “might have hidden her son a little bit better if she’d known”. This comment makes me wonder if Ms. Day could’ve turned into a less extreme version of Mary. It also reminds me of why Mary ran away with Little Neil: to protect him from becoming one of the Moriyamas investments and of course other things.

But even with all the running and planning they still got caught.

Furthermore, while it was Nathan chasing the duo down and not the Moriyamas this still demonstrates pretty early on in the series the dedication the mafia has to their investments. How valuable an investment is. This is further punctuated when Neil bargains for his life with Ichirou. And how did he bargain for his life? He told Ichirou about how he would go pro, bring in lots of money for the Moriyama empire, and essentially become the investment he was always meant to be.

Now that brings us back to how Neil became an investment. A deal gone sour after Mary ran or more specifically the man behind the deal: Nathan Wesninski.

Nathan is the yakuza’s hitman. Kengo’s right-hand man. His men tracked down an investment that cost them resources, time, and lots and lots of money. Neil is worth more than the millions Mary stole. He is also worth the cold hard cash the Moriyamas could’ve mooched off him with exy during the 8 years he was on the run and then some as an official Raven. Instead money, probably issued to Nathan by the Moriyamas (cause where else is he gonna to get it), is flushed down the drain in order to pinpoint Mary and Little Neil’s location.

Now that I’ve made the importance of what an investments can mean to a mafia crystal clear; let’s backpedal. Kaleigh Day.

Kaleigh Day is a cofounder of exy. She is a successful woman. And unbeknownst to her organized crime is booming because she and her college BFF (Testuji) took their class project to the next level.

She also has a kid. His name is Kevin Day and his mother built exy from the ground up. Knows the sport like the back of her hand and she’s probably taught him more than a few things. Her passion for the sport like a gene passed on to Little Kevin (doubly so because of his father but he doesn’t know that yet). They probably scrimmaged together and those are probably some of Kevin’s fondest memories. A time when he wasn’t abused. But Kaleigh and her college BFF took their class project to the next level. Kaleigh Day is a cofounder of exy and she’s taught him more than a few things.

In short, Kevin is probably very advanced in the sport and will only keep getting better as long as he keeps learning. He’s a prodigy or at the very least the makings of one and Kaleigh Day has laid down all the groundwork.

In order to continue to advance he needs to enrich his learning in the best way possible. How do we learn best, you ask? In a focused environment that “optimises the ability of students to learn.”

Without a doubt, in an incredibly twisted way, I would describe Evermore as the perfect learning environment for someone who wants to excel in exy beyond their wildest dreams. The castle also provides fear and stress and beatings that keep you line, and these are powerful motivators.

You can accomplish anything if pushed to the breaking point albeit losing pieces of yourself in the process. But this is the mafia, they don’t care about your breaking point. They see Little Kevin and they see dollar signs. They see the perfect investment and you already know how much they love their investments.

This leads us to Nathan Wesninski. The Butcher of Baltimore; a clever cover up for what’s really behind the cleaver. He takes care of somone’s problems, complications.

Kaleigh Day is definitely one of those and she just happens to be his latest assignment.

Andrew Minyard, a kid fresh from juvie, made Tilda’s death look like an accident. Why can’t a highly trained hitman do the same, maybe even do a better job? They both died in a car accident, you know.

Finally, we have Kevin again. A little kid utterly heartbroken. Grief-stricken. His mother is dead. He thinks he’s all alone in the world but like an angel sent from above Tetsuji appears. Little Kevin has probably met him before, he was his mother’s BFF and exy’s second half after all. Because of these factors Tetsuji is Kevin’s godfather.

So, Little Kevin is whisked away with the sweet promises of a friend (Riko), maybe a family, and a place that is exy, exy, exy 24/7 (exy: a way he could persevere his mother’s memory). It sounds like a dream after all that’s happened. Suddenly, the world doesn’t look so bleak anymore and he thinks that maybe, just maybe he won’t be alone after all.

Kevin does keep learning. He does keep getting better so much so that he ends up paying for it with his left hand and pieces of himself he never thought he could lose before. Kevin is also a stellar investment alongside Riko.

In The Kings’s Men Neil tells Ichirou how much Kevin was worth before Riko destroyed his hand (click the pictures for better viewing):

These numbers really emphasize how much Kevin was worth and how much the yakuza lost when they deemed him useless.

All in all, Kevin’s seven-digit net worth compenstates the loss of the beloved Kaleigh Day in more ways than one.

None of his money would have been accessible to the mafia if Kaleigh hadn’t died. Kevin probably wouldn’t have made that much money if he continued with exy by his mom’s side anyway because of the Riko & Kevin Ride-or-Die Brotherhood the Moriyamas sold to the media.

Since Tetsuji was Kaleigh’s BFF Riko and Kevin could’ve probaby still been like brothers if she had survived the accident, but I think that it wouldn’t have been as powerful as the story the Moriyamas painted: Kevin, a sad lonely orphan, being unofficially adopted into the lap of luxury, where he pursues his passion and gains a friendship (a home, a brother, a father figure, etc) to last the test of time. It’s essentially the ruins to riches trope, and it definitely dragged in more than a couple thousand.

———————————————————————

“optimises the ability of students to learn” this qoute is from this article in the first paragraph.

I used the extra content and The Foxhole Court Wikia for fact checking. My grammar is shit so sorry for any glaring mistakes.

Again, this is a theory. I dont really know if this could’ve happened, I’m just saying it’s a possibility. I love Kevin with all my heart and no shade towards his mom. She didn’t know about the mafia.

Let me know what you think <3

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

I👏🏻need👏🏻to👏🏻know👏🏻more👏🏻about 👏🏻my👏🏻girls👏🏻

This wasn't specific so I'll just do random things 

Erin loves Twenty one Pilots. Some of the songs appear to be very upbeat until you take a look at the lyrics. It matched the manic energy she had when medicated so she was really into it then. She wouldn't ever listen to it sober bc she hated her drugs. Ania loves ToP's song Screen bc it reminds her of her and Erin. It's a slow path to recovery but Erin slowly falls back in love with them, mostly bc Ania and Aaron like them. 

Ania had a walkman that she carried with her while on the run. It was her mother's until Mary gave it to her. Mary doesn't know that Ania still has it. If she did, she would have burned it. Ania only has one tape for the recorder. She doesn't know it but it's a mixtape Nathan gave Mary for Ania. He knew he wouldn't be there to witness her birth so he made her a mixtape. He's so stupid. How tf was a baby supposed to listen to a mixtape? Regardless, it's a thing. Ania doesn't ever find out but she treasures the walkman and single tape for the rest of her life. 

Kayleigh Day had fiery red hair and blue blue eyes. Sometimes a sleep-deprived Kevin will accidentally call Ania mom. 

Wymack was born and raised in Baltimore. He went to school with Nathan and they had a few classes together. Nathan was the head of the local gang. In exchange for letting Wymack crash at his place when his parents got too heavy-handed, Wymack would run drugs for Nathan. When Ania comes back from Evermore, the first thing Wymack thinks of is Nathan. He doesn't realize that he's literally standing in front of Nathan's daughter. 

I've mentioned this before but Ania was the first baby Wymack ever held. She had icy blue eyes even then. Wymack thinks about baby Nathania whenever he sees Ania. Again he doesn't realize that they're the same person. 

As a baby, Ania didn't laugh or coo or babble. She just kinda sat there. The only people she seemed to like were Kevin and Wymack. She liked to hold their hands and she'd babble softly to them. They'd nod and interject sometimes as if it were a real conversation. 

Before Ania could walk, Riko used to push her around in a stroller and pretend she was a doll. She used to brush her hair and help Mary dress her. 

Tilda hated Aaron because when she'd come to get one of the twins back, she had asked for Erin. At birth, the twins were indistinguishable. She was too hopped up on pain meds to realize the mistake until Erin had been shipped into foster care. 

Erin had a space phase and Aaron had a marine bio phase. Erin can name every constellation in the night sky. You can point to any fish and Aaron tell you it's age and species.

Erin used to love the beach until Drake started taking her. She used to be able to surf too.   

Erin is afraid of the dark for similar reasons. 

Ania has broken every bone in her body at least once. The only exception is her skull. 

The only bone Erin has ever broken in a non-exy related injury or the car accident that killed her mother was her skull. She used to skateboard back in Cali and cracked her skull open trying to grind down a handrail. 

When Erin was less than a year old, her foster parent left the door to the apartment open. She crawled out and fell down the concrete stairs, hitting her head two or three times before they realized she was gone. This actually happened to my little brother. He's fine tho. 

Ania's hands are covered in calluses from a lot of things, mostly holding knives by the blade. Erin likes holding her hands anyway. 

Ania likes to kiss Erin's self-harm scars. 

They get matching key tattoos on the area below their thumb. 

During Christmas at Evermore Riko carved her name onto Ania's back. Ania gets it covered with a really big tattoo, Ronan Lynch style. It's a bunch of symbols from her life meshed together and it's full of Erin's favorite flowers. Ania had wanted a full-color tattoo but black covered the scars up better. 

Every year for Christmas, Erin and Ania spend most of the day in bed. They don't have sex, they just lay there holding each other bc Ania never fully lives down the horror of Christmas at Evermore and Erin is too afraid of hurting her to push it. It becomes a soft holiday for them. It works out well for them when they move up to New York for a while since they’re usually snowed in anyways. 

Ania tutors Aaron in math. She's impatient and math isn't his strong suit so they usually end up fighting. However, he does much better on tests that he studies for with her than without.

Both twins cry when frustrated. Erin sees Aaron crying while cramming for midterms so she grabs her stuff and drops it onto the desk beside him. They stay up studying together. It makes them feel less lonely. 

The twins' handwriting is barely legible. Their notes look like literal chicken scratch but their handwritings are identical. Erin handwrites flashcards for all of Aaron's tests and just leaves them on his desk. At first, he thinks that he wrote them himself and just blacked out right after. He doesn't realize that it's Erin writing them until he comes home from a date with Katelyn to see her dropping a stack of flashcards on his desk. 

Erin writes her notes right to left and backwards. She does this bc so one can read it and they never borrow her notes.

Ania's notes look like they belong on a studyblr. 

Ania gets her doctorate in mathematics. Aaron is salty but he still shows up to see her get it. He shoves a wrapped package at her and stalks off. It's a doctor's coat bc he's a cheesy s.o.b. Ania wears it around the house. Erin tells her she looks like an idiot and she needs to take it off rn. Ania just looks at her like 👀👀👀. Erin's ears are burning bc that is not what she meant. She's not opposed to Ania's implicit suggestion. 

Speaking of Aaron giving Ania presents, he notices that Ania likes the VCSO girl aesthetic. Specifically, the little shell necklaces. He buys her one for her birthday every year. She wears it every day until she gets a new one. The old ones are kept in a box in her bathroom. She takes them out whenever she's feeling down bc each one holds very specific memories. 

Before Nicky leaves, Erin starts spending a lot of time with him. She hugs him super tight at the airport and he nearly misses his flight bc she won't let go. 

Erin and Ania visit Wymack and Abby every year. One time Wymack is scolding Erin for something and she waves it off saying, "Whatever, Dad." The house goes silent. "That didn't happen," she snarls as she stomps off. 

Erin and Erik like to get their nails done together. No, Erin doesn't get full sets. No, I will not elaborate. 

Erin gives the best hugs. Homegirl's got arms like tree trunks. Matt and Ania are the only people who know for a long long time. Eventually, Erin gets comfortable enough to hug Aaron. He nearly dies every time bc it's just so nice. It makes him feel so safe. 

Jeremy, Thea, and Erin will ditch their ravens to practice together and go out on self-care days. They go out to dinner/movies/spas. Bc the three of them live in different parts of the country, they Skype while watching shows so that they can all watch together. 

Jeanie and Jeremy adopt 3 kids. All of them like Aunt Erin best. 

Most of the Foxs' kids like Erin and Ania the best. 

Erin and Ania have their wedding at the Foxhole Court. Aaron walks Erin down the aisle and Kevin walks Ania. They go dress shopping separately but they still end up with the same dress bc they're magic. 

Y’all can totally keep asking about the girls, but I’d appreciate it if y’all could be more specific. It’ll help me a ton. 

[andreilweek]

ANDREILWEEK 2018 MASTERPOST

Hello everyone! So here it is! The masterpost you've all been waiting for!

But first, we'd like to thank all of the people who participated posting new content but also those who helped us spread the word about andreilweek and brought a lot of attention to the project. We are really happy with the results of it and we hope it's the first year of a lot more. We hope we can comeback next year for another round of Andreilweek after all the support we received!

Now, here you go!

Day 1: shakespeare | mythology | fake dating/fake exes

FANFIC

Asphodel by @kibumunnie

Prompt: mythology

Start A War by @belabellissima

Prompt: mythology

A Trojan War AU where Andrew is Achilles, Neil is Briseis, and Aaron just wants to survive to the end of the fic. 

self destruct just to feel. by @miny3rd

Prompt: mythology

Andrew’s perspective of his and Neil’s kisses, as well as the “thank you, you were amazing” scene, with a sprinkle of Icarus imagery.

"Andrew's wings, built upon months of promises and truths, wax and feathers, melted and burned. The earth was being pulled towards him with immense speed, and nothing, not even the nights spent twenty stories off the ground, when his heart crashed against his ribs, could prepare him for the plunge."

A Midsummer Night’s Fib by @nachtgraves

Prompt: shakespeare | mythology | fake dating/fake exes

Neil doesn’t know why he did it but Nicky wasn’t going to quit and Allison had her phone out with that plotting gleam in her eyes and Dan and Matt were looking at him in certain ways and he just blurt it out: “I’m going with Andrew.”

A Twin By Any Other Name by @dkafterdark

Prompt: shakespeare

Fake Exes by @minyxrd-03

Prompt: fake exes

“So apparently we broke up.” It’s the first thing Neil - or Andrew, for that matter - had said in quite a while and it was more than enough to catch Andrew’s attention.

Aceso by @minyard-03

sea creature/ocean child by @lolainslackss

Prompt: mythology

When Aaron is lost to the sea, Andrew captures a selkie and enlists him to help bring his brother back.

From Whence We Came by @ GaiusTheGenius

Prompt: mythology

“You hate the beach.” Andrew said by way of a greeting, curling his fingers into the cool sand and narrowing his eyes at the back of Neil’s head. “The beach reminds me of my mother.” Neil replied.

I hate the way I don't hate you by @gluupor

"Great!" said Katelyn happily. "It's settled. We’ll bribe Neil to date Andrew so that I can date Aaron."

A 10 Things I Hate About You AU. Prompt: fake dating

Chemistry Experiments by @fuzzballsheltiepants

The high school/Prom/Fake Dating AU I always secretly wanted to write, with the added bonus of less tragic backstories!  One instance of homophobic language that is dealt with promptly.

welcome to the club by @exyjunkies

Prompt: fake dating

Shaking off Kevin’s arm, Andrew grunted, “One college party.” Kevin fist-pumped. “That’s it.”

Sinful Nature by @lady-gryffindor

Prompt: fake exes

Neil slips up in a conversation with Allison, who won’t rest until he tells her who he went on a date with; the problem is, he hasn’t gone out with anyone. He picks a name, hoping Allison won’t know the guy, but Neil’s life has never been that easy on him.

ART

fanart by @s-c-larkless

fanart by @still-waiting-for-godot

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @broship-addict

MISCALENOUS

this discussion by @exybxtch

Prompt: mythology

headcanon by @arxhaangel

Prompt: shakespeare

Day 2: dmv | carnival | cityscape

FANFIC

Memories by @exactly13percent

Prompt: DMV, Carnival, Cityscape There are a lot of memories for him to replace. The good thing is, Neil has a very good person to help replace them. 

Fair Games by @fuzzballsheltiepants

Ridiculous, tooth-rotting fluff in which Andrew and Neil go to a carnival.  May cause diabetes.

ask by @dkafterdark

Prompt: carnival

It's called a hustle, Sweetheart by @gluupor

"We need to find out who owns this license plate, but I don't have access to the police database yet," said Kevin. "Relax," said Neil. "I know a guy at the DMV."

Cityscape by @nxckyhemmicks

ART

fanart by @artlienn

fanart by @rainbowd00dles

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @s-c-larkless

PHOTOSET

edit by @minyard-03

edit by @hemminicky

photoset by @reneeewalker​

MISCALENOUS

headcanon by @arxhaangel

Prompt: carnival

poem by @dreamscapeloser​

Prompt: cityscape

Day 3: rain | bare skin | broken glass

FANFIC

Shower Thoughts by @dkafterdark

Prompt: rain

A truth universally acknowledged by @gluupor

“Palmetto Court has been let at last!” said Mr. Hemmick in raptures. “Mrs. Wymack reports that a single man of good fortune has taken Palmetto for a twelvemonth at least! What marvellous news for my dear cousins!”

Prompt: rain

Bye Week by @fuzzballsheltiepants

More AFTG fluff.  Post-canon.  Neil goes to visit Andrew in Boston during their bye week, and ends up in Maine instead.

Prompt: rain, bare skin

Rain by @minyxrd-03

Rain and Bare Skin by @nxckyhemmicks

Running to You by @cosyblack

In Columbia, Neil has a nightmare and decides to go run in the middle of the night so Andrew waits for him to come back.

Caught in a Web by @c-dragon-pirates

Neil Josten is Spider-man. He's had his powers for eight years and has protected New York for five. It's a lonely life but Neil tells himself that the work he does makes up for it. Then he meets Deadpool, and though the merc insists he doesn't care for the company of Spider-man, suddenly Neil doesn't feel quite so alone.

Summer Love by @andrewminyardamiright

Matt invites the team to his home in New York to celebrate the Fourth of July. When everyone else is asleep the first night, Andrew and Neil take advantage of the privacy Matt's pool offers and sexy pool shenanigans ensue

For Andreil Week 2018 day 3 Prompt- bare skin and rain (except I'm using a pool instead)

Inside by @exactly13percent

Andreil Week 2018 | Day 2: Rain, Bare Skin, Broken Glass While Neil waits for the end, he never stops. Until one day it rains, and he finds himself giving in to the way Andrew feels in bed next to him and the comfort of his warmth. 

Staying by @nachtgraves

One stormy summer night in Columbia, Andrew finds Neil sitting in the rain.

Marching On by @talysfics

Neil has never seen Andrew naked, and he didn't think he minded.

Prompt: bare skin

ART

fanart by @broship-addict

fanart by @artlienn

fanart by @novakstiel

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @ariessential

fanart by @aminiyard

fanart by @requiemofkings

Day 4: mental health | vine/meme | felony

FANFIC

ask by @dkafterdark​

Prompt: mental health

It's a cruel world, Mr. J by @gluupor

“And you? You think I’m a monster?” asked Andrew. “Maybe,” said Neil. “But I don’t think that monsters are born. They’re made.”

A Joker/Harley AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: mental health

Fine by @exactly13percent

Day 4: mental health, vine/meme, felony Neil thought it would end neatly with Riko's death and Ichirou's deal. His mistake. The Foxes take a vacation and Neil does several stupid things. But hey, it's not like he was alone. And at least he has an entire cabin just for him—and Andrew, of course.

Mental Health  by @nxckyhemmicks

ART

fanart by @artlienn​

fanart by @aminiyard​

fanart by @staary-eyes​

VIDEO

andreil vine compilation by @lady-gryffindor

aftg characters as memes/vines by @sheiibabe

MISCALENOUS

meme by @spokenfromtheheartandsoul

headcanon by @arxhaangel​

Prompt: mental health

poem by @dreamscapeloser

Day 5: colors | soulmate | stadium lights

FANFIC

Marked by @dkafterdark

Andreil Week, Day 5: Soulmate

[Based on this soulmate idea that you’re born with a soulmate mark and when your soulmate touches you the mark turns colors *fancy* I changed it a bit so that only handprints count. Andrew first touches Neil early on in canon but I can’t find when Neil first touches Andrew so for this AU I’m going to say it’s when he takes Andrew’s hand and pulls it under his shirt in The Raven King]

TW: mentions of Drake/Thanksgiving, torture at Evermore, general references to past abuse

An overdeveloped sense of vengeance by @gluupor

“No one could be following us yet?” Kevin asked suddenly. “No one,” Riko said impatiently. “That would be absolutely inconceivable.” There was a pause. “Out of curiosity, why are you bothering me with such a stupid question?” “Oh, no reason,” answered Kevin. “It’s just that I looked back and someone is there.”

A Princess Bride AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: soulmate

how the light gets in  by @exyjunkies

day 5: stadium lights

In which Neil thinks it’s a good idea to come back. Andrew agrees – after all, it’s not as if he’d be going back alone.

Paint Me The Color of You by @exactly13percent

Day 5: Colors, Soulmate, Stadium lights Sound is supposed to be the language of love. Neil has never heard his soulmate. Never. Except he sees blue all the time, and then he meets Andrew and the entire world turns to color.

ART

fanart by @staary-eyes​

fanart by @cats-are-assholes​

PHOTOSET

edit by @nneiljostenn

photoset by @reneeewalker

Day 6: fistfight | distance | video games

FANFIC

ask by @dkafterdark

Yours by @exactly13percent

Day 6: Fistfight, Distance, Video Games Neil manages to keep a low profile for most of the time that Andrew is gone. But some things require action. Some things like a freshman Fox. And someone told Andrew.

Andrew versus the truth by @gluupor

Andrew gets an unexpected message on his birthday from his estranged twin brother and then very strange things start happening.

A spy AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: video games

Is It A Video? by @lady-gryffindor

Neil and Andrew over summer vacation in high school, playing video games together and falling in love like the teenagers they could’ve been.

For Day 6 of #AndreilWeek2018 for the prompts “distance” and “video game

ART

fanart by @rainbowd00dles

fanart by @staary-eyes

fanart by @feli-artblog

fanart by @aminiyard

fanart by @ariessential​

PHOTOSET

edit by @reneeewalker

Day 7: champion | practice | fear

FANFIC

An Unpleasant Surprise  by @dkafterdark

Written for Andreil Week, Day 7: Fear. This is set in a high school au I started where Neil is attending school in Columbia and he meets Andrew at a car wash fundraiser. This story is set about four months after their first meeting. There’s a whole lotta fluff and a small, but intense amount of fear.

TW: Neil being triggered and experiencing a panic attack

Champion by @exactly13percent

Day 7: Champion, Practice, Fear Being a gymnast is not something that typically requires running. It's also not for people that are afraid of heights. Neil and Andrew really fucked themselves over. Maybe there's one good thing that can come out of it, though. Maybe meeting each other is enough.

Fast boys and hot cars by @gluupor

Minyard had gotten out of his car and was stalking towards Neil like a predator - a panther, maybe, or some other big cat. “Double or nothing,” he said, sounding unaffected and bored by the proceedings despite the fact that he’d just lost a race for the first time in years.

A Fast and the Furious AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: champion

ART

fanart by @ariessential​

PHOTOSET

edit by @reneeewalker

Day 8: free choice

FANFIC

Solvable by @dkafterdark​

Crystal Clear by @exactly13percent

Day 8: Free Choice Your crystal is your heart and soul, manifested. You must keep it safe. Neil and Andrew don't have typical crystals. For one, they aren't whole. They're little pieces, broken by years of wrong. But Kevin's magic shop brings them together, and they figure maybe broken doesn't mean destroyed.

Only You by @cosyblack

In their second year a deal is made. Andrew wants to explore his boundaries and there’s really just one person he trusts around himself.

Set in a universe where everything is the same except that Andrew never kissed Neil on the rooftop that night. Instead, they just got closer and more comfortable around each other.

Too gay to function by @gluupor

After school, Neil started to make the trek back to his uncle’s house when a shiny, black beast of a car screeched to a halt in front of him. The driver’s side window rolled down. “Get in, loser,” said Andrew. “We’re going shopping.”

A Mean Girls AU written for the Andreil Week prompt: free choice

it hurts the worst before it heals  by @19tfc

It's been a while before the blood became an ugly scab that Neil can't help scratching at but sometimes his chest feels just a bit lighter.

piped dream by @lvl777 / @03hp

a pta dad au (ft protective dads and a lot of baked goods) for andreil week day 8 (free choice)

warnings: mentions of alcohol, implied / referenced child abuse, ableism

ART

fanart by @audrey-ph

fanart by @artlienn

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PLAYLIST

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- Angel @arxhaangel, Nea @minyard-03, Sheila @lady-gryffindor -

[thesffcorner]

The King’s Men

The King’s Men is the third book in the All for the Game written by Nora Sakavic. If you haven’t read the previous two books, then first off, why are you reading this, second, I will SPOIL EVERYTHING that happens in them. Got it? Good. Let’s start. 

I read the Raven King and started writing a review, that I just couldn’t finish. I was so shell-shocked, so absolutely floored by the way that book ends, that I couldn’t put any of the things I felt into words, and by the time I felt I could write something, I had forgotten some of the things that happened in the first half of the book. I had no desire to reread it; I had no desire to read anything really, that’s how deep the reading slump that book threw me in was. I wasn’t sure I would ever finish the series. Well, finish the series I did, and I’m happy to say that this was my favorite book. In most ways I liked it the same as book 2, but the ending really bumped it up a notch higher than The Raven King. We pick up right after the end of book 2; Neil Josten somehow managed to survive the brutality of Edgar Allen, and is back in Palmetto State, at the same time that Andrew is released from the hospital. Things aren’t looking great for the team: now that Andrew is back and off his meds, the team is back to antagonism and their 2 separate groups, something they can’t afford if they have any hopes of making to the Championship. Moreover, now that the Moriyamas know who Neil is, he can no longer hide behind his identity, and his past might finally be catching up to him. I think it’s best to go through the same points I had for the first book, so let’s start with The Plot: This is the longest book, and as such it’s the most involved plot. Not only do we follow the preliminary rounds leading up to the Spring Championship, but we also have to deal with all the revelations from the previous book: what Rico does to his teammates, his constant threats and psychological warfare over the Foxes, Kevin’s guilt for abandoning Jean to Rico’s whims, Kevin’s parentage, Neil knowing about Kevin’s parentage and Rico and Kevin knowing the truth about Neil. There is also the fact that due to Rico’s intervention Neil is now visible to the public, and of course, Andrew being sober after 2 full years of medication. It’s a lot to cover, and for the most part, I think the book handles all of these threads well. Like always with this series, I have a lot of questions that I’m sure will never be answered, so let’s start with the most obvious: the mafia plot. I was surprised to see the plot with Neil’s dad culminating around the book’s midpoint; it’s resolved before any of the Championship stuff is, which was an odd choice. The Championship, as important as it is to Neil, is still just a game; his father on the other hand is a murderer who has spent the last 8 years trying to kill Neil, and has successfully killed his mother. This section of the book was the hardest for me to read; I don’t know what it is about Sakavic wanting for Neil to suffer the most gruesome violence, but the amount of abuse this poor child has gone through is almost insane, considering he’s 19. Maybe because of what happened to him in Edgar Allen I was more prepared for the torture in this, maybe it was because I finally got desensetised to the amount of abuse in these books, but I found this slightly less emotionally taxing to read than the ending of book 2. It’s still incredibly gruesome and if you are at all triggered by this kind of stuff, stay far far away from this book (though really what are you doing reading book 3 in a series). I am not squeamish about violence or torture, but even I needed to take breaks. How Nathan’s men find Neil was something I wasn’t super clear on, but what I especially wasn’t clear on was the aftermath. I genuinely thought Nathan might maim Neil, since I had no idea what could possibly happen to get him out of that situation, and when Stuart appeared, I was shocked. His character is set up, all the way back in book 1, but I had genuinely forgotten about him in the midst of everything else, and he was welcome reveal I had not seen coming. The plot with the FBI was just bizarre to me. I have heard of people who can refuse being put under witness protection before, so that wasn’t off putting; what was, was the Feds agreeing to not only bring the Foxes to Neil, but also allow Andrew to stay with Neil the whole time he is telling them his story! I find that very hard to believe; no agency in their right mind would want an unrelated party knowing so much sensitive information about an ongoing case. In the end, we also never find out what happens to the Butcher’s Kingdom? Did they ever catch Jensen and his brother? Then there are the Moriyamas. I found the scene between Ichorou and Neil kind of funny, in how hard it tried to paint Ichorou as this dangerous, violent man who commands so much respect, while also being described as barely a 20 year old. I did appreciate that Neil was still as sharp and clever as ever, and the way he spins the events of the past two books to not only make Coach Moriyama and Rico as the villains, but also secure a future for himself, Kevin and Jean was amazing. The ending was… interesting. Look, here’s the thing: Rico absolutely was a piece of shit. He was abusive, sadistic, arrogant, unhinged and violent, and he was never shown to have any kind of redeeming qualities or even the possibility of change. But he was also still a victim; Exy was all he had, all he would ever have, and his relentless desire to get noticed by his father was humanizing. He shared that one trait with Neil and seeing him being shown a single act of kindness by Ichorou and then immediately getting shot in the head before Neil was horrifying. The fact that Neil has no morsel of remorse for him too? That was cold. Like father like son. Also does this mean that Edgar Allen won’t be a prison anymore? Evermore is no longer the Moriyama domain? Is Ichorou washing his hands off of exy? Speaking of exy, all of my criticisms still stand. However, I will say that I got used to it enough to where I honestly didn’t care or notice how out of place it was anymore. With everything happening in this book, worrying about the intricacies of how exy tied into this world became irelevant. This didn’t make the games bad or irrelevant though; I enjoyed all of the matches, especially the last 3, where some strategies and positions were changed around. Having Neil play defense against Rico was sweet revenge; I also liked that the final goal was almost a non-presence, because Neil doesn’t even know it’s happening. He’s so tired and so lost in his head that he doesn’t even realize they’d won. Honestly, having people positioned as they were at the end of the book, I almost wanted to find out more of how the world of exy looked. With Jean going to UTC, the Ravens under new management, Renee, Alison, and Dan leaving Palmetto, and Neil as captain, it would have been fun to see how the sport and the game changed. Look at me, praising a fake sport that I hated so much in book 1. Characters: I don’t think anyone reads this series for exy though, let’s be real. No, the real draw are the characters, and the relationships between them. The bulk of the character development came down in book 2; book 2 was where we found out what Andrew’s backstory was, why he and Aaron hate each-other, Nicky’s family situation, Renee’s backstory, the fallout of Seth’s murder, everything to do with Rico, Kevin and Jean, and Wymack. This book builds on all of that; Neil takes front and center role, and I really liked that. He has finally accepted that he is the glue that holds the team together; even when he’s faced with his imminent death, his first priority is protecting Andrew and the rest of the Foxes, even if that means leaving them again, knowing full well his absence would destroy them. Neil constantly thinks of himself as selfish, because he’s been taught that wanting anything other than survival is selfish, but he’s nothing but selfless. Andrew puts it best, he has a martyr complex, and he genuinely wants to do right by everyone, even if that means having little to no regard for his physical safety. He risks abuse and injuries to get people to come together, and honestly, anyone who spends time trying to crack Andrew’s shell is a saint. I didn’t much care for the Foxes when I met them, but in this book, I had fallen in love with all of them. Dan was always great, though she takes a back seat here, mostly so we can have more time to get to know the rest of the cast. Renee was always the character I struggled with the most, but I liked her a lot here. I liked that she knew exactly when to push and when to leave things be, both with Andrew and Neil. I honestly wish we could have been in her perspective when she got Jean out of Evermore, that was such a badass scene. I liked Alison least in book 1, but I loved her here. She was an amazing character; I loved that she and Neil finally got a chance to talk and come to terms with Neil being responsible for Seth’s death, that she was allowed to be angry with Neil for the entirety for book 2. She is unapologetic about everything, from how hot, rich and done up she is, to how devoted and aggressive at exy she is too. I also loved that she was the one who got the trophy shelf. Matt was always my favorite character, and he was just a gem here. I always loved him the most out of the boys, and nothing has changed; he is as funny and kind, as ever, and he was always there for Neil, even when Neil wouldn’t admit he needed help. Also his reaction to the Maserati was priceless. Nicky was the one character who I was never sold on. He is the emotional core of the group in the sense that he gives Neil the push he needs to finally recontextualize his life and his priorities. He’s a man who just wants very badly to be liked and loved, and he’s constantly put in situations where he isn’t able to do that. Nicky was more prominent in book 2, though, so this book didn’t develop him any further. Kevin too was someone who got the bulk of his character development in book 2, but seeing him finally step into his own, stand up to Rico, take control over his life and get the 2 tattoo of his face was amazing. I loved that he got there gradually, but he still got there, and though he never became any more likable, it was so gratifying to see his growth. Aaron was the character I never liked, and I absolutely didn’t like him here either. That fight he has with Neil pissed me off so much, and I loved that Andrew picked Neil over Aaron, which at least showed me that he was a little more observant than he looked. Finally Andrew. Almost more than Neil, this series revolves around Andrew. Everything Neil does is to protect Andrew, which was a complete 180 from book 1, where Neil was willing to risk Andrew’s life just for a chance to play exy. Like Kevin, Andrew never becomes more likable, and his development is rather subtle and slight, but it’s still such a different place from where he started in book 1. He never truly becomes a good person, but he learns to accept people for the decisions that they make, and to let at least one other person in. His relationship with Neil was so well developed, that authors should learn how to write a good slowburn from it. The slow build of first begrudging trust, then friendship and finally romance was excellent, and for one I really didn’t mind the whole ‘I don’t care about gender, because I’m only attracted to you’ trope. I loved the revelation of Andrew’s photographic memory, because it tied so well with both his character and the scene where Neil asks him how Andrew can let anyone touch or kiss him after everything he’s been through. That he trusts Neil because he knows Neil would never do anything Andrew would say no to was really great. I also fucking called the whole he’s taking drugs for being a psychopath; it feels so good to be vindicated. Overall, I really enjoyed this final book. The series as a whole does have a lot of flaws, and it’s definitely an acquired taste, but I’m glad I read it. Each book kept getting better, and I feel like Sakavic really hit her stride with the second and this book in terms of her characters and plot. It’s a classic YA series for a reason, and I do recommend it if you can stomach the abuse/violence; I’d be curious to read anything else this author has in store.

[wesawbears]

My gift for @softproko for @aftgexchange! This is some Kevin/Jeremy/Jean soulmate au. In my excitement, I forgot about the winter/Christmas theme, so that part is a little messy, but I hope you enjoy all the same!

Follow the read more

--

Jean remembers being told by his mother when he was very young that he was lucky, blessed even, to have two soul marks- a sun on his right wrist and a crown on his left. He learns quickly that Moreaus are anything but lucky though and when he meets Riko and hears “king”, he wants to scratch the crown off his wrist. He tries, but soul marks are not easily marred and it stays there, unblemished, even when the rest of Jean is marked and bruised and scarred.

He’s fifteen when he learns that Riko has no soul mark and the relief that rakes through his body is palpable. Kevin whispers it to him during one of their late night French lessons. He shows Kevin the mark he thought was Riko’s with trembling hands and Kevin’s eyes widen when it starts to glow, the way soul marks do when they meet their match. He runs his hand over it, biting his lip in concentration, careful the way Kevin is about everything.

That night is the first time he kisses Kevin, neither of them daring to breathe for fear of waking Riko. It’s not a very good kiss- neither of them knew how to be tender then- but Jean feels something click into place, and he feels like maybe it isn’t so bad to be broken if he and Kevin can be broken together.

It’s not the most functional setup in the world, but it’s what they know and it keeps them warm at night when they forget what it feels like to see the sun. Jean glances at his other soul mark from time to time, but there’s no sun in the Nest and since he’s never getting out, he figures there’s no use wasting time on it.

By the time he thinks to ask Kevin if he has one too, Kevin is gone.

Kevin doesn’t talk about his soul marks to anyone once he leaves for Palmetto, not wanting to give the Foxes any ammunition to use against him. They’re hostile in a different way than the Ravens and he’s still guarding his secrets.

He’s never heard Andrew say a word about soul marks, but he catches sight of Kevin’s when he’s inspecting his hand. “Two? Some might say you’re being greedy.”

Kevin wrenches his hand out of his grip. “It’s not like I have any control over it.”

He expects Andrew to push, but he just laughs and Kevin covers his marks again. Thinking of Jean still feels like salt in an open wound and looking at the moon on his wrist only serves to make his heart ache worse. He knows Andrew won’t say anything because he has no room to talk, with the way he hides the paw on his neck.

Seeing Jean at the banquet months later is enough to lodge his heart in his throat, but he doesn’t miss the way Jean jumps when their marks brush. It would give him some satisfaction, but there’s too much hurt there to find anything but a gaping hole in his chest.

He wonders sometimes if that’s why he has a second mark; he fucked up so spectacularly with Jean that the universe decided he would need a fresh start. For a while he’d wondered if it was Thea, but the mark hadn’t glowed when she touched it. He supposed it was for the best. He didn’t think anyone whose mark was the literal sun should be saddled with him.

But it didn’t stop the stupid spark of hope in his chest when he saw it.

--

Jeremy’s always loved the idea of soulmates. He walked around eagerly as a kid, showing his marks to everyone and holding his breath in hope that someone would light up one of his marks. He asked his mother once why he had two when most people had one, but she just kissed his forehead and told him it was because he was so loved.

He doesn’t feel loved when he gives his heart away to so many people, only to receive heartbreak in return. Eventually, he stops showing off his marks, trying to leave it up to fate when he finds his soulmates.

Which is why discovering that one of them is Jean Moreau comes as a complete surprise. Jean has never shown any of the Trojans his mark, though Jeremy suspects his mark is on his wrist from the way he keeps his sleeves pulled over them at all times.

He doesn’t pry, but one day Jean’s sleeve rides up when Jeremy hands him a coffee and the moon on Jeremy’s wrist glows.

He’s speechless, staring at the mark in wonder, so for once Jean takes the lead and says, “I should have known you were the sun.”

Jeremy’s answering smile proves him right. “Sun and moon? So we’re that couple?”

“Are we a couple?” Jean asks softly.

Jeremy flushes. He hadn’t meant to assume. Maybe that was why he had two marks; his first soulmate didn’t want him, oh god-

“Jeremy? Did you hear me? I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me.”

Jeremy can only nod because he’s wanted, he’s loved. He’s so wrapped up he doesn’t think to ask Jean about the crown.

--

Of course, once Jeremy and Jean start going out, it’s hard to ignore the crown they both have on their left wrists. Jeremy knows by now that it’s Kevin, but his and Jean’s relationship is so fraught that for a few years he knows better than to bring it up.

They’re all on the Olympic team and twenty-seven when Jeremy decides it’s time.. Things aren’t perfect, but Jean’s doing better, so much better and Jeremy figures there’s no time like the present.

He doesn’t expect Jean to agree, but he relishes the nod he gets. He squeezes Jean’s hand in thanks and brings his hand up to kiss his mark.

--

They land at the airport and Kevin is waiting for them, like he agreed he would be. When Jean and Kevin lock eyes, it’s different. This Kevin looks both more timid and more assured than the Kevin he knew. It’s enough to let him believe that maybe they can start over, that maybe they don’t have to be defined by their past forever. Evermore took enough from them- Jean is not about to let it take this.

Jeremy greets him first. “Hello, Kevin! Happy Christmas.” He hands him a small box, which Kevin opens to reveal a small charm. Kevin looks puzzled, but Jeremy laughs and hands him something else. “Tickets to go to a game with us. I know what you like.”

Kevin smiles his true smile. “Thank you. I- got you this. I didn’t know what else.” It’s only a piece of airport coffee cake, but Jeremy’s face lights up.

“How did you know baking is the way to my heart?”

Jean’s chuckle prompts Kevin to look at him. “Hello Jean.”

“Kevin.”

He lets Kevin stand there unsure for another moment before laying a hand on his wrist and watching the way their marks light up feels like coming home. They hug and feeling Kevin in his arms after so long is the Christmas gift he never asked for, but always wanted. They usher Jeremy over and the way their wrists light up in tandem is more beautiful than any string of lights.

[forestlyprince]

A gift for @wildsfoxes for the @aftgexchange. I’m so sorry about how late it is! It’s kind of a weird headcanon-fic-hybrid thing, but I used the prompt of Neil Christmas shopping for the foxes for the first time. Anyways, I hope you like it! Happy Holidays!

We’re going shopping, the text reads. At first Neil is kind of confused because he and Allison have standing shopping dates, on the first Saturday of each month (unless they have a game, in which case it becomes the first Sunday) and today is neither a Saturday nor the first weekend of the month. It’s a Wednesday.

Why? he sends back, before turning his attention back to the exy game on his laptop. He’s been watching some of the Foxes’ past games to try and figure out what the major issues are and what drills he can introduce to practice to help fix it. They’d won the game, but barely and he was tired of hearing Kevin complain.

Because it’s almost Christmas and also because I want to. Come meet me outside.

He thinks about it for a moment and then closes his laptop with a sigh. Andrew has class right up until his meeting with Betsy but he messages him quickly, just to let him know where Neil is going, and then pulls on his shoes, grabs his keys and wallet, and is out the door.

Shopping with Allison is nice—it always is. Normally, she’ll pick a store and then they’ll separate for a few minutes while they look around, and then come back together with heaps of clothing in their arms. Some of it for themselves, some of it for each other, occasionally something for one of the other Foxes. Allison is good about respecting Neil’s boundaries when it comes to clothes, but also introducing him to new styles and colors. And somehow she always finds the softest clothing?? He doesn’t understand how she does it, but all but one of his favorite sweaters are from her. And his fuzzy socks.

This time, though, they separate with the intention of staying separate for a while.

“I’m buying presents for everyone and I don’t want you to see!”

“Why not?”

“Because some of them are for you and also I don’t want any of the surprises ruined.”

He almost opened his mouth to remind her that he was one of the best secret-keepers on their team, but the look she gave him just made him shrug and nod, a small smile on his face. This would work for him.

“Meet in the Food Court in an hour or so?” Neil asked.

“Yeah, for sure.” And then she’s gone, pushing through the crowd and past the Auntie Anne’s kiosk and into a Hot Topic of all things.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know who she was shopping for in there.

He also wasn’t sure where to start, now that he was on his own. He had a vague idea of what he wanted to get everyone, but this was also his first time going Christmas shopping and somehow that made the whole thing feel more significant.

As he went around to the various shops, Neil kept thinking about what to get everyone. What did people normally get for the friends, they’re family? Last year Nicky had gotten him and Andrew matching coats but that wouldn’t work for anyone on the team. And he already had Andrew’s gift.

In the end, all of the gifts Neil bought were things that, when he passed them, called out to him.

Matt had started cooking a lot this year, taking classes and watching shows and trying to recreate the recipes he found. The knife set Matt had (from Walmart, bought during his sophomore year) was falling apart, though. So Neil bought him a new one, state-of-the-art, with amazing reviews and more different sizes and kinds than Neil thought any chef might ever need.

When he first saw it, he’d felt a flash of fear, his whole body freezing as he remembered the last time he’d been this close to a knife. And then he realized that these were for Matt. Matt who would never hurt anyone, especially not Neil.

Dan’s gift was easier—the newest Harry Potter Page-To-Screen book, as well as the new illustrated Prisoner of Azkaban. Her gifts were finished with something he’d bought online last week, a spa weekend trip for her and Matt. She loved Harry Potter, and she’d been talking a lot this semester about how she wanted to go somewhere and get pampered for once. Neil hoped it wasn’t too weird of a thing to give someone.  

Allison’s gifts were simpler. Things she might have, and probably could have, bought for herself if she’d thought to. A set of unicorn themed make-up brushes, a soft and shimmery holographic jacket (Neil mentally reviewed the rules of what made something Holo as he looked at the jacket. Allison had made him watch a youtuber to try and teach him the difference between holo and iridescent “Because this is something all of my friends, especially you, need to know.” The jacket reflected the colors of the rainbow, so he hoped it was right), and a soft rose-colored beanie with cat ears on its head.

For Renee, Neil found a set of teas he’d heard her talking about, as well as a pastel-colored tea infuser, and finished it up with a rose quartz bracelet.

Nicky’s gift was a simple lamp set, made for long-distance relationships that when one lamp was touched the other would glow. Erik was coming to visit them for the Holidays, and Neil hoped that they both liked the gift.

Aaron and Neil weren’t quite friends, but their relationship had been improving steadily since the trial over the summer. At first, Neil was stuck on what to get him, until he walked past a simple but beautiful leather doctor’s bag. Maybe a bit preemptive, since Aaron was still only a Pre-Med student, but Neil hoped that one day soon he’d be able to use it. Along with the bag, he found a white mug with the words “Keep Calm I’m (almost) a Doctor” on it, and snagged that up as well.

Kevin was probably the simplest. Neil got him a couple of books on the minor wars fought prior to the 20th century, as well a giftcard to the Cheesecake Factory (one of Thea’s favorite restaurants [and Kevin’s too, although he never admitted it. The boy just really likes cheesecake]).

For the Coach, Neil bought a new pocket knife (since the man’s old one had been lost recently at one of their away games) and a set of wood blocks made for whittling. He didn’t quite understand his Coach’s fascination with whittling, but it had apparently been a thing for a couple of months now. He also threw in a bottle of expensive whiskey.

Finally, Abby’s present was two-fold. First, a ton of kid-themed bandaids including Star Wars, Superheroes, and Disney Princess, with a note apologizing for using so many last year. Then Neil picked up a star-wars themed coffee-press and waffle-maker. She’d been wanting a new waffle-maker, and she hadn’t stopped talking about the new Star Wars movie since the first trailer came out.

It was weird, carrying all of the bags (who knew a mall had so many stores??) to the food court, the one with tubes of wrapping paper banging against his shoulder every step he took. In years past, the holidays had barely been a blip on his radar. He and his mom had never exchanged presents. Had only ever known that it was Christmas time because of the ceaseless snow, annoying music, and too-bright twinkling lights everywhere they went.

Now, though, he kind of relished in it. The music (some of it at least) had a nice melody to it. The lights were actually quite pretty. And South Carolina had yet to see any snow, but if they did, he was looking forward to the possible snow-ball fights that might ensue.

So much had changed.

It wasn’t just him and his mom anymore. He wasn’t on the run, or at Evermore. He had a family, and a bright orange tower to return to. A home.

It was nice.