#I love Huxley and he didn't deserve this

[sheawritesstuff]

Too Much

[Huxley x Unnamed Partner]

[Angst - Hurt / No Comfort - 1143 words]

[Contains descriptions of a generally not-great relationship and feelings of inadequacy caused by said relationship - There's a little bit of a sweet twist ending, but only kinda so don't get your hopes up too high]

“I have never thought you were too much. Why would you think that, Hux?” The question was simple, but the answer was anything but. Huxley took a deep breath and prepared to explain the backstory of his deepest-rooted insecurity. 

~

“Why are you giving me this?” They turned the small gift in their hands, looking it over with a harsh stare. Huxley shifted uncomfortably as he searched for the words to explain that he just wanted to. 

“I dunno… I saw it and thought you’d like it, so I got it for you.” He smiled nervously, tugging at the hem of his shirt. They looked back and forth from the trinket to his awkward stance. 

“Well, I don’t. This,” they held it up to his face. “This is trash, Huxley. I don’t like trash.” They threw the frog on the ground, shattering it into tiny green shards. Huxley stared down at the debris, his jaw dropping open slightly. He looked back up to see his partner glaring at him. “Now clean up your mess,” they hissed. 

He almost cried right then and there, but he held it in. He didn’t need to add more fuel to the fire that was their temper. So he swept up the broken glass and threw it away without another word. They sat on his couch and watched him through the entire process, never once offering to help. Oh, and they made him apologize for wasting their time and his money.

He tried making up for it, tried telling them he loved them. The only response he earned was a mumbled, “Mhmm, you too.” But that was close enough, right?

~

And there was the time he took them to see his favorite movie. They were on their phone almost the whole time, but he tried his hardest not to notice. They watched maybe fifteen total minutes of the whole film. But as they were leaving, he casually asked what they thought of it. 

“It was fine, I guess. Don’t know why you like it so much.” They stared off into space as they talked to him, clearly ignoring his attempts at appeasement. Huxley smiled, stepping closer as they walked out of the theater so they could hear him better. He rambled about what he liked about it, the different plot points he found interesting, the character design, the development, the-

“You talk a lot,” they said, cutting him off. “I think you should work on that.” They turned to look at him for the first time since he’d picked them up that afternoon. He froze, letting them walk ahead of him. He stared for a long moment, feeling a dull ache in his chest as he watched the person who was supposed to love him show him nothing but complete disregard. 

~

The only time they ever actually seemed interested in him was in the bedroom. Their hands roamed over his skin - grabbing, touching, exploring. 

“God, I love your body,” they’d whisper. “I love how strong you are. The way your muscles flex is so fuckin’ hot.” This was the only time they ever said things like that. They never loved him, or his personality, or his humor. They loved his body. 

It felt good, though. The attention, their body against his, the kisses left along his sensitive skin. So he put up with it, hoping maybe they would change. Maybe they would be nicer if he did what they wanted. Just maybe…

After they were done, Huxley would try to be close to them, cuddle close to their warmth as they came down from the peak of pleasure. They shoved him off, scoffing as they scrambled to gather their discarded clothes. 

“You’re so fuckin’ clingy. I don’t do that shit.” 

He all but begged for just a few minutes of closeness, of actual intimacy. All he got was a hissed “I’ve gotta go” before they were popping their shoes on and practically running out the door. 

So he was left alone in a puddle of his own shame. The ebbing warmth of passion mixed with the heat of embarrassment made him uncomfortably warm in his newfound solitude. So he cleaned himself up in silence, just like every other time. 

~

A few days after one of these dalliances, they called and demanded to come over, saying they needed to talk about something. He let them in with a smile and was promptly denied a hug.

“I’m breaking up with you, Huxley,” they said coldly. “I’m done with you.” 

He stood there in his doorway, taken aback by the bluntness of it all. Whatever questions he hoped to ask died in his throat. He stared at the floor for a long moment, trying to wrap his brain around all of it. 

“Did…” his voice was quiet, just barely audible. “Did I do something wrong?” They stared at him with an expression somewhere between disbelief and disgust. They clicked their tongue and looked him up and down. 

“Yes, Huxley. You did a lot of things wrong.” Their tone was sharp, barely concealing the anger bubbling beneath the surface. They glared at him, obviously waiting for him to start groveling, begging for forgiveness, something. But he didn’t. 

“Oh, ok. Can you tell me what I did? So I can be better?” The earnest request was enough to set them off. They started pacing in circles, yelling in his general direction but never actually looking at him. 

“God, I can’t do this anymore! You’re just so-” they waved their arms around wildly, searching for the words. “You’re too much, Huxley! You’re just too much for me to deal with, and I can’t do it anymore!” They screamed, still motioning with their hands. They paused a moment when they realized what they said. They took a deep breath and glared at him. “There, I said it. Are you happy now? You’ve got your explanation, so just leave me the fuck alone, alright?” 

They stormed off, slamming his door behind them and leaving him alone for the last time. 

~ 

So that was his story. The long-awaited explanation of why his walls were built so high. He stared down at his own hands, too nervous to meet Damien’s eyes. 

“So, uh, yeah. That’s why, I guess,” Huxley mumbled. A gentle hand cupped his cheek, turning his attention back up to his lover’s face. A soft smile that actually reached his eyes was plastered across his face. 

“I have never thought you were too much, Hux,” Damien’s words were quiet and genuine. “But if I ever, and I mean ever, make you feel like that, tell me. Ok?” Huxley nodded, leaning into his touch and letting his eyes drift closed. His boyfriend pressed a kiss to his forehead and pulled him into a hug. This felt good, felt safe.

“I love you, Huxley.” 

“I love you too, Dames.” 

[aimedis]

redacted characters as things in my journal 🎀

relatively big tw - there's like vague to explicit mentions of su!cid3 and heavily implied mental self-esteem struggles in this one (i'm alright at the moment, promise) so if that's triggering to you, don't read. this is kinda heavy and maybe disturbing to read to some people i think.

i decided to do this because i though it was kinda fun and cool to like analyse my stuff and the characters a little bit. sorry if this offends anyone ig? idk 😭 i'll be back with the more lighthearted stuff in a couple days okay let's go ->

darlin: "my feelings aren't in my control most of the time. i don't know why i feel this way."

angel before they broke up with micheal: "i think is funny (but i also feel bad) that he's always talking about "getting married" and "forever" when i have a break up letter sitting in my notes."

freelancer: lyrics to "making the bed - olivia rodirgo"

darlin: "i don't wanna talk about him anymore."

damien: "i just want my mom. and i wish i could go up to her just bawling my fucking eyes out like i'm five-years-old without feeling like a fucking failure but i can't... i've survived long enough and i can do it some more."

darlin before sam: "and a part of me will always miss what once was or could have been. but i know they will never be long term, permanent, or reality. i wasn't created to have a happy ending... but i'm okay with this. it makes it easier to slip away and disappear."

cutie: i don't know what so say really. i just feel empty and alone often. i feel out of place. i feel like everything i do is humiliating or straight up wrong. i don't know what's wrong with me."

gavin: "try as i might, i still feel like i am not in my body. living vicariously... through myself?"

baabe: "i should know. my dad didn't want me enough to stay."

lasko: "man what a fucking baby. stop crying over shit that hasn't even happened."

damien before huxley: "i wish i was dead. do you think if [mom] knew she'd wish that too?" (knew that he was gay)

lovely: lyrics to "strangers - ethel cain"

darlin: "i hope it's not my fault when it's all over. i want one thing to not be my fault. but it probably will be."

angel: "why am i crying. again. over and over and over again. it's all i ever do. cry about this or cry about that."

milo post-inversion: "this hurts a lot more than i thought. the thought of feeling like this forever? it sucks."

freelancer: "fucking kill me. i can't breathe."

sam: "is it wrong to think i don't deserve this or that it's not my fault?"

lasko: "it feels like i'm always apologizing."

david: "it really hurts when i need to talk to [him] so bad but i can't."

huxley post-inversion/xavier's death: "is it just always going to feel like this? holy shit this hurts."

damien: "i'm sorry, mom, i'm sorry."

vincent: "the real me? i don't know who that is anymore."

angel: "one more or one less, nobody's worried. my tummy hurts."

darlin before sam: "i don't plan on feeling like this again. i don't plan on "being in love" ever again. as if i know what that feels like... it makes me feel like shit all the time."

cutie: "after this, i'll go back to being alone. like god intended."

asset: "it's kind of sad how i don't even feel like a person sometimes."

lovely: "every so often it hurts so much i think it's gonna rip me apart from the inside."

asher post-inversion: "and it's like, sometimes it straight up feels like i'm gonna die in that moment."

sweetheart: "my greatest sin to men was being a child."

damien: lyrics to "forwards beckon rebound - adrianne lenker"

[anexistingexistence]

Saw someone do something like this somewhere, no idea where the post went otherwise I would have linked it but whatever-

Assigning Redacted characters Mindless Self Indulgence songs (From someone who is very normal about that band) in no particular order and with the occasional quote from the song:

Gavin: Tight. [I didn't have a say in the matter, he picked it himself-]

Damien: Witness. [Me assigning him this song is a positive thing, I promise.]

Huxley: On It. [The Imperium is strong with this one...]

Kody: Get It Up. [ :) ]

Lasko: Revenge. [We all know this man just wants to bash some heads in and is doing his best not to.]

The Shaw pack in general: Ass Backwards. [Listen to the song, it's a vibe.]

Vincent: Molly. [Because Vincent was a good girl and he knew the reasons why-]

Sam: Bed Of Roses. [He deserves his little emo song, let him have it.]

Alexis: Evening Wear. [Originally planned on only doing voiced characters, but "It's not fair to be compared to you" is a line that just fit too well.]

William(/Vega): 1989. [*insert old man joke here]

Elliott: What Do They Know. ["Mess me up beyond all recognition. For what it's worth, I'd do it again" - because this man will sacrifice himself and everything for Sunshine with no regrets and we love him for that.]

Blake: Pay For It. ["I don't want you to hate me. I want you to wanna hate me. I don't want you to date me, I want you to wanna date me" - his constant internal struggle with his feelings for Bestie summed up very nicely.]

Regulus: 3 S'. [Doesn't fit 100% but the sentiment is there.]

Avior: Due. [I could quote a line from the song here, but I'd end up just putting most of the lyrics here. So. "Die, my darling" is the one I will go with.]

Guy: Bitches. ["This is how it should be done" indeed.]

Aaron: Mastermind. [No, I will not elaborate.]

Honorable listener mention:

Freelancer: Sex for Homework. [In homage to their humble beginnings.]

[anonymousredactedconfessions]

Freelancer and Gavin make me so happy! They weren't my favorites at first (I didn't dislike them or anything just sorta thought they were fine!), but something about the way Gavin loves Freelancer so much is so beautiful to me? I think it hit me during Inversion when it was like Gavin's love for them basically saved thousands of people's lives when his need to protect them from more despair made his magic (what makes him up as a being) rip out of him with a barrier so huge, Huxley and Damien thought multiple people were creating it. In the sleep audio, Gavin mentioned that he's also made up of emotions/feeling as well and he's like so overwhelmingly in love with them/feels them so much that I've seen people comment to ask if what he was saying means he literally made up of his love for FL as a being? Which is so poetic and pretty to think about and doesn't feel that far off.

Beyond the scope of their love for each other, it seems like even the *type* of love they get from the other is exactly what they need? Like Gavin is young (very, very, very x657 much so for a demon and tbh even compared to general human population), but he has mentioned spending it around people treating him awfully for what he is, no one wanting to get close enough to him to even introduce him to friends, people even at university asking him to change his body/himself, wearing a mask because of all of it, thought he was so undeserving of love. The videos (including the recent sleep one) showing that FL loves him as he is, made him learn slowly that he could be loved and bring someone happiness, that he is not lesser than as a demon, and that he is worthy of/deserves a love that is all-encompassing too.

Then with Freelancer (I'm trying not to add headcanon here and I don't think this is projection? I don't have enough natural empathy or therapist friend energy to kinnie Freelancer lol), their first video started off with them alone with no one except Caelum trying to get them out of bed being sad. They put other people ahead of themself so often that all the D.A.M.N. bois have commented on it at least once, they bottle up their emotions to a breaking point, and (especially in S1) will run themself into the ground to help others. Gavin has held them when they had another 'sad & in bed' time and told them they aren't a burden and that they are loved. FL has someone that puts them before everyone else now. Gavin has mentioned that the magic in him naturally wants to bring FL peace in his words so it does just that. He's told them multiple times to not apologize for feeling/for their emotions. I could keep listing for both, but they both love each other in a way that feels almost fairytale like to me. It's so pretty.

.

[sea-owl]

Alright, since you gave me green light to continue this, hope you know you brought this upon yourself.

In the isekai Portia au (i'm reading too many webtoons with that concept and i'm inspired), we talk a lot about the Spouses and how they could deal with their new lives, whenever with memories or not, but we forget that Portia had already two oldest daughters: Prudence and Philippa. I know we mostly forget them because they were barely characters, both in the original story and in canon, but imagine the potential they could have under this new Portia's tutelage.

Portia wouldn't allow any of her kids grow being stupid or anything less than independents, so it's only natural Prudence and Philippa get a makeover too.

Being the oldest, Prudence has a lot of potential. I imagine that she'll be the one to take upon her mother's teachings most religiously and try everything to be like her. I picture her as an eternal widow. She has gotten married multiple times with rich men, but somehow, they always suffer terrible accidents and leave poor Prudence alone and heartbroken. Luckily, she managed to have children with all of them previously, so at least she can keep a physical memory of them...and their fortunes too

Philippa is, surprisingly, the most normal one. She's not above of indulging in illegal activities, finding them entertaining enough and joining Penelope more often than not in her schemes, but she prefers to be an spectator and laugh on the sidelines. She marries Flinch out of interest first, because like her sisters, she wants money and live well, and that poor idiot seems so infatuated by her she can't miss the opportunity. But she happens to fall in love with him on the way, so all plans to become a rich widow dissapear. Regardless, she's very protective of her sweet, simple-minded husband and doesn't mind putting her mother's teachings to use to ensure no one steals the man away from her.

They deserve to shine too. They're still Featheringtons after all

Yeah, that's always been a struggle for me of how to include Prudence and Philippa. Not that I don't want to, but with a huge cast of characters, unfortunately, sometimes some get lost.

But I like these ideas.

Prudence is an international black widow. She's got a husband in France, one in Spain, one in Denmark, one in Prussia. All ending in such horrible accidents. Thankfully, she has been able to secure their future by having children and future heirs. Her newest husband would be her first English husband, Mr. Robert Huxley. She kinda likes him. She may keep him.

Philippa has joined her family and pseudo cousins on trips to do illegal activities, but she has enjoyed more being a spectator. Or she was the one who distracted the mothers, more specifically Portia, so they didn't worry. When Mr. Finch came along Philippa thought he would be her one and done lover. She didn't have aspirations like her younger sisters, nor did she care much for multiple fortunes like Prudence. Philippa honestly wanted a quiet life. Marry him, pop a kid out to secure that bag, and then if he mysteriously passes, we'll Philippa will be a wealthy widow. She does not expect to fall in love with her awkward but adorable husband. Her family doesn't expect it either. None of this stops Philippa from doing whatever it takes to keep her husband, even if it means committing a few illegal acts herself.

Philippa will laugh her ass off later when her family falls in love themselves. Especially with Felicity, who somehow unknowingly seduced a married couple.

[starlitangels]

here are some of mine!

-marie is 1000% besties with all the mates. (including sam) they gossip abt the pack and sam will complain abt the latest stunt vincent pulled (marie definently tells them embarrassing stories from when the wolves were teens)

-fl has trouble focusing sometimes (same bestie) and just needs someone in the room in case they get off task

-ash sometimes shows up to babe's work unannounced. he'll text them to see if they're busy and if they arent he'll respond like 10 minutes later with "cool, can you let me in? :)"

-david and angel make lunches for each other every other week

-the clan has game nights (dont ever try to get any of them to play twister again..)

-damien and hux have an unspoken thing where they just.. take each other's jackets. like all the time. the rest of the friend group has noticed but it's cute so they dont say anything. (fl and gav definitely talk abt it in private tho)

-sweetheart can take david in a fight (barely)

-lovely collects rocks and vincent lowkey feeds into it (they both love coming up with names for them)

-geordi lives in converse

-smartass was that kid who never spoke except that one time they talked back to a teacher and got written up (teacher lowkey deserved it but u didnt hear that from me)

OMG!

Marie being Mama Wolf to the mates and Sam (even though Sam, really, is not that much younger than her. He was turned at like 30 and Marie is like, "still my new son-in-law") is amazing. I'm just thinking they have a group chat where Marie is always like "Hey I made too much pasta, who wants some?" Or just randomly drops recipes in it and then twenty minutes later a photo of Milo as an eight-year-old, tangled up in some prank Asher pulled while Baby Asher is seen cackling in the background

FL, FL, same bestie. I can focus on certain things alone, but oftentimes but I need someone there to keep me on track.

Ash is a mood. My husband turns up at my clinic for lunch unannounced sometimes and it's very sweet and I think it makes Babe's day more often than not XD

Awww! Davey and Angel making each other's lunches! That's so cute!

OMG never let vampires play Twister. William wins at Monopoly every time but Sam kills it at Risk. And don't get me started on the idea of when Bright Eyes is the traitor in Betrayal At House On The Hill—no one survives

Hux and Damien stealing each other's jackets is 10/10. Huxley's is too big on Damien and Damien's barely fits on Huxley's arms and shoulders XD

I feel like Sweetheart beating David in a fight is conditional and they have, like, a 50/50 shot of actually beating him and only if they play their cards right. Once they figure that play out, though, they can beat him fairly consistently

Lovely is a mood. I was a rock collector kid. I still am. I still have a very vivid memory of my best friend picking up my backpack and being like, "What is in there? Rocks!?" And me promptly reaching into the backpack and pulling out a couple rocks like, "Yeah."

Geordi 🤝 Me      Converse I love Converse so much and, tbh, that really vibes with Geordi. I love it.

Love that Smartass didn't talk back to anyone growing up and then worked for Aaron and had 0 problems arguing with him with 0 respect for him as their boss XD

I love these! So much fun!

[softredrobin]

For the ask game: 31, 32! ^^

I see u making me do a self call out.

Got kinda long bc I am both very emotional and have a lot of favorite quotes so I'm gonna drop a cut to spare the dashes of other folks lol

31. Video(s) that made you cry?

FL S1:

Bakadere Empathy Daemon Asks You For Help

All three "Meeting Up With a _______ Elemental" videos for Huxley, Lasko, and Damien in S1

Comforted by an Arrogant Incubus

Shaw Pack/Solaire Clan:

Tsundere Werewolf Boyfriend Breaks Down

Confronted by Your Pack Alpha

Getting Closer to Your Vampire Mate

Comforted After a Hard Day at Work by Your Alpha Werewolf Boyfriend

Helping Your Sweet Werewolf Boyfriend Get Back to Sleep

Helping Your Werewolf Boyfriend Shift Again

FL S2/Inversion:

Shock and Awe at the Elemental and Energetic Games Qualifiers (it didn't originally... but now it does)

Voices Gone Silent

Right Here

The Void They Leave Behind

All Along

Aftershock/FL S3/Misc Post-Inversion:

Consoling (And Consoled By) Your Elemental Friends

Your Unempowered Boyfriend Tries to Comfort You

Comforted and Cared For by Your Incubus Boyfriend

I think I got them all..? Yikes.... I cry a lot.

32. Favorite quote(s)?

I'll be the first to direct you to my redacted hands series, but regardless.... here's some of my favorites (be warned, two of them in particular are...longer than the others). Also a warning for a quote that talks about the bridging incident.

"God damn it, we've earned some joy in this fuckin' life."

"Home is you, wherever that is."

"Stars are nice, but... I like looking at you better.

"It's okay. You’re safe. You don’t have to hide away anymore, sweetheart."

"What happened with him didn’t mess you up, or leave you as something that needs fixing, or anything like that, any of those shitty feelings that that asshole left in his wake. If you want to do this, it isn’t about him. It’s about you, and the person you choose to share it with. He doesn’t get to have that hold on you. Bridging is a beautiful thing that we have the power to do. And it should be beautiful for you when it happens. When it happens because you chose to do it, and you knew what it was, and it’s done with someone who cares and knows and trusts you. So yes. I would consider it an amazing fucking gift if you chose to share that with me. And I swear on everything I’ve got that I’d treat it with the respect that something like that deserves."

"Being with you makes me happy. The happiest I’ve ever been. I love you."

"Hey, you don’t have to hide your face. You are incredibly brave. And incredibly strong. And you have been walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders without so much as a flinch. You are someone truly remarkable. Please. Believe it when I say that. You can set the world down now. That doesn’t make you a failure. That doesn’t make you weak. There’s no finish line you didn’t get to, there’s just your life stretched out ahead of you. And there are people in that life who care about you. Very much. People who aren’t going to think less of you, or turn away from you if that weight starts to slip off your shoulders. We are people who will rush to your side to bolster you. To carry some of that burden when it gets to be too much. We’re here for you. I’m here for you."

"And you’re currently holding the hand of an incredibly handsome and painfully humble man, so your taste in that department also seems exceptional if I do say so myself."

"'Yes'? That’s all I get? Well sure, it’s enough, but where’s the weeping, where’s the drama, where’s you cutting me off with a kiss like some kind of movie– ow, why are you hitting me–"

"Hey. Are you all right? No, I'm not talking about 'will be'. I'm talking right now. Are you all right?"

"I got you. Of course I'll stay. You don't have to keep the armor up tonight. The fighting's done. You can just rest."

"This is your pantry? You know there's supposed to be food in here, right? Do I dare even open that fridge… How are there so many condiments and no actual food?!"

[dangergays]

all of my redacted ocs!!!! probably!!!!!!! i have a lot!!!!!!!!!! there might be a part two!!!!!!!!!!!!! @batz-zzz pspspsppsps i am feeding u oc lore

in this post i have max, kaden, jack, lachlan, emerson, ajax, percy, nixie, and briar

listener ocs:

max acheson (darlin', tanker)

werewolf (shaw pack)

gay trans man (he/him)

literally daddy issues incarnate. he's really fucked up

self preservation??? idk her

gabe taught him how to play guitar when he was little but he doesnt play anymore bc it reminds him too much of gabe and it makes him sad :'(

kaden elliott (freelancer)

freelancer ofc

another gay trans man (he/him)

in a polycule with huxley, damien and lasko! they'll sometimes... mess around... with gavin but he's more of a friend with benefits

embodiment of all things sweet and pure hes just wonderful i love him sm

hes a singer/songwriter!! he plays guitar and piano and writes mostly alternative/folk punk music inspired by bands like the front bottoms and the mountain goats

works at a daycare and is vv good with kids!! damien went to pick him up from work one time and saw him surrounded by these tiny humans and his heart melted it was so sweet to watch him

he's autistic and has rlly big sensory problems, made much worse after. yknow. kody

lots of internalized ableism bc of kody and his parents and actually most of his friends growing up (they weren't really his friends but he didnt realize at the time)

he just. he needs affection. pls cuddle him and kiss him he deserves it

hes kinda fucked up ngl. like mentally

other ocs:

jackson mackay

werewolf (shaw pack)

also a gay trans man (he/him)

pretty punk boy play drums make gay heart go brrrrrrr i love him

drummer for the band patchwork!!

he's also autistic with bad sensory problems (especially loud noises) so he has to wear like a bunch of shit on his ears so he doesnt have a meltdown in the middle of a concert

once he actually did have a meltdown during a concert and it was a horrible experience

loves horror movies and the addams family

emerson and briars boyfren <3333

laoise mackay

werewolf (shaw pack)

pansexual demigirl (she/they)

half sister to jack!!! shes around 18/19 and lives on the d.a.m.n. campus with her girlfriend

bassist for patchwork

nixies girlfren <3333

emerson shaw

electro energetic (also shaw pack tho)

another gay trans man im so original (he/him)

david shaw's beloved adopted son with a lot of anxiety

lead singer of patchwork

jack and briars boyfren <3333

ajax monroe

earth elemental, 2nd year at D.A.M.N.

hey guess what its another gay trans man lol (he/him)

besties with nixie and lachlan

very into cottagecore and light academia

stereotypical plant dad with adhd

percys boyfren <3333

percival (percy) antonis

fire elemental, 2nd year at D.A.M.N.

gay transmasc/demiboy (he/they)

stoic anger issues ™

ajaxs boyfren <3333

him and ajax are a classic dynamic of brooding dark emo x sunshine incarnate

also the typical "i hate everyone except you"

nixie oakes

freelancer, 3rd year at D.A.M.N.

lesbian transfem/demigirl (she/they)

literally like. just a goddess

not like literally a goddess but she's just really good at everything she does

plays guitar and occasionally sings, also writes music

lead guitarist/songwriter for patchwork

insanely talented with all things aesthetic??? like she almost went to a cosmetology school so she could become like a professional makeup artist but eventually decided on D.A.M.N. instead

even though she didn't end up going to school for it she's really good at hair and makeup

laoises girlfren <3333

briar callahan

stealth

gay trans man (he/him)

jack and emersons boyfren <3333

love love loves books and everything to do with reading/writing!!! he works at a library!!!

he even makes his own books. like he makes paper recycled from newspapers n stuff and he will literally bind them into his own books

makes books for his bfs all the time!!! he makes sketchbooks for emerson and songbooks for jack and they both love it sm

literally has written like 3 books before even turning 18. they're all fantasy gay romance novels <3

has some pretty severe adhd tbh. lots of forgetfulness, mood swings, hyperfixations, etc.

the absolute biggest fan of his bfs he loves them sm and supports absolutely everything they do always

literally almost never misses any of their shows

he missed a show one time bc he had to work and literally cried about for like. thirty minutes

has common sense but actively chooses to ignore it bc he has no impulse control and his bfs dont either so they end up doing lots of stupid shit together

[veneli]

hello hello!! for the redacted ask game; 11, 15, & 19? (hope you’re doing well and having a lovely day/night!!)

My night has been lovely, thank you! It is currently 12am PST and I have school tomorrow, but I can't sleep so here I am on tumblr *jazz hands*

@sweetheartmilo's request!

Hey!! Thanks for asking, both of you!

Both are very similar questions from the game, so I’ll put them together.

Spoilers for Avior's latest installment below!

11. Character(s) you want to know more about? FUCK, AVIOR. I NEED

But for real, after that last installment, and that deadly cliffhanger, even deadlier than his fall down to the first circle - I have perished and I am fighting the River's current. I was so invested in his storyline, and we kinda got pushed to the back burner a little bit for DAMN Season 2 and Inversion (no complaints, well, maybe a little grumble). Erik deserves a break. But gOd do I need Avior to survive rn. (New kind of d(a)emon: one that can only live off the energy of another d(a)emon. That would be very complicated)

15. What character(s) would you want to be friends with? To be frank there's many, but here's the ones that are definitely not 99% similar to my friends I have IRL. Huxley. and Lasko. and Elliott. and Geordi. Huxley: very huggable and is a nature freak (same), mountains person, will 100% steal hoodies and will ramble for hours about things he likes (I will listen 100%) and I need someone to yell at me to drink water.

Lasko: Anxiety bros! there's always something on our minds and we are equally distracted and stressed. Would lose a game of (insert video game) to 100%, I can't play to save my life, but I imagine it would be epic going against him. Also, I heard he likes bowling?? Count me IN.

Elliott: Dreamer, probably a Pisces (me too!!). Likes astrology, flirty, sweet, best friend type. Will stay up with him to look at the stars or just talk about random shit then fall asleep while he rambles because his voice is so calming and relaxing <3 (as the dreamwalker boyfriend, I wonder sometimes why he doesn't have a sleep aid yet...)

Geordi: CHOATIC. Overthinker, careless, forgetful, and brain all over the place (like me)! However goofy, will set boundaries and respect with every ounce of his being. He's like the kind to hug you from behind and the type to run and crash for a hug and I live for that. We can be stupid together and not give a damn.

19. Which character(s) are you most similar to?

I would like to say a cross between Asher and Damien. (I know, what?) High standards like the both of them, having both a serious side (Damien) and a fun side (Asher), Loyal to a cause and my friends and family, responsible in school and tries to be on top of things. Take on high responsibility and do my best to fulfill what my superiors ask of me and my own standards. Stubborn like Damien, and conscious of when I need breaks.

34. What was your first Redacted video you listened to? It was a Vincent audio! I joined the fandom about 10 months ago, in May of 2021, just as DAMN S1 was closing up with the non-canon DAMN boy confessions. I just started getting into ASMR content, and I was drawn towards the supernatural and fantasy, then I was lucky enough to have Erik grace my feed with "Found By a Flirty Vampire". HIS FIRST EVER VIDEO ON REDACTED. HOW LUCKY!!

After that video I was like, "yo, this Vincent guy is pretty nice, I WANT MORE" and Lo and Behold, there was an entire fucking library of other supernatural stuff with DAMN 1 ending and the Shifters getting started.

To be honest, I didn't listen to the Ivan "Yandere boy takes you" or the Project Meridian storyline because I'm not too fond of Yandere content and I don't like the overload of personal attention, so I kind of missed out on content from that.

I spent maybe 1-2 weeks catching up and binging all the videos (aside from Ivan and Marcus) from start to finish, including the non-canon game of matchmakers. Waited (impatiently) for The Cost and wondering why Vega was being a dick (realizing later it had connections to Ivan's story).

As you can see, I fell into a spiral and an obsession with supernatural/magical ASMR content and I have never left Redacted since then. I was so caught up with everything already that when Eri hosted the channel trivia for Channel-versary I could answer 80% of the questions.

Cruised through summer and into the Games Prep arc, tiptoed quietly through Imperiem-tober and got scared of a few characters (ehem, Sam, Asher, Huxley, Lasko), Games day arc, then you know what happened. I cried, a lot.

and here's a bonus because I really wanted to answer this one lmao: 23. What kind of Empowered would you be? (ex. Elemental, Energetics, Freelancer, Shifter, Dreamwalker, Deathwalker, Seer, Vampires..ect)

Several personality tests say werewolf Shifter, and I'd say I agree. Pretty loyal (if i do say so myself), I like responsibility, my favourite animals are wolves (no bias), and they're gentle creatures when unprovoked (it's another story when they are). However I think it would be soooo cool to be a Fire Elemental or a Dreamwalker. Fire because, yeahhh arsON I'm always cold and if I can make my own heat/absorb heat that would be great thank you. A Dreamwalker because I'd like to experience how the inside of someone's mind works while they sleep. How the brain comes up with the weirdest scenarios ever, while rearranging memories. Psychology and psychiatry seem pretty interesting from inside the mind.

(I suppose telepath could also work, but with Dreamwalking you get the image and the art rather than just sound and voice.)

[dachi-chan25]

I had books that I either loved or hated so idk maybe I need to do another unhaul to ensure I read books I'll actually enjoy.

1- OtherEarth (Otherworld #2) by Jason Segel

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So this was a big disappointment. It started out fine, but I had this bad feeling about what the twist of this book would be about 50% into it, and then the twist comes and it was just as bad as I feared. Honestly I don't even know if I wanna continue with the last book, I have it but honestly I can't say I am looking forward to it, it wasn't just the plot that fell down but the characters felt pretty inconsistent and yeah not a fan.

2.- Fireborne (The Aurelian Cycle #1) by Rosaria Munda

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The only thing I knew going into this was that it was inspired by Plato's Republic and that it was similar to Game of Thrones, so maybe that is why I found it pretty underwhelming. Like yeah I could see why it was based off the Republic with this system of education (tbh I still found it pretty basic and very much alike to other social systems I've read in other YA books) and there was some intresting tid-bits but not enough to keep me intrested. Now the characters, I liked both individually (unpopular opinion but I liked Annie more, I thought she had real potential but it was wasted because the moment she and Lee have this romance her character completely lost herself on thinking about him and what he did all the time) but I do not think they worked together romantically. There is some potential drama for book 2 but I am not intrested in reading it.

3.- The Mistress (The Original Sinners #4) by Tiffany Reisz

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This book was so good. Yeah it was super predictable, but the drama tho. I really loved Layla, she gave us an outsider's insight on Søren and Nora's relationship, and she is just the sweetest that I instantly knew she and Weasley were gonna get together. I cried at that last confrontation scene with Nora and Marie Laure and I am so happy that Nora is back together with Søren because they are truly a good couple despide everything.

4.-Gods of Jade and Shadow - Silvia Moreno Garcia

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I LOVED it. Ever since I saw the cover I was sold. This book I feel like it was meant for me. Like our protagonist Casiopea Tún is a dark skinned mexican girl of mayan descent in the 1920s who meets one of the lords of Xibalba and goes on a quest to help him retake his throne???? And on the way he falls in love with her so much he is about to forfeit his divinity to have a chance to be with her. I just, it was so beautiful, I felt my culture was really represented here, and it's so wierd to see the 1920's represented in Mexico I don't believe I had read something like this before and I will read anything Silvia Moreno Garcia writes from now on. Hopefully we will have a second book for this because that ending makes me wonder what adventures Casiopea will have.

5.-Little Gods by Meng Jin

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This book blew my mind. The structure is perfect for the themes . Su Lan was a truly fascinating character though I felt very sad about her, always wanting to escape her past and thinking she was so undeserving for anything good in her life and still fighting to go on. The ending was so good, and all the cast of characters made an excellent conection between the past and the future.

6.- As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

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Yeah I am a pretentious ho. I was very intimidated by this book (and anything written by Faulkner really) and I was really having trouble understanding the book at first because the prose is so particular (there are sentences that read like Shakespeare, some are almost Biblical stuff and then most of the dialogue is this very coloquial english with very poor ortography) and as English is not my first lenguage I struggled. But then we get to Addie's death and all this odyssey the family goes through to bury her, and it was so beautiful and exciting. I especially loved everything about Addie's chapter, she was so much better than her husband and she deserved better than what she got. I really liked Dewey Dell and Darl. While I hated Anse Bundren with a passion so the end really made me angry like waaaaat this selfish asshole gets everything he wanted and then some??? But I got why it made sense for the book. So I definitely recommend this, but my advice is to let yourself glide through the book, do not try to understand or make sense of it as you start it because then you become frustrated like it happened to me at first but it's a really beautiful book so I am really considering reading more Faulkner.

7.-Chosen (Slayer #2) by Kiersten White

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I enjoyed this book so much. It's a very easy read and we get some growth on Nina and Artemis. I liked the idea of the Watcher's Castle being a refuge for inofenssive demons. And omgggg I fangirled SO hard when Oz, Harmony and Clem appeared (my fave characters, like literally I only need a Spike cameo in these books to be completely happy). I really wanna see Nina meet Buffy in real life and ahhh I am excited for whatever the next book will bring us.

8.-Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve

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This is perharps my favorite book I read this month. It felt so relevant to things that are happening in the world, but escapist enough to bear it. For starters I love a good urban fantasy setting, and this was it. Z was a great non-binary protagonist (the fact the author is also non-binary also helps) like it was pretty original to make them a zombie when necromancy is viewed as wrong in their society and they get discriminated for it even though they knew nothing about how it happened to them. And their friendship with Aysel (lesbian muslim werewolf girl!!!) and Tommy (shapeshifter boy) was amazing. Like the way this book translates real life bigotry and social injustice to this magical creatures was truly amazing I recommend it to everyone of any age. Especially middle graders as this book is meant for that age group and I feel this is an amazing diverse read for that age group.

9.-El murmullo de las abejas de Sofia Segovia

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Realmente este libro es precioso, soy una super fan del realismo mágico y este libro realmente me toco el corazón. Aunque he de admitir que entre a este libro sin saber nada, y bueno que este libro pega diferente en el 2020, yo no tenía ni idea que este libro nos presentaba la Pandemia de Influenza Española de 1918, y bueno es bastante triste leer todo lo que paso cuando nosotros estamos pasando épocas muy similares. Simonopio es un personaje divino, poseedor de una sensibilidad y una inocencia verdaderamente fuera de esta mundo, y la forma en que la familia Morales lo adopta y lo abraza tan profundamente dentro de la familia es realmente hermosa. Fue muy difícil leer acerca de Anselmo Espiricueta porque puedo ver de donde venía todo ese odio y esa ignorancia que terminaron en tragedia y no puedo dejar de sentir lastima por él a pesar de todo el mal que hace durante el libro. Recomiendo mucho esta lectura.

10.-Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi

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A book so relevant in our current times. So powerful and impactful even if the book is pretty short. We get to see how the systematic racisim at work. We get to get a glimpse of this awful reality through Kev and Ella, two gifted siblings that have lived this experiences in different ways and they cope with this in vastly different ways.It was such an intimate read I cannot begin to describe how angry and sad it made me, but also very glad I got to read it because we need to keep being aware that this is the reality for black people all around the world and they don't get to shy away from it so we shouldn't either we should see, learn and fight as hard as we can to change things for the better.

11.-Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

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I re-read this book to have it fresh in my mind before the new series airs on July. And I liked it better now than the 1st time. This world is so scary because I see so many realistic elements it shares with the present. I felt a lot for Lenina (for everyone who lives in this world really) because she wanted more than what the society had to offer yet was so deeply conditioned as to what was right that she could just supress her emotions with soma. This book is of course full of racist and sexist stuff (cuz woman and indigenous people can never win) but I feel it helps to get a feel about how fucked up society is as a whole. In the reservation woman are subjected to the usual slut shaming and gender roles we get in our society while in London we get a world in which woman are judged for not sleeping around and being happy and infantile. Like it seems controling woman and their relationship to intimacy and sex is always a bit theme is classic dystopic books which makes a lot of sense given it works like that in the real world too. Same thing with indigenous people being treated as savage to congratula te ourselves for being so much more "civilized" never stopping to think how deeply fractured and flawed this may be. We also get explotation and brain washing of working classes and all that fun stuff. Really and amazing book eerily accurate tho.

12.-Brick Lane by Monica Ali.

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This is the story of 2 very different Bangladeshi sisters with very different temperaments making their way through life. Nazneen is a very dutiful daughter that marries the man her father picked for her, moves to London, though her husband doesn't make her happy she tries very hard in this foreign country with so many desires of her own she wishes that she always supresses because of her upbringing. Then we have Hesina, she was always beautiful and runs away with a guy she was in love with, later he abandons her and she gets jobs and loses them because different man keep making her fall for them to abandon them later. Different as they are this 2 Sisters keep relying in each other through letters. I thought it was very moving, and I really liked the ending for Nazneen while Hasina left me feeling worried and unhappy.

13.- Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

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I was very hyped for this book and I am so sad I didn't like it. I just didn't feel the world building was cohesive (we have space travel but we don't have baths??? And rapiers as weapons??? Most of it felt like aesthetic decisions) the characters felt very one dimensional to me. And the plot was all over the place, just when I thought I knew what it was about it takes another turn and introduces so many generes but it did not feel natural at all so yeah I will not be reading the next one.

14.- Luces de Bohemia de Ramón Maria del Valle Inclan

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Me pareció una obra maravillosa. Definitivamente captura el espíritu creativo bohemio.

15 .- Don Juan Tenorio de José Zorrilla

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Yo adoro el Tenorio, sin embargo si que he de decir que prefiero la versión del Burlador de Sevilla de Tirso de Molina pues siento que el final es más adecuado. Me parece que aunque la prosa es hermosa Doña Ines pierde mucha agencia en esta versión, me recuerda mucho más a Angelina de la obra "El Honor del Brigadier" que la versión que hizo de ella Tirso de Molina, definitivamente se romántiza mucho más está figura de seductor canalla en esta versión, aun así es una historia arraigada en México, es una tradición para mi verla cada Noviembre, este año me temo que no será posible así que disfrute muchísimo leerla.