#I live everyday in fear that they might be friends with my family members
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trashbatistrash · 2 months ago
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buttercuparry · 2 months ago
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I am trying to write a post and yet nothing is coming  to me. I don't think there is anything left to be said. Massacres-food shortages-polio epidemic of Gaza, I have talked about it all in an effort to fundraise for my friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ). Mostly because this is what his life has come to, despite not having any say in it at all. A settler colony willed to destroy Gaza and because of that for almost a year, Siraj and his family are: 
having to live in a tent, where there is no relief from either heat, cold or rain
where sand mites and insects keep pestering  the family all day long
causing a breakout of infections amongst Siraj’s sons, and putting the rest of their cousins at risk 
since right now all of Siraj’s extended relatives ( 23 family members)  are currently living with him after being displaced in an IOF attack
I have talked about this and more. I have talked about how every day Siraj has to take risks and go to Deir al-Balah just to get a steady hotspot connection so that he may campaign for his fundraiser and how after all this he gets harassed online because he is a journalist who gives us his daily updates. Beyond this I do not know what else to say to you so that you may donate to Siraj and help him cross this last lap of his fundraiser.
Recently Siraj posted an update about the  massacre at al-Mawasi camp and it hits you hard when you realize that this camp is just 2 km away from Siraj’s own. Everyday when he sends me a message, I breathe a sigh of relief because after all these months- from our first tentative hellos to now when we crack jokes after a machine translated chat goes wrong, there is always a fear that maybe this might just be our last interaction. I know these thoughts have nothing to do with the fundraiser in itself, but my point is, as a  friend, Siraj has requested that I help him reach 82k and right now this is all I can do. So please donate even if it is $3 USD ( $5 CAD). The fundraiser has trickled to almost a crawl and this makes Siraj worry. At least the gfm reaching its goal would be one less burden on him. He has fought so hard for this, please do not let him down now. 
Currently at $78,248 / $82,000 CAD. Only $3752 CAD left to reach his goal. That is approximately 2.7k USD.
Please donate and get Siraj to his goal by this Monday. You got him this far, do not abandon him now.
Vetting 219
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myobsessionsspace · 4 months ago
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maybe a tough question but hypothetically, do you think it would be the end of BTS if Jungkook and jimin ever came out as a couple?
Hypothetically speaking.
For some reason I don’t think the majority of the fandom would be accepting, sadly. 
What are your thoughts? Again, hypothetically. I really doubt they ever would. 
the travel show almost feels like a cushion? If that’s the right way to put it. Like it’s them saying, we’re close. And if upon our release from MS, you catch us out and about together or closer than ever, well, we served together, we travelled together, we are simply close.
a cover. Of sorts.
thoughts?
Hi Lovely,
If it’s ok I’d like to talk about coming out first before I talk about the hypothetical in relation to Jikook.
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Coming Out
As a member of the community myself I can only speak for my own experiences, own up to my lack of experiences, refer to what I’ve learnt from others and resources and it still wouldn’t be enough. Because identity, orientation, expression etc is totally individual. Sometimes it’s constantly evolving and sometimes due to situations left dormant or stifled.
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Sexual orientation for some people is not a one and done. There are many people I know that have come out with one label then have come out later one with another, then another.
I say all that to say one of the key focuses in coming out is to label yourself unambiguously.
This originally was meant to be for the person in question only.
This was meant to be so the person in question could live in their full authentic truth, to no longer have to deal with societal pressures and expectations.
To understand themselves and to have people understand them. To find a community, to be embraced and loved.
Coming out was meant to feel LIBERATING to the person in question, freeing, coming out of a box, a closet if you will.
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Sadly that’s not always the case for everyone.
Sometimes it’s because of the environments they are in, that doesn’t allow for them to be fully embraced, to have that fearless freedom, to have that community. Sometimes it’s just not safe.
Not safe due to the emotional anguish that may be inflicted on the person by those closest to them, those in their everyday environment, those in their wider environment.
It may have physical safety repercussions, financial repercussions, familial and social repercussions, religious conflicts etc.
It may just not be safe because the person in question is not ready to deal with the psychological and emotional effects that may ensue after they coming out because we live in a world where the majority oppress the minority, and being queer is a minority.
No matter how progressive people may view the world to be, through the lense of the internet, in the human body, physically dealing with everything that comes with labelling yourself is a big deal.
On the flip side there are those that are fortunate that they don’t even have to come out. Or any fears aren’t actualised because they’re blessed.
There are people that have never been taught to be fearful of learning themselves, expressing themselves.
They’ve never been taught to view people and their differences in any negative way. They’ve been taught they are in a safe and loved environment that no matter what they do, how they live or who they do or don’t love
They are and will still be loved and have a place.
There are some people that when they do come out their family and or friends would be like ‘oh honey, why are you being formal about it, even the cat knew’
Even with people that have all of the above they may come out to every Tom, Dick and Harry they meet, they may come out to a select few or they might not come out at all.
Because essentially coming out is the person in questions choice. It’s their privilege, it’s their right. It’s theirs.
It’s not the requirement so others around them feel better. It’s not a job requirement, a legal requirement any requirement at all. It’s not a must to prove you’re actually queer. If someone never comes out in their whole life it doesn’t negate their queerness.
Labelling oneself is not for others. It’s for the person.
For them to define themselves if they so wish to, for them to understand themselves, to learn themselves, to appreciate and love themselves.
To find others like them, to cut down time explaining to others if they so wish to about their preferences, expression, identity and so on.
Ok so with that out of the way
Jikook
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- No I don’t think the show is them coming out
- Yes I think the show is to show what we already know and what is one hard fact, that Jikook are best friends and closer than close
- Yes, I’m hoping that it helps those that do know of them and don’t, to accept their closeness as not just co-workers in a group but as a very close duo within the group
- Yes I agree with you, the fandom as a whole, if they were to undeniably be known as a romantic non-heterosexual couple, wouldn’t fully embrace them how we would believe in 2024.
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Sadly one of the things that comes along with boy bands is the fan girl in varying forms. The fan girl that no matter their proximity to the boy band member, their relationship status, their age, whatever, the fan girl puts their wants, beliefs and ideals onto them. They idolise their idol. Sadly the majority boy band fans and BTS’ fans idolise them, fantasise about them. Be it with themselves or a stand in they deem suitable, a woman.
Because heteronormativity is so rooted in their thinking, they can’t see their idols as anything but. What else could they do but be successful then have the wife, kids, pets and picket fence? If not that then the idol will remain the bad boy lothario of their fantasies even grey haired and weak backed.
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For too many people in the world and too many in the fandom being gay first and foremost is seen as defective. To believe that about their idol would be ‘wrong’ in their eyes. If it was to be proven true it would cause an array of negative emotions, thoughts and actions. The most tame being to leave the fandom.
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I’m a very pessimistic person, though I need and seek for positivity. Thats that’s chronic that anxiety & depression baby✨
I have grown up and am surrounded by a culture similar to the SK conservative culture when it comes to nearly everything, gender roles, sexuality etc. I am a minority from a culture that legally, religiously and socially oppresses queer people. I can without the Korean male element wholeheartedly understand being closeted in SK.
I can’t however understand being a celebrity of any kind, let alone a celebrity of their magnitude.
Jikook & Labelling
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We have no clue. From context clues we can assume Jimin to be bisexual, but from nothing directly and explicitly verbalised by him. Through his art, many have drawn this conclusion. There are other assumptions that have been made by some to do with his gender expression and identity. He has only ever referred to himself as a 남자 [man] any and everytime in public. Yes we have evidence of him bucking masculine stereotypes and my understanding of him is that he’s growing and defining HIS understanding of what it is to be a man and it’s not what the society he’s grown up in deems it to be. I have my own views on Jungkook and his orientation *100% mlm gay*
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However not everyone feels the need to label themselves or chooses to and we have no idea when it comes to Jikook, only assumptions. So Jikook may not feel the need to come out because they may not label themselves and feel the need to make that public knowledge through official statements, interviews, on tv etc.
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I can’t see this ever being Jikook, just my opinion 🙈
Like you anon I believe they’ll just keep Jikooking. I don’t believe they would if they wanted to ever come out in a public official statement type of way, they’d just live their lives and let people think whatever they wanted to think.
And if they ever did, it’d most likely be when Bangtan are no longer continuously active, seeing as they want to perform on cruises etc in their 60s, who knows when that’ll ever be.
There are some of my friends that think the same as me and some that think they’ll totally come out in a big way one day and not decades and decades in the future.
If you were able to get to the end of this you’re a real one🙌💪
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A topic like this is something that I couldn’t answer in a short way. I’m not even close to being finished with what I could say, it’s so nuanced and there’s soo much more that could be talked about but this is already wordy AF 😩
Thank you anon
💜
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9800sblog · 1 year ago
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seonghwa ideal type please like the one u did wtih mingi thank you 😊😊😊
seonghwa tarot reading
ideal type personality and appearance
do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? 10 of pentacles
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personality
9 of cups - someone he'd be proud to show off, "one of the guys" (friends with his friends, comfortable with his masculinity), his favorite person in the entire planet, he'd be obsessed, wish fulfillment, dream come true. someone that makes him feel like he won in life by just existing, that gives him crazy intense emotions, someone that wouldn't let him think of anything else, he wants to be intoxicated. he really does seem to like those that have collections, it comes up time and time again. someone that enjoys all his nerdy, and be proud of his achievements, big or small, be it in ateez or animal crossing. may prefer someone more experienced than him, whatever that means for him. maybe someone with a big family! (immediate family, chosen family or relatives) or who wants a big family, aka have many kids, pets or live nearby friends, whatever seonghwa sees as family.
the hermit - probably inclined to spirituality, not so much in a religious sense, but someone who is introspective and not afraid to go deep. not afraid of seonghwa's darkness, secrets, failures and dreams. may prefer a leader type, someone that will make the first move, that he can just sit around and wait for (like a soulmate, not that he wants someone he would be lazy with). again, may prefer someone with more experience, whatever that means to him, that could guide their relationship with more ease. seonghwa may have some difficulty figuring out what he wants in life and romance. a night owl! haha not surprising as he often complains about struggling to sleep. someone he could have interesting talks at night, and could help him rest and get comfortable by telling stories and things like that, talk him down. someone a bit mysterious, that only he could figure out exactly and that could figure him out, the only person in the world he'd dare or care to be his truest self, no lies, no secrets, no fears.
the devil reversed - he may not be into parties and nightlife, as that's what this card indicates, he seem to want someone who would prefer staying home with him, having a date at their apartment than going out with a bunch of people, drinking and dancing non-stop (that's his job, he does that almost everyday already!). the person doesn't need to be against these things, just not mind missing out on them. seonghwa may find it interesting if the person leads an extra healthy lifestyle, like plant based diet, sober, athletic, things like that. this person is also very giving, doesn't need to tie anything because they are confident, like someone who doesn't feel the need to save a bunch of money and just spends it on the things that make them happy, instead of living in worry that it might one day end and the future will be fruitless.
4 of swords reversed - coming up again, doesn't want someone that lays around doing nothing all day, someone who is lazy or just boring (on his terms - may get often frustrated living with mingi, as they always say he doesn't have friends and don't even hangout with the members, he just sleeps and watch tv kkkkkkkk that's just my sister and me). seonghwa wants someone that won't get easily overwhelmed by his schedule, that won't just sit around waiting for him to come home, but do their own thing. someone that has learnt how to deal with struggles and difficulties, someone that has done shadow work, as he may think he already did that too. he likes it if the person takes good care of their home and specially room, like beautifully decorated and very comfortable, with all the things they like. someone with a lot of stories to tell, who holds much information about topics they're interested in, he may have nobody in his life who is genuinely and intensely interested in his hobbies, so it seems really important that they could share that. (sorry seonghwa but I find star wars, football and animal crossing crazy boring, my bad bro)
wheel of fortune reversed - creates their own destiny, he may think it's interesting if the person doesn't follow a typical plan of actions, doesn't follow the status quo. may also like someone who is interested in history, fiction and/or things like that. wants someone who is not independently balanced and needs him for a few things, this person may have daily struggles in the way they function, it may not run smoothly. he may also like it if he can do one grand act of chivalry to "save them", but I'm not sure what it could be, maybe pay them a house, idk..
appearance
the emperor reversed - I could only think of darth vader, emperor of the dark side WHY??? (I never finished star wars). seonghwa seems to prefer a more masculine appearance, with broad shoulders and prominent facial features. the person may look a bit intimidating at first look, may have an intense eye and/or stare, that would leave him not knowing what to do. the person may look bored or tired at first, might be someone who's face doesn't show their real emotions, hard to read. he seems to like a bit flashy style, in a domineering way, leather jackets and heavy accessories. this is still someone that fits the korean standard in a way, but not the typical partner he's expected to go for. this may be someone with very recognizable face, who looks feisty.
page of wands reversed - red, black and silver come up oftenly. looks younger than they are, a sexier look (to korea standards). red lip may be something he really likes. may have long legs and a big, well cared for, hair; he seems to like headpieces like hats and tiaras too. him and taylor swift have similar types, honestly, same venus, moon and mars signs, they look for similar things in a lover, "you look like bad news, I gotta have you" that type of thing
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examples that fit my interpretation
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none of the pictures are mine, all from pinterest
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danamuseum · 1 year ago
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Reflection and awareness -
Planning a co-creating program with the museum during crisis times
Dana Golan Miller, 10th December, 2023
This semester has been a profound journey for me, marked by contemplation of my purpose here in the USA.  I grappled with the concept of my identity as an Israeli, living here with my family in an immigrant community. When faced with the task of selecting a community to engage with and define, I initially considered the middle school students - those whom I asked to facilitate a museum visit.  The teacher at Alice Deal Middle School, a public school in DC, proved to be incredibly supportive, aiding me in my efforts to comprehend the details of their lives. Despite having a son of my own in the same age group, making the connection easier, my language limitations occasionally hindered my full understanding of their conversations. This led me to realize that designating them as a "community" at that point would be to challenge.
Upon returning home to Rockville daily to be with my family, I contemplated the reasons for choosing to reside here, realizing that the presence of the Israeli community was a significant factor. It seemed only fitting to consider them as my chosen community. As I delved into understanding who they are, I gained invaluable insights. The interviews I conducted with community members and representatives from Jewish organizations provided me with an understanding of the unique experience of being together as a temporary immigrants. This exploration brought about a positive shift in my emotions, instilling a sense of belonging within me. Writing about this community not only deepened my understanding of their identity but also contributed to a clearer sense of my own purpose here. Convinced that facilitating a museum visit for them and devising a program would be a straightforward task, I embarked on this challenge with confidence.
Then came the 7th of October and everything collapsed around me.  The first week was a shock. The violence, the killings, and the murders left us in disbelief. How could I address issues of social justice and empathy, principles central to the MET program at GW, in the face of such atrocities? I found myself in a state of confusion, shock, and fear for the future. I reached out to my family and friends in Israel. Each passing day seemed to intensify the despair, and I reached a point where writing about co-creating felt impossible. The articles I had studied in the Toolkit now seemed distant from the grim reality depicted in the media. It became painfully evident that Israel was in the midst of its worst war. The escalating anti-Semitism events added another layer of insecurity, to the extent that even speaking Hebrew in public places began to feel precarious.
Simultaneously, I observed my surroundings and grasped the scale of what had seen within the community – it was monumental. The various organizations I had familiarized myself with all shared a common goal, dedicated to supporting Israel in multifaceted ways. Witnessing this unity impressed me, and I found that I'm glad to have chosen this community during a crisis. However, a sense of insecurity crept in, particularly when confronted with Palestinian protests around the University and at train stations. Nonetheless, I began to comprehend the significance of co-creating in the ongoing war, recognizing that its resolution might unfortunately be a prolonged process.
The families around me transitioned from a state of shock and sadness to an active search for everyday life, seeking enjoyment in the offerings of the area. They desire to relish moments, to escape from the relentless news cycle, and simply breathe and laugh. I chose to select the Planet Word Museum as it presents a wonderful opportunity to reflect on our identity as Israelis and Jews living in the U.S. The inclusion of Hebrew at the museum provides a unique perspective on the significance of the language. Also, the museum offers an interactive and enjoyable experience suitable for families of all ages, allowing for laughter and fun with thoughtful exploration.
Later on, everything came together: the empathetic museum, the accessibility relevance, the case studies about museums and families, the analytic tools, and I realized that I really found the right museum to co-create with the Israeli families' immigrants living in Rockville during this crisis time. The Planet Word Museum has it all. The analytic tool, the SWOT, and Logic helped me to understand in detail how to plan according to the specific characteristics of the museum and the community. As for accessibility, the museum has everything. And also, it's close by!
On my last visit to the museum with my family, and another family from the community, after visiting the third floor, my older told me that he didn’t know English languages derived from so many other languages, even Arabic. As Israelis, we're familiar with many words in Arabic, we even adopted some. And I was thinking, it's not only about encountering the Hebrew language with confidence, it's also the awareness that eventually we're all the same.  As humans, we inhabit the same world, sharing a collective existence. Despite our diverse beliefs and values, we are all inhabitants of the same world. While it may sound somewhat idealistic, this notion lies at the core of the museum's mission. In its own way, even if just for an hour-visit, the museum served as a representation of our chosen community. This exemplifies the transformative power of museums.
I am grateful to be here, engaged in studying and continually expanding my knowledge on this subject. My experiences have equipped me with a deeper understanding of how to better co-create n with museums, fostering a more empathetic perspective when defining communities. I'm now more aware of how to define community and write a co-creative program. Even though I didn't emphasize enough in the slide presentation about the museum visit itself, this particular co-creation effort during a crisis within our community taught me a sense of hope for a better future for both myself and my family. The existence of such places as this museum, is now more important than ever, offering a beacon of hope and significance.
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rewritingtrauma · 1 year ago
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World of Vampires
For those of us who are working on the healing of deep wounds, particularly those wounds from childhood and our formative years, we might find ourselves at times stupefied and devastated at how our seemingly solid present can be demolished utterly, and in a moment, by something minor, even something we wanted. For me, this week, that happened not because I was exposed to something bad but to someone genuinely good and nice. Unfortunatley for them, and for me, they are someone from the past whom my unconscious and nervous system connect with a world of trauma: A time in my life when I was utterly trapped, powerless, abused, neglected and rejected on multiple fronts - by my parents, my peers, and by the other would-be caregivers in my life (teachers, health professionals, neighbours, other family members).
Last night, the night after this person left our house, I had this dream that I was trapped in a world of vampires. The panic, the overwhelm, the desperation, and the fear were so real. It wasn't a dream, though it was a dream scenario, it was a lived memory (albeit with vampires). I woke this morning in a pool of sweat, fighting my way out of the bed but with this phrase in my head "When you are groomed for death, you live in a world of vampires".
When you grow up in trauma (and in our world today, that's most of us) we are primed to see danger everywhere. We are triggered by social media posts, the tone of someones voice, a poorly judged message from a friend, the sound of the kettle, the appearance of someone from the past, and all kinds of other everyday occurrences. The person who came to stay with us was not a vampire, but being from the past and specifically from what my traumatised unconscious interprets as a world of vampires, they brought with them the key to that world.
Until my current relationship my approach to dealing with this was to burn all bridges I.e. all routes and connections back to the past. A 100% scorched earth policy. I even remember once, I was walking up Grainger Street in Newcastle on my way to work when I saw someone walking towards me who I hadn't seen from school (almost 20 years previously). Before I had a moment to even think their name, my feet had turned 90 degrees and I was running to the other side of the street, narrowly avoiding an oncoming bus.
For better or worse, I am - geographically speaking - not far from my old world of vampires and my husband also came from that world - he has friends and family from it. So, unless I get super rich and can run away to another country (dream baby dream) i am stuck with this proximity to the past and to the spectre of vampires. So what can I do? How can I live (more, thrive) in the present whilst also navigating the destabilising influences of people from the past? I genuinely don't know or have an answer to this. So please, if you're reading and have some ideas - please comment below or DM me.
For now, though, I'm going to make myself a vampire invisibility cloak and plant some garlic cloves in the garden....
With love and solidarity,
Iris x
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pastorralffriedrichs · 1 year ago
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Straight from Hope Ministries Sanctuary here, blessings to you all.
Another beautiful day given to us from above.
I want to share this morning with you
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Ephesians 4:29
From the moment we are born-again, the old self-life is to be put off and should remain nailed to the Cross... and we are to 'put on the new'.
We become a new person with a new life - the in-breathed life of the risen Lord Jesus Christ.
We are declared righteous by God, made part of His new creation, become a member of Christ mystic Body, and are covered with His perfect righteousness. We have a duty to obey God's Word - so that we mature in the faith and are progressively conformed into the image and likeness of the lovely Lord Jesus.
Just as our 'old man' followed the sinful ways of the world,
so the 'new man' is to walk in the way of righteousness and live in the truth of His Word.
To help us actively put off the old man and put on the new, Paul exhorts us to live in a certain way and adopt certain godly attitudes and behaviours, while abstaining from things that are carnal and fleshly.
He exhorts us to rid ourselves of worldly vices and stop deceiving, defrauding,
or harming others.
Here In this passage of scripture Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus about what it means to live in community: “Let no evil come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up,
as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.”
As human beings we tend to emphasize and remember our problems, but as Christians we are called to speak in a way that benefits the people around us.
In our everyday lives we have opportunities to share kind words toward others such as complimenting their work or affirming their character. Whatever we can do to live in such a way that we build others up, rather than breaking them down, will allow us to fully live into God’s kingdom. This is perhaps the hardest commandment to obey, and the easiest to overlook.
Think of the thousands of words we speak every day.
We should not allow corrupt words to come out of our mouths, but we should speak only what is good and for necessary edification, that the hearers may receive grace from God through our Godly words.
“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”
Psalm 34:4
Did you wake up this morning filled with fear?
If so, we have a place to go for any and all crises..
So for followers of Christ, there is also reason to tame our own, fear-based reactions to anything that causes fear. Because fear causes restlessness, and when we are restless, we tend to panic,
fixated on the worst-case-scenarios and act chiefly out of self-preservation. In other words, fear cripples us.
As we read in this psalm David felt that way too.
But, David declared that His God delivered him from all his fears.
David feared the worst.
God delivered him in the midst of his fears.
The enemy tries to use fear to have power over our lives.
But I make a declaration to refuse having fear in the name of Jesus and I just want to remind you that our God's power is greater than our fears and remember as
2 Timothy 1:7 states "for God has not given us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and a sound mind."
Many times you may feel like you are on the rope in the midst of some gigantic tug-of-war. Just the pressure alone, the worry of what might happen is enough to cripple you spiritually.
During such times we should follow the example of David.
God’s deliverance was experienced in David’s life as he sought the Lord. “Sought the Lord“…such a broad word, one that involves pursuit.
It is a longing for God that finds expression in seeking, asking and worshipping. God is the desire of our heart.
In that place David experienced divine deliverance from all his fears.
The same possibility holds true for each of us.
In His presence is peace, joy, safety, security, comfort and life.
What fear could possibly survive before the presence of the God who is all love, all power?
Stop trying to stand up to your fears.
Instead, like David, start running to God. Turn on the light of faith and the darkness of fear will dissipate. Decide to seek God today with all your heart. Let faith rise in your soul. Climb above the fear and soar to new levels of trusting God knowing when you do He will deliver you from all our fears.
May God always bless you and may you all go through life with Jesus Christ in your life
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mana-jjk · 9 months ago
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jjk would work so well as a slice of life instead of fearing for their lives everyday, this is the one series i always beg for filler ;;
help !! not his brain fjfjdj no but he’s definitely an interesting character. his hatred for non-sorcerers in canon has kind of transitioned to people with passive attitudes. the way he’ll mark down papers for just not sounding critical or passionate enough definitely goes on rate your professor lmao.
gojo is so unserious and sometimes that makes getou want to strangle him, but it also breaks him out of spirals so !! the gays are working as intended
god the passive aggressiveness and tension in the reunion is enough for shoko to consider just giving up on the male species entirely. also getou has a firm belief against posting his kids on any kind of social media, so there was a moment of “YOURE A FATHER?” the dumbassery of men is profound
omg yes, these girls might have done some bad things, but that’s because they were never allowed to be kids. i just think they both deserve to have happy school memories, friends, and each other ;; they finally get to see each other grow up !!
toge and yuuta are just good, they’re my emotional support and deserve everything in this world
and of course !! i love nobamaki!!
• nobara notices maki first, after spending days agonizing over new designs she was in a really grumpy mood but yuuji forced her to come with him to the sparring event at the new club megumi’s cousin forced him to join - he’s carrying signs and everything, she’s so embarrassed to be near him
• she complains the entire time, especially during the male portion. it’s hot, stinky, and humid, it smells like man, she wants to leave, and megumi only had a 10 minute portion before he got beat by one of the more experienced club members
• she immediately stops talking as soon as the second portion begins and the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen is stepping into position, pulling her headgear into place. the black and white hakama looks striking against her, the wooden naginata sword in her hands accentuating the corded muscles in her arms.
• it’s the longest she’s ever gone without talking, eyes shiny and enraptured, shoving yuuji away violently when he starts poking her in concern.
• she forces megumi to introduce them, practically vibrating in place while also trying to look cool. the hardest thing she’s ever done in her life was not immediately melting into a blushing mess at the way maki pulled her headgear off, wiped the sweat from her face, and quirked an eyebrow at her
• for maki’s part, she didn’t really register nobara at first, she’s used to maintaining a very disciplined focus, and while the other girl was cute, she didn’t have time to pay attention to anything outside of that focus. panda has always told her it’s not a very welcoming mindset to have, but how can she possibly focus on anything but proving herself?
• megumi is an unwilling, unamused wing-man for nobara. he and maki, as the family disappointments, are used to keep up with each other, so he has a vague idea of her schedule. which nobara exploits, obviously.
• maki gets used to having these kind of clingy freshman around, their bickering becomes background noise to the club practices megumi isn’t even involved in. she doesn’t like to admit it, but it feels nice to have someone so unashamedly impressed by the work she puts in. it’s nice having the headgear to hide the sharp grin she gets when she hears nobara crying out encouragement in the otherwise quiet gym.
• maki really starts to acknowledge her as a friend by that point, but it’s the first time she sees her sketchbook that she’s the one who’s impressed. she’s not particularly into fashion, design, or even drawing, but when you open nobara’s notebook, the first thing you know is how extreme she is.
• while some might assume a book full of vague figures and ruffly clothes, they never seem to expect the extent. Specific fabrics, stitches, dynamic poses, equipment, inspiration, swatches, and even unconventional materials are not only drawn, but stitched together into her journal. chain mail samples, paint colors mixed together in raised textures, and even brand designs are thrown in every free space. it’s like looking into the mind of a mad woman, except she knows exactly what she wants.
• one of the pages includes an onna-musha design with a model that looks suspiciously like maki. it makes her smirk a little and she teasingly compliments her taste.
• her cheeks turn pink but nobara doesn’t fiddle her thumbs or look away shyly, her chest puffs in pride, an almost manic look in her eye as she pleads for her to model her designs. it’s the in the way nobara’s eyes sharpen in focus as she carefully helps her dress, the pride and passion that practically drips off of her once she sees the complete image. it’s that fire, in that moment, that seeps through her perfectly composed form, where maki finally sees her
• it’s in the way, that even sensing the atmosphere shift, nobara bares her teeth in a grin and meets her head on in every way. never asking her to hold back, never afraid of the fire and anger that constantly turmoils, never trying to do anything but embrace the flames in their entirety. she’s simultaneously beautiful and ugly in all the same and different ways, unafraid of blood and sweat and grit, yet oh so practiced in perfumes and glossy lips and fluttering eyelashes. unafraid to show maki her passion, and never ceasing to demand the same in return. that’s when she realizes it, oh so slow to the uptake that nobara knew from first sight.
• it doesn’t take them very long after that, first kiss in the middle of nobara’s makeshift workshop and their first date under the moonlight of a 24/7 ramen place.
• nobara dresses like every day is a fashion week, her perfect makeup, stylish taste, and even higher expectations. yet she sits in the stool of warm light with chipped nails and a snorting laugh, looking at maki like she’s anything she’s ever wanted.
• it’s easy, easier than anything she’s ever done before, and for once she lets herself relax, head propped on her hand and quirking an eyebrow and not even pretending it doesn’t send a wave of satisfaction to be there, with her.
this took so long omg but um gorls <3 they’re dating and girlfriends and nobara steals maki’s jackets and leaves lipgloss stains on her face with too much satisfaction
i keep looking through the college au and coming up with more questions.
does geto teach a philosophy Gen-ed that everyone has to take?
are nanako and mimiko there? what are they up to?
I have to know more about ijichi's suffering
how close does toge get to dropping out? how often? will he ever actually do it?
do gojo and geto do that thing where they both casually mention their husband but nobody puts together that it's the other professor? (are they together in this au or is there more angst?)
i’m loving the questions !! <3 thank you for taking such an interest ! 🥺
getou’s philosophy:
• so getou has a PhD in philosophy and does research on the side of his position as a professor.
• he’s one of the few philosophy professors, so he teaches up to 4 - 5 classes a semester. this can include higher levels, major-specific, sub-categories, etc. but he always specifically requests a introduction to philosophy class, a requirement in most majors.
• it’s either that, or they take a speech class with Yuki Tsukumo and her teaching assistant, Aoi Todo. Who, yes, as an icebreaker, make you proclaim your type in men/women/other.
• yuuji took that class lol and now they’re trying to recruit him as a TA, no one could believe he would be the first to be recruited for that
• anyway, back to philosophy, getou has way too much fun being as evil and instigating as possible. you have to speak to get a grade in his class, and he will purposely misinterpret what you say.
• student: i just think in the case of the trolley problem, i wouldn’t hesitate to save more people.
• getou: oh? so you assign value to numbers? are human lives stastics to you? if they throw their money out will you also change your mind? i bet you don’t even care if there was a child on the other side huh? murderer
• you leave his class traumatized lol
nanako and mimiko:
• they are here and are still adopted by getou! they didn’t have the best home life, and moved around foster care for a lot of their lives until they accidentally bumped into getou while they were running away.
• he helped them call their social work and were moved into a better situation, though they begged him to stay in contact.
• a complicated and usual amount of time later, enough for adoption process in japan, he has officially adopted them.
• in present day, nanako and mimiko insisted on transferring colleges to the one getou got a job at so they could stay together.
• mimiko is currently a fashion design major and nanako is her biggest inspiration. she exclusively makes clothes for her or inspired by her and because of that she’s struggling a bit in college, despite being the top of her class.
• nanako is a digital marketing and social media major and part-time model who loves showing off mimiko’s designs. she also likes to bicker with nobara by saying her sister is on a whole different level than her. mimiko doesn’t care but likes the support her sister gives her lol
• mimiko will eventually change her major to graphic design, to someday design toys for children. she likes making clothes because it makes nanako smile, but she loves making toys that she and nanako used to cherish while hiding in the closet from their bad foster parents.
• like i said, nanako likes fighting with nobara, but actually has a lot of fun around her. she also loves panda and thinks he’s so fun and would be a great model. they always get chaotic around each other and turn into instigators.
• mimiko ended up finding an unexpected friendship in toge, he was quiet and she couldn’t understand sign but he always carried a little notebook that he would write notes in for her. they would watch nobara and nanako bicker, and toge would make her laugh by making doodles of them in the pages, and then clap when she drew a better quality version in turn. the way he ruffles her hair reminds her a bit of an older brother. (this is my agenda and i’m dying with it)!!
save ijichi:
• poor ijichi is an education major trying to get his master’s degree. being a teaching assistant was one of the requirements for him to graduate, and being gojo’s teaching assistant is the only position available.
• gojo did not want a teaching assistant, he likes to talk like a squirrel, go on tangents, and essentially not follow a schedule or explain to anyone. having a teaching assistant contradicts that so.
• lol
• gojo enjoys going on a tangent, losing everyone and then pointing at ijichi to answer a trick question.
• he also enjoys playing pranks on him, think of jim from the office. but his pranks are so nonsensical and childish that it gives everyone whiplash. once gojo accused him of passing notes and made him read a note out loud that gojo wrote, it only had a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses on it.
• the students feel so bad for him, when yuuta took the class, he always stayed after just to bow as deep as he could to apologize for his cousin’s behavior.
• every day ijichi tells himself he’s going to get a backbone, then gojo starts laughing and a cold chill runs up his spine
• gojo also leaves all the grading to ijichi but routinely complains about how lenient he is as a grader
• this man is fighting for his life
• in truth, gojo plans to give him a glowing recommendation that’ll guarantee him a high-paying, prestigious job, but he can’t let ijichi think he’s too nice, right?
toge drops out:
• so i think that toge would end up dropping out at the end of his second year in college. he’s just started his major courses, so the majority of his credits are transferable should he choose to come back.
• but it’s after yuuta comes back, and toge expects his mental state to get better. in some ways it does, he’s happy when he’s with them, but when it’s time to go to class he’s right back where he started.
• it’s probably kusakabe, one of his professors, that puts the idea of dropping out in his head. just a passing reference to how the professor dropped out several times before finding what he wanted to do.
• and the idea stayed like an infection, it was all toge could think about when he was finishing up his semester. even worse when their past upperclassmen, who did drop out to open their own bar, came for a visit.
• hakari was so open to questions about it, and kiara looked so happy talking about their business. and all he could remember was how bored and unhappy they were, and how they were thriving.
• and then gojo suggests it.
• “i never really cared about your grades,” he said, “you looked lonely, but you aren’t anymore. but somehow, you’re just as unhappy as the day i found you. all i want for you is to be happy, and i don’t think you’re finding it here.”
• the man was always so uncanny in how he could read anyone’s mind. this time in particular, he offered a solution that toge had never thought about.
• “have you ever thought of culinary school?”
• ‘my parents would never - they’re already threatening to disown me -’
• “let them, i always figured you’d take his last name anyway,” toge chose to ignore that, “but you aren’t alone anymore. so why don’t you try being happy?”
• when toge told yuuta, similar to only a year ago when they were in opposite positions, yuuta asked him softly, “what do you want to do?”
• the answer came easier than he thought
• by the start of the next semester, gojo had helped him enroll in a culinary school nearby.
gojo and getou:
• so these men are the most annoying people to exist at this university, and the board regrets hiring both of them everyday.
• both of them are alumni of the college, and this matters because they had been dating when they were students, but broke up very dramatically just before gojo graduated early.
• they went their separate ways for almost a decade and only really started talking again when getou got hired at the university.
• they only started talking again when shoko forced them to meet her, she wanted her friends back.
• she regretted it only a few months later when they started dating again lol
• so they’re still dating, but everyone thinks that getou is dating manami suda because they were often together.
• but no one mistakes gojo trying to flirt with getou so he has a reputation as a homewrecker. even worse is that getou flirts back so everyone thinks they’re terrible people
• and they think it’s so funny so they only enable people into thinking so, yuuta couldn’t look gojo in the face for a month
• only nanako and mimiko know what’s actually happening and they’re both disgusted and not ready to have gojo as their step-father. megumi knows too but he’s suffering so much that everyone just leaves him alone
• yuuji is so distraught that his gojo-sensei is a horrible person, he and nobara do a confrontation and find out that they were dating the entire time.
• everyone suffers after that because now they find amusement in PDA
• but yes after everything, they do a different storyline every new class like theater kids do
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tinselxoxo26 · 2 years ago
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𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓸𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝐼𝑉
𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕀𝕀𝕀
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[Note: this is for tropical astrology]
❈ Libra moon 🤝 relationship advice consultant, nahh fr they always ended up being a mediator in relationship problems like friendships or love at least once in their life. (I feel like this is a universal experience to all libra moons)
❈ Aries venus have a fear of commitment including friendships, even with an earth sun like a Taurus sun.
❈ Water sign in the 4th house cusp could indicate water themes with your childhood home or childhood in general. For example: you might've took swimming classes in your childhood, lived near a beach/lake/pond/pool, your relatives/siblings/yourself have an incident with things related to water etc.
❈ Mars square IC, I hope y'all are doing okay ❤️ We know that the IC represents childhood & square is not the best aspect to have. When it comes to Mars (aggressive planet) squaring the IC, this could indicate that in your childhood there could be incidents with physical aggressive behaviour with your family like fighting/arguing with your siblings. To the point where you might get scars/bruises from your family members.
❈ Mercury 10H, I'll tell you a little secret, they're everywhere (Snapchat, instagram, tiktok etc.) If you don't see them posting, chances are you're not in their close friend stories on insta. I swear they post everyday with multiple stories throughout the day even during exam seasons 💀. I ain't never seen them not posting. If you see their profile being organised & aesthetic, that's just an illusion hun. They probably have internal chaos on the inside. Their fashion choice *chef's kiss*, model material.
❈ 11H stelliums and their connections with ppl are no joke. They know ppl who are models, doctors, dentists to anyone who's well off. They might have free premium/membership cards or gifts received from those ppl.
❈ Something that I've noticed is that for those sagittarius placements whose grades aren't the best in their early years usually do well than their peers in highschool/University. Sagittarius is involved with higher education so that explains why.
❈ The planets/planet that has the 8H represents what physical problems you have with your body. For example sun 8H: scoliosis, mercury 8H: skin/indigestion problems, venus 8H: kidney problems.
❈ I've read that aquarius/11H placements especially stelliums can attract/attracted to ppl who might be well known in the future. This might be a theory but they might tend to attract 8H/scorpio placements or 2H/taurus placements (maybe even 10H/capricorn placements) cuz those signs deals with money & potential fame.
❈ Leo 4H cusp means that in their childhood they might be spoiled by their parents/caretaker, they might buy "royalty" things like fancy gifts/toys/clothing cuz leo is royalty. Their parents might've took a lot of pictures of them and they might act spoiled too as a child.
❈ Pisces/12H placements please stay away from alcohol, vapes, drugs, cigarettes especially pisces/12H stelliums. This might come naturally to you when you try it and you might get addicted to it.
❈ Cancer placements in personal planets 🤝 angry crier. It's a thing.
❈ Sagittarius placements/Jupiter dom might like the colour green. (idk maybe it's cuz the colour green is associated with luck???)
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Masterlist
Welp, this is going to be my final post to announce that I'm going on a small hiatus cuz I'm currently busy with schoolwork. I will come back eventually so dw. My astro asks are still open, I'll just be answering them after my hiatus is over. Goodbye for now 💓💞✨
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bratz-kitten · 3 years ago
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Hello there love, a fellow 11th house mercury here! just saw a post where you talked a little about that placement and it was the most accurate thing I’ve ever read hahaha so my question is if you could elaborate a little bc i find it a little hard to understand that placement. my mercury is sadly also in retrograde in my chart so that doesn’t make things easier…
thank you so much!! much love xxx
okay so, for reference, i touched a bit on mercury in the 11th house here and here (which was mostly about mercury in the 12th house anyway), but the biggest point i made there was that this mercury makes you someone who needs constant intellectual stimulation, we have very restless thoughts and it can be maddening sometimes because our brains just don't shut up... ever. which is why we need to be engaging in conversation so much or at least letting our thoughts out some other way, in a blog, for example (take it from me lmfao). it's interesting that the 11th house rules technology as well as social circles, because it sure feels like we have a non-stop podcast in our minds. like, the only time where i feel like my brain is experiencing a moment of peace is afterward a really intense conversation, when i get to debate my ideas with someone who's just as passionate (and slightly insane) as me.
that being said, we prefer to keep conversation light-hearted and fun. this house for mercury shows an ease when it comes to talking with whoever, so you might have a lot of acquaintances. you might even feel like wherever you go, everyone knows your name and it can be a very unsettling feeling at times. as in, you get introduced to a group of people you've never met before but somehow they all know who you are, so you might experience people gossiping a lot about you, making up rumors that get widely spread; people make all kinds of assumptions about you. that's because even though you know a lot of people, you keep the conversation purposely superficial and only open up to like three people, if that much.
now, keep in mind that this is a double-edged sword: not only do people gossip a lot about people, but you tend to gossip as well. even if you tell yourself it's light-hearted and you only do it with your closest friends, it can be too much at times, and it's very easy to cross the line of "i'm just curious" to being downright shitty, and you need to watch out for what comes out of your mouth because you do stress a lot about having good morals.
you possess a lot of social intelligence and you might be very aware of that, using it in everyday matters – when you enter a group, you start observing the dynamics that play between everyone: who talks the most with who, who feels the most or less comfortable with who, who's still only acquaintances and who's falling in love but doesn't know it yet; you observe all of that and start taking mental notes about people's behaviors: the way they talk, their humor (especially if they laugh at the expense of others or not), if they overshare, what they leave unsaid; you take in all of that and that's your way of getting to know people so that you can start predicting their behavior. like i said, you find it very hard to trust others enough to open up so you make others prove themselves before you do so. in friendships, this is less biting, as in you don't just walk up to someone and go like hey prove me of your worth lmfao, you simply start observing their actions and if they pass the vibe check, they're in.
the problem starts in your romantic relationships – this is where you make someone prove themselves again and again that they're deserving of your trust and loyalty as you continuously doubt them. and suddenly, this isn't the dating stage; it's like your potential partner is harry potter going through the triwizard tournament just to get the prize of 10% of your trust. and it's, like, no. stop it. you can't expect people to drop everything to offer you the world while you're hesitant about even holding their hand in public. that's self-sabotaging and it's just a way for you to ensure that you don't get too intimate with people, that you don't reveal too much of yourself. relationships are about the equality between giving and taking, and you can sometimes be caught up in wanting to receive before even considering giving.
the best way i can put this is through an example: kim kardashian has her mercury in the 11th house. so, it's no wonder that this mercury makes someone really fucking ambitious, sometimes even without you realizing. the 11th house rules dreams and humanity as a whole, so you might be constantly in tune with your dreams and finding a way to get yourself further to them. like i said, this can be unconscious at times; perhaps you take on a small project that's meant to be fun and insignificant but suddenly it blows up out of proportion, suddenly your whole life revolves around it and you're getting recognized for it. you can be very calculating and borderline manipulative at times since you're so focused on trying to control the circumstances around you. not even just in real life, perhaps when you're playing video games you find yourself focusing a lot of your attention on understanding the characters and their motivations; and then, when you meet someone who feels shady as fuck and who looks like they could betray you, your thinking process isn't how can i stop this person from betraying me, it's how can i use this person's betrayal to my advantage. it's like, jesus christ on steroids lmfao. you have a talent for turning difficult situations into the diamond in the rough, for thriving when facing obstacles.
you're very cynical about your friendships, you understand that most people don't have good intentions and you're likely to make a clear distinction between party friends and actual friends. the first group are the people who you have casual fun with, who you do stupid shit with and who perhaps you engage with to keep up appearances or further your connections, while the second group are the actual people who you'd ride or die for, and those are scarce.
here, there's a yearning for actual friendships present even through your fear of doing so, and you might find yourself getting occupied with issues of the 11th house: philosophy, metaphysics, individuality vs. humanity as a whole, freedom, moral issues – for you, nothing is taboo enough, just like nothing is progressive or out-of-the-box enough. my advice for people with this placement is to read the greeks. seriously, hearing plato spend a whole book discussing what is morality is like our wet dream. you love debating especially with your friends, and if you can't talk with someone for hours and hours on end with the conversation never once stalling, then they're not fit to be your friends at all. besides this, you might be very drawn to politics, power, any knowledge that helps you achieve your dreams.
you have big dreams and you might feel a strong calling to help as many people as possible, to save the world, to have your voice be heard. your goals might be downright inconceivable to some people, so you can feel ostracized by the members of the community where you live: perhaps your parents and other family members don't believe in you and would rather you just stick to the plan they forged for you; perhaps you were forced into choosing between their path or yours; no matter what, the choice lies in your hands and so does the power to achieve whatever you desire.
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female-buckets · 3 years ago
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The arrest of two-time US Olympic basketball gold medalist Brittney Griner has left supporters anxious about her well-being and fearful that she might become a political pawn.
Russian authorities said Griner had cannabis oil in her luggage and accused her of smuggling significant amounts of a narcotic substance -- an offense punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
It's still not clear exactly when Griner was arrested last month, or where she's being detained now.
But escalating tensions between the US and Russia over Russia's invasion of Ukraine has stoked concerns that getting Griner out of Russia will be "very difficult."
'She's been there for quite some time'
Adaora Elonu, a former WBNA player who has also played in Russia, said she was "extremely worried" about Griner.
The state-owned Russia 24 channel said this photo of Brittney Griner was taken at a police station.
"Right now, I'm just very, very concerned -- also knowing that she's been there for quite some time," Elonu told CNN on Tuesday.
She described feeling detached from much of the world while living in Russia. "Being in Russia, I was kind of in a bubble," Elonu said.
"I didn't feel unsafe. I felt as if there was not much happening in that country. I know there was a lot going on outside of the country. But as far as when I was in Russia, we weren't getting much news about what was happening. Aside from my family and friends and my agent, they were letting me know about what was happening. But it was hard to balance what was actually happening and what I felt," she said.
"But once things started escalating, my agent was definitely pushing for me to get out. And I'm glad I listened to his advice and got out."
'There are no words to express this pain'
Griner's whereabouts aren't publicly known. CNN has reached out to the Russian Foreign Ministry for comment but has not heard back.
A member of Russia's Federal Customs Service described the charge against Griner to Russia 24, the country's main state-owned news channel.
"A criminal case has been opened against an American citizen under section 2 of 229 YK RF (Russian law) for smuggling of a significant amount of drugs," Irina Begisheva of the Main Directorate for the Fight Against Smuggling of the Federal Customs Service told Russia 24.
In an Instagram post, Griner's wife described the agony of waiting.
"People say 'stay busy.' Yet, there's not a task in this world that could keep any of us from worrying about you. My heart, our hearts, are all skipping beats everyday that goes by." Cherelle Griner posted Monday.
"There are no words to express this pain. I'm hurting, we're hurting."
Over the weekend, she thanked supporters and asked for privacy "as we continue to work on getting my wife home safely."
But a member of the US House Armed Services Committee said "it's going to be very difficult" to get Griner out of Russia.
"Our diplomatic relationships with Russia are nonexistent at the moment," Democratic Rep. John Garamendi of California told CNN on Monday.
"Perhaps during the various negotiations that may take place, she might be able to be one of the solutions. I don't know."
He also noted that "Russia has some very, very strict LGBT rules and laws" -- though it's not clear whether those rules and laws might impact Griner's case.
Griner's high school basketball coach, Debbie Jackson, said she worries Griner's case will be used for political purposes.
"My biggest fear is that ... she will become a political pawn," Jackson told CNN.
But the Biden administration is working on trying to get Griner out of Russia, members of the Congressional Black Caucus said after meeting with President Joe Biden on Monday.
"The best news we got today was that they know about it and that she's on the agenda," Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, who represents Griner's hometown of Houston, told reporters.
Noting a potential 10-year sentence for Griner, Jackson Lee added: "We know about Brittney Griner, and we know that we have to move on her situation."
A storied career
Griner has spent her entire WNBA career with the Phoenix Mercury and won the league's championship in 2014. The WNBA has confirmed that all other league players have departed Russia and Ukraine.
Like many other WNBA players, Griner plays overseas in the offseason where salaries can be much higher than what female professional basketball players are paid in the US.
She won the EuroLeague Women championship last year with Russian club UMMC Ekaterinburg, where she has played since 2015 during her offseasons.
Fans around the world have called for Griner's release, with more than 34,000 people signing the "Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U.S." petition on Change.org as of Tuesday.
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caker-baker · 4 years ago
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If There Was A Crown
It wasn’t everyday one was summoned to the royal court, and definitely not everyday a baker was summoned.
If the baker happened to be in their hero form, they might have understood, but as a regular kingdom citizen, they didn’t understand.
They had dealt with the royals, sure, but not like this, not when they were still halfway covered in flour.
Had they done something wrong? Was their bakery being repossessed? Or worse, demolished?
The hero didn’t like the stares of the people as they approached the dais, a million and one thoughts were racing through their head already, they didn’t need anyone else’s.
Upon the dais was the prince’s throne, and upon that was the prince, who sat almost amused.
“Baker.” He addressed.
The hero kneeled before they spoke. “Your royal highness.”
This seemed to further amuse the prince, who leaned forward in anticipation.
“Do you know why you have been brought here?”
“No, your highness.”
The prince’s eyes shone in amazement, a wide cat like smile forming. “You have been accused as terrorizing the kingdom under the pseudonym ‘Villain’,” before the hero could open their mouth, the prince held up his hand. “These acts include but are not limited to: larceny, arson, and murder. How do you plead?”
The court burst into chatter, louder and louder.
“I-I-” the hero couldn’t breath, their still kneeling self wobbling. “No! Not guilty, your highness.”
The prince almost rolled his eyes, but didn’t, instead choosing to motion to the guards to come forward.
“On what grounds, baker?”
Cold manacles were placed on the hero before they could blink, the whispers of the court members becoming more suffocating by the second.
“On the-” their mouth went dry.
How could they explain this?
They disappeared at odd times, generally the same time as the true villain, so that was incriminating enough; but they couldn’t outright say they were Hero. What if the real villain was here? Then they would know everything.
“The grounds that-”
“Yes, baker?” With another motion from the prince, the hero was hoisted upwards aprubtly, cold manacles on their wrists, and even colder hands on their arms.
The prince hadn’t even bothered to give the hero a chance to explain, he was having fun with this.
The reality of the situation slowly closed in on the hero, who suddenly found their tongue.
“My lord, please, you have to believe me, you can ask any of my loyal customers, any of the neighboring shops, I wouldn’t harm a fly.”
The prince pretended to consider this with his chin rested in his hand.
“And until speaking to them is possible, you will be held prisoner as Villain. That is all.”
So nonchalant, so nonchalantly the prince waved his hand as a dismissal, it made the hero want to scream. But they couldn’t do that, their hands were tied.
Well, chained.
And chained didnt change much, it was over, the hero had already thought this out.
Once they arrived at whatever cell or dungeon the apparently cruel prince had ready for the villain, the hero would begin to find an escape. After that, they couldn’t go back to their bakery, they couldn’t go back to anything, they would have to live as Hero forever.
Something hit their heart, the thought of never going back to the bakery. It felt heavy.
The hero didn’t notice the creaking door being unlocked, nor the wall which they were chained to, their bakery occupied their mind.
Even if they were proven innocent, which, judging by how the prince acted, they wouldn’t be, who would go to an accused villain’s bakery? How would the hero make a living now?
Or will this lead to the chopping block?
The hero shivered and blinked a few times to properly examine their predicament. It was a cell, there was no question about that, but it looked personalized. A bed in the corner, a stack of books beneath it, and a small desk with a chair.
A cell, but a used one, probably from a prisoner with good behavior.
The hero walked to the bars of the cell, at least a foot away from the bars, as the chains didn’t allow any further.
Chains in a cell?
That was strange, but if the prince believed them the villain, it would be reasonable enough.
If the prince deems me a villain, why this cell?
Something was wrong here.
“Everything to your liking, baker?” A voice sneered.
The hero’s eyes lit up, that voice was the prince, the prince was here. Maybe they could prove their innocence.
“Your highness, please, please, I am innocent, whoever accused me is wrong, I-”
“I accused you.” The prince interrupted, so sharp and firm the hero almost though they imagined it.
At the hero’s shocked face, the prince laughed.
“I do enjoy seeing you helpless.” He took off his crown, examining it in his hands. “It’s fitting for a pesky hero.”
Again, the hero felt their body begin to shake, perhaps out of anger.
“What?”
Cold and victorious eyes glanced up from investigating the crown. “You heard me, Hero. Or should I say it differently?” The prince cleared his throat. “I do love watching pesky heroes squirm.”
The hero felt themselves fall, the chains making a clattering sound that rang in their ears, similar to how those words someone else had spoken a week prior rang.
“You,” they began, now eternally grateful for the bars. “Are villain. You’re villain.”
The prince bowed, never taking his eyes off the hero. “In the flesh. And crown.” He smirked at that.
“But-” the hero felt at a loss for everything. At least now the accusation somewhat made sense. “But why? Your kingdom, why terrorize it?”
“You know nothing, pesky little hero.”
The hero heard the creaking door, and suddenly realized bars didn’t do much when the heir to the throne was involved.
Still, through the fear and confusion, the hero found their legs and stood, looking the prince in his eyes. It was bravery, and they would die by that.
Or maybe it was stupidity, the odds were against them.
“The only time I have seen you this close,” the prince began, “is when I managed the upper hand against that wall.”
His steps were slow, his hands even slower. Fingers delicately lifted the hero’s chin, who still looked straight on.
“Do you remember that?” He asked in a whisper, using his thumb to trace over the hero’s bottom lip.
The hero wanted to back away, but the prince had somehow already walked them into a wall. This, to the hero, was exactly like the time the villain managed the upper hand.
“That was nothing like this.” The prince concluded, finally stepping away after disagreeing with the hero’s internal monologue.
As if looking at his handiwork, the prince let his eyes trail up and down the hero.
“Tell me, how does a baker who shakes when they’re scared turn into a skilled acrobatic hero?”
“I don’t owe you anything.” The hero insisted, having pretended their mask was on. “But you owe us, you owe your kingdom’s citizens everything you ever took, including their lives!”
The prince made a tsking sound. “Pesky little heroes thinking they know everything. I have bigger plans for this place, worth much more than a few measly lives.”
“They’re your people!”
He sighed. “Yes, they are, and they will thank me in the future. Well, not the villain, the prince. They will thank the villain in secret.”
The hero saw the crown behind the prince’s back shine. Why was he hiding it?
“What happens when when the villain makes another appearance? Everyone will know it isn’t me, I’m here.”
“I would actually enjoy your input.” The prince said, that same amused shine in his eye. “See, I say you escaped and ban anyone from coming down here, barring me, of course.”
The hero’s horrified face made the prince chuckle.
“Or I have everyone forget. Some baker who disappears regularly, no real roots, no family, no friends, just customers and neighbors. No one will remember you, no one but me. Who cares if one falsely accused baker wastes away? Everyone will move on.”
“And those neighbors and customers?” The hero countered, a sliver of hope still alight in them.
“I suppose you wouldn’t know, but it is surprisingly simple to pay off someone.”
The shaking came back.
“So,” The prince started, eyes watching the small trembles from the baker. “Which will it be? Have everyone forget, or live the rest of your life as a villain?”
“No.” The hero whispered. “Why abuse your power like this?”
The prince was closer to the hero, closer than they liked.
“I suppose if there was a crown on your head, you would find a way to make everything fair, no need for violence, no need to burn something anew.”
Closer still.
“But I will let you in on a secret.”
He was on the hero now, pinning them to the wall with such force the hero felt their fighting reflexes kick in. It didn’t much good though, as the prince slammed the hero against the wall again the minute they moved.
“Until the old man keels over,” The words were whispered into the hero’s ear. “this is all the power I have. This is what I can do.”
“You can hurt people?” The hero whispered back. “Threaten them, kill them?”
The prince stared in shock. “Do you think I’m going to kill you?” He laughed. “Did you not hear any of what I said?”
One hand moved to the hero’s cheek. “No.” He muttered. “No, hero, I won’t be killing you.”
Something heavy fell onto the hero’s head.
“It suits you I think.” The prince spoke, not moving his hand from the hero’s face. “What a pretty royal you would make.”
The crown.
“Is it strange I felt gratified when you addressed me by my formal title?” The prince continued, this time cupping the hero’s other cheek, effectively caging in their face.
“I think you should say it more often. Who knows? After you end up alone, one way or another, you may work your way up the ranks, perhaps even bake for the palace. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“I could get you a better room, if you behave, there are probably a great many things I could do for you.”
This method, this taunting, infuriated the hero, who wanted more than anything to look away, but the prince didn’t seem keen on letting that happen.
“Pesky heroes don’t deserve nice things.” His voice dropped. “But I would make an exception for you.”
“I hate you.” The hero’s voice was just as low as the prince’s.
The prince’s shoulders tensed, but he just shrugged. “Part of the job.”
Finally, after what felt like eternity, the prince’s hands dropped, and the hero was free to lunge at them.
“Oh.” The prince sidestepped. “Pesky might be the wrong word. Feisty, maybe?”
“Keep the crown.” The prince said, slowly closing the creaking door.
Feeling their throat close, the hero finally managed to squeak it out. “And my bakery! What will happen to it?”
“That all depends on you, little hero.”
The prince bowed, and turned.
.
A quick note: Once upon a time I saw something that said “what if the villain was royalty”. I don’t remember where I saw it or who said it, but if you are that person, please let me know so I can credit you!!
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c-is-for-circinate · 3 years ago
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CR post-ep 3x05
I should have CR episode reactions! I love reacting to CR episodes! I'm gonna do this one!
--I am really fascinated by how fast this party is accumulating certain things that it doesn't feel like the M9 had for years of gameplay (months and many levels of in-game time). Things VM maybe had and maybe didn't, maybe found and lost and found again. Right out of the gate, one level in, they have money! They have a patron. An actual, real live wealthy and respected Member of Local Society is on their side.
And: a thousand gold sounds like an impossible amount of riches, until you realize it has to split eight ways. And this crew is still a bunch of disaster chucklefucks. And their patron is super super sketchy, but this team has a place. Since day one, they've had a place in this city and with each other. I love that as the story we're exploring here.
--Love them getting to go home and get drinks and be okay. I was so worried about the fear and grief being A Thing, with Bertrand gone, and I'm so glad to see that it turns out not to be super overblown. They are still a bunch of mostly-friends just getting to know each other in a professional capacity! They trust each other on a general everyday have-my-back-in-battle basis.
(And that's fun too, because at some point we WILL get to explore the things they may find they need to trust one another for that are not just baseline 'I trust my coworkers to be good at their job and for us all to pull together for a common cause'. At some point, feelings are going to happen. I don't think they're hiding or lying or being dishonest about any feelings things right now -- they are a bunch of grownups with a new group of coworkers, you shouldn't go telling your coworkers all about your childhood trauma on the first date -- but that's part of WHY I'm eager to see how everything unfolds once it gets to the unfolding part. We so rarely get to witness the gradual unraveling of secrets in a genial friend group that does not yet love each other as family. (The family part, of course, comes AFTER that.))
--Falling asleep right on the keyboard right now, but something something Imogen as the only character who put up an actual person as collateral feelings etc. The conflict between straightforwardness and cynicism, 'we're here to get things done and progress doesn't move forwards unless somebody admits something', vs 'the moment I admit something, somebody WILL come out of the woodwork to stab me with it." Ashton is going to be super interesting for that particular conflict, but also Imogen, and I don't have words at this hour for more than that.
--The fight was cool and gross and the infinitely-respawning tiny enemies who do damage on death were great, I need to remember that trick for my players. The entire house and circumstances were giving me major 'oh boy good thing Travis isn't here' vibes, although most of me would have loved to see Travis react to any of that shenaniganry. (Also I can't wait to see Travis anyway, whenever that might be.)
I am maybe not quite out of thoughts but I am definitely out of words goodnight <3
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meirimerens · 2 years ago
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I'm sorry if this is a weird question and its totally ok if you dont want to answer it but, if you dont mind, how did you enjoy your experience in art college? Do you have any tips or things to say to those who want to or are considering following the same path? I'm finishing high school in some months and i really dream of persuing art in the Academic's Way but everyday i fear not being able to "get a proper job" or "be a 'productive' functioning member of society" if that's what i decide to do (or even worse: Getting a job, or just getting into college, but starting to dread (making) art. I think this is what messes with me the most. I know how capitalism can make you hate your job and i dont know if i'm ready to. Idk. Go through that when it comes to art-making). I really love drawing and making art and studying and observing art and there's nothing in the world I wish to learn more about than it, but suddenly I feel so much doubt & fear & etc... again sorry if this is too personal, you definitely dont need to answer if you dont feel like it !!! hope you have a good night/morning anyway
Hello my darling i can try to answer that
long to follow:
let me start with a few things/disclaimers of sorts which weighted Quite A Lot in my ability to enjoy college and that might be wildly different where you live:
i went to an art college in France (because. i live here) and through post-highschool education without having to worry once about being in debt in my early twenties. i have no loans to pay back. i could go back to the school and get a master without needing to take one, i could decide to go to a different uni without having to worry about debt. i don't have on my back the Weight you might have, if you're American, to know you might have to reimburse thousands or tens of thousands of bucks in student loans.
another thing: i did not, and do not have still, parental pressure to Get A Job. my parents always have been insanely supportive of my desire to go to art college, and even as i now, today, am overcome with doubts and "damn i should do other studies to have a chance in the job market", they've never been like ":/ you're not gonna go very far in life with that art degree…". they want me to get a job i will Like bc they've accumulated Sucky Jobs their whole lives but they've never mocked me for my art studies path, for my desire to work in the arts/literature. they're not people who value Being A Good Capitalism Pawn And Doing A Sucky 9-5 Until You Die, which i am very thankful for, but it might not be the case for your family, your friends, your culture.
ok now that The Lore is out of the way let me keep going
our art college experiences WILL be fundamentally different unless you go to the Specific one i went in france. the functioning of that school is apparently even very different than its own neighbors within the country, so everything i say will be vastly different for you, period.
art college To Me mostly brought me four things: new ways to see, speak of, decipher, understand, and make art (so valuable); new frameworks to talk about and understand my own art and others (SO VALUABLE!); new skills (namely engraving and photography); and fantastic people to meet. if you do go to art school i Pray you meet people who are so interesting so different from you and do art in such specific ways that you will have your world rocked. to me, just these 4 things fundamentally Changed Me (for the best), and even if i get no money from it i consider that experience so anchored in me.
this is likely a Culture thing, but most of us in art school knew Damn Well we had a lot of chances to not make money with our art LOL. like the recurring joke was "étudiant en art aujourd'hui, chômeur demain" ["art student today, unemployed tomorrow"]. and it wasn't a… big deal? like it wasn't a Hustling Culture at all. number of my classmates were fucking hippies (AFFECTIONATE) LOL.
that's a lot of rambling to say that i wasn't 1) brought up in a Money-Centric family who will push me out of the house so i can go #grind and are perfectly comfortable with me taking time to build a portfolio bc covid kinda prevented me from doing that teehee 2) studying in a Money-Centric school. even if, today as i did then, i'm very much aware i might not have the Best Perspectives For A Bountiful Coin-Getting Future, i still have the ability to Go Back To School if i want without it being a sure way to get myself in thousands of bucks in debt.
our experiences Will be insanely different, so LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW TIPS THAT MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT WORK FOR YOU
connect with people. YES it's hard and harder if you're shy you're gonna have to do it.
go to any lectures or whatnot that interest you so you can 1) connect with people 2) Meet New Interesting Faces
if your school brings artists from Outside for workshops/lectures/whatnot, ask them question… look at their work… etc… some schools have Working Artists as professors so if there's one whose work you love TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT.
if something your professor says Interests you, asks them for more reading on it, more references, etc… even if you don't read em! it will 1) show them you care 2) give you more stuff to come back to if you ever DO want to read em lol.
if your school has photography/engraving/design/whatnot classes that interest you, jump on the occasion. it might Unlock something in you, and that's a skill you can market anyways.
if some students in your school decide to make a little.. school newspaper, or artists' group, or this or that, JUMP ON THE OCCASION. again, that might be a marketable skill later. you can even try to make one yourself!
in case of another covid lockdown: CHECK WHICH OF YOUR CLASSES HAVE POSSIBILITIES TO BE HAD ONLINE! a lot of art history classes can be online, but most classes where you learn a new skill With Your Hands will get fucked over if covid hit. my school relied A Lot on you Coming To It and being on your own in huge rooms and working on your own and then meet professors about it, so then covid hit, a Huge Part of the actual work you did in school got fucked over, which made my 2nd and 3rd years Not The Best. if you can, try to have a good balance of classes you can have online and classes you have in-school so you don't get Too fucked over if another plague hits.
if your school organizes like… exhibitions, or has artist calls for projects… keep an eye on em. participate if you can. i didn't participate in a lot during my own years and i'm sad about it :( don't do like me!!! actually bite life as it comes baby.
damn that's long. ok. tldr: we Will have vastly different experiences. that's unavoidable. here ^ were some tips.
from me to you + something i might abide by: if you Love art hugely, but feel like Making It for money so you can eat will make you feel like shit… well i can understand. i can empathize. at the end of my cursus, most students are kinda expected to become self-employed artists, but as you can guess… rough life. SO! if you love art but Making It For Profit fills you with dread, here are a few ideas from me:
study art history! even if you're not interested in being a professor of that (which is also A Good Thing To Be + my 1st year art history professor easily one of my favorites i've had), museums or galleries or institutions sometimes look for people who've studied that for mediation jobs (when you welcome a public and Tell Em about what they're looking at). you can study art history Broadly or focus on little things. for ex. i might decide at some point to go back to uni for a art history focus and maaaybe even prehistoric art focus.
what else. if you an artist Now try to participate in zines, or make your own even if they suck so you can put that on a resume (and again, IF you go to art school and your classmates/YOU start a little school newspaper… that shit goes in the resume!!!)
if you have any time and/or motivation, get yourself some online classes about like. adobe suite (you can pirate it honestly) or generally softwares that Art People Love. again -> marketable skill babey!!!!
i'm not sure if Any of that is valuable to you. i wish you all the best in this Bitch of a world.
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write-like-wright · 3 years ago
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u asked for requests so im here to comply😳could you maybe do a ”should you date them” with the defense attorneys in the series?? or just generally some other characters?? bc the prosecutor one added like 20 years to my lifespan lmao. hope u have a great day!!
I'm so glad you liked it!!! Here's the sequel, just for you <33
Original post here
Should you date them: Ace Attorney defense lawyers edition
Phoenix Wright
yes, you really should
probably one of the best, if not the best, boyfriends in the series
wanna get married? husband material
wanna have kids? father material
has a tendency to casually adopt children actually, could be an issue at some point
worships you
you know how some guys brag about how they'd die for you?
Nick would unironically die for you
may even come close a few times but I'm pretty sure he's canonically invincible (eating poisoned glass and falling off a burning bridge, who?? tis' but a scratch!)
massive gossip
gets home after an investigation and immediately starts like "you won't believe what I found out about Gumshoe today"
somehow surprisingly mature and good at keeping secrets in spite of everything
has a lot of really cool friends!!! and larry
have you seen those shoulders tho?? mans built like a dorito, smashing through massive wooden doors n stuff
biggest monthly expense is hair gel
claims his hair is natural but you know better
don't be the big spoon, he will poke your eyes out
can somewhat read your mind tho? a bit off-putting but ok
marry him before Edgeworth someone else does
Mia Fey
hell yeah, dude
cool, calm, collected
has literal superpowers
successful business owner at 27!!! unironical #girlboss
went from being a lame rookie to a literal legend with her own practice and an apprentice in, like, three years
she's so smart, I fear her
has the fashion sense of a female character drawn by a cis man... oh, wait
god help whoever tries to hurt you
will literally kick their ass to hell
family-oriented
believes in second chances
took phoenix under her wing after everything, mia has the patience of a saint honestly
drops cool oneliners in everyday speech like a marvel character
curve lovers rejoice
doesn't mind being called dorky nicknames
major wife material
Diego Armando/Godot
I already covered him in my prosecutors list,, literally did not occur to me to split Diego and Godot into two lists
but to sum up, if I had to choose between the two, I'd go for Diego
i like my men like i like my coffee - tall, dark and bitter
^^ eats up pickup lines like those
Apollo Justice
Polly is such a sweet babey boy, please be nice to him
short king
low on confidence, makes up for it by being loud
*voice cracking* HE'S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
your neighbours will hate him
such a pushover, will do anything you ask of him
sensitive boy, not afraid to cry
pretends not to be dorky - is very dorky
consumes nerdy media almost exclusively (canonically a Whovian! but Capcom can't say that)
bikes everywhere and is apparently good with a hula hoop
Polly got cake is what I'm saying
have you seen his cool street style clothes?? sk8er boi
very grounded, literally
might play around and hold your hand for comfort
won't come to visit you if you live on a high floor, sorry
cat dad!!! cat pics!!! yes!!!
about 7 different tragic backstories
new secret family member drops every week
stares at you when you speak sometimes
is he jealous of Klavier?? does he have a crush on him??? who knows but it's funny watching them interact
bicon
spends way too much time on his hair
someone please date him, he deserves some love
Athena Cykes
holy childhood trauma batman
been through a lot
total empath
if you're sad, she's sad
can kinda read your mind... why is this such a common thing in AA games?? I like my privacy
super energetic
will drag you to the gym, take you on hikes, practice wrestling moves on you...
you will always be sore but also in the best shape of your life
has minus 25 chill
incapable of keeping secrets from you
her weird goth convict uncle threatens you every once in a while
she promises he means it in a friendly way
loves europop
way too accomplished for her age, everyone in this game is so smart, help
i feel like she'd enjoy theme parks idk
date her, she's baby and she needs some TLC
Kristoph Gavin
no
he's scary
thinks he's better than you
thinks he's better than everyone
has the audacity to wear white shoes with a blue suit??? are you going to prom????? sir????
obsessed with phoenix wright to an alarming degree
perfectly manicured nails!
the kind of guy who warns you never to go into his basement
nice on the outside but it's all fake
deeply rooted issues even he's unaware of
if you like drillbit hair consider Klavier instead
Ryunosuke Naruhodo
world's biggest baby
secretly a bitch
loves to clown on people
fake it till you make it
has no clue what he's doing most of the time
very determined in spite of that
everyone loves him
so many cool friends
cries at the thought of your bare ankles
physically incapable of walking by a shop and not buying something he doesn't need
"look, i got you a gift!!" "awh, how sweet! ...what is it?" "i don't know, i'll ask Mr Sholmes when he gets home!"
good with his tongue
may be somewhat trapped in the closet
has literally zero chill
remember when he just casually chased armed robbers??
must be a family trait
Iris interrogates you about your intentions with her brother
she has a gun
you have no privacy at his place
Sholmes crashes your dates
his bromance with Kazuma sometimes drops the "b"
becomes ultra cool eventually
hop into that time machine and date Ryu's ass, but be prepared to deal with period-appropriate homoeroticism and misogyny lol
Extra little shout out to Kazuma Asogi for that one time where he was a defense lawyer for, like, an hour and a half and somehow managed to cram 50 of the horniest one-liners in the game in that very limited time. Date him.
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kuroopaisen · 4 years ago
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tiny love || 14
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➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime is easy. your feelings aren’t ignored, either. after finally telling him the truth, there’s a lot of tension in the air.
warnings: f!reader
wc: 2k
m.list | ch. 13 ↞ ch. 14 ↠ ch. 15
Try as you might, you just couldn’t pay attention to your lecture.
The lecturer droned on in the archetypal slow drawl, slowly clicking through their powerpoint for each new point. Thank God they had the decency to upload the PDF after the lecture – you’d just take all the important notes from that.
Getting back to some sense of normalcy, back to the thrum of everyday life, was supposed to take your mind off things. But it didn’t. Tooru, Hajime, the whole damn mess – it still wavered in the back of your mind, flickering in and out of conscious thought.
It was almost impossible to ignore.
“Give him time,” Iwaizumi had said, exhausted. “It’s up to him now.”
He was right. You knew that. But it didn’t make you feel any better.
Your phone buzzed in your lap. Frowning, you looked down and turned the screen upwards.
Everything stopped. Your eyes shot wide, your heart beating erratically to the tempo of the ringing.
You gathered your things up in an instant and fled from the lecture hall as unobtrusively as possible, hands trembling as you jabbed at the ‘answer call’ icon.
The girls’ bathroom seemed to be empty as you rushed through the doors and sought out the closest cubicle. You held the phone up to your ear as you sat down on the toilet lid, breathless.
“Hello?”
A silence answered you. Had you been too late? Just missed it? Would it be amiss to call back immed—
“Hey.” Tooru’s voice was tight, sharp, unfamiliar.
“Hey,” you echoed, a queasy uneasiness settling in your stomach. Why was he calling you now? Why hadn’t he warned you?
You hadn’t been given any time to prepare.
Maybe he’d done that on purpose. Maybe he was trying to catch you off-guard.
“Did you… did you want to talk?” You asked.
Some part of you still wanted to fight, to get all scrappy and shout again. You didn’t want to grovel, to beg him for forgiveness, to rebuke anything you’d said prior.
But you didn’t want to throw this all away, either. He’s still your brother; even if he’s a brat, even if he’s selfish, even if he’s inconsiderate.
“Yeah,” he swallowed.
You bit the inside of your cheek, totally at a loss of what to say next.
God, this was so awkward. You’d never had this much trouble talking to your brother before. Well, trouble, maybe, but discomfort… It’s almost worse than the anger. At least there’s something to say during the fire. There’s just ash in the aftermath.
“I just…” Tooru sighed. You could visualise him gripping his hair with frustration, or touching his forehead with the tips of his fingers. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
Ah.
That was the question, wasn’t it?
If you’d just said something all those years ago, maybe you could’ve avoided this entire debacle. But how were you supposed to know? You didn’t know anything when you were in high school.
You hadn’t known that you’d be sitting in your university’s bathroom, halfway across the world from home, feeling like you were about to spew your guts out because the thought of talking to your brother terrified you so damn much.
The only time you’d ever been scared of Tooru was when Hajime was involved. But scared of what?  
“I… I thought you’d be mad,” you mumbled.
It sounded silly now. Scared of Tooru? Scared of your own damn brother? Pathetic.
But you weren’t the only one.
“And Iwaizumi, he…” It was all a blur, but you could remember one thing. The fear of disapproval.
Iwaizumi had been terrified that Tooru would disapprove. Worst of all, he’d been afraid that Tooru would misunderstand it all.
“He told me that one of the other guys on the team asked about me,” you said quietly, “and that you got really mad.”
Tooru laughed. “What, he thought I’d disapprove of him just because I didn’t want Yahaba getting anywhere near my sister?”
“I heard you got pretty mad,” you mumbled. In truth, you were still kind of pissed about that. Tooru had no say in who you did and didn’t date – much less who had a right to a relationship with you.
Although, you felt you’d made that much clear the last time you’d spoken to him.
“And let me guess,” Tooru sighed after a long moment, “Iwaizumi didn’t want to create a big mess and pit us against each other and break a bunch of hearts.”
“Mhm,” you nodded slowly.
“Sounds about right…” Tooru grumbled.
“He also was worried that you’d think…” You swallowed roughly, the words sticking to your throat. “That you’d think he was messing around with me.”
It was the worst thing he’d said. The implication that he wasn’t serious, that it was all a game to him; of everything he’d said that awful day, that’d hurt the most.
“Messing around with you?” Tooru scoffed. “Like he’s the type of guy to do that…”
There was comfort in hearing those words. But they have a different pallor from the last time you’d spoken with him; had Hajime’s words moved him so much? What had been said between them? You hadn’t asked out of fear, but maybe you should’ve…
“You sounded pretty angry the other day,” you mumbled.
“Yeah, but…”
There was still a terseness in his voice, an edge that he couldn’t soften.
He was trying. Hard. He wasn’t hiding how he felt, but he was… containing it. Was he coddling you?
No. No, he was trying to be reasonable. You couldn’t fault him for that, at least.
“Look… I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not mad,” Tooru sighed.
Your gut twisted, your instincts screaming at you to hang up, to avoid Tooru for the rest of time, to do anything you could to avoid that anger. You’d faced it once; you never wanted to face it again.
But Tooru didn’t raise his voice. If he really was still mad, he was stymieing it gently, keeping it contained.
“I just…” His words were quiet, barely audible. “I just want to understand what went wrong.”
Your thoughts skidded to a halt. “What went wrong?”
That’s… a big question. A really big question. One with all sorts of caveats, countless nooks and crannies to fall into and get lost in. Hell, you weren’t even sure if the two of you had the same interpretation of that question.
“Well… neither of you told me, right? But from the sounds of it, you got pretty hurt.”
That felt like an understatement. But what would Tooru know? What could Tooru know?
“I… I don’t know, Tooru,” you sighed. You were no longer the kid you were back then. “Hajime made the decisions but I… I just went along with it. I didn’t… advocate for myself, I guess.”
You couldn’t blame yourself for that. There you were, infatuated with your older brother’s friend, and terrified of making a mess.
And that’d been considerate of you. There was no reason to be upset with yourself for thinking about others.
But you’d forgotten yourself, letting your own feelings get shoved aside for a ‘maybe’. ‘Maybe’ you’d break up. ‘Maybe’ Tooru would be mad. ‘Maybe’ it’d cause a mess. How were you supposed to live your life protecting other people from possibilities, from problems that hadn’t even taken root?
A ‘maybe’ meant you could prepare. Meant you could make promises, make vows, make sure that the outcome wouldn’t be as bad as any of you feared. As much as you could.
“I think Iwaizumi was more scared than I was,” you admitted.
Perhaps it’s not your secret to tell; frankly, you don’t really know if it’s true. But you knew Iwaizumi, and you knew his heart.
You hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but it felt like the truth. Maybe he’d had more to lose than you. Maybe he was worried that his relationship with Tooru would never recover. You had the safety net of being a family member; someone he’d have to forgive one day, even if the mere act of dating his friend seemed like an insurmountable transgression to him.
Iwaizumi didn’t have that security.
Tooru was quiet for a long moment before sighing. “What, did he feel like he was betraying me or something?”
Your stomach twisted at his choice of words.
“Not… not that I ‘own’ you,” he mumbled, as though tripping over what he just said. “But, you know… teenage brains and all that. They’re not exactly reasonable.”
You bit your lip, frowning. “I mean, I can’t be sure… You’d have to ask him about that.”
“Right…” Tooru sighed for what felt like the thousandth time this conversation. Well, at least he wasn’t shouting.
“Can I ask you a question?” Tooru asked, surprisingly apprehensive.
“Sure.”
“Did you ever hate me for it?’
The question shot through you with a jolt.
The unfortunate truth was yes. In a way, you had. It was hard not to feel some kind of bitterness towards him – for being so bright, for being so ambitious. And of course, for what happened with Iwaizumi. It felt like you’d lived half your life in a shadow, unable to distinguish yourself as anything other than ‘Tooru’s younger sister.’
But there was no way to say that. Not when it’s complicated. Not when it’s your brother.
“Nevermind,” Tooru said, clearing his throat. “Look, just… keep me in the loop from now on, okay?”
You grimaced. “You want to know all the details?”
“Of course not!” He damn near shrieked. “Just… you know. If you break up, or if you get engaged… stuff like that.”
Your face flushed hot. “Tooru—”
“Okay, that’s all!” He hummed. “See you later!”
“Wait, Toor—”
The phone buzzed against your ear, a sure sign that Tooru had taken his leave. You sighed, letting all the tension that’d gathered in your chest dissipate in your breath.
That was… weird.
But not unwelcome. Not unwelcome at all. Everything was uncertain; maybe Tooru would change his mind. Maybe he’d decide that, actually, he hated the idea of this and he’d disown you if you kept dating Iwaizumi.
But right then, sitting in your tiny university cubicle, you realised something.
It was all in your hands, now. You could choose the way forward.
✧ ✧ ✧
“Hajime!” You called as you rushed through your front door, bag in tow.
“Yeah?” He was standing in the kitchen, clad only in a pair of grey sweatpants as he unpacked the dishwasher.
You didn’t even take the time to marvel at the sight. The only thing on your mind was rushing towards him and throwing your arms around his neck.
“Everything okay?” He chuckled, placing a firm hand on your back.
“Mhm,” you hummed into his neck, revelling in his warmth. He was always so warm; your own man-sized furnace. Did his sheer amount of muscle mass have something to do with that?
“You’re back early,” he said after a moment.
“Oh, yeah,” you grinned, tilting your head back to look at him. “I left my lecture early.”
Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at you.
“It’s fine,” you giggled, “I’ll just watch it later.”
Iwaizumi sighed, tutting under his breath as he leant in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. You knew he didn’t have the heart to actually scold you; not when your arms were wrapped around him.
You hummed into the kiss, slipping one of your hands into his hair.
It was nice, being with him like this. There was nothing to worry about anymore; you didn’t need to hide this. You didn’t need to push your feelings to the side and hope you’d just get over them. Finally, finally, it was okay to feel this way. To bare your heart without any shame.
It was one thing to stand up for yourself, to assert your right to do what you wanted.
But knowing that the one thing that’d always been holding you back, that’d taken your feelings hostage for God knew how long…
Everything just felt lighter.
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