#I literally never have time for anything I want to do
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HELLO MY DEAREST!!
May I PLEASE request headcanons for Kang Dae-Ho with preg!reader? Could be an au or not, up to you, whatever you'd prefer
My guy is UNDERRATED and I love him very much he is my husband <3
(Also could there maybe be a small portion abt the birth? If your comfortable with that only though!!)
Kang Dae-ho/Player 388 - Pregnant!reader headcannons
Synopsis: Daeho headcannons for when you're pregnant..
A/N: tried my best with this one !! hopefully it's good
Warnings: none
NOT IN THE GAMES:
➠ it's no secret that daeho is a total sweetheart
➠ got super excited the moment you found out you were pregnant
➠ secretly wants a girl (it's not a secret)
➠ absolutely talks to your stomach all the time
➠ Like he'll just randomly kneel in front of you and start talking to your stomach even if you're barely pregnant
➠ also kisses your stomach so much
➠ because he's such a sweetheart, he's there for ALL your pregnancy cravings no matter how weird
➠ he will literally run to the supermarket to get whatever you're craving for
➠ Highkey gets emotional with you
➠ like if you start crying out of nowhere he starts crying too
➠ and then you're both just there crying your hearts out on the couch
➠ do expect him to refuse to let you do anything that might be bad for the baby
➠ Not like he wasn't doing this before but he always cooks for you
➠ cooks twice as much because he's convinced you need to eat twice as much for the baby too
➠ he wants to know the gender the moment he's able to but if you don't want to know then he won't ever mention the gender
➠ just to really hide it, he buys both girl and boy baby clothes so you'll never know
➠ he may have brought too many toys for the baby honestly..
➠ He says it's because he "doesn't know what the baby wants" so he should "get everything" so your child can have "a range of options and never be sad"
➠ (He's overthinking about what toys to get)
➠ got an idea to buy one of those pregnancy simulator things so he could get an idea of the pain when you'll give birth and regretted it so bad
➠ Became a million times more doting afterwards because he is so stressed for you
➠ The closer you get to your due date, the more panicked and stressed he gets
➠ He's always watching you because he's scared that the baby will come any second now
➠ When the day finally comes and you're just in the hospital, he's by your side and holding your hand
➠ he's lowkey sweating
➠ he may have watched a few videos on birth and he's not looking forward to seeing it in real life..
➠ he still stays by your side though because he wants to be there for you
➠ he is highkey freaking out when you're giving birth because you're practically crushing his hand in yours and you're obviously in pain and that scares him so bad ..
➠ he just hates seeing you in pain so much
➠ do expect him to cry after you finally give birth
➠ he is just so eager to hold the baby in his arms but he waits for you to do it first
➠ totally fell in love with you all over again even if you look like an absolute mess right now
➠ Overall, best dad ever and i don't think anybody expected anything less
IN THE GAMES:
➠ Moment he sees you he just knows your pregnant
➠ He must have some sixth sense when it comes to you or something
➠ so panicked and nervous because what if something happens to you??
➠ can not stomach the idea of something happening so he's immediately keeping you close to him
➠ very cautious of other people who he hasn't already bonded with
➠ Always taking care of you
➠ shares his food and drink with you because he's convinced you need it more than he does
➠ every single game he's by your side
➠ always making you lean onto him for support if you have to run
➠ Honestly might even pick you up and carry you himself just so you don't hurt yourself
➠ asks you how you feel after every game
➠ when it's lights out, he whispers the cutest things while in front of your stomach
➠ he just finds it to be so comforting to talk to the baby
➠ always promises you that you'll all make it out alive and he'll give you and the baby the best life he can
➠ Overall, still a sweetheart but also very afraid for you and the baby..
"Are you okay? Nothing's wrong, right?" Daeho asks as he sits by you. He had been incredibly worried for you the moment his eyes landed on you during the first game. He could just tell you were pregnant and that scared him so much considering you were trapped here - a place where you could lose your life at any moment. The idea put him on a constant edge and he spent every waking second by your side to keep you safe. He knows he'd never be able to forgive himself if something happened to you so he promised both himself and you that he'll get the two of you out of here and find a nice place to live where you can raise the baby. "If anything feels wrong, tell me, okay?"
#xaeinfinity#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game s2#kang dae ho
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Eyes on the Mirror - part 1
Pairing: neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader Rating: +18, NSFW Words count: 2631 Summary: You're at a turning point in your relationship with Frankie, he tells you that his mother insists on meeting you. Tags/Warnings: POV second person, no use of y/n, reader wears dresses, heels and uses make-up, no other description of her is given, no mention of her skin tone and she doesn't blush, no description of her hair, Frankie can lift her but he’s a hunk of a men you know, mention of food, established relationship, enemies to lovers, smut, fluff, kissing, mention of unprotected p in v, nipples play (f receiving), oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), panties in mouth (don't know how it's called in English, I just know that I like it lol), Frankie is our canon PEK and also the perfect boyfriend okay, mention of being caught (well, to be more specific, to be heard lol), pet names. Let me know if I forgot something and I'll add it right away. A/N: This has been a long journey and I think it took me longer than expected. Second part is coming tomorrow. It's an emotional work, it's smut, but it's smut with feelings and I think I put a lot of myself into it. So I ask you to be especially delicate. This Frankie is the same guy from You look like a fun place to sit and Give me more Anyway, let me say a few thanks because I can't believe I had two people volunteer to be my beta, I'm very lucky. Kate @aurorawritestoescape and Ally @arcanefox207 The fact alone that you took some time to read and proofread my stuff is so important to me and you have given me so many helpful suggestions and advice, I am very grateful ❤️ Thank you Odi @joelmillerisapunk , to let me blather, to cheer me up, to always have the right words, I don't know how you do it, you're literally a gem ❤️ We’re going back to the emotional unavailable men agenda asap but for the moment I hope you’ll enjoy my lover boy neighbor!Frankie who is crazy about his girl 🥰 English is not my first language, any mistake is still on me, so if you come across one I’m very sorry. Frankie Masterlist ⎮ Masterlist ⎮ part 2
You and Frankie have been together for four months now, and you’re incredibly happy. Your neighbor, the man you spent a year hating, revealed himself as the best man you’ve ever been in a relationship with.
You haven't said “I love you” to each other yet, you're taking it slow and you're perfectly fine with that, you know you have strong feelings for him but you don't know if he's ready to say it and the last thing you want is to ruin the best relationship you've had because of words said too soon.
So you respect his timing without forcing his hand. And still you often think you don't even really need to say it, all you really want is to keep being with him, the man who can make you laugh in a second, with whom you like to do everything from the most mundane things like grocery shopping and running errands, to talking for hours and sharing everything with him, cooking, going to parties and concerts, even bickering.
And sex.
Oh, Frankie is a fucking magician.
The most shockingly fiery and at the same time sweet lover you've ever had.
You feel you can be yourself at all times with him, he knows your flaws and frailties and accepts them. And from where you were starting out it already feels like a considerable accomplishment. You never thought that the man who used to spend time judging you, once you penetrated his armor, was actually such a tolerant and nonjudgmental person.
You haven't moved in together, but you spend almost every night together, and yet, you are still trying to navigate your relationship without making the other one run off before taking the next step.
So when Frankie tells you that his mother would love to meet you, you get a little scared but you try to put on a good face.
"You really don't mind?" he prods you.
You can never hide anything from him; Frankie has an ability to read your mind, the talent that you had never found in a man.
His eyes scan you and he has a cunning little smile as he’s standing on the other side of the table, eating the eggs you prepared for him.
“Yeah, don't worry, it's okay,” you nod, your movement a little forced, and Frankie notices it.
“You're nervous, huh? Look it's normal,” he tries to reassure you, his hand slides across the table until it meets yours.
He squeezes it gently and then intertwines his fingers with yours.
“I'm sorry, she's been nagging me for at least a month now, I've managed to keep her at bay until now but she grilled me yesterday and told me that she was expecting us for dinner on Friday.”
“Yeah...I just feel a little pressure, you know, but it's okay,” you admit.
“Babe, she will like you very much, I'm sure.”
You look into his eyes, those big eyes the color of coffee and chocolate, and the comfortable glow they give off immediately takes away part of the weight you feel on your chest.
“Are you sure?” you murmur.
“Of course!” he smiles at you, ”Well, you're a little sassy but...”
You slap his hand “Frankie! You're not helping me!” you complain.
“Come on, I'm kidding. She’s going to adore you, I have no doubt about it,” he chuckles.
“Mmmm we’ll see” you still mumble with uncertainty.
"Come here," he says softly.
You get up and walk over to him before he welcomes you on his lap and you wrap your arms around his neck. He rests his forehead on yours looking into your eyes and repeats softly, “she will adore you…not as much as I do but she sure will”
The thing is this with him, he's been circling around that word for weeks, so you're pretty sure he's going to confess sooner or later.
"What if she doesn't like me?" you ask him and bite your lip, looking at him expectantly.
“Uh, I don't want to stop fucking you, you know... so, you'll have to stay in a clandestine relationship while I'm dating a woman, personally chosen by my mom.”
You kiss him, muttering “god, you're so...”
He giggles and asks "what am I like?" tightening his grip on your waist a little tighter and pulling you closer to his chest, your tits pressed against him.
“An incredibly lovely fucking bastard.”
________________________________________
You are in the kitchen preparing dinner, which in your case means putting take-out pizza on plates, as you hear Frankie come in.
“Hey, are you here?”
He gave you his keys a few weeks ago to make it easier for you to get around.
“In the kitchen!” you shout to him.
You hear his footsteps approaching from the hallway until he comes in with a bag.
“Hey, baby.”
You walk up to him to give him a kiss, he immediately puts down the bag and hugs you tightly. “mmm I missed you. What's for dinner?”
“Pizza,” you tell him smiling through your eyelashes and stealing another kiss, his beard tickling your cupid's bow pleasantly “And I was thinking about…uhm…your cock for dessert.”
He squeezes your butt, chuckling, “So eager, huh?”
“For you? Always,” you purr, looking into his eyes, veiled with desire.
His stomach grumbles slightly making you giggle, “Do you want to eat first?”
“Uh, no,” he whispers, and as he does so he slips two fingers under the straps of your dress and pulls it off, letting it slide to the floor.
You're in your panties in front of him, no bra, he looks at you spellbound with a smirk that unknowingly puckers his lips, "do you know how beautiful you are?"
His eyes move from your face down to the crease of your neck, your cleavage, your breasts, your stomach, slowly, as if he is drinking from your body, the source that keeps him alive.
He takes his time, still hasn't touched you but you'd swear you've never felt more caressed than now, nurtured, sensed, accepted in your body's every disheveled and flawed manifestation.
You could swear you could moan from that alone.
When his hands approach your hips you want them so badly that you instinctively lean into them to meet his palms, the warmth of his skin welcoming you.
You cling to his broad shoulders, bringing his body closer to yours.
He lifts you up as if you weighed nothing and lays you on the kitchen countertop, next to the sink.
Your legs hang over the edge as he commands, “open wide, baby,” and settles in between, still fully clothed.
“Frankie, please.”
“You know what I like?” he asks with a smirk, ”the way you light up as soon as I touch you. God, it drives me crazy the way you instantly become a needy little animal, you know that?"
You feel your eyes heavy and your voice shaky as you repeat his question, “You know what I like? The way you know exactly what I need.”
He smiles, leaning down to your neck to bite the soft skin over your pulse point and soothing it right after with his warm tongue.
He lowers himself onto you, leaving a trail of kisses on your beating chest, pausing on your tits and spreading his lips over your nipples, first one and then the other, caressing them with his tongue, swirling it around. You moan with each touch, tilting your head back as he sucks them harder, his beard pinching you gently, his warm lips enveloping them.
You pull his cap off and sink a hand into his dark curls.
He knows you so well, it is as if he has memorized your every little reaction and in his mind has written himself a manual on how to make you completely lose control.
He continues to work on your nipples, grazing them with his teeth, licking them up and down with his tongue, sucking them between his lips, hard and covering them with his saliva. His tongue goes around your areola, returning to your little pebble every time you pull his hair a little harder and mewl.
He suddenly leaves your tits and returns to your neck, you groan in disappointment but his tongue immediately soothes you trailing up to your jaw and licking over your lips, inviting them to open for him and dragging you in a sloppy, feral kiss that leaves you breathless.
His hips are rocking into you, brushing over your damp underwear while you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him against your core.
His eyes are dark with lust as he moves one of his hands over your soaked underwear, brushing your folds with his knuckles, “I’m going to make you scream my name so loudly, baby”
“That’s exactly what I want,” you prod him, biting down softly on his lower lip. “Do your magic, Morales.”
You loosen the grip of your legs, gently pushing his shoulders to invite him to lower himself, and Frankie grumbles jokingly, "bossy".
He kneels in front of you holding his hands down on your back, just above your butt and pushes you toward him, you falter for a moment balancing on the edge of the counter but his grip is strong and secure.
You run a hand through his curls, tugging slightly.
He licks a strip over your panties, taking the fabric between his teeth, without stopping to look at you.
A fucking tease.
He stills for a moment and then kisses your clit.
Then he moves his flat tongue flat down, almost to your tight hole and then back up, again and again, lingering on your clit with quick flicks of his tongue.
The fabric of your panties is wet with his saliva as a new stream of pleasure floods you, soaking them even more.
“Oh fuck, yes,” you holler.
He looks at you mischievously. “Thinking about it… we should take some measures to make sure you stay quiet, honey, you know?” he nods to the half opened window right behind you.
You glance back and then blurt out, “oh, whatever, let them hear us.”
Frankie chuckles at your impatience. “Do you really want to put on a show for the whole neighborhood?”
“There are curtains, they can't see us,” you frown
“But do they need to hear us?” he says as he pulls off your panties, sliding them down your legs.
He sniffs them for a moment- “fucking sweet, darling” - while you wonder what he's going to do, then rolls them and stands back up, sneaking his hand behind your neck and looking at you authoritatively, his lips pursed in a smirk.
He runs his thumb over your mouth, stops in the center and pushes gently, silently commanding you to open it. The moment your lips part he thrusts your panties into your mouth. “That's it, good girl” he coos.
It’s so wrong, keeping your panties in your mouth like that, your tongue numbed with the taste of it and your body tense under Frankie’s gaze. But also fucking right.
He graciously holds his power over you, always considerate of your need while he plays with your mind in a delicious nasty way.
He caresses your cheek, moving down to the column of your neck, wrapping his fingers around it, “Don't try to take them out or you won't get what you want,” he gently orders. “Can you behave for me?”
You nod.
He gives you a smirk and gets back on his knees and admires your glistening pussy for a moment. “Always so fucking wet for me,” he whispers before sinking into you again, licking and sucking on your clit and down on your folds, his nose hitting your most sensitive part.
When you’re basically dripping on your inner thighs, he slides two fingers inside you, so easily moving over the spot he knows makes you see double.
His fingers are inside you up to his knuckles when he curls them, pushing and grasping.
You are thrown into a frenzy almost immediately as he gently hits you with his fingertips again and again, sucking avidly on your clit as you’re stifling your moans by clenching your teeth on your panties.
He laps at your folds so thoroughly, then goes back on your bundle of nerves, sloppy wet noises fill the air mixing with your gasps as he scissors and pushes into you.
He hums against you, whines evenly, you watch him through your eyelashes as he palms himself from above his jeans, seeking some relief.
He doesn’t stop until he feels your legs shake and your stifled mewls trying desperately to get out of your throat.
Your orgasm crushes over you like a wave, leaving you quivering and breathless.
He gets back up and removes the panties from your mouth, kissing you with his mouth still smeared with your essence.
“You’ve been so good, baby.”
You pull him by his shirt protesting, "You haven't got anything yet, though.”
“That’s not a problem, hun, we can eat something and then you’ll eat me. Dessert, remember?”
You giggle “deal.”
You steal another kiss from him before slipping your dress back on and setting the table.
As you eat you notice the bag he left in a corner by the kitchen door.
“What is that?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh, I almost forgot, it's a gift for you."
You squint your eyes “For me? You didn't have to!”
Frankie smiles “I saw it in a store and thought of you. Open it.”
You get up and go for the bag, not before giving him a kiss.
When you open the bag you find a dress.
Very simple, black, not too low-cut, with a tulip skirt.
As you're looking at it, leaning it over your body to see the length, Frankie suggests that you could wear it to his mother's.
____________________________________________
“Are you ready, honey?”
Frankie's voice is muffled by the bathroom door as you're finishing putting on your lipstick.
“Almost, you just need to help me with the zipper.”
Frankie opens the door and peeps into the bathroom.
He stops behind you, admiring you in the mirror as you stand there with your lips parted, leaning slightly over the sink, your legs slender from your heels, you wear the dress he bought you, unzipped at the back.
“Jesus, you’re a vision,” he breathes. “Maybe we should skip dinner at my mom’s.”
He approaches you and settles his big hands firmly on your hips.
“Come on, Frankie, be serious,” you giggle.
“I'm serious,” he replies in a rough, deep voice.
He leans down to leave a trail of kisses down the exposed skin on your back, his soft lips send shivers down your spine and you are almost on the verge of giving in.
You set your lipstick down on the sink countertop and turn to look at him pouting
"You can't do this to me now, you know we can't skip it.”
“Well, it might help you relax though,” he continues to flirt, his lips curved into a little smile.
You’d fall for it any other day but not now that you’re trying to figure out how to impress someone you don’t even know.
Frankie told you something about his mom, how protective she is and overall pretty conservative, you’re the exact opposite.
You don’t know why he stays so positive about the dinner, you’re pretty sure she will hate you.
One look from you is enough to let him know how nervous you are.
Frankie leaves a light kiss on your shoulders and says. "Okay, I'll behave, turn around."
He pulls up his zipper looking at you in the mirror, “Anyway, I wasn’t lying, you look really beautiful.”
You smile softly, feeling your heart fluttering.
general tag list: @baronessvonglitter , @milla-frenchy , @thundermartini , @harriedandharassed , @almostempty let me know if you want to be added or removed and I’ll do it right away. Thank you so much for reading!
#pedro pascal#frankie morales smut#frankie catfish morales#frankie morales x f!reader#neighbor!au#neighbor!frankie morales x f!reader#ppcu#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal characters fanfiction
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Clingy | Vivianne Miedema x Man City!Reader
5k celebration prompt: "Do you really think she likes that you're so clingy?"
Woso masterlist | Words: 1.3k
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You had been at City for a few years now, and your teammates knew you well. They knew you loved the team, and hanging out together, but they also knew that you weren’t as affectionate as most of them were.
Never did your teammates think anything of you not being affectionate with them. It wasn’t something everyone enjoyed, and they knew that. They were just happy to have you around.
However when Viv joined the team, all of a sudden they saw a shift in your affection.
The first time they noticed something was when you were on the bus, sitting next to Viv. Her head leaning on your shoulder, after she had fallen asleep. Most of your teammates had seen the moment, but figured Viv had just nodded off, and you didn’t want to wake her.
But it wasn’t just that moment. It didn’t matter in what environment you were, Viv always found a way to be near you.
When walking towards the pitch for training, Viv would loop her arm through yours. You never shrugged her off, and your teammates noticed there how naturally you let it happen.
During drills at training, she would nudge your shoulder ever so often while waiting for the next drill. Sometimes it was to point something out, other times it was to joke around.
Even during games. When you and Viv would both sit on the bench, she made sure to sit next to you. When someone would try to squeeze in, she would subtly shift so she could keep her spot next to you.
When you were out with some of the girls, they noticed that Viv would place her hand on your arm or leg casually, like it was the most normal thing ever. It might be a normal thing for most people, but for you it wasn’t.
The girls had never seen you let anyone get so close to you, and they kept being amazed. They couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that you let Viv be so clingy, while usually you didn’t even like when people touched you in general. Were you just letting it happen because you didn’t want to make Viv feel bad? Or were you enjoying it as much as she was?
It was the first movie night since Viv joined, that someone decided to voice their thoughts. The movie started and to no one's surprise, Viv sat down next to you. It didn’t take long for her to get comfortable and cuddle into your side, her legs resting on yours.
About halfway through the movie, you got a call. “Sorry, I have to take this.” You whispered into Viv’s ear. Gently pulling your body away from underneath hers. Some of your teammates shot you questioning looks. “It’s okay, just keep playing the movie. I’ll be right back.”
You moved into the hallway of Jill’s apartment, closing the door behind you to block the noise that was coming from the living room before you picked up the phone.
Viv looked after you, sad to have lost the comfort that you were giving her. Alanna noticed the longing looks she was sending to the door. “Viv, do you really think she likes that you're so clingy?" The question came out rougher than intended, but Alanna went with it anyway.
Her head turned to Alanna and the rest of the girls. “Yeah, why wouldn’t she?” Viv asked with her brow slightly furrowed. Surely if you didn’t like her doing so, you would have told her by now.
The movie was paused and all attention was on your conversation now. “Well, it’s just that I’ve never seen her be touchy with anyone. In fact I’ve seen her push people off or tell them off when they’re touching her for too long.”
Some of the girls chuckled, and Lauren added, “It’s commonly known that she doesn’t like it when people touch her.” A statement that came with a few nods from the rest of the girls.
Before you could say anything, Jill jumped in. “Yeah, well you guys don’t know y/n outside of City. I grew up with those two, they’ve always been like this.”
Kerstin build up Jill’s point more. “Literally. When I joined them at the national team, I for real thought they were dating.”
Viv’s cheeks turn red at Kerstin’s words, peaking the interest of the team even further than the conversation about if you liked the clinginess or not.
You returned to the living room and all eyes were on you. It felt a little uneasy, so you quickly sat down next to Viv again. But instead of her leaning into your side like she usually did, she kept sitting up straight. It looked like she was actively making sure that she wasn’t touching you.
The whole situation felt awkward. The movie paused, and all eyes on you. Well, all eyes except Viv’s, who seemed to be ignoring you at all costs. “Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”
Jill exchanged a quick look with Alanne before speaking up, deciding it was best if she took the lead in answering. “We were just talking about how close you and Viv are. Nothing bad!”
Your eyes narrowed at the addition of the ‘nothing bad’. No one ever added that when that was the case.
"Right," Lauren added, trying to lighten the mood but failing miserably. "We were just saying it’s surprising—since you’re not usually, you know, touchy with anyone."
You look between them, a frown forming on your face. “Okay, and?” You didn’t like when people analysed you in the first place, but why did they have to bring Viv into it?
“Well,” Alanna spoke up after the rest of the team seemed to hesitate. “we were wondering if you’re actually okay with it. You don’t really let people touch you ever. But Jill said you two have been this way for ages, and that’s kind of where the conversation ended.”
Viv’s posture and refusal to meet your eye, suddenly made sense. They had said something to make her doubt herself, or even worse make her doubt you and your actions.
“Seriously?” You snap at them, feeling the anger boil inside your chest. “Don’t you have something better to do than analyse who I let into my personal space?”
The team looked taken back, not expecting your anger. You realised it had come out sharper than intended, so after taking a deep breath, you softened your tone. “Look, I know I’m not the most affectionate person, but it’s Viv. I don’t mind Viv being clingy. And if you think for a second that I would let anyone do anything that I didn’t want, you don’t know me at all.”
The team knew very well that you knew you would stand your ground and not let anyone walk over you, so they should’ve realised that you would’ve also not let Viv do something you didn’t like.
Finally Viv looked up at you, her fingers still fidgeting with the sleeves of her hoodie. “You really don’t mind?”
You shake your head and reach for her hand. “No, not at all. I like it even.” With a gentle tug at her hand, you pull her back into your side.
The rest of the girls kept watching you, as you pulled Viv closer and wrapped your arm around her. “Can we please move on and continue watching this movie?”
Viv lightly chuckled at the girls mumbling their sorry’s as they turned back to the TV. You squeeze her a little tighter. “Don’t let them get to your head. If you ever question something, please just come to me.” She nodded her head, and got comfortable again.
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#pockets 5k celebration#vivianne miedema#viv miedema#vivianne miedema x reader#manchester city women#manchester city wfc#man city women#man city wfc#mcwfc#nedwnt#nedwnt x reader#oranjeleeuwinnen#oranje leeuwinnen#woso#woso x reader
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I try very hard to be a "trust the science/doctors and not random guys on the internet" guy but if I'd held that position regarding gynecological health & didn't do my own research online, I would've never gotten anything close to decent medical care from them.
This is a medical profession that often won't run tests unless you're trying to get pregnant and it's interfering with that. Otherwise they just tell you to take the pill. They don't care about your wellbeing unless you're putting in the effort to be a good little baby factory. Not sure if it's the same everywhere but that was my experience.
I've only ever seen one gyn who knew more than me about birth control & he was an expensive private one I saw once when I was weighing my options regarding sterilization. He was the only one I didn't have to argue with because he got all the facts right & treated me like a person.
I fucking hate gynecologists & I wouldn't be surprised if it kills me one day because I refuse to see them more often than is absolutely necessary (thankfully my fear of getting pregnant trumps my hatred of the profession, but I can't say the same for cervical cancer). I'm perfectly fine with most other doctors, even dentists, but gyns have consistently been the worst informed, most misogynistic & transphobic doctors I've had to deal with. Even the psychiatrist who diagnosed me with "transsexuality" like they were using a guidebook from the 1980's was more respectful than most gynecologists I've had.
I swear every time I force myself to see a new one I end up having to sit through the most invasive, unprofessional lecture that I literally didn't ask for and they always have no clue what they're talking about, but it sure as fuck doesn't stop them. Then I check online & they mostly have positive reviews because they probably only treat you that badly if you're not conforming to what they want you to be doing with your body, (or maybe their patients largely don't think they deserve better treatment because it's what they're used to).
The gynecologist was surprised to learn I wanted an IUD because apparently another trans guy just recently told her, very confidently, that he can't get pregnant because T makes you infertile.
Guys. Boys. Dudes. Folks... Don't play with fire.
Testosterone can inhibit some of the other hormonal levels that trigger ovulation, making ovulation less predictable. Many peoples’ ovaries will release eggs less frequently, if at all. However, this doesn’t mean that ovulation entirely stops if someone is taking testosterone. This means that a person on T can still be fertile and get pregnant while on testosterone.
#maybe I'm cursed or maybe it's something about the profession that makes them treat their patients like shit#with all the shit i've heard from ppl who have been pregnant & given birth & how they were treated during i'd say it's likely the latter#rant over#gynecological health#trans experiences#contraception#birth control
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Trust
Yesterday, you guys voted on this poll and decided that Buck and Tommy should have an argument over trust. Here is that argument:
“You don't trust me.”
“Evan, I-”
“I can't believe it,” he huffed, shaking his head. “After all this time y- you don't trust me.”
“I never said that, Evan. You're not listening to me.”
“I told you it was a mistake. Told you he misheard me and once I pushed him away he was embarrassed and very apologetic about it.”
“I still shouldn't have heard it from him!” Tommy exclaimed, his tone causing Buck to step back in surprise. In their three years together he'd only heard Tommy raise his voice one other time, and that was when he was kicking his own dad out of their home.
“I told you, Tommy, I didn't see a real reason to tell you. Vinny's new to your station, he came to the bar late, and he didn't know we were together. We were talking about dung beetles and then he asked if he could kiss me. I said 'I've got a boyfriend' but he thought I said-”
“'If you'll be my boyfriend', I know the story, Evan. I heard it from Vinny while we were in the sky! Nearly crashed the damn bird!” Tommy ran a hand over his face. “You really didn't think, for a second, that maybe you should have told me about this?”
“N- Not really. It didn't mean anything. I want- wanted to protect you.”
“Ha!” Tommy laughed bitterly. “Protect me? Why do I need protection, Evan? I'm not a delicate flower. If you would have told me, I wouldn't have been caught off guard and then grounded for the rest of my shift. I could have talked to Vinny about it right as work started so he didn't go five hours thinking I was playing a psychological game with him!”
“I don't really know what you want from me, Tommy! I told you I was trying to do the right thing. I didn't cheat on you, it was a misunderstanding. You're blowing everything out of proportion and making i- it seem like I just hide stuff from you.”
“Can you blame me?!” Tommy asked. “You literally just said you wanted to protect me! So yeah, I do wonder what else you've hidden from me while using protection as an excuse.”
“There's nothing!” Buck yelled, tossing his hands up in the air. “God, this is going nowhere!”
“You're right about that.” Tommy walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up his keys.
“W- Wait, where are you-”
“I'm just going to the garage, Evan. I need a minute to think.”
“We made a promise to never walk away from an argument, Tommy!”
“You broke that promise the night we made it!” Tommy reminded him, walking down the hall and slamming the garage door shut behind him.
*****
When Tommy walked back into the house he was overwhelmed by the scent of sweetness coming from the kitchen. He entered the room slowly.
“You're baking,” he said, his voice calm and measured.
Buck shrugged. Didn't even bother to look up from the measuring cup he was filling with flour. “Force of habit.”
“I didn't leave, Evan,” Tommy said, upset to know just how nervous Buck had to be to resort to baking. Even all these years later, baking was reserved for when he felt like his world was falling apart. “I just needed a minute.”
“Two hours,” Buck corrected. “You were out there for two hours. I heard your truck start and I didn't...” His voice trailed off as he set the nearly empty container of flour on the counter.
“I was working on my engine,” Tommy explained. “Truck's been s-”
“Slow to start this week,” Buck finished with a nod. “I remember.”
Tommy walked around the counter to get closer to Buck. He placed a gentle finger under his chin and guided Buck to look up at him. “It was never about me not trusting you, Evan,” he explained. “I know you didn't want him to kiss you; he told me that. I just wish I would've heard it from you. I was caught off guard. You're my partner. I should have heard it from you.”
Buck's eyes glistened as he stared at Tommy. Tommy could see he'd been crying. It broke his heart. “I know,” he conceded. “I should have told you. I just- I didn't want work to be awkward.”
“Oh, it's definitely awkward,” Tommy replied, which got a brief smile out of Buck. It felt like a victory.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” Buck said. His voice was quiet, still a bit unsure. “And I'm not hiding things from you.”
“I know,” Tommy assured him with a nod. “I know. I overreacted. I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry too.”
They leaned in for a kiss at the same time, Buck closing his eyes and breathing a sigh of relief.
When Tommy pulled away, he kept Buck close, wrapping his arms around his waist. “It's a shame you can never be around anyone at the 217 ever again though,” he informed Buck playfully.
Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, there was Lucy, me, and then Vinny. It's like you're a drug to that station. Everyone wants a bite of Evan.”
“Hate to break it to them,” Buck replied, his arms draping over Tommy's shoulders, “but you're the only one who gets a bite of Evan.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“Not even Franks?”
“Isn't he the oldest firefighter in the LAFD?”
“Hes is,” Tommy confirmed. He pressed a chaste kiss to Buck's lips. “I know you like them older.”
“Hm,” Buck hummed, pretending to think it over. “No, sorry. You're stuck with me.”
Tommy smiled. “Good. I love you, Evan.”
“I love you too.”
After one more kiss, they let each other go. “So, the baking can be done now?” Tommy asked.
“Baking can be done. I was gonna make those caramel crunch cookies you love so much though.”
Tommy perked up at that. “Should we fight about something else so you'll still make them?”
Buck snorted out a laugh. “Get a new container of sugar from the pantry,” he ordered. “You can help.”
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Do you ship beetlebabes?
anon you're one of the three people i woke up to this morning asking if i ship beetlebabes LMAO. so i guess i better address it as thoroughly as i can.
shortest answer i can give you: no. but there's a lot more to it than just that. please read on
as long as it's not kid lydia, i don't care. i'm perfectly at peace with the ship and accept it as an integral part of the fandom (i'll get to that in a second) because this isn't like other ships of its kind. there's a small sector of the shipper side of the fandom that's cuckoo bananas and i don't fuck with that but that's more about those shippers in particular and not the ship itself. and yes, i'm okay with you reblogging my art and tagging it as "beetlebabes" on your blog for your own organization purposes.
i've been lurking the beetlejuice fandom for like 20 years now, so the ship doesn't faze me in the least. especially since i shipped them myself when i was younger, and this isn't a secret or anything i'm ashamed about, because i just never thought that deeply about it back then you know?? i just knew i enjoyed their dynamic in the cartoon a lot. and i'm pretty sure this is the case for most veteran beetlejuice fans because back then 90% of the fan content was beetlebabes. the ship pretty much carried the fandom all throughout the 90s and the 2000s, and the bulk of these shippers was always goth/goth-adjacent women into gothic romances who had crushes on BJ and projected onto lydia. NOT pedophiles or groomers or anything of the sort (and i need to reiterate this every time this stuff comes up because it's really important: do not ever judge whether or not someone is a groomer based only on what they ship because that's only going to put you at risk of being groomed by a "non-problematic" shipper. a groomer can use anything to groom you, even if you're not a minor. please always stay alert no matter what circles you're in. sorry for the PSA i've just seen some stuff and i worry)
the shift in the demographics of the fandom happened when the musical came out in 2019, which brought in a new beetlejuice canon with TONS of new fans who were more attuned to what makes a ship creepy and inappropriate (again, literally no one ever thought about this stuff before the 2010s.) so obviously this new wave of fans were horrified that the ship even existed in the first place. this created a pretty big split in the fandom between shippers and non-shippers. i've been referring to the topic as a hornets nest ever since and it's the reason why i largely keep to myself in my own little corner of the fandom.
as for my feelings about the ship...that shifted a lot through the years. shipped them, then i didn't. then i thought about them again, then i was like nah. eventually i realized that i'm very picky and particular about them and i was never going to feel at home on either side of the fandom so i had to figure out what kind of content i wanted to see, how i see their relationship and if i could create something with that myself since it seemed like no one else was doing it.
so here i am now. the stuff i'm making right now with adult lydia and beej from the cartoon is intended to be "platonic soulmates" since this is what i found to be the closest thing to what i always wanted to see more of, i find it comforting and beautiful and tragically underrated. people are free to interpret it however they wish though, as long as they don't expect me to meet their expectations, because i'll be doing my own thing regardless. i'm not stupid though, i know i managed to put them in a position where they probably could organically develop feelings for each other, and people are inevitably going to be drawn to that potential. so i can't blame the people commenting with "when will they kiss, i hope they get married, etc," i just hope they don't feel to disappointed to learn that i have no plans to explore that far lol (if that's all you were here for then uhhh sorry i guess)
if i ever choose to make something that is actually beetlebabes, i would tag it as such so people know and so people who don't want to see it can block it. maybe i'd even give ample warning beforehand because i wouldn't want to spring that on my followers who are uncomfortable with the ship out of the blue like that.
if you've read my beetleposts you probably already know that i like character studies and analyzing their dynamics, so i don't mind discussing the ship and how or why i think things would be one way or the other. perhaps i'm a bit too lax about it for some people, because i've been asked to tag a couple of analyses that seemingly dipped into beetlebabes territory without me even noticing. that made me realize that what qualifies as beetlebabes varies from person to person, which makes "do you ship beetlebabes" even harder to answer, because people see what they want to see in art. you can ask my non-shipper followers and most will say they don't see anything romantic in my art, but then you ask the shippers and it can be the total opposite. just as everyone does when they watch the source material.
so in conclusion
i don't ship them (any of the canon iterations) romantically but i'm chill with the whole thing as long as people aren't rude to each other in my comments (or to me for that matter) because i'm frankly way too old to give a fuck about these things or all the proship/anti/whatever nonsense
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A Christmas Encore | Part 2 of 2
Part of A Holly, Jolly Holiday with Min Yun-Kay collab with @yooglefics
✎ ˎˊ˗ Pairing: Min Yoongi x female reader
✎ ˎˊ˗ Summary: You never thought you’d see Min Yoongi again, not in this lifetime, not in this place. He left years ago with big dreams and bigger talent, trading snow-covered Seollim Hollow for the city lights of Seoul. But now, with the cultural center—the heart of your hometown—on the verge of being sold to a soulless corporation, you’ll do anything to save it.
When Yoongi appears on your doorstep, it feels like a miracle wrapped in regret. But as the two of you work together to save the center, old promises resurface, along with feelings you thought you’d left behind. Can you trust someone who was never meant to stay? Or will you just get hurt again?
✎ ˎˊ˗ Genre: Childhood Friends to Kinda Lovers to Kinda Strangers to Friends to Lovers (WHAT?! Yeah I got dizzy too) Second chances basically, Fluff, Smut, Mild Angst, Very Hallmark
✎ ˎˊ˗ Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ only. Cheesy, sometimes theatrical dialogue (just roll with it please), Christmas cliches, Yoongi at the Christmas concert is this right here), mild angst, cursing, minor mention of the pandemic, penetrative sex (wrap it before you tap it!), Yoongi's company/job is vague (it's fine!), did I say cheesy??
✎ ˎˊ˗ Word count: ~7k
✎ ˎˊ˗ Posting Date: January 13, 2025
✎ ˎˊ˗ Notes: Hello ho ho. Sorry it took a while to get this out! I was being a little scrooge by the end of this (who knew Christmas fics can be super challenging?) I do hope you enjoy part 2 of my little Hallmark-inspired Holiday gift. Enjoy! 🫶🏼🎉
Part One | Part Two | Masterlist
Yoongi doesn’t make a big deal out of your first date, but it still feels perfect. He takes you to a quiet café just outside town, the kind of place you’d never think to visit but where the coffee is rich and the pastries are warm.
The conversation comes easy—too easy, maybe. You laugh more than you have in weeks, just like old times. As you talk about the coming concert, an idea pops in your head. It’s not that serious, if anything, you just want to tease him a bit. “Maybe you and Hobi should do a breakdance routine at the show!”
He slurps the final dredges of his coffee, blinks up once, before blatantly ignoring you.
“Oh, come on, you really don’t miss breakdancing?” you try again.
“I don’t miss it. Do you?” He raises a brow.
“Miss what?”
“Miss him.”
Suddenly, you’re the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. “Oh, Yoongi…”
He averts his gaze, lip curving in the barest of ways before he looks down, poking the base of his glass with his straw. He’s a little embarrassed.
You sigh, endeared to no end as you see the tips of his ears growing red by the second. You decide to take him out of his misery. “No, Yoongi, I do not miss Hoseok that way. We’re really just friends.”
Yoongi groans, slouching back in his chair, and, not gonna lie, it makes you feel some typa way.
You wonder if he sees you now as some homie hopper slash town harlot, which fuck him if does so you ask. “Does it really bother you?”
Probably sensing the weight in your voice, he leans forward quickly and takes both your hands to reassure you. “Fuck, no. I’m just… shit I’m so bad at this.”
“At what?”
“You’re really gonna make me say it?”
You shrug.
Yoongi huffs a laugh, shaking his head as he leans back, but his gaze lingers on you, his expression softening. “I’m glad we’re finally doing this.”
“Yeah, it took us only all of a decade and a half,” you roll your eyes. “A literal pandemic had to happen.”
He’s quiet for a moment, looking at you again with his piercing stare—apologetic, maybe. “I’m not too late, right?”
You think you might just melt if it wasn’t below zero outside.
When Yoongi invites you back to his parents’ house that night, you don’t hesitate.
You head straight to his room and it instantly feels smaller than you remember, even if you were just there weeks ago. But it’s still so homey and familiar, full of little remnants of the boy you used to know—the boy you loved before you knew what it meant to really love someone.
And then he kisses you again, over and over, against the poster-covered wooden door, and all the years you spent apart fall away like snowflakes dissolving against your skin.
The way you make your way back to each other is slow and careful, but it doesn’t take long for the tension that’s been building for weeks to snap. His hands are warm against your skin, his lips soft and insistent, and when he pulls you onto the bed, it’s with a gentleness that leaves you breathless.
He sits by the headboard, guiding you towards his lap. He bites his lip as you situate yourself over him, grunting when you make contact against his crotch.
“Is Teenage Yoongi losing his mind right now?” You joke lightly, straddling his hips as you start unbuttoning your blouse, revealing your red lace bra.
He growls, actually growls. “Who cares about that loser,” he pulls you to capture your bottom lip while you shrug your blouse off. “Present Yoongi is so fucking hard right now, do somethin’ bout it…”
“Ohhh shit, Present Yoongi gets to make demands?” You plant both palms against his (apparently) really toned chest. Who knew?
“Present Yoongi hopes you’d do something about it,” he amends, taking one of your hands to kiss the inside of your wrist, once, twice, then leads your hand where your bodies are connecting.
He was not lying. In fact he may even be underselling it because while you cannot wrap your head around his sheer solidness, you certainly want to wrap your mouth around it. Shit.
You clamber off him, taking him by surprise, and he looks like you slapped him across the face.
“Relax, I got you, baby,” you say giggling as you guide his legs to swing over the side of the bed. “Go on, take that off,” you gesture to his pants while you peel yours off with a shimmy. And when he sees that all that’s left is the matching lace panty, his clothes immediately fly off to join the rest of yours.
The sight of his cock leaves your mouth watering, and you sink to your knees without further ado. You grasp his thick, velvety shaft, pumping lightly before guiding the tip towards the warmth of your mouth. You suck on the head once like a lollipop, releasing it with a tiny pop, repeating it as your eyes lock on him.
“Shit, I knew you’d look good on your knees,” he goads, biting his thumbnail with a smirk playing in his lips.
You decide you wanna erase the cocky grin on his face. So you draw him in quickly until he hits the back of your throat, the skin of your lips almost splitting from the sudden stretch. He stutters. You let drool coat his warm cock as your tongue glides up.
His deep, gravelly fuck, baby spurs you on, but also makes your basement gush. His voice is just… Ugh. You’ll deal with your own needs later, because you are on a mission.
You suck him like you’ve got a point to prove. Like he shouldn’t have left you all those years ago. Like he should’ve parked his ass right here and maybe you could’ve given it to him every damn night. Just like this.
When you hear the shortness of his breath, you know he’s really getting to it. So you suck him so damn good he’s left wondering how you got that good.
“A-a-ahh, hold up,” he stammers, stopping your movements with a gentle pull of your hair.
You sit on the balls of your feet, wiping your chin with the back of your palm. It’s your turn to have a cocky grin.
“You…” he shakes his head, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “My turn.”
He yanks you from the floor and throws you into the bed. And the next thing you know your panties are almost ripped from your legs and you’re spread open on top of his navy duvet like a Sunday feast.
“Gorgeous,” he murmurs, nosing your pussy gingerly, before giving it a whiff. “Fuck you smell so good.”
“Yoongi,” you squirm, propping your upper body with your elbows to watch the debauchery unfold. Or at least you hope so, but it seems like he wants to make you beg for it with the way he's leisurely blowing air across your damp skin.
“Please…” you beg, body tingling with desire.
“I’ve thought about this, you know,” Yoongi says looking up at you, before licking a broad stripe across your cunt. “A lot.” He does it again, tongue digging a little deeper to flick against your clitoris.
“Shit,” you tip your head back, already in a haze of lust. “Me too…”
“Really?” He shifts his position, then runs his knuckles up and down your glistening folds, each joint nudging your clit as it glides.
A cold shiver travels down your spine. “Oh god yes…”
“How are you already this wet?” he chuckles, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the inside of your thighs, pulling your leg up one shoulder.
“Yoongi,” you plead. “I didn’t tease…”
“Liar,” he says with a sinister grin, now toying with your hole with his index finger and looping your slick around like he has nothing better to do.
What in fresh hell is he talking about? And also, goddamit you need him inside you literally yesterday and he's still clowning around.
“I didn't tease you…” You whine, needy.
“Oh, but you did,” he mumbles against your skin, biting the soft flesh so close to your mound before laving it with his tongue. “Made me think you had a boyfriend, when all along, I could’ve given you this...”
You gasp as he inserts his finger inside you and already you clench around the lone intrusion.
“And this,” he adds another.
You don't even realize you're bucking your hips up until he guides you back down with an infuriating smile. “Easy, baby, we got all night.”
“But, your cock. Need it…”
“Maybe. You gon’ be a good girl for me?”
You nod. Yes, you want to be his good girl.
Finally he gives you mercy, and his mouth connects with your clit and sucks and you feel like heaven. Two fingers slide in and out of you in practiced strokes. You're already so wound up, it doesn't take long for you to kiss euphoria.
“Feels so good, Yoon…” You fist his sheets, back arching up, as you feel your demise fast approaching. He notices.
“Let go, baby.” he says, before the furious lashing of his tongue resumes against your nub.
Keeping the pace steady, he curls his fingers just slightly, allowing the pads to massage your walls until he finds the one spot that–
Fuck.
Light bursts behind your lids as you come, fast, hard, loud with a prolonged moan of his name.
Your back meets the bed’s plush as your orgasm washes over you. But before you come down, you feel a fresh surge of bliss as Yoongi takes a nipple inside his mouth, giving it tiny nibbles.
Your free arm reaches for his cock. He lifts his hip up slightly, so you can give it a few lazy strokes.
Before long, he shifts completely, leaning over you, his hair brushing against your forehead in feathery strokes. The ache inside you both lingers, unsated, but the world seems to slow around you. There’s a tenderness in the way he moves—his lips tracing a delicate path along your face. He presses soft kisses to your eyelids, your cheek, and the curve of your jaw, each one deliberate, each one unraveling you a little more.
“You’re still as beautiful as I remember,” he says before meeting your mouth for a kiss so sweet, your head is in the clouds again. “Do you still hate me, baby?”
You kiss him back, your reply coming in breathy cadences as your lips melt against each other. “I… don’t think… I ever could.”
And it’s true, wrapped around each other like this, the pains of the past slowly ebb away.
You feel a small smile on his lips, maybe a hint of relief. His tongue pushes in yours as you feel his cock rubbing up against your pussy lips, both of you breathing heavily with the delicious friction. He ruts up a few more times before you feel his blunt tip breaching your entrance, not going all the way in but teasing it in a way that leaves you wanting more, more, more and now.
“Get in me, Yoon. Want it…”
His reply is the push of this thick cock inside you, slow and slick, before he bottoms out with a grunt. You keen, your body bowing towards him on instinct, legs wrapping against his back.
He fills you up, wholly and completely, with every smooth stroke, your walls flutter around his girth and your heart is thumping against your ribcage, but you know it’s not just the ecstasy from your impending release. It’s from the way your eyes meet and you feel like you’re drowning again. Just like you did the first time. And you don’t ever want to come up for air.
“I’m so close…” your voice is strangled when you say it, your fingers clinging to his shoulders for dear life.
His mouth finds that sensitive spot under your ear, licking it, encouraging you to take it with whispers you can’t decipher. Your brain is so fucking empty, and all you know is every fibre of your being is submitting to him at this very moment.
“You feel amazing, fuck,” he grunts, tone as desperate as you are. “You gonna cream for me again, huh?” His thrusts get faster, deeper and it feels like your about to tip over the edge.
“Ah– baby, I’m coming…” Your entire body quivers against him as intense pleasure racks your body.
The rest is a blur as your eyes flutter shut, and Yoongi groans as he spills his seed against your clammy skin, hot liquid pooling on the inside of your thigh.
Later, after he cleans you up and gives you the cuddles your tired body craves for, you’re tangled together in the sheets. You rest your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. You’re hit with de ja vu.
“Don’t leave,” you whisper.
Yoongi’s arms tighten around you, his lips brushing lightly against your forehead. “I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs.
This time, you believe him with all your heart.
The days that follow feel like they belong to someone else. Someone living a life where everything falls perfectly into place—where the person they once thought they’d lost forever suddenly fits back into their world like they’d never been gone.
The tree lot smells like pine and cold, sharp winter air. You rub your hands together to keep them warm, your breath fogging in front of you as Yoongi stands a few steps away, examining a tree with a furrowed brow.
“This one’s perfect,” you say, pointing to the lush, symmetrical pine beside him. The store owner even added some gold tinsel on it to dress it up for buyers, making it look super sunshine-y and brilliant.
He turns, glancing at the tree. “It’s too… obvious,” he says, his lips twitching. “Look at it. It’s trying too hard.”
You laugh. “How can a tree try too hard?”
“It’s trying too hard to make you take them home,” Yoongi says, moving down the row. He stops in front of a shorter, slightly scraggly tree, with whitish branches and paler pine needles. “This one’s got character.”
“It’s literally lopsided… and so pale…”
“It’s cool,” he counters, brushing snow off one of the branches. Strangely, they even have the same height. “This is the underdog tree. You should root for it.”
You cross your arms, pretending to consider. “Or… we could go with a tree that doesn’t look like it fought a bear and lost.”
Yoongi looks back at you, his dark eyes narrowing in mock offense. “Nah, you’ve got zero vision.”
“Oh, I’ve got plenty of vision,” you retort, stepping closer. “You’re the one who—”
Before you can finish, he shakes a branch, sending a spray of snow directly onto your face.
“Yoongi!” you shout, jumping back and wiping at your eye, careful not to smudge your perfectly drawn eyeliner.
He smirks, unapologetic. “Underdog tree got bite.”
Later, back at your place, the tree you agreed on stands in your living room. When it’s finally lit, glowing softly in the corner of the room, you look over at Yoongi and find him watching you, his face softened by the light.
“What?” you ask, your voice quieter now.
He shrugs, his gaze lingering. “Nothing.”
Your eyes move towards the tinsel and the lights, “Underdog tree does have character.”
“I fuckin’ told you.” He grabs you from behind, excited that you finally saw his vision, and plants several kisses on your cheek.
“This is a terrible idea,” you mutter, gripping the railing like your life depends on it.
“You’ll be fine,” Yoongi says, already gliding onto the ice with an infuriating amount of ease. “Just let go of the railing. You’re overthinking it.”
“Overthinking it?!” you sputter, inching forward like a baby deer learning to walk. “This isn’t natural. People weren’t meant to stand on blades and slide around!”
Yoongi smirks, skating backward so he can face you, his movements smooth and effortless. “Aren’t you the one who’s lived here forever? Shouldn’t you be the pro?”
You shoot him a glare, your knees wobbling. “Skating and living in Seollim Hollow are not the same thing.”
“Sure they aren’t,” he teases, extending a hand toward you. “Come on. I won’t let you fall.”
You eye his outstretched hand with suspicion. “If I fall, I’m taking you with me.”
“Deal.”
Reluctantly, you release your death grip on the railing and grab his hand. The ice feels impossibly slippery beneath your feet, and your balance shifts precariously as you stumble forward.
“Whoa—” Yoongi steadies you, his grip firm. “You really suck at this, still.”
“I told you, ughhhh,” you grumble, trying not to panic as he starts pulling you along.
“You just need to loosen up,” he says, clearly holding back a laugh. “Stop thinking so much.”
“I’m going to die,” you say flatly as your skates skid in opposite directions.
“Not on my watch.”
Yoongi’s hand tightens around yours as he leads you into the center of the rink. Despite your protests, he doesn’t let go, guiding you with patience as you wobble and shriek your way through your first lap. By the time you’ve gone around twice, you’re still far from graceful, but at least you’re no longer clinging to him for dear life. -ish.
“You’re getting the hang of it.”
“No thanks to you,” you retort.
“The fuck?” he says, letting go of you abruptly and you shriek, flailing.
But he captures you effortlessly and spins you around and suddenly you’re hugging in the middle of the rink. You’re still catching your breath when you look up at him, then he leans down and kisses you.
“Is this some kind of fantasy you’re trying to fulfill, Min Yoongi?”
“I’m just trying to make up for lost time.” Then, he leans in again and from the corner of your eye you spot a mom shielding her son from the sight of you and Yoongi, before your eyes flutter shut.
“I forgot you always liked to yap during movies,” Yoongi says, mouth forming a straight line.
“This movie’s so boring,” you reply, gesturing at the screen. “How can you be into this? It’s so… predictable.”
“That’s the point,” he says, leaning back into the couch. “Christmas movies are supposed to be predictable.”
Despite your apprehension, you find yourself sinking deeper into the couch, tolerating the movie and before you know it you’re engrossed with the plot, because, umm, it’s actually so good?!
“Omo! He came back for—” you turn to him and well, he’s fallen asleep, like the bobblehead toy on your car’s dash.
You move his head gently against your shoulder, his breath evening out. For a moment, you consider waking him, but instead, you let yourself relax, leaning slightly into his warmth.
From this view you can see his long lashes, the gentle slope of his nose, the soft curve of his lips and you’re suddenly flooded with emotions that you thought you buried so long ago. Maybe it’s meant to be this time. So you allow yourself to quietly admit it.
“I love you,” you whisper, even though he can’t hear you.
The snow crunches softly beneath your boots as the two of you walk side by side, the cold air nipping at your cheeks. The town is quiet at this hour, the streets lit by the faint glow of holiday lights, and for a while, neither of you says anything.
“I used to hate this,” Yoongi says suddenly, breaking the silence.
“Hate what?”
“Winter,” he replies, shoving his hands into his pockets. “The cold. The snow. I felt… stuck. Like nothing ever changed.”
You glance at him, your breath fogging in the air. “And now?”
He shrugs, his gaze fixed on the snowflakes drifting lazily from the sky. “It doesn’t feel so bad anymore.”
The words are simple, quiet, but they satisfy you in a way you don’t expect.
At some point, Yoongi bends down and scoops up a handful of snow, tossing it lightly at your shoulder.
“Fuck! Did you just—”
“Snowball fight?” he interrupts, smirking.
You retaliate immediately, grabbing snow and throwing it at him with no hesitation. The two of you dissolve into laughter, dodging and weaving through the empty street until you’re both breathless and covered in snow.
“Truce,” Yoongi says, holding up his hands.
“Fine,” you reply, grinning as you catch your breath.
For a moment, you just stand there, the snow falling softly around you. Yoongi’s eyes linger on yours, his expression softer now, and your heart stumbles at the way he looks at you—like he’s trying to memorize this moment.
“Thanks,” he says quietly.
“For what?”
“For this,” he murmurs, gesturing around him. “For reminding me why I came back.”
You and Yoongi fall into an easy rhythm, one that feels almost too good to be true. Mornings at the cultural center turn into afternoons spent working side by side—him scribbling notes onto sheet music while you answer emails and manage ticket sales. Sometimes, you’ll both stop to grab dinner at the little diner down the street or head back to your place where you cook something simple while he steals pieces of food off your cutting board.
Nights are quieter. Softer. When the world feels too still, Yoongi finds his way to your side—whether it’s a late phone call or the two of you under your duvet.
You don’t talk about what happens next. You don’t ask if he’ll stay when the concert is over, and he doesn’t offer to explain.
The night of the concert is perfect.
The performers are brilliant—the children’s choir sings their hearts out, the folk band gets the crowd clapping, and the dancers earn a standing ovation. Yoongi’s arrangements tie everything together seamlessly, each note lifting the room higher and higher until it feels like the entire town is glowing.
Before he goes on stage, Yoongi gives you a mini heart attack. He tells you that he’s playing a different piece. Trust me, he says.
You don’t say much after, because while you don’t like to be blindsided for an important night like this, you also trust his judgment.
And when Yoongi takes the stage, sitting at the piano under the soft glow of the stage lights, you think you might actually cry. He adjusts the mic, shakes his newly dyed black hair, and starts to play. It’s a song you’ve never heard before—something gentle and wistful, the kind of melody that wraps itself around you like a memory. You watch his hands move across the keys, effortless and sure, his expression soft with focus, and you realize you’ve never seen him look more himself than he does in this moment.
Suddenly Jungkook’s angelic vocals slide seamlessly through the melody, “Was it honestly the best…”
For the first time in years, you let yourself hope that the best is yet to come.
When the concert ends and the crowd finally clears, you and your team stay late, cleaning up the venue, storing props, and celebrating quietly with a bottle of champagne Jimin “borrowed” from the local bar. Yoongi stays, too, quietly helping to pack away cables and lights while Jungkook regales the group with exaggerated stories about the night’s performances.
It’s not until the clock hits two in the morning that you’re finally back home, exhausted but still buzzing with the afterglow of the show.
When you wake the next morning, it feels like the entire world is holding its breath. Today is the day. Today, you’ll know if it was enough.
The cultural center feels too quiet as you sit at your desk, staring at the final numbers. Your chest feels tight, the numbers swimming on the page no matter how many times you try to tally them.
You didn’t raise enough. You’re 10 per cent short.
The realization hits like a punch to the gut, and you have to close your eyes for a moment to steady yourself. It’s so close—painfully close—but it’s not enough. And you ran out of time.
You swallow the lump in your throat and grab your coat.
Mr. Choi doesn’t look surprised when you tell him.
“You did good,” he says, though his voice is heavy with finality. “But it’s not enough to match their offer. I’m sorry.”
“There has to be another way,” you insist, the desperation creeping into your voice. “What if I talk to the buyer? What if they’ll accept—”
He sighs, shaking his head. “You can try,” he says reluctantly. “The buyer’s representative is still in town.”
Your heart skips. “Who is it?”
He flips through a file on his desk, his tone casual as he reads the document, “Min Yoongi.”
The room tilts. You stare at him, uncomprehending. “Who?”
“Min Yoongi,” he repeats, glancing up at you. “He’s the representative for the corporation looking to buy the property. I can give you his e-mail address…”
The words hit you like ice water, each one sinking deeper until you can’t breathe. Yoongi.
It doesn’t make sense. How could he—?
Why would he—?
You don’t even remember leaving the municipal office. You don’t remember driving to Yoongi’s house, pounding on the door.
“Yoongi.”
“Hey,” he starts, his expression shifting when he sees your face. “What’s—”
“Don’t,” you cut him off, your voice trembling. “Don’t act like everything’s fine. Just tell me the truth, Yoongi. Were you ever going to tell me you’re the buyer?”
The color drains from his face. “You found out.”
“That’s all you have to say?” you snap, your chest tightening as the hurt spills out of you. “You fucking lied to me, Yoongi. This whole time—why? Why would you let me fight for this place if you were just going to take it away?”
“I wasn’t going to take it away,” he says quickly, his voice strained. “Not anymore.”
You stare at him, disbelief crashing into you. “What does that even mean?”
Yoongi exhales, running a hand through his hair. “It means I didn’t know what this place still meant to you when I came back. I thought it was just another deal. Another property my company wanted to acquire.”
“And when you did know?” Your voice cracks, your anger laced with pain. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
Yoongi hesitates, his hands curling into fists. “Because I didn’t want to ruin everything.”
You laugh bitterly, shaking your head. “Well, congratulations. You ruined it anyway.”
“Stop,” he says softly, reaching out, but you step back. “Let me finish.”
“No.” you say. “This,” gesturing to him and you, “is finished.”
The next few days are a blur of misery. The maknaes try to distract you, but nothing works. Yoongi’s absence feels like a physical thing—an ache that sits heavy in your chest no matter what you do.
The memory of his voice echoes in your mind, soft and broken, but it only makes the pain in your heart worse.
When you hear from his mother that he’s left town, it shouldn’t surprise you. Of course he’s gone. That’s what Yoongi does.
But somehow, it hurts more this time.
Christmas Day comes and goes.
For the first time in forever, you don’t get a post card from Yoongi.
The glow from your phone illuminates the room as the opening chords of Last Christmas begin to play through your Bluetooth speaker. You’re on your bed, surrounded by chaos—crumpled tissues, a mostly empty tub of ice cream balanced precariously on your thigh, and the infamous box of postcards from Yoongi spilled across your sheets.
The postcards feel heavier than they should, each one like a tiny punch to the chest. You pick one up at random—a simple postcard of a Seoul skyline dusted with snow. Yoongi’s neat handwriting is scrawled on the back: Merry Christmas. Hope you’re staying warm.
Snot drips onto the edge of the card, and you yelp, scrambling to wipe it off. “Oh my God, I’ve hit rock bottom,” you groan, tossing the tissue into the general direction of the trash can but missing entirely.
You glance at the box again, and the next card catches your eye. You sniffle harder, and your vision blurs again.
Your eyes land on one of the Polaroids from the box, its edges slightly bent from years of flipping through them. It’s an old selfie Yoongi sent—his mint green hair poking out from under a beanie, but his sharp eyes and stupidly pretty smirk still visible. “I hate you,” you mumble, though the ache in your chest says otherwise.
You grab a Sharpie from your nightstand and draw devil horns sprouting from his head, a dramatic handlebar mustache, and, for good measure, a pitchfork in the corner.
Three sharp knocks sound at the door, startling you. You quickly swipe at your face, sitting up. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Hoseok’s voice calls through the door.
Oh no. You glance at the mess around you—the tissues, the ice cream, the pile of Yoongi memorabilia that screams pathetic. “Go away, Hobi! I’m fine.”
The door creaks open anyway, and Hoseok steps in, his ever-present sunshine energy cutting through the gloom of your room. You forget he knows where the spare key is hidden.
He takes one look at you—puffy eyes, snotty tissues, Wham still crooning in the background—and doesn’t bother to hide his grin. “Wow. This is a whole ass vibe.”
“Shut up,” you mutter, tossing a pillow weakly in his direction.
He catches it easily, stepping further into the room. His eyes fall on the postcards scattered across the bed, and his teasing expression softens. “So it’s true, then.”
You blink. “What’s true?”
Hoseok sets the pillow down and walks over, sitting on the edge of your bed. He doesn’t say anything right away, just glances at the Polaroid still clutched in your hand. “I’m not even gonna ask about that. Yoongi told me what happened.”
Your stomach twists, embarrassment rising like a tidal wave. “Great. Now everyone knows how much of an idiot I am.”
“Hey,” he says gently, nudging your shoulder. “You’re not an idiot. Yoongi’s the idiot.”
That gets a weak laugh out of you, and Hoseok’s smile widens. He leans in, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. It’s so warm, so comforting, that you let yourself melt into it, burying your face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly. “I know how much he means to you.”
You sniffle. “Why do you sound like he’s dead?”
Hoseok laughs, pulling back just enough to look at you. “Because you’re acting like it.”
“Did he send you here?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.
“No,” Hoseok says quickly. “But he… he wants you to hear him out. He messed up, yeah, but…” He glances at the postcards again. “You guys are made for each other. That’s obvious. Even to a third party like me.”
You groan, throwing yourself back onto the bed dramatically. “It’s not that simple, Hobi.”
“Nothing about love is simple,” he says, lying down beside you. His gaze moves to the ceiling as he continues. “And honestly? You two are the most disgustingly in love people I’ve ever seen.”
Your head snaps toward him. “We are not—”
“Oh, really?” Hoseok interrupts, his grin returning. “Because I saw you and Yoongi making out in the middle of the skating rink. Right there. In public. In front of children.”
Your jaw drops. “You what?”
“Yeah. Had to shield my eyes from the sheer amount of PDA,” he teases. “I almost called it in as a public disturbance.”
You can’t help it—you laugh. A real, genuine laugh that feels like it breaks through the heaviness in your chest. “You’re so stupid.”
He glances at the mess on your bed one more time before standing. “Look, I’m not saying you have to forgive him right now. But at least let him explain. You deserve to know the truth.”
He pats your head lightly, like a parent soothing a child. “Now, go wash your face. You look like Mrs. Claus who failed a breathalyzer.”
“That’s a dumb joke!” You chuck a pillow at him again, but this time, you’re laughing as he dodges it and disappears out the door.
For the first time in days, you feel a little lighter.
When Mr. Choi calls you the next morning, you almost don’t pick up.
“The offer’s been retracted,” he says, his voice calm but tinged with disbelief. “The cultural center is safe.”
You blink, stunned. “What?”
“Not only that,” he continues, “but the previous buyer left a donation to help fund renovations. You can expand the center. Improve it.”
Your heart stops. You didn’t need to ask who.
You already know.
It’s New Year’s Eve. You don’t know why today of all days you finally get a grip on your emotions. You figure today is just as good as any other to do something crazy.
You clutch your phone in your hand, Yoongi’s name glaring up at you in your call history, unanswered. You don’t know what you’ll say when you find him, or if he’ll even want to see you, but you have to see him. You have to know why he did this—why he left, why he pulled out of the deal, why he did it all without saying a word.
The hours stretch long and thin, and by the time the bus pulls into the station in Seoul, the city is already blanketed in a soft layer of snow.
The snow falls softly around you as you stand in front of Yoongi’s apartment building (his eomma was more than willing to text the address), your breath clouding in the air. When he opens the door, his eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything—he just steps aside, letting you in.
“I heard what you did,” you say quietly, your voice trembling. “The center’s safe. You even donated to help renovate it.”
Yoongi exhales, his shoulders sagging slightly. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
He looks at you, his dark eyes soft but unsteady, bags underneath it from many a sleepless night. “Because it was the right thing to do. And because I owed it to you—to the town—to make up for leaving the way I did.”
You shake your head, your chest tightening. “You didn’t owe me anything, Yoongi. You could’ve just told me.”
“I know,” he says softly, his voice tinged with regret. “But I didn’t know how to. And I was scared. Scared that if I told you, I’d ruin the one good thing I’ve had in years.”
“Yoongi…”
“I stayed quiet because I thought I could fix it,” he admits, his voice quieter now. “I knew if I told you the truth, you’d hate me. And I didn’t want that—I couldn’t risk losing you again. So I started looking for another way. I’ve been talking to my company, trying to get them to pull out of the deal, to reallocate the funds to save the center instead.”
You blink, his words sinking in slowly. “You… what?”
“I’ve been trying to undo it,” he says, his dark eyes heavy with something you can’t quite name. “I tried to help in whatever way I could, because you—you deserve to win. You deserve to have that place. I just…” He exhales shakily. “I messed up.”
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, confusion swirling in your chest.
He takes a step closer, his gaze steady now. “I’m sorry. For everything—for leaving, for lying, for not trusting you enough to tell you the truth. I just…” He hesitates, his voice faltering.
“You didn’t have to leave,” you say, your voice trembling. “You didn’t have to run. I know I pushed you away when I found out that you were the buyer. But if you told it to me in the first place, I would’ve understood,” you admit, the words catching in your throat. “I would’ve believed you.”
Yoongi watches you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he takes another step forward, close enough now that you can smell the faint musk of his cologne.
“Would you have asked me to stay?” he murmurs.
You swallow hard, unable to look away. “Yes.”
The word hangs between you, suspended in the air, and something in Yoongi’s gaze softens.
“I’m here now,” he says quietly. “I’m not running. I’m not leaving. I don’t want to.”
He reaches up slowly, hesitantly, and brushes a snowflake from your cheek with the back of his knuckles. The touch is light, fleeting, but it sends warmth spreading through you, curling in your chest and settling deep in your bones.
For a moment, neither of you moves. You just stand there, inches apart. And then Yoongi leans in, closing the distance between you, and kisses you. Your lips slide against his, your hands curling into the front of his sweater as the rest of your worries fall away.
When you finally pull back, breathless and trembling, Yoongi rests his forehead lightly against yours, his hands still cradling your face. Before he can lean in again,
“Come home,” you whisper, the word escaping before you can stop it.
Yoongi looks at you with something so raw, so vulnerable, it takes your breath away. “Okay,” he says softly, his voice deep. “If you want me to, I will.”
You nod, your tears spilling over now. “I really do.”
“Good, because I’m out of a job and I need you to fund my unhealthy caffeine addiction.”
“What?”
“It’s ok, I’ve been thinking about it for years anyway.” He shrugs, the faintest hint of a smirk playing at his lips. “I came to Seoul for music, but somehow I got roped into the capitalism I’ve always hated. Moving back feels… right.”
Later, you find yourselves on his rooftop, bundled together under a fleece blanket as the fireworks light up the Han River below. You share his bougie white truffle parmesan & rosemary popcorn (it’s actually good, though) and a bottle of chardonnay. You lean against his shoulder, link your hands together, hearts full of the promise of a new beginning.
You settle in your seat as the bus begins its journey back to Seollim Hollow. Yoongi had to stay behind for a few days to tie up loose ends, but the promise of his return lingers like a heartbeat in your chest.
As the city fades into the distance, your phone buzzes with a new message.
Yoongi: Check your coat pocket
Intrigued, you reach inside, your fingers brushing against something small and stiff. When you pull it out, your breath catches.
It’s a postcard.
His handwriting is as familiar as ever, the letters neat but tilted just slightly to the left. This time, though, the message is different.
Not a simple Merry Christmas.
Not a quick Hope you’re well.
Not some generic line he thought you might want to hear.
This one has only three words.
I love you.
For a moment, all you can do is stare at the card, the edges soft from where it’s been handled. The words feel heavy, monumental, a promise etched onto paper.
You press the postcard to your chest, your eyes stinging as the bus carries you closer to home. Though, when you think about it, home feels like a person you just left in a high-rise in Hannam.
A week later, you find Yoongi standing on your doorstep, that gummy smile you love lighting up his face. His suitcase sits at his side, snowflakes caught in his hair, and he looks at you like you’re the answer to every question he’s ever asked.
“Hi,” he says softly, his voice warm despite the cold.
“Hi,” you say, leaning against the door frame.
And in that moment, you know—this is it. The chance to start over. The start of something real, something you both waited for, something you’ll build up piece by piece.
And finally, you’ll live a life you’ll both love.
Together.
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed my first Holiday fic ever. If it feels extra cheesy and sappy than my other stories, it’s Hallmark-inspired so it needed to be that way. 🙂 As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section. A reblog would also be amazing!
Thank you so much for reading this you lovely, beautiful human xo
And I know it’s already been days since we kicked off 2025, but I hope you have had an amazing start to the year and the rest of the days are filled with love, laughs, and Bangtan! 💜✨
Permanent Taglist (Part 1)
@wonh0oe @hyukaluve @glossdebut @kiki-zb @kookiewithluv
@agustblog @maryhopemei @perfectiondazesworld @kimsaerom @kam9404
@00-sleepdontweep-00 @tea4sykes @mggv97 @marnz1990
@whydoeyecare @pastelmin @tarahardcore @minjenna @chimmchimmm
@aaclariww @mar-lo-pap @tinytan-gerine @vesperbells @butterymin
@eve1633455 @baechugff @lilkittenjenjen @wobblewobble822 @coffeedepressionsoup
@futuristicenemychaos @jadestonedaeho7 @granataepfelchen @whoa-jo @annyeongbitch7
@chimmisbae @sexytholland @idkjustlovingbts @kpophosblog @tinyelfperson
@yoongicatagenda @codeinebelle @parapiop7 @diame93 @janeelizabeth1216
@withmuchluv-tannie @abadiimm @angellekookie
The rest to follow in a reblog.
#yoongi x reader#yoongi fic#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#bts fanfic#yoongi x oc#yoongi x you#myg x reader#myg x y/n#min yoongi x you#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x y/n#suga x y/n#suga x you#suga x reader#yoongi smut#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fanfic#suga fic#suga smut#suga bangtan#bts fanfiction#bts fic#bts x reader#bts smut#yoongi imagines#bts x you#bts x y/n
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Casino outlet employees, too. I stg, the way management sucks so much a lot of the time makes me wanna explode. My outlet has not had a manager from Black Friday to now.
Let me repeat that.
My outlet hasn't had a dedicated manager that actually knew the store since November, leaving other managers (not execs cos none of them know how to do anything in an outlet(not even PoS(Point of Sale))) to try and figure out what we needed, leaving us with skeleton crew schedules and barebones hours to try and just make it work.
That, plus passive-aggressive guests acting like asses waiting for their order from 3 seconds ago glaring like I shot their dog, and some guests literally ordering at the last second when they see someone swamped on a solo shift is why I literally almost tore my face off on New Years. Too many "10 minute before" rushes to count. All of them too much for my wellbeing on one-man closing shifts.
My therapist told me directly to "get a job that's better for your current level of stress." I'm so tired; I can't even draw, anymore. I can't play video games without wanting to cry because every little thing I miss/forget/etc just reminds me of having to Never Fuck Up during solo shifts.
People always gloss over how mentally damaging it can be to work in retail. I fucking hate that whenever I say “I could never work in retail again” someone has to reply “You snowflake millennials can’t take a starter job because you have to INTERACT with other people” No. Fuck you. I’ve worked as a planetarium host. I’ve worked as a public speaker. I’ve worked as a tutor and as a student teacher. I can work with people. I can work with crowds. Retail was fucking different. Retail was being treated as a subhuman. Retail was being treated so poorly that you have anxiety attacks before work. Having to work retail was a factor in my last suicide attempt. If I hear you say one fucking word about retail workers playing the victim I will personally break every bone in your body. Fuck You.
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Hello!
So I know that this is an absolute long shot, but I wanted to share this here anyway in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help me coz I literally just don't know what else to do at this point 🥺🙏
My name is Holly-Jayne but most people call me Daisy, I'm 26 years old and I've been a part of the Phandom for over a decade now like D+P have pretty much always been my most favourite YouTubers and humans in the whole entire universe 💜
I've unfortunately never been able to see them live during any of their tours though as I've just sadly never been able to afford it!
It's always been one of my biggest ever dreams to finally go to one of their shows and maybe even meet them so I can finally thank them personally for everything they've ever done for me 💜
But then late last year I suddenly got very very sick to the point where I became bed bound and wheelchair bound and could no longer eat or drink anything without throwing up and I ended up losing way too much weight to the point where I genuinely looked like a living corpse and I was soooo so tired and in so much pain all the time and I even started struggling to breathe, but then after going through all of this for about 4 months as well as countless doctor appointments, miss-diagnosis including being told it's just anxiety and is all just in my head and also have to stay in hospital got about a week or so, I was very sadly diagnosed with Stage 4 (Terminal) Serous Carcinoma Ovarian Cancer that has spread to multiple areas of my body and I have now also completely lost my fertility because of it 😔💔
I also apparently had over 2 litres worth of fluid on my lungs which is why I was struggling to breathe and could barely even walk up the stairs without my legs just completely giving way.
So I've had to endure 6 very difficult and grueling rounds of Chemo which I actually finished around 2 months ago and I'm now on a targeted treatment that I have to have every 3 weeks for about a year and I also have to take blood thinners every single day for up to 2 years due to a rather big blood clot that they also found on my lung during my 1st round of Chemo!
I also almost died again during my 2md round of Chemo as I had a very bad reaction to it and stopped breathing for a couple of minutes......
We've had quite a few scares which I guess is just my new normal now, but i now as back to normal as I can be with Cancer and I'm very slowly but surely getting my life back together and just trying to live my life as much as I can for as long as I can as even though I'm terminal, I'd like to believe that I'll still be around for many many years to come and D+P have especially helped with his as watching their videos through all of the dark and scary times have always just completely cheered me up and put a smile on my face and they still give me the motivation and determination to fight and stay as strong and healthy as I possibly can be 💜
So yeah, it's probably been the most hardest and most painful year of my life, plus my grandad very sadly and suddenly passed away last October just before all of this happened and then we also very sadly lost my aunt in May of this year after a 16 year long battle with Cancer and my nan was also unfortunately diagnosed with Leukemia around the same time as my own diagnosis, so 2024 just hasn't been kind to us at all!
Soooo so much grief, pain and trauma that we're all still trying to deal with 😔💔
So yeah, when D+P announced the TIT I was absolutely BEYOND happy and excited like yessssss another chance for me to finally go and see them and potentionally meet them if I can get an M&G ticket and finally just something for me to look forward to after this very crappy year!!
But alas, time and luck once again just weren't on our sides as when the tickets were released for both dates we just so happened to be at the hospital for appointments and treatment and they all sold out before I even had a chance to try and buy them 😭💔
So I tried to use one of my wishes to see and meet them instead, but we've unfortunately just found out that the company no longer have any money and can't fulfill people's wishes anymore!!
But the thing is, we submitted the wish absolutely months ago like back when the tickets had just sold out and we never heard back from them at all until now when our macmillan nurse got in touch with them a few days ago, so they never even bothered to tell us which is really annoying and inconvenient because we could have maybe sorted something else out by now, but now we've only got a couple of weeks left and we're just at a complete loss as to what to do as this could literally be my last ever chance!!
Really starting to lose hope over ever getting to see or meet them now and I'm absolutely devastated as we just don't know when or if they'll ever go on tour again and even if they do, who knows if I'll still be here by then or how my health will be!!
I mean I'm always staying as optimistic and hopeful as possible, but we still just never really know......
So yeah, I just wanted to share this in the hopes that someone in the Phandom could maybe help in any way at all??
Idk how or what could be done or anything, but I thought it was worth a shot anyway as I've pretty much got nothing to lose at this point!
I was hoping for Manchester on the 29th btw as that's the only date that I'm able to do.
Thankyou soooo so much for reading all of this if you've actually made it this far, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!
I'm in this Phandom business for life haha 🤣💜 @danielhowell @amazingphil @danandphilupdates @danandphilhq @danandphilnews @danandphilsaltsquad
#dan and phil#danielhowel#phil lester#terrible influence tour#phandom#phan#amazingphil#danisnotonfire#dan and phil games#world tour
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so this is very embarrassing to admit but im a full grown adult now (18), and i moved away from home to start my life over and hopefully transition. but i realized very recently that because of my dysphoria i actually never took anything in during sex ed (which was very bad to begin with) and i know nothing about my body as is. i'm 18 uears old and my body is not just not what i want it to be but i don't even know what steps i'd like to take in making my body my own because i know nothing about the body i currently have.
i dont know how my body works, i dont know what surgeries will do what. i feel so stupid and lost and embarrassed and going to a doctor for this seems even scarier now with the realization i don't know words to describe my parts, i don't know even the most basic of processes. please please please tell me you have resources for me?
if relevant, i'm afab and looking into masculinizing processes. though i'm sure that there's gotta be other folks in different bodies than mine that are just as lost... i just dont know how to start searching without feeling strange and alien. sorry for being rambly, you're just someone i trust to go to with this and i'm very lost.
i'm sorry you've been made to feel this way, but i'm saying this to reassure you:
nobody is a full grown adult at 18!
you literally just became an adult. you're a beginner at it. a "full grown adult" is someone who is 50+. don't let people worry you too much about your age. you're still developing as a person. you're very, very young. what sort of information do you need in specific? what do you need to know about how your body works?
these may help you for the time being:
Transbucket - A website containing information about medical transition including surgeons and reviews, before and after surgery results, cost of surgeries, and more.
TransGuySupply - Chest binders, packers, STP devices, and more.
TopSurgery.net - Website for locating top surgeons.
Underworks - Safe, trusted medical grade chest binders.
What do I need to know about transitioning? (Planned Parenthood)
I Think I Might Be Transgender - A pamphlet for potential/trans youth, with quotes from other trans youth.
r/FtM - reddit support community for transmasculine individuals.
FtM Surgery Overview (Crane Center for Transgender Surgery)
Metoidioplasty Overview (Crane Center for Transgender Surgery)
Phalloplasty Overview (Cleveland Clinic)
Phallo.net - Phalloplasty ExplainedMetoidioplasty.net - Metoidioplasty ExplainedVagina-Preserving Phalloplasty Overview (Phallo.net)
Non Binary Options for Metoidioplasty (Metoidioplasty.net)
More information on vagina-preserving phalloplasties (Queerdoc)
List of informed consent clinics in the United States that provide gender affirming care services.
National Center for Transgender Equality - Find out how to update your name and gender on state and federal IDs and records (United States)
Guidelines for the Primary and Gender-Affirming Care of Transgender and Gender Nonbinary People - UCSF Transgender Care
Rainbow Health Ontario - Social Transition
you can find the above and a lot more on my queer resources page:
if you would like more info on general sex ed, please check out this blog, they post lots of great information:
@certifiedsexed
feel free to come back with more specifics, i'll be happy to help with what i can!
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My Promise to You
s!1 Viktor x Showgirl!reader
A letter Viktor writes to his childhood friend and first love. A reminder that he has not forgotten his promise to save you. It sits unopened in your Madame’s safe, along with the other dozens of letters he sent to you these past seven years.
tags: childhood friends to lovers, love letter, minimal use of Y/N, affectionate czech name, ‘letters? what letters?’ trope, inspired by the Notebook, yearning, Viktor is actually king of yearning,
468 words
A/N: I am currently drafting up a fanfic that is written as letters between you and Viktor. The premise is that he moved to Piltover and you stayed in Zaun as a showgirl at a less than reputable establishment. He promised to take you away and everything he has done has been to come through on that promise. The gag is that the Madame of your club has been withholding the letters you guys write to each other.
I’m just such a big fan of a man who does literally the most for his girl, except you aren’t really his girl you’re his best friend which makes it all 10x more romantic to me. Anyways, here is one of the letters below that I just wanted to share with you all
➽───────────────❥
My dearest Y/N,
It feels strange to write to you again, knowing I might not receive a reply. And yet, I can’t stop myself. Writing to you feels like the only way to keep you close, even when the distance between us seems unbearable. I don’t know if these letters are reaching you, or if you’re reading them, but I hope, somehow, that you can feel the words I send.
It’s been years since I left Zaun, and I can’t help but wonder how much you’ve changed. I imagine you’re as radiant as ever, your spirit as unyielding as the city that raised us. Do you still find the hidden corners of the world to call your own? Do you still climb rooftops to breathe above the chaos below? I often find myself thinking of those times—how simple it all felt, even though it was anything but.
I want you to know that I’ve never stopped working to keep my promise to you. Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve built here in Piltover, has been with that promise in mind. I graduated, Lásko. Top of my class. I’ve even taken a position at the Academy, assisting the Dean. And now… now there’s something new.
It’s called Hextech. A project I’ve been working on with my colleague, Jayce. We’ve discovered a way to harness the arcane and shape it into something tangible—something that can help people. I believe this could be my breakthrough. Our breakthrough. With Hextech, I’ll finally have the means to do what I’ve always wanted: to build a life, a future, where you don’t have to endure the chains that bind you.
I know it’s taken too long. I know I’ve failed you in so many ways. But I need you to know that I haven’t forgotten. I think about you every day, wonder if you’re okay, if you’re happy—or at least as happy as one can be in a place like Kitty’s. I still remember the look in your eyes the last time I saw you, the way you told me not to worry about you.
But I can’t help it, Lásko. I can’t stop worrying.
I hope you’re safe. I hope you’re surrounded by people who remind you of your worth, who see you for who you are—brilliant, kind, and stronger than anyone I’ve ever known. But if you’re not, then please, just hold on a little longer. I’m getting closer. I can feel it.
When the time comes, when I have everything I need, I’ll come back for you. I don’t care how long it takes or what I have to do. You once told me that I was meant for something greater, but you’ve always been my reason for striving.
You once saved me. Now it’s my turn.
Yours always,
Viktor
#viktor x reader#viktor x y/n#arcane#viktor#arcane x reader#bunsie writes#love letter#viktor arcane#gender neutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#viktor x you
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Noah can't believe he is this nervous...
You are waking next to him and talking about your day. He has been waiting for this day for so long and is a mess. When did he decide it was a good idea to invite you for take-out and anime for your first date? What kind of first date is that?
When he opens the door and lets you in, you look around as if taking in the house. He thinks it's cute. You two set the food in the kitchen and you can't help but notice how nervous he is. But you don't say anything. Maybe it's just because it's your first date.
Are you thinking this is weird? Do you want to leave? Maybe you think he's only brought you here because he wants sex. Or perhaps you prefer something different? You wanted to go out to a fancy restaurant, right? Do you even like the food?
"Noah?"
"Mhm?"
"I asked where we are eating"
"Uh... I... Well. Do you want to set a nice table outside? I have candles?" He blushes instantly. This is ridiculous. Now he wants you to set your own table.
"Uh..." You frown and bite your nails. "I thought we were watching something"
"Yeah, we can do that"
It's strange because he sounded excited when he asked you on this date. Like, you were literally talking about the damn show you both like and he said why don't you come over one night so we can watch it together? We can order food. Like a date.
You try to not think much about it and do your best to not make him even more nervous.
You sit together on the floor to eat while watching the show, quietly commenting on what is happening on the screen.
But it's getting worse. He is stiff, and sometimes, it's like he doesn't want to be there. You are so done with it. You wanted to have a good time with a friend of yours you also happen to really like, not sit in awkward silence with him.
"Okay" You leave the sticks on the table and drink some water, then you turn to him and are so serious.
I'm done. He thinks. You are gonna leave and never agree to go out with him to fix this mess he's made.
"What's going on?" You say as you clasp your hands over your lap.
"Uh... He is looking for his broth-"
"No, what is going on with you, Noah?" You say and he swallows.
He is sweating. His face is burning and he feels so small.
"Nothing?"
"Then why the fuck do I feel I'm having dinner with a tree instead of you, huh?"
His eyes are big and he has to hide his hands because he is trembling.
"I'm sorry I dragged you here, you probably wanted something else. I know this is so shitty for a first date. This sounded like the best plan because we both like this and I'm pretty comfortable in my house, but I didn't think of what you wanted for a first date. If I haven't fucked up completely maybe I can make it up to you and take you to some place you like. It's so awkward... I'm really sorry, I didn't want you to think I wanted to bring you here to have sex or something I just..."
He stops abruptly because you are laughing, like genuinely laughing. He is so confused. Has he fucked up this bad? Really? Do you have to laugh on his face?
"Noah... Oh lord" You try to breathe as you fan his face.
"Okay, this wasn't necessary. You could have just declined. This is so rude"
Now it's your time to stop. You cover your mouth.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention... I... Sorry" You grab his hands. "I'm sorry. I was laughing because... I don't want a fancy restaurant, Noah. I was so excited for this. Like... You are the only person I know who enjoys this show" You brush his knuckles with your thumbs and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry for laughing, I thought it was funny because I was really expecting this date"
Noah blinks a couple of times before frowning. "Really? Don't you prefer something else?"
"Noah, I like you a lot. I don't mind where we go... But I really like this because it's just us and something we have in common"
To say he is relieved is already something.
"I thought you were bored or something... Shit..." He finally smiles. "So you don't think this is a shitty date"
"I think this is an awesome date, Noah"
He laughs and looks at you with dreamy eyes and blushy cheeks. He is the cutest, for fucks sake.
"Plus, I wouldn't be so opposed to the sex thing"
"Oh, c'mon... Let me finish my dinner first or something"
You laugh loudly and pull him closer, taking him by surprise with a sweet kiss.
Thank you to @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard for the inspo!!
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Stanford & Stanley Pines NSFW alphabet pt. 2
A/n again, ts is dirty asf so heed this warning
M = Motivation (what turns them on,
gets them going)
Ford: Definitely intelligence. Nothing turns him on more than when you correct or prove him wrong about a topic he thought he knew everything about. Something that if anyone else were to do, he’d be highly annoyed.
Stan: he honestly doesn’t know. The weirdest shit turns him on, like you doing laundry or blow drying your hair, he was told the spontaneous erections would fade with his youth, and that was partly true. But with you, he finds himself just going about his day, and then he is filled with need for you just from witnessing a mundane task.
N = No (something they wouldn't do,
turn offs)
Ford: To be honest, I think he, unfortunately, would reel it in if you called him daddy. He just never identified with that and finds the connotations odd. He’d think about it way too literally.
Stan: do not touch his ass, please. He doesn’t even want to elaborate; if you ask him to, it makes him uncomfortable. You respect this, as there are many other, better things to do with him that he’d enthusiastically jump at. I don’t think he’d mind anal on you, though 😭
O = Oral (preference in giving or
receiving, skill, etc.)
Ford: Oh, brother, don’t get me started. Ford's general preference is to eat you out. He’ll spend a good while doing it, at least 20-30 minutes, building you up so that it's life-changing when you finally come on his face. Though that’s not saying, he’s against your lips around his shaft. It’s one of the only things that will make him really moan loudly.
Stan: Stan will NOT get his face between the legs of a girl he is not dating. He’s gotta know where that thing is going. But when he gets down there, you’re in for it ;) A bit hypocritical again because he doesn’t care where their mouth has been; he’ll take a blowjob within 15 minutes of meeting a woman.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow
and sensual? etc.)
Ford: Slow and steady wins the race, he says. But he’ll do a sprint at the end. The most sensual lay you’ll ever have.
Stan: very rough and speedy with it, rutting into you. You never mind it, though, as he’s good at it. And he always found a way to be romantic despite this.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies,
how often, etc.)
Ford: He makes his schedule and determines that he will take the free time to turn you out. He likes to take his time with you; usually, your foreplay lasts about an hour. He’s up in age, so a little time to get him going does wonders.
Stan: when he was younger, he would go crazy for fucking a girl he’d just met in a state he had just arrived at behind a bar for 10 minutes. And if you’re with him in his younger years, you get your fair share of that energy, trust me. But as he got older, he saw the value in long lovemaking sessions. He took his time with each curve and gave every inch special attention, something he could never do with those quickies. But even in his older years, his soul will leave his body if you quickly ride him while he’s pulled over in the Stan mobile. And he doesn't see that going away.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment?)
Ford: he wants to make you happy and is willing to try anything in the bedroom once. And you will have risky sex if you like it. But he can also place boundaries on what he really can’t be doing. He enjoys vanilla, mundane sex. And doesn’t see the appeal of fucking your lifelong partner in the Greasy’s Diner bathroom.
Stan: Again, he loved to experiment when he was younger, but now he likes to stick to what he knows. Which is a lot. But he also just wants to see you happy, and if it’s sexy, he’ll do it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they
go for? how long do they last?)
Ford: one, but there’s a good amount of foreplay. He likes to make you cum and warm you up before he fills you. And he makes that one round count, making you lose your mind in those 15 intense minutes.
Stan: he can still do at most two if you’re down. But he’ll be winded. If you’re with him when he’s younger, then he’s wild asf, having insane stamina.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use
them? on a partner or themselves?)
Ford: he owns toys. But he prefers to make them and has only bought them to see the technology inside to replicate. When he makes his own, he can personalize precisely what will make you feel good, and he blows your mind every time. There’s a quality in his toys that you can’t get with store-bought ones, and you appreciate this luxury.
Stan: he never really owned toys and doesn’t see the appeal of a vibrator. He says it’s nothing he can’t do with his hands, and you can’t disagree. But if you wanted to experiment with one, he’d gladly oblige.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Ford: he’s very sweet during sex and doesn’t like to hold your pleasure over you head. He just wants to make you feel good and associate him with that. But he’ll jokingly tease you if you’re overly eager, but he won’t hold out.
Stan: he will tease occasionally if he’s not desperate enough, though oftentimes, he is. But he’ll knowingly go painfully slow while removing your clothes and kissing down your body. But he’s just too lazy and needy for you to go past that.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what
sounds they make, etc.)
Ford: I wouldn’t say he’s loud, but he’s a lot quiet. And his noises are closer to soft whimpers and moans than grunts. Though he does occasionally let one of those out
Stan: he is very loud; I imagine a lot of dirty talk. But he groans and grunts like crazy, making it known how good you’re feeling for him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for
the character)
Ford: is constantly making little gadgets to make your life and hobbies easier. He unconsciously observes you because that’s what he does all day and applies that to whatever side project he’s working on
Stan: not even really a headcanon because it’s known this man is STRONG. But he lifts you with no problem and always does it. Like you’ll be doing your own thing, and he’ll lift you off your feet and bring you wherever, usually the bedroom 😉
X = X-ray (let's see what's going on
under those clothes)
Ford: very lean and chiseled from years of combat, and grey hair sprinkled everywhere. I imagine a little happy trail and well-trimmed but a good amount of curly hair around his dick.
Stan: has broad shoulders and a bit of a beer belly. He also has a lot of hair, especially on his chest and down his arms. He probably has unruly pubes but nothing anyone can’t get past.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex
drive?)
Ford: It was higher than he ever knew after he met you. He always was so interested (in the same way he was interested in anomalies and such) in the way couples were seemingly addicted to each other and couldn’t keep their hands off. While he only really thought about sex when he met a nice girl. But once he met you, he understood. He wanted to fuck you day and night and couldn’t get enough.
Stan: very high. He almost devours you when he isn’t able to have you for over 24 hours. It’s almost unnatural for a man of his age to be so sexually driven all the time, but the comments are never-ending. He’s always willing to take you to the bedroom…. Or the shower, or the car, or anywhere
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep
afterwards)
Ford: he doesn’t sleep a lot. So he usually gets you any amenities: tea, coffee, extra blankets, and a cuddle. But he usually likes to admire you sleeping naked on the sheets.
Stan: right after. Like a light. After he comes, he rolls over and maybe has the rest of his beer or a cigarette. But he usually pulls you onto his chest and knocks right out.
A/n lol I tried to make this one quickly so enjoy
#fandom#gravity falls#joyceyayo#fanfiction#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls ford#gravity falls imagine#grunkle stan#stan pines x reader#stanley pines gravity falls#gravity falls stan pines#grunkle stan x reader#gravity falls stanley#standford pines#stan pines#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#stanley pines#stanford pines x you#stanford pines imagines#stanford pines gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#gravity falls show#gravity falls fanfiction#stanford pines x reader#stanford x reader#gravity falls headcanons#fanfic#stan pines x you#stanley pines x you
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OK OK HEAR ME OUT NOW
can i pls request your thoughts/little prompt or blurb or wtvr on this idrc i just want to know your thoughts cuz you are so !!!
mean!dom!reader gagging sub!jj with your wet panties AND THEN making him and sub!rafe have the most desperate and pathetic makeout session while the panties are kept in jj’s mouth! and they are rutting against each other and jj is crying from pleasure and rafe is so needy the he’s now practically humping jj. but if either one of them stops kissing they aren’t allowed to cum and since they are both such good boys they don’t take their lips off of each other and the gag doesn’t fall out but it leads to them both getting very very overstimulated ☺️ ☺️ and you’re literally like recording
JESUS FUCK.. i’m hearing you out and i’m soooo normal about this (i’m losing my mind!)
CW: smut! 18+ only! mxm, sub!rafe, sub!jj, mean!dom!reader, reader records this interaction, gagging, praise.
the sight before you was unlike anything you’d ever seen. you’d always pushed both men to do whatever you wanted, and them being the good boys they were, they did anything you wanted. you sit back lazily in a chair, phone in your hands as you recorded rafe and jj.
“you’re doing so good for me boys, making mama so proud.”
jj whimpers against rafe’s lips, the sloppy sounds of them kissing and their heavy breathing filling the room. rafe lets out a low grunt, while jj whimpers pathetically, gagging and coughing around the soaked panties you’d stuffed in his mouth just minutes ago.
you stand from the chair you’re in, moving toward your mattress and holding the phones camera closer to their faces, capturing the way your panties fill jj’s mouth, the way their lips move fervently against each other, desperately grinding their clothed dicks together as they whimper and moan for you.
“fuck, you both look so hot like this… so pathetic and needy, you’d both do anything to please me, right?” you whisper, moving toward the middle of your mattress, your phone landing on their hips, zooming in on how desperately they both rut against each other.
“awww, you’re both so fucking hard, i bet you wanna cum huh?” you tease, running your nails up the length of rafe’s back. a shiver runs down rafe’s spine, but he never breaks his lips from jj’s, wanting nothing more than to make you happy and be able to cum.
tears stream down jj’s face, your panties choking him up, the way rafe’s body is pressed into him making it nearly impossible to breathe. you laugh softly, moving back up to their heads, reaching out a hand and swiping away the tears that had fallen down jj’s cheeks. “does it hurt, j? hmm? does my good boy need to cum?”
jj mumbles something through his gag, and you just laugh at his attempt at talking. “oops, didn’t quite catch that, can you repeat yourself?”
rafe and jj both sigh, never breaking their lips from one another. they continue to shamelessly rut into one another, only stopping when they feel their orgasm coming on. they knew better than to cum without your permission.
“you’re doing so good f’me boys, keep it up and i just might let you cum.”
and you stuck true to your word, finally allowing them release after hours of toying with them. they’d earned it though, proving to you that they would listen and do anything you asked, because they loved nothing more than pleasing you.
okay okay, this is my first time writing TRUE mxm… so please be kind 😭 i loved this fucking concept though!
#₊˚ෆ answered#₊˚ෆ anon asks#rafe x reader x jj concepts#sub!jj#sub!rafe#mean!dom!reader#rafe cameron smut#jj maybank smut#rafe cameron#jj maybank#holy fuck i’m so normal abt this#i swear!
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You think you have seen long reblogs pffffft, well you have not seen mine *cracks knuckles*
*clears throat* so. Where to start… first of all, i have like a whole ahh list of all my favorite parts, so buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one. — NOT EVEN A FULL 300 WORDS IN AND I’M ALREADY HIGHLIGHTING STUFF; “I would rather rule with my heart than sell it to the highest bidder.” i’m sorry but this sentence is just so powerful, i hardly have words to describe it with. Which is one thing i really really like about this fic, she keeps on choosing her heart every single time. She didn’t waver once, which in my opinion, gets annoying when the mc kinda strays back and forth, should i..should i not.. Yada yada. NO. this woman knew what she wanted from the get go and she was not afraid to show it. “You’re going to ruin me, princess,” he said softly. “Then let me ruin you,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. Another great example of my previous words.
Matter of fact, that whole scene got me choked up. “That love isn’t a curse,Yeonjun,” you said, leaning forward. “It’s a gift. Even if it’s fleeting, even if it’s painful when it’s gone, it’s still worth having.” I AM GAGGED, GRABBED BY THE THROAT. Idk, she just had such a beautiful way of seeing things throughout the entire fic, i will not ever get over it i fear. Not to mention this; He froze, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t know me. “Then tell me,” you said, your voice softening. “Tell me about your life. Let me understand.” i love how she literally peels back his layers and gets him to open up in such a comforting and safe way.
“You look like you wandered out of a ball. Did you lose your way to the dance floor?” oh yes i giggled at this btw hehehe
Onto something very important, their letter exchanges. OH MY GODDDD. I’m sorry i’m very sappy and reading those letters was actually clawing at my fragile heart. The way you can feel the yearning within their words, i’m gonna spiral, it also gave me inspiration for a fic, COUGH moving on. Every day feels longer than the last without you here. I thought I was a man who had learned to live without hope, but you’ve made me realize how much I’ve missed it. The woods are quiet now, but I hear your laugh in the wind and feel your presence in every shadow. BUT I HEAR YOUR LAUGH IN THE WIND AND FEEL YOUR PRESENCE IN EVERY SHADOW OH SHAKESPEARE IS QUAKING IN HIS MFING GRAVE RIGHT NOW. it’s the way yeonjun describers her with such love and adoration i am literally so fucking weak i could cry a whole river.
Their relationship just felt so raw, i can’t explain it, but it was like they both needed each other in the most pure and desperate form ever. Yeonjun losing his family and reader never having one at all, the way they’re just so drawn to each other without being able to refrain from keeping away. I am weak. — and let’s not even talk about how fucking fine archer yeonjun is because what the actual fuck, He reaches for another arrow, the muscles in his arms flexing under the thin fabric of his shirt. BOM SHAKALAKA YES GAWD YES GAWD, GIMME THAT GIMME THAT.
The brief beomgyu cameo gave me literal life, i will claw at anything that is beomgyu for as long as i live. Imagine a little nerd with fat glasses whose special interest gets even slightly mentioned, that’s me when beomgyu, excitedly jumping up and down n kicking my feet as i giggle hysterically.
"Tell me you mean it," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Tell me this isn’t just a dream." You didn’t care if you sounded silly and childish. This was the equivalent to whispering pinch me i’m dreaming but it didn't matter, you needed to hear it. His hands came up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that clung to your skin. "It’s real," he murmured. "I promise you, it’s real." And then his lips were on yours. …. Gonna leave this here for you all to ponder.
Oh rae. rae, rae, rae, rae… you knew this part was coming. kai kamal huening. What do you honestly wish of me? Because if it is to actively plot my soon-to-be self homicide attempt you have done it. — he’s so sweet, and just a baby, and he’s doing everything he can to take care of his family. Kai nodded slowly, his youthful energy appearing once more. "I won’t let my family down. I’ll keep practicing, and I’ll take care of them." BABY YOU’RE GONNA DIE DON’T MAKE PLANS FOR THE FUTURE. Sigh, but The sunshine x grumpy with him and yeonjun, kills myself… “I know they died..” Kai said, surprising Yeonjun. “I’m sorry. I can be your family now.” OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE THROW YOURSELF OFF A CLIFF.
What hurt even more was that i KNEW that he was dying. Each fucking scene was like knifes to my chest. Imagine me on the street, wounded and slowly bleeding out, rain pours over me, covering me whole and making me shiver as i take my last dying breath. AND YOU RAE, you step on my outstretched hand. That’s what i felt when you killed him off.
AND YOU JUST KEPT STABBING ME. as if brutally murdering me wasn't already enough. “Your little messenger screamed your name the whole time. Begged us to let him go. Begged for you to save him.” you know i almost stopped reading here… but then i was like, “nah lemme actually put my big girl pants on and get through this” only for you to drop THIS: “The boy cried for you, you know. Right up until the end.”
Hah. well. Fuck you then.
But as my final point i want to highlight how much i love yeonjun and mcs relationship, their fucking passion for each other. As if the letters, the yearning and the longing wasn’t enough. "Let them try. I won’t let them take you from me." YES BABY I’M THROWING UP AND CRYING BUT YES YE SYES YES. heh.
BUT LOW AND BEHOLD GUYS. now she’s trying to bandage my bleeding wounds by ending it like this; “This place was never really mine,” he said, his voice low. “It was always meant for someone else.”
She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently. “Then let’s find something that is ours.” (it worked, fuck you rae)
In all the fic was so flowy and easy to read, it immersed you perfectly in the plot and stuck to an interesting and eventful storyline, nothing felt out of place or rushed, everything was just magnificent, even if it stung like a bitchhh.
Giving this a 5/5 of goodreads, and um, this is two pages long on a doc.
A KISS FOR THE CURSED - ,, ୧ ‧₊˚ c.yj
》 In a kingdom of stone and gold, there lived a princess with hair as pink as the dawn. Her heart, though draped in royal jewels, was heavy with the weight of expectation, for the king and queen demanded she find a husband worthy of her title. The castle’s walls pressed close, and her spirit yearned for freedom, for something beyond the cold, glittering halls.
One day, when the pressure became too great, she slipped away from the castle and wandered into the woods, seeking solace in its quiet embrace. It was there, among the trees, that she met him—a boy, no older than she, with eyes like the forest and a bow slung over his shoulder. He was a hunter, living in a humble cabin, selling the fruits of his labor to those who passed by. But in the way he moved, so graceful and wild, the princess saw something more—a soul untainted by the constraints of royalty....
》 𝔱𝔵𝔱 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 & 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢…
pairings » archer!yeonjun x princess!reader
𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 » smut » royal au » forbidden romance »
warnings » smut, loss of virginity, fingering, oral (f) receiving, angst, longing, forbidden romance, yeonjun hunts animals, reader has pink hair, very heavily inspired by the 'once upon a broken heart' series by Stephanie garber, major character death, kai is seventeen in this, also featuring beomgyu briefly, blood, beatings, dungeons, toxic parents, royal hierarchy, a bit of grumpy x sunshine, readers pov is 2nd person "You" yeonjun's pov is 3rd person "He" a lot is in yeonjun's pov though, yeonjun has a noticeable scar on his eyebrow (for the plot), kind of love at first sight, this is not slow burn sorry, there is a disease called "The fever"
« 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔶𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱 »
word count « 24K »
The golden glow of a single candle bathes your chambers, its light dancing across the silk-draped walls. You sit at your vanity, brushing your hair with slow, deliberate strokes. The polished wood of the brush feels cool in your hand, a small comfort against the storm brewing inside you. Behind you, there’s the soft rustle of skirts, a sound that sets your nerves on edge even before she speaks. “Darling,” your mother begins, her voice sweet, almost sing-song as she opens your door without so much as a knock. “You’re twenty now. A woman grown. You can’t keep hiding behind those books and tapestries forever.” She glides across the room and perches on the edge of your bed, her posture as poised and deliberate as her words.
“I’m not hiding, Mother,” you reply without turning to face her. Your reflection catches hers in the mirror—a study in contrasts. You, unadorned and weary. Her, perfect and poised, a mask of maternal care that you’ve come to mistrust. She was not the sweet doting mother she pretends to be, and you felt her icy-ness as soon as she neared you.
“Of course not,” she says with a light laugh, the sound brushing away your words as though they were a child’s excuse. “But it’s time you thought seriously about your future. The kingdom needs alliances and a good match could secure that.”
You place the brush down with deliberate care and turn to face her. “And what if I don’t love any of these ‘good matches’? Am I to bind myself to someone who sees me as nothing more than a means to an end?” You had grown tired of this same conversation. One you've had a million times over with her and your father.
She sighs, and for a moment, the warmth in her voice almost feels real. Almost. “Oh, my sweet girl, love is a luxury we can’t always afford. Your father and I—” She pauses, her hand drifting to her heart as if recalling a fond memory. “We grew to love each other over time. You’ll see. Love often follows where duty leads.” You narrow your eyes, searching her face for cracks in the mask. “Did it? Did love really follow, or did you simply learn to endure it?”
Her expression wavers—just for a heartbeat—but it’s enough. The softness in her eyes hardens, and when she stands, it’s with a grace that feels more commanding than comforting. “Don’t let childish notions blind you” she says, her tone sharper now. “The world isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a harsh, unyielding place, and one day, you’ll rule it. You must start preparing for that now.”
Your throat tightens, but you manage to keep your voice steady. “I would rather rule with my heart than sell it to the highest bidder.”
Her lips curl into a smile, and she steps closer, cupping your cheek in her hand. The gesture is tender, but her eyes betray her—calculating, assessing. “You’ll understand someday, my love,” she murmurs. “And when you do, you’ll thank me for guiding you.” You pull away, your skin burning where her hand had rested. She lingers for a moment longer, her presence suffocating even in its quietness. Then, with a swish of her skirts, she moves to the door. The click of it closing echoes in the silence she leaves behind. You stare at your reflection, your chest heaving with unshed tears and unsaid words. The candlelight catches the glint of defiance in your eyes, and in that moment, you vow that no one—not even your mother—will decide your future for you.
You had never snuck out of the castle before. The thought had scared you enough that you hadn’t ever dared to attempt it, but tonight you felt you had to. The suffocating four walls of your chambers had felt so overbearing that the thought of another second in them would cause the end of your life. You had to escape, even if only for a few hours at least. You needed fresh air. To feel the wind in your hair, smell the trees and feel the grass between your fingertips.
You rarely get that these days, with all the preparations of finding you a husband and shipping you off to some unknown country with a man that was to be your husband and yet a stranger at the same time. You couldn't handle it anymore. You grabbed your cloak and made quick work on sneaking out.
The castle sleeps. Its towering spires stretch into the star-speckled sky, dark against the moonlight. You slip from your chambers, the soft soles of your boots muffling each step on the cold stone floor. The velvet cloak swirls around your ankles, its deep green fabric blending into the shadows as you descend the servant's staircase. Your heart races, but not from fear. It's the exhilaration of escape, of leaving behind the suffocating weight of expectations.
The conversation you and your mother had not even an hour ago swimming in your mind. The words of your father this morning echoing in your head like a cacophony "This lord has lands to the west," they said. "That one commands an army. It’s time to secure your future.” You grit your teeth at the thought, gripping the edge of your cloak tighter. They don’t understand. Marriage isn’t what frightens you—it’s the thought of marrying someone who sees you as a pawn, not a person. You couldn't bring yourself to have a marriage like your mother and fathers. A marriage that lacked authenticity, lacked real love. You refused it. Rebuked it.
The air is cooler as you reach the garden gate, slipping through the narrow gap you discovered years ago. The guards won’t check here; they never do. Beyond the walls lies freedom, the forest calling to you like an old friend. The scent of damp earth and pine greets you as you step into the woods. The moon guides your path, its light filtering through the canopy. You keep your pace quick but quiet. You had a general idea of the outlands of the castle from all of your lessons. You needed to know how to get out of the castle in case of an attack. You were sure that your teachers didn't know you'd be using the information they taught you to sneak out, but here you were.
The forest feels alive tonight. Crickets chirp in the underbrush, and a gentle breeze stirs the leaves above. Each step takes you further from the castle, from the expectations, from the stifling weight of duty. You keep your steps light trying your best to make as little as sound as possible. You couldn't risk being caught. Then you hear it, a faint thwack ahead, the unmistakable sound of an arrow striking wood. You freeze, heart leaping into your throat. Slowly, carefully, you edge closer, stepping around a patch of dry leaves to avoid making a sound. Peeking around a thick oak, you see him. A man unfamiliar to you. He stands in the clearing, tall and strong, his silhouette framed by moonlight. A bow is in his hands, an arrow already knocked. His movements are fluid, deliberate, as if every motion is a part of a dance. The arrow flies, and your breath catches as it strikes dead center on the straw target.
He’s beautiful. The moon shines just enough through the branches of the trees above him creating a halo like light over his head and face. You should turn back. You know this. You should retrace your steps and leave before he notices you. But you don’t. Something about him holds you in place. His focus, the grace in his movements, the quiet strength in the way he adjusts his stance. He’s close to your age, maybe a year or two older, with dark hair that curls at the nape of his neck. He’s the most handsome man you have ever laid your eyes on. And by far the most graceful.
He reaches for another arrow, the muscles in his arms flexing under the thin fabric of his shirt. You crouch lower behind the tree, your cloak pooling around you. The thrill of sneaking out has faded into something else—something warmer, something unfamiliar. You had never had the privilege of just watching a man so..closely like this. You weren't even allowed to be around a man without a chaperone. You tell yourself you’re just curious. It’s not often you meet someone out here in the woods. But as you watch him, you realize it’s more than that. He’s unlike anyone you’ve ever seen before.
He has no idea you’re here. And for now, you’re content to watch, hidden in the shadows of the trees, as he draws and releases, each arrow flying true. The world feels smaller at this moment. The castle and its demands are miles away, and the only thing that exists is you, the moonlit forest, and the archer practicing under the stars. You watch for only a breath longer before the stillness breaks under your foot. A dry leaf, hidden beneath the forest loam, crumples with a loud crack that seems to echo in the night. The archer freezes. His body tenses as he pivots toward you, bow raised, an arrow drawn in a heartbeat. The sudden movement sends a jolt of panic through you, and you instinctively step back, pressing against the rough bark of the tree.
“Who’s there?” His voice is sharp, low, and commanding. The moonlight glints off his eyes—hard and narrowed, scanning the shadows where you’re hidden. You hold your breath, heart hammering in your chest. For a moment, you consider fleeing, but before you can move, he spots you. “Show yourself,” he demands, the arrow steady in his grip.
Slowly, you step out from behind the tree, your hands raised in a gesture of surrender. The cloak’s hood still shrouds your face, but the moonlight catches the strands of pink hair peeking out. His gaze sharpens, and you see his brow furrow as he lowers the bow slightly. “a girl?” His voice softens but only slightly, his tone still laced with suspicion. He lowers the bow completely but doesn’t relax, his eyes studying you intently. “What are you doing out here, creeping around like that?”
You swallow, suddenly acutely aware of how small you feel under his piercing gaze. “I wasn’t creeping,” you say, your voice soft but steady. “I was… walking. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Walking,” he repeats, his tone flat and disbelieving. He glances at your cloak, the fine embroidery glinting faintly in the moonlight. “In the middle of the night. Alone. Right.” He snorts, shaking his head as if the very idea is absurd. “Who are you?” His demeanor startled you, not expecting such a graceful man to sound so..rough.
You hesitate. You’re not ready to give your name—or your title. “No one important.” If he knew you were the princess there was no guessing what he would do. Turn you in? Kidnap you? Hold you for ransom, it was unknown but you'd rather not find out.
He arches an eyebrow, unimpressed. “No one important who sneaks through the woods and watches people like a ghost.”
Heat rises to your cheeks, both from embarrassment and indignation. “I wasn’t watching you—well, not on purpose. I heard something, and I… got curious.” You couldn't explain to him that you didn't get out much, he would ask too many questions. You'd rather have him think you a dumb naive girl then a sheltered princess.
His expression softens, but only slightly. He seems to accept your answer, though he doesn’t seem thrilled about it. “Curiosity gets people into trouble. Especially out here.” You should feel insulted by his gruffness, but instead, you find yourself intrigued. There’s something captivating about the way he carries himself, the guarded way he speaks. He’s not like the polished, over-rehearsed lords who populate the castle halls. He’s… real. It was as perplexing as it was scary, how little knowledge you had of the common folk, how little you saw them. He was beautiful like a prince, even more than most but something about him felt unpolished and you admired that.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant. But you can’t help the way your eyes linger on him, tracing the sharp angles of his face, the way the moonlight highlights his dark hair. He’s beautiful in a way that feels almost unfair, though his scowl adds an edge to it, like he’s carved from stone. He notices your lingering gaze and narrows his eyes. “What?” How he wasn’t more concerned by a random girl creeping on him in the middle of the night had struck you.
“Nothing,” you say quickly, pulling your cloak tighter around you. “I just… I’ve never seen anyone shoot like that before.” Which was the truth. You had never seen the guards in true action, you had only seen them practicing and even then they were nowhere near as precise as this man was.
His scowl deepens, though a faint hint of surprise flickers in his expression. “You were watching me.”
Your cheeks flush again, and you look away, hoping the shadows hide your embarrassment. “Only for a moment. You’re… good.”
For the first time, he seems caught off guard. He looks at you as if trying to figure you out, then sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, whoever you are, it’s late, and you shouldn’t be out here. Go home.” You hated the way he spoke to you, like you were a useless pesky object in his way. Like everyone around you spoke to you.
His tone is dismissive, but you don’t move. Instead, you tilt your head, studying him. “Why are you out here, then?”
He hesitates, his jaw tightening. “That’s none of your business.”
“And me being here is none of yours,” you counter, surprising yourself with your boldness. You had never talked back to anyone before. Partly in fear of what your mother and father would do to you as a punishment. For a moment, he just stares at you, his eyes catching the moonlight.
“You’re stubborn,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“And you’re grumpy,” you reply, the words slipping out before you can stop them.
“Suit yourself. Just don’t get in my way.” He says with a snark, dismissing you completely. As he turns back to his target, knocking another arrow, you find yourself smiling beneath your hood. For the first time in days, you feel alive—caught in the strange, thrilling pull of the forest, the night, and the boy who doesn’t know who you are. It was hopelessly refreshing, having someone to banter with. He hadn't known you were the princess. All expectations of respectfully boring conversation were not needed here, you felt normal.
You don’t leave. Something about him keeps you rooted to the spot. Maybe it’s his impenetrable demeanor, so unlike anyone you’ve met before. Or maybe it’s the way he seems utterly unconcerned by you, as though you’re not worth the effort of a proper scolding. Either way, instead of retreating, you take a few cautious steps closer. “What are you still doing here?” he asks without looking back, his voice carrying a rough edge. He draws another arrow and lets it fly. Thwack. It lands squarely in the center of the target. You swear you could have drooled at the sight alone. You were just a girl after all.
“I told you—I was walking,” you say, folding your arms beneath the cloak.
“In the middle of the night. In that?” He gestures vaguely toward you without turning. Your cloak shifts as you glance down at yourself. The hem of your pink dress peeks out, delicate and impractical. The sight of it makes you wince. It’s not exactly what you’d have chosen for sneaking into the woods, but there hadn’t been time to change. You had very minimal time before the confines of your bedroom swallowed you whole.
“Yes, this,” you reply, tilting your chin. “Not all of us plan our wardrobe for forest excursions.”
That earns you a glance over his shoulder. His eyes rake over you, lingering just long enough to make you self-conscious. Then he snorts. “You look like you wandered out of a ball. Did you lose your way to the dance floor?” Your spine straightens at his words. He didn’t know..did he?
Your cheeks burn. “For your information, I didn’t plan to be out here tonight.” You try your best to avert the subject, avoiding all talk of balls and princess-like duties.
“Oh, clearly,” he mutters, turning back to his bow. “Because you definitely blend right in.”
You roll your eyes, stepping closer again. “Are you always this charming, or am I just lucky?” Your lips purse suppressing your smile. That gets his attention. He pauses mid-draw and glances at you, one eyebrow raised. For a moment, you think you’ve caught him off guard, but then his lips twitch in what might be the ghost of a smirk. “Lucky,” he says dryly, before loosing the arrow. Another perfect shot.
You shake your head, exasperated but oddly entertained. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re nosy,” he counters, retrieving another arrow.
“I don't get out much.” You say with a lift of your shoulders.
“Clearly.” He deadpanned. “What’s your excuse for being out here, anyway? Fancy dresses and all?”
The question catches you off guard. You hesitate, pulling your cloak tighter. “I needed to get away.”
“From what?” he asks, his tone skeptical.
You glance at the ground, then back up at him. His eyes are on you now, not the target, and you feel a strange urge to tell the truth. Not all of it, but enough. “Look who's being nosey now.” He snorts as you continue “My parents,” you admit softly. “They’re… overbearing.”
He snorts. “Overbearing parents? Shocking.”
You narrow your eyes. “I’m serious. They’ve been pressuring me nonstop, telling me who I should be, what I should want. It’s—” You trail off, shaking your head. “It’s exhausting.”
For a moment, he just looks at you, the teasing edge in his expression fading. “So, what? You ran off to the woods to escape their nagging?”
“Something like that,” you say, lifting your chin. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
He huffed a laugh and leaned against his bow. “Fair enough. But sneaking into the woods wearing that dress?” He gestures again at the hem of your gown. “Bold choice.”
“Do you ever stop criticizing people?” you shoot back, though there’s no real venom in your words.
“Not when they make it this easy.” His smirk returns, faint but noticeable.
You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling beneath your hood. “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not leaving.”
“Suit yourself,” he mutters, turning back to his target. “Just don’t expect me to babysit you if you trip over your fancy shoes.”
You bite back a retort and instead settle against a tree to watch him. He doesn’t seem to mind—though he throws the occasional glance your way, as if checking to make sure you haven’t disappeared or done something foolish. The silence stretches, broken only by the soft rustle of leaves and the rhythmic thwack of his arrows. It’s strangely comforting, this moment shared with a stranger in the middle of the woods. For the first time in weeks, the weight of the crown on your head feels a little lighter.
You watch as he moves with practiced ease, drawing and releasing arrow after arrow. The steady rhythm of his practice feels like the heartbeat of the forest, grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you needed. For a moment, you close your eyes, letting the quiet wash over you. The weight of the day—the endless parade of suitors, the sharp-edged words of your parents, the suffocating walls of the castle—feels distant now, almost unreal. Out here, under the stars, you’re not the princess with a duty to marry for the good of the kingdom. You’re just… you.
The thought stirs something bittersweet in your chest. You know this moment can’t last. Sooner or later, you’ll have to return to the castle, to the expectations and the responsibilities. This fleeting sense of freedom, of solace, will be nothing but a memory. You open your eyes again, focusing on him. He’s still at it, firing arrow after arrow with a precision that’s almost mesmerizing. There’s a quiet determination in the way he moves, as though this practice is more than a simple pastime. It feels like a ritual, a way of carving out his own space in the world. He moved like he was meant to be there, like the act of archery was engraved into his soul.
For a brief, foolish moment, you wonder what it would be like to stay. To slip away from the castle every night, to watch him practice and trade sharp words under the moonlight. But you shake the thought away. It’s impossible. Still, you linger. You don’t want to leave just yet—not while the night still feels alive around you, not while you can still breathe without the weight of the crown pressing down.
Silently, you push away from the tree and step back into the shadows. The forest seems quieter now, as though it knows you’re leaving. You glance back once, catching the faint glint of his bow in the moonlight, the outline of his form as he lines up another shot. You slip away before he can notice, retracing your steps through the woods and back toward the castle. The chill of the night air clings to you, and the weight of reality begins to settle back onto your shoulders with each step closer to the towering walls.
By the time you slip through the garden gate, the spell is broken. The castle looms ahead, its windows dark and silent, the very air around it heavy with expectations. But for a few precious hours, you had tasted something different—something real. And as you climb the servant’s staircase back to your chambers, you can’t help but wonder if you’ll ever see him again.
The morning sun filters through the stained-glass windows of the dining hall, casting jeweled patterns onto the long oak table. You sit in your usual seat, the one that feels more like a throne than a chair, the weight of your parents’ presence pressing down on you like the crown you don’t yet wear. Breakfast is a quiet affair, at least for you. The clink of silverware and the murmurs of servants fill the space as your father, The king mutters about political alliances to your mother, The Queen. His deep voice carries a sharp edge, his words precise and biting, even when directed at your mother. You keep your head down, focused on the food sitting in front of you.
You barely hear him call your name. Your thoughts are elsewhere—lost in the forest, in the soft rustle of leaves and the quiet thwack of an arrow hitting its mark. You see the archer in your mind’s eye, his focused gaze, the smooth movement of his hands as he loosed each shot. “Are you listening?” your father snaps, his voice cutting through your reverie like a whip.
You blink, startled, and glance up at him. His dark eyes are cold and unforgiving, his thick brows drawn into a scowl. “Yes, Father,” you lie, though you have no idea what he just said. Trying to gather yourself. Your father was a very angry man, even more so when you were being disobedient.
He doesn’t believe you—he never does—but he waves it off, taking another bite of bread. “Good. Then you understand how important this ball is.”
The word ball yanks you out of your thoughts entirely. You sit up straighter, your heart sinking. “A ball?” You narrowly avoided most balls claiming to be sick, or having your nursemaid lie and say you had lessons very early in the morning. Not like your parents knew you were lying, they rarely kept track of those things, only that they were being done.
“Yes,” your mother says, her voice softer but no less resolute. She looks at you with the faintest trace of pity, but it does little to soothe the knot forming in your chest. “It’s time for you to meet suitors. Proper ones. The lords of the neighboring countries will all be in attendance.”
You shake your head, your fingers tightening around the silver spoon in your hand. “I don’t want a ball. I don’t want suitors.” You regretted the words as soon as they left your lips. Any defiance to your father was a grave mistake, one you were sure you’d regret shortly here.
Your father slams his goblet onto the table, making you flinch. “You don’t get to decide what you want,” he growls. “You have a duty to this kingdom, girl. Do you think your whims matter when alliances are at stake?” His words shake you. You knew how he felt but hearing him say it didn't make the blow any less hurtful. It brought you back to the quiet nights you spent curled into a ball on your bed at eight years old wondering why your daddy didn't love you like the other daddies did, why was yours so mean.
You lower your gaze to your plate, your stomach twisting. The archer’s face flickers in your mind again, unbidden. You wonder what he would say if he saw you like this, cowed under your father’s fury. The pink hue of your long hair covering your face shielding you from your embarrassment. “You’ll go to your dress fitting after breakfast,” your mother adds, her tone brisk as though she’s trying to smooth over the tension. “Nursemaid Kora will take you. Everything must be perfect.”
Perfect. The word feels like shackles on your wrists.
“Do you understand?” your father demands.
“Yes,” you say quietly, though the word feels like ash on your tongue. The king grunts, satisfied, and turns back to his food. The rest of breakfast passes in strained silence, broken only by the occasional murmur of servants or the scrape of knives on plates. Your thoughts were loud as they rattled around in your head.
Oh how did you long for a normal life, with a normal family and parents who loved you. You glance toward the far end of the room, where the king’s guard stands like statues, their polished armor gleaming faintly in the morning light. Their presence is a constant reminder of the cage you live in—one gilded and grand, but a cage nonetheless.
Your mind drifts again, this time to the forest, to the sense of freedom you’d felt beneath the trees. To the archer, with his sharp gaze and quiet strength. You wonder if he’s out there now, practicing his craft in the clearing. Does he think about you at all? Did he even notice the way you lingered last night? You thought of his beautiful face and the way the moonlight caught it just right.
Foolishly you thought of a life with him. One filled with love and light, one that you had only conjured in your mind. It was unattainable and you were sure you would never see him again but still the thought loosened your bones and slowled the rapid beating of your heart. You didn't even know his name, and he yours but still you daydreamed the way he would whisper it, into the woods and into wind all the way until it reached you. It would engulf you, swirling around your being and reaching your heart.
Your mother calls your name with a softness that only you knew was faux. “Come.” She says rising from her seat. “Kora is waiting.” You nod numbly and stand, your pink dress swishing around your legs as you follow her out of the dining hall. But your heart stays behind, tangled somewhere between the memory of the archer’s steady hands and the ache of knowing you’ll likely never see him again.
The village square bustled with life, though as always, it seemed to pulse around him, not with him. Yeonjun stood near the edge of the market, his wares laid out neatly on a rough-hewn table: freshly skinned rabbit pelts, bundles of dried herbs, and slabs of venison wrapped in cloth. He adjusted the placement of the furs, not because they needed straightening, but because it gave him something to do.
The morning sun warmed his back, but he felt no comfort in it. A pair of women whispered as they passed, their glances darting his way like skittish birds. One muttered a prayer under her breath, her gaze lingering on the scar that cut across his brow—a mark left by a long-forgotten accident but whispered about like it was the devil’s curse. They always whispered about him. Yeonjun the orphan. Yeonjun the cursed. He clenched his jaw and focused on his work, brushing his fingers over the pelts. Let them talk.
“Still brooding, I see.” Yeonjun didn’t need to look up to recognize the voice. Beomgyu, his only friend, or as close to one as he allowed. The man sauntered over, carrying a sack slung across his broad shoulders, his cheeks red from the morning chill.
“I’m not brooding,” Yeonjun muttered, though he didn’t lift his head.
“Sure you’re not.” Beomgyu dropped the sack beside the table with a dull thud. “You’ve got that same ‘stay away from me’ look you always do.” Beomgyu sent Yeonjun a crooked teasing grin.
Yeonjun gave him a sidelong glance. “It works, doesn’t it?”
Beomgyu laughed, a deep, easy sound that drew a few more glances from the villagers. Unlike Yeonjun , Beomgyu seemed immune to the weight of their stares. His carelessness was off putting to Yeonjun “You know, you might be less miserable if you actually talked to people once in a while.”
“I talk to you, don’t I?” Yeonjun said flatly.
Beomgyu shook his head, still smiling. “I’m not people. I’m a saint for putting up with you.” A saint was far from what Yeonjun would call Beomgyu. The boy was anything but a saint.
Yeonjun huffed a quiet laugh despite himself, but the faint flicker of amusement quickly faded. His mind drifted unbidden to the girl in the woods. Her cloak, the way the moonlight caught the strands of pink hair peeking from beneath it. Who was she? Although he rarely frequented the village, opting to stick to his little cabin in the woods, he was sure that he would spot that bright pink hair anywhere on any given day. Everyone came to the village on selling days, surely he would have seen her walking around, right?
He’d told himself to forget her. To let her vanish into the shadows of memory like everything else. But the image of her standing beneath the trees, her voice soft but bold, wouldn’t leave him. “Anyway,” Beomgyu said, breaking Yeonjun’s thoughts, “I came to ask you something.”
Yeonjun raised a thick brow. “What?”
Beomgyu grinned, a little too wide. “There’s work up at the castle.”
Yeonjun’s expression darkened immediately. “No.”
“Don’t be like that,” Beomgyu said, unfazed. “The princess’s ball is coming up. They need extra hands for the feast. We’d be in the kitchens, nothing fancy. Just bringing up meat for the royals.”
“I said no,” Yeonjun growled, his voice low.
Beomgyu leaned against the table, crossing his arms. Gone was the playfulness, a look of desperation in its place. “Look, I know you hate the nobles—”
“I don’t hate them,” Yeonjun snapped. “I just don’t care for their games.”
“Fine. Call it what you want. But they’re paying good coin, and we could use the work.” Beomgyu’s voice softened slightly. “You could use it, Yeonjun. How long are you going to keep doing this?” He gestured to the table, to the furs and meat that earned just enough to keep him alive. Yeonjun glanced down, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. He did need the money.
“Fine,” he muttered finally, his voice sharp and bitter.
Beomgyu clapped him on the shoulder. “Good man.” Yeonjun flinched away from the touch, shrugging it off. He started packing up his things, his movements quick and tense. But even as he worked, his mind drifted again to the girl in the woods.
Her voice had been so sure when she’d said she was curious, her smile hidden beneath her hood. And yet, there had been something else in her eyes, something that mirrored the ache he carried in his own chest. Almost like a mirror of himself. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t see her again.
Everyone he loved—everyone he cared for—was gone. His family, his friends. Death followed him like a shadow, and he would not drag her into it. He wouldn’t. He would take the coin from the castle and leave. He wouldn’t think about her again. But as he slung his pack over his shoulder and followed Beomgyu out of the square, he knew it was a lie.
The cabin creaked as the night wind curled around its edges, pushing through the gaps in the wooden shutters. Yeonjun sat by the hearth, sharpening his hunting knife with slow, deliberate strokes. The repetitive motion grounded him, giving him a momentary reprieve from his restless thoughts. The fire crackled, casting shadows on the walls, but the warmth did little to soften the cold weight in his chest. The girl from the woods was still there in his mind, her pink hair catching the moonlight, her voice lilting like birdsong. He hated that he kept thinking about her.
A sharp knock at the door broke the stillness. Yeonjun froze, his hand tightening on the knife. For a long moment, he didn’t move, his eyes fixed on the door. No one came out here—no one dared, except for Beomgyu. And Beomgyu never knocked, opting to barge whenever he pleased. Another knock, louder this time.
With a sigh, Yeonjun stood and set the knife on the table. He crossed the room, pulling the door open just enough to see who stood on the other side.A boy no older than seventeen stared up at him, his cheeks flushed from the cold and his arms full of rolled newspapers. His oversized coat hung awkwardly on his skinny frame, and his breath came in little white puffs.
“Mr.Yeonjun!” the boy said brightly, his voice breaking through the quiet night. Yeonjun recognized him as the oldest Huening son, Kai. A paper boy for all of the village. Why he was delivering Papers this late at night was beyond Yeonjun.
“What are you doing here?” Yeonjun said sharply, glancing past the boy to the empty forest path. “You’re supposed to leave the paper on the doorstep.”
Kai shifted on his feet, suddenly nervous under Yeonjun’s glare. “I—I know. But I wanted to see you.”
“Why?” Was all Yeonjun said, not in the mood for a long winded conversation at this hour.
Kai’s face lit up, his nervousness replaced with eager determination. “I’ve seen you. In the woods. Shooting your bow. You’re amazing! No one in the village can shoot like you can.” He took a step closer, his wide eyes shining with admiration. “Will you teach me?” The light from the cabin illuminated the boy's features, catching the stark blonde of his hair and his boyish features. Although Yeonjun was only a few years older than the boy he had felt far more wise beyond his years. Kai was comparable to a..well a child in Yeonjun’s eyes.
Yeonjun stared at him, the boy’s words settling like an unwelcome weight in his chest. “No,” he said bluntly.
Kai’s face fell, but he pressed on. “Please, I’ll work for it! I can help with chores, or—”
“You don’t understand,” Yeonjun interrupted, his voice low and hard. “I don’t have time to waste teaching some kid how to shoot arrows.”
Kai flinched, but he held his ground. “I—I could learn fast,” he stammered. “I swear I’d—”
“Go home,” Yeonjun snapped, his hand tightening on the door. “It’s late. You shouldn’t even be out here.” Kai hesitated, but he finally nodded. Yeonjun shut the door without another word. He leaned against it for a moment, exhaling slowly as Kai’s footsteps faded down the path.
The room felt colder now, the fire’s warmth unable to reach him. He shook his head and went back to his chair, picking up the knife again. He didn’t need anyone else relying on him. He didn’t need one more thing to care about. Everyone who had ever mattered to him was gone. Kai didn’t understand what he was asking for. Yeonjun couldn’t be a mentor, a teacher, a protector. He wouldn’t risk letting someone else into his life—just to lose them too. The paper still sat on the doorstep, forgotten in the cold.
The grand hall of the castle was an entirely different world from the forest Yeonjun knew so well. The air was thick with the scent of roasted meats, spiced wine, and perfumes far too sweet for his liking. Chandeliers hung from the vaulted ceiling, their flickering candlelight casting golden hues over the polished floors and the opulent tapestries lining the walls.Yeonjun had never set foot in the castle before. Being surrounded by so many nobles who shot him noticeable looks of disdain was something he would never get used to, even as the hours ticked by.
Yeonjun moved silently through the crowd, a tray of roasted duck balanced on one hand. His dark tunic and dress pants, provided by the castle staff, were a poor attempt at blending in. He still felt like a wolf among peacocks. The nobility barely noticed him as he passed, save for the occasional stare, their laughter and chatter a dull hum in his ears.“Keep moving,” Beomgyu muttered as he brushed past with a tray of wine-filled glasses. “And don’t glare at everyone. You’ll scare off the coin.”
Yeonjun grunted but said nothing, his focus on his task. He hated the castle, hated the hollow grandeur of it all. The villagers whispered about the luxury the royals lived in, and now, seeing it up close, Yeonjun understood why they seethed with resentment. “Ladies and gentlemen!” a booming voice called, silencing the room. The herald stepped forward, his red and gold uniform gleaming in the light. “May I present her royal highness, Our very own Princess. Daughter of The King and Queen!”
Yeonjun froze.
The crowd turned toward the sweeping staircase, where she appeared, her head held high, her movements graceful and deliberate. She wore a gown of shimmering silver, the fabric catching the light like starlight on water. But it wasn’t the dress that made his chest tighten. Stopping in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor.
It was her hair.
Pink.
His breath caught in his throat as memories of the woods flooded back—the girl in the cloak, her bold words, her curiosity. He had thought of her endlessly since that night, but he’d never expected this. She descended the staircase slowly, her expression serene, but Yeonjun caught the brief flicker of nerves in her eyes. She scanned the room, her gaze brushing over the sea of faces, until it landed on him. Her steps faltered, just barely, and only for a mere second. It had gone unnoticed by everyone but him. He knew the look in her eye matched his own.
Yeonjun saw the recognition in her widened eyes, the way her lips parted as though she might speak. But then she blinked, regaining her composure. Her gaze slid away as though nothing had happened, and she continued her descent. His grip on the tray tightened, his heart pounding in his chest. He had vowed not to see her again, and yet here she was, standing among the very people he resented most. He wasn’t sure what the feeling in his chest was. Resentment? Anger? A little bit of pity? Really he shouldn't be surprised that she didn't tell him who she was the night in the woods but still..Yeonjun felt like a fool.
The evening wore on, the ball unfolding in a haze of music and laughter. Yeonjun moved through the crowd, refilling glasses and delivering trays of food. But his attention was drawn to her, no matter how hard he tried to focus on his work. She danced with suitors, her gown flowing around her like liquid light. She smiled at them, laughed at their jokes, but Yeonjun saw the tension in her posture, the way her smile never quite reached her eyes. He had only known her a short while and still he knew the true feeling behind her faux smile. How had no one noticed how much she hated this? How did the King and Queen not? Or did they just not care?
Despite the distance between them, she noticed him too. Their eyes met across the room again and again—when he passed by with a tray of wine, when she lingered near the edge of the dance floor. Each time, her gaze lingered a moment too long before she looked away. Yeonjun felt fear that someone would notice, someone who would think that there was more there than what led on. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t want to see her. By the time the night began to wane, Yeonjun was certain of one thing: the princess was just as out of place here as he was.
As the night went on the small glances toward each other had become too much for Yeonjun to bear. The need for food and drink was starting to die down as the nobles became more intoxicated, sticking to their silly little dances and belly laughing conversations. He decided excusing himself to go outside for fresh air was the best thing for him. The cool night air was a welcome reprieve from the stifling ballroom. Yeonjun leaned against the stone balustrade of the castle balcony, the distant sound of music and laughter muffled by the heavy doors behind him. Above, the sky stretched endlessly, stars scattered like flecks of silver against the inky black.
He let out a slow breath, running a hand through his dark hair. This was a mistake—coming here, taking this job. Seeing her. He knew even being near the castle would bring him trouble. He knew he hated royals for a reason. The door creaked open behind him, the soft rustle of fabric giving her away before she even spoke. Yeonjun closed his eyes briefly, exhaling through his nose. He looked around at his surroundings. “Shouldn’t you be inside, Your Highness?” he said without turning around to look at her.
“I could say the same about you,” she replied, her voice carrying that same mix of curiosity and defiance he remembered from the woods. Yeonjun turned, his arms crossed. She stood just a few feet away, the silver gown catching the faint light like moonbeams on water. Her pink hair spilled over her shoulders, and she looked more like a dream than a person. A dangerous dream. “You shouldn’t be out here,” he said flatly. “Someone might see us.”
“I don’t care,” she said, stepping closer, teetering on a thin line close to danger.
“Well, I do,” he shot back. “If anyone gets the wrong idea—”
“Let them,” she interrupted. Her gaze was steady, unwavering. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Yeonjun sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There is,” she insisted. “I—I wanted to explain.”
“Explain what?” He gestured toward her, his voice dropping. “That you’re a princess and I’m just some cursed hunter? That we shouldn’t even be in the same room together?” Her eyes knit together at the word cursed, it had given Yeonjun a small sprinkling of foolish hope that she hadn’t heard about him, and what people whispered about him and his family.
Her cheeks flushed, but she didn’t back down. “You’re angry.” Her cheeks flush from the cold. If it weren't for the circumstances Yeonjun would have thought it to be cute.
“I’m not angry,” Yeonjun said sharply. “I’m realistic. You shouldn’t be here, and I definitely shouldn’t be here with you.”
She stepped closer, her voice softening. “Why not? Because I’m a princess?” Her pink hair framing her face in the most delicate way.
“Yes!” he snapped, his eyes narrowing. “Because you’re a princess. And if anyone sees us out here, I’ll be the one paying for it, not you.”
She hesitated, but only for a moment. “You’re right. I am a princess. And all night, I’ve had to smile and pretend that everything’s fine. That I’m perfectly happy dancing with men who don’t know a thing about me. But I saw you, and for a moment, I felt…” Yeonjun’s breath caught in his throat. They were definitely inching towards a very dangerous game, one he didn't want to play.
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Yeonjun interrupted, his voice low. He couldn't hear her say it.
“Why?” She asked, crossing her arms. “Because you’ll be tempted to feel something too?”
He scoffed, looking away. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Unable to look her in the eye.
“Oh, I think I’m right,” she said, a spark of mischief lighting her eyes. She smiled, and for a moment, the tension in his chest tightened.
“You don’t understand,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “This isn’t about you. It’s about me. I don’t want…” He trailed off, his hands clenching into fists.
“Don’t want what?” she pressed gently, not that she had to press much. Yeonjun would soon turn to a pile of mush for her if she needed him to.
“I don’t want my head to end up on a stake,” he said bluntly, turning back to her. “All because you’re having some sort of quarter-life crisis.”
Her mouth opened in surprise, then closed again as she narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re infuriating,” she muttered.
And you’re reckless,” he shot back.
She tilted her head, studying him. “Is that why you keep looking at me? Because you think I’m reckless?”
“I’m not interested in falling in love,” he said firmly, ignoring her question.
The words seemed to land heavier than he intended. For the first time, her confidence faltered, her expression softening. “You’re lying,” she said quietly. The look on her face hurt Yeonjun more than he would like to admit.
“Think whatever you want,” he said, stepping back toward the door. “But nothing good can come of this. Go inside, Your Highness. Your kingdom’s waiting.”
“What’s your name?” She asked with a whisper. “Please grant me that.” Her voice pleading was soft enough to melt his heart.
“Choi Yeonjun, my name is Choi Yeonjun, and I'm sorry.” Before she could respond, he slipped back into the ballroom, leaving her standing alone on the balcony beneath the stars.
The days following the ball were restless. You went through the motions of royal life—meals with your parents, lessons on etiquette, the endless parade of suitors vying for your hand. But none of it could hold your attention. You couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Yeonjun.
His name was an anchor, tethering you to something real in a world that felt increasingly false. Every glance exchanged at the ball, every word spoken in the woods, played on a loop in your mind. By the third night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You knew the risks, but the yearning to see him again was stronger than your fear. As the castle sank into sleep, you enlisted the help of your nursemaid, the one person who had ever shown you an ounce of warmth.
“She’ll kill me for this,” she muttered, bundling you into a heavy cloak. “But I’ll not have you looking like a caged bird any longer. Be back before dawn, child.” With her help, you slipped past the guards, past the watchful eyes of the palace, and into the night. The forest was alive with the sounds of crickets and the rustle of leaves in the wind. It guided you, just as it had the night before, to the clearing where you had first seen him. The path there was more grueling than you remembered, probably due to the anticipation of seeing him again.
There he was. Yeonjun stood in the moonlight, his bow drawn, the string taut as he aimed at a crude target pinned to a tree. He let the arrow fly, and it struck true, embedding itself with a satisfying thunk. You stepped forward, the forest floor damp beneath your boots. “Impressive as always.”
He spun around, his hand already reaching for another arrow. But this time, he didn’t nock it. His shoulders stiffened as he recognized you, and his brow furrowed in frustration. “Princess,” he said sharply, his voice low but tinged with anger. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you,” you said, as calmly as you could manage, the rapid beating of your heart against your ribcage a testament to what you actually felt.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Yeonjun hissed, stepping closer. His eyes were dark, and the tension in his frame reminded you of a coiled spring. “Do you have any idea what could happen if someone found out?”
“I don’t care,” you replied, lifting your chin. “I had to come.” You could admit that you were being incredibly stubborn but you didn’t care. This was something you had to do.
He shook his head, his jaw tight. “Go home, Your Highness. Now.”
“No.” The single word hung in the air between you, and the silence stretched until it was broken by the first raindrop splashing onto the ground. The cold finally sets into your bones and sends a shiver up your spine. You wrapped your cloak closer around your body not letting the droplets of rain sway you.
Yeonjun looked up at the sky, his expression darkening. “It’s going to pour. You need to leave.”
“And leave a lady out in the rain? How very gallant of you,” you said, unable to resist the jab. You weren’t above a bit of manipulation.
He muttered something under his breath before sighing deeply. “Fine. But only until the rain stops.” He turns without another word leading you down a small path. Your footsteps light as you follow closely behind him. The rain picked up in an instant pelting you in only the short walk to the cabin.
The cabin looked cozy enough, nothing grand but you loved it. It felt intimate and new. You fought a small smile as you overlooked the dark wood, this is where Yeonjun lived. He opened the door without a word gesturing for you to go inside.
The cabin was warm, the fire crackling in the fireplace as you stepped inside. Yeonjun shut the door behind you, his movements tense. He didn’t speak as he grabbed a blanket and thrust it toward you. “Dry off,” he said curtly.
You took it, sitting down in the lone chair by the fire. The silence stretched between you, heavy and unspoken. “You’re angry,” you said finally.
“Of course I’m angry,” he said, his tone clipped. “Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? If someone finds out—”
“I’m careful,” you interrupted. “No one followed me. Kora made sure of that.”
“That’s not the point,” he said, pacing now. “You don’t belong here, and I don’t belong in your world. Whatever this is—” He gestured between you. “It needs to stop.”
“Why?” you asked, standing. “Because you’re scared?” Throwing the blanket he had given to you onto the chair.
“I’m not scared,” he shot back.
“Yes, you are,” you said, stepping closer. “You’re scared to feel something, scared to let someone in. But I see it, Yeonjun. You’re not as closed off as you pretend to be.”
He froze, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t know me.
“Then tell me,” you said, your voice softening. “Tell me about your life. Let me understand.”
“You're making this difficult.” He said looking over at you, his eyes tired. His eyes caught the dark specs beautifully. Although only a few years older than you, you could tell he loved a much longer life. Had to endure things you've never even dreamed of, it aged him.
“Why? Because I’m here?” You were not going to let this go.
“Because you don’t belong here,” he snapped, finally meeting your gaze. “You have no idea what this world is like, what it costs.”
You hesitated before speaking. “Then tell me. Show me what it’s like.” You pleaded again.
His laugh was bitter, hollow. “What’s the point? You’ll go back to your castle and forget all about it.”
“I won’t,” you said firmly. “I promise.”
Yeonjun hesitated, the fight in him faltering as he sank onto the bench across from you. The firelight danced across his face. For a moment his vulnerability painted him as a young boy, one who suffered great loss. “My family,” he began, his voice quiet, “used to live in a village not far from here. My parents, my sister, and me. We didn’t have much, but we were happy. Then the fever came.” You didn’t dare interrupt, your chest tightening as you watched him. “They died within weeks of each other,” he said, staring into the flames. “One by one. And I… I couldn’t save them. Couldn’t do anything.”
“Yeonjun,” you whispered, your heart aching for him.
“I’ve been on my own ever since,” he said, his voice hardening. “It’s better that way. No one else to lose. The fever hit many families but a lot of them survived. Mine did not. They call me cursed and…I started to believe I am.”
You leaned forward, your hands gripping the edge of the chair. “But you had something beautiful once, something most people never get—a family that loved each other. I’d give anything to have had that.” He frowned, his gaze flickering to you.
“My parents… they care about power, appearances,” you said bitterly. “I’ve never been more than a pawn to them. I used to dream of having a family like yours, people who loved me for me. Even if I lost them, at least I’d have had it for a little while.”
Yeonjun’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t look away. “You still have a chance to love,” you said softly. “To let people in again.”
He shook his head. “You don’t understand. Everyone I love… they die. It’s like I’m cursed.” You sat across from him, your hands folded tightly in your lap to keep them from trembling. You hadn’t anticipated how deeply his words would cut not because they hurt you, but because they made you ache for him.
“You loved them,” you said softly, breaking the silence.
He didn’t look at you, but his jaw tightened. “Of course I did.”
“And they loved you,” you continued. “That’s why it hurts so much, isn’t it?”
His gaze flicked to you then, sharp and guarded. “What’s your point?”
“That love isn’t a curse,Yeonjun,” you said, leaning forward. “It’s a gift. Even if it’s fleeting, even if it’s painful when it’s gone, it’s still worth having.”
His laugh was bitter, a low sound that sent a shiver down your spine. “Easy for you to say. You’ve never lost everything.”
You hesitated, your chest tightening. “You’re right. I haven’t. But I’ve never had what you had, either.”
Your voice trembled. “I used to dream about having a family like yours. A mother who held me when I cried, a father who wasn’t so… cold. Even if it didn’t last forever, at least I would have known what it felt like to be truly loved.” You said again. Yeonjun’s expression softened, his eyes searching yours as though he was seeing you for the first time.
“That’s why I came here,” you said. “Not just to get away from them, but because you made me feel something real. For once, I wasn’t just a princess. I was… me.”
He looked away, his fingers running along the edge of his bow. “You shouldn’t have come back. You’re playing with fire, and you don’t even realize it.”
“Maybe I do,” you said quietly.
He shook his head. “This—whatever this is—it can’t happen. You and I are from different worlds. There’s nothing but heartbreak waiting down this road.”
“I’m willing to take that chance,” you said, standing and crossing the room to him. And you were telling the truth. You had never truly felt love, so even if fleeting you’d kill to feel it just once. You didn't know what the future held for the two of you but you knew you were capable of loving Yeonjun, for however long the universe would allow it.
He looked up at you, his dark eyes conflicted. “You shouldn’t be.”
“Why not?” you challenged. “Because you’re afraid? Or because you think you’re not worth it?”
The question hung in the air, and for a moment, neither of you moved. Then, slowly, you reached out and rested your hand on his. His fingers tensed beneath yours, but he didn’t pull away. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest.
“Yeonjun,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Let someone in. Even if it’s just for a moment.”
He closed his eyes, his breath hitching. When he opened them again, the raw vulnerability in his gaze stole yours.
“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“I know exactly what I’m asking,” you said, leaning closer.
Your heart pounded as you searched his face, waiting, hoping. And then, slowly, he lifted a hand to your cheek, his fingers brushing against your skin. “I shouldn’t…” he murmured, but the words trailed off as his gaze dropped to your lips.
“You should,” you whispered. And then he kissed you.
It was tentative at first, a soft, testing press of his lips against yours. But the hesitation didn’t last long. The tension that had crackled between you from the moment you met ignited, and the kiss deepened, pulling you into its heat. His hand slid to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tilted your head to deepen the connection. His other hand rested on your waist, steadying you as your knees threatened to buckle beneath the intensity of it.
You felt everything in that kiss, his pain, his longing, his fear, and you poured your own emotions into it, trying to tell him without words that he wasn’t alone, that he didn’t have to push you away. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breaths ragged. Neither of you spoke for a long moment, the sound of the rain outside mingling with the crackle of the fire.
“This is a mistake,” he said finally, his voice barely audible.
“Then let it be my mistake,” you said, your voice trembling. “But don’t push me away because you’re scared.”
His eyes met yours, and for the first time, you saw the cracks in his armor, the pieces of himself he had tried so hard to keep hidden. He didn’t move away. If anything, Yeonjun seemed frozen, his fingers still tangled in your hair, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel the rapid thrum of his heartbeat beneath your hand where it rested against his chest, matching the wild rhythm of your own.
Then, as if something inside him broke free, he pulled you closer. His lips found yours again, no longer tentative but fierce, like he was trying to pour every unspoken word, every buried feeling, into the kiss. You melted against him, your hands sliding up to rest on his shoulders, anchoring yourself as the world seemed to spin away. His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you flush against him as the kiss deepened, heat building between you like the fire crackling in the fireplace.
Every touch, every movement, felt like a revelation. The roughness of his fingers on your skin, the way he tilted his head to take the kiss deeper, the quiet, almost desperate sound he made when your hands slipped up to cradle his face—it was all overwhelming and intoxicating and completely consuming. When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless. Yeonjun rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as if he was trying to steady himself. His hand remained on your waist, his thumb brushing idly against the fabric of your cloak.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he murmured, his voice rough and low.
“I think I do,” you whispered, your own voice shaky. A sense of unfamiliar excitement pooling in your belly.
“You don’t understand what you’re getting into.” He breathed out.
“Then explain it to me,” you said, your tone soft but insistent.
He hesitated, his eyes flicking down to your lips again as though he couldn’t help himself. Instead of answering, he kissed you again.
This time, it was slower, softer. It wasn’t born of desperation but something deeper, something quieter. His lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your heart ache, his hands cradling you like you were something fragile. You lost yourself in it, the world outside the cabin falling away. There was only Yeonjun. The taste of him, the warmth of his touch, the quiet strength in the way he held you.
When he pulled back again, his lips barely brushing against yours, he rested his forehead against yours once more. “This can’t last,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Maybe it doesn’t have to,” you replied, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Maybe we just let it be what it is, for however long we have.”
His eyes opened, and the vulnerability there was almost too much to bear. “You’re going to ruin me, princess,” he said softly.
“Then let me ruin you,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. This time, he didn’t hesitate. The kiss was more hurried, rushed and sloppy.
“I don’t know if I can hold myself back.” He spoke with a huff.
“Don’t.” Was all you said as you toyed with the collar of his shirt. “Don’t hold back, I want this.”
“Have you ever done..anything before?” The question left an embarrassing red tint to your cheeks. Of course you hadn’t. This had been your first kiss.
“No.” Your voice a whisper as you hide your blush with your hair.
“Are you sure you want this?” His voice was firm as he gripped your hips firmly in his hand, almost like he was grounding himself. As if it was taking everything in him to not pounce on you this very moment.
“Please.” You spoke with a newfound desperation. “I’m sure.”
His lips attached to your neck next. It was tender and soft. The delicacy he used only quickened the speed of your already rapidly beating heart. His hands found the sleeve of your dress before slowly bringing it down your shoulder and your arm. The light from the fireplace is a catalyst to your warmth. The light illuminated the two of you like starlight. His lips moved the expanse of your neck and met your collarbone in feather-like kisses.
“You're beautiful.” He whispered, moving your hair back.
“Can I take this off?” Your voice was hushed with a lit of intimidation hanging in the words. You gestured to his white shirt pawing at the buttons.
“Of course.” His smile was warm, comforting. You made quick work of unbuttoning the buttons yanking his shirt off in one fail swoop. You took your time inspecting the contours of his chest and torso. In awe of his sheer beauty. He was young, toned, and beautiful. Your fingers delicately danced around his body taking mental pictures.
“Like what you see?” He smirks at you, a tilt to his lips you found incredibly adorable.
“Yes.” You said simply with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Can I take this off?” His hands toy with the dress you wore. It wasn't a big puffy dress like you would wear on a normal day. It was flat and required no corset, no zipper. It simply slipped off. A surge of confidence rushed through you and you figured you'd take hold of it before it washed away.
You pushed Yeonjun back against the plush couch. His back connected with the cushion behind him. His face lit up with an adorable surprise. “What are you-”
“Shh” You smiled playfully. You rose from your seat now standing directly in front of him. You reached your hands to your sleeves pulling them down slowly.
Yeonjun smiled, resting his hands behind his head before sending you a mock bow of approval. “Suit yourself, your highness.”
“Shut up.” You giggle shyly pulling the rest of the dress down until the fabric meets the floor in a pile.
“Absolutely beautiful.” He said with an unashamed look in his eye. You stood bare in front of him now, only panties and nothing else. No bra to hold in your breasts. You had never been so exposed. You reached down, riding yourself of the last of your clothing.
You had never been naked in front of a man before. Oddly you weren't nervous with Yeonjun, you felt content, you felt reassured.
“Come here.” Yeonjun’s voice was rough and almost hoarse, it was incredibly sexy.
You sat before him, completely naked but full trusting. “I’m going to prep you first okay Princess?”
You nodded dumbly as he carefully laid you down on the sofa falling to his knees in front of you. “Tell me if you want to stop at any point and I will. Am I clear?” You nodded again, finding it hard to muster up words when he was looking at you like that.
“Use your words sweetheart.”
“Yes.” The one word like a green light to Yeonjun. His mouth falling to be level with your core. You watched with keen fascination as his breath fanned the most intimate part of you. His tongue licked up one strip causing a gasp to leave your lips. Your hips lifting from the couch in surprise. His growl of disapproval sent shivers down your spine as his hands firmly pressed your hips back down onto the couch.
His mouth reattached to your slit lapping and licking at the sensitive bud. “Oh-” You whined your mouth involuntarily curling into an ‘O’ shape.
His eyes searched for yours wildly, a desire for approval in his gaze. “How’s that feel?” He asked coming up for a breath.
“G-good.” You stuttered out. “More..”
“Greedy are we Princess?” he quirked a thick brow at you.
“Mhm..” You moaned unashamed of your clear desperation. His hand lifted ghosting over your entrance, his tongue back to lapping up your juices.
“Have you ever touched yourself?”
“W-what?” Your mind was in a daze as his thumb lazily circled your clit, his tongue still ghosting over your entrance.
“Has this little princess ever touched herself?” His voice was rougher now, more demanding.
“Y-yes.” You admitted shyly. “Sometimes”
Yeonjun tsk’d slowly adding a finger into your awaiting entrance, taking it slower so as to not hurt you.
“My god.” You whispered.
“Dirty girl..” Yeonjun trailed off, reaching his free hand up to grab onto yours that was clutching the cushion of the couch in your hand.
“More..” You whined, grinding yourself against Yeonjun’s hand, a desperate moan leaving your lips.
“I think you're ready.” He pulled his finger out with ease. A hiss of pleasure leaving your lips.
“Are you ready sweetheart?” His words were gentle as he quickly removed his pants and boxers. The sheer size of him catching you off guard and rendering you near speechless.
“Words, princess.” His tone held authority, something that had your mind abuzz and your skin ablaze.
“I’m ready” You panted. Yeonjun carefully crawled over you taking a second to look down at your body, his eyes traveling the expanse of you. “Beautiful.” He said for what seemed like the millionth time tonight.
He lined his cock at your entrance running the angry red tip up and down your slit a few times, catching the pool of heat in its wake. “I’ll go slow.”
You nodded desperately waiting for when he would finally be inside of you.
He pushed in slowly the stretch of him burning like wildfire in your body, a jolt of pain flying up your spine.
Your gasp rang free throughout the cabin. The sound of the fire crackling in the distance serves as a comfort to you. “Are you okay?” Yeonjun asks when he was finally fully seethed inside of you, unmoving.
“Yes.” You breathed out. “Just hurts a little.”
“I can wait to move.” He suggested but you shook your head at the need for him to move out weighing the pain.
“No. Please move.”
Yeonjun nodded, pulling his hips back from slowly pushing them back in. His breath hitched in his throat a sigh of content following. “Tight.” He grunted out.
He continued to slowly push in and out of you with tender precision. Soon you found yourself craving more, faster, harder you needed to feel him completely.
“Faster.” You whined out. “You can go faster.”
“Yeah?” He hissed out “Whatever your highness wants.”
A small smile graced your lips at his playful words. His hips pushed into you fasted the sound of your skin slapping ringing in the air around you.
“Feels so good.” You moaned. Running your hands down your body, your fingers finding your clit, making small slow circles over the nub.
“I’m almost there.” Yeonjun panted, his breath fanning over your face.
“Me too” You whined, feeling your orgasm creeping up on you like a freight train.
Yeonjun continued his brutal speed, your body moving in tandem with his, taking everything he gave you. Your heart pounding in your chest as you teetered on the edge.
“I’m coming.” You squeaked out as your orgasm hit you. It blinded you, your eyes rolling to the back of your skull. Yeonjun followed suit, his hips rutting into you before stilling.
The both of you stood still, saying nothing only looking at each other. A bubble of a laugh creeping up in your throat and finally leaving your lips in an eruption.
Yeonjun’s eyes widened as he watched you laugh, him still deep inside of you.
“What are you laughing at?” He asked with a look of amused bewilderment.
“I don't know.” You giggled out. “I’m happy.”
Yeonjun smiled, a small semblance of smile falling from his lips. “Me too.”
The rain had stopped by the time you stood at the door of his cabin, your cloak pulled tight around your shoulders. The world outside was silent, save for the occasional drip of water from the trees. Yeonjun stood in the doorway, his figure outlined by the soft glow of the firelight behind him. “You shouldn’t come back,” he said, his voice low and conflicted. Even after what you had just done he was still thinking of what could happen and not what was currently happening.
You turned to face him, your heart heavy but determined. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
His lips twitched, almost forming a smile, but the weight of the night kept it from reaching his eyes. You had done irreversible things. Things that could quite frankly get him killed. “I mean it, princess. It’s too dangerous—for both of us.”
“And yet you kissed me,” you said softly, stepping closer. “You fucked me.” You continued.
He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his dark hair. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“I’ve heard it before.” You smiled with mischief.
The faintest trace of a smirk crossed his face, but it faded quickly. “If you’re set on defying all reason, at least let me promise you something.”
Your brows furrowed as you searched his face. “What?”
“I’ll write to you,” he said, his voice steady. “I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way to get the letters to you. Just… so you know you’re not alone.”
Your heart clenched at his words, the tenderness in his tone cutting through the sadness that had been building in your chest. “You’d do that?”
“For you?” He hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I would.”
The weight of his promise settled between you, heavy and fragile all at once. You stepped closer, your hand reaching for his. His fingers closed around yours, calloused but warm, grounding you even as the moment felt like it might slip away. The thought of not knowing when you'll see him next wounded you. “I’ll wait for them,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.
His gaze softened, and for a moment, you saw past the walls he had built around himself. “You’d better.”
You smiled, a small, bittersweet thing, before tilting your head up to him. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before leaning down, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that was softer this time, slower, as though he was memorizing the feel of you. You poured everything into that kiss—the unspoken words, the hopes, the promises—and when it ended, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cool night air.
“Go,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Before I change my mind.”
You nodded, stepping back reluctantly, your hand slipping from his. As you turned and started down the path, you glanced over your shoulder to find him still standing in the doorway, his silhouette illuminated by the firelight. And though your heart ached, the promise of his letters gave you a small, stubborn flicker of hope. You’d see him again, you'd make sure of it.
The morning light streamed through the small window of Yeonjun’s cabin, catching motes of dust that swirled lazily in the air. He sat at the rough-hewn table, a piece of parchment spread before him. His fingers tightened around the quill, ink blotching on the page as he wrestled with the words he needed to say. How did he write to a princess? Especially one who he kissed, one he made love to. One that looked at him like he wasn't a broken man, and made impossible promises feel real?
Yeonjun groaned, running a hand through his unruly hair. He had spent the better part of the morning trying to figure out how he was supposed to get this letter to her without drawing attention. The thought of a royal guard intercepting it. Of the consequences for both of them—kept him frozen in indecision. A sharp knock at the door startled him, and he quickly folded the letter, tucking it under the edge of a book before standing. His hand instinctively went to the knife on his belt as he opened the door.
There stood Kai, the paperboy, clutching his satchel and beaming up at him with wide, eager eyes. “Kai,” Yeonjun said, exhaling. “What do you want?”
“Good morning to you too,” Kai said, undeterred. “I’ve been practicing with the stick bow I made, but it’s not the same as the real thing. You’re the best archer in the village—probably in the kingdom! Teach me.”
“I told you before, I don’t have time for this,” Yeonjun said, stepping back and starting to close the door.
“Wait!” Kai stuck his foot in the doorway. “What if I do something for you? Like chores or hunting or—”
Yeonjun stopped, the boy’s words sparking an idea. He narrowed his eyes at Kai. “You deliver papers to the castle, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Kai said, straightening proudly. “Every morning. They don’t let me in, though. Just to the servants’ entrance.”
Yeonjun hesitated, glancing back toward the folded letter. “If I give you something—something important—could you deliver it discreetly to the princess? Without anyone else knowing?”
Kai blinked, his face scrunching in confusion. “The princess? Why would—”
“Can you do it or not?” Yeonjun interrupted, his tone firm.
Kai considered him for a moment, then grinned. “I can do it. But you have to promise to teach me archery.”
“Fine,” Yeonjun said, grabbing the folded letter and handing it to Kai. “This stays in your satchel until you hand it to her.”
Kai tucked the letter into his bag and gave Yeonjun a cheeky salute. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” Yeonjun watched the boy leave, his heart pounding. He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake.
Kai trudged up the winding path to the castle’s servant entrance, whistling a tune as the satchel bumped against his hip. The gray stone walls loomed above him, casting long shadows in the morning sun. Despite his usual bravado, his stomach twisted with nerves. Delivering a letter to the princess was risky business, even for a street-savvy paperboy. When he reached the small, iron-banded door tucked away behind the stables, he knocked twice, then twice more, just like the man had told him. A moment later, the door creaked open, and a woman in a plain gray dress peered out. Her sharp eyes softened when she saw him.
“You must be Kai,” the nursemaid said, her voice low but kind.
“That’s me,” he said, flashing her a grin. “I’ve got the letter.”
He pulled it from his satchel, holding it up like it was a royal treasure—which, in a way, it was. The nursemaid took it carefully, glancing over her shoulder before tucking it into the folds of her apron. “You’re certain no one saw you?”
“Course not,” Kai said, puffing out his chest. “I’m good at being sneaky.”
She smiled faintly. “Thank you. The princess will be grateful.”
Kai tilted his head, curiosity lighting his face. “Why’s the princess getting letters from a huntsman, anyway?”
The nursemaid’s expression grew stern. “That’s not for you to wonder. Just keep this quiet, understand?”
“Understood,” Kai said, holding up his hands. The nursemaid nodded, slipping back inside. The door shut with a soft thud, leaving Kai alone with his thoughts. As he walked back toward the village, he couldn’t help but grin. Whatever was going on between the princess and the huntsman, it was far more exciting than delivering papers.
The grand hall felt stifling, the air heavy with expectation. You sat at the long, polished table, your parents at either end like sentinels of your fate. The man they had brought to meet you sat across from you, his eyes scanning you like a merchant appraising goods. He was handsome in a sharp, cold way, his words polished but hollow. “This is Lord Kang Taehyun.” your father said, his voice booming with authority. “A man of great standing. He’s traveled far to meet you.”
You forced a tight smile, your hands twisting in your lap beneath the table. “It’s a pleasure, my lord,” you said, your voice strained.
Lord Taehyun inclined his head, his smile more a calculated gesture than genuine warmth. “The pleasure is mine, Your Highness. I’ve heard much of your beauty and grace, though I see now that words fail to capture the truth.” The flattery felt like acid on your skin. You glanced at your mother, hoping for some reprieve, but her expression was as composed and unreadable as ever.
“You will have much to discuss,” your father said, his tone dismissive. “Taehyun, perhaps you and the princess might take a walk in the gardens.”
“No,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.
Your father’s gaze snapped to you, sharp and unyielding. “What did you say?” His words felt like tiny little prickles in your skin.
You stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the marble floor. “I said no. I don’t want to walk. I don’t want to… to discuss anything.” This new found confidence surprised not only your father but you as well. The tension in the room thickened, your mother’s eyes narrowing, your father’s face darkening with anger.
“Sit down,” he commanded, his voice low and dangerous. You knew he meant business but something in you wouldn't allow for what was about to take place to happen. You were going to fight like hell.
You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. “You can’t make me do this.”
Your father rose to his feet, his hands slamming onto the table. “You will do as you’re told. This is not a request—it is your duty.”
“Duty?” you cried, your voice breaking. “Is that all I am to you? A pawn to be traded away?” The words hung in the air like a slap. Your father’s expression turned thunderous, but your mother spoke first, her voice cold and clipped. “That’s enough.”
You turned on your heel, tears spilling over as you fled the hall, their voices chasing after you. Your feet carried you through the winding corridors of the castle, past servants who quickly looked away, until you reached the sanctuary of your room. Slamming the door shut, you sank to the floor, sobbing into your hands. It felt as though the walls were closing in, every word your parents had said pressing down on your chest.
You had only tasted a small ounce of freedom but you would do everything in your power to not lose it. The night you spent with Yeonjun was the best night of your life. For the first time in your life you felt real. You had finally felt like someone, seen you as you and not just a pawn in a nobel game.
You picked yourself up from the floor as the tears still cascaded down your face. Throwing yourself onto your bed letting your mind think of Yeonjun and Yeonjun only.
The night was silent when the knock came at your window. You rushed to it, your heart leaping when you saw the familiar figure of your nursemaid, Kora She slipped inside, handing you a folded piece of parchment. “It’s from him,” she whispered, a small smile on her lips. He kept his promise. He wrote to you. Your heart soared a prickling of hope bubbling in your chest. With Yeonjun, the world felt just all the more bearable. This tiny piece of paper was a saving grace in the mess that was your life.
Your hands trembled as you took the letter, the sight of his handwriting calming the storm inside you. Once the nursemaid left, you lit a candle and unfolded the parchment, your eyes drinking in the words.
“Princess,
I hope this finds you well, though I know life in the castle is anything but kind to you. I don’t know what I can offer with my words, but know that I’m thinking of you. I can’t seem to stop. I spent all day at the woods’ edge, wondering if you’d appear again, though I know it’s foolish.
Stay safe. Write back if you can. Just knowing you’re out there—somewhere—makes the world feel less empty.
Yeonjun.”
You clutched the letter to your chest, his words filling the cracks in your heart left by the day’s events. Taking a deep breath, you reached for your quill and parchment sitting on your bed eager to write back.
“Yeonjun,
Your letter was exactly what I needed tonight. The world here feels so cold, so confining. But your words... They warmed me. I wish I could tell you how much they mean to me, how much you mean to me. You call yourself foolish for waiting by the woods, but I find myself thinking about you just as often.
There are moments I wish I could escape all of this, if only to spend another night in the rain with you. You make me feel free, even when I’m trapped within these walls. I don’t know how long this will last, or what the future holds, but I promise I’ll keep writing as long as you’ll read my words.
Yours Always”
You folded the letter carefully, sealing it with trembling hands. The nursemaid would come again in the morning to deliver it, but for now, you tucked it under your pillow. As you blew out the candle and lay in the darkness, your thoughts drifted to Yeonjun. His voice, his touch, his promise. It was enough to keep the despair at bay, at least for tonight.
The days that followed were a blur of tension and despair. Your father’s booming voice echoed through the halls, issuing orders to increase security, though you didn’t know why. Guards were stationed at nearly every corridor, their cold eyes watching your every move. Even the gardens, once your brief sanctuary, felt like a cage.
You suspected it was about control. The more you resisted their plans, the tighter they held the reins. Your father rarely spoke to you directly now, preferring to bark commands to your mother or the staff. Your mother, ever the strategist, would sit by your bedside at night, her hands clasped primly in her lap as she spoke of duty and legacy. Her words slid off you like rain on stone. But even in the midst of their suffocating demands, there was Yeonjun.
His letters arrived like whispers of freedom, tucked beneath your pillow by your nursemaid each morning. The words were simple, but they carried a warmth that broke through the chill of the castle. You read them over and over, tracing the ink with your fingertips until the parchment softened.
“Princess,
Every day feels longer than the last without you here. I thought I was a man who had learned to live without hope, but you’ve made me realize how much I’ve missed it. The woods are quiet now, but I hear your laugh in the wind and feel your presence in every shadow.
I don’t know how this will end, but I promise I will keep writing to you, as long as you’ll have me. You’re the first thing in a long time that has felt real.
Yeonjun”
His words were a balm to your raw emotions, and you clung to them like a lifeline. They were your secret rebellion, a quiet refusal to let your parents steal the one thing that gave you solace. You don’t know what you would do moving forward but you knew for certain that the thought of a life without Yeonjun became more and more painful, it was something you wouldn't allow to happen. Even if it killed you. So Each night, by the flickering light of a candle, you wrote back to him.
“Yeonjun,
Your words are the only thing keeping me sane. I feel trapped here—my parents are relentless, the guards omnipresent. Even my own footsteps feel like they’re being watched. But when I read your letters, it’s like I’m back in the woods with you, standing in the rain. For a moment, I’m free again.
I don’t know how I’ll get through this, but knowing you’re out there, thinking of me... it’s enough to keep going. I hope you’ll write to me as often as you can. Your letters are my escape.
Yours always.”
The exchange continued for days. Each morning brought a new letter, and each night you penned your reply. The routine became your lifeline, a fragile thread tying you to something brighter, something more alive. The grueling dinners with your parents, the endless stream of suitors paraded before you—none of it mattered when you knew a letter was waiting under your pillow. Yeonjun’s words reminded you of what it felt like to be seen, truly seen, and not as a piece on your father’s chessboard. You closed your eyes, letting his words settle into your heart. The stars above seemed brighter somehow, as if he were reaching out to you through them.
Your mother always told you that love was not real. That you could never love someone more than you loved yourself but that was a lie. It makes you sad sometimes. When you thought of your mother. Was she once a girl like yourself staying up until the wee hours of the night daydreaming about the possibility of a real love, had she ever felt it? You weren't sure.
Your fingers itched to write him back, to tell him how much he meant to you, how his letters were the only thing keeping you from breaking beneath the weight of your parents’ demands. But tonight, there were no words strong enough. Instead, you held his letter close and let the quiet night envelop you. For now, his letters were enough. And soon, you would find a way to see him again.
The morning sun filtered through the trees as Yeonjun stood by the edge of the clearing, watching Kai fumble with the bowstring. The boy’s arms trembled under the tension, his grip clumsy as he tried to draw back the arrow. "Not like that," Yeonjun said, stepping forward. He placed a steadying hand on Kai’s shoulder and adjusted his stance, forcing the boy to straighten his back. "You’re holding it like it’s going to bite you. Relax."
Kai exhaled sharply, his face scrunched in concentration. "This is harder than it looks." His blonde hair blowing in the wind that bristled through the clearing they occupied.
He watched Kai try again. The boy managed to draw the string back this time, though it wobbled precariously before he loosed the arrow. It sailed a pathetic few feet before flying into the dirt. Kai groaned, slumping in frustration. "I’m never going to get this."
"You will," Yeonjun said, his voice firmer now. "But not if you give up. Again." The boy looked at him, his brown eyes uncertain, but he nodded. He retrieved the arrow and tried again. And again. And again.
The days that followed were filled with more of the same. Each morning, Kai would show up at Yeonjun’s door with that wide, determined grin, a bow slung over his back and a bundle of arrows that were too big for his quiver. Yeonjun taught him everything—how to adjust his grip, how to judge the wind, how to stay calm and focused even when the target seemed impossible. At first, Kai was frustratingly bad. His arrows veered wildly off course, his fingers blistered from the bowstring, and his skinny frame seemed ill-suited for the demands of archery. But the boy never gave up. Each time Yeonjun corrected him, Kai listened intently, his determination outmatching his skill.
One morning, as they rested under a tree after hours of practice, Kai finally opened up. Completely unprovoked. There must have been a lot of things weighing on the boy's mind. "My family’s poor," he said, staring down at the bow in his lap. "My father makes paintings to sell, and my mother does her best, but it’s not enough. My older sister works at the tailor’s, and my little sister’s too young to help. I’m supposed to be the big brother of the house now, The one to look to when Father is at work, but..." He trailed off, his voice cracking. Yeonjun didn’t respond right away, letting the boy gather his thoughts.
"I don’t want to feel useless anymore," Kai continued, his voice quiet but steady. "If I can hunt—if I can bring home food or sell furs—maybe things will get better. Maybe my family won’t have to struggle so much." Yeonjun studied the boy for a long moment. He saw the desperation in Kai’s eyes, the same desperation that had once driven him to the woods all those years ago. He understood too well the weight of carrying a family’s survival on your shoulders, the feeling of always falling short.
"You’re not useless," Yeonjun said finally. His voice was quiet, but there was an edge of warmth in it. "You’re trying. That’s more than most people would do." Kai looked up at him, surprised.
"And you’re getting better," Yeonjun added, his lips quirking into a small, rare smile. "You actually hit the target today. Granted, it was the edge, but it counts." Kai laughed, a sound that was bright and unguarded. For a moment, Yeonjun felt something he hadn’t in years—a faint, flickering sense of hope. He had seen a lot of himself in kai. He too was seventeen trying to make ends meet while also growing and learning. He reminded himself to give the boy some reprieve, he was doing what most people in this village were doing. Trying to make it.
It was a week later when Yeonjun made the decision. They had finished another grueling day of practice, and Kai was leaning against a tree, his face flushed with exhaustion but glowing with pride. He had hit the bullseye twice that morning, a feat that had him grinning ear to ear. Yeonjun walked over to his small cabin and retrieved the bow that hung on the wall. It was a masterpiece of craftsmanship, its gold accents catching the light like fire. He had carved it himself years ago, imbuing every stroke with a sense of purpose and pride. It was his favorite bow, his most prized possession.
He walked back to Kai, who was packing up his own battered bow. Without a word, Yeonjun held out the golden bow to him. It was a present that he had cherished from his father. He had given it to him early in his life when Yeonjun took interest in archery, and now he was giving it to Kai.
Kai stared at it, his eyes wide. "Is that...?"
"It’s yours," Yeonjun said, his tone leaving no room for argument. He knew he was deserving, Kai was going to grow up to be an amazing huntsman, maybe even better then Yeonjun. Yeonjun was sure of it.
The boy gaped at him, his hands hovering uncertainly over the bow. "But... this is your favorite. I can’t—"
"You can," Yeonjun interrupted. "And you will. You’ve earned it."
Kai’s hands trembled as he took the bow, his fingers tracing the smooth curves and intricate carvings. "I don’t know what to say," he whispered.
"Say you’ll keep practicing," Yeonjun said, his voice softer now. "Say you’ll use it to help your family. That’s all I want."
Kai nodded, his eyes shimmering with emotion. "I will. I promise."
“Good.” Yeonjun smiled a hand on the boy's shoulder. “Now head home it's getting late.”
The castle had become unbearable. Every corridor felt like a gauntlet, every shadow a trap. Guards patrolled relentlessly, their footsteps echoing like a drumbeat of oppression. Your father’s anger was a constant storm, and your mother’s calculated words were no less cutting. Everyday a battle for your freedom. Your father would not budge, his demands becoming more cold and less patient. The looming specter of the marriage broke you. The man they had chosen—a stranger from across the sea—was everything you feared. Another piece in their endless political game. You didn’t want to be a pawn, but they weren’t giving you a choice. That night, as the moon rose high above the castle, you made your decision to see Yeonjun again, no matter the beefy guards.
You slipped into the gown you had worn earlier, pulling your dark cloak tightly around you. With a deep breath, you tiptoed past the guards stationed outside your chamber. The halls seemed endless, the flicker of torches casting long, wavering shadows. Every creak of the floorboards felt deafening, every glance from a passing servant a threat. But somehow, you made it. Past the gates, past the patrols, and into the forest that had become your sanctuary.
The knock on his door was hesitant at first, your courage wavering as you stood in the cool night air. The woods were quiet, save for the faint rustle of leaves in the wind. You wondered if he would even answer, if he was still awake. But then the door creaked open, and there he was.
Yeonjun stood in the doorway, his expression shifting from surprise to concern the moment he saw you, calling your name in confusion. You were the last person he expected to see tonight. You opened your mouth to speak, but the words caught in your throat. The weight of the past days pressed down on you, and before you could stop yourself, tears spilled down your cheeks.
His brows knit together, and he stepped aside, gesturing for you to come in. "What’s wrong?" You stepped inside, the warmth of his cabin wrapping around you like a blanket. It smelled of wood and the faint, earthy scent of leather. He closed the door behind you, his gaze never leaving your face.
"They’re marrying me off," you finally managed, your voice trembling. "To a man I’ve never met. A man I don’t want."
Yeonjun’s jaw tightened, his hands curling into fists at his sides. "When?"
"I don’t know," you whispered, sinking onto the edge of the small cot in the corner. "Soon. My father is furious. My mother says it’s for the good of the kingdom. But I..." You shook your head, burying your face in your hands. The weight of what your parents were doing finally settled in. A moment later, you felt the bed shift as he sat beside you. His presence was solid, grounding, and when his hand hesitantly rested on your back, it was as if a dam broke inside you.
"I can’t do it," you said, your voice muffled. "I can’t live like this. I don’t want to be a pawn in their games. I just... I just want to be free."
Yeonjun was silent for a long moment, his hand tracing soothing circles on your back. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and steady. "We’ll figure it out. I don’t know how yet, but we will."
You looked up at him, your tear-streaked face meeting his determined gaze. "How can you say that? You don’t even know what they’re capable of."
"I don’t have to know," he said, his tone firm. "I know you. And I know you’re stronger than you think."
His words were like a spark in the darkness, a flicker of hope that refused to be snuffed out. You searched his face, finding no hesitation, no doubt. Just him—solid, unyielding, and somehow, impossibly, yours. A beautiful man, who had cared for you. Who has seen more of you than anyone before. A man you were falling for, and hard. Before you could think better of it, you leaned forward, your hands gripping the front of his shirt. His eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t pull away.
"Tell me you mean it," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Tell me this isn’t just a dream." You didn’t care if you sounded silly and childish. This was the equivalent to whispering pinch me i’m dreaming but it didn't matter, you needed to hear it.
His hands came up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that clung to your skin. "It’s real," he murmured. "I promise you, it’s real." And then his lips were on yours.
His hands moved to the small of your back, pulling you closer as your fingers tangled in his hair. The world outside faded away, leaving only the warmth of his touch and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours. The kiss was sweet but heated like you were catching up on lost time. You had missed his touch only feeling the ghost of him in his letters.
His arms tightened around you, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence was heavy, but not uncomfortable. It was the kind of silence that spoke volumes, a language only the two of you could understand. "You should go back," he said eventually, though his arms didn’t loosen their hold.
"I don’t want to," you whispered.
His lips brushed your temple in the lightest of touches. "I’ll find a way to see you again. I promise."
And somehow, you believed him. There was no way you’d be marrying a man you didn't love, not a single chance.
The castle was quiet when you slipped back through the hidden servant’s entrance. Your heart pounded with every step, the weight of the evening still clinging to you like a second skin. The cool stone walls of the passage pressed in, amplifying the sound of your footsteps.When you turned the corner into your room, your nursemaid, Kora, was waiting. Her arms were crossed, and her lips were set in a thin line, but her eyes betrayed her worry more than her anger ever could.
"You’re lucky the patrols didn’t catch you," she said, her voice low but sharp. You had seen her angry before and this was not one of those times, she looked more worried than anything and strangely it made you feel warm.
You closed the door softly behind you and let out a shaky breath. "I needed to go."
Her expression softened at the sound of your voice, her stern demeanor melting into concern. "Child, what are you doing to yourself?" You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you pulled off your cloak and sank onto the edge of your bed, your fingers clutching the fabric tightly. The weight of her gaze made it impossible to avoid the question, so you finally looked up.
"I love him," you admitted, the words trembling as they left your lips.
Your nursemaid’s eyes widened slightly, and she let out a soft sigh as she sat beside you. She reached for your hand, her grip warm and steady. "You’ve always had such a stubborn heart," she said, a faint smile playing at her lips.
"I can’t help it," you said, your voice breaking. "I don’t want this life anymore. I don’t want the titles, the suitors, the ballrooms. I just want... I just want to be free. With him." Tears welled in your eyes again, and before you could stop yourself, they spilled over. "I can’t do this, not without him. I want to run away, leave it all behind."
Your nursemaid pulled you into her arms, holding you close as your tears soaked into her shoulder. She smelled of lavender and the faint, comforting scent of home. "I understand," she murmured, her voice gentle. "But you must be careful, my love. The world isn’t kind to people like us who dream beyond our station." You had never really felt a mother’s love before, not in the way you had longed for. The closest you ever gotten was with Kora. Not only was she your nursemaid but your mother figure. She was nurturing, caring, compassionate like a mother should be. But she was also stern and would tell you exactly what you needed to hear, even if you didn't want to hear it. You had loved her like a mother.
You pulled back slightly, your face still damp with tears. "You’ve always been there for me," you said, your voice trembling. "When my own mother didn’t care—when she looked at me like I was just another duty to fulfill—you loved me. You raised me. You’ve been the only real mother I’ve ever known."
Her own eyes glistened now, and she cupped your face in her hands. "You’ve been my joy since the day you were born. I wanted to shield you from all of this. If I could give you the freedom you want, I would. You deserve to be happy, my dear. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you." The words had felt like another crack in the crippling foundation of your heart. Soon you would overflow then explode with the constant raging emotions inside of you and you were sure when that happened Kora would be right there, helping you every step of the way no matter what decision you decided to make. Admitting to her out loud that you had loved Yeonjun changed something inside of you.
"I don’t know what I’d do without you," you said, your voice cracking.
She kissed your forehead, her touch light and filled with affection. "You’ll always have me. But promise me you’ll be careful. If you love him as much as you say, don’t let that love make you reckless. It’s a dangerous world, and I won’t see you hurt."
You nodded, a fresh wave of tears streaming down your face. "I promise."
The two of you sat there for a long while, her arms wrapped around you like a shield against the storm outside. For the first time in days, you felt a glimmer of peace. Moments like this had made you mourn a relationship you never had with your own mother.
"I love you," you whispered.
"And I love you," she replied, her voice soft and steady. "More than you’ll ever know."
You fell asleep that night with her words echoing in your mind, the warmth of her embrace still lingering into the morning when you awoke again and she was gone, a blanket thrown over your body like a last single trace of her.
The morning sunlight filtered through the trees as Yeonjun stood in the clearing behind his cabin, his bow slung across his back. Kai was already there, eagerly stringing the bow Yeonjun had given him. His tongue poked out in concentration, and the boy’s scrawny arms strained slightly as he drew it back. "Focus on your breath," Yeonjun instructed, leaning against a tree. "Pull smoothly, don’t yank it. Let the bow do the work."
Kai nodded, exhaling slowly before releasing the arrow. It sailed through the air, wobbling slightly before it struck the edge of the target. Not dead center, but better than it had been just days ago. "Yes!" Kai exclaimed, pumping his fist.
Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile. "Not bad. You might not be completely hopeless after all."
Kai grinned, his face lighting up with pride. It was very.. Boyish almost. It reminded Yeonjun so much of who he used to be. He reached for another arrow, his excitement infectious. As he prepared to shoot again, he glanced over at Yeonjun. "You know, my parents were really proud of me last night."
Yeonjun raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What’d you do to deserve that?"
"I caught my first rabbit," Kai said, his voice swelling with pride. "With this bow. My parents sold it at the market, and we made enough money to buy bread and meat for the week. My sisters were so happy. My mom even cried."
Yeonjun’s chest tightened at the boy’s words, a strange mix of pride and longing settling there. "Good work, Kai. You earned that." He had the most perfect prodigy of himself. Someone he knew had the potential to be a great hunter and an even better archer than Yeonjun had ever been.
Kai beamed, his cheeks flushing slightly. "It’s because you taught me. If it weren’t for you—"
"Stop," Yeonjun interrupted, though his tone was gentle. "You put in the effort. I just showed you how."
Kai hesitated, then said softly, "I just wanted to say thank you. For the bow, for the lessons... for everything." Looking down at the ground to hide his reddened cheeks, kicking at the dirt beneath his feet almost bashfully.
Yeonjun looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Don’t get all sentimental on me. You’ll ruin my reputation." He said with a laugh. The joke hanging in the air between the two of them.
Kai laughed, but his expression quickly turned serious. "You’re not as mean as everyone says, you know. You’re actually... really kind."
Yeonjun snorted. "Don’t spread that around. I’ve worked hard to keep people away, and I’d rather not ruin a good thing."
"But why?" Kai asked, tilting his head. "You’re not scary. You’re..." He trailed off, searching for the right words.
"Cursed?" Yeonjun offered dryly.
Kai shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. "Maybe." Yeonjun smiled at his Joke, something he found himself doing a lot more lately.
His turned serious sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "You remind me of myself when I was your age. Scrawny, stubborn, trying too hard to prove something to the world."
Kai titled his head “That wasn't too long ago, you're not that much older than me you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” Yeonjun sighed out, “You Still remind me of my younger self. I’m a lot more grown up than my age suggests. I’ve had to grow up early.”
Kai’s eyes widened. "Really?" His innocence warmed Yeonjun’s heart.
"Yeah," Yeonjun said, a distant look in his eyes. "Only difference is, you’ve got a family who loves you. Don’t take that for granted, Kai. Not everyone’s that lucky."
Kai frowned, sensing the weight behind Yeonjun’s words. "What about your family?"
Yeonjun hesitated, then shook his head. "Not something you need to worry about, kid. Let’s just say... it didn’t turn out the way I wanted."
“I know they died..” Kai said, surprising Yeonjun. “I’m sorry. I can be your family now.”
“I appreciate that.” Yeonjun’s voice was low, soft. Like he was savoring the moment but not wanting to look vulnerable. “You’re a good kid, Kai. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise."
Kai nodded slowly, his youthful energy appearing once more. "I won’t let my family down. I’ll keep practicing, and I’ll take care of them."
Kai grinned, his spirit returning as he straightened his bow. Yeonjun reached into his coat and pulled out a folded letter. "Here," he said, handing it to Kai. "Same deal as last time. Get this to the nursemaid, and make sure it reaches her. No one else."
Kai took the letter with a solemn nod, tucking it carefully into his satchel. "I won’t mess up. You can count on me."
"I know I can," Yeonjun said softly. "You’re tougher than you look."
Kai flashed a determined smile and slung his bow over his shoulder. As he turned to leave, he paused, glancing back at Yeonjun. "You know," Kai said, his voice tentative, "you’re kind of like the big brother I always wanted."
Yeonjun froze, the words catching him off guard. He swallowed hard, his voice rough as he replied, "And you’re like the little brother I never asked for." Kai laughed, waving as he disappeared into the woods. Yeonjun watched him go, a strange warmth settling in his chest.
The wind howled outside Yeonjun’s cabin, rattling the wooden shutters as he sat at his small, worn table. The fire crackled in the hearth, casting flickering shadows on the walls. He ran his fingers over the letter he’d received from Kai earlier, the princess’s words already memorized but still giving him solace. He was about to turn in for the night when a sharp knock echoed through the cabin. Yeonjun frowned. Kai was long gone, and he wasn’t expecting anyone else.
He opened the door cautiously, but no one was there. Instead, an envelope lay on the ground, the seal glinting faintly in the moonlight. Yeonjun bent down to pick it up, his pulse quickening.
He stepped back inside, closing the door behind him as he examined the envelope. The weight of it felt different from her usual letters. The paper was finer, the edges gilded with gold. For a moment, he thought Kai had brought it late, maybe as part of some grand gesture. But when he broke the seal and unfolded the paper, his stomach dropped. it wasn’t her handwriting. The words danced mockingly across the page, each one sinking like a stone in his chest.
“You are cordially invited to a masquerade ball at the royal palace to celebrate the forthcoming marriage of The Princess to Lord Kang Taehyun.”
His grip on the paper tightened, the edges crumpling beneath his fingers. He read it again, hoping he’d misunderstood, but the meaning was clear.
Her marriage announcement.
The room felt suddenly stifling, the walls closing in as his heart pounded against his ribs. He stared at the invitation, anger and confusion warring within him. She hadn’t mentioned this in her letters. Not once. He knew they were trying to force her into a marriage but not that they were going through with one.
"Why didn’t she tell me?" he muttered to himself, his voice harsh in the quiet cabin.
Yeonjun paced the room, the invitation clutched tightly in his hand. Every instinct screamed at him to stay away, to keep his head down and let this royal mess unfold without him. But the thought of her standing in that grand ballroom, her eyes filled with sorrow, surrounded by strangers, was unbearable. He sank into his chair, his head in his hands. The memory of her tear-streaked face from the night she’d come to his door haunted him. The way she’d clung to him, her voice trembling as she confessed her fears.
"I have to see her," he said aloud, the resolve hardening in his chest. His eyes fell back to the invitation. A masquerade. If there was ever a way for him to slip into the palace unnoticed, this was it.
But what then? What could he possibly say or do to change the course of her life? With a heavy sigh, Yeonjun placed the crumpled invitation on the table and leaned back in his chair. The fire crackled softly, the warmth doing little to ease the chill that had settled in his chest. Tomorrow, he would decide what to do. But tonight, he let the weight of the truth settle over him, the words on the page a stark reminder of just how precarious their love truly was.
The night of the ball had finally arrived. Yeonjun sat in the quiet of his cabin, the fire in the hearth reduced to glowing embers. His packed bundle rested on the table . Everything felt heavier tonight—the air, his thoughts, the weight of what he was about to do. He’d spent the day going over his plan, but now, as the moment drew closer, his mind turned to the boy who’d become a surprising presence in his life: Kai. He’d spent the day going over his plan, trying to get his affairs in order. Earlier, he’d gone to look for Kai. The boy was usually eager, always hovering around his cabin or running errands in the village. But today, Yeonjun had called for him several times, even gone to the square to see if he was there, but there’d been no sign of him.
“Probably busy with his family,” Yeonjun muttered to himself, trying to shake off the unease that crept in. He thought of Kai’s bright grin the last time they’d spoken, the pride in his voice as he told Yeonjun about finally catching his first game. The memory pulled at his heart. He’d wanted to talk to the boy, to tell him everything, to hand over the cabin, the bow, and all the tools of his trade. But with no time to waste and no sign of Kai, Yeonjun had to make peace with leaving it all behind without explanation.
"I’ll leave it all to him," Yeonjun murmured, his voice barely audible over the crackling fire. "The cabin, the bow, everything." It wasn’t much, but it was all he had. And Kai deserved a chance—a real chance—to make something of himself. He thought back to the day he’d handed Kai the golden bow, the way the boy’s eyes had widened with reverence. That same boy had caught his first animal just days ago and had been beaming with pride when he told Yeonjun about his family’s gratitude.
“They’ll need this more than I will,” Yeonjun muttered. “Kai will understand.” He sat at the small table, a scrap of paper and a stub of charcoal in hand. The words didn’t come easily, each one feeling like a goodbye he wasn’t ready to say. But by the time the fire had burned down to its last embers, the note was finished, folded neatly and left on the table. Yeonjun stood, shouldering his pack. His gaze swept the small cabin, taking in the worn wood, the faint scent of smoke, the memories etched into every corner.
"This is the right thing," he said softly, though the ache in his chest made him doubt. As he stepped outside, the cold night air bit at his skin, and the quiet of the woods enveloped him. He turned once to look back at the cabin, the soft glow from the window casting a faint light into the night. “Kai will be fine,” he whispered, as if convincing himself. “He’s stronger than he thinks.” And with that, Yeonjun made his way toward the palace. The plan was set, and his resolve was firm. Tonight, he would find her, and together they would leave this world behind.
The masquerade ball was in full swing, a sea of gilded masks, shimmering gowns, and laughter that echoed through the grand halls of the castle. Yeonjun, hidden in plain sight among the servants, carried a tray of fine goblets filled with wine. The facade of calm he wore barely concealed the storm brewing inside him. He’d caught sight of her several times already, dressed in a gown of deep emerald green that hugged her frame and glimmered under the chandeliers. The mask she wore couldn’t hide her identity from him, not when her pink hair peeked through in soft waves. But it wasn’t just her beauty that consumed his attention—it was the man beside her.
Kang Taehyun.
The one she was supposed to marry.
Yeonjun clenched his jaw, his grip tightening around the tray. The man was broad-shouldered, and carried himself with an air of entitlement that grated on Yeonjun’s nerves. He stayed close to her, far too close, speaking in a low voice that made her frown, though she masked it quickly for the sake of appearances. It made Yeonjun’s blood boil.
This was why he was here, why he’d come despite the risks. He couldn’t stand idly by while they paraded her around as if she were a prize to be won. Moving through the crowd, Yeonjun kept his head low, blending in with the other servants. He waited for the right moment—when her parents’ eyes were elsewhere, when the suitor was distracted by a gaggle of nobles seeking his attention. Pathetic. And he thought he was worthy of her?
When it came, Yeonjun didn’t hesitate. He set his tray down and approached her from the side, careful not to draw attention. As he passed, his fingers brushed hers ever so lightly, and he slipped a small folded note into her hand. She flinched at the touch but quickly covered her reaction, slipping the note into the folds of her gown without looking. Yeonjun didn’t wait for acknowledgment. He melted back into the crowd, his heart pounding.
The note in your hand felt heavier than it should, the words scrawled in familiar handwriting still burning in your mind. "The garden. Now."
Your heart thudded against your ribs as you scanned the ballroom. The glittering chandeliers and elegant guests seemed to blur together, a hazy backdrop to the storm of emotions churning inside you. You’d recognized him instantly, despite the servant’s uniform and the simple black mask concealing part of his face. Why was he here? What was he thinking? You spotted Taehyun across the room, deep in conversation with your father, his smooth laugh carrying over the hum of the crowd. Your mother stood nearby, her sharp eyes scanning the ball for potential allies, rivals, and threats. The guards stationed at the doors kept their watchful gazes moving, their vigilance a constant reminder of your gilded cage.
Slipping the note into the folds of your gown, you waited for the right moment. When your mother turned to speak with a duchess, and your suitor became engrossed in a conversation about trade routes, you slipped quietly toward the side door leading to the garden. The cool night air hit your skin like a balm, the oppressive heat and noise of the ballroom fading with each step. You moved quickly, your gown brushing against the gravel path as you made your way through the moonlit garden. And then you saw him.
Yeonjun stood near a stone bench, his figure half-hidden by the shadows of the trees. His head turned at the sound of your approach, and even in the dim light, you saw the tension in his expression melt into something softer. "You’re here," he said, his voice low and rough.
"You told me to come," you replied, your heart racing. "What are you doing here? If anyone sees us—"
"I don’t care," he interrupted, stepping toward you, his eyes blazing. "I couldn’t stand watching you with him."
You froze, his words hitting you like a jolt. "Yeonjun, you can’t just—" You couldn't risk someone seeing you. No matter how badly you just wanted to run into his arms and never let go, this could turn dangerous and fast.
"I had to," he cut in, his voice fierce. "You’re going to marry him, aren’t you? That’s what this whole masquerade is for. To announce it to the world."
His words stung because they were true, but you didn’t have a choice. "It’s not what I want," you said quietly, your voice trembling. "But I don’t get to decide."
"There’s always a choice," he said, his tone sharp, almost desperate. "You don’t have to do this. We can leave tonight—just say the word, and we’ll be gone." You stared at him, the weight of his offer pressing down on you. His intensity, his recklessness—it should have frightened you, but instead, it made you ache. Leaving was all you could ever think about. Leaving the prison you grew up in finally with the man you loved would be everything you had dreamed of.
"Leave?" you echoed, your voice barely above a whisper. "And go where? They’d find us. They always do."
"Let them," he said, his voice softening as he stepped closer. "Let them try. I won’t let them take you from me."
His words broke something inside you, the carefully constructed walls you’d built to endure this life. You looked up at him, tears stinging your eyes. "Yeonjun, this is madness." And it was, but word by word he was convincing you.
"Maybe it is," he said, his gaze locking with yours. "But I can’t lose you. Not to him. Not to anyone."
The night seemed to still, the world shrinking until it was just the two of you. Slowly, you reached up and removed your mask, the cool air brushing against your tear-streaked cheeks. "I don’t want to lose you either," you whispered, the truth spilling out before you could stop it. He closed the distance between you in a single step, his hands cradling your face as his lips met yours. The kiss was soft at first, tentative, but it quickly deepened, years of longing and frustration pouring into it. His hands slid to your waist, pulling you closer, and you clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping you upright.
When you finally broke apart, your forehead rested against his, both of you breathless. His fingers brushed your cheek, his touch achingly gentle. "What do we do now?" you asked, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and hope.
“We go.” he said, his voice steady and sure. "Together."
“Now?” You asked, your voice unsteady and unsure.
“We have to,” he nodded, his tone urgent, almost frantic. His hand was firm around yours as he began to lead you deeper into the garden, away from the prying eyes of the guards and the glittering lights of the ball. “It’s now or never, Princess.” You hesitated at his words, glancing back toward the castle, its grand silhouette looming like a watchful predator. But the pull of his hand—and the fierce determination in his eyes—spurred you forward. The garden paths twisted and turned, the soft crunch of gravel beneath your hurried steps the only sound in the quiet night. The cool air bit at your cheeks, and your gown tangled around your legs, but you didn’t stop. He didn’t stop.
“We’ll make it,” Yeonjun muttered, half to himself, half to you. “Once we’re past the outer gates, they won’t be able to follow us. Not tonight.” Your heart thundered in your chest, not just from the exertion but from the enormity of what you were doing. Running. Escaping. Leaving everything behind. Ahead, the garden’s stone archway came into view, the dense forest beyond it a promise of freedom. But as you reached it, something sharp and cold slithered down your spine—a sense of foreboding you couldn’t shake.
“Yeonjun, wait,” you whispered, pulling on his hand.
“What is it?” he asked, glancing back at you, his brow furrowed.
Before you could answer, there was a faint rustling behind you. Then, a muffled cry—a sound so brief and so quiet you weren’t sure you’d heard it at all.
A hand wrapped around your mouth muffled your screams of protest, throwing you backwards and away from the view of Yeonjun. The last thing before going dark was Yeonjun’s slumped body against the wall and the face of your father looming over the balcony…grinning.
Yeonjun’s eyes fluttered open, and the world around him spun in dizzying circles. The pounding in his head was the first thing he felt—a sharp, blinding pain that seemed to come from deep within his skull. He was lying on cold stone, his body twisted in uncomfortable angles, the rough texture of the floor scraping against his skin. His wrists were shackled behind him, and he could feel the weight of the iron biting into his flesh, a constant reminder of his captivity. The air was damp, heavy with the smell of mildew, and the faint dripping of water echoed in the darkness.
"Awake at last," a gruff voice sneered from somewhere above him.
Yeonjun tried to lift his head, but the effort sent another wave of pain through his skull, making his vision blur. He blinked, trying to focus, and found himself staring up at two guards, their faces shadowed by the dim light of a single torch mounted on the stone wall. "Where am I?" he rasped, his throat dry and cracked.
"The king’s dungeon," one of the guards answered, stepping forward with an air of superiority. "You should feel honored. Not many get to see it." Yeonjun tried to push himself up, but a sharp kick to his ribs sent him crashing back to the floor. He gasped, struggling to catch his breath as the pain radiated through his body. His fingers curled around the cold stone beneath him, grounding himself as he tried to regain control.
“Why were you sneaking around with the princess?” the second guard asked, his voice low and threatening. “What were you planning?”
Yeonjun didn’t answer. His lips were sealed, his mind racing. He wasn’t going to give them anything. The first guard knelt down, bringing his face close to Yeonjun’s. “Don’t play dumb with us,” he said, his voice dripping with contempt. “We know about the little messages you sent. Through that boy.”
Yeonjun’s heart skipped a beat. His mind raced. Kai. They had taken him. His body ran cold, a shiver shooting up his spine. “What did you do to him?” Yeonjun demanded, his voice hoarse but filled with venom.
The first guard chuckled darkly, pulling something from behind his back and tossing it onto the floor in front of Yeonjun. It clattered against the stone with a sickening sound, and Yeonjun’s breath caught in his throat when he saw it.
A bloodstained arrow.
The arrow that had once been his, now soaked in the blood of the one person who had truly believed in him. A boy, not much younger than him but so full of life. Only wishing to make his family proud. Dead..because of him.
"Recognize this?" the guard taunted, his grin widening. “Your little messenger screamed your name the whole time. Begged us to let him go. Begged for you to save him.”
Yeonjun’s breath caught in his throat, his vision swimming as the truth hit him like a blow to the gut. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. No. no. no. Kai.
“No,” he whispered, the words barely escaping his lips. Almost like a plea to any god that would hear him. Any god with mercy.
“Oh, yes,” the second guard said, leaning in with a malicious smile. “And the old woman? The nursemaid? She put up quite the fight. But don’t worry. She didn’t last long either.” The words sliced through Yeonjun like a blade, and for a moment, everything in him went cold.
"You bastards!" he shouted, his voice breaking with fury as he surged forward, only to be stopped by the chains holding him in place. He rattled them with all his strength, the metal digging into his wrists, but he couldn’t escape. The guards laughed at his struggles, their cruel amusement echoing off the stone walls of the dungeon.
“You brought this on yourself,” one of them said, standing to leave. “All of this—on you. On them.” The sound of their boots faded as they retreated down the hallway, their laughter still ringing in his ears. Yeonjun was left in the suffocating silence of the dungeon, his heart heavy with grief and guilt. His body trembled as he slowly sank back onto the cold floor, the bloody arrow still lying in front of him—a symbol of everything he had lost.
Kai. Kai was dead. They had taken him, tortured him, dumped him god knows where. His family, oh god his family. Yeonjun couldn't take it. The curse, he knew it was real and for the first time since the death of his family he had felt it tenfold, piercing him like his very own arrows. They were the archer and himself the prey, left in agony to be eaten by the wolves of the kingdom. How dare they?
Kai was innocent. He was pure. He was good. All things Yeonjun was not. And Kora, Kora had only had nothing but love for the princess. She nurtured her and raised her. She did more than the queen could ever do, gone. Because of him. He closed his eyes, the weight of it all crashing down on him. His chest ached with the unbearable loss, and for the first time in years, tears welled up in his eyes. But there was no one left to comfort him.
A sharp kick to Yeonjun’s stomach jolted him awake, the breath ripped from his lungs as pain shot through his body. He doubled over instinctively, coughing and gasping for air, but the guards were relentless. Rough hands grabbed him by the arms, dragging him to his feet. His legs felt weak beneath him, his head pounding from the lingering ache of his earlier beating.“Get moving,” one of the guards barked, shoving him forward.
Yeonjun stumbled, the chains on his wrists clinking with every step as they led him out of the dim dungeon. The harsh light of the corridor burned his eyes, but he kept his head down, biting back the groan of pain that threatened to escape. As they marched him up a winding staircase, the familiar sounds of the grand hall grew louder—the murmurs of people, the echo of heavy boots on marble, the crackling of torches. Yeonjun’s heart sank. He didn’t have to guess where they were taking him.When they shoved him into the throne room, the sight that met him was worse than anything he could have imagined.
The king sat on his golden throne, his expression smug and triumphant. The queen was beside him, her cold gaze fixed on Yeonjun as if he were nothing more than filth beneath her feet. And there, standing just to the side, was the princess. Her face was pale, her eyes red and swollen as though she’d been crying for hours. The moment she saw him, her hands flew to her mouth, stifling a gasp.
“Ah, the infamous hunter,” The king said, his booming voice dripping with mockery. “I must say, I didn’t expect such a... lowly creature to have the nerve to court my daughter.” Yeonjun said nothing, his jaw tightening as he stared at the marble floor.
The king rose from his throne, descending the steps slowly, savoring every moment of Yeonjun’s humiliation. “What? Nothing to say? No impassioned defense of your love? No heroic declaration of your intentions?” Still, Yeonjun remained silent.
The king laughed, a cold and hollow sound that echoed through the chamber. “You see, princess?” he said, turning to his daughter. “This is the man you chose. A coward who can’t even speak for himself.”
“Stop this!” the princess cried, stepping forward. Tears streamed down her face, her voice cracking as she pleaded. “Please, father, stop this! He hasn’t done anything wrong!”
“Silence!” the queen snapped, her tone sharp and unforgiving. “You will not disgrace this family further by defending him.”
“But-”
“I said, silence!” The king roared, and the princess flinched, her shoulders trembling as she bit back a sob.
The king turned back to Yeonjun, his smirk returning. “Your little messenger is dead, you know,” he said, his tone almost casual. “And the nursemaid. Both gone, thanks to you. All because you thought you could play hero.”
Yeonjun’s head snapped up, his eyes blazing with fury. His heart twisting in his chest.
The king gestured to one of the guards, who held up the bloodstained arrow as a grim trophy. “The boy cried for you, you know. Right up until the end.” Yeonjun’s chest heaved, rage and sorrow clawing at his insides, but he refused to give them the satisfaction of a response.
The king’s smirk deepened. “No clever retort? No fiery protest? Very well.” He raised his voice, addressing the room. “Choi Yeonjun, the hunter, is hereby sentenced to death for his treasonous actions and his insolence against the crown.”
“No!” The princess’s scream pierced the air, raw and desperate. She ran forward, throwing herself in front of Yeonjun. “You can’t do this! Please, father, I beg you!”
The queen rose from her throne, her expression cold. “Move aside, child. This is what must be done.”
“No! I won’t let you!” She turned to Yeonjun, her tear-filled eyes locking onto his. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “This is all my fault.”
“Enough!” The king’s voice boomed, and the guards seized the princess, pulling her away from Yeonjun. She struggled against them, her sobs echoing through the hall as they dragged her back toward the throne.
Yeonjun stood tall, his eyes meeting the king’s without a trace of fear. If this was how it ended, so be it. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing him break. But as the princess’s cries filled the room, a new thought burned in his mind. The memory of Kai, bright eyed and cheery. And everything he had taken from the both of them. She was apologizing but she was not the one at fault. He was.
Yeonjun sat slumped against the cold stone wall of his cell, his wrists raw from the iron chains and his body aching from days of neglect and torment. His head hung low, the heavy silence of the dungeon pressing against him like a weight. Every sound—the drip of water, the faint scuttle of a rat—seemed magnified in the stillness. Sleep had come and gone in fleeting, restless bouts, and this time was no different. A muffled commotion echoed from somewhere outside the cell. At first, he thought it was another cruel trick of his mind, the dungeon’s oppressive quiet playing games with his senses.
But then, there was a distinct clatter—a guard’s voice shouting, followed by a heavy thud. His eyes blinked open, groggy and unfocused. He straightened as best he could, his pulse quickening. Footsteps. He squinted into the darkness, barely registering the soft sound of keys jangling. The door creaked open, and a figure slipped inside, cloaked in the faint torchlight spilling from the corridor.
“Yeonjun.” a hushed, urgent voice whispered.
His breath caught. It was her.
“Princess?” he rasped, his voice hoarse and cracked from disuse.
She was at his side in an instant, her hands trembling as they fumbled with the lock on his chains. Her face, framed by the faint flicker of the torchlight, was a mix of desperation and determination. “What are you—how—” he began, but she silenced him with a sharp look.
“No time for questions,” she said, her voice low but steady. “We need to get out of here. Now.”
The chains around his wrists fell away with a loud clink, and she moved to the shackles on his ankles. “How did you even get down here?” he asked, still stunned as he rubbed at his sore wrists.
She glanced up at him, a faint smirk tugging at her lips despite the dire circumstances. “My nursemaid taught me more than just calligraphy and how to curtsy,” she said, her tone almost teasing. “Turns out, lock-picking and sneaking around are also valuable skills for a proper princess.”
Yeonjun blinked at her, equal parts impressed and incredulous. “Remind me to thank her—oh, wait.”
The smirk faltered, her eyes darkening with pain. “She taught me everything I needed to survive. And now we’re going to survive this. Together.”
The last shackle came loose, and Yeonjun rose to his feet, his legs shaky but functional. She handed him a small dagger she’d tucked into her belt. “Where did you even get this?” he asked, gripping it as though it were the most precious thing in the world.
“Confiscated it off a guard,” she said matter-of-factly, peering into the hallway. “You’re not the only one who knows how to fight, you know.”
He couldn’t help the faint smile that crossed his lips. “Remind me never to underestimate you again.”
“You’d better not,” she shot back, her gaze darting around the corridor. “Now, let’s go before anyone notices.” The two of them crept through the winding passages of the dungeon, their movements swift but careful. The princess led the way, her steps light and purposeful, and Yeonjun followed close behind, his heart pounding with a mix of adrenaline and disbelief. Every shadow felt like a potential threat, every distant sound a prelude to discovery. But somehow, they moved unnoticed, slipping past guards and evading detection at every turn.
As they ascended a final set of stairs, the faint light of the moon filtered through a nearby window, illuminating their path. Yeonjun paused for a moment, glancing at the princess. “Why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice soft but filled with curiosity. “You could’ve stayed safe, let them—”
“Let them kill you?” she interrupted, her tone sharp. She turned to face him fully, her eyes blazing with emotion. “Do you think I could’ve lived with myself, knowing I left you here to die? After everything—after Kai, after Kora?” He opened his mouth to respond, but she shook her head. “You don’t get to question this. I made my choice. And I choose you.” Her words rendered him momentarily speechless, and all he could do was nod, his throat tight with unspoken emotion.
“Now come on,” she said, taking his hand and pulling him forward. “We’re almost free.” The night air hit them like a cool balm as they slipped out through a side gate. The castle loomed behind them, a monolith of power and oppression, but they didn’t look back. They ran, side by side, into the darkness.
The forest was eerily quiet as they approached the cabin, their breaths clouding in the cool night air. Yeonjun slowed as the familiar structure came into view, his steps growing heavier with every inch closer. The small home that had once been his sanctuary now felt hollow, haunted by what had been lost. The princess stayed close, her gaze shifting between him and the cabin, sensing the weight he carried.
Inside, the room was as he had left it—simple and sparse, with few possessions to speak of. Yeonjun moved with purpose, pulling the golden bow from where it hung on the wall. He ran his fingers over its polished surface, the faint grooves where his hands had gripped it countless times. It had been his most prized possession, a symbol of his skill and survival. Now, it felt like a monument to the boy he’d lost.
“We’ll bury it here,” he said, his voice steady but tinged with grief. “It belongs with him.”
The princess nodded, her throat tight with emotion. “I’ll help.”
They stepped outside into the moonlit clearing, the ground soft from the recent rains. Yeonjun worked in silence, digging a small grave beneath the large oak tree at the edge of the clearing. The princess stayed by his side, her hands brushing against his to offer support when she could. When the hole was deep enough, Yeonjun carefully laid the bow inside, his movements deliberate and reverent. He placed a folded letter atop it—a message he had written to Kai’s family, explaining everything. His voice broke as he murmured, “I’m sorry. You deserved so much better.”
The princess touched his arm, her fingers light but grounding. “He knew you cared for him. You gave him hope.”
Yeonjun swallowed hard, nodding as he covered the bow and letter with soil, patting the earth down until the grave was complete. The princess knelt beside him, placing a small wildflower she had plucked from the forest nearby atop the fresh dirt. Together, they bowed their heads in silence, a quiet tribute to a boy whose life had been far too brief.
Inside the cabin, Yeonjun sat at the worn table, scribbling out one final letter. His handwriting was rough, but the words were heartfelt.
“To the family of HueningKai,
I write this with a heavy heart. Your son was brave, determined, and far too kind for this world. He reminded me of the best parts of myself, and I hope you know he made a difference, even in the short time he was with us.
I leave everything I own to you: my cabin, my tools, and whatever small coin I’ve managed to earn. May it ease your burdens and honor the boy who fought so hard for his family.
Kai deserved better, and I will carry his memory with me for the rest of my days.
Yeonjun.”
He sealed the letter, pressing his thumb to it as though it were a seal, and placed it on the table where the family could find it. The princess stood nearby, her eyes glassy as she watched him. “You’re doing the right thing.”
He glanced at her, his expression unreadable but softening. “I hope so.”
With that, they gathered the few supplies they needed—food, water, and some tools for their journey. Yeonjun paused in the doorway, casting one last look around the cabin that had been his home for so many years. “This place was never really mine,” he said, his voice low. “It was always meant for someone else.”
She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it gently. “Then let’s find something that is ours.”
They stepped out into the night, the forest stretching out before them, vast and unknowable. The princess glanced back once, her heart heavy with the weight of what they left behind, but she didn’t falter. They walked hand in hand, leaving the cabin—and their old lives—behind. Together, they vanished into the horizon, bound by love, loss, and the hope of something better.
taglist. @izzyy-stuff , @beomiracles , @filmnings , @dawngyu , @hyukascampfire , @saejinniestar
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hiiiii!! i really love your blog and i was wondering if i could request aot characters being jealous?? 🫶🫶
Hiiii anon! 🫶 This was such a fun request to write, thank you for sharing it with me! Hope you enjoy this!🪷
aot characters being jealous 🤨
warnings: eren kinda needs to be slapped, alcohol consumption in mikasa’s word count: 4,1k includes: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, reiner, bertholdt, hange, erwin a/n: idk why i decided to call bertholdt bertie, idk if i’ve done that before but in my head, that’s his name (apart from birth control, burrito, boruto, boomshakalaka and the lot)
You don’t need me to tell you that Eren will pick up a fight if he gets the slightest clue that he doesn’t have your undivided attention. You smiled at the waiter? What for? Was he to your liking? Why are you on the phone again? I’m here with you, no need to speak with anyone else. He’s too possessive and even though that’s a trait you liked at first, it was steadily choking you. It’s not that he wouldn’t allow you to do things like go out or be on the phone with people he didn’t know personally, but he’d made it his life mission to get to know all of your friends or to always check on you when you weren’t together. He did demand that you sent him pictures and videos of where you were or who you were with though. The final straw was when you caught him going through your phone. You’d spent the night together and you’d just woken up. But it felt too early. Your body was still stiff from not getting the rest you needed and your eyelids felt heavy. You lazily turned over and reached for his warm body, draping your arm around his waist. “You up, y/n?” You responded with a mumble that could mean anything, slowly drifting into sleep again. You were woken by the buzzing of a phone along with a constant turn on and off of a white light. You opened your eyes and realised it was just Eren on your phone… Going through YOUR messages! “Eren what the fuck?” You snapped awake and yelled as best as you could, your voice raspy with sleep. “No worries, y/n, you’re clean.” He said matter-of-factly, still checking some more messages. “What the hell? Of course I’m clean! Why would you do that?” You screamed and snatched your phone from his hands, practically stepping all over him in order to reach the device. “Just had to make sure, y/n!” “When you want to make sure you ask me, you don’t go through my private stuff!”
Armin is so the type to be silently jealous. He notices that you’re smiling while on your phone or that maybe you were extra careful about your hair and make up but he doesn’t voice his concern. He’ll simply compliment you on your looks and on the outfit you picked. He’ll even go as far as to wish you a good time. The entire time when you’re gone, he’ll check your socials, see if you’ve posted anything or if any of your mutual friends has posted you on their stories. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t text you any more than what he normally would. What if he made you suspicious of his behaviour? Then he wouldn’t be able to find anything out! When you’re finally home – much later than usual – he pretends to still be working on his laptop. Unfazed, he asks you about your night out, did you have fun? Where did you go? Did you like that place? The little shit will even ask you to cuddle him while you tell him all about your night. “You know what, I can’t keep it a secret any longer, Armin. I’m sorry you weren’t invited, but me and the girls were helping Ymir propose to Historia, she even hired a photographer and the lot! She’ll tell you all about it soon, I’m sure they’re busy having fun right now!” Armin looked back at you, startled. It all checked out! If Ymir had hired professionals for the proposal, then it’d make sense that you were too meticulous about your appearance or why you never posted anything about tonight. “Wow, y/n… I feel so stupid now… I literally thought you’d gone on a date, I was losing my mind over here!” He pulled you closer with his arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head. “First of all, why would I ever cheat on you?” You pulled away from the soft lock he held you in and removed his laptop from his legs to set it on the living room table in front of you. “And secondly, if I was to cheat, do you really think you’d be able to tell this easily?” You smirked at him and noticed the colour draining from his face. “Y/n, don’t say that, it’s not funny. How’d you do it then?” He requested to which you only laughed. “You’ll spoil the fun if you know beforehand! Let’s just say I’d be way more smart than getting ready for my lover in front of you!” “Y/n you don’t mean that! Say you don’t mean that!” He said, his voice annoyed but also not too confident. Were you being honest? He had to know!
You didn’t know Mikasa could get jealous, but you found out about it that one time you got monumentally drunk. Hanging out for a beer was normal for your friend group, even though it wasn’t always possible for all of you to actually gather. When you did, it was the best night out! Normally, you’d let Mikasa catch up with Eren and Armin while you focused on the people you didn’t get to see quite as often. It was a short break for you and Mikasa, a deal you’d both agreed to keep when you were with your mutual friends. You were catching up with Connie and Historia and lost yourself in your conversations, your laughters. You didn’t know what number beer you’d just chugged, but you three were ordering another round, cackling at one of Connie’s hilarious jokes as you raised your hand towards the waiter. You noticed Mikasa eyeing you from the table she occupied with Eren. She gave you a crooked smile and a thumbs up, but she seemed a bit weird. You completely forgot about the look on her face the moment your pints landed in front of you on the table. “Cheers to us!” Yelled Connie as he raised his pint in the air, clinking it with your and Historia’s. You were so giddy with the beer, your jokes and the laughs you were sharing that you felt like hugging them. Sliding your arms around their shoulders, you pulled them both closer to you, your heads banging in the process. “I really love you guys! We should do this more often!” Connie and Historia intertwined their arms as well, forming an odd three-way hug. “We really should, y/n! Mikasa! Come, join our group hug!” Historia exclaimed breaking contact with you as Mikasa slid in the narrow space between the two of you. “It’s time to go, y/n.” She said, not joining in the hug and reaching for the place where yours and Connie’s arm were touching to pull them apart. “Mikasa NO! Let’s stay, we’re having so much fun!” You offered her a sip from your beer but she only glared at you with red eyes. “Y/n. It’s late. You’re drunk. We’re going home!” She demanded. She stood up before you could say anything and helped you on your feet as well, moving a bit further from the table you were previously sat at. “I don’t wanna leave just yet, Mikasa! Why can’t we stay?” You felt yourself slurring the words. Maybe Mikasa was right. How many beers did you have anyway? “Y/n, you’re drunk and when that happens you start… Hugging people...” She fixed your hair as she asked Historia about your jacket and bag. “What’s wrong with hugging my friends, Mikasa? Just because you and Eren and Armin never hug, doesn’t mean I’m not gonna hug you know?” You protested as she helped you put on your jacket and awkwardly hang your bag on your shoulder. “Nothing wrong with hugging, y/n. But after that, you start making out with people and I’m not particularly fond of that.” You stood still as you realised what she was saying. “That’s unfair, Mikasa! That hasn’t happened since the night we got together!” “That’s my point, y/n! You made out with me because you were drunk! You said so yourself! You were too scared to ask me out!” She was being serious, that much you could tell. You smirked at her and she raised an eyebrow. “So, Mikasa… Is this your way to say you wanna make out or something?”
Connie doesn’t get jealous, not how you’d expect one to get jealous at least. He’s too cocky for this type of behaviour. Even if he had ‘signs’ that you might be unfaithful, he’d play along with you. Questions like “How’s that new man of yours been doing?” were a common occurrence whenever he thought he had clues pointing to that. You were fed up with his stupidity. Joking about it once was funny, but having him try to persuade you that you were having a secret affair was too much. It was getting rather annoying, so you confronted him about it, asking him if he really believed you weren’t loyal to him. Of course, Connie just laughs at this, which annoys you tenfold. “Why would you even cheat on me? I’m giving you everything you ask for!” Cocky. “That’s exactly my point, Connie! I’m not cheating on you, I’ve no reason to! Why do you go on with this stupid game of yours? Are you cheating and trying to pin it on me instead? This is too much of a mindfuck for me to fathom!” Connie’s eyes grew wider at your confession, he noticed how you were being serious about this, how you were actually upset. “Hey, hey… I just thought it was funny, you know? Just messing with you a bit… I never meant for it to get this far, I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner…” He pulled you closer and gave you a hug, then a soft peck on your temple. “Where did you even get the idea? What did I do?” You inquired, eager to properly sort this out. “Ah, I don’t know… You’re always laughing on the phone. But like too much… I usually brush it off, it might be some of your friends. But then you started getting annoyed at me whenever I commented on that, so I kept pushing.” You sighed, not yet leaving his arms as he rested his head on top of yours. “Well Connie, had the allegations been true, I’d be cheating on you with funny cat videos on TikTok.” You admitted and laughed with how silly you’d both been about this misunderstanding. “Wait, y/n, that’s actually quite the rival! You’re not allowed to watch any more cat videos from now on!” He joked and poked your cheek. “Unless we watch them together, of course!”
Jean gets jealous alright. The thing is, he’s having such a hard time admitting it. You’ve been spending extra time with some childhood friends of yours that were back in town for the weekend, so you told Jean you wouldn’t be much around. After all, you didn’t get to see those people often. What with living in different cities, working and the lot, it was difficult. Jean was understanding, of course, Jean is nothing if not understanding and loving towards you. But it was eating him from the inside out. It wasn’t even noon yet and you’d been with your friends for around 3 hours by now. No texts, no calls. Yet, you were extremely active on social media. And one of your friends looked really cute. The kind of cute you’d go for. After some digging – yes, he even checked your facebook page back from 2012 – he found out that you two had actually dated… For an entire year?? Why wouldn’t you mention that one of the people you were to meet was an ex? Sure, he’d mind it anyway, but he’d rather know in advance than have to find out about it himself! “Hey please call me when you see this y/n!” He texted. A few minutes passed and you hadn’t even read the text. “It’s urgent, please call me!!!” Still no response. After a series of emojis aiming to get your attention, you finally check your phone and let him know that you’d call him in a couple of minutes. As patient as he could be - he couldn’t. His foot was tapping like crazy, the nail of his thumb displayed visible damage from his insistent biting and nibbling. The phone rang and Jean had never in his life picked up as fast as now. “Hey Jean! What’s wrong? Everything alright?” You asked, still not quite sure what this was about. “Why didn’t you tell me you and that guy were dating when you were younger?” Your laughter was the only answer he’d get for a few seconds. “I’m serious, y/n! You should’ve told me!” “Jean, okay, how did you even find out about this?” “That’s what’s troubling you, y/n? I checked your facebook! I had to know who I’ up against!” “Jean, you’re being dramatic. Tell me, mr detective guy, why would I tell you about a guy I was dating when I was 15? That doesn’t even count as a relationship!” Jean didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t realised he’d scrolled that far back or that it might have been a minor thing. Realising he had no reason to be jealous, he apologised for the hundreds of emojis he’d sent you earlier. “No need to apologise, Jean! It’s fine, really! Just… Check the dates when you do your digging, okay?” “Hope I won’t need to again, y/n. Have fun with your friends!”
Reiner is the type of jealous person that kinda loses it and panics. He’s not even sure why he’s acting like this. You’ve reassured him close to a million times, yet he can’t shake the thought out of his head. The audacity of that person to comment an aubergine emoji on your recent post was simply the cherry on top of his list of insecurities. “Reiner! Snap out of it!” You had to actually snap your fingers and wave your palm in front of his face to pull him out of his trance. “Sorry, sorry, y/n, I just… That was so… I don’t know, it still bugs me...” Sighing, you leaned over him, placing your head on his shoulder. “I deleted the comment and blocked them. You can check my phone if it makes you feel any better. But anyway, that person had no reason to do that. I haven’t seen or spoken to them in years!” You quickly pecked his cheek, eager that the episode was over, but alas. “Apparently, it’s a lot different in their head, y/n! And that emoji very well indicates what kind of thoughts they were having...” He yelled at you, taking you by surprise. Sure, he wasn’t the most confident person, but this was unusual of him. You pulled up the chair and sat next to him, your arm on his lower back. “Hey… No need to worry, I promise you. It’s nothing serious and it means nothing on my end, Reiner. Do you understand?” He avoided your gaze and instead took interest in pinching the inside of his thumb. Placing your hand on top of his, you ceased his terrible habit. Defeat, he sighed. “Consciously, I know I shouldn’t be jealous, y/n. But then my thoughts start racing… What gave them the audacity to comment that? Have they been thinking about you often? H- Have they… Touched themselves to the thought of you? That makes me physically sick, I can’t stand it… And you can’t tell me people aren’t perverted like that, because you know they are… And then I can’t stop these thoughts from coming back to me.” You caressed his back, taking in his confession and understanding the depth of all he’d just admitted to you. “I can’t make the thoughts stop, but I’m here to remind you that this person is blocked. And every person who acts like this on my accounts is, also, automatically blocked. I don’t want that kind of attention from anyone else but you, okay?” He gave you a loving look as the words sank in. Moving his hand to your face to touch your chin, he softly pulled you towards him to kiss you. “From now on, that’s my mantra, y/n.”
Bertholdt is the one to mention you’ve been getting unwanted attention because, honestly, you hadn’t even noticed it! He doesn’t understand the concept of jealousy. Working as an events coordinator included having to talk to a variety of people for a bunch of things. It was a stressful job, but the fact that Bertholdt worked beside you made everything manageable. Today’s event was hectic: A live radio production covering a charity marathon. The streets were packed with people, everyone was loud and moving up and down like crazy. It must’ve been a solid hour before you last caught glimpse of your Bertie and that wasn’t usually a problem. But today, your biggest sponsor kept bugging you about everything. He wouldn’t let you breathe and actually followed you around as you were checking with your colleagues that everything was set to go. After trying to avoid him for the millionth time, your eyes finally landed on Bertie as he was giving the final instructions to one of the producers. “Let’s go talk to Bertholdt about your issue!” You grabbed the sponsor’s arm and literally dragged him towards Bertholdt. “There you are! Been looking all over for you two!” Exclaimed Bertie as he noticed you and the sponsor walking to him. “Mr Hoover, we were just wandering about this minor detail, would you mind going over it with us once more?” You asked, trying your best to give him an eye signal about the sponsor. You weren’t sure if he got it, but a few seconds later he walked with him to one of the promo booths and introduced him to someone. You saw them shaking hands, then Bertie came back to you. “Has he been bothering you long, y/n?” He asked kissing your temple. “Yes… He’s been insufferable… How did you know?” Bertie chuckled and leaned to reach your ear. “He’s been talking my ear off about you for days… Said he wants to ask you out by the end of the event!” That made the both of you laugh and hold your tummies. “You’re not serious Bertie, are you? We’re literally called ‘Hoover and y/l/n! Hasn’t he seen our wedding rings?” In-between laughter Bertie spoke. “No clue! But I couldn’t spill the beans! Not after he told me all about you, how sweet and pretty you are! I couldn’t bear to be so cruel!” Attempting to contain your giggling – with little success – you’re brought back to reality by the suddenly serious expression on Bertie’s face. “Shut up, y/n! Here he comes!” “We’re in for a treat… Shouldn’t we wait until the event is over?” The more you spoke, the closer the sponsor got to where you and Bertie stood. “Damn, y/n! And I thought I was being unethical for not letting him know about us, but you’re the real deal!”
Hange doesn’t get jealous, but because they don’t really see the signs? They’re so confident about you, they just know you wouldn’t do that. You’d been trying your hardest to make them jealous, as a game of course, but they never really got the cue! You and Historia had even set up a fake profile of a person texting you constantly, your final attempt to see how Hange would react. Your phone lit up with another two texts and a voice message from your admirer. Enough was enough so you decided to be vocal about the incident. “Ugh, I just can’t believe this person… I just don’t understand why they won’t stop texting me… They’re really bothering me, Hange!” At that, Hange’s face was instantly turned towards you from where they were brewing their coffee on the kitchen counter. “Who are we talking about, y/n? You’ve never mentioned them before, are they a friend of youurs?” “We used to date but they keep hitting me up every now and then… I guess they’re not over me yet...” Letting the spoon they were holding hit the counter, they turned fully and walked towards you. “Okay, y/n, this sounds serious. What do you need me to do? Track them down? Call the police? Go find them myself? How serious is this ‘annoying’ y/n? Let me see!” Before you could respond, they took your phone away from you and began scrolling up on your and ‘your admirer’s’ chat. “Y/n, why would you send them the droplets emoji? Isn’t that exclusive for our chats?” “That’s your only problem, Hange?” You requested, utterly disappointed that not even a fake profile sending you thirsty messages was enough to get them going. “Ugh, it’s not even real, Hange, don’t worry… It’s just this profile me and Historia created. I wanted to see if you’d get jealous, but, apparently, I’m incapable of it!” You exclaimed in defeat, face buried in your hands as Hange laughed it out. “Okay, okay, y/n, but let me get this straight… How did you expect me to get jealous over text messages that I didn’t even know existed – even if they were real - and secondly, why would I be jealous about you shifting your attention from me when you’re, quite literally, all over me all the time?” “Why are you the one complaining, Hange? Shouldn’t I be all over you?” “You very well should, but how can I be jealous of potential opponents when you always show me you love me?” You both fell silent for a few seconds, you at loss for words and Hange expecting a response. “I hate how you won’t fall for any prank, Hange!”
Erwin swears he doesn’t get jealous because “it’s not the right thing to do” and “he trusts you too much” anyway. But whenever someone looks at you a little more than usual, it’s game over. For them! You were having Sunday brunch at your usual spot. Enjoying your breakfast with Erwin was usually the highlight of your week, except for when he was in the mood to fight the waiters because “they were staring too long” or complimented you. “He wasn’t, Erwin. And besides, that was literally just Peter. We’ve been coming here almost every Sunday morning for two years. We know Peter and he knows we’re together! Or not to pick a fight with you...” You mumbled the last part, hoping it wasn’t audible, but Erwin’s eyes widening was proof of the opposite. “What was that, y/n? Why would he need to pick a fight with me?” You scoffed, determined to not let this outburst of his to last more than it should. It was your day together after all! “Peter has served us a million times, Erwin. You’re always equally nice to him, except for when he gives me a compliment!” “He has no reason to be giving you compliments, y/n. That’s for me to do.” He explained sternly, cutting one more bite out of his pancake. “He also complimented you, but of course, that doesn’t matter, does it...” You sighed, setting your cutlery down. “I don’t wanna fight about this again, Erwin. You’ve no reason to be jealous. It was just a compliment from a guy that means nothing to me.” Setting his own cutlery down, he reached for your hand and held it. “I just don’t like it when people look at you… Like that… Can’t blame them, you’re wonderful! But I’d rather they kept their thoughts to themselves… I don’t want to fight either, y/n. Are we good?” “We’re good! But you know that other people can like… Perceive me and stuff?” He chuckled at your words, satisfied that your little argument never escalated to anything more than that. “I know. Sadly, I can’t keep you all to myself.” He gave you a sweet smile and went back to cutting his pancake, offering you his bite. “Well, no need to worry about other people’s failed attempts to flirt with me. I’m ‘for your eyes only’, as the poets have said.” You smirked as you took the bite he offered you. “Y/n, I swear to god, if you keep on quoting One Direction, we’ll have to re-evaluate our relationship.” He said in his strict voice. “Aw, but you’re such a fast learner! So quick to pick up on my reference!” You giggled at his face, trying so hard to keep on playing strict but holding back his laughter to the best of his ability. “You’ll be the death of me, y/n.”
#aot#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#snk#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#armin arlert#armin arlert x reader#mikas ackerman#mikasa ackerman x reader#connie springer#connie springer x reader#jean kirstein#jean kirstein x reader#reiner braun#reiner braun x reader#berthold hoover#bertholdt x reader#hange zoe#hange zoe x reader#erwin smith#erwin smith x reader#aot x reader#aot fanfiction#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan au#itsnathateasy wrote this!#aot characters being jealous#answered
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