#I literally made this the guide to calm me down from a panic attack i dunno what to say

[24-guy]

Richie and Max cuddles... maybe Max is afraid of thunderstorms

You have. No idea how much I loved drawing this. Also. [Projects onto Max. Ill explain in the tags.]

If I could be bothered, I would make a flashing lightning version. But I don’t have that energy. :)

Edit: oh god the crunch. Click it for better viewing...

[xtra7s]

First, I love your work!

Second Clicking ont the yes baby button made me feel things !

Third I was wondering if you could write about Leighton or Renée who has an hidden anxiety disorder

Thanks ♤

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

Leighton Murray x Fem!reader

Synopsis: Your girlfriend Leighton is struggling.

Content: Anxiety attacks, fem reader, ummm idk fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

a/n: LOVE REQUEST SO MUCH HOPE I DID IT WELL IM SORRY ITS SHORT (Glad the button made u feel things)

masterlist

Leighton's heart raced like a runaway train, each beat reverberating through her chest like a drumbeat of impending doom. She stared blankly at the pages of her math textbook, the equations and formulas blurring together into an indecipherable mess. No matter how hard she tried to focus, her mind refused to cooperate, consumed instead by a rising tide of panic.

"I can't do this," Leighton whispered to herself, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own ragged breaths. "fuck I can't do this."

She raked a hand through her hair, tugging at the perfectly styled blonde locks in frustration. This wasn't like her. Leighton Murray was known for her sharp intellect and unwavering confidence, especially when it came to academics. But now, faced with the looming specter of failure, she felt utterly powerless.

The fluorescent lights of the college dorm hallway cast a stark glow on the beige walls, as Bela, Leighton's roommate, hurriedly dialed Y/N's number. She could hear the faint sound of Leighton's pacing from the other side of the door, mixed with the irregular rhythm of her breaths.

"Come on, pick up," Bela muttered under her breath, anxiety lacing her voice as she waited for the call to connect.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Y/N answered. "Bela? What's up?"

"Y/N listen, something's wrong with Leighton. She's freaking out about something. I don't know what to do."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat at the urgency in Bela's voice. Leighton was known for her impeccable composure, if she was hyperventilating over something, it had to be serious.

"I'm on my way," Y/N said without hesitation, grabbing her jacket and keys before rushing out of her own dorm room.

Minutes later, Y/N knocked on the door of Leighton and Bela's room, her heart pounding in her chest. Bela opened the door, her eyes wide with concern as she stepped aside to let Y/N in.

Leighton was pacing around her room, her usually perfectly styled blonde hair in disarray, and her hands shaking as she clenched and unclenched her hands.

"Leighton, hey," Y/N said softly, crossing the room to grab ahold of Leighton's hand softly, stopping the pacing. "What's going on? Why are you so worked up?"

Leighton looked up, her blue eyes swimming with panic and vulnerability. "Y/N, I… I don't know what to do. My brain is all scrambled and I can't memorize these formulas for shit I don't know what's wrong with me."

Y/N's heart broke at the sight of Leighton's distress. She smiled sadly at her, offering a reassuring squeeze to her hand.

"Hey, look at me," Y/N said, her voice steady and soothing. "You are more than capable, Leighton. You're brilliant, and you know this stuff. I know you do, you're quite literally the smartest girl on campus."

Y/N noticed Leighton's breathing picking up, and she gently guided Leighton to sit down on the edge of her bed.

"Hey, it's okay," Y/N said soothingly, her voice a beacon of calm in the storm. "Just breathe with me, alright?"

Leighton nodded shakily, her breaths coming in short, shallow gasps. Y/N settled down beside her, taking Leighton's trembling hands in her own and guiding them to her chest.

"Feel my breath," Y/N instructed, her voice soft and reassuring. "Inhale… and exhale."

Together, they began to breathe in tandem, the steady rise and fall of Y/N's chest a comforting rhythm against Leighton's fingertips. With each breath, the tight knot of tension in Leighton's chest began to loosen, replaced instead by a sense of peace and calm.

As they continued the exercise, Y/N whispered words of encouragement, her voice a gentle melody soothing Leighton's frazzled nerves. And with each passing moment, the storm raging inside Leighton began to subside until all that remained was the quiet serenity of the present moment.

"Better?" Y/N asked, her eyes searching Leighton's for any sign of distress.

Leighton nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, Y/N," she said, her voice filled with gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Y/N smiled back, her heart swelling with love for the girl sitting beside her. "You don't have to do anything alone, Leighton. I'm here for you, always."

Leighton's breathing began to slow as she focused on Y/N's comforting words. With each steady inhale and exhale, the tension in her body began to ease.

After the storm of panic had passed, their fingers stayed intertwined as they basked in the calmness that filled the room. But amidst the tranquility, Y/N couldn't shake the nagging concern that had been gnawing at her since she first saw Leighton in distress.

"Leighton," Y/N began softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "do you… do you have an anxiety disorder? I'm so sorry if that's rude to ask, I've just noticed you get really.. panicked sometimes."

Leighton's breath hitched at the question, her eyes widening in surprise. She hadn't expected Y/N to pick up on the underlying issue so quickly, let alone address it so directly.

"Yeah," Leighton admitted hesitantly, her voice tinged with vulnerability. "I do."

Y/N's brow furrowed in concern as she faced Leighton, her expression a mixture of empathy and confusion. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Leighton looked away, her gaze fixed on a spot on the floor as she struggled to find the right words. "I guess… I guess I was scared," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Scared that you would think less of me, or that you wouldn't understand."

Y/N reached out and gently lifted Leighton's chin, guiding her to meet her gaze. "Leighton, I could never think less of you," she said earnestly, her eyes filled with sincerity. "You're still the same amazing person I fell in love with, anxiety disorder or not."

Leighton's eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she absorbed Y/N's words, her heart overflowing with gratitude for the unwavering love and acceptance she found in Y/N's embrace.

"Thank you," Leighton whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

Y/N smiled softly, leaning in to press a tender kiss to Leighton's forehead. "You never have to face anything alone, Leighton. I'm here for you, always."

And as they sat together in the quiet intimacy of Leighton's room, surrounded by the gentle warmth of their love, Leighton knew with unwavering certainty that no matter what challenges life threw their way, as long as she had Y/N by her side, she could weather any storm.

[vaguesxrrow]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE EDWIN X RECENTLY DEAD MALE READER!!!! I NEED MORE MLM READER STUFF AND ALSO I'M A SUCKER FOR THE LONG DEAD AND USED TO IT/THE RECENTLY DEAD CONFUSED AND SCARED THING!!!!

hii yes ofc ! lovedd writing this so i hope u enjoy reading :>>

edwin payne / recently dead!reader

a/n: reader's cause of death is unspecified aside from he died on the street, and also he has an apartment.

anddd uh i forgot that death usually comes for newly dead people... so excuse that inaccuracy please or explain it away with how reader ran away from his body

wc: 1886

tags: male reader, ghost reader

cw's: mention of death, panic attacks (all not detailed)

you ran, leaving your body behind you where it lay on the sidewalk, limp and as still as rigor mortis (you never thought that saying could be applied literally, but now it was, and wasn't that crazy?).

you were panicking, you vaguely registered, as the passerby's and the cars seemed to blur in your vision. people kept passing right through you, and you hunched in on yourself. even if you couldn't feel them (which was also a new, unwelcome epiphany), it still made your skin crawl.

until - a firm hand rested on your shoulder. your breath hitched, like you couldn't quite figure out if the touch was welcome or not.

"are you quite alright?" the hand's voice asked. you looked up, half expecting to see a horror movie-style ghost. instead, however, you were met with angled features that were sharp, yet softened by visible concern at the same time. the boy's brown eyes were narrowed, and his hair looked a little wind swept.

okay. definitely a welcome touch.

"can you hear me? are you alright?" he repeated.

you snapped out of your stupor. "oh," you said dumbly. "i- i don't... know."

he cocked his head to the side, sympathy in the way he pursed his lips and his gaze became gentler. "what do you last remember?"

"...i was walking. and then... i wasn't? it's kind of black after that. i was laying down when i came to..." your eyes widened. you meant to ask, 'am i dead?', but instead what came out was a strangled, "oh my god."

"it is important to remain calm," edwin advised. "i can help you."

you nodded vigorously. "okay, yeah, i could use your help." especially because your voice was getting an octave higher with every word you spoke. so much for remaining calm.

before you knew it, the boy had guided you to a bench and sat you on it, plopping down right next to you as he waited for you to regain your composure. his arm was around yours, securing you snugly to his side - it was comforting.

"i'm dead, aren't i?" you intoned numbly.

he sighed. "yes. but that does not mean everything is over."

"earlier... everyone just passed through me. like i wasn't there at all."

"it is lonely, at first. but then it is not," he said. "take my case for example - my best mate is charles - he's dead as well - and we have two alive friends named crystal and niko, who are part of the small proportion of people who can see us. when you find the right people, it becomes very difficult to feel lonely."

"charles, crystal, and niko..." you repeated. "and what's your name?"

"edwin payne."

"nice to meet you, edwin. and thanks for helping. i'm [name]."

"not a problem," edwin said. "my friends and i are often in the habit of assisting ghosts, although you are the first recently dead i have personally come across in a very long time."

"how long?" you inquired. "i mean, when did you... kick the bucket?"

"1916," he told you gently.

your eyes widened. "riiight."

you fell silent again. as you were contemplating your current circumstances, several voices yelled edwin's name.

approaching you were three people. two girls - one with white hair, the other with curly brown - and a boy with near-black ringlets.

"edwin, mate, we couldn't find you anywhere!" the boy exclaimed.

"yes, well-" edwin began.

"who's this?" the white haired girl cut in, looking at you curiously.

edwin rolled his eyes fondly. "this is [name]. he recently... became a ghost."

"does he know any cool ghost tricks yet?" she asked.

you thought you felt a headache coming on.

"[name], these are my friends. niko, crystal, and charles." he gestured to them in order of mention. they all waved at you, even if the last two looked a bit wary.

"hi," you said meekly.

"we were just discussing the events of [name]'s death."

charles coughed pointedly. "maybe give the guy time to process he even is dead?"

"oh! my apologies, [name]. are you still feeling unwell?"

your eyes darted between crystal and niko as they exchanged glances at edwin's apology, like they were surprised. it confused you as to why - he seemed perfectly nice so far... and very charming.

"i'm good," you told edwin, flashing a smile. "i just... don't know where to go. i can't go back to my apartment, can i? i'm dead. it's not like i could continue living there."

"i read somewhere that it's good to revisit places from the past," niko informed you earnestly. "it can be very healing."

"hey, edwin, you should walk him back to his apartment!" crystal piped up.

"hm?" niko cocked her head at her friend. "oh! oh, yes, edwin, you totally should. you're a dead boy detective, after all. go help people!"

you thought you'd get whiplash trying to keep up with the conversation. "you're a what now-?"

edwid stood abruptly, brushing invisible dust off his coat. "perhaps i will walk [name] back to his apartment. if you feel inclined to." the last part was directed at you.

"oh- i wouldn't want to inconvenience you guys..." you said.

"nonsense." he held out a hand to you. "we are the dead boy detective agency, after all."

you still didn't know what that was, but you trusted edwin in spite of only having known him for less than an hour. so, you took his hand. you couldn't feel it, but the imagined weight and warmth of his palm against yours gave you comfort, dissipating the fear and apprehension inside you just a little bit.

⌦ --

the apartment building loomed above you. suddenly, it felt so big and intimidating - you felt no trace of excitement at the quaintness of it like you always had before. the reason you chose to live here was the brick walls and the carefully tended vines snaking along the front. not to mention, it was tall - 10 stories - and sort of reminded you of rapunzel's tower.

"ready?" edwin prompted.

you nodded, and let him pull you through the door - which you passed through with ease. you knew you were incorporeal at best in your current state, but you still cringed, bracing yourself for an impact that never came.

"it gets easier, eventually," edwin told you, having noticed your unease.

"yeah, okay," you said. and you were convinced. "i guess it'll help having an experienced ghost guide with me." you beamed at him.

his lips parted slightly in surprise. "i promise to do whatever i can to make this adjustment easier for you."

you chuckled. "edwin, you are honestly so charming..." you muttered to yourself as you headed towards the elevator. another reason you loved this complex so much was because you didn't have to conquer the 10 floors with just the stairs.

how did ghosts usually travel up places? you had no clue, but you were grateful that edwin kept silent at your decision to take the lift.

a 'ding' sounded and the doors parted open, instantaneously revealing the door that led to your room. your landlady had been kind enough to let you paint it a lovely burnt orange colour.

"that's me," you sighed. "c'mon."

your apartment was just as you remembered you left it this morning. not that you'd logically expected any change... but the fear-addled part of you had maybe been picturing a ransacked room, band posters ripped off the wall and all your ceramic cups shattered across the floor.

"this is weird," you voiced as you drifted from the door to the couch, then to the small kitchenette.

you shivered, not from the cold - you would never feel cold again, you thought, a bit hysterically - but from the all-encompassing grief you felt for yourself.

"i'm kind of sad i died. i know i'm still here... i'm not gone gone, or anything, but i'm still sad. is that weird?" you turned towards edwin, who was watching you with an unidentifiable look in his eyes.

"not at all." he put a hand on your shoulder. "there is much more to be done, even after your living time has expired." he paused, seeming to consider something. "i could... i could show you, if you would like."

"show me what?"

"the dead boy detectives' office," he said. "perhaps it will serve as a distraction."

warmth spread inside you, touched at his thoughtfulness. "that'd be great."

"excellent." edwin smiled, looking pleased. "do you have a mirror?"

your iron-tight grip on edwin's hand never ceased its hold, even after the two of you emerged from the other side of the mirror. panting, you gave your insides a moment to settle from the very jarring travel.

"that was so cool," you gasped. "even if it was unexpected. is this what niko meant by cool ghost tricks?"

"quite," edwin said. "now, welcome to the dead boy detectives' office. allow me to show you around."

his hand was still in yours, you noticed as he led you to a bookshelf and gave an overview of the different volumes it held. you made no move to pull away - partially because you didn't want to break his flow (you saw why he was so proud of it, and it was cute hearing him ramble), partially because you enjoyed the contact.

then, he showed you to a shelf that, if you didn't know any better, would have looked like a knick knack shelf, albeit one belonging to an eccentric grandma. on it were objects ranging from bones (human or not, you couldn't tell) to the rubber balls you found in vending machines.

"these," edwin proclaimed. "are the more interesting payments we have received. some enchanted, some not. i keep a document of which are and aren't."

he picked up a metal ring, with a dark sapphire gem in the middle. "like this, for example. it isn't enchanted, but it dates back to the edwardian era. when i was alive." he sighed wistfully, and lifted your hand, where your fingers were still intertwined. "may i?"

you nodded, watching his face. his eyes met yours, and he smiled shyly as he slipped the ring onto your finger.

"i acknowledge that we have only just become acquainted," edwin began. "but i have never become so fond of a boy this quick before."

"...so, in 21st century speak, you like me?" you questioned, half-teasing.

the two of you chucked in unison.

edwin cleared his throat. "yes, i think i do."

"then you won't mind if i..." you let the way you leaned down slightly finish your sentence.

"please," he said.

the kiss was chaste and fleeting, but it was enough for you to decide you definitely wanted to do it again.

"was that okay?" you checked in with edwin.

he nodded quickly. "yes, yes. very much so."

"good." you bit back a grin.

"would you like to stick around?" he blurted. "around the office, i mean, and with my friends and i. it isn't every day i meet a boy like you, and i... think i would rather like your company."

"i think i'd like your company, too," you admitted.

he held out a hand, making you laugh at the formality of it. "well then, welcome to the dead boy detectives' agency." he said. "i, for one, am very happy to have you here.”

[lythea-creation]

Caught on Camera - Shams x fem reader (Chapter 2)

Previous Chapter

warnings: panic attack

word count: 920

-----------------------

Finally P.E. was over.

Actually I liked to move my body between hours of sitting in the classroom. But instead of concentrating on themselves and their body most of my classmates had been busy trying to impress our new couch. Ridiculous!

Relieved that I did not have to see any more of this until the next P.E. lesson I stepped out of my stall as I had finished changing back into my uniform.

I preferred to dress in the separate stalls, especially because it had the highest stake of not getting involved in any changing room drama that did not seem to be rare at our school.

I turned to the side as I heard a squeaking noise coming from the stall next to me as the door was crying out for some oil.

Out of all the people it had to be Shams getting out of the stall.

I had tried to avoid her since our little fight about her filming. Yet I had not gotten her out of my head, which was even more annoying.

We sent each other a look, before approaching the door to get out of here and instead enjoy the break.

My hand grabbed the door handle as I intended to open the door, but it would not budge an inch.

Shams raised an eyebrow at my struggle.

“Are you kidding me?”, she questioned and attempted to open the door herself.

But it was no use. We were locked in.

A frustrated sigh left Shams lips. “Guess we're gonna have to stay here as we can't even call anyone because we don't have our phones anymore”, she pointed out.

She sat down on one of the benches and stared into her camera, probably flipping through some video clips.

Meanwhile I was frozen in place. This had to be a sick joke.

My paralysis was quickly replaced by panic. How long were we supposed to stay here? Why were we even trapped in here? Probably one of Hiba's ways to get through to me because I never reacted to her snarky comments.

I started pacing through the room, frantically looking for a way to get out.

“You should save your energy. Freaking out won't get us out of here”, Shams remarked.

I did not listen and simply continued searching for a way out.

“The teachers will probably check the whole compound at the end of the day. We'll just have to wait until then”, Shams considered.

“You don't get it. I need to get out”, I proposed.

“I don't really fancy being locked in here either. But do you see me making a scene?”, she noted.

“I need to get out!”, I repeated.

“Okay. But you won't find a way out because there is none. Trust me. I know the school buildings better than any other student here. You'll have to wait until somebody finds us”, she resonated.

“Shams, just stop! I can't … I can't stay here”, I proclaimed.

Somehow breathing was harder the longer we were in here. Was it because of my frantic movements? Or was the air already starting to decrease in oxygen?

I sank to the ground, my back against the lockers.

“Hey, (f/n)! Are you okay?” Shams voice sounded dull, like I was underwater.

My eyes were closed shut, filling my world with literal darkness.

Suddenly I felt her hands against my neckline.

When I opened my eyes I realized that Shams was opening my tie and the upper buttons on my shirts.

“You're hyperventilating”, she stated. “You need to calm your breathing.”

She did not exactly sound calm either, the poker face ripped of for the first time since I got to know her.

“(f/n), look at me”, she instructed me.

Our eyes met and somehow it was not hard to keep looking at her at all.

She guided my breathing until the world around me returned.

I just recognized know how close she was and that she was holding my hand.

“Are you okay?”, she worried.

“Yeah”, I assured her, still panting slightly. “Thanks.”

“I think you were having a panic attack. Do you know why?”, she wondered.

She sat down next to me, pulling her hand away. Somehow it made me upset.

“I guess I'm scared of closed off spaces”, I confessed.

“Why?”, she inquired.

“Why does it matter? Do you want to talk it around or integrate it in your film? Did you film my panic attack?” That possibility had not even crossed my mind before.

“What? Is that seriously what you're thinking of me?” I could hear the disappointment swinging in her voice as well as anger.

“I dunno. After all I don't really know you anyway”, I reminded her.

“Don't worry. I didn't film any of this and even if I had I would delete it. I keep my promises”, she claimed.

Then she stood up abruptly and sat back down on the bench to bring some distance between us.

“(f/n)”, she called out and threw a water bottle my way.

I caught it last second.

When I sent her a questioning look she declared: “You should hydrate yourself after the strain your body has just been through.”

Those were the last words we spoke until Soumaya finally found us and let us out.

Back at home I could not help but rewind everything that happened. Had I judged Shams too quickly?

--------------------

Next Chapter

I hope u all like the second chapter. Feel free to send more suggestions!

Tag List: @sunwoniie

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Thranduil and Josie Pt. 128- Nowhere to Run

Summary: Josie meets a new furry friend. Narcisse needs help. Josie and the warlock share a moment. Haldir's in trouble. Something magical happens. Narcisse is accused. Haldir and Josie have their own overdue sweet moment. Thranduil reaches a breaking point. Legolas is plagued with his own troubles. The new King of Mirkwood gets the shock of his life.

*Warnings* Angst, language, death,

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

After your bath, you picked out a casual garment for the evening from several items in your wardrobe that Narcisse had delivered by a servant, along with Leean's cradle and necessities for her since you would never step foot in that room again after what had happened. You anxiously awaited to reunite with your baby while Stephane was out trying to locate Haldir and make sure you and Leean were safe from Catherine. Although it had only been a few hours, you missed your daughter terribly.

You sat on the bed brushing your hair when you almost jumped out of your skin, startled by an extremely furry feline hopping onto the bed beside you.

"Oh my, where on earth did you come from beautiful kitty cat?"

The eagerly purring and attention craving kitty was quite happy to see you as he crawled onto your lap and began to gently knead your legs. You guessed him to be a he and only a few years old. Also he appeared to possibly be a Maine Coon judging by his enormous size and fan like tail that was longer than the length of your hair. He held it straight up in the air as he gracefully swayed it, revealing his jewels that proved your theory of him being a boy.

"Mrrrrrow." he softly meowed and peered up at you as if he were saying hello to you. For split second, you could swear you saw a spark of electricity flash in his viridescent eyes when you stroked his back.

The breeze from his briskly wagging tail brought his scent to your nose, one you recognized very well. Peppermint. He was most certainly Narcisse's cat. If there was one thing you admired about the warlock, it was his love for animals just like you had. The gorgeous animal's presence made you miss the brat cat Louie, Lestat's strikingly black and silky coated tomcat.

"Well hello to you too majestic king. My name is Josie and if you could speak, I would allow you to just call me Jo. I wonder what your name is?"

"His name is Merlin." Narcisse affirmed as he entered the room.

"Like the wizard? Is he magical like Gandalf? Maybe that's why Catherine hasn't been able to turn him into Chinese food yet." you joked and smiled as you turned to look at Stephane....although he was not smiling, but rather appeared as if he were going to pass out.

You sprung up and ran to him, literally catching him as he began to tilt.

"Jesus, Stephane!! What is wrong?" you asked in panic as he teetered in your arms. "My god, come sit down before you fall."

You guided him to the sofa with your arm tightly around his waist. After assisting him in sitting, you placed your hand on his face to make him look at you.

"Stephane, talk to me. Are you alright?"

"That bitch, she hit me with...I don't even know what it was."

"Oh my god, Catherine? She attacked you? Where is she now?"

"Bash is handling her. She will be thrown in the dungeons until I decide her fate." he grunted as he brought his hand to his head.

"Here...let me see." you whispered with kindness and compassion.

You slowly brushed his hand away to get a better view. Narcisse was moved by your tenderness as he studied your face while you looked him over.

"Narcisse, you have one hell of a knot. You could have a concussion....and I...I can't even heal you....What the hell happened?"

He stood up, seemingly too upset to sit still.

"I tracked her down to finally take care of her like you told me I needed to do. After what she did by releasing Asher, she had to be stopped. I...I can't lose you Jo."

He gazed at you in desperation, yet his beaming blue eyes were so sincere.

"Stephane, I...try to calm down. I am alright."

"If anything were to happen to you...just stay with me....here. Please tell me that is the decision you made while I was out. Let me take care of you." he pleaded, stuttering through his words as if he were choking up.

You felt yourself caving, melting at his genuine concern for you. You didn't know what to do or say. What was this pull you felt towards him? It was so very different from what you felt for Garrett, or even Legolas. You could not even describe it to yourself. With that thought, you slowly raised your fingers to his hand as he peered down in confusion, but then he gradually lifted his fingers to yours, as if he knew what you were trying to do.

As soon as your fingers laced into his, a charge of white humming electricity formed a connection between them, but this time, it didn't knock either of you on your asses. Instead, it was actually quite orgasmic.

You both gasped and pulled your fingers apart and then the next thing you knew, Stephane was kissing you...and you let him. A soft, simple and supple kiss, even sensual because the tingling magic was still there in his lips.

A knock on the door interrupted the star struck gaze you and the warlock were lost in.

"My lord Narcisse. It is I, Sebastian."

Stephane still stared into your eyes, as you did his, for the moment was too heavy to easily break.

"Uhh...right...umm...I am so sorry, excuse me for a moment Jo."

Narcisse sighed in frustration as he went to the door. You immediately followed with your hands slightly out by his waist, still concerned he may lose his balance, and it did not go unnoticed by him.

"What is it Bash?" Narcisse growled through his teeth as he swung the door open.

Bash could see he had impeded on the warlock lord's alone time with you, but it was of dire importance.

"My lord, my greatest apologies but I felt you needed to know that the Lorien elf has been admitted to the infirmary and is highly agitated, asking for the Queen of Mirkwood.."

"WHAT!?" you spewed as you pushed past Narcisse. "Why is he there??"

"I do not know the details my lady."

"Take me to him now!"

Narcisse nodded at Bash to do as you ordered, and he followed.

You raced into the room to find Haldir struggling to breathe as healers were trying to tend to the uncooperative elf.

"Haldir! Sweetheart, what...what happened??"

"Ask....him!" he sputtered in rage, glaring at Stephane, who was clueless to the elf's hysterics.

"What? Haldir, what are you talking about? Hey, hey, look at me, look at me. I'm right here. I won't leave you."

You took his face into your hands to try and calm him.

Haldir closed his eyes and and let out a deep breath, then forced out a single word.

"Poison..."

"Wait, what? Poison? You...were poisoned?"

Haldir stared deeply into your eyes and managed to nod once, then darted his eyes to Narcisse.

"S...soup."

"You ate soup that you think was poisoned?" you asked, trying to understand him.

Haldir aggressively shook his head.

"Ok...ok, calm down. You didn't eat soup? Haldir, I don't understand."

"I...I breathed it...the steam....apricots...."

"Oleander....." Narcisse whispered in shock, quite loudly.

You spun around to him in sheer panic.

"What??"

"A very toxic plant in the dogbane family. It smells of citrus. Ingesting it, touching it, or even inhaling it can be deadly from a simple single leaf. It slows the heart rate and constricts the airways."

"And you know so much of this HOW??"

"Now wait a minute Jo. It is common knowledge in my world. If you're suggesting I would poison Haldir, you could not be more wrong. I would never do that!"

"Wouldn't you??!" you asked in an incredulous tone.

Haldir grabbed your arm. Gasping, you quickly turned back to him.

"Jo...MY Jo...he...he is...dangerous. He...he wants...me...gone."

"That is an all out lie!!!" Narcisse shouted. "I am not threatened by you. Why would you accuse me of such an offense?!"

"Because you were seen arguing with him just hours prior!" Claude raged as she overheard the commotion and had followed everyone. "And my mother is missing! Did you poison her too??"

"Your mother has been detained for releasing that defiling Asher with the intent to cause harm to Josie! and believe you me, she will pay for it!"

'Wait a minute, you were arguing with Haldir? Why???" you adamantly asked.

"Jo, I went to find him like I told you I was going to do, remember? So I could inform him of what happened with Asher. Haldir became upset, blaming me for what happened to you... I went to him for you so that he knew you were alright! I never took him any soup! Please, believe me Jo, I would never do that."

"But you would put a rat in her bath and blame it on my mother!" Claude accused.

"That is because your witch of a mother did it!! And knew how easily she could blame me."

"Will you all shut the fuck up!" you yelled and turned back to Haldir.

"What can I do? I don't know what to do Haldir! I don't have any healing powers!" you cried as you squeezed his hand so tight, trembling something awful.

Haldir's breathing became shallow as he stared at the ceiling.

"No...NO! Do something!" you screamed at the healers, who stood with expressions on their faces that told you nothing could be done.

"Jo! The pendant!" Stephane suddenly shouted.

"Oh my god, yes! How could I forget!"

You frantically grasped at your neck, only to find the emerald missing.

"It's..it's GONE! How did I not...."

You swirled around to Narcisse and stood closely to his face with frightened eyes.

"Oh...my...god....Asher...when he grabbed my neck." you muttered.

"I'll find it Jo." Stephane swore as he took your hands into his, then ran off.

Claude began to realized that her mother was responsible after all as she recalled she had just found her in the kitchen before all this happened and that the servant was indeed leaving with a platter for one....but she kept this information to herself, for she blamed Narcisse for her mother's grief that had caused her to do such unlawful things. If her mother was going to suffer, then so was he....and you....for you were the cause of all of it.

Claude flashbacked to a phial of liquid her mother had given her just before she was supposed to go into hiding and with quite specific instructions of what to do with it if anything were to happen to her. Just another thing that proved to her that Catherine poisoned Haldir.

"This is Asher's blood. Normally it would be a greenish black but after a warlock dies, it turns to that of a urine color. Fitting for the waste that he was. Now, it is deadly to a vampire for it is dead man's blood. I want you to rid of that filthy fiend Garrett that lurks around here, another fool pining after that wretched witch queen."

"You want...ME...to poison a vampire? By all means, do tell me how in the hell I am supposed to do that. I do not even know him, nor does he know me. Should I just walk up to him and offer him a glass of wine? That certainly would not be suspicious." Claude sarcastically joked. "And not to mention, did you miss the part where I am a HUMAN? A vampire's only food intake!"

"Silly girl, you are not going to give it to him. Take that spell book with you and open it to the page I have bookmarked. Do as the spell says. Do not skip anything or cut corners and it will work just fine. The love sick blood sucker won't know what hit him."

Claude had taken the blood and left before Narcisse came in, extremely wary of messing with black magic after she had just given her mother a lecture on using it moments prior. Even Catherine had been scared out of her wits as she tried to break the spell she cast upon Narcisse by burning the voodoo doll only minutes before telling her own pregnant daughter to use the same deadly magic, knowing of it's consequences.

She then left the infirmary, unsure of what she was going to do.

It was deja vu of Haldir being poisoned by vampire blood and how close he came to dying because just like now, you didn't have the pendant...and now you were just sobbing as you hovered over your elven bff. The kind of sobbing where you could barely speak and snot kept dripping from your nose. The guilt you were feeling was physically painful, causing your chest to tighten.

"Haldir...I..I am so so sorry for everything! I..I have been such a horrible friend to you. I promised to spend time with you and I have been too self absorbed to do so. It was never intentional. You were so wrong when you said that I don't care about you anymore! You mean so damn much to me, you always have and always will. Please...please don't leave me. Not you. God not you. You can't leave me. Just hold on awhile longer ok? I am right here with you and I am going to make this all go away....and then you, me and Leean are going to go away like we planned, to Lorien....ok?"

Haldir's eyes glided to yours as he weakly squeezed your hand.

"Do not cry Jo. I do not blame you...I...I still love you. I always will."

His words were of a soft whisper and then...they were no more as his eyes closed.

"N...n...n..nooooo. Noooo..NOOOO Haldir wake up!!! Someone do something, help him!!! Why are you all just standing there?? Do your damn jobs and heal him!!"

"My lady, we are very sorry. There is nothing we can do for that type of poison."

Their words faded, your ears clogged and your vision blurred as you blinked repeatedly, choking for air and then you collapsed on top of Haldir, remembering the similar scene of when you found Thranduil and how he had been poisoned with wolfsbane. You couldn't move nor cry, nor even breathe as your face laid upon Haldir's chest, listening to the silence of his heart and feeling his stillness.

A burning rage came over your body, like a fire inside of you had ignited and suddenly, your light ripped through your skin... just like it had once before when you saved Haldir from Thranduil's curse.

You yanked Haldir's lifeless body up into a sitting position and then your eyes turned a fiery amber as wind, flames and electricity powered all around you and the marchwarden, knocking the two healers to the ground. Narcisse had just came rushing in with the pendant in hand, but was shoved against the wall by the force of your storm.

'JO!!" he shouted, but his voice went unheard by you, muffled within the cyclonic vortex. "You must stop before you destroy us all!!"

You couldn't stop. You did not want to stop. Words came spewing out of you, sounding almost demon like.

"My emotions make me strong!!! You will not die this day. I command you to wake up and be healed Haldir of Lorien!!!"

Haldir's ocean blue eyes opened wide and as they did, your powers ceased, vanquishing you. You fell into his arms, barely conscious as Narcisse stood frozen in shock against the wall panting, his arms planted upon it. The two healers stood up with their mouths hung open, completely enthralled at the miracle before their eyes.

"Jo, it is time for you to wake up now too." Haldir whispered into your ear as he held you tight.

Your eyelids fluttered open as you gasped at the sound of his voice and his sweet smell of strawberries.

"Hal...Haldir?? Oh...oh my god, you're... you're alive!"

You flung yourself onto him, squeezing him so hard as you bawled.

"You saved me Jo. Again. I do not have words. But I fear if you do not release your death grip, I may die again from suffocation." he chuckled and kissed your head.

His silly joke made you laugh and cry at the same time as you brought your face to his, holding it in your hands.

"You're...you're really ok??"

"Never better."

The beautiful blonde beamed his pearly white smile at you with that cute little gap he had in the middle of his two front teeth.

Narcisse finally pried himself from the wall.

"Jo...your powers...have they returned? How...how did you do this? You just brought someone back from the dead...it...it's not possible. No one can do that...not without Ashmole."

"I...I don't know? It...it just happened...and..."

You suddenly came back to reality and a scowl formed on your face.

'You!! You did this!"

"What?? Jo! No! I told you..."

"I know what you told me. I am not deaf! And I'm also not dense! You could have easily had someone put the poison in his soup."

"And so could Catherine before I had her taken away! My god Jo, I am not a cold blooded murderer without a damn good reason and jealousy is not one of them, but we both know Catherine is very capable of that."

"And we both know she has you under some kind of black magic! How convenient that a rat was put in my bath when you knew I wouldn't want to use it again and that there were no other baths available....but yours...and then there's the note stating one rat down, two to go. Haldir and Legolas?? because you were jealous??! You drew your bow on Legolas!"

"He drew his on me!! And I almost died trying to save him once or did you forget that?? I also risked my life in the icy bath of the black sea to search for him. Oh my god Jo, do you hear yourself?? I would never terrorize you!! This is exactly what Catherine wanted. She took the spell book from your room! Wake up Jo! You know me!"

"I've only known you a little over a month. Maybe...maybe whatever Catherine has done to you with that book is making you forget what you've done?"

"This is preposterous and quite frankly insulting! Maybe you SHOULD gather your things and leave, both of you." he snapped and stormed out.

You burst into tears and Haldir grabbed you right up.

"I..I don't know what to believe." you sniffled into his satin hair. "I mean, after all that he has done for me, for all of us, I just don't want to believe he would try and hurt you but everything points to it that he may have...but then again, what if he is right, that it was Catherine setting him up so that I would go away."

"If it were she, would it not be more reasonable that she would have just tried to hurt you instead?"

"I don't know that either Haldir. I barely know the woman...and I...I thought I knew Stephane...I guess my intuition is not as in tact as I thought it still was. I need to get back to my daughter. Will you come?"

"Most certainly Jo. You know I love spending time with her...and you."

"Does this mean I am forgiven for how I have treated you?" you asked with a frown.

"You know I cannot stay angry with you, and besides. I once again overreacted about your personal dealings. It is none of my concern."

"See, that's another thing. Why would Narcisse go to all that trouble with that drawing to push me away and still try to hurt you?"

"Because he knew you wanted to go to Lorien with me. Jo...I know I just said it is none of my concern, but I cannot help to be. As you said, you've know him merely a month, I have known him for centuries. He is very capable of doing what he feels is necessary to get what he wants."

"Even these things? Murder without just cause? I mean...after he just..."

You abruptly stopped yourself because you almost stupidly told Haldir that Narcisse kissed you...again.

"After he just??"

"The way he acted. So adamantly sincere of his innocence." you claimed in self rescue, which wasn't a lie. You really were having a hard time believing Stephane did it after his plausible defense, but you were still going to speak with him more whether he wanted to or not.

You and Haldir entered Lola's chambers and you rushed right to your cooing princess, scooping her up.

"My sweet girl, momma's here now. Lola, was she alright while I was gone?"

"Yes Josie. She has been sleeping and she also indulged in the healing waters of Mirkwood."

"Hmmm, I think I can tell. Someone is stinky. I am going to go change her and see if she is still hungry. Haldir, wait for me? We need to figure out what we are going to do now. There is no room for me and a baby in Lola's room with three other people....and well, you heard Narcisse about his wishes."

"I will be right here when you return."

You went into the small wash room and bathed Leean in the magical water.

It was so nice to have that there. It was always of a perfect temperature and filled with nourishment. Just as the lembas, it was also quite filling. It was one of the things you missed from Mirkwood, swimming in Thranduil's pool. You then thought of Legolas and prayed he was alright. But of all things in the world, Thranduil was what you missed the most. The hole in your heart was so heavy as you watched his little girl's moonstone eyes gaze up at you with such love while she ate. She soon dozed off and you took her back to her crib.

"That was rather fast." Haldir smiled and stood up to greet you like the gentleman he was.

"Yeah, I think she's still full from the water and I bathed her in it, so she is very relaxed right now. Can we go talk on the balcony?"

Haldir bowed his head and opened the doors for you, then closed them for privacy.

"I am going to go speak with Narcisse, if he's still around, or even will speak to me at all. If I cannot persuade him into allowing us to remain here, am I still welcome to come with you to Lothlorien?"

"Jo, you know that you are. You do not have to ask. EVEN if I were still angry, I would still protect you and take you with me. None of that makes me lo...care about you any less."

You caught his almost words and wondered if he remembered telling you he still loved you back in his delirious state. This sweet elf. You didn't deserve him and you certainly didn't know what you would do without him. Maybe...maybe you were meant to be with him after all...but only time would tell.

"You're much too kind to me Haldir. If...if Stephane agrees to let us stay...could...maybe..."

"Of course you and Leean are welcome to stay in my room, but...should we not just go anyways?"

"I..I don't know. I truly feel I need to find that damn book so we can destroy Jareth once and for all. I cannot keep living like this. I have no powers, well except for what just happened but I don't even know how it did..I just feel so helpless and I hate it. That is the old me, the me before I found Thranduil and he made me strong again, along with my father...whom is also gone again and not himself...and my newly found brother is out there somewhere doing god knows what...and then there's Legolas. I have hurt him deeply and have probably lost him...and before you ask again, I do not want to talk about it. I just want to go home Haldir, but...I can't face it...the pain it will bring. Thranduil will be in every corner. I'm...not ready....and Garrett...I.."

"Garrett? what does he have to do with any of this?"

The vampire had everything to do with it, but you couldn't tell Haldir why. He would flip out again if he knew you had feelings for him and you didn't need that right now.

"I..I just mean that if I go with you, I won't see him much because he won't go near Lorien."

"As if our boundaries would stop him from getting to you. It is no secret how the leech feels about you."

"I'm just a fucking mess Haldir...I don't want to be weak anymore, I want to be a fighter, a warrior like my King, not some fragile little girl who like right now, cries over every damn thing...I'm so sorry."

You put your hands over your face and cried.

"No, I am sorry. I should not have shamed him to you and as far as Legolas, well, I know how he feels too and he will never turn you away if you go back. Jo, your are far from fragile. You have put me in my place a time or two. Maybe your powers have returned after what just happened. Have you tried them?"

"No...I just don't feel them, just like I don't feel Thranduil." you sobbed even harder.

"That doesn't mean they aren't there. You certainly must remember how it was before you gained use of them. You had them all along, you just weren't ready, or looking deep enough for them."

What he said made you remember Amara's similar words. Maybe they were both right. Maybe you should try.

'Alright...I will try."

You closed your eyes and held your hand out, picturing a flame in it and hearing Garrett's words..."Focus. Will it. See an enemies face if it helps." You definitely pictured Raven in that moment, seeing her burn at the stake.

Your arm began to get hot, crawling like slow moving lava from your shoulder to your wrist and then into your fingers...and then your fingertips burst into flames.

You gasped and smiled so big. "Haldir look!! It..it worked!"

"You see?? Now...try something else."

You snapped your fingers and the flames ceased. You then stared at Haldir's hair.

"Umm Jo? What are you doing?'

"Shhh. Just hold still. Be quiet."

Haldir gulped and did as you told him.

The braid in the back of his head slowly lifted into the air and began to unravel. Haldir's widened blues side eyed his strands as they fell around his cheeks.

"YESSSSS!" you squealed and began jumping up and down, clapping like a crazy person.

"Jo, do you know how long it takes me to do that?" he scoffed.

"Oh don't be a big baby. Here, I'll redo it, Turn around."

"But you don't know how because you always make me braid yours."

"Yeah, and I learned from the best, now quit griping."

You stared at him for a moment, at how absolutely stunning he looked with his hair down. You had only ever seen him that way once, when you and he were intimate a very long time ago.

You took his silky strands and began your magic, piece by piece, crisscrossing them and then tied a single piece at the end to keep it in place.

"There...good as new."

Haldir frowned with a raised brow and darted to the mirror inside, glancing back at the braid no one had ever done but him.

'Not too shabby huh?' you grinned.

"Hmmph..yes, I suppose it will do." he said as he kept turning at different angles to see it.

"You're totally going to take it out and redo it when I leave, aren't you?"

He sighed and turned to face you. "No...I will leave it...ONLY because you did it...and well...it does actually look pretty good."

"AHA! I knew it! Alright. I'm going to go find Narcisse. You'll stay here with Lola and Leean?"

"Of course Jo. But if you are gone too long, I am coming to find you."

"Deal."

You spun around and rushed to the door, then stopped and spun around, running back to him, planting a huge kiss on his cheek as you jumped up into his arms.

"Thank you...for helping me." you sweetly told him as you held his face. "And...I am so glad you're not dead."

You then sprinted back to the door and left.

"Yeah umm, ME TOO!" he shouted and shook his head, then smiled.

Thranduil weakly paced about in his now locked room due to his outburst and defiance of Jareth and Harker. For three days, he had been tortured again while chained to the wall in the washroom. The only thing it accomplished was making him more bitter and desperate to escape.

He sat and gulped down some wine that he was now permitted to have, and contemplated on what he should do next. It was all quite complicated beings he did not have his twin swords or his ring, and his magic seemed to have no spark at all, for he had tried multiple times. It was Jareth's kingdom that was at fault. The evil it possessed and also the trauma he was suffering.

Thranduil's last resort was to keep trying to connect with Legolas, which had failed every time. He figured it to be because Legolas's mind was not open to him, for he believed him dead...so he needed to try even harder. It was the only hope he had left.

After a multitude of more botched attempts, Thranduil became enraged and distraught. Falling to his knees, he bellowed out one word.

"LEGOLAS!!!!"

Legolas was still in Mirkwood as he didn't feel right just leaving Ferin and his company to fend off the growing numbers of spiders in the forest for he had been gone long enough as it was, although he desperately wanted to go find Aragorn and Gimli to go see if there were any truth to what the Seelie Queen had told him. If his father was alive, this would change everything...and he would have to hold up his end of the deal with Amara for the information she provided, which made his skin crawl. But he knew if he deceived her, she could possibly harm you, for she was no one to cross and he would never allow that to happen. So, he would suffer, for you. Amara may have been beautiful on the outside in all of her many forms, but he has seen her true self before, which made the arachnids look like angels and he would rather plunge a knife through his heart than to ever touch her...and he knew that would be one of her demands as her King.

Another thing that had him on edge was that Tauriel never left when she agreed that she would the next morning. She demanded on staying and helping with the spider slaying so he let her only because they needed the aid and she was good at what she did.

And then there was you...always on his mind, every waking second and every dreaming moment.

Legolas took a moment to go visit his grandparent's graves and the memorial he had set up for his father. He spoke to all three for sometime, completely opening his heart and mind to them with the genuine love he felt.

He then heard Tauriel's shouting voice from afar.

"Legolas! The spiders have breeched the borders!!!"

He swiftly sped off when suddenly the wind was knocked right out of him by another voice....inside his head.

"Legolas!!"

"A....ADAR??"

@redeemer46

[sub-matlabi]

I want to get married to someone. But that person has made it clear to me that they are not interested. Actually they backed out after agreeing. Everything was set, even the date was fixed but then they started making excuses and it ended so horribly that there is literally no hope or way for it to happen now. That person has hurt me a lot. I have suffered great personal and family loss because of them. I want to let it go and move on but It doesn’t seem to go away from my heart. I can’t let it go. Even when I try my best I still find myself feeling the same thing. It’s been almost a year. I have been looking for other proposals and as soon as my family finds a good match I will get married. This struggle in me confuses me. I believe that dua can change anything. I want to make dua for that person to come back to me. I know it sounds so weird and silly. Even I feel it funny as I write this but what to do with my heart which doesn’t give up. I want Allah to decide this matter for me now. I have waited so patiently for ramzan to come so that I can talk to Allah about it. What should I pray for in the last ten nights? I don’t know why I still want to get married to that person. I want to let it go but I can’t. Please tell me what should i do? What dua should i make? At times it weighs so heavy on my heart that I can’t stop crying. My desire to be loved and accepted by that person isn’t letting me move on. I am tired of fighting with myself. Last night I thought okay yr I surrender to this and I will make sincere dua to Allah to get married to them. It seems unlikely but my heart won’t give up. I’ve been making continuous Quranic dua for a righteous spouse but at times I ask Allah to make that person better for me. Just yesterday I offered 2 rakat nafal prayer specially to forget all of that and by isha i had such a severe anxiety and panic attack that I cried in prayer and asked Allah to send them back. I know that person doesn’t want to marry me at all. I know I will move on too. But what to do with these feelings and this hope and faith in dua. At times I can literally feel that person. Like I can literally feel that they have moved on and it hurts. I am learning to accept it. And i made dua that I stop sensing them. My heart feels attracted to them this is why i can sense them. I want it all to end and if it doesn’t then I want Allah to make us better for each other and unite us as spouse soon. Please help me understand all this and please make dua for me. I am in extreme emotional distress because of all this. Nobody seems to understand. And I cant explain it either. Please do reply and please give me sincere advice. May Allah bless you.

Assalamu Alaikum, Dear brother or sister! I hope I will be able to guide you. Reading all that you have mentioned I assume you already have a strong faith in dua, you are lost and cannot figure out what's right for you. Truth is that only dua can help you in this extreme situation where you are fighting with your nafs. You need to learn the way to make dua. Remember you have to put Allah swt before anyone else. When you are praying to him use his attributes that show his omnipotence. He likes to be called upon by his attributes. Recite surah doha on daily basis as it helps to calm down your heart. You must learn the duas of Hazrat Musa AS, Hazrat Salama AS, Hazrat Younas AS. These duas have helped me and many others alot. Seek for Allah's guidance. Ask him to bless you with a righteous spouse. Never stop praying. Pray to him again and again until you get married. Have strong faith in him. Even if you want the same person back in your life ask Allah SWT to bring him back but only if he is suitable for you. Remember that you have no idea if that person would have been the righteous spouse for you. So never ask Allah to give him back to you at any cost. Always pray that bring him back if he is the best match for me. Always ask him to bless you with the best in the dunya and akhira even if you think you don't deserve it. And please don't cry for human beings. It's not worth it. Cry only in front of Allah and only for him.

[yourivygrows13]

I was so broken and messed up and hanging by a single thread when 1989 came out.

I was 23, living in New York and newly medicated. I’d spent the summer trying to hold myself together with a brain that wouldn’t let me. I cried myself to sleep every night, or got just drunk enough (4) on free vodka cranberries to fall asleep before the crying could start. I’d spent the summer having multiple panic attacks a day, and almost 201d myself when it seemed like there was nothing I could do for myself anymore.

When I was walking to the ER to do so, I stopped in a Dunkin for an iced tea and to try to calm down. To get a sign from the universe that it wasn’t the end that maybe I could still help myself. Maybe I still had some strength left. “I Wanna Get Better” by Bleachers came on and when the song ended I walked back to my office.

A few weeks later “Shake It Off” came out and it felt like a life preserver. Something small to cling to. I listened to it on repeat all day. I walked home from work smiling for the first time in months. I got home and blasted it for my roommate and best friend and something about how happy I was, how bright it made me, was intoxicating enough to turn my formerly Taylor-indifferent best friend into an obsessed fan.

Then “Out Of The Woods” came out and I had a life boat. I had something to pull me out of the water. I had a mantra to repeat to myself as I fell asleep instead of tears and racing thoughts.

The monsters turned out to be just trees

When the album dropped I listened to it on my way to work and by the time I got to “Clean” I knew I would be to someday. I could literally feel my body, my brain, putting itself back together. A fog lifted.

I made the decision to leave New York. For my health. To heal. I moved to Philadelphia and 1989 became my armor. My friend. I went to the 1989 tour in Philly and finally saw Taylor for the first time. It’d been about 19 months since “Shake It Off” came out. I was getting clean. The darkness was fading. Finally.

I’m 32 now, and on the precipice. About to leave Philadelphia to move to a new country. A new continent. And now I’ll have 1989 (Taylor’s Version) to guide me. To wear as armor. To get me out of the woods.

Much like Taylor, I’m in such a different place mentally, emotionally, physically than I was then. Reliving these eras has been so special, but this one in particular.

Because I’m finally out of the woods.

[superjumpintomyheart]

Hi there! I ADORE YOUR WORK. Can you maybe write a fic that’s hurt/comfort? Pearl calming Marina down from a panic attack. It would be super comforting to me ^u^

bro i cant believe this ask came in bc i was literally just thinking about a situation like this in the shower (who doesn't imagine fanfics while taking a shower) so tada here we go with pearlina <3 and thank u so much im so glad u like my stuff!!!! sorry it took a while to get it out!!

[cw, description of intense panic attack, PTSD symptoms]

~

Marina didn't know what happened, one minute she was watching a new movie with her girlfriend and cuddling on the couch, the next she was hyperventilating and sobbing. Curled up in a ball on herself, her knees were folded up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them with a death grip, her nails were starting to dig into her skin but she couldn't feel it.

Pearl was just as confused, but she knew the octoling got like this sometimes, a symptom of her PTSD which they talked about before. The moment she realized Marina spiraling, she did her best to comfort her and try to prevent a full panic attack but her flashbacks were too intense. She sat with her girlfriend, trying to talk to her and get her to come back into reality, away from the torture her mind was subjecting her to.

"Rina, you're safe, you're here with me in Inkopolis, you're home. It's alright baby, please come back to me... please Marina," she pleaded in her gentlest tone, the one she only used for times like this.

Marina gasped in between sobs, trying to catch her breath but it only made her feel like she couldn't breathe at all, furthering her panic. The only sounds she could make were short syllables caught in her breath, completely incomprehensible. Pearl reached out and grabbed one of Marina's hands, leading it away from where she had been clawing herself by accident. She placed it on her chest where the octoling could feel her heartbeat and the movement of her body.

"Here, focus on me, kay? Feel me and match me, follow my rhythm, you're great at doin' that. Feel how I breathe like this, really slow and steady, just in... and out. In... and out." She demonstrated taking large, deep breaths through her nose and slowly exhaling. "Your turn now, just try it with me, in... and out."

Marina did her best to focus on Pearl, seeing the small inkling's body and feeling her heartbeat while she was breathing distracted her from the current pain she was in. She was still hiccuping, but she managed to take a somewhat normal breath in and exhale it quickly. Then again a second time, she tried following her girlfriend, but her body's involuntary reaction was making it hard. She didn't have control, everything was out of her control and she couldn't do anything-

"Pearlie- can't... I can't breathe Pearlie, I-"

"I know sweetheart, I know. You can do it, just look at me, just focus on my face and my movement and my voice, look in my eyes and see how many colors you find. Look at my skin and every single pore and mole I have, hear all the things I say and the sound of me moving on the couch, hear the fan cooling the house and the music playing,” she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes, desperately wanting the tears to clear from them. She didn’t know what else she could do to help, she hated feeling so useless like this. 

The octoling’s eyes darted from Pearl’s eyes to her face to her lips, she saw the gold and yellow and brown in her eyes. She saw the delicate swirls of color blend together outside her pupil and she traced the outline of Pearl’s eye markings with her gaze. Her skin was pale and clear, but Marina still counted every tiny freckle she could find no matter how insignificant it was. 

She could hear Pearl guiding the same breathing exercise she began earlier, and she hadn’t noticed that she had been following along with the rise and fall of the inkling’s chest. When did she stop gasping and start breathing? She listened in to the faint sound of the air conditioner buzzing throughout the house, a sound she mostly tuned out on a daily basis seemed so helpful now. The bluetooth speaker was connected to Pearl’s phone, playing a quiet piano melody of the Calamari Inkantation. 

For the first time since her panic began, Marina unclenched her hand and stretched out her fingers, gaining feeling back in them again. Her arms felt like they were vibrating, she could hardly feel any of her body earlier, but now at least the uncomfortable feeling of her arms being “asleep” was providing some sensation. She closed her eyes for a moment to fully take in the calming energy Pearl had created for her, breathing in the Inkantation melody like it was a lifeline. It always had been for her, for many people who heard it when they were at their lowest. 

“You’re okay Rina, I got you.” Pearl said softly, reaching out to bring her girlfriend into her arms. 

“Pearl,” Marina whispered as she fell into the embrace, wrapping her arms around the inkling’s small frame. She could feel the softness of Pearl’s sweatshirt on her skin, the tingling in her arms was fading much more now and she couldn’t get enough of the texture she could feel again. 

Her face was still damp, but her tears weren’t falling anymore. Her breath still shook upon each deep inhale but she didn’t feel restricted or unable to breathe like she had before. 

Pearl squeezed her tight, playing with her long brown and teal tentacles idly, “You’re safe, baby. You’re always safe with me, I’ll protect you from anything.”

Marina could only nod in confirmation, her voice too weak for her to speak without it failing her. Pearl didn’t need the words though, the two of them always had an understanding of what was left unsaid through their body language. It was okay that she couldn’t voice the words right now, the inkling knew them anyway. 

“I love you so much,” she sighed and rubbed the octoling’s back comfortingly. It had gotten late, the movie they were watching had ended and the house was fairly quiet now. She felt like she could fall asleep right there on the couch, holding her girlfriend tight and chasing away any bad memories or nightmares that may try to haunt her. 

Marina felt herself relaxing, after an emotional outburst like that she was exhausted. Her mind and body both were shutting down for the night, but it didn’t stop her from tracing her finger on Pearl’s chest in the shape of a heart - her way of responding, “I love you too.”

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin accidentally becomes Legolas/Katniss/Merida… you know the type;

He may be shitty at sword fighting, but Merlin begins to use a traditional bow and arrow and… actually becomes very good at it??

I imagine the first time he does it, it’s a complete fluke.

The five knights, The King, and Merlin are on their way back from yet another (frankly, ridiculous) quest.

They have been, of course, ambushed by a group of bandits, twenty to their six (six plus Merlin, though no one bar Lancelot knows about his magic, so he isn’t counted as a fighter). Though the knights outweigh them in skill, their sheer numbers makes it a… challenging, fight (meaning that they are winning, but far too slowly for their liking, and no one wants to admit it).

Now normally, Merlin hides behind a tree or in a ditch, and performs his spells quietly without being noticed, slowly helping and speeding up the fight. Except this time, the Gang was in the middle of a barren, open field, the bandits had disguised themselves with magic until the moment they attacked, and Merlin was right in the middle of all the action.

Everyone worried for his safety. There was nowhere for him to hide here, so they had to keep an eye on him, lest he get hurt (and Arthur sulked, or kicked off, depending on how badly he was hurt).

With nowhere to hide (and no branches to drop, or roots to trip people with), and one of the knights throwing a glance his way every ten seconds, he couldn’t use his magic.

He was currently on his hands and knees, Leon directly in front of him, Percival to his left, holding off four attackers between them (Merlin would marvel at how impressive that was if he weren’t otherwise preoccupied).

He keeps trying to get to Arthur, crawling between legs and over the groaning, injured bodies of bandits (he made a point to land sharp elbows and harsh knees into the more… sensitive areas), but with everyone moving around so rapidly, and the vicious swinging of swords and axes and maces inches above his head, he kept getting side-tracked and blocked and almost knocked out.

With a frustrated huff, he notices yet another bandit rounding on The King. Said huff turns into a pained gasp when he realises that Arthur hasn’t seen him yet.

The bandit raises his weapon in the air, seconds from bringing it down on Arthur’s back, but Leon is right there, and there are no branches to drop on him, and Arthur still hasn’t noticed!

The noise is too loud, grunts and yells and clashes of metal drowning out any sort of warning yell that Merlin could throw Arthur’s way, and he scrabbles around on the floor desperately; hands raking through sharp grass and over bloodied bodies as he stares in horror at the triumphant smirk on the future-King-killer’s face.

Time seems to slow (no magic, just adrenaline) as Merlin’s hands find purchase on a smooth, curved piece of wood. He picks it up without looking, at first intending to throw whatever it is as hard as he can in the bandits direction, before something (magic, instincts, periphery vision, who knows) tells him to look down.

He obeys, and widens his eyes as he sees the longbow gripped tightly in his right hand, and a stray arrow on the floor next to his left.

Merlin is no expert, only having actually hunted once or twice back home in Ealdor, when he was younger, but that was just enough knowledge for him to know roughly how to notch the arrow and fire. He pulls the two up quickly, a plan formulating in his head:

Step 1) Notch arrow.

Step 2) Close eyes.

Step 3) Magic? Hope?

Step 4) Come up with some sort of lie that explains how he managed to make the shot from sixty yards away, through a crowd.

Thankfully, it would appear that Merlin’s bad luck has given him a rest today; the first three steps go off without a hitch (the fourth will come a little later, when the battle is over), but he doesn’t have time to congratulate himself before he’s thrown into the fray, the bandits now obviously seeing him as some sort of threat.

Arthur finally defeats his own attackers, looking behind him in shock to see his unknown enemy lying on the floor, gurgling up blood and grasping weakly at the arrow through his neck. His head whips to the side, trying to find whoever had made the shot; his bewildered gaze meets Merlin’s for only a second before the servant is dragged to his feet, and promptly punched in the face.

He stumbles back and can just about hear Leon yell something from beside him but he pays it no mind, righting his balance once again and swinging his arm back, before bringing it down harshly on his newest attackers head. The resounding crack echoes over the field as the wood of the longbow splits in two on the bandit’s skull, and he drops like a sack of potatoes.

The fight doesn’t last much longer, each knight taking advantage of their enemies' fatigue, and Merlin using his now broken longbow to whack them in the shins or trip them up when they weren’t paying attention.

He was sad to see it broken, but two of his closest friends literally owned a blacksmith's, and he had easy access to the Castle’s armoury; he could get a hold of another one easily enough, as long as he survived the journey back home.

The battle finally came to a close. Everyone was exhausted, and each of them was sporting more than one hefty bruise, but they were all alive and there were no serious injuries, so they could be grateful for that. After Arthur had counted his men, and generally taken stock of things, he traipsed tiredly over to Merlin, who had abandoned his broken bow in favour of cleaning a still weeping cut on Elyan’s temple.

“Didn’t know you had it in you, Merlin.”

The servant ignores him at first, biting his lip in concentration as he carefully wipes the grime away from the wound. It was small, so an infection wouldn’t be too worrying, but it wouldn’t be comfortable and would make the scarring worse, so best to avoid it if at all possible. He hums in satisfaction as he leans back on his heels, Elyan gives him a grateful smile, and Merlin finally throws a glance Arthur’s way, before focusing back on threading the needle in his hands; it would only need two or three stitches, thankfully:

“Hmm. I'm not fond of hunting, but we had to for food back in Ealdor. Except we didn’t have fancy crossbows or hunting dogs, so we had to make do with hand-whittled longbows.”

Arthur nods, frowning slightly:

“Still, if I’d known you were that good, I would’ve demanded you had a bow of your own; that way us lot wouldn’t have to spend so much time making sure you don’t get yourself killed.”

Merlin smirked and quirked an eyebrow, but doesn’t look away from Elyan’s stitches, whispering an apology at the man’s wince before he speaks slowly, concentrating:

“Careful Sire, that almost sounded like a compliment.”

Elyan snorts out a laugh, but Merlin tuts and lightly slaps his leg disapprovingly, and he stills again. Arthur rolls his eyes with a huff:

“As if. Hurry up, I want to get moving as soon as possible.”

~

Arthur wasn’t the only one that noticed Merlin’s outstanding shot, and over the course of the next few day’s journey home, he received a multitude of compliments from the other knights. 

Including an hour long excited infodump about the history and use of longbows from Leon, which Merlin eagerly hung onto every word of, a fond smile on his face (Leon was a noble, and had it practically beaten into him to not ramble, so Merlin always did his best not to discourage the man. That, and the fact that it was actually very interesting, and useful, if he were to keep up this charade that he was an expert marksman).

When Merlin finally had a moment alone with Lancelot, a few days after they had gotten back, he burst:

“Please please tell me you know how to use a longbow??”

Lancelot raises his eyebrow from where he was sat on the bed in Merlin’s room. Merlin was staring at him with unconcealed desperation, and the knight chuckled as he answered:

“Why? It’s not like you need any more training, that was a cracking shot.”

Merlin huffed loudly, running his hands through his hair as he looked back at the knight:

“I used magic!! I closed my eyes so no one would see and I guided the arrow with magic! Now everyone thinks I’m some master marksman! This is bad. What if next time I can’t use magic, or what if someone notices that I have my eyes closed when I fire?”

Lancelot clamps a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to stop himself from giggling, but he gives up quickly, bursting into laughter at the younger man’s panic. Said younger man fumes, sputtering as he picks up one of the knight’s discarded boots and throws it at him:

“It’s not funny, Lance! I’m being serious, this is an actual issue!”

Lancelot calms himself, rubbing the mirth from his eyes as he takes a deep breath:

“Ok ok, sorry. Yes, I can teach you to use a longbow properly. Have you ever actually used one before, or was the hunting thing a cover?”

The red fades from Merlin’s face slightly as he realises the other man is intending to help him, his panic lessening:

“Sort of. Yeah, I went hunting with a bow a couple times, but not enough to be that good at it.”

Lancelot sighs fondly and nods his head:

“Well, that’s a start at least. Come on, I’ve not got patrol until after dinner, and Arthur thinks you’re busy helping Gaius, so we’ve got a few hours.”

~

So I imagine that’s how it goes for a while.

After their last big adventure, Arthur was reluctant to head out as a group again, wanting to give everyone time to recuperate and get back into the swing of things.

Merlin’s skills with a bow were bought up constantly by everyone, news had even reached Gwen (who gave him a proud smile and a cute little dance to congratulate him) and Gaius (who raised an eyebrow, and had much better skill than Lancelot at holding in his laughter). 

Gwaine, Elyan, and even Percival were desperate to set up targets and watch him shoot shit (their words), Leon wanted to talk about the specifics of technique and crafting, and Arthur... well. Arthur sounded like he was taking the piss, but there was something else in his tone that Merlin couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

Affection? Pride?

Probably not, probably jealousy and annoyance that Merlin is so effortlessly good at something that Arthur himself was average at at best.

Merlin manages to avoid it for a while, showing his “skills” off, but he and Lancelot are running out of excuses, and Arthur is starting to accuse him of being a fake who got lucky. Normally, things like that didn’t bother Merlin, and technically Arthur wasn’t wrong... he had got lucky, and cheated with magic, but that wasn’t the point. It was nice for Merlin, to be good at something, really good.

He was good at plenty of other things. Magic for starters, though not even Lancelot knew the full extent of his power in that area. But he cooked well (shown by the fact that the knights always scoffed the lot), he was a good physician (shown by the fact that the knights trusted him just as much as Gaius when it came to treating injuries and sickness), and he was a BRILLIANT servant, if he did say so himself.

But he never got any actual praise for that. Merlin hated to think badly of the knights, his friends, but they only complained when Merlin wasn’t there, never praised him when he was. Well, apart from Lancelot. And that had just started a bunch of rumours that they were... uh... boinking. 

(False. Anyone with more than two braincells could see that Sir Lancelot was head over heals in love with the newly-promoted Housekeeper, Guinevere, and that The King’s Manservant had an affinity for certain a blond prat-King.)

ANYWAY

It was nice for Merlin to have a skill that others thought worth complimenting, and with Lancelot monitoring his practice sessions, correcting any mistakes and offering congratulations whenever he did well, he hoped it wouldn’t be too long before he no longer had to come up with excuses.

Luckily, Merlin picked it up very quickly. 

Despite being clumsy by nature (though Lancelot is starting to suspect more and more that it’s all for show), the dark haired servant can consistently hit bullseyes from fifty yards within a month. The further away from the target he got, the less astounding his aim was, but that was to be expected, and another month later he could successfully hit a moving target from seventy feet.

A training session, around three months after he started properly practicing, he finally “gave in” to Gwaine’s begging. Lancelot helped him set up a bunch of targets, and fetched a bag of apples to throw.

Merlin put on quite the show, grinning at the uproarious applause he got from the knights when he hit every single bullseye, and every single thrown target. Thankfully the knowing, proud smiles between the servant and Sir Lancelot went unnoticed, and even Arthur gave him a clap on the back and an impressed nod.

~

The first time Merlin met the knights in the courtyard to find Leon holding a longbow and quiver of arrows out to him, he panicked slightly, but one reassuring smile from Lancelot boosted his confidence, and he took them with a quiet thank you.

(After the fifth time, Arthur huffed, and told him to just keep them. He was the only one that regularly signed them out of the armoury anyway, so it would just be easier if he just took possession of them.)

It settled everyone’s stomachs, knowing that not only did the group have a master marksmen, hiding in the trees and taking out enemies that they didn’t see coming, but that Merlin personally now had more than his frankly horrifying (or... horrifying as far as they were concerned) stealth skills to keep him safe.

And that (a master marksmen in the trees) is exactly what happened. 

In the early days, it involved a lot of bruises; Merlin could fire well, but firing and balancing at the same time? Took some getting used to, and involved a lot of falling out of trees at inopportune times.

The knights, Gwaine and Arthur especially, laughed endlessly at that, but quickly stopped after a particularly tired and irate and bruised Merlin fired an arrow so close by Gwaine’s crotch, that it stuck his trousers fast into the tree just behind him.

At first, it was meant to be just as back-up; Merlin was no knight. He still refused to wear armour, and Arthur didn’t want his manservant to make himself a target... at least that was his excuse.

Really, it was because (as far as Arthur was aware) Merlin had never deliberately killed before. Even now, years into his Kingship, and even longer into his knighthood, Arthur hated killing; it made him sick, and took a lot of practice at compartmentalization before it no longer bothered him as much.

Merlin was his manservant, his (best) friend, the love of his life (secretly). He was not a warrior, he was not meant to kill, he was meant to be protected from that.

But alas, Merlin did not get the memo, and the first patrol he went on with his bow and quiver slung over his shoulder, he killed at least five bandits.

After the fight, it was Leon who approached him first, a concerned look on his face despite Merlin’s nonchalant expression as he checked over the string for wear and tear:

“Are you feeling alright, Merlin? You got a few good shots in there, you’re not feeling sick?”

Merlin looked up at the hand on his shoulder and the soft words, a confused look on his face:

“Why would being good make me feel sick?”

Leon tilts his head in sympathy, which just makes Merlin even more confused:

“The man you killed the other month was spur of the moment, protecting your King. But you... you killed a fair few men today, Merlin. I know that can be incredibly difficult at first, I just wanted to check in.”

The others had finally walked over to join them; Percival, Elyan, Gwaine, and Arthur looking equally concerned, whilst Lancelot hid his proud smile. Merlin just raised an eyebrow at them:

“You seem to be under the impression that I’ve never killed anyone before?”

Everyone (bar Lancelot) looks taken aback at that, and Arthur frowns whilst Leon drops his hand in shock. The King speaks slowly:

“Merlin, are you telling us you’ve killed people before?”

The manservant clenches his jaw at that and looks back down at his bow, resuming his checking of the string and its knots. He speaks lowly, and the knights can tell it’s not a topic he’s fond of:

“Hmm. It’s a tough world, Sire. I’ve done what I had to, to keep myself and the people I care about safe.”

At his dark reply, conversation stopped, and didn’t resume for the rest of the day as everyone contemplated Merlin’s words.

That is, until he was the first one to successfully catch dinner later that evening. At which he got an incredulous look from Arthur when he made it back to camp with his half of the patrol:

“I thought you despised hunting??”

Merlin didn’t look up from the hares he was skinning, and the rest of the knights tuned in, curious:

“No. I hate hunting for sport; it shows hubris and cruelty. Hunting for food is not only necessary and natural, but humbling, if you do it right and honour every part of the creature.”

Arthur, ever the eloquent one, stared at him blankly, and said, rather dumbly:

“...What?”

Merlin huffed, finally looking up:

“Going after helpless animals on horseback with crossbows and hunting dogs is like giving yourself a huge pat on the back for winning a tournament against an unarmoured, unarmed, unconscious opponent, and then calling yourself strong and brave for daring to fight in the first place. It’s an egotistical act of violence for no other reason than cruelty for the sake of cruelty.-”

The knights looks on him with shock, Percival and Leon at least having the decency to look a little ashamed. Merlin looks back down to the hares, and everyone notices the careful way he cuts at the fur:

“I’ve taken these lives to feed us as a necessity. The meat will be eaten, but that isn’t all. I’ll take the bones home for Gaius, the marrow is useful in a lot of medicine. The fur can be repurposed for winter gloves or socks. The organs and other bits that we won’t eat: I’ll take for the pigs in the farms, or the dogs up at the castle. In using every part of them we are... honouring them, in a way. As a thank-you for their... sacrifice.”

Arthur looks a little dumbfounded. As royalty, he of course had never really considered the waste that comes about with hunting, but Merlin, a farm-boy from a rural village who barely scraped by every winter? Of course he saw a deeper meaning in hunting. He would have to.

Elyan is the first to break the silence:

“You almost sound religious, Merlin.”

Merlin looks up at him, a strained smile on his face. As magic incarnate, he has a particularly strong, temperamental relationship with nature and her creatures, a bond that some might call faith. To be wasteful or cruel in any way hurts him in more ways than one:

“Not really, I just have respect for nature, is all.”

No one mentions the thinly-veiled insult, but everyone creeps closer, wanting to see the way he disassembles the creatures for future reference.

~

It’s been eight months since that first, perfect shot.

Merlin’s skills with a longbow had become a normal, expected part of The Gang’s experiences, but the knights never stopped praising and thanking him when he saved their lives (something that Merlin still hadn’t quite gotten used), and The King had apparently not stopped thinking about it for barely more than a second. 

Yule was approaching quickly: Merlin, Gwen, and the Steward being constantly busy with preparations in the castle, the knights being run off their feet escorting emergency aid to the border villages for the harsh winter, and Arthur himself having every minute of the day taken up with speech writing, invite sending, and his other general King-during-Yule duties.

That however, was all to be expected, and of course did nothing to keep Arthur and Merlin from their annual traditions.

It wasn’t official, it wasn’t even spoken of, but the last evening of Yule, the night before the new year, the two of them always spent together.

The last feast of the year would finish, Arthur would stay to see his guests off, thank the staff for all of their hard work, and finally retire to his chambers, his tired manservant barely a hair’s breadth behind him. They would sit in front of the lit hearth (in comfy chairs that only they used), work their way through a jug or two of wine, exchange small gifts, and fall asleep in front of the fire. Their hands, dangling over the side of their chairs, seem to be creeping closer and closer with each passing year; though have yet to become entangled by morning.

This year was somehow no different, and very different, at the same time.

The King and his Manservant settled in their chairs, tired and already a little more than tipsy from the wine drunk during the feast. Arthur looked up at Merlin, the fond smile dropping from his face when he sees the other man’s features pulled into a contemplative frown:

“What’s on your mind, Merls? I don’t think I’ve seen you this serious since the start of the celebrations.”

Merlin looked up at him suddenly, his eyes wide, but he smiles and shakes his head:

“Nothing, nothing. Just thinking is all.”

Normally, Arthur would raise an eyebrow and let a scathing tease on the state of Merlin’s intelligence fall from his lips, but not tonight. This is the only night of the year that The King allows himself to entertain the idea that perhaps he and Merlin were more than friends, or at least could be. So instead he resumes his smiling, and looks back to the fire, taking another sip of his wine before responding softly:

“What about?”

Merlin hums, copying Arthur’s wine-sipping, before taking a deep breath:

“The future, mostly. You, me, Camelot. Secrets and truths, and when one might turn into the other. Soon, I think... yeah. Soon.”

Arthur huffs slightly in amusement. He knows that Merlin hides a great deal of himself, but he always becomes more cryptic after a few glasses of wine, like he desperately wants to say something and doesn’t have the power to stop himself from hinting at whatever it may be.

He asks his next question good-naturedly, a smile sweetened by wine gracing his face:

“The hell does that mean?”

Merlin lets out a short laugh, looking up at the other man:

“Oh, you know. Thinking about spilling all my deepest darkest secrets to you, at some point soon.”

Arthur snorts, saying, only for the sake of keeping up the charade they’ve built:

“You don’t have any secrets, Merlin. Certainly not any that are deep or dark.”

Once, Arthur would have believed that. Then, when he stopped believing it, he was angry about it, and now? Now, he finds he doesn’t mind so much. He is confident, he has faith, in both himself and in Merlin. He knows that those secrets are there, and Merlin knows that he knows, but that’s ok. Nothing either of them could reveal would tear them apart, at least not for long, so Arthur was happy to wait until Merlin was happy to share.

Merlin chuckled at Arthur’s response, shaking his head slightly before reaching down and picking up a small wrapped parcel that he’d stowed away before the feast:

“Come on, I’m a little nervous about your gift this year, so let’s get it over and done with.”

Arthur nodded, accepting the change in subject, and set his wine down so he could pick up the (much bigger) parcel by his own chair.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. After the first gift-exchange happened, Merlin had put his foot down and made Arthur swear to not go overboard on the expense side of things. Arthur may have been a prince, and now a King, but Merlin was still just a servant/physician; he could hardly afford anything worthy of a King. 

He had a feeling that Arthur might’ve broken his word this year, but where Arthur had likely gone overboard with expense, Merlin had definitely gone overboard with sentimentality.

They swapped parcels, Merlin placing the large, heavy box carefully at his feet as he gestured Arthur to open his first. Arthur got to it, tearing the paper off without a second of hesitation, and Merlin allowed himself to smile fondly at the child-like excitement on the blonde’s face.

Arthur’s brow creased as he dropped the paper to the floor, stroking soft fingers over the worn leather of an old, well-loved book. Merlin took deep, fortifying breaths as Arthur carefully opened the first few pages, butterflies in his stomach as Arthur’s eyes wandered the yellowed paper in curiosity.

The King looked up at him, amused confusion on his face as he asked:

“Is this yours? I didn’t know you could draw, Merlin.”

Merlin gulped, and shook his head as memories of the exquisite sketches filled his mind; detail-perfect renditions of the castle, the town square, waterfalls and knights in action and people that Merlin didn’t recognise (for the most part. Arthur evidently hadn’t gotten to any of the pages with young Uther on them).

“No, not mine. This one requires a little explanation-”

Arthur nodded, carefully closing the book and holding it protectively in his lap as he gave Merlin his undivided attention:

“-I mentioned off-handedly to Leon a few months ago that I thought the lack of... of paintings of the late Queen in the castle was odd.-”

Arthur gulped at the mention of his mother, but nodded with a small smile when Merlin paused:

“-He said that when she passed, The King had everything to do with her moved to the vaults. He couldn’t force himself to destroy any of it, but looking at it, day in and day out, was too painful. We found the keys, with the help of Geoffrey, and went down to have a look, see what we could find. We didn’t tell you about it because we didn’t want to disappoint you, in case we couldn’t find anything.-”

Merlin once again looked a little nervous at this, and reached a hand out towards Arthur. When the man didn’t flinch away (if anything, he leaned into it), he moved to grip his shoulder blade, running his thumb over the exposed skin at the base of The King’s neck.

“-We found... a lot. Old clothes and paintings mainly, some jewellery. But then I found that;-”

He nodded at the book in Arthur’s lap, and tightened his grip on his shoulder. Merlin spoke his next words so quietly that Arthur almost doesn’t hear him, a soft smile on his face:

“-your mother was quite the artist, Arthur. I knew you had to have it.”

Arthur gasped softly, his eyes widening as he looked down at the book:

“You... you think my mother drew these?”

Merlin smiled at him, moving his hand to squeeze Arthur’s wrist slightly, before dropping it entirely:

“Check the back page.”

Arthur took a deep breath before doing what Merlin said, handling the book with even more care than he had before now that he knows who it belonged to. He turned to the very last page, to see an inscription written in beautiful cursive. Merlin recited it aloud, having memorised the words weeks ago:

“My dearest son, my silly sketches are able to hold only a fraction of our Kingdom’s beauty. I know one day that you will see what I see, treasure it just as much, and make it your own. You have my support, forever and always, your loving Mother.”

Arthur bites his lip harshly, lifting the book to press his forehead against the words as he shuts his eyes tightly, though that does nothing to stop the tears. Merlin replaces his hand on The King’s shoulder as the man shakes. He sniffles slightly, putting the book back in his lap, though keeping his hands wrapped around it securely, as he looks to Merlin:

“Merlin, I... I don’t even know what to say. This is... amazing. I... Thank you.”

Merlin smiles, shaking his head slightly:

“Technically, it wasn’t even mine to give, it’s always been yours. But I thought it might make a nice surprise. There’s plenty of other stuff down there, I’ll show you in the morning.”

Arthur nods his head, wiping his tears as he carefully places the book on his side table and gestures to the box at Merlin’s feet. He was itching to scour through the book, dedicating every single line to memory, but whilst Merlin had been nervous about Arthur’s gift, Arthur was buzzing about Merlin’s, and he was desperate to see the man’s reaction.

Merlin huffs out a laugh, but picks the box up, noting once again how heavy it is. He sets about removing the paper, much calmer and more methodical than Arthur had been, with his face pinched in concentration.

He frowns in curiosity as he sets eyes on the wooden box. It had a hinged lid, and a logo that he’s certain he recognises burned like a brand into the corner. He can feel Arthur bouncing in his chair slightly, and looks up at him in amusement, laughing once again when he nods excitedly back down at the box.

He lifts the lid, and takes in a shocked breath.

Inside was a beautifully crafted long bow; the wood smooth and varnished and carved, and a leather quiver. The patterns embossed in the leather and carved in to the metal at the base, match those carved into the wood of the bow, and Merlin traces soft fingers over the intricate swirls, stopping with a teary smile at the Pendragon crest, carved just next to a Merlin bird.

He lets out a breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding as he looks up at the excited King:

“Arthur this is beautiful. Gods I almost don’t want to touch it, I feel like it should be on display behind glass.”

Arthur lets out a laugh, obviously pleased with Merlin’s reaction:

“Nope. It will be going with you every time you leave the city, and considering how much trouble we always seem to attract, I have no doubt that it will see a lot of use.”

Merlin laughs, closing the lid carefully and setting the box back on the floor, before launching himself bodily at Arthur. The blonde laughs, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s middle with no hesitation as the other man mutters endless thank-yous in his ear.

The servant finally pulls back, settling in his own chair again, and the two of them hope that the other puts the flush on their face down to the wine, and nothing else. They look to each other with wide grins on their faces, and Arthur breaks the stare first, taking another gulp of his wine before laughing jovially and speaking:

“Well. Here’s to an amazing year, and hopefully an even better one, starting in a few minutes.”

Merlin nods, lifting his own goblet to tap it against Arthur’s:

“Here’s to the past, that guides us-”

He gestures to the book on Arthur’s table:

“-and the future, that calls to us.”

He gestures to his new bow, and they both finish their wine off, a healthy flush to their cheeks and fond smiles on their faces.

They fall asleep in their respective chairs, the same as every year. 

In the morning, they wake with pounding headaches, a promise of a golden future, and hands intertwined.

~

THE END!!

We love a cutesy/hopeful ending😌

Like always lads, you wanna write it out in full, go for it, credit and tag me✌️

Head over to This List to see what I’m working on next, and cast your vote!

[spilledkauffie]

Meet Cute

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x DogMom!Reader Word Count: 1.8k T/W: fluffyyyy A/N: I know it’s a trope, but I love it!

Can you imagine Bucky with a puppy?!?!

Managing six dogs at once wasn’t exactly easy, but you did it rather gracefully, at least most of the time. Today however, you fumbled with your keys at your apartment door when two dogs suddenly, and swiftly wrapped around you, pulling opposite directions. With a small shocked squeak at being squeezed, you accidentally dropped both your keys and a leash, one out of six wasn’t bad, but it was still a loose puppy, trotting around the apartment hall like he owned the place. 

“Peanut!” You yelled out of sheer concern as the baby dachshund gallivanted towards the stairs, as if it were his prison break at last, “Peanut, sweetie, come here!” You called again, eyebrows furrowing during your attempt to untwist the other leashed from around you, as he got closer and closer to that first step which was far too steep for him to comfortably and safely make wihtout tumbling down the rest. 

You watched in sheer panic as his short stout front legs took the leap of faith with ears flying freely in the air like he was Dumbo. You anticipated the little yelp that would absolutely break your heart— Thankfully there was a soft landing platform neither of you had prepared for. Underneath Peanut appeared two hands covered in black gloves. The small dog fit perfectly in the hands as he wagged his tail, beyond proud of the heart attack he nearly gave you. Sighing, you leaned into the door of your apartment for support. 

“Whoa there,” the saviour said, bringing the pup up with him as he stood, having had to dip to catch the pup on the stairs, after glancing at the shining silver bone shaped name tag he met the dog’s eye line, “Peanut, was it?”

As the stranger made his way up the last few steps, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. While you didn’t know him personally, you had seen him around the apartment complex before. Heart still pounding, you shook your head at the pup who was plenty happy in the hands of his rescuer. 

“Peanut Butter Brittle Biscuit,” you full named the dog, causing him to tuck his tail, still wagging it though. Setting your hand, which was still being tugged on by the other five other dogs, on your hip, “you know better than to just run into strangers, it's rude.”

“Well, Peanut,” he looked to the pup in all seriousness, “I’m Bucky. There, we aren’t strangers anymore,” he affirmed, shaking the dogs tiny little paw gently, “and so we’re not strangers,” he looked to you, “I’m Bucky, and you are?” You smiled at his flirty tone, “unless you’d like to go by 4C? Keep it professional?”

“Four- C?” You gave a puzzled look.

Bucky pointed above and behind your head, with the hand he was not literally cradling Peanut with. Quickly glancing you realized it was your apartment number. Now feeling a flush of embarrassment, you took a moment to face him again, squeezing your eyes closed. 

“Oh yeah,” you nervously laughed, before giving him your name as well, you liked the way he repeated it to himself, “and you’re 2E, right?”

“Do we know each other?” he asked, tilting his head with a smirk.

“Oh no, I just, sometimes I see Yori go down there, and- I’m not stalking you, I promise,” you frantically explained, waving your hand, wrapped in dog leashes. 

“No,” Bucky smiled, letting you know that was not what he was thinking, “I think I’d hear you if you were though,” he looked down and around at the literal pack of dogs sitting and standing around you. The pack ranged from a German Shepherd to a Golden Retriever to a Dachshund to a Pomeranian to a Corgi to, lastly, a dopey Great Dane.

“Most definitely,” you laughed, trying to calm your nerves, “we’re not the most graceful bunch, you had a display of that just a moment ago, which thank you so, so much.” You placed your hand over your chest, as an expression of relief. 

“No problem,” he said with a sincere nod and smile, petting back the dog’s ears, “looks like Peanut here is a real daredevil.”

“You have no idea,” you glanced at the puppy, “he’s a troublemaker and thinks he’s invincible.”

With that Peanut interjected giving the most babyish attempt at a deep roo, sassily from where Bucky held him still.

“Talker too, huh?” Bucky gave a shocked glance at the Dachshund who was still resting comfortably with his chest being cradled by Bucky's hand.

“Yeah, well we’re 40 minutes late to D I N N E R,” you spelled out the last word in a whisper, “Fridays are always long days,” you gestured around you to the bigger dogs with toys covered in drool, they just stared up at you, sighing you collected yourself, “they’re park days.” 

“Ohh, I see,” Bucky nodded, “I'd hate to keep you any longer then.” 

With a soft ‘okay’ and a smile, you held your hands out to take Peanut back. There was a brief moment in the exchange where your hands touched his and he gave a ‘sorry’ knowing it was probably cold against your skin. As Peanut hovered with both your hands on his chubby little sides. Your Dane tugged one way again, while the Retriever was determined to go the other, pulling you and Bucky closer together. Practically chest to chest, save Peanut being the barrier between the two of you.

“Oh my gosh,” you whispered, looking down immediately, even though there was hardly room between you two to do so, literally feeling the heat rise to your cheeks, you closed your eyes, “this is not happening.”

“I’ve been in worse situations,” Bucky remarked cooly, keeping his gaze focused on you, finding it surprisingly cute at how flustered you were around him. It’d been a long time since he had felt someone had real genuine human emotions regarding him. 

Neither of you took your hands away from the other’s. Standing there you bit in your lip, calming your rising pulse as you were now close enough to smell his cologne. 

“I’m-” you started, finally looking up, “so sorry.” 

“It’s really okay,” Bucky chuckled, not wanting you to feel as worried as you were, but you just knit your brows together and gave another apologetic look, “honestly, I could- I could do this all day.” There was a pause, then you smiled, ducking your head to hide your face against Peanut who was really becoming a star matchmaker, “I think Peanut and I are going to be very good friends by the end of this.”

Lifting your head with a nod, you sighed, stroking the pup’s ear, for a moment before you guided the other dogs around to give you some more space. Bucky respectfully took a step back, somehow still holding Peanut after all that. You opened your apartment door and the dogs rushed in, you let each leash fall off your hand as they entered. You said their name with each one to keep track of them.

“And lastly,” you exhaled, reaching your arms out again for the troublemaker of whom Bucky surrendered, though he was getting fairly fond of him, “well, at least let me invite you in? Have a drink on me? Something?”

“That’d be great,” Bucky said, gesturing for you to lead the way. 

Once you were both in and Bucky shut the door behind him, you let Peanut loose and immediately he ran to his dinner bowl, waiting in anticipation. Offering Bucky to sit at the bar, you set two cold bottles on top of the counter, but before you joined him you got out six dog bowls, making him smile.

“How long have you had them?” Bucky asked, opening his bottle relaxedly with his hand.

“They vary, some for years, but the most recent,” you nodded to Peanut, “only a few months.”

“So uh, why so many?” Bucky inquired. 

You squeezed your shoulders up, looking around at all of them, “they needed a home,” you said, soft smile, “each of them came from a broken place, of hurt and pain. That’s all they knew before I took them in, and,” you shook your head smiling wider, looking over to Bucky, “if I could be a part of their healing, I knew I had to be. I can’t think of leaving something to suffer if there’s something that can be done to help.”

“That’s-” Bucky looked to the floor as you rounded the counter, to sit next to him on another bar stool, having just set all the bowls down, “that’s a really great mindset.” 

“What about you?” you took a sip, “any pets?”

He swallowed shaking his head, “no, I have a weird work schedule,” he squinted at his own reasoning, hoping it didn’t sound too dumb.

“Oh gotcha,” you nodded, before gesturing with the top of the bottle, “well Rodgers seems to like you.”

Your gesture drew Bucky to look down, sure enough set atop his thigh was your German Shepherd's head, looking up with big eyes and slowly wagging his tail. Bucky pet the dog’s ear, “Rodgers?”

“Yeah, you know after Captain America? He’s ex-military himself so I thought it was fitting,” you bent down to pet the dog yourself.

There was a quietness, Bucky looked away from the dogs and you for a moment. Biting the inside of his lip he felt something he hadn’t in a long time, though he tried to repress it. A part of him felt it was a sign, another part of him told himself to ignore it. Takin another swig, he made his choice

“Hey, if you ever. . . need help with them, I’m,” he hesitated, “I’m usually free Fridays, or- park days.”

“I’d love that,” you smiled leaning back up, “how bout I get your number so we can plan a da-,” you quickly changed your sentence, “a park day.”

While you got up to grab your phone, he flipped open his, seeing the very few contacts and the messages from only one person. Wincing he was a little nervous, this meant opening up. You returned, asking for his number, to which he willingly gave you. Finishing the drinks he said he really should head home, you completely understood, already surprised that he stuck around that long after the incident earlier. 

With casual goodbyes, you shut your door and he headed back downstairs. Taking his gloves off, he suddenly felt his phone vibrate. Sitting on his couch he took it out of his pocket. Seeing your name pop up with a “hi 4C here, texting you like I said I would” and a smiley face with a dog emoji made him smile to himself. 

He opened it-- it was time to start answering messages, it was time he found his healing.

[under-sedationnn]

the arcana: main six reacting to injured! reader

anonymous: Could u do m6 reacting to mc coming home injured? I want some hurt/comfort >:))

Warnings: talk of being injured, blood. if that bothers you or tiggers you in anyway, please scroll away! i want this to be a safe place, only :)

thanks for the request anon!! i hope you enjoy!! <3 requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!

- tries his very very best to stay calm

- you can see panic bubbling under the surface

- faust is on high alert

- slithers around your shoulders and squeezes you for a hug

- "friend! hurt!"

- doesn't immediately ask what happened, just gets you to a comfortable place to be cleaned up

- then, and only then, will he brave to ask what happened to you

- or who did this to you

- wipes the blood from your skin with very gentle swipes

- winces when you wince, and apologizes profoundly

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "i fell in the market, tripped over a stone"

- "and nobody helped you?"

- in this case he's disappointed with the bystanders, but does not become angry

- in a situation where someone hurt you?

- oh god

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "yeah, well, somebody had their eye on the same apple i picked up. somehow, though, they managed to push me to the ground and steal it from my hands."

- i don't even think he would know what to say

- and asra is not really the type to march out into the streets of vesuvia and seek to challenge the one who hurt you

- but he would certainly hold a grudge against whoever it was if he did find out

- and would feel absolutely awful about letting you get hurt

- his mind would race about the possibility of losing you again

- because he simply can't handle it

- and what if that person had been particularly violent or malicious? what if you had been taken??

- you'd have to comfort the hell out of him to make sure he knows that you're okay

- "asra, hey, i'm fine! i can handle myself, you know that"

- "you're right, and i know you're right. it's just hard"

- "it's still hard for me, too. the market still makes me a little nervous and i got caught a little off guard, is all"

- that would make him feel better

- would finish patching up your wounds and would make sure to bring you to julian the next day if they were too bad for him to fix or needed stitches

- would also create a special brew to help with the pain and ease you to sleep

- "why don't i go down to the market tomorrow?"

- "why? so when you pick a fight over apples, i can pay you back for all of this high quality medical treatment?"

- "well of course, surely you didn't expect all this tender love and care to be free" *wink*

- panicked doctor mode enabled

- immediately begins checking you over, asking questions

- something tells me it would be a head injury of some sort

- "oh darling, what happe- you're bleeding!"

- "julian, i'm okay! it's just a little scratch"

- "no no no you might need stitches, come sit down. i'll go get my kit!"

- there's really no use in arguing

- he has cold ass hands, so he tries to warm them up before he begins suturing the wound

- tries to be gentle, and his expert hands move quickly without any snagging

- "so, how did this happen?"

- his voice is literally trembling

- "well, i was in the clinic grabbing the list of ingredients we need for our next grocery trip and there was a puddle of... something on the floor. i slipped and hit my head on the corner of your desk"

- immediately thinks it's his fault

- like "oh shit i should have cleaned better that could have killed y/n and then what would i have done-"

- doesn't necessarily voice this, but you can tell by the silence that follows that he's feeling really guilty

- would kneel for you, head on your knees

- "y/n, i am so sorry"

- "juli, it's really okay, i should have watched where i was going"

- "i'll make sure to clean better from now on, okay?"

- would guard you throughout the night in case of concussion

- nurse juli <3

- but let's say someone had put their hands on you

- would patch you up the same way, and apologize profusely for not being there with you

- tuck you into bed and fetch mazelinka to keep an eye on you throughout the night incase of a concussion

- would most definitely be self destructive and seek that mf out

- maybe not successfully, but would try his hardest

- "i'll be back in the morning, get some rest"

- "I can find them myself if I want to, you know"

- embarrassed blush

- because he KNOWS you can take care of yourself

- "of course, but right now you're hurt. as your partner, i will do what must be done on your behalf darling"

- probably shows up the following morning with battle scars of his own

- the guards found you in the garden, passed out in the maze

- blood trickled down your arm, a large gash marking your bicep

- ran you up to the palace and immediately to the medical wing

- them]n nadia gets word

- the calm, collected queen act disappears

- abandons anything she's doing, anybody she's talking to

- "we will finish this at a different time, i have more important matters to attend to"

- she is so worried and it's honestly adorable

- very much giving "where tf are they?" energy

- god i love her so much

- anyways um

- asks the nurses over and over what happened, if you're okay, etc.

- watches the physicians and nurses like a hawk as they clean the wound and suture the cut

- and they're so intimidated lmao they never come face to face with her literally ever

- brushes your hair back from your face as they do so

- holds your hands

- would demand that you be brought to her sleeping chamber

- so that's where you wake up! how cute

- she's laying beside you, her brows furrowed

- maybe even her eyes are a little hazy

- "y/n, sweetheart, do you remember what happened?"

- patiently waits for your answer, you're still a little groggy

- you were either attacked by an animal and passed out from the fright

- or you were attacked by an armed person and was knocked out

- either way, the guards are on it

- nadia isn't letting whoever or whatever did this get away without a fight

- the palace is meant to be a safe haven for you

- for the both of you

- "well, don't you worry, we'll take care of that"

- you try to sit up but she won't let you

- "oh no, you must stay down, y/n. you are possibly concussed from the fall"

- "oh okay, sorry"

- "is there anything i can get you?"

- the countess of vesuvia, serving you in your time of need

- "just some water would be nice"

- "of course, i'll have some brought up right away"

- i literally feel like he would just start crying straight up

- cause like he has some problems anyway

- he big sad boi

- and you coming home to the hut bleeding from a gash in the arch of your foot is not helping

- picks you and carries you to the bed without a word

- just starts examining the cut

- inanna is also very concerned

- she licks the blood from the cut, she's trying to be helpful

- meanwhile muriel is stumbling around the hut looking for anything to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, bandage it, anything

- but he's not the best about keeping that stuff in stock

- keeps looking back at you with worry in his eyes

- he doesn't know what to do

- "muriel, let me see if i can contact asra. maybe he or julian can bring me a salve. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need stitches"

- low-key makes him feel worse

- cause he feels like he's unable to care for you and keep your safe

- even tho this was just an accident

- he's breathing really fast, his anxiety creeping

- agrees anyway, but goes to get them himself

- "i'll be back soon, just keep this piece of cloth pressed against it"

- cause you're bleeding like a lot

- inanna stays behind

- he returns very quickly with julian in tow, though he doesn't look happy about it

- leaves the hut without another word

- julian gets to work immediately

- "so, you cut your foot i see"

- smartass.

- "yeah, muriel always tells me to put on shoes when i walk in the woods but i love to feel the grass beneath my feet"

- julian chuckled at this

- "and i'm assuming you, what, stepped on a rock?"

- "...yeah, sliced it right open"

- after julian is done cleaning up the cut, he tells you to just stay off of it for a while and make sure it doesn't get infected

- once he's gone, muriel trudges back into the hut

- "muriel, baby, it was just a cut it's not a big deal"

- but his eyes look hurt, and you beckon him toward the bed

- "hey," your hands on his cheeks, "i'm okay, really"

- "sorry, i just got scared. blood is still a trigger for me and since you got hurt in my woods, i felt like it was my fault"

- "muriel, of course it wasn't your fault"

- he really needed a hug

- after this instance, he made sure to keep medical supplies in the hut and you promised to try and wear shoes in the woods more often than not

- "i'll try my best to be more careful. deal?"

- sweet lil smile

- "deal."

- "oh my god, y/n, what the hell happened??"

- you were tending the garden

- without her supervision

- and the garden sheers might have sliced into the palm of your hand

- deep

- brings you over to the sink and runs water over the cut, covering it with a towel when the dripping blood had been washed away

- girl is on the move

- cause she knows what to do! love that

- low-key a main reason why julian managed to live as long as he has

- pepi is curiously perched atop one of the counters, peering down

- finds her personal first aid kit she had stashed in the bathroom

- guides you over to sit on the counter while she tries to figure out what to do

- "damn, you really cut yourself, y/n"

- "sorry! i think i just got a little carried away"

- she giggles at that, though she is still worried about the fact that it won't stop bleeding

- gently wraps the cut in gauze and adheres it together

- places a kiss to your fingertips

- "all done! no more gardening for you!"

- "hey, why not?"

- "well you don't want that cut to open back up again and again, do you?"

- "no"

- "alright then," she smiled, moving to put away the first aid kit again, "and we're going up to the palace medical wing first thing tomorrow morning to make sure it's not infected"

- eye roll

- "yes ma'am" you mocked

- even though you know it's just because she loves you

- "but since you got hurt, you want me to bake you some cookies?"

- "only if you let me eat the dough!"

- good god do i love this man

- but he is so self-absorbed it's actually insane

- and I feel like he wouldn't even notice at first

- cause he's too focused on himself

- gazing into the mirror without a care in the world when you walked in

- "y/n, thank goodness you're home, how do you feel about these pants?"

- you just hobbled to the nearest seat, hand resting over the gash on your knee

- mercedes and melchior were lazing across a rug at the base of his mirror, their attention set on you

- "u-um, yeah, they look good"

- literally just trying not to bleed out, over here

- "good? oh really, now, y/n don't they look amazing?"

- "yes, they look ama- ow, damnit"

- then he turned around

- immediate shock and worry! oh no oh no y/n is hurt!

- mercedes and melchior walked over first, whining as they took in the cut, brushing around the edges

- lucio raced over, squatting down in front of you, and began examining the cut

- "hey, hey, what happened?"

- "i accidentally tripped on my walk in the garden and scraped my knee on the cobblestone"

- he was lightly touching around the cut, gauging how sensitive it was

- when you flinched he stopped, looking into your eyes with a soft "sorry"

- "i think i need to go to the palace infirmary"

- "oh there's no need, i can take care of you!"

- you were not convinced he could take care of you, at least not well

- "uh, lucio, are you sure?"

- he looked slightly offended, at that

- "you know, y/n, i did fight in battles at one point. i have not only tended to my own wounds, but the wounds of others, as well"

- you giggled at the thought

- "much to your protest, though, i'm sure"

- he moved to the small cabinet of medical supplies in the ensuite to your bedroom, returning to your side with it in hand

- "at points, but i don't mind helping you in the slightest"

- for all of his antics, his soft side was enough to make you fall in love all over again

- and although i know he would take care of you in literally any situation, i can't say for certainty that he would stick around and place nurse lucio for long if a person had hurt you

- attacked you

- much like nadia, the guards would be sent out without a second thought, lucio leading the pack in the search for you aggressor

[slasherhaven]

Bo Sinclair X Reader

Part 1 HERE

People wanted a part 2, so here you go!

Soulmate AU: shared pain and shared scars part 2:

What had started with you and some friends trying to get a fan belt for their car and maybe some mild flirting with the man who owned the garage, had all ended in hell breaking loose. Bo had been charming and helpful, you had felt an instant connection to him, the type of connection that soulmates so often talked about.

At first you had been disappointed that he didn't seem to recognise your scars, proving he wasn't your soulmate, but now you were thankful for it. At least you weren't cosmically tied to the man who had just turned and attacked your friends.

He had shot Wade and Carly had disappeared. You had been dragged to a basement beneath the garage and left there, him promising to deal with the rest of the group you came with before returning.

Out of the people you came on the road trip, you only really knew Carly. She was the only one you would truly have to mourn but seeing Wade shot like that and knowing the others were next was undeniably traumatic.

Left alone in the basement, you tried to find a way out but there was only a heavy locked door between you and your freedom. When trying to open it failed, you settled for banging on it and shouting for help. You hoped that some other of Carly's friends would come looking for the three of you when you were gone for so long, maybe they would hear you and you could get out of here.

It was impossible to tell how much time passed, hands becoming bloodied from repeatedly hitting the door, throat becoming sore from shouting. But you were finally interrupted by the sound of a car approaching. You stopped and stepped away from the door, looking up at the ceiling as the car came to a stop.

God, you hoped it was somebody from the camp...

You began to panic as you heard feet descending the stairs outside of the locked door, moving yourself further away from it. You heard the lock clicking before the door was pushed open, Bo stepping into the dimly lit basement.

"Stop banging on the fucking door" Bo snapped, clearly frustrated despite likely not having heard it if he was out in his truck...

You didn't respond but he moved closer and you noticed that he had left the door open. At this point, you had run out of options and had to take every opportunity that presented itself.

You suddenly darted towards the door, trying to pass him, but it was fruitless. Bo quickly caught you, grabbing you by the arms and standing in front of you to further block your path. You thrashed and fought against him but it was no use.

"The others?..." you asked, dread clear in your voice.

"My brother is dealing with them" Bo informed you, like it was nothing.

"...are you going to hurt me?" you were already sure of the answer, you just didn't know what he wanted from you. Why had he left you in the basement rather than just disposing of you like he had done the others.

"No. That would be, quite literally, self destructive" he chuckled darkly. He was too calm, you just knew what he had done to your friends...he had done before.

"What?" you didn't understand his comment.

Bo grabbed your wrist, his bloody hand wrapped completely around the scarring on your wrist, almost like it was instinctual. As he released your other arm, you tried to pull your hand away but his grip was too tight. With his free hand, he pulled up the sleeve his coveralls, revealing scarring that was identical to yours.

You stared at the twisted skin, processing what this meant. You had been right from the beginning when you first saw him, this was your soulmate.

"No...no" you shook your head, trying harder to pull your wrist out of his grasp. You just kept repeated the word 'no' as tears streamed from your eyes. How could you soulmate be somebody who did such awful things.

"Shhh, it's alright" Bo cooed, almost ironically. He continued to shush you as he pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

Your brain told you that you should be a far away from him as possible, to kick and scream, but his embrace was strange comforting. Of course it was, you were fated to find comfort in his arms. Destined to meet him and love him. The universe wanted you both together, it was meant to be.

Maybe that was why your body began to relax as you cried into his chest, clutching at his coveralls. You hated him, you wanted to hate him, you needed to hate him. Yet, you were destined not too.

Bo kept you held against his chest and you couldn't even find it within yourself to pull away, finding comfort in the source of your pain.

Slowly, the sinking realisation settled. If you were Bo's soulmate, there was no way he was letting you leave. He had already made sure that there was nobody left to tell anyone where you were. If anyone eventually worried about your group going missing, they would assume you all ran off somewhere or eventually decide that you were the next mysterious case of missing people. It was unlikely anyone would track you down to a random, deserted, little town.

"You're home now" Bo whispered into your hair.

You sobbed at the realisation, and yet you clung tighter to him. He just held you tighter.

Bo smirked to himself as he ran a hand over your hair, only to have you shift closer to him. He knew that you hated him but he was confident that would change over time. Just from the way you were acting now, he knew he could win you over, and he knew you wouldn't be leaving him.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up" you didn't respond as he pulled away, grasping your arm before guiding you out of the basement.

He kept hold of your arm as he walked you through Ambrose, towards the house he had taken you too earlier that day. As you were walking along the road, a familiar truck pulled up beside you both, bringing you to a halt.

Lester, the man who had brought you into Ambrose in the first place, hopped out of the truck.

"Everything's cleaned up" he informed Bo before looking at you and grinning. "they're your soulmate?" Bo just nodded, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side. "It must be your lucky day" Lester teased his brother, who only rolled his eyes. You frowned a little. Meeting your soulmate was meant to be a good, a lucky, day...unfortunately this had also been one of the worst days of your life.

"Go see how Vincent is doing, alright?" Bo asked, sending his younger brother away.

Lester just rolled his eyes before climbing back into his truck. He had wanted to stick around and get to know his brother's soulmate a bit more, but he understood that you were probably shaken.

Finally, you and Bo returned to his house and he led you into the kitchen, where he sat you down in a chair. You stayed silent, processing, as he washed his hands in the sink, washing the blood away.

Once his hands were clean, he wet a cloth and returned to you, pulling a chair out opposite you before sitting down.

He grasped your hands and you allowed him too, letting him pull them into his lap as he began to wipe away the blood.

"You're in shock and you're angry but you'll come around" Bo sounded sure about that but you supposed he had every right to be, you were his soulmate after all. You had to come around. "You know I can't hurt you, or let anyone else hurt you, right?" he asked and you just nodded. Of course he can't hurt you, it would only be hurting himself. Literally. At least you had that peace of mind.

You watched as he cleaned your hands, it was almost tender. A complete contrast to the cruelty he had treated the rest of your group with.

"Why did you do all this?" you asked quietly when it fell silent.

"I'll explain everything later" Bo promised, knowing he had a lot to explain and that he had to tell you everything. You would find out one way or another.

You just nodded, hanging your head. "Hey, c'mon now, the worst is over" he reassured you, lifting a hand to wipe a tear from under your eye with his thumb. "I know this probably ain't how you expected to meet your soulmate but you're gonna be just fine, darlin'" he did sound genuinely sympathetic, at least to some extent.

Removing his hand from your face, Bo stood from his chair, going to drop the now bloodied rag into the sink.

You weren't sure what came over you but you quickly grabbed his hand, stilling him. You just felt safer, the closer he was. A instinctual part of you wanted him to remain close, as if it didn't understand the nuance of the situation. He seemed a little surprised but turned to you expectantly.

"How did you get those scars?" you asked. Something you had wondered all your life.

"You still feel bad for me?" Bo asked, almost sarcastically, like he couldn't imagine you having any sympathy for him anymore.

"You were a child...I would never blame you for that" you shook your head.

"...I'll tell you later, okay? When you actually want to talk to me" Bo promised. You opened your mouth but quickly shut it again, knowing he was right. How could you talk to him about something like that after what he just did? You shouldn't have even asked.

You reluctantly released his hand, letting him dispose of the cloth.

You didn't want to admit it but you knew that eventually you would want to talk to him, that your fated connection would become much stronger than your determination to hate him for the horrible things he has done. There would come a day when you simply...didn't care anymore, and you would want him by your side despite it all.

[kiyosamu]

painful reminders

(part 1/3)

——— ♡ ———

pairing: suna rintaro x female reader

genre: angst to comfort

cw: brief mentions and descriptions of assault (not from suna, not domestic violence), reader experiences post-traumatic stress, panic, anxiety

——— ♡ ———

“hey, i’m here now. you’re safe.”

the words echoed in your mind for a few seconds too long. you were hardly able to register their meaning while under the influence of your deep fear. you felt nothing but dread; impending pain and horror that you were sure was coming at any moment.

——— ♡ ———

suna slumped his body on the window of the train, trying to contort his larger than average build into a position comfortable enough to get a few moments of rest before arriving at his stop.

“attention passengers. there is a situation and we need to make an emergency stop at the next station. please gather your belongings and file out of the train as soon as we arrive.”

weird, he thought. must be another petty robbery. maybe someone refusing to get off of the tracks, or something exciting, like a mass murderer.

suna caught himself just as he had the thought, stopping his process immediately.

he shook his head, unimpressed at his ability to appear removed and disinterested no matter the situation. not to mention the scenarios running through his mind; scenarios that would terrify any sane person with an ounce of emotion no matter who they were.

suna scoffed and sat up to grab his bag.

of course, he knew it was nothing like that. that’s probably why he didn’t stay in his head and scare himself with anything further. why bother upsetting yourself by simply letting your mind run away from you? stupid, he thought. he never understood overthinkers. not only was it not productive, but it was exhausting.

thankfully, this station was only about a ten minute walk from the next, the one he was supposed to get off at. even though he was coming home from a tiring practice, the athlete never seemed to run out of stamina.

suna squinted as bright blue and red lights lit up the dark streets. rain began to pour and suna cursed his odds. the forecast predicted only a 10% chance of rain, and he just so happened to be getting caught in that unlucky percentage when he had to walk even further just to get back home.

he groaned and pushed his hair out of his face. the rain soaked his clothes, his sweatpants and shirt clinging to his body. suna felt disgusting and suddenly the thought of a hot shower was even more appealing than the leftover onigiri he had waiting in his fridge.

just as another thought of self pity was about to cross his mind, another police car flew by him.

must be pretty bad, wonder what happened..

that thought was as far as his curiosity went. if it was major, he’d probably hear about it on the news or in the paper. if not, well, it really was none of his business.

as he turned down the next street, he saw four police cars all blocking off the station. police tape sectioned off the area and officers stood with their arms crossed and chests pushed out as other vehicles pulled in.

he blinked a few times, taking in the scene for a second before realizing he’d stopped walking. suna brought himself back to reality and stared at the ground with his hands in his pockets. while he was shamelessly nosy as a teenager, he’d grown into quite the reserved young adult who knew how to mind his business.

unfortunately, that new trait flew out the window the second he heard a familiar voice.

——— ♡ ———

“officer, please. he said he’d come back for me, i don’t feel safe going home… i don’t have family here, i don’t have anywhere else to stay-“

“look. you’re just scared, but you’re not injured.” the man stared down at you with an emotionless glare. “there’s nothing more we can do for you. the suspect assaulted two other women and they’re cooperating. why are you asking us for more when we’ve done everything we can so far?”

his voice was as cold as your quickly declining temperature, the rain soaking through your t-shirt and causing you to shiver.

“he.. he held a knife to my throat. there’s-“ you lifted your hand to lightly trace the marks on your neck that had been squeezed in place only an hour before. “he said he was going to kill me but…” you trailed off, the night’s events playing over and over in your mind with no indication of stopping the endless repeat. “but then he saw the lights and ran. he said he’d be back for me…”

the officer sighed.

“criminals often utter threats to make their victims submit to their words and give in. they want to commit their crimes as quickly as possible. we’ve gone over this, you didn’t know him. he doesn’t know anything about you-“

“but what if he does?!” you shouted, tears streaming down your cheeks before you’d even realized you were crying.

“listen ma’am, you need to calm down-“ the officer grabbed your wrist and you ripped it away from him, covering your mouth and staring in disbelief at the officer. you were in shock. you couldn’t process what was going on, let alone what had happened. you didn’t know what to do.

you froze as you felt an arm around your shoulder. a familiar voice spoke your name with tenderness and a low, empathetic tone that you’d never heard from him.

“i’ll take her home, officer. she’s my neighbour.”

while that was true, you were still surprised at the gesture. rintaro suna had been your neighbour for 3 years. the two of you were friendly; you’d been to each other’s homes a handful of times and sometimes would share a meal or drop off some food that was too much for one person.

you were both single, living alone in your apartments. although you weren’t super close, you always felt like he was a friend. a slightly distant, reserved, quiet friend, but a friend nonetheless.

the two men exchanged words for what felt like an eternity before suna squeezed you closer to him, guiding you out of the area and walking you towards your apartment.

you opened your mouth to say something. anything. even just a greeting, a thank you for the escort home.

when you stopped walking, he stayed close to you and looked down at your expression.

you opened your mouth to say something but the moment you did, you relived the traumatizing situation once again and fell into a deep panic.

“i-i-… no-n..” your words broke as you felt your body shaking. the cold rain was doing nothing to help your condition, and if you could describe it in any way, it was like losing control of your own sanity. you felt the panic wash over you as the phantom pressure of the knife pressed against your windpipe - your mind quite literally putting you in a choke hold.

“hey. i’m here now, you’re safe.”

the words echoed in your mind for a few seconds too long. you were hardly able to register their meaning while under the influence of your deep fear. you felt nothing but dread; impending pain and horror that you were sure was coming at any moment.

suna wrapped his arms around you protectively. he didn’t know why, he didn’t even really know what was going on, but he knew that all he wanted to do in that moment was to prevent anything further from hurting you.

you clutched at his hand and dug your nails into his skin. you didn’t mean to, you didn’t even realize you were doing it. suna would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, but he ignored it and held you close against him until you felt like you were okay to walk again.

when you caught your breath, you pulled his hand away from your face.

“i’m sorry… i don’t know what happened.” you choked out.

“you had a panic attack.” he said quietly. “we don’t need to talk about anything right now, though, okay? let me get you home. you went through something horrible and you’re freezing cold. it’s just a little more up the road, can you make it?”

you nodded, dropping your hands to your side and suna instinctively held onto the one closest to him.

“i’m scared to stay in my apartment… alone…” you whispered.

“you can stay with me.” suna said this with more certainty than suggestion. if anything, it was a statement. he was planning on having you stay over or even him staying at yours. whatever worked, he just didn’t want you to be alone and he knew you had nobody else to call.

he had never planned to get involved in your personal business like this. he didn’t want to be the weird neighbour, and he already worried if bringing you food some nights would make you uncomfortable.

those thoughts were always put to rest whenever you smiled at him and graciously accepted his gestures. your warm smile and the way your cheeks made your eyes squint when you were really happy was an image he’d always have trouble shaking out of his head for the following days.

suna snuck a glance at you as the two of you started to walk again. your smile that he swore could light up an entire city was nowhere to be seen.

he would do anything to see that smile on your face right now.

you looked like a shell of what you once were. he knew that you’d experienced something traumatic, but seeing you like this made him feel something hard in his chest.

you didn’t deserve that.

a painful squeeze developed deep inside him when he thought of what your face must have looked like when it had happened. a sweet girl who seemed to always bring out the bright side in any situation. you’d made him sweets (that he secretly broke his athletic diet for) when he’d lost an important game, and always made him smile whenever he saw you.

it was different right now. he felt anxious. he squeezed your hand in his and you didn’t even flinch, didn’t even seem to notice as you looked ahead with a blank stare.

on the other end, his touch alone was enough to give you the tiniest bit of comfort. it wasn’t much, and you were still scared, but it was enough to get you home.

——— ♡ ———

part 1 | part 2 (in progress) | part 3 (in progress)

[uwuwriting]

Abusive boyfriend w/ Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki

Request: Can I have deku, bakugo and Todoroki reacting to the readers unhealthy boyfriend. He brings her down a lot and abusive. - anonymous

Being part of a toxic relationship is so so soooo painful. Thankfully reader-chan has her heroes to save her. Hope you like it. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warnings: abuse both physical and mental, ptsd and panic attacks, cursing, characters are aged up (they have graduated)

Midoriya Izuku

-Okay so he basically was the one who managed to build your confidence back up after the horrendous break up with your ex. 

-Your ex never laid a hand on you but his words were enough to bruise your ego and self worth so much that you believed that you were nothing compared to others. 

-From looks to personality, you believed that even a snail was more worth it than you. 

-Now you are a beautiful girl and very very smart. 

-Guys and girls looked your way even though you were in a relationship. 

-And your ex was having none of it. 

-It started off really subtly.

- “Are you sure you want to wear that to dinner?”

- “We are going to grab some coffee not going out for drinks.”

- “Don’t you think you are showing too much skin?”

-Then the body shaming started. 

- “I think you shouldn’t wear that, I mean look how large it makes you look.”

- “Have you been eating more?”

- “How about I make a diet for you?”

-This really brought you down. 

-It reached the point where you would only wear really baggy hoodies in order to hide your body. 

-After that turning point he still wasn’t satisfied. 

-People, although fewer than before, still had the nerve to hit on you and it was getting on his nerve. 

-He started belittling you in front of friends and acquaintances, destroying your already fragile confidence. 

-He had dug you a grave and sugarcoated the casket with empty I love you’s. 

-He had made you believe that he was the only one who would accept you and love you despite you’re so flawed. 

-And he managed to keep you for quite some time. 

-Then Midoriya comes along. 

-A childhood friend who had become a pro hero and on the top five. 

-He saw how skinny you had become, borderline unhealthy, how you shied away from him and literally everyone. 

-You were like a scared deer. 

-Then the boyfriend came in and everything fell into place. 

-Midoriya is smart, he caught on your boyfriend’s belittlement and the reason behind it. 

-Now getting you out of this toxic relationship is his new mission. 

-You ran into him more often after that first encounter and he always talked to you, complimenting you whenever he could. 

-Your boyfriend didn’t catch on until it was too late. 

-Midoriya had managed to get you to talk about your relationship and what your boyfriend was like, he had opened your eyes to his abuse and helped you built up the courage to stand up to him and dump his ass. 

-He was there of course to support you after the break up. 

-And of course after months and months of seeing each other almost everyday, you two became a thing. 

-Finally you get to experience true love with someone who truly appreciates you. 

Bakugou Katsuki 

-You and Bakugou have been friends since high school. 

-Inseparable. 

-He comes to you for everything, all his troubles are solved by you and you alone. 

-You’re special!!

-So when you get a boyfriend he is the first to meet the guy. 

-In truth he really didn’t want to because he has been in lobe with you for the longest time and seeing you with someone else reminds him that he is a coward. 

-Anyway he meets him and everything is fine, he looks decent and he seems to treat you well. 

-As months pass you seem to distance yourself more and more from him. 

-Bakugou at first is angry, he is fuming I tell you. 

-He doesn’t like the silence that he receives when he calls, or the single word replies when he texts and he especially despises your refusal to go out with him like you used to. 

-He gets that you have a boyfriend now and you have to spend more time with your bf but he still felt betrayed. 

-Then doubt started to settle in his mind. 

-Maybe you realized he wasn’t worth the trouble, I mean he is a difficult person, maybe your new boyfriend opened your eyes and now you want nothing to do with him. 

-Or maybe you figured out he was in love with you. 

-Had he been scowling more than usual while he was meeting your boyfriend? 

-He wanted to ask you what he did wrong but he couldn’t reach you. 

-So he sucked it up and drowned himself in his hero work, drowning his nagging mind along with his free time.

-Then something unexpected happened. 

-Uraraka visited him, worry written all over her face. 

-She was worried for you and wanted to ask him if everything was alright, since he was your best friend. 

- “She stopped showing up to our weekly girl evening and she won’t answer my texts.... I’m really worried for her Bakugou.”

-That was the last straw for him. 

-He went to your apartment and after five minutes of knocking your boyfriend opened the door. 

-The scowls on the guy’s face was really REALLY pushing his buttons. 

- “Is Y/N here?”

- “What do you want her for?”

- “I want to talk to her.”

-This man..... he closed the door in Bakugou’s face. 

-Well closed is putting it mildly. 

-He slammed the door shut with so much force that a mirror down the hall rattled. 

-Bakugou was ready to blow the door open when he heard the shouts. 

- “Y/N why the fuck is that guy here?”

- “W-what guy?”

- “Don’t act all innocent you slut! The guy you are fucking!”

- “I-I don’t k-know who y-you are talking a-about.” 

-The moment he heard your sniffles echo through the door he was inside the apartment shoving the guy away from you. 

- “Don’t you fucking dare speak to her like that, asshole.” 

-You were trembling behind him and Bakugou could feel the sob threatening to escape your lips. 

-Looking over his shoulder at you he spoke gently as if you were a scared kitten. 

- “Y/N could you go get some of your stuff ready? I’m taking you away from this dickhead.”

- “Who do you think you are? That’s MY girlfriend she listens to me alone!”

- “Don’t speak as if she’s an object!”

-You had disappeared to your room to get your things and were now clinging to Bakugou’s back. 

- “So you are fucking him. What should I have expected from a whore like you!” 

-Okay now Bakugou was presented with two options. 

-Option A: beat the living shit out of this guy and most likely losing his hero license for a week. 

-Option B: get you out of here and let this asshole boil in his own defeat. 

-He went with option B. 

-Wordlessly he guided you out of your apartment complex and into his car, drove you to his house and proceeded to help you calm down. 

-You had had one panic attack in the past so he didn’t really know what to do. 

-But he managed. 

- “Whatever he said to you isn’t true. I don’t know what actually went down between you two and what he got into the pretty little head of your but none of that matters. Just know that we are all here for you. Me, the girls even stupid Deku. And we love you, I love you so don’t worry about anything. Everything will be alright.” 

-From that point on everything was history. 

-It didn’t take long for you two to start dating and Bakugou made sure to have a firm talk with your now ex boyfriend when you ran into him at the grocery store. 

-Get wrecked douchebag.

 Todoroki Shouto 

-Toxic relationships is something Todoroki is a pro at this point. 

-He grew up in one so yeah. 

-He sees the signs of the abuse faster than anyone. 

-First of all, you inch away from anyone who starts flaying their arms. 

-Despite the warm weather you always wear long sleeves. 

-And he has seen you applying extra make up around your eye once. 

-He also notices how you always try to avoid annoying your boyfriend, like you take extreme measures. 

-You distance yourself from other males going as far as to avoid him to an extent. 

-Then he sees the bruises. 

-You two were training at the agency’s gym when your shirt rode up your torso and there was this huge bruise right under your  ribs. 

- “Y/N who did this?”

- “Oh I just got slightly injured during my last patrol.”

-He isn’t buying it since he was with you during your last patrol and you didn’t get injured. 

-But he lets it slide because he believes that you know whats best for you and you will get away from this guy. 

-But for some reason you stay with him. 

-For months. 

-And Todo can’t take it anymore.

- “Y/N can I talk to you?”

-He talks to you about what he has seen and that he knows that your boyfriend is doing this to you. 

- “So please, please leave him, get out while you can. Y/N I can’t see you hurt like this.”

-You see the thing was that you had made the stupid decision of moving in with him and now.... you had nowhere to go. 

-If you broke up with him you wouldn’t have a place to stay and you couldn’t start searching for a new place, he traces your phone and search history. 

- “You’ll live with me. I’ll give you everything you need just please please let go of him. He doesn’t deserve you. I hate seeing you so hurt and broken.” 

- “Please come with me then, Shouto I-I can’t do this alone.”

-Of course he came with you, standing in between you and that asshole as he went to strike you when you broke the news to him.

- “You are leaving me for this piece of shit huh? Of course you would you whore!”

-He went as far as activating his quirk, attacking Shouto in an attempt to get to you. 

- “I own you you fucking slut! No one will want you! You are mine!”

-Shouto wasn’t as calm as Bakugou in this situation, punching the guy before leaving the apartment, making sure that the guy got the message and wouldn’t try to come after you. 

-Back at his apartment, Shouto comforted you as best he could. 

-You know where this leads. 

-Shouto gives you the space you need before making a move. 

-My mans waits months before even remotely flirting with you. 

-After a year long wait he finally manages to ask you out. 

-And the rest is history.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @dnarez-mangetsu​ @reinyrei​ @bemorefiction​

[goodlucktai]

Prompt 33 just screams protective nishimura so could you write that please and thankyou 🌸

PROMPTS LIST

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?”

i got several requests for this one, specifically with nishimura (and a few, even more specifically, with nishinatsu). you guys really know my brand 😌🌼

x

Kitamoto warned him, but Tanuma was still unprepared.

He's got one arm looped around Natsume's shoulders, something that happened almost entirely involuntarily, and the other is clutching Nyanko-sensei against his chest because the cat's ears are lying back and his claws are pricking through Tanuma's sleeve in an alarming way.

This leaves no hands free to corral Nishimura, and Tanuma thinks he's going to need about three more to do that anyway.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Nishimura is raging, too loud, attracting eyes from all directions. "Who the-- who do you-- who are you? The prime minister? Is this your private property? Do you own this park?"

The unfamiliar boy they bumped into is nearly a head taller than Nishimura but he seems almost cowed by him-- appropriately so, Tanuma thinks fairly, because if he were on the receiving end of this tirade, in a public space, he probably would have started crying by now. An honest assessment.

"I'm asking who you are," Nishimura all but shouts, when the boy in front of him takes more than one second to respond. "What is your name? Do you have an identity?"

"I'm-- my name is Yoshida. I know the fr-- the guy behind you. We were classmates. That's all."

"Oh, is that all," Nishimura says. It's clearly not all.

Yoshida's eyes flick past Nishimura, just for a second, but it's enough to make Natsume twitch. Tanuma doesn't miss it, since Natsume is still tucked snugly beneath his arm. Nishimura doesn't miss it either, because Nishimura is in this heightened state of pissed off that Tanuma has never witnessed before.

He snaps his fingers, says, "What's wrong with you? Don't you know it's rude not to look at someone when they're talking to you?"

It's amazing he doesn't choke on that piece of hypocrisy.

"So you used to know Natsume or whatever, and somehow, in your mind, that translates to... literally attacking him out of nowhere?"

"Nishimura," Natsume says. It's the tone of someone burdened with an impossible task, like stopping a runaway train before it crashes with nothing but his bare hands and hopeful intentions. "He didn't attack me."

Nishimura whirls around and points at him (rudely). "You be quiet! He attacked you!"

"He pushed me. I fell down. That's not an attack."

"That's literally assault! That's-- " He pats at his pockets, clearly looking for the cellphone that he shoved into Tanuma's bag two hours ago, after it died taking roughly one million pictures of the cat at the train station. "Tanuma, Google the Penal Code!"

"I'm not going to do that," Tanuma says gently.

Kitamoto did warn him. He wanted to stay home with his dad this weekend, and urged them to go visit Yuuki without him, but the second the others were distracted, he snagged Tanuma by the sleeve and drew him aside.

"I won't be there, so if something happens, it's up to you," he said. His tone was so serious and grave that for a second Tanuma thought they were talking about the yokai situation and he had absolutely no idea how to process that. And then Kitamoto added, "Nishimura tends to go off the rails a bit when someone's mean to one of his friends. I mean, you've seen it. I just really don't want my best friend getting arrested for disturbing the peace while I'm not around."

So, that was a warning. Looking back, Tanuma should have taken it to heart.

Nishimura is Tanuma's smallest friend, an inch or so shorter than Taki now, but only in stature. If he were as big as all his caring, he would tower over cities. He's right now shouting down someone much larger than he is, without an ounce of sense or self-preservation.

This is the same boy who steals out of Natsume's bento at lunch, and makes faces behind Tsuji's back when he's lecturing them about passing notes during class, and gets into heated arguments with Isamu over the TV Guide literally every time they have a sleepover at Taki's house.

And it's the same boy who taught Natsume how to swim, one sunny August day almost two years ago now, at the river because Natsume was afraid to go into the pool. The same boy who has coaxed Tanuma through more than one panic attack, his hands a familiar shape around Tanuma's own at this point.

His caring is loud, Tanuma thinks. Even when it's quiet.

A few passersby have stopped, lingering nearby like they're going to get involved, and clearly it's making Yoshida feel outnumbered. The fight went out of him about three seconds after Nishimura started yelling in the first place, so all the rest of it has maybe been a bit overkill.

"So, is he just going to keep going? Like, until he runs out of breath?" Yoshida's friend asks.

She's been standing quietly to one side this entire time. Her face had folded with disapproval when Yoshida initially pushed Natsume down, but no one had a second to get a word in edgewise before Nishimura exploded about it, and now she simply looks as though this is the best punishment for her friend that she could have hoped for.

"Um, probably," Natsume says. He's unfamiliar with her, but she smiles at him.

"I only transferred here last year," she says. "And I don't listen to gossip. And anyway, with friends like these, those rumors about you couldn't possibly be true."

Her whole demeanor is calm and self-assured. She reminds Tanuma of Tsuji, and similarly, Natsume's guard seems to relent. He smiles back at her.

This leaves Tanuma free to step away without feeling as though he's abandoning him. With Nyanko-sensei in the crook of his arm, he reaches out and draws Nishimura back by the hood of his jacket, the way he's seen Taki and Kitamoto do one hundred times a day since they were fourteen.

Nishimura squawks in outrage, and struggles against Tanuma's grip, but... well, he's little. And Tanuma has been back in karate for the past year, give or take, so his core strength is fairly solid. It only takes a small amount of effort to reel Nishimura back and tuck him under his arm.

This is better. He feels his heart start to settle. Right here, Nishimura can't fly off the handle any more than he already has, and Tanuma can keep him from getting hurt.

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” Nishimura seethes. 

“Yes,” Natsume says quickly.

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

“Satchan,” Tanuma tries, and that, at least, gets Nishimura to stew quietly for a moment instead. “You’ve made your point. I’m sure Yashido is sorry.”

"He is very sorry," Yoshida's friend says peacefully. "He'll be especially sorry once I tell his mom that her only son acted like a stupid bully. Let's go, Hiroo, before you get beat up."

She bows politely, and then carts Yoshida away. Yoshida, if anything, looks relieved to have an out, and retreats without so much as a backwards glance.

"Ugh," Nishimura says. He isn't even winded. "Ugh! Just wait till I tell Kitamoto about that creep! He'll wish he'd been here!"

Kitamoto, who is basically a modern-day prophet, will definitely wish he had been here, though not for the same reasons Nishimura seems to be thinking of. Tanuma needs to reevaluate a lot of the conversations they've had in the past. How many times has Kitamoto said something like "they almost called the cops on us" totally offhand and actually meant it?

"You're insane," Natsume says the second they're alone again. There's a mark on his cheek from where he hit the ground that will be a bruise tomorrow. When their friends see that, they'll all be quick to side with Nishimura over this, so it's important that they get as much scolding in now as possible. "I don't want you picking fights like that, okay? What if it had gone differently, and he'd hit you or something?"

"Good," Nishimura says hotly. "Then our faces would match."

This remark disarms Natsume completely, and his expression turns warm and affectionate. Nyanko-sensei makes a noise that is almost a laugh. His eyes are slitted in something like approval. Kitamoto's warning of "it's up to you" rings loudly in Tanuma's ears. Okay.

He gives Nishimura a gentle shake with the arm still curled around his shoulders, and stands firm when Nishimura looks up at him.

Or, well. Almost stands firm. He does try. He'll tell Kitamoto he tried.

"Come to karate with me next week," he says. "If you're going to pick fights with people twice your size, at least be able to back it up."

Nishimura's face lights up. If he hadn’t been there to see it for himself, Tanuma never would have guessed what he'd been doing one minute ago. This is the boy who dozes off on Natsume’s shoulder during long train rides, who complains about Nyanko-sensei stealing his food but still slips him treats beneath the table anyway, who is delighted just by the idea of spending extra time with Tanuma after school.

"Definitely! No take-backs!" he announces, thrilled. "Just wait till I tell Acchan!"

Natsume gives Tanuma a sympathetic look. Tanuma decides then and there that the next time Kitamoto stays home, he's staying home, too.

[emstillhere]

Jimmy and Angel

I couldn’t stop thinking about the complexity of Jimmy and Angel’s relationship so I wrote an essay for fun. My apologies. Read if you’d like.

The religious symbolism in Alice Oseman’s novel I Was Born for This is not unsubtle. The entire book is a comparison of the benefits and dangers of fandom culture to those of religious communities. This is made obvious with the two main characters, Jimmy and Angel, both being religious. The comparison with fandom culture comes through Angel, who looks to The Ark — the band Jimmy’s the lead singer for — to save her life just as much as she looks to God to guide her through it. She sees the members of The Ark as saviors to her, the only thing that makes sense in a world she doesn’t know how to exist in.

Jimmy doesn’t know Angel exists until halfway through the novel, when they meet in a bathroom when a meet and greet turns into a stampede. Angel helps Jimmy calm down after a panic attack. She never invades his privacy as he’s so used to fans doing, and her name is Angel. It’s obvious to him, God sent this girl to save him. He’s been struggling with his relationship with The Ark for the entire book, unsure if it’s what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Angel helps him at the meet and greet, then later guides him home. She does this because she sees Jimmy as someone who has saved her by existing as The Ark, and she would do anything to repay the favor.

The two of them serve each other, like the other is a God. But they don’t do it for nothing. They share the mutual thought of ‘if I help you, you will save me.’

Angel dedicates herself to the service of Jimmy, making sure he’s where he wants to be, speaking for him when he can’t speak for himself. She takes a train from London to Kent for him, because Jimmy has saved her by simply existing, and she wants to give back to him. Jimmy treats Angel like his savior as well. He is the only character we see interact with God through prayer. When he does, Jimmy explains that no matter how long in between conversations with God, “He’s waiting. He always is” (299). This mirrors how Jimmy treats Angel, as someone who will stick by his side over the long run, dragging her to Kent and not wanting her to leave because  “she’s literally the only one who understands [his] side of the argument” (339).

So Jimmy and Angel see each other as saviors, angels, Gods. But in truth, they are both two regular, young people just trying to discover where they fit into this world. They put their faith into someone who has no anchor to them — Angel doesn’t truly know Jimmy, and Jimmy can’t expect Angel to drop everything and save him. But by putting all their faith in each other, and by centering all their hope around one person, they miss the real people who work to save them.

Throughout the entire book, there are many old people who help Jimmy and Angel through small actions to guide them to greater happiness in the future. Here’s a quick rundown of them: The woman on the tube, who tells Angel that her sadness is all a part of God’s plan (94-95); The woman who tripped the paparazzi when they were chasing down Angel and Bliss (138); Ernest, the doorman at Jimmy’s apartment who looks out for his safety when he goes outside (161-163); The woman at the park who reminds Jimmy the world he lives in is beautiful (163-164); Gary, the taxi driver who takes Jimmy to Angel (277-278, 281-283); and the other taxi driver who takes Jimmy and Angel to Piero (294-295).

The physical descriptions of these characters are limited to describing them as elderly. They all appear for one or two pages, give advice to or help out Jimmy and Angel, then disappear. The moments are not overemphasized, so the reader can miss the intention of them just as Angel and Jimmy did. These characters are the real angels, helping our heroes not because they think they will get something back, but because they know what is right. They see the struggle these young people are going through — perhaps they recognize it from their own youths — and then lend a hand. Nothing expected in return, as a true savior should act. Unlike how Jimmy and Angel treat each other.

Then there are the two characters who are a little more than a one-time-only angel, and that is Dorothy and Piero.

Dorothy is Juliet’s grandmother, the host of the home Angel stays in in London. The most important moment involving her is her conversation with Angel on pages 248-249, when she tells Angel she understands what it’s like to love The Ark, because she loved the Beatles in the sixties. She tells Angel that despite the media getting down on The Beatles’s fans, the girls “were more powerful than anybody” (249). The advice Dorothy gives Angel is to not stop loving The Ark, because the ability to raise someone up by loving them loudly is power. She shouldn’t have to give up her passions because the world gets down on her for being a girl obsessed with a boyband. This is advice Angel needed to hear in that moment, as it was during the time she was grappling with the fact that perhaps the presentation The Ark gives to the public is all a lie. This is also the complete opposite of the advice Piero gives her. 

Piero is Jimmy’s grandfather and the man who raised him. He is the person Jimmy takes Angel to when he runs away. A conversation between Piero and Angel that mirrors the one between her and Dorothy is on pages 309-310. He tells her that “Jimmy needs to solve his own problems,” and that because she’s a fangirl, Angel doesn’t care about herself, and “all [her] love is given away. [She] leaves nothing for [her]self.” While Dorothy told her loving The Ark was power, Piero tells her it takes her power away. If she does not care about herself, she becomes nothing. His main bit of advice is “it’s impossible to keep relying on others to solve your problems for you.” Angel and Jimmy’s relationship is based on a desire to receive help from the other. They are not friends, they want to be saved and are convinced the other is the answer. They’re so wrapped up in this they fail to see the help offered to them by strangers, and refuse to put in the work of helping themselves. But they will not be saved by each other, because they are just two flawed people who need to believe in themselves before anything else.