#I like took a whole side way

[dumb-doll-lips]

I’m playing baldurs gate on the easier story mode. It’s always felt stil like a challenge but the game has been feeling soo hard to me lately.

A puzzle almost made cry bc I couldn’t figure it out and thought I had too. Like even a guide didn’t help me enough. Being more in a town now feels so overwhelming. And like almost tpk’d a few times.

I want to get further along in watching playthroughs so I can know more things and it maybe not seem so hard.

(This is like why I don’t play many video games, it feels rarer to like a game enough for dealing w all the struggling.)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[spookythesillyfella]

"You're not ashamed of only doing unnecessary things – far from it, you're proud of it ; you must be feeling GREAT!"

★ alt verzionz under cut :

★ song : "Eh? You're serious? Wait!" – Dobu no Awa

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[vice-like]

now that we know that kuromisa can be any matoba this got me thinking abt who was it that clara actually saw... like, besides nanase, there isn't many women working with matoba, in chapters where we see his entourage i don't remember seeing many women at all so who the hell could this be?

ofc it could be some pretty boy or even matoba himself but i'm not so sure abt this 2nd one, as readers we have our favorite character designs and all but the only way to know if someone is considered pretty or good-looking in canon is when other characters point it out; for example we know natsume is considered handsome or beutiful bc other characters point it out, be it yokai or humans but when it comes to matoba's appearance we don't hear much besides that the eye patch and long hair are eye-catching or even weird lol now, it could be bc he's a matoba and the clan leader to boot and his reputation is terrible, so ppl don't have nice things to say abt him and maybe out of this context and under another guise someone could pay more attention to his supposed beauty but if we entartain the idea it was another matoba, then who?

well considering that midorikawa decided to point this out thru clara i'm going to suppose it's an important detail to keep in mind which got me thinking: what if we get introduced to another sibling? maybe even a cousin? a more distant relative and/or clan member from one of the 11 families? or maybe in classic ancient clan tradition there's a main family of direct descendants of clan heads and a side family with a little less power but still matobas nonetheless? the possibilities for clan drama are endless and i want a matoba clan politics arc so fcking bad y'all, i want to see the subtle fight for power from an unaware natsume's pov sooo badly

[akimojo]

everytime i replay 13 i'm like. man. i love snerah so much, they're so perfect for each other like seriously. and then i replay 13-2 and noerah grips me so much it makes me insane thinking about how much better noel and serah are together. and then i replay 13 and i can't believe i would betray snerah like that, it's clearly superior and snow and serah are so lovely together. and then i replay 13-2 and idk what the hell i was thinking, noel and serah clearly fit each other so much more, like they're meant to be. AND THEN I REPLAY 13 AND

[milkbreadtoast]

my s class hunters does a really good job at gradually raising the stakes without feeling like a pointless power creep and keeping me extremely invested and i keep saying this but I really do think it's bc it's a story grounded in love at every turn... the bond between the han brothers especially is extremely compelling and beautiful and makes me feel like a knife is being stabbed into my heart and twisted all around... i love them so so much 😞💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[spacedlexi]

i just think a "friended/romanced + saved + trust aj" violet does such a good job rounding out the plot and characters of S4 and i dont say that lightly

she walls people off out of fear just like S3 clem did and learned to grow out of through the compassion of others. feeling like she could have done more to save minnie being what initially makes her step up to lead, but her accepting her love for clem (and clem choosing to save her) is what leads to her Truly accepting the school and everyone inside it as her Home and gives her something to fight for ("i tried my damnedest not to care about either of you. and i still couldnt tell you why." "i know where youre coming from. after losing so many people, sometimes its easier to keep everyone at arms length." "and then you wonder why you fight so hard to stay alive. i dont wonder anymore."). this being the reasoning behind violets detachment from the school, as well as a negative home life impacting her idea of what a home even was. but together they turn ericson from a prison into the home theyve BOTH been looking for, renaming it together, and envisioning it for the future together. the two of them understand each other deeply, from what theyve lost to how its affected them and the poor ways theyve decided to react to it. but through their support of the other, they BOTH get to evolve into more relaxed and confident versions of themselves, who know Exactly what theyre fighting for

her troubled relationship with brody and getting to learn more about what happened with the twins/violets reaction to it and how she ultimately blames herself/brodys guilt about her part in it and how she misses violet. getting the chance to mend that relationship before its too late. the 3 of them becoming closer because of it. and getting to develop clems friendship with brody leads to a more impactful moment later in the basement

her relationship with tenn reflecting clems relationship with aj, in the way they both made the decision to look after their respective boys after their primary guardians died (ajs parents, tenns sisters). both of them can understand the responsibilities they have taken upon themselves, and how hard it can be to do right. the 4 of them become a tight knit group quickly. especially in EP2 as vi supports clem while tenn supports aj through the marlon fiasco

her confused relationship with minerva introducing interesting conflict both within her relationship with clem (who has her own personal conflict with minerva, which vi still ties into through her relationship with both minnie and tenn) and the over arching plot, which has themes of learning when to let someone go because they are no longer who they once were (clem and lilly "we were family once", mitch about ms martin "you get all caught up in who people used to be, and you cant deal with whats in front of you", violet about minnie "the real minnie? shes been gone this whole time and i have to stop mourning her")

having a saved violet on the boat expanding the conversation with minerva about her motivations with the delta. violet apologizing for never looking for her, minnie saying she knows she would have but that its too late now, so sure this is just the way things have to be. getting to hear minnie say "you can be rewarded, just like i am", giving us insight into her character. and clem getting the last word before she rams the door down, her and violet fighting minnie Together. and violet saves clems life, making the Choice to shoot minerva, which in and of itself is a huge moment for violets character in regards to her relationship with both minnie And clem

and aj shooting tenn on the bridge brings things full circle, by putting violet in the same position louis was in EP2, where aj has killed the most important person to her, in an effort to save her life, and now she must reckon with those feelings the same way louis had to about marlon. not so easy now is it violet? ("so youre mad, but sad" "can i be that for a while?" "yeah, its ok")

just... ough... violets whole character just fits into Everything so well, but in a way that elevates the characters and plots around her, while also developing her into her own

[xxplastic-cubexx]

hello!! i just want to tell you that your art is so goddamn scrumptious, you are literally feeding my xmen brainrot and I find myself smiling when i see your art come across my feed. I love how you draw charles, pretty privilege and post (lets be fr he's serving every time)

i hope you always have fantastic brainrot and id kiss your blessed hands for giving us the gift of cherik and charles xavier, you are literally an icon

hope you have a great day ahead of you and more!! you deserve it !!

well i'ma absolutely have a wonderful mornin after readin this AWWWW thank you so so much !!!! i haven't been postin xmen long, so it's been really heartwarmin seein the warm reception to my work in the wonderful tags people have been leavin on my posts- and especially gettin to answer the lovely asks y'all've been sendin in (❁´ ▽ `❁) !! im glad people also like my goofy text posts and esp quotes from my brother he really has no right being so funny at the most random times

i hope to be xmen posting a while: ive got at least 60 years worth of stuff to look through and ongoing, so i dont imagine my interest'll wane anytime soon :]] !!

[mayomkun]

Finally done with teen wolf rewatch. Phew

[kindlythevoid]

On Abigail and Shawn's Relationship (Psych)

~By someone who's only halfway through Psych~

I actually really liked Abigail and her place in Psych. She's obviously a tie to Shawn's past, but I think she plays an important part beyond just being an obstacle for Shules. For one thing, she feels like a fleshed out character. She has a personality, and while it feels like it's meant to bounce off Shawn's, very similar humor-wise imo, it still very much feels like her own; she has her own ambitions and her own life outside of Shawn and Psych. She likes people, she believes in education, she's a teacher, these are all aspects of her that come out in her time on the show (trying to fix Henry and Shawn's relationship (which I address a lil in the tags), otherwise respecting Shawn's distance, going to her teacher conference instead of the skiing trip, leaving for Uganda for an opportunity she's wanted for six years). She's also still clearly affected by the fact that Shawn had stood her up way back in high school, and this connection is what makes her such an important character for Shawn's development, imo.

Abigail is her own person, but she also serves as a waypoint for Shawn. He gets to fix his mistake of standing her up, and he also learns how to function in a long-term relationship. While admittedly having the relationship start with a "Gus, I can totally do it, watch this" isn't the best, it's reasonable for his character and serves as a wonderful beginning point for his maturation arc. Throughout the relationship, Gus (and company) helps Shawn navigate the differences between a fling and a long-term relationship. He starts to mature and understand that he has to check in with Abigail, he has to make dates and stick with them, he has to have mature conversations with her, he has to respect her time, etc.

Furthermore, it also helps Abigail get over said past mistake. She gets to take her relationship with Shawn one step further, feel it out, see how it would have gone, as Shawn progresses from child-like understanding of relationships to a more mature, grown-up perspective. His repeated showing up, starting from the moment he turned down Juliet in the drive-in because he had a standing date with Abigail (even though he was in love with Juliet at the time; honestly one of the biggest bullets dodged in the show; I have never seen a situation handled so neatly. There was no two-timing, no lying (well, minor lying to Abigail, ig), and they really tried to reinforce their platonic relationship instead of ignoring a possible wedge between them. It was so... refreshing.) I would bargain actually heals something in Abigail, showing her that Shawn is willing to step up as well as that Abigail is someone worth showing up for. It isn't as clear an arc for her, but I'd wager it's there, at least in the background, which is what makes their relationship so interesting.

In the end, the relationship works as a waypoint for the both of them. Shawn learns what it means to be in a long-term relationship, preparing him for a future with Juliet. In return, Abigail has a chapter of her life closed on a high note and is able to move on with her life without the what-ifs and emotional burdens of her past.

[guardian-instincts-bad]

and the finished version of my moroleth art!

decided to keep this one fairly simple, but enjoy some pensive art of my queer punk former nightmare former aetherblade eventual sylvari commander (he/they, kid has such a history), post a rotsap attack that left him chronically (and visibly) ill for several years

[mofffun]

Team wings headcanons??? Any????

They are children on the playground and arguing is proof of their "friendship"!!

Headcanons

Rita being the secret supplier to Yanma's antique collection (think government auction, double as one Gokkan's source of income)

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun.

Yanma the hashtag angry mark vs Rita the pool of yarn mark (ahhh I want to doodle)

THEM WITH KIDS: Rita scaring a little girl in N’kosopa vs. the flower twirl with Ishabana boy + Yanma is a good teacher

when did they first hear the king-ohger legend

"You don't even know that?" -> Yanma: yelling at auroras to "turn off your damn speakers!!!" // Rita: can't tell a lightning cable from a type c

I don't think Rita is bad in tech in terms of lacking a sense in it but they just never had the need to study it

Rita will never say the full technical name for Yanma's inventions though (Does he even know his lie detector is called the Thundercarcker behind his back?)

(bringing the actors into this) Rita serectly adding another grudge on their list because Yanma's Moffun voice is actually really good

per manga ch13, the grudge list grew again because the Jealous Judge's retainer has a heart uchiwa for the yankii king

Yanma is smart enough to motivate the judge with words into helping him if necessary but it'll take a minute hour for Rita to begin wonder if it was because they agreed with his reasoning or his choice of words

Yanma is 2 years older but by kingship he is 6 years Rita's junior. Their first meeting happened at 21/19. The number fluctuates because I also really want to see their first meeting at 19/15.

similarity and differences:

teased by Himeno, Yanma turns red and Rita turns white

they are too gay to sit properly

parallel play (they could sit in a coffee shop for hours and people would think they are angry with each other because they're not talking but it's actually the most comfortable way for them to stay together in the same room)

unconsciously hum while working long hours

“what is sleep”/caffeine addicts 

 you KNOW they both have a tendency to fall asleep in their office

Both have a sweet tooth but Yanma in drinks and Rita in hard candy. Rita more so than Yanma because butterfly.

don’t really look at what he’s eating vs. has a gokkan-native comfort food

Yanma doesn't mind trying foods with dry/weird textures Rita is not exactly a picky eater (because gokkan food shortage/low variety of homegrown food) but typical “I need that texture once in a while or I start malfunctioning”

(Gokkan has all sort of weird pickles and dried meats, typical winter country)

Like any northerner Rita has a high alcohol tolerance though without a preference (okay Gokkan harvest(?) festival and the one day the prison complex is allowed fruit punch) and you'll find me beat up before I say Yanma Gast can take more than a beer.

Yanma Gast has a HUGE ego but I think it’s only gotten worse by having an eternal hyper in Shiokara. Does Rita has an ego? long story short, yeah.

Instances:

first meeting

development of king's hotline/ohger calibur/king's weapon

the moffun scalper

development of the lie detector

yanma's arrest and trial

when yanma and rita were castle-mates (?) before himeno and kagu got themselves in jail

jail time

the body swap phone call!!

body swap resolution (admit it canon is not giving it to us)

the voyage back home

maintenance spa day of the shugods

first meeting: I think one reason Rita doesn't like N'kosopa much (and an underlying cause to them randomly arresting everyone in 28 besides stress), is organized crime plagued N'kosopa in the aftermath of Wrath of Gods.

Post-Wrath, the blue king ran away, so N'kosopa is either an anarchy or at warring states where crime bosses and militarists took hold. "Police" exist but took bribes per Shiokara. At that time, Rita just became king themself and has enough on their plate. So even though it's technically a domestic affair, it's a growing potential threat to Chikyuu's order but it's too systemic for a 10-year-old foreigner to take on alone.

I also think Rita would be required to witness the day Yanma officially becomes King. He has the popular vote, but to keep things simple, the monarchy is kept instead of transitioning into procedural democracy. So the yakuza lawyer, Usba maybe, say they have to get the Chief Justice here, to everyone turning blue and silent for a moment from the excited discussion of a big ceremony hearing their name.

but! my initial fic idea in may/june was very simple because I only wanted to put them in a bike + sidecar and sunglasses and comedic road trip. They chase down a McGuffin to help a kid. Their budapest. Where Yanma making "Absolute Neutrality" Rita's name comes from something they said. Maybe that's why the couldn't end the incident in a less legal but more effective way.

another first meeting idea allows them to meet younger as late teens is maintenance day for the shugods. A very random event is if the Yanma needs the Ohger Calibur to stay over temporarily, how is Rita gonna continue with the trials? Did he buy them a substitute pon pon Moffun hammer at the tuck shop??

Developing the henshin system: See I think Yanma is not going to bother putting in a function that he personally can’t use but knowing it’s a team’s weapon, as a good designer, he at least has to ask the other kings what they want as an auxillary. What is his reaction hearing Rita says bow? (i talk as if anything other than HA? is an option) What if Rita didn’t suggest bow, but Yanma just assigned them that because it fits that stick-in-the-mud?

Body swap resolution: Yanma wants to train his body but doesn't know where to start. I mean, he can't ask Rita of course. But if anyone can keep a secret, it's them. Oh of course he doesn't have to go that far and outright get humiliated again, so he has to phrase it like picking a fight. Rita is down anytime to "convince" Yanma Gast so they didn't really register it as a one either. (re: Erica saying arguing is the proof that this two are "friends")

Yanma's arrest:

Yanma's hair got fried blond because of his ultracomputer

N'kosopa mass protest + boast rally that conversely proved Yanma is the culprit

nobody remembers to hire Yanma a lawyer

a particular loud shriek when Gokkan's power black out (lucky for yanma it's summer i.e. long day)

Morfonia and her unsaved files

Yanma's sentence include improving Gokkan TV/Internet reception as community service

Jeramie using the "boys will be boys"/"he's just a kid" defence as Yanma's Grand-Master to mask he secretly contributed here and there

+ power blackout doesn't really affect the bugnarok because they're underground and only beginning to build a power system with Gira and Shugoddom's help

Shugoddom's historic gas lamps!

Himeno breaking down Yanma's door because "if not for my hospitals all equipped with the best backup power!" (solar/wind energy), and that she can't curl her hair that morning.

Kaguragi turned it into a campfire story night/community event somehow

Yanma's trial day is the day Gokkan's immigration and tourism board has to overwork for the first time.

Shiokara and hacker gang arguing for visitation rights. homemade bento

does yanma sentence last for more than two years if he says prison break is an additional charge?

Gira tried negotiations but he knew he isn't being fair and backed down quickly with a Rita stare

Yanma got dragged away with Papi-chan helicopter style, he's yelling at Tonbo to put in a good word for for his buddy and Papi-chan ignore him lol

CHARACTER ANALYSIS

They have two key words: past/present and secrets.

the thing with wings is, they somehow sparked in each other another side. (i.e. they drive each other crazy, and they are the only ones that can do that to the other) But then they spring back like nothing next day like children on the playground.

On a level, these two are actually very similar in terms of being analytical and practical. Yet their conflict comes from attacking problems from opposite angles. Rita represents the past and Yanma the future. Rita will collect evidence and review history while Yanma focuses on what's already in hand and invents something new. I said that right, but in a way Rita is forward-facing when they never let any childhood trauma stay a trauma or haunt them; Yanma is nostalgic based on his antique/physical media collection.

You may say it's partly recognition of the self. That's why they are only antagonistic 80% of the time.

(hc territory) They ended up doing the same thing/making the same choice ouf of completely different reasons. They are more similar than they think they are but no one can name what/why (not even me).

Yanma Gast 100% knew about Moffun but he kept his mouth shut in ep11. He (should) never told anyone about what Rita did in the underworld. I'm lying to myself he trusted the judge won't do something they didn't deem necessary so he turned away in 38.

Rita holds grudges. Yanma Gast is the source of their headache since he stole Gira and kick-started the story. Sometimes they don't get how such an obnoxious person is so popular. But Rita guesses, he's dependable when it's important. Not a very skilled fighter but he's not dumb. At least they can count on him not to intervene if they make it clear they are making a move.

the movie scene: No spoilers, but, I just think that’s a really nice scene to that established how different Yanma and Rita are while providing a base for reconciliation following their argument in 19. Neither of them are acting like their usual self. I don’t mean they are ooc, but you see them perform different than everyday under an unknown situation.

[moe-broey]

Idk I also just hate the future actually. My ass is Always living in the past or simply day to day 💪💪💪

[lorax-devito]

just finished rewatching asoue and aside from everything I have to say all I keep seeing is ppl saying ‘how’d Olaf pull esmé’ and yes,how did he pull her but also how’d he pull kit????? like,those mfs were engaged😭😭

[rizardofether]

Wait Splatoon 3 is over?? But I just got back into it?? I missed the last Splatfest??? -holding new Splatoon OCs- What do I do with these guys now???