#I like that they took a picture of the toilet LMAO

[naradreamt]

Miscellaneous photos of the hide MUSEUM taken in 2000

[kenny-the-ken]

Imagine being high school sweethearts with kenny and quickly trying to have sex without getting caught because he’s so horny lmao like hes begging for some head round the back of the school lol

Don't Be Shy

I love love LOVE this request!!! Part 2 of YOU + ME and My Brother's Best Friend will hopefully be up by later tonight or tomorrow!! Please keep the requests coming guys, writing these are keeping me sane at the moment, the terrible twos are no joke 😭💀 AGED UP CHARACTERS!!

"Baby, please? Not even a quickie?" Kenny whined at you, as you continued to walk down the school corridor, shaking your head.

"No way, Ken. After school, yes of course, but in school where we could get caught? Nuh-uh!" You replied and he frowned, pouting his lips at you and trying his best to give you puppy dog eyes.

"But watching you in Physical Education babe, god and the fact you swore that skort too, it's so short and your boobs and ass looked incredible! Please?" And he was back once again on his tangent of begging and pleading with you, and he was starting to wear you down, and he knew it.

"Okay, what about, we don't have to have sex, but maybe even a quick blowie out the back where no one is during class times?" Kenny asked and you paused for a moment, seriously considering it.

"I'll think about it." Was all you said, before giving him a quick kiss on the lips and making your way to class.

He had a free period while you were in art, and having most of your work done, you decided to toy with your overly horny boyfriend.

Y/n: Hey Ken, can I ask you a question?

Kenny 🧡: Yeah baby, what's up?

Y/n: So I bought some new lingerie a few days back and I only got round to trying it on yesterday evening, I took a few pics for you, I just wanted your opinion on them.

Attachment: 5 images

Kenny opened them and his jaw dropped to his feet, you were so good at taking lude shots of yourself, and you knew this would drive him crazy, his cock was rock solid, and that's exactly what you wanted.

Kenny 🧡: I think I want you to wait for me in the disabled access toilet on the first floor.

And you smirked scanning his message before putting up your hand and asking to be dismissed to use the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to you, when you got there the door was locked, and you tried the handle a few times, before the person on the inside unlocked it, opened it enough for you to be pulled in by their hand and the door was locked again as Kenny pinned you to it.

"You think you're funny, hmm? Sending me those pictures of you looking like you were just waiting for me to come in and tear them off you and remind you who this pussy belongs to." He said, his hand going straight up your school skirt and right to your wet panties.

You let out a small moan at the contact and Kenny slowly pushed you to the floor on your knees, unbuckling his belt and pulling his jeans and boxers down, his large cock springing free and sitting against his stomach.

"Suck." Was all he said, grabbing your hair that was tied in a high pony and moving your face closer to his dick. You grabbed it with your hand, your tongue licking the bead of precum off the tip before hollowing your cheeks and taking him as best you could into your mouth.

Fuck this was just what Kenny needed, he'd been longing for you, your mouth, your pussy, anything as long as it was you. And his moans were deep and breathy, as you bobbed your head, staring up at him with a gaze of innocence.

"So pretty, Princess. Looking so innocent with your lips wrapped around my cock." Kenny moaned out, his hips bucking forward causing you to choke slightly, and he smirked.

"What's wrong, can't take it baby?" He teased before setting a quick pace with his hips bucking forward, you could feel his cock hitting the back of your throat, saliva and precum running down your chin, your hands on Kenny's thighs as you swallowed around him, earning a strangled moan from him.

"Fuck, your throat feels so good, what a little slut you really are." Kenny groaned once more, gasping as your hands cupped his balls, massaging them gently, your cheeks hollowing around him, sucking as best as you could, your eyes watering.

"Gonna make you look like a mess, slut." He moaned out, his hips quickening and his thrusts starting to become sloppy.

"Getting close, baby, gonna come in your mouth and you're gonna swallow everything I give you, understand?" Kenny asked, earned a hum from yourself in response as his grip tightened on your hair, moving your head quicker to meet his rough thrusts.

"F-Fuck, y/n!" Kenny moaned out, his vision going white as he came in your mouth, his back arching slightly, your head still bobbing up and down his over sensitive cock, milking every drop of cum from him, and swallowing, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you smirked up at him.

His hand cupped your face, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. "You have no idea the things I'm gonna do to you when we get back to my house." His voice was deep, and he offered you his hand to help you up, pulling you into a warm embrace.

"Thank you, baby. I love you." Kenny whispered into your ear, placing a kiss on your forehead before slapping you on the ass.

"Now get that pretty ass of yours back to class before we get in trouble." He said, and you laughed, a smile on your face, kissing your boyfriend before unlocking the door, sneaking out one after the other as Kenny walked you to your class, leaving you off with a kiss.

"I'll meet you at lunchtime." He said with a wink, before heading back to his free period.

Your teacher inquired as to why you had been gone for so long as you made up an excuse, saying you felt like you were going to be sick, but you and Kenny both knew that was was the furthest thing from the truth.

[stylespresleyhearted]

THIS JUST IN: CALLUM TURNER, NEW FATHER

pt. ✌🏻 ~ fc: beautiful rosie hunington-whitely ~

masterlist here ; part one here

enjoy ♥️

-

liked by user02, user14, and 71954 others

dailymail Callum Turner made a surprise appearance at last night’s award show with girlfriend Y/N and we were all shocked to see she is no longer pregnant. She’s even back in shape! Click the link in bio to find out everything we know about the birth of their child

view all comments

fan21 did ya’ll think she was gonna be pregnant forever ???

fan23 What a horrible thing to do. Talking about a woman’s body and her being in shape after she’s carried and birthed a child? Do better dailymail!

fan12 AHHH CONGRATS TO THEM! 😭🙌🏼♥️

fan33 luckiest child ever

liked by austinbutler and 93715 others

yourinstagram happy daddy day my love 🫶🏻 we love you a million

(also yes our baby was born. he’s perfect.)

view all comments

fan23 omfg ima cry i know he’s the best fucking dad

austinbutler ❤️

yourinstagram we miss you uncle austin!

keoghan92 I remember when Cal used to carry me on his shoulders like that around set 🥺

anthonyboyle you’re ridiculous

yourinstagram LMAO happy fathers day! Come visit soon 😘

yourfriendsinstagram omg so you aren’t gonna be pregnant forever? what?! (😒)

liked by rafflaw, austinbutler, and 76199 others

callumturner I made an Instagram to publicly wish my beautiful partner and the best mum around (sorry Mum) a happy birthday. I love you darling and you two are the most precious things in my life 🥳

comments have been limited

florencepugh I too would make an entire Instagram just to love on @yourinstagram so I get it 😝

anthonyboyle OI IT’S Y/N DAY

camilamorrone happy burfday y/n!!! love you loads!!! 🥳❤️

austinbutler Funny thing, I took this photo. 🌚

keoghan92 LMAO calling him out! tbh it looked like a photo taken by you 😉

callumturner Fuck off the both of you 😂

rafflaw Austin won’t reply to a text but he’ll comment on an Instagram photo. Got it.

yourinstagram austin i told you not to send him the photo 😩 i look horrible! delete!

callumturner Impossible. Never.

liked by zendaya, rafflaw, and 41896 others

yourinstagram Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes & thank you to all my friends and family who joined our little family on my birthday excursion 😘 life has never been better since our little man joined us ♥️

view all comments

keoghan92 not fair that austin hogged him the entire week! me and brando had plans for the little guy!

oliviadejonge love you 🥀

fan23 This little family owns my heart. ❤️

liked by user12, yourinstagram, and 577 others

callumnews Callum’s happy reaction when his son yelled out “daddy!” during the panel 😭

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fan23 all the guys talking about what a great dad he is made me tear up

fan42 “Uncle Austin is the favorite” confirmed by callum lmao barry was heated!!

fan12 He was eager to get on that stage haha! @yourinstagram looks like he’s gonna follow in his dad’s footsteps!

yourinstagram 😂😂 seriously he loves the attention and he’s such a daddy’s boy he kept trying to head on stage

liked by appletv, rafflaw, and 12945 others

yourinstagram #tbt dad life

view all comments

keoghan92 Oh yeah 100%

user13 this is the most of his face they’ve shown

user14 don’t be weird

callumsfamily I miss when the little man couldn’t walk y/n have another!

yourinstagram 😉

fan21 OMG

liked by fan13, zendaya, and 17322 others

yourinstagram MOM LYFE

view all comments

yourfriendsinstagram I miss kissing his chubby baby rolls (and tell Callum to stop taking photos of you in the shower)

fan12 LOL

fan23 It’s funny to picture Y/N trynna shower and Callum and their baby waiting patiently on the toilet 😂😂

yourinstagram they do NOT wait patiently 😂

liked by fan13, fan55, and 88154 others

callumnews Callum greeting his mother as she joined him, Y/N, and her grandson for a day at the park. She was bestowed an award at Parliament House last week for her contribution to gender and cultural equality and she dedicated it to her grandson. All photos of their child had his face blurred out of respect for the Turner family.

view all comments

fan23 He lives on Callum’s shoulders 😂

fan12 Y/N is living all my fanfiction dreams tbh

user23 I hope magazines and fans continue to blur out his face in photos until Callum and Y/N are ready.

fan53 Callum’s mom is so awesome wow

yourinstagram she’s the coolest & the most amazing nan! ♥️ the little guy calls her about 20 times a day because he loves her so much and we have to remind him she has work which he does not like to hear 😂

liked by austinbutler, yourinstagram, and 1533470 others

callumturner time flies when you’re having fun has never felt more existential than since we were blessed with this little human.

We are aware that because of my line of work people will be curious and photos will be taken. As his parents, me and Y/N want to protect him and get ahead of it. To my fans and to the media, if you respect me or basic human decency, we ask that you please only allow the photos we post of our son to grace the internet. Thank you.

view all comments

fan23 Guys if we love and respect Callum like we say we do let’s promise to help protect their son’s privacy!

anthonyboyle Holy shit he’s looking more like his dad every day ain’t he?

keoghan92 Poor lad

-

Completely fictional! Barry is all up in the comment section and Raff Law is always all up in the likes but it’s because those two are always (or used to be) online haha

Let me know if ya’ll liked it and if you’d want more 🫶🏻

[theangelbabies]

hey just saw your blog and love it sm! do you do headcanons for more than one person? like i have an idea of reader who is obsessed with hello kitty. as i love it and Sanrio sm! 🤭🫶🏽

for example some of the things could be the matching trousers and buying them stuff like earmuffs or necklace or something.

im thinking about more than one person in the Harry Potter fandom. If you can do it, May the people included be:

Tom Riddle

Draco Malfoy

Matteo Riddle

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

tysm!!

HIII!! Sorry it took me soo long to respond! Of course i write for multiple people:3 I actually love this request because i absolutely adore hk and sanrio!!<3 (Its my first time writing anything so if u have any tips tell me and sorry for any mistakes pls be mindful:p)

let’s get started!

𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑹𝒀 𝑷𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑩𝑶𝒀𝑺 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑹𝑬𝑨��𝑬𝑹 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑹𝑰𝑶

♡𝑻𝒐𝒎 𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 :

- At first when he walked into your room… he literally almost walked out LMAO

- He would find it absolutely childish which you found actually funny

- You explained to him why do you like it andddd he would still not understand why do you like it so much

- maybe after some time he would get used to it, hes still a bit confused but more why do you spend so much money on buying it😭

- ABSOLUTELY DESPISE SLEEPING AT YOUR ROOM BECAUSE OF ALL THE PLUSHIES

- he feels like hes being observed by all of them

- he wouldn’t really listen to you when youre yapping abt sanrio characters because he’s too focused on doing homework but after some time he would admit that hes favourite is

“The one that looks like penguin” … which is badtz maru 😭🙏

- he wouldn’t rlly support your obsession by buying it without occasion but he would buy it for you for your birthday, valentines or any other holiday:3

♡𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒐 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒇𝒐𝒚 :

- He would be confused at first definitely but i feel like if you would explain why you like it to him he would be more understandable

- Draco actually got used to everything pretty quickly which kinda shocked you, but it’s only because of tiktoks about the hello kitty lovers…

- SPOOOOOOOILS YOU WITH EVERYTHING WITH HK AND SANRIOOOO!! he would buy u anything you want

- Would wear the matching hk pants with only to stop the constant begging coming for u to match😭😭

- He says he doesn’t like sleeping in your room also because of the plushies BUT THEN YOU CATCH HIM SLEEPING BETWEEN THEM IN YOUR ROOM WHILE CUDDLING ONE OF THEM

- Gets jealous when he catches you cuddling your plushie 😣

- He would listen to you at first when you’re talking about the characters but then he would zone out but he would still listen and actually find it really cute how fascinating you’re talking about it

♡𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒐 𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 :

- HE WOULD FIND IT ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE

- I ♡ sweet matty so i headcanon he loves this life

- know the tiktoks, he saw them and he finds them hilarious and he wants to even make one (i don’t know if u know what i mean or if u saw it but there was this one tiktok with boyfriend tied and mouth taped while sitting on bed full of hk/sanrio plushies😭😭) HE WOULD TOTALLY WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!

- Hes the type of bf that fights and hit your plushies when you’re not there or went to the toilet 😣

- Matty has problems with sleeping but he always sleeps the best when he is sleeps cozied up between your plushies like hes literally like this :

- Loves stealing the plushies because they smell like you which helps him with sleeping and comforts him

- Doesn’t buy u much of the plushies because he think u already have so much of them but he definitely buys u things like jewellery or keychains etc!

♡𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑷𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 :

- He loves it from the beginning, you don’t even have to explain it to him, he doesn’t need it, he doesn’t mind anything

- Has matching pfp with you on social media

- Harry looooves doing the face maska with you, the first picture at the beginning of the headcanon is literally the two of you

- He buys u even more plushies to this point that u have to tell him to slow down because they don’t fit in your room anymore

- You have to give him some of them which he doesn’t complain abt because as mattheo he has sleeping problems because of the nightmares he has ☹️

- DEFINITELY HAS MATCHING PJS AND HE EVEN PROUDLY WEARS THEM OUT WITH YOU (at least in commom room if you’re also in Gryffindor and if not he definitely wears them to sleep whether you sleep together or alone)

- Has matching bracelets with u with hello kitty :3

♡𝑪𝒆𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝑫𝒊𝒈𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒚 :

- Cedric doesn’t mind, he finds it actually really sweet and laughs at it but absolutely not in a mean way

- Loves to hear u yapping about your passions (sanrio🤭) and definitely tries to remember the characters

- He also doesn’t really like sleeping in your bed but because he feels like theres not much space for you two to cuddle ☹️

- Ced loves to tease you about it especially when you’re talking with your friends

- Has matching pjs with you!!

- Buys you anything you want and definitely supports your addiction with hk and sanrio

- If you have the earmuffs he definitely loves to steal them and wear it himself lmao

- Reposts tiktoks about your obsession all the time🤭

- Gets you the hello kitty cake for your birthday <3

˚✧₊⁎⁎⁺˳✧༚･:*+.\*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'

Thats itttt!!!🤭🤭 I hoped you guys liked it. Im still trying to improve my writing skills so if you have any fic ideas please send me sum so i can keep getting better and better :** Tried my best today, again sorry for the wait and have a good day/night babies <3 Love Yall!!

[newestq]

hey !! i loved the p1h as boyfriends headcannon u wrote keep it up <333 i was wondering if you could write something like attractive things p1h does in a relationship. thank uu <33

so sorry this took so long to post ! this sort of turned turned into things that you and piwon do in a relationship, lmao.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ attractive things p1h does in a relationship, requested

ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ lowercase intended, send in your requests

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

୨ yoon keeho, ୧

ꕥ always takes your pictures, .5's all the time, funny lock screens of each other, he loves to blow raspberries on your stomach, always puts mandu in the middle when y'all cuddle, sends you random youtube videos that pop up for him, likes to bite your lip out of nowhere when y'all cuddle, tries on your clothes and takes a photo shoot, sends you like $250 and just says "treat yourself baby ;)."

୨ choi taeyang, ୧

ꕥ cleaning while listening to disney music, good morning/good night texts, sends you pictures of his plants, giggles while kissing you, he is a sucker for photo-booth pictures + he tapes them on his mirror, sings to you on face-time, bath and bodyworks spree, tweezes your eyebrows, face-times his mom and you three talk for hours, will bite your foot if it's by him.

୨ choi jiung, ୧

ꕥ paints your nails, nature walks, writes little notes to you and puts them in your bag every time you two hang out, learns new recipes to cook for you, loves hand holding and cuddling, plays piano for you, dyes your hair for you, romantic baths together, kisses your beauty marks.

୨ hwang intak, ୧

ꕥ buys you flowers, lets you play with his hair, face masks, refuses to watch ahead in the shows you guys watch together, helps you with laundry, coordinates your outfits, takes pictures of you while you're sleeping for blackmail, sits on the toilet and talks to you while you shower/bathe, spontaneously buying fish and a fish tank.

୨ haku shota, ୧

ꕥ makes you ramen even though he isn't the best at cooking, buys squish-mellows for you every time he sees a new one, mcdonalds dates, lets you wear his clothes, sends you funny snaps about his day, is shy to say 'i love you' so he taps your arm in sets of three throughout the day, minecraft plays until 3am.

୨ kim jongseob, ୧

ꕥ lets you rest your head on his shoulder when he's playing games, shows you how to play games, fixes you tea when you can't sleep, dedicates songs to you, creates playlists full of songs he's heard you listen to, watches rom coms with you, roblox tycoons together, pierces your ears together.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

[onboardsorasora]

I was re reading that Drabble of Maxiel’s Baby and I don’t about you but I think Noah should have a sibiling hahaha

Oh Bestie you just know the words to derail my brain don't you?? Of course I couldn't just....not think about it lol I banged this one out, I have not reread it so I hope its ok lmao

This is set in the universe of this birthday party and this drabble

Daniel had giggled when he pressed ‘post’ on the photoset, the picture of him napping front and centre. He hadn’t been joking when he said Vegas was exhausting– the completely odd hours, the long wait during free practices. It had been a lot of events crammed into a very short space of time. 

Daniel had just thought he was being old and cranky with how tired he was. He’d declined every invite to go party, kissed Max’s pouting lips and sagged with relief in their hotel suite. It wasn’t until he saw the videos of Lewis and Fernando having a blast that he thought maybe he shouldn’t have been as tired as he was. 

It didn’t too matter– he’d been delirious that one Friday and when Pyry had suggested power naps to combat the exhaustion, Daniel had happily closed his eyes and slipped his head on Blake’s unwilling shoulder.

Now as the fireworks went off in Abu Dhabi to usher in the end of the season, Daniel idly knew Max was on his way from one media pen to another– doing double duty as race winner and champ. Daniel would wait for him in their room. Once he finished his commitments here at the track, he’d collect Noah from Geri (no doubt his presence was already triggering the ole ‘we should have another’ conversation between the Horners). And then they would go to take a nap in the big bed while they waited for Papa.

Or that would be the plan, if he could ever stop puking his intestines up.

He’d been in there for just under fifteen minutes already. Because that's about as long as the fireworks show in AD normally lasts. Blake was outside the door, he’d knocked a few times and Daniel had answered with groans. He knew if he didn’t answer with human words soon, Blake was going to call Max. 

When he felt vaguely human again– this took give or take another ten minutes– Daniel flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out in the sink. He felt rung out, even more dehydrated than at the end of the race. His face was pale and splotchy, yeah he looked sick as fuck. There would be no hiding it. 

With a shaking hand, he unlocked the door. Blake stood by, along with Pyry and Franz. The three of them looked alarmed at his pallor. There was a flurry of movement and before Daniel knew it, he was in his driver’s room and a nurse was taking his blood pressure. 

“Guys, I’m fine. Probably like just a bit dehydrated or something.” Daniel mumbled, they were being complete mother hens and they needed to quit before someone got the dumb idea of pulling Max from his media commitments.

“Nah mate, this is more than just dehydration.” Blake mumbled, he looked as worried as when Daniel had broken his hand. Of course, this wasn’t anything like that.

“You’ve been really tired lately–” Pyry started.

“Yeah– Vegas was shit. Everyone was tired.” Daniel cut in.

“But you were like….way more tired.” Blake mumbled, Daniel rolled his eyes. “Danny, you were napping everywhere. Like literally everyone has pictures of you sleeping. It's like ‘where's lando’ all over again.” Blake threw his arms up in exasperation.

“I’m fine.” Daniel insisted. “Maybe my iron’s low or something.”

They all bickered (much to Franz’s amusement) and pretty much ignored the nurse as she jotted down his vitals and then started scrolling through an ipad.

“Daniel, you gave your updated blood sample this weekend, correct?” The nurse asked and Daniel nodded, eyes wide from being cut off from whatever childish retort he was going to give Blake. He had stopped by the medical bay Thursday morning like they had asked. He’d given a new sample in Austin, when they cleared him to race. But in Vegas, Blake had received an email asking for a new sample. They didn’t think anything of it, this happened all the time. 

The nurse scrolled on her ipad again and bit her lip, before looking at all the people in the room staring back at her. 

“Was there something wrong with that sample too?” Daniel asked, trying to lead her into telling them what she found. Her reaction wasn’t good. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good either.

“Uhm, maybe some privacy?” She asked, her voice tight.

“No it's fine” he sighed, they’d all hear about it– whatever it is. Blake was his manager, Pyry was his interim trainer. Franz was his boss, well ex boss. All people who needed to know details about his health and wellbeing.

“Well, um.” She bit her lip and seemed very uncomfortable. Daniel sighed, preparing for the worst. “Congratulations? You're pregnant.” the nurse winced awkwardly. Daniel’s eyes widened comically. Blake’s mouth dropped open.

“Oh shit!”

All eyes turned to the door to see Max’s surprised form with his arm up poised to knock on the door. His wide blue eyes found Daniel’s and the largest grin cracked open his face. Franz clapped Max on the shoulder and ushered the poor nurse out of the room. Pyry shuffled Blake out and closed the door behind them.

“Noah’s gonna be a big brother?” Max whispered and Daniel smiled wetly. Max sat on the couch beside him and collected Daniel into his arms. 

“I’m pregnant?” Daniel whispered in awe as bits and pieces of the last few weeks started to make sense. “I guess I should lay off the red bulls for now, huh?”

“Yeah. We, of course, don’t want the baby coming out with fucking wings as advertised.” Max giggled and Daniel snorted into his shoulder. Daniel clung to him a bit longer before easing back and staring into wet blue eyes.

“You’re gonna be a Papa again.”

Max surged forward and kissed him. He was so happy.

Of course, this changed a lot of things. There were many contracts that now needed to be broken, many clauses rewritten. A new baby changed so many things. But that was for the future; the Max and Daniel of tomorrow. 

For now, they were going to bask in the knowledge that they were expecting. Then they would go into the garage where, no doubt, all of Alpha Tauri already know– because Franz was a huge gossip queen. And then after accepting all of their congratulations, they would go to the Red Bull garage where, of course, Helmut has already told Christian and all the guys there because Hemult was nothing if not Franz’s partner in crime.

Tonight they will enjoy it. They will take their son home and cuddle him in bed. Tomorrow they can start the planning. 

[rainmustfallts4]

Project Pisces ◇ Wu G1, Part 5

⊶⊰Information⊱⊷ ⊶⊰Chronological (all)⊱⊷ ⊶⊰Chronological (Wu)⊱⊷

─────────────⊶⊰⊱⊷─────────────

Ya know, I’m not fond of the whole “tropical beach warm weather sun sand” thing, but I can’t lie and say Sulani isn’t beautiful as hell. It feels like Florida – a place you can visit but shouldn’t live.

Todd found a cave 👀 Something was calling out to him, drawing him in so he just had to explore!

Todd, you big baby! You should have stayed and took pictures! 😦

When we got home, the butler was passed and I have no idea why.

This bitch uses as much pepper as my mom does ;_;)

Stop fucking cussing! You’re going to teach the damn food a bad lesson! For fuck’s sake, the nerve of some people.

Aww look at Porkchop! 💙

The more I see Darnell’s hair, the more I dislike it. I might have to send him to get a hair change 👀

I think Darnell is the only person in the house that she can actually stand.

I wish I had a better laptop so I could bump up the graphics. It’s already so pretty, I bet it’s gorgeous on max graphics.

Um, excuse me, sir, can you get your ass off the sandwich?!

Now, Jolene may have been the one to buy the mini shoats (sheep-goat) but she’ll be damned before she’s the one taking care of them!

Apparently kids aren’t able to feed and care for them?? Tf

He is… completely shameless lmao bro ain’t even trying to hide.

“So, baby girl… what is toilet terror?”

Her body tensed, wide eyes snapping toward him. “Where… did you hear that?”

“It was in your diary.”

Wow, Todd. At least he’s honest, I guess.

She sighed deeply, shoulders slumping as she began to explain.

You are so proud of yourself, huh.

[silence-between-seconds]

OK NOW YOUR TURN

pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have

HELLO THANK YOU

*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.

how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.

This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:

anyway

technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:

needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.

By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.

UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.

✨Drugs✨

the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)

anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.

now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)

to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)

but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.

oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not

in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)

lemme insert a quick meme here:

(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)

he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea

my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"

lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."

NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)

now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.

their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.

now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.

anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:

✨chai✨

you have reached the end. congrats.

[eldritchsurveys]

1263.

Were you alone today? >> I was/am. I usually am when Sparrow is busy with work/school, which is six days out of the week.

Who was the last person you saw today? >> I haven't seen anyone.

What do you need to let go of? >> I think I've let go of a lot, actually. As far as whatever I'm still holding onto is concerned... it happens when it happens. The process of releasing what needs releasing is not a process I'm willing to rush. In fact, rushing it is just a solid guarantee that it will backfire.

What movie are you looking forward to? >> Robert Eggers's Nosferatu does sound amazing and I'm looking forward to seeing it -- hopefully in theaters.

Have you played the lottery? >> Aside from the occasional scratch-off, I have not. I restrict my gambling to Jumbo Cactpot in the Manderville Gold Saucer, thank you very much.

What recently happened that made you proud of yourself? >> Recently it's usually something like being vigilant about taking care of myself or recognising when something is activating my nervous system and taking care of that instead of trying to ignore or push past it.

Who did you see the most today? .

How much is gasoline per gallon? >> It vacillates between $2.90 and maybe... $3.60? regularly. Apparently, one of the gas station franchises that's popular around here has this particular daily-roller-coaster effect on the local gas prices.

What was your horoscope today? Was it accurate? >> I don't read your average daily horoscopes.

What are you most afraid of? >> Incarceration.

What’s the biggest thing you have going on? .

What did you accomplish today? >> I made the decision to skip an outing I was going to attend so I could rest a little more. I finally got Marazhai in my party in Rogue Trader (aka the whole reason I started playing that game in the first place, not knowing you don't even meet him until almost 30 hours in, lmao). I made some progress in catching up on my job quests in FFXIV. I made coconut rice. I buzzed my head and took a shower.

Did you act your age today? .

How busy was your day today? >> Not busy at all, which is needed. Next week is going to be a comparative whirlwind.

What is your address? >> 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Mockingbird Heights, state unknown.

What do you wish there was less of in the world? .

What is stopping you? .

What were your chores today? >> Today is a light-load day for me, so I just did small things like putting away those dish towels that have just been languishing on the island and making rice for the next few days, as well as showering.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? >> I don't remember.

Who did you eat dinner with? .

How did you make a difference in the world today? . What is one thing you take with you everywhere? >> I don't think this applies to anything. I don't even take my phone everywhere -- I went to the bodega yesterday and didn't bother taking anything with me except the money I needed for what I was getting. But to be fair, I do usually take my phone with me when I leave the house. Usually.

The last gift I’ve given was __. >> An hour at the cat cafe for Sparrow's birthday.

Ever wake up early on Saturdays to go Garage Sale shopping? >> I have not done this.

When was the last time you got a nose bleed? .

Do you have any picture frames without a picture in them? >> I do not.

Do you keep magazines by your toilet? >> I do not. There isn't even any space for that.

What did you last take a picture of with your camera? >> Something on my laptop screen. It was quicker and easier than any alternative method.

The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? >> I don't remember... it's been a while.

Are you proud of who you are? >> I suppose? I just don't think "pride" is an important feeling for me to have about myself.

If you were a waiter/waitress, would you make good tips? >> I would not be a waiter, this kind of hectic, unpredictable, socially demanding, highly customer-facing job isn't suited for me. Most jobs aren't, lol, but definitely not one like this. Forget about toppings. What type of CRUST do you like on pizzas? >> Excellent question. I like thin, crunchy crusts or kind of air-y crusts, I guess? Like when a crust has a lot of those big air bubbles in it, lol. I don't like thick, doughy crusts. This applies to other foods, too (why I prefer yeast doughnuts to cake doughnuts, for example).

Have you ever stolen a road sign or traffic barrier? >> I have not.

Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Who makes the better cereal? >> I don't like either one, so.

Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? >> Cone. Is chapstick a necessity for you? >> It is not, but shea butter and Vaseline Lip Therapy is.

What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies? >> I really like the lemon shortbread ones.

Do you constantly doubt yourself? >> Honestly, I just don't have anything much to doubt myself about. Like, I know my abilities (and my disabilities).

Do you like to have ice in your drinks? I like having cold drinks, but I'm not a huge fan of having ice in my drinks. It's admittedly somewhat of a dilemma, especially at places that don't chill their drinks in the fridge or something, haha. <- This exactly.

What did you eat for breakfast? >> I had Maruchan yakisoba instant noodles. What song are you most likely to sing in the shower? >> I don't sing in the shower. Teenage!me is aghast at this, lol, but I think nowadays I'm just focused on getting the whole experience done and over with, which doesn't leave much room/time/energy for anything else.

Can you cross your eyes? >> I can. Weird fucking sensation, that.

When was the last time you went to the dentist? >> Couple of years ago.

If a color represented your mood right now what color would it be and why? >> Like a periwinkle, maybe? That's just what came to mind, so I'm trusting it.

[thebanterboys]

My thoughts on the drunk Banter episode

Okay so George told his drunk story first and it was about the first time he got blackout drunk cause he doesn’t drink that much (Sapnap disputes this and says he gets drunk a lot but George was only talking about being the really far gone type of drunk lol) It was when Hasan and Austin visited his London flat for Tommy’s Love or Host and offered him to go out and drink with them. Afterwards George got so drunk that he went to Austin’s hotel room and threw up in his toilet and slept on his floor. Then he had a flight to catch to Ireland for the Sam & Colby shoot but he was still drunk when he woke up and threw up outside on the sidewalk(?) He barely made his flight it sounds like. It’s so interesting to hear the backstory to that because I think Austin or Hasan talked about drinking with George before and how crazy he acted so I guess this confirms it lol I’m sure someone could pull up the airport picture a fan took with George before he left for Ireland as well.

Honestly from the drunk stories that were hinting at George that I’ve heard before I think this is about how I expected drunk George to act lmao He was so talkative! And more affectionate too which led to a lot of clips that I can foresee circling the dashboard for days hehe Also that anon was right-George is simply a lightweight! They said he gets drunk after just three shots. Foolish is the opposite apparently and Sapnap thinks he could down the whole bottle of Fireball lol

The Hannah Rose bit that they kept going back to with George texting her about how drunk they were was kinda funny

Karl said that when Sapnap gets drunk he gets “deep” like he’ll start blabbing about how much he loves his friends, aww.

Also once again I feel like I’m just being proven right with every new episode that comes out that Sapnap is jealous of KNF and their friendship like he literally said he just wanted to feel included when Karl kissed George’s scratch like he couldn’t be more obvious about it. He got cut off but I think he was also in middle of saying “I wanna be sandwiched” at some point lmao I kinda feel bad especially because Karl & George were sharing Karl’s bed together to watch Death Note over and over again. No word on what Sapnap was doing at the time

Anyway, I really enjoyed this episode and I’m surprised they included so much footage because Sapnap made it sound like it would be really short but they managed to keep it over half an hour long. Editors got a bonus too apparently lol

[harumasafart]

ok so update, i just found zee and went back to pyloons saloon. i havent gotten very far but i just have so many things to say!!!!

ok so i dont know if i already mentioned this but i loveee the customization. its so in depth and i really like that you unlock small paint collections with a couple different colors/materials. and from there you can change every individual part and choose how polished they are, then you can change the ware overall. i love the vibrant coruscant color set so first, i made a silvery lightsaber with purple and pink accents with a purple blade. and same thing for bd-1. right now, i unlocked some more orangy colors so right now i have a brownish-orange saber with vibrant orange accents and an orange blade. might fuck around with it some more. and i am loving the tactical jacket that has a CAPEE. my boy is so stylish. i made his undershirt the scrapper one (because it has rolled up sleeves and only one glove) in blue. i cant wait to unlock more things and continue to play with customization. only thing is that i WISH you could save designs you make. maybe you can and i havent unlocked it yet (praying)

i really like the upgrades to the camera feature. i didnt mess with it a whole lot in fallen order but i really like how much more in depth it is. heres a picture i took

i really appreciate how much attention to detail there is. the decoration around the saloon is very nice and it feels very homey there.

also i need to mention that the subtle nods to jokes are so good. greez’s salt shaker, cal’s ponchos, THE LITERAL LIVE SLUG REACTION CREATURE (not the same one but you know.). also i must mention that the bathroom in the saloon is really cool? (and i laughed so hard when cal removed that thing from the toilet). ive never seen a star wars bathroom, except the one in disney land 😭 it was so dirty and ugly in there and it STUNK so bad and there were like 30 people in it. also the sinks were really weird and it took me a hot minute to figure out how to activate the sensor lmao

okay characters. mosey? she is so hot im gonna die. i like doma’s design. OKAY ZEE? i will die for zee. i love her so much shes the best droid ever. i love my high republic era droid and will protect her from all harm.

this game really is an upgrade in all categories. especially in cutscenes and story, it just feels much more polished and smooth. the cutscene after cal woke up was a particularly emotional one, what with the first real dig we’ve seen into cal’s emotions. we see him acting rash and emotionally, getting angry. its so interesting to see how he’s changed. and to see the rift between him and cere especially. he’s clearly avoiding it and i haven’t seen much yet, but im guessing that theyve gotten into more disagreements about how jedi should act. cere is very traditional in a lot of ways, where cal is doing what he needs to survive. from the trailers, it looks like cere’s trying to build up the jedi archives again, where cal is working with saw gurera or however you spell his name and trying to hit the empire where it hurts. cal is a man of action and that can’t be reasoned with. its just how he grew up. with the jedi order gone and him having to fend for himself and protect his identity from the ripe age of 10, he’s definitely not going to be a traditional jedi like cere, who became a master with her own padawan before it fell. she’s had more teaching and learned more lessons and overall taken away more than cal. he can’t just settle down. that’s not who he is. he needs to fight back and help others. he’s active and cere seems more passive. so anyway im excited to see where this goes.

thats about it i just wanted to sit and write my thoughts before i play too much and forget these things over more important things i’ll see later on.

[cyarsk52-20]

This Black Lady with the "mic check one two one two" lmao sis.

I'm going to live post the press conference.

Here’s the update on #CarleeRussell

The police chief, police captain, and the mayor of Hoover are going to speak.

It is stressed that THERE IS STILL AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION into what happened to her.

Hoover Mayor thanks the city police, other agencies, and the community of Hoover for helping to try and find Carlee.

Police chief now speaking. He said she took a robe and a roll of toilet paper from her job as she was leaving. I couldn't hear clearly what the other item was he said.

She then reportedly went to Target and about snacks including granola bars and Cheez Its.

She sat in the parking lot of the Target for a while before leaving.

They are now playing the 911 call. She reported seeing a small white little boy on the side of the road.

They received no other calls about the toddler. Carlee then called a relative to tell them the same thing. The relative was on the phone with her when she disappeared.

Her cell data shows she moved 600 yards while she was on the phone with 911.

In searching the car, they only found the food she got from Taziki's. They did not find the snacks she bought at Target nor did they find the items she took from her job before she left.

She told the police that when she went to check on the child, a man came out of the trees and told her he was checking on the child and then he grabbed her (Carlee).

She said she was held captive in the trailer of an 18 wheeler.

Lord. She searched stuff on the internet like "do you have to pay for an Amber alert" and "how do you steal out of a register without getting caught."

There were a lot of questionable/suspicious internet searches, but my group chat is also blowing up with this and i didn't catch

it all. I'm sorry. She said the man had a woman helping him, but that she never saw the woman; she only heard her voice. She said they made her take off all her clothes and she thinks they took pictures of her, but she was not sexually assaulted.

The police are basically saying without saying that this story was made up.

The police chief is saying there's no way a toddler would be able to travel 600 yards on the side of the interstate without wandering into the road.

The police chief is saying there's no way a toddler would be able to travel 600 yards on the side of the interstate without wandering into the road.

It sounds like she has been avoiding talking to police since her return on Saturday. At least that is the way the chief is framing it.

To be clear, the police know what they are doing with this press conference. They have to continue to investigation and bring it to its proper close, especially since it's a public spectacle at this point.

But make no mistake: The point of the press conference was to let the public know that the Hoover Police Department doesn't believe Carlee either.

She also told police that she was able to escape the 18 wheeler at one point, but they caught her again and took her to a house.

Her internet searches: "Do you have to pay for an Amber Alert?" "How much is a one way bus ticket to Nashville?" "How do you steal from a register without being caught?" "How old is too old for an Amber alert?"

This shit is about to go from crazy to salacious. They gonna make episodes of Snapped and everything about this. I'm glad Carlee is home safe. I also know this shit is about to get way uglier. And those conspiracy theorists are going to be insufferable and I got no time for any of this

Can one of my lawyer friends weigh in here? What happens if she refuses to speak to the police anymore at this point?

I just saw someone say "I wasted my prayers on her." Can prayers be wasted? I would like all the "Christ like" people to explain this to me. How does that work exactly?

I’d rather her be alive & a liar than be found dead or never found again. Her poor & insensitive actions will be something she will have to reckon with. But that doesn’t change how missing Black girls/women as a whole aren’t cared for or taken seriously.

And yts folks do not interact because you have no reason to speak because your fellow yts folks have been faking crimes for centuries, faking kidnappings, faking beatings, faking rapes and trying to pin it on black and people of color. Yes black folks had fake crimes before but there’s more of a history of yts folks doing it then anyone else. If you ain’t gonna bash people like Susan smith or Carolyn Bryant the same way you bash people like jussie smollett then don’t even say anything. Also if i see one more reference to smollett i stg… also Hoteps and nigcels and pick mes do not interact either.

[reverecurrent]

six curshes, tagged by @successsionhbo 🏜️

I'm tagging @bbeettle @meloqrama @trashpaintedgold @bashert @avgustea @loverstop @lovlettres @angelpassing @bonsaing @madyson

[rinsaint]

PERVY HAIKYUU BOYS <33

ft. suna, atsumu, && kuroo !! part 2 part 3

cw. THIS IS FILTHY, fem!reader, masturbation, panties being took, thinking of reader in a sexual way, pillow fucking, jerking off to readers voice without them knowing, nonconsensual pictures being took of reader, sniffing !! lmk if you guys want a part two with diff characters <3

SUNA RINTARO: Suna is a little sneaky bastard. He’s the most sneakiest out of those two. He definitely goes to your instagram and jerks off to your pictures. He does it often and he doesn’t feel no remorse about it. On the days that you were a cute little skirt when you two are going out, he would always let you go first up a pair of stairs because “ladies first” was always his excuse. But no, he just wanted to watch your skirt rise up as you walk up the stairs. Seeing your cute little panties and the imprint of your cunt that has him watering at the mouth. He would sneak out his photo to snap a few pics of it and when you reach the top of the stairs he lets out an innocent smile. Once he gets home he sits down on his gaming chair and thinks of the pictures he took. He would take out his cock and stroke it, looking at the photo. He would cum all over his phone but really, he doesn’t care. Your plump ass and your cute pink panties is all that he cares about. It has him coming in no time. He just wishes it was you, pumping his cock, he just wishes it was you playing with the tip of his cock. He just wishes it was you. All he wants is to stuff his cock inside you and he can’t even do that <\33.

ATSUMU MIYA: This guys definitely steals your panties. The first time when he’s over at your house he tells you he needs to go to the bathroom. He goes into the bathroom and as he’s taking a piss he notices a clothing basket and sees a pair of your panties he presumed. He gulped as he flushed the toilet pulling up his pants. He walks towards the basket and takes your panties into his hands, and fuck— there’s a stain on it. He brings it close to his face and takes a sniff making his mouth water imagining what you taste like. Ever since then, he has been taking your panties using them to make him cum. One of your panties around his cock, and one of the other being licked and sniff by him. And he knows it’s wrong but for it feels so good. HE DEFINITELY TRIES TO STEAL YOUR BRAS. i just have a feeling. Whenever you two are talking, you fail to notice him adverting his gaze to your exposed boobs wondering how it would feel for him to grab ahold of it, and suck on your pretty nipple, making moans from you come out. And thus, he would wanna steal one of your bras to also jerk off to it lmao. And he’s such a pussy to ask you out so this is the only way to help him cope </3

KUROO TESTSURO: Kuroo is sneaky but not as sneaky as suna. Kuroo always loves to touch you. it doesn’t matter where but he just wants to feel you. When he has to get pass you, he grabs your hips purposely saying, “excuse me angel” because he loves to see your flustered state. Thinking about how flustered you would be when he has you under him, cock piercing in and out of your tight and wet cunny. He also loves to brush his hands against your breast. And he always says that it’s an accident and apologises, but it’s really not and he’s not sorry. All he wants to do is grab your breast and just suck on them until you beg him to touch you. But sadly, that isn’t reality, so he has to cope by listening to your pretty little voice on the phone. Sounds normal right? Well it’s not because on the other side of the phone, kuroo is stroking and playing with himself to your voice. And he let’s out a groan as you stretch and moan telling him you had a crazy and tired day. And fuck, that his is dick throbbing. He just wants you so bad he doesn’t know what to do with himself <\33. He’s also one of those cheesy people who likes to share straws with you, he thinks that you two are technically kissing and that’s just enough for him to think about that when he’s humping into his pillow, thinking about your soft lips kissing on his neck, his face, his lips, his cock.

[writteninkat]

need 💳💥part 💳💥two💳💥of bnha boys thirst traps pls

HOW BNHA GUYS POSE FOR THIRST TRAPS (part II)

warnings: suggestive themes, 18+

a/n: agotchu boo ;*

part I

HANTA SERO

ugh those "just got out of the shower" mirror selfies 🥵

u send him a "wyd" text at the wrong time and he responds with a picture

u can see his hair is still wet, water droplets taking their sweet ass time streaming down his body mmmhh 🤤

his body isn't buff like katsuki's or eijirou's but he's definitely well-built like u can see the muscles but he doesn't rlly work on making them bigger

his towel is hanging loosely around his hips, giving u a clear view of his v-line and happy trail :D

TENYA IIDA

u texted him where he was and he sends u a video of him at home walking on their treadmill. without a shirt on. all sweaty.

holy fucking shit you almost asked him to walk all over you

his THIGHS oh my god his thighs you can't stop replaying the video just to watch his thighs flex

his face has always been this intimidating looking one and jesus christ your cunt is clenching around nothing

he doesn't even know what he's doing to you AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT WORSE

HITOSHI SHINSOU

he's laying on his bed and you can see he's shirtless, he looks like he just woke up, one eye closed and the other open, giving the camera a cute winky face

you replied a "good morning toshi" to his story and replies to you with a picture

it's a picture of the lower half of his body that wasn't in the pic- he's wearing black boxer shorts. aside from the rlly high-def picture of his abs you can also see the trail of veins that lead you to the tent in his underwear. the picture has a caption: come over and help me with this my love

u've never moved to get ready so fast in your life and in under ten minutes you're already knocking on his door frantically as you hear a chuckle at the other side

KEIGO TAKAMI

unshamely sent you a picture of him in only his red boxer shorts, his hand wrapped around his clothed, and very hard, cock

he has his every day smug smile

you can't help but drool as your eyes wander on his arms, chest and abs before zooming in to his dick lmao

nothing special really, it's just that after working out he felt a little strained down there and decided to tease you about it in the middle of your job before he took care of it

safe to say that after five minutes you have three fingers knuckle-deep inside you as you spread your legs open in the toilet as you listen to your husband's commands

navigation

[markantonys]

WOT sims shenanigans part 2!

remember how mat and elayne kept interrupting their initial getting together flirting to throw water balloons at each other? well, IMMEDIATELY after rand and aviendha had their first kiss, they ended the conversation so aviendha could do pushups and rand could build a sandcastle. we stan 4 useless bisexuals.

then they went home and fucked woohooed in elayne’s bed because neither of them had a double bed. i’m sure elayne didn’t mind!

elayne and avi got together as well, so the rand/mat/elayne/avi polycule is complete! i moved them all into a new apartment together (now they all have double beds! rip to rand and mat’s bunkbeds in the old household) and rand immediately wished to have a child. if coming down with baby fever one (1) hour after moving in with his partners isn’t a rand move, i don’t know what is.

look how soft 🥺

if one person walks in on 2 of their partners woohooing, or is walked in on by their partner, they don’t care at all. but since mat and avi are the only ones without a romantic relationship, they both get embarrassed if one walks in on the other with rand or elayne (tho rand and elayne do not get embarrassed). there are boundaries in this house that need to be respected, thank you!

i did not realize until looking at them from this angle and in these outfits what Fantastic asses sim rand and elayne have 😳 yes i’m the one who created the sims, but i didn’t pay attention to ass size while i was doing it jkfjg i just picked default body types and did some minor tweaks. i’ve now gone to inspect mat’s and avi’s asses and they’re both flat as pancakes rip

i gave mat the goofball trait which means that he WILL NOT STOP pranking toilets (unless i catch him in time to stop him). half the time he’s the first one to use a toilet he pranked and then gets mad when the toilet breaks. karma.

the Lan Thirdwheeling On Randlayne saga continues:

perrin and faile’s wedding was a hot mess. it started like 4 hours late because i was waiting for rand, mat, and elayne, who never showed up. (at this time i was controlling the other WOT household rather than the polycule household, so i couldn’t make those 3 come to the wedding.) and mat was the best man and elayne the maid of honor 💀 elayne is barely over the line between friends and acquaintances with faile but is still faile’s highest relationship after perrin, which is tragically canon lmao. and rand was supposed to be the flower girl again! how could he dip on his flower girl duties!

during this waiting time, gawyn went to cry under the bedcovers because he was depressed from Fear Of Unfulfilled Dreams and aviendha took a mudbath, facemask and all. clearly she’s been spending too much time with elayne. but what else are you supposed to do to destress from showing up at the wedding of your partners’ friends whom you barely know and then being abandoned there because your partners ditched?

half the guests didn’t watch the ceremony but came running to get cake afterwards. then nynaeve just threw out the whole cake after only a few people had taken slices.

finally, here’s egwene deciding to boogey down right in the middle of perrin and faile’s first dance. (not pictured: perrin dropping faile mid-dip, which gave her an angry moodlet jkfgjh)

date night!

breaking news: mat and aviendha have developed a small romance bar! fascinating. i was playing this household the whole time and controlling their every move yet have no idea when or how that happened. maybe they were in flirty group conversations with rand and/or elayne often enough that it ended up giving them romance points with each other as well. for now i’m thinking i won’t encourage it but i won’t make them friendzone each other either, and instead i’ll just see if anything happens. in the last post i was saying how sim mat keeps trying to seduce people without me telling him to or catching him in time to stop him and he’s gone and done it again! lucille bluth shouting whore out the car window.gif

lan called elayne to say that he was feeling down in the dumps and i picked the “try to cheer him up” option and got this dialogue 🥺 the friendship we didn’t know we needed!

i have a glitch lately where sometimes it doesn’t notify you when a sim’s needs get too low, so rand died of starvation because i didn’t even know he was hungry at all 😭 thankfully, i quit without saving and then immediately fed him when i restarted the game, so he is okay now! can’t believe rand was suffering in silence to such an extreme that he literally died before i noticed anything was wrong. painfully canon!

a few sim days later, the same thing happened to mat! on christmas! while he was holding a plate of food and about to start eating it! gawyn sobbed his eyes out over mat’s dead body while everyone else, including mat’s partners, gathered around to look at the corpse but just kept calmly eating christmas dinner and didn’t care at all. i quit without saving again so mat is alive again, but i’ll never forget that gawyn was the only one who cried over his death djfgj gold star for gawyn

the polycule is engaged!!! i love Love!!! so many proposals! you can see the sun progressively setting because it took so long to do all the proposals lmao. my favorite is elayne proposing to rand while mat dicks around on his phone and avi does situps. tune in in a couple weeks for the polycule wedding! and let’s have a prayer circle for it to run more smoothly than perrin and faile’s, but given the number of ceremonies i’m going to try to cram into one wedding event, i’m foreseeing an even bigger hot mess!