#I like him well enough but he is a spotlight stealer

[fortune-maiden]

Finished Season 2 rewatch!

All the issues I had with this season originally are still present but with the full context of the season the worst parts of it feel more tolerable

Still love the main trio and the creative use of photo diving this season! And all the setup for Season 3

[exodusin]

Can you do all the Bonnie's but they're yandere x fem reader and can you make it NSFW? (>~<)

note; there is no possessed kid in none of these robots, it's only the design. These are AUs where they are just killing machines with minds of their own. And some Bonnies will probably have fur- but they're still robots.

headcanon; the bonnies being yanderes over their little lady.

warnings; obsessive/possessive behavior, toxic relationships, gore maybe? sexual themes, and dubious marking. All the smut is consensual!

fnaf masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

And it's no joke. But also a fluffy one.

Normally when he's on stage he'll play his guitar like normal but when you are around...

Normally when he's on stage he'll play his guitar like normal but when you are around...

Normally when he's on stage he'll play his guitar like normal but when you are around...

He's all of a sudden the spotlight stealer.

“I hope you're watching, dolly. I want those beautiful (eye color) eyes on me.”

He'll make up millions of songs just for you. Making sure they're all original and well written.”

Sometimes when you doze off a bit while he's playing the guitar for you, he’ll force to turn your head to meet his red eyes.

“My dear, are you listening? Don’t doze off like that. It���s kind of rude, hehe.”

An attention seeker. Definitely.

He wants attention from when you're around.

Mainly on night guard duty.

NSFW

He's a switch.

But when he's a dom- oh dear...hes very possessive. But gentle like a bunny at the same time.

Hickies from his bunny teeth.

He'll bend you over the desk and hump you like a rabbit in heat.

“Ah! Yeah! Right there sweets! Fuck you're so good.”

“Look at how tiny you are. You're so cute when you're a moaning mess just for me.”

“You’re fucking mine. Gosh I love you.”

“You're perfect. So fucking perfect.”

Since he's not human, hell grope your body as much as possible to leave handprints on your skin.

He'll smack your ass over and over. Enjoying the sensation of the sift flesh against his bean paws.

But then later on rub it lovingly as an apology.

Toy Bonnie

Yikes

Easily jealous

He'll scare anyone with those deadly green eyes of his to not mess with his doll.

Likes scaring you out of nowhere to make you feel more helpless compared to him.

He can sometimes be a bit too mean.

For instance, “Hah! You couldn't keep the music wind up on the first hour and got scared over the puppet. Ridiculous human.”

He likes teasing you a lot.

“Don't worry, I'll make sure no one disturbs you on the job. That is if, you are willing to be mine sweetheart.”

He loves your eyes so much. Just looking at them would make his ‘heart’ race.

Just like the first bonnie. He'll make songs for you but the difference is...he's too shy and overthinks if the songs aren't good enough.

What a hypocrite; enjoys teasing you at your frightened state while he can be bat-shit crazy over you.

Speaking of crazy.

NSFW

He can be a mean dom sometimes or a nice one.

Likes pulling you're hair a bit.

Not too much tho. Despite him being an asshole, hurting you was not on the agenda.

His cottontail wags when he rails you but never admits it.

“Daww, I just inserted one finger on ya and now you're tearing up for more? Don't make me laugh.”

He loves marking your breasts, apart from your eyes- your breasts are his favorite part of your body while having sex ; they're so soft and they're all his to play with.

Pinches your body a lot to get squeaks from you.

You two would mostly do it in the third-party room.

Withered Bonnie

A possessive yandere.

You're an employee who checks on the withered animatronics.

At first he didn’t gave a fuck about you. You were probably just like any other employee.

Money, money, money. No effort.

But you spoke to him mostly while trying to make sure he was still functioning.

Talking to him as if he was actually listening.

And surprise surprise. He listens to all your sayings.

You are an angel- no a goddess to his red eyes.

You were so tiny compared to him. His hand can cover your whole face with no space available if he wanted to.

Hearing your voice brings him lots of joy. The sound he tolerates- no worships instead of hearing that disgusting sound of the guitar playing from his plastic replica.

You are the apple of his eye.

NSFW

“C-C’mon, moan in my ears, doll face. Let me hear you. I know you can…”

“Shhh, stay still. I’m trying to mark your body as mine. To make you more beautiful. It’ll hurt just a bit.”

Since he doesn’t has a mouth- due to his face being missing- his iron fingers will trace your jaw and collarbone to mark you as his property.

Thigh riding!!!!

He loves it when you sit on his lap as you rub your soft exposed clit onto the rough texture of his lap.

His red eyes will stare at you like hawk, watching your every move when you ride him.

His eyes will never leave you during sex. Ever.

Not for anyone. Nor the world.

Office sex or…fucking in the middle of the office hallway on the glassy black and white floors.

Nightmare Bonnie

Oh fucking boy.

The most deadliest, obsessive, and possessive out of all the Bonnies.

He’s so fucking in love with you- gosh. He can’t describe his adorance towards you. No words can reach your beauty.

And not from your looks. But from your heart.

But yeesh, does he dare to say- when you’re scared- fuck, you are so beautiful.

Every step you take, every word you say, every breathe you take- there’s always the purple Bonnie plush everywhere you go.

You are indeed most wonderous of all fair to him.

You’re hair smelt absolutely lovely- not to mention soft when he gently pulls the strands away from your face to get a better view of your sleeping face.

If any of the nightmares try to get close to you he’ll warn them to not even try.

He is some sort of demonic spirit- so he’ll not only stalk you at home- but outside hiding the darkest corners- looking at you like a lion hunting for a gazelle.

“You’re so beautiful. I’ll make anyone’s life a living hell if they try to get comfy with you, my darling~ I’m all you need.”

“You’re a jewel that lives in a world full of dirt. No one is worthy of having you, no one but me.”

NSFW

Be prepared for some unforgettable nights.

Fear play? Fear play.

“Look at you. Trembling and scared. Scared I might accidentally stick my claw in your cute pussy? Don’t worry, I won’t…or will I? Hehe.”

He’ll carve his name onto your thighs with his claws of overly sharped steel. Fuck he loves your thighs- they felt like he was squeezing marshmallows.

Don’t be surprised when he nibbles them.

You both are aware of his carnal desires so a safe word is a must when he goes overboard with your thighs.

If you dared to wear thigh highs—you won’t be able to walk more than a week.

He’ll overly mark your thighs until they are the shade of purple instead of red. He wants your bruises to be the same color as his ‘skin’.

“You’re mine right?”

“Mhhm…”

Not a good enough answer.

“Y/N L/N belongs to Bonnie and nobody fucking else’s, right???”

“Yes, Bonnie I'm yours. And you're mine.”

“Good, good. What a good girl you are.”

[heavenlyhaechan]

The Pursuit of Happiness

Pairing: Ten x Gn!Reader 

Genre: strangers to friends to lovers au, fluff, a teensy tiny itty bitty basically nonexistent bit of angst, 

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: very brief mentions of stress, 

Rating: PG 

Note: happy birthday ten!!! 

The day was bright and sunny, which inconveniently contradicted your mood. You wouldn’t have to be outside for long though you reminded yourself, just long enough to get a net of clementines from the co-op down the street. This small bit of happiness would have to be enough to hold you over until finals were finished and you could finally breathe again. 

The bell on the door jingled merrily, another offensive clash with your mood. You headed straight for the produce section, your eyes watching your feet as they moved you forward. You knew your way around this little shop so well you were sure you could find what you wanted with your eyes closed. 

When you saw the last net of clementines sitting on the old wood shelf, the blue of the net complimenting the bright orange fruit, your heart leaped. Well maybe not leaped, but certainly sat up a little straighter. Your hand reached for them, but just before your fingertips could brush the netted plastic it was being snatched away by a quicker shopper. 

Your heart sunk again as you looked up to meet the eyes of the clementine stealer. His dark bangs fell into his eyes and down his neck, and a mole stared at you from under his left eye. He looked a bit confused which only proceeded to aggravate the indignation now building in your chest. 

“Uhhh,” he began, eyes moving back and forth from you to the clementines in his hand. 

“I’ll pay you for them,” you interrupted him, hands rummaging in your pockets for your wallet. 

“No no it’s okay,” he shook his head emphatically. “You can just have them.” 

It was then that you were reminded of the way you’d left your residence, half asleep after a three-hour nap that had been proceeded by your third all-nighter this week. You were in the same clothes you’d been wearing yesterday, wrinkled no doubt, with circles that made you resemble a raccoon imprinted under your eyes. 

And yet if the sympathy of this stranger meant that you got your treasured clementines, then you couldn’t complain. 

“Okay,” you took them from him. “Thank you.” 

“Sure,” he nodded amicably. “Just know that you owe me.” 

——

“Wow, there’s a lot of people here,” you said to Yuta as you took your seats. Nearly every chair in the auditorium had already been taken and people were still filing in through the double doors that led to the lobby. 

“For good reason,” he told you as he leaned back in his seat. “They’re really good.” 

You had agreed to go with him to see his friend Sicheng and his dance company perform a while ago, so long that it had almost escaped your mind today. You supposed it was a good thing that Yuta never failed to give you countless reminders for everything in your life, from a project due to an event that you had promised to attend with him months ago. 

Just as you began to flip through the program in your lap the lights in the audience went down only to be replaced by a single spotlight. A man appeared from the side of the stage to announce the upcoming performance before disappearing backstage once more. 

The dark and silence that followed made you feel like the entire audience was holding their breath. Then the red velvet curtain parted and the show began. 

——

You clung to Yuta’s arm so as not to lose him in the crowd as you wove your way through the lobby to the door marked with a neon exit sign. He had agreed to meet Sicheng outside after the performance and so there you waited, hands stuffed in your pockets to ward off the winter chill. 

Soon enough a chattering group exited the building, their stage makeup looking comical under the light of the streetlamps. 

“Sicheng!” Yuta cried as his friend emerged from within their midst to greet him. You laughed to yourself at the modest and faintly embarrassed expression on his face as Yuta began to talk his ear off about the intricacies of the show you’d just watched. 

Leaning against the brick wall of the building you watched as people hugged each other goodbye, feeling oddly out of place. Then you were met with the sight of a familiar face with a familiar mole under the left eye. 

“I’m pretty sure you owe me,” he said as he leaned against the wall next to you. 

“Oh, you were serious?” 

“Of course.” 

You stared him down, waiting for him to waver. But he didn’t. Instead, he just smiled at you like you were an old friend, someone who he had shared tubs of popcorn with and borrowed a towel from after a summer day spent in the pool. 

You felt entrapped in his gaze, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. His eyes were warm and comfortable like a rare spot of sun on the wood floor in winter. It wasn’t exactly a staring contest you were partaking in, but you still didn’t want to be the first to look away. 

“I don’t even know your name,” you finally conceded. 

“Ten,” he said simply, reaching out a hand to shake. 

You told him your name and he repeated it back to you, rolling the foreign syllables around on his tongue like they were peas fresh out of the pod. Your name, something so mundane after hearing it so many times, sounded fresh and beautiful coming from him. 

“So how about you buy me an ice cream cone to pay off your debt.” 

“It’s too cold for ice cream.” 

“It’s never too cold for ice cream,” he said cheekily before turning to say goodbye to his friends. 

You stepped forward as well to let Yuta know where you were going, and after an affirmation from Sicheng that Ten wasn’t a creep, he let you go with a promise that you’d text him when you got home. 

——

“So what’d you think of the performance?” Ten asked you before taking a bite of his green tea ice cream. 

You shuddered at the sight, gums cringing in phantom pain. He tilted his head like a cat would at your actions, and you quickly had to explain that it was aimed at him biting his ice cream, not at the performance. 

“It was amazing,” you said after the miscommunication had been cleared up. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mm.” 

Your mind drifted off for a moment as you relived the contents of the show you’d just watched. Some songs had been slow, strange, and hypnotizing. Others were much more upbeat, the energy in the room making you feel like you could fly up into the rafters of the grand auditorium. 

“What about me?” Ten asked, successfully jolting you from your fond remembering. 

“Huh?” 

“What do you think about me?” 

You smiled at the cheshire grin on his face, noticed the way his eyes twinkled with mischief. To yourself you thought, I think I’d like to see more of those eyes, but out loud you said: 

“I think I’d like to get to know you better.” 

——

Months passed and you did exactly that, got to know each other better. You learned that Ten actually hated fruit and that he had only wanted to buy the clementines for his roommate, the aforementioned Sicheng. You saw firsthand how hard he worked, how creativity ran through his veins in place of blood and leaked out of his pores in place of sweat. 

You quickly learned that he shared your affinity for coffee and so, since you only lived a few blocks away from each other, much of your time was spent haunting the local coffee shop. It was there that he told you of his home back in Thailand and of his family and friends there, as well as the story of how he started dancing. 

He talked a lot if you let him, but you didn’t mind. He was fascinating to listen to and to watch. Time and time again you found yourself sinking into the depths of his eyes as you listened, bathing in their warmth. 

He caught you doing just that a few times more than you’d like, laughing kindheartedly at your embarrassment before starting back up again where he had left off. He was always kind, even when he teased you for the purple butterfly sticker you bought to place over your laptop camera. 

“You watch too many crime movies,” he’d said before letting out an exaggerated yelp when you’d punched him in the arm. 

Tonight you were watching yet another crime movie on that same laptop, your blankets creating a nest for you to rest in. Ten sat next to you, his fingers braiding the loose strings on the side of one of those very blankets. Every now and then he would look up to watch you, barely remembering to pay any attention to the movie. 

Your brow creased as you focused on the crime detailed in the film, your eyes wide and reflecting the screen at him. Your shoulders were hunched in and for a moment he wondered whether it was from the cold. This made him realize how cold it was in your living room, despite all of the blankets, and so he slipped an arm around you until you were pulled up against his side and sharing his body heat. 

You jumped in response to his actions, almost crying out from surprise after being so engrossed in the movie before you. 

“Sorry, I thought you were cold,” he said quietly. 

“Oh. It’s okay,” you decided, not wanting to admit how comfortable he was and how nice he smelled. 

“Okay,” he said, moving his arm into a more comfortable position. You jumped again but for a different reason this time. 

“Sorry I-” he started to retract his arm. 

“No, it’s okay I just-” 

“Wait,” he cut you off, his trademark grin growing and filling you with anticipation. “Are you ticklish?” 

“No,” you said quickly, maybe too quickly. 

He let out a giggle and poked your side to test his theory. You jumped a third time, pushing him away in annoyance. But now he was laughing outright and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, any momentary exasperation disappearing as the golden sound poured out of your throats. 

The two of you sat there laughing for far too long and simultaneously not long enough, movie long forgotten. You hadn’t laughed like that since you were a kid, that exhilarating feeling where anything and everything is truly hysterical. 

Eventually, you lapsed from breathless giggles into giddy smiles. As Ten watched you, his heart still pounding like a drum in his chest, he had a rare moment of clarity. 

“I like you.” 

Once he came to the realization it wasn’t something he had to think about saying out loud. Why shouldn't you know? You were the only one that he cared to tell after all. 

“Like like?” you asked despite how childish you felt. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Like like.” 

Your lips parted in surprise at his words, eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings. 

“You don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to,” he said matter of factly. “I told you so you’d know, not so you’d say it back.” 

The corners of your mouth turned up against your will as you stared down at your hands where they rested in your lap. You realized then how easily smiling came to you since you’d met him. How easily happiness came. You no longer had to convince yourself that your small pleasures and indulgences were happiness, for in the time since you’d met Ten you had simply begun to believe it. 

“I like you too.” 

“Really?” his eyes lit up as he looked at you, mouth curving into a newborn smile. 

“Really.” 

[byeongqueen]

Bang Chan SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Pretty affectionate, but mostly in private. He likes those moments to stay intimate.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He was the upperclassman that helped you for an assignment, that turned into the really good friend who would always cheer you up, and listen to you when you need to, to then being your boyfriend.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He likes to have you on his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling your body as close to him as he can.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Doesn’t mind the idea of settling down, but after the group stops, or at least gets less active, because he wants to fully enjoy life with you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He could probably come out a little cold, but just because of how hurt he his, that he has to do that to you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Either wouldn't really want to, of you’d both stay at the fiancee stage for a long time. He doesn’t really want to put your relationship under the spotlight.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

So soft, whether its in his touch, or his way of acting towards you. He’ll always make sure you’re fine and happy.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

His hugs are warm, soft and comforting. If he hugs you because you’re upset about something, he’ll talk softly in your ear, almost like a whisper, and maybe sing to you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Pretty fast I think. He’s also the kind to ask if you still love him a few times a day, just to be sure you aren’t fed up of him or his tiring life (but honestly who could get tired of Bang Chan)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not really jealous, but can be a bit self conscious? Like some time you’d be talking about how much fun you had with a colleague at work and he’d worry a little. But he would never tell you to not hang out or talk with someone, you well being comes first.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft little pecks, literally everywhere. Likes to kiss your forehead and head a lot.

He likes it when you come up and kiss his cheek out of the blue, while on your tippy toes, it makes you look cute.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Just as protective as he is of you. He would probably be a bit scared at first, to hurt them. But once he gets to know them and see how much they like him, he’ll try his best to make them laugh, and have fun.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pretty simple mornings. On a few occasions he’d like to try and make a small breakfast for you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Lots of cuddling, watching movies, after having dinner together. He thrives for simple evenings at home, when he barely ever does that at the studio.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s pretty open about himself, but the deeper things you’d have to gain his trust before knowing it. He only opens up to those who he has a great feeling with, meaning you, his members, and a few friends.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very patient, well, living with 7 children he has to be!

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He is a monster, he remembers everything, even the smallest details you would yourself forget.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time he saw you front row at one of their concert. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and Jisung had to tap his shoulder to bring him back with them.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He isn’t that jealous, but he is quite overprotective from time to time. He has been through some rough times, and he doesn’t want that ever happening to you. He always asks you how your day went.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would try hard. When he’s here, expect a lot of flowers, he’d also bring back little gifts for you from every country they visit.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Thinking he’s not enough? (I feel like I never put bad “habits” here, I’m the worst). He has a tendency to be really hard on himself, in various aspects of his life.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Like a 4/10, he likes to look good for you, but knows that you don’t care that much

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Completely incomplete. You’ve been a huge part of his life, and even when he goes on tour, he can’t help but feel something is missing.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He would want to introduce you to the group, as soon as your relationship got serious. He’d often reassure you that the boys would absolutely love you. And they did.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He hates mean people, bullies. If you’re mean to anyone without a reason, he’s probably talk to you about it, and how it makes him feel.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tends to sing to you right before he falls asleep. (that’s cute) I also feel like he is a blanket stealer.

[barefoot-pianist]

Les Mis – Sondheim Theatre (New Production) – 28/01/20

** HUGE HUGE SPOILER ALERT! CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED**

**second disclaimer: it is nearly half midnight and I’ve been on the go since 5:30am, please forgive rambling, meta commentary to myself, and bad grammar. I just wanted to get this all out whilst it was still fresh**

General

YES the new staging was 90% a hit. I liked it. It was great to see Les Mis performed in a radically different way, I think, and enough was kept (like, for example, the basic structure of One Day More) that it didn’t feel totally alien and I didn’t miss the turntable all that much?. The opening scene is now on a ship, rather than in a mine. More on specific stagings below.

THE. SET. WAS. BEAUTIFUL. There is literally no other word for it. The original Les Mis set is quite minimalist, I think, whereas this one was lush – heavily centred on the idea of houses, which really gave more of a feel to the Paris streets. They had tenements and posh houses, the barricade was still huge, don’t worry, and they had a staircase which was in the café and the Thenardiers’ inn, etc. The scale really worked as well – like in Who Am I, the courtroom felt enormous as opposed to the little mobile thing they had before.

A preface to this point is that I don’t think I’m the right person to offer a critical commentary on race & the cast of Les Mis, but I think it is worth flagging – will 100% defer to folks with more experience/expertise. There were four black cast members – Éponine, Gavroche, and two of the chorus, which is way more than I’ve ever seen in the West End in this damn show. I’m under no illusions that Les Mis in the UK hasn’t got a bit of a problem with race. It is slowly inching its way better – when the Bishop came out and he was black right at the beginning I had a moment of “finally? Are they finally doing this right?” but the diversity wasn’t quite as much as I’d hoped. Especially as in my head, I’ve developed a huge, very multi-racial dream cast for the show, so…yeah. I’d love to see some of the characters who always get played by white people played by folks of colour – Enjolras, for example, Grantaire, Valjean himself. Or have both Éponine and Cosette be not white? For once? This would be great? Please let me know what you all think?? (this is West-End specific, I know there have been some productions working on this elsewhere).

The general mood seemed a bit darker? More violent? Perhaps that was the updated lights and set, idk, but more fake blood abounded I felt, and yeah – more actual deliberate fight scenes. It worked, ngl, the world feels like it’s gotten to a darker place, and the new Les Mis reflects that in a way, doesn’t gloss over the violence. Again, I think more thinking will let me know what I actually think about this, but we’ll see.

ONTO SPECIFIC CHARACTERS & SCENES!

Valjean

·       Jon Robyns – he was brilliant, like, nearly as good as my holy grail (Killian Donnelly). Voice incredibly on-point – I’ve seen some Valjeans with really harsh voices which I don’t think fits the character – his Bring Him Home started so softly and gently and then really soared (until some twat decided to take a FLASH PHOTOGRAPH of him mid-song, whoever it was should have been ASHAMED of themselves).

·       He was so sweet with little Cosette! At the end of the curtain call, he and the actress had their own mini bow and then hugged, and he carried her off into the wings.

·       He really made more of Valjean’s physicality than other actors I’ve seen – perhaps to do with staging too – but his and Javert’s interactions were much more physical, violent, and in your face than they have been. It wasn’t OTT on his end I don’t think, but you definitely got the sense that he was trying to rein himself in and that the violence was still there? You know? But ofc NEVER towards Cosette or anyone unlike SOME adaptations I could mention (yes I am still bitter about the BBC trashfire, sorry to anyone who liked it but eh, imho, gross).

·       At the end, he and the Bishop have a hug in heaven! It was very sweet!

Javert

·       This is the second time I’ve seen Bradley Jaden in the role of Javert and I am a blessed human being (really want to take my Dad to see him too) because he has officially ruined every other Javert for me. Like ever. His characterisation feels very book Javert, very stern and uncompromising but more so than other Javerts, idk, it’s just his sheer stage presence as well, and his facial expressions and his general look…I can’t put my finger on it. He’s just phenomenal.

·       Stars was on this beautiful Parisian bridge (fake stone balustrade-style complete with four hanging lanterns) that came down from the flies, incredible backdrop, and he just brought the house down again.

·       Ngl – they have him actually holding a legit chain during the Confrontation and maybe I’ve read too much ship fic, but it certainly gives a whole new dimension to the line “Msieur le maire, you’ll wear a different chain!” Also especially as the Confrontation was so much more physical as well, they were properly fighting each other instead of just circling.

·       He was much more bloodied at the barricade, and there was this moment where he was being taken offstage as a prisoner and he’s on his knees in front of Enjolras, who’s very blonde hair is all you could see from where I was sitting, and they’re both in a spotlight, and the mood just really reminded me of the dynamic in the fic Les Hommes de la Misericorde by Kchan88 (which is great and you should read if you want to).

·       After the barricade, they incorporated that heartbreaking idea from the movie – Gavroche is lying dead in the front of the stage and Javert bends down to shut his eyes and crosses himself. There’s then a total reversal of the moment with Enjolras described above, but I’ll get to that in more detail in the Enjolras section.

·       In Javert’s Suicide, he did the complete breakdown thing again – which worked as he actually had blood on his face and long hair loose everywhere from the barricade scenes. Back on the pretty bridge, which split in two and he legit FLEW for the drowning scenes, so was thrashing suspended in midair as the lights and backdrop swirled around and behind him. That was something special.

Fantine

·       The one, the only, the Carrie Hope! She played a very understated Fantine? Which…I liked more than I thought I would? Like the voice came out at the end of I Dreamed a Dream, Lovely Ladies etc, but she was so…controlled? It perhaps felt odd after seeing her as Éponine and Veronica in Heathers where she let loose a lot more, but her Fantine just felt a little more mature, a little more resigned?

·       Her Fantine also gets put through the bloody wringer, jeez – the fight with the factory woman is much more physical (and when I say more physical, I actually think they were properly choreographed?) and with Bamabatois, who is just as grim but less slimy than the last actor I saw play him?

·       I’d kind of almost forgotten about her by the time she came out as a ghost at the end, but that bit was lovely, as it always is.

Éponine

·       Shan Ako was a scene stealer. Bloody hell she can sing – she put some pretty riffs in On My Own (small, but noticeable if you know the song) and her belting voice was unbelievable.

·       With the new set, you really get a feel of the Gorbeau tenement – she’s hanging around up there a bit. Also in Attack on the Rue Plumet, with the set the way it is (a house with a wrought iron balcony and a door, with the gate and fence extending out towards centre stage) you again get a feel for the scene in the book when Éponine basically says to her father and his gang that they’re dogs but she’s a wolf and she’s not afraid of them because she’s standing guarding the door with her arms wide…yeah, it really worked.

·       She and Gavroche are either friends or it’s a subtle nod to their siblinghood, as they fist bump right when Gav introduces Éponine.

·       On My Own was a tour de force – second standout of the night after Stars, for me.

·       Her A Little Fall of Rain was also gorgeous, and she had a real fizz with Marius, which was cute.

·       A rather large niggle – Shan Ako is black, and Young Éponine was white. Perhaps there was a last-minute emergency, but surely they could have got a little black actress to play Young Éponine? Idk, it just bothered me.

Cosette & Marius

·       Oh my god, Harry Apps as Marius – he Pontmercied around the place, and was so awkward and adorable! In Éponine’s errand, when he tried to go up the stairs, he banged into the set! During his bit in Red and Black he gets up on the staircase and starts full on declaiming, arms wide etc. His scene with Cosette in Heart Full of Love was gorgeous – he chucks a stone at her window, and she comes out, sees him, and disappears and he’s like “oh god I’m doing everything all wrong” and then she comes hurtling out of the front door instead and then stops and they stare at each other and it’s so cute! And then he’s just so self-conscious for the entire scene? And what’s so interesting is in the reprise at the end and the wedding, he’s so much more sure of himself – I really loved all the little nuances like that?

·       He’s also really young! He’s the complete unknown they cast off the open auditions for the UK tour, and he is bloody amazing – totally deserved that!

·       Lily Kerhoas was very charming as Cosette. I adore the character, but sometimes actresses play her too girly, which drives me a bit nuts, but she managed to pull off young/innocent/naïve/very soprano with a bit of practicality, heart, and edge. And there was a great moment when she and Éponine are both in the garden after, and getting that look in at each other without the gate in the way was really powerful.

·       Cosette and Marius had chemistry! It was lovely!

·       Empty Chairs – wow. So basically Turning (my underrated fave) was a range of women dressed in black who leave candles dotted all over the stage. Marius sings Empty Chairs surrounded by them, and (you guessed it) the dead Amis come in and all pick one up and Marius does too, and then they blow them out and leave and Marius is left holding the only lit one and blows it out then raises it like a toast and WOW MY FEELINGS WERE NOT PREPARED.

 Gavroche

·       This kid STOLE THE SHOW. LITERALLY. He was black too (like Éponine) and they had a proper little thing going, it felt like it really drew on the brother-sister Brick canon. He also felt very book-Gavroche, so cheeky and so serious at times.

·       They’ve changed his first set of lyrics in Look Down to be those from the movie, which…sure. Worked.

·       OKAY – in The Robbery, when Javert is like “everyone about your business/clear this garbage off the street” everyone scatters APART FROM GAV who’s pootling around behind Javert yelling “go on! You heard the man! Go away, even you!” and then when Javert turns to face him, Gav just does this irreverent little salute and saunters offstage and Javert just…lets him?? It was a FANTASTIC moment.

·       At the barricade when Gavroche busts Javert’s disguise, he goes right up to him and on “this only goes to show what little people can do” just cheerfully gives Javert a big old middle finger. Which was SO GREAT.

·       When Éponine is dying, he spends most of a little fall of rain loitering next to Marius and not really knowing what to do and my heart just BROKE.

·       He and Grantaire had a cute bromance going – after Drink With Me, when Grantaire nonverbally tells Enjolras to go fuck off and goes off to the side of the stage, Gavroche just goes over to him and starts hugging his back, and then they have a cuddle on the side of the stage together for Marius’ solo.

·       Because no turntable – Gav didn’t die alone on the other side of the barricade, he makes it just back to the top, gets shot with the bright white light (which they kept) and then just falls over into Enjolras’ arms, who then carries him down the barricade and puts him in Grantaire’s arms who just stands there, centre-stage, cradling a dead Gavroche for a few minutes before lying him down at the front of the stage.

·       At the end, Gavroche gets dumped unceremoniously into the cart with dead Enjolras and idk, it’s just a moment.

Enjolras

·       Right – instant disclaimer that I am incredibly biased and Hyoie O’Grady is and will forever be my Enjolras and I measure everyone against his performance.

·       This guy, Ashley Gilmour, – mostly had the look and the hair and general icy beauty. I was initially disappointed with his voice, but he did grow on me – he just really didn’t have the presence I associate with a great Enjolras. This was especially evident in the speech bits like in Red and Black?. Like, you know they’re not right for the role when you don’t particularly have much to write home about. Maybe I’m being unfair – other people who’ve seen him – what do you think?

·       The one bit of changed staging I didn’t like was Do You Hear the People Sing. I think Enjolras being towed around on the cart (which did come back during the beginning of the barricade) gives the song the momentum it needs & deserves? Whereas they were just marching round a staircase they’d shoved in the middle of the stage which Feuilly got up on for his verse, so…

·       Aside from a few handclasps, there was basically no E/R. Not even a hug during Drink With Me. It wasn’t even like “no homo” bullshit whatever, it just…didn’t happen. Actors didn’t have chemistry, and it’s a fair reading – this Enjolras read ace/too busy for romance quite strongly, I guess, and also very young, but yeah. After the joy that was Sam Edwards, even a bit more chemistry with Hyoie O’Grady (even though he said he didn’t really like that reading (I think??) which totally fair), and some actors I believe ACTUALLY KISSING OMG in other productions (one Enjolras also wore a Pride sash instead of a revolutionary one in Brazil, I think???) it really wasn’t anything. I would love a cast with an outwardly gay & together E/R, but I think the West End has a while to go before that becomes reality.

·       Enjolras’ death: obviously no turntable, end of that iconic spin to reveal him draped across the front of the barricade with his flag. In this version, he basically yeets himself off the front of the barricade very dramatically (there is no other word for it, I promise I’m not using “yeet” gratuitously) and then when Javert comes back after the fall of the barricade, there’s a soldier with the cart from the building of the barricade with a very dead Enjolras on his flag, arms akimbo out the end. Which worked. It was more quiet and understated, but it worked. No complaints from me.

·       At the curtain call he gave us a little hand heart, Taylor-Swift-circa-2010 style. It was cute and I should probably stop being a cow.

Les Amis

·       They’ll never cast them as diverse as they are in my head (I can only hope one day, perhaps, PLEASE!) but they were a good bunch. Their Feuilly looked more like a Jehan to me, but eh. Again, just no real…buzz. Not in the way I’ve seen them performed before? And I think Les Amis depends on a good Enjolras and a good Grantaire, because as the two main Amis in the musical, they set the tone?

·       When the soldiers’ final announcements were happening during the Dawn of Anguish, one of the boys (idk which, they were basically all blonde) was having a very obvious panic attack on the floor by the tables, and one of the others was comforting him and it was like that horrible powerful scene in the 2012 movie and I didn’t like it because it was heartbreaking but it was very effective.

·       They all seemed a bit less tolerant of Grantaire, who wasn’t even that disruptive by other actors standards, which I didn’t like?

·       Grantaire was, again, eh? Funny, fine, but didn’t have interesting things going for him (like Adam Filipe’s pacifism, for example, or any kind of chemistry with Enjolras) in the way others have done, but it was a solid performance.

The Thenardiers

·       Yes, they were great! Master of the House built to Thenardier being given the birthday bumps, which was funny.

·       Madame Thenardier’s solo in Master of the House was delivered in the kitchen all by herself as a bitter monologue, rather than the drunken rowdiness you used to get in the old show.

·       They were a pretty typical funny Thenardier couple, and I’m getting tired, I might remember some more about them tomorrow.

 So yeah. Those are my thoughts. Would love to hear what other people think, and I definitely want to go back and see it again, perhaps with a different cast (a different Enjolras, argh). I’m off to bed, I have class in ten hours. Oops.

[devintrinidad]

Haha, well I wasn’t intending to imply a yandere 1146. XP I was just plucking from canon and thinking he’s a very confident guy who is not afraid to get dirty. Even at the expense of other cell’s feelings. I guess driven to the point of tunnel vision might be a better way to describe it. This is the guy who never even thought about how hard the jobs of red blood cells could be (granted I bet that’s a common thing for most immune cells. I personally think they’re never encouraged to engage or think much about the cells they’re suppose to protect on a personal level) until he cared enough about 3803 to stalk her on her journey through her whole circulation. 

And he only cared enough about 3803 after a lot of persistence on her part. The first few times they met he was more then willing to walk and away and if they never saw each other again, eh what can you do (he obviously liked her and liked hanging out with her. But she wasn’t a huge priority on a personal level. I still kind of think it wasn’t until the 1st Cancer arc it hit him how much he liked her and she was here to stay, partly thanks to how much she kept showing how much she wanted/valued his friendship). 

He’s very open minded as far as the typical immune cell goes. But he still can be slow to change in dynamics or lifestyle choices. XP

1146 is always motivated by a selfless desire to defend others at his own expense. But you could read also him as very over the top stubborn, a spotlight stealer (he can’t help it he’s just that good) and highly insensitive to others when it conflicts with his current idea of what he thinks is right.

Remember, 4989 told 1146 (very sternly) that one can’t love others if they don’t love themselves first. 

Yeah I think 4989 has A lot of thoughts  about 1146’s less likeable side and 1146 just doesn’t care. 1146 likes who he is and probably doesn’t see a reason to change any part of himself. Normally that’s a good thing but it can be a pretty bad, self destructive thing too. It means 1146 might be unwilling to admit he’s wrong or see things from another’s perspective. He can see certain things feom, non immunes pov after he’s grown attached to them. But things like duty and doing what he has to do to get the results he wants. He does not compromise. Not even advice or lectures from immune cells who know and feel the exact same way he does make no impact on him when they show displeasure over his actions that nearly get him killed.

I’m thinking the growing focus on 4989’s reactions are a big indicator that there is something a little wrong here. In the sense 4989 is 1146’s best friend and it’s repeatedly shown this happy go lucky goofball can pull a 180 in attitude thanks to 1146. 4989 cares a lot about his comrades, but 1146 is the only one who makes him react displeased to even violent in temper towards 1146 after he’s down something, what 4989 might think, unnecessarily thoughtless. Which I can see. 1146 has proven as nice a guy and polite(?, well he is sarcastic) he is, he does have blind spots when it’s not his priority. Remember how insensitive he was to 3803’s discomfort when they first met. I’m guessing 1146 might think as long as he’s doing something to keep them safe, then anyone mad at him over his methods will get over it. It’s that oblivious side that rationalized things.

Probably helps the WBC squad and Eosinophil are like his siblings in a lot more ways compared to just friends or comrades or casual acquaintances. 3803 is in a lot of ways his only close friend outside his ‘family’ of friends (like I said, Killer T and NK seem to be just work friends. Normal cell is really only a acquaintance friend he might not even see anymore post Cancer part 2, except in passing maybe. It’s hard to tell with 1146. Despite growing a lot more friendly he might still be hard to really befriend in a close way). It’s why he might have such a huge soft spot for her. It seems to be implied, if not outright stated, one of the reasons he got so invested/emotional over Backwards Cap was because he saw he was just like 3803 (twice) - which is really cute when you see how 1146 imagines 3803. Super adorable and blushy smiling with the happiness and most innocent expression on her face. 1146 is so soft towards her. X3 

But yeah it could be 1146’s attitude (and it’s possibly the attitude that’s more annoying then the actions?) is that he can take others for granted. He grew up in a ruthless environment, probably expecting he and his friends could die any time. His closest friends are pretty unconditional to him. Even if he bugs them they grumble and have a outburst at most but then get over it. Kind of like family. He expects that so it might make him oblivious to how he can affect others negatively. Ecspecially when everything in his pov works out just fine in the end. If someone else like Killer T literally lashes out at him for thinking or doing something different, 1146 at most will react in surprise or confusion but get over it really fast (Killer T’s opinion ultimately has very little to no affect on 1146 on a personal level). I think 3803 is where the difference might lie. She’s fully accepting of him where other non immune cells wouldn’t be. She’s not meant told suited for the ruthless life he leads. She’s innocent and happy in ways he’ll never be. He wants to preserve that for both their sakes. Which means he’s willing to do a lot for her.

Take for example how he reacts to both Eosinophil and 3803 getting their feelings hurt.

With Eosinophil he obviously takes note of the crowd calling her useless, despite her best efforts, and he tries to correct them stating good facts about Esoniophil functions. He stays pretty calm and doesn’t get act too upset (even if he doesn’t like it), choosing to stop trying to defend her when Eosinophil tells him to. 

In contrast with 3803 during the circulation run, 1146 reacts very upset when other cells get impatient and upset at her mistakes. When she goes the wrong way and gets yelled at for it. 1146 can’t even stand to watch the scene. He closes his eyes and shakes like he’s in pain. Later he quickly yells at Killer T and commands him to not say anything at all bad about 3803. That’s a pretty big difference when you compare his other reaction over a friend he’s known his whole life and probably thinks of like a sister. Clearly at that point 3803 being hurt (emotionally or physically) or being thought poorly of by anyone is something unbearable for 1146.

It’s why I think if anyone’s anger/hurt over his actions can affect him. It would be 3803. I think it would just hit him differently because there’s a part of him that would realize he hurt her and took her feelings for granted. That in itself might make he look back and reconsider some of his own actions. I don’t see 3803 ever getting angry at 1146 over his reckless actions like 4989 would. She respects and trusts him so much and she believes whatever he does as a WBC he does because he believes it’s for the best (they’re not going to tell each other how to do each other’s jobs). 

However, in your Abnormalities verse. There is relationship drama going on. 1146 is a major player here with deep connections to both 3803 and NC. I do believe that ruthlessness ingrained in all immune cells can translate pretty easily to other areas of their lives. Without even considering how 3803 could feel, I could imagine 1146 doing whatever he saw was nessecary to have NC coexist with everyone in the body and keep 3803 happy and innocent (mixing duty with personal). He might not even initially wonder if being dishonest would hurt his relationship with 3803 in anyway. She’d forgive him if he was acting under orders. But if he did things just to keep her in the dark that eventually came to vote her, eh I think she’d be very quiet. Shocked. Cry and ask to be left alone. That would probably shock him with the revelation he messed up their friendship. Because the one thing 3803 has done since the very beginning is trust him 100%. But if sonething happened and she couldn’t do that. That would be a big ouch for the both of them. 1146 would gate himself that, out of habit and assumption, he hurt her and didn’t communicate better.

But you’ve made me think of 1146 and NC being confidante or angst buddies whenever 3803 gets upset with them both.

NC: (eating a ton of glucose pops) she mad at you too?

1146: (eating a ton of germ snacks and trying to eat his depression away and can’t talk right now)

NC: I hear you man. 

Elsewhere -

Eosinophil: Sorry 1146 can be a dummy. -_-;

4989: No…. He’s the world’s biggest idiot and I’ll punch him later for you.

3803 (cries into her mountains of glucose cones and pastries). 

~~~

You asked in another post about why I think 1146 is a yandere, so I’ll be posting your concerns about yandere!1146 in that one. I’ll post this separately so people can see your analysis about how 4989 is worried about 1146, how a yandere 1146 might operate, and his overall reactions towards 3803 over the course of the series. 

Thanks for your submission and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

[curejunereblogs]

An Extensive List of Phantom Thieves (怪盗)

but first the criteria:

The boundaries for what makes a thief a phantom and whether it's different from a gentleman thief are wobbly

We can't really just allow everyone who calls themselves "kaitou" to qualify, because there's Kaitou Sai from Nogami Neiro who is a serial killer which is A Very Bad Thing. most good examples of thieves have a "no kill" rule

If we set that they have to steal for Good Reasons, we cut off Kaitou Joker, who is very much a phantom thief, so we have to allow "thrill of the chase" as a valid-ish reason for stealing. no bonus points though, it just not instant disqualification

I found that "sends a calling card" is a good rule to stick to so I trimmed my original surprisingly long list based on whether I know for sure they send announcements or cards or letters or such. If you don't say "come and get me" to your target, you're pragmatic, a realist and also a coward

Which led me to a conclusion that to be a proper phantom thief, the main thing you should be after is the spotlight. You have to steal the show. Otherwise you're just a thief, maybe a gentleman, but not a phantom. Contrary to the name, you have to be seen. Good phantom thieves have a give-and-take relationship with their audience - they take the treasure, and give back a performance or some other form of entertainment (or purpose in life in some cases).

The following compilation doesn't include: books, hentai, eroge, BL, things where i couldn't translate the title into English, the ones that don't send calling cards(as far as i know) and in general a bunch of media i most definitely missed

Phantom Thief Hall of Fame:

- Kaito Kid(1987), Kaitou Saint Tail(1994) and Kaitou Joker(2007) are all brilliant examples of the genre, and if you don't know any of them, they all have a bunch of passionate fans each and they can all be googled really easily

- Joker and his gang from Persona 5(2017); i'm consiously placing him in the second/fourth place because even though he's really cool, very popular and is The phantom thief to a lot of people unfamiliar with the genre... he doesn't have a tophat (his persona is not enough)

- ... I'll just mention that Lupin the 3rd(1967) exists and go on

- and of course, Lupin III and about a quarter of all phantom thieves are in some way based on Arsène Lupin(1905) by Maurice Leblanc

- ex. there was a french-canadian cartoon about Lupin called Night Hood(1996)

- Cat's Eye(1981), cited as an inspiration for Saint Tail, is about a trio of sisters who steal stuff in order to get closer to their dad and it's epic

- Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne(1997), like Saint Tail, doubles as a magical girl series and is about magical stealing and the clothing is eastern and the manga swerves into weird territory in the end but it features one of the precious few phantom thief & phantom thief romances

- King of Bandits Jing(1995), while doesn't have the aesthetic, has the weirdness, the charm, the calling card (i think) and is generally cool enough to steal his place on the list whether he’s a phantom or not

- The Acrobat/Man of Twenty Faces(1990), also known as Akira Ijyuin; charming child somehow without most of the problems the CLAMP protagonists tend to suffer from

- Phantom R the titular Rhythm Thief(2012), a great example of a dancer show-off, has a dog

- The Black Rose from Ashita no Nadja(2003) is a tuxedo mask-esque character

- Kaitou Kiramekiman(2000) is a cool retrofuturistic-looking duo trying to save the world in a show that is tragically more about their police counterparts Doing Absolutely Nothing because the villains tend to be more popular in that franchise

- Pacricon(1999) takes place in a world where money has been cancelled(?), has a hella cool calling card

- Shadow Lady(1995)... well, there's a lot of fanservice - like, a lot, and it's tiring and i warned you - but there's also some genuinely funny twists like cancelling her heist on live tv just because she didn't feel like doing it. it also got very unceremoniously axed

- Kaitou Alexandrite(2006) owns/co-owns/frequents a bordel so there's some nsfw to be seen on occasion but it's tolerable and could be described as tasteful i guess. she stole someone's voice once. it also features one of the best identity reveals

- Chat Noir from Granblue Fantasy(2014) is a fighting unit; he has a "calling card" skill and i think that's beautiful

- Phantom Skye from Harvest Moon DS Cute(2005), a not-very-secret character, is an absolute cheese but it loops right back into being charming

- Kaito Rousseau(2006) for Nintendo DS, where a tiny thief boy is horrible at going unnoticed unless he disguises his face as whatever you draw on your ds screen

- Mask DeMasque from Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations(2004) is a thing?

- Sly Cooper(2002) is known as Kaitou Sly Cooper in Japan so he fits the bill

- PxP(2006), short manga about a girl thief in high school

- Sweet Kaitou Vanilla Moon(2010), pastry-themed phantom thief? hell yeah!

- Kaitou Reinya(2010), a short comedy that is not to be taken seriously but you might get a few chuckles from it and i don't regret giving it a second chance (warning: cartoonish animal abuse)

- Cat's Eye(s)(2010), a remake of the original tale of three sisters with different PoVs

- Kaitou Jack from Nishikida Keibu wa Dorobou ga Osuki(2013); it's a gag manga about a cute phantom thief boy and an old man detective that acts like a schoolgirl around that boy. ... I'm only mentioning it here because I like Jack's costume and "i'm-SO-done-with-this" faces and it's mostly intended to be funny. mostly.

- Kaitou Okami-Zoku Shonen(2013), a oneshot about a werewolf who eats people's hearts (metaphorically! through kisses) but is really stylish about it. Think P5 protagonist but alone and a werewolf

- Phantom Thief F's Scenario(2013) is a vocaloid song about a diamond heist on a luxury liner

- Kaitou Le Vin(2014) is about six people stealing wines and it's epic but they can't shut up about wine for one second

- Gaitou Alice(2015) is about a guy looking like Kaito Kuroba going into people's hearts to steal stuff before P5 made it cool. Features amazing artwork but kinda gross stuff closer to the end so it's kind of understandable why it got axed but it has a kind of weird charm to it

- Mystic Thief X from a mobile dating game Miss Detective's Undercover(2017) (i'm scraping for phantom thief content) is honestly excellent at his job. he might only be showing off for one person but damn it's romantic af and i love him

- Kaitou Shounen Jokers(2017) is a sequel to Kaitou Joker, and is directly about the previous protag's kid going to a phantom thief school (i have no hard evidence he sends calling cards but if he doesn’t take after dad i’m-)

- Kaitou Saint Tail girls!(2018), a sequel to Saint Tail, is very cute and has two new Saint Tails working together! i wish i knew more about it

- Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger(2018), live-action series that is a must-watch for anyone who loves phantom thieves because it's a masterpiece of a tv show; besides the three thieves it also features the best police officers in the genre (it kind of has to since they're protagonists too but boy does it deliver)

- Secret x Warrior Phantomirage(2019) is also a live action and it's all about girls stealing enchanted hearts! i actually don't know if they send cards but it feels right placing them after lupinrangers and they're definitely show-stealers

- Kilroy(2018) is a western comic about a guy who broke an unconventional mirror and has to do unconventional repairs

- Kaitou Kamaitachi(2018) has a cute reporter boy and a lot of butterflies

- Destined Memories(2019) is another mobile dating game, there are thieves (called the Crows) in victorian england and they send notices and it's way better at being a phantom thief story than an actual phantom thief story by this company that i'll maybe mention later if i get to compiling a list of thieves that don't send cards

- I really want to put Majo Kaitou Lip☆s(2019) in this category, I want her to send calling cards, but there's like two chapters out so there's still time. The artwork for this series is GORGEOUS and the idol imagery is amazing and i love it so much I just want her to be popular

i might've ignored some phantoms you may have heard about, but 50% i've checked and they don't send calling cards. If they do, additions are welcome!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i would love to hear a s3 rant tbh

i started writing this a few months after s3 came out, because i needed that long to sort of soak up all the feelings and changes that came along with it. now i’m used to it enough that i don’t find myself thinking too hard about s3 when i get to it in rewatches–it’s a shift, but one i’m adjusted to. and now it’s premiere day for s4! so i’m finally done writing the rest of it. 

it is a shift, though, and i think that’s why so many of us in the fandom had mixed feelings about it–we still loved it, but we didn’t come away from s3 with the same lingering mood that we did after s2. for me, s3 was the first season that ended on a truly happy note. there was no heartbroken elena at her quinces, there was no distraught family hoping lydia would wake up.

s3 left pretty much all the characters in a good, hopeful place, so why did we find ourselves more inclined to pick it apart? why did it feel different, when all the individual character arcs and plot points were in the same world we love, and clearly handled with the same amount of effort and care as we expect?

the following giant analysis is my attempt to articulate an answer to that, as a fan who has watched the whole show….so many times. so many times, guys. just so much. i don’t even have a number anymore.

to give you an idea of what you’re in for, here’s the categories you’ll find behind the cut:

each season’s focus was different

brothers and other strangers

dr. b’s inclusion minimizing other relationships

schneider being more isolated from the family

schneider’s sobriety

schneider & avery

avery + other characters

penelope & mateo

misc other gripes

feel free to reply to this and/or send me asks, i spent way too long on it. :)

each season’s focus was different:

obviously, odaat is an ensemble show. every character gets moments of their own, and most have larger arcs. but because the show needs a focus, each season arguably belongs more to some of the characters than others.

the stars of s1 are penelope and elena.

penelope is our anchor to the family and the story, the one that everything else orbits around. we’re watching her live through the end of her marriage and become more settled in her new role as the primary parent to her kids. elena is figuring out who she is, then dealing with the fallout from sharing her truth with the people who matter to her. her quinces is the topic of debate in 1.01 and closes out the season in 1.13.

lydia steals scenes a lot, but she doesn’t really have a larger arc in s1. at the end of the season, she’s the same person she was at the beginning, just changed by her involvement in elena and penelope’s stories. same goes for alex–he has stories, but they’re a lot smaller and more contained. and schneider and leslie are only involved in the season because of their friendships with lydia and penelope, then in schneider’s case, his dynamic with alex later on.

the stars of s2 are penelope and lydia.

penelope goes back to school, has her first serious relationship post-divorce, and finally deals more seriously with her mental health struggles. lydia decides to become a u.s. citizen, struggles with her feelings toward leslie, and ends the season triumphant after a major health scare.

elena plays a major role in s2, but a lot of her story is a continuation from s1, with the return of victor and her first romantic relationship, and developments like her new job as a handyma’am are awesome but not the central focus of the season. alex gets to be the star of a few episodes, more than in s1, but they’re not really tied in to an overarching arc. his first job, his anti-immigrant bullying, and his time at the movies with penelope are all standalone plots.

schneider has a larger, more serious role in s2, going from ‘you guys are like family’ during quinces in s1 to ‘now, you’re my family’ to lydia in not yet. but he’s still on the outside, looking in. and leslie’s role remains one that supports penelope at work and lydia in friendship, rather than giving him his own plot.

the stars of s3 are alex and schneider.

in s3, penelope’s story is more settled, because so is she. her job is secure, her schoolwork is coming to a close, and her kids are growing up. she has a romance, but mateo is less important to her than max was, and the plot reflects that, with mateo barely around until penelope’s neglect of him becomes part of the joke. pen’s reacting to what’s going on around her more, whether that’s alex’s drug use or elena’s anxiety and secret hotel room or schneider’s sobriety.

that’s not a bad thing! justina kills it in every episode, penelope’s still funny and a tearjerker and strong as hell while flawed…but s3 is the first season that doesn’t completely revolve around her, storywise.

elena’s story is also more settled, on some levels. victor’s return gives her a much-deserved coda, evidence that her life couldn’t be neatly tied up in a bow after a year and that emotional scars do real damage. but even that plot, like her first time with syd and her driving lessons, are part of larger episodes involving other stories rather than the main focus of all of them. victor’s wedding, the finale episode, tries to move forward five of our six main characters, compared to elena’s quinces, which was almost exclusively her show.

lydia’s s3 plot includes her fabulous bouquet list, ideas about aging and motherhood and family. but she’s back to being a scene-stealer–even her bouquet list exists as a subplot in other people’s episodes.

having focused the most on the alvarez women in s1 and s2, the show finally gives alex more room to shine in s3, a development that surprised me but pleasantly so because it turns out that the more they give him to do, the better marcel is at it. s3 shows us an alex growing up, making dumb choices and learning from them, but also being there for his family in bigger and more mature ways, schneider included.

and schneider…gosh. schneider’s arc in s3 is so important that it’s the one they foreshadowed ominously before the season was even on netflix:

he did step into the spotlight as promised, and by the end of the season, he was a full-fledged canon member of the family. not that we needed them to tell us that, even if schneider did. :)

to start with, though, that’s part of why s3 feels different: because it is. the focus widens to different characters, and the ones we’re used to following more closely have more contained arcs.

brothers and other strangers

s3 also decided to introduce new family members. a LOT of new family members. and while they all added to the story, some fit in better than others. the funeral did this well, finally giving lydia’s estranged sister a face to go with the name, and giving us more of a glimpse at the big family penelope grew up around before the military and parenting narrowed her everyday focus.

but the show’s decision to anchor an episode on brothers gave us what felt like a lot of consistency issues. they explained pen’s sudden s3 brother, tito, by making his absence during lydia’s coma a topic of discussion. they couldn’t actually include a never before mentioned sibling for penelope without creating bigger confusion, though. it just wasn’t possible.

tito is apparently the older brother that lydia idolizes, but until 3.04 she’s never mentioned him in conversation once? when she’s in a coma reflecting on her family and how they’ll go on without her, her beloved son isn’t worth a mention? i can forgive the show for deciding to give pen a brother three years in, but i can’t pretend it wasn’t jarring when odaat treated her like an only child before that.

and this is a much smaller issue, but also in s3 suddenly syd has a younger brother? who is homeschooled too? when they were telling elena their only classmate was their chinchilla the year before? like i said, a relatively small thing but it still bugs me because it’s so random.

schneider now has sibling(s) too, apparently, but his comment about not being his father’s favorite child was the first time that came up, in three years of him talking about his parents and household staff and childhood stressors. i have so many questions. hopefully future seasons will clarify some things.

anyway, hermanos was a deeply confusing episode for me because tito came out of nowhere and schneider’s conversation with leslie, while lovely, was the first time we heard schneider (or anyone actually) label his relationship with penelope a sibling-ish one. it was clear during lydia’s coma that he considered lydia a friend who was also somewhat a maternal figure in his life, but it wasn’t until s3 that the show extended that dynamic, from ‘lydia is like his mom’ to ‘therefore he and pen are both her kids.’

i’ll get into this later, but i honestly think that was meant more to tie into the episode’s theme than because it was supposed to shift his friendship with penelope into new territory. we’re watching penelope deal with tito, and elena deal with alex, and schneider makes the one comment during an important scene with leslie. it’s still jarring though.

the very fact that schneider wasn’t with the family during their vacation felt like an inconsistency to a lot of us, whose two-seasons-worth of headcanons about schneider make ‘he secretly books the room next to theirs and crashes their vacation’ more believable than him staying home alone.

it was done in service to the season’s goals of adding tito to the mix and folding leslie in more, and both goals were accomplished…it just felt a little strange.

dr b’s greater inclusion minimizing other relationships

speaking of leslie, s3 for him was what s2 gave schneider–more ties to more characters, and the first real subplots we’ve seen him have about serious subjects. for good or bad, a lot of what stood out to me in s3 as different was related to the show making more room for leslie.

schneider not being with the alvarezes on their vacation, even though he’s at every family event including funerals now? penelope made it happen by ‘entrusting’ schneider with the care of her house(plant), but really it played out that way so we could see schneider and leslie bond.

elena’s driving lessons being handled by leslie? it’s fair enough that penelope isn’t the one doing it, since she’s busy and it stresses her out, but if you want me to believe that schneider wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity, even with avery in his life now, you’re crazy. there’s no believable canon reason in s1 or s2 why leslie would be the one doing that, but it played out that way so we could see elena and leslie bond.

even alex gets to know leslie better because he’s more involved with elena, meaning that after s3 leslie finally has connections to the whole family (which schneider accomplished in s2 once he was mentoring elena in building repairs).

by the season finale, leslie is attending victor’s wedding, mistakenly butting in on elena’s time with her dad, and finally traveling to cuba with lydia while he shares his practice with penelope.

however you feel about s3 in general, the show had to change its usual dynamic in order to include leslie more in situations like driving lessons and weddings. it just wouldn’t have worked otherwise. for example, the funeral at the beginning of s3 doesn’t involve him at all, because why would it? unlike schneider, he hasn’t spent a ton of time bonding with the extended alvarez family prior to s3. he’s involved in big moments because he’s close to lydia or penelope.

s3 is the first time we really see him get involved in the story just on his own merits. and that required less schneider in family moments, which paired nicely with the season’s other visible difference.

schneider being more isolated from the family

the schneider we know and love from s2 would have offered to take over elena’s driving lessons as soon as he realized they were stressing pen out. he would have found an excuse to join them on vacation, and he would have been present when penelope realized elena was sneaking off to a hotel room with syd.

schneider prior to s3 was always around that way, witnessing threesome porn on alex’s laptop and picking up strangers at the airport for the quinces, making it easier for penelope to go to him when she needed advice or a hug. in s1, she may have started out getting his help as a last resort, but by late s2, she was often turning to him instead of her own family, or her support group. pen was reluctantly aware of his many hookups because she was at his apartment so much.

once avery’s in the picture, though, we see less of schneider in the family orbit, and it’s really not explained. penelope pulls him (literally) into alex’s drug storyline, but after that he’s mainly in other people’s storylines, like lydia wanting to teach penelope to cook, or alex spending too much on shoes.

even in anxiety, schneider’s status as penelope’s most trusted person is one scene in an episode that shows how she interacts with everyone in her life, rather than the climax of it–the way his time with her is in hello penelope.

beyond individual episodes, it’s the relationships that matter, and we just see a lot less of that with schneider and the family in s3. in s1 we saw him bonding with alex all the time, and in s2 schneider became more important to elena. but in s3…where is he?

alex goes to his apartment because penelope ordered him to, to get a lecture about reckless spending, and that’s the only one-on-one time we see them have before the laundry room in drinking and driving. are they still close? i’m assuming they are, because alex clearly still cares about him and vice versa, but whether it’s because alex is growing up or because schneider’s busier with his first real girlfriend, they’ve stopped hanging out.

i feel the same way about schneider and elena. her support of him when he relapses (how amazing is it that elena is the first alvarez to use the word ‘love’ with schneider, when he’s been closer to lydia and penelope longer? i adore one gay cuban teenager) makes it clear that he’s still important to her, but even her building maintenance seems to be done alone now. the only solo conversations they even have are at the funeral, in the very beginning of the season.

and while schneider and penelope remain friends in s3, the nature of their friendship has changed in a lot of ways. she’s at his apartment less, he’s at hers mostly when the whole family is around, and until his father’s visit they’re less close physically along with everything else.

schneider’s absence in big moments like elena learning to drive or smaller ones like a rare family vacation can be explained as storytelling choices, but they also make it easier to understand how he started drinking again, and how it was possible for him to keep it hidden (along with his avery breakup) before victor noticed.

when penelope went off her meds, schneider was the first person to confront her about her unusual behavior, but penelope doesn’t see the change in him until she’s looking for it. some of that is the show arguing that alcoholics are really good at covering their secrets up, but it also only works because though schneider is making appearances at meals and still involved with family, he’s around a lot less than he used to be.

schneider’s sobriety

deciding to dive into schneider’s sobriety was the defining choice of s3, in my opinion, that made it feel so different. if i had to pick just one, that would be it, because so much else spiderwebs out from it. 

finally seeing more of the world schneider comes from, in the arrival of his father? a major relapse trigger for him.

penelope telling him that choosing his father over his tenants means he’s not part of their family? seemingly the last thing she said to him before he drank.

his inclusion in the alvarez family museum? a way to show how his sobriety is the most impressive work he’s done in his whole life. 

penelope (and the rest of the family, but especially penelope, once they’re alone) doing whatever they can to support him and convince him to keep fighting? the clearest sign we’ve had in three season of how important schneider really is to them.

it’s an amazing story arc for him, and as much as it hurts to watch, i love it. 

but boy does it make season three a change from the first two.

after first setting up how proud of him dr b. and lydia are (the closest thing he has to loving parents) for his years of sobriety, we then see him tempted to drink thanks to his father’s actions and just general presence. 

but because of how the show handles the reveal, we actually don’t know for sure that he’s drinking again until penelope and lydia confirm it. we can be rightly suspicious–i saw that the dangling tag was no longer on the bottle when he placed it on his coffee table, and assumed then that he’d already opened it–but we can’t know.

which means that for the first time, just like penelope, we don’t know if we can trust schneider. schneider! who has wanted nothing more than to earn and keep the family’s trust this whole time. 

it’s so unsettling. as is his visible unraveling once he realizes he’s been caught. 

and the thing is, that we’ve seen this before, just like penelope has lived it before–the worst of her fights and fear with victor happened offscreen, but when he comes back we see him lie to her, try to convince her he can handle his own problems and she should leave it alone. 

but that…that was season one. that was victor, who moved in and out of the picture often in really hurtful ways, and who we weren’t encouraged to get attached to. 

schneider is lovable, and loving, and present. and yet in season three, he also becomes a version of himself who is reactive, and dishonest, and will do whatever it takes to avoid being confronted about his relapse. including trying to hurt and push away the people he loves most.

i think part of why his relapse is so effective as an arc is because it’s as hard for the viewers to expect such a sharp turn from the sweet, laid-back guy we met in s1 as it is for penelope and her family. but that’s also why s3 leaves us shaken.

schneider & avery

oh gosh, schneider and avery. i’ve talked about them a lot before, so i’ll just say here that they brought her in with great potential, then let her stay so far on the sidelines of the show after the valentine’s day episode that it became impossible to know who she was anymore, what role she played in his life, and what their future could possibly look like now that they were reunited at the wedding. 

is she the gorgeous nerdy artist who has just enough in common with him to be a good fit long-term? is she rich and more suited to the world he comes from? is she uninterested in his life outside of what they do for fun together, so that she’ll never get to know his chosen family at all?

it seemed to change each time we saw her, and by the end of her involvement in schneider’s s3 storyline, we didn’t even know what had broken them up before we were supposed to be rooting for them to get back together. 

my theory continues to be that the people making the show were blinded by the impossible cuteness of real life marrieds todd and india, and forgot to make sure their plot threads on the show made sense. 

because avery was never going to get a ton of screen time, she was a minor character–but revolving any part of his story around her kind of gave the show a duty to at least give us a clue of what the heck was going on.

avery + other characters

my other major complaint about avery (who i genuinely adored, at least for her first couple of episodes! my liveblog of her existence in s3 is just a lot of flailing about her being so freaking cute) is that the show keeps her in a totally unprecedented bubble.

penelope’s love interests? always interact with her family. whether it’s ben getting a text from lydia, because he wasn’t around long enough for more, mateo joining an unexpected party, or max spending whatever time he could at her house…we always got to know how her guys related to her family, and that helped us understand them and the relationships better. 

syd of course spends a ton of time around elena’s family, and we’re going to see alex’s girlfriend meet the family this season. you could argue that those comparisons are different because schneider’s not one of them, his storylines are less central than say, penelope’s are–and that’s true. but even dr. b’s girlfriend got a long bathroom scene with lydia and we see/know much less about leslie than we do schneider. 

mostly though, this bugs me because avery clearly spends time in their home! she’s there for valentine’s day, and penelope also tells schneider to invite her during ‘the man.’ and she works at the kids’ school, so she’s in their orbit on another level. penelope is able to get in touch with her and find out they broke up.

and yet, the first real love interest for schneider that could be a healthy and serious relationship…and onscreen, lydia never meets her. doesn’t try to figure out if she’s good enough for the adopted son lydia has been encouraging to find love for three years. they never interact. 

elena, who developed a serious interest in alex’s love life and a taste for gossip in season one, appears to have no interest in the woman schneider’s seeing. alex, i could understand not caring, because he’s generally happier caring about what directly affects him and what he can do to help others…if schneider’s happy, i get why he might stay out of it. 

but it just sort of grates on me that none of the women in schneider’s family have a conversation with avery onscreen, beyond the moment when penelope is trying to kick her and schneider out and she pushes back. if avery is in a scene, she’s talking to and focused on schneider, or nikki, or schneider’s father. none of the family. is that because she doesn’t feel like she has to make an effort to know them? or because the show just wasn’t thinking about that? even though we see it with every other love interest brought into the house?

i mean, when you pay attention to that, then of course we don’t have a clear sense of who she is! how can we when there’s no reason to believe that anyone who cares about schneider does either? 

penelope & mateo

penelope’s relationship with mateo puzzles me almost as much as schneider and avery–and in some ways, even more. we see their friendship first, we watch them deny interest in more than that with each other. then penelope pushes the issue and they do decide to date, but just like with avery, the show doesn’t have a lot of screentime to offer him. 

so what we know about her new boyfriend is that they have some things in common that she really values but maybe too much in common to avoid fighting about it–and then we barely see him again, learning mainly through his absence that she’s just not that into him, until eventually they break up because it turns out he was more into his ex than her anyway.

there’s a karmic sort of humor in that for penelope, but for me it left mateo feeling like a waste of a love interest. we really didn’t get to enjoy their relationship much, especially if they wanted us to miss it when it was gone…so was it worth the time they spent setting it up in the first place? 

for me the answer to that was no. especially since as her ‘longtime’ school volunteer buddy, we’d never seen him before. and i feel like it’s not likely we’ll see him again.

penelope & schneider

this is a frustrating one for me because while i have complaints about these two and their relationship in s3 it was also AMAZING and i LOVED it. both are true.

the confusing part is that their dynamic is inconsistent in s3. think some of that is because the show is trying to do so much at once. fully bring schneider into the family, focus their romantic lives on other people, deepen their bond, deny the possibility of a romance between them, keep them each other’s person.

in s1 they’re landlord and tenant but also becoming real friends. in s2 they’re best friends and he’s a honorary part of the family now (though still an outsider). 

but in s3 he’s established clearly as her best friend and most trusted person, a guy who’s become deeply important to her and her whole family–so much so that after his relapse, they come together to support him much like they all did lydia in s2. 

but penelope treats him dramatically differently from moment to moment and episode to episode in s3. like an annoying brother when he’s getting cooking lessons from her mom, like a life partner when alex’s behavior has her angry and scared, like a bff when she’s considering dating mateo, and even a little like a flirting companion at the wedding.

it’s not completely unprecedented for their dynamic to have multiple layers. his relationship with lydia is complicated too. in past seasons, he flirted with both penelope and her mom–while they also laughed at victor calling them a couple and he told comatose lydia how important her mothering was to him. 

but they lean harder into it during lydia’s cooking lessons, while still hitting the beats hard of ‘are you sure you’re not dating?’ during penelope’s support group and schneider’s dad’s visit. the contrasting takes on their friendship is just a lot of whiplash in a single season.

another thing about s3 that’s different is the kinds of physical contact between penelope and schneider. you might not notice unless you’re looking for it, but penelope actually touches schneider more than he does her. lightly, casually, briefly. she makes contact in a friendly, familiar way all the time. schneider is more likely to touch her when it’s important, in big moments, as though he knows that she trusts him and welcomes him in her space but he doesn’t want to abuse the privilege.

i studied it for making gifsets, and she touches him more every season. and while he touches her a lot more in s2 than in s1, s3 is actually about the same amount. penelope grew visibly closer to him this season, but he held himself back from getting any more familiar. he was also the only one of the two of them who compared her to blood family. for now,it’s really up to interpretation if there’s a deeper reasoning behind that.

for both of them, though, more than half of the physical contact they make in s3 happens in just two episodes, both towards the end of the season. not only does schneider’s father’s visit and his relapse bring them closer together, literally and physically, but the season up until that point has them further apart. 

they spend time together stalking alex, or with schneider talking her down from her panic, but the casual dinners are less, and she’s going to him less for advice–which means there are less small touches, less moments where schneider sits her down on his couch or she nudges him affectionately. 

that makes it all the more intense when they do connect, with penelope holding his hand and them hugging twice all within the same few minutes. and then after his relapse, their conversation alone in the apartment is so tense and so much more separate than they usually are.

the last time she touched him was in the man, the most open and complimentary she’s ever been, and look what happened. this isn’t the man she knows and loves, she needs to reach her best friend who’s still in there somewhere under all the pain and self-loathing, but she tries to do so with honesty first, with bluntness, with tough love, with listening kindly but not without pushing back, and finally with his place in her family–as a role model for the kids. 

only once he’s agreeing with her about the course of action and just doubting his ability to survive it does she reach out. once he’s himself again. and then she’s more there for him physically than she ever has been before. this is a new level of intimacy between them, schneider letting her in rather than excusing himself during tough times, her giving rather than just taking support, her being his silent rock the way he always is hers.

it’s just different than the previous seasons, between them. the problem is that while you’re watching it, it’s hard to pin down what message about their relationship the show is trying to send, since they touch less but more deliberately, and they’re family but not in a way that has well-defined boundaries.

misc other gripes

elena’s world shrinking

as of s3, what exactly is elena’s life outside of syd and anxiety? don’t get me wrong, i love her relationship with syd, and the anxiety plot was good–driving lessons too, which were tied to the anxiety somewhat. 

but if we’re pulling back to look at the bigger picture, elena in season one was a lonely club leader, figuring out her identity, and navigating disagreements with her family. 

elena in season two was experiencing her first relationship, finding her first group of geeky friends to hang out with irl, confronting the fallout of victor’s behavior in s1, and continuing her academic hard work while also adding lots of political engagement.

in comparison, elena in season three exchanges ‘i love yous’ and has sex for the first time, as well as makes up with syd after their first fight. she learns she has anxiety and gets her driver’s license and continues to heal her relationship with victor, but…she has no friends anymore? no mention of josh or carmen or any of the echo park gamers? and she’s studying for testing, it seemed like, but she’s not in clubs anymore or volunteering or protesting? her whole world outside her family isn’t really syd, is it?? because i know first love is amazing, but that’s not healthy.

i said up there that less of the story belongs to elena after s1, and this is a large part of why i feel that way. the show treats her like some of her bigger arcs are settling down, rather than expanding, giving her subplots instead and making room for the other characters. it’s weird to watch though when just a quick comment here and there would have implied that she still spends time with friends or fellow social justice warriors.

lydia’s humor goes dark

when it comes to lydia, season one includes some jokes about her ending up in a home–or to be more specific, the fact that she never will. her comedy in season two revolves a lot around her identity, with her decision to become a citizen. 

and then, we go into season three after her coma. though she appears to be in good health, the family is still worried, and elena especially tries to protect her from herself.

whether it’s specifically related to her near-death experience or not, season three involves way more death jokes. things like lydia looking up, and inviting god to reunite her with her husband ‘berto, i am ready,’ she says, then sort of shrugs when death doesn’t arrive. 

it’s not unfunny…but it’s a different kind of humor. i can’t say i enjoyed the edge to it, probably because i was elena’s age when my grandmother died, and she was also a deeply religious woman who was awaiting her invitation to heaven. 

alex also has no friends anymore? does he still play baseball?

the way that s3 gives alex so much more to do, storywise, is awesome. but just like elena, his world seems to have gotten smaller in terms of socializing. we hear about his girlfriend but don’t meet her, and we never see him interact with friends, either–besides things like instagram. 

this one’s really a minor complaint because he has whole important storylines in s3 and at least the show does imply he still has friends…but it’s a little odd for the most popular alvarez teen to spend more time chatting with dr. berkowitz than any friends his own age. especially when he used to be so involved in baseball that we at least saw his teammates. 

it’s not clear to me if season three just didn’t overlap with sports season for him this time around, or if he gave baseball up–but if it were the latter, you’d think they would mention that.

scott came back but not lori

i honestly don’t know which of the show’s casting choices are influenced by availability and which are choices they make for plots they want–other than carmen leaving, because i know ariela went to another show.

but while lori hasn’t been around since season one, scott went missing after the second episode of season two…and then appeared in the second episode of season three before never showing up in the rest of the season. 

there’s no continuity problem with this or anything–i just don’t like scott and wish that if they were only going to keep one of pen’s coworkers, it would’ve been lori. i know that wouldn’t have let him do what they were able to with scott. but still.

max came back why?

i like max, for the record. he’s been my favorite of all penelope’s love interests so far, and i felt bad for them both when they broke up. but in terms of the finale, it felt really jarring the way they included his little appearance. 

in that one scene, the show managed to remind us that they truly loved each other, genuinely supported and cared for each other, had common background and went back a long time as friends–and that out of all the men penelope had been with, he was the one she was still hurting over.

and then he left, as easily as he appeared. 

besides reminding us that her major relationship in s2 was with max, what did that scene accomplish? it didn’t feel like closure, because it didn’t add anything to their original breakup. but it also didn’t change anything about how they ended–he remained someone she wasn’t going to be with, even though they loved each other a lot. 

the only explanation i can think of is that the show wanted to work with the actor again. because if their goal was to confirm that yes, she and max really were great together even though she wasn’t going to be with him…we didn’t need more confirmation of that. we got the message in s2. ed quinn is great though.

[douxreviews]

Gotham - ‘Ruin’ Review

Zsasz: "I did not make that building go boom Jim!"

After two sufficient episodes, and one jerry-built episode, 'Ruin' delivers easily the best chapter so far of Season 5's no man's land arc, jam-packing all of Gotham's best qualities on the front lines.

Last week, an unknown assailant bombed Haven, the refuge taken over by the GCPD to protect the civilians still trapped within the city. Gordon has no suspect at the moment, but an act as broad as this means it could really be anybody. And very understandably, Gordon's redundant speeches are not enough this time to quell the survivors' fear and rage. But at long last, Season 5 continues to give me glimpses of a more valiant and sympathetic side to Gordon as he struggles to keep the morale of his fellow officers intact, and works urgently to protect as many individuals as he can in the immediate wake of Haven's bombing.

Though 'Ruin' is still split into two separate subplots like previous episodes, the narrative of 'Ruin' has a more orderly flow to it, simply because Gotham is taking advantage of one of its most prominent gifts - its cast. Rather than having each character more allocated to their individual stories (or even worse a crime, just not having them show up at all), they are all in some way or another either involved in the search for the Haven bomber, or they're involved in the continuing pursuit of Jeremiah Valeska. Characters that have felt neglected lately, such as Nygma, Lucius, Alfred and Jeremiah, now all get at least one opportunity to be dubbed 'scene-stealer' in 'Ruin'.

Because he lost men in the bombing too, Oswald proposes a truce with Gordon so that they may combine resources and bring the bomber to justice. Since the premiere of Season 5, I've felt that Oswald should have started off this year from the get-go working alongside the GCPD. And the reason for that is because Season 4 made it a point to establish that Oswald, by comparison to other rouges, possesses a more sane and logical approach to his criminal activity. Oswald simply needs order and structure to run a prosperous criminal empire. The chaotic antics orchestrated by the Valeska brothers in Season 4 that upset the established order of Gotham's municipal formation goes very much against Oswald's rule of thumb, which was why he was so quick to turn on Jerome too. But since this alliance was likely an inevitably anyway, it's a mere nitpick for me. (That being said, it was a really dumb move for Oswald to give away his and the GCPD's position through a bullhorn when they were pursuing their suspect. Even Tony Stark, the guy who gave his home address out in a video threat to a terrorist, would see that and shake his head in stupefaction.)

Oswald and the GCPD follow up on a tip given by Barbara which leads them to none other than Victor Zsasz. Of all the characters that could flourish in no man's land, I've been especially curious this season to see the shenanigans of the gunslinger Zsasz. Anthony Carrigan's comedic take on Zsasz, reinterpreting the character more as a fusion between Deadpool and the Man with No Name, has made him one of the series' best guest-appearance characters. That being said, after Season 3 and his consistent failures to assassinate Gordon per Carmine Falcone's decree despite talking up a storm about how no one ever sees him coming, I can't say I buy Zsasz's gloating in the precinct when he assures Gordon and Bullock he didn't bomb Haven; Zsasz's reasoning is that if it was him, there'd be no survivors. I'm sure a shopping cart with one bad wheel is more fruitful than Zsasz with a firearm.

Oswald remains vengeful towards Zsasz for selling him out to Sofia Falcone last year and believes that Zsasz's denial means nothing, and that the blatherskite should be executed, a decision that is met with unanimous approval from Haven's survivors in the style of a kangaroo court (one reminiscent of Scarecrow's own hearings from The Dark Knight Rises). I always appreciate these tiny callbacks like Oswald still bitter towards Zsasz, or a desecrated 'Make Gotham Safe Again' campaign poster from Season 3 appearing in the streets, because it keeps each season from feeling disjointed from the others, and given how many writers Gotham has had staffed over the years, that feature comes up time and again. But because one does not simply kill Victor Zsasz, Gordon decides the 'innocent until proven guilty' doctrine still needs to be upheld, and frees Zsasz. Whether it's to repay the favor, or maybe because he realizes Gordon is essential to Gotham's rebuilding, Zsasz chooses afterwards to not kill off Gordon either. Because Zsasz routinely comes and goes throughout the series, this may be the very last we see of him, and so I felt it was a nice way for him and Gordon to part there - both have come quite a ways since the days of Season 1 where Zsasz was always aiming something lethal at Gordon's head.

Meanwhile, Ed Nygma continues meager efforts to understand the nature of his blackouts. For weeks, I had given up wondering if Gotham was going to give us any hints at all about Nygma's arc this season, and instead decided that maybe his story was appropriately meant to be a riddle itself. We finally get some answers to Nygma in 'Ruin' that completely revolutionize the way we'll look at all of Season 5. In his quest to follow up on a clue he had left himself, Nygma is bargained with by Lucius Fox to help him and the GCPD understand the nature of Haven's bombing. Nygma agrees, and before long, the two concur that the assailant used a rocket launcher from the outside to ignite the initial explosion within Haven. We haven't seen Fox and Nygma interact with each other since Season 3's 'How The Riddler Got His Name', and I very much enjoy their energy and possibly even dormant affinity for each other. I suspect that in another timeline where Nygma never went down a path of crime and corruption, he and Fox would have probably worked well alongside each other within the GCPD.

Also contrary to what I thought might have been Nygma's shtick this season, he actually doesn't play up the 'I've-lost-my-marbles' mindset at all this episode, instead returning to the traits of egoism and lacing riddles throughout his speech, a pleasant blend almost between the old Ed and Riddler. Following his and Fox's teamup, Nygma examines the rooftop Haven's bomber must have fired from, and notices an old lady watching him from her apartment across the street. From her, Nygma is horrified to learn that he himself is Haven's bomber (and most likely the one who also fired upon the Wayne Enterprises chopper back in the season premiere). Why Nygma is routinely shifting between alternate consciousnesses we don't know yet, but I would definitely chalk this twist up to one of Gotham's best. If not for Season 5 preparing to introduce Bane, as well as keeping Jeremiah Valeska in the spotlight, I would raise my hopes much higher for the possibility that Riddler in fact is Season 5's main antagonist. It would keep in line with the showrunners' claim that the 'Zero Year' comic inspires much of Season 5, and I personally feel we haven't really seen Riddler yet as a force to be reckoned with, at least not since the end of Season 3.

The other subplot of 'Ruin' is Bruce and Alfred pursuing Selina, simply because Bruce believes if she kills Jeremiah, it may change her for the worse. It's another amusing detail for me that this is where Bruce draws the line in regards to Selina's internal metamorphoses, yet had no problem giving her a plant with atrocious side effects Ivy advertised quite clearly. Though Bruce and Alfred both get past goons working for Jeremiah, in a manner much like how Batman will ambush his foes in the future, they are too late to stop Selina from fatally stabbing Jeremiah. Or so it would seem.

This was the most irking feature of 'Ruin' for me, and it's not even a fault of the episode - it's a fault of the marketing. Early trailers and promos for Season 5 have clearly shown additional footage of Jeremiah that we haven't gotten to yet in this season, so I don't know why Gotham suddenly thinks they can pull the wool over our eyes, and try to convince us Jeremiah is as deceased as a girlfriend of Spider-Man's who took too hard a fall off the George Washington Bridge. Personally, my money is on Clayface actually being the one Selina made quick work of. He's been absent from the series since Season 3 as well, and would also be a welcome character to see return to the final season.

Right now, I'm still skeptical if the series can follow-up with an episode that lives up to the momentum that was 'Ruin', but I don't say that as if it's a difficult thing for Gotham to accomplish. You have an incredibly talented cast and array of characters that you understand in and out Gotham - savor that while you still can, because it's a fortunate feature for any show to have.

Other Thoughts:

• Gordon tackling Zsasz head-on is a pretty amusing visual, but also another quick and snappy showcase of his increasingly appealing valor.

• Will we ever get to hear Jeremiah laugh? We all know Cameron Monaghan is very capable of the deed, it's a talent that needs to be made the most out of. It'd be like a movie casting James Spader for a role that doesn't require him to talk - indefensible!

• 'Ruin' ends with a sudden cliffhanger showing renewed romantic interest between Gordon and Barbara. Not sure why these two suddenly have the hots for each other again, but with the revelation that Barbara will have some major news for Gordon in one of the oncoming episodes, I guess it's fair that the show needed to pave the road to Barbara Gordon/Batgirl somehow. I don't quite think showing a stork deliver her to Gordon's doorstep in a basket is going to cut it for viewers.

Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.

[justreviewingokay]

D.C. Beetlejuice Review

Let me cut to the chase.  I know what you’re gonna ask, is Beetlejuice “good”?  Now I have a very complicated answer, but I will say this: if a Tim Burton styled stage show is what you’ve always wanted, then should probably be off to see it as soon as you can.  Hold your sandworms, I’m not done yet.  Beetlejuice may be a visual masterpiece, but it is also a work in progress.  If you’re looking for more than high caliber Broadway comedy actors and half-baked humor, it may be better to wait and see what the move to the Winter Garden Theatre has in store for us.  

Now for the complicated answer.  If spoilers aren’t your thing, turn back now, for the surprises of Beetlejuice are extremely rewarding.

Making it Beetlejuice’s given job to usher the dead into the netherworld is an excellent addition to the character, except there isn’t very much character to begin with.  The opening makes the blind mistake of relying on the audience already knowing who Beetlejuice is.  A newcomer to the show might find him confusing or vague.  “The Whole Being Dead Thing” is an explosively entertaining number where BJ bashes some funeral goers.  Cutting in half way is Lydia mourning with “Invisible”.  Although the long arm gag is good and the bus driver costume from the film is much appreciated, the big B is introduced all too soon. The buildup is killed rather quickly and consequently, the anticipation.  Alternatively, since the scene starts off with a dirge, Lydia could plunge right into “Invisible” with Beetlejuice popping out of the casket and delivering the brilliant line “a ballad already?” The audience cheers as he climbs out and begins “The Whole Being Dead Thing”, uninterrupted.   Act One’s pacing is quite tangled, so this jumpy establishing song is important.  Alex Brightman is an absolute tour de force and does his best with the often immature dialogue.  It’s obvious that Brightman is doing a good job of balancing the voice, but it’s still a bit much when he’s singing.  His vocal talents are betrayed in this respect and some of the lyrics are hard to understand because of it.  

The Maitlands are brilliantly portrayed by green clad Rob McClure and Kerry Butler, known for Something Rotten! and Little Shop of Horrors, respectively.  “Ready, Set, Not Yet” is funny, but far too frantic to be endearing. Contrary to the writers’ belief, Adam and Barbara can be thoroughly lame and likeable simultaneously.  In the following scenes one could argue that too many pelvic thrusts are performed.  The scene progression is quite choppy, with so many reprises that one wonders if the song ever ended in the first place.  “Fright of their Lights” has a weird 1980’s sound and it has a great joke where Adam informs BJ that they can still hear him, with BJ responding “Well that was a soliloquy, so you’re the one being rude.”  BJ’s interactions with them are typically crass, but not in a clever adult way, an almost childish mentality instead.  Many of the jokes end with an unnecessary “F You,” which often feels like it’s only there to keep children out of the theatre.

The show really begins to pick up when the Deetz family begin to move in and Lydia sings “Dead Mom,” easily one of the best numbers. Sophia Anne Caruso plays the iconic goth girl in a way that doesn’t leave you cringing at all.  As the show progresses, Lydia upstages everyone.  An odd thing to note though, Lydia comes downstairs to dinner wearing a yellow dress to confuse her dad, which is exactly what Wednesday Addams does in the Addams Family Musical.  

Slapstick is the name of the game, considering BJ himself isn’t given many witty lines in the first act.  The sight gags are what work best, so you’d assume that the iconic Day-O scene would be the hit.  Instead of ascending to a new level of ridiculousness, it stays at relatively the same length.  A puppet roasted pig is added to the song which is funny by itself, but they didn’t stop there.  The pig’s male organ begins to invade Delia’s personal space.  Leslie Kritzer (a delightful scene stealer) appeared to be having troubles realistically interacting with it, awkwardly thrusting herself into the pig’s appendage for the remainder of the song.  Even though it garnered some laughs, initially it was a distraction from more clever effects such as the shrimp hand.  This is a perfect example for most jokes in the show; something clever is undermined by something vulgar.  They say a funny person can make a good joke, but a comedian can take it to the next level.

Act Two is significantly better than the first, giving the ghost with the most just the right edge.  “That Beautiful Sound” is my personal favorite, showing off the comedic prowess of Beetlejuice and Lydia as a pair, only seen before during “Say My Name.” Casting actual teenagers as the girl-scout and Lydia was a great move, considering the big concern among fans after the misfires in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

“Children We Didn’t Have” is a wonderfully somber piece, (beautifully sung I might add) but would have made a larger impact if the audience had learned to see the Maitlands in a more positive view throughout the first act. If any song is to be removed, I hope that this one survives instead.  

Otho’s lines aren’t too brilliant, but luckily for them, they’ve got Kelvin Moon Loh to deliver.  Brief as the character is in this version, Kelvin’s comedic talents make the scenes memorable.  His days on SpongeBob SquarePants especially prove that he deserves a bigger spotlight.  

“Everything is Meh” by Boy Inferno is quite brilliant considering… well… boy bands are dead.  The netherworld has a well-designed look and the characters are quite faithful to the film, including Mrs. Juno Shoggoth exhaling smoke through her neck, Miss Argentina, a shrunken headed hunter, (the effect works surprisingly well) and that one guy who appears to have been run over.  “Running Away” has a nice tune to it and its enjoyable right up until the “woah-oh’s” start off.  This trope feels almost anachronistic and quickly evokes the desire to attempt Miss Argentina’s “little accident” on yourself.  It does end up being a good moment though, with character development for Lydia and Charles.  

The ending is hilarious and pretty unexpected. Beetlejuice’s exit is somewhat delayed though; every time you think he’s done, he turns around and delivers another cheesy one-liner.  BJ being carried off into the netherworld was quite enough. Even though it doesn’t really make sense, (does Lydia somehow have a karaoke record?) it is indeed surprisingly pleasing to hear the cast sing “Jump in the Line”… and the levitation effect is flawless.    

In fact, probably the best aspect of the show is special effects and scenic design.  David Korins has done an absolutely astounding job of fulfilling Tim Burton’s vision, all while presenting his own take.  Michael Curry’s puppet design is not to be missed, with smooth movement and grand scale. Enough cannot be said about the visual aptitude of Beetlejuice.

The music by Eddie Perfect is ironically not… perfect.   Sorry.                                Rock and Roll style ballads may be a good choice for the musical, but a few things it still lacks.  Remnants of Danny Elfman’s original score are always welcome and can be heard during some cues.  After all, the music is half of what makes Beetlejuice feel like Beetlejuice. Thankfully, the keys and trumpets are pretty prominent in Perfect’s score, which helps greatly to set the tone. It’s important to mention that one thing is missing… strings.  Violins are either utilized very little or are nonexistent.  Sound design should be looked in to, most of the time the music overpowers the voices or the voices hide the music.  Even though I have no hearing problems whatsoever, the lyrics were frequently hard to understand.  (I do realize that this could entirely be the National Theatre sound system’s fault) When you come down to it, the music needs beefing up. Giving it a fuller, more orchestral sound to complement the rock instruments is the exact way to accomplish this.  (See Hans Zimmer, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Kansas, or Foreigner with the David Eggar Orchestra)

Overall, Beetlejuice is a spectacular show with immense potential.  That fact is, frankly, quite enough to satisfy considering it could have been a huge misstep, similar to the fate of Moulin Rouge.  With the fabulous cast and crew carrying it through, Beetlejuice could be an absolute Broadway hit in the making.

We’ll see at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25th, 2019.  

[blueinkedfrost]

Heathers - Bud Dean

Bud Dean has about three canonical personality traits - explosives obsession, exercise/fitness obsession, not a very good parent. Four personality traits if you count his and J.D.'s sarcastic roleplaying exchanges as a trait. Everything else is absolutely conjecture.

Bud's other important trait is that, for a character who has 2.5 brief scenes in the movie, he's a real spotlight stealer. He's extremely interesting! This is why he tempts people to conjecture about him.

In terms of defending Bud, he's not the worst character in the movie! He only killed one person and a memorial oak tree, and in both cases was legally acquitted of responsibility. He's not a very good parent, but none of the other adult characters are particularly good either.

And, very importantly, what is 'Bud' a nickname for? I think his full name should be Burton, as it makes a nice little reference to Ira Levin's A Kiss Before Dying, which you should definitely read without spoilers.

Here are my Bud conjectures, in the order that we get information in the movie.

The first thing we learn about J.D.'s home environment is that he moves around a lot but there's a Snappy Snack Shack in every town.

J.D. I've been moved around all my life. Dallas, Baton Rouge, Vegas ... Sherwood, Ohio. There's always been a Snappy Snack Shack ... Keeps me sane.

This early in the movie, 'Keeps me sane' just sounds like hyperbolic banter. Later we realise that J.D. has some very serious issues, and Snappy Snack Shacks as his one source of stability in an unstable life were not an adequate means of support. When Veronica comments on J.D.'s motorbike, he explains a bit more of his background:

J.D. Yeah, just a humble perk from my dad's construction company. You've seen the commercial, right? "Bringing every state to a higher state".

Then it's Veronica who says the company name and Bud's name, 'Big Bud Dean Construction'. So the background here is:

Bud's business causes him and his son to move around a lot - we'll figure out that the constant moving and having no friends has a negative effect on his son's mental state. Maybe Bud would've been a better parent if he'd sent J.D. to boarding school. It seems like Bud prioritises his work over his kid, although in his defence he needs to earn a living. 

The company's clearly doing well enough to have popular T.V. ads. Bud's very competent at what he does. 

Naming your company after yourself makes you a self-made man with a high opinion of your creator. (It's not even just 'Bud Dean Construction', it's a boastful 'Big Bud'.) In contrast, Veronica's family, established in Sherwood, might have inherited money, as her parents seem to lead pretty leisurely lives.

We meet Bud in person when he walks in on J.D. and Veronica watching television (Veronica quickly removes her hand from around J.D.'s shoulders). Comparing Bud's physical appearance to Veronica's father, he has a lot more grey in his hair; it's possible Bud's meant to be older, although different people go grey at different rates and he is very physically fit.

Bud and his son communicate by putting words in each other's mouth. This roleswapping exchange is offputting, and an indication of the chaos that surrounds J.D.

J.D. Hey, son, I didn't hear you come in. BUD. Hey, Dad, how was work today? It was miserable. Some damn tribe of withered old bitches doesn't want us to terminate that fleabag hotel.

This exchange makes me conjecture that Bud's on the more misogynistic end of the Heathers spectrum, although this movie sets the bar pretty low (J.D. has the dubious distinction of 'only male character to show a vague awareness that date rape is wrong'). Veronica says 'bitch' too and she'd probably identify as a feminist, but Bud uses particularly vivid, imaginative language to denounce these women - tribe of withered old bitches, then later the judge told them to slurp shit and die. (Which the judge probably did not literally do.) This combined with the backstory on Bud's wife and Bud's dismissive attitude toward Veronica makes me think Bud doesn't think much of women.

Bud and J.D. then talk over an anecdote in "fucking Kansas", where Bud was arraigned but acquitted for illegally blowing up the Memorial Oak Tree with thirty fireworks attached to the trunk. Bud is willing to break the law and clever enough to get away with it, and doesn't care much for trees, environmentalism, or history. J.D. repeats the story as if Bud's told it many times before.

Then there's a nonverbal exchange that's quite interesting. Veronica offers to shake Bud's hand and he refuses, walking on a treadmill and giving her a perfunctory wave instead. He's clearly very interested in exercising and not very polite to her. Veronica leaves in a hurry soon after.

J.D. Veronica, this is my dad. Dad - Veronica.

VERONICA. Hi. (Bud refuses her handshake.)

J.D. Son, why don't you ask your little friend to stay for dinner?

VERONICA. I can't, uh, my mom's making my favourite meal tonight. Spaghetti, lots of oregano.

After the role reversal conversation and the handshake refusal, Veronica seems to find Bud offputting and leaves quickly. Since Veronica later asks J.D. 'Do you like your father', she doesn't find Bud likeable. However, in Veronica's second encounter with Bud, she's sarcastic about him within his earshot ('the beaver's home'), so she probably doesn't find him particularly scary or threatening.

J.D.'s last line before Veronica leaves is this tantalising beginning of a reveal, that Veronica is completely disinterested in asking for more information about:

J.D. How nice. Last time I saw my mom, she was waving from a library window in Texas. Right, Dad? BUD. Right ... son.

There's an earlier script version that gives more information about Bud's attitude here:

J.D. The last time I saw my mom, she was waving out the window of a library in Texas. Right, Dad?

BIG BUD DEAN stops rowing to grin a You-Think-You're-Tougher-Than-Me-But-You're-Not smile to J.D.

BUD. Right, son.

Bud literally killed J.D.'s mother while he watched, but instead of thinking that some kind of emotional support might be appropriate, he sees mentions of her death as a tough-out contest. Bud probably wins that contest, and along with it a 'bad parenting' prize. The way J.D. brings up his mother's death makes it feel like an unhealed wound - J.D.'s poking at the scab, trying to get some sort of reaction out of his father that he doesn't get at all.

In Bud's second appearance, J.D. and Veronica are again in the living room. Veronica threw the photo of J.D.'s mother at him in frustration, not knowing what it was. Bud walks in with a videotape, gloating over how We beat the bitches ... the judge told them to slurp shit and die. He shows the video of his deconstruction job.

BUD. I put a Norwegian in the boiler room. Masterful! And then, when that blew, it set off a pack of thermals I stuck upstairs. Some days it's great to be alive.

Bud has a high opinion of his own talents (warranted - he clearly did a good job of demolishing the hotel) and loves destruction. The video seems to be much more for enjoyment than analysing his work; he watches it and laughs. Deconstruction is a job that clearly someone has to do, and lots of people like explosions in moderation - but, for Bud, he loves them. While watching the video, J.D. clearly also starts to feel excitement and consider how he could blow up Westerburg High School. Like father, like son.

When Bud leaves, Veronica asks J.D. a question.

VERONICA. Do you like your father?

At that point in the story, Veronica's disturbed about the three murders J.D. planned and she's also noticed Bud's love for destruction - it's plausible that she asked that question hoping for a definite 'no, I'm not as destructive as my father'. She doesn't get that definite no.

J.D. I've never given the matter much thought. I liked my mother. They said her death was an accident, but she knew what she was doing. She walked into the building two minutes before my dad blew the place up. She waved at me, and then ... boom.

(The camera zooms in on the picture of a light-haired woman casually dressed on a beach, in sunglasses. The sunglasses probably symbolise 'we didn't need to find a stock photo that looked like Christian Slater'.)

Since Bud literally pulled the trigger on Mrs. Dean, it's tempting to take the way she died as symbolic of It's-Just-Possible-That-I-Might-Have-Had-Some-Issues-With-My-Husband. The death was ruled an accident; she would have walked into the building of her own will; Bud probably didn't know she was there. If Bud was a decent or semi-decent spouse, then forcing him to literally kill her was a shitty thing to do. (Similarly, Martha's method of committing suicide would've been horrifying to the car driver, but in Martha's case, she didn't know that it would be one specific driver.)

While it's not spelt out, it's easy to picture Bud as an awful or abusive spouse. Ruling Mrs. Dean's death an accident was probably quite lenient from the coroner, considering that Bud was responsible for securing the demolition site and could have been considered negligent. In this real life example where a person was killed in a demolition (it's a very sad story), the contractor's responsibility was certainly considered. In some religions, there's a stigma against suicide, which means that ruling a death accidental is considered kinder to the family. Maybe the Deans are (nominally, anyway, as they don't seem remotely devout) Catholic.

(By calling her Mrs. Dean, I'm even making an assumption that they were married, which also isn't explicitly stated - but it's a pretty safe assumption.)

J.D.'s line on whether he likes his father is I've never given the matter much thought. I liked my mother. His mother was the better parent of the two, with J.D. feeling affection for her but indifference to his father. I think J.D.'s line reminiscing about his mother is a genuine emotional moment from him. Not long after this, J.D. shoots the radio playing 'Teenage Suicide' for no obvious reason. He's an impulsive character, but also a pretty calculating one, so it's hard to understand what motivated him there. Unresolved anger from reminiscing about his mother's death seems a convincing explanation.

Bud's final brief scene in the film actually shows him in a relatively positive light. While J.D. is building the bomb to blow up the school, Bud knocks on his son's door. He's not seen, only heard.

BUD. Hey, pop, I need some help with my homework!

J.D. Not right now, tiger, I'm a little busy.

Bud tries to reach out and engage his son; his son asks him to back off; and Bud respects J.D.'s boundaries and does so. (Of course, in this particular case, obviously things did not end well.)

And then J.D. goes off and tries to blow up the school with a trigger in the basement and packs of thermals in the gym. Veronica says the line Like father, like son. She literally means that the bombing style is the same. But it's really tempting to extend her line to mean more. J.D. displays a lack of empathy and concern for human life. Could those traits be inherited from his father? Bud doesn't show much empathy and concern for his son, and doesn't seem to have any friends or any interest in remarrying. Bud's exercise habits are solitary exercise, on his personal machines (not even at the gym with other people around!). Bud shows some grandiosity in his opinions about himself, such as calling his company 'Big Bud Dean Construction' and his interpretation on exactly what the judge told the protesters. It's tempting to read Bud as the 'sociopath who succeeds in business' stereotype - someone who channels his love for explosives into mostly legal channels, is willing to break the rules (see also the Memorial Oak Tree), and doesn't care for other people's feelings.

In a movie that uses a lot of colour symbolism, Bud's colour scheme greatly varies - a red and grey tracksuit in his first scene, (bright) blue and black in his second, unseen in his third. He prefers casual clothes or exercise clothes. Red is used to symbolise power (Chandler's scrunchie); grey seems pretty neutral; blue is Veronica's colour, symbolising intelligence; black is J.D.'s colour, symbolising destruction. Power, intelligence, and destruction pretty much fit Bud's character, although it's weird to see him in blue as he and Veronica hardly have anything in common. The photo of Mrs. Dean shows her in light colours, perhaps showing that she was more vulnerable and weak.

In terms of what I like about Bud, I really like his competence and his sarcasm. He's obviously good at what he does (blows up hotels, runs a successful company, keeps physically fit). He's clever enough to blow up a memorial oak tree without getting caught. His exchanges with his son show that he's rather verbally apt. Bud seems to be doing exactly what he wants to do in life with no inner angst whatsoever, which is a lot more than most Heathers characters can say.

Overall, how terrible a parent was Bud? It's pretty open. In the suicide note for Heather Chandler, J.D. contributes Suicide is the logical answer to the myriad of problems life has given me, which you can imply that he was also using to talk about himself. 'Myriad of problems' sounds like there might be more to J.D.'s issues than 'My mom died and I move around a lot', but that's a major conjecture. Bud clearly gives his son enough pocket money to support a motorbike, a smoking habit, and a convenience store habit, as well as way too much access to weaponry. Bud's not very emotionally supportive, and rather neglectful; his son stays the night away from home on at least two occasions (before killing Heather and before killing Kurt and Ram) without Bud apparently caring much.

Given J.D.'s issues, it's tempting to blame his father to a greater or lesser extent. However, J.D. is seventeen, not seven, and responsible for his own actions. J.D.'s penchant for killing other people's bullies seems like it might tie in to past bullying he experienced himself, where if he went after his own tormentors it would be too much like admitting weakness. It's believable enough to assume his father was one of the people who hurt him, whether by action or neglect. J.D. seems to mind when Heather Chandler targets Martha and when Kurt and Ram target the nerd at the funeral, in a twisted way of showing empathy; J.D. also has some feelings for his mother and for Veronica, despite how dark he becomes. Bud isn't shown to care for anyone at all.

Through Bud's exercise obsession, he's physically tougher than his son, and he seems more emotionally callous as well. No wonder he survives the movie where his son doesn't.

Go Team Bud?

[tigerlover16-uk]

The Vegeta fanboy stuff is really annoying, isn't it? He has everything that has been set up for him done. I don't agree with some of the other side of this, either - I don't think he's a spotlight stealer, either because he actually wasn't the focus for a pretty long while, but ugh. I'd say basically everyone except Tien has gotten just enough time.

To be honest, my only major problem with him this arc (Some minor gripes aside) has been him still being in this tournament as of now as opposed to being eliminated after defeating Toppo. Him just miraculously being able to still fight with his new form despite so soon after exhausting himself took a recurring writing issue this arc and stretched it to breaking point, and honestly just going by the next episode info we have his continued use just feels like padding.

It could have been handled better in several ways, but him defeating Toppo WAS a significant achievement, and keeping him around just feels like it undermines Vegeta, Toppo and even Android 17′s big sacrifice I fear depending on how next episode goes. This really should be the point where we have Goku going Ultra Instinct again and just getting to the big awesome climax already. Dragging things out when we know Vegeta’s probably not going to actually accomplish anything, and certainly it’s not going to be as good a last stand as he had against Toppo, just feels like overkill.

I mean, I could understand at least keeping him around if they were actually going to do anything interesting with him, like have the final battle involve Ultra Instinct Vegito or Gogeta, that would be pretty cool. But all I can think is that we’re just likely to get a repeat of the whole “I have to win! For my family! My promise! MY PRIIIIIIIIIIDE!” thing that he’s been repeating for like five episodes now, only to have it end with him getting kicked out this time and probably only succeed at buying Goku some more time.

I’m just annoyed, because they had this perfect end point for the character’s role in this tournament GIFTWRAPPED for them, and they just kept him around longer. I don’t know if this is because of a mandate from Toriyama, or poor planning on the writers part, but someone screwed up here and it’s a detriment to Vegeta’s character.

And honestly, apart from all that, yeah he has done perfectly fine this tournament. He helped eliminate most of universe 9 alongside Goku, made minor contributions to a number of episodes and eliminated more people like Prum, Dr Rota and Magetta. Monna’s defeat can be partially credited to him for saving Cabba, who he helped motivate to win and get stronger. Then we had him fighting Toppo for a bit, then Katopesla, and he played a part in fighting against universe 3. And now lately we’ve had him fighting Jiren pretty well, unlocking a new transformation, and defeating a newly ascended God of Destruction while fueled by the power of love!

And all this while every other character besides Tien got at least one shining moment, yeah. I’d be happy if a number of characters I like got HALF of what he’s gotten here, and throughout Super as a whole.

So what if he didn’t win, he was a big reason universe 7 made it this far and he did a lot to contribute. And he can still keep his promise to revive universe 6 (And let’s not forget the other universes) as long as Goku wins, so it’s hardly a big catastrophy if he goes out.

And people REALLY want to argue he’s getting screwed over? Tien, Murichim, Vikal, Katopesla and Kahseral got shafted. Vegeta got plenty of shine.

I don’t know what it is with people in this fandom thinking that a character not defeating a main antagonist at any point translates to them being shafted, but it’s a mindset that needs to die already.

Vegeta got off good. Anyone who’s angry he didn’t win the whole tournament like he’s supposedly entitled to should go take it up with Majin Buu fans.

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Show Stealer” (Rated PG13)

Kurt is trying to show his family and friends his Cornell admissions video, but someone keeps snagging his spotlight. (1734 words)

Notes: So this comes some time after Blaine moves in with Sebastian and before Kurt gets into Cornell. It's inspired by all of the videos we watch of people skating on YouTube, that they film themselves at their rinks, and the unfortunate people stuck in the background. I know that I'm in the background of a few videos, and I often wonder - how was my hair? Did I look fat? Was I doing something stupid? XD Blaine friendly.

Part 29 of Outside Edge

Read on AO3

“Kurt? Are you okay in there, honey?” Elizabeth calls, anxiously waiting on the sofa beside her husband, with Sebastian and Blaine occupying the arm chairs, all eager for Kurt to give them the ‘big presentation’ he’s gathered them together for.

“Yeah, babe! We’ve been sittin’ here for fifteen minutes! I’ve already finished my bowl of popcorn!”

“Okay, okay! I’m coming!” Kurt emerges from the kitchen, sashaying into the living room with a bottle of sparkling cider and four plastic flutes in hand. “Thank you for your patience,” he says, doling out the glasses. “And without further ado ...”

Burt takes the bottle from Kurt to help open and pour. “Without further ado what exactly?”

His hands free, Kurt digs into his back pocket and pulls out a flash drive. “I present to you - my Cornell admissions video!”

“Oh! This is so exciting!” Elizabeth squeals, barely holding still enough for Burt to fill her glass. “My baby’s applying to college!”

“It’s just a technicality,” Sebastian assures her. “There’s no way Cornell isn’t going to accept the most talented figure skater in America, especially with the GPA he’s packing.”

“But how did you get it done so quickly?” Blaine asks as Kurt plugs the drive into the Blu-ray player. “Didn’t you just start making it yesterday morning?”

“It’s not complete. This is the main body of my video – me showing off my skills. I still have to film an introduction. Plus, I want to include clips of me coaching, a tour of the trophy case at the rink, that sort of thing …”

“I told you, you should hire a professional videographer.” Sebastian puts a hand on Kurt’s hip and pulls his boyfriend onto his lap. “I know a guy. He can record you skating down at my rink where it’s private, where he can control the sound and the lighting, splice in some footage of you competing, a montage of you receiving your medals …”

“But doesn’t that seem like overkill?” Kurt argues while he fiddles with the Blu-ray remote, preparing to press play. “I mean, I’ve already made a name for myself in this sport. Do I want to toot my own horn that loudly?”

“Yes!” Sebastian and Blaine agree in unison.

“I want to keep things simple,” Kurt continues, undeterred. “I don’t want to stand out because of my previous accomplishments. I mean, we all know that some judges are biased. I want my skating to speak for itself, and the best way for me to do that is to make a video that’s the same quality as everyone else’s is going to be.”

“But you’re not everyone else,” Sebastian says, putting an arm around Kurt’s waist and squeezing. “You’re Kurt Hummel, National Champion and Olympic hopeful. You’ve earned the right to go to any school in the country that has a skating program that meets your criteria, not the other way around.”

“Well, in this case, my criteria is go to the same school as my boyfriend.”

“I think Sebastian’s right,” Blaine says, earning him a wink from Sebastian and a roll of Kurt’s eyes. “Presentation is everything in figure skating, and the competition to get into Ivy League schools is stiff, even for someone with your impressive athletic background. A professionally produced video might seem like overkill to you, but it could be the thing that edges you one step ahead of another equally impressive applicant.”

“Blaine’s right, kiddo,” Burt says. “Never doubt the power of a good first impression.”

“Also,” Elizabeth chimes in, “not having a professionally produced video might make you appear cocky, as if you think you don’t need to pull out all the stops you’re capable of in order to get in.”

“Wha---?” Kurt stares at his friends and family, so nonchalantly bursting the bubble he’d been happily floating around in since he’d finished editing. “Y--you guys haven’t even seen my video yet, and you’re already telling me it’s not good enough to get me into Cornell!”

A collective sigh of guilt passes around the room. Sebastian whispers, “I’m sorry,” into Kurt’s back, accompanied by a trail of gentle kisses.

“I’m sorry, too, kiddo.”

“Me, three, Kurt.”

“You’re right,” Elizabeth says, reaching over to put an apologetic hand on her son’s knee. “Turn on the video. Let’s take a look at what you’ve got.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, a spark of excitement springing back up in his stomach. “So, I recorded this on my phone down at the Ice-plex. It highlights my upper level elements – double and triple Axel, loop, Lutz, Salchow, my original footwork, and my spin combinations.”

“What? No quads?” Sebastian teases.

“There may be one or two in there,” Kurt hints, peeking over his shoulder to wink at his boyfriend. “I’m not sayin’.”

“Oh my goodness! Who’s that little sweetheart in the background?” Elizabeth asks, pointing to the screen. Both Blaine and Burt aww with her before Kurt has the chance to turn around.

“I don’t know.” Kurt shrugs. “Just some kid who showed up early with his mom. I don’t think I’ve ever met them before.”

“He reminds me of you when you started out,” Burt says with a sentimental click of his tongue. “Look at those tiny Riedell skates!”

“He even looks like you!” Blaine says. “Look at those swooped-up bangs! And that stubborn little chin!”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s adorable,” Kurt grumbles, wishing he could skip past this section infected by that show stealer in a baby blue puff coat. He makes a mental note to go back through his video later and edit him out if he can. “Can we focus on me? I’m about to perform my triple Axel-triple loop combination. It only took me one try to get it the way I wanted it.”

“Okay, okay!” his mother says, but leans in to her husband’s ear to coo about the wobbly attempt at a scratch spin the little boy makes before the video cuts to the next scene.

Jump after spin after spin after jump is met with polite and appreciative ooo’ing and ahh’ing for Kurt, but increasingly more comments about the boy in the background. Remarks about how cute he looks in his shiny black skates top the charts; followed by commentary on his fashion sense (at one point, he unzips his coat to reveal a dark blue cardigan sweater and a red-and-white polka dot bowtie, which, again, draw more comparisons between the little skater and a young Kurt); and then on his determination and burgeoning skating skill.

But none of his antics, no matter how charming, win Kurt over. The miniature heathen’s attempt at a camel spin completely detracts attention away from Kurt’s perfectly executed quad loop!

How did Kurt not notice this interloper in the background the first time around? He probably did, but just ignored him – THE WAY EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD BE DOING!!

“Okay, guys! Watch this! This is my grand finale quad-triple-triple combination!” Kurt spills the beans even though he’d intended on keeping the details secret, in the hopes of winning back the favor of his fickle audience.

For the first time since they started watching Kurt’s video, a hush falls across the living room, all eyes remaining glued to the screen and (Kurt hopes) his upcoming feat. He’d had to push back pretty far to get the whole combo in from the angle he was filming, but it came out better than he’d hoped, all three jumps – quad Salchow, triple toe loop, triple loop – captured in frame.

“Aw!” the group exclaims in unison as Kurt’s blade hits the ice for the final time. Sebastian flinches. Burt grimaces. Blaine hisses. Elizabeth gasps.

“What?” Kurt looks at their faces, each one marred with an expression of pain. “What’s wrong!? That was perfect! Picture perfect!” Kurt says, gesturing emphatically to the screen where the combination plays again, this time in slow motion.

“No, sweetie. Not that. Your jump was amazing. But the little boy. He fell. See?” Elizabeth says sadly. She grasps her husband’s hand, overwhelmed by the memories of a younger, less experienced Kurt’s falls, the times he landed on his rear when he should have landed on an edge. His watery eyes, his wails of pain, embarrassment, and disappointment, his mother rushing to his side to make sure he was okay.

Kurt turns back to the screen, peering past his own image to see the boy sitting on his backside on the ice, bawling his eyes out, while his mom takes a knee to give him a hug.

“Didn’t you go help him?” Elizabeth asks.

“No,” Kurt says, mildly offended. “Why should I? His mom was there! He was fine!”

“But he fell trying to do the jump you were doing!” his mother points out.

“And you’re a junior coach,” his dad adds. “Your job is to help skaters at the rink. You should have at least made sure he was okay.”

“I don’t believe this!” Kurt says, throwing up his hands. His mother reaches over Kurt’s knee and snatches the Blu-ray remote. She rewinds the video to replay the poor boy’s fall, presumably to make sure that things turned out okay in the end. Everyone gasps when - beyond the spectacle of Kurt’s own epic landing and impeccable form - the little boy, with eyes on Kurt, sets up to leap into the air, teeters too far backwards, and plops down on his rear. His lower lip trembles, then he drops his head back and sobs. Kurt sighs. He knows when he’s been bested.

In this case, theoretically, he just lost his spot at Cornell to a four-year-old boy in a bowtie and a puff coat.

“Sebastian, go call your friend,” Kurt says, standing from his boyfriend’s lap. “And grab your coat.”

“Why?” Sebastian asks, not taking his eyes off the boy on the screen. He beams when the boy succeeds, through tears, to land a modest Waltz Jump, and cheers along with Elizabeth, Burt, and Blaine when he repeats it two times in a row. Kurt grabs Sebastian’s hand and drags him off the chair.

“We’re going to drive down to your rink and do some horn tooting.”

“Kurt!” Sebastian scolds, following his boyfriend to the front door. “You shouldn’t say things like that in front of your parents!”

Kurt stops a foot from the doorway, confused, but scowls when he figures it out.

“Sebastian! That’s not what I meant!”

[writer-and-artist27]

all the prime numbers >:)

Welp! Let’s do this! Thanks Os! :D

And Tomoko has seen quite a few asks. So…hm. Half will go to Tomoya, and then the other half Hikari. Mainly since these two haven’t gotten a lot of spotlight in asks. 

Put under the cut.

Hoshino Tomoya (Tomoko’s trans girl counterpart)

01. What does your character’s name mean? Did you pick it for the symbolism, or did you just like the way it sounded?

Now this has an interesting story, since some of the origins don’t fully come from me. When initially coming up with Tomoko, Tomoya’s original self, she was initially conceived to be a ninja that was to be in a team under Kushina with ninja versions of Leo and Josh. The story was scrapped, but I still kept the notes. Josh was the one who came up with her name, being a representation of her character and how he saw me as a bright friend, I guess. Hoshino being “in the star field” and Tomoko being “friendly child.”

I was the one who ended up coming up with Tomoya’s name, consulting with Josh, and ultimately sticking with it. Tomoya in some translations means “wise one,” and I thought it would be a nice contrast to Tomoko, since she unfortunately can’t be as open as Tomoko can be. 

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

Her loved ones and friends abandoning her for finding out about her reincarnation status and want to be a girl. I tried to convey that as much as I could in the initial oneshot where Tomoya met Tomoko, but the fear is more than even Tomoko’s own personal fear of being forgotten, because Tomoya has so much on her chest. Being a reincarnation with these memories of the Naruto world, knowing that in a previous life that she was happy, and the simple fact that she’s now a girl in a boy’s body, and it’s not the life she really wanted to begin with. And on hiding it, I’d like to think Tomoya does a much better job at hiding things in general than Tomoko, because there’s more than just memories on the line now.

03. What would be their favorite physical trait about themselves?

Unlike Tomoko, something that Tomoya adores is her hair. Despite inheriting most of Judai’s physical characteristics, such as angular face and eye shape, Tomoya still has Hikari’s silky hair, which she grows out to have in a ponytail, just to have that feminine flare and connection to her real self. Inwardly, Hisako is all the more proud.

05. Are they sexually confident or more of the shy type?

Shy. No question about that. Vy was sexually repulsed and awkward, Tomoko’s still awkward, and Tomoya? No doubt - she’s awkward too. 

07. Is there a catchphrase or sound that they tend to make a lot (likely without being aware of it)?

Tomoya never really caught on until Judai pointed it out, but she does have a habit of whistling softly, her tongue touching the roof of her mouth while doing so, when unsure or merely bored. Hikari was quite amused at the various noises Tomoya could make in times of silence, since it could range from high pitched solos to simple wind-blowing.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

If someone misgendered her as a guy and kept doing so, even after she went on to correct them. Forget Kakashi being mad, Tomoya would be the one to sock the offender in the face first. 

Hell, if the offender tried to force her into a male-dominated role or wear male clothing, she’ll be pretty mad. Only Hikari or Judai could really calm her down at that point.

13. What are your character’s sleeping habits? Heavy or light sleeper? Blanket stealer? One that always rolls onto the floor? Pushes their lover onto the floor? Sleep talker or walker?

Tomoya, unlike Tomoko, wouldn’t be much of a Cuddle Bug, but rather a blanket stealer, taking up all the blankets in her sleep while shifting every now and then to make a burrito, snoring deeply all the while. While Tomoko inherited Judai’s penchant for drooling sometimes, Tomoya inherited the snores. 

The blanket thing though? It’s to make up for the lack of hugs that Vy got to do constantly back in her days.

17. Does your character have dreams of getting married and/or having children?

Tomoya never really thought about having children. If anything, like Tomoko, she kinda yearns for a simple life where her loved ones don’t have to deal with war or handle ridiculous alien-bullshit on the level Boruto goes on. So it’s an iffy subject.

Hoshino Hikari

19. Would your character be the kind to get into fights? (physical or verbal) Would they be a good fighter or cave in rather easily?

I’d like to think she could. If not for common sense and her own physical strength as a civilian wearing her down, I could easily imagine Hikari going on to deck people like the Third Hokage just because she can. Hiruzen kinda put Judai through the wringer, and with how he’s handling Team Minato and Tomoko, Hikari’s fists are raised. Nonetheless, she’s a civvie. So it probably won’t end well, and she knows it. So, she uses her words and voice instead. It’s had a much better effect.

23. What is your character like when it comes to school? What subjects are they good/bad at? Do they get in trouble a lot or are well behaved?

Hikari would be that one girl who gets everything done on time, but never really shows off on it. The best subjects for her are Dance and Art Design, because she’s able to improvise on moves while creating outfits that are practical to wear. I’d like to think she’s well behaved, but she would get on the bad side of someone without question if it means defending something or someone she cares about.

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

Essentially do what a civilian might see as near suicide in marching up to the Hokage Tower, slamming open the door while in the middle of a debriefing, and verbally chewing Hiruzen out for his sending Judai on so many missions. It’s something that solidified the Hoshino name in many ninjas’ minds as something to be respected, because Judai was completely shocked speechless at the whole thing while the Hokage took it in without even threatening to take her out of the room or kill her. It takes guts to stand up to a military leader, and Hikari did it without a scratch. 

Judai couldn’t help but ask her out after his retirement right then and there. 

31. Would your character be the kind capable of killing? Would they enjoy killing or only use it when necessary or, perhaps, refuse to kill no matter what?

Hikari, despite her tough-as-nails personality when it comes to things she’s passionate about, would never be able to enjoy killing. Hell, I wouldn’t see her capable of killing. She may think of it, especially if she ever encountered Orochimaru, but The Sea and Stars showed how she couldn’t follow through with that sentiment. If anything, she’d rather let someone else do the killing if it’s really necessary, but she’s not going to like it no matter what. 

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

Blood getting everywhere. That’s it. It’s not hemophobia though - if anything, the pet peeve was born from the many times Judai, back when he was single and getting to know her, used her apartment as a getaway from the hospital when he was bored, and she still shrieks bloody murder when he does that these days. Tomoko usually has to duck away or cover her eyes first, because that’s one of the few times Judai has to deal with Hikari’s anger directly. 

41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

I’ve mentioned this in an ask before, but Hikari’s parents are still alive, if not distant. Unlike Hikari, who chose to rebel from the usual unspoken civilian thought and befriend ninja, her parents were somewhat clean-cut in raising her, expecting her to at least marry a good husband and continue in the usual life. 

Hence when they heard of her friendship with Judai, they weren’t all that approving, and disapproved even more when she moved out of the house to go to her own apartment and raise money for her cafe dream. “You’re too naive and reckless,” they said. Once news got out about the whole Hikari-chewing-out-the-Third-Hokage situation, though, they cut ties so that they wouldn’t be caught up in what they saw as Hikari’s mess. 

Needless to say, Tomoko hasn’t exactly seen her maternal grandparents aside from the occasional picture, and with the situation with Sakumo and Kakashi, Hikari’s still debating. Judai does encourage her to reconcile with them, since they did care enough for her to leave on somewhat amicable terms, but it’s still up in the air.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

Hm, it’s not exactly a “switch”, per say, but more of a small button that Hikari almost always has on the “ON” setting since getting to know Judai. He helped her open up first. 

A lot of her free, creative self has then been around more since marrying him and having Tomoko. Heck, this “true” self has gone on to be how Sakumo, Kakashi, Obito, RIn, and, bringing in The Sea and Stars, how Miyako, Wataru, Hayate, and Kei see her as. The fashion-designer, violinist, and overall awesome “Aunt Hikari.” And to Tomoko, she’s “Mama”, and since “Mama” was Tomoko’s first word, Hikari takes it all in stride. 

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Peck Judai on the lips whenever he’s caught thinking. Needless to say, it helps bring the innate ninja paranoia in him down when it’s her, and he’s left blushing and laughing because of it. 

[heartsavage-blog]

( alberto rosende, twenty-five, cismale, he/him, muggleborn )  —  dear marlon bautista, i have the pleasure of writing to you to introduce to you your partner, marnie zigs. you’re so sarcastic and critical yet so organized and softhearted that it’s no wonder they were paired with someone such as yourself. you were in ravenclaw, correct? ah, no matter. as a herbologist, you must be looking forward to this new step in your life. sincerely, the minister of magic.   ╱   mia. )

it's time for little baby marlon !

HE'S A CHILD OK

his dad is a well-known colombian singer, or at least he was in the eighties. older ladies still sing his songs when they're doing the dishes or something, and wonder if their husbands couldn't be more like rogelio bautista, stealer of hearts, sweet-tongued bastard. 

rogelio's songs are mostly romantic ballads, super mushy and super tacky. he's considered a has-been by most people now, but marlon was born when he was all the rage in south america. his mom, a cuban actress living in colombia, dated rogelio for only a few months, and was labelled a gold digger as soon as news of her pregnancy got out.

despite having spent the first few years unknowingly on the spotlight, marlon had a nice childhood. his father wasn't always present, but took care of him and his mother, and the three of them have a nice relationship. 

as his father's fame started to cool down, marlon was still trying to figure out who he was besides rogelio bautista's son. although he was named after marlon brando, he never felt like a tough guy. in fact, he was beat up a lot in school, with kids calling his father homophobic slurs. this prompted his mother to move to england when marlon was eight, where some relatives lived at the time, and try to put the past behind them and go somewhere no one knew who they were. 

his early demonstrations of magic prompted his mother, a devoted catholic, to take him to a priest to be exorcized. she actually went to four different priests, all which couldn't find anythign wrong with marlon, before giving up. still, she slept with a bottle a holy water besides her, and made marlon pray fervorously every night before bed.

getting his hogwarts letter was like satan himself had written inviting marlon to attend a school in hell. his mother took him and the letter to the priest again, who laughed it off, believing it was a prank by little marlon. it took visits from both hagrid and dumbledore to explain wizardry and witchcraft to her, and still she was under heavy tranquilizers the afternoon marlon went off to hogwarts. 

he was sorted into ravenclaw, much to his surprise, because he never thought he was clever enough. however, his brilliance showed off in some unexpected areas, like herbology, chess and potions. he wasn't cut out for quidditch, that's for sure, but everything was exciting, and he loved learning about everything.

it took seven years, but by the time he graduated, his mother was finally proud of her son, a herbologist ! 

during the war he probably lived with his mother, writing books and trying to stay out of everything. he's not a skilled dueller and is afraid of everything. he probably popped out of his golden cage once he was sure voldermort was dead, and helped the injured and sick with his knowledge of potions and plants. 

he's never had a serious relationship, so he's terrified of the marriage law. it's just too much pressure.

he tries to put on a cold exterior by being sarcastic and overly critical of everything all the time but he's just too Soft. he's sensitive and he cries and he's so insecure. he deeply regrets not fighting the war, he wishes he was stronger and braver. he cries over the ones who died, the ones who lived, and just how useless he was during the whole thing, while there were people out there fighting and willing to die for his right to live and practice magic. he probably has depression but doesn't know it yet.

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 23/50: New Gods #6 (1989)

The New Gods were Jack Kirby’s pet project. As the legend goes, he proposed to Marvel that he be allowed to kill off the entire Thor cast and setting and have new guys instead. For some reason Marvel didn’t bite.

Honestly its for the best. Killing off Thor et al would have deprived us of the incredible Walter Simonson run, Jane Foster as Thor, and most importantly of Throg, frog of thunder. Not having to steal Darkseid to invent Thanos wouldn’t have been worth missing out on that.

Later Kirby took the idea to DC who not only let him build up his Fourth World mythology in several books but also gave Kirby the Jimmy Olsen book to help build it up.

“Take our Olsen, please!”

Really, Kirby asked for the Jimmy Olsen book because nobody was writing it and Jack “the King” Kirby was a very classy guy who didn’t want to screw another writer out of a job.

Heck of a guy.

For whatever reason, the New Gods and Fourth World stuff never took off quite as much as some other things but elements like Darkseid and also Darkseid and some more Darkseid caught on.

Seriously, does anyone care about anything from New Genesis that isn’t Orion or Mister Miracle?

So New Gods slash the Fourth World have a spotty publishing history. As in, they don’t always get their own dedicated books but the Darkseid Darkseid Darkseid elements bled into other things. Like the time an exile from Apokolips brainwashed Superman into almost starring in a porno…….

Sometimes comics…. bad.

But the point being this is how we get a New Gods issue 6 all the way into 1989. That and Crisis on Infinite Earths blowing up continuity so that the New Gods had to be reestablished.

I’ll be honest, I never much cared for the Fourth World stuff. I don’t dislike it. I just don’t much care for it. I’m fairly neutral.

So can this comic six issues into a series make me care? Well its Orion focused so possibly not?

I dislike how his flying harness thing makes him look like he’s constipated squatting and his default demeanor is roid rage.

See, look how angry he is to be stepped on by zombies. Learn to chill, my dude.

The comic starts with some establishing narration about the death of the old gods and creation of the Fourth World. I don’t know if the comic waited until issue 6 to cover this fairly important detail of the premise or whether it just says this at the beginning of every issue.

But heres the quick and the dirty: the old gods fought the final battle and as it was the final battle they all died when some evil shadow split the world of the old gods (hey maybe it was Asgard, suggests the narration) in twain.

Half became New Genesis, a world of good people and good things like puppies and rainbows. And half became Apokolips, for evil people and evil things like torture and gigantic plumes of fire.

Its not subtle or very complex but that’s not how Jack Kirby or comics rolled.

One wrinkle though is Orion.

The Evil Gods and the Good Gods decided to do a son swap for reasons of peace or something. Highfather took Darkseid’s son Orion and tried to teach him of peace and good although a terrible hair trigger temper burned in Orion’s heart. And Darkseid took Highfather’s son Scott Free and placed him in a ‘terror orphanage’ and ‘tortured him forever.’

Quite a difference in priorities there but don’t forget that the New Gods of Apokolips are super duper evil.

Scott Free got free and became a super escape artist superhero but is generally a pretty morally good guy. It turns out that when you only teach a guy to escape you, he only learns to escape you.

But Orion is thematically the midpoint between New Genesis and Apokolips, caught between them being torn between nature and nurture, between his bloodthirsty Apokolipsan instincts and his ‘don’t be a dick’ training from New Genesis.

He’s hypothetically a really interesting character.

Also, this issue contains zombies of the Old Gods, called Dreggs because misspelling is trademarkable.

They live in the ruins within Apokolips and occasionally poke their head out only to be whack a moled by Kalibak.

They’re why the issue is titled “People Too Stupid to Die!”

Orion is flying around in his dumb harness bemoaning the constant war that rages between his two halves and wishing it could be fought with punching instead of thinking. And wondering why Forager yelled at him for blowing up the land of bugs. Bug women are so confusing.

So he decides to visit his only friend, government agent Dave Lincoln “one of a select few Earth-dwellers linked to the gods by the Anti-Life equation…”

The more I learn about the Anti-Life Equation the less sense it makes.

And also I immediately hate Dave Lincoln. There’s just real kneejerk animosity. For one thing he’s one of those guys that smokes a pipe and also gestures with his pipe. For another thing, he criticizes the Cuomo administration for not building enough prisons and not executing enough people.

What particularly rankles is that this guy is supposed to be the guy that teaches Orion Earth morality (because apparently he didn’t learn dick on New Genesis).

When Dave Lincoln chases down a fleeing murderer who almost gets the drop on him, Orion intervenes and is about to kill the criminal when Lincoln tells him not to.

Because unsurprisingly on Apokolips if you beat an opponent, their life is forfeit. And again, either it’s the same way on New Genesis or they didn’t teach Orion dick.

Speaking of Apokolips, Darkseid had some women named Eve kidnapped who I guess is tied to Orion in some way. But he does not let god of torture Desaad torture her because his plan is to get Orion to kill her somehow.

Not sure how he’ll finagle that but apparently her death will unlock another facet of the Anti-Life Equation for Darkseid and make him even more powerful.

And to illustrate how big his power already is, he shoots some Omega beams into the atmosphere on a whim that also aggros the zombies. There’s basically no reason for him to be blasting off at nothing except to get the zombies to scrumble out of the underground and be present in the plot.

Meanwhile, New Genesis.

I wonder what this perfect paradise planet full of only good people is like?

Well apparently some jerks ‘usurped’ the Highfather’s power by forming a council so that he doesn’t have unilateral power.

And the Highfather responds to this infringement on his ‘natural’ power by first calling them uninspired leeches.

Highfather: “It was I who settled New Genesis, established the dream… always there are others, incapable of their own dreams, to come forth and lay claim to mine! Always, there are those who seek to reap the benefits of today, never having fought the battles which allowed us to have dreams at all!”

The council was, by the way, elected. So its not like they just seized power.

Anyway, that’s when Highfather decides to dissolve their council and be unilateral again.

Highfather: “People of New Genesis… a new order begins today in the form of the old order. I again preside.”

I… have no idea how this is supposed to come off.

I guess both the paradise and hell god worlds agree that an uncontested patriarchal single central leader is the ideal form of government, they just disagree on whether said leader should have a beard or a face made of rock.

And both would agree that Democracy Is Bad.

Eesh.

Lightray, the new New God that apparently fans hated for being a spotlight stealer, worries that a civil war might be brewing on the paradise good planet of only good gods and decides he should find Metron for advice but think of the devil and boop there Metron appears.

Metron redirects Lightray by telling him that Eve got kidnapped and possible society splitting pushed out of mind, Lightray zooms off to Earth to go tell Orion while Metron muses that this really might be the end of New Genesis.

On Earth, Orion is still talking about how you just gotta kill your opponents otherwise you’re weak and you’ll be disrespected and he uses as an example a cockroach he finds in Dave Lincoln’s apartment. It has invaded his territory and he’s not even destroying it!

So Orion squishes it. A GREAT VICTORY FOR ORION!

Then Lightray shows up and tells Orion that Darkseid has kidnapped Eve! Orion decides he’s going to beat up Darkseid!

‘And rescue Eve’ reminds Dave Lincoln.

‘Sure sure,’ says Orion, basically.

Then they boom tube to Apokolips.

Where meanwhile, Darkseid has gotten distracted from his plot to get Orion to murder someone because all these zombies have shown up.

He tells them to gtfo but they don’t listen. He has them shot but they still don’t listen. Because they are zombies.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Desaad uses Darkseid’s distraction to hook Even naked into an upside down torture machine. Annnnnnd then Orion bursts through the wall like an X-Force.

Did you know that the members of X-Force have collectively died more often than they’ve used a door? Plausibly true story.

Anyway, Desaad summons some big toughies and skee daddles. Orion punches all the big guys because that’s what he do. He also works himself into a lather because that is also what he do.

Around when Orion is making a guy shoot himself in the face while cracking a disturbing grin, Lightray reminds Orion of the thing that Dave Lincoln told him. Presumably the thing about la la la la save the girl do not fight the dad.

Meanwhile, Darkseid still telling the zombies to gtfo. And any amount of strikes and they’re out so Darkseid shoots his Omega Beams at them.

And nothing happens.

“There can be no victory for Darkseid: How can you savor the death of that which is already dead?”

Is THAT how the Omega Beams work??

One of the zombies tries to grope at Darkseid so he shoots some Omega Beams again.

To again no obvious, immediate effect.

But hey, here’s the thing which would sound made up if you encountered it in a dry synopsis.

The Omega Beams that Darkseid fired at the zombies?

They go through them to no avail but beams don’t just stop being a thing. They keep traveling to where Orion, Eve, and Lightray are.

Orion assumes, as his lather is still lathered on both sides, that Darkseid is attacking him but the beams go right by him and zap Eve and Lightray out of existence or somewhere nasty or however Omega Beams work today.

Shocked and appalled that Darkseid wasn’t targeting him, Orion shouts that Darkseid’s quarrel is with him and waits for the other shoe to drop. Then the other pair of Omega Beams that Darkseid fired at the zombies hit him and vanish him away.

“Just for the moment, as he is banished to the next conflict, Orion wonders if this is the will of Darkseid or mere chance... just as quickly, he dismisses the notion that, here, there is anything but the will of Darkseid.”

We cut to Darkseid questioning Desaad if Orion’s ‘true nature’ came forth.

Desaad says that Lightray kept Orion good but that doesn’t really match what I saw happen.

The god of torture asks what happened to the invading zombies and Darkseid says that he let them go because they are feeble and unworthy of his attention.

Unbenoticed, the zombie that tried to grab Darkseid grabs Orion’s helmet as it and the other Dregg shuffle away.

“With Darkseid, there is never the accidental, only the deliberate. All, even when it fails, is according to his grand design... He has vanquished the Dreggs well. They departed, he knows, not out of disinterest but because they recognized his might. Now, they wander off not of their own will. Of that, Darkseid is certain. But what brought them here remains a mystery, even to him... Perhaps they came to remind him of a time past... Perhaps, he wonders, they carry some message... but, of course, Darkseid has nothing to learn from the past.”

Womp womp womp

There’s a funny implication that despite what Orion and Darkseid believe, Darkseid has no idea what just happened and the plan went completely off the rails and it was because of something stupid like blind firing into a pack of zombies hitting someone across the planet.

But if the zombies were attracted to distract Darkseid from his plans for Orion and accidentally shoot his plans for Orion, then what is the architect?

The narration says that they were attracted by Darkseid firing lasers into the atmosphere.

It’s all a bit inexplicable.