#I let her get away with WAY less than my mum did and we sort of got along and started to get to know each other for the first time

[coleslaww]

Putting this all in the tags cause it's some heavy stuff. TW for drug abuse, assault and suicide.

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

[wosoamazing]

World Cup Preparations & Travel

Alessia x Child!R - Diabetes & Love Series Warnings: Diabetes

Your Mum had her meeting with Sarina straight after Lotte, so they went together with you, they had both been accepted as part of the team, but Sarina was having meetings with everyone to check how England could best support everyone during this time, Lotte made sure to keep her meeting short so Alessia could talk to Sarina, knowing your Mum was nervous about not having enough time to go over everything and she didn’t want to take time away from the person after her. Sarina was nothing but supportive and your Mum was extremely happy with everything they had discussed and the plan that was put into place. 

—

When both Lotte and Alessia’s England ‘kits’ were delivered as promised there seemed to be much more than was required for them both. After sorting everything out they still had quite a decent pile left over.

“Are you sure you’ve got everything Lotte? Why is there so much extra? Maybe there has been a mistake,” You Mum said, starting to re-check everything in their piles.

“Uh Less, I think you’ll find there wasn’t a mistake,” Lotte said as she held up a mini training kit.

“Oh my god, no way,” they were quick to open up all the other ‘spare’ items only to see each and everyone was a smaller version of what they had received, you had been given your own kit.

__________

“Wow Less, quite the entourage there,” Lucy joked as you Mum wheeled in a luggage trolley of 5 bags, plus your backpacks, you sitting on top of all the luggage.

“Yeah,” Alessia breathed out, causing Lucy to slightly regret what she said, usually your Mum knew she was joking and had a playful comeback however currently she was too worried about travelling with you for the first time since your diagnosis, to even be able to accept Lucy’s words as a joke.

“Alessia, which ones do you need to keep with you both?” Sarina asked as she entered the doors.

“That one, and our backpacks,” you told Sarina, “that's right, right?” and your Mum just nodded, before Sarina took the bag you pointed to and your backpacks of the trolley, putting them off to the side.

“Alessia, stay here, take a breather, relax, we are here to help and everything will be okay, I’ll take Tiny and your other luggage over to get it checked in,” Sarina said to your Mum who looked like she was almost in tears, “Lucy, make sure Alessia is ok I’ll check your bag too. Come on, Tiny,” and with that you were off on an adventure with Sarina.

-

“Is everything okay Less? You seemed more stressed than normal,” Lucy asked, now clearly concerned about the young striker.

“Yeah, there is just a lot more to organise now, she has diabetes, she was diagnosed a month ago, hence all the bags,” you Mum said, still clearly ready to cry. Lotte had noticed this and quickly made her way over to wrap your Mum in a hug.

“Oh, if you ever need any help let us know,” “I will thank you Lucy,” Alessia said and Lucy took that as her clue to leave.

“Do you need anything? Want me to do anything? Where is she?” Lotte asked.

“Sarina took her to check in our bags, I’m just,” your Mum let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know, this is helping though, thank you,” Lotte just nodded and hugged your Mum slightly tighter.

“Mummy,” you shouted through the airport as you ran to her.

“Inside voice,” Lotte told you as you continued running towards them, and she released the hug.

“They let me press the button to take the bags away” you told her excitedly as she picked you up, hugging you tightly, “I love you Mummy, like so much” you had sensed she was upset or something was wrong with her and whenever you were sad and she told you she loved you it made you feel better, so you thought it would make her better too, which it did slightly. 

“I love you too Pea, so so much,” your Mum told you before the team started walking off, you asking to be put down so you could walk, or more like run, alongside them all.

______

Once you were at security Sarina had quickly walked off to talk to one of the officers, before she waved Alessia over, who was informed they were going to take you and her through a different line so there was less stress and pressure to do everything quickly.

“Um, there are dexcom G6s in here and she also is wearing one, they can’t go through the body scanners or anything similar, they are okay to go through the x-ray machines though,” Your Mum told the staff member who nodded. Thankfully everything went smoothly, the same couldn’t be said for Tooney though, who managed to set the body scanner off and had to get patted down, having left her phone in her pocket.

______

“You sitting with me Squirt?” Mary asked in a joking tone, as you were lined up to board

“No Mummy,” you said almost desperately as you immediately clutched onto her hand, causing her to pick you up.

“It’s okay Pea, you can absolutely sit next to me,” she told you as she walked you onto the plane, needing to talk to the flight attendants as you got on, “Pea, why don’t you let Hempo take you down to our seats, I think she is sitting in the row in front of us,” your Mum said to Hempo who nodded at her, you didn’t reply but you taking Hempo’s hand was enough for your Mum to know you were okay with it.

“What are you planning on doing on the plane?” Lauren asked you as you led her down the plane aisle.

“Um, colouring, movies, more colouring, iPad, drawing,” “what about sleep?” “yeah maybe that too,” you replied, causing her to laugh.

_____

“Less, you good?” Lotte asked, noticing her friend had paled slightly.

“Yeah fine, just a bit of a headache, nothing to worry about though,” your Mum replied trying to wave Lotte off, as she pricked your finger for what seemed like the 100th time that hour.

“Less, you’re literally worrying yourself sick, switch seats with me and try to sleep a bit, I know what I’m doing, I was there, she knows when she is low or high and is very good at telling us and if anything happens I can quickly wake you and the  medics are here and know what to do as well. It will be fine,” you Mum just nodded before standing up and switching seats, promptly falling asleep.

-

“Where is she?” Your Mum said as she woke from her much needed sleep.

“She is currently running up and down the aisle with Mary,” your Mum’s eyes went wide, “She was slightly high so rather than giving her insulin I thought I would see if some activity would work,” Lotte saw your Mum’s face visibly relax at that.

“Mummy!” You yelled as your body crashed into her legs.

“Shhh Pea, people are sleeping, we need to use our inside voices you can keep running if you want though,” your Mum told you and you shook your head, and just pointed to Mary who was walking back clearly out of breath, “did you tire Mary out? Would you like a hug and we watch a movie together or do you want to do something else?” “Movie,” “Okay well let's go sit next to Lotte in your seat and you can pick a movie,”

_______

After a very long flight that seemed to last forever you finally made it to Australia and settled in.

[nothing0fnothing]

One time my mother, in a rage over open windows, came to my closed bedroom door and hit it so hard the coat hook attached to my side of it came down. The door did not open, as the handle needed to be turned to do that. When she engaged the handle the wooden coat hook, with my coats on top of it, caught under the door and jammed it in place.

I had been sitting happily on my bed, quietly playing Nintendogs on my DS when this happened, with no idea I'd done something wrong. When I head the door bang and watched the coat hanger clatter to the ground I lept up in fright and, on instinct, drew away from the door I anticipated would fly open at any second.

The door had no lock installed on it, and never had. We were not a locks on doors household, the only one being the tiny silver slide lock on the downstairs half bath. Nevertheless, she accused me of locking the door, and demanded I unlock it immediately.

I approached the shaking door gingerly, very afraid to be near it when the coat became dislodged. She was screaming and banging so hard and with such tenacity that I'd barely managed to jump out of its path just in time as it swung open fast and hard, missing my face by a hair and slamming hard against the wall.

Now inside my room, she approached, looming over me, screaming barely coherent words, scaring the absolute soul out of me. She had me backed into the corner on the other side of the room, drawn into myself completely, as if I could shrink into my own shadow and disappear.

Suddenly she stopped, turned around and went out the way she'd came.

"Clean up this shit." She snapped, gesturing the the mess of broken wood and coats that was now crumpled in a heap at the wall.

Then she was gone, slamming my door behind her, leaving me scared and shaking, my arms still reflexively up in a defense position my eyes still streaming. I stood there a moment composing myself, eyes glued on the door processing what had just happened.

Luckily I'd stood there in shock before jumping to her command to clean up the broken coat hooks, because if I hadn't the door would have hit me hard as she slammed it against the wall a second time.

I turned white as a sheet as I realised I was stood exactly as I was when she told me to clean the coats up less than twenty second prior.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing" I answered honestly, my first word since this entire interaction began.

She screamed a long screech and stormed away. She left the door open with the coat mess behind it, and cowering like a frightened cat as she went to find something or someone else to inflict her mood onto.

I waited a beat to see if she was coming back, but once I'd tracked her footsteps to the back door, the complete other side to the house that I was on, I breathed for what felt like the first time in a whole minute. The room felt cold and the quiet, the repetitive music drifting out of my DS felt out of place. I carefully moved the door so I could get to what was behind it, ensuring I'd left it ajar so I could easily hear what was going on downstairs and have some warning if she came back.

Crouched uncomfortably, I began collecting and sorting the mess. Broken wood in one pile, coats in another, while I considered what to do with them now I had no hooks to hang them from. Mum might fly off again if I let them take up a lot of space if hung inside my wardrobe, but she also might if I let them take up 4 whole hooks supposed to be shared by the family on the coat hooks in the foyer. I could stack them in twos, only taking up two hooks, but I didn't want to face the wrath if one slipped or fell either. I was considering the possibility of hanging them on coat hangers on the outside of my wardrobe, draping them over the doors until I heard movement again.

I froze completely still while I tracked the movement from the back garden door, through the kitchen and into the dining room, going cold when I realised it was coming in my direction. It stopped at the stairs and my mums voice, shrill and too loud came from up them.

"Why is your door closed?"

I grabbed and pulled it open fast, praying she wouldn't come up and see how I'd let it scatter the wood pieces.

"Did I tell you to open it or did I ask you why it was closed?"

"I'm cleaning the wood up" I squeaked, scrambling to collect them all into the bin.

"Wood? What wood?" She asked. I trembled in horror hearing her begin up the stairs again. "What wood?" She repeated, angrier, I couldn't even string an explanation together, frightened that a retelling of the truth might come across too critical and earn me a beating.

It didn't matter anyway, because she was now in my bedroom doorway for the third time since this began, staring down at me as I got the last of the broken bits into the bin. My heart was thumping so painfully hard in my chest a panicked thought loudly told me that I'd surely have a heart attack and die at any moment.

"You've been up here for half an hour doing that?" She asked. I wasn't sure I was, but I nodded anyway.

She sighed angrily and took the coats from my lap. "Just play your game." She said, leaving the door ajar as she left.

Once my heart went back to normal and my cold skin warmed up, I allowed myself to sit gingerly on my bed again. I continued tracking her movements with my ears the rest of the day. They were less stompy and I even heard her laughing and joking on the phone.

I picked up a book and read for a while, then I let myself get back to my game, playing on mute, but still I let my ears follow her around the house, my stomach turning every time she approached the stairs. She left me alone till bed time, when she came to check I'd brushed my teeth and popped a hot chocolate on my night stand. I hugged her and let her kiss me and had nightmares all night.

[hay1ock]

FFS, Boston. And there you have my review of Only Friends Episode 5. See you next time.

No but seriously, what the heck? There was nothing subtle or sly this time round, Boston went straight for the jugular with Ray this episode *takes a breath* My poor baby just wanted to drink, get high and avoid his problems. Give my puppy-eyed, depressed, alcoholic cutie pie a break would ya?

Ramble mode activated. I start these with good intentions of having some sort of order to my thoughts but think with every episode I get even more random and all over the place lol. So I shall apologise to anybody reading this in advance.

Where to (try to) focus first? I guess Sand (and Ray) as he opened the episode for us. I like the idea of us and our heroes sharing the same 24 hours. We might not fill them the same way but the fact it’s the same for everyone, not an hour less or an hour more, everybody gets 24, I never thought about it that way. I kind of like it. I don’t really have a ranking for the characters other than Ray, who is currently sitting very pretty at the top. And I think… probably… Top earned himself his position down at the bottom (yes even Boston’s outburst this episode didn’t have me yeeting him into the deepest darkest pit - I hate his actions, but also kind of love it all going to shit - however, this is under the assumption that everything, somehow, will work out for Ray and Sand in the end. If not, then Boston, sorry, I’ll be going ‘This is Sparta’ on your ass and you’re plummeting to the darkest depths of the rankings). The other 4 main boys currently all sit in between Ray and Top, shuffling around depending on the day lol. But I digress, what I meant to say was OMG I love Sand. He earned himself a little best boy badge this episode. For the time being at least, he seems the most grounded and stable.

It was great to get to see into his life and his routines. I love that he allowed Ray to experience his world. And I think that it’s the sweetest thing ever that despite all his whining, Ray went along with everything Sand said so he could spend the day with him - ate his breakfast, got on the bike, played dress up, waited in the crowd to save their spot, let Sand treat him to a beer, sang karaoke. He took an interest. He didn’t poo-poo the secondhand clothes simply said they weren’t his thing. He asked about Sand’s dreams (Like does Ray actually have dreams of his own? The hostel was a dream Mew had FOR him and his future. Does a guy slowly killing himself with alcohol think to dream, hope, plan for a future?). He wanted to help with the ‘debt collectors’ (I think even Sand would be willing to accept Ray bailing him out if for the sake of his mum), asked about Sand’s mum, answered Sand’s question about his own mum (god the way Sand faltered pouring that drink as soon as Ray said how his mum died), and even right at the end offered to answer any questions Sand had about what Boston had said about Mew (The way Ray said ‘okay?’ and ‘Sand’🥺). The little steps Ray, actually both of them had taken were made meaningless when Boston revealed what he did. I hated seeing Ray go straight for the alcohol in order to cope with what had gone down. I just hope they weren’t pushed too many steps back.

That last scene in bed was heartbreaking. They had shared so many intimate moments across the day, and not just the tension between them at breakfast and in the changing room. Ray had gotten to meet Sand’s mom - I couldn’t with his little face when he mouthed ‘Happy birthday’ when they sang the second time, as if it was a whole new world. I would assume his birthdays when his mum was alive were vastly different considering her depression and drinking. The girl at the concert, the way she was introduced to show that Ray’s attention was truly on Sand. And the way Ray was hanging off Sand and leaning against him so easily at the party and… Sighs. The bubble bursts and we’re in bed and Sand is turning away from him, thinking there’s no way he can fit into Ray’s 24 hours, that he isn’t special enough to get his own ‘extra hour’, gah I wanted to cry. I mean Ray had made time for you that very day, Sand! Noooo. It doesn’t help First plays the sad and hurt puppy face so well. There was a lot going on, they’d been drinking so don’t blame Sand for being overwhelmed and thinking it easier to back off, just shut the conversation down, at least right then. Hearing about Top again, the fact Top’s with someone Ray loves probably brought up some unwanted memories of his ex, along with finding out Ray had been in love with Mew for years and he probably couldn’t see how he could possibly compete with that. And then we have Ray, who I don’t know if he’s in any way equipped or sober enough to be able to comfort Sand or express himself in that moment, so just says ‘Happy Birthday’ as it’s now after 1 am. What a way to start the day 😭

Speaking of Ray. He was never going to win to be honest when he said he and Sand were just friends. Granted they’ve been all touchy-feely, and flirty (Ray has been that way from the start - ‘light it for me’) but we’re not aware of them discussing anything beyond the initial ‘friends’ agreement. We don’t know if they’ve had sex again, if Sand had kept to his one time rule. I would assume so. Is it just kissing and making each other feel good? Or has it mostly been Ray going round, drinking, and passing out? At first, when Sand said about Ray wanting to hang with him again I thought he was referencing the music store date and Ray driving him about that day. But when they were getting wasted, he did say any more than this and he would have to start charging rent, which implies Ray’s been hanging out and staying over a few times, probably not wanting to be at home, alone, drowning his sorrows in the bathtub every night. If they’ve been in each other’s company that much, I can understand Sand getting ideas in his head.

But what was Ray supposed to do? Go against what he still considered Sand’s wishes? Friends was what was agreed. Even this episode, regarding his birthday Sand said, “Who are you to think you need to know.” Granted, he’s expressed stuff to his mum and it’s written on his face (especially for the audience) that he does think more about Ray. But as far as Ray’s concerned Sand’s drawn, and keeps redrawing, the line at friends, very flirty friends, but friends nonetheless, and are far from declaring themselves boyfriends (I suppose he could have added they were friends who’d had sex and hang out and Sand likes sticking his hand in his pants… yeah maybe not). It hurts that Sand was hurt by what Ray said, but I can’t really blame Ray for choosing to say they’re friends. If one or both are feeling a way about their ‘friends’ label, they really need to have a proper talk. And soon. Sand saying, ‘It’s nothing to do with him’ and that he’s not special hurt him, Ray and ME!! And next ep we probably get the “What are we to each other?” argument. *Takes a breath* If Boston hadn’t interfered maybe they could have started to figure something out. But nope, he stole away any progress they’d been making, at least for now.

Extra random Ray and Sand things.

1. Sand has some interesting t-shirts. I liked the Home Alone one he had on when cooking breakfast.

2. Ray saying he’s no Bruce Wayne *eyes dead parents* I mean, Ray’s halfway there. Oops 🫢

3. I actually think Ray (Khaotung) suited the tighter fitting t-shirts. The yellow actually looked good, but gotta say that bold pink one… nice.

4. Sand’s mum is an angel (a loud, crazy, pretending to be in trouble to surprise her baby boy for his birthday angel) She’s so friendly and would love for her to dote on Ray a little. BL gods please protect her.

5. That cookie eating scene in the party montage 🫠

6. Yo is a queen and deserves to be treated as such.

Okay. It was quite a Ray and Sand heavy episode so not sure I have as much to waffle on about for the others but here we go. Top and Mew next. I just… why does their relationship fill me with so much anxiety? Taken as stand alone encounters, they’re actually super cute. The little dates this episode were really nice. A cute little bike ride and Mew snuggling up to Top’s arm. Like, they have some really sweet moments… BUT… I just can’t get over the small controlling aspects within it. Like this episode Top continues to trouble me with first saying about swapping the project to his hotel, the small dig at Ray and Boston over their parts in the project, then the LASIK thing (and the fact Mew appears to have gone through with it based on the preview.) The blind dating restaurant, I mean it sounds a really cool idea, but again it put Mew in a vulnerable place. I mean Mew was literally in the dark this time rather than figuratively over the fact Top slept with Boston. Ponders. Am I supposed to feel this way? Is it just because I know more than Mew does? They just leave me uneasy.

So, Mew decided to sleep with Top. I’m a bit sad he had feelings that he had to, though I do think he’d maybe reached a point regardless where he had fallen for Top enough and built enough trust to want to do it. I had wondered if the attention Top was getting from other men was in part Mew’s paranoia, though it might have been happening, whether his imagination was heightened by that fear Top might get bored. Despite the uneasiness I get from them, I do believe there are genuine feelings between the two of them. Mew was looking so enamoured in the end section of the date, but again, was the way that Top was behaving just part of Mew’s imagination. From paranoia to embellishing the romance of the moment?

The fact Mew phoned Boston though? 💀If not for last episode he probably would have called Ray, but as it was Boston was the next bestie in line. I can’t blame him for calling, there’s no reason for him to think Boston is anything but a friend. We don’t know how long they’ve been friends. They’ve been together 4 yrs via the uni course, but did any of them know each other beforehand? Anything Boston has done that we know of against Mew has been behind the scenes. And him sleeping with multiple partners isn’t what makes him a bad person. Also he is the one who introduced Top into the group, the first to voice his ‘concern’ about Top’s track record, and he’d certainly be the one to encourage Mew, and support what Mew had pretty much already decided.

The build up was again a sweet moment, I liked the clumsy knocking of Mew’s legs on the couch *side eyes the fucking huge bed* and I’m glad Top went slow and treated Mew well. And they’ve exchanged ‘I love yous’ so everything will hurt that little bit more when shit hits the fan. I can’t wait lol.

And then we have Nick and Boston. I can’t decide if I should be sad for Nick or a little bit scared of him. I do feel for him thinking that if he changes himself into a Top clone, he’ll maybe get Boston to want him more. But also, like if this was a horror movie I feel like it’d be going the direction of Nick actually becoming Top and taking over his life lol. I did wonder if it was more for revenge purposes, make himself more appealing, lure Boston in and then get revenge, but it seems he’s still as infatuated as ever and I do feel bad for him. Despite his questionable actions, there is something sympathetic about Nick. Well, apart from the fact he keeps walking in and interrupting Ray and Sand’s quality time lol. God damn it, Nick.

The pool scene. I don’t know what Boston is playing at. Part of me is suspicious of whether he’s found the wiretap in his car already (I mean dropping that mention of someone with a video is a bit of a coincidence) so he’s doting on Nick a little more than usual, or is it a kind of rebound thing? So Top’s discarded him but at least Nick is sticking around. Or is he being genuine and he’s looking for a change? Boston, genuine? Hmmm. Seriously, this show gives me trust issues lol especially regarding Top, Nick and Boston’s characters. The other three, I feel they’re more straightforward and as of yet haven’t been shown to do anything with malicious intent. Ray fucks up but his intentions aren’t from a bad place. Everybody looking at each other at the pool though… Top having some weird look of disgust/unease while looking at Boston with Nick, Boston looking back at him, Nick watching Boston, and Mew in his own happy world where Nick is nice and cute and he and Boston should definitely date. What a mess.

As soon as Boston hung up the call from Mew we knew he was pissed. I’m proud of him being able to keep up his performance on the phone to Mew. Boston likes sex, has been advocating for Mew to lose his virginity, so there was no way Mew would expect him to say anything but go for it. Boston - Safe sex ambassador. There’s probably a part of him hoping Top does fuck Mew and dump him, but I believe what Top keeps telling Boston about being interested in Mew beyond that, and think Boston believes it too. From here it was a series of unfortunate events. Because of the call he sticks to Nick for longer and then bumps into Ray and then all hell breaks loose. The way Boston was watching Ray and Sand… I really want to know if there is a reason behind Boston seemingly not wanting to see either of his friends happy. Or is it really just the fact he’s an asshole? Not everybody has some deep meaningful backstory. Some people are just assholes. He was mad Top rejected him, mad Mew and Top were going to have sex and he took it out on Ray? Saw an easy target, maybe thought he could blame it all on alcohol and drugs in the morning? And Sand was collateral damage?

I kinda want there to be something more, like is it Mew or Ray or both he maybe has a problem with? When Top was complimenting Mew and calling him cute in glasses all the way back in episode 1, Boston’s eyes were on Ray and how he reacted. He poked at him by calling him a burden. Was he after fucking Top to mess with Mew in order to mess with Ray? It’s been 2 years since the kiss, no idea what’s been going on since then, but for Boston still to be in the friends group he couldn’t have done anything to the degree he did this episode, and certainly not this direct. Though I guess maybe he could have around Ray, as who’s to say Ray would even remember anything that went down if he got himself blackout drunk like he did in episode 1. Also some of what he said. Why is he so obsessed with the idea Mew and Ray slept together? He keeps saying it like it’s a fact. But I don’t see why Mew’s flashback would be a lie. So I can’t see anything having happened between them after Mew rejected Ray. And then Boston mentioning ‘two-timing’. Is that in reference to anything in particular, or just a way to say loving Mew but dating Sand would be equivalent to cheating/two-timing? And asking why Ray was getting angry??? Dude, you just ruined his night, brought up Mew, told him you took photos of a not traumatic, but a personal and vulnerable moment, and were ‘keeping track’ of him, said him and Mew slept together, and everybody’s emotions were heightened because of drink and drug cookies. Still in love or not, I’d be pissed off too. *Deep breath* It’s fine. Everything will be fine… totally fine… Right?

Random things.

1. Sand telling Boston (and Nick) to go to their room. I love Sand.

2. Nick, come on baby. Everybody be telling you Boston is trash. I know you think you love him but, you know, maybe it’s time to take a hint.

3. Boston, you little shit. It’s a good job you’re entertaining and the whole point of this show is about messy relationships lol.

4. Drake’s character is back?! Why do I get this weird feeling Nick’s gonna go along with something he doesn’t really want to… threesome??

5. Very 6 mains heavy this ep, so hoping to get a bit more of some of the side characters next week at uni and Mew’s party. Though if I’m honest, I was so engrossed in the main boys I didn’t miss them. I’m sorry okay lol.

6. Shit is going down next episode. Am I ready to see Ray getting punched by who up to now has been his one shining light in his shitty life? No 😭

Right, I need to stop lol. I was going off in all directions lol. It’s so hard to believe we’re coming up to the halfway point with next episode. So much has already happened.

Thank you if you read all that.

Can’t wait to see what’s next.

Previous rambles

Episode 4

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

[lulubelle814]

Just Dizziness - Chapter 23

Tom’s POV

Her waking up for a few minutes about two nights ago felt like a dream, but the doctors have since assured me it was not, going as far as showing me the data with timestamps saying she truly was awake.  They recommended that I continue to read and sing more to her as the doctors show that she has more active brain rhythms.  The hope, also, is that it may help her to wake up.

I’ve been reading a number of things to her from poetry to the book my mum brought, Lemony Snicket’s Beatrice Letters, one of which felt extremely fitting.  I sense she brought it for that purpose specifically.  While mum was here, she talked to her for a bit, telling her about our wedding.  It was lovely hearing it told by her.

I’ve even been singing some of her favorite songs, telling her some of my favorite memories, especially some of our early dates such as when we randomly found each other during my run at the park that went from there to breakfast, to an amazing walk, back to the park for a picnic that ended with dancing in the rain.  If she wakes up……….no, WHEN she wakes up, I will make sure to create another amazing date like that, one that will blow that out of the water.  She deserves nothing less than that.

The only unsuccessful venture attempted was playing a bit of guitar.  I tried it a couple of times, but the doctors said they couldn’t see any evidence that it was getting a response, but talking or singing to her was having at least some positive effect.  They believe it’s why she started having waking episodes.

Mum came by again yesterday to check on us and see how she’s holding up.  She’s been a lifesaver, taking care of Bobby, bringing a change of clothes.  Emma and Sarah have been helping with Bobby as well and checking in on our place.  They’ve been trying to tag-team to get me to go home for a night or two here or there, but I've told them that wherever my wife is, that’s where I will be.  

At least until last night.  Mum practically dragged me out of the hospital by my ear and made me walk outside around the hospital.  

“She would want you to get some fresh air, and opening a window doesn’t count, Thomas.  If it makes you feel better, you can change shirts and leave that one with her.  That way part of you will be with her while you are outside looking at the bloomin’ sky for 15 minutes.”

Mum was a hard person to say no to.  So that’s what I did.  I changed into a black t-shirt, threw on a sweatshirt, and placed my blue sweater next to my wife.  After asking the nurse to let me know if there are any changes, even something minor, mum practically dragged me to the hospital garden for a walk-a-bout.  After about 10 minutes, I couldn’t stand being away any longer, and she finally let me go back.  When I got back to her room, she had moved a little, but the shocking part was not only had she moved, but she was now wearing the blue sweater I left for her.

“I was just about to call you.  There was a slight change in the monitor, but it didn’t last for long.  We just found it.”  I couldn’t be cross with the nurse.  My wife was wearing my sweater, and it gave me hope, or was someone playing a horrible joke on me?

“Did anyone come in or out of here?  No one moved her or put that on her?”

The nurse looked over.  “No sir.  No one has been in here since you and your mum left a few minutes ago.  The only thing that’s changed is that variance on the monitor.  The doctor will be able to tell you more when he’s back  tomorrow.”  Relief washed over me.  Hope.  This is definitely hope, and I prayed that she would wake up soon.  It’s been about three weeks since the doctors sorted out the issue.  They brought in a specialist, Dr. Shepherd, for the surgery, and he assured me that her brain activity looked very promising.

I’ve tried to help make this room as comfortable and homey as possible.  My mum and sisters have helped bring pictures, clothes, and blankets from home.  Friends have continued to visit as often as they can.  Benedict even snuck in Bobby a couple of weeks ago, though I suspect the nursing staff turned a blind eye when he flirted with them while Bobby cuddled on the bed with her.  It’s not hard to tell he’s been missing her almost as much as I have.  Bobby started to cry when it was time to leave, but the nurse at the station let us know that as long as we kept it quiet, we could continue sneaking Bobby in here to visit.  So he’s been a regular visitor as often as Ben could bring him when his schedule permitted it.

I couldn’t help but admire her, asleep and wearing my sweater.  For a moment, it looked like she moved, maybe flinched?  I moved closer, keeping watching, but nothing happened.  Suddenly, it happened again followed by what sounded like a sniffle.  Without further hesitation, I ran and enfolded her in my arms, my shirt quickly being soaked in tears.

Chapter 24

[severingt]

Pauls Birthday Card 02/10/24

Hey, mate

First of all, Happy fucking Birthday. What a cunt it is being old, and I’m nearer the finishing line than you are.

So, what to talk about? Billy No Mates, you gotta hear their record, CACTI, it’s just right there. You can hear it on YouTube and then there’s Gina Birch, I play my bass loud, again on YouTube.

I hope you’re well? I know you were run off your feet last time we made contact.

I miss you.

So, John has 3 kids, and works on the railway. James has epilepsy so doesn’t officially work. He’s married with 2 kids. Dad’s still going but looking drawn [whatever that is]. Pete has turned into the architype grumpy/angry old man. He talks at me for an hour or so regularly.

Johns mum, Lesley, died last year. Alone in a flat in Gosport. Apparently fell out with the rest of the family over money after her mother died. I felt shock but not sorrow. John inherited a Mercedes and a Brabus Smart car, so a bit of money but nothing to compare to being abandoned for 28 years

I got out of the UK last September. I found it very difficult to acclimatise after 5 years in Malta. I stuck with it purely for financial [pension] reasons and of course covid. The language can be an issue sometimes but we have Google Translate.

So, I live in Thailand, Pattaya, now and I can live a good life as the cost of living [and drinking] is much less than UK. It can get a bit lonely but it was lonely in the UK:

Steve Ratsey: Salisbury

You: Midlands ish

Pete: Just doesn’t go out

Russ: Portsmouth but so fucking boring

David Ede: London but wants to be home at 9pm

Kevin: Malta and now with an old sort so doesn’t need friends

Andy: In Sweden and married

Paul Naish: died

I started playing guitar again, well, I’m enjoying it. I got a second-hand Takamine acoustic [way out of my price range new]. Lovely guitar. I contributed to the Play Music on the Porch day this year. I played Ohh La La [Ronnie Lane]. 8 takes to get a reasonable shot and even then, I made a mistake which I thought I’d get away with but started giggling

I was talking to a guy in a bar and his mate had just died and during the conversation [about dying abroad] he told a story of another friend that died in Africa and got flown back to UK. Everything went well and when the family saw the coffin, they wanted to see the body. So, they opened it up. That was the mistake as science then took over. Climate played a part in what ensued which was ok till the lid came off. The heat of Africa gave way to the cold of Britain which was being contained by the confines of the coffin. The lid came off, the body expanded and finally exploded. Actually exploded. Rotten meat flew all over the place, all over the staff and all over the relatives. Well, tragic huh? I just laughed, couldn’t help it

Where has all the time gone? I know I wasted so much time in factories 2 x 7 years. Whilst others were furthering their careers, I was getting covered in oil every day. It’s what you do if you have a family and mortgage. Then the prison service, 14 years; some of which were productive. I did get a Degree in the end and that focused me on what I wanted to do. But having Prison Officer on my CV didn’t help a change of career into education. It took me 4 years of applications and interviews before Hammersmith gave me a chance

But let’s not get depressed. Oh, too late

Weed is legal here. Theres a bar at the end of the road called Henry’s that sells it. I drink there. One evening, I was in there talking to Reggie the owner and he gave me 2 joints. So eventually I lit one up and took 3 puffs. My memory is very sporadic after that till about 3 am.

I pissed myself, shat myself, my girlfriend had to clean me up. I threw up my body weight. I couldn’t control my arms or legs. Ambulance called, into A&E and 7,000 baht, about £160, ambulance back home. 3hrs later up and out by coach to BKK airport for a trip to Chiang Rai. I don’t know how I did it.

So, that’s about it, I guess. Quite entertaining and I hope you smiled.

I hope you get out for a beer or get some in to celebrate [?] your birthday

Take care mate and I’m sure we will have a drink before we both leave

Glenn

[castle-dominion]

7x5 meme is murder

the snappamatic episode liveblog

Ok so I have p much no time. I have a full time job now instead of part time plus school assignments to do. I'm just going thru the transcript while I have a free half hour instead of yk... doing my Menu Demographic assignment.

update: it's still several days later & I'm only now getting the chance to watch it, on my day off. Heck the only reason I'm able to watch it is bc even tho I had to go to two different schools today & my uncle usually comes over, mum & lil bro are gone & my uncle is not coming over so I can watch this in the evening. I... have less than two hours before I need to be asleep.

Music <3 I see nobody here. Lots of mirrors. Pretty gal. Love how we're getting only one side of the phone call. why is the number already blocked? it's her! She dead!

When I watch this I'm going to join in on the vocal warmups I swear (I did lol) my mom's shiny forehead Martha <3 I love her bouncing BTS stuff I love, hey do you remember-- no that was s8 when someone was filming the dead body in the theater place. Mo! (who even is mo?) (you know I named a character Miyawatam who goes sby the nickname mo) walks away from mom with "oh my god" face wait I need captions on lol & since I've pre-liveblogged this, I can watch while doing my mustard seeds!

Misleading. Ha on the downloa-d. Remember the bloopers? NF has to catch books over & over.

Good for castle! Minor blow to my ego! Ok becks but PLAYING yourself is different from BEING yourself. Ah the coffee clink! RC: It’s time I let technology wrap me in its warm, lucrative embrace. Me: Bro if it's warm ur battery is overheating transcript doesn't say how tall the building is (love castle & the unis)

SHE is a maintenance worker, good for her. nvm misread the transcript, maintenance FOUND her Esposito kinda pretty. Heehee so creepy. Julian & LT in the background <3 Ryan also pretty ig but meh RC: Well, so much for the warm embrace of technology. Why si it always a burner phone? I mean they are homicide detectvies so of course it is there... I just remembered how the killer got in. Anyway the dets get burner phones with more regularity than normal ppl. Did she get killed after hanging up on him & getting the text?

Ryan's eyes in this lighting Club Doom Small time celebrity sort of like how castle is a famous author but not easily recognizable. Wow 500k is a lot. My youtube only has 320 & mu tumblrs have way less. (btw carlos is kinda pretty) Oh maintenance celebrity was a comedian! Makes sense! not stalkers but u need followers

HOLD ON I KNOW AN EDWARD HAN IRL. he is NOT an acupuncturist, at least he wasn't in jr high... RC: And who better than an acupuncturist to kill with accurate punctures? Perhaps with a giant needle. JE, who is rly pretty: I don’t get it. Posting dumbass photos all over the place? How does she have a fan base? How did this become a career? Me: so right bestie *liveblogging on tumblr* RC: Welcome to the sharing economy. JE: More like oversharing. Me: & it's worse when they share info abt random people on the street or prank them. At least Just For Laughs gags points out the cameras in the end & asks permission. KB: Really? And you’re opposed to all photos of oversharing women? *eyes emoji* JE: o-o JE: That’s … different. (funny but not clipping) (ryan said that making eye contact to beckett & everyone but also that deep eye contact with esposito)

Yeah she messed up Han's business I'm mad at her Ooh info: Abby said someone had been following her for the last month. But I didn’t track her down until a week ago. So the stalker couldn’t have been me. I don't have proof, that's your job

What's up with the lighting btw? KB: “The brightest stars burn quickest.” Me: we spark & fade they die by threes ooh wood varnish Pulls up a chair for someone (castle ig) The guy filming-- no that was castle's book. Mixing in my mind with the one in the future. lol Netslayer??? totally would have a better pfp imo

Like the cheese that the guy posted online that happened to have his finger that had his fingerprint that got him arrested

Heck yeah privacy! Oren Wilder: Look, no one is more upset about this than we are. KB: I bet Abby Smith was. Yay 10minmail Snappamatic stays a thing in future episodes, being associated with murder is not going to ruin it. Like those tiktokers who found a body in a suitcase. Metadata my beloathed What if the netslayer had his idea for snappamatic stolen by these two? Why would netslayer not scrub the metadata? JE: We already did. It’s a one man shop owned by one Bill Garrett. It turns out he used to be a cop until he had a nervous breakdown. And get this – he worked in the cyber division.

Ew guns. no vests tho.

Lol screw you & your fellow officer bs. You are to be treated just like any other human being. Even when u delete them they can be recovered, yes he knows that he was in cyber. He can't have killed her bc he wouldn't mess up like that. Bill Garrett doesn't go near the web unless he has to? mr cyber division? Also brings up a question. When did the police need to make a cyber division? (& then why does he have wifi at his shop?) BG: And I quit cyber because a frat boy date raped a girl, posted the photos online, and then got away with it, so I flipped out and I put him in the hospital. Me: so valid bestie

Ooh it's them! they're being stalked! Taunted! Serial killers taunting cops are always fun in media. So why... why did the netslayer show off instead of letting them arrest him & he'd get away with it? Oh wait I remember. He wants attention. I lovebeckett's face at the body parts

RC: Human Sausages... (makes sense for a serial killer)... in november...... (not so much) Except that mr cyber might be able to change his security system to say he has an alibi their NEXT murder or a murder they've done which u haven't found yet? Speaking of which, did he post the pics before or after the body was found? Huh, nov 12 is World Pneumonia Day. KR, annoyed: Yes castle we're also looking into that

I don't like the animations. I'd expect Tory to do more alt-tab back & forth between the cropped photo & the normal photo. In fact, let her do it several times & maybe one of the dets says "stop i'mma get nauseous" Food blogs my beloathed

Ooh german cuisine Hey 47 followers in a week is good!!

Maybe these are personal, not for the web-celeb. Go back to your first suspicion.

KR: But Leek’s pretty low on the Snappamatic totem pole. He only has about two thousand followers. Heck, my blog has more than that. First of all, "heck" is a good word, second, Let Me See Ryan's Blog! Like how bbc made john watson's blog! RC: U have a blog? KR: Yeah, yeah. The Ryan Report. It’s the musings of a homicide detective? The ryan report <3. Ok so the transcript says becks knows what he's talking abt but does she? does she read it? does she just know about it? I'm glad castle isn't reading it tho bc he'd make so many comments & corrections. (& watching it I see becks also looks surprised when ryan says his blog has over 2k followers) (Actually watching it I see becks makes hand gestures as if she knows abt the blog, meaning she knew abt it but not that it was over 2k followers or she was faking.) KR: Well … that’s going to be difficult. He’s at an art opening in Seattle. He doesn’t live in New York. Ok & one more thing abt the ryan report: is being a homicide detective his only personality trait? (I mean in early seasons he started reading castle books & then ofc he's also a parent, & it's revealed he took piano lessons & he'd open a winery if he won the lottery, but still, his blog is about homicide?) Castle shaking his hands when he figures it out, adhd moments

RC: Expiration date on spoiled milk. Plus grilled bratwurst equals … spoiled brats. (they don’t really follow) That’s the message. That’s what the images mean, leading us to … (off their lost looks) Seriously? Anyone here besides me a consumer of vapid online magazines? ESPOSITO, RYAN, and BECKETT all chorus “no”. CASTLE deflates. (but the way they say it is so... chill & small, I love them. not worth clipping tho. btw I love how far forward beckett's head is when listening & then she brings it back to normal good posture when she shakes her head. But maybe I should clip. But maybe I shouldn't.) Ok but weren't there 3 photos? Yeah body parts I DID IN FACT NOTICE THAT THE ARTICLE'S PHOTO WAS THE COLLAGE

Ok I should put this on hold *after eating second breakfast* Maybe I can just liveblog a little more...

Becks maybe she doesn't know abt the netslayer yet, it's been less than a day. Could have said "we have reason to believe that you are the target of an upcoming homicide" So she knows abt the netslayer obv, but abby had up to half the followers you did, which is a lot. (also, ryan's blog has 2k followers!?!? that is plenty!) she's awful. doesn't deserve to die but wow. Yeah it's hard when you go from mademoiselle to madam or miss to maam or senorita to senora. (but esposito's eyes when she said that lol) Bye bye! *man's dead*

hhh pushzoom So when did the netslayer kill cam if the cops were right there?

I always thought it was weird how they just have a tv up in the corner but they used it for the baby lottery & they don't just idk. tv is weird. she can pause it? remember the dead pool? the guy was a car thief? Or ambidextrous

Ok so the timing of it is an issue. It looks like they are still chill, but this was before they got on the scene.

First name

Hug <3 This is so early 2010s or whenever this show came out. Love anonymity. The cops just bought a 3d printer? I'd expect the guy to maybe use one at the library. Ryan looks so sweet. I love him look at that. Ok but u need to have it the right size. & orientation. The key is twisted to the wrong size. But ryan is sooo smart look at him! look at what he did! (also that key is possibly a 1284x) Castle uses the word outstanding now! (the killer didn't snap a pic, the vic posted a pic) mr rich castle man XD (beckett's voice this ep sounds like she grew up with a british or other european accent & is working to not have that accent but it is not rly working.)

Yeah u don't drive ur can in new york, it's for getting out of the city.

JE: So I’ve been running the people that rented Abby’s apartment. KB: Why would anyone let complete strangers stay in their place? TE: Extra money. KB & JE: TE: (sheepishly) After this I don’t think I’ll be doing it anymore. (yeah she's an underpaid "lowly tech worker" I don't think even a real cop. I have a friend who does work like that, or at least did, idk what happened after june 2020) So this guy has been planning this since Abby rented out her apartment. Carlos said she USED to rent out her place, now she doesn't.

Bill garrett, welcome back! Is it a fake beard or did he grow up & grow a beard?

Myspace XD Except I have a question, would he, if he's been this traumatized, not be super aware of where all the cameras are now? ig not Computer geek? My man has computer friends then.

how does he get paid then? Oh wait online stuff. that's how he paid for the 3d print job. JE: Hey, get this. I ran down Tim Witherspoon, Lane’s bully. Turns out, he’s dead. Unsolved homicide. He was stabbed in his apartment ten months ago. !!! RC: That’s right after Lane’s mother died. Maybe that’s what triggered him. He might still have the key, like when james gillies went to his childhood home & kidnapped someone

wow guns

her phone is in the velcro on her jacket?

Oren and Kent Wilder from Snappamatic, oh no. (they got kidnapped WHILE working with tthe police!?) This is hilarious, I read a fanfiction like this once. It was very typical fanfiction tho, I can't take this seriously.

It's like gofundme, a popularity contest where if you lose you die bc you can't afford ur medical bills. Becks is right, they both might. I mean, maybe if nobody voted nothing would happen. Hey here's a question: how are the votes connected to the machines? What if instead of finding the room, they stop the timer & the votes? Yeah sure u can track down snappamatic office photos OR you can find out where/when/how they were snatched & figure things out that way. (bro they can't even track the photos, remember?)

Adam Lane: What’s the expression? Three hots and a cot? (shrugs) Works for me. They probs can't send him there AL: It can’t be any worse than high school. he's .. maybe not that wrong? girl u'r not going down with manson & the zodiac. AL: I’m sick? (scoffs) Nobody had to follow me. No one has to vote for Kent or Oren. But they can’t help themselves. They want to be a part of it. They have to watch. So … who is really sick? He's not too far off there actually

I thought that garret would go in & talk to him

Ryan doing tech stuff, esposito walking around canvassing Well if the site crashed, nobody can vote so that's good. Maybe it disabled the timer & now they won't die. What if oren & kent just,, already died bc the system boot killed them? bc it is after all connected to the site & the votes...

AL: If you cops were capable of doing your jobs you’d know. there was a hint. He did spoiled brats... he left a hint somewhere else. & I think I remembered how it ends. {hs, right?} ew fakes electrocution, surprised me Becks u need to make it believable. Send Garrrett in. Or u can bully him becks. that... ok. He didn't exactly say they were to/g. *using description* tiled walls & stale air. Why so much description my man? BOTH fry wait, he also said the votes were irrelevant.

*jumps over the thing* Bro what if you just peel off the stickers? (except with only this many seconds left u might not want to touch the things) The countdown ends and an electrical box beeps. ESPOSITO reaches over and grabs a fistful of the wires and pulls them out. The wires spark, but they’re safe. Like castle & the bomb! for a sec I thought esposito went to hug him lol, but it was the duck tape on his mouth

I love seeing the whiteboard with the writing but no pics, it;s cool

The way he swings his arms

YAY THE RAGIN HEAT WEBMERCIAL I AM SO GLAD THIS IS ONLINE I'M NOT CLIPPING BC I CAN JUST LINK IT BUT HECKING CROWS I'M HAPPY.

Transcript: Hi, I’m Crichard Rastle Captions: Crichard Ratchel Me: so did he mess up saying his own name or was it youtube pooped together? I;M SO HAPPY THIS WAS DUMB & PPL DIDN'T ENJOY IT BUT I DID & I SING IT TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME. his face doing the boomerang thing RC: (horrified) A million people have seen that?

Great ending btw with just the "hi"

sdklsjdfljksj so that was fun. Can't wait for the bloopers I'll show you some good.

[oddaodd]

· I Don't Go In For Sweets ·

Request: by a lovely anon "set after the events of season 3. Tommy can't handle the company, he's still grieving and he has to be there for Charlie so Polly tells him she knows a girl from a good family to get married He ends up agreeing (aunt Pol can be very persuasive) but even though he's married, this new girl isn't considered as a wife. He doesn't really make any effort but his "wife" understands, he's a widowed father who lost his first wife only a year ago. However since they are...in this, she wants to make her time as enjoyable as possible for the both of them and for Charlie too. But no matter what Tommy makes it a point of honor to not let her in, to not let her replace Grace so he ignores her, he works more, tries to spend as little as possible in the house. Reader stays patient, it will be alright and Charlie is making her quite busy anyway. One night, Tommy comes home completely drunk and maybe a bit high too, he can't even make it to his office. Thankfully Reader is still awake, she takes care of him and Tommy just...melts at how gentle Reader is, he may be able to keep his distant while sober but it's much harder in his state. He admits to her how he's been feeling and all. Ever since that night, something changed, Tommy feels some comfort, some solace being around her, she accepts him wholly, even his flaws, the bad side of his business and she tries to provide some sort of safe place for when it gets too hard." (I edited the request because it was very long, but I kept all essential parts in there)

Author’s note: I loved loved loved writing this and it ended up being SUPER long, but I’m very happy with how it turned out. As always, I hope you like it and have the loveliest of days!

Warnings: season 3 SPOILERS sort of, but not really, still read at your own risk. Arranged marriage, mentions of alcohol and drugs, angst.

·

“Thomas, you may not be able to see it, but you’re breaking apart” Polly spoke with a sigh as she lit a cigarette after everyone was dismissed from a family meeting.

Everyone had left Tommy’s office in arrow house rather gaily after receiving their fair compensations for partaking in the whole Russian ordeal, all except Polly, who remained where she sat, wishing for a word with her nephew

Tommy merely scoffed at her concern before lighting his own cigarette and taking a puff “I’ll be alright”

“And Charlie?” Pol pressed knowing Tommy’s mourning was not only affecting him, but Charlie as well. “What about him?”

“He’s fine” He said before turning around to look through the window, ignoring his Aunt’s heavy stare.

“You take too much after your mother” she sighed half angry half sad “she too loved pretending everything was alright and I don’t need to remind you where that lead her”

Tommy sighed deeply, he knew he could fool anyone. Anyone but Polly. “We’ll manage”

“Consider my offer” Polly said standing up and making her way to the door “Y/n is a good girl from a good family” she persuaded before leaving the room.

Tommy sighed at his Aunt’s words, he wasn’t ready to get married again even when he knew the woman he would be marrying was a nice one. He felt like he was spitting on Grace’s grave and he hated himself for even considering the prospect, but he knew a mother figure would be good for Charlie.

He spent the rest of the day pondering about Polly’s suggestion and remembering his own childhood in the shadow of the absent tortured presence that his mother had been. It didn’t take him long to decide he didn’t want that for Charlie, so that same night he phoned Polly.

“I’ll do it” was all he said before hanging up. There was no need for more words, Polly would know exactly what he meant.

Exactly a week later, Tom was standing in the altar of a church that was significantly smaller than the one from his first wedding. The fact that everything about this wedding was so obscenely different from his first did soothe his guilt a bit. And as he stood there he couldn’t keep his mind from traveling to the days leading up to his wedding to Grace. She had made sure everything was perfect and had made an effort to invite every single relative she could think of. She remembered her rambling on an on about fabrics, insisting that everything ought to be perfect when he in all honestly couldn’t care less, he just wanted to marry her.

All his thoughts vanished away with a poof when Y/n came into sight. And what a sight she was. She had insisted on doing her own makeup and on pinning flowers to her hair to compliment her headpiece and her elegant, yet simple white dress flowed almost mystically as her father gave her away. She had never imagined she would be marrying someone she didn’t know, but she wanted to look her best for getting married is not something people do everyday.

When she stood in the altar, she offered her to be husband a smile which he did not return, instead turning his attention to the priest before them. She mirrored his actions, her heart beating violently under her chest as the priest began speaking.

It all felt like a blur, she could swear it had only been a second since her father had given her away and yet, the priest had already uttered the dreaded “you may now kiss the bride”

Tommy barely brushed his lips against hers and soon the sound of everyone clapping invaded her ears. They had a small party afterwards in Y/n’s former house. Her parents had invited pretty much all of their acquaintances while tommy had only invited his close relatives.

When night fell Tommy was more than ready to leave “Are you ready to go?” was one of the few sentences he uttered to his now wife that night.

She again offered him a smile before saying “yeah just let me say goodbye”

The drive to arrow house was tense, although Y/n didn’t know Thomas very well she would tell he was unhappy. She wondered about what to say to him, but couldn’t come up with anything good enough and soon enough they were pulling over in front of Tommy’s stately home.

“Charlie must already be asleep, but I'll introduce you tomorrow” he said opening Y/n’s door for her.

“It’s alright” she said looking at him, not quite knowing what to do next.

“Your parents sent some of your belongings, I've already asked the maids to take them up to your-our room” he said

“Thank you, Thomas” she smiled as she walked into the big house not yet feeling close enough to him to call him Tommy.

His name falling from her lips caused an echo of bittersweet emotions to stir inside him but he masked it perfectly well as she introduced Y/n to the maids that went to the door to take their coats.

“Frances here will show you the way to the room” he said after having made introductions.

“This way, Mrs” Frances politely said.

Y/n began following her but stopped when she didn’t hear Tommy’s footsteps behind her own.

“Are you not coming?” she asked turning to look at him.

“Maybe in a bit” was all he said before he walked away down one of the many spacious hallways of the house.

After Y/n made herself comfortable in the room and changed into her nightgown she took the time to peek around the room like one always does when one is a strange place. After familiarizing herself with it she laid down in the big bed. She was nervous, she knew what happened on wedding nights. A small chuckle stopped at her lips when she recalled the stories her close already married girlfriends told her. If she hadn’t married a complete stranger she too would be looking forward to it.

Her thoughts ended up luring her to sleep after a while despite her nerves and the night went by in a ridiculously fast flash. The next morning she woke up alone and after getting ready she made her way downstairs. Tommy and Charlie were already in the dining room when she entered it.

“good morning” she said

Charlie immediately turned his attention to her, his eyes widening while his dad merely glanced at her while he muttered a “Good morning “ of his own.

Y/n sat down next to Tommy while he cleared his throat “charles, this is Y/n. We got married yesterday so she’ll be living with us from now on”

Charlie merely nodded in understanding before playing around with his food.

A tense air flooded breakfast until Tommy stood up, having barely touched his food and spoke turning to look at Y/n “I have to go now, if you need anything feel free to ask Frances”

“Alright” Y/n replied feeling a bit disappointed, she would love to get to know him, but she already knew it was going to be difficult.

“I have to go too” Charlie announced in a timid voice, interrupting Y/n’s thoughts. Despite her disappointment she understood, maybe he was just shy and his dad just reticent. They had lost a wife and a mother after all.

The first few days after that, Charlie avoided her nearly as much as his father did and Y/n remained in lonely patience until one night Charlie’s cries interrupted her focus on the book that she had just bought. She rushed to his room and called out his name as she entered not knowing if the boy would be comfortable with her or not.

“What is it?” she asked worried as she knelt by his bed.

“I miss my mum” the boy confessed looking at her with teary eyes as he clutched his blanket.

Y/n felt her heart give a small ache at his confession and in an attempt to comfort him she spoke “She’s not really gone, you know?”

“She’s dead” the boy sobbed.

“but people who die, don’t leave us. Not really anyhow” she said hesitantly rubbing his arm. “just because we cant see them doesn’t mean they are not here”

“I miss seeing her” he continued.

“Oh but you can still see her”

“how”

“before you go to bed just think about her, then she’ll visit you in your dreams” Y/n spoke as if she was telling a fairy tale.

“really?” the boy’s eyes widened.

“really” Y/n confirmed “But you have to think really really hard”

“I’ll try�� Charlie said having calmed down a bit.

“very well” Y/n said as she stood up, but Charlie’s voice stopped her.

“can you stay till I fall asleep?”

After that night, Charlie hardly left Y/n’s side and she felt much better with his company for she was sure if he wasn’t there keeping her on her toes all day she would fall into a depressive chasm induced by her husband’s absence.

On the rare moments he was home she tried to strike up conversation with him over breakfast or late at night when he came home and she was burdened by insomnia. But Tommy only humored her with a few short responses before excusing himself or turning to face the other side of the bed.

It wasn’t only the fact that he avoided her as much as he could, but he also made it a priority to exclude her at all times. She was never invited into family meetings or night’s at The Garrison so she thought it was a miracle when tommy didn’t oppose to her planning Charlie’s birthday party.

She invited only Tommy’s family which instantly warmed up to her, noticing what a good influence she was and Polly wanted to slap Thomas for the way he had been acting throughout his marriage to Y/n. Almost feeling guilty for getting her into this mess.

When the party ended Tommy shut himself in his office like he often did when he was at home and though he had never given Y/n a reason to believe she was welcome in there of all places, she found herself allowing herself in after putting Charlie to bed.

Tommy looked up as she entered and let out a sigh before turning his attention back to some papers he had been reading.

“I noticed you didn’t have any” she commented not letting his sigh deflate her as she laid a plate with a slice of homemade chocolate cake on his desk. “it’s really good if I may say so myself” she mused sitting down in a chair opposite to his as she dug in with a fork in her own slice.

“I don’t go in for sweets” he stated.

“Not even chocolate?” Y/n tried, but tommy didn’t answer, instead he just shook his head.

“I still think you should try it, it’s not overly sweet, and…”

“is there anything you need?” he interrupted bluntly a bit harsher than he would’ve liked.

His tone caught her off guard and when she couldn’t come up with an answer tommy again turned his attention back to his papers.

“I wish you could let me in” She softly confessed after a few tense seconds.

“Well I wish we hadn’t married but I guess things don’t always go the way we want them to go”

Tommy knew he had crossed a line by the silence that again settled into the room. He looked up at Y/n with her parted lips and misty eyes. They exchanged glances for a second but instead of allowing him to see her like that any longer, she stood up setting her plate on his desk and walked away, only allowing a few tears to drop by when she was out of the room and his sight.

After that she stopped trying to get closer to him. He still loved his late wife and she understood, people in grief never mean what they say after all, but his words stung nonetheless.

She stopped trying to wait for him at night to see if he had gotten home alright and during breakfast she only uttered polite good mornings.

One night however, Y/n was yanked out of a peaceful sleep by a loud crash. She was on her feet in no time and after checking into Charlie’s room to see if he was alright she cautiously ventured downstairs. A few incoherent mumbles filled her ears before her husband came into sight, fumbling with his coat to get it off.

“need help?” she asked earning his attention.

“I’m fine” he said finally taking it off but as he went to take a step to begin walking the floor under him moved and he lost his balance, his knees crashing loudly against the wooden floor.

Y/n offered him a hand and helped him up. He smelled of whiskey and cigarettes, his hands were shaky, consequence of the snow, no doubt. “let’s get you upstairs”

“I can do it on me own” he slurred letting go of her hand.

“stop being so stubborn” she derided, snaking one of her arms around his waist as she helped him upstairs.

Y/n helped him into bed, tookoff his shoes and went to the bathroom to fetch a small towel and some cold water.

She dampened the towel with the cold water before dabing it gently on Tommy’s forehead. His eyes never leaving her face as she did so, making her grow a bit nervous. She continued, trying her best to ignore it until she felt his hand softly caressing her cheek.

“You are beautiful” he rasped.

“Stop it, Thomas” she said feeling her cheeks grow red when she felt a bit sad that he had to be completely drunk to compliment her.

Even in his drunken state he seemed to notice he was making her uncomfortable so he held his tongue until Y/n laid in bed next to him after turning on the lights.

“I’m sorry” he interrupted the silence “For the way I’ve been acting” the whiskey and cocaine making him more vulnerable and open “I guess I was afraid that if I let you in then she would disappear”

He didn’t expect her to answer, but then her voice came in a soft exhausted tone“ I don’t intend to replace her. You don’t need to act all defensive and secretive. Even if it’s not what you wanted, we are married.”

“I Know” was all he said.

Y/n expected him to withdraw more from her after showing himself that vulnerable to her that night but she was wrong. He began arriving home earlier, sometimes even asking if he could come along on the walks she and Charlie so much adored going on. And Y/n finally felt her marriage was going somewhere maybe it wasn’t based on love yet, but it was something.

One day she was at the stables while Charlie was taking a nap. She had always adored horses.

“I didn’t know you liked horses” came Tommy’s smooth voice causing her to jump.

“You never asked” she smiled petting a black horse as he walked closer to her.

“We could go out for a ride, I’m sure Charlie wouldn’t mind letting you borrow his horse” Tommy offered as he too began to pet the horse, his fingers brushing against Y/n’s for a brief second.

“I’d love to, but I am afraid I don’t know how to ride, Tommy” she said, panicking for a second after having called him that. But she rested assured as soon as he spoke again.

“Well that can be fixed” he said opening the door of the stall and guiding the horse outside.

“You mean now?” Y/n asked with a laugh.

“Got something better to do?” he asked walking out of the stable with the horse. Y/n observed tommy as he prepared the horse. She had never seen him so gentle and calm before and she only realized she had been staring when Tommy directed his attention to her to ask her if she was ready.

“I think so” she said going to stand next to the horse wondering how the hell to climb up. But before she had any more time to think she felt Tommy’s hands on her waist giving her a push that allowed her to pull herself up on the animal. It was a good thing she had chosen to wear slacks that day, she thought.

“Goodness this is high” she said nervously looking down at Tommy when he began guiding the horse to move in a slow walk.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall” he promised repressing a mirthful tone at her nervousness.

He guided the horse with her around the property in the crisp evening air and Y/n allowed herself to relax with every step the horse took. Tommy’s presence made her feel safe and protected and she found it increasingly harder to look away from his figure. She wondered if he could feel her eyes on him.

When the sky began turning soft shades of purple and orange the pair returned to the stables. When the time came from Y/n to come down from the horse, tommy helped her again. Y/n began to love the feeling of him touching her and when her feet touched the ground in front of Thomas, he didn’t remove his hands from her waist right away and instead fixed his blue eyes on her, not wanting to stop looking at her.

She too fixed her eyes on Tommy as she felt a silent gasp in the base of her throat. That was the way she would’ve liked him to look at her on their wedding day. Tommy then leaned in, almost as if he were asking for permission before he tenderly pressed his lips to Y/n’s.

·

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy @writeroutoftime @babylooneytoonz @slytherinicequeen @lilymurphy03

[chemicalpink]

Young Gods ❈ KNJ, JJK

❈ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook

❈ Genre: smut, f2l kinda, but also s2l, fantasy!au, fluff if you squint, gods!au, wizard/witch!au

➛ Part of the Namkook Moonrise Masquerade hosted by @jamaisjoons

❈ Rating: 18+

❈ Wordcount: 4.2k

❈ Warnings: it is jungkook centric, it does have a somewhat heavy plot, double penetrative sex, magical sex, teasing, slightest corruption kink.

❈ Summary: Legend has it that if you were to walk all the way up to Hallasan, and if the land is welcoming enough, you should be able to see the most beautiful lake where it is rumoured to home the most powerful being the world has ever had the pleasure to meet, so when young warlock Jungkook starts having trouble with his magic, who could blame him for travelling all the way there in hopes of finding answers only to be met with the hottest man he’s ever seen. and really,  who could blame him for fostering the biggest crush on him without saying a word for ages? that is, until y/n, a long lost friend of Namjoon shows up. so really, who is he to blame if he lets the two greatest beings in existence use him for their pleasure?

❈A/N: SHE'S HERE. GOD THIS TOOK A WHILE. Please enjoy! ALSO, banner by @jamaisjoons, I do believe the only thing that keep me writing this was the banner lol. Do tell your thoughts on this bad baby, I was heading towards a larger fic but I didn't have time yet magical au is most definitely there for future fics.

The first time Jungkook realised just how powerful he was, he was fifteen years old, although his mother can recall him being around four and being able to master a potion that most common-born non-royal witches could only hope to get mediocre at once trained at their young twenties. Of course, his magic had soon become taboo around the village, having to hide himself behind years of his father’s training, his lineage a bit closer to royalty, not quite, but just enough for his son’s magic to pass as his own. If his customers notice how better his spell jars or potions get once Jungkook turns eighteen, they sure don’t comment on it. Not that they would be able to tell that the family was hiding a master of the magical arts that could rival the country’s most powerful witch in the blink of an eye. Those were just rumours going around, as far as the Jeon’s were concerned.

“Son, I believe it is about time you get some proper practice on your magic” his father mentioned bypassing one Sunday night as they both locked up the store. He turned to hi, somewhat confused.

“Look if this is about Seojun noona’s elixir being more powerful than it usually is I swear it was a rightful mixture, my trial was right beside her actual one and she entered the shop sooner and-”

His dad shakes a hand dismissively at him, rounding the counter into the small storage room, coming back in sight with a leather-bound book in between his hands, calloused fingers roaming the antique-looking pages “I am not quite sure how much truth an old man like your grandfather could hold, but it wouldn’t hurt to try” he turned the yellowing book towards him, fast and almost undescribable scribbles decorating the paper as he squinted down at it, his father handling the energy in it to make the content quite literally come to life, a storytelling spell all too familiar to him from his young age.

“Dad, you know I absolutely love bedtime stories, but I’d say I’m quite a bit too old now for-” before he can even think about finishing the sentence, a mountain comes into view, alive straight from the book’s pages, standing tall and proud dressed in green, almost touching the sky, a magical aura surrounding it, one that he could even feel just by looking at it “What’s that?”

“The old man used to tell me stories about an ancient being, the most powerful of them all, living on top of Hallasan” the pages turn by themselves, the image changing to a faceless man, standing almost as tall and proud as the mountain itself, performing all types of magic, some of them Jungkook himself hadn’t even heard of “Legend says he was outcasted by royalty in fear of revolution, wouldn’t even be alive if it weren’t for he is a child of Earth herself”

“I-I don’t think I’m following”

His father sighs loudly before his magic shuts the book closed, all magic gone on a whim “Jungkook, whatever this man was, if my father was right and he really did exist, you might be like him”

“But-but I was born of both you and mum” he couldn’t quite yet fathom the extension of his own magic, much less think about the probability of being more powerful than any other being that had walked the Earth in millennia. Even if the man was real, would he even be alive still? If he was as powerful as he was presumed to be, would he even take Jungkook under his wing? What if he wasn’t as lucky as the man from the book and word got out and his life was endangered?

“Jungkook just think about it, you might be a child of the Earth”

“What if I don’t want to be” he couldn’t quite face his father, feeling his own heartbreak as the older man deflated. Jungkook knew that perhaps his dad had entertained the idea of his only son being a creature out of a legendary book, could feel how proud it would make him, for Jungkook to be a hero, make history with the power he presumably held within, yet he couldn’t help but feel like a small child again, afraid at the uncertainty that the future could hold. “I- I’m good with just running the shop and helping you and mother out with stuff”

His father sighed before placing a gentle hand on his shoulders, a small act that made him feel even more like a child, one getting subtly scolded by his parents as they prepare him for his inevitable future. “Jungkook-ah, your mother and I- all we really want for you is to live your own life”

His ears perk up, gaze facing forward as he catches his mother standing with her arms crossed over her body, the softest motherly look on her face “And if that means for my baby to go find himself at some faraway place, then so be it” she comes to join his father by his side, both of them bracing each other as the thought of their child growing up simmers down on them. “We just want you to grow up to your full potential Kookie”

.-.-

It had taken quite some convincing for him to completely make up his mind, the negging looks from his father as he helped around the shop, the longing yet scolding gaze his mother held over dinner until he found himself preparing a small bag for the long trip– almost burning inside his mind the map contained in his grandfather’s grimoire from the many times he had read over what he once thought to be a legend out of a children’s storybook.

The trip itself wasn’t as difficult as it was troublesome, having to hike up the highest mountain in the land, the difficult part–if the Jeon’s memories were anything to go by– was having the Hallassan land spirit to like you enough to show itself, even a step further to have the legendary witch to show his home.

For quite some time Jungkook entertained the idea of the immense possibilities on how the wizard could look, every possible image popping up in his head some variation of a wrinkly old man hunched over himself, staff in hand and he couldn’t help but laugh soundly at it, picturing himself getting nagged at by such a figure, perhaps he would end up looking like one of those old scholars that came to his village from time to time. But how wrong was he.

It took him three days, two cold sleepless nights in the woods and running in circles for at least two hours in the nothingness that was the top of the mountain for the valley to show up right where he had started to venture– he could almost hear the forest spirits snickering at him. He really tried to be angry at it, almost went back down just out of spite, yet the clearing before him had him doing a double-take, the space was bright and clear, none of the trees from before on sight, the small dipping in the middle of it leading to a sort of entrance– this was what he came for.

Jungkook had been raised better than what he found himself doing– walking into a stranger’s house uninvited. Was it really uninvited if after knocking for a few minutes the door opened on its own?

He walks inside, small steps, unsure of himself, his past resolve crumbling down completely as he walks further in where he listens to a hushed voice coming from his left, a mop of silvery hair turned away from him, green warm clothes cradling the figure, Jungkook entertains the idea of an old man still, yet not so much hunched over himself if the deep hushed voice and the hair colour was anything to go by. “...Now where did I last see-”

"Hello-"

"Oh! great timing! the pay is where it always is" broad shoulders are still facing him as the man moved around, a couple of won bills on the counter where he had waved his hand dismissively, not even bothering to turn around, for a legendary creature perhaps leaving his home door open was a recurrent thing, what with the whole clearing hidden from the public eye and all.

"Oh I'm not-" he had tried to make himself knows as definitely not the person he was expecting yet the man kept mumbling to himself, apparently in deep thought at whatever it was

""—So then if we are able to move this around we should -" he had started moving around the room, still not facing Jungkook directly, just pointing to places around the spacious room as his free hand busied itself with picking books from the humongous shelf against the wall

"I'm- uh" his hands couldn’t be still, grasping at the bag over his shoulder, knuckles almost white as he clears his throat "I'm not-"

"Did you forget where-" the man turns around and Jungkook feels whatever little poise he had gained leave him in the spot, right in front of him is the most legendary creature in existence, recorded alive for millennia, a god in more ways than one, no old man in sight but the prettiest human he had laid eyes on, fierce sight set on him awkwardly hanging at the entrance as the man keeps blinking at him "uh"

He bows down almost instinctively, 90 degrees, hair falling onto his eyes as he does so "Mister sir- uh keeper of Hallasan"

"You aren't Soobin"

"Uh.. no I'm not"

The man doesn’t even flinch at the information of a stranger setting a foot inside his house, deep voice calm as ever as he asks "How did you even get in?"

"Uh the door was open" he points to the door in a futile attempt for it to not make it seem like he was the weirdo picking locks or something at a magical creature’s home

"No it wasn't" he moves to the door in the most graciously way he has ever seen someone do it, almost gliding across the floor, eyes never leave him except for the brief second where his hand tries the doorknob "huh it was. Weird"

It took the man less than a minute after his initial shock to turn to Jungkook and invite him in, a pair of teacups resting against the table as they seated parallel to each other, him crossing his legs in a nonchalant manner as Jungkook couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat– he certainly never thought he could come this far.

“So what can I do for you, Jeon Jungkook?” if he absolutely preened at the way that his name sounded in the stranger’s mouth, that was certainly something only for him to know.

The words died right on his tongue. There were certainly a lot of things the beautiful man seating across from him could do, none of them necessarily involving what he had initially come for, yet as the words take meaning inside his mind, he seems to short circuit yet again “I uh- you know- you know my name?”

He smiles a big smile, eyes crinkling into crescents, dimples showing and a heat simmering inside Jungkook’s belly “I know a lot of things, Jungkook” he stares off into space “Social skills are rusty, but they come back after getting a good look at you” Jungkook’s eyes must widen at the implication of his words. Could he read minds? Could he take a look into souls? “Just general stuff about you, don’t worry about it”

The man could definitely read minds.

Blink if you’re hearing this. The man blinks and Jungkook feels like fleeing. Wait. Everyone blinks, stupid. Perhaps some other time.

He somehow finds his voice, remembering the lingering question, the sole reason for him to be there “Mister Hallasan keeper, sir”

“Namjoon is fine”

“Mister Namjoon-ssi”

“Namjoon hyung”

Jungkook is sure this time his brain shortcircuits for real, for this complete stranger. Namjoon he corrects himself, to give him permission to call him so affectionately after only a few minutes of knowing him. After technically breaking- not breaking into his home.

Smile if you’re reading my mind. Namjoon smiles, something doesn’t sit right with him, he could very well be reading his mind, or simply smiling out of politeness at the extended silence Jungkook had caused, again. I’m onto you Mister Hallasan Keeper. Namjoon just smiles more fondly at him.

Jungkook goes on explaining his situation, from his rapid magic learning to being unable to wield his magic, to his father even suggesting that he could have been born from the Earth herself, just like Namjoon did all those millennia ago. The blond man restricts himself to listen to Jungkook speak, gaining a serious pose when he drops the reason for his visit, asking him for help. Jungkook’s almost sure he will deny it as he goes on to explain how his last magical apprentice had been there almost sixty years ago, going on about how he is pretty much a loner, no reason more than a brief excuse of being an outcast for practice differences with the village where Jungkook comes from, giving it a few seconds of thought before he accepts to have Jungkook under his wing, going as far as to give him a spare bedroom to sleep in along with the longest set of rules he had ever heard of.

Months with Namjoon look something more or less like this: waking up at 6 am sharp– something Jungkook had never done in his life, the first few times he had woken up later than that, it was almost impossible to know where his teacher had gone to. Have a rundown on the day’s activities and breakfast until 7. Jungkook was in charge of gardening on the 30-minute window of Namjoon harvesting for the spells he was due to make for the day. An hour of light reading– he knew better than to comment on how a thousand pages book was most definitely not light reading, but he did it anyway. He would then shadow Namjoon on whatever mystical task he had to do for the day before finishing up with him running basic high-level training with Namjoon’s guidance in the clearing– Namjoon had said that the Hallasan spirit would keep him safe and sound if he were to screw up, although so far all the spirit and her friends in the forest had done was laugh at his mistakes.

Five months in it, the whole routine came as second nature, he couldn’t even picture a day without Namjoon on it, not that there was anyone else that could pick up on the energy shift within it, Jungkook had learnt a lot from his teacher, not only in the magic department but about him as a person, couldn’t hide the lingering eyes, the curious touches of skin, every bit of information about Namjoon expanding that fondness feeling inside his heart, Namjoon was a man of habit, a powerful one at that, yet all those millennia living couldn’t hide the fact that Jungkook could see right through him, a lonely soul, as powerful as none other, yet so inherently say. Not even the whole power in the universe could keep him away from his own greatest danger: himself.

If you can read minds, kiss me. The kiss never came so perhaps Namjoon could never even read minds in the first place.

Now here’s the thing, Jungkook might be a mess when it comes to magic, but not so much at hiding his feelings, at least the best he could, Namjoon was as intelligent as men come and he had yet to notice. Namjoon’s friend that just happens to show up on a particularly lazy day– his teacher had said his magic tends to run out from time to time and would rather rest it; perhaps not so much.

Jeon Jungkook is a weak man. A weak man for beautiful things, like Namjoon, or you. Who just happened to walk inside Namjoon’s home like you owned the place– could he count it as his home too yet?

He could feel his heart wanting to leap out of him as soon as you introduced yourself, and perhaps he was imagining the way your eyes grazed over his figure before going to tease Namjoon, not that he stopped having heart eyes for the man when you walked in, he had enough heart eyes for the both of you, even if he had to keep them to himself. You were easier to warm up to than Namjoon if it was anything to go by, smoothly falling into conversation after you three had sat down for tea, walking up to Namjoon’s massive library, picking out books from their shelves as you asked him about his upbringings.

“The Jeon family? Oh, dearest, your grandfather was as good as wizards come” his brain cuts short as soon as the words leave your mouth, just how exactly could you have known the old man? The old wizard was presumably thrown out of the royal house for being unfit for ruling over the land. You playfully push your elbow against Namjoon “And I say this while knowing Joonie”

The blond man groans at your teasing.

“You-you knew my grandpa?”

“Yeh, such a shame he decided to be a mortal” Your initial interest seems to diminish as you turn to face the books yet again, a particular red cover catching your attention.

“What”

Jungkook faintly hears Namjoon standing up from his chair to try and get in between his conversation with you, although all he hears seems to come as if the voices were kept under cotton inside his ears “Y/N you’re overwhelming the kid”

For such a calm and collected posture, he had maintained not only while learning with Namjoon but back at home too, hearing such a word coming out of him really tips the glass “I’m not a kid! Why is everyone always treating me like a child!” surely it did seem rather childish to have an outburst like that, yet his mind couldn’t help but reel in all those other times in his stay where Namjoon had dismissed him from helping, saying it was a rather complicated spell you should wait this one out Jungkook. Or something along the lines of when you get stronger. It did seem the type of things one would say to their petulant child.

“Jungkook waits” Namjoon groans as he retreats to his assigned room, you can’t help the softness inside you at the way that strong independent loner Namjoon reacts to his apprentice being pissed off, certainly a first.

“You pissed off the kid” your remark isn’t that much well digested as Namjoon throws a dagger-like glare your way, groaning as he throws his head back against the couch

“Why am I parenting again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you offer him a tight lip smile, you had heard a lot about Jungkook even before you had walked inside the wizard’s home, like a reader of a slow-burning love story, you knew that ‘parenting’ was most definitely not the dynamic in his relationship with the younger, not with the way Namjoon had described the little mannerisms of his apprentice, or the way that he described his figure as the strongest back I’ve ever seen with such a tiny waist when he sent you a letter asking you to visit him.

The thing with the dynamic you had with Namjoon had been one going on for hundreds of years, feeding off of the magic that only such powerful creatures like you and him could conjure, effective yet dependent as when either of you two was in dire need of a boost, you would have to pay him a visit to work your magic. Jungkook hadn’t appeared after his little outburst, probably hidden in his room, taking only a few minutes of Namjoon glancing expectantly at the place where the younger had disappeared before you dragged him towards his room in an all too practised manner.

The whole environment was always on the calm side whenever you two get to it, something along the lines of strictly business, yet an undeniable connection between the two. Namjoon had you against his door, a dimly lit lamp on his desk, strong hands holding you in place at your waist as he leaned down to connect both of your mouths, eyes fluttering shut as he did so. Your hands found themselves tangled in his blond tousled hair in no time as he deepened the kiss, moving the both of you towards the bed as magic started glowing dimly within you two, connecting and feeding off of the spark of the situation, magic so profound and delicate that only immortal beings could hope to master. Namjoon placed himself against his elbows as you straddled his hips, your figure teasingly humping his growing bulge inside his pants as his breath started to become ragged, his own magic reaching forward to yours, just the way his lips chased yours. Yet there was only so much ominous Namjoon could handle. His hands were quick to undress both of you in between hot caresses and messy kisses as both of your bodies seem to move on their own accord, the magic itself doing the most out of the tantric experience, moans slowly but surely filling up the room as Namjoon positioned the tip of his hard cock on your entrance, teasing your folds for a few seconds before you settled on top of him in a familiar manner, sinking down on him as he throws his head back, letting out a groan. You are almost sure Jungkook could hear you both, yet your mind so clouded you wouldn’t have given it a second thought with Namjoon’s cock filling you up so nicely as you moved up and down on his length, that is until out of the corner of your eye you catch the casted shadow outside the dimly lit room.

"Your puppy is outside," You say as you stop moving on him, not quite removing yourself from the situation, yet you feel the magic in the room flickering faintly as if going dormant.

"What" Namjoon’s eyes are surprised as he lets reality sink in, his magic safely sated from the small act

"The kid that has an obvious crush on both you and me?” you state matter of factly as Namjoon’s jaw goes slack “He's watching us from behind the door"

As if on cue, there’s a rustling behind the door, feet rapidly resounding against the floor "No I'm not!"

Namjoon sighs loudly "JK just come in, I know this might seem.." the door opens and you could swear Jungkook’s eyes are about to leave his skull at the image he’s present with "weird"

"incredibly hot," they say at the same time, rendering both of them speechless

"huh kid's horny" you start removing yourself from Namjoon’s cock as your magic starts tingling, now reaching out for the younger "i like it"

"Y/N please"

You gesture by raising your hands as if surrendering, yet you know just how the night had taken a turn, willing to satiate your magic’s needs “He doesn’t like your PG training, let me handle this”

Jungkook is still sporting his Bambi eyes as he feels himself pulled into the room, closing the door softly behind him as he can only stare at you as you make your way towards him, lips ghosting over his “So tell me Jungkookie” your hand trails down to bring him closer to your naked body, taking his hand in yours and guiding it to your ass “Just how much are you willing to render of yourself for me and Joon?”

“All of me”

Jeon Jungkook might as well had been an erotic wizard like yourself if by the way he manhandles you and surrenders you to Namjoon like a loyal apprentice would to his master was anything to go by. Namjoon’s stare alone has the young man pliant as he caresses tan skin under his fingers, achingly curious as the youngest takes turns to kiss the eldest and yourself, Namjoon’s fingers playing with his nipples, your own hands working his length to life after your magic had completely undressed him, feeling both your and Namjoon’s magic reaching for Jungkook’s in a way you didn’t know was possible. A few kisses and lingering touches in, minds clouded with lust, kissing noises and moans taking over the space, Jungkook takes no time in positioning you on top of him, back to his chest as his length stretches you deliciously, long fingers playing with your clit as his own legs separate your thighs as if offering you up to his master, Namjoon looking like a man starved as he positions himself against Jungkook’s cock, his tip meeting no resistance as he glides in and nestles next to Jungkook, stretching you like no other time you could fathom, groans and ragged breaths of the men under and above you working you to your own climax, babbled words coming out of the youngest’s lips along with a promise of becoming yet another young god under your spell.

[ghostbustermelanieking]

jonmartin for 13? :)

i have absolutely no restraint and cannot write anything short im so sorry. this is a mag 102 au where martin finds out jon was kidnapped sooner. warning for discussion of this kidnapping as depicted in the episode, and the aftermath of recovering from this. also here on ao3.

13. things you said at the kitchen table

In the end, it's Melanie who tells Martin Jon's been kidnapped. Catches him in the break room, irritated and banging around the mugs, and she drops it into a sentence like it's something casual to be communicated. Oh yeah, Jon's back. Guess he's been kidnapped or something, and something sharp presses into Martin's chest, something like urgency. He's pushed his way out of his chair and halfway towards the door in a blind sort of franticness before Melanie catches him by the arm. "He's fine, you know," she says. "He looks… I mean, he doesn't look good, but he…"

"A month, " says Martin, feeling sick. "A month, he's been gone, and we… we didn't…"

"We didn't know, " Melanie says annoyedly, but there's a tiny pinprick of guilt in her voice, too. "He… he wasn't here before. You know that."

Right, Martin thinks, because you're probably the person he talked to most before he disappeared, and then he immediately feels guilty. Jon's been kidnapped, and he's… he's just… "Where is he?" he says, softer this time. (The bite's still in his voice, a little bit. He isn't sure who to be furious at, but it's hard not to be under the circumstances.) "Has… has he left?"

"Uh… no, I don't think so," says Melanie. "He… he said he was going to go lie down."

Martin knows, immediately, where he is, and he tries not to wince at it; he remembers sleeping there every night, scared out of his mind on that little cot, he doesn't know how Jon stands it. "I'm going to go check on him," he says. "I… he shouldn't… I'm going to go check."

Melanie lets go of his arm. "I think Elias knew," she says darkly. "Jon said it and he didn't even bat an eye. He knew, and he didn't tell us."

Something twists in Martin, something that he pushes aside—doesn't matter, not yet, all that matters right now is making sure Jon is all right. He nods a little, at Melanie, and then he pushes out of the break room and down towards the office. Tim is out for the day (not surprising), and Basira is reading at her desk; she doesn't look up when Martin comes through. Martin goes to the storage room where the cot is, where he knows it still is, and raps his knuckles quietly on the door frame before opening the door. 

Jon jumps, when Martin enters, in a way that instantly makes Martin shrink back with guilt. He's huddled on the cot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and he looks awful. Thinner, hair shaggier than when Martin saw him last. He looks exhausted, leaning towards the wall like he needs it to hold him up, and his arms are wrapped around himself in a protective sort of way. "... Martin?" he says, voice thin, and Martin honestly can't tell if he's happy to see him or not. 

"... Hi," Martin says, honestly not sure what to say. (What do you say in a situation like this?)  He chews at his lower lip, reaching for what to say— Are you all right doesn't seem appropriate, when Jon is so clearly not, but it's what he comes up with, his voice shaking a little when he asks it. 

Jon laughs, bitter, and uncoils his arms from around himself, relaxing a little. "Honestly? Honestly, not really, Martin. I… it's been…" He lifts a hand to press against his forehead; his sleeves fall down and Martin winces, immediately, at the red marks on his wrist, where he must've been restrained. "It's… it's, uh, really good to see you, Martin," he adds, softly. 

Martin presses a hand to his mouth, just for a minute; he's torn, he doesn't want Jon to see him upset, not when he's… "Melanie… told me," he tries. "What you… and I didn't… Jon, I'm so sorry. We had no idea, I… I swear, if we'd known, we would've…" 

Jon sits up a little straighter, something flashing in his eyes. "Hey… hey, no, Martin, it's… i-it wasn't your fault, it's all right, it's… t-there was no way to find me, and I hadn't really been… around before then, and it…" He breaks off his words, clutching a little harder at the blanket. "... Elias didn't deem it worth telling anyone," he adds, with a wry laugh. 

Martin takes a few steps closer, trying his damndest not to fall apart (at the fact that Jon looks like this, that Jon's been gone a month, that Jon is somehow trying to comfort him when he's…). "You aren't… d-did they hurt you?" he asks, uncertain who they even are. 

Jon flinches a little, looks down at his feet. "No, n-not… not really. I… not, um…" He laughs a little again, a hollow sound. "I'm just so tired. "

Martin stops, a few feet away; he thinks about touching Jon, some sign of comfort, a hand on his shoulder or—but no, that wouldn't be—he can't do that, not when Jon's just been kidnapped, it's probably the last thing he wants, to be abruptly touched. He does what he can do, instead; he says, "Jon, d-do you have anywhere… er, there's a… there's a reason you're staying here, isn't there? Wh-what about your friend you were staying with, could you go back there?"

Jon immediately, vehemently shakes his head. "I-I can't go back. Not if, n-not after… th-they came there before, they found me there, and if I go back… I-I told Georgie I'd leave. I can't bring her into this. I can't. If they came back…" 

"Okay," says Martin. "Okay, that's…" He crouches a little, feeling awkward as he does it, but he can't shake this feeling of—of looming over Jon. "Y-you can't stay here, Jon. This cot is horrible, i-it's… it's not a place for recovery, it's…"

"I'm going to find a place," Jon says softly. "I just… I need to sleep. First." 

"You shouldn't stay here, though," says Martin, "not after… you need a bed, a real bed, Jon. I…" He stops, halfway considers for a second. Starts again, because what else is he going to do? "C-come stay with me."

Jon looks up, shocked, but he doesn't immediately protest, so Martin continues: "Sleep on a real bed, recover, j-just until you're… I mean, my bed isn't great, but it's better than a cot, especially after…" He stops. He doesn't know what to say. "Just… you deserve something better than that, right now," he tries. 

Jon shakes his head, just a little. "Martin, I can't. I… i-if they came for me again, then you would…"

"I don't care," Martin says, firmer this time. (If Jon doesn't want to come back with him, fine, but he won't let that be the reason.)

"Martin, i-if anything were to happen, i-if you got caught in the crosshairs, I'd…"

"Really, Jon, I don't care. I'm not going to let them take you again, so you can put that thought out of your mind." Martin adjusts his position—it's uncomfortable, squatting like this, but making sure Jon feels safe is more important. (If it's even helping at all.) "You said you didn't want to put your friend in danger because she's out of this, right? Well—I'm in this. Pretty far into it, at this point, there's no getting out of it. So it doesn't matter. Okay?"

Jon worries at the edge of the blanket with his overlong nails. "... I… wouldn't want to impose…"

"You're not, Jon. I'm offering." Jon's still quiet. Martin shifts back into a standing position, because it really is uncomfortable, going slow; he adds, "It's the least I can do. Please."

Jon's hands are shaking. Martin can see it, now, and it's hard to watch; he's pushed a lot of fury back, just watching Jon now, still without any idea what's happened. "A—all right," Jon says quietly, finally, and his voice is thick, like he might cry. "Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Martin." And Martin feels a flood of relief at this, that Jon might be, at least, somewhat safe in his flat. 

---

They take a cab home. The Tube seems like it would be a lot. Jon really is exhausted, huddled up in an old coat despite the warm weather, leaning against the window in the back of the car. Martin shows him the bath and the bedroom, when they get home, says, "Let me know if you need anything," and leaves him alone. It feels like the right thing to do.

Martin stays in the living room. The anger begins to rise to the surface, then, coming out in bursts of nervous pacing and muttering (quietly, of course; he's had lots of practice with that, with Mum). He's furious at whoever took Jon (he isn't sure who, but he has a sneaking suspicion it's connected to the Unknowing), more furious at Elias for not telling them. He's going to say something this time, he thinks—march up there and give Elias a piece of his mind, or, or draft a furious email—and Martin has to stop there because it's all starting to sound ridiculous. He's going to say something now? He didn't say something when they found out Sasha died, when Elias told them that they were all trapped, but he's going to say something now? It sounds ridiculous, it does, and what would saying something do? Jon's back now, more or less safe, and there's nothing he can do now—no charging, triumphant rescues, nothing like that, all he can do is offer Jon his bathroom, somewhere safe to sleep. Shouting at Elias won't do a thing. 

(Martin wants to do something. He should've said something for Sasha, and he thinks he'll regret that forever, but if he couldn't then… well, he wants to have the courage to say something for Jon. But he doesn't. For some horrible reason, he can't.)

Jon sleeps for over fifteen hours, all afternoon and into the night. Martin sleeps on the couch. (He goes into the room to get the extra blanket and a change of clothes, and for a moment, he worries he'll wake Jon, but he must be quiet enough. Jon doesn't wake; he makes a strained sound in his sleep and turns over, curling in protectively on himself, but he doesn't wake up. Martin wants to go over there, kneel by the bed and hold Jon's hand, climb into bed and hold Jon and make sure he isn't hurt again. He doesn't. He doesn't have that with Jon, and now isn't the time, he can't scare Jon, make him uncomfortable, he has to leave Jon alone.) Jon's still asleep when Martin wakes hours later, tangled in his blanket on the couch, restless and on alert. He stares at the front door, tensing like he expects someone to come in (someone coming back for Jon), but nothing does. The apartment stays quiet. 

Martin gets up to make tea. It's still early, still dark outside, but he can't go back to sleep, he can't relax. He puts on the kettle and sits at the table, opens a packet of biscuits to munch on absently. Something to do. Something to do besides sit and think. 

The door creaks, abruptly, and Martin's head shoots up to see Jon, leaving the bedroom, looking dwarfed in one of Martin's rumpled jumpers. He looks at Martin with a tired sort of tentativeness and says, "Hi," softly.

"Hi, Jon," says Martin, his own voice too soft. "How… how did you sleep?"

Jon rubs at his throat, an absent sort of motion, and pads across the floor to the table. "I… well, actually. Very well. Best… best sleep I've had in a month." 

Martin's heart breaks a little, and he pretends it doesn't. Jon motions to the empty chair beside him and says,  "Do you mind if I…"

"No, no, of course not," says Martin quickly. "... D'you want some tea?"

A funny look passes over Jon's face as he sits and he says, "Yes. Yes, I… tea sounds amazing, Martin."

Martin gets up to get out another mug, to get out the milk and sugar. "I can make you something to eat, too," he says, and immediately feels horrible for not suggesting it earlier. (He doesn't want to speculate about when Jon's last eaten.) " Christ, why didn't I… I'm so sorry, Jon, you must be starving. I should've…"

"Don't, Martin, it's… I-I'm fine," says Jon. "Honestly, I… I-I can eat in a little bit, I'm not really hungry."

Martin bites his lower lip too hard and grimaces at the sudden burst of pain. "Okay," he murmurs. "Just… let me know when you're ready."

"I will," says Jon. 

There's silence for a few moments aside from Martin puttering around the tiny kitchen. It feels strangely domestic in a way that Martin isn't used to; he hasn't lived with anyone since Mum. He and Jon have shared meals before—they did it often, before Jon went on the run because they'd thought he was a murderer—and Martin's made him tea a dozen times, but it's never like… this. Quiet and natural, like they've done it a dozen times. Jon's staring down at the table, tracing a pattern cut into the top with an absent finger; he's shivering, in his chair, and Martin makes a mental note to turn on the heat. And then the kettle goes off, a sharp sound in the silent room, and Jon's jumping, jolting nearly out of his chair with huge, panicked eyes. 

"Sorry, sorry!" Martin says in a rush, reaching to yank the kettle off the eye. "Sorry—I-I forgot it was there."

"I-i-it's all right," Jon says. He's tensed against the table, his palms pressed to the top, like he's waiting for a bomb to go off, but he looks at Martin and he says, "Just a… little on edge, b-but really, it's fine."

Martin's chest aches as he fixes the tea. All of him aches, a guilt he can't really put his finger on—he didn't notice Jon was gone, he couldn't go after him, and now he can't even get to the kettle quick enough to keep from scaring Jon out of his wits. He doesn't say anything, though, besides another murmured, "Sorry," as he passes Jon the mug, and sits back down beside him. 

Jon holds onto the mug with both hands, like he expects to be pulled away, inhales a bit before taking a drink. "I've… missed your tea, Martin," he says quietly, stiltedly, like it's difficult to say. "All this time." 

Martin blinks in genuine surprise at that—all this time, and he's wondered before if Jon was just tolerating the daily cups. "You're joking," he says with disbelief. 

"I'm not," says Jon—and it's stunningly familiar, that tone of voice. He smiles a little down into the mug. "Haven't had a decent cup since February—Georgie's a coffee drinker."

"The audacity, " Martin snorts, theatrically, some small attempt to keep Jon smiling like that. 

"Yes, well—that's what I told her," says Jon, still with that halfway smile. He looks up at Martin abruptly, and something shifts on his face, almost—almost guilt of his own, which makes no sense. He says, "Martin, I've… I've taken your bed, haven't I? You… you should've said something."

"No, I shouldn't have, and I won't," says Martin firmly. "I didn't bring you here to sleep on the couch, Jon, for god's sake. The bed is yours."

"Sleeping on a couch won't kill me, Martin—"

"And it won't kill me either. You're not talking me out of this, Jon."

"A couch would be an improvement over that cot— anything would be. I shouldn't have…" That same look passes over Jon's face: that something resembling guilt. "I should never have made you stay there," he nearly whispers. "For months on that cot, after what you'd…"

"Jon, don't," Martin says, and he reaches out suddenly, to cover Jon's hand where it lays on the table. Jon looks up at that, as if he's startled, and Martin yanks his hand back, but he doesn't bring it too far; he leaves it there, hovering just above Jon's. " Don't ," he says. "I-it was a long time ago, and it was… I didn't mind staying there, I wasn't… you gave me a way out, and I-I appreciated that. I still do, Jon. So don't, please. Don't beat yourself up over that."

"I should've offered you better," says Jon, something like disgust in his tone. "I should've… there are so many things I should've done better."

Well—he isn't wrong, Martin thinks, but—but there's a dozen things they both should've done better, and now isn't the time to discuss them all, so Martin just says, "Don't," again. "Please. You don't have to… it's okay. It is. " And after a moment, Jon nods. He hasn't moved his hand away, but Martin feels odd, leaving his hovering there, so he just pulls it back.

They drink tea in silence for a few minutes. It's a pleasant silence, one that, under different circumstances, Martin might allow himself to hope for every day. It's several long moments before Jon speaks again, his voice rasping and small—he says, "It was the Circus. That took me. T-the one we've been looking for, planning the ritual. They'd… they planned it, they were watching me and they came."

Martin tries not to flinch, tries to ignore what feels like his insides grinding themselves together. Jon keeps talking after a moment; he says, "They… they wanted my skin. For the ritual. They… kept me for that, so they could… skin me. They were waiting for that."

Martin can't stop the words this time, when they push their way out; he says, "Oh, Christ, " like air being pushed out of him, like a sucker punch. He says, "Jon…" and his voice breaks, too, and something inside of him rips when Jon looks back at him, when he looks as if he might cry. 

"Um, Martin," he says, and he inclines his head tentatively towards Martin. "Do you mind… um, if I…"

His arms go out to the side a bit, and it's then that Martin realizes what Jon's asking for. He nods, immediately, and opens his arms, and Jon leans forward and into him so quickly that Martin wonders if he was waiting. 

Martin folds his arms around Jon gently, tentatively (one hand cupping the back of his head); he wants to cling, wants to hold Jon tight enough that nothing else would be able to take him, but he's afraid to hold on too tight. Jon, though, clings hard, his grip tight, his fingers digging desperately into the back of Martin's shirt. So Martin tightens his grip, and leans his head against Jon's, and lets Jon expel shaky breaths into his shoulder. He rubs tiny circles into Jon's back, murmurs, It's okay, it's okay now, and desperately wills it to be true. 

Minutes or hours later—it is impossible to be sure—Jon whispers, "Thank you," into Martin's shirt. He whispers it with a sort of finalty, but he makes no move to pull back. So Martin keeps holding him. 

"Jon… I'm so sorry," he says softly. "I'm so sorry. I… i-if I'd known. I swear, I would've come for you if I'd known." 

Jon takes another shuddering breath and looks up at him. His eyes are wet. There's something in his expression Martin can't quite place… reassurance, maybe. Or trust. "I know," he says. "Martin, I-I know you would've. I know." 

They sit there for a while longer, just like that, holding onto each other at Martin's kitchen table. 

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

hi! i love your blog! i was wondering if maybe you could write something where y/n and harry just had their first baby and they finally get some time to themselves and she's a little insecure about their first time after the post partum and nervous about her body or how it gonna feels like? thank uu💖

omg thank you 🥺🥺 I'm so sorry this took so long! i hope you like it :)

a very romantic bath for two

warnings: body insecurity, body image issues

word count: 2.8k

You sighed as you inspected your body in the mirror, running your fingers over the raised lines on your tummy and hips. Many of them were new; they had popped up sometime during your second trimester. At the time, you had been too busy worrying about the new life growing inside you and preparing to bring her home to focus too much on what was happening to your body. Even during the last few weeks of your pregnancy when you felt huge most of the time, Harry made sure to remind you constantly how much he loved you and your new body. He would rub your belly all the time, leaning down to kiss it and talk to your baby. He insisted it would help them develop faster once they were born, but you weren't quite sure where he got this "fact". You both knew he just liked being close to you and your baby.

He really hadn't left any room for you to be insecure during your pregnancy. He reassured you every day that you were more beautiful than ever, and he was always showing you how much he liked your new body. He could never keep his hands off you, always wanting to touch and hold you. It even got annoying at times, but mostly you appreciated it, and you were glad he never let your hormones get the best of you. Then, after Stevie was born, you were too busy and exhausted to even think about your appearance. You and harry were barely getting any sleep, and all of your time was devoted to caring for the newest member of your family. It wasn't until now, when Stevie was a little over 3 months old, that things started calming down a bit. She slept through the night most of the time, and you were finally coming out of that sleep deprived haze you had been in. Unfortunately, this gave you time to really look at yourself in the mirror. You had just gotten out of the shower, and Harry was with Stevie in the living room. You tilted to the side, looking at how much bigger your stomach was than before you had Stevie. The skin there was dimpled and soft, much more squishy than it used to be. And the stretch marks. They were everywhere, and much more prominent than they had ever been. You weren't sure if you would ever be able to get back to normal. Your negative thoughts were interrupted by a short knock on the door. You quickly wrapped a towel around yourself before you called, "You can come in!" Harry peaked his head into the room, smiling softly. "Sorry to bother you, but I'm out of wipes. I think there's another pack under the sink?" "No, it's okay, i was done," you smiled, reaching under the sink to grab the package. "Is she okay?" "She's fine, lovie," he smiled softly. "You don't have to feel bad being away for her for half an hour." "I know," you sighed. "But i still do. I hate not being next to her all the time." "Me too, i just want to hold her and never put her down." You nodded, sighing internally at how much you already missed your baby. "Why don't you finish up in here and then we'll make some lunch?" "Sounds good," you said, smiling at him in the mirror. Once the door was closed, you dropped the towel again. You really tried not to be too upset about how you looked, but it was hard. You knew if you told Harry he would just say the same thing, that it was normal and he thought you were beautiful. You didn't think that would help much. So you pulled on your old t-shirt and sweatpants, running a brush through your wet hair before making your way out to the kitchen. "Hi, baby," you smiled, picking Stevie up from the play mat on the floor. "I missed you." She snuggled against your chest, her head leaning on your shoulder as she let out a content little sigh. You leaned down, grabbing Stevie's rattle and putting it back in the toy box before you made your way into the kitchen. "How does spaghetti sound?" Harry asked. "Sounds good," you nodded, settling into one of the chairs at the dining table. you were about to pull off your shirt to feed Stevie, but the image of your prominent stretch marks made you reconsider. "Can you grab me one of the blankets?" You asked, but kept your eyes on Stevie. You knew if you looked up, you would see that sad and confused look on his face as he wondered why you suddenly wanted to cover yourself around him, and you really didn't feel like explaining your newfound insecurities right now. Thankfully, he didn't press for answers. "Sure, love. It's in the nursery?" You nodded, fiddling with the collar of Stevie's onesie to look busy. "Okay, I'll be right back," He gave a small smile before he left the kitchen. "What am i gonna do, hm?" You asked Stevie. She just blinked in response. Harry came back with the blanket, draping it over your shoulders from the front. "Thank you," you said quietly, adjusting the cover so you could pull your shirt up. "Of course, love," he replied, going back to the stove. "I wanted to ask you something, actually." You

hummed questioningly, eyes fixed on Stevie under the blanket. "Well, we just haven't had any time alone since Stevie was born, and my mum is dying to spend some more time with her, so do you think... I mean, only if it's okay with you, maybe we could have my mum take her for the weekend?" You hesitated, your heart suddenly beating much faster. Being away from Stevie for more than a day... of course you knew she would be safe and happy with Anne, but still... the thought made anxiety spike in your chest. Then there was the matter of being alone with Harry. You probably should feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but with the way you had been feeling about yourself lately, you couldn't bring yourself to care. But you also knew refusing this would cause all sorts of problems. It would make both Harry and Anne feel bad, and you really didn't want to upset anyone. So, taking a shaky breath in, you nodded. "We can do that. I just... i don't think I can do more than a day or two." "That's totally fine," Harry reassured you. "I don't want to be away from her for that long either. I was thinking we could drop her off Friday after lunch, then pick her up Saturday evening. Or sometime Sunday if they're really having a good time," he laughed. "They'll have all sorts of fun together, mum might not want to let her go so soon." You smiled at the thought of the pictures you knew Anne would send you. Stevie and her in the garden, Stevie in the stroller as they went for a walk, Stevie in the high chair while Anne baked cookies. "Okay. After supper we can get her stuff together." Harry beamed, coming over to kiss your forehead. "Thank you, baby. And if it gets to be too much, we can pick her up early. We can do whatever you need, okay?" Despite Harry's constant reassurance, you felt no less anxious the next day. You checked and re-checked Stevie's bag, making sure she had enough clothes to last her a week. "Lovie, she's only gonna be there for two days," Harry reminded you gently. "No, I know, but what if she spits up a lot? Sometimes she spits up a whole bunch and then she'll need to be changed, and what if-" "Hey, hey," he cut you off, placing his hands on your shoulders and speaking in a soothing tone. "It'll be alright. She's gonna be fine. She has enough clothes, and everything is gonna be okay." You nodded, taking a deep breath as you looked into his eyes. "Right. She's gonna be fine."

-----

"And the milk is here-" you held up several plastic bags- "I'll put this in the fridge. And to heat it up- wait, you already know how to heat up milk," you laughed nervously. "Um, and her onesies are all in the backpack. I have extras in there- a lot of extras, because sometimes she spits up a lot. And then her diffuser is in there too- we usually put a few drops of lavender oil in there, it helps her sleep. And diapers and wipes and diaper cream are all in the bag, and... oh! Her stuffed bunny. It helps her calm down if she's fussy. And I think... that should be everything," You exhaled, trying to smile at Anne. Harry put his arm around your waist. "Y/N, she knows how to take care of a baby. Look how well i turned out!" Despite how nervous you were, you managed to laugh. "Right. I'm just... I'm sorry, I've never been away from her." "It's alright," Anne smiled reassuringly. "I understand how scary it is to be away from her for the first time. But you can call or FaceTime, or if it's too much you can come pick her up." "Thank you," you sighed. "We should probably get going before i change my mind." Harry nodded, unbuckling Stevie from her carrier. He hugged her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. "I'll miss you so much," he said. "But you'll have so much fun with your grandma. And we'll see you soon, okay?" he kissed her one more time before handing her over to you. "Be good for your grandma, okay? I love you," you kissed her just like Harry had. "I love you so much." Before you could start crying, you handed her to Anne. "Thank you so much for this, Anne," you said. "We really appreciate it." "You're a godsend," harry agreed. "Thank you." "Of course, I'm happy to have her," Anne smiled. "Now shoo, so i can spend some time with her!"

-----

"It's so quiet," Harry said as you walked into the house. "I'm not used to it." "I know," You laughed. "There's no cartoons or baby shark, it's crazy." "Can't say I miss baby shark, though," he shook his head. "I think we need to find a new song for her." You nodded. "It got old really fast." "It did," he laughed. "And now... we can enjoy some peace... and quiet." He stepped closer to you, smiling as he heard your breath hitch. "I was thinking maybe we could have a bath together?" Your heart started thudding faster in your chest, and not for a good reason. "No," you said quickly. Too quickly. Hurt and confusion flashed across his face, and you immediately wanted to take back your words. "I just- I can't," you said quietly, stepping back. "Is there... did something happen?" he asked gently, eyes softening when he realized how close to tears you were. "What's the matter, love?" "Harry, I just can't," you shook your head as tears welled up in your eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm trying but I just can't get back to normal. I look terrible and I have all these stretch marks and everything is just wrong," you cried, bringing up your hands to cover your face. "Baby..." he whispered, moving closer and opening his arms. "Come here." You did as he asked, walking into his arms and leaning against him as you cried. "I just don't want you to see me," you sniffled. "Your body isn't wrong," he shook his head. "Not at all. It might look different than it did before, but that's because it went through something amazing. It gave us Stevie! It- you are perfect. Alright?" You nodded against his chest. "I just... i really don't like the way i look anymore and i don't think you will either." Since your face was pressed against his shirt, you didn't see the way his face dropped. You didn't see how much it hurt him to hear you talk about yourself this way. You felt him inhale a shaky breath before he hugged you tighter. "I'm so sorry you feel this way. I had no idea how much it was bothering you. I want- I want to show you how much I love you. Will you let me show you?" "How?" you said quietly. "Do you trust me?" You hesitated for only a moment before nodding. He smiled, pulling back and taking your hand. He lead you into your bedroom, closing the door behind the two of you. He crossed the room to stand in front of you again, his fingers gripping the hem of your shirt. "Can i take this off?" he asked quietly, keeping his eyes on yours. He must have sensed your hesitancy, because he dropped his hands down to his sides. "It's just me," he reminded you. "We don't have to if you don't want to, though." "No, it's... it's okay," You decided, raising your arms. He smiled gently, tugging the soft material up and over your head. You kept your eyes on him as soon as the shirt was off your head, too apprehensive to look down at your body. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. He hooked his fingers in the elastic of your sweatpants, looking at you again for confirmation. You nodded, allowing him to pull the rest of the clothing off your body and taking his hand to step out of them. He lead you over to the bed, keeping his eyes on yours the whole way. "Lay back," he instructed quietly, watching as you did what he said. He climbed into the bed behind you, settling himself between your legs to meet your eyes. "You're amazing," he smiled. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen." he brought his hand down to your stomach, and you cringed immediately when he brushed over one of the marks. "It's okay," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with these. You know what they are?" You shook your head. "They're little marks that remind us of Stevie. They show how strong you are for carrying her, and keeping her safe until she was ready to come out and meet us. And they show how someday, you'll be able to have another baby, and keep him or her safe just like Stevie. Right? That's all they are." He moved down, leaning his head closer so he could press a soft kiss to one of the marks near your hip. "I don't want you to change anything

about yourself," he said, moving his lips over the lines on your tummy. "I love you just the way you are." Tears were welling up in your eyes again, but this time they weren't from anxiety or fear. This time, they were because you felt overwhelmed by your love for him. "Harry..." He looked up, his face falling when he noticed the tears in your eyes. "No, please don't cry," he said, moving back up to hover over you again. "I'm sorry, please don't be upset," he frowned, wiping one of the tears away with his thumb. You shook your head. "That's not why- i just love you so much," you said, trying your best to smile. "I love you too," he smiled back, leaning down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, then your cheeks, and finally, your lips. "I love you so, so much, and I will show you every day if you'll let me," he sighed, moving off you to lay on his side. He kept one hand on your hip, helping you turn over to look at him. "I want you to tell me if you're ever feeling like this again, okay? I want to know so I can help you." "Okay," you nodded, still sniffling a bit. "Thank you." You leaned against him, tucking your head in his neck. "Thank you." "Of course, lovie." He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. "I want you to always know how loved you are. It doesn't matter how many times I have to remind you; i don't ever want you to feel like this and not tell me. I love you way too much to let you be this sad." "I will," you promised. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "it's okay," he soothed, running his hand up and down your back. "Do you think... it's okay if you're not ready yet, but do you think we could try taking a bath?" This time, you barely even hesitated before answering. "I think we can try," you nodded. "We can even turn off the lights if you want, just light a few candles," he mused, his face pressed gently against your hair. "It's more romantic that way anyways." "That sounds good," you laughed. "Come on then," he said, sitting up. "One very romantic bath for two, coming right up."

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 70: Patronus

"I'm doomed," Draco hissed at Pansy as they left the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom. "The final is in less than a month! How could Higgins spring this on us?"

"Calm down," Pansy said.

"Calm down? Calm down?! Pansy, you recall that I have a dark mark don't you? The final is half of our grade! I'm going to fail."

She shook her head, "You're not going to fail," she informed him calmly. "You'll learn Draco, you have over three weeks."

"But I'm an ex-death eater," he whispered, as though anyone could ever forget. "Death eaters can't cast a patronus, you know that."

"That's not true," a voice behind them piped up, making Draco jump.

"For Circe's sake, Potter, stop sneaking around," he grumbled.

The other boy shrugged, "Sorry," he said unrepentantly, "Couldn't help but overhear what you were saying."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Oh, you just couldn't help it, huh?"

He flicked a careless grin at Draco, his dimple showing, and as always, Draco didn't know quite what to do with that. "I'm just saying that death eaters could cast a patronus."

"How would you know?" Draco asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Snape could cast one, and Merlin knows that you did far less horrific shite than he did," Potter replied as he sauntered past them and into the common room. "I could help you, if you want," he called over his shoulder before walking out of view.

Pansy opened her mouth and he cut her off, "Don't," he said, holding up a hand.

(Read more below the cut)

She cackled, "I bet there's a thing or two he could help you with."

"Why am I friends with you?" he groaned. "I'll figure it out myself," he added with a haughty sniff.

---------

A week and a half passed and Draco was no closer than he'd been the day she'd first assigned this task to them as part of their final. Draco sat in the library, pouring over textbooks that were supposed to help to teach you to cast one but none of them seemed to help.

"Hey," Potter said as he dropped into the chair across from Draco like they were friends or something. He'd been doing it since February and Draco still couldn't understand it. "How are you?"

"Awful," Draco replied with a groan. "I'm going to fail my Defense final and then I'm going to go to prison because passing all of my classes is part of my parole," he said, the words pouring out of his mouth without his consent. "And I never imagined that passing my classes would be a problem, but-"

"Draco," Potter said, his voice calm and unruffled, "Let me help you."

"You can't," he said shaking his head.

Potter tilted his head consideringly, "Maybe not but would it hurt to try? I've taught like over twenty other teens to do it," he added.

Draco bit his lip, what could it really hurt?

"Come on," Potter said, standing up and holding out a hand to pull Draco to his feet. "If it fails you can always come back and read through dusty books some more."

"Fine," he sighed, reaching out and taking Harry's hand, a thrill tingling up his arm at the contact.

Harry didn't let go right away as he started walking and Draco's heart tripped along inside of his chest as he stumbled after him.

"Where are we going?" Draco asked.

He released his hand but gave him a little smile, "we can't very well practice it in the library, can we?"

Then Harry took off running and Draco had no choice but to jog after him, spluttering indignantly. "Why are we running?"

"Because it feels good," Harry replied as he raced down the stairs and outside.

When they reached just the edge of the forest, where there weren't any signs of other students Potter stopped and took off his cloak, enlarged it, and laid down on it.

"What are you doing?"

Harry just patted the cloak beside him.

"Potter," he said, hands on his hips.

The other boy opened his eyes and said, "Trust the process. Come lay down."

With a sigh he laid down on the cloak and stared up at the sun peaking through the branches.

"Relax," Harry whispered, covering Draco's hand with his own.

Somehow, it soothed Draco and made him panic all at once but at least it wasn't the normal kind anxiety, it actually made him feel a weird sort of excited anticipation.

"Think of a happy memory," he murmured, "A really happy one that you can feel all the way down to your toes."

He was quiet, trying to think, "It's been a while since I've been that happy," he confessed.

Harry's hand squeezed his gently and he thought this was probably as happy a moment as any. He focused on the feelings in his body.

"When you're ready," Harry said a few minutes later, "we'll stand up and try to cast. You've already got the mechanics down, it's just about getting the feelings right."

Draco nodded, then pushed himself to his feet.

The other boy stood behind him and rested a hand on his shoulder, "Think of your happy moment," he murmured. "Let it fill you up."

He inhaled, thinking of the way Harry's body felt next to his, of the warmth of his hand, the tingles in the pit of his stomach; and then he cast. "Expecto Patronum," he said, circling his wand.

A thin, silvery mist appeared from the end of his wand and he stared at it in shock, "Did you-?" he started.

"Well done," Harry encouraged. "See. You can do it."

"Can you show me yours once?" he asked. "It would be helpful to see your technique," and while this was the truth, it wasn't the whole truth; mostly Draco was just curious to see Harry's patronus for himself.

Harry nodded slowly, "Just, don't tell anyone."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's changed," Harry replied "and I don't mind you knowing but I don't know quite what it means and I'd rather figure it out before the press catches wind of it."

"You don't have to show me," he ventured.

The other boy shook his head and took a deep breath "Expecto patronum," he said and his wand produced what appeared to be a fox of some sort. "Hermione thinks it's an arctic fox," Harry said as they watched it lope around the clearing.

"It's beautiful," Draco breathed.

"Thanks," Harry said with a little smile. "She tells me it's because I've become more withdrawn, that I had to be more reliant on myself," he shrugged.

"Do you miss your stag?"

He nodded, "It was nice to be connected to my mum and dad, you know? To have something in common with them."

"I'm sorry," Draco said softly.

Harry shrugged, "There must be a bigger reason," he said. "I hope, anyway." His fox dissipated and Harry turned to him, "Let's see yours again."

-------

Over the next two weeks, Draco's patronus charm got stronger, and once he thought he'd caught the glimpse of a what appeared to be a dog's nose, perhaps, but nothing more.

"The final's tomorrow," he told Harry as they laid out under the trees, "And I still haven't been able to conjure it. I'm going to fail."

"What's your happy memory?" Harry asked.

"What's your's?" Draco countered.

Harry hummed thoughtfully, "It changes," he said. "The first time I cast one it was of my mum's voice. I don't even know if it was a real memory of not," he added.

"What about the last one you cast?" Draco asked.

The other boy turned his head to look at Draco, "It was that you were giving me a chance," he confessed softly with a little smile. "Will you tell me yours?" he asked.

Draco bit his lip, "Just this," he whispered finally. "There's something about you that just," he trailed off, searching for the right descriptor, "Thrills me. And it used to be in all the wrong ways, but..." he trailed off feeling a little shy and embarrassed.

"But now it feels a little bit like flying," Harry whispered. "At least that's how it feels for me."

The corner of his mouth tipped up, "Me too."

Harry rolled onto his side, "Can I kiss you?"

Draco nodded up at him and Harry leaned down to press his mouth softly to Draco's, his fingers brushing the hair lightly back from his face.

He reached out and pulled the other boy a little closer, tilting his head to find a better angle. After a minute, he pulled back, "Wait a second," he said as he stood up and set himself up to cast. He let the kiss wash over him again in his memory, filling him up with boundless joy, and the silver mist came out thicker than ever before.

Harry stood up and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck. "Try again," he murmured.

Draco took a deep breath, feeling the heat radiating off of Harry's body. "Expecto Patronum!" he said once more and his patronus burst from the end of his wand.

He stared at it, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing.

Harry's breath caught as he leaned forward, pressing against Draco's back to get a closer look. "I hoped so," he said softly as Draco's little arctic fox trotted around them.

"Expecto Patronum," Harry said and his arctic fox appeared, making a beeline for Draco's.

Draco leaned back against Harry, "What does mean that they're the same?"

"My mum's and dad's were the same animal," he said, "and Snapes was the same as her's."

"What does it mean?" he asked again, he had his suspicions but he needed to hear Harry say it first.

Harry cleared his throat, "Well I don't want speak for you, but I think it means that at the very least, I'm in love with you."

Draco blinked, then turned himself around in Harry arms, "I think I'm in love with you, too," he confessed with a smile.

And this was only the start of the many, many ways that they would spend the rest of their lives making one another happy.

-----------

Thanks so much @oviovs, for the prompt! It's not quite established at the beginning but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Thank you for all of the love and encouragement you leave on my little stories. <3

Day 69: Soaked | Day 71: Return

[word-scribbless]

Don’t settle

@hopscotchandlemon had this amazing idea and trusted me with it! I’m super excited about it!

Request: My idea is that Gibbs' girlfriend's teenage daughter phones him one night because she's getting hassled by a group of boys and she can't get hold of her mum. Gibbs goes and sorts things out and he gives the girl a lift home. On the way back the daughter gets upset, wondering if she'll ever find someone special who cares for her like Gibbs cares for her mum.

Masterlist

——————-

Gibbs was working on his boat one night when he heard his phone ring. He was really hoping he didn’t get a case, his girlfriend’s daughter Alli was out with some friends and his girlfriend Y/N was working late at the office.

“Yeah Gibbs” he said gruffly with out looking At the little screen.

“G-Gibbs I mom won’t pick up! I- can-can you pick me up?”

“Alli where are you? Are you okay?” He asked dropping his tools and getting up.

“I I’m at the movies can you come get me please?”

“Of course Alli I’m on my way. Are you okay?”

“I I’m fine I- just get here please?”

“I’m on my way, stay on the phone with me until I get there yeah?” Gibbs suggested

“Okay, thank you gibbsy” Alli whispered.

Gibbs smiled at the nick name the girl coined for him the first year he dated her mother.

Y/N and Gibbs had been together for almost 6 years now. Alli was a very standoffish 9 year old when they first got together. She had never known her father and was very close with her momma. Gibbs impressed Y/N with how quickly he won Alli over, without even having to bribe her with candy. Gibbs had fallen for Alli almost as quickly as he had for her mother. He went from a lonely man who lost his happy family, to a man with a secon chance, and two great girls who he could share his first girls with, and make new memories.

Gibbs stayed on the phone talking to Alli about anything he could think of. They landed on her current favorite topics; painting, the boat they were working on, and ice hockey. He was glad to be able to cheer the girl up a bit, but that didn’t cool the fire in him that someone had hurt his little girl.

He pulled up to the movie theater to see Alli sitting on the curb alone, a large group of teenage boys and a few girls standing off to the side. He could clearly see that Alli was trying to get as far away from them as she could.

“Hey Alli-cat you ready?” Gibbs announced, making sure to shoot the onlooking teens a look as Alli got in the car.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked and Alli huffed

“you hate talking Gibbs” she retorted

“Not to my y/L/N girls I don’t.” He smiled.

“God how are you like this?!” Alli cried. Gibbs pulled over to a parking spot away from the theater.

“Like what Als.”

“Y-your so caring and you love my mom so much! You would never ever have asked a girl on a date and then showed up with all your friends and kissed another girl, in front of the one you asked out, to make them laugh” she sniffles. “I know you guys are older but-but the way you love Shannon and the way you love mom, I-I’m never g-gonna have that.” She cried and Gibbs tucked her into a hug.

“Sweetheart if I knew you wouldn’t stop me I’d go teach that boy a lesson.” He said and continued before Alli could tell him he better not. “Alli-cat, You are 15 years old. You have time to find someone who will treat you the way you deserve.”

“I just-I don’t want to have to go through the tuckers and the my dads and the your ex wives to get to the man who loves me the way you love mom. I shouldn’t have to! Mom tells me every day not to settle for anything less than my very own Jethro Gibbs but what if I don’t deserve that?”

“First of all Allison Y/L/N, you deserve that more than anything in the world. I can’t promise you won’t get hurt along the way, but you will find a man that loves you the way I love your mom. Most girls don’t have a mom like you do, that teaches them to be strong, and wait and fight for what they want. We are both very lucky to have her. It may not be easy Alli but trust me, there is a man, or person, out there who will love you the way you deserve.”

Alli looked at Gibbs slightly teary eyed and a little shocked.

“What?” He grunted.

“You just said so many words at one time!” She giggled.

Gibbs playfully rolled his eyes as he started the truck again.

“You Y/L/N girls have a way of getting me to do that. First night I met your mom I talked more than I did the whole month before.”

Alli giggled at that too.

“Mom says you swept her off her feet that night.” Alli smiled.

“Truth is Alli, all I did was care and let her in a little. Which was not easy for me at all, but when it’s right it’s right Als. It takes work and courage, but there is someone who’ll sweep you off your feel just by askin’ you to dance too.” Gibbs smiled at the memory.

“You and mom kinda ruined me for relationships, I have very high expectations.” She huffed but Gibbs could see her smile.

“You’re welcome.” He joked back.

“So this kids name is tucker?” Gibbs asked after Alli had cranked the radio and he could tell she was feeling more herself. “Don’t you even think about it dad!” Alli said and froze a little. It wasn’t the first time she said it but she’d never said it to him, usually when talking to Y/N about him. Gibbs smiled.

“Like that title” he said and she smiled back.

“Yeah?”

“Alli you can call me anything you want, with in reason. But title or not, you’re my daughter and I love you.”

“Love you too dad.” Alli smiled and went back to singing.

When they got home Y/N was just pulling up in the drive and checking her phone. Gibbs saw her listen to what must have been Alli’s voice mail and panic. He got to her as she opened her car door .

“Hey you” he said and kissed her softly. “Don’t worry about the voicemails I got her.”

“Hi mom!” Alli said giving her a hug. “I’m gonna go get something to eat” she sang walking past them.

“How do you do that?” Y/N asked.

“Do what?” Gibbs asked with a smirk.

“She called me in tears not 20 minutes Go and now she’s all bouncy and Alli again.

“Threaten to beat up the jerk who asked her out then brought another girl and all his friends” Gibbs said as he led her up to the house.

“I’ll kill him” y/n said

“Don’t worry she’s alright, told me something you said though” he smiled.

“Oh yeah? What’s that”

“That she shouldn’t settle for anyone less than her Jethro Gibbs.” He smirked and she turned to him.

“Yeah that’s not a Secret. J I waited almost 40 years to meet a man who loves me the way you do, and I’d do it all again if that meant I ended up with you.” Y/N said and cupped his cheek.

Gibbs smiled and kissed her “glad I took a chance on beautiful, sassy, 37 year old you and that shy scrappy lil 9 year old with pig tails.”

Y/N smiled and leaned up to kiss him again. “Me too j” she smiled but looked a little confused.

“What?” He asked

“That was sweet but very wordy for you.”

“You Y/L/N girls, you’re the reason I talk so much, but your always questioning it.”

“You love us” y/N said

“Sure do” Gibbs agreed as he kissed her head and led her into the house.

“Dad did you get more of that cereal?” Alli called from the kitchen as they came through the door.

“Yeah in the right cabinet” Gibbs called back with a proud smile and turned to a grinning Y/N who made a cheering motion and let out a “FINALLY”

“Huh?” Gibbs questioned.

“She’s been referring to you as dad when you’re not around since she was 11, told me she was waiting for the right time to try it out with you! I’m so proud” Y/N sniffled.

Gibbs’ half smile grew even wider. “That okay with you? Me being her dad?” He asked.

“Jethro Gibbs in my mind you’ve been her dad since the first day you picked her up from school sick, made her star chicken noodle soup and sang her to sleep when she was in the fourth grade. A title is just that, a name. One you deserve so very much, but you are and always will be that girls dad. We don’t need a legal document to tell us that, just like I don’t need one to tell me we’ll love each other for the rest of our lives. You’re stuck with us J.”

Gibbs smiles and pulls y/n into a kiss before saying “wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Tag list:

@mac99martin @kittenlittle24 @viper-official @ilovemark1951 @theofficialzivadavid @averyhotchner @andreasworlsboring101 @diesinspanishbcimhispanic

[extremelyblackandwhite]

ascendance - 04

PAIRING: mob!bucky barnes x reader

WARNINGS: abduction, age gap (reader is 23, bucky is 37)

A/N: hello!! i hope you enjoy this new chapter as i dive more into bucky’s past. italics in this work symbolise a flashback in case anyone’s confused. hope you enjoy it xx

> NEXT CHAPTER | MASTERLIST

The entrance hall of the Barnes household was pilled up with people. Between his mum barking orders left to right and caterers bringing food in and out, the once silent room turned into a busy crossroads which meant James had retreated back to his room. He was sat down in his bed, cashmere black suit on and hair pushed back, Dead Souls opened on top his legs. He was lost in between the small black letters printed on the yellowing paper, so lost that the sound of his window opening went by him until a loud thump woke him up from his literary daze. Bucky looked up to see his younger sister, sat on the floor of his bedroom by the window with her dress partially on and hair messy due to the windy weather outside. He sighed, closing his book and putting it off to the side.

    - Can’t you climb into your own bedroom? - Bucky got up from bed, leaning down to help her back onto her feet.

    - Yours is closer. - she brushed the dirt off her baby pink dress picked by their mother. - Shouldn’t you be downstairs?

    - Shouldn’t you be in your bedroom? 

    - Touche. - she pointed. - Can you not tell mum? She’ll freak out if she discovers that I went out on dad’s big day. 

    - Go on, I’ll keep mum occupied while you sort out that bird’s nest hair. 

    - Thank you! - she smiled, giving him a short hug. - What am I gonna do when you go to Princeton? Who’s gonna cover for me?

    - I guess you’ll just have to form an alliance with the maids.

Y/N and Bucky were silent, barely speaking to each other if even looking into each other’s eyes. She merely remained there in her operatic costume, the corset doing the best of jobs at enhancing her female features and almost making her look like a femme fatale out of a classical movie in rich red and green fabrics decorated with what he guessed where heavy metal gold pieces resembling precious jewels and golden rings. He did not know which production they were putting on, he hadn’t even heard her sing before but she looked like she belonged in that stage, like she would have been showered in praise the moment the spotlight grazed her. 

She paced around the living room not exactly sure what to do, the beads which made up her skirt and would suddenly peak to show her legs making a slight rustling noise as her eyes studied the book shelf which was filled with tons and tons of books from the classics to mere economy books. Maybe she could read them whenever the tension between of them wasn’t so apparent. She couldn’t help but sometimes look at the badly fixed window and wonder if she could make it, maybe when he wasn’t looking, maybe when he was sleeping yet looking at him; tall, muscular, fast, definetely much stronger than her, she knew that even if she managed to get outside, he would easily get her back. Her mind battled her positive side as she wondered if this was it, if this was home now. Suddenly, her old flat no longer seemed old and she would give everything away if only she could go back, back to being told to do errands that really did not concern her, to stepping on bobby pins laid on the ground, to way too strong makeup which looked ridiculous in proper daylight. She would give everything, if she could go back to what her life had been. 

The man whose name he hadn’t even dignified himself to tell her yet was sat on one of the high chairs by the kitchen with his eyes trained on her. She briskly turned around, arms crossed under her chest with an almost child like pout of someone who had just been punished. In reality, I’m the one who’s being punished here, he thought to himself.

     - You could tell me your name. - she said, not looking into his eyes, instead rubbing her worn out ballet shoes against his hard floor. 

     - You don’t need to know my name. - he was quiet yet imposing. Y/N could not deny he seemed to have a strong presence despite barely raising his voice. It was almost magnetic as if he was made to be looked at, yet she felt he didn’t want to be seen. 

     - What if I need to call out for you? 

     - I would know. There’s no one else here, is it?

Y/N did not reply to this, instead rolling her eyes and sitting down on the couch. There was not much to do in the small one bedroom apartment other than pace around, eat and watch television. Her hand flew over to the remote, pointing it at the TV to turn it on which opened on the news channel. She guessed this was the way she had of now knowing what was happening outside the four walls she was being held captive in. There wasn’t much happening and even if it was, all the local news could talk about was about the upcoming mayoral election. It was a circus with advertisements and rumours flying around about each and every candidate and while it was almost painfully enjoyable to see men over thirty acting like gossip mean girls in school, everyone knew who was gonna win. 

She’d always been told that behind every great man, there’s a great woman and in this particular election it couldn’t be anymore true. The favourite candidate to win, Robert Moore, also known as Bobbie, was married to an senator’s daughter but not just any senator, Senator Barnes. She was too young to remember his policies or even his public persona, yet from what she knew, he had been a very well liked and well respected Senator, coming from a prominent family and building an even more prominent family. Being married to Rebecca Barnes, now Rebecca Barnes-Moore, was a one way ticket to a good career in politics. The two stood in the television screen, side by side in an almost JFK and Jackie Kennedy fashion with sunny smiles looking like the picture perfect Americana couple. It seemed all his ads showed him, his wife and their new born baby. High school sweethearts, it seemed.

    - Are you gonna watch that the whole day? - she turned her head around, looking at his annoyed expression, whiskey glass in hand. 

    - They look good together. 

    - It’s a circus. - he snickered, sitting by her side. 

    - What are you? An anarchist? - those words flew out of her mouth without any filter, mostly out of nuisance. - Her father was a great politician and he is young and likeable.  

     - Young and likeable ... sounds like great political traits. 

     - What do you know about politics?

     - What do you know about politics? Do they have a crash course in politics at whatever company you were in? 

She rolled her eyes, turning the volume up to listen to the broadcaster tell the love story of the future mayor and his wife. Her face softened as she heard what was probably a highly modified version of the actual truth yet she couldn’t help but slightly smile at the idea of it. They seemed in love and as someone who had a degree in pretending to be in love while singing, it warmed her heart to see it. She liked that idea, the idea of Ms and Mrs Americana, the idea of having someone to lean in. Well, she liked the idea of someone. Sure, maybe the man whose name she still didn’t know and was starting to believe was never going to learn was right, it was a circus, all elections are but she couldn’t help but be pulled by the myth of it, by the we against the world mentality no matter how morally wrong it was. 

She continued to watch the coverage of the election run as the man next to her got up from the couch to pick up a phone call. Her hearing slightly moved towards what he was doing, mind always thinking of escaping but even though he was talking on the phone, his gaze was trained of her as if she were his prey. He mumbled something on the phone before turning it off and moving his eyes to text someone yet after that his eyes were on her once more. 

    - Try not to escape for the next hour.

    - Do you have a nameless anarchy convention to attend?

    - Billy is coming to watch over you. No funny business. 

    - Will. - she corrected him. - He doesn’t like being called Billy. 

    - As long as you don’t pull a mission impossible on him, I will call him whatever you want. 

Will didn’t take long to arrive, dressed in a tennis-like outfit as if he had been pulled away from tennis which sounded like something he’d do. Bucky exchanged a few words with him before leaving the two of them together. He trusted Billy, or Will, was smart enough not to let her escape or run away. God, he didn’t even want to think about what John would do to him if she escaped, much less what he would do to her if she escaped. He made his drive to John’s condo in fifth avenue, parking his bike somewhere before making his way up. The condo was always weirdly filled with chatter talk yet he could see no people, it was as if the ghosts of the people he had taken out followed him in his own home and Bucky couldn’t say he pitied him. After all, he had his own ghosts too. 

He looked into John’s office where he was sat in the couch, the coverage of the election run on the television on low volume. John’s eyes immediately found Bucky’s figure looming at the entrance, never really entering, just standing behind the line which separated the hall from the office. 

     - How’s the roomie? - he motioned his hand for him to come in. - Still pretty?

     - What do you need?

     - I just got an invitation to a fundraiser. Zemo’s going so I want you to go. 

     - I can’t, I have her to watch over Y/N. She’s not very keen on remaining in the flat.

    - Chain her up for all I care. It’s in two weeks and I’ll be damned if I’m there by myself with Zemo. Besides it’s your sister’s fundraiser, I always love to see Rebecca. 

    - She’s not gonna be there. - his jaw locked. - A fundraiser for the mob? It’s mostly free alcohol and networking with them not showing up. 

    - Maybe you should bring your roomie. She’s pretty and if anything I’m sure she can sing and if not maybe she can entertain in another form. 

    - The NYPD is probably looking for her, it’s not wise ...

    - Do you make the rules? - John interrupted him, leaning against the couch with arms crossed. - You seem to have forgotten who makes the rules, soldat. 

    - I just don’t think ...

    - You don’t think. - he interrupted him once more. - This election is important and since I do not have the right person here to get ahead, I will make do with what we have. I don’t give a fuck about what you do when you’re at your flat but she is mine. She is my get out of jail card. Are we clear, soldat?

    - Yes. 

    - You can go now. - he dismissed him. Bucky turned around, eyes open wide yet emotionless face as if he were disconnected from his own consciousness. He guessed it was for the best to remain disconnected, to not know what was going on.

He drove himself back home, standing alone at night looking at his flat; the window still broken while the lights were flickering. He thought about running off, starting his bike and running off into the night and just drive until the tank was empty but he couldn’t. He had strings, strings which kept him tied to where he was right now. He guessed that now she was another string keeping him here. 

Bucky sighed as he walked back to his flat, opening the door to a rather serene sight. Will was by the kitchen watching the football game while Y/N was laid across the couch, book in hand which he recognised as one of his old ones. Her hair was different, she probably had taken off her wig and for the first time since those few minutes in the costume room. It looked soft, framing her face and getting in front of her eyes as she herself got lost in the room. Will excused himself, leaving just as he noticed Bucky before he could be yelled at by using his television. Yet again, Y/N and Bucky were alone in that small flat. She looked up from the book and at him before returning to read.

He left her with the book, walking to his bedroom which was probably now more hers than his to grab one of trousers and hoodies before returning back to the living room. Still reading. At least she wasn’t trying to break any more windows. He put the hoodie and trousers by her side, turning off the television as more screams for the football match came through. 

   - You can change into those. - he pointed at the clothing, getting her attention as she closed the book. - Those beads can’t be comfortable. 

   - Oh 

   - The bathroom’s there. - he pointed at one of the few doors in the flat. - You can shower too, there’s towels. 

   - Thank you. - she grabbed the things he had put out for her before leaving him in the living room by himself.

And then it was just him once more, alone, tied to this city which screamed everyone’s name but his.

TAGLIST: @lookiamtrying​ @buckyswillows​ @blossomslibrary​ @juliesland​ @iloveshawnieboi​ @unmagically​ @red-head011​ @poisonous00​ 

[startanewdream]

Use it well

Summary: Harry and Ginny discuss giving the Invisibility Cloak to their oldest son.

For @velvethopewrites! Hope you have a wonderful birthday 💖

Thanks so much for @gryffindorhealer for helping me sort out this!

______

'Al — no, stop it, I don't care what James said, you can't just take his wand — Lily, you don't fit in his trunk, get out — James, it's eleven already, just go to sleep — Al, I told you, no wand!'

There is a puff of dark purple smoke, and then silence.

Al drops the wand quickly, hurrying outside the room, Lily leaves James' trunk following her brother out, and Ginny shakes her wand to vanish the smoke.

'Thanks', James says, picking up his wand and placing it carefully on the bedside table, before lying lazily in his bed. 'Didn't fancy spending my last night here coughing that smoke.'

There is a smile in the corner of Ginny's mouth. 'Last night,' she repeats, amused. 'You are going to Hogwarts, not leaving here forever.'

James shrugs, eyes moving to watch his things, all meticulously ready for the trip tomorrow. He was never the most organized, but his enthusiasm is evident; he dreamt of Hogwarts ever since he saw Teddy going six years ago, talking about it non-stop.

And since Ginny is the last person that could judge him for wanting to do something his older brother did, she just messies with his dark red hair.

'Try to rest, James. You don't want to sleep through the journey tomorrow.'

'Did you?,' he asks curiously. 'Sleep the night before.'

Ginny remembers writing in Tom's diary the night before Hogwarts, sharing her excitement with him. That was before, when he was playing nice, when he was her friend.

But she doesn't want to damp James' mood, so she goes with: 'Not really. But my mother told me too anyway.'

He laughs a little, then he looks away, biting his lips, a telltale announcement of his embarrassment. 'Mum… before I sleep, could you call Dad?'

She feels a sudden urge to run and hug him. Eleven years, ready to start his magic education, acting all confident around his young siblings, and her first son wants his father's assurance.

But she doesn't do anything. She remembers hugging her parents before embarking Hogwarts, desperate to go after years dreaming of it, and yet a little afraid too.

'Sure. Good dreams, James.'

He smiles at her, and Ginny leaves the room.

She should check her other kids, but they are quiet in their room after that purple smoke and she will first get Harry.

But when she arrives at their room, Harry is sitting in the bed, a thoughtful look on his face, and to Ginny's surprise he holds his Invisibility Cloak in his hand, feeling the fabric.

She frowns for a moment before closing the door and sitting next to him, keeping her expression devoid of any concern.

'Crisis averted,' she announces quietly. 'Purple smoke drove the kids away.'

'Purple smoke?'

'Yeah, Albus was playing with James' new wand and this felt like a good occasion for a tiny drop of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. Albus thought he did it and they all thought they were in trouble, and that was the end.'

There is a shadow of a smile on his face, but his lips stay still. 'Good one.'

'Yeah, well, I use my tricks while they work. Soon enough they will be too smart for it.'

She waits for him to say something, but Harry just keeps looking sorrowful. Her hand flies to the back of his neck, massaging it, hoping to ease his tension.

'James called you. He wants some fatherly advice.'

'He is nervous.'

'More than he admits, yeah.'

'I was on my way to talk to him — sorry for letting you handle them alone —'

'Nothing I couldn't take care of, Harry,' she says, shrugging. 'Just between us, I will miss all this noise.'

'Yeah…'

Harry's mind is still far away. She lays her head over his shoulder, her hand touching his over the soft fabric of the cloak.

'What's going on, Harry?' she asks softly.

He sighs.

'I am going to give James the Invisibility Cloak.'

She nods, quietly. They've already discussed this — how Harry doesn’t use his cloak much anymore ever since he started working as Head Auror, how they can trust James to not make too much trouble —, but it seems something else is bothering him.

‘I thought of wrapping it, attaching a note to tell him to use it well, you know, all mysterious like the card I received, and I was going to, but… it felt weird.’

‘Why?’

He bites his lip, looking very much like his son doing the same, as much as James resembles Ginny more.

‘It’s the only thing I have,’ he whispers. When she looks confused, raising her eyebrows, he gives her a guilty look. ‘That was my father’s, only his.’

‘Oh.’

‘It’s stupid,’ he adds, looking sheeplish, and she can see the bricks he is using to build a wall around him. She entwines their fingers, and Harry closes his hand, pressing her fingers as if he wants to share her strength.

‘No, it’s not. It makes sense.’

‘No, I mean, this is as much mine as it’s James and Albus and Lily’s, it’s their inheritance too —’

‘I said it made sense, not that it was right,’ she notes kindly.

He nods. ‘I know. I feel so… spoiled, like I have this shiny toy I don’t want to lend to anyone —’

'Now you are being unfair,’ she cuts him. ‘You are many things, Harry, but spoiled you never were. Too humble for that, it was always your charm.’

‘But if I can’t give it away—’

‘You are not. Giving it away, I mean. I think you are just looking at it the wrong way. The Cloak will remain yours just as it will be James’, and someday Albus’ and Lily’s too’. Ginny turns to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Just like it still belongs to James Potter and your grandfather and all the family you once saw in that enchanted Mirror.’

Harry smiles distantly. ‘The first time I saw that Mirror I was using this Cloak. It was the first time I was seeing my family, you know?’ Ginny nods quietly. This is a story that always makes her eyes tear up a bit, but she won’t cry, not now. ‘I have so many good memories of this Cloak.’

‘We’ve even made a few,’ she notes, winking at him, and Harry almost chuckles. ‘I think cryptic messages are overrated. Just show the Cloak to James. He will love it.’ She hesitates just a little. ‘And… isn’t this better this way? Sharing this moment with him?’

He smiles sadly. ‘It’s what my father would want, right?’

Ginny sighs. ‘I don’t know. This is something we can only guess. But — what do you want?’

‘Well,’ his smile is a little more normal now, ‘he will get into much more trouble if he doesn’t have it.’

‘Harry,’ she calls softly. ‘Why do you want?’

He turns to her, raising his free hand to hold her face.

‘I want him to be happy. I want him to enjoy the Cloak like I did — less walks to the Forbidden Forest, though, more late night walks to the kitchen.’

‘He will,’ she assures him. ‘We made this world so he could have fun, not use it to survive.’

‘And this is all I wish for him,’ he says, more at ease now.

‘He will cherish this moment forever,’ she assures him, and Harry nods before placing a kiss softly on her lips.

‘Thanks, Gin.’

‘Anytime, Harry,’ she smiles. ‘Just don’t mention the Marauder’s Map, or he won’t ever stop pestering Teddy.’

Harry laughs.

She walks to kiss Lily good night and to turn off the light of Albus’ room (he always forgets it), making sure the blankets are covering them and they are finally resting. Then she goes back to James’ room, pausing at the door when she hears their laughs.

James laughs like Harry in his best moments — carefree, at ease, no weight on his shoulders.

She peeks inside. Only James’ head is visible as he tries the Invisibility Cloak, looking at himself in the mirror, while Harry beams at his son. Then James sits in the bed, still wearing the cloak as if he doesn’t ever want to lift it off, listening attentively to Harry.

'It's a powerful item, James, and yet as any magical thing it's only powerful as its owner. Be smart. Remember that others can still hear you, and don't forget to avoid people as you walk with it.'

'Isn't it obvious?'

'People forget more than you'd think', laughs Harry, and Ginny has a sudden memory of the time Hermione caught them… busy. 'Promise me you will share the Cloak with your brother and sister in the future. It belongs to you three.'

'Yeah, yeah', agrees James, and even though he doesn't look concerned, Ginny knows he will do as promised in the future. He may complain, but he always does everything for his siblings.

‘And, please, James, no trips to Hogsmeade or to the Forbidden Forest until you learn how to really defend yourself.’

James grins, nodding, and Harry hugs him — looking weirdly hugging the emptiness where his son's body is still invisible.

Watching them, Ginny thinks she was partially right. It’s not only James that will appreciate this moment. And though she told Harry they could only guess, she knows James’ namesake would enjoy it too.

[newtonsheffield]

Molly could we get a spicy Sunday post from good girls AU??

Good girls Kate and Anthony are wild things and I love to see it 🥵 Can we see them being more intimate and sweet during sexy times please, I love a bit of emotional bonding between them! You’re the best!

I know it is Monday in Australia, but it is still Sunday for me soooooo I was wondering if we could see some soft spice🌶 for good girls Kate and Anthony? Like maybe something more emotionally centered when they are teens? Please?

Okey Dokey Good Girls Kate and Anthony truly are the real horndogs of my AUCU But I also think the connection that they have is maybe one of the strongest. There's trauma bonding, there's flirting, there's dramatic declarations of love (or not so) and we love that for them.

Kate really did love everything about her boyfriend. Everything. The way his cheeky grin made her heart flutter, the way he ran around the house with his little brother on his shoulders, the fat that he'd marked his skin for her so confidently, the crown wrapped around his left wrist the one that tangled in her hair while she sucked his dick tha made him chuckle and gasp It looks like you're wearing it Princess. Like you deserve.

And really, after that sort of awkward first time had happened when her father had arrived home a little unexpectedly early just in time to hear her cry out (She'd told him she'd fallen over while Anthony hid in the wardrobe), The sex was nothing short of incredible. She loved everything about it. They way his skin slid against hers, the taste of him, the smell of him, the weight of his body against hers. And Anthony was so... eager to please, which maybe she should have expected about him but she hadn't. The very first time he'd slipped under her skirt, his hands tight on her legs she'd expected him to stop after she fell apart, but he'd smiled up at her for just a second, whispered You're so beautiful and dived right back in. And then Again, and Again. When he'd finished and she'd lain on her bed breathless and gasping, her shoulders heaving she'd gasped.

"Just give me a minute and I'll um... I'll do something for you."

And he'd laughed, her eyes shining down at her, "Not today. Have a nap." He'd pulled her against his chest and she'd frowned.

"But... You went down on me."

He'd looked more than a little smug, "You don't have to remind me, Princess, The memory is going to be very much burned into my mind. I think I'll probably think about this later tonight in the shower, and then tomorrow morning, probably tomorrow night."

"So you just... wanted to go down on me and you don't want me to go down on you in return?"

Anthony had looked a little startled, horrified almost, "It's not give and take Kate. This was about making you feel good, that makes me feel good."

And she'd fallen a little more in love with him.

Every single thing she'd said she was curious about, Anthony had done, he'd groaned, his head dropping to her shoulder when she said

"Do you want to 69?"

"Can you fuck me from behind?"

"Can I sit on your face?"

"Do you think your dick is big?"

That last one had gotten him.

He'd let out a choked "What?!" casting around his mother's living room for a distraction.

"Well I don't really have a frame of reference but like, when he was trying to get me to go down, Baz's seemed a lot smaller."

Anthony had looked very smug for the rest of the afternoon, and even more smug when he'd lain against his pillows his arm cushioning his head letting his muscles stretch, while the other hand guided her against him his voice rough What do you think Princess? How big does it feel?

And it might be true that most of the time Anthony bordered on rough, or at the very least possessive. His eyes burning into hers, fingertips bruising, teeth leaving marks where no one could see, And Kate loved it. Loved feeling him on her for days after he'd touched her, liked it probably more than was decent when they shagged in the abandoned bathroom upstairs at school and he tucked her knickers into his jacket for the rest of the day. But sometimes, Anthony needed something different, something more.

Like today, on the anniversary of his father's death. She'd known it was coming, she remembered the day it had happened, even when Anthony wouldn't talk about it. He'd drawn into himself, over the last week, smiling less, talking rarely and this morning he'd shown up at her house before breakfast, climbing up the tree outside her window, shouldering through it just as she woke.

He hadn't even said anything as he'd toed off his shoes, stripping down to his underwear before slipping into the sheets behind her.

"Hey, Honey." she'd spun in his arms, nuzzling against his neck providing the comfort he wouldn't ask for, but that must be the reason he'd come.

"Don't worry, I left my bike one street over, your mum and Dad won't know."

Kate had nodded, "Anthony, are you okay?"

He'd nodded, pulling back a little, his eyes so much sadder than he'd ever seemed, his heartbeat thundering away next to her ear as he leaned down to brush his lips to hers, his hand tilting her chin back to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping in, gliding against hers in a familiar way that had heat building in her stomach.

"Anthony are you sure-?" Her voice wobbled more than a little, suddenly terrified that he was asking for something he didn't want, using this in place of something else. But the way he looked at her cut the thought off.

His eyes pleading with her, the crease between his eyebrows, his voice almost begging her.

"Kate please, I just... I just want to feel loved today, even if just today. Can you just love me today?"

And it had nearly broken her heart.

She rolled to her back, tugging Anthony to settle in the cradle of her hips before sitting up to touch her lips the his again, softly at first but deeper and deeper, tongues tangling softly, lazily, as Anthony's hand started to roam under her shirt, desperately trying to tug it from her.

"Anthony, I'll love you forever if you let me."

His forehead dropped to her, a soft huff escaping him as he stared into her eyes for a long moment, before his lips dropped to her neck, sucking gently against the skin there, his hands tugging at her shorts until they disappeared along with his, before his hands settled on her hips, guiding her gently against him, his fingers inching slowly up her thigh.

He let out a pained groan as they found their mark, moving against her pushing her forward, higher, encouraging her against his hand, his lips swallowing her gasps and moans the air seeming to thicken around them desperately. And then it crashed over her like a wave on the beach, slowly built and softly fallen.

Still a little breathless she pushed Anthony's hair back from his eyes, as she slid down against the mattress, tugging him down to cover her, Anthony took a deep breath his voice shaking

"I love you. I'm not enough but I love you."

"If I only ever have you, It'll be enough." She was still breathless, still fighting for it as her hips started moving against him, his forehead dropping to hers with a sharp groan, the arms of his muscles flexing beautifully with the exertion, his hair falling into his eyes, tickling against her skin. She could feel it, their hearts beating in time, sweat mingling, breath leaving his body ad entering hers, connecting, eyes locked together as he pushed them higher and higher, the sounds of them moving together filling the room, his voice wrenched from his chest,

Kate, Kate, Kate, I love you, I love you, I love you

mixing with her own desperate voice.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you Anthony. Wanting it to settle into his skin like a tattoo, like the marks her fingernails were leaving on his back.

And with their eyes locked together they fell over the edge, Anthony shuddering against her, holding him against her chest as she came down, the sweat cooling on their skin.

How long they stayed like that, she couldn't tell, but sometime later, she slipped from his arms, crossing to the desk in the corner, plucking a purple sharpie from it as Anthony's eyes burned curiously into her back.Kate slid back into bed beside him, forcing Anthony to roll onto his back as she straddled him, uncapping the pen.

"Whenever you need me to tell you I love you, today, or any other day, Just look down."

Anthony smiled softly, as he looked down at the 8 letters she'd scrawled over his beating heart.

"Can you come with me, today?"

She'd nodded, sighing as she heard footsteps down the hall,

"Get dressed and come through the front door."

He nodded, their lips brushing again as he slid from the window. And the next time he pulled his shirt off tears sprang to her eyes when she saw the purple ink he'd made permanent, her words inked into his skin forever.