#I know this probably won't reach very far on here but I'm proud of it so I'm posting it anyway

[sarahserinde]

My craft for this year's Desert Bus charity fundraiser goes up for auction tomorrow!

It'll happen live on stream at twitch.tv/desertbus at 10am PST so maybe come watch even if you're not planning on bidding.

You can see the listing for it here and learn more about Desert Bus here.

[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

[pvlvsdog]

How experienced are they and would you finish

Nsfw themes!

Dante has no idea if they are experienced or not so they are pretty much ruled a virgin until further notice. They didn't forget everything but they still manage to stress over getting something wrong. They’re clumsy and stressed out the first few times, but receptive to feedback. Just kind of too frantic to really follow through on it fully. If you're really into them, finishing is not out of the question, they are trying really hard. But the situation is really hard to navigate for them. They do care about you finishing more than getting to a climax themselves. Something about being constantly conditioned to be seen as a mere tool does that to a person

I firmly believe Ishmael has the knowledge surpassing all humanity when it comes to that area. Being on the sea does that to a person. So she knows exactly what to do and though she might judge you a bit (or at least tease you), she will go along with your fantasies and needs. There is not a thing that she wouldn't at least consider. And so you will have no problem finishing

I'm sorry but Heathcliff, to me, has not had sex. Ever. He’s not very experienced to put it lightly and im low-key bordering on making a claim here that you would probably have to put it in for him. He’s far to repressed/sexually frustrated and inexperienced not to miss the hole (either hole, really). But! He is certainly… eager. And wants to please you. To treat you good. Might be a leftover from his past, the same thing that I mentioned in the skinny dipping headcanons. So, while it would be clumsy sex for sure, he would do his best to make you orgasm. Make sure to praise him when you do, it'll make him very proud

Well, I would assume that Meursault fucked? I think he has decent experience and enough of deeply buried desires to be decent in bed. No problems with making you finish either

Rodya is a bit tricky because despite being experienced and knowing what to do with herself, your orgasm really depends on who you are to her. In sexual encounters she prioritizes herself. Learned that from an early age. If she won't take care of her needs, nobody will. So she might as well lead sex in such a way that satisfies her. If you're a drunken one night stand or she's not ready to consider you as a permanent part of her life, sex life included, she will do everything to finish herself. You're just along for the ride. Nothing personal, its not like she would do anything to prevent you from reaching the climax. But before a certain level of commitment, she wouldn't see it as a priority

Don also has a solid amount of experience. She does her best so that both of you finish, since she thinks that's just fair. And way more fun for her to be honest

With Ryoshu it’s 50/50 because I think she definitely had sexual encounters before. She’s a bit rusty though, since she hasn't had sex in a bit. You finishing is more so about what you're into because, just as she is with the act of killing, this too is art for her. She doesn't do quickies, doesn't do fast, desperate spikes of desire. The act of sleeping together is an experience she wants to live through fully and thus, there's a lot she will do before letting you come

Hong Lu is a mystery to me. I mean… he definitely isn't a virgin but im not sure how many sexual encounters that man had had. It could go anywhere between 3 and 300 and it wouldn't be any more surprising to me. But I think his willingness to try out your suggestions and openness to go with the flow would definitely make it easier for you to come. Like, if the current position isn't doing it for you, he’ll switch no problem, searching for a way to also give you pleasure. Sure, it’s a new concept for him. To not be the sole center of things. But he goes with the flow easily. It’s just a fun switch up for him to take a more active role

Outis fucked. And definitely made love too, but that was before the war took its toll on her. She's more familiar with quickies these days. If she actually puts you somewhere high in the hierarchy, she’ll do her best to please you. But if you're just ‘the best thing there was’ don't expect her to try hard. If you don't come she might actually act disappointed in you honestly. Are you really going to make her do all the work? She did her part, it’s on you if you didn't orgasm

With Faust it’s a bit unclear because I can't really see her seeking out sex too often but also like… she is a woman of science, she definitely tried in the very least. So she isn't totally inexperienced but making advances on someone to sleep with them is not an initiative she often takes, I think. Her actual skills might be a bit lacking but again, she has knowledge, so she’s definitely got a rough idea as to what she’s supposed to do to make you finish. I do see her as a more passive party in general, though

I might be a bit rough at writing Yi Sang. In my head, he definitely has had some sex, more than most would assume. But it’s not a very recent thing for him either. Not a very distant memory but there was a little break he had since the last time he had sex. Don't think about what I could be implying too hard (especially since I'm not sure how that would work physically). His skills are pretty good and the ability to just go along with things definitely helps. So in the end you have a pretty good chance at finishing. He’s not the best on the bus, but the probability is pretty high

Oh, it’s a bit tricky with Greg. If he were just an average soldier, he would have a much more extensive list of experiences. But as the “poster boy�� it’s less likely that he got to have some undetected casual sex on the side. I mean, historically speaking, it’s not uncommon for those that have to partake in wars to blow off steam in such way. He wasn't an average soldier though so it hindered such possibility for him. And to sleep with a civilian after he got out… well he probably tried. Maybe succeeded once or twice. But even that is up for debate. He’s way too repulsed by his own body and even more scared of that same body acting up. So he’s very nervous and clumsy, restraining himself for a very long time. He feels like he has to “make it up to you” (and by ‘it’ I mean having sex with him, he see that as a charity case kind of situation) so he will do his best to make you finish. He lacks a lot of stamina and experience though. Feels awful if he doesn't make you come and does wonder if a part of it is because of his physique. Especially since it's not that hard to make him finish so he doesn't like when he doesn't manage to return the favour

Now I firmly believe Sinclair is a virgin. I think he and Heathcliff could be in competition for the place of the least experienced. And given Heath’s past, Sinclair would win, I recon. There are two possible routes sex with him could take. Most likely is a nervous, shirt-on encounter born out of pure hornyness that often overcomes him. There is a possibility that his anger issues aid him and he takes more initiative (while making things definitely more rough). In both cases he’s going to be clumsy, sexually frustrated and very fast to finish. You on the other hand… have less of a chance to do the same. Post nut clarity hits him hard and he will grow silent and distant, withdrawing whilst letting his insecurity flood his brain with double the force

[etherfabric]

woah! free readings from you are a dream come true, thank you! ☺ can I join please? If yes, any advice would be really appreciated and I would like to leave to you too when it comes to the deck

thank you very much for your time and energy! I appreciate 🌷

I am very flattered by your message. :3

You were the first person ever sending me one! I remember.

For your reading, I chose the Thoth Tarot deck, and 4 cards jumped out:

10 of Disks, Art, Queen of Disks, 9 of Cups

This spread includes two of my favorite cards, Art (Crowley gave Temperance this new name) and the Queen of Disks.

This reads to me like a reminder to enjoy everything you already have. The fulfillment you are looking for is not found in striving for the next best thing, it's becoming still and receptive enough to let your abundant present reach and touch you with all its inherent blessings. You worked hard for what you have, but switching out of that "achiever" mindset into a "receiver" mindset is the last step between you and bliss.

This probably won't happen instantaneously (or maybe it does, sometimes it works like that), so start with something you already have a pretty good connection with to tap into that energy of "I already have so much", and build from there. Maybe paying close attention to a friend's face when they are talking, or intentionally spending time with your pet. Maybe it's that pair of pants that always makes you feel best when you wear them, and you think back on where you got them, really pay attention to how the fabric feels. Be intentionally grateful for having a bed to lie in. Everything you would miss if it were gone tomorrow.

Or to get very basic - tune into your body.

This vessel through which everything you know about life on Earth is even perceivable to you. All your sensations, thoughts, emotions have their origin right here. Something that really helps me loving my body in a fair, non-tainted-by-capitalism way is thinking of it in the same silently appreciative way like I think of a tree. Home of many tiny organisms, giving them life without even trying, even after my death. Wrinkles, pimples and bumps on my skin are the texture of bark, they make it interesting and rich of tactile feedback when I touch it. My hair has many forms and states, just like leaves and moss. It can speak of which season I am in. I can listen to what it sounds like in my hands. My fat and bones form a whimsical trunk housing my nutrients, and flexible branches that reach for what I need to live. Nature made all of this with a purpose in mind that goes far beyond arbitrary optical standards. I am a manifestation of life itself.

I see a great opportunity for growth: De-shaming the concept of actively being proud of yourself. Being your own fan. Daring to be on your side. Being a detective on your own case of loveability. You think you are just two compliments away from being a raging narcisisst, so you rather humble yourself routinely, for the world's sake, to not have one more asshole walking among us. ...Not to get too personal, but you are way off with that estimation. This is an excuse to not face your abysmal sense of self worth. It feels icky not being good at something, especially when it feels as wrong as complimenting yourself, but the cards say you have so much to choose from. There is so much already there waiting to be seen by you, that will make it much easier for you to understand why you are great, capable and loveable, and deserve to see yourself that way everyday, like second nature, no biggie, of course I'm awesome.

The best part: You don't have to do anything new or extra, just find new combinations of thoughts, emotions, actions that are already in your repertoire. Mix and match until it clicks. You got this.

This was a lovely reading to tap into. I hope it resonated, I would love to hear about it.

[go1denoracle]

Twistober Day 3: Twisted tsumerland!

I lasted about 2 days of non-Ruggie posting into this challenge. I'm proud of myself!

Warning: One Yuusona is very important to the plot! If you don’t like oc x Canon, this probably won't be your cup of tea.

"Where the hell is that stupid plushie?!"

Ruggie ran through every nearby hallway for his tiny lookalike, but he couldn't find the plush anywhere. Even with his more sensitive hearing and smell, he couldn't locate the small plushie anywhere. The sneaky little thing was no where to be found.

When Ruggie had heard his tsum had been stealing people's lunches and disappearing, he hadn't thought much of it. He had assumed that the Ruggie-tsum had been stealing food for the Leona-tsum or just using its cute looks to its advantage to get itself a meal. Either way, it wasn’t his fault if people weren't paying attention to their food and the toy ended up swiping it. He was just annoyed people were coming to him about their grievances with the tsum. It wasn't like he could control the thing.

At least, that's what he thought before it stole his food.

The little plush couldn't have gone far, it was barely the size of a kitten. How fast could that thing possibly go? It was like it disappeared into thin air. Ruggie let out a chuckle of annoyance when he noticed the faint scent of dandelions and clean fabric. There it was!

He followed the dull scent down a hallway to an empty classroom. The tsum had to have gone this way at some point. He slammed open the door to find... Fang Yu sketching on a piece of paper. With no tsum in sight.

Ruggie was confused, "What?"

Fang looked up from her book and asked sweetly, "Do you need something?"

Ruggie sniffed the air again. The scent was still strong. It had to have been here sometime. Fang raised her eyebrow at him.

Ruggie finally asked, "Have you seen my tsum anywhere?"

There was a pause of silence. Ruggie knew Fang well enough to know the silence was out of character. If Fang did or didn't know, she usually responded immediately.

"Why are you looking for it?" Fang asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, the stupid plushie stole my lunch," Ruggie huffed while crossing his arms.

Fang gave him a look of surprise, "it stole your lunch?"

"Why else would I be looking for it? Normally, I don't care what it does."

Fang looked away sheepishly for a moment before reaching down. Ruggie looked at her confused until he heard the panicking squeaking noises as she placed the now alarmed tsum on the desk in front of her. The tsum still had his lunch, so Ruggie swiped it back. But the plush wasn't focused on him.

"I'm so sorry! But I have to make sure that the bigger Ruggie didn't starve too!" Fang tried to console the tiny tsum.

The tsum looked up at Fang, absolutely betrayed. Well, as betrayed as its tiny face could be. Ruggie ate his lunch as he watched Fang try and comfort the tiny creature. As he watched the distraught plush, a thought passed his mind.

"Have you been hiding that thing whenever it's been stealing food?" Ruggie blurted out.

Fang blushed out of embarrassment before answering, "Yeah... I have."

Fang continued in vain to comfort the little tsum to no success. Ruggie laughed at her unsuccessful attempts to make the tsum happy again. In Ruggie's opinion, the tsum looked more concerned with the fact that Fang sold it out rather than the fact that it lost a meal, but Fang didn't notice it.

"How about I make a batch of donuts for you? Would that make you happy again?" Fang compromised to the tsum tsum.

The tsum seemed unhappy but willing to accept the trade when Fang cheered and kissed it on the forehead. Ruggie felt a flash of annoyance as the tsum happily bounced in Fang's hands again. Fang handed Ruggie the happily tsum and started running towards the door.

"I'll come back with donuts, I promise!" Fang yelled as she ran out the door, presumably to make the donuts.

Ruggie looked at the door Fang left through, processing what had just happened. He begrudgingly brought the tsum back to Savanaclaw. The tsum seemingly felt his ire as the two made it back to Savanaclaw because it tried squirming out of his arms. Ruggie held on tight, though, keeping it in his grip until they made it back to his dorm room so he could let the tsum run wild there. He glared at the offending ball of felt the entire time.

About 2 hours later, Fang came into his room with a box of freshly baked donuts. Ruggie scowled at the plush as Fang handed it the box. However, Fang turned her head towards him and made a shushing motion before handing him a paper bag with some donuts while the tsum was distracted. Ruggie felt much better as he watched Fang giggle over the small plush.

"I'm so glad you're not mad at me anymore," Fang happily exclaimed as she watched the tsum eat the donuts.

"Thanks, Fang," Ruggie said as he hid his donuts from the plushie's view.

"You don't have to thank me!" Fang blushed as she waved him off.

Ruggie smirked internally. Take that you stupid piece of fluff, he thought. Fang giggled, clearly happy that the little creature appreciated her baking. Then she gave it another forehead kiss as she left to study. The tsum looked smugly at him while her back was turned.

Ruggie was going to chuck the thing out the f***ing window.

[chanis-banani]

hello hello! I really like the fluff campaign you are doing currently, it makes me feel like a proud friend :) I was wondering if you could maybe write a fluff about hiking with jiung <33

I'll write anything for you ~~~ Just know that you gave me an excellent concept to bully you with 👀 (though I could probably do that with any concept, let's be real)

warning: reader has a fear of heights

word count: ±700

I'm sorry the collage got a bit ugly, but what's important is that it gets the point across

Hiking with Jiung was a huge mistake.

It started off just fine: you and Jiung took a nice, relaxing walk through a wooded area. The weather was great, birds were chirping, the atmosphere was nice. Both of you took your time to admire the magnificent nature around you.

But then disaster struck. Jiung told you that he "knew a spot", and that spot was all the way at the top of a dead volcano.

Considering your fear of heights, your first instinct told you to run. But he kept telling you over and over again how beautiful it was and how much fun it would be to hike up the mountain. His enthusiasm made him so cute that he managed to convince you eventually.

So now you were hiking up this stupid mountain while the hot sunlight was beating down on you. Jiung was so excited that he was walking ahead of you, stopping every now and then to inspect a little plant or critter more closely. He only paid attention to you when he had something to tell you about some insect he found.

As you progressed higher up the mountain, you could feel that shaky feeling in your legs. You made sure to stay as close as possible to the rocky walls on your left, so you were far away from the edge on your right. Even though it wasn't steep at all, the height was enough to make your heart beat like crazy.

"Jiung... are we almost there yet?" you said a little desperately. Jiung was at least 10 meters ahead of you, but he quickly turned around when he heard your voice. "Yeah, it won't be much longer now. Why?" He went over to you with a slightly concerned look on his face. "It's so high," you replied hesitantly.

"O my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't think of that!" he called out, referring to your fear of heights. "Are you alright? The path is pretty wide, so you don't have to be close to the edge. Here, take my hand." He gave you a reassuring look as he took your hand in his. "I'll walk on the right side so I will be between you and the edge. Then rather than looking down, you can just look at me instead."

Your heart was still racing when you clung to Jiung, but now it wasn't just due to fear. He continued to hold you tightly as you continued towards the top of the mountain and he made sure to stay between you and the edge. To distract you from the height, he told you a whole story about the migration patterns of the monarch butterfly, which made you feel little butterflies in your stomach.

"I think we're just in time," Jiung said when you finally reached the top of the mountain. "Just go as far as you feel comfortable with," he told you as he guided you past the observatory, towards the edge.

The two of you sat down in the grass together and finally you understood why Jiung wanted to bring you here. As the sun began to set, a beautiful golden light lit up the village at the bottom of the mountain. Even though it was very high, you felt less anxious now that you could sit and it also helped that Jiung was still tightly holding your hand.

A gentle breeze blew through your hair and the air smelled deliciously of grass and flowers. When you looked at Jiung, the golden light cast a peachy glow on his face. In that moment you just knew that you would never forget how beautiful he looked there.

With a feeling of fulfillment, you closed your eyes and rested your head on Jiung's shoulder, soaking up the last bit of sunlight for that day. In return, he gave your hand a little squeeze and rested his head against yours.

"It's pretty, right?" he asked you softly.

"Very pretty..."

"That's why you had to see it. It suits you."

[amelias-zelda-calamity-quintet]

Goddess of Secrecy & Mark of a Hero: Should You Read Both?

Ok, I know I've talked not amazingly about GoS some on this blog so far. Most of that is because I'm stuck in the middle of edits with it and so you know. My opinion of it isn't the best right now.

That said, I do still adore GoS. It's a story I'm proud of. It's a story I will be prouder of after edits. And it's a reflection of my growth as a storyteller. I'm sure the chart of what that looks like is interesting with the hiatuses mixed in there, but here we are. And on top of that, GoS was/is really well liked over on Wattpad. It is creeping up on 300,000 reads and it didn't get there for nothing. Is it big? Yeah, absolutely. It's got nothing on MoaH though in size. GoS will likely reach about 500,000 words by the time it's done with edits. MoaH hit that word count at the end of act 3 of book 2 (of 9).

That said, GoS & MoaH do share lore connections. MoaH continues GoS's timeline with the most interconnection of any of my fics (they are all generally on the same timeline, but really only GoS & MoaH focus on it). Now, MoaH is standalone, you don't have to read GoS to enjoy MoaH's lore. But. If you have read both, the lore does expand on each other. There are also easter eggs in MoaH based on GoS (a non-spoiler one is that GoS's Sages are on Hart's cards in their oracle deck). If that's something you enjoy, GoS is slowly releasing chapters in its first phase of edits onto AO3 now as well as the chapters are being edited and released on Wattpad with banners, I will be putting out announcements as we get through to the end of dungeons (~10 chapters). It is at probably its most approachable point right now as it goes through phase 1 edits. They said about the 197 chapter fic, I know, but like. It is at its smallest right now. I'm aiming to get 2-3 chapters out a week, so it's gonna add up eventually.

I like to think that GoS is to MoaH lore-wise what The Hobbit is to The Lord of the Rings. A more kid friendly, shorter, and tonally very different prequel to the main series it follows. Can you read one without reading the other? Yes. Are both expanded by how they interconnect? That's the goal. I mean, if I'm gonna put out something massive like this, I ought to at least make sure y'all get some fun out of it for reading both.

And to answer the phase 1 edits thing real fast, I realized very quickly into GoS that I was going to have to break up edits into two parts. Phase 1 is "What the fuck did I write 12 years ago" where I rediscover some of the things this brain at 16 years old thought was a good idea to write and publish. Some of these things are the reason we're putting out phase 1 immediately over waiting to get through phase 2 for releases. I don't want the original text to exist anymore. Some of it was just bad. Offensive. I mean it's offensive and I don't want that available to read for as much as I can prevent it so the Wattpad chapters have to be replaced. But also, I worked on this book for over 12 years, I forgot a lot of what I wrote and I have no notes from the entire process. So we're getting the story in order, the yikes cut out, and then we'll go into phase 2, which is:

"Ok, but some of these chapters are only 1k." Phase 2 of GoS edits aims to get the word count of chapters, minimum, up to 1.5k. Ideally, up to 2k. GoS is shorter for chapter goals, that's lower than my goals for MoaH chapters (which seems to be adding a thousand per book, but we'll see how book 3 goes), but some of these chapters in GoS barely qualified as chapters. They have plot points I think deserve the breaks! But they need more description. Less floating heads. More details. At that point, the story will be there though because of phase 1 and I will know better where they go, so phase 2 won't really add anything new plot wise, it'll just make what's there better in presentation.

As I've said previously, GoS is being backdated for its original publication, mostly for the archival process of it. It is linked on the pinned post of this blog if you wanna give it a go.

[bathsaltsmcgee]

My thoughts on HH and some other stuff, too

Wow, y'all. Just... just Wow.

Okay, first off, I just wanted to say that I am absolutely blown away by the sheer amount and scope of all the attention that I've gotten this past week or so regarding my story BtM. I was truly not expecting that, and for my readership to explode exponentially since the last time I posted, it's amazing to me the number of followers I've gained, the people who've stopped by to say hello, the messages, the comments, the subscriptions and favorites, the everything else, and I just wanted to say thank you.

Reading everyone's reactions and seeing them get so excited and hyped up about something that I truly care about really makes writing worth it.

So, I'm thrilled that everyone's having so much fun. :D I know I am!

Anyway, I've had a couple people reach out to me, requesting my thoughts regarding the first season of Hazbin Hotel, and I thought to myself, 'Oh, why not?'

So, here we are.

Overall, I greatly enjoyed it. The animation was crisp and pretty to look at, the songs were absolute bops, as was the background soundtrack, the overarching narrative was interesting, and the characters, barring a few notable exceptions here and there- *cough* icky moth man who needs squished flat with a metal cleat and the world's first grandiose malignant narcissist- were quite enjoyable.

They were all well written, of course, but, good Lord, some of them were just truly heinous people.

I think, out of that of all of the new characters to which we were introduced in the series that didn't hold speaking roles in the pilot, I think my favorite was a tie between Rosie and Emily. Rosie was exactly who I hoped she'd be, Dolly Levi with a dash of Mary Poppins- she even gave out her business card to that one cannibal lady like Dolly did all the time in 'Hello Dolly'- and Emily was such an adorable little bean. We need more of both those ladies in the future.

The biggest surprise out of the whole show for me, though, was finding out that the hotel actually worked. I genuinely was not expecting that, and I suspect that the exercises that Charlie was making everyone do didn't really do that much, but the situations in which the characters found themselves and how they chose to react to those situations because of their experiences at the hotel were what really clinched it in the end.

I'm very proud of Pen, though. Good for you, man. Goin' out like a champ and getting into Heaven by total accident. Well done.

Mind you, I did have a few gripes here and there, such as the rushed nature of the pacing, but I doubt that I'm alone in that particular camp. The pacing of the overarching narrative was a bit rushed for my taste, and when I'm watching a show, I would prefer not to feel at the end of it like I was in the middle of a caffeine bender.

If I'm going to do that, I'll drink two pots of coffee, follow it up with a latte, and see where it goes from there.

It was almost like deciding to make soup, but not adding any water to the condensed can, so it ended up way too thick and not nearly as smooth as it could've been, had the water been included.

Had they taken the same amount of plot and spread it out over twelve episodes, instead of just eight, it would've been a bit more evenly balanced, and we might have gotten more character moments and interactions to really sell the growing bonds between the main cast, which would've made the other narrative points that much more powerful, such as Pen's noble sacrifice.

However, the number of episodes was probably down to studio constraints and the bigwigs decision to keep the series compressed because money, so I won't hold that against the production team.

That's just business. It happens. No big deal.

So, all in all, it was a fun little romp. Alastor is still my favorite character, because he's just so interesting and multifaceted, and by the end of the season, I had far more questions about him than I did answers.

This is a good thing, though.

I'd be disappointed if he were too easy a character to read.

There's a lot going on there with him, and his morality is too grey and muddled with far too many unknown factors to make a definitive take on him just yet. I still think that my initial understanding of him is on the right track, such as his MO, but I am curious to see where this goes in the official narrative.

So, yes, I will be staying tuned for the next season.

However... just curious here.

Are we really going to have to wait another two years for the next season?!

Because I heard a rumor circulating that that was the case, and I'm kind of hoping that's not accurate.

[readingloveswounds]

Sorry if this is too personal, but I really admire you as an early academic from what you share on here, and I'm curious about what your parents' education level is? I'm a first generation college student and the first in my family to get a PhD, so I often feel very small next to people whose parents went to college or even got a PhD. I'm wondering what's your own experience?

I am incredibly flattered by this :,)

My parents both have PhDs in the sciences - my dad went BA -> PhD and my mom got a degree (BS maybe?), worked for a while, then went for a PhD. My dad's side of the family is extremely well-educated - his mom was the first female chemist at the company she worked for in the 50s, a great great grandmother was a literal doctor, and there's a lot of ministers going pretty far back. My mom on the other hand was the first person in her family to go to college and then the first person in her family to get a PhD. It was already big deal that her parents graduated high school.

I give this background because I find it really important to how I treat my own educational path.

It's sometimes a little scary - when I was doing poorly in college I sometimes wondered if I was letting my mom down. She worked so hard to get educated and give me opportunities and now am I wasting all that? That's my own anxieties talking, but I guess the better way to put it is that she set the bar high and I want to reach it.

I have immense privilege in how I navigate the educational system - my mom worked for admissions at a university for a little while as well, so she was able to help me with college applications. She'd had no help because her family simply did not know. She was able to help me again with grad school applications and she and my dad can kind of advise me on some grad school things, even if science and humanities are very different (not to mention they were in school like 30 years ago).

It's having talked to the two differently educated sides of my family that I think makes me really want to help people with things that for some seem obvious, because it's not actually obvious for everyone. Not everyone has had the same opportunities, not everyone can just text and ask. So I want to be someone people can ask questions to, even if I don't have all the answers.

It also perhaps goes to show that even with the many advantages I do have, there's a whole lot that I don't know. Neither of my parents went into academia beyond postdocs, so this whole job market thing is new territory entirely. I have to ask my advisor "stupid" (they're not stupid, I just don't know even the basics) questions where I go "can you explain this because I don't know what it looks like at all."

I won't go on a whole rant about the way some academics look at non academics and how that's especially accentuated in my case by how northeast academics look at the South, but some people just don't understand that people could have different experiences, different priorities, different backgrounds and it really, really frustrates me. I don't want to look down on people! I want to share! Suffice to say that the different sides of my family understand differently what I'm doing, but I want to share my project and my prospects with them in ways that they can all understand. I'm very lucky that both sides are supportive.

I can understand why you might feel small next to people coming from education background, but you worked for this and you got right there with them. That's the thing!! You got there! They have had advantages you didn't, but you got there. Knowing some of my mom's experiences, it's not easy, I can imagine it's intimidating, and you've had to do twice as much work to understand the system in ways that they haven't. You should be proud of that, as exhausting as it probably has been. I'm glad you made it.

[masterwords]

✨ 2022 Writing Year In Review ✨

Many thanks to @spencer-reids-adventures and @domestikhighway58 for tagging me here. <3 Pretend I'm doing this on time...I spent ALL DAY yesterday at a children's wrestling tournament (seriously, 10 hours in a high school gym with hundreds of people...I can feel all the germs invading my body as we speak) so I didn't have the lifeforce remaining to use my brain. (This got long so I put most of it under a cut.)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 85! Holy moly.

2. Word count posted for the year: 470,122

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Criminal Minds, The Punisher (sort of...I shipped Frank Castle with Hotch so...) & Fargo

4. Pairings: AHAHAAA! Oh. Okay. Hotch/Morgan. .... ......... I did write a small amount of Hotch/Blackwolf, Hotch/Will and Hotch/Reid. But let's be real here. I am an OTP girl and Hotch & Morgan are married in my mind.

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Catching Sparks

Bookmarks: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Catching Sparks.

Comments: missing pieces of sleep, but a close second and non-collab was Running Toward Nothing.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Probably Running Toward Nothing, because it was hard for me to finish. It took so many twists and turns, and I didn't plan it out well enough (story of my life)...it was written for a challenge, and it was not at all what I imagined it would be when I started. But I also wound up really loving it by the end.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Cold Hands. Hotch/Reid isn't my ship already and I just felt very...like I could have done better. I don't dislike the story but I don't feel very proud of it either.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

By far, my favorite was @olivinesea putting me in jail repeatedly for The Silence Drowns (a different take on the Foyet arc).

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

May/June/July. Something about that 3 month span, my kids in baseball, I don't know. I couldn't write shit and it was stressing me out. Thankfully it came back to me eventually.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Writing Foyet the way I did in The Silence Drowns was really an experience, focusing so hard on his POV, devoting entire chapters to how he did what he did and what he did when we didn't see him...that was really fun. And flipping the switch on Reid and turning him into the antagonist while also royally fucking up his life in Running Toward Nothing was interesting too.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

He moved slow, still half-asleep. One rrrrrrip and he tore into the tissue to reveal a soft blanket. Too soft. Velvety, thick, plush. He couldn't make out the strange array of colors and buried his fist inside of it in order to pull it out. The bag and tissue paper were quickly discarded, and Derek reached out to grab the bottom two corners, helping move this along faster. He really had to go. Quickly, he splayed the blanket out over the bed. It was huge and almost impossible in the dark and from Hotch's angle to make out the pattern at first.

Derek grinned proudly the moment he caught the realization on Hotch's stiff features. “Is that...your face?”

“Sure is,” Derek announced, pushing the tissue paper back into the bag and tossing it aside. “So you won't forget me while I'm gone.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that's likely to happen?” He had abdominal surgery, not brain surgery. He'd been trying to be gentle with Derek since it happened, the man was pulling double duty as Unit Chief and primary caregiver, burning the candle at both ends. In some ways, Hotch was glad they had a case that would take him out of town, maybe he'd get a break. He could focus entirely on the job and not worry about how Hotch was going to get from the bed to the toilet and back at 3am. Having the catheter had removed the need for that step but it was fleeting. He was on his own now. He was also doing just fine, he thought. No falls, a couple of near misses but he'd caught himself each time.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Hotch replied quietly, smoothing it beneath slow hands. He was losing the battle with his tired body. “It's beautiful.” It was. In that way that heartfelt things often were, their beauty didn't lie in aesthetics. He wouldn't put this blanket on display in the front room, perhaps, but he adored it nonetheless. "It'll keep me warm as I convalesce." He'd been using that word a lot in the last few days, Derek noted. It was his boredom talking, finding ways to make light of his situation in order to soften the blow that he could barely manage a walk from his bed to the kitchen without being significantly winded and ready for a nap. He'd been refining new jokes, mostly biting sarcasm that came out a little slow but didn't sting any less. Jess was the recipient more often than Derek, being around more. He'd dare her to steal the blanket, just to see, but he was pretty sure she wasn't going to try it. Not with Derek's enormous face right there. Derek managed to create the one thing she'd stay far away from. She was probably going to call it creepy.

“As you convalesce, huh?"

Hotch nodded and smiled, smoothing his hands over the soft fabric. He was so out of it. Derek didn't mind. He was struggling with this slower lifestyle, something he'd be at for the next few weeks. A few more days and the staples could come out, after that he thought things would get better. Maybe speed up a bit. Slowing down wasn't in the Hotch playbook of life, but he was dealing.

From Convalesce

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

I'm not sure I did until the end when I realized I didn't need to over-think editing quite so much, and I should really just have fun. I spent most of the year stressing out over it and not enjoying it as much as usual. No more of that. I also decided that I don't mind so much being a one trick pony. I want to write about Hotch/Morgan more than anything else and I gave myself permission to just indulge it as often as I felt like it.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to detach my worth as a writer from the interaction I receive. I do my best to maintain that mindset, and I hope to settle in better with it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

I mean, I probably should just simplify this and say it was Hotch & Morgan, really. Nearly everything I wrote this year centered around those two so I think I would be remiss not to acknowledge them as the muses they are. All of my friends, all of you incredible amazing writers I am fortunate enough to consider my friends...you have all influenced me positively. I can never thank you enough.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Uh..hahaha! Yeah. I included lots of sports dad/coach moments, a lot of Jack because of my kids, you know...that kind of thing. Nothing huge...but this? Yeah. My life.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

You can focus less on editing. Don't edit at the expense of posting your stories, yo. Don't overthink it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I'm looking forward to actually finishing a bunch of these multi-chapter stories that I've been dragging out forever. Writing more with @domestikhighway58 on our Hotch/Reid story, diving in to the SWAT and retired in Chicago series more...so much.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@eldrai @olivinesea and anyone else who really wants to fill this out!

[asterhaze]

Welcome To My Camp

Genre: Light Horror, Long? Post.

I am very smart. Very, very, very smart. So smart, in fact, that I have done all the things. I have made an entire camp out here in the woods, all by myself, with no help at all. I'm sure someone would be proud of me but I'm not sure who. But wait! I'm getting distracted.

Right over here, there is a pile of logs. They are sticky and smelly, which tells my very smart and genius brain that I cut them down just yesterday. I am so cool. I distinctly remember picking up the axe, a big huge thing that's nearly as long as I am tall, and smacking it straight into the tree. I did this over and over until the tree toppled down, crushing everything in its path, before continuing to chop, chop, chop, until the big tree became tinier logs. I made the logs tiny so I can help with the fire.

Oh boy, the fire is the neatest thing about this place. It's right in the middle of everything! I remember building the fire a few days ago. First, I took a bunch of sticks and leaves, lit a match, and caught all the little things on fire. Don't tell my aunt. I'm not allowed to play with fire AT ALL. Not even a little. But this is the wilderness here, so I don't feel bad. Not one bit.

Then I had to make a special fire...though I'm not sure why. I'm not even sure what the point is...but it looks super cool. Honestly, and I'm not sure if I should say this, I'm pretty sure I made it because I really like smoke. Just look at it. There's a lot of small sticks and twigs, logs I'm surprised I could carry, and a bunch of green needles from the spikey tree. I think the green needles and the sappy wood is what is causing all this white smoke to float all over the place.

I have had a couple bad ideas though. Heck, I'm just a kid! What do you expect? Like bringing 5 backpacks. Two of these backpacks are super big, way too big for my shoulders, so I'm pretty sure they're just decoration. I've found some stuff that doesn't make a lot of sense in those things. Like books without a single, not even ONE, picture in it. Maybe I'm supposed to draw my own in there...but the words are big and boring and there's a whole world to see!

There are two backpacks that are smaller and make more sense. They're brightly colored, they glow in the dark along the straps, and have some really neat things in them. Like crayons, paper, and books that are actually worth a darn. There's also snacks in some of them, which I've been eating a little bit of every day. Sometimes I think they're gross, sometimes I remember that I really like them, and sometimes I think I've never had them before once in my life. Isn't that strange?

There is one backpack that is larger and bulkier than the others that makes absolutely no sense to me most of the time. It has tiny, super small, blankets in it. Tiny poofy underwear that I can't even put my foot in. It also has these super small outfits that could fit a baby doll. There are also some cans full of white powder but I don't eat it anymore. It's nasty.

Oh, by the way, I am really good at having good ideas. I have sat down and had a lot of conversations with myself that are super important. One thing is that since the wind is blowing so hard, the white smoke won't reach up very far and that I need to stay in my tent or in the smoke until someone really important looking arrives. I don't mind, it's like playing in a smelly cloud.

I have also told myself that the needles from the spikey tree can be made into a tea BUT I need to always ask if someone older can make it for me. So I'm super excited that you're here! I've really been wanting this tea for a long time but, let's face it, I'm way too young. Like my...heh...I almost forgot that I came here all on my own... well...um...well I guess I said it. Like I said, once, probably, "An oven is one thing but a campfire is another."

...

Can I be honest? You're kinda scary looking. But, you know, now that I think about it, the police are pretty scary. Have you seen how grown ups react when a police car is too close? Or a police officer is walking around? They get all sweaty and weird.

...

No? You've never seen a police officer? Not even a single, not a ONE, police officer?! WOW. Haha! You might be scary looking but I think I know exactly what you are. Now you tell me if I'm right. You're a wizard right? Because you're all alone out here, you've never seen a police officer, you're covered in scales and fur, and just look, you're covered in a red sticky potion. Don't worry, sometimes I spill my food and drinks on my food too.

So yeah, you can't lie to me. You're totally a wizard. A stinky wizard, but a wizard.

...

I'm really so happy you're finally here. It's gotten...kinda scary. Just last night I saw a bunch of flashing lights through the trees. Like really, really, really far off. I think it was a bunch of people, stomping all over, saying all kinds of weird stuff that I could barely hear. I'm super brave but I'm not dumb. It was very quiet, only a couple times, but I definitely heard something super scary. Wanna know what it was?

They were calling my name

Creature that hunts groups of humans, every person it kills will be forgotten by the rest, their actions attributed to another member of the group, but when there is only one person left, the changed memories make no sense, how can you help yourself gather wood? Why did you bring 5 backpacks?

[taiblogcomics]

An Offer You Can't Refuse (But Really, Really Should)

Hey there, uncollected rent. It's more Avengers Undercover. I like that there's only ten issues in this series. It tells us what percentage we've reached really easily without any fiddly maths. "Oh, we're on issue 7 out of 18", what is that? That's nothin'. We're on four out of ten. That's four tens. That's as much as forty percent. And this comic is terrible~

Here's the cover:

Check it out, it's Baron Zemo and his Zemoteers! …That's all I've got! Really, though, I'm glad there's covers aren't giving me much to work with, coz then I can really rip into these quotes they've thoughtfully included. Coz, like, really, IGN? Are we reading the same series? I dunno about you, but so far there hasn't been a single plot point I'd call "methodical and believable". And Cullen I'm still discounting, because he was never a teen hero. He's always just been an asshole. …I also just noticed how much the glowy bits make Cammi look like a raver. One more point to the cover!

Well, last issue, the kids infiltrated Arcade's latest dumb hideout (with Daimon Hellstrom's help) and after going a little catatonic for a while, Hazmat ends up murdering him. Now they're kind of standing over a body, and Cammi reasons they probably ought to go before someone notices them doing so. Especially given Deathlocket's extremely hesitant "Oh, um, sure…?" when asked if she disabled the cameras. Yeah, probably time to go. So the lot of them skedaddle. I'll also be really glad when they get out of these formal outfits, because I keep confusing Cammi and Nico, since Cammi's usually being the voice of reason.

Which is what she's doing here. Cullen is all like "Arcade's dead, we won", but she's the ony one thinking of the what after that. Coz, like, even if Hazmat's the one who pulled the trigger, they did come here with intent and openly discuessed it. That's pre-meditated. So yeah, if Locket didn't wipe the cameras, it doesn't look good for them. And looking worse all the time, because SHIELD lands outside, zaps Cullen as he starts to go monstrous, and very quickly locks up everyone involved inside the Helicarrier. Wah wah waaah~

Yep, they're all in SHIELD custody now. The Runaways stop by to pick their fellows up, with Molly blaming the whole thing on Nico. Anachronism's parents are disappointed, Elsa Bloodstone and Cullen have a shouting match. And Cammi's mom… Well, she's a mom. She doesn't blame Cammi, she probably would've killed Arcade herself for what he put her daughter through. Cammi points out they're not the victims this time, and Mrs. Cammi's Mom intends to fight that, as teenagers, yes they are.

They bond a little, Cammi idly wondering aloud when her mom got to be such a good mother, then regretting what she said. Mrs. Cammi takes it well, knowing that she's not been the best mother. Cammi instead replies that she's very proud how she's been doing the Alcoholics Anonymous thing. Which is kind of what Cammi wants here: to face the consequences of her own stupidity. Mom won't let this happen, stating no one will take Cammi away from her again. Cammi agrees, her eyes welling up with tears. That's when Cammi suddenly catches on fire and disappears.

Yeup, it's Hellstrom 'porting them out. If Arcade could steal them from SWORD and Avengers Academy, then real villains can kidnap the kids right out of SHIELD. As soon as they warp in, all the villains start cheering. At least, I assume it's cheering, it's spelled "YAAAAA!", so maybe they all collectively stubbed their toe. Either way, Hellstrom says it's all for them, so enjoy it, babes. Boy, Arcade was really popular among his fellow villains, huh? We don't really get to see the reactions of most of the group, but Cammi's kind of shocked to be torn away from her mother.

Heck, as they're being led down the hall after, Nico asks Hellstrom about the teleport. She tried a bunch of her own spells, but the place was warded. Hellstrom replies that being the Son of Satan has its perks, and he'd love a chance to teach her a few such perks--if she sticks around. Either way, they've arrived at where he was leading them: a huge banquet hall. Laid out for them is an absolutely staggering amount of food--and, sitting at the head of the table, their esteemed host: Baron Helmut Zemo himself.

He's pretty obviously trying to sucker them in by flashing his wealth around: the banquet, the banquet table, the literal shelves of gold bricks lining the walls. He probably should've dropped the Nazi armband from his outfit (it's his own logo, but the look is still clearly meant to be reminiscent of Nazis), but maybe that's just me. He starts launching into a speech about how any normal jerk can make a fantastic life for himself by just being slightly exceptional. But the truly exceptional? All expected to be conscripted soldiers, human shields, gaudily-clad gofers.

Cammi, ever the only actual smart person in the room, Cammi points out this is all basic supervillain talking points. Zemo retorts that "supervillain" is simply a label society has tried to push on those with power and ambition. Anachronism follows this up by pointing out that they literally call themselves "the Masters of Evil". Zemo replies that society called them evil first, they've simply decided to own it. Sorry, Zemo, but I don't think "evil" is a reclaimable slur. You're gonna have a bit of a hard time reaching acceptance with that one~

But basically that's his whole pitch. Nobody is demanding they rob banks or build a death ray on the moon. He simply wants to teach them to realise their full potential. Potential they can't reach in a world that locks them up for the unthinkable crime of murdering a psychopath. He's making no threats or demands, simply an offer: join them. And in case you need the symbolism hammered in for you, he reaches past Cullen--the only one at the table eating--and picks up an apple and holds it out to them. Maybe not standing in front of your huge Nazi banner while making this offer would improve reception, though, Zeems~

Ah yes, what was it? "Methodical and believable"~? Yes, that believeable slip into villainy when a Nazi in a purple ski mask throws a banquet and makes Adam and Eve symbolism at you and says you can have a more comfortable life than even athletes and movie stars do. Given this whole presentation, I feel like he's one step away from doing something truly evil: inviting them to join his multi-level marketing scheme. Like, that's the vibe he's putting out. Cammi, who admittedly didn't do much to make me like her in Avengers Arena, really continues to shine as my favourite character in this story so far. I know she sticks through the whole rest of the story, but I'm still really hoping she (and everyone else) tells Baron Buttmunch to stuff it~

[tblsomedoodles]

I saw the thingy about Raph going with Angie and my instant thought was: What if Raph was the one who got sent back.

I'm not sure how exactly this would happen, I'd assume all four brothers have some form of mystic portaling abilities since it's not exactly something originally in Canon!Mikey's arsenal, but I feel like it'd most likely happen during whatever incident created Savage-mode.

Raph is alone, and panicking, and his ninpo is sent to far into gear and he ends up in 03. This def would change some things because not only are Rise kids REALLY dependent on their big brother, 03 isn't getting innocent 3yo baby Orange, they're getting 5yo big brother Raph.

+ This would force Leo (as the older twin, for the sake of it) into the older brother position which would end up making Rise!Leo a lot more like his other counterparts.

+ + The mental image of like, 13yo Raph who just hit his growth spurt towering over his pops is an incredible thought.

i think it's been brought up before (but very, very briefly) so i'm definitely here for going more indepth about it! : )

The way i usually think pure mystic powers to work is that they aren't just static skills they can do. Like, if they put enough time and effort, they can learn other ways to use it. (it's just very difficult, takes a lot of effort, and Mikey has been the only one to try. I mean, if it was a static skill, he shouldn't have been able to make any sort of portal in the movie. Its just that they're young and haven't had much training in mystic arts.) With that being said! That would mean, if the other boys were despirate enough, they could open portals as well. A young, separated Raph would be no exception.

So yeah, Raphie would find this still very scared and weary five year old (who most certainly bites him b/c he's in an unfamiliar place, without his siblings, and he most certainly doesn't know this new turtle reaching out towards him. he could very well be in a baby version of savage-mode as well. Either way he's definitely biting Raphie. probably several times lol)

but eventually the hissing and biting calm down, Raphie is able to get the child to trust him enough to pick him up. They spend time looking for his family (Particularly his brothers since he seems very adiment on finding them) but with no luck he brings him back to the lair.

Growing up Raph would definitely still be the sweetest kid (though still willing to bite if necessary lol) and Raphie would fight anyone that tried to change that. i think he would still have problems being left alone. I mean, his brothers left him alone once and he never saw them again, who's to say that can't happen here?

but yeah, Raph hitting that growth spurt and suddenly towering over Raphie would both proud and disappointed. like on one hand, he must be doing something right, this kid is huge! on the other, he can't pick him up anymore.

on the other side of the portal, it would definitely be a little different. I think they would still be pretty clingy to one another, like with the regular Adopted AU, not wanting anyone to be out of sight for very long. And yeah, Leon would probably have to step up to take care of his siblings. B/c Splinter kind of just stopped doing it after Raph left, Donnie can't/won't, and Mikey's the baby. He would definitely be a little closer to a standard Leo, but i could see him retaining his jokester personality even if he is a little more serious most of the time.

Thanks! This was cool! : )

[gretavanfleetposts]

I do feel like everyone has been tagged at this point so I'll just say, anyone who wants to do it, should do it! And a huge thank you to @lvnterninthenight for tagging me and being so supportive of my work 🖤

I think it might be fun to look back on what we’ve all achieved this year, let you give yourselves a well deserved pat on the back and also share what you love. When you’re done maybe tag someone else so they can share too!

1. How do you feel 2022 has gone in terms of writing?

I think 2022 has gone really well in terms of writing! At the end of the summer I was ready to be done but then I got my second wind and I feel like it's been going well.

2. What piece are you proudest of this year? It can be a shot/blurb/headcannon, a whole series or even a specific chapter.

Valence! Specifically chapter four and chapter seven (currently being written) but I feel like I'm even more excited for the last few chapters of the series.

3. Is there anything you posted that you wish had reached more people? (No such thing as a flop here!) Shout it out, it might catch a new pair of eyes!

Valence again! Haha I think just in general it's been really new for me and very different from my usual stuff but I'm really proud of it and I do really like it 🤷‍♀️

4. Can you give us a hint of anything coming before the end of the year? Maybe even a little taster?

Probably won't come before the end of the year but a little Danny/Sammy/Reader action that is more like my usual filth.

5. Are you setting any writing goals for next year, or just going with the flow? If you are, what are they?

None at all because that never goes well so we'll just see where the wind takes me.

6. Do you have any one shots or finished pieces you’re tempted to expand on or revisit next year?

Indecent Proposal is always looming in the back of my mind but I also like exploring new ideas so we'll see.

7. Is there anything new you’re tempted to try out? A new style/trope/AU/another person in the fandom?

I'm really enjoying writing Valence specifically because it's so far removed from reality that I feel like I have a lot more freedom. I'd love to do something like that again, if an idea strikes.

8. Now to hype some other writers! What’s a piece you read back in the first half of the year that you can shout out?

What I keep going back to is A Friendly Favor by @gretavandutchy specifically chapter three. I honestly can't even put into words how reading that chapter for the first time made me feel and nothing has quite made me feel the same since, it was masterfully written.

9. And how about something you’ve read more recently?

I admittedly haven't been reading much lately BUT touch by @daisyful-gvfl absolutely blew me away. Anything by @gretasmokerising and @hyperfixated-gvf and @earthlysorrows too although I have some serious catching up to do on all of their masterlists. Nice to always know that I'll love whatever they write though.

10. A fun one to finish...If you could insert yourself into any fic in the fandom, which would it be and what do you think would happen?

A Trip Down Memory Lane by @tlexx 1000%. I wouldn't even change the story, I just want to be the reader. It was the first fic (or first two fics?) I fell in love with here and they'll always hold a special place in my heart.

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you

[its-vannah]

You & Me | Part Two | Sirius

A/N: Here's part two! You won't get a choice after this one. Instead, you'll be merged back into the main story :) Click here for part one.

KEY:

y/h = Your house

y/f/h = Your favorite hobby

y/f/q/t = Your favorite Quidditch team fan

You nodded, "You're right. He'd probably rather be alone anyway. He always does that when he's upset…"

"So," Sirius said as the two of you started walking in the direction of your next class, "Tell me about yourself."

Gazing up at him, your books pressed tightly to your chest, you smiled, "What do you want to know?"

He grinned down at you, "Everything."

By the time you made it to Defence Against the Dark Arts, you and Sirius knew the basic ins and outs of each others lives. He knew that you were a y/h, you enjoyed y/f/h, and that you were a diehard y/f/q/t.

As you made your way down the last corridor before you reached class, Sirius asked you about your family.

"My family?" You had repeated, making sure you had heard his question right.

"I told you," He smiled, "I want to know everything about you."

You shrugged, "There's not much to tell, really. I'm the first witch/wizard in my family, so they were a bit surprised when I received my letter. Proud, but unsure. They don't really understand the whole magic thing."

"So you're a muggleborn?" He asked, his eyes focused on yours rather than the influx of students in the corridor.

"Yes," You answered, raising a brow, "Is that a problem?"

He shook his head, "Not in the slightest. I'm a pureblood, come from a wizarding family that goes back too far for comfort, so I've rarely interacted with muggles. Always been a bit curious, that's all."

"Well, my family is as muggle as they come. They're more interested in football than they are in Quidditch. Not that I blame them. The idea of flying on a broom and dodging balls in the air seems a bit strange. But I like it well enough."

"You should come to the next game," He said, his voice lilting.

"Why, are you playing next?" You asked, as you made your way to the door.

"No, but I was wondering if you'd like to go to the next game together. Neither of our houses are playing, so it'd just be a chance to watch the game." Sirius smiled, raking a hand through his hair.

"I'd like that, very much."

You went to open the door, expecting Sirius to follow after you, but he didn't.

"Are you coming, Sirius?" You asked, confusion masking your face.

He let out a long sigh, "Can I be honest with you?"

"I had hoped you'd been honest since we started talking, but go ahead."

"I don't really have Defense Against the Dark Arts right now. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you." He admitted, chewing on his bottom lip.

"So you lied to me?" You said with a frown.

He swallowed, bowing his head, "Yes. And I'm sorry. But I don't regret it. Lying, yes, but not talking to you."

Nodding, you looked to your classroom, "Well, you can make it up to me at the Quidditch game tomorrow."

His eyes shot up to meet yours, cheeks flushing, "You still want to go?"

"Don't be late."

Sirius nodded, "I won't. I promise. I'll meet you in front of the Great Hall?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll see you then, Y/N."

Smiling, you entered your classroom, "See you then."