#I know this isn't directly referencing them but they are my current interests

[maliciousandcrude]

Me looking at my current interests knowing full well that one day the fandoms will die out and be forgotten, new content won't be made of it anymore, and that I'll grow out of my interests one day and forget that I've ever had interests in them to begin with:

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Theory: LX intended for CXS to dive to save LG

Preface and disclaimer: this is kind of an out-there theory; more a few loose thoughts that I found interesting to think on - I fully expect that some or all of this will turn out to be totally wrong. Link Click loves showing us scenes only to later have them be revealed as either a) shown out of order, or b) recontextualized by further info we weren't initially privy to. I fully expect this will be the case in s3.

For now though, concerning Cheng Xiaoshi's death, Yingdu arc is what we have to work with. And there's a particular scene that really, really bothers me: the very opening confrontation against Vein.

(Actually, there's a lot that bothers me. There are multiple timeline inconsistencies that can't simply be explained by animation error - the most egregious is CXS figuring out his powers by diving alone when he had to figure that out in s1, well after the point many timeline changes had already occurred that would directly lead to the events of s2, our current timeline. It makes my head hurt. That's why this post is not about the inconsistencies, even though it bothers me that I cannot come up with a good explanation for this atm. My best guess is that multiple possibilities or potentials are collapsing in on a singular timeline due to LX, SYY and/or LG's actions but I really don't know. Whatever. On with the theory.)

Let's start with a key assumption. If this assumption is proven to be wrong later, then the theory very much falls apart, but I feel fairly confident about this for now.

Assumption: CXS's death scene from Yingdu episode 1 is the original timeline, as is the dive back to the basketball court.

The reason I think this is from both a narrative standpoint and a character one. From a narrative standpoint, it makes sense to show us either the first timeline or the most recent one after s2's cliffhanger ending. These are the timelines that actually have consequences for our story. Here, we see a lot of focus given to the transfer of Cheng Xiaoshi's power, and his dying request of Lu Guang. This dying request, to save everyone, is referenced in a later nightmare sequence, where Lu Guang is reminded that everyone has died. I don't think it makes much sense to focus on Cheng Xiaoshi's final words in a repeated timeline, unless they were framed as something Lu Guang has clearly heard before, which, they weren't.

Which brings me to the main reason I believe this is the original timeline: Lu Guang's reaction.

He's in shock for much of the events here - doesn't look at all like he knows or knew what was about to happen. If this wasn't the original timeline, I would expect him to look more desperate and sad than shocked. His reaction after diving also doesn't make much sense to me if this isn't the first dive he's attempted. Again, I'd expect him to look more haunted and sullen if this is a repeat. Instead, he looks around at his clothes and at his surroundings for a bit before getting hit by the ball, sees Cheng Xiaoshi, gasps and immediately tears up. <- Not the reaction I'd expect from a man used to diving.

Hopefully, you either agree with me or can at least suspend your disbelief enough to hear me out.

Let's go over what's odd about the initial Vein confrontation, yes?

Vein never actually shoots or even aims at Cheng Xiaoshi

"This is the punishment for you changing the past."

Vein doesn't finish off Lu Guang afterwards

Point 1: Vein knocks Cheng Xiaoshi back and twirls his gun. A few seconds pass in which Vein does not aim at Cheng Xiaoshi at all, just stands there, maybe to make sure he stays down. Lu Guang rounds the corner and Vein immediately fires a shot at him.

If Vein wanted to kill Cheng Xiaoshi, he could've already done it here. He's fast. He fired that shot at Lu Guang in a split second. The implication here is that Cheng Xiaoshi was not the target - the target was Lu Guang.

Point 2: Vein tells Lu Guang that his actions are punishment for changing the past. If we go by the assumption that this is the original timeline, this... doesn't make much sense. Lu Guang doesn't have the power to change the past without Cheng Xiaoshi's ability. It suggests that Vein is not after them here because of Lu Guang's attempt(s) to save Cheng Xiaoshi, but for some other deviation.

Conclusion? This is a shared punishment. In the original timeline, it seems very likely that Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi made some kind of change, or changes, to the past. <- This may actually explain why Lu Guang in the current timeline is so adamant about Cheng Xiaoshi not changing anything.

It is possible that the combination of their powers resulted in some kind of significant deviation, or else that they were mistaken for or had the blame pinned on them for someone else's actions. Either way, Vein seems to only gun for one of them, but it's not the one I'd expect.

After all, if this is a punishment for changing the timeline (and presumably, you wouldn't want them changing anything else), why wouldn't you shoot the guy who actually... makes the changes? Why try to shoot Lu Guang?

Well... maybe you would if you actually wanted the exact opposite outcome.

Vein misses Lu Guang several times in this scene. It's a little strange, given that he's been backed into a corner and his attempt to fight back does him no good at all. You can see in his fight against Shao Yuanyuan/Wang Qing in episode 6 that he does have good aim and is actually fairly efficient with his objectives. You could say he's toying with him, and maybe so! Vein clearly loves a good fight. Much like Liu Xiao, he has the vibe of a "hunter". But Vein also is stated to have a certain set of principles. To me, it feels like he's putting on a show.

This brings me back to the main question: why didn't he try to shoot Cheng Xiaoshi? Why kill everyone connected with them and attempt to kill Lu Guang, ostensibly as "punishment", when Cheng Xiaoshi is the one who can actually dive?

Point 3: Lu Guang helps Cheng Xiaoshi into the darkroom and locks the door. Vein fires a shot but then just kind of... stands there, grimacing. He doesn't even try to break the door down, which I'm sure he easily could. <-This is the weirdest part of the scene.

I don't think this was supposed to happen. I don't think Cheng Xiaoshi was intended to take that bullet.

I think Vein put on that show, wanting Cheng Xiaoshi to see him shoot Lu Guang. I don't think Vein expected Cheng Xiaoshi to dive in front and die.

You could say that Vein just decided to wait outside for Lu Guang to come out instead of exerting energy, but that's strange because in the time afterwards, from 23:11 on September 12th when they stumbled into the darkroom to just a little before 00:05 on September 13th when he leaves, Lu Guang gets injured, but is left alive, and Vein is nowhere to be seen. There is absolutely no way Lu Guang was able to fend off Vein, and the only other possible sign of a continued skirmish is more blood on the photo and its positioning (this could be an animation error, truthfully - everything else in the scene is the same as before - but if it is an error then that helps my point even more - there are no further signs of struggle).

The police didn't arrive and force Vein to leave. The implication is Vein left Lu Guang alive after waiting patiently outside the door for him to come out. Why? Why wait?

Well, one possible explanation: he didn't want to interrupt the power transfer.

Think about it. Why leave one alive, but kill everyone else? If it was to avoid them making changes, only one of the pair with the actual powers needs to die. Not everyone connected to them. This situation seems explicitly orchestrated to make it so Cheng Xiaoshi cannot resist diving back. I suspect he was already intending to - if you look at the scene where Lu Guang glances down at the shattered photo, his breath hitches - I suspect Qiao Ling is already dead and they know that.

Cheng Xiaoshi's last request is to save everyone, since he is now unable to - he cannot take the shot himself, so he passes the ball to the person he trusts most. And I think this was the goal all along. In a situation like this, how could he not try to save them? Especially if, as I suspect, the rules regarding past and future weren't made quite as strict in this timeline as they are in the current one.

Except this didn't go quite according to plan, because in epic Cheng Xiaoshi fashion, he did something that wasn't anticipated and died in Lu Guang's stead. Not ideal, clearly, from Vein's reaction, but it doesn't actually matter.

All that matters is that one of them dives back. The outcome is the same.

Why kill everyone, but leave one alive, and with a power that will allow them and inevitably tempt them to try to save their loved ones? The most obvious answer is if this is exactly the outcome you wanted.

--

Now, why do I say Liu Xiao intended this if the main actor here was Vein? Well, for one, Vein doesn't seem aware in Yingdu arc of changes to the timeline, except in this scene. Needless to say, he is definitely not privy to Lu Guang having future knowledge - Lu Guang is suspicious to him, but it does not seem to occur to Vein that he could be from the future. This information likely comes from Liu Xiao, who Vein works with during the arc to obtain Cheng Weimin's book and who unzips his body bag at the end of the season. Out of anyone who could've orchestrated this, our favourite puppeteer manipulator is the most likely candidate.

I won't claim to know what's going on with Liu Xiao, nor what his goals actually are, but I suspect he has at least some future knowledge or is somehow able to catch glimpses of parallel lines. He comes across as much older in the flashbacks with him and Li Tianchen as children. There is an odd bit in Yingdu episode 2 during the roulette scene where there is a flash to the gun killing him. Metaphor or vision? It's hard to say.

Interestingly, in the Bridon pv, Liu Xiao looks back at Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang in the airport and smiles but does not approach them. Lu Guang even mentions that they didn't run into Liu Xiao in the past timeline.

At the end of episode 1, in the current timeline, Liu Xiao says "Finally, we can start the game." It implies that all the pieces are finally in place. This may be why he approaches Cheng Xiaoshi in the airport and asked Xia Fei to trail him, expecting him to have dived back from the future.

I suspect his knowledge isn't perfect. Liu Xiao is a gambler. He's not like Lu Guang, who needs to have perfect control and anticipate every outcome. He wasn't really paying much attention to Lu Guang at all until he noticed something strange - ostensibly his heartbeat. Again, I suspect the person he intended to have dive was Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang was not expected - but he can still work with this, and clearly does, because at no point does it seem like any of Lu Guang's actions or knowledge disrupted his plans. Instead, it seems like everything is going smoothly because of his actions.

Everything Lu Guang does, including his decision to stall Vein and try to get him killed, seems to work out in Liu Xiao's favour. I suspect, inadvertently, that Lu Guang is doing exactly what he wants him to. Lu Guang's only real moment of "masterminding" is therefore implied to have been anticipated. Liu Xiao smiles when Xia Fei receives the call about Vein's "death", as if he knew.

"You might have seen something interesting."

It checks out. This frame from Train Trail during his verse says "the puppets are standing" over everyone's silhouettes - including Lu Guang. Lu Guang is also frequently shown as either trapped or drowning in official art and in Yingdu - if he was intended to be a mastermind on equal footing with Liu Xiao, I really don't think we'd see so much of his feelings of helplessness, nor his repeated assertions that he essentially has no idea what he's doing and doesn't actually expect the outcome to change. Liu Xiao doesn't seem to have any such compunctions or concerns in this sense.

If Lu Guang does turn out to have been essentially manipulated into this situation, it would follow a particular pattern seen in Link Click. There are characters who enact control over others but are ultimately being puppeteered or manipulated (Liu Min trying to control what is said about him comes to mind, as does Li Tianchen's literal control, to an extent), as well as characters who, through desperation and/or love, and the limited options available to them in their shitty situations, become complicit in something immoral and suffer for it (Emma taking the money from Zhu, Li Tianxi being the other half of the remote control, Vivian becoming a scammer). If Liu Xiao really did orchestrate Lu Guang's dive, then Lu Guang would follow both these patterns, as a puppet with the power of future knowledge that can (and perhaps has) hurt others, and as a victim who made a desperate choice and is now trapped by its consequences.

One last bit of evidence - this time explicitly about Liu Xiao.

^Everyone is familiar with 091305 by now. September 13th at 12:05 am. The date and time Lu Guang dived back from. However, something interesting here: the year is blurred out.

Moreover, I see people say sometimes that this is Cheng Xiaoshi's death date - it isn't. Remember the time from when they were in the darkroom? Cheng Xiaoshi's death occurred on September 12th, just a little past 11:11 pm.

Here's one last fun thing before I close out this post:

Liu Xiao, why does the date on your Tetris game-over say September 12th, 2024 when Yingdu arc takes place in 2019? I wonder whose game-over this could be?

[a-book-of-creatures]

What notable books (or author) on folklore and/or mythology would you consider to have reliable info, and which ones definitely don't? It's a broad ask, but what are the first names that come to mind?

Very good ask! I'll try to see if I can put my thoughts in words, but if you need any further examples or evaluations let me know.

Here's a general rule: primary sources are Good. Books that directly reference primary sources are Good. The more distance between a book and the primary source, the less reliable it gets. Always ask yourself, where is this book getting its information from? How does it present this information? If you're not dealing with primary sources, always check to see how information is presented and where possible errors could creep in.

For example...

Books like these are the gold standard for reliability. If I was handing out ratings, they would score a perfect 5 out of 5. Everything is extensively cited (the second book is practically all citations). You can't go wrong with these.

In general the more specialized a book is, the more reliable it is. So the excellent Meeting With Monsters gets a very respectable 4.5 out of 5. Very detailed info just about Icelandic monsters. Why not 5? The authors engage in some speculative creature building where they treat the monsters as real animals and invent features for them (the hrosshvalur has dorsal spines teeming with bacteria that infect the wounds it causes, for instance). But these are restricted to marginal notes and do not interfere with the actual information.

More general books generally get less reliable. Again, ask, where are those sources? What are they?

This one is often held up as the encyclopedia of mythical creatures currently in print. It's a decent starting point to start looking for things. It has sources and each entry is linked to its sources. The entries are written in a dry, concise encyclopedic style. But it relies far too much on second and third (and fourth, etc) hand sources. Scratch a little past the surface and you start finding weird mistakes, errors, inaccuracies. Snowballing misinformation. I would consider this to be of average reliability at best. A 2.5 out of 5 or so. Best used as a suggestion to dig into deeper, better things.

This one is a broad introduction to dragons, but instead of an encyclopedia, each "entry" (chapter?) is presented as a retelling of that story. And with that comes very low reliability and heavy use of secondary sources. The retellings make stuff up that isn't anywhere in the originals and miss a lot of the point of the stories - and spread misinformation that continues to propagate online. Also there's plenty of cryptozoology in there so eeehhhh.

This one is obviously aimed at a younger audience, but I'm mentioning it because of one amusing detail. It seems to be a good introduction for children to dragon mythology. Except it presents with a straight face the marsupial dragon as a dragon from Australia. The marsupial dragon, you know, which was written into Dragonology as a joke? And Dragonology wouldn't even have made my primary-source-reliability anyway! Some due-diligence was not duly diligenced, if I may say so.

Then there are books that are just... confusing.

Like anything by Pierre Dubois. On the surface they seem well-researched. But the references and cross-references are more opaque than... uh... a very opaque thing. He clearly has a lot of them, but it's anyone's guess where the information he got came from (no cross-referencing, you see). Combine that with him just making stuff up to pad page numbers and it's never clear what is "true" and what he wrote (and some of it is distasteful, not going to lie). Sometimes he even misses the interesting part of legends just to write his own stories. The most charitable take is that this is literary fantasy, and maybe what he's said can be traced to actual reliable folkloric sources, but after having used him as a source of information I cannot recommend him. You could also argue that Dubois never does claim that this is a scholarly reference, but it sure is presented as one.

I have so far restricted myself to books that claim (or seem to claim) to be references on myth, legend, and folklore. Books that engage in speculative "creature building" (e.g. Dragonology, The Flight of Dragons, etc) would not be reliable as references, but they're still great books. You just wouldn't use them as sources of information.

... or would you? Sometimes non-reference books get treated as such, and then the information they made up gets reified by being parroted uncritically by later books. Like Woodruff's book above. A fake "long-lost expedition journal" by Pliny the Elder, it's an excuse for (gorgeous) art and Latin practice. Except that some of the made-up stuff in there found its way out of the book and - uncited - ended up in supposedly serious works. Like the Pyrallis being a dragon, or the two-headed Hyperborean frogs. Confusing. It even got a minor news mention because people were taking it seriously!

Anyway, how about you? Any books you find reliable or unreliable?

[cindylouwho-2]

Etsy's Adult Content Ban: Some Things You Might Have Missed, & Some Reasons Almost Everyone Has Missed

As almost everyone knows, Etsy announced a wide-ranging ban of many types of sex-related items on June 27, to take effect on July 29, 2024.

While the corporation was predictably vague about the reasons for this change, it's not overly-difficult to figure out why this happened, although at least one reason seems to have slipped by many. It's slightly more trying to make the logic work when we consider what they still allow. It may be more interesting (and vital, for some sellers) to consider what Etsy might ban next, or ban by accident when this policy takes effect.

While this post isn't intended to be a deep dive into all of the revisions to Etsy's official policies, I will briefly go through certain highlights of the new rules, followed a few alternative ideas for both sellers and shoppers. I'll then discuss why Etsy did this, and we should expect in the coming weeks, months and years.

First. here are the relevant materials:

the much-quoted announcement

Etsy's new Adult Nudity and Sexual Content Policy

the revised Mature Content Policy

as well as some of the media coverage:

Mashable was the first large outlet to publish

The New York Times (soft paywall)

The Guardian

The BBC

Modern Retail (soft paywall)

What's Out, And What's Still OK to Sell or Display

As has widely been reported, Etsy will no longer allow sex toys that touch genitals or enter the body, a female product model's nipples in photos, photos or "photo-realistic" images of sexual acts, types of nudity with "sexual context", fetish items such as used underwear and foot pics, and "sexual language referencing familial relationships". (Pornography was already banned before now.)

Plenty of other items are still permitted, though, including:

BDSM accessories

body harnesses

kegel weights

sex furniture

non-photorealistic nudity and "sex acts without visible genitalia or anuses"

female nipples in photos if the photo is the product and the first listing image obscures them

These exceptions lead to all kinds of questions. For example:

Etsy likes to position itself as LGBTQ2S+ positive. That means a topless photo of a trans male with visible nipples is ok even if they never had top surgery, right? Especially if they have legally transitioned and have government-issued ID that lists them as male, correct?

Where is the "non-photorealistic" line drawn? If a painter attempts to be photorealistic, but is not very skilled at the process, is that painting ok to sell on Etsy?

I am sure you can think of plenty more. But holes in the policies are not my main concern in this article, so I will move on (after noting that Etsy is going to have some enforcement messes with the policies as written).

Where Should Sellers and Shoppers Go After July 29?

(Mention in this section is not an endorsement of the platform. Please carefully research any option before signing up. Some links are not "safe for work".)

Etsy gave business owners just one month's warning that they were no longer wanted on the site. Many are still scrambling to replace their steady income that their Etsy shop provided. The alternatives are not always simple, and it does depend on what a shop sold.

There are a few small marketplaces for adult items, including https://spicerack.market/ and https://charmskoolshop.com/ (links not safe for work). These are not going to have the level of traffic Etsy had, but that also might improve now that many businesses and shoppers are looking for new venues.

There are also larger marketplaces that do allow many of the products Etsy banned, but each has its own restrictions and exceptions, making it risky to copy existing Etsy listings over directly. Always carefully research the rules everywhere. Amazon does have a sexual wellness category, but it is not part of Amazon's Handmade section. eBay also has sex toys. The Artisans Cooperative currently has some adult items listed, but the site is still in beta, so only coop members can sell there at the moment.

Freestanding websites and self-promotion are another approach, but this can be daunting for makers who chose Etsy for its built-in traffic, plus some platforms and payment processors do have rules against certain types of adult content. Shopify's Shop app bans pornography and "sexually gratifying" fetishes, and the bot filters can sometimes block allowed content by mistake.

If you have a favourite seller, they have likely already posted where they plan on going next; if not, ask them.

Why Did Etsy Ban Many Adult Listings, and Why Now?

The various media articles lay out numerous possible reasons for the new sex policies. They include:

Some jurisdictions have laws that limit what children or under-18s can see online, which is likely why Etsy's short announcement uses the word "safe" in 3 different places.

Some social media sites restrict adult content - "evolving industry standards", perhaps?

Some payment processors restrict what adult items can be sold.

We're forced to speculate, because Etsy has refused to answer questions or release additional statements since June 27. That's problematic when talking about destroying livelihoods, because none of these reasons seem to dictate an absolute ban.

As mentioned above, many sites still allow most of the prohibited products, either openly, with age minimums, or with siloed categories that don't appear in generic searches. A big tech company should easily be able to program for this. There's been no indication that any of Etsy's payment processors have withdrawn due to this content, either. So that list simply doesn't add up.

Instead, it's clear that the core explanation is that Etsy wants a bigger slice of the ecommerce pie, and is willing to reject long-standing sellers and product lines to better appeal to shoppers who find sex and related topics distasteful. But again, why not just separate the categories better, as Amazon and eBay do? Amazon is certainly not lacking for customers despite having a sexual wellness category where many things Etsy disallowed still happily reside.

This all boils down to a key reason few are discussing: Etsy's faulty algorithms don't seem capable of keeping such merchandise out of sight of really picky shoppers. They've in fact been trying to do that for a few years now, as the 2022 Transparency report detailed. Etsy stated that the “mature content classifier” led to "a 17% decrease in flags of mature content from our member community". Let's be honest - 17% isn't a great reduction. Even worse, that classifier led to shadow banning such innocuous items as dog diapers and "nude" coloured leggings, while endlessly missing actual porn, including deep-fake AI celebrity images [Forbes; soft paywall].

CEO Josh Silverman has made it clear that Etsy isn't going to focus on improving search relevancy any more, and will instead be focussing on product quality and shops' customer service records to determine search ranking. Problem is, niche searches still display tons of irrelevant items - go check; I'll wait - and this is frequently where one might see things they weren't looking for. If the search and other algorithms aren't able to give shoppers accurate results even when Etsy is attempting to filter out mature items, then Etsy's alternative is to ban the items outright.

Let's face it: if the real problem was female nipples being seen by kids, they'd all have to be blurred out, instead of just the first image. The first image is what shows up in search, ads, and recommendations across the site, so that is what Etsy is censoring. Kids are welcome to look at butt cracks to their hearts' content, as long as they click on the listing first. The real problem is instead that Etsy can't deliver accurate searches and tailored recommendations that people want to see, and regularly serves up things shoppers were not expecting.

But why now? Other than the recent promises to change the search focus from relevancy to quality, what made Etsy drop this notice on unsuspecting sellers on June 27?

The answer appears to be Etsy's new creativity standards, released on July 9. Those standards codify previously unofficial exceptions to Etsy policy, such as allowing 100% commercial goods to be sold in gift boxes. They are also the first official mention of Etsy permitting AI art to be sold on the site, although Silverman had already announced that unofficially.

The policy changes are likely to increase the number of listings on the site that are not handmade, vintage or craft supplies, and Etsy obviously felt the need to stem the eventual tide of sexual gift boxes of dildos from AliExpress - yes, there are already some listed on Etsy - and even more AI-generated nudity etc.

Note as well that July 29 falls just 2 days before the second quarter report is given to investors, providing Etsy with a topic to discuss during that call. They can claim they are taking action against mature listings without being expected to have removed 100% just 2 days after the ban, and the topic will likely be forgotten 3 months later when the third-quarter call happens. It's possible that, 3 months from now, no analysts will check to see if the ban was actually successful. Perfect timing, I'd say.

What Next?

First, any experienced Etsy seller knows that Etsy attempts to remove now-banned items will result in plenty of legitimate listings being deactivated as well; see the dog diaper example above. Items won't even have to be related to the prohibited categories, as the image recognition bots can be particularly bad. Every time Etsy bans something, even if only within one country or area, there is always collateral damage in the form of non-offending listings being removed. (I've had items deactivated for being amber, drug paraphernalia and illegal plant material, when they were nothing of the sort.)

At one time, you could expect Etsy to reinstate such items after an investigation, but that is less common these days, and frequently takes weeks to months when it does happen. This means all sellers should be alert and watch their deactivated listings folder in the coming weeks, and be resigned to losing best-selling products for no good reason, due to bad bots.

Long term, I doubt this is the last time Etsy narrows what can be sold in the interests of appeasing sensitive shoppers. Even if you 100% support Etsy banning everything that they did last month, you should be uneasy about what could be coming next. If age-limit laws were really behind some of this recent decision, what happens when some US jurisdictions start restricting no-fault divorce? Everything from party supplies to t-shirt slogans to happy divorce gifts could be on the chopping block.

It's also possible the company will try to continue to refine its bots and algorithms instead of outright banning other products. Since Etsy is already shadow banning items for certain searches, are shops with a few LGBTQ2S+ articles invisible right now in places where laws are discriminatory? In places where birth control is illegal or severely restricted, are birth control pill cases still ok? I am not sure we can assume Etsy won't continue down this path.

Whatever your thoughts on the listings Etsy is currently banning, remember that these are businesses who were allowed to sell their wares on the marketplace until this month, and have therefore done nothing wrong. Things you believe in could be the next target.

[mantaberrygamingtart]

Metaphor: ReFantazio thoughts so far

Currently, I am in the first playable month, and I have cleared the first major dungeon as well as developments immediately after it. I am on my way to the next major plot point.

The dungeon I referenced is where the prologue ends.

There are major spoilers ahead. Do not continue if you are not 100% sure you're past where I am referencing. I am NOT referencing the mines.

So, I've got about 15 hours of play time, more like 11 active hours at this point.

I think the game is really interesting and thus far, have genuinely enjoyed the world building. I like that the world feels alive and dynamic. By this, I mean that the consequences of the current events are very clear among a diverse populous. As you move from the poorer areas to the wealthy areas, the opinions differ heavily. The culture shifts. The demographics change and it feels like the current events have weight to them. I love a dynamic world. I also like that a lot of this building, while said directly to you in plenty of interactions, is also largely in passing.

I'm glad, because they throw so SO much at you as a player. It thins out before I know it, but it was a lot.

Okay. So. More critical thoughts.

As a Persona fan, I'm glad, but in general, this had might as well have been a persona spin off.

The mechanisms are so close to Persona's that it feels as though the game is living in the shadow of it's predecessor.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the game defines itself as part of a genre rather than a deviation in a series. If it never does, I won't be mad. But with all of the big names involved and the fanfare, it feels as though it should.

Thus far though, outside of the compelling narrative decisions (Grius, I'm not talking about you. Your armor was made of death flags. You were doomed by the narrative and your character design. Dead anime mom hair meet sacrificial mentor knight)

The core mechanics are almost too familiar.

Down to having a very persona way of awakening to their powers. The way bonds awaken is damn near the same, just less catchy. They took their formula, tried not to make it a copy, and made it less endearing in the process.

Thus far, what's really setting the game apart is the immersion and how I'm rewarded for participating in that immersion. It is constantly making me wonder what their end message is going to be and how they intend to ruin my day.

The first human we fight is seemingly the original sin and it seems we're about to be in for another allegory for the sins of man in the middle of an Atlus game.

I'm keen on watching closely to try and piece things together before we get them having to tell me. But beyond the more obvious things that they're laying on quite thick, I think I'll have to revel in seeing Easter eggs in another play through.

Last thing, there's no way Louis isn't suspicious of us. We're carrying a royal sword. Travelling with a royal knight that was the one guarding the prince when he was attacked, using a crown commisioned vessel. We didn't actually see Louis' face when that curse was casted though. If Louis doesn't recognize Hulkenburg or the sword, it stands to reason that Louis isn't the caster, and only ordered a subordinate to do it.

Lastly, we're able to be hurt by the others fighting for the crown. At what point do we become worthy of protection? Like we're told anyone can run but not everyone is equally protected in the eyes of the divine force. And the ones fighting under the holy mantle would uphold the corruption more than the ones willing to openly commit atrocities. The only answer is to tear it all apart and challenge every facet whether it's the immediate problem or not. The reality is that even though we keep saying Louis is the problem, Sanctism's doctrines are what creates the framework. So, they're both our enemy. Destroying the cathedral was probably correct.

I can't decide if the game is cheesy for telling me up front it's a Metaphor or if I knew what I was getting into so I can't say anything about the commentary being so blatant.

I'm looking forward to coming back to this post and seeing what I'm right about, what I'm wrong about, and how my opinions on the game change after another few days of playing. Remember!!! THESE ARE THE THOUGHTS OF SOMEONE WHO IS BARELY INTO THE WORLD OF THE GAME. I WILL LIKELY CHANGE THESE AS I PROGRESS. I AM ONLY JUST ARRIVING IN THE SECOND TOWN.

[4lph4kidz]

3, 4, 17, 18, 26 and 36 for the writer ask game. :3

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

i play ridiculous music when i can't concentrate and need stimulation. running in the 90s. mad rat monday. spamton CD. this kasane teto song which i have seen (accurately imo) described as penis music.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

i can't really... think of any? there are words i like but i wouldn't say i hoot and holler if i see a chance to use them, or see them crop up in someone else's work. themes and ideas, yeah! specific words... idk.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

i've been doing a lot of probably entirely unnecessary research for my latest WIP which is... hm! how about i dm you about that one.

on the subject of research, i'm under no illusions, catabolic seed is sheer scifi nonsense (affectionate). i've purposefully held off from getting too in the weeds with it because i know i would stress too much about complex worldbuilding and scientific accuracy, so a lot of stuff that isn't directly relevant to the plot is broad strokes stuff. as per the main inspiration, wolf 359, i'm leaning more on the workplace comedy at the start (because, haha, i have a job, he just like me fr) but i may develop the sci fi elements more once its time to fully bring them into the story. what i do have is: detailed bios and job descriptions for each character, a rough layout of the spaceship Hemera, notes on robotics and spacefaring technology, rival factions within the worldspace, some alien biology stuff... i'm a pretty big science nerd, and i enjoy good hard sci fi! but we're not doing that here, we're putting guys in situations. this is about genre. verisimilitude. you're getting good old fashioned technobabble.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

alright, how about this part from ch1 of catabolic seed! i made some pretty big last minute changes to the beginning of the fic because the pacing wasn't working, and i ended up pulling in a scene from much later in the story to serve as a dirkjake meet cute.

i like set up. establishing tone, creating atmosphere... the way you introduce a character, even one known already to the audience, is something i think is important and i enjoy playing with that a lot. originally jane was present and dirk was going to be pulling a bunch of wires out of the wall, which jane described as 'disemboweling her spaceship' but at some point i decided him popping out of the vent and scaring the shit out of jake seemed like a more fun idea so i ran with it. this establishses dirk as a potential threat, which leads to the stupid kabedon moment later, which leads to the jokes about the disney cruise liner and the engineering section flooding... i didn't have time to think it through all the way but as far as choices made on the fly go i think i made it work!

dirk being in the vents was also pulling from wolf 359, specifically referencing the character captain minkowski who i felt was kind of comprable to dirk in terms of her neuroses - it wasn't till i got someone else's eyes on it that they pointed out that i'd introduced dirk exactly like a fucking xenomorph, which was perfect, so i scrambled to insert a textual reference to the alien movies and doing some hasty worldbuilding while i was at it.

in general i think exploring the relationship from jake's point of view is super interesting. in an au where they don't already know each other, dirk is an interesting figure for jake to 'figure out' - aloof, mysterious, other - classic love interest stuff. which is perhaps less interesting than their deal in canon, but hey, i'm having fun running with it.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

hm, i don't know. i hyperfixated on the alpha kids pretty hard so i think i already have quite well-formed interpretations of their personalities and perspectives, it's not hard to dredge those up when i need them. i won't pretend my writing is for sure an accurate reflection of canon characterisation or anything but i'll go read passages from canon when writing and refining dialogue especially. and hmm. i do end up going to dark places sometimes, and nearly every fic ends up quite a bit darker than i mean it to... i'm totally fine. don't worry about it.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

be bisexual, eat hot chip and lie

aside from my aforementioned interests in genre fiction, or biology, i can see what i'm grappling with as a person reflected quite clearly in what i end up exploring in my work. i have the past experiences of being a queer teenager who had no idea what was going on, grappling with mental illness and feeling incredibly alone. or i can draw on my experiences as an adult, finding myself as a person, going out into the world, and all the struggles therein.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Hello...can I ask your opinion on yuumori HC? I really love reading your posts on them. Feel free if you want to ignore this ask, also I'm searching inspiration for fanfics, so do you mind if I take some of your answers (if it fits my story) for my fics? I want to ask first.

1) In modern setting, who is the best candidate as a single dad, sherlock or william? Also in what modern job, do you think that they can meet and get to know each other?

2) If sherlock is the older brother do you think it will change his behaviour? If will is way older (maybe 10 years or a lil bit more) than louis do you think it will change his goal?

3) From all the yuumori casts, who do you think most likely can be a good father and love to have a family?

I wrote a rare pair of mycroft and hudson (I know it's stupid, and yes I ship mycroft and albert) but what do you think of this rare pair?

4) Do you agree that william, seigi and richard are demi-sexual? And sherlock is bi?

Do you have a favorite yuumori or jewelery fics in ao3?

Sorry for this long ask, I understand if you're not answering, thanks if you want to answer.

I don’t write fanfiction, so if something I post on this blog makes people want to write fic, they can have at it. I know my meta sometimes influences the way people characterize the various characters in their fics, and I think that’s pretty cool. It’s nice to be credited or referenced, but it’s sort of hard to do that sometimes, so. Yeah, that’s a pretty blanket policy, though does not apply to any fiction bits and bobs I post here.

1a. Uhhhhhh, I mean, they could be single dads just as easily in the canon anachronistic timeline. Isn't the fun of writing fics like this being able to write whatever you want and what you find interesting?

I suppose if I had to write it (which would be a fascinating concept in itself; who is forcing random people to write fanfiction when they don’t wanna?), I guess I would kill off John (sorry John) and have Sherlock raising his kid as Uncle Sherly/Dad while trying to grieve his best friend.

1b. There’s no reason they couldn’t meet in a modern au with their current jobs. Sherlock is a detective that investigates crimes and mysteries, and Liam is a college professor who has a job with pretty open access to the public. There’s a million ways they could meet with those two jobs.

2a. I’ll be honest; I don’t think I can imagine Sherlock as an older brother. Even John is older than him. A big chunk of his personality is definitely “much loved and doted on baby of the family.” His personality would definitely change, but it would change so much I’m not sure he’d still be recognizably Sherlock.

2b. Liam is already so incredibly devoted and protective of Louis I don’t think a larger age gap would change that, but it might change their level of codependency and mutual reliance.

3a. Err…I don’t…know? John, because he’s the heterosexual one? Family is not really the standard definition in YuuMori.

3b. Mostly, I find it fascinating the way you phrased this as if Mycroft and Albert is the default, morally acceptable, necessary ship. And the way you act like shipping either of them with someone else would be mutually exclusive with shipping them with each other. I don’t ship Mycroft and Albert really. So what? You can ship people with whoever you want and as many people you want.

4. I do not think William is demi. I think William is encephalosexual. I think Sherlock also is. I have no idea why I would be expected to agree Sherlock is bi when that goes directly again canon (kind of; he could be bi and interested in men and nonbinary genders and thus be bi without attraction to women, but I feel this question is almost certainly assuming he’s attracted to women). He is explicitly not attracted to women in canon. I think Sherlock is mostly gay ace. Seigi and Richard are both probably demi, and Seigi might be bi. I have discussed all these interpretations at length on this blog already.

5. Not that I’m willing to share and link to, no.

[chamber-of-knowledge]

[Puts on tinfoil hat] Ok so I have some Thoughts about why this is happening and what it means, but the original post I made about it got waaay too long so I moved everything under a cut. The TLDR is that AJC and AJPW are connected in-universe by the lines of power, and that either a lightside or darkside victory will introduce a large gameplay element into both classic and play wild, most likely involving either Juno and the ancients, or Club Geoz and the Phantom Dimension respectively.

Strap in, everyone.

(This was very much inspired by @jambusaur's speculation, so credit to him!!)

Ok. Here's my best guess on what's going on here:

We're seeing meta-interaction between Animal Jam (Classic) and Animal Jam (Play Wild). I believe that the "power outside our world" refers to the energy from Play Wild Jamaa being channeled into the lines of power, which seems to be affecting the world of Animal Jam Classic, too. This suggests that the Jamaas of Classic and Play Wild connected through the lines of power, perhaps as parallel dimensions!

In one of Greely's journal entries, he mentions how the lines of power connect (Classic) Jamaa to the Phantom Dimension, and also speculates on the existence of other dimensions, beyond Classic Jamaa and the Phantom Dimension. In another, he directly references "A world very much like our own"

Classic Greely might be stumped for now, but we all know of exactly what other world is connected to Classic through light and dark power, that's currently bombarding the Lines with energy... and that world is PW Jamaa!

The implications of this are huge lore-wise, but what interests me the most about this is what a lightside or darkside victory could mean for gameplay. We get our first clue about what either side winning might result in from the symbols that light and dark energy are represented with...

I don't think it's a coincidence that the lightside symbol bares a very close resemblances to the symbols decorating the Temple of the Ancients in Baloosh. Why would this be the case?

It's referenced in the most recent PW journal entry that the animals have been fighting phantoms exclusively with "light energy", so it wouldn't be a stretch to assume that the ancients wielded it in their fight against the phantoms too.

But why not represent them with an ancient symbol, rather than anything else? I think it's for a very specific reason, one connected to something referenced in another of Greely's journal entries...

(gif from @ loginworlderror)

...because all of the energy raging through the lines of power is reawakening the long-dormant lightside technology left behind by the Ancients... and by the looks of it, even reawakening Juno themselves!

But the most exciting part is the emphasis on "SOMEWHERE ELSE" in Greely's note. If I'm following everything, then that somewhere else could very likely be the one place we know of being connected through the lines that isn't Classic Jamaa or the Phantom Dimension... Play Wild Jamaa! Which could mean that if the lightside emerges victoriously, perhaps Juno would have the power to cross over to PW altogether :D and from there... who knows!!!

But, you say, what happens if the darkside wins?

I think the theory that Club Geoz will replacing the Alpha HQ, as Jambusaur mentioned in his post, is pretty widely known so I won't talk about it much. It's worth mentioning how theory is also heavily supported by the "music" that keeps getting mentioned, though. Perhaps this strange music is coming from Club Geoz, back over in Classic Jamaa?

But if the introduction of Club Geoz into Classic were to be the only thing that comes from this, then why would the darkside be represented by a phantom? Perhaps because it's the phantoms who channel dark energy the most, but I think there's more to it than that...

A gameplay and worldbuilding feature of Play Wild for years has been the Phantom Dimension, and much like the ancients and their use of lightside energy, it draws its' power from the darkside. As Greely mentioned, the phantoms are able to travel through the phantom dimension to reach Jamaa(s). So if the darkside were to take control of the phantom dimension, we could possibly be getting our first classic update in YEARS, in the form of the Phantom Dimension arriving in AJC!!

None of this next information can be confirmed, but someone on an Animal Jam Discord server I'm in who's historically broken into game files to leak upcoming updates has teased a very big update for Animal Jam classic on the horizon. One that borrows content from Play Wild...

(And here's proof of their insight, in the form of leaked jamaa journal pages posted days before the official lines of power announcement)

(Bare in mind that I obviously don't condone hacking the game and breaking into game files, and I'm only bring this up for speculation).

Though, I wonder what would happen to Classic if the lightside were to win... maybe, keeping with the ancient theme, archosaurs could be added to Classic? They'd probably be quite popular, if the reception to that old Classic April Fools prank with the t-rex is anything to go by :P

SO, IN SUMMARY:

AJ Classic, AJ Play Wild, and the Phantom Dimension all exist as seperate 'realities' within the same universe, and are all connected by the lines of power

The ancients and Juno are connected to light energy, and a lightside victory could likely involve Juno in PW or Archosaurs in Classic

The phantoms and Club Geoz are connected to dark energy, and a darkside victory could likely involve Club Geoz replacing Alpha HQ in AJ Play Wild, and the Phantom Dimension arriving as a playable feature in AJ Classic.

Wow. My first big theory post. I definitely want to make more in the future, although they might lean close to headcanon territory sometimes :,) I'll just say [narrowing eyes] i'm not done with how deeply light and dark energy connect to Jamaa's history... But that's more than enough for now ToT I promise the next thing I post will be art

SHUT UP ITS HAPPENING

[aha-chuu]

Alhaitham and Kaveh's dynamic is interesting, because I've seen a lot of people say either "oh my god Kaveh is so mean" or "oh my god Alhaitham treats Kaveh terribly". But, quite importantly imo, in this quest Paimon remarks that she "doesn't know which one of them is more problematic".

I think when considering their relationship you need to look at intention. Do Hoyo want to villainise one of their popular husnandoes as a toxic asshole? No. Even the "villain" playable characters like Childe and Wanderer are nice/funny on occasion. Kaveh and Alhaitham's interactions are intended to be humorous, to make you gasp and say "oh wow I can't believe he just said that!".

Like, during the most recent story quest, for example. Kaveh accusing Alhaitham of having no empathy when he's clearly pretty emotionally stunted and decently moral is mean. But saying "At least I'd be a fungus with empathy!" Undercuts that - it's clear neither Alhaitham nor the player are suppose to take those words seriously.

Alhaitham dismissing Kaveh's field of work with "you work yourself to death just for a smile" is so belittling, but it's a retort to Kaveh saying his scribe job is at "rock bottom" in the Akademiya. Alhaitham isn't lashing out or trying to demean Kaveh in front of others (this interaction happens after the player has "left"); he's just continuing their verbal sparring match. I think people take this jab so seriously because it can be seen as a jab at a lot of people working out of passion, but in the context of the dialogue we're not supposed to regard it so deeply.

It's also fairly clear that nobody in game takes them seriously either. Tighnari says Kaveh is "as pent up as an anemo slime" in his Alhaitham voiceline - another funny quip - and Collei details how hard it was to suppress her laughter when Kaveh was talking about Alhaitham. Nobody thinks they're genuinely bad for one another, or that getting them separated is all that crucial.

Even the interactions in this story quest are just so silly and domestic: Kaveh can't get the painting straight, Alhaitham buys ugly furniture, they're arguing about rent and drink tabs, Kaveh is doing an unfair amount of housework and Alhaitham fucks off without entertaining his own guests. it's funny, or at least it is clearly intended to be.

I've heard that in the other dubs the VAs tones are different and it makes the lightheartedness clearer. Personally I've thought since their first interaction in the AQ that Alhaitham is having fun during their quarrels, and Kaveh is just melodramatic enough to act traumatised even if he isn't truly offended.

Then when it comes to whether their dynamic is supposed to be read platonically or romantically... Well Hoyo won't do anything canon, but it's hard to argue that there is no intentionality in how their relationship is portrayed. What other character(s) has an idle animation directly referencing their relationship with another character? How many other voicelines explicitly reference two characters as a pair? Nahida's Kaveh voiceline, Collei's, Tighnari's - I'm sure there are more. "Roommates" "senior & junior" "academic rivals" -> certainly there's a case to be made that they're just very close, but Kaveh and Alhaitham getting fifteen minutes of epilogue interaction in two different quests (where none of the content is related to either quest) says something. Fanservice, quite possibly.

Also Kaveh's line "We used to be friends, but not anymore"; I've seen plenty of people interpret this as "oh we're not friends, we're dating*". I think this is fun in fanon, but on a canon level it's basically a promise by Hoyo to fix (or explain) their current dynamic. Hoyo, for all their many faults, are detail orientated enough to follow up on such a line. Perhaps it will just be in Kaveh's voicelines/character stories, but I anticipate a future event or Kaveh hangout in relation to their bond. Nothing explicit, but more exploration. It's fairly clear Alhaitham and Kaveh are popular enough characters to warrant it.

All this to say: I have lots of thoughts. I have seen people call them toxic and (while idm the drama of that in fanon shipping) that isn't really the intended case in canon. Or, at the very least, the intention is not to to take their squabbling so seriously.

[shelledone]

Hi blaseblogger! I'm kinda behind on the parker lore. How many are there and what happened to them all?

hi! you've come to the right place, because i'm the kind of fan who thinks about parker macmillan Every Waking Moment of My Life. this isn't a concise summary, but hopefully it's supplementary: operating under the assumption you already know a little bit about our dear commissioner, there have been four parkers that we've seen so far! starting in pre-history 1 of blaseball, there's the original Parker MacMillan (nicknamed "prime" by fans). prime was a player who came pre-packed with a unique modification called Profit, which let him pay out ten times the amount of coins for any snackholders who idolized him (on a sidenote, it's been heavily implied that this modifier was given to him directly by The Coin thanks to passages in the library, alongside the commissioner's own tweets referencing her - which, coupled with the now-deleted tweet about his mom "working in equity" is definitely, uh, interesting. i'll let you extrapolate from that what you will). making a long story short, some teams were not a fan of prime, and after a series of unfortunate events and hexes, he basically became a harbinger of death for the entire pre-history league: he was forced to roam to a new team every 9 days, with the teams he left behind becoming collectively unstable. this streak of destruction culminated when prime was vaulted - preserved as a player, but removed from play - with the rest of the league being reset, continuing without him for the unforeseeable future. his existence was revealed to us in the library's passages on pre-history in season 23, which prompted an identity crisis out of our poor commissioner and our collective realization that prime would inevitably break out of confinement thanks to certain events. he's alive (though inactive), and currently a player on the (main timeline's) hades tigers. as mentioned, we didn't know of parker prime until season 23 - the first one we met was actually commissioner parker macmillan III (nicknamed "park3r"), who wasn't too different from the ever-confused commissioner we currently have, if a bit more stand-offish. he was the figurehead of the blaseball account up until season 11, where he was unfortunately incinerated by an umpire during an incredibly convoluted in-discord community event that i couldn't possibly explain in this post. he has the record for most crimes committed out of any commissioner, and we miss him every day. RIV. parker macmillan IIII (or "p4rker") appeared a few hours after 3's untimely death, and he was our commissioner for only a couple days before participating in the coffee cup tournament, wherein he was "percolated". p4rker is known best for being the kindest parker we've had so far (though whether or not this was due to his legal obligation to be friends with everybody at SIBR is unclear), and he was incredibly happy to play blaseball for us, even if just for those few rounds. he is also dearly missed. RIV. now, parker macmillan IIII (or "pvrker") is the one we've known the longest now (his first birthday was last month!), and he's made some remarkable strides when compared to his predecessors - most notable of course being the time he wielded The Microphone in order to interrupt The Coin's speech in season 24. despite the literal apocalypse of blackhole(blackhole) nullifying all of blaseball, he's seemingly managed to stick it out okay, and has been doing his best to give us updates on the now-ongoing short circuits being broadcasted through The Microphone (of which we suspect he has no control over, anymore). beyond these guys, there's also the elusive parker II, which we've seen and heard nothing of besides a few offhand (and now deleted?) tweets from park3r that referenced his theoretical existence back during the discipline era. whether or not he's alive or (more likely) dead, we're uncertain, though it's likely pre-history 2 will have some answers as to his existence and fate, whenever those passages make themselves known to us. um. yeah! hope this answers your question? sorry this post is so long. parker's just some guy(s). there's a lot of them, but i love them all very much. i hope this post helps you to enjoy him a little more, as well.

[janus-stanus]

Hi there! I'm the commenter on your fic These Good Lies who wanted to know what happened to Thomas that Janus is keeping under wraps. Do you wanna tell me here, after all?

Hi! I come with the answers you seek. I'll even post it publically since some of my followers might be interested in how this factors into my general Janus takes - because, while I can't imagine this ever being canon, it is, to some extent, canon to me.

First, for context, is the bit in Those Good Lies for those who haven't read it: Thomas asks Janus why he hid himself from him, then whether they ever talked before that point. Janus tells him not to press the issue, but Thomas does, and he experiences a vision of a memory where teenage Janus is trying and failing to convince him of something, but then there's some kind of magic blast hurtling towards them,

And Janus sees it. He turns to see it, then turns back to Thomas, and then he- He-

That's where the vision cuts off. The full scene is the... midpoint, I suppose, of a multi-chapter backstory fic I have half-outlined but will likely never finish, titled would you leave yourself alone (when everything goes dark), or goodbye dark sides as a joking shorter alternative.

If you want to know what actually happened and some of the context, you'll find the spoilers below the read more. I'll warn you now, it's long, and melodramatic, but hopefully enjoyably so.

When the fic begins, Thomas is a preteen, and the sides aren't officially split between the light / core and the dark / others. However, Remus is already a pariah, and there is something of a rift between the sides who are friends with him, and the sides who, at best, tolerate him. All of the sides have stopped appearing to Thomas and conversing directly like they used to as kids, and Janus is tasked with keeping Remus in particular from having much influence at all... though Janus keeps him on a looser leash than, say, Patton might prefer.

The moment which gets referenced in Those Good Lies starts with Remus, who with Janus's limited permission has been trying to reach out to and bond with Thomas in his dreams, pulling Thomas into the Imagination while he's supposed to be paying attention in English class. Virgil finds out and tries to intervene, but, long story short, it backfires. He loses control over Thomas's fears, and suddenly there's a monster on the loose.

The other sides show up soon enough (minus Logan, who's trying to keep things on lockdown from the outside). They try to make Thomas snap out of it (thus ejecting him from the Imagination), but his fear has him rooted in place. So, while the others deal with the monster, Janus is tasked with protecting Thomas.

Keeping one eye on the monster fight, Janus continues trying to convince Thomas that none of this is real, concerned that, if he's genuinely scared of this product of his own mind, then it could genuinely hurt him. He's using something of a prototype for his comforting lies voice - hence the line in Good Lies, "He [Thomas] knows the voice; he knows how it’s supposed to make him feel."

But Thomas won't believe him. It isn't helped by the fact Janus's scales had only started coming in after the point where the sides stopped appearing to Thomas, or at least hadn't been as bad as they now are (which is more than in current canon). A bit harder to trust the words coming from a face like that.

At this point, I'm going to copy-paste from my Google Docs (which is written in past tense).

Janus realized that there was no convincing Thomas, not with words alone. He needed to experience something; a shock that would trigger the subconscious to force boot him from his own head. And it was at that moment that he sensed the projectile heading straight for them.

What happened in Janus’s mind in the next few seconds was something like a conversation.

Move, said the part of him that was self-preservation. Don’t, said the part of him that was Thomas’s self-preservation.

Move, said the part of Janus that knew (or believed, in this moment, enough (hopefully) to make it true) that Thomas would not really be hurt by this. Don’t, said the part of him that couldn’t swallow it, out of disbelief or apathy.

Move. Some hurt is unavoidable. Some hurt is necessary.

Don’t. I got him into this, I can’t let myself Don’t. I’m here to look out for him, I can’t

Let him get hit. This is the only way to end this nightmare; if we don’t terminate it now, things will only get worse, until we won’t have a choice in the matter.

You don’t know that. We don’t know that. What if... What if seeing me get hit would be enough t-

He won’t care. Move.

That voice was the one in his head when time ran out. So that’s what he did.

...

Good news, it works. And no one else saw that Janus let Thomas get hit.

Bad news:

Things got so crazy in there that Logan wasn't able to keep Thomas from vocally expressing some of his thoughts/feelings during the crisis. In the middle of class.

Janus proceeds to have an existential crisis over this choice he made and seriously questions, between this and the whole arc of the fic leading up to this where he (and Remus) were working to shape Thomas into a less "good" person purportedly for the sake of fitting in with his middle school peers and helping him "grow up", whether he's actually good for Thomas. Janus has such a breakdown over this, in fact, that it causes the first instance of him splitting in his room.

Long story short, Thomas's sense of self is in a precarious place, debatably even more so than at the start of the fic. All he knows is that he wants to be good.

And if Janus is self-preservation and denial, and Thomas wants to believe he's good... then he'll make it possible for him to believe that. He'll save Thomas from the worst of himself.

And hopefully, in doing so, he'll make it possible for him to trust himself again.

...Which is why Janus would really rather Thomas not start unearthing those memories in Those Good Lies, at a point where a) he's currently going through a similar personal crisis (if on a longer timeline and with less immediate stakes), and b) Janus has only just begun cultivating his trust.

There's a lot more going on in this fic, with the main arc I mentioned, how Remus is affected by the fallout of the monster attack, and stuff with the other sides, but I'm forcing myself not to give too much away. Perhaps I'd be willing to divulge more if people ask? Not tonight though, I'm tired.

I hope these ramblings were enjoyable! I love thinking about the contradiction of how Janus is the embodiment of selfishness, but the distance between him and Thomas means that he's selfless in the pursuit of "someone else's" selfishness, and this whole little scene is really just a crystallization of that. Plus the monster representing- well. I can't say. Not yet. :)