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shrimptacodaniels · 29 days ago

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all i know is you make sense (pt. 3)

WOO!! we love when i have time to write!! thank you again for being so lovely, sleepy babies 😚

happy reading!! i get a little silly with the canon in this one (not in a way that’s unbelievable, just in a way that’s a little funky) - enjoy your easter eggs ;)

ps - the sense is taste in this one!

———

“Oh this is a favorite,” Bernice gasps. “Halloween costumes.”

“Mom-“ Alexa whines, placing a hand on the album in light protest, “put it down. Why’d you even pack these?”

“It’s tradition!” Bernice flips the book open. “And it’s funny. You girls were a hoot.”

Alexa looks like she wants to die. Kat’s matching her expression eerily well.

Huh. Sisters.

Josh considers the situation he’s in - something he’s done many-a-time since last week. He had been on the phone with his best friend in the world when an agonized groan came from her side of the line.

“Shit.”

“Kat?”

“Sorry. Thanksgiving’s this week, huh.” It’s supposed to be a question. Something tells him it’s not.

“Yeah,” Josh answers slowly.

“My family’s in town. Mom’s renting out a place in Mountport for the week to get us all under one roof again. Lex’ll be there. Carm won’t, lucky bastard.”

“Kat, love, I know your family’s not great, but is there a specific hold-up? I mean it’s just a couple of hours.”

“They’re like, wildly out of touch,” Kat starts. He hears the thump of her setting her phone down and waits a second for her to switch to speaker phone.

“Meaning?” he prompts.

“Super duper strange and super duper homophobic.” Josh would bet money she’s doing pathetic little jazz hands to accentuate her point.

“Haven’t seen them in years, either, so they don’t- wait. Hold on.”

Josh, dutifully, holds on.

“Do you have plans on Thursday?”

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ for emphasis.

“I think we can agree that we’re soulmates, yes?”

“Platonically, I would absolutely say so.”

“I have an idea,” she says, “and you can absolutely say no…”

And so now he’s looking at photos of baseball legend Alexa McGovern (when she was ten years old Alexa Renee Faulkner), grimacing as she holds a newborn Katrina Eileen Faulkner.

His “girlfriend.”

“Alexa went as a Ninja Turtle for five consecutive years,” Bernice points out. Her finger traces the purple bandana around young Alexa’s eyes idly. “The girl one, of course. Purple always was your color, dear.”

Sorry, the girl one?! Josh was beginning to understand what Kat meant by “out of touch.” He tries for a polite smile.

“We thought you were going to grow up to be a ninja turtle,” Kat’s father (Theodore?) adds with a wink. “You were a blessing to shop for.”

There’s a general buzz of laughter from the room. Kat just hums an affirmative through a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh, and Carmen,” Bernice sighs, flipping the page. “She always made her own costumes. Big on expressing herself. She was our quiet storm, hm Teddy?”

“Our little black cat,” Theodore supplies.

Score. Josh got his name right.

“Remind me where she is, Bernice?” Alexa’s husband, Morgan, asks the question like he already knows the answer.

“Touring with her band, dear,” Bernice responds absently. “She’ll be home in Prairieville for Christmas.”

“Touring with her emo band,” Vanessa interjects. She’s the youngest one here, a Freshman in college. Kat’s niece.

It’s evident she’s trying to press some buttons. He can kind of see the resemblance from that fact alone.

“It’s not emo, Vanessa.” There’s a vicious chastisement behind Bernice’s mild words. “She’s simply expressing herself.”

“Her band name is Every Place I Cry, Grandma.”

Carmen. Carmington Tre?!

Yet another thing they have to talk about on the way home.

“Now young lady, you are reading too far into things! Carmen is a deep thinker.”

“She believes in horoscopes. So much so that she talks about it every week for public consumption,” Vanessa points out drily, “not much depth there.”

“You’re young.” Bernice looks furious. “You don’t understand the nuances.”

“Kids and their labels, Bernice. Ain’t got no education, but a buttload of opinions.” Theodore wheezes a laugh.

Josh hates every word that comes out of this man’s mouth.

He pokes at Katrina with his elbow.

“Hm?” she asks, a filler more than anything. He leans to speak into her ear.

“So one of your sisters is a baseball player who grew up wanting to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and the other is in an emo band, co-hosting an astrology podcast as a side hustle.”

“Mhm.”

“And you’re the lesbian?”

She laughs at that, nudging him back. “Shut up.”

Kat’s Aunt Camilla smiles at the two of them. “Swapping secrets, lovebirds?”

Josh matches her energy alarmingly well. “No ma’am. Katrina and I have no secrets.”

It’s not at all an answer. Like, truly. But it’s exactly what Camilla wants to hear.

“An honest man is hard to find these days, you know,” she coos. “You’ll do nicely for our Trina.”

He readjusts their arms, still intertwined, to grab Katrina’s hand firmly. “I hope so.”

She hates being called Trina. He squeezes twice.

I’m sorry.

She squeezes back.

Thanks. Not your fault.

“You wanna grab the cranberry sauce from the car, love?” he asks, fishing for his keys. He meets her eyes.

Take a minute. Before you kill your whole family.

He can see her response in the crease of her brow. They might kill you.

Then only be a minute. He smiles lopsidedly.

“Got it, hon.” She grabs the keys from him and plants a kiss on his forehead.

—

The cold air somehow feels less brutal than the incomprehensible energy inside the “Faulkner house.” Katrina exhales, taking it in.

“Alright, cut the crap.”

Vanessa is propped up against the wall dividing their rental and the neighboring property. Katrina looks at her niece in bafflement.

When did she get here?

“You’re gonna have to be more specific, kid.”

Vanessa quirks an eyebrow at that. It’s like they’re in a stand-off right now. Stakes feel high. But what are the stakes?

“That guy is not your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, Ness, I hired a guy on findmyarmcandy.com,” she snorts. “Caught me.”

“Oh I’m not saying you don’t know him.” There’s something overly sweet about the tone she’s using. It’s familiar.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

It’s like Mom.

Katrina doesn’t like it.

“I’m just saying you’re obviously a lesbian.”

Oh. Katrina doesn’t like this at all.

“Woah dude,” she starts, palms raised. Defensive. “Back up.”

“Am I wrong?”

Katrina’s an excellent liar. Most of the time. She’s always been good at slipping through traps - weaving her way through teenage life under her parent’s watchful eyes, through moves and jobs and relationships. A quiet, calculating, unremarkable youngest daughter. An actuary to her core - risk-averse and crafty as anything.

But recently, she’d gotten awful good at being seen, too. At taking risks. At opening up. At bearing her true self with pride.

Damn. Josh ruined her.

She inhales sharply then lets it go. Fine. This is fine.

“No,” she says carefully. “You’re not wrong.”

As expected, Vanessa’s eyebrows shoot up strikingly fast.

“You gonna tell your mom?” she challenges. Ness loves an argument. The more steam Katrina can get her to blow off now, the less there is for later.

“Dunno.” Her eyebrows are still raised. “Are you gonna tell my mom?”

“Haven’t thought that far,” she says, because she honestly hasn’t. Lex has always been a level of unattainable Katrina hasn’t even wanted to process.

Vanessa shrugs. A peace offering.

“Fair. I don’t want to tell her either.”

Now Katrina’s the one who’s shocked.

“Don’t want to tell her I’m gay?”

“No. I don’t want to tell her I am.”

“Oh, Ness-“

And before Vanessa can protest, she’s wrapped in Katrina’s arms. There’s nothing but them in the mist for a minute. Then, Katrina begins to speak.

“The guy in there? The one I’m with? He’s my best friend in the world,” she starts, swaying the two of them gently. “And he’s the only person I have protecting me. He chose to do that. Now the cool thing is,” she wants to look Vanessa squarely in the eye when she says this, “you’ve got the both of us. And I know it’s not as good as having a full family of people that accepts you, but it’s a start. Your people will choose you.”

Vanessa looks suspiciously close to tears. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Katrina smiles. “You got yourself a girlfriend?”

“Her name is Brittany and she’s the coolest person I know.” Gosh, the way she lights up so immediately is infectious.

Maybe there is something good about the holidays.

“Good. I wanna meet her.”

“Only if I get to meet yours.”

“Wh-“

“Don’t even, Aunt Katrina.” Vanessa shoots her a mischievous grin. “Takes one to know one.”

Katrina laughs. “It’s a deal. Now come on, the Tofurkey’s gonna get cold.”

“Ugh, let it.” Vanessa wrinkles her nose. “Shit’s disgusting.”

“Language, Ness. Let’s go.”

They both know she means nothing by it.

Josh is at the door when they walk back in. Vanessa nods to the two of them, sauntering past.

“Miss me?” Katrina teases.

“That was more than a minute,” Josh says lightly in reply. “You’ll tell me later?”

“You bet your ass, babe.”

“Ew, babe.” Josh sticks his tongue out in distaste at the pet name.

She chuckles. “If you think that’s gross, I’d love to see your reaction to the Tofurkey.”

The Tofurkey is terrible. Not because he hates tofu (he doesn’t), just because Bernice doesn’t know how to cook.

The debrief after they leave in Kat’s beat up Chevy is far more filling. Soul food, if you will. The lightness in her is so obvious when they’re together. He missed it when she was with her family.

Huh. She shines brighter when she’s with him.

The waning minutes before they go to sleep, wine drunk in Katrina’s apartment, are gentle. They take opposite ends of the couch, their legs intertwined in the middle. Kat taps her toe against his shin.

“Hey,” she smiles sleepily. “Grateful for you.”

“Hey.” He smiles back. “Grateful for you.”

They fall asleep like that, with the knowledge that there are people that make life worth living.

And that the search is worth it.

#falcon thieves #play it by ear #pibe fanfic #jkeu #joust because #pibe #the sillies

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riaarivic · 2 years ago

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HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

🌙 Pairings YoongixReader

🌙 Genres Mafia!AU, Smut, Angst, Action, Thriller, Enemies to lovers

🌙 Rating 18+ minors DNI

🌙 Summary You were an INTERPOL Agent assigned to infiltrate the depths of the most powerful Gang in South Korea: The Seven Moons. Your objective: to impersonate the daughter of one of their leaders and destroy the operation from within. That is, if they don't discover you first.

And Traitors won’t have the mercy of a quick death

🌙 Warnings For this chapter: Minor character death, drugs, foul language, mentions of organized crime. If any of theses topics make you unconfortable, please don't read this chapter. This is a mafia au, and organized crime is not all handsome boys and nice cars. This chapter and the next one are DARK.

So, if any of this triggers you, see you on chapter 12. Don't worry, you'll still understand the story. But no, this is not a filler chapter.

🌙 A/N At no time do I (the author) encourage this activity in real life, it is important that you know that the criminal acts in this book are that, a crime, as well as harmful to health and should not be romanticized. This is all a work of fiction for entertainment purposes.

Love, Ria

🌙 Chapter wordcount 5k (the longest one yet)

🌙 Series Index

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

HATE 10: UGH! (M) I MYG x F!reader

Rage? Of course you need it When it burns up there's always a reason Mayhaps it’s our history Sometimes it changes the world

Anger.

That was all Suga could feel right now.

Red, hot, flaming anger.

That’s all he could feel since he received the call from JHope telling him that you had been kidnapped and no one knew where you were.

But the worst was when he learned who was suspected for your disappearance.

The Jade Dragon.

Of course anger was necessary.

He felt like a man about to lose his sanity.

But before he did…

He would kill a few men first.

The dimly-lit interrogation room was filled with the stench of sweat and fear. Suga stood across from an old man in cuffs, his ruined demeanor did not change the fact that he once was one of the most powerful men in the Asian mafia clans.

Wang Jiaer.

The former second in command of the Jade Dragon.

That Kim Dohan captured and thrown into a wet, dimly lit room in the basement of the Seven Moons Mansion.

Like a fallen warrior.

That was turned into a war souvenir for Kim DoHan.

"Where is she?" Suga demanded.

The old man coughed, spewing blood on the concrete floor of the dimly lit basement. He grimaced, his wrinkled face twisting into a grotesque smile. “Still haven’t learned any manners I see, young man.”

Suga glowered at the former leader of Jade Dragon, his grip tightening on the baseball bat in his hands. “You seem awfully cheerful for a dead man, old timer.”

"I don't know what you're talking about," the man stammered, his eyes darting around the room. The old man chuckled. “I’ve been dead for 20 years, boy. Your Leader just didn’t have the balls to finish the job.” His grin widened, showcasing his blood stained teeth. “Not like you.”

Suga swung the bat, smashing the old man’s fingers with a sickening crack. The man shrieked, his pained cries echoing in the empty basement. "Where is she?" she asked for a second time.

The man's eyes widened in surprise. "What makes you think that I would know something about it? I'm here," he said, lifting his hand to show the cuffs “and my clan is done for, your Leader made sure of it.”

"Because nothing happens above ground without you hearing about it," Suga replied, his eyes narrowing. "And I don’t know, the pile of bodies with a pretty memo sitting on Jhope’s bay with your clan emblem on it, might really send a message.”

The young gangster rounded the table that stood between them to be in front of the old man “I am going to ask only one more time. We’ll see how many more parts of you I’ll have to break before you die,” He paused “Where is Lee NaRi?”

The old man panted, his mangled fingers twisting at unnatural angles. But his eyes glinted with amusement. “Still don’t have the stomach for this, do you boy?”

Suga grabbed the old man’s collar and hauled him up from the chair, growling into his bruised face. “Do not fucking test me, Wang”

The old man chuckled. “You bark loud but your bite is lacking. I told you, the Jade Dragon clan is finished. I have been your family’s pet for 2 decades, I know nothing.”

The man gave him a low chuckle. "But I did hear about that, corpse container. Nice touch, a litte on the dramatic side. Not our style though" he paused and leaned towards Suga. “Oh, yes. You look just like your father, boy. He must be very proud in whatever deep corner of hell he ended up...”

“I DO NOT HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR YOUR GAMES, WANG!” Suga screamed at the man’s face, interrupting him, his gaze piercing. "And my father is Kim Dohan. He is very much alive," he said, his voice dripping with venom. "Start talking, and if you say something of value I might give you something you want."

"You and I both know that is not your father's name. And what do you know about what I want, young man?" the man asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Death” Suga said simply “you know there’s nothing for you outside these walls anymore. You want release”

“Oh, no. I want retribution, young man. I want Kim Dohan’s entire bloodline to suffer and disappear from the face of the Earth. I want that everything he has ever wanted to be suddenly ripped from his bloody hands… and only then, I want to die” Suga could see the warrior inside the old second in command; he was beaten, malnourished, there wasn’t an inch of skin that wasn’t bruised.

But he still commanded power.

Suga let out a tired sigh knowing there was no other way to make Wang talk. So he let go of the baseball bat he had on his hands to bow his head.

“Please.”

His men behind him looked at him in shock.

One of the young leaders of The Seven Moons was…

Beggin.

Even the old second in command couldn’t believe what he was witnessing. But he semed to be pleased.

“You must really care for this girl If you are willing to trade your pride for her” The old man sighed and tried to stand up, but his bruised legs could not let him. He extended one hand to take Suga’s “We did not do it. That is all I know. We are not responsible for the girl’s disappearance.” His voice was a dead man's sincerity. Suga knew he wasn't lying.

He didn't have to.

“Then who took her? Someone else is pulling the strings, someone on the inside. They knew where she was going and that she only had one bodyguard with her. Was it...was it my brother? Was it Namjoon?” Suga tried and failed to not let his voice break.

Anger was starting to wear off.

And something else was bubbling inside him.

The old man sighed, shaking his head with an incredulous smile. “Your family and your trust issues. Always so quick to turn on your own blood.” His eyes glinted ominously. “The person responsible for the girl’s kidnapping is the same person who is responsible for the death of your father and the disappearance of your mother”

“My mother is dead.”

“Did you see a body? Listen young boy, you came here looking for the truth. And this is the only one I can give you. After all this time, at least you showed some manners and I owe it to her.” The old man paused and he knew he was waiting for him to continue “Your Leader killed your grandfather. To start the clan wars and then he killed your father. But Kim DoHan could never kill your mother”

The room went silent.

Like the moment right after a lighting strikes.

Suga was waiting for the thunder.

“Your mother is alive. Young man, and I think is time you go see her, she will know where the girl is. If you can find her first.” The look on Suga's face was a mix of confusion and anger.

“I gave you what you wanted and I kept my promise” the man whispered. “Now give me what I want”

With a swift move Suga got his gun outside his holster and shot the old man right between his eyes.

Death.

A clean shot.

There it was, the thunder.

The terrifying sound hat announced the beginning of the storm that was starting to brew on Suga’s soul.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙

Location unknown, South Korea

Tap...

A leak was falling from the ceiling, the lack of windows and the artificial light coming in from the other room told you that you were in some sort of basement.

You were starting to regain consciousness and your survival instinct kicked in immediately.

Your brain was on agent mode observing everything that could tell you anything about where you were and who were your captors.

Your eyes started traveling around the room, the walls are made of rough concrete, with no decorations or furnishings to make the space more comfortable. A metal door with a small window and a sliding bolt lock separates the basement from the rest of the building, making escape impossible.

The only furniture in the room is a mattress on the floor, a bucket in the corner for waste disposal, and a small table with a lamp and a chair where the protagonist's captor might sit to watch over her. The air is musty and stale, with a faint smell of dampness and mildew.

Remember every fucking thing you see, there is no time for a panick attack. You thought.

Pay attention.

You could distinguish a factory logo on the wall in front of you.

There were no such buildings in Seoul, so you must be on the outskirts?

Unless, you had been moved to another state while you were unconscious.

You could also tell that you were nowhere near the coast by the absence of saltpeter in the structures.

You knew that at least three men were in charge of you, all carrying firearms and pocket knives.

But from what you had seen they had no clan markings.

Not a single tattoo.

Nothing to identify them.

That was strange...

That was all you had been able to discover so far, you weren’t sure how long you had been in that room

They kept you drugged, almost unconscious for the most part. But you could guess that it had been at least a day because they had fed you twice.

So far none of the men had spoken to you, they just went in to bring you food and came back out. Without looking at you, if you spoke to them they did not respond.

You heard them speaking in a dialect you could not quite place. But you knew it was from China.

Which was weird.

The members from the Jade Dragon were all from Beijing, a few of them from some northern regions.

But you were almost sure they were speaking in Wu.

Which was fucking weird.

Because the Shanghai triad did not work with the Jade Dragon.

Not at all.

You said it two times before.

It was weird.

You were sitting on a mattress that seemed to be dirtier than the floor itself; with your hands starting to feel numb from the restraints that immobilized you. Your head hurt a little and you could still hear a ringing in your ears from the loud blow you had taken.

You were almost sure that you had a concussion and that the head wound was going to leave a scar...

At the very least.

You knew it was useless to try to escape even if she broke free of your restraints because you had been unconscious when you were taken there. You had no idea how far you were from the exit, nor how many men might be outside the place.

You were very good in combat but going outside like this was suicide.

Fuck.

You knew perfectly well the dangers you were exposing yourself to every time you accepted a mission. This was not the first time you have been in such a situation.

There were some scars on your skin that were proof of how dangerous your job was.

And then…

There were the other scars you couldn't see.

Those really hurt.

You had to stay calm.

Your best hope was that you would be found soon.

At least you hoped so.

No, you knew Yoongi would look for you.

Hopefully he was going to find you alive.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙

Suga just killed a man.

And he was about to kill another.

Specifically the one who let you leave the house with only one bodyguard.

“Namjoon!” Suga kicked open the doors to the meeting room where all his brothers were. “If even one hair on her head isn't intact when we find her, I'm going to kill you. It's a fucking promise”

Suga was past the point where he could control himself.

Anger was a fire that consumed everything in its path and the Second in Command would be the first target.

“Suga. Know. Your fucking. Place” Namjoon, who was sitting on the top of the table, barked each of the words as an order “I won't let you talk to me that way.”

The black-haired man let out a sinister laugh “Ah, you won’t? Then tell me brother, how is it that Nari, who is supposed to be our greatest responsibility, left this house without enough protection? “He paused when he was in front of him “With your permission?”

On the meeting room’s table you could see open computers and messy papers sprawled everywhere you looked.

To say that the seven Moons were in chaos was an understatement.

And what made things worse The Leader sent them a clear message:

He will not help them find the young heiress.

You were their responsibility.

And whatever happened to you.

Kim DoHan swore to his sons, he would do it to them.

“I don't have to explain anything I do to you, Suga” Namjoon looked right into his eyes. Even if Suga was raging like a demon fresh out of hell, the Second in Command was intimidating. A calm sinister demeanor surrounding him.

“You don't have to explain yourself?!? “ That was enough for the clan’s shadow to lose control and throw the first punch straight to his face “You break a promise, you lose a finger remember? Didn't we all swear to protect our father?” Suga screamed right at Namjoon’s face, Jhope tried to separate them but The eldest brother held him back.

“This is on them,” he said.

Suga threw a second punch and this time Namjoon didn't dodge it, he let him hit him again “Do it then.” He took out a knife from his coat pocket “Start by cutting my finger. But after you finish with mine, you are next. Or did you forget that we also swore not to touch her?” The black-haired man's eyes widened, he knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding his nightly trips to the girl's window.

The taller one held the knife by the edge of the blade hard enough for drops of blood to start dripping on the expensive fur rug. “Did you think no one would find out that you spend every night in her room? Weren't you supposed to follow her everywhere? Why didn't you follow her today? Where were you at the beauty salon?”

Shit.

As hard as it was for him to admit it, he had failed you too.

This morning he had decided to go to settle some unfinished business instead of following you as he had been doing since the day you arrived in Seoul.

That made his blood boil even more.

But he wasn't going to explain himself to that jerk Namjoon.

“No answer? How about this one, do you think father doesn't already know what you have been doing? I'm going to find her Suga, and when I do I'm going to make sure of two things.” Namjoon paused, the light seemed to drain from his eyes, replaced by a menacing darkness. “The first thing I’ll make sure of is that you never touch her again. And the second one is that you are completely out of the clan's inheritance” he finished his voice sounding more like a growl.

“You know what the funniest thing is Kim Namjoon? That you think you deserve everything, that you can control everything. Just because for now you are the right hand of the clan.” The other brothers were standing still in the room, none of them could challenge their Second in Command.

Never like that.

Unless you were Suga and didn't give a shit if you lost a finger or your whole arm “Do you think your pathetic attempt to intimidate me really works? Go ahead, cut off your own finger and keep spilling blood on the carpet. It won't be a waste, after all you're not the true heir to this clan's legacy.... “

“That's enough hyungs, damn it! While you two are playing who has the biggest dick or the purest blood or some other ridiculous bullshit. Nari-Noona is somewhere scared, alone and who knows what they might be doing to her.” To everyone's surprise, the youngest of the brothers was the one who dared to interrupt them “For God's sake, a week ago they sent us a container of corpses, what do you think they're going to do to the heir of this clan?”

Suga and Namjoon turned in surprise to look at their younger brother, there were very few occasions when JK was disrespectful to them “We are wasting time, because in the best case scenario... they are going to kill her”

And in the best case scenario The Leader would kill them for failing in their mission.

“You are right, Joon," Jin, who was sitting at the other end of the table, stood up to look at his brothers. "This is the third time we are under direct attack, so I called my police contacts. Every inch of Seoul has at least one surveillance camera and Miss Nari was kidnapped in the only place where there wasn't one. They have contacts, at least with the security department.”

Seokjin was always the most controlled of the brothers, every step he took was well calculated. So many years involved with the high forces of his country's politics had taught him to remain calm in crisis.

And even if he couldn't get any answers, something was very wrong.

“I have 5 Hacker squads trying to trace her digital footprint, there is nothing, she disappeared” Jhope was the next one to speak “We are all worried, but this is already bordering on ridiculous, you have to stop fighting.” The others nodded in agreement with what the brown-haired man had just said.

Suga threw the knife to the ground and made an exasperated sound “You're right, I'm wasting my time with you.” He finally said and crossed the doors that would lead him to the mansion’s garden.

When Suga was outside the house he felt someone grab him by the arm “Hey, the fuck is happening to you? You're not like that Hyung” it was Jhope who had followed him from the other room, clearly worried about him “Why are you so worked up? Are you... are you in love with her?”

“I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, Hope” he answered trying to hide any emotion on his face.

Indifference was his best weapon.

But not with Jhope.

The younger man's eyes softened a little as he understood his brother's expression “Please don't lie to me, Hyung. I've known you since we were kids and we've both taken a bullet for each other...but if I was kidnapped today you wouldn't lose your head. Not like this.”

It was true, he had taken a bullet for Jhope years ago in the middle of a shootout but he probably wouldn't have a catfight in the middle of the room with Namjoon to protect him.

Probably.

“Let me rephrase the question. Do you care that much?” Suga knew he couldn’t lie to Jhope, his younger brother knew him too well. He could see through his every facade.

The thing is, he didn't know the answer himself.

Did he like having sex with you? Hell yes.

Did he like talking to you? Yes, he did.

Did he like the way you smiled at him right before you kissed him or the way you looked at him when he told you one of his twisted stories?

Like you didn’t judge him.

Like you understood him.

Like you didn't see him as a monster, but as a man.

Oh, shit.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 Last night...

“Tell me the stupidest thing you've ever done to get someone’s attention” Suga had asked you the night before while you were both still lying naked on your bed.

You let out an amused laugh “You have probably already seen it on my body. It 's embarrassing.”

Suga laughed with you, the sound was warm and his eyes were locked on yours “Nothing on your body is embarrassing to me.” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“Be serious”

“I am” he pushed a rouge strand of hair behind your ears and you decided to continue talking before you got distracted with other things”

“When I was 16 I got a Star Wars tattoo because the boy I liked liked Star Wars. I wanted to surprise him the first time he saw me naked he would see the jedi symbol” now you both started laughing “Don't judge me, haven't you done something stupid to get someone's attention?”

“Maybe.” Was the only thing he answered.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙

Here 's the thing.

Suga had gone to a tattoo parlor this morning.

That was his unfinished business.

He was getting a fucking Star Wars tattoo on his ribs.

Right where you had it.

He hasn't even watched the movies.

Not even the new ones.

Oh, he was down bad. And now he had to go see his dead mother.

Scratch that.

He had to go see his un-dead mother.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙

Somewhere else in the house.

“The fuck do you mean you didn’t do this. This is not what we agreed on.” Namjoon's deep voice could barely be heard inside The Leader’s office. The tall man was standing in front of the window as he spoke into the phone “Then fucking find her Yong or I’ll make sure you are going to wish I kill you.”

Yong.

The rumored dragon head of the triad.

The Second in command of the Seven Moons, had given the order to kidnap you.

On his scheme to secure his place as the heir.

He needed that for his plan to work.

When you told him this morning that you were going to visit Grace and that you didn't need so many people following you around, the young gangster thought it was the perfect opportunity to put the next part of his plan into action.

But something went horribly wrong.

And now he was the one who was betrayed.

“What have you done Namjoon-ah?” The voice of the eldest brother brought him out of his thoughts and he looked at him completely surprised “Out of all the people I thought would betray our father, I would never think of you.”

“Hyung... “

“Just tell me that, whatever you're doing, you won't hurt Miss Nari, Joon. If there is someone innocent in all this, it's her.” Jin finished entering the office looking at his brother with disbelief.

Seokjin looked at him with the eyes of an older brother. Hopefully waiting for all this to be a mistake.

Because if Namjoon betrayed his father.

He was a dead man walking.

But the elder also knew very well the resentment that Namjoon had grown up with. If someone has been hurt by Kim DoHan, it was his own son. Although he wanted to be wrong, Seokjin knew well what was in his younger brother's heart.

Revenge.

And that was not far from his own feelings.

“I came to think that all this love triangle, teenage fiction with Suga really meant that you liked the girl.” He poured himself a shot of the expensive whiskey that his father had in the office and let out a sigh before drinking it all at once “You will have to explain everything very well to understand you, Joon-ah”

Jin was the closest person to Namjoon in the clan, he saw him as an older brother. As a child he was the example of what he wanted to become one day, he hated to see that look of disappointment in his eyes “Hyung, you know perfectly well what my reasons are, I'm not going to stand by and wait for Kim DoHan to take away what is rightfully mine and hand it over on a silver platter to that asshole. She's just a means to an end.”

Before the younger one continued, Jin interrupted him, "If you want me to help you, you have to explain everything without lying to me this time.”

Kim Seokjin was the eldest of the seven moons.

And like all of them, he had lost much more than he had earned in all this time.

He would give all his money, cars, luxuries, fine clothes and contacts to have his family back with him.

But that was impossible.

And for the impossible, there is only revenge.

Break a promise, lose a finger.

If that really applied in the Seven Moon’s clan as it should, they would have had all their hands and feet cut off.

Anger was an uncontrollable fire that burned everything in its path, it was useful, yes.

But for both clan leaders, retribution was much better and more satisfying.

A calm sea that was about to turn into a Tsunami.

A cold wave that will destroy everything on it's path.

Many games were played within the walls of the mansion of the 7 moons.

And your time was running out.

🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 Hello!!! I'm sorry it took too long! I got sick and I was so tired I couldn't even read... much less write. BUT I'm catching up with all of you that are sending me messages, thank you you guys are so sweet!! 🥹 I mean, everytime someone says they're enjoying Hate! Makes me giggle like a teenager. Let me be honest, I'm enjoying writing this just as much. This chapter turned out to be one of my favs 👀 I wasn't like this on my original story and I am really liking how it is turning out.

Anyway, Hope you liked this one too!! Ps. I have Hate!11 Almost ready... what do you say double update tomorrow??

From the bottom of my chicken heart,

Thank you.

Love,

Ria 🌙

Tag List @drunkzseok @allamericanuniverse @catlove83 @baby-cherry @officialholyagua

If you want to join the tag list. You can coment this post or send me an ask!

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts suga #bts imagines #bts #bts mafia au #yoongi #yoongi smut #bts au #bts yoongi

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doodlecircuitredrawn · 1 year ago

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Happy New Year, everyone!

Damn, I’m gonna have to dust this blog off-

It’s Circa! (Temperarily) back from my lurking hibernation! I have some writing for y’all for my newest brainrot, In Stars and Time (ISaT)! Please be warned that this game generally talks about really heavy issues. So please read further with caution. The bad formatting is because I had a spike of inspiration and creative energy at like,,, what? 1, 2, 3 in the morning? AND I wrote this into a google doc, lmfao.

Warnings: Angst, slight description of gore, ISaT Spoilers!

I’m not sure what particular act these are spoiling, so I’ll be cautious and put in as many of the spoiler tags as possible because I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s gaming experience on accident!

These are ISaT au ideas!

Looper Odile au (Her birth country, Ka Bue is now the Forgotten Country)

“Hey, Odile, your accent sounds a little-“ “Unfamiliar?” (Mirabelle startles. You notice and quickly fix your face.) “…Yeah, I know.” “Y-your Vaugardian is perfect, though! I could confuse you for a native!” (…Hah. You laugh. Cackle, even. A little too much. You’re crying.)

(…Okay calm down, you’re scaring Mirabelle.) (You quickly wipe your tears and clean your glasses with a rag.)

“…Ah. Sorry, I needed that.” (Mirabelle has a slightly nervous smile.) “…I can tell.” (Oh gems. You’ve made the situation awkward. Time to end it here.) “…Alright, go away, I’m reading.” (You reopen your bookmarked book.) (Mirabelle gets the message and quickly walks away.)

(…You need to get out of here before you start losing your mind… Any more than you already have.)

“Odile, have YOU ever run away from home?” (What? This is new… They haven’t asked this before…) (You blink confusedly.)

“…Why are you asking the old lady?” “Ooh, Now I wanna know! Tell us, ‘Dile!” (…And now Boniface has their attention on you. Okay. Erm…) “…I was absolutely furious at my parents about… Something. I ran all of the way to the coast over a few days and took a boat, and then…”

(You refocus on everyone’s faces to help gather your thoughts…) (They’re starry eyed, holding on to your every word.) “…And then…?”

“That’s all I remember.” “WHAT!?” (You stare wide-eyed at Boniface) “Siffrin’s forgetfulness is rubbing off on you!” “Hey!” (Siffrin pouts dramatically.) (You tune out the rest of their conversation. You’ve heard enough.)

Looper Isabeau au

(Not again. Not again. You’ve been put at a standstill AGAIN. You forgot to tell Siffrin to look harder for that key. No. NO. ENOUGH.) (You make a beeline towards the rock. Everyone is staring at you, confused.)

(You frustratedly and impulsively hit the rock as hard as you can.) (Why is it not broken yet? …Fine.)

(You hit it again, and again, fists getting bloodied and dark as the rock slowly caves under the pressure.)

(…It breaks.)

(…No, that’s not the right word… It shatters.) (Yes. Yes! YES!) (You turn excitedly to your friends.)

(…Oh. They’re scared. You realize that you’re smiling a little maniacally. You quickly fix your face.)

“…Got it!”

(…They’re stepping back from you. Why?) (You’ve helped! You were helpful! Helpful Funny-buff Isabeau! And they’re looking at you like… No.) (Madam Odile has put herself in front of a wide-eyed Bonbon in a protective stance. Mira looks like a deer in headlights with her hands covering her mouth. And Sif… Siffrin has their hand on their dagger.)

(Why? You’re being helpful! Whydidtheynotwantyourhelpwhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-) (Wait.) (You barely noticed how mangled your fists are, no wonder they’re so scared of you.) (…You’re a monster Isabeau, a big, disgusting monstererererererer-)

(You feel a tug on your stomach.)

Looper Bonnie au

“I know you’re on tonic and juice duty, but you can’t just snatch keys and rush into places we haven’t been to, yet!” “…How did you even know the key would work there, anyway?” (AH! A-port [abort] mission! A-port [abort] mission! Quick, say something!)

(Frin’s inviting you to fighting lessons again. But you’re literally stronger than him at this point. …Okay! Okay! Weak hits! Weak hits!)

(…Or… better, yet… You could use this chance to make Frin stronger instead!) (As you try to tune back into what he’s saying, you both notice a sadness. You both get into fighting positions.)

(Frin is trying to weaken it a bit for you.)

“…Okay, first you need to-“ (You tune him out.) (Frin, Frin, Frin, if only you knew how strong I was, now…) (It’s time for you to help him!)

(You rush in and let the Sadness hit you, and purr-pose-fully [purposefully] fling yourself to the ground and lay still for good measure… Just a scratch!)

“BONNIE!” (Frin doesn’t seem to think so, as he finishes off the Sadness in record time.) (They rush over to you.) “BONNIE!” (They pick you up and start running… To Mirabelle maybe?) (Well at least something different is… What’s that noise?)

“*sniff, sniff, hic!*” (…Oh. Frin’s crying. AND he’s taking you to Belle. You have a bad feeling about this…) (Despite your miss-givings [misgivings], you lay still with your eyes closed to not blow your cover.)

“Siffrin! Sif-“ (With a gasp, Belle becomes a blur as she looks at your woo-nds [wounds].) (After she uses her healing craft, you feel a lot better.)

“Bonnie! Are you okay!?” “Never better! I feel great! I’m gonna take a nap now! Don’t worry! I’m just sleepy!” (You remember Belle mentioning that fuh-teeg [fatigue] is a common side effect of having healing Craft used on you. That should curb at least some of their sus-pish-un [suspicion])

“Wai- Bonnie! BONNIE!” (Frin’s still crying.) (You run off before they can stop you.) (Okay. Not the best outcome… Let’s just go to the clock tower and regroup for now.)

2.5 (Part 2 of the thing earlier)

**Siffrin and Mirabelle focused**

(…Bonnie ran off before you could react.) (…And Siffrin’s inconsolable right now. The townsfolk are politely looking away. You take him to a secluded field.)

(…You don’t know what to say. You should start with…)

“…Siffrin. What happened?” (They turn to look at you blearily.) “…” (…They’re not responding. You should probably say someth- Oh, he’s opening his mouth.)

“…Bonnie rushed in while I was teaching them to fight. And they didn’t seem like they were paying attention to what I was saying in the first place… *sniff* …They got hit and fell so I had to deal with the sadness really quickly before I could pick them up. I…”

(He breaks down into tears again… You can’t really do much else except be there for him, seeing as they don’t like touch.) (…You’ll talk to the others — and more importantly, Bonnie themselves, later. Siffrin needs you right now.)

…Aaaaand that’s about it for now! I’m very much considering posting these to my ao3. Wait, what? I didn’t say anything about it? Ah, shit, erm. It’s the same user as my main blog here on tumblr, @/CircadianAnomaly. I haven’t posted anything, yet, so y’all aren’t missing much, lmfao. Do let me know, though — I crave feedback!

Bye for now!

- Circa [:

#in stars and time #isat game #ISaT au #writing #textpost #fanfic #?#isat act 3 spoilers #isat spoilers #original post

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sentienttoastah · 9 months ago

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Canto 6 possible literary reference other than Wuthering heights?

Canto 6 already ended a while ago but I’ve recently got a thought on it which I’ve already shared with some mutuals but I thought ehh, why not make a blog post on it.

This doesn’t really relate to the plot all that much and more about the literary references used in canto 6 that isn’t confirmed yet still gave me those vibes yk. But either way they still kind of count as spoilers so It’ll be under the cut for those who haven’t got there.

LONG RANT!! I REPEAT, LONG RANT WARNING!!

It’s noted that there’s many similarities with erlking Heathcliff and those abnos based on the little red riding hood fable, as well as the clear reference to the erlkonig of course and the possibility of the hunt being a reference to the fox hunting sport popular in many parts of europe (unrelated but calling it a “sport” specifically when they do it not for food or pest reasons and only for the thrill of killing a fox is very unjust) but I’ve also noticed another potential reference.

So this is going to be a far fetched stretch and I don’t know if anyone else mentioned or thought of it before but certain bits of canto 6 really, REALLY, reminded my favourite childhood novel of mine: Watership Down.

I might just be delusional but like there really were a lot of similarities that I noticed between specific plot lines. And also considering Watership Down was one of the best selling novels of all time during its golden years it’s not that surprising if Project Moon included them right??

For those who don’t know; Watership Down is essentially a book about rabbits who, after one of them receives some kind of prophetic dream of destruction, leave their home warren to go in search of a new one. It sounds like a generic enough plot but it also tackles into topics of death and grief, the cruelty of nature, fjking politics, how much humans take their joys for granted and most importantly for me it’s also about acceptance. It’s a great book (and also old animated movie if you don’t want to take the time in reading, there’s a full one available on youtube) but that’s not the topic of discussion in this rant.

Now I’m not sure how to word this as it’s late into 3 AM as I write this so here’s a list of points and comparisons on why I think the reference might be there, more specifically on the erlking and the dead rabbits gang.

The Erlking and General Woundwort: General Woundwort is the Chief Rabbit of an opposing warren called Efrafa who is driven to attempt a siege on the down due to hatred and vengeance. The Erlking is of course very similar in being the “leader” of the Dead Rabbits and also having the same motivations by leading the hunt. Also noted that there is an implication I think that Woundwort wasn’t the original chief and got his position from some shady way.

The Dead Rabbits Gang and Efrafa Warren: Many members of The Efrafa, especially the lower class rabbits were actually kidnapped, trapped, forced or tricked into joining the warren. Similar to those mad rabbits who turned out to be T corp citizens who were experimented on. Plus they’re rabbits, obviously.

The Hunt and The Siege: This one is self explanatory but yeah. Both ends led their armies to attack a single, smaller-in-number group who pissed them off slightly lol. And both ended terribly.

Dante; Hazel and Heathcliff; Bigwig: Basically a comparison of characters. Dante being similar to Hazel and Heathcliff being similar to Bigwig. With Dante/Hazel starting off as inexperienced amateur leader who over time started to become more familiar with the traits of their group and soon adapted and developed their charisma. And Heathcliff/Bigwig being the more experienced and stubborn one who is doubtful at the beginning for their leader’s competence, but warms up and trusts them in the end. Plus that interaction with Heathcliff and Dante at the stairs part before they slowed down time can be compared to Hazel and Bigwig’s convo before Hazel made the run.

Woundwort’s Quote: One of General Wounwort’s quotes is “I fear no elil, I am the elil!”. With “elil” meaning “predator” or any carnivorous animal in rabbit language. Woundwort flipping the prey and predator roles can be compared to The Erlking, leader of the rabbits, hunting down our Heathcliff who is symbolised as a hound with his distortion.

There might be more, but for now those were the only comparisons I remember. I like to think of it kind of in the same way that Demian is not only a reference to himself as his book counterpart but at the same time is also a reference to La Petit Prince/The Little Prince. A dual reference!

though I might just be stretching it. What do you guys think? I’d love to hear thoughts :,)

#limbus company #lcb #canto 6 spoilers #heathcliff lcb #watership down #rant post #🐟

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beaker1636 · 1 year ago

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Single Lyrics pt. 3

AN: We are slowly starting to get somewhere, but it is still going to be awhile before we see either of them admit anything. I know it isn't smutty Saturday but that will start next week. I am just really caught up in this story and can't wait to keep it going! Enjoy!

Like always thank you to @tearfallpixie for helping me choose a direction for this part!

“So this one here is your bunk, and I’ll show you around the rest of the bus in just a second,” Ryan says with a smile. He hopes you can tell that he really is trying to make you comfortable, traveling with people you aren’t close to on an enclosed bus is difficult, he would know.

“Thank you, so back there is where her little bed is and up front is the lounge. Is there really anything else to show me?” You ask, he feels much better when he notices your teasing smile on his face, knowing that you are relaxed enough to even lightly joke around with him.

“Yes, and again, when we are on the bus and honestly any time we aren’t working I can take care of Vi. It is mostly just for shows, interviews, stuff like that where I need your help. I appreciate all of this that you are doing, I know traveling for months at a time isn’t easy. Thank you, seriously.” He says, moving to give you an awkward hug before backing away quickly.

“I remembered you are a light sleeper which is why I claimed a bunk towards the back for you right away. Chris is the one right below you, for whatever reason he likes being at the bottom and Rick is above yours. Across from you is Vin, Justin and I. If you need anything any of us I am sure will gladly help you, we all tend to spend a lot of time in the lounge gaming and stuff. You are always welcome to join in, I know the guys would enjoy getting to know you,” he says softly, laughing when Violet comes waddling in, pulling Chris along with her.

“She kept saying baby, and then tried dragging me away. I’m guessing that was her way of saying she wanted to go get one of her dolls,” Chris jokes as the toddler continues to try and pull him back towards her little room.

You can’t help but smile at the scene, who knew Chris would let a little one push him around.

Turning towards your bunk you put your duffle bag down in it, moving to put your blanket and pillow down on it, your stuffed duck falling out of your blanket as you lay the blanket out making you blush.

“You still sleep with that thing, it was old when you slept with it in highschool,” Ryan teases you, nudging your shoulder before he bends down to pick it up for you.

“It means a lot to me, one of the last things I got from my dad before he died. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to repair it through the years. You can barely tell how old it is with how good I’ve gotten at cleaning him,” you say, ignoring the feeling that crosses your skin when your hand brushes against yours when he hands it back to you. “I think I am going to read for a little bit if that is okay, I just don’t know if I am up to joining everyone yet.”

“I see you still haven’t changed, always hiding in the corner. That is alright, I will let you do that. Just to let you know if your curtain is open that usually means you don’t mind anyone taking to you and stuff, but if you close it we know not to bother you unless it is important.” He says, watching you get into your bunk.

“Thank you for the tour and stuff Ry,” you say softly before pulling your book out of your bag and laying down to read, ready for a little bit of quiet and relaxation before things got too crazy. You are glad the first day is a travel day before a show at night so that you aren’t immediately rushing into things.

Ryan walks away, and a couple moments later you see Chris and Violet go walking by, her having the doll you have learned is her favorite in her arms. You can’t help but smile again, the little girl already has a hold on your heart and she doesn’t even know it.

You start reading in your book but don’t make it very far before someone is knocking on the plastic of your bunk.

“Hey, no hiding. Come out here and join us, nobody knows anything about you and we want to,” you hear, when you glance up you realize it is Vinny who is looking at you.

“I,” you start, but he cuts you off, grabbing onto your wrist to try and drag you out of your bunk.

“No fighting me, come on,” he says, tugging lightly on you.

“No, I am fine right here. I am here to work and right now I am not needed,” you argue, turning to glare at him, which just makes him smile.

“There is no use fighting Vin, when he wants something he will figure out how to get it. Trust me on this, he is more stubborn than I am,” you hear Rick call with a laugh.

You roll your eyes before picking your book back up, only for it to be pulled from our hands. You glare at the man standing in the hallway watching you, wanting nothing more but for him to leave you alone.

“Please, just for a little bit? I just want to get to know you some because we are all touring together, at least so it’s a little less weird between everyone,” he asks you, giving you a pouty face.

“Fine, Jesus you whiner,” you answer, rolling your eyes before slowly making your way out of your bunk and following him up front. Dragging your feet, making it clear to him that you really aren’t wanting to do this.

When you make your way through the door everyone cheers, making you turn bright red in embarrassment.

“You actually got her out, I can’t believe it. Y/n has always hidden from everyone,” Chris says with a smile, giving you a wink.

“Yeah because y'all were a bunch of teenage assholes back then,” you respond as you take a seat on the floor, there was a spot on the couch but that would put you between Ryan and Chris and you really don’t want that.

“Well, you aren’t wrong. We were pretty bad back in the day,” Ricky says with a laugh. “I still will give you props for out drinking me by a landslide that one night, didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Yeah, that was pretty fun, I will admit. Don’t expect a rematch from me, I don’t drink anymore,” you joke, smiling when you feel like you are starting to somewhat fit in, remembering a fun memory from back when you were a dumb kid.

“Yeah, I don’t either. Man those days were fun though, back when I first joined the band. I didn’t ask the other day but how have you been? Clearly you didn’t stick with music in college but you seem to have made a good footing in your career and stuff,” Ricky says, smiling at the memory himself.

“I didn’t, my first semester of college studying music ed was a bitch and I dropped, but I’m not sure if it was because I struggled in classes or because of how bad my depression and shit was at the time. Between all my family shit and then yeah, it was rough.” You glance up, your eyes locking with Ryans hazel ones before he casts them to the floor.

“But I love where I am at, love working with little children, love that I built my own family with my friends. I’d ask how all of you are doing but the band clearly did well,” you joke, hoping to end questions about the past.

You continue to make small talk with the guys before you arrive at the first venue, finding that you really do enjoy them and their company. Vinny made you laugh and feel right at home, his personality warm and bright.

The boys have to leave to go get ready for the show and the meet and greet, Violet waving at them as they go and giving Ryan a wet kiss before he is out the door, leaving the two of you alone.

It honestly was on the later side so you started getting her some dinner warmed up in the bus microwave, cutting up some fresh fruit for her too that Ryan made sure to have for both of you before you let her sit at the table to eat, watching her with a smile on your face.

After the two of you played for awhile, building a house with some blocks before you decided that it was time to try and get her to lay down and go to sleep, but she wasn’t having it at all. She wanted to keep playing, and cried when you tried putting her down until you gave up and took her with you to your bunk, letting her curl up with your duck as you laid down. Her head was laying on your chest as she slowly drifted off to sleep curled up with you. For a while you read on your phone before giving up, closing your eyes and falling asleep with her.

Ryan panicked at first when he got on the bus after the show, he peeked in on her room assuming you both would be back there in the back lounge only to find that you weren’t… and you weren’t in the front lounge either, he was worried that you would leave so late with her, what was he thinking, how could he trust anyone other than himself with the little girl.

Justin could sense his panic and put a hand on his shoulder, “Have you checked in y/n's bunk, maybe they laid down in there,” he suggests.

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,” Ryan says before lightly opening the curtain of your bunk, finding you asleep with Violet resting on your chest, clutching the duck stuffie you hold so dearly. He almost can’t believe you let her touch it, curl up with it. He knows how much it means to you, you never used to let him touch it back when you two were together.

He also can’t help himself and takes a photo of the two of you sleeping on his phone, finding the moment adorable and bringing a warmness through his chest at the sight. He isn’t sure what the feeling is but he is enjoying it, seeing you with this child that he loves so much. He gave up on ever having that sight happen years before and yet here it was, right in front of him.

With a sigh he bends down, slowly trying to take Violet out of your arms hoping that he wouldn’t wake you up but unfortunately he does, your eyes meeting his as he is taking her from you. Your eyes meet and both of you linger in the gaze, not saying anything for a moment before you move, allowing him to take her with him.

He carries her to his bed, laying her down gently before closing the door and making his way out of the room so that he can stop and talk to you for a moment, hoping that you are still awake, and glad when you are.

“Hey, some of us were going to order pizza before we hit the road again if you want any,” he says softly, his eyes meeting yours while you still lay in your bunk. “And thank you, I know it must have been hard for you to let her hold your duck.”

“She was gentle with it, it is fine. She is such a sweet girl, I couldn’t get her to fall asleep in her room so we laid down in my bunk. And sure, thank you for asking. I would still like to read because Vin didn’t let me earlier, let me know when it is time to eat?” you ask, avoiding his eyes as you feel them search your face.

You are glad the two of you are getting along, but you are scared because you don’t want to be close to him again. You can’t risk feeling the way he made you feel again, you know that may sound dumb, but you don’t want to fall for him again and you can tell that will be hard to avoid. Especially now when you see how great he is with his little girl, how sweet he is compared to the boy you used to know.

You are royally fucked and you know it, maybe this job was a bad idea.

#motionless in white #fanfiction #bree sucks at fanfiction #motionless in white imagine #ryan sitkowski #miw #miw band #ryan sitkowski x reader #ryan sitkowski fluff #ryan sitkowski fanfiction #ryan sitkowski fanfic

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beerecordings · 1 year ago

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The Other Monster - Chapter 1/4 so far

From my Graceling AU - Based loosely on Kristin Cashore’s Graceling books, this is a magic-medieval setting where Jameson is a child who’s been raised by Anti - a Monstrously beautiful assassin and abuse survivor who's come to see the world as evil. As Jameson starts to question his brother's perspective, he discovers another Monster in need of his help: Marvin the Magnificent, who's been abducted from his home and sold to the highest bidder.

Previous fics in this world: One l Two l Three

Next Chapter

For more context, I'll add that Anti and JJ are Gracelings (beings who have a supernatural ability of some kind). Anti is capable of Persuasion, and JJ is still discovering his power. In the books, all Monsters have a kind of Persuasion, but I didn't give that power to all Monsters, only Anti.

And let me be real upfront before we get started: this fic is never explicit in any scene, and absolutely never fetishistic, but it involves Anti continuing to process severe child sexual abuse, including incest, and Marvin being trafficked, held prisoner, and sexually abused. There is no pressure to read. I will tag carefully, but be aware these themes continue throughout. That being said... it's a story about healing and loving people anyway. Because a lot of us are all processing some stuff of our own too.

Okay. Let's go. And let me know if you want to see more <3

He dreams of Chase.

“Keep up, slowpoke!”

Running through the grass with their hands clasped together, turning to heave the child into his arms when the mud reaches his little brother’s thighs, making him shriek with laughter as he swings and rocks him through the muddy valley in mid-spring, blowing blubber kisses into his fat toddler tummy.

He dreams of Jackie.

“Keep quiet, keep quiet! You have to stop laughing.”

Sneaking through the hallways of the castle one at a time, beckoning for each other when the coast is clear before darting into the kitchen to steal lemon poppyseed muffins and jam bakes and a jug of apple cider each, causing trouble and then retreating as fast as their teenage feet could carry them to their rooms in the high tower or the swaying tree house they built for themselves in the arms of the old oak tree beyond the courtyard.

He dreams of his cousin.

“You study too much, come on, come play with us.”

Slamming cards and chess pieces down against the table as they played games at rapid-fire speeds, their eyes sparkling with a shared enthusiasm for the fond competition between them, exchanging insults in a half-dozen different languages, gossiping about everyone they know and laughing for the fun of it, curled up in front of the fire with mulberry wine and Henrik’s company to keep him warm through the winter time.

He dreams of his family.

“Where are you?” he whispers to the shadows. “Why haven’t you found me yet? You said you’d keep me safe, please… I know I act like I can take care of myself, but I’m scared. I’ve never been this scared in my life. I don’t want to be sold.”

A slam against iron like the striking of swords jolts him from his sleep with a scream. He grabs his own shoulders and shoves himself back against the walls of the cage, staring in terror up at his captor, who looks back with bleak blue pelican’s eyes, thoroughly unimpressed.

“Age?” he asks, holding up a pad of parchment.

Marvin breathes hard, staring around his cell, blinking.

“Still surprised to find yourself in here? You been in here three fucking days, start adjusting. Age?”

“What?”

“How old are you?” asks the man, enunciating his words slow and mocking. “How many years do your parents say you are when your grandpappy asks?”

Marvin squeezes his eyes shut, flushed with humiliation. “I – I’m twenty-six.”

He writes it down, unperturbed. Marvin wraps his arms tighter around himself, shivering in the cold. “Can I have something to eat?” he croaks out. “I’m starving.”

“Better if you’re thin,” answers the man blandly. “Maybe in a couple days. What’s your name?”

Marvin clutches his knees to his chest, staring at the filthy floor in front of him, his eyes flickering back and forth. “Fabian,” he whispers after a moment, hearing the frailness of his own voice. His whole body is giving out on him. His mind too, he expects. He closes his eyes. “I’m Fabian.”

“Good,” says the man, scrawling on his notepad. “You’ve already learned to lie about it. No one cares about your old name. No one cares about your old life. Forget it. You’ll never go back to it.”

“My family would pay a lot of money to have me back,” cries Marvin. “And my brother is a Graceling warrior! You ought to let me go before he finds me, or I swear to God that you’ll regret being born!”

“Glad to see you’ve resorted to threats instead of biting and screaming like that first day,” grumbles the man, shaking out the wound on his hand that Marvin gave him.

“You deserve it!” Marvin screams. “You and everybody’s who’s trying to steal me away! I’ll kill you like I killed the first one who grabbed me! If he didn’t have his fucking friends there – ”

“Any health concerns?” asks the man, staring down at his clipboard.

Marvin breathes hard, tears dripping down his face, holding himself in the middle of his cold cell.

“Well?”

“I… I’m allergic to walnut,” Marvin whispers, shrinking in on himself and closing his eyes.

“Great,” says the slave trader. “I’ll mark that down.”

He turns and walks away.

Marvin stares at the floor. The tears dripping onto it humiliate him. Everything is a humiliation. Everything is a threat. Everything wants to use him. To hurt him. To take him away.

He remembers being rebellious as a child when his parents would shave down his hair and make him wear coverings in public or hide him away during state dinners, never letting anyone but Jackie and Chase and Henrik see him, sometimes even telling guests they had only two sons to keep him a secret. He complained about being a prisoner - isolated, guarded, not allowed to grow up like a normal kid. At the time, the pain of his being hidden away from the whole rest of the world felt like something that would destroy him. It makes him want to laugh now, but all that comes out is a quiet sob. He should have been more careful. He should never have gone into town with Chase. He’s thirteen now and old enough to get anything Marvin needs from the city without him. What Marvin wouldn’t give to be back in their little summer cabin right now, making pancakes or swimming in the lake with him. With no one staring at him or touching him. With food in his belly and a friend at his side.

But the one upside to this hunger and the cold and the grief are that they keep sending him back to sleep. Back to dreams. He drifts off once more soon enough, chewing on a strand of his hair like he’s a five-year-old again, rocking himself against the stone walls on his every side.

He dreams of his parents, and his childhood.

“I don’t want to go to bed yet, Momma.”

“You don’t have to just yet, baby.”

He would like to be a child again, rocking on her lap, curled up between his parents by the fire. Jackie would be on the floor, looking up at him with his big child’s eyes, just a couple years older and protective from the start. Watching over him. With everyone close. With everyone holding him. He would like to be safe again.

“I don’t want to go just yet,” he whispers, pressed into his mother’s arms. Jackie would struggle up onto the enormous bed and squirm his way into his mother’s arms beside him, landing soggy child kisses on his face and reaching out to be held by their father, patting his chubby hands against his shoulders when he’s picked up and snuggling down against them both, the four of them sandwiched together in the warmth.

“You can stay,” his father would say, stroking his hair, blue as the galaxy, shining like its closest stars. “You can stay, my little son. No one will take you away.”

They had made him this promise time and time again. Even before he was old enough to realize it, his parents understood the curse that he was born with. No one, they said, will take you away. Even if we go. No one will take you. Jackie will protect you. Won’t you, Jackie?

And Jackie, from the time he was three years old, had nodded and promised with more intensity in his Graceling eyes than any child should ever have to muster.

“Yes, Marvy. I will protect you.”

He’s spent his whole life protecting Marvin. He’s given him everything he had. It wasn’t his fault. Marvin knows that. Their parents should never have made him promise. Their parents should never have promised him they could keep him safe. No one can. No one ever could. He should have known.

“I’m just a Monster,” he whispers, when consciousness comes to hurt him again. The walls of the prison cell stare back at him, wide-eyed and silent. “The whole rest of the world knows that this is where I belong.”

Forget that old life. You will never get back to it.

Marvin realizes that this might well be true. Up until this moment, he never knew it was possible to be this afraid.

“Please, Jackie… please hurry. Please find me soon, my brother.”

It's always so strange, watching the spiral his brother goes through before his birthday.

He doesn't think Anti knows that he notices, but it's been happening for years now. Anti starts out overenthusiastic at the start of the month, but as the days go on, he grows quiet, deflates. He's never liked the idea of Jameson growing up. He doesn't think he was supposed to notice that either.

He knocks on the door of Anti's study, waiting for a rumble of an answer before he comes inside. Or tries to. The door is locked. He hears his brother get up and come to the door, unlocking it and letting him in.

"You're locking your study now?" Jameson asks.

Anti scowls. "You never know who might come in."

Sure.

The fortress where they live is all cold stone and locked doors, always has been. Jameson knows it's not normal for the serving girl to have only one hour a day when she is allowed to clean one room at a time, and even stranger for her to be blindfolded when she serves them dinner.

But he also knows why they do it.

"Come sit," says Anti, patting the chair across from his desk before he goes to sit back down. Jameson notices a new patch of dried blood on one side of the cushion. Who did his brother kill here, and for what? A business deal gone wrong, an insult he couldn't abide by? Or did someone catch a glimpse of him, and figure out his secret?

Anti tucks away some papers on his desk, and Jameson studies the lines of his brother's face. He knows how rare a privilege it is to be allowed to do so. Rarer still for Anti to look back at someone without suspicion. With warmth. Sometimes, Anti even lets Jameson touch his face. Scratch his small nails along the rough texture of his beard.

His brother was born a Monster, not that Jameson will ever understand the word. Even after all these years, he's so fond of his brother's appearance. The skin is clear and smooth, no matter how little he cares for it, and even the scars seem artful, charming, intriguing. His mismatched Graceling eyes burn with color, green and blue, each competing to be brighter than the other, and the dark beard and waves of emerald hair are so familiar to Jameson. He remembers the first time he met him, when Anti came to his room to save him. He remembers asking his brother if he was an angel.

Not an angel. More like a demon. Always a Monster. But never to him.

"You wanted to talk to me?" Jameson signs, and Anti's quick to turn his head from his work. He swore to him years ago he would never ignore his signing, and he's not sure the promise ever leaves the front of Anti's mind.

Since he's about the only one who understands him, Jameson's grateful.

"You done with lessons for the day?" Anti asks.

"Yes."

"And you took care of Bertrand?"

"Of course I did."

"Good." Anti finishes shutting his drawers and gives Jameson his full attention, looking at him keenly from across the desk. "I need your help with a mission."

Jameson's stomach turns over. "I don't want to watch any more dying, Anti."

He sees his brother bite back on a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed for a second, and Jameson squirms in his seat. They've talked about this so many times, he knows what Anti's going to say before he says it.

"You have to learn how to kill someday, Jameson. I'm trying to get you accustomed to death. But if you're not ready yet, we can wait. It's okay for you to be a kid a while longer."

Right, thinks Jameson flatly. That wonderful conundrum of Anti wanting him to be fully grown and tiny forever at the same time.

"That's not it, though. I just need you to wait outside while I storm a building. A girl will come out and you can take her somewhere safe. Then I'll come get you and we'll go home."

"That's it?" asks Jameson suspiciously. "I just have to wait outside a building? Won't the girl wonder why I can't talk?"

"I'll tell her you can't. Just lead her away. To that big church nearby that you like. It will be easy."

"But can't some of your... minions help? Or Anja or someone?"

Anti starts laughing. "Minions, is that the sign for that? No, James, I can't trust lackeys with this, and partners even less so. Anyway, Anja is in Loughlin. You'll have to come with."

"Somebody tried to cheat you, then, and you're punishing them."

His brother pauses for a moment, looking him over. "No," he says. "They don't know me. But the girl is innocent and the rest are not. So you'll wait outside for her. Tomorrow night, okay? So get done with everything you need to do before then."

Well, it doesn't sound so terrible. "Okay, fine. I'll do it."

"There's a good kid. Come on, darling. You ready for some dinner?"

"Yes, let's go!"

He loves when Anti takes the time to eat with him. His brother puts a hand on his shoulder as he leads him out of his study, locking it firmly behind him, just like the rest. "And maybe we should talk about your birthday coming up," adds Anti.

Jameson looks up at him, surprised. It's not a topic they bring up, usually: Jameson getting older. He doesn't understand why, but he knows his brother's never liked it, knows celebrating his birthday is always something Anti has to force. It's like a secret they keep, at times - one of many.

"What about it?" Jameson asks.

"Like what you want to do and get for presents," says Anti. "You're going to be ten, after all. That's a milestone."

"What? No, Anti, I'll be eleven."

Anti stops short and looks at him, mouth curved down.

"I'll be eleven," Jameson repeats. "I was ten last year. Do you remember?"

"Ah," says Anti, and for a long moment, he's quiet. "Of course you were. I do remember."

And then, softer still, "you'll be eleven."

"Maybe you could stay home with me all day," Jameson offers. "And we'll go for a ride with a picnic, and we can have the beef with gravy I like for dinner?"

But Anti's doing that thing now, that thing that he does around his birthday. A sad thing, Jamie thinks, or maybe a mad one. He can never quite tell. But he looks at Jameson, and then right through him, and it's like he stops seeing him completely. He wonders what his brother sees when he looks at him like that.

"Of course we can," says Anti, but Jameson doesn't think he understood him at all.

It's happening more and more, lately.

Jameson puts his arm around his brother's waist and hugs himself against his side. Anti can give him missions and lessons and duties if he wants, and that's okay. But his real job is always going to be this: taking care of Anti, like Anti takes care of him. After all, if he doesn't do it, he knows there is no one else in the world who will.

Next Chapter

#tw human trafficking #graceling au #i've posted the first section before but I'm starting over with the rest of the story! it needed fixing up #thanks for reading!!

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ilovedthestars · 6 months ago

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ask game: 4, 19, 35, or 51?

Thank you for so many options! I'm going to take the first two because i'm having trouble coming up with answers for the others.

(writer ask game)

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

if we're talking murderbot fic, the very first murderbot fanfic I sat down to write is still unfinished and yes it haunts me. i call it my targetControlSys wip and if you're on the discord you've heard a bit about it before but the basic concept of it was: in that part of NE when TCS almost takes over Murderbot's brain, What If It Did? it was the first iteration of me writing what i later started calling malware fics, aka "murderbot is almost forced to hurt people it cares about and afterwards it has emotions about this." parts of the draft are actually quite complete so i hope i'll be able to finish it someday but it's on the backburner for the forseeable future.

if we expand it outside of murderbot fic, when i was about 13 i started writing a YA fantasy novel and i worked on it for a solid five years without ever finishing a complete draft. i still love the characters and concept dearly, but at some point i realized that i liked it too much to let go of parts of it that needed to go, in order to fix the plot holes that 13 year old me put in there. so it's in the metaphorical trunk until a time when i can take it out again and take it apart to build something new. on the possibility that it will someday make it into published book form in some recognizable way, i will be vague about the plot, but it had a prophecy and a chosen one who really didn't want to be the chosen one and her found family who tried to make it bearable for her <3

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

oh, god, hard question. the vast majority of what i read as a kid/teen was YA fantasy, mostly the kind starring a girl with a sword. i read countless books like that, i don't know if any particular ones stand out but i'm sure they've affected how i write. specific books/series I was really into as a teen include Tui T. Sutherland's Wings of Fire, Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles, Kristin Cashore's Graceling trilogy (it has more books now but i have not caught up), and Leigh Bardugo's Six of Crows. not sure how any of those have specifically influenced me but maybe it will be obvious to others XD I'm sure reading Murderbot and some other similar adult SFF has also changed and developed my writing style in the last few years as well.

#does my taste in books as a teenager say something about my writing?#tell me if so lol i'd be very curious #ask game answers #stars wips #targetcontrosys wip #my novel wip that shall remain unnamed

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xxbrightshadowxx · 1 year ago

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I have finally finished Waverider and as I promised I’m , as the same as the other amulet book ratings, I am going to rate this one. And as always, this has spoilers so if you haven’t read it and want to read it, skip it. Also this just my opinion

Book 9:

And my rating is a 3/10. Same as the 8th book for many, many reasons.

This book isn’t as bad as Supernova, but it has as many problems as Supernova.

First off, Trellis, Riva, and Vigo’s storyline was a lie. They literally clear up the false king storyline so fast it gave me whiplash. Literally in the back of the book it says the main focus for the B storyline is going to the elf kingdom and that storyline just ends so fucking quickly. Also how the hell is Gablian alive?! He is not a stonekeepers and blew up at the bottom of the ocean! How did he survive?! Also, you’re telling me Trellis gave up being king that easily?!What?! One of the only things I liked about book 6 is the scene where Trellis tells his people that the false king, Max, was dead just like the elf king was and if they want to save their country and stay alive is to follow him, as the true and rightful king. Then fucking Waverider comes and I am just speechless.

And then they go to rebuild Ceileis(I can’t spell) and tell me if this is only me but, I don’t care for these new characters. Wes, Reieina, Lira, etc. I don’t. I miss the simplicity of Amulet and how none of the characters felt underutilized. Then Kazu Kibuishi decided to shove them in the closet and bring in characters I dont care for. Navin, Alyson, Leon, and Karen were there for only a small percent of the book and even that felt flat.

Also something that pisses me off is how Vigo died. The entire purpose of that little squad was they could break free and not lose control to the shadows. And yet, he loses control to the damn voice? Not to mention, that ceremony didn’t need to happen! They were just paying respects and he loses control so fucking easy! This was just an excuse to kill off Vigo and I hate it!!

Also fucking old Emily came back. I don’t know how but she was here and I’m so confused.

Do you wanna know what I’m confused about?! Everything with Ikol. Like I am so confused, is he dead or is he still there? What was that confrontation between him and Emily?! Like what was happening? It was just so much without any explain for what happened?!

Also when did Emily get so damn strong? Nothing to her seems like a struggle. She takes down those giant stone—thingys(forgot what they are called) So easily. This might just be me but characters who don’t use to have as much power before and suddenly becomes op as hell.

Overall, this book has so many problems. Maybe I’ll find more later or maybe I’ll burn the book in a dumpster. Verdict: this was not worth waiting years for it come out.

#kazu kibuishi #amulet #amulet books #emily hayes #prince trellis #emily #vigo light #waverider #book 9 #rant #book #i want my money back #I do not mean to offend anyone with this rating

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prongsfoot1028 · 5 months ago

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Escape from harsh reality

Good books for me are an escape from reality and into other ppl’s( who r now my ppl) drama. I laugh with them I cry with them even though sometimes they leave me staring at the wall because of some random plot twist I did not see coming. As far book recs go, many are often unappreciated heavily. You may or may not have heard these before but I personally will never stop recommending these istg.

•Harry Potter- JK Rowling- These books were my childhood

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarrows- absolutely slow burn 🔥 just read for 13+ * has smut scenes *

Percy Jackson- Pure childhood stuff bro absolute best friends to lovers anyone who hasn’t read this I will shove Medusa’s face into ur face (maybe via mail…)

Throne of Glass - Sarah J Mass-I’ve heard it’s amazing I haven’t actually read it completely yet

Legendborn- Tracy Denonn - Great book! Harry Potter fans will love it many references to other books best friends to lovers troupe

Shatter me- Tahreh Mari- these were recommended to me by a friend and I absolutely fell in love #Aaronforlove #kenjiisallweneed

Powerless-Lauren Roberts- amazing book overall must read if u want good ‘hunter’ ‘hunted’ type enemies to lovers

The Cruel Prince- Holly Black- first enemies to lovers I’ve ever read and it got me addicted to it ever since. 9+ good book

Twilight - Stephanie Meyer- honestly was so surprised when my parents bought this books for me but it’s true love that makes you yearn for your own Edward

A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder-Holly Jackson- a beautiful murder mystery. Mature 11 year olds can handle it. My first mystery series( that was not not Enid ablution) book that I ever read and I fell in love with Ravi

Divergent-Veronica Roth- The first 2 books of the three were pretty decent but then I hated the ending of the third book which kinda ruined the series for me but still a great book

Twin Crowns- Katherine Weber and Catherine Doyle- amazing book it’s about witchcraft probably mature 11 year old + few hot scenes but none too spicy

Heroes Of Olympus- I mean it’s a pretty decent continuation of pjo I personally found the first book boring ,cuz guess why -no Percy .( Spoiler alert ahead)( like if u agree )I bond with everyone who cried when Percabeth fell into Tartarus and sorta boycotted the series for 2 years weeks in their memory cuz poor 12 year old me thought they died. Spoiler alert they didn’t. ( end of spoiler alerts)So YAY. If y’all have any recommendations for me too read pls lemme know in the comment

hope at least 1 in 3 Ppl found this useful

#books recommendations #Summaries and reviews #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #fluff #murder mystery book #novellas

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yellowjckets · 7 months ago

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midyear book freakout tag !!

the real freakout is the fact i’m soooooo behind. final year breakup combo really meant i did not do anything for months

i was tagged by @colemckenzies thanks for PUBLICLY SHAMING ME! (jk)

number of books read so far in 2024:

i’ve written down 25 but i think it might be more cause i have a tendency to forget (i also read all but 2 of these in like two weeks at the start of the year. so it’s been a while!)

best book read so far in 2024:

i’ve read sooo many 5 star books this year cause i have impeccable taste. but im gonna say our wives under the sea (julia armfield), how to set a fire and why (jesse ball), mrs s (k patrick). but there’s also looooads that could fall into this. also it’s been months since i read any of them oops

best sequel:

i haven’t read any series! i don’t really gravitate towards series.

new release you haven’t read yet but want to:

PRIVATE RITES i’m coming for you on payday girlie …..

most anticipated release for the second half of the year:

it was private rites but that came out like earlier this month/last month oops. looking forward to anything dead ink publish though (not to doxx myself but like . i know these ppl i show them pictures of my cat)

biggest surprise:

i read two terrible books that i thought were going to have interesting concepts bc i got MISLED . and they were my worst books of the year .

favourite new (debut or to you) author:

ooooh k patrick or dizz tate probably if we’re talking debut <3

newest fictional crush:

i’m a 24 year old grown adult. that being said if i was in the mrs s situation i would have done the same thing.

book that made you cry:

i’ve not been crying lately :( i might have cried at our wives? not sure though.

most beautiful book you’ve bought/received this year:

my cat is sat on me so i don’t want to check my bookshelf so i’m trying to visualise it in my mind but i would say the folio books i found in a secondhand store!! i have a collection of folio ones in their cases and everything <3 also the british library collection on like weird stuff & magic is also gorge!

book that made you happy:

genuinely dont think i’ve read a happy book this year.

what books do you need to read by the end of the year?:

so many i am literally SO far behind. i have a giant bookshelf full of them and an even longer list …..

i’m tagging ummm @sitpwgs and i cannot think of anyone else bc im typing on my phone <3 but if u want to do it go for it

#emmyposts #exposing myself for being a fraud rn….

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thehomebodydiaries · 9 months ago

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homebody diaries .002.

the amount of reading that i’ve been doing lately makes me think of when i first discovered booktube: i learned about all these popular books and i was broke for like a consistent year because i wouldn’t stop buying books, but i only made like $9/hr. even now, with a full-time job that pays me almost twice that much, i still don’t know why that worked out for me. it definitely should not have.

anyway, yesterday was “free comic book day” and a local comic store gave me a bag of like sixteen free comics, and then i turned around and spent $80 on more comics. it also reminded me that i had two comics in my favorite series that i haven’t read yet. so i’ve got volumes 10 and 11 of “saga,” and yesterday i purchased the first volumes of “deadly class” and “something is killing the children,” as well as junji ito’s manga interpretation of mary shelley’s “frankenstein,” and then “old man logan,” which is about an elderly wolverine (whose healing capabilities are faltering) who gets picked up by an old hawkeye. it’s what inspired the movie logan, which is objectively speaking the only good x-men movie (do not come for me, i watched those movies for the first time in release date order like last month ago, and i am lowkey way more into the x-men than i am the rest of the marvel heroes, save for like agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.). i also received a package in the mail containing the fifth book in one of my favorite series: the witchlands series by susan dennard. oh my god, and i started the wayward children series by seanan mcguire and it’s so good. and i’m waiting on two more books in the mail, both for my bookclub.

i am so content with it too. i am doing it because i love reading and it brings me joy. plus, who doesn’t love some easy escapism? same reason i love video games.

speaking of which, i gotta start a farm with some friends. there have been so many updates and i haven’t played the pc version of it in so long. maybe i’ll convince a few of them to let me stream it. that, and palworld. i’m just not sure when i should start streaming; it feels like i have so much left to do, but it also feels like i’m not doing anything at all. so i might have to try streaming for 3-4 hours on my days off, with or without friends. my problem when it comes to streaming is that i’m my own boss, so not following through with a schedule doesn’t really have any consequences. but i really gotta get that started, otherwise i feel like i’ll never get around to it. it certainly would be nice to eventually make some extra money off of it. thought i wanted to be a val streamer, but i shockingly haven’t even really touched the game since i moved into my new place.

izzy and i watched four movies in a day on friday: mr. and mrs. smith, bullet train, baby driver, and everything everywhere all at once. all of them were so good, although everything everywhere all at once was… interesting. like the whole overall message of it is great and everything, like we love old traditional parents learning how to accept the things they can’t control about their child, but like… the buttplugs. wow. what a scene. (and that is all i’ll say on that; if you know, you know.)

i’m working on a linktr.ee with all my currently active and soon-to-be active accounts, which includes tumblr, discord, snapchat, and twitch. i was thinking about making a patreon, but i feel like i should gather an audience before i attempt managing another account. i already hate social media as it is which is why i only have what i have… we’ll see where it goes.

anyway, it was a solid weekend. i’m still tired, but i did drink quite a bit at a party last night and now i’ve got five days of work ahead of me, and my coworkers alone make that exhausting. but i’ve got lots of reading and writing to do to keep myself relaxed in between moments of masking (totally gonna be the name of my autobiography), especially once the new bookclub pick arrives. i’ll try not to be too miserable by tuesday.

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vacantgodling · 1 year ago

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thank you!!! :3c

13. how did you change as a writer? did you learn anything new? started to plan instead of pants? share your wisdom!

i think i’ve found a better system for actually getting myself to write prose. cuz the problem for me is i’ll have ideas for DECADES (looking at tcol :/) and plan and plan and plan but never actually start to tell the story and this year i think i finally cracked the code of what works best for me to actually start writing something. which, for me is the EGREGIOUSLY DETAILED outline method. some people say you shouldn’t make outlines that detailed and i’m like yeah jk i need to know every single thing that’s going to happen in every single chapter because (1) reading it as it is makes me excited to actually write the work i’m actually thrilled to get to certain parts bc i can see how they’re mapped out and how we get from point a to point b. (2) i get stuck WAAAAY less. like i still get stuck but it’s mostly because of burnout now and not just bc i deadass don’t know where the story is supposed to go from a certain point. i think making that breakthrough was huge for me—even though i haven’t finished anything fully YET, i’ve made soooo much headway in two major wips which i think is super cool!

i also really allowed myself to get into poetry this year. i don’t talk about or post my poems all too much but as we speak i technically have a poetry book that i want to figure out how to publish sometime in the next year. it’s got like 60 poems or more in it i forget how many lol. i used to hate poetry when i was younger bc it felt pretentious but i think it was also cuz i wanted to appeal to all the annoying people i was friends with at the time who thought reading and writing was dumb.

and speaking of that— i learned that i’m really inspired by old flowery prose and i should do it more because it makes me happy. finally read on my own for the first time in YEARS cuz i wanted more inspo. so i think a lot of this year the changes have been me becoming a more confident writer instead of trying to adhere to the aesthetic and ideas of other writers or other people around me :3

#about renjamin

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fan-tav-stic · 11 months ago

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For the Tav questions: 2, 8, 16, and 25 for Kairius? (And if you wanna do those same ones for Valexi I'd love to hear about him, too!)

Thank you again for asking Tav questions!!! I love talking about my boys sm!!!

Kairius

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

On the outside is pretty barebones. It’s decently small with a deep violet cloth. He’s got a small plush stool for sitting on to write his music and a rack that houses his sword

On the inside however!! He’s got STACKS of books that he’s picked up over the course of the game, papers crumpled and scattered everywhere from discarded song writing attempts, a small plank of wood behind his bedroll that houses a bunch of little carved figurines Halsin has made for him, his quill and ink, some home made horn oil + home made shampoo, and a small hand mirror + brush.

His bedroll is simple with a few luxurious pillows that he’s “borrowed”, one of which keeps his song journal safe.

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

BUCKLE UP THIS ONE IS LONG!!! Also to preface this: I have NOT finished the game and have only done Astarion’s quest in ACT 3 but i no longer care if its canon compliant or not LMAO.

So he, Shadowheart, and Halsin get a little plot of land on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate with a decent few acres of forest land beyond the house. They adopt Umi, Ide, and Yenna (+ Grub of course). He and Shadowheart get married a few years after (Halsin didn’t want to officially get married but he’s still very much on the same level in the polycule.) and then a few years after THAT they have Dahlia.

Dahlia is 1/2 tiefling, 1/4 elf, 1/4 human. She and the rest of his kids become his EVERYTHING. He used to do late night gigs but once she’s born he retires from that and focuses on his song writing since he can do that from home. He loves his kids with his entire fucking being.

Once she’s old enough Kairius teaches her the violin and lute, Shadowheart teaches her some basic healing and other cleric spells, and Halsin teaches her druidic magic. She ends up following in Halsin’s footsteps and becomes a druid. Her first wildshape is a bear cub to match her papa and Halsin calls her “Little Cub”. (I WILL die for Dahlia. I have never actually made a serious fan kid before and I love her sm.)

(I have not gotten to the reunion party so idk how to answer this yet lmao)

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

He’s a song writer and also knows how to dye hair. He’s actually the one who cut and dyed Shadowheart’s hair! (Though he DID fuck up her bangs a little). One of his many hidden talents is being able to bleach any kind of hair into a perfect blonde without frying it in the slightest.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Honestly? I don’t know. Getting into a characters head to talk about their trauma and stuff is easy but getting into their head to get basic stuff like strong opinions makes my brain hurt lmao. It’s like every piece of information i have about them evaporates as soon as i try.

Valexi under the Read More!!!

Valexi

2. Describe their tent setup! What’s on the outside? The inside?

His tent is smaller with a orange-red cloth. It’s pretty barren on the outside, no real personality or trinkets.

On the inside is also pretty barren. He’s got his bedroll, the necronomicon from act 1, a few charcoal drawings hanging up on the inside walls, a box of charcoals and tools, and his daggers in arms reach of his bedroll. Under his pillow is his large leather bound sketchbook.

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

I also haven’t finished the game with him so this is just spitballing or how i hope it goes.

He and Gale move in to Gale’s tower back in water deep. They are INCREDIBLY domestic and sappy. He’s a bit of a house husband, cleans and stuff while Gale is out teaching. They take turns cooking and on a couple nights a week they cook together like they did back in camp.

I don’t think they have kids, but if they did it would be until they were married for a WHILE.

Oh yeah, they get married obvs. I like to think Gale plans to have a big proposal and a ring but Valexi just kinda slips it into daily conversation by accident. Like they’re just talking and someone references something to do with marriage and Val goes “we should do that!” “What?” “Get married, of course. Would you want to marry me someday?” And breaks Gale for a while before he quickly agrees and that’s it, they’re engaged.

They are such fucking dorks.

(No reunion still sowwy lol)

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

He draws! It was originally for fun pre!game but during the game it becomes a coping mechanism for him. It still is a little but it becomes fun again after the game.

His drawings are all related to the memories he can’t remember and can only grasp after nightmares or sometimes when the urges take over enough that he blacks out a little. They’re all done in charcoal and are VERY fucked up in nature. Like I’m talking gruesome bodies, distorted faces, etc.

He also learns to cook with Gale! Another coping mechanism turned passion. He found that the urges could be sated by driving his knife into meat and vegetables rather than people. Gale teaches him every recipe he can remember off the top of his head as well as in cookbooks they find while adventuring. The first ever dish he made was rabbit stew! Gale thought him the proper way to cut veggies and that’s how he found out that chopping up the rabbit helped clear his head.

After the game he keeps learning and actually gets REALLY good and Gale is so fucking proud of his husband.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

Again, brain is currently too small to answer this kind of question lol. Maybe I’ll edit this one day and put ‘em in once I figure it out <3

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