#I know the bare minimum about this couple

[rafecameronsleftbicep]

want more, rafe cameron

When reader and Rafe have been sneaking around with each other for the last two months, y/n can't help but want more. Bringing this up with him, she's under the impression he's embarrassed to be seen with a pogue.

warnings: swearing, insecurities, arguing, mentions of sex, angst, always a sucker for a happy ending though, it's a looong one <33

pairing: rafe cameron x fwbpogue!reader

Y/n was sat on the little bench outside her small home, right by the water as the wind blew through her hair. Her knees were tucked up to her chin as the kook boy who usually plagued her thoughts did just that, sink into her mind.

It was never meant to be more than a good time, something to pass the summer. He made her feel good - in more ways than one - he would take her out on dates, whisper sweet words to her, and the way he looked at her. She could swear he was in love, that he was just as infatuated with her as she was him. But the way he only took her to private and secluded places, the way his words were the most affectionate when he was deep inside her, the way he would put space between them whenever he saw someone he recognised. These small things, things he may not even realise he does, they all reminded her that she wasn't anything to him. He would never let himself fully be hers, he could never let his reputation fall like that.

He gave her just enough that she felt completely and utterly consumed by him. Craved his attention, his touch, even a small message would complete her day. However, as time went on she knew she needed more, she knew that she couldn't bear much more before she completely lost herself to please him.

"Come over" The message catches her attention, the illuminated screen laying on the bench beside her pulling her from her wandering thoughts.

She knew the message was from Rafe before her eyes even flicked to the screen, she never really had anyone else calling on her. It wasn't that she didn't have any friends, but she wasn't one to go out and the friends she kept knew that.

A couple weeks ago, she would've been on her way to his before she could even start replying, no thought needed except the thought of being in his proximity. Now, however, she was tired. Tired and sad, feeling pathetic really after spending so long thinking about him.

"feeling tired tonight. sorry, rafe" She replies slowly, her heart pounding as she sends it. She turns her phone back off, yet before she can place her phone back down her screen lights up with another message from him.

"Please, baby. I need you" He responds, her heart sinks. She doesn't know how much more she can stand up for herself, fighting that craving feeling she has for him.

"not in the mood rn tbh" She tries to stay strong, holding onto that tiny bit of dignity she has left in her.

"Don't even need to fuck"

"Just wanna be close to you"

Her heart pounds faster and her breathing is shaky. Fingers hovering over her illuminated screen. Every possible message she could write spinning though her head.

"you can come over then" She types out, deletes and types out again. She had never been so unsure in herself before, never doubted her own thoughts like this. But she sends it, stopping herself from contemplating and worrying further.

Rafe had been to her place a couple of times before, only ever to pick her up. Each visit shorter than the last, hurrying to leave as if humiliated to be caught in such a place. It made her feel ashamed of who she was, how she grew up and she felt even more embarrassed that she let a guy make her feel so insecure about something that could never change, something that literally made her who she was.

"Coming" The phone lights up for a last time in her hands and when her eyes run over the message she is filled with surprise and even more shame as her heart warms for him. She knows that him visiting her is the bare minimum. That being able to step foot in the place she calls home should not be seen as a difficult task. But she feels happy that he's coming to see her because he wants to.

She sits with her pathetic thoughts as she waits for him. Curling up on the bench as she watches the way the pearly moonlight glimmers across the waves perfectly. The soft wind sending chills down her spine and strands of her hair across her face.

"Y/n?" She hears his voice call out and for a moment she feels like she's lost hers. "Baby?"

"Yeah, around here" She replies softly as she sees him bend round the corner of her home. She has a tiny smile on her face, never fully reaching her eyes.

"Something wrong, pretty girl?" He mutters softly as he moves to sit next to her on the bench. He's dressed in sweats and she can only assume he's been relaxing at home prior to coming over. He gently takes her bare legs and slides them onto his lap. He can't help but let his eyes rake over her perfect body. The way she looks so small in his shirt he must've let her borrow once and some pyjama shorts. Yet for the first time, he puts aside his vulgar thoughts because he can tell she's unhappy.

Her eyes look into his, the way he's cracked open her feelings so easily, reading her like a book despite keeping a wall up of his own. Her breath shaky again as she gives a small shrug, her eyes dropping down to his hands. The way his thumb gently runs back and forth over her knee.

"Talk to me" He says softly, the crease between his brows deepening as he loses her gaze.

"Do you even care?" She voices gently. Not looking at him, to maintain the little power she has left over herself.

"What?" He mumbles with confusion, his body straightening up as he didn't expect such blunt thoughts from her.

"Do you even care that I'm upset? Or what I'm upset about?" She mumbles a bit louder as her gaze moves back over to the glistening waves ahead of them.

"O-of course I do, I don't understand?" He mutters as his thumb stops the stroking and instead slides to her chin, moving her face to look at him.

"I mean we aren't dating, and it feels like you've never really cared about how I feel outside the sex." She tells him for the first time. The tension feels suffocating, yet at the same time the weight off her shoulders is so liberating.

"That's what you think?" He asks her, a strong tone of annoyance or maybe disappointment.

The eye contact between them so intense that she feels as though she needs to take a deep breath before replying or she might pass out. "That's exactly how it feels." She admits gently with a shrug.

"That's not what this is." He says firmly, shaking his head as his hand slips off her chin and runs down his face with a huff.

"You're embarrassed to be seen with me. Face it, Rafe. It's not like we're dating. You only keep me around for a good fuck." She says shakily, running off adrenaline and the fact that there's no use stopping now that she's started.

"You don't embarrass me, I'm just not ready to make things official." He tells her unwaveringly, yet his eyes darting towards the water, the ground, her. Everything about his body and words make him seem so secure in himself. Yet his eyes express all his true emotions, how hesitant and insecure he really feels.

"God, Rafe. You can barely be seen with me, and I can't bear to be just some girl you fuck and take out secretly." She tells him, her throat feeling scratchy and sore as her eyes water lightly. She curses herself for getting so emotional, it wasn't even that serious yet she couldn't keep herself together.

His heart breaks, pained as she expresses her feelings to him, pained as he watches her fall apart in front of him. "I'm sorry for making you feel that way." He mutters gently.

"Don't be. You never promised me anything more than what you've given me." She shakes her head gently, as her eyes look at the side of his face.

"I want to give you more, I want to promise you the world." He whispers with his head in his hands.

"I can't continue feeling like this, Rafe." She tells him softly, "I can't handle craving you privately."

"I didn't know you felt like this..." He replies shamefully, his hands sliding down his face as he turns to look at her with torment. His eyes are glossy and his jaw is clenched, he doesn't know what there is to say to make this better.

"Don't bullshit." She mumble with a soft frown, not believing for a second that he didn't know she was completely infatuated with him.

"No, y/n. I mean it. I've... I feel for you. And I don't know how to handle it, express it. Fuck. I'm a mess, baby." He spills to her helplessly. "If I knew how I was hurting you, I would've done something, said something. I just- it's so difficult for me." His voice rasps and cracks unsteadily.

She doesn't know what to say, heart pounding as she watches his sincerity. She fiddles with her fingers anxiously as she tries to think of anything to reply with.

"Please believe me, pretty girl" He practically whimpers, his hands itching to feel her near him.

"What are we gonna do?" She whispers as she looks down at her hands. "Something needs to change... I can't go on like this" She tells him.

"I wanna make you mine." He tells her, giving in to his desperation to be close to her as his hand moves to rest on her anxiously fidgeting fingers.

"What's holding you back?" She mumbles as her eyes remain glued to their hands, fluttering closed for a moment as she soaks in the warmth of his hand.

"I-I don't know. I just, I feel so stupid because I want to give you the world but I'm the one stopping myself from giving it to you." He opens up quietly, his eyes boring into the side of her face. "But I know I need you, for more than just your body. I need you in every way I can have you." He whispers to her, gently pulling her closer so that his lips brush the shell of her ear. His closeness, warmth and the way his breath tickles her ear shoots a shiver down her spine.

"Please let me have you."

(a/n: i had to end it there or i would keep writing all night, i hope you all enjoyed!!)

[synthaphone]

Allowing myself to go on a tangent about the nearly 26 year old virtual pet website that i am way too invested in.

So today they released the Candy Pteri. While I appreciate what they were trying to do here with it effectively having two designs that you get to choose between (The "Melted Candy Pteri" on the left is a Paint Brush wearable that can be removed to reveal the customizable base pet on the right), I think in this case, they have created two extremely boring designs when they could have easily created one strong design, or hell, even two strong designs if they wanted to do extra work.

Because with this release, we get a base Candy Pteri with no real lineart changes (like the rounded hair tufts and spines on the Candy Zafara), and an alternate design that's just... a drawing of a Marshmallow Peep™???

I would have WAY preferred a base Pteri where they did something like give it a little marshmallow dollop shape on its head and in place of the tail tuft, like my friend @darieyrie suggested. Or they could give it the Peep dot eyes and more rounded features! There's all kinds of ways you could do this concept.

I'd be less frustrated if the Peep wearable had any Pteri traits whatsoever, but its JUST a Peep that's been slightly microwaved. Which is a little funny, but even more than the Toy Poogle is just an iDog, the Candy Pteri does not have any deviation from its base inspiration at all. It's not actually an execution of the concept of "Candy Pteri thats based on a Peep" if there's no Pteri left at all!

(also are they just banking on the Just Born corporation (who make Peeps) never taking any action on this? it kind of goes beyond 'cheeky reference', its EXACTLY their product. I mean, it seems unlikely that they'll notice or bother doing anything if they do, but i don't really know why you'd risk that.) The saving graces of this design, imo, are that the pink and cream color scheme of the base pet IS pleasant (though the lineart and shading treatment aren't really my bag), and some people will enjoy the novelty of having a pet Marshmallow Peep™.

But really this is just the latest of a number of recent outfit and color releases that feel like they don't think people want Neopets. Like. This cardinal outfit that they also released today.

I love the idea of a cardinal Pteri! But this outfit literally takes away every distinguishing trait of the Pteri to make a high effort, nicely rendered, but stylistically incongruous generic cartoon cardinal????? Its not even a Neopet anymore!!! Even if I set aside my personal dislike of the overly rendered style they're using for more and more of the site assets, this wouldn't work with most of the rendering removed either, because it would still be a Pteri in pose and proportions only.

Not every new design and outfit that's come out in the past couple years has these issues and there have been a number I've really liked, and I DO think its great that the quality of the art has improved since the JumpStart era. But I would really appreciate it if the new pet colors in particular were designed a little more thoughtfully, so that they at bare minimum still resemble the species they're supposed to be outside of the rough pose and proportions. It sometimes feels like there isn't a rough draft or workshopping progress for new colors, and the members of the art team just kind of do their own thing and then the very first draft of an idea is what gets polished and released.

The current art direction for the customization aspects of the site just has me feeling like they've decided to throw out years of relatively cohesive art and world design for a strange jumble of ideas that don't really capture the appeal or feeling of Neopets to me.

[fleshengine]

Okay when I say “recently put it together” I mean I had an epiphany while writing that reblog but wanted to make a separate post.

My friendgroup started icing me out as soon as I started expressing my femininity and sexuality.

Some background: I had a wildly unhealthy relationship in my highschool years that really put me off from sex for a while. When I got to college I first dated this asexual enby but we broke up after a few months. Then through a friend I met this other enby who I then “dated” for over a year. We both had issues so we didn’t really go on dates that much or ever fuck. This person was also really good friends with a couple, one of whom is ace. I was an enby at the time (internalized transmisogyny is a bitch), and I actually learned months after the fact that the couple had gotten into an argument about my agab. One though I was amab (correct), the other thought I was afab (incorrect). Because of the aforementioned not fucking or expressing a desire to fuck my partner for over a year, they also assumed I was asexual.

Now I could talk about the issues I’ve had with this trio for a while, but suffice to say I’ve felt excluded since day 1.

Fast forward to 11 months ago. After feeling supported and loved and exposing myself to other trans women online, I finally decide to go back on E. I talk to my doc, I get put on injections, and it’s the best choice I’ve made in my adult life. It should be a cause for joy among my friends, and it is for many. But it was also a clear turning point in how that trio treated me. Because around this time I get my first sexual partner since highschool. What was once tacit approval and inclusion dries up to the minimum interaction as socially obligated of them. For that semester I felt progressively distanced from them, and it only got worse over the summer. The asexual, my roommate over the summer, interacted with me at a minimum. We had classes together, but the month we had off was devoid of anything resembling friendship. When the other two got back a week before normal classes started, the dregs of interaction dried to nothing. The three of them have barely spoken to me this semester. I’m too girl for them, I’m too sexual, I’m too comfortable and confident in myself to beg for scraps of attention from them.

If I didn’t have other friends, if I didn’t have tumblr, if I loved myself an iota less I might have caved and tried to reinsert myself into the group. I might’ve had to shave bits of myself off, my sexuality, my shoulders, my voice. I have the other people in my life who loved me as me to thank.

And you know what? Good for them, they can have their hyperinsular three person friendgroup if they want. They can pull vulnerable people into their orbit and let go of them however they want. I don’t have to be a part of it anymore. I have other people who appreciate me.

[tixdixl]

The amount of love I have for Wén and Kingsley TwT I know we talked about Wén and the Ramshackle/Pentergeist crew (Eu and Albert) but now I gotta wonder if or who Kingsley might...I dunno if I can as who he'd 'like', but how about:

Of my lil menagerie: Who might Kingsley find more intense emotions over (liking, hating, respect, etc.) more than 'eh I've heard of them...and?'

Oh this one is FUN to consider. Thank you so much for the ask!!

So, Kingsley is always tricky because he's the kind of guy who, in order to "like" someone takes a SHITTON of work. But!!!!

But

I have a couple of answers for you in a couple of different directions:

Albert: The words that come to mind immediately are "irritation" and "disgust". While Al might very well be a ball of mischief, there are other attributes he has that Kingsley would find irritating and he would likely do his damnedest to ignore Al's existence entirely. Double whammy that he's in cahoots with the Octotrio, cause Kingsley doesnt fuck with the Octotrio, at least not until much later post NRC. Kingsley does not respect Albert and does not believe that Al is capable of displaying any of the attributes he finds respect-worthy.

Eugenio: Depending on how things would go? Believe it or not at the bare minimum, Yuu would actually be able to earn Kingsley's respect. Based on what I read of your posts and the writing that includes him? He has the personality, the skills, and the attitude and priorities that makes Kingsley actually turn his head and pay attention- especially at the prospect of Yuu putting Sebek in his fucking place.

Galen: This is someone who Kingsley pays attention to in a sense of curiosity. Is he a threat? A viable contender for allyship? Does he have the skills that Kingsley needs to make some sort of agreement to further his goals? He isn't sure, but based on priorities, drive, and personality alone, his curiosity is piqued.

Tag list: @ramshacklerumble @the-trinket-witch @starry-night-rose @elenauaurs @rainesol

@cyanide-latte @winterweary @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @boopshoops

@lumdays @twstinginthewind @inmateofthemind

[asquared-ohgodnotthehorrors]

Actually hang on, while there aren’t explicit mechanical rules that really propel the idea of a Queer Narrative (mainly because the narrative rules are quite light), there are a lot of elements within the Lancer setting that permit queer narratives.

Like it’s a setting where all kinds of diversity exists and thereby pretty much anything goes, right? People who defy the norm can exist safely in the setting, and therefore there’s no conflict that simulates a queer narrative? On a broad scale, you’d be right!

But then you start going into the specifics. The weird outliers, because at the end of the day, Lancer emphasizes again and again that the universe is massive.

I’d actually like to pick an example from a third party module: Calliope and Nestor from In Golden Flame. Mostly because I think it’s a fantastic example of what can be done within the setting, partially because it’s the one I’m most familiar with.

Nestor is a world that was cut off from Humanity for a long time, and regressed to its worst roots. There was classism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, bigotry, all kinds of horrible things happened there. Then Union made recontact, and Nestorians risked their lives to tell Union the planet was irrefutably corrupt, that it was against their Utopian ideals to the Utmost degree.

Ya wanna know what Union did?

Wait and deliberate. The quickest they could’ve gotten there was in a decade, and they decided “no, Nestor isn’t a priority.”

This ultimately led to the situation escalating and getting worse, turning it into a multi year conflict that prey to much destroyed Nestor. Iirc, it’s uninhabitable now.

Queer people calling for the assistance of those who are supposed to help them, and being told they’re not a priority, that they should wait, that it isn’t urgent? Wonder where I’ve heard that before.

Meanwhile, Calliope. By all accounts, Calliope shouldn’t be colonized. It’s a star system with nearly nothing in it, and a spelling error made it so now millions of people are stuck in it.

It’s infested with pirates and a billionaire who idolizes the tyrants of Nestor, it’s out of reach of Union by several light years, no one goes there and everyone suffers under those who believe might makes right, and that everyone beneath them should starve. Where resources are already scarce and you have tyrants horde them anyway. Where a Cult that includes many survivors of Nestor is trying to end the universe because they believe that the suffering within it proves that it is unloved and should be removed to make way for the new one.

And Union tells them “it’s your fault you’re there. You should really leave if you wanna survive.” And then they provide the bare minimum, and neglect it for centuries.

That sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Now, if this was just In Golden Flame, that would be something else. It’s Third Party, why would that accurately encapsulate the setting?

But the thing is, these examples are paragons of the types of people that fall through the cracks in humanities so called Utopia. Where they suffer from the past of Second Committee, whose anthrochauvanism embodied a “might makes right” mentality, and all of humanities worst qualities came to light. That kind of millennia history isn’t erased in a couple years. That culture doesn’t just evaporate, especially when there are colonies established by them that haven’t even heard Second Committee has fallen.

I can name more examples. The Constellar Worlds of Smith-Shimano, Free Sanjak in the Baronies, the Purview of Harrison Armory, Hercynia, the Long Rim, all of the people trapped under tyrants who have fallen to the wayside and had their Utopia stolen from them.

Maybe Lancer isn’t entirely about Queer Narratives. But it is about revolutions, about bringing about a better future, about protecting those who have fallen between the cracks of the system and been forgotten by those meant to help them, about killing oppression, fascism, anthrochauvanism, and turning the tools that were meant to drive those demons forward against them. It’s about hope.

Is that not Queer?

One thing that keeps coming back to haunt me about my "D&D isn't an inherently queer game" post is people mentioning Lancer as a counterexample of a queer game which, I don't know, feels very much like missing the point. Like modern D&D, Lancer very much seems to be a game made by LGBTQ-inclusive folks where characters are allowed to be queer but at least based on the couple of times I've read it cursorily it doesn't exactly strike me as a queer text. Idk, maybe I just don't get it and it's more just a "we have claimed this game because we like the big robots" kind of thing

[hobunaga]

When will Shen Qingqiu's suffering ever end?

[hurkules]

Jason Todd in Love…

As Red Hood, he’s talkative, sarcastic, aggressive, and cocky. When he’s with you, he’s tender and gentle. He’s eerily quiet and strangely calm. Every whim is followed without protest, and he hangs on every word.

Jason’s always looking for ways to touch you and will constantly pull you into his lap where he’ll give you soft kisses on your shoulder and neck. He just likes to watch you exist: he watches quietly when you’re getting ready, attempting to cook, etc. He loves how you’ll trail your nails up his arm and across the top of his back as you pass him on the sofa.

He loves you because you ground him: You’re real, you’re here and you’ve never left. His world slows down with you and, when he’s getting in his head and slipping away, you snap him out of it. You stand up to him. You talk your shit and force him back to you. “Don’t do that. You’re trying to talk yourself out of this.” You grab his face, forcing him to look at you. “You want me, yes or no?”

“Yes.” He’ll answer softly. “Always.”

“Then you have me.” You push him away from you. “Don’t try and find a way to ruin it. I will kick your ass. Got me?” You stare at him, arms folded and waiting for an answer.

He’ll give a smile before answering. “Yeah, I got you.” He looks at you honey eyed and apologetic.

“Good.” You move into his arms and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Now, go sit in the kitchen. I made us breakfast.”

[sonknuxadow]

they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it

[stonesandswords]

.

[navramanan]

yeom mijeong put it into words so well for me. i'm a good person i won't ask to be loved. asking for love implies you're difficult to love because you're a bad person, so you ask for it. being a good person makes you lovable enough to be loved by someone, so a good person doesn't ask to be loved. a good person is just loved, without having to ask or beg for it. i'm a good person, so why should i ask to be loved? i'm a good person, why am i not loved.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

fellas the grind is turning my right arm into dust and there’s no sexual innuendo in there bc

so to the keyboard we go instead!

[whysamwhy123]

Me - ''I want to get better about writing shorter stuff and just putting it out there without thinking too much about it. So I'm just gonna write a short little OrangeHook drabble about Hook being a cuddlebug. It'll be a couple hundred words at most, just a cute little thing, it doesn't have to be a whole fic or tell a complete story or anything like that. Just fluff!''

Me - *writes 1.5k words and is still not done, thinks way too hard about it, feelings are now involved and discussed at some length, there's multiple asides and unnecessary details, silly moments abound and of course, there's age jokes*

Why.

[lapis-lazuliie]

the fact that joey spends basically all day at home / with nicole, due to being a freelance artist, while michael is at the office - one chilled out with the other being very practical - and not only is it the way they parent her but it's just their personal dynamic and it's Normal is. AH makes me sing

[sasayan]

earlier i saw a clip of leslie from yesterday’s stream and i’m just so fucking disappointed in her. maybe it was naive of me, but i had actually hoped that in the end she wouldn’t play hogwarts legacy (or at least not stream it and thus show it to thousands of viewers) even though i knew she still likes hp. but now that i’ve heard what she actually said while trying to justify playing it ...... yeah, that was not it. at all.

what’s even worse is that she then told her mods to ban anyone in chat if they were being ‘negative’ when the comments probably just rightfully called out everything wrong with the game and the franchise as a whole. i can’t imagine what it’s like for those in leslie’s community who belong to the groups that are affected to hear her being so dismissive. she completely missed the point of why she (or anyone, for that matter) shouldn’t play it.

[miesozernacma]

is

is there maybe a

a strategy to confessing to your father you hate him

becaauuuseee

[fingertipsmp3]

I love when I open the guidelines for next week's assignments and it literally makes no sense. I don't mind this