#I know my man has change for the better
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Did you guys saw the trailer. OMG IM SO EXCITED BUT SO NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME I WANT IT TO BE GOOD SO BAD.
BTW EVERYONE SAYING ARMANDO HASNT CHANGED AND WILL CHEAT, CONSIDER YOURSELF AN OPP
#I know him y’all 🥺#he’s so in love with Betty he CANT physically be with no one Else#armando mendoza#betty la fea#ysblf#beatriz pinzón solano#yo soy betty la fea#I know my man has change for the better
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im not the biggest alhaitham/kaveh shipper (because im a rare pair ho) but it seems to me that in alhaitham/kaveh getting-together fics tend to be... unequal.
the beautiful thing about alhaitham and kaveh is that they're both equally right and equally wrong and equally dicks about it. but the writers for alhaitham/kaveh much more frequently seem to give alhaitham the burden change (the burden of the character flaw) instead of kaveh.
in any good character arc, the main character has a fatal flaw or misconception, and by the end of that arc they have addressed that flaw in some definitive way. scrooge was a scrooge and learned that being that way was detrimental; merlin from finding nemo was overprotective to a fault and had to learn that he couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything and to let go; the wolf from little red riding hood learns that you should stop while you're ahead.
stories centering around romance tend to lean heavily on character arcs, which makes sense. and since romance generally requires two individuals to be vulnerable and open and emotional with each other, it makes double sense that alhaitham/kaveh authors zoom straight into alhaitham's lack of emotional vulnerability.
this bothers me.
in society, individuals are expected to experience and present emotions in a specific way. if someone dies, you cry. if someone smiles at you, you smile back. if you're at a party, you're supposed to be having fun. if you don't do these things, you're seen as impolite at best and a inhuman freak at worst. when these behaviors are frequent it's often viewed as emotional immaturity, or a lack of ability to feel at all. the inability or lack of willingness to conform to societies emotional expectations of you is seen as a flaw and a reason for exclusion.
alhaitham is canonically disliked and avoided for being the way he is. he prefers it this way, but that doesn't mean the people perpetuating this avoidance are in the right. they are the societal pressure to conform that alhaitham blows off. alhaitham could be the way he is for a lot of reasons: avoidant attachment style, trauma, following someone else's example (eg. his grandmother), or just his base personality. it doesn't MATTER. he is the way he is. kaveh having to accept that should be part of the story.
putting the burden of the fatal flaw on alhaitham, making the way alhaitham treats kaveh and the people around him the problem, feels invalidating. it implies heavily that alhaitham's way of interfacing with the world, alhaitham's very SELF, is incorrect. my suggestion is to flip a larger portion of that burden onto kaveh. kaveh 👏 character 👏 arcs 👏
some examples/recommendations:
- make kaveh project his insecurities onto other people but especially onto alhaitham; he's overly reliant on other people for his own self worth, and he perceives alhaitham's lack of positive feedback as a direct reflection of how alhaitham feels about him. but learns along the way that alhaitham doesn't hate him, kaveh's actual struggle is with hating himself and being unable to his own self as worthy of love. maybe throw in how you are responsible for your own recovery, other people can help but you can't rely on them to carry you through self actualization.
- or, kaveh tries to make alhaitham behave more like a "normal" person, to be more pleasant and emotive and forthcoming, and then realizes he's in the wrong for trying to make alhaitham into something he's not, possibly for all the wrong reasons (not because he likes alhaitham better like that, but bc society says that's healthier and a better/more conforming way to be)
- or you could go ahead make alhaitham's issues the main problem but they're too complicated to overcome in a short period of time, so kaveh has to accept alhaitham is doing his best in his own way and not push for unrealistic and unhealthy changes. he could alter his own behavior to give alhaitham space and time and a safe place to land.
that got sappy so it's past time for me to dip out. go forth and ship things; but maybe consider letting alhaitham be a rude stone-faced bastard if he wants to be.
#genshin#alhaitham#kaveh#alhaitham x kaveh#kaveh x alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#fanfiction#fandom discussion#meta post#i finally used a readmore are you proud of me#as an avoidant attachment girlie alhaitham is my oshi#pls just allow him to not emote#let the man vibe#i feel certain there must be a real word for the concept of... socially enforced emotional conformity#unrealistic societal expectations and for your inner world which is none of their business#but i sure couldn't find it#if anyone has any words for this pls let me know it's kind of killing me#anyway#i get so mad when the avoidant attachment coded character is forced into (independently by themselves) the arc of:#i realize now that my way of interfacing with people is wrong and bad. yay! i will change that immediately for the big emotional finale#like! with what therapy!!#and why is THEIR world view the incorrect one!!#i have seen fics where it was all a big misunderstanding and actually alhaitham loves kaveh deeply#and kaveh just has to get over his insecurities and understand alhaitham's love language or whatever#and sure. good effort.#but i feel like a lot of those fics aren't very accurate to alhaitham's character#they're retrofitting alhaitham's core personality to better suit the traditional romance narrative#i also think part of the problem is that alhaitham is a pov that's divorced from regular emotionally well adjusted people#and it's difficult to understand or write povs that are drastically different from your own
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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this is your reminder to make ur cringy n self indulgent art bc cringe is dead and you gotta live life (I say, despite the fact i still feel a bit cringe but im being so brave abt it)
lettin myself post n do more art for myself so apologies for the more selfshippy art than usual
#artswin#tsp narrator#tspud narrator#selfship#oz rambles#in the tags oz rambles go brrrrr#been hyperfocused on the numbers for a while recently which is why ive been pretty low if uve seen sdkhf#but im starting to feel better so in an effort to let myself feel better im doin more self indulgent art#with these types of things i usually make myself as a generic gray human instead of my sona (or recently my sona fusion)#(the sona fusion has my white swoop but black irl hair)#but making this made me remember how much i love drawing myself with narry n i dont wanna get rid of that#i only made the generic gray human art just bc i wanted other ppl to insert themselves which i still wanna do#but at the same time *I GOTTA LET MYSELF BE CRINGE MAN THIS IS MY OLD GEEZER I CAN BE CRINGE FOR HIM*#anywho if yall havent seen my updated intros recently. i selfship with the narrator (specifically virgil) in a bff/qpr way#so it might look hella romantic and couply occasionally were just a couple of besties /pos#gonna tag it with a selfship name tho just so i can access my posts on it easier#n so if yall wanna block me n my cringe for any reason then feel free! /gen /nf#naroz#digitalmuse#(or smth idk ive seen ppl have pretty cool selfship names so i wanna try smth similar but who knows it could change) :P
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blake lets him keep it. this is a dire lapse in judgement on his part but they're just gonna have to live with it. (ids in alts)
#niksartstuffs#furry hockey league#ocs#furry art#theyre both.... like. ok.#conor is like. nice and soft spoken and awkward and sweet but then every now & then does smth SO serial-killer-esque.#and you just have to stand there like okay my perception of this kid has been irrevocably changed forever. what the fuck man.#and blake is very outwardly offputting and bitchy kind of on purpose which hides a deep insecurity which also hides a belief that he is#in fact better than everyone else which also hides a desperate need for someone to pay special attention to him. tch. typical.#then conor does pay attention to him. a lot. and blake likes conor more and more the weirder and weirder he reveals himself to be. win-win.#that being said i dont think they are getting together until they're like. 10 years into their careers LMAO. i keep making the burn slower#every time i think abt it. a couple yrs and then 10 yrs next thing u know it'll be when they're retired.#wait... coaching a team together........... no no i cant keep doing this to them. whatever actually i can have AUs for my own universe.#conlake baseball au. make that a reality.#idk what their portmanteau ship name should be. in my mind they are the obnoxious main ship that ppl with good taste ignore in favour of#blake/lucas or something. anyway. its fun meta thinking about my own work. these tags have gotten so far away from me.
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bro you need to realize you just see katara as your self insert and you just have a crush on zuko. maiko and kataang are canon, die mad
Lawd a mercy, you're right!!! I've never thought of it that way!!! My entire worldview has just been shaken. Thank you! Thank you, you tower of intellect and insight!
#man if you don't take your cowardly behind somewhere#my self insert has always been and will always be jun#but even if katara WAS my self insert#even if i did have a crush on zuko#so what?#saying katara is my self insert#like it's some sort of gotcha#as if adult aang wasn't literally modeled off of one the creators#and they didn't push kataang because they got rejected by their babysitters in middle school#don't you have something better to do than bug strangers for shipping a pairing you hate#i know the kataang tag is dead#but dang baby!#go start a conversation#be the change
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Speaking of Shimazaki, I learned a lot about myself this week making these terrible memes so I could drop them in the discord chat as I made my friends watch MP100. What I learned was, I have a terrible sense of humor (actually I already knew that, I just didn't realize it was this bad) and that the only thing I enjoy more than watching Shimazaki kick ass, is Shimazaki getting his ass kicked. (I'll have more of these for next week when we get to Serizawa's stuff! Sorry!)
#mp100#mob psycho 100#shimazaki ryo#shimazaki ryou#sorry for my terrible humor and my outdated memes#ryou shimazaki#ryo shimazaki#i have to tag every spelling because i won't remember which one i used#personal#jade's blorbos#mp100 spoilers#also the irony is not lost on about how bad i am at image descriptions on a post about a blind man i'm trying my best#img desc in alt text#long post#really though if anyone has any constructive feedback on how i can get better at image descriptions#please tell me!#i probably need to take a writing class or something i am SO bad at words#what i specifically arranged these in the least annoying way possible so it wouldn't make the post too long#and it changed it to them stacked on over the other#i'm sorry i don't know why
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Made cake at 11pm today to celebrate my engagement because my parents refused to be happy about it.There is perhaps a small amount of bitterness in me. Cake was good though. Even if it's kind of gray for some reason.
#my mom could not emphasize enough now disappointed she was with my lifestyle choice but that she wanted me to be happy#and like girl#okay thank you for trying but also#she was patting herself on the back so hard for being such a good ally and accepting of it#and like no#you're at best tolerent which I know is better than a lot of lgbtq people get#but god fucking damn it it hurts so much that I'm engaged was met with I'm so disappointed and became a long discussion about religion#like I know if my partner has been a man they would have at least said congratulations instead of how they're disappointed#I tried to show my mom the engagement ring and she gave me such a look of reluctant disgust before changing the subject#so she didn't have to actually see it#and I'm just#yeah#there's some disappointment and devestation#anyways#happy engagement chem 🥂wish you were here#id feed you my suspiciously gray cake so we could get food poisoning together#me as person
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How people are trying to change fandom (the rise of hatred against non-canon media)
This was inspired by the rise of backlash against the "Rhysta" ship.
Traditionally throughout the history of fandom spaces on social media, a very important factor has been creativity of course. Art and Fics by fans being the backbone of a fandom. Including non-canon ships, Aus, etc. And of course there was drama (when is there not drama?) BUT there wasn't as much hate because there was an understanding that it's not REAL. People in fandoms understood creativity and thinking outside the box (canon)
But something interesting happened in 2020 with the pandemic, people who weren't apart of fandom spaces started joining cause what else were you going to do? but there started the divide. These people wouldn't have joined fandoms originally because they didn't have that sort of creativity. Which isn't a bad or negative thing, everyone is different and that what makes the world go around, but these people were not used to fandom spaces and that divergency. To them, things have to be how it was written and non-canon things, ships or au's that can't hurt you or become canon, were blasphemous. Because why change the foundation if you liked the original media? this also ties into the "why do you read or interact with this media?" questions when people engage with media in their own way even if they dislike the majority of it. which is valid to do, I do it personally with acotar. I dislike the majority of acotar from the way it's written to lots of the characters, but I interact with a certain subset of the fandom that shares a love for the same characters as I.
But these people, these mostly neurotypical, TikTok people, intrude into these safe creative spaces and cause a ruckus over non-canon Aus and ships. for no reason! Ships like Rhysta are harmless, of course people who make and consume this media don't think it's going to be real, and that's the misconception! Making and consuming non-canon media doesn't mean you think it's going to happen or want it to happen, it's just existing. existing for the sake of existing and stretching creative muscles. You can't grow as an artist if you do not break from the mold, from the restraints of canon.
What you are doing by constantly harassing and posting shit about non-canon media is showing you lack a fundamental understanding of Fandom. Policing what people do is a fruitless endeavor. of course, calling out actually problematic creators is okay, when what they're doing is actually harmful and not them being creative or God forbid, a little weird.
There has been and still needs to be respect in the places. Filtering tags for things that upset you and blocking creators you disagree with is key to being someone people will actually listen to and respect. If you refuse to do that, no one you harass, or attack will take you seriously. and maybe that's not your objective but that means you're going to be blocked on main and made fun of. And this segment is somewhat targeted at someone who has been consistently harassing my mutuals, but I've seen so many people like this and it's a real issue. And its such an issue in Booktok popular books and shows, and media that becomes popular with the masses.
Fandom spaces aren't meant to follow canon to a T. People will have non-canon ships, opinions on how they think the series should have gone, opinions on characters, etc. Constantly harassing and targeting creators won't change that.
I know this won't stop this behavior, it will continue to happen but it's been bothering me and maybe this will change some people's minds on how they interact with the media they like, and they hate.
I love rhysta, I think that the dynamic is very interesting and that people are free to explore that and say whatever they want about how it could have gone in canon. None of that means i think its going to happen or that it should. Lord, people are just having fun. Like they should in fandom places.
#acotar#anti booktok#rhysta#this focuses on the acotar fandom as thats were i have experienced the majority of issues but this applies to any fandom#arson yaps#non canon media#this is a bit rambly but yeah#Theres so much internet etiquette that has been lost#when I shit talk people on my blog i keep their @/Url blocked because im not trying to get people attacked#and people make mistakes. man i have but I do my best to learn from them#Like the tag system! ive made some kinda bad mistakes when it came to it but i know better now!#People who try to change how the tag system acts or make shit tf up amuse me#or when they get mad at ppl using the tag system as intended... lord above#im not going to go out of my way to engage with ---- but i do shit post about her and she has seen it and complained which is funny#i dont start shit but i wont let it go god bless#fandom#fandom culture#fandom things#if you actually read all this congrats lmao
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Oh… that’s Sunday’s ENG VA doubling down on his support for Chris Niosi
#honkai starrail#moze hsr#hsr sunday#honkai star rail#this situation is a joke how is this even being debated#even if you want to argue Chris needs it to work he was literally getting jobs between this one and was doing fine#also va work is not the only job. HE fucked up legally in multiple ways and as a result lost that privilege#people are fucking concerned bc this is giving him a big platform to abuse again#and I’m sorry?? but idk! unpopular opinion ig! but um I don’t think a man who has reportedly never reached out to his victims has#truly taken the steps to change and better himself#the people he hurt should absolutely chose if he can work again or not bc he used his position to hurt people#I’m sorry I know I’m talking about this a lot but it pisses me off to continuously seeing people defend gross men like this#it also pisses me off to see how many people are ignoring it#I’m not gonna go off about this more bc plenty of people have said my thoughts in better ways but I rlly hope Hoyo does smth abt this#hoyoverse#honkai star rail fandom
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#[clenches fist] it's about the POTENTIAL of it all!!!!!#like taigen's last words in s1 being 'we're not done yet' like ?!? has me WANTING to see more. wanting to see them grow with each other#like i want taigen by the end to be ridiculously head over heels WHIPPED and SMITTEN willing to die and kill and just be BETTER. for mizu.#mizu. the person who changed his entire life. his entire worldview. pulled the rug from under him and made him a man forever changed.#to overcome his selfishness so he can be mizu's HOME in a world that doesn't allow her one#i want him to end up deciding like. 'on purpose. im going to love you on purpose.'#and mizu no matter how much she tries to convince herself that she cannot love or be loved. ends up accepting it anyway#love as work and violence but also love as rest and safety#and also bcs taigen represents the ideals of society. him willing to change & grow also represents society's potential to change & progress#LMAO okay sorry i absolutely cannot stop rambling about these bitches the brainworms are insane#bcs i just noticed that other mizutaigen enjoyers tend to also be in the same fandom circles for ships that i just. do not like. at all#and wondered like huh. i wonder why that is. and wondering what makes mizutaigen different#idk just ignore me i dont even know if im making sense my brain is goop from working on my research proposal#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf
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Just a friendly reminder that you never know what people are going through behind closed doors. It's been an emotional week for so many, to say the least and it's reminded me that showing kindness, caring and compassion for others, even when they might be doing things that you don't necessarily understand or agree with, is always a positive choice, especially when they are acting out of character and not like the person you've come to know.
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People struggle in so many different ways and more times than not, they can get very good at hiding their pain, to the point where no one realizes how bad things have gotten until it's too late.
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Don't hesitate to check on people if you're worried about them and let them know you care! It might not seem like much but to someone who is really going through it, it might just make all the difference in the world to them.
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Choose love, choose hope and let people know you care and that you're there if they need you.
#I still can't believe this has happened#my younger self is in absolute shambles#and my current self isn't doing much better#the boys that once meant so much to me are all changed forever but I'll be forever grateful to them for everything#i'm heartbroken#yes he's done some questionable things but he didn't deserve this#his death is tragic and he should be remembered for the man he was before the addictions took over#rest in peace Liam#say hi to Louis mum and sister#I know they're there waiting for you#1d#one direction#liam payne#mental health#positivity#show kindness#kindness#compassion#empathy#addiction
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I played AI: The Somnium Files recently and I can't stop thinking about it, currently playing through nirvanA Initiative
have some Aibas featuring Kuramon
#ai the somnium files#ai: the somnium files#aitsf#aiba#digimon#kuramon#fan art#digital art#artists on tumblr#video games#visual novels#im so bad at drawing people i need to draw more#fortunately all of that behind the scenes sketchbook grinding has helped a lot so im a lot better now than i used to#but i still have a long way to go#man i wanna draw date so bad and do him justice#or maybe not i can't stand his cringe ass#also laughing at the fact that “aiba” is also the name of the protag of cyber sleuth#and yeah i know AI aiba's japanese name is technically aibo but yeah this is probably gonna confuse some digimon fans lol#anyways if ur even slightly interested pls pls pls pls pls play this game i can't stress this enough AND GO INTO IT COMPLETELY BLIND#anyways i think this game changed my brain chemistry
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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