#I know my limits I respect them and I will not work myself to death to be a Hero

[burnorgetburned]

EVEN MORE CLARA DOLL DETAILS:

So you know how the Dolls have their own distinctive clothes?

Guess who else has their own distinctive clothes!

That’s right. The multiple Homuras are actually Clara Dolls.

And that’s why ‘Homura’ is smiling.

Here they are! The one with the striped hat is Nekura (Gloominess or Pessimism) and the one with the flower is Mie (Vanity).

Here’s their descriptions from the art book.

[The second one to come was Gloominess. Walking out with a tapping sound, she sneered at Good-for-Nothing. “This is Good-for-Nothing! How very unbecoming.” These dolls are only disciples of Freedom, and are devoted to their lust for it.]

[The tenth to come running is Vanity. She exaggeratedly avoids Good-for-Nothing's head and says a few words. “I wouldn't be able to bear dirtying my cape with that sticky blood!” These dolls make fun of the witch's self-mutilation.]

Good-for-Nothing is Homura, by the way, but the Clara Dolls seem to consider Good-for-Nothing to be good for something after all after she splits Madoka. She turns into the Devil, and the Clara Dolls are stated to be “okay” with the Devil. If the young voices in the trailer belong to the Clara Dolls, then they also call her “Akuma-sama” now. Something like Mistress Devil, implying a sense of respect.

[… if they are not summoned, they will simmer. There are orders they will comply with, and also orders they will disobey. What they are and the witch herself's own magic are not well understood.]

At the end of Rebellion, Homura gave Madoka her ribbon back. She declared that they might become enemies in the end. Honestly, I thought that Homura would try her best to avoid Madoka entirely. The trailer suggested that Homura was meeting Madoka, though. Here’s the answer: it wasn’t Homura herself, but Gloominess, who wants freedom.

Now, I’m not sure how this situation works out. Do Clara Dolls have free will? Are they obeying Homura’s orders? Acting out Homura’s true emotions? Is Homura perhaps directly puppeteering them in order to fulfill her goals, or do they act on their own?

I find it likely that it’s a mix of both: some of them obey her, and some of them will try and fulfill her (probably very conflicting) desires, as familiars usually do. Gloominess is likely part of Homura who wants the freedom to talk to Madoka, for example, but Vanity seems to me like a Clara Doll who is obeying Homura. After all, she still needs magical girls to fight wraiths, at least until she finds a way to wipe them out.

[I'm Vanity (Mie). I'm pushing myself to the limit for someone.] And she is, of course. All of the theatrics, the calls, the organization of magical girls. These are things that Vanity is shown to engage in. All of this is for Madoka.

We see with Gloominess, at least, that she seems to be fulfilling a specific desire: in the background are white spider lilies. Instead of the red spider lilies that mean death, final goodbyes, and lost love, white spider lilies mean a hope for the future and a fresh start. Maybe this really is the first meeting for these two in a while, and she wants to be friends again?

Or maybe, being Gloominess, she wants to warn her about something.

[I'm Gloominess (Nekura). Forcing smiles tires me out.]

Then there’s this Homura.

Nothing about her clothes is very different. She is wearing ribbons as Homura in the wraith universe does, but look closely: the ribbons are different. They have some wavy stripes on them, while Madoka’s ribbons are plain. She does not correspond to any known Clara Doll.

However, there’s mentioned to be a fifteenth Clara Doll that is not yet born: Ai, representing love. This could be her. Is it love for others? Or love for herself? I’m hoping it’s the latter, but very likely it’s love for Madoka and her friends. This would explain why she’s trying to fight Homucifer in the poster, as Homura believes that she’s a danger to everyone else.

How can this be? Well, here’s a few options:

- The Clara Dolls are grown-up familiars. They ate souls, and they became a copy of their witch. This is a process that was explained to us in the original series, where some magical girls are stated to farm familiars by letting them eat people so that they would grow souls/grief seeds.

- The Clara Dolls are not familiars, or wraiths, but instead a secret third thing. “What they are and the witch’s own magic are not well understood”, as said in the Rebellion art book. They could be magical constructs of a different kind, but I do think that this would get into overcomplicated explanations quickly, so I favor the familiar explanation.

- The Clara Dolls could be familiars, but instead of eating souls they’re simply powerful enough to change their shape. Their strength is equal to the strength of a magical girl…. when Homura was a witch, before Homura became something more. It could also be energy from the contracts making them stronger. Maybe it’s me being sentimental, but I don’t like the idea of Homura letting anyone’s soul be nommed on.

Now, before there’s a panic about how they’ll juggle fifteen extra characters, here’s a few thoughts:

- Just because they seem different doesn’t mean they’re actually different. It might be that the Clara Dolls are a way for Homura to present herself. As Vanity, she might show off more, or have dramatic flourishes like her throne and her dress. As Gloominess, it might be that she doesn’t believe that her plans will work, so she tries to do what makes her happy. It’s likely that the Clara Dolls are just extra ways to explore Homura’s character. They’re parts of her soul, after all, and right now she is extremely powerful. She might simply want to keep her true self away from humans.

- They could work like projections. Homura wants more bodies to work with, but she has to filter herself through the Dolls’ personalities. This could result in a lot of juicy character interactions, as the things she tries to keep hidden are closer to the surface.

- Will ‘Ai/Mystery Homura’ fight against Devil Homura? Very likely! How can this be when they’re the same person? Well, who hates Homura more than Homura? That’s right. Nobody. Anyone can fight and argue with their self, it’s just usually not on the level that a reality-warper like Homura can manage.

If this is true, there’s plenty of interesting directions they can take it.

- Because the Clara Dolls have a degree of separation from Homura, they can show other characters things that Homura herself has ignored or locked away. Bad memories, affection for her friends, the resentment she must feel - everything from concern to a cry for help can be plausibly shown through them as the actors.

- Manuke (Stupidity) is specifically more naive/sincere than the others. Maybe interacting with this Doll would show the Quintet that there’s something more going on than a Devil who wants to hurt other people.

- If Ai represents a love for other people, Ai can have a strange character arc where she learns to value Homura/herself, and become self-love.

- On the other hand, Ai can represent self-love from the start, and because Homura looks very fucking unhealthy in the trailer, she only wants to stop her because she’s hurting herself. This option plays into the themes of self-sacrifice and happiness, which I believe to be some of the major themes that they’re going for.

- The poster could be misleading and Ai ends up fighting everyone but Homura. I find this the funniest option.

- Homura can hug herself. It’s possible. In fact, every character can hug Homura 15 different times.

Smiles are a Clara Doll’s default expression. We have yet to see Homura smile for real.

Is this going to get very ambiguous and confusing? Probably. But rewatching for details was the fun part in Rebellion, so I’m looking forward to it!

[grhmwtts]

lately,

i’ve been trying to hold space for the harsh realities—the limitations, regulations—i must impose on myself. i spent the past decade unlearning what my church had taught me to be definitively “good” or definitively “bad” and, in such, unleashed a brutal and intoxicating world onto my feeble, pastel body. in said liberation was a newfound understanding that there is no place for objectivity in regards to the good, the bad—but there is, and must be, subjectivity to the good, to the bad. i soon thereafter considered myself a hedonist, indulging in the endless search for pleasure with a fixation on the pursuit of a higher fix each time, because i had believed that since i had the capacity, the ability to do all things then i must do all things. i suppose, herein i shall introduce emotional intelligence, making its entrance in stride, arm-locked, with a sense of identity. somewhere, in the place where their skin meets, warm by their intertwining arms, resides desire—futile, pulsating—escaping. this is where i find myself now: captivated by their entrance, rotten as intrusive thoughts darken the stained glass windows of the church of my mind. what ceremony is this—i dare not ask. but i am keen, and i am ruined, like never before. my veins rupture, an aneurysm of a divinity, where the “good” and the “bad” seek to tear apart each ligament of mine. in these spaces between possibility is the understanding that anything can reside within it, for the specifics do not dictate the general picture—the microaggressions do not typically overtake the one’s impression of character—but certain matter does make a knee capable of bending or in need of replacement. as such, it is within our own genetic, emotional, makeup which suggests what matter might be best for our personal functionality, ease of existence. and only, through the desire brought by contact of emotional intelligence and a sense of identity, their two independent entities and the room that is this church that is this world, that this life of a mind, do we begin to understand how exactly to piece together this body, this world, this life of self. in this process, i find myself. in this process, i find myself questioning my individuality, examining it through a lens and finding in what ways it differs to that of the general understanding, the inundation of mass media. but only in the quietude can i find myself. so i hold space for the harsh realities—the understandings crippling my adolescent-views of self, world. and i allow myself to accept—radically, theatrically, screeching in beauty and terror—that what is “good” for me is good for me, what is “bad” for me is bad for me, and neither of these standards decree a general “good” or a general “bad”. they instead eradicate judgement, eradicate fear, and invite empathy and honor to each outlook. i, still worry-minded and adolescent-angsted, wish to know how good/bad works for other people, hope that i am not the only one to feel so alienated by the way the world apparently works. but in the most minute senses: i must think of these guideposts as allergies. varying in intensity from discomfort to death, i must know the risks and remedies. i must accept that my body, my brain, might not take to 0T7 very well. even if 0T7 is commonly revered, i must instead respect my own limitations, and see them for what they are: understandings which enable me to find my own ease of existence, embrace my personal functionality at its best. it’s a long, hard-fought battle to recognize one’s own capacities and shortcomings. tis an arduous process, what most call life. and i am thankful to recognize that these specifics contribute to what makes me me, similar to the atoms, to my genetics, a glorious collision suggesting life, i get to embrace my own harsh realities. for the world is vast and we can lose ourselves within it. the self is vast and we can find our world within it.

[lilia-calderus-pet-goat]

This is a very sleep deprived thought—and I don't actually believe it, per se—but.

I've seen a lot of people who are deeply unsatisfied with the retcon of it being Agatha that bound Jen's magic. Mainly, because it felt like shoe-honing. Especially since Agatha made such a point about going out of her way to not kill Jen despite hating her, because she respected her work too much.

I think many interesting discussions can be had about this. I've talked about this before—the fact that Jen's character felt sort of neglected in the finale, and the fact a lot of people struggled to connect with her prior to rewatches. (I myself didn't have this problem, but still, my criticisms are still of the same nature-)

So anyway, Agatha probably chose to bind Jen to keep her out of the way, not realising the weight of that, the intersectionality—perhaps not caring about the suggesting very much at all. Because, you're a midwife, Jen. You can still do good. You will do good, just out of my way. And I truly do believe this is how it went.

But what if Agatha hadn't been the one to bind her? What if, in a brief moment of clarity, Agatha locked in to get everyone out? Her movements are always supposed to be calculated, so is carelessness really in her repertoire?

Maybe, just maybe, she heard Jen say that, “I'll be damned if I let one of you two idiots die,” and that triggered her. Maybe because of pride—god knows she was overwhelmed before the final trial and all her walls had come right back up. But the same didn't apply to Jennifer. She had actually changed. Jen had actually re-discovered her worth. She'd remembered who she was, power or not. She was someone Agatha respected in spite of the resentment. Someome who heals, nurtures, helps, does good. Not the vain, surface-level, self-serving fraud—who had previously been on a dark path too similar to Agatha's own, so close to complete cynicism. Lilia had saved Jen from that path and oushed her to be the path ahead. The Obstacles? Agatha.

And Agatha won't accept Jen's help—not after what happened to Alice, which to Agatha's & Billy's eyes alike stands as evidence of the fact she is a monster. She won't even accept to acknowledge her own character development, as a mere episode ago she jumped in front of a sword to save Lilia. She won't, above all, acknowledge that Jen has grown to care about her. Instead, she will do everything tomake that kdea crumble. She will destroy it.

All she needs to do is shape the narrative Billy truly thinks is true, and so it can become the truth. Billy, who created the condition in which it was possible for Alice to break her generational curse. Who found the spirits of Evanora and Nicky alike. All the trials were his limited understanding of the coven & of witch folk. (Jen's was right out of her vision board, she looked like one of her clients—nothing like the rootworker midwife we know she used to be. Alice's is in the seventies, which mathematically makes no sense with her age as she would have been born in the eighties to be the age she is on 2025—but Billy based everything about her trial on Lorna, because that's what he was familiar with. Agatha's mind he couldn't read—all he knew about her was that something happened to her son. So he puts a grown woman in children's clothing, to force therapy on her—and she regresses into the hurt little girl she was at the stake. Lilia, whose mind is the loudest & most easily accessible to Billy, had the most personalised trial, but even then, it latches onto the witch stereotypes that she so desperately hates. All of those do help the girls—minus Agatha—but still don't fully represent them. As for the green witch trial, well, it took him a while to cook it up, because he just found out Rio is death. Anyway, I digress—) My point being, if you can shape Billy's understanding of a situation, you can have some power over what happens. (One trial for each witch, the public transport system, etc.)

Would it be such an impossible stretch to say Agatha painted herself as the villain once more, embracing the part presented to her, the oart most familiar, the oart she knows best to simultaneously reject Jen's offered sisterhood/peace/altruism AND make sure the road gave Jen her powers back? She gets Jen out of the way—go do good again, just out of my way—because she's hellbent on the narrative that Agatha Harkness can't be anything but a covenless witch.

And what's the next thing she does, after assuring Billy that the road took Jen to safety after giving her what she wants?

She tries to get what she wants, because she knows Billy is in no real danger in his own road. Give me a little power-boost, dungeon master, get me out of here, come on. But he doesn't trust her. And if he doesn't trust her—she can't possibly convince him to willingly hand himself over to Rio.

So she gives him what he needs, what he wants from the road. She guides him—cradles his head and helps him fight the guilt, she helps him save Tommy. The second abomination that Lady Death was trying to prevent has already been re-born, but Rio's too busy playing mother-knows-best in suburbia on Agatha's rooftop.

So Agatha gets Billy out, accepts that, “sometimes boys die,” that death herself can't be blamed for Nicky—she forgives Rio—and starts to mourn herself. She's gotten Jen & Billy out. She can stay here and die the villain. But the road presents her with the opportunity to live—from death, life—(she also realises right then that Nicky was also Rio's, btw)—and she makes her dramatic exit. The rest is... A different post.

[idkwhatimd0ingatall]

Victors First Birthday Story Translation

Big thank you to @valnyte!

// is an alternate translation ----- are breaks i created to pace myself T/N- first time adding pics so ignore how bad it might seem hopefully the translation was good enough! ALSO storyteller/fairytale writer are the same in this story. i just forgot to change it. sorry about the repeat sentences, was rushing this

The dark night was my friend, and death was myself.

I will walk, walk and walk in the dark again today.

And suddenly, I look back.

See, there lies a blood-soaked, happy face of death.

Kate: Victor, Harrison lent me a book the other day. So.........

I handle my responsibilities/job, while Kate takes on the role of a storyteller.

Listening to Kate's stories while working together in the office is becoming a part of my daily routine.

(......You look like you’re having fun. Kate has become a full-fledged member of the Crown, hasn't she?)

Kate: Yes, that's right. It's about Marianne, the maid we discussed the other day.

Victor: Oh, in that case, give her some time off. It's important for her to meet her lover who is far away.

When I conveyed that the matter we discussed has been resolved, she blinked her eyes in surprise.

Kate: Victor, when do you sleep…?

Victor: When?

Kate: I understand you have an overwhelming amount of work. It seems like something I could never handle.

Kate: Even so, you promptly addressed the matter I consulted you about...

Victor: Oh~ Could it be that you're complimenting me? Well, that makes me happy!

Victor: But, unfortunately, even I need to sleep, and as a human, there's a limit to time.

//But unfortunately I sleep, and as long as I'm human, my time is limited.

Victor: Your consultation held an exceptionally high priority, you know.

Kate: …..Thank you, Victor.

Victor: The feeling is mutual. Thank you, Kate, for looking out for the kids working here.

Kate: And... if I'm misunderstanding/wrong, please disregard it.

Victor: ...Huh?

Kate: Victor, was there something that seemed to be bothering you?

Kate: Things that could cloud Victor's heart...

(This one/child truly has a keen eye for people, doesn’t she?)

Honest eyes deserve honest answers.

Victor: Tonight, William and I are embarking on a mission, but it's not a particularly pleasant one, I must say.

There's a story going around about a group that worships Her Majesty the Queen, essentially treating her as a deity.

(People are free to believe in what they want. We, as the Crown, have no right to condemn that. However..)

It appears that this organization kidnaps and imprisons women as idols, and if they are not considered worthy vessels for Her Majesty, they are killed.

//The group is said to kidnap and imprison women as idols and kill them if they are not worthy of Her Majesty.

Victor:  Tonight, we will proceed with the investigation, and if they are found guilty, we will deliver judgment in the name of evil.

//Tonight, we'll intensify the investigation. If they are guilty, we'll bring judgment in the darkness.

Kate: ...Committing murder in the name of their worship.

Victor: Kate, there's a possibility that this mission might not be pleasant for you either. So--

Before I could finish my sentence, Kate responded with a determined look in her eyes.

Kate: Victor, would you allow me to accompany you as a storyteller?

Believing that above all, we should respect her will, that night, we infiltrated the organization's stronghold.

William: Belongings of the missing, bloodstains, and then a body was discovered. There's no way to deny it.

Kate: This case is... deserving of condemnation, isn't it?

//This case is... in black, isn't it?

(Tommy Yeager, a noble. Leah Rodriguez, a legislator. Kevin Nicholson...)

(Quite a lineup/assemblage of influential figures, isn't it?)

In times of insatiable greed, those in power liken the queen to a deity and seem to have wishes they want her to fulfill.

William: Tonight, I can speculate that the ritual is taking place in two locations. Either on the upper floor of this mansion or in the basement.

Victor: I'll go to the basement with Kate. Let's head there immediately to prevent further victims.

Kate: Yes...

William: Victor, how much mercy tonight?

Victor: None needed. Their actions deserve condemnation. Loyalty to your wickedness, William.

Kate, I didn't want to show her too much of the horrific scene, praying that this wasn't the 'right' place…

(Ah, I see. It seems like the basement is the 'right' place.)

In the basement, there was an altar-like structure with flickering candlelight. People wearing masquerade-like masks surrounded the altar, and at its center lay a young girl who seemed barely of age.

(So, that's the 'replacement' for the queen. ...Truly grotesque.)

I noticed a man attempting to lower a candle onto the girl's arm, and without hesitation, I took a step forward.

However, Kate moved before me.

Kate: ............no, stop!

The red-haired man with a mask: W-who is this girl! Let go, let go...

Kate: Please stay away from her!... Kyaa!

It happened in an instant, and Kate, who was pushed away, collided with the altar and collapsed on the spot.

Victor: Kate...? Kate...?

(It's okay, she's breathing. She just passed out...)

---In the moment of her collapse, something seemed to have rolled and fallen near Kate.

(...Ah, this is...)

*******FLASHBACK*****************

Victor: Kate, tonight you were supposed to accompany Elbert and Roger on a mission.

Kate: Yes, I'm not used to it yet, so I hope I won't be a hindrance.

Victor: I see. Then, take this.

Kate: A cameo hairpin?

Victor: May it protect you from danger.

Kate: Hehe, it feels reassuring that you've always been there to protect me.

Kate: Thank you, Victor! I'll be going now.

*******FLASHBACK ENDS********************

(...The thing I gave you when you first came to the Crown, isn't it?)

With closed eyes, Kate and the girl lying on the altar, and those who had died, the reasons for not holding back tonight were ample.

Red-haired masked man: Hah, because you disturbed our sacred ritual!

Black-haired masked man: Hey, wait... This gentleman...

Black-haired masked man: Isn't that Lord Victor?

Freckled masked man: Really! Why is His Excellency, the right hand of the queen, here?

While looking at the eerie individuals with masks, focus is on one of them.

Victor: You're the one who pushed this girl, aren't you?

Red-haired masked man: Y-yes... It was me, Lord Victor.

Victor: As I command you. Pledge your allegiance to evil.

//Let it be commanded in the name of death. Now, it's time for death to come for you.

The man's eyes gaze into the void, and his expression becomes euphoric.

Red-haired masked man: Ah... It feels so wonderful. I... I...

The man reaches for his own neck and tightens it, ending his life.

Black-haired masked man: He's... dead...? Why did he... commit suicide...?

Looking at the bewildered men, I focus on one.

Victor: ...Starting from the right, say your names.

Black-haired masked man: Tommy Jaeger... Ugh...

Another death command.

Freckled masked man: Leah Rodriguez. Ah, I... Ah!

Another death command.

Finally, what remained was silence and the serene faces of those who died, as if having beautiful dreams.

William: Is it settled? It seems I won't have a chance to step in.

Victor: Yes, Will. The 'target' was here.

//Yes, Will. The correct location was here.

William: As always, they seem happy in death. As if invited by a god.

(A god, huh?)

As if emphasizing that "Queen Majesty" is not a god.

Victor: ......Humans can never become gods.

William: If you say so, it must be true.

William quietly smiles and lifts the girl on the altar.

William: This girl is mine. I'll leave Kate to you.

William: Considering your anger, it seems Kate is involved.

Returning to the castle, Kate was examined by Roger, and he mentioned that she would wake up soon.

Gently placing the unconscious Kate on her bed.

(Kate. I'm truly relieved that nothing happened to you.)

While looking at Katel's face, I recall the night we first met.

I suggested the position of a fairytale writer to her, partly on a whim,

and partly because I expected it to bring change to the Crown.

Although they are different types, all the Crown members are strong.

That's why I believe that "change brought on by others" is necessary.

People become stronger with the presence of others.

(That change will guide those children to even more beautiful evil/wickedness, I thought.)

I watched Kate from a distance, or at least that was the plan,

(You, without me realizing it, seemed to have brought change to me as well.)

As William said, when Kate was hurt, anger surged within me.

Vividly, truly... human-like emotions

(When you're around, I feel like I'm pulled from being a spectator to being involved.)

(But)

Gently placing the cameo hairpin back in Kate's hair

(No matter how cute you are, I must remain "Assistant to the Queen Victor," by your side as a guardian)

(Beyond that or less than that is not allowed)

//(Not more, not less)

Because if not, my darkness, death, would engulf/swallow her.

I give her hair a gentlemanly kiss.

Victor: Consider it a bad dream of one night and forget everything. Nightmares and death won't chase after you because of me.

Victor: ...Goodnight, Kate.

The next day, when Kate woke up, she rushed to apologize to me.

Kate: I'm sorry, Victor. It's because I rushed out without thinking...

(Don't worry, even if I say not to, you'll still worry.)

//(Don't worry, even if you say that, you'll still be concerned.)

(Oh, that's right. If that's the case,)

Victor: Kate, why don't we have lunch together?

Victor: Ah, today was a lonely lunchtime for me, so I'm glad you're here.

Kate: Is this to make up for last night?

Victor: Of course. Sharing a delicious meal with someone is one of my joys.

Kate: Hehe, then I'm relieved.

(Oh, finally your wonderful smile is back.)

--Suddenly, a fine rain starts to fall above us.

Victor: It's just a passing shower. Kate, come here. Let's go to that gazebo over there.

Kate: Y-yes...

(Well, that surprised me. London's rain is so unpredictable.)

Victor: Kate, are you okay—

Before I could ask, Kate wiped my cheeks with her own palm.

Kate: I'm fine. Besides, Victor...

Victor: ............

Kate's palm, which is more concerned about me getting wet than herself, is incredibly gentle.

It's like rain falling softly from a clear sky, and it once again brings change to my heart.

Kate: Besides, Victor...

Kate: There's something Liam wanted to give you. He was searching, saying he had to give it to you yesterday.

(Oh...)

Victor: Yesterday was my birthday.

Kate: ......Eh?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kate: Eh!?

She seems to be the most surprised she's ever been since we met, making me laugh.

(It was just going to make her worry, so I didn't plan on revealing it myself.)

Kate: I'm sorry. I didn't know, and I didn't prepare any presents...

Victor: Haha, it's okay. I already bought it, Kate.

Kate: ?

Victor: Yesterday, you spent the entire day with me.

Victor: I wanted to respect your will, but deep down, I may have also wanted the childish desire for you to be with me on my birthday.

Victor: ...So, thank you, Kate.

Kate smiles and looks up at the sky, where the rain has stopped.

Kate: ...Hey, Victor. I'll become stronger, more and more.

Victor: Why is that?

Kate: I'm sure you'll protect me from something again. But... even if I'm weak...

Kate mutters that there are many things in this world that she doesn't need to know.

And she adds, "But, if it's you, Victor, I want to know everything. And..."

Kate: When you're going through a tough time, I don't want to just laugh and pretend I didn't know anything.

She laughs and looks at me, captivating me with those words.

Crown and I were changed, not just because of the changes she brought.

Kate herself is changing, becoming more beautiful with every blink.

(...She's like a spring storm)

I wonder if, one day, I'll be caught up in this storm and reveal the truth to her.

(But, for now)

Victor: Don't hurry too much to become strong, Kate. I might get lonely.

(Just a little longer, like this)

[jals-stuff]

Hihi! First of all I LOVE your writing and thank you for feeding us hungry Orter fans with your work (I have been STRAVING for his fic) so if you don't mind, I have a little request! So I imagine in a what if Orter has a crush on someone (aka us and ofc we gotta like the sandman back) who's always on a dangerous mission due to how strong they are who is ALSO his partner time to time and one day, they just went into a coma from overusing their magic. MAYBE when they woke up, the two will confess to each other or?? Idk I will let you cook 🧑‍🍳

(Sorry if my wording is a little confusing!)

good day/evening anon! your wording is just fine no worries

first of all, thank you SO much, this brightened my day by a lot, you have absolutely no clue what kind of serotonin torrent you have unleashed. I am glad at least some people like my writings, that's why I'm doing it.

I don't think this is 100% close to what you described, but I hope you'll like it regardless-

Should be gn!reader if I didn't mess it up...

warnings: SLIGHT SPOILIES, bit dark, mentions of death, bit of despair... not proofread I am so sorry.

word count: 2.8k

note: I apologise for any dumb mistakes because I physically cannot proofread myself at 6am but if I don't post it now I won't do it ever. please don't hate me anon

What if...

As much as he hates to admit it (to himself, of course), Orter had grown a little bit too fond of you. The way you greet him whenever you come back from a mission, or the way you always make sure to respect the rules and act logically while also protecting everyone around you when the two of you would go on missions together. 

The way you whine when your legs are tired after walking long distances, the way you always bring him a little something to eat when you know it’s going to be a long trip. You’ve always been good to everyone, much opposed to the cold man; but it wasn’t the only difference between the two of you.

Everyone has their own logic and, as much as you respected your own, his was quite different. While you wanted to take every single possibility into consideration, he preferred not to overload his mind with useless statistics and just think of a solution when the time comes.

However, a lot of things aren’t affected by logic, such as feelings, and how could the dense sandman guess that you were absolutely enamoured with him? These were variables he would’ve never imagined, even though he was painfully into you as well. 

Of course, he was your top priority, and protecting him from harm even though he was a rather powerful mage was of the utmost importance. He should’ve known that when the two of you recklessly charged into enemy territory in an attempt to weaken the devil’s quintuplets before they would be on the move.

Orter was a man of many things, but “what if''s were not part of his usual reasoning, and that was the biggest mistake of his life. However he only realised it too late when you had to break your own limits to make sure he’d go back safely. It was time to retreat, but the two of you had been completely cornered. 

Having a dormant god inside of your wand had many benefits, but Psyche was not an entity to be trifled with. The Soul Goddess would, each time you requested even a fraction of her power, take a huge toll on your stamina and sanity, and this time it was more than critical.

You were already exhausted from using so much of your mana, and now you were completely surrounded by Innocent Zero's sons. Unleashing your Psyche Inclination and ordering all of the quintuplets to sleep immediately surpassed your own boundaries.

You knew what would happen if you pushed beyond your limits with your personal magic, but it was completely worth it. After all, what was the point of living anymore if the only person you loved was dead? 

All of them were immensely powerful, and neutralising such strong enemies was not a meagre task. As soon as the last one fell to the ground in blissful slumber, you felt something rupture inside of you; like a used rope that suddenly lets go, your breath hitched and you collapsed to the floor. 

It was all pitch black, and your consciousness kept you company just long enough to let you hear Orter’s panicked voice calling out for you. Yet somehow, despite the fact that you were falling into the pitch-black abyss, you felt relieved that he, above everything and everyone, was safe.

But anything beyond the confines of your darkened mind was unknown to you and despite your multiple attempts to open your eyes and wake up, everything went silent.

“No, no no…”

Had you been awake, you would’ve been astonished at how Orter had never been that distressed before, at least not in front of you. The loss of his dear friend Alex Elliot had taught him a painful lesson not to get attached to anyone and to simply stick to the rules, but he had let himself fall for you, and now he was experiencing the trauma once more.

“Please, no… not them…” 

Not only were you unconscious, you had done this to yourself for his sake. He was aware of that fact; had you not decided to literally put yourself through such an ordeal, the two of you would be dead already.

But unlike his deceased junior, your heart was still beating and there was still time to save you. He had never run so fast in his entire life, carrying you carefully in his arms to bring you back to the Bureau’s infirmary, laying you down as gently as he could as the nurses rushed to assess your state.

You weren’t hurt, so to say, but the abusive usage of your personal magic had plunged you into a coma, and it was unsure if you would ever wake up from it. 

It looked like you were peacefully asleep, maybe dreaming of a better place you would possibly join soon; unmoving and slowly breathing, as if nothing had happened. Orter knew you could possibly open your eyes anytime, and it kept him distracted every time he would fill his paperwork or go on a mission.

Whenever he had free time, he would rush to the infirmary to check on you, make sure you’re still breathing, or even talk to you. It could help you come back to your senses, or so the nurses said, and as ridiculous as he felt when he talked to your inert body, he would’ve done anything in his power to bring you back, as slim as the chances were.

But then it suddenly hit him. What could he possibly tell you if you ever woke up? He would for sure apologise, but other than that? How could he face you after you had quite literally sacrificed yourself for him? He wasn’t even sure he could look into your eyes again.

Did you resent him for this?

Would you forgive his recklessness?

Would you give him this warm smile he had gotten so used to?

And would it be time for him to finally admit his feelings? You were right here, in front of him, yet you weren’t there. He missed you so dearly, the sound of your voice, the shit eating grin you’d give him whenever he was wrong and you were right, the way you’d laugh at his disgruntled expression afterwards…

All of these interactions he thought annoyed him were now severely missed and he would’ve given anything to even just see the colour of your eyes one more time. 

And see he didn’t, for what seemed to be an eternity. Everyday, when he’d come to visit you, a small part of him hoped your eyes would be open and you’d greet him the way you always did, but every time, he was met with your inanimate form, comfortably laid in the infirmary bed. 

His hope of hearing your voice ever again gradually vanished with every one-sided conversation he had with your unconscious figure, swallowing down his emotions with every word he said. He was slowly accepting the fact that you might just never open your eyes again.

The more this thought settled into his mind, the more desperate he grew, and suddenly, his usual mindset faded away and his brain filled with “what if”s. 

What if he had taken some time to listen to your suggestions, what if he had thought of a plan B like you always had? What if he had ever told you about his feelings, what if you loved him back? What if you didn't? What if you never woke up?

Dread took over on his other emotions and suddenly, it wasn’t hope that drove him to visit you everyday; it was despair. What if you never opened your eyes again? How could he ever live with your presence replaced by this horrifying feeling of guilt for letting you die in his place? 

You were surely powerful enough that you could’ve ran away on your own, and left him behind if needed; it would’ve been the logical, reasonable thing to do. But the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. Of course, he should’ve known that you would never leave him behind, but precisely because it was completely illogical, it never occurred to him that you would willingly let yourself be hurt if he had a chance to make it out alive.

Now he was sitting at your bedside and kept hoping you’d wake up, just open your eyes and talk to him, greet him and say everything was going to be fine, just the way it was before… it seemed like he hadn’t heard your voice in an eternity, and it was weighing on him the whole time. Like a burden he would have to carry forever if you didn’t wake up from this coma you had put yourself into for his own sake.

His eyes never left your figure as he spoke to you kindly, as if you were still awake. Of course, occasional visitors would look at him like he was a lunatic, talking to someone who was obviously not here to answer, but it didn’t matter to him anymore.

Orter was ready to abandon his image for your sake, sometimes even skipping work and breaking his own principles so he could hold your hand for another minute before going on yet another perilous mission. 

The thought of you dying peacefully in your sleep haunted his mind every single day, and his sorrow was great enough that, more than once, he did consider exhausting himself enough so he would be defenceless enough for an enemy to just take him out of his misery.

For weeks, months, his mind was plagued with the thought of you leaving him forever, of not being able to tell you about these feelings he thought were completely unnecessary. Shame and rejection didn’t even matter to him anymore and he just longed for the day you’d wake up and even just look at him. 

He was on a mission, the day he heard that one of your fingers had merely twitched. Breaking protocol was far from his usual behaviour, but he needed to see you. That is how he accidentally drowned an entire area in sand, catching both enemies and harmless monsters in his Antlion’s Nest. 

The rules didn’t matter to him anymore, it was a physical need to see if you were okay and to maybe, just maybe hear your voice. 

However, he walked in on something completely different. Many of the other Divine Visionaries were gathered around you in religious silence, observing you. He had to push through the crowd and his heart stopped for a second when he saw you. 

You were sitting up in your bed, slightly confused as to why everyone was staring like this. For you, mere seconds had passed but in reality it had been literal months. As your eyes travelled amongst the crowd, you saw Orter, who was also staring at you in utter disbelief. 

The infirmary was completely silent, and no one was moving, as if time had suddenly stopped. Ryoh threw a glance at the others and they just silently left. Now it was just you and Orter, looking at each other in both confusion and shock. He stumbled towards the chair that was resting near your bed and he slowly took a seat.

“Well… you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Upon hearing your voice, he let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. It was like all of his burdens were suddenly lifted off his shoulders and his head and arms simply collapsed against the mattress, much to your confusion. You raised your hand to reach for his hair and upon seeing how your nails had grown so much, you realised something probably happened.

“It’s been months! I thought you’d never wake up! I thought I wouldn’t hear your voice ever again. Why on Earth would you do such a thing? No, no... it was all my fault. I'm sorry, (Y/N), I'm so, so sorry.” 

He sounded angry, but he really wasn’t. You started connecting the dots and it took you a bit of time to understand that you had been unconscious for the past few months, worrying the poor sandman to death, though right now it didn’t matter at all. 

“I’m glad you’re alive, Orter.”

Although you had been unconscious for literal months, seeing the Desert Cane unharmed was such a huge relief for you. However, not everything was swell inside his mind. He still felt extremely guilty that you nearly died for him, and nothing could possibly pay back this humongous debt he thought he owed you. 

But seeing his relieved expression when he looked at you was enough of a payback. He had watched you wither away for months and now you were finally back to the world of the living, eyes focused on him and him only. 

You tried to stand up but as soon as your arms attempted to lift your form, they gave out and you started losing balance. Orter immediately stood up from his chair to catch you, wrapping his arms around your now weak body to support you, but even after you were back to your spot, he wouldn’t let go. He simply sat on your bed next to you, not letting go. 

Almost out of instinct, you rested your head on his shoulder and let out a long sigh, your arms raising up slightly.

“Please, just rest, you must be really exhausted.”

But his words just didn’t reach you, you needed this. After a while and a lot of effort, you managed to rest these weak arms of yours against his shoulders, on the sides of his neck, and he fell silent. You had no strength at all but he could feel you use all of your willpower to embrace him, and you also seemed like you wouldn’t let go.

He seemed fine with it as he slightly nuzzled your neck and closed his eyes, finally relaxing a little after this emotional rollercoaster. It felt so comfortable to finally be in his arms after such a long time spent longing for him, as if you were finally where you belonged. 

“I missed you.” Orter said quietly, close to your ear. His arms tightened around and you would've probably cried hadn't you been so exhausted. Your words were stuck in your throat and you could only nod and hum softly, your voice cutting inside your throat. 

His arms tightened around you further, holding you into a comforting hug, one of his hands gently going through your hair and keeping your head close to him. You exhaled again, wanting nothing more than to keep holding him. 

“Just don't let go. Please.”

Your voice was muffled by his embrace but you were close enough to his ear for him to understand your words, and you could've sworn you heard his breath hitch for a second as his arms tightened even harder around you.

“I won't.” He sighs into your neck, comfortably seated on the side of your bed, and you wanted nothing more than to lay back down and have him hold you, but you were still in the infirmary and it would've been very problematic to be seen like this.

“I won't, ever. I can't.” He held you even closer now, like he was trying to merge with you, your chest and his pressed against each other as if to share your heartbeats.

Although you had never seen Orter being this close with anyone before, it all felt very natural. Just like the way his hand slid from your hair to your cheek, like the way he moved away from you slowly, his usually cold gaze now soft and filled with something you weren't quite used to.

Just like the way he couldn't take it any longer and gave in to the physical urge to softly press his lips to yours. You didn't pull away, of course; the moment too precious to let surprise ruin it. 

You returned the kiss, your eyes now closed to take in the pleasant, wholesome warmth his embrace brought to you, after you'd been so cold for literal months. 

As nothing lasts forever, your lips and his slowly separated, but his eyes were now on yours again. 

“I won't let you fall again, (Y/N), I promise.”

You couldn't help but give a soft chuckle and his expression turned slightly puzzled. Of course, you two didn't share the same braincells.

“I've already fallen too hard.” You breathed out.

His eyes widened for a second before he regained his composure and brushed a few hairs away from your face to place them behind your ear.

“Then I guess we’re both down now.” he finally admitted, his expression just a little softer and his lips almost curved into a smile. 

You were suddenly thankful for Orter holding you so close, lest your heart would've jumped out of your chest. 

“I love you, just… in case it wasn't clear enough.” He awkwardly added, and you thought it was just adorable. Another chuckle escaped you with a nod.

“I know. I love you too.”

He hummed softly and sighed deeply in relief. 

That was one “what if” finally satisfied, and probably the first of a long list.

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

POLL TAG- FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS

tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist.

Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite.

I am choosing to limit myself to BL characters because otherwise we'd have a Will Graham (an unhinged FBI profiler in Hannibal) vs Yu Ji Ho (the boundary-respecting pharmacist single dad in One Spring Night) vs Bart (the Universe-appointed holistic assassin in Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency) vs Benjamin Sisko (the legendary single dad and captain of the space station in Star Trek Deep Space Nine) type of situation going on.

The Spiel - IN DEFENSE OF MY FAVES

Nozue (Old Fashion Cupcake)

Everyone's favorite boss with a heart of gold, this 39yo repressed hottie could flirt like a pro. My favorite thing about him is that he experienced utterly transformative character growth without having to experience severe pain (a breakup, a loved one's death, job loss, rejection, etc). He just looked at where he was standing and... stepped left.

Kakeru (I Cannot Reach You)

My boy learned his childhood bestie had a crush on him and did not flee in terror. Instead he faced it and asked for patience and examined his feelings and treated the potential change in their relationship as seriously as it deserved to be treated because the request came from someone he loved. Clearly, this is a boy who knows how to spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Wei Qian (Unknown)

He stepped up and raised his younger sibling when their druggie mother died, then added an adoptee into the mix. And he cared for them so profoundly that they had relatively normal childhoods despite being orphans. Yet this softie was tough enough to be a gang enforcer, and then smart enough to get a college degree, and then competent enough to co-create a successful startup. Like what kind of super hero bullshit is he on?

Karan (Cherry Magic, Thailand)

A competent and talented employee, and he's a total simp who looks great in or out of a suit? Sign me up for his tender loving care, y'all. I literally melted into a puddle of goo every time we saw a glimpse of his very earnest yet sweet fantasies. He just wants to take care of his boo!

Iwanaga (Love Is Better The Second Time Around)

I confess he's here mostly because he's eye candy. (Well that and recency bias, because if we're really talking about my favorite eye candy, it'd be Porsche from Kinnporsche without a second's hesitation.) But roll with me here, please? This man can fuck! And fuck so well he pissed off the love of his life! And all the men in town are dropping for him like flies. They get one hint of a taste of his juice and they're down bad! They're hooked. They're his. He is legendary. He is epic. He knows how to work his angles and his puppy dog eyes! And he's also talented and wealthy and considerate to boot.

***

Most of my mutuals have probably played already, but if you care to go again or want an excuse to play by different rules, please consider yourself tagged. Also I'm tagging some of you just in case you haven't done it yet because tbh I haven't been paying that close of attention to my dash this week: @absolutebl, @syrinth, @dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you, @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @chickenstrangers, @thequeenofsastiel, @tiggymalvern, @spicyvampire, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @twig-tea, @telomeke, @guzhu-furen, @gunsatthaphan, @lymeandcoconut, @itwoodbeprefect, @shortpplfedup

[ixhika-jsx]

BLACK SWAN- ✧˖°BTS Challenge - 𐙚

Main concept: of this challenge is that I have to bring my passions back to life that died long ago

Bit inspired by @zzzzzestforlife 🍾🫶🏻

As in song's lyrics of 'black swan'

"If this can no longer resonate, no longer make my heart vibrate, then like this may be how I die my first death."

[ You can reblog this post and start this challenge by yourself after adding your own goals under the reblogged post of yours... :)) ]

[ Academics:- ᥫ᭡🎐

As to bring back my interest in studies there are some goals of mine and some tips (I am referring myself as 'you' as some external force for myself) 🎀

☆ By the mid of September you must be on track in academics - complete notes and zero backlogs , regular revision ! 📄❕️❕️

☆ 📌 Complete pw modules till December

☆ work on weak chapters🗯 - relation and functions , trigonometry , periodic classification and topic electronic configuration of chapter - 2 of chemistry 💨

☆ listen to podcasts like 'ACADEMIC VALIDATION'🗒and 'YOUR A+ LIFE'📈 while studying mathematics. (As I kinda not get maths yk )

☆ study along with study vloggers - 'STUDY WITH ME' 🩰 because it helps when you find a 'partner' in studying.

☆ Have a mindset that you are not a student but you are a employee working for a greater position in your job or for greater income....🏷 which means position- topper or sum and income - grades ⏳️

☆ while studying physics you should use whiteboard 📇cuz I know it gets boring at times so yea

☆ for chemistry I would say that read books and make pretty pretty notes 🪄 and if you still can't study it then just watch some study vlogs and restart 🎲 (it helps me sometimes)

☆ study computer science chapter of - 'PYTHON' 🖥 whenever you get time as of getting mind off STEM subjects

[ Workout :- ᥫ᭡ 🎳

☆ I know it's not easy getting off bed but just use 1-2-5 minute rule 🎗

-stand up for 1 minute and drink some water

- start off with some stretching next for 2 minutes

- do 4 plank sessions in 5 minutes or any other favourite exercise move of yours

(This is my concept btw) And this will help about 70 percent to actually get you up.🥊

☆ do pilates in case you don't feel like exercising⛳️

☆ do 'lazy' stretching either before sleeping ot after sleeping.🎯

☆ walk minimum 6k steps a day♠️

[ Hobbies/Extra curricular :- ᥫ᭡ 🎱

☆ subscribe/follow to multiple dance pages so you automatically get the urge to dance🪀

☆ watch your idol dancing...it helps🧩

☆ dance atleast twice a week no matter what , even if you have to force it. It will individually get better if you were some day passionate bout it once.👯🏻‍♀️

☆ start writing your incomplete book by visualizing the scenes of the book...may help sometimes🖇

☆ during breaks from studies play basketball even for 5 minutes... put your phone away and walk around with your basketball around you then you will automatically feel the urge.🏀

☆ take part in school activities as much as you can....I get it that there is lot of academic work but it shouldn't stop you from being an all rounder🏆🏅

[ Social :- ᥫ᭡🥂

☆ cut people off...yea exactly CUT THEM OFF !! Lot of people don't really deserve you. You know who those people are.🌬

☆ don't get too comfy with some people. I get it that its your nature but keep that aside rn because it can be pressuring your self respect.🛑

☆ cut off atleast 3 people this year (atleast)💬

☆ don't be too kind to endure every other 'tease' of thiers. No this degrades your self respect and standards✋🏻

☆ if they are constantly mean then cut them off or just give them what they deserve(be the karma).🗣

☆ be as much confident as you can.you know nothing is cringe.... your definition of cringe is limiting you from your potential.🧭

So this is it for this challenge. I will regularly add more goals if needed and keep on updating my process.

You all are free to join :))🍾💐

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

how do you keep your faith even while such horrific things are going on in palestine? i've been a christian all my life and i understand that the question of why god allows suffering is one that people have always been asking, that we can never really know the answer to, but it's just so hard for me to see things like this, all of these innocent people being terrorized and murdered in such evil ways, and understand why god can't stop it from happening. in church we pray for both israel and palestine and it feels so pointless, and just makes me frustrated that i can't actually do anything to stop this. especially knowing that even bethlehem, the place of jesus's birth and home to many palestinian christians, is being attacked and churches are being bombed. it seems pretty clear that the people committing these atrocities are never going to open their hearts and stop, and the world leaders who would have the power to make them stop either don't care or directly support them. i do not want to believe that god doesn't exist, or that god would just sit by and watch all of this happen if it were possible to stop it, but it's such a struggle at times like this. i feel like it shouldn't be and like i should've had this figured out by now. it's okay if you don't answer this, i just love your blog and have learned a lot from it over the years, and am incredibly saddened by the state of the world right now.

Hey there, anon. I feel with you and stand with you in your struggle. I also gently suggest you work on letting go of the sense that you "should" have this figured out by now. Firstly because learning to release myself from "shoulds" is something my therapist taught me and it's been super helpful for showing myself love; secondly because I believe it is deeply, deeply faithful to ask these questions, to demand to know where God is in the face of evil — not just once, but continuously across our lives.

If at any point we think we have it "all figured out," if we think we've reached a fully satisfying solution to the problem of how a good God could "let" evil things happen, we're more likely to be numbed by fatalism or become complacent in the face of injustice. As Rabbi Jonathan Sacks (may his memory be a blessing) put it when asked why God lets bad things happen to good people,

“God does not want us to understand, because if we ever understood, we would be forced to accept that bad things happen to good people, and God does not want us to accept those bad things. He wants us not to understand, so that we will fight against the bad and the injustices of this world, and that is why there is no answer to that question.”

Ask the questions. Bring all that you feel — your grief, your confusion, your frustration, your doubt, your fear — to God. Study and pray and converse with others.

And while you're doing all that, and accepting that it'll be a lifelong exploration, act.

Let your love, your words, your actions be the divine response to injustice — because for whatever mysterious reason, God chooses to act through us, through all who follow Their call to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly" (Micah 6:8).

___

So yeah, I can't tell you why God doesn't just jump in and stop the evil, why God seems to limit Their own power to intervene (or even to lack that power to begin with), why God respects our free will even when we misuse it to such great harm (though you can see the bottom of this post for places to explore all those questions).

But I can tell you where I believe God is in the midst of all the questions, all the loss, all the suffering — and that's not on some lofty throne indifferently observing our pain; God is right there in the midst of that pain.

Where is God in the face of hate, violence, death? God is co-suffering with us, shouldering the burden with us.

In Exodus 3:7, God says They don't only see the enslaved Hebrews' misery, don't only hear their cries, but that They know the people's suffering — an intimate knowing, as of one who experiences it themself.

In Matthew 25, Jesus tells us that when humanity fails to welcome the stranger, visit the prisoner, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, comfort the oppressed, we fail to do those things for him — for he identifies so intimately with all whom the world calls "least" that he is one with each and every one of them.

So I don't know why God doesn't just fix everything, dammit! — it's the first question I'll be asking Xir when I die, because wtf!!

But I do believe, and I do draw some comfort knowing, that God does not leave us to suffer alone. God is one with the oppressed; God shows ultimate solidarity to the oppressed; and God acts with each of us who act for and with and as the oppressed.

And the good news in the midst in this horror is that there are things that all of us can be doing to act in solidarity with the oppressed!

Our efforts truly are making a difference. Politicians and whole governments across the globe have been startled by the resistance to pro-Israeli propaganda and solidarity with Palestine. The change is slow, but our protests are making an impact. Palestinians have been asking that we keep protesting, boycotting, educating, spreading the word. Because it is helping, slowly but surely.

As long as Palestinians refuse to give in to despair, we too must continue to fight. Palestine will be free. We will not stand silent as genocide occurs.

Boycott as many of the companies named by BDS as you can. Notice that they're focusing on a narrower, more targeted group of companies than some of the enormous lists people keep sharing — that's to help us avoid becoming overwhelmed! So boycott what you can from their list; these are the companies directly contributing to Israel's violence. And spread their list to anyone you can.

If you live in a country with a government that has yet to join the call for a ceasefire — and especially if you, like me here in the US, live in a country that is actively funding/otherwise supporting Israel's violence — call or email your representatives to demand a ceasefire.

Resistbot can help make that easy, in the US at least.

Educate yourself about the history of Palestine and Israel. It's important so that you can recognize lies and propaganda, and also so you can speak knowledgeably about the issue with others. It's also important because understanding and simply bearing witness are two big things Palestinians ask of us. You don't need to know everything, but know enough to bear witness, to remember the loss, and to debunk bullshit when you see it.

Here are some places you can get educated — link to free ebooks; article on current events; article with current perspectives from Gaza; and I've been reblogging news & resources as I see them over on @a-queer-seminarian

Post about what Gaza is going through on social media!! Don't let the fight die down! Talk about it with friends or others you think might be swayed to join the fight if they had the information that most media stations are failing to report on.

Stand up against Islamophobia in all forms.

Stand up against antisemitism in all forms. As Christians, this includes recognizing and uprooting supersessionism in our biblical interpretation, our liturgy, our hymns, etc. It also means learning about Christian Zionism.

One of Israel's primary arguments for the "necessity" of its oppression of Palestine is that Israel is necessary because nowhere else on earth is safe for Jews. They're right that nowhere else is safe for Jews; but they're wrong that Israel is safe for Jews — an settler-colonialist state, a war zone, a state that requires every civilian to serve some time in the military, is not safe for Jews either. But as long as they can point to the antisemitism rampant across the globe, they can use that as an argument. So to counter Israel, and much more importantly to stand in solidarity with Jewish people across the world, don't let antisemitism go unchecked.

Join in protests in your area. Follow Jewish Voices for Peace or Jews Against White Supremacy for info on such events.

Link to places to offer fin.ancial support

Want more ways to act? Check out https://www.palestineaction.org/

___

There is no easy answer to the question of suffering — but even so, it can be helpful to explore it deeper, to examine what conclusions others have drawn over the eras. If you want some resources for your wrestling, here are some:

This post goes into the basics of theodicy, the "the intellectual effort to jerry-rig three mutually exclusive terms into harmony: divine power, goodness, and the experiences of evil"

Then there's my #theodicy tag where I put all posts / links about this issue

I also have a long-ass YouTube video diving deep into "the problem of suffering"!

___

I hope this response brings you comfort and courage, friend. Don't be afraid of questions, of grief, of concern — let them galvanize you for the struggle. Solidarity forever <3

[daphnebowen]

descendants rise of red thoughts

warning: these are probably nonsensical and just a lot of confusion/venting/random excitement?? but enjoy regardless:

I'm glad that they explained jay, evie, and mal's absence right off the bat 

Uma and mal's relationship >>>

Not me bawling my eyes out already at the mention of Carlos, we all know uma's tears were china's tears 😭😭

Wonderland is GORGEOUS

"DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER" WHERE THE ANGELS USED TO BE

this fight scene is so unrealistic 

LUCIUS MALFOY?!?! (nope it's a dupe)

can I just say Kylie is GORGEOUS in red??

MAD HATTER SON SIGHTING AND I LOVE HOW HIS NAME IS MADDOX

who would have guessed she used the hug with Maddox to steal the Time Machine - hmm, not me!!

Brandy is absolutely KILLING IT her voice is majestic 

but where does Chad fit into all of this??? like isn't he the son of Cinderella but he doesn't look like his dad or mom?

the queen of hearts accent is soooo soothing

she (the queen of hearts) reminds me a LOT of Audrey, in her looks, her mannerisms, the way she speaks, her everything, it's kinda crazy 

A MENTION OF CHAD!!! Maybe it's possible! who cares about genetics!!

okay queen of hearts buggy is 🤩🤩

Chloe reminds me so much of evie and red reminds me so much of mal!! this is probably obvious to everyone and on purpose but oh well

WHATS MY NAME REMIXXXXX AHHHH

where's Harry and Gil bro not even a mention of them??? they were uma's best friends bffr

Omg I haven't seen Dara in a lot of other things but she is SLAYING the crazy uliana character 

Chloe running around fixing all the things red's messing around with is so accurate 

WICKED STEPMOM SIGHTING

anyways, the house Cinderella grew up in is soooo accurate to how I pictured it

I don't think poor chloe has ever touched a mop lol

Dara doesn't even sound like herself in this song

THAT EEL FREAKING SCARED ME GAGAHAGAGA IT LOOKS JUST LIKE FLOTSAM AND JETSAM which is probably the point but oh well here I am 

the way my heart DROPPED when she smashed the shoes!!!! 😢😢

oh snap. I did NOT expect red to go there (speaking about the "how did that end up for her?" talking about Chloe's mom) THATS SO AWFUL AND HORRIBLE MY JAW DROPPED

young Cinderella can SINGGGG

Love how they never showed Chloe's feet after she threw her glass shoes into the fireplace 😂 not important but I thought it was funny

love the kid barking and meowing and making Merlin rethink his life choices 

I definitely thought for a second that red was gonna be like "actually, I want to stay in this timeline"

OMG I HOPE THIS WORKS

YESSSS UMAAAA SLAYYYYYY ILYYYY

the costume change for queen of hearts is EVERYTHING

how is Chloe going to explain the broken glass shoes to her mom lol

nothing gets past Uma lol she's ALL KNOWING OUR QUEEN

final thoughts: reaaaalllyyyy wishing we could have brought back more of the og's or even got a little more closure about Carlos and his death. even though I know everyone's moving on and healing and dove especially is distancing herself from Disney and trying to be her own person without that (which, I respect) I still would have liked a cameo, a sort of "passing the torch" thing. without them it kinda was abrupt and strange, but having fairy godmother and Uma definitely benefited the movie. Red and Chloe were definitely well thought out and loveable and relatable characters for me, being a perfectionist myself and having three little troublemaking brothers who want nothing to do with me or my family at all. I feel like there was hardly any real time to get to know the other characters at all though! particularly young Bridget and ella, I definitely would have loved to see more of them. even uliana, although she made such a big impact and interest with her limited amount of screen time, put it to good use and made the most, though I would have wanted more. More backstory between her and Ursula's relationship, perhaps??? Uma and uliana reconciliation?? where is uliana now??? etc etc etc. I feel like the movie was so short there wasn't a ton of time to fully flesh things out and explore the characters and yet the pacing was great for the plot, so I don't know how those two things work together but somehow it felt rushed and yet perfect at the same time?? Like I don't know what they could have added to make it longer. definitely wanted more Uma and fairy godmother banter and updates on all the vks and auradon kids!!! how's Jane!!! ESPECIALLY NOW CARLOS IS NO LONGER WITH US?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? what about Lonnie!! and dizzy and the twins and Doug and Harry and Gil and all those other rascals. good to know Chad's off playing tourney in college and we know mal, Ben, evie, and jay are sailing around the world making amends with other countries and forming alliances. but yeah. overall I was pretty satisfied, obviously I don't think ANYTHING could top the iconic original descendants but I feel like this one did its job. it continued the story and introduced many new characters and a new timeline and plot line that was easy to follow while also leaving room for more and for wanting more. didn't even mention the music but I felt a lot of it was suuuuper repetitive and just this pop thing. where are my ballads!!! my if onlys!!! everything was just like "rotten to the core" or "chillin like a villain" and I wanted some emotional songs. Yes, I love a good pop upbeat song but I don't want an entire movie of them. everyone sang great I think, except I couldn't tell what was real and what was auto tune, but anyways. so yeah, I'd rate this movie a 7.5 out of 10. Pretty decent but still... not the greatest. as to almost be expected without our original cast.

side note: anyone wondering, if Cameron Boyce hadn't passed away, do we think they still would have continued adding on to that original trilogy and storyline or do we think that they would have brought in the new characters and storylines anyway? just a thought, I've always wondering what it would be like if cam hadn't passed. rest in peace xo 💋 

[goodluckclove]

CRIMEEEEEE

TELL ME THE CRIMEEEE

So I think this is from when Sleep Deprived Hangover Man invited the internet to ask them about the crimes they committed as a youth. I will be honest, this is not a super great thing I did. But because the statue of limitation is up and honestly none of the crimes are really - significant? They're just weird. I was an angsty, turbulent, manic youth.

And it turns out, I'm an equally turbulent adult. I tried to list the weird semi-crimes I've done in my childhood, and it sort of turned into a guide on how other young people can kind of break the law and get away with it. Maybe not law. Policy? Yeah, so it's not great and I'm putting it under a read more.

Disclaimer, since this is still technically my author page: I do not think any minor should do most crimes without just cause. Like within the legal system the trouble it could get you in sounds like it could really set you back for a long time. I actually don't even think you should immediately implement my advice across the board without practice and introspection and observation. It's actually a way harder skill to cultivate than people might expect, but if you can it will help you for a long time for things other than crimes.

Ideally you don't do it. If you want to, learn how to tell when the right time to do it would be. Don't make a point to inconvenience people more than you have to, both because that's a nice thing to do, and because it improves the odds of you getting away with it. I need to stop telling young people how to do crimes. Or do I? I don't know. If anyone has questions about my philosophy and experience you can ask and I'll say more.

I am a professional weirdo. Let's do this.

Let's go in a vague order!

I was suspended for terrorist death threats in the third grade. I do not believe this is fully my fault but it is a thing that happened.

I shoplifted a pretty decent amount, but not in a way I think any other youth would find cool. I stole candy and pens. But like GOOD pens.

I used to carry glitter glue on me for the sake of writing poetic phrases on various surfaces

Once I walked into an empty business lobby and moved around some plants and furniture, and then I left. If there was a camera there I probably created a strange story.

I generally trespassed a bunch of places all the time. All the time, straight up. If there was an open door or unattended hall that I wasn't supposed to explore I'm absolutely exploring it and taking whoever I'm with with me. I learned pretty quickly that I was charming enough to pull off being caught and getting myself out of it without any consequence. Literally, if you aren't actively causing trouble and just wandering around someplace you know you're not supposed to be, just tell someone who finds you and asks questions that you're lost and you aren't sure where to go. Like maybe you thought this was a way to the parking garage or the bathroom. Assuming I wasn't stealing, causing damage, or shouting slurs, this has worked for me 100% of the time.

Literally, if you do crimes that aren't crimes, you should practice being genuinely nice

Not fake snarky nice, like actually polite and respectful

You didn't realize you weren't supposed to be hanging out in that lot or in that parking garage. You were just trying to find a place to sit and chill. But yeah, you'll leave.

Yes, in retrospect walking down the lightrail tracks wasn't a safe or practical idea. But you took the wrong train and you genuinely didn't know how to get back and this was the only idea you had. You're just trying to get home. Look, you're even buying a ticket (I like never did that as a youth holy shit)!

a teenager is not going to win a fight with an adult who perceives themselves an authority. I don't think you should do whatever adult authority figures say. I do think that you should learn how to navigate your way out of conflicts within spaces in a way that means you can still use that space

if you break a rule and, instead of fighting, take the honest stance that you didn't mean to do that and, in fact, you actually need help from an Adult Authority Figure for a slightly unrelated thing that doesn't actually matter to you (directions to a place, maybe).

I genuinely just wandered around wherever I wanted and this always, always worked for me. I'm really good at looking confused and like I need help, because most of the time I am actually confused and need help

You are not in a sitcom and being sarcastic and snarky to a person that catches you trespassing will not not to anything but make you think you're cool. They'll still make you leave, and now you can't go back to the place you explored because you're the person that started shit instead of the person who got confused and made a mistake and apologized and left.

Adults in authority positions automatically assume a young person in a place/doing a thing they aren't supposed to do will turn it into a conflict. If you genuinely, honestly respond with respect and curiosity, I almost guarantee you'll get away with it. Fucking say you've never tagged before and you weren't really sure if it was still a crime in a place like this, but you get why the person is upset.

Offer to clean your own tag. Like not ironically. Ask if they have some supplies or if you can come back. Be entirely serious, say you're realizing it wasn't a good idea and you kind of regret it. This doesn't have to be true, but it will rattle a security guard or manager far more than if you call them a fascist.

They might yell still, but if you give them nothing they can justify as a reason to keep yelling at you they're actually going to look like the weirdo to themselves and everyone around them

thesis: misdemeanors are a lot easier to get away with if you are unafraid to look like you're naive and willing to learn and adapt. You might feel like it's a blow to your pride, but in the long run you will be able to do way more questionable shit. i came to this conclusion when I was 14 years old and decided I'd rather do weird shit than have the adult minor authority figures think i'm a peer or a worthy adversary, because neither of those things would happen anyway.

Okay so this just turned into a guide on how to do a misdemeanor. I should say now that there are crimes that are bad. Even tagging, something I truly enjoy, does create more work for employees and sanitation workers. That's frankly why I like ways that are easier to remove than spray paint and postage stickers if it's something you want to do.

And I'm not necessarily pro-shoplifting as, like, a hobby? I don't think it's great, mainly because if you are caught it'll probably lead to you being banned from the store you stole from. Which, if you're young, can be pretty hard to hide from the adults in your life. And the shaming that results from doesn't seem worth whatever you took. I still have a mug I shoplifted from Target, and I am not thrilled that I stole it, because it reminds me of a time in my life when I felt so shitty I decided to steal something to feel in control of a situation. And that sucks.

Compare that to moving furniture in some random office and then walking way. That's so fucking funny and I do not regret doing that at all. Imagine you're looking at security footage and you see that. That's some cryptid shit.

Young people - if you are weirder and nicer about it, the amount of stuff you can do widens extensively and you can potentially confuse adults who work otherwise boring and stressful jobs for a long time to come. Case closed.

[bellaaldamas]

speaking of hel, I always imagined an atreus and angrboda corruption arc involving her death, and since I'm obsessed with the mythology I'd love to see sms take both of them to a more "gray" characterization, just like their counterparts in the mythology.

I'd love to see them doing anything to bring their daughter back, and when they finally can, they're met with the fact that she can't live outside helheim, making the only place where she can have a sort of “normal childhood” and grow older is in the realm of the dead. (I haven't thought about how that would work, I'm just really into the concept of them having to accept that no matter what, their daughter is “gone”)

idk if this makes sense at all

Definitely a possible scenario, if not entirely the one I would hope for myself but would enjoy and embrace if executed right. I admit to my bias regarding mythological references and the idea that mythological accuracy translates to cultural accuracy when it's not the case. As a person of Greek background, my main issue is viewing Greek mythology as a representation of Greek culture and values and rejecting any media that attempts a different approach. Including media that redefines mythology in order to show Greek characters or people of any culture as multi-dimensional persons rather than stereotypes.

In that vein, a common complaint from the non-Greek "progressives" is that Disney's Hercules "makes a mockery of Greek mythology" and therefore is supposedly not a "good representation" when it's actually one of the few positive and respectful cultural representations Disney has ever presented. It treated the characters as individuals with their own complex experiences rather than walking stereotypes: Hercules as a young man craving validation and ultimately realizing social approval is far less important in the grand scheme of things than finding contentment and adjustment in your personal life with an equal partner and loving parents even if they are not your biological family (and even if said biological family parted with you due to forces completely beyond their control). Phil as a disillusioned middle aged male who could have easily remained cynical, bitter and limited his attempts to change his life for the better to harassing random women. But instead chose to reevaluate his views and realize it was up to him, first and foremost, to "go the distance" and be an example for a younger generation of men and boys. And obviously Meg and the Muses who openly discussed the issue of chauvinism and oppression of women. And whose entire storyline smashed the modern "feminism" (which is actually not feminism at all but a repackaged patriarchy in a girlboss form) by highlighting that hating men and rejecting the idea of romantic relationship with them is not "progressive" nor does it make women safe. What is progressive is a woman celebrating her romantic agency and acting on it even if the man she is attracted to might potentially not meet her expectations or prove to be unscrupulous (and if that ends up being the case it would be his fault, not hers; hence why Meg's ex ended up betraying her after she made sacrifices for him whilst Hercules sacrificed just as much for her as she did for him - because people regardless of gender are individuals with agency rather than a function to make anyone's life better or worse).

In that vein, Gow series offering their own take on myths has never been a problem for me. I have a much bigger issue with fandom "progressives" involving Lysandra in their HCs in order to "progressify" her and imply that her being "just" a devoted wife to Kratos was never enough to absolve her of a "Greek doormat proto wife" stereotype. SMS is the main culprit of this perception though because they know their target audience now includes the young leftists who don't go beyond the surface (much like the right wing dudebros). They, thus, would only see Lysandra as a female character whose role was "limited" to being Kratos's "Doormat Dead Wife" (as opposed to the "quirky and feminist Nordic Dead Wife" that was Faye; which is the perception of Faye that dehumanizes her completely and makes me want to defend her even more). Therefore Lysandra needs to be "fixed" and/or be included in assorted "progressive HCs". Again, I hold SMS accountable for that perception to a much greater extent than the fans who just go along with what is shown to them.

Greek women can't win because we have to deal with misogynistic "men of the house" first and then we have to deal with media and progressives trying to "fix" us.

In that vein, what I hope for in the upcoming games is Kratos honestly telling Atreus about both his sister Calliope and about Lysandra. GowR already made a step towards that by having Kratos have a heart to heart with Freya about Calliope but him not mentioning Lysandra to anyone in his current life (and the current timeline) is still problematic.

Notably, that artwork SMS reblogged where Angrboda pays her respects to Lysandra and Calliope by creating an art piece dedicated too them and "including" them in the family feast would be a perfect way to rectify those issues, were such a scene to happen in canon.

Hel's "half-dead" myth reference can absolutely come into play because SMS is known for incorporating myth references but offering their own spin on them (that's the foundation of the Gow series). While I don't necessarily want a "dark arc" for either Atreus and Angrboda, it would definitely be a fulfilling storyline to have Atreus in particular to fight for his family and not repeat any of Kratos's mistakes. I mentioned before that Atreus and Angrboda should mirror the positive aspects of Kratos and Faye's story while avoiding the more problematic ones such as lies and keeping major secrets from one another, even for selfless reasons.

Therefore, Atreus and Angrboda, by being perfectly honest with one another and doing everything to save their daughter together, could break the cycle of problematic parenting that Kratos, Faye and Freya all exhibited at different points and to varying degrees. Their challenges will come from external forces and if they do choose to go a darker route, it would be the route for themselves only, but not for "Hel" (whatever her name would be).

[thefederationfiles]

Uh? Hello?

/click/

Cellbit

Uh, hello? I’m not really sure how to start this... suppose I should introduce myself first, I am Cellbit, the new head archivist of the Federation Census Bureau. Still not entirely sure how I landed this position, but I’m not going to refuse it, a promotions a promotion in my eyes.

I was allowed to pick some assistants to help me out, they didn’t really give me a limit on how many I could pick (that they told me about) but I’ve decide to pick three, from various departments within the federation itself. Roier, from exploration, Fit from the clean-up crew and, Etoiles from security, all pretty chill guys, though sometimes ONE of them can get on my nerves…

But I digress.

My predecessor, Bagi, was a very organised woman, and everything, though weirdly done, is actually rather ordered when you think about it for more than five seconds. However, I personally enjoy audio recordings, if find them easier to listen back to if research is needed. For some strange reason however my usual recording equipment wont work, so here we are! With an old tape recorder I found in the desk here.

Anyways, suppose I should start the recording of the actual statement…

On then!

Statement of Phil… no last name given, regarding how he met his wife. Original statement given 23rd of February, 1934. Audio recording by Cellbit, Head archivist of the Federation, Census Bureau, recorded 27th of October 2023, recording begins.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, why the fuck is HE of ALL people giving a statement, well, consider it a gift! Don’t get so annoyed mate, I only want to repair the relations between us, trust me, just let me tell you my story! It’s a good one.

I first met her when I had supposedly died, I know, very typical of her, but I was just another guy back then! Well, like any self-respecting gentleman, I introduced myself. To say she was confused was an understatement, turns out you’re not meant to be able to speak after death, you’re not even meant to be able to move! Personally, I like to say it was love at first sight, she says, she despised me at first sight. To be fair to her, I was a man who couldn’t die, and her a woman who fed on the dying wishes of men, but plenty of couples have WAY bigger fights when they first meet!

Well, she let me go, I mean she couldn’t really take me, I wasn’t dead. For some reason though, we kept on bumping into each other, always when we were working as well so we could never have a proper conversation. Annoying right? She had to properly prepare the person for consumption, and I always had to get rid of the body! Really hard to flirt when you’re picking up organs that have been thrown against the walls (very messy as well, had to burn that shirt, I liked that shirt…).

To be honest, I always knew that I wasn’t normal, I mean there’s plenty of circumstances I’ve been in where I should’ve died, plenty! I just thought I was a lucky guy, but well, when one survives a hanging, people start to question a bit too much, and well, to put it simply I had to go into hiding! It was rather lonely; I mean don’t get me! It was nice, I made friends with the local crows, they turned into my first murder actually!

Anyways, it was about 25 years or so into this when she visited me, turns out she’d been getting pretty lonely herself! And, well, apparently the other immortal people she knows kept on trying to either fight her or get her to join their own groups, which, just rude! That is not how you get a lady’s attention! So she came to visit since were both so connected with death!

Well, she kept on visiting and eventually I realised everyone who wanted me dead would’ve been dead, so I came out of hiding! That was about 45 years ago, we got married a couple years after and well, you guys know the rest! We started our own group, made a pact with one of the hunts avatars, gotten pretty powerful!

Also I’ve learnt about all the guys and all that, kinda hard not too when you have my job!

Come on now, that’s what you wanted right? A story? A peace offering? Well there you have it! Enjoy, I have a meeting to get too.

/click/

/click/

Well. That was certainly something, I found that statement in the drawers of this desk when I was looking for stationery and thought it a good place to start.

I guess you could say I’m in shock? I mean it really just reassured what I’d already known, I knew stuff existed, I kinda needed too…

Either way, kinda hard to get information on a statement that’s nearly 100 years old, Fit was able to get some information on some serial killings from the 1800’s that he reckons might be related, but I say it’s a bit of a stretch.

/sigh/

Well, better than nothing for the first one! I swear I also heard him talking about an old war buddy…

/click/

[ashrillvenheim]

Awakening Past

Chapter 20

NOTE: I mentioned in the previous chapter my method of limiting myself to the pages I write. Well, in THIS chapter I seem to have FORGOTTEN. The ones that come after if I have stuck more to that rule XD

pairing: Ashley Graham x Leon S Kennedy.

Content: (+18) romance, angst, gore, erotic/suggestive themes at some point, slow burn, violence, action, self-harm, death talk,

If you're a MINOR DON'T keep reading, thank you.

Archive of our own / WORK LIST / Awakening Past Masterlist

prev/next

Narsson drank water for the twelfth time and cleared her throat softly. Here she thought the trip was going to be exciting and she would have a lot to talk about. They'd been provided a private jet for their trip to Norway and Enma would be elated... if Ashley wasn't quiet and impassive as an iceberg. What had gotten into her? She thought about asking him, but then... she remembered their mild confrontation days before, when she told him she was sleeping with Leon. It was definitely normal for her to be angry.

The teacher sighed and got up. 

"I'm going to get something to drink, want some?"

Ashley let out a single grunt of denial and Enma rolled her eyes walking to the back seats of the plane, where Leon, Chris, and Jill were. Redfield saw Narsson's long face and leaned back in the seat.

"Is something wrong, Enma?"

"I don't know what's wrong with Ashley, but she looks like she's carrying a ticking time bomb about to explode."

This time it was Leon who breathed heavily.

"Yes... yesterday... she came home very angry."

The three of them turned to him.

"And do you know why?"

The agent kept sliding his finger across his cell phone, reading the latest news.

"She didn't tell me, but..." he fell silent suddenly, remembering how she undressed in front of him.

"But?" asked Narsson with some impatience.

"She had a date, so whatever it was, something had to go wrong."

Enma's eyes widened in surprise. Ashley had gone on a date? With whom?

"Did I know him?"

"Narsson," Leon's voice was a little dry. "This is not the time for gossip, okay?"

The woman was surprised at the man's blunt tone, feeling a shiver run down her spine. It was as if... he was also irascible about Ashley's situation, had they fought? The truth was, it was burning Leon alive inside that night. The one date night Ashley had and she came back barely an hour and a half after she left. Something went terribly wrong. And from the way she asked him half naked if there was something wrong with her, he could tell it had been something that Dylan had done.

He raised his blue eyes to Ashley's seat in the back and caught her profile looking out the window. When they got back, she would have a little chat with Dylan.

"Ladies and gentlemen passengers, please fasten your seat belts."

Narsson hurried back to her seat next to a mute Ashley and they waited for the plane to land.

*

Time had decided to go against them. They had arrived in Oslo, where one of those rare summer storms would take place and the temperature was lower than they had expected. Even when they arrived at the hotel, they were notified that a polar front and probably snowfall would be coming in the next few days.

They went up to their respective rooms with little more than their carry-on bags, something that Narsson found horribly hard.

"I still don't know how you can travel with so little," said the anthropologist. 

Ashley dropped her backpack in the closet and plopped down on the bed.

"What more do you need than clean underwear, a toothbrush, a bar of soap, and two changes of clothes, huh? All that stuff fits in a bag and you have plenty of room left over."

Enma growled indignantly and Leon laughed softly, aware of the influence he had had on Ashley's attitude. Efficient and simple. Enma grunted at the blonde's response and went to the bathroom.

"I'm going to take a shower before you tell me to use the rain for that too."

Jill laughed and pulled out her things. They split up the rooms, leaving the three-bed side for Jill, Ashley, and Enma, and Chris and Leon the double on the other side of the room.

Ashley turned her head toward the large window and watched the dark clouds beginning to form on the horizon. She didn't mind the cold, in fact, it was pleasant to her in regards to the smells. Winter and autumn were the times when she had the least headaches, as the humidity made them cooler, unlike summer. Her thoughts were lost as she heard the voices of the agents in the background and Leon became aware of her absent air. He was still thinking about what Narsson had asked him on the plane. They were on an official mission and all he could think about was what had happened that night. Ashley hadn't told him anything else and it was eating him up inside. He sighed heavily and tried to think of something else. He glanced at the clock and grabbed his jacket.

"I'm going to go ask what time dinner is." He turned around to head out of the room.

"I'm coming with you."

Leon froze as he heard Ashley's voice and saw her walk past him. The man stood transfixed for a second, where he met Chris' eyes and he gave him a soft affirmation, encouraging him. Kennedy took a deep breath and walked out with Ashley into the hallway.

In the elevator, Leon felt his nerves churning in his stomach and decided to pull out something to chat about before Ashley noticed, although she probably would have already.

"Do you think I can't manage to ask about dinner?"

The soft laugh Ashley let out made the man suddenly calm down.

"I don't trust your Norwegian."

"The receptionist knows English."

"Yes, but the gentleman who works with her doesn't, so what do you do if he attends to you?"

Leon smiled.

 "I trust my sign language skills."

"Well, I don't."

Leon finally laughed and they were silent for a few moments. He thought about it and went to part his lips to ask her about the incident when the metal doors opened at reception. Ashley walked out first and Leon followed with a sigh. She could feel the tension between them since the argument they had at the museum, where he reproached her for only having eyes for Narsson. After that happened about her dinner and they hadn't spoken again. And she didn't like it at all.

She snapped out of her thoughts when they approached the counter and an elderly man served them in Norwegian. Leon turned to Ashley who gave a mocking pat on his chest and struck up a conversation with the man. Leon stood listening to her engrossed, when suddenly his cell phone vibrated. The man took his eyes and attention away from the counter and slid his finger across the messages, seeing a number he didn't know. It was Emily. He arched his eyebrows and opened the notification, not expecting what he saw next.

It was a piece of news. A short, unfocused video of an altercation in a restaurant with a gunman. Leon's thumb paused as he read another message from Connors.

“Tell me it's not Ashie.” 

Leon was struck mute and reflexively clicked on the link to the video. It was barely ten seconds, but in the low quality, he could see a gunman pointing a weapon at some people and one of them was tapping the gun before the shot and then reducing the assailant. It was not clear. It didn't have good quality or good focus. But it had blond hair. And the way to get rid of an assailant with a gun was the same technique he used.

His blue eyes lifted to his companion, who was still chatting with the old man at the hotel, and then he looked back down at his cell phone. Emily had texted him again.

"And?"

He took a second and then typed in the answer. If that video was real, the time Ashley arrived... how agitated she came back... it fit that situation. He told Emily and she replied.

“Has she told you about it?”

“No.” He replied.

“I see...” Connors took several seconds to text her again “maybe it's not her, if she didn't tell you it could just be a fluke.”

Leon knew Emily didn't think so, any more than he did. Because it was too much of a coincidence. But he answered her the same way, trying not to make a big deal out of it and then saying goodbye to her. But now there was already a demon inside him demanding to know what the truth was. His muscles were tense again and his heart was racing as he saw Ashley finish speaking and look for him in the crowd. It didn't take him long to find him and walk towards him.

"They have food service for the rooms, they have dinner here very early."

Leon affirmed without replying and Ashley arched her eyebrows.

"Is something wrong?"

The agent summoned all his training and answered matter-of-factly.

"Yes, the jet lag is killing me and I think I'd like to take a shower before I order dinner."

Ashley didn't doubt his words. She had no indication that he was telling her a lie, so she nodded and turned toward the elevator. Leon watched her walk and his countenance became somewhat more serious. Luck smiled on the man when no one else entered the elevator with them. His mind was going a thousand, still replaying the brief video he had seen, but he wasn't going to mention it to her, that wasn't right. So he opted for what he thought that day when he walked into her house and almost got naked in front of him.

"Ash, what happened that night?"

He heard Ashley's heart skip a beat and turned to look at her.

"And don't tell me 'nothing'."

The blonde sighed, aware that there was little she could hide from Leon at that point, but... she didn't want to tell them about her misfortunes.

"I guess everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong."

That was her answer and, honestly, Leon had expected something more elusive. Even if it was vague, it told him enough about the situation. He clenched his fists.

"Dylan did something to you?"

Ashley could sense the irritated tone of the question and for a moment she felt again everything she went through that night. Everything that made her arrive at Leon's house almost in tears and almost undress in front of him. He had to swallow his breath before answering.

"Why do you care so much? I didn't ask you about Narsson."

There went that little knife again. Leon frowned at his companion's hurtful words, but he didn't hold it against her. He was just being honest.

"Because I care about you, Ash, and... I've seen you down since then."

Those words made Ashley feel guilty for what she had just told him and she sighed to make amends for her defensiveness.

"I turned out not to be his type."

Leon watched her. Wasn't she going to tell him about the armed man incident? Or maybe she wasn't because it hadn't really been her.

"And what was his type?" he asked, wanting to see what else he could get out of her, but he didn't expect Ashley to give him a blunt answer.

"At least not one that could break his arm with her bare hands."

The elevator stopped with a "ding" and Ashley stepped out first, leaving her interrogator behind. She didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to describe the way Dylan looked at her when she took the gunman down, when she almost dislocated his shoulder. She didn't want to tell him about the helplessness she felt when her date had idealized the Ashley who sang drunkenly that last time. A woman eager for romantic affection and with a seductive, mysterious air. That was the image Dylan had had of her. And that was shattered with a simple show of force.

Ashley clenched her fists, holding back the lump in her throat. Even that night she refused to cry out of shame that Leon would hear her. And she still carried a needle in her chest. Was it that hard to like someone in all her ways? She opened the door and walked in with a sigh, followed by Leon, who looked at Chris with a long face. Redfield understood that whatever conversation they'd had, it hadn't improved the situation they were in much.

"Any news?" was all the brunet could say as Ashley jumped into the shower.

"We have to order the food," Leon explained, sitting down in the shared living room. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Ashley grabbed her sleepwear and walked quietly to the bathroom. It definitely hadn't changed a bit and worst of all, he knew she hadn't told him the whole truth. Was she ashamed to tell him? Leon thought for a second and finally growled to himself. How could she tell him about her romantic emotions when he himself lied to her every time she asked him about his? 

God, he was such a jerk.

*

After everyone had cleaned up and made themselves comfortable, they called room service to order dinner. Narsson had been lying in bed from the long trip, so Ashley took over translating the orders. Chris, Jill, and Leon listened to her like children, still amazed by the strange language that sounded alien to them. Ashley managed to tune out a bit by speaking in another language she had so far only shared with Narsson, and a part of her started to feel better when she was done.

When dinner arrived, Enma awoke from her coma and they ate together in the living room. They planned out everything they would do tomorrow at the museum and got a few things in order. Chris and Jill ran down the list to Narsson about the confidentiality of the trip and the half-truth about the BSAA's involvement as a means of security and blah blah blah. They all knew Narsson would end up doing her own thing, so they would make sure to keep an eye on her.

With their bellies full, it didn't take long for them to go to sleep, and although not everyone's mind was at ease, the fatigue of the trip ended up dragging them deep into the darkness of dreams.

*

They had brought a lot of new pieces with them since the last time Narsson came. It was Ashley's second time traveling to Oslo, the first being the year she started paleobiology at Amherst. Her amber eyes swept over the various display cases that protected specimens of the fossils found by Narsson early in her career as an archaeologist. Through the glass, she saw the three agents prowling the hallway with watchful eyes, on the lookout for any movement. She noticed Leon looking at some old bronze pieces and for a few seconds she remembered their conversation in the elevator. He knew perfectly well that he was hiding part of the truth from her, he was no fool, but at least he had been considerate enough not to bring up the subject again. At least for now.

"Narsson, long time no see."

A male voice sounded next to her speaking in Norwegian and Ashley saw a man hug her former tutor.

"It's been a while, Professor, do you remember my student? Well, she's graduated, she's not my student anymore," smiled Enma pointing to Ashley, who shook the man's hand.

"Of course I remember you, young lady. How's your Norwegian?"

Ashley smiled broadly. 

"Much better, sir."

The professor arched his eyebrows in surprise and clapped his hands proudly.

"Impressive."

Graham felt a great satisfaction come over her as the three of them began to chat and this time she actually managed to follow the conversation.

As the three of them chatted, Leon watched Ashley get into her sauce. Chris and Jill noticed the way he was looking at the president's daughter and decided to mess with him a little.

"You're going to erase her face from staring at her," Jill whispered in a mocking tone, causing Leon to turn quickly to her.

"Just listening," he turned to the other relic, but Chris rounded his broad shoulders.

"Yeah yeah, sure Kennedy. Hey, were you able to figure out why she was that mopey on the plane?"

Leon sighed, remembering the video and the conversation in the elevator.

"Sort of, although she didn't want to tell me."

Chris and Jill looked at each other and it was the woman who followed.

"Are you sure it's nothing serious?"

Kennedy thought long and hard about telling them, but he didn't want there to be any problems later, so he opted to tell them what Ashley had mentioned.

"It was a date gone wrong. Very badly," he finally punctuated, looking at the red stone bracelet on his wrist.

"Is she like this because of a bad date?" Chris was surprised and Leon glared at him.

"What, she can't be like that?"

Chris was amazed at Leon's sudden change in attitude and shrugged his shoulders with a sigh.

"I'm not saying she can't, but we've all been there, haven't we?"

"I think you and Jill have rejected others more than you've been rejected."

"Well, I mean, yes, but you get the same hard time," Jill justified.

This time Leon laughed derisively.

"No, it's not the same at all," he growled under his breath, the voice of his memories taking power in him, making him think of his past relationships and how they made him feel like a loser.

Chris and Jill sensed that darkness in Leon's words and were aware of how little they knew some facets of him. Chris cleared his throat and tried to work something out in the direction of the conversation.

"And... has she told you why?"

"No," the man answered in a whisper, ‘she just walked into my house all of a sudden and undressed.’ he thought to himself and then added. "But whatever it was, it's something that asshole told her."

Jill stared at him for a few seconds and Leon turned to another display case.

"You're not... jealous?"

Leon stiffened.

"Me? Jealous of what?"

Valentine jabbed his elbow gently.

"Of that guy asking her out."

He looked at her with reddened ears and frowned, looking away.

"I'm just pissed off because he gave Ash a bad evening, not jealous."

He remembered the dinner they shared after Ashley's presentation. On how they laughed and played. It was a very nice evening and that was how the one the other day should have been.

"He doesn't deserve her then," Chris said in a firm tone and Leon looked at him.

"Definitely not," he agreed with the dark-haired man as he looked through the glass of the display case at Ashley's figure.

Narsson chatted a while longer with his old professor while Graham said goodbye to him to go and explain the situation to the agents. The three turned to her.

"Well, he said-"

"Ash, in our language," smiled Leon. Ashley looked at him in confusion, until she realized he had continued speaking Norwegian.

"Sorry, we've been talking about Narsson fossils and the like."

Chris crossed his arms.

"What's the latest?"

"It's not a clue per se, but he mentioned to us that to the north, in the direction of Tradheim, in the more coastal area, they are carrying out small excavations in search of ancient Scandinavian vessels or objects. They seem to have found primitive sites half a year ago and started digging about a month ago," Ashley explained, looking at the notes in her notebook.

"It doesn't seem to have much to do with what we're looking for, does it?"

"No, but in Spain I doubt the miners in that town expected to find fossilized parasites. You never know."

It was a valid enough argument in view of the situation, so Redfield nodded without complaint.

"And where did you say it was?"

Ashley named the directions Narsson's professor had given her and watched Chris's brow slowly crease.

"I think I'm going to buy aspirin for the trip, my head is going to burst with this language."

"Don't be exaggerated," laughed Ashley and then saw Jill and Leon's expressions. Leon responded with a sigh.

"Ever since I started going to college with you, I still don't understand shit every time you talk to Narsson."

Ashley rolled her eyes at the sight.

"I'm going to buy you a goddamn dictionary," grunted the blonde.

"Hey, that's what we got you for, right? To translate," smiled Chris, but Ashley sighed heavily.

"The one who's going to need those aspirin, is going to be me...."

The agents laughed helplessly and one of the museum guards hissed for them to lower their voices, making all four of them blush with embarrassment. Ashley scolded him and they were invited to lunch by Emma's teacher, something none of them denied. Their stomachs, already empty, rumbled so loudly they feared they'd be thrown out of the museum at that rate.

*

Chris cursed for the nineteenth time when he heard the desperate voice of the GPS.

"Shut that thing up Jill."

Valentine rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't have to if you just followed the guide, why the hell didn't you turn at the exit?"

"Because it didn't look like it went anywhere to me."

Jill wanted to strangle him. Her murderous impulses were definitely starting to burn inside her.

"What didn't you think? You're in a foreign country! What the hell does it look like to you if you don't know anything around here!" Jill burst out, unable to take it anymore.

"Please forgive me, Miss Smarty Pants! I'm sure you've got the address wrong!" exclaimed Redfield, losing his patience and about to rip the GPS off the dashboard when it spoke again.

Jill looked at him in disbelief.

"So now it's my fault? You've got some balls."

The trio in the back seat listened quietly to the scene, but all three thought the exact same thing.

They looked like a marriage.

"I'm sure you spelled the address wrong." Chris repeated, tapping the little machine somewhat aggressively. Jill slapped his hand.

"You're going to end up breaking it, you handful."

"Then fix the damn address yourself."

"The address is right, I typed it in." Ashley said nervously from the back seat. Jill put her hands up to the sky.

"Thank God! Someone who agrees with me."

Redfield grunted, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"Then the thing is broken."

"How about you do what it says and stop complaining?" Leon finally jumped in with a sigh.

"Kennedy, you shut up, you're prettier."

The agent grunted, throwing his head back and hearing Ashley and Narsson laughing beside him.

"You're a fucking ogre when you're angry." he mumbled.

"I'm not angry."

"And a liar too."

"I'm going to break your mouth Scotty."

Leon was annoyed at Chris's tone and his name.

"Oh, I'd love for you to try, Christopher."

When they managed to stop that pitched battle and Chris finally decided to listen to the GPS, they managed to get back on course, but made a stop for gas.

While Jill gave Chris a piece of her mind for being stubborn, the rest of them went out to stretch their legs.

They had rented a van to travel to the seaside town that Narsson's teacher had told them about. It was the most discreet thing to do and right now they didn't want to attract so much attention.

Enma went to the gas station to buy something to snack on and Ashley decided to venture towards the cliffs in the background.

The wind was strong and was stirring her blonde hair furiously. It was freezing cold, even though it was summer, and she could see dark clouds in the distance approaching land.

They'd definitely been hit with shitty weather.

Ashley lowered her golden orbs toward the churning sea at the foot of the cliffs. She felt the salty sea smell fill her completely. She closed her eyes and listened to the crashing of the waves hitting the bare rock, a sound that rumbled until it rattled her soul.

"Watch out for the wind."

She snapped her eyes open and turned in surprise toward the voice. A man with dirty blond hair was looking out at the waves as she did. Gray hair already decorated his sideburns and much of his beard. Ashley was surprised she hadn't heard him, but she noticed his salty scent, just like the sea.

She stared at him silently, doubtful that it was her he was talking to. But then he turned back to her, drilling his gray eyes into the woman.

"Beware of the wind." he repeated. "For it is the breath of the ocean beasts."

Ashley sensed a slightly thicker accent, but understood his Norwegian. Seeing that she was the one he was talking to, she smiled, looking out to sea again.

"At least their breath doesn't smell bad." she replied in the same language.

The man was surprised to hear the young woman's accent.

"Are you a tourist?"

"On a business trip, looking for vestiges of the past."

The man stared at her for a few seconds and then raised his gray eyes to the vast ocean on the horizon. Silence fell between them for a few moments, deafened only by the furious pounding of the sea on the cliffs.

"Many want to know the past, for the humans of old faced monsters that no one now believes in and perhaps are still among us."

Ashley heard the man's raspy voice. Even though it sounded faint in tone, it could be heard above the thundering of the waves and she felt a shiver run down her spine.

"Should the humans of now... forget the monsters of the past?"

They spoke in the breaks of the waves. After the question, another deafening thump enveloped them and the man answered in that deep, mysterious tone.

"When fishermen prayed to the gods for safe crossings or when we were still discovering these lands, beasts dwelt here. Monsters that in the long northern summers did not appear, but roamed everywhere in the dark winter months, when the cold and the shadows accompanied them. They were predators that only fables described and that were only forgotten after they were annihilated with the fire of the gods and the justice of Odin."

Ashley listened in silence, feeling the cold claws of memories brush her mind brazenly.

"They sound like fearsome beasts," she said in a lost, thoughtful tone.

The man turned to her calmly.

"Tell me, miss, have you ever seen monsters?"

A huge wave hit the bare wall, rumbling in her ears even louder and deafening her deepest thoughts, but bringing out her darkest ones. The young woman's golden eyes lifted to the horizon, lost in memories.

"Maybe."

It wasn't a lie. He might think she was just taking him for an old coot, but the man knew those kinds of looks, those expressions.

Too well.

"And you're not afraid to meet others?"

Ashley took a deep breath.

"I'm more afraid of knowing they're there, but not seeing where they're coming from."

The wind swirled around the two, as if caressing them with its icy hands. The man's voice became deep.

"There are many unknown beasts in the world, there always will be."

He took a deep breath and then turned to the stranger, looking at him with his amber eyes.

"I know, just as there will always be someone looking for them."

The wind howled and shook the trees as their gazes met.

Two strangers in a secluded place, talking about monsters of the past and beasts that could still live among them.

It seemed far-fetched and any normal person listening to them would think so, but... when two people who have seen shadows in the darkness were talking... it didn't take much to understand each other.

Then the man took a step toward her and without a word held out his hand. Ashley watched him for a few seconds and then gave him hers to shake.

The skin was rough and calloused. Weathered by the passage of time and demanding work, but he felt that rough surface on her palms as well. The man nodded and turned his wrist to make her open her hand and place a small object in Ashley's palm. He closed her hand tightly.

"An amulet. May Odin be with you, traveler."

He released her hands and turned to walk silently and leave with the same stealth with which he had appeared. Her amber eyes followed the man's figure until he was lost in the sea mist. She looked down at her hand and opened her fingers to see what the stranger had given her.

It was a leather necklace with a silver medallion on which were strange runes drawn forming a kind of pentagram.

It was a compass of Vegrisir.

Ashley was surprised and raised her eyes again to the direction in which the man had gone.

"Thank you," she whispered into the wind, hoping her voice would resonate even to that peculiar stranger.

Still lost in thought, she watched the medallion shortly before she caught the scent of Leon approaching.

Kennedy reached her and looked in the same direction she had seen the stranger Ashley had shaken hands with go.

"Who was he? Did he want something?" he asked curiously and noticed the leather and metal pendant her companion was holding silently.

Ashley clutched the amulet tightly, feeling a strange energy fill her, as if the words she had shared amidst the roars of the sea had encouraged her.

She took a deep breath and turned to Leon.

"And of those pieces of advice that sometimes you have to listen to."

Leon looked at her in confusion, not understanding the meaning of the words. He went to ask, but Chris's voice calling them made him turn toward the gas station.

"Are they calling us?" Ashley asked, putting the amulet in her pocket.

"Yes, we should go," Leon announced, turning to her again.

They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, melting into each other's eyes as the sea wind gently swayed them.

"Let's go back," Ashley whispered then, taking her eyes off him.

Leon let her pass and walked after her with a strange feeling in his body. A mixture of calmness and... uneasiness.

*

By the time they reached their destination it was already dark.

Or so it was supposed, because it was the first time they had seen the famous midnight sun. While Narsson talked with the locals, the four Americans stood gazing at the sky, absorbed, earning soft laughter from some elderly people sitting on a porch.

Enma came soon after to take them to the small shelter in the village and the agents followed her.

It was a dwelling with an area set up for travelers like them. Narsson and Ashley greeted the kindly elderly couple who had put them up, and the other three smiled with a nod.

"You definitely need to learn a few words," Ashley laughed as she climbed the wooden stairs to the top of the house.

"Do you want me to pop a vein?" Chris grunted, crunching the wood under his weight.

"You're overreacting," Graham reproached him before opening the door to the room.

The room had nothing to do with the hotel. They all slept in the same room and had a single shower to share, plus a stove by the window.

It was much more modest, but it was sturdy. The beds were solid wood and the furniture was hard.

"At least the bed isn't going to split with you, Chris," Leon scoffed, setting the backpack aside.

Redfield rolled his eyes.

"Will you guys stop messing with me? You don't seem to have anything better to do."

Jill patted her partner on the back.

"It's too much fun."

The captain grunted and finally entered the room. There were two bunks and a small bed to one side. Leon and Chris decided to take the lower bunks, while Jill and Ashley took the upper bunks. They decided to let Narsson have the single bed.

After putting on the sheets and washing their faces from the sea salt, they decided to go down to the bar run by the hostel owner himself.

They had a drink and some food at a small round table. A few locals dared to say hello and Ashley was the one who took the initiative to talk.

The locals warned them of the unstable storm that was coming and would probably arrive tomorrow or the day after. They were very friendly to them and especially to Ashley, surprised to hear her speak their language.

They chatted some more and after several drinks from the Norwegians they stumbled off.

The group waved them goodbye and laughed among themselves, feeling the tension they had built up venting a bit.

There were many who paid them no attention, but there were others with curious eyes.

*

The next day they went down to the excavation early. They thought they wouldn't sleep a wink that night because of Chris, but it turned out that he didn't snore unless he got into a bad position, something Leon was grateful for, otherwise he would have tied him up with a gag.

The temperature had dropped a lot and they had to bring out more clothes than expected, but nothing they weren't all used to, although Narsson again complained about not being able to bring the luggage.

This time Leon was the one who drove to the excavation by general vote and Chris spent the ride with his arms crossed and grunting.

Ashley watched the scenery with a blank, thoughtful stare. Her thoughts caused her to reach into her pocket and pull out the metal amulet.

She looked at the shape of the runes and the structure of the engraving for a few seconds and then slipped it over her head and tied it around her neck.

Leon watched the action from the rearview mirror, his blue eyes scanning the small metal object that now decorated her neck. And he saw Ashley push her hair aside and tuck it behind her ear, raising her eyes to the inside rearview mirror. Their gazes met for an instant and Leon quickly averted his.

The GPS told him the end of the trip and Leon parked near the dock. The five of them got out and the sea breeze greeted them again along with the cloudy and increasingly dark sky.

"It looks like it's going to rain," Chris said, watching the storm clouds. They put on their jackets and walked towards the area cordoned off by archaeologists.

Narsson decided to go ahead to talk to the expedition leader while Ashley approached some of the workers. On the other hand, Jill, Chris and Leon scanned their surroundings, alert to any threats.

Some of the DSO department thought that sending so many agents to simply investigate was too much. The BSAA had already sent Chris and Jill and for the President to attach Ashley and Leon to investigate was something that some of the charges were not entirely convinced of, but President Graham was quite clear with his words when he said that he did not plan to mess up again and send just one agent.

Leon knew he was referring to how he was sent alone on a rescue mission that later ended up being something much bigger and even if he had survived, it would have been easier with more qualified agents.

Leon circled the fenced off area and watched the workers hiding in deep holes.

He saw Ashley chatting with some of them and even taking notes in her notebook. Maybe what she experienced in Spain made her take that path, but she was definitely passionate about what she had studied.

It went rather smoothly. Narsson caught up with the project manager and explained that they were looking for new samples of a reptile specimen that had been found. That revelation left Enma somewhat disappointed, as it had nothing to do with the creature they were looking for, but she decided to keep digging.

Meanwhile, Ashley had ended up going into one of the holes they were working on and an elderly man was showing her some shrapnel they had found, mainly seashells. It wasn't particularly new, being an area on the coast, so the man focused more on showing her the different layers that bounded the earth, and in one of them Ashley could see a slight darker tint. He even thought she smelled ash.

"What about this layer?" she asked the man in Norwegian.

"We think it belongs to Viking times. It may be from old sieges when they burned the villages they plundered."

Graham listened carefully and inhaled, wanting to pick up some nuance, but instead sensed something else.

She stood up abruptly looking in one direction. The three agents saw her blonde head peek out of the hole and pin her eyes in the distance. 

Leon turned in that direction and listened. Had he caught a strange scent? The three agents became alert when they saw her emerge from the hole. Ashley waved goodbye to the man and walked away from the excavation, sniffing the air.

But the scent was gone.

The blonde stood looking around as Leon approached her.

"Did you smell something?" he whispered discreetly.

"It seemed familiar, but it disappeared very quickly, so I don't know if it was just a passing scent."

Leon looked at her in confusion.

"Familiar? Of what?"

She sighed.

"I don't know, I think I've smelled it before, but I don't remember where or when."

"I'll tell Chris to keep an eye open." Leon's tone of voice became aggravated and Ashley assisted.

"I'm going to see if I can get anything off the premises."

Leon watched the woman walk toward the dock and after warning Chris and Jill to be on the lookout, he hurried to Graham again. Although he knew she could take care of herself, it was best not to get too far apart.

Ashley walked down to the dock and wandered among the old boats. She stopped in front of two men mending some fishing nets, and they looked at her with some suspicion. Graham approached and could hear one of them muttering disdainfully.

"Excuse me, may I ask you a few questions?"

The instant she began to speak their language, the fishermen's faces changed completely. They remained in their seats and looked at her intently. Leon stood back as he listened to them chat. He could see how well Ashley was doing and... how cheerful she looked.

The more she talked to the fishermen, the looser she felt. The anxieties that had populated her mind on the plane and a few days before were dissipating.

Like that feeling Dylan had put her through... the one that gave her the impression of being desperate for attention and physical contact. Like she was just looking for someone to share a bed with.

It made her feel like a desperate fool.

But there... no one knew who she was, where she came from or what she did, and yet she managed to connect with the locals just by speaking their language. They didn't look at her as a fool or see her as a piece of meat to pick at.

She felt... valued.

At one point in the conversation, she asked them about villages the Vikings used to ravage or even legends of monsters attacking villages. At first, she thought they would laugh at her and her wild questions, but far from it they told her about old tales and local myths.

And finally, she got to hear the word "monsters."

Ashley's eyes fell on one of the fishermen and she asked him about it.

They seemed to be tales for children who didn't want to listen to their parents, but Ashley felt there was something more behind the stories. There was something sinister that made those words almost come alive.

She asked them if those tales were from the area and the other long-bearded fisherman nodded, telling her that that whole area of coast suffered many raids and... misfortunes.

They talked without realizing that their voices sounded lower and lower and slower. Ashley noticed the fishermen's eyes, elusive and darkened by the passing years... or experiences one didn't want to know about. When she was aware of the depth of the men's words, she decided to ask one last question.

"Are any of your places nearby?"

Both fishermen looked at each other for a moment and then felt.

Leon watched Ashley say goodbye to the men and walk back to him. He sensed her amber eyes look to a distant area and knew she was thinking of something.

"Any leads?"

"I have been told that a couple of kilometers from here there are remains of an old fishing village, which was abandoned, they don't know if by a siege by Vikings or... by something else." Her last words were barely a whisper that sent a shiver down Leon's spine. The man looked in the same direction as she did and then put his finger to the small earpiece he, Chris, and Jill were wearing.

"Kennedy here."

A few seconds passed.

"I hear you." Jill's voice answered.

"Ash has spoken to some locals who have mentioned some old ruins. How's Narsson doing?"

"She is still with the manager, Chris has gone with her to look at the geological maps they are showing her. It looks like what they are looking for are old subway caves throughout the area that were buried."

Leon was thoughtful for a few seconds.

"Okay, I've got you on the line. Ashley and I are going to go ahead and take a look at the area. I'll keep you updated."

"Okay."

Kennedy pulled his finger away from his ear and turned to his partner.

"When Chris and Narsson are done, they'll come to our location. Do you have the radio on you?"

Ashley lifted her jacket to show him the device tucked inside a plastic holster. Leon reached up and gently took the backpack from her.

"Come on, I'll take it for a while. I'll follow you."

"Thank you," she said before setting off for the area the fishermen had told her about. Maybe they would get some answers there instead of more questions.

*

The sky turned dark and the storm clouds looked like they were going to engulf everything beneath them. The wind began to blow hard and to shake the treetops furiously.

The two figures walked silently along an old muddy path, now overgrown with brambles.

Leon began to hear thunder in the distance and raised his sapphire eyes to the overcast sky.

He didn't like thunderstorms. He turned to Ashley and the first thunder rumbled like an angry celestial drum. He watched her cringe for an instant and knew she wasn't too amused either.

The two walked in silence, their minds sinking in that sea of memories they shared.

In the storms and... in that night.

"Look."

Leon's voice brought Ashley to her senses and she raised her eyes to the craggy cove between the cliffs. It was farther from the sea than the town they had been in and at first glance it just looked rocky and overgrown with trees and grass.

They walked until they reached the place and as they approached they could see small vestiges. Small piles of stone covered by the moss of yesteryear could have been a stone wall to keep the animals in the corral.

Ashley knelt down to pull up some weeds and look at the bare rock blackened by some past fire. There was nothing left to indicate that there had once been a village there, only traces of stone and a very old nail that Leon had found while digging in one area.

Another clap of thunder echoed in the sky and the first drops began to fall. The two put on their hoods and continued investigating.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Leon asked, running his palm along crags made in the stone and then turning to face her.

He saw her crouched down as the rain poured down on her.

Graham stood up silently and looked around.

"Yes, this is it," she whispered. He stood motionless for a few seconds and then crept through the trees with Leon until they found a stranger abandoned on the ground. It was overgrown with brush, brambles, and moss, but it was strangely round. Leon and Ashley pulled out their knives and without a word began to cut and bring to light what was underneath.

A pit. Or what was left of the silhouette of one.

It seemed that at a more present time, someone had closed the hole in the well with timbers of questionable sturdiness.

"Well, this is something," Ashley said not quite sure what to do next.

Leon picked up a small stone and threw it into the plugged hole. He listened carefully and sighed.

"It doesn't look very hollow, maybe the earth has filled it in by now."

They both sighed and the rain got louder, making Leon's head buzz more.

"Maybe we should go ba-"

Ashley pushed him against a tree and covered his mouth in a second. Leon tensed and looked at her in confusion, but when he met her eyes he knew something wasn't right.

Ashley remained static. She inhaled softly and her pupils constricted. She let go of her partner's mouth and hid behind another tree trunk. Leon saw her tie her backpack tightly and then pull her pistol from her thigh holster.

Leon reflexively did the same and all his muscles tensed violently.

He glanced sideways at the woman and watched her lips move slowly.

"We've been followed."

Leon frowned and made sure the gun was ready.

The thunder began to deafen the place and Leon found it increasingly difficult to hear anything in the pouring rain. But for Ashley it was the ideal situation. The rain accentuated the smells more, expanding them and making them reach her more easily and clearly. She closed her eyes, listening to her racing heartbeat and steadied her breathing.

She sensed the shades of her followers and recognized them.

They had the same scent as the mercenaries who tried to kidnap Narsson.

For a second she thought about how they had found them, but if Wesker was as smart as Chris claimed, then it wouldn't have taken him long to come to that conclusion. Researching Enma's background was enough to find the museum where he displayed his old find. They would probably talk to Narsson's professor as well and he may have stopped by his classmates so the man could tell them where they had gone.

He was definitely a man you didn't want to have as an enemy.

Leon heard some whistling and had to make a great effort to make out the footsteps. He cursed inwardly at the intercession of rain and raised his gun, ready.

Ashley motioned for him to wait. They were still approaching.

"Where the hell did they go?" someone said in the background.

The footsteps were becoming clearer even to Ashley. A violent clap of thunder split the sky and Leon had to quickly cover his ears. He gritted his teeth and his blue eyes locked on Ashley's on the other side. They both looked at each other in silence as their hearts thundered in their ears. They didn't look away from each other as they heard the voices getting closer and closer.

Ashley breathed in softly and sensed three people... no, five. 

It was a small group like them, probably recon. Both Chris and Jill had mentioned to her that Wesker was not a man who was on the front line other than when necessary, so he may not have even gone all the way to the coastal town they were in and stayed in Oslo. Redfield also let it slip that he was no ordinary human, that he was a bioweapon himself, so she assumed his scent would be very different from that of the mercenaries.

He let the air out gently. He didn't want to form mist and give away his position.

"Look for them, they should not be far away." Another man's voice was heard in the undergrowth. "Do you have the thermal scopes?"

Leon and Ashley tensed suddenly and looked at each other in alarm. If they used those sights, they would be hunted down in a second. Graham raised his hand and his heart skipped a beat as he caught a scent approaching Leon. He motioned to his partner as another clap of thunder made Leon curse. The agent stuck to the log and waited.

And waited.

It was as if time stood still as the rain seemed to fall in the background. Leon stopped hearing it for an instant and focused on the footsteps as his heart pounded in his chest with a drum. 

He was close.

 He saw the tip of a rifle peek over the side of the tree trunk. He filled his lungs and held his breath. 

He had only one chance. 

First the gun. 

A hand peeked out. 

An arm... a shoulder... 

The soldier's eyes met the agent's and before he could even blink, Leon grabbed him by the throat. 

He tensed all his muscles and strangled him with all his might while covering his mouth. Ashley watched the man struggle in trying to break free from Leon's deadly grip, but to no avail. She smelled the adrenaline and watched his eyes roll until he stopped moving. 

Ashley felt her heart shrink as she saw the body left dangling in Leon's arms and he didn't blink. His face was now serious and hard as steel. There was no room for doubt or emotions. Only instincts. 

He thought the soldier's threat had passed, but then a beeping sound began. Leon and Ashley both blanched. 

"There!"

Shots whistled and the two ducked behind their trees. Leon looked at the soldier and saw a small bracelet. That made that sound. A bullet hit the trunk at Leon's head level and the man grunted. 

"Fuck," he shot in the soldiers direction. Ashley mimicked him, trying to spot his pursuers in the bush. Kennedy took firm aim and when he heard footsteps, he fired. One man screamed as he was hit in the shoulder and Ashley pushed back another.

Leon put his hand to his ear and pressed the receiver. 

"Chris!" a bullet made him flinch with a jolt. "Jill!" he called into the transmitter. But the sound of a click silenced him. 

Leon turned around. 

Ashley turned around. 

Between them flew a spherical object. A grenade. 

They saw it in the air. The rain stopped. Their hearts thundered in their ears. Their bodies rose up burning. 

Run. RUN. RUN. 

Ashley pushed Leon with her body and they fell into the hole of the well before the explosion. Wood and earth showed and the bomb shattered the rock walls. And they fell.

***

His ears were ringing between the impact of the grenade and the roar of the water. He felt a body clinging to him in the fall. 

"GET AIR!" 

Leon only reacted to Ashley's shout an instant before sinking into the icy water. They held on with all their might as the current swept them through those underwater tunnels. They shielded each other's heads and held their breath and the violent shaking. They felt the agony and the fear of not knowing if there was an end. If they would make it out. When the current spat them upwards. They stuck their heads out in desperation and breathed in pain. They gasped and swam until they touched the rough crevice. They groaned in pain and grunted as they climbed onto land, feeling their whole bodies scream. They had suffered bumps and abrasions. Leon looked at his legs with cuts, torn cloth and blood slowly oozing out. They were minor injuries, so he didn't take much notice of them. He turned quickly to Ashley with his heart in his fist and barely breathing. 

"Ash-" he coughed the seawater from his throat and watched her spit out the saltpeter. He saw some cuts on her hands and noticed her arms and back, but, like Leon's, they were only superficial.

He crawled over to her and pushed her hair away from her face as her gasps echoed in the cavern. 

"Are you... okay?" he asked breathlessly. She raised her eyes and clung to his arm. 

"Yes,... And... you?"

Leon looked around and took a shaky breath. 

"I'm fine." It took a few more seconds for their breathing to calm down. They stood up in pain and looked at the place where the torrent of water had spat them out. 

"Where are we?" Leon said, wringing the water out of his jacket and pulling his hair back. 

"It's salt water, so we still have to be on shore,” she replied, opening a backpack to make sure she hadn't lost anything. She was thankful she had packed samplers of plastic bags. After inspecting it she stood up and began to feel cold. 

"We should find a way out before we get hypothermia," Leon said rubbing his hands together and looking at Ashley. She inhaled deeply and arched her eyebrows.

 "I smell ... wood?"

Leon looked surprised. 

"Wood? Which way?"

She sniffed and pointed to a narrow gap between the walls. 

"That way." Ashley's tone of voice was a little louder and Leon grunted, covering his ears. 

"Speak softer, please," he whispered. His eardrums were still ringing from the explosion and the salt water that had gotten into his ears didn't seem to be coming out. It was a very unpleasant sensation that was just giving him a headache. 

"Sorry," she apologized in a whisper and then took his hand and led him. "come."

Leon let himself go. He felt terribly dizzy, as if he had been hit several times with the palms in his ears. He heard Ashley's footsteps mixed with the swaying of the water inside his ear canal. He grunted in frustration and watched Ashley squeeze into a small hole. He slid sideways and waited for her to reach the other side and then followed her to him. 

"Fuck... I barely... pass..." he gasped holding on to the stone so he could move forward. 

"You need to do less pull-ups, your pecs are too big," she scoffed in a soft voice wanting to take the heat off the situation and was happy when she heard Leon laugh under his breath. "My pecs are perfect." 

"Then tuck in your belly." 

"Idiot."

This time she was the one laughing. Kennedy finally managed to get out, but saw Ashley slip as she gave him her hand to pull him up. He grabbed her like lightning and they both fell down the slippery rock. It was more of a startle than anything else. They made it to the end unharmed in the blink of an eye. They got up carefully so as not to slip again and stood in pity. 

"Wow,” Leon whispered, shining his flashlight on the old and worn wooden structures. A graveyard of Nordic ships.

The hulls were mangled and almost rotten to the core, but the isolation of the cave had ensured that they had been preserved until now. Leon and Ashley approached carefully and Graham originated the wood full of algae and verdigris. 

"How long has this been here?" Leon lifted the flashlight to the masthead on the bow and then slid it down to the wreckage of other vessels. "They look like shipwrecks." 

"Yes, maybe the ocean currents dragged them through the caves." Ashley took out the knife to scrape the surface of the wood and then opened the backpack. 

"I'm going to take samples... shit."

Leon turned to her. 

"What's the matter?" 

The plastic canisters had broken from the impact they'd taken underwater. Ashley rummaged through the bottom, pulling out the unusable and was glad she'd packed bags of blood to use as possible liquids, something she didn't take to the expedition in Spain. 

"I don't have many containers, most have broken, but I think I can manage."

With great care and patience, she chipped the slippery wooden surface and inserted the remains through the tube of the bag. Leon watched her for a few seconds and then walked around the other side. The echo of the water between the tunnels echoed in his ears like waterfalls, making it difficult for him to even hear Ashley. He kept an eye out for an unlit area and an old plank that sagged under his weight. And he heard a creaking sound. Leon froze and all his muscles tensed. He didn't move, wondering what that had been.

"Ash?" he called to his companion with some urgency. "I think I stepped on something... that's not wood.

Ashley turned and finished putting the bag away quickly. She ran to him with flashlight in hand and shone her light at his feet. She knelt down as she saw that some of it was wood, but underneath was something else. Graham lifted the splinters with the knife and whispered.

“Lift the foot slowly.”

He obeyed gently and lifted the drop of rotten wood, letting Ashley see what was underneath. When she saw it, the flashlight almost fell off, and she gasped for air for a second.

Bones.

He had stepped on a skull. But her horror didn't end there.

When Ashley pushed aside a large chunk of wood, the two of them suddenly moved away.

A plaga.

They both saw that the creature was pierced in half and realized what that meant.

“That... is much bigger than the ones in... Spain,” Leon whispered, circling the body. “Haven't you smelled it?”

She shook her head. 

“Everything smells like salt and seaweed, it is very difficult to perceive such old and small smells.” She paused, following Leon, who found the other half of the plaga. “Besides, this... looks like the ones from the grotto I found in Spain.”

“The ones that were dismembered?”

Ashley nodded.

 “Those were far below even the catacombs we were in.”

Kennedy was silent for a few seconds. 

“So they're older than the ones Ramon had inside.”

They both internalized what that meant: the creatures had been around for a very, very long time.

Finally, Ashley reacted and pulled out the knife to extract samples of the plaga.

The water hadn't ruined the analog camera, so she was able to take some pictures.

“Ash, here's more!”

Leon had found an area overlooking the water where there were more bodies or remains of what had once been humans. From the looks of it, they had fought off the parasites, as they were all impaled, burned, or dismembered. It looked like the reason for the shipwreck was the plagas and the ship was at the mercy of the ocean just like the bodies, ending up being washed up there.

“Here, go take pictures of all this. I'm going to finish taking samples from inside the ship,” Ashley said, handing him the camera.

“Be careful.”

She smiled at him and walked to get between the skeletons of the old ships while Leon put his photography skills into practice.

Inside the ship, the smell was terrible. Ashley had to hold her breath every time she scratched the decaying surface filled with algae and some other mollusks.

The place felt... forgotten. As if time had disappeared and everything the sea had washed up there had become a mere eternal mausoleum. The air was heavy, and the cold went through the bones, making both Leon and Ashley shiver.

“When we get out, I call for the shower first,” Ashley said, grunting in disgust as a seaweed fell on her head.

She heard a soft chuckle in the background. “We'll draw lots when Chris and Jill find us.”

Ashley pulled out another baggie and saw that she only had one more left. She couldn't take too many samples.

“Jill?” she then heard Leon call out to the ex-cop. “Jill, do you read me?”

Leon could only hear choppy sounds and noise. He grunted, trying to focus all his attention on getting a response. They had to be looking for them; the explosion would have alarmed them. Leon and Ashley had locators, so at least they could track them.

He focused again on trying to hear his companions over the earpiece.

And a board hit his head.

Leon fell face first into the puddle of water he had been photographing. He jerked his head out with a grunt, but he was grabbed by the throat and plunged back into the water.

Who the hell was that? He hadn't heard him. He had been so focused on catching something from his companions that he had let his guard down.

He struggled with his attacker and felt his lungs burning from not being able to catch his breath. He managed to land a kick to his attacker's head, and he fell backwards. He came out of the water gasping and saw one of the soldiers. He must have pulled out a knife, and he saw Ashley emerge from between the boats. The man lunged at the officer with the gun, and Leon raised the gun, pointing it at his head.

But the man was quicker. “Knives are better for close combat, rookie.”

“FU-”

Leon dodged the fatal stab, but the blade sank into the side of his waist. Leon roared and grabbed the man by the wrist, striking him in the head. The soldier threw his body over him, and they both fell into puddles on the stone. Leon screamed as the man pulled the knife from his flesh and stopped him as he went to stab again.

Ashley jumped on the soldier's back, deflecting the knife and keeping it from plunging into Leon's chest. He hit her in the temple with his elbow, but she didn't let go.

She only saw red and smelled blood.

They wouldn't hurt him. Not anymore. She wanted to protect him. Save him.

Leon punched the soldier in the stomach, making him grunt. The agent threw him into the air with a kick, and Ashley didn't hesitate. She charged at him, and the soldier hit her hard, but she managed to cover herself and answer him with a hook that sent him reeling.

“Don't hesitate. Don't think. Act.”

She couldn't see. She was blinded by adrenaline and fury...along with terror. Her body moved on impulse, drawing the knife.

She dodged a kick and plunged the blade into the soldier's thigh. He screamed, but before he could react, she drove the knife into his neck with the violence of a hammer.

The man convulsed for a second before going still and falling dead to the ground.

Ashley gasped uncontrollably. The blood was warm, and the smell was suffocating.

The stench of blood... rancid and... hot.

“LEON!”

She couldn't stop. There was no time to think about what she had just done.

Not now.

Leon's grunts tore at her as she dropped to her knees beside him.

There was so much blood. Too much.

“God, God, God...” Ashley pulled off her jacket and pressed it hard against the wound, wrenching a scream from Leon. “Put it there, Leon, please!”

He ran for his backpack as he heard the man's pained moans.

This time, he was the one bleeding out. Not her.

Quickly.

She went back to him and pulled out some small towels she had stuffed in the backpack. She pulled out bandages and a first aid bag she always carried with her.

Leon was sweating and shaking. His face was paling by the second.

“Hold on,” she sobbed, lifting his shirt to see the wound. It was on the side of his waist. She didn't know if it had hit any organs—maybe not, as it was too far on the outside—but he was bleeding a lot.

She quickly took out the disinfectant and poured it all over the wound.

“FUCK!!!” he roared in pain, biting his other hand to hold back his moans and grunts of agony.

Ashley's eyes watered and clouded over. She had to hurry. Her hands couldn't shake now. “Please, not now.”

“Don't fail me now,” she whispered as she pulled the suture needle out of the little metal box.

Leon was running out of strength, and the color was leaving his skin too quickly. Ashley hurried to sew with her heart in her throat and tears in her eyes.

“No...no...please...hold on....”

She closed the wound, but the scarlet puddle that had formed was worrisome.

“Leon?”

She got no answer.

“Leon? LEON!”

She felt for a pulse and held back a scream as she felt how weak it was.

Blood. He needed blood.

She thought quickly. She was a universal blood donor. Yes, yes, she could give it, yes, come on.

Almost hyperventilating, she pulled the last remaining bag out of the backpack along with needles. God, she never thought she'd need these, she'd only brought them for fluids, and now she was going to do a homemade blood transfusion.

Either that or Leon would die.

She strapped the belt to her bicep and dug the needle into her vein. As the bag began to fill, she cut the sleeve of Leon's T-shirt and pushed the thin metal into his pale veins. She secured the IV and lifted the bag, then opened the path.

The time it took for the red liquid to flow down the tube into Leon was agonizing.

This was madness. She didn't even know if it would work.

She could only wait.

And with every passing second, she felt like a part of her was dying.

She didn't know how much time passed or how much blood would have entered Leon's body. She was still pressing on the wound with trembling hands when she heard a grunt of pain.

She turned breathlessly to him and sobbed with joy when she saw those eyelids part.

“ God... Leon... Can you hear me?” She whispered brushing sweaty locks away from his face.

 He took a second to focus his eyes and then look at the woman.

“ Ash... Are you okay?”

 Ashley laughed through her tears.

“ That's what I should be asking you... you idiot.” She stroked his cheek and Leon gave her a faint smile.

I need a few more minutes to fully regain consciousness and see Ashley's blood rushing into him.

“Are you... a walking hospital... or what?” he whispered weakened, but feeling the energy return to him. He hissed when Ashley moved the hand he kept pressing on the wound to see if it was still bleeding.

The towel was clean.

“ Being it was good for me.” And she took his pulse again, calmer now, and wiped away the sweat. - How are you feeling?

“ Wonderful.” he sighed with a soft laugh that made her grunt. “ Have I earned the first turn in the shower?”

Anyone would think this situation was absurd. That he wasn't behaving like a man who had been on the verge of bleeding to death. But Ashley knew he was doing it as much for her as for him.

“ Maybe I'm going to have to help you take a shower.” she joked now with dried tears.

 Leon smirked.

“ That doesn't sound like a bad plan.”

Ashley laughed softly and wiped her nose with her free hand smearing it with Leon's blood. The smell of iron and became so intense that it even eclipsed the scent of the salt surrounding them. But right now he didn't care if he couldn't smell other smells, now he just wanted to see Leon recover.

But the adrenaline was starting to drain out of her and her thoughts began to take hold.

She had killed a person.

She still felt the warm sensation of blood on her hands. Her body had acted alone and before she knew it there was a man lying on the ground with her knife through his throat.

Her body began to tremble and her breathing to shake.

But it had been so fast... everything had turned red when she saw Leon full of blood.

As if it wasn't her.

She didn't feel the hand that touched her wrist and the voice that called out to her. Only a sharp pinch made her react.

“ Ash.” she turned to Leon with dilated pupils. “Breathe.”

It took her a second to process that word, but she saw Leon do it and unconsciously imitated him.

“ That's it. - he whispered, breathing in and out with her.”

He may have been through a lot of things, but killing a person wasn't one of them.

And Leon knew how hard it was. He knew all too well.

They breathed together and even Leon stopped feeling dizzy. It seemed Ashley had given him enough blood.

“ I'm doing much better. The wound seems to have clotted, doesn't it?”

Ashley gently lifted the cloth, even she looked surprised.

“ It's very fresh, if you move too much it will open up, but it's not bleeding, did... my blood help?”

Leon sighed heavily.

“ Whatever it was, it is welcome.”

Ashley laughed softly.

“ You're not dizzy anymore?”

“ No, it was just in time, thank you.”

She smiled and let the air and heaviness out of her body, now fully stained with Leon's blood.

“ Be still for a while.”

“ Yes, ma'am.”

“ I'm going to take the-”

It was like nightmares in slow motion.

That strange feeling of stillness that he saw everything in great detail, but at the same time he was unable to react.

And what he saw was the nightmare coming back to him.

He saw a deformed face. Teeth closing around Ashley's shoulder.

And a scream breaking his ears again.

The pain of his wound disappeared and his instincts made him grab the hilt of the knife still plunged into that man who was no longer human.

But a monster.

He saw the teeth sink into her flesh and all his muscles pulled at the fist, severing the head all at once as it fell rolling to the ground.

Ashley brought her hands to the hollow air of her neck and shoulder. She felt the blood between her fingers, but it barely came out.

What it was doing was burning.

She looked at Leon and then at the man she thought she had killed. She saw her partner's eyes widen like saucers and terror fill his expression.

“ No... no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

He looked at her in despair and when he saw those black veins spread from the bite, he felt like he was going back to that night.

To the same place. To the same nightmare.

“Leon what's hap-”

Ashley began to cough and her throat tightened. Her eyes contracted and her body began to shake and sweat. Leon grabbed her tightly.

This couldn't be happening.

Ashley's breathing became somewhere between ragged and anguished.

This had to be a nightmare. No...not again...not her.

She saw his amber eyes bloodshot and as she screamed at him. Leon didn't process her words, it took him a while to understand that she was asking him to release the IV.

What IV? Then he realized they were still sharing blood. Leon's thoughts stopped working as he watched those black veins spread across Ashley's skin. He began to feel hot. An unpleasant tingling running up and down his body.

He called out to her until his voice rasped from the effort as he watched her tremble more and more and the burn by the second. He was unable to react, but a part of him knew what was happening, what was happening to them. And he remembered the nightmare.

It was another bad dream. He just had to wake up.

He only had to wake up.

[inventors-fair]

Status Symbols: EDH Redesign Runners-up ~

Our runners-up for this week are @izzet-always-r-versus-u, @lanabutnotdelray, and @wildcardgamez!

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Haakon, Rimebound

It was a close one this week, but upon conferring with other judges, I looked at this card and really had to appreciate the creativity of it and what it's asking. Self-mill and processing means you can generate a whole bunch of nonsense to make mana in ways that allow for both self-contained and very thoughtful deckbuilding. Perhaps reanimation isn't as easy as it in with commanders like Sheoldred or The Scarab God, but this is an unlimited-ish mana-sinking card that generates some wild snow builds. Snow is a resource with which I'm not as familiar (aside from the one time I tried to make Tundra Fumarole work in Pioner) but that I respect a lot. This card, naturally, makes it work quite elegantly.

I think that as much as I'm iffy on the life payment, I have to respect the fact that this is an amazing commander that might just not be right for me personally. Seeing people do their self-mill builds would be awesome to check out, and there are cards like Mortuary and Haunted Crossroads that would absolutely shred the meta. A little bit of specific searching with blue for the mill, a little bit of token sacrifice to get the snow, a little bit of aristocrats for the black... I'm not entirely sure what I'd do with this card and that's because it's smarter than me. It's asking for some intricate and delicate builds with which I am unfamiliar. And I respect that immensely! That's what makes this design stand out this week for sure.

@lanabutnotdelray — Vance, Sunray Governor

Yeah, Rakdos steal-yo-man was around and about a little this week. And good for it! I think it's one of my top archetypes that I don't play myself. Only wording change I'd alter is the start of the last wording: "Whenever a player plays a card with a loot counter on it from exile, that player exiles the top card of their library with a loot counter on it and Vance deals 1 damage to each of that player's opponents." I think there's a little necessary specificity? I'm also paranoid about those things, and I also have questions of if they need to be separated, because there are really convoluted questions with damage, redirection, other triggers—like if Laelia plus Chandra's Incinerator plus damage increasers would buff with the exile before damage is dealt and how those triggers interact.

That's a massively specific corner case so let's talk about this card instead. Fun! It's the kind of card that would maybe have fun from Shared Psychosis this week, but also maybe not because Vance cares about the specific kind of counter. Hardly a fair point, though, because Vance wouldn't have to worry about getting other effects to make counters; she's a self-contained pirate where you can throw in literally any awesome effect and then make her work just fine. Increasing damage to your opponents and/or getting other cast bonuses and/or Treasure bonuses is awesome. I love stealing lands from other people's resources in Commander. Does that make me a bad person? No, I'm a pirate. Arr. The point is, I love the chaos that Vance causes and I respect the self-contained nature of these abilities. It's a fine choice to make a commander that builds around itself, basically.

@wildcardgamez — Satsuki, Seasoned Storyteller

I'm glad that Tumblr actually decided to show this image, phew. Anyway! Satsuki old and Satsuki here work quite well together. You get increase all of your sagas, and then when they leave you get to return them with this one. The death trigger on the other Satsuki does make it feel a little rough for Commander, as most legendary death triggers do, but this is for sure a fresher take. The ability to return any enchantment is certainly strong but it's supposed to be that way, so I dig it. Saga commanders are pretty tricky and quite limited; I know there are historic ones, and the one from CMM, and our good friend Tom—but, different spaces, different places.

In my notes I mentioned this in a positive light, but this card reminds me of those Dominaria Commander-specific legends they had with a whole bunch of hyperspecific abilities. You know the ones I'm talking about? Like Archers, Kobolds, life payment... Anyway. I like that for this card. The other thing I want to note is the affinity; I feel that this card could've had it like Reality Heist instead of actual affinity, but that's just me. You could've even done it for each lore counter instead of each Saga itself! But with the lack of generic in the cost... That's clever. That's super clever. I don't think it would click for a lot of players and honestly I would've given it at least on generic pip, but that's really awesome in a nerdy way.

Commentary is half-done, but as you read this I'm knee-deep in nerd retail. Catch you all on the flipside. @abelzumi

[purelillies]

leshy! ( or deathcards and you! )

or a strange analyzation on leshy, and his deathcards.

this is another long post, just so you’re warning, but leshy! i’m extremely fond of him. maybe it’s all the time i’ve spent, embarrassingly, in kaycee’s mod, but i adore his character. but i can’t help but keep thinking about act one, especially after i fucked up my runs and didn’t know story events depending on deaths, and not runs. my bad.

( another fair warning: this is going to be me, as usual, over-analyzing dialogue for a total of maybe two people and myself, and whoever else is still clinging to this game like i am. )

but what i’m referring to is his attitude towards the player. inscryption is an odd one, considering we have luke carder as a player but it’s also acknowledged in kaycee’s mod that we, us, myself and whoever reading, are also the player.

leshy sounds, for lack of a better word, soft at the start of inscryption. i know that sounds odd, but i see it in how he talks to the player. behold, act one dialogue!

“ fear not “ implies that he thought you’d be worried, though, seeing from your deck and how the game is progressing, you probably have already figured that your cards don’t leave you deck anyway. he’s still telling you though. even for a tutorial, he tries to be more forgiving than he really needs to be for the player. but that’s not what’s majorly differently.

deathcards! yeah, i’m talking about them again, and they’ll take a major focal point, since i think they’re some of the most telling details about leshy.

i find it interesting that he specifically uses favor, when you don’t really have a choice when it comes down to it, and the entirety of the next sentence. yes, in hindsight, deathcards are only a creation he made, but he doesn’t need to continue to make them whatsoever. it shows that it’s his choice to create them, to put a memory and use to you outside of this isolated run.

and the use of “ we. “ he even says as such, that it’s you and leshy working together to create it, rather than leshy deciding the entirety of it for you, which he has done ( assuming from the scrybes since we don’t know much about how he took over inscryption ) and could do again. 

but, as resets go by, especially if you win against him instead of dying, he starts to become . . . more aggressive. it’s noticeable in his endgame dialogue, which i don’t have on hand, but as you best him over and over without progressing, he starts to grow frustrated with you. he gets angry when you refuse to eat ( even though we can’t, but still, it’s much more straightforward upset than ever before ) he seems more disheartened when you destroy the moon, but what i find most revealing is the deathcards. 

leshy says himself that to live as a beast is the most honorable fate he can see, both in act two and as he admits after winning against him without progressing, and how he doesn’t mean for the scrybes to feel trapped to this fate. of course, it’s completely reasonable they would—they’re contained in cards, and were put into them by force—but to leshy, this is the highest fate he could give them, a place on his board, to serve as a beast. he also does this to kaycee through a deathcard, and we can see from entries in kaycee’s mod that him and her became good friends. these deathcards are, inadvertently, a sign of respect to him. 

even if you fail, even if you trip flat on your face, leshy still finds it worth to immortalize you because you tried, and at least if you look through the awareness of the player’s eyes, knowing the challenger is the same person, it makes the finale that much more satisfying. when you initially fail to him, that’s what he feels—a sense of respect because not only are you the first challenger that he’s seen in who knows how long, but you tried, and that’s valuable. 

after you dying, you can choose, though from a limited selection, what stats you have, your sigils, your cost, your name. and then, you’ll be a card people can pick from forever. for as long as the copy of the game exists, people can see your card and know your name. you’re a beast, now. you’ve achieved the highest status he can give you. 

and then, look at the card you’re given if you win. it’s plain. you can’t chose your stats. sure, you’re a rare card, but you’re only asked your name. and if you look to the door, you can see that you can’t even read your name. i thought, initially, the number one medal would go up depending on how many times you have beaten him prior—like a counter of when you won—but, no. it stays. it’s the exact same for each deathcard. you won, but it’s a sour fate to him, and reflects his feelings to you. you can’t be used. no one can even see your name, just that you won, and what happens to people who win. 

with the dialogue you get during the deletion, if you chose him and still chose him for the final duel, along with just the heart-ripping “ please, we don’t need to keep score “ makes me feel as though he’s gained respect for the player, and genuinely had a great time playing his version of inscryption with you and trying to make you live. trying to give you a life and enjoyment even if he’s limited in the power he truly had to show you that. he values you as a person, as a challenger, and as a player in general, just as he values the scrybes. 

i wish the scrybes saw that, too, that leshy’s respect for them is reflected in the way that he still made them cards even if they were hidden, that they’re still playable when he could’ve degraded them to much worse. it doesn’t make their fate better, and it doesn’t make what he did better, either, but it’d be nice to know that he still cares, despite what he’s done. 

i just like how his respect and emotions towards you as the challenger are reflected through deathcards, and the fact he values them so much that his signature ambience track is literally called “ deathcard cabin. “ 

and, as an off note, since i wanted to say this too but didn’t want to break the odd flow, he reveals more about himself the more you win, after you win, without progressing. i’m not sure why? you could take it as caving in, or emotions, but i find it interesting as well. 

so yeah. dnd with a tree. 

[emmatgc]

Hi friend! Mm I have a question because I really don't understand and you analyze very well. I have seen posts saying that Tommy and Lizzie have a beautiful relationship, and that Tommy protects her a lot and that is what Lizzie needs, a love like that. Can you explain to me how they come to those interpretations, when Lizzie is suffering all the time, and bitter about her life and Tommy is completely distant, he is traveling all the time and he is with other women, and he is very unhappy in his life and in his home. What's so great about a marriage like that?

Thank you!

Hi friend! Thank you your question. My 1st question really haha Ill try. First of all, all their "interpretations" of their so called beautiful relationship are solely based on Lizzie's perspective or POV. Like, it is what lizzie needs, a love like that but how about Tommy, eh? See? already one sided. Second, I think they hold on to that "empathy" rope that clearly, we have to admit that Tommy cared for Lizzie as a friend or family, raising her status from a whore to a secretary. Though as a secretary she was still employed as his favorite whore, he still pays her so that relationship still though "caring" was still transactional. But for liz fans, that's progress. That's a development. Third, I also think that hold on to that "longer" years that Liz and Tommy know each other, again as his personal you know what. That is relationship to them and she got promoted. Fourth, all this boils down to them getting reckless and she ended up being pregnant and became the 2nd Mrs. Shelby. So, marriage it is. Not just relationship but marriage. Again, from the streets, to the table as a secretary to a wife of the most powerful man in Birmingham, progress, empathy and loyalty. Fifth, liz fans are like us loyal fans. They see her as a success story of getting what she wants. She got it and ironically, whines each and everytime. She knew what she got into yet still whines and for all the talk that Grace wanted Tommy to change, ehem Lizzie who they say knows the "real him" actually does a lot of whining for him to change. She doesn't get him at all. So, to add all this, basically for me, there was no healthy relationship nor a respectable and loving one. I disagree with the notion that they have a beautiful relationship. What they have was toxic and misery. What i can agree on is the fact that even Cillian said, loyalty, Liz was loyal to Cillian because he was her savior, she loves him. Hence, its for them understandable to be together for ruby and reward her for her loyalty.

Lastly, id like to make myself clear on this. Tommy tried to care and love Lizzie. They tried to make it work. But Tommy is Tommy. He rarely falls in love and when he dies, it goes deep. With liz it was very limited. He still uses her in their business and stuff not as equal partners I presume. A marriage more on paper. Yes, she was the longest "relationship" he had, transactional or not. But he was for the most part, a mean husband. A jerk, a cold and absentee husband and father. We always say, if SK chose to let Tommy fall in love again then by all means, we will accept even if it breaks our hearts because again that is the plot. We respect that and we are afterall sane people. But, it never materialize. Until the very end, Grace was cut above all the ladies and everybody else even his own family. To Fans or extremists of Lizzie should always ask themselves, if this was Grace, would he act like this? Would he cheat everytime? Would he leave after the funeral? Would he look like a 100 year old guy even if its Christmas? I know deep in their hearts they know the truth. They just couldn't accept and handle it. Grace even died and yet, Tommy x Liz were never EVER TRULY happy. He was never the same after Grace. What was everybody expecting after her death? Tommy went on with his life, he cannot stop but he was for the most part dead inside. Tommy didn't put forth the effort that lizzie needed. Its Tommy's fault not Grace though. Tommy simply refuses to love Liz the way a husband should. I for one was pitiful towards Liz in the later part. She suffered so much with Tommy. But to hell they call it a beautiful relationship and marriage? That is beyond me. But, again, its a free world, it is nice to express and i hope dear friend, i shed some light at least in their POV for us to co exist in this world. 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you again, my friend! ❤️