#I know my identity and hobby your shit talking can be weird to you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

northwest-cryptid · 8 months ago

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Curious about the VRChat equality thing

Oh boy time to get into weird shit about how capitalism infects the brain through being able to benefit from it and how despite the stigma, even pirates and communists believe people deserve fair compensation for goods and labor but what is fair is an often debated topic.

So this is going to be a really long post if I'm actually being entirely honest, and as such I will give you a tl;dr up front, however I will say that if all you read is the tl;dr you're going to maybe understand about 15% of the overall situation on this and that's merely because there's no way to explain everything without giving a ton of context and information first and then going into dumb details about it all.

TL;DR essentially people took a model of a communist utopia, learned they could profit from it; and then capitalism took hold and is now destroying not only an entire application through basically micro dosing on micro-transactions, but also through creating extremely hefty barriers of entry to an already expensive hobby that once existed in a way that equalized people.

Now to actually get into the meat and potatoes of what I'm actually talking about here. If you've followed me for any amount of time you likely know the drill by now, I'm putting a "Keep Reading" here to save everyone's dashboards in case you don't already use the feature that automatically scrunches long posts since this is likely going to be pretty hefty as I'm fairly passionate about it and have a lot to say.

I ask that if you've made it this far, and actually clicked the keep reading button; that you stick with me and don't go skipping all over the place. I say this because I'm going to start off pretty boring and seemingly off topic but I promise this is all important for understanding my views on this topic; if you don't agree with me that's totally fine but I ask that you at least try to understand how I'm looking at this from my specific viewpoint.

Point 1 - We are all equal in the eyes of the Internet.

The internet, yea? It's kind of weird to talk about the internet because different people will see it as a different thing. Some of us may see it as nothing more than a collection of data that can be updated, called, and sent between a shared network all over the world. That alone is pretty cool, but others of us may see it as a visible extension of cyberspace. I'm somewhere in the middle myself, I feel as though people ask too much of cyberspace. While I won't get into it here, I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of things like "phantom sense" as VR becomes more of an accessible thing for people, I've found that specific subcultures begin to pop-up, and among them there are people who desperately want Virtual Reality to simply drop the "virtual" and become akin to meatspace.

Now if you're asking me, I personally think that much of the appeal of cyberspace comes specifically from the "cyber" part. Virtual Reality is inherently Virtual and there's nothing actually lesser or wrong about that. People gauge much of Virtual Reality AGAINST Physical Reality, which is dumb. They're both their own reality, why do we want them to be functionally identical, we could make use of so much of what Virtual Reality has to offer if we embrace that it's Virtual. Let's take a quick moment and think about that, what does it mean to be Virtual? To exist within a digital realm?

Well here's a thought experiment for you, let's say I take you and 9 other willing participants and put you all inside different rooms. In these rooms you have nothing but a computer and a desk. On that computer you can access a virtual chat room, there are no profiles, no images or avatars; you merely choose a name to represent yourself and are dropped into a chatroom with 9 other people.

How old are the other participants? Are they around your age group? Are you even aware of their age? Does it matter to you? Did it matter before I asked?

Following this line of thinking, let's look at some other features, are they all the same gender, or different genders? How tall are they? Do they come from a wealthy family? Do they have a job? Are they perhaps disabled at all, in any way? Do they make a lot of money if they do have a job?

I do ask these questions genuinely, so to make this little thought experiment easier to manage let's have you think of this; narrow the number from 10 participants to just 3, you're 1 of them so there are two other people here with you. You cannot physically see them, and everything from their usernames to their appearance is up to your personal interpretation. So I ask you to look over those questions and give them even a baseline answer, it doesn't need to be elaborate; you don't need to give it a lot of thought. You're not making a D&D character with a lengthy backstory. For anyone who said "I'm not doing that" I'll do it as well right here for you, you can ignore this if you wish to do this yourself; I do believe it's important to making my own.

The first other participant other than myself will be an older woman in her late 50s who works as a butcher, she lives a fairly average life; she has a roommate to help pay the bills as she is lower middle class. Even living in a fairly average home, renting no less; she has to save up for any purchases that aren't absolutely necessary for survival.

The other individual I am in this chatroom with is a younger nonbinary individual who claims to be 23, they don't currently have a job as they're studying and attending law school. They come from a wealthy family and while not rich; do enjoy a life as an upper middle class household. Despite their hefty schooling costs they're never short on money to pay for things they want.

Alright cool, now I know who I'm here with; and you know who you're here with, so here's the most important question to ask.

...Does any of that really matter here?

This isn't a deep philosophical conversation, it's a very simple question. Let me elaborate.

Does age define knowledge? Not really, it can help understand something better if you've spent a lot of time with a specific field of study, and yes our brains pick up knowledge better at certain age ranges, but overall it has no real merit over how well we can navigate something. If a 50 year old and a 20 year old are both passionate about learning how to model an avatar, script a code; or exist within a VR space they'll both be able to do so roughly just as well as the other. Sure we're all human and have our own quirks we work through, someone might pick up something far easier than someone else. However the capability to learn is always there.

Does money carry any weight in a digital world? Well, here in this chatroom no. It really doesn't. There's no pay to win system in a social setting like this. Having $1 to my name, or a million doesn't make a difference. I'm not able to see what computers everyone else has, perhaps someone has a really fancy, fast, nice computer; while I'm working with something a little more "run of the mill" but at the end of the day they both access the same internet data.

Things like money, age, physical ability, even social or economic standing; they have no real sway over the virtual. Not unless you account for third party outside influences.

Point 2 - But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge.

So now let's go back to a simpler time on the internet, when VR was still new and we all had to pay upwards of $200 - $300 and even sometimes $400 to strap an oversized projector to our face so we could experience what it's like to have a monitor not even inches from our face. Applications like VRChat were all the rage because most VR applications and games felt more like tech demos, people didn't know how to use the tech yet and most actual home VR headsets were development kits.

VRChat was fairly open source at the time, lending most of it's success to a community building assets, systems, and avatars for their own use within the application.

As with any good open source application a lot of the files and thus the understanding for how things worked were being shared around and people began to notice a pattern as with any form of labor.

Not everyone wanted to put in the time and effort to actually learn. In fact plenty of people who were purchasing VR headsets were fairly wealthy people, sure not everyone; some people got them as gifts or saved up money over the course of a long time; or they'd use large sum of money given during tax returns or holidays as a means to purchase a VR headset while they were on sale.

However yes, a lot of people had a lot of money sitting around and wouldn't mind throwing a couple bucks your way if you were willing to go through the trouble of making them an avatar, world; or asset.

Now, this isn't anything bad on the surface; but it poisoned the well and it began the conflict.

"So you're saying artists commissioned work is bad and it should all be free and artists should starve." Only as much as I'm saying we should piss on the poor. Which is to say, no I'm not saying that; but if you jumped on that train immediately I don't blame you for thinking I'm going there, but bear with me.

As time went on and we developed more and more for VRchat's main engine; we also developed tools like Udon; a scripting language made for VRChat specifically. The ways in which we could customize avatars, worlds, and even assets was ever changing and it seemed like it was only getting more and more complex.

So what happened? Did people provide tools, lessons; and understanding to those around them in hopes there were others who would pick up the knowledge and create brilliant things to continue the ever exponential progress?!

No. Well yes, but mostly no. See some people did in fact provide easy to follow tutorials! You can find plenty out there, at least for basic things; but many saw the chance to really make a point with this.

A point that they understood the system, and you did not.

A point that you were better off paying them for the things they know and you don't.

A point that you should never question them, and that if you fuck up it's your own fault and maybe next time you'll listen.

If you think I'm exaggerating you should consider yourself lucky to have not come face to face with the truly disgusting underbelly of asset sales.

See I don't mind selling goods and services; I am an artist myself and I believe fair compensation is important! If someone likes what you're selling and deems it a fair price that's great, that's a win win; everyone's happy.

However what if the person purchasing your wares doesn't understand their value?

Asset flipping is something we see a lot of, done entirely legally through fair use mind you. People will buy assets along with their commercial license, and then quickly and easily slap those assets onto an amalgamation of other cheap gimmicks only to sell the new model at a profit from it's component parts.

"But that's how things are sold Cryptid, what's so weird about that?"

Well, okay let's look at how sales in physical space works right?

If I buy a single banana, and that costs me $1; then to turn a profit I'll need to sell it for something like $1.25 this is literally just because once you buy my banana, I don't have any more bananas to sell.

So if I sell the banana for $1 I'm at a net neutral, I don't have the ability to generate any additional funds off the single banana I've bought. So let's say I buy 4, I sell each for 1.25 and all 4 sell, now I can buy an additional 1 and I've only made .25 cents.

Well shit, it looks like I need to hike the price by a decent margin if I'm actually going to make any sort of sustainable income from selling bananas right?

But what happens if we say, I have 1 banana that generates infinite bananas. I bought my infinite banana generator for $25 + Tax. Now I could say I want to sell my bananas for $30 because I had to pay $25 to get this one.

However, I can also make infinite bananas, and if my bananas are good quality; they should sell out; or at least sell a decent amount. So rather than pricing a single banana higher than the original price, I should logically sell my bananas a lot cheaper; let's say I sell them for a simple $1.25 same as before. Once I've sold about 20-ish bananas I'll have not only made my money back, but I'll likely have made a small bit of profit.

"But Cryptid, you could have made way more from selling even one single banana at $30! Why gamble on 20 people buying a banana instead of just selling the one!?"

Because if I sell my banana at $30, but you can buy an infinite banana generator for only $25, what's stopping you... wait... what's stopping you from-

No. Hold on you don't know how it works! You couldn't possibly use the banana generator like I can!

NO DON'T GO LOOKING AT THE SOURCE SALES, SURE I LEGALLY HAVE TO CREDIT THE BANANA GENERATOR BUT-

Listen to me it's a very difficult device to understand! You don't have the years of understanding I do! You should pay me instead! You'll only fuck it up! You'll WASTE YOUR MONEY if you buy it from the original creator!

IT'S ME BOY THE PS5!-

Ahem, sorry I got a little sidetracked there. My point with all of this is how digital sales work far differently given that I'm not actually giving up any resources when I make a sale, the product is infinite; and I could sell it over and over again. So selling it for less than it's component parts is essentially saving my buyers some money over buying each individual part and putting it together themselves. I save them time as well since I'd likely have put together all the shaders, blend trees for emotes, menus and submenus for toggles- oh no... hold on why is that still pink? OH MOTHERFUC-

Point 3 - Missing and Outdated scripts, assets, shaders, and best of all fear mongering!

See a big part of this whole sales concept for virtual good comes from the idea that if I sell you an avatar, world, or asset; I'm selling you a completed product. Something I devoted my time and expertise to that you may not have to devote to it. So then what happens when I no longer allow you to contact me for support, and half the product is missing? Well there's no refund policy on the website I use so uh, tough.

This is unfortunately very common. Outdated scripts never being updated while assets still remain up for sale with scripts in them that will absolutely DESTROY your project unless you specifically dedicate time to going through your files with not only an understanding of what each file controls, but also the surgical precision to remove the files in such a way that doesn't accidentally trigger a chain reaction.

Because believe it or not, most of the avatars, worlds, and assets for sale are not ACTUALLY quality made models.

"But Cryptid, the artist sets the price and the consumer deems it fair when they purchase the goods!"

Correct! However, at what point do we argue for false advertisement?

Not only are many of the avatars, worlds; and assets for sale priced at insane prices (we're talking upwards up $150 - $460 for some) but most of these avatars, worlds, and assets do not disclose important information about their products that consumers should be allowed to know prior to purchase. Like how in some cases a file is so big that it can take more than 2 real life days of uninterrupted loading and then still crash unity. Enjoy your $460 world map that doesn't have active support, says you're shit out of luck if you fuck up importing it at all; and doesn't actually load because don't forget, there's no refund policy.

So let's say an avatar, world, or asset DOES actually import correctly.

Once you get through all the fear mongering about how you need to import the model, and no I'm not joking; people are openly lying in their readme files to scare people into following useless instructions.

i.e according to one readme if you import the shaders after the avatar your entire project will become corrupt beyond saving and you'll need to restart from scratch. In reality shaders automatically update if a model calls for them; so importing the shader at any point would simply just update the model to use the correct shaders. In that same vein let's address "YOU NEED TO START A NEW PROJECT, DO NOT IMPORT THIS AVATAR INTO AN EXISTING PROJECT OR IT WILL FUCK UP AND I WILL NOT HELP YOU" guess what? I tested it, like any other avatar/model importing the unity package at any point in the project just, you know; imports it.

I have also heard stories of people saying there are scripts in the unity files that can corrupt your computer's core files if you don't follow their instructions SPECIFICALLY, which A. isn't true; and B. why are you selling what you basically call a potential trojan?

So anyways, once you get through all the fear mongering about how you clearly can't do anything on your own (literally one of the readmes had a link to visit the site that tells you how to log into your account. For reference/context you're not even allowed to get to this point and upload an avatar/world until you've logged into VRChat and been an active user for about a week. They talk down to you and treat you like you're stupid because they rely on you NEEDING them to tell you exactly how to navigate this "super scary" application otherwise you wouldn't pay them upwards of $80 for a model they basically took from other people and used a plugin to glue together.) You can now look over your avatar/world, since you've managed to do the unthinkable and import a unity asset pack correctly!

Not all assets are made equal, and I think it's very important to understand that while yes the artist and consumer enter into an agreement over price that they both deem fair; it's important to understand how capitalism comes in many forms.

In this case I've noticed that Gumroad recycles almost all of their assets from other people on the website, and their models are extremely sub par when you compare them with far cheaper models on Booth. While some Gumroad shops do link back to their Booth counterparts, a lot seem to want this to remain a eldritch knowledge.

So on the off chance everything just works, you're good to go; congratulations I genuinely hope you enjoy your likely overpriced avatar because ultimately that's what matters, if you're happy with what you paid for then there's no harm done.

However in more cases than I care to admit, the readme will tell you to go buy various other plugins and asset packs to make the thing you just bought work.

Now as an example of how to do this right, and it's still shitty; but at least I think it's done right. There's a fishing system for sale that directly mentions in it's website based description that you'll need two other asset packs, those both being linked. Here's the hard part to justify though, for the system itself is about $23 after conversion, the other two asset packs are respectively $50 and $10, so in total something you thought would only be $23 is about $83 if you want it to actually be functional.

Now again in that case everything is listed on the website clear as day and this is at least generally how I see things being listed which is okay with me. However I've seen more cases than I care to admit where this information is advertised as "this avatar has XYZ" and then in the readme says "you'll need to purchase XYZ from [User] to get the XYZ system working!" So now we have false advertisement AND hidden fees?!

When avatars can cost more than $250 and not be a unique model of your own OC or something commissioned and still be missing additional features, sometimes shaders; which require a monthly patreon subscription to access. Only to then see that the avatar/world/asset comes with a ton of stipulations and regulations of use? It's all very hard to figure out what "fair" is anymore.

It may just be my opinion, but when someone sells me something I expect it to be a complete thing that I then own, not something I'm not "legally allowed to edit" or that isn't entirely completed and that I'd need to go purchase additional things for.

Important reminder here, all of this is for a VR application where you just kinda vibe and hang out in a virtual space. People are happy to pay expensive prices for good quality, but few people are willing to deliver good quality; fewer without a ton of rules and restrictions.

Literally not but a week ago my partner was looking at an avatar that specifically said VIEWING the blend shapes was "breaking terms of service" so that's cool. For the record blend shapes are literally just adjustable values most people use for editing an avatar without needing to mess with the mesh. It allows you to hide parts of the avatar so that clothing will fit over the mesh without clipping, or lets you easily adjust face shape to better manage your expressions or facial features.

Can we also quickly touch on the fact that I was helping a friend edit something on their avatar, and found out that the person they bought it from had positioned an entire 3D watermark of their username inside the head of the model which;

they bought the base from someone else. they bought the clothing from someone else. they bought the gimmicks and additional features from someone else. All they did was actually slap it all together.

"Yea but that takes effort" no it really doesn't see that's the thing about Avatar creation, the more you know the less any of this makes sense!

There's a plugin called Modular Avatar, it basically does all the work for you, all you have to do is select the clothing, hair, whatever you want to add to your model; right click it and select modular avatar's "setup outfit" button. It then manages all the bones for you!

This person put more effort into branding the model than they put into putting the avatar together!

I know this because while working on adding one thing to the model, one of it's core outdated scripts fucked up and caused a bunch of issues that we managed to work around by literally never allowing the avatar to enter play mode. Which makes it significantly harder to work with, so we're using two variations of the same project open at the same time, one of which is entirely fucked; but lets us nab values from the avatar while it's in play mode; the other can never enter play mode and must continue to contain a broken and outdated script; because removing it causes the blendshapes to entirely fuck up.

This would be like if I went to google images, found a bunch of pictures of anime characters; slapped one of their heads on another ones body, took another one's hair and slapped it over top, poorly merged all the layers together and then aggressively plastered my signature on it while also totally admitting where I got all the art.

Now I do admit there's a little bit of weird grey area here, see no one is commissioning these avatars; they're just up for sale. So someone who buys it is saying they feel like purchase of this avatar as it is, is entirely fair for the price. Whether or not that's true is besides the point because you could argue that the buyer wasn't forced to pay for something if they didn't want it.

But like, let's do a quick simulation...

Hi welcome to my Gumroad shop, $30 please.

What do you mean you do not want... uh... Shipiku my totally original avatar I made (with assets from other creators) for like $30?! HE HAS GIMMICKS.

...Okay yea looking at that image is physically painful to me, I have created something truly horrific. We should move on, to my favorite part of all of this which is-

Point 4 - The Eroticism Elitist-ism of the Machine!

With the Oculus Quest being a more budget friendly VR Headset for people to pick up more and more people got into VR and thus VRChat by extension. So how did VRChat respond? By making the Unplugged Quest basically the standard for "good quality" which means that a ton of worlds and avatars just won't be accessible to the VR equivalent of taping a chromebook to your face; and yet that will be the new norm. This created a pretty sizable divide in how things function. Now you have a camp of people who refuse to even permit entry to their private worlds unless your avatar is rated "good" because of "performance issues" but why would they care about cramming so many people into their world?

Oh... it's because they are monetizing access. Yea, of course they want everyone to have access to their world, the only way to get in is to know someone who's already in, or sleuth around until you find their discord; then you need to boost their discord and more often than not pay either micro-transactions inside VRChat (because that's a thing now) or pay directly through patreon/donations to the world creator.

On the other hand you have some creators who outright refuse to let quest users access their world. Even though technically the world is optimized enough that a quest user COULD access the world, there are scripts that have been implemented into various worlds that are outright hostile towards quest users, where if it detects you're using a oculus quest headset that isn't plugged into a computer; you'll essentially not be able to interact with the world. There are many ways this is accomplished, in some cases it's literally just having hostile entities that cause you to constantly respawn, other times it's more directly just moving your spawn point to a box way off the map so you're effectively locked behind a prison you can't respawn out of.

As you can imagine there's a good bit of elitism on both sides. Which yes, is just another way people are gatekeeping VR behind a paywall. Not only do you need an expensive headset, but you better buy "the right one" not to mention you'll likely want to/need to pick up full body tracking, and pay a considerable entry fee or upkeep fee to a good handful of private worlds.

"but Cryptid, people are allowed to charge for access to things they create, that's just business!" Yea I'm not saying it's not allowed, I'm saying it's shitty.

I don't insert these blurbs as though I feel like you, the reader; are ALWAYS aggressively saying these things while reading my post. I put these here because they're things I've been told before, and they're things I want to address. So please understand that these aren't hypothetical cases of arguments in my head; nor are they meant to project any personality onto you.

That in mind, let's address this; I'm not saying people aren't allowed to seek capital investment in their hobbies. Obviously as a streamer I would love if people donated to me. However this is more akin to locking my streams behind a paywall, again; totally legal and totally allowed but still kind of a dick move. Why do I have so much problem with it? Well let me explain it this way

I work at an escape room, my CEO once asked my manager what the difference between a group of 7 and a group of 2 was. My manager confidently responded "we make more money from a group of 7" to which the CEO corrected him "no, there is no difference. We do not use any more or less resources, we don't take more time to reset the room; there is no difference." We have also been asked if a group of 2, and a group of 7 come in at the same time; who do we prioritize? The answer? Whoever booked first.

What's the core concept here? Well it's a simple ideology, if we don't use any resources hosting a group, there is no difference between groups; if someone took the time to book with us earlier, we see to them earlier. It's basic logic that we take into account the care that someone has put into being here, and also what we lose in providing them the service of our escape room.

So let's apply this to a private VRChat world.

Remember, VRChat hosts these servers, so I'm not paying any upkeep costs for having an active world. Considering how scripts and programming work I have little need to pay someone to monitor or moderate my world; especially considering I do not take responsibility for the acts of those who visit my world.

Then what is the difference between a private and a public instance of my world?

Well, I'll tell you because there actually IS a difference here.

See private worlds have two very special properties.

Public display, whether streamed to an audience or done in a public world; of any NSFW imagery or behavior will result in a ban. The important take away here is if this is done in PUBLIC. Private worlds and instances are exempt from this. VRChat doesn't care what you do in private as long as it's not being streamed publicly.

Likewise, Private worlds require access to be granted via someone already in the world, and the only people who can access the private world are it's creators. Meaning that if someone wants into my world they HAVE to go through me. If I make it public, then anyone is allowed to access the world, and even host their own private instances of my world. There's one more thing about this that people don't like but we'll get into that a bit later because that's going to be a pretty lengthy discussion.

So what IS the difference? Is it just that you can partake in NSFW shit in a private world? Well, kind of; but it's more that second point that's important.

People understand that VRChat as a whole is a very, let's just say passionate place when it comes to ERP. I have no judgement on the topic, but I think the exploitation of it is a bit unnecessary. By which I mean the hosting of private worlds designed specifically to be clubs, sex parties, or otherwise exclusive NSFW events that people must pay to access. Now obviously any NSFW world is going to be private, but not all require the use of financial compensation to access.

If you're wondering how I know all this:

A. I frequent NSFW communities, my side gig is literally adult animation. Who cares. B. I have a lot of friends who participate in that sort of thing, I personally live with my partner and while I do understand the appeal of that sort of thing, it doesn't really interest me.

Regardless, it's not exclusive to NSFW worlds, more so that those are the ones I've seen asking extreme prices.

More often than not it's done through patreon, you are given a special role in a discord or you're given access to secret worlds if you pay enough monthly, with some worlds stating that for $100+ a month you can have your picture in the world. Yes, a picture; of your avatar; in an exclusive paywalled world... for $100.

Again I know this goes back to "if the consumer and the seller deem it fair blah blah blah" but if you're still arguing that, you're missing the grander point here.

If that's the case allow me a moment to try to make sense of a summary:

the internet is a place where we leave behind any inequality; a place where you and I, no matter our background, financial situations; or social standing, are equals. We bear no difference in status; only in interests. That is, unless I have access to parts of the internet you do not.

So you pay $499.99 for a headset, congratulations; you had to get a cheaper model because it's what you could afford. Now you're the target of much harassment and general dislike as you bought "the wrong headset" without consideration for how you'd be treated for it. You can't access much of the virtual net, so you decide to spend even more money to buy a few accessories; a cable that will link you directly to your computer for example (or better wifi if you use the wifi link, which yes; good internet also costs money and isn't available to everyone depending on their location. Again it's inequality.)

Now you blend in, you appear to be a PC user like anyone else, congratulations you now have access to almost just about everything, except you don't. You try to join me in a world only to see I'm in a "private instance" and my social obligations say I'm not allowed to answer your invitation request because you didn't pay to be here. I send you a discord link, it's to some random group you've never heard of, you need to join this if you want access to this one world. You can live without it, so you don't click it.

The next day you see I'm again, in a private world. You go to a few public worlds and find they're mostly populated by younger children, random people who don't want to talk to you; and most only have 1 - 2 people, with most instances of even the popular worlds being set to private. So what do you do? You ask to join me, and I again; send you a different link this time. A patreon link, that states you can gain access to the world I'm in for $10 a month, payment up front; and then you'll need to get approved through a discord.

Oh but you can't show up like this, your avatar quality is "poor" you'll need to optimize that. Looking it up online most people say to buy something off Gumroad or Booth, so you look; most avatars are extremely sexualized; the ones you can find aren't "good" quality nor are they optimized and some are outdated by a few years.

Eventually you find one that's not horrible; it's an extra $25. At this point you're paying the following, grabbing these numbers directly from the internet mind you:

$499.99 for a headset. $79.99 for a link cable (it doesn't even charge the headset) $24.99 for an avatar that is allowed on the world. $10 a month for access to the world. Oh but wait, you're not assured a slot in the private world; it can only support up to 30 people per instance and if you want to reserve a spot you need to boost the discord server, so let's tack on nitro as well, and extra $9.99 per month.

Even if you only do these as a one time payment to access this world once. Here's what you're out, in total: $624.96 before even factoring in taxes.

All of this, so you can experience a few hours of hanging out with a friend. Well, was it worth it? Let's see;

In America, the average hourly wage (not minimum, average) across all 50 states is $29.81 as of December 2020. You can look that up if you'd like I found this number via Indeed so grain of salt and all that.

But let's go ahead and say it's $30 an hour. Now for the record, most people I know work for far less, but we're not concerning ourselves with minimum wage just yet, but we will.

So if you're making $30 an hour, and you need to reach a total of (again rounding to be fair here) $625 and we're not accounting for tax eating half your pay, we're looking at:

((30 an hour * 8 hours per day) * 5 days a week)

or 240*5 = $1200 a week.

Well hey that's not so bad! You make enough in a WEEK to almost buy this all twice o-oh no. I didn't think about cost of living...

Well no this is fine let's just check the average rent!

A quick internet search will tell us "The average rent for an apartment in the U.S. is $1,718."

Well... okay, that sucks. How much is gas right now? Right okay well Forbes says "today's average price of gas in the U.S. is $3.47 per gallon" and I need about 30 gallons per tank, and I need to get gas about twice a month, I live about 15 minutes from my work and I drive a fairly fuel efficient car but that's still roughly $208 I'm spending on gas each month.

What about groceries? Again a quick search says "on average, Americans spent $779 per month on food in 2022" which means we're looking at, without even factoring in utilities, taxes, or ANY leisure activities a grand total of roughly $2,705 per month?!

This mind you, is the AVERAGE. We're low balling some of those prices and not even caring about taxes, fees, and utilities.

But hey it's okay we're making 1,200 per week! So we take that number and multiply it by 4! That means before taxes we're left with 4,800!

Hey speaking of, how does that work? Let's do another average!

Well it turns out because of how taxes work averages are hard, but I'm seeing that about 13.3% is a safe bet, so let's go with that.

13.3% of 4800 = 0.133 × 4800 = 638.4

okay, that's not TOO bad right? That leaves us with 4161.6 and then we can pay the monthly costs which leaves us with $1,456.6

Alright so now we can afford rent, gas, groceries, taxes, the works! Plus we have enough left over to pay for our fancy headset, an avatar, and access to a world, plus nitro and... jesus that's a lot isn't it?

What are we left with after all of this? $831.64

I sure hope you don't have any student loans, no credit card payments; no other obligations.

You're left with less money for the month than you made in a day of work.

"Okay sure, but the bulk of that comes from the headset!" Correct again!

One of the cheaper headsets available at that!

But did you notice that the average person would only be able to scrape by if they went out of their way to purchase something and jump through all these hoops? All for what? Paying an extra roughly $45 (20 of which renews every month) for basic access to the thing they bought the $500 headset for? That's considering the avatar you bought was actually only $25, actually still functional; and has everything included with it.

I won't make us run all the numbers again, but I want you to consider that minimum wage in America is $7.25 or just $290 before tax PER WEEK.

Let's contextualize that...

an avatar that costs $25? That's 3.44 hours. $10 access to patreon? 1.37 Tack on another 1.37 for nitro boosting.

Total cost for that $45? 6.18 hours of work before tax.

Now if you're lucky enough to have a full time job, that's not TOO bad; but this is also just for one singular world. For one singular avatar.

Remember, the cost of living stays the same; the price of gas doesn't change just because you don't get paid as much as the guy at the pump over from yours.

Working at minimum wage you'll make $1,160 a month again; before taxes. That's not even enough to cover the average cost of rent.

So if you don't make enough money to splurge on patreon and discord access, I guess you're just going to have to stick to public lobbies.

Again, it's possible; and it's legal, and that's all fine and whatever.

It's not about whether you CAN; it's about whether you should HAVE TO.

Not only is it true that not everyone can, but I genuinely don't believe anyone should have to.

It's not that I don't believe people should be paid for their hard work, or that some work doesn't "deserve compensation" rather I believe equality extends to things like paywalls.

There have been studies that prove that piracy drops the second people can afford a product. Using a piracy as a "try before you buy" format is one of the most popular; and we see this being so prevalent because for so many people, money is just so tight they can't afford the luxury of leisure activities.

Technically speaking you can access VRChat without the need for a VR Headset, however most worlds are designed around the headset and hand controls. Furthermore, arbitrary rules being held by people with private worlds allow creators to literally make the demand that you use a VR Headset and in some cases you'll not be allowed in the main instance of a private event unless you have full body tracking; which can cost upwards from $300+

Which yes, does in fact mean that gatekeeping doesn't just stop at the paywall, it extends to the disabled.

Imagine if you will, being turned away from a private event that you paid money to go to; just because of the fact you happen to be in a wheelchair and not have the ability to use leg tracking. You love to see ableism slipping into "quality control" don't ya?

Okay so what all do we know now? Let's quickly recap before I get to my last point because boy is this one gonna be a doozy and I want to make sure we're all on the same page before I break that ice and dive into that iceberg never to be heard from again.

For starters we understand that, as far as the internet is concerned; we're all equals. Money, social standing; even your background don't really mean anything here. You're an identity you put forward, allowed to be whoever and whatever you want. Chatrooms, forums, blogs, video games; these things DO but shouldn't; gatekeep their communities by putting up paywalls quite often. This is generally frowned upon more often than it's not, even when it's understood.

We know even when a company states they need to charge membership for the sake of keeping a game running or keeping a website up; we still frown upon the idea of a company gatekeeping content or usability behind a paywall. Yet in spaces like VRChat this gatekeeping is often disguised behind the idea of fair market trading and "supporting indie developers" which in some cases, is actually what's going on, and in others is sleazy cover from the likes of people like me who will point out when putting up a paywall and making demands of your users is, while totally legal and technically allowed; STILL just as shitty.

Which brings us to our next point, which is that even among that market; we have extremely overpriced and broken avatars, worlds, and assets; many of which don't come as a complete package requiring you to obtain other goods and services from other creators to get them working; most of what you can find is a jumbled mess of other people's stuff, haphazardly thrown together and thrown at you for a quick buck, a typically overpriced quick buck at that. With extremely predatory fear mongering designed to keep you from exploring unity and the VRChat Creator Companion to possibly find out how to do things yourself, because remember that this is all absolutely just wizard magic and if you fuck it up your computer will catch on fire and open a portal to hell and then slenderman will come out and Jeff the kill you! Or... you might need to restart unity or something, yea that's more likely... Oh and speaking of actually using VRChat!

Most of the actual populated worlds are hidden behind discords, patreons; or other paywalls. With most public worlds including additional features only available via patreon or by purchasing a subscription through in app micro-transactions. With costs for something as simple as having your picture presented in a world costing as much as $100 per month in same cases. If you attempt to go the route of using the non-VR app you'll likely face elitist gatekeeping where map creators do not want "ugly default posing avatars" in their private worlds they charge people to get into, so you'll still not be let in unless you buy a proper headset, and no; they don't mean the cheap ones, unless you're willing to purchase an additional attachment to make it function just like the $1,000 alternatives. Even then you may STILL be kept from the "main" instance if you don't have additional $300+ full body tracking in some cases.

So then, what do you do?

If you want to enjoy the absolute brilliance of VR in the modern era, if you want to see what it's like and experience it before capitalism chokes even more life out of it where are you to turn?

Point 5 - AHOY! WE BE COMMUNIST PIE RATERS ON THIS HERE INTERNET, TAKE YOUR CAPITALISTIC ASS BACK TO YOUR 9-5!

I have never seen such hatred and fear for anything like I have for piracy in the VRChat community.

Now this might largely stem from the idea of "rippers" people who literally rip assets live, this is why a lot of people won't put their worlds up for the public. Because they fear someone will come along and just reupload their world; and I think that's really silly because if you pay attention, it happens and it doesn't change anything because the people who are actually going to publicly available worlds continue to access the same publicly available worlds they've been going to, rather than reuploads. Most people use favorites lists or find a world through a creator, so reuploading the world will only really fool maybe a small handful of new first time users into maybe actually spending some money on a micro-transaction for a reuploaded world. Which can easily be remedied by getting rid of micro-transactions and instead maybe relying on a direct donation system if anything.

People are very up in arms about people ripping avatars and assets; and the reasons for this branch from "that's stealing" to "it's a violation of someone's personal identity!" Which sure, I can understand that somewhat.

So here's the other thing to consider, the majority of models; including "unique models" are actually just pretty simple edits or whatever of existing models.

You may not believe me, so here's a quick example:

Popular Vtuber and Twitch personality Filian!

Great model, absolutely stellar work on this one; and I am not joking, I'm not being sarcastic. Yea, I love Jingo's work... what? You thought Filian made that herself? Oh no wait you likely thought it was commissioned right? Like she had this made specific for her?

Nah she's using a Rindo base!

AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING!

JINGO is a great avatar maker, and Filian has done some minor edits to the $46 avatar:

Oh huh? Yea no you heard me correctly, Rindo is only $46 USD.

She comes with a few toggles for outfits, she has plenty of blendshapes (and JINGO won't yell at you for adjusting them), she even comes with her own custom emojis and voice clips! Really easy to edit features and tons of clothing that is very affordable you can easily set up using modular avatar.

If you're not a fan of her base, you could use a Moe, or maybe a Selestia base fits you better, or a Kikyo; oh you want a male avatar? Try Minase he's pretty good as a base, he's the male counterpart of the female base; Shinra! All of these base models come complete with everything you need baked right in, or if they do need a shader; it's entirely free for download and the link is provided; the prices for these? Roughly range around $50 entirely affordable, easily editable; you can make your own entirely unique avatar right now using any of these as a base.

"Cryptid I thought you were talking about Rippers! Where's the PIRACY!"

Oh well, do you remember what I said before? When you make something affordable people will still buy it. There's a ton of places where these models are available for download whether or not you wish to buy them from their proper respective shops. However most people I've spoken to admit they go back and purchase the base after making their model with it because "it's affordable, a fair price for what you're getting; and the bases are very good quality!" Couldn't agree more.

But I also say this because if we humor the idea that someone rips Filian's avatar, what do they really get? They get a free Rindo with minor changes. They didn't hurt Filian, they hurt JINGO if anything; and even then "piracy is a victimless crime" applies here as well.

I will say I don't really endorse the idea of ripping things live, but the idea that live ripping is any different than piracy is also a little silly if I'm being honest.

When you build a 10 foot paywall to entry, people are going to build an 11 foot ripping tool to get over it. That IS the internet, and I wouldn't care if there wasn't such a big stink about rippers and piracy in general when it came to VRChat.

There's this idea that if you pirate something you're stealing from a small indie creator uwu and that's bad because now they can afford to eat because you were greedy! Or this concept that by pirating something and using it on your avatar, in a world; even if they'll never know, even if you're only using the models privately, you have in some way violated their privacy and commit identity theft.

As someone who has actually been the victim of identity theft multiple times, let me tell you right now, unless someone uses my avatar to specifically open another 5 Verizon accounts in my name I don't really care.

This is the only time in my life I've seen the internet HATE piracy so fervently and it made me wonder why; until I recognized that the loudest people were in the readmes of those gumroad avatars, the loudest voices weren't the creators of popular bases or models like Rindo, Kikyo, or Selestia; they were people on gumroad who fear monger and spread this message that "if you didn't pay for this avatar I will block you from my discord, ban you from ever accessing my world, and you'll never be able to buy from me again!" Like okay man I'll just go directly to the source you buy everything from get over yourself, guess I won't give you money for another overpriced avatar with awful optimization then.

When I listen to the way people talk about piracy in VRChat it's never seen as a victimless crime, it's never seen as being a normal thing the internet does, it's seen as a vile, evil; horrible soulless act of devilish greed! But they all share a common word that being "my" or "your" when people talk about it they say "yea rippers will reupload YOUR world without any care" or "yea someone took MY asset and reuploaded it on a file sharing site"

It's personal.

"Okay what about you Cryptid wouldn't you be mad if-" No.

Let me make this abundantly clear, if I ever made something for VRChat, an avatar, a world, whatever. I don't care what it is; if I made something and I put it out there on a site for like $5 and then I saw it on a website with someone saying "hey does anyone have this? I want it buy I can't afford it/don't want to pay for it." I am NOT fucking with you, I would simply answer the post myself and say "yea here ya go, if you need any help getting it set up let me know; I made it. If you ever feel like tossing me a donation or tip I'd appreciate it but don't worry if you can't afford it."

BECAUSE THAT'S COMMUNISM BAY-BEE.

I have, in the past; and even now, benefit from piracy. I'm pretty sure most people have. The only way I will ever listen to someone tell me piracy is wrong and bad and evil, is if they have literally NEVER benefit from any form of piracy, communism, or sharing of files and information; and even then I will simply understand that their opinion comes from a place of privilege.

I don't at all find it surprising that most of the people complaining about rippers and pirates come from:

Countries with good economies where they can actually afford shit (such as Norway)

Sites where they're allowed to sell the models at an extreme premium and offer no refund policy.

And that my friends, is just the tip of the iceberg of shit that goes on in Virtual Reality spaces regarding paywalling; gatekeeping, and general capitalistic bullshit.

Remember, piracy is all well and good when it benefits me, but if you want to take what I'm selling for significantly too much money, you're a soulless vile creature and I will make sure everyone knows it!

^ That's sarcasm if anyone out there has the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension.

I'm going to go eat a burger and touch grass.

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archivalofsins · 4 months ago

Text

Bout to be on some real shit today I bet I could make it sound more reasonable for there to be a third alter in Mikoto's case more successfully than anyone pushing for it could in less time and with more concrete evidence.

Now sure I might be overstimulated and cocky due to having my eyes dilated but hear me the fuck out I really could.

And I wouldn't have to lean on any aesthetic choices to do it. I wouldn't mention one fucking color or change in inflection. I would legit give substantial concrete proof this could be fucking occurring. Even though I don't fucking believe it is.

I wouldn't even delegitamize a subsection of individuals that also have Dissociative Identity Disorder by implying their experiences are more rare and, therefore, less worthy of representation. I would do it without mentioning any of that.

Okay just do that then- Bet strawman hold my vision because my eyes are on fire right now.

It's implied in Mikoto's second voice drama that Mikoto (John) is the one who went to college.

You've turned out to be much more rational than I expected... I'm surprised.

I'm a university graduate, after all.

This statement contradicts Mikoto's (John) own claim that he was born at the time of the crime that took place after he was in college, but I digress. It also calls the times Mikoto himself has discussed college in the timeline and his first interrogation into scrutiny at least,

20/06/11

Mikoto: Kazu-san, do you have any hobbies? I kinda want to get into something that’s a bit more mature. The sort of thing I could still be doing 10 years from now.

Kazui: Ahh, hobbies, huh. I wonder…… Hm, I guess trawling? I have a friend with a boat, so we went out on it a lot. Other than that, I guess when I go out drinking sometimes I play darts…… On that note, do you drink?

Mikoto: Ahh, I’ve tried darts before too. Drinking, huh. I guess I can probably hold my alcohol a bit better than the average person. Back when I was a uni student I drank a lot. But…… you look like you drink a lot too, Kazu-san.

Kazui: ……can you tell? That’s probably my biggest hobby of all of them. I like drinking anything. Beer, wine, shōchū, the lot.

20/07/15

Amane: Eh, my studies? I enjoy it. To me, studying is something I do for fun. Do you not think the same, Mikoto-san?

Mikoto: Not at all! It’s just a means to an end…… I just did the bare minimum needed to get into a good company. I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enroll, and from there, I studied curation and……

Uhh, you don’t really know what that is huh. Hmm. Since your way of speaking is so mature, I keep forgetting I need to explain myself properly……

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand, I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Mikoto: No, not really…? I mean, I could do the bare minimum needed to pass the entrance exam though. Even though it’s called an arts uni, there’s still subjects where you don’t need to draw at all. I’m the sort of person who tries to be efficient, so I worked backwards from the job I wanted to get into and chose to study subjects like direction and management~ ……ah, I’ve done it again……

Q.05 Do you like drawing?

Mikoto: I like it, but I’m not especially good at it. It was one of the main areas of study at the arts uni I went to so I could just do the bare minimum for that, I guess. Don’t expect all designers are gonna be good at drawing~

Okay, yeah, when we go that into it...it can be considered a bit weird that they'd have Mikoto (John) specify that in the second voice drama. Though, maybe this was just Mikoto (John) talking in those timelines and answering interrogation questions as far back as trial one. Which would contradict the whole narrative of MeMe where a repeated thing is not knowing where the fuck this dude is.

Outside of that it doesn't seem to be him just because it showcases Mikoto's tone indicators and mannerisms throughout the timeline. This has nothing to do with inflection or tone one can hear but Mikoto's consistent characterization which extends to how his dialogue is written in the timeline. Even if one wants to ignore that because anyone can change their verbal mannerisms then we'd still know from the text that Mikoto (John) spent all of the intermission being standoffish, isolating himself, and being difficult to approach from the admission of multiple prisoners.

So why would he make casual conversations with either of these people here? That'd be kind of weird and out of the norm that was presented to us. Especially if he is rightfully wary of the others being murderers similarly to how Kotoko was. Even if Mikoto himself doesn't want to believe it. Then we can go further their handwriting changes depending on who's answering something displayed in Double and the written interrogation.

Now just because Mikoto (John) said he had a college degree doesn't mean they're on some Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde shit where Mikoto (John) is like put some respect on my name I have a diploma. It doesn't mean that, but it is weird that they choose to specify this in second voice drama. Considering the number of times the author has deliberately written things pertaining to Mikoto and school.

We know Mikoto (John) got a degree we know Mikoto drunk a lot during uni, picked up his nicknaming habit there, and to his own admission does not like studying but instead views it as a means to an end. That is what all these statements together can tell us. We even know when things get stressful that Mikoto leaves it to Mikoto (John) as seen through trial two.

This could imply that Mikoto (John) is legitimately the person that does all the work.

Something supported through Double showing us him commuting to and from work something we do not see Mikoto do in MeMe. Despite him telling us how the fuck he commutes in his first trial interrogation,

Q.12 How do you travel to work?

Mikoto: Road cycling. It’s one of my hobbies, and it’s good exercise too. The fact I don’t have to worry about making the last train can be both a blessing and a curse.

Ah, ha, ha- Oh my god, could you imagine this guy taking a train that'd be ridiculous. It'd be like if he smoked cigarettes,

Q.17 Do you smoke?

Mikoto: Only electric. I used to smoke real cigarettes in the past, but since I started my job I’ve stopped.

Along with Mikoto's blatant admission in his trial one interrogation that,

Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person?

Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.

Something again supported by Mikoto's first music video where this man never sees sunlight unlike in Double. This serves to allude towards the dynamic within their system. Where Mikoto (John) does more technical and time intesive work while Mikoto focuses on communication.

Something that Milgram highlights here,

Q.09 Why do you give everyone nicknames?

Mikoto: I guess it became a habit when I was at university. Having a nickname for someone that only you call them comes with a lot of advantages, do recommend.

Everything that Mikoto remembers from college involves communication skills and social habits. He's highlighted in the minigram stating he's good at debate but not math. So, he can not help Amane.

Amane: Could you please teach me how to study?

Mikoto: Oh...

Kazui: It would be pretty tough for an old guy like me.

Mikoto: Simultaneous equations wow!

Mikoto: They start them at around Amane's age, I see. (Sir, what do you mean you see?!)

Kazui: Do you think you could teach her? (Kazui he didn't even know she would be learning this what makes you think-)

Mikoto: Well...

Mikoto: The only thing I can teach with confidence are tips for debate and discussion.

Amane: Right now.

Amane: English? No, I need to learn about math. *taking memo*

What the fuck does that have to do with-

I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enroll, and from there, I studied curation and……

Curation the thing you went to college for- Fuck, even the thing you're doing now actually?!

Q.08 What’s the most rewarding part of your current job?

Mikoto: I mean, it’s the top advertising agency in the industry? Anyone would be proud to be a part of it I put a lot of work in just to get here, too

This is more than likely why Double features more advertising tactics than MeMe. While MeMe showcases more of Mikoto's artistic abilities such as his paintings, the tarot cards, and hell, even some great directing angles. Dude knows how to frame a shot. I wonder how he learned that-

Things tied to the hobbies he tells us he has,

Q.05 Do you like drawing?

Mikoto: I like it, but I’m not especially good at it. It was one of the main areas of study at the arts uni I went to, so I could just do the bare minimum for that, I guess

Don’t expect all designers are gonna be good at drawing~

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

So you're saying the third one is the one that went to college. Hell, no, absolutely not. All them technically went to college and have very different skill sets. What I was going to say is we've never seem either of these bastards cook. Fucking clean outside of hiding evidence even order food. We couldn't even see Mikoto (John) get the fuck home in Double. Why the fuck does Mikoto (John) need to be reduced from a well rounded character just to give this other hypothetical guy more plot importance than is needed.

Like real talk, Mikoto (John) isn't even supposed to be here. Half of Mikoto's second interrogation was him begging Es to believe he did it, and Milgram was wrong. Yet no one wants to talk about how awkward it is for this dude to wake up in jail years of his life gone, to be told he's murderer and blamed for everything. Oh, and the caviot, if you don't take the blame for everything, you die. Dude woke up with shoes he can't fucking tie around a bunch of people he doesn't know then was told if you don't convince me you did this than depending on the number of bodies you'll be executed.

To the point that he has no choice but to be a scoundrel, it's what he's been made out to be, and being that is the only way to save their life. If all these differences in their mannerisms can exist and not conflict with each other to cause any suspicion to Mikoto, then yeah, it is possible that their could be more than two. Something neither of them may even be aware of. Am I interested in this being the case no. Not all am I interested in the way it's discussed changing absolutely.

#gunsli rambles

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redtail-lol · 1 year ago

Note

i just found your blog through your post about the validity of hyperlabelers and as an unlabeled/someone with limited labels i say hello labels are so unneccessary. to me. not to you. and thats okay. YOU collect the labels and YOU can keep collecting the labels because you can. and everyone else can shut the fuck up about it because your labels are YOUR labels. YOU can never have too many labels protecting you from the gatekeepers. stay safe and goodbye

You are so real for this anon. Being unlabeled can be a huge comfort for some people and collecting is a huge comfort for me. It's a very fun hobby too. And I feel like most actually unlabeled people fully understand this point, and don't try and make fun of people with too many labels. It's mostly those with only a few labels (esp fucking monoallocishets my sister is the worst about it she talks shit about people with 50 labels and is mad about me apparently being obsessed with labels when she only knows about 5 of them, she has no idea I'm a proud owner of 200+ and its still too much for her to handle) who throw fits about the weird queers and our many labels.

Personal theory monoallocishets are the worst because they're assumed to be monosexual, monogendered, monogamous, allosexual, alloromantic, cisgender, heterosexual, and heteromantic, so they don't ever have to put thought into who they are. They're not unlabeled because they don't reject labels, they just don't have to have an identity journey because they're "normal."

Label collector and unlabeled solidarity forever. We're both breaking what is 'normal' for labels by having too many or too few for others. We don't have a conflict of interest, but we do have a common enemy (people who will expect everyone to choose one gender, one orientation, one amorous orientation, and few aspec terms.) You are incredibly valid for choosing to define yourself without regards to attraction, gender, or amory, and not slap a sticker on it, just as I am valid for putting so many stickers all you can see are the stickers. Nothing beneath. I think unlabeled people and their attitudes on identity are so cool. I think label cops suck.

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fandomsoda · 1 year ago

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Let's play a game! Spot the difference!

Look at the replies in these two posts.

https://www.tumblr.com/a-god-selfmade/735285489689608192/you-ever-apologize-and-then-get-absolutely?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/largefound/734626740408893440/announcement-related-with-the-vent?source=share

What's something they have in common? You.

What's something they don't they have in common? You being a decent human being who can feel for others.

Before you attack an innocent person again, Largefound did not send me.

First, you completely ignore people trying to help you keep safe from Skeletal. You were told things about him, with proof, but you're blinded by favoritism.

Secondly, take a minute to breathe. Emotions are weird, I know, but you can at least take a little snack break instead of just immediately yelling at people about emotions you haven't processed.

For once, can childish people like you and Skeletal not fuck things up? I've sent you both asks before, being polite, but I don't have fucking time for that anymore. Fuck you and Skeletal for being such attention whores.

Get your unloyal ass off social media, you fake ass bitch. This is meant to be somewhere safe, don't fuck it up.

I was going to ignore/delete this one just like all your other asks, but I know from experience that you will only continue to harass me and will use my silence against me, so I will respond.

Long post ahead boys, strap in.

Ok so I’ll start with addressing the replies, since that’s the most genuine thing in this ask.

The second link you provided shows a reply I left 1-2 weeks ago and genuinely meant and still mean. I genuinely wish Large well, and as far as I am concerned we are cool.

The first one listed was made a few days ago very early in the morning and was made impulsively. My emotions got disregulated and so I assumed the worst. I am not proud of this comment and I would have deleted it if I had remembered it existed. Not to “cover my tracks” or any shit like that, but because that statement was genuinely hasty, unkind, and inconsiderate of me to make. And I regret it.

I actively want to move on and be cool with Large, I have reconciled my own anger and all the miscommunication from past events. I do not hold whatever happened here against them as that would be ridiculous for me to do considering I don’t actually know what happened and was just going off of Skeletal’s tags. I wasn’t gonna start a problem over this because that would just be shitty of me and make things worse.

One of these comments was absolutely wrong to make and doesn’t reflect my true feelings, but it doesn’t mean I somehow am not a decent human being or can’t feel for others, nor does it somehow prove me as “fake”. People feel differently about the same thing at different points in time depending on mindset and context.

Now allow me to tear into all your other statements/points because as far as I’m concerned the rest of this is bull.

Firstly I know damn well that Large didn’t send you because I know that Large is not ok with harassment and shit like this, several times offering to make posts to tell people like you to leave me alone. Also you say “again” and I’m not sure what you’re referring to, I don’t believe I’ve ever directly accosted someone about an ask I received on their behalf. Nor do I believe that you actually know anything about how this situation played out between the parties involved considering most of it was in private conversations.

Now let’s talk about Skeletal because y’all are really fucking disconnected on this one. (I say y’all because I know it’s not just you under these false beliefs)

Let me start off my saying your claims are just flat-out wrong. But let me elaborate on why. Firstly let me say that you actually never did give me proof, but I did see you give “proof” to someone else and it’s all garbage.

“Oh this person’s friend who is in the same/a similar age group, identity, and arts class sounds similar to them and has similar hobbies? That must mean they’re the same person and this friend isn’t real!”

Do you have any fucking idea how ridiculous that is.

I honesty will not believe you until you have like. Actual visual evidence of him planning to do this or whatever.

And as someone who was keeping tabs on Skeletal a lot beforehand and was there to watch their entire reaction to the situation unfold, it would make no logical sense for him to have done this.

They took the rejection pretty well all things considered and were behaving very stably before that happened. Skeletal was actively moving on and growing and showed no true resentment nor hostility towards Tundra about this.

And when I caught wind of the situation, I actually was very afraid that he had been responsible for this. I left void a bunch of messages out of worry, and when he got on that day his initial response was intense confusion and having no idea what I was talking about, with me soon being able to explain and say who was responsible. I watched him confront them. Skeletal still cared about Tundra, even after everything and it showed.

Until Tundra somehow managed to do a bunch of mental gymnastics and convince herself of this and you along with her.

But I know my son, I’ve talked to him about this whole situation several times, I’ve shown him your asks and accusations, and I am convinced that he isn’t capable of this. It isn’t impossible, but it’s highly unlikely and if it is true I will have been lied to over and over again to my face, I will be fucking devastated. But I don’t think it is. Because I don’t believe he’s capable of that.

I don’t need to be protected from Skeletal.

Now let me just go over the rest of this because wow-

It’s really amusing that you call me and Skeletal “attention whores” when we have been ACTIVELY AVOIDING/IGNORING YOU and have been trying to resolve our own damn personal issues calmly, responsibly, and privately. We want to move on, we want to put this to rest.

You are the one constantly begging for us to respond to you and pay attention to you and you’re the one being loud and immature. You are the only person keeping this shit going.

And you going from saying “I understand feelings can be hard” to calling me a “fake ass bitch” not three paragraphs later is downright comical honestly like what the hell dude-

I am not stirring up issues, I am not making this place more unsafe, I am just trying to live my life and you are the one showing up to hurl insults at me and antagonize me. You have not been polite, all of your asks have come off as underhanded and petty.

The people you’re trying to defend would NEVER approve of your behavior right now and they do not agree with you. Please relax.

This is also like. None of your business. That’s why I’ve avoided addressing you directly for so long, it’s because this isn’t you nor anyone else’s business. You are not involved, this is not your place.

You’ve been obsessing about me for what might be over a month now. That is not healthy. And I know that can’t feel good either. I know that rage, that anguish, that sickly cycle of thinking about that person several times a day. I know the feeling where the fact that you can’t speak to them directly causes you to start to construct a monster in your mind, how you start to subconsciously dehumanize them. I know that hatred, that grudge. And I hope you manage to let it go, let your malice melt away and reason take hold once more. Because holding grudges like that is painful and it’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Despite all of this I still do wish you the best. “The best” being that you get out of this unhealthy mindset and stop being so cruel. I know that you probably have a good heart, you just want to do what’s right and you view me as a monster. Therefore you want me slain. And that’s a feeling that I understand but is not one that will ever get you what you want in life.

I want to be clear that I don’t look down on you, I’m just upset at you and honestly scared of you. All of this has left me bewildered and upset. But I know that if I can grow and change, so can you. Even if I know that you’ll probably think I’m being disingenuous when I say that.

I wish you well, but as long as you are so spiteful and cruel I do not want you anywhere near me.

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mabeysomeclasspecting · 1 year ago

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beans i just came across this blog and its pretty fuckin sick!! i'm super super interested in classpects but i've never been able to pin down my own, so i figured i'd send something in! 8D what are your interests/hobbies? i'm sort of all over the place. i take on interests randomly, picking things up and dropping them just a quickly. mainly i just collect miscellaneous knowledge about anything and everything. i like learning random shit and i'll go down random rabbit holes for hours and hours at a time. i have favorites, though - specifically zoology, marine biology, cultural and biological anthropology, paleontology, and ancient history. within those i have even more specific niches that i enjoy, like deep sea invertebrates and early hominids. the weirder something is, the more i like to learn about it. i have an affection for the bizarre. i also have normal people hobbies, mostly art. i've been drawing for most of my life and it's something that i really enjoy. something that i enjoy just as much is writing, and i think i'm probably better at that. i also love everything related to music, although i'm not super great with any instruments. i have a long history of making up stories for potential comics/novels/etc and fleshing them out, only to never do anything with them.

i also enjoy creating things and consuming things related to whatever media i've latched onto. right now, it's homestuck.

how do you see yourself? that's sort of a hard question. i have really severe identity problems, and i always have, to the point where i think i might have some kind of dissociative issue. i have issues with myself and how i feel about things, but i usually just try not to think or talk about it, because it makes things easier. i've found myself very hard to understand, but i try to know myself well enough to know the source of my problems so i can solve them. i know myself well enough to deal with myself. overall, i just think i'm some guy. i don't have particularly bad self esteem, nor am i particularly narcissistic (i think). i am, however, very hard on myself, and can be destructively perfectionistic. how do others see you? from what i can gather, i can be disconcerting to people. i say and do things that people don't get, i make jokes that people don't seem to get, and something about my general demeanor seems to throw people off. i've been informed that i can come across as narcissistic because of my tendency to A. use reverse self-deprecation humor (i.e saying i'm the best at something) and B. correct people incredibly frequently. i speak with a very even tone, bordering on deadpan, and it's hard to tell when i'm being sarcastic, so my jokes are often taken seriously. i also just have a weird sense of humor that doesn't bode well with some people, i guess. besides that, i have a distinctive way of speaking that tends to throw people off-kilter. at my school, i'm known to be two things - intelligent and very mentally-ill. that's most of what informs people's view on me. i'd imagine strangers see me a bit differently, because i am naturally almost freakishly polite to people i don't know. but i know the most about the people i go to school with.

but i try to be unassuming and not to cause any problems. i'm pretty passive, generally speaking, and i take things as they come without much issue. i go out of my way to be nice and help strangers when i can, but other than that, i don't usually talk to people i don't know. i'm kind of introverted and very awkward.

however, because of my habit to bottle up my emotions, i can be made to snap very hard when provoked, entering basically a blind rage. when i'm in a fit of anger, i can be incredibly verbally aggressive, and i will usually make a genuine attempt to hurt the feelings of/be an asshole to the person i'm angry at.

how do you interact with your friends? i don't like being serious in group conversations, or with the vast majority of people, so i'm something of a jester to most of my friends. there are very few times and situations where my true feelings, untainted by jokes and irony, get to leak through and i'll have an honest conversation. even rarer is any displays of vulnerability on my part, as that's something that makes me deeply uncomfortable. my friends are the only people who get to see the extent of my bizarre sense of humor, and will get subjected to it on the reg.

any kind of emotional vulnerability scares the fucking beans out of me, and i do not like being genuine. i cover all of my truths and traumas in seven layers of jokes and apathy and irony so no one realizes how much it actually hurts me, and so i can talk about it without being reminded of how much it hurts. yknow, stridercore.

i'll also express my opinions on people and things to my friends, which i usually don't do unless in a neutered way. i can come across as a little two-faced because of the fact that i act cordial to everyone, including people i really don't like, and have a habit of (for lack of a better word) hating on.

i care about everyone, but i care about my friends a lot. i'll offer to help them in any way i can, if there's anything i can do. i'm the friend who always pays for their friends when going out to eat. i like doing things for the people i care about. sometimes my insistence on helping comes across as smothering, and i can get kind of nosy sometimes, both of which i can acknowledge as flaws of mine.

unfortunately, whenever i'm emotionally distressed or just stressed in any way, i'll start isolating from my friends because of how much my negative emotions drain my social battery. i also have a tendency to get so absorbed in my own activities and projects that i ignore most stuff going on, so i can go long periods without saying much to my friends.

what's important to you? even though i pride myself on caring about others, at the end of the day, i care the most about staying alive and well, and staying sane. i have been severely mentally ill for most of my life, and i've been many horrifically low points. i began the process of recovery pretty recently, and ever since, i've developed a fear of relapsing into my old mental state and something horrible happening. all i want, at the end of the day - is to stay alive, keep my mind, and be as happy as i can in the world i live in.

describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be? someone who can make people happy. i love making people happy, i really really do. i'd want to grow into a stable person with an interesting life, sure, but above all else - i want to be someone who matters to people. i want to be a positive part of someone's life. that's mostly it. if i could do that, i'd be happy.

sorry for how horribly long this is, i'm fucking terribly long-winded. have a great day!! sign off - 8)

Hello! I'm glad you like my stuff :)

Aspects: Life, Doom, Time

Classes: Knight, Sylph, Heir

In order, I'd say you're either a Knight of Life, Sylph of Doom, or Heir of Time! Plenty of options for you to play around with, so hopefully one one them feels right

Hope this helps!

#homestuck #classpect #classpecting #asks #requests #anon #knight of life #sylph of doom #heir of time #knight #sylph #heir #life #doom #time

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago

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Okay this is like a week or so late but I've been thinking about your tags about how it's fucked up to claim a character you don't like/find boring is cishet because it hinges being queer as something you earn or have revoked, and you talking about how Dean is interesting Because of his flaws... This is like such a minor gripe in the grand scheme of things, but in another fandom there's this character I'll just call E who cheats on his spouse. Then there's another character from the same country, with the same appearance, that goes by a nickname that's E's name, just shorter. I'll call that character U. I met someone who mentioned in all their posts that they didn't think E and U were the same character. I thought maybe there was like, a detail or an interview that I missed, so I asked this person why they thought E and U were different characters. And they kinda danced around it for a while before basically admitting that they think U is hot and didn't want to like a character that cheated on his spouse. Now like obviously to each their own, people can have their opinions, I can't control how people go about fiction, no one is obligated to be super intellectual with fandom hobbies, etc etc. But I've always been really confused about this person's headcanon because isn't it more fun to actually interpret the worldbuilding and themes of fiction, than to essentially lie to yourself so you don't have to think about uncomfortable topics? I really don't think the author of this media setup the premise of 2 characters being almost identical, one explicitly a cheater & the other ambiguous, for no reason. And if you can't engage with the themes in a mature way... Why not just move onto something that's more your speed? I know the answer is hot fictional men, and that's fair, but... It's been a few years since this interaction and it's still mind boggling to me (Also sorry for putting such a big message in your inbox for vague fandom drama 💀 I'd say the name of the characters/media but it's a really small fandom so the person Would find out I was talking shit)

"I know the answer is hot fictional men" is such a good way to put fandom drama. cause, like, end of the day, i'm pretty sure a lot of dean vs sam debates also boil down to 'which one do you want to fuck'. (not all of them but like. sometimes. you can tell.)

so the thing is like. for me, whatever headcanons anyone wants to have? they're fine. I might think they are Very Bad and Weird To Have, as with people declaring they can only see sam as cishet because he's just. so boring. you know, the guy who drank blood on screen and caused the apocalypse a few times and- i digress. But what's starting to become a lot more pervasive in fandom culture and what I find extremely annoying is that people will insist that you have to conform to their headcanons, that if you don't, you're damaging the character or taking something away from them or something. And this gets especially fucked when they start insisting that the headcanon version of the characters overrides the actual characters, rather than engaging with what's happening on screen.

which was probably inevitable, given how people tend to headcanon things about characters that end up very personal. someone disagreeing with a headcanon that's built on projection (which, to be clear, projecting onto a character is not a bad thing, otherwise i'd be a huge hypocrite for saying sam is trans) can feel like a personal attack, and that's gonna put the headcanon-er on the defensive, and. well. it becomes a situation not fun for anyone.

also never apologize for coming into my inbox with vague fandom drama. i love vague fandom drama. i recognize that i am part of the fandom drama problem but im too nosy to stop askdjalkdjs

#ask

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plantwithoutplot · 2 years ago

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15 Questions OC Edition

Thank you for tagging me, @j-1173 ! (*´ ˘ `*)♥

Imma direct all the questions at my OC Léo Alzavola from my novel Eterna Storia, because he is one of my favs and has always been in all of my readers' Top 5 lol

‌Are you named after anyone?

Léo: Not that I know of? I did take my father's last name, Alzavola, when I was officially adopted in the family, though.

‌When was the last time you cried?

Léo: Today at lunch ― the guy queueing before me at the cafeteria got thr very last slice of pizza. . . ( ͒ ́ඉ .̫ ඉ ̀ ͒)

‌Do you have kids?

Léo: Oh God NO I'M 16―

Léo: Unless you count that one draft of the story where I'm supposed to accidentally have two kids when I'm 21~23. Love them, two daughters, much smarter than me, too! And I'm glad their mom and I get along even though we didn't stay together. We both think that spending equal time with them and kreping them happy is what matters most 🩷

‌Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Léo: Me? I would never― _(┐「ε:)_

‌What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Léo: Their Souls? Ahah... It's my superpower, gotta use it sometimes, okay? And at least I always know who is a decent person and who's an asshole you shouldn't ever talk to.

‌What’s your eye color?

Léo: Brown!

‌Scary movies or happy endings?

Léo: HAPPY ENDING ON GOD GIMME THE STUPID HAPPY ENDING FOR ONCE―

Léo: MIO DIO MY LIFE IS ALREADY ENOUGH OF AN HORROR MOVIE, LASCIA ME IN PACE― ‪( º言º)💦

‌Any special talents?

Léo: I've been told I'm ✨ e x c e l l e n t✨ at fucking the simplest shit up!

‌Where were you born?

Léo: I, uh... I don't...? Oh cavolo―... Mh, okay, okay, so. Long story short is that I was adopted when I was 7 years old. I don't... Remember much. From before. Nothing useful, at least. And we don't have any official document confirming my parents' identity or name so... I really don't know?... Can we move on, now? Please?

‌What are your hobbies?

Léo: I play the trumpet! It started out as a distraction to play during local summer festivals, since my sister is a Gardian and she brings her Manades along with her around the region, for local games like Abrivados or Taureau-Piscine. I... No. No, I won't explain. It is very weird and traditional events and you can't really do it justice by translating it. Traduttore, Traditore, y'know? But I guess you could also count horse riding as a hobby, since my sistrr taught me so that I can help her around with the bulls?

‌Do you have any pets?

Léo: Unfortunately, no... Would have loved to have a dog, though!

‌What sports do you play/have played?

Léo: I never really was one for sports outside of school... I like to hang around with friends and chill and play, but I never focused on just one sport. I do enjoy horse riding, though!

‌How tall are you?

Léo: Uuuuh... Right now? I'm 16 and only 176cm tall right now, but according to my doctor, I'm still gonna grow some more! ٩(๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)و🩵

‌Favorite subject in school?

Léo: Lunch? ... Okay then, uh... Italian. Since I grew up learning it from my Dad's side of the family, classes are easy to follow! And I like it better than Spanish... Sorry Mom―

‌Dream job?

Léo: Anything near to a nice 9-to-5 where I get to have a routine and a perfectly normal, boring life!! That's really, really, all that I wish for!

Tagging the amazing @whymustmyfavalwaysdie and @newbieineverything and whoever wanna play ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ✨

#aslinn rambles #Tag game #Writing tag game #OC ask #Léo Alzavola #My beloved idiot

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colorisbyshe · 3 years ago

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I feel like in a lot of circles including irl, identifying as ace is the cost of entry for discussions about things like a complicated or painful relationship to sex and rape culture. I used to identify as ace because I needed to pay that entry fee and hey I fit their very loose definition. But I stopped being comfortable with the infantilization (esp being autistic) that goes with the label and it's so frustrating to be locked out of those essential conversations now because people think I have a "normative" relationship to sex when I'm literally traumatized and stone. The current state of how people talk about asexuality is so counterproductive.

I don't know if it's a cost of entry thing so much as it is... an easier way out and also a part of a larger obsession with Facets of Who I Am Have Now Become Meaningful Public Identity.

I'll explain what I mean on both fronts.

It's an easier way out because asexual is no longer a neutral term, it is an empowering term. To acknowledge that you are ace is to empower yourself, reclaim your struggles, and exist defiantly against "normative" sexual desire, whatever that may be.

It means it is an inherent part of who you are, not something you can change or work on. Instead of having to reflect inward and address any possible trauma, internalized homophobia/transphobia/racism/etc, or sex shaming attitudes you have grown up with, you can just go, "I'm ace, the only difficulties I face are from outsiders who are aphobic, not my own experiences, beliefs, and traumas."

No more internal work is required. And then to say "Actually, I'm just on Zoloft and my libido is dead" or "Actually, I am just recovering from abuse" or "Actually, I just have very different sexual boundaries than is expected of me and maybe do not like penetrative acts done to myself," somehow becomes an affront of the community.

Nuance isn't allowed, just hegemony. Asexuality has become a broad, broad term (essentially meaningless) to encompass a lot of experiences... many of which contradict each other... and to vocalize that contradiction is to be aphobic. Everyone is stepping on each other's toes rather than admit that maybe, just maybe, they aren't actually sharing the same umbrella and don't belong under the same term.

Now as to what I mean by "Facets of Who I am Have Now Become Meaningful Public Identity."

I think there has been a weird shift to make EVERY part of you an indicator of your social standing. You don't have kinks, you are a Kinkster in the Kink Community. You didn't go through sexual abuse, you are a Survivor. You don't lack sexual attraction or only feel sexual attraction once in a while, you are In The Ace Community.

As people of color, LGBT people, disabled people, and other oppressed groups have gotten more mainstream recognition to talk about their oppression and represent their experiences, a lot of people see that sense of community and try to recreate it.

Everything is a community. Everything is a social strata. Everything is a part of an oppressor/oppressed dynamic.

You can't just have interests or nuances or hobbies. You have a Community that is supposedly monolithic and representative of a collaborative interest.

Fuck, it's even done to fandom where everything becomes a fucking sports team. It's not "I like this band," it's "I'm part of Fandom Name."

People have to list everything out like every part of their identity belongs on the census.

Because they saw marginalized people as communities get holidays or media rep or whatever and failed to see them as political coalitions against oppression. They just saw them as fan clubs or sports teams fighting for entertainment.

It's a larger social problem where everything needs a label and needs to be socially meaningful.

It's the same shit that gets people listing out their every mental diagnosis or kink in their bio. Like... nothing can be personal and everything is a status symbol.

#this is a bit half baked #anda i can expound on it more #but i am SLEEEEPY

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verdantmoontruther · 3 years ago

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the anti-bkdk ramble that turned into an anti-internet ramble

i’m not like the biggest or most present bnha fan on here (i’m more about naruto personally) and i know this point has been discussed to death within the more intellectually capable circles of the fanbase, but i think we should really talk about the hypocrisy of people that excuse or ‘forgive’ bakugou’s behaviour for whatever purpose they come up with, whether it be shipping or ‘bc he’s hot’ or whatnot.

the tl;dr of what i want to say: bakugou and midoriya do not like each other. there is no evidence for that in the books or otherwise. it is unwise to view their genuine dislike as unresolved sexual tension because injecting a sexual component into bakugou’s decade-long antipathy makes for a much, much scarier bullying scenario. also, please touch grass and get a hobby outside of media consumption; i make friendship bracelets and photograph graffiti around my town. it’s very fun. take a break from the online world.

first things first: i UNDERSTAND, fully and wholeheartedly, the desire to see a queer enemies-to-lovers relationship happen in mainstream media. i may be young enough to be on the cusp between gen z and millennial, but i’m also old enough to remember when homosexuality was the weird joke paraded out on late night telly to explain a man’s bizarre behaviour, or be the shitty punchline to an equally unfunny joke. i remember feeling young and disgusted, young and scared, young and hopeless when i thought that we would never see anything remotely resembling a healthy gay relationship on tv. i didn’t even think legalised gay marriage is something that would be won in my youth. but you’re going about it the wrong way.

bakugou bullied midoriya for a long time. that is an immutable fact, and a very important aspect of both of their identities. in their childhoods, bakugou cemented midoriya into a victim role by singling him out and tormenting him. it’s important for some of you to understand that you can’t come back from that. whatever relationship they may have in the future will forever be tainted by the fact that, when bakugou knew he had the upper hand physically over midoriya, he chose to ridicule, belittle, and hurt him, and was never told by those around him that he may have been wrong for it.

it bothers me to no end that the people who will recognise how well the bnha universe fits as an allegory to the treatment of disabled people in society - which is, in my opinion, a completely astute and intelligent observation - will fail to see bakugou’s treatment of midoriya in their formative years as not abusive or ableist, but criticise a character because they said something demeaning about the quirkless population. it’s interesting because the allegory only extends to the characters and actions that are easily dealt with (cancelling a minor character for their words is very easy), but as soon as you raise the issue of physically, emotionally, and mentally abusing someone for their disability, it gets wishy washy because that’s their favourite character that we’re accusing of unsavoury behaviours. it begs the question - do you actually give a shit at all?

the reason i raise this is because fiction directly translates to real life. the things an author, screenwriter, or mangaka write about and the perspective they write about it from effect our view of ourselves and other people, especially in an industry aimed at, and mostly consumed by, the youth. that’s why i discussed what i did in the second paragraph - representation is important because it makes people feel more comfortable in their skin. and i can understand why you crave seeing yourself depicted as the hero of a story. but it also means that bad interpretations can weasel their way into the malleable minds of the young people consuming these stories: think about everything jk rowling was cancelled for. her only irish character constantly blowing things up. hook-nosed elves in love with money. werewolves preying on young boys as a metaphor for the aids epidemic.

i can’t blame horikoshi for the way that people infer his writing because there is absolutely no evidence in his writing that bakugou and midoriya harbour romantic feelings for each other, but i do know where this sentiment comes from: you kids are grasping at straws, wanting to make genuinely antagonistic characters into some sort of star-crossed romance because this is your first time being exposed to fighty blowy uppy shounen that doesn’t give a shit about love, and it worries me, because it means you begin romanticising all the wrong behaviours. if i was reading half the shit you guys like about the mythical bkdk dynamic in an actual book, it’d be raising red flags immediately. no communication. possessiveness. jealousy. entitlement. belittling. taking out their anger on each other. i’m concerned for you lot.

some of you aren’t going to like hearing this, but i think the reason we are seeing such a strong insurgence of the romanticisation of such an unhealthy relationship dynamic, apart from representation, is because being bombarded by so many stories and headlines and works in a day due to the internet has desensitised us to a lot of things. you look at a news headline about a bombing or a murder and you don’t feel anything anymore. same thing with fiction: ten years of bullying, when you have nothing from your own personal life to compare it to, doesn’t sound that bad. someone telling you to kill yourself gets brushed off like water off a duck’s back because everyone tells everyone to kts these days. having no friends is normalised because all of us people online are ‘depressed and anxious uwu no fwends’. in order to get a real hit right in the gut you need something that takes the word angst and amplifies it by a scale factor of seven million. in a culture that sensationalises pain and is devoid of empathy, midoriya’s situation is just not enough anymore.

once again idk if any of this made sense. i write what i think and if it comes out like a jumble of random letters then oh well.

#anti bakudeku #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugou #bnha #bnha opinions

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iphoenixrising · 3 years ago

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(6am/Prime Girl back to the super random chaos again haha) B A B E I serously caNNOT - I read your post about some AUs you’d like to get to and?? The Civillian CEO one literally spoke to my SOUL???? I’m just picturing Tim, fully aware of the Batfam’s identities (because he may have followed in his parents’ footsteps, but that didn’t stop him from his hobby when they were gone) starting to deal with some of this corruption, and then Dick and Jason are s o enraptured by Tim. Because this isn’t a Tim that is docile or subtle about anything.

As a CEO, Tim loses none of his sass or cleverness. When he sets his sights on someone, he does not hold back.

And his tech and detective skills would totally come into play, of course - after all, so much to dig up, so little time. (And those computer classes he took in Highschool and college? Absolutely paying off)

And Lucius would obviously stay with WE, but I can imagine Tam meeting Tim, this young, vigilant and untarnished CEO with so much to do and so many expectations, and rolling into the fray.

Tim, having grown up in these environments, knows how to wear his masks, to smile as he snatches information from tipsy gala-goers, to draw plans out of the elite of Gotham like it’s child’s play.

So maybe Dick and Jason see him at a gala one day. They’d known about him before, of course - but Tim Drake only became CEO about a month ago, so they were expecting the idealism to die sooner than later (like it does with most Gothamites)

However, they watch as he works the crowd, smile glinting in a way that verges on too-sweet and p, laughing as a mogul talks of some sort of Organisation they’ve set up involving the homeless, and -

The man is in prison the following week, charged with many counts of trafficking, and he’d miraculously ended up in a court that couldn’t be bribed -

Oh, yes, now they’re interested.

Anyways, so Tim starts running into Bruce’s wards a little more, of course. They try to be subtle about it, but Tim is very well aware of them and knows that he’s either being investigated or he’s some weird form of civilian city-cleanup entertainment (and wow, maybe he was flattering himself)

But they start wooing bit by bit, and our boys have maybe one combined subtle bone in their bodies, and Tim, here, has had so much practice with people that he realizes very quickly what their intentions are.

Instead of confronting them, though, which may lead to questions and turn them off from him (because they only wanted sweet but fierce normal CEO Tim - there’s no way they would want him as he is -) he decides that ‘hey, isn’t this an opportunity?’ And begins to help himself to their help.

Maybe it’s a file on some shady business dealer he’s left out ‘accidentally’ when they come over for coffee, or maybe it’s a hint here or there about a drug circulating on the down-low to a very specific group of people, or even notes on a cop he’d noticed a discrepancy with.

Dick and Jason are always so interested, after all, and Nightwing and Redhood are always so willing to help out a plain, ordinary CEO with his worries.

Everything could come to a head one day, however, when Tim might slip up somewhere due to lack of sleep and get caught in something. With little other choice he might call Dick or Jason and ask for help, and, well?

Wouldn’t they just find their little civilian detective so much more interesting?

(*coughcough* ANYWAYS - I hope you’re doing well!! Love love you and all your works, fren! I really hope I haven’t overstepped any bounds with this short thing inspired by your au, but I honestly just love your writing and this concept!! Many many hugs to you and kiddo!<333)

Prime Girl babe!

I was so happy when I saw your message in my fucking inbox and then, then, you bring this to my table? This buffet of clever, sassy, civilian Tim getting all kind of comfortable with hot vigilantes because he absolutely takes no shit when it comes to corporate bribery and corruption, is one of those CEOs that pretty much refuses a pay raise and puts it back into the company, that pushes for more than the standard 2% for his hard working employees, that makes sure they're donating to the right causes in Gotham, demands to see change whenever they support a cause? (The only reason the skate park keeps getting rebuilt after any number of shitty bad guys blows it up is because Tim can't stand the thought of a Gotham without one. Same for the several rec centers all over town.) And you, you, put this in front of me like an offering to the Gods of the Muse that Tim not only knows, but he takes perfect fucking advantage of it to use them strategically in bed and out to make sure the underground criminals, the blue collars, the corrupt politicians, cops, and judges, get their fucking due with minimal effort and no bodily harm in his future?

And like this idea isn't good enough by any stretch, but let's just have a nice CEO facing down one of Gotham's crime syndicates because he absolutely fucked up and he's done good things so this isn't a bad way to go–

When the skyline breaks in and a whole lot of pissed off vigilantes take the scene.

I'm not going to say the Red Hood isn't utterly vicious, or that one of his clips isn't rubber bullets. I'm not going to say Nightwing is banter-less once he sees how beat-up Tim is, the blood oozing from the cuts on his face, the deep bruising and swelling. I'm not going to say how merciless Robin is when he sees the usually clean cut CEO an utter exhausted mess.

Nor am I going to say how much they all coddle the fuck out of him for the next few weeks, stalk him in his office, his home, his commute to assure themselves he's okay, he's healing, he isn't in anyone else's hands–

except theirs.

#omg babe #this idea tho #winter rambles #because the muse is with babe on this one #civilian!tim

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

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William Cobb is a total asshat and I hate him, thanks, BUT I will admit there’s a particular AU that’s been dancing around my Brain Cave for a few years that’s like.....hmmm.

Okay, so he’s a full on douchebag, but imagine if he was a full on douchebag who in this AU did still have an actual soft spot for family instead of drinking the Kool-Aid and thinking like ‘being the 1%’s elite murder moppet is actually the greatest honor I could ever hope for myself or any descendant of mine’ he’s like.....not awful about the subject of family and is like ‘well I’M a terrible person, but I will fight for my family’s right to choose to not be a terrible person, because like, they’re family, and its their life to fuck up if they want to be all weird about it or whatever.’

So BASICALLY, what I’m getting at is like, so, the Court was all into nabbing the Gray Son after Dick’s parents died, and William Cobb for once in his miserable existence experienced like, actual Internal Conflict about this because he’s like oh nooooo, but my great grandson is so cute actually and I can speak with some authority to the fact that if the Court gets their hands or requisite-Talons-pun on him, that like.....will not last long.

But then he breathes an undead sigh of relief or whatever the equivalent for him is when Bruce Wayne, one of the most powerful figures in the city, powerful enough for the Court to be wary about picking a fight with him, like, randomly swoops in and makes with the adopting of said great grandson.

And the Court’s like, ugh, what is this feeling of being denied something we want simply because we think we should have it? Do Not Like, 10/10 would absolutely NOT recommend, except to mortal enemies we hate. But whatever. I GUESS Bruce Wayne can keep the brat, but only because we simply don’t care enough to make a big deal about it and definitely not because we’re intimidated by his own power and family prestige. Cuz we’re totally not. We’re not! Shut up.

BUT.

THEN.

YEARS LATER.

The Court is engaged in active conflict with the Batfamily, and his Internal Conflict appeased and years behind him, Cobb’s like, all into the fight and giving it his all, until Something Plot Contrivey happens to unmask Nightwing and Cobb’s like. Oh shit. That’s my great grandson. CURSE YOU, SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE RESURGENCE OF INTERNAL CONFLICT! NOBODY FUCKING ASKED, JEEZ.

And Dick’s just like.....uh, what’s happening right now? I feel like I’m missing context. Can a bitch get an MLA citation here or something?

All of this culminating in Cobb maybe not HELPING the Batfam demolish the Court but perhaps at least oh so conveniently not NOT helping when the Batfam delivers a metaphorical death blow to the Court O’Assholes. Like, the Grandmaster dipshit calls him on his celly to be like COBB! THE COURT HAS BEEN BREACHED! COME DEFEND YOUR MASTERS and Cobb’s like bzzrt....click....whrrrr....sorry going through a tunnel can’t hear you oh no dropped my phone in the sewers, signal lost, much regret.

And he just happens to arrive to the fight too late to change the outcome and he’s like oh dang, did I miss it? Shucks, I KNEW I shouldn’t have taken the freeway. My bad, guys. This one’s on me.

Because of Plot Contrivancey then, by this point the Batfam knows who this dude is and they let him go with a shovel talk like we still know about all the murder, FYI, and we’re doing this for Dick’s sake not yours, so you better not do ANY murder from here on out or its on sight.

And Cobb’s like okay first off, you’re not the fucking boss of me, but secondly, like, eh, whatever. I’m fucking old. I can retire. Its fine.

BUT because being a lying liar who lies about just kicking back and taking it easy and having hobbies is literally encoded into the Grayson DNA, he fucking lies like a lying liar who lies, and after trying to pick up fly fishing for like, two whole hours before calling it quits, he decides to devote his undead golden years to stalking his great-grandson like the creepiest guardian angel that literally nobody ever asked for. Dick included.

Dick keeps trying to like, Old Yeller this situation and is like GO HOME! You GO home now! Go on! But Cobb’s just not having it and he accidentally kills another up-and-coming Rogue who sets his sights on Nightwing. Great-Grandson and Great-Grandpa engage in heated stare-off, Battle of The Wills. Batman arrives and clears his throat menacingly. Cobb’s like oh no I’m so scared, I would totally be sweating right now if I weren’t physiologically incapable of sweating and oh yeah DYING.

And then its Cobb and Bruce engaging in the Battle of the Wills: Grudge Match edition, because they’re both glaring each other down while thinking the identical thoughts of “ugh the literal worst person in the world made one point and one point only and that’s that we must protect this mutually loved person at all costs and taking each other down would ultimately only deprive said loved one of a protector who could like, be key in protecting him from some future Murder Demise or whatnot” which segues neatly into both Bruce and Cobb shaking their fists at the sky and being all CURSE YOU, SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE RESURGENCE OF INTERNAL CONFLICT! NOBODY FUCKING ASKED, JEEZ.

And Dick’s like, okay I can see you’re both very busy right now and this is no longer about me really so I’m just gonna leave you to it and go get ice cream with Damian. I’ll check back in a couple of hours to see if either of you has blinked yet, I guess? Idk. Whatever. You guys do you.

“My family is so fucking weird,” he grumbles under his breath as he walks off into the sunset. His siblings apparate into his presence, mouths open and ready to argue the comparative greater weirdness of their grafted branch of the Wayne family tree and he’s just like first person to bust out a flow-chart isn’t getting any ice cream, FYI, but because they’re all the kids of a billionaire who can be counted on to give them some spending money of a few hundred or so with just a puppy eyes look and a “why yes, Bruce, a hundred dollars IS the price of one banana,” like, they are not actually phased by this threat and it all swiftly devolves into ‘Whose Relatives Are Like, The WORST Worst’ competition that nobody will ever win, not that that actually matters.

Its like, the Wayne Family Forever War. Just family tradition at this point. You get it.

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mettywiththenotes · 3 years ago

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320 bits I wanna talk about

Iieda looks like he’s doing the *inhale* before the BOI IF YOU DON’T- meme. Something along the lines of “BOI IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS BACK TO UA-” kind of thing lol.

He holding something in definitely. Maybe charging up for an attack? Idk but he sure seems concentrated

Actually, Iieda seems kinda considering. Maybe he’s weighing up if he should join in the fight, as if he’s asking “Will I have to fight Midoriya, if it comes down to it? Or can the others handle this?” Something tells me he doesn’t want to have to weigh in on the fight. Maybe tear into Izuku verbally, but fight? No I don’t think he wants to do that

But also, I find it interesting that that black panel of text is under him and then it cuts to Bakugou yelling at Izuku. I mean, it could very well be Bakugou thinking that, but if that’s so, then why is Iieda the first person we see?

So, I think it’s Iieda thinking that. Tensions are rising, it seems. I’m expecting his turn to be full of a lot of emotion, or at least trying to get across to Izuku that he feels betrayed but mostly just wants Izuku to come back home.

I don’t really know what’ll happen with Iieda exactly, but I’m totally interested to see what happens

I know Bakugou has problems with his emotions and words and stuff, but I also think here he’s trying to anger Izuku in order to get him to fight back, maybe so he’s more angry than flexible in a fight, so the end result would be Izuku getting too angry to predict anything and eventually tripping up, and that’s when 1A could capture him.

The one thing to remember about Izuku is that allowing him to think is going to be the opponent’s downfall. We saw in the Kacchan VS Deku 2 fight that Bakugou knew this and so kept attacking as much as possible so Izuku wouldn’t have time to think. Which worked, because Izuku is great at analysis, so making his “Win” attitude [getting competitive therefore putting more energy into attacking than strategy] come out over his “Save” attitude [you’re my friend and I want to help you] is kind of a weakness of his. That’s kind of one of the reasons he lost that fight.

Then again, maybe Izuku has improved since then? I don’t really know but I think enough time has passed for him to have maybe improved more on that so idk we’ll see

I really love Bakugou’s expression in that bottom screencap lol

His wound!! All bandaged up!! I wonder if there’s a scar there or smthg :O

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I know Enji or Bakugou probably gave them details about the multiple quirks but I still find it wild that everyone just knows now

KOUDA! MY SWEETHEART! I’m glad he’s getting a part in this too, along with Sero. Two of them who didn’t really hang around Izuku but still want him to come back :’)

Sero and Black Whip! Finally! I mean it’s not much but it’s still better than nothing

Also, seems like Sero is trying to taunt Izuku to get him to attack him maybe [same as Bakugou feeding into Izuku’s competitive side] soooo idk Sero following Bakugou’s lead? Maybe :)

Look at how,,,, innocent Izuku looks,,,,, *head in hands* AND SERO TEACHING HIM!!

I knew this lil moment would come bite me in the ass at some point, I knew and yet I’m still tearing up goddamn

That “I thought she was going to tell me its a useless hobby” bit really drives home how Izuku’s friends are 1A, that he loves them and they were the only friends he’s ever had [except Bakugou but he was a bully at the time so I’m not really gonna count him for back then]. HOW many people before UA had gone around and told Izuku his taking notes hobby was useless? SHOW me the people!

I, mettywiththenotes, will NOT allow anybody to slander one of my own!

I know it’s like the only moment Izuku and Ojiro shared, with the sports festival thing, but it’s still really sweet that Ojiro sees that Izuku stood up for him

*head in hands*

Shouldn’t this kid be more worried that he’s likely going to get kidnapped?

“Yeah this super evil villain guy has decided he wants to kidnap me and take me away, but like nbd guys really, that’s why I left in the first place! So I wouldn’t be a burden!” Somebody get this kid a fucking therapist or some shit

This is kind of a chilling and pretty scene though. The rain falling above Izuku and him looking down with these piercing green eyes likely being the only light between them. Good stuff.

Satou! Aha I like how he’s pulling all the stops, such as “I WON’T LET YOU BORROW MY INGREDIENTS FOR ERI!”

Also let’s appreciate that Satou caught Ojiro and Jirou and managed to land on a freaking traffic light. The balance on this kid! Very well done

Kaminari putting Izuku in a headlock! How cute :)

Be cuter if they weren’t trying to subdue a martyr-complex cryptid from killing himself, but still

Does Shouji have some kind of support-item?? Or could he always do the stretchy thing?? Or I guess maybe he’s just stretching his arms out like branches [like he usually does] and using them as more like a capture weapon rather than his usual stuff. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him use his heteromorph body and quirk for anything other than the 5 senses, though I could be wrong

Also Shouji remembering what Izuku said at the training camp, I’m so glad! Shouji always seems like the kind to be so protective over his friends, so I’m glad he remembered that. Then again, Izuku did compare them to freaking ALL MIGHT, but if the nice analytical kid in your class who knows your limits and strengths says you could basically beat A GOD, then that’s definitely one for the memory scrapbook lmao

“It’s nice and dark here, Dark Shadow.” Who said that?? Kami or Izuku?? I just have this mental image of Izuku being shrouded in darkness and trying to keep his eyes open from falling asleep haha

Tokoyami remembering that from all the way back then!! It makes me think that not only have Bakugou and Izuku been watching each other, but that Izuku has always had everybody’s eyes on him! Which is true, he’s inspired everyone! It goes both ways; Izuku loving his friends, and them loving him back :’)

Kami telling him to take a bath lmao I love it. Finally somebody said it

*ugly sobbing noises*

This kind of segment, with a mask falling, a space in-between and a reveal, reminds me of Compress’ reveal :) In that, the person is hiding their identity and then when the mask comes off, they reveal who they truly are underneath

While Izuku is of course determined to go after AFO and is quite the fearsome powerhouse, I really think when he takes off that mask, he’s showing who he really is underneath - a scared little boy who just wants everyone to be happy

JESUS, SHOUTO REALLY IMPROVED HIS QUIRK HUH!! LOOK AT IT, IT’S EVEN HIGHER THAN THE SKYSCRAPERS!!

“The burden placed on you... it doesn’t allow for tears, right?” He sounds so sassy here.

Kind of like saying “Oh you look upset. But that’s weird, I thought Heroes weren’t supposed to cry.” Lol it really shows here how pissed Shouto is at Izuku

But then he relents from that snark and is like “Hey, come on, we’ll share this burden. I’m not letting you go it alone, remember that we’re all here.” :’)

I love when Shouto is sassy and passive aggressive but I also love it when he shows that soft side of him

Okay, this is something I really love.

Tsuyu didn’t join the Bakugou Rescue Squad because “they would be just like Villains breaking the rules”

But here she is, learning from that regret of hers and coming right back to make sure Izuku isn’t the one struggling. She wants to be a part of this rescue squad and pick up where she left off :)

Tsuyu has always struggled with her regrets. It was shown after Kamino when she cried, but for me, I only realised this fully during the Joint Arc when she had her regrets about not making better decisions and not being quick enough [I think that was it].

“I won’t cry in such a flurry” reminds me of “I want to live a life without regret” and so that’s what she’s saying here. This won’t be another regret of hers. She wants to do her best to save her friend

“When scared, you’re allowed to tremble when it’s tough, you’re allowed to shed tears. That’s how you become a Hero like in the comics.”

I feel like that quote piggybacks off of Shouto’s “Heroes cry too”, in that, this is now 1A comforting Izuku. This is them fully coming up to him and telling him that they can help, and that he’s allowed to feel sad about his situation. Shouto’s quote was the teaser, while this entire chapter [and the rest that come to follow] is the main course.

And this is exactly who Tsuyu is. Reassuring, comforting, someone dependable. It says a lot that she’s come from not going to help in Kamino, confessing her feelings and crying about it, then coming back in a similar situation and offering her help - that she’s not willing to just let an opportunity go to better herself. I think I remember reading a few posts on her crying after Kamino and saying it was “performative” or that she just “wanted attention” or smthg like that, but I think she’s really just quite an honest person, and here she is making a great show of how she won’t let something like her guilt slow her down from being the hero she wants to be.

[A part of me feels like this is also a little more evidence with the whole People Not Caring About Bakugou’s Feelings Of Helplessness but like. I digress. It kinda counts but at the same time, it’s not what is going on at the moment.]

Seeing everyone try to reassure Izuku was lovely, and I can’t wait for the rest. I’ve seen a lot of people waiting more for Bakugou’s portion of the battle [AND YEAH DUDE ME TOO] but I really feel like Bakugou’s won’t come until like 2 chapters later or something.

Cause, if this chapter is anything to go by, we’ll probably get through Mina, Mineta, Kirishima, Hagakure and Aoyama next chapter, and then we’ll move onto the “more important” conflicts which will be Iieda and Uraraka, and if their segments are chocked with tension drama and tears, then Bakugou will have a whole chapter to himself hopefully.

Which means we’ll probably have to wait 2 more chapters until we get that sweet, sweet Bakugou chapter :( I hope I’m wrong and it comes sooner than predicted but whatever

I know for some people, that’s all they want, but personally I love these little bits that reflect on the background characters. As someone who isn’t really obsessed with the background characters but also likes them enough to appreciate their development/the little moments they have, I gotta say I really liked this :)

#bnha #bnha 320 #bnha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #class 1a

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stillgirlfrommars · 3 years ago

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you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess.

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

#samsteve #buckynat #endgame fix it #Sam Wilson #Steve Rogers #Skinny!Steve #I know it's stupid and cheesy but everything else in my life feels a bit too much at the moment so I needed something cute to think about #Seriously though if anyone wants to use this as a prompt to draw or write... please do

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