#I know it's basically a christian song but it's such a THE FORCE song if changed to it from he

[jewish-vents]

As a proud Jew and a member of the Iŋalit Iñupiaq people I have never felt as seen as reading a Choctaw Jew's post on here. Christian missionaries hauled my people off of our lands and killed most of us and they didn't even inhabit the land. They didn't even build shit there, they just took it to take it, and I'm supposed to go "ah yes America has no colonizers" and not laugh when these people say "Hebrew is a colonizer language"? Motherfuckers, MY LANGUAGE IS EXTINCT BECAUSE OF YOU! You know who didn't ever try and force a language on anyone? The Ashke Jewish man my great-great grandmother fell for and married. People really expect me to be onboard with their fact-free zero colonialism rewrite of history while my people's lands remain off limits to us, illegal to even visit, the US government holding onto it on the off chance there might be oil there even though they never bothered to even drill for it in over 70 years.

"No other religion acts like this" first of all please read up on Islamic imperialism and get your boot off the neck of my indigenous Middle Eastern brethren and secondly Christian-governed Alaska wouldn't let Native students attend school with "American" children - that is literally how the law phrased it - unless we abandoned our language, our clothes, our songs, our stories, our religion and even traditions as basic as sharing food with poor families in the community. You wanna know how my great-great grandmother met my great-great grandfather? They were both arrested for violating the law and "indoctrinating" children into "Native, anti-European practices" by which I mean THEY WERE BOTH ARRESTED FOR GIVING FOOD TO POOR PEOPLE. They were both arrested by CHRISTIANS!

And people mistake my brown skin for proof of goy status and want to talk shit about how the only good colonizer is a dead colonizer. You're white and you're in ALASKA, you might want to rethink the words coming out of your mouth when most of your ancestors came here to mine gold and get rich and mistreat indigenous people. Even if I accepted the idea that Israel is doing colonialism, which I do not, nobody moved to Israel to get rich and rape indigenous women with impunity to the point where there are words in Inuit languages for gangrape done by white men.

I don't want to hear another thing from a white goy in Alaska about Israel being colonizers when the US bought Alaska from Russia. We were colonized twice for you to get to be here and tell me to my face how colonizers are bad. AND THEN people want to say my Ashke ancestors were colonizers. Fleeing Russia is not colonization, one, and two, WHY DO YOU THINK THEY LEFT?! For fun? What, they heard our weather was nice and wanted to come visit?

I am going to need white goyim to learn US history before they open their mouths.

I'm sorry this is long and I yelled/capslocked but I have had to bite my tongue so many times to not cause a scene because I don't want the university to come up with an excuse not to let me graduate due to poor conduct. It is so tiring. I feel like I'm holding my breath all the time. Graduation is tomorrow. Shabbat shalom.

.

[konigbabe]

heavenly sin

Pairing: RE4!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader

Word count: 3.4k

Tags/warnings: smut (pure unfiltered filth, no plot); voice kink; p-in-v sex; unprotected sex; female gendered anatomy; female masturbation; fingering; cunnilingus; established relationship; no y/n; references to Christianity and ferocity; extensive wordplay

Summary: It's been known that Leon is one kinky bastard.

A/N: Written as part of my A to Z kinks game. N is for narratophilia aka being aroused by sexual storytelling.

Tried something a little bit different to explore my knowledge of English. A wordplay of sorts (I basically threw random words together in hopes that it'd make some sense). Bon Appetit.

masterlist • navigation • faq • AO3 • ko-fi

“You enjoying yourself?” As Leon discards his gloves, casting them aside like insignificant relics, you feel the pillow crumple beneath his weight. A testament to the force of his being. The air feels sizzling hot, thick with heat and suffocating in its intensity. “If I knew my words would get you so riled up,” his other hand cups your breast, thumb circling the erected nipple and watching as goosebumps rise over the sensitive skin, “I’d do this much sooner.”

It started as a joke, a fleeting spark in the sea of banter. Leon’s flirtatious nature entwined in perfect harmony with his tender heart.

Fresh out of the shower, your heart longed for the man whose sudden departures have become routine. A standard in your life.

The sun made its final descent below the horizon, the sky painted in shades of amber and gold – the bedroom awash in a warm and inviting glow, as if every object was kissed by the sun's final rays. The light filtered through the sheer curtains, creating patterns on the floor that danced like flickering flames.

And in the midst of it all, Leon's call came through, cutting through the stillness.

The conversation began innocently. Calling to let you know he’ll be home soon. It was as though his tenderness was butterfly's wings, fluttering in your chest and making your heart skip a beat.

His sincere words slowly spilt over into something else. Something more. Something promising.

It’s now that the phone lies next to your ear, and Leon's voice, like a silk ribbon, unwinds into your consciousness, stirring a deep and primal desire within you. Building the anticipation need inside you.

“After that, I’d bent you over the table. You’d already be naked and dripping,” Leon’s voice a song of Solomon, “but I’d be far from done with you.”

A gasp, soft and quiet, escapes your parted lips. Every fibre of your body, every cell is set on fire. The setting sun casting flames over your naked skin of yours. Flesh burning. Body wrapped in a cocoon of passionate flames – your palm pressing against the sensitive nub, the pressure light as a feather. Slow, languid strokes of your fingers follow Leon’s words.

Muscles tightening as the pressure keeps adding with each sentence. Slow and steady. With a pace of a gentle stream. Dipping one finger deep inside your slick walls, only to stop when you reach fully inside.

A stream of docile moans flows from your throat.

“Just to feel you take my cock. Hear those gorgeous gasps as you beg me to give it to you,” hand gripping the messed-up sheets underneath you, squeezing tight as you add another finger, curling them upwards.

“Rough, just how you like it. Pretty sure we’d break the table,” Leon’s words are accompanied by a light chuckle, hiding much more sinister and vivid ideas inside his head.

The way his name rolls off your tongue makes him cuss. Your voice carries the weight of longing, desire, and devotion. Making Leon wish to finally be home.

“Fuck. Could spend all day between those lovely legs of yours.” Leon’s voice descends to a low murmur, tinged with raw, feral hunger.

With a touch as tender as a butterfly’s wing, thumb circling the aching nub of nerves; it ignites a wildfire of ecstasy within your body. As you lightly graze your opening, feeling the softness of your slick walls, a delicate gasp escapes your mouth, akin to a prayer of submission to this moment of pure passion and pleasure.

“Just to taste that pretty pussy of yours on my tongue.”

Leon's voice pours into the phone, rich and sinful. You hear the front door open with a soft creak, the sound echoing through your body. He's finally home, his presence filling your senses with a heady aroma of musk and lust, a tantalizing potion that you can't resist.

He gazes at you with eyes like storm clouds brewing with desire. The air is thick with the scent of sex and your yearning, hanging in the dimly lit bedroom, resembling a heavy fog. You keep your gaze locked with his, transfixed as Leon strides in, his figure outlined by the glow of light seeping in from the hallway.

You don’t stop–

–instead, your fingers delve deeper. Nails grazing the tender walls, the slight discomfort only adding to the pleasure. Like a deer caught in headlines, your eyes stay on his.

The sound of your slickness echoes in the room as you thrust in and out, unconsciously matching the rhythm of Leon's steps – left in, right out, left in, right out – a dance of carnal desire.

And just like that, he stands on the side of the bed.

Leon’s eyes gleam with a fierce intensity. A perfect blend of predatory sensuality and effortless ease. With the grace of a pather; clad in a black henley shirt, the first two buttons undone, exposing the slight curve of his clavicles. It molds to his chiseled form as though it was a second skin, making Leon exude a primal magnetism that draws you closer to your high.

Spellbound by the scene in front of him – by you; fingers deep inside, eyes glazed over with orgasmic ecstasy as your work yourself to your high.

The air is thick with the sweet scent of your desire, a heady aroma that fills his senses with an overwhelming urge to indulge in your rapture.

He steps closer, placing one knee on the bed. The mattress creaks under his weight, but his gaze never leaves yours. It's as if you're the only person in the world that matters to him right now. The heat emanating from his body is palpable, and you feel your heart race as his presence commands the room.

“You enjoying yourself?”

His tone is low. A seductive purr sends a wave of electricity through your veins. Hot like molten lava. Dripping like honey, sweet and luscious. They linger in the air, coating everything around you with a sticky warmth.

His name leaves your lips in a deep sigh. Soft walls squeeze your fingers.

As he discards his fingerless gloves, casting them aside like insignificant relics, you feel the pillow crumple beneath his weight. A testament to the force of his being. The air feels sizzling hot, thick with heat and suffocating in its intensity.

Leon’s arm flexes, the sinewy muscles bulging when put to work. Your eyes lock onto his, drinking in the raw masculinity and primal allure of his being. A contented moan escapes your lips, an instinctive reaction to the overwhelming sensuality of the moment.

“If I knew my words would get you so riled up,” his other hand cups your breast, thumb circling the erected nipple and watching as goosebumps rise over the sensitive skin, “I’d do this much sooner.”

His towering form casts a shadow over you as he leans closer. Lips so close you can almost taste the desire that emanated from him. The heat of his breath dances across your skin, making your senses swirl in a dizzying haze of lust; igniting a fire that burns with the intensity of Samson's strength.

“Wanna gimme a kiss?” he whispers, his lips almost brushing against yours. You’re still able to feel the soft graze of the plump skin atop of yours, sending a fluttering sensation to your heart.

You can't help but feel intoxicated by his voice, each word rolling off his tongue with a silky smoothness that sends shivers down your spine. It's almost like he's casting a spell, using his voice as a weapon to ensnare you in his grasp. And you willingly surrender, caught in the web of his honeyed words; like Delilah, powerless to his will, swept away by the power of his seduction.

Lips grazing his, you push your face upwards to be closer. The kiss is both gentle and fierce; a tantalizing dance of lips and tongues that leaves you breathless and wanting more. The taste of him a mix of mint and spice. You stop the movement of your wrist between your legs. Stilling, feeling the wet squeeze around your fingers, your mind becomes a blank canvas, a vast expanse of nothingness.

The taste of him lingers on your tongue as he pulls away. Thick fingers wrapping around your wrist, he nudges your fingers out of you. A displeased grunt leaves your lips at the sudden emptiness. Only to have your breath stop; watching as Leon brings your hand, fingers visibly sticky with your juices, tongue swirling around the tip of your index finger before taking two of the fingers in his mouth. It’s as if he’s tasting the forbidden fruit, savoring the flavor of your arousal like the sweetest nectar.

Feeling the wet tip of his tongue swirl around your fingers, you can’t help but let out a soft moan. The rough texture brushes over the pads of your fingers. Licking every drop of you off of your fingers, leaving them clean before he licks his own lips.

“Missed that taste.”

His eyes never leave yours, dark and intense with desire as he slowly releases your hand.

“Missed you almost that much too.”

His words wash over you like a warm embrace, seeping into your pores and settling deep within your bones. As his body moves over yours, his hands glide across the burning expanse of your skin, tracing patterns of passion that leave you breathless in anticipation. The soft touch of his lips on your navel sends ripples of pleasure through your body, each sensation building on the last until you're gasping for air.

Leon sinks to his knees at the end of the bed; his movements smooth and graceful. Years of never-ending training left him in full control of every muscle. Arms sliding underneath your knees, he holds you firmly as he grips your hips with unyielding strength.

A single tug. Confident in its prosecution. He brings you to the edge of the bed, your glistening cunt hovering in front of his face. The sight of him there, between your legs, both captivating and overwhelming.

The wet tip of his tongue peaks from within his kiss-bruised lips.

Before you know it, you’re completely undone. A mess. Leon's tongue turns your body into a temple of pleasure; his movements sinuous and calculated. With each flick and swirl of his tongue, he's coaxing you to heights of ecstasy.

His tongue traces every inch of your throbbing cunt, flicking and teasing your clit as you squirm beneath him, one hand grasping his soft hair while the other squeezes your breast. His fingers, thick and rough, plunge deep inside of you, finding all the right spots to drive you wild. Each thrust of his hand sends jolts of pleasure through your body, making you moan and writhe with need.

"Such a fucking filthy little thing," he growls against your skin, the heat of his breath making you shiver. He devours you with his mouth and hands, taking you to the brink of ecstasy and back again; fingers scissoring and pumping, working you over until you're a quivering mess of desire.

The blunt pressure of the tips of his fingers pressing mildly against your inner walls sending pinnacles of bliss across your body until you’re mewling at the sharp pleasure that ripples down your spine.

You claw at the sheets, unable to control the waves of sensation that crash over you.

And then, with a final, shuddering gasp, you let yourself go, your body convulsing in waves of pure pleasure. Ecstasy; Leon’s name a sweetened melody on the tip of your tongue.

He stands up afterwards, a towering figure before your eyes. Your aching legs fall from his shoulders onto the bed. Leon looms over you, appearing almost god-like, a divine being sent to ravage you with its passion.

Disposing of his shirt, you lay on the bed motionless, senses on high and in anticipation as you watch the man strip. With every article of clothing that comes off, Leon’s body reveals itself in all its glory. Shoulders and chest sculptured, shaped by years of intense training. Someone who’s worked hard to achieve such a physique. Rippling muscles that flex with every movement he makes. His arms thick with veins and biceps that bulge with raw strength, capable of holding you up effortlessly. You can see every ridge of his abs, each one chiseled to perfection.

“Enjoyin’ the view?” he rasps after ridding himself of the last article while you shamelessly stare at Leon’s sheer size and the strength of him.

“Very much,” you breathe out when he crawls on top of you.

His cock rests atop your stomach, heavy and pulsing with need; leaking as he marks you in his precum. Yet, neither of you moves. Unbothered, you remain locked in his gaze before his lips capture yours in a short passionate kiss. Drawn together by the irresistible pull of gravity, your lips meet in a collision of desire and longing.

Legs wrapping high around his waist, his hand leaves the side of your neck and travels the side of your body, igniting a trail of heat as it goes. Leon strokes the length of your thigh, only stopping when his fingers rest under your knee momentarily. Then you feel the blunt tip press against your aching cunt. The anticipation inside you unravels like a tightly wound spool, releasing a flood of sensations that spreads throughout your body.

“Ready?” he breathes out; his warm breath tickles your skin as his lips brush against yours once again.

The silky texture of his hair brush against your fingertips. Legs tightening around his upper body, you pull him closer to you. “Yeah.”

The pressure against your throbbing cunt intensifies as Leon presses forward. The crown of his cock splits you open with ease, enveloping him. Welcoming him eagerly in your wet heat. As if he belongs there.

Leon’s touch’s electric, sending shivers down your spine as he claims you with each bite and kiss. His teeth graze your chin, softly nibbling at the skin as he lets out a guttural grunt. Keeping one hand on the side of your neck, possessive and tender, surely to feel the rapid pulse of your jugular vein, he hooks his thumb underneath your jaw and pushes upwards.

When your head is tilted upwards enough to his satisfaction, his lips latch on the front of your neck. Small, quick bites decorate the stretched skin. Followed by a wet kiss, he sucks on the skin. Vulnerable and exposed.

Moans cascade from your lips, an ode to his cock splitting you apart slowly. A divine intrusion into your depths, filling you.

He stills when he’s buried balls deep inside of you; bottoms out in your quivering walls, slick with post-orgasmic arousal.

The feeling of fullness, of being completely filled, is almost too much to bear. Your breath hitches in your throat, body trembling with pleasure as it strains to accommodate him; to make enough space to take him in.

Your eyes flatter shut as he waits, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck while his hand cups the underside of your breast with his thumb teasing your nipple in a leisurely manner.

A moment of content falls between you. Bodies molded together; two halves of a whole.

After a few seconds, you press the sole of your feet into his skin, feeling the taunt muscle contract underneath you.

A subtle but unmistakable gesture. A wordless plea for more.

A fuck me of sorts.

Your body speaks volumes, a language he's learned to decipher. And with a low growl, he responds to your invitation. A low roll of his hips. A test of your readiness. It becomes a measured beat that tests your strength, the pressure of his cock firmly pressed against the walls of your cervix.

It has you sent into a harmonious frenzy.

Leon continues with the rhythm. Relishing in the tight squeeze of your cunt, in the way you sing for him, his name a sacred hymn on your lips. Your body responds eagerly to his touch, every nerve ending on fire as pleasure courses through you.

His hands sear a blazing trail on your burning flesh. Every touch feels as if he’s branding you, etching himself onto your skin.

The wetness of his lips causes goosebumps to raise on your skin. Moving like a reverent prayer. Worship of your body as his tongue swipes over your sensitive nipples.

Your name escapes his lips and is met with a low moan.

Tantalizing and peaceful.

Leon’s unhurried movements slowly transform into something more. Rough and hasty. Teeth nibbling at your jawline, feeling the bone underneath the skin, your nails bite into the tight muscle of his shoulder blades. Surely to leave indents that will bloom into bruises and marks. Your back arch, offering yourself up to him as you focus on meeting his thrusts.

As his hand wanders down the length of your body, his fingers dance along the curves of your waist and hips before grazing the globes of your ass; giving it a rough squeeze before wrapping his fingers under your knee and pulling away from your neck.

Meanwhile, his other hand braces his body weight by your face. Leon’s fingers entwine around your ankle. Pushing your leg up and over his shoulder, you moan over the painful stretch of your hamstring as he gazes at you.

He moves with a frenzied urgency. Lowering himself to rest on his elbows, his fingers find their way to your clit.

The way he flicks over the sensitive nub elicits a series of moans and cries from you only to be silenced by his lips crashing onto yours.

The kiss is wet and messy. Hungry. Both of you eager to take and dominate, his tongue dancing with yours in a frenzied manner.

It's like he's a man possessed, lost in the rhythm of his movements and the feel of your body beneath him. You writhe and moan, lost in a haze of sensation and desire as he takes you higher towards that ultimate release. That sweet orgasm. Every motion is a symphony, a perfect blend of power and finesse, as he explores the contours of your body with a deep hunger.

Mind becoming blurry, your senses are consumed by the raw, primal desire Leon elicits with his thrusts. Moving to brace himself better, it feels impossible when you feel the blunt pressure hit even deeper than before. Gasping, you move your hips, trying to take him as deep as possible.

The smell of sweat and sex fills the air, and you can hear the sound of skin slapping against the skin as Leon moves with increasing speed and intensity. His determination to tear you apart only grows each time your hips meet, sending bolts of electricity throughout your every cell. His thumb flicks over your clit, applying pressure and circling the aching bud until you’re quivering underneath the mass of a man above you. Inside you.

The sound of his grunts and moans blends into a symphony of pleasure, each note building up the tension within you. You feel like a volcano on the brink of eruption, bubbling with molten passion until it finally snaps. Erupts.

A tidal wave of pleasure washes over you. Sweeping you in a vortex of delight. A thousand stars explode in your mind, each one brighter than the last, painting your vision with vibrant colors. Your body convulses, spasming in rhythm with the waves of pleasure that ripple through you.

Gasps leave your lips. Desperate for air, you cling to Leon, whose thrusts never wavered. Whose fingers continue to tease your clit, now throbbing and exploding with sensitivity. His eyes lock on yours, lips parted with low moans escaping from between before you bring his face down to you, swallowing each cry of pleasure but eventually, he pulls away.

You watch as Leon’s eyes snap shut, brows furrowing in pleasure as he stills. His full length buried inside of your spasming cunt, filling you up with his cum.

Your body’s spent. Yet your mind’s still reeling from the sheer intensity as Leon remains buried inside; his breath ragged and uneven before he pulls out with measured slowness, teasing your oversensitive clit with a gentle tap. You shudder at the sensation of him trickling out of you.

“Hi.”

The simple word leaves your mouth in a breathless whisper. A mere welcome that was meant to be addressed when he first entered your home instead of now. A warmth spreads through your body, settling low in your belly as you take in the sight of him; the way his blond hair falls across his forehead, resembling a halo of an angel. Cheeks tinted in light pink and lips curved into a small smile as he looks at you.

“Hi.”

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Angel Dust Redesign! (7/7)

FINALLY I AM DONE WITH THE MAIN 7 FREAKS.

Depending how I feel I might throw in some bonuses but these guys are your only guarantees! Going to be posting the full lineup separately because I don’t want to clutter this post!!

God okay where to start. I was talking about them in Husk’s post so let’s go with that. Angel’s clothing restrictions are his necklace and shoes. I might go on a bit of a tangent with this so forgive me 💔

For the necklace let me get this out of the way: yes it is a BDSM thing! I’m terrified people are going to take this as me being a weirdo but please as an adult content creator give me some space to explain before anyone jumps on me and hits me with a metal pipe. The intentions behind symbolism matter HEAVILY. I am against Vivzie’s portrayal of Angel’s abuse and the chain/collar imagery because it is blatantly either her being incredibly uncreative or her inserting her kinks into her shows. I think it is completely fine to use suggestive items in this way as long as the intentions are clear and not just there for no reason.

I would’ve probably done something else like a corset as a restriction, but I’d like to stop being so shy about Angel’s actual job. He is a pornstar and removing that outward aspect of him is taking a big chunk of his character away. I need more people to acknowledge that Angel enjoys sex and actively wanted to explore this side of himself. With the slip chain however, I would also like to portray how things Angel enjoys in his job have been used against him and made him come to resent what he does when he is forced into it. I think thats a pretty understandable thing to show.

This is harder to explain but the gist of it is just don’t be afraid to acknowledge Angel’s job. It’s okay to use sexual things as metaphors. Have you heard any christian song ever/hj

Alright with that out of the way, with the shoes. Angel’s feet are a large insecurity and discomfort of his which already makes his shoes some sort of restriction on their own, however if controlled, they can be made to stumble forward, fall over, etc. I wanted to show how Angel has freedom to go mostly wherever he pleases, though once again, that free will can be taken away very quickly.

I hated his suit so all suiting is gone entirely. He’s supposed to look attractive or eye catching at the very least. I’ve also added back the outer fangs he had in my first redesign!

I am much happier with the new one in comparison to this old guy. I know it’s only a few months old but you can really see how differently I draw him and the details I pay attention to more like the shape of his hair. Aside from the old one! I wanted Angel himself to still keep the reddish pink to show wrath and destain being masked as lust, except now his clothing is actually the pinkish-purple lust colour and it covers more eye grabbing parts of his body like the chest, hands, hips, and so on.

I don’t think I’ve ever outwardly mentioned Angel having polycoria but he does and it’s probably my favourite feature to draw aside from his hair. About the hair and fur: Angel used to have spots and basic stripes before his contract with Valentino, where afterwards they began to curl into their cordiform shapes. Most physical overlord changes with hair and skin tend to not go away, so depending on who you make a contract with it’s either a fun perk or a sort of scar.

Once again, not sure if I will be continuing with anymore in this specific lineup, but if I do end up posting more of these I really hope you like those too! 💣

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my mom to stop singing?

okay so a couple months back i (a uni student) moved out of my old apartment and back in with my parents while i try to find a new one. the only issue is, since i first moved away, my parents had moved into a smaller house than they had when me and my siblings were growing up. they now have their bedroom and my dad's study, but no additional bed or guest rooms. for this reason, i have been sleeping on their living room couch.

my mom also doesn't have a room of her own, so her laptop is also in the living room, as is mine. so basically the living room is our shared domain for the time we spend at home. i have class and friends to spend time with, so i'm away relatively frequently (though i'm on winter break now of course), while my mom is retired and is at home basically 95% of the time year-round.

me and my mom both listen to music a lot and our tastes do not overlap basically at all. i listen mostly to indie, folk, rock, the kind of stuff white queer kids love, while my mom's music is almost entirely soulful christian pop about big j and stuff.

up until recently, my mom didn't wear headphones. she'd play music directly from her laptop speakers. this obviously bothered me somewhat, but i hadn't said anything about it. recently (i.e. a couple weeks ago) i asked her if she'd consider starting to wear headphones, which she has for the most part, though sometimes she forgets. i just kinda let her do whatever if she does, i haven't mentioned it again since.

so that's the first time i asked my mom to be quieter, and i don't think i'm an asshole for that. my worry is about the second time. you see, over the last week, she's taken to singing along to her tunes. maybe she did that before and i just didn't notice over the actual song itself? anyway, i can definitely hear it now.

and of course it's not the best musical performance, it's a lady with little singing experience belting along to her favourite songs, but it's not really about the quality of the singing. i don't like the music she likes and would prefer not to listen to it, is all.

today, whilst she was singing, i gently asked her: "could you stop singing?" i didn't mean forever, just in that moment. i really tried to say it in a nice way, and i don't think i sounded particularly rude? it should be noted, though, that my parents do seem to think of me as some kind of sensitive sally intent on criticizing every little thing they do. that feeling does kind of go both ways, but i admit sometimes i can be harsh on my mom, because she can be overbearing and a bit neurotic, and i don't really get to have the space i wish i could, especially not now when i'm living with them.

anyway, so i ask: "could you stop singing?" and my mom says something like "okay- well, i would prefer not to." the way she said it really made it sound like i had hurt her feelings. so i said, "okay. that's alright. you can sing." she stopped singing and has been sort of running around for the last 10 minutes or so restlessly doing random things.

my parents are that kind of people who are really really deep in "politeness" and genuinely baffle me since i'm autistic (like, a couple of days ago we had some leftover cake, and my dad straight up forced me to take half of what was left over even though i said i didn't want it. i still don't really know why?) so i'm sure even though i said "okay, nevermind then," my mom didn't believe me.

while she was running around doing random things, i told her, "sorry if i hurt your feelings." and she said, "oh, it's nothing." i genuinely don't know if i'm in the wrong here. i feel like, on the one hand, this is a space we have to share, and i should have the right to ask her not to make noise (i always wear headphones and never sing along to music or vc with friends when my parents are around), but on the other hand, it's her house, and she should have the right to sing in it, right? i don't know.

TL;DR: i asked my mom to stop singing in the only space for our computers in the house and i'm pretty sure it upset her. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[tyrantisterror]

My Personal History with My Good Friend, Satan

My first encounter with The Devil - that I can remember, at least - came when I was about three or so. My mom liked to borrow VHS tapes from libraries to show me and my siblings a lot, and one of the libraries she used was the one at our church. It was a small and obviously very religion-centric collection, but it left a notable mark on me - like, that's where I saw this weird, kinda shitty cartoon version of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe which might be responsible for irreconcilably fucking up my taste in women? I just have this distinct memory of watching the scene where Edmund is tempted by the White Witch and thinking, "Yeah, he's making the right call." If anything I was frustrated that he hesitated - three year old me was already simping for this woman. Just imagine a child channeling Ernie Hudson in Ghostbusters and growling, "When a terrifying and beautiful woman offers you candy and a private sleigh ride, you say YES!" and that's basically me as a kid.

Where was I? Right, Satan. So, the other video from that library I remember was this cartoon retelling of Bible stories, and really I just remember the Adam and Eve part. The temptation scene had this huge, super gnarly-looking demonic red snake in it, and he was so cool and badass and I was already predisposed to like snakes anyway, so of course he was my instant favorite. But, like almost all media featuring reptiles that captured my little child heart, he turned out to be the bad guy - literally The Devil, in this case - and was punished at the end of the story. And that pissed me off.

Sometime shortly thereafter - or at least that's how I remember it, this was over thirty years ago so things might be smushed closer together than they really were by the fog of ages - some of the kids in my preschool chastised me for liking snakes. "Don't you know the devil is a snake? Snakes are evil!" I remembered the movie, and it made me angry.

Because snakes aren't evil, and as a kid I knew that because my parents taught me it. Snakes were just animals, they don't know right from wrong, and to call them evil it to judge them for what they are, not what they do. That experience taught me a very important lesson: The Devil is a tool to make people hate the innocent. And as I'd later learn, snakes were far from the only innocents people would vilify because of a demonic association.

The second time I met the devil came a few years later, when I was six or seven or so. My Grampa and Grams liked to take us up North to Mackinac City and the Upper Peninsula each summer, and I have a lot of fond memories of those trips, but there was one in particular that's relevant to this discussion. We saw a sign for a "laser light show" in the shopping district, and I got to stay up late to see it with my family. The show in question was basically a cartoon projected into the night sky adapting the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia. It was super primitive and hokey and cornball and terrible and I loved every second of it. I was enchanted, absolutely delighted with the spectacle and the silly song where the devil was less a force of evil and more a comically bumbling inept supervillain - one of my favorite archetypes, even back then. So that's the second lesson about the devil I learned: The Devil can be fun sometimes.

Now, Godzilla, one of the few reptile characters I encountered as a kid who didn't end up a villain (at least not in the first movie of his I saw, Godzilla vs. Megalon), had already set me on the path to loving monsters of all stripes and, by extension, horror fiction in general, so as I grew up I had many more encounters with the devil. But while I warmed up quickly to most monster archetypes, like vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc., I always felt dismissive of demons. It kind of coincided with me becoming disillusioned with Christianity as a whole, in fact. A story about fighting evil, Christian-style demons is ultimately an allegory for fighting evil as defined by Christianity, and Christianity's definition of what evil is, well, sucks. It's bad! They got some things right, but some things horribly wrong. The devil is the tool Christianity uses to make you hate the innocent, and I struggled to enjoy a lot of demon stories because of that. Still do with some, in fact.

There were exceptions, of course - I loved The Evil Dead series as soon as I saw it at too-early-of-an-age, but then, the demons in it aren't super Christian. They aren't repelled by holy water or crucifixes or prayer, and in fact God and Jesus barely get mentioned in the series and never come up as a potential solution. They're kind of secular as demons go, and maybe that made them easier to stomach. But overall, demons ranked pretty low in the hierarchy of monsters to me - they were too tainted by the religion that spawned them for me to enjoy.

Until college, anyway. I quietly renounced my faith during my Freshmen year, and then, as if seeking one last chance at redemption in my eyes, the devil came to me again the following year. That's when I had a class on Medieval literature, and was exposed to far older devil stories than I had ever seen before. And Medieval devils kick ass. They have so much more personality and variety than I had come to expect, and some are downright affable, even sympathetic to a degree. It was one of many moments in college when I realized there was much more to a topic I'd previously written off as boring and trite.

This is when I read Dante's The Divine Comedy and Milton's Paradise Lost and Marlowe's Faust and Ben Johnson's The Devil Is An Ass. It's when I read early Gothic Horror novels like Matthew Gregory Lewis's The Monk, and dived into The Twilight Zone, which has more than a few episodes that are updates of medieval-style devil folktales in a more modern (i.e. 1960's) setting. And so many of these works presented the Devil not as a stand-in for everything Christianity hates, but as a person - a deeply flawed person, yes, but a person with actual wants and feelings and thoughts of his own, a person who was interesting and compelling - and sometimes funny, and sometimes charming, and sometimes really sad. There was, dare I say... sympathy for the devil growing in my heart.

In the last year of my undergraduate studies, I attended my college's yearly Medieval Studies Congress, where people from all over the world came to Kalamazoo just to share their research papers on medieval history and literature. One girl's thesis paper was on the subject of "rueful devils," i.e. depictions of demons in literature where they wanted to repent their sins and redeem themselves, which uniformly ended with the devils' hopes being dashed as they could not fully repent. This idea... possessed me. The idea that the devil could repent, or at least try to - that there could be hope even in the most debauched sinner. It was such a good narrative trope in my eyes - why did it die out centuries ago?

Well, because the church didn't like it, you see. If the devil can repent - if the Absolute King of Evil can choose to become a good person - then he's not very useful as a tool to make people hate the innocent anymore. The devil MUST be "pure evil" to work as intended. A rueful devil, a repentant devil, a devil that can be redeemed, forces us to be more forgiving and kind. It forces us to be better. It prevents us from hating people because an old book says so. And some people just couldn't have that, and so the trope died.

...

After I got my bachelor's degree, I entered the job market and, after applying to fifty different places or so, was finally hired as a high school english teacher about two weeks before the school year started. Said school year was the worst year of my life. Like, I've had extreme self loathing issues and suicidal ideation since, like, sixth grade, but holy shit it was NEVER as bad as it was in that nine month stretch between 2012 and 2013. There was this bridge I had to cross on the way to work each morning, and about two months in the job was so stressful that part of my morning routine was thinking, "You know, if I just swerve to the right, this can all be over and I'll never have to worry again." About halfway in I began drastically losing weight despite not changing my diet or getting more exercise and it was so traumatic that to this day whenever my weight starts to drop my initial reaction is dread rather than excitement. I impulse bought the first two Kung-Fu Panda movies and, after watching each for the first time and crying hideously, proceeded to watch them on repeat for an entire weekend while sobbing myself hoarse for reasons I couldn't comprehend at the time.

I was in Hell. And the devil met me there.

I started writing a story during that year. I didn't get very far, just a couple chapters, but it was one of the few things that gave me a sense of accomplishment. Despite all the stress and sadness and misery, I made something. It was a story about demons, and Hell, and trying to make your life better even when the world around you seems deadset on making you suffer as much as possible.

When my bosses called me into their office at the end of that year and told me that I had to quit my job so the assistant principal could take my teaching position and survive the downsizing they'd get next year, and that if I didn't quit they'd give me the lowest teacher evaluation they could and make it supremely difficult for me to get hired elsewhere... I was relieved. I'd been let out of Hell. After a handful of months left to finish out the year, I was free.

And then I went home, with nothing. No job, no desire to pursue the career for which I'd spent five years and an ungodly amount of money getting a degree to pursue, no nest egg, nothing. Nothing except a few chapters of a book.

The years that followed were hard. I did a lot of temp work, it took me a very long time to find something that worked for me. I may have left the worst year of my life, but there was still a lot of misery waiting for me. And through it all, I felt the need to accomplish... something, ANYTHING. I had to make something to prove I had a reason to exist, even if it was something that only had value to me.

With three years of work, those chapters became my first novel, No Sympathies: A Tale of Those Who Trespass Against Us. It was about the devil, and Hell, and finding salvation even when things seem inescapably bleak. It was my first novel, and now, eight years later, it's the first of five.

The devil saved my life. He saw me at my lowest, lifted me up, whispered, "It'll be ok. You have to keep going. I'll be with you, but you have to keep going," and goddammit, he kept me from swerving right.

That's when I learned the greatest truth about the devil, at least to me. The devil is a tool to make people hate the innocent, yes, this is true, but because of that, the devil can be a savior for the broken, the beaten, and the damned. You can feel like you're worthless, wretched, and doomed. But if the devil can rise from Hell, if the devil can choose to change, if people are willing to pray for the one sinner who needs it most - then there's hope for you too, isn't there?

Demons are creatures of rebellion - against God, against nature, against the powers that be, against doom and damnation itself. They were made to be a tool to hurt the innocent, but that's not what they have to be. Devils can lift us up, because no matter how far you fall, no one can say whether it's the end for you except you.

...I would like to point out that I am being figurative here. The devil does not literally exist, at least not in my view of things. He's a fictional character, nothing more. But he's a prolific fictional character, and how we portray him can say so much about us. And, to me, he is a dear friend, despite being imaginary, because the devil was there for me when I was low, and it was on his wings that I rose from doom.

...again, figuratively, not literally.

[thewhizzyhead]

hi its me so back when wattblr was at its peak (2020), watt basically gave me a drug that made me really fuckin creative and want to do a bajillion musicals. 4 years later, warriors has now force-fed me this drug again. Welcome back to me being annoying as fuck woo here's the Izzy Original Rambly Musical Masterlist - Part 1

+ Misfits - been developing this SINCE I WAS 13 and um its Basically A Show Within A Show idea inspired by my past experiences with my former church and their Christmas musicals. TO UNDERSTAND THIS HERE IS SOME BACKSTORY: so when I was 10-13 I used to be in Christmas musicals staged by my sunday school. These musicals were Pilipino translations (the songs stayed English) of Typical American Children Christmas Musicals found on youtube (check out A Rocking Royal Christmas on YouTube yes we did a Filipino translation of that and I played the narrator when I was 11 I'm not kidding). When I was 13, I wanted to make something more resonant to the teen crowd as um to be quite honest the stuff my fellow Sunday school people were going through were Fucking Heavy and i wanted to feature that + I always knew that the Very Kiddy Musicals we set up were mainly a show for the parents and all that. I wanted a message of faith that actually resonated with my age group - and i developed it far enough that at 14, i was commisioned by my sunday school teachers to work with the church's orchestra in actually having this developed! But 15 happened and I started questioning a lot of the stuff my Sunday school and church does in terms of like politics, mental health stuff, sexuality and identity and pressuring me and my fellow teens to become something we were not, and it really felt alienating, almost as if I was simply putting on a show to appease all those that look to me and want me to be the Best of Young Christian Soldiers

So the concept of Misfits is um okay just read this ramble i wrote 3 years ago that is MUCH MORE COHERENT AND COHESIVE than the descriptions ive been whipping up for three hours now:

There is more to this like I have been developing this for 7 years now and there IS A TRACKLIST and each character has a storyline and a certain dynamic with all of the characters - like all are connected one way or another - but the basic gist is:

1.) The Narrators Put On A Show For The Religious Audience, then Start Crumbling at The Questions Presented and Prompted by The Misfits, but also Upon The Realization Of How Much Pressure They Are Under in Supporting A Narrative They Are Conditioned To Unquestionably Trust + the reveal of the secrets they hide and deny about themselves in order to seem as the Perfect Model Christian (sexuality, mental health issues, parental/pastoral pressures, abuse, psychological trauma as a result of Putting On The Show - the Time Travel element is not just there for the purposes of the show, it has a very important plot element too that connects the leader of the Narrators with the defacto leader of the Misfits) + how do they deal with these secrets being slowly revealed when They Know They Are Being Watched

2.) The Misfits Try To Navigate The Strange Musical Scenario and Why The Narrators Seem Preachy, While Also Being Forced to Address Their Pasts and Presents on why They Are Deemed "Misfits" in the First Place (outside of Christian conservatism, there exists undeniable concern for the wellbeing of the "Misfits" aka juvenile delinquency and poverty, mental health issues, and um the defacto leader being a Former Member of the Narrators wHICH WILL BECOME THE RUNNING THREAD TO THE PLOT TWIST which is why they were chosen in the first place), so basically The Misfits Are Challenged to Acknowledged that They Are Indeed Troubled (especially with carefully planted plot points and script prompts used by the Narrators to have these in the open) - but the original Producers Approved plotline has them Turn Back To God, but how can they do so if the problems they face are rooted in the current religious institutions in place? That is the question presented by the Misfits to the Narrators - which is what causes their show to fall apart

3.) Through Questioning The Mission They Were Given and the Environments That Mandate Them To Do So Despite Their Own Struggles (Narrators), and Through Questioning Themselves, Their Struggle, and The Acknowledgment That They Do Need Help (Misfits), the two groups face what I want to be the ultimate thesis question of the musical: when you grow up, where does one find hope? This is my attempt at breaking down the concept of religion because ultimately, people look to a higher figure in the dream of hope and the want for answers - thus, religion cannot ultimately be taken away from people who truly want and seek it. But we gotta deconstruct the narrative that hope is only limited to these religious institutions - and criticism must be relayed to the institutions that mandate that people serve them for the hope they supposedly provide but subsequently break because of prejudice, conservatism, and close-mindedness towards the people the Bible says to serve above all.

So yea the thesis slogan is basically: grow as you go, redefine your mission, and break the script if needed be.

Also it's pop rock, very inspired by SPRING AWAKENING, we are the tigers, and a dash or rent. The songs are English when They Are Part of the Producer's script, and Tagalog when They Are Not Part of the Script (like the characters being honest or unexpected rebuttals to the narrators' preaching moments or when the narrators themselves reveal their secrets). Otherwise, dialogue is taglish YAY

[skyj80]

more info about Ángelito cuz im invested. please anything

I GOTCHU I GOTCHU I ALWAYS WANNA TALK ABOUT MY SON

the way I imagine Ángel looking is based off my big brother (just tanner) Side by side comparison of my bro and Ángel

His favorite musical artists are Lauryn Hill, Bruno Mars, and 50 cent

One of his favorite things to do is write lyrics to carmen's beats (she does instrumental stuff on her guitar)

He likes to freestyle rap

He has undiagnosed dyslexia

When his family got a cat, he named it coquí

he says "im sleepy, like, all the time" (someone tell this boy about depression)

He doesn't actually know Carmen named him, he thinks he was named after his dad (if u want the name lore lmk) (oooo u want the name lore so bad. you really really wanna ask my about the name lore)

he took baseball for a while and HATED it (hispanic right of passage. we've all had to take baseball at one point.)

Since carmen can no longer be the first to go to college like she always wanted he feels pressured by the rest of the family to be the first

really good at video games

mainly watches cartoons/anime

unreligious like his mom (his dad and sister are christian. His mom was christain when he was growing up but lost her faith over time)

opposite to carmen (who is always trying to see the best in their parents) Ángel see's his mom and dad very negatively

got drunk ONCE at a party and it was incredibly traumatic for him (there is gonna be a whole scene and song for that moment)

good cook

forces himself to drink his coffee with milk even though he prefers it black (his mom drinks her coffee black he doesn't like having anything in common with her)

He and Dahlia (carmen's girlfriend) have days out where she will drive him to the mall and buy him shit

always wearing a hoodie

I don't have a love interest in mind for him (nor do I think there will be character like that for him) but I think his perspective of love was skewed due to his mom and dads marriage and was only mended when he saw how deeply Carmen and Dahlia loved each other (Ángel is gonna have a song where he basically kicks his feet and giggles at the thought of his future wife)

Definitely gets the "ay bendito" treatment from his family due to his grades and lack of girlfriend LKJHGDHJK

Ill probably add to this list as I think of more

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT MY BOY ILY

[f0point5]

I fully support the Jos Hate Brigade coming after the Ocons, also what is up with Anthony Hamilton👀👀 i am honestly getting irritated with people acting like Jos is the devil incarnate, completely ignoring how Max seems to have a pretty good relationship with him (and that radio message telling him how proud he is of him was actually so sweet)

Anthony Hamilton remortgaged his house, and quit his full time job in IT (I believe to be a contractor) to manage Lewis’s karting career. All this while he had a wife and other kids to support.

Nowhere near as bad as Ocon’s parents because while Lewis likes to insinuate that he crawled out of the gutter like a Victorian street urchin, the Hamiltons by all accounts, were a middle class family (owned property, Anthony worked a steady, skilled job). Him quitting his job didn’t mean he didn’t have income, as far as I’m aware. Contracting work pays a lot more than fixed income, you are just able to take breaks in between contracts and have a more flexible schedule, and he had the skills to return to full time work if he wanted. So not as far as betting his family’s future but still..pretty sure Lewis was about 9 at this point.

Also, he managed Lewis’s career for a long time. He was the meddling parent. Lewis eventually fired him in I think 2010. It came out that Anthony had misled Lewis over a deal that had lost him a lot of money (around 20 million if I remember right), which Anthony tried to conceal because he thought he could fix it. Lewis fired him and they then weren’t speaking, but Anthony publicly claimed that Lewis owed him about 4 million for his services as a manager. Lewis said last year that having his dad as his manager meant his dad basically wasn’t able to be an emotional available father to him.

All that, and I believe that Anthony was the one who contacted Christian about a red bull seat last year without Lewis knowing, because he’s still a meddler.

He just seems like he lived through Lewis. He gives interviews saying nothing good ever happened to him (bro you’ve been married twice and have two kids…rude) but it did for Lewis, and how driving for Ferrari was always his dream for Lewis. He also just has that same “life was oh so tough for me poor me” vibe that he seems to have forced on his son. It’s crystal clear he was the pushiest of dads, which don’t get me wrong, you need in order for a kid to be successful, but to choose to be a manager rather than a father when it matters…is he your son or your product?

Idk, he’s giving Jos Verstappen, and not in a good way. Lewis talking about his experience with his dad and comparing it to Max’s the other week in the press was the only time I was like, “yes king speak”. And to be fair he was very respectful. But he point blank said he knew how unhelpful it was when the lines get blurred.

On the Max note, I always say Jos wouldn’t get the wrap he does if more people knew what it takes to get a kid to this less of sport. Jos made his mistakes 100% but you won’t get your kid to F1 by being the perfect parent. Also, Jos did a lot wrong but you can see he probably did more right. People overlook how rare it is to be able to have the relationship he has with Max. To be Max’s age, with Max’s achievements, and his resources, and still want Jos around that much and for them to be that close, that doesn’t come from a relationship with no positives. People act like Jos was tough on Max 100% of the time, but if he wasn’t emotional present, Max wouldn’t want him around all the time, in a personal capacity. He has said many times that he calls Jos for advice on personal stuff. The fact that Max’s favourite song is still the one he used to listen to in the van with Jos on their way to Italy speaks volumes. And for all his “Verstappen 2.0” shit, it’s clear that he appreciates Max as a son. And he seems to have a good relationship with his other kids. (My controversial theory is that he is a soft girl dad but that’s a whole other thing). But yeah basically I think he is over-roasted by people who don’t really understand the industry of high performing kids.

[tvlipsandbread]

Today I read Song of the Magdalene, thanks to my friend (ily Lee <3), anyways, it’s a “Christian novel” but it’s a fictional piece. It entails of the adventures, love and tragedy of Mary Magdalene before she met Jesus. Obviously we have no clue what her life was like, but the book was interesting nonetheless and a good read. So if you already planned to read it at some point here’s a spoiler alert.

So basically the part of the book that consumes my thoughts is the relationship between Miriam ( Mary) and her love interest Abraham. Abraham is cripple, unfortunately the religious people of those times did not view it as an illness or disability, instead they dubbed him an idiot ( he was very intelligent) and cursed, or plagued by evil. Miriam also discovered and hid the fact that she experienced “fits” (she had epilepsy, I think). Anyways they fell in love, and religious or not I think it’s a type of love anyone would want.

Bear with me as I try to get to my point. Her father is rather wealthy, she’s of “age”(she was fifteen💀) and she needs to get married, she’s expected to get married to a proper Jewish man. She’s very independent and unlike the other women in her village, she also has the seizures which she keeps a secret from the majority (which makes her undesirable and not a proper fit,her words not mine). She wants to marry Abraham, but he’s cripple, it would look bad, they aren’t even sure if it was possible to conceive children in the union. So she decides she’ll never marry. Her relationship with Abraham blossoms despite this. In the latter part of the book he gets sick, and everyone in the household can tell that he’ll die. They kiss, sleep side by side, she takes care of him, she’s washed his body, oiled his feet yadda yadda, and it’s suggested that they had sex because she does end up carrying his child. He ends up dying, and her father is on edge about the pregnancy, he didn’t want his grandchild to be a “bastard”. He wished more than anything that Abraham pulled out the ring before he died, that they made their union official and public, forcing the community to accept them, it never happened. I don’t know the exact quote word for word, but Miriam says something kinda like this “married in the eyes of the creator” and calls him her husband.

Now, if anyone even sees this, I know some members of the faith might have something to say about it. It put the whole meaning of marriage in a new perspective for me. Can two people be married before they’ve actually gotten married?. I’ve never been in love so what do I know, but let’s say two people are in love, it’s a pure, honest love that’s pleasing to God. Is it possible (both partners are of faith) that God could bless the union, and accept it as a marriage, even without the ring, or the vows, or the ceremony. I would like to think so. Based on my knowledge, marriage in a spiritual point of view is not about any of those things, isn’t it the joining of two souls under the watchful eye of the Creator?. I’m sure this has been said or discussed before, I just wanted to type my thoughts.

Edit: their relationship kinda reminds me of the song fragile by laufey

[lakeshorez]

An anecdote of Asexuality, Autism, and other Oddities.

i originally posted this absolute essay of a comment underneath Carseatheadrest’s song “It’s Only Sex for, obvious reasons, however - I figured possibly it would be helpful to post it here to reach more folks who may resonate. (The song is fire btw, y’all should check CSH out!!) Apologies for any grammar mishaps - I wrote this after waking up from a five-hour long nap prior to taking my meds (whoops), and my autism can make it difficult when writing long-form pieces like this.

This is merely a slightly unhinged vent-post that seemed to get out of hand as I continued to write it; mainly focusing upon my own struggles with intimacy and how society views it as a whole - my relationship with being asexual, and how my autism leads me to perceive the act of sex in a slightly altered light compared to most.

General content warnings for: surface-level mentions of sexual content (nothing too explicit, I promise.), and brief mentions of past trauma.

That being said - I introduce you all to a glimpse inside my thoughts - and hopefully - despite having few followers, lol - some of you can relate, understand, or hell, possibly even learn something new about yourselves!

————————————

I’m 17 and although I’ve never been intimate nor do I have a partner - I’ve always felt immensely disconnected from most people’s allure towards intimacy since I find it weirdly “feral” in a way? Like, perceiving how aggressive people act within sexual scenarios with one another seems to put me off. As if they’re ’drunk off lust’ or something, being fully controlled by desire I guess? But to be fair, the only blatant exposure I’ve had to intimacy is through written text, along with hearing others’ testimonies on the manner. But, whenever I hear people going on about how they find it arousing when someone uses dirty talk I just feel weirdly— put off? I don’t know. Plus, I might be the only one who feels this way, but I absolutely despise the feeling of being in the act - more so the physical aspects of it. Sure, the closest I’ve had to actually being intimate is with by my own hand - but my point is, the sensations that are being absolutely overblown throughout the rest of your body; heavy breathing, sweating, a dazed mind, trembling limbs, etc - feel too overwhelming to me. I think I could be a result of me being autistic, and likely having heightened sensory impulses makes it feel so strange. But another thing I’ve noticed for me, is that the sensations feel eerily similar to when I’m upon the brink of a panic attack strangely enough. Not to mention how utterly tainted with filth I feel after the fact. Sure, I’ve tried to read articles upon articles on why sex and self pleasure is a natural occurrence - the health benefits and all - how it’s abnormal to feel ashamed or disconnected from the act, how I purely need to suck it up because if I dare express any destain from engaging in it, I’m considered a fault in the system. And yet, the internalized feelings of disconnect from my own body still linger, regardless how often I try to convince myself it’s normal.

It’s gotten to the point where I’ve sorta realized - perhaps it’s just not for me. Perhaps, I feel better when I’m not forcing myself to be someone I’m not? Or perhaps, what if all this time I’m merely lying to myself - what if my apathy and disgust regarding it was a result of unresolved childhood trauma? Perhaps made even more so of how I’ve never even held hands romantically with another human being. What if I’m wrong? Wrong about not understanding what all the hype is about — an unmoved fault in a sea of flirty playboy bunnies. I’m still trying to properly unpack a lot of what may have caused me to feel so strange about it, likely a large mess of factors; past trauma, growing under the watchful eye of a Christian mother, the fact I’m a pan trans guy- but I think one large part of it may be due to my autism. I’ve noticed, with a lot of basic tasks life throws at me, I always had a tendency to overanalyze and dissect a lot of things, sex included. I tend to view it in a very literal and logical light - sure, I can fully understand why people enjoy it, how they enjoy the emotional bond it creates, how they feel sparks from the bounds of pleasure that surge throughout their bodies - but other than that, I never can comprehend why people seem to place it on such a high pedestal? I could never quite comprehend why people put intimacy on the same level as eating, breathing, or even sleeping. I could never comprehend why people seemed to make such fusses over it. How my own mom couldn’t comprehend I don’t care much for the act, how people can’t physically accept the fact someone could live without it, as if the sensation itself is the elixir of life.

I feel whenever there’s conversations regarding the topic, autistic people such as myself tend to be left out of the conversations a whole lot. I suppose it’s unfortunately due to a whole slew of factors, such as infantilization; people viewing us as innocent children who’d never engage in something as adultery and taboo as sex because in their minds, we’re practically nothing more than overgrown children. However, I recall reading about how studies have shown that people assigned female at birth on average tend to have more nerve endings displayed around their reproductive organs - therefore, often feeling sexual sensations to a more heightened degree compared to our amab counterparts. However, I think it could also be linked to the discussion of being autistic and our feelings regarding intimacy. Since we tend to already have an intense heightened display of sensory inputs - primarily touch - I suppose it makes sense why I, and a lot of other afab autistic individuals feel like we’re on the brink of having a sensory overload when feeling any sexual stimulation. What would be considered as pleasurable to someone who isn’t autistic, could be interpreted as something almost painful to someone who is.

Whenever I try to learn on how to be more comfortable with the idea of intimacy, often the advice is so blatantly intended for non-autistic folk, along with taking on a very cisgendered-heteronormative view upon the matter as well. I’ve always felt extremely alienated when it came to talks about it and whatnot - mainly due to my autism, the fact I’m a trans pansexual dude, and past trauma relating to intimacy. Yet …in an odd way, whenever I browse through comment sections of videos on talks about intimacy and how to be an intimate partner, it’s like I’m seeing a glimpse in an alternate reality - a reality where everyone just seems to “get it”. A reality where not a single person ever had to cope with a horde of internalized mental struggles regarding such a topic, they openly state how much they enjoy being intimate with their partners, going into immense detail upon what makes them “tick” with tens of comments beneath them sharing that same anecdote. Cracking jokes and sharing their stories like it’s a normal Tuesday. And yet, part of me can’t help but feel like I’m an anomaly in an odd sense. Why regardless of how many sex-positive articles and videos I burn into my mind, I’ll constantly feel like I’m a flaw upon the system. How there’s always an eerily familiar contortion lodged deep within a pit in my stomach whenever the mere thought is brought up. How the nauseating pit only continues to expand itself - feeding off my utter discomfort, my inability to “get it”, like a spreading sickness that lacks no means of ending. But the pit never leaves, it just sits there within me. It only expands and contracts itself, constantly shifting its size and intensity to remind me of my abnormality. I can feel it deep within my body - I can feel its cruel weight make itself known whenever the topic of intimacy is brought up, whenever I feel that desire burn throughout my skin.

I suppose it’s why I felt like there was something wrong with me when I despised the sensations intimacy brought. Whenever I’d bring it up, I was told I was just a goddamn immature 17 year old who needed to ‘grow up’ and wait until I found a partner, then I’d finally “get it”. Then I’d finally understand what all the hype was about, then I’d finally feel whole. After all, being a virgin your whole life is something to be ashamed of, isn’t it? And yet, the closest thing I’ve had to experiencing any sexual stimulation is by my own hand - but even while I’m in the act, I can’t help but feel the overwhelming sensation of my heavy breathing, my heart throbbing at an unsteady rhythm, my limbs trembling, the almost burning sensation that only increases between my thighs until it boils over. And after? I feel disoriented. Like my mind is attempting to sew itself back together through trembling limbs and shaken breaths. And I want to cry. To sob, to clutch my shaken limbs around myself in a desperate means of granting myself comfort - I feel like I’m about to explode, with no other means to feel whole once again.

And despite it all, I often find myself wondering; “Why did nobody warn me about this?” Why didn’t they warn me of the intense barrage of sensations being thrown at my body in the most uneven hellish masses imaginable? Why didn’t they mention how my body would feel like it’s dying? After all, isn’t it guilty pleasure? A pleasure unmatched by anything granted by nature itself? A pleasure delectable as the sweetest honey, the closest thing to heaven humanity has acquired without the act of death. Shouldn’t it feel immaculate? Shouldn’t I feel satisfied? And yet, I lie between my disheveled bed sheets, clutching onto a pillow as heavy tears stain its fabric. And I can’t help but internally beat myself up over my emotions - why I feel so dejected and mentally shaken over a sensation that’s considered one of nature’s greatest gifts. How no matter how many times I mentally prepare myself to ‘fix’ my ongoing barrage of mental turmoil through watching videos of a person who clearly hasn’t felt the anguish I’m in explain in detail how to ‘enjoy’ the act. Assuming it comes naturally to anyone who watches, assuming that not a single person on the opposite side of the screen has ever felt such alienation from the rest of the human race over something that everyone just seems to magically have imbedded within their minds from birth. Assuming nobody is as utterly flawed as I am.

I suppose my detachment in regards to intimacy - even if it’s limited to merely touching myself once in a goddamn blue moon - has convinced me that I, in all my traumatized asexual autistic glory, would make one hell of a horrible partner. Who wants a partner who flinches at the slightest of touch, a partner who feels like they’re on the brink of a panic attack when the sensations get too intense for them to bear, who can’t stop hyperventilating and sobbing through thick and heavy tears as they try to soothe me like a distraught child, how dare I try and have my partner be some therapist for my issues…After all, that’s what a horrible partner does…right? A horrible partner doesn’t care for their spouse’s sexual needs - haven’t I heard of all those couples who break up because they couldn’t be satisfied in bed? How dare I try and insinuate that my future partner should settle for less, that they should live in an unfulfilling relationship unable to act upon a natural desire because I’m too utterly messed up to have it drilled into my thick skull that it’s normal. How dare I be so selfish.

It’s all I hear when I tell people I’m asexual, when I try and explain my autism physically does not allow me to think nor feel any different, how my entire being practically makes me feel differently around the entire discussion regarding intimacy. And yet, they express their worries and condolences. Not directed towards me, but to whatever future partner may interweave their fingers with mine someday. They mourn more intensely for that nonexistent entity over the person who’s standing in front of them in the flesh. They mourn for the fact that my future partner will have to somehow settle for less in their words, they try and convince me that merely granting my affection and love through hand-written notes and carefully crafted gifts and trinkets will never compare to the sheer raw intimacy sex can bring. How dare I insinuate that someone could be happy and fulfilled without such a need for something so natural, how dare I express one can feel fulfilled through other means that do not entail intimacy. How dare my sheer existence challenge their narrow mindset. How dare someone who chooses to become my spouse be understanding and grant me their compassionate empathy for simply being, how dare they feel fulfilled and satisfied by being granted affectionate notes and gifts over being touched by their beloved, how dare they “settle for less” and be content with simply experiencing the light of their partner through a clothed body. How dare they challenge the status quo for merely existing. It’s as if, people physically cannot fathom that someone can feel equally happy and fulfilled without the need for it. However, I suppose I don’t blame them - it’s everywhere you look. The expectancy to engage in it is practically being advertised and gossiped about in every corner of the world around them. As if feeling any distain or discomfort with the idea is an immediate challenge against something bigger. Like an act of rebellion, almost. But, am I being rebellious? How is me being some traumatized asexual autistic person on par with being some rebellious teenager? I’m not trying to challenge anything nor anyone, but it seems as if my sheer existence is already capable of doing that.

But hey, I guess you could say - it’s only sex :3 (I’m so sorry)

[iteh3xael]

Witchcraft Ask Game

What drew you to witchcraft?

Old bestie in HS was into it (we bonded over Charmed) and then had a REALLY weird series of run ins once I graduated college and did some psychedelics. Remembered I used to lucid dream and was fascinated by the Christian Book of Revelation as a CHILD and that kind of all merging into the queer pagan I find myself today.

2. Do you follow a specific witchcraft tradition, or are you eclectic?

I have a whole theory on DND and how witchcraft plays into that and how we basically are imbued with the power of our namesake and then the rest of kind of based on whatever you're exposed to and I'm not saying crystals will straight up give you super powers but like, runes have meaning and maybe don't fuck the stalachtite

3. Do you believe in the Threefold Law or karma in witchcraft?

There's something to be said about consequences to actions and the 2nd Law of Newton (equal and opposite) and 1st Law of Thermo (energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transferred) that definitely applies. FMA also taught me about fucking with life and death magic and you gotta be REALLY careful with what you ask for because the universe is VERY finicky.

4/5. What advice would you give to someone who feels called to witchcraft but is unsure where to begin?

Gonna self plug a post here about things I wish I knew when I started (everyone actually practices to a degree, it's just become really archaic to exist in a present fashion while also embracing the wonderment of things like dreams.

6. Have you ever had a dream or vision that felt prophetic?

Used to! Don't as much but I think it's a skill. Some people naturally have premonitions through dreams and mine are more like vivid intrusive thoughts that play through my head and I have to figure out which is actually useful.

7. What do you think of Aleister Crowley?

Ngl had to Google who that was because I don't really follow many contemporary people and knew he was a "magician" of sorts but I don't take any stock in orgs like the Free Masons or even Satanism even if I think there's probably ~something~ there. He was clearly smart enough to make it work but idk how much is just really smart social engineering (he was a spy, afterall) and a smattering of esoteric networking that led to him being fairly successful at whatever his craft was

8. Do you think witches can create their own deities?

So... I think witches occupy a kind of weird realm/dimension (on my scale it's on like, the 6th degree akin to the "inverted" dimension where we would think of them being akin to IRL angels) and so our calling is rooted in whatever incarnation pulls from original sources. Our names have power and "create" the source of inspiration (deities, gods, spirits, w/e) hence why we "choose" them when "coming out" as a way of embracing our sense of servitude to a higher being outside of our general sense of self.

9. How do you feel about people worshiping deities from pop culture?

Sure, why not lol.

10. What’s your opinion on the idea that "all magic comes with a cost"?

Ohhh yes yes yes. Hence why I affirm that people need to be serious about their approach to science as magic is just when science and art come together perfectly (think of siren's and their songs, beauty inspiring wars, love SAVING people).

11. What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you during a spell?

For years, I had never done a spell with another person before and kind of just fucked around and using objects that I figured would have SOME use, I just didn't know what for.

For instance: there was this ridiculous rubber ducky I got from some rando woman at a hotel from a work thing I was at in bumfuck Pennsylvania where she basically FORCED it upon me after I literally said no and tried to give it back but they were SO insistent despite being a complete stranger. I HATE having useless shit and usually just throw it away immediately but I didn't want to be rude so I threw it into my bag and kind of forgot about it.

Anyway, fast forward to me visiting my old bestie (mentioned prior) talking about The Craft while I'm unpacking my bag and how I never could seem to figure out spells while at the SAME time, being like "Oh hey! Do you want this rubber ducky?"

They flipped their shit because, there is a VERY particular spell about rubber duckies and not just finding one, a portion of the spell reads:

"...presented by hand, in a way that's select

a peculiar find, to earn the craft's respect"

and since then we did a spell about keys that still kind of haunts me to this day so uh... be careful y'all lol

12. If you could cast one spell right now, what would it be and why?

A relationship healing spell. Any help would be greatly appreciated. <8

13. What’s your belief on the afterlife, and how does it affect your spiritual practices?

I definitely think there's another realm out there and I try to just be present with what comes my way since this reality is already full of surprises. I really don't do any major spirit work because I kind of have a deep seated respect where the sense of awe is a bit terrifying so I just kinda see where it takes me and ask mindful questions.

14. What’s your opinion on the importance of connecting with the land in witchcraft?

Plz touch more grass lol If the elements of the Earth (AT LEAST FOUR of them aren't present when approaching a situation, you might need to recenter.

15. How do you feel about using magic to influence others?

Whether we like it or not, magic will ALWAYS be used to influence (literally just think of money or words as a concept). We have a duty to be responsible wielders for we are practitioners in a Dark Art that has a reputation for being misconstrued as evil. Embrace all the shades and don't be shy from the glimmers from the light :3

16. What’s your opinion on hexing or cursing?

I would advise against it though my namesake literally deals with them so uh, just be wise.

17. Do you believe in spiritual psychosis?

I want to say yet but honestly unsure of the full scope of the question so... TBD?

[confuseddimensiontraveler]

As soon as I heard Crowleys playlist had Take Me To Church on it i lost my shit, and now that the new season is out (and I’ve had the song on loop for an hour) I finally wrote my analysis of him and this song! also all of this is just my interpretation, please don’t hurt me I’m young and feeble.

Major Good Omens 2 spoilers ahead!! You’ve been warned

Take Me To Church + Crowley Analysis (does not include all the lyrics soz)

My lover's got humor

She's the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody's disapproval

I should've worshiped her sooner

Aziraphale is not very good at social cues or understanding human matters, and knows what happens when he disobeys heaven and how they feel about him, but he still does what he thinks is best; both of which are things Crowley likes about him. Crowley didn’t even fully realize he loved Aziraphale until Nina and Maggie (my hero’s) had to shove it in his face.

If the Heavens ever did speak

She's the last true mouthpiece

Aziraphale is one of the last few angels who does things that can really be considered good/godly, like helping humans and just being generally nice.

Every Sunday's getting more bleak

A fresh poison each week

Each time Crowley is forced to interact with heaven it just gets worse and worse, like being kicked out and then heaven trying to end the world, until they take Aziraphale away from him.

"We were born sick", you heard them say it

My church offers no absolutes

Everyone keeps telling them it’s unnatural for an Angel and a demon to be friends + the church not offering absolutes as in all the angels talking about the great plan though no one really knows what it is.

The only Heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

Crowleys never going to make it back to heaven, and the closest he’s going to get is his relationship with aziraphale. Plus the only times he’s actually seen happy are with Aziraphale.

I was born sick, but I love it

Command me to be well

A-, Amen, Amen, Amen

He doesn’t want to go back to heaven either, he likes being a demon, he just wants them to be able to be them. He wants to want to do whatever Aziraphale wants, but he doesn’t, he has his own interests too.

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

Crowley follows Aziraphale basically everywhere, including literally a church despite what it does to him, and in his mind they shared a similar devotion because they’re “partners”. Like when Aziraphale trusted him to shoot him for a magic trick. So when Aziraphale leaves, it makes him feel like the whole thing was a lie. He even waits for him to come back, but he doesn’t, and it leaves him feeling abandoned.

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

After the kiss, Aziraphale only says “I forgive you.” like it was a bad thing. Then he left, and Crowley can’t die, but that almost makes being alone worse. He spends so long just being there to protect him, and then he’s gone, and he no longer has someone to spend eternity with.

If I'm a pagan of the good times

My lover's the sunlight

The definition of pagan is “a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main or recognized religions,” so in Crowleys case, he’s a pagan of the good times because supposedly god wants to destroy the earth, which means by choosing to try to stop it, he’s going against Christianity. Aziraphale is just the sunlight to his darkness (I love them so bad).

To keep the Goddess on my side

She demands a sacrifice

Crowley makes many sacrifices over the course of the 1st season to prevent the end of the season, and eventually he’s forced to give up Aziraphale to heaven after they remove Gabriel because he vetoes Armageddon.

Drain the whole sea

Get something shiny

The first time they really talk is when God floods earth, and it’s also when some of the initial seeds of rebellion are implanted in Crowley specifically. Aziraphale has already given away the sword, but it’s the first example Crowley cares for people (very not-demon-like), which is what leads to their friendship/seeing each other as kindred spirits.

Something meaty for the main course

That's a fine looking high horse

What you got in the stable?

This could either be about heaven in its entirety or Aziraphale, with both acting like Crowleys below him when really they’re much more similar than that, and that all the angels isn’t perfect either.

We've a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty

That looks plenty

This is hungry work

The demons are plenty in numbers, and greed is literally one of the seven deadly sins. Even being less “demon” than most of them, Crowley isn’t perfect. He wants a lot. Plus some of the things he does take a certain… demon-ness other people don’t have, but they get results.

No masters or kings when the ritual begins

There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

When it’s just them working together, there’s always the looming presence of heaven and hell, but that’s not what they’re representing, respectively. Each side commits atrocities in the name of war, but with their “gentle sin” being rebelling against their organizations, it separates them from that. They’re just an “us”, to Crowley.

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene

Only then I am human

Only then I am clean

Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen

On earth they’re usually brought together by chaos and tragedy—the first season's whole hook is armageddon. In the madness of it they both lose their sides, quite literally being seen as going native, and in Crowley's mind, that scrubs him of his demonic responsibility. In the show, demons are shown to be especially dirty, with their mud and maggots and frogs and flies and stuff.

Take me to church

I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

Offer me that deathless death

Good God, let me give you my life

In the end, the whole thing can be interpreted as an allegory for being gay and the effects of religious trauma has on that, just like the song :D thanks for indulging me, and sorry if this didn’t make any sense, the wound is still fresh 😭

[hozier-is-my-wife]

Take Me To Church

A yap session, straight from my silly little brain <3

cw: mentions of sexuality and religion, but nothing too bad really lol

word count: 1.1k

Here's the song to get you in the mood to read this yap paragraph. Warning, it is extremely long but I think it's pretty well thought out. If you have anything to add after reading it, let me know!

Also, I'm just making this/posting this as a little something to keep you entertained while I try to get the first chapter of that hozier x reader fic out. And just as a small disclaimer, some of the things may be slightly incorrect, but I tried to fact check everything. If I'm wrong about something, let me know and i will correct it <3

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Okay, so HOW did take me to church get popular in 2014 of all times? Another question is why did christians latched onto this song so HARD, despite it definitely not being a christian song? It topped charts and is even certified multi-times platinum. That is EXTREMELY impressive. But anyways, I've been thinking about this a LOT and it actually is kind of shocking. How the lyrics are written, the meaning of the song, and just the overall sound of the song are so different from all of the other chart-topping songs of that time. So how did this happen??

So to make this easier on myself and any possible readers, I'm separating this little yap paragraph into different sections. I'm also going to abbreviate Take Me to Church as TMTC to make it easier to type.

Here are the sections I am separating this into (I'll make sure to put headings so you can skip to certain places if you'd like):

Overview (just basic info)

It's popularity

The music video

The meaning of the song

The lyrics (which i will separate from the meaning)

His competition at the time/the state of music at the time in general

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Overview on TMTC

TMTC was released on September 13, 2013 and it was Hozier's debut single. It's also the opening track on his debut album, Hozier. It was first released in an EP with Like Real People Do, Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene, and Cherry Wine. The music video was then released on September 25, 2013. Still, the song didn't become widely popular until summer/fall of 2014.

TMTC's popularity

I'm putting all of its achievements (I guess achievements is a decent word for it) into bullet points to make it easier

Topped at #2 on US billboards charts, making Hozier one of the only irish singer/songwriters to top US charts

Topped at #1 in several countries (including Austria, Belgium, Canada, Colombia, Czech Republic 2x, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Italy, Lebanon, Luxembourg, Poland, Slovakia, Sweden, Switzerland, and on some US charts)

Still appears on some charts now, nearly 10 years after its released

One of the most listened to songs of 2014 on Spotify charts

Certified multi-platinum in multiple countries

Was nominated for a "song of the year" grammy in 2015

Music Video

So the music video was actually pretty controversial for its time. It features a gay couple, which still wasn't widely accepted in 2013. Technically, gay marriage wasn't even legal in several countries at this time. So even though this is a small point, this really adds to the "how did this get popular?" question and even more to the "why did christians latch onto this song so much?" question.

The Meaning of TMTC

TMTC has several meanings. The main two meanings are sex/sexuality and violence from the church and several countries, especially against LGBTQ+ people. Hozier himself said, "It’s about sex and it’s about humanity, and obviously sex and humanity are incredibly tied. Sexuality, and sexual orientation, regardless of orientation, is just natural. The song is about asserting yourself and reclaiming your humanity through an act of love." It's also talking about how certain institutions, such as the church, force you to be ashamed of things such as sexuality.

The music video further pushes its meaning by featuring a gay couple who gets attacked after being caught together. Hozier openly talks about politics in his music, so having such a political song is completely expected from him. It was meant to make a change and it was meant to bring awareness to the hatred from several groups of people.

Now, the political aspect isn't the only meaning behind this song. It's also about love and devotion, comparing their lover to religion. In true Hozier fashion, it's about worshipping your lover in a similar way to how you would worship a religion.

I could go into more detail about each lyrics (like quite literally break down every line) but that would take absolutely forever, so this is like an overall summary. And that leads us to our next section:

The Lyrics

The lyrics to TMTC are insanely meaningful and written in a way that's comparable to poetry. The way that Hozier writes is always in a poetic way, so TMTC's lyric style is no surprise, but what IS a surprise is how people took the lyrics. Compared to popular songs of that time, not only was the overall meaning different, just the writing style was different.

Think of "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift or "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor. When you take those lyrics and compare them to lyrics such as "If I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight/To keep the goddess on my side, she demands a sacrifice" or "No masters or kings when the ritual begins/There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin/In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene/Only then, I am human, only then, I am clean."

Those lyrics are quite different, right? Like I mentioned, not only are the meanings different, but the overall style was so different as well.

His Competition and the State of Music in General

Imagine this...

It's 2014. You're riding around in the car and you turn on the radio. Dark Horse (Katy Perry), Happy (Pharrell Williams) , Timber (Pitbull Ft. Kesha), and Boom Clap (Charli XCX) are just a few of the songs playing on repeat. But then, Take Me to Church comes on. What a mood change, right?

That's because it was a huge change from most of the other music on the radio and on main charts. The music wasn't political and it was much more upbeat and "poppy." TMTC even sounds different, with its dark sounding piano and occasional deep sounding guitar. Even his vocals had a different sound.

Outro

So now that we've gotten through all of my points (unless I randomly decide to add more, which usually quite possible), why did TMTC get popular? With its controversial music video, political message, and different sound, how did this happen? I mean, even Hozier himself said he never expected TMTC of all songs to get popular.

Truthfully, a huge part of it going viral and becoming so popular is because of the music video. Once it blew it up, the song blew up, but I suspect there's a deeper meaning to its popularity. What's that you may ask?

Well, I suspect that people needed that change. People craved music that had that deep meaning and they craved change. At this point, politics weren't a huge part of mainstream music, even though art is inherently political. Music at this time had developed into a more fun, "everything is great!" vibe. Although this music is great, it needs to be balanced out. I mean, if everything was political, people would crave fun. It's just a matter of people needing that balance and TMTC is what gave that to them at that point. It was meaningful and had a different sound, which was what ultimately led to its popularity.

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thank you so much for sticking around and reading this entire thing, it means a lot to me. i love being able to have somewhere that i can yap about my interests (mainly hozier) and actually have people care. this may be a little messy, considering i wrote it at like 3 AM, so just ignore any typos or grammar mistakes. but anyways, that's all! thank you again for reading <3

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୨୧┇tags:

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Helluva boss review part 3

Episode 8

*squints eyes* why does vortex look different here???

Loona calls another hellhound (dog??) a bitch. And the other hellhounds get offended, I guess that word would be an offensive term for dog demons…But I thought Loona never been to a party before? How did that poodle dog knew her, and had a picture of her puking??

Wait. Wait I know that voice….IS THAT FREAKING KESHA LIKE THE KESHA OH MY GOD.

Oh this song is kind of bad. Like lyrical…I mean it’s a basic pop song???

ALOS WHAT THE HECK IS SHE??? IS SHE A BEE?? A WOLF, A FOX???? WHY IS SHE A HYBRID???

I do like that her hair, stomach, and arms glow. That’s cool. Also apparently she’s Beelzebub????? Ok so Beelzebub was originally a Hebrew god. In the Christian stories, he represents as either envy OR gluttony. But one person thought he might be the demon of pride, another thought he was a demon of idolatry aka false god. He seen as a fly demon because some scholars call him a piece of shit and that said his flowers are flies attract to waste.

So…Beelzebub is a confusing character. Here in Viv’s world, Bee is a weird fox bee hybrid that is a party girl. Who also feed off her party-goers energy? Or something like that, it’s a bit confusing…She also makes food and drinks bigger, and she shows concern when Blitzo gets wasted, says she can taste his “off vibes”. She also makes Loona feel self doubt and she makes Loona jealous or envy of Bee.

Loona taking care of Blitzo who’s drunk and stars taking about he’s going to die alone….MOOD. I’ve been there loonie..

Scale out of 5. I give this a 1. Bee is an ok character. I don’t care about her.

Season 2 episode 1

Ok. Weird. This episode was made in 2020, while episode 8 was made in 2023. Did something happen? Why did they make episode 8 be part of season 1 when they could have made it be part of season 2? Is it because that story fit alongside episode 7??

Ok. So baby Stolas was given his grimoire to learn and study the space and sky and how to tell prophecies, and to have access to the human realm. And to one day pass down his knowledge. He was also was in an forces engagement.

So Blitzo and frizz grow up in the circus together. I guess frizz is like his brother or cousin?? Also Blitzo dad sold him to Stolas’s father! But blitzo’s dad wanted Blitzo to steal from them to help the family. I don’t know if Blitzo would be there only for a day or forever??

Baby Stolas infodumping about frogs and toads is cute.

STOLAS WIFE IS NAME STELLA ITS BEEN 9 EPISODES AND IM JUST FINDING THIS NOW?????

So Stella was a mean/cruel wife. Also Stolas had a big crush on Blitzo. In the pilot Blitzo slept with Stolas to get the book. Here they show just what happens. Only problem is that Stolas was drunk and not in the correct mindset to actually content to the sex…😬

Stella only stays around Stolas is to remind him of what he did???? What????? Have a one night stand that wasn’t even consensual? Also Stolas wanted a normal happy family, but Stella was an abusive wife. And Octavia is 17. Wow, really firing off the details here..Also I guess it’s frown upon higher royal demon family to be in relationship with Imps or just lower class?? As far the only races I seen are Imps and succubus, Hellhounds, whatever Striker is, and Stolas’s family. I guess bird people? Also whatever Ozzie is…Man the Helluva Boss’s races are very few..

Scale out of 5. I give it a 2. The show gave lots of background for Stolas….i just don’t care about him though.

Episode 2.

This episode Octavia wants to see the meteor showers with her dad

“What no I’m not Turing her against you” MOOOODDDDD. I guess every divorce child hears that phrase once by their parents. But ahh, sucks that her dad has to explain that to Stella. But I’m glad Stella is moving out of the house with her things. I wonder if she and Stolas with share custody of Octavia or not? Since via is 17?

It’s still weird to see Blitzo and Lonna have a family dynamic? Well, I just in the case having Loona be very angry at her dad because Blitzo told her that her attitude at work needs to change. Last time we saw them was in episode 8, but if this episode came out BEFORE episode 8…then it would be understandable that Loona and Blitzo relationship would still be rocky. If this episode takes place AFTER episode 8, then the whole Blitzo and Loona bound a bit after the party is odd..

How does Octavia know that Blitzo has the book? Did he overhear her dad mentioned it?

Oh cool, Stolas actually caring for his daughter!! Or well, noticing her. Progress!!

HOW DID THEY GET TO LA WITHOUT THE BOOK?????

Oh neato!! A sailor moon parody :3. Usually when Loona transforms its in a burst of fire.

Ok, so Stolas the demon is from a book called, Ars Goetia, also called The little (or lesser) Key of Solomon. It’s a book about scorcry that’s base off the testament of Solomon, who was an ancient Israel. Thought the book isn’t seen as canon in Jewish and Christian bibles. Fun fact!! Asmodeus is also in this book! He’s refused as the king of Shedim (demons). Shedim aren’t evil demigods, but god of foreigners. In the Christian book he’s the god demon of lust. He also seen as the god of gambling, and revenge.

Stolas why don’t you memorize your spells??? Or like, make a copy of your book????

Moxxie and Millie sing a cute duet. And Moxxie getting into human art is so cute!

I dont care about Blitzo or Stolas plot line I don’t care!!!!!!!

Loona tracking Octavia down by fallowing Octavia’s selfies/post is a cool idea. I think most or some people would do that in real life.

So Loona was adopted a month before she aged out of the orphanage. I guess Blitzo adopted her because he felt sorry for her? Or maybe it had something to do with her past.

“Why does he hate her more than he loves me?” Ow. Oh no Octavia your dad does love you. But I’m glad Stolas apologized to Octavia. Sometimes kids just want attention and to hang out with their parents, especially when there very big changes going on. I guess Stolas is closer to Octavia than Stella is? I don’t know if Stella is abusive to her or not. Sometimes a parent abusive their spouse but not the child, or sometimes it’s both. I hope I’ll be able to find out what the case is, then it would be easier for me to piece the puzzle that is the bird family. (I don’t remember their last name and I’m kind of lazy)

Scale out of 5. I give this a 1. Octavia and Loona bonding is cute, Moxxie and Millie is cute. I just hate that Blitzo and Stolas little adventure took to much focus on the plot. Like I literally just skip over them because I was bored..

Episode 3.

Please…..I can’t take this stupid fatphobia running gag. Literally none of these characters are fat.

Is Blitzo trying to breed horses??

Also, they don’t kill anyone in hell anymore? Or kill human in earth anymore? Wich one is it? Because it’s a very big plot hole depending on the answer.

Hold on hold on. In episode 1, Moxxie says the only family he would take out is a mob family. I thought that was a joke, but apparently Moxxie ISN’T from the Wrath ring but from the Greed ring??? I guess that explains why Moxxie dress the way he does, has an accent, and knows so much about weapons. Oh cute Moxxie and Millie have a rich boy x country girl relationship. I was gonna say the relationship is like My Fiar Lady but that like the only movie I think has that dynamic besides Lady and the Tramp.

Moxxie and Millie have the same ex….wow BI4BI Moxxie and Millie is true.

Why is there so many sharks…Wait fuck I’m a dummy. Sharks. Loan sharks….

This makes me wonder, how many mafia family are there in hell? There bounds to be like, a hundred or more. Do family in hell stay alive, just passing along the family business? So family get whipped out? If hell has an overpopulation issue like in Hazbin, is it because there too many crime family? Like how many sex trafficking business (for example) are in hell? How many sex workers are there? There should be like, a hard limit to this type of stuff.

“It’s been 84 years”. Hehe titanic reference.

Does human media end up in hell? There phones, tv, and internet in hell. Would hell and the human realm share the same internet?? Moxxie seems interested in human arts. But how does he know about the phantom of the opera musical then? Do humans just recreate the arts and media in hell?? To demons like steal it??? SHOW PLEASE TELL ME.

WHY IS THERE JAIL IN HELL?????? THERE A COURT SYSTEM??? WOULDN’T THE HUMANS WHO COME TO HELL BE AGAINST THAT????

Oh my goddddddd Moxxie prison number is 1984, witch if you did t know if the same title as a famous movie and book about a dystopian drama.

Ok timeline. Blitzo grew up in the circus with Fizz. Stolas came one day, and Stolas’s dad bought Blitzo. (Unclear if it’s for a day or forever). Something happens and Blitzo is no longer in the circus, adopt Loona, is in jail. He meets Moxxie. Once they’re out I think the too started the IMP business.

So, Crimson wants Chetz to help with the family business, and wants moxie to officially give up his role. How long has it been since Moxxie ran away?

Oh snap crimson is a physical abusive dad. Geez there some many bad dads in this show. Thankful Millie dad seems cool, while her mom just seems to be overwhelming..

Oh, so the family is losing money, and the only way for shark guy to be part of the family is for them to be married in.

“..gave a shit about you’re stupid beard.”

Ew, the gross sex toy scene….that was a weird.

OH MOXXIE IS BISEXUAL I JUST SAID THAT AS A HEADCANON GLAD THATS ACTUALLY CANON WHOOOO BI4BI MILLIE AND MOXXIE.

Ooooo 👀 Moxxie lore. So growing up, his mom try to protect Moxxie from his dad. While the dad wanted Moxxie to start training for the business at a young age. The dad was also physically abusive to the mom. HUH HOW WEIRD IT SEEMS I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT HOW PARENTS CAN SOMETIMES BE BOTH ABUSIVE TO THEIR SPOUSES AND CHILDREN……HMMMM STELLA.

Nooooooo Moxxie’s mom is dead. And baby Moxxie has to train to be an assassin. Hmm what’s the difference between being in the mafia and being a freelance assassin? I guess one has more connections and money? But I feel like Moxxie would try to get away from the whole killing entirely? But if he train from a young age on how to kill, then it must be very hard for him to stop.

I feel like, instead of Moxxie being force to marry the shark dude to he,p the family business. Crimson would have tried to push Moxxie and Millie to have a child, to help continue the business? Also why can’t crimson just marry shark dude instead? Would it not be effective??

Blitzo trying to help his friends and finds out the truth of Chetz!!! Whooo. Moxxie also standing up to his dad!!! Whooo

Chez is dead.

Scale out of 5, I give this a 4.

[jasminedragonart]

Back on my disney rants. This one is about how I did not enjoy Frozen. Before I start, this is my OPINION. I am allowed to not like something. if you watched this movie and enjoyed it, that's fine, we obviously both got something different out of it and that's okay. That's allowed.

Anyway I didn't like Frozen and I thought Hans should not have been villainised for what he did.

The music, I will give them, was good. The plot? Dull. Boring. Pointless. It had a good premise but the payoff was awful, especially when i went into this thinking it was going to be a different film.

I'll explain. So, a couple of years back in my youth hallmark or some other classic channel made this film called the Snow Queen based off of Hans Christian Anderson's story (I think). This film has many problems but boy has it stuck with me because it's also just so good with its premise. Basically theres a girl who hates winter because her mother died in winter. She ends up liking it when this boy kai comes along only he ditches her because this lady rolls into town and kidnaps him. The wider story arc is that there's this mirror and there are four sisters who all want this mirror, the sisters are the seasons and winter takes the mirror but it smashes and a piece gets caught in Kai's sye which is why he's taken. The girl ends up travelling through each season in the Hope's of finding kai and the seasons themselves are so good. Spring tries to brainwash her and make her sleep all the time, summer can see dreams and has balls and she tries to marry the girl off, autumn is a bandit queen. It's just, it's both a good and bad movie (kinda racist, but it was made in a time where these stereotypes weren't talked about as much)

Anyway I walked in thinking disney was remaking this and I was so hyped. Except it wasn't, it was what we got with frozen.

To start off with, I thought the opening song was good, it was strong and interesting and it had mystery to it. I thought oh maybe this will be about kristoff since you know he was kidnapped by trolls. But no. In fact that's never brought up. You don't just set that up for nothing. I mean tangled is literally about finding the princess that was kidnapped at the beginning. Why don't we get more about kristoff's family? Aren't they looking for him? I was so frustrated with this dropped plot.

Moving on, I thought, again, the beginning was okay. It was interesting that elsa had these powers from a kid, but then why does she have them? Why do we find that out in the 2nd movie and not the 1st? Again, this was a dropped plot point that could have been something interesting. They could have related this back to the trolls or a curse or something that would tie into a prophecy that would tie the whole narrative together.

But no, she as magic, anna forgot and now she shuts herself away and is now expected to be queen? That makes no sense. She literally doesn't leave her room. How are we expecting Elsa to rule here? She's literally attended no council meetings or sat in on audiences with her people. I don't think Elsa even attended most of her lessons since anna probably would have been there with her. It doth make no sense.

Anna's song was a bop. I liked Hans too. I didn't enjoy that thing disney does these days where it mocks old disney with jokes about marrying them a day after they've met them. I'll have you know Belle was at least with the beast a year. eric and ariel had a whirlwind romance sure but that's not to say there wasn't a gap between ariel getting legs and the two of them marrying. The same with cinderella, snow white, mulan spent months on the road with Shang, aurora and Philip lived in medieval france so there might have been a gap or their parents just forced them together. the point is disney makes jokes about things that aren't even jokes. Like it doesn't hold up. It also doesn't make sense in a real context because Hans is a prince anna is a princess, unless he has nothing to bring to the table which I don't even think Elsa knows about peace treaties and whatever then theres no reason she should say no to agreeing to let them court. Not marry, but they could court. Also it wasn't that unusual to marry someone youd never seen in medieval times if you were royalty. Henry VIII of england married anne of Cleves after seeing her portrait and then, in real life, said she'd catfished him because he'd never seen her until they were married.

Anyway, elsa ran off, I didn't care. I had no reason to care. I cared more about anna and her story than elsa and her ice palace. Also can we appreciate hans here. This man looked after the people, the guests, he stopped fights he made sure everyone was alright and sure he tried to kill elsa but I mean elsa was plunging the kingdom into eternal winter. I don't know about you but this is literally what got the white witch killed in narnia so, you know, maybe hans was just doing what was good for the kingdom. Also anna was a loose cannon. She wanted to bring else back? To cause more damage? I'm surprised the people didn't rebel against these 2 unprepared princesses. What do they know about ruling? At least hans has an idea, he proved he put the people over finding Elsa. So, all I'm saying is maybe we were a bit quick to judge.

Kristoff annoyed me when we met him again. I just knew they were going for that opposites attract thing. Olaf was cute for about 2 minutes. Sven saved the show for me tbh. Love a good reindeer.

Also we meet the trolls again? For someone who was mocking not getting married after they'd just met the trolls were kind of saying the opposite. Also what happened to kristoff's parents? Tell me!

Blah blah blah it bored me blah blah blah I hated that true love was a family thing. Like, yes, it's true that true love can come from family, but in the context that disney has made it out to be I felt like I was being cheated. I felt like they were watering down something that didn't need to be watered down. Two characters can still kiss right? Because disney seems to be steering away from any romance in their films these days. I felt like the fairytale structure was incomplete and honestly I was barely watching it at that point.

I just didn't like frozen, anna should have been queen at the end of the 1st movie not the 2nd and hans deserved better.

If you disagree that's fine but I don't accept Elsa as a good disney queen. Kida will always hold that spot for me followed closely by ariel (is she a queen? I think she is in the second one. I don't remember)

So yeah, frozen was kind of a mess in my opinion.

[alpaca-clouds]

The thing about oral traditions

Alright, all that rambling about the Greek Gods with Stray Gods and the godly origins... (maybe I am doing more in the next few days) It kinda brings me to a topic that I think a lot of people who do not interact with that kinda stuff a lot do not realize: Most of human history and mythology has been recorded not in the written form, but in oral tradition. That is through stories told through a story teller, through song or through (at times ritualistic) plays.

Those stories would at times be just kept within families/communities (this is your gentle reminder that the nuclear family did not arise until the 20th century), or in some cultures kept alive through a special skilled kind of tradesman. Something like bards. And even within those folks there were both the variation of people travelling the lands to collect and relay stories - or people keeping to one place and collecting stories there.

There is the very, very common misconception (that is closely linked to white supremacist believes) that written down stories are of more value, due some wrong perception of written stories being harder to alter/fake - and them being easier to date.

Don't get me wrong, yeah, if something got chiseled into some rock 1500 BC and that rock survived until today, we could absolutely read up on the rock......... if we can read the writing, that is. But... here is the thing: There have been quite a few writing systems that got lost. And also... Chances are that the rock did not survive. But maybe someone copied the text and then it was copied again and then again, because the printing press was not around for thousands of years...

You see the issue, right?

Yes, stories get altered everytime they got retold. But there is a good chance a lot of historical texts might have been altered or even faked.

Making one not necessarily better than the other.

The big issue with oral stories is, a) that orally transmitted stories are often very hard to date, and b) are often altered massively by cultural shifts, going so far that c) they get just lost.

Now, when it comes to the entire dating stories stuff, the best we basically can do is comparative mythology and the like. We can look where stories parallel each other and knowing the links between the cultures, we can then estimate how far back a story can go. But even so... see, there is this issue that with that stuff it usually goes so far into the mythical sphere that it is hard to say whether there has been a true core to things. And that is without going into the fact that we lost writing systems. The Indus Valley civilization wrote stuff down (though probably mostly like administrative stuff), but... Well, we don't know what is written there. Because we cannot read their writing.

A lot of people might have heard about the issue b) in terms of the Norse mythology. Because... yeah, other than some might think... The original mythology was lost, because the oral tradition was broken through missionary work, with the myth than being recorded by Christian folks (with a bias) already after part of the tradition was already lost. Like... We all love Loki, right? Welp, surprise, there is a chance that Loki never was actually a God in Norse Mythology.

And the Norse mythology was quite lucky in fact. Because we have some of the stuff still recorded. But there were a ton of oral cultures that just... vanished. At times because the culture vanished (for example because they died through famine, war or plague) or evolved further with the stuff shifting until it became unrecognizable (like the old Greek cultures fusing and involving into the Hellenistic culture). And at times due to outside forces (like colonizers) knowingly and deliberately forbidding the transmission of the stories.

But of course... You know. Folks tried and succeeded the latter with written stories too, trying and at times succeeding at erasing parts of history and mythology.

It is easier to study written history and mythology. But... We really gotta move away from discrediting oral traditions. Something that is still very much done in mainstream western culture. Because the oral traditions are very, very important and should not be forgotten.