#I know it'll get better
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muichirolover14 · 4 months ago
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I just saw @larz-barz 's post and I'm devastated. I mean I know I haven't been active much and I keep disappearing. So I feel like a bad friend for not seeing. But I accept her decision. I get it if anyone else decides to leave too. For me, I'm not leaving for probably another year or two because I still think I'll get somewhere here.. So..I'll try to be here more if anyone misses me.
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my-thirteenth-reason · 6 months ago
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i honestly feel like ive lost the will to live but it's different this time? like i don't actively want to die but i just can't think of anything to live for. recently i feel so unwanted by my friends (it doesn't help that they're all going on a trip i'm not) and i don't feel motivated enough to study like i did before. and i don't feel like reading or watching anything i'm just going through the motions and not feeling any joy when i did before
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nothanksbi · 2 years ago
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Hey, most recent ex-best friend.
I just met you again after almost 7 months. Well, probably more. I'm gonna be honest, I imagined so many things before you were finally in front of me. That even after we fought, we would go back to accepting and loving each other the way we did before. That maybe we would even fall in love, the way it happens in movies. That all would be forgiven, even if not forgotten. But the moment I saw you, I knew we were over.
Why, you may ask. Because we're no longer the people we pledged our friendship to. Because you'd rather hide your feelings under smoke and drugs and drinks than work through. Because you'd rather act cool and unaffected than show you still care. No, you definitely said you still care, and I guess you showed it too in your own new ways - ways I am not yet familiar with. But no, I don't feel your care anymore.
Maybe you don't want me in your life anymore. Maybe I don't want you in mine. At least not the way it used to be. But I know the person that you are, deep inside. I know you're a gem of a person and you don't really deserve the things that broke you so. You never did. And I know I've lost the right to say this, and I know you won't believe me when I say it, but I love you, I really do. I wish, all the time, that I could go back and listen when you were saying things to me. I wish I could prevent your coccoon from ever being built. I wish I could have been the light at the end of your tunnel...but looking at you that day, talking to you that day, I know for a fact that that's never gonna happen. I wish you all the best...but most of all, I wish you love. For yourself, for others, from yourself, and from others. And I hope that will be enough.
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lovecatsys · 29 days ago
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i feel like our plurality is too confusing for people, navigating it socially in the real world is so. hard and while people are maybe accepting i think theyre just... confused or dont know what to do. or its too hard for them to comprehend.
Not even much has happened yet tbh I just have this fear. Plus my mom thinks that its too stressful for her to follow and doesn't want to meet my headmates :( doesn't want them to meet my brother or stepdad either, thinks it would be too much for both of them for different reasons.
I want to believe that we can have relationships with other people in person where they know all of us, recognize us as ourselves individual from each other and we don't have to worry about them asking a billion questions or not getting that we actually are Different People.
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peonypyxels · 7 months ago
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maggie & rei🌟
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sunlit-mess · 8 months ago
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I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.
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buglaur · 1 year ago
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for a girl whose never built anything from scratch before i'd call this a triumph
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problemnyatic · 1 month ago
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Look, the bottom line is this. You're gonna be wrong and fuck up sometimes, that's just how being human works. No matter what you mean or how much you care, sometimes, you're gonna do something or say something that hurts someone or perpetuates bigotry you don't believe in.
The goal isn't to do no wrong, that's an impossible standard. The mark of "a good person" isn't that they always do good, it's that they're willing to admit when they've failed, done wrong, made a mistake, and they're willing to course-correct when they do.
It's important that you're trying. It's okay to be the bad guy. You don't need to get defensive, you don't need to stake your identity in "person who never does that kind of wrong." You just gotta be able to say "Fuck, my bad, I'm sorry," accept that your behavior didn't reflect your beliefs, and change your behavior so that it better represents who you mean to be.
The less time you spend lingering on whether it feels like people believe you are who you say you are, the more time you can spend getting better at being that person.
Some people will try to tear you down when you make mistakes, they'll try to pigeonhole you as a "bad person," someone whose very existence is defined by doing harm. This isn't your problem, and it's not your responsibility to prove anything to them. They don't have to believe you, and you don't have to appease them. So long as you're willing to accept when you *do* hurt someone, intentional or not, and you're willng to put in the effort to make reparations and change, you'll never "be a bad person."
Let yourself fuck up. All you have to do is course-correct when you notice your actions' impact have strayed from your intentions. The right people will notice that effort, and they'll be proud of you. And perhaps most importantly of all, they'll let you make that effort. Anyone who tells you it's too late to change, to discourage you from improving, or stop you from trying, is not your frend. You don't have to impress them. Ignore them, and let yourself change.
#I didn't manage to say it in the main text so you get it in the PS tag ramble#When you hurt someone by mistake‚ it's okay to feel bad and scared and want to make sure they understand you didn't mean it#But you need to set that aside for the moment. You need to let it be about the other person's hurt.#You can ask other people for support with your feelings‚ they don't make you a “bad person‚” but they're not appropriate to put on the#hurt party. When you accept that you can fix your mistakes and that you're allowed to be upset to‚ it gets less scary to make them#You know there's a protocol for this‚ and so long as you keep it together enough to follow it‚ you can mitigate the harm and fix things.#Don't get defensive. As tumblr says‚ that's the devil talking. Defensive is never the right move when someone says you fucked up/hurt them#You can maintain that it was a mistake‚ but keep that part short and sweet. Let them be hurt‚ let it be you that hurt them. It's hard but#I promise it'll make it better in the long run. People are more likely to forgive you if you let them be angry at you for hurting them.#It's normal to be upset when you hurt someone. It's normal to be upset when someone hurts you. These can and must coexist.#Let them be upset at you‚ apologize sincerely‚ and no more than three to five times. Let it be about them. It can be about you#with others‚ and when they've cooled down and approached you with a willingness to hear your side of things.#Sometimes you'll have to just sit with the feeling of having been wrong or seen as a hurtful person. It sucks‚ but i promise#it sucks so much worse when someone who hurt you is more focused on whether you hate them than if you're okay. Let them be upset#It'll be okay. I love you#mumblr#problemnyatic thoughts
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minty364 · 8 months ago
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DPXDC Prompt #58 Part 4
The living room and kitchen were deserted, neither Danny nor Jazz expected anyone as it was normal for their parents to essentially live in the basement only coming up for meals once or twice a month to ‘eat as a family’, these would consist mostly of fast food as no one trusted anything cooked in their kitchen.
They shared a glance as they opened the basement door and headed down. The dimly lit basement held the giant hole in the wall, the so-called portal, a massive metal spectacle with wires and interconnected circuitry met together to create an unholy abomination of science. Or at least that’s what Jazz called it once when they were in her room venting about the situation. 
“JAZZ!! DANNY!!” their overzealous father yelled as he bounded over.
Their mom walked over too, seeming to be happy for their return, “your father and I could barely contain our excitement all day!! Go on put on your hazmat suits.” their mom gestured over to the lockers that held the suits. Both of their parents' lockers tended to be quite empty since they practically lived in them, to the point where they had several copies of the same suits that they’d wash and reuse. Danny and Jazz only had the ones, Jazz had a nice dark violet color with black gloves and boots. Danny had black gloves and boots too but his was white to make it look like he was an astronaut, something that he had mixed feelings on. Both of these used to have a giant picture of Jack’s head on it but it was quickly removed by both siblings. 
They quickly put the suits on over their uniforms and joined their parents behind some glass near the portal. It wasn’t closed off or anything and Danny didn’t think it would be able to prevent something like an explosion from charing all of them but it’s hard to have faith in parents who've missed so much because of the stupid portal, or at least that’s how Danny felt. 
Jazz and Danny huddled together behind their parents as their mom did some final checks on a clipboard, “alrighty we should be all good, Hun you ready to throw the switch?” their mom asked their dad. “As ready as I’ll ever be!” Jack yelled as he threw down the switch.
A few sparks erupted from the portal but other than that nothing happened. 
Their dad, frustrated at this angrily tried turning it off and on again but nothing but another smaller spark and then truly nothing. 
Another low frustrated growl left their dad as he and mom walked back up the steps, “alright I’m taking a break.” Jack said, almost defeated, sounding, “I’m sorry but I really thought we had it this time.”
“Oh come on, Jack, let’s go out, I’m sure the kids were probably going over to the Wayne’s again anyways. Let’s go out and have a fun night then sleep on it.” their mom said, patting dad on the shoulder. They shared a fond look and then went upstairs probably to get ready. 
Danny and Jazz stood at the bottom of the stairs and shared a look.
“They gave up too fast again…” Jazz noted.
“I guess, what do we do now?” Danny asked.
“I’m still a little curious about the portal but I don’t want to keep Damian, Tim or Alfred waiting,” Jazz said with a hand on her cheek.
“We could invite them in, I know we haven’t before but maybe Tim would know how to get it working, he is pretty good with technology.” Danny reasoned. Neither of them really wanted to involve the Wayne’s in their family’s shenanigans but at this point they were all friends and Damian and Tim were bound to find out how weird their family was at some point anyways.
Jazz stood there seeming to think things over before she nodded, “alright I trust your judgment but we’ll have to be careful okay?” 
Danny smiled at her, “of course, what’s the worst that could happen?” 
This is what led to the four of them standing at the bottom of the stairs. Their parents had left about an hour ago. Danny and Jazz were still in their suits with Tim without one and made to sit with Jazz behind the glass and Damian and Danny planning to explore the actual tube.
“I don’t want to chance you getting hurt,” he said to her as he made her stand next to Tim.
Damian and Danny shared a look and nodded before heading into the tube. 
They looked around for a while but didn’t see much besides the interconnected wires on the floor of the lab. Damian took the right side while Danny took the left. They worked their way up and down the tube. Damian was a little ahead of Danny on their way out. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.
When they were almost out Danny lost his footing, his hand flying out in front of him. A soft click was heard and time seemed to crawl to a stand still.
Danny couldn’t stand the thought of his friend getting hurt because of him and he felt a rush of adrenaline. He ran as he felt a swirl of energy and electricity surround his body. 
“DANNY!! DAMIAN!!” he heard both Tim and Jazz shout as he reached Damian who was at the mouth of the portal.
A quick shove was all it took to get Damian, who had turned towards him at the sound of the shout, out of the portal. 
“DANIEL!!” he heard Damian shout as the portal activated on top of him, surrounding his body with swirling green.
Blinding pain shot through Danny, feeling as if he was being torn apart and put back together again and again.
He figured he was dying but at least he could protect those he cared about. He was able to shove Damian out of the portal in time, and Tim and Jazz were safely behind the blast glass.
He wouldn’t ever be able to fly among the stars as an astronaut but he was able to protect. His family and friends were safe and that’s all that mattered. 
He could allow himself to succumb to the darkness as the electricity and pain consumed him whole.
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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 2 months ago
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Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park PART THREE | Love in the Big City
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chocodile · 2 months ago
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Small character detail I have no good excuse to mention: Hyden hates anything remotely similar to "fast food". This applies to all AUs. He finds greasy, cheap, oversalted/overly sugary food disgusting. Additionally, he hates--HATES--messy food. The only foods he will eat with his hands are ones that are very clean and dry and leave no residue. Getting some sort of sauce or grease on his hands is one of the worst sensations in the world (doubly so when he's a bunny… to be fair, can you imagine eating barbecue while wearing fur mittens? Ew!)
When he was younger, he was slightly more flexible on these limitations. Here he is eating a "ham burger" normally to show how normal he is. He is fitting in with the common man. He is pulling it off. He's got this. Look how relaxed he is. You could almost miss the Rolex on his wrist.
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Of course, every rule has its exceptions. As has been mentioned before Hyden often has no idea where food comes from or what goes into it. At some point, somebody failed to mention to him that Cinnabons come from kiosks at the mall and cost less than $100 each. Therefore, they escaped his "fast food is disgusting and I hate it" filter, and, in a modern AU, became one of his favorite desserts. He has a pastry or two each morning with his coffee and then wonders why he never seems to lose any weight.
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faaun · 2 months ago
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i feel like my life is falling apart and then my friend makes tiramisu and gives me some and asks if i wanna come to the little gathering on wednesday i feel alone in the world and then another friend asks if i want anything i feel unloveable and then we gather in my room with candles and blankets to watch a film all together until midnight it all becomes so much warmer w friends
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wrongcaitlyn · 2 months ago
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hey guys! so. i really really really hate to do this, but i've been thinking it over for the past few weeks and i've decided that i'm going to take a short hiatus from tyt. and by SHORT i mean that i will 100% no doubt be returning to this on the first sunday of january (jan 5), and will only be taking november and december off!!
reasons for this are quite a lot, both for the benefit of the dear reader verse and my personal life! just to briefly summarize:
college app's. i really need to prioritize these, and though i'll definitely be finished by early november, it will be taking up a lot of my time
arcane. this seems like a silly reason, but i'm an editor as well as a fic writer, and i just know that the arcane s2 release will consume my brain. i want to allow myself to fully enjoy the season release and not stress about also writing a fic so that i can edit to my heart's content :)
both of those are happening in november, but in december i will be having finals and will leave for a trip for two weeks!! as we all know (*cough* my summer vacation) i am not the best at balancing both writing and vacation, and again, i don't want to stress myself out too much on what is meant to be a vacation
other fics! i still have two unfinished fics, and i'd like to finally get those done instead of having them lingering over my head for another five months lmao
but the main reason is for the overall quality of dear reader and its upcoming one-shots!!! a whole lot of stuff is about to go down in the upcoming chapters, including several one-shots that detail other parts of the universe. according to my outline, in the next five chapters of tgol, i will also be posting 4-5 one-shots in the dear reader series (yes, two of those include the pollen lore!). i want to be able to do those stories justice, and the one-shots do tend to take a longer time to write than the tgol chapters just because i'm usually writing from new pov's and outlining a whole lot of extra plot (especially in those pollen one-shots - they're going into a completely different time period and i want to be able to confidently say i've put enough time and effort into them to be proud of them! i've been hyping the pollen lore up for quite a while now and i want to do them justice!!)
so yes. that's quite a lengthy explanation lmao but i'm justifying it to myself as well because of how much i adore tgol and don't ever want to accidentally abandon it <3 rest assured that i will be using the two months to hopefully get ahead of my outline and ensure a concrete posting schedule when i return! but for now, i will obvi still be active on here (as well as insta and tiktok, if you guys are interested in arcane content) to answer asks and ramble about tyt!!!
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shepscapades · 3 months ago
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shep I was talking to my brother about dbhc xisuma as one does and mentioned that ask about not being able to puzzle xisuma's face together mentally and my brother joked that the reason you put the spoiler bars and such on his face is cause you cant draw his whole face yet 😂
anyway I might have talked his ear off about dbhc idk tho lmao
LMAOO NOOOO!!! MY SECRET FINALLY IS OUT!!! /silly
#HEHE thats rly fun though i hope your brother is enjoying the osmosis XD#truthfully... drawing xisuma's face is still really difficult for me... bc he's always like. the character whose personality and character#like. comes from the fact that we never see his face? and so there's something about him that feels more... right when his face is just.#a mystery#but i DO have a facecanon for him. esp for dbhc bc its important. even if when i think Xisuma i don't think of his face the way i might whe#I think of other characters. that isn't the reason why I spoiler it though XD when we get the face reveal it'll be obvious enough. i hope#LMAO.#anyway#idk like#some of the first sketches i did of Xisuma's face will still be my favorites tbh#it's hard to capture the same energy of a rough sketch when you try to sharpen those soft edges into a clean picture yknow?#i HAVE gotten better at it though.... square-ish face but soft on the edges... kind blue eyes... hair always tied back tightly and neatly#idk. i think about him a LOT#especially lately but we knew this hehehe#i think he deserves to take the helmet off every once and a while and just. breathe and get out of his own head yknow#i think he gets better at it in s9 even if he only takes it off around people he really trusts (keralis and cleo)#not that doc hasnt seen him or that he distrusts doc but... well. that whole relationship is a work in progress since season 8 was. well#anyway im really and truly rambling <3#xisumas face is both an enigma to me and a soft sturdy shape in my brain... its hard to replicate consistently but those doodles are#just for me anyway =w= <3#(and a few select others. who Know. you know who you are)
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wikiangela · 5 months ago
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it's so crazy how people think a 10-ish year age gap is big and inappropriate and wrong or some shit
especially for people who met in their 30s and 40s lbffr the age gap is so not an issue
(I need some of y'all to remember buck is in his 30s, he's a grown man, tommy could be 20 years older and it'd be fine 🙄)
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celtrist · 18 days ago
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SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD BUT NOTHING TOO OBVIOUS (I would've waited a week but this one is pretty vague spoiler wise so...): I feel like most people might think she was being unfairly harsh in part due to her being a teenager and not understanding things. But I also think that's partially not giving her enough credit. I personally think she's very right in her actions, if not a bit melodramatic. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It is very clear Stolas LOVES Octavia, but his loving and caring about her does not make him a good father. As viewers, we haven't been given any reason that Octavia should forgive Stolas. She seems kind of absent in his life and we've seen him prioritize things like Blitz over her (they make it a point several times in the show with the Asmodeus song and Lulu Land). They've kind of kept alluding to how Stolas does, in action, love Blitz more and doesn't pay enough attention to Octavia. And the show doesn't put a lot of effort into showing him trying to be better in this. He SAYS he is, but actions speak louder than words (and in a show, it's 9/10 times better to show it, not tell it). There hasn't been a moment in the show that shows Stolas putting in effort to mend his relationship with Octavia when we know it's important to him. And granted, yes, they have only so much time and episodes. But by the same token, there are episodes they could've not done (cherubs and Fizzaroli episodes) that could've put focus on Octavia and Stolas' relationship. Stolas' and Octavia's relationship feels more important than the day in the life of Fizz (and I like Fizz and his forgiving Blitz adds to that story, but we didn't need to see his life with Mammon).
If they want to keep hammering in the issues between Octavia and Stolas, then they also need to show the two mending (or bonding) on screen for it to feel fair for Octavia to forgive and trust him. We can't just say "off-screen stuff" as a resolution when this relationship is consistently shown to be rough and needs work. It's like if a show kept showing a couple being terrible for each other, but they keep mentioning stuff they did off-screen that tells us the relationship is good. That's not good writing! And while I have plenty of critiques for Helluva's and Hazbin's writing, I don't feel like they'd try to pull the "they solved it off-screen" thing. I don't think they'd be SLOW about it, but I think they'd at least show us on-screen stuff with it.
While I do think Stolas was in a difficult situation, you can't deny he's not a very good father (he wasn't even aware of her interests until the Lulu Land episode). Like, he can love her all he wants, but if he's not there for her, he's not there. And we haven't been given many reasons for him NOT to be there for her. You can't really name a lot of things Stolas has done in recent times for her that we've been allowed to see. The only part of their relationship we've seen is that they do care for each other but it needs work. I think it's obvious she's gonna forgive Stolas, just in part because he does genuinely want to do better by her and they DID have a good relationship when she was younger. And I think that's a good route to go with it (especially if they make a parallel of Octavia forgiving and trusting Stolas while Barbie chooses to keep hating Blitz).
I feel like people can be a bit lenient on Stolas because he's depressed and was in a loveless forced marriage with a woman while being gay, but I don't think that's fair for a character like Octavia then to have her feelings brushed off. Like there's certainly wiggle room to be sure, but it shouldn't mean we should ignore his actions and forgive him for everything he does. Stolas did do wrong and it makes me happy to see that there are consequences to his actions (good or bad). We've seen him keep flirting with Blitz over spending time with his daughter. These are things we DO see on screen. I do think Octavia was harsh, it's not like I don't (like with her reaction to the pills), but we as viewers haven't been given much reason for Octavia to forgive Stolas so easily. We haven't seen them have a good relationship really. Hell, we haven't even been shown them having a BAD relationship really. But the times we do get, it often shows the rough, bad side of it. Yes, she's 17 so her emotions are a bit wild and everything, and while I don't think she fully understands all the complexities, I also don't think she's a baby. Like... she's not an idiot. Teenagers have the capability to understand some of these things, she's not 5. Octavia wasn't JUST upset about the pills, she's upset because the man who said would always be there for her kept leaving for the imp he had an affair with. She's upset because he keeps being dishonest with her. Stolas has done far more for Blitz than we have seen him do for Octavia. I think the pills and that he's never told her about them was just the final straw of everything.
I don't think it's fair to say "Octavia doesn't know better" when she's 17. The show has hammered in the point that his actions have not = how he feels for Octavia very well. That, or just neglected to show any good bonding moments between them or anything that didn't involve Octavia having to forgive Stolas (as any Octavia episode had Stolas ignoring her and then saying sorry. Which would maybe be fine if they showed more to their relationship outside of that).
Rambled more than I thought I would for the series I have way less interest in, haha. But I don't really care for the "Stolas did nothing wrong" attitude I see some people have when Stolas has done things wrong. He was in an unfortunate situation to be sure, but he can still do wrong things (by all accounts, him cheating on Stella was wrong on a moral level). I LIKE Stolas' character too btw, and I like how messy he is. But I feel like a lot of people are gonna brush off Octavia's view as "she doesn't know any better" or just that she was being unfair about everything when I don't think that's fair to her. She was harsh, yes. I think the pill thing she doesn't understand entirely, but she's 17 not stupid. And there's more than just the pills that Octavia has reason to be mad about concerning her father that I think people don't wanna acknowledge. Maybe I'm talking nonsense though? I don't know, I really haven't been convinced about some of Stolas' actions, even if again his situation was messy/complicated.
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