#I know a lot of folks following me are new here and guys! The beautiful thing about Tumblr is that it's one giant show and tell | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tearsoftime0086 · 1 year ago

Text

Zero-Sum Escape: A Close Reading of Code Veronica’s Steve Burnside

Introduction + Disclaimers

If you’re a friend/mutual/unfortunate witness to my discovery of Steve Burnside, you might’ve seen this coming. I’ve become an avid enjoyer of the character, which has led to some interesting discussions about him with friends! I’ve decided to write a small (edit: it was supposed to be small) piece on what makes him so interesting, using quotes and cutscenes from the original Code Veronica game. A lot of online discourse around Steve has historically been negative, so I hope this can be a positive primer for folks who want to learn more about him, or even an interesting curio for folks wondering why someone would do such an in-depth read for a one-off character.

This reading will focus strictly on Code Veronica (and not any of the Darkside Chronicles material) – with the full understanding that many aspects of the game are a product of their time, good and bad. I’ll try to cite my evidence as much as possible, but this will obviously be coming from a subjective and modern perspective as a fan of his character! I’m also a fairly new Resident Evil fan, so if anything’s incorrect, please forgive me and let me know! I’d be happy to make edits.

Anyway, this is all in good fun – and to anyone who even reads a single sentence of this, I appreciate your time!

Reference

As a way to “cite” dialogue and cutscenes, I’ll be including rough timestamps to this great video of Code Veronica cutscenes: https://youtu.be/ym46RPHqaSY?si=a6ItTpdOn3rCZq-U. Feel free to follow along, but the text should make sense without the video too.

So, who is this guy, anyway?

Let’s start with the basics. In the game Resident Evil – Code: Veronica (taking place shortly after RE:2), you start as Claire Redfield, recent prisoner of Rockfort Island. Unfortunately, Claire finds herself in the midst of another biohazard outbreak. And what’s worse is that during her escape, a stranger in a watchtower starts shooting at her indiscriminately! (0:05)

When the dust settles, Claire comes face to face with an abrasive teenager named Steve Burnside, a fellow prisoner on the island.

“Uh, sorry about that little misunderstanding…” (0:43)

This, alongside his attempts to be “smooth” – (I mean, who says “Relax beautiful…” unironically?) doesn’t do him any favors for most players. Not to mention his active derision of Claire’s skills – he leaves her with a few choice “tsks” and a “I don’t want you following me, lady. You’ll only slow me down.” (1:30).

This opening scene sets up a few key characteristics for Steve, which I’ll be referencing throughout this piece.

Steve is someone who makes numerous mistakes, ranging from purely accidental to sheer negligence.

Steve puts a heavy emphasis on reliability/dependability. He leaves Claire because he thinks she will “slow [him] down”. We’ll see more examples of his complex with “relying on others” later on.

Where do these traits leave us? A character that ends up being deeply paradoxical, and in my opinion, super fascinating because of it.

“You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others”

Claire finds Steve somewhat quickly afterwards, perusing information about her brother, Chris. I think it’s important to recognize Steve’s intent here. If he was purely focused on escaping (and leaving Claire behind), he wouldn’t have bothered looking for any records relating to her. Some folks may argue that he has a crush on Claire already, and is just following teenage impulses. But trust me, there’s more concrete evidence of teenage impulses later. For now, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was trying to help her out – it ties well with point 2.

Steve’s snooping reveals that Chris is being monitored by Umbrella. Claire immediately takes action, contacting Leon about it. At this point, Steve sarcastically tells her,

“That file shows latitude and longitude of this place. Tch, why don’t you send your brother the coordinates and ask him to come help?” (2:20)

When Claire takes him completely seriously, he becomes prickly.

S: “Hey? I was just kidding? There’s no way he could get here, even if he is your brother.” C: “Yes he can; I’m sure of it.” S: “No way. He won’t come. You’ll just end up disappointed if you rely on others. Believe me, I know!”

Steve’s sudden anger and exit demonstrate how much this topic of “reliability” affects him. He’s vocal about his need for self-reliance – and yet, if we take his investigation in a positive light, it’s not like he’s completely selfish in his attempt to escape Rockfort.

Steve is someone who desperately wants to believe in human reliability, and yet has been spurned due to the circumstances of his imprisonment. We’ll see that he tries to emulate it himself, but unfortunately (and perhaps realistically) falls short.

Yet, what really nurtures this desire is Claire – someone who he can finally depend on. The pair’s next encounter comes when Steve is in trouble (if you’ve seen the “Steve is suffering” memes, it’s from this scene). The player hears him yell a pitiful “Help me!” as he bangs against a locked door – so much for relying on yourself.

If Claire solves the puzzle fast enough, Steve escapes and tells her, “That was too close. But I found something. Thanks to… you.” (3:44).

Thus begins the two’s shaky partnership – and believe me, it’s shaky. Steve runs off yet again, only agreeing to give Claire the essential golden lugers if she trades him something “fully automatic”. But Steve’s obviously on better terms with her now, as seen when he emphatically tells her, “See? This is why you need me. I got your back,” later (5:10). Quite cooperative for someone who was crowing about not relying on others.

In the midst of these scenes is a growing desire to look good to Claire – to be someone she can count on.

The knight fantasy – and bitter reality

Steve ends up describing his own motivation pretty well. Claire finds herself stuck with a nasty Bandersnatch, before Steve dramatically comes to her rescue (more on this in the next section). Afterwards, he eagerly proclaims the following:

S: “Oh yeah, that felt good! Don’t worry Claire, your knight in shining armor is here!” C: “You wish – but thanks for the help.” S: “See? This is why you need me. I got your back.” (4:54)

Steve wants Claire to see him as someone she can rely on – as a self-proclaimed knight to save her from the influx of zombies. It’s why he tells her to wait as he clears out the following area with his “new toy” (6:35). He wants to be the hero who saves the day – Claire might not be able to count on others, but she can sure count on him. He even states it outright afterwards:

“See? You can depend on me.” (6:58)

But maybe this is too blatant of a turn even for him, because he immediately backs off and instead mentions his guns instead:

“You see? This thing is a lot more reliable than any person.” (6:59)

Claire takes immediate suspicion of this, however, and starts to ask questions.

C: “Than people?” S: “…” C: “Steve, what were you doing here? Who brought you here, and where’s your family?” S: “Shut up – I don’t want to talk about it!” *shoots his gun at the wall* C: “Steve…” S: “Never mind. Let’s get going.” (7:04)

Note that he punctures this conversation with an angsty emptying of his gun magazine at the wall. This is no knight – this is volatile, teenage behavior. Claire can tell there’s something on his mind, but Steve doesn’t seem to be in the condition to explain anything.

Steve does the same thing four times – aka, analyzing entrances

As a brief interruption (but it ties into the rest, I promise), let’s take a chance to look at the different ways Steve barges into a cutscene. Humor aside, Steve’s physical actions vary across the four different times he comes to Claire’s “rescue��.

Bandersnatch (4:30)

The first rescue is all cliches and edge. Claire’s “knight in shining armor” breaks through a window dramatically. He shoots at the Bandersnatch without even directly aiming at him, walking forward as he shoots with his dual wielded lugers. It’s almost comical as he walks straight up to the Bandersnatch, delivering a kick and single killing shot for good measure.

It’s all impractical – Steve’s incessant wish to dual wield would hardly be effective in real life, let alone everything else here. But this scene, cliche as it may be, reflects what Steve wants to be in front of Claire. He’s the action hero, the knight – the one who can be counted on to swoop in and save the day.

The Infamous Father Scene (8:13)

These heroics fail him once the two encounter his father. No longer is this a fantasy but bitter reality – and Steve can’t find it in him to shoot his infected dad. It’s only when Claire is in peril that he takes action – and this time, it’s impulsive and rough. He unloads all his ammo in a single, shaking shot, continuing to press the trigger even when it’s all gone.

It’s now that Steve tells Claire the full story – his father was caught trying to sell confidential Umbrella information, leaving his mother dead and the two of them locked up here. He morosely tells Claire, “He was a fool to do something so reckless! So stupid…” (10:15). We can see how much his father’s actions have impacted him – his desire for consistency comes from having his familial life ripped apart by the actions of someone he trusted dearly. And now, at the end of it, he is truly alone – the last one left in his family.

Alfred (11:07)

The next time we find Steve, we see a little bit of the Bandersnatch energy back in him – there’s the same aim, the same kick (to open the door) – but it’s less dramatic this time. There’s no slow-motion focus on shattered glass, no cocky final shot. In fact, this encounter leaves Steve visibly hurt – a crack in his armor. Steve’s still trying to be Claire’s dependable rescuer, and yet this encounter shows that he’s not the infallible knight he wishes to be. Far from it, considering the mistakes he'll make later on.

Alfred in Antarctica (21:30)

This cutscene skips forward a little, but it’s a nice final reminder that Steve does genuinely try his best to protect Claire, and succeeds! We see him take two stylish leaps and then shoot a quick few bullets to rescue her from Alfred. He’s still trying to emulate that knight image, but it’s more efficient than his Bandersnatch moment.

The Flight (and THAT SCENE)

After numerous troubles, Claire and Steve are finally able to escape the island. Needless to say, they’re elated and exhausted. Now that the coast is clear, Steve decides to get honest with Claire and apologize:

S: “Claire, I’m sorry. I know I caused a lot of trouble for you.” C: “No; it’s okay. It was hard for both of us.” S: “Well, I really hope you find your brother. I… I know what it’s like to be alone.” C: “Oh Steve…” S: *coughs awkwardly* “So, where should we go now? I can take you anywhere you want to go, Claire.” C: *laughs* “I hear Hawaii’s nice this time of year.” S: “You got it!” (14:20)

(On a personal note, isn’t this scene so cute? If only this was how it all ended…)

It’s here that Steve bares his heart to Claire. It’s clear that his mishaps and snarky remarks have been weighing on him too – he genuinely wants the best for her. When Claire is all too accepting and sympathetic, however, Steve begins to reveal his feelings (in… controversial ways).

After they find out that the plane is out of their control, the two of them take an uneasy rest. In the cutscene at 16:12, we find Claire leaning on Steve – a physical sign of how she relies on him. As if to follow his teenage impulses, Steve leans in for a kiss – only to startle as Claire begins to wake. His notion is thwarted immediately. Steve stands up,leans on the glass, slams the window and sighs.It shows signs of a “what was I thinking?” moment of clarity.

After all, kissing princesses in their sleep is something knights do in fairy tales. And Steve? Well, he’s no knight. He’s someone who’s almost hindered Claire’s escape as much as he’s helped, and he knows that. This thought is only exacerbated with his actions upon their arrival in Antarctica.

Antarctica, where more mistakes ensue

The plane decides to violently crashes into the side of the Umbrella Antarctica base. Steve kicks the door down and jumps first, reaching his arms out to catch Claire. She lands after, only to stumble and leave them both on the ground. Steve pulls her into a hug, which Claire doesn’t quite reciprocate. As she stands up, Steve lays back flat on the floor, sighing. It’s clear he’s jumped the gun, and it leaves him embarrassed. He doesn’t take Claire’s hand back up and tells her that they should split up to try and find a way out (18:55).

Steve’s love causes another mistake shortly after. The two of them try to break through the base wall with a digging vehicle, only for Steve to get distracted by Claire midway through. This causes a toxic gas pipe to burst – interestingly Steve tries to correct it through the controls – perhaps a reflection of his desires and fantasies for an “undo”. But in reality, he can’t undo his mistakes, and Claire is forced to grab him and leave the area.

This last mistake hits Steve particularly hard:

S: “It’s all my fault…” C: “Don’t say that. Listen to me – we’ll escape from here, together.” C: “Come on, we’ve got to shut off the gas. If we split up, we’ll have a better chance of stopping it.” S: *sighs* “…Okay.” C: “Steve. Don’t forget. We’ll get out of here. Together.” (20:45)

It’s not as if Steve is blind to his own faults – he knows that he’s been the one hindering their escape and takes it particularly hard. Claire has to reassure him multiple times that they’re working as a team to get out of here.

As a further blow to his ego, Steve is completely useless when the two exit the base and encounter Nosferatu, previous Alexander Ashford. Claire notices Nosferatu first, but Steve forces himself ahead of her soon after. He’s still clinging to the need to protect her.

However, Nosferatu easily knocks him off the platform, leaving him clinging to the side. Steve’s at his lowest here, and urges Claire to just leave him behind. If he can’t protect her, then what use is he?”

C: “Hold on, I’ll waste that monster and come back.” S: “Claire, forget about me. Run!” (23:50)

Claire’s resourcefulness and skill allow her to defeat Nosferatu and come back to Steve, still weakly hanging on. She pulls him back up, and Steve is left apologizing again for his rash behavior:

S: “I’m sorry. I failed you.” C: “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go.” *she leaves* S: “I swear I’ll protect you next time, Claire.” (25:15)

At this point, Steve’s all too aware of how his mistakes have left both of them in peril. It’s something that he deeply dislikes – as someone who wants to be dependable, he’s being a poor show of it. Claire’s been the one helping him out through most of this, both emotionally and physically. And so he makes himself a promise that next time, he’ll repay the favor.

It’s with this personal promise that the two climb aboard a snowmobile, hoping that they can make it to the Australia base. Unfortunately, this escape is a dead-end for them as well.

Sleep, weary knight

After Alexia awakens and destroys the snowmobile, Claire is rescued by Chris, who managed to find a way to Antarctica. She’s insistent that they must rescue Steve. She finds him cuffed to a chair in a long hallway, with an axe against his throat.

To Claire’s dismay, it seems she’s too late. Alexia has injected Steve with the t-Veronica virus. Steve’s last words before his transformation are a desperate plea for help. At this point, he’s actively asking for help from the one he loves, but fate has it that Claire is powerless. He begs Claire to save him, but she can only watch in despair as he morphs and chases after her.

In what seems to be a miracle of love, Steve manages to snap out of it just before he lands the killing blow. He instead slashes through Alexia’s entrapping vines, sparking her ire and a fatal blow to his chest. He dies in Claire’s arms, once again in human form, lamenting how he couldn’t protect her – how he couldn’t be her knight:

C: “Oh Steve…” S: *brings Claire’s hand to his cheek* “You’re… warm…” C: “Steve, you’ve got to hang in there, okay? My brother’s come to save us. We’re getting out of here!” S: “Your brother kept his promise. I’m sorry I cannot…” C: “What? What are you saying?” S: “I’m glad that I met you… I…. I love you… Claire…” C: “Steve? Steve?! Steve!” (34:15)

To players who dislike Steve, this may be a cheesy ending to a tedious character. And yet – we see Steve’s character arc complete fully in this final scene. No longer is he a volatile teenager, or a “cool” hero, or a self-perceived deadweight. He’s just Steve – utterly human Steve, who couldn’t keep his promise, and yet saved Claire in his own way. And it’s in these final, human, moments that he can confess his true feelings – only for everything – his façades, his love, everything – to all vanish.

The arm theory

As a somewhat lighter ending to this post, I’d like to discuss a little theory of mine.

People who have been following along with all the cutscenes might have noticed Steve’s right arm getting injured during the fight with Alfred. There’s no visual effect on his model, and Steve even claims, “I’m fine; it’s just a scratch” (11:30). And yet I’m convinced that it was quite a serious wound.

Note that he continues clinging to the platform in the Nosferatu battle with his left hand (24:40), not his right. Yet he keeps clutching his right arm in the cutscene after (25:44). And more importantly, Claire is the one driving the snowmobile during their escape attempt, after Steve had taken the wheel so many times prior (25:59). My theory is that the deterioration of his right arm is also why the arm is significantly skinnier upon his final transformation. If you look super closely at the bottom of the screen, you can actually see his right hand convulse as he mutates! Does this imply anything? Not really. But it would be cool to see this brought back somehow in a hypothetical remake, especially as Darkside Chronicles skipped these parts entirely. Kind of reminds me of another Resident Evil character who had arm injuries…

Anyway, if anyone made it this far, thank you! I hope this was a little insight into why I appreciate Steve so much as a character – and maybe in my wildest dreams, made you potentially enjoy him too.

#resident evil #resident evil: code veronica #recv #steve burnside #claire redfield #bits and baubles #temporary brainworm tag #aka my long meta post for steve that I hope did him justice

30 notes · View notes

triangularitydubs · 8 months ago

Text

Digital Hearts

Episode 1: Beginnings

(⚠️LOTS OF READING⚠️)

(We begin many years ago… in the land known as Paradise Peninsula. There is a pan shot roll in with the tide as we come across the house of our main character Pomni.)

(Pomni rushes out of her home suddenly, as for now, she is a kid. She begins to run around Paradise Peninsula while the camera follows her.)

(She eventually knocks on another door, and a few moments later, out pops Ragatha, one of 2 childhood friends.)

POMNI:

Hey! Ragatha! Wanna hang out?

RAGATHA:

Of course, Pom! What'cha got planned today?

POMNI:

Oh nothin, maybe explore a certain area I might've saw a Paopu Fruit at.

RAGATHA:

NO WAY!!

POMNI:

(SHE NODS) Let's go get Jax, then we'll look for it!

RAGATHA:

(SHE SMIRKED) Lead the way Pom!

(As they run to Jax's house, the camera follows them both again.)

(This time Ragatha knocks on Jax's door)

(He answers and gives his usual remarks)

JAX:

Rags, Pom, what a surprise! Always thrilled to see you two…whats up?

RAGATHA:

Pomni thinks she found a Papou Fruit!

JAX:

Pfft..no way, Pom. Those things are as rare as it gets. Not even my folks have seen one in their lifetime.

POMNI:

Seeing is believing and I KNOW I saw one.

JAX:

Alright, Alright. Show us then.

(The Squad does one last follow cam shot till they get to the fruit Pomni is taking then to.)

POMNI:

There it is… BASK in its glory.

(RAGATHA and JAX look up in awe, they can't believe they are seeing a Papou Fruit.)

JAX:

I've got to be dreaming.

POMNI:

I heard if you find it, any wish you make on it comes true… wanna race for it?

RAGATHA and JAX:

You bet!

(The Squad begins to race to where the Papou Fruit is. Pomni ends up winning.)

POMNI:

I won! Hmm… whaddya guys want?

JAX:

Hmm… how about more Christmas presents?

RAGATHA:

Y'know, I feel like we need adventure in our lives!

JAX:

For once, Rags is right.

POMNI:

Ok… I wish me and my friends went on a grand adventure!

(Transition to the medieval floating kingdom of Hollow Chesstion, where mannequins walk the streets. Fade to Pomni's new house.)

(Adult Pomni walks out into the streets but gets trampled by 3 hooded figures, and a pair of teeth with eyes behind them)

KING CAINE:

Stop this instant! YOU FIENDS!!

(Pomni blankly stares up at them from the ground as the hooded figures disappear from sight. The King guy stops and looks at Pomni)

KING CAINE:

You! Did you see those hooligans? The tall one with the fancier cloak overtook the castle and turned our King against us.

POMNI:

Well golly.. who's king now?

KING CAINE:

I guess I'll have to suffice as I AM his royal advisor… say…would you be up for the adventure of a lifetime?

POMNI:

Oh.. I don't know I kinda spent all my childhood building a boat and sailing the seas to get here…um that's enough adventure for me.

KING CAINE:

That's quite a shame…it would entail endless riches and the power of… The Digital Heart.

POMNI:

The Digital Heart? What's that?

KING CAINE:

Imagine, a status of a hero, a legend in history, plus all the Gloinkoin you could ever wish for!

POMNI:

…Um…

KING CAINE:

FANTASTICAL!

POMNI:

But I didnt say-

KING CAINE:

I'll even let you pick out TWO allies so you're not alone!

POMNI:

I.. I..(She sighs) I guess if I HAVE to do this, I'll pick my friends, Jax and Ragatha.

KING CAINE:

Splendid! I shall call you all to the castle this afternoon to get prepared for the adventure of a lifetime!

(Later that afternoon, Pomni arrives with Jax and Ragatha. A Mannequin guard stops them at the castle gate.)

MANNEQUIN GUARD:

Halt, what brings you to King Caine's Castle?

POMNI:

(She was slightly taken aback that the guards had so quickly accepted Caine as king) Um… my friends and I were invited to talk to him about.. an.. “adventure of a lifetime”?

MANNEQUIN GUARD:

I see, Lower the bridge!

(Right then the Drawbridge to the castle came crashing down and two fancy red double doors awaited at the end of a beautiful garden. Our trio marched on and through the doors)

(Caine sat on the throne awaiting their arrival)

KING CAINE:

Pomni! You arrived! Who might your friends be?

POMNI:

These are my friends, Ragatha(She motions towards the ragdoll) and Jax(motions towards the purple rabbit)

KING CAINE:

It's quite a pleasure to meet you both. I suppose if you three are going to go on an adventure, you need the proper etiquette! So I shall grant you three magic and weapons!

(The three of them seemed excited)

KING CAINE:

Ragatha, I shall make you a mage. So here's a wand, and a new set of threads!

(Caine did some magic of his own and Ragatha's outfit transformed onto a light blue dress with patches, a long purple cloak and a Obtained a blue hat with a big patch on it)

KING CAINE:

Now you will be the mage and healer, you have access to Fire, Blizzard, and Thunder! You also can use cure to help your teammates! Use this power carefully because you can run out of mana!

RAGATHA:

Sweet!(She waved her new wand around a bit)

KING CAINE:

Jax, It's not much but here is a shield and a small sword! You are the warrior/brute of the group! You can't use magic but you have a higher critical hit chance!

JAX:

Can't complain if I get to swing around a sword.. HAH!(he swings it around as well, but more rapidly, Ragatha had to duck.)

KING CAINE:

Now, Pomni I am trusting you with the most powerful weapon in the world, The Keyblade. It can unlock any door…and cast spells AND be used as sword. You are the leader of this adventure.

Your task is to find The Digital Heart, Find The Lost Princess ane Defeat The Dark One. I'm almost certain he won't stop at Hollow Chesstion, but take over other worlds as well.

For now… I feel like he might cause trouble near the town square for that's the direction I had to chase him and his colleagues.

I'll give you Bubble as a companion. She can do a lot of things such as shop items, sell items and even Upgrade you and your party. Explore with her a bit and she can unlock some real potential that will help you on your journey.

(Pomni looked nervous as she was soaking all this in)

KING CAINE:

No more lollygagging! Go forth and save the world!

(With that our squad was pushed out of the castle and before their eyes there stood a large abstracted blob in the distance, presumably at the Town Square)

POMNI:

Oh s[#^#^#]

(FADE TO BLACK, CREDITS)

#the amazing digital circus #tadc au #the amazing digital circus au #theamazingdigitalcircus #tadc #tadc fanart #tadc jax #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc caine #Digital Hearts tadc

11 notes · View notes

go-learn-esperanto · 1 year ago

Text

I'm making this post specifically for a new follower @crescentstudies to say:

This blog has a lot of MCYT stuff aka content related with Minecraft roleplay. Just so you're aware. This blog is very much my personal blog which kinda translates to a lot of fandom stuff. I know you followed me because you found one of the few Portuguese related posts I make. Now, I am very passionate about my language and culture and absolutely love discussing it but unfortunately I'm also obsessed with block people. I say this as a warning for the future of your dashboard

That being said the fact that you're learning European Portuguese is really sweet, and I assume it's not easy to find resources, at least not as easy as Brazilian Portuguese. So I'm gonna do a bit of a cultural post where I give something that I think is essential for learning a language; finding fun content that is culturally relevant. A lot of times when learning a language you see a lot about language and rules and although that can be fun sometimes it can quickly get really boring. Sometimes finding some content isn't easy when you're learning the language and aren't emersed in the culture.

Give it up for

My Portuguese music recommendation

A list for people who are interested in the culture or just want to hear some different music from a different country. Of course the music I'm gonna give is gonna depend on what I like and what I know, so you're not gonna get Pimba from me (for context Pimba is like... Usually very simple formulaic Portuguese pop songs that are played at parties... Not the kind your parties you're probably thinking of but more like festivals with a lot of people. It's not really good music in a cultural sense, and the music style is kinda stolen from Germany but that's a whole other story)

youtube

Let's start with a song that came out this year! Some might recognise this girl as the one that represented Portugal in Eurovision two years ago. I believe she has a lot of great songs, both in English and Portuguese. I'm sharing this one as I find the acoustic guitars in it absolutely beautiful.

youtube

(Flashing TW) Alternative Rock babyyy!!!! Even if you don't understand the lyrics this one is still fun as hell, although understanding them does make the song better of course. It's about how the singer is having a bad day so he's gonna be really really pissy about it. If you're wondering why the vocalist is half naked all I can say is that I've seen this band live, and he doesn't start naked but he's always gotta be by the end of the concert. Why? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

youtube

A surrealistic song from the 80s. The lyrics don't really make much sense, however the song shouldn't have the right to be this good.

youtube

And keeping on the theme of "80s songs with lyrics that make zero sense but the woman who's singing them is absolutely killing it" we have this one. Clearly a pop-jazz that's just really fun to listen to.

youtube

A Portuguese folk song. I'm mentioning this song because last year I made a post about it discussing the lyrics and various versions of the song. I really enjoy it.

youtube

This song is just pretty. It's really difficult to explain. It seems to tell a fairytale like story of a man meeting and falling in love with Starfish goddess or nymph on the beach. The piano and the lyrics are just gorgeous. That's all.

youtube

A song by a band that is known for its very lively songs. Funnily enough the most popular songs from this group are not my favouritea from them. This group explores such topics as

The singer wants to get together with her neighbour

The singer wants to get together with a guy from a marching band

The singer wants to get together with a priest?? Is that what I'm getting here??? She keeps saying she has a lot of guys that want to fuck her in religious imagery and that she's better than the virgin Mary I fucking can't

The singer wanted to get together with a guy from the notary but he was an asshole so she hit him in the face with stamps (The paper and the ink kind of stamps) (the sexual energy and innuendos of this song though 💀)

The singer wants to fuck you up (In which way you ask? Wouldn't you like to know weather boy 😏😘)

The singer says you should stop playing video games because she wants to beat you up with her bare hands

The singer wants to go to the beach but the weather is always shit so she has resulted to judging her neighbours that actually managed to go to the beach for their lack of cultural knowledge out of jealousy

If you've done something good say it's from Portugal if you've done something bad lie and say it's from Spain (the actual meaning of this song is ultra nationalism is stupid)

Your parents' expectations are bullshit

The economy is bullshit

The singer is dinning with friends and they keep asking her to sing but she manages to literally flee from the restaurant without singing... Or paying

However this song in specific is about how after falling in love the singer can't help but see happiness around her. She knows nothing is perfect, she knows the world is fucked, but for a moment she just wants to be happy.

youtube

A comedy song! A very weird song that describes the tragic deaths of various animals upon touching lightbulbs. It's not in standard Portuguese, very much on purpose, but in the Alentejo dialect. I guarantee it's funnier than in it sounds by the description. Unfortunately this is a song where you do have to understand the lyrics to get it, but if you do It's really good. The images this person is putting on the video do make it 10× better too, as they are doing surprisingly well at showcasing the whole story the song is telling.

#Portuguese #european portuguese #portugal #Youtube #music #música #português #long post

17 notes · View notes

renjungobrrr · 6 months ago

Text

Queer Media, you should check out!!!

Hello everyone. As everyone knows, it is pride month! To celebrate pride, I made a post on queer media you should check out. I hope you guys like it

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!

This manga has a live-action movie and an anime adaptation. I personally only saw the movie and the anime. There are some differences, but both are good regardless. The anime got me in a chokehold, and I've been fixated on this for a few days now.

If you don't know about Cherry Magic! It is a story about Kiyoshi Adachi, a virgin who suddenly gains the power to read people's minds by touching them when he turns thirty. Through this power, he was able to recognize the feelings of his colleague, Yuuichi Kurosawa. Will he be able to return his feelings back or not? Watch it to find out hehehe. There is also Adachi's friend, Tsuge, who is also in a similar situation and finds Tsuge and Minato really cute together.

Overall, this was really good, and I keep rewatching over and over again.

The Owl House

Unlike Cherry Magic, this show focuses more on the lore than the romance in the show but it is good to point out that there are a lot of LGBTQ+ characters on The Owl House. The main character is canonically bisexual and there are other characters that are lesbian, pansexual, non-binary and etc. It is a phenomenal show and you should give it a watch!

If you have never heard of The Owl House, it is a show that focuses on Luz, a 14-year-old human discovering a whole new magical realm called the Boiling Isles and wishing to become a wizard. It is a show filled with beautiful storytelling and amazing world-building. Overall, it was an amazing show, and I can not explain how much this show means to me and how incredible this is.

Yuri on Ice!!!

This anime is not a BL but we can't deny that Yuri and Viktor are inlove with each other. (quick spoiler ahead!) THEY LITERALLY KISSED (Spoiler ends here DUXGUXGDH)

If you dont know about Yuri on Ice!!!, it is a series about Yuri Katsuki, a pro figure skater who was about to retire but meets Viktor and Yurio, who brings his back his love to compete in figure skating. I love this series. It gave me all the feels. It's such a good series, and you should check it out!

Heartstopper

Here is another piece of media that isn't animated. It is a live action series on Netflix based on the Webtoon with the same name. It follows Charlie and Nick and centers around their school life and young love.

I love Heartstopper soo much and it has a special place in my heart. I'm not the biggest fan of live action series or movies but this is one of the few exceptions. It is filled with wholesome moments and moments where you want to scream or want to cry. Overall, it is a good series to binge on and you should definitely give it a try.

Well, that's all for today, folks! I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed making this. Happy pride, everyone!

#anime #cartoon #the owl house #cherry magic #yuri on ice #heartstopper #live action #owl house #cherry magic! thirty years of virginity can make you a wizard?!#cherry magic is the sole reason i made this post fodjsjfnskssksk #i love all of these soooo much

5 notes · View notes

kelmcdonald · 2 years ago

Text

See You at VanCAF

This is copy pasted from my newletter.

Hey all! My main thing is I'll be at VanCAF which is in Vancouver, British Columbia on May 20&21. They haven't posted con maps yet, so I don't know what my table number is. But I'll be there and it's free to get into. So stop by!

Like I said the big thing this month is going to VanCAF. The rest of the month is mostly keeping my nose to the grindstone.

This month's full moon movie is The Wolfman again. This time the remake. While watching the original Wolf Man, myself and other folks in the discord talked about some of the stuff that was changed in the remake (stuff like the remake is twice as long.) So I figured doing a back to back would be kinda fun. So if you wanna join, we'll be watching it May 5th at 6pm PST. Join the discord if you want.

As always I'll be streaming art on Twitch. My schedule is currently the following:

Tuesday 8pm-10pm PST

Wednesday 8pm-10pm PST

Thursday 6pm-9pm PST (during the Iron Circus Geekshow)

I mentioned last month that I was redoing the live reading of Fame and Misfortune. My mic worked this time so I've saved it and posted it on my youtube. We go over through the whole story in about 30 mins. Then I answer some questions from fans.

I'll definitely doing something like this for The Better to Find You With. As I'll get to in the next section, I got a lot of stuff on my plate. It will probably be some time in the fall.

I spent a lot of April still playing catching up on things. I was really backed up on my work for Seven Seas. I think I got it handled now, but Blue Moon is still not done. I think that has to be my primary focus this month. I was hoping to get the current chapter of You are the Chosen One last month, but that didn't happen. It's penciled so for the next few Fridays I'll post the pencils of the rest of chapter.

By the time those go up, I'll hopefully be done with Blue Moon and can give You are the Chosen One more attention. I hate to do it, but I have to put something on hold. The City Between being free means it gets me more new readers/attention and You are the Chosen One takes longer. And after I write Blue Moon, I should probably make sure the next batch of You are the Chosen One script are ready for drawing. So here's my to do list/priority:

Write Blue Moon

Keep up with The City Between

Freelance thing that is NDA

Clean up Murky Water to make a book

Finish Chapter 3 of You are the Chosen One

Review next few chapters of You are the Chosen One

Anyway, that's quite a lot. I barely had time to read or watch new stuff this month. So kinda a short list this month.

Darling by Olivia Stephens - Darling is a Western Horror about a black woman who's living as a werewolf to escape the racism of 1800s America. She meets a black man on the run and the two have an instant connection Olivia art is excellent and rendering makes every page look both beautiful and haunting. It's one of the best werewolf comics I've read. You should all go back it here.

Love is Hard for Otaku - This is one checked out because Mangasplaining did an episode on it. They had a kinda mixed opinion of it, but I was curious to look into it myself. It's about a gal who's a big nerd but is hiding it from her day job because her last boyfriend dumped her for being too nerdy. A nerdy guy friend proposes they date each other because since they are both nerds she won't have to worry about him dumping her for it. There is a manga and an anime. The manga is a little rough. The pacing seems to be kinda wonky. The anime does a better job landing the jokes, mostly because a lot of the jokes involved references to anime. So the joke works better when they can copy the scene from Evangelion shot for shot, rather than translation the animation into a comic. I don't 100% buy the characters as a couple so I'm on the fence about continuing to watch it.

Nope - This was something that was on my I should get around to seeing this movie since it came out. It was streaming so I made a point to watch it. It's less than a year old so I won't go into details about the plot. But I really liked the point it makes about random chance and nature. I also really liked the relationship between the two main siblings. It was a good mix for conflict, frustration, and affection.

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through the big workload that's going on. Please back my Patreon if you can. Every little bit helps!

#newsletter #kel mcdonald newletter #werewolves #comics #webcomics #fame and misfortune #the city between #you are the chosen one #nope movie #love is hard for otaku #olivia stephens

2 notes · View notes

shiningdesignersreflections · 4 months ago

Text

Chapter 2: Cloudy Moment

Narrated by Yuntan.

Narrator: We have an unexpected visitor in the valley on the night of my second ever Cloud New Year.

Narrator: It's a cold night, and all the trees and plants make it all the more difficult to tell the way.

Narrator: The man has a lantern in his hand and is pacing back and forth on the dark mountain road.

Flower: Hey! Are you here for trekking?

Narrator: I wave my leaves at the man excitedly, but he just looks around, not noticing me.

Man: Holy, this is proving to be a lot more difficult than I thought. When am I ever gonna be able to get back in town?

Flower: But what are you in such a rush for? Why not slow down and take a look around you?

Man: What's that smell? A flower?

Flower: So you finally notice me? Look this way! Hey! I'm going to bloom!

Narrator: After spending some time pacing around, the man runs into me, which freaks me out.

Flower: My, you're a rude one!

Narrator: The man is totally unaware of what just happened. When he raises his lantern high up, however, he gasps.

Man: What a beautiful flower! And who would have expected to find a flower like this in such a dark mountain!

Narrator: What a pleasant remark, but that doesn't mean I've already forgotten about what he just did. I flit my petals.

Flower: You aren't the most well-mannered of people, but I can still forgive you if you know how to appreciate my beauty. I'm the most beautiful of flowers in this valley!

Narrator: But the man quickly looks away. He doesn't seem like he's going to write a poem, nor does it seem like he's going to gift me to a girl.

Man: Sir Li is a man of culture, and he loves flowers of all kinds. He just might reward me properly if I tell him about this rare flower here!

Flower: Wait, where are you going? Aren't you going to spend some more time looking at me?

Narrator: The man left without taking another look at me. The light of his swaying lantern was the last thing I saw.

Narrator: I'm no stranger to seeing people and things come and go. Strangely enough, however, I had never felt so alone until I saw the man leave.

Flower: Why didn't he bother taking just one more look at me, though? I'm so beautiful.

Narrator: Silence.

Narrator: I wake up to some noise the next day, right around when the first beam of sunlight has greeted the world.

Man: It's here! It's right around here, Sir Li!

Narrator: It's the man from yesterday. He is followed by an extremely well-dressed, middle-aged man, and the two of them are encircled by a group of robust young men.

Flower: Didn't think you'd come to visit me with so many people. What a pleasant surprise!

Narrator: I try to stand straight and greet him with my leaves.

Flower: Right over here!

Narrator: The man, however, is looking all over the place except at me.

Man: Sir, I would never lie to you, but I really saw a huge flower last night.

Attendant: Nonsense. There's nothing but grass here!

Flower: It's me. Take a closer look...

Attendant: This isn't exactly the kind of place you should have taken us to around New Year.

Attendant: Are you sure it wasn't some supernatural being you ran into?

Attendant: Poor guy was probably just daydreaming!

Narrator: I bet these people didn't come for the flowers here, because they didn't even bother looking at me!

Flower: He's telling the truth, though! I'm pretty when I bloom! You just need to really look at me!

Choose either "They can't see you" or "They can't hear you."

If "see," ...

You: They don't recognize you, so they can't see you.

Narrator: Oh, right... I totally forgot that I look no different from grass when I don't bloom.

If "hear," ...

You: These are folk with no magic powers. They can't hear you.

Narrator: Not only can't they hear me, they don't recognize me when I don't bloom...

Narrator: The middle-aged man is upset... so much so that he never notices that I'm right there.

Narrator: The man from the night before looks upset, too. He is pacing back and forth around me, and I'm hoping he can recognize me.

Flower: Nice guy, I bet you don't remember me, no? I was breathtaking when I bloomed, right?

Narrator: Without giving me so much as a response, he spits on the ground and leaves the valley.

Narrator: After the group left, I'm again all alone in the valley... with nothing except the chilly wind.

You: You okay?

Narrator: ...Fine. I don't want to be surrounded by people who don't appreciate my beauty anyway.

Narrator: Don't worry. I'm not feeling sad at all. I'm... just...

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

#yuntan #shining nikki #chapter 2 #transcript #ur designer #cloudy moment #missed opportunity #admirer #loneliness

0 notes

antoniadixon · 8 months ago

Text

Dashboard | Explore ❗WARNING: Spoilers for season two of House of the Dragon may follow ❗ Blondes have more fun But do they, though? 'Tis the question on everyone's lips. Brunettes are also impartial to the partaking of amusement. So, if not a question of Blonde vs. Brunette, perhaps Black vs. Green makes for a more adequate grudge match. Well, what are the chances? House of the Dragon is making its merry way hither our screens. And, by a stroke of luck, they have done away with Blondes vs Brunettes and instead bestowed upon us two (2) trailers for our viewing pleasure. There is Black Trailer to give us an insight into one Princess Rhaenyra of House Targaryen. There is also, for balance, Green Trailer for a window into Queen Alicent of House Hightower. Best of all? You can watch both in any order you like. Black, then Green? Green before Black? Both at once? Why not. The world's your oyster. @tessas-thompson House of the Dragon is back. Huzzah. Technically it's back when it premieres on HBO and Max on June 16, but it's all exciting enough. It will be no surprise to learn there is ample ground to cover, and eight episodes to traverse it. There will be the aforementioned skirmish between the Black Council, the supporters of Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen, and those of dowager Queen Alicent Hightower and the Green Council; those who fought to put King Aegon II Targaryen on the Iron Throne. But there will also be the introduction of new characters: Cregan Stark, the Lord of Winterfell, the Warden of the North, who appears briefly walking with Cregan at the top of the wall. There is Gwayne Hightower, one of Otto's sons and the eldest of Alicent's brothers, who we glimpse momentarily clad in armor, mid-battle. If those two men with a torch and club are anything to go by, season two will also see us finally make the acquaintance of Blood and Cheese. Blood and Cheese! And the hoodlums of House Bracken! Sunfyre, the most beautiful dragon who ever lived! The castle of Harrenhal, seat of House Strong! The reintroduction of Seasmoke! The (speculated) Battle of Rook's Rest! It's a lot. We're here for it. But know this, Dear Reader: proceedings will be Large. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, showrunner Ryan Condal said: "This season, we shot two of the largest sequences that certainly I've ever done as a maker of television, certainly that House of the Dragon has ever done. I don't know that they're bigger necessarily than anything Game of Thrones has done, because they got pretty big in the end. But certainly, we're going to see new things that you have not seen before within this world. There's some pretty epic stuff to come. It's just a couple months away, guys." That would be that. What exactly that is, is pretty formidable. If June 16 seems a distance, remember two things: (1.) Time's strange mutations will bring it here before you know it. (2.) you can pass that time nicely over at #house of the dragon. Can't we all just get along @margoterobbies @birdmans @kazz-brekker @dailyflicks weeping statue of mary / alicent hightower (@vampiremotif) @peters-lab-partner @wyldeout it's happening, folks (@mercymaker) @annieodesta supporting my mother who raised me. (@emptyportrait) Automattic | 60 29th Street #343 San Francisco, CA 94110 Privacy Policy Terms Email Settings Unsubscribe Google Play and the Google Play logo are trademarks of Google LLC.

#houseofthedragon seasontwo letsgo

1 note · View note

temporarymoods · 1 year ago

Text

"relax" time

hey bloggggerooni,

you're intercepting me in my personal time. you see, i've been employing apple calendar-- i cannot reccomend her enough-- and 10:07 PM puts us in the block of time labeled "Relax" and colored purple. I could do anything in these next two hours. And I decided to get a little high and talk to you.

I haven't smoked in a while, it's true! Especially alone. A girl does not have the time. But I've been looking forward to it, knowing its at the priority list, but if I can just,, do enough,, to reach it. Lmao. I meant it when I said I've been busy.

Unfortunately, I've got so much, too much, sativa. I know, I know, so lame; shut up about weed strains. But I had to say it?! Why did I go crazy. Why did I do that. Lol. Anyway, the only non **wake up** product got with me is this hyrbid flower. Didn't even get the chance to think about rolling by the time I see this beautiful little blue bowl. Honestly viewer, I forgot where I got it from. Thus prompted the following one-handed-ly-typed note:

wherr did i get. t his bowl

I take notes a lot, when I'm awake. About lots of things, right. Here's another:

- directory ,, crm/?

So know they're (me) talking about those personal communications file flippers. Do you know the old ones? Where 90s business professionals used to keep track of how long its been since they last intereacted with a person? Boy have those had an effect on me. Why do I think about those all of the time. I just wished upon mine, but alas, it does not exist.

I've been thinking a lot today, yesterday. So much, in comparison to how much I've been looking at myself. Very little. So much so, that when I go to get a little high and on my porch with my blog, as a treat, hehe, and I see my reflection in the facetime app, it gives me pause. I am a person, I am a human, I'm one of them, the rest of them, who you think about all the time. And you've got people. Wait, who are those people? And how are they doing?

That might be something I need to do more.

- - -

Welcome to K-Ray94.4, this is your DJ Kate. For your considering, the following, without further ado...

Hawks | Jodi

Rubberneckerss | Christian Lee Hutson

End of Beginning | Djo

Salvation Army | Harrison Whitford

Calling the Shots | Jamie B.

Horable Mention: I'd Have to Think About It | Leith Ross

Guys, gals, pals, despite love, despite commitment, despite trust, I can not get myself to listen to anything other than indie/folk right now.

I'll be back, though, I'll be back................

That one bowl went berserk. Another? she asks.

Trader Joe's chocchip muffin for now, thanks.

Part of me's been wanting to change the theme on here, super randomly. Like it's too bright. I really like the old Microsoft look, haha, but want something darker...? Or I'm clinging to a passing vampirism fetish?

I can see the glowing lights of the city skyline from here. They're twinkling, like jewels, through the new gap in the tree foliage. Soon there will be more of them, and I'll have a warm drink, a scarf and mittens. I look forward to those times.

Lots to look forward to. !! :)

I've been liking these thoughts so far, catching their flow through time. I like writing; i just always get so scared.

Until soon, very soon, as there's lots to discuss, Kate 10/10/23 10:31PM

p.s. playlist 'momtober'

#darling #girls who smoke weed #lmao what is that tag hahaefasfhb #pumpkins soon #orange #colder breath #trying #outsidemyhead

0 notes

rayofsunas · 4 years ago

Text

s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

A/n: hello everyone! I hope your day is going alright, and that you’re doing well 🥰 I recently hit 300+ folllwers, like Sunday morning, and omg, that was the best thing to wake up too 🥺❤️ thank you those new and old for following and taking a chance with my account and sometimes trashy works 🙃 I’m gonna make a longer post at some point saying my thanks and discuss what I plan to do to celebrate 300 followers. It would really mean a lot to me if you guys chimed in if you have any ideas, after all, this is a thanks to you and I want you all to be involved! also, if you saw my recent rambles about how a draft was deleted, it’s referring to this post... what I had written got deleted TWICE in the span of FIVE MINUTES. gosh I was so pissed, I almost screamed. mobile tumblr is not it 😔 but here we are. I hope you like this. I tried to write this three times.... 🤡 also, since I am not a doctor or anything, I put a link to possible symptoms/what a “mental breakdown” is, that’s in the warnings, just click the link, it helped with my accuracy.

Summary: s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.

Parings: Xiao/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)

Warnings: angst, mental breakdown (panic attacks, stress, anxiety, ptsd, hallucinations, insomnia) fluff, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of injury

Word count: 3.5k (whew after tumblr DELETING this draft twice here we are folks ;-;)

requested by @mintyhuening

Xiao

he knew you weren’t okay at all

Xiao knew the moment you locked yourself in your house

at first he thought maybe you were just temporarily feeling this way, but as the weeks passed and you hadn’t come out, he decided maybe not

coming from someone who enjoyed silence and solitude he could understand the distancing part, but it had been weeks, and even he needed socialization, so why hadn’t you come out?

you spoke to him through the door a few times, letting him know you were alright

he didn’t believe that though, sure you were alive, but not alright, he was mainly checking for confirmation to see if you were still alive while he thought of a good way to approach the situation

he didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he also hated the fact that you wouldn’t come out, not even to see him

it was lonely without you, he concluded

even for someone who enjoy solitude

you were a careful creature, but never this careful and cautious...

were humans always like this?

eventually, he couldn’t stand it, and did find other ways to get into your house

he grew antsy after pacing outside your door for days

he found you huddled in your bed, a heap of pillows and blankets surrounding you

you were shocked to see him when he’d sat down on the foot of the bed, causing it to dip significantly

“How did you get in?” You snapped once you saw who it was.

“I have my ways.” He said raspily. With a huff of annoyance, you were back to facing the wall, away from the Adepti.

“It’s dark in here.” He announced matter a factly, looking around the nearly pitch-black room, windows and doors covered by sheets and hefty duty curtains. “It’s how I like it.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“I don’t care, go away.”

Xiao was starting to grow impatient surprisingly, he truly just wanted to help, why couldn't you see that?

“Being passive is not going to help the situation, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

He worried. If he said the wrong, would you push him away even further? If he said the right thing, would you even care? Did you want help?

Xiao moved closer to you, hand going to touch your leg, although it was underneath the blankets, you felt it and did have to admit the affection was comforting.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Xiao said. “Your friends miss you, I miss you as well.”

Maybe if you weren’t cooped up here anymore, you would start to come around. The room and house all together were very stuffy, dark, and depressing, he despised it.

“It’s beautiful outside, come with me,” he'd whispered. “At least if you don’t want to be around people, could you allow me to take you to a secluded area?”

“The fresh air will do you good.”

You were thinking about it, you had to of been if you still cared.

“Fine, mother.” He watched with hope in his eyes as you slowly rose from the bed, and began

The outside world was very very bright at first, enough to induce a headache. But you became used to it the more you were out.

Xiao stayed true to his word like you knew he would unless you wouldn’t have come. You were taken to a very secluded area, there wasn’t even a path or road to it, just green luscious grass, and crystal core everywhere, beautiful blue and orange ones; Anemo and Geo respectively. You weren’t sure where you were, somewhere between Mondstadt and Liyue, you assumed.

The fresh air did wonders, Xiao had noticed. You seemed to open up. Telling him a little of the problem. You had told him about how life was just stressful right now, you hadn’t taken any commissions in weeks, spoken to any of your friends Mondstadt, hence why they had come to him, accusing him of kidnapping and brainwashing you. He was offended, nonetheless let them know that wasn’t the case.

The ever so secluded Xiao would take you out more, slowly introducing you to crowds of people, and would still take you on daily walks to that secret place you now called your special spot.

It would take a while, he knew that, and you wouldn’t be comfortable doing everything that others around you did, maybe not for a while. He could respect that, as long as you allowed him to help and encourage you.

Scaramouche

being a harbinger was HARD, Scaramouche knew that, even if he didn’t admit it

admitting it was challenging, could lead to always being doubted or seen as incompetent. therefore, no one mentions how hard it is

he had been off doing his duties when he got news that you had lashed out at a few lower rank fatui on your team, resulting in you being called in to meet with The Tsaritsa... let's just say she went easy on you because you were one of her highest ranking soldiers, if not, she would've severely punished you

you were forced back to your sleeping quarters immediately to calm down, told to stay put until you could stop “lashing out like a child” as she had put it

you weren’t one to argue against The Tsaritsa, everyone knew that was common rule... so you walked back as calmly as you could without snapping at anyone else

when Scaramouche had heard how you acted, he was annoyed

the always so calm and calculated Y/n, lashing out at her fellow members? he couldn’t help but be annoyed, despite it being completely out of character of you

he had finished his duties relatively quick, wondering why you were acting so out of character

when he got back, he found you in your sleeping quarters, pacing in front of the large windows near the furthest end of your room

you were still wearing your typical combat gear, though your hair disheveled and body language looking extremely anxious, he hoped it was not yours...

“What did you do this time?” Had asked the violet-eyed man, carelessly throwing his hat on your bed, lean arms folding across his chest.

No response.

“Excuse me, I believe I asked you a question.”

A loud irritable huff.

“Be quiet for once in your life, Scaramouche.” You hissed, anxiously biting at your nails. “Sorry- I’m just trying to calm down, but my heart can’t stop racing.”

Scaramouche wasn’t the most in-touch person with his feelings, and out of all the harbingers, he was one of the more difficult ones to deal with.

Surprisingly, he had shut up, despite finding it difficult to hold his malicious comment back.

“What’s wrong?” Your lover asked, more softly this time.

“My mission today was... hard. I know you said it’s important for missions to just be a one and done; no hard feelings. And you know I’ve always been that way. But this one was different.” His eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creasing in annoyance.

“I can’t help but think about what they did.”

“Did you get what you went for? I heard you sought after information regarding that Knight, Aether.”

“Yes, but-”

“I’d call that a successful mission,” He stared intensely, casually moving to sit on the comfort of your bed. Of course, he wouldn’t take this seriously. “Any casualties?”

“None of our men, but-”

“I don’t see the problem.”

“There were children, three little children, and those idiots just slaughtered them.”

“Ah... I see.”

Despite stating he understood, he really couldn’t sympathize with what you were saying. Those children were enemies as long as they worked against The Tsaritsa.

Your voice suddenly cut through the silence, staring directly into his eyes, “What if those were our children?”

“They weren’t.” Your eyes rolled at his comment.

“But what if!” He rolled his eyes, mocking your previous action.

“But they weren’t.” He mocked for a second time.

“You’re not helping, Scaramouche!”

“You’ll never understand, unless you see what I saw,” He knew you were right to some degree, but even then would he feel bad? A mission was a mission after all.

“They were begging me to protect them, and the youngest, she would not let go of my arm and then the next thing I knew, they were dead.” You continued, left hand going to grip your right, he assumed to show him where and how the said girl had gripped you. You were still shaking, this time being closer, he noticed how bad it was.

“They were pleading, I told them I would try my best, and then-” He had long ago stood, making himself present in front of you. His warm hands had grabbed your shaking ones harshly, ceasing the trembling momentarily.

“Please, be quiet,” The sixth harbinger snipped. “I don’t like seeing you upset.” Although it sounded harsh, he was trying his best to make it sound how he felt, even if those feelings were minuscule towards this specific topic.

“Although, I don’t agree with you about this particular concern of yours- I will do whatever you need to help you.”

Albedo

now, he may just be an alchemist, but trust me, Albedo sees the signs before anyone, he has some sort of familiarity with them due to his incessant reading

and it may have taken him longer to see the signs because of how busy he was, but he saw them

he was no fool to the likes of insomnia, in fact he knew it very well, often staying up very late into the night and morning, sometimes for days at a time

he was cooped up in his lab and it wasn’t as if his body wasn’t tired, cause hell he was, there was just s much more to learn and discover, his brain WOULD not stop,

Albedo hadn’t known how long this had been going on for, but he was seeing signs now

ngl, he didn’t notice that you hadn’t been sleeping properly until one night he decided to accompany you in bed earlier than usual (It was three a.m, yikes), and found that you were awake still

you were lying still on your side of the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that he reached over to kiss your cheek, only to see your eyes open, he would’ve assumed you were alright and asleep

“You’re awake?” The ashy-blonde man asked, sliding into bed next to you.

“Can’t sleep.” You shrugged nonchalantly, scooting closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort.

“You should’ve come to get me, I would’ve come to bed earlier with you.”

“It’s alright, I peeked in to see if you were still alive,” You joked, he chuckled. “You seemed very busy.”

“Yes, but, I thought I told you to remind me when you need attention, I often get sidetracked and enamored with my work.”

“It’s quite alright, Albedo. As long as you’re sleeping.”

He hummed, whispering tired words of adoration in your ear. That carried on for a while, as long as talking about the day's work and whatnot, until you eventually questioned, “Can I play with your hair?” The gesture was sweet, and that did sound amazing right about now since he was on the brink of sleep, but just needed that little push. But weren’t you tired?

“Aren’t you tired?”

You sat up, climbing behind Albedo, gently placing his head in your lap. “I’ll go after you.” A soft smile adorned your beautiful face. “You need sleep, you stay up for Archon knows how long.”

He selfishly allowed his eyes to close and waited for sleep to accompany him while you began untangling his two braids and ponytail. You played with and braided his hair until he’d fallen asleep as you said. You stayed up the rest of the morning though.

Eventually, probably out of boredom, you fell asleep for an hour or two around five a.m. Though, unfortunately, you were back up before six. You busied yourself while Albedo slept, starting with cleaning his lab. Albedo often did not like people touching his books, paperwork, and findings, but after instructing you how to properly take care of his stuff, he welcomed your help with open arms, seeing as though his lab was ALWAYS in shambles from not having enough time to take care of things himself.

Albedo surprisingly woke up around nine, wavy hair surrounding him like a lion, you chuckled to yourself at the sight. “How did you sleep?”

“Alright, considering my sleep schedule is nonexistent a lot of the time.” You nodded, bumping shoulders teasingly. “How about you?”

“Okay,” You said, immediately changing the subject. “I woke up early, so I cleaned your lab, I hope it’s to your likings, Kreideprinz.” You teased, bowing at the waist.

The alchemist waved you off, with a smile. “We’ll see about your organizational skills after you eat.”

How had he known?

“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Albedo asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

“That obvious.” You wondered trailing after him.

“You always wait for me, darling.”

“You look exhausted.” Albedo’s concerned voice cut in through the smooth Mondstadt breeze. You had been so distracted with the discovery in front of you, you hadn’t realized your boyfriend was staring directly at you. “When was the last time you slept?” He glanced back down at the discovery, still listening, but if you didn’t speak soon he’d be lost in his world again.

“A day or two, but-” Albedo probably got whiplash from how hard he’d snapped his head to face you, but now he was staring at you with features reading nothing but shock, cerulean eyes blown wide.

“I think your bad sleeping schedule is contagious.” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter-hearted. He didn’t laugh.

Albedo was more serious this time, proving it when he faced you completely. “What’s been going on?” His voice was soft, but he was extremely worried.

Nervousness built up in his lover's body. “Nothing! I just-” You sighed. Might as well tell him the truth, he’d coerce the answer from you no matter what it took. “It’s been harder to sleep after my injury from that ruin guard. When it hit me, I banged my head against the concrete, and ever since I guess it’s been hard to sleep.”

“You could've told me sooner. I would have stopped everything and anything for you.” Yes, that was true, that was the problem though. You didn’t want to be coddled like a baby

“I know, I’m not sure why I didn’t... Naturally, I don’t want to worry you.”

He moved closer to you so he could cradle your face in his hands. “You can always tell me anything you know that.”

“I understand that. You’re a busy man so-”

“From this moment on, my work will be dedicated to finding a cure for you.”

You panicked, not wanting to stop his work for the likes of what you were dealing with. “What? Wait no-”

“You can’t stop me, darling. You take precedence over everything.”

Albedo made it his goal to do whatever possible to help you. Whether it be spending days in his lab making concoctions in hopes of creating something that could safely aid you with sleep. Or he’s in the libraries, reading all the books on the wellness and health of humans. He’s already on top of it the minute you expressed your concerns. In the meantime, he’s going to make sure he goes to bed with you much earlier, and won’t go until you do, to ensure you’re resting.

We love sweet caretaker Albedo.

(I understand insomnia can have other causes, not just a mental or nervous breakdown, but it’s kind of implied when reader hurt her head that she’s not well.)

Childe

Childe is simply not going to know your not well, he just won’t, it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s more so the fact that he has a hard time paying attention to anything other than his missions and duties, he does not want to slow down

you have to show signs or tell him to realize

he decided to take a break though, seeing as he did promise you dinner tonight. he told you it would be his treat, since he did have a bunch of Mora lying around that he simply had no other use for

he figured a nice dinner and trip to one of the nicer cities with more to offer would be nice, he would buy you anything you desired

it was nearing the time for dinner though, and the reservations had already been made, so when he was left waiting, let's just say he was irked...

if you didn’t want to show up, you would’ve told him, so maybe you forgot? he concluded that couldn’t be it

the last time he’d brought it up, two days ago, you had been so excited you couldn’t sit still nor stop talking about it

asking a few people around town if you had been spotted anywhere, some said you had wandered off to Luhua Pool, something about there being a myth about special healing properties within the water

now he was even more confused

one, you NEVER went to Luhua Pool, there was never a need to do so

two, special healing properties? why would you need that? were you hurt in his absence?

you were his family, and he loved his family more than anything, so if something was wrong, he’d do whatever it took to help you

he traveled from Snezhnaya to Luhua Pool in record speed

he did find you eventually, the sun was setting, but thanks to the glowing water he could make your form out easily

you were hunched over, in what looked like to be some simple greenish cloth dress, he couldn’t see what you were doing, and called out your name

no answer

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” The orange-haired teen asked, crouching down beside his lover to see what was wrong.

“Cleaning.” You had said. That’s when his dull blue eyes traveled to what you were doing, watching with a confused stare as you scrubbed at what seemed to be clean hands.

“Hmm, I see...” He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not, you usually played along with his teasing nature. “Are you ready for dinner?”

“Was that really today?” Your head lifted, leaving your hands to momentarily hanging in the air, water droplets dripping off into the pool.

Okay... so you did forget it seemed, which did shock him seeing as though you were over the moon, less than seventy-two hours ago.

“Uh, yeah, did you really forget? That’s unlike you! I’ve learned women don’t forget anything.” He teased, hand going to his chin. You hummed, turning back to do whatever it was you had been previously.

The harbinger frowned. “Do you still want to go? We can make it if we’re fast.” You sounded like a robot, much like a ruin guard, he concluded.

“I’m sorry, not today, I’m dirty...”

Childe couldn’t help but chuckle, “Dirty? Sweetheart, you’re cleaner than most people I’ve seen, what’re you on about-”

“The blood, it’s stained my hands, can’t you see?” Even after holding your hands to show him, he saw nothing resembling blood.

“Are you playing games with me? Sure, it would’ve been funny any other day, not today though-”

“You don’t believe me?” You sounded hurt, but whatever was going on, he wouldn’t feed into these... false hallucinations. “The townspeople said the same thing, they called me crazy...” You scrubbed even harder at your hands, letting out a frustrated huff.

“I don’t see anything, I’m really sorry,” He said gently, reaching into the water to grasp your warm hands in his, “But if you continue to do that...I will see the blood.”

Childe was not sure what was going on, maybe some sort of PTSD? Although, he wasn’t sure where it could’ve come from... you’re not a harbinger or fatui, or anyone that is engaged in battle, etc. so it didn’t make sense. Unless something happened that decided to resurface now.

He immediately took you home, hand in his to keep you from further scratching your hands. On the journey, you often asked, “Why are you even touching me? There’s a lot of blood.”

He didn’t want to have to feed into whatever was going on, worried he’d damage you somehow, and he didn’t want to make you sound crazy, so instead he said, “Because I love you.”

When you both arrived home, he’d immediately laid you in bed, saying you appeared tired before going to search for a doctor.

Child will see every and all doctors in Teyvat and will pay whatever amount necessary to figure out what’s wrong, that’s for sure. Doesn’t take orders from the harbingers (not like he was anyways) and opts to stay close to you at all times.

He decided to keep his teasing to a minimum, though he found that sometimes things slipped out accidentally, he’d do anything in his power to help you.

1.18.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #childe #childe x reader #tartagalia #xiao #xiao x reader

2K notes · View notes

aoitrinity · 4 years ago

Text

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

3K notes · View notes

bettsfic · 4 years ago

Note

Hi betts! I hope you’re doing alright and that your semester is wrapping up smoothly. I have a question about genre, I guess? I’ll preface this with the fact that I am not a writer or lit person, but just an enthusiastic reader. But as I’ve been on Tumblr and TikTok (in this case BookTok), I’ve noticed that it’s a lot of the same kinds of books that people get obsessed over. Largely, SFF written by women and often in “new adult.” I’m thinking of V. E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, etc. I’ve read a number of these books and enjoyed some of them quite a lot, but they’ve never captivated me the way they do some. That’s fine, people have different tastes. But after being served yet another TikTok about this same category of book, I kinda realized that for some reason they just don’t feel that adult to me. Which is weird because they typically deal with very adult themes. Some are super sexual or violent and the like, but the way they’re written doesn’t feel mature to me. Even The Poppy Wars, which is very adult, falls into this category for me (I did enjoy this one, though). I’ve tried to interrogate this for bias, especially since I know a lot of people like them because they are written by women, (mostly) feature more diversity, and have large female audiences. But then I think about which books did feel adult, but fall in similar genres: N. K. Jesimin and Ursula Le Guin come to mind (even her youth fiction feels more adult to me). So I guess I’m curious what you feel makes a writing style more mature versus simply the content? Why is it that SFF, while often depicting adult events, doesn’t come across as mature? I guess my frustration is that it’s one of my favorite genres, but the recommendations I’m getting across many folks just...isn’t the SFF I want. How does one distinguish between these? Idk if I’ve expressed this well and I definitely am not trying to judge people. I’m just looking for a certain atmosphere in my reading that I find rarely.

i’m so excited i have an answer to this. so first i want to say, i experience this also and it’s why i struggle to get through a lot of books. it’s why i love the secret history but couldn’t get twenty pages into if we were villains, even though everyone told me they had a lot in common. even if the description of a book is compelling and the story is very much to my taste, and even if the writing is totally competent, i’ve found that sometimes there’s just something lacking that makes me set a book down and never pick it back up.

i was thrilled to find there’s term for this: the implied author.

the implied author was coined by wayne c. booth in his book the rhetoric of fiction which, while dense, is a really fantastic read (if you’ve been keeping up with my newsletter you know how feral i am for this book). as a blanket definition, the implied author is the space that exists between the narrator and the writer. when you read something, you can’t make any factual conclusions about the writer (the author is dead and all that), but the narration often tips you off to the idea that the consciousness behind the writing is wiser and knows more than the narrator.

that’s a very condensed version of booth’s definition, which takes up like 40 pages. here forward are some conclusions i’ve drawn based on it.

when the space between the narrator and implied author is narrow, some of us as readers tend to get bored pretty quickly. it’s what you’re referring to as maturity. however, when that space is wide, when it’s clear that the implied author is much, much bigger than the narration, that’s when i’m willing to sink my teeth into something. the wider that distance, the more i’m happy to ignore things like syntactical clumsiness or poor grammar. i would follow a good implied author into hell.

for example, i could write a story from the point of view of a violent abuser. if you were to read it, you wouldn’t be able to say for certain that i, the writer, was not a violent abuser also. but you would be able to tell via the implied author whether or not there is an awareness of the abuse, whether it’s being written with intentionality. not morality, mind you, but artistic purpose.

the implied author has an idiosyncratic relationship to the reader. sometimes depending on the complexity of the work and the critical reading skills of the reader, the presence of the implied author can be invisible. this is the catalyst, imo, to a significant amount of the present morality discourse. many (if not all) purity officers and antis don’t have the reading skills to be able to see the implied author, or that the moral trespasses that occur in fiction are written intentionally and for a purpose. they believe that anything depicted in fiction is advocating for or promoting that which it’s depicting.

lolita is kind of the ultimate classic example of the inability of some readers to see the implied author. nabokov even has a fictional preface from the pov of a scholar doing research, flat-out telling us that humbert is a bad guy and Do Not Trust Him. and yet, lolita has been misinterpreted and vilified for decades now.

in that same vein, the implied author is the reason that some stories put a bad taste in our mouths. it’s how we reach the conclusion that a story is racist or sexist or homophobic outside the literal depictions of racism, sexism, and homophobia. how can you witness racism taking place in a story and know that it’s speaking to the experience of racism and not advocating for racism? that’s the presence of the implied author. sometimes, though, you can’t tell. sometimes a writer tries to speak to the experience of something and fails at making clear their own awareness. or sometimes, they’re just not aware at all.

in fanfiction, the implied author takes place, in part, in the tags. i remember stumbling upon a fic written by a purity officer which depicted an extremely unhealthy, non-negotiated power dynamic. and none of it was tagged. i had no evidence the author was aware that they were even writing something “problematic.” obviously i support their right to depict whatever kind of relationship they want for whatever reason they want, but i did find it a bit off-putting, that this person who was a known harasser in fandom had no seeming understanding that they were writing the very kind of fic they were rallying against.

but, you know, my hands aren’t clean either. until the MFA, i was a very poor reader. for example, in 2010 i read the hunger games for the first time. in 2020 i re-read the series on my kindle, where all my annotations from 2010 had been saved, and so i got to see all my glaring misinterpretations of the text. every time katniss has to get dolled up in the capitol and made beautiful, i left a note like “ugh,” because i thought all depictions of performative femininity were Bad. even though thg is a YA book and i was an honors student in college, i was still unable to see that katniss’s beautifying was commentary on consumerism. i was oblivious to collins’ implied author, the presence in the book that is shaking you by the shoulders and going, THIS IS WHAT’S WRONG WITH SOCIETY.

but sometimes, like in your case, the opposite situation occurs: you the reader are wider than the implied author, and so some books have little to offer you in terms of depth or insight into the human experience. i don’t mean that to sound pretentious or anything; what i mean is, we all read at different skill levels and for different reasons, and we all get different things out of the stories we read. we’re all at different places in our reading lives, and we all have room to grow.

i hope i explained this clearly enough! hopefully one day i’ll be able to write a formal essay on this, because booth wrote about it in the 60s and a lot has happened in fiction since then.

#implied author #writing advice #Anonymous

978 notes · View notes

noir0neko · 4 years ago

Text

satan on the strip | m

“But parties of two are my favorite.”

rating: very mature

paring: jungkook x reader

includes: lots of sexual tension, also sex, praise!kink, pet names, magic, drinking, other nefarious behavior, a lot of sexual thoughts, maybe some biting and maybe some air play and begging and cursing and just,,, it’s mature content folks, proceed with caution

word count: 3.5k

a/n: Hi!!! It has been a hOT minute since I was here. I was just toasting some bagels this morning when this idea popped into my head and I knew I had to write it. Shoutout to bagels for giving me inspo, even though bagels are not in this fic in any way. If you would like to read along to what I was listening to when I wrote, here is the little playlist: “Miracle” by CHVRCHES. “Love on the Brain” by Rihanna, “Hypnotic” by Zella Day and “Locked Out of Heaven” by Bruno Mars. ENJOY! I am super happy to post something again!

“Come on!” Your friends try to flag you over to the dance floor from your very comfortable seat at the bar. You hold up your drink as an excuse and take a sip, letting the bitter liquid burn a path down your throat. They scoff and give you a dirty look, but continue dancing, throwing themselves around wildly to the music.

It’s the night of one of your best friend’s bachelorette parties, and of course, she wanted to have it in Las Vegas. And also of course, your ex boyfriend is the best man for her soon to be husband. And triple of course, they decided to crash the bachelorette party and you have now been watching another random girl grind on your ex for the past twenty minutes.

You take another drink, sighing heavily before turning back around to the bar.

“Long night already?” A voice says from behind you, deep and low.

You swing your head to the side, getting an eyeful of the very tall and very handsome man who has taken a seat at the bar. His hair is dark and straight, waving lightly over his forehead. His skin is pale, clear, and smooth, with eyes so bottomless and deep they almost look black. He is wearing a gray v-neck shirt with dark wash jeans that have rips in the knees, exposing more of his pale skin and you can’t help but notice he has bright red shoes on.

“I guess,” You shrug, taking another sip of your drink and moving it to the other side of your body. Just to be safe.

“I’ll take that it's going to be an even longer one, if your friends are all of the bachelorette girls.” He smiles with his straight teeth and full mouth. “Unless you just wanted to match with a bunch of random strangers for no reason.”

You sigh again, fingering the stupid sparkly sash around your dress with an absent finger. Your friends had insisted on wearing little black dresses and pairing them with ridiculously bright and glittering sashes that say different things. Luckily, yours is one of the more tame sayings, with “Wild Princess” printed on it in big cursive letters. You feel anything but wild. All you want to do is leave and crawl into bed with a book and sleep. Or maybe cry and try not to replay the image of your ex dancing with another girl and not giving a damn about you over and over again.

“I wish I was randomly matching,” You take another drink. “Sometimes a party of one is better than anything else.”

The mysterious stranger gives you a mischievous smile. “Parties of one are great. But parties of two are my favorite. Anything above that is just a crowd.”

You laugh despite myself, nodding along in agreement. Deciding to not sit and wallow all night, you place your hand in the space between you and introduce yourself. He takes your hand and electric currents run up your arms, pushing a shiver down your spine.

“I’m Jungkook.” He says, smiling again.

With his arm out, you can see the beginning of a tattoo curling around his bicep and under the sleeve of his shirt. Your eyes follow it, trying to decipher its long, coiling shape before he pulls back. His eyes seem alive and glowing, their almond shape crinkling in the corners as he looks at you.

You clear your throat. “What brings you here?”

“Oh you know,” he says vaguely, gesturing for the bartender. “Work.”

“This hardly seems like work,” you quirk an eyebrow.

“Semantics,” Jungkook chuckles. “I am in the entertainment business.”

He orders his drink, a clean bourbon, and then turns back to you, a secretive smile on his face. It’s like he can sense what you are going to say before it comes out of your mouth. “Movies?” You can totally imagine him in an action film.

He shakes his head.

“Television?” You guess.

He shakes his head again, thanking the bartender as he slides a drink along the counter.

“Music?” You try again.

“You’re getting warmer,” he leans in closer and you can smell the alcohol and musky scent of him. It’s almost more intoxicating than your drink. “Magic.”

“Magic?” You repeat, stupefied.

“Yes,” he sits back and your head clears. “Magic.”

“Like rabbits out of hats and throwing knives at spinning people?”

He seems to think for a second, as if actually considering your joke as a statement. “A bit more sophisticated than that, but yes. That’s the idea.”

You narrow your eyes at him, turning to face your body towards his. “Show me.”

“I don’t think you’re ready for the kind of magic I have, Princess.” He says slyly, eyes dipping to your sash again. You scoff, taking the sash off and placing it on the bar. His grin grows and he leans back into you.

You swear you can feel electricity sizzling in the space between you two, desperate to follow the high he’s bringing. “Show me,” you say again, a challenge in your voice.

“Alright,” his voice is so low you don’t know how you can hear him over the deafening music and yelling, but it’s as if there is no one else but you and him. “All of your friends are now wishing that they were in your place, when they were making fun of you for sitting here before. You wish you didn’t have to be here, but you are a supportive friend and know how much it would hurt if you left early. Your boyfriend over there is thinking about punching me and wants to know who I am and why you stopped being jealous to pay attention to me.”

You blanch, trying to discreetly look to the side to see the dance floor. You can see all of your friends out there, stealing glances your way in between steps and body rolls. You can see two of them giggling and whispering, wagging their eyebrows at you as they catch your glance. Then you see your ex, no longer with the woman from before, but making his way over from across the floor, his jaw set and eyes blazing.

His angry face.

Your stomach flips, but there is some smug satisfaction in his reaction as you turn back to Jungkook. He seems completely unaffected by your oncoming ex, but is staring directly at you. You think his eyes could burn you from the inside out if you let them.

“What do you want to do?” He asks, his word ricocheting deep inside of you.

“I want to leave,” you say, the words leaving your mouth before your brain can catch up. “Can we go?”

“Of course we can, Princess.” Jungkook smiles, standing up and offering you his arm.

You gather your things and join him, careful to not meet any of your friend’s eyes as you let Jungkook walk you towards the door. Hadn’t they been pushing you to hook up all weekend? Hadn’t they been throwing you at guys and giving guys your number since the party started? And even more because of the presence of your ex?

The thought of him makes you grin and you look back to find him staring after you, clenching and unclenching his fists in agitation. Your smile widens and you can’t help but wave at him as you leave. Fuck him.

You see your friends waving and jumping up and down excitedly, practically bouncing with happiness at the new development in your boring life. Jungkook’s arm is warm and hard around yours, static and heat pooling in the best parts of you. Close up, you can see the black lines and dots of his tattoo, but still can’t make out what it is. Your brain begins to question what you’re doing. This man is a complete stranger. And you’re in Las Vegas walking out of a bar with him. Every single horror film and terrible thing to happen to a woman always starts out this way. You start to rethink your choice, opening your mouth to tell him you’re going back.

“Spend an hour with me,” Jungkook says, snagging your attention and the words from your lips. The night air is hot still, the street loud and bustling with people walking to and fro.

“What?” You furrow your eyebrows.

“One hour,” he repeats. “Spend one hour with me. If you want to go back after that, I’ll bring you.”

“One hour?” You sound like a broken record.

One hour. What can happen in one hour in one of the most crowded places in the United States? You both can just walk around, maybe get some food. One hour only has sixty minutes, after all and on the strip, that time would go by impossibly fast. Not to mention, the last thing you realistically want to do is walk the strip alone or go back into the bar without Jungkook and with your tail between your legs. You know your ex would have a field day and your friends would be so pitiful. Maybe it is about time to get wild.

“One hour.” You say definitively. A statement this time.

Jungkook leans in and you smell him again, musky and hot. “Then, I am determined to make it the best hour of your life.”

His words bring fierce shivers down your spine. What have you gotten yourself into?

Before you know it, your predictions seem to come true. A half hour passes without notice as you and Jungkook walk in and out of hotels, restaurants and bars. Jungkook asks you about your life, your hobbies, and does little magic tricks for you along the way. Pulling pennies from behind your ears and predicting cards before the dealer draws them. You’re laughing and smiling and living and noticing how beautiful he is when he smiles. How dark his eyes are and how you want to stare into them forever. How perfectly his eyebrows frame his face and how his cheekbones and jaw make him seem carved out of marble.

“Have you ever thought about playing?” You ask him after you exit Caesar’s Palace. He had correctly guessed every single card before it was shown on the table and helped one of the players win big. Although it has to be well after 2 in the morning, the night is bustling and alive. Dancers are on the sidewalks in big feathers and bikini costumes, people dressed as Disney characters and superheroes are posing for pictures, and tourists are drinking and laughing and mingling with one another.

“No,” Jungkook laughs, secrets in the sound. “I don’t need money.”

“Doesn’t everyone need money?”

Jungkook looks at you, tilting his head to the side. “There are things money can’t buy.”

“Like what?” You ask.

“Purity,” Jungkook responds. And the answer is so weird you stop walking.

“Purity?” You put your hands on your hips, half mocking him. “Like chastity?”

Jungkook moves close to you, looking down at you with those deep and confusing eyes. Your lips are part of their own volition. You want to kiss him. You want to do a lot more than kiss him.

“Not chastity,” Jungkook looks wistful. Almost sad. “Heaven. The purity of it. When you fall, you can’t buy your way back in.”

Heaven. You think to yourself, looking at this man who seems to be a fallen angel himself. Beautiful and dark and full of magic, real or not, that pulls something buried deep inside of you and brings it to the surface. You hate how sad he looks, how regretful and reproachful. You want to ease his pain, you want to give him a slice of Heaven, a slice of the world, to see him smile and his eyes crinkle again.

And hell, if you don’t want to give yourself a piece of Heaven, of him, as well.

Without thinking, you pull him into an alley between hotels. The night is hot and starless, the smell of sweat and alcohol and lowered inhibitions in the air. You don’t feel fully in control of your body, letting instinct guide you and Jungkook into the dark narrow street.

“Time is almost up,” Jungkook reminds you.

You growl in response, not even sure you know how to make such a sound. Not sure where this all consuming emotion has come from. “I don’t care.”

Reaching out for him, you slam your bodies together and crash your lips onto his. You fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a long lost puzzle you didn't even know you’d been trying to solve. You push Jungkook’s hair back, catching a glimpse of small stud earrings in his ear. The jewelry is extremely sexy and you feel even more eager than you did before to feel him.

Taking more control, Jungkook pushes you back until you hit one of the walls. You can hear the laughter and sounds of people around you on either side of the alley, walking up and down the strip and drinking. It would be so easy for someone to look in and see you both, obviously involved in much more than an innocent kiss.

He touches you and you feel like you might break a part into a million little pieces. His touch is shocking, little fires trailing behind his fingers as they roam down the bare skin of your arms. Your back arches into the stone behind your head, a moan ripping from your throat when his fingers graze the skin of your neck. Jungkook is watching you with a feral gaze, licking his lips before leaning in to run his lips and teeth over your throat. You grip the front of his shirt, desperate to feel more. To feel everything.

Jungkook crowds you closer to the wall, aligning his body to press against yours. You can feel the rises and plains of his muscle and frame through your thin dress. Your breasts peak with anticipation, a tingling sensation building low in your stomach. Jungkook hooks his hands around your thighs, the feeling of his bare skin on yours eliciting a string of curse words from your mouth. You’re ready to beg him to touch you where you need it.

Luckily you don’t have to.

Once he has you firmly against the wall, with your legs hooked around his midsection, he curves his arm around your leg and lets his fingers graze you. There is nothing blocking his touch and the contact and slickness of you seems to shock him.

“No underwear?” He nearly growls.

“It’s a matching thing,” you all but pant.

“It’s a naughty thing, Princess.” Jungkook responds, pressing his thumb directly into you. “How could I not tell before?”

You ignore his statement, aware that you’re unable to question anything he does right now. His thumb begins to move and you moan, burying your head in the crook of his neck to muffle the sound. Jungkook’s other hand weaves through your hair, pulling you back against the wall so the sounds you emit echo against the narrow alley walls.

“I want to hear you,” he commands.

“But the people,” you begin to protest, knowing that even you don’t care.

“They can’t hear or see us,” he responds, a grin carving a wicked look to his features. “Like I told you: magic.”

Without warning, Jungkook slides two fingers into you, dragging the longest and deepest sound from your throat. Your hips are trying to move, begging for more friction, but he won’t give it to you. He has his body flush against yours on the wall. In complete control. You fucking love it.

His hair curls with sweat, the strands sticking to his forehead. The moisture seems to make him sparkle and glow. Like an angel on Earth. Maybe a fallen angel. He curls his fingers and strokes you, your walls clenching around his fingers with delicious pleasure.

“Shit,” he curses, sliding his fingers out. “I need to be in you. Now.”

You whine in agreement, the intensity in his words making your toes curl. Jungkook reaches in between your bodies to undo his belt, long and nimble fingers making quick work on the clasp. You want him to do wicked and horrible things with those fingers, and that belt. You want him to tie you down and make you beg for every lick of pleasure he could give you. Wild desperation begins to build in you. You could cum just from watching him. Just from seeing that pink tongue of his lick across his lips.

“Jungkook,” you groan, watching him pull his cock out.

The rational part of your brain is aware that you are both in public, with hundreds of people walking by the alley every minute. The rational part of you is aware that you can get arrested for this. That this is dangerous and irresponsible on so many levels. But the louder and reckless part of you never wants this to end. The irrational part of your brain believes him, trusts him, and trusts his magic. No one has noticed yet. Maybe luck. Maybe magic. You don’t care.

And then he is poised at your entrance and pushing into you in one, long, thrust. Your moans are incessant, no breath between the sounds. You can feel him at the back of you, you can feel him everywhere, filling you up and intoxicating you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he is groaning, deep and dark and raw.

He moves again, in and out, following an untraceable rhythm that is setting you on fire. You have never felt this alive before, this electrified, everything is you is singing with approval and building with pleasure. You didn’t know sex before this, you didn’t know how good it could feel before this. How can you ever be with anyone besides him now?

He’s going to fuck you and leave you fucked for the rest of your life.

Jungkook claims you in a kiss, his tongue roaming your mouth. He swallows your moans and sounds with shivers. Your hands reach under his shirt and travel along the rigid muscle of his stomach and shoulders. His body seems to come alive beneath the touch, skin rippling and muscle contracting.

You can feel his large intake of breath along your lips. You don’t think you’ve heard him sigh until now, or breathe at all for that matter. It’s like he has never taken air into his lungs before you touched him. And now you can’t stop. Your fingers are everywhere as he continues to fuck you. Wild. This is wild.

“Don’t stop,” you beg, breaking the contact of the kiss for breath.

Jungkook’s eyes are touching you as they roam around your face, down your neck and collarbones, over your breasts and stomach, until they settle on the point where your bodies are joined. His skin is slick with sweat. His eyes are burning with passion. The muscles of his back and taut, signaling he feels as close as you do to release.

He reaches between you and begins to rub your clit in small circles. That’s it. You’re gone. You’ve sunk so deep, you know there’s no coming back. You splinter and break a part around him, milking his cock with tight spasms until you feel him cum, as well. You cum for what feels like forever, moaning and writhing and shaking at his touch.

Jungkook’s teeth are grazing at your throat and he bites gently. You think you’re going to cum again, moaning and arching up to give him more access. He’s still in you, despite the cum you feel dripping around him and coating your thighs. Jungkook’s lips curve up and he pushes his teeth deeper into the base of your throat. You feel a sharp sting and then warm, hot blood is dripping down your collarbones and between your breasts. Jungkook lets out a gasp as your blood fills his mouth, swallowing the thick liquid like he’s a man dying of thirst. His eyes are glowing, his skin is glowing, and you swear the tattoo on his arm stretches itself out, like it's waking up after a long sleep.

“You,” he says, capturing you in a long searing kiss. You can taste your own blood. You can taste your own desire, still throbbing deep and low after he’s satisfied you. “You are my princess.”

And then, just as quickly as you were there, you’re gone. Swallowed up by a black so endless and so deep you’re not sure you’ll ever resurface. Like realizing you’ve sunk too far in the deep end of the pool and wondering if you’ll make it out. Like falling asleep and hoping you don’t wake up. And consciously, dangerously, eerily, like the color of his eyes.

You’ve met Satan on the strip.

And your hour is now eternity.

----------------------

~Admin Eggplant

1K notes · View notes

hellcaster901 · 4 years ago

Text

Never Been Better

The Mandalorian x Reader

Second part to What Now?

Summary: It’s an unspoken tension between the two of you after what happened on the Razor Crest.

Word Count: 8,454

Warning(s): SMUT!! (Again, please be safe, wrap it before you tap it, this is (again) just a fanfiction), some language, the usual smut (cream pie, oral-male receiving). Did some edits, but again, if you find something just act like you didnt see it.

A/N: I can’t stop thinking about this man, Pedro Pascal has my heart and so does the Mandalorian. I want to give a shout out to my best friend @13dead-ends we’ve been on the phone for hours for the past couple nights just writing and figuring things out. She is a new author to tumblr so please go get her a follow and I promise you she’s coming out with wonderful (and smutty) works! I hope you guys enjoy the second part to ‘What Now?’!!!!

Masterlist

What Now? (Pt 1) Say Something (Pt 3)

“Are you sure it’s okay to be here?” You hum, watching as Mando lowered the ship onto the planet, the land becoming bigger as he grew closer to the land.

“Its outer rim. Aprliria doesn’t exactly hold a lot of criminals.”

With a slight jolt, Mando landed the ship, your eyes staring at the vast land of green grass and tall trees. For a while now, it’s been jumping from planet to planet looking for the Child’s kind, but with each planet, it left us more and more confused about if we were even on the right track. There was hardly anyone who knew what kind of creature the Child was, much less knew what planet would hold such a creature. Even if you knew where this planet was, you weren’t too sure Mando would even go. He’s grown fond of the child, the child himself looking at Mando as it’s father. The two of them had a bond that nothing could break, the Child was a part of Mando’s life, and leaving him was something the Mandalorian wasn’t sure he could do.

You watched silently as Mando’s hands glided along the dashboard, landing the ship perfectly. The Child watched with wide eyes from his crib as he waited for the next movement.

“Sweet thing.” You smiled, reaching for the greenling. He cooed at you as you picked him up, standing from the seat and resting the Child on your hip. “Are you ready to look around?” You whispered to him. He only let out a small squeal, answering your question. You only giggled, watching out of the corner of your eye as Mando turned in his chair, facing the two of you. “How long are we going to stay here?”

“As long as we need.” He answered, standing from his seat, the Child stared up at him, his hands reaching for him. Mando reached up, both of you watching as the Child wrapped his small hand around one of the Mandalorian’s fingers. You watched with a small smile, looking up at Mando, he tilted his helmet towards you, his eyes connecting with yours.

It always felt like the air was ripped from his lungs when he looked into your eyes. Or at least hoped that he was. The way your eyes shined in the light, how wide and full of life they were. Ever since that night of passion, things were definitely different. Both Mando and you knew that things couldn’t go back to how they were, neither of you wanted that, but it was hard to label what’s between you two when the two of you didn’t even know what to call your ‘relationship’. It was unspoken what was going on, but a few things have changed. Longer glances at one another, small touches that lit both of your bodies on fire, and nights that the two of you shared together.

It started to become a routine, the way Mando would lay awake in the middle of the night and hear you shuffle into his room, crawling into his bed and making yourself comfortable. At first it was he’d wake up to you sleeping by his side, curdled next to him with the blanket over your face, respecting Mando’s creed. When you’d wake up, he’d already be working on the ship, neither of you speaking about the previous night. What turned into once in a while, turned into every other night which turned to every night that you’d shuffle into his room, curling beside him and falling asleep. He didn’t mind, in all actuality, that’s what he waited for each night, to hear you shuffle into his room, your bare feet cautiously slapping against the metal of the ship looking for the cot and it dipping from your weight as you made yourself comfortable next to him. Mando was sure to keep his helmet on, not wanting to break his creed, but each time the room was pitch black, sheltering him from your gaze, and each morning he was gone before you were awake. You noticed the helmet, wondering if you should say anything about this unspoken routine, if it was too uncomfortable, but you figured if it was something Mando didn’t want, he would’ve said something by now. As the nights went on of you sleeping with him, you began to notice that he no longer wore his helmet to bed (as you stubbed your toes on it one night) trusting that you wouldn’t look.

You weren’t sure why you started going to sleep with him. One night you were up, your body refusing to go to sleep, your mind too active. Thoughts of the child and Mando filling your head, and no matter how hard you tried, sleeping wasn’t an option. The decision to go to Mando was a difficult one, you weren’t sure if he was gonna tell you to go back to your own cot, or blow up at you, or what. It was a chance you were honestly willing to take. That night that you tiptoed to his room, you noticed he kept his room dark, hiding his identity from anyone or anything that could come and see him. You slipped into his bed, pulling the blanket over your head and like a light switch, you were out. After that night, neither of you spoke about it, leaving it almost like a secret between the two of you. A secret from who? No idea, but it was a secret you were excited to have.

Mando couldn’t help himself when he reached for you, his gloved hand cupping your cheek. He watched as your eyes widened, your lips parted as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, taking in your beauty. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling for you, it was a strong feeling he hasn’t felt for a long time, something that made him nervous. Nothing really made him nervous anymore, and the fact that you made him feel like that scared him.

“We should find some lounging.” Mando spoke up, pulling his hand from your face, the warmth leaving with him as your cheek grew cold. With a swift nod, you turned from him, grabbing the small messenger bag and nestling the Child inside, looping it over your shoulder.

The walk towards the small town was filled with silence, Mando keeping an eye and ear out for danger, if that was even possible on this planet, but also trying to rack through his own thoughts. You on the other hand, it was clear that something was on your mind, and that something was the man covered in beskar armour that made you feel boneless little less than a month ago. It was hard not to think about that time against the cold metal, the way he grabbed you, felt inside you, everything about that time was branded in your memory, and it was something that you couldn’t forget. What you couldn’t forget the most was that he took his helmet off, for you. Even if you had to keep your eyes shut, the action itself was enough to make your heart swell with the possibility that there was something more there than sexual feelings. Of course there was, he wouldn’t be letting you crawl into his bed every night or leave the small touches like he did just a few moments ago. It was the matter of talking about what this was, that scared you, and him even.

Things definitely changed, that was undeniable, it was the fact that you had to address it that made it difficult.

In a short period of time the three of you made it to the small town, it being more active than the past towns you’ve been to. People walking through the crowds of people to shops, other folks just sitting at the tables enjoying the sunlight. It was a town that was very much alive. The people wore bright colored clothes, all enjoying one another’s company. They must’ve been new to visitors as they stared the two of you down. But no one made a move to figure out where you came from, they kept their distance.

You reached down for the little flap on the bag, lifting it and seeing the Child staring back up at you. “Whatcha doing?” You giggled, reaching in and tickling his chest. He only cooed, wiggling in the bag. “Okay.” You laughed, stopping in your tracks and reaching in. “Keep within my eyesight.” You mumbled, setting him down onto the gravel. He cooed loudly, wobbling towards Mando. You followed close behind, watching as the Child caught up to Mando, his small hand wrapping grabbing onto the dark cape. An amused smile grew on your face as you watched Mando turn around, his neck bending to see the Child staring up at him, his small green hands grabbing onto his leg. “Rather have you hold him than me.” You chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest. Mando glanced at you for a moment before reaching down and grabbing the Child, lifting him into his arms.

“Lets go.” He huffed. On the inside you knew that he loved this, the bond he had with this creature, he was just too tough to be open about it. With a smile, you followed, watching as the Child was staring at everyone and everything, taking in the life. Shortly you got to the small lounging, watching as Mando handed the Child back to you, heading up to talk to the owner for a room. You stood a few feet away, looking out at the crowd of people that were starting to gather further down the main street. You watched with a curious look, hearing Mando talk to the woman, trying to negotiate on a price for the room. Always trying to talk down the price. With a huff, Mando paid for the room, leaving the woman at the counter with a scowl on her face.

“Hey,” You softly spoke, glancing over at the woman. “What’s exactly going on here?” She sighed, leaning forward and staring down at the crowd of people.

“A festival, it's the beginning of the new season, it’s something to celebrate.” You nodded, listening to the woman. “It’s mostly a festival to be grateful for life.”

“That’s fun.” You smiled, looking back at the woman, she wasn’t smiling, just staring at you with a scowl. The smile fell from your face, wondering what Mando said to the woman to make her so mad. “Have a great one.” You hurried, looking forward, seeing Mando waiting. With a sheepish smile you caught up, following as he guided you towards the lounging.

He swung the door open, revealing two makeshift cots, and a window at the back of the room. It wasn’t the best option, but it was obviously better than what you had going on back on the ship. Mando didn’t say a word as he stepped inside, looking around. With a sigh, you set down the Child, watching as he waddled inside, making himself at home instantly as he explored the small room. You stepped in, closing the door behind you choosing the cot furthest away from the door, sitting down and watching the Child happily make his way around the room.

“Did you hear what that woman said about what's going on?” you started, questioning yourself as to why you even started talking. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mando walk over to the window, glancing out. His helmet tilting slightly towards you, a sign that he was listening. “It’s apparently a festival for the new season that's coming for the people.” You explained, turning and facing the bounty hunter. “A festival to be grateful for life as well.” You smiled, watching as he looked at you. It was hard to see what he was thinking about, hard to know what he looked like as he stared at you. You tried to pick up on any gestures he would do, hoping it would help you figure out what he was going through but sometimes you were still as confused as you were before.

He said nothing, only crossed the room and sat on his cot, beginning to mess with his beskar. You bit the inside of your cheek, wondering if you should talk again or just leave it be and let him do what he needs to do.

“Would you like to walk around and see?” The modulated voice rung. You were honestly shocked that he said something, much less asking if you wanted to see what was going on. You thought if anything he’d want to stay low, leaving for dinner on the first day and seeing if this planet really is as safe as he thought it was.

“Can we?” You whispered, patiently waiting like a child as he thought things over. He turned his heads towards you, his eyes looking over your excited form, the smile on your face as you thought about the festival. At that moment, he realized he could never say no to you.

***

Mando stayed a distance behind, watching as you walked through the crowds of people, The Child in the bag that hung on your hip, the flap open for him to sit and watch without trying to keep up with the two of you. He kept a close eye on the two of you, nothing else catching his eye as the three of you walked, wanting to make sure nothing happened to the two of you. He watched as you watched the people celebrate, your eyes gleaming as you saw the people dancing to the music he was sure you’ve never heard of. The face of pure curiosity on your face was enough to make his heart tug.

Things were different, he didn’t talk about things because he wasn’t sure how to explain himself. That night, with you changed everything to him. He knew there was something there, there always was. The way he would catch you staring at him, or the way his heart would pick up as he got closer to the Razor’s Crest after he would catch a bounty. It was subtle things that he knew the both of you would pick up on, and that night changed it all. He cleared his throat, trying to steer his mind away from imagining that night once again. It was something he couldn’t stop thinking about. The way you gave yourself to him, the way you felt around him, he needs more.

He had to control himself.

The festival, the colors, the music and the people were all new to you. It was something unlike anything you’ve ever seen before in your life. It was a bit overwhelming. You looked down at the Child, watching as his wide eyes were staring at everything as well. You were sure the two of you looked alike, a pure look of excitement at the new things. You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes instantly landing on Mando as he followed close. You wondered if he was enjoying this just as much as you were. But you were sure he’s seen things like this all the time. You weren’t exactly too sure, he never spoke of past travels. He really never spoke to you about anything. Shaking your head, you tried to focus back on the festivities that were going on. Most of it was just dancing, the people enjoying the music and moving.

You gasped softly as you felt a small hand wrap around your wrist, tugging softly. Glancing down, you noticed a small child staring up at you, wide eyes, a smile on her face and sweat on her forehead. Her eyes kept flickering back and forth from you to the child quickly. I chuckled softly, crouching down, grabbing the Child in the bag and lifting him. “You can say ‘hi’.” I smiled, watching as her eyes got even wider. The Child cooed, lifting his hands to her, his little green fingers tickling her face. She giggled loudly, her hands going in excitement as she watched the Child. He cooed loudly, his arms going as he saw her own happiness. She calmed a bit, reaching into her pocket and pulling a beaded necklace. You smiled softly as you watched her look up at you, asking for silent permission. You nodded, watching as she lifted the beads up, the small string landing around his neck. Her smile grew, looking up at me with happy eyes. She reached back into her own pocket, pulling another string of beads out. She held it out to you, a wide smile on her face. With a smile, you ducked down, feeling the beads glide against your hair, and settling around your neck. You leaned back up, reaching and pulling your hair from under, the cool beads settling on the back of your neck. You looked over at Mando, smiling widely at him. Again, nothing.

As you walked around and looked at everything the day slowly turned to night, the people of the planet were still going strong and dancing almost like they haven’t been dancing for the whole day. As the day went on, you noticed people were setting up strings of lights or torches for the people to still see as it got darker, lighting up the festivities. Mando was getting closer and closer as it was getting darker, keeping close as we walked.

“He’s asleep.”

Your head whips around, looking up at Mando as he looks straight ahead. “What?” You watched as he looked at you, before glancing down at the bag. You looked down, a soft ‘awe’ leaving your lips. The Child was fast asleep, the necklace the little girl gave her held tightly in his hands. “I think we should get back.” You whispered, looking up at him. With a swift nod he turned, leading the way back. You followed, reaching a hand down to the Child, his arms stretching out, before holding onto your hand.

You kept close to Mando, watching the way even as the people were enjoying their time, they were still moving out of the way for the bounty hunter.

“I’m sorry I dragged you around all over this planet.” You spoke, glancing up at Mando. “I wanted to see what a festival was really like.” He nodded, still keeping his pace as the two of you walked back to the room. There was a tense silence between the two of you, an unspoken ‘thing’. And both of you knew what that was.

Once back to the room, Mando quickly turned his back to you, working quietly on his beskar once again. You sighed softly, closing the door and walking over to your own cot. You softly pulled the Child out from the bag, his limp body heavier than you realized. You looked around the room, wondering if there was anything you could make a little cot with, but the blankets and items were things that the Mando and you would be using. With a heavy sigh, you gently laid the Child onto your cot, his little head sinking into the pillow. You chuckled softly as you grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, making a wall out of the blanket for him to stay in. You curled up besides the Child, resting your head on your arm as you looked over the strange creatures’ features. In a few short moments, the tiredness of walking around the festival soon encased you, leaving your eyes heavy as you fell asleep next to the child.

As it grew darker, and as you soon were asleep next to the Child, Mando found this the perfect time to take off his beskar. He knew he could trust you as he removed his helmet, setting it down besides him on the cot, removing the weight of his armour until he was in his pants and shirt. He slowly leaned back, the weight of the day present as his back strained from being in constant movement, his back popping in places that made him groan as he laid there.

He heard the small snoring coming from you, turning his head and noticing the outline of your body in the dark, the way he wanted to feel the dips and curves of your body as you laid on your side. His mind was racing from remembering what you felt like under his hands that night, how soft you were, the way you gave yourself up to him. He only stares, thinking about you. The way you took care of the child, the way you took care of him. He wasn’t used to having someone there who really wanted to be there. It’s always been only him, and the fact that these two came into his life was… overwhelming, but not unwanted. He was content with watching over the two of you, knowing you both needed the sleep from the excitement today. Mando rarely needed the full 8 hours of sleep, needing only a couple hours to feel energized. But he wasn’t complaining, he was able to watch you and the Child.

He laid there, letting his mind race from what he was going to do about the Child, if finding it’s kind was the right choice. Of course it was, to keep him if they do find his people would be a selfish choice, but he wasn’t sure if that’s what he could do.

His breath hitched lightly as he saw your body move, groaning as you twisted your body around, your back now facing Mando. He froze, knowing the room was dark enough that you couldn’t see his face, but he was more worried about her waking up and noticing Mando watching her. He only watched as you groggily sat up, a hand coming out to rub at your eyes as you adjusted to waking up. You looked over at the child, fixing the blanket that was disheveled from his movement and then stood up. Mando watched as you moved, standing from the bed, arching your back as you stretched, moaning softly as your own back popped.

The soft moans had chills running down Mando’s back, hearing them once again was something he wasn’t sure he’d ever hear again. He noticed the way you glanced over at him, looking at his legs rather than his upper half. He noticed the way you kept his creed, even when you thought he was asleep. He watched as you walked towards the window, moving the curtains out of the way, looking at the crowds of people still celebrating.

“How long have I been asleep?” You whispered to yourself, still standing there as you watched the people.

“Only a couple hours.” You froze in your spot, the unfiltered voice responding to your question. You instantly lifted a hand to your eyes, the curtain slipping from your hand, as you backed away from the light.

“I’m so sorry Mando, I didn’t realize you didn’t have your-”

“It’s fine.” He spoke, watching the way you still covered your eyes, your back to him. He felt his lips turn into a smile, watching the way you just stood there, trying to figure out what to do without seeing him. “It’s dark enough.” He spoke again, watching the way you still stood there, covering your eyes until you slowly let your hand drop. He watched as the light from outside bled through the thin curtain and onto your face, highlighting every detail on your face, and he knew that you were the most beautiful person he has ever seen in his whole life.

“I don’t want you to break your creed, Mando.” You spoke softly, eyes still shut.

“I won’t.” He spoke softly, wondering at that moment if breaking his creed for you was a bad thing. But you kept your eyes shut, not trusting that the room was dark enough. You heard the cot shift, hearing Mando’s footsteps coming closer and closer. You tensed, not bothering to take another breath as you heard him get closer and closer. “You won't break it.” He whispered, grabbing onto your wrist lightly. You let him guide you away from the window, the light that was once shining on your face soon fading until there was only darkness. You couldn't stop the chills that ran down your back as you felt Mando’s thumb softly rub against the inside of your wrist as he guided you. It was such a small act, but there was so much intimacy behind it. At least, for you.

“I don’t want to open my eyes.” You whispered to him, letting out a breath you were holding the whole time.

“You don’t want to see me?” You could hear the teasing tone and the smile on his face, something you were grateful to hear without the helmet blocking his voice.

“Of course I do.” You whispered again, trying not to wake the child up. “But I can’t lose your trust.” There was a bit of silence, your words lingering in the air as you waited for Mando to say something. You waited for his voice, only hearing the soft noises coming from the Child as he slept and the people that were still celebrating. “Look,” you stared, letting your mind run a mile a minute, the anxiety of everything between the two of you rushing out, “I’m sorry if I did anything that you didn’t like or if any of this wasn’t what you-”

You gasped loudly as you felt Mando wrap an arm around your waist, tugging you roughly against his chest. In a swift move, he turned the both of you around, your back landing softly on the cot, Mando holding himself up above you, your hands against his chest as the two of you laid like that for a moment, the world stopping around you as you tried to control what was going on.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He whispered to you, his hand pushing away some hair that fell over your face, tucking it gently behind your ear. To say you forgot how to breath was an understatement, you were sure that you had died and that this was simply heaven for you. His fingers slowly trailed down your jaw, tracing the curve as the roughness of his fingers left goosebumps down your arms. He saw the way his touch made you react, and it only made him want to see more of it, forgetting how addictive it was to see you in this state. His fingers moved lower, trailing down your neck, his fingers outlining the edge of the shirt you wore. “You never could.” He whispered lowly. It was low enough that you weren’t sure if it was meant for you or for himself, either way, it was enough to make a light blush appear on your face and chest.

You kept your eyes shut, basking in the feeling of his fingers as he softly touched your neck and face. You listen to his breathing as he took his time tracing your features, taking in the feeling of his fingers as the two of you laid there. “Mando.” You whispered, feeling his fingers still for a moment until they continued their journey. He slowly trailed them to your lips, his calloused fingers tracing over them. You could feel his eyes as he followed his own fingers. “Mando.” You whispered again. “Kiss me.” Within a second, there was no turning back.

He grabbed the back of your head, pulling you up to him as you felt his lips crash against yours, his facial hair scratching against your skin as your lips moved together. Your hands grabbed at his shirt, pulling him even closer (if that was possible), wanting to feel his entire weight on you as you tasted him. His other hand caressed your side, his fingers digging softly into your hip before he grabbed the back of your knee, lifting it up and over his hip as he settled himself between your thighs. You gasped against his lips as you felt his bulge rub against your clothed center, the noise you made only spurring Mando on even more. He pulled away, his lips swollen as he tried to catch his breath, watching the way your own chest was heaving, the soft, sweet noises leaving your lips as he stayed above you. You felt his hands grab at your waist, his hands slowly pushing the flimsy shirt you wore up, exposing the skin he’s already seen. He watched the way your chest rose and fell a bit quicker, the way you gradually sounded more and more out of breath from just his small touches. As he got to your breasts he stopped, the shirt bunched up, your stomach exposed to him, his hands resting on your rib cage. It felt like an eternity as you both waited for the next move. “Please, Mando.” You begged softly, wanting more and more each second. He couldn’t refuse. He yanked the shirt off of you, your hair spiraling around you as he pulled the shirt off. You grabbed his hands, impatient with how slow he was taking things and guided his hands to your boobs, his hands greedily grabbing, a low moan coming from Mando as he felt the soft skin.

He was rough as he pulled down the cups of your bra, his head ducking instantly as he latched onto a nipple, his tongue flicking against the hardened skin. You moaned softly, arching your back, Mando’s arm wrapping around you a bit tighter, pulling you even closer to his mouth. You clawed at his back, gathering at his shirt, pulling it to his shoulders. “Take it off.” You mewed, feeling Mando pull away from you. Mando tugged the shirt over his head, tossing it across the room. He notices the way you didn’t react, your hands laying still on his hips. You still had your eyes closed. He hovered above you, resting his weight on his forearms as he softly pressed his lips against yours.

“Open your eyes.” He whispered against your lips, peppering kisses along your cheeks and chin.

“Your creed.” You whispered back, feeling the way his facial hair scratched your skin. “I don’t want to-”

“Open your eyes.” He repeated, his tone a bit more stern this time. You took a deep breath, your eyes fluttering open. You were surprised with how dark it actually was in the room. You couldn’t see his facial features, but you could see the outline of his body above you. You reached for him, your hands caressing up his arms to his shoulders, feeling the muscles flex slightly, the healed skin from previous wounds brushing against your hand. He let you touch him, his own breathing quickening as you moved your hands down his chest. Unlike last time, you wanted to take a bit more time. You shoved against his shoulder, rolling the two of you over, straddling his hips as he let out a huff as he settled against the cot. He grabbed onto your hips as you settled yourself on top of him, his fingers digging softly into your skin.

The two of you didn’t say anything as you planted your hands on his chest, letting your hands roam around searching for scars. You felt his chest rise quickly as you started roaming, feeling the slight chest hair that was scattered along his skin. With it being so dark, you went with your touch, finding the scars and tracing a finger along them, wondering how he got each one. As you continue your travel, you touch one particular long scar, that starts near his hip bone, and ends at mid torso. You fixated on this scar, your fingers tracing over it over and over again. “How did you get this one?” You asked, feeling the new skin that grew. You felt Mando sigh, his hands moving down to your thighs, before moving back up to your hips.

“Bounty got a bit carried away when I located him.” He answered. You didn’t think you could ever get used to his voice without the helmet, the sound alone making you weak above him. You took a deep breath, leaning down peppering soft kisses along his chest, softly licking along the scars that you met along the way as you traveled down his chest. You heard the small gasps leaving his mouth as you got lower and lower, straddling his legs as you kissed along the longer scar, feeling his hands push back some of your hair that fell forward. You kissed along the band of his pants, feeling him twitch against the fabric as you edged closer to the edge, teasing him. You licked a strip from his hip bone to his stomach, Mando moaning as the air hit it, sending goosebumps up his body.

“Y/N.” He warned, feeling your lips turn up in a smile against his stomach, your fingers dancing along the waistband of his pants. You hooked your fingers along the band, tugging softly. Mando quickly got the hint, lifting his hips as you tugged the pants harshly down, his erection slapping against his stomach, a bead of precum slowly leaking from the tip. You fumbled for a moment as you pulled his clothing off, tossing them on the floor before you seated yourself between his legs. “You don’t-”

“Shh.” You whispered, smiling to yourself softly. You nervously pressed your hands against his thighs, feeling more scars as you moved them up, feeling the way he flexed against your touch. You noticed the way you felt the blanket on the cot shifted, his hands bunching at the blanket as you moved closer and closer to your target. You wrapped a hand around his length, Mando grunting as you squeezed your hand around him, the velvety skin feeling foreign but not unwelcome as you moved your hand up. Mando was obviously a bit larger than what you expected, even with sleeping with him the first time, it was still a surprise with how large he felt in your hand, the girth of him making you nervous. “You’re so big.” you whispered to yourself, a smile on your face when you heard Mando moan softly at your words. You leaned forward, giving his length an experimental lick.

Mando gasped loudly, his hips rising as you pulled away. You smiled, his reaction only wanting you to hear more from him. You made yourself comfortable between his legs, leaning forward again and sucking the tip between your lips. He grunted as he felt the warmth of your mouth, his hands clenching onto the blanket a bit tighter as he felt your tongue flick at the tip. You moaned softly, tasting the precum that coated your tongue, the salty taste making you clench around nothing. You were positive that you were soaked, squeezing your thighs together as you slowly took more and more of Mando’s cock in your mouth.

Mando was on the brink of exploding. All he wanted as to grab the back of your head and fuck your throat. As rough as it sounded, that’s all he wanted was to hear you gag around him, and to feel your throat tighten around him. But he stopped himself, grabbing at the blanket under him, focusing on the feeling of your mouth around him. He watched as you slowly started bobbing your head, feeling you take more into your mouth, the tip of his cock lightly hitting the back of your throat. He bucked softly at the sensation, making you gag around him. He growled loudly, the sound sending chills right down his back.

To your surprise, you liked it.

You pulled back with a loud gasp, twisting your hand around his cock, spreading your spit around him, the wet sound adding to the soft pants that filled the room. Mando’s length twitched in your hand, his hips bucking as you stroked him, your thumb brushing along his tip, watching the way he gasped. You brushed some hair back over your shoulder, leaning back down and sliding his cock back in your mouth. “Fuck.” Mando cursed, his hand flying to the back of your head, his hand grabbing at your hair as you gagged around him, moaning softly as he tugged on your hair. Your scalp stung as he tugged on the strands, his hand gathering your hair to a makeshift pony. “Feels so good.” he rasped, the sound shooting straight to your core. You wanted to hear these sounds coming from him for the rest of your life. Seeing him like this, on his back and so vulnerable to you, made you want to be on your knees for him whenever he wanted. You bobbed your head a little faster, wrapping your hand around what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. “Maker.” He growled, his body tensing beneath you. “Stop. Stop.” He rasped, pushing gently at your shoulders, his cock slipping from your lips, a string of saliva trailing behind as you took a deep breath in, licking your swollen lips.

“Did I-” You barely got a sentence out before Mando pushed himself up, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you towards him, kissing you with a passion that made your whole body weak. Mando didn't say a word as he reached behind you, unhooking the flimsy material and tossing it across the room, grabbing your hips and tugging you on top of him, your breast pressed tightly against his chest. He pawed at your thighs, his short fingernails scratching against the tight material as he pulled you impossibly close to him. You gasped as you felt his length rub against your clothed center, trapping his throbbing length between your bodies. He held you against him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, hands weaving into his thick hair, kissing him with a passion that only he was able to pull from you.

“I wanna feel you when I cum.” He whispered against your lips, dragging his lips against your cheek as he left open mouth kisses along your jaw, peppering them down to your neck. You moaned at his words, nodding softly. He tightened his hold on you, wanting you impossibly close. You gave your hips an experimental roll, gasping softly as you felt his length rub against you. Mando growled against your neck, his fingers digging roughly into your thighs. You were positive that you were going to end up with small bruises scattered along your hips and thighs and you were more than excited to be seeing them later on. Mandos' hands became frantic, grabbing at the thin material around your legs and hips, tugging on the waistband and pulling harshly. “Take them off.” He growled into your neck, his teeth digging into the skin. You pulled yourself off of him, pushing your hair back and tugging at the pants.

He could see the outline of your body as you moved quickly, shimming the material down your legs as you stepped out of them. Mando was impatient as he reached for you, a hand on your hip and the other on your thigh, sitting you right back onto his lap, his lips finding yours in the dark. “I’ve thought about you.” He whispered, his hands caressing your back, feeling every single inch of skin that was exposed to him. “Every night.”

You could’ve died hearing those words leave his mouth.

“I have to.” You confessed, fingers digging into his tensed shoulders as he peppered kisses along your chest and neck.

“I’ve wanted you every single night.” He continued, sucking harshly at the top of your breast, for sure leaving a bruising. You’d let him mark you how ever he wanted, as long as it was him. “You’re so soft.”

“Mando, please.” You begged, rolling your hips once again, feeling his cock drag between your folds. He grunted into your chest, feeling your wetness coat his cock. He trusted against you, the tip bumping your clit making you jolt in his arms. “I need you.”

“Say it again.” He growled, weaving his hand into your hair, grabbing a fist full and keeping you still. “Beg.” You realized that Mando was a very dominant person, someone who took what they wanted whenever they wanted, and that didn’t stop when it came to your body.

“Please.” You pleaded, your voice sounding forgien to your own ears. “I want you in me.” You didn’t care if you sounded pathetic, you were desperate to feel him again. “I need you. Please.”

“You have no idea what I would do for you, my cyar’ika.” He whispered into your ear, lifting you against him. You moaned as you felt him reach for his cock from around you, rubbing the tip between your folds, smearing his precum and your juices around. He lined his cock to your entrance, holding you above him. “Do you want me?” he whispered against your lips.

“Yes.” You nodded frantically, “Always.” That was the correct answer for Mando as he pulled you down, his cock splitting you in half. You whined, dropping your head onto his shoulder, his cock stretching you wide open. It was a bit of a tight fit, both of you were panting by the time half of him was in you. You slowly worked yourself onto him, lifting your hips softly as you sunk down on him.

“Maker.” Mando huffed, “You’re so tight.” You whined into his shoulder, his arms wrapping around you as you finally sat on his thighs. His cock filling you to the brim, pulsing deep within you. Barely moving and you were already out of breath, already squirming against him as he was fully seated in you. Mando wasn’t doing any better, his hands had a bruising grip on your thighs, his breath stilled as he let you adjust to this position. You took a deep breath, lifting your hips, his cock dragging against your walls. A rush of pleasure shook your body, chills spreading over your skin as you sat back down. Mando gasped against you, his hips bucking against you as he wanted more. But he wanted you to control the pace, take it the speed you need it at. And it was killing him not to flip you around and take you the way he wanted.

You started lifting yourself on your knees, moving on top of Mando, feeling his cock become wetter and wetter with your juices as you moved. “You feel so good.” You moaned, the sound of your wetness coating him filling the sound in the room. You gained the confidence you needed, moving a little bit faster, bouncing on his cock as he plunged deep within you.

“Fuck Y/N.” Mando growled, grabbing your hips and helping you ride him, lifting you a bit more and dragging you down a bit harder than what you could do on your own. The tip of his cock nudged your g-spot, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You pushed at his shoulders, shoving him back onto the cot, planting your hands on his chest and lifting yourself up. Mando was sure that this sweet girl who was shy all the time wasn’t the one who was currently riding him. You were in control, riding him and taking what you wanted. He loved it.

He reached for you, grabbing the back of your head, tugging you down harshly against him, your breast pressed tightly against his chest. You squealed as he tugged you down, a hand in your hair, keeping you to him. “You’re so fucking tight around me.” He moaned, your walls clenching around him in response. It was a mess between the two of you, bouncing on top of him, both of you chasing your climaxes, wanting to feel the other. “This pussy is mine.” He growled.

“Yes.” He didn’t leave any room for you to argue, not that you wanted to, you knew that you were his, even if it took this long to screw again, you knew that you were his no matter what.

“Say it.” He huffed, spreading his legs, your own thighs spreading a bit wider, a slight burn from your muscles as he planted his feet and started thrusting up into you. You sobbed against him as his cock brutally nudged your g-spot, your body limp against him as he took control, a hand in your hair and an arm around your waist, keeping you tight to him. “Say you’re mine, sweet thing.” You weren’t even sure if you could speak as he set this brutal pace.

“I’m yours.” You cried, hiding your face in his neck, muffling your cries as he fucked you. “I’m all yours.”

“You take me so well.” He marveled, his arm tightening around your waist before flipping the two of you over. Your breath hitched as he flipped you over, the scratching material of the blanket digging into your back as he settled himself between your legs, his hands traveling down your sides and to your thighs, hooking the back of your knees and lifting them. You moaned loudly as you felt the burning stretching at the back of your thighs as he lifted your knees towards your chest, spreading you for himself. “I could fuck you all day.” He whispered to you, grabbing himself and lining up to your entrance. Your jaw was slacked as you felt him rub your clit with his tip before slamming back in, the slight pain of this new position instantly making your thighs shake. You were his for the taking, and he was taking every last bit. “Ever since that night,” He huffed, thrusting into you slowly, feeling the way you clenched around him, almost making him lose his train of thought. “I’ve thought about having you in every way possible.” You whined, listening to his words, his cock sending waves of pleasure through your body.

“Don’t stop.” you begged, feeling him slow down. “Please Mando, make me cum.” The begging really did it for him. He hovered above you, hooking your thighs over his arms as he fucked you hard. You were a mess, breathless moans, his skin slapping against yours, the wetness of your pussy was all the two of you could hear. You soon felt the familiar tightness in the pit of your stomach, your thighs beginning to shake as your climax was growing and growing. “Mando.” you cried, your walls fluttering around him as your pussy was becoming over sensitive to his movement.

“Cum around me, sweet thing.” he moaned, his own climax approaching as he felt you tighten around him. “Let me feel you.” You grabbed onto his forearms, his trusts speeding up becoming a bit more animalistic. You moaned loudly, that tightness in your stomach snapping as you came, gushing around his cock, gasping into his shoulder, whimpering at the over stimulation. “Cum inside me.” You begged. He growled into your shoulder as he felt your walls pulsating around him, his movements becoming irregular when he heard your words. He came a few thrusts after you, filling you to the brim with his cum. You gasped at the sensation, feeling Mando bite down on your shoulder, keeping his throbbing cock buried in you, giving you a few more soft thrusts.

Your walls clenched around him, feeling his cock twitch and pulse within you, both of you wordless and out of breath from the orgasms. He slowly let go of your thighs, whimpering as they instantly began feeling sore. Your whole body was sore, you knew that tomorrow you were going to be walking funny, there was no way you weren’t.

You reached up, weaving a hand into his shaggy hair, scratching at his scalp as the two of you calmed down, relishing in one another as you tried to catch your breaths.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, caressing your thigh softly. It made you smirk, remembering him asking you the same question last time.

“I’ve never been better.” You whispered back, feeling a smile growing on his face. He pulled out of you, both of you moaning softly. You blushed as you felt his and your cum leaking from you, dripping onto the bed. He seattle himself next to you, lightly shoving his arm under your head. With a smirk you made yourself comfortable, rolling over and resting your head on his chest. “Is this okay?” You whispered, feeling him slowly place his hand on your back.

“Yes.” he answered, his thumb rubbing your back softly.

***

You groaned as you felt something touching your face, caressing at your cheek as you slept. You cracked an eye open, seeing the Child standing right in front of your face, holding one of his little hands to your cheek. Once he saw your eye open he cooed loudly, a smile on his little face. “What are you doing, sweet thing?” You whispered, clenching the scratchy blanket closer to your chest. You raised an arm, poking at his little chest. You lifted yourself up onto an elbow, glancing around the room. Mando was gone, your clothes still scattered everywhere, and the Child in the cot with you. “Where did he go?” You whispered to the child, wrapping the blanket around your body and standing. You were right, you were sore, legs wobbling as you stood, the evidence of last night covering the inside of your thighs. You blushed, as you collected your clothes that were scattered everywhere.

As you grabbed your shirt, the door opened, Mando walking in with two bowls of food. You jumped lightly, seeing him standing there, in his beskar and helmet, and you, in a blanket.

“Sorry.” You chuckled, lightly, “Just woke up.” You smiled, again not sure of what facial expressions he was making under his helmet.

“I brought food.” He commented, closing the door. You were unaware how small this room was, or if it was the fact that Mando just took up so much space. “For you and the child.” He added, stepping over to the child. He greedily accepted the food, holding the small bowl in between his hands, as he sat on the cot.

“Let me get dressed.” You smiled again, shrugging a shoulder and turning. You barely took a step when you felt a gloved hand grab your wrist. You turned, Mando standing right in front of you. A word wasn’t spoken as he cupped the back of your head, leaning down and resting his helmet against your forehead. You smiled, closing your eyes and feeling the coolness against your skin.

Tag List: @hayley-the-comet

If you’d like to be tagged for anymore of my future works please let me know!

2K notes · View notes