#colder breath

[temporarymoods]

"relax" time

hey bloggggerooni,

you're intercepting me in my personal time. you see, i've been employing apple calendar-- i cannot reccomend her enough-- and 10:07 PM puts us in the block of time labeled "Relax" and colored purple. I could do anything in these next two hours. And I decided to get a little high and talk to you.

<3

I haven't smoked in a while, it's true! Especially alone. A girl does not have the time. But I've been looking forward to it, knowing its at the priority list, but if I can just,, do enough,, to reach it. Lmao. I meant it when I said I've been busy.

Unfortunately, I've got so much, too much, sativa. I know, I know, so lame; shut up about weed strains. But I had to say it?! Why did I go crazy. Why did I do that. Lol. Anyway, the only non **wake up** product got with me is this hyrbid flower. Didn't even get the chance to think about rolling by the time I see this beautiful little blue bowl. Honestly viewer, I forgot where I got it from. Thus prompted the following one-handed-ly-typed note:

wherr did i get. t his bowl

I take notes a lot, when I'm awake. About lots of things, right. Here's another:

- directory ,, crm/?

So know they're (me) talking about those personal communications file flippers. Do you know the old ones? Where 90s business professionals used to keep track of how long its been since they last intereacted with a person? Boy have those had an effect on me. Why do I think about those all of the time. I just wished upon mine, but alas, it does not exist.

I've been thinking a lot today, yesterday. So much, in comparison to how much I've been looking at myself. Very little. So much so, that when I go to get a little high and on my porch with my blog, as a treat, hehe, and I see my reflection in the facetime app, it gives me pause. I am a person, I am a human, I'm one of them, the rest of them, who you think about all the time. And you've got people. Wait, who are those people? And how are they doing?

That might be something I need to do more.

- - -

Welcome to K-Ray94.4, this is your DJ Kate. For your considering, the following, without further ado...

Hawks | Jodi

Rubberneckerss | Christian Lee Hutson

End of Beginning | Djo

Salvation Army | Harrison Whitford

Calling the Shots | Jamie B.

Horable Mention: I'd Have to Think About It | Leith Ross

Guys, gals, pals, despite love, despite commitment, despite trust, I can not get myself to listen to anything other than indie/folk right now.

I'll be back, though, I'll be back................

That one bowl went berserk. Another? she asks.

Trader Joe's chocchip muffin for now, thanks.

Part of me's been wanting to change the theme on here, super randomly. Like it's too bright. I really like the old Microsoft look, haha, but want something darker...? Or I'm clinging to a passing vampirism fetish?

I can see the glowing lights of the city skyline from here. They're twinkling, like jewels, through the new gap in the tree foliage. Soon there will be more of them, and I'll have a warm drink, a scarf and mittens. I look forward to those times.

Lots to look forward to. !! :)

I've been liking these thoughts so far, catching their flow through time. I like writing; i just always get so scared.

Until soon, very soon, as there's lots to discuss, Kate 10/10/23 10:31PM

p.s. playlist 'momtober'

[hyacinths-in-a-storm]

Why did no one tell me Smoke and Shadow was 90% of Kiyi bullying Ursa for being anemic.

[jesterspecter]

Knell of the Bells

[0rchidm4ntis]

At least the moon will keep him company in the dead of night

[liebelesbe]

my dad is going to see the Deadpool Wolverine movie and I'm so jealous :(

nobody in this house should be allowed to go out and have fun until I'm able to go out and have fun again >:|

[onenerdroaming]

wanted to capture how silly I can look while hiking in the winter

[wkxs]

Hello friends, life update 🍁

See tags for trigger warning.

In relation with my last life update post:

My sister had a miscarriage

We had a huge falling out (somewhat related to the first point)

I had to sell my car (technically it wasn't mine, and my sister owned half of it)

We are going to start to live separately as soon as possible (I'm trying to use my part of the money to buy an apartment)

I'm getting a raise in the next couple of months

I'm going to look for a diagnosis (I'm starting to think I also have a little bit of PTSD, it's not normal to have your heart skip a beat because you heard footsteps and doors opening)(you don't want to know why I have these reactions)

I always come back to Tumblr when my life is going downhill, and I saw the things one of my mutuals tagged me (I'm going to answer it, I just need to remember how to express myself), so I'll be more active in the near future.

If you have any tips on how to live alone/articulate my thoughts and feelings properly send them my way. I'm trying to save some cash to go back to therapy ✌🏻

[wlwaerith]

the weather is getting colder and i finally feel like a person again

[cutexasxabutton]

|⛄| ❝This is a tag dump!!!❞ |🖤|

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

[immcrtalsx]

@mcnstercus ( Savannah )

Hands off my bacon!

[mossyinkynebulous]

so, it's been a while where I've had a day off where I didn't have to get multiple classes worth of hw done and not go anywhere or have to get ready to go to the next day, like a breather day that I could take at my own sluggish pace.

I got an art piece done and almost 1 class's hw done that's for the rest of the semester basically. Did I "waste" half day where I could have been more productive? Sure, but I'm also in the least amount of pain I've been in a while. Did having a couple nibbles of an edible aide in the pain? Also probably. Either way though, I've had a generally productive day with the smallest amount of pain that I can recall for like at least the past month.

The point of this is to reaffirm to other people who deal with chronic pain that it's okay to take a break or day off to just deal with the pain. To have a day at your own pace that allows you to minimize the amount of pain you're in. That you don't have to keep pushing yourself at the rate and expectations that those aren't in pain do.

It's okay

[awildwriter]

i wanted to have already had my agathario fic posted because I’m about to see wicked

gotta brace for that to consume me for a hot minute

[tinyweevil]

RAAAAAAAAA AAAGHHVCVHHHZLDJZ AAAAAAAAAAA

[as-rare-as-trees]

Yes! Summertime rage is over, it's time for, uh... winter blues?

[fallencelsetial]

The weather is changing. I’m in pain.