#I know I should just 'get over it' but that suggest I'm not autistic and think like everyone else. When I don't

[inkdemon-whore]

oh yeah, update. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. We broke up over the guy she's dating now. Bless his soul the poor sap. u_u

Hi hello hi, I'm not back, I'm dumping art here cuz it's where most ppl follow me. Idk, maybe I'll be like one of those Asian artists that are inactive for months, n then come back to dump a bunch of art, n then disappear again.

I still fucking hate this site, and Twitter isn't any better, but I have no idea where to post my art now other than there.

Anyway, if you want a "me" update, I've been playing a shit ton of VRchat, got a girlfriend, and am a Jax kin now I guess. (He is me fr fr)

Anyway, I'm logging out. Later losers. Maybe I'll see yall in another 6 months.

In the mean time, if ya really want art from me, commission me, it's linked in my pinned post.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my mom I don't like it when she slaps my ass? potential tw

so I (22 trans m) currently live with my mom (65), and I've always had issues with how she interacts with my body. today she woke me up to try on a pair of pants I bought yesterday before she washed them, and I asked her if she could stop staring at me while I took my pajama pants off to try on the jeans. she pushed back and laughed it off saying it didn't matter, so I had to change in front of her cause she refused to leave the room. this has happened many times before where she insists on watching me change, even when I'm completely naked, despite me asking her not to.

I put the pants on and she immediately comes over to inspect how they fit for herself, tugging on the waistband and looking them over, then promptly slaps my ass. I immediately recoil and tell her I didn't like it and I want her to stop, and she scoffs and rolls her eyes at the suggestion. I tell her it's weird because we've had this conversation before since her slapping my ass is a frequent occurrence, and like usual, she insists there's nothing weird about it because she's my mother and she isn't doing it to be sexual. when she does this, she usually says, "I birthed that ass, so I'm allowed to slap that ass if I want to." I tried to tell her that I'n an adult and I should be allowed to tell her when I don't like something she does to me, and I was visibly pissed off and kicked her out of my room to go back to bed.

I could hear her in the other room walking around saying loudly, "ohh, so I'M aaaaalways the problem. I'm the problem, of course," in like a mocking tone because she clearly thinks I'm in the wrong. I know she's an asshole for a lot of other reasons (she's pretty transphobic and doesn't respect my name, pronouns, or that I'm on hormones, and she frequently takes out her anger issues on me by yelling at me if I even look at her wrong when she's mad), but this one has been bothering me a lot since I moved back home after college (I'm also unemployed and wouldn't be able to move out for a while despite already wanting to get away from her)

for further context, she's always had a specific way of interacting with my body that I think is weird but she refuses to see it. she insisted on personally bathing me into middle school, then continued to say that I needed her help to shower correctly even up to now, so she frequently walks into my bathroom or bedroom when I'm entirely naked and will look my body over and I'm not a fan of it. she also still tries to force her way into changing rooms if we go shopping together so that she can have the final say in how I look in clothes, and she never even wants to turn around or wait outside while I strip.

I've tried to get her to stop before but she keeps doing it, insisting that she's my mother so she's allowed to, even though I'm an adult who hasn't lived with her for the past four years and is very autonomous, so it's not like she still does everything for me. she also pushes back and says that if I think it's weird then it must mean I've been assaulted before and that's why I don't like it when she touches me. I'm also autistic and don't like frequent hugs or any kind of touching and she doesn't like it when I tell her to stop doing that too, but her slapping my ass and insisting on seeing me naked is the stuff that really bothers me, the rest I tolerate just so I don't have to argue with her all the time.

I've asked friends before if they think it's weird she does this, but she's so insistent that she should be able to touch me whenever and however she wants just because she's my mom and that she can look at me naked because she birthed me and has seen me naked before, so why is it different now that I'm a full on adult. I honestly don't know who's in the wrong for this specific thing and if I'm over exaggerating like my mom says I am, but I'm so sick of her touching me when I tell her not to that I needed to poll answers, so:

am I the asshole for telling my mom to stop slapping my ass and insisting on looking at me while I'm naked despite being an adult and asking her not to?

[loveofdetail]

Let's talk about Gale's sex scenes

I love the astral sex scene and it means so much to me, and I have some problems with the way I've seen it talked about.

I should start by saying this post is not intended to critique anybody's personal preferences. The license to do Whatever The Fuck in an rpg is sacrosanct and there are no wrong choices. But I’ve also seen people imply that the astral scene is not “real” sex, or that Gale romancers “deserved more.” I hope I do not have to explain why that's kinda fucked.

Additionally, I think it is a saddening misread to call the astral scene “performative” in contrast to the bed scene (which gets correspondingly framed as “showing Gale that you want the real him.”) But doing a grandiose magical gesture IS the real him!

I know I'm not alone in viewing Gale as autistic; for me the astral sex scene is a big contributor to that. For one thing, it resonates with the concept of having unusual sensory wants. For another, it reads to me as Gale opening up and showing his passion for magic to the PC in a way he’s never been able to with another mortal before. What neurodivergent person has not had someone view their passion as too weird or too over the top? Have you ever been at a level of enthusiasm that wraps back around into seeming “performative” to others? Ever wanted to show a loved one something that matters to you, but worried they’d never understand—or, worse, they’d actively cringe?

In the astral sex scene, Gale shows the PC how much he loves the Weave (which is not the same as loving Mystra), and the PC does not cringe.

If all the glowing merging translucent bodies, the nebulae, the multiplying limbs, the spinning, the trippiness, the celestial music—if all these trappings made you, the player, cringe: there is nothing wrong with that. But I do think it is a misread to say that the bed version constitutes “helping him heal from his trauma.”

Maybe I have a hair-trigger for anything that implies “becoming more sexually normative = character growth.” Or “vanilla sex = a more intimate connection.” But they are just such tiresome concepts.

I understand that some of the dialogue in the game also suggests that idea, but all that dialogue is coming from the PC. What Gale says is that having bodily sex is “a small gesture toward your comfort.” This has been widely glossed over, imo.

Ultimately the two versions of this scene fulfill two different narrative functions: the bed version is to show the player that Gale will set these wants aside for you should you ask him to. But the astral version is there to show the player who HE is and what HE wants. And I think it is sad to write off this beautiful, lovingly crafted, unique and creative approach to a sex scene as merely something “performative” that he only does because Mystra made him think he had to.

“Stay with me now. There are endless worlds out there. Countless ways to declare love. Infinite ways to express it. Too much for one night... but we shall try.” I've admittedly got a ways to go in the game, but so far this is my single favorite line of dialogue. I genuinely don't understand how people can hear this line, the way it’s acted, and think it's just for show. He knows he's about to get weird but he longingly, vulnerably asks you to stay there in his weirdness with him.

Many writers, when they are writing something kinda out there, have doubts of the form Who is this even for? If the astral scene just isn’t for you I don't have beef with that. But the people who saw the astral sex scene and went "Oh, my god, now THIS is FOR ME"—are perhaps people who only very rarely get to watch a sex scene and have that reaction.

I'm glad Baldur's Gate brought something this beautiful to this particular table and I think it deserves consideration as a serious element of Gale’s characterization.

[hobie-enthusiast]

I really love how you write!! I was wondering if you could so smth with hobie x autistic + sunshine!reader? I'm autistic, and i've constantly been belittled for it so it'd mean a lot to see my biggest cc with an autistic reader!! If you're worried about how to approach it maybe you could do smth like reader using noise canceling headphones? or like comforting when reader had an autistic meltdown?? Ofc these are just ideas, whatever you wna do!! Also don't fret if you don't want to do this request, just wanted to ask !!! ^w^

Oh and gender neutral with they/them pronouns please!! 🫶

- 🎀 anonymous

(Emoji signoffs are so cute!! hoping you don't mind me adding one !!!)

QUIET AND EASE !

— hobie brown x energetic!autistic!gn!reader

— fluff and comfort, autistic meltdown, noise canceling headphones, petnames (sweetheart, love), hobie’s worried and nervous, sensory overload, breakdowns due to loud noises, almost panic attacks

— time with your friends was always nice, but sometimes it got to be too much, and hobie is always there to help

— ill do u one better anon how about incorporating both 🫶 also ofc you can have an emoji! thank u for ur support!

— official disclaimer: the following fic and reader experience is based on my experience and also other aspects i have read up on. every autistic person is different, and they won’t all have this exact reaction when it comes to a meltdown. so pls keep that in mind when reading :) if anything seems wrong please feel free to tell me!

Everything was so so loud.

The two of you agreed two have friends over, a small hangout. It had been a while since everyone had hung out, so Hobie suggested hosting them. You agreed, wanting to see everyone again after a while.

You welcomed everyone excitedly, wanting to show off your place. “Hey guys! Come on in, let me give you a tour!”

You dragged them all around the apartment, pointing out various things that maybe they didn’t notice. Your favourites; some hanging pictures, pieces, and collectables.

The other owner of the place, Hobie, couldn’t help but smile a bit at your excited nature. That’s just how you were, naturally excited about your interests. He encouraged that, loving the way you seem to know so much about these types of things.

After a tour and explanations you so graciously provided, you ushered everyone to grab some dinner or snacks. You had some entertainment planned out, so you and Hobie let everyone decide what they wanted to do. It was a nice time, and you enjoyed your friend’s company.

But soon, they just got too rowdy for your liking. It was about a couple hours into get-together and Miles and Pavitr decided it would be a great idea to play some board and card games. Of course, the competitive nature led to some yelling between the teens.

You tapped out of the game a while ago, feeling an anxious nerve tapping at the back of your head. You hoped it was nothing. That you could continue enjoying your friend’s company.

Definitely not the case.

“Oh come on! I had it that round!” Miles groaned loudly, nudging Gwen. “I would have won!”

“But you didn’t! I remain the victor!” Pavitr declares loudly, collecting all the cards.

Hobie laughs lowly, finding amusement in the banter among the younger ones. It was nice hearing everyone just able to relax and not worry about their duties. Well, there was one person he hadn’t heard from in a minute.

The older turned to you, noticing the way you seemed to just be.. staring out. Your hands were messing with one another, and your leg was bouncing crazily. Your eyes were glassy, almost as if..

Oh. Oh no.

Subtly, Hobie scoots closer to you, minding himself to not touch you. “Doin’ okay, love?”

The words go into your head, you hear them. But it’s difficult to process. Were you okay? Was this okay? No, it wasn’t, but can you even say that? Should you tell him? Will you tell him? So many overwhelming questions.

“I-”

“Oh come on! You have to be cheating!”

A particularly loud yell from Miles causes you to flinch, head dropping to your knees. No, you weren’t okay. Not one bit. Tears sprang to your eyes quickly as your body rocks, hands harshly pushing against your ears.

This is when Hobie knew he had to spring into action. “Guys, c’mon, ‘s time t’ get goin’.”

Everyone looks up at Hobie, confused, with Gwen being first to speak up. “What? Hobie, we just got here?”

“‘m sorry, but you can come back ‘nother time. Please.” He requests, ushering everyone to stand up.

As Hobie tries to get everyone out and away, you’re off in your own world. Your head was spinning, all your sense coming at you at full force. Everything was crashing down on you, and you couldn’t stop it.

Once he managed to get everyone out, his feet were moving him to your shared room. He needed the essentials; your blanket, your headphones, and your phone. He’d get more once you asked, certainly. Rushing back to you, he kneels down, hands glued to his thighs.

“Hey swee’heart..” He says in a really quiet whisper, not wanting to upset you further. “‘m gonna put these on ya, okay? Jus’ real quick, then ‘m done.. I’ll be right over here for ya.”

He knew these types of things could be harmful, you told him that before. The last thing you wanted was to accidentally hurt him. But letting you know what he’s doing helped a small part of your brain, one trying to gain regulation.

Carefully, Hobie moves to put your headphones on your head, the noise from the outside world coming to a halt. He moves back after, hands in your view as he backs up. That’s how he shows that he’s away, letting you have your space.

Next, he mimics your position, drawing his knees to his chest. Hobie’s nervous, he couldn’t deny, but all he could do was sit and wait. You needed your space, and he would be here to help you with the aftermath.

And then he just.. waits.

Once the sound is blocked out, that’s one less worry on your mind. You focus next on the tears streaming down your face. Everything felt sore, your mind was hurting. That made you want to cry.

You bit your lip as you shake your hands, trying to get some sort of stability. You focus on the movement of your hand, watching the rings Hobie let you steal jangle together. No doubt they make a nice sound, Hobie probably hears it.

Your brain waves start to slow down, you can tell. Without the overwhelming sense, you start to feel at ease. Some thoughts are able to run through.

‘Breathe. Think. Safe.’

You try your hardest to repeat these words in your head, continuously stimming as the tears finally stop. Without the horrible feeling of crying, it’s somewhat easier to understand what’s happening. The loud sounds were gone. You were okay.

By the time you managed to gain more of yourself, your head was hurting badly. Glancing up, you notice the way Hobie was looking at you. He had a worried expression. He didn’t wear it often, but he was now. He was nervous for you.

He gives a small wave, gaining a small laugh from you as you wave back. Then, he holds out his hand, giving you the option to take it. He wants nothing more than to hold and comfort you, he wants to help make you feel secure.

You cautiously take his hand, allowing him to wrap his arms around you. This instantly made you melt in his embrace. Exhaustion was catching up with you.

But things could be okay now. You were alone with Hobie, someone you trusted immensely.

Hobie was relieved when you allowed yourself to be embraced by him. He felt better knowing he could give you this sense of comfort. It was better than being able to do nothing.

Gently, he kisses your forehead when he feels your body slumping. “Mhm.. rest, swee’heart.. ‘m here..”

He knew his words were blocked by your headphones, but he still whispered them anyways. Almost like assuring himself. Everything was okay. You were okay.

Hobie decided that tonight was a good night for a sleep on the floor. He grabs your blanket, putting it over both of your bodies while lying back. He lets you adjust your body so you can sleep comfortably with the headphones on, which happens to be on his side with hands intertwined.

He was comfortable. You were comfortable. And he could easily fall asleep knowing that you would wake up and hopefully feel as good as you did earlier that day.

[libraford]

Idk maybe it's because I'm autistic and don't get how things are supposed to work (I also haven't been able to work for over a decade due to disability so take this all with a heap of salt) but it feels like she needs someone to blame for problems.

You said last year there were three leads but this year you're doing the work of three on your own. Did they quit or get fired? Maybe someone else was the assigned "problem child" last year? But the fact that you didn't get any useful feedback at the times problems supposedly happened and they continued using your work...it just reads like a power trip on her end tbh

One of them left to become a veterinarian and do photography on the side. The other one of them left because there was a pretty big death in the family and also oldest kid was going through his senior year. Both have said that they might come back, but so far neither of them have committed.

The two of them were nearly perfect leads. Like they did all the paperwork properly and had all the details right and they didn't rush and they rarely did anything wrong.

Except when they did. And since I learned from one of them, I learned on all of her mistakes.

So I've had to be retrained.

Again and again and again.

There would typically only be one lead per job, so its not like I'm doing the work of three people the way I was doing the work of like... 7 people at the flower shop. I am still doing the work of one person, but I am doing it every day instead of only two to three times a week.

So the mistakes I learned are more obvious now and I am put in positions where previously I was not, like having to call as soon as there's a problem- because previously I was not often having these problems. I get dinged for not following procedure for this.

She tried training me on groups last year, but every time there was a chance to learn on the job something interrupted it. The first time it was because the person we had doing individuals was going painfully slowly and she had me set up my unit to clear out the bottleneck. The second time it was because our individuals photographer went into labor.

So I've been trained wrong on a bunch of things and had to be retrained. Attempts to train me properly have been interrupted, but she thinks that I received proper training and that I should be good to go.

So I do it. And I do it wrong. Over and over again.

And then I get the critique and there is disagreement between my boss and her boss about how I'm supposed to have done it.

And then I try again. And there's disagreement between my boss and me about how I was supposed to do it.

So my spirit is fuckin' crushed lately and I just want to get to the end of the season but of course there's YET ANOTHER critique at the end of the year where she says I'm bad at receiving critique when I've had to be retrained several times in several different areas, and she claims that NOTHING HAS CHANGED FROM MY INITIAL TRAINING even though documentably it HAS, which makes me feel like a fucking crazy person for suggesting that its hard to keep up with the changes sometimes.

And she says she's tired of arguing with me about how things are supposed to be done when I'm supposed to KNOW how things are done by now because this is my THIRD year in the business and why am I so argumentative?

At the last groups job, I asked her to help be out a little bit and check my work to make sure I was doing it right. I wasn't even done with the first group and she jumps in and tells me my numbers are wrong, changes it all and that's how we found that the guides were different. But when I talk to her about what made me mad there, she has a different story- she says that I did 2 or 3 classes wrong before she jumped in. Which is not what happened to my recollection.

I've asked her to take a more passive role and she got mad at me because she swears that she did take a passive role and now I'm being inconsistent- because I asked her for help and now I'm asking her not to get her hands in it. So now I'm confused again because I remember that day completely differently, and when I asked the rest of the crew they said that she was being pushy. Once she left and I was on my own, I did fine- but being unable to even get through a whole class without her jumping in to save the day kind of crushed me.

So I think she's misremembering a LOT. And making it my problem for bringing up inconsistencies, confusions, and changes. Either that or I have worse memory problems than I thought I did.

And now I'm being told that I go too fast. Because there were days last season where we were done an entire hour earlier than we were supposed to be. And I asked her- did people complain? Were my photos bad because I was fast?

No, no one complained. We had less retakes this year than we did any year.

If no one complained, then the problem is that I'm not taking time with the students to get the perfect photo. The problem is that you don't think I could possibly be that good and that fast at the same time. But if a kid only needs thirty seconds to get the pose, why should I take more time than is needed?

My photos have improved significantly from my first year. Oh my god, they've improved so much. But I'm struggling to learn a new, complicated thing for which I've gotten mixed messages and not gotten a lot of consistent guidance on.

And because I get confused when something is different from what was described, I am told that I can't take criticism.

Well yeah, no- if that's the criticism you've got for me, no I can't take criticism.

[bmwiid]

I had a virtual 'conversation' at work via an anonymous questionnaire they send out every 3 months.

Its full of the dumbest motherfuckin questions you ever heard, and you have to rate each one out of 10, and then (if you like) to leave a comment on why you have rated it. Every three months. 30 questions.

And the questions are so fucking stupid because they want certain answers, right?

"How likely are you to recommend our product to friends and family?"

and they want you to put: "10 - I legit orgasm when I get the chance to talk about our products! I'll recommend it till the day I die! "

And then they don't understand why I keep putting low marks. So this time, they came back (its anonymous but they can reply to comments, they just don't know WHO made the comment) over a few of my ratings as they were 'very low' (very low is anything under 8, by the way)

Q: You put 5 for recommending our product - can you tell us why?

A: I don't recommend products to people at all. Especially not things like insurance, operating systems, or banking. I never have, and I never will.

Q: Ah, I understand, the question was meant to say "if you were asked about our product specifically, how likely are you to recommend it?

A: Then that is what it should have asked.

-

Q: You gave a 5 for "If I was offered the same role at another company, how likely would you be to leave?" Can you please tell us why you scored so low?

A: It would depend on what I would gain at the other place. If it was more money, or less hours for the same money, or increased benefits or other perks.

Q: The question was worded in a way to suggest that the role and perks/salary would be the same. In that case, would you change your answer?

A: The question only talked about the role. I think, unless there were serious issues at this job, no one would leave for the same job and pay unless there was a benefit to changing.

Q: It was meant to be a question of loyalty to your team and role here, how dedicated you are to the company as a whole.

A: I'm not dedicated to a company. I work here to pay bills and support my life outside of work. If I were offered another job with better perks/better pay, I would leave to better my life.

-

Anyway, we all got a mandatory meeting today about thinking "What the questions MEAN and to think about the CORE of the question"

I think they might want to run them by an autistic person first before sending them out. Because you ask a question, and we (those who like to dance around the spectrum like a fuckin pinball on crack) will answer the QUESTIONS THEY ACTUALLY ASK.

I also think they don't like being able to give me a meeting directly because they are clinging to the 'nonny' bullshit lie.

They know exactly who fills them in. we've got PERSONAL LINKS and cant share them FOR A REASON.

[greattigerssimp]

~I'm opening up Punch Out roleplays!!~

---

Yep, y'all heard me. As someone who loves writing and roleplays, I will officially be opening up roleplays! You can play as your OCs, self inserts, etc. alongside any roleplay starter I list below (or your very own!) Ofc I'm going to be using my AU of the characters (as seen pinned to my profile) in order to play as said characters (mainly from the Wii version of PO).

Rules:

- No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

- Please engage! Write at least 2 sentences per response so I'm not just role-playing by myself ;-;

- I will do nsfw/f*tish roleplays (I'm an adult after all) buuuut you need to NOT be a minor + you need my permission

- OC/self insert x canon roleplays are allowed!

- Please let me know if anything I write makes you feel uncomfortable (I'm autistic lmao idk when I cross boundaries)

- Have fun!!

I tend to use a variety of different roleplay styles, typically script-style and standard, but you can use any style you'd like! ^^ Anyways, with all that said and done, let's go over some roleplay starters!

Starters:

Starter 1: The new boxer in town!

"You/OC has recently moved to NYC in order to participate in the rising boxing league, the World Video Boxing Association! You came from *insert country/state here* and are excited to meet your new co-workers. The first night of your job sees you invited to a small welcoming party held at the WVBA gym near where you live."

Starter 2: The mysterious anomaly!

"You and the other boxers find each other stuck inside the WVBA gym during a thunderstorm. The power is out, and everyone is stuck hanging around the locker rooms. After Bear Hugger tells everyone a spooky story about "The anomaly" (see AU for details), everyone is placed on edge for the night, as everyone quickly realized that all the exits of the WVBA have been blocked off. What will you do?"

Starter 3: WVBA Anniversary vacation!

"Tomorrow morning is the 30th anniversary of the WVBA, and the network higher-ups have offered to take the boxers on a little fun trip to commemorate the occasion. But the boxers have to vote on what to do... should they cruise to an exotic island? Go to a fun theme park for a day? The choice is anyone's suggestion... perhaps yours!"

Starter 4: Uncovering Dreamland!

"After overcoming Lil Mac and Mr. Sandman and becoming the pound for pound champion of the WVBA, you get a special invitation to have dinner with the CEO of the WVBA (and the network)... Mr. Dream! Will you uncover something nefarious about the millionaire CEO? Who's to say..."

Starter 5: Box-con!

"Box-con is an annual event where the WVBA brings all of its boxers together at a special event (similar to comic con, but for boxers). All the boxers ever featured on the WVBA (which means the SPO boxers) are attending. Who knows what may transpire?"

Starter 6 (oc/self insert x headcanon only): The secret admirer!

*insert love interest here* has been on your mind the moment you two have met... after a difficult match, your love interest is exhausted and beaten down. You decide to help them... and possibly ask them out or such. Either of you could take the helm! (NSFW is allowed)."

Starter 7: WVBA World Tour!

"The WVBA is airing a brand new special, involving matches taking place in each boxers home country! From Paris, France to California, you join the boxers as they each reconnect with their roots and family's, all filled with drama and heart before the tour brings your OC/self insert to their native country."

Starter 8: The new trainer!

"You've been employed by Mr. Dream himself to become a personal, dotting trainer for all the boxers. Your goal as a trainer is to support and help each boxer prepare for their fights against one another, and to just look after their wellbeing in general. You'll learn about each boxers, their past, their fighting style, etc. You may even fall for one of them, hehe~"

(I might post more starters in the future!)

[tapwater118]

pinned post jumpscare blauughh

pronouns.cc | strawpage

hiya i’m flower!

i'm plural i think. i (the host) also go by golf ball, GB, gaty, maddie, tap water, tap, captain coinpin (<- silly), etc. queer person on the internet with too many names, check

collectively tap/tap water, she/they, 21 y.o. (individual names/pronouns can be found in the pronouns.cc)

fictkin with a bunch of weird blorbos (if you couldn’t tell from the first part)

i like various things and then will proceed to draw them. big fat bfdi/osc special interest mostly (i am a huge multishipper (based) btw so erm yeah)

feel free to use my art and such as pfps/banners/whatever, just give credit pls

let the record show that i am bad at using social media so uh i am probably a terrible mutual sorry in advance

also if i like over explain something to you please do not take it as a slight against you, i am just autistic (as if it wasn’t obvious)

if ya wanna know more, feel free to shoot up the ask box or dms, i love answering questions. i also like taking requests over asks! just note that it may be some time before i get around to your request

(regarding dms, please come in with something more than ‘hi’. i’m not comfortable initiating conversation with someone im not familiar with.)

(also don’t flirt with me. you don’t have a rat’s chance)

dunno where else to put this but all the stuff you send to my strawpage is posted on @taps-strawpage-sillies so look there!

things you’ll probably see me blabber about/draw at some point:

object shows (particularly bfdi, but i also fw inanimate insanity, hfjone, boto, animatic battle, team room 125, orb, burner, object kerfuffle, love of the s*n, ppt2, itft, and others im probably forgetting) (oh and idfb fear garden tee hee)

mario

kirby

pikmin

undertale/deltarune

pizza tower

fnf

homestuck

fnaf

petscop

horror stuff in general

regretevator

to be expanded once i remember more stuff

(art may be suggestively crude in humor but never nsfw)

(also if you ask i can always add tags to stuff if you have something in particular you want to mute, i dont mind)

i am working on some cool projects i think you should check them out because they are cool:

Occasionally Coinpin: hosted over at @occasionallycoinpin. posting coinpin, occasionally (the main reason you don’t see coinpin content here all that often)

Book Askblog: hosted at @twotonedhardcover, where i pretend to be a gay little novel for shits and giggles

Battle for Hopes and Dreams: a bfdi x undertale au that puts the characters of bfdi in the world of undertale. tagged as “#battle for hopes and dreams”

Competition for Fantasy Retreat: a bfdi swap au that swaps characters’ compositions and parts of their personalities. tagged as “#competition for fantasy retreat”

BfDI 1990: an unfiction reimagining of bfdi as an NES game from 1990. tagged as “#BfDI1990” (unreality content warning for this). please note that this is NOT an ARG, there is no game or puzzle to be solved, it is simply unfiction

Tap’s BFDI D-Side: a bfdi d-side take, where characters’ designs and personalities are remixed for something new and refreshing! (based on fnf d-sides obviously) tagged as “#tap’s bfdi d side”

BFDI Redux: a hypothetical bfdi season 6, featuring many of the tpot rejects as well as underutilized veterans. tagged as “#bfdi redux”

OSC horror content: i like turning the silly blorbos into fucked up evil creatures. general tag is “#FLApasta” but each story has its own separate tag (general content warning for these)

other tags i’ll use frequently i think:

“#asks” all the crud that ends up in my inbox and also some very nice things. it is a mystery

“#yap fest” for general inane ramblings. i say some very stupid things

“#ultra yap fest” for long posts, including rants and character analyses

“#slop tier post” art and other things that are generally below a certain threshold of quality i hold for myself. i’m probably too harsh on myself but oh well

“#word salad yummy yummy” fanfic stuff. im on ao3 and wattpad if ya didnt know

“#top tier post” “#all the day every day” “#one for the ages” posts that i really really like. usually from moots

“#literally me” fictkin id posts. you get it. no you don’t. i don't get it either

“#oiny” wife

[skele-bunny]

I seen you share this post and I know you're comfortable writing these things, so I was wondering if we could have little snippets or maybe a fic elaborating on when you wrote about Dew punching someone for fat shaming Aether? Thanks!! https://www.tumblr.com/skele-bunny/759611991374643200?source=share

Word! Also you're right wjsjdj I don't mind writing these things at all. I'm perfectly fine with getting requests to tackle heavier topics 💪 context: this post by @mutt-sys

CW - FATPHOBIA, RACISM, PARENTAL DISCRIMINATION, ABLEISM, VICTIM BLAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, ACEPHOBIA

Cowbell has experienced acephobia before. Ghouls are sexual driven creatures, there's no way a ghoul is asexual! She's had to deal with crude remarks, "You just haven't met the right person!" // "It's just a phase you'll grow out of." , which also meant unwanted advances. Sometimes it gets to the point she thinks she's broken. That something really is wrong with him.

A multitude of both ghouls and siblings have had to work around ableism. Zephyr simply being denied into places like the bathhouse, outings with their pack as they simple didn't have wheelchair accessibility. Delta being denied accessibility services because he wasn't "blind enough." Pebble fighting for MONTHS to get his hearing aids. Phantom not being accommodated as "We've seen autistic people before. You don't act like that." or just "You? I would've never guessed! You don't look autistic!"

And yeah! Just like in that little hc post, Aether, Cumulus, Omega, Alpha, Ifrit, basically any bigger ghoul has absolutely received fatphobia on a daily basis wether it's subtle or outright. Getting grimaces, especially if they work in the hospital. Bc they're deemed "unhealthy" so why should they work in a "healthy" setting? Omega getting an annoyed sighs from the wardrobe siblings "Guess we need another size up..." Cumulus being deemed unattractive because of her weight, her height, basically anything about her was unattractive. Unlovable.

Even Terzo faced discrimination. Constantly misgendered and deadnamed even after being publicly out, always feeling his face warm up and heart stop as he's deadnamed in front of someone who only knew him as Terzo. But forced to bare it and grin as if he even tries standing up for himself he's "Sensitive" or "Over reacting" and given just annoyed sighs and eye rolls. Sunshine and Cirrus getting scoffed at and slurs thrown at them for entering women's sections of say the bathhouse or changing room at the gym. Constantly being reported (that doesn't go anywhere) but passively aggressively suggested to use the gender neutral rooms instead, which just makes them more upset.

Mist experiencing discrimination with her kits! One of them starts fussing and annoyed whispers of "I wish there were child free places"//"Does that baby have to be here?"//"Great, just what I wanted. A screaming kit." At first he was able to stand up for himself and curse them out but after so many times... It's hard to not let it get to you. Just softly crying and getting frustrated at not only himself but her kits :/. Unable to go back to work as they don't want someone "wrapped up with kits who's unreliable."

(Based on my own and my partners experiences.*)

Ghouls facing issues as they're learning a new language, just broken and choppy but doing their best to try and communicate. Always gets those fake smiles as they turn to a ghoul that been around longer "Could you translate for them?" Or even speaking to them like a child. "What is YOURRR naammee?" Just outright ignored if they try to get someone's attention bc that person doesn't want to 'struggle' with trying to understand even tho they're not even attempting.

Swiss having to learn to do his own hair and more styles as the stylists didn't know how to even work with his hair type. They just shaved it and he was MORTIFIED. Always labeled as aggressive by passer-byers and being followed around in stores while Dew is left alone and even approached with friendly service. Being stopped twice and accused of shoplifting and trying to defend himself only to, once again, be marked as aggressive and hostile.

Dew terrified to come out about anything he experienced bc he's heard the whispers about other people coming out. "Well what did she do to deserve it?"//"He must've led her on."//"That's what happens when you drink!" So he just stays quiet and never speaks up about anything, just forced to deal with it on his own even after he confided in Aether and Mountain as he's scared they think that of him.

Shit SUCKS. While there have been improvements through the years, unions, changes made with each Papa, it doesn't always stop it. Unfortunately, discrimination will always be around. 🫠

[boringkate]

I watched Lena Dunham's Sharp Stick (2022) with a babe last month. Which I absolutely loved!!!

It's never explicitly acknowledged, but the main character is clearly supposed to be (despite the producers claiming otherwise) in some way neurodivergent. Or something. She's meek and impossibly sexually naive (to the point where me and the girl I watched it with had initially assumed the character was intended to be a child). Apparently they had approached an autism sexuality advocate to work as a consultant for the film before backpeddling.

Trans girls tend to be autistic.

The main character also had a hysterectomy (as did Lena Dunham).

Trans girls tend to be infertile.

She's shown taking estrogen.

Trans girls tend to take estrogen.

She becomes obsessed with porn and begins having one night stands with random men from the internet in hopes of finding validation by proving her sexual desirability.

Trans girls tend to do that shit.

It ends with her realizing and leaning into her impregnation fetish (while getting fucked by the one black guy she knows who had just brought over some 40s and called them homies and also while her black step sister's hands unexpectedly drift in from off screen to hold her because even when she managed to push it off to the last second Lena Dunham is incapable of being chill and normal about race).

Trans girls can't go ten seconds without making the same joke about how if you don't think you can get a trans girl pregnant then you just aren't trying hard enough (and the frequent fetishization of black men in trans and especially neighboring sissy communities can't really be denied).

Also the bartender is played by Tommy Dorfman (a trans woman) with it being her first time playing a character with a girl name.

But I'm not trying to suggest it's intentionally a movie about the tgirl excperience. That would be silly. Really the takeaway should be that (no matter how varied women's lives may be) we (trans women and cis women etc) can still always find common ground and shared excperiences. We're all in this together.

But anyways I was looking at Lena Dunham's Instagram yesterday (I've been off and on again rewatching Girls, so she's stayed on my mind).

One post features the music video she directed starring famed trans girl Hari Nef.

Another post shows that she recently read trans boy Elliot Paige's memoir Paige Boy.

Another post shows a conversation she had with Jon Bernthal (on his podcast) where she explains the word cis to him and talks about having also explained it to her husband (this is the only clip from her appearance on the podcast that she chose to post).

BTW did you know that she was an executive producer for the 2021 show Genera+ion (which I recall featuring a trans boy actor playing a cis boy character who gets a girl pregnant).

Fascinating!

Meanwhile. Ten years earlier. In 2013 (a year into my transition and a year before Time declared that we've reached the trans tipping point) an episode of Girls features a doorman telling one of the titular Girls that "a tranny walked in last time and he was just walking around the floors, but it was nothing." (lmao)

UPDATE: s05e02 features a "did you just assume my pronouns" bit. (in a way that felt reactionary and gross because the theyfab saying it was an absurd hipster barista that the audience isn't intended to sympathize with)

UPDATE UPDATE: s06e02 features the leader of a group for women entrepreneurs saying "For those of you asking on our Facebook if the group is open to trans women: The answer is: We don't know. Okay?" (which I thought was fun)

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: s06e03 (the literal next episode) "I even went to a couple of hookers and one of them had a dick."

[bijouxcarys]

I didn't have anywhere else to kind of talk about this, and I need to get it out of my system somehow, so I'm just putting this on here. Maybe someone can relate to it?

TW/ self-harm, suicidal ideology, please don't read this if it's going to potentially trigger you.

If you don't think this will trigger you, I still suggest you read on. Anyone around you could be experiencing this right now, and it's a very real thing.

Here's the reality of living as an adult with autism, who wasn't diagnosed until the age of 18.

It fucking sucks. To put it mildly.

Growing up as an undiagnosed autistic child is difficult. Especially if you are beaten down verbally by everybody to the point where you believe that you are, in fact, a bad kid. I'm convinced that's had a hand in why I'm so paranoid about my relationships with people. If I'm doing something to upset or annoy them.

You spend your entire childhood being told that you're the problem, when you're just trying to fucking survive in a world that's hard enough to live in without the added stress of developmental disorders, and you're going to believe for the rest of your life that you're the problem.

That is, unless you're able to go and see a therapist or counsellor.

Which leads me to my next point: we are conditioned to believe that we aren't allowed to ask for help, because we can never take on the advice anyways! 18 years of being told that I'm being dramatic, by my own counsellor as well, definitely dampens your willingness to attend any kind of talk therapy.

You get trauma building up over time from the rejection sensitivity, the amount of friend groups you plow through, the anxiety and depression that come as a result of how your brain is wired. It's not even that you have depression or anxiety; a lot of the time, they are symptoms of our autism. But they don't care. They'll feed us antidepressants.

I've been on antidepressant medication for a long time now. I'd argue about 6 years. I'm 22 now, on 200mg of sertraline daily. Last year I tried to come off my medication. Big mistake. Realised I'm kind of fucked without it.

Back in 2019, I used to take my antidepressant in liquid form because I had a sensitivity to swallowing pills. One day, my inability to read social cues and communicate effectively with my friends led me to drink the whole bottle of Fluoxetine.

When you're undiagnosed with autism and you have to go through regular life every day, it's damaging. So dangerous to the mental health of the child. The more we are put in situations that can overstimulate us, and overwhelm us, the more it takes from your ability to cope with life. You get beaten down, and beaten down, and beaten down, until you're an emotionless entity wandering the Earth with no solid ambitions or aspirations. You've spent your entire life in defense mode, mirroring everyone's behaviour and personalities so that you feel the tiniest bit "normal" out of pure survival, that you lose a sense of who you are as a person. You feel stripped of your personality. You don't know what you're doing.

Then you get thrust into the real world. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I don't know how to survive in a world that isn't made for me. I don't know how to tell people I'm autistic, because a) they very rarely understand what I mean by that, and what it entails, and b) I don't even know enough about my autism.

Why? Because I wasn't diagnosed until just before I turned 18 - got discharged from CAMHS (Child and Adolescence Mental Health Service) once I turned 18, with no referral to a counsellor that could help me, and no information on what the fuck I should do next.

I've stayed in education because it's the only thing I know how to survive. I went to college, university, and now I'm doing a master's degree online. And I still don't really know what my goal is in life.

I have no friends, and I flip-flop between being upset about it and being absolutely fine with it. I don't leave the house, I don't work, I even struggle to do the most basic of daily tasks.

I'm constantly fantasising about a life I could have, but ultimately realise I can't have.

My brain is fucked up, and I am traumatised by the life I've had to live and survive in. And now I'm stuck in survival mode.

And I don't know how to live, instead of simply exist.

That's where the suicidal ideology comes in. I'm constantly thinking about how much easier everything would be if I did just off myself. But the thing is, I'm not actively planning it, but the thought brings me great comfort. There's always a way out. And I can't expect that I'll leave this world any other way.

Now... when an autistic person, or any person, tells you that they don't want to die, but thinking about killing themselves brings them a sense of comfort and contentment... there's something wrong there.

There's nothing I want more than to start living. But when it takes 110% of my energy to do the bare minimum... living becomes synonymous with existing.

Not being taught how to deal with the meltdowns, the overstimulation, the understimulation, the food sensitivities, the way the world functions... has fucked me up, for myself, and for everyone else around me.

And when given the choice between spending the rest of my life putting all my energy into living the way I do now, and killing myself and saving myself from the pain, the latter sounds far more enticing.

I don't want to die. But to live is too much of an enigma to want anything other than the silence.

[self-dx-culture-is]

Welcome Post

This blog is inclusive of everyone who has a self-dx! All submissions should start with "Self dx/diagnosed culture is" (or a more specific version, such as "self dx autistic culture is").

I will ignore any posts asking me to diagnose them (as I'm not qualified), and I request that no one ask for help in self-diagnosis either. If I can find reliable resources, I will link them below, under the cut.

Feel free to vent, but let me now so I can tag it appropriately. If you would like, you may also request that reblogs and/or comments be turned off for that post.

Anons are welcome!

EDIT:

Since we've been getting some lately, I wanted to state that while I have nothing against sending people financial aid, that is not the purpose of this blog and we personally are uncomfortable sending money over the internet due to paranoia. If we start getting too many, we probably will start deleting them as it's somewhat stressful to even post them for others to see the request. This is not directed at anyone and is just a general statement so everyone is aware.

---

Claimed Anons may be found here(link)!

My Extensive (/sarc) DNI

NSFW content and blog followers (this makes us very uncomfortable)

If you come here just to spread hate or fakeclaiming, including anyone who uses "narc/histrionic/antisocial/borderline abuse" or uses "[all Cluster B terms]", "delusional", "insane", etc. as insults or otherwise misuses them.

Anyone who encourages harm relating to any disorder (e.g. pro ana, pro contact)

Transid (Transabled, transage, transrace, etc.). People with BIID are not included in this and are welcomed to interact.

(More may be added if incidents arise.)

About the Blog Owner:

We are an endogenic system and may be collectively called (the) Werewolf Pack. Our collective pronouns are She/They.

We have professionally diagnosed Amblyopia, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and Avoidant Personality Disorder. We have self-diagnosed Synesthesia and Visual Snow Syndrome, and are questioning Schizotypal Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Autism, and ADHD.

Base Account: @kpopwerewolf(link)

Tagging System:

All posts will either be tagged as either "self dx culture is" or "not culture is"

All triggers are tagged as: "tw [trigger]"

Vents are tagged as both: "tw vent" & "vent"

Positivity posts are tagged as: "positivity"

Negative posts are tagged as both: "negative" & "negativity"

Discourse/Syscourse will be tagged as: "tw discourse / "tw syscourse"

Tagging for promo: @paranoia-culture-is, @abnormalcultureis, @ndcultureis, @adhd-culture-is, @adhd-culture--is, @autism-culture-is. @autistic-culture-is, @depression-culture-is, @disabled-culture-is, @dyslexia-culture-is, @dyscalculia-culture-is, @no-empathy-culture-is, @ocd-culture-is, @posic-culture, @tourettes-culture-is, @schizospec-culture-is, @schizotypalpd-culture-is, @schizoid-culture-is, @schizopositivity, @synesthete-culture-is, @cluster-a-pds, @cluster-c-pds-culture-is, @cluster-b-culture-is, @ppd-culture-is, @aspd-culture, @bpd-culture-is, @hpdcultureis, @narcissisticpdcultureis, @avpdcultureis, @dpdcultureis

(If you want your link removed let me know!)

Resources:

DSM-5.pdf - Google Drive(link)

(Plurality:)

https://morethanone.info/(link)

What Is Plurality? – Plurality Resource(link)

powertotheplurals.com | Resource & articles for everymany - Dissociative identity disorder and other forms of plurality.(link)

More will be added as found! Feel free to suggest resources you've found helpful yourself!

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 1

Oh boy! It's my first time reading this series that took Tumblr by storm. I can't wait to read about the adventures of Laios and Marcille and Chilchuck and...

who?

What do you mean there's a badass warrior lady in the party? Why did no one tell me this?

Actually, she's kinda struggling.

And she quit the team? This is the worst series ever!!

All jokes aside, the first chapter isn't wasting any time to give us the basic plot setup. The very first page gives us the bare details to give the plot an excuse to exist. By the third page, we've been given a rundown of the primary struggle the protagonists will have to overcome. By the seventh page, we have the personal reason for our protagonists to go on this journey.

So the dungeon is a great kingdom from 1000 years ago sealed away by a magician. And the reason people are exploring it is because whoever kills the magician inherits the kingdom.

I don't think the ruler of ruins is as grand a title as it sounds. This sounds like the setup to lure victims in to charge a lich's phylactery. But hopefully the story will give us more detail later.

I'm loving how the story goes over the actual logistics that would have to go into exploring an unknown area. Seriously, nothing ever talks about toilet paper.

Laios suggested Marcille and Chilchuck leave the guild so he could sell their equipment. So I guess there is an adventurer's guild that they have to be registered before being allowed to use their gear or explore the dungeon.

I guess it's more a means to get in contact with other adventurers and find job offerings and not really a union since it doesn't offer a means to rescue anyone or provide any necessities.

You have to already have money to make money as an adventurer. It's not an option for poor people.

This is a cute shot.

Laios did not hesitate to suggest they start eating monsters. He's coming up with every excuse he can to justify it because he's embarrassed that he just wants to know how they taste.

I do like the simple justification that there must be a natural food chain in the dungeon for creatures to survive in it and therefore people should be able to sustain themselves in there as well.

The first of what I imagine will be many tantrums from Marcille. She's so different from chapter 0 where she wasn't bothered at all and seemed to even enjoy eating monsters.

Senshi had been listening when Laios suggested eating monsters and was just looking for an opportunity to introduce himself. I can just imagine he was minding his own business when he suddenly heard Laios talk about eating monsters and Senshi just inched closer and closer into the conversation until the autistic need to talk about his special interest overtook every inhibition he had. Especially when Laios was doing it wrong.

That's a pretty cool concept for a slime. I guess it's based on a slug with how it has a foot for moving around. The actual body is super transparent. When Senshi killed it, he was grabbing at a certain spot in the slime. I guess he was feeling for where the slime was most firm so he knew where to stab the actual body.

Someone asked if the dungeon has been around for ten years. I'll have to make a note of that if it ever comes up.

The chapter is not being completely consistent with what anyone's hands are doing at a given moment. For example, Laios pulled his monster manual out of his armor using his left hand while holding the mushroom monster in his right, but then he handed the manual to Chilchuck using his right hand. Later, Laios was using his left hand to try carving the mushroom, but in the next panel, he's using his right instead.

My best guess is Laios and Marcille are right-handed while Senshi is ambidextrous. He cut the slime and chopped the scorpion using his left hand, but he cut and chopped the tree branches with his right.

Laios definitely prefers holding things in his left hand and his sword is placed for right-handed use. Marcille holds her staff in either hand depending on the situation. If she expects combat, it's in her right hand, otherwise it's in her left.

I haven't seen Chilchuck do anything of note with his hands, but I'm guessing he's right-handed since that's the hand he was holding utensils with.

Note to self: Don't read this series while hungry.

back

[randomgooberness]

👀 Gordon amputation HCs? (If you don't mind talking about them!)

Y;HES

ok disclaimer: I am not an amputee! I am not a medical professional! I am not a prosthetic maker! I am not an engineer! I am simply an autistic writer and artist who has had a webcomic with an amputee character for 5+ years and I have done my research- but PLEASE if you like these headcanons and use it as advice for writing amputees I would also suggest listening to other sources, too!

The prosthetic:

-the arm ends about maybe like five inches under the wrist- which makes it just enough to get basic prosthetics going. Something a LOT of people don't consider is how much space you need to get robotics in there!

-This is the case for everyones(?i have yet to see otherwise) headcanons whether they know it or not but he specifically has a myoelectric prosthetic- which in itself is an EXTREMELY high-tech one! What it does is it detects electricity(YES! YOUR MUSCLES HAVE ELECTRICITY IN THEM!) from the muscles under your skin and amplifies them to be movement!

I would actually HIGHLY suggest people do research into these prosthetics because they are SUPER cool but also not as good as you think they are! That being said:

-He cannot feel with it and has to guess how hard he has to grip something! There's research for prosthetics like this, but they're extremely faulty and- if anyone wants to correct me on this that's fine but I'm pretty sure- it would need Constant upkeep and repairs, ESPECIALLY if it could feel like a normal hand.

-at first he only used it when he went out and when he was doing something that might need two hands Because of this- he didn't really wear it much around the house. Not to mention like...he went from losing it, to an immediate gun arm, to suddenly having a prosthetic- whiiiich. Isn't good for the psychological part of a traumatic amputation! So yeah he didn't really like it all too much at first. Don't get me wrong it was a great tool and he appreciated it over no hand especially because he could actually properly articulate the fingers but...it also just. Was jarring.

-eventually, he and Dr. Coomer teamed up to make it more adaptable, and by that I mean a fucking pirate-ass thing where he could swap out his hand for other things like forks or electric screwdrivers or like. Anything. They like to get together to make new hands on the weekend. It's enrichment. With these add-ons he wore the prosthetic more, but sometimes he just. prefers taping a fork to his limb and calling it a day.

-^this hc is based off of adaptive devices that people make to work with whats left of the limb instead of trying to replace it! They range from other robotics to something plastic and/or 3d printed that just holds a pencil in place. From what I've researched they tend to be more liked than clunky fingers you cant feel lol

-IF THERE IS ANY ADVICE YOU GLEEN FROM THIS: please please please he doesn't sleep with his prosthetic on he SHOULD NOT SLEEP WITH HIS PROSTHETIC ON. DO NOT SLEEP WEARING YOUR PROSTHETIC- this also goes for just chilling out ect. Do you "chill out" in your jeans with a belt on?

-I've said it a few times already but I DO want to encourage other people who draw art or write fics that it's OKAY if his prosthetic doesn't work like a perfect, new hand and in fact is more realistic and something that should be done more often! It's very common to want to write off an amputees disability with "ok now they have a prosthetic they're all better <3" which isn't true at all and it really IS worth it to do some extra research- I might just have an engineering and medical special interest so it might just be me but its SUPER fun to learn things and it makes it more interesting writing how a character interacts with their disability!

The amputation/specifics(WARNING FOR TALK ABOUT GORE, OBVIOUSLY):

-I usually write/draw it being a combat knife because that's specifically what he mentions was used, but realistically it would've been something that could get through the suit itself. Either way, it was a really slow and painful process. Fun fact- while this is like...a debate in the medical field, the forearm is one of the most painful things in the body to break!

-Continuing from that last part, there ARE a lot of nerves in your forearm(ever hit your funnybone? yeah. yowch), as well as TWO bones. Arms and hands are SUPER complex so injuries are...just As complex!

-In the full VOD in act 3, Gordon mentions his suit cauterized it- which if you dont know what that is- it's basically Burning A Wound Shut. I can see this being the case, actually- seeing as the suit itself detects specific things in the body being injured- electricity IS a way to cauterize something. I want to point out that cauterization, however, is AGONIZINGLY PAINFUL and is SUPER DANGEROUS, even when controlled! He's SUPER lucky he didn't go into shock and die in his sleep lmao.

-Oh speaking of sleep. I said this in another post but it was sunset when they betrayed him- and daytime when he woke up. So he was asleep in the garbage compactor for hours.

-It's implied because he keeps talking about how he's still bleeding, but yeah even with the suit cauterizing the wound it wouldn't be fully shut. So he'd be bleeding a lot- ESPECIALLY if it didn't want to kill the nerves in his arm(which makes prosthesis easier in the future, via the myoelectric method I mentioned earlier).

-Because of this Tommy(and later Dr. Coomer and Bubby) had to make him make-shift wrappings and have him lean on them a lot. He lost a Lot of blood and by the time they found a fully functioning medical station it wasn't able to just...give him more. It could give him iron and such but yeah this guy has anemia.

-this is just a really funny note but in act 4 when he's leaving Darnolds lab in the VOD he goes "well I guess I'm able-bodied again!" NO YOU ARE NOT THAT IS GUNHAND. But anyways because of this statement, I think for the first few days after being without his arm hes like. oh im not really disabled though even though he is like. stereotypically disabled. sir

-Phantom pains and nightmares are. A nearly nightly combo.

-Whether they're triggered by something or not, phantom pains in general suck so so so so much. Just so much.

-He actually took a Long time to go to a doctor for his issues. Gordon. Buddy. Look Me In The Eyes. you can get medicine for your pain. you can take physical therapy. please . He wasnt even trying to like...tough it out like part of him was but it was mostly that he just. didnt know and forgot.

-it took him a really long time to trust Benrey touching where his hand used to be, but once they grew close post-rescas him and Tommy became Gordons go-to for phantom pain/itch help. slap my dumb arm thank you

Aaaand thats all I can think of at the moment! I might add on if I have any like. Sudden crushing things I need to say about him and my amputation hcs!

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

hello :) how are you ? i saw that you followed me, thank you by the way ! may i request a adhd!reader x thomas fanfic please ? They have a telepatic link together. She is mejack. Being in the glade wasn't easy for her because of the works, she needed to focus and being fast and it exhausted her also some gladers wasn't very nice to her so one day she has a ouburst and yell across the glade. Thomas her boyfriend was the first to comfort her.

sorry for my english im french

Hey! I'm doing pretty well, ty for asking

Yeah I looked at your page and saw maze runner, teen wolf, and taylor, so I absolutely had to follow ❤

Thanks for the request, I hadn't gotten to explore the telepathy thing from the books in my fics yet, so that was fun to write. Hope you enjoy!

Calm and Storm

Thomas x adhd!fem!reader

Set during tmr (movieverse)

Notes: I am not personally close with anyone with ADHD, so representation of ADHD in this fic is completely research-based, like my fic Tides which had an autistic reader. Let me know if anything should be changed.

More notes: I also added an emotional empathy-type bond on top of the telepathy thing. Canon divergence where Thomas is in the Glade for at least a few more weeks before everything happens i.e. Teresa coming, the Grievers attacking, all the stuff. it happens later.

Warnings: language, minor injuries, some asshole men and suggestive comments, I feel like it's not written that well :( hopefully it's ok

You remember the first time you met Thomas.

"And in here, we've got the Medjacks." Newt's voice floated in from the entrance.

You'd missed seeing the Box come up, cause one of the Gladers was sick and needed to be watched.

You turned and smiled at the new boy. "Hey, I'm Y/n."

You're a girl, you heard.

"You've got some stellar observation skills there," you said, smirking.

Thomas had looked surprised, and Newt looked between the two of you, confused.

"Uh- Y/n, what?"

...did Newt not hear what the Greenie said?

"Um... anyway, you here for a crash course on Medjacks?" You decided to just continue and skip over that weird exchange.

Little did you know that was the first of many telepathic conversations to come.

You found out about your mental link with Thomas the next night.

When he was stuck in the Maze with Minho, you'd called out to him in your mind, and been stunned when he responded.

After confusedly realising that you clearly had some sort of mental connection, you stayed up all night talking to him and supporting him.

Holy shit, I just killed a Griever

What the shuck? How is that even possible?

I ran and baited it until it was crushed between the walls.

You must've looked pretty strange that night, alone in the Medjack hut making hand gestures and facial expressions to nobody, and pacing around the room restlessly.

What're you doing now?

I'm with Minho, we need to get back to Alby.

Okay. Stay with me, alright? Just keep updating me.

Sure, oh- ohhhh shit!

What? What happened?

I just heard another Griever, I don't think I can kill another one, holy shit, what do we do-

Thomas! Calm down. Breathe. Focus on my voice.

Minho- Minho's saying something.

Okay, good, just follow him.

Shitshitshitshitshit

You realise you can feel emotions through the bond too, and Thomas' fear is spiralling straight into you.

Thomas?

Yeah, I'm here. Just say anything. Tell me about anything, just distract me.

Okay, you keep following Minho alright?

Yeah yeah, just talk to me so I don't hear the Grievers as much.

You got it.

You try to channel your own emotions too.

Hey, when you get back, I can ask Frypan to make pancakes.

There's pancakes in this place?

Only for special occasions. We put the good fruits on them and everything.

You mentally push as much comfort as you can through the bond. It feels weird, and you don't know if it works, until-

Hey, Y/n, is that you?

What?

I can feel like... calmness, or something. Are you doing that?

Shucking hell, it actually worked.

You just keep talking all through the night.

When he gets back, the two of you sort through how the bond works.

Basically, you can talk to each other through telepathy, and also send emotions through sometimes.

Usually, the emotions won't go if you don't push them across on purpose.

But, if it's strong enough, like Thomas' fear from that night, it'll be felt by the other person.

Having that bond brings you closer to Thomas, and before you know it you're practically attached at the hip.

You trade little jokes with each other during meetings and meals, and sometimes you chat while you're working.

⭒----⭒

It's a few weeks after Thomas arrives in the Glade that you start dating.

Boys had always tried to hit on you, cause you know, you're shuckin' pretty (and also hot, obviously), but you were never interested in any of them.

Until Thomas.

You started crushing on him when you became friends and got to know him better.

He makes you laugh, and his smile is intoxicating, and he has an insane knack for remembering the little things you mention in conversation.

Things you'd only mention once, for half a second, like bringing up the little flower garden by the lake.

But he still remembers.

And that's how he confessed his feelings to you.

You can still feel the nervousness coursing through the bond from him as he handed you a bundle of white flowers, smiling shyly.

Then you felt joy, both his and yours when you told him you liked him too, and you had your first kiss.

⭒----⭒

Aside from casual conversation and sharing emotions, the connection also helps you a lot, cause Thomas can feel when your frustration seeps through the bond, and he can come over to look after you.

As a Medjack, the work isn't always the best - sometimes it feels like you're fighting your own brain to do your job.

Most of your work includes sitting at a table in the Medjack hut and repetitively making cures for various ailments and injuries.

You often feel restless sitting at that desk, finding it hard to force yourself to stay seated and focus on the task.

That's not to say you're bad at your job.

You make the most effective hangover cures the Glade has ever seen, and you can bandage a wound faster than both Jeff and Clint.

You just hate doing one thing for too long.

Oftentimes you'll impulsively switch to rolling bandages halfway through mixing fever medicine, or you'll be constantly fidgeting during the Medjack segment of council meetings.

Essentially, being a Medjack can be a lot sometimes.

Like today.

Most of the Gladers are good guys, but there's still a few that you loathe to treat.

There's a Builder, Derek, a grade-A asshole who can never stop sending you that smarmy, suggestive grin and making obscene comments about you and Thomas, as well as outright insulting your work.

Unfortunately, Derek is clumsy as klunk, and is always getting cut up on sharp pieces of wood.

He thinks being littered with scars is cool, and wears his stupid shirt with the sleeves obnoxiously cut off, because apparently having scratched up arms from being unable to stay on a ladder is a good look that must be shared with the world. (or just wear a singlet bro, you didn't have to cut up a t-shirt).

Anyways, Derek is once again injured, and is yelling at the Medjack hut from where he and another Builder are working on the council hall.

"Oi! Can we get some help over here? People are injured!" His grating voice cuts through the peace of the hut.

Clint looks up in concern. "Shuck, must be bad. Y/n, let's go take a look."

You take a breath to steady yourself. You've had a rough day already, dealing with some difficult Gladers, and having to treat Derek might just push you off the edge.

Plus, you only got like, two hours of sleep last night, so you're pretty exhausted.

You gather some supplies and rush out of the hut to where Derek is waiting.

He's sitting calmly on a rock, legs visibly uninjured.

Even Clint's annoyed at this point. "Couldn't've even walked to the hut?" he mutters.

There's blood dripping from Derek's shoulder, which; how do you even get injured there.

Medjacks treat all patients with care, you tell yourself, gritting your teeth.

"I'll take Derek, you take care of John," says Clint, clapping a hand on your shoulder. He leaves to grab a needle for stitches.

You nod gratefully; Clint's probably remembering your many rants about Derek in the huts.

You carefully examine John's sprained wrist, grabbing supplies to make a brace before bandaging the injury.

"Hey Y/n," calls Derek. "Any chance you can hurry up with that? I need some help here."

Clint must be stuck in the hut with something.

"Just. Wait." you say stiffly, through clenched teeth.

At this point, you're about one more comment away from taking a swing at Derek.

You feel your anger start to build as Derek steps closer.

Y/n?

Shuck, you're mad enough to alert Thomas.

It's fine, you send back.

"Seriously?" Derek's leaning over John's wrist right now, inspecting your brace. "It's just a sprain. How is this taking so long?"

"Dude, back off," says John.

You ignore Derek despite being ready to punch him. "You should ask Frypan for ice later," you tell John. "Don't work for at least the rest of the day okay? I'm gonna bandage it now."

"That's how you're leaving the brace?" Derek stares down at your work.

"Look, do you wanna do it?" you huff, before berating yourself for giving in and speaking to him.

"I guess your hands are busy doing other things for Thomas to practice doing actual medical work."

You stand abruptly, hands clenched furiously.

"What is your problem?" you exclaim. "Just shut the fuck up and leave me alone!"

"Woah there," says Derek, laughing a little. "Chill out girly."

You're actually seething by now, and-

Y/n!

What.

Hey, you're okay. What's wrong?

Nothing. It's fine.

You can almost hear him sigh half-fondly and half-exasperatedly through the bond. I'm comin' out of the Maze now. I'll be at the hut in two minutes.

"Uh- hello?" Derek waves his hand in your face.

You shove his hand away before bending to bandage John's wrist.

"Finally," says Derek when you're done. "Can you do my shoulder now?"

"No," you say flatly. "It's a minor cut. You can wait for Clint."

"Hey, I'm pretty sure it's your responsibility. I'd prefer to wait for Clint, too, but I-"

"Shucking hell, enough!" you shout, voice rising quickly. "Can't you just leave me alone, you piece of klunk! God, you're always looking for someone to bother, finding some way to annoy someone. What, do you just want attention? Please just get out of my face."

The Glade seems frozen, with people looking up from their work to watch.

Then a soft voice breaks the silence. "Hey," says Thomas. He comes up behind you and gives you that signature grin.

"Derek, a pleasure as always." He flips him off with one hand, using the other to take your hand, and you let him lead you into the Medjack hut.

"Clint," says Thomas. "There's a dickhead outside who needs stitches. Is it okay if you..."

"Oh shuck, sorry." Clint grabs the needle and thread he'd initially come in from. "Got distracted," he explains.

You snort. "I get that."

Clint leaves, leaving you and Thomas alone.

You take a seat on one of the beds, and he sits facing you in a stool.

He gently kicks out a leg, nudging you in the shin.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yeah," you say. "Just- you know."

"Just what?"

You sigh, scrubbing your face with a hand. "That was embarrassing."

Thomas looks at you incredulously. "Are you kidding? Everything you said was more than valid. Derek's just a horrible person, don't let him make you feel embarrassed."

"Yeah... but everyone was watching."

"I'd watch too. I'd watch the strongest, coolest, prettiest person in the Glade ripping into this sorry excuse for a human."

You huff out a laugh at his dramatics. "Thanks."

"Hey, c'mon." Thomas pulls you into a hug, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Wanna have dinner in the flower field today?"

"I'd love that," you reply, grinning.

Heyy I'm loving the diversity of readers in my asks lately. Thanks for sending this one ❤❤

Also, I know my tense is messed up in this one. I usually write in present but idk this one's just funky. Hope it was alright.

In general I'm a little unsure about how this fic turned out, I feel like the writing wasn't really good. This weekend was pretty hectic and I didn't get in the flow of writing :((( idk I hope it was still an enjoyable fic.

Anyway, is asshole Derek based on someone I know? nope just an oddly specific OC. in other news I have a family friend I always have to see at get togethers who loves making his furniture from scratch and can never stay safe while making his fucking chairs and lets us know proudly every time he has to go to the ER. he's a douche not a misunderstood hot guy trust me on that

[drdemonprince]

hello hello, i am autistic with my special interests being psychology and philosophy and because I'm super into activism and social justice issues as well a lot of my conversations with friends always go in the direction of talking about trauma and classism racism ableism, all the isms and i've had trouble keeping relationships because i'm a "bummer". i don't think im necessarily being negative or trauma dumping but i'm just talking about these things that i think about all the time that interest me and they just so happen to be very sad topics. while i know that i should embrace my special interests and enjoy them however i want i also am aware that constantly talking about sad things and everything wrong in the world is emotionally taxing and draining on the people around me. do you have any advice for helping to change subjects? i've tried talking about more light hearted things but they aren't my special interests and i get bored easily...

I relate to this a lot, and it's a problem I see play out in some of my relationships. Without meaning to, we sometimes get into a mutual downward spiral of only talking about bleak things.

My suggestion is to get you and your friends together for some activities. Not a video game that you can play passively while still discussing the looming threat of climate change or that horrible self-esteem ruining thing your dad once said. Challenging, dynamic, hands-on activities that either have to be discussed while you are doing them, or that are so labor intensive that they prevent you talking in depth while engaging in them.

many Autistics tend to be indoorsy nerds and so we miss out on the genuine bonding experience that is playing on a sports team with someone, for instance. You barely have to speak but you develop a real sense of trust in and gratitude for one another and learn to read one another on an instinctual feeling non verbal level. and you feel the genuine reward of accomplishing something with support, which is something many of us are not familiar with.

I'm uncoordinated as shit, i was in special ed gym, so im not saying it has to be joining the local intramural soccer team. It can be things like building a complicated lego set, organizing records or comic books, helping someone clean out their house, developing a wiki or database of some kind for a fandom or mutual interest, tending to a garden, volunteering at a soup kitchen, visiting a museum, babysitting someone's kids, power washing the deck, going for a jog, visiting an unfamiliar nature trail and documenting the plant life, giving someone a manicure, anything that is challenging and collaborative and ideally somewhat tactile (because most of us are really damn dissociated from our bodies and from physical space).

I used to really discount any form of connection that was not rooted in the exchange of ideas and really intense personal disclosures. I thought everything else was superficial, dull, and not "real". i was so incredibly fucking wrong. i love discussing complex topics and connecting over real raw shit with people but life cannot be all or only that. and there are real, valuable, loving connections to be found in getting a team together to tear down the sets after the end of a play, learning a complicated dance routine with somebody, having someone teach you how to sew for the very first time. and then talking about it. you wont like everything you try but some of these activities will hook you enough that theyll become an interest you can make pleasant conversation about too.