#I know I said I wouldn’t write about you again but this isn’t necessarily negative

[enrapture]

Your name haunts me more than anything else.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

About possessive people and question on if something counts as abuse or not?

I had a friend that was possessive of me when we were kids. She’d make excuses like “I’m helping pick out friends for you” or “this friend isn’t good for you” but honestly I couldn’t see why my friends weren’t good for me, the ones she picked out ended up being possessive too and kind of cruel at times, the ones she didn’t like ended up being good friends I lost contact with but she disagrees with this and thinks she was doing some good charity shit for me, the ones I had as a kid were really kind to me and we got along but the possessive friend wouldn’t let me have friends. Sometimes I wanted to hangout with my other friends alone because I didn’t like how much the possessive friend hovered over me. She would get angry and accuse me of excluding her but I really wasn’t trying to do that to hurt her, I just wanted space. Did she abuse me? Is it bullying? I feel like it negatively impacted my life a lot as a kid makes me upset I’ve lost friends bc of her. I have no friends nowadays and it is partially because she was so jealous and also spiteful toward me for excluding her that she talked shit behind my back that I was some shitty friend…

Hi anon,

I'm not sure if your experiences would necessarily be described as bullying or abusive, but it's certainly manipulative and toxic. It sounds like this possessive friend isolated you from genuine friends and only allowed other possessive or toxic friends to be in the social circle. You are allowed to have whatever friends you want and it's not up to another friend to necessarily tell you who you can or can't be friends with, especially if they don't have a good reason (it would be different if your friend had said "I don't feel comfortable that you're friends with x person because they did x abusive thing, I can't force you not to be friends with them but if you continue being friends with them then I won't be friends with you" or something). It's also okay to hang out with different friends at different times, and it's not necessarily exclusive of other friends.

I don't know the specific circumstances of these genuine friends that this possessive friend made you cut off, but it's possible to consider writing them messages explaining the context and offering to be friends again (the worst they can say is no).

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[javic-piotr-thane]

“Like I think just personality wise, Gwen is the most capable leader “

i don’t strictly disagree, much in the same way i don’t disagree that ianto wouldn’t thrive in taking command, and ive said ab my communist theory just now haha

i think my opinion is probably tempered by how i see gwen? which is someone who will take charge & lead but often won’t make the most sensible decisions because she’s too swayed by her emotions (which isn’t necessarily bad, but i think torchwood leadership needs to be more cynical than emotional)

i know these are s2, but i’m thinking of the things that have confused me in her actions (very simplified) - in sleeper, she refuses to promise beth that they will not unfreeze her if they can’t fix her, something beth is clearly terrified about happening (given she kills herself at the end); and in meat she potentially jeopardises people because of her worry for rhys. i also would say the fairies thing too but the majority if not all of the team were upset by that (which i also don’t really understand, perhaps its my autism lol) so that one is more useless as a point here.

there absolutely are moments she excels, but i think chronologically between s1 & 2 she isn’t quite there yet. but yeah, again, odds are none of the others particularly cared to lead and so she was the best option (in that she perhaps did want to lead) but it always struck me as a little odd the newest torchwood agent became the highest ranking one

i think the fairies thing ("how can you give the child to them?!" uhh the child wants to go?? and also otherwise there would be untold revenge??) stumped a lot of people, you're definitely not alone there - i think the writers aimed for a more emotional response from viewers but that didn't quite happen in my impression :''D

and that's actually a good example for a lot of things, like Gwen the main character = the character most of the audience is supposed to relate to. but many (most?) don't.

Gwen is RTD's baby, she's the main character, of course she's in charge. she took over from Suzie who was Jack's Second, and therefore gets to be Second pretty quickly as well. apparently. also main characters have to be special and/or leader characters, that's just how it be. (something something it took Star Trek over 50 years to have a show with a main character who's not captain. only to make her captain later.)

but.... let's take a stop here maybe, because even writing this, i can feel myself slipping back into the negativity i've held for a long time regarding Gwen's... special position in Torchwood, both canon and in the bts and meta sense. and i unironically think leaving that behind was the hardest but also the best thing i've ever done in this fandom. because yeah there's gripes to be had. but i really don't want to be bitter, you feel?? i want to think about and enjoy an interpretation of Gwen (and everyone else, for that matter) that makes me happy and not angry or upset. partially born from fanon, partially born from a mix-up of all the different flavors of canon we have received over the years.

speaking of, regarding the novels; you don't have to rush to read them or anything. some are quite good, but some are something else :''D in fact i think i unintentionally spiralled into a lot of Gwen negativity (i don't like to say Gwenbashing because i like to think i never got that horrible on this blog, but if someone wants to use that term for some of my older posts ig that's fair) back when i first read those, (particularly but not only 12, 13 and 14) because holy fucking hell Gwen's characterisation there is. is not okay at times. everyone is mischaracterized at times in the books but Gwen's bits definitely had the biggest impact on me by far and in the worst way. so maybe. stay away :'D (or only read the first eight for a start, they're decent and have all the people. so double win!)

[portmantaur]

Veilguard spoilers, general critical/negativity about BioWare, u kno how it is

I know some ppl are upset about the Major Story Beats and I am too for various reasons, but I don’t agree that this wasn’t where the story was headed — particularly, I see people complaining about the mythal/solas dynamic and im like?? Did y’all never drink of that fuckin pool of knowledge as the inquisitor? The way solas opines, “you are mythal’s creature, now” — baby that was foreshadowing that wasn’t even subtle!!! I don’t LIKE where the story has gone necessarily, especially given how the elves/dalish have been framed throughout the games, but this is DEFINITELY the story outline that was laid out by the time inquisition was over. The writing and pacing are just really bad, so these beats feel even LESS fulfilling than they otherwise would have.

Its interesting bc I’m having fun being back in the dragon age setting, but the writing/structure/pacing is such a distinct falloff, even from DAI — which I still liked, a lot even, with my main Dalish-based caveats still withstanding.

But Gaider and Weekes were ALWAYS like this re: marginalization/oppression. They ALWAYS have been. And I see some ppl being like “this wouldn’t have gone this way if daddy Gaider was here” and I’m like??? Y’all remember the Dalish origin from DAO? Remember how that ENTIRE origin revolves around the blighted eluvian that kills your best friend with the actual literal blight??? This was the plan from jump!! The writing teams were still invested and not unskilled or untalented, so it was a little less opaquely shitty, but not by much. It was ALWAYS going to be a story by white people trying to make analogous statements about real-world oppression, particularly racial oppression, that was ALWAYS going to hit with the twist of “but what if they deserved it/come from Bad People” — because, again, Weekes and Gaider are cut from the same cloth. And they’ve been very transparent about that with their behavior towards fans.

like sorry but this was always going to be the “endgame” so to speak, and my gut feeling/reading of the situation is that mostly what we got with Veilguard is a game that was originally intended to be a live-service game, and the story structure and writing and pacing were never revamped from that intention even after supposedly “rebuilding” the game from the ground up after that decision was nixed (like twice or something, no?). I mean that’s also obviously why the stylistic redesign choice is so obviously Fortnite-y — there were clear clashes with higher ups/execs on what the game was materially supposed to be (fully fledged franchise installment vs eternal cash cow), and BW has been hemorrhaging employees for a while now likely at least in part as a result of that.

Veilguard was always going to be this re: major story beats, but because of the particular development hell it went through, we’ve got a much more obvious case of enshittification across the board. as a live service game, the story structure got incredibly flattened, and no one bothered to make the decision to redo -that- aspect of the game, so we’re getting a peek behind the curtain that hasn’t been as accessible before. But I mean look at it even in comparison to Andromeda — BW has come out and said, afaik, that there are no plans for DLC or expansions at all. They’ve fully thrown in the towel on the franchise, and it would have gone this way regardless of who was in charge of writing, because the story outline, IMO, has very obviously NOT changed that much in many years. The biggest changes came at the executive level of decision making, and someone up top seems to have come to the conclusion that DA isn’t a money-making franchise anymore. Which, yeah, that’s stupid for sure, but that decision is borne of the same frame of mind that thought structuring Veilguard as a live service game in the first place was a good idea.

anyway, I do believe we’re at a crossroads where we are either witnessing BW’s uncomfortable swan song, OR there is going to be a changing of the (executive) guard again in an attempt to revitalize the company. But to revitalize DA as a franchise — while I see it as perfectly doable, even after this mess — would require such dedication and humility on the part of BW that I just don’t see it as likely.

I think the next ME is going to be what really allows us to call it, but I’m putting my bet in now that it’s the nail in the coffin. RIP BioWare, you were a beautiful and awful mess while you lasted.

[distort1xn]

life is honestly the weirdest thing any of us could possibly go through.

i had bronchitis a few weeks back, took my meds, felt better for weeks, and now my chest is acting up for reasons i couldn’t even begin to explain to you. during this time, however, i rediscovered a writer i absolutely adore and have been binging her books like a total fanatic. last night, when i woke up in the throws of actual suffocation due to my chest simply having closed up completely, it was her writing i turned to to keep me sane while i sat around at 2AM, waiting for some kind of relief when my meds wouldn’t work.

changing the context, but not the topic.

i got a promotion at work a few months back. i work in finance and i’m quite good at my job, but i inherited an unprofitable book of clients from an ex-colleague and have been fighting an uphill battle ever since. fighting that battle, though, hasn’t been nearly as anxiety-inducing as this promotion. not because i am in danger of losing said promotion, but because it was given to me by my sister and brother-in-law and i really don’t want to mess this up for them. they are applying exactly zero pressure and expect nothing of me other than to do my job the way i was already doing it, but lately i’ve just been fighting work stress like a motherfucker.

more context change.

my baby brother (24) is getting married soon. 14th of september, to be exact. long gone are the expectations that i, as the eldest sibling (my sister is a year older, but we also honorarily adopted her well into adulthood), should be married off and living in domestic bliss by now. my family is well aware that marriage, kids and suburban banality is not my idea of happy-ever-after. but i still feel pressure. i still feel like i should’ve made something of my life by now. not necessarily emotionally, but in some other significant way. i am painfully aware that this is my (extremely likely) thrice neurodivergent ass measuring myself by neurotypical standards. i know, okay? not to mention, we have another brother, between the ‘baby’ and i (he’ll be 26 in december) who isn’t anywhere near marriage yet, either. he has a business that did quite well for a while, but shifting socio-economic factors in our country has made him a bit strapped for cash, too, as of late. so, we’re in the same boat. but i’m not judging him – just myself.

add to this that my mother is seemingly utterly clueless about any sort of trauma whatsoever, because she just sent me a puff piece article about my ex music teacher who was so beyond abusive i can’t even utter his name without getting a panic attack so severe, all the king’s benzos and all the king’s zen couldn’t put me back together again. the man’s abuse of me was emotional, mental and sexual, and i have literally never recovered. 12 years down the line and i have probably uttered his name maybe a handful of times. but, sure, mom – you’re right: i haven’t rehashed those 2 years of trauma in a while. thanks so much for reminding me!

things just haven’t felt ‘normal’ for a while now. i feel scrutinised and weird and like i’m walking on eggshells around myself. i feel like i’m letting people down, even when no one has any expectations of me beyond what i’m already doing. maybe it’s imposter syndrome. anyone who knows me knows that if ‘negative interoception’ was something that could exist on a scale of ‘good’ to ‘bad’, that’d be where i’d fall.

i just wish i could find some way back to myself. i’m watching myself slip into old, bad habits in survival mode, and i don’t need to be here. i’m not in any ‘danger’.

life is weird. emotions are hard. living becomes surviving without any one of us noticing far too easily. help.

[positivlyfocused]

What Happens When Life Delivered a Cool Gift To My Client Wanting Love

My Advanced clients are so inspiring. Even when they struggle, they create for themselves the Charmed Life. Being Positively Focused Advanced clients, most of them catch when they do this. Still, it can feel like a painful struggle. That’s only because they need more practice. More practice that solidifies their Positively Focused foundations.

An Advanced client today shared a story prompting this post. She’s progressing nicely. Her biggest desire for now is manifesting her lover. But she has many disempowering beliefs in the way. So her path to the lover is really bumpy.

And yet, today she shared a story indicating her progress. Even though she told her story through tears. Now, tears aren’t what people think they are. Tears are manifestations. They represent release of resistance. So crying isn’t a bad thing. Nor is it sad. It’s actually good. It only feels sad because we’re taught that it is sad.

As she told her story, she felt much better. That’s no surprise. Being sad is impossible when one stands in witness to their unfolding Charmed Life.

Here’s the story she told.

A fabulous experience of inner awareness

She’s currently getting to know a guy I’ll call “David”. David has a child from a previous marriage. He and my client, I’ll call “Jill”, were texting. Today is Jill’s birthday and it isn’t a good one according to her. That’s because she perceives herself as alone (she’s not). And she think she’s getting older, which, for her is a terrible thing. It’s terrible because the older she gets, she thinks the less time she has to find and enjoy her lover. In such beliefs, Jill can’t possibly feel happy and optimistic.

Which is why sometimes she’s not happy and optimistic.

Jill didn’t remember the wonderful nature of her sadness. That sadness is telling her something important. As we talked about that, naturally, Jill’s mood improved. Again, a human can’t be sad while standing in appreciation or empowerment, and as we talked that’s where I lead her.

Once getting there, she remembered what happened between her and David. Remembering this story in itself was a manifestation. She wouldn’t have recalled it had her mood not improved. So the story returning to her memory told her something important too. That’s another story though.

David is very busy. Not only does he have a child, he also works a lot. And, this weekend, the weekend of Jill’s birthday, he’s moving. So he’s doubly busy. David asked Jill if he could see a photo of her. She suggested they swap candid shots. So Jill, who was at a coffee drive-through, pulled out of the drive-through. She drove down the road then pulled over. There she snapped a couple pics. Then she sent them to David.

If you believe it long enough it becomes true

As is typical with text apps, Jill saw that David got her pics. Then she saw that familiar three dots at the bottom of the chat indicating that David was writing something. But he never sent that message. Here’s what happened next in Jill’s own words:

“At that moment,” She said. “I knew there were good reasons why he didn’t reply to my pics. But I made up really negative, really bad reasons why he didn’t. Reasons having to do with my appearance.”

“He didn’t like how I looked, I thought,” She said. “He thought I was fat. Or thought I looked too masculine.”

As Jill thought these thoughts, she said, her mood got more and more negative. Before long, she was angry and sad.

“I totally believed what I was thinking,” She said. “I just knew what I was thinking was true.”

Jill’s persistent negative talk has been around a while. So there’s a lot of momentum behind those beliefs. She knew what she was thinking wasn’t necessarily true. And yet, she thought she knew for a fact that they were true. In other words, her reality was confirming her persistent beliefs. After all, she had been in situations like this before. Situations where men ghosted her after she sent a pic.

In those situations, though, she never found out the real reason why they disappeared. So getting no explanation, she made up her own. This she repeated over and over, in situation after situation. Until her explanations became “truth” for her.

Anything we believe will prove true. Believe it long enough and, eventually, we’ll manifest evidence confirming the belief.

Creating deliberately

This is why I advise clients not to look at what’s true. Especially if what’s true isn’t what’s wanted. Instead I encourage them to look towards what they want. That’s because, for most of us, what’s true is inconsistent with our desires. So looking at what’s true causes that which is inconsistent with our desires to persist. Getting what we want, therefore, requires looking where our desires are. That place I call nonphysical.

Perceiving nonphysical is crucial to manifesting what we want. That’s why I spend so much time teaching how to do that in Positively Focused sessions. We can’t see nonphysical with our eyes though. We must learn to “see” it differently. When we do, we have our hands on powerful levers. Levers allowing us to create reality deliberately.

Jill knew what she was doing. Though convinced her beliefs were true, she said she was aware that she was creating a reality she didn’t want. Which is why when David finally did text her, she was not surprised: David had been busy, apologized for his delay and complimented her on her pics.

Jill said this was a powerful lesson for her. “I have to learn to rewire my thoughts so they’re more positive,” She said. I agree.

^^In every case, the love we want that hasn’t shown up hasn’t because beliefs we hold keep it away. (Photo Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash)

Transforming the future

Being aware of what we’re doing when we’re creating unwanted is another crucial skill. Developing it first requires understanding how reality becomes reality. Then we use our awareness to interrupt that process. Then we learn to direct the process deliberately. That’s what Jill described.

That she knew what she was doing was awesome. That she used that awareness to improve herself was the cool gift the Universe gave her. Had she not had the experience and awareness, the gift would have slipped through her fingers.

We talked about different stories she could tell in place of automatic beliefs activated by habit. We can literally make up any story that feels better. It doesn’t have to be true. It just needs to feel better. In time, it will become true.

He lost his phone.

Someone stole his phone.

The phone got run over.

He’s just busy right now.

These four stories feel better than those Jill told herself. The third made Jill laugh. That was a great sign. All of them are not true. Except the last one. Yet they all had Jill feeling better. And that’s the goal.

By practicing this skill on any topic we automatically think negative thoughts about, we transform our future. We make the future compliant with out desires. Do that often enough and we’ll find the future including more of what we want.

What we want therefore becomes a foregone conclusion. They must manifest. That’s just how the Universe works.

Words aren’t as convincing as creating results in your own life that prove this. Maybe you’re ready to do that. Contact meand let’s get you on that path. Life is constantly gifting us. The only question is: are you receiving the gifts?

[x-reader-things]

THANK YOU SO MUCH????

Oml I can’t really put stuff into words properly rn about how mud I appreciate it but I love your thoughts on it and AGSHDHJFFN-

Ezra’s worrying and writing emotions from his perspective - and anyone else’s for that matter - is so fun to explore and expand upon. Like we see it in the show, he worries and he’s SUPER protective of the people he’s close to, but he’s not completely over bearing about that care unless it’s for good reason since he KNOWS the people he surrounds himself with can take care of themselves.

And he’s seen it too, the boy isn’t too worried about Reader on that end-

ALSO IT’S THE LITTLE TOUCHES THAT GENUINELY MAKE ME SOFT TOO AND AGDHFNJFN THE PINKY HOLDS ARE MY FAVORITE TOO AND THAT HC IS AMAZING I LOVE THAT-

Back to Ezra’s feelings again, he really wouldn’t go too big in terms of like - explosive jealousy with stuff like this, or possessive-ish jealousy like we sometimes see in ff’s [not that those are a bad thing but we’ve seen the first season of Star Wars rebels, he isn’t that big on reacting. He’s subtle with that even as a younger teenager-] and I’m thankful that things is in character to others too??? bc that is one of my biggest fears with writing stuff like this, being out of character-

The Star Wars franchise made a mistake by adding in the internal dilemmas of being a Jedi I will be using that to my advantage /j /hj AGSHDNFJFNF-

Plus they’re really interesting to write and Ezra is my favorite character - he never really had much of an on screen talk about attachment as a Jedi, but he did have a version of the ‘negative feelings + using force with said feelings is bad’ part bc of what happened towards the middle-ish?? Part of the first season, and it’s been a reoccurring theme throughout most of the show with him too- favorite things to think about and explore, honestly-

Also yes, Sabine and Hera my beloveds- <333 two of the best Star Wars women fr-

And yeah I would’ve decked Linel too, best friend of Reader or not he made an asshole decision [which was not in the original thought process while writing this but it happened nonetheless, ty for going off script Linel-] and he dealt with the consequences of Ezra’s calm anger, not necessarily a thing someone would want to be on the receiving end on, honestly-

TYYY AGAIN TOO-

Also I do not study social sciences but I love learning about different cultures and the history of them in general since I also draw and create original and fandom characters as well, aside from just writing - I want to make sure everything is correct if I make a character a part of a certain group in general. [Plus I’m also still trying to connect and learn more about my own culture as well and I’m glad that Reader is relatable too agdjfnfj-]

Anyways ty again for your thoughts, holy heck-

I’m really glad to hear / read them and AgdbHdjfn it made my day, honestly- <3333

A g a i n I’m glad you enjoyed this, oml-

Hi!!! I was the one who requested the jealous Ezra x reader fic!

My request was Ezra being jealous around the best friend that is a boy (IDK if that was the original prompt but here it is!)

Thank you so much!

Thank YOU so much - especially for requesting again, I am so sorry that it got deleted-

I think it had something to do with being jealous and protective but I’ll just merge the two.

I hope you enjoy!

“Best friend or not.”

Ezra Bridger x Fem!Reader [romantic]

Summary ; In which Ezra is denying his jealousy, and gets protective of you after a mission.

Requested? ; Yes

Warnings ; A bit of canonical type violence, reader’s best friend is a bit of an asshole, and mentions and of assimilation and depictions of losing important items of cultures.

Word Count ; 3.8 k

——————————————————————

Ezra Bridger is never really one to be jealous.

Sure, he had bouts of it when he first met Sabine. Mainly vying for her attention instead of it being on others out of pure admiration, mistaking it for a crush. And sure, you were jealous of it back then too. But that was before you realized that Sabine was cool, and before he realized that all he wanted was a friend.

Never really had that before he met you and her.

And that, was almost a few years ago.

No, Ezra Bridger was never one to be jealous.

Not in the slightest.

Not at all.

No, he wasn’t drawn to it like a moth is to a flame. He didn’t feel a slow burning pit in the depths of his gut, the simmer of fire licking up the back of his neck. He didn’t feel annoyance ticking in the back of his head with a timer constantly going off and resetting when the feeling settles down. He didn’t roll his eyes every time Linel Raythe, a pantoran rebel fighter known as the new Pheonix-3, and you were in the same room together. No.

He wasn’t jealous.

I mean, how could he be? You can have other friends. You HAVE had other friends. HE’S had other friends. He can’t be jealous, it’s not possible.

It’s a horrible emotion that Jedi shouldn’t have.

He wasn’t jealous.

——————————————————————

“Ezra! Focus.”, his master sternly said in a low voice, a hand clamping down onto his shoulder with a pressure he knows only as Kanan. Kanan leaned down a bit to make sure Ezra was listening. “Specter-7 will be fine. Now pay attention to this meeting, we have another mission we have to focus on.”

Ezra’s eyes darted away from you loading up Phantom II with supply crates in the distance. Your laugh rang out and echoed softly against the stone walls of the rebel base on Yavin IV, blending into the ambient bustle of noise around the area like a raindrop to a puddle.

Serene and unbothered, unlike the surface tension of the water.

Your pantoran friend laughed along with you, a voice that Ezra immediately tuned out with a quiet huff of breath. His… dislike (not jealousy!) of said rebel allowed him to be drawn back into the meeting at hand, focus no longer split up between two parts of the base.

Linel was assigned another mission along with you and you alone. Something that had to deal with intel and grabbing specific packages of important items that belonged to a few of the cultures being forcefully assimilated into imperial culture.

You, before having joined the Ghost crew at your young age, had been training on your planet to be a cultural anthropologist. You knew a lot of bits and pieces and important information about thousands of different groups along the outer rim, and being in the rebellion helped you hone that ability for even the smallest and most important tasks a rebel could have.

Bringing hope to people that they would stay, and not be completely wiped away from existence due to the Empire.

“Items hold a lot of importance, Ez.” You once told him. “It’s physical evidence of people, and creatures, and even planets alike that they exist. The empire wants to take that away from us too. I think everyone here knows that, to some degree.”

You were definitely an integral part of that mission. And Ezra couldn’t knock that. You would be able to differentiate what came from where, and help other rebels send it back to the places that those items came from.

His problem lies with Linel.

Kind of.

And the fact that you had to get close to Dathomir, where those witch-spirit-things were. And remnants of Night Sisters and who knows what else around the place.

He wished you didn’t need to go.

He wished that his mission with the rest of the ghost crew wasn’t on the opposite end of the Outer Rim.

He wished someone else was going with you, not Linel—

No, no, no.

Stop.

That’s jealousy talking, you aren’t like that Ezra.

He sighed through his nose, thoughts clearing up the more he paid attention to Hera’s instructions on their mission. Infiltrating another important supply run of ammunition that the Empire was sending off to one of the other planets they took.

It was just as important as your mission.

He needed to focus on that.

——————————————————————

The ride back to their temporary home on Yavin IV couldn’t go any slower than it did. The amount of alternate hyperspace routes the Ghost Crew had to take due to an increase of imperial vigilance was both annoying and astounding all on its own.

They - especially Ezra - could only hope that you were alright. You were a great flier, a great fighter even, trained underneath both Hera and Sabine themselves. They all know you can handle the heat when things get tough.

Their questions lie within the realms of of Linel could take it.

Hopefully he should, being a Pheonix-3 fighter who has flown under Hera’s command herself before. She has no doubt that he can handle a flying situation when he’s at the helm.

Of a one-manned ship, that is.

The crew could only hope that nothing went wrong, and things went as smoothly as they usually would go. (Not that smoothly, knowing their luck, but at least smooth enough to make sure you weren’t physically hurt.)

The moment the Ghost docked down on Yavin IV, Ezra quickly got off the ramp once it touched the ground. He jogged over to Aleksandr Kallus once he saw him, and slowed to a stop once he was close enough.

“Hey, Kallus—“, Ezra greeted, a little bit breathless on his rush to get over to him. “—any sign of Spectre-7 and Pheonix-3 yet?”

“Not yet, Bridger,” Kallus told him, earning a frown from Ezra. And a furrowed brow. Odd. But not out of character. “Don’t worry, Spectre-6, they just hit a small snag coming home.”

“Needed to take another hyperspace route, I’m guessing?”

“Not… exactly.”, Kallus sighed, partly out of annoyance. He had a task he had to get to; Ezra was taking up some of his time doing it. “Look, we’ll know properly when they come back. Their comms were a little garbled but I’m sure it’s fine, now, if you excuse me.”

He stepped around Ezra, going off into some other part of the base of his task. Ezra groaned quietly, shaking his head while walking back to the Ghost.

“What’d Kallus say about her?”, Sabine asked him, pushing a crate of unopened ammunitions his way.

Ezra took the floating crate, and moved it to join the pile of other crates in front of them. “Said she hit a snag coming home. They aren’t exactly sure what’s going on, either. Comms weren’t all that clear, apparently.”

“That’s… concerning”, Sabine said. A worried furrow crinkled the skin in between her brows when she took off her mandolorian helmet. She set it against her side with her arm slung over it. “I mean, I’m sure she’s fine and all, but he said nothing else?”

“Not a thing.”, Ezra crossed his arms in front of him, his hands lightly digging into the orange material of his jacket. It wasn’t much of a worried furrow that made his brow angle downwards as much as annoyance. Disdain, almost.

Kallus was still a little iffy on the trusting end for the both of them.

Sabine hummed in thought, eyes boring into the stone ground below them. “I’m sure we’ll figure out more when they both come back. Spectre-7 is always careful, especially on a mission that plays to her strengths. She’ll be ok.”

The mandalorian gave Ezra a comforting pat on the shoulder, one he gratefully took with a small and thankful smile, and walked back onto the ghost. Sabine took another ammunitions crate from Zeb, and pushed it down the ramp towards Ezra. He took the crate from her, looking back and forth between the ghost and where the Phantom II should be showing up, and continued on with his task of putting them all in a pile to be moved.

It should at least give him some time to stay calm. Distracting himself from the horrible flame of an emotion that sparked every time he thought of your mission, and who you were with.

He’s not jealous.

He’s not jealous.

He’s not jealous.

Concerned for your well-being, maybe.

But not jealous.

——————————————————————

A roar of a smaller ship skidding harshly on the stone snapped the whole of the Ghost Crew out of their stupor. Their mundane task of unloading the ship ceased, a whole load of wide eyes - and lenses, in Chopper’s case - staring in a frightful concern at one of the most dangerous landings they’ve seen the Phantom II take yet.

Once the skidding stopped just before a whole weapons unit, the screams of other rebels scrambling away had trickled down into a lot of murmuring. Ezra took the first step and dashed down the ramp of the Ghost ship, followed by other concerned rebels who found their way over to the smoking engines of the Phantom II.

Ezra coughed, covering his nose with his elbow and opened the back door entrance with the force. He didn’t want to waste any time if you were injured.

You and Linel almost stumbled and fell out of the ship, coughs racking through your throats. Smoke billowed out of the back, and there was a chorus of shouts when you both got out of the ship.

“I told you to leave the flying to me—“, you said, wheezing out another cough. You shoved Linel’s side, and you heaved in air. Your hand snapped up to cover a gash - bruise? No, definitely a gash - on your right arm. Ezra was immediately at your other side, his right arm going under your left to help you up better.

Your tired eyes met his with a thankful nod, and he nodded back at you. The both of you turned towards Linel once he started speaking.

“I’m a better flyer than you! I fly more than you on the daily, Y/n!”, he snapped back, also wheezing out the smoke from his lungs. You scoffed at his words and stumbled a step closer towards your friend.

“Woah, careful—“, Ezra began. He promptly shut up the moment your accusatory finger from your injured arm pointed up at the pantoran.

“Shut up, Linel, I fly the Phantom II WAY more than you do. You had no idea what the hell you were doing when those damn imperials got there!”

Ezra blinked. He - wasn’t expecting the amount of disdain in your voice. The amount of venom spouting through your words and weaving through the air like an uncomfortable blanket.

“You wanted to take things slow, that’s not how I do things—”, Linel started.

“YOU COSTED US THOSE CRATES!”

“YOU WERE TOO SLOW—“

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT - THAT’S ENOUGH, YOU TWO”, shouted another voice. Ezra, Linel, and you all flinched. Hera’s voice rung out in stern chords, silencing the yells that began to echo across the base. “That’s enough. Ezra, I want you to take Spectre-7 to the medical bay while Pheonix-3 tells me his version of what happened. Chopper, I need you to run specs on Phantom II, tell me everything we need to replace or get fixed. Sabine, Zeb and Kanan will go get what’s needed. Spectre-7 I’ll get a recount of your version of events later. Everyone understand me?”

A chorus of ‘Yes sir’s’, and ‘you got it’s’ and warbles from Chopper sounded off. Chopper headed closer to the damaged ship, Sabine, Zeb and Kanan following afterwards. Hera took Linel off to the side and sat him down on an empty crate, prompting him to tell her what happened on the mission.

Meanwhile, after Ezra was certain he glared holes into the back of Linel’s head, he led you carefully to the medical bay of the base. Your arm needed tending to, and he wanted - no, needed - to make sure you were ok.

——————————————————————

“Alright, Spectre-7”, Hera began, walking into the room of the medical bay you resided in for the moment. “Spill. What happened during the mission?”

Ezra finished tugging the last of the bandage over the gash on your arm, and tucked the last sliver of gauze underneath the rest of it. You glanced over and let out a sigh, your eyes settling in on staring down at Hera’s shoes.

“The mission started off as planned.”, you started. Your good hand lightly picked at a rip against the seam of your pants, thick material rough against the tips of your fingers. They were comfier than they looked, that’s for sure.

“We got out of hyperspace near Dathomir, hid behind one of the asteroids nearby and cloaked our signature. The pirate ship - not from anyone we knew, that’s for sure - docked on the light cruiser and we flew close by and attached to the pirate ship as planned. Sabine’s implant on the ship from a couple weeks ago worked, we didn’t need to contact them inside. Bounty hunters were distracted, bucket heads distracted. Something about payments and other shit I wasn’t paying attention to.

“The crates were there, on the bounty hunter’s ship. And I wanted to take things slow. Take as much as we could for a run back, and then go back on it again for the rest. Linel stayed inside Phantom II to load in the crates as planned. On my second run things went to hell and back between the pirates and the imperials because of a mishap in their agreement and Linel almost took off without me!”

At this point your hands moved with your words. An angry astonishment still held into your words, a bitterness left by your best friend. One you wouldn’t think would betray you, but ended up doing any how.

The simmering spark of flame in Ezra’s gut flared again.

Now’s not the time for jealousy, he told himself.

“I had to leave half of the items there, and rush back on before the door closed. And because of how quick he left we got spotted by imperials, we fought over who’s going to fly and we fucked up the Phantom really badly. Got nicked by a bunch of TIE-fighters and we we finally got back here the atmosphere finally did those damages in. Most of what was in the crates still left in the Phantom II are as good as destroyed now, Hera!”

You finally looked up at Hera, and her eyes immediately softened. Not out if you being one of her soft spots of the rebellion. One of the kids she took under her wing. No, not just out of that. The pure look of anguish that you hid behind your irritation at Linel was there, clear as day.

You always loved caring and learning about other people.

Cultural items held a hand in that. Those were always important to you. Severely, almost.

“All those pieces - all those stories, maybe even people, gone. And it was his fault for being too impulsive and my fault for letting it get to me. It was like before I joined you guys, Hera - everything I fucking lost from my people I that promised to get back and didn’t. It’s all gone because we fucked up.”

Oh.

You took a quiet breath, you shoulder bumping into Ezra’s. With a couple of blinks, you looked back down at Hera’s shoes, and wiped at the corner of one of your eyes, successful at keeping the dam that was your waterline of a lower eyelid at bay. “So… that’s all there is to it, General Syndulla.”

Nevermind.

Hera sighed, and sat down on your left side, her hand gently settling down on your left shoulder. “Well, at least now I know that maybe some best friends shouldn’t be paired together.”, she lightly chuckled, and you let out a quiet scoff of a laugh.

That feeling isn’t jealousy.

Your pinky finger edged against Ezra’s on your right, and he tapped his against yours, both of you curling said finger around the other’s.

It’s anger.

“Linel’s going to be grounded here for a couple weeks”, Hera states, voice still as calming as ever. “I have to ground you here as well to save face, alright? I’ll have Chopper go over the mission logs and recordings made during it just in case, see which one of your stories are corroborated with it. Just in case.”

She said the last sentence in such a way that told you she was still on your side. And you couldn’t be more grateful to her.

“Now, about the gash?”, Hera asked.

“The landing”, both you and Ezra answered. The Twi’lek laughed softly at the two of you.

“I figured as much.”

——————————————————————

“Hey, Linel Rhayme, right?”

Linel looked up from the data pad he was looking at, locking eyes with Ezra. “Oh, Commander Bridger. What’s up?”, he asked, letting his hands hang against his sides, datapad clutched into one of them.

“Nothing much,” Ezra said with a shrug. He leaned against the stone wall of the base, uncaring about the rough ridges digging into his back. “You and Y/n. Spectre-7. Best friends, right?”

“Right. The one and only!”, Linel answered, a nervous lilt slowly cantering into his voice. “Kinda messed up on that last mission though. We made up for it, I think. She’s still a little icy about it, but it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

“Right.” Ezra said with a slow nod. “Well, kinda understandable when her best friend almost left her to fend for herself against both bounty hunter’s AND imperials. But I mean, you said it for yourself. Nothing you aren’t used to, right?”

Bitter.

Bitter.

Bitter.

Linel shuffled his feet. He was a couple inches further away from Ezra than he last stood.

“Look, Commander, it’s not like I had a choice. They would’ve grabbed us if I hadn’t started leaving—“, the pantoran began, brows beginning to furrow against his blue skin.

“—But, the thing is, you DID have a choice.”, Ezra cut off, eyes narrowed, darkened under the shade of the stone above them. His voice was calm and collected as his arms crossed in front of him. “You almost got captured regardless, and you put my partner in harms way. I don’t really take kindly to others that end up hurting the people I care about, you know.”

Ezra pushed himself off the wall, and walked closer to Linel. “Next time instead of spearheading your way to an impulsive decision like that on a mission under her lead, why don’t you listen to her instead, huh?”

He gave Linel a couple pats on his shoulder, and began to walk away.

“It’s not like you’re any better, Bridger.”

Ezra stopped in his tracks, not looking back at Linel behind him. He had more to say, so Ezra decided to wait until he said what he needed to.

“I’ve heard stories about how Commander Bridger of the great ship The Ghost was impulsive, and consistently put his teams into greater danger because of his decisions. Especially at the beginning.”, Linel said, a hint of malice lacing in between those words. “Don’t be a hypocrite and reprimand me for something I did that you’ve done multiple times.”

Calm.

Ezra took a deep breath. “I may have been impulsive and done that a few times, especially during the beginning. I’m not knocking that in the slightest. But, they were never out of a selfish need to get away after I joined the Ghost. And I made sure I never left anyone behind if the situation allowed it.”

He turned back to Linel. “Can you say the same for yourself?”

Silence.

“Be glad that my partner forgave you. That’s a trust you never want to try and earn back if you break it.”

Ezra turned away once again, not getting a sound out of Linel, and walked on. “Thanks for calling me out on my hypocrisy though. I’ll be sure to work on it.”

The pantoran could only watch the Jedi walk away.

——————————————————————

Somewhere off in the distance was the rest of the ghost crew - minus you and Hera -!near Phantom II, checking it’s diagnostics and grabbing what was needed to replace it. Sabine caught a glimpse of Ezra talking to Linel, and excused herself from the rest of the group to grab some supplies they needed.

“You didn’t go too hard on the guy, did you?”, she asked Ezra when he walked by her. She had the hovering cart of supplies in her hands already, and pushed them with her while the two walked back to the broken down extension of the Ghost.

“I didn’t.”

Sabine raised a brow at her younger brother figure, a smirk rising onto her face at his shrug. She gave him a pointed look.

“I didn’t!”, he raised his hands (and his voice octave too), in mock surrender. “I swear.”

“Surreee you did.” The mandalorian rolled her eyes with a snort, looking ahead of them. “Sure.”

A long stretch of silence slid by them both as they walked, only broken by a quiet and reluctant scoff Ezra let out. “Like I’d ever let him get away with what he did with Y/n kriff free.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t let him either. Best friend or not.”

Ezra nodded in agreement.

“Best friend or not.”

[erodasfishtacos]

#HendallReunited

prompt: request was to write broad but to write something angsty

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: language, sexual content, angst

Harry always had issues with saying ‘no’ to people. He never quite grew out of his manners even when he should have.

He said ‘yes’ to way too many things- signing autographs for rude fans and paparazzi, and agreed to way too many things Jeff suggested.

Saying yes to everything didn’t make his life any easier is the thing. Especially when it came to his wife. She was usually left with the aftermath of him being too nice.

The media painted Y/N in a negative light occasionally and so did the fans because she would stand up for Harry and not let him say ‘yes’ to every single request.

She would tell disrespectful fans he’s not signing autographs because of the way they were screaming and interrupting his work.

Harry wished he could do it himself - admired that his wife didn’t give a fuck what people thought about her. He cared entirely too much what the world would think.

The couple didn’t fight about much - no, not really. Normal couple stuff for the most part. But this was the exception, this is where Y/N found most of their turmoil.

Every few months it would rear it’s ugly head and they’d find themselves in the same position over and over again.

This time - it was really fucking bad.

The couple had been staying in their Los Angeles home for the last few months whilst the singer finalized his album and began promotion.

It was boring meeting among boring lunch outings to get all their ducks in a row. Jeff - his manager the main orchestrator.

He was a great manager and a good friend, but it was also business too which Harry didn’t always comprehend.

At the end of the day, Harry was making Jeff millions upon millions of dollars. But Harry didn’t think that way.

**

Harry was in a stuffy conference room at the The Late Late Show to work on the script and ideas for the show. Promo had been nonstop.

He was a bit tired as it was nearly just hitting eight in the morning and he had been up late with you - having some late night loving in the hot tub.

“As for guest - Kendall Jenner,” James Corden’s producer states. All the men agree but Harry is taken aback.

“Why...why would we have my ex-girlfriend as one of my guests?” Harry interrupts, confusion knitting his brows.

Kendall and him didn’t end on a bad note - not at all. They hooked up a few times after their ‘break-up’ but once he’d met Y/N she was understanding when he cut it off.

Y/N wasn’t necessarily jealous of the model, but didn’t love when they’d run into each other at events. She was still overtly flirty with Harry without much shame. 

Harry also didn’t have an desire to see her or host her as a guest on the show. She was nice but he wasn’t interested in being friends with her. They didn’t have much in common and he was head over heels for his wife.

“The media will eat it up, dude. Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner reunited on a show after four years?” Jeff smiles, the others nodding in amicable agreement.

This is one of this times where Harry needs to say “no,” that it’s disrespectful to his significant other to use an old flame for promo for his album.

He already knows ‘hendall’ will be trending within minutes and he can’t imagine how that would make his parter feel.

“I just...this doesn’t seem like a good idea?” Harry begins hesitantly, making it sound more like a question than a statement. 

“Why not?” Eric, one of the writers asks.

“Y’know, I’m married. I don’t think m’missus would appreciate if I did somethin’ like that just for promotion,” he states, scratching at his jaw uncomfortably.

“Look Styles, we’re not asking you to fuck the girl. It just a interview, c’mon,” The executive producer gruffs - wanting those guaranteed views.

Harry swallows - looking at his manager and then at everyone else at the table looking at him for an affirmative answer.

“Uh-sure,” Harry fumbles, feeling anxiety rise into his throat. Fuck, he’s such a god damn pushover.

He’s trying to find his voice to go back on his agreement but the meeting wrapping up and people are leaving with final handshakes.

**

Harry doesn’t know how to tell Y/N what is going on. He’d been keeping in stored in the back of his mind, not ready to have a blowout.

He never found the perfect time to bring it up and now it was too late. It was the morning of the show and he was due to be at the rehearsals this afternoon.

Harry had finally decided he was going to tell her this morning over coffee but forgot that she had a girl’s day planned with a few friends.

She was already out to breakfast with them when he woke up. His phone had one text from you.

Hi baby. I’m out with the girls. See you at the show tonight. I’ll meet you there around six! Love you!

He was fucked royally and he had no one to blame but himself. Maybe it’d be okay, maybe she’d roll her eyes and tell him he’s an idiot.

Realistically he knew that was just a sweet dream at this point.

—

Harry was fidgety and kept mucking up his lines during rehearsal as it got closer to the showtime and his missus arriving.

Kendall had arrived for hair and makeup without seeing her ex-boyfriend yet. He dreaded seeing the model.

Kendall and Y/N had met a few times at different events. It was always cordial. Kendall was always casual - their relationship was never more than a couple fun dates and sex.

They were kind to each other when they met but he couldn’t deny how much harder his partner kissed him on the mouth afterwards.

Before he know it, his wife is hugging him from behind as he talks to a producer about which cameras to look at.

Y/N noticed the way he tensed up at first and thought about how unusual that was for him. Normally, he’d lean back into her with his full weight causing them both to stumble and laugh.

He slowly, cautiously turns around and his face  relaxes a little bit but not completely. “Hi baby,” he hums, leaning in for a kiss.

“You look so handsome,” she replies, admiring his brown pinstriped suit and her pearl necklace that he’d snagged awhile back. She thought it looked better on him anyways.

“You look even better, s’fuckin’ pretty, love,” he gushes, coming back in for another kiss - a little too sensual for the setting.

She was donned in a cropped white shirt, showing of the smooth expanse of her tummy. An oversized blazer of Harry’s, ripped jeans, and heels. 

Harry thought fleetingly he couldn’t wait to fuck her after the show. Then remembered that mostly wouldn’t happen.

Reggie, the musical lead, slides up to you two. He smiles wide at you, saying, “Can’t believe you agreed to the guest this evening.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, Harry’s raise nearly to his forehead, but when she opens her mouth to ask him to explain they’re interrupted.

“Harry!” The leggy model trots over to the little group. Dressed in an interesting one-piece suit that has sewn in heels. She looked beautiful as ever, of course she was a model.

Both of them turn towards the oblivious girl, “Kendall,” Harry replies with a twinge of anxiety - eyes repeatedly looking at his significant other’s profile as multiple emotions flash.

“Hiya, you’re Y/N right?” Kendall smiles kindly, offering her manicured hand.

She accepts, “Yeah, uh-good to see you again.”

Harry knew she had connected the dots quickly in her head. The hurt, confusion, had hit her eyes before narrowing into full-blown rage at her partner.

“I promise I’ll go easy on him,” Kendall jokes before pinching at Harry’s cheek teasingly. The model was a natural flirt with everyone she got along with.

“Oh, sure,” she replies lamely, attempting to not let her feelings burst out in that moment with her husband . She knew it wasn’t Kendall’s fault.

“I’m going to go grab a bite to eat. I’m probably gonna puke when we do ‘spill or fill’. See you guys soon,” the model waves before trailing off with her assistant.

“Did you kn- of course you knew she was your guest,” Y/N seethes, turning to fully face the guilt-stricken-singer.

He rubs the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact, “I did.”

“How long have you known for?” She demands to know, keeping her voice at an angry whisper to not draw attention.

Harry wasn’t going to lie to his love, “About two weeks.”

Y/N replies with a laugh, “let me guess, you let Jeffrey talk you into this bullshit, again.”

His silence is all she needs to know it’s true.

“For Christ’s sake, of course,” She huffs bitterly, “what’s even worse is you didn’t fucking tell me. What the fuck?”

Harry bites his lip, not able to rasp out anything but a pathetic, “m’sorry, love.”

He wasn’t usually good at taking responsibility during a fight. He was stubborn at best but he couldn’t deny his way out of this.

“You will be, you-“

They were cut off by the staff, the audience was trailing in and Harry needed to get mic’d up now.

“This conversation isn’t over,” she points her finger at his chest before storming off to the side of the stage where she’d watch from.

Fucking shit.

**

Harry was a performer. It’s easy for him to push things to the back of his mind so he can entertain a enamored audience.

But tonight, he was struggling. Eyes flicking over to the teleprompter more than usual, his demeanor not as vivid and carefree.

Not when his wife was glaring daggers at him from stage right. Her hand constantly at her mouth, biting at her nails - a nervous tick of hers.

“Next up, the one, the only, the beautiful model and one of my good friends, Kendall Jenner!” Harry introduces when she walks out and waves at the crowd.

They hug and when they pull apart they step over to where they were playing the game. Either answer the question or eat a nasty food picked out by the other.

They weren’t allowed to see each other’s questions before the game started- both going on blind which put Harry more on edge.

“Okay, Kendall. Rank the members of One Direction on most to least attractive or you will be eating...” Harry spins the table, “Cow tongue.”

She flinched at the disgusting plate, smirking up at Harry before considering her course of action, “I think I can answer this one.”

He wasn’t looking forward to her answer. Neither was Y/N by the way she nearly shaking her foot off her leg.

“Okay, I got this. You - the most attractive, then uh- Zayn....Louis...Niall...Liam,” she laughs, “but all of you are hot!”

Harry fake laughs and acts like he’s impressed by her answer as the crowd roars and cheers. 

When Kendall picks up her notecard - she laughs in surprise at the question before looking at him with bright eyes.

“Okay, um, bull penis!” She giggles before starting the question, “I’m dying to know this answer. So...your first album HS1 was released four years ago, correct?”

He nods, apprehensive.

“Which songs were about me? Especially was only angel?” She laughs at Harry’s pale expression before without another thought he shovels the rancid food into his mouth.

Harry looks off to the side to see that his missus is no longer sitting there. Just Jeff - who gives him a thumbs up.

**

The first thing he did when the show ended and the lights dimmed was bolt off to Jeff - ignoring Kendall who was about to say something to him.

“Where’d Y/N go?”

He thought she might have went out to get a breathe of fresh air but for the next hour and a half he hasn’t seen her once.

“She said she wasn’t feeling very good. She told me to tell you she’d meet you at home,” Jeff shrugs unbothered.

“Damnit!” Harry curses loudly, ripping out of the microphone and the little pack in his back waistband.

“Harry,” Jeff scolds at his unprofessionalism that was abnormal for him.

“No! Don’t fucking ever ask me to do shit like this again. You fucking knew what questions were on those notecards and you said it wasn’t anything about our previous relationship.”

“Harry-“

“Don’t fucking talk to me. You’re a real shit manager sometimes, you know that? Do not contact me tonight or tomorrow for that matter, you douchebag,” Harry barks before storming off towards the dressing rooms.

All the employees were standing around in shock, staring at the popstar as he ignored everyone around him.

Harry was famously known for being a kind, amicable guy. So it took everyone by surprise to hear him speak like that. Even Jeff was shaken up a little.

—

The house was pitch-black as Harry pulled up. The house’s first floor was lined with large, bay windows and not a single light was on.

He could find one room illuminated which was your bedroom. A dim side lamp must have been flicked on. He imagined her purposely turning off all the lights on the trek up the staircase.

Harry didn’t want to admit how much he was trembling with awful nerves and anticipation as he slowly turns the knob of the shared bedroom.

Y/N wasn’t laying in bed as he expected but found the bathroom door shut tightly. He noticed a little yellow bag with tissue paper off to the side by a dresser.

He knocks on the oak door, not daring to enter without permission.

“What do you want?” Y/N answers, tone flat and emotionless. 

“Can I come in, baby? Please...” He wasn’t ashamed to beg for forgiveness at this point. Hearing the emptiness in her tone scared him shitless.

“I really could care less,” She replies coldly from her spot in the scalding water decorated with bubbles.

Harry had never felt more unsure in his life as he enters the bathroom.  Y/N had gotten proper pissed at him or vice versa before - right before a concert, an award ceremony but she’d never left without him.

Her head was laying against the foam headrest and her body was covered by the soap water. She looked tired and her eyes were puffy from crying.

Harry kneels next to the tub, “look at me, please pet.”

 Y/N takes a moment before turning her head and opening her eyes. They were distant, disappointed in the man in front of her.

“I should have told you about Kendall. I should have put up more of a fight to get someone else on instead,” Harry admits, his hands desperately wanting to reach out for her.

She shakes her head with a heart-wrenching sniffle, “it’s not just tonight, Harry. We’ve had this conversation continuously for three and a half fucking years. You try to please everyone, despite them giving no fucks about you.”

“Are you that much of a pushover? You let your ex-girlfriend flirt with you in front of millions. Do you know how embarrassing and unfair that it to me?” She wipes at her eyes to stop the tears spilling over.

Harry hadn’t thought of it like that - to be honest. But he agrees, it wasn’t fair and downright cruel to do that to her.

What? All because he couldn’t say ‘no’ because he didn’t want people to be mad at him? It was pathetic and ridiculous.

“I-I won’t let it happen again, lovie. I mean it, I truly do,” Harry whimpers reaching over to cup her cheek and wants to cry when she pushes him away.

“You’re a broken record. You’ve said that a million times before but don’t change,”  Y/N points out, eyes boring furiously into his wife’s.

“I’m goi-“

She cuts him off with a sharp edge in her tone, “Just leave me alone, get out.”

The man’s face crumbles and for a second, she wants to just end the fight and makeup but then nothing would change.

“Baby-“

“Get out!” She finally bellows, tears streaming down her face steadily.

He obliges, head hung in defeat as he closes the door behind him. He stands there’s blankly for a second before going to the walk-in closet.

He’s pulling out a fresh pair of cotton underwear and a large sleepshirt for his partner, laying them neatly on the bed.

Harry doesn’t know what to do with himself while he waits so he pulls out his phone to mindlessly scroll.

He throws it against the wall when he sees #hendallreunited is trending number one on Twitter at the moment.

The singer strips down to his briefs and sits with his back against the tufted headboard, staring blankly at the wall.

His eyes catch a neon pink pair of his swimshorts tossed carelessly on the decorative vase in the corner of the room from the night before .

“Fuck, baby - no need to rush,” Harry groans into Y/N ‘s mouth as she pushes him until he’s sat on the edge of their California king.

She reaches impatiently for the tie on his neon pink swimshorts and yanks them off his slim, peach-fuzz thighs before throwing them onto the vase without a care that it was worth over twenty-thousand pounds.

After edging her in the hot tub with his fingers and mouth, she wasn’t waiting any longer before clambering onto his lap, pulling her swim bottoms to the side, and sinking onto him.

He felt guilty when his cock twitched at the thought of it. But when reality set back in, the arousal with the memory evaporated.

It isn’t much longer until the door is pulled open and  Y/N’s padding into the room with a towel secured around her.

She looks at the clothes Harry set out for her and pointedly walks past them to pick out her own nightwear. 

That really shouldn’t make his eyes tear up as he watches her slide on a similar pair of panties and an oversized shirt. Spotting a purpling bruise on her upper in thigh from his mouth.

 Y/N silently walks past the bed and to the bedroom door, looking back before bleakly stating, “I’m going to sleep in the guest room.”

He frowns, wrinkles appearing on his forehead, “You can sleep in here, love. I’ll take the guest room.”

Harry doesn’t get a reply as she just shakes her head and closes the door loudly behind her. 

It’s just - he’s never seen her this upset. She was usually fantastic at communicating her feelings and hashing things out.

She wasn’t one for the silent treatment or ignoring the topic. It had his chest rising faster than usual with anxiety. The serious of it overwhelming him.

He states at the wall for a very long time without wiping the fat tears brimming over his trembling lips.

*

He couldn’t sleep - it was half past three and he hadn’t even laid down or clicked off the lamp.

Harry accepted sleep wasn’t coming so he begins to tidy the already clean room. He picks up the shorts and tossing them in the hamper.

He refolds some joggers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer and when he went to move the little yellow bag - curiosity got the best of him.

There was no card and he wasn’t sure who it was for or if it had been a gift already give to Y/N that she had returned home with.

Harry really shouldn’t - but he does. Gently tugging out the paper and reaching in to feel fabric.

Pulling it out, it takes him a minute to identify what it is - two baby onesie. Who was having a baby?

He lays them in front of him, eyes widening in surprise as he reads what is printed across the black cotton.

The first one was the colors and font of his upcoming tour merch with the photo he used on his tour announcement with the heeled boot and white pants.

Love on Tour - Due Date: September 2025

With Special Guest Appearance from Baby Styles

The second one was simple and read across the chest:

I’m having your baby (and it is your business) with embroidered kiwis all of over it.

He frantically reached back into the bag to pull out a bundle of pregnancy tests tied with a silk bow.

They weren’t necessarily trying for a baby but they’re weren’t not trying either. Harry wanted a baby as soon as his missus was willing to give him one.

“No, no, don’t one,” she’d whined into his mouth when he’d reached over to grab a condom off the nightstand.

“Oh sweet thing, you want me bare? Fill you up?” He croons happily, coming back to grip at his thick base and tease at her entrance.

“Ye-yeah, H. Please,” (Y/N) whimpers, bucking her hips in the hope he’d slip inside her.

Harry hums, “Might give you a baby though, y’want me to knock you up?”

“Want it, wan-“

He cuts her off with a hard, blissful kiss as he thrusts all the way inside before pulling out to do it again. 

“Gonna give it to you, whatever you want, lovie,” he promises.

The two had never used protection afterwards. It had start about seven months ago and from his knowledge she’d still been getting her periods regularly.

Occasionally, he would palm at her flat tummy and pout, “Haven’t put a baby in you yet, ‘ave I?”

He was so ecstatic but disappointed in himself for ruining everything and pleasing everyone other than who he should be.

Harry needed to fix this. He didn’t want Y/N to lose the excitement of having their baby over a dumb choice of his.

The man’s out of the room and not knocking before entering their guest room. His now pregnant love is laying on-top of the covers.

One hand subconsciously on her belly - which she removes and places next to her when her wife walks in.

The television was on but the volume was low and Y/N wasn’t watching it in the first place anyways.

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, “I opened the yellow bag.”

She looks at him with wide eyes, a little taken aback. she was going to surprise him tonight and forgot to store it away for another time after the fight.

Harry has happy tears dribbling down his cheeks, “you’re having my baby?”

Y/N nods, running a slight hand through his curls. She still had a nasty knot of anger and uncertainty in the pit of her stomach.

It pains her, wanting to share this moment of excitement with Harry but she just couldn’t. The uncertainty of whether Harry would put everybody’s needs before his own baby.

“Come back to bed, want t’talk and celebrate. M’so bloody excited,” Harry murmurs, a large smile decorating his face as he smooths a palm over the expanse of her tummy.

His wife shakes her head and places a hand over his, feeling the cold metal of all of them. “I want to be left alone.”

The twinkle in Harry’s eye diminishes to devastation as he realizes that he’s fucked up so badly that she doesn’t even want to celebrate.

“Pet, can...we just forget about it tonight and be happy ‘bout the baby?” Harry asks selfishly, knowing it was unlikely she’d agree.

She didn’t, a firm expression on her face, “no, I have a lot to think about.”

“Like wha’?” He asks anxiously, unknowing of quite the reason she was so furious.

“Like how you say yes to everything and everyone. We talk and talk about how you need to say ‘no’ and do what’s best for you - for us. You agree to and never follow through”

She takes a shaky breath and continues, “it’s affected our relationship before when you’ve had to cancel our vacation away from all this for a charity concert you’d agree to perform at last minute, dinner reservations because you told your friend we’d be at their art showing they wanted you at.”

Harry knew she was right. He did those things. He wanted everyone to be happy with him - to a fault.

“Tonight was just icing on the cake, you allowed your manager to talk you into hosting your ex on that show. Out of all the people in the world - her. With flirty questions and jabs from her. You let that happen. You care about making everyone happy but in return you don’t care how it affects me. That’s pretty shitty.”

“I’m...I’m really fucking scared you’ll do that even when we have the baby. I need you to put them first and right now...I’m not sure if you’re going to. You can’t put the person you want to spend the rest of your life with first now, how do I know you’ll do it with the baby?”

Harry chokes out a sob as he presses his forehead against the bed, his broad shoulders shaking. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried this hard - years ago maybe. He felt like his wife didn’t have any faith in him and he was to blame.

He looks up at her with swollen eyes - at a loss for what to do or say. He loved her so much and was over the moon that they were going to have a baby.

“How do I fix this, darling? You’re right, I really fucked up. M’sorry,” Harry cries, grabbing at her hands and she allows it.

“Just saying you’re sorry won’t fix it,” Y/N replies flatly, letting Harry squeeze and kiss at the backs of her hands.

“Then what do I bloody do to fix this?” Harry raises his voice in frustration, staring in bewilderment at his wife. 

Y/N narrows her eyes at him, “Do not raise your voice at me, Harry. Actions speak louder than words.”

Harry swallows harshly, pressing one finally kiss to her hand. “Okay.”

“Okay?” She repeats.

“I love you, I’ll fix this,” he promises with conviction. He knew what he needed to do and do it tomorrow. So he and his wife could enjoy her new pregnancy.

“I need space tonight, I just...please”Y/N says quietly, rubbing at his shoulder.

It wasn’t the first time they’ve slept in separate rooms because they weren’t getting along but they normally found their way back to each other before sunrise.

Harry nods, lip still tremble with the residual anxiety of the conversation. She allows him to press a soft kiss to her mouth before leaving the room.

—-

Cafe Habana was busy - but no one was paying much attention to Harry and Jeff. It was the morning after and Harry had demanded a meeting over breakfast with his manager.

“Y/N pregnant,” Harry states bluntly after their drinks arrive.

“Oh? Congratulations, dude. That’s exciting!” Jeff leans over to pat him on the shoulder, a big smile.

“The baby is due in September. My next tour starts in next July. The baby will be about nine months. I want to be at home with them for the first year.”

Jeff doesn’t look pleased, “what are you getting at Harry?”

“Reschedule the July and August tour dates. Tack them on to the end of the tour,” Harry lays out flat. 

He hadn’t talk to his wife about this but he knew this was how he could prove that he could say ‘no’ and not be a pushover.

“No Harry. Look I get you’re excited about the baby - but that will be such a fucking hassle,” Jeff frowns, sipping his mimosa.

“I’m not asking, Jeff. I’m telling you that’s what needs to happen,” Harry replies firmly, tone strong and unwavering.

Jeff is definitely taken aback by his client’s conviction. 

“While we’re on the topic, do not ever put me in a situation like you did yesterday. It affected my wife and I. And I will choose her over this career any day.”

The manager nods in surprise, “Harry, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not asking for an apology but if you ever pull something like then I’ll be looking for a new management team. Are we clear?” 

Jeff once again nods, unsure of where this is coming from but at the thought of losing his biggest client would be disastrous so he’d do whatever to accommodate him.

“Consider it done,” he tells Harry before clearing his throat in a slight panic.

—

Y/N woke up to an empty house. She was restless, she asked Harry to prove to her that he could be what she needed. However, it was a bit unfair because she didn’t know how he could do it.

It’s just…she had a baby to think about. They both needed to be put first and if it took a gnarly fight for Harry to realize it...so be it.

“Baby? Love, where are you?” She hears Harry echo through the whole house. She was sat in the kitchen, on a stool by the island, idly sorting through mail.

“In here!”

Harry jogs in, panting like he sprinted from the garage up to the kitchen. He comes to stand in front of the love of his life.

“I might have not completely fixed everything but...I tried,” Harry tells her, cradling her face in his large palms. “ I just got back from lunch with Jeff. I told him about the baby.”

He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I rescheduled tour dates so I can be with you guys at home in London for the first year. Then...maybe you guys can join me after?”

“Harry…” she’s at a loss for words.

“And I told Jeff that if he ever puts me in a situation like that again, I’m firing him.”

Y/N stares at him, in awe and admiration of the man she chose to marry and keep forever. His face was so sincere and vulnerable.

Harry didn’t know whether it would be enough. If it wasn’t he’d keep trying but all he could do was hope. He waited with bated breath as she processed his words.

“Baby, you-for me?” She murmurs as she stands up and crowds into his space. He instantly wraps her up into a tight hug, missing her touch.

“Of course, pet. I’d do anything for you, I mean it. I’d quit this whole career if you wanted tha’,” he tells her truthfully - lips brushing her forehead.

“I love you, so so much,” Y/N murmurs, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“We’re havin’ a baby,'' Harry sighs dreamily into her mouth, tongue sliding against hers. A large hand came to palm at her belly.

“Yeah, m‘having your baby,” She giggles as he begins to trail the kisses down her jaw and neck - pressing her into the marble countertop.

“Should we name it Kiwi?” Harry rasps as he slides the tank top strap off her shoulder so his lips can meet the cap of her warm shoulder.

“We are not going to be that celebrity couple who names their baby something weird,” Y/N groans as he grounds his hips into hers with intent.

THE END

[yoooespinosa]

could you please write a draco x reader fic, where the reader is hopelessly in love with draco, and she's not afraid to show it. but draco doesn't feel the same. and draco being draco, he rejects the reader with no remorse. then when the reader finally comes to the realization that she deserves better, she started seeing new people (not necessarily dating, but more like talking), then that's when draco feels a bit jealous now that the reader isn't all over him anymore. the rest is up to you, love! just something really angsty, you could end it in any way you'd like.

also, sidenote. you're an amazing writer and i love you!!

a/n: Thank you for your request! ily <3

To say you had a crush on Draco Malfoy, was an understatement.

You couldn't help it, you couldn't just stop the feelings you developed every time he came around.

When he walked into the room it was butterflies breaking out of their cage, palms growing sweaty and your heart racing so fast you were scared you'd be able to see its indentions.

It was scary at first, to have such feelings at only thirteen years old. So you did your best to ignore them. You did your best to stay out of his way.

That only worked for so long.

When you are friends with Draco and the people that surround him, it becomes very hard to stay out of his path.

So it was only inevitable that your crush on him would become so much more. Especially as the years went on.

He hadn't made it much easier. Sometimes you felt as if, maybe, he returned your feelings. How could you think otherwise? With the way he walked with you to class, carried your books at times and spent time with you. Just you. Alone.

How could you not fall in love with him.

With all that simmering in you, you finally let it out. You made your affections obvious, not afraid to show Draco how you felt for him. You had thought it was welcomed. You thought that the feelings would be returned.

It seemed as though he could only tolerate you for so long. Yes, that was the right word for it, the only thing he had for you was toleration.

Your shoes sounded on the stone under you, on your way to the Slytherin common room. You had just got out of detention with professor Snape. You suppose it was well deserved, you had seen Draco almost put the wrong ingredient in his potion, so you being you had wandered to his table and helped him, much to Snapes dismay.

Whispering the password, you made your way through the dim passage. Chattering of people from all years and faint laughter was heard all around.

You spotted your friends right away, seated by the green flamed fireplace, as usual.

"She just can't take a hint." You heard Draco grumble, you paused your steps, you didn't mean to eavesdrop but it seemed as if your feet had a mind of its own.

"Wait," Blaise closes the book he had in his hold. "who are we talking about again?"

Pansy sighs, seeming they had been on the topic for some time. "We're talking about y/n."

Your brows furrow. Going back to the first thing you heard Draco say, she just can't take a hint, what was that supposed to mean. What hint?

"Why can't you just tell her how you feel?" Theo adds, his voice is laced with annoyance, maybe this isn't the first time they've talked about this.

"I thought how I felt would be obvious enough, without having to say anything." He huffs.

"Well," Theo sighs. "apparently not."

You were becoming anxious. What were they talking about and what exactly was Draco feeling? There was streak of hope in you, maybe he'd confess right here that he felt the same.

"What do you suggest I say then, oh-wise-one?" Draco asks teasingly.

"Easy, just say exactly what you tell us." He clears his throat dramatically, adopting a mock version of his voice, "Y/n, you have to be one of the most annoying girls, I have ever had the dissatisfaction of meeting. Please, oh please take the hint and leave me alone because these attempts at getting at me are getting more pathetic each time." He finishes with a clumsy curtsy.

The other Slytherins try to stifle their laughs.

You hadn't even noticed the gasp that escaped your throat until four heads turned to your direction.

"Y/n, I didn't kn-" You cut of Theo's words and apologetic stare.

"Is that true?" You ask Draco, your voice low, laced with hurt. Your nose was stinging and your bottom lip hung heavy, but you refused to cry in front of them. You wouldn't give them another weakness to laugh about.

Draco managed to keep his face blank, no emotions shining through. He shrugged, "Pretty much summed it up."

You almost flinched. He didn't even care about the hurt those words brought you.

You left without a look back. Leaving behind your friends call of your name. They weren't the ones you wanted an apology from. They had known how much you felt for him and didn't even bother telling you that it was definitely not mutual. They even laughed, like it was a joke, like your heart was a comedic topic.

The cold air hit your face, freezing against the tear stain tracks. You sat on a lone stone bench in the court yard, letting those tears make a home on your cheeks.

It wasn't obvious--his dislike to you. If it was, you would have gave up long ago. But a part of you felt that there was hope and you had chased after that.

Why couldn't he have just told you when you first let your affections known, it seemed that he had encouraged it back then, with lingering touches and soft smiles.

Looking back now, you notice that those advantages had slowly disappeared. You had been too caught up in his silky hair, those gray eyes filled with mirth and mischief, his angular face with high bones that no one could compare to, that you hadn't notice everything was unrequited.

A sick part of you even felt honored to have your heart broken in the hold of his beautiful hands, the part that saw him do no wrong.

Maybe that was the first problem, you put him on a pedestal, so high up you weren't able to see anything negative of him. You weren't able to see his cruel reality of his feelings towards you.

And he didn't even seem sorry. He didn't even look bothered by the damage of his words.

You were so nice and considerate to him. You would support him at every quidditch game, cheer the loudest even when he lost. You bought him presents for every one of his birthdays and even Christmas, each one sentimental and thoughtful. You had comforted him when he got those letters, that he despised, from his father. You had voiced encouragements when he showed a little tell sign of his insecurities. You had been there for him.

And he treats you like this, like you can be so easily dismissed. You didn't deserve that, you didn't deserve to be called pathetic for having normal feelings and then being laughed at for it.

The longer you sat on that cold bench, the angrier you got. A bitter feeling growing in your stomach, melting away those knots.

You wasted all this time and effort on some guy who didn't even deserve it, some guy who didn't appreciate you. It wasn't fair.

"Hey, you okay?" A familiar voice sounded through your revelations.

You looked up and met green eyes framed with circular glasses.

"Yeah. I was just thinking." You mumbled, the bitter taste was stuck on your tongue, you wanted rid of it.

"Mind if I sit and think with you?" Harry asked, he was nervously scratching the back of his neck, smiling warmly at you.

You offered him a smile, welcoming his genuineness. "Go ahead."

He sat there with you for hours. Surrounded by the sound of wind. It was nice and comfortable. The bitter feeling leaving you completely. You were content now, even if you could still feel the ache in your arms from holding onto Draco for so long.

Weeks had passed. Weeks of no signs of you. The first week Draco hadn't been worried, a little curious, but that was all. The longer it went on though, he became a little more than curious. Not because he cared, cause he didn't, just that if something happened to you, it would be his fault. His rejection was the reason you ran off like a fool to who knows where.

Which is the only reason he went looking for you. He already got a lot of shit from the others, he didn't need more problems stacking up.

He checked all of your favorite places. Starting with that tree down by the black lake that you enjoyed to lean on and watch the sun go down, the sunset wasn't near so he should've known you would not have been there.

He then went to the gardens, there was a bench there that was next to a small pond. It was filled with odd creatures and was home to your favorite flowers, lotus's. You weren't there either.

Lastly, he went to a certain abandoned hall. You had to be there. You went there to be alone with your thoughts, you had taken him with you there a few times. There was a big window there with a thick ledge, streams of sunlight beamed through and tiny rainbows would reflect on the opposite wall due to the cracks on said window.

He heard you before he saw you. A soft laugh reverberating through the empty hall, a laugh he had always found annoying. Hearing it now though, just made him want to get closer to you.

So he did, walking with light footsteps. He froze, you were not alone. Sitting there in the space he once accompanied, was Harry fucking Potter. What kind of sick joke was this?

Why were you sitting with him? And does that mean you just laughed at something he said?

Your laugh sounded through again, once piercing now melodic. It was a bitter feeling, Potter shouldn't have the honor of dragging that sound out of you, he shouldn't even witness it.

Draco left the hall before either of you saw him, he needed to get himself in check.

More weeks passed. Weeks of you hanging out with Potter. You were doing things with him that you had done with Draco.

It was on purpose, you had to be doing it on purpose. You were simply trying to make him jealous and it was annoyingly working.

But how could you be doing that when you didn't even look back to see a reaction.

Draco didn't know what to think. He didn't even know what to feel, or more like let himself feel. Something had changed in the weeks you were away from him.

A revelation of sorts. He missed you. Missed what you would do for him. He regretted what he said and what he never had the chance to say. Because maybe deep down those feelings had been returned, but he was just too stubborn to show.

And now he's seeing you realizing that you deserve more than blurred lines and assumptions. And he's realizing maybe Potter is that more that you deserve.

Draco doesn't like that one bit, he can't even stomach the thought. So he promises to himself that he will do everything in his power to win you back. Even if that means saying that he was sorry and admitting that he was in the wrong, something he's never had to do before.

But if that makes you his again and gets you away from Potter, then its worth it.

Part 2

[theenderwalker]

re: DSMP "unsolved mysteries"

I've seen lots and lots of posts about the "unsolved mysteries" on the Dream SMP that focus on the TNT on top of the prison and the missing nukes. One of those I am very confident was implied canonically to be Ranboo, and the other I'm confident in my theory that it was him. Putting it under a read more bc its fuckin Long, but its worth the read! Word count: 2482

First: TNT at the prison.

This was implied to be Ranboo across a couple different streams, albiet subtly. I'm not surprised it went a little bit under the radar, but it's simply untrue to say we have no indication of who it could be.

This point doesn't hold true across everything of this nature, and if it did, it would be a dead giveaway, but I think it's relevant here for a couple reasons: Ranboo was online at the time of the explosions. Tommy tends to reflexively open the tab menu during his lore streams, almost as a nervous habit, so we saw multiple times that Ranboo was online, and would seen it have even if Tommy had chat turned off. Online at the time were Sam, Dream, Tommy, Foolish, and Ranboo. Foolish could not have been the culprit, as he was live at the time. In the case of this incident, it would have to be manually triggered by someone. Afterwards, when Tubbo was doing his "interrogations", his first bit of evidence was checking who was online when it happened. For these reasons, I feel this is a valid point for this incident.

That night, Ranboo was live on the SMP. This stream is notable for most people because it was when Ranboo did the odd code in his inventory, that read "He is in control" (or he is in control of me, if you count the to do list). Many people focused on this as a indication that Dream controlled Ranboo to set off the TNT, but this line of thinking was abandoned over time, especially as we saw the implication that the message was actually referring to the Enderwalk, talking about Ranboo stopping himself from doing anything to save Tommy from the prison during that week. However, other details in that stream also hinted it was Ranboo. Most notable to me was Ranboo reading chat or a dono asking him what he had done that day, and him answering that he had "probably gone mining," with some uncertainty. Later that same stream, he went down into his mines , found no ingots in the furnaces, and commented "maybe [he] didn't go mining", and that he wasn't sure what he had done that morning. This comes across to me as an indication that he had a blank spot in his memory that day--that he had been Enderwalking. He drew attention to this here, where he otherwise wouldn't, because it implies he was Enderwalking while he was visibly online, on Tommy's stream, where he would have been able to set off that TNT.

Ranboo was one of the only people on the server with a positive relationship with Dream, of any sort. It is true, especially at this time, that many people had negative opinons of Tommy, but Ranboo was the only one who didn't outright hate Dream... in his Enderwalk state. (with the sole exception of Punz, if you think the vault confrontation was staged, but that's definitely theory territory.) Dream has repeatedly stated that he finds Tommy "fun" and enjoys fucking with him. Tommy was locked in the prison after Ranboo could no longer visit, so assuming he has no supernatural means of communication with Dream (which is likely, as we have no real indication otherwise), he would have been acting without instruction. What better way to help Dream out than getting him his 'plaything' for at least a week?

Alternatively, you could frame it as a distraction or a break in/out attempt... which also doesn't make sense for anyone but Ranboo. Either way you frame it, Ranboo is the only person who makes sense without having to stretch their relationship with Dream into something it isn't.

Tubbo's investigation was the only real in character investigation into this incident we saw. He started out investigating people who were online, which is why I believe it's uniquely relevant to this incident. As I mentioned earlier, Foolish's alibi was that he was live. Ranboo's alibi was that he was mining. If you recall, the day Tommy was locked into the prison, Ranboo acknowledged that he did not know what he had done that afternoon, and that he distinctly had not been mining. This investigation didn't get much further than this because Tubbo refused to acknowledge that Ranboo could have done something like this. Because Ranboo has hidden his enderwalking so well, no one has any reason to believe he would do something to intentionally hurt one of his friends, or to help Dream.

Canonically, there isn't much evidence outside of Ranboo's comments to the audience because the characters absolutely cannot find out that it was Ranboo. He cannot be revealed as a traitor, narratively. Not yet, at least. So all of the evidence has to be directed towards the audience, which leads to it falling into subtext more often than not. The Enderwalk arc has the potential for an absolutely disastrous reveal at some point, where others discover exactly what he has done. It's unlikely that something like this will be confirmed explicitly until that point, but I believe the details I have explored above are foreshadowing, and will be explored again at this reveal. This point applies to the nuke, as well--perhaps even more so for reasons I will explore below.

Second: The missing nuke.

This one treads a little more into theory territory, but I think some of the subtextual implication is in this one too, it's just a bit further apart. Instead of being implied in streams the day of the incident and one week later, these implications are a little bit further out. I don't think I'm necessarily stretching by making these connections, though I can see why someone may think it's a stretch.

Ranboo was not online during this stream. This is why I think that's only conditionally applicable to the last point--Tubbo does not check tab habitually, and he had chat turned off intentionally. The tab list isn't necessarily canon to this stream. If we go by that, Jack Manifold is physically the only person who could have taken the nuke. The only other people online were Philza and Foolish, who were both live. Since this wasn't taken into consideration for the investigations, it's not relevant here.

Out of character, Jack took the nuke. Jack did not stream his perspective of this incident, he hung behind when Tubbo went ahead to start building the silo, and when the two came back together later, it was gone. This was intentionally done, as Jack usually streams his perspective for lore like this. If he had been the one to take the nuke, we likely would already know. His secret plans are not a secret from the audience, they are a secret from other characters--this leads me to think that in character, he did not take the nuke.

Very few people knew about the nukes, so we already start with a pretty small pool of suspects. One of these people was Ranboo. Even if Ranboo did seem to forget what Tubbo told him, the nuke would have been taken while he was Enderwalking--y'know, when he remembers everything, or at least remembers more.

The backbone of this theory, and the reason why I even began to consider it, is that Ranboo has a very solid and clear motivation to want the nuke. Ranboo has been helping Dream. The nukes were made specifically to be a deterrent/protection against Dream. If Ranboo takes one of the nukes, Dream now has access to that nuke, and the playing field has been re-balanced. Essentially, it's creating Mutually Assured Destruction between them. To take it one step further, only one of the nukes went missing. Tubbo was left with one nuke, and Ranboo and Dream have one nuke. Why not just take both? Well, leaving both parties with a nuke essentially ensures neither side will use it. It protects Dream, but it also helps to maintain (a semblance of) peace. Neither side can use their nuke without the other retaliating in kind. This leads to tensions, but prevents outright warfare from either side. It's not pretty, but it aligns with Ranboo's broader goals of keeping the peace.

So we've got the motivation, it makes sense. But that's not enough to make the claim on its own. What's the evidence?

This is a touch convoluted, so I get why it doesn't necessarily come up in relation to this as evidence often, but it's pretty solid to me. Especially compared to how vague most of Ranboo's subtext can get.

It's in the lessons! The highest number of lesson we were given was 94, though when Ranboo was repeating it outloud, he said 93. He later clarified saying 93 was intentional. This stream was on April 23rd. 93 days earlier, to the day, was January 20th--the day Dream was locked in the prison. 93 lessons for 93 days. If we take this to imply the lessons were daily, starting when Dream was locked in the prison, each lesson corresponds to a specific day. March 26th was the day the nuke went missing. 67 days from January 20th is March 27th, the day after the nuke disappeared without a trace. Neither Jack nor Tubbo had any real leads on the nuke. Lesson 67, the day after the nuke was stolen... "Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." This EXACT thing is why the nuke is so hard to pin down. There was no real evidence left. This lesson lining up so closely to the nuke's disappearance is not a coincidence. Further, at this point Ranboo no longer had contact with Dream. He had locked himself out of the prison and couldn't visit. If the lessons are daily, the things he writes down are things he's figured out for himself. The lesson being the day after the nuke was stolen makes sense, when framed like that. He stole the nuke, left no evidence, and wrote that down because it worked.

All of the hints/foreshadowing for the eventual reveal of where the nuke disappeared to has to be done in retrospect, and it has to be either from Ranboo, or from some other source that knows more than the characters. Which leads into my second bit of evidence: the Tubbo Texts. Across like, a week of streams (starting on April Fools Day), spooky half transparency cryptic text appeared on screen periodically, that c!Tubbo was unaware of. Those texts have never been explored in canon, it seems that none of the characters are aware of them or of their contents. So they are posed directly to the audience. The second one in particular stands out to me here:

"Quick, I don't have much time. Stay away from the North. A strange metal weapon washed up. It poisons the nature, the water. No it's not. That's it, we are leaving."

The 'strange metal weapon' seems to refer to the nuke, the poison being the radiation. Geographical direction is rarely paid any mind on the server, but north is distinctly the direction of Techno, Phil, and Ranboo's house. I think I remember Ranboo telling Sam he lives "up north" while trying to visit the prison. The arctic commune is the only notable northward location. The nuke disappeared, and reappeared in the north, in the direction of Ranboo's home. The rest of the texts refer to the north as well. We don't know where Ranboo's base of operations is in the Enderwalk, but we can assume he has at least one, and we can assume the nuke is hidden there, if he has taken it. If Ranboo has taken the nuke, it makes sense for it to be in the North.

Ranboo has proven he can take things without any evidence left behind. Remember his first beacon, that disappeared like, a day after he set it up? He never tracked it down, just replaced it. Within a couple days, he made a comment about his pickaxe durability being suspiciously low... maybe because he was using the stolen beacon to mine far from his home base so it wasn't noticeable that he had been mining. That's beside the point. I mean this to say, he knows how to take and hide things, he knows how to keep secrets, and he almost definitely has at least one secret base we've never seen onscreen.

So maybe Ranboo took the nuke, maybe he set off the TNT at the prison, that's cool, but why have they abandoned the plotlines? Why have we never gotten more explicit answers? Why won't they come back to it?

Ultimately, it seems a lot of these plans have been pushed back and delayed for one reason or another. Beyond that, an untimely reveal of either of these things to other characters would be a huge letdown. The arc seems to be building to a catastrophically large reveal, and each thing that gets revealed before then makes it much less impactful. Keeping it subtle towards the audience, while still offering some hints, stops a certain degree of the chat spoiling "metagaming" we see sometimes, that makes some streamers have to fully ignore their chats during lore streams.

This part is very much my own opinion, but I don't believe the missing nuke plotline will be resurfacing until after Dream is out of prison. Ranboo has no reason to reveal he has it until it will be put to use, either as a nuke or as a threat, and that won't happen til Dream is out of the prison and the nuke is in his hands instead.

The TNT on top of the prison will be an insanely gratifying reveal if it comes out with the rest of the enderwalk stuff. Any of this taken out of that context just kinda falls flat. So people know Ranboo set off the TNT, or know he has the nuke. How does that propel the plot? Ranboo won't do much of anything about it. People will distrust Ranboo, sure, but they won't know the depth of the issue, and that just makes the reveal frustrating. It will be revealed in time, I'm sure, but I think the enderwalk arc has to reach a climax first, or it's just disappointing.

I agree with the general frustration that these plotlines appear to be dropped or greatly delayed, but it's a symptom of a bigger pacing issue than solving either 'mystery' on its own will fix. And the answers aren't as obfuscated as they first may seem, it just takes a little digging!

[sleepysnk]

i decided to write some angsty fluff for you guys because i just really wanted to get this idea off my chest. i hope you all enjoy! ♡

He Missed Out

Pairings: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader

Warnings: some angst, swearing

"Still no response?"

(Y/N) sat there on Eren's bed staring at her phone. She was waiting for a reply from Jean, the guy she liked. He was lagging again on her for the 5th time and of course, she went to Eren to rant about it.

Eren and (Y/N) had been best friends since they were toddlers. Eren lived right next to her and their mothers were close, they bathed together, played at the playground, celebrated birthdays, went through the shitty four years of high school, and now they are going through the next four years of college.

The two watched each other grow up. They were no longer these children who played tag or rode bikes until the street light came on, but rather adults who had to prepare for their futures.

Eren's brunette hair was now long, it grew past his shoulders and could be tied in a neat man bun. (Y/N) grew into a woman practically overnight, her face showed her growth.

"I don't know why you're wasting your time, isn't this like the 5th time he's ghosted you?"

Eren stepped into the room with a bag of chips, he tossed it onto his bed so she could take it.

"He didn't ghost me! He's just not sure if he wants a relationship," she replied, grabbing the bag of chips off the side of the bed.

Eren rolled his teal eyes. "Yeah okay.. I've heard that one before. He ghosted you (Y/N), just like last time."

She leaned back against the headboard, she hated how Eren could be so pessimistic sometimes. He always looked at the bad in certain situations, it was clearly his toxic trait. He was too stubborn to admit it though.

She never understood his stubbornness, many people in high school questioned how she dealt with Eren and his crazy mood swings. He had a temper, causing him to get into fist fights and arguments with anyone in the student body that pissed him off. She always told those people that she could easily calm Eren down, somewhat like a comforter for him.

"He'll be back tomorrow," she said, opening the bag of chips and shoving a few in her mouth. Her tongue tasting the saltiness.

Eren didn't necessarily believe that. "Whatever you say.." he replied before plopping down next to her.

A sudden ping from her phone made her ears chirp. She grabbed it seeing Jean's name across the screen, a smile forming onto her lips.

Eren grabbed the phone from her. "Don't respond," he said, placing it next to him.

(Y/N) turned her head towards him. "Why not? Eren! Give me back my phone. It's rude to not respond," she said, trying to reach over and grab it.

His eyes narrowed, "What? (Y/N), you've got to be kidding me. He ignored you for a whole day, it's rude of him to not respond." he felt frustration going through him.

She pouted a bit, crossing her arms. "You never know Eren!"

Eren shoved her phone in his pocket. "Yeah okay.. you better provide the same energy. Don't reply to him and I swear if you do I will call your mom," he said and reached for the remote.

She rolled her eyes at Eren's actions. He didn't know why Jean wasn't responding, so why should he be mad?

"Fine, whatever you say." she said, looking at the tv screen.

-

The next day was another dreaded day of classes and homework. (Y/N) was swamped with assignments and so was Eren, he had so much to do he could barely keep count of the amount of essays and other work he had to do.

"We could study together!" Eren said, nodding his head at (Y/N) as they walked through the campus.

She was on her phone, not paying too much attention which bothered Eren.

"Hello?"

Eren grabbed her phone out of her hands.

"Eren! Give it back!" she yelled, trying to grab it from him.

He stared at the screen, seeing Jean's name displayed on the screen. Jealousy rang through Eren, it made his chest feel tight.

"Seriously?" he said. "I told you to give him a rest, (Y/N) he's literally a dick."

She rolled her eyes before taking her phone back. "Eren I get you're trying to be a good best friend, but really, I got this. He told me he was busy, relax." she replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

Eren was frustrated, why the hell does she keep going back to the guy? He's put her through so much bullshit and it bothered him to the point that he wanted to punch Jean in the face himself. He always bit his tongue on it, but it was like a thorn in his side whenever she talked or ranted about him. Can't she see what's in front of her?

"Yeah.. whatever.. look I gotta go anyway," Eren said before walking away and leaving her there.

She watched as he turned the corner, fading from her vision. Eren was stubborn but he usually got over things like this, what was the problem now?

Eren scoffed making his way to class, his mind was now clouded with negative thoughts. He wished (Y/N) would just listen to him! No matter how much he tried she wouldn't ever give his words a chance, it's like she didn't want to face the actuality that Jean was a lying asshole.

As Eren turned the corner he was faced with a sight that made his vision turn red.

There was Jean.

Leaning in against another girl.

His green eyes grew wide at the sight, what the fuck was he doing? His eye twitched at the sight, Jean was lying to her. It was blatantly obvious, and that explained why he would disappear for hours to days on end. (Y/N) was his second choice. He whipped out his phone, snapping a photo before heading off to class.

-

Two weeks went by and (Y/N) heard nothing from Eren.

No calls, no texts, nothing.

She tried approaching him at school but he ignored her, he avoided going in the same directions she did and whenever she tried texting him the messages were always opened.

She wasn't sure what she did but she needed her best friend right now. Jean stopped talking to her again, and she needed a listening ear. Eren was her usual go to but without him here, she didn't know what to do.

Here she stood outside Eren's apartment. Her heart thumped in her ears, she could feel it throughout her whole body.

She knocked on the door, waiting for a response.

The door opened, Eren's gaze met hers. She could faintly see his jaw tighten up and his face harden from the sight of her.

"Eren.. um, can we talk?"

He didn't say anything but move so she could enter his apartment. She could smell the faint scent of his body wash on his skin.

"Don't you have class?" he asked, plopping down on a chair.

She fidgeted with her fingers. "Um no.. I finished my classes early," she replied, looking at him nervously.

He nodded his head before sipping the water in his cup. "Mm.. I see"

She felt the awkwardness and tension through the air, something was up. She just didn't know exactly what.

"Jean stopped talking to me again.." she said, avoiding his eyes.

A chuckle escaped Eren's throat. "Huh.. doesn't surprise me but what can I say, you let it happen." he stood up, heading towards the sink.

What the hell? Eren has never said shit like this before to her.

"Okay seriously, what the fuck is your problem!? You ignore me for two weeks and now you're being a dick??" she scoffed.

Eren's head snapped towards her. "My problem? You want the honest truth, (Y/N)? You really wanna hear what the fuck is going on?!" he yelled, his voice sounding serious.

"Yes! It'd be good to know!" she replied, crossing her arms.

He laughed before leaning against the counter. "Jean doesn't fucking like you. Okay? I'm so fucking tired of how dense you are."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What? Eren you don't understand how complicated it is!" she replied.

He laughed again before sliding his phone in front of her. "What's complicated about that huh?"

She picked up the phone, her eyes grew wide at the sight of Jean leaning against another girl. She felt hurt, angry, upset. Nothing could pinpoint how she felt.

"I-I'm.." she felt tears burning her eyes.

"It's so hard being your friend.." he mumbled, looking at her.

Her head shot up, "What?! Eren-"

"No let me fucking speak for once. It's so hard being best friends with you, these guys walk all over you! And guess what? I'm the one who has to fix you! Then what do you do (Y/N)? You go back and let them treat you like shit."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, a few sobs escaped her mouth.

"Eren-"

"I'm not finished, do I gotta remind you? Levi Ackerman during your freshman year? Porco Galliard your junior year? I was there for all of that. You kept going back to them and you never once listened to me! I warned you so many times, yet you rather not face the facts. I was always there to pick up the pieces." he said, his voice loud.

She sobbed, Eren was right. She never listened to him, he always was the one to give her warnings and yet she still went for it anyway.

"Eren.. I-I'm s-sorry.." she cried.

He scoffed, "It's just.. you never saw who was in front of you," he said, looking at the floor.

Her head shot up, "What? What do you mean?" she asked, her brows furrowed.

"Don't you get it (Y/N)?" he asked.

She shook her head, "N-No..? I don't even understand why you're yelling at me either!" she replied, wiping a few tears off her cheeks.

"Christ (Y/N), I fucking love you that's why!"

Silence filled the room between them. She felt her heart suddenly swell, deep down she always knew she loved Eren.. she just pushed those feelings away because she thought it was just a best friend kind of love. But it was more.

"B-But.. what about Mikasa? A-And Historia?" she asked.

Eren walked towards her. "(Y/N).. I love you, I never loved Mikasa or Historia.. they were just close friends. I always hung around them to try and push what I felt away," he replied.

"I don't understand.. how long? Why didn't you ever just come clean?" she asked, few tears escaping her eyes.

He looked away from her. "(Y/N) I knew I loved you when we started high school, Armin noticed, so did Mikasa. I wanted to come clean sooner but everytime we got close you found another guy and pushed me out of the picture."

Her eyes went to the floor, she was trying to process this information. She never once thought Eren felt the way she did, she always figured that she'd be only a best friend, nothing more.

"Eren.. I'm sorry, I'm such a horrible best friend." she said, sniffling a bit.

He walked in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Don't apologize.. I don't wanna see you hurt anymore that's all," he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears on her cheeks.

She looked into his eyes, she noticed how they softened now. "E-Eren.. I-I love you.." she said, curling her fingers around his wrist.

His eyebrows shot up, "What? N-No you don't.. you're just saying that to make me feel better," he replied, looking away.

She used her hand to turn his face towards her again. "Have I ever lied to you? Eren.. I knew I loved you, I thought it was just a best friend type of love, but I knew deep down it was more than that."

His cheeks dusted pink, "I just... I don't want you saying it because I said it. You genuinely mean so much to me and fuck... (Y/N) I wanna be the one to heal you from everything," he said, cupping her cheek. "I want to make you forget all of the hurt you went through."

She felt a smile grow onto her cheeks. "I'd.. love that," she replied, looking into his hues.

Their faces were now inches apart, his lips ghosted over hers before he leaned in and kissed her. Her lips were soft, warm, the kiss was passionate, it felt.. real. Her arms went around his neck, bringing him down closer to her.

His hands found their way to her hips, he pressed her body against his.

Breaking the kiss, she looked up at him. "I love you.." she said.

A smile grew onto his lips. "I love you too.." he replied. "Please.. let me be the one to heal you from all of this, I promise, I'll never hurt you."

Her cheeks grew warm, "You promise?"

"Have I ever lied to you..?" he asked.

She felt a smile grow onto her features. "Well no.." she replied.

He pecked her lips, "There's your answer, now come on, let me take care of you."

He lifted her up, her legs going around his waist. "Eren! Be careful," she said, slapping his shoulder.

"I won't drop you, trust me!" he said, taking her to his room.

-

"I haven't heard from (Y/N) in days," Jean said, looking at Connie.

He shrugged, "I dunno! Maybe she lost her phone," he said.

Jean sighed, maybe she was just busy? He wasn't sure.

"Uh.. Jean?" Connie said, hitting his arm and pointing at someone.

Jean looked up, his jaw dropping.

There she was, but she wasn't by herself. She was with.. Eren??

"Ha! Sucks to be you!" Connie said, chuckling at Jean's expression.

He glared at him, "Shut up! What the hell?! That doesn't make sense.. she was talking to me!" he said.

Eren smirked as he walked past Jean and Connie, his hand around (Y/N)'s waist. He felt enjoyment watching Jean get pissed, he also seemed to take in that Jean noticed the small bite marks around her neck. All provided by Eren of course.

"Stupid Eren.." Jean mumbled.

Eren looked at (Y/N), she smiled up at him. "That was probably the most petty thing I've done," she giggled.

Eren smirked, leaning down to kiss her lips. "He missed out," he replied.

"He certainly did." she said, taking his hand into hers and going to class.

[hwascripts]

What Izuku would be like in a relationship: The positive traits, the toxic traits, his love language, my own personal headcanons and an overall conclusion

WC: unknown

TW// POTENTIAL SPOILERS, No smut but Izuku is aged up, Toxic traits aren’t necessarily toxic...more so just bad traits, Teeny tiny little bit of angst, I think that’s it!

Masterlist

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming the following headcanons are true. You are 100% free to disagree with me but please DO NOT send me hateful comments or asks. I am simply writing what I think Deku would be like in a relationship

a/n: Just to let you know, your nickname for him is Zuku just so you don’t think I kept spelling his name wrong.

-Deku is literally the kindest soul ever and it makes me want to cry. He’d give you his umbrella if you ever forgot yours, he’d literally carry you to first aid if you ever injure yourself- this man will legitimately do everything for you

-He’s incredibly observant. If he catches you looking at a pretty ring then he’ll literally show up at your door days later with that very same ring in his hands

“I saw you looking at it a few days ago and I wanted to surprise you!”

“Zuku baby oh my god how much did you spend?!”

“You don’t need to worry about it sunshine”

I wholeheartedly believe Izuku would call you his sunshine or something along those lines

-I have this one headcanon of him drawing you all the time as an excuse to “observe you and your quirk” but it’s really just because he wants to admire the way you shine underneath the sun- and that’s how he came up with the name Sunshine for you

-Deku has a heart of gold oh my god, this guy cares so much about you it’s unreal. Imagine trying to hide the fact that you’ve been crying while on a phone call- mission failed because he heard your shaky voice and now he’s on your doorstep with your favourite hoodie of his and your favourite snacks

-His memory is insanely good, like it’s freaky how good it is. Like you mentioned to him ONCE that you liked a certain drink and now he pulls up to your dates with that drink all the time (not like I’d complain if Deku brought me my favourite drink)

-Just like Bakugou, Deku is incredibly smart and he literally always comes up with a solution. You could literally vent to him about a problem you’re having at work and he’s come up with at least 73 solutions within 6 hours

-He’s determined and hardworking. Again, he’s just like Bakugou in the sense that he’ll put his blood, sweat and tears into whatever he’s doing- no matter if it’s a serious high stake mission or something like planning your weekly date. The second he puts his mind to something, he makes sure to give it his all.

-Izuku is your own personal cheerleader, this dude will hype you up no matter what. Training after work? he’s cheering for you. You completed a really difficult task? you better believe he’s gonna pat you on the back for it.

-He’s very protective of you. Remember when the LOV attacked the training camp and he rushed to find Kota? yeah he’s 10x more protective of you.

-And it’s not because he thinks you’re weak and can’t defend yourself, it’s because he genuinely worries about you all the time and just wants to make sure your always safe

-He’s an inspirational person, he makes you hella motivated to do even the most boring chores around the house

-Deku isn’t afraid to show his emotions. Unlike Bakugou, he’s often seen showing his emotions. Deku said “toxic masculinity who?”. He definitely gives 0 fucks if someone sees him crying/upset because I feel like Pro-Hero Deku would stop the stupid mindset of “Hero’s can’t show their genuine emotions”

-Izuku is the type of person to analyze all his losses, figure out what he did wrong and then learn from it to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake again. He’s the complete opposite of Bakugou who gets bitter over his losses due to his superiority complex.

-He’s so good at comforting you that it’s unbelievable. Deku gives the warmest hugs that make you feel so safe- you literally cannot change my mind about this

-You know those hugs where the other person lightly rubs your back and lightly sways side to side with you? Yeah those are the hugs that Deku gives (he’d definitely give you a sweet little kiss on the forehead/cheek)

“Sunshine come here, let me hold you while you let out all your frustrations. I’ve got you, nothing can hurt you while you’re here with me”

-Can you tell I want some comforting Izuku hugs? He wouldn’t let go of you until he put a smile back on your face and GAHH oh my god I need Izuku hugs

-As much as I hate to do this, it needs to be done 😔✊🏻

-Izuku is such an over thinker, this guy worries about EVERYTHING under the sun. Your eyes didnt crinkle when you smiled? he’ll think you’re upset with him. You gave him a side hug rather than a normal hug? he’ll think he did something wrong.

-He’s self aware that he overthinks things but he just can’t seem to stop his thoughts. No matter how many times you reassure him that you aren’t upset with him, he’s subconsciously thinking about how to make it up to you

-He constantly pushes himself past his limits. You guys saw how many times he’s broken his bones. Deku may be intelligent but when it comes to his own self he can be completely hopeless

-The amount of times you’ve scolded him while you clean up his scrapes and cuts is insane. He just sits on the toilet lid and bites his lip nervously while you wave your finger angrily at him

“Sunshine please, I said I was sorry and that it won’t happen again!”

“Zuku you and I both know that’s a damn lie, I’ve had to patch you up 3 times this week! When are you going to start being more considerate of your limits?”

-I’m sorry but I picture him being so nervous to initiate anything with you. This guy would be so fidgety just by THINKING about holding your hand

-And deep down he knows he’s being ridiculous because come on, you’re his S/O and he’s been dating you for years now- why does he still get shaken up just by holding your hand?

-At first you think it’s cute, he’s just being respectful of your boundaries- but as time goes on you kind of get a little annoyed because he always asks you a bunch of times if you’re okay with him being affectionate.

“Zuku...sweetheart you know you don’t need to ask me a million times if I want to cuddle, right? I love cuddling with you!”

*cue sweating* “I’ll keep that in mind, Sunshine”

-He eventually gets a lot more comfortable with affection...more often than not you wake up with him nuzzled into your side like a cat

(Side note PLEASE wake him up with a bunch of kisses, he’ll literally melt)

-He’s very insecure about his scars because they make him feel like he’s “ugly” and sometimes he doesn’t even want you to look at them

-Do me a favour and please kiss along his scars/ trace them with your fingers while you compliment him- he’ll start crying because the scars he thought made him ugly are now starting to look beautiful to him

-This isn’t necessarily a toxic trait, more like a bad habit. Whenever Izuku gets stressed he’ll train himself to the brink of exhaustion just so he can try to focus on something other than how stressed he is

-Again, not a toxic trait but a bad one...Deku puts everyone else before himself. Which isn’t a bad thing if it’s done in a healthy amount, but Izuku goes to the extreme. I feel like he’d neglect his own needs just to satisfy everyone else and you’d have to intervene before it gets worse

“Sunshine I said I was fine, you don’t need to worry about me! Your Zuku is perfectly energized and ready to go”

“Zuku don’t lie to me, you know I can read you like a book. You’re coming with me and I’m putting you to bed”

-I hate to say it but this guy hates confrontation so much that sometimes he’ll suffer in silence for MONTHS before he even hints at being upset with something

-I honestly think your biggest argument with him would be about his lack of communication in terms of him not being completely honest about how he feels and he just breaks down-

-Like he has a really bad breakdown because he’s been bottling everything up for so long because he hates the idea of fighting with you.

-And now he’s sobbing because he’s so frustrated that he doesn’t know what else to do

-Anyways, the two of you just silently comfort each other until you’ve both calmed down enough to talk properly. This is the night Izuku finally starts opening up to you rather than bottling up every negative emotion he feels

-I honestly think his love language is a mixture of giving you gifts and words of praise

-He’s a little shy when it comes to showing you how he feels through affection, so giving you gifts and his praise get his point across

-He’s totally the type to send you cute messages throughout the day, send cute selfies when he misses you, or he just sends you a random bouquet of flowers because he saw them and thought of you

-Also the type of guy to have photos of the two of you displayed around his office. His most prized one being the photo of your first mission together

-Just warning you now that if you ever mention that your suit ripped or a certain item isn’t functioning properly then he’ll literally buy 10 replacements- each one better than the last

“Zuku I said that the sole of my BOOT ripped off, not my entire suit!”

“Well now you have 10 new upgraded suits to make sure it won’t happen again! Isn’t it great, Sunshine?”

(Someone take his credit card away from him)

I definitely think Izuku would be an amazing S/O! He’s caring, kind and comforting- and he does his very best to try and work on the bad habits he has.

Overall, I would say Izuku definitely would win a “S/O of the year award” (sorry Bakugou)

[isthataneren]

apologies ~ bakugou katsuki

request: hello! I was wondering if you could do a Bakugou x Reader (if requests are open ofc❤️). Maybe Bakugou said something he didn’t mean to the Reader, and she like leaves the middle of class to go to the bathroom to cry- and like some of the girls go to comfort her/ask if she’s doing fine. But that doesn’t help- so Bakugou ditches class and goes to comfort her in the girls bathroom, and the other girls are like “cUtE”. Sorry if this made no sense but I thought it would be cute 😳. love your writing!

a/n: Thank you! And of course! This is a really cute idea and I may have went overboard with it haha but I hope you like it! It kind of turned into a first ‘I love you’ scenario too...

∫ pairing: bakugou x fem!reader

∫ warnings: cussing, (too much?) fluff, slight angst in the beginning

∫ word count: 1.7k+

Being with Bakugou had its ups and downs. Most of the time he was kind to you in his own way; pressing a chaste kiss to your head before class in the morning as he walked by your desk or shoving a drink in your hand when he sat with you at lunch. 

Occasionally he would say things that others would see as mean to say, especially involving you and your fighting. Nothing bad necessarily, just criticizing your form. You knew he meant well with his slightly harsh remarks but sometimes he would say or do something that would hit you deep. Even if you knew what he said wasn’t intended to be offensive, it still could affect you. This has only happened once in your relationship so far, and today was that day, unfortunately.  

You were sitting in the classroom, waiting for the next class to start. Today had been pretty bad so far. There wasn’t much reason for why you felt so upset but you guessed it was all of the all nighters you’ve been pulling to finish a project that you didn’t even want to do to begin with. The other people who were supposed to help you ditched so you were stuck with doing all of the work. Figures.  

The stress had been weighing on you for a while, causing you to be pushed to a limit you didn’t know you had. 

Of course, this was also a day when Bakugou wasn’t feeling too nifty either. I mean, he normally didn’t look like he was happy but today he was even grumpier than normal. When you went to greet him, he only grunted in response, which in hindsight you should have picked up on right away that he didn’t want to be bothered. Due to your inability to pay attention when you’re stressed, however, it slipped your attention.  

It only got worse as the day progressed. You would try to ask him something and he would still only grunt at you, not bothering to look up from what he was doing. This was causing you to become a little more upset than you already were. Was he mad at you? Did you do something wrong? Did something happen that he wasn’t telling you?

All of the negative thoughts were causing your head to spin so you decided to do the only rational thing (at least it seemed rational at the time) and confront him about it.  

The bell had just wrung to signal class switch. You had around five minutes to ask Bakugou what was wrong.  

You slowly approached his desk, taking a deep breath to steel your nerves.

“Katsuki...”  

“...” No response.

“Is something wrong?”

“...”

Biting your lip, you toy with your uniform slightly, trying to push down the tears that are starting to form in your eyes.

“Did I say something yesterday to make you mad?”

“...”

“I’m sorry but please, talk to me!”

He finally snapped; his voice sharp.

“SHUT UP! Holy shit you’re annoying sometimes...”  

It felt like a weight fell on your shoulders, causing them to sag slightly as the tears you were holding back began to fall. His words finally pushed you to your limit.

“Oh...okay...”, you cough slightly to cover up a soft sob, “I-I’ll just go then.”  

And with that, you ran out of the classroom, avoiding the calls of your worried classmates. You ran until you reached the bathroom at the end of the hallway a couple halls down. After running inside, you slammed the stall door shut, collapsing in the tiny space, finally breaking down into sobs.

Mina turned to Bakugou, glaring at him.

“Bakugou what the hell man?”

She, along with the other girls of the class, ran out to follow you.

Bakugou slammed his palm on the desk, before sighing heavily, dragging his hand through his hair. He could feel the glares of some of his classmates burning through his back.

“Fuck.”

A couple of minutes later Jiro came through the door, worry displayed on her face. Her expression caused the others to tense slightly. Kirishima was the first to speak up.

“Is she alright? Where is she?”

“She’s in the bathroom. She won’t answer us. I can tell she’s crying though.”

Bakugou’s heart drops into his stomach when he hears that, his face faltering slightly. Jiro turns to him, giving him a pointed look.

“Bakugou, I think it would be best if you talked to her instead. You know she’s been having a hard week, right?”

Of course, he had noticed you were stressed but you tend to clam up so as to not bother him when you feel this way. Usually you come around and tell him what wrong but you didn’t this time. He felt stupid for not trying to talk to you sooner.

“I knew it had been shitty but not this shitty.”

“Well, right now she needs some comfort and you need to apologize.”

He was already going out of the door before she could finish her sentence.  

“I know.”

The bell wrung as soon as Bakugou located where the other girls were at. They all turned to face him with varying expressions. None of them were happy, though they all looked a little relieved that he showed up.

Not saying a word, he brushed past them but paused when he heard Momo speak.

“Don’t hurt her again.”

He replied instantly, his voice firm.

“I won’t.”

And with that, he let the door close behind him.

It was silent for a couple of seconds until Bakugou heard a soft sob.  

“Y/N?”

You fell silent, not wanting him to see or hear you when you were an absolute mess.

“Leave me alone.”

His heart cracked a little hearing the tears in your voice.

“I’ll leave you alone if you listen.”

“...”  

“I-”  

He sighed heavily. You could tell he was trying to figure out what to say.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

When you didn’t speak, he continued.

“I’m sorry for saying what I did. You’re not annoying. You never are. I was just frustrated about some shitty stuff that happened this morning and it had been bothering me to the point that it made me angry. I didn’t want to upset you which is why I wasn’t respondi-”

“You’ll miss class.”

He stared incredulously at the stall door that you were in. You really thought that was important at the moment?

“You think I care about some shitty class when you, the girl I love, are crying in the fucking bathroom because of me? Are you kidding? You’re more important to me than that.”  

His words made you tear up more but this time for a different reason. Slowly opening up the stall you look at him with eyes wide with surprise.

“You love me?”

Not moving, he stared back at you, defiant.  

“Yes, I love you. I know this isn’t the best way to say it,” he gestured with his hand at the fact that you were in a bathroom, “but you need to hear it. I want you to hear it. It doesn’t take back what I said, and that’s not what I’m trying to do but I mean it. I love you so fucking much it scares me sometimes. I thought the only thing I would ever care about is becoming the best pro-hero but then you walked through the door the first day of class.”  

He paused, closing his eyes and taking a breath to try to reign in his emotions a little. You just stood watching him, eyes still wide.

Opening his eyes, he continued.

“I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight because that would be a damn lie. But every day a little more of me seemed to become attracted to you until one day I realized that you were just as important to me as becoming a pro-hero. It scared me, feeling like this. When you ran out today, after I realized what I had said, I knew that I couldn’t avoid this anymore. I was scared that I was going to lose you. I still am. All because I can’t keep my shitty mouth shut.”  

His face was blushing slightly as he looked off to the side to avoid your gaze.  

“Katsu...”

Not even a second later a weight hit him.

“Wha-”

Your arms encircled his waist as you buried your face in his chest. Once he realized you were hugging him, he relaxed slightly, wrapping his arms around you as well.

It was silent for a second before you mumbled against him.

“I’m sorry for being overdramatic.”

He scoffed.

“Don’t apologize, you aren’t being dramatic. I’m the only one who needs to apologize. I should have been a better boyfriend and talked with you instead of fucking snapping your head off.”

Pulling away from him slightly you gave him a soft smile.

“Let’s work harder to talk about our problems then, yeah?”

Chuckling, he ruffled your hair before pulling away completely.

“Yeah.”

After a couple of seconds of looking at each other you had a realization.

“Wait a minute...You followed me into the girls’ bathroom?!”

He deadpanned. 

“Really? Again, you think I care?”

“Well no but...won’t you get in trouble?”

“We’re both going to get in trouble for being late to class so I don’t think it matters much.”

You nodded at his reasoning, ignoring his amused stare.

“I guess we should get back to class then. Everyone’s probably worried...”

“Tch.”

You walked to the bathroom door, opening it as you talked to Bakugou, who was close beside you.

“I wonder if they-” you paused, seeing that most of the girls were still outside of the bathroom, “uhhh guys? Why are you not in class?”

Uraraka smiled sheepishly while Mina eyed you both with a smirk on her face.

“We wanted to make sure you were alright...”

“Mic said he wouldn’t start until you guys were back. Jiro explained what was happening. We’ll probably get detention though.” Mina grinned. “It was so worth it.”

“EH?! What are you talking about raccoon eyes?”

“You guys are cute. You know that?”

“Shut it!”

Mina snorted before turning around waving slightly.

“Let’s go!”

The others followed while you hung back with Bakugou. He was grumbling under his breath about what Mina had said, causing you to grin slightly.  

“Katsuki?”

He looked at you, raising an eyebrow in question. Reaching out, you took his hand into yours before you leaned up to press a soft peck to his cheek.

“I love you too.”  

Letting go, you jogged to catch up with the girls who were walking into the classroom, leaving a very flustered and speechless angry boy behind.

[justwonder113]

I saw that you're gonna start writing haikyuu fanfic and !!! I have a request if you don't mind. Daichi with a girlfriend (or partner if you prefer writing gn) who is usually very tough (not necessarily stoic or mean) they're pretty physically strong and generally have spent their lives looking out for themselves and everyone else(v self sacrificial... probably to an unhealthy degree) and daichi and them have a fight and they just sorta break down about how they always have to look after themselves and everyone else and how no one's ever been the one to protect them and they just want a moment where they don't feel like they have to fight all the time, perhaps ends in fluff? Idk if you like the idea I would love to read your take on it but if not that's totally cool!:)

Hi there, thank you so much for an amazing request like this it was an amazing challenge for me and I really hope you like it, I'm really sorry I haven't been able to update it earlier, it's just it turned out harder than I imagined, but I'm really glad I finished it, I really enjoyed writing it maybe it's because I know the feeling but i don't know, I hope this is what you had in mind and I hope you will like it too.

Daichi x ( f)Reader (but nothing's really implied so basically I think it's gn, have to proof read it again.)

WARNINGS:Angst to fluff, mental breakdown and anxiety attack, also a reader who isn't somfortable showing their emotional side and is more of a lone wolfs who can take care of everything by themselves.

Word cound; around 3k

You didn't even know when you started shielding yourself from everyone and everything or when was the first time you thought that you had to be the one in control of everything all strong and all, but it was part of you now definitely. You didn't think of it as something bad and you certainly didn't expect that your timidness could lead you to having an argument with your boyfriend.

For as long as you knew you were the one taking care of everything, you dealt with your own stuff and sometimes even helped others with theirs. It was always like that and at this point you just got used to it.

You liked the fact that you were this reliable, strong and independent person in the other's eyes. It made you feel better about yourself. Just knowing that people felt like they could trust you and come up to you was kind of ego boosting. It was also good knowing that there were people who looked up to you and admired you.

You were fine with keeping up this image if you knew that you made others feel at least somewhat better with your words of advice.

You knew how important it was sometimes to just let everything out but you were not like so many of your acquaintances, you couldn't just go to someone and vent out everything you had in you no matter howuch you trusted them or how approachable they were. Firstly, if you were to open up to someone you would need to have really deep trust to the said person, and secondly you just couldn't vent out because you knew how it felt like to be on the receiving end.

You loved your friends and you would move mountains for them, you really appreciated that they felt safe with you and trusted you, but sometimes being on the receiving end all the time and taking all this negativity away from them was really emotionally draining. Like some people would come up to you whining about all the drama in their lives and how miserable they were, they would let out everything and then would just leave without even asking how you were doing. You just couldn't do the same to the others no matter how much you were going through, you wouldn't burden them with your problems and all your drama. Even if it meant storing everything inside for all eternity.

Well it wasn't like you didn't want to let your emotions out and vent out everything to everyone, to let someone else help you bear this burden at least once, especially at times when you felt most vulnerable, then dealing with all this seemed impossible, whenever you were so stressed that it was affecting your lifestyle, you couldn't eat drink or sleep normally. Or whenever everything seemed to pile to the point that you felt this horrible tightness in your chest area, when your stomach was swirling nonstop and you felt claustrophobic, when your breathing was shaggy and your mind was foggy yet wouldn't stop working and kept coming up with all those unnecessary thoughts. Those were the times when you truly felt that no matter how strong and capable you were you didn't want to be alone. You didn't want to be this strong person for just this moment, you didn't want to be the one in control you wanted to be the one taking cared of and being pampered. You wanted to just let go knowing that someone was there to listen to you, to hold you when you finally fell apart.

You thought that maybe you were shielding everyone from this side of you, you didn't want to burden them, you didn't want to come as overbearing and maybe you were shielding yourself from them too, because what if others found you annoying, too weak, fragile and unable to take care of everything. Maybe they would find out that, in the end, you were nothing special, you were too pain and just not worth it, so it was a perfect defence mechanism.

You weren't doing anything wrong right? So then why was it the reason you got in the fight with your boyfriend? Why was something that was meant to protect you this much pain? And why couldn't you say anything even after this? Why were you still terrified of speaking up? You were talking about Daichi whom you trusted with your whole life. A man who was willing to be with you trhough thick and thin. You didn't know anyone else who was more reliable and kind or sweet like him. You felt thankful everyday that you had him by yourside, he made almost everyday better for you.

Maybe that's why you were so afraid to speak up? That he was so perfect? Maybe after seeing this side of yours he would realize how much more he deserved. He would realize how flawed you actually were and that you were not worth all this trouble and that terrified you. You were most definitely not ready to end things with him, not that you were thinking that you would ever be. Daichi was the one thing you wanted constantly in your life, you were hundred percent sure of it. He was really precious and dear to you even though he didn't really believe you now.

You felt that you were slowly losing control over yourself and gripped yourself tighter, to make you feel more safe. It felt like the walls were closing down on you and you felt claustrophobic even though you were on the balcony and the chilly wind was hitting you in the face. Your whole body was trembling but not from the cold weather or your chilly out of place attire. You felt numb like there was nothing inside you, only this heavy thing on your chest and all this thoughts that were only making things worse.

What was the time even? You lost track of it trying to regain yourself, it had to be really late, as you watched horizon you noticed that sun would soon start to rise, you stayed up all night huh? Daichi would wake up soon too to go to work too, how could you avoid him then? You didn't know what to tell him, what to do. You coudln't even go to bed, to lay next to him, you felt guilty because you knew that as much as you had your reasons to act this way he had them too and he also was in pain because of you, because he thought that you didn't trust him and didn't love him enough. You felt terribly guilty because you couldn't even manage to say anythin after he opened up to you, after he showed you his vulnerable side. Daichi wasn't the one to openly talk about his emotions so you knew what it cost him too. You hated yourself so much for it.

You couldn't really stop the tears at this point, any second now you would fall apart and you didn't even know if you would be able to pick yourself up before he woke up.

"Y/N?" You heard a deep grumble making you jump. You looked back to see your boyfriend looking at you with wide eyes. In seconds he was next to you wiping your tears away, scanning your face carefully. "You're freezing! What are you doing here? Didn't you go to sleep? What about your clothes? Where is your robe? You will catch a cold!" He kept mumbling to himself while rubbing your cheeks gently, he looked completely awake now. How did he care about you so much after you hurt him this bad, how did he not leave? Why was he so worried about you? Were you really worth it? Why did he really love you? So many whys were piling up in your head.

You felt this tightness against your heart and you doubled over holding your chest tightly. The sobs kept breaking our from your mouth and your whole body was shaking uncontrollably. Daichi immediately took you in his arms and took you inside sitting you both on the bed and wrapping a blanket around you to at least somehow warm your freezing body. His large hands immediately found their place around you as he helped you sit on his lap, rubbing soothing circles there and there to help you calm down whilest murmuring against your neck to just keep breathing.

"I'm here love, you're safe, you can let it all out." He mumbled and placed a kiss on your shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere... You're safe, I'm here with you." You continued sobbing you couldn't really stop now, it was as if the dam was finally broken, you couldn't really hold anything in even if your life was on the line Daichi was the only one grounding you. Thankfully Daichi didn't even think of letting go, he held you in his arms and let you let everything out. It felt like you've been crying for hours, eventually fatigue must have taken over because the next thing you saw was total darkness.

When you opened up your eyes the first thing you noticed was the brightness, it must have been at least noon now. The next thing was two arms still being tight around your frame.  Your head was still on Daichi's  shoulder. He must have moved you both because both of you were under a blanket now, still in yesterday's attire. You felt a bit sore, but that must have been from sitting for hours on the balcony. Your head hurt like crazy, it felt like you had one of the worst hangovers, you could swear you could hear slight ringing.

"Are you awake love?" Daichi asked quietly to check if you were really awake, he shifted slightly groaning quietly, it made you jolt up which was a bad decision because your head hurt even more now.

"Were you like this all night? God I'm sorry it must have been so uncomfortable!" You felt guilty seeing that he spent all night sitting against bed frame having you in his lap. It must have been really uncomfortable.

"It's fine, I didn't really want to let you go. How could I, I think it was the first time I have ever seen you cry. It scared the hell out of me when I saw that you were not in the bed and then it scared me even more when I saw that you were on the verge of breaking down on the balcony at 4am. How are you feeling now?" He took your hand in his and looked at you expectantly.  You froze, it was what you were afraid of, you made him worry so much and he saw how pathetic you could get, on top of it you made him spend whole night like that just because he felt responsible of you. "Okay I can hear gears in your head shifting and based on your look right now I'm pretty sure you're thinking unnecessary stuff. Just don't hold back talk to me, please?" He looked at you with pleading eyes, squeezing your hand tighter.

"I made you worry, and you spent the whole night holding me in that uncomfortable position all because I couldn't hold it in and was weak." You mumbled in shame.

"Who said that I thought you were weak?" Daichi asked and he honestly looked dumbfounded.

You took a deep breath and looked away. "I'm saying it, I hate it when I can't control my emotions and act like a whiny crybaby. I hate whenever it happens, and everything seems out of my control, and I especially hate it there's another one to witness it. I don't want people to see how weak I am." You finally said it and looked down in shame wrapping your hands tighter around your frame. You looked up when Daichi pinched both of your cheeks and inspected your face again. "Ow Dai what are you doing?" You whined.

"Had to make sure you were human and not a robot." He smiled at you and kissed your hand. " I will tell you a secret, I have never thought that you were at least somewhat close to being weak, in fact you're probably one of the strongest people I have ever met. I admire you, I really do.  You're so strong, confident, this powerful person whom everyone loves and admires including me." He placed another kiss on your temple, "you don't know how proud I am to be called your boyfriend! And I don't see this habit of yours as something bad, I was out of line yesterday and I really hurt you saying that you don't trust me or love me, it was never my intention to make you worry this much and seeing you in that shape because of me really broke my heart. I know you trust me and I know you love me, you never fail to make me realize it. You're always there for me whenever I need it, through thick and thin, you always know what goes in my mind and always help me with whatever you can, I can't really count how many times you have helped me. You make every day brighter for me and I can't help but feel thankful that I have you. You don't have to worry about it okay? It's just that I got insecure and it really got to me that's why I was on edge yesterday and provoked an argument." He rubbed his neck  sheepishly when he noticed that you were dumbfounded, he took a deep breath to continue. " It's just that seeing you being all reliable and approachable made me question if I was doing at least remotely good job being there for you too, you're always doing everything on your own like you don't need anyone else to do what's needed and I was worried that you would realize that you didn't really need me. I guess it was my own way of saying that I needed some sort of confirmation." He rubbed his neck looking away from you, "I know you're capable of taking care of yourself and that you don't like showing your vulnerable side, that's completely understandable but you're a human too. You shouldn't just hold everything in, you have to let it out at some point and I want to be there for you when that happens. I like that you're always there for others, for me but I don't want you to forget about yourself, I want you to think about yourself more. You're amazing, the most amazing human being and I thank the stars everyday that I met you. But when I see you struggling hut still trying to shrug it off to play it off because you don't want to burden anyone or just because you're not used to asking for help really breaks my heart. I can't bear to imagine that something like yesterday can happen again. I've known you for years and no matter how much you try to hold it in I notice when you're struggling. I know you have been stressed a lot these days, you don't eat nor sleep like you used too and there's also some other signs. I wanted to give you time, you would approach me when you felt like it but when you never did I started questioning whether or not was I a reliable partner for you. Now I realize I was just feeling pretty and how much my words actually hurt you." He leaned his forehead on yours, "I'm sorry love." Listening to all this you could feel your your eyes start to water up but somehow you didn't really feel the urge to bring yourself together asap, you felt oddly comfortable.

"Have I ever told you that even tears look best on you? God how am I so lucky?" Daichi teased you and started littering your face with kisses making a smile break from you. You smiled fondly as you started to play with his hair, Daichi only hummed in appreciation. "Man, how am I so lucky?"

"Shut up, you're being sappy." You tested, Daichi grinned.

"I'm not the one in love with a sappy person," his eyes tingled with mischief.

"Well, I can't deny that, it's very much true." You purred and gave him a kiss, "I'm helplessly in love with a sap, who is the most amazing boyfriend, he's the most loyal, kind, dependable and amazing person, who makes me happy every day. I trust you the most and I know that I can count on you any time of any day. I didn't approach you because I didn't want to affect the mood, your life has been going on great and I didn't want ro ruin your good mood. I also knew that part of my problems were caused by me so I wasn't really in the mood to talk about it and I knew I had to be one to take care of everything, well I thought I could. Mostly I didn't want you to think I'm weak, I'm not that confident and powerful and I have many flaws I was kind of afraid you would see it and realize that you deserve better" you sniffed and rubbed You nose, you felt vulnerable, it felt as if you were naked and were showing yourself to Daichi, every word was stained and forced and it made you really uncomfortable but you wanted him to know everything, he deserved it. Daichi gripped your hand tighter to encourage you. "It's just I've been dealing with everything on my own since I remember, it was always me, at first it was really lonely but when people started noticing my independence and resourcefulness I kinda grew into it, it was like a confidence booster, but after that when I really needed help, when I was unable to come up with solutions I found it impossible to ask for help. I'm supposed to be strong I'm supposed to be smart so why am I asking for help to others? Can't I deal with this? I just can't find the power to go up to others even when I know that it's most reasonable thing. I know I can rely on you and you don't realize how much of a breather it's for me, and you help me in so many ways and I think you don't even realize that. I'm trying to say that I will try better and I will make sure to get over this problem but I will need time, but please remember that I really love you and I trust you with my life and I will do my best to make sure you know it okay?" You were amazed, it felt like something lifted of your chest and Daichis smiling face only made the feeling stronger. Tears were still streaming down your face but you didn't really care, this was who you were and you wanted to show it to him.

"You're not perfect love and you will never be" your heart skipped a beat at Daichi's serious tone, you felt terrified because it felt like the moment you dreaded the most, you knew he loved you but you also knew he was one of the reasonable guys, "the word is already flawed because nothing in this world is perfect, not you, not me and not everyone and not everything. Everything has it's flaws I have them as much as you do. You don't need to be perfect and you don't need to work yourself to fix your flaws. You are who you are and that's why I love you, I love everything about you including this so called weak side of yours. I love that you strive to be the best but I don't like that you're bringing yourself down to achieve it. You're amazing, you're capable, you're kind and you're smart and god you're so beautiful both on the inside and outside. I think I'm lucky I'm even breathing the same air as you, " he smiled cheekily at you making you giggle. "I want to say that you don't need to fix anything this is who you are and I love and support you, but if you want to improve I'm here and I will help you every step of the way. I will be always there for you, you don't even have to tell me anything just somehow point to me that you need me and I will do my best, we can talk about it for hours or we can just sit in silence for the whole night but you will know that I'm with you, just please don't be afraid to approach me, I will never judge you and I will never turn my back on you. In fact" Daichi got up and went to one of the drawers only to take out small box and return to you. You looked up at him with wide eyes. " I didn't plan on giving you this het because I wanted to plan this romantic evening but I think it's a good idea to give it to you now. Y/n you're the love of my life, and as cheesy as it sounds you're my sun, my moon and my stars, you make me feel more alive than I ever was and you just make everything better. I can't promise you a wedding or something in the near future but I want to give you this to let you know how serious I am about you and this relationship. I want to give you this as a sign that I will be there for you and I will love you till the rest of my days. I love every part of you and I want to help to teach you how to love them too." He put the box on your palm after he finished speaking, you were speechless, and torn between wanting to jump on him and drown him with kisses and proclamations of your love and curiosity of the box. You opened the box to find that beautiful ring you were eyeing few weeks ago when you went out with Daichi.

"I think I fell for you harder." You mumbled still in shock, you stared ar your new ring with lovesick eyes, which by the way sat perfectly on your fingers.

"well look who's being a sap now," Daichi grinned and kissed the hand you put your ring on. "But either way it's good because since I didn't go to work today I demand my cuddles now and I expect to be given them now, few kisses would be nice too." You giggles and got closer to him.

"Aww is my babyboy feeling needy?"You teased but still started kissing his face, Daichi smiled and nodded his head, holding you by the waist tightly. You smiled and got closer to him, everything felt just perfect. He really was your safe heaven.

[moonbeam-writing]

♡ Day Three: Stupid Cupid ♡

❥ Character: Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom)

❥ Prompt: Enemies/Rivals to Lovers (+ a hint of Mutual Pining)!

❥ Quick Note: I don't even know how to explain how much fun I had writing this and I'm so excited for the other drabbles to be posted!!

❥ Warnings: None!

❥ Word Count: 2,012

— ♡ —

(Y/N) left out a long sigh as she sat on the balcony of the girl's hotel room. The Kyoto trip had been far more exhausting than she anticipated, though that was partially her fault. With Koro-Sensei as a teacher and Karma back from suspension, she should have known better.

(Y/N) and Karma grew up together, and despite being civil enough to each other, their personalities seemed to clash just enough for something of a rivalry to be formed. Neither of them even knew what they were fighting with the other about. It wasn't who was stronger or more violent, nor was it about who was smarter. They just seemed to need to be better than the other and that was that.

Rio Nakamura, on the other hand, was convinced that she knew the reason. According to her, their little competition was based on who could hide their feelings better. Rio and Koro-Sensei were so sure that the two had feelings for each other, though, obviously, neither of them wanted to admit it.

(Y/N)’s best friend and their teacher came up with a bunch of reasons as to why the two wouldn't admit things. Some of the most likely reasons they had come up with was that Karma just flat out wasn't the type who knew how to deal with his feelings, (Y/N) would be too anxious to make the first move and would rather die, the two were just intimidated by the possible change that it could bring.

As much as (Y/N) hated to admit it, they were right on some level. She liked him, but was horrified by the changes it could bring. The two had spent so long arguing with each other that she wasn't sure what they’d do otherwise. She didn't know where she’d be without Karma’s snarky remarks.

“Penny for your thoughts, sunshine?” A relatively fitting and oftenly used term for Karma Akabane: Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.

Suppressing an smile and instead, rolling her eyes, (Y/N) turned to Karma. The usual smug and teasing smirk he normally wore was plastered onto his lips and all she could do was look back out ahead of herself again before answering.

“Maybe if you were someone else.” She quietly chuckled to herself, moving her eyes to look at him again. “What are you doing here, anyway? Isn't Koro-Sensei still on the loose?”

“Probably.” The redhead shrugged, mirroring the girl beside him. He had to admit, the girls had a nice view.

Karma’s answer took (Y/N) by surprise. “What do you mean? Normally you’re first in line to go after him.” Her shock sounded in her voice and Karma couldn't keep his smirk from widening. “Also, what are you doing here? The room you would have needed to go into to get here is for the girls.”

“Aw, come on, (Y/N)!” Karma heaved a dramatic sigh. “Can’t I just come talk to my favorite girl?”

Though he posed the question like he were kidding, Karma was being completely honest. Despite how the two would often bicker like children, Karma really did feel somewhat close to the girl. After all, wouldn't it be rather difficult not to feel close to someone you've argued, bantered with, and competed against since you were little?

Granted, aside from the rival status that had been bestowed upon them, he recognized that his rivalry with (Y/N) was far different from his rivalry with Asano. He couldn't possibly convey how grateful he was for that. He wasn’t sure that he could cope if (Y/N) hated him.

This rivalry was much more positive and the two of them knew it. They were always secretly proud of whoever came out on top, outwardly giving a sarcastic comment or childish gesture. The two of them also always had the other’s back, despite not always outwardly showing it. That being said, (Y/N) has always blamed Karma for that, due to the fact that he could always seem to take care of himself.

“There’s no way I’m your favorite girl, Akabane. Your favorite girl to annoy? Sure. However, Okuda’s actually your favorite girl.” (Y/N) responded, keeping her tone witty and joking, however there was a slightly bitter edge to it.

(Y/N) would have loved to believe that she was Karma’s favorite girl like he had said, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. With Okuda’s brain power, specifically in regards to science, Karma could find quite the partner in crime inside of her after finding her wild side. After all, that was one of the things that Karma did best, at least in (Y/N)’s eyes. He was always so good at helping people let go. 

“Ha ha, I can understand where your mind is probably at, but you’re wrong.” Karma pointed out, turning himself to look at (Y/N) once again. “I barely know her. You, on the other hand, are someone I know. I’ve been bickering with you for years, (Y/N). If you didn’t amuse me in some way, we wouldn’t talk anymore, and I talk to you the most.”

Karma’s words left (Y/N) feeling conflicted. Was he being honest with her? He normally always was, but for some reason she just couldn't find herself believing it. What he said might have been true under normal circumstances, but (Y/N) couldn't see herself as someone who would fall under “normal circumstances”.

Despite her thoughts, (Y/N) couldn't help but laugh a little, though once again, it was more bitter than she anticipated. Regardless, the devilish boy beside her loved the sound.

“I’m sure. Just go back, Karma. Everyone’s probably going to come back soon, you wouldn’t want any of the questions that would follow if you were seen here with me.”

“Okay, and? Half the time they don't question my motives for things, and even then, I don't care.”

(Y/N) mentally swore to herself. She should have known that he would have a way to counter anything she said. Karma always did and it didn't sit right with her sometimes.

Despite how much she secretly adored the sadist, their rivalry absolutely wasn’t good in terms of how (Y/N) would occasionally see herself. To (Y/N), Karma would always be better than her, he would always be right. She had to admit that. It made her proud of him, sure, but it was also frustrating. She couldn’t help but get into her own head about it. (Y/N) always tried her best to get ahead of him, and though she’s supposedly had a few victories, (Y/N) knew that Karma was always going to be better than her. It was just an unspoken fact at this point.

“Right,” (Y/N) relented with a sigh. “Sorry.”

“You should be!” Karma answered as though he were stating the obvious. The girl beside him flinched slightly as though she had done something wrong.

Though Karma wasn't always the best with his own feelings, he could read others like a book. Even more so the girl he has always considered to be his best friend and one-and-only. Karma knew exactly what’s been going on in her head and it bums him out every time. So, with all of that said, the boy decided that tonight he’d put all of his thoughts about her out into the open. She seemed as though she needed to hear something nice about herself.

“You need to think more of yourself, (Y/N)!” Karma couldn't help but smile at the slight widening of (Y/N)’s eyes. Her reactions were some of his favorites.

“What?” (Y/N) almost immediately felt guilt pooling in her stomach. It were as though she were a little kid again and she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to and (Y/N) knew Karma noticed. He was too observant to miss it.

Karma’s smirk was as lively as ever. As nice as he wanted to be to the girl beside him, he couldn't help but tease her a little. If anything, he was sure it might cheer her up a little.

“You're so mean to yourself! You spend so much time worrying about whether or not you can actually compete against me, you've been destroying yourself.” He noticed (Y/N)’s grip on the rail in front of her tighten. “If you worry so much about something you’re already succeeding in, you’ll get wrinkles. The smile lines by your eyes are cute, but do you really want more?” He chuckled out, noticing the slight slack in her grip on the railing and the genuine, amused laugh that left her. It was small, but there.

“Getting kind words of caution from you? I never would have thought. To what do I owe the pleasure of those words, Akabane?”

Karma mentally celebrated his win in his head as amused and playful sarcasm laced itself in her words.

He gave a false hum as though he were in thought. “Do you really want to know?”

“You literally just dug yourself into a hole. You know I hate it when people hide things from me.” Karma just laughed as (Y/N) sat there with a pout. “Karma!” She whined. “Tell me!”

“You really wanna know?”

The two could feel the anticipation in the air. It sat heavily between them, but it wasn’t necessarily negative.

“Of course I do! You know I do.”

Once again, Karma found himself snickering at (Y/N). She could just be too cute at times.

“Okay. In that case...” In a very fitting fashion, Karma sat quietly for a moment, adding to (Y/N)’s suspense. “I love you. You’re my favorite rival, my best friend, and somewhere along the way I realized that I love you. You’re the best, (Y/N), and honestly better than me at most things unless it’s math or torture.” He threw a mildly flirty wink her way, taking in the way she averted her gaze away from him, the barely noticeable tint to her cheeks and ears. Karma knew he made the right move.

The two found themselves engulfed in silence again, still full of anticipation, though this time was different. It hinged entirely on (Y/N).

“Really?” Her voice was soft as she looked at Karma in surprise. He nodded at her with a shockingly soft smile. “I love you too.”

Karma grinned widely at her. “I'm not entirely sure on what to do next, I'm going to be completely honest with you.”

The pair laughed together and (Y/N) reached out to take his hand. It was all so new for her and it genuinely made her nervous, but she couldn't help it.

Using their connected hands, Karma pulled (Y/N) closer to him. Nothing big happened, just the two holding hands and being close together.

Until, they heard some noise, that is.

(Y/N) and Karma weren’t sure just how they hadn’t noticed before, probably from being so wrapped up in each other, but nearly right in their line of sight was Koro-Sensei, scribbling away in his little notebook.

The shock of their teacher seemingly coming out of nowhere faded quickly though, as Karma pulled out one of the specially made guns from the pocket of his pants and shot at Koro-Sensei. Unfortunately for the new couple, none of them hit, however it got him to stop writing about them, so they didn't exactly lose.

“You know, I always knew this day would come!” Koro-Sensei exclaimed in his usually theatrical way. “I knew it as soon as Karma was let off of his suspension.”

“Um, okay?”

“Ah, young love. Well, I’ll let you kids get back to it! Though, the girls are back, so good luck!” And just like that, their teacher blasted himself away from the situation at Mach 20.

“Okay, Karma.” (Y/N) sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. “We have two options. You can either help me sneak away, or we can face the music.”

“We'll just see what happens first.”

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao