#I know I love you too had everyone going insane
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'call it what you want.' | l.h x reader
pairings: logan howlett x sway!reader
tags: fluff, no established relationship but.. there's something there, mutant!reader (they call her sway due to her mutation.. i love her i wanna talk ab her someone PLEASE ASK AB HER), AFAB reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, no specific petnames for reader (just bub and her hero name.. gets called kid like twice), no use of y/n, written with x2 logan in mind... sigh... save me x2 logan.. anyway, he gives reader his dog tags before a mission in case he.. you know.. so maybe angst? but only til the very end.
wc: 2k!!
a/n: OKAY SO BOOM! this is my first actual work that's not a drabble and i'm so anxious to post AAHHH, i got the inspo from a post i saw a while ago while fried as fuck from someone requesting a fic ab logan giving reader his dog tags, pref fluffy and angsty so i hope i did ur vision justice OP!! tysm for inspo, my reqs are always open 🫶🏻 also i know this is a very burnt card but if something in the wording is off lmk PLEASEE english isn't my first language 😭 anyway enough yapping plz enjoy!! any type of interaction is appreciated
'call it what you want, just know these are yours now.'
you've never seen him without his dog tags, he never took them off, not ever since the first time he came into the mansion. you'd been there the first time, you were a teacher in the school, and you'd seen him occasionally roam the halls and stay by the door, listening in on your class, quietly. but very rarely interacted otherwise, just a simple nod or a 'good morning' that he'd return out of good manners, but he'd mostly keep to himself.
you're a teacher. you're the fun teacher. at least that's what your coworkers seemed to agree upon, seeing how your students appeared to leave your classroom more cheerful than they entered. you'd be lying if you said you didn't use your mutation as an advantage in this situation, being able to read your students' moods every day, how they were feeling and why came insanely handy, especially when it came to giving each student the type of care they needed. which is why you were also a student counselor.
on the days you didn't teach, you'd put that psych degree to work and counsel. in your classroom filled with drawings and fairy lights and stained glass that looked straight from a fairytale, and a door you'd lock for privacy as a student came to confide in you.
obviously despite your title, it wasn't only students who'd come to your office to let a feeling go, teachers too, needed a space to blow off some steam, cry a little sometimes, because they knew you'd soothe them in the end, touch your hand feel the pain dissipate, make it seem as if they'd never felt that way.
up until now, only teachers and students seemed to come to you for help. teachers. and students.
so it did surprise you when the wolverine started showing up in your office after coming back.
"must be tiring. to handle others' emotions like your own all day." he'd say, sitting down on a chair, to which you'd playfully roll your eyes and shake your head. "i don't treat them as my own, i just do what i have to do so they feel better." you'd reply, walking towards the door to lock it out of policy. figured that he was here for counseling as well.
"you treat everyone with so much care it seems like it." he said, which made you stop in your tracks, turning heel to face him, your hair cascading on your shoulders and moving ever so softly as you spun. before you could speak, stunned, he asked again.
"don't you get tired? i mean mentally. it must take a toll on you to be around so many emotions all the time." the way he seemed to read you stunned you, he seemed like a very gruff, cold person from the brief interactions you'd had with him before. truth be told, this was the closest you'd been to logan since he came back to the mansion. it's what other people thought of him, anyway.
but you weren't other people, you were different.
the feeling in your body when you perceive others emotions is strange. you could never put it into words. your mutation was mostly contact based, a small brush of the hand was enough to let you know that person's feelings, the reason behind them, what they needed to feel better and it made it easier to help everyone. you could, however, see and feel the emotions, sometimes even smell them if they were too strong, no need for contact necessary.
with logan, you almost didn't need to be in the same room as him to feel the amount of physical, mental, emotional strain he was constantly under, his superhuman body subconsciously tuning it out, making him oblivious to it. once, after a very dangerous mission, he isolated himself in his room for days, his expression cold and unfazed, but every time you'd walk past an area he was in, the emotions hit you like a truck. so strong you even cried over pain that wasn't yours, a life you hadn't lived.
you looked at him sympathetically, taking a deep breath to concentrate less on the seemingly invisible fog around you two as you sat on the chair, your expression calm and collected. "i'm okay, i promise. thank you, logan."
"like hell you are." "neither are you."
he stays quiet at your retaliation, a weak smile forming on his lips, letting you understand that you were right, not that you needed confirmation.
sometimes, when emotions overpower you, you feel compelled to speak, give words of reassurance, even if you didn't quite know if they'd help or not. "logan, you should let people into your heart, stop living in fear.." you blurted out, unsure of why you were telling him this, but you'd learned to not question it and just speak, because it helped to just hear the words sometimes. it certainly did get you a reaction from logan, as the overbearing feelings you were perceiving faded.. briefly, before they slowly crept back into vision.
it was the faintest of reactions, but a reaction at least.
he nodded, taking in the words silently, as if he were contemplating. you remained stoic, analyzing his demeanor out of pure habit. "did.. you come here for counseling?" you asked, suddenly aware that you were still working, and you weren't even sure if he was here for another reason, or if he did need your help. instead, he shook his head, looking at you as if he were conducting an analysis of his own.
"nah, just came to see you.. sway."
a knock on the door interrupted the brewing tension, a gloomy, childlike presence behind the door, to which you looked at logan apologetically. "i'm sorry logan, i have a student to attend.. but think about what i said." you spoke softly, your warm voice reverberating in his ears like a hug.. something he longed for but couldn't bring himself to ask.
you started seeing him around the classroom more, or rather, he started seeking you out more. in between breaks, before his training, during counseling. it got to a point where your children started greeting him hello and goodbye if he was in the classroom, interacting with him, playing with his hair, always styled like kitty ears. the way he just smiled and let them made something in you bloom, a feeling you couldn't recognize in yourself, but it was pink and warm and fuzzy all over. you couldn't help but wonder if he felt about you this way, too.
slowly, you noticed how, little by little, the gloomy cloud surrounding him would go away when he entered the classroom, how it would be replaced with a pink haze when he looked into your eyes, or made you laugh.. it would quickly fade away, but you'd notice, and noticed how much it resembled that feeling inside you: pink and warm and fuzzy all over.
as time went by, you got used to seeing him around, swinging by your classroom as if it was his haven, a small break from the world he knew, because you were in it. you'd be lying if you said he didn't make you day too, the gloomy atmosphere that once came along with him every time he entered your classroom slowly changing into a lilac haze.
one day, he showed up as the kids were leaving for the day, no colored cloud, but something seemed off. you invited him to sit down as he locked the door after getting in, his expression serene. before you could even speak his hands were on you, pulling you close to him in a hug, and you swore you could feel him shaking slightly. the realization hits you like a bucket of cold water and you just hold him tighter to you, since it feels like the only correct thing to do.
"you're scared."
"no one gets to see me like this, so feel special." said he, almost as if he was confiding a secret in you, which he was.
"oh, trust me, i feel quite special." you replied jokingly, which caused him to let out a chuckle, though it was dull and almost no feeling was tied to it.
you two let go and you asked him what was wrong, and he opened up like it was routine.
"i leave tomorrow. there's a mission out of state and they're asking me to go.. might be off the grid after that for a while." he explained, his voice remained calm but his eyes seemed to reveal to you more of how he was actually feeling.
"i dunno.. thought someone should've known in case.. things go south." your expression changed at that, and logan noticed. "ah, c'mon bub, change that frown, it's just reality. sure, i might be a piece of work to kill but it doesn't mean i can't die."
the silence that fell upon the classroom as you two finished speaking made the words fall with more weight into your heart, it did little to nothing to comfort you as you came to terms with what he said. it shouldn't have been hard - he was just stating a fact -, but it didn't mean that it didn't cut deep for you. you opened your mouth to speak, unsure of what you were even going to say, but he quickly cut you off.
"logan-" "listen, bub, you told me to start letting people into my heart.. i'm letting you in."
slowly, his hands went to unclasp the chain that always dangled on his neck, dog tags adorning his neck with his names, his identities. you looked in awe as he held them out to you. "gimme your hand, kid." and surprisingly, you did as you were told, holding your hand out as he placed the piece on your hand, feeling the cold metal clink softly as it fell and heat up under the temperature of your palm. you looked up at him, unsure of what it meant, of what this changed between you two, but it felt undeniable, even if unspoken.
“now, these.. they’re very special, bub. a reminder of everything that happened that led to here.. and it’s leading me to you right now.” he explained. “feels right for you to have them, i guess.. keep them safe, kid.”
the silence that fell between you two again was more comfortable, filled with a newfound tension that left much to question, but it didn’t feel right to interrupt with all that noise yet. the only sound filling the room was the breathing and a faint humming of the white noise machine you kept in your room, next by the door. you opened up your mouth again, your mind utterly blank and filled with thoughts and questions at the same time, unsure of which one was going to breach through your mind to materialize out in the cold, tense air.
“.. why me? trust me, i’m flattered, but i’m no one special, logan..” you questioned, and it made him frown.
“you are special. you're special to me.” your eyes widened at the confession and you watched as a soft smile settled on his face, one that made your heart flutter with the sheer tenderness he held in his gaze. “call it what you want.. just know these are yours now.” he said it so calmly, you wouldn't have tought he was handing you his heart, placing it in soft, tender hands and pleading you to not break it, not change it, and instead embrace it and accept it as it came, rough around the edges.
with that, he stood up from the chair, took your hand to squeeze it briefly, and walked out of the room, not before looking back at you one last time, the heaviness that he carried as he entered the room seemingly gone, all that you could perceive was a haze, all too familiar, one that left as quick as it came as his eyes met yours.
pink, warm, and fuzzy all over.
additional author's note: BOOM SHAKALAKA I POSTED FINALLY!! i think it's a little rushed BUT!! it's cause i have a (smutty) part 2 planned for this HEHEJEHE i don't like writing (or reading) series bcs i get sad when they end but i just might.... hehehe... anyway pls lmk what u think!! or i kill off logan 🥰🥰 your choice 🥰🥰
taglist: @allen-444
#made by: serae ♡#serae finally fucking posts#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x mutant reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan howlet x reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett imagine#wolverine x you#wolverine xmen#wolverine x oc#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fic#logan howlett fluff#marvel x reader#marvel xmen#marvel x you#x men#x men fanfiction#x men x reader
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I love that the sentiment of "I know what's best for you, why aren't you listening to me" was always a two-way issue between them Before.
With Alhaitham, it's pretty straightforward. He saw a problem, and tried to brute force it away, because he didn't understand back then that internal struggles aren't easily solved by just going "hmmm nope" and move to healthier mindsets and good boundaries.
Kaveh's altruism isn't the core problem, but the way he goes about it; and Alhaitham tried to fix it in the worst way by going directly for the problem by himself, even if it wasn't his battle to fight.
Kaveh needed a shoulder to lean on, not a savior to fix him.
But in a sense, it goes the other way around too, where Kaveh was always someone who tried to fit in and be a part of the collective; seeing a loner Alhaitham made him want to bring his junior between people and change him to fit in too.
He would try to bring people closer to Alhaitham through their research, berate him for not helping others over and over, point out every single "selfish" action and hoping Alhaitham would eventually go "you're right".
Kaveh was always someone who could bend himself into ways that fit in the social situation so he could be as helpful as possible, and seeing Alhaitham, who refused to do it at all even if he was capable of it, must have driven him insane. His junior is able of anything he puts his mind to, and he just doesn't want to?
Alhaitham needed to be understood, not changed to someone else's whim.
It's also why their eternal debates about their ideals lasted so long. If it was always about their subjective ideas and train of thoughts, it was fine to dig into. There was nothing inherently wrong about it, and could be separated from their persons easily enough. But the moment they went from "altruism vs egoism" to "Kaveh's guilt vs Alhaitham's selfishness" they both crossed their boundaries of debate into personal dispute; and those topics could be seen as their biggest inner obstacles they had to deal with in their past and present.
It's also why Kaveh was always hostile-adjacent before the end of Parade of Providence; they blurred the line of ideals and their persons enough for their frustrations to become synonyms to everything. And with their miscommunication, misunderstandings, and ridiculously sized pride and stubbornness, it took Kaveh to be fully hit with the reality of his father's fate and seeing Alhaitham try to give him the tools to deal with his guilt himself, to realize that they both changed and it doesn't have to be "Kaveh vs Alhaitham" anymore.
And then in the subsequent events, every time they pop up onto the screen, they are more open to each other, more relaxed, more...understanding of each other and their boundaries.
They still poke fun, and point out their weaknesses, and side eye everything said and done, because they cannot be Alhaitham and Kaveh without bickering (and making it a spectacle for everyone else). But they don't make it a pointed attack anymore. They don't take it personally, don't berate and demean. Instead they listen to what the other has to say, and ruminate over it, instead of flying into fights on sight.
Alhaitham learned to trust Kaveh to work through life on his own, and be there as a support.
Kaveh learned to let Alhaitham have his space to decide who he wants to be and who he lets in close.
They're not meant to fix each other, they're meant to be companions. Sometimes it's as simple as that.
you were not mine to save -> to be loved is to be changed
i keep thinking about how
if you boil down alhaitham & kaveh's akademiya-era fallout fight, it was that alhaitham wanted to change kaveh & kaveh could never agree with his proposed course of action
but now, as full grown adults, alhaitham isnt trying to change kaveh anymore
that core conflict does reoccur, as it did during Parade of Providence when alhaitham lectured kaveh after Act II & kaveh got annoyed
(even though Alhaitham was obviously just worried about kaveh's health/wellbeing...)
this is a common pattern of behavior for them: alhaitham is worried about kaveh & kaveh reacts defensively to it
which speaks to how stubborn & hyper-independent kaveh is
despite being someone who's dedicated to giving back to the community and contributing towards the larger social good, he's quite determined on his own path in life
he'll bear the consequences (ie bankruptcy) all by himself if necessary...! and he's much too stubborn to be talked out of his own decisions
i dont think there was any possible way kaveh could have walked away from the wrecks of the first build of alcazarzaray and still be at peace with himself
and kaveh even admits he was naive (in his teapot dialogue), but he doesnt regret it still even now
so i think its cool alhaitham realised that there's no point in trying to convince kaveh to change who he is
such is kaveh. kaveh will not be someone different, not even for alhaitham. his work & altruism are parts of his core identity
why fight a mountain who will not be moved?
instead, alhaitham goes for more "harm reduction" strategies:
help cover kaveh's bar tabs, which means he's also the one lambad calls to pick up kaveh & see kaveh home safely
snark at kaveh when he's ranting about clients to keep him in a righteous mood instead of getting depressed
there's a quote about how to be loved is to be changed....
and alhaitham certainly has changed so much from that smart-mouthed student who had pinpointed what he thought was the root of kaveh's overbearing altruism and figured he could fix kaveh's problems with that knowledge!
to now as an adult with a lot more life experience: alhaitham knows that kaveh isn't his to save
and the more he tries to force kaveh to changing, the more likely kaveh is to dig his heels in
alhaitham doesnt need to be kaveh's minder or overbearing best friend--
he wants to be kaveh's partner, his equal, which means respecting kaveh's choices for what they are
anyways kaveh's drowner analogy works rly nicely for this core conflict between them (changing people vs supporting them and protecting them from harm)
& i cant believe its canon
i really appreciate this aspect of their relationship too-- it feels very mature & realistic...
how easy it would be if you could just TELL someone how to fix their problems!
its very frustrating to see someone you care about run straight towards problems again & again...
but you can't change someone's mind bc you want it to be that way. they have to decide on their own, on their own volition, and to truly believe in their decision, for the changes to really stick
as much as it sucks that you can't just solve people's problems for them
the human experience is so much richer for all of our different perspectives and ideas and principles that will not be compromised bc someone else wanted it to be
you can't control people's thoughts & that's for the best (also alhaitham's SQ is literally about this lmao)
#they make me sick <3#on a sidenote#its funny how alhaitham says he would let someone drown if it was their choice or if someone else was already to help#because he damn well would save them if no one else would because that is simply the right thing to do#he doesn't enjoy peoples pain and suffering and he and kaveh once had aligned views#(i do think they misunderstood views and ideals back then. making them one and the same just to be hit with reality)#i need to shut up i blabber too much#thank you tho for feeding my brainworms op#alhaitham#kaveh#haikaveh
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Miedica. 𐙚 lamine yamal x black!reader
🤍 summary. Lamine is taking you on your first date together and he teases you for how awkward you are.
🤍 warnings. just fluff and banter i fear! also y/n usage 😒😒
🤍 wc. 600+
🤍 yap! i love lamine yamal nasraoui ebana with my heart. my starboy, golden boy, and my favorite boy. i fear no one loves him like i love him no beyoncé/yeah yeah yeahs. extra special dedication to myself because lamine is the loml!!
🤍 my girls <3. @ar4ujos @halfwayhearted @hrts4havertz @iovepoem @planetpedri !!
Now playing … While We’re Young by Jhene Aiko.
Baby while we’re young, I think we should do something crazy. Like say, “fuck everyone” and just run away from the daily routine. Yeah you know what I mean.
You were terrified. This was your first date with Lamine and your first date, well… ever. You had never been asked on one by a guy in a romantic way, not that it bothered you. It was just nerve-wracking that the guy you ended up liking the most would be the one. You didn’t know what to do, how to dress, or what to expect.
This was all new to you—and unfortunately, Lamine wasn’t going to let you live it down.
You arrived at the agreed place (the local fair), looking anxiously around for him. Maybe it would have been smarter to go together, but you weren’t ready for an awkward car ride quite yet.
“Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call out to you. That same voice that melted cooly into your ears whenever you heard it, whether it was in person or his interviews.
You turned around, face to face with Lamine. “Hi Lamine.” You smiled, hoping your fear wasn’t displayed on your face for him to see.
“You look… amazing,” he returned the smile. “Is that the bracelet I got you?” He lifted your arm so he could see it more clearly. One thing about Lamine was that he had no sense of boundaries when it came to his friends. He was just a touchy person, growing up with the trait. You loved it about him.
“Yeah, it is,” you responded, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. You hadn’t expected him to notice, certainly not this fast. Pulling your arm back, you asked, “Ready to go inside?”
Lamine tried to cover up his frown, masking it with his same award-winning smile. “Yeah.” He grabbed your hand, leading you in.
You passed a few rides and games before your eyes landed on the cutest plush tiger. “Oh my gosh, I need that tiger.”
“Which one?” He asked, standing next to you as you both looked at the vendor. You pointed to it and he nodded firmly. “Watch me work.” He held your hand, waving you through the sea of people. It sent a jolt through your body, his constant touchyness bringing you butterflies.
“Lamine, you’re insane,” you giggled as he handed the vendor his tickets.
“Oh, I’m insane for wanting to make you happy, okay,” he sarcastically responded, a sly smirk on his face. “I’m gonna win this tiger for you, miedica.”
“Disculpe? Miedica who?” You acted fake-offended, gasping and putting your hand on your chest.
He roller his eyes jokingly saying, “Forgot Héctor was teaching you Spanish. I need to tell him to stop.”
You giggled in response, watching him as he attempted to win your tiger. He did just that, handing the plush to you once won.
“Thank you, Lamine,” you smiled, holding the tiger close to you.
“Of course, miedica.”
Telling everybody your mine, and I like it. And I really hope you don’t mind, I can’t fight it. No, you know I cannot hide it ‘cause I’m so excited that I finally decided on you.
As the date went on, you realized maybe this wasn’t so bad. Until you got to the ferris wheel.
It was going so well, but he just had to recommend the most intimate ride of them all. Okay, fine. You were going to be super calm and chill about this.
Except your heart felt like it was pounding out of your chest and you thought you were going to drown in sweat. Could you really do this? Was this going to be too much?
“Are you okay?” He broke you out of your thoughts.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking,” you responded. Half-truth, half-lie.
He nodded, grabbing your hand again and guiding you to your spot. You two were way too close together on this ferris wheel. Your shoulders were touching and you kept ‘accidentally’ brushing hands.
Lamine looked over at you and said playfully, “Hey, miedica. Are you scared of me or something? You act like this is your first date.”
You didn’t respond, just giving him a blank look.
His eyes slightly widened before saying, “Wait, it is?” When your nod gave him conformation, he continued teasingly, “I’m honored to be your first.”
“You’re saying it like it’s a kiss,” you scoffed with an eyeroll.
“Were we not going to do that?” He asked. When he saw your fear he followed up with, “Just joking. But if you’re offering…”
“Lamine!” You playfully hit him on his arm as if you were reprimanding a toddler for their wrongdoing. “I don’t know, no one’s ever asked me on a one-on-one date before.”
“Strange. So that’s why you’ve been such a scaredy cat all night.”
You glared at him saying, “Scaredy cat?”
He put his hands up as if he was surrendering. “No, I just mean whenever I grabbed your hand you’d flinch. I was starting to think you didn’t like me.”
Your face softened, a smile growing. “The problem is I like you a lot. I don’t know how to show that.”
Lamine smiled, saying, “Well, we can start with this.” He grabbed your hand, your fingers lacing inbetween his.
#sakashq#lamine yamal x black!reader#lamine yamal#football#fc barcelona#barcelona#la liga#lamine yamal fluff
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Audio Drama Sunday - 10th November ✨
I found time to listen to a variety of shows this week and enjoyed them so much!!
🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (172) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So many character returns this week!!! I don’t want to ruin the wonderful surprise by saying names but !!!! !!! !!!!!!!! We are SO BACK BABY. Also it was so interesting to more of an insight into how The Count’s powers work! … Does the Countess have this too??
🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (40) ohhh this season finale delivered everything I could have wanted 😭 I adored the Traveller / Óli reunion and the fact that they’re now going to travel together as I was so worried this was going to be goodbye and I don’t think my heart could have handled it. As an owner of green cord dungarees, let me tell you, I am feeling so smug in my fashion choices right now hehe. What a lovely farewell to the Tola and S1 - I can’t wait for more ❤️
🎙️WTNV (257) Such a fun episode, I always love hanging out with the men who are neither short nor tall. I also loved the return of the of the Kia Sportage joke - had to explain to my friends in a quiet cinema why I was giggling so much at the pre-film trailers when they were advertised the other week.
🧋@hinaypod (22-23) Damn, what a story. I didn’t think that the Elders had truly been at war but it certainly seems that way!! Turning everyone you know into a puppet except your girl crush is wild behaviour 😭😂
🥾 @doyoucopypod (205-207) ooooof not the confessions of love right before a cave collapse - yikes. And Blair and Sarah never got to work it out ☹️
🍾 @ameliapodcast (33) Alvina backstory!!!!! I truly love her. I am Amelia, I see an insane woman and I just have to have her on the team. Every scene they’re in together makes me so happy and I kind of love that they’re in a cellar getting drunk while the Interviewer is in the air in a plane full of bugs.
🌨️ @thewhitevault (12) This show continues to be SO good. I felt something off about the new Iffie immediately. Just thinking about it sends a shiver down my spine. Who/what is she??
🎃 Waiting For October by @monkeymanproductions (Prologue + 1) This is such a fun world already! I knew I’d love Charlene and she did not disappoint hehe. So fun to hear so many familiar voices again and I’m so excited to see where this tale leads!
Have a lovely week, everyone!!
#audio drama sunday#hfth spoilers#travelling light#the amelia project#waiting for october#the white vault#do you copy#hi nay#wtnv
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hey, this is the anon who sent in the ask about loving the idea of a red - mc - briony triangle lol! you asked what i'm intrigued by so here it is (sorry if i'm butchering your characters with this, maybe it only works with my own mc and the vibes in my head)
it's a couple different things. first, i feel like the safety of that relationship would be unbelievable. the trust and genuine love would be insane. red and briony are both such compassionate and empathetic people and in that triad any one of them would have a soft place to land with the other two. so many steadying conversations and so much quiet comfort when it's needed, distractions (especially from briony lol) from difficult feelings or situations when it's needed. just the idea that, as fun and lighthearted as that relationship would be, there's always that undercurrent of deep deep understanding and unconditional space held. yeah
and god that relationship just seems like it Would be so fun and they would all so obviously adore each other....it could get to the point of being almost annoying for the other shepherds if it wasn't also so sweet lol. can't imagine them trying to rub it in anyone's faces at all but it would be SO heartbreaking for all those secret admirers to watch briony light up at the sight of red or mc and go bounding off to them across the courtyard, or to hear the way red can't seem to finish an entire thought out loud without managing to work some aside about one or both of mc and briony into it. (feeling like the relationship gets completely outed when a recruit heading down to the kitchens for a snack in the early morning catches briony and red coming out of mc's room. at the same time.)
i also think i just love the sort of natural push and pull that relationship would probably have to involve??? you've got briony there as a force for justice and assertiveness when it's necessary, when red tries valiantly to make conversation work in a situation where it simply won't, or when mc allows an insult to slide for the sake of maintaining professionalism. but red (and mc, depending on who exactly they are lmao) would also be able to curb the worst excesses of that and make sure she doesn't tip over into recklessness. and then briony and mc could immediately help pump the brakes on the more self-destructive tendencies red has, especially when it comes to his research- there are two people there who are perceptive enough to know whether or not he's eating, who can persuade him to come to bed instead of falling asleep at his desk (and who put blankets over his shoulders and pillows under his head on the nights he doesn't quite make it there). and of course, bigger picture, briony and mc (at least mien lol) would be knowledagble enough about magic and concerned enough about red's experiments w the worldwalkers to keep an eye out and who would notice, intervene, and have a serious conversation with him if his drive started to go down a dark or dangerous path. mc's trickier lol but at least in my little world with my mc, he really trusts both of them with some of his most private thoughts re: his fear of what's coming and his worries about failure, letting everyone down up to and including the gods, his past, etc.- they're people who are steadfastly loyal, and for mcs who would need space to talk about their anxieties they seem like they would be so safe, willing to challenge things that don't sound right or border on self-sacrificial but also gentle when they do it....i just think they would all bring out the best in each other, while also helping each other avoid the pitfalls of the most passionate (but consuming) parts of themselves. the stuff that's good in moderation but can get scary when it's too far
i could actually write a dissertation on this lmao i started typing and just kept realizing i had more to say. thank you SO SO MUCH for characters that are this fascinating and fun to imagine lol, i hope this wasn’t too much!!
Ahhhh thanks so much for sharing!!! I absolutely love reading thoughts like this, I think you're absolutely spot on with the characters and how a poly relationship between them would go! :) This was lovely, thanks so much for the fun read! 💖
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Some (very late) Malevolent 44 doodles
#ignore the bad lighting and cropping#it’s too late to worry about that#I know I love you too had everyone going insane#and I was too#but I’ll take care of you was just so ????#that moment will not leave my brain ever#such a nice episode#I am equally excited and terrified for the next one#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent 44#malevolent doodles
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Hello I'm randomly thinking about Healin Good PreCure for the first time in years and looking back at how wildly people misunderstood the point and expected every other season to follow a plot point that's very specific to it
#very jarring change of pace from talking about Jewish issues i know but like LISTEN#yes everyone loves Nodoka and the conclusion to her arc obviously. i love it too#but people saw her refuse help for an insanely specific reason and immediately jumped to 'every cure should now kill their villains!'#NO#THAT'S MISSING THE POINT#IT'S NOT ABOUT PACIFISM OR REDEMPTION IT'S ABOUT PERSONAL AUTONOMY#Nodoka might have forgiven or helped Daruizen if he wasn't going to take her over. make her sick and on the verge of death again#this isn't about forgiving him for being a villain but about him wanting to violate Nodoka's body#it's a very personal matter that literally only applies to her because no other cure was in this situation#none of them had to deal with a literal virus that wanted to crawl back and literally destroy their life#screaming again NODOKA ISN'T A COOL EDGY BADASS SHE'S A GIRL RECLAIMING HER BODY!!!!#SHE'S NOT A COLD BLOODED KILLER SHE'S A KIND GIRL WHO ALSO REALIZED SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE HER HEALTH!!!#the expectation that every other cure after her should be violent ignores that A:#SHE WASN'T VIOLENT#SHE ONLY TOOK HIM DOWN AFTER HE LEFT HER NO CHOICE#and B: ignores. again THE EXTREMELY SPECIFIC SITUATION SHE WAS IN#yes Nodoka is a queen you go girl#but she's not a hashtag violent villain killer#the other cures aren't wrong for being forgiving#the desire for violence shouldn't be forced on a series all about compassion!!!!#anyways. um. as you can see I'm normal about PreCure#mango rambles#PreCure#healin' good precure#healin good precure#forgot how i tag it#nodoka hanadera#Cure grace#anyways um. time to watch Wonderful PreCure I guess!
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not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time
#like the take of ohhhh Well this animal is smart and shows emotions!!! it might even be smarter than humans!!!#as if that matters literally at all#like the argument abt fish or hamsters or w/e being stupid (wrong) so it doesnt matterrrrr if they dont get cared for properly#as if its ever ok to mistreat animals.#in general the idea around smaller or less relatable animals being worth less is super frustrating#like if u post abt microwaving ur hamster when u were 6 everyones like ‘lmaoooo i did the same thing’#but if u posted that abt a dog….? The Gallows#we shouldnt have to care abt mistreatment of animals bc theyre cute or funny or smart#i just watched blackfish again and it annoyed me how much ppl were arguing abt the orcas being so smart and emotional etc#which is true. but thats just smth that makes their captivity harder. u jnow. like if they were simple and had simple needs it would still#be wrong if they werent met#its just such a huge issue bc of how hard the needs are to meet in captivity#same as like. bears and shit. you physically cannot give them enough territory to stop them going insane#ik theres ppl who believe All captivity is wrong#like my strpmum is one who believes nobody should own Any pet#which is. Imo a stupid argument and not at all sustainable. ppl need companions thats why weve had dogs and cats for thousnads of years#but also they are such successful pets bc their needs are so easy to meet!!!!!#its this misconception that fish or rodents are Easy Beginners pets… in reality they are 100x harder. but their lives are worth less to ppl#bc they dont show love the same way#well. anyways im not very good at expressing my thoughts abt serious stuff#but its smth that rlly upsets me#its frustrating too bc ppl either dgaf abt animals aside from Maybe the cute ones or r too extreme in advocating for the freedom of animals#like u can absolutely give indoor cats proper enrichment. its just slightly more effort#and its not as simple as just. emptyinb out the zoos. READ ABT KEIKO!!!!!#i feel its a very interesting topic. but ppl r very b/w on it#idk i feel the majority of ppl know so little abt animals its like. impossible to get thru#like ok cool u think zoos r bad bc the lions get saddddd. but u also think snakes and bugs and rodents are nothing but disease spreaders#and cant also have complex lives#Tsk. Whateevr
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Me, the only Ares and Nyx shipper on planet earth: 😏
#shut up alli#i mean in general too not just in this game specifically#i have my reasons#mainly being that of Ares being an often mischaracterized god and Nyx scares Ares’ fuck ass dad Zeus lmao#I will defend Ares with my LIFE he is not a bad god. not as bad as some of the other ones anyway#his parents hate him but it’s literally Zeus and Hera idgaf what they think#I know the general assumption is to portray him as evil feral man but I simply do not agree#I do think of course he is chaotic and a hothead but I just don’t think the man who killed his kid’s rapist is that bad idk#he’s also celebrated by women btw. he’s good to women#so when people make him off to be a sleazy creep it drives me insane he has NEVER been shown to assault anybody#idk everyone kinda clowned on him in written stuff about him and somehow the stuff showing his positive traits were mostly lost#which means everyone who does interpretations of him in modern media always does the same goddamn thing for him#makes me saddddd Ares you were done dirty#Hades so far has had a fine interpretation of Ares imo though. I like this fella and the way he counts the amount of enemies you killed#anyway I think Ares and Nyx should kiss. he deserves a dark beautiful women who doesn’t care that he kills ppl#I do think Ares and Aphrodite are cute btw I get the whole sybolism of love x war so no shade to it#butttt I also like playing with mythological beings like dolls hehe#anyway I’m autistic bye I have to go the store
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… why are we excessively vilifying one of the characters who are meant to clearly show the concept of humanity being flawed and concept, when it’s clear she’s mentally ill and you guys haven’t done this to literally any other character we’ve met whose been more reliably established as worse… :3
#rhine#sorry. sorry. can I talk about this? I need to#why the FUCK are we doing this#sorry SORRY !!!!!#SHES EVIL I KNOW FHIS.#BUT EHERE ARE THESE IDEAS SPROUTING FROM#SHE WSS.. STRICT?? AND MENTALLY ILL???#guys! albedo is NOT a baby! he’s not gonna be like ‘but my mommy’s good.. 🥺’ if she was THAT fucking horrible#there’s a REASON he had affection for her still#he’s studying humanity he isn’t DENSE#WHY DONT I SEE THIS ATTOTUDE FOR ANYONE ELSE. ONLY HER???#WHAT ABOUT EI. WHAT ABOUT SCARA OR. I DONT KNOW. THE FATUI????????#idk guys! seems silly! and makes me sad#-> SHES EVIL!!!! YES!!!! BUT THATS NOT SLL????#ALL THE SOURCES ESTABLISHING SHES ONLY EVIL ARE. PROPAGANDA AND BIASED#we haven’t even MET her#and all her sources are incredibly mixed#the ONLY main reliable source is bedo#and he clearly establishes. she’s not satan?? hello???#she was cruel. yes. cold. no shit#but she OBVIOUSLY held some affection. and she wasn’t heartless???#she sent him off??? to be with Alice??? who she knew who only showed him with love???#and affection????#these mfs trying TOO hard to antagonize her when she’s more#go onto dottore or some other insane antagonist fi you can’t take nuance. I’m sorry😭#-> okay now that I’m done time to do the monthly promote for nutmegs fic#everyone pleaseeeee read it#Pllleeassdeeeeee read show me and I will lie on ao3#it will change your life. okay.#it’s the best and most canon characterization of Rhine. SORRY !!!!!!!!!
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🌟
#you guys already know what tf is up!!!!#i should do a tag for sentinelposting so my poor followers shouldnt have to see this but im not gonna#u guys can count yourselves lucky i was gonna sentinelpost yesterday too but i didnt! so ur welcome#im gonna cryyyyy everything this show does is so endearing to me idk why#im not s3ep21 and we got a double whammy of slow-mo AND car chase scene#also the amount of stunts and like explosions and crashes they do in this series astounds me#modern series would neverrrrr#jim and megan are going undercover as a couple moving into a house AND STILL. AND STILL#jim has to have his emotional support blair sandberg moving in WITH THEM#insane. insane. the modern tumblrinas wouldn't survive this#they refuse to be separated for a single god damn episode and im not even in the infamous soulbond ep yet#also i love simons actor he Brrrings it every single time#hes got this like. i mean its not exactly camp its not exactly exaggerated but its like. its so funny#esp when hes in scenes with sandburg im having such a good time#sorry guys for getting obsessed with a stupid old series nobody cares about i genuinely cannot help it#also theyre so color coded this ep like whyyyy is everyone wearing red was this a conscious decision? im gonna cryyyyy#aaaaaaaa#my post#dw guys only like 10 or 9 eps left ^-^ i am gonna immediately rewatch some of them though so you will never stop seeing my sentinel posting#<3333#im cryinggggggg megs like flirting with jim and he IMMEDIATELY had to bring up sandburg#yes bitch we know hes the most important thing in your life!🙄#im actually gonna cry im having so much fun
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......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier
#IM KIDDING ALKJNFGADFBG IM SORRY MARK BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NAMED THIS PLAYLISTTTTTT#actually you know what on the slim to none chance i submit this at Just the right time and it gets a bunch of notes#and he somehow does actually see this post#(hi sappy/backstory tm incoming feel free to continue scrolling lmao>>)#mark you helped my mom so much#she was sick for 5 years and in that time as she got weaker and more tired what she had an abundance of was Time#and as someone who since losing her has now also become extremely depressed i underrstand Even More how horrible that kind of Time can be#to have and go through and be frustrated and devastated and bored out of your mind#but some of my friends started me in watching your videos#and she was my best friend#i shared everything with her#so of course i shared your videos too#and we would watch a lot of them together but you also have so many on your channel from so far back in addition to the new ones#that she had plenty to go back through and watch on her own while i was at school#we always felt like your humor and mentality fit right in with the rest of the household like you were a longtime friend#or neighbor from just down the road who we spoke with regularly or smth idk it was just so easy for your videos to be engaging and upliftin#she could have a playlist on to fall asleep to and be distracted from everything coming up...and that means more#than i could ever begin to thank you for#i think fnaf had been one of the things id been introduced to you through..and then tiny box tim we loved tiny box tim#back when you were first getting into making shorts and improving equipment/editing quality i always thought it would be so cool#if we somehow ran into one another on the street somewhere and i could offer to help#because i was watching those videos too! i want to make them as cool as possible and im going to school for it i know tips and tricks#and by now im sure youve probably surpassed what i know haha the INSANELY awesome and frankly gorgeous cinematography and impressive#but anyway... i know she had those videos to fill the Time when i was at school#and sometimes when i wasnt but when i was too exhausted#and i know you made her laugh and smile through it all#and that means everythingto me#ok well thhat got sappy fast sorry everyone christ#ive thought so many times over the years about trying to write something in the comments on a video or send an email or something and like#i feel bad same time cos i know soooo many people have similar stories or treat youtubers/celebrities like theyre actual saviors and angels
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i'm really enjoying disco elysium. way more than i thought i would it's just a really good game
#disco elysium#it's really 'my kind of game' as vague as that is (as my very favourite games fall into a few different genres)#but i Love a game that leans into poetry and makes you feel when you think#and i Love a game that doesn't require you to be fast or have good reflexes#and i Love a game with voice acting#and i Love Love LOVE a game that lets you check off tasks#and i like going thru containers and picking up coins and medicine eheehee#AND YOU CAN WEAR DIFFERENT OUTFITS#and i've fallen in love with your companion like everyone else has. kimz#kim#i know the game probably won't allow for it at all but in my head i'm playing harry as if he were bisexual and kim is gay#and they're navigating getting to know eachother and working together while also trying to figure eachother out#(i'm insane)#trying to figure out if someone else is gay or not is so stressful though i've had friendships for years where i'm dropping hints#and still can't tell for 100% certainty if they're also gay#but yeah the worldbuilding is a little dense for me at times but in an impressive way#and i sometimes have to fight my instinct to click every possible dialogue option because#i really actually don't want him to say that#i also don't really like that i can't understand what choices align with what personality i'm trying to create#but i guess that's gamifying it too much. but also i feel like i'm lacking in my understanding of political definitions#because this is a fictional world but many political labels are real#and in defining myself i've never been able to put my political ideaology under an umbrella. i just know what my stance is on major issues.#and that i'm extremely extremely left on the spectrum thing#so i was like: mm why is my communism score 12 and my fash score 3 etc etc#but again. it's a game. i'm just clicking dialogue options#it's a crazy good game though.#i wanna make an animatic for it mimicing the watercolour style of the art but i have No sweet clue how to work that style
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taking a creative writing intro course this fall and i’m so, so excited!!!!
#.txt#it definitely wasn't in the books but the other two courses i had slotted aren't going to work until the spring so i chose it as a filler#and then got really attached to it#first had to submit to the humiliating ordeal of confirming it was a personal interest course to my advisor but she was chill with it haha#(bc she was pushing for me to take another course that's only offered in the fall but i said maybe next year because i'm already taking two#other language courses) (it's too complicated for the tags)#i'm just genuinely so so excited#hoping it will consistently inspire me to write + i'll feel a little more learned#since i loved creative writing in high school but the first year of college was just crazy insane busy (which is kind of the vibe for my#future endeavors as well because almost full time work full time school ahahah)#of course scared that i'll have hardcore imposter syndrome and everyone else will be better writers and talented and passionate#which i want! but it also makes me feel a sort of weird vibe idk i know i'm good at writing. but the technical aspect is tricky#plus there's also weird feelings about childhood dreams -#as in i always wanted to be a writer but i learned to bite down on that dream because obviously it wasn't going to work out#so sometimes i feel like i failed myself by giving up on my dream even though i didn't really?#because studying something else was the practical choice for ensuring i have more prospects for career etc#plus i do like what i'm studying now#but writing was just what i always wanted you know#so i guess i can reclaim it a little now#school starts in two days though. haha *dies*
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ffxiv changed my brain composition the most out of all medias i have consumed and trust me i have consumed a lot
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#sorry. shb and enw especially#it's really hard to explain the best i can suggest is play it yourself (please)#you don't need to know any other final fantasies! fun fact tho xiv has a ton of references. it's like a love letter to the whole series#but yeah dksbfksj ... crystal exarch :)) so yeah. yeah! yeah#shb fucking ruined me i have never been the same since but arr and hw and stb all already ruined me#xiv had made me the most. insane#esp considering i like zenos too haha and elidibus hahaha and and and estinien and the twins and thancred and bascially everyone oh my god#i barely have anyone to talk to about this still actually. just my twin#i have two close friends i could talk to but we don't talk much about those kinda things. how brain-changing going thru ffxiv was
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Lmaooo watching other cheer teams have beef on tiktok and twitter with the team i was in is lowkey hilarious. I'm entertained. And also glad I'm out, because I'd be scared to wear that uniform and be jumped on by the 20 teams that have beef.
#tiktok randomly had a cheer tt on my fyp. which like random. also convinced tt is stalking me. bc I've never watched cheer vids there#and it was a pov you never won nationals in 15 years and you lose on your last year too. the team are crying and you can hear the winners#being announced. so happens to be my old team. someone commented: pov you're against THAT team.#and that's shade. but honestly rightly so. i remember our coach being so mad about everyone hating on them lmaoo#because what they'd do is put level 5 athletes in a level 1 team. i was level 4 and i got put in level 1.#because there's no rule against it. but it also means. if you are a proper level 1 team. you have no chance you know?#that's like getting a uni maths graduate to go against a secondary school kid in a maths competition....#we were shown tweets too back when i was in the team. or like you'd literally get hated on in the corridor at competition too.#oh the joys#cheer was a much nicer environment go back 10 years ago. It's just insanely commercialised now a days. to the point nothing matters#except for the money#oh and may i add. this specific tt had half a million likes. yeah.#i love this drama. and it's even better when you've had 13 years of insider knowledge of that team help
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