#I know I haven’t been active but there are some works in progress that I have 👀

[lovebvni]

mindset of manifestation & how i manifest

like melanie martínez, i am back from the dead.

i apologize for being gone so long, but i needed a break from tumblr. i saw toxicity swirling in the community, my life got busy, and i decided it was just time for a break. when i was planking to come back, i just saw how things got terrible and i got upset and decided not to come back.

so, im back now and with a little tutorial on how i manifest!!! <3 i hope this can help some of you out.

let’s start with background.

manifesting is kind of like predicting the future. you have something you want to happen, then it happens soon after. i feel like this is the easiest way to get into the manifestation mindset. you cannot change what you’re getting if you want it. could you change your mind later and return it like a package? yes! but before it arrives, you know it’s arrival is coming.

sure, there can be delays, but it all is going to turn out YOUR way in the end.

nile and i have been working on our mindset and this is something they wrote that i think can be really helpful — as it was to me.

from the past two years we have been actively manifesting, we learned that we often saw things as “crazy”. but manifesting isn’t crazy, it’s quite normal.

every time you get dressed in the morning, it’s an act of manifestation. you’re showing up with what you want.

manifestation is a mondane activity!! stop treating it like it was a kiss from an angel!

by reading this, you’re manifesting your eyes working, you’ve used your hands to open an app, and you have believed you can read and get through this blog! without manifesting that, you would not be here.

the first step to manifestation is believing you can do it, believing you have done it, and believing you will continue to do it. period.

there are many MANY different ways to manifest, but i manifest in 3 ways (sometimes i use all three, sometimes i use just 1 or 2.)

!! I ALMOSR FORGOT TO PUT THIS AND IM ADDING IT BEFORE I GET TO NUMBER 2 OMG!!

STOP! BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE I WANT YOU TO GET A NOTEBOOK, A SHEET OF PAPER, OR MAKE A CHECKLIST ON YOUR PHONE IN YOUR NOTES APP!!!

now i want you to write down everything you want right now down and leave the boxes blank if you haven’t gotten them yet.

once you get through that, i want you to randomly click between some of the items you want and write down things you wanted that you did get! they can be some simple and things from years ago, what matters is you have them down. throw in some things that you may have to do for school or work while you’re at it.

here’s an example! (left is before checking off, right is after)

as you can see, i added a note to the side because i got what i wanted and more abundantly! i had been manifesting a dog since i was a young child, and in 2021, i got 2!!!! (one is laying at my feet right now <3)

continue to do this daily, weekly, or whatever you have time for. i personally do this on notion and i try to add something new daily (im adding the heartstopper thing rn!!)

but yeah!! write everything u want down, and continue to add to it, just so u can see progress DOES happen and your work and effort DOES pay off!

affirming and persisting

this id the first way i learned to manifest, and the most self-explanatory.

you simply repeat what you want over and over until you get it! but not in the future tense, in the current or past tense.

ex; “i passed my maths final!”, “im so happy my boyfriend gave me those roses for valentine’s day, he’s so sweet!”, “i finished the essay for english like a week before it was due!” “i got the lead role in my play! im so excited!” etc.

now, the common factor between all of these is having a positive mindset about them. i cannot tell you HOW many times i manifested something would go well, and right before they happened, i got in a shitty mind space and wondered if it would ever happen.

but, nonetheless, i persisted through and i got what i wanted.

the pain have have been feeling cant compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 8:18

persisting is basically pushing through. think about the time you didn’t think you would make it through an injury, a school year, a trial, yet you still walked through it — even if it was slow.

like when work days are long and you want to go home, but you can’t, so you persist.

i try to think of my manifestations as an ultimatum. it’s going to happen, and that’s final. the only thing you have to do to get it is stay conscious.

and staying conscious, walking through those days, is how you get to the end!

i use affirming and persisting with pretty much everything, which is why it was first.

2. listening to subs.

it’s that simple — listen to an audible subliminal that has the results you want over and over!! that’s all i do u guys. here’s my playlist if u want it (IF I DELETE IT CHECK MY PINNED POST!! I UPDATE IT OFTEN)

i often use @stilljuststardust’s subs, slade’s subs, enchanted workshops’ subs and i want it, i got it’s subs!

all of them are trusted and credible. i cannot promise you that all the subs in my playlist will work for you, as they are (sometimes) linked to my personal desires.

3. pinterest manifestation!!

i recommend having either a whole pinterest account or a board set aside for this way of manifestation.

you simply make boards (or sections) for things you want. i would say this is best for physical items, people, looks, makeup, etc. things that re physically tangible, rather than something like reality shifting (although i do have a reality shifting board! it has been working pretty well <3)

i also have one for my mindset, my religion, so on and so forth (link btw)

i think this is pretty self explanatory. just save picture of things you want and quotes/affirmations and DONE!

i also use this sub with it :p it’s worked WONDERSSS!

if you have any other questions i will be happy to answer them!! i love you all!! go manifest!!

[sanguineterrain]

Hi again 😊 You suggested i could send another prompt, sooo… maybe you & Jason have been together awhile, and you’re kidnapped by (choose your villain) and Jason is worried and frantic but trying to not show it of course, and negotiating for your safety? Ends up rescuing you of course, in whichever way you prefer, and then they find comfort in each-other 💗

I haven’t had time or energy to work on my WIP lately so this is very lovely and gratifying 😂👌🏻💗

aghh that's the worst! wishing you luck on your wip!! i'm glad you like these <3 requests are open for jason, dick, and MAWS!clark kent btw!

this one is very batfam focused hehehe. ft dramatic ass jason and his surprise kidnapped fiancé lol.

jason todd x gn!reader. tw: violence, kidnapped reader, reader is pushed off a building for a moment but they're okay dw <3, batfam feels, jason being a protective bf, bruce being a GOOD DAD! c:

****

"Actually, if we're being honest, if anyone has the most trauma in this family, it's—"

Batman grunts. "Really, Spoiler, not now."

The comm line crackles as Stephanie sniffs. "Fine. Stay in denial."

"Bats."

Every bat and bird in Gotham goes still.

"Hood?" Barbara asks carefully, already tracking his comm link.

"Oracle," he says, clipped. "I'm gonna get right to it: I need a favor. Can you help? Yes or no."

"Little Wing, where have you been?" Dick asks. "We've all—"

"Shut up, Nightwing," Jason growls. "Either you help me or not. Which is it?"

"We'll help you, Hood," Bruce says, voice washing over Jason like a balm.

Jason takes a deep breath. It's okay. He'll find you. Batman always beats the bad guys.

He fiddles with his jacket zipper. Moments tick by. Dick remains crouched on a rooftop. Damian is similarly poised.

"My..." Jason swallows. "My... fiancé's been taken."

The comm explodes with noise. Jason winces and digs the bud out of his ear for several seconds.

"Fiancé?!"

"You're getting married—"

"When was this—"

"Who are—"

"Enough," Jason growls, finally shoving the bud back into his ear. "I don't have fucking time for this. Yes, I am engaged, and they've been taken. No more questions."

"Tt. You are engaged? Impossible. Batman, clearly someone has hacked the line pretending to be Hood," Damian says, folding his arms.

Jason rolls his eyes. "Believe it or not, demon bird, I found someone crazy enough to marry me."

"Little Wing, I—I'm really proud of—"

"Shut up!" Jason pinches the bridge of his nose. This was a bad idea. You're in trouble, and Jason intends to tear Gotham apart to find you, but involving his family? Has he really stooped so low...

Deep breath. His focus is you. You're the only person that matters.

"Look, I'm telling you because Oracle's tracking me anyway, and B would snoop until he figured out who I'm really looking for, so it's easier to just tell you. But make no mistake: you aren't my family, and you won't see us again after tonight."

Bruce's throat tightens. His cape flutters in the wind.

"Very well," he says after a couple beats. "Last known location?"

"I'm sending you the address now. I've retraced my steps a hundred times though, and I can't—" Jason grits his teeth. He can't tear up or break things, not again. "Fuck. I can't fucking find them, B. I... I don't know if-if maybe I'm too late—"

"You're not," Dick says automatically. "We'll find them, Little Wing. We'll bring them home."

****

Your head is on fire.

It feels like there's a thousand needles pelting your skull. Whatever you were drugged with, it's hard stuff, and it hasn't worn away yet.

You look up; you're gagged and tied to some kind of support beam. As your vision clears, you see that you're in one of the new high rise-in-progress. Only the skeleton of the building has been completed because if Bruce Wayne isn't involved, construction takes forever to complete.

Faintly, you recall Jason mentioning something about a construction company leaving half finished projects across the country and using them as havens for criminal activities.

Yeah. This is not good.

"Where the fuck is he?" The voice echoes across the concrete floor foundation.

"Mike, we sent—"

"I don't give a fuck what you did; obviously, you screwed up! He's not coming!"

You close your eyes, trying not to throw up on your gag. Your head spins when you open your eyes again.

Who's not coming? Your rescuer? Or somebody worse than your kidnappers?

You try to take a deep breath, but your chest tightens instead.

"Fine," Mike barks in the adjacent room. "If that hooded psychopath doesn't show up, we'll just dump this one. That'll send a message. Prepare the explosives."

A door swings open, and you flinch. You cower, shrinking from the figure.

"You better hope he shows," the guy growls, and cocks his gun. "Your boyfriend is the only reason you're still alive. It'll be such fun to watch him fall to his death, don't you think?"

You try not to show your swelling panic. How does he know about you and Jason? And you have to warn him. Explosives. Jason's walking straight into a trap, without backup, because you know he'll be alone. He always works alone.

Mike sneers and waves the gun around.

"Oh, yeah. I know your secrets. In bed with Gotham's biggest crime lord. You must be his favorite. I can see why."

"Mike!" someone shouts. "We got company!"

Mike's eyes blaze cruelly. "Showtime. You're coming with me."

You thrash as hard as you can because if there's one thing Jason taught you, it's to always fight back.

Mike backhands you hard enough to send you sprawling. Your hands are bound, so you can't catch yourself, and you hit your head on the concrete. Blood pools in your gums.

"Try that shit again, bitch," he snarls, and hefts you up.

He drags you up a flight of stairs. Your head throbs, and now your jaw aches. You're too dizzy to try to fight back again.

You end up on the roof, which is a miasma of beams and wooden lattices. Wind cuts through your face, and you close your eyes so they don't water.

"Hood!" Mike crows. "Wonderful of you to join us!"

"Wish I could say the same," Jason says, and your heart leaps at the sound of his voice.

You start to shout through your gag because you have to warn him. It's a trap, he'll kill you both—

Mike wraps his arm around your throat and squeezes. Air stops, and you choke on your cries.

"I'll kill you," Jason snarls, and you know he wants to say more, but he's trying to protect you. "Let them go and maybe I won't break every bone in your body."

"Oh, don't worry. You two will be reunited soon. What is it they say? Love blinds you?"

"Michael Cassidy," a new voice says, deep and deadly. "Let go of the hostage. We can talk this out."

You crack open your eyes. Is that... Batman? And Robin? And... Nightwing? What—

The arm around your throat tightens and you gasp for air as you start to choke for real. Oh God. Batman's going to die because of you.

"You involved Batman?" Mike snarls, now truly irate. You feel yourself being dragged backward, toward the edge. Your stomach rolls in warning.

"Take it easy," Batman says, palms up. "We can work this out."

"You can't play fair?" Mike shouts. "Then neither will I!"

The wood beneath your feet is gone. You're falling.

"No!"

But no sooner than you fall are you caught. Warm arms encircle your waist, and you're jerked to a stop before you can fall more than a few feet.

"I got you, baby, I got you."

Jason is connected to a grapple. At the roof edge is Batman, Nightwing, and Spoiler, all holding the grapple.

You shake your head, screaming against your gag. Bomb. Bomb!

"'S alright, 's alright, sweetheart, I won't drop you."

You scream urgently through your gag, butting your head against his helmet. Jason pulls your gag half free and you choke out the warning.

"B-bomb!"

His grip tightens. "Shit. B, get out of here! Place is rigged to blow!"

The first explosion goes off. Jason meets your gaze. He's terrified, you can tell, but he tries to mask it.

"Let go," he says.

"Wh—"

"He'll catch you," Jason promises. "I trust him."

And then he lets go.

Several more explosions go off. The building begins to crumble. Dust and heat sweep across your face and lodge in your already sore throat. You scream, in the air for a few more seconds.

Then you crash into gray body armor. A cowl, a cape.

"It's alright," Batman gruffly says. "Hold on tight."

Batman swings you both to safety on an adjacent rooftop. You watch him dive back into the flames. It isn't long before Jason swings out of the smoke, then the others. He pulls off his helmet and tosses it to the side, arms open.

You run and bury your face in Jason's neck, clinging to him. He hugs your tightly and rubs your back, saying over and over, I got you.

You sigh and slacken out of exhaustion.

"I've got you, baby," he says, though his voice is wet this time. "You're safe."

Jason checks over your wounds. You see the rage cross his face several times at every bruise and cut on you. He doesn't let go of you even after he's done. He's shaking too, perhaps more than you, as he cuts your binds and completely removes your gag.

The Bats land gracefully behind you. Jason stiffens as they do.

You kiss his jaw. His gaze returns to you.

"You saved me," you say.

"I always will," he says. "Always."

"Are either of you injured?"

Batman suddenly swishes to your side. You blink, startled.

"Nothing serious," you say. Jason grunts unhappily at that. You manage a smile. "Thank you. All of you. Thank you so much."

Jason nods stiffly. "Thanks, Bats."

Nightwing smiles, face soft with affection. "'Course, Hood. And, uh, Hood's fiancé. We're there any time you need us."

"That's right, chum," Batman says. The obvious care in his voice makes you ache.

Jason had called his family. His family with whom he has a plethora of problems. He'd called them for you.

"Jay," you say, voice thick with emotion. He seems to understand instantly.

"I'll always bring you home," he vows, cupping your face. "Whatever it takes."

He pulls you to him like he can't bear to be away from you any longer.

You squeeze his wrists. "I know. It's okay, Jay. I'm okay."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see that the Bats still have not dispersed. Spoiler looks like she's about to melt into a puddle. Nightwing is the same. Even Batman looks a little sentimental.

Robin is the only one scowling, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Hood, are you not going to introduce your fiance-we-just-learned-existed-tonight?" Robin asks, arms folded.

Jason huffs. "Not with those manners, demon brat."

You roll your eyes and extend your hand to Batman. You say your name, smiling.

"It's an honor to meet you, sir," you say.

Batman laughs, and it sounds a little fond. It's also kind of weird to hear Batman laugh. "No sir necessary. It's equally an honor to meet the person my son is marrying."

Jason makes a choked little noise. You beam.

"Well," Batman murmurs. "We'll let you two get home. We'll track down the rest of Michael's thugs—"

"Come to the wedding," Jason blurts.

Batman stills. "Me?" he asks carefully.

"Everybody," Jason says, tugging you into his side. "Uncle Clark, Aunt Diana, Selina, your ten thousand kids, everyone."

He turns to you. "I-I mean, as long as that's okay with you, baby."

"Oh, Jay. It's your family. Of course I want them to come." You lean in to whisper in his ear. "I'm proud of you."

"Little Wing, c'mere!"

Nightwing tackles Jason in a hug, then drags Robin, who protests loudly, in by his cape. Spoiler snaps a picture from the sideline.

"Now that's adorable," she says.

Batman looks at you. He removes his cowl, and you gasp quietly. He smiles, and it makes him look decades younger. You guess he hasn't smiled much since he lost Jason.

"Thank you," he says.

You tilt your head. "For what?"

"For bringing him back to us."

You duck your head. "Oh, Mr. Wayne, that wasn't me—"

"Bruce," he corrects gently. "And it was. You played a bigger part than you know. You saved him. Thank you."

[the-wandering-whumper]

Hello lovelies.

I don’t exactly know how to do this, but here goes.

You haven’t seen me around lately because I’ve been dealing with some pretty serious health issues. Turns out I’ve got this very rare genetic disorder that’s only going to get progressively worse from here on out. It’s called Spinocerebeller Ataxia, if you want to look it up. It attacks my cerebellum causing balance and coordination issues. And, as of right now, there is no cure and no treatment. It’s a terminal diagnosis.

I struggled for a long time trying to decide if I should tell you guys about this or not. Or if I should just slowly fade out of your collective recollections like a happy memory, but then I thought about how nobody in my real life really knows about this wonderful community, and how they wouldn’t know to tell you all once I was gone. And I couldn’t just drop off the face of the planet like that without some kind of explanation. And… well, I just really miss you guys, too

I have no idea how long I’m going to have. This disease is so rare and it affects everyone so differently, but I think doing some gifs and getting back into reblogging whump might help. So I’m going to try and finish up all the requests I have over at my gifs blog and get this blog active again.

I hope it was the right decision to tell you guys. In fact, I may share some of my journey on here if you’d rather unfollow me so you don’t have to read about it. This is heavy and I don’t expect anyone to stick around for it. But I also could have another 5-10 years, depending on how my disease progresses, and I’m going to make the most of it. It’s just going to be very hard fought. I’m disabled now and I need all the love and support I can get as I traverse this new normal. I can still work and I’m still mobile for now, but that’s changing fast. I start physical and speech therapy soon, and hopefully that will help with some of my symptoms.

I love you all so much and I’m happy to answer any of your questions over DM but, please forgive me if I don’t respond to many asks publicly.

Love you always,

Marie

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to people who relapse quick.

Shoutout to people who try to recover, but it doesn’t ever last long.

Shoutout to the people who want to get better, but they’re struggling to start.

I see so many people comforting those far into recovery who’ve relapsed, saying that it is a normal part of recovery and they will be okay. Which is completely true! But I rarely see that same energy for people who haven’t been clean for long or who relapse often.

It’s hard to get your footing in recovery. Wanting to get better and taking steps to get better are two very different things; one much harder than the other.

Even a quickly failed attempt at recovery is something worth celebrating.

Trying to recover, knowing you probably won’t stay clean for long, and still deciding to try again is something impressive.

The only consistent trait in recovery from anything is relapsing at least once. If you don’t relapse, then you haven’t done the work to heal the cause of your destructive behavior. Relapse is integral to healing.

While it is ideal that these relapses are few and far between, that is something that is just unattainable for some.

I often see comments on tiktok that talk about how annoying it is when someone says “one second clean” or something along those lines, but I couldn’t disagree more. I am such a strong believer that every single second you aren’t acting on self destructive impulses is an accomplishment.

Especially if you’re actively resisting that behavior.

Relapse is normal in recovery. That includes relapses that happen after months of being clean, and relapses that happen within hours of being clean. While you should always strive to go longer and longer without relapsing, any amount of time spent not relapsing is something to be proud of.

Intent matters. Wanting to get better matters, even if you aren’t making much progress, is something to celebrate. Strive to be better, but don’t forget the little victories along the way.

[blughxreader]

Ok but I just wanna know how Bruce would feel about knowing that your two new brothers broke some boundaries in the a/b/o fic, like he’s over here trying to make you comfortable in your new family while Dick and Jason are are activating their step sis kink

Haven’t touched much on Brucie in my abo fics, but he’s complacent!

Before “reconnection session,” where Dick and Jason forcibly pack bonded w Batsis, he was growing increasingly worried.

The man’s so kind to the people he saves, but he CANNOT, for the life of him, figure out how to emotionally navigate around you.

He knows he’s the villain in your eyes, so his attempts at kindling a bond with you are immediately hindered. He's tried being gentle, he's tried giving your life comfortable structure and clear expectations, but there's still been no progress.

Bruce is very slow on forcing emotionally binding things on you.

So upon finding out what Dick and Jason did over the weekend, he was... apprehensive.

What made his acceptance easier was because it was DICK who did it. Dick, the universally-accepted heart of the Bats. If anyone knew how to ease you into the family, it was him.

Bruce wasn't happy, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved. (Especially when the pull of the pack bond started making you welcome their intimacy.)

Furthermore, when your body began resisting heat suppressants, Bruce knew he had to find a heat mate for you quickly.

As BEGRUDGINGLY as he accepted this new reality, he admits that having his sons, who he knows inside and out, be your heat mate is the best solution.

Jason has been working hard to curb his Pit Rage and bloodlust (and although he operates differently than Bruce, there aren’t any more duffle bags of heads). But he still has the core values and kindness he did as Robin.

Dick is a non-starter, honestly. Batman says that Nightwing is the cleaner, better version of Batman.

YET Dick also has a nasty habit of bottling up his emotions and being manipulative. Jason, who empathy and emotional perception for days (& who doesnt take shit from anyone), is a good counter.

Overall they’re a good combo that balance each other out. Bruce isn’t happy with the brother to heat-mate to potential husband pipeline, but its not the very worst thing that could happen.

As long as they put your needs before their own, he approves.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Waiting | Dream Reaction #13

Reaction: when their gf wants to save sex for marriage

Genre: Um mostly fluff

Warnings: slightly suggestive, making out in Jeno's, and mentions of sex (but nothing graphic at all)

Word Count: ~2.9k

Author's Note: I feel like it's been so long since I wrote a Dream reaction. The following scenario was a request sent by someone. To be honest, I was a bit hesitant about doing it because I know this concept isn't that popular today. However, it is a personal value I hold and I'm not trying to impose it on those who have different opinions. But it is something I've always secretly wanted to write about. So here you go, I hope you like it ^ ^

~ ~ ~

mark

After being under the weather for weeks now, Mark thought it was time to get you checked up. That was how you found yourself sitting in a pristine white room on a Monday morning. You scanned the room anxiously, nervously drumming your fingers against the chair’s armrest. However, the nerves you were feeling calmed down a little when Mark placed his hand on top of yours.

Finally the door creaked open, and the doctor exchanged polite greetings with the two of you. Taking a seat at her computer, the doctor ran through the customary procedure of inquiring about your symptoms and any recent changes in lifestyle.

“Have you two been sexually active recently?” the doctor asked, causing a slight shift in the atmosphere. 

Heat instantly rose to your cheeks as you turned to your boyfriend with a surprised glance. 

“Oh—no, we haven’t even…” Your voice trailed off, almost as if you were too flustered to finish your sentence.

The doctor nodded understandingly and moved on to the next question. Once the check-up was finished, she just advised you to get some more rest and take some time off work to recover.

Back in the car, you and Mark burst into awkward laughter, finding humor in the unexpected nature of that encounter.

“I was so embarrassed,” you cried, covering your face, “I thought I was going to die back there.”

Mark laughed along, “Yeah me too. I don’t know why I was so surprised when she asked us that.”

A brief silence hung in the air as Mark steadied his hand on the wheel, and you gazed out of the car window. Although you believed you handled the situation reasonably, some more serious thoughts lingered in your mind. Even though it’s only been a few months since you two started dating, the doctor’s question made you realize that you hadn’t discussed the subject before.

“Speaking of though,” you said, broaching the topic cautiously. “I actually want to save sex for marriage.”

You were already bracing yourself for a negative reaction when Mark didn’t respond right away. But then he shrugged nonchalantly and said, “Okay.”

“Really?” You stared at him wide-eyed. “You’re okay with it?”

Mark nodded thoughtfully, “I mean, I can’t say it’s going to be easy. But if waiting is important to you, then it’s important to me too.”

A wave of relief washed over you, comforted now that this conversation went a lot smoother than you had anticipated. 

“Thank you, I really appreciate that,” you said, a smile lighting up your face.

Mark reached over to squeeze your hand. “No problem, babe.”

In his mind, it really wasn’t a big deal. He definitely planned on marrying you someday, so he saw it as something to look forward to in your future together.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

renjun 

He was the only one to actually bring up the subject first. Although it wasn’t something he had greatly dwelled on beforehand. After being together for a few months, your relationship had proven to be relatively stable. However when it came to physical intimacy, the two of you never progressed beyond making out. While Renjun wasn’t particularly bothered by it, a sense of curiosity lingered in his thoughts.

One evening as you both walked back to your place after a date, he decided to bring it up. “(Y/n), can I ask you something?” he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Curious as to what this was about, you nodded. “Sure. What is it?”

“I just…I was wondering when we’re going to have sex?” He scratched his head, as the words awkwardly tumbled from his lips. You observed his cheeks turn a light shade of pink, and you could also feel your own face warming up coincidentally.

You knew this conversation was inevitable, and you’ve spent a decent amount of time preparing what you would say if it came up. Despite the mental preparation, you were a little wary of what Renjun’s response might be.

“I’m glad you brought that up,” you said, attempting to mask the nervousness in your tone. “The thing is, I want to wait until marriage for sex. I hope that’s okay with you.”

To your surprise, his response came quickly as he nodded in understanding. “That’s no problem for me. I'm happy to wait for you,” he assured.

“I know people might think we’re crazy,” you continued with a sense of unease in your voice.

Before you could finish your thought, Renjun stopped walking to cup your face with his hands. “I don’t care what people think. Our connection and the boundaries we set are more important than anyone else’s opinions,” he said assertively. “I respect your decision, and I’m here with you no matter what.”

As his words sank in, a grateful smile formed on your lips. Sighing, you leaned in to place a sweet peck on his lips. 

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Renjun chuckled and affectionately patted your head. “Cutie.”

His hands intertwined once more, and the two of you resumed walking back to your apartment. The both of you felt a lot better now that the topic had been addressed.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jeno

The evening started out normal, really. You were having a movie date in his apartment, which was a regular occurrence for homebodies like yourselves. Yet, an almost suffocating tension lingered in the air, subtly bringing the two of you closer.

Before you could blink, blankets were tossed aside and you found yourself lying on your back as Jeno’s lips devoured yours in a series of passionate kisses. His hands found their way to your waist, and yours wrapped around his neck, drawing him nearer. The room was filled with a soft hum of your chemistry, creating a moment that seemed to make time freeze.

Your conscience started to come back as you felt Jeno’s hands begin to roam your body. Although a part of you didn’t want to stop, you placed a hand on your boyfriend’s chest and gently pulled away. Jeno glanced at you with a puzzled expression. 

Sighing, you sat up. “I’m sorry…it’s just…there’s something I think we should talk about.”

You hated seeing Jeno’s face flicker with confusion. But he nodded for you to continue.

“If…if it’s okay with you, I want to wait until we’re married to have sex,” you admitted, your gaze unwavering. 

Jeno’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise, and it took a bit to process your words before responding. “Oh, okay,” he said in an understanding tone.

You looked at him, searching for any sign of disappointment or frustration. “You’re not upset about it?”

Jeno shook his head, as if it were obvious. “There’s no rush, baby. And I would never want to pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with.”

“Thank you for understanding,” you expressed, eyes softening with gratitude. You had expected a different reaction from him, fearing that he might feel restricted. But his kind words put you at ease.

Jeno returned your smile, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “But we can still make out, right?” 

The mischievous sparkle in his eyes made you laugh. “Of course we can,” you chuckled, pulling him down with you.

That was all Jeno needed to hear before his lips were on yours again. The chemistry from before was quickly reignited, and the two of you savored the intimacy of the moment.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

haechan

The two of you were just cuddling in his bedroom, after he had convinced you to take a break from studying. Nestled comfortably in his arms, he traced lazy circles on your back, creating a soothing rhythm to accompany the moment. You snuggled against him happily, enjoying this peaceful moment with your boyfriend.

“(Y/n),” he spoke suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.

You glanced up in response. “Hm?”

He stared at you momentarily, tenderly brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. You were curious as to what he had to say, you found it hard to read his expression.

“Have you ever thought about…you know, when you want to have sex?” he asked, deciding it was best to just be straightforward. 

Your cheeks flushed slightly, caught off guard by his question. “Um…well I think I want to wait until marriage,” you admitted.

Biting your lip, you searched Haechan’s expression. The corner of his lips curled into a teasing smile. “In that case, will you, (L/n) (Y/n), marry me?” he asked dramatically.

“Lee Haechan, don’t joke about that,” you scolded, smacking him on the shoulder. The boy laughed, and pulled you closer to him. 

“Okay, okay I’m sorry,” he apologized, giving you a quick kiss on your forehead. “We’ll take things at your pace, baby. You don’t need to worry.”

You murmured a thank you, relaxing into his arms once more. As playful as Haechan was, you were grateful for his understanding. There really wasn’t much to worry about when you were with him.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jaemin

The gentle glow of the candles sitting on the coffee table created a warm and inviting atmosphere in Jaemin’s living room. You sat snugly on the couch with his cats, waiting for your boyfriend to come back from the kitchen. Although you appeared calm on the outside, as you ran your fingers through Luna’s soft white fur, your mind buzzed with anxious thoughts. You wanted to have a serious conversation with him tonight, but you were a bit apprehensive about it.

Your heart began to race as Jaemin reentered the room, carrying two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. It only took a single glance for him to detect your unease. Placing the cups on the coffee table, he took your hand in his and offered a comforting smile.

“Is there something on your mind, love?” he asked with such tenderness that it almost made you feel guilty.

Exhaling briefly, you tried to return his smile. “Yeah, there’s actually something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

Jaemin’s eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and concern. “I’m listening,” he replied, reaching over to gently scratch under Luna’s chin.

You took another deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “It’s just that we’ve been together for quite some time now, and I know you’ve probably thought about this. But I want to share with you that I’d like for us to save sex for marriage.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Jaemin absorbed your words. Afraid of a negative reaction, you started to back yourself up.

“It’s just that I’ve never done it before, and waiting until I’m married has always been important to me,” you continued, going on a slight tangent. “It has nothing to do with you or an attempt to restrict you.”

The warm smile Jaemin gave you felt like a game changer. He lightly squeezed your hand, his eyes reflecting nothing but understanding. “You don’t have to worry, Princess. I understand completely, and I agree it’s best to wait too.”

Instantly relief began to wash over you. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded, his smile unwavering. “I want our first time to be something we both cherish. And when we’re both ready to take that step, I promise it will be a special moment for both of us.”

His eyes gleamed with a sincerity that made you want to burst into tears. Suddenly, you questioned why you were so nervous in the first place. Every action of Jaemin’s was out of love and kindness from the depths of his heart.

“You’re so sweet,” you murmured, cupping his face with your hands. “I wish all men could be as understanding and caring as you.”

Jaemin’s gaze softened more, and he leaned in to leave a lingering kiss on your lips. “You give me too much credit, princess. As your boyfriend, it’s my job to ensure you always feel respected and loved.”

“Stop it, you’re going to make me cry,” you exclaimed, using your hand to fan your eyes.

He chuckled in response and pulled you closer to cuddle. As you remained in his embrace with his cats nestled around you, you realized how lucky you were to have Jaemin by your side. 

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

chenle

You had been avoiding the subject for as long as possible, mostly because it was a little awkward for you. This was your first serious relationship, and you were sure Chenle’s thought about it before. But he was waiting for you to say something first.

Then came an evening where the two of you were watching a movie at his place. You didn’t exactly plan on talking to him about it that day. It kind of just slipped out.

Neither of you had a specific preference for what to watch, so Chenle randomly selected something on Netflix. However, halfway into the film, a provocative scene began to unfold. A knot tightened in your stomach, and within five seconds, you averted your gaze. Chenle chuckled nervously beside you, wisely opting to change the movie.

Even though something new was being played on the screen, you found yourself making occasional sideway glances toward Chenle. The realization struck that you had been putting off this topic for so long, and the nagging feeling inside you knew it would keep bothering you if you didn’t address it now.

Before your nerves could get the better of you, a heavy exhale escaped you. “Chenle, there’s something I want to talk about.”

His eyebrows raised slightly in concern, sensing the apprehensiveness in your voice. “What’s up?” he asked.

The movie’s ambiance served as a backdrop to your hesitancy. But determined not to chicken out, you closed your eyes and blurted out, “I want to wait until marriage for sex!”

You opened your eyes to see Chenle’s face swiftly transition from a surprised expression to a more composed one. For some reason he thought you were going to break up with him or something. So when he processed your words, in his head he was like “oh, that was it?”

“Okay, that’s cool,” he said, figuring that was all and leaned back on the couch.

His nonchalant response left you looking at him in disbelief. “You’re not upset at all?”

“No, why would I be?” he chuckled, playfully nudging you. “Sex isn’t everything. If waiting until marriage is important to you, then I’m on board with that.”

The way his eyes reflected genuine sincerity, gave you more reassurance. “Gosh, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that,” you exhaled.

He grinned, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. He couldn’t resist teasing you a little.

“Well what can I say? You’re dating a great man.”

You rolled your eyes, earning a laugh from him as he pulled you closer. Secretly, you had to agree that Zhong Chenle was indeed a great man.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

jisung

It really wasn’t a big deal to him. But he did think about it from time to time. The both of you were somewhat new to being in a relationship. However, after being together for a few months, Jisung thought the two of you should’ve had sex by now. 

He was almost afraid to ask, because the two of you had never directly discussed sex before. But the desire to know your thoughts was becoming overwhelming, and Jisung knew that he’d explode if he didn’t bring up the subject.

As you lounged together in your living room, Jisung absentmindedly fiddled with the drawstrings of his hoodie. Occasionally he stole glances at you, who was scrolling through social media posts on your phone. He almost choked when you said something.

“Is there something on your mind, Jisungie?” you asked, without even looking up from your phone. It was as if you could sense he had something to say, solely by his body language. You had to hold back from smiling in amusement as his eyes widened in surprise.

The boy beside you laughed nervously as he sat up a bit straighter. “I—um want to talk about us. You know in terms of…”

“Sex?” you finished his sentence, throwing him off even more. 

Jisung looked at you with a perplexed expression. “Are you a magician? How did you know that was what I wanted to talk about?”

“I don’t know, lucky guess?” you chuckled, casting your phone aside. “It’s also something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about too.”

“Really?!”

You nodded, flattening your hands across the blanket on your lap. “I know we’ve never discussed it before, but I think it’s best to be transparent with you. Is that okay?”

 “Of course,” Jisung answered right away. “I want you to be honest with me, Jagi.”

Lowering your gaze, you took a deep breath before confessing, “Well, um—I want to wait until marriage for, you know, sex.”

It took a moment for you to gather the courage to look at Jisung again. When you did, you were met with an almost relieved expression.

“You know what? I think that’s a great idea,” Jisung said, assuringly. “We can just take our time, with no rush.”

You smiled in response, “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”

Jisung’s shoulders visibly relaxed and he sank back into the couch. “Ugh, I feel so much better now that we’ve talked about it,” he said, covering his eyes.

Shaking your head with a laugh, you observed the boy in amusement.

“You’re such a dork,” you murmured, snuggling against his hoodie. Jisung smiled and snaked his arm around to hug you.

Jisung was genuinely relieved that you were both honest about your feelings of intimacy. In fact, he felt like having this conversation brought you even closer. Although you were both young, he felt secure knowing your relationship was built on a sense of connection and trust.

‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿︵‿୨✧୧‿︵‿

[taurusreads]

what awaits you at the end of this cycle?

masterlist || paid services || ko-fi

a little encouragement to keep pushing through 🫶🏽

how to pick a pile? close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and clear your mind. feel which pile you're drawn to, and find the reading below the cut!

PILE ONE

i’m getting a very vibrant orange color from this pile. some of you may actually like oranges, like the fruit, or could be someone who takes care of their body. some of you could also be preparing for something. i’m seeing planning and getting things in order, virgo energy could be significant here. jupiter energy could also be significant. you could also be the type of person to keep things to yourself. you might be in a bit of solitude right now, keeping the things that are important to you to yourself. you could also be the type of person to plan out your life as well. i think you could have a clear picture of what you want for yourself, and you’re actively working to gain that lifestyle.

i feel like you guys are starting to learn a lot about yourselves at the moment. my first paragraph is always dedicated to messages i receive while shuffling so i know the energy that i’m reading for, and yours was a bit longer than the other two piles, as yours mainly touched up on different aspects of your personality that might have gone unnoticed by you previously. the first house card came out for you, which is all about your personality and the way that other people perceive you. i think that at the end of your cycle people could be talking about how different you look/seem, or you could be noticing those changes in yourself as well. i’m also picking up again on the fact that you take good care of your health, and you might be making that a priority right now. if you feel the urge to take care of yourself and better your mind body and soul, don’t ignore it! i see you’re doing a good job at that and it’ll pay off for you later on.

take time to ground your energy, maybe go on a walk or when you’re in the shower, visualize your fears and worries being rinsed down the drain before you start your day. that will help ease some of the anxieties you have throughout the day. i feel like some of you have been wanting to make new friends or meet people that resonate with you, and i’m hearing that at the end of this cycle you’ll definitely have that! if you haven’t already, you’ll start seeing the changes in your reality soon! i feel like some of you may have given up hope and these things coming for you since you worked through the hard stuff, but don’t worry, they’re on their way! you just have to be patient.

i feel like you all are exactly where you need to be right now. your guides are watching over you, keeping you on the right path, so all you need to do is sit back and follow their lead. don’t think too hard about the next few months, just go with the flow and when your mind tells you to do something, don’t stress over it and just start moving! you’ll see so much more progress the sooner you let go of the idea that you don’t truly deserve these things.

i feel like you’re experiencing a cycle that is coming to a close for you. there was a situation that wasn’t serving your highest good, and so the universe went and did away with it to help with your growth. i feel like this was someone who you used to talk to a lot, they could have understood you better than most people you felt. i do feel like this person wasn’t navigating from a place of love though. where they did love you and wanted the best for you, they were not in a headspace where they could provide that love. i do see that this person could be a bit of a workaholic, and could have placed their needs above yours constantly, so you did what needed to be done for yourself and you walked away.

if this situation resonated with you i just want you to know that i am so so so proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing right by your needs. although, for some others, it’s time to stop waiting for that person to come back. and if you’re worried about whether they will come back or not, that is up to them and whether they decide to work through their shadows or not. this is giving the energy or a healing connection, one of growth and understanding, but unless both parties put in the work, it will be very hard for you two to work in tandem with each other.

give this person the time they need to heal, as well as give yourself the time you need to heal (that’s the most important), and with that your situation with them could improve.

also, i’m seeing that for a lot of you, another thing coming at the end of this cycle is regarding your career, but they would not give me too much information on it. i think there might be something very exciting coming for you, and your guides want you to be excited!

PILE TWO

i’m getting like a foresty green here. kind of the dark green color that comes on leaves, but with the bright and happy energy of light green. very balanced energy here. i’m getting cottage core vibes, so you may be someone who like to dress in that style or has that aesthetic around them, or that theme might be significant right now. i keep singing water by tyla as well. that song could be significant for some of you (specifically the chorus). earth placements could be significant for this pile.

ah my little viridians (that’s what i shall call you because of the color i saw sorry). you guys could be out of the box thinkers, the type to analyze the scene in front of you and come up with a creative solution to the problem. you could have heavy virgo and libra placements, or heavy air placements in general. i’m seeing that some of you guys may participate in social activities like smoking the green if ya know what i mean. neon colors such as pink, purple, and green could be significant.

i’m hearing try not to analyze too much about the things going on around you. you could be doing a lot of research about astrology, tarot, spirituality, etc. and making the connection, but try not to give yourself a headache over thinking things lol. i’m getting the energy of another person here’s that’s wanting to come in, and so i think that this person could be waiting on the other side of this cycle. if any of you have been manifesting a relationship with someone, i see this person coming in at the end of your cycle. i think this person is full of love, they give very soft and kind energy. they could be very nurturing, and provide a lot of advice and guidance to help you on your spiritual journey.

i’m seeing that at the end of your cycle, you’ll be in a very calm state of mind. i think that you tend to have a lot of questions, especially about the world and how it came to be, they may even cause you anxiety a little bit. i’m seeing here that at the end of this cycle you’ll have come to enough of an understanding to the point where you can relax and just enjoy the life that you’ve been given. some of you could be humanitarians, or care deeply about the condition of the earth and how it’s being treated. you’re definitely big on connecting with nature, and you just give very open and loving energy. it’s low key giving hippie and i love it.

i think a sign that this cycle is coming to a close for you is when you want to start becoming active again. i’m hearing that you might be into dancing or will want to be very physically active randomly. some of you could also come from a culture where dancing is a form of expression in faith, such as native american descent.

if some of you have been trying to decide on what to do with your life, i’m hearing that the world is your oyster. you can do whatever you want, and you don’t have to be tied down to one thing. i feel like i’m giving big sister vibes rn lol. some of you may feel like you have to fit a mold that was made for you from your family. there might be a work place or job that your parents expected you to get, or maybe a family business that they want you to take over. if you feel deep in your heart that you don’t want to do that, then you have the right to say no. you don’t have to abide by what they want you to be just because they’re your parents, you’re human too. and i know it’s definitely hard standing your ground and doing what’s best for yourself, but handling the situation with love and grace will be more helpful than you thought.

if you’re the type that tends to get a bit aggressive when you start to feel emotion, make sure to approach any situations with a calm mind, already know what you want to say and how you want to say it. you have to take accountability for when you may step out of line, just as others should do for you. i’m also singing water by tyla AGAIN. i always use the first paragraph as an energy check, so i don’t actually look at any of the cards falling out while i shuffle. i started singing the song then and now i’m singing it again, it doesn’t get stuck in my head otherwise.

don’t ignore the things that’s your heart and soul are telling you. i think you could have finished this cycle a while ago, had you let go of control and the fear of change. don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from reaching out for the things you want to do, because you’re losing endless possibilities because of it. don’t be afraid to face your shadows, they are a part of you after all. they’re not here to hurt you, they’re here to help heal you. the person coming in at the end of this cycle is definitely a soulmate i’m seeing, they’re giving me a guide of sorts for you. this person is going to help direct you in the right direction, and he’ll you understand any questions you might have as they arise for you. they’re here to help you keep your head on straight as i feel like when you overthink you tend to spiral.

all in all, i’m seeing that there’s not one set thing coming in for you. i feel like something you might have asked for was a betterment in your mental state, or just a betterment in your current situation in general, so they gave you that. you have the capacity to do absolutely whatever you want after this. you want to be an astronaut? go for it. president? absolutely. cafe owner? cute as fuck bro. you’re literally like a freelancer man, you can do any and everything, and that should make you proud.

PILE THREE

this pile is my yellow pile. not quite like the sun, it has a bit more of an white hue to it, but still so pretty. almost like the yellow you get for newborn babies. i’m immediately feeling that you guys are happy with life and open to receiving all blessings coming your way. you could have just come out of a tough cycle, and are ready to have the new and improved version of your life start now. some of you might be drawn to pile 2 as well, if you are, check it out! there might be a few messages for you there. prominent air placements could be significant, as well as venus energy (taurus and libra).

for a lot of you i’m seeing a life partner coming in. this is something that was fated from the moment you were born, you just needed to wait and do the proper work for it to come in on time. i think that at the end of this cycle this is the biggest reward that you are reaping, as this also seems like something you’ve been wanting for a while.

when i was shuffling the cards, i had already gotten the energy that you’d finished your cycle. the energy i was getting was more of openness and acceptance from a place of love and understanding. something started happening with my right eye while i was messing around with your pile, so if you feel like there’s something in your eye when nothings wrong with it, or your eye starts to twitch at random moments, that may be indication that this person is coming very soon. i think right now you’re in a time where you’ve done the reflecting, you’ve done the introspection, and now it’s time for the universe to give back to you. it’s important that you follow your heart and gut feelings right now, as following those urges will lead you right where you need to be. don’t forget to include logic though, balancing your spiritual insight and logic may be something to work through for you right now. i’m seeing heavy self care days for some of you as well. a lot of you may have stepped into your it girl era, and are being diligent in taking care of yourself and your environment. venus energy is so heavy for this group right now.

you may actually be operating from your venus sign right now, pile three. sometimes the time of our lives that we are in can change the energy that we exude, and so you might not come off as your sun/rising sign (you rising sign is actually one of your chart rulers, so that’s most times how people perceive you). this makes sense with the romantic partner on the move for you.

i feel like if some of you have been worried about whether your manifestations are actually going to come in, i’m here to tell you that they are. the universe is never going to give you the short end of the stick, at least not without it preparing you for something better. when they told you that you were done with the hard parts, they meant it. carry yourself with grace and act like you’re the baddie that you are because you put in WORK for this bro. you did that shit and it wasn’t easy, so don’t brush it off like it was that easy!! i’m seeing that you could be in your empress energy right now, actually. you’re very stable mentally, emotionally, and physically, which is why your person is preparing to come into your life now. spirit is telling you to be optimistic right now, get excited, because the things that you asked for are here! they’re not even coming. they’re not on their way, they’re HERE!!!

i started singing black and yellow by wiz khalifah when i started shuffling the tarot cards so that song could be significant for some of you lol. some of you could be in the longing stage, where you want your person and you can feel them coming in, but the urge to have them is making you impatient. i’m hearing to distract yourself during these times. maybe go out with friends, hang out with family, or participate in a hobby that you enjoy as a way to take your mind off of it until your manifestations get here. you’re guides are telling me that they know it’s hard, but you’ve only got a little more to go.

you could also be seeing repeating 5’s, which signify change and adjustments. i’m feeling like you’re starting to see the things around you and within you change. you might have had a change in the things that you deem important, and those changes are bringing you new opportunities, especially in your work place. i’m seeing blessing coming through as a byproduct of your introspection, as well as an increase in opportunities surrounding your work life. if you guys have been working towards a specific goal or a specific career, i’m hearing that significant changes are coming in regarding that, and you should be on the look out for contact from a higher up sometime soon! i’m seeing that all of these changes are going to catapult you into your dream reality! all the things you’ve been imagining and wishing for yourself are finally here, so stop worrying and let them come in as they should <3

[torchship-rpg]

Dev Diary 15 - Mechanics Reworks

Hello cosmonauts! It’s been a minute.

So we finally finished Chariots of Steel and were all eager to turn development time over to Torchship when I got covid. I was too sick to do anything for a week, and then have spent the time since exhausted, coughing, and headache-y. I’m still coughing. What a cool sickness to have!

Because of that, I really haven’t made the progress I was hoping to, but I do have some things to talk about from the current draft of the game. So here goes…

Unity Rewrite

One of the problems revealed by last year’s Metatopia playtest was that players didn’t really have a good idea of how important Unity was supposed to be, because it was a simple uncapped resource. Like any such resource, either they ignored it, or it activated the player’s hoarding instincts and they stockpiled it and dedicated themselves to whatever roleplay triggers would get more without ever spending it. 

Uh, oops, should have seen that coming.

So one of the biggest changes in the current drafts is that Unity has gone from being a pool of resources to being a bar you try to keep topped up, like so:

So long as you stay in the green ‘United’ range of 10-12, you have a free 1d6 reroll on all your dice pools. While not a hugely powerful buff, it’s a passive benefit that helps no matter what you’re doing, so you always want it if you can. There’s no benefit or drawback to being at Functional, but Tense and Fracturing hit you with escalating penalties.

This tells players when they need to be looking to form or act on relationships for the Unity benefits. Your Unity falling (through complications on rolls, stress in combat, or relationship complications) acts as an invitation to groups to get more involved, to declare relationships with each other and the various sides of a debate, and possibly act irrationally on them. 

This incentive structure also heightens the political metaphor of the relationship system and the way it will affect your interaction with groups. When things are fraying in your in-group, the fastest way to rebuild cohesion is to find an out-group, to stop being impartial and take sides. As circumstances change, you might find yourself dealing with the sunk-cost fallacy of having backed a horse you no longer believe in, faced with the reality of risking your group’s Unity to make the right choice, and the potential danger of swinging too far the other way as you try to rebuild cohesion.

Damage Rework - Conditions

Another massive change in the Alpha is a totally reworked system for damage, creating a single universal framework for everything from personal injury to wear and tear on tools to massive impact on spacecraft.

When something is damaged, that damage gets converted by the GM into Conditions. A Condition consists of a narrative description and a severity between 1-6; the severity determines the degree of penalty taken when the narrative of the condition becomes relevant (with 6 Damage indicating something has been destroyed outright and can’t be used). Damage is converted to Severity 1-1, so if you take more than 6 damage, multiple Conditions will arise.

This system can be used for anything, and focuses on creating problems that you have to work around and solve (you know the thing this kind of sci-fi is all about). If you get shot in the arm, having to figure out how to do things one-handed to avoid the penalty becomes an interesting problem you have to navigate around. If you drop your scanner down an elevator shaft by accident, you have to navigate your adventure with 1 Disadvantage on your sensor checks because of a cracked lens. And when 24 points of Thermal damage hits your spaceship from a laser hit, those become Conditions on your various modules and subsystems, realistically knocking out parts of your spacecraft so your engineer player gets to fix them and your medic gets to attend to crew.

This system also allows the GM to metre out the nature of damage to match the needs of the narrative much more easily. This allows weapons to be realistically dangerous without simply killing player characters all the time, because damage can be freely split between conditions; six damage from a handheld railgun doesn’t have to one-shot you, it can be interestingly split into a number of conditions describing the path of the shot. 

It also heavily simplifies a number of the game’s Hazards; you can make an ‘oxygen deprivation’ condition or a ‘barotrauma’ condition or a ‘heat stroke’ condition just as easily as anything else, and Resistances can be applied to that damage the same way. It elegantly compresses a number of systems from earlier drafts into a single, solutions-first mechanic.

Modes of Play & Vignettes

One big change in the new Draft is how the game uses alternating modes of play. We’ve ended up settling on four, two ‘main’ modes and two modes which are like exaggerated versions. You constantly build up Strain through Activity and Alert, every time you roll dice or get hurt, and you remove that Strain by going into Reflection and spending Supply.

The way we’ve decided to do this so that Reflection & Resupply can be tracked and even applied retroactively is Vignettes. Vignettes are scenes you play during Reflection to give a break from the action, creating the character moments that make us invested in the weird sci-fi shit by giving us a glimpse into the world. However, because each one is a discrete mechanical package with simple outcomes, you can also go ‘hey wait, I think that scene we just played was a Vignette!’ and it’ll still work.

The entire party plays the same Vignettes together and shares the benefits, with you playing more Vignettes the longer your characters are waiting (non-linearly; an hour gets you 1 Vignette, but a day only gets you 3). This timescale compression helps to get across the vast scale of space; there will be times when combat begins, both sides launch missiles at each other, and then you realise that it’ll be an hour before impact and you’re able to play a tense Vignette while you wait!

There are currently 9 Vignettes:

Three are Meetings: Conferences where you adjust your Investigation Checklists, Briefings where you make plans for dice bonuses, and Debates where you decide what to do in a controversial situation.

Three are Downtime: Relaxing to generate Unity and remove Strain, Lower Decks to introduce new crew NPCs you can call on for help, and Tourism to hang out with the locals, get language XP, and fill society checklists in a fun montage.

Three are Labour: Training to get XP, Treatment to recover Harm, and Project Work to create new Tools.

Resupply, which happens almost exclusively between episodes, will unlock three new Vignettes dedicated to your resources, spacecraft, and what’s happening back home.

That’s all for now. Hopefully we’ll have more detail for you next diary, which hopefully won’t take nearly as long. Provided there are no more tanks or awful diseases in my near future…

[nightimedreamersworld]

Wip Wednesday

Thank you for tagging me dears @artsyunderstudy and @cutestkilla ❤️ your snippets are lovely as usual.

Also thank yous to everyone else who's tagged me these past weeks! I'm sorry I haven't been super active lately. I've been spending lots of time with family, so I'm progressing slowly on my WIPs

But!! Rest assured I'm still working on them. Here's a snippet from the chapter 3 of The Naked Truth:

Simon’s mouth is hotter than his skin, somehow. It makes me wonder about the rest of his body. His neck is also warm, and tender. I don’t know how my fangs haven’t dropped yet. I can feel them itching to sink into him.  I don’t bite him, though. I won’t. I don’t really want to. I’d never hurt him.  But I do press my fingers against his neck, where his pulse is strongest. Then my hand wanders over the back of his head, where his hair is buzzed short and prickly. Then up—I grab a fistful of his curls. Simon gasps and climbs further on top of me.  I can feel him against me. All of him, from head to toe.  All of him.  I manage to pull my head back enough to look down, just in time to see Simon’s pants turning to mist.

(Little update on the posting schedule: I wanted to have chapter 2 out this week, but I'm a little sick rn so it might not happen.)

Tagging some friends: hope you have a great Wednesday! @rimeswithpurple @bookish-bogwitch @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @captain-aralias @hushed-chorus @larkral @letraspal @stitchyqueer @mooncello @supercutedinosaurs @blackberrysummerblog @valeffelees @forabeatofadrum @aristocratic-otter @alexalexinii @run-for-chamo-miles @prettygoododds @emeryhall @whatevertheweather @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @j-nipper-95 @thewholelemon and anyone who'd like to join! ❤️

[aphroditeslover11]

Somebody Else's Wedding

A little something that I wrote for @forgottenpeakywriter based on some prompts she sent me, I hope this makes you happy lovely. x

As for the smut I was trying to write, its coming slowly, sorry to the requester, but I am shit!!!

You had first encountered Robert in a meeting held by a mutual friend, focused on supporting local workers through the economic depression that the whole world was facing at the minute. Someone had introduced you and before you knew it you and you had immediately hit it off. You met up for subsequent meetings and then he started to take you out for dinner. It was fair that after the third of these occasions you had totally and irretrievably fallen for him. He led you along for a while, like a dog chasing a scent, until one day he kissed you as he walked you to the door of the house you were staying in. You were pretty sure that this was his way of cementing the deal, thought apparently not, or you wouldn’t be stood here. Your happy fantasy world had been broken apart weeks later when your parents, worried about the family reputation, had threatened to cut you off if you didn’t end all of your ties to left wing politics. This included Robert.

Today was your wedding day, and to your disappointment it wasn’t Robert who was stood at your side. Instead you were going to be married to a chemistry graduate who had just got a stable job working for Shell. He was a good match and a good friend, but he wasn’t Oppie. You felt like you were at somebody else’s wedding, not your own. Things were even worse in the fact that your fiancé had insisted that Oppie be invited along to the proceedings, having been his lecturer at Berkeley for a while. He had been sat at the back of the room, but you could still sense his presence in the air. As the service began it clearly became all too much for him, the small scuffle in the back pews alerting you to him leaving to avoid the painful situation, not that you could go anywhere.

The vows were progressing and you were getting towards the point of having to say your “I dos”, you had an impending sense of doom but there was hardly anything that you could do about it now, stood up at the altar. The reverend said the inaugural “If anyone here knows of any just cause or impediment as for why this couple should not be bound in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The room was quiet, but of course nobody was expecting anyone to actually speak. That was until one member of the congregation raised their hand - your friend and bridesmaid Sarah. The vicar seemed genuinely taken aback, before addressing her.

“Miss, you have a reason that this marriage should not go ahead? Please consider the gravity of what you are about to do before you share it.” Sarah was hesitant, but continued anyway.

“I suspect that… the bride may love somebody else.”

~

Robert was sitting in a pub not far from the church, drowning his sorrows with a glass of whiskey. His tie was loose, the top button of his shirt undone and moving between leaning back into the wall of the booth, trying to make himself invisible, and resting his head in his hands. He didn’t even look up at the flurry of activity when one of his students, Lomanitz who had also been invited to the wedding, came hurtling through the door looking for him. 

“Oppie, I have news.”

“What, have the happy couple tied the knot yet? How wonderful.” He didn’t even look up from the table, playing with an unlit cigarette, balancing it on his finger to find the centre of gravity.

“Actually, they haven’t tied anything.” He looked up then.

“What do you mean?”

“Sarah stood up and told the congregation that y/n was in love with you and the groom was so angry that he called the entire thing off.”

“You have to be joking me… where is she now?”

“Y/n?” Oppie nodded. “She’s gone home with the Chevaliers, nobody else would speak to her.” Robert stood, downing the rest of his drink, before making his way to the door.

“Thankyou Lomanitz, and remember to get your thesis to me by Monday.” 

~

In the meantime you were sat in the front room of the Chevalier residence. They were friends of Robert’s who knew you well and were the only people who were willing to help you after the revelation of the earlier ceremony. It was pouring with rain outside, the raindrops bouncing off the ground and the sky even blacker than your mood. You were pulled out of your thoughts by a knock on the door, well three rather desperate sounding knocks to be honest. A male voice shouted through, telling you that he would sort it, so you went back to staring at the wall and nursing a glass of something rather potent you had found at the back of the kitchen cupboard.

‘Y/n, there’s someone here to see you.” You huffed as you got up, expecting it to be your parents or someone similar, making no hurry to get there. What met your eyes was somebody very different.

Robert was standing in the rain, soaked to the maximum with water dripping from the brim of his hat, now slightly bent from the moisture. 

“Should I come out or should you come in?”

“As much as I hate to say it we need some privacy, I hope you don’t mind the rain?” There was a strange look on his face that you just couldn’t read. You stepped out into the downpour, anticipation building in the pit of your stomach.

“Look, I’m sorry for walking out of the wedding today,” he started. “Lomanitz told me what happened though, is it true that you love me, because you see, I am so very in love with you.” The whole world stopped when he said that.

“Robert I… yes, I do love you.” The look of apprehension that had previously been rooted on his features quickly left, being replaced by a wide smile.

“I must be in heaven, there is no chance that somebody as beautiful as you could exist in this world. You’re the form of beauty, you know that.” You smirked at that, he always was smooth with his words.

“Oppie, I’m a bedraggled mess in the middle of a rainstorm., wearing a wedding dress from another man’s wedding.”

“It doesn’t matter, you are breathtaking.” He pauses. “In fact, I’m hoping that I might be buying you one of those soon.”

“You mean…”

“Yes, will you marry me?” I reach up for his face, reaching my arms around the back of his neck and pulling him into a deep and romantic kiss. Its a few moments until we break apart.

“I’ll take it that’s a yes!”

[aloneatpeace]

𝙰𝙿𝙾𝙲𝙰𝙻𝚈𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙲 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙻𝙳

WICKED '11'

Yoongi swipes the card and the door opens with a hiss, hoseok had tagged along saying he can help if needed the rest of them waits in the dorm.

Entering through the door they are shaken seeing the grievers preserved in tank filled with some fluid that they are not sure of, dozens of fetus state grievers lined up behind one another. Yoongi and hoseok glance at each other entering through the next door see people hooked of wires, tubes attached to their body.

Hoseok hurriedly strutted towards a body that hooked to the vitals uttering your name thinking that it’s you.

He slowly parts the hair that covered the persons face and sees that is not you, a feeling of relief and pain wash through him at the discovery.

Aris walks towards them with somber look on his face “it’s Rachel. They took her the first night. I told her it was going to be okey”

The sound of door opening alert them and the three quickly scatter hiding behind the pillars, hoseok and yoongi huddled together while Aris hide hides himself.

Janson walks in with man carrying a tab talking among them as they walk towards, the screen in front of them light up catching their attention eyes narrowing with interest. Yoongi’s and hoseok mouth open in a silent gasp, on the screen Ava Paige who supposed to dead sitting in a chair going through papers in the desk in front of her.

“Good morning, Dr. Ava Paige, good to see you again although I wasn’t expecting to hear from you quite so soon” Janson says with tight smile

“Change of plan, Janson. I’ll be arriving a little sooner than expected, first thing tomorrow.” Ava Paige say standing up she walks towards the screen closer.

“We’ll be delighted to have you. I think you’ll be pleased with the progress we’ve made.” A slight close-lipped smile on Janson faces that yoongi so badly wanted to punch

Ava nods a thoughtful look loom on her face “Does she remember anything?”

“Aside from that she used work for us nothing else. No need to worry she does not fully remember them.” Janson said.

Hoseok and yoongi share knowing glance in their back mind they know who they are talking about though more questions arise.

“Namjoon seems to recover his suppressed memory as well, we haven’t been able to determine Jungkook’s status, subject that belong to Namjoon maze. I’m sure you are familiar with them.  though his brain activity functioning well there is chance he might as we reclaim his memories” Janson words make their heart drop, they forget to breathe for a second. Many more questions arise hoseok hold around on yoongi’s clothes tighten, their legs feel shaky.

 “Erase their memory again, we cannot take any more chances. What about the rest of them?”

Janson motion the guy beside them, the screen shows brain’s scan of them “As you can see, early results have been extremely promising. Whatever it is you’ve been doing to them in there, it’s working.”

“Not well enough. I will take the three with me. I have received board approval. I want all of the reaming subjects sedated and prepped for harvest by the time I arrive.”

“Doctor Paige, we are going fast as we can. We are still running tests”

“Try something faster. Until I can guarantee their security, this is the best plan.” She stresses

“Ma’am, security is my job. We’re on 24-hour lock down here. I am assuring you the assets are secure” Janson state with tight strained smile.

“Have you found the Right Arm?” she asks that question seems to falter Janson.

“Not yet. We tracked them as far as the mountains.”

Ava composure falls “So they’re still out there” her voice rise “and they’ve already hit two of our installations. They want these kids as badly as we do. And I cannot I cannot afford another loss. Not now, when I am so close to a cure. If you’re not up to the task, I will find someone who is.”

“That won’t be necessary. Might I suggest we start with the most recent arrivals”

“Namjoon’s maze?” Ava asks.

“Yes, they seem too suspicious of us. one in particular”

“Just get it done” she dismisses going back to her chair Janson nod and turn to leave.

Before Janson can fully leave, she calls them “I don’t want them to feel any pain”

“They won’t feel a thing.” He says but his eyes say otherwise, with heart racing out of their chest they rush out and crawl through the vent and reach their room.

The rest of the guys spacing back and forth sprung towards them when they hear them coming through the vent.

“She is alive, Ava Paige is still alive. Its WICKED “yoongi hurriedly takes blankets and ties them on the door.

“Namjoon and jungkook is alive, they have them” the boys stand shell shocked further confusion adding as they taken in yoongi’s rapid movements.

 Jin grab yoongi by his collar “What do you mean they’re alive?”

Yoongi pants sweat dropping down from his forehead “Ava Paige is coming to get them, take them along with y/n”

“To where?” taehyung asks with Theo standing beside him with a worried look on their word.

“I don’t know. “

When Janson and guards comes with sedations they’re meet with empty room. The boys successfully get out the room by crawling through the vent. Along the way Aris parted with saying that he needed to do something important Winston volunteered to go along with Aris in case they’re meet with any difficulty.

Yoongi guides the boys through unfamiliar hallway halting back when they see the doctor who they had seen around the lab

“What are you kids doing out?” she asks with a narrowed eyes at bewildered group of boys, the alarm blaring sound echoes around the hallway they are in.

Before she can run hoseok grabs her “You’re going to take us to our friends” yoongi cold voice and burning glare send the same shivers down her spin when she encountered Namjoon.

Turning a corner they narrowly miss the shots that aim at them, hoseok hands the women over to jin before.

“Hoseok, what are you doing?”  jin yells

Hoseok runs back with yell just as the guard come around the corridor slamming the man to the wall with grunt escaping him, hoseok efficiently knocks the man out of conscious.

  The rest of them gather around hoseok looking down at the unconscious man “That was sick” jimin says in amusement.

Yoongi takes the gun examining it for a quick second before pointing at doctor “okey. Come on. Let’s go.”

The doctor takes them to the restricted area where they kept the three of you, taehyung close the door behind them. “Where are they?” he barks gritting his teeth hands gripping tight on the weapon.

“They are here” jimin gasps when he sees his friends who were hidden by curtain. Jin and taehyung moves towards them.

There you, Namjoon and jungkook lay unconsciously hands and legs tied down, jungkook is hooked with wire and machines while you and Namjoon has a single ivy drip on the arms.

“Jimin, what is their condition?” Yoongi gulped without looking away from the people that he held hostage.

“they’re alright” jimin mumbled checking jungkook bandaged wound first before moving on to the rest. 

taehyung take sharp surgical knife and starts cut the restriction on Namjoon as he was closer to him.  “Jin hurry” taehyung hands jin another surgical knife to cut your binds.

Jimin carefully remove the wires and ivy trips from jungkook while jin does yours and taehyung does Namjoon. Their eyes filled with tears hands trembling as they work, they wake them up.

“Jimin” jungkook soft voice almost made yoongi falter along with the rest relief filling their lungs. Jimin hosts jungkook up throwing his arms over shoulder to support him.

“Tae, I knew you guys would come” Namjoon eyes blinked a lopped smile on his face taehyung give him a weak grin.

“she’s isn’t waking up” jin hands touch your face shaking you gently, yoongi march towards the doctors stomping his feet.

“What did you do to her?” Namjoon and yoongi asks 

“It just a heavy sedative” the lady yell out trembling at the crazy look that Namjoon and yoongi’s eyes had.

“We have to go” Frypan yells seeing sound of fast paced footsteps running toward their direction.

Jin hand taken you in his arm jimin and taehyung help jungkook and Namjoon to stand on their feet as the rest quickly barricaded the door to stall them, hoseok look around for escape “everybody, stand back” he grabs a chair smash it against the glass window repeatedly breaking the glass.

 He jumps into other side and turns to jin motion to hand over you, jin does once he does hoseok give you back to jin holding on to jin shoulder and giving a meaningful nod to take care of you until you are fully capable of standing on your won. 

The rest of the boys jumps to the other side yoongi and hoseok once again guiding them, just as yoongi opens the door of the room they meet with another man carrying stun gun few feet away from them yoongi pull the trigger without a thought his eyes popping out as the man fall back sliding across the floor electricity crackling from the weapon yoongi holding. they run past the groaning man on the floor. They come down to large door yoongi take out the key card and swipes cursing out loud when the door does not open.

“Yoongi” Janson voice calls from behind making them turn to him and his approaching men carrying stun guns.

Yoongi takes the stun gun, point towards them making Janson raise his hands in surrender and walk towards them dismissing his friends calls, he needs to do this he can’t let Janson get near his friends. “Open this door, Janson.”

“You really don’t want me too.” Janson says inching towards them, they are meet with glaring yoongi walking towards them with aggravated stance. 

“Open the damn door.!”

“Listen to me! I’m trying to save your life. The maze is one thing, but you kids won’t last one day out in the scorch. If the elements won’t kill you, the cranks will.” Janson stops walking towards them as well as yoongi “I only want the best for you.”

Yoongi eyes narrow at the man’s words a scoff escaping his lips “Yeah, let me guess. WICKED is good?”

Yoongi backhanded comment seems to make Janson true face to slip “You’re not gonna go through that door, yoongi.”

Just as the words leave his mouth the door opens starling the rest of the boys huddled on the front of the door jin grip on you tighten, on the other side Aris and Winston stands.

Jin quickly moves everyone follows hoseok turns to yoongi “Yoongi, now”. The rest of the boys’ yells at yoongi to run towards them. Yoongi starts to fire the stun gun walking backwards quickly, yoongi grunts in frustration when the gun gets empty throwing the gun at them. yoongi turns towards the door and run just as the door began to close, he slides through the floor before the door can fully close.

Aris quickly towards the door smash the key swiping device locking Janson on the other side hoseok and Winston grab the everything uses full. 

Jin glance down at you feeling hands curl around his clothes “Jin”

“Oh, thank god, you’re awake” he whispers a sigh of relief leaving his lips, “Are you alright?”.

“You need to trust me. we have to go now” jin set you down but keep his hands on you “you need to run with me, okey.” Jin slowly starts to walks with you as yoongi and rest open the big main door.

The sand wind rush in as yoongi open the door “GO. Go” he glances back panicking when he doesn’t see jin nor you “JIN?”

He felt like he could breathe again when he sees you slowly ruing with jin beside you towards yoongi “Yoongi, what’s going on?”

Yoongi hurried towards you garbing on to your arms when he gets on his arm’s length “Hope the nap given you some strength” he pulls you towards him and starts picking up pace quickly catching up with the rest pf them.

Yoongi, jin and you behind everyone sees guys on bike coming after you, adrenaline kicks making your heart beat fast. You run faster moving among the boys, the boys get flabbergasted when they see you run up head.  

You falter on step when you see Namjoon and jungkook just as Theo yells to slide down a hole, everyone carefully slides down and find themselves in what’s look like abandoned building almost berried by sands.

Yoongi beside you steady you, hoseok take out the flashlight that he taken from the knocked-out guard and shine it around the building “Where the hell are we?”

“I have questions too?” you say raising your hand slowly eyes pinned on Namjoon and jungkook “How are two alive? And the hell was going on.”   

Namjoon doesn’t say anything his eyes looked on you like he never seen you, his eyes shined with tears barely holding back from falling down from his orbs. 

While jungkook stands asking the same questions to himself all he remember is dying in your arms and the shrilling screams that escaped from you lips before he finally felt his heart stops. He doesn’t know how is he alive? Who saved him? his friends couldn’t save him If they didn’t do it that mean who ever that saved him is in the building that run away from? Who are those people? why did they run away from them?  

“Am I hallucinating” you whisper after Namjoon and jungkook stays silent yoongi roll his eyes with a smile on his face though they’re not saved at least they are saved from being send to somewhere unknown.

“No, you’re not.” Yoongi said “We were never saved from WICKED. they are WICKED Ava, she’s alive. And we thought they died but WICKED had them. it’s all a step they’re setting us up for something new.” He adds looking at Namjoon and jungkook.

“We found bodies, too many to count” everyone turns to hoseok jimin and taehyung eyes widen at his words.

“What you mean? Dead bodies?” jimin asks his heart beating out his chest where they been sleeping under the same roof next to bunch of dead people without knowing they’re gonna the next victims of this messed up experiment.

“No, but they weren’t alive either. They had them stung up with tubes coming out of them. they were being drained. There is something in our blood that WICKED wants. Something in our blood.”

Taehyung glance around everyone standing apprehensively (expect one) after hearing hoseok words “So we have to get as far away from them as possible.” He speaks with his hands on his speaks.

Everyone nods jimin turn to jungkook and Namjoon “I’m glad we didn’t lose you two” jimin throw himself around the two gripping their clothes taehyung smile at them before joining.

“Yeah! Don’t go dying okey?” Jin playfully scold opening his long hands joining the group hug hoseok grab yoongi and join the hug sound sniffling can be heard from group.

You watch as the reunite its clear as day the seven share a bonding that you or any other Glader can’t comprehend something you wanna be part of but you know you can’t heck the reason they’re in mess and the reason jungkook got shot is you and haven’t even able to say thank you or apologize you’re not sure what you should do even and them not answering made you more anxious you don’t even why Namjoon looked at the way he did, is holding anything against you are not sure. you shouldn’t be envious of their happiness or the love that share but you are.

A hand slides in yours making you glance away from them; Theo hands wrap around yours and he squeeze them gently “I am glad you’re here” he whispers his eyes peering at you with smile.

“Me too” you say returning the smile.

“Hey guys look here” frypan say as he crouches down, he points at the foot prints.  “Someone’s been down here”

“Let search around the area see if we can find anything that we can use” jin propose shining his flashlight.

Jin and hoseok along with frypan walk in the front, jimin frown when sees you and Theo holding hands walking towards them slowly though now it’s not just jin shines his flashlight through the shutter door “come on open up”

You and Theo sauntered towards inside using his flashlight behind Namjoon and yoongi linger and yoongi sees how Namjoon’s eyes seem follow you around.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” his voice was low only two of them could hear the exchange of words.

Namjoon let out a long sigh “you might I am crazy, if I tell you.”

“Well, I saw grievers contained in tanks, tons actually and there is creature called cranks that are cannibalistic roaming around the who one’s were humans just like us” yoongi and Namjoon look at each other for the latter pulls him aside, before calling and jin and hoseok.

Jimin and taehyung had gone looking for supplies away from them while rest scattered around to find anything that can help them.

jimin had given you his flashlight saying he and taehyung can use theirs you depart from Theo and look round for things that you could use; you walk into what look like makeshift room with torn curtain acting as door.

shining the flashlight your heart almost leaps out when the light falls on creepy looking mannequin that jumping back a little. You shine your flashlight on the ting conforming it is just a mannequin, now lasting thing you wanna deal with a haunted doll or some shit.

 “You alright there?”

Turning around you find jungkook standing behind you with the curtain lifted a little, but he doesn’t enter his eyes search around the room though he doesn’t look satisfied with nod he turns to leave you alone.

“Wait”

Jungkook glance back at you and come in the room slowly “I am sorry for what happened…though sorry doesn’t reverse what happened I…I never gets to say thank you for saving my life.” you fingers tighten around the flashlight.

Jungkook lips starts to curls a smile forming on his lips “it’s alright.”

You shake your head at his quick dismissal “No, you shouldn’t have done that.” You take a step forward towards him hesitating.

“Why shouldn’t I, I wasn’t gonna let you die. And you don’t need to apologize I’ll do it again to save you” jungkook doesn’t know when he walked closed towards you, closer than ever yet something in him said closer, closer.

His eyes fall on your face tears hung on your water line his body move on his own hands coming to wrap itself around your body bring you close to his chest. His hand rest on your back of your head smoothing down your hair his other curl around your back. You let your head fall on his chest hands his waist pressing your body to his he responds with squeezing you in, “don’t blame yourself for what happened, it was my decision and I will do it again if it means to save your life”

You lift your head to see he’s already looking at you “why?” His eyes fall on your lips as the question leave your lips “I don’t know why, but I would.” He concluded

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[blueroan-equestrian]

Yawne pt 2

Part 1

@Isazelhmann

Aonung walked into our home with his catch of the day and some fruit.

I gasped excitedly, “Aonung! You brought home fruit! Where did you find these?”

He smiled as sauntered over for a kiss, “it was a bit away but I know you love these. Thought I would surprise you. Will help me with the fish? I got enough for the family dinner. I’m going to stowaway the fruit though.”

“Of course, thank you for providing for me.” I hummed.

He leaned in for another kiss, “of course Yawne. How was your day? Did mom teach you anything new?”

I chuckled, “Yeah… today was just a diving to Eywa and listening for her… she helped me stay under the water longer than I thought I could… you know I still have a long way to go with my breath work… I don’t get as much practice as my siblings…”

He kissed me stopping my rambling, “I know babe, it’s fine. You are a healer. We need good healers. I hunt for us, I can’t heal anyone. I know I used to worry about it but I wasn’t choosing you back then… I chose you now.”

We got to work on the fish and as we were finishing up, my family arrived. Aonung has been more involved since we reconciled. Sure we started family dinners before but he was only going through the motions. Now he actively participates in the conversation. He was currently telling my father about the best spot to fish during this time of the year and I was completely enamored with him.

He caught me staring and he flashed me a cocky smile, “Enjoying yourself Yawne?”

I smiled back and rested my chin on his shoulder, “Yes I am. I can’t be more proud of you.”

Lo’ak of course made a face and I couldn’t care anyway.

When walking my family out my mom turned to me and says, “I am glad to see you happy. I am glad that he has grown to not only love you but adore you. I was worried at first but he has proven me wrong.”

“Me too mom. He has proven us both wrong. And I am so grateful that he has. Thanks for coming over.”

Mom hugged me tight, “No thank you for the beautiful family night.”

… I watched my family walk back before turning to find Aonung already cleaning up. I smiled watching him taking care of me in a way he didn’t before. Before he did this just to go through the motions and that was a big step for us as before we weren’t even doing that. I remember the first time I started sitting with him during clan dinners, we didn’t even speak. I remember our first family dinner he brought the fish and and vegetation that I asked for and didn’t participate in creating a meal, only spoke when spoken to and never helped clean up. We were sharing a bed and I think it did help with us bonding as we would snuggle even if it was unintentional at times. Then he pulled that stunt and what I thought had killed all progress we had worked for turned out to launch us forward to this. Us really seeing each other.

“Aonung, you spent all day to get ready for this, for me, why don’t you let me clean up. I’m sure you haven’t seen your friends all day. Why don’t you go join them. I’m sure they are still out and about as they always are.”

“I don’t mind Yawne, these nights are important to you.”

“Yes they are but I know that my little brother can really get under your skin. You can go unwind while I clean up. You need your time with your friends as much as I do with my family. Please, go relax.” I cooed placing a hand onto his shoulder.

He stood up handing me what he had in his hand and then kissed me quickly, “Thank you Yawne. See you in a few hours?”

I nodded and kissed him again before he trotted off. I cleaned up quickly enough. I moved onto preparing a bath for myself. It was definitely needed, diving was still a bit of a challenge for me. My muscles had tensed up from the focus it takes to keep myself under water. I love the way water feels but the day made me feel like I stank literally and metaphorically. I sat in our small wooden tub that only I could fit in. Aonung would have to run a wet rag over him and if he wants more of a flowing water he has to stand in the tub and take a basin and pour it over him. I finished up and used his basin to drain the tub enough for me to be able to carry it out and dump it out. I sat in our shared bed falling asleep quickly. I was awoken by Aonung crawling into bed with me. I turned around and snuggled into him.

“Did I wake you, Yawne? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you… Yawne?” Aonung whispers into the darkness.

“Hmmm?” I hummed.

“I… never mind.” He mumbled.

“No tell me my love.” I coo as I reach for his face.

He covered my hand with his and looked into my eyes through hooded eyes, “we have a tradition of when we are mated to get tattooed… I am not asking for you to do it. I don’t care one way or another. But I was thinking of getting it done… but I don’t want to be alone when I get it… will you come with me?”

“Of course I will come with you.” I hummed. “Why do you want them now?”

“Because I have a wife, whom I love and respect. I want the clan to know just how committed I am to you.”

“But you don’t care if I don’t do the same.” I questioned.

“No, it’s my tradition, it doesn’t mean the same thing for me as does for you. So it’s purpose isn’t really relevant. I want it because that’s it shows that I am proudly married, that is how we show it. I’m sure that you have your own way of showing your marriage status.” He shrugged.

“Not anything quite so obvious as the tattoo.” I sighed. “We used specific feathers… feathers that aren’t from around here…”

“How about some special seashells instead?”

“Yeah… will you pick them out?”

“Yes I would love that.”

…

Aonung sat cross legged in front of me holding my hand as the elderly woman tapped the needle into his shoulder that was being used to tattoo him. “You’re doing great baby.” I cooed.

He gritted his teeth and tried to make it look like he was completely fine. This tattoo was going to be a two, three day if not longer event as it was going to be from his shoulder blade, down his pectoral and down part of his arm. I worried that he would pop a blood vessel with how much he was straining. “Try to relax baby, you got this.” I hummed patting his hand that I was holding.

He squeezed his eyes shut, “I’m trying too.”

“You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” I reminded him.

“I’m fine, Yawne. Nothing that I can’t handle.” He strained to say.

I checked, “alright Yawne I am with you.”

…

When she finished she turned to me, “so when are we doing yours?”

I glanced at Aonung nervously, and thankfully he responded, “(Y/n) has her own customs, that she will be abiding by. The tattoo isn’t something she will be participating in right now.”

She smiled tightly with a judgmental expression but didn’t dare question the future chief. He dove for the best shells that were small enough to weave into my hair but still colorful. Aonung insisted that he would braid them in but I had to redo it. Of course I let him think he did it all on his own. “Look at my beautiful wife, may all other men know you have been claimed and look on with envy.”

I chuckled, “Aonung being one of the only forest Navi in this tribe, I stick out like a sore thumb and everyone knows that I belong to you anyhow.”

He stepped close to me and pulled me close, “You know I think there’s another way to show off that you are mine.”

“Oh? How?” I chuckled as I played along.

“Let me put a baby in that pretty little pussy of your.”

I chuckled nervously, “Aonung… I have done nothing to stop a pregnancy, I know that I have to produce you an heir.”

He cocked his head to the side rolling his eyes, “Babe, you don’t have to if you don’t want to… but I would like to have one with you if you want one with me too…”

“And if I say I’m not ready?” I asked tentatively.

“Then I would say that maybe we should start taking some precautions until you are ready.”

I looked at him, “and you would be alright with that?”

“Of course I am, it’s your body and if you aren’t ready for it then I don’t want you to feel obligated to change your body in anyway for me. Even for an heir.”

I smiled, “and if I am ready?”

“Then we continue as we have. So my Yawne, what are we doing?”

I bite my lip, “I think… we continue on as we are and let Eywa decide.”

He simply leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine as he led me back to our bed. His lips kissed down my neck, to my chest, to my stomach where he stopped to pay extra affection to before proceeding to my pussy. His breath hit my skin and my breath hitches in anticipation of his tongue flicking out to swirl around my clit. I bucked my hips desperate for more. He pulled back, “baby girl I need you to hold still. I will take care of you baby.” He pressed his lips firmly around my clit as he devoured me. His tongue twisted inside of me and his touch made me see stars. He climbed back up me and whispered, “baby, wanna ride me or do you want me to fuck you senseless?”

“Roll over darling, I wanna ride you.” I moaned as we rolled so that I would be on top. I reached down to take a hold of him to guide him into me. We both let out a sigh of relief as I sank down onto him. His hands found my hips and helped guide me back and forth in a steady rhythm until he seemed to need more. He used his weight to flip us, smiling down at me with a glint in his eye, he placed a hand above my womb and pressed down creating a delicious friction inside of me. “Oh Aonung! Oh Eywa! Harder please!”

He growled and picked up the pace, throwing his head back. “Baby you feel so good.” With a few more thrust, I was cumming and he was shooting his seed, deep inside of me. He rolled off me panting, “Well baby let’s hope it takes.”

I rolled my eyes, “What ever happens, happens.”

Part 3

[six-eyed-samurai]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This relationship should not be condoned and was only written for entertainment purposes. Dark content like kidnapping and stalking is in here, so don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. Also the song is All I Want Is You by Rebzyyx in case you're wondering

I know what you want, girl

The ping on your phone had you clicking the Instagram notification in surprise, not expecting any activity due to you not posting your latest video yet. Did you text anyone recently? Not that you remembered. It was probably just a new follower; a smalltime cover artist like you didn’t expect much so you took what you could get.

It was not just a new follower.

Your eyes widened to the size of saucers. He of all people had followed you back?

Swooning internally, you double checked to be sure. You had discovered a new singer not too long ago that suited your tastes perfectly, from the genre to music he produced to his voice, quickly becoming a fan of his. Your last video had even been a cover of one of his hits.

Speaking of that video, he had left a comment and a like: Flattered you chose my song, looking forward to see more of these phenomenal covers.

Let me be the one to

At first you were convinced it was his publicity team at work, or that was something generic he’d say on every cover of his music. You weren’t that good of a singer or that famous of a star to be noticed by him.

Then he privately texted you on Instagram.

It was the usual topics at first. You fangirled, he accepted, you asked about his life, he answered vaguely, you wanted spoilers for his next project, he dropped hints, you joked about getting tips on how to improve your covers and he responded with beyond that. With compliments, even.

Somehow this spawned whatever weird friendship you both shared.

Hold your hand forever

Time went on and while you never actually met physically your relationship improved with each meme that you’d message and every song recommendation he’d send. He followed all your socials and gave you a little shoutout on his posts occasionally, leaving you kicking your feet in glee.

(How’d he find your other accounts, you weren’t too sure, but it was probably because you used the same profile picture for all of them, heh.)

Texts progressed to calls and calls progressed to the day you both released a cover of a duet together. His fans went crazy; some were upset their favorite artist was supposedly no longer single, but most were wild with speculation of who his “girl” was.

Your friends needless to say went berserk. You laughed them off, citing with a blush you both were just friends. Friends with a literal celebrity who decided to make nice with some nameless nobody.

Okay, it’d be lies to say the thought of him and you as a couple didn’t get your heart hammering and your body basically reacting as if you had swallowed an entire kaleidoscope of butterflies.

That’s just silly! You guys haven’t even met in real life!

We’d be good together

About a few months into your strange relationship with him you’d have to retract that statement when he casually texted you one day out of the blue: hey, coming to your part of the world soon, wanna meet up?

By then you both were already in the calling stage (and by calling that meant hitting that dial button at the most random of times just to tell him about that cute cat you saw or him to complain about his manager hounding him as usual), so without thinking about where you were or where he might be you slammed your finger so hard onto the screen you heard a crack, although whether it came from the phone or your finger you couldn’t tell.

“Are you serious? Don’t shit with me about this!”

“Hey, why would I joke about this?”

Your friends were practically slack-jawed and green tinged with envy the next day when you delightedly announce the meet up at the cafe he wanted to try out after hearing you blabber about it so many times a couple of day after his tour would start.

I'll make you feel special

He was just as nice as he was online, nothing like you had feared at all; he pulled out the chair for you, offered a bite of his food and a sip of his drink, even paying for the meal with an insouciant shrug and “Hey, you chose the place.”

Damn, why couldn’t all guys be like him?

He had pulled enough strings to score you both a more private, secluded booth at the back where he would be less likely to be noticed by bothersome fans, and the way he was staring at you right now that was making you blush so made it clear he only wanted his attention on you and yours him. To think he wanted to hang out like this again! With you of all people, some nobody fan!

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” His smooth voice rang out in laughter. “If any of my fans or paparazzi heard that you’d be so attacked right now. Not to sound arrogant, but I don’t just start chatting to anybody, y’know?”

Help you feel less stressful

“Yeah, well, but, I’m not that special.” You ducked your head shyly, but suddenly it was tilted up by his index finger so you’d look at him (oh god, did he just do that?!).

“Hey, plenty of things to like about you. I like your taste in music, your covers, your voice, your restraint not to fangirl too hard, your - let’s just say I like the way you make me feel like I’m some normal person out on a date with an amazing person and not a harassed celebrity.”

Harassed celebrity and a convict soon, because you were probably going to die from how fast your heart was beating. Or embarrassment as you spluttered and he laughed. Laughed.

“Plenty of other things too I won’t tell for now.” He winked and his lips split into a sincere smile.

You peek through your hands covering your red face. Sincere, yeah, but something prickled at the back of your neck. The smile was a little too wide and close to your face, triumphant in a predatory way that seemed nothing like a guy who managed to get his date flustered would wear.

Maybe someone would wear that sly, possessive smile when they-

“Anyways, where to now?”

Fix the holes in your heart

Your friends were a little more understanding when you both were meeting physically, now that you think of it. They didn’t kick up such a fuss when you cancelled several outings or didn’t pick up your phone during the outings with him, respecting that he would be leaving soon and you both wanted to spend as much time with each other as much as possible. They bore through you dragging them off to every single of his concerts with the overused promise of free tickets and best seats pretty well too.

But when his tour ended and admittedly you started spending a hell lot of time on your phone texting and calling and updating him on every single damn thing that went on in your life, according to your exasperated friends. It was practically spamming at this point, they insisted.

Naturally you got defensive and it ended in one big fight you were really regretting now, hiding under your mound of blankets and talking it over with him.

It's what I wanted from the start

>>I think I need to cut down on my time talking to you tbh

>>I needa think about my other friends too

>>also i’ve been really distracted lately so yeah

>>I hope that’s okay with you? pls don’t get offended

what’s wrong with focusing all your attention on me?<<

let’s not forget who was there for you when that date stood you up<<

or who sent you cash when you couldn’t pay back the apartment repairs<<

or who helped you boost your earnings making covers<<

are you really dumping me for them?<<

I thought we were friends<<

more than friends.<<

I got mental issues

You bit your lip. This wasn’t how you had expected it to go at all. Now every single one of your friends were mad at you. God, you had really screwed up, hadn’t you?

And he was still typing.

you’re the only one who makes me feel like a normal person, not some chased idol with unrealistic expectations everywhere<<

is it so bad that i can’t let you go?<<

>>no, no, it’s not like that

>>I just need some space

>>I’m still your friend, I just need to figure out a way to split my time evenly between you guys

>>please understand

Please understand, you pleaded in your head. You didn’t like the weird feeling (chills down your spine? goosebumps?) that came with every cold, fuming text of his.

Always fxxkin’ miss you

…fine<<

but I can still talk to you right??<<

gonna miss you a lot ngl<<

>>ofc!

>>ty for being so understanding

Happy that it was so easily blown over, you grinned and began to work on texting an apology to your friends and an invite to get together tomorrow. They weren’t the type to hold grudges and soon enough all of you were teasing each other about being punctual and not end up in the wrong bar the next day.

Weren’t the type to hold grudges, yes, but even your best friend of many years began to side eye you when your phone began to ping nonstop. Nonstop as in endlessly for about five minutes straight with absolutely no break in between. It frankly freaked all of you out and now you were very, very alarmed at whatever was happening to it.

“Shit, maybe it’s one of those spam callers! Go block them!”

At your friend’s words you panicked further and quickly opened up your phone.

Hah, you weren’t that naive to think that he’d accept your words just like that, were you?

Never mind, apparently you were.

Tons of bloody tissues

You were being spammed. Everywhere, anywhere. And it was all comments or things you couldn’t find fault with, but this had to be some form of harassment, right? Right?!

Even posts you didn’t remember from five years back on your Instagram received about a dozen likes and comments. Everything on your forgotten Tumblr account got reblogged. Your Facebook was bleating with notification after notification both there and your email. YouTube was probably in danger of crashing at how many subscriptions and compliments that were rolling in.

All from the same account. Well, variations of the same account. Public, personal, fanmade-

God, WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO DO?!

You had to deal with it later. Anytime but now, not when you friends were looking at you so peculiarly. They wouldn’t believe it, you realized. Who was gonna believe a celebrity like him was spamming some nobody artist’s socials so obsessively? You’d be the crazy one, in fact.

What the hell had you done? What the hell was going on?

Later, later, later. You mustered your best neutral smile and set your phone in silent mode.

“Heh, you’re right, it’s just them telemarketers, huh?”

All of over my room

>>WTF DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING

what?<<

>>DONT PLAY INNOCENT

>>IT WAS YOU WHO KEPT SPAMMING ALL MY ACCS THESE PAST FEW DAYS

>>explain

i didn’t do shit whatever it was??<<

You were about to explode. Hours of going back and forth on this subject and he continued to flat out deny all charges. Never mind your friendship. No actual friend of you who cared about you would do this. Whatever guilt you had originally felt vanished the longer he went on defending himself.

Hell if you were gonna be friends with such a fanatical creep who couldn’t take it if all your attention wasn’t on him and acted like a child throwing a tantrum (with petty revenge) if he didn’t get his way.

>>ykw

>>we’re done

>>I’m not putting up with this anymore

>>bye

hey wait<<

You blocked him.

I need to clean them up

You often wondered how you never saw it as you aimlessly scrolled through your past conversations with him. It was so obvious, all the red flags - the way he’d make sure you always paid him attention or guilt tripped you back into talking to him no matter how busy you were.

He had a way with words, you supposed. What a singer like him was supposed to have.

It’s over anyway. Nearly a month had passed since you blocked him and so far the spams had stopped. Nothing else had happened.

Humming, you plugged in your earbuds and began to wash the dishes and clear up the remains of the dinner you had shared with your friend. It had been a pleasant time, and it had only now dawned on you how freer you feel compared to when even grabbing a coffee with your pals you’d worry about his messages.

Your Spotify was on whatever mixes they created just for you, so it wasn’t unusual for you to hear some new music blasting, but tonight they seemed rather…familiar.

“Love the way she makes me feel, like I’m just another lovesick guy, not whatever they painted me to be, can’t ever, ever, let her go-”

Hold up.

Baby, I'm fxxked up

Your trembling finger scrolled further down the article. He had recently released a new album, “Digital Love”, and that apparently had been what you were unwittingly previously listening to. But there was something seriously off about the lyrics.

One song’s verse was describing a bedroom that was certainly vague enough, yes, but when you compared it to yours it was uncannily similar. He’s never been in your house though.

Another was about a cafe date, which certainly was generic enough. If the cafe didn’t sound like an exact copy of the one the both of you went to.

Another’s “text conversation at 3am”’s wordings were awfully alike to your chats. If it weren’t about a couple already dating you’d have thought-

The songs got weirder the more you scrolled, from the general cliche romance to something borderline psychopath-level infatuation with whoever he was singing about. Or the harsh life of a celebrity…except in the song’s point of view the singer was the one stalking the celebrity.

It summed up your brief relationship perfectly.

It wasn’t probably about that but it certainly made you extremely relieved you had broken things off.

Baby, will you help me?

Damn were you excited! And nervous, don’t forget nervous.

You spent quite a long time in front of the mirror, fretting over what to wear, what to wear? Was your makeup too much? Would those shoes hurt your feet if you wore them too long, so should you stick to your first choice of footwear?

Eventually you calmed down enough to pull off a look that even you would have to admit you rocked. Your best friend certainly thought so, delightedly commenting loud enough for everyone to hear when you climbed into the car with an embarrassed flush that left your blush useless.

You both had somehow managed to score invites to a prestigious music awards event, how lucky was that?!

Of course it wasn’t as interesting as you had originally thought it’d be, you found out when you got there. Once the novelty of meeting all those renowned musicians from around the world wore off it was all drinks and sore hands from clapping as guests gave speeches and singer after singer received awards. At least that was what your more-than-drunk bestie confessed as you both declined another glass.

“And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Best Album of the Year goes to…”

Oh god. You balked. The contents of your dinner threatened to tsunami out of your throat. You hadn’t realized, hadn’t remembered he’d be here too. Shit, shit, shit.

You calmed down with a few breaths. He hadn’t even seemed to notice you at all tonight. Neither had he made any other attempt to contact you after that. What could possibly happen? You were just being paranoid. Blame the alcohol, you decided.

He leaned into the microphone, flashing that trillion watt smile seen everywhere on the media. “Thank you, thank you all. I’m a songwriter and I can’t even express how happy I am to have won this award thanks to all of you.”

This brought out a round of laughter. He waited and went on. “There’s so many things, places and people that inspired the album, actually, but I’d like to thank one person in particular, actually. We haven’t made anything official yet, but after all those late night talks, dates…I think I really want to call them mine.”

Woah, he moved on pretty fast. You wondered who whoever he was talking about was. Or who they were - his plus one -

The color drained from your face. He called your name

Because I'm gonna help you

He chuckled to himself as everyone pushed you towards him. Alcohol weakened your strength and no one would notice your obvious fear and reluctance. That, he reflected, was how it was in the life of someone famous. Nobody noticed anything negative and when they did it blew up.

It was because of this, honestly, that made him chase after you so badly. You let him be vulnerable, be soft, be lonely and not have to worry that it’ll appear in the headlines the very next day.

He’d told you before. I like you because you make me feel normal.

Some nagging conscience feebly berated him at the back of his head at what he was doing but he brushed it off. He had given you a choice but you had turned him down. Turned him down in favor of…others. You couldn’t say he hadn’t been fair now.

Did you really think he’d let go of the one heavenly thing in his life? He’d drag you down to hell if he’d have to, if you wouldn’t go down willingly. You had to or he’d lose his mind. You didn’t have a choice. Not now, being yanked up to the stage, your rejections unheard. Not later, when he’d have you stay in his mansion forever. How else did you think your friend got those tickets?

You were a little too naive for your own good.

YANDERE ALPHABET MASTERLIST

[razzle-zazzle]

3682 Words; Discolored

AO3 ver

“Poppy, did Branch crash at your pod last night?”

Poppy turned to look at Floyd as he ambled over to her, cane and tail working together to keep his balance. He came to a stop and sat down on a nearby mushroom, and Poppy smiled. Floyd was making great progress with his recovery! He wouldn’t have made it to that mushroom in a single go last week.

“No, I haven’t seen him since yesterday.” Poppy responded. “Was he not at home last night?” That was pretty unlike Branch—either he slept in his bunker or he slept somewhere else he considered safe enough, which was pretty limited.

Floyd shook his head. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon.” He looked out towards the rest of the village, frowning. “Is that…” He swallowed, his eyes not meeting Poppy’s, “That’s not normal for him, is it?”

Poppy’s tail lashed behind her. For all that Branch was eager to have his brothers back in his life, they’d been gone for so long that they were essentially strangers. As much as she wished everyone could fall back into familiar routines and get along, the world just didn’t work like that. Once again, she was confronted with the fact that, for all that he was living with him, Floyd still didn’t know Branch as well as she did.

Poppy shrugged off the annoyance—it wasn’t her issue to resolve, and it was well on its way to fixing itself—and focused in on the important parts. “Did he leave any notes on where he was going?” While he didn’t do it as often these days, Branch could still disappear into the forest for days at a time in search of supplies and other materials for his stockpiles. But he never left without some kind of indication of where he was going—not after his and Poppy’s adventure to Bergentown that ended with the formal end to Trollstice.

Floyd’s grip tightened on the handle of his cane. His tail curled around his legs as he spoke, “Not that I could find. He was acting really evasive all day, too.”

Poppy’s tail smacked the ground. Okay, now things really weren’t adding up. “I’ll go ask around,” she decided, “and see if anyone else has seen Branch.” Her duties as Queen took her all over Pop Village and Trollstopia as a matter of course, so she was bound to stumble upon some answers eventually.

Floyd nodded. “I’ll go see if John knows anything.” He decided, standing up. Poppy almost offered to go with him, but Floyd didn’t even spare her another glance as he went on. If something went awry, there was no shortage of Trolls who would happily help him out, so Poppy resolved to put her focus to where it would be most useful.

Her daily rounds were pretty routine at this point—after the morning song, Poppy went around to check on her people, letting them voice opinions, concerns, and even just happy “Good mornings!” Though not a social butterfly, Branch still had a few friends throughout the village and in Trolltopia, so it was just a matter of collecting what information she could and putting it all together.

Everywhere she asked, she got the same response. Nobody had seen Branch past yesterday evening—most Trolls hadn’t even seen him after the morning at all. Floyd seeing Branch in the bunker yesterday afternoon was the latest that anyone had seen him, it seemed.

The market was bustling with activity when Poppy arrived, sun high in the sky. Trolls of every shape and color walked around through the stalls, exchanging goods and gossip in equal measure. Poppy beelined for Smidge’s stall—the stoutberries were in season, and her Right Paw Troll had no shortage of eager customers.

“Good Morning Poppy!” Smidge greeted, passing a mug of stoutberry juice across the counter to an eager Troll. “Here, have a mug on the house.”

Poppy took the mug with one paw and reached into her hair with the other. “In that case, have THIS!” She handed the bag of cookies across the counter. “On the house, of course.” She smirked. It was a routine exchange, but no less genuine.

Smidge giggled, taking out one of the cookies before re-tying the bag and slipping it into her hair. “Oh, yeah,” She passed out another mug, and Poppy shifted to the side so she wouldn’t get in the way, “A pair of Pop Trolls came up to my stand the other day.” Smidge started.

Poppy leaned forwards. Smidge wasn’t one for frivolities—outside of the usual frivolities Trolls concerned themselves with, of course—and Smidge’s tone implied there would be more to the story than face value.

“I didn’t recognize them at all.” Smidge elaborated, passing another mug out to another customer. “But they were nice enough and they bought plenty of stoutberry juice.” She shrugged, pleased at the successful sale.

“Huh.” That was weird. Poppy knew everyone in Pop Village, and was well on her way to knowing everyone in Trollstopia, as well. As her right paw, Smidge should also be able to recognize every face, if not know them all personally. “Maybe they were Putt-Putt Trolls?” Poppy was still familiarizing herself with Viva’s people, after all.

Smidge hummed. “One of them had wild enough hair for it, but I don’t think so. The rest of the details just don’t line up.” She lifted her paw to her mouth, her brow creasing in contemplation. “Come to think of it, one of them had eyes just like Branch’s. Like, uncannily so.”

Poppy frowned. It wasn’t unheard of for Pop Trolls to be out wandering the world—Branch’s brothers had been doing exactly that for years—but something about the timing of it all felt off. Two strangers showing up barely a day before Branch’s… Poppy didn’t want to call it a disappearance—Branch was tough, he was probably fine. But the fact remained that nobody she’d talked to had seen him since yesterday, and nobody had any idea why. It reminded her of years past, before peace with the Bergens when Branch barely involved himself with the village at all if he could help it. But he had come so far since then!

“Speaking of Branch, have you seen him?” Poppy asked, already anticipating the answer.

Smidge hummed. “Last I saw was when he bought some stoutberry juice yesterday morning.” She handed out three mugs to a pair of Trolls. “I don’t know where he went after he left the market.”

Right, just as Poppy had feared. She sighed, and turned to Smidge with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Smidge.”

Smidge’s eyes narrowed. “Have you seen Branch?” She asked, already intuiting the reason behind Poppy’s question. It was just like her to pick up whenever Poppy had a problem. Poppy didn’t know what she would ever do without Smidge.

Poppy shook her head. “Not since yesterday.” She responded. “And everyone else is saying the same. I’m gonna check his bunker for a note after doing my rounds in Trollstopia.”

“That’s unlike him…” Smidge put a paw to her mouth, thinking. “Once I’m done here, I’ll go see if Milton has any snoutsniffers in his care, see if I can’t track down any leads.”

“Thanks, Smidge,” Poppy grinned, “You’re the best!”

Smidge laughed. “Don’t I know it!” She waved as Poppy stepped back, reaching for another stoutberry to refill the pitcher with. “Have a good day!”

“Of course!” Poppy laughed as she skipped off. Like she could ever have a day that wasn’t good in some way—there was always a bright side to everything, even when things got bad. There had to be.

With that thought in her mind and a spring in her step, Poppy went on to continue her rounds.

+=+=+=+=+

“Any luck?” Floyd’s voice greeted Poppy as she returned to her starting point, the sun having long disappeared behind the trees. Floyd was sitting on a mushroom, cane leaning to his side, his arms folded in his lap. His tail curled in on itself.

“Smidge offered to borrow a snoutsniffer from Milton to help investigate.” Poppy responded, sitting down next to Floyd. “But other than that? Nothing.” She leaned back and stretched her arms above her head, her tail and legs stretching as well. There hadn’t been a note in Branch’s bunker—at least, not where he’d usually leave notes. But it could take weeks for Poppy to dig through the entire bunker, and Branch wasn’t the type to leave his notes where they couldn’t be found. So here she was, sitting next to Floyd and looking for something more concrete to do.

“John hasn’t seen him either,” Floyd shook his head, “But he said he’d go looking.”

Poppy brightened. “Oh, that’ll be a great help!” She hadn’t known John Dory for long, it was true—but it was already clear that he had a skill for finding people. He’d managed to find Floyd’s prison in Mount Rageous and Branch at Bridget and Gristle’s wedding within days, after all! For all his… well, Poppy didn’t want to be so mean as to call them faults, and it wasn’t really her place to say, but John Dory definitely needed some work—for all his… rough edges, Poppy trusted that when John Dory put his mind to something, he’d find it.

Floyd nodded. Poppy waited in case he wanted to say anything else, but no words were forthcoming. That was fine, though.

“Queen Poppy!” And there was Smide, approaching with a snoutsniffer in her hair! Poppy stood up excitedly, her tail beginning to lash in anticipation.

Smidge set the snoutsniffer down. “Meet Petunia.” She boasted, “Milton says he’s the best tracker in the litter.” Her chest puffed out as she spoke, pride welling up in her eyes as she thought of her boyfriend.

“He’s. So. ADORABLEEEEEE!” Poppy was already on her knees, tail whipping behind her. With a squeal she brushed her paws over Petunia’s periwinkle carapace. Petunia whuffed in response, shoving his face into Poppy’s paws to demand more attention. “Ohhhh my Troll, who’s adorable? Who’s the cutest wittle snoutsniffer in the world? Is it you? Yes! It’s you! AWWW!” Poppy’s paws were covered in slobber. Her heart wanted to burst right out of her chest. She couldn’t stop cooing—Petunia was just! Too! CUTE!

Behind them, Floyd chuckled faintly, standing with a grunt of effort. “Are we ready, then?”

Smidge nodded, and Poppy stood, tearing her paws away from Petunia’s perfect periwinkle carapace. They started by the bunker, Petunia sniffing at a shirt Poppy had retrieved from within before puttering off to find the scent. Smidge unclipped the leash to let Petunia work more efficiently.

“Does…” Floyd closed his mouth, mulling over his words. “Does Branch ever just disappear like this?” He made a face the moment he finished speaking, ears flushing slightly. Poppy opened her mouth to speak—

“Not really?” Smidge answered, as Petunia kept puttering around. “A year ago this would have been pretty normal—Branch only ever came into the village when he needed something. We’d go days without seeing him at all sometimes.”

“Ugh, and he used to never leave his bunker at all during winter.” Poppy added, flicking her tail. “So we wouldn’t see him for months.” She crossed her arms at the memory.

“Yeah, and you’d end up bundling all the invitations you made him into a basket for him to find in the spring.” Smidge giggled, paw over her mouth. Her tail flirted behind her as she turned to face Poppy fully. “Oh, and that first year when you just piled them all on his welcome mat!” She mimed a big pile falling down with her paws, making a whoosh noise. “He told me about that a few months ago, said the whole pile fell on his face when he opened the trap door!”

Poppy snickered, face flushing. She hadn’t heard about that part! But it made sense; though fifteen-year-old Poppy hadn’t known that the welcome mat was the entrance to Branch’s bunker, that didn’t change the fact that she had basically buried Branch’s door in invitations.

…maybe she should apologize for that. What if Branch had been unable to open the trapdoor?

“Huh.” Floyd was gripping the head of his cane rather tightly, his tail starting to curl around his legs. “...all winter?”

Poppy nodded. “He’s really come out of his shell since!” And she would never not be proud of how far Branch had come. Finding his true colors again, braving the trials and tribulations of developing a healthy social life, reuniting with his family—Troll, Poppy could gush about how proud Branch made her for hours! She almost turned to her side as if to nudge Branch, but—

But Branch wasn’t here. He wasn’t here for Poppy to watch his face flush and ears flutter in the way they did when he got flustered, blue tones creeping up his paws to his chest in that way that made Poppy’s heart melt. Branch wasn’t here, and he was probably definitely fine because he could take care of himself and get through almost anything when he put his mind to it—

But that was fine because Poppy would find out where he went and it would all work out! Her tail straightened out behind her, taut and rigid like a cord ready to break. Of course she was worried, he was her boyfriend, she’d worry about him always because that was what it was to care about someone—

Petunia’s barks snapped Poppy out of her spiraling thoughts.

“Oh my guh, Petunia found something!” Smidge called out. Poppy rushed over to the Petunia, kneeling down to see what he had found.

It was Branch’s Hug Time bracelet, half-buried in the dirt. Poppy leaned down and picked it up, examining the cut in the cord. The flower looked like it had been stepped on—no, stomped. The petals had withered, and the timer was shattered. Poppy had almost missed it entirely—it looked no different from regular forest floor detritus.

This… Poppy tucked the bracelet into her hair. She couldn’t tell how recently it had been cut, but—surely she was overreacting. Branch probably caught it on something without noticing; he could get really single-minded when he was in the zone. Yeah. It was fine. Everything would be fine.

But Poppy still couldn’t shake the feeling clinging to her fur. It hung off of her tail and hair like a foreboding miasma, implacable in its surety. If Branch were here, he’d be doing all the worrying for her. But he wasn’t here, and all Poppy had was a cut Hug Time bracelet to show for it. So far, of course. She would totally track him down in the end, of course.

Yeah. Poppy clenched her paws. She was sure of it: they’d find Branch by the end of the week!

+=+=+=+=+

It had been weeks. Poppy saw neither hide nor hair of Branch, and nobody else did, either. It was official; something had happened, something big.

She’d already told Bruce and Clay and Viva, and John Dory was coming in and out of Trollstopia to tell her how his search was going—

(Not super well. Rhonda could track, but she wasn’t a snoutsniffer. Whatever Branch was doing, he was moving around a lot, and every time Rhonda found a lead it only lasted a few days at most.)

—Poppy had done about all that she could, at this point. Petunia and the other snoutsniffers were earning a lot of treats and attention for their work combing the forest for clues—

(not far from the Hug Time bracelet, Petunia had found critterbuss tracks. They were similar to Rhonda’s, but not quite the same.)

—she’d gotten the word out to her fellow leaders in case they know anything, including Gristle and Bridget—

(even after a full year of peace with the Bergens, Branch was still wary of the ones he didn’t know, and didn’t like going into Bergentown alone. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be near Bergentown; Hole ‘N Fun was in the same general area. None of the other genre leaders had any news, but they agreed to help spread the word around.)

—and between all of that and her regular duties as Queen of the Pop Trolls and Pop Ambassador to Trollstopia, Poppy was outright exhausted!

But even as she settled down on her bed with a sigh, limbs spread out as she stared at the ceiling of her pod, a nervous energy hummed in all of her veins, crackling and stinging with the need to do something. Poppy’s head fell to the side as she considered her crafts table. Maybe scrapbooking would calm the fire in her paws?

Ughhhh, this was way too much worrying! Worrying was Branch’s thing, because at least he knew how to turn his worrying into something productive! When Poppy tried that, she ended up worrying all over again once she was done. She kicked her feet and huffed, glaring up at the ceiling. Maybe if she worried hard enough, Branch would just show up and this whole worrying thing could be done with!

With a groan, Poppy rolled off her bed and stood, stretching for a moment before going over to her crafts table. She sat down, flicking on the radio with her tail as she contemplated what to scrapbook. The radio was a recent acquisition, custom-made by Rhythm and Blues for her last birthday. A song that Poppy hadn’t heard before was playing, upbeat melody drifting into the background as she opened her current scrapbook. Well, it was one of her current scrapbooks, set right between the one she started to chronicle Branch’s disappearance and the one about Rock Troll agriculture that she had been working on and off on. But the scrapbook before her was her current Feelings Scrapbook: a place to work out everything she felt. It didn’t need to be organized, or follow a story—she cut fabric into shapes and drew nonsense lines with glitter glue, pushing pieces together and making something purely for the sake of it.

The radio continued to play, the song having ended. An ad segment started, making Poppy’s tail lash in minor annoyance. Ugh, maybe she could shift to a different station until the adbreak ended—

Wait.

That—

Poppy’s eyes widened. She set down her scrapbooking supplies, not even bothering to tidy up her workspace as she put her full attention on the radio. That was—

Poppy stood, and ran for the door of her pod.

+=+=+=+=+

“Sooooo what’d you drag us all the way up here for?” John Dory asked, pulling himself up to Poppy’s doorpetal with his hair. Floyd came up behind him, mostly-recolored hair pulling him up with no visible strain. He’d really come far, these past weeks—he could go for a lot longer without getting exhausted!

Poppy brought them inside without preamble. John Dory tracked in dirt as he went, not even bothering to wipe off his feet on the mat like Floyd was currently doing. Poppy didn’t care. The radio was still playing, right there next to her crafts table, on the same station she had left it on. “Listen.” She said, as the current song came to an end and, thankfully, an adbreak started instead of the next song.

John Dory listened for all of two seconds before frowning. “It’s a radio.” He said. “I don’t see what this has to do with any—”

“Just listen!” Poppy insisted. The ads were playing out in roughly the same order as before, which meant the ad they needed to hear was coming up. Indeed, the ad about stage makeup ended, and the next ad began, the speaker talking at a rapid clip.

“Hey ho! Tired of single-genre shows for single genre venues? Looking to hear some new talent on stage? Then you’re in luck! Come see Robin Lily LIVE on his tour throughout the genres! Hear music from all corners of the world, including the new hit single ‘Candy’!” A clip of music started playing, the abrupt start making it clear that it was taken from the middle of a song. “Hey, ho! Here she goes! Either a little too high or a little too low! Got no self-esteem and vertigo, ‘cause she thinks she’s made of candy!” The clip cut off there, the rest of the ad playing out, but—

It was unmistakable.

“That’s Branch!” Floyd gasped, his tail thumping against the ground. “That’s—that’s him singing!”

“What in the world is he doing?” John Dory put his paws on his hips, giving the radio a consternated look. “Running off on his own without telling anyone? Is he really that immature?”

Poppy shot John Dory a look, then decided to ignore it. He and Branch were still getting to know each other, after all. Instead, she pushed forwards. “The next concert is tomorrow, right?” She looked at John Dory. “Can Rhonda get us to Garden Grove Theatre by then?”

John Dory grinned, tail waving behind him. “Uh, yeah, of course she can!” He turned to leave, reaching up for his goggles. “C’mon, let’s get going!”

“Wait!” Floyd interjected, gripping the head of his cane. “Aren’t we going to tell Bruce and Clay?” With Bruce back at Vaycay Island and Clay hopping between Hole ‘N Fun and Trollstopia on a regular basis, it would probably take a while for the news to reach them, and even longer for everyone to convene at Trollstopia. It was a valid concern, but Poppy already had that handled.

“We’ll send them crittermail on the way!” She grabbed Floyd’s paw in her own, waiting until he squeezed back before she started to pull him along. “C’mon, we got a concert to catch!”

“Hair yeah we do!” John Dory whooped, already making his way down the tree, goggles over his eyes. With a grin, Poppy followed him down, Floyd following her down with a yelp and a startled laugh.

Now she could say she’d find Branch by the end of the week—and she intended to! He wasn’t getting away from her that easily!

If only the worry trickling down her fur could agree and go away.

[spaceyaceface]

hello lovelies <3

I think it’s been pretty obvious, but I haven’t been active the last few months. I had been struggling with my mental health for quite a while, and came to realize being so heavily involved in fandom wasn’t doing any good for me. So I took a big step back to figure things out. Thankfully, I’m doing a lot better now.

I’ve gotten a couple messages asking if I’m planning on coming back or being active in the fandom again—so I thought I’d make a quick post about it. I so appreciate all of you who have thought about me and messaged me, it means more than you know. I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made in this fandom. I couldn’t love you all more. That being said, I don’t plan on being heavily involved in the fandom any time soon. I really don’t want to regress to where I was and lose the progress I’ve fought hard to make. But I won’t be gone completely—I’ll be popping on every once in a while to reply to messages.

Lately, I’ve been wanting to finish Safety. If I do do that, it’ll be slow so that I can make sure I’m prioritizing the things in life that I need to. But it’s something I’m proud of and would like to see complete. I cant promise anything, but do know it’s on my mind.

I’d just like to reiterate this: thank you. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for supporting any work I’ve made and thank you for being such a wonderful group of people. I love you all. This community is filled with some of the most creative and passionate people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, please NEVER stop that.

I’ll be around here and there. Be kind, find happiness, and take care of yourselves. Love you ❤️

[n0v4t33z]

The Syndicate - Chapter 3: Soft Hearted Criminal

Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader

Summary: Y/N is a Detective with a promising future in the police department until she's kidnapped by the infamous mafia boss Choi San and from him, she learns the dark secrets her superior has been hiding the whole time so she teams up with him in order to put a stop to it.

Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama

Word Count: 6k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Language, Graphic Violence, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), y/n gets roughed up by Wooyoung like twice , Slow Burn, Fluff sometimes, Work In Progress, Non-Idol AU, Mafia AU, Very suggestive at times, y/n cries alot, y/n having inner turmoil, Ateez being bad boys, Wooyoung and Yeosang are a little mean in this story tbh, Guns, Gunshot wounds, Assassination attempt(s) ,mentions death and acts of violence

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝

Author's Note 💌 : I was supposed to post this in the beginning of August but I ended up getting a little impatient so I'm posting it now lol so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter despite how slow it is, I promise the really good chapters are coming soon! -N

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

The next day after mindlessly sitting there bored out of my mind I hear a light knock on the door only to see Seonghwa quietly opening the door. He gives me a small smile and mouths the words “Hey” Funnily enough I’m happy to see a criminal keep his word and not lie for once but it also doesn’t mean that I’m completely fond of the guy. Although I guess I can say so far from what he’s shown me I can mildly trust him enough to want to see him again just so I don’t get bored. “You kept your promise..” He presses his finger on his lips and says in a low voice “I told you I’d be back. I came here for a bit because I wanted to make sure you were okay.” I dryly laugh “Oh wow I- Yeah. I’m alright, a bit sore but I’m fine.” He looks at the ground for a few seconds then his gaze meets mine with a small friendly smile “So I brought you a book, I don’t know if you like to read or not but I thought maybe you’d want something to read while you’re here.” He reaches into his jacket and hands me a book, the title being “Dracula”. A smile grows onto my features admiring the cover of the book and back at Seonghwa “Thank you, I was being driven insane in here not having anything to do.” He lowers his voice “When you’re done just let me know and I can bring you another one.” He glances down at his phone looking at the time then he looks back at me slightly disappointed “I have to go now, I’m sorry it was too fast. Maybe next time I’ll be here a little while longer I don’t want San to-”  There's a sudden knock at the door in which Seonghwa and I look at each other in shock. “Detective-” San enters the room and looks at both of us then back at Seonghwa “Uh? Aren’t you supposed to be out?” Seonghwa hurriedly gets up “Oh yes, my apologies I was just here dropping a book off for the Detective. She seemed bored so I thought maybe she’d like something to read.” He hums and walks over towards Seonghwa gently patting his shoulder “Make sure not to forget about the other person I told you about.” San glances at Seonghwa with a knowing glance. What was that about? Then again I don’t expect them to tell me anything, I am the prisoner here anyway. Seonghwa gets up and nods “No worries I haven’t forgotten I’ll let you know what I find..” Seonghwa looks at me with a half smile and exits the room leaving San and I alone. 

“Good afternoon Detective, are you doing okay?” I shrug “I guess, I’m just sore. Jongho came by earlier this morning to give me some pain killers so I’m okay right now.” San fixes one of his rolled up sleeves. “That’s great to hear that you’re being taken care of.“ I stare at my lap not wanting to meet San’s eyes “It would be nicer if I could be let go.” San chuckles “Sorry Detective, but I can’t. Not until that issue with your superior is fixed” Of course he can’t, his revenge is his priority. “So you’re forcing me to stay just because you say so? What? Do you want me to get to know you or something too?” He shrugs “I don’t know about that, but if I'm being honest I think you know far more about me than I even know about myself.” I scoff ”That’s not true.” San lifts my chin up and looks me in the eye walking up dangerously close in front of me “You think I didn’t read all your reports and the file you have on me? You specifically stated my height and the previous homes that my family and I have lived in, including the ones before my dad became wealthy. Not many people know about my childhood home, the very detailed reports on the crime scenes I’ve been involved in just tells me that you dedicated most of your time investigating me.” Okay, I have a hard copy of his file on hand but I totally forgot I also have one in the database too just in case. Fuck, so that’s how he read it. I turn my face away and grumble ”I’m just doing my job, it’s not because you’re interesting or anything.” He chuckles “i see, well your obsession with me says otherwise.” I snap my head in his direction and raise my eyebrow “Excuse me? My only obsession is to put you in jail.” He smiles and leans in a few inches away from me “If you think you can do it, go for it. From where you’re sitting though I’d like to see you try.” I glare at him and swing my handcuffed fists at him, and without any struggle he catches my fists in mid air with his hand “If you want to hurt me you might want to be a little faster than that.” His gaze going from an amused one to a darker expression. Did I really forget who this man is? Choi San, the man wrecking havoc not only here in Ulwood but in my life as of now. The man who gets to choose what my fate is and here I am trying to hit him. So smart y/n.

I nervously swallow and lower my fists onto my lap “I-I’m sorry.” He lets out an exasperated sigh and runs his hand through his dark hair “How about we start over?” I awkwardly force a smile “Oh, uh okay.” What is wrong with me?! If I piss him off the only way I'm getting out of here is dead. “That doesn’t mean to be awkward, just be yourself.” How am I supposed to be myself when I’m literally in fear of whether or not he’s going to do something to me? Gosh, I’m going to have to just play along. I awkwardly lean back onto the headboard behind me “Fine. Why are you getting so comfortable?” San sits next to me and gives me a dimpled smile “Why not?” I nervously laugh “I mean I’m sorry but seeing you get so comfortable on my bed is just off putting.” I fidget with the chain on my handcuffs feeling the coolness of the metal between my fingers. San responds “You’re right, I guess it is kind of weird for a cop to see the criminal they’re after’s humanity.” The humanity in San? You’d think the man lost that long ago seeing his file. “Yeah, but I guess we can both learn from each other.” I force a smile and continue “So, um, What about your role model? Do you have one?” He glances at me amusingly “Wow detective these questions- Do you usually talk to people like this or?” Unable to cross my arms because of the handcuffs I roll my eyes “You literally kidnapped me, how am I supposed to talk to you like I'm not your whole ass prisoner?” San scoots closer towards me “I make you nervous don’t I?” There he goes again acting like that. “What? No, you just annoy me.” He looks deep into my eyes smirking, my ears and cheeks feeling very warm “ Hm, I don’t? Then why are your cheeks bright red?” He asks with a hint of playfulness in his voice. I thickly swallow and shake my head “No reason, it’s just really warm in here.” He chuckles “Oh, is it?”

 He reaches over and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear “You’re very pretty Detective.” His cat like eyes turn into crescents when he smiles causing my heart to begin to race “Thank you” I respond trying to pass off unaffected by his charm but utterly failing. He gently brushes his fingers against the bruise left on my cheek making me slightly pull away. He gives me a slightly sad expression and sighs “I wish things would have turned out different and I didn’t have to resort to this type of thing.” Nervously I reach over to gently set my hand on his forearm, as annoying as he is now's my chance. “You know you can stop this right? Just let me go and I will see everything you need to be taken care of will happen, I’ll make sure to have the charges against you dropped.” He looks down at my hand holding his arm then looks back at me “No, I just wish it wasn’t you who has to go through this but unfortunately your partner wasn’t enough to bring Lee's attention or it would have been him who would have been taken.” I blink slightly taken aback and he continues “So, I’m sorry Detective. I just have to do this for my father because as an answer to your question from earlier, my father is my role model.. I know he probably wouldn’t have agreed with how I’m handling it but to me it’s what makes sense considering that bastard’s lack of loyalty towards my father. ” He’s crazy, but unfortunately I understand where he’s coming from. “I get it, but don’t you think he’ll be humiliated even more if he gets arrested? I’d like to add that in prison he’ll be a constant target because he’s a former cop.” San smiles “I’ll think about it” He’s lying, he’s just trying to change the subject. 

“You know, I don’t know you on a personal level despite how much I know about you on file but what I do know is right now your hand is being forced. I know you don’t want to do any of this.” Maybe playing good cop as much as I can will help. He looks at the ground almost like he’s lost in thought “Yeah, something like that but not quite.” I lean in a little closer in hopes he hears me a little better “So tell me, is the Choi San you show the world the same one at home with his family, or is he different?” He glances up at me meeting my eyes “Actually, he’s different. I’ll go as far to admit that I have several versions of myself. How the world around me sees me, how my family and those closest to me see me, and lastly how I truly am.” I’m not surprised but that’s honestly sad. He probably had big shoes to fill when he took over for his father. “I see, so who is the true Choi San then? Is he kind?” Let’s see if I can get him to open up a little more. He nods “He is actually. I’m just normal, I’m nothing special. I only took over because I had to, Wooyoung suggested it would be good for my character since he thought I was too nice sometimes. Unfortunately after I took over I was not only under my family’s pressure but also under our allies’ pressure to continue to be just as equally harsh if not more than my father. I knew from the moment I took over that handling things peacefully was no longer an option out fear that my lack of experience would make them think they could just walk all over me.” I can tell he’s holding back, he doesn’t want to just say it. I can see why it would be hard for him to admit. “So what you’re saying is that the reason your crimes are so violent and harsh is because you’re under inmense pressure by the people who surround you to be more like your father, not because you want to right?” Gosh, I just feel so bad for him. That must be a heavy burden to carry all by himself. “Yes, kind of.” I press my lips into a smile “Well, just know you can always talk to me as long as I’m here. I’ll listen to you, I know it seems ironic with me being a cop and all but I guess since I’m here it doesn’t really count since I can’t really do anything..” He reaches over and removes my handcuffs “You’re right, you’re just a normal girl behind that detective facade you put up.” I get up and stretch my arms and legs “And you’re a regular guy hiding behind the mask of an evil mafia kingpin” He smirks “You’re very poetic Detective.” 

He reaches over for my hand and pulls me to sit down again only he doesn’t let go of my hand and just holds it “You know, I don’t think I was supposed to you all of that.” I shake my head “Don’t worry, I’m not going to use anything against you if that’s what you’re thinking.” He lets go of my hand and slightly narrows his eyes “Okay, so how do you do it?” I furrow my brows “Uh, what do you mean? Do what?” Is he catching on? Oh gosh “You know, get people to feel so comfortable around you. Is that a cop technique or something?” It's not what I thought he was going to ask but what a relief. “Honestly I just treat people like humans, that’s it there's really no trick there.” From the corner of my eyes I notice him intently watching me and as much as I don't want to admit this, looking at his general direction is making me really shy, I feel like I shouldn't be looking at him "You are very sweet considering the type of situation you're in." I dryly laugh "You know being mean won't do me any favors and the last thing I want is for me to have to deal with Wooyoung or worse, a pissed off San. So I'd rather not." He chuckles, why is he looking at me like that? He's supposed to be my enemy why is it making me feel this way. “ Didn't you just now try to beat me with your fists and you say I'm the scary one?" I roll my eyes playfully while gently patting his shoulder "Yeah, well I'm not the criminal here sir." He blinks " What? So am I really that scary?” I nod letting out a nervous laugh “Yeah, most of my colleagues would always tell me how they’d be terrified if they ever had to face you.” San’s tongue touches the inside of his cheek looking a bit satisfied “Ah, so does that include you?” I press my lips into a straight line and I shrug “As long as you’re not pissed.” He gives me a dimpled smile and reaches over to pat my head “You don’t need to worry about that then, I really like talking to you so I doubt you’ll ever piss me off enough for me to react like that.” So as long as I’m good or Captain Lee doesn’t fuck everything up then I should be good. Stay on his good side. He lays down patting next to him “Lay with me” I thickly swallow “Um, may I ask why?” He pulls my hand enough to lay me down next to him “No reason, I’ve just heard people have really nice conversations like this.” He glances at me from the corner of his eye “I promise nothing will happen, I won’t touch you if that’s what you’re wondering. I just want to be San for a bit and have a conversation with someone.” I nod “Okay, fair enough” I lay back and turn to him only to realize he was already looking at me a little different than when we first met. Almost like his gaze soften up. I’m hoping being nice to him keeps me in good graces with him so that I can eventually leave this place.

So I think it’s been a month or so since at this point I’ve lost my sense of time. San, Jongho, and Seonghwa are mostly the people I talk to, especially San. He comes in at least a few times everyday to talk and hang out. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that some dark twisted part of me actually thinks he’s kind of cute or at least his more human side of him. Everyone else still kind of scares me especially Wooyoung so I barely say anything to the rest of them and usually staying silent when they enter the room. I'd also be lying if I didn't admit San and I started flirting a little? Okay, more like banter but it leads to the same thing, feelings. Although I'm still not sure if he actually means it or if he's just messing with me to get me to open up. Knowing him, I won't be surprised if he pulls a fast one on me because of his reputation and is just messing with me because he thinks it's a joke.

I sit in bed and I look at the empty dark gray wall grumbling under my breath “I have no idea what’s happening, I just want to leave. It’s been like a month and I already feel like I'm losing it being stuck in here.” I hug myself and bury my face in my knees and I silently begin to tear up from the overwhelming feeling of being homesick. I hate Captain Lee for being so selfish, I’m the one having to go through so much from almost getting my chest caved in to being threatened while he’s back at the station thinking that he’s lucky not having to be in my position and having the whole police force protect him. I really hope he makes the right decision or I won't forgive him for it.

About an hour goes by of me on and off crying ends up with me laying down silently staring at the door until I hear the door unlock. I expected someone else other than San but to my pleasant surprise it was him. Right as he comes in I notice how eerily silent he was, did something happen? HE 's acting quite different than normal. He sets down the food and sits next to me “Hey, I talked to Lee on the phone earlier but I have bad news.” He uncuffs me and holds both my hands giving me an expression with sadness in his eyes, seeing his face like that made my stomach drop. This is not going to be good. He lets out a long sigh and says “He isn’t going to expose himself and he’d rather have you turn up dead than renounce.” I feel nauseous.

I fucking knew it. I ball up my fists and instantaneously my eyes well up with tears making my vision blurry. I get up beginning to pace back and forth, my body feeling like I needed to walk out the anxiousness and anger “That fucking bastard… Now I have to die all because he wants to keep his dirty work under wraps.” I slam my fists onto the surprisingly hard wall completely ignoring the wave of pain going through my hands and wrists. “He fucking promised to get me out of here!!” I turn my back to the wall and slowly fall to the floor crying my eyes out. San walks over to me and sits on the floor next to me and holds my hand gently stroking my shoulder "Look, you’re not going to die." He pauses for a bit almost like he was gathering his thoughts a little. "We’ll make him think you are but you’ll be okay I promise.” I look at San with my eyes still glistening from my tears “What caused you to change your mind about me dying?” He shrugs then lifts up my hand up to his lips and gently kisses my hand. “ Well I was never intending to kill you. I was thinking and I came to the conclusion that yes, I could have easily killed you but those eyes of yours-" He pauses again almost like he was psyching himself up to finish the sentence he started "Those eyes, they made me so weak that evreytime you look at me it makes me really nervous. Almost like if I couldn’t see them anymore I wouldn’t forgive myself." He reaches over and gently squeezes my thigh "Besides, every time I’d come over and hang out with you I'd leave feeling so happy. So happy, that for those few hours I'm with you everything seems perfect.”

My heart isn’t beating faster, my heart isn’t beating faster, I swear it isn’t, I need to get ahold of myself. I look over at his perfectly chiseled face and I notice something I never really did before and it was that gaze that gave away exactly how he felt, the way his gaze lovingly connected to mine without hesitation made my heart race like I ran a marathon. I wrap any arms around San’s waist while I rest my head on his chest “Thank you, I promise to help avenge your father’s death and I'll also make sure to give you back what belongs to you. I owe you.” He looks down at me, pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear and gently strokes my cheek “No, you don’t owe me anything. The last thing I want is for you to think you do. I just don't want you to get hurt because of me.” I shake my head and I grab San’s hand “Look, I was wrong about you. I admit in the beginning I hated you, then after you told me what happened with your dad I sympathized with you but now that it’s been like a month since I’ve been here and that I've gotten to know you a lot more, I admire you. Even if I’m still scared of the type of job you have I've realized we’re not that different, we both have dangerous jobs and for the both of us we both lost someone due to tragedy. You, your dad and me, my grandfather.” I gently stroke San’s hand with my thumb.

“I know that deep down you’re not evil, you’re just working with what life has given you and I won’t judge you for it. I just want to let you know that I'll be here to help, I won’t just stand here and let Captain Lee get away with everything he’s done and not be punished for his actions. Nothing is going to happen to me, if anything now you’ll have knowledge on the police and their tactics and I know for a fact you won’t turn that down.” I give San a small smile then he looks at me and gently rubs his thumb on my cheek “Hm, you’re right I can’t turn that down but I also have something I want to ask you that I hope you don’t turn down either.” Is he going to let me leave? Maybe he feels bad now? “Yes, of course what is it?” San looks deeply into my eyes for a few seconds without saying anything, and slowly he gently tilts my head to look up at him. “Will you be mine?”

Hey, what? Woah. I mean I like him. But should I do it? Will being with him help me or will it seal my fate? Does that mean I can come and go as I please? Maybe that'll help me be trusted a lot more. It's the only chance I've got now. I nod and gently kiss his hand while I hold his hand onto my face “I would love to.” He slowly leans in to kiss me then he pulls back and gently caresses my bottom lip with his thumb “People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you, someone so caring and understanding. So I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have someone like you.” It actually happened. Me, a former detective is now dating the Boss of the mob group I used to investigate. What a weird turn of events. I can't be too vulnerable though, despite how I'm feeling at the moment I have to remember all his crimes and that with one false move I could end up with them, another name added to the list of corpses Choi San has accumulated on his file. So as twisted as this is it may work in my favor so I can escape.

I lovingly stare into his beautiful dark eyes “I honestly never thought we’d end up together either, but here you are confessing to me. It seems so surreal.” For a few minutes we sit there in silence in each other's arms until San’s radio goes off with Yeosang saying “San, Ito’s replacement is here he wants to talk.” He slightly rolls his eyes in frustration and presses the button on his radio and says “I’ll be there in a bit.” He gets up and then helps me up and sits me down on the bed then he says “I have to go, but I trust you okay? No more handcuffs.” He kisses my forehead and walks over to the door closing the door behind him. Once he's gone I look at my hands and smile “I’m free.” The next step is to make Steven Lee regret he ever threw me under the bus like that, my mother and all my loved ones will suffer over the loss of Detective Y/N but it won't be in vain. I’d rather have everyone I love think I’m dead than for them to know and live with the guilt of knowing that I no longer serve The System. Jongho, Wooyoung, Seonghwa, and San were right. Criminals do have their own reasons as to why they do the things they do. Sadly the easiest and most satisfying way to solve problems is not always the correct way.

“Hey, angel eyes get dressed you’re going to be properly introduced to everyone, the thing is though they don’t know we’re together yet. We have to wait a little longer for that. I just don’t want them to think anything that’s not true.” He walks up to me and hands me a shopping bag full of clothes. “Don’t worry, I understand. You don’t want them to assume we fucked and that’s why I was left alive.” I get up and I walk towards the bathroom, slightly flustered he pushes his glasses up with his middle finger “Uh yeah, that and I kind of never told them that I wasn't ever planning on killing you mostly because I knew there was going to be issues and no one would want to cooperate properly.” I shrug and open the door to the bathroom “Kinda fucked up but, fair enough.” I wonder how much he keeps from them, how much of a front he puts up around them. It's kind of sad now that I think about it. The poor man can never fully be himself and only carefully curated versions of him to help fit a narrative of his choice.

A few minutes later I step out of the bathroom in an all black ensemble some black jeans, a nice plain black top, a leather jacket, and my black high heeled pumps. “You know I look a little dead with these eye bags under my eyes” San walks up to me pulls me close and gently kisses my forehead “You look beautiful to me, angel eyes." He pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear and continues "Besides meeting the guys today we’re also going to go over how we’re going to help you fake your death.” I fix San’s collar holding back a huge smile. “Alright, sounds like a plan.”

San and I walk down the hallway in to a huge conference room except it was more chaotic, maps, notes, and a bunch of other papers sprawled out across the big table. There were also pictures of dozens of people presumably enemies and other rival mafia members. While I look at the pictures a few in particular catch my eye. That’s me, that’s me leaving the station with Chris a week before I was abducted. They followed me everywhere and I had no idea. How did I not notice? Whoever took those pictures was so close, kind of creepy.

I notice all seven of the members in San’s inner circle were here. I’d be lying if I say I'm not scared, because any screw up and I could seriously end up dead in a trash bin. They're all very intimidating just like San himself. San clears his throat “So, i’m sure you guys know the Detective and I've brought her here today because from now on she’s going to be working for me.” Wooyoung and Yeosang give San a surprised face mixed with disappointment. Wooyoung shifts his gaze towards me and glares at me coldly “Why? We literally kidnapped her a month ago. I don’t even think we should even be trusting a cop especially after what happened.” San raises his hand to quiet down Wooyoung and says “You’re right, but Seonghwa, Jongho, Hongjoong and myself have talked to her and she’s reliable. Not to mention she now has a personal vendetta against Lee, so she’s definitely on our side now.” Mingi then says “Okay, what can she do? How does she serve us any purpose besides a pretty face? I know she’s a cop and all but if I'm being honest cops haven’t been very impressive these days and neither was she when we kidnapped her.” Before San could talk I say “Well, besides a pretty face I was trained in both long and short range shooting, and I have a few access codes and I know my way around the police databases. Oh, and about you being able to abduct me In my defense my little detective brain short circuited.” San looks over at Mingi who looked slightly annoyed at the sarcasm tinged answer “There you go questions answered, anyone else?” Everyone stays silent then San smiles “Alright good, so please treat her well she’s one of us now."

Wooyoung whispers something into Yeosang's ear while San continues "Okay, now we’re going to be discussing how we’re going to fake the Detective’s death.” Hongjoong says “You’re really going the extra mile with that aren’t you? Can't she just pass off as a missing person?” San shakes his head “No, because if she does that the police will still consider her alive thus bringing a lot more attention to her trying to find her and since she works for us now we can’t have that. We need to get a little more creative.” After a few hours of careful and meticulous planning a way to fake my death we come up with a solution but it wasn’t one I was too comfortable with and it was taking someone that closely resembles me, remove any identifying features, burn them until they’re unrecognizable, switch my dental records with the deceased and plant my police badge on the body. Sounds easy but unfortunately I know it's not going to be, for anyone, not for the person in place of me, the Aurora syndicate's goons, and myself included. Being on the dark side of justice is not easy, but I owe San for letting me live and I need to teach Captain Lee a lesson for betraying his oath to protect and serve his department. Not to mention he let one of his own to "die" in order to save himself the embarrassment of having to resign as a traitor. Most call it revenge but I call it making it even.

After the meeting, San goes over to his office to get things in order for the plan leaving me to hang out with Seonghwa at the lounge downstairs. “So, you’re staying here?” Seonghwa asks while he takes a sip of some tea that he prepared. I shrug and cross my arms in front of my chest “Yeah San kind of changed his mind after he told me that Captain Lee was going to refuse to come clean. I felt so hurt that I basically told him that Captain Lee and the department were dead to me.” He slowly stirs his tea then he says “Wow so you’re willing to drop your department just like that? Just so you know you won’t ever have to worry about us betraying you, we’re like a family here. Although it’s still a bit off putting having you not be in total isolation and not being in handcuffs.” I rest my head on the lounge's couch arm rest while drawing shapes on it out of habit " Well yeah, I kind of have to at this point. My decision tells you a lot about me. I drop traitors like that with no remorse.”

Seonghwa and I chuckle until I hear footsteps and notice a tall dark haired male extend his hand in my direction “Hello Detective y/ln, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Yunho by the way, we didn’t meet properly prior to the meeting earlier but it’s very nice meeting you.” I shake his hand examining the very tall man before me from the meeting earlier but it’s very nice meeting you.” I shake his hand examining the very tall man before me. He definitely didn’t look like the type of person to be involved in things like this so to say that I’m shocked is an understatement. “Thank you, It’s very nice meeting you too.” He pulls up a chair and sits in front us then says “Detective, did you know that you’re all over the news? They still think Lee is trying to find you, I’m sure they haven’t told the press the whole story yet.” Feeling my hands get cold I tuck my hands under my thighs “Yeah, I don't think they ever will but just wait until they find “my dead body” I’m sure Captain Lee is going to make up some stupid excuse as to why I ended up dead” Seonghwa furrows his eyebrows “So are you going to go completely incognito and leave your past life behind?”

I let out a long sigh and look at the fake Monet painting behind Seonghwa, and with an expressionless face I respond “Yeah, I have to. I’d rather have my family think I died not being a horrible person than know I gave in to the temptation of taking matters into my own hands. without the assistance of the law.” Yunho looks at me with a saddened and serious expression clouding over his features “You’re a former cop we all understand, I’m sure your family never expected this from you. Sometimes to protect what we love the most we have to hide the truth.” I lower my gaze and i nod “Yeah, which is also why I think it’s best you guys call me just y/n since I'm no longer a detective.” They both nod then sipping on his tea carefully Seonghwa says “If that makes you comfortable then go ahead. Don’t worry.” He reaches over to me with his free hand and pats my head continuing his thought "It's also really nice just having you with us." Yunho gives me a warm smile and adds onto Seonghwa's sentiment "Thank you for choosing not to go against us, we really do need your kind of help especially with San's goal of getting rid of Lee. It'll be a nightmare that'll soon end." I press my lips into a small smile "Any person who's got the same enemy in common as I is considered an ally in my book despite the initial differences." Seonghwa nods "I'm glad to know we can count on you, despite how some people might feel about it." Is he referring about the rest of the guys? More specifically Wooyoung? "It's fine, I understand where that fear of them trusting a cop comes from. I'll do my best to show them they can trust me." I'll probably look like a fool trying though, they seem like a very tough crowd to please.

Seonghwa, and Yunho decide to take me downstairs to the basement where Hongjoong was, the same place I was taken to talk to Captain Lee. As expected, as soon as he sees Yunho, Seonghwa and I he groans “What are you guys doing here?” Both Yunho and Seonghwa look at each other then Seonghwa replies with “We figured we’d bring Y/N to come help you with the police databases, Me and Yunho were talking to Y/N how it’s nice to have someone so versatile with us.” Hongjoong stares at me for a few seconds then says “Okay fine, but she can’t touch a computer yet until she proves herself.” I smile and raise my right hand and say “I will after my funeral ceremony I promise.” His eyebrow slightly raises and he says “Don’t promise anything, actions speak louder than words.” Seonghwa gently squeezes Hongjoong’s shoulder and says in a low voice “Come on, San doesn’t just trust anyone remember that.” Hongjoong rolls his eyes and groans “Right.” Seonghwa looks over at me and says in a very stern tone “Please, don’t betray our trust.” He then gives me a half hearted smile and leaves with Yunho leaving me with this grouchy computer genius.

Hongjoong pulls a chair over next to him and pats it “Sit, I need you to guide me with some passcodes, just use my laptop at least there I can keep track of everything you do.” He pulls his laptop out of his backpack and passes me a laptop heavily covered in stickers. A small smile grows onto my features “You like Spongebob too huh?” Concentrated into his work and not removing his focused gaze from the screen he says “Huh? Yeah why?" I shrug opening the laptop “Just asking, I like that show too.” Too weary to continue the conversation he says “Cool.” I slightly roll my eyes. Okay Rude. I begin to work on accessing all the police databases and private records. A few minutes later I successfully finish and I tap Hongjoong’s shoulder “I’m done.” He looks at the screen then at me and clicks his tongue “Oh, wow. Thank you Detective.” I smile “No problem, and just call me y/n. I’m technically not a detective anymore.” He smiles and nods “Okay, I’ll keep that noted, do you mind if I see this?” I nod and he takes the laptop from in front of me. For several minutes I see him reading and looking very concentrated reading whatever he searched up. I suddenly hear the door opening and when I look up I realize It’s Mingi and Wooyoung, neither looked too pleased to see me.

I sigh knowing there was a slight tension not just with Wooyoung and Mingi. I tried to not think about that feeling of self awareness that I was in a building full of people who can just as easily take my life just as easily as they spared it. Don’t get me wrong I like San, but no doubt he still scares me when I remember all the crimes he’s committed. The detective in me doesn’t seem to want to die. “We got the girl Hongjoong, is San done?” My stomach drops as soon as I heard Wooyoung say it in such a nonchalant way. I sit there still unable to process the fact that this will be the first crime I’ll be committing not directly but It doesn’t feel right especially knowing an innocent woman has to suffer, but despite that my I still feel very strongly at getting Captain Lee back, not just that but this is the life I willingly accepted when I accepted to be San’s girlfriend and vowed to get back at that old coward even if it's only temporary.

Still preoccupied, Hongjoong shakes his head and says “No, still up there but I’ll tell him when he’s done. You go ahead and handle that woman, keep her quiet.” Wooyoung and Mingi leave their backpacks on the floor then both walk back upstairs while they talk amongst eachother. I really don’t want to know what’s going to happen to that girl before they probably kill her. No doubt she’ll be receiving the same treatment from Wooyoung as I did when I first got here. It luckily ended early but I don't think I would have survived if I had the full experience. Hongjoong nudges my arm and I’m immediately brought back to reality. I turn to him completely playing off that I wasn’t just sitting there in shock “Hey, these files of all the police reports that Lee did back when he started out are behind an access code do you know it? I sit there for a minute trying to remember it then quickly type the access code in the little white box. Once access was granted Hongjoong takes his laptop back and looks like he’s reading through some stuff. The rest of the time I was there I was sorting out all the files we seized from the server with Hongjoong while my brain in the background kept replaying Wooyoung's "little mistake" as he likes to call it. Seeing Wooyoung so nonchalant about this whole situation knowing he's going to kill that poor girl just unsettles me. Reliving every. Single. Blow. Over. And. Over.

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