#I knew this would happen when they made High Republic TV but

[kcrabb88]

It's truly wild to me how many people out there don't understand that the Star Wars prequels are a tragedy or how tragedies work.

Posts like "these are the Jedi failed movies" truly just make me shake my head. They're actually the "fascism wears a smile until it strikes you down and then it's too late" movies. They're the "the senate became corrupt and clapped in the face of genocide" movies. They're the "make people scared enough of war until they accept authoritarianism" movies. They're the "fear and possessiveness will tear you up on the inside" movies. The Jedi were the heroes of lore, people loved and looked up to them, looked to them for safety, and then too much got put on their shoulders on purpose by Palpatine, and also by a senate that didn't want to act (not you Padme and Bail and Mon, you're perfect). They were drafted and used and scapegoated, which is, you know, a tenet of the vast majority of authoritarian governments (Hitler and Stalin, for instance, might be on different ends of the political spectrum, but they sure both did scapegoat specific groups and commit mass murder, just differently).

When some people say "these movies are about the fall of the Jedi" what they mean is "the Jedi failed" but that's not what "the fall of the Jedi means." It means they were wiped the fuck OUT. Like, Jesus, in Rogue One Tarkin is talking about burning out the final MEMORY of the Jedi by blowing up the holy city in Jedha. Palpatine had to get rid of the Jedi because to get rid of the Jedi was to get rid of the final people standing in his way after he had already worn them out. His intention was not only to kill them, but to alter the galaxy's entire perception of them. To rip away hope. People are always looking for the Jedi to be Bad or nitpick their mistakes (because while other people are allowed to make mistakes, the Jedi never are). Palpatine made himself look like a benevolent grandpa who would keep everyone safe. And that, more than anything, is what gave him SO much power. He stole the narrative.

It's just like. Of course WE know what was going to happen! We know from watching the OT that the PT can only end in tragedy. But the characters don't know that! They don't have all the info! That's how a tragic story structure works. We see it coming and they can't.

Anyway. The Jedi are laser-sword wielding monks with psychic powers who just wanted to do what they could to help. The world would be better if more folks remembered that.

[gffa]

I have a lore question, oh great Master Lumi. Do you happen to know where exactly the terms "crèche" and "crèchemaster" in relation to the structure of the Jedi Order come from? I see them a lot in fanfiction, but I don't think I've seen them used anywhere in canon. As far as I can tell, the actual term for a group of younglings raised together is "clan". And I know creche is, like, a British term for daycare, but these fanfic writers can't all be British. That feels unlikely.

Hi! You flatter me, but I do actually have an answer for this! Well, mostly an answer. I think Jedi "creche" started as fanon, one of those things that I'm not sure of the precise origin of/which authors or fics started it, but it spread pretty quickly. (Unlike the "lineage" thing, which I think started with Ruth Baulding's writing? Or at least was popularized by hers.) However, it made its way to Lucasfilm canon in 2019 with Master & Apprentice where it was mentioned several times:

Obi-Wan’s crèche-mate Prie, for instance, had been partnered with a Master who was expert in two things: forming Force-bonds with animals and unarmed combat. So Prie spent most of her time on undeveloped worlds, protecting new settlements from both wild animals and would-be marauders. Once she had even ridden a horned beast two meters high.

Only yesterday, Dooku had chosen [Qui-Gon] as Padawan. He’d spent his last night in the younglings’ crèche laughing with his friends, imagining all the adventures he would have, and practicing with his lightsaber in the sparring room until Master Yaddle ordered him to bed.

“Qui-Gon whispered, “The dark side?” He knew it was a thing all beings carried within them, a part of himself he would learn to guard against—the crèche masters had taught him all that. But it still sounded a little like some kind of ghost or monster, a mysterious thing that would leap out from the shadows to get you when you weren’t looking.

Qui-Gon sometimes questioned why Padawans were transferred from the crèche to their Masters in the middle of most species’ adolescence—exactly when every change became more difficult.

But this morning, he’d had to pack his few possessions in a small bundle and leave the crèche where he’d lived as long as he could remember.

Obi-Wan said, “You know, I never had problems with that as a youngling. Being independent, I mean. I broke rules right and left. They even called me rebellious. Probably the Masters were surprised anyone was willing to take me on as an apprentice.”  In fact, Qui-Gon had been warned about this very thing. He’d long since assumed that the crèche masters’ concern was overcautious.

It’s also mentioned in Into the Dark and The Fallen Star in The High Republic books, but I don’t have quotes on hand currently. So, it’s never appeared in the movies or the TV shows as “creche”, but the supplementary materials have included it (to be fair Claudia Gray--who wrote all three of the books that quote it--came from fanfic backgrounds as far as I know, so she probably read a fair amount of fic before she became a SW writer), but generally I use “clan” for the group of younglings that were raised together, and “creche” for the actual physical place that the babies are raised in.  You can use “creche-mate” as well, but “clan-mate” seems to be more common. I don’t think the movies or the TV show have specifically stated the younglings were in clans, as far as I remember.  Like, the group of younglings in Attack of the Clones were the Bear Clan, but I don’t think they were called that in the movie.  Or the younglings in The Gathering arc may be in a clan together, but I don’t think that word has ever been used.   But there’s evidence in supplementary material for Lucasfilm canon for “creche” and lots of evidence in Lucasfilm canon and Legends canon for “clans”, so there’s some basis!

[cienie-isengardu]

axelzp replied to “The Bad Batch”:

I think most people take issue with Omega and TBB due to concerns over whitewashing. Also, what do you have against the explanation of the biochips? Personally, I always thought it fit Palpatine's controlling nature better than the idea of clones just getting a command from some random guy in a hood, telling them to kill the Jedi.

First off, I apologize it took me so long to answer. I tried to explain my reasoning in a short and coherent way as possible, but apparently the years of frustration about this issue needed more space to be properly addressed. So, in advance, sorry for text length.

From all TCW changes done to star wars, the chip-in-brain is one of my top 3 reasons to dislike the whole TV show, despite many of its good moments. I understand why authors chose this sub-plot that allows them to separate the visibly individual "good" clones (thus making them more likeable for the audience / marketing) from the “bad” that kill the Jedi but frankly, I find it a cheap and kinda problematic excuse. Clones were victims regardless of which version people will accept but I really despite the idea that Jedi were their beloved generals and commanders - so beloved that clones actually had nightmares about killing them waaay before Palpatine ultimately won which undermines the whole point of Order 66. 

Jedi could never expect clones to shoot them in the back because they were used to their unquestioned obedience from the start of war. It was common knowledge, repeatedly mentioned in sources like “Jedi Trial” that clones were “bred to war, bred to discipline, bred to obey without question the orders of the powers that paid for their services”. Clones were made that way by genetic manipulations and years of intensive training; an indoctrination that makes clone troopers believe they have obey, no matter what cost.

Some sources, like Clone Wars Adventures’ “Orders” outright show us the mindset of clones:

and We’ve got nothing but each other ad our orders.

Because of that worldbuilding, I prefer Legends take on clone obedience and the Jedi approach to the problem than what TCW created. I talked about it more here, but the general sense is that I feel cheated by the idea of chips that turn people into some “programmed” machines because in such way, TCW erased the Jedi & Republic part in abuse & enslavement of clone troopers, while at the same time giving an unrealistic idea that Jedi were so liked / respected when most of clones did not have any special bond with them. And this is less about if Jedi were good military leaders or not and more that as generals/commanders they didn’t interact that much with common troopers. Because the chain of command doesn’t work like that. I’m willing to buy the close(r) bond between Anakin & 501st because frankly Darth Vader himself from the start was built as someone with better relationships with common troopers / “normal” officers than with most of the high ranking officers presented on screen. I’m pretty sure some other Jedi were caring and liking clones (and vice versa) but it is impossible for generals to know and be so close to all of their troopers.

Above everything else, Legends created an interesting situation in which the Jedi Council / Order knew clones would follow orders no matter if those were right or not and were aware how dangerous it could be yet they still didn’t do anything about it, because the obedience of clones were beneficial for them. Jedi not only took for granted their obedience, they mistook it for respect.

Which really speaks a lot about Jedi's own moral failing and/or lack of understanding the difference between those two terms.

In the Legends sources, there was no need for chips, really, when from the start Kaminoans tinkered with clone genome, created the effective system of “proper” education to mold clones into obedient soldiers and Republic wasn’t really interested to undo the damage done by such indoctrination. 

Before TCW brought the chips and “nightmares haunting clones” there were officially established Contingency Orders for the Grand Army of the Republic: Order Initiation, Orders 1 Through 150. A guideline for unexpected and/or critical situations, so the Great Army of Republic [GAR] would know how to proceed - especially when troopers were given contradictory orders. The orders (also known as Clone Protocols) weren’t secret and there is a big chance that Jedi knew it, if someone bothered to learn the manual. The whole formula of Order 66 was described as:

"In the event of Jedi officers acting against the interests of the Republic, and after receiving specific orders verified as coming directly from the Supreme Commander (Chancellor), GAR commanders will remove those officers by lethal force, and command of the GAR will revert to the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) until a new command structure is established."

And here how the scene played in the RotS novelisation:

That concealed compartment held a secure comlink, which was frequency-locked to a channel reserved for the commander in chief.

Kenobi nodded and spoke to his mount, and the great beast overleapt the clone commander on its way down into the battle.

Cody withdrew the comlink from his armor and triggered it.

A holoscan appeared on the palm of his gauntlet: a hooded man.

"It is time," the holoscan said. "Execute Order Sixty-Six."

Cody responded as he had been trained since before he'd even awakened in his creche-school. "It will be done, my lord."

The holoscan vanished. Cody stuck the comlink back into its concealed recess and frowned down toward where Kenobi rode his dragonmount into selflessly heroic battle.

Cody was a clone. He would execute the order faithfully, without hesitation or regret. But he was also human enough to mutter glumly, "Would it have been too much to ask for the order to have come through before I gave him back the bloody lightsaber. . . ?"

The order is given once. Its wave-front spreads to clone commanders on Kashyyyk and Felucia, Mygeeto and Tellanroaeg and every battlefront, every military installation, every hospital and rehab center and spaceport cantina in the galaxy.

So there is really no “random hooded guy” calling clones to kill Jedi but Chancellor himself using an appropriately secured military channel with confirmation of his identity to issue a legal order in a critical situation (an opportunity created by the Jedi Council themselves who went into the Senate building to kill Palpatine). So why the clones shouldn’t listen, when the order came directly from the Supreme Commander of the Great Army of the Republic? 

Of course, the movie (and novel based on it) alone has this weird addition like “yes my Lord'', what I personally consider as the cinematic way to show the switch from Chancellor Palpatine to Emperor Darth Sidious. Still, I’m willing to give some benefit of doubt about the modification made by Kaminoans and if Order 66 could trigger anything hidden in clone subconscious. But even if there was something, it didn’t erase their personalities or changed the way clones behaved like it happened in The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch.

One way or another, the Order 66 worked out because clones “have no malice, no hatred, not the slightest ill intent that might give warning. They are only following orders”. Which I guess comes down to how clone troopers were presented - or maybe rather how they were seen by other characters in the Legends. As more detached, combat pragmatic, toned down, to some degree isolated from the outside world, less individual. Regardless of what Jedi or Republic citizens thought about clones, it did not make them any less human beings.

And here comes the paradox of The Clone Wars. The TV show made great effort to humanize clones by presenting them as very individual, outstanding people which in itself is a great thing. The names, the tattos, the different paintings of armours, visible variety of behaviour. All great to make the audience see clones as human beings, to get emotionally invested into them, because the more likeable clones were the better for marketing the story (and the cynical part of me thinks it really comes down to making money, isn’t it?)

But this effort became also the trap and the inhibitor chips is the excuse to make such loved, caring and brave characters into the detached clones gunning down the Jedi in Revenge of the Sith. 

The things that irks me a lot about this situation is the feeling like fans started care for clones because they were made into different type of characters than what they were (similar like Anakin’s movie characterization was thrown out of the window, to make him more suitable for fans who wanted the badass typical male hero instead of introverted, conflicted and traumatized young man). The clones get the visible individuality to make them the heroes we should root for, but then there is the “magical” switch that will cut down their heroic deeds because now they are “bad” and stormtroopers can’t have any personality. Which is just… frustrating. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore how clone troopers get more visible individuality (even if sometimes if felt too exaggerated), but the “not standing out from the group”  was something that kept clones alive on Kamino and I can see why it was used as coping mechanism (the safe option) during the war. I regret that The Clone Wars didn’t show the transition from AotC nameless troopers into such individuals and how much it happened thanks to Jedi, what may help to build the feeling of supposed strong bond between Jedi and troopers. Because frankly, when we met TCW!clones, they already have names, different colors and marks on armor plates and helmets and for all we know, they could create their own “culture” without Jedi influence.

The final part of why I hate the chip-in-brain sub-plot is how it changed clones. Because even if that was a means to force clones into killing Jedi & ensure that Order 66 will be carried on no matter what, it shouldn’t change them into bullies toward their own brothers. But now in The Bad Batch, the clones don’t speak between themselves, are aggressive toward others and generally act like assholes for no real reason. And yeah, I get this may be a cinematic metaphor for a change from “good” republic soldiers into “bad” imperial stormtroopers and most likely something along the way “Republic/Jedi gave you individuality, Empire takes that away” but frankly, Republic did not give anything to clones. It did not acknowledge their human right, didn’t have any plan for their future, didn’t pay for their service or more expensive medical treatment for that matter, did not teach them they could - should - make their own choices.

Now clones are cheering for the Empire because inhibitor chips! They are assholes, because inhibitor chips! They shoot their *beloved* Jedi generals because of the chips! 

And in a way, I get this resolution, the chips make it clear clones were victims. But even without them, they were victims from the start. Except now clones are “programmed” while in Legends the senate (a power paying for their life) officially and legally renamed Republic into Empire and clones were glad for still having a purpose in life. The war ended (thus their usefulness), but they were still needed - still wanted - instead of being put down or closed at Kamino or whatever. I can see why the uncertainty of the future made clones cheering up for the Empire. And frankly, I personally prefer them not caring for the political change (because why should they? It never was their job to *judge* the rightness of their superiors) instead of being “programmed” like some droids and playing the role of fodder to kill for the “good guys”.

Dunno, if I explained properly my issue with inhibitor chips, it just feels to me as not really convincing and a too risky concept in the bigger picture of the things and the fact that Jedi just like that ignored this suspicion matter of Tup and Fives and biochips doesn’t help either. Like I said, I understand why the chips were introduced to the story, as the excuse in the change of clone troopers’ behaviour but at the end of day, Legends worldbuilding will always make more sense to me. I don’t need overly done differentiation of clones to care for them as an individual human beings (and it kinda seems to me like that, clones suddenly became fan favorite when every looks or act differently but not when the AotC literally presented them as an army created to blindly obey Jedi/Republic) and I don’t blame them for sticking with Empire because what better option they had, considering their upbringing and the pathological system in which they lived all their life?

Dunno, I’m biased and may just have allergy to TCW in general.

As for Omega, I’m not really surprised about this concern, especially after seeing TBB’s version of padawan Kanan (that if not for A) some basic knowledge about his backstory and B) Depa Billaba calling him by name, I would probably never have figured out who he was supposed to be). But for Omega alone, I don’t mind her look, because I’m used to Legends!Jango’s biological family in which his mother and sister were both blond haired women and frankly, some “defective” clones (including Rex?) apparently could be blond too, so it seems like Jango’s genome has a recessive gene somewhere for that color of hair. I try to hold my judgment about Omega and her appearance until the full backstory will be revealed because there is still a chance that Fett’s DNA was mixed with someone else's (still I hope Omega is not force sensitive…). I mean, Hunter has heightened senses while Wrecker has almost supernatural strength and both traits seem to be not really human, so who knows what Kaminoans really did with them.

 I understand people’s emotional response to Disney’s approach to characters and their visual look, especially since it isn’t the first screw up in New Canon (the models for characters in general and New Mandalorians especially). I’m totally okay with people’s criticism of that matter and demanding from Disney more diversity and respecting the already established ethnicity of certain groups. I’m aware I may not be sensitive enough to that matter as some other people (even more with barely watching TV shows to have any current and up-to-date comparison to trends in cartoons) and I’m pretty sure more qualified / invested fans already wrote or will be writing soon great metas about that. But the thing that irks me is hearing people saying that Omega *can’t* be Jango’s clone - I don’t like this sort of exclusion based on someone’s look alone. She may not look like Fett or other (male) clones but it is not something Omega chose for herself and does not erase her connection to the rest of the Bad Batch. Being angry at Disney/creators for her look is a different matter I don’t have any problem with.

[phenomenalcosmicpowers]

G5 MOVIE THOUGHTS FOLLOWUP - THE ANCIENT EQUESTRIAN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

SPOILER WARNING: THIS WILL GET INTO SPOILERS FOR THE G5 MOVIE EVEN BEFORE THE BREAK. IT HAS BEEN JUST OVER A WEEK SINCE THE MOVIE PREMIERED. BUT IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T SEEN IT, PLEASE SCROLL PAST THIS.

This is something of a follow-up to my thoughts on the movie. My thoughts on the movie were generally positive. Though much like the movie itself, the positive thoughts were on what it’s doing on it’s own merit as the start of a new generation of pony media. As someone who had followed Generation 4 from all the way in the middle of Season 1 to the ending of Season 9, the connection the G5 movie makes with the previous generation in the opening scenes are enough that it’s necessary to give a perspective from a G4 fan’s point of view. Again, I do want to say that G5 will be within it’s right to not have to answer so many plot things at once and try to stand on it’s own by exploring the characters and this new Equestria first.

That said, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the longer none of the questions G4 fans will have are answered. There is a huge elephant in the room with the unanswered questions from G4. And It is Hasbro’s fault in the first place for telling us it’s the same Equestria, There will be fans that are annoying about it from multiple angles, and there will probably be times where people who just want to enjoy G5 on it’s own just outright snap at anyone who wants their answers about what happened in between G4 and G5. Even if the person who asks the question is just genuinely curious and not being demanding there be answers. This is just the kind of thing that all fandoms that have timeskip sequels, especially ones where it overrides a happy ending where discussing with other friends can get dicey.

HAPPY ENDING OVERRIDES AND ALICORNS

Until we get an official answer from the show itself, we can only theorize with each other. Though theorizing about a happy ending override, regardless of how long it’s been and/or how sensible the theory is can start some heated discussions, Cause many were content with the happy ending of the original. While no realistic story ever has a happily ever after, a story within a fantasy land such as MLP’s can be an exception.

Let me give something of a comparison by bringing up another show. Avatar: The Last Airbender is perhaps my favorite show of all-time. And while it’s true I didn’t like the sequel series Korra as much as A:TLA. It wasn’t because of some happy ending override with at least half of the main cast from the previous series deceased. The Avatars themselves are just as human as the other characters in the world. Avatar’s still a fantasy world when all is said and done, but the way the world building is done still made it feel like it it was possible for the world to be in danger again by the time the next Avatar is grown up, most known Avatars had challenges they had to face. The Avatar series blends some form of realism but still manages to provide a fun fantasy world. It’s a case where it’s believable that the main legacy of Aang’s time as the Avatar aside from defeating the Fire Lord where he created Republic City would have it’s own fair share of problems that would be left to his successor to solve. Aang in turn was finishing the war that Roku failed to stop. So while I have my criticisms about Korra, none of those are related to the way the world is after the timeskip. It reasonably makes sense in the context of the Avatar universe.

In contrast, there isn’t much we know about the past of G4 and it’s a much more idealistic setting then in Avatar. Yes, ponies die with what I assume are human-esque lifespans for the exception of the Alicorns. But Friendship is Magic is a setting where the power of friendship is literal magic power that can save the day even when things look bleak. As a result it can get very sappy, but FiM is the kind of show you watch to put a smile on your face rather then go to for a multi-faceted plot. Most episodes of FiM are the kind of thing you see in a lot of other shows. But what brings most of it’s fans back even for the most overdone plots is the characters and their interactions. FiM’s lore is a lot less straight forward, and sometimes may feel not as consistent given there were so many different writers over the long span of time. That said, there is something about the series that sort of ties in heading into G5 and that’s G4’s history, and especially Alicorn lore. We don’t get a lot of either even back in G4, as the most we get is the founding of Equestria was through the Hearth’s Warming Eve story, and the knowledge that Alicorns like Celestia and Luna are at least older then 1000. Which is a huge gap compared to the Avatars that no matter how powerful, have similar mortality to our own. Throughout G4’s time, the debate about Alicorns have raged throughout the whole time even before things got really heated upon Twilight becoming an Alicorn in Magical Mystery Cure. Some went with Celestia and Luna being the only immortal Alicorns while Cadence and Twilight were somehow lesser Alicorns that aren’t immortal but maybe at least still a longer lifespan then their normal pony friends and family. Though as of Season 9, that may be turned on it’s head when in The Last Problem. Twilight eventually grows to Celestia-size as Celestia and Luna even retire to let Twilight succeed them. If Twilight is somehow a lesser Alicorn, why did she grow to Celestia’s size? Why did Celestia and Luna retire in the first place if they knew Twilight will not be as long lived as they are? Perhaps part of the reason G5 has as many questions as it does is because G4 itself created questions it never promised to answer.

That said, the implied length of Celestia and Luna’s rule still presents G5 with a problem that will be asked everywhere. Even if we go with the possibility that most of the Mane 6 have passed from old age, you still have to answer something about Twilight. If Twilight is also dead, how long did she live? Did she at least have an over-1000 year reign as Celestia did? Was perhaps Luster Dawn chosen to be her younger co-ruler if Luster herself ascended at some point? The kind of things that might actually force G5 into a corner when it comes to Alicorns despite the fact G4 never had to, especially now that Sunny may have just become one herself. This is once again, another of the traps Hasbro put the writing team through by having them put it in the same world. G5 thus not only adds questions about what happened in between the Generations, but also now has to inherit what remained unanswered in G4. That is a VERY tall task on a team that will likely just want to do their own little fun pony show. It’ll raise expectations too high, and there will be annoyed fans regardless how they spin it. Which could have all been avoided if they set it up that this was an entirely new world, or made G4 a fictional story (With all the references to it being mainly merchandise for a really meta look at things) in the G5 universe. You’d still have people complaining about it not being as good as G4 probably, but the approach they went with added more gasoline to the fire whenever G4 Vs. G5 debates happen in the MLP fandom. And inter-fandom generation fights are never fun, just ask the Pokemon and the Sonic fandoms how that turns out (Even though there’s no Generation number count for the Sonic franchise. You could say Gen 1 of Sonic was the classic era. Gen 2 was the Sonic Adventure Era. Gen 3 was the “Dark Age” Sonic 2006-Sonic Unleashed era. Gen 4 the Sonic Colors and Generations era. and Gen 5 the current Sonic Forces and Team Sonic Racing era. And then of course there’s also the different TV shows and comic books that also have their own fans that can be at each other’s throats).

There isn’t going to be an easy solution to something that will no doubt have fans on the edge on their seat even if they will be left to hang on that edge for a longtime before G5 starts to give some answers. I think I’ll at least bring up 3 things that will probably be part of the discussions of just what happened between G4 and G5

(More after the break)

1. AND THEN EVERYTHING CHANGED WHEN THE FIRE NATION AN UNKNOWN THREAT ATTACKED

With G4 being considered Ancient Equestria. It’s probably safe to assume this is at least 1,000 years after G4. And 1,000 or more is a really, really, long time. Where anything could of happened, including *GASP* a villain actually winning at some point (Or at least, did some lasting damage even if they were ultimately defeated). Though I think even with that possibility, there has to be a sense that the villain didn’t defeat the Mane 6 while the other members aside from Twilight were still alive. If Twilight was at some point defeated. Perhaps the villain struck when Twilight was most vulnerable. You could also have it that Twilight somehow sacrificed herself to defeat a large threat. She saved Equestria one last time, but at the cost of even her long-lasting alicorn life. With the populace left on their own to continue life without Twilight, but the loss of their longtime leader too much for Equestria. Thus a slow decline happened.

As for who the threat was it’ll probably be a while if we ever know. Perhaps the real Grogar showed up at some point and was truly a harrowing threat to deal with. Or something entirely new. Maybe it wasn’t even a villain, but a catastrophic natural disaster. Whatever it is, if this is the case. We’d have to deal with the sad thought of something being too much for even Twilight to handle

2. TWILIGHT BECAME DEPRESSED/JADED AFTER HER FRIENDS PASSED. POSSIBLY EVIL TOO?

This would basically be the cliche sadfic ending. Where after everyone of the Mane 6 has passed. Twilight just never felt the same afterward. Though I do feel like there is the slight counterpoint that maybe Twilight would still have Celestia and/or Luna (maybe, again we’ve never ever gotten full confirmation of how long Alicorns live. Just assured that it’s more then 1000 years) and she’d most certainly still have a full grown Spike and any of her friends descendants. Death is always a sad reality, but you have to wonder if Twilight would have prepared herself by the time that comes. Twilight would have not gone as far as she did without the rest of the Mane 6. But while I’m sure it would be a tearjerking moment, it’s not like Twilight wouldn’t have other friends she made throughout the generations. Celestia and Luna also must of gone through the same thing living for more then 1000 years, yet they seem pretty fine. So while the subject of “immortality blues” is prime for sadfic material in the fandom. It feels like there’d have to be more nuance then that, if this were the reason the time between G4 and G5 led into each other.

Supposedly, this theory is picking up some form of steam. To the point that a head canon is rolling around is that it was actually Twilight who sealed the magic away in the first place for one reason or another. Essentially making Twilight, in a huge plot twist, a villain in G5 or at the very least someone who took the magic with them into some form of Limbo very similar to Starswirl and the other founders during the Season 7 finale. I… personally don’t know how I’d feel about that. They’d have to be very careful with the execution of such a twist. And I’d want more nuance then simply Twilight getting sad about the deaths of her friends. At the very least, it’d likely eventually get to a point where this villainous incarnation of Twilight is reformed and probably becomes a recurring character from then on. But the writers will have to tread very carefully if this is the direction they take.

3. G5 IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSE/TIMELINE. JUST FOR THE MOST PART THE MAJOR EVENTS OF "ANCIENT EQUESTRIA" STILL HAPPENED

Perhaps this last one really gets into a more desperate side to deflect any possibility that the ending of G4 could of deteriorated into what the world becomes at the start of G5. I know there will be plenty that will be too frustrated with the lack of satisfactory answers that they annoy people in the comment sections, getting into situations where sometimes the only answer to those people will be others that just want to watch G5 as a fun show with a “cope”, “read a history book”, or “deal with it”. But honestly, there can be a case here. As I mentioned in my thoughts in the movie. There are visual details on characters and/or lore that while they may seem minor, to the point that even if they do ever answer important questions such as what caused magic to disappear and/or what happened to Alicorns like Twilight. That the staff may ignore completely because they think it’s too small of a detail to bother including. But the most nitpicky fan can and will latch on small excuses into why it can’t be the same.

Let’s begin with the one-sided Cutie Mark. Again, while it’s true that previous generations made this a tradition. And it was only on one side on the G4 toys as well, as the actual reason it was on both sides in the G4 show was because it was easier for the flash animators. That said, it’s still a big pony design inconsistency. Because regardless of it was only to make things easier, it became a staple because of how long G4 lasted. So it was still so weird to see early screenshot and artwork of G5 characters with grown ponies with no mark. When that wasn’t possible in G4, as it turned out it was because the one-sided cutie mark returned. But one side as opposed to both sides is still a significant difference. Similarly, the horns and wingtips being a different color then the coat may also be a significant difference. Of course I know it can be just waved off as art style difference, as the art direction is no longer based on what Faust wanted the ponies to look like. It’s still plausible enough for someone to discredit it as truly in continuity with G4. Cause even for those that are on the side of “More then 1000 years is a long time, anything could of happened” it’s a lot harder to argue against inconsistencies such as cutie marks only being on one side unless they switch gears to the meta explanation of “G4’s double sided cutie mark was not intentional, at least at first”. But from what most people saw in the G4 show, G4 ponies had marks on both sides. And the G5 ponies don’t. It’s again, quite nitpicky. But it’s enough to start a case that at the very least, the ancient past of G4 is not 100% the same G4 we saw in the show.

Speaking of not the same G4 we saw in the show, another possibility is that G5 actually came out of an alternate timeline. Where perhaps the last two seasons did not happen. If perhaps it’s a timeline where major events in the show either ended anywhere between the end of Season 4 or the end of Season 7, then it starts to feel a little more possible. (Supposedly, the tree of harmony in it’s Season 9 form that might counteract it. But then again it had none of the treehouse architecture and was all wood. Which ironically may lead into it leaning more that the G4 show isn’t the same continuity). If the events of the Friendship School nor everything else that leads to the ending we saw in The Last Problem. It’d be a lot more palatable because the pretty much implied world peace ending with non-ponies in the mix included is discounted. There’d still be questions even in this scenario, like did Celestia and Luna still retire in this timeline then. And regardless if they did or not, the show would still be burdened with the question of what happened to the Alicorns. But it’d at least solve the most pressing question with the peace of The Last Problem being squandered. Because perhaps in this timeline, the Mane 6 never went that far. Perhaps it would imply some sort of indirect failure in that case. But this is perhaps a scenario they had a similar foreign policy as Celestia did. Not really hostile to anyone, but not intervening even in ways that could be helpful. Heck, if we go far enough in saying that G5\s G4 (As confusing as that may sound) was different from what we saw in Friendship is Magic, what if there were differences even early on for one reason or another? With how vague the connection is, we only know that the Mane 6 were friends and Twilight still became a princess at some point. From there. potentially a lot of other things may have gone differently other then that.

Again, saying G5 is a completely different universe/timeline is probably always going to sound like a desperate way for people who cannot possibly believe the ending of G4 eventually led to the start of G5. And I’d understand why that’ll annoy people who just want to watch the G5 series on it’s own merits. But it really wouldn’t be entirely the fans to blame for that attitude. G4 lasted a whole decade, many got attached to the characters/world we saw that had about the happiest ending it could possibly be. It should naturally make people unhappy that in a few ways it’s stomping over a happy ending for this fantasy world that many watched to escape from the realities of the real world.

Even with the long time allotted of 1000+ years or more, that’s made complicated by the implied long lives of the Alicorns from G4. Only opening up that can of worms further by seemingly making Sunny an alicorn. There’s a debate on whether this form is permanent, but if it’s NOT permanent. That arguably adds yet another addition to the list of reasons it may fall out of continuity. The only time we had a temporary Alicorn transformation (outside of Animation errors, or dream sequences like Big Mac’s) was when Cozy was an Alicorn after receiving some of the magic from Grogar’s bell. But even in that case, Cozy’s wings were not more like a glowy hologram like Sunny’s wings seem to be. And even if it is permanently on Sunny now, the design for Alicorns is too different. Adding onto the one-sided cutie marks, and different colored wings and horns. So the G5 writers may actually be stuck in a lose/lose situation when it comes to Alicorns after the ending of the movie. I think whether Sunny is permanently an Alicorn or not, they may not elaborate enough about it. And it’ll be among the headaches in the comment section (Though may at least be a reprieve from the political discussions G5 are going to have on occasion I imagine.)

Hasbro chose to try to say this is the same Equestria, and a new show needs conflicts to solve. But from the perspective of some G4 fans… it forces a world they loved, to get torn down into arguably a more divided world then even the Hearth’s Warming tale. Which said tale seems to have been implied to be from before Princess Celestia and Luna were around (Based on the lore of the unicorns being the one to raise the sun and moon) and thus yes. Somehow, if everything that happened in G4 is canon to G5. Then the world peace in The Last Problem in just a thousand years or so become worse then even Celestia’s sole rule.

RESPONDING TO “READ A HISTORY BOOK”

I’ve mentioned before, you can try to point to World History to point why this is a realistic take. But again, we don’t have an ancient civilization from 1000 years ago that we look up to as the pinnacle of peace in the world (Like I said, the Golden age of Ancient Greece and/or Rome still had slavery and brutal wars). That has literally never happened. What was shown in the Last Problem very much looked like it was that for Equestria. I feel it’s a terrible interpretation of time, especially in regards to the context that the leaders of Equestria tend to live for at least more then 1000 years to imply things would just go backward like that.

CONCLUSION

The movie on it’s own merits is a good start for the generation, though at the same time. It’s going to have some hard questions that’ll often be no-win situations for the writers. They can choose to ignore the G4 questions, understandably trying to tiptoe around as many cans of worms as possible which would allow them to do whatever the heck they want with G5. Maybe even getting a few stragglers frustrated with no answers to just shrug and continue watching anyway if the show entertains them enough. Or they can certainly try to at least give some answers on the biggest questions (What happened to the magic, and/or what was the fate of G4’s alicorns) but risk having an answer that just adds even more questions.

The movie is a decent start for a new generation if you only view it as a pilot for a new series, but if you view it as a sequel to Friendship is Magic. There are certainly problematic issues with that currently. Maybe the special in Spring, or the eventual Series will cover some of this but it does leave fans waiting a while for answers that they’re not promised to get, or at least not as quickly as they’d like. Remember when I mentioned that I may view some of this similarly to how I was about Starlight Glimmer after her sudden redemption at the end of Season 5? With many questions I wanted to know about Starlight before I could really accept her as a recurring character? (And not really fully coming into terms with her until I expanded on her myself in a story for I Dream of Twilight Sparkle) This may be how I have to view the connection of G4 and G5.

They can go one of two routes: At least try to give as much of a clear explanation as possible. Even if it’s one that doesn’t exactly answer everything, at least giving a good try may help with those who have questions remaining in relation to G4. If instead however, they go the Season 6 Starlight route of just about ignoring all the questions fans have, it’ll make things frustrating for many. At least with Starlight, she wasn’t the major focus in every episode. That said, Season 6’s job was to endear us more to her reformed character. Now with G5’s setup, it may be running well into a corner where they must try to answer what happened in between G4 and G5 or else you end up making a lot of fans lukewarm or worse to your series. Starlight’s reformation and then lack of ability of Season 6 to explain more about Starlight to us was a divisive moment. And G5 involving G4 brings over the same kind of feeling but on a larger scale because now it’s in the very premise of the generation’s plot, it’s less avoidable compared to one character. Because even when it comes to episodes that will not further the plot and it’s just a fun friendly moment between the members of the mane 5, this movie is how they met and thus the not fully explained premise would always be looming over like a large shadow. It probably doesn’t help that they’re basically starting with a reformed Starlight-esque moment when it comes to introducing it’s premise AND on top of that something similar although certainly with at least a lot less backlash then with Alicorn Twilight since it came so soon. Though I do have to think there will be people who think this was way too soon to be ascending Sunny, since at least we got to see Twilight’s journey to Alicornhood (Even if you weren’t a fan of the episode she ascended in). Sunny arguably does earn her Alicornhood through implied years of working to unite the ponies. But it can still feel too soon when you had 2 1/2 seasons worth of episodes before Twilight did, while Sunny did so within one movie.

Someone’s ultimate thoughts on G5 might end up being what they are looking for in this new generation. If they’re looking for just about everything new. The movie provides plenty of that with new characters, new locations, and a more modernized world compared to G4 Equestria (Even if G4 Equestria had it’s own fair share of electronics it looked like, such as video game machines). If you’re in this for the G4 references. Aside from the very beginning of the movie, you’re kind of stuck doing a where’s waldo for most of the movie. And no guarantees you’ll get much more then that later. As I said in the trailer thoughts, the G4 stuff could very much be just Hasbro trying to bake it’s cake and eat it too. With a world that feels like it should be it’s own thing, but they didn’t want to commit entirely to that. So they shoehorn G4 in as the ancient past without giving a proper explanation to how point A (the end of G4) got to point B (the start of G5). It’s only been about a week since the movie premiered, but there is just so much to digest. And for those looking for answers to the G4 elephant in the room, may feel like they get nothing but metaphorical tummy aches for a long time.

I’ll end this off by having a message to both people who already feel like they’ll be fans of G5, as well as people like me who were fans of G4 and have concerns about where G5 may be doing to it’s legacy.

For the G5 fans, as I mentioned in the trailer thoughts. I still hope that it turns out ultimately good. I don’t know where things will go from here but the G5 movie taking in context that it’s basically a really long series premiere, had some genuinely enjoyable moments. At the same time, I hope anyone in the G5 fanbase can try to understand why G4 fans have the concerns that they do. I’ll repeat, G4 lasted a decade and was the absolute peak of MLP’s popularity. There will be a lot of people attached to that world, and understandably upset about the implication that it got torn down into how the world is at the start of G5. If they’re really annoying about it, I can understand why you couldn’t hold the urge to snap at them to “Get over it” just try not to snap at the ones who are just asking curiously. I’m personally not going to spam comment threads with “THIS DOESN’T FIT WITH G4!” or “HASBRO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS PLEASE”, but I would be lying if I were to say I’m not just as curious about what those type of fans want to know too.

And as for G4 fans like me, if G5 ever upsets you in some fashion. It’s ok to stop watching and just stay quiet whenever you find yourself in a conversation about G5 and only participate in G4 matters in the fandom. This is a natural evolution of a fandom’s lifecycle where eventually a direction a franchise is taken to a place some others don’t like. So you’re only left to mainly talk with those who prefer an older generation and/or incarnation. Just because G5 has started and even though Hasbro says it’s the same world as G4. You can still do G4 content by itself and ignore G5. If you still have the inclination to do stuff with G4, do it. Generation 5 is not stopping people from still drawing the G4 characters, or writing more stories about them, or even if you don’t feel you’re that creative. Support artists who are still drawing G4 ponies, and/or rewatch some of your favorite episodes of Friendship is Magic that give you a smile. MLP has lasted since the 80s, and while for the most part to Hasbro it’s to sell toys. Toys, and the shows surrounding them’s purpose is to make the people watching or playing with them smile. From the little girls in the 80s to the much more diverse both gender-wise and age-wise fandom that came out of G4. The cute ponies are supposed to make us happy, and it’s ok to get back into a comfort zone if perhaps a different part of Ponies don’t give you the same feeling or even upset you in some way. Also as a vice versa to my message to G5 fans, try as best you can not to provoke those enjoying G5. If the G5 movie and/or episodes makes them as happy as your favorite G4 episodes/movies you should let them be. Many of us had to deal with that crap just for daring liking a pony show at all early on in the fandom. Try not to add to the toxicity as best you can. G4 is not going to be forgotten, the fact Hasbro decided to try to make it in the same universe actually has the side effect of making sure of that. Cause maybe you have fans that enter the MLP franchise through G5 curious about what happened in the past. And thus, they can be led to watch the previous generation. New G5 fans could potentially also become new G4 fans and friends. In other words, friendship… is still magic!

[storytellingfandom]

Calculators and Key Changes 

Summary: Kazami blew into Republic City High like a hurricane. The students loved her, she changed how the arts program was run and rose it out of the ashes. She got along with most all of the staff, that is, except for one. 

Lin would give her props for saving the arts program, but that’s as far as it went. The failed opera singer was obviously looking for what she’d see as an “easy” gig to get her back in the papers and then abandon her students. And she wasn’t going to offer praise for a one trick pony. 

But when things shift, when there’s an understanding, can their students push the two titans of the school together to find their own happiness?

A/N: This is a completely self indulgent high school AU. I tried to write it in second person POV, but it didn’t flow well so it is third person with it being Lin x OC. Many props go to @kuvirasbrat for helping me get this shaped though <3 

Word count: 1976

Pulling into the school’s parking lot, the sun had just started to rise and the soft glow was caught in the windows in the early autumn light. Bright blue eyes took in the colors as she pulled into the school parking lot and settled her car into her normal parking spot near her choir room. Turning the car off, Kazumi Ikeda sat in her car for a moment and sipped her vanilla chai latte a little bit longer. 

She loved her early morning ensemble kids. The ones who were willing to get up early, go through music reading bootcamp, and audition for this class. The ones who not only enjoyed the music, but felt it through their being. 

With a sigh, she opened her car door and grabbed her bag. Setting her latte on top of the car for a second, she reached in and grabbed a second bag with her materials for her music theory and history classes later on that day. Shouldering it, she grabbed her latte again before making her way into the school. 

The start of a new year was always fun, at least it was after the first week. Waving to some of the other teachers that had sold their souls for early morning advanced groups, she slipped into her classroom and into her office. Switching the light on, she dropped her bag full of her materials on her desk and her purse into a drawer. Bringing her keys with her, she tossed them on the piano as she went over the music they’d be starting today. 

At least these copies didn’t have fucking equations hiding what key it was in. 

When Kazumi had started at Republic City High after a successful career in opera, the one person in the school that seemed to want to see her fall on her face was Lin Beifong. When she’d started, the woman made damn sure she knew what she thought of her. Barbs were sniped on both sides from that day forward. Barbs turned into more though when Lin made it almost impossible for some of her students to leave for competitions that they were needed on. 

And she wasn’t about to let that go by unnoticed. 

Finding out Lin liked to be in school just as early as she did, she kept her doors opened for practice, pressing keys harder than they needed to be so that the piano music would disturb the woman in whatever she was doing. 

Lin retaliated in stealing things she needed for her other class. The projector was never there when she needed, she never got to show movies unless it was on the older tvs. 

Kazumi didn’t take equipment, she understood what Lin’s job was and what was needed, instead she gathered the help of her students. Band kids offering their drum lines for a song that just had to have them. Sopranos doing what they did best and rang out louder than they needed to. 

The next time she’d changed her music for her students, she found her music coded in math equations which meant she had to solve them in order to figure out the key signature. Which meant going in search of a different math teacher to help her solve it properly since of course Beifong was a genius in overly complicated mathematics. 

Two years had passed and by now it was school tradition. You either sided with Beifong or Ikeda. Students offered ways for the women to get back at each other. Competitive sides fought over top marks in it. Anything from fundraisers, pep rallies, games, it all became a competition for which teacher would have the top group or would bring out the most from them. 

This year though, Kazumi found herself over the idea of this silly thing. Over the summer, she’d lost a dear friend in a terrible accident and the competition suddenly seemed so trivial. 

She doubted Lin would cooperate but maybe she could at least pull some of the stick that seemed to be shoved up the other’s arse out. 

Shaking her head, Kazumi made sure the side braid she’d fashioned that morning was still in place before going to open the door to her classroom. Smiling when she saw Asami standing outside the door, she motioned in the young woman before setting the door hold in place. 

“Good morning, Miss Sato. Did you have a good weekend?” Kazumi asked, following her back into the room. 

“Yeah, I mostly got to work with the new engineering teacher on an after school group that will start up hopefully this week.” Asami answered, setting her bag near the risers before moving to grab her music folder.

“That’s great, Asami! You’ve been working on that for about six months haven’t you?” Kazumi asked, moving to sit at the piano to plunk out a tune. 

“Yeah, I’m really hoping that others will be interested so that the school let’s it stay.” Asami answered walking over to the piano. 

“Well if I can do anything let me know.” Kazumi answered, reaching for her coffee with one hand to sip on. 

As the other kids started to file in, she greeted each one in kind. For the ones that were returning, she knew details of their lives. Their siblings, relationship with parents, their hopes and aspirations, little things as well like their favorite shows or what they were up to outside of school. 

It was why the kids always seemed to connect to her. 

“Ms. Ikeda?” One of the kids called out, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

“Huh? Oh! Sorry guys, let’s get started.” Kazumi announced starting into the familiar tunes of their warm ups. One blue eye caught the open door though and she paused. An olive branch. “Bolin, will you shut the door for me, please?”

Eyes went wide at the request but the boy stumbled over himself to pull the door closed. Poking his head out as he did so, he offered Beifong a wave before pulling the doors closed and shutting in the music. 

An eyebrow went up seeing Bolin pulling the door shut. That was new. Normally Kazumi made it a point to leave the door open. Leave it so that the voices of their shared students filled the hallways. Way too damn early if you asked her. Especially the sopranos. 

She was sure her forehead had become permanently imprinted with things such as her stapler or paper clips from the times she’d beat her head into her desk at the incessant noise. 

But now the hallways were quiet. The voices were muffled, not flowing through, leaving the halls quiet and stagnant. The rest of the student population wouldn’t be here for another hour or so yet, and now all of a sudden, Lin found herself almost missing the sound of music in the hallways. 

Not that she’d ever tell her that. 

Draping her jacket over the back of her chair, Lin shook out the silk black blouse, making sure the cuffs were setting properly on her wrists. The charcoal grey slacks coming to a tapered cuff just above her ankles to reveal the small heel she wore. Steel grey hair pulled back into a bun, and makeup light and never more than needed. 

Precise, angled, and too put together. 

Reaching her her coffee, Lin sipped it quietly. Bitter in her mouth, the dark liquid was the opposite of what the choir director drank. Black, with only minimal sugar allowed in. Maybe she’d been a little harsh on the other woman. She’d been an accomplished opera singer from what she’d heard, something happened though and now here she was teaching. It felt like the story where she’d gotten a bad review and tucked tail to run. 

Whatever the case, maybe the closed choir room door was a peace offering of some kind, and while Lin highly doubted they’d be friends, being civil did have certain appeals. 

*********

Lunch time in high school was always a fascinating set of traditions. Friend circles grew, they shrunk, they included people Kazumi would never expect. They were fascinating. However, they were only as fascinating as that when she didn’t forget her granola bar sitting on her dining room table. Like she had that morning. Her lunch wasn’t for another couple of hours. This was fine. 

Wandering between the tables, she waved at those that called out their greeting and paused when she heard others call her over for questions. 

“Hey, Ms. Ikeda?” A student called out to her. 

“Hey Ayama, what’s up?” Kazumi asked, walking over to her table. 

“You studied literature for a while, right? I’m taking Mr. Kogarashi’s history of religion class and this text is so....empty of anything that I can’t figure it out.” Ayama answered, looking up hopefully. 

“Ahh, I’ve heard rumors of his class. He does seem like one to assign those. Here, let me see the passage.” Kazumi answered and reached for the text. Tenzin really did pick the worst things for kids to read for class, no wonder the kids skipped. 

It was perched on one of the tables going over a reading section with one of their students that Lin found her. Part of her dark brown hair in a side braid leaving the rest to fall around her shoulders. Elbows resting on her knees, the sun catching her toffee colored skin and showed off the warm undertones, catching the blue of her eyes that were lost in the book. While she wore tailored jeans and the sleeveless linen blouse that was tucked under a deep red cardigan jacket. 

Wait, since when did she notice these things? 

Shaking her head, she walked over to her normal spot, listening to Kazumi point out different imagery points and where she could connect them to the historic points that Tenzin deemed more important than others. A gentle hand on the students shoulders, and she was easing herself off the table. 

Heeled boots guided Kazumi over to Lin, offering her a tentative smile as she came to stand with her. “Lin.” 

“Kazumi.” 

“You hear about the updates for the library?” 

“Yeah, they have a new section for practical mathematics. Maybe the kids will see it’s used everyday.” Lin shrugged, her arms folded across her chest. Looking over, she noticed that the other woman didn’t have the normal granola bar that she’d eat during this time. “Don’t you usually have a bar or something?”

“Huh? Oh. Normally yes, but it’s currently making use of itself on my dining room table.” Kazumi shrugged, eyes straying over to the normal trouble makers. “I’ll be fine though.” 

“You have the later lunch.” Lin pointed out, raising her brow. “You’ll be miserable by then.” 

“I’ll be fine. Really.” Kazumi answered, confused as to why Lin seemed to make such a big deal out of it when they were barely speaking. 

Sighing, Lin broke her granola bar in half and handed one side of it to Kazumi. “Here. I’ll never hear the end of it if I saw you before you pass out from low blood sugar.” 

Eyeing the other woman, seafoam blue eyes looked on the other for a long moment before she took it from her. “Thanks.”

*******

The moment hadn’t gone unnoticed by the students who watched with large eyes as Lin passed the choir director part of her granola bar. Nor had the fact they’d been standing and having a civil conversation for more than ten seconds. 

“Do you think…” 

“I don’t know. She never shares food like that!” 

“Are they still talking?”

“It looks like it.” 

“Did Ikeda just smile at Beifong?!” 

“She definitely did.” 

“You know what this means? 

“Beikeda finally sails?”

“Definitely. Asami, you get the coffees tomorrow?”

“On it.” 

“Gotta start small. But we can do this guys. Let’s pay them back for everything they do.”

[cctinsleybaxter]

2020 in books

2020 was a year of changed reading habits; people reading more than ever or not at all, some changing their tastes and others turning to old comforts. While there weren’t any huge overhauls on my end, more free time did mean a total of 32 in a wider range of genres. In the past couple of years I found a lot of the things I read to be kind of middling and ranked them accordingly, but this year had some strong contenders in the mix. With college officially behind me I love nonfiction again, and I really need to stop being drawn in by novels with long titles that ‘sound interesting.’ A piece of advice to my future self: they will only make you angry.

The Good

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky I loved the BBC radio play when I first listened to it back in 2017, but didn’t know if I could stomach the idea of actually reading the 700-page book, especially since I already knew the plot (spoiler alert: this had no effect and I gasped multiple times despite knowing what was going to happen; Fyodor’s just that good at atmosphere.) The story follows Prince Lev Myshkin, a goodhearted but troubled man entering 1860s Petersburg high society and meeting all of the wretched people therein as he navigates life, laughs, love, unanswerable questions of faith, and human suffering. I care about it in the same way I think other people care about reality TV shows and soap operas. I’m so personally invested in the drama and feel so many different emotions directed at these clowns that it’s like being a fan of Invitation to Love (with an ending equally upsetting to that of the show ITL is from, Twin Peaks.)

Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlanksy I adored this book. The first half reads a little like a Wikipedia article, and I was worried that it was leaning too clinical and would be disaffected with colonialism and indigenous peoples, but even that oversight is corrected for as the text goes on. It’s not going to be for everybody because it really is just the world’s longest encyclopedia entry on, well, salt, but it’s written with such excitement for the topic and is so well-researched and styled for commercial nonfiction that I think it deserves any and all praise it’s gotten. We have to talk about that time Cheshire was literally sinking into the ground, and companies who were over-pumping brine water to steal each other’s brine water said ‘no it’s okay it’s supposed to that’ so were legally dismissed as suspects.

Midnight Cowboy by James Leo Herlihy Cried. 10/10. The plot of Midnight Cowboy is very classic and actually has a lot in common with The Idiot, as 20-something Joe Buck moves from the American Southwest to NYC and meets myriad challenges as a sex worker. I’ve been obsessed with the movie for a few years now and the book made me appreciate it anew; I think it’s rare for an adaptation to take the risk of being so different from its source material while still capturing its spirit. The movie doesn’t include quieter moments like the full conversation with Towny or time spent in the X-flat, nor does it attempt to touch Joe’s internal monologue or his and Rico’s extensive backstories, but these things are essential to the book and are some of the best and most affecting writing I’ve ever read. Finally! The Great American Novel!

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones I would firmly like to say that this is probably the best horror novel ever written. The setup is very traditional in that it’s about a group of friends facing supernatural comeuppance for a past mistake, but delivery on that premise is anything but familiar. A story about personal and cultural trauma that raises questions about what we owe to each other and what it means to be Blackfeet, with a cast that’s unbelievably real and sympathetic even at their absolute worst. Creepypasta writers trying to cash in on the cultural mythos of lumped-together tribes wish they were capable of writing something a tenth as gruesome and good as this. It could very well be a movie the visuals and writing style were so arresting, and I can’t wait to read whatever Jones writes next.

Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas This is the least accessible title on the list since it’s a college textbook for people with background in film, but it was so nice to read a woman unpacking film theory with the expertise and confidence it deserves that I have to rank it among the best. I had an absolute blast reading it and am going to have to stop myself from bringing up the horror of 1960s safety films as a cocktail icebreaker.

Blood in the Water: The Attica Prison Uprising of 1971 and Its Legacy by Heather Ann Thompson

The year’s toughest read by far, but also its most rewarding. Thompson uses mountains of documents, government-buried intel, and personal interviews to explain what happened at Attica from beginning to end, and does a fantastic job of balancing hard facts and ‘unbiased journalism’ with much-needed emotion and critical analysis. It’s more important reading in the 2020s than any kind of ‘why/how to not be racist’ book club book is going to be, and the historical context it provides is as interesting as it is invaluable. The second half drags a bit in going through lengthy trial processes with some assumed baseline knowledge of legalese (which I did not have. All that criminal minds in 2015… meaningless), but aside from that editing and prose are some of the best I’ve seen in nonfiction. 

The Bad

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn A friend and I decided to read this together because I’m obsessed with how insane the author is and wanted to know if he can actually write.

He cannot.

The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All by Laird Barron Barron is an indie darling of the horror fiction scene, so I was excited to finally read one of his collections but can now attest that I hate him. If you’re going to do Lovecraft please deconstruct Lovecraft in an interesting way. I had actually written a lot about the issues I have with how he develops characters and plots, but one of the only shorthand notes I took was “he won’t stop saying ‘bole’ instead of tree trunk” and I feel like that’s the only review we need.

Bats of the Republic by Zach Dodson Look up a photo of this author because if I had bothered to glance at the jacket bio I honest-to-god wouldn’t have even tried reading this.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone I went in with high expectations since this is an epistolary novella I’d seen praised on tumblr and youtube but oh my god was there a reason I was seeing it praised on tumblr and youtube. This is bad Steven Universe fanfiction. Both authors included ‘listening to the Steven Universe soundtrack throughout’ in the acknowledgements, and to add insult to injury there’s a plug from my nemesis Madeline Miller.

The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton The premise of this one plays with so many tropes I like that I should have been more suspicious. It’s a dinner party with stock characters one would expect of Clue, and rather than our protagonist being the detective he’s a man with amnesia stuck in a 24-hour time loop. Body-hopping between guests, he must gather evidence using the skillsets of each ‘host’ until he either solves Evelyn Hardcastle’s murder or the limit of eight hosts runs out. I read a lot of not-very-good books, and it’s so, so much worse when they have potential to be fun. This is how you lose the most points, and how I abandon decorum and end up writing a list of grievances: • Our protagonist can only inhabit male hosts, which I think is a stupid writing decision not because I’m ‘woke’ but because wouldn’t it make sense for him to also be working with the maids, cooks, and women close to the murder victim? • Complaining about the limitations of hosts makes some sense (e.g- there’s a section where he thinks that it’s hard to be an old man because it’s difficult to get to the places he needs to be quickly), but one of his hosts is a rapist and one of his hosts is fat. Guess which one gets complained about more. • One of the later hosts is just straight-up a cop with cop knowledge that singlehandedly solves the case. We spend some time being like ‘wow I couldn’t have done it without the info all eight hosts helped gather’ but it was 100% the detective and he solves the murder using information he got off-screen. • The mystery itself is actually well-paced and I didn’t have a lot of issues with it (e.g, there’s a twist that I guessed only shortly before the end), which makes it all the worse that the metanarrative of this book is INSANE. No spoilers but the reveal as to why our unnamed protagonist is even in this situation is stupid. I just know they’re going to make it into a movie and I’m preemptively going to aaaaaaaaa!!!

Trust Exercise by Susan Choi The fact that this was the worst book I read all year, worse even than the bad Steven Universe fanfiction, and it won multiple awards makes my blood boil. I could rant about it for hours but just know that it’s a former theater kid’s take on perception and memory, and deals with sexual abuse in a way that’s handled both very badly and with a level of fake deepness that’s laughable. Select fake-deep quotes I copied down because at one point I said ‘oh barf’ aloud: -I’m filled with melancholy that’s almost compassion. It’s sad the same way. -[On a friendship ending] We almost never know what we know until after we know it. -Because we’re none of us alone in this world. We injure each other.

There are also bad sex scenes that I can’t quite make fun of because I think (HOPE?) they’re supposed to be a melodramatic take on how teenagers view sex, but I very much wanted to die. Flowers were alluded to. Nipples were compared to diamonds.

Honorable/Dishonorable Mentions (categorized as the same thing because, well,)

The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North This book was frustrating because the first third of it is fantastic. It’s set up to be a takedown of the manic pixie dream girl trope, jumping from person to person discussing their relationship with the titular Sophie, and indirectly revealing that she was just some girl and not the difficult and mysterious genius they all believed her to be. Then in the third act, BAM! She was that difficult and mysterious genius and she’s now indirectly brought all the people from her past together. I wanted to scream the plot beefed it so bad, but the good news is I really liked this octopus description.

It was the size of a three-year-old child, and it seemed awful to me that something could be so far from human and obviously want something as badly as it wanted to get out of the tank.

Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore Cool new nightmare speedrun strat is to hear a 2-second anecdote from a documentary that people used to get radium poisoning from painting watch faces, be curious enough that you buy a book to learn more, and be met with medical and legal horror beyond anything you could have imagined. This was almost one of my favorite books of the year! Almost.

Radium Girls is very lovingly crafted and incredibly well-researched; one of those things that’s hard to get through but that you want to read sections of again as soon as you’ve finished. The umbrage I take with it is that it’s very Catholic. The author and many of her subjects are Irish and their religion is important to them, but it casts a martyr-y narrative over the whole thing that I found uncomfortable. Seventeen-year-old girls taking a factory job they didn’t know was dangerous are framed as brave, working-class heroes, but there’s not a set moral lesson to be gained from this story. Sarah Maillefer didn’t make “a sacrifice” when she agreed to the first radium tests, she agreed because she was terrified. She didn’t think she was helping she was begging for help.

The Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins by Anna Tsing Tsing is an incredibly skilled researcher and ethnographer; there are so many good ideas in this book that I’d almost consider it essential leftist text… if I could stand the way it was structured. Tsing posits that because nature is built on precariousness she will build her book the same way, allowing it to grow like a mushroom, and thus chapters don’t progress linearly and are written more like freeform poetry than a series of academic arguments. Some people are really going to love that, but I’m me and a mushroom is a mushroom and a book is a book. I don’t think in the way Tsing does, and while I tried to keep an open mind it’s hard to play along when something is this academically dense and makes so many ambitious claims. As if to prove how different our structuring methods are, I’ve made my own thoughts into a pros and cons list

Things I liked: • ‘Contamination’ as something inherent to diversity • ‘Scalability’ as a flawed way of thinking (Tsing has written whole essays about this that I find very compelling, but a main example here is that China and the US have come down on Japanese matsutake research for being too ‘site specific’ and not yielding enough empirical data) • Discussing how Americans were so invested in self-regulating systems in the 1950s we thought they could be applied to literally everything, including ecosystems • “The survivors of war remind us of the bodies they climbed over- or shot- to get to us. We don’t know whether to love or hate the survivors. Simple moral judgements don’t come to hand.” • Any and all fieldwork Tsing shares is amazing; I especially liked reading about the culture of mushroom pickers living in the Cascades and their contained market system

Things I didn’t like: • Statements that sound deep but aren’t, e.g- “help is always in the service of another.” (Yep. That’s what that means. Unless an organism is doing something to help itself which then nullifies your whole opening argument.) • A very debatable definition of utilitarianism • “Capitalism vs pre-capitalism,” which seems like an insanely black-and-white stance for a book all about finding hidden middle ground • A chapter I found really interesting about how intertwined Japanese and American economies are, but it tries to cover the entire history of US-Japan relations. Seriously, starting with Governor Perry and continuing through present day, this could have been a whole different book and it’s a good example of what I mean when I say arguments feel too scattered (the conclusion it reaches is that in the 80s the yen was finally able to hold its own against the dollar. Just explain that part.) • A chapter arguing that ‘true biological mutualism’ is rarely a focus of STEM and is a new sociological development/way of thinking which is just… flat-out not true

For all the comparisons art gets to ‘being on a drug trip’ this anthropology textbook has come the closest for me. Moments of profound human wisdom, intercut with things I had trouble understanding because I wasn’t on the same wavelength, intercut with even more things that felt false or irrelevant. I can’t put it on the nice list but I am glad I read it.

[midnightartemis]

Chapter One

The call came suddenly like it always did. A new home. A new foster parent. A new school. At least this time I would be starting right at the beginning of the year. That was easier. I could work with that. I only hoped that this one would last.

I had my small bag of things packed within five minutes and I sat waiting anxiously on the edge of my government-issued co-housing bed. I wondered what shitty luck the universe had decided to drop on me this time.

It wasn’t that I was a bad kid. I tried to keep my head low, my grades high… it’s just that I usually got the short stick when it came to foster parents. The bad eggs. The abusers who somehow slipped through the cracks of the shitshow that is the United States child protective services.

It had become some sort of sick game for me. I move into a new home and it’s okay for a few days, weeks even. Then the abuse would start and I would start gathering evidence. When I had enough I’d wait until a particularly bad day to call the cops, drop the evidence, and get their licenses revoked.

I was a survivor. I could take the punches, the days without food, the yelling, and everything in between, but others couldn’t.

I check my watch and grab my bag. Time to go. My caseworker and house mom are waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. My caseworker is a tall, skinny woman with white-blond hair and a kind face. She tried her best, she really did. It wasn’t her fault I always found the worst homes. My house mom, known affectionately as Aunt Z, was much the opposite, short, large, and with a permanent scowl on her face. I also couldn’t blame her for that. She had to deal with all the girls who came through. I had only known her for two months, but that was long enough to know that she had a big heart. My heart hurts a little at the thought of leaving her, but I had very little control over where they sent me. Miss Holdo, my caseworker, breaks into a huge grin at the sight of me. “Miss Niima! All ready to go?”

I nod. It wasn’t like I had much of a choice.

“Girls,” Aunt Z barks. “Get in here and say goodbye to Rey.”

I bite my lip. I didn’t want a big send-off. I hardly knew most of the girl’s names. I only ever talked to most of them at group therapy sessions. It was better to not get attached. One by one, they trailed in. There were six of us in total. Most of them mumbled a goodbye and slunk back out of the room, but Ara raced up to hug me with tears in her eyes. She was the youngest of the group and had grown attached to me over the course of the summer. I hugged her back.

“It’s okay. I’ll make sure to text you and visit if I can.” She sniffled back her tears and I ruffled her red hair.

“Alright, time's a-wastin. On with you.” Aunt Z grumbled but affectionately patted my shoulder. It was her version of a hug.

Miss Holdo smiled and I followed her out the door, chatting as we walked to the car. “I think I found a good one, Rey.” Her eyes were a little guilty. “We’ve had really good success with her in the past. She only takes cases like yours and as soon as she saw your profile, she called me to ask about you.”

Great. I tried to hold back that flicker of hope in my subconscious. I had gotten my hopes up before and, yet, here I was again. I got in the passenger seat of Miss Holdo’s car and immediately took a piece of gum from the container on her dashboard. She started the car and I buckled up. She handed me the AUX cord as she always did.

I plugged the cord into my beat-up iPhone and started scrolling through my songs. Hozier sounded good. “Where are we headed?”

“Not far, just an hour. Republic.”

Republic. I had never been. New school. New people. New everything, then. Okay. “And this foster mom?”

“Unmarried. A bit older, in her fifties. She seemed very nice and very interested in you. She runs a tavern on the northeast side of town by the river.”

I frown. “Is she going to make me work there?”

“No. She told me that she likes to keep her work separate from her home life, especially when there is alcohol involved. She let me check her cupboards. There’s not a drop of alcohol in that house, Rey.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay.”

“I did a super thorough inspection. Even called her previous cases. They all stayed with her until they came of age. I really think this could be a good fit for you, Rey.”

In other words- don’t fuck it up. All I wanted was to put my head down and get through junior year in peace. “If you say so.”

We drive in silence. I look out the window watching the town of Jakku, Vermont slide away into the past. Holdo is bobbling along to the music and I close my eyes, soaking it in.

It’s late afternoon when Republic appears in front of us. Worn down houses and trailer parks line the streets of the southside. There are sketchy gas stations and abandoned storefronts. People sit on their porches and stand on corners, their eyes watching Holdo’s sleek black car as we drive past. I’m waiting for her to put her blinker on and turn off the main road towards one of the broken-down houses or parks, but she keeps going. The cracked sidewalks get a little nicer, the storefronts, less abandoned. We pass through two stoplights and then we’re crossing over a river and a trainyard. This side of the river, the houses are nicer, many of them newly renovated. We pass through a downtown shopping area filled with little boutiques, an ice cream shop, an old fashioned movie theater, a coffee shop. It’s quaint, perfect. “I think you missed your turn.”

Miss Holdo laughs. “Nope.”

Shit. Well, okay. I’d dealt with rich fosters before. It didn’t end well for them. Let’s just say that the dad was a little too hands-on. The anxiety is back in my chest. I worry my lip between my teeth. The downtown area slowly morphs into old historic houses and residential housing.

“I want to show you your new school first.” She seems much too excited. We keep driving until the historic houses have turned into rows of newer developments and gated communities. She takes a turn and we pull into the parking lot of a huge tan building. New Republic High School is marked on the side in large silver block letters. The front is filled with huge windows and the inside looks incredibly new and clean with white walls and wide stairs and solid oak doors leading to classrooms and offices.

I raise my eyebrows and Miss Holdo chuckles at my shocked look. “I know. It’s huge. Some of the best teachers in the state work here. They were very impressed with your transcripts, especially with everything you’ve been through. They still want you to take some placement tests, but they’re excited to have you.”

“Oh, okay.” I think I’m in shock, just a little bit. It all seemed too good to be true. Everything was completely different from the shitty schools in Jakku.

“Oh, shoot. We better go, I don’t want you to be late to meet her.” Holdo sped us out of the parking lot and back towards town. We pass by the new developments and into the historic district. We turn down a tree-lined road filled with huge Victorian, Colonial, and 1920s style houses. Everything seems picturesque, each lawn trimmed and cared for, the vines perfectly placed. Holdo slows and we pull up in front of a tiny 1920s bungalow. I breathe a little sigh of relief that it’s not one of the giant houses that flank either side. There’s a huge, old oak tree out front, a little brick path leads to the steps of the porch. There’s a light on. A white swinging bench is hung from the porch roof. The siding is painted almost a teal, seafoam green-blue with white trim. Flowers line the house and there’s a seashell wind chime hanging from the porch. My nerves make my stomach twist.

Holdo turns off the car and we get out. She grabs her bag of paperwork and we start up the path. I’m holding my breath as we climb the stairs of the porch and Miss Holdo knocks on the door.

“Oh! One second, one second! I’m here.” The door swings open and I look down at the smallest woman I think I’ve ever seen. She can’t be more than four-six, four-seven. I tower over her at five-eight. Her eyes are huge behind her round, black, thick-framed glasses. Her grey hair is coiffed perfectly and she’s dressed like she’s been working in the garden all day. I smile. She opens her screen door and beckons us in. “Come in, please. I hope you’re hungry. I made burgers on the grill. It’s such a nice day out and I couldn’t resist. Oh, where are my manners? You must be Rey. I’m Maz. Maz Kanata. I would prefer Maz over Mrs. Kanata, but,” she clicks her tongue. “I’ll also take ma.”

I’m completely overwhelmed. I glance at Miss Holdo and she shrugs. The door opens straight into the living room which is filled with an eclectic assortment of chairs and a couch. Art hangs on almost every surface and there’s a small TV over the fireplace. It’s warm and inviting if a bit chaotic. A set of stairs leads up to a second floor. We follow Maz through the living room and into a large kitchen. Everything seems like it was pulled out of a vintage magazine and cobbled together with love and color. There’s theory to the chaos. An archway leads to a dining room with a huge colorful table and none of the chairs match. A door in the kitchen leads to another porch outside. This one isn’t covered, but it overlooks the backyard. I can’t help but gasp at it. Stone paths circle raised garden beds. There are a hoop house and a pond and a bench beside a huge fir tree surrounded by flowerbeds. It’s beautiful. What the hell is happening?

There’s a table on the porch beside a grill and it’s been set for three. Maz hurries over. She’s awfully fast for an old woman. “Sit, sit. Please. I wasn’t sure if either of you were vegetarians, so I made some bean burgers that can make even a carnivore cry.”

I smile and take a seat. Shock. Yep. Definitely in shock. What’s the catch? Maz builds our burgers and piles our plates high with chips and fresh fruits and vegetables. She pours us a glass of lemonade each and finally, takes a seat. I hesitate, looking between Holdo and Maz, unsure of the protocol. Everyone was different. Maz's huge eyes glance at my plate. “Well, eat up, hun. You’re as skinny as a stick.”

I eagerly dig in and moan. It’s so good. “This is the best burger I’ve ever had.”

“Good. I’ll teach you how to make them. Now, business is best discussed over a good meal, let’s get on with all the legal mumbo-jumbo.” Maz winks at me and I giggle to myself. She was definitely different, like no foster I’d met before.

“Right.” Miss Holdo wipes her fingers on a napkin and pulls out my case file. It was far too thick and I glance at Maz, but she didn't seem fazed. Right. She would have seen it. “Miss Niima is to remain in your care for the foreseeable future. She will be taking classes at New Republic High, as we discussed. We will have weekly check-ins in person for the first two months. And if all parties are comfortable after those two months, we will move to bi-monthly check-ins until Miss Niima turns of age on October 13th, 2021, one year and two months from now. Miss Niima will also continue to go to group therapy sessions once a week with the local therapist. I believe you’ve already contacted him and gotten an introduction session set up?”

“Oh, yes.” Maz pulls a card out of her pocket. “Here’s the number and the date and time of the appointment.” She looks at me. “Wednesday afternoon, once you get out of school. But, we can schedule around any after school activities you want to take on.”

“After school activities?” My jaw drops. I’d never been given the opportunity.

“Oh yes, they have a billion different little groups and teams there. I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“Okay.” Holdo grins. “All I need for you to do is sign and Rey is in your care.”

I sign and then Maz signs. It didn’t take a lot for me to sign my life away. It was signed away a long time ago. This wouldn’t last, it never did.

“Now.” Maz folds her hands together. “I like to set down my expectations for you in front of your caseworker so that we can all be on the same page. If that’s okay?”

Again, not like I have much of a choice. I nod, curious to know. “Yeah. Yes.”

“School comes first. You can get a job if you want to, but you have to keep up your grades. Judging by your past transcripts though, that won’t be much of a problem, but I know that junior year comes with a lot of stress. I will make sure that you are safe, fed, and clothed. It’s up to you how you want to take my hospitality. I’ll hold you responsible for your actions, and breaking rules will have consequences. All the rules are posted on the fridge and you are welcome to discuss them with me at any time if you would like to amend them or add more. Okay?”

I nod.

“School night curfew is 10 pm. For every time you’re more than five minutes late, that curfew will be moved up by fifteen minutes. Weekends, we will start at 11 pm and go from there. There’s also a list of chores you’ll have to complete. They’re designed to help you become a self-sufficient adult. So, you’ll do your own laundry and clean your own room and dishes. You’ll also help me cook and work in the garden on the weekends. But,” Maz’s large eyes go very serious, and I still myself for the catch. “Above all, I want you to build relationships and trust. Trust goes both ways, Rey. You have mine, right now. From the start. If and when you have problems, I want you to be able to come to me. I will never call anyone on you as long as there’s no immediate harm to anyone. I’m on your side. And, I’m here for the long term. That means we work through our problems, together, okay?”

That was not the catch I was expecting. My heart is racing and I feel like I’m about to cry. It’s too good to be true. I guess I would believe her when I see it. “I- yeah… Okay.”

Maz smiles. “Good. School starts in the morning. I’ll be starting you off on a twenty-five dollar allowance. It should be enough for snacks at school and coffee with friends. If there are any other supplies you want, talk to me and I’ll see if I can get them for you. How’s that sound?”

“Okay. Twenty-five a month is more than I usually get, so-”

Maz chuckles. “No, sweetie. Twenty-five a week.”

My eyes go wide. “Oh.”

“I’ll be taking you to school and picking you up, but if you want to start learning to drive, I can make that happen. This is going to take a lot of communication, Rey. Probably a lot more than you’re comfortable with. But you can ask me any questions you want, okay?”

I nod, feeling overwhelmed.

“How are you feeling, Rey?” Miss Holdo looks over at me, a gleam in her eye.

“Ah… A little overwhelmed. I guess.”

“That’s perfectly normal. Should I let you get settled in?”

“Yeah.” I glance at Maz and she’s happily biting into her burger. She’s strange, but… I think I like her.

“You have my number, so don’t be afraid to call. I’ll see you Saturday morning at ten, okay?” Miss Holdo stands to leave and grabs her paperwork. “Thank you for the dinner, Maz.”

“Any time, hun. You should call more.” Maz raises her eyebrows.

“Sorry, Maz. I will. I promise.” Miss Holdo gives Maz a small hug and I’m left bewildered.

Maz sees my face and chuckles. “Long before she was your social worker, Rey, Amilyn was causing quite a bit of trouble for me.”

I suddenly understand Holdo’s certainty that I would be a good fit here. “You were in the system?”

Holdo nods. “Almost didn’t get out of it, if it wasn’t for Maz. She’s a good one, Rey. I promise. Just keep that nose out of trouble.”

“I don’t go looking for it,” I grumble. Holdo smiles and bids her goodbye. Maz gives a big old sigh and starts gathering plates. I automatically grab my plates and follow her into the kitchen.

“Just put the scraps in the compost bin and set your things on the counter. I’ll take care of it tonight. The rules are on the fridge if you want to read them over and sign them. We can discuss any of them that you want to.” Maz steps up on to a stool so that she can reach into the sink and starts running water for dishes.

I shyly make my way over to the fridge and read the list. It’s what she basically already told me plus a few extra notes about cleanliness and food. Anything not marked in the fridge is fair game. Shower regularly. Add necessities to the shopping list before Friday. All of it was already more room than I had ever been given in most households, that is beside the ones that didn’t give a shit. The last bullet just says- Respect is built. Love is given freely. Responsibility is learned. Trust goes both ways. Beside the rule list is a whiteboard daily chore chart. Weeding the garden is marked for Saturday and Sunday (subject to weather). Clean dishes and homework are marked every day. Sweep is marked every other day. Laundry and clean room are unmarked. The date of school starting and my therapy appointment is marked in red on a calendar. Despite the eclectic feel of her house, Maz seems incredibly organized. I pick up one of the markers stuck to the fridge and sign the rule list. I date it.

“All good?” Maz is waiting for me at the entrance to the living room. I nod and she gestures for me to follow her. I climb the stairs behind her and we end in a hallway. There’s a door in front of us, and another to my left and right. Maz gestures to the door in front of her. “My room. You need anything at any time and I’m in there you can knock .” She points to the door on my right. “That’s the office. There’s a computer in there that you can use to research, watch your Youtube videos. Though I think they give out laptops at that school now. I don’t know, I’m not the most technologically up today as the kids these days. I apologize in advance. There’s no cable and I can’t figure out the Apple TV doo-dangle-thing.” She points to a half-open door on the right side of the hall. “That’s your bathroom. I never go in there so, you’re responsible for telling me when shit breaks. I went out and got you some supplies, but if there’s anything else you need, let me know. Now…” Maz opens the final door on my left and flips on a light. She leads me into a simple room, painted cream and blue stripes. There’s a twin bed covered in a white comforter pressed against the wall, a wooden desk under the window, a dresser against the wall with a record player and a box of records, and an open door to a walk-in closet that looks like it’s filled with clothes. I can’t help but stop and stare.

“This is mine?” I set my one bag down at my feet.

“All yours, hun. You can arrange it and paint it how you want. Most of this stuff is leftover from previous girls. You can have whatever you want and anything else, I can put in storage. I think Jyn left a lot of her old clothes and you’re about her size.” Maz looked over the room. “Tomorrow, if you want, we can go shopping for any clothes you might need. Underwear. Bras. Whatever. Oh, and this is for you, for your first day.”

Maz picked a plain blue backpack up off the bed and handed it to me. I took it hesitantly and unzipped it. It was filled with notebooks and pens and pencils and even a calculator. Tears sting at my eyes. It’s too good. It’s too good to be true.

“Oh, hun. Can I give you a hug?”

I nod and her surprisingly strong arms wrap around me. I break and tears fall and I’m sobbing now. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve any of this.

[dgcatanisiri]

Hollywood needs to learn that “controversial” stories/endings are not inherently GOOD stories/endings. 

Heads up, I’m going beyond just Supernatural here. Also, I offer my respect (and a citation) to Lindsay Ellis’s two part “The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes” video essay, cuz that’s giving me some foundational material.

We’ve been seeing this for several years now. I think the earliest example of a controversial ending that set everyone ablaze would probably be the ending of the Sopranos, cutting off in the middle of a scene, no conclusion offered. Now, while I have never watched the Sopranos myself, my understanding of the context of that is that it made sense with the context of the series - we may not know how that dinner in particular ended, but as long as Tony Soprano remained in the life of the mob, he would always be living on that razor’s edge, where a family dinner could as abruptly turn into a bloody shootout at the drop of a hat. It had thematic resonance and meaning when the show had been about a protagonist who would be, on any other show, the antagonist - he is a mob boss, and thus, a criminal. A murderer. We should want to see him dead - and yet, because the series centered on him, the audience rooted for him. 

Part of the reason I bring up The Sopranos is that it is also cited as the beginning of the era of “peak TV” or “the golden age of television,” where the critics have realized that TV is a valid storytelling medium capable of the emotional highs and low of The Novel™ and and The Theatre™ and The Cinema™. You know, the REAL art. Obviously, if you’ve been living outside the ivory tower, you knew this, but they now acknowledge it is more than just the entertainment for the masses, which now elevates it.

Probably not a coincidence that the era of Peak TV began with shows on premium networks that you had to spent more money to have...

This has created this THING where the writing equates a controversial ending with a good end. Because if people are talking, you did something right, you know? Except... What are they saying? And are they going to trust your writing the next time you offer something? 

Because we’ve seen a lot of these highly respected shows that fumble their ending, and they’re then just... buried. Battlestar Galactica. How I Met Your Mother. Sherlock. Game of Thrones. The fans see those endings, and they’re upset. They don’t feel that the ending of the journey they just went on had anything of meaning, anything that made returning to that journey worthwhile. Which also means they end up almost dissolving from the face of fan circles - think back. When was the last time you saw any gifsets floating around of the above examples, despite how these shows were once big names in Tumblr realms.

And now we can add the finale of Supernatural to that list. 

And this isn’t limited to TV - The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy premiered to great fanfare, The Last Jedi created a schism, and Disney/Lucasfilm just let it happen, not at any point trying to step in and do something about all of this division. The end result of trying to satisfy everyone ended up being the finale that was... received very lukewarmly. And the response on Disney’s side has basically been “okay, so we’re going to avoid anything sequel-y like it’s radioactive, ready a new era of the franchise with The High Republic, and hold over fans until then with more Mandalorian and Clone Wars.”

This is what happens when “controversy,” the idea that having people talk about your work is more important than the work itself, drives the decisions being made. Congratulations, Hollywood. You understand that people talk about controversy, but you haven’t grasped what it is about the controversies that people are talking about - and, once the talk has died down... Do you really have fans who will still buy your merchandise? 

Hm. Maybe THAT’S the reason that there’s been a push away from physical media - they’ll still get the money if you’re paying for their streaming services...

[bonaintan]

A Journey to KGSP/GKS: How I Ended Up in Korea

Everyone has at least one turning point in their life. It’s a momentum when one believes that his/her life has completely changed and a new one has begun. To me, KGSP/GKS is one of my turning points. I wouldn’t say that my journey to get the scholarship and my student life in Korea were full of blood and tears. Tough days were there, but there must be a bunch of more heart-breaking stories other than mine. God allows us to experience things and difficulties within our ability and even though I had mine in an unexpected way, I know that He had been very soft to me all the time. It was the time when I learned different versions of myself I never knew existed. And just now, months after I graduated and managed to finish the program safely that I had the courage to share my experience.  

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Korean Government Scholarship Program (KGSP), which has changed its name into the Global Korea Scholarship (GKS), is a scholarship program from the Government of the Republic of Korea. This program provides foreigners the opportunity to continue to higher education (undergraduate and graduate degree programs) in South Korea. You may click here for more information.

Studying abroad has always been one of my dreams since high school. It turned from a mere dream into a plan once I graduated from university. Given my major is not a common one (Family Science) especially in Indonesia, I knew that I should go overseas to do my master’s degree program. I could’ve just continued my studies at the same university where I graduated, but even my advisor suggested to find some overseas universities, the most possible one is in Malaysia. At the time, Korea hadn’t been on the list as I had no idea if any universities were providing my prospective major.

I only did my research on schools in Malaysia and the US until I ran into a broadcast message about overseas scholarship for graduate programs. The list was quite long so I did a quick scan and started to dig into each based on my country preference, where Korea happened to be one of it. Back then, my knowledge of Korea was limited to dramas that I got to watch along with my older sisters (if you have three older sisters you can hardly choose what to watch on TV) and then some bands my little sister listened to. So I’ve been a fan of the Korean entertainment industry before coming to Korea, but studying there was never on any of my imaginations because I was skeptical on the idea of learning a new language (there were days when I laughed on Korean language and how the actors/actresses look, never imagined it would be part of myself in the future).

Surprisingly, the moment I learned about KGSP/GKS, I decided to give it a go. I did calculations on time and energy that I had (I was working at the time) and knew that I could afford only one scholarship application at the time. So I wrapped up my research on other countries and scholarship programs and spent the rest of the year preparing for KGSP/GKS applications, which means that I literally gave my all to my first scholarship journey. As a person who was spoiled by her parents and never had experience in scholarship application before, it was quite overwhelming. But, I tried hard to prepare everything myself despite their disapproval. It was actually my way to show them as well as God that I could do it and I would make it (what a confidence. Lol).

I sent my application to the Korean Embassy in Jakarta as I applied via Embassy Track. I learned that the competition on the first round through this track was not a joke, but I simply preferred having three university choices rather than one and I didn’t want to take a risk of having my documents lost on the way (that’s odd, I know, but I’m always more on the safe side). Thank God, I got the interview call and then had my documents sent to Korea after passing the interview process. The next round was having my documents screened by the Korean National Institute for International Education (NIIED) in Korea and once I passed this process, I had to wait for the email from my chosen universities, whether they wanted to do another interview or directly announced their decision. At this round, a lot of awardees say that you’ve already put your first step in Korea and there will be at least one university that will accept you. The saying was such a tranquilizer for me that I even started to make my packing list (’m not always this confident, seriously).

I got the first email from Kyungpook National University who was interested in my application and sent me a written interview. While undergoing the university selection process, applicants have to submit the medical check-up form. And it was around that time when things started to go down the hill. It should be easy if you have no history of having any acute diseases. I was not a healthy kid myself so I was quite worried that something off would unveil. It turned out that the underlooked mental health check-list was the one that got in my way. I took my medical check-up in a nearby hospital which happened to be a mental hospital where the doctor couldn’t simply sign my form without doing all the tests including the mental one. So, I had to take a written test to get the psychiatrist's signature, which unfortunately turned out that she didn’t want to give.

It was probably the wrong time to take the test. I was tired and drained out after taking several tests in a day. But, I know the result wouldn’t turn out differently had I done it on another day. So, I had to respond either yes or no on 300 questions. I guess the test basically tries to reveal your mental state (e.g., stress, anxiety, depression) through your fears and your response to stressful situations. Unfortunately, my result didn’t come out well. As silly as it sounds, I couldn’t hold my tears in the counseling room when the psychiatrist showed me the result and told the story of people with similar cases like me and what happened to them. I sobbed not because she couldn’t give her recommendation, but because finally came the day when someone put my condition into words. It might sound like I was being judged and the way she frankly explained it to me was also unpleasant, but nothing was wrong with what she said which made me feel even worse.

You might think I could’ve just taken the test again in another hospital. But, I couldn’t let my money go down the drain, and asking my parents’ money was not part of the plan. Plus, I had no ample time to do it all over again and get the results on time. More than anything, I started to doubt my decision to study abroad. I knew that the fear of living away from my parents and not being able to handle things independently had always been there all along (I don’t know if anyone at my age could relate). Not only one person who pointed it out, but I kept on denying it. So, when it was brought to the surface especially by a professional, it was painful to the point that I considered withdrawing because I couldn't even trust myself to take a risk.

Surprise-surprise, only a few days after the medical check-up I received the acceptance email from Kyungpook National University. I took it as a yes from God. I had come that far and I wouldn't trade my spot for some future events no one never knew would really happen. So, with as much courage as I had, I took the mental health test again suggested by the kind nurse who listened to me crying in the counseling room, answered the same questions differently, and managed to receive the psychiatrist's signature to complete my medical form. Later, I got the acceptance notifications from Pusan National University and Seoul National University as well, which I ended up choosing the latter for my graduate school in Korea.

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Preparing for KGSP/GKS applications and undergoing the selection process for months have taught me the pain of waiting and struggling. At one point, it showed me that I could push my boundary and instead of jumping out of my comfort zone, I tried to widen it and made things that were used to be hard become part of myself. With the permission of God, I could turn myself into such an overconfident head by asking prayers from people I know (in case my family’s prayers were not strong enough to persuade God. Lol). At another point, I was awakened to things I have been feared to deal with although I know I eventually have to. Confronting my fears wasn’t always pleasant nor that it affected me positively and became part of my comfort zone, but I did my share by trying to face it. At the end of the day, I learned Ikhlas and literally let God do the rest and decide for me. While waiting for the announcement I pictured the day I was rejected, hoping that it would ease the pain later. I also told myself hundred times that everything would be okay even if I failed as long as the sun still rises; I would cry my eyes out for days, receive comforting words halfheartedly, and wake up one day feeling okay again. 

And my journey to be part of KGSP/GKS came to a beautiful end as I flew to Korea in August 2016 and started the real struggle for 3 years. Some of what the psychiatrist said back then about people with similar cases like me did happen to me too, but I finished it differently. It was tough years and only God’s mercy and the people I spent my time with in Korea that helped me to stay sane and get through it. 

[violethowler]

A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

[gffa]

@grim-on-the-darkside replied:

I just recently saw the Rise of Skywalker, I didn't want to give Disney my money so I decided I'd wait til I could stream it for free.- This is just a personal opinion, nothing more, but I thought it was absolutely terrible. I knew I wouldn't like it, but I never thought it would be so awful. It may sound funny, and I don't mean it that way but, it literally made me sad. I suppose as a life long hardcore SW fan, as a Lucas Canonist, I knew it wouldn't be what I might have hoped for, but I never thought it would be like that. The worst SW movie I have ever seen by a wide margin. To see how far Star Wars has fallen, it has made me feel totally hopeless for the future of Star Wars. I'm not knocking anyone else for liking it, these kinds of things are totally subjective, that's the nature of art and no one is wrong for liking or disliking anything of an artistic nature. I actually envy those who do like Disney, because they get to still have Star Wars. For me, Star Wars is dead. It only exists in a place and time for me. Only Filoni can bring it back to life.

As always, I am not here to change anyone’s minds and I don’t think you’re here to change my mind, either, that both of us will be entirely fine if we don’t move an inch from where we started!  It’s just a good chance to jump on one of my favorite subjects: navel-gazing about why, despite that I’m pretty hardcore about loving George Lucas’ Star Wars, why I enjoy the Disney era so much. It’s not that I think there’s anyone who can ever really live up to George Lucas, not even Dave Filoni, there’s plenty I disagree with him on or think he didn’t do as well as I wished he would have.  I greatly, greatly admire how much he strives to stay true to George’s SW as much as he can and that he is clearly very passionate and very in love with SW and that I like the vast majority of things he creates and certainly I trust him more than most. But, for me, there are three distinct areas of “canon” and I’m fine with enjoying any given one of them for their own sake: - George Lucas’ Star Wars (the six movies + TCW) - Legends’ Star Wars (anything produced before mid-2014 + some after that) - Lucasfilm’s Star Wars (the Skywalker Saga + TCW + everything post-2014) Each one of those is completely separate in my mind, despite that they occasionally overlap with what they include as part of their continuity.  Therefore, my love of George Lucas’ Star Wars does not infringe on my love of Lucasfilm’s Star Wars or Legends’ Star Wars. But the other thing is that, honestly, I don’t care that much about the movies in contrast to how much I care about the bigger everything that LFL is doing.  Oh, I like the movies fine!  But I got just as excited about Jedi: Fallen Order or Dooku: Jedi Lost or the amazing Age of Republic comics or the Dark Lord of the Sith comic.  Seriously, I was just as excited about those as I was about the movie!  (The movies take up more space, so I wind up talking about them more than any other individual project, but my excitement for every new issue of Dark Lord of the Sith eclipsed whatever I felt for the movies.) So, when I look at Lucasfilm Star Wars (or “Disney Star Wars” if one wants), my first thought isn’t always the movies.  Which means there’s a hell of a lot less pressure on the movies for me, they don’t have to be All Things to me, and thus they’re just one part of a bigger continuity/canon that I really love. And I do think that a lot of the current comics have been fantastic.  The main Star Wars ongoing comics, the main Darth Vader comics, they’ve all been telling stories that I’ve found to really sing to me,  I’ve found that the bigger picture LFL canon has done better with George Lucas’ themes than I expected.  I thought Rebels was really great.  I’ve been enjoying the spectacle of The Mandalorian.  Jedi: Fallen Order was so satisfying for me. If I only had just the ST movies, who knows, maybe I would be feeling similarly, that SW just had no future for me.  But when I think of “future of SW”, I’m thinking, oh, I’m really curious about those High Republic books, I’m thinking, oh, I really want to see what a second JFO game might do, I’m thinking that I’m curious to see what ILMxLAB will come out with after how much I enjoyed Vader Immortal, I’m curious to see what the new Vader and SW comics are going to do, I’m curious to see what the new Thrawn books are going to be like, I’m curious to see if we’ll get follow up on all the stuff that happened after Rebels. I enjoy the stuff around the ST movies, the novelizations always have fun little snippets for me and, yeah, TROS is my favorite of the sequel movies, because I can at least grab hold of what they were trying to do and I’m willing to give the novels and comics and whatever comes in the future time to fill in the gaps. Some people are always going to hate the ST movies, a lot of people are always going to hate TROS and can’t see how it’s anything other than a pile of garbage, and while I’m sad that we won’t be able to share joy together, I get that people see things differently and that everyone genuinely brings their own stuff to the table and the reasons they don’t like it or reasons they do like it are valid for every one of us. If you want (and there is precisely zero pressure to do this, if it’s not your thing, I won’t think twice about it), maybe try some of the comics around the OT or the PT, have you watched the other TV shows?  Or is Star Wars always going to be the movies for you?  (And there’s nothing wrong with that, if that’s how it is for you!) That’s always my offer--try out some of the other stuff (especially the longer running comics or the TV shows), see if that hits the vibe for you re: what you’re looking for out of SW, because even if you don’t like one part of SW, there’s still those whole huge other area for you to try out.  (Assuming you haven’t already, of course!)

[krinsbez]

GI Joe: Remixed, Grootslang

Grootslang (named after a monstrous serpent from South African folklore) is Cobra Commander’s elite personal goon squad. While technically members of the Crimson Guard, in reality. they answer only to CC and Croc Master (whom we have made CC’s chief of security, and one day I hope to do a post about him)

It comprises (note, everything that follows was created by Night_stalker, I am just porting it to tumblr)...

Name: Alexander Popov Codename: Apep DOB: August 12, 1987 Former Affiliation: Russian Spetsnaz, 45th Guards Independent Reconnaissance Battalion Specialty: Long Range Threat Neutralization Orientation: Hetero. Bio: Originally studying to be an art student, he joined the Army after times got rather tough, financially. Discovering a talent for sniping, he was slotted into Spetsnaz soon after joining. However, Popov was discharged after an op in Ukraine went South, involving considerable amounts of property damage and civilian casualties. More worrying for the Russians was the fact that apparently, some news crews caught the incident on TV, which is what really caused the tea cups to rattle in Moscow. As the highest ranked survivor of the incident, he was given a inquest, blamed, shown the door, and told to not come back. Intel suggests that the verdict was contested, heavily so, behind closed doors. Dissatisifed with the world, and lacking any family or friends, he wandered the globe, utilizing his sharpshooting skills to pay the bar tabs he racked up along the way. While passing through Eastern Europe, he was hired on for security at a party where The Baroness was attending. Apparently, she stormed off to one of the art galleries to distract herself, and they got to chatting about art. She offered him a spot in Cobra, and his skills, combined with her endorsement earned him a spot in the best of the best. Hobbies: Sharpshooting, Art collection/appreciation, Painting (Models and oil paintings).

Name: Carol Spencer Codename: Crotalus DOB: December 2, 1987 Former Affiliation: Central Intelligence Agency Special Activities Center, Special Operations Group Specialty: Counterintelligence Orientation: Bisexual Bio: Born as a Army brat bouncing around internationally, Carol picked up quite a few things. A knack for languages, a inability to take shit from anyone, friends all over the place, and most of all, a searing hatred for her abusive father. So naturally, on her 18th birthday, her idea of celebrating was a punch to his nose and a quick trip over to the Marine recruiter's office. Couple tours of duty later, Carol was all but ready to retire from being a jarhead, or at least ready to take some leave. Alas, a spook from the State Department disagreed, and naturally, pressed the matter. Shockingly, she fit right in there, a fact which shocked both her and her superiors. After awhile though, she started having ethical qualms about what they were doing. Too much red in her ledger, she felt. She wanted out, and was willing to go to the press over the matter. Alas, hindsight says you probably should sweep your house for bugs before making appointments with a reporter. She walked into that cafe a decorated hero, a scion of a long military family. She ran out of there a wanted criminal, with her former co-workers in hot pursuit. Shockingly, when you burn someone, they tend to want revenge. In this case, it meant Cobra. She'd only heard whispers about them, but that was reason enough for her to seek them out. Trading some of her evidence for a job, she parlayed her honed talents into a rapid ascension up the ranks. Hobbies: Learning new languages, Ham radio, Photography, Geocaching, and Acting.

Name: Eline Luiten Codename: Echinda DOB: January 14, 1983 Former Affiliation: Penose Specialty: Demolitions Orientation: Lesbian. Bio: Born into a family of criminals, Eline grew up not wishing to follow in her parents footsteps. Instead, she was interested in becoming a chemical engineer, and going straight. However, after she got her degree, the Recession happened, and being a recent hire, was let go. Desperate to pay off student loans, she went right back to her family, and was welcomed in with open arms. Turning her talents to more lucractive lines of work, she soon fell back into her old ways, manufacturing drugs and on occasion more exotic materials. Soon, her talents shifted from making ectasy and heroin into making RDX and other substances. This tied in nicely with her changing politics, leading her into more radical steps. This was a rather bad idea, as the Dutch police were closing in on her, and the family wasn't going to stick their necks out for a radical. So she was forced to flee, literally barely making it out the window of her workspace before a team of BSB operatives kicked down her front door. Now on the run with little to lose and a burning hatred of the government, she drifted, until Cobra gave her a chance at revenge. Hobbies: Political commentary, Urban Exploration, Parkour, and Debating.

Name: Lily Shen Codename: Lamia DOB: Redacted Former Affiliation: Section G, Division 4, Hong Kong Police Department Specialty: Close Protection Orientation: Hetero. Bio: Born to British ExPats in Hong Kong, Lily grew up in a orderly household. So naturally, she joined the police force as soon as she got old enough. There, she developed a hobby for martial arts, which suited her fiery temperament just fine, and helped earn her a transfer into the VIP Protection unit. People were whispering that she was on the fast track to being a captain, if not higher. However, those plans were derailed. A corruption scandal occurred, and some of her political opponents used it to force her out of the department. The fact that her attitude was rather fiery at best didn't help matters anyway. Left without a job, and feeling betrayed by the organization she'd worked at for years, she remembered a old contact she'd made over in Japan, and gave him a call. Storm Shadow was rather surprised to get a contact from Shen, but agreed to put her in contact with a recruiter, seeing the value in having a former police officer on the payroll. From there, she was rapidly promoted to the Crimson Guard, where she fit right on in. Hobbies: Meditation, Martial arts, Blackjack (Chinese and conventional), and Parkour.

Name: Filip Tadych Codename: Perun DOB: June 19th, 1983 Former Affiliation: JW GROM Specialty: General Combat Orientation: Het Bio: Filip was born back in the final days of the Polish People's Republic, which caused considerable gaps in his records to emerge. The first concrete records that Cobra has access to suggests he joined the Polish Army at the age of 18, and after a couple of years, was transferred into GROM where he excelled in the high stress environment. However, he soon wound up being shown the door, when some rather unsettling political ties were uncovered, mostly through friends and some distant family members. While he himself didn't actually express any of them, he was still asked to leave the army. Furious, he became a solider of fortune, wherein he made a few contacts, the most important of which was one Apep, who he wound up in a bar brawl with in Tunisa. Once the local police arrived though, they promptly joined up and proceeded to smack down the cops and flee. The resulting 9 hour drive to the border did actually make them fairly solid friends. Hobbies: Tennis, Baking, dart throwing, and rock stacking.

Name: Karena LesProux Codename: Orleans DOB: February 18th, 1979 Former Affiliation: 11th Parachute Brigade, French Army Specialty: Tactics Orientation: Formerly Het (Married, 2 children), currently Bi, dating Nina of Crimson Guard Bio: Karena had it all, a loving husband, a solid army career, and two wonderful children. However, that was all a sham, as her husband was an artist as he called himself, while Karena called him a drunken slob, as well as other, more insulting terms. This was usually about the time he attacked her, so as one can imagine, their relationship was not very solid. Karena endured it for two solid reasons. The first being that, as her drunken asshat of a husband was the son of a prominent politician, she would be subjected to quite a bit of harassment from him and his ilk. The second reason was her children, who she loved very much. So she endured the fists and occasional rolling pin thrown her way, bottling up her rage deep inside. One night, that all changed. Instead of going after her, he made a move towards the kids room, while still holding a rolling pin. According to her, she saw red, and next thing she knew, her husband was lying on the ground, dead, with a steak knife sticking out of his throat. While her first instinct was to call the police, something stopped her. Namely, that she was likely going to be convicted of murder, and sent away to prison, as well as separated from her beloved children. So instead, she made a call to a former coworker she had run into while serving in the French Army. Meanwhile, in a Terror-Dome near the Med, Turul's ringtone went off, as luck would have it, in the middle of a rather boring meeting. One rapid conversation later, he was booking a flight out to his homeland, and she was packing up the kids to go visit "Uncle Francois" in Nice for a few days. Surprisingly, she fit right in with Cobra, while her kids were off in a nice high quality daycare, she was in a environment she loved dearly. In fact, if anything, she loved it more, knowing she wasn't going to have to hold herself back in the field any more. Hobbies: Wine tasting, Clay Sculpting, The Werewolves of Millers Hollow, and Knitting.

(These were the first sets of OCs Night_stalker created for us, though the last two were edited in later, which is why they don’t quite fit and mention other OCs)

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (11)

The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug's identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. 

Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. Whump!Fic

Ao3 | FF.net

Warning: This chapter is a recap of the last one, in the perspective of those watching. It is sad.

—

It’s 5:30am. A half an hour until the next broadcast begins. The large screen in the Agreste living room was hooked up to the computer, and the site was open and waiting. According to the counter on the bottom of the screen, another 100,000 people were waiting as well.

Sleep didn’t come easy for those in the house. Sabine hadn’t slept at all, spending most of the night awake in the kitchen with a pot of coffee. Tom had tried to stay up with her, but the day before had been a long one in the bakery, and his eyes fell shut against his will. There was little rest to be had with his head on the counter.

Gabriel hadn’t slept at all either, as he had stayed up all night as Hawkmoth in his lair.

One would think it would be easy for someone like Hawkmoth to feel the emotions from Adrien and Marinette. But in a city of millions, there were all sorts of emotions running high. Even in the middle of the night.

He even tried feeling for intense happiness, of someone like Salo. But there were plenty of people who hadn’t heard about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s capture, or they just weren’t concerned.

What if they weren’t even in Paris anymore? Salo had an Italian accent, what if they were in Italy?

The second problem Hawkmoth had was his fear of akumatizing someone without Ladybug being around. With so many people in such volatile states, akumatizing the wrong person could mean the difference between finding them, or tearing the city apart.  

It was a risky move. One that he knew he’d employ soon enough, but he still hesitated.

He’d wait a little longer, just until people came to terms with this new reality. Once people were a little more stable.

Then perhaps he’d employ Mr. Lahiffe or Miss. Cesaire. Someone who was close to Adrien or Marinette. Maybe he’d even akumatize himself.

Or maybe he wouldn’t even need to use his powers. Maybe the police would figure it out. They had to be working on it, right?

But it was morning now, and blearily, he emerged from his office and came into the living room. Nathalie was in, deep bags under her eyes. She had gone to bed not long after midnight, but it was obvious she spent most of the night tossing and turning. The Gorilla had slept, but looked just as he always had, not giving any idea to his exhaustion.

Nino and Alya were awake as well, still in their pajamas.

Sabine came out of the kitchen with a tray. Coffee, cups, and fresh baked croissants. “I’m sorry, Tom and I bake under pressure. And I just…if no one is hungry, I won’t be offended.”

Gabriel was the first to take a croissant and a cup of coffee. “Thank you Sabine, this is quite welcomed after such a long night. You may use the kitchen as you like. Please let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thank you Gabriel.” She smiled calmly.

The kids and Nathalie took coffee and a croissant as well, as Tom finally joined the group. He had an indent on his forehead from laying on the counter.

Then they sat around, looking at each other and the screen. No one knew what to say.

The doorbell rang, and Gabriel scowled. “The media? At this hour of the morning?”

“I’ll go see who it is,” said Nathalie, standing. But Gabriel was quick to follow her, preparing to reprimand whoever was bothering them so soon. The Gorilla followed them as well, ready to knock some heads in.

Indeed, the media was out there, but the man that rang the doorbell didn’t look like a reporter. He looked like a police officer, but his windbreaker had ‘EUROPOL’ printed on it. The man himself was carrying a briefcase and had an eyepatch.

Nathalie spoke into the mic. “Yes?”

“Detective Joseph Bertony, European Union Agency for Law Enforcement Cooperation.” He held up a badge and ID card. “I’d like a word with Mr. Agreste.”

“Let him in.” Gabriel agreed.

The gate swung up swiftly, and Detective Bertony entered quickly, before the media could try to slide in.

Nathalie opened the door, and gestured him inside.

“Mr. Agreste, thank you for agreeing to speak with me.”

“I assume this is about Adrien?”

“And Marinette Dupain-Cheng, of course. I’ve been to the bakery, and it’s on lock down. Have you been in contact with the family?”

“Yes, they are here with me.”

“Excellent. If you wouldn’t mind, could I speak to them as well? I understand that this is a difficult time, but we need to act quickly.”

Gabriel swallowed, still apprehensive, but he nodded and gestured Detective Bertony to follow.

In the living room, Tom and Sabine stood at the presence of this newcomer.

He held out his hand to shake their hands. “Detective Bertony, Europol.”

“Tom Dupain.”

“Sabine Cheng.” She smiled.

Then he glanced at the kids. Gabriel answered for them. “This is Alya Cesaire and Nino Lahiffe, close friends of Adrien and Marinette.”

“Hi,” said Alya.

“Hello,” said Nino.

He shook their hands too, with a nod. “You’re the creator of the Ladyblog, right?” He asked Alya.

“That’s me…” She said with a little shrug. She was so close to pulling the plug on the blog, since got her best friend captured.

“We’ve been reviewing it as evidence for this case. You’re not in any trouble, conversely, we’d like to work with you. If Salo is using your blog, we might be able to use it as well.”

Alya perked up considerably. Anything to right her wrongs. “Sure! Just say the word!”

He winked at her, and then addressed the group.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’m here, if not a little on edge. I would be too, if I was in your place.” He gestured to an open chair by the coffee table. “May I?”

“Yes, of course,” replied Gabriel.

The detective took his seat, and scooted his chair closer to the table. Then he opened his briefcase and set a file on the table. Inside were several pictures of women. Mugshots, to be precise.

Upon closer inspection, they were all the same woman, with different hair styles and makeup.

“Bianca Furtoli. Age 46, born in Sicily. Committed her first crime at 15, carjacking. Widowed four times, with her first husband barely surviving after she stabbed him in the eye with a knife.” He looked up, noticing they were looking at his eyepatch meaningfully. He continued, “she worked as a prostitute in her twenties, and became a prolific dominatrix. In 1997, she was arrested for her first murder, but the sentencing was reversed for lack of evidence. Since then, she’s been known as an alleged serial killer, not a dominatrix, all throughout Italy and Germany, and now France. This is the woman who has captured your children.”

Sabine sobbed.

“So, you know her identity. That’s good, right? Then you can find her?” Asked Nino.

Detective Bertony sighed, screwing up his lips. “I’ve been tracking Furtoli for the last fifteen years, after she fell in with Savauge and became an international threat. Both of them are very talented at disguise and covering their tracks. They operate under the motto, ‘everyone has a dark secret,’ and they use it to get out of sticky situations. The right person is blackmailed, evidence goes missing, testimonies get changed. They are slippery, and nearly impossible to catch. Of course, we have no hard proof of this, but it’s our best guess, since the same patterns happen over and over with them. This will be the first time we have real, hard evidence to convict her. She’s been seen on camera assaulting them, and she admitted to kidnapping. If we can find her, we will have a real case.”

Alya cracked her knuckles. “Alright, so what do we do?”

He cracked a smile. “During her first broadcast yesterday, Salo gave us two clues, though I doubt she meant to. A hint on how to track her, and a time limit.”

“Time limit? For what?” Asked Gabriel, with a tremor in his voice.

“A time limit for them. ‘Salo’ refers to the Socialist Republic of Italy, under the control of Mussolini in World War II, but it’s also the title of a horrendous movie from the ’70s, about a group of fascists that kidnap and torture nine adolescents. It’s surname is ‘120 days of Sodom’ and it’s well known as one of the most horrendous films ever made. It’s banned in most countries.”

“I think I remember when that came out,” said Gabriel. “There was a big controversy because the director called it ‘art’ but it was so foul that no one could watch it.”

“I can only assume that given enough time, Salo will try to reenact the events of the movie.”  

“...how does the movie end?” Asked Nino, cautiously.

“The victims are killed brutally. And the kidnappers laugh about it.”

Gabriel didn’t want to acknowledge it, and so he asked, “you said she gave a hint on how to find her?”

“Yes,” said Bertony, with a little more hope in his voice. “That clue was you, Mr. Agreste. She mentioned the idea of ransoming Adrien back to you. Knowing her, it’s highly likely she will do just that. So here,” he handed over a little device.

“What is it, exactly?”

“It’s a tracking device, used to trace incoming calls. Plug it into your phone and all calls will be monitored to get an approximate location.  I understand that you’re a business man, and tracking your calls wouldn’t be ideal…”

“This number is unlisted. She wouldn’t be able to get it.”

“That won’t stop her. Any calls made will be classified information.”

“I’m not concerned with clients’ calls.” Gabriel said, clicking the device into his phone. “I’m just…suspicious of her pulling it off.”

“For now, it’s the best lead we have, but we are monitoring the site to see if she makes any more mistakes.”

Then the stream turned on, and Adrien and Marinette were shown in the room.

Detective Bertony took out his laptop, glancing between the tv and his screen.

“Over a million viewers on the site.” Stated a man from the stream.

“And it’s not even six yet. Can you believe it?” Salo walked up to Adrien and started to untie his gown in the back. “Let’s see, how is this arm doing today?” The assembled winced at the bruised and battered arm. “Oh, what a lovely shade of purple. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you match all over soon enough.” She patted his face. “But we’re going to start with your lady first, is that okay?”

“Hurt me first. Whatever you what to do to her, do to me instead.”

Sabine gasped a little, resting her hand on her heart.

Salo laughed, loudly and manically. “Oh you are so cute! But it doesn’t work like that kitty cat! You see, she was the one who jailed my Eddy. So she has to be punished.”

“Please,” Adrien begged. “Don’t hurt her.”

“Hmph.” Salo smirked. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

The clock struck six am.

“Congratulations. Now begins day one of your sentence. Before we begin, I’d like to tell you the rules.” She folded her hands in front of her, like a teacher talking to a particularly thick student. “Rule number one: There is no escape. So you can just forget that right now. Rule number two: We take turns here during our games. So when your partner is having fun, you are expected to be quiet and wait your turn. Rule three: If I ask you a question, you answer it. And rule four: you do exactly what I tell you to do, when I tell you to.”

Detective Bertony typed some notes as she spoke.

“And what happens if we break one of these rules?”

“Why don’t you try me and find out?”

Tom bit his lip, worried that Marinette would take the bait. But she didn’t, so nothing happened.

“So…Marinette Dupain-Cheng. How old are you, again? State it for those at home, so they can know.”

“17.”

“So now everyone has her name.” Stated the detective, “if they didn’t before.”

“17! 17 goddamn years old! And you’re playing superhero! The fate of the city of Paris rested solely on your shoulders, and you haven’t even finished Highschool! That’s…that’s embarrassing! Who let you do this?”

Marinette didn’t answer.

“I said, who gave you the earrings, Marinette?”

Marinette glared, making it clear she wasn’t going to answer.

Sabine turned her face away when Salo pulled her fist back. She heard a crack and someone fall.

Salo snorted. “Wow, you have no balance. Who knew Ladybug was such a klutz?…You really look ridiculous with those stupid pigtails. Like a baby. A toddler. Not a superhero in the slightest.”

Marinette continued to glare, as she rubbed under her nose, smearing the blood away.

Salo grabbed her pigtails and yanked, forcing Marinette to stand, while tears came to her eyes. “Is that what you are? A baby?…Are you a baby?!” She yelled, shaking her. “That was a question!”

“Obviously not!” Marinette shot back.

Salo gave her hair another yank, rendering her silent.

“No…pigtails are for pigs! You’re a little piggy, aren’t you? Yeah…let’s make you a little piggy.” She walked off screen.

Salo returned with a strap with two sharp, metal hooks on the end.

Marinette crouched and pressed her face into the ground.

“Now now, that’s no way to behave. Hold still!”

Sabine got up and left the room, unable to watch. Alya hid her face in Nino’s shoulder.

Soon the strap was in place, forcing Marinette’s nose up like a pig.

“You look absolutely ridiculous.”

“Mari…” Adrien began, taking a step forward.

“You, shut up!” Salo commanded with a slap. “You are not allowed to speak. You are here to watch in silence!”

Adrien flinched at the tone.

Then she turned back to Marinette. “On your hands and knees…Look at me.”

The camera moved in, right to Marinette’s face and showed her abuse in clear detail.

“What does the little piggy say?”

“…oink.”

“What was that?”

“Oink!”

Salo snickered. “No no, that’s not what a real piggy sounds like. What noise does a real piggy make?”

Marinette snorted.

“That’s a good piggy! Nice and loud! So everyone can hear!”    

She snorted again, louder, making a really gross sound.

“Again!”

The group watched with coiling stomachs as Marinette was degraded to an animal, oinking like a pig and crawling around on her hands and knees. It was disgusting.

“Oh, goodness me. You haven’t eaten yet, have you? You must be starving! Here, food for the piggy.”

A rotten apple plopped in front of her.

“It’s that, or nothing.”

But Marinette did not make any move to take it. She just sat back, and let the rebellion in her eyes answer for her.

“You sure? I won’t give you anything else today.” Salo kicked the apple away, not too far out of reach. “You’ll want that eventually.”

Alya sighed in relief. She didn’t know if her stomach could handle watching that.

“I can see you’re tired of this game. Do you want to stop being a piggy?”

“Please…” Marinette groaned.

Salo grinned. “Alright then, stay still.” She removed the hooks, then kicked her in the side as she tried to move. “Did I say you could stand?!”

“No…”

“No, what?”

“No ma’am.”

“Good girl,” Salo snorted. “Stay.”

Salo again went off screen, as Marinette stayed put.

“What’s happening now?” Asked Sabine from the hall.

“I’m not sure…” Answered Nino. “Salo’s coming back and she…she has scissors.”

“I can’t watch!” Alya shrieked as she also stood and left the room.

Those remaining watched as Salo snipped off her pigtails, and only that. It was a little relieving, to be honest.

“She cut her hair.” Tom provided, his voice in his throat.

“It…It’ll grow back.” Sabine sobbed from the hall. “Her hair always grows fast.”

Salo tussled what was left her hair, making it wild.

“What do you think, kitty cat? Doesn’t she look more mature?…I asked you a question, maggot.”

“Yes, she…she looks…nice.”

“It can be fixed,” said Gabriel. “I know some very talented hairdressers. It’s alright.”

Salo stood and studied her. “Hmm, you know, I don’t really see it. I think…once a pig, always a pig.”

Marinette snarled at her, spitting at her feet.

“A wild pig. Don’t you think so, Pasolini?” She glanced off camera.

A shadow casted on Marinette as her eyes grew wide and she began to backpedal. But there was no where to run.

A man pinned her to the ground, a hand on her face and a knee on her lower back. She breathed harshly.

“Get off of her!” Adrien barked. “You’re hurting—ugh!” There wasn’t a camera on Adrien at the moment, but it sounded like he got hit.

“It’s only day one, so I’ll give you a break, but remember the rules! No talking.”

Salo replaced the hooks in her nose, and then held up an electric razor in the light.

“Now, hold still.” She demanded, and lowered the razor.

“She’s being shaved.” Nino provided, his voice hallow.

Alya hugged Sabine.

“No…no please…” Marinette begged.

“Oh it’s just a little.” Said Salo. “It’s in style right now…Hold her still, Pasolini, we can’t have her move an inch for this.”

They shifted a little, and Marinette was barely visible on camera, since she was buried under the two people pinning her to the ground. The view switched to a different camera, zoomed in on her head, where Salo had a tattoo gun and was getting to work.

“Oh god…my baby girl…” Tom moaned.

“What? What’s happening now?” Sabine begged, though she didn’t want to hear it.

“She’s…they’re tattooing her.”

“Tattooing what?”

“It-it looks like a word—oh…’Cochon’.”

“Where? Where did they put it?”

“On her head, above her ear…her hair will grow out…but…”  

Marinette was pulled to her feet and a mirror was thrust in front of her. Immediately, she started crying, and so did Tom.

“You now how much people pay for tattoos these days? And I gave you one for free! No gratitude?”

Marinette only cried.

“I said, no gratitude?”

Marinette cried out, and then answered, “T-thank—Thank you ma’am!”

“You’re welcome, little piggy.” Salo laughed, and then shoved her so she fell on her rear.

Salo waltzed around the room, looking absolutely delighted.

The camera angle changed again to include Adrien. He was also crying.

Sabine and Alya dared to come back into the room. Though new tears cropped up when they saw Marinette’s new look.

“That woman is dead.” Hissed Alya.

“Now let’s see. Before I damage the goods…” She waved over to a man off screen. “I’m ready to connect that call, now.”

“Connecting.”

It was that moment that what Detective Bertony has predicted happened.

Gabriel’s phone rang.

“Answer it.” Said the detective. “Keep her on until I give the signal that it’s been traced.”

Gabriel nodded, and with a trembling hand, he answered the video call.

Salo’s face shone back at him, though it was hard to discern what she looked like behind the glasses. He assumed that was on purpose.

“Monsieur Agreste! Wonderful for you to join us.”  

Immediately, he went into his boss mode. The voice of a man who hated to be inconvenienced and wronged. He made sure people knew of his distaste and had them groveling for forgiveness.

She would join the rest of them, soon enough. Once this call was over and they found her location. “I don’t need your false pleasantries. Where are you? How did you get this number?”

“Oh come now Gabe, if you want to win, you have to play the game.”

“I don’t see a game. I see a sick creature torturing children.”

She scoffed. “You’re no fun.” Then she tapped her chin, deep in thought. “Alright then, we’ll start the bid at 50 million. Just a smidgen less than your net profit for this year. That’s doable right? Surely your son is worth that much.”

He’d pay every cent he had to get his son back. He’d go bankrupt. He’d even give up his own Miraculous. Anything, as long as Adrien came back. He clenched his jaw. “How much for both of them?”

“I’m afraid Chat Noir is the only one up for sale. I still have so much planned for Ladybug.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to respond, but Adrien beat him to the punch. “Don’t you dare give her a single cent, Father!”

Salo whipped around, glaring at him. “Shut up!”

But Adrien was undeterred. “They’ll just spend the money to do this to others! Don’t let that happen!” His speech was cut short as Salo clocked him in the jaw.

He hit the ground hard, and she gave him no time to recover as she kicked him over and over with her steel toed boots. She didn’t finish until he was gasping for breath.

Gabriel was going to puke. But he let nothing give way to his emotions but a deeper scowl.

She turned back to the camera. “60 million. And the price will continue to rise day by day. And you’ll end up having a very expensive funeral with a closed casket.”  

Her message was clear.

He often argued that Adrien didn’t know what was good for him. Every action that Gabriel, or Hawkmoth, made were for his benefit. He was still a kid, not quite 18 yet. What did he know about life?

A lot, apparently. Being a superhero meant that he was forced to grow up.

Gabriel saw the news. A man was dead because of that drug dealer they took down. That could have been Adrien. He was out there, every day, putting his life on the line and protecting Paris.

And even now, when they were on the brink of tragedy, when there was a glimmer of light to rescue them, he was begging for Paris.

How was Gabriel, a father, supposed to respond to that?

Finally, he swallowed and looked off to the side. Detective Bertony met his eyes with a soft smile.

“We got it.” He said softly.

The words offered hope, and Gabriel gave the tiniest of smiles back.

“No deal, Salo. I don’t negotiate with terrorists. I will find my own way to save my son. One that doesn’t benefit you. I love Paris, almost as much as they do. And I refuse to be responsible for its downfall. Not when my son has worked so hard to protect it.”

Salo frowned hard. “You’ve spurned me, Gabriel Agreste. I’ll take you next. Once I’ve finished with your son. This was your only chance to save him. But I’ll let you say goodbye.”

The camera moved past Salo to Adrien who was lying on the ground. He was pale and looked exhausted. Gabriel didn’t know if he’d ever seen his son look so tired. “D-Dad…” His voice was full of pain.

“Hang in there, Chat Noir. Just a little while longer.”  

“I…I love you, dad.”

How long had it been since they shared those words? “I love you too, son.”

The call ended.

Gabriel dropped the phone back to the coffee table and buried his face in his hands.

“Sickening.” Salo said from the screen. “You’d think a man that rich wouldn’t care about the money. But I guess I was wrong. He doesn’t really love you. He was just trying to make it easier on you. How does it feel to be rejected by your own father, huh?”

“Shut up, bitch.” Gabriel muttered under his breath.

“That was a question!” Salo shouted.

“He didn’t reject me,” he breathed. “I wanted him to stay out of it.”

“You’re an idiot. But everyone knew that. Chat Noir has always been the dumb one. Isn’t that right, Ladybug?”

Marinette answered from where she lied on the floor, “Chat Noir is a genius. He’s goofy, but he’s smart.”

“He’s an idiot!” Salo yelled back. “He’s a retarded piece of shit!”

Gabriel trembled in anger. No one talked about his son like that! Once he found her, he’d—he’d—

Words did not exist that expressed the hatred Gabriel felt for this woman.

“You’re not trying to drown me out, are you?” Salo asked, getting in his face. “Because I can do this all day, dumbass.”

“We hate liars.” He stated, firmly. “And you’re nothing but a liar.”

Salo laughed. “You’re a child. You don’t think I can hurt you? Didn’t you see what I did to your little Love Bug earlier? You looked so angry. Want to see if we can make her look that angry, too?” Then she looked over his head, passed the camera.

And so they watched as Adrien’s ears were pierced. Gabriel closed his eyes and could only listen to the snap of the gun over and over, and Adrien’s winces of pain.

The man sat Adrien up, as the camera zoomed in on the fresh piercings, his ears red.  

“We made Ladybug into a piggy, but I think we’ll keep the cat theme for you. A mangy, feral alleycat.”

Gabriel stood, “I’m sorry, but this is…unbearable.” He walked out, briskly, the sound of Adrien wincing and moaning echoing behind him.

Once in the hall and out of sight from the others, Gabriel collapsed.

He already regretted not agreeing to the ransom. What if the call wasn’t traced correctly? What if it was for somewhere else? What if, what if….what if that really was his only chance to save his son?

“Mr. Agreste?” Nathalie asked.

“What is she doing to him now?” He asked, hollowly.

“He’s…he’s eating cat food.”

Gabriel scoffed. “…could be worse. I guess.”

“Can I get you some water?”

“Yes, thank you.” He replied, swallowing thickly. When was the last time Adrien and Marinette had any water?

The sounds from the tv echoed in the silence.

“You bitch…” Adrien hissed.

“Oh, you don’t get to call me names.”

“That wasn’t one of your rules.”

“I could crush you under my thumbs. I could break you, kill you with no problem. It’s a mercy that I haven’t already. Do you understand?”

Adrien’s gagging and choking was her only answer.

Gabriel covered his mouth, lest he sob and miss a detail.

Adrien was dying. He was alone and afraid and this woman was killing him.

“I thought you were smart enough not to pick a fight with me. Guess that’s what I get for thinking so highly of a big dumb idiot.”

He heard buzzing from the room, knowing it was exactly the same with Marinette.

Nino came out into the hall and sat next to Gabriel, not making a sound. But he looked stricken and his eyes were wide with fear. He kept shaking his head.

“There. Fitting, for you.”

“It says chatte.” Nino said softly. “Just like Marinette.”

“Are you going to think twice before sassing me next time?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good.” She snorted. “Now, I’ve got other things to do. But we’ll have more fun tonight…Suspend them for now.”

That seemed like the cue that the session was over, and both Gabriel and Nino returned to the room. But the stream was still on, while Marinette and Adrien hung alone.

At the sight of Adrien, Gabriel nearly flew into a rage.

“Do you think they’re watching?” Marinette asked softly.

“They have to be.” Adrien gestured towards a camera with his head. “They’re broadcasting us to all of France.”

“Yeah…”  

“How’s your nose?” Adrien asked.

“It hurts. How’re your ears?”

“Hurts.”

Then they grew silent. No message ever appeared, and no one came back in the room.

Detective Bertony put his computer away. “Thank you all for your time. Is there someone I can contact when we have more information?”

“Here’s my business card.” Gabriel stated, handing it to the man.

“Thank you. I’ll let you know the minute we have anything. I sent the coordinates to my department, and they’re sending some men here. Once I have back up, we’ll raid the place.”

Tom wrapped an arm around his wife and hugged her a little closer. This was good news. Their nightmare was almost over.

“Where exactly did these coordinates come from?”

“Oh, around Montparnasse. I don’t have an address, just coordinates.”

“Thank you.”

“One more thing,” the detective warned. “I mentioned earlier that Salo and Savauge have dirt everyone. I would strongly caution against telling anyone that Europol is involved, especially my name. With stuff like this, you never know who you can trust.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but wonder if this would be a very different conversation if they all knew that Hawkmoth was listening.

The detective nodded his head, and then left.

The assembled were left with a weird feeling. Sickened and disheartened by what they had seen, and yet, hopeful that their children and friends could be home by bedtime.

Could it be so easy?

Gabriel looked at the kids. “Adrien…he always tried to go to school, no matter what. Is that something you two want to do?”

Alya and Nino looked at each other, both in various stages of grief.

“It…might help get our minds off of it for a while.” Nino supposed.

“And we should see how the others are doing.”

“Alright, Adrien’s bodyguard will accompany you. Remember what the detective said.”

“Mum’s the word.” Alya said with a little smirk.

Sabine yawned.

“Why don’t you take a nap, darling?” Tom asked. “You’ve been up all night.”

“But—“

“I’ll send Nathalie if I hear anything.” Gabriel assured.

Sabine smiled at him. “Thank you Gabriel, you’ve been so kind and helpful to us. How can we ever repay you?”

He offered a smile back, “I’m just glad we get along. No repayment required.”

“What is your favorite flavor of macaroon?” Tom asked.

Gabriel chuckled. “Well, if you insist. It’s raspberry.”

“Mind if I use your kitchen?”

“Be my guest.”

Once the Dupain-Chengs departed, Gabriel let his pleasant host act disappear. “Nathalie.”

“Sir.”

“I will leave my phone with you. Let me know if the detective calls.”

“Of course sir.”

—

After all he had learned, Hawkmoth returned to his lair, ready to start fresh. He had a general location now! Montparnasse! Still a highly populated area, but it was significantly smaller.

Montparnasse wasn’t a problem area. It wasn’t even residential or industrial. No large warehouses, no abandoned buildings that he could think of. An art hub, with lots of theaters and museums, quaint cafes and bars.

An ideal hiding place, really.

He reached out, zoning in on the area. Feeling the emotions, listening.

Pain. Anguish. Sadness.

Could it be them? Could it possibly be?!

He summoned a butterfly, and evilized it, then let it go.

A scout, this time. But if this feeling was right…

He went with the akuma, feeling the emotions get stronger and stronger as the akuma neared. Then they multiplied. Pain. So much pain. So many people in pain!

Something was wrong.

This wasn’t the pain of people being tortured.

This was…

“A hospital.” He groaned. Stupid.

He called the akuma back, frustrated. He knew there were hospitals over there. And the emotions they cause were like a signal jammer. He couldn’t feel anything outside of them without knowing what he was looking for.

Frustrated, angry, and ashamed, he detransformed, and hoped that the detective would have some good news soon.

��

Reminder: This pic will have NO sexual torture, not even off screen. There will be the threat of it, but it won’t actually happen. I just don’t like that.

I can’t stress enough how disgusting of a movie ‘Salo 120 Days of Sodom’ is. I wouldn’t even look it up. It’s up there with ‘Human Centipede’ as far as gross horror goes. Critics say it’s worse than that too. I’ve never seen it, and I don’t want to be responsible for anyone being traumatized by it.

[camillemontespan]

a kingdom divided [part nine] [drake walker x mc]

Part Eight here

In between seeing family and drinking as many Aperol Spritzes as I can, I managed to write the next chapter. Thank you to @ifyouseekheart  for offering her opinion and advice when I was struggling with writing this part.

 @sirbeepsalot   also thank you for the encouragement!

@jovialyouthmusic @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @tacohead13 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @katedrakeohd @dcbbw @whenyourheartskipsabeat  @drakesensworld

                  ****************************************************

Drake could smell the coconut scent of her hair and taste her watermelon lip balm. The two fragrances mixed together, making him feel as if he was drowning in summer.

Camille let out a groan as his hips ground against hers. Her fingernails dug into his back and her legs were wound tightly around his waist, keeping him close to her. He loved how she felt around him and the noises she was making in pure pleasure.

They had been watching a box set on TV but one thing led to another and soon, their bodies were tangled up together. Their clothes had been discarded on the floor and their hands roamed each others bodies, appreciating the moment.

This was how it should be. No politics, no assassination attempts, no power struggles. Just Drake and Camille being a couple.

Drake pulled her up onto his lap so she straddled him and he leaned forward to take one of her nipples in his mouth. Since she had gotten pregnant, her breasts, which were usually perky anyway, had become fuller. Drake loved seeing the changes. Camille threw her head back as he bucked harder against her. 'Oh god, don't stop, don't stop!' she cried out. She pulled Drake’s mouth to hers and they kissed passionately.  Drake worked her harder, close to the edge himself.

The phone rang.

Drake groaned and glanced at the phone beside them. Camille kept her hips moving. 'Don’t you dare answer that,' she warned. Drake smirked, as whenever she adopted that tone of voice she was more Duchess like than ever.  The phone stopped ringing  and they continued to move as one. 'Drake, you are so good at this..' she breathed into his ear. The phone started up again. Drake sighed and regretfully, he reached out to pick up the receiver. 'We'll continue this in a second,' he promised her. Camille smiled. 'We better.' She continued to grind against him anyway, not caring that he had answered the phone.

'Hello?' Drake spoke into the receiver. His eyes widened and he looked at Camille. She saw the fear in his eyes and stopped grinding. 'We'll be there as soon as possible,' Drake said, his voice shaking. He put down the phone, biting his lip.

'What's wrong?' Camille asked, feeling her heart start to pound in nervousness. Her heart had started to pounded too much lately.

Drake took her hands and looked deep into her brown eyes. 'Please don't freak out.'

'That is a sure fire way to freak me out, what's up Drake?' Her voice was high pitched now. 

When he spoke, it came out in a harsh mumble. 'That was Liam. Bertrand's in hospital. His drink was poisoned at dinner.'

Camille tore herself away from her husband and stood up, pacing the floor. The room felt like it was turning into a blur as tears sprang up in her eyes. 'No,' she whispered. 'No, no, no..' Camille wrung her hands together. Drake stood up and went to her, trying to calm her down. 'Camille-'

'Not Bertrand!' she wailed. Tears fell down her cheeks and her entire body shook. 'He's like my adoptive father, I can't lose him!'

She sank down to the floor with her head in her hands. Drake's heart broke for her. He knelt down. 'Camille, look at me.'

She looked into his eyes, her expression distraught. Drake held onto her tightly. 'He's still alive,' he told her fiercely.

Camille's lip quivered. 'He is?'

'Yes, honey. I’m so sorry, I should have said that first. I’m a fucking idiot. We're going to visit him now. Can you be brave?'

She nodded mutely, clenching his hands. He helped her to her feet and watched her as she started to get dressed. 'It'll be alright,' he assured her.

When they were both dressed, Drake took the car keys so he could drive them to the hospital. He practically gunned it down the boulevards and avenues. Camille stroked her hands on her baby bump, as if to reassure her daughter that it was okay.

                                   *******************************************

They got to the hospital and, typically, the paparazzi were there outside, waiting for their prey. Drake helped Camille out of the car and proceeded to shield her from the press, who were now screaming the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria's names.

'Is it true the Duke of Ramsford has been poisoned?!'

'We've heard he's dead!'

Hot tears sprang up in Camille's eyes as she listened to them shouting. Drake squeezed her hand and guided her through the hospital entrance. They reached the reception desk and the nurse pointed them in the direction of the wing where Bertrand was being kept. Camille broke out into a run with Drake following her close behind. 

Leo, Maxwell, Hana and Olivia were stood around Bertrand’s bed. They jumped when Camille and Drake burst inside. ‘Fuck Montespan, give us some warning!’ Olivia said. When she saw Camille’s distraught face, she reddened and stepped forward to give her a tight hug. ‘Sorry babe. Burst through as many doors as you like.’ 

Camille looked past her to Bertrand. He was lying under the sheets with his eyes closed but she could see he was breathing steadily. Thank god.  Her eyes went to Maxwell, who’s face was streaked with dry tears. She rushed to Maxwell and threw her arms around him, enveloping him in a tight hug. Maxwell smiled weakly and held her tightly back. 

Drake spoke. ‘How is he?’

Leo sighed. ‘He’s fine, thank God. It was a close call but the doctors worked very hard to keep him from the brink.’ 

‘Who poisoned him?’ Camille asked, her voice laced with venom. 

‘A servant poured him the glass. Liam remained at the palace to question them. He wanted to come but we all felt it necessary that he stay behind and speak to the potential suspect.’

‘Wait, we don’t know if it was actually the servant?’ Drake asked in disbelief. Leo grimaced. ‘At this stage, given the rioting, we assume the servant is the culprit as they are not noble. But, that said, we have to keep all options open.’

‘You think it could have been a noble? ' Camille asked. ‘You really think the courtiers could stoop that low?’

Leo sat down heavily on a chair and looked at her seriously. ‘We all know what the court is capable of. The people we dine, drink and dance with are power hungry. There have been countless assassination attempts, many of them growing from inside the palace. I know you’ve only been noble for a year, Camille, so you might not see it yet but just watch. Keep your eyes open and you’ll start to see. You’ll hear the whispers, see the side glances, the way rumours are spread so easily.’

Drake tensed beside her. ‘The court can eat you up and spit you back out again,’ he said. Camille closed her hand around his, remembering the way Drake used to talk about the court. He had hated everything about it. Being made a Duke was a small price he had to pay to marry the woman of his dreams but the title still made him feel sick at times.

'Neville did say that some in court find Liam weak and they understood the reasons behind wanting a Republic, maybe going as far to support it..' Hana remembered.

Maxwell frowned. 'But why would anyone target Bertrand?' They all fell silent. Nobody knew why Bertrand had been poisoned.

‘What’s the plan of action?’ Camille asked, putting her Duchess hat on. 

‘Question the servants,’ Leo said. ‘But at the same, watch those at court.’

Hana’s eyes widened. ‘What if the servants rise up because we’re questioning them?’

‘The wine was delivered by a servant. The servants would expect us to question them, it’s just protocol. But we need to find out who did it and why.’ 

Olivia rolled her eyes. ‘It’s his whole ‘I’m the Duke of Ramsford’ persona. That shit isn’t going to make him popular, especially with commoners.’

Maxwell suddenly whipped around to face her, his eyes filled with fury. ‘Are you saying he deserved it?’ he asked, his voice rising. ‘That because he is proud of his lineage that he had it coming?’

Olivia paled. ‘Maxwell, I didn’t mean it like that-’

‘You did. You’ve never liked Bertrand anyway, you probably think it’s about time it happened!’ Maxwell shouted, hysterical.  Everyone in the room had no idea how to handle this outburst as Maxwell never got angry or upset. He was the life and soul of the party, the eternal optimist.  Camille grabbed Maxwell to stop him from advancing on Olivia. ‘Maxwell, you’re emotional, stop it! Olivia didn’t mean it like that. Shh.. we’re all upset right now..’

Maxwell quietened down and wiped his nose with his sleeve. He felt Hana place a hand on his back and felt comforted. He looked at Olivia, who’s face was white and her hands were shaking. He sighed. ‘I’m sorry Olivia. I didn’t mean to be a dick. I didn’t mean any of what I said. Please forgive me.’ 

Olivia cleared her throat. ‘I’m the one who should be sorry, Max. I’ll leave you be.’

She left the room with her head high but feeling lower than ever.

Olivia helped herself to a cup of coffee. She hadn’t wanted to leave the hospital yet, especially since she was actually worried about Bertrand. She sat down on a chair near the reception area and stared straight ahead, trying to focus her thoughts. 

‘Hey, trouble.’

She closed her eyes. Please no. 

Looking up, finally, she saw that Leo was standing before her. ‘Leo. You found me, as per usual,’ she said dryly.  Leo smiled. ‘You okay?’

She frowned, confused. ‘Yes. Don’t see why you care though.’

Leo sat down beside her, his knee touching hers. She moved her leg so it wasn’t anymore. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward, looking at her. ‘I do care, actually. Maxwell was pretty hard on you in there. I just wanted to check on you.’

‘I’m fine,’ she answered, not looking at him. She took a sip of the the coffee. It was crap coffee but it was black and she needed something warm. She wanted to feel something that wasn’t complete dislike of herself. 

‘No you’re not.’

‘Ha!’ she suddenly burst out. ‘So, are you saying I have feelings now? What a change from the other night when you basically said I was practically a robot.’

Leo reddened. Good, he was embarrassed. 

‘I spoke out of turn. Come on Liv, I’ve known you all my life. I know you’re one of the most emotional people ever. You’re fiery and you feel everything on a heightened level. You just try your best not to show it. Meanwhile, I am the one who’s practically a robot.’

She looked at him now. He did look quite guilty, which gave her a feeling of satisfaction. ‘You are a robot, yes. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.’

Leo clenched his fists. ‘Okay, not true.’

‘I’m right. What’s stopping you from running away from here so you can leave Liam in this mess again? Have you ran out of girls to fuck in Europe so now you’re back at court to try your luck again?’ 

‘I may treat women like objects but I care about my family and friends,’ he told her. She didn’t believe him. She couldn’t. 

‘Why are you here, Leo? With me? You should be in that room with Bertrand and everyone else.’

Leo sighed. ‘Maybe I know how it is to have people think you don’t feel anything. Hell, you’ve just told me yourself I’m a robot. But I know you do care and I know it really hurt you when Maxwell, who is usually like a puppy, started to shout at you. I know you wanted him to stop. That’s why I’m here with you, to offer you some form of comfort. You’ll see nobody else is. Your best friend, Camille? Yeah, I know you class her as your best friend though you won’t admit it. Even she isn’t here with you because she probably thought on some level that Maxwell was right. Or maybe she just thought you would want to be alone. But I know you don’t want to be alone. Only I understand the real you because I am like you.’ 

Olivia swallowed. She wished he would stop talking. ‘We're not alike, Leo. I don't treat people like objects. Why do you treat women like objects? Don't you get tired of it?’

He groaned and took her cup of coffee, sipping it. He gave it back to her, smirking at her shocked expression. How dare he take her coffee?

‘I can’t be tied down,’ he said. ‘Isn’t it obvious? Not even a throne could keep me. I need freedom. I need to be free to do what I want and answer to no one. That includes women and the people of Cordonia. I hate responsibility and feeling like someone is dependent on me. I’m much better by myself, where I can’t hurt anyone. The women I sleep with are just... collateral damage.’ 

'You were more than willing to make me collateral damage the other night,' "Olivia said. 'You had a whole bottle of scotch in your room, if I remember rightly.'

'I did. The invitation is still open,' he answered casually, staring straight ahead.

Olivia turned to him, her eyes blazing. He had ruined their talk. 'Why would I want to be collateral damage? You think I would stoop so low? Go fuck yourself.'

She stood up and Leo followed. 'Liv -'

'Leave me alone, Leo. You'll never have me.' She stormed off down the corridor and entered the ladies room, just to get away from him. She needed to get away from him. He was dangerous.

Dangerous because he knew her so well. She stood in the bathroom facing the mirror and thought about those green eyes of his. Stop it. You are a Nevrakis. You don't become collateral damage. You don't depend on men to help you forget.

                                              ***********************************

Liam sat in front of the servant who had given Bertrand the glass of wine. She looked terrified. She was small, probably around 20 years old and shaking.

Liam adopted his fair, balanced voice. 'So... Sarah. You do realise that the wine you served the Duke of Ramsford was poisoned, don’t you?'

Sarah sniffled , tears welling up in her eyes. 'I didn't realise it was poisoned, I swear,' she whispered. 'My job is just to serve the drinks, I would never hurt somebody.'

Liam nodded. 'You've worked in the palace for two months, correct?'

Sarah nodded, wringing her hands together. 'I've loved it. The palace is beautiful and everyone's really kind..'

'Did you pour the wine yourself?'

'I did.'

'So how did the poison get into the glass then?'

She looked down. 'I don't know...'

Liam sighed and stood up to pace the floor. 'Please Sarah. If you know anything, please just tell me. I just want to protect my kingdom. I want it to be safe. If you know anything at all, even if you think its useless information, I don't care. Anything you know could be useful.'

Sarah bit her lip. Liam could tell that she knew something but he had no idea what. She finally spoke. 'There is a club. A club in the palace.'

'A club?'

'Yes. It's only a recent club and only the few who are radical are part of it.'

Liam stared at her, his heart hammering against his chest. 'Radical in what way?'

Sarah looked at him with tears in her eyes. 'The club wants a Republic and they won't stop until they get it.'

'Who are they?' It was like pulling teeth. She was giving information but not enough.

'Servants and nobles. They're working together to fight for a Republic. I'm so sorry. I don't know who is part of it, my servant friends aren't but they told me about it.'

'Does this club have anything to do with poisoning Bertrand?' he asked her, his voice strained. Sarah gulped. 'I think so..'

'Why Bertrand?'

Sarah tried to grasp for words. 'I don't know.. Maybe because he is the Duke of Ramsford? He is the one who talks about his title the most..'

'If they wanted to poison someone, the most obvious choice would have been me. I don't get it.'

Sarah looked down. 'You are protected by your friends.'

Liam stared at her. 'You seem to know a lot considering you're not part of this club.' Sarah's eyes widened. 'I swear, I'm not! It's just whispers that go around the servants quarters. I didn't know the Duke was going to be poisoned.’

Liam sighed. 'You've been very helpful, Sarah. Thank you.'

She looked at him, frightened. 'Am I fired?'

He looked at her, his eyes giving nothing away. 'How old are you?'

'Seventeen.'

'Go back to your quarters. Maybe don't serve wine for the next few events.'

Relief passed over her face. 'Thank you, Your Majesty! Thank you.' She looked like she wanted to hug him but thought better of it. Liam stopped her. ‘Wait. Can you do something for me?’ She nodded. ‘I’d like you to be my ears and eyes at court. You can see what I can’t. Can you do that for me?’ ‘Of course, Your Majesty.’ Liam bit his lip. ‘Do they have a name? This club?’ Sarah reddened but when she looked at him, her eyes were fiery. ‘Le Club Citoyen Secret.’ Liam sighed. ‘Why is it always in French?’

                           *********************************************************

That night, Camille couldn’t sleep. They had left Bertrand, Maxwell and Hana in the hospital room, having been assured that he could leave in a few days. Still, her heart hurt. She was sick of feeling anxious and terrified of what was next. She just wanted peace. She wanted to feel safe. Camille looked over to where Drake was sleeping. The sheets were pulled down, showing his broad shoulders and chest. Drake always made her feel safe. Silently, Camille reached out and ran her hands up his chest. She roamed his body, watching as he started to stir. ‘Mggggnnnn... Camille?’ Gently, she pressed her fingers to his lips and his eyes fluttered open slowly to look at her. She lay on her side, looking up into his eyes and he gave her a sleepy smile. ‘You okay, honey?’ he asked. She nodded, wrapping her hands around his neck, bringing him down so he was nearly on top of her. He shifted so he held his weight in his arms and he looked down, his gaze penetrating hers. ‘Can’t sleep?’ he murmured.

Camille shook her head. ‘I want to feel safe.’ Drake kissed her gently and stroked her cheekbone, his fingers grazing down to her collarbone and chest. ‘I can make you feel safe..’ he whispered. Camille smiled weakly. ‘You always do.’ His lips trailed down her cheek, down her chest and his hands brought up her camisole top. His mouth caught her nipple and he sucked, before kissing downward towards her hip bones. Camille’s breath caught. This is what she needed. She needed him. He was everything she had ever wanted. ‘I love you,’ she murmured.

‘I love you too,’ he whispered between kisses. He pulled her pyjama shorts down, along with her briefs, and his fingers found her. Camille arched her back and focused as his fingers swirled and twirled, finding secret places. He knew her body so well now. Her hands reached out to pull down his boxers and she was satisfied to see that he wanted her too. He angled himself so he could enter her and she braced herself for the size of him. Drake filled her gently and entirely. She let out a gasp and clenched the pillows behind her. Drake pulled her legs up around him and he ground into her, feeling her core. He moved so his body covered hers and she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer to her. He tugged at her ear with his teeth and she let out a groan.

Camille watched as he moved, his eyes closed and his breaths coming out heavy. Her eyes studied him, like he was a map and she was the cartographer, seeking out everything about him. His broad shoulders, wide chest, his strong arms. The way he held her made her feel lucky and, just as she wanted, safe and protected.

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Arnold Ruelas

Happy Friday! How has your week been? This week’s Feature Friday is local to us, right here in Chattanooga! We had so much fun learning about Arnold’s life and getting a peak into what makes him tick. We found ourselves touched & inspired by his story, like how his “Mexican, Catholic, macho” father reacted when Arnold came out to him, how he started his own business, and how he gives back to his community. We think you’ll enjoy getting to know him as much as we did. Take a look below…

Where are you from? I was originally born in southern California and we lived there for a year. My parents and I moved to Mexico for two years and at the age of three we moved to South Carolina. I grew up right near Augusta, GA in a little town called Edgefield, SC!   

Where do you live? Chattanooga, TN

Instagram handle? @arnoldaruelas

Age: 27

What is your favorite place you’ve ever travelled to and why? I got the chance to travel to the Dominican Republic last summer and it was the best mix of relaxation/adventure. My friend Victoria and I went to Punta Cana on an all inclusive 7 day besties trip. We got the chance to go on a sailboat out to the island where they filmed Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and had a local dominican lunch and took a speedboat back to the resort. We drove dune buggies through the city and stopped at a cave to jump into a 30+ foot deep cave pool. It was so dark and so cold but so worth it! We had the best tans ever and had all the drinks and food! 10/10 would recommend it to anyone!

What made you want to come out? For me it was something that had been building up for a while and one day I just had the urge to scream it out from the top of a building! So I basically did, but via some phone calls and not off the top of a building. I had felt for so long like I had been living a double life and just needed to experience what truly being Arnold was like. I saw friends around me being so happy being gay and open and I thought “I want that for myself”. And I also knew that by coming out I could probably help someone in my same situation.

“…all I could say was ‘Dad I’m sorry but I like men, I’m gay.’ He paused and said ‘Arnold I raised you, I knew.’ And I let out the biggest sigh of relief!”

What was your coming out experience like? I was 20 years old, living in Nashville at the time with my best friend. I was home visiting friends and family and just knew that it was going to happen that weekend. I was in the car with my mom driving to the grocery store I believe, and just had the urge to just look at her and say it. So I did, I looked at her and said “Mom, I don’t like women, I like men. And I mean sexually.” She took a moment and said “Arnold, I love you regardless, I just want grandkids and our bloodline to continue on.” I am an only child so she thought me not having a wife in the future meant she wouldn’t have grandkids. I assured her she would still get grandkids and since then she has not stopped hounding me about it! I couldn’t look my dad in the face and say it so I called him on my 6 hour drive back to Nashville. My father is a mexican, catholic, macho man so I was terrified as to how he would react. I was crying on the phone before he even answered. When he picked up all I could say was “Dad I’m sorry but I like men, I’m gay.” He paused and said “Arnold I raised you, I knew.” And I let out the biggest sigh of relief! After that I told my closest friends and they were all honestly happy that I finally came out, I swear they were taking bets as to when I would do it!'

What did you learn about yourself in the coming out process? I learned that I am stronger than I was telling myself. Growing up in school I was bullied and questioned for “possibly being gay” and would try so hard to hide the real me. When I did come out I decided this is my time and I need to blossom into Arnold. Since that day I have not cared about conforming myself to be someone that society accepts.

Have you faced any backlash since coming out? How do you deal with it? Thankfully I can say that I have not dealt with backlash. It has been the complete opposite for me. I’ve been surrounded by the most encouraging friends and family that have pushed me to become my true self after coming out. There have been little occasions that I can recall where someone made a comment or two about my sexuality but I’ve brushed it off because I know it’s not something that I can personally control.

“When I [finally] did come out, I decided this is my time and I need to blossom into Arnold. Since that day I have not cared about conforming myself to be someone that society accepts.”

Are you religious? Why or why not? Can I answer this one with a yes and a no?! Growing up I was raised Catholic and was at Spanish mass every Saturday with my parents. We were very involved in volunteering and helping out within the church. I do believe in God, but haven’t always agreed with some of the practices of the Catholic church. Being gay and being a Christian for some people sounds crazy but I truly believe God created me and I’ve seen him work first hand in my life.

You started your own fashion styling business! How did that come about? Yes, I did! Right out of high school I started working in fashion retail. Started out part time not knowing what exactly I was doing if we are being honest. Slowly worked my way up and became a retail store manager within a few years. During the process I explored my creative side with wardrobing. I loved seeing outfits come together and seeing it bring joy to my clients. Soon I became known within the company I worked with for my styling capabilities and started getting a following of clients that would book appointments with me! I finally left retail exactly a year ago (Happy Anniversary to me!) and decided to pursue my love of styling and take it out of the retail jungle. Earlier this year I started the process of starting my business by making a few business cards, telling friends about what I do and letting it spread via word of mouth. I’ve been blessed to have met some amazing clients and have them trust me with their wardrobes! I help them with anything from cleaning out their current wardrobe, adding staple pieces, taking them shopping or shopping for them, and recently have been working with photographers and other businesses to style photo shoots! So many great things are in the work for next year and I am excited to see where this new business journey takes me!

What would you say to someone who wants to start their own business? I would 100% say that if it’s something that you are passion about then go ahead and take the leap! It’s so much better to take the plunge than to live the rest of your life thinking “What if?”. Starting your own business can be scary, I know for me I left the only career I knew to pursue my business and I knew I would most likely financially struggle the first year to get it up and running. There’s been some weeks that have been tougher than others but I’ve pushed through because I’ve made it this far and there’s so much more to come. I would also suggest taking the time to make a detailed business plan with a timeline of goals for yourself. Give yourself something to work towards and strive for!

You are very active in the local community. How has giving back impacted your life? What are some ways people can give back to their communities? This year I was asked to be a celebrity dancer in our local event called Dare to Dance and it was such an amazing and humbling experience! The event resembles the hit TV show Dancing with the Stars and all the contestants raise money for the local Kidney Foundation. I specifically was raising money for the Medical Equipment Program to help patients buy anything from eyeglasses to a wheelchair to blood pressure cuffs. I was able to actually meet some of the patients that received some of the money and it was a reminder that my “problems” were not nearly as bad as I thought. It made me thankful for where I am in life, even though sometimes I want to be so much further ahead. Also thankful for the opportunity to be able to give back to the community that opened their arms to me 4+ years ago when I first made the move to Chattanooga. There are many ways to give back to your community that are free and can make such an impact to someone in need. I would recommend getting online and searching local organizations in your area and see what volunteering opportunities there may be. Especially with it being the holiday season there are so many opportunities to help!

Who is your biggest inspiration and why? I would have to say my father. That man is an inspiration to so many people around him. He and my mother moved to the states in their very early 20’s knowing maybe 4 people in the city of Sun Valley, CA where I was born. He worked for 15+ years as a ranch manager on a cattle farm and saved up his money to buy his own 30 acre property to start his own farm. About 5 years ago he started his own construction company along with still running his farm. That man works sun up to sun down 6-7 days a week and never complains. He knows the true meaning of working hard to get to where you want in life and I look up to him for that. I strive to be as hard-working and wise as he is.

[aprilskyforever]

Henny ranks Eurovision 2018 (fifth and final edition, after the contest)

I still can’t believe it happened, that I actually was there. In the arena. I saw 34 of the 43 acts live, from one distance or another. 10 of them from both. Let me tell you this first: Gabe told me before the trip that all acts would be better live, and he was right. Live, even Russia and San Marino were good. But in this final ranking, I’ve taken all aspects in concern: studio before the show, preparties, sound and show live in the arena, sound and show on tv. And for some, it differs a lot between the factors. But i’ll get to that in the comments for each individual song. Now, let’s go!

1 Italy. My winner since the beginning, and it remained that way. I just feel too strongly for these two men and their song to let them be passed by someone else. I can’t do that. Even if Cyprus beats them in staging. Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente never fails to make me Feel stuff, it hits me right in my heart, and Ermal’s voice is like honey and a magnificent contrast to Fabrizio’s raspy tune. 2 Cyprus (+3). When the song was released I didn’t fully believe in it, due to the heavy autotune on the studio version. But I always thought, if Eleni can pull this off live, this can be really dangerous. She never got to prove her talent until the actual broadcast, and I don’t gamble, but after semi 1 I would have placed my bets on her. Flawless staging (my only complaint is that it was tad bit too much choreography in the first verse), Sacha proves once again what a pro she is. And Eleni, what a queen she is! Completely owning the stage. I stand in awe. 3 Czech Republic. I’m forever impressed by and soft for this man. Brilliant staging - when he did the jumps and flips in the end I completely lost it, I was blown away. Very slick staging and performance, and the song always makes me want to dance. Please, Czech TV, tell me that this wasn’t a once in a lifetime thing! 4 Ukraine (-2). Now, I’ll be honest. Albeit a cool staging, the song doesn’t quite hit me live as it does in studio. It might be that I don’t like Mélovin’s styling, that there’s too much going on on stage, that the bass isn’t as heave as it should be... who knows. I love him and I love the song, but there was just Something missing.   5 Sweden (-1). My man! You made me be proud of my country again! It’s funny, because I’ve never really liked Benji before, even if I’ve known about him since... well 2006? But there’s something about the song, his voice and moves, and the neon bed that makes me soften. Being so far behind in televote was rather painful, I must admit that. 6 Germany (+5). This made me tear up when I saw it in the arena. I haven’t lost my father or anything, but this was simply beautiful and Michael filled it with so much emotion, it was so impressive and it hit me right in the heart on an Italy level. It really deserved its high placing. 7 Israel (+8). She really knew how to get the party started. I’ll be honest and say it’s really not my favourite song and I’ve grown rather tired of it, but it will forever be associated with the moment on Praca do Commercio when Gabe realized it had won, the happiness on his face. And the singing along, how we waved the flag, how we danced, how everyone was looking at us. In that moment, I absolutely loved it.  8 Austria. One of the best songs of the year, without a doubt. In one way I understand why it did so well with the juries, it really is that kind of song, however, live, it didn’t really feel that... exciting? Tickling? In a way that a winner does. Doesn’t really hits your most inner core you know? 9 Denmark (+3). This song climbing is all thanks to the audience, to be honest. They made this song grow. All aboard the viking ship! Or as we say up here, alle man ombord! 10 Finland (-4). Still also one of my favourites this year in terms of song only, the Debs are one brilliant duo. Staging was cool, although it was sort of missing a red thread? It felt a little messy? But I still loved it. 11 Moldova (-2). Oh Julija, I’m so sorry to not fit them into the top 10! I promise I still love them, I love the staging, and I’m weak for the song. Only thing throwing me off is the mixing live, the levels don’t feel just right. 12 Norway (+4). This was the first song I heard live and I’m still weak for it. Really a great party starter. Rybak may not be very helpful with song writing tips, but he sure knows how to deliver a performance and how to charm an audience. 13 Switzerland (-6). Oh my darlings, my darlings I’m so sorry... I really wished I could have seen this in the final. I’ll forever be weak for Coco. 14 Hungary (+7). This year’s big grower! If I’m not mistaken, it started out as my dead last because heavy metal isn’t my genre at all. But then I actually gave the song a chance. And in the arena, good lord help me how good it was. On TV, not as much, but this was absolutely one of the coolest acts to see live. 15 Albania (+2). I adore him, I adore the staging for this, I adore the intro of the song. It sounds so promising and always puts me in a good mood, makes me anticipate something. The only bad thing is the chorus, that thing I’m anticipating, it never really comes you know? But he’s Turt’s favourite and meeting him will forever have a place in my heart. 16 Ireland (+4). I’m forever grateful to whoever came up with the idea to make the music video come alive on stage. It fits so perfectly and lifts the song to sky high levels.   17 Bulgaria (-3). It’s Solid. That’s what I’ve always said. Sounds like Skeletons, but where Skeletons is wandering in an eerie forest with a slight feeling of anxiety, yet anticipation, Bones is being more sure of what’s going on, it’s walking with a steady pace on a wide path, not being afraid of what the eerie forest hides.  18 Australia. Oh, she always makes me so happy, and so does the song. But the chorus still sounds like a bridge, and the dancing felt... not really right, I felt she was too alone on stage. Live, however, this was absolutely stunning. 19 France (-9). This is a sleek song, I do like the sound of it, but by now it has honestly become a bit boring. And I’m sorry. 20 Slovenia (+9). Her charisma, choreography and staging really made up for the underwhelming beat in the chorus that had always put me off before. Now, I didn’t mind it. Also a really good live song. 21 Portugal (-8). Everytime I hear this song, I still wait for it to take off fo real, and it never does. It’s so beautiful, it keeps growing, but it never blooms into the full garden that I expect. And that’s a shame. 22 Latvia (+2). Where Croatia did it wrong, Latvia did it right, in a way. Good angles, good song, she made it work by being alone on stage. Maybe she was a bit too stiff and choreographed though. 23 Belarus (-4). You know, I don’t mind the rose, nor do I mind the song at all. His whole performance was alright, but somewhere I understand why I didn’t qualify.  24 Montenegro (+2). Oh this sweet man! The gift that keeps on giving. He deserved better. 25 Netherlands (+15). This song is such a water divider for me. I’ve grown tired of it and him, but then when I heard it live and saw him on TV it actually wasn’t that bad? It’s like I couldn’t resist it?  26 Greece (-1). This is the best Greece has sent since... 2014. Yeah. But the semi was too strong and I’m honestly happy it stayed where it did. However I’m not happy with the fact that This Is Love qualified last year, and this didn’t. But that’s just how it be sometimes. 27 Spain (+6). When 5000 Spanish fans sing along, you can’t resist it yourself. It’s rather sweet, to be honest. 28 Belgium (-1). Whoever staged and styled this number must be fired asap. Sennek looked like a ghost from a prison cell instead of the elvish and sophosticated lady I got to know in the video. Shame on such a beautiful song. 29 Lithuania (+1). Sure, it’s sweet, but it never hit me like it seemed to do to others.  30 Azerbaijan (-8). It felt... plastic. Detached. Without sincereness, if that’s even a word. But do you get what I mean? 31 Armenia. Beautiful, but it just did nothing for me. 32 Estonia. No, I don’t deny talent and I will recognize and admit the staging was stunning. But it dosen’t make up for the fact that I’ve never liked the song itself, and knowing the lyrics sound ridiculous to someone who speaks Italian, it just adds to it. 33 United Kingdom (+6). Also irresistable live! SuRie really is a very talented artist who deserves a much, much better song that Storm. 34 Poland (-11). I’ve always thought this was alright and it has always put me in a good mood, but after seeing it on TV I cringed a lot, Lukas vocals were far from where they should have been and so was his confidence. And Gromee himself? He felt very awkward. Like a dad who crashes his teenage girls birthday disco to dance along and embarrasses his daughter beyond limits. I shrug, in a bad way. 35 Serbia. This song is a bit all over the place and that really does put me off. Like it’s not... bad, but it doesn’t convince me. 36 Romania (-2). Solid, like Bulgaria, but far from as interesting. And what on earth was that staging?  37 Malta (+1). Cool staging, but I’ve never liked the song and I probably never will. 38 Georgia (-10). Sure it’s beautiful, but this song being in Eurovision just feels so... off? And the staging was so uninteresting. 39 Croatia (-3). Franka, darling, why did you have to be so attached to your mic stand? And being alone on stage? Bad choice. Didn’t help to make the song interesting like it should. 40 Iceland (+1). Oh my boy, my sweet sweet boy... you, like SuRie, really deserved a better song. Please come back with that ok? 41 San Marino (+2). So the song is horrible, but live this was actually kinda fun. Not to mention I love the robots with their signs. Amazing. 42 FYR Macedonia (-5). Man... Macedonia disappoints with staging and styling again. Can someone fire whoever is in charge already? My barbara dex winner by a mile, and I never liked the song to begin with either. 43 Russia (-1). You know, live it didn’t sound so bad. But on TV? Good lord help me. And lord help Yulia. Shame on Russian TV for treating her like this.

And there you have it! I had an absolute blast this season and it will, for very obvious reasons, always have a special place in my heart. Now set sail, and cross the Mediterranian, and we’ll see you again Israel!