#I knew that seeing him again would make me emotional

[meownotgood]

I really couldn't even begin to put into words how I feel right now I'm just feeling so many things at once, FUUUCCKFKKKK I MISSED AKI SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[syluslnd]

Hello ! May I request some angst 🥹 You and Sylus are fwb but you love him and later you catch sylus and mc having sex and you leave and he regrets it? Whether they get together or not up to you !

tags-angst no comfort,sylus pov,implied suicide

word count 1.8k

(note-if I went a little off script and you want me to rewrite pls lmk anon,when I get the creative freedom of an ending I always get so excited lol!🥹)

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You’d spent weeks trying to gather the courage to finally tell Sylus how you felt. What started as a casual arrangement had turned into something far more intense for you, with every moment, every stolen glance and every word he spoke weaving tighter knots around your heart. Tonight was the night you planned to tell him everything, to lay it all out and see if he felt even a fraction of the same.

You rehearsed the words over and over in your head on the way to his office, holding onto a shaky hope that maybe he, too, had noticed the subtle shift between you. As you walked down the corridor, anticipation and anxiety blurred together, making your pulse quicken with every step.

But when you finally arrived and opened the door to his office, everything you’d imagined, everything you’d hoped, shattered in an instant.

Sylus was there but he wasn’t alone.

The scene before you was like a punch to the gut, one that left you breathless and frozen. He was with the very woman he’d once told you not to worry about, the so-called “hunter girl” and they were wrapped up in each other, utterly absorbed, not even registering your presence. It wasn’t the fact of him being with someone else that hurt—it was that he was with her, here, in a place that had once felt like it was partly yours, and he didn’t even look at you.

A cold wave of realization washed over you, tinged with humiliation and pain. You’d come here with a heart full of hope and he hadn’t even noticed.

When Sylus finally glanced your way, there was no apology in his eyes, no explanation, not even the courtesy of a break in his actions. He looked at you almost dismissively, a fleeting glance, as if you were nothing more than an inconvenience and then, with a coldness you never thought you’d see, he turned his attention back to her, ignoring you completely.

In that moment, you felt something break inside of you, a part of yourself you couldn’t repair. A thousand emotions flooded through you—anger, sadness, shame. The weight of unspoken words, of all the feelings you’d held back, now felt like a burden you could barely carry.

Stumbling backward, you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The realization that you meant so little to him, that he could simply disregard you like this, was a hurt that went deeper than words could express and as you left, the door closing softly behind you, you promised yourself you’d never let anyone make you feel this small, this inconsequential, again.

Sylus hadn’t planned for it to be this way. A part of him knew he was treading on dangerous ground the moment he let things go this far with the hunter girl, a lingering decision he could already feel weighing on his conscience. But he had convinced himself it was fine, that it didn’t mean anything—and most importantly, that you’d never find out.

But when he glanced up and saw you standing there, his heart sank.

The shock on your face, the confusion—it struck him in a way he wasn’t prepared for. He cursed internally. Of all days, why did it have to be today? Why did you have to see him like this, at his worst? A flicker of regret crossed his mind as he realized the full extent of what this would do to you. He could tell, even from a distance, that your heart was breaking in real-time.

For a split second, he wanted to call out, to explain, to reach for you. But guilt held him back, keeping him rooted in place. He’d never seen you look so vulnerable, so defeated and in his mind, he could already feel the words he’d rehearsed to you, the subtle hints he’d dropped over time—words that, he now realized, had only served to deepen your trust in him. That trust, something he had taken for granted, was slipping through his fingers.

When he looked away to continue the kiss and passion with that hunter woman, it wasn’t because he didn’t care; it was because he couldn’t bear to look at the pain in your eyes,he knew no matter what in this very moment he couldn’t possibly have the correct words to say.

It’s been a day since you’d walked in on him and yet, the scene keeps replaying haunting your mind. You hadn’t meant to purposely walk into his office unannounced; you’d only come by to tell him the truth—that maybe, just maybe, what you felt for him wasn’t so casual anymore. But the second you opened that door and saw him tangled with her, every thought, every word you had planned to say, fell silent.

The memory of it echoes in you. His indifference, the way he’d looked away when he finally noticed you standing there, stunned. He didn’t say a word, didn’t reach out. It was as if you were invisible.

You’d always told yourself you could handle this. You’d always told yourself that this was just a fling, something fleeting. But here you were, alone in your apartment, the reality settling in like a weight in your chest. You’d lost something in that room—something you’d never get back.

It feels like a betrayal, not just from him but from yourself. You’d let him into places in your heart that you’d sworn would stay locked. You’d shared things, vulnerable moments, pieces of yourself that you couldn’t take back. You’d given him everything—everything that mattered.

A soft, cold wind moves through the open window as you sit there, tears slipping down your cheeks. The city lights blur outside and somewhere in the haze of pain, you make a promise to yourself: no one would ever make you feel this small, this broken, again.

You reach for a pen, feeling the sharp tip against your skin as you press down, writing a reminder on your wrist. It’s a small vow but it feels like a lifeline. No one else will ever be given the power to hurt you this way. Not again. You’ll keep that vow to yourself, protecting your heart from the world outside.

The pen trembles slightly in your hand, heavier than it has ever felt before. But this is no ordinary pen; it's a relic of quiet promises and unspoken pains. Not just a tool for writing, it becomes an instrument, a bridge between the ache in your chest and the words you're too afraid to say out loud.

As you press it against your wrist, it's as if you're pouring everything unsaid into that red ink. The curve of each letter, the way it bites into your skin-it's a reminder, a vow you're making to yourself, a way to draw strength from this hurt. It's not just ink staining your skin; it's the permanence of a promise to guard what's left of your heart, a declaration that no one will be allowed to leave marks on your soul again.

The act is delicate yet deliberate, like the slow drag of the pen is creating a map of the pain you've endured, and perhaps the resilience that will follow. You feel the chill of the ink settling on your skin, mingling with the warmth of your blood beneath and the pain sharpens into clarity.

For the first time, in this quiet moment, you realize that the pen has become more than just a promise,It's a knife full of promises sinking into your skin;you’ll never hurt get hurt again from this world that once took so much without asking.

Sylus stares at his phone, frustration gnawing at him as he watches the screen flash with another unanswered call. He’s tried five times already but each time, the phone rings and rings, only to be met with silence. His fingers hover over the screen, ready to dial again, but his hesitation claws at him.

The image of your face keeps flashing in his mind. The look of shock, the raw pain in your eyes—it’s all he can see. It’s like a punch to the gut, one he can’t escape. He’s always been able to maintain control, to keep things casual but in that moment, when he saw the hurt in your eyes, the walls he’d so carefully built around his emotions shattered.

What the hell was he thinking? He thought he could keep things light, just a hook-up, no strings attached. But the guilt—God, it weighs on him like a hundred-pound anchor. He knows you never asked for anything more but the reality of how he treated you after everything—that—had started to gnaw at him. The hurt on your face, that unmistakable sting of betrayal, it’s all he can think about.

Sylus knows he’s not supposed to care. He’s supposed to be fine with this arrangement. But he’s not fine and it’s terrifying, because he’s never let anyone have that kind of effect on him before. But now, all he can feel is the burning ache in his chest, the overwhelming need to hear your voice, to apologize, to explain that he fucked up.

Why aren’t you answering?

He grits his teeth and stands up, pacing around the room, phone clutched in his hand as if it holds the key to fixing this mess.

He doesn’t know what happened. He thought he could just be selfish, just have you, keep you close in his life the way he wanted, without the mess of feelings. But you—you, with your eyes full of trust and warmth—somehow slipped past his defenses.

He needs you to hear him. He needs to tell you that he feels something more than what you agreed on. He just doesn’t know how. He’s never been one to show vulnerability, to let someone see how much they mean to him and yet, for some reason, when it comes to you, he knows he’s lying to himself.

Sighing heavily, he presses the phone to his ear again, dialing your number once more. The ringing sounds so much louder this time and with each ring, his frustration builds. Come on. Pick up. Please pick up.

But the call goes to voicemail and his shoulders slump in defeat. He leans back against the wall, staring at the phone in his hand, fingers curling around it tightly.

He can’t keep pretending this is okay. He can’t keep pretending it’s just physical. The feeling in his chest has become too strong and it’s not something he can ignore anymore.

His thumb hovers over the screen, typing a message that feels too raw, too honest to send. But he does it anyway.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you. Please just pick up the phone and let me explain”

The words feel insufficient, like nothing more than a weak attempt to fix everything that’s broken. But it’s all he can offer.

He throws the phone down on the couch, pacing again, this time with a much heavier heart. It’s the first time in a long while that Sylus feels like he’s lost control of the situation. And it terrifies him.

Now, all he can do is wait.

[hoe4hotchner]

Clung to you | [A.H]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!Reader CW: Hurt/comfort, mentions of injuries, emotional vulnerability WC: 1.4k

This is part of #Teddy-ber hosted by @angellsell

           The world was chaos, a blur of flashing lights, shouting voices, and gunshots ringing in the distance, but all Hotch could focus on was getting to you. His heart pounded as he sprinted through the darkened warehouse, barking orders into his radio. Still, his thoughts were singular: Find you. Get to you.

           You had gone in alone - forced to act when the unsub took a hostage and disappeared into the depths of the abandoned building. The team had split up, and Hotch had ordered backup to sweep the perimeter, but when the radio went silent for too long, that icy feeling of dread crept up his spine.

           He turned a corner and froze at the sight in front of him. There you were, slumped against the cold concrete wall, your hands bound and blood staining your shirt. His stomach twisted violently at the sight of you, but he couldn’t let the panic take over. You were still alive - he could see the shallow rise and fall of your chest - and that was all that mattered.

           His voice was urgent as he called out your name, he dropped to his knees beside you. His hands were shaking, but he forced himself to stay calm, to focus on freeing you from the restraints.

           Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice, and a weak breath escaped your lips as you registered his presence. “Hotch…” Your voice was barely a whisper, strained with pain, but the relief in your eyes was unmistakable.

           Hotch’s heart broke at the sight of you - so fragile, so vulnerable - but he kept his focus on the task at hand. He pulled out his pocketknife, carefully cutting through the ropes that bound your wrists before gently lowering you into his arms.

           “It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing. “I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

           The words felt hollow in the face of what you’d just endured, but Hotch needed you to hear them, to believe them. You were trembling in his arms, your body shaking from shock and pain, but you clung to him like he was your lifeline.

           You could feel his hands, gentle but firm, as he pulled you closer to him. The warmth of his body was a stark contrast to the cold concrete floor you had been lying on for what felt like hours. You were barely aware of the team arriving, their worries being voiced, of the shouting in the background, because all you could focus on was the way Hotch held you. His strong arms around you, his heartbeat against your ear - it was the only thing that felt real in the haze of fear and pain that clouded your mind.

           “I thought-” You couldn’t finish the sentence, your voice cracking as tears welled up in your eyes. You thought you wouldn’t make it, that you’d never see him again, never feel the safety of his presence. But he was here. He found you. He always did.

           “Shh,” Hotch hushed you softly, pressing his lips to your forehead. “Don’t talk. You’re going to be okay.”

           You buried your face into his chest, clinging to him as though letting go would mean reliving the nightmare all over again. Hotch could feel your hands fisting the fabric of his shirt, and his heart ached for you. He wished he could take all the pain away, and erase every terrible memory of what had happened, but all he could do was hold you.

           The paramedics arrived moments later, trying to assess your injuries, but every time they attempted to move you from Hotch’s arms, your grip tightened. You couldn’t let go - not yet, not until the terror had fully passed.

           “Let me take her,” Hotch said quietly to the paramedics, and though they hesitated, they nodded. He knew how much you needed him right now, how the fear still clung to you like a shadow, and he wasn’t going to leave your side.

           He carried you out of the warehouse, cradling you close to his chest, and you leaned into him, your body weak but your mind still racing with the remnants of fear and adrenaline. He murmured reassurances into your ear, telling you that you were safe, that it was over. You were alive.

           When you finally made it to the ambulance, Hotch gently lowered you onto the stretcher. But as soon as your body touched the cold metal surface, panic surged through you, and your hand shot out to grab his wrist.

           “Don’t leave me,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but the desperation in your eyes was enough to make Hotch’s chest tighten.

           “I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly, his hand closing over yours. He climbed into the ambulance with you, settling beside you as the paramedics began working. You never let go of his hand, not even for a second.

           Back at his apartment, after hours of hospital checks and team debriefs, Hotch finally got you settled onto his couch, wrapped in a blanket, you were too scared to stay at your own place. Your injuries weren’t severe - bruises, a few cuts, and a concussion - but the emotional scars ran far deeper than anything physical.

           You hadn’t said much since leaving the hospital, but Hotch could see the fear in your eyes, the way your body still trembled when you thought no one was looking. You were trying to be strong, but Hotch knew you too well. He could see right through the brave face you were putting on.

           You sat quietly on the couch, your eyes fixed on the floor as Hotch brought over a cup of tea. He sat down beside you, close enough that your shoulders were touching, and you immediately leaned into him, seeking out the comfort of his presence.

           For a few minutes, there was nothing but silence. You sipped the tea slowly, but your grip on the mug was tense, and Hotch could feel the weight of everything you weren’t saying, everything you were trying to keep hidden.

           “I’m sorry,” you finally whispered, your voice small, fragile. “I know I should be stronger than this.”

           Hotch frowned, turning to look at you. “You don’t have to apologize,” he said softly. “You went through something traumatic. You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling.”

           You bit your lip, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. “I just - I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t shake the fear.”

           Hotch’s heart ached as he watched you struggle with your emotions. He reached out, gently taking the mug from your hands and setting it aside before pulling you into his arms.

           “You don’t have to go through this alone,” he murmured, his hand stroking your hair softly. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. Everyone on the team is there too.”

           You clung to him, burying your face into his chest as the tears finally broke free. The sobs wracked your body, and Hotch held you tighter, letting you cry, letting you release all the fear and pain you had been holding inside. His fingers traced soothing patterns along your back, and he whispered words of comfort, his voice low and steady.

           When the sobs finally subsided, you stayed in his arms, your face still pressed against his chest as you breathed in his familiar scent. The warmth of his embrace, the sound of his heartbeat - it was the only thing that made you feel safe, the only thing that kept the fear at bay.

           “I’m sorry,” you said again, your voice barely above a whisper.

           “Stop apologizing,” Hotch said gently, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You’re allowed to need someone.”

           You nodded, but the guilt still gnawed at you. You had always prided yourself on being strong, on handling things on your own, but now you couldn’t even let go of him long enough to breathe without the fear creeping back in.

           “I’m here for as long as you need me,” Hotch said quietly, sensing the turmoil in your mind. “You don’t have to do this alone, but you should try and get some sleep.”

           You looked up at him, your eyes red from crying. You nodded, your hand still gripping his shirt, and Hotch smiled softly, gently helping you down in a laying position before pulling the blanket tighter around you.

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The End - Part Five

Note - thank you for all your feedback last week, I’m glad we’re all on team Mason but hopefully our girl has a chance to redeem herself this week 😭 feedback is appreciated like always and I hope you enjoy a bit of a lighter chapter 🤭

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 7.4k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

It seemed like no matter where you looked, Mason's name was in your face. His boyhood club dragging him through the mud and as much as you tried to keep in contact and let him know you were there for him, he was keeping his cards close to his chest.

Mason had been linked with a few different clubs over the last few months, but the name Manchester United was one that seemed to be sticking. You didn’t want to get your hopes up that maybe soon enough he’d be closer to you both but as soon as you saw the here we go you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face.

Mason had messaged you ten minutes ago asking if he could call you but so far you hadn’t heard a thing. Gee was up in her room playing while you were making dinner but as soon as you felt your phone vibrating you turned everything off and answered as quickly as you could.

‘Hey Mase’

‘Hey love, you alright?’ He answered but you could tell straight away how emotional he was.

‘Yeah, fine. You?’ You asked carefully. Hoping he knew it would be okay to talk to you and after a beat of silence you heard him sigh.

‘Yeah, I um… I don’t know if you’ve seen’ he asked cautiously and you knew this was your time to step up and be the friend he’d always been to you. It was as clear as day he needed someone and you were ready to be exactly what he wanted.

‘I’ve seen, Mase’

‘Okay’ he gulped, his voice timid and it made your tummy ache at how sad he sounded.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Dunno, a bit numb to it all I think’ he chuckled but you could tell there was no joy in it. ‘I could really do with a hug’

‘Next time I see you I’ve got the biggest hug ever for you, okay? Gee too, I promise’ you reassured him but you could feel yourself becoming emotional at how he sounded. He’d been through a lot lately but you’d never heard him so downbeat.

‘Thank you’ he laughed ‘I’ll be seeing you soon I guess. We’re leaving the trip early to travel up and I’ve got a hotel for the week but maybe I could pop by?’

‘Of course, you can stay with me the whole time Mase you know that right?’ You offered but you knew it made more sense for him to stay with his family.

‘It’s fine, the club are paying for the hotel and then I’ll be away on tour no doubt. And I’ll hopefully have a house sorted when I get back’

‘Well you know you can come over whenever’. You reiterated and after a beat of silence you could help but ask how he was again. ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Mase?’

‘I’ll be fine, sorry I would say more but we’re in the car’ he explained and you understood immediately that he didn’t want to say too much in front of his family.

‘No it’s fine, listen I need to make Gee’s dinner and sort her out for bed but why don’t you call me later? Like when you’re in your room and we can have a proper talk’ you offered. Not wanting him to bottle it all up and make himself sick.

‘Are you sure? It might be late’

‘I’m sure Mase. I told you I’m always here, yeah? Even if it’s 2am I’ll wait for you, okay?’

‘Thank you’ he whispered and you could hear the emotion in his voice. Trying to gulp it down as best he could before he let you go so you could sort Gee out.

It had just gone midnight when Mason messaged you to say he was ready. He knew it was late and said if you were too tired it could wait until tomorrow but you were high on adrenaline and knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without speaking to him first.

‘Hey’ he breathed as he answered. A little more pep in his tone which made you feel better but you knew this was going to be a hard conversation.

‘Hey Mase, how’s the hotel?’

‘Yeah it’s nice. Feels weird being in Manchester and not staying with you though’

‘I’ll see you soon though, yeah? I’m so sorry it didn’t work out how you wanted it to Mase, they’re complete dicks I swear to god’ you started but you could tell from his laugh on the other end of the line he was feeling better than earlier.

‘Y/n honestly, it’s fine. Yeah it’s sad and it sucks but I’ve had some time to think about it in the car and I think this is for the best’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, like don’t get me wrong It's gonna be weird and will take some getting used to but it’s a fresh start and is not like I’m completely on my own. I’ve got Luke, Harry, Rashy and Jadon there. I’m sure the other guys are nice too but it’ll help having them around’

‘You’ve got a couple of other people up here too’ you told him with a smile and it’s like you could feel his radiating down the line.

‘Oh yeah, who's that?’ he asked cheekily and it was the most normal you’d heard him sound all day.

‘Well there’s me for starters. And there’s a little girl who’s asleep next to me who thinks the absolute world of you and I know she’ll be so excited to have you close by now’ you told him. Usually she would have been asleep in her own bed but you thought she was coming down with something and wanted to check on her so she was currently snoozing away peacefully next to you.

‘Have you told her yet?’

‘No, I thought we could tell her together? You know whenever you’ve got time to come here and I can give you that hug I promised you’

‘How about tomorrow afternoon?’ He suggested and you nodded even though he couldn’t see. Happy that you were seeing him sooner than you thought you’d be able to. ‘I’ve got my medical tomorrow but I might need your help with something after’

‘Let me guess? Is it the fact you look like a highlighter right now?’ You laughed and even through the phone you could see his little embarrassed smile.

‘A little bit’ he giggled. ‘Do you think you could help me sort it out’

‘I’ll grab some dye tomorrow on my lunch break, okay?’

‘And that’s why you’re my best friend’

‘That’s me’ you gulped, the phrase rattling around in your brain a little bit and making you feel uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the fact you were feeling incredibly protective of him right now but the sound of best friend falling from his lips made you a little disappointed for some reason. You shook it off though and spoke to him for a little while longer until he sounded even more himself again before he had to go. You knew tomorrow would be a long day and he needed his sleep so with a quick goodnight you ended the call.

Mason came over at around 4pm the next day and you opened the door in a hurry. Excitedly pulling him into your arms and you didn’t miss the way he clung to you tighter than he ever had. A quiet sob falling from his lips but you heard it loud and clear and it made your heart break.

‘Oh Mase, come on let’s go and sit down’ you told him. Pulling him into the living room and popping him on the sofa but he was biting his lip to keep it all in and you didn’t want him to. ‘You don't have to put a brave face on for me okay?’

‘I know’ he sniffed, but you knew he didn’t want you to see him upset so you pulled him into your chest and let him hide his face. ‘Fuck I can’t believe it’s just over and done like that’

‘They don’t deserve your sadness. Just think of this as a new adventure okay? It’s not the one you’d planned but life works in mysterious ways’ you told him as you ran your fingers over his scalp

‘I know, thank you love’ he mumbled sleepily. Relaxing fully into your hold and you knew this was the first time he’d been able to be free with his emotions and not put on a front.

You both sat like that for about half an hour. Mason telling you all about his medical that took place and you were pleased to find out he’d passed. He hadn’t managed to see many people at the club yet though and he was hoping he could meet some of his team mates tomorrow but before long the inevitable question came from him.

‘Where’s Gee?’

‘She’s asleep’ you told him with a laugh. ‘I should wake her up soon, she was just being a right grump so I put her down for a nap. I think she’s getting a little cold’

‘Ah no, poor thing. Can I wake her up?’ He asked shyly and you were in no position to deny him. Thinking you’d probably do anything at this point to make him smile so you took his hand and squeezed it gently.

‘Go on then’ you smiled. Following him into her room where he carefully tried to wake her up and you had to hold on your giggles at the way he was being so careful not to make any noise. Laying his face next to hers whilst shaking her gently to try and wake her and you watched in delight as her face lit up at the sight of him.

‘Masey’ she mumbled sleepily. Wrapping her arms around his neck so he could lift her and you could see it as clear as day how much joy she gave him. Watching on from the doorway full of love at your two favourite people and from the way Mason was smiling at you, you knew he was feeling it too.

‘Surprise, pickle’ he laughed. ‘I thought you might not recognise me’

‘She’s been calling you candy floss head ever since I showed her the picture of you the other week’ you laughed, walking over to the pair of them so you could brush your fingers through his grown out locks and you didn’t miss the way his eyes fluttered shut at your touch.

‘Well I can’t be candy floss head anymore. Uncle masey is having his picture taken tomorrow so I need to sort the barnet out’ he told her as she joined you in touching Mason's hair. ‘You're working tomorrow aren’t you? Its okay I was just wondering if you wanted to come along with the rest of us’

‘Oh I would if I could Mase, but I’m down a few staff for holidays and if Gee is out of daycare for a day that I’ve paid for she might lose her place’ you pouted but he just nodded understandingly.

‘It’s okay, I’ll just send you updates’ he smiled. Looking back down at Gee who was smiling up at him happily. ‘Come on then, let’s sort this out’

You made him sit on the edge of the bath with the towel around his shoulders as you applied the dye. Gee watching on as you coated his hair and it was good to see she’d perked up a little bit with Mason around. Singing him the new song she’d learnt that day whilst trying to teach him the actions but he couldn’t quite get it and she would laugh hysterically each time he messed up.

Once it was all washed out and he was back to being your Mason, you made a start on dinner so you could all sit together and once it was over you could see Mason was itching to tell Gee his news.

‘Hey Gee, you know how much you love having uncle Masey around?’ You started, watching her little head nod up and down enthusiastically. ‘Well what if I told you we might be able to see him a lot more often now?’ You told her but the reality suddenly hit that you didn’t know for sure if he’d be able to see you guys anymore than he did. He just said he was moving closer and that was all. ‘Well I hope we will at least’

‘Of course you will, I’ll be bugging you everyday if I can’ he told you sincerely but you just giggled at him before he turned to Gee with a smile. ‘Uncle Masey is getting a new house not too far from here so I’ll be able to see you all the time. And we can have sleepovers and all sorts. Maybe I can come and get you from daycare sometimes? What do you think?’

She couldn’t speak much, her mouth full of pasta as Mason was still feeding her but from the way she clapped her hands and tried to laugh excitedly you could tell she was over the moon at the idea.

‘You don’t have to do that, Mase’

‘I want to though. You help me out all the time and it’s no biggie if it gives you a bit of a break. You’ve been on your own up here but you’ve got help now’ he told you sincerely and you felt your chest warm at how kind he was being. ‘Plus you guys know all the good places up here now. You need to teach me the ways’ he joked but you couldn’t wait to take him to all your favourite places properly.

Mason couldn’t stay too much longer, claiming he needed his beauty sleep so he didn’t look rough in his pictures so you let him go with the promise that he’d call you as soon as he could the next day.

You texted him that morning but didn't expect to hear from him until much later that evening though as you knew he’d had a long day but you just stepped through the door, your phone began to ring.

‘Hey, Mase. How did it go?’ You asked excitedly as soon as you answered the phone and you heard his little giggle straight away.

‘Yeah really good thanks, love. We’re just on the way back to the hotel now’ he told you and you could tell by his voice how much happier he seemed than yesterday. ‘Do you think you’d wanna join us for dinner tonight? We’re just eating there but I know Summer would love to see Gee and my mums asking after you’

‘If it gets me out of cooking then I’m all for it. Just let me know when and where and I’ll be there’ you told him and within the next half an hour you were on your way. Lewis meeting you out the front so he could take you to everyone and Gee was quick to run to Summer who gave her a big hug.

Seeing Mason's parents made you realise how much you missed your own. You saw them every so often when you made the trip home or they came to visit but being surrounded by so much love made you feel a little homesick. Gee’s birthday was coming up soon though and you knew you’d be seeing them soon which cheered you up slightly.

You sat and listened as they told you all about their day. Mason chiming in when he could but he was sitting in between Gee and Summer so he had his hands full but every so often he’d send you a warm smile that made your heart melt.

‘Gee, you wanna come up and see my room?’ He asked her as you were finishing up your dessert and you could see her nodding up at him. ‘I’ve got a little something for you up there too if you’re good’

‘What have you done? You laughed but he just looked at you with his usual cheeky smile and you couldn’t figure out what he was up to.

‘Me? Nothing’ he winked, shrugging his shoulders before leaning over the back of Gee’s chair so he could talk to you a little more privately. ‘What about you anyway, have you been good?’

‘I’m always good’ you chuckled. The question suddenly making your neck and cheeks feel hot and you didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed to your lips before he chuckled light heartedly.

‘I know you are, that’s why I’ve got something for you too’ he told you with a wink and you had to look down into your lap so no one could see how much you were blushing at his silly comment.

You bid his family farewell before he took you up to his room. Mason holding Gee’s hand as they walked in front of you down the corridor and your heart melted at the way she kept looking back and smiling at you like she was the happiest girl in the world to be with him.

Mason had that effect on people though.

Once in Mason's huge room, he sat Gee on his lap as you sat next to them as he did his best to explain to her that he was part of a new team now so he had a new kit before producing a little shirt for her. His name and new number proudly sitting on the back and after you’d helped her put it on over her dress she was straight over to the mirror to admire herself in it.

‘Number seven, yeah? Mason that’s huge’ you told him. Your voice emotional and you finally saw it in the flesh but he grabbed your hand and squeezed it gently.

‘I know’ he chuckled. ‘Big responsibility but I’m up for it. They’ve been really good to me, you know? I wanna pay it back to them’

‘Come here’ you whispered. Opening your arms and pulling him into a hug that he gladly accepted and you couldn’t get over how much you needed him close right now. The feel and smell of him brought you comfort more than anything and it was like you needed the hug just as much as he did. Knowing you’d been worrying about him for weeks but now you knew things would finally be okay made your shoulders relax.

‘I got you one too’ he mumbled. The words almost getting lost in your neck but you pulled away with a quizzical look before he was reaching over to hand you another new shirt. ‘I know it might be weird, you’ve always supported me at Chelsea so I get if you don’t wanna wear it-‘

‘Hey, I’m a you fan, Mase. I’ll support you in whatever way you need’ you smiled. ‘Plus I think I prefer the red anyway, it matches my lipstick. The blue always clashed’

‘I mean I think you look good in whatever, but I’m glad you agree’ he shrugged and you felt heat rising up your neck at his compliment.

Mason stayed in the hotel for the next few weeks until he went on tour but you knew he wasn’t happy there. People had figured out where he was and would follow him home from training so when he got back from America and he told you his house wouldn’t be ready for another week or so, you practically forced him to move in with you.

It was nice having someone to come home to, someone to cook for who wasn’t almost two years old and someone you could have an adult conversation with.

Most of the time anyway.

Gee loved having him there too by all accounts, but ever her perceptive self she knew he was about to leave soon and her mood on his last full day with you took a plumet. She couldn’t understand why he wasn’t staying with you forever and she spent most of the day in a mood on the sofa refusing to eat. The only time she came out of her shell a bit was when Mason laid down next to her and put his head in her lap and she couldn’t resist him. Giggling as she tried to hug his head and kiss it sweetly and the whole interaction made you feel softer than ever for them both.

‘You don’t need to be upset about me going, Gee. You know we’ll still see each other all the time. Even more so than we used to, okay? I’ll only be down the road’ he assured her. ‘I can’t stay away from my favourite girl for too long so I’ll be back all the time’ he explained and you felt your heart thudding in your chest during their little conversation.

Mason had always been good with kids, but to see him like this with your baby was something completely different and as much as Gee was moody that he was going, you couldn’t exactly blame her as you were feeling the same.

‘You’re so good with her’ you smiled, watching him blush slightly at your compliment as he came into the kitchen a few moments later. ‘Though I am a bit mad at you’ you huffed playfully but he took your words seriously. His face dropping as he looked at you carefully and you could see the confusion in his big brown eyes.

‘What did I do?’

‘I thought I was your favourite’ you pouted. ‘I know she’s just a baby but I’ve known you longer’ you teased. Trying your hardest to look upset but he saw right through it. Giggling as he grabbed your waist and when he pulled you into a hug you relaxed as he held you.

‘You know you’ll always be my number one girl’ he told you softly. The words getting lost in your hair but that didn’t mean they lost their effect. Your skin breaking out in goosebumps as you tried to stop the giant smile at the thought of still being his favourite person but before you could tell him he was your number one too, he carried on speaking. ‘But since you decided to clone yourself, unfortunately you’re gonna have to share me’

You didn’t know what it was, but the thought of sharing Mason with anyone but Gee made you feel uncomfortable. Your smile dropping instantly as you instinctively held him closer but he squeezed you back just as tight before dropping a kiss on your head and pulling away.

Mason was yours, no one else’s

You remember thinking years ago that you’d have to put up with the person chose as his his own one day, just like Mason had done for you with Jack but now the prospect filled you with dread.

You didn’t want to see him with anyone else. The thought of him touching anyone else, kissing someone else… you hated the idea of it to the point it made your skin feel hot and clammy.

You knew you were being selfish, Mason wasn’t yours and you’d told him you didn’t see him in a romantic way but the thought suddenly hit you that if no one else could have him then what did that mean?

Did that mean you had to have him?

You’d never given being with him much thought, yes you knew he still harboured some feelings for you, at least he’d admitted as much around a year ago now but Mason had always been your best friend and you never really had time to sit and think about how your relationship had grown.

But now?

He was your safe place. Your light in the dark when things were going wrong and you felt hopeless. The boy that made you laugh when you needed it and held you when you needed that too.

The boy who’d taken on your plus one like she was his own and did everything he could in his power to keep the both of you happy and safe.

He made you feel like a family

You loved Mason. Loved him more than you realised or could possibly explain to anyone else as it only made sense to you but the possibility of now being in love with him was smacking you in the face.

He was over by the stove and you turned to steal a glance of him. His brows pinched and lips pouty as he stirred the pot you’d abandoned and you were filled with that same warm feeling. Like he was human sunshine and all you wanted was to bask in his glow but clearly you’d gotten yourself wrapped up in your feelings a little too much until the sound of his voice was snapping you out of your trance.

‘Have I got something on my face?’ He asked, wiping his cheek softly but you just smiled shyly at him.

‘Oh, n-no you’re good’

‘Stop looking at me like that’ he laughed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders but you were thankful that you could hide your face and the blush that had taken over your cheeks. ‘When Gee’s gone to bed, do you fancy watching a movie? Just us’

‘Yes please’ you whispered. Excited about the prospect of some alone time with him and with a quick kiss to your head he walked back over to the stove.

You had a few veggies left to chop so you asked him to keep on stirring the sauce whilst you chatted lightly and clearly he got a bit too confident as he went a bit too quickly and slopped some sauce on the side which he quickly cleaned with the nearest cloth.

‘Oh Mase’ you huffed. ‘That's a clean tea towel’

‘Sorry love’ he gulped, looking more guilty than he should but you just took it from him with a smile.

‘It’s fine, between you a Jack I’ve gotten used to it over the years. Must be a bloody boy's thing to stain everything’ you told him as you chucked it by the washing machine. When you looked back at him though he was facing away from you however his neck was red and you could see his shoulders were tense. ‘Mase? You alright?’

‘Yeah fine, I’m gonna go set the table’ he told you and without another look he was gone.

In typical Mason fashion he fell asleep watching your movie that night so you coaxed him onto your chest so he could get comfortable but you also used it as a bit of an excuse just to look at him for a bit. His adorable cheek squished as he laid there with his lips slightly open and you had to stop yourself from leaning down and kissing him. Shaking yourself out of your trance as a wave of confusion rolled over you and you sat there blankly looking at the screen.

This new found need to comfort him and love on him was overwhelming but you hadn’t vocalised anything yet and you knew you needed a big gossip session with Ell before you took any next steps. The kissing part was new though and you couldn’t tell if you were thrilled or horrified by it.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. Flicking through all the pictures he’d sent your way lately when you were in bed every night but the more you thought about being with him and everything it would entail, the more you realised it might not work.

You didn’t even know if he still felt the same after all these years. Yes you’d overheard him talking to Gee over a year ago but that was then and this was now. It has been years and you’d never shown him any inkling of wanting anything more, at least you didn’t think you had, and you were pretty sure he’d told her that he was learning to move on. He must have done that by now surely?

You were snapped out of your thoughts soon enough as you heard your front door being opened. It was a Wednesday so that meant Mason was picking Gee up from daycare and they were back for their dinner.

‘Hello love!’ Gee called excitedly as soon as she saw you. Storming over as quickly as her little legs would carry her and you chuckled at Mason's bemused face as you picked her up for a cuddle.

‘Love? Have I missed something?’ He asked but little did he know he was at fault for it.

‘She’s been calling me that for the last few days. I think she’s picked it up from you’ you told him. Kissing her cheek softly as you placed her on the counter so you could carry cooking.

‘Oh Gee’ he laughed standing in front of her and she sent him a giddy smile as he trapped her in between his arms that were leaning on the side. ‘That's mummy, not love’ he explained but you weren’t sure she was even listening properly. ‘She’s my love, but your mummy’

My love.

You hoped he didn’t hear the little gasp that fell from your lips at his words or the way you almost dropped your spoon into the sauce you were stirring but thankfully when you finally looked up Mason was still talking away with Gee and seemed none the wiser.

‘Do you think you could help me out for Gee’s party?’ You asked, trying to change the subject so you didn’t fixate on what had just been said and even though he was playing it cool, you could tell he was happy you’d asked him.

‘Of course, what do you need me to do?’

‘Well I was hoping you could take her out for the morning? Ell said she’d come over and help me decorate and then you could bring her over when it’s all done? Like for the big surprise?’

‘Oh thank god, I thought you wanted me to blow balloons up and as much as I love her I don’t think I’ve got the lungs for it’ he chuckled. ‘Oh wait, I thought your parents were coming up, do you not want them to have her?’

‘No that's a surprise too’ you nodded. ‘If she knows they’re here then she’ll be suspicious. I want her to see everyone all together’

‘Okay, yeah’ he smiled, nodding enthusiastically before turning back to Gee so he could plan their day together.

When the morning of the party came Mason was over early to get Gee and once she was all packed up they were off and out. Mason promising he’d message you with updates as soon as he could but you weren’t expecting one half an hour later no matter how cute it was.

You and Ell were the dream team. Decorating your house in record time with giant animal balloons and bunting that looked like giant leaves. You were going for a jungle theme as you’d managed to pass down your love of the outdoors to her, and the most important decoration was the giant giraffe balloon that you had tied to the back of her chair.

Gem the giraffe was Gee’s favourite toy. Her little comfort animal she’d had from the day she was born and she was rarely seen without it much to Mason's delight. Telling you all the time it was a good job he’d found it in the gift shop and it was the best £15 he’d ever spent but clearly today he was out to spend even more.

That's how most of the morning went. You and Ell working away as Mason sent you lots of updates and you wondered if it was because he was feeling nervous about his first time looking after her properly. He had her once a week all on his own but this was for a lot longer and you could tell he was worried about doing something wrong.

Soon enough guests were arriving. Noah and Tommy were the first to arrive as they’d been to pick up the cake and after your parents arrived you couldn’t contain your emotions. It had only been two months since you’d seen them but you missed them terribly being so far away and you always felt whole when they were up here with you.

You didn’t invite too many people, just a few of Gee’s little friends from daycare with their parents and Mason asked if Luke and his kids could pop by so you were excited to have them there. Luke had always been a sweetheart to you and you were excited to meet Anouska and talk to her about the little one she was currently growing.

You’d packed Gee a dress in her bag and you asked Mason to put her in just before they got back. Hoping that the pair of them could avoid staining it if she didn’t have it on all day and as you watched them walk up the drive hand in hand, you couldn’t contain your laugh as he’d kept on her new trainers with it.

She looked adorable though and when Mason walked her into the living room her face was a picture. Not knowing where to look as there were so many of her favourite people in one room shouted surprise but she was straight to you so she could show you her new shoes.

‘Very nice, baby’ you giggled. Kissing her cheek and wrapping her up in a big hug before everyone else came over to say hello and hand her a present. You could have cried from the soft little fank yews she gave everyone and the big smile she kept sending your way. Knowing she wasn’t 100% sure what was going on but she was happy nonetheless.

Gee wasn’t exactly shy, but you could see how much she loved being the centre of attention. Eventually going to join her little friends from daycare along with Luke’s kids so you could start the party games and before you could even think Mason was by your side with the gift you’d wrapped for pass the parcel. His phone already synced to your speaker and you could see Luke laughing at the way he seemed so into everything out of the corner of your eye.

‘Go sit next to her, I’ll do this bit’ he smiled and you quickly kissed his cheek before joining her. Only noticing around halfway through that he had a massive kiss mark on his cheek from your red lipstick but when Lewis turned up he was quick to wipe it off whilst teasing him.

Throughout the afternoon he was the perfect host. Constantly clearing up any mess he saw and making sure all the snack bowls were full. Doing the rounds and making sure both him and Gee got to speak to everyone and you almost lost it when you walked into the kitchen to find him wearing your favourite pink washing up gloves. He was so in the zone as he scrubbed away he didn’t see you looking at him until you approached and you knew his cheeks were burning.

‘Mason? What are you doing?’ You giggled but he just looked at you shyly before going back to washing up.

‘Just getting some of this done so there’s not loads to do later’

‘I didn’t invite you here to wash up’ you laughed. ‘Come on, I know you love a bit of pin the tail on the elephant’

‘You’re not wrong’ he laughed, placing the final plate into the drying rack and peeling your gloves off. ‘Come on let’s 1v1, I bet I’ll beat you’

‘You haven't changed, have you?’

‘Never have, never well’ he told you proudly as he swung an arm around your shoulders and you felt your love for him consume you.

‘Good’ you whispered, the pair of you seemingly getting lost in each other's eyes a bit but Mason ruined the moment by flicking your nose playfully before roughing your hair up.

‘I really like the theme you’ve gone with’ he told you as you walked back to join the rest of the party. ‘Reminds me of the parties we had as kids’

‘I just wanted her to have good memories like we did growing up’ you told him and you hoped she would. She seemed happy enough running around with all her friends whilst your mum fed her snacks every so often and as you looked around the room you knew you were right where you both needed to be.

‘Well with you as her mummy I know she will’ Mason told you. Snapping you out of your thoughts quickly but your eyes welling up immediately at his words. ‘I’m serious y/n. She’s the sweetest, funniest little girl and you should be so proud of yourself. You’re doing such a good job I promise’

‘Oh Mase’ you blubbed. Not realising how much you needed to hear that from someone and you quickly covered your face with your hands so he couldn’t see you cry.

‘Well that wasn’t meant to happen’ Mason laughed. Pulling you into his body so he could hold you tightly to chest as he rubbed your back.

‘Sorry, it just means a lot you know’ you told him and he nodded. ‘In the interest of saying thank you, then I need to tell you the same. I didn’t realise how much I needed someone until you got here and I appreciate everything you do for the both of us. I love you so much, Mase. You know that, right?’

‘And I love you just as much’ he told you softly. Wondering if he still meant it in the way he used to but his eyes were blurry from his tears and you couldn’t tell.

Once the pair of you were presentable again you re joined the party. Mason beating you at pin the tail on the elephant which he was more than happy about and you knew when it came down to just the pair of you for musical chairs he let you win. You still took it though and lauded it over him for the next hour until you needed his help. Taking his wrist and pulling him into the kitchen where he was looking at you with a surprised smile.

‘I’m gonna do the cake now’ you told him. ‘Would you grab Gee and sit with her at the table so I can bring it over?’

‘Yeah? You sure’ he asked with a coy smile. This felt like a big deal to him, like he was the special person who got to share this moment with her but you knew there was no one else you wanted sat with her. ‘Do you not want to sit with her? Or your parents?’

‘No I want you to do it’ you nodded. ‘I’ll only be a few minutes so be quick’ you told him and he was off before you could say anything else.

Once the candles were lit, you quickly chanced a look around the corner to make sure everyone was ready but the sight in front of you made your heart flutter. Mason sat to the table with Gee in his lap but all the other kids were around him as they listened to him telling them all they had to sing really loud so the whole street could hear them and they were nodding excitedly as they got themselves ready.

You gave a quick nod to your mum. Letting her know it was okay to turn the light off before you came in with the cake. The whole room singing to your baby as she clapped along with pure joy written all over her face but when you caught eyes with Mason you were smiling even wider. Popping the cake down in front of her as Mason was trying to teach her how to blow the candles out but she didn’t quite have the lungs for it. Both you and Mason helping her out in the end but you made out it was her and she was pretty proud of herself.

You cut up the cake so there was enough to go around and by the time everyone had a bit Gee happily munching away at hers so you joined her at the table with Mason.

‘Mumma, you wanna come sit with Gee?’ Mason asked but there was no way you were interrupting the perfect scene in front of you.

‘No it’s okay, you carry on’ you smiled enjoying watching him feed her little spoonfuls of cake but as the pair of you began to chat a little more he slowed down and she began to huff. His multitasking skills clearly failing him at this moment and you covered your mouth as you smiled at them.

‘Quick Masey, more’ she told him. Tapping his wrist gently to get him to speed up but he just laughed and rested his head on top of hers.

‘Sorry baby’ he chucked. Rolling his eyes at you at her sassiness but he sped up. Smiling as she hummed in satisfaction and rubbed her tummy like it was the best thing she’d ever eaten but you could tell Mason was missing out so you loaded up a fork and held it up to him. His cheeks flaming as he caught onto what you were offering him but he gladly accepted. Eyes boring into yours as he wrapped his lips around your fork and the moment was more intense and intimate that you could have imagined.

‘I can see why you want me to be quick now, Gee. That's some good cake, huh?’ He asked her, looking away as you coughed awkwardly and began to tidy around you as not to arouse suspicion as you knew you were blushing a little bit. You could see his eyes following you as he smiled softly though and the next time you looked his way you shared a soft giggle.

It was around an hour later when the last guests started to leave. Only Mason, Lewis and your parents remaining as you tidied up the last few plates but Gee was eager to play with her presents so you all sat In the living room

‘Hey, Gee? You wanna come get the surprise with me?’ Mason asked quietly as he sat with her on the floor. She was currently dressed in the vet dressing up set one of her little friends had gotten her as she gave her Gem a check up but with an excited giggle, Mason led her to the back room where she emerged moments later with a bag almost as big as her.

‘What’s this?’ You laughed. Taking it from her before she fell but as soon as you spotted the red box you knew what was going on.

‘Fank you for birfday mumma’ she laughed, clapping her hands as you took the box out of the bag.

‘That’s okay baby’ you beamed. Kissing her cheek as she pulled you in for a hug but soon enough she sat next to you in anticipation. Your eyes flying up to Masons immediately who sent you a quick wink and you dived back in to pull out the green Nikes that matched Gee’s and Masons. ‘Really Mase?’ You laughed but he just shrugged.

‘What? Can’t have you feeling left out can we’ he joked. ‘Are they okay?’

‘They’re perfect, thank you’

‘Thats okay’ he beamed. ‘I got you a little something else actually, come with me?’ he asked as he held his hand out to help pull you up and you practically ignored everyone else as you followed him into your kitchen.

You spotted it straight away. Sitting in your windowsill proudly in a new pot and your heart was hammering in your ears at the sight of it.

‘Is that an orchid?’

‘Yeah, I don’t know what happened to yours but I saw it was missing the other day so I replaced it�� he told you proudly and you felt your eyes sting.

‘Oh Mase’ you pouted. ‘I accidentally killed the other one’

‘Oh’ he laughed. Wrapping an arm around you so he could pull you flush against him and once he had you hid yourself on his shoulder. Feeling his lips on to crown of your head as he peppered small kisses there and the action made you hold him even tighter. ‘Consider this a second chance then’

Thats all you were asking for, all you needed from him.

A second chance.

To tell him how you really felt now. That he was your one and that you were sorry you never saw it sooner and if he let you, you’d make him so so happy.

You were just praying that moment would come for you soon.

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[onim5]

Invicible Pain

Portgas D. Ace x reader

Warnings: Emotional pain. Swear word.

I believe this is fluff and a little angst.

Gender is never mentioned.

------------------------------------------

"If Gold Roger had a kid, we kill him."

"It be a demon child, we would have the marines execute him, immediately."

"Ha! The Marines made sure no such brat existed."

"The last thing we need is another monster."

"Such a brat doesn't deserve to live."

Boink!

"Aw, frick. What was that for?!" Ace asks, frustrated, looking at you and the book you hit him with.

Boink!

"Hey, stop that!" Ace demands. Holding up his hands so he be ready to defend himself.

"No, not until you stop being stupid." You growl, trying to hit him again with the book.

"The hell did I do now?" Ace whines. He hadn't stolen your food. . . . . yet, and when he does, you don't get this mad. Did he perhaps forget something important?

Boink!

"Oh, come on! At least tell me." Ace hiss.

"You know what you're doing!" You yelled. . . . . Ace looked at you in shock. This was the first time you were actually mad at him, and you yelled. . . . Ace felt how he tensed up. He must have messed up badly, but with what?!

"Y/n, I am really sorry for what I did, and I promise to never do it again."

Boink!

Ace's stomach felt like a heavy bag filled with stones. Whatever he did, he deserves this. He deserves death. . . .

"Now you're doing it again!" You yell, hugging him instead.

"Stop, . . . . Just stop with the self-hatred." You plea, hugging him tight. Ace felt blank. . . . . He didn't move. He couldn't.

"Ace? . . ." You call out as your eyes tried to make contact with his. All you found, though, was an empty space. His gaze was somewhere else internally. He looked hollow, but you knew he was full. Full of emotions others had given and created to him. Emotions he himself had stabilized brick by brick.

Ace eyes finally reached yours, his arms hesitatantly started hugging you back. But he didn't say anything. It was the first time someone had said it out to him. That someone had pointed it out. . . . . He wants to deny it, but he can't.

"How did you know?" Ace whispers, his voice barely adiuoable. You could feel his nails dig into you in a desperate way. He was longing for support but never showed or told anyone he needed it.

"I, I can tell. You get that dark gaze on your expression. Ace, I can feel your invisible pain. It's in your aura." You answer, hugging him more gently, more lovingly.

"I'm see-through? Like glass?" He stutters, a feeling of pathetic and failure dawning on him.

"No, you're not. Your really fucking hard to see through. You're solid with hundreds of walls. But, there's small cracks . . . . And, and I know that there's a door. Please, Ace, let me in."

And that's what he did. In his room, on his bed, he laid a little spoon in your lap. Your fingers caressing his hair with so much care and love? Listening to his story. You never gave him a reaction, just patiently sat and patted him. And so, he accidentally told you everything. About who he was and what he have become.

"I'm a monster." He murrmur, his voice broken and bitter. You didn't say anything, but your hands went to his cheeks and rubbed them gently. Ace can't stop the overwhelming feelings inside. He couldn't stop the quiet tears of pain that covered your loving hands. He couldn't stop . . . . . Finally, he tried to break out of your touch, but both you and a huge part of him stopped it.

"Why, why are you doing this? Why aren't you judging me? I'm a crying man. It's pathetic." He scoffs, once more trying to break out of your touch and love.

"Because your words have been mostly lies. Either your own or someone else's. You're a man, but also a human. you're allowed to cry. It is simply natural." You state, trapping his body in a hug.

"What do you mean?" He asks, his large hand grabbing yours.

"People's feelings have created lies, lies that have reached your ears. Their fear for Roger, a man most actually never met. Has created lies and opinions about you. And you have slowly started agreeing and building up these lies within you. It's time for you to start taking down that huge wall. I don't care if it has to be done brick by brick. Do you know why?" Ace shakes his head, his eyes looking at you.

"Because I love you."

-------------------------------

This was inspired by @captainportgasdace. Thank you. - onim5

Masterlist

[concreteangel92]

Do you write angst? Could you write something? You decide 😊

The One Who Never Was

Noah Sebastian x female reader

Warnings: Noah being a complete and utter fuck boy, talks of sex but nothing detailed, breakups, playing with someone’s feelings, gaslighting, love bombing, mental and emotional abuse, depression, co-dependency, unhealthy relationships, fwb, situationship, no happy ending in this story, drinking, self destructive behaviour, let me know if I’ve missed something!

Noah is not a nice person in this fic, if that is going to bother you then please don’t read. I did also picture long haired Noah when I was writing this.

I hope you all enjoy (if that’s the right word for a story like this ahaha) and I’m hoping to get back into my writing this week as I’m not back at work until Saturday (if I’m well enough) and this is the first time in about 6 weeks that I’ve been able to rest and do nothing so I’ll try and be productive with it

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @Ima1986 (never lets me tag you properly for some reason?)

“Hey fancy meeting up today? Feels like it’s been ages”

You nervously sat there waiting for Noah’s response, in your mind already knowing the answer.

You and Noah had been in this ‘situationship’ for a year now, you’d started off as just friends and then one night, it had all changed.

You’d not long been out of a bad relationship when Noah first text you and asked if you wanted to hang out, you knew what he wanted and at first you thought it was a good idea, help you move on from the last dickhead that you’d been with.

“Best way to get over a man is to get under one”

So you went.

After that night, Noah then wanted to date you, he’d asked to take you out for a meal but you’d politely declined as you wanted to stay single longer so you could heal but you spoke about being friends with benefits with him instead, something he was completely up for. Looking back, you had no idea of everything that was about to happen.

•••••

You were sitting on Noah’s sofa, a film was on in the background and Noah was cooking you both dinner.

“What do you think of this?”

Noah had walked back into the living room with his hand under a spoon, you wrapped your lips around it to taste his home made sauce for the chicken he was cooking.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing! Since when did you cook?”

He gave you a big smile and a cheeky wink as he replied “I’ve always loved cooking, it’s even better when I have someone to cook for”

You’d both be curled up on the sofa, eating his amazing food before you’d spend the rest of the night together in his bed.

Noah had this power of making you blush with every word he said, he always made you feel like you were the only woman in the world.

“You’re like no woman I’ve ever been with”

He’d text you first always, told you how he felt about you and that you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Oh shut up!”

“I’m serious, I don’t know how I’ve got so lucky to be with someone as gorgeous as you”

The fact he’d accepted the friends with benefits over an actual date made you feel he would wait for you, that he completely understood that you needed time.

And let’s talk about the sex. The sex was like nothing you’d ever experienced before, he was such a pleasure dom, making sure you were completely satisfied again and again and again.

No man has ever made you feel the things that he did, he was willing to do everything with you.

“Whatever you want to to try, I’m down for it, even the weird shit”

“Weird shit? 😂”

“Any kinks you might not have tried because others think they are weird, I’ll do it all for you”

Noah always held you until you feel asleep, you fighting it, not wanting the night to end.

“Shhh, I’m here”

His fingers would gently caress your cheek while your eyes became heavy, feeling so warm and content in his arms

You’d wish you had longer, knowing that by morning, you’d both be going about your day and then never knowing when you’d see him again due to your schedules.

At some point, during the long into night deep chats, the dinner dates, the small details that Noah always remembered and done, you fell for him.

••••••

“Sorry I can’t today, busy in the studio”

That was it, it was so cold and blunt, there was no warmth in his messages anymore. Not that your heart allowed you to fully see it.

You felt the tears prick at the corner of your eyes as your heart became heavy and you felt the sinking feeling in your gut.

All of your friends have told you to leave him, that he’s making his feelings clear but every time you have tried to pull away, Noah always had the right words to say or a good excuse for his actions.

So you stayed.

And here you were, a shell of the person you used to be, when you first started this with Noah, you had such a spark in your eyes and you felt so happy.

Now, happiness with him was like a drug, he was like a drug. You knew he was bad for you, you knew he was killing you. But you couldn’t stop.

You stared at the screen, almost like your will alone could change the words. You scrolled up and saw it was much the same.

“Hey you about today?” “Sorry I’m working today”

“Fancy some dinner later?” “Maybe. I’ll text you in a bit”

Unless he messaged you…

“Hey baby, you free today? I miss you”

“Yeah I’m free, what do you fancy?”

“You 😏”

“Cheeky haha no seriously, what do you want to do?”

“Come to mine and hang out?”

You knew every time that it would lead to sex, you prayed it would, so you never said no to him.

You convinced yourself that he loved you as much as you loved him. Over the last year, you’d never felt anything like it before.

The only way you could describe it was that whenever you were with him, your soul felt at home. It didn’t matter what you were doing, you could be doing nothing and you were so contented to be around him.

You were always laughing together, you fitted together physically and just overall seemed like each other’s perfect partner.

You saw him for who he was, not this big rock star. You knew the rumours about him but you saw another side to him, a side he wouldn’t let many see. You knew he loved you deep down. Noah just struggled to show it because of his past.

You knew you shouldn’t make excuses for him, what’s the age old saying?

If a man truly wants to be with you then they won’t let a single thing come in between you.

And Noah gave you excuses most of the time, would take hours to reply and then blame it on work. You knew that wasn’t always true but you just accepted the behaviour because you’d fallen in love with him.

You’d fallen in love with the man who made you laugh until your belly hurt, who looked at you like you were the only other person in existence. Noah had recently said that he loved you back for the first time.

••••••

2 weeks ago, the last time you saw him in person.

You’d gone out for a few drinks with your friends and knew Noah was out already so you gave him the invite, not actually expecting him to show up in all honesty.

So when you arrived at the bar so see Noah stood there with your favourite drink next to his, your heart swelled within your chest.

The smile he gave you matched your own, his hug was so warm and for a moment, you felt like the whole world had stopped.

You sat down with your friends, both next to each other and clearly not paying attention to anything else around you other than each other.

In the words that your friend text you later….“A bomb could have gone off in that bar and neither of you two would have known, you couldn’t take your eyes off each other”

You both laughed and chatted all night, it only when you were outside getting some air that you decided to be honest.

“I love you Noah, I know you won’t say it back because you’re scared but I love you”

Noah stood and stared at you for a moment before he smiled and brushed your hair behind your ear.

“I love you too, always have”

The feeling in that moment was indescribable, the man you truly believed you were meant to be with had finally said those words back. He had finally admitted his true feelings.

The rest of the night you felt like you were walking on a cloud, you knew now that everything was going to be ok. All the heartache and loneliness before Noah had lead you up to this moment. To know it was all worth it.

You couldn’t stop smiling all night, even after he’d said that he needed to go, you gave him a big kiss and a hug and said that you couldn’t wait to see him again and finally start dating properly and have a relationship.

For Noah to ghost for you about a week, every message you sent was left unread, all the phone calls ignored.

Every time you felt your heart shatter, how could he do this? Surely not after he’d admitted he loved you? Who can do that?

Your friends were adamant that he was playing you and that you needed to block him.

You sat and cried your heart out, you drank your pain away and tried to find the answers at the bottom of a bottle, you’d do anything to numb the pain that you were feeling.

The feeling of having your whole future ripped away after just being given to you was soul destroying. You have hardly slept, hardly eaten. The weight was falling off your body as the days had turned into weeks.

It was only a few days ago that you’d finally had a response from him.

“Sorry been so busy with work, hope you’re ok”

But when you tried to arrange to see him, you got all the excuses once again. The never ending story of this game of cat and mouse.

You’d even confronted him about his behaviour.

“How could you tell me that you loved me to then ghost me? Who does that?”

“I wasn’t lying to you, I honestly have been busy, I can’t just drop everything for you”

You knew it was wrong, but you still wanted him, you craved him.

••••••

Sipping on the vodka in your glass was the only comfort for you at this moment. You’d text your best friend but of course just had the same old reply.

“Just block him, he’s made his feelings clear, he’s making a complete fool out of you”

You decided enough was enough, you’d walk over to his and see him in person, you couldn’t take this uncertainty anymore.

Walking to Noah’s was almost like a dream, but not the good kind, the feeling of dread was making you feel sick with every step, especially by the time you were outside his front door.

Taking a deep breath, you rung the doorbell, every nerve in your body on edge in preparation for the confrontation you knew was coming.

After a moment, you heard the sound of footsteps before the door swung open to reveal Noah’s tall frame.

“What are you doing here?”

You were sure you looked awful, dark circles around your puffy eyes, hair a mess.

“I needed to speak to you, can I please come in?”

Noah looked annoyed but stepped aside so you could enter.

“I haven’t got long, I’m going out soon”

Your chest became tighter at his words, the excuses already starting.

“Then just be honest with me Noah. What the fuck am I to you?”

He looked slightly shocked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You’re my friend y/n, I care a lot for you, you know that”

You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“Do I? You told me you loved me and then ghosted me! No one is this fucking busy Noah! I’m tired of the games, I want you to be honest with me!”

The tears had already started, leaving a warm trail down your cheeks as you spoke.

Noah seemed to look anywhere but you, not able to meet your eyes as he answered.

“We have already been through this, I’ve just been busy”

“So you keep saying. May I remind you Noah that you originally chased me! You were the one who wanted to date, you were the one texting me and doing everything you could to make me fall for you! And now what? You just can’t be bothered anymore and don’t have the balls to tell me? You scared you’ll lose your booty call if you do?”

The last year was finally catching up with you, all the games and played feelings were coming to the surface, something you could clearly see was bothering Noah.

“Or are you too scared to actually commit because you’re frightened of getting hurt?”

“Are you for real? I’m not scared of anything!”

“Then why?!”

Noah throw his hands up in frustration and paced around.

“Because I don’t want to be with you! It’s that simple! You’re not the only girl I can have or have had! You’re a joke, you’re treating me like I’m your fucking boyfriend and I’m not, we were never dating!”

You stood in shock, how could he say that, although you never had an actual label, you’d been a couple in every way but the title and he knew that, he even wanted the two of you to be ‘exclusive to each other’.

But now it was starting to make sense, why he wouldn’t take it further.

“So you made me feel like I was the only woman for you, why? You told me that you loved me, said you wanted to be with me. Fucking hell, we even sat and told each other about all the dark shit in our pasts! You once said to me that I was the one person you never wanted to hurt!”

Noah’s face had become hard, a sign that he was shutting down from the conversation.

“And I didn’t. I’m not your boyfriend, I never have been and never will be. You’re making this all up in your head and you’re acting crazy. I’d like you to leave right now”

Your body was shaking and the tears wouldn’t stop falling as you stared at him. Your voice came out as barely a whisper.

“Where’s my Noah gone? My Noah would never have done any of this?”

Instead of answering, Noah simply opened the door, void of all emotion on his face. You stood in complete disbelief before you admitted defeat, your pride had already been shattered and you couldn’t take anymore.

You ran out of the door and kept running down his driveway. You collapsed at the corner of his road, the tears never stopping as your crying pulled your breath from your lungs.

You pulled out your phone and found Noah’s chat, the sinking feeling you had was confirmed when you’d tried to call but realised you’d been blocked.

You couldn’t wrap your head around it, your Noah, the man who made you feel so special and loved could never do this. Where was he?

•••••

The days turned into weeks, turned into months and the heartache never stopped.

Noah had ripped out your heart and broken you as a person. Your friend’s were always concerned for your mental state as you tried to navigate a life without him without any closure.

You didn’t see him again, unless it was online, but you knew he was just fine. Every time you saw his photo, he looked so happy and care free, he was living his dream, the band was starting to go viral and you knew this was only the beginning.

The rumours of who he was dating of course started to spread, each one like a knife to your heart.

You never got the closure your mind needed, you had to move on with no answers. Trying to piece yourself back together.

It was the hardest break up you’d ever gone through, and although others may say “well you weren’t actually together”

That was worse, he was the man you had completely fallen in love with, who never truly loved you back but made you feel like he did.

Noah was the one who never was.

[beanarie]

here's another scene for the fic i posted a day or two ago. alternate title: rip philip buckley.

the messenger part two

"I don't want to go," Evan said.

Tommy glanced up from the flight listings on his tablet. Since finishing his delayed shower (alone), Evan had perched on the far end of the bed with his back turned. "All anyone there knew was a nineteen year-old who failed at everything. It- It was never home."

Tommy put the tablet aside. "Evan, I don't give a shit if you go or not." That was blunt even for him, bordering on cruel, but Evan gave a watery laugh. He heard what Tommy didn't say. You're the only thing I care about. Make the decision that's right for you.

Evan made a sad sound and crawled into Tommy's arms. "She's going to be so much," he grated out, his head against Tommy's chest. It wasn't comfortable. Evan ran warm as a baseline. Tonight he felt like he had a fever. "I don't think I can handle it. But I can't- I can't do that to Maddie. What kind of garbage person would make her deal with that alone?"

Tommy ran his fingers through Evan's damp hair. "Maddie won't be alone." Her husband was literally one of the best people Tommy had ever met. Howie had grabbed her hands the instant she and Evan had separated, and hadn't let go of her the entire time. He'd still been holding on when they'd left, Evan bringing up the rear toting a sleeping Jee-Yun.

"Not the same," Evan said, which was true, but Tommy didn't care, not right then.

Tommy looked over at his buzzing phone. "Listen-"

Evan didn't shake. He vibrated, a low level hum throughout his body. "Just let me pretend for a minute that we're not going."

"Okay."

One hand made a loose fist, gathering the fabric of Tommy's shirt at the small of his back. "We're gonna stay here on the other side of the country while they bury my dad. I won't have to hear my mom crying like her heart is in worse shape than his was. No one will tell me I'm a bad son who never came to visit."

Tommy rested his chin on the top of Evan's head. An angle his neck didn't enjoy, but it was worth it. "If anyone so much as thinks that in your direction, I will punch them in the throat."

Evan ran his fingers down Tommy's forearm. "They didn't even tell us he was having surgery."

"Would it have helped?" Tommy asked in all sincerity. They'd both witnessed death numerous times. Was it better when loved ones could see the loss coming? Not always.

"I don't know," Evan admitted. "But things were- they were better, you know? We talked on purpose sometimes and it went fine. I don't understand why they didn't at least tell Maddie."

"Do you think she'll try to throw it in your face at some point?"

Evan flinched, proving Tommy's guess had hit its mark. "God, I- I hate thinking of her that way. She's my mom."

"Motherhood doesn't come with emotional regulation, unfortunately."

"She was better," Evan said again. He exhaled loudly. "Maybe it- it won't be so bad."

"Maybe. I'm here regardless."

After a moment of silence, Evan lifted himself up with a hand on either side of Tommy's hips. They kissed quietly, and he laid his forehead on Tommy's shoulder. "What did I do," he asked, almost to himself. "What did I do to deserve you?"

If pressed, Tommy could rattle off a list. But Evan didn't need to hear about his willingness to set himself on fire for someone he loved, or about how he could see in a glance that Tommy was having a bad day, about how quickly he'd learned what Tommy needed at times like those. "You were you. That's all you ever needed to be."

[ikamigami]

Nxbxbbcbcbcbnxbxbxn

Today's episode heavy breathing was just everything

Moon shouldn't wait till Sun run away to go to him..

But I think that he just needed some time to think what to say..

Cause I knew it! He said to Solar that he said what was needed to be said.. which definitely implies that Moon was afraid that he'll say something insensitive or start yelling at Sun bxbxbxbbxbx

He didn't want that..

And yeeeessss Moon finally realized that no one expects him to fix everything QwQ

And that Sun doesn't need him.. and even if Moon might have said that because he hates himself..

I think that in this situation he meant that Sun isn't going to die without Moon because he's so dumb etc..

I think that Moon finally distanced himself from.. himself.. (edit: cause actually yeah after thinking about it more it really was more about how Moon hates himself and that Nexus was better and that Sun shouldn't choose him but Nexus that's why he said that Sun doesn't need him nxnxnnxnxnxn I was happy too quickly QwQ)

Hdndnndndnndndndn

Which allowed him to see Sun for who he is.. for how awesome brother Sun is.. and to why Sun loves Nexus and that's why he said that he would still be Sun's brother even if Sun loved Nexus more than him and even if Sun chose Nexus to live because he regretted killing Nexus bxbxbxbbxbxb QwQ

I'm so happy that despite Moon being afraid to be left by Sun he put Sun's feelings first.. he was considerate about Sun's feelings QwQ bxbxnxnnxnxnxn

Moon really is trying his best.. it makes me so emotional QwQ 💞

Also Lunar whyyyyy jxnxnxnxnnx

Yes Sun shouldn't be held captive but Lunar should still know where Sun is or if he's away for a long time he should call him or something..

Like Sun shouldn't go out or be left alone for too long.. not in this state..

I hope that Solar and Moon will have a talk and Moon will apologize for getting to upset at Solar especially cause Solar told him such a nice thing and he was right that Sun needed to talk to Moon QwQ

And now onto Sun..

Hooo boi..

Sun can't hate Nexus which is not surprising to me at all..

And ofc Sun said that maybe he doesn't need Moon but he wants him in his life.. which I always knew..

And I think that this is exactly what Dark Sun was unable to understand.. or maybe he understood this while talking with Moon?

But at the same time I'm still angry that he traumatised Sun so much with forcing him to choose to kill his brother and that I think that he knew that Ruin put that bomb in Nexus' chest which is why Sun's magic killed Nexus bxbxbbxbddn

But the most important part I wanted to point out from today's episode is that Sun didn't agreed nor accept Moon's words of support nxnxnnxnxnxnxnxn

Which means that Sun doesn't agree with Moon that he's a good brother QwQ

He also still doesn't want to shout out what weigh on him..

And he didn't thank Moon bxbxbbx

Cause I think that Nexus' words truly felt like proof to Sun.. proof that he's a terrible person actually..

This is so awfully relatable..

Cause at first I thought that maybe it'll be the time for Sun to open up but noooo

And it's so relatable QwQ

Sun wanted to have Moon as a brother.. he wanted to have Nexus as a brother.. he wanted to have a family..

Damn it QwQ

And I only say that Nexus is damn liar xnnxnxnnxnxn (cause I watched the podcast)

I think that he blames everything on Sun cause it's easier to hate a person he loved the most..

Like no one knows that Nexus had that vivid dream - except Monty bxbxbxbbxbx

No one knows that Nexus was afraid of Sun dying..

Nexus was so worried but his worries were constantly ignored..

This is what is the most sad thing to me.. that Nexus never talked to Sun about anything..

They both loved each other so much and yet..

And also ha ha I don't believe that Nexus wanted to kill Sun the most..

Such bs when he never even hurt Sun at all - physically I mean..

I'll die on the hill that Nexus actually cared deeply about Sun but he was just confused..

It's not Sun's fault.. again..

And also people completely forgot that Moon's computer constantly was comparing Nexus to Moon - saying that Nexus is dumb compared to Moon and it tried to and downloaded all the knowledge into Nexus' head..

But no "it was all Sun bla bla bla"

Nexus never wanted to talk to Sun about anything.. he only yelled so Sun stopped mentioning Moon..

Maybe if Nexus talked with Sun like a normal person.. then maybe he'd learn that Sun still loved Moon despite all the abuse.. and then if he allowed Sun to talk about the past and grieve and move on and also talk about his own insecurities etc then Sun would definitely apologized and he'd give Nexus space to be his own person..

But also he actually gave him that space.. he saw how much Solar was making Nexus happy so he didn't bother them.. but also Nexus is such a liar cause he obviously enjoyed playing games with Sun.. they had so much fun.. he wasn't threatening Sun like Moon used to do.. and also Sun never wanted Nexus to fix everything.. and definitely not on his own..

And I think that Nexus knows that..

But I think that the fear of Sun dying was too much so it broke Nexus..

And it was easier for him to hate Sun then even admit that..

Nexus knows that he wasn't the best to Sun like he claims himself to be.. but he can't admit his wrongs..

Just like Moon used to do..

Solar was right that Nexus isn't that much different from Moon but he doesn't want to admit it..

And yet Nexus claimed to be the Moon cause he called Moon a knockoff..

I think that Nexus loved Sun deeply but he also couldn't admit to being wrong..

His ego is what destroyed him actually..

That's why he acted like Creator.. cause I was thinking for quite some time that the more egotistic Nexus was the more he acted like Creator.. cause Creator made them.. so he became like Creator who is a pure ego..

And also Nexus saying that Sun would probably purposely hurt him.. yeah sure Jan keep lying to yourself..

Like they say whatever makes you sleep better, right Nexie ^^

Poor Sun loves Nexus so much yet he has to suffer now because Nexus pretended till the end that he never cared and hates Sun 🥺😭💔

[betweensnores]

Dissonance

A/N: My first post! I wanted to create an MC-centric drabble about her emotions after the incident and also the what ifs of her being able to remember bits of her past life, like how would it affect her now? Also this is my first fic for a while, and English is not my first language so expect errors lol TW: None that I know of, MC is grieving. Mentions of death. Unedited and posted via mobile. Might be ooc in some parts but most are canon compliant hehe

Grief embraced me coldly. It stuck with me like moth to a flame. 

The sterile scent of Akso Hospital did not help in calming my nerves. I sunk further into my seat, trying to make myself smaller as I held my patient file close to me. The only comfort that the regular Hunter checkups brought me was not about getting normal results – it was the gentle demeanor and the still, inscrutable nature of Zayne. 

I know of his fondness for me. This Zayne. And the previous one. And the one before him. And eventually, the Zayne that will come after him. 

The memories of my soul came to me in dreams after meeting the crimson-eyed man who ruled the N109 Zone. 

In a deep slumber a day after coming back to Linkon City, I saw a man donning a blue robe with intricate details. He was holding a staff. In the dream, I see his mouth was moving, but I did not understand what he was saying. I could only understand the tugging of my heartstrings as soon as I realized the face that this man has was Zayne’s. 

That was the first, and it did not stop there. Night after night, my soul showed me memories I did not make myself — rather, it was the previous me, in varying timelines. With the same men. With the same fates. The moment I understood what the dreams were was the moment my grief was solidified. 

It felt like the sky fell on me, with the clouds purposely suffocating my senses and the stars scraping the skin of my back. 

Before I could drown in my despair any longer, my name was called.

Zayne’s office did not change, save for the multiple files that never seemed to dwindle on his desk. 

“Looks like someone is keen on following the regular check-in schedule this time.” He says without looking at me, typing away at his keyboard. The results were all normal, I was told. I looked at his hands, distracted — at the old and the new scars that decorated his skin. Hands that saved countless lives and will save many more.

“I had to, it was the only sense of normalcy I have in my life at the moment.” I meant to say it to lighten up the mood, but Zayne brought his attention to me with a soft look on his face. He knew of the baggage I carried, of Grandma and Caleb, of the incident back at home and of the files Grandma left about the Aether Core. 

“I have a free hour after this, let’s have something to eat together.” He begins placing the files back into the folder. Thank you, I wanted to say. Instead, I smiled at him. It reached my eyes for the first time today. 

The air conditioning at the Association’s office beat down harshly on my skin. I wrapped the fleece blanket I brought with me to work this morning, thankful that I had not forgotten to bring it. “So,” I started, glancing sideways at my mission partner, Xavier, who sat next to me. He leaned back on the office chair, arms crossed. Any minute now I know he would fall asleep. 

“That Wanderer, can you describe it to me again?” I can finish the mission report on my own. Usually, after missions, I let him dose off while I typed away our analysis. But somehow, today, I cannot seem to gather my thoughts, the words failing to leave from the back of my mind and form coherent and decent sentences to properly convey what happened to our mission. 

I felt his eyes on me. Guilt gnawed on my chest, eating away at my nerves. My skin felt colder than before. I also know of him, of the blonde man who wanted to save those he held dear. Eyes bluest of blue. 

He took one of the takeout coffee cups, choosing to remove the lid and brought it to his lips. The air smelled of it, my senses welcoming the scent. I once again jammed the ‘backspace’ key repeatedly. I did not notice I was typing gibberish. 

I hear him re-tell his observations to me, ever so calm and collected, in a voice that belonged to a prince. My soul’s memories showed me of a star tassel, of a distant planet, his home, and a queen who awaited for his return.

I see him reach to me in my peripheral vision, and my body involuntary jolts just before his fingers touched my shoulder. “Your blanket fell off. I was going to fix it for you. Sorry.” He huffed out a small laugh, amused at my reaction. It was a pleasant sound. 

His newest art stood tall against the light of the sunset. His studio gave the best views at this time of the day. 

Rafayel, who was sifting through his brushes, looked up to see me come through the door. He shot me a relaxed smile, a few streaks of paint graced his skin beautifully. 

“Hi,” I say, placing my bag down as I approached him. “Just checking in on you, don’t want Thomas to blow up my phone if I don’t give him an update today.” I managed to chuckle. “He wants me to take a photo of you as proof of life.” 

He grinned at that statement, standing up to his full height. “Well, let’s not keep him waiting then.”

My smile did not leave my face, shaking my head as I pulled out my phone to take a quick photo. I see him pose through my phone’s camera. He is captivating. I sent it to Thomas, feeling Rafayel look over my shoulder to see. 

“Done.” I looked up to see him already gazing at me, my breath caught in my throat at the closeness. I felt my ears getting hot. I hope he doesn’t notice, I think. But nothing gets past him — He let out a small, silent laugh. His massive studio suddenly feels cramped.

“I ordered some donuts for a change, that famous bakery launched new flavors today.” Thankful for the diversion, I followed him to the kitchen. 

“Help me eat them, Miss Bodyguard.” Two boxes lay on the pristine countertop. I hear him talk more as I help prepare our refreshments. 

His was a story of a being stripped of his divinity. I knew of the complex emotions he felt towards me. The memories in my dreams showed me, albeit doing nothing but hurt and remind me of my mortality. If I was him, I would feel that way too. Maybe even think of leaving it all behind and start anew with somebody else.

I feel the same guilt from earlier today while I listen to him. Every lilt of his voice, every syllable he spoke — He’s happy I came by today, I thought to myself. I sat down. We talked about our day, his new collaboration with a famous brand, my discoveries during my mission, the upcoming Linkon City events, and more. 

During the lull in our conversation, I absentmindedly fiddle with Caleb’s necklace. I began carrying it with me shortly after the incident, wanting to keep a part of them with me at all times. The material was cold on my fingertips. 

I can feel Rafayel’s watchful gaze. “You know you’re always welcome to my studio, right?” You don’t need to keep it all to yourself.

“I know.” 

The uncrowned king of N109 Zone is full of surprises. At exactly 10 PM, he appeared on my doorstep. 

I had exchanged messages with him earlier today that I would not be able to visit him. My day was long and my thoughts are plaguing me more than I care to admit. They are like flies and I, the corpse.

He made himself welcome in my home. I watched him lazily as I lounged on the couch, a half eaten biscuit lay forgotten on the coffee table after my shower. 

“You smell nice.” He jests, eyeing my damp hair and the pajamas. My eyes stared at the takeout box he was holding. I pointed at it. 

“Our dinner.” He casually says. I made space so he can sit comfortably. Our thighs are  pressed against each other. You feel warm, I wanted to tell him. It’s nice to stay like this. 

I thanked him, and indulged myself with the food that he brought. We ate in comfortable silence. I steal glances at him. He was wearing his gray sweatshirt today. He looks bewitching, his presence a hypnotizing sensation that I allow myself to get pulled into. 

“Mephisto says you cried today,” He muttered. It was out of character for him. He always spoke so surely. The head of Onychinus is a force to be reckoned with, but the man next to me is just a man with melancholic feelings. 

“Ah, the bird snitches on me.” I reply, laughing a little. He seems to choose his next words carefully. “No one can tell you how you should feel, not even me. I’m just here to remind you that you are free to come and go from the N109 Zone, you will not be hurt. I’ll make sure of it.” 

I don’t know what to make of his expression. All I know is that wherever I go — if Sylus is with me, I am safe. 

The dreams about him hasn’t come yet. I dread the moment that my soul will reveal what I was to him. What I did to him. The vision I saw when we first met was a snippet of what could have possibly happened. But the blood that has tainted my skin, is blood that my soul will carry. 

I look at him with silent gratitude. I lean over and let my forehead touch his shoulder. I fear for the worst.

[skiitter]

Ellana looked for Solas everywhere, in every shadow and alleyway of Thedas, at every ephemeral border of her dreams. She hunted him through time, through the annals of her own ancestral history, down through the last long decade of her too short life. She searched for even the echo of his presence in places too old and too broken to be named. And in every corner, through every door, across every dusty room, she found nothing. He was a ghost of a memory, something she stole and kept pressed to the edge of her ribs, just painful enough to remind her it happened.

As the years and the emptiness of her life shuffled on, Ellana's loneliness blossomed outward, consuming the gentler parts of her, until all that was left was bitter and ugly, the refuse of all her wasted hope. And so, for the sake of what life she had life, she set aside that aching desire, and refocused her grim determination on solving problems that he created. If Solas would not have her now, just as he did not keep her then, then so be it. He broke her heart, but she would not let him break the world.

She never expected to see him again, not in this life anyway, and most certainly not in the face of a stranger, in a tavern far, far away.

"This," Morrigan said, "is Rook."

Afterwards, her hand shook for want of something to cling too. The wolf statue she'd given to Thedas's newest champion was all she'd brought on her journey, and so it was to her own miserable shock she was forced to clutch.

"So, what did you think of her?" Morrigan asked upon their return to the south.

'I hate her' was the very first thought in her head, but Ellana pushed it aside for something appropriate, something fair. "She's so young."

Morrigan nodded. "Tis true, she is. But so was the Warden Amell, so was Varric's beloved Hawke," she paused. "So were you."

Ellana felt every second of her 36 years hit her all at once and she failed to keep the grimace from her face. "She's not Dalish, despite her name. I was expecting her to be more..." She could hear the word 'elfy' in Sera's voice as clear as day. "It must drive him mad."

"Oh, I'm sure many things about her do. She's quite obstinate, I'm told." Dorian stepped through the Eluvian after them, brushing imaginary fade-dust from his tailored robes. "Harding says she reminds her of you, all spitfire and stubborness."

It wounded like nothing had in a decade. It was a feeling so far removed from her repertoire of emotions, she didn't dare name it until safely alone in a room, far from prying eyes and clever sight.

Jealousy.

It's so base, so sincere in its immaturity, Ellana smiled despite the revelation. Jealousy, now, at the end of the world. How small it felt before the onslaught of things sure to come, how useless. But it was felt all the same. What a ruin the last decade had made of her pride, the irony of which she was unable to ignore. It would be better, she knew, if she did not love him. It would be easier, she knew, if she hated him. And yet.

And yet.

"El, darling, I've brought you some very expensive and fancy wine that you will pretend to enjoy and I--" Dorian trailed off at the sight of her hunched over in bed, sobbing quietly into her hands. "Oh, Ellana." He did not ask, no one ever did anymore. Instead, he sat down and drew her to him.

"It's not fair," she said into the crook of his neck. "It's not bloody fair."

"Love never is."

"It should be me, sifting through his fractured thoughts, demanding answers and receiving none. A decade of my life, Dorian. A decade. And it's just some--some girl instead." Ellana scoffed in disgust at her own fallible heart. "Her people, they live in his--his home--they--they are sat among his things. They--" She scrubbed at her face, pulling away. "I am so sick of missing him, of wanting answers to a question I asked years ago."

"I know."

"Does this make me foolish? All these years, and I'm still so heartbroken. I'm responsible for the safety of a thousand people and one man, one stupid and prideful man, has weakened me so utterly I cannot help but hate what I've become." Ellana looked at him. "I hate that I hate her. I hate that she was able to succeed where I failed."

"She's only where she's at because of Varric--"

"I spent years thinking of ways to make him stop, for just moment, to just listen to me. And now, she's got him trapped. Trapped and unable to run and I cannot even demand an audience after all this--this searching. He's just as unreachable to me now as he's ever been."

Dorian was at a loss for words, as nearly everyone was when presented with the ugly wound of her heartache. She did not begrudge him such things, nor did she push away his attempts to comfort. Instead, she cried for a while more, just for the posterity of feeling.

"Sorry," she scrubbed at her face after some time. "It's been a long day."

"It's been a long decade," he said gently. "Would you like some company or is this a 'wallow in your own loneliness' sort of evening?"

In response, she grabbed the bottle from him and took a heavy swig. It was impressively dry, like all Tevinter wine. With a grimace, she handed it back. "Company, definitely."

Several cups and not enough food later, the two of them sat before the small fireplace, having lapsed into companionable silence. He had just finished telling her of his recent run in with Vivienne and at the mention of their old friend, her thoughts were inevitably cast back in time to the Dread Wolf.

"I can see him in her," she said softly. "I see Solas in her expression, in the way she carries herself. It's...it's agonizing."

Dorian reached out and took her hand.

"She's so young and the weight of the entire world is on her shoulders. I know that feeling, I know how hard it is going to get," Ellana sighed. "I cannot begrudge her for things wholly out of her control."

"It is okay to hate her, even if it is only a little bit," he replied. "I won't tell."

"I know." She gave him a sad smile. "Maybe at the end of this, on the other side of all this carnage, I can ask her to tell him that I..." There was no word to properly encapsulate the sumtotal of everything she felt for Solas. "That I miss him, even now. And that if he ever wanted to talk, I will always be here to listen."

"He doesn't deserve your heart, Ellana, he never has."

"I know, but it's his anyway."

[oldsoul007]

Haunted

charlie mayhew x reader

summary: Charlie seems to be haunting you so you must be haunting him

Charlie and I had once been inseparable, our relationship full of passion and dreams for the future. We spent years together, growing and learning from each other. However, as time went on, our paths began to diverge. We eventually went our separate ways.

Years later, I found myself attending a wedding at a quaint church in a small town. As I entered the church, I was struck by a familiar presence. There, standing at the altar, was Charlie. He was now a priest, his demeanor serene and composed. My heart skipped a beat as memories of our time together flooded back.

After the ceremony, I approached Charlie, feeling a mix of curiosity and old emotions. "Charlie, it's been so long," I said, my voice trembling slightly.

Charlie looked at me, a gentle smile spreading across his face. "Y/n, it's good to see you," he replied warmly. Despite the years and the changes in our lives, the connection between us was still palpable.

“I’d love to get together, catch up a bit?” I asked. “Me too y/n, meet me here later tonight.” He smiled.

We spent the evening catching up, sharing stories of our separate journeys. While Charlie spoke of his calling to the priesthood and the peace he had found, I couldn't help but notice the familiar glint in his eyes. The feelings we once shared were still there, lingering just beneath the surface.

As we parted ways that night, I couldn't shake the feeling that our story wasn't quite over. And Charlie, though bound by his vows, couldn't deny the unresolved emotions that seeing y/n again had stirred within him.

I couldn't shake the feelings that had been growing inside me. Every time I saw Charlie, my heart would race, and I felt like I was being haunted by my own emotions. We stole glances at each other whenever we thought no one was looking, our eyes meeting with a mix of longing and regret.

Charlie felt it too. As a priest, he knew he could never act on the feelings he had for y/n. It was a constant battle between his duty and his heart. He found himself thinking about her more than he should, each stolen glance only deepening the ache inside him.

We both knew it was impossible. Our roles in life meant we could never be together, and yet, the connection between us was undeniable. It was as if our were two souls destined to be apart, forever haunted by what could never be.

One evening, after everyone had left the church, I found myself alone with Charlie. The silence between us was heavy, filled with unspoken words and emotions. I finally gathered the courage to speak.

"Charlie, we need to talk about this," I said softly, my voice trembling slightly. "We can't keep pretending these feelings don't exist."

Charlie looked at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and longing. "Y/n, I know. Believe me, I know. But what can we do? I'm a priest now, and you're... well, you're you. We can't be together."

I took a deep breath, fighting back tears. "I know it's impossible, but it's tearing me apart. I can't stop thinking about you, and every time we're together, it feels like we're haunting each other with what we can't have."

Charlie stepped closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's the same for me. Every glance, every moment we share, it just makes it harder. But we have to be strong. We have to let go, for both our sakes."

We stood there, the weight of our words hanging in the air. It was a painful realization, but they both knew it was the truth. Despite the deep connection we felt, we could never be together. The only thing we could do was try to move on, even if it meant living with the ghost of what might have been.

Charlie found himself in a whirlwind of emotions as he stood with y/n under the soft glow of the windows in the church. All he could think about was how close she was, how her eyes sparkled when she laughed, and how her lips looked so inviting.

Before he knew it, he leaned in and kissed her. It was meant to be a brief, gentle kiss, but the moment their lips touched, something ignited within him. He tried to pull away, to regain his composure, but he couldn't. The warmth of her kiss, the way she responded, made it impossible to stop.

I seemed to feel the same way, my hands finding their way to his shoulders, pulling him closer. Every time he thought he should stop, the connection between us grew stronger, more intense. It was as if the world around us had disappeared, leaving only the two of us in this perfect, endless moment.

Finally, when we did break apart, Charlie was breathless, his heart pounding in his chest. He looked into my eyes, seeing the same mix of surprise and desire reflected back at him. "I... I didn't mean to... I just couldn't stop," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.

I smiled, my cheeks flushed. "I didn't want you to," I replied softly, and in that instant, Charlie knew that this was just the beginning of something incredible.

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Oooough so um. You know the "Eggman finds and raises tails instead of Sonic" AUs and how that usually fucks up the little guy in a special way? Haha so I had an idea like that but with Nine

(Bear with me this is like half the shit my brain came up with on a 30 min car ride there's already so much abt this in my head help)

So a scrawny kit without a Denizen number was detained in Dr.Babble's district due to repeated offenses of wandering off the path and also under the suspicion of stealing and repurposing council robot parts (all strictly prohibited)

After some back and forth and confirmation that he has no affiliation with the resistance, or even a family house to be sent back and locked up in, the Council concludes he could be useful to them. The little thing is smart, knows his way around machines (if the reports are to be belived), is quiet and no one would miss him if things went wrong. He was a freak snatched off the street anyway.

Of course, their first thought was to fully robotize him, and have him do some basic maintenance or reconnaissance alongside Rusty, one of their only actual still standing successful robotized projects, but Mr.Dr. objects, saying it would be a waste if they turned him into a mindless drone doing basic work. So they agree (to disagree) to give it some time and let them see what they're working with, it's not like the little guy is expected to be somewhere else.

After a few days of not-so-subtle emotional manipulation and observation of the fox at work, it's concluded (albeit very begrudgingly) that he has the skills and intellect to match and even surpass all five members of the council.

Of course, that's a threat and a very high liability if the the little freak gets any funny ideas, so the council actually has to play smart instead of brute force their way to subjugation like usual.

A deal is proposed.

If the little fox, now their ninth robotization project in wait, agrees to pledge his alliance directly under the thumb of the council and is fine with the loss and metallic replacement of just a few body parts and vital organs, in turn, he doesn't have to mingle with the measly and pathetic citizens bellow ever again, gains full reign over all of the resources available (with strings attached of course) to keep the five men at full power and finally destroy any resistance once and for all.

The kit, now marked 09 (or simply 9 for colloquial convenience) accepts the deal without much hesistation, the loss of his vital organs seemed to spook him the most, but it's not like he cares about anyone in the city, or vice versa. As far as he sees it, losing his biological arms and jaw is hardly a difficult deal for being sound and secure, fed and housed, protected from any and all elements, and left alone for most of his days. He now lives in the walls of the Tyrants' castle yes, but it's not like he has any reason to feel bad or like he betrayed anyone.

Not like he ever knew anything else but cold pavement and eye-blinding xenon in a city where you can only trust yourself. It's either dying under the suffocating regime or taking any chance given to swing above it. He just got lucky, and it was about damn time he did.

The resistance is nothing but a desperate cult of people deluding themselves with unreachable fantasies and sending their followers on suicide missions. The citizens nothing but ants there to keep the machine running and make all the infrastructure around them useful, and 09, finally, stood above both.

[skz-elle]

kacii told me to post this and it’s her fault i was throttled by the thought of Hongjoong studio sex so…

inspo: bestie @kaciidubs ✨🎀

hongjoong x fem!reader

fluff, unregulated romantic fluff, slight nsfw (mentioned orgasms but no descriptions), unedited except for the one thing i saw i misspelled

His headphones are around your neck, where he had you come closer to hear a part of a song. Just moments ago, you had been standing in front of him with your eyes closed, nodding to the beat, carefully listening to the small details because he asked you for your opinion and you knew he meant “critique”.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was enraptured. Enamored with the way your face was softly lit by his keyboard. Infatuated with your hands gently holding the speakers to your ears and how your fingers poked out of the sleeves of his hoodie, which he had just pulled over your head at the first hint you were chilly.

That’s why he wrote songs for you. About you. About how he felt towards you. About how the world was you and him and nothing else whenever you were here.

He can’t wait for you to finish listening. He tries, and he wants to, but he physically can’t wait. His body craves your touch and it is the one thing he allows himself to indulge in without hesitation. His hands slide over your waist and he softly tugs to get your attention.

He’s in love with the way you don’t even open your eyes to check, you just trust him to guide you down into his lap. You sink into him like you were meant to be together this way. Like you were two pieces of a whole, like magnets drawn together. It’s graceful and gentle but intoxicatingly powerful in its own softness. He can’t resist. He can’t get enough. He doesn’t want to ever get enough. Being on the verge, always reaching for more, is too pleasant a chase for him to ever stop running towards it.

You’re still listening to the song when his lips slot together with yours.

You keep listening, even as he becomes more insistent, tilting your head this way and that to get the right angle. He has to make you feel his love. He wants it so deeply it aches.

You’re still listening even when his hands burrow under his hoodie, under your shirt, under your bra. His fingertips whisper their way across your skin, on paths he’s memorized long ago but will never tire of traversing.

You keep listening even when the song has ended, just to see how far he’ll go and how desperate he’ll get before he realizes. He’s addictive like this, strung out on wanting you and finally — blessedly — allowing himself pleasure in emotion just for the sake of it.

The joke is on you, though — as long as you let him, he won’t notice it’s been ten minutes instead of ten seconds.

He’d keep going for an eternity and time wouldn’t pass at all, so long as it’s you and him locked away in this little world.

You push the headphones off yourself to maneuver his hands into your hair, and that’s when he blinks back to reality for the briefest moment.

You think he’s going to speak, but he just gives you a dazed look — lips parted and shiny, breathless, cheeks pink, and eyes glossy — before he dives back in.

That’s eventually how Seonghwa finds the two of you, just a bit later. You’re asleep in Hongjoong’s chair, tangled together in what has to be an uncomfortable position, but it’s nothing new. Seonghwa always finds you like this after a particularly good orgasm or several.

Hongjoong has a tendency to rip the most mind-numbing climaxes out of you, before you both doze off just long enough to recover before waking like you’ve had a full night of sleep. heavy limbs, sore muscles, everything that comes with a comatose nap, except — Hongjoong would do it all again for even just half a second of the look you give him when he mumbles “I love you” into your skin at the joint of your neck and shoulder, and you return it with an “I know, my love.”

‘My love’, he thinks — and that’s right. Your love. He’s yours. Forever.

[storiesforallfandoms]

a perfect world ~ jack chambers;don't worry darling

word count: 2122

request?: no

description: in which she finds out that their picture perfect world is not as perfect as it seems

pairing: jack chambers x female!reader

warnings: swearing, use of y/n, kind of an au where jack isn't an incel but he still does the bad thing of taking the reader into the simulation, jack tries to gaslight the reader, kind of a dark fic if you think about it but not super dark

masterlist (one, two, three)

Jack knew something was wrong the moment he walked into the house. It was the quiet that tipped him off. It was never quiet. Usually the place was filled with music. Either the soft lull of the radio, or his wife's humming, or both.

This time, though, the house was eerily quiet.

Jack came around the corner to find his wife stood at the kitchen counter. She had a glass of wine in her hand, with the bottle next to her on the counter. She was staring off into space as she took a sip of her wine, her movements almost robotic.

"(Y/N)?" Jack said, cautiously. "Love, are you alright?"

(Y/N) didn't respond at first. She took a long sip before slowly placing the glass down. Jack's worry was growing further. Not only worry for his wife, but worry for himself. If something was seriously wrong with her, then it would result in demotion, or worse, from Frank.

Finally, (Y/N) turned to face him. Her face was so calm that it scared Jack. When she spoke, her voice was also eerily calm.

"I know about Victory."

Jack tried to laugh off the comment. "My job? Of course you know about it, love."

"No," (Y/N) said, shaking her head. "I know what Victory is. I know why we're here, Jack. And what you did to me."

Jack's blood ran cold.

In his fear and anxiety, Jack started laughing again. (Y/N)'s face was still blank as she looked at him.

"I don't know what you're on about," Jack said. "I didn't do anything to you, besides put a ring on your finger."

(Y/N) chuckled, but there was no true humor behind it. "Well, yes, you did actually do that. But you didn't do it the way we've been telling the story, did you?"

Jack started to walk away. He was trying to seem nonchalant, but the panic was starting to overwhelm him. He didn't want (Y/N) to see his panic, otherwise he wouldn't be able to convince her that she was wrong.

He stopped when (Y/N) called after him, "How long do you intend to keep me in this simulation?"

Jack spun around before he could stop himself. "You are crazy! Do you hear yourself? You're talking crazy!"

Emotion was finally showing on (Y/N)'s face. It quickly went from shock to anger. "You're going to call me crazy? When you're the one who has me hooked up to a machine and making me play happy little housewife?!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Jack couldn't help but quickly look around in panic. There was no way Frank was listening in on their private conversations, right? This wouldn't get back to him, would it? He needed to stop (Y/N) before things got too loud or somehow their neighbors noticed the arguing.

He tried a more calm approach, saying, "Love, I don't know where you got this idea. We are not in a simulation, you are not hooked up to machines. I'm sorry I called you crazy, but you have to understand that is how everyone will react when they hear you saying this."

(Y/N) pulled away as Jack tried to reach for her. "I got this idea when I went to the Victory headquarters."

Jack backed away from her. No, she couldn't have been to the Headquarters. None of the wives even knew where the Headquarters was, and they wouldn't be able to even go out that far.

Except for Margaret, but Ted wore he had her under control.

They locked eyes, silently daring the other to make a move. Jack had lost any sense of confidence he had mustered seconds ago. He felt like everything was about to slip from his fingers. Everything he worked so hard to build for him and (Y/N), all gone in the seconds it took for her to utter that sentence. Meanwhile, (Y/N) had gone back to looking emotionless. She didn't even realize how much she was about to lose.

When Jack didn't break the silence, (Y/N) took it as her opportunity to explain, "I was on the trolley and it broke down. The driver told me it would take some time for it to be fixed, so I offered to just walk back to town. But, oddly, the driver started trying to convince me not to get off. He was very adamant about staying on the trolley. I was a little put off by how insistent he was on it, but I thought he was just worried for my safety."

Jack felt himself unconsciously clenching his fists. The damn trolley driver. Couldn't he have been a little more subtle?

"I did stay on for a while," she continued. "But it was just the two of us, and I knew I'd get home quicker if I just walked. So I did. When the driver wasn't paying much attention, I got off and started walking. But we were in the desert, and none of us wives have ever been out that far, so I was a bit lost. I found his building I've never seen or heard of before. I knew I shouldn't go to it, but...my curiosity got the better of me."

Jack felt as though he was going to start crying. Even though he already knew the answer, he asked, "What did you see?"

"Nothing," (Y/N) responded. "Not at first. Not until I touched the building. Then I saw the truth. All of it."

Jack winced.

That's it. There's no denying her when she saw the building.

The truth was that (Y/N) was right: she was hooked up to a machine that was putting her in a simulated perfect 50s town.

In the real world, Jack and (Y/N) were really married. They fell in love young and married right after they graduated university. Everything was great, until Jack lost his job. His company was on a fast downwards spiral that resulted in a number of employees getting terminated, and Jack was one of the unfortunate ones. (Y/N) was still trying to get a job within her field of study, so she was working a minimum wage retail job. While Jack was unemployed, (Y/N) had to carry the financial burdens, and that made Jack feel awful and useless.

Then he discovered Frank and Victory.

Frank promised a perfect world and a perfect life. All Jack needed to do was work for eight hours a day, as well as all the other men within their town, for Frank; for Victory. It was a small price to pay for him and (Y/N) to live their dream life.

And now all of that work was ruined. Frank would take care of (Y/N) for finding out, whatever that meant, and Jack would be exiled from Victory.

He had to sit down.

He lowered himself into a chair at their dining table. (Y/N) was still watching him. He wished she would just do whatever she planned to do; scream, break things, go right to Frank and tell him she knew about everything. Whatever the plan, he just wanted her to get it over with. The unknown silence was killing him.

"Why?" she finally asked. "Why did you do this?"

"For us," Jack said. "So we could live a better life."

"What was wrong with our life before?"

Jack scoffed. "Seriously? (Y/N), we were struggling. I was unemployed, you were working a shitty job. You were pulling all the financial weight, and I hate that all of that was on your shoulders."

"So instead of talking to me about your feelings, you hooked me up to a machine and put me into a simulation without my consent?"

Jack hung his head. There was no way to paint that part in a good light. He hadn't brought up Victory because he was afraid (Y/N) would reject the idea, and he couldn't take their real life for much longer.

"I just wanted to take care of you," Jack said, his voice small. "You were doing it for so long, and you never complained even though I know it was tough. I didn't want you to do it anymore, and Frank offered the perfect life for us."

He heard (Y/N)'s heels clicking against the tiled kitchen floor as she approached the table. He couldn't look up at her as she leaned on the table, basically towering over him.

"What happens if Frank finds out that I know?" she asked.

Jack shook his head. "I don't completely know. He just says he takes care of it."

"Did he take care of Margaret?"

He didn't ask her how she knew that Margaret had known the truth as well. It was probably pretty obvious now that she knew. Instead, he just nodded. "And he told Ted that if he didn't get Margaret under control, then he'd be fired from Victory."

"So, if Frank finds out, this is all over for both of us?"

He nodded again. He had a feeling he knew where she was going with this. She'd go tell Frank that she knew the truth about Victory, even though it would be a risk for her to do so. But the risk would be worth it if it meant Jack was fired from Victory, sent back to the reality that he was trying to desperately to save them from. Once they were back in their own reality, (Y/N) would no doubt divorce him as well. He'd deserve it, of course.

"Then I'll just have to get really good at keeping a secret."

Jack's head shot up quickly to look at (Y/N). There was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, and there was something in her eyes as she looked at Jack.

"What do you mean?" he asked, dumbly.

"I mean, what you did was very fucked up. Like, extremely fucked up. Next time you're making big decisions like, I don't know, putting us in a fucking simulation, maybe talk to me about it first. But, with that being said...I'd be lying if I said I preferred our real life over this one."

Jack was stunned. This was not what he was expecting at all.

(Y/N) gestured for Jack to push his chair back. When given enough room, she sat herself on his lap and put her arms around his neck.

"We can't stay here forever," she told him. "We have real bodies that need to be taken care of, and families and people that will worry if we just disappear. But, it's hard to give up on this life. It's so...perfect."

"So what are you saying?" Jack asked.

"I'm saying we put a cap on how long we stay here. Give it...I don't know, another year. We let ourselves be happy, be worry free. Then, however we have to, we get out of here and we get to working on making our reality just as perfect as the simulation is."

"You'll have to go back to work."

She nodded. "I know. But I'm not opposed to working. I did get a whole degree so I could work my dream job, after all."

Jack put his arms around her. He wanted to pull her in close and not ever let her go, but he couldn't just yet. "Why?"

She furrowed her brows. "Why what?"

"Why aren't you more mad? Why aren't you going to tell Frank so that I get in trouble? Why do you want to stay here...stay with me?"

(Y/N) gave him a look like she thought he was being incredibly stupid before cupping his cheeks. "Because I love you, you idiot. And, like I said, the way you went about doing this was very stupid and wrong, but I know you did it because you love me, too. As long as you can agree with my deal, I don't see any reason to be mad and want to leave you."

Jack finally allowed himself to kiss her. It caught her off guard, which made her giggle against his lips. Every memory he had with her, both in the real world and in their simulation, came rushing back to him.

"I agree," he said. "I'll do whatever you want, I promise."

"Right now, I think I want to make love to my husband in our super cool retro bedroom," she told him. "Just to make sure I don't forget how to do that when we get back to the real world."

Jack smiled at her. "Oh, don't worry love. I won't let you forget."

[mammons-lover]

Twisted Obsession

Mammon x reader

Genre: Dark Romance/Psychological Thriller

Word Count: 1k+

WARNING⚠️: Psychological Manipulation & Obsession, Kidnapping & Captivity, Stockholm Syndrome Elements, Supernatural Themes, Violence, Unhealthy Relationships, Yandere Themes, Depression and Emotional Distress, and Implied Emotional Coercion & Gaslighting.

A/N: I enjoy telling stories as if they are being read by a wise old person, (kinda like "once upon a time, long ago" type of reading) I hope the wisdom comes through in the reading.

(I'm experimenting with a new format and am uncertain if it will be permanent. Please read the warning, and if I miss something, please let me know.)

The night was cold, the kind of cold that prickled at the edges of your skin, but your heart burned with a fervor that defied any chill. You had waited months for this—memorizing every sigil, every chant, every nuance of demonology until you could recite it backwards. All for him. Mammon. The second-born of the Avatars of Sin, the embodiment of Greed. Everything about him fascinated you. His charm, his selfishness, his unexpected loyalty when it mattered. The more you read about him, the more you knew he was everything you needed. Everything you wanted.

When the summoning circle blazed to life, you felt a rush of triumph mixed with panic. There he stood—more striking than you ever imagined. Snow-white hair, piercing blue goldish eyes, an aura that commanded attention. Mammon.

He crossed his arms, glaring down at you with a mix of irritation and amusement. “Oi, ya seriously called The Great Mammon for this? What, did ya wanna gawk at me all day?”

You stammered, your heart hammering in your chest. “I need… riches.”

Mammon scoffed, a sly grin tugging at his lips. “Heh, typical human. It ain’t that easy, ya know. But fine. I’ll see what I can do. Call me again in a week.”

The thought of him leaving sent waves of desperation crashing over you. What if he never came back? What if he saw through your pathetic ruse? Panic drove you to a reckless act. You grabbed a vase filled with enchanted marbles and brought it down on the back of his head. As Mammon fell, your breath caught in your throat. You knelt beside him, trembling fingers checking his pulse. Relief washed over you...he was alive.

You whispered a spell to keep him asleep, binding him with enchanted wrap tightly to a chair bolted to the floor. You knew he’d be furious, but he had to understand. He would, in time. When he woke, his eyes flashed with dread and confusion. He yanked at his bindings, Pleading, “What the hell did you do?! Let me go! If it’s because I needed a week to get the money, I'll try to find a way to get it sooner.”

“I'm sorry, I had to,” you pleaded, tears pricking at your eyes. “I love you.”

Mammon’s face twisted with disgust. “Love? This ain’t love, it’s insanity! My brothers will come for me.”

You understand that his words hold truth, though not the part about insanity; your actions stem from love, not madness. However, once his brothers notice his absence, time will not be on your side. Therefore, it's imperative to win his love quickly.

You shook your head. “They won’t find you. You’ll see… you’ll understand soon.”

Days turned into weeks. You tried to make him comfortable, surrounding him with things he liked—his favorite foods, soft blankets, even decorating his corner of the room like a mini living room. You talked to him for hours, telling him everything about yourself, hoping to make him see how perfect you were together. But Mammon met your efforts with silence, disdainful glares, or sharp words.

“You can’t keep me here forever,” he sneered one day, rolling his eyes as you listed your common interests. “It’s pathetic.”

Still, there were moments—small cracks in his facade—that gave you hope. The first time he asked for water, you nearly stumbled in your haste to bring it to him. When he finally accepted food, you felt like you’d won a battle. He spoke more, complained about his restraints, tried to charm you into letting him go. “If you untie me, I’ll take ya out to the movies. Make it worth your while.”

You almost believed him. Almost. Instead, you brought the movies to him, setting up a TV and snuggling close while you watched. He didn’t pull away. Your heart soared. Maybe he was starting to care. Maybe you could loosen his bonds. But then you caught him trying to tamper with the magic in his restraints. When confronted, he lied, claiming an itch. You wanted to believe him so badly.

Another month passed. Mammon grew quieter, his eyes duller. You asked him what was wrong, and for the first time, he spoke honestly. “I miss my brothers. I miss freedom.” He saw your hurt and quickly added, “But… I like it here. I like you.”

Your thoughts raced with the realization of his love for you and the possibility of setting him free sooner rather than later. A sincere smile spread across your face, your eyes welling up with tears. He returned a smile, brief yet meaningful. You allowed him to roam the house, albeit with his ankles and waist restrained. He wandered, playfully taunted you, and even proposed snuggling on the sofa. It all seemed prefect, until the day he tried to escape.

You had just opened the door to bring in groceries when he rushed up from behind, shoving you aside in an attempt to escape. However, the restraints halted his progress, causing him to fall. Despite this, he continued to struggle, pulling himself forward as you began to drag him back inside by his legs. His face was a mask of desperation as he bellowed, "Let me go!" His strength was formidable, and your efforts seemed futile. Noticing the restraints weakening, you scrambled to secure them, but as you reached, they snapped, setting him free.

Mammon halted, his gaze fixed on you. For a moment, the thought crossed your mind that he might kill you. As you began to reach for your wand, he noticed and dashed into the forest. You quickly grabbed your wand and pursued him, following the trail left by the restraints. As you moved cautiously, becoming more aware of your surroundings, you noticed that Mammon was no longer tethered at the end of the restraints. Panic set in; you couldn't afford to lose him he was everything to you. Crying out, you pleaded for his return, vowing to treat him better and promising never to bind him again. Collapsing to your knees, you clutched the restraints, weeping, oblivious to Mammon perched in the tree above, observing you.

He can't fathom why you have such deep feelings for him, especially since you don't truly know him and have never met before. He contemplates returning to you, sensing that you need him. However, he catches himself mid-thought, dismisses it, and continues deeper into the forest towards home.

For months, everything was left untouched, holding onto the hope of his return. When he didn't, moving on became a necessity, buried in work. Yet, Mammon couldn't forget. Upon his return, he searched for anyone, but the house was empty. He retreated to his room, cleaned himself up, and waited. Lying in bed, his thoughts wandered to you, pondering if you were still searching for him. His reverie was broken by laughter and chatter downstairs. He found them happy, oblivious to his absence. When they noticed they were shocked at his appearance, they bombarded him with questions about his whereabouts. How they looked for him and couldn't find him. But the word "looked" echoed in his mind they had ceased their search. Questioning why they stopped, they simply believed he would reappear. Frustrated, Mammon secluded himself until dinner. At the table, amidst the interrogation, Lucifer asked about your whereabouts, but Mammon assured him it was handled. Life resumed, and though he feigned normalcy, thoughts of you lingered, wondering if you thought of him, or had moved on. The thoughts ate at him, as did memories of you. The way you’d looked at him, the things you’d done—all for him.

One afternoon, as he went about his day, those thoughts overwhelmed him, and he set out to find you. From a distance, he watched you at the market, selecting items for your potions and groceries. He followed you home and noticed you had rearranged the house, giving him the impression that you no longer cared for him. This notion unsettled him, and he returned home. The idea that you no longer cared gnawed at him with such intensity, one might think he harbored love for you. But he didn't... to him, you were just a lunatic who had stolen months from his life. Yet, there were good times. You never mistreated him, never hurled insults; instead, you praised his every action, no matter how mundane. Now, seeing you act as if those moments were insignificant, he couldn't help but feel aggrieved. Driven by what he claimed was mere curiosity, he shadowed you for months, learning your routine to avoid crossing paths with you...or so he convinced himself.

Eventually, he found himself at your doorstep again, unable to stay away. He picked the lock, wandering through your home until he found you in the kitchen. Leaning casually against the counter, he asked, “Whatcha makin’?”

You turned around, fear gripping you momentarily, your heart halting, then you break into a smile upon seeing him. "Mammon?!"

He walked closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Do ya love me?” he whispered, eyes searching yours.

“With all my heart,” you said, breathless.

He smiled, a dark, dangerous smile. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

He drew you into a kiss, and it was fierce, possessive. Caught in this twisted obsession, neither of you were willing to release the other.

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

had quite the night drive earlier this evening.