#I keep a vast majority of them
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shout out to my text file named "tak o" i very regularly maintain since around 2018, filled with every innocuous i liked and quotes and things to search i never got around and and and
#there's exactly 348 entries right now#give me a number and ill give the entry#there's quotes from livestreams from 2019#there;s a question as to the correlation between fractals and the koch snowflake and the coastline paradox#there's links to unlisted streams and videos#there's activation keys to programs ive not once installed#there's everything in there and though i sometimes delete entries#I keep a vast majority of them#also btw Tak O means something like 'so and so'/'whatever'/'out of the blue'#basically an expression of an action done bc of boredom or out of impulse#post anesthetics posts
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Something I think is cute is that - y’know how Raph’s eyes are more on the yellow side?
Well, you know who also has slightly yellowed eyes? Donnie.
While Raph’s are more yellow, I think it’s cute that this is something that they share and I don’t see it pointed out too often?
It’s also something they both share with Draxum and Splinter’s current form (though again, these two have much more yellow sclera than the boys do.)
But yeah, I like that there’s this little detail that ties Raph and Donnie together, even if it’s small.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#rise raph#there are a few screenshots that look like Donnie’s eyes were colored more white like Leo and Mikey#but the vast majority has his eyes and teeth yellowed a little#not quite to Raph’s level but enough to be noticeable especially when you contrast it to Mikey Leo and April#I see a lot of art on here not giving Donnie his yellowed sclera and it makes me sad a little#bc Mikey and Leo have soooo many things tying them together design wise (mainly their shells)-#so its nice to keep the things tying Raph and Donnie together as well (their sclera + how THEIR shells are both basically just green)#(+ how even when Donnie makes his battleshells he keeps them one color - just like Raph’s shell)#I’m looking too hard into this but Brains and Brawn is a Good Duo#you could also - considering the show’s theme of giving the less ‘human’ characters more yellowed sclera- consider this design decision-#-a way to show that Mikey and Leo are species of turtles more acclimated to humans since their breeds are very often pets (esp Leo)#whereas Raph and Donnie are species that are more commonly just left in the wild#idk I just think it’s an interesting design decision tbh#esp considering you can see this human acclimation from the very start with the boys as well#with how readily Mikey and Leo interact with Splinter#whereas Raph bites and Donnie is completely disinterested#i like when their species has an effect on their characters tbh#like how Leo being the Face Man makes perfect sense since Red Eared Sliders are the most popular pet turtle BECAUSE they’re pretty-#-and better with people than most other species#Mikey too being so gung-ho about people makes sense for these same reasons#as ornate box turtles as well are very popular pet turtles#idk they’re just fun I love these guys#also- I love when people give Raph a huge tail it’s so cute
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only ninja funding options i’ll accept
odd jobs and miscellaneous shenanigans that result in them ingratiating themselves with a handful of salesfolk around ninjago. e.g. the people of jamanakai having a fondness for lloyd after experiencing both Shitty Little Kid attacking them in s1 and The Green Ninja™ saving them in s4
actual real life jobs between seasons (s2 and 4 ily)
pixal’s investments
residuals from licensing (the ninja video game from s1 and s4 <3. and the movies and the actual merch made by dareth from s6 lmao)
residuals from jay’s TV-Show-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named (now on streaming. it’s real-kid-now-unagami’s favorite show)
ideally all at once. but also? they do not need traditional funding. this is an urban fantasy. they are not paying rent (when living on the bounty/monastery). they can and do grow a significant amount of their own food when they do have a place to live. they have multiple times explicitly started businesses?? after they already were publicly known for saving people? when would the government have started funding them if not then. the ideal ninja state is not worrying about money unless it’s funny, and then they’re spider-man.
#THEY ARE NOT FUNDED BY THE GOVERNMENT. THATS NOT CANON. WHAT ARE YOU DOING#literally nothing has ever implied that why do people keep parroting it#that’s not even a superhero trope the vast majority of superheroes are normal guys struggling like the rest of us#text✨#not ninjago tagging i don’t want to fight about this bc the person talking about it is someone im mutuals with. sorry but#i vehemently disagree#there’s so much more fun to have with wondering how the ninjago economy works than#saying for no reason that they’re taxpayer funded. even fandom makes the superhero thing in s11 more of a thing than canon does#if you need them to make money for story bring back the odd jobs i think zane found his calling as a teppanyaki chef
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Does Janeys know that Brakul has a wife and son? How would he react if he learned?
He actually does know and has known pretty much from the beginning.
Early on in his stint as a POW turned mercenary, Brakul would repeatedly invoke his wife and son as reasons he could or could not do certain things + to insult Janeys like 'okay but some of us have actual, tangible responsibilities in this world and people who depend on them. Like my wife and son, who I will be returning to immediately when my contract is over. You're never going to see me again. On account of my wife and son.'
When he started actually Liking Janeys and wanting to be with him, and seeing a chance to Avoid All Consequences And Never Go Back Home, he gradually reversed course (and attempted to rationalize it to himself) like "Ahhh they'll be fine. I mean everyone probably thinks I'm dead and/or an oathbreaker anyway so Sirudan's gotta be remarried by now. My brother probably got in on that, and he really has his shit together so they're in good hands. Honestly it will be worse for them if I go back. They're better off without me. They're fine. It's not a big deal. I'm soooooo single and unattached btw" And Janeys was like "Okay. Yay."
13 years down the line Janeys almost never thinks about it and when he occasionally remembers it's like
He does not give a shitttt about the wife/child abandonment angle whatsoever, but he's aware that Brakul still has some attachment to them and regrets over skipping out, and he's kind of insecure about it. The concept of Brakul having a child out there completely independent of their whole Thing also makes him uncomfortable in ways he can't really put his finger on. He's not actually scared that Brakul will return to his ex-wife though, like even with all his profound insecurities and abandonment issues he knows there's not a chance in hell that he's gonna actually attempt to make amends. Bottom line is he doesn't like to think about it, and mostly doesn't have to.
#Hibrides found out about his Abandoned Wife And Child while she was first pregnant and after their relationship had begun to sour#and Will Not let him forget it#She doesn't honestly give a shit about them either it's not really out of concern for the people he left behind but#more a way of Very directly confronting his avoidant tendencies (and also just an easy way to emotionally wound him)#Like she sees him as someone who will do everything in his power to avoid discomfort and the consequences of his choices and#then has the audacity to whine and mope about how guilty he feels. And then will make excuses if confronted.#And Janeys coddles and enables him like 90% of the time so he just keeps doing it. Which is absolutely infuriating to her.#(Her perception is pretty spot on btw it's just Occasionally applied unfairly to situations where he was actually a victim)#So being like 'hey how about the wife and child you abandoned huh. You gonna do that again when things get uncomfy?' gets#through to him. And making him actually acknowledge it or at least feel really fucking bad about it is like. emotionally satisfying#I want to be clear that she has the least control of her circumstances of the three and the vast majority of my authorial#sympathies but I just didn't want to write her as an absolute righteous perfect perma-victim.#So when I describe her doing stuff out of vindictiveness or occasional straight up cruelty it's not like 'she is a bitch' I just want#her to be like. a full human being who shouldn't have to be 100% innocent and devoid of malice in her circumstances to be#sympathetic.#Which I think Should be clear but the whole situation is one that like. In a fandom context would ABSOLUTELY get warped into#her being an Unsympathetic Mean Bitch while her associated gayboys get to be Sympathetic And Nuanced
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don't really vent here much these days but man. me/cfs has really affected what things i can enjoy now
not only am i fighting for my life against depression to get into things and Stay invested i also need to factor in fatigue and brain fog so reading and actually understanding a book can take forever now
and going outside? i have to figure out how far i can go/what's my halfway point (alone my range is very small basically just walks around my area that are nowhere near the distance i used to be able to cover, and I rarely get to go places these days because no one's really got the time/energy to come with me or take me and I really can't handle public transport these days. and I suppose it's hard to go somewhere sorta far alone now. I want/need someone with me.)
just... sigh. the boredom and loneliness are probably the worst thing about this. the worst is the isolation though
#a podcast i love just know i wont be able to keep up with right now and it's a shame#i've fallen off mmos too so i've not really felt the urge to play swtor and that was part of my life for like... a sth like a whole decade?#and thats how i've made so many of my friends today! like the vast majority of them#well. more fandomwise but ygm#so many hobbies are becoming harder/more exhausting to do -- god i miss being able to cook routinely#i will say it's been really helpful and validating to find spaces to talk with other pwME though
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you know. white liberals would be far less annoying (still deeply annoying) and far less difficult to take seriously (still deeply difficult) if they stopped lying to themselves and everyone else about what they were doing. ‘cause y’all either sound completely stupid and removed from reality at best or violently callous at worst.
(and before anyone fails their reading comprehension here, i am not telling anyone to vote or not vote or who to vote or not vote for. get off my dick.)
but no, you’re not doing “real leftism” by voting for kamala (something i have actually seen countless people say. “real leftists” would vote for kamala!!1!!1!! if you don’t vote for her ur not a “real leftist!!!!”). that’s not what that is. words mean things. you’re actually engaging in pretty textbook liberalism. it’s not “real leftism” to vote for a genocidal fascist who is actively employing genocidal fascistic policies both overseas and domestically, and who has pledged gladly to continue doing so. (again, bc this is the bad reading comprehension website, i’m not telling you if you vote for kkkamala ur not a “real leftist” (mostly because that’s meaningless); i’m saying that that act itself is not a """leftist""" action). if you feel the need to justify what you’re doing to yourself by pretending you’re doing ~real leftism~, stop.
you're not “stopping fascism” or “saving democracy” or whatever else. you’re not “stopping fascism” by voting for a fascist. you’re not “saving democracy” by voting for a fascist. if you genuinely can’t see in this current moment that kamala harris & the democrats are fascists, you are deliberately ignoring and excusing fascism as long as it’s happening to nonwhite people. it is willful, deliberate ignorance at this point and it is violent. you genuinely do not see victims of fascism unless it happens to white people.
you’re not “protecting palestinians” by voting for kamala. you’re not making their chances better or being better for them or improving their conditions. you’re not “more likely” to sway kamala on palestine; you can’t even threaten to withhold your support for her because of her wanton slaughtering of palestinians. 13 months of ongoing genocide and ongoing mass protest movements and multiple polls showing that she would literally guarantee the win in key swing states if she would just call for an arms embargo / ceasefire as part of her platform have not swayed her. she constantly, constantly reaffirms her willful, enthusiastic support of this genocide. she has said over and over again that she will not end her support for israel, that she would not have done anything differently than biden, that she has no intentions to stop sending israel arms and money so they can keep slaughtering palestinians and now lebanese. you are not “protecting” or helping palestinians by voting for her. keep their names out of your mouths.
you’re not protecting """minorities""" or """poc""" either. not when the candidate is a cop whose administration has already funneled billions of dollars into the police and the military, who is priding herself on wanting to create the most lethal military, on being tougher on the border&immigration than trump, who is happily continuing to perpetuate racist atrocity propaganda to justify the mass slaughter of palestinians, who continues to reaffirm and support the escalation of imperialism and war even elsewhere in the so-called middle east, who is gladly seeking (and securing) endorsements by racist white supremacist republicans (like dick fucking cheney. come on), whose administration has been for four years enthusiastically accelerating the climate crisis, whose campaign has been littered with examples of both their supporters and the politicians themselves being virulently racist. you’re not protecting us. you’re not helping us.
your candidate wants us dead. your candidate wants me dead. your candidate wants my people in iran dead. your candidate wants my sister peoples in palestine and in lebanon dead. your candidate is actively orchestrating their slaughter.
kamala might be better for you, white liberal american. fine. vote for her if you wish. no one is stopping you. but stop white knighting about it. stop pretending you’re doing this for anyone but yourself. stop lying to yourself and everyone else about what you’re doing. stop speaking over us the with fucking audacity that you’re somehow doing us a favor, and stop talking down to us, palestinians especially, like they are children who need to be ~explained~ the right way to save them. stick your white savior complex up your ass.
vote however you want, but stop lying about what you’re doing and who you’re protecting.
and if you want my vote too? fucking earn it.
#us politics#politics#genocide#kamala harris#liberal#joe biden#palestine#israel#racism#quasartalks#if dems wanted me to vote for them they’d stop being so fucking racist to me & people like me. they’d do the literal one (1) thing that the#statistic vast majority of usamericans want. but they won’t. they care less about winning the election — and less about /doing their job/#(you know - responding to the wishes of their constituents they represent) — than they do about being able to continue bombing hospitals#and burning children alive in tents. they would rather blow babies’ brains apart than win the election. they KNOW. that they would GUARANTE#A WIN. if they would STOP SLAUGHTERING PEOPLE. and they DO NOT CARE ABOUT WINNING ENOUGH TO DO IT. they dont care abt winning the election#enough to stop slaughtering civilians.#why should i care then? if they don’t? if they clearly don’t care enough to do the single thing that would guarantee the win?#you’re asking me to care about people who care more about killing me than they do winning the election. be so for fucking real.#and leave me alone. leave us alone.#vote for whatever you want. but keep our names out of ur mouths.#i’m going to try to have this b the only actual post abt this i make#but goddamn. dems are so disgustingly violently racist and you get madder at the ppl they deliberately denigrate than u do them for-#-alienating swaths of their voter base. y’all are a little too excited abt these racist maniacal genociders.#we see the way you celebrate racists. if kamala wins and you’re doing anything but breathing relief that trump is gone and strapping in to#actually 'pressure' kamala like u said u would? if i see any of you freaks Celebrating?? celebrating these racist wastes of space?#it’s on sight lmao
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My ass is NOT getting that grade up in time
#i have a 68 in AP Calculus rn#the end of the six weeks is this Friday#i turned most of my missing work and passed the vast majority of my tests (like...barely but still passed)#so ermmmmm#i really hope it gets raised b4 the end of the week ....i know i keep saying this but for the love of god im so tired#football season on top of theater AND work blawg whatttt#adhd girls when the executive dysfunction actually makes them dysfunctional#vent?
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i've been seeing a lot of posts about the way children don't get treated as human beings deserving of respect but i want to talk about the way so many of these negative experiences children have with adults come at the hands of people whose literal job is to deal with children (parents, teachers, healthcare workers etc.)
#i've seen a lot of people talking about the childfree child haters which is valid#as someone who doesn't want kids i can agree that the way some of those people talk is absolutely wild#i saw a reddit post a while ago where someone was asking if they could call the cops on a 7 yr old who hit them. yes seriously#but really i think the more pressing issue is the number of adults who are around children often by choice and yet-#still don't know how to treat them properly#it feels like a lot of people who take up these jobs have kind of an idealized version of the way the children around them should act#and if the child in question doesn't meet those expectations the adult can be downright cruel towards them#and if that kid is neurodivergent and/or disabled hooo boy that cruelty ramps up tenfold !!#keep in mind that these expectations would be unrealistic for a grown adult let alone a developing human being who's still figuring out-#the world#it will never make sense to me how many people will either have kids/choose to work with kids and then be surprised when said kid-#acts like *gasp* a child#and the effect that it has on a child to be constantly put down and reprimanded for doing normal human things is devastating#it reminds me of the quote 'the axe forgets but the tree remembers'#the vast majority of the time these adults won't give their actions a second thought#but the kids have to tend to their emotional wounds for the rest of their lives#ugh it's just so frustrating
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many lines in tpn dub are delivered in such a way that they are able to take permanent residence in my brain and routinely beat the shit out of me. this is how you know if an anime dub is good
#skye's ramblings#thinks abt don's 'i... hate this. i wanna be stronger' in ep 6... actually the vast majority of don's lines in ep 6. and in every other ep#or any of ray's outbursts n how whenever he gets angry he sounds like he's about to cry bc hes just a kid n hes so fucking stressed! fuck!!#or how you can tell krone's va was having the time of her life. or 'even if it's fake. being a mom means you get to feel human.' AUUGH#phil is also really good especially in the last ep. my poor little fucking beepo........#or rays snarky little '...and you still don't trust me. i might cry.' to isabella in ep 5. i hate them so much#or the whole scene of norman n emma running back to the house after finding conny. fucking heartwrenching delivery from both of them. man#also gildas voice acting. no specific notes i just really love gildas dub voice <3#and after being held hostage in a call by my lovely friends to rewatch s2 i can confirm. the voice acting is the only redeeming quality#dub cast deserved better than s2 maan. laura stahl and cedric williams work so hard to keep my remaining sanity intact past ep 3 <3#maan its things like this that make me want to be a voice actor. ifucking love voice acting
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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I'm really fucking sick of hearing how smart I am and then being given tasks a monkey could do.
#i am super frustrated#because I've been in this job now for about nine months#it's a pretty high level position#and i was promoted to it because my bosses wanted me working on higher level projects#because they knew I'd be good at it#so what has the vast majority of this job consisted of?#basic data entry#that's not even within the scope of my duties#that keeps getting dumped on me because I work super quickly and accurately#and i already talked to my boss about how frustrated i was#and how I didn't mind helping out temporarily and doing some of this work#even on a daily basis#but not for eight hours a day every day#and guess who just got more of the same old bullshit dumped on them again#after being told other people would help with it?#and i wouldn't have to do it all myself?#spoiler alert: i was expected to do it all myself#oh but support was offered#if I can't keep up with my other work#they'll try and give that to other people to catch up#you know the work that gives me some variety in my day#people noticed how quickly I type and now just treat me like a dumpster for anything menial that's behind because things are a shitshow#i've started looking to see what jobs are out there#but god I hate the idea of having to give up the sick and vacation time i've banked#personal
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there are a lot of reasons i think pericles is really slept on as one of the most tragic characters in sdmi, and they start with how easy it is to connect the dots that he took a mind-destroying curse full to the face as an infant. one that breaks adult humans and renders them unrecognizable, when pericles was not only a baby but is from a species that is explicitly much more vulnerable to it. right from the beginning of his life the entity obliterated his sense of self so thoroughly that there's not even a version of him who shows up in the Sitting Room.
fuck, man.
#sdmi#scooby doo mystery incorporated#professor pericles#sdmi is fundamentally a show about the cycle of trauma and abuse--about breaking a very literal generational curse#and i think it does a real disservice to both that theme#and pericles' narrative specifically#that he gets painted as That One Guy Who's Just Evil and Abusive for No Reason#when everyone else gets the benefit of 'even thoroughly horrible people are still people'#'and that doesn't mean they didn't hurt you; or that you have to let them keep hurting you'#'or that you're obliged to proceed in a way allowing for the possibility they'll decide to stop. that's on them to do. and they might not.'#even w/o the systemic oppression or decades of torture and psychiatric abuse#pericles was a victim of the entity in genuinely and quite possibly the most thorough way of them all. and yet he made a lifetime worth of#choices and many many many of them were to harm people in horrific ways; to his own ends and for his own satisfaction#and like. what do you do with that.#it is difficult and uncomfortable to sit with that and draw conclusions from it that are neither 'his trauma means none of that counts'#nor 'okay yeah well he's a victim BUT HE DID BAD THINGS SO THAT DOESN'T MATTER FUCK HIM'#if there's any show that invites you to do that it's sdmi; i love that about it. but you can't leave pericles out w/o defeating the purpose#especially when the nature of his being a link in the cycle of abuse is critical context for exploring the trauma of his victims#the vast majority of what he does to ricky is very clearly projecting and reenacting his own trauma onto a vulnerable target#and just. aaaaahhhhhh i have so many feelings about it god#abuse cw#grooming cw#SDMItag
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was recently on vacation in europe (mediterranean) and i really would not have believed it if i hadn’t just lived it but boy. do usamericans ever just tell you their state when you ask where they’re from. some of them even just say their city! everyone else from everywhere else tells you their country and then maybe their province / region / city if the conversation goes that far and their area is particularly big or well-known. but americans, man, they just assume you know they’re from the good ol’ us of a. and you do. because it turns out no other nationality assumes the entire world knows and cares about their local geography to that extent.
#obviously not all americans etc. etc.#but i was genuinely shocked by how many of them did it!#it was the VAST majority of those i met#like the only reason i’m not saying it was all of them is that i didn’t keep track carefully enough to be sure#but i genuinely can’t remember any americans saying they were from the u.s. and leaving it at that#(this is not intended to be anti-us it was just wild to me to experience)
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Being a writer is weird.
#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this#my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic#and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it#different strokes for different folks#but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes#and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this#riding high and wallowing in the mud#this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have#and i've been doing this for the past year and a half#it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds#i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason#it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love#anyway just felt like getting that off my chest#i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too#i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose#also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm#no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit#more vp comin in over the weekend#also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious#man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome#i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace
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my activity page is utterly consumed by the minor miracles of convenience poll, which probably i should have expected here on the neurodivergent/disabled webbed site, and yet
i did not
#however i still would not have anticipated this being the rare kind of post that#a) has considerably more reblogs than likes/replies#b) the far majority of those reblogs come with comments and tags#which is an absolute delight and it's killing me to admit i won't be able to read them all if this keeps up#but it also means the whole 'group similar notifications' activity page management thing is for shit lol#comment/tags notifications are always individuated and never grouped#just a vast WALL of this specific poll
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people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????
it's more likely than i think, apparently.
#this post brought to you by Grandparent i was forcibly estranged from most of my life suddenly being in it lots more than#the other side of dad's family AND my mom's family combined and like?? actually doing things??? to help me???? without asking for anything#except that i give him a personal update about my life so he doesn't find out on fb#which i can get behind even if my logic makes perfect sense to me as to why i don't do this#(easier to reach a wider crowd of people who can disseminate the information from there + don't have to repeat myself especially if it's#like stuff i'm still really tender or emotional about + keeps me from spilling all the beans about my private life because fuck FB + i don'#tell ANYONE specifically - everyone is getting the news the exact same way so i'm not running into any favoritism nonsense#though i'm getting the impression the fact that a large portion of my life was avoiding looking like i was picking any particular side migh#not be the way a vast majority of people go through life#much to ponder wow my family really is fucking toxic as hell#i can't even accept help offered to me without making sure they know i don't want to inconvenience them at all#which like???? idk which culture THAT'S originally from but boy did my family come from that one#i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to completely reject any assistance completely but like#a bitch got no money i'm not saying no if my granddaddy wants to send me some because of reasons#hilariously learning that this side of the family also has all of the same symptoms and issues i have#and that i had noticed that my mom's side of the family has rampantly which just like#of fucking course my genetic makeup was a perfect storm of Fuckery#i got loose joints and heart problems on BOTH sides on top of pain issues and audhd and mental health issues just smothering the damn tree#i have so many complex emotions regarding my biofamily i s2g lol
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