#I just want some proof that I'm not a shit person and the terrible thoughts in my head aren't my fault

[meraki-yao]

vent

My parents found my psychiatrist's appointment notice

And then I got lectured.

Mom: you don't have any illness. YOU DON'T. It's normal to feel negative emotions when you're struggling, but that doesn't mean you're sick. All you have to do is adjust yourself and change what you're doing to cheer yourself up.

Me, remembering the weeks when I felt like dying every day and when I was so depressed that I couldn't even get out of bed: ...

At least I wasn't yelled at. At least they're not forbidding me to go or anything (even if they did I would find a way to sneak out)

Update: nevermind she's telling me not to go.

I'm fucking go though.

[lairofsentinel]

Since this user's posts seem to have been deleted in previous opportunities I copy-paste their words here because they express exactly what I feel about this game. Dragon Age has died, unfortunately.

I'm a big time Dragon Age lover and have enjoyed every game in the series. Personally, I think Inquisition is the best in the series. And I was excited for Veilguard right up until I actually began playing it. Now, I want to clear things up at the start as to what I look for and believe makes a good Dragon Age game. To start, I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMBAT. I. Do. Not. Care.

You can make it Origins tactical. DA2 fast tactical. DAI hybrid. God of War action, I don't care. Dragon Age has always had combat that was...fine. A nice distraction and breakup in between the bits I actually care about: narrative ROLEPLAYING, story, characters, and exploration. I don't give a crap how great the combat is if the narrative roleplaying and writing are poor, I'm not playing BioWare titles for amazing gameplay. I am here for the story, the characters, and the roleplaying. Truth is, for a time I considered DATV's combat to be the best in the series.

And this is why I feel the game is a terrible Dragon Age, because it lacks or fails to respect those elements concerned with narrative roleplaying, story, characters, and exploration. Now, in many reviews and online videos you'll hear some reference often to the drop in writing quality. And a lot of time people will incorrectly say that the writing with the characters is to "modern" or "Marvel quippy" or not "dark" enough. I think these people are wrong, they recognize there is a drop in writing quality from previous games but aren't able to articulate why that is.

Dragon Age has never adopted any sort of faux medieval speech and vocabulary (though we'll get into this more later). This is a series that used "epic fail" as a thing someone uttered in the very first game. It's always had anachronistic dialogue and banter. So why is it such a drop then? Why is it considered poor? Simple. This is a game that does not believe in the world it has setup for over a decade. It does not believe in or engage properly with its own world and lore. I mean, look no further than the title "The Veilguard" a phrase that is never uttered by anyone in our group, and further proof it was a last minute marketing change. Compare to Inquisition where the title is apparent from the start in the game and has actual meaning.

You see, characters in DATV do not feel or react to events the way they should based on the lore. Why is no one constantly asking what the hell the Inquisitor is doing? The Inquisitor is kind of a BIG DEAL when it comes to Solas and Elven Gods, my Inquisitor drank from the WELL OF SORROWS! So why are we sitting around thinking at the start, "hmm lemme think who I can contact who might know more." The Herald of Andraste! They know more Rook, the guy that is technically your boss. The Inquisitor! Who else have you been working for this entire time? Who do you think told Varric to recruit you?!

But even removing the Inquisitor, the Elven Gods being real and also near synonymous with the old Tevinter Gods is kind of a BIG DEAL. It was only a theory fans crafted long ago that slowly revealed itself to be true. And it completely upends known religious dogma on all sides. Yet, why aren't people we meet going through a massive existential crisis? For instance, the Veil Jumpers we initially meet were presumably told off-screen about Fen'Harel, and are seemingly cool with this massive knowledge alone. But then we talk about those two other Gods being released and they're like, "well, shit those two aren't good." As if they have any clue if the fables about those Gods are real when we previously just upended everything they thought about the Dreadwolf! Why are you acting like this is another Tuesday?! Your entire religion is wrong. In that same conversation, Strife notes "Solas might be a bastard, but compared to the Evunaris? Let's just say they weren't know for being kind rulers."

My brother in Anduril, what are you talking about! Elven religion teaches that Elgar'nan was so beloved by the Earth that it "the land brought forth great birds and beasts of sky and forest, and all manner of wonderful green things." And that he fought the jealous Sun that tried to burn the land and all beasts away. Custom says that he and Mythal, "created the world as we know it" after defeating the Sun. He is literally described as one of the "good" Gods. WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING HE IS EVIL! It's like finding out Satan is real, but not as evil as have come to believe and then being told Jesus Christ is back and a devout Christian going, "well shit, that can't be good." WHAT?!

The same goes for Andraste and the Chant of Light, it took me 30 hours of playing before ONE character mentioned Andraste and the implications with the Chant and it was never brought up again. Our entire party is seemingly made up of unphased atheists. Now compare to something like Inquisition which explored this aspect HARD and was amazing for it. You'd get into great debates with religious figures and party members about the implications of Corypheus actually being a Tevinter Magister of old. And you'd talk about what it means towards the religious dogma preached and how much is true. And these intense political and religious discussions are present in every previous game, and not confined to a single conversation with one party member where it is seemingly resolved.

These conversations do not happen in DATV because there is no depth to the writing or engagement with the world. The Elven Gods are evil and need to be stopped. That's it. We don't need to think about the implications this has on Dalish customs and religion. Fuck it, all the Dalish are going to still wear their Vallaslin slave brand tattoos. Let's forget about Trespasser implying Solas was removing them from followers coming to join him. Let's even forget they were likely all told at this point that they are slave brands, nope still going to wear them yet speak blasphemy with every sentence against our Gods. No one cares about Andraste or The Maker or the Chant. Big deal if these Elven Gods contradict the overwhelming majority religion in Thedas. Not a single party member has religious or cultural objections to killing the Elven Gods; not a problem. Not one single elf wants to join Solas in tearing down The Veil and getting immortality again?

Again, let's forget about Trespasser setting up Solas gathering MANY Elven followers from Dalish clans who would be super inclined to join him after experiencing CENTURIES of discrimination and slavery by humans. The better question is what Elves wouldn't join Solas at the start? And what Elves wouldn't look at the other two Gods and go, "meh, maybe we should give them a try. They can't be worse than humans, right?" In DA2 you had elves joining The Qun to escape the discrimination of humans, but not ONE ELF wants to join Solas or Elgar'nan? Those Ancient Elves in the Temple of Mythal? I guess they all died, right?

This extends to EVERY single element of Dragon Age that previously had depth to it, it now has been completely removed. Those murdering Antivan Crows? Oh, they're just good Italian Mob Family that protect their city. Tevinter? Yes, it has poor people, but we're trying to do better. Oh, slavery? No, no we don't show that here. The Qun? The what now? No, they are all Antaam now, and so that means they are all generic evil warlords. No, they don't even attempt to follow their own hardcore view of The Qun like when Templars split from the Chantry, they're just warlords now that like plunder. Dwarves and their rigid Caste society? We don't do that here. Elves and racism across Thedas? Elves used to experience racism? News to me, what's a Shemlen? Never heard of that term, we like all humans. Pirates? That is insensitive, we are Lords of Fortune and we are sure to return any cultural artifacts found to their rightful owners; it belongs in a museum after all. The fucking Fade and spirits? Wait, you mean its different than generic fantasy spirit world? I'm sorry, that's too complicated here.

This either intentional disregard of the lore or plain ignorance also extends to environmental design. The asset reuse from Inquisition is particularly hilarious and must speak to the developers not having time after the switch from MP. Why are the same statues found in Val Royeaux in DAI also in Tevinter and Antiva? Why are those stupid Fen'Harel Wolf statues EVERYWHERE? Even in the catacombs of other Elven Gods! There are no statues of Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain. Nothing for June or Anduril. Dirthamen. Falon'Din. Nothing. No, the only Gods that seem to get statues are coincidentally the ones who already had assets created for DAI or past titles that could be reused. Hmmm.

This continues into character designs too, why do the Veiljumpers and Shadow Dragons all dress richly? They are supposed to be poor as fuck. There's a codex entry about Veiljumpers finding a lost cache of old ancient elven armor and weapons and so boom they all get to dress like High Elven Lords and not the dirty, poor, wandering Dalish clans they are supposed to come from. Why do this? There isn't even an attempt to explaining why the Shadow Dragons, an organization supposed to be secretive, has branded clothing in bright rich colors and fabrics for all members. Naturally, it must be incredibly difficult for Tevinter authorities to not identify them.

This lack of depth and verisimilitude, naturally, affects all the characters. Because in this game you cannot roleplay and you cannot ask questions. In Dragon Age Inquisition, once you started the game, you could immediately interrogate Varric about what happened to every DA2 character despite the Inquisitor never meeting them, you know because it respects its players. You could speak to shop keepers, blacksmiths, your horse master. You could interrogate every single person to learn more about them and the world. The same goes for your player character in DA2 and Origins. You show in Denermin and find yourself knee deep in a quest to help Wade the Blacksmith craft the perfect armor. Here you can't actually speak to a single shopkeeper to ask questions and get some lore bits. You can't ask party members questions about their background, religious beliefs, upbringing, their factions, etc. You can't ask any returning characters any questions either about what they've been doing. Enter a brand new area? Great, you're not asking anyone questions about this never before seen place.

How does a lost Dwarven thaig survive every single blight? How are their immortal lichs in Neverra? How long has that been a thing? Why haven't they told anyone about the Elven gods or any other knowledge they've accumulated in an immortal lifespan? If immortality is so "easy" why can't Solas just do that to restore the Elves? Why are the Venatori, Tevinter Supremacists, following Elven Gods? Wouldn't that be a major identity crisis? Why would Antaam, who still preach the Qun, follow an Elven God that speaks blasphemy with ever breadth? Sshhhh, no questions. You get what is directly told to you and that's it, no follow-up questions.

Party members do not conflict with each other or interrogate each other's beliefs which is why their banter feels inconsequential and meaningless. Lucanis is a assassin, he kills people for money. The same organization that marked Zevran for death for failing a contract. The same one that took him as a kid and trained him to murder, often brutally, for coin. And yet no one really seems to care. He's just a nice Italian assassin from a nice assassin organization. Who cares. Let's instead talk about cooking, at length. Harding, a devout follower of Andraste, has no qualms with Elven Gods wreaking havoc on known religion. We get one conversation you can tell her to believe what she wants, and that's the end of that debate. Bellara also gets about two whole conversations about the conflict concerning her Gods wreaking havoc, both easily resolved. We don't need to think about any larger implications or doubt her loyalty when the Elven pantheon are seeking to restore her people that have been discriminated against since forever. Emmerich, a necromancer of Neverra, apparently has no religious belief. A codex entry even states that those of the Mourn Watch don't know where the soul goes after death. They don't like to think about it. Buddy, Mortalitasi belief is literally that our souls return to the Void alongside The Maker, but to keep balance a exchange must be wrought with The Fade to allow a spirit to house the now empty vessel. How do you not know the religion and customs of your own faction and land? This man has a whole quest line about funerary rights, yet not ONCE mentions religion and what he believes happens after death?! Sshhhh, no questions. No thinking.

Hey, remember The Fade? Remember how mages go to dream there every night. Remember how The Black City is always visible there? No? Well, we don't either. You won't see The Black City in The Fade. You might see it in The Crossroads in a closed off section, even though it is NOT The Fade. Oh, we're going to have you physically enter The Fade in multiple quest lines and no one will think it's a big deal. No, you still can't see The Black City. Now, The Fade is reduced to nothing more than your generic fantasy spirit world. It has none of the previous rules and lore that bound it before. Demons can bind to non-mages and we won't attempt to explain it. Solas fucks with The Veil and not a single mage notices a change in their dreams when they sleep at night. No biggie.

Lastly, let's return at last to the actual minutiae of writing. I stated at the start the writing isn't bad because of Marvel quippiness, which the series has always had. I was partly lying. Yes, the series has always had anachronistic dialogue. It has had meme language in its own previous titles. But, it was just that, a small joke here and there. For the most part the series actually tried to use it's own sort of "older" speech patterns. I think a perfect example has to do with Taash, she eventually finds her own identity and declares she is proudly "non-binary." Literally stating, "so, I'm non-binary." I have no issue with this sort of inclusivity in Dragon Age, it's what the series is known for. Yet, why does that sound wrong? Simple, it's far too anachronistic. It doesn't belong in Dragon Age. In Inquisition, Dorian let's us know he's gay. But he doesn't say, "I'm gay!" or "I'm a homosexual" those terms would not exist in his world. Instead he says, "I prefer the company of men."

And it's these little subtle changes in writing that makes it feel all the more different. We went from "I once ventured in to The Fade to serve the Old Gods of Tevinter in person. I found there only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. Now I shall return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world gone wrong. Pray that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods. And it was empty."

To: "Well, shit. That can't be good."

So, what do we have when all is said and done? Well, we have a decent generic fantasy action game. An intentional attempt by the developers to remove every edge from the world of Dragon Age in place of a very simple, easy to understand world with not much depth beyond what you see. You don't need to think, just play and have fun. This is beyond turning a MP game into a SP game, which so blatantly obvious in this game. DA2 was developed in 16 months, but is carried strong by its writing. You see, nothing prevented them from just acknowledging their own world they created. It costs very little to write around what already exists. Even if you can't make no assets or redesign the world. Writing is cheap and having characters voice these elements is not as costly as a redesign. No, they chose to remove the edge in every element because this was design intentionally for the masses with easy to understand world and zero depth.

But I wanted to play Dragon Age. I wanted to get into intense religious debates with party members as known lore is completely upended. I wanted to debate Elvish clans deciding to join Solas or the other Gods due to their treatment by human society. I wanted to debate the ethics of necromancy with the Mortalitasi of Neverra's Crypts. I wanted to engage in intense debating with Solas on the ethics of his goal. I wanted to see Tevinter react to a real push for anti-slavery and actually see the slavery in the slave capital of the world. I wanted to butt heads with the Antivan Crows and call them out for the murderers they are. I wanted to see the Black Divine and debate the Chant of Light with them. I wanted to speak to the Archon of Tevinter and see how he felt about the Venatori's past efforts in Inquisition. Hey, what happened to Meredith Reborn in Kirkwall and her idol and Red Templar worshipers? Forget about it.

We got none of this. I got a game that is pretty much disrespectful of its own world. I waited 10 years for this? Why even bother if this is the result? They may as well have just killed every previous character we ever knew, including Solas, offscreen and started anew with this game. Because as a Dragon Age game and sequel, it's terrible and no returning character is how they should be.

And when we get to the ending, that's pretty much what they did. Everything you did in all the past games? Well, that was pointless. Everyone is probably dead. King Alistair. Gaspard. Celene. King Bhelen. The Arl of Redcliffe. The Divine. The Circle of Magi. The Templars. The Seekers. Everything, everyone, and every organization that existed in the South is likely dead and destroyed. And now Dragon Age can become what they wanted, a generic fantasy IP.

But I just wanted to play Dragon Age.

[skylerskyhigh]

Ah screw it. Imma rant about my fic

When I started this fic, I didn't plan to have such an extensive theme. But as time passed and I fleshed out some ideas, I started thinking about the themes and character arcs that I wanted to explore.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to write all of the arcs or finish the story, or maybe even continue with the second book, but I wanted to put these ideas out here just in case. It'll be fun to go back to.

SPOILERS FOR "CUT YOURSELF ON MY GLASS PLATE"

Also TRIGGER WARNING FOR SERIOUS TOPICS LIKE SELF HARM, SUICIDE, ETC

Cale and the cycle of self harm

I'll start with the main character for this story. OG Cale Henituse. Throughout the story, he is going through a rough time. Aside from the trauma of going through a war, the crux of his issues is the fact that he had been abused.

Cale had been hurt by a lot of people. Either through neglect, abandonment, or self hatred, Cale had been through a lot. It cut his self esteem into a simple concept of "If I am alive, then I should be useful to others."

He doesn't care about himself. He constantly puts himself after so many people. His wellbeing is always second to someone else.

After the death of his family, Cale gained his Ancient power. A power that turned his pain into power. It is because of this that he put himself through a lot of shit.

With physical proof that his pain means something, Cale will begin a spiral of self harm that expands bigger and bigger as he loses the people he loves. Not only is he grappling with a lot of issues of survivors guilt, abandonment trauma, self hatred, and PTSD, the driving force behind his actions isn't to live. It's revenge. He wanted to kill the person responsible for his family's deaths. It's not about him. It's about avenging his family.

Not only that, near the end of the war, Cale stopped wanting to live. Life stopped having meaning because he didn't have anyone to life for. Cale never lives for himself. Always for others.

He put himself in an abusive relationship, for the sole purpose of turning himself into a weapon. To make his powers strong enough to cause significant harm to White Star. All of it with the intention of dying right after he was done. He didn't want to live. But he didn't want to make his life worth nothing. People died while he lived, so he should do something to make his life worthwhile. Either he dies in battle, or he dies after hurting White Star.

Cale went through a lot. While most of it isn't his fault, some is the direct result of his actions. His lack of care for himself lead him to seek self harm as some form of redemption or punishment. Time and time again he is hurt. He denies help. He seeks out misery like a drug. Self harm comes in many different forms and Cale explored a lot of it.

For Cale to begin to heal, he needed to stop this behavior. He needed to stop seeking out ways to harm himself. He needed to stop his own cycle of abuse. But its not easy to do that.

His theme is exploring that cycle of self harm. The thoughts while grappling with so many complex emotions. The effects of grief, loss, and low self esteem. The spiral that people go through while being trapped in a perpetual loop of abuse. It's not easy to escape such a cycle. For Cale, it's hard to break free from it when he believed that he needed to redeem himself in some way. Or that his life is worth less than the lives of others. Cale cannot justify living if he doesn't use his life for something useful. Breaking free from that spiral isn't easy. But he won't be alone to do it. Not this time.

Choi Han and the sins of the father

Admittedly, I didn't have plans for him at first. But as the story expanded, so did his character arc.

In the original timeline, Choi Han was a bastard. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. He was an asshole to Cale.

(I don't hate Choi Han but narratively, he was a terrible person in this story in the original timeline.)

As the main abuser in Cale's life, Choi Han played a significant role in harming Cale. Even when he was deceived by Cale, his actions are not justifiable. He was abusive, cruel, and irredeemable. A far cry from the canon of TCF. Blinded by his black and white mentality, Choi Han often physically hurts Cale to the point of death. He treats Cale like a villain, but he doesn't give Cale the freedom of a quick death.

All of this is to preface what the current Choi Han has to face against. The current Choi Han did not abuse Cale. However, he has to face 2 issues.

1) Face the consequences of someone else's actions.

2) Grapple with the reality that he could have- and had- become a terrible person.

Let's start with the first one. The concept of the "sins of the father" is a common trope. Think of Pink Diamond from Steven Universe. Even when Steven wasn't the person who had harmed a lot of people, he still had to grapple with the pain that his mother had left behind. The lies, hurt, and trauma that she had inflicted on others. Steven had to answer for the actions of someone else. That's what Choi Han has to do.

He didn't abuse Cale. But another version of him did and he had to face that problem. There are clear signs of abuse on Cale. The fear in his eyes. The vitriol in Hans' tone. The wariness, pain, and terror he has to deal with. Choi Han did not abuse anyone but the pain is still there. There are invisible yet clear scars on Cale and he has to answer for them. He has to fix them. He has to answer for the crimes that someone else had committed. Choi Han has to redeem himself even when he wasn't the one who had abused Cale.

Sins of the father is such a complex concept. There are a lot of factors in play. Not only are the victims of the person suffering from the actions of the perpetrator, but the blame did not fall on the perpetrator but another person. A completely blameless person at that. Yet due to their connection to the perpetrator, that person has to answer for it all.

For Choi Han, the responsibility of the OG falls on him. He needs to redeem himself even when he didn't do anything. Yet he cannot just ignore it when the victim is affected by the actions of the OG. He has to go through a redemption arc but skipped the reason for his redemption. He's not redeeming himself but fixing someone else's mess.

As for the second point, grappling with the reality that Choi Han was a villain.

Anyone would be messed up if they knew that they could become a terrible person. Choi Han was Cale's villain. His abuser. The reason he flinches every time Choi Han shows signs of anger. That would mess anyone up. Imagine knowing that you could become a terrible person who willingly physically harm another person.

While Choi Han has some murderous tendencies, he isn't a bad person. He clearly wants to be good. He saves people. He help others. He has a strong moral code and a sense of justice.

But he also kills people he deems as villains. His view of the world is different. Due to his isolation in the Forest of Darkness, and the constant struggle in a "kill or be killed" environment, he adopts a very "black and white" mentality. Good people deserve to live. Bad people do not. Subconsciously, he treats bad people with less respect and consideration. He can be very vicious, cold, and sometimes cruel to the people he sees as "bad". There is no grey in the world for him.

So when he was faced with Cale, someone who actively portrays himself as a "bad person", his dark side shows. And as the war progressed, that dark side of him grew.

Now the current Choi Han has to look at himself and do a lot of self reflection. He doesn't want to be the person who had hurt others so cruelly. How could he look at himself when he sees the damage "he" had done? He doesn't want to be the person he hates. He doesn't want to become like the cruel people who willingly harms others.

With hindsight and a glimpse into a possible dark path in front of him, Choi Han needs to reevaluate himself and think about his actions more critically. If he doesn't, he might just follow the same dark path. He is a good person. He doesn't want that to happen. To prevent it, he needs to do a lot of self reflection and improve upon himself.

It's not to say that Choi Han is a bad person. But just like everyone else, he has the potential to become one. He also has the potential to become a good person. It's about consideration of others and a lot of self awareness.

There are others but it's getting late for me so I'll cut it here for now. I might make a part 2 with Hans and Paseton, since their character arcs are more recent.

[i-dont-work-here]

It's time. Again.

-PART 2 OF OC LORE-

Destinee Collins, EngD

RobCo Employee #127 (Ghoulification Initiation)

WARNING: There may be a bit of brutality and gore. And mentions of vomit. Eh.

War. War never changes. That was a realization Destinee had to come to. There was no more time for peace negotiations between the U.S. and China. There probably wasn't going to be any more U.S. or China left. That sentiment was fully instilled when another bomb fell.

This one hit a little close to home, home being the bunker she was currently trapped in. They were almost in the exclusion zone, if it weren't for the fact the nuke had hit mere miles away. If you want exact numbers, I couldn't give them. 10 or more miles, maybe, but nothing definitive. But, one thing was for sure. They could already feel the effects, and not just because of the ground shaking.

After a few hours or so, the nukes stopped going off. The buildings surrounding the underground bunker had fallen. And the world, all in itself, had fallen into silence. You would have thought Destinee and everyone else in the bunker would have been fine. But we already know that wasn't the case. It was only a matter of time before the ghoulification process would kick in...

And damn, did it hit like a motherfucker. There were no radiation proof suit to keep them safe. Barely and RadAway and barely any Stimpacs. The soldiers hoarded most of them to themselves. Destinee, along with a few other RobCo employees, were left with nothing. They were the first to decay. And all because of someone's greed. Greed makes or breaks a man. Greed makes or breaks the people around the man. And it easily went and tore them apart.

Destinee wasn't one for confrontation. She hated it. But her fellow RobCo employees weren't like that. Employees #1754 and #2580 were willing and able to kill anyone they saw that had something they needed.

-Battle of Bunker Intheria-

(This part got deleted and didn't save. I'm gonna fucking cry, man.)

The battle wasn't so much as a battle, but more of a conflict due to dwindling resources.

The soldiers failed to realize that they did not lock the weapons storage. With grenades and laser rifles in hand, #1754 and #2580 ambushed them. Though, not without a little help from a few soldiers. They were able to convince to turn on their fellow man to obtain resources.

The battle was... in all honesty, quite quick. And the soldiers were taken by suprise. Hell, someone had spit out their Cram (damn mystery meat). It took only a mere few shots to the head, a few seering lasers to kill them (even though we know, based on game logic, would have taken 20 or more shots for one person). The RobCo employees and their allies reigned victorious.

But, you may ask, where was Destinee? Cowering in fear. We've already established that she hates confrontation. She locked herself in the control room, away from the fight but also able to watch it on the cameras. Who knew your allies and friends could be so damn brutal...

They had finally gotten what they needed. They had gotten enough resources for themselves and even cut down the people who would need said resources in the process. Sure, some got hurt. It was expected. But they finally were set. Though, only for a while. Something very terrible, very irradiated, was festering...

Destinee, along with one of the soldiers she got to know as Cole Giles was already decaying. Their skin, once semi-pristine, was now falling off their body. Their flesh started tearing like wet paper. The medbay in the bunker was empty, though it had previously been torn apart in the battle for the bunker.

The bathrooms of the bunker could very well be called a crime scene from how much blood and vomit had come from the decaying two. It was hell, a suffering they had never felt before. Some may portray the ghoulification process as something simple or skim over it entirely. But I'm not going to. This shit isn't fun. It isn't easy. It's a deep, painful suffering, one that, hopefully, no one will actually have to experience.

But enough of that. I don't wanna dwell on the bad things. I'm trying to bring this back to being lighthearted. I'll have to save that for...

-PART 3 COMING SOON-

[nikalaeva]

"Gray Rhysand", or Dreams that didn't come true

Reading posts and comments from Rhysand's fans, I mostly see two arguments:

1 - "well, what did you expect, Rhysand is morally gray, he shouldn't do good things"

2 - "Rhysand did it for the sake of family/love/the common good/the future...!!!"

Rhysand fans are as cowards as SJM. They don't have the guts to admit that their blue-eyed boy did terrible things, so they're willing to curl up into a Mobius strip to fix it. SJM was scared no one would accept Rhysand as Feyre's endgame after the UTM shit. These people have no idea what "morally gray characters" are, just use the term when it suits them.

ACOMAF was a complete disappointment to me. I knew before reading that Feyre would end up with Rhysand and I was excited about how that would turn out, and it turned out... sucks. I think even a failed attempt to continue ACOTAR-Rhysand would have been more enjoyable than this ridiculous retcon.

I wanted to see Feyre make Rhysand answer for what he did to her.

I wanted Rhysand didn't make excuses and not even think of apologizing at first, 'cause he is not human.

I wanted them to be at each other's throats, afraid to admit to themselves they in love.

I wanted Rhysand try to buy Feyre's forgiveness, but she would accept nothing less than a honest apology.

I wanted Rhysand, who was a terror to the High Lords, whose cruelty Amarantha had appreciate, became pathetic because of Feyre. For Feyre to bring him to his knees with her die-hard will and the courage Rhysand lacked.

I wanted him to say: "I offered myself to Amarantha to save my own skin. I didn't care who called me a coward - not until you. It makes me sick to think that some human girl saved my homeland, my future. I thought love that would save the world was a fairy tale, but you became living proof. And now I want that power. I want love. Your love." Sorry, I'm not a writer, but I think you get the point.

Their relationship and Rhysand's personality was meant to evolve throughout ACOMAF and ACOWAR, changing with Feyre's role as Cursebreaker in Prythian's fate, problems with Illyria and CoN, the war with Hybern... but no. SJM literally had to ruin Tamlin to get Rhysand and Feyre together.

How much so you have disrespect yourself to accept such a lazy writing?

[whomadewaffles]

Some pjhazel incorrect quotes I've been saving for awhile...I feel like with how starved for content shippers of these two are right now, keeping these to myself would be a crime. I'm SO sorry for not citing sources. I wasn’t originally planning to post these, and finding them retroactively is like.. impossible.

Pjhazel is the focus, but others are included as side characters. So if you don't ship them, then just scroll on by and go about your day, please!

Also, for a heads up that will apply to all 3 parts: expect bad language and sex references cos obviously.

Oh, and this is part 1 of 3, even if it is the longest part

Long post under the cut!

_______

Josie: You slept with Hazel? OUR Hazel? Callahan??

Pj: I didn't know what else to do! She had those big, sad eyes. I couldn't help it.

Josie: ...sure, sounds like you had no other choice.

--------

Pj: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or sarcastic and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

--------

Hazel, jumping out of pj's closet: BOO!

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj:

Hazel: *makes the patented Hazel callahan sad face*

Pj: Ahh! Oh my god! You scared me!

------

Hazel: TERRIBLE NEWS!

Pj: Did you disarm the bomb?

Hazel: If I disarmed it, would I come running in here and shout, TERRIBLE NEWS!?

------

Pj: hazel, you are such a nerdy little dork, you can't pull any girl.

Hazel * has been crushing on her since they met*: okay. that's fine.

*2 years later*

Hazel: so what did you say? Repeat that again.

Pj: 🤡

--------

Pj: It has come to my attention, that I have some unresolved feelings or resentment toward my father.

Therapist: a little late, but I’m happy you’ve taken this first step. Now you can start looking to overcome that.

Pj: Already done. I’ve found a full proof solution…I’m going to ignore it. Completely and utterly.

Pj: just like my dad did me.

--------

Pj: the secret to being impulsive successfully is being faster than the consequences of your actions. you can't let them catch you or its all over

Annie: is that why everytime Hazel even looks at you since you kissed her you run away like a little bitch?

-------

Pj *trying everything she can to kiss hazel again without just admitting she likes her like a normal healthy person*: Hey, are you aware that kissing reduces stress?

Hazel: Okay.

Pj:

Hazel:

Pj: Hey, you look stressed. Like, really stressed. Just wanted to let you know.

--------

Hazel: It’s not that I don’t trust pj, I just... don’t trust her impulse control

-------

Hazel: None of you might remember this, but there was a time when PJ considered herself out of my league.

Hazel: Oh, how the mighty have fallen (into my arms)

------

Hazel *trying to teach her girlfriend how to take better notes in class*: to make it easier, you should always highlight the important things

*later*

Annie: Hazel, why are you covered in different colored highlighter?

Hazel: don't ask

Pj: she's important! okay!?

-------

Hazel: I'm freaking out, How do I make our first date really romantic?

Stella-Rebecca: Be mysterious.

Hazel: Okay!

*later, while on a date with pj* 

Pj: So where are we going?

Hazel: None of your fucking business.

Pj *is shocked and a little turned on* 😳

-------

Pj: Yeah, I lost the ability to give a shit at a very young age. It was a very tragic accident. Never recovered

------

Pj: *on the phone with josie* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.

Josie: You’re pulling Oreos apart and shaving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you?

Pj: Maybe.

-----

Pj: I love you.

Hazel: I thought I annoyed you?

Pj: You do annoy me. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating moment with you.

--------

Pj: Im tired

Hazel: You should come to the gym with me! We could make it a date and exercising gives you energy!

Pj: Yeah, the same energy you need to go to the gym

Pj: Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me

------

Pj *texting*: I'm showering

Hazel *texting back*: oh nice, send a pic of you're hair in a giant spike lmao!

--------

Pj: rest assured, rational me and impulsive me are having a fucking smackdown 24/7 100% of the time

-----

Hazel: Please, this is the 4th time its happened, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Pj: I'm sorry is this OUR broken nose? Stay out of it.

------

Pj: I asked Hazel out.

Britney: Oh, I’m sorry.

Pj: Why?

Brittney: Well, I assume she said no.

Pj: No, she said yes.

Brittney: Really? Then I’m sorry for her.

-------

Pj: Shout out to my girlfriend who just randomly decided to eat my chapstick.

Hazel: WHY WOULD THEY MAKE IT COTTON-CANDY FLAVORED IF IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE EATEN?!

--------

Pj: You're annoying.

Hazel *in her head*: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

------

Pj: I win

Hazel: I am literally pinning you down

Pj: I know

-----

Hazel: So sorry for making you fall in love with me because of my autistic swag and kissable lips.

--------

Pj: *Drinking a bottle of water*

Josie: Since when do you carry water? I've known you my whole life and you never do that.

Pj: Hazel freaked out ‘cause I told her I never drink water

Pj: Now she’s making me drink 8 glasses a day

Pj: It’s like, there’s water in soda, coffee, the little pools of water on pizza…

Isabel: …That’s grease

Pj: Well it’s wet isn’t it!

-------

Hazel: You're in love with me?

Pj: Unless you're not in love with me. Then I take it back, because, you know... I'm cool.

-------

Pj: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Hazel *singing*: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Pj *happy sigh*: Yeah, you're my dork.

--------

Pj: I'm a very good liar.

Josie: Yesterday, I asked if you were missing  hazel while she was gone, and you said "no" right before bursting into tears.

--------

[orlissa]

I like the idea of Wicked being a film, but I heavily disagree with (and hate) the casting of Elphaba and Glinda. I’m sorry to the actor himself but I disagree with the casting of Fiyero; however, I’m sure Jonathan will do fine. Ariana and Cynthia are narcissistic pieces of shits and the showed us proof more than one time, but moving on. That’s not Elphaba, that’s fucking Shrek.

Regarding the "stage" version and that only, I understand why nobody sympathizes with Nessarose getting killed, but aside from Elphaba’s subplot involving Dorothy, why else should no one have sympathy towards her? Genuinely asking.

Hi Nonnie!

Oh, yeah... I've been a big fan of Wicked since... around 2008? I don't even remember, but seeing it one the West End in 2011 was, with a bit of exaggaration, a highlight of my life, and while I was initially excited for it getting a movie adaptation... yeah, I did not ask for this. I absolutely agree with you - this movie is terribly miscast, (imho) misinterpreted, and on the top of that, a PR disaster, really. (The newest bit is that they held a special screening... with the Kardashians. No comment.) Yeah, I will not pay for this, anwill gladly watch it burn while munching on popcorn.

As for Nessa - I'm not saying she does deserve sympathy. From some aspects, she does - I do believe the "are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" line applies to her too. As a child, she is awfully spoilled, her every whim fulfilled, which makes - at leats that's how I'd analyze the character - her believe that she is entitled to everything - say, Boq's love. In which situation she also is a victim, because if it's not for Galind's scheming... but I'm getting away from the point.

So, yeah, poor, tragically beautiful child, who is waited and doted on all her life. And excuse me, my train of thought is gonna get a bit muddled here, because I'm writing this on a fly, and because it's been a good while since I saw the musical. So, the point is, despite being a spoiled brat (well, she is, in act one, a sweet one, but still a brat, who is endulged because of her condition), she could have turned out a good person, maybe with some reality check - but the thought I cannot escape is: while she was being spoiled, Elphaba was being abused (verbally, mentally, emotionall, probably fiscally), all in front of Nessa, and she probably didn't do much to prevent that. She just took it for granted that her loving sister (because Elphaba was loving, and I do believe that Nessa loved her in her own way) would take care of her.

So there are a lot of complexities here, that's what I want to say. Nessa ends up being a tyrant, and maybe deserves what's coming for her. But at the same time can we sympathize with her? Sure. I mean, it's not entirely her fault - we can sympathize with her condition, with how she is played by Galinda, how she is being enabled by her family, etc. So, yeah, there can be sympathy.

...But no happy ending for her (no-one really gets a happy ending here, okay?). That's where the whole PR train goes off the rails. Nessa is not a disability triumph. She is deeply flawed character with a tragic and dark ending, who also happens to be disabled.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Are there any new villians or characters that you are obsessed with?

Hmm, new villains... /: I've mostly been re watching stuff lately, but I do have a list of villains I don't really talk about but really want to!

Here it is! ^^ Bolded ones are the ones I'm REALLY REALLY into XD

Stuntman Mike, Death Proof

Look at him !! I could get lost in writing about a nasty creep like him. I want him to kiss me but I also wanna smack him; I dunno XD

Agent Eddie Zane, Man of the House

He's Bo-age Brian Van Volt (Literally the same year) and his character is a sneaky scoundrel who pretends to be the protagonists friend so he can get close to his daughter (And he calls her doll)- need I say more?? No, I don't think I do. Damnn.

Steve Abnesti, Spiderhead

Not gonna lie, I wanna write some really dark stuff for Steve.

Eleanor, Do Revenge

David Harris/Unknown, The Stepfather 2009

I love this movie so so much!! It always makes me want peanut butter toast, which is a little weird if you've seen the movie. David, though, oooffffff. He's so AWFUL. And he's got this shit under control, and his energy is so soulless, but ohhh boy, when he finally loses it?? I'm so obsessed. This is honestly one of my favourite movies and his character is played perfectly.

Suzie Marie Toller, wild things

MEAN GENIUS. MEAN GENIUS. MEAN GENIUS-

Rusty Nail, Joyride

LakePlacid3!Reba, Lake Placid

Gary Sitterson, Cabin in the Woods

I don't know, there's just something cute about him XD He's not full villain, but I'm very very intrigued.

Helene, Tony, and Becky Le Domas, Ready or Not

Chef Slowick, The Menu

He's so sad, I just wanna give him a cuddle and encourage him to cook at a soup kitchen. He's the kinda character where you just wanna be his favourite person- the only person not expendable to him (Including himself!!).

Chase McKinney, Now You See Me 2

Detective Wayne Bailey/Kirsch, Scream 6

Warwick, Graveyard Shift

Another one I could write some really dark stuff for... :D :D :D Sorry, haha XDD

Alexis Butler and Val, We Summon the Darkness

They're so crazy. I wanna be friends (Or more) with them so badly XD I just love any crazy women in horror movies- we need more crazy women in horror movies. I just love watching them to be gross and terrible, theirs something cathartic about it.

Pearl, X + Pearl

Pelle, Midsommar

Norman Bates, Psycho

Brenda Bates, Urban Legend

Another crazy lady. Rebecca Gayheart just did so amazing as Brenda, and she's so much fun, and just... yeah. I love funny Slashers.

Mulgarath, Spiderwick

Have you heard his voice? Its Nick Nolte.

... Count Olaf... Series of Unfortunate Events

Look, leave me be. He's just so GROSS. I love gross, irredeemable villains that you know the writers really just went 'I am going to make this character so unlikeable'. Truly top tier.

Capricorn, Cockerell and Flatnose, Inkheart

I always thought Cockerell especially was pretty XD Kinda Otis B Driftwood-Style.

Dag, Barnyard

I MEAN?? Ugh. I'm sorry. I know he's a coyote. But he's such a bastard and I love it. He's been a favourite of mine since I was a kid!

Lady Van Tassel and the Hessian, Sleepy Hollow

I know one person especially will be happy to see the Hessian on here- XD

Velma Von Tussle, Hairspray

She's so mean... Agh. Haha XD I wanna write that Wilbur scene in the joke shop with reader in his place XD

The Colonal, Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

Verosika Mayday, Crimson and Paimon, Helluva Boss

Nathanial Demerest, Wishmaster

The Trapper, Dead By Daylight

T.G. McCabe, S.W.A.T 2003

Little greedy coward that he is... I so wanna write for him XD

Please, anyone, if you're interested in any of these guys please tell me about it!

[originemesis]

@bored2deathiswear xxx

Mercy, what a terrible concept. Something about mercy felt futile, empty. It felt as if Mercy in a case like this meant nothing, only another word out of so many that in this context left a bad aftertaste. Adam didn't deserve Mercy, he was a problem, a problem that needed to be finished. Over, dealt with. But when she looked at him with those eyes and begged him for Mercy, how could he say no? At this point, he'd have given up all his wings and crown for her. "You have to save him."

Her voice echoed in his head for days as the wounded bird was in and out of consciousness as he was tended to by one of his demonic subordinates. The healing process was long but worth it.

But...was it worth it?

Because at where he stood, looking at what he was, it didn't feel worth it whatsoever. It felt like another regret. His serpent eyes stared at the havoc, the storm tantrum the favorite of heaven threw and all he could feel was pure spite. Asking himself "Why?" Only to be reminded. Hoping that Charlie was right on this because he felt it to be so wrong. He trusted her, he just didn't trust...him.

The king of hell remained in place as the gaze of Adam turned to him. Away from the light and in a sober stance. Arms behind his back, staring down at the other. The lip twitched up some as he was talked to, ever so lightly, a microscopic reaction to the whole ordeal finally translated into the physical sphere.

Then...

Step.

Step.

Step.

Until his feet were by the turned bed. His black leather boots shone under the gleam, his face still somewhat darkened by his hat, and the shadow of a slight glare. His hands around his cane as it stood behind his back.

A sigh. Equally as unshowing.

"Is this how you show gratitude? I give you comfort and what you do is turn it upside down? Rampage it and destroy it like a child?"

-Indeed you can't fix an old dog - A thought occurred in his mind as he stood there, closer to the captive. His voice strangely calm and cold.

The scowl he wears- worn when he knows he's being watched without reason, remedies to a sharpened grin as his display of explosive disdain for creature comforts finally draws his annoyingly omnipresent audience over right as he slashes a sharpened talon through a crude drawing in the wood that looks sort of like his jailer, but far more muppety. Since that was the last of his nails that needed buffering, he settles into his sideways slouch upon the baseboard as it creaks under the effort of supporting a hybrid being that carried a train's momentum with him if he timed his air tackles just right. Not that there was any air to catch even with the high ceiling rafters with his wings firmly wrapped under bandages tightened to speed up the various small boned breaks and feather sprains, but then fitted extra tight to spite him when he kept complaining about how the demon attendant assigned to his bedside for the first grueling months of mending really should have bigger tits.

Examining the new sheen at the tips of one flexed talon like listening to the other is an afterthought of all the clearly important tasks he had to do to finish his redecoration plans, he loses a snort at the tail end of the sentiment he manages to catch. "Pffbt- gratitude?! Oh, I'm soooo grateful for being locked up in your little shit of a zoo exhibit- do you even hear yourself right not?" Wrist flicking as he gestures around the area as if the other forgot just where he'd stashed him surrounded by several smothering force fields, then quirked a brow bidding the other an accusatory 'well??' Like he wanted to hear whatever snowflake excuse he'd concocted as reason for it again- because he didn't, it was always the same shit with this guy. Mercy for the sake of gloating. The apple wallpaper (he'd definitely scratched up by now) was proof of that.

"-and any-fucking-ways, who said I needed comfort? I made the earth into my personal Minecraft server from literal shit all. I think I know how to rot in cell just fine~" With a condescending croon over his knuckles, he adjusts with his arms tucking behind his head like he's finally getting comfy now that the room's showing more signs of his resistance. "Which won't be long once the seraphim find out where I am. I'd say it's been nice knowing you in a, y'know! Unfucked by the energy of a thousand suns state. But it hasn't, soooo..."

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

That was my mistake, my source was basically just the overall atmosphere of the first chapters of Elysian Realm and how she was referred to as a traitor. Thank you for correcting me I did not mean to spread misinformation

Apology accepted! It's alright, you just got a bit carried away at the end of the day, but it's good to remember that most folks won't question "facts" if they have no prior reason to doubt them. We can't count on others to fact-check. Spreading speculation as fact is unfortunately VERY VERY EASY even when we don't mean to!

Adding stuff like "I think" or "My guess is" helps tamper credibility a little bit (though it's not anywhere near foolproof with word of mouth quoting instead of linking...). What I often do is that I go back and look for my sources mid-rant to make sure I'm not making anything up from half-remembered blurbs, when it's my own post I'll even add proof in the form of quotes or references.

Obviously there's no need to always go that far, no one wants fifty asterisks in your ask to source every statement and it's not too serious when it's just a fictional character, but do pay extra attention if you're talking about an actual person. Speculating about a fictional character ultimately just results in grumpy fans (usually). Making shit up about a stranger can have harsh consequences! Keep speculation to an absolute minimum there, even if they have rancid vibes, okay?

Keep in mind also, when you don't like the character (or person), you will subconsciously paint them in a less favorable light. Even neutral or kind acts may seem bad from a certain angle. They're just helping this grandma cross the street to make themself look better!

The inverse is also true, we will be inclined to trust and agree with people if they go along with what we already believe, like or feel is right. Everyone's point of view in the world is subjective, we will see what we want to see if we're not thinking things through, and gravitate towards an echo chamber that reinforces existing beliefs.

To circle back to the original point, you sent someone who hates Elysia information that made her out to be originally written as murderously narcissistic (admittedly less boring than what we got) which was not founded on actual facts, but very difficult to verify since it's scrapped content. Now, I know that this was an accident, a mistake on your part. That's okay! However.

Some people exploit this implicit trust maliciously for their own ends (like trying to cancel someone, or a character/ship they don't like). These people know that if they sound like they know their stuff, an audience won't think twice about it, all they need is a platform to spread their ideas even with no basis.

For example... they can send an anon ask to a relatively well-known blogger. They know they can even make themself sound innocent from planting the idea by asking it as a question. As long as people hear it, it doesn't matter if it's true in the slightest.

My point is, I will believe you in particular just made a mistake, but from what @cloud-ya's told me, there was an ask in her inbox doing that exact thing to the extreme. Specifically bringing up wild speculation about what Elysia would think of real-world events, framed in such a way as to make her sound like a terrible person. Elysia is a fictional character, she doesn't have opinions, any speculation thereof is projected onto her according to your own personal agenda.

Needless to say that's not appropriate in the slightest and highly manipulative. Deleted immediately. Asks like these should never see the light of day!

So, let us take it as a warning both for folks like you who send their thoughts, and folks like me who receive them, that we can all accidentally contribute to hatred and misinformation, even if it's an accident...

Let's keep everyone safe by paying attention to what we platform!

[snifflesthemouse]

Final Post before I go... to remind some of you exactly who this author is...

I am a recovering addict who has almost a decade clean and serene. I know, without a doubt, I am a HORRIBLE wretched human being. I lived with a narcissistic murder/psychopath before prison, and then I lived with all kinds of them IN PRISON. I walked past meaner, more dangerous people to go poop or shower than anyone behind a screen here. I have lived life. I'm nowhere near a narcissist. You have no idea who I actually am, you only see what I construct for you to see to protect my own identity.

Saying I am a narc because people are having trouble following my very long, drawn out posts is stupid. Clarification isn't indicative of being a narc. So literally every single YT channel or anyone wanting to find a different medium for further clarification is a narc then? I think not. I think most of you pick up words and repeat them without thinking of the true connotation of the word's meaning

Really, right now, I am just thinking out loud to myself about why I am attracting dumb people here all of a sudden.

Calling me names, calling any person like me names, only makes me laugh. It's cute to me. When people call me names or say things like they have some authority... it only shows me their water levels... and boy the drought is upon us!

When you've spent the first two decades of your life conning people and putting thousands of dollars up your nose or in a vein, you get to know people. Truly see the worst society has to offer. My cellie in prison stabbed her best friend 72 times. 72. We ate lunch every day together. She was a narc.

OH, FYI... A water level is someone's mental capacity in the con world. I embrace critically thinking people who can form a thought and express it without being like me deep down inside. If you are NOT like me, you are a good person. I am not a good person. DUH.

Deep down inside, I want to show my true colors. I want to be nasty. I want to skulldrag people sometimes. I don't though, because the old ways bring back the old me. I've worked too hard in the real world and I know my real world worth.

I don't owe anything to anyone. I try to be nice and not read the comments, or even my messages. But eff all that.

If you think for one second I am not aware of how terrible a person I was, you are stupid. I know better than you all could ever...

If you feel the need to say something rude, think twice. Please. I won't be held responsible for what comes off my keyboard next if you bring it to me first.

Let's just say I've said it all about myself at least 10x as bad before and 10x worse. I've said it MANY TIMES BEFORE but it seems people are too lazy to get a clue before commenting anymore.

I DON'T WANT YOU CRAPPY READERS AS BAD AS YOU CRAPPY READERS DON'T WANT THIS CRAPPY WRITER. So GTFOH.

That is all, folks.

Well, not really... Truth is I write things, I post them and walk off and live. I took my drug addiction and turned it into an empire where I am retired. I don't make money here. I've never once received shit, even though people quote my work all the fucking time. Funny. What's even funnier is how you can post real shit with real proof and people still be like "WhAt DoEs It MeAn?!?" They believe dumb shit about fucking reptiles but not common sense logic or real proof. I don't want fucking morons around me or on my page. If that statement bothers you... go ahead and block me. I don't block people because I don't ever read anything from hardly anyone else. I read a few blogs I Know and trust. But that's it.

I used to care that this blog was growing. That it had thousands of followers. That I still to this day haven't been able to follow everyone back because of the limits daily. I used to think being nice and just ignoring the rude people was the thing to do, because hey at least they read and you made them think... that's all an author wants. Readers to think... harder, differently, whatever. JUST FUCKING THINK.

SO yeah... do with that what you will. Because this author will continue to do whatever the fuck this mouse wants. This mouse isn't like some Yter or some blogger begging for cuppas and tips. I got cash, and I got ass. I don't get shit for shit. It is my hobby. I'd get it if one of yall paid a motherfucking bill sometime. I might listen. But I do bad all by myself.

DONE

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I know you make it a point to not get involved in fandom (esp. on this site) because it's not worth the inevitable drama but I just need to vent a little.

Yes. Tumblr is "the queer site" or whatever. Okay fine. I believe everyone should be free to enjoy their content however they want its whatever that's what tags are for etc etc. But within the only fandom i even sort of interact with here there's been a recent uptick in the bullying of people who don't push certain messages, politicks, or HC/Ships. So some of us thought we'd make things easier and try to make things calmer in the tags by making a discord dedicated to actual factual tolerance where everyone who wanted to join in could openly discuss what they do/don't like no judgement no strings no doxxing and no requirements for everyone to agree just freedom to have whatever opinions even those that don't necessarily match the majority. Yknow, so I don't have to be dogpiled for not liking the ultra popular coffeeshop au fic series or Adam B Example isn't getting crucified for not enjoying whatever ship.

But no. No this cannot be allowed. Clearly everyone in this server is a raging ist-o-phobic slur-slinging terrible-no-good-very-bad villain with a capital Evil. Look we have redacted (and faked, but how do you prove that) screenshots of them being vile nazis in their semi-private server! More cropped proof seen here where they got annoyed after my friends and i decided to brigade and troll their introductory room by spamming it with graphic imagery and childish namecalling! They banned the smurf accounts we made to do this with too see how hateful!

Sorry i know it's not your drama I just.

Ugh. Is it really that impossible for people to leave others alone? We're literally trying to give them all they space they want, none of us care or hate that the popular ship is popular or whatever their personal HC is abt X characters's sex life or any of that we just wanted to be able to freely chat about the franchise we love. And tired of being browbeaten and wanted to maybe make our own little space to do that.

Also wish these people could understand it is perfectly possible to be lgb et al and not like the current things '~Pride(tm)~' has going on these days. I know that's part of it. But demanding political conformity from people who just want to enjoy their hobby in peace is so so stupid but i can't articulate it in any way that people will listen.

If you don't mind, I would like to know what this fandom is so I don't accidentally become adjacent to it at any point.

But you're right to be upset by all this. These people have no lives and are bitter and hateful. I hope you don't let it ruin your enjoyment of The Thing or drive you and your friends to be silent about it. The only way to even begin taking fandom back is by ignoring this kind of shit and pushing through. I'm sorry you have to deal with immature little nothings who can't handle people enjoying fiction in ways they don't approve of.

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

Okay so we... need to get used to blocking more.

And I'm saying this now, while we're getting new Twitter users coming to Tumblr. Especially as it collapses.

People are going to say shit you don't like. If it's not harmful to someone else, just block them or mute them. If it DOES harm someone else, you can block and report.

Arguing over stuff is... something we all do occasionally but the twitter style of arguing and the tumblr style of arguing will become a shitstorm if they combine. We already have a LOT of problems on this website, so please. P l e a s e.

Do not argue with someone who has a terrible(see: not the same as yours) take on your favorite character. Block, or block and report.

Some other tips:

Callouts are also reserved for the worst of the worst of the worst. Not every 5 seconds. They are reserved for people who do real, terrible harm, WITH PROOF so that we don't just ruin random people's lives. Callouts, if wrong, can ruin lives. Exhaust all other options before calling someone out because again, it can quite literally ruin lives(I have seen at least 7 people die or completely go depressive spiral for YEARS for false callouts. It affects real people. Don't do it unless you fucking mean it.)

Tags are NOT FOR ENGAGEMENT. They are an organization system/personal thoughts bubble. You tag the thing that the thing is about, and then if you have extra thoughts that you, you put them down there too. If you tag things that you think are popular but do not belong in the actual tag itself (i.e., selfies tagged "scooby doo, rabbit, and dragon ball z" are bad and you should not.) You can actually get reported for that. Like. They'll take your post down for misusing the tagging system.

And finally

Blog about whatever you want. Literally. People don't come on here to get popular. The follower number is hidden behind screens no one can see but you. The reblogs and likes are for fun, and usually only really matter to the people who NEED them for business, outreaches for help, or art. Use reblogs as much as you can, they are the TOP engagement on this webbed site.

Have fun, and don't be a dick.

[d1rlin]

you DO know that endos are systems who didnt form from trauma, right? not people claiming to have did/etc. with no trauma. the carrd linked in your dni says endos harm did/etc. communities when they arent even in those communities, and (for the most part, not saying there isnt bad apples) dont target or harrass anyone with did/etc. feel free to not answer this but i just hope you learn to understand the people you hate before you hate them.

This does not include

- those who are groomed into believing their trauma wasn't good enough, those who were denied proper help, Those who are in denial about being a traumagen system, has conflicting disorders that makes it harder to be diagnosed, Etc

This applies to

those who want to be a system, those who want to "try" being a system, those who are wanting any disorders for fame, clout or their personal greed, read more here and here

DIDOSDD is a survival disorder. These posts on my blog are snippets. Do not take these out of context without knowing the full background on this you speak about, you can block me at any given time, I will not be arguing about something that professionals have said is fake. You can try to cancel me or think I'm saying shit out of my ass, I truly and respectfully do not care what others think of me. Especially online.

Feel free to block me if you think I'm just a cunt but truthfully they're not valid unless if the reasonings I gave line up with some of their stories. But don't drown out the ones who wants to be a system or want alters. Not to mention it is ableist. No one should want to be a system or have ANY disorder.

With that out of the way here's my half asleep response;

Yes and no, some people and if not majority of the endo 'systems' claim to be systems. Systems is a term used for DID/OSDD/UDD systems. Im not hating on anyone, that would by definition mean "to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry." I am not being hostile. I am not throwing no one under the bus. I repost posts from others blogs, I share my thoughts. And truthfully someone being endo or "other genic" is not possible.

I can feel differently towards those who actively want this disorder, please before you go in my asks make sure to do proper research and search. Before trying to judge how I feel about things that are scientifically proven to be false. Endos does harm the DIDOSDD community. By not only throwing traumagenic systems under the bus or trying to shun their voices away to fit the endo's narrative but also giving out misinformation. This does not outshine that some endos can be groomed into thinking they are an endo system but in factuality they can be a traumagenic system, thinking their trauma wasn't enough to be a system.

And in your own words and I quote "endo's are systems who didn't form from trauma." You're right some of them didn't. Which means they're invalid. Also how am I harassing others when I do not go in dms, i rarely if not ever go in someone's asks unless if it's about hyperfixations (that was only one person and one time. I saw they liked psychology and so do I) so your story is not adding up, it is trying to paint me as a terrible person who goes and harasses others. Please for the love of god get the full context, don't assume anything about me or put up lies about me. Especially saying I hate xyz. No. No I do not. You aren't me and I aren't you. So until you can tell me what exactly I feel or do in a daily do not try and write a narrative about me. Without proper reasoning, context, research, and context clues. As well as your own personal biases out of the story, pin point where I said and done what, send proof and actually think before making any lies about me. Thank you, next.

[ultrawalflower1212]

only friends thoughts

i'm probably going to do this every week so stay tuned for that ig.

this is gonna be divided into sections because it would be a jumbled mess otherwise. i apologise for how messy this is my laptop is breaking and so am i (i'm sleep deprived.)

Boston: first of all this man sucks so bad like truly a bottom of the barrel friend, i wanna take a second to talk about the college scene in episode one where their giving the presentation, i personally feel like each role their given in the project reflects who they are in the friendship group, and Boston says himself he's the yes man his friends say things and he just blindly agrees i feel like that's exactly who he is in terms of group dynamics originally you assign this to Chuem however she clearly has her friends best interest at heart whereas Boston just goes along with whatever because he doesn't care. everyone else brings something to the table Chuem, Mew and Ray all seem to care about each other and in project terms they all have roles Mew and Chuem do the heavy lifting Ray provides a worthy location. All Boston does is go along with it he seems completely detached from the others. i saw someone say that Nick is who Boston used to be and as much as i love that idea i take that and i raise you Mew is who Boston used to be and that's why he resents him so much only i think Boston's situation was crueller i think Boston was used because while Top's intentions aren't entirely pure he does genuinely harbour some kind of affection towards Mew. i don't think Boston got that i think Boston got used purely for sex i think Boston was a virgin who fell in love with someone like Top and that person took advantage of him. and the reason he resents Mew so hard is because Mew got everything he didn't.

while Boston is a a massive dickhead a lot of the fandom still really like him he suffers from Vegas syndrome because both him and Vegas are terrible people who fuck up the lives of those around them they are also incredibly interesting to analyse.

Mew: in my opinion Mew is not half as bad as people think he's going to be Mew is the fictional equivalent of people who are virgins but think the can do shit because of how much fanfiction they read (i mean that affectionately.) i don't think he's an innocent baby who has no idea what he's doing but i don't think he's a master manipulator i think the main reason we see him that way is because of episode one but that episode is told mainly from his perspective i think we see how Mew views himself not how he actually is. i think Mew is a bookworm with a hero complex like he's been warned about Top from multiple people so he wants to flip the script Mew's trying to outplay the player. i think Mew knows Top might get bored and leave him so he's trying to get under his skin but he seems to genuinely like him.

i don't think Mew knows how Ray feels if he does he would have brought it up already. bottom line i think Mew's flying to close to the sun and doesn't know it yet.

Top: first off Top was assaulted this episode, i've seen people use the shower scene as proof that he's unfaithful but i don't think that's true. we see multiple times that he's not interested in Boston he TELLS Boston multiple times that he doesn't see him like that, he's clearly uncomfortable in that scene he even tells Boston no. that scene is assault the only thing that scene proves about his relationship with Mew is that Top keeps secrets which makes sense because he is new to the friendship group he doesn't know how close Mew and Boston are doesn't know if Mew will believe him, Tops place in the group is fragile it makes sense that he doesn't want to jeopardise it.

Top and Boston are different Boston tells Nick in episode two that Nick is his favourite he also tells Nick that they can either be fwb's or fuck buddies Boston doesn't do relationships while Top wants to date Mew and is trying to make Mew his boyfriend. Boston tells Mew that Top get's bored after a couple of months implying that while Boston is promiscuous Top is a serial dater or at least someone who hook ups with the same person more than once.

Ray: i feel like Ray views his money as his only redeeming trait and that's why he's so comfortable paying Sand to be his friend, we see that in the presentation scene as well (when asked what he is contributing he says that his dad gave him a house to use for the hostel.)

someone pointed out that Ray's mum died of alcohol poisoning and if that's true then i think that's such a meaningful scene.

i feel like a lot of the reason why Ray likes Mew is because Mew cares about him, like in his friendship group Mew is shown time and time again caring deeply for Ray the only other person who cares about Ray is Sand. Ray reminds me of those people who try and romanticise their suffering because that's all they can do, like he parties to be around people because he hates being alone and drinks to the point of unconsciousness constantly just so he doesn't have to be around himself.

Sand: i don't think Sand knows just how bad Ray's issues, are as far as he knows Ray is just a sad rich boy with mild alcoholic tendencies and i feel like most of their conflict is going to come from this.

i feel like him and Nick living together is such a good idea narratively like the possibilities are endless.

Nick: Nick kind of feels like Mew's foil, while Mew knows exactly what Top is capable of and tries to give as good as he gets, Nick has no idea what he's getting into, while he was originally interested in Boston sexually i feel like Nick really wants a genuine connection with Boston and got a situationship instead. Nick is the only one completely out of the loop, everyone kind of knows each other because of the bar but Nick is the only one who doesn't go. what makes his relationship with Boston more complicated is that when Nick asks what they are to each other and Boston gives him the options of friends with benefits or fuck buddies Nick immediately latches on to the lesser of two evils choosing fuck buddies to try and create distance between them to try and protect himself Boston basically takes away that option and insists that they become friends with benefits instead. one thing i haven't seen people mention is how after that scene Boston's behaviour towards Nick changes, he starts acting more affectionate; kissing his cheeks, using his childhood nickname being more touchy.

i feel like nick and Boston's relationship will get a somewhat happy ending (because it's gmmtv) but i feel like most of their issues won't be resolved on screen.

i don't think Nick has the best self esteem because of a multitude of things; teased for his appearance, hates having his photo taken, gave him himself a makeover/glow up because of that i don't think he's aware just how attractive he is, this could possibly end up playing a role in his relationship with Boston, as of now Boston is the only one we see openly find Nick attractive but if Boston brings Nick around to say the club that could definitely change and Boston could get jealous which would change their dynamic quite a bit. i see Nick getting tired of Boston's double standards and his 'one rule for you a different one for me' mentality.

Cheum: the most stable one in the friendship group, we don't know much about her and i truly hope that changes. she's the glue of the group. i love her relationship with April. i have a terrible feeling that something horrible happens to her (and the surfing accident was foreshadowing) i really hope i'm wrong.

yeah i really like this show, it's taken over my brain. i'm probably oing to post another one of these after episode 3.

[weirdstuffinthewoods]

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

I'm awful at starting niche blogs, so I'm trying to stick to what I know and love. Something I know very well and love very much is this box set right here that I'm still mad at myself for getting rid of (I bought the 3-book treasury it's just not the SAME)

If you're a millennial of any age, you were probably traumatized by one or more of these bad boys. Alvin Schwartz sat down in the late 70s (book 1 was published in 1981!) and said, "you know what? I'm gonna scare the pants off a bunch of kids and they'll thank me for it later." And you know what? I kinda do.

I've spent a lot of time trying to find the root of my horror obsession, and I thought it was seeing the 1990 made-for-TV version of IT at a sleepover in 3rd grade, which resulted in two traumatic years of night terrors, calmed only by...reading the book it was based on? And then all of Stephen King's other works that were definitely not appropriate for a barely 9-10 year old? (For years, I'd skip the adulthood sections of IT when I read it because I found them so boring, so I had a half-finished story in my mind. Go figure.) But that wasn't it. I thought maybe it was finding the Informania: Ghosts and Informania: Vampires books at the Scholastic Book Fair and poring over them obsessively for years (more on this at a later date) but nope.

It was Scary Stories, Alvin Schwartz, and Stephen Gammell.

If you want some of the story surrounding these books, I recommend the Prime/Freevee documentary "Scary Stories". I remember none of it, but that's the ADHD and I can't help it.

From a quick Wikipedia search (they have never steered me wrong and this is a for-fun blog y'all), it looks like Alvin Schwartz is a folklore dude, which I aspire to be. He published multiple other kids' books of folklore aside from the Scary Stories trilogy, including A Twister of Twists, A Tangler of Tongues, but these were illustrated by a dude named Glen Rounds and I mean look:

A little weird, but not nightmare-inducing by any means. Although the amount of hair is concerning. American folklore gets lost in the shuffle a lot so it's cool for kids to see it. Then, a bit before 1981, he meets this fuckin' guy:

Who yes appears harmless but single-handedly molded me as a person with just some watercolor and pencil. Without his illustrations, Scary Stories wouldn't have the legacy they do today. Proof? The books were rereleased in 2011 with different illustrations. From the guy who illustrated the Series of Unfortunate Events books (Brett Helquist). I'm sure those were fine but like come on.

as compared to

Which one is a kid (ie me) going to cover with one hand while desperately trying to read the other page?

Stephen Gammell has a decades-long career which is briefly highlighted in this Bloody Disgusting article, excitingly enough. Before Scary Stories, he actually did another scary book series for kids which has some unsettling illustrations

and he did some historical illustrations for stuff like Thunder at Gettysburg and Terrible Things: An Allegory of the Holocaust which no I will not be looking up because I need to sleep tonight.

The article also goes on to mention how amazing Schwartz's research abilities were considering none of these stories were original- they were just collected from around the US and the world and compiled into a (not kid-friendly, no, but) kid-interesting version. There were also audiobooks (books on cassette? I guess?) for at least one of them so I assume all three, and I distinctly remember (I'll point to the exact stories later):

sitting:

-in broad daylight

-at the reading table in my classroom, probably 3rd grade too

-headphones on, volume up

-sweating absolute buckets because I was listening to this baby which ETSY SOMEHOW HAD

ARE YOU JOKING ETSY??? I'm okay though I don't need the nightmares back.

George S. Irving deserved every penny he got for this work and a whole lot more because that man scared the shit out of me. Also found out as I was reading his Wikipedia article that he played Heat Miser in The Year Without A Santa Claus. Well. The more you know, I guess.

Anyway, going forward, I'm going to go in depth on some of my favorites, and hopefully you come with! Send me questions or suggestions on stuff you want me to talk about or look at :)

Also yes I've seen the movie no I will not talk about it here but maybe later because it's been awhile since I saw it