#I just want it to be treated with the love and support and respect it was crafted with and deserves!
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HII HOW R U?? I was wondering if u could make a yandere caitvi x reader(like a poly relationship). Just headcannons if u like!! I really love ur postss💗💗
Yandere!Caitvi x Reader Headcanons
i’m great, tysm for requesting! sorry it’s taken me a while to get to this ^^
i was gonna add a section on how they kidnap you (figured i’d use it for a different fic) and an nsfw section but i didn’t know if anyone wanted that so i skipped it this time
HOW THEY MEET YOU
ok so vi is the one who notices you first - at first, you’re just another person who blends into the crowd at her fights
but then she begins to see you at every single fight of hers without fail, always with a huge handmade sign that says something like “step on ME, vi” or “vi, you’re the BEST!”
she thinks it’s endearing how someone like you, so unassuming and cute, is hanging around shady dens like this just to support her
you manage to catch her at the bar after one of her fights and you two strike up an unlikely friendship
she starts to fall head over heels for you - you don’t seem to care or even notice that she’s a mess
in fact, you’re hellbent on fixing her and she can’t help but have massive heart eyes at this point even though she’d normally find something like this demeaning (she doesn’t need to be saved!)
all her life, she’s chased after the people she loved and prioritised their well-being and now someone’s finally doing the same for her
you make her feel so seen at a time in her life when she feels incredibly lost and worthless
however it’s at this point vi leaves the fighting scene and reconnects with cait - you gave her the strength to do so
vi always feels guilty about this but you’re always in the back of her mind, a hopeful what if to ponder on the lonely nights after a lover’s quarrel with cait
so it’s nothing short of serendipity when cait starts to come home later and later, talking about a new recruit who has potential that needs to be nurtured and look at that - it’s you
cait knows she needs to be faithful to vi, she would never dream of going behind her back, but she’s drawn to you in a way that simultaneously confuses her and excites her
she becomes your mentor and sees parts of herself in you and that just makes her obsession infatuation that much worse
cait blurs the line between appropriate behaviour between a subordinate and their junior; she shows up at your door randomly for a “work assignment” and pries into the private details of your love life
if she finds out you’re dating someone or interested in someone other than her, your work life becomes a living nightmare
you’ll constantly be admonished for the tiniest infractions simply because she’s wants you all to herself and doesn’t know how to express her emotions in a healthy way
vi can’t even find it in herself to be jealous when she sees the lustre in cait’s blue eyes, one that’s only reserved for her, starts to come out whenever she’s around you but she does feel left out, after all, vi found you first
the two end up having a conversation and realise that they can’t live without you in their lives - all to themselves, that is
OK TIME FOR WHAT THEY’RE LIKE IN A RELATIONSHIP
honestly i think vi is the one you can wrap around your pinkie finger - she has such a soft spot for the people she loves and she’s not afraid of making it known
you want more treats? she’ll sneak them in
you want to go outside? ok, but vi is handcuffing you to her and you can only stay out for five minutes
surprisingly she respects your boundaries and tries not to be overly affectionate with you when you don’t want to be, even if it kills her inside
don’t think you can ask to talk to family and friends though, that’s completely off-limits and you will see a sadistic side to vi she doesn’t normally let out
i imagine her punishments would be something to the effect of her saying extremely cruel and upsetting things to you to remind you of your place
she would also be into physical punishments like spanking but not anything that could really hurt you - she would have a breakdown if she hurt you to the point of serious injury and would never forgive herself
cait on the other hand is essentially the “bad cop” in this scenario, it’s not that she doesn’t love you, in fact i would say she’s probably more obsessed than vi is, it’s that she doesn’t want to risk anything bad happening to you whatsoever
she went lax on punishing zaunites and it ended up with her mother dead - she’s not taking any risks when it comes to you
it harder to tell with cait but she does try to show her affection, it’s just not as obvious as the way she acts to vi
she does like to be physically affectionate with you more than vi does but this too is very subtle
she likes to make these actions seem like a necessity when really it’s for her own satisfaction
e.g. she’ll hold you hand and profess it’s because “you might fall over” even though you can see the faint blush on her cheeks - you’re both aware it’s a terrible lie but are equally too embarrassed to mention it
like in my other work, her shows of affection come from giving you books, painting lessons and expensive clothes, etc. - she wants to nurture your talents and expose you to the finer things in life that you’ve missed out on
she lowkey has a superiority complex when it comes to this lmao but i think she does it all to mask her deep insecurities
she doesn’t want to seem weak in front of her darling
her punishments are more harsh. i feel like she would put you in isolation and leave you hungry if you refuse to abide by her or vi’s rules
i hc that this stems from her childhood; her mother would withhold affection (maybe not to this extent) whenever she misbehaved and this way of thinking carried over to adulthood
this means that caitlyn and vi do tend to argue over what they think is best for you and it lowkey gives divorced parents energy - they’re constantly trying to prove themselves right
it’s a very volatile environment to be in
imo this is kinda cait and vi’s way of flirting too 😭 in the aftermath they look back on it like ‘awww she cares so much about our darling she’s willing to fight over them - so cute!’
their relationship stays mostly the same as it was before just a lil more intense
they’d both be yandere for each other, it just manifests a lot more strongly with you
like, they know they can look after themselves but you’re so weak they need to go above and beyond to ensure their most precious darling is safe
they both plan detailed daily routines for you and you’re micromanaged down to the smallest details: how long you can sleep for, the food you eat, the exercises you do, the clothes you wear, the people you can interact with
in my mind, this takes place at the end of s2 so you live with them in cait’s mansion - they’ve both experienced a LOT of trauma which contributes to them developing a codependent relationship and having to drag someone else into their mess
it’s definitely a stifling relationship and it feels like you’re never truly alone, if for some reason they can’t be there with you there’ll always be a trusted maid or enforcer keeping tabs on you
omg wait they definitely give you a diary and say it’s private but at the end of the night they’ll read through it to see if you’re planning anything they wouldn’t agree with
cait came up with the idea and vi thinks it’s a violation of your privacy but she goes along with it anyway
would never admit it but secretly it’s her favourite time of the day (if she respects your physical boundaries, she’s gotta break some other boundaries - give her a break!)
they just want to patch up the pain they feel from all the losses they’ve had to deal with and unfortunately for you, you’re their bandages
#request#yandere!caitvi#yandere cait x reader#yandere vi x reader#yandere cait#yandere vi#arcane#arcane headcanon#yandere x reader#yandere#cait x reader#vi x reader#cait x reader x vi#cait x vi#arcane request
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the emperor is clearly setting up fan xian to take over the country but not, i think, as next emperor...i think he's hoping that the next "phase" of societal development will be kicked off by fan xian. like, the monarchy will be abolished and fan xian will be in charge. he thinks monarchy is stupid and the only person he trusts to abolish it right is the guy whose consciousness is a partial copy of his own. why else would he be assisting fan xian in consolidating power (or rather, sort of forcing power onto fan xian from all sides, even though all fan xian wants to do is live a carefree life and not have anyone trying to kill him) while at the same time allowing fan xian's gross breaches of etiquette and respect toward the emperor, and not only allowing them but bringing attention to them in front of everyone and being like, aw, you kooky guy, not kneeling to me. you're so funny. live your truth. like that's actually insane?? bixia i am obsessed with you.
#joy of life#i can't stop thinking about the emperor he is consuming me...who is he...what is he doing...#sadly i no longer think it's possible for him to be fan xian's mom :( but i am embracing the possibilities inherent in the other major#contender for his identity...that he's fan xian (or rather that fan xian is him in some way)#my posts#jol emperor#i also want to know what is up with all of fx's daddy figures. he's got: his actual dad; his FIL; chen pingping who was in love#with his mom; the emperor; his laoshi; and wu zhu shu#wu zhu and chen pingping's utter devotion to him makes sense because they were devoted to his mom#laoshi helped to raise him so obviously they're close. but who really sent him? was it dad fan? was it chen pingping?#his FIL supports him because he lost his heir and needs a new one and fan xian is nice to his other kids#(speculation) bixia has his back because the emperor created him in a lab for the express purpose of abolishing the monarchy#and also like. general egotistical reasons bc they're kind of the same person (or at least that's how the emperor would see it)#so really it comes down to his actual dad. what is the deal with that guy#was he ever actually with fan xian's mom? was he a sperm donor. why does he treat fan xian with so much respect#he was close buddies with chen pingping right? when did chen pingping become paralyzed? can he have children?#was the original plan for chen pingping and fan xian's mom to have a baby implanted with bixia's consciousness#but chen pingping was paralyzed and his bff fan-xiong stepped in to provide the dna?#or is dad not biologically fx's dad but for political reasons they all agreed that he would be fx's dad?#like who all is in on this and what is the agreement they actually have#and does FIL know anything about it or is he just there like. i'm just happy to have a SIL <3
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one of these days i'll write up a post about the parallels and foils between vivi and hermes and why it fucking kills me. for now all i can say is in hindsight the 'latched onto vivi Hard as a kid' to 'latched onto hermes Hard as an adult' pipeline is Real
#ffix#ffxiv#vivi ornitier#ffxiv hermes#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy ix#the absolute fuckor#hermes really is just such an interesting and visceral deconstruction of/foil to vivi's themes#ranging from *vivi* being the one in the same role as the familiars here#in comparison to hermes meaning the best in the world and trying So Hard; but ultimately coming from a place of immense privilege#and the fact that he was fumbling around in the dark in a society that very aggressively tried to insulate him from any meaningful#perspective on the shitty things he had internalized about familiars without realizing it; much less knowledge to unpack it#and how in the end he still was shitty to and about familiars; including and especially his daughters; who he abused#and some of that stemmed at least partly from his own selfishness and the things he was in denial about#to the fact that vivi had *support* when it came to things like grief and fear and life being precious#and the importance of finding your own meaning in it; while at the same time treating unavoidable death with weight and respect#and people in his life being like 'yeah it's pretty fucking understandable to be fucked up about all this'#instead of at most condescendingly treating him like a freak and an outlier for like. fucking being sad or angry about things. lol#bc *vivi gets angry.* he doesn't just feel sad he gets fucking furious; he feels real ass hate; he wants people to die for what they've done#and when he *does* question that in himself it's not ~uwu if i hate people i'm just as bad as them~; it's 'i've repressed so hard that i#literally have forgotten how to identify what sadness feels like; and it bothers me that my grief response skips straight to hatred now'#i just. god i love vivi so much i could go on. anyway when someone tries to pull a 'familiar-equivalents are soulless puppets#with a single purpose and it's fine to kill them if they're defective or obsolete' vivi tries to explode him with his mind#and his friends go i'll help! and that's why i love ffix#ffixtag#ffxivtag#FF tag
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With the leak being more spread around even with spoiler warnings, and because of a post I saw earlier when the news of the entire ep being leaked was first breaking, I gotta say
This really is disheartening to see. This really does hurt the whole series and the ones behind it. As of right now, we haven't gotten an official release date, yes we got the 21st from the TV listings but I mean no source from Dana or disney, and while most of us on here know about it, more casual fans and even some international fans don't, so the entire episode being leaked could hurt their excitement or love for the premieres that Always (seriously I mean ALWAYS LMAO never forget HM) get an incredible amount of notoriety, which help boost more support for the series, which JUST recently got noticed by disney.
It hurts the chance of the franchise getting more support (ie books, comics, a possible video game, more official merchant, etc) because of the less talk about the episode.
And while yes a lot of people (including Ms Dana Terrace herself) pirate the show, whether it be due to international troubles or insufficient funds to get disney+, what ultimately helps as well is the notoriety each episode gets. Anyone can pirate yet still make 100+ posts about how good each new episode was and it would help!
Yet this time it doesn't help cause this came outta nowhere and now so many are just being spoiled, getting their hype flattened and being pretty inconsiderate to the entire crew who made all of it possible, the same crew who already were disrespected by their very company. (And I do mean everyone! So many of the crew aren't given as much props and respect yet deserve it all the same!)
And ngl, it really sucks considering this is the 2nd to very LAST possible product of The Owl House as a whole. There was so much support for Thanks to Them yet FtF already seems a bit cluttered.
It's not hopeless cause there's still a chance FtF gets a huge amount of support when it officially releases. This is a huge problem tho, one that's already leaking through every big ocial media.
There's really not a point to this post other than just to say, this fucking blows, support the series in any official way you can when it officially releases (Make posts! Draw as much art as you can! Tune into the PostHoots! Make as much noise as you can!), and please be considerate to those who refuse to even look at it until the time is right.
#The Owl House#TOH#Owl House#I!!!! HAVE LOTSA THOUGHTS#I AM TIRED!!!! EVERY YEAR TOH HAS BEEN DISRESPECTED#I just want it to be treated with the love and support and respect it was crafted with and deserves!#Its been a long near 3 years since it first aired and theres been a LOT of bumps ever since season 1 hell even since S1A!#And not to mention the cards have been against the show since the very beginning yet its immensely popular!#idk. just please support the show yall ✌️#edit: btw this isnt meant to bash people who watch it rn and will inevitably watch it illegally later ofc not#like I said theres problems for people who cant get or afford disney+ or have international issues and thats completely understandable#but like please dont spread posts around spoiling it until it officially releases#the show thrives on the huge amount of hype and popularity and this is kinda killing the hype#so I respectfully ask that you dont. do that pls lol
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yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad
#first of all...... treat kids with the grace + patience you wish you had been given when you were one. just. in general#second.....#god forbid a 16 year old have flaws...! especially when part of the boisterous energy is because she is masking#she has a very strong love for her home to the point she's gone into unknown territory#entirely in over her head! but she refuses to give up#it's an interesting way to look at how patriotism can affect a person when you look at the differing views of protecting wutai that her and#godo have. i'm so interested to see how 'a miserable daughter's homecoming' is gonna go in remake pt 3#given that we know they want to expand on wutai more than they could in the OG#remake intermission as well has been rolling around in my head bc i think its interesting that sonon still wants godo to be respected but#yuffie very much is like. nah fuck that old drunkard idgaf. at least thats how it comes across#i've always felt like the kleptomania was allowed to bloom because she didn't receive enough care or support on top of the patriotism from#young age... so the intermission dialogue makes me wonder if we'll delve into that potentially being the truth in part 3#anyway... rebirth gave such good yuffie + party sibling moments im excited to get more in part 3#especially with vincent because they're one of the funniest not-quite uncle and niece combos#yuffie ringing vincent post-AC and then he goes to cloud like 'tell her that's illegal' instead of just replying to her normally 💀funny af#pettiness off the charts. i adore their 'i do care about you greatly but i'd also sell you to satan for one (1) corn chip' dynamic#ultimately you like and dislike whatever characters#but its always worth looking past the surface level. you may discover that the layers have a unique charm to them#and if the charms don't appeal after that? well at least you now have a better understanding of the character. win/win#god knows i've tried to like characters and came out of diving into their facets -still- not liking them. but more often than not it#gives me some new appreciation of the character. because the depth is there you just have to put the effort in to connect the dots#(this was spurred on by brainless takes i saw in general chat of a public discord. yes i know. my own fault for looking in a godless place)#these tags are 2 short to add proper nuance to my thoughts but you get the idea. this has been my once in a blue moon ramble post o7#might delete later i just wanted the thoughts expelled teehee <3
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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#watching old adam videos about the colleen situation bc i never knew the full story#and the treatment of victims in this and other situations like it is so tiring#as a survivor who isn’t able to get justice it means so much to see her get so much backlash and to see the victims be heard#but being reminded about how conditional some ppls love and support for victims is sucks#like they want to baby you and be entertained by you#but if you talk about it too much then they’ll be annoyed#how else are people supposed to work through their trauma#like would you treat someone irl how youre treating these ppl online????#a victim is a human who deserves to tell their story how they see fit#you are not a king yelling at his court jesters to play ring around the rosie in front of you#at least respect the bravery they have telling their story in front of so many ppl#and the fact that we as survivors almost have to expect being torn apart#is sad#a grooming/sa victim is not a toy for you to micromanage or play with#you cant just throw them/the situation away bc you’re bored#i mean you technically can but remember that they dont get to do that#saying ‘i kind of believe colleen now bc you won’t stfu’ like imagine that#do you even think before you speak#📜.scrolls#🫁.vent#tw sa mention#tw grooming
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on my completed fics.
#like. was the fic i wrote not good enough? why do you just demand more more more more#its so demoralising. i want to enjoy writing i want to love what i put out i want people to enjoy what i write#but remember that fan culture is collaborative. it is not a transaction where x comments = me writing another chapter or a sequel#you have to support writers. and demanding more isnt support. it feels like when u go into the kitchen when ur mum is cooking and go#WHENS DINNER GONNA BE READY IM HUNGRY NOW. you just have to treat fic writers and artists with more respect i am so serious#also i will use the Santa template for this until i die its simply superior to all the others#apart from maybe the kirk one
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i have more things to say about gunichi and his first meeting with usagi, i just don’t have the energy to doublecheck the appropriate screencaps.
#usagi yojimbo#because like!! his introduction IS threatening! but!!#he gives usagi the CHOICE to use bokken for this duel. and usagi CHOOSES NOT TO.#he is a TEENAGER and RASH and HOTHEADED and he want to see if he is ‘WORTHY’ of the blades he already WON in that TOURNAMENT#as for why gunichi hunted down this upstart. in Addition to what he claims i think there are court politics at play#here#if i remember correctly. it is Other People who are saying that usagi’s skills may rival gunichis own.#rumors he’s trying to deal with. either by allying with this upstart or treating him like a proper rival (a respectable duel to the death)#pizzazz post#gunichi offered usagi the option of using bokken because he wasn’t interested in just testing usagi’s skills#he was trying to measure his character. which gunichi gets a feel for when they’re suddenly fighting together on the same side#usagi kills people for the first time and admits he didn’t think there would be This Much Blood. and gunichi laughs + offers to support him#i used to think gunichi was afraid to duel him after this. because i love usagi and believe in his skills.#but nowadays i think gunichi just didn’t want to kill him. because he WAS the more experienced dueler at this point. by a lot.#i can’t stop thinking about how years later usagi tries to convince nakamura (?) not to duel katsuichi to the death. about how this duel—#is pointless. and how nakamura tells usagi that he is not a true samurai#for feeling the way that he does#anyway gunichi is So fucking interesting and i never stop thinking about him
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a thing i have JUST realized, isn't the human brain amazing lol -- is that we talk about izzy's thoughts and feelings on ed, on blackbeard, about how he serves one but not the other, etc, etc, and how it means he never loved or even respected the True Man Underneath It All but rather the bloodthirsty legend of a pirate--
e x c e p t izzy is not the first person who makes the distinction between edward and blackbeard. it's ed himself, when he says "actually, i want to be called edward from now on".
before, when he was with stede, it didn't bother him at all that the crew called him blackbeard. that was his name! he was blackbeard, what else would they call him. only stede and izzy got to "ed" or "edward" him, because they were closer -- stede was his first close friend, izzy was his friend and first mate for decades. (note that fang was with ed the longest, but he doesn't call him by his name! you gotta deserve it.)
izzy doesn't do anything inappropriate or out of proportion when he snaps at the crew to call him blackbeard or captain -- that's who ed is, is supposed to be, to them. they're not friends! they even call stede captain, and have you seen that guy?
it's ed that makes the connection between his current state: draped in fuchsia robes, singing sad songs about how sad he is, showing his vulnerable and emotional state in front of people who are supposed to respect and trust his authority. and by that he splendidly loses that authority, to the point that wee john calls him ed, and when izzy snaps at him for disrespecting his captain, ed goes no, actually, yknow what, do call me edward! and then he goes on to encourage the crew to sing as well and hey, actually, why are we being pirates! we should do a talent show!
the distinction is clear here. before all that, in izzy's eyes, his boss was blackbeard, captain, ed/edward -- different names for different occasions, but one and the same guy. but now? this guy singing songs in a pink bathrobe doesn't want to be called blackbeard, he's edward! ed time now! we're going to eat marmalade and express our feelings in front of everyone! and hold talent shows! Ya Hoo !
yeah, it's no wonder izzy doesn't want that. he wants his competent captain back, and this current dude, edward? he's not him. so, uh,
#shrimp thoughts#AND it's not izzy that's the final nail to magenta ed's coffin. it's the lads calling for EDDIE to come and sing for them again#right after izzy -- his first mate! the guy who followed him for all those decades with only mild complaining and an occasional#fed up tirade here and there -- tells him he has no reason to respect him the way he is now. if that's the way with izzy -- then fuck!#what about these guys? those basically strangers to whom he stupidly bared his soul? who are treating him like a source of entertainment?#man's just lost izzy's support. he doesn't have stede (the guy who has the sort-of loyalty of the crew). and the crew respects and admires#blackbeard -- but ed? eddie? uh oh.#look at his face and body language before and after the 'hey eddie give us another song!'. before: he's clearly upset by what just happened#but he starts to fix the robe on himself. starts trying to deal with it and stuff. but the second he hears that one sentence? he freezes.#he turns his head towards the source of the voices -- the crew chanting his name -- very slowly. his eyes are barely moving#this is not to say that izzy's words had no effect on him because they clearly did! but he did not go full kraken to make a point that izzy#is wrong and actually pink and karaoke are good. he goes kraken because attack is the best defense. and it's so fun when#everyone laughs at your jokes and claps when you sing! it's just that people are fickle as fuck :/#tl;dr the bekrakening is a complex process that doesn't have its source in one grumpy first mate who just wanted everyone to do their jobs#but rather in a fuckton of factors from which one was -- yeah -- stede abandoning ed after he bared his feelings to him. leaving him a#confused raw wound. which would be fine if ed was a teenager but unfortunately he's a scary pirate who loves a good maim#this post is soooooooo long oh my god i could have fit it in three short paragraphs probably
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literally when I see women being frustrated with other women for staying with abusive men I feel like I'm watching the ouroboros. Like I get it, it happens to everyone, I've been there, but it's so self sabatoging.
#don't come at me if you're one of those girls currently angry at her friend for continuing to date an abuser after you and everyone else#told her not to#I spent 7 years watching different men beat my mother and I've had a lot of friends who faced very different kinds of abuse from other men#so when I say your anger is not constructive believe me because it is my anger too. and I know it hurts and I know it can drive you insane#but when your friend Sees that anger it will hurt her in a way you cannot understand. And if you are hurting her while you claim to love he#while you claim to have her best interests at heart -> then she cannot differentiate between the way you treat her#and the way her abuser does. And I know that's not fair I know it's not the same#And I know you probably care for her in a way her man does not. But when you tell her what to do she doesn't see You.#She sees the man who tells her what to do and how to live. She won't listen to you over that man because you sound the same#You sound eerily similar but he is manipulating her and you are just angry and upset. He will always seem to offer the better deal#so just don't be that angry friend anymore. Be an open door she can walk through whenever she needs a break from an evil man.#Be the life she Could have if she really believed she deserved it. Be good and respectful and supportive even when you feel like killing hi#show her how Everyone should treat her. Show her she deserves to be treated good; show her it is no problem for You to treat her good#And she Will start demanding that from men. From everyone. But she will do it on her own time#With her own setbacks and she will set her own standards. They might never be your standards but they will be better than what they are now#but first you have to be supportive and not angry. You have to root for what She wants and not for her relationship to fail#Even if you really truly hope the relationship will fail. You have to convince her that you want the same things she wants#You have to convince her that you want her to be happy no matter what that looks like. And Then she will ask you#To help make her life happier. And in my experience; that is the only way to truly see someone get to a better place#You have to help them get what they Want. This is way harder than being angry. Insanely harder. But I have seen women change a Lot#after I stopped feeling angry over them. After I stopped trying to convince them that I know what is best for them
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Idiot ex expected literally everyone around him to bend over backwards to do everything for him because he’s got ADHD and therefore isn’t capable of doing household chores or not breaking my belongings or responsibly managing his finances. He would throw up ADHD as a get out of jail free card literally every single time his behavior hurt me and I just had to accept it. Outright told me one time that trying to teach him how to do chores properly without breaking shit was triggering for him. But then was upset to see me call him an idiot and a coward in the notes on a post I reblogged about how shitty ADHD folks who use their ADHD as reason to never face consequences for their inconsiderate and selfish behavior.
Like yeah ADHD sucks and it requires a lot of difficult managing. But legit if you’re gonna say that it’s “triggering” to be expected to put away dishes without breaking them or take the used kitty litter to the dumpster outside every single day you’re just a pathetic self absorbed piece of shit. ADHD or not behavior like this has consequences and sometimes those consequences are the people you’re living with think you’re a selfish moron they don’t want to live with.
Your RSD is correct here dude, acting like this will make people drop you from their lives. You’re in your 30s and can’t do basic household chores. I had to walk on eggshells literally constantly with him because expressing even the tiniest amount of being upset with him would trigger a full blown self loathing meltdown and then he would be upset at me for hurting his feefees. He’s got ADHD, he’s got RSD, he’s got bipolar, it’s oooobviously my fault for triggering him and I need to calm him down and coddle him and reassure him that I’m not going to leave just because he hurt me repeatedly and did nothing to make up for hurting me or stop that behavior that was hurting me. He’s not capable of doing better and it makes him feel insecure that I deserve better treatment he’s not capable of giving me. I better reassure him that I’m okay with his shitty treatment of me or else he’ll fuckin kill himself. No he doesn’t want to go to couples counseling, that would be a waste of time and money.
Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not getting rid of all the glassware in my home so he won’t break it constantly. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I didn’t remind him to maintain his friendships outside of our relationship, obviously not telling him to remember to talk to and spend time with his friends is the same as somehow forbidding him from seeing them. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I don’t want to cook literal goddamn chicken rice & veg meals for his fucking dog and foot the bill for it, just like I was paying all of the other household bills as well as our entire shared food budget and cooking our meals every day because he would break shit and set fires if I didn’t. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for expecting him to actually pay the landlord his portion of the rent. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for smoking so much of his weed. Wow I’m such a shitty partner I won’t allow his awful cat in my home again after it slashed my fucking eyeball and put me in the ER. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for being constantly made sick by the filth and squalor he created faster than I could clean up without help. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for expecting to be helped with the cleaning. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not accommodating his ADHD and letting him treat me like garbage without consequence. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for having needs and boundaries. Wow I’m such a shitty partner for not tolerating his abuse forever.
It was abuse.
He abused me.
Having ADHD does not make your behavior not abusive. ADHD does not absolve you of being an abuser. There are plenty of ADHD folks in this world that have actual honor and dignity about themselves. Don’t act like ADHD is a free excuse to abuse others. That’s not RSD talking that’s your conscience, listen to it. Treat those who care about you with genuine respect and they won’t reject you.
#this is goggles#bleh I’m cranky and lonely but at least I’m not dealing with his idiocy anymore#I would very much like to be held and loved#not loved for how silently and gracefully I can endure being abused#I want to be loved gently#I want to feel safe to express negative emotions with them in a healthy manner in ways we can work on solutions and build a better love#I want to feel like I don’t have to be the only responsible person in charge of everything all of the time#I want to live in a clean home that doesn’t make me sick with masses of spilled soda and cat piss on every surface and bugs and mold#I want to have my belongings regarded with care and have them replaced when occasional mishaps happen#I want to not have to constantly be parenting someone older than myself because they completely lack basic skills and emotional regulation#I want to be able to rely on my partner not just be a totally reliable rock to them without support of my own#I want to relax and feel at peace in my own home not constantly stressed by their behavior and shit pets#I want to have people in my life who make me feel secure and safe and supported and seen#I gave up everything to leave that life behind me I deserve and need better from the folks around me#it sucks and it’s lonely but I’m going to find better#hopefully in Seattle I’ll be able to find friends and love and support I need#I really hope so this life is so lonely and my body aches so much#When I feel like I miss him it is not because he was a good partner it is because I haven’t ever had a partner to live with before him#I will find a new partner who will want to live with me and will treat me better#I will get the love and respect and support I need elsewhere he won’t give me what I need#just gotta ignore that irritating feeling of missing him it will not benefit me he will only hurt me and make me feel like I’m at fault#even his friends think he’s a douchebag I wish I would’ve listened to them early on when they were trying to warm me#bleh my body aches I really need some touch and affection#I hate possessing this almost esoteric knowledge that being held reduces the pain in my body this was so much easier to handle before#I’m going to be 27 in a couple weeks I’m still so young but I feel so old#I have never been good at dating and I loathe having to date to find a partner can I just skip ahead to the part where I have a kind lover?#I want to have my back rubbed and neck kissed I want to be held while I sleep and feel safe and at ease#I’d take it even for a single night right about now it’s been months and I know I have months more ahead of me before I’ll even be hugged#wish I had the dough and know how to hire a companion for the evening#not even really for sex just like I really need to be held for a little while being held is so important for my mental and emotional health
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i just like having fun with him. sex is fun. laying next to him is fun. hearing him play video games with his friends is fun. sitting in the car listening to music is fun.
#i’ll be there when it’s not fun too#when it’s hard i’m there#he deserves love and support#and he doesn’t always get treated very well by the roommates#and it is upsetting bc i want to just defend him but we’ve talked about me fighting his battles for him#i respect his boundaries#but dammit it makes me wanna snap to see him in pain
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So there's an interesting phenomena I've stumbled upon, maybe it's just what happens when you get older and you see things for what they are. People (men and women) will try to passively make you feel bad about something you already feel kinda bad about. But when you confront them with it they suddenly have nothing to say?
#It's just really curious. Can't imagine living like that#I'm a very direct person imo and I always weigh my options like... what purpose does it serve?#What will happen if I say/do/ask this?#And is that what I really want?#Usually no. So I simply refrain#But if I want an answer because I can't fathom the reality of what the other person will say then I just ask!#Likewise if you're trying to be hurtful... I will not find purpose in being hurtful back. It only hurts us both#And what point is there to that? It just begets anger and resentment. Who fucking wants that?#Mostly I will not engage#Like I am not afraid to end an interaction once this sort of thing happens#But for example my s/o said something I didn't care for#So I told him I don't find any purpose in being hurtful back & we'll talk when he's ready to#Because I had a MILLION insecurities to put on him. But they served no point outside of being hurtful#So this response actually achieves a few things#If I truly believe he doesn't think I'm worth the time then he won't bother responding#Or he'll be childish and simply stop talking to me#Which I think would be super funny#But then he really will be alone with no one around him supporting him.#And *that* is something I can set a boundary for. If he can't nut up and talk about what's going on....#I can't keep thinking I'm not worth his time. I will simply kill the version of me that loves him and move on.#It'll suck and I don't want to. But I won't let anyone treat me without respect and I won't be disrespectful of anyone either
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Sometimes, as much as I love internet communities and spaces, I really think a lot of people have spent so much time in sanitized, morally pure echo chambers that they lose sight of realism and life outside the internet.
I live in Alabama. My fiancée and I cannot hold hands down the street without fear of homophobic assholes. We have an abortion ban with no exceptions for rape or incest. We are one of the poorest states in the US with some of the lowest scores on metrics related to quality of life, including maternal mortality, healthcare, education, and violence. It’s not a coincidence that we are also one of the most red, one of the most Republican states in the Union. In 2017 the UN said the conditions in Alabama are similar to those in a third-world country.
Trump gave a voice to the most violently racist, sexist, xenophobic groups of people who, unfortunately for most of us in the Southern U.S., run our states and have only grown more powerful since his rise to power. The Deep South powers MAGA, and we all suffer for it.
We have no protections if they don’t come from the federal government.
I know people are suffering internationally and my heart is with them. However, this election is not just about foreign policy - we have millions of Americans right here at home living in danger, living in areas where they have been completely abandoned by their local leaders. We need this win.
No candidate is perfect, but for the first time in my voting lifetime I’m excited to vote. I’m excited for the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz ticket because they are addressing the issues close to home. They’re advocating for education as the ticket to a better life, but without the crippling student debt. They’re advocating for the right to love who you love without fear and with pride. Kamala has always been pro-LGBT+ and so has Tim. Again, if you’re queer in the South, we don’t have support unless it comes from the federal government, and we absolutely will not have support if the Republicans regain the White House.
Kamala speaks in length about re-entry programs to reduce recidivism and help people who have been arrested and imprisoned regain their lives. Tim Walz supported restoring voting rights to felons. In the South, you know who comprise the majority of felons? Members of minorities. It’s one of the major tools of systemic racism and mass disenfranchisement, and arguably the modern face of slavery (there are some fantastic documentaries and books that explain the connection between the post-Reconstruction South and the disproportionate rates of imprisonment for BIPOC). Having candidates who recognize this and want to restore the freedom and rights to people who have come into contact with the criminal justice system? And keep them from having to go to prison in the first place? That’s refreshing. That’s exciting.
I would *love* to live in a country where women’s rights are respected, where LGBT+ rights and protections are a given, where we treat former criminals and individuals experiencing mental health crises with respect and dignity. I would *love* to live in a country where education is free of religious interference and each and every citizen is entitled to a fair start and equal opportunities.
But I don’t live in that country. Millions and millions of Americans find their rights and freedoms up for debate and on the ballot.
Project 2025 poses the largest threat to the future of our democracy as we know it. We are being called to fight for the future of our country.
We have to put on our oxygen masks first before we can help others.
You don’t have moral purity when you wash your hands of the millions of us who are still fighting for own freedoms right here.
The reality is that a presidential candidate is a best fit, and not a perfect fit. But comparatively speaking? Kamala is pretty damn close.
#us politics#kamala harris#vote kamala#vote blue#don’t forget about the southern states please#we’re still here
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i made this instagram post !!! there isn't as big of a community of AAC users on instagram so I thought I would share this on my instagram (@cytochromesea).
EDIT: i got an ask that states that not everyone knows what AAC is which is an oversight on my part, it stands for alternative and augmentative communication!
Image ID:
A light blue background with a rainbow and a cloud and some stars. There is a blue border collie with wings holding an aac tablet that says I love you! Text reads: AAC etiquette. Do’s, Don’ts, and other stuff. By cytochrome sea.
The same background appears in every following slide. Text reads:
AAC is my voice! It is not a toy or accessory
Don’t touch my AAC without my permission
Don’t take my AAC away from me, for any reason (joke, punishment, etc)
Don’t press buttons randomly or flip through my communication cards without permission
How would you like it if I randomly poked you on the mouth and throat (or on your hands if you sign)? It would be unpleasant, so don’t do that to me
Some AAC users can speak sometimes. It is not your business why someone can or cannot talk
Don’t ask questions about why an AAC user cannot speak.
Do let us communicate however is best for us in that moment
Don’t ask us if or when we will be able to speak verbally. It’s not your business
Do not value verbal speech more highly than AAC. Any communication is good communication
Some of us never talk, either, and that’s ok! Those of us who can talk sometimes are not better than those of us who can’t. None of us owe you an explanation for our use of AAC.
Don’t look at my screen until I show you. It feels really invasive!
It feels like when someone is looking at your phone screen over your shoulder, so please don’t do this
This applies to low tech AAC as well, don’t look at someone’s cards or letter board until they show you
You have the dignity of forming your thoughts in your head before you say them, whereas my thoughts are all on display. Please afford me the same dignity that you get automatically.
Don’t shame someone for not being able to speak verbally. It makes us feel horrible
We are real people with thoughts and feelings. Please treat us with kindness.
We are trying our best
Don’t shame someone if their device mispronounces a word. It’s quite literally out of our control.
Other Don’ts. Don’t
Don't Treat an AAC user as childish or stupid for not being able to speak. Our ability to speak does not define our worth
Don't Show frustration at the way someone communicates
Don't Make comments about how fast or slow we communicate
Also don’t…
don't Act surprised when we swear or talk about adult topics like sex, drugs, or violence. We are not pure uwu precious smol beans, we are normal fucking people
don't Assume what is “wrong” with us. There are about a hundred reasons for someone to use AAC and you probably aren’t the expert in any of them.
“OK, so what CAN i do?” im glad you asked! When interacting with an AAC user, DO…
Ask us how we prefer to communicate and support us as you are able
Assume that we are competent
Talk to us with the same respect, tone and vocabulary that you would for any one else
Give us money (this one is a joke)
Understand that AAC grammar isn’t perfect and we are doing our best
Is it rude if…
I can’t understand your device? Not rude! Misunderstandings happen all the time in any conversation, just be patient as you would normally.
I want to complement your AAC? Not rude!
I ask to see your AAC and understand how it works? This isn’t rude if you are already talking about AAC, but don’t ask random strangers this. They don’t owe you an AAC tour.
Thank you for listening! This post is for the community! If you are an AAC user, let me know if I missed something in the comments and I will pin it! I hope you are filled with peace and love and I hope something good happens to you today! End ID.
#chrome barkz#aac#aac user#part time aac user#actually autistic#autism#coughdrop aac#autistic#selective mutism#selectively mute
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