#I just think it’s funny to assign them stupid experiences

[macksartblock]

I’ve made a kiddads post assigning them things that I did/happened to me growing up. Now I’m doing that with the dads and my father’s experiences.

Darryl: In high school, he snuck out to attend a party - at a barn, in the middle of nowhere - with the rest of his football buddies. He did not have a good time and left not even two hours in. Frank didn’t even question him on his whereabouts, he woke up his parents and flat out confessed upon returning home.

Glenn: He was out at a bar with the GCT the night before his wedding. He’d only had one drink and walked outside to call a cab when he fainted and hit his nose off the edge of the curb. No one could figure out why he fainted and, sporadically, he still does. His nose is broken in all of his wedding pictures.

(Bonus: he once fainted in front of a cop after there was a noise complaint. Morgan came down to see Glenn flat on the ground and a mortified cop at their door. Glenn does not remember this at all.)

Ron: Early on in his relationship with Samantha, he took Terry Jr out on a “stepfather-son bonding day”. All they did was sit in a cafe, staring at each other in silence as Terry Jr had a milkshake and Ron had coffee. Ron did not like it and started stealing some of Terry’s milkshake with a spoon. This was the closest they’d ever been before the Forgotten Realms.

Henry: My father is simply too put together. He’s never had an experience like Henry in his life.

[pixxyofice]

🏰 cursinguponcastles

of course i manage to grab everything EXCEPT for my anxiety medications. they're still stuck there!! in the House!!! every night I worry my friends are going to leave me for asking them to come along and some part of my brain is like "you wouldn't be worrying if you had taken your meds" and I have to then tell my brain the meds. ARE NOT WITH ME!!!

(this post is unrebloggable.)

-

(anon) asked:

plum? how have you been running this blog without anxiety meds?

🏰 cursinguponcastles replied:

Um! How did you know I didn't have my anxiety meds??

-

(anon) asked:

Don't the Houses keep stuff, like, forever? I'm sure if you go back to that House you'll be able to get your meds back. Unless it's like, frozen or something?

🏰 cursinguponcastles replied:

Oh. Ohhhh. Well, um! I am going back to get them! They're back in Dormont! I just won't be focused on getting my meds when I'm there, you know??

-

🎗 ribbpeat reblogged from 🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

so was anyone going to tell me the savior of vaugarde runs a horror blog account or was I supposed to just find that out from her APPARENTLY LEAVING HER MEDS IN THE CENTER FREEZING POINT

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🍙 chateau-riceballs reblogged from 🧦 socks-to-be

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the savior of vaugarde turns out to be a tumblr user

🛴 offowchmy-nkee

and this is bad... how?

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

How is this not obvious to you people? She's on tumblr. She's been ACTIVE. Instead of doing her job of saving us she's been giggling about her little vaugarde boys getting eaten. I'm sitting here typing with one arm waiting for vaugarde to be saved, and she's wasting time reading. Boo-hoo she left her anxiety meds in the House where the King is freezing all of us from. Actually, wait! Why didn't she just turn around and take him out? If she's supposed to save vaugarde, assigned to, and she was close to its starting point, why the hell did she walk the other direction and faff about?! Some Savior she is! Most of the country is frozen because of her! And instead of just shutting up and doing her job she went on a funny little pilgrimage. I'm not calling her a Savior anymore. 

🐱 ChangeGirlClaws

do you know about the existence of paragraph breaks. Like at all.

🎀 darts-chatting-blogg

Instead of looking at... all of that, apparently not everybody knows this so look at this.

THE DOORS OF DORMONT GOT LOCKED BY THE KING AND THE SAVIORS HAVE TO FIND FIVE ORBS TO BE ABLE TO EVEN TRY TO SAVE US. And in case you don't know, Vaugarde is huge! The saviors passed by my place a week ago and they only had four Orbs then.

I think Plum and her friends are making good progress, actually! I think she's allowed to relieve stress by reading about guts and gore, actually.

🍙 chateau-riceballs

she's what

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🐝 finalgirl-standing reblogged from 🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

🍯 lovelyhoney-truths

Not only does that orb bullshit sound made up and stupid, but apparently Plum also runs a guts and gore blog??? what the fuck is wrong with her. Has she Changed to be so disgusting when she should be Changing herself to be able to save the country?? Do you guys really believe that shit? I haven't heard of a House where Orbs lock the gates, that's clearly her making up excuses for why she can't just go there and beat him. How can her friends stand to be with her when she's this irresponsible?

🎀 darts-chatting-blogg

One. The King warped the place (see image here!) and Dormont was known for experimenting with locks. People just be saying crab, I guess.

Two. Defenders. Get their asses. I'll start.

C

🎗 ribbpeat

R

🍑 yetanotherfinepeach

A

🛴 offowchmy-nkee

B

🐱 ChangeGirlClaws

P

🍙 chateau-riceballs

O

🦴 justanotherchange-blog

W

⚓️ insertcreativebloghere

P

🧦 socks-to-be

E

🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

N

🐝 finalgirl-standing

I

(this post is unrebloggable.)

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⚓️ insertcreativebloghere reblogged from 🦴 justanotherchange-blog

🦴 justanotherchange-blog

if I was on a journey to save the country and I forgot my focusing meds at home I would just forget everything. Honestly, Plum's doing much better than I am???

⚓️ insertcreativebloghere

If i had to save the country without my meds i would've thrown myself into the sea

-

🐮 The-Cointry-of-Voigarde

(a picture of the countryside. Half of it is frozen, and the other half isn't)

Well. It was an honor, everyone. I'm glad to have contributed to the crab pow.

-

🏰 cursinguponcastles reblogged 🐧 penguin-do-be-writing

🐧 penguin-do-be-writing

hi everyone, sorry for the silence! My family has been loudly debating what to do about the freezing country, I think i touched something weird and my feet have stopped working for me, so it's hard to get to my writing desk. whoops! it's been a struggle to get words written down. Don't worry, though! I've got a chapter for everyone! This time, things get INTENSE. That internal organs being not internal warning was for a reason!

🏰 cursinguponcastles

CHANGE, THIS WAS SO GOOD!! I'm really sorry you're close to being frozen, but I could see how it affected how you wrote Dembélé struggling to get away! It felt too real, haha!!

I'll miss your fics! I, well, hopefully, will see you in a few months!!

[gemharvest]

Okay hear me out (and I will forget I sent an ask in again 2 seconds later) RGB as crystal gems

PREFACING THIS ART WITH AN "I'm sorry I didn't lean more into the SU side of things" I am being so fr I don't wanna mess with trying to figure out more gem-like outfits for them so they're basically the same except with limited palettes and also gems. I don't think it's actually gonna matter to anyone but ANSJKNKDGJ if I don't open with that my brain will Explode. /lh

GO CRAZY GO STUPID AHHHHHH. GEMS. I'm going to have to put my bullet points under a read more just cuz I know I am about to fucking Go Off. grins

Girlfriend is a red diamond. Boyfriend is a peridot. Pico is a green spinel.

GIRLFRIEND:

Went with a diamond cuz of the status thing. I am almost worried it feels like too easy of a pull but I doonnn't care I think it'd be fun if she was a diamond. :) Red obviously because it's her color.

Playing off the status thing; ofc her parents would also be diamonds and so you can have the reasoning of "oh this isn't a high-rank gem" for them not liking Boyf. I mean if you need any reasoning aside from them just being unreasonable LOL but that's always there.

Placement on her chest because !! love !!!! That's also why it's a heart-shaped cut instead of a. Diamond shape.

My backup assignment for her would be a jasper because I think it'd suit her well to be any quartz, and with jasper you can get close to her reds !! The status thing is really what made me decide on a diamond tho.

As I type this I realize there are some vaaaguee similarities to Pink I could pull as extra reasoning but shruuuugs my brain is NOT in an analytical mood rn so I'll just let others chew on that for me.

This isn't really relevant to RGB but I wanna mention it: I think it'd be funny if the demon henchmen were rubies.

BOYFRIEND:

The biggest factor for me going peridot with him is the fact that a common headcanon for canon Peridot is that she's autistic and while I mostly work with ADHD Boyf myself (since that's the experience I can pull from personally)... I am a sucker for a good autistic/AuDHD read with him.

This man is short and Era 2 peridots are short. If I drew him SU style this guy would need limb enhancers. lol

Instead of a prohibition symbol his shirt has the outline of a star. I just find that neat. :)

He would sooooooo suck at a peridot's role but also iirc in canon he's a college drop out anyways so it cancels out. He's got that Greg Universe in him.

Honestly, I put his gem placement on the back of his hand bc I had no clue where else to put it. My secondary placement for it would be on his forehead bc it'd make me giggle with him being Dumb but canon Peridot already has the forehead placement so I didn't go ahead with that.

HE STOLE PICO'S GREEN SPOT. spritzing him with water like a naughty dog BAD BOYFRIEND.

PICO:

This is my little indulgent one I really. I really love canon Spinel. This is tangential but like I literally have 4 spinel OCs and then another 4 furry OCs with designs based on canon Spinel. The urge to make One Of Them a spinel was going to be there.

The juxtaposition of him being a gem with an entertainer role and also a hard-ass hitman makes me giggle. Idk I feel like if you already know canon Spinel then you can probably connect the dots as to why I'd imagine him as a spinel as well.

Heart cut because I find it cute and it matches GF. I think a spade shape could be fun too but idk I prefer just going with a heart. Placement on his upper back because. :) Because he can't easily shield it from damage that way. He has to be constantly aware of his surroundings, unless he wants to give someone the chance for an easy hit on him if they sneak up from behind. Little paranoia thing to fuck with him. I'm so nice to Pico !! :D

Bringing back the status thing with GF's parents; I can't help but giggle thinking abt them hiring him. Imagine you get recommended this really good hitman and you meet up and it's a fucking court jester. Fucking ego hit but DD needs the job done so he hires him anyways. AND THEN PICO DOESN'T EVEN CARRY OUT THE FUCKING HIT. Never hiring a clown off of Craigslist again. /JOKING

hits play on this and sits down with my head in my hands

OKAY BEFORE I'M DONE I WANNA MENTION: I made myself give them all gem assignments BUT I do think it would be fun if one of them was not a gem a la Greg and Rose. So I give you: regular canon demon GF and her two gem boyfriends. Takes a bow. (<- honestly might do something further with that for my own fun. teehee)

[tilthedayidice]

Hey welcome back to my BG3 Hot Takes

While I have your attention, here's a cool site to help Palestine, all you gotta do is click it daily.

This session was inspired by @lipsie, gettin me ttalkin way too much. Yes I am aware that the tadpole changes things, and they have to make it balanced for the game blah blah blah- let a bitch complain.

Screenshots sourced from the Baldur's Gate 3 Wiki

Gale is the only character I feel is spec'd correctly, He's smart but fiuckin stupid, he has autism rizz, mam could not lift any box you asked him to, the only reason his constitution is 13 is because he's been dealing with the Orb and he's used to it by now.

Karlach should start with 20 strength and you CANNOT convince me otherwise, her charisma should be higher also, she's a ball of sunshine and could put the fear of god into anyone, and the line "Gods I wanna ride you til you see stars" will never leave my brain. Give this bitch a 15. She do be a little dumb I'll give you that.

Shadowheart is just funny to me, How can her wisdom be a 17 when she's been cloistered away for so long? Her wisdom is only a 17 in ONE SPECIFIC SUBJECT, a subject where she's forced to give up her memories. Memories are where we get our wisdom. Wisdom is gained through lived experiences, I'd give you the 17 for endgame Shart, but not start of game Shart. I'll take the 8 CHA cause she's a bitch (said with love, me too babe) but she knows enough to get what and where she wants so I think we should nudge it up to like 10.

Lae'zel.... I think it's unfair to put Lae'zel's intelligence at 10. Her wisdom being low, yeah i get that she's been cloistered away in a society that believes its the only way, it's all she knows. But intelligence? No. She might know much about Faeruns culture and people, but she knows EVERYTHING about the stars. And there's far more of that than there will ever be of Faerun. She's the funniest person we know, give her 9 CHA.

Wyll my beloved, do you airbrush those abs on? Do you wake up every morning and contour them? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU DO!!!!!!!!! SO WHO'S THE ASS WHO DECIDED YOUR STRENGHT WAS A FUCKIN 8??????? THE BLADE OF FRONTIERS SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST A 13. He deserve a 15 but I know they won't give it to him. Lipsie and I were talking about him and they're right, WHEN WE DUMP THE BITCH HE SHOULD RESPEC INTO BARD.

Astarion..... oh Astarion.... you're such a disaster. Such a wet cat of a man. Such a pathetic little mew mew. I shit on him a lot, but I do really love his character and development lol. LESS STR MAKE HIM WEAK, he has been starved and living off rats and shame, he can have his measly 8 AFTER he drinks... uh "Thinking" Blood. His CHA being 10 is perfect actually no notes. I personally think his actual INT should be lower, not too much lower, maybe 11/12, I knooooow he was a magistrate, but you can't tell me he's not giving himbo... no what was that word on the meme graph? Himbim? Himbim.

Halsin.......... 10 STR? 10?!?!?!?! You built him LIKE THAT and give him 10 STR?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What in the nine hells...... Weaker than Karlach of course, but 10????? Give that man 15 at least 8 INT???????????? 8???????? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HATE HIM???? Is it because he isn't Gale? Mans has been studying the mindflayers on his own, he's been studying the shadow curse... on his own. HE'S A MASTER HEALER?!?!?! AN ARCHDRUID?!?!?!?!?!?!? That takes time, study, and dedication. You wanna assign him himbo so bad. He's just a whole well rounded man with autism,. (Not a dig on himbos, quite literally my favorite genre of Man). This is just 'cause he fucks isn't it.

Minthara she's so much smarter than Larian gives her credit for. While I agree with the WIS, that's more a product of being so closed off, Her INT is much higher. I'd give her a 14? She cunning, just because it's used for Evil deeds doesn't mean she hasn't been she hasn't put a lot of thought into her work. She lived in Menzoberranzan for Gods' sake. She had to be smart or be killed?!? She's said so on multiple occasions! Just because she's Evil aligned doesn't mean she not smart. (She's just as smart as our average Bear according to Larian)

Minsc...... First off let me say that I love that they chose this image. A Bad Bitch. Anyways, anyone who doesn't find that dumb happy face charming is either lying or literally has a stick up their ass.... 12 CHA. Also why is he so weak? I know he isn't like actually weak... but mans chunked that mimic? Let him have 14.

Jaheira I'll give you the 10 STR, she's complained about her knees like three times in my most recent session. 8 INT? So what I'm getting here.... is anyone not an origin character is just baseline 8? Lazy. Especially considering she was ALREADY GIVEN STATS IN TWO PREVIOUS GAMES. In both BG1 and BG2 she has an intelligence of 10, and if anything she's only gotten smarter over time. I wasn't gonna do this... but left is 1 right is 2.

15, 14, 17, 10, 14, 15, and 15, 17, 17, 10, 14, 15

Make it make sense. I know she's old at this point, but in my game she killed Sarevok again so idk man.

Rip me apart in the notes ;)

But do it nicely...

[hyperspecific-iterator-oc-polls]

You know, I think it’s about time that I did one of these for

twenty eight stab wounds

Created by a mourning ancient as a totally normal coping mechanism

adopts the youngest member of the group as his daughter (on accident)

Current name is not his original assigned name

This character started off as a joke, but I got too attached

Super fucked up guy in the off string au

actual cannibal. Local windex muncher

joined a murder cult (on accident)

Can mimic voices of other iterators

is in roughly 75 sliverist group chats despite not being a sliverist and finding the entire movement stupid af

thank u

Everybody observe it is our funny cannibal fellow Had to chop part of poll item 9 off. sorry poll character limit got me anyway handshake emoji on 5 (hi Fox Submerged In Jewels), 4(a whole bunch of guys actually. i forgor most but two notable ones include Zero Full of Paper(who accidentally proceeded to make me generate a wholeass local group), Kaleidoscopic Catastrophe, Fucked-Up Cascade, Broken Can, Narrowing Inversion Executed Right and Molten Karma (mostly Broken Can), Inevitable Skill Issues and Examining Leaves), 3 (a LOT of people here. best example i have is Fucked-Up Cascade(Descent of Water)) and 9 (Parti lurks in many groupchats, sliverist ones included despite her not being a sliverist at all, solely to observe and sometimes for free information on random shit. NIER is also here for observation and. actually a lot of people here are in sliverist groupchats solely for the observation and or "yay free people to harass!" experience lmfao. theres way too many for me to list (blinks in 90 something iterator ocs) but just know a lot of them fit into this one)

[coolfire333]

Oh! Did you have any thoughts you'd like to share on TLHOD?

Yeah, it's been a few years since I've read it but yes I have so many thoughts!!! Major spoilers ahead (this book is very old but warning just in case)

Ok so a little bit of backstory: it was 2019 or 2020, sophomore year of college and I was around 19-20 years old (can't remember if it was spring or fall). I was in the honors program and had to take this mandatory honors class called "great works" where we attempted (key word: attempted) to read what the professor considered classic or otherwise noteworthy pieces of literature

Only problems being my professor was as dull as all get out during lectures and we also had to read an obscene amount of books in a short period of time (my adhd struggles hadn't quite hit that year yet so it was a stupid amount of books in a short timeframe even for me to read) so overall despite the interest I had for literature it was an agonizing experience to be in that class

I skimmed through most of our assigned books because it was the only way to be able to comprehend enough about the plot of things to be able to participate and follow along in lecture

However with The Left Hand of Darkness I soon found myself enraptured by the worldbuilding and premise. A scifi book from the 60s, one written by a woman, at that? Color me intrigued. I love scifi and have an interest for older books, that and the 60s are one of my favorite time periods in history so I was immediately interested in actually sitting down to read this book instead of skimming through it

By god I wasted so much time that I probably should have used for doing other homework reading every square inch of this novel. I really need to read it more carefully again if I can because I did rush a bit and it has been like 5 years since I've read it but holy mackerel what a story

The Left Hand of Darkness is so important to me for several reasons, the first being that I think it's a good story, but also and perhaps most importantly because it expanded my knowledge of gender. I wasn't the most open minded about gender and nonbinary identity when I first started reading and I genuinely feel like I came out of the other end of the story with not only an appreciation for gender diversity that I didn't have before but also a better understanding of it.

Considering I'm bigender and genderqueer now, coming to terms with this book was probably my first step in starting to unravel my own gender identity, even if I didn't know it at the time. Funny sidenote but I'm pretty sure I was also grappling with my bisexuality (thanks to also being demiaroace and not knowing it, figuring yourself out orientation-wise is a lot harder) at the time and I had a bit of a crush on Estraven (and Genly for that matter although I already knew I liked men) and a deep fascination with the "gay but not exactly gay" relationship that Genly and Estraven have but I kinda went "don't have time to unpack what that means for my own sexuality" and shelved that part of myself for later analysis lol

Anyways, onto the story. It's been a while but Genly and Estraven's weird nebulous relationship throughout the story had me in a chokehold the entire time. What if I was in heat and we were both starving and freezing to death in a tent together and forced to share body heat to stay alive (and your telepathic voice is the same as the telepathic voice of my dead brother who killed himself after we were prohibited from continuing our incestuous relationship as a life bond)....surely this doesn't mean anything about how I feel about you...haha, jk....unless.......

Like for real the two of them hate and misunderstand each other at the start of the book and by the end of it there's this weird unspoken bond they have that clearly teeters on the romantic (which is interesting for both of them since Estraven sees Genly as obscenely sexual for his male-only gender and meanwhile Genly is confused by Estraven's lack of gender)

But then Estraven literally sacrifices himself to allow Genly to live...he dies in his arms and his last thought is just telepathically shouting his dead brother's name as if professing some kind of love for Genly while also being reminiscent of an "I'm going to join my dead former partner in the afterlife" type thing. Good lird...

Literally the last passage in the book (iirc) is Genly being like "well ok this sucks so bad but mission technically accomplished, time to go back to earth I guess" and then he is confronted with Estraven and Arek's son who's just like "was my dad (referring to Estraven) a hero? Did he die nobly?" and the book just ends there with the faint implication that Genly is going to tell him all about Estraven...like oh my goddddddddd the pain is eternal

I could go on and on about the interesting way Le Guin explores gender throughout the book but one thing that stood out to me was that the king had to have birthed a son himself (versus being the father of someone else's son) for that son to be considered a true heir. Idk it just was a really interesting take on gender and heritage imo, you'd expect it to be the other way around (like the birthed son doesn't count towards the king's lineage because patriarchal commentary) so seeing the opposite imo emphasized the alienness of their society really well in contrast to our own preconceptions of human gender roles

Also I see the critique of he/him and male terms being used for Estraven throughout the story but also the book is from Genly's perspective and iirc he has a touch of Earth Sexism so using he/him for everyone regardless of their genderlessness is actually a good choice in explaining Genly's perspective I think. I will say I'm partial to the idea that Estraven and others use they/them normally and then she/her or he/him if in heat depending on if they're feminine or masculine during but idk I think using he/him for everyone throughout is fine too because it's just one of those "this doesn't translate well to human society" moments

Another interesting point of conversation that was actually brought up by my professor at the time was that Genly is a black human from future earth and yet his race and relationship with racial identity as a black human specifically is never fully explored like his gender is in relation to the inhabitants of Gethen. I have no idea what to do with this information but it certainly is interesting considering the book was written in 1969

I get that Le Guin was white and probably didn't feel like she should comment on race (and maybe she just didn't have many thoughts on it) but she also made a clear choice to make Genly, the protagonist and pov character, a black intergalactic ambassador of Earth in a book written during the civil rights era...yeah I would certainly have liked to also see how Genly's race (as a black man not as a human because his humanity is clearly detailed) factored into the plot but idk it's just something I think about sometimes

[thosearentcrimes]

Read Jane Eyre by Currer BeCharlotte Brontë. It's, uh, interesting. Worth reading, for sure? I'm happy I read it, which I can't always say about the classics. Some of them try my patience, while Jane Eyre was a quick and fun read. Whether you think it is good obviously depends on how you assign aesthetic value, though. I mean I know a lot of people are less preoccupied with politics in art, and for them, go ahead, but I think only some of the political problems are separable from the basic content of the book?

Like ok the racism is almost entirely unnecessary, though obviously predictable given the time period. It really starts ramping up towards the end of the book, too? I say almost, because it's obviously connected with the recurring phrenological theme which in turn relates to the main couple of the story not being very physically attractive. Which, to be clear, is a very nice thing for a novel to include, though perhaps less so when it is related explicitly to phrenology. Whatever.

So the thing about phrenology, and racism too, of course, is that obviously Victorians overwhelmingly understood those to be significant material, biological phenomena, right. And they're super not any of those, except insofar as they have the ability to impose themselves onto the material world, and even then not very much. So when you examine reality, including historical reality, from an enlightened point of view, you can see all of that is nonsense. However, assuming we accept the construct of a fictional world, in the fictional world of Jane Eyre, racism and phrenology are super real and material biological features of persons, rather than a pile of nonsense supported by confirmation bias. It's like if you were reading a comic or watching a TV show and it turned out everyone's personalities were actually determined by their blood ty-

ANYWAY, it's funny how gay Jane Eyre looks from a modern perspective, and I'm not just projecting I swear. Like, half the time Jane meets a woman, she becomes instantly obsessed with her, forms a codependent or dependent attachment to her, starts talking about how insanely perfect and good and beautiful she is and how much her male love interest isn't good enough for her, also one time she's given a description of a pretty lady and she starts drawing the most beautiful woman she can think of to imagine what she looks like. She develops what is barely deniably a gay crush on at least three women over the course of the book. Which is two more women than men. But it's important to recognize that this was a different, substantially more homosocial time, and that the way friendship and romance are expressed has changed significantly since the differentiation of homosexuality as its own identity. Why, even quite recently people wouldn't bat an eye over this kind of female friendship. Like, it feels like every other time my mom sees another woman, she'll start talking about how beautiful and talented and great she is and how her husband isn't good enough for her, and my mom isn-

ANYWAY, one of the real strengths of the book is simply in portraying Jane Eyre thinking and responding emotionally to stuff? It feels like such a basic thing, but it turns out a lot of writing novels is about doing the basics really well. If you make your main character emotionally and intellectually comprehensible to the audience, that'll help establish the stakes and sell the narrative. You feel like you know Jane and you can see why she makes all the stupid decisions she makes, you get a sense of why such an independent and proud woman would nonetheless be instinctively submissive the way Jane is. And the narration of an adult looking back over their childhood experiences is really well done I think. Comparing to Dickens is a bit absurd, because Dickens was quite frankly a slop merchant so you have to apply a different standard, but it is crazy how bad Dickens is at pulling that narrative voice off considering it was his whole deal.

Uh, the main couple is fucked up or whatever. She's a teenager and he could be her father, and is also literally her employer. Comes with the territory, obviously, he's a werewolf or whatever, that's the point. The part where he has his wife locked up in the attic probably a bit more of a problem, though it is hilarious how everyone is worried about the whole bigamy thing, and not about the wife being locked in an attic thing. Also he's like a massive misogynist, crazy (read: normal for Victorians) levels of hating women. I'm pretty sure the reason he gets crippled and blinded in the end is so that it's remotely plausible that he doesn't start beating Jane like six months into the marriage. Given all of this, it's a wonder that Brontë genuinely manages to sell the relationship, even with the added difficulty of me shipping Jane with half the female characters in the book. A testament to her skill and my sentimentality.

Who should read this book? I dunno, I think most of you have probably read it already or something. If you want to know the classics, the literary canon, this is one that is good to read, you'll probably have fun. Be aware that there's Surprise Racism and that the main couple is Problematique. If you want to modernize it, just pretend every time they talk about phrenology they're actually talking about astrological signs.

[edwinspaynes]

You know what would be incredibly funny? Shadowhunter Academy hazing & harassment awareness assembly.

This would happen after the break post-NBS. Clive is dead and this is what compelled them to have this assembly.

By "them," I just mean Ragnor and Ragnor only. Everyone else wants to sweep it under the rug but Ragnor is like, nah, I should put the fear of God into these kids so they stop.

It's an all-day event. They cancel classes and have a daylong assembly to accentuate how important the information is.

Ragnor kicks things off by having all the students submit a slip of paper detailing a recent experience they have had with hazing and harassment. Piers Wentworth submits "this assembly."

At least half the students submit quotes from Alastair. Ragnor reads them out loud one after the next in a deadpan voice. Thomas, who is sitting by himself in a corner, accidentally bursts into muffled giggles because he thinks they're funny. Ragnor calls him out. He is embarrassed.

They then begin the presentation part of the event. There are posters with various examples of hazing and harassment. He has these interspersed little pop quizzes but only calls on Piers and Alastair.

Piers: "This is starting to feel really targeted." Ragnor: "Starting to?"

Alastair, in his Regina George era: "I'm a victim. I shouldn't have to be here. Ragnor:

They pair off for worksheets. Alastair and Piers try to go together. Ragnor thinks this will be counterintuitive and separates them. He assigns Alastair to Thomas because Thomas has no partner.

"Okay half-pint, just do the first half of the worksheet. I'll take the second and we'll copy each other's answers. Don't be stupid and mess it up. Don't talk to me."

They sit next to each other and do the worksheet silently. It should be awkward but the silence is companionable and comfortable. Neither of them know what to do with that so they compartmentalize it.

At the end of the day, Ragnor pulls Thomas aside. He hands a bunch of worksheets and leaflets to Thomas and tells them to mail them to Matthew since he blew up part of the school. Thomas says that he probably won't see Matthew until the term ends. Ragnor shakes his head adamantly and is like "WELL, MAIL THEM THEN."

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Have been hearing from several professional and unprofessional critics alike that 65 was a disappointment, can you give a more thorough explanation as to how the script is lacking? Most importantly what about Driver's acting,did the poorly written script managed to affect his performance in a degradable way?

The actors did great with what they were given, the main problem was that they were barely given anything. It felt like a first draft because the characters have almost no personality, the relationships and themes are undeveloped, and it doesn't do anything with any of the ideas it introduces.

Like, first the set-up is super paint by numbers, serviceable but ponderous and overdone. Then the sentimentality they're trying to bring to it to give Mills pathos is just incredibly hacky. He's a pilot going on a two year assignment to pay for his seriously ill daughter's medical treatment, analogous to a technical diver or someone in the military. The daughter has Occasional Cough disease and is classically precocious while being played by an actress too old for how young they're writing her.

Anyway, they keep hammering on Mills having pictures and videos of her and constantly play them. These videos are entirely free of content and tell us nothing about either character. It's like placeholder dialogue. This is very tedious. I get it, he has a daughter.

But the main thrust of the film is the crash, the desperateness of the situation, and the renewed quest to escape once he realises there is another survivor. Mills the character has to carry almost the entire movie essentially alone, because Koa the other survivor does not speak a language he (or we the audience) can understand. And I think Adam could easily do that, he's a very engaging screen presence even in this, but they give him zero tools. Mills sends one message and then does not make further attempts or audio diary entries or anything like that. He doesn't talk to himself. He doesn't talk to Koa much and when he does talk to her the writers haven't thought at all about how people who don't share a language can communicate.

There's one scene where he draws for her, but it's horribly executed and for the rest of the film he just shouts slowly at her and when the plot needs her to understand, she magically does. There's just barely any effort made to establish a connection between them, we're supposed to care because she's a little girl and remember he has a daughter. It's especially stupid because one of the few things the movie bothers to tell us about Mills is that he's heroic. He considers suicide when he thinks he is the only survivor in a hopeless situation, he doesn't want to endanger anyone by calling for rescue and clearly has guilt issues, but he becomes determined to save that person the moment he discovers someone else is alive. It's clear he would have done this for anyone, it's not because Koa is a young girl.

If he'd had a monologue where he recorded his experiences for anyone who might recover the ship, or messages to his wife, or if he just thought aloud, or if he'd really tried to communicate with Koa, we could have seen some personality from him and the whole movie would have worked imo. Adam is more than charismatic enough to carry that off. But with the boring dialogue, no personality, and cloying hack sentiment the only thing going on... it's just empty when they try to make us care. You can see all the strings. Every device they use is so obvious and so unthoughtful.

There were one or two really funny/cute moments, but it's sold entirely by the actors with no dialogue.

There's also some bad blocking and confusing scene construction that undermines the performances, but it's not super embarrassing or anything, it's just not good. There's no support for the heady emotional moments or some of the intense physical moments, the actors are just adrift trying to sell it without context. So the script didn't really degrade Adam's acting apart from not giving him anything to work with, but the director does let him down. It's not an impressive showing for anyone.

But like, what is the point? We find out his daughter died while he was away despite the treatment. Was that necessary? He needs a dead daughter to bond with this orphaned girl on a hostile planet? He doesn't have an arc about learning to value life or wanting to live again, he is willing to give up out of guilt and despair and then instantly changes his mind when someone else's life is at stake. He's a selfless person, he already was, the only reason he's on this mission in the first place is because he's willing to do anything to save someone. Nothing happens on a character level. I'm not asking for much, it's a very simple story and that's fine, just something to invest in. It also has nothing to say about emotional connection without words or communication or language- why make them unable to communicate if you're not going to do anything with it?

He lies to Koa that her family is waiting for her at the escape pod to get her to come with him and that's supposed to be our stakes (the only stakes the film has besides 'will they die'), but it's just goofy because it's so haphazard and it's so unclear what she even thinks is happening. She's even more of a blank slate than Mills so I felt no tension about the lie or their relationship. When she finds out, it's deeply blah.

It just feels like there's no thought behind it and there's not enough effort put into it to make it as mindlessly entertaining as it should be either. Even a dumb action thriller needs character. There are good sequences, but way too many parts of it seriously drag because of how underwritten it is. I'm also really annoyed about a) the replacement goldfish plot of them killing his daughter so he can bond with Koa as though a man can't just care about a child in danger because he's a decent person and b) his wife is in the opening scene doing exposition and then she is literally never mentioned again. He has no pictures or videos of her. Getting back to her is not part of his motivation. We will endlessly harp on his dead daughter but the wife is chopped liver. Fuck you, movie.

But yeah the scene with the flower may be bog standard but it worked. Adorable, funny, A+ no notes. Again, credit to the actors because this is a super paint by numbers moment but they sold it. If they had leaned into the comedy a tish more, this would be a blockbuster. Every moment of deadpan with Mills, usually completely non-verbal, is stellar. He is funny and letting him be more funny would have saved this. Let him John McClane it up. They already have him getting progressively more injured as the film goes on, if they'd just let him talk to himself and be sarcastic this thing would have worked.

[saintadeline]

thoughts on how adeline adjusts to her varying levels of disability throughout her time at the research hall? (mobility aids, etc)

This is kind of a funny question because on one hand i want to have a real answer. On the other hand the research hall has such a videogamey layout it is composed entirely of very steep rotating stairs with no railings or barely functioning elevators. Do you guys think the nightmare twisted it to make it stupider or did someone have to be assigned to be in the rafters all day to rotate the stairs every hour or so because otherwise half the floors are impossible to access. Imagine getting enlisted by the healing church research team just to do that for a living. I quite love it. ANYWAY my personal hc is that she was already chronically ill and bloodsainthood did not help that in the slightest (support group for girls who faint when they try to walk more than 10 minutes) and especially not the research hall experiments which would leave her even weaker. Im no expert on the victorian era and its not something you see talked about regarding that era but i think i can safely assume that period of time was not. Particularly great for physically (and generally tbqh) disabled people LOL and yharnam would be no exception Especially when the city is so cartoonishly twisted and fucked up. The amount of stairs and irregular paving you see in central yharnam alone (not to even mention old yharnam) is a lot. I got lost again sorry but anyway i see her as using a cane for a while, i feel shes the sort to try and pretend shes fine and push herself to her limit way too often so she would only ever really start doing it when it got bad after becoming a blood saint. I could definitely see her using crutches in the early research hall era after she started experiments and would end up using wheelchairs more than just occasionally as her state deteriorated as a mix of whatever the fuck they were doing, severe anemia from that + her role as blood saint + everything making her chronic illnesses worse when she was already prone to them. She most likely wasnt able to really move too much by herself by the time the experiments advanced enough to warrant The Bag. Also shes on the ground floor which would seem surprising given most of the rest of the rh is up a few floors however thats also where the balcony is and i always saw it as her asking to be brought there so theres a chance maria mightve negociated that spot for her for ease of access

[jadenightthewriter]

In their defence they may be stupid but marcellus is a) traumatised and b) a child. Idk what marcias excuse is tho 😔 in the esmerelda version she is also so so traumatised and has barely had time to recover from althers death before ending up with a baby for a second time except this time she can't dump it on someone else 😔😔😔 (the bit where she goes to the heaps in that version is So funny,, she shows up like um. Haha hi uhhh help. And she has a teenage boy with her and also a baby (identical to baby #1 silas got handed) and silas is like marcia wtf. Marcia why is there a baby who looks exactly the same as the one u gave me before. Marcia where r these babies coming from)

Honestly I think real au esmerelda probably had it better than canon esmerelda?? Like in canon everyone had caught on that etheldredda was killing her kids and tried to protect her, in this au etheldredda isn't even killing just the princesses she also killed her son who wasn't a threat at all and everyone is so on guard abt it. Esmerelda is never ever left alone w etheldredda not even once and all the palace staff r so careful abt it

YEAH <3333 septimus and marcellus get along So well here,,, septimus is having some kind of panic attack at one point and marcellus is like look i get it- and seps like LITERALLY NO U DON'T. And marcellus goes haha. Lmao. And then there r explanations (once sep is not actively crying on the floor) and septimus latches onto marcellus as his new favourite person (equal to marcia) and also septimus gets twice the amount of hugs and its all very sweet and nice <3 also I'm assigning marcias rooms another bedroom so marcellus can also stay there 😌 they may already have one?? I think it's mentioned in thm somewhere??? But. I'm putting it properly in the story this time <3 marcellus is staying in the tower while all his alchemy stuff is under construction and marcia HATES it bc he can spot when she's not sleeping and literally pick her up and put her into the bed and it's the WORST and sometimes he makes food and then she has to actually stop what she's doing to eat it and it's awful 😔😔 (<-she's doing better physically and mentally than canon marcia tho so). He's also very much a shoulder to cry on abt dn1 related stuff so literally this marcia is like canon marcia but 100% less. Lonely and sad.

Anyway I got off track,, yeah septimus and marcellus bond over being two guys with the same variety of trauma and both marcia and marcellus r able to help him more in this au than in canon bc they have. Experience. Does it help septimus that much?? Short term kind of long term definitely. Marcellus to septimus is like a kind of cool uncle/sort of dad figure,, they hang out when neither of them have smth else to be doing (sometimes when they do) and marcellus teaches him abt alchemy and marcias like wow marcellus :/ I can't believe you'd steal my apprentice :// that's so rude and mean 😔😔 and he's like lmao <3 and keeps teaching septimus stuff. Also marcellus does eventually tell more ppl abt his Actual backstory and jennas like WAIT WE'RE RELATED????? and decides he's cool actually now that she can bully sep abt how that's her great uncle 🥺 how could he steal him from her like this 🥺🥺🥺

This ask is so long abdhdbdjd rip and uhh. Well i have Plans for a fic but I think we all know what happens when I have a plan for a fic (<-it never ever gets written) so PLEASE write smth if u want to i will love it forever and ever and ever <3333

Consider: I would call them stupid even without the trauma, hence they have exactly 0 excuses sorry babies I love you but no

I bet Silas thinks Marcia did something stupid and kidnapped them all which is,,, aha not exactly wrong?? But it's not like she's going to admit that. (side note i feel like marcellus and silas probably get along shockingly well and marcia is Upset about this she's been betrayed how could you marcellus)

hmm.... that's a good point about esmerelda. I think mentally it might be harder for her though, because there might be lots of people who love her but i feel like there wouldn't be many who would try to get super close, because she's still royalty. i think septimus should accidentally trip and fall through one of marcellus's silly experiments and meet esmerelda and maybe be her friend for a bit.

ngl marcia sounds like a cat here i love this. do you think sep and marcellus (help i need to shorten his name i can't keep typing it T^T) scheme to like,, trick her into doing things they want. i bet they do like pspsps marcia look here. (i bet marcia and marcellus fight over how much alchemy and magyk stuff they're allowed to leave lying around. their rooms look pretty much exactly the same because they both hoard so many things except marcia's has like 2% more purple. relatedly i bet their horrible sense of fashion has infected the other.)

marcia and marcellus working together is probably the best possible thing to happen for sep it's like,,, someone understands almost all of what happened to him, there's always someone to talk to, there's someone to be responsible and someone to be irresponsible, he gets all the good things he deserves <3333

i think the jenna sep marcellus dynamic would be so funny idk how much an age difference they have (depending on AU version i would guess 10-15?) but they probably have the same sort of influence from marcia and all love to make fun of each other. they probably wear purple a lot and don't notice until silas points it out lmao and then make a point to see who can wear the most outlandish purple thing until marcia yells at them.

bestie same 😭😭 i can't promise anything (fuck you, school) but i have so many ideas i'm serious when i tell you this au is one of the best things i've learned of in months

[ofholyfire]

ft. Gabriel for @elysiumxii 

“All I’m saying is, he can stuff my stockings anytime.”

“Oh my god, Vanessa, PLEASE. This is a Christmas event. For kids.”

“I mean… she’s just saying what we’re all thinking, Thalia. He is pretty sexy dad material. Look at how much the kids like him,” Chantel gestures with a nod to Gabriel on the other side of the community center. “Hell, if I wasn’t already happily married with kids, I’d be over there sitting on his lap and telling him what I want for Christmas.”

“See! Channie gets it. Don’t act like you wouldn’t want a piece of him, too,” Vanessa laughs with a flip of her dark hair. “One way or another, I’m giving him my phone number before he leaves. Bet!”

Thalia rubs at her temples and sighs, shaking her head in defeat. “Yeah, but. Not so loud, okay? This is not the place. … … … He– ..he looks good with his hands, I guess. He could fix stuff around the house with my boys.” 

The other two women cackle and continue to chit-chat as they fawn over Gabriel from their corner of the room. 

Meanwhile, Gabriel feels that he is being watched, but not for only the reasons he’d like. He’s still not totally confident that he can handle his assignment as well as Michael could because kids, though cute, are not adults. They are weird and wired, sometimes noisy and often cry for no reason at all. That image… is based solely on infants and he knows he should adjust. These children are older and able to somewhat communicate clearly. He still lacks much experience with them though. Despite that, after an hour into sitting and reading Christmas books, he feels a bit better about it all. Michael’s silly crashing of Story Corner actually helped in a way and the children were enjoying themselves. 

He’d just finished Merry Christmas, Mouse and the little ones scurried away for a snack. It was his breaktime, too. Standing up to stretch his back and limbs (with the mom fan club eating up every second of it), he contemplates a bit of coffee or peppermint tea for the novelty. Before he can step away from his chair, however, he feels a little tug at his pant leg and spins around in response. 

A little girl, no more than four or five, cranes her neck to look up at him with lovely hazel eyes. A part of him bristles in alarm; she is unaccompanied and there are no other children at the rug. He fears looking like a creep by picking her up to save her from falling backward as she stares up expectantly at him, but his options are limited. After a quick look around to see if a parent is on their way, he takes a breath and sits again so that he doesn’t tower over her.

“Hello,” he smiles gently. “I’m Gabriel. What’s your name?”

“I’m Annalise. You’re so tall!” she says with a grin, happily rocking back and forth on her heels.

Gabriel chuckles and offers a little nod. “I am because I ate my vegetables. Annalise is a pretty name. Where’s your mom, Annalise? Did you get lost?”

“Yeaaaaah,” she says, all smiles as she is now focused on ruffling and primping the white fur around the rim of Gabriel’s Santa hat. He bows a bit to make it easier to reach.

“Ah, I see. Well, don’t worry. We’ll find her.” A quick glance to his watch reminds him that he doesn’t have long before the next round of Story Corner. Searching on his own would take much too long. An executive decision has to be made and he makes one. “Uh…Do you want to read a story with me until mama comes? It’s a funny one,” he offers, though he has no idea if the next book is funny or not. 

“Mmhm!” Annalise nods and immediately starts to climb into Gabriel’s lap. 

He panics because this is the first time he’s had to hold a little person. This is not his child, as far as he knows. He’d just draw more attention and garner strange looks if he doesn’t go with the flow. Certainly if his stupid brother could deal with children, so could he.

Clearing his throat, he collects the little girl onto his lap and lets her settle on his knee. She leans comfortably into the crook of his arm and playfully kicks her feet as they both get comfortable. He’s committed now. Reaching over the side of his chair, he produces another book, Santa’s Stuck, and cracks it open. This copy is brand new, not a single crease in the spine. Lowering it so that they both could look down at the pages and silly artwork, he begins to read. 

This reading is his greatest work. They are the only two present, so he doesn’t hold back. Exaggeration and drama are expressed at each rhyming word, he makes sound effects and ad libs where he can, he asks her little questions about how many cats she sees and how much she thinks Santa weighs. Before he realizes it, he’s chuckling along with her and idly rocking back and forth because he’s comfortable with the experience. 

As he’s distracted with a particularly interesting page, he hears the telltale shutter sound of a camera nearby. Michael has slithered past and taken a picture because of course he would. The older brother doesn’t stick around to see the look Gabriel gives him; he’s too busy assigning this photo to Gabriel’s contact number in his phone. 

Gabriel himself makes a mental note to delete it as soon as he is able to get his hands on it, and maybe toss that phone into a river.

[coffee---bean]

a summary for class

so we have a check-in assignment, where we write around 300 words about our work and share our ideas with the class. i really struggle communicating my idea cos its really wacky and draws from a lot of ideas and pulls them together in a weird way.

but here goes!

i think the title of the work is gonna be "shout out to big jesus". i like the feeling it gives of "big trouble in little china" or something. i like saying "shout out" to stuff that i'm kind of ambivalent to just cos its a sort of stupid and fun thing to say when u don't have anything to say. i think that fits the work, i really don't have a really really strong feeling one way or the other about big jesus, i just wanna point them out. and the idea of "big jesus" is just the various jesuses we have and think about, everyone with a personalized one. idk i think of it like "big tech" or something, like there's some nefarious company producing our jesuses for us at premium prices, and also the nefarious vibes fit the idea of the work being a mind-control device. plus i just feel like the kind of person who says "shout out to..." would also call jesus "big man" or "big guy" or something, which i find really funny. i mean that's basically the exact point of the work, turning jesus into a regular ass weirdo.

anyway that's not the 300 words but it's called

SHOUT OUT TO BIG JESUS

"shout out to big jesus" is made out of plungers and pvc piping and it's a giant contraption kind of similar to a fishing rod which i'm gonna use to convert people to christianity.

i will catch someone in my trap and begin playing them a film with stereo audio, voices and music panned left and right, and a screen showing two images. on the right, quotes from big jesus will flash in muted colours and black-and-white, and on the left, images and videos will flash in brighter stranger forms. when the process is over, the box will be reeled back up.

the work is inspired by lots of things! it's inspired by the outsider art of royal robertson, the editing and animation style of the final episode of neon genesis evangelion, memes, the theory of the bicameral mind, the matrix and h.r. giger's design work, the band "everything everything" and their album "re-animator", the youtubers femboy fishing and contrapoints, my experiences with scientology, my conversations with religious people trying to convert me, the video game series metal gear solid (especially the 2nd and 5th game) and this video:

this work is meant to be an awkward ram-shackle embarrasing experience, at least for me, the person who's doing the fishing, and probably for the person being fished, unless they're really into this sort of thing. it's a work of art that can only be experienced on your own, even i won't really be able to see or tell what you might be thinking or feeling. you won't be able to see the outside world very easily while you're being fished. it's gonna be a weird feeling, i definitely don't wanna encourage anyone to take part if they wouldn't feel comfortable being in that position.

the core of the work is the audio/video presentation inside the box, but the context of the sculpture is vital for the psychological effect i want to create. i want people to wonder what they're gonna see in the box for a while, to build anticipation seeing someone else sitting there experiencing it while they aren't and can't. i want people to not be able to really explain it easily once they have seen it because it's really weird and not closely aligned with anything easily recognisable.

umm i've gone over 300 words, so that's it! there you go.

[smashboxgirl26]

i will keep falling

bakugou x gn! reader / college au a/n: happy birthday to me ig >:))

It’s funny to think of the way you squeezed your way into Bakugou’s life without much effort. 

Sure, it started off through a randomly assigned group project — but he’d rather not think of it that way. Maybe it was all the romance novels he’d jumped back into after he’d met you, but he liked to think that it was planned —

That you would both be paired up, and that the two of you would end up going to Kirishima’s stupid Halloween party together after only two weeks of friendship just to become inseparable ever since.

It was strange to think that a person he’d never even talked to until a couple of weeks ago was now the first person on his mind everyday, the person who appeared most on his notification bar (in both calls and texts), the person he wanted to tell everything to (though he believed he’d already told you almost everything there ever was to know about him) — and he knew that it was vice versa.

It was — strange, to say the least, to feel that open with someone while whole–heartedly knowing they felt the same way as you did. The wall he’d so meticulously built had fallen with just the tap of your finger — and he hadn’t tried to stop you.

The weekends you would end up crashing at his apartment after a party, stumbling through his hallway while drunkenly laughing at everything he did to try and keep you quiet; the quiet moments spent in the library that were supposed to be for studying though they always devolved into you doodling in his notebook; sleeping on top of him during movie nights, your head on his chest, his fingers running through your hair — every moment spent with you made him feel awake, as if every experience with you was something new.

“It’s so weird that we wouldn’t have been friends if it wasn’t for that group project,” you’d said to him a couple of days ago — the both of you sat under the tree in the quad to soak up the last good weather before winter hit.”

“That’s true,” he’d murmured back, though he rolled his eyes because he was doing his math homework while you just scrolled on your phone. “But I still think we would’ve ended up meeting somewhere.”

“How?”

“I dunno,” he looked up, pen now resting against his textbook. “We would’ve met at Kirishima’s party anyway, right? ‘Cause your friend was dragging you there before you even knew I was going.”

“That’s true,” you hummed — staring off while the sun melted in your irises. “Or at the Journal meeting, since they assigned us to work on that article together.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe we were just destined to be friends,” you turned to him with stupidly sweet smile, one that he couldn’t stop his heart from pounding at. “Seems as though we were gonna meet at some point, right?”

And maybe it was just the little asshole that still resided within him, but he couldn’t but respond with — “Don’t get all cheesy on me just ‘cause we watched When Harry Met Sally yesterday.”

But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed true. Though their situation was different, it was also kind of the same — two people who seemed destined to be together, even if it took them through the more scenic path to get there. The only benefit was that the both of you didn’t have to lose touch with each other over the span of several years to get to this point — it was almost instant.

And now, even through the noise of the cheering crowd around the rink, Katsuki could only find himself staring at you in the stands as you waved at him, encouraging him to play his best with his large letterman sitting atop your shoulders. 

The effect you still had on him — the one you had on each other — was huge.

And while sometimes he would love nothing more than to stand on the ice and just think about every aspect that you've both shared with each other, as your boyfriend, he couldn’t exactly let you down — not when you advertised so proudly who you were rooting for. 

He’d win this game for you and kiss you as hard as possible as soon as he could make it up to the bleachers.

[luimagines]

In lieu of what happened yesterday with Wolfie... may I raise you with Bunny Legend?

He despises the form. Why, of all the things he could have been, had to be a bunny? A tiger or even a dog would have been better than that a fluffy, weak... pink mammal! It's not fair that Twilight get a cool one instead of him, which is completely stupid since he is one of the oldest, and far more seasoned in salt of the group. On top of that, how dare he stealing your attention like that!? How is he supposed to make a move if Twilight is always hanging around you as Wolfie? He wants you to be the only one to hear how he feels about you...

...And, maybe, is also because he is terrified of you turning him down, the ache in his heart would be worse than a stab with Twilight watching him get rejected...

But this is why he have been named as the "Veteran" and not something else; he has dealt with a lot of situation before with far less objects at his reach to help him, but he always manages to get through it. He's very cunning and is quick to think on his feet...

...Or at least, almost all of the time he is. Erring is most common when you aren't at your most calm, isn't it?

Legend admits that he acted out of desperation: you had him at his wits end! But it's hard to feel frustrated with himself when you are nuzzling your face on top of his head, little squeaks of happiness and a high pitch voice while you baby talked to him, gussing about his very soft fur and really cute vest. You even called him handsome! You never do that when he is in his human form, you don't even spare him a glance when he rolls his sleeves, making a big of a show of flexing his arms, stretching out and pushing out his chest and arms back, all so you can see how muscular he, too, is. But the only thing you do is oogle at Twilight-- as if he isn't enough of a menace to him-- and that idiot of Mr. Captain when they wrestle together, shirtless. He just wants your pretty eyes on him, those plump lips, cherry from how you are bitting them, shamelessly devouring the two men with your gaze...

...Ugh, just pay attention to him, okay!? He will shower you with all the love and adoration you deserve and more! So please, direct that intensity to him, and only him.

A poke to his furrowed brows broke him out of his mind. Legend cautiously looks up at you. He mentally kicks himself as he is met with your worried eyes, the last thing he wanted was for you to feel any type of negative emotions, so that glint spurred him on rubbing his furred cheek on your free open palm, wanting to change the expression out of your face. It seem to work, you opened your eyes more and even giggled a little before scratching under his chin with two of your fingers.

"Got lost for a second there, buddy?" You whisper. Even if your tone was soft, the vibrations travelled from your chest pressed against the back of his small form engulfing it in a warm and pleasant feeling.

Legend closed his eyes and let all of his weight rest on you, not that you minded, of course. Being the sunshine that you are, you giggled cutely once more and tugged him closer to you, to the point of almost being curled around him. It was a rare sensation; he felt protected for once instead of being the one providing said feeling, he must admit that it was quite comforting, but Legend will forego ever feeling like this again in exchange of you being safe forever, you will always be his priority.

"Hmm..." you pecked his head. "Y'know, you remind me of someone that I like a lot"

His long ears fell flat on either side of his head as his heart stilled.

Like a lot...?

You... already have someone that you hold dear?

You seem to miss how his body grow stiff between your arms as you continued in drowning him in affection. What used to be a delightfull experience, now, it hurts him more than any wound he have ever sustained in his life, more than any burn from fire lizards or the cold, prickly bite of exhaustion of his tired body as he dragged himself through every and more corners of Hyrule.

Your hands played with the small tuff of fur on his head, but Legend's mind was far too gone to properly feel the touch. In its place, his heart dropped and shattered, somehow still beating as he felt the fastening Thumping in his stomach. How foolish and naive of him, to ever believe that he got an opportunity with you. Even the people that you two are travelling with can barely stand him, and they are supposed to be the same person.

Is he really that despicable?

"It's actually funny."

Funny how stupid he is, isn't he?

"He came back a few nights ago, very upset."

Well, that guy clearly doesn't now a thing about suffering. He isn't the one getting his heart demolish while in the arms of the love of his life like him.

You pinched the tip of his left ear and softly lifted it up. "He came back with his hair the same shade of pink that you have! In my opinion" you lean down a Little, as if you were about to share a secret "He looks very cute like that. A shame He will never let me say that to his face..."

Pink? Like the rose tinted glasses he have been wearing all this time-- Uh? Hair?

Are you... Please, don't give him hope like that. He can't take another loss in his life, because if you don't mean it, he would be devastated for good.

He felt your body shifting a little before you let go of him to instead hook your hands under his armpits, slowly lifting him up then turning around his body so now the two of you can be face to face. His tiny nose twitched as you leaned in a poked the tip of your own nose to his pink one, rubbing a little before you leaned back again. Legend layed his pawns on top of your chest, eagerly following your movements when he saw you opening your mouth to continue, he didn't want to miss anything that you are about to say:

"He is a big dork, with an even bigger ego. Very handsome too and... Ugh, Legend, why you have to be such a cactus all the time?" You finished with a tinge of frustration in your voice.

In a normal scenario, he would have argued about that last statement, but he couldn't because of two good reasons: one, he is still in his dark world form, it would be very weird if this bunny you found in the Forrest acted as if it was personally insulted by your words. And second...

You actually like him.

Him, With all of his flaws and bad attitude, you still found and assigned a space in your heart for only him, Legend.

Just as how down he got, his spirit raised up again with vigor, his heart soared from the dark pit of grief that held it a couple of minutes ago taking its rightful place at the peak of the shrine dedicated to your whole being. He didn't even noticed that his skin was ice cold until a burst of heat shot from his feet to the tip of his ears that acted as a catalyst as he threw himself towards your chest, his body felt light as a feathe, he tried his best to fight off the desire to laugh or shout out this waves of overwhelming energies.

Oh, how your chuckles were like the tunes from the most rich instrument in the entire universe being played by the goddesses themselves, more revitalizing than any potion or fairy pond.

"Do you think I should say something, buddy?" You returned his hug.

Legend furiously nodded his head, not think if it will appear weird that he could understand you. You squeezed the tiny bunny between your arms before putting him at arms length:

"Thank you, buddy. Somehow, now I have the confidence to talk to that prickly bitch--"

"--A PRICKLY WHAT???"

...Uh oh.

Even the common noises of the Forrest fell silent at his outburst.

Legend didn't had a second to try and amend his mistake as, suddenly, his vision was thrown into a spiral; everything looked blurry and the wind on his fur was a clear indicator of how hard you launched him away from you. He felt slightly proud at you quick reaction time but...

...No amount of fur can soften the crash on the hard forrest floor, just his luck that he didn't fell on the conveniently batch of dry leaves right beside him. It hurt, not as how bad his heart was hurting, but painful nonetheless.

He just really hopes you won't tell the group about the weird, pink bunny that can talk, or else he won't ever heard the end of it from Sky and Twilight.

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AND IT'S DONE CKSKFJEJCUC IT TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME JUST TO SAY "Legend tried to pull a Twilight and got yeeted out of existence"

I think that Legend has self esteem problems! With what happened in A Link to the past, it's hard to overcome a whole nation hating your guts when you only wanted to help.

You really just said "If no one will provide me with Legend simpage, I'll do it myself"

I'm grinning so much right now. I ended up biting my lip a bit harder than I intended to because I almost screamed at the end when he finally spoke up.

The whole time I was like "But Legend can speak? Why is that not- Oh that's why."

Also, describing how Legend tries to peacock as he stretches to catch the Reader's attention *chef's kiss*.

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )