#I just really loved everyones headspaces throughout this book

[starrysyndulla]

I just finished the Rogue One novelization and excuse me what the fuck

[outisgivingpac]

Pick-a-card: What kind of lover you are attracting?

Hello everyone, I'm back (kind of?) to deliver my first love reading ever! 👀🔥 This PAC will look into what kind of romantic (but also platonic) relationship you are inviting to your life with your current energy. Basically, we will see what personality traits you like about each other and what makes your relationship work. Be mindful that your energy changes over time, and with this collective reading, only take what resonates 🍀✨

If you want to book a personal reading with me, check out my pinned post. There you will also find the masterlist of all my free PAC! Enjoy~ 🌞

��Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐱

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 4 of Swords

First of all, the kind of lover you're attracting are drawn to you by your sharp wits, as well as your fierce and independent nature. Where others find your rough exterior difficult to deal with, this person finds charm and wisdom. They like how argumentive and opinionated you are, like you won't be afraid to speak up for the underdogs and can be real protective around your loved ones. In turn, you might like this person for their generous and forgiving nature. Though their ways of living might trigger your protective instinct at first, like how could someone be so comfortable laying their heart bare? What if someone take advantages of them?? (Lol) But soon enough, you will learn their kindness didn't come from naivety, but their rich life experiences; they are someone emotionally mature and capable to give and receive love from a healthy headspace. As someone who had to navigate through life with careful calculation and always on alert, you will grow to trust this person to mean what they say and be genuine with you throughout your relationship. Fundamentally, you both see each other as a sanctuary. You know the other got your back in the end of the day, and got to "recharge" just by spending time together. Platonic or romantic, this seems to be a wholesome connection that helps you stay grounded during turbulent time.

Pile 2: 4 of Cups reversed, Page of Swords, The Moon reversed

The first thing came up when I read your cards is how it feels like you guys meet/interact with each other in a highly specific environment. Meaning, you don't neccessarily have access to each other's personal life or have constant communication, but just expect to see each other at particular time and space. You could easily be classmate or colleagues, or are sharing a mutual friend. I hear some of you would refer to each other to a third person with a really specific nickname, for example "that guy who takes double expresso" or sth like that. You like this person because they're a social-butterfly with a lotta energy. They often poke fun with you and are fairly successful. On their side, they find you interesting, despite the first impression of you being quite standoffish. You managed to take them aback several times with some witty/funny remarks. They think you have a lot to offer, long as others put effort to help break the ice. This relationship seems to be of a casual and light-hearted nature. It sounds strange but, it just works when neither parties know where they are going, nor do they try too hard to stir the boat somewhere specific. It's the kind loose committal relationship that deepen slowly overtime, like the sediment at the bottom of a river.

Pile 3: 2 of Swords, Strength, Temperance reversed

The person you're attracting seems to be someone you would usually consider as "out of your league". Unlike you who always strike for a harmony in a group, this person has a strong and upfront personality, though I won't describe them as unkind or selfish. Quite the opposite, they are incredibly wise and have a big heart of an advocate. In your eyes, they have accomplished a lot of admirable goals with their talent second to their tenacity and hard work. Comparing to them, you might find yourself too indecisive and easily flustered to step out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, they see you as someone with many contradictions and complex inner world. In conversation with you, they can tell how you have many different interests and potentials, yet more often than not surrender your choices to the circumstances or other people. On the surface, it seems like a "I can fix them" kind of attraction, but at the same time I don't sense a strong desire to force themselves in your life from this person. In other words, they are not someone who would force others to change in order to match them. But they will wait and see if you will break out of the comfort zone, or from the harmony of "how things should be", with your own conviction. If anything, they want to be one of your conscious choice, not an convenient option due to the circumstances.

[christiansorrell]

TTRPG Read-Through: Patchwork World

Here is a read-through I did last year (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the most unique PbtA games I've ever read: Patchwork World by Aaron King! - Christian

Credits up first. I know a lot of these folks and they are really cool! Excited to dig into this. I've heard good things, and it's been a while since I've read or played any Powered by the Apocalypse.

This is a cool, strong set up for me. I really like settings that ask characters to face a changing world and either take up change themselves or work to restore the old way of things. It's a headspace I find myself in a lot IRL these days so it's fun to explore.

I'm interested to see how the no stats, no playbooks angle of this game works, considering playbooks are typically such a staple of PbtA games.

Standard three-tired success, mixed success, fail forward resolution for rolls here and questions on the moves determine your bonus to the roll. Easy peasy. +2 is the max bonus.

Other types of rolls are described here. Interested to see how they come into play. I also love clocks and use them in pretty much every game I run so it's nice to see those laid out here too.

We just love a lil guy, don't we folks?

A good chunk of the opening here is spent on laying out a lot of solid foundations of roleplaying generally. It feels like a book (so far) that would work for entirely new players. It doesn't feel essential for me, but I never mind a game that supports varied experience levels.

Character creation is wide open, especially since there aren't playbooks and the text stresses that character creation is very much worldbuilding because of this. Fate-like concepts and tags are in here too which are things I generally enjoy. I like the Drawback mechanic.

Moves are in the playback I set in the other room so I'm gonna go grab those. You get two chosen moves and everyone has access to a number of default moves. You've got three other life/XP things to keep track of too. I'm especially interested in Hex.

There are a lot of moves! They seem quite varied and often very weird, fitting well with the titular patchwork world. You can have a duck's slick soul to dodge more easily or a magical space suit or speak to birds or be good at cartography. Overwhelming, but in an exciting way.

You also choose a community as a party. While PCs all have their original homelands (before the end of the old worlds), you know have a community that gets its own little sheet. This is a cool reshaping of the Gangs from Blades. I also like how the community can change over time.

Coming back to a PbtA game after months of more OSR-minded stuff, I think a lot of what these games contain are things that experienced players would say you could just do in any game at any time that it makes sense in the story, but I do find value in stating what's possible.

Esp since many players come to games with artificial limits on their options (whether that's from video games, more traditional RPGs, etc.). I just think good GMing here requires making sure that the players don't limit themselves just to the bevy of explicit options either.

GM moves (mostly to guide the response to failed rolls). I really think the community aspect of this set up is one of the biggest appeals to me so far. That and the wild list of moves, which I'm sure makes for amazing parties of characters.

I always feel like it's never something I should be in my own writing (for some probably unnecessary reason), but I enjoy the first-person, casual writing style throughout the book. Makes for a very chill read.

Good to see this game employs the Branson Reese style of NPC naming.

Stress acts as a single catch-all health and challenge rating for NPCs. Ideally, I'd hope this would help lead to the PCs approaching encounters with more than just violence.

Sections like this are what I'm referring to when I say this book feels very friendly to new players. It's got little anecdotes and thoughts like this throughout.

Look, it's been a while since I've seen A Christmas Story but... it didn't have ghosts in it right?

There's a sample adventure in the back (which I'll skip for this read-through) plus loads of random tables. Some wonderfully bizarre stuff in the characters and faction tables. Really gives you a good idea for how gonzo you can go with the setting.

Love these two in particular

Optional rules include hard mode (which I just think is kind of funny to see in PbtA, but could be cool if you lean heavy into the post-apoc setting) and some optional moves. I like that some moves focus on romance, something I enjoy IRL but never think to focus on in games.

I was wondering why this was the sixth edition!

That's all for the book itself. Going back to the packet to dig into the things I missed. Some expected bits in here but always one or two unique options I really enjoy. Leaking hex is cool (and could have some troubling cascade effects in certain situations).

I definitely wish, at least in sitting down to read like this, that the contents of the player packet was also in the book itself. I think PbtA has this tendency of leading to loads of pages on the table, but it can make them very easy to pick up and play or to learn as you play.

That element is definitely here, but I think the vast number of wide-ranging moves and the excitement that would drum up in my player group would more than makeup for that initial overwhelming feel of "whoa, that's a lot of papers out on the table".

Overall, it's the most I've wanted to play a game in this style in a while. I like that the base setup for the world is very much up to the players to determine via the characters they make. I like that PCs here will probably feel unlike any other folks have played before.

The community aspect feels like where I'd want to center my story around, as a player. Seeing that shift and change over time feels like it would be very rewarding and would help lean into the "the old world is dead, what do we want the new world to look like?" theme I enjoy.

Because Aaron King is cool and recently hit a lot of Twitter followers, Patchwork Worlds is now Pay-what-you-want over on Itch.

I'm not sure if physical copies are readily available. For full disclosure (guess I should have said this up front), I got this copy for free from Aaron! Not for the purposes of this thread or anything, just for fun a while back.

Thanks for reading more ramblings from me! If you like to do that sort of thing, check out my newsletter - Missives from the MeatCastle. It's got writings on my work, cool stuff I've run across the web in the last month, and exclusive rpg stuff! https://meatcastle.substack.com

[safetycar-restart]

In light of tonight’s soft vibes, I’m thinking little!arthur? Because honestly I’ve been missing him.

He seems to be so in love with his mommy (Adoration and comfort-type love than romantically). So I was thinking about what a tyoical night routine for them would be?

I can imagine gently washing him in a bubble bath, picking out his pyjamas, drying his hair whilst giving him little kisses throughout. Maybe massaging him tummy with some back rubs. But my personal fave scenario is giving him some warm milk and just rocking him to sleep. Honestly, the entire image is just so cute 🥰

-🎞️

FINALLY MORE LITTLE!ARTHUR!! Any and all little content is just perfect for soft night, and this is perfect I love it.

So firstly, Arthur regresses very young, sometimes even younger than one. And he really can't do much of anything himself when he's regressed, just needing you to be care for him and look after him. For everyone else, he's an absolute nightmare to care for because he's so fussy and so whiney and cries for everything. He'll just cry and beg for his mommy, fighting people who try to help him because they arent doing it right!!

But then for you he's just the best little thing ever. He just loves you so so much. When he's in his adult headspace, its romantic love. When he's regressed, it's more adoration and trust of course. He just... he loves his mommy!! No one cares for him like his mommy does.

And a typical nighttime routine with just his mommy is so so good, definitely his favourite thing.

So firstly, of course there's a bubble bath!! He LOVES bubbles. Maybe you always let him choose the scent? Only he can't read the bottles so he just points to a pretty colour and thats the one you use. He's always so sweet while he watches you get the bath ready. He sits on the floor in the corner of the room, sucking on his pacifier and watching. He's such a well behaved little when he can see you, hence why you can never just leave him in the bedroom while you get the bath ready.

Once it's all ready, you help him get undressed and into the bath, which he loves. He's so happy and so giggly, just playing with the bubbles and letting you clean him. He never complains, even when you have to wash his face.

All you have to do is say, "Come on darling, just let me do this okay, it'll be over quick" and then he stays nice and still.

Once he's been bathed, you dry him with a big big fluffy towel, making sure to kiss him all over and tickle him a little. He has to be giggling and squirming by the time you finish drying him or else you haven't done it right.

Then, after that, it's time to get him dressed. First you put a diaper on him, always making sure to kiss his tummy before it goes on. Most of the time he wakes up in the middle of the night back in his adult headspace and the diaper is unnecessary, but you both decided it wasn't worth the risk so you always put one on.

And anyway, when he's regressed Arthur loves the additional comfort it brings, knowing he's all safe and doesn't have to worry.

Of course his comfiest jammies are next, a process which also involves kissing him all over as you put his clothes on. l

Often you'll give him some warm milk then, which he happily drinks while you tell him a story. Sometimes it's a story you read him from a book, sometimes its one you made up, sometimes it's just you talking about your day. It doesn't matter, just as long as he can hear your voice he's happy.

He almost never manages to actually finish his milk before he falls asleep, instead he'll just stop drinking with the bottle still in his mouth.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Saw you were going through Tillie Walden books in preparation for Book Three, got to commend you for putting in more legwork than most fans. Your review of Book One was actually what got me into reading her stuff and opening my perspective!

Idk if you've read Spinning yet so I don't want to spoil it, but there's a experience Tillie recounts from her life in it that really makes all of the accusations of Tillie being a groomer more disgusting. I'm not looking forward to fan discussion when Book Three starts to get marketed and releases, but I'm looking forward to whatever you'll have to say on it ^^

I've read Spinning and I think I know what part you're talking about. There are a handful of moments in Spinning that made me raise my brows and go, "....Oh. Oh no." And yeah, that scene is one I'm going to talk about a lot in my analysis.

Like... without giving too much away, my thought process in this is I believe that when a creator creates, whatever the medium, a piece of their soul is weaved in. Think about every artist you follow, writers and authors you read, video essayists you watch, etc. and you'll find connections and themes throughout their work that helps you piece together a small part of who they are, what they're passionate about, what bothers them, the pains they've suffered, etc. Sure, you'll never know the whole person, but you'll learn a little.

When I look at the Clementine comics, I always ask, "Why are you like this? Why are you the way that you are?? Why did Tillie write it like this??" and I believe a lot of questions are answered when looking at her previous works.

For example, everyone gets pissy about the reasons why Clementine left Ericson, and for good reason. But when you read more of Tillie's work, "I'm not happy"/"They thought I was a liability but I think the real issue was that I couldn't talk to any of them about it" actually starts to make some sense. It's still not good, but I can see why specifically Tillie Walden took that road... this isn't the first time she's written something like this.

The thing about Spinning is it's autobiographical, so we get to actually know a lot more about Tillie and her time as a competitive figure skater... because did y'all know that? She was a competitive figure and synchronized skater for twelve years, and she hated it. She dealt with bullying and all the pressures that come with being a skater. She was scared of being gay and living in Texas. One scene that I still think about [aside from that scene] is when she came out to her brother and his response was, "Oh. I mean, it's just sorta... wrong, I think."

I've read Spinning, On a Sunbeam, and a few stories from the Alone in Space collection, and I still have more to get to... though to be real honest, I'm totally procrastinating Are You Listening? because @pi-creates has read that one, so we've talked about it and I know the trigger warnings behind it and I'm just... I need to be in the right headspace, I'll get to it eventually.

But y'know what really sucks? I honestly believe that a lot of people in the twdg fandom would love Tillie's other works. Y'all are always going off about wanting more female characters who are complex, interesting, flawed and gay and like.... Tillie Walden! That's Tillie Walden's works! But opinions of her are soured by the Clementine comics! So they're not going to give her another chance! And that sucks!

Ugh, anyway... I guess you could say that my motivations behind this are my own frustrations with the fandom being so shitty with their bad faith takes, like listen.... I've discovered that bad faith takes really get under my skin- reddit makes me want to walk into the ocean.

I know that my one essay isn't going to change anything, and I'm not going to post it on reddit, but I'm doing it anyway in hopes that some people will read it and develop a more nuanced opinion of all this. Or give Tillie's other works a chance. But mostly, this is for me and if other people get something out of it, then even better.

Boat God help us all when Book Three drops, though... people were fucking shitty about Book Two, like people went out of their way to be intentionally deceptive with lying about what happens, blowing things out of proportion, and making fake wiki screenshots and shit. DomTheBomb's review on youtube was half-assed, furthered the harmful self-insert narrative, AND got basic facts about the story wrong. People attacked Tillie's insta with grooming accusations, and there were people telling her they hoped her newborn baby was taken away from her.

When I say I've never been more disappointed in this fandom, I fucking mean it. My only hope is that people won't be as pissy since it's the final book in the trilogy but y'know.

I don't know when my post on it will be out, but I'm shooting for before Book Three releases. I'm mostly working on my clouis and violentine essay while I read through Tillie's books. Thanks for the message💚

[meltotheany]

original tag created by readlikewildfire + earl grey books! oh hello, friends! i hope you’re doing well! this is my eighth year doing this book tag, and that feels very wild to type (and to think about), but this is such a book community staple and i really love doing it each and every year! and i will also add some statistics to the end, that will encompass my reading for the first half of 2024! so far, i have read 44 books this year! okay, let’s get into it! please click on any of the book titles down below for my full reviews with thoughts and feelings and in depth content and trigger warnings! 💗 ♡ 1. best book you’ve read so far in 2024 ☆ The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez + A Memory Called Empire (Teixcalaan, #1) by Arkady Martine ⤷ my two favorites being backlist space operas? very insane dot. both also focusing on colonization and the generational impact of the horrors that come from it. also both also celebrating queer love, while also having some morally questionable sapphic relationships? wow, the dots are really dotting on this day whew! but i truly loved both of these with my whole heart and highly recommend them! ♡ 2. best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024 ☆ The Brides of High Hill (The Singing Hills Cycle, #5) by Nghi Vo ⤷ please, tor, give me cleric chih stories forever. but this fifth installment really resonated with me on a personal level and i just loved reading it so very much. ♡ 3. new release you haven’t read yet, but want to ☆ Just for the Summer (Part of Your World, #3) by Abby Jimenez ⤷ after Part of Your World becoming one of my favorite romance books of all time, and also completely adoring Yours Truly, i know i am going to love this one too. i just want to make sure i am in a good headspace for it, because even though everyone is loving this, they are also saying its her heaviest book yet. but i can’t wait to pick this up, hopefully soon! ♡ 4. most anticipated release for the second half of the year ☆ Wind and Truth (The Stormlight Archive, #5) by Brandon Sanderson (december 6th) ⤷ i feel like this fifth (and final for this era) stormlight book is going to be all the sff girlies answers, but here i am to make it mine, too! i cannot wait for this book and for this conclusion, and will be reading it immediately at midnight when it hits my kindle! ♡ 5. biggest disappointment ☆ Wild Love (Rose Hill, #1) by Elsie Silver ⤷ well, even cowgirls get the blues (this is a d20 joke, i am so sorry but i could not resist) !! this is the first one star i have given out in years, because this was truly a mess in almost every way. disappointment is an understatement, actually. ♡ 6. biggest surprise ☆ Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass, #3) by Sarah J. Maas ⤷ it had been almost ten years since i read this book for the first time! but over the last year, i have been rereading all of sjm’s books/universe with my friend penny, and loving tog more than i did a decade ago has for sure been the biggest surprise in my reading year, so far! (but i expect this surprise to keep getting stronger and stronger throughout this year and reread!) ♡ 7. favorite new author (debut or new to you) ☆ Jade Song ⤷ Chlorine was such an amazing debut, with some of the most beautiful writing. i immediately knew i wanted to follow and read everything this author will create in the future. but then i also found this article that they wrote on inspiration, and they are just so cool –  On BTS, Writing, and What Makes an Artist. ♡ 8. newest fictional crush ☆ Funny Story by Emily Henry ⤷ miles kind of truly swept me completely off my feet. truly the best love interest i have read in years. (bonus michigan points too, wow) ♡ 9. newest favorite character ☆ The Crimson Moth (The Crimson Moth, #1) by Kristen Ciccarelli ⤷ rune completely won me over, even though i only gave this story three stars (a very high three stars) !! also, i just really enjoyed the magic system in this book and rune using the blood from her cycles was just really uniq...

[average-hyperfixator]

I love this whole thing thank you everyone I love having Ted appreciation on my feed Ted really is a wonderful example of an imperfect victim and how much people can and will villainize them. I always think about this one line from a video I watched analyzing IHNMAIMS, directed towards Ted. Something along the lines of "if he cannot love and be loved, he will hate and be hated" in reference to the fact he is convinced people hate him, and self-destructively antagonizes them as a way of defending himself. Since he thinks they hate him, he tries to hate them harder so he doesn't let his guard down. But deep down he doesn't want that to be true. We see his care slip through, he does care for them, and wants them to care for him. He wants companionship, he wants them to like him, but he's so deluded from his broken mind after all these years he just can't imagine they could like him. Hence the spiral he sends himself down, before (in my opinion) the revelation he has- "hate's no answer" now this is a bit of a side tangent but that line (namely said to AM in the radio drama) is when I think Ted's mind shifts a bit more into a lucid state. Especially because the ice caverns aren't long after, he's going in with a clearer headspace, that thought he called out to the computer still in his mind. And bing bang boom the most tragic sacrifice I think I have ever seen happens. Also just in general throughout the adaptations, Ted's need for validation is apparent- ESPECIALLY in his game backstory. I mean he, a poor 19-year-old farm boy, getting taken by a 30+ something-year-old woman likely because she was the first person in ages to give him any sort of positive attention? Followed by a life of constantly seeking that out, while also getting the money to keep himself alive? Guys he just needs someone to genuinely love him it's so blatantly clear. (As a side note I think it's fascinating how Ted's affinity for fantasy stories in the game probably relates to how he viewed himself in his life before AM- a fantasy. Cheating is a fantasy, especially for rich women upset with their neglectful husbands. He let himself become that fantasy, no longer himself, but a fun idea for anyone willing to pay for it. He likely never had a genuine connection with someone his entire adult life, any connections he formed were likely out of want for his money, status, or body. He was no more real than the knights in shining armor from his favorite childhood books. AM would have no issue manipulating him, he was already clay for anyone to mold. Kinda a side tangent but it's important to me that we think of how his backstory affects how he acts :3) In summary, Ted is a beautifully written imperfect victim who gets WAY WAY WAY too much slack from the fandom. If you've ever randomly put "I hate Ted" in one of your IHNMAIMS posts I am judging you! You are being side eyed! Anyway I'm so so happy to see Ted defending, it's such a nice change of pace.

I am so SICK of people mischaracterizing Ted

I always see people defend Ellen or Gorrister or really any of them. (Please understand I, myself, also constantly defend Ellen) but never do I see Ted. I even see some people comparing him to Jimmy? That’s way too far. It’s always people bashing and writing him off as some asshole who didn’t gaf about anyone

That’s so so wrong.

Ted is literally driven to insanity. Can you imagine constantly being on edge? In a state of panic? Convinced the only people around you are out to get you? It’s gotta be exhausting. 109 years of physical and mental torture. He’s a paranoid and a schizophrenic. He talks about angels singing ‘Go Down Moses’ and bringing Ellen and I think Nimdok back. That did not happen. AM is filling his head with religious imagery to make Ted to see him as some all divine, all powerful God like being. And he is. And it works. Ted sees AM as a masculine deity. I’ve noticed in the book he says Gorrister hits Ellen while only she cries for Benny. While in the radio drama, they are all worried over Benny and Ted actually freaks out and tells them to get back, that it was too late. It’s like he believes they have no control whatsoever. ‘whatever AM gives we just have to take it’ or around the lines of that. 

He’s mental. He cannot help that. So of course you’re a jerk to everyone. I’m sure AM also fills his head with lies about the others as well. I mean why wouldn’t he? He doesn’t want them to work together and thrive, he wants them to break each other and suffer. 

In the radio drama as well, Ted and Ellen have a one on one. After a freak out from seeing whatever he thought he saw and running away for god knows how long (notice how he can’t keep time. I’m sure the others can’t as well but often he says maybe days, months, years) he’s scared and upset. Maybe they were just laughing out of confusion or fear or because it wasn’t them in his shoes but to him that is laughter enjoying his pain, the same way AM later laughs after stabbing him and expressing his hatred. He insults them all but I mean listen to what he says. Benny has been extremely altered. Gorrister has been stripped of personality, Nimdok is a mystery case of disappearances and Ellen sleeps with the others (which personally, and this is my belief, I think she only ever sleeps with Ted to keep his peace of mind. Plus we only hear this from Ted himself, and he’s already insecure saying Benny isn’t gay anymore and he’s got a huge wiener which is also false. I’ve seen some fan theories about this and I actually like them. And also Benny can’t consent to any of that and I’m sure Gorrister misses his wife, I’ve never played the video game sorry if I’m mistaken I just know Gorrister had a wife, But that’s just my interpretation) and overall Ted just seems like a huge dick. No wonder after all his paranoia would he think he’s got the good end of the deal. When in reality, he really really doesn’t. At least everyone understands their situation to an extant, minus Benny, Ted doesn’t. Ted is constantly walking on eggshells. Or he thinks he is. Then after it clicks and he breaks down. And again in the radio drama, in the rat (or was it bat) cave, he tells Benny ‘we don’t do that, we’re not animals, we’re human beings!’ He is desperately trying to hold onto his humanity (which, doesn’t work out clearly as he’s a slug) and somewhat a grip on reality. That he is still human even if this isn’t humane. He’s desperate. He’s alone even when surrounded by people. He’s constantly filled with thoughts and honestly I’d call it grooming (grooming: the practice of preparing or training someone for a particular purpose or activity.) from AM. In the video game AM tells Ted he’s his favorite. At the end of the day hes scared like all of them are. And he can’t keep himself together. He has lost himself completely. Broken down and reshaped. He mentions how AM has made his mind a chalkboard or something like that. He also suffers physically too. In the game, when he stands in his cage with the lazors CLEARLY only aiming for his eyes. He can’t even see that. He still stands there in agony when all he needs to do is duck down. He misses the bigger picture. Ted is so lost, so paranoid so delusional and mental he can barely see it himself. Is he a good guy? No. Is he a bad guy of the story? Absolutely not.

ALSOOO Jimmy killed everyone out of selfishness (yes every single death and event is all his fault I hate him I’m so glad he killed himself). Ted, who was finally given a clear head for once, saved them. It was him or Ellen and he chose to get her out of that hell scape. (Which I like to point how how he said he tried/wanted to bury them, meaning he had at least a small amount of time to kill himself. Which he couldn’t, also a fan theory I’ve seen.) Ted sacrificed himself to help everyone. The complete opposite of what Jimmy did. He is HAPPY he pissed AM off by killing them. Even if AM has won he still knows he has the upper hand. How in the hell in his situation can you think YOU have the advantage? In the radio drama as well, the way he says ‘He altered me’ (or along the lines) I saw a comment saying he sounds violated. Which he has been. I love Ted, I really do. I appreciate his character so much because he’s often so overlooked and just known as the unreliable narrator. He’s unreliable for a reason, not because he’s selfish and wants the story his way, but because that’s how he sees things. (also idk if it’s true it’s this pdf file I found talking about all of them and it talks abt Ted at 19 and like older women. I can’t remember what it says but like, 19? 19 is young, still a boy.)

Yes, I do acknowledge he is a huge dick to everyone. But he’s also in a bad terrible situation. And even if you hate him, I think he definitely makes up for it all at the very end. 

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Greetings and salutations, all!

Our farm witch friends know what’s up and they’ve brought us another round of their recommendations to share with the community.

Check out this week’s faves from around town and be sure to leave the creators some love!

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Bigger than the whole sky (@blackandwhiteandrose​) “This is just a really, really beautiful look at David's life before SC and his views on love. You don't need to have watched Lone Star or be familiar with TK to read it, but that's a nice little easter egg for those of us who have.”

Click/snap/whirr (@smallumbrella369​) “It's so emotive. The writing is evocative, the characters feel real, and the ideas in the stories always feel fresh. This gave me goosebumps.”

Fate is kind when you wish (@januarium​) “It is so sweet and funny and heartwarming. I love magical fics. In this one David wishes he knew what Patrick was thinking, in the days before they get together, and he gets his wish! It’s just so funny and lovely! Of course Patrick is smitten with David, so it’s great to hear his inner dialogues about that! But, unexpectedly, he is also quite the swear-er in his head! I love the way you can just hear those thoughts as you read them. David’s reactions are wonderful. And they are just so lovely together. There’s  also a WONDERFUL podfic of this by the WONDERFUL Amanita Fierce, which I also highly recommend!!”

Google it (@rosedavid​) “A collection of Patrick's Google searches throughout the events of canon. It's such a cute little new angle we get to see our favorite Button in, and takes us a bit more inside his headspace. Quick, but super fun read!!” 

How, Patrick (@madlori​) “The comment threads from Patrick's followers are so spot on.”

Left unsaid (treeperson/@treepyful​) “It's a rare pair (Jake/Mutt), it’s long enough to tell a beautiful story, but still short enough to read it multiple times in a week! There's like 8 words of dialog, and still I can hear so much of their feelings, it's a picture painted so magnificently, and in exquisite detail.”

On your marks, get set, bake! (@floosilver8) “Even though the fic takes place in the summer, baking always feels like a holiday activity to me so it's the perfect time to read this fic! Everyone's favorite Button is a contestant on the Great Canadian Baking Show where David is a judge, and sparks fly instantly. Just like Patrick's chocolate souffle, it's sweet, hot, and absolutely delicious!” 

Red, White, and Blue Jays (@grapehyasynth​) “A gorgeous adaptation of a lovely book. This made me want to read the book on which it's based. It's so beautifully written, hitting all the notes of the original but still feeling like it's own story, and so, so romantic. Read. It.”

Shine like silver (@stereopticons​) “Stunning is the only word I have for this piece. It's such a gorgeous post-canon story about David finding a passion that he lost. It's a must-read for the fandom IMO.”

Standing in the sunlight in the middle of the street (apothefarley) “The writing is gorgeous. You can feel David’s thoughts. You can feel their love.  And bonus, Patrick sings “Case of You” to David.” 

Tonight I'll drift in a dream with you (torakowalski) “It’s got sweet caretaking, loads of humor, zany Roses, and some zinger lines.”

What’s in a name? (railmedaddy/@rmd-writes​) “I love how the writer developed a story behind the "a helllmet" exchange David and Alexis share in S2.”  You have no home, you have no walls  (odofidi) “This was such a dark and heartbreaking version of David and his struggle with addiction to deal with an unrequited (so he thought) love for his best friend. I loved the way it was written, going back and forth from present time to the past and how the reader discovers David’s fall into addiction and his struggle to stay sober and how his sobriety becomes so important to him; how he grew from that and how he finally reaches a place where he can love himself and accept being loved by someone. It’s beautifully written and I don’t often see it recommended.”

[albelen]

book talk: oathbringer

So. MUCH. HAPPENED.

Granted, it took me two months to read this because I had finals and sometimes I was not in the right headspace to read.

Where do I even begin? My thoughts, as always, are so scattered and since I have the smaller copy of the book I didn't use any sticky notes to write my comments, but instead just doggy-eared some of the pages I deemed important / I liked:

● this is from a conversation between Jasnah and Dalinar about the claims of the latter's heresy:

"I don't mind people believing what works for them, Uncle. That's something nobody ever seems to understand- I have no stake in their beliefs. I don't need company to be confident."

Among all the characters in the book, I feel like I respect Jasnah more than anyone. Her intelligence and confidence in herself and in her work are the things I admire about her a lot.

In particular, I resonate with her when it comes to religious views, which I'm not gonna talk about because that's a conversation for another day.

● there is a page of Moash marching with the parshman and Voidbringers, he's contemplating about the how humans can't govern themselves.

I honestly don't remember why I thought this was an important page, but upon re-reading it there's this line:

Moash had failed Kaladin and the others- but that was merely how men were in this debased age. He couldn't be blamed. He was a product of his own culture.

Now, I don't want dismiss Moash's hatred for Elhokar and the lighteyes, he's more than entitled to feel that way after his grandparents were killed unfairly, but the fact that he thought he couldn't be blamed for his actions and that he is what he is because of his culture... that's just way too easy, Moash. Just because the society you grew up in is as is, doesn't mean you just take it, storming man. I feel so strongly about this because I love everyone from bridge four, but after what Moash did in this book... I don't know if there's a way for him to redeem himself.

● Adolin hanging out with Bridge Four!! ISTG, Adolin is the real GOAT in this series.

I feel for him when he felt small, being surrounded by Radiants.

I mean, who wouldn't? Your father, your brother, your fiancé, your cousin and your friend. Personally I would have had very low esteem in myself, but Adolin fought through it and just did what he can. He is a character I admire a lot too. Because despite his upbringing, his background and his privileges, he still choses to be humble, be nice to anyone and work hard.

All in all, he's really the most likeable character imo. He and Shallan haven't known each other for the longest time, but it really feels like he's sincere with his feelings despite his prior reputation with girls haha

● Kaladin's friendship with Adolin and Shallan: I know our favorite bridgeboy has his Bridge Four and thinks that's they are all he needs, but I can't help but feel relieved that Kal has Adolin and Shallan.

Like I've said previously, I don't think Kal had any romantic feelings for Shallan, but he thought he did because she reminded him of Tien. His friendship with the two newly-weds are important and it's gonna help him along the way. I love that for Kal ;w;

● I need a Wit in my life, I need him to make me see things I don't see, to make my reflect and realise all the important things in life.

There is this line I particularly liked when he found Shallan:

"[...] You mostly failed. This is life. The longer you live, the more you fail. Failure is the mark of a life well lived. [...]"

This is something a lot of us should probably hear, because I know I do especially when I have doubts in myself and I'm scared of doing things for the fear of failing.

● I don't like Taravangian, and I know he's just trying to save the world but also just actually trying to save his people but when he told Dalinar this:

"This is the sacrifice, isn't it?" Taravangian said softly. "Someone must bear the responsbility. Someone must be dragged down by it, ruined by it. Someone must stain their soul so others may live."

This reminded me of someone, but for the sake of not going into a more serious tone I shall leave it like that.

● As this post is getting longer, these two lines are the last ones that I'm gonna mention:

"I will take responsibility for what I have done," Dalinar whispered. "If I must fall, I will rise each time a better man."

I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory. Dalinar frustrated me all throughout this book. I wanted to slap young Dalinar, especially because of how he treated Evi. I have to admit he was so cool in the last part of the book lol I loved his interactions with Lift.

I kinda wish we had interactions between Lift and Kaladin - I hope we got one in the next book.

And the last line and the one that gave my goosebumps:

She pulled him tight, “Maybe you don’t have to save anyone, Kaladin. Maybe it’s time for someone to save you.”

Kaladin always thinks of saving others, but never thinks that maybe he’s the one who needs to be saved. He helped the parshman, he bonded with the Wall Guards... he cares so deeply for anyone he barely thinks of himself. 

Oh, Kaladin, I just wanna wrap him in a blanket and give him a warm soup. :(

I’m itching to read Rhythm of War, but I think my brain needs a break from fantasy books.

[droogiesanddiscourse]

HCs: Max Cady and his Relationship with your Child

Original Message: @dinamrani HI:} may i request max cady n his relationship with your child? I THINK THATD BE A SUPER FUN READ N IM INTERESTED TO SEE HOW HE WOULD BE WITH HIS OWN KID

I CAME R U N N I N G TO WRITE THIS, THIS IS SUCH A FASCINATING IDEA LKAJSDFLKAJ

Warnings: None! Fluffy fun for everyone 

• Okay but before we begin, can we all agree to not let someone like Max Cady be around your child pleASE. Thank you! Let me...lemme get into the headspace to write this now KLJASDLKFJAKLDSJF Mr. Cady....Mr. Cady.... 

• Hmm, it’s a bit difficult to really think what kind of father Max would be, he is a bit rough around the edges, and not one that should really be around kids. He doesn’t like them in the first place either. 

• But, if he loves you as much as he says he does, he would be open to having a child with you. It’s basically just an extension of the love you two share, so maybe he’ll be a bit more open to having a child as long as it’s with you. Secretly, I think he’s always wanted to be a father, just isn’t ready for the commitment. 

• Max also recognizes his own age, and tells you to basically prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. Whatever happens is meant to be. And, well apparently a child was meant to be in Max’s and your life! 

• Max is a bit...hesitant at first. He doesn’t have any experience with children, hasn’t been around any at all. While his friends were all growing up and having children, Max was already serving his time in jail. 

• Will ask to baptize the child most definitely. Even if you are not religious, it’s a very important thing to Max’s life, so he expects you to engage in certain traditional behaviors. But he’d never force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with, no matter how much of a religious zealot he is. 

• He attempts to fall into a fatherly role as quick as possible, because he knows how much you are counting on him. When he doesn’t know what to do, he’s rather inclined to just spoil your child. Man’s got a lot of cash, what can I say? Throwing money at them will probably solve the issue.

• Dancing with your child around the living room, holding their tiny hands in his rather large ones. Your child will stand on Max’s feet, as he’ll guide them across the room with exaggerated steps. 

• Max is sure to raise your child with a great music taste, the sound of records from his personal collection always playing throughout the house day and night. Max does like little mini “lessons” for them, giving a rundown of the artist, year it was released, and best tracks on the album. Your child will become an old soul for sure. 

• He’ll include your child in his intensive workout routine, picking them up and throwing them into the air or doing arm curls with them. This always makes them giggle uncontrollably, and always ends in tickle fights.

• Also will throw them up high into the air just to catch them again, which also leads to ample amounts of giggles. 

• Constant nose nuzzles and kisses, for both you and your child !! 

• Your child at first thinks that Max’s tattoos are absolutely fascinating, unable to understand the concept of a permanent mark on someone’s skin. But they are always asking to see them, and to touch them. One time your child was sitting on the floor, drawing with markers while Max was reading a book in his armchair. Curiously, they climbed over to him, and started drawing on the exposed portion of his legs peeking out from his pants. He looks down, confused for a moment, but lets out a little laugh. “What’re you doin’ down there, sweetheart?” Your child looks up at him with big, innocent orbs. At first, they feel a little scared, thinking they might have angered Max. But they squeak out in a meek voice - “You have other drawings on you, I thought you would like another?” Max's heart basically swells three sizes bigger, and he smiles, patting your kid on their head. From that day on, Max becomes your child’s personal drawing pad. 

• Would let your child create a little doodle to put on Max’s skin for his next tattoo aw :’) nothing too crazy of course, but Max would love a poorly drawn flower or animal from his child to grace his skin! Heck, even just a scribble would be fun, he knows what it represents. If your child wants to, he can draw it right on his skin like they usually do, then Max will get it professionally done. 

• Or if that’s too much, he’ll probably get angels wings with your child’s name in cursive next to it. My first thought was aww what if he got your child’s zodiac sign or the moon phase they were born under :’))) but Max will be like “that’s the work of the DEVIL I ain’t having no witchcraft symbols desecrate my flesh” so...

• Max will let them lay on his chest while he’s reading the newspaper, laying down on the couch. Both of them will often fall asleep in this position, and it’s a cute sight to see. 

• He’ll try his best to stop smoking in order to set a good example for your child, but it’s a pretty difficult challenge. But he tries to at least not do it openly around them. 

• He wants to make sure your child is well educated!! Max was illiterate most of his life, and he knew all the incredibly difficult challenges he faced because of it. In no way does he want your child to have to deal with that. Max is practically reading to them the first night he meets them, and continues to share stories.

• Will help them do their schoolwork, it’s an exercise for his brain as well as for your child. Max still struggles with math, so it’s kinda fun watching this little kid teach the big, burly Max Cady how to do multiplication aw ..

• When your child is particularly fussy, Max will always take them for a ride in his red mustang (with the top up, of course) and let them sit in the back, pouting out the window. Max will always use these moments to have a heart to heart moment. Sometimes they will even fall asleep because of the soothing motions of the car. 

• He’s an interesting father figure for sure, but you all make an interesting team together. You're happy, and that’s what’s important 

[dreamescapeswriting]

Aftershock ~ PJM [Request]

↬↬↬Word Count: 3.1K

↬↬↬Genre: ANGST!

↬↬↬Pairing: Jimin x Fem!Reader

↬↬↬TRIGGER WARNINGS: Mentions death, Earthquakes, cheating, no happy endings in this one guys, yall really trying to kill me off with the angst here.

It was no secret that Jimin was growing distant from you but you were putting it down to the pressures of his job that was drawing him away from you but lately it had gotten worse.

"What if me and Yerin flew out with you? We could have a family trip in London?" You'd tried suggesting multiple options to Jimin but he shot you down all week telling you about how busy he would be in London, that it wouldn't be any fun for both of you to just sit in a hotel room while he worked all day.

"I can't, it won't be fun for either of you." You sighed looking at the back of his head while he packed up his suitcase for the weekend ahead of him.

"It's just three nights, I'll be back before you know it." He turned around and for a split second you thought he was going to embrace you but he turned to walk out of the room going towards your 10-year-old daughter's bedroom to say goodbye. He kissed the top of her head while she slept, pulling the covers over her body wishing her goodnight before he came back out of the room and came face to face with you.

"But I'm going to miss you," You whispered pulling his tie so he would move closer to you, it had been so long since you'd been this close you'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be next to him.

"My plane- I can't do this Y/n," He stared at you as he placed his hands on your arms the usual heart skipping he got whenever he was close to you had faded, the fact that he could look into your eyes and no longer stutter confirmed everything he'd been feeling over the last couple of months. He was falling out of love with you and into love with somebody else,

"When you come back I'll make sure we have some time together as a family, Yerin missed you." You lied to him, Yerin had been growing distant from her father telling you that there was something off she couldn't put her finger on.

"Sounds like a good idea, I'll have Areum find some places for us." He lied again but you couldn't tell when he was lying to you anymore, it used to be so easy to detect but now it had become so normal for him to lie to you there were no telltale signs anymore.

"That sounds good, are Areum and Jungkook going with you this weekend?" You knew Areum and Jungkook really well since they were Jimin's personal assistants at work but Jimin froze as her name fell from your lips, you even smiled as you said her name.

"Areum is but Jungkook isn't, he has some work to be doing in the office. I thought I mentioned that-"

"You did! I'm sorry, I just forgot." The thought of Areum and Jimin being alone in London didn't scare you, your husband loved you so you and you trusted him so you saw no reason to worry about it. Plus Areum was young enough to be Jimin's niece or if you'd had Yerin a few years sooner old enough to be his daughter. She was only 25 while Jimin was 35.

"Oh will you tell her I got us some face masks for the next time she comes over, I remember her mentioning that she loved them before." Jimin hated the fact that you and Areum had bonded it meant what he was doing with her behind your back would hurt all the more if you were to ever find out...Which he wasn't planning on happening until he'd figured out his headspace. He'd felt himself falling out of love with you, after 18 years of being together it was bound to happen eventually.

"I'll tell her when I see her at the airport darling, I have to go." He leant closer to you leaving a small kiss on your lips as he went back into the bedroom. For you the butterflies never stopped, every time he looked at you it was like the first time all over again. Your heart would skip a beat whenever he said your name or came close to you, it was always going to be that way for you.

Areum was waiting in the black SUV outside his house, the driver - Jung Hoseok - was growing more and more impatient with how long Jimin was taken but kept his mouth shut since he liked his job. Jimin was one of the fastest-growing CEO's in the business and everyone wanted to work for him even if it was just a driver or just a cleaner.

"Mr Park, lovely to see you this evening." He greeted as Jimin got into the back of the SUV and sat down beside Areum, as soon as the door shut and you could no longer see Jimin he slipped off his wedding band and placed it into the cup holder of the car - it would be there when he came back from London but he didn't need that holding him back.

"I was thinking we could start our weekend at the natural history museum, they have this exhibit on at the moment that you're going to love." Jimin groaned at Areum tilting her head up to look into her eyes before he laid a gentle kiss on her lips, the butterflies flew into his stomach instantly giving him the feeling he'd missed with you. Hoseok put his head down so he wouldn't have to watch the display happening in the back of his own car. He'd known Jimin for the last 11 years and to see him throw away his marriage with you like that wasn't a nice feeling for him, especially since he'd been close with you as well.

"A little traffic sir, will that be a problem?" Jimin looked away from Areum and to Hoseok who was glancing at him in the mirror,

"No Hoseok that's fine, I'll just close this. We have some business to attend to." Hoseok clicked the button that shut the glass window that saw into the back of the SUV he knew what ''business'' meant it was always the same with all of the CEO's. They'd cheat on their wives without the poor women knowing about it all.

As Saturday rolled around you began to miss Jimin more and more, he'd only been gone one day but it was one day too many to you.

"Jungkook, I've been trying to get hold of you all night," You breathed down the phone as Yerin was at dance practice while you sat outside trying to get Jungkook on the phone.

"I've been swamped in paperwork, Areum is with Jimin so I'm alone at the office. What can I do for your Mrs Park?" You smiled at the fact that he still continued to call you that despite your constant pleas for him to just call you by your first name.

"I want to fly out and surprise my husband so I was hoping you could tell me what hotel to go to and which flight to catch," You'd never been good at this sort of thing which was why Jimin normally had his assistants do everything for the both of you.

"I can organise all of that Mrs Park, but that'll be nice for you both. A weekend away in London," He began clicking through his laptop to find the details on where Areum and Jimin were staying that weekend.

"I hope Jimin sees it that was Jungkook, he'd been so busy lately I barely see him." You laughed softly trying not to rant to the boy who worked for your boss.

"Looks like there's a flight tonight and he's staying in the Clinton hotel so I'll have everything booked for you under your name Mrs Park." He smiled ordered everything right away before looking around his desk, scattered in bits of paper.

"If you're going maybe send Areum back, I need help I'm drowning in paper." He chuckled to you,

"I'll have Hoseok pick you up to take you to the hospital, Mrs Park." You thanked him and hung up the phone waiting for your daughter's practice to be over so you could go home and pack.

"Mrs Park." Hoseok greeted as he opened the door to the black SUV that had been parked outside your house yesterday,

"Thanks, Hobi," You smiled helping Yerin into the back of the car first, it was late at night so she was probably going to sleep throughout the whole flight which was a good thing. You hadn't told her that you were going to see Jimin just that you were going on a girl's trip and wanted everything to be a surprise for her.

"How was your day?" He questioned walking around to the front of the car to start driving towards the airport,

"It was good, I spent most of it packing up though." You frowned looking into the cupholder and Hoseok caught what you were doing, he knew the ring was in there he'd just forgotten to move it.

"Mr Park took it off yesterday, he didn't want to lose it in London." He hated that he was lying for Jimin right to your face but he had no other option, his life depended on keeping his job,

"Oh. Right, that makes sense." You whispered trying not to overthink the small detail but all the other times Jimin's had been away with you he'd worn his ring.

"How was your day Hoseok?" You asked trying to do something to distract yourself from the gut feeling that something was wrong, he was about to answer when he groaned hitting deadlock traffic.

"Looks like we're going to be a little late." Yerin looked up from her tablet to see what was wrong,

"Deadlock, get some rest sweetie I'll wake you up when we get there." You promised her as she started yawning, the tablet was slipped into her bag and she laid her head down on your shoulder to get some rest.

"WATCH IT!" A workman screamed at his friend as he travelled through the airport carrying a glass window panel with another workman, you pulled Yerin closer to you. The feeling that something was wrong hadn't left you since you left the car and nothing felt safe to you right now,

"Walk in front of me, don't wander off." You made her promise you that she wouldn't go anywhere and she nodded at you watching as you held onto her arm tightly trying to make your way towards the terminal you needed.

"We're going to London? With dad?" Yerin questioned as she got a look at the tickets as the flight attendant took the tickets from you. You wasted no time in waiting for her to fight you on this and you walked through the terminal with her, holding onto her hand.

"It'll be nice for us all to just get out for a while." You whispered but that was when you heard screaming, the ground started to move and the sounds around you sounded like thunder.

"Yerin get between a doorway now!" You screamed at her pushing her towards the plane as you saw an elderly woman struggling to stay upright.

"Here." You called out walking with her towards the airport instead of the plane, it was closer for her.

"Shit!" You screamed as she finally made it into the airport but the door slammed shut on you, locking due to the emergency systems in place,

"MUM!" Yerin screamed out watching as you tried to make your way over to her but the ground began to shake rapidly, screams filled the air as rubble began to fall around you, the terminal wasn't structurally sound enough hide inside of and there were no tables for you to hide underneath.

"Yerin! Go and get under something!" You yelled at her, as you went to rush towards the plane to join her it came away from the door as the ground shook some more. The small shakes began to turn violent and the glass windows inside of the terminal smashed, you made your way over to the poles to try and keep yourself from falling but the whole place wobbled.

It stopped, the shaking stopped and everything seemed to calm back down you looked around at the destruction that had been left behind, shards of glass everywhere along with pieces of the building that had begun to cave in on itself,

"Yerin?" You coughed as you inhaled rubble coming from the ceiling,

"Miss, please stay there, there could be-" Before the flight attendant could even say the words aftershock the ground rumble once again and the terminal shook falling towards the floor below you, you screamed out loudly as people watched in horror. Yerin was clutched by a flight attendant so she wouldn't have to watch what had happened.

Areum laughed as Jimin told her that he loved her, laughed. They'd been out to dinner the night before when he finally told her that he was planning on leaving you for her.

"Jimin, I don't do love." The words rung through his ears as she continued to laugh hysterically at him, he'd remembered her telling him that she'd only been sleeping with him to get to a higher place in the company. She'd done the same with all of her other jobs and nothing about the weekend they were spending together meant anything to him, she'd do this with multiple men if she could.

"We will be arriving in Seoul Private Airstrip soon, please fasten your seatbelts as we prepare to land." Jimin frowned coming out of his daydream to hear about the private airstrip, he took the attention of a flight attendant,

"Why are we landing in a private area?" She frowned at him turning on the news on the small TV in front of him, images of an earthquake at the main airport in Seoul filled the screen. Names were running along the bottom of those that had lost their lives, he felt no fear though. You were home waiting for him and he was going to confess everything to you, how much of a mistake he'd made by sleeping with Areum. He was going to come clean about the affair instead of holding it away from you.

"Mrs Park?" You looked up through blurry eyes as a torch was shone into them,

"I'm cold," You whispered looking into the paramedic's eyes as he tried to talk to you,

"We're working on getting you a blanket, can you tell me where you are?" You hissed trying to sit up but you were forced back down into place but it wasn't by a pair of hands, something was pinning you to the floor.

"W-What's that?!" You whimpered out feeling pain spread throughout your body whenever you tried to move,

"One of the beams fell on you Mrs Park, I need you to look at me and focus on me okay?" You were too tired for this, you stared at him trying to focus on what he was saying but you didn't understand anything. He sounded far away from you and everything was too cold,

"Tired." Was all you managed to say to him as you looked around you, bodies were laid on the floor being covered by sheets and you frowned.

"Yerin! My daughter!" It gave you a little fight but you still couldn't move thanks to the beam pinning you to the ground,

"We're working on that Mrs Park but I need you to look at me while we help you," You shook your head begging him to go and find your daughter instead.

"P-Please." Your voice came out croaky as you spat blood out onto the spot beside your head, the paramedic swallowed the lump in his throat. Everyone knew what that meant when someone was throwing up blood in drastic ways like this,

"Mrs Park I'm going to give you something to make the pain go away, okay?!" You nodded your head laying it back against the floor as he pushed a needle into your arm, you hummed as you felt numb from it the second it worked it's way into your blood.

"M-Mr Park is in London, someone has to call him." You mumbled looking at the paramedic as you realised what was happening, the man was holding your hand and had his other hand on a cross around his neck.

"You have to tell him that his assistants know when all the dance practices for Yerin are." The paramedic opened his eyes and sighed at you,

"You should rest-"

"There's too much he needs to know," You cried out tears rolling down your cheeks, you weren't in pain you were just sad that Jimin was never going to hear you tell him you loved him one last time.

"I'm sure he'll know," The paramedic whispered that was when you started to gasp for air and he knew it was coming,

"Shh, it's okay." He whispered stroking hair out of your face as you whimpered, it didn't hurt like they made it sound like it did in the movies. It felt like falling into a deep sleep, almost calm as you looked up at the paramedic trying to comfort you.

Jimin got home to find police knocking on the door Hoseok was talking to them with his head hanging low,

"May I help you?"

"Mr Park." Hoseok panicked looking up from the floor as the police turned to Jimin,

"What's going on?" Jimin felt panic rush through his body as he realised that the police were slowly taking off their hats and holding them across their hearts,

"Mrs Park and Yerin-"

"No. No, they're at home!" He didn't even give the police or Hoseok time to stop him as he pushed through the front door screaming out your names for you to come and see him but you didn't come out.

"Hoseok! W-Why?! Why would she go!? I told her-" He dropped onto his knees as the policemen informed him that you and your daughter had both been involved in the main collapsing of the fifth terminal at the airport.

"We're sorry for your loss Mr Park." He said nothing as they walked out of the house leaving him alone with Hoseok,

"Sir-"

"Leave. I-I need to be alone." Hoseok nodded placing the three rings he had down onto the coffee table beside Jimin who weakly looked at him. Your wedding ring, engagement ring and his wedding ring were together making him feel even worse about everything he'd done to you that weekend and over the last months. He'd ruined his whole relationship over someone that didn't even care for him, he'd lost everything he'd ever loved in a matter of days because he'd been too foolish to see what was right in front of him was perfect.

Tagline: 

@snowy-meowl​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​ @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @fan-ati--c​ @callingmyangel​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @innersooya​

[november-rising]

(Note)Books of Love

I watched this week’s Motherland: Fort Salem and Taylor Hickerson’s version of Book of Love hit me.  https://youtu.be/JcDAYyl9Y2Q. 

I’ve been in a low headspace and this song sparked something. This is a R-O-U-G-H draft. It’s in the same verse of It’s Just So Simple and it’s not a sequel. This will be edited and filled out further later. NOTE: I hear Bucky’s singing voice as a softer - more timid Eliot Spencer/Christian Kane voice.

I hope you enjoy.

Even in the afternoon, it was sticky out, the heat was an affront to his very being. He despised the cold for too many reasons. But damn. This heat was pushing all around him. 

There was the barely there breath of the kitchen oscillating fan that Ms. Grace kept on through the summer, throughout her cooking lessons with Bucky. Apparently, his knife skills were worth something - sometimes. 

Then there was the prize, the low hum of the window AC unit in her living room; it was so reminiscent of Sam’s nephews’ in-home COVID school room.The perspiring sweet tea that was more sweet and ice than tea and lemon was placed in front of his new friend, Ms. Grace. 

This was it.

Another peaceful day. Uneventful, boring even…

So many months and weeks. So many uneventful and boring weeks and months.  And he was safe. Bucky was safe.

Louisiana became home to this Brooklyn boy. It fit him - he was allowed to fit into this strip of land, sea and wood. The docks, the people, the weeping willows drifting leisurely.

That’s how it started a week prior. Out on the veranda with Ms. Grace’s twin grandchildren she fostered along the way, Denise and Denziel murmured, humming along to the chords of their guitars. 

Bucky smirked at the two while old memories (good old memories) flooded him with panging joy and a buzz through all limbs. 

And that’s what it was like before Bucky got the courage to approach the siblings during their creative session. 

The fan on it’s worn extension cord length stirred enough of a breeze that enticed everyone inside, pushing the AC unit air as best it could. 

“Any new songs, cuz?”  Another day. Another query. 

Could Bucky be ready?

After eating Ms. Grace’s lunch of Gullah cuisine (Bucky added this term to his new notebook. The notebook Steve started for this whole new world), Bucky smiled. Her family allowed him to learn and be accepted into their haphazard family; Bucky felt embraced. 

“Boy, just because we like you don’t mean you get to do whatever.”

“Ms. Grace, if I do whatever, without your permission, you can whip me good and hard.”

“Deal.”

Dishes cleaned and sorted, Bucky stood in the entryway of the living room. “What you got?”

Bucky entered the small, bright room, sitting across from the two young adults. He appreciated these two. These three…

Everyone. 

He appreciated everyone and he would never be able to fully convey what this town means to him. These people were the world to him. That one person is the world to him.

Denise smirked. “You listened to everything we sent.”

“Of course.” And some songs  were vulgar beyond recompense but he wouldn’t say anything about that. 

“And?” they said in unison.

Without missing a beat, Bucky went to his rucksack, pulling out notebooks, scattering them across the wood floor. 

The room went silent.

Denise smiled. “You think you can do this?”

Bucky’s fingers brushed against worn bounds, stark book fronts, and wrinkled leather.  These were his life. This was it. This was everything laid out. Scrawled in confusion, paper taunt with cheap yet faded ink. Marred with blood and deception 

Tilting his head up, Bucky responded,  “Yes.”

___

The party had wound down as few folks meandered around the bonfire. 

Warm, creaking and crickets.

Hypnotic and still. So very still. 

Sam was there.

Of course he was.

Sam was as constant as those notebooks. He was…

Bucky watched as Denziel chatted with others and Denise strummed on her guitar. 

The fire hues danced and melted. 

Orange, yellow, red, smoke. 

Orange, yellow, red, smoke. 

Orange, yellow, red, smoke. 

Looking across the fire, he was met with Sam’s eyes. A twinkle. 

Bucky was scared. He was genuinely scared.

Ms. Grace taught him so much. Her grandkids pushed his fearful ass into practicing guitar and singing. 

Rebecca used to say he could hold a tune. He had to do her justice. Bucky would make her proud. 

“You ready to wrap up? You do still wanna go on that early morning run?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped up. So enthralled in the chords dancing in his head, Bucky didn’t sense Sam’s voice reaching across, coming so close. “Can you wait a few more minutes?”

Sam ducked his head before looked back at Bucky. “I got a few minutes to spare.”

This was dumb.

Sam’s smile was enough.

If this was as good as Buck got, it was more than he deserved. “Thanks,”

Denziel strode by, patting his arm, “You ready?”

The rest blurred for him. Bucky rose, took the guitar, made the adjustments the twins taught him, and took a deep breath. There was no preamble. There was no introduction or pomp and circumstance.

This, right now, was the reason why Bucky decided to try. 

With his sleeves rolled up as best they could, Bucky started to play the guitar.

___

Simplistic. 

Earnest.  

Thrumming with life. 

Easy and open. 

Vulnerable.

Sam was enthralled. 

Bucky may have started and stopped once to play in front of the community and…

Chestnut strands illuminated to orange, yellow, red and smoke.

This was not hesitation.

“The book of love is long and boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It’s full of charts and facts and figures

And instructions for dancing

But I

I love it when you read to me

And you 

You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it

In fact that where’s music comes from

Some of it’s just transcendental

Some of it’s just really dumb

But

I love it when you sing to me”

Sam couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to look away as Bucky leaned back over the guitar, crooning gently.

Ms. Grace, suddenly poised in the fold out chair next to him, nudged Sam. “Open it.” 

A rucksack was by Sam’s feet. He knew that was James’.  “Ma’am. Where did you get this?”

Sam knew. He had to play the game. He had to see what Bucky wanted him to see.

His books. Worn bounds, stark book fronts, and wrinkled leather. These were his life.

Sam loved reading.

[superleeleehipster]

Theories on Season 11

Hey! So, as I’m sure you all are very aware, Find Me is out, and I can honestly say that I’m somewhat relieved it did. I was tired of all the theories and anxieties I was feeling about it. At least now we know what we’re working with officially.

I don’t want to make a review, as most blogs have already done their own. For this post, I’m going to jot down some theories on what Leah’s role will be in Season 11. Some of these theories I’ve thought of and others I’ve seen from other bloggers, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down. 

Of course, it’s just my opinion, and if you don’t agree, that’s perfectly fine.

Spoilers and theories under the cut... 

So is everyone ok after 10x18? Yes? No? No worries on whatever your answer is; your emotions are valid.

Anyways, even though the episode was a bit painful to watch as Caryl shippers, I really don’t think it sunk the Caryl ship. If anything, the subtle (not really) parallels between Caryl and Daryl and Leah just showed that Caryl could very possibly happen despite all the naysayers saying they could never sleep together. 

Also, can I say that the whole fish scene was freaking hilarious.

But I digress... I have a few predictions on how Leah’s going to fit into the storyline for season 11. I might hit the nail on the head, or I might be so off that I break my thumb instead, but that’s ok. It’s what makes it fun.

1) I’ve made this first part into a group of theories instead of just one. These are theories that I’ve heard about or read, but I really don’t think are going to happen. They’re just interesting enough for me to list them, but they’re unlikely in my opinion:

- Leah is in Season 11 but in flashbacks - I don’t think they would go this route, because it would be even lazier writing than what we’ve gotten, and it would be more interesting to have her in person instead of being in flashbacks. If they went that way, it would be incredibly obvious that she is a plotpoint for Daryl and that’s it, and that’s pretty crappy writing even for TWD.

- Leah is in Season 11 but she isn’t real - Now this one is an interesting concept admittedly. What if Daryl was in such a crappy mood in the woods, and is thirsting for companionship, so he makes someone up in his head that is pretty similar to Carol, but doesn’t look like her b/c he wouldn’t want to be that kind of creepy friend. Then in Season 11, the viewer realizes one way or another that she was made up, that he made her up in his head to help with his woes, but now that he’s better and with Carol he doesn’t need her anymore. Really neat theory from a mentality standpoint, but I highly doubt that’s where the writers would go.

- Leah is in Season 11, but she dies - I know some folks have said this before, and I get it. Some of us are so done with the drama, we’re just thinking the worst case scenario at this point. What if Leah comes back and Daryl’s all happy and thinks that he’ll spend the rest of his life with her but then Leah dies somehow and he decides to go on a roadtrip with Carol to help with his man pain. I know some peeps feel like that would happen, but in my opinion, I really don’t think so. Angela Kang does have a lot of respect for Daryl and Carol (I know we don’t feel that way right now b/c of 10x18 but bear with me), as she’s said that this is about their story and their journey I really don’t think she would have the story go as low and as misogynistic as that. I honestly don’t.

Now these next two theories are the ones that I believe have a much higher chance of happening in season 11:

2). Leah is in Season 11, and is a part of the new antagonist group (Reapers) - So it wouldn’t be a season of the walking dead without some sort of antagonist being around. The Reapers have already made their presence known with the first extra episode, and I’m sure is going to cause issues throughout the season. An interesting theory that I’m a fan of that people have thought up already is that Leah is part of the Reapers. Whether she’s the leader or one of the followers, it doesn’t really matter, for she’s still a plot device for Daryl. 

The current fantasy I’m having is that Leah comes back and tries to get close to Daryl, which Daryl isn’t necessarily against but is still wary. But then Carol notices things about Leah and catches her doing stuff and she’s like “wtf?” and she tells Daryl her concerns but he brushes her off because he doesn’t trust her judgment very much right now. Most ASZ peeps think Leah is a good person but Carol’s like “mehhh something’s off”. Then the reveal happens where Leah is a double agent of sorts and betrays them all by having the Reapers infiltrating Alexandria or some crazy shit like that. Then it looks like she kills Carol in some way and Daryl’s absolutely gut wrenched because his Carol just died at the hands of his crazy ex girlfriend that he believed more than his best friend and what the fuck is wrong with him?? But then Carol comes back and butchers the Reapers cause she’s a goddamn queen and Daryl looks at her like she could fart fairy dust and gives the biggest smile we’ve ever seen him give on the show. Then he hugs her fiercely and starts sobbing, telling her how sorry he was and how relieved he was at her being alive and... same old story that’s happened on MULTIPLE occasions with other shows and books.

Now considering how Leah is made out to be in 10x18, I would say this theory is ‘less likely’ than what I thought it would be originally, but there’s still a decent chance. I don’t think Leah’s a cold blooded/narcissist, but it’s possible she could get roped up with the Reapers... and lets face it, Daryl isn’t the same person from who he was in the woods, so there’s a good chance she won’t be either when she comes back.

3). Leah is in Season 11, and pushes for a relationship with Daryl - Admittedly, this one would hurt to watch, but I think it’s a fair possibility we can’t rule out. Daryl is arguably at a better headspace now than he was way back when in the woods, and he knows he belongs with his family. But then Leah shows up and wants to start things over with him, and it could go multiple ways. He could realize right away that he doesn’t want that, and maybe he and Leah both get closer together. Or maybe he will give it a try for old times sake, but then he realizes that she’s not the person she was, or whom he thought she was, and they’re not actually a good pairing, and then he realizes “you know who I really want? That grey haired queen”... it would probably more emotional than that though.

I mean, we’ve all been there. We break up from a long term partner and it hurts like hell but we heal and we’re stronger for it. But then the ex comes back and is wanting to be with you again, and you’re at the very least tempted to give it a go b/c you were happy with them at one point. But then you’re with them and you realize that maybe this wasn’t a good idea, and maybe you should’ve listened to your goddamn gut all along b/c it was warning you that there’s a reason why it didn’t work out the first time.

Arguably, this theory would be more satisfying than the last one, because it would be Daryl who would choose who he would want to be with in the end. Think about it. We were initially bummed that Ezekiel wasn’t going to get his comic death in season 9 (and of course we were pissed about Henry), but then it turned out for the better because Carol willingly chose to leave him instead of being forced out of the relationship via death. So for Daryl to choose Carol over Leah in the end would be incredibly satisfying, albeit looooong overdue...

I still very much think Caryl is endgame despite the tough road we’re facing. I know folks are taking this last hurdle really hard because it’s been ingrained in our heads that Daryl is a “one woman kind of guy”, but... maybe that’s still the case. Maybe his heart is a “one woman kind of organ”, but Daryl’s been able to move past his traumas enough to be physical with more than one person. At least that’s how I’m seeing things at the moment. Obviously, it’s not good taste to go completely backwards on what is “known” about a character and assume that the audience would catch on as to why it would happen (like how Daryl reading the “children of abuse” book was never addressed in the show, but we’re having to assume he did b/c Norman said he did). Hoping the audience assumes the things that the writers are thinking of has always been an ongoing issue with TWD, so this whole shindig wasn’t necessarily surprising to me.

Anyways, that’s my two cents on things. I still think they’ll happen, and I still trust Kang. I’m just thinking of this as just the angsty part of a fanfic that I love and adore, and I just have to grit my teeth and wait for the author to finish writing the next chapter before hauling ass to my computer to see the update and breaking my desktop in the process. We’ll get to the healing part, I promise.

And if the spin is anything like the playful banter between them in this episode (albeit more mutual and fun), then sign me the fuck up and let me be a voyeur in their passionate travels.

Cheers my loves! 

[danzinora-switch]

A Moment for the Personal

So, I’ve been debating for a long time whether or not to share anything here. Is this a writing update? Life update? PSA? Vent/rant/catharsis/inspiring memoir? I have no idea, I just feel the need to get it off my chest.

One of the reasons my writing has slowed down this summer is due to some strong instances surrounding part of my identity. I’m aroace, and while for the most part I just go on living life there were some encounters that really, really, highlighted that difference. Nothing negative or positive, just neutral happenings that threw it into sharp perspective. I am definitely aromantic. I am definitely asexual.

And normally I revel in being different. Why follow the crowd? Why try to fit in? But my ability to revel in this experience was... very limited. There’s no aroace power ballad I can blast in my car. There’s not really an aroace TV show I can watch. There are so few aroace characters out there, and there are fewer aroace stories. So I’d get frustrated and disappointed and feel different... which would make me want to revel in the difference... which would lead back to being unable to... spiral, spiral, etc. etc.

I got in a real funk.

I got out of the funk through having these honest conversations with my friends, and sharing my fears that one day everyone will pair off and leave me second best. And I love my friends to death because they put that to rest. “You will NEVER be second best,” said my college friend to me. 

And about a week later one of my good friends here and I had a full, out of the blue, conversation ABOUT the friendship and how much it means to both of us. This wasn’t prompted by me. He just started talking and the timing was perfect and I think about that conversation all the time because my god, we’re on the same page. We both value and cherish each other and what we have deeply: and it’s non-sexual, non-romantic. I’m ace, he’s gay, it’s going to stay that way. 

Throughout all of this; the funk, the resurrection, even now, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about friendships and the importance and value of platonic bonds and how much they mean to me. I’ve been filled with this craving to see/show/share this kind of love more: on screen, in books, online, etc. After my TMNT series ends, I believe this is what I will work on next. Craft some kind of narrative to emphasize that FRIENDSHIP - this platonic form of love - is real and just as important as romantic and familial love. It’s been weighing on my heart a lot, especially as I deepen my current friendships (especially with my guy friends; because it’s been too long since a man and a woman could be meaningful friends in fiction).

I want that, I have that, I want more of it.

And not just of the ace/aro perspectives; but in general. I feel we deeply need to see more strong, healthy, friendships that are valued as #1 in media, and talk about it in real life. I can’t stop thinking about it.

This whole post isn’t a plug; it’s an honest confession I just want to get out there. But last night I re-stumbled upon this: http://kck.st/3xWNtBg

Dear Luke, Love, Me

It’s an honest-to-god film about a non-sexual relationship between a man and a woman as they face pressures from society to be “normal”. Talk about TIMING...

They haven’t met their crowdfunding goal yet, but holy cow I need them to. I feel this ache in my soul to see and talk about what I experience, and what it means. I haven’t felt this way since the #saverottmnt campaign began. They have until September 18th to meet their goals, and anything helps.

So baby aces, baby aros, everyone out there, really. Tell your friends you love ‘em. Life is short, and no one should be taken for granted. And if you have the same fears I did, talk about them. Good friends listen, great friends get you out of that headspace. We’re not going to die alone. We’re not going to age helplessly. We’re going to remember that love hath none greater than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s FRIENDS.

[fanficshiddles]

Don’t Disobey, Chapter 1 (READ THE WARNINGS!!!)

Summary: Loki’s attack on Midgard was a success. He’s become ruler of Earth, over all the mortals. The Avengers were defeated. Over time he’s taken over every country and city. Now he’s going for the smaller towns and villages to conquer, recruiting strong men for his army and beautiful young women to be his sex slaves.

Ivy is captured amongst some other girls. She is smart and knows from the tales of Loki’s palace that it is best to behave to survive. But being a good girl quickly makes her Loki’s favourite. And being his favourite is not going to be easy for Ivy.

WARNINGS: RAPE/NON-CON, VIOLENCE, MURDER, KIDNAPPING, SEX SLAVES, IRON BRANDING, CUTTING OFF TONGUES, CHOKING, OVER STIMULATION, FORCED TATTOOS, BREAKING BONES. (I’ll add more on future chapters as I go) 

Loki is not nice in this fic! There is no happy ending where he turns soft and falls in love for the OC. In-case that’s what anyone is looking for. I dunno why, I was just craving some really nasty Loki… See how far I could go with it… It’s a long chapter, in my standards anyway. But this fic won’t be updated as often as the others, but I think this fic will only have maybe five or so chapters, if that… But who knows. Gotta be in the right headspace for this! Lol.

-

Ivy was shaking badly as she was marched into the castle. Taken from her village along with some other young women, they were flown over to where Loki had taken up residence in Prague castle. It being to his liking the most out of all of Earths castles… A few adjustments here and there to make it even more extravagant and he now called it home.

Loki’s rule of Earth had devastated everyone. For reasons unknown to the humans, he wasn’t very sparing of lives. Thousands and thousands of people had been murdered within the first year for things as small as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone in prison had been culled off, along with elders in care homes and sick people in hospitals of all ages.

The internet was monitored constantly, anyone saying anything slightly bad about Loki was hunted down and slaughtered. He had eyes everywhere.

One of the first laws brought in was couples weren’t allowed to have more than one child. It was clear that Loki was trying to lessen the human population. But what the humans didn’t know, was it was the only condition from Thanos for Loki’s rule. To thin out the herd.

The group of women were taken straight to Loki, who was in the throne room. He was sat on his throne, legs splayed like he owned the place… Well, the whole damn world for that matter.

His horned helmet caused a huge and terrifying shadow behind him from the lights, some of the girls started panicking and tried to back up, but the guards surrounded them and wouldn’t allow them to leave.

Ivy remained near the front, arms wrapped around herself as she shook on the spot. She kept her eyes down, especially when she heard Loki get up from his throne and make his way down the steps towards them all.

The guards pushed at the girls, getting them to line up just as Loki reached them.

‘Well, what have we here? New toys for me to play with, how delightful.’ Loki grinned and started at one end, looking the girl up and down.

‘Too old.’ The woman was grabbed roughly and dragged away as Loki took a step down the line to the second girl.

‘Too skinny, she would break far too easily for what I have in store.’ He flicked his hand to dismiss her. She was also dragged away. To god knows where, Ivy dreaded to think.

The third girl looked defiantly up at him, nose scrunched up. ‘You will NEVER be my King!’ She spat at him, shocking everyone but Loki. The guards went to move in, but Loki swiftly grabbed her face as he leaned down towards her, sneering.

‘You dare talk at your King like that.’ He squeezed her cheeks hard, making her open her mouth as she cried out in pain. Loki quickly grabbed her tongue and hauled it out as far as it would go, then as quick as lightning he cut it off with his dagger.

The girl fell to the ground in agony, clutching at her mouth. Tears streamed down her face but she couldn’t make much noise at the loss of her tongue.

The other girls, including Ivy, cried out in fear upon seeing the girls tongue land on the floor on front of them. But Ivy quickly closed her eyes and kept herself in check, while the others kept crying and trying to get away.

Loki looked along the line, smirking at their reactions. ‘Let this be a lesson to you girls. Under my rule there are consequences for your actions.’ He started walking down the line as he spoke. ‘There are also rewards for good behaviour, so you best choose wisely how you proceed.’

Ivy couldn’t take it anymore. She was so scared for her life. Hearing all the rumours before about being under Loki’s command, she knew she just had to try and survive. That was the only goal here.

So she sank to her knees on front of him, head down in respect.

Loki had just passed her, but he stopped when he saw the girl falling to her knees before him. He took slow, menacing steps back towards her until he towered over her. Ivy could see his boots appear in her line of vision.

He reached down and smoothed his hand through her hair, his touch making her jump at first, though it seemed gentle… But then he gripped hold of it tightly and yanked her head right back so she was to look up at his face.

His rather beautiful features caught her off guard for a second. But being a God, it wasn’t surprising he was handsome. It was just such a shame his personality was so cruel.

‘What’s your name?’ He asked, eyeing her up carefully.

‘I… Ivy… My King.’ She whimpered, her lower lip trembling.

‘Ivy.’ Her name rolled off his tongue. He released her hair and took a step backwards. ‘Everyone could take a leaf out of Ivy’s book… Smart girl, knows her place in this world.’ He said as he glanced back down at her. Then he looked to his guards. ‘Take her to my chambers.’

A guard grabbed her arm and led her away. She didn’t look over her shoulder when she heard one of the other girls starting to cry hysterically, but was quickly silenced. How, she dreaded to think.

Being captured by Loki was not the time nor the place to make friends, or to even look out for established friends. It was every woman for herself now.

And Ivy knew she had to be selfish and look out for number one.

-

Loki waltzed into his quarters and to his harem of girls.

All of them cowered and tried to avoid eye contact when he entered. Some of them scurried off into other rooms, while others continued with the chores of keeping the place tidy.

‘Where is my new girl?’ Loki asked the girl nearest him.

‘Awaiting you in your chambers, Sir.’ The girl said with her head down.

Loki nodded, then looked her up and down. ‘Turn.’ He swivelled his finger around.

The girl looked absolutely petrified, but she turned around for him. His hand shot out and he gripped her shoulder tightly, stopping her as he looked down at her backside.

‘Where’s your plug?’ He asked, his tone rising.

‘I… I’m sorry, Sir… I… I had to take it out when I went to the toilet… I couldn’t get it back in… I’m so sorry.’ She started sobbing.

Loki grabbed her hair tightly and pulled her across the room, she struggled to keep up with him and fell to the ground, but was dragged along by her hair as Loki was on a mission. The other girls around looked on, but didn’t do anything to help. Knowing better.

She was dragged over to the fire place, Loki hauled her on front of it and pushed her down onto her stomach. He put his foot on her lower back to keep her in place when she tried to crawl away. ‘Stay there!’ He snarled.

The girl begged and cried for his forgiveness, continuously struggled underneath him. He pushed down firmer on her back, making her yelp in pain.

He grabbed the branding iron from beside the fireplace and placed it right into the fire, heating it up nicely until it was scalding hot. The girl could hear the sizzling as he drew it closer towards her. She struggled anew, screaming so loudly that it could be heard throughout his quarters.

And that was before it had even touched her.

Loki clicked his fingers and a ball gag was placed into her mouth to shut her up a bit. But as he pressed the iron brand against her backside, it didn’t do much to drown out her screams of pain.

Ivy started shaking all over again when she heard the painful screams of another girl in the main room. She tried to block it out, closing her eyes and head down. She had been told by a guard how to be ready for Loki’s arrival in his room. To be naked and kneeling on the floor, hands behind her back.

But even though she knew she was doing what she was told, it still hadn’t prepared her for when she heard the heavy foot-steps of Loki coming into the room. And the click from the door as it was closed made her blood run cold. She knew that meant it was just her and him in the room… All alone.

Loki hummed in approval as he looked over his new play thing. She seemed obedient, which was good. Better behaved than any other girls so far, none had ever knelt for him without him telling them to upon first meeting.

His helmet vanished and so did his heavy armour, leaving just the underlay. He strolled over to Ivy and circled her, taking in every part of her. He could see her trembling in his presence, that made him smirk.

He reached out and cupped her chin, making her look up at him, her eyes were skittish as she looked up at him. A small whimper of fear escaped from her lips, she had been unable to contain it.

‘Shhh, shhh.’ He soothed, brushing his thumb up and down her cheek. ‘We both know that you’re a clever girl. If you do exactly as you are told, you will have no reason to fear me.’ Loki spoke calmly, almost putting her at ease. But she knew better.

‘There are rules here, you should know.’ He let go of her chin and stood up straight, she put her head down again, looking to the floor.

‘You are to address me as Sir, unless I state otherwise. I do not accept no as an answer, ever. I don’t want to hear that word from your lips, under any circumstance. You are not to wear clothes again, aside from on me they are banished in these quarters.’ He walked over to a dresser and opened it, pulling out some rope. ‘You can converse with the other girls, aside from when I am in the same room, then I demand utter silence from you unless answering a question from me.’ He crossed the room towards Ivy and moved behind her, he tied her wrists together at her back as he continued. ‘I don’t mind if you girls want to play around with one another, providing there is not a single mark on any of you that wasn’t put there by me.’ He leaned down so she could feel his breath against her ear. ‘Do I make myself clear?’

She swallowed hard before answering. ‘Yes, Sir.’ She said quietly.

‘Good girl.’ Loki purred, kissing her shoulder. ‘Now, I am going to mark you, as all my girls get when they arrive. Usually there is a trial period, but I have a good feeling about you.’ He gave her head a pat and then took hold of her bound hands to lift her up to her feet.

He walked her over to his bed and lay her down on her front.

‘I am not a beginner when it comes to restraining girls, so don’t think for a second I won’t do it if I have to. But I prefer submission, so you will remain still until told otherwise.’ He said as he got on the bed too, straddling over her lower legs.

Ivy had no idea what to expect, but she was bloody terrified. Not wanting to make him angry, she was going to do her best to remain still…

But then the pain started.

Using his Seidr, Loki was giving her a permanent tattoo on her lower back. Simply using his finger, though it felt exactly like a tattoo gun. But more painful.

She bit down on the quilt underneath her, hoping she wouldn’t get into trouble for it. But it helped her to focus on something other than screaming in pain.

Loki noticed her hands clench into fists. She jerked a little, but remained rather still. The most still he’d seen a girl stay when applying his tattoo. Yes, this one was going to be good. He was excited to start playing with her, see how responsive she was and what she could do.

But he had a feeling she was going to be exquisite. Her submission already, clearly from a place of fear, was highly arousing. He had been sporting a hard on ever since she knelt for him in the throne room.

After carving his name into her, to be there forever, he was pleased with how she’d taken it. She was in tears, but the noises from her had been minimal. He had noticed her biting the quilt, letting small whimpers of pain escape but nothing more.

That pleased him greatly.

He ran his hand over her lower back, growling deep in approval. But he wanted her to see it. He wanted her to see that she was now his property.

Getting off the bed, he snapped his fingers to get her attention. ‘Come on, up.’

She hurriedly got up, albeit awkwardly because of her hands still being restrained behind her, and slipped off the bed to stand on front of him.

He turned her around and walked her over to a full-length mirror. He then had another appear behind her, at the right angle so she could see her back. He stood to the side, watching for her reaction as she looked at her new tattoo.

First, surprise crossed her features, then fear, and then she looked kind of intrigued. No doubt at how he managed to do that without a tattoo gun.

‘You belong to me now, pet.’ He said darkly, having the second mirror vanish he moved in behind her and ran his hand down her spine, stroking his name again. Then he moved in close, she saw him looming over her in the mirror, so much bigger than she was. He practically enveloped her entirely.

‘What do you think of your tattoo? Hmm?’ He reached around and started stroking her body, over her stomach and upwards, fondling at her breasts in turn while he waited an answer.

‘If… If you are happy with it, Sir… Then I am too.’ She whispered, trying not to cry as he started stroking her nipples that were hardening under his touch, much to her embarrassment.

Loki smirked, clever indeed. Picking her responses carefully, hoping to please him. He liked that.

‘Have you been shown around my quarters? Where you’re allowed to roam?’ He asked, his hands falling from her body.  

‘No, Sir.’ She said quietly, shaking her head.

‘Come then, let me show you around before we play.’ He turned on his heels and headed for the door. Ivy scurried after him, having to take quicker steps to keep up with his long legs.

She felt very self-conscious being naked, not only around Loki but around the other girls too. Though they were all naked as well, so at least that levelled out the playing field.

Loki made sure she was following him and he showed her throughout his quarters. There was one room she wasn’t allowed in unless she was with him. But he showed her into it just now anyway. But her eyes widened when the door swung open and it was filled with various machines and contraptions, they all looked like torture devices in some way.

But in the middle of the room, on a Sybian machine, restrained and going nowhere, was a young woman. She was completely limp as the machine buzzed like mad underneath her, a vibe was nestled inside of her cunt and a part of it was covering her clit. It was relentless and she was completely overstimulated, it was agony.

‘Oh, so sorry dear. I forgot I’d tied you here last night.’ Loki said with a slight chuckle as he walked over to the girl and turned the machine off.

There was drool coming from her leather gag, it was soaked through. And there was a mess of excreta and arousal all down the Sybian and on the floor.

‘What a mess you’ve made.’ Loki chastised. As soon as he untied her wrists that had been tied behind her and to the wall, to keep her upright on the machine, she fell forward to the floor. Loki tsked in annoyance and nudged her with his foot. But she was completely out of it, being stuck on the machine for near twenty-four hours had broken her. She couldn’t even feel her clit anymore, likely so much nerve damage after having many orgasms forced from her and enjoying it at first.

Ivy swallowed hard and tried her best to get rid of the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

‘GIRLS!’ Loki yelled and soon two girls came running to see what he wanted.

‘Get her out of here and cleaned up. Then get this mess cleaned up too, if it’s not sorted within ten minutes, I will tie each of you to this machine for longer than she had.’ He said in warning.

The two girls squeaked in fear and quickly got to work.

Loki saw the colour had drained from Ivy’s face, making him grin. He walked back over to her with a predatory look and put his arm around her, leading her out and back towards his bedroom.

‘Come, pet. I want to see what fun I can have with you.’

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.