#I just like. can't sit quietly
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social-mockingbird · 1 year ago
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I work in an office setting, but I also talk to myself a lot, which means I will catch myself quietly saying, “that’s company policy, baby, bada-bing-bada-boom, I’m walkin’ here” and only then recall that my door is open and people can theoretically hear me
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littlespoonevan · 8 months ago
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basically for s2&3 i was always 'buck will realise his feelings first while eddie remains oblivious' but after the shooting and what we got in s5&6 i was ALL IN for eddie realising his feelings first while buck was nonethewiser only for them to hit him like a freight train later on but Now i have no idea and i'm confused so tell me your thoughts so i can write a fic lol
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jichanxo · 5 months ago
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sunday six!
hello sunday six nation! o7 @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22
tried writing an alternate kuwagami first meeting for funsies! not sure where i'm going with it, but it's been good fun! (ignores all my other wips)
Yagami looked at the drone photos Kaito sent through minutes ago. “He should be back soon. You can take a seat, I suppose.” 
The other man didn’t, approaching his desk, leaning against it and giving Yagami a look. “You here often?” 
Yagami didn’t glance away from his computer screen. “This is my office.” 
“Oh. You must be the all important Yagami that gets put on the sign outside and everything. Nice place.” He smiled, not seeming to look at the office at all. Yagami bit the inside of his cheek and tried not to give the man any attention. Couldn’t he see he was working, here? 
“You know, I’m something of a freelancer myself.” He continued, pulling a card from his jacket and placing it on the table. “Not from around here though. Visiting from Ijincho.” 
“Uh huh.” Yagami didn’t touch the card. “You know, Kaito-san might be off the clock soon, but I’m not. If you’re gonna wait here, I’d appreciate it if you just sat down.” And shut up. 
The man seemed to catch his meaning, silent for a moment. “Anyway, as I was getting to, the name's Kuwana. Nice to meet you.” 
“Great. Sit down, Kuwana-san.” 
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stardustedknuckles · 8 months ago
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"I feel like the thoughts have always been there, but they're just so easy to recall now."
Beau getting that headband of intellect really was just "woe, arcane Ritalin be upon you" huh.
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agendratum · 3 months ago
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#me quietly to myself: am i finally ready... to follow the skz people blogs I've been living at for at least a year now anyway?..#I'm with my usual bullshit pay me no mind#people who already know know ajhsjd#this thing where i can't follow new people because the dash seems overwhelming as it is#(and by new people i mean people whose blogs I've been visiting daily for a year yes)#and recently yes im feeling like my dash is actually a bit overwhelming#i sometimes can't even catch up with it after i wake up (a thing that is normal to want and possible to archive)#but also im literally like at the skz people's territory all day every day#spending more time over there than on my dash#like maybe it's time#besides today with the livestream and everything#i was sitting there so cozy thinking like ah we're watching this together it's so nice#the only thing that would make the experience better is me actually FOLLOWING PEOPLE#anyway I'll sleep on it and like again pay me no mind this is the brain issues i just seem to have#still such a funny problem to have#as far as I'm concerned most people on tumblr follow so many more blogs#and i get overwhelmed with just a few#you'd think I'm not having fun on here but thats not true#but i am in fact always have more fun on here when i manage to psspspsp someone with the same interest#i love tags reblogs replies i love these interactions#and the funny little follow button makes all this so muuuuch easier#alas the brain bugs that are eating my brain are never asleep#but still I'm gonna go sleep and im gonna just be chill about all this#thanks for coming to the least making sense ted talk#chattering
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abutterflyobsession · 2 years ago
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my dad about to accidentally inflict deep and lasting emotional scars on his young children: here’s a movie by the same people who made Totoro! It’s called Grave of the Fireflies
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selfshippinglover · 3 months ago
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Vent ignore
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emdotcom · 5 months ago
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My infatuation & subsequent obsession with media is often tied to the ways in which I am incapable of talking about them. Whether it's because of the abhorrent contents therein which demand too much; the incomprehensible nature of my feelings on the matter; the shoddy & underbaked construction; no matter what, there is always something within all my beloved interests make them hard (or even impossible) to talk about. Instead, I talk within myself in an endless echo of speculation & alteration, as a means to replicate the sounds of a room that is not so empty. I, on my own, (no matter how many of me I am in the moment,) will never be able to fully encapsulate the sounds of a room brimming with people, though, so I double down & try to chatter more, to make up my impossible deficit.
#em.txt#this was gonna have a conclusion but I don't have a good one.#because it's just an observation.#i love elfen lied. i would like to reccomend it to people but I don't feel comfortable doing so due to its content#i love bendy. I can't reccomend it to people because what's worth loving is found more in conversations you need to already#have a starting amount of knowledge on & there's no real means of being introduced into it if you have decent standards#i love blackjack. it was made in the 70s & it has SO many problems in it & it's good that that shit isn't perpetuated by a living fandom#but i still like it & i still wish i could talk about it#i love. post shift 2. the encyclopedic nature of its tutorials & odd mechanics are the very draw that make it so compelling to me#but to my knowledge are not made intentionally so -- they are overwhelming because a dev worked with these ideas for 4 years#until they no longer seemed hard to grasp to him & he simply couldn't see how intensive the draw is on somebody outside his own mind#until fnyaf fans clammored around this game he made & lauded it as a trainwreck until he quietly gave it away#to someone else to fix in his stead because he no longer trusted himself to make it into what people wanted.#picking apart the text was not an intended as a challenge but as a fellow bitch that fails to communicate#that requires a certain amount of looking behind or around words to be understood#i find the confusing way some of these details are transcribed to be so incredibly human.#but i see & understand why people hate the tutorials. i just think they have a different definition of fun than i do.#idk. Freddy's fans will sit down & digest like. midnight motorist or some shite but not night 1 ps2? why?
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sysig · 1 year ago
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Like a dream (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#The latest reread really brought up some Feelings I wasn't expecting lol ♪ I thought I'd gotten them all out before but nope! New thoughts!#I love Max as a character quite a lot - he's a mess in so many ways and I really find him interesting!#He's probably one of the few characters that I actually have a ''Please for the love of god take him out of situations for once'' feeling#Everyone else I'm constantly like ''Make them sufferrrrr'' which I mean - I'm not about to say I don't also feel that way A Little to him#The proportions are different! That's all ♪#He's just fjdsalfd he was failed on so many levels! Repeatedly! Despite how much of his pain is self-inflicted I can't help feeling bad ♥#Max is not a good person! But I really think he could've been and the potential of exploring that gives me Feelings#Like what kind of environment would be good for him ♫ What kind of life would cultivate him#My brain immediately went to a scenic coastal village where he and Dex can eat fresh fish and work for dinner money and bicycle hehe#And sleep together in worn sheets <3 It's not fancy but it's theirs#But of course their story is a tragedy#The saddest part really is that Max was doomed from the beginning#Even if Dexter had taken him away - he really never would have though would he ♥ - but even if he had#Even if he had gotten clean and started to make a life for himself it never would've mattered because he's still not Max in there anymore#The thought of them escaping and everything being quietly blissful and Dex comes back to a Max sitting on their - /their/ bed#Just staring at his hands and smiling back at him#Hhhhhhhhh there's a lot of feelings <3 <3
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softquietsteadylove · 2 years ago
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A Thenamesh Gladiator AU!
there are a few kingdoms. And every kingdom has 3 strong gladiators. And I think once a week or once a month there is this big competition between the kingdoms. And the winner gets a big price. So Thena is a princess in her Kingdom and Gil is one of her Gladiators. And she has a crush on him.
One day the Kingdom of Eros challenges Thenas, if he wins the competition she will marry him. If she wins she can choose who she wants to marry.
"Fetch my mother, tell her he has awakened."
"Yes, my Lady."
Gilgamesh groaned as he did his best to pull himself up on the cot provided to him. All he remembered was the last fight dragging on for far too long. The opposing gladiators were freakishly strong this year. Even he was having trouble with them. Gil startled, "d-did I lose?!"
"No," she soothed, kneeling down on a pillow next to his cot. She raised up a bowl, tilting his head to offer him water. "You won."
He let out a sigh, the relief reaching so deep it was in his bones. He was a champion of plenty of tournaments before this one, but losing this time especially was not acceptable.
"But I want you to forfeit."
Now he did shoot up in bed, although his bones and wounds screamed at him for it. He doubled over, holding his bruised ribs. His hand met bandaging, which still had some traces of blood on them.
"You see?"
Oh, did he. It seemed whenever they were together, all he could see was her: Thena.
"You were lucky to emerge alive after your last fight," she frowned at him, sitting back on her knees on the pillow (which she must have moved to his bedside herself). "If mother were not the master healer she is, I'm sure you would be in the same state as your opponent."
Gil had no sympathy for his opponent--not for the gladiators chosen by the visiting prince, nor Eros himself. He was the very reason Gilgamesh had to fight harder than ever before. "Princess-"
"Gilgamesh, I am quite serious," she persisted, pinning him under her glare, as green as the Adriatic Sea. "You are in no state to fight Kro."
Kro was quickly becoming a name in this tournament as Prince Eros' champion. He was also becoming known for his cruelty in battle.
"I'll get some sleep and I'll be fine."
"You could sleep for a month and not be ready to fight that monster," Thena argued, setting down her ceramic of water rather roughly.
Gil raised his brow at her, "I didn't realise you lacked faith in me, my Lady."
"Gil," she cut him off, and his given name was effective in silencing him. Her hands fisted in the fine, draping white fabric of her dress. "That man is a creature not of man's make. He...he will kill you. And he will make me watch."
"Hey, hey," Gil shook his head, rushing to comfort the shaken princess. He had seen her worry about him before, but he had never seen her so genuinely frightful. "That won't happen. I won't let it."
Thena lifted her head, looking at him with those eyes again. "And are you so omniscient? That you could control a man without honour or even a human heart in his chest?"
Gil sighed. His poetic princess was right, he couldn't guarantee that the fight tomorrow would go his way. He was not only exhausted and injured, but he was emotionally invested. And any expert on battle would say that it was a weakness for him to bear, not a strength.
"Please," Thena whispered, looking down at her trembling hands. She squeezed her eyes shut, a tear falling onto her robes. "I don't want you to get hurt, Gil. I-I couldn't bear it if you were..."
It was a funny conflict of feelings, feeling overjoyed that she would care so much as to weep over him, but not wanting to see her weep at all. He reached out, tipping her chin up to look at him. "Do you remember when we first met?"
She smiled, blinking away tears a princess couldn't afford to shed. "You were walking into the Colosseum. Plenty of gladiators had looked up at us before, but you smiled, and then you waved. I suppose I found it too tempting to resist waving back."
Gil smiled as well. He did treasure that memory; the first instance in which he had seen the Thena behind the crown. And he liked what he saw. "No, I mean the next time--when we met properly."
It had been after his first fight. He was arguably the strongest of the new gladiators in training, but initiation was also to fight a lion. He had not exactly come out unscathed.
But he had also refused to kill the lion. It was cruel and barbaric he stated proudly. It wasn't that poor creature's fault that it had been captured, now forced to fight off strange men for its meals.
Thena had been the one to declare the end of that practice. She had ordered the lion's release, as well as the tending of Gilgamesh's wounds. It was then that he had first spoken to her. He was being tended to a cot much like the one he was lying on now.
The glowing princess had knelt down, as close to him as the bars separating them would allow. She was royalty, and to be so close to a lowly trainee would be beneath her, after all. But he had watched her raise two fingers, hooking them over one of the gate bars tenderly.
"Are you hurt?"
Every time hearing her voice was like hearing it that first time; he never tired of it.
"Nah," he had chuckled, taking on such a casual tone with the princess that the medics tending to him had gasped in horror. "Not so bad."
But she had smiled.
Thena looked up at him now, a long way from that first night she knelt by his side in the bowels of the Colosseum. "I asked what I might do to help your healing."
"And I said?" he raised a brow at her, still relishing the feeling of her skin against his thumb.
Thena dropped her eyes, offering exasperation with her reluctant smile. It was faint, but it was true. "My smile was help enough."
"See?" he chuckled, letting his fingers pull away from her oh-so reluctantly. Maybe he could keep the feeling of touching her in his mind as motivation. "I'll be better before you know it."
She shook her head at him, her golden locks tousling beautifully around her shoulders. "Mother will not let you go back into battle because of a smile."
"And I'm not going to let that ingrate marry you."
Thena sighed, as if she could have somehow forgotten about the outlandish circumstances of this year's prize. Her hands folded on her lap again. "I suppose I have no desire to fulfill that agreement either."
"So it's decided," Gilgamesh said with absolute certainty, regardless of the pain in his side or the burn of his hands from gripping his sword. "I'll fight tomorrow. And I'll win."
Thena stared down between them, neither agreeing nor having another argument in her against it.
"I'll win, Thena," he insisted, reaching down to take one of her hands in his. The golden bangles around her delicate wrists clinked in contrast to the leather guards that sat around his. "I promise you. You'll be no one's prize."
She managed another smile, giving his hand the faintest squeeze in return. "Are you saying I am no prize?"
Gil inhaled. He knew that she was offering a joke to lighten his mood in return. But he couldn't resist; he raised her hand to his lips. "No, you are not the prize. The prize is getting to live, just so I can see that smile another day."
The princess stared at him, silent after a little poetry of his own. "Gil-"
"Gilgamesh," the queen greeted as she walked in, although she blinked when her daughter rushed to stand so quickly she swayed to gain her balance. Ajak tilted her head, "Thena."
"Mother," Thena greeted her, sounding breathless as if she had run here as well. Her hand toyed with her luxurious golden hair. "I was--we were awaiting your arrival."
"Right," Ajak muttered, going to the gladiator's side to check his wounds. There was already a pillow at his bedside (how convenient).
Thena watched quietly, her hands perched on the edge of the cot.
Ajak kept quiet as Gilgamesh's fingers snuck ever so subtly over to just barely brush against Thena's. She could choose to ask them about it, if she so desired. She was the queen, after all. And she had witnessed her daughter's fondness for this warrior in particular before.
But hopefully the fight tomorrow would go well. And she would have to be silent no longer about Thena's obvious love for the Champion Gladiator.
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qsmprambling · 1 year ago
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Admins please give Bad some lore he's so bored he's gonna literally join the Federation 😆
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angelicxi · 11 months ago
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idk how many more que sera sera i got in me in boss
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brainfullofbees · 1 year ago
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#can i be so fucking honest right now#being like the only one in my friend group who doesn't do or even want to try drugs is so fucking isolating#i don't even want to be around it but i can't fucking escape it#they're constantly getting high before or while we hang out and i'm so tired#like we planned to hang out this past weekend and of course i get there and one of them is high and all they wanted to do was sit and#quietly watch always sunny#like. thanks. i barely get to see you guys and the one night in like 3 months i do we don't even get to talk really. cool#and then their parents and parents' friends were smoking in the living room all night as well#and nobody thought to fucking warn me about this even though they know about my shit fuck brain#and then like. the other times when i've made plans with someone and they've bailed because they wanna go drink and get high#thanks i'm glad i'm so fucking boring to you#i don't get to go to a lot of get togethers anymore because they're full of drunk and/or high people#and i'm just. tired.#sick of my shitty fucking brain that doesn't let me chill#sick of feeling like i'm bringing people down and stopping them from having fun#because i don't want to spoil their fun. i want them to be happy#i just. idk. sometimes i really feel like they don't want to invite me out specifically because of this#like i miss out on so much because i have big anxiety about drugs#it's tiring and i'm tired and sad and angry at myself and. idk#today's been. a day i guess
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fantabulisticity · 1 year ago
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Waiting in the airport for 2 hours and someone is fucking C R U N C H I N G behind me and I am going to DIE
#it's okay i got my headphones out. and they're crunching semi-quietly but like. doing it SO SLOWLY so the sound takes as much time as...#...possible and they do it with their whole ass mouth OPEN so it fucking ECHOES in there and i can hear EVERYTHING#i fucking HATE it#but like. bro. if you're going to eat something crunchy in a place like an airport gate where I LITERALLT CANNOT FUCKING LEAVE#PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAE PLEASE PLEASE DO IT WITH YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH CLOSED#AND DO IT AWAY FEOM ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#personal#misophonia#food#eating#okay nvm it's NOT okay bc between songs i can hear them SMACKING THEIR WHOLE FUCKING MOUTH WETLY IN THE OPENEST WAY POSSIBLE#STOOOOOOOOOOOP MAKING LOUD ASS WET ASS FUCKING EATING NOISES IN CLOSED SPACES WHERE PEOPLE CAN'T LEAVE. DON'T FUCKING DO IT. LEAVE ME THE..#...FUCK ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#when i eat around people i do it motherfucking QUIETLY and with my mouth MOTHERFUCKING CLOSED THE WHOLE TIME. YOU DON'T NEED TO OPEN IT...#...ALL THE DAMN TIME. JUST LEAVE IT FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING CLOSED YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE#and now someone is coughing/clearing their throat every 60 seconds. i'm in hell.#WHY CAN'T I JUST SIT HERE IN PEACE.#he just did it again.#into his hand.#okay edit -- i found a table away from those guys and turned my music up as much as i can without hurting my ears#well. not acutely hurting my ears but like. definitely not good for my hearing. just not like. actively painful.
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rubberbandballqueen · 1 year ago
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a kid at work was like "look at my stuffed animal!!" and i was like "ooooo" bc i love soft things n then she was like "would you like to hold it?" n i was like "BOY WOULD I!!" n then she was like "but he's been injured so i put a band-aid on him" n i was like "oh does he need to be sewn up?" expecting this child to have been like me n just put band-aids on her stuffed animals For Funsoes but then she was like "yeah :(" and showed me the hole n i was like "oh my god. would you like me to fix him up?" n so anyway i have now fixed up the giant gaping hole in her stuffed sloth hehe c:
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mental-illness-bingo · 7 months ago
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If you think it's a personality trait or a good or even a neutral thing to hate children just fucking block me. You're pathetic and you don't even deserve for me to bother to argue with you. Enjoy your weird obsession with vilifying a group of people with next to no neurodevelopment or life experience I guess. The rest of us will be here having a real personality, a life, and being tolerable to be around.
i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
#Put me in a room with literally a million crying babies before one childhater#I have sensory issues due to my autism and low empathy from ASPD yet I can still recognize they deserve kindness and grace while they learn#like I am the exact type of person people expect to be a childhater but nope I have basic human decency#it's not hard to be annoyed with the noise without being a complete douchebag#if you can't handle being annoyed without whining why the hell should they be expected to handle their first experiences suffering quietly?#Sit in the corner and think about how goddamn ridiculous you sound#because it is the overgrown version of the same tantrum you're complaining about if not worse#and the childfree crowd is not who I'm talking about here#it's ok to say I don't think I could handle having kids or even just not want them for any reason#but not wanting to raise a tiny human is a lot different than despising them in their entirety#little kids are some of the most understanding and gentle people I've had the pleasure of meeting#nothing like working in a preschool to restore your faith that humanity isn't all bad#we get corrupted somewhere along the way because those kids were so kind to literally everyone#I miss working there and if my disabilities ever become manageable to the point where I can work I would love to go back to it#childhaters will never understand the purity of a kid who struggles to focus on a book spending 10 mins to find the PERFECT rock to give yo#or how much time and effort and care they put into the art that childhaters call just scribbles#sorry to rant it just breaks my heart because enough interactions with childhaters can break kids' spirit and self esteem#and there's no explaining to them the concept of people who hate because they have nothing better to do in life#so they think they did something wrong or worse that they are just bad and deserve that treatment#mibingo addon#mibingo vent#vent in the tags
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