#I just have a big old back log of stuff from last year | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tswwwit · 1 year ago

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I had a dumb idea based on this ask, and then I wrote it!

Short Reincarnation thing where Bill gets his stupid body killed before meeting Dipper, and years later DIpper stumbles across him anyway.

When Dipper sees the faint golden glow in the distance, he staggers up to his feet.

Finally, after endless gray and black and white. After aimless wandering, with nobody to see or hear, nobody to call -

There’s a light.

Dipper walks towards the light slowly. Cautiously. Then faster. Soon he’s running, eager to see what’s in front of him for the first time in the last probably-four-hours.

Who cares what’s ahead of him? It’s different from everything else around; it has color.

Maybe it’s a way out of here.

He never should have gone to Gravity Falls. Not even with his semi-new confidence with his still-new magic, hoping he would find answers, not even to look for The Thing. Leaving Seattle to explore the infamously magical, dangerous, and nearly impenetrable woods here has to be the dumbest idea he’s ever had.

The glow in the clearing stays steady as he approaches, a steady unflickering light. A beacon.

Dipper stumbles into the patch of grass between the trees. Nearly trips, before he stands still, chest heaving.

What is it? He doesn’t see anything around. There’s a fallen log, and plants, an old shove leaning against a nearby tree, and.

There.

The bright gold light is coming from the ground.

Dipper takes a few, slow steps closer. Arching his neck, leaning into see what might be emitting that light, in the patch of soft bare ground underneath the grass. There’s -

A triangle.

Dipper frowns at it.

Whatever happened to send him into weird gray not-time, it was obviously magic, These woods are magic, this entire thing is because of magic. Obviously this thing is magic, too.

That can’t be great.

But while Dipper doesn’t know what this thing is, it’s the only thing around that’s not monochrome besides himself. That has to be a sign. Good or bad, he’s not sure.

He crouches down nearby. Not getting too close, yet.

Yeah. Definitely super magical. This close, it’s a bright light even in Dipper’s magical senses, and he’s pretty shit at those even for an amateur.

The object’s made of… gold? Maybe. At least it looks metallic now that he’s close enough to get an idea of the texture. Larger than Dipper thought at first glance, but small enough to theoretically pick up if he dared. And for some reason there’s a miniature top hat rolled off to the side, which is like. What.

Also, it’s chained to the ground.

A very thick yellow metal chain - gold again? Maybe - that’s linked to one of the corners. It’s long enough to meander around the clearing and pile in a neat coil near the fallen log, then back to the center before abruptly delving into the soil.

Hesitantly, Dipper edges a little closer. Nothing happens.

He waves a hand, and gives it a vague magical poke. Looking for movement, or like, big flashy stuff, or a reaction.

Nothing.

Okay. Big magic inside, but not reactive. Possibly inert. Dipper’s filing that under ‘good’ in terms of signs, but he’s ready to revise at a moment’s notice.

Since the triangle isn’t doing anything, it’s up to Dipper to take action. Fumbling at his side, he keeps his eye on the shape. Just in case it - he doesn’t know, explodes or catches fire or something.

Dipper finds what he’s searching for, and grips it tight. Nodding, once.

When in doubt, poke it with a stick.

He pokes it.

In a flash, the shape leaps from the ground, opens one huge, slit-pupiled eye and gets right in his face with a huge noise that Dipper will later remember is ‘BLARG’.

Despite himself, Dipper screams. The thing screams back at him, thin black arms flailing wildly, inches away. Dipper screams even louder, making a failed leap backward to hit the ground on his butt.

“AHHHH - HA! Ah ha ha ha ha!” The yelling devolves into wild, delighted laughter. The triangle crosses an arm over its front as it cackles, smacking a hand against one of its legs. “Whoo! Oh man! You shoulda seen the look on your face!”

Dipper stares. His heart is pounding, he’s trying to catch his breath. He lets go of his shirt, patting vaguely on the ground for the stick.

“You were all like ‘Aaaugh’!’” The triangle flails dramatically again, then starts laughing harder. It wipes under its eye. It looks, as much as any shape can, both totally thrilled and completely unrepentant. “Totally worth it.”

“You asshole.” Dipper sits up, trying to calm down. Unfortunately he truly has lost track of the stick, because he wants to throw something at this jerk.

“Ah, c’mon! You made that way too easy.” The triangle shrugs, lifting up two hands. It flaps a hand in Dipper’s direction. “Some guy all alone in the woods? No backup? No idea what he’s doing?” Its lower eyelid turns up. “You’re a tempting little opportunity, kid!”

Dipper says nothing. He simply glares, and flips it off.

And okay, that is a point, if you look at the situation in a totally twisted way. Dipper is kind of stranded and ignorant and -

Wait, shit, he is.all of those things, and if this kind of thing is around, then what else is.

Dipper pushes himself to his feet, and glances around quickly - but, no. Besides the jerk in front of him, nothing’s changed. Nobody and nothing around. Still very… still.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he jumps -

But it’s the jerk. Again. One noodly arm extending unnaturally, just to bother Dipper with a poke or two.

“Easy, sapling, there’s nobody here but us.” It says, tugging Dipper closer with one hand, and flapping the other in a semi-reassuring way.. “You can tone down the jumpiness for the moment! Believe it or not, I ain’t got any plans to hurt ya.”

Dipper shrugs, still examining the woods. It’s as silent and unmoving as always, so. Maybe they are alone here. One point in that thing’s favor.

For lack of anything to say, Dipper flips it off for a second time. It starts laughing again, clasping its surface.

Weirdly enough, Dipper kind of does believe it. That it doesn’t want to hurt him. Hell knows It had the jump on him, he had no defenses and didn’t expect anything to defend against. And it used that to be annoying, instead of harmful.

He looks it over anyway, still skeptical. It waves back, looking oddly cheerful and glowing slightly brighter.

Alright. No creature Dipper knows about fits this description. There’s magic, sure, but he doesn’t have enough experience to get a gist of it there. All he can tell is that it feels a lot more powerful than it looks, and that makes him vaguely uneasy.

Since he can’t get a read on it, and doesn’t know what to do with it -

Fuck it. Dipper just asks. “What are you?”

“Usually it’s ��who’, not ‘what’, kid. Way to make a guy feel appreciated.” It - he - chides, sounding annoyed. One of this creature’s arms goes down in a curve to grab the hat on the ground, setting it on his top point. “But since you insist, I’m the local demon in these parts.”

Demon. Great.

And an even greater sign for where Dipper somehow ended up, if this is the type of creature he’s running into.

Where the hell is he, anyway? How the hell did he get here. What does he do with this thing? And most importantly -

How quickly can he get the fuck out.

“What, chupacabra got your tongue? Introductions are in order!” The demon shoves his other arm at Dipper, palm up. Like he’s offering a handshake. “Name’s Bill.”

Dipper nearly shakes its hand - the first stupid move - and nearly speaks his own name, then stops. Glaring at this creature with suspicion.

Which is when the rest of the information hits home like an arrow.

Dipper drops his arms, holding them stiff at his sides. “Wait. Bill, like. Bill Cipher?” He shrinks back in alarm.

“Wow. Really?” ‘Bill’ says, looking grumpy now. “Now that’s rich. I don’t go around assuming every human named ‘John’ is the same guy, now do I?” He floats away a bit, slightly turned to the side. Eyeing Dipper with clear disapproval. “Real classy of ya, kid.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Dipper grimaces. He pats the air a bit, awkward. Bill turns slightly back towards him. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

He guesses that was a bit dumb, anyway. Bill Cipher has a totally different MO.

That guy’s powerful demon who can wander around reality. Arson and murder and mayhem are his favorite hobbies. He travels around wearing a handsome human form, adding chaos to the life of whichever mortal he’s picked that time around, with terrible delight.

Not exactly the same level as this Bill, who’s stuck in the middle of nowhere, pulling prank-level jumpscares.

If a demon like Cipher could be chained up in some weird gray pocket dimension, one of his mortals would have done it ages ago.

“Hey, no biggie!” Bill brightens up, facing Dipper again. He must not have taken the assumption too harshly; he almost looks pleased. “Not a bad guy to be compared to, all things considered.”

Dipper can’t help but make a mental note. Kind of interesting, that Cipher’s well known even outside of reality. That being compared to him is flattering, too, he didn’t expect that. Aren’t there books about this sort of thing? Dipper kind of wishes he’d studied more about demons, even though he never thought he’d need to -

But this isn’t the time to get sidetracked. No matter how interesting it is.

“Uh, I’m Dipper.” He gives Bill a little wave, instead of taking the again-offered hand to shake. He knows better. Bill drops his hand, thwarted for the moment. “It’s. Interesting to see you.”

Which is true. In that Dipper, finally, has met another… ‘person’ in the place he’s ended up, and that means…

Time to get information.

“Where am I?”

“First time visiting, huh?” Bill floats over, the chain making a strange tinkling sound as it drags behind him. He slings an arm over Dipper’s shoulder in a companionable way, and Dipper tenses. “Lemme introduce you!

“Welcome to the liminal space between dreams and waking! The infinite realm of thought! The Nightmare Realm - or Mindscape, if ya like.” Bill waves over the woods in a broad gesture - then sighs, letting his arm drop. “Though since we’re in the extra liminal bit near your place, it’s not nearly as fun.”

That… makes precisely zero sense. Dipper waits, but Bill’s started glaring at their surroundings instead. Hardly helpful.

Dipper tries to squirm out from under his arm, but it’s oddly difficult to shake off. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“It means we’re stuck in the outskirts, kid. The blendy-in part! Specifically the bit where it’s real solid, cause it’s closest to your usual digs.” Bill flaps a hand over the monochrome scenery, looking annoyed at the scene. “The reality-adjacent burnt edge of pie crust, instead of the golden-brown, juicy, gory middle. Not the best part by miles..”

One bit of information, then. Dipper’s not quite in a different realm, or outside of reality. No, that would be too simple.

Instead, he’s wound up in the spot where reality bleeds into another dimension. Where things aren’t one place or another, not one thing or another, and there’s probably a lot of magical theory that has a ton to explain all of it, except he hasn’t finished reading those books.

In theory, Dipper would take his time, and try to figure it out. Piece together the bits he’s learned. Maybe even ask Bill for input, since he seems to know about all of this stuff -

In practice, he keeps running over the words Bill used earlier.

‘We’re,’ Bill said. Including himself in the previous term, even though he’s an actual, literal demon.

And, ‘Stuck’. Bill said.

“So….” Dipper lets the word trail for a while, palms sweating. He rubs them on his jeans, trying for a smile. “Is there a way out of these… edges?”

“Unless you’re an advanced expert in interdimensional dynamics? Probably not!” Bill shrugs, sounding cheerful despite the horrible news he imparts, or maybe because of it. “Hope you enjoy silence and stillness, Pine Tree.” He pats his surface, eye shut with pride. “But if ya don’t, you’re welcome to hang with yours truly!”

Two horrible options. Dipper stares at Bill for a long moment, not sure what to say.

He’s not an expert, not at all. He has magic, a lot, apparently, but he barely knows what he’s doing with it, doesn’t know how he has it, and mostly it just makes stuff explode. He can barely light a candle without consequences, much less escape the borderlands of a realm of freakin’ thought.

“Oh,” He says instead. All the air seems like it’s come out of his lungs. “Have a seat, kid.” Bill darts over towards the log, gesturing Dipper closer. He pats the wood invitingly. “After all, misery loves company!”

Feeling numb, Dipper walks over. He turns around, and sits down.

After a moment, he rests his face in his hands.

“So! I already know you’re not from around Gravity Falls,” Bill says, floating a few inches over the log and right next to Dipper. Patting thigh, which would almost be reassuring except for everything, ever, and the way he gives it a weird squeeze. “I woulda seen it!”

“Yeah.” Dipper glances over, briefly. Then looks forward again..

“Boy, you’re turning out to be a great conversationalist! How lucky for me.” Bill says, very dry. He throws his arms in the air. “Figures. You’d have to be brain-damaged to wander these woods for no reason.”

“I had a reason,” Dipper protests. One he didn’t understand, sure. But he had one.

“Oh yeah? What?”

“I just - I had to.” Dipper folds his arms, looking away. Somehow it makes even less sense when he says it out loud.

Bill shrugs, and says nothing. For a while, actually. Dipper does the same, mouth shut.

Maybe Bill’s planning something, or maybe he’s hoping to hear about Dipper’s vulnerabilities - but Dipper wasn’t born yesterday. He might not have had magic until a few years ago, but he’s still not an idiot. He’s not blabbing about his life to a demon of all creatures -

For about five seconds.

He can’t help it. The silence feels so deeply wrong that he has to break it. “I don’t know. I just felt-”

Like he was being drawn here. Like there was an invisible thread, tugging gently at him until he couldn’t ignore it. Whispering, in quiet words, that he might find what he wanted.

A subtle, but effective temptation. Dipper did the stupid thing. He came here on that idiotic whim, and now look what’s happened.

Maybe he should have known better. But.

For the longest time, Dipper has felt like something’s missing. Nothing he could ever really explain, or make sense of. When he lets himself think about it, which is rarely, it’s The Thing; a feeling so vague he can’t even put a name to it.

All he knows is that something’s gone and it sucks. Like a piece is missing in his own personal puzzle, maybe dropped off the table or skimmed across the floor, and now he can’t find the stupid thing for the life of him. Doubly infuriating because it was the one last piece he needed, right before it went and fucked off.

When he got his magic, that helped with The Thing, a little. When he started actively looking for The Thing, that helped, too.

But he still doesn’t know what it is, much less where it is, and he might never find the answer.

Not that he’s telling Bill any of that.

“I had an impulse, and a stupid idea.” Dipper shrugs. “You know how it is.” Hopefully he does. If not, Bill will find out how annoying getting no explanation is.

“Bet you have a lot of those.” Bill says, amused. He stalks over the log, prodding Dipper in the side. “Probably famous for it!”

“Shut up.” Now Dipper flicks Bill on the side, annoyed. He’s not the only one included in that terrible adjective. “What about you? What brought you here?”

“None of your beeswax.” Bill sets his fists on his edges, looking proud. “I’m doing exactly what I wanna be doing.”

Dipper casts a long, deliberate glance over the chain, and raises an eyebrow. Bill glares at him.

“Yeah, yeah, things could be a little more lively, whatever.” Another dismissive wave. Bill hops from the log onto Dipper’s leg, and drops down with a surprisingly heavy feel. He shrugs. “But hey, you’re gonna be with me for the foreseeable future! I can work with that.”

So Bill is trapped. He’s come as close to admitting it as Dipper’s likely to get.

On an impulse, he pats Bill on his weird, metal back. If it’s a back; Dipper’s guessing because it’s the surface that doesn’t have his eye on it. Bill makes a pleased sound, so it must not be too weird.

“I’m guessing your whole deal is, what, mystery hunting? You don’t seem the monster hunter type.” Bill prods his arm, squeezing his bicep with a narrowed eye. “Or hey! Maybe you were just dumb enough to poke around for no reason!” Oh for - Dipper just said he had one. Bill knows that, he’s just being a dick. “I’m not dumb.” He sits up a little straighter, jabbing a thumb at his chest. Lifting his chin in defiance. “At least I’ve never been chained up.”

“Ah, a real vanilla guy.” Bill rubs under his eye thoughtfully. Dipper feels his face warm with embarrassment, waving his hands. That’s not what he meant - and Bill brightens up.. “Guess ‘adventurous’ only goes so far, huh?”

Dipper splutters, not sure how to respond. Bill waggles his upper eyelid, nudging him in the side - and Dipper can’t not respond to this asshole.

Unfortunately, Bill’s ready with a retort for every protest. Dipper can’t let that lie, so he has to accuse him of his own stupidity back, and forth, and back again.

They actually keep at it, for… longer than Dipper expected. More easily than expected.

He kind of thought that being trapped here, trying to keep up conversation with Bill, would trail off into awkward silence more often than not. Dipper’s never been great with small talk, he has to plan, like, half of his conversations in his head before they happen.

Turns out it’s hard to feel awkward when you really want to make the other guy shut up first.

Bill’s still a jerk, sure. Dipper's known that from moment one. He starts arguments without a purpose, delighting himself with stupid puns, and it turns out he finds it hard to resist a double entendre. That’s a weak point; Dipper can use it. He has to think on his feet to keep up with him, there’s no time to get mired down.

It’s all pointless, stupid bickering. Bill prodding at him, Dipper responding and prodding back. Bill’s pretty cagey; Dipper doesn’t get much from him.

Bill, though. Gets a lot. Probably more than he wanted, because Dipper finds once he starts talking about some things, he has a lot more to say about them than he thought.

He’s not sure why he’s doing it. Or how he started. He knows Bill hasn’t used magic on him, he can feel that much, it’s just….

Bill keeps asking pointed questions, so he’s asking for it. Dipper hasn’t been able to talk about some of this before, and Bill’s a literally captive audience. Possibly because Bill couldn’t tell anyone else Dipper knows, and partly… because he’s a terrible listener, which kind of helps. Like it doesn’t matter what Dipper says, because Bill won’t care enough to use it against him.

“Not to mention going through magical puberty, like a decade too late.” Dipper finishes, after going over a long, long list of complaints. About his shitty life. About how much things suck. He waves over the air for emphasis. Bill, sitting on his thigh, leans back so his hat isn’t knocked off. “Do you know what that’s like?”

“Likely hilarious! But so what?” Bill sits back up, kicking his legs idly. Which also means he’s lightly kicking Dipper’s other leg. “What’s wrong with more power?”

Dipper opens his mouth to argue. Then stops.

It makes sense that a demon wouldn’t get it, due to, well. Being a demon. They’re all power hungry. To Bill, this could only seem like a good thing. He wouldn’t understand how-

“More power means solving some problems, alright.” Dipper changes tactics, rubbing at his eyes. There’s a headache coming on, he can feel it. “But now I have different problems. Bigger ones.”

“Aha! Inexperience.” Bill brightens up a bit more, waving off the rest of Dipper’s concerns. “Easy, kid, that’s all temporary. Once you get used to blasting things to pieces, you’d be amazed how many problems are flammable!”

Dipper feels his mouth draw into a thin line. He doesn’t know what he expected.

He drops back onto the log, resting his chin in his hand. Bill pats his lower back, and starts rambling on about optimal targeting techniques, but Dipper’s not paying attention.

Different experiences, and different problems. He’s in a different place, which has totally eclipsed the Thing problem. Bill’s here too, but he doesn’t seem like the major issue.

The big one, right now, is going home, and how the hell Dipper’s going to do that.

“There has to be a way out of here.”. He’s not going to give up. Not now.

“Well,” Bill draws out the word, slow and with a detectable hint of smugness. “There might be one way to get your butt back to reality.”

Dipper tenses up.

Right. He should have seen this coming, because Bill’s a demon. He hadn’t forgotten that fact, but he’d put it out of the front of his mind.

“I see where this is going.” Dipper folds his arms, and gives Bill an unimpressed look. “Let me guess. You’re an expert in interdimensional dynamics.”

“Never said I wasn’t!” Bill’s lower eyelid is raised in amusement. “To tell the truth, sapling, I’m one of the best in the biz.” He throws in a wink, even with one eye. “You really lucked out meeting me.”

Another thing Dipper should have expected. Bill might be stuck, but he never said the why, only implied it. The chain should have been a clue. A demon would know how to handle dimensions, too, since they can be summoned and dismissed. And trapped.

Demons are also notorious for another thing. Dipper’s not looking forward to it.

Escape isn’t going to come without a cost.

“What do you want,” He says, flat.

“Make a deal with me!” Bill floats up and in front of Dipper, arms spread invitingly. “I’ll show you how to get out of here in seconds, no problem.”

“What’s the cost.” Dipper remains stern. Glaring, now. Bill hasn’t gotten to it yet, but there’s going to be a catch.

“Yeesh, way to rush things.” Bill wags a finger, almost chiding. “A jaunt back home can’t be all you want! Think about what you’d really want out of life. ‘Cause I’ve got more magic to work with than you could comprehend!”

Bill waves his arm, and this time -

Okay. Dipper has to admit it’s impressive.

Wherever Bill gestures, a small scene plays out, like a movie. Bright and colorful, standing out against the bland background.

“You could ask for fame!” A brief shot of Dipper, being lauded by a crowd. Bill snaps his fingers. “For riches!” Piles of gold tumble around fake-Dipper’s feet, burying him to the ankles - another snap. “Or hell, even True Love!”

And a shadowy figure sneaks up on fake-Dipper, then seizes him by the waist, lifting him up. Fake-Dipper looks surprised, then annoyed. He struggles, kicking out helplessly, right before he’s dragged off into nothingness.

Dipper stares at the lingering void left until the ‘screen’ vanishes. Then, incredulously, at Bill.

Bill pops up in front of him again, fists set on his sides with pride. “Name it, kid, and it’s on offer. I could get you all that crap that humans like and more!”

“I’ll pass.” Dipper flips Bill off, much to his amusement.

“What, too intimidating?” Bill leans in, nudging Dipper with an elbow-adjacent bend of his arm. “Be reasonable, Pine Tree. You’re gonna make a deal anyway. Why not get something cool while you’re at it?”

Okay, fair point. If Dipper’s risking his soul, he might as well get something else while he’s at it.

But it’s also dangerous. Bill’s going to cheat, and lie, and according to what he showed Dipper has a totally different view of what’s actually appealing to humans. Making this deal too complicated could only end poorly.

Everything he’s offering probably comes with a catch, anyway. Fame would probably be for, like, accidentally exploding a building, money from a murder or whatever. Bill’s idea of ‘love’ is just. Yeah, Dipper’s going to pass. And even if there weren’t a huge pitfall waiting for him - Bill certainly couldn’t give Dipper what he’s really looking for, especially when even Dipper’s not sure what it is.

For a moment, then, Dipper lingers on the image of his shitty apartment. How cold it’s going to be when fall turns into winter, and how his car is starting to make unnerving sounds when -

He shakes his head to clear it.

“Just get me out of here.”

Bill groans, clearly disappointed. “Yeah yeah, stubbornness. But ya gotta sweeten the deal for me, too.” He rubs his fingers together, eye narrowed. “Make it worth my while.”

Of freaking course there’s a minimum buy-in. Dipper groans, rubbing at his eyes. If he has to add onto this -

“Alright, fine.” He throws his hands in the air.. “Like, enough gas money to get home.” That shouldn’t cost too much. Hopefully.

Bill remains undeterred. He narrows his eye, skeptical. “That’s it? I get skipping over the ‘fame’ one, alright, that can be a pain. When everyone knows who you are, they get all up in your business! But you’re not gonna ask for any affection?” He blinks for a moment, spreading his hands and somewhat incredulous himself. “‘Cause I got-”

“Some really bad ideas.” Dipper says. Bill looks miffed, crossing his arms over his golden front. “Are we doing this deal or not?”

“Hmph. You got no idea what you’re missing out on.” Bill sniffs, which is weird because he doesn’t have a nose - “Fine, we’ll do it your way. Spoilsport.”

Dipper straightens up, feeling a sudden burst of pride. Bill’s bothered, which means Dipper avoided a trap. He’s in a little less danger.

“Now, about getting you back to reality. That’s some tricky business there, but I got ideas.” Bill taps under his eye, thoughtful. He stares off into space, pupil changing shape and size, flickering for a moment before it snaps back to ‘normal’. “You’re gonna need a life spell.”

“What?”

Dipper’s experience is pretty limited, in that he’s only had magic for a few years, but he’s not stupid. To change back dimensions, and get home, life magic doesn’t fit. All it deals with is flesh and blood and a bit with spirit, but that can’t apply here. He thinks..

“What do you mean, what? Who’s the expert here, anyway?” Brightening up, Bill swings an arm around DIpper’s shoulder again, half-guiding and half-dragging him into the middle of the clearing. “You got the magic for it, you got the talent for it. You lack the education for it, but I can walk you through the basics, and we can cram everything into the same spell! One and done, easy.”

“That’s… convenient.” And concerning. Dipper stares at the bare earth under his feet, shifting under Bill’s arm. “So how do I-”

“Ahem.” Bill clears his nonexistent throat, tapping a fist against his surface. He gives Dipper a meaningful look, though what it’s trying to convey is impossible to parse.

Dipper glares at him. Another catch, probably. “What now.”

“You called it earlier, kid! Before we start rifling through the guts of it,” Bill drifts closer, until his eye is right up near Dipper’s face. He pokes him on the cheek with amusement. “We gotta discuss my price.”

Right. There was always going to be one, wasn’t there.

Dealing with a demon. The stupidest thing possible.

“How much?” Dipper asks, voice flat. Adding, before Bill can speak up - “I don’t really have much, uh. To me.”

It won’t be cash. Even inexperienced, Dipper knows that much. Whatever Bill asks for, Dipper’s soul’s not going to be on the table; he’d rather be trapped than do that. Maybe Bill will request a demonic thing, but Dipper doesn’t have any connections to other magical beings, any cool relics, or any secret knowledge.

He really hopes this isn’t going to be painful, or traumatic. Or anything physical, for that matter. Dying in the process of escaping kind of defeats the point.

“Hm. Lemme think.” Bill hums for a moment, eye narrowed. “One spell, complete with escape from the realm you accidentally stumbled your ignorant ass into, and one dose of obscene wealth-” Dipper clears his throat, loud. “Alright, minor wealth, loser. That should run ya…”

Dipper stuffs his hands in his pockets, waiting with growing unease. Bill’s rubbing under his eye in thought, like he’s trying to see how much he can gouge Dipper for. Hopefully it’s not flesh.

Then Bill stops, and holds up a finger. “One kiss. Seems fair to me!”

Dipper stares at this… thing for a moment. “What.”

Bill glows brighter, seemingly pleased with himself. “Pretty great deal, am I right?”

“Very funny.” Dipper gives him a derisive look. “What do you actually want?”

“A kiss, kid. With tongue.” Bill says, very seriously. He shuts his eye and wags a finger in the air.. “We’re talking a real tonsil-tickler here, none of that chaste peck crap.”

“With who?” Dipper has a dreadful suspicion. Which isn’t helped by the way Bill gleefully points two thumbs at himself. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious, sapling.” Bill spreads his arms wide, lower eyelid rises in a simulacrum of a smile. “One frenching for one freedom. You couldn’t find a better bargain even if you did have options!”

The worst part is that’s probably right. What Bill’s asking for sounds like it’s the cheapest thing on offer. Most demons would put the price point so much higher - flesh, souls, family, mass slaughter - that it wouldn’t be worth considering.

Dipper can’t believe he’s considering this.

“And it’s not going to like, burn my mouth with acid, or suck out all my organs, or-”

“Boy, are you paranoid. Typical,” Bill says, sounding exasperated. He rolls his eye in its socket, around and around, before settling back on Dipper. “You can’t kiss back if you pass away, kid! I want active participation, and you’re only up for some lip action right now.”

Dipper remains skeptical. He leans back a bit, making a face.

But the request’s bizarre enough to feel honest, and technically it’s better than the other things Dipper was imagining. All in all, a quick kiss actually does seem like a bargain.

Which means Dipper shouldn’t trust it one bit.

Thinking about it, Bill’s been stuck here, for who knows how long, without access to much. No hanging out with other demons, no manipulating humans. Lacking anyone to talk to, or - have other mouth actions with, or anything. He’s not operating on standard demon motivations. Likely this has a different angle. Something else he can use to exploit.

Why would Bill want this?

Dipper looks him up and down slowly, lips drawn tight. Trying to figure him out.

Bill clearly takes his attention as interest, because he straightens his hat, and adjusts his tie with obvious pride. He wipes at his surface, hums a little tune, and there’s a squeaking sound as he rubs a wrist against his side. Like he’s polishing it.

Or…. maybe it’s a bargain because Bill actually wants to make out. The primping can’t be anything but alarmingly sincere.

“Okay.” Dipper gives in, and lets his shoulders drop. Being trapped has obviously tanked Bill’s standards - or his uses for pounds of flesh. Either way, it’s worked out in his favor. “Let’s do this.”

“Glad to hear it!” Bill floats closer, cupping Dipper’s face in his weird hands. They're oddly soft for a guy who’s mostly made of metal. “Now pucker up, buttercup, and we’ll seal the deal.”

“Don’t call me that,” Dipper says. Bill squishes his cheeks a few times, until Dipper smacks his front.

“Eh, I got other nicknames to use,” Bill says, and draws Dipper in.

Dipper shuts his eyes. He doesn’t want to see this. Whatever’s about to touch his face, it’s probably terrifying.

For a moment he’s tempted to call it off, but then Bill will protest and maybe cut the deal off, leaving him right back at square one and with less bargaining power. Too late to back out.

Sterning himself, Dipper lets it happen.

There’s… a mouth? Against his mouth. Something, anyway, and it’s not soft but not sharp or stinging, and for the moment his face isn’t melting off. Dipper can work with that.

There’s a tug on his shirt, and Bill makes an insistent ‘mmh!’. Right, he has to participate. Damn it.

Kissing Bill back isn’t hard, if he pretends he’s not holding onto the edges of a demonic shape. And forgets the fact that he’s buying his freedom with a makeout session. When a few seconds pass and Dipper hasn’t exploded or turned into a monster, he even manages to relax.

Yeah. He can get through this. It’s not too bad. Honestly, Bill’s handling this pretty well, all things considered. It’s not slimy or sloppy, or particularly rough.Their teeth haven’t clicked together once, if Bill even has any - and he doesn’t smell bad. Or like anything, really.

So, surprisingly, it’s not the worst kiss Dipper’s ever had. Bill, apparently, has some experience in this area. That raises so many questions.

Something wet flickers against his lips, and very reluctantly, Dipper lets them part. This could be -

Huh. Bill tastes like…. basil? Of all the things Dipper was expecting, that wasn’t even on the list. And while he’s made of metal and sharp corners, he’s warm, too, and his hand cupping the back of Dipper’s neck runs up and down in a way that’s almost. Nice. Tonsils remain uninvolved, too. If Bill’s forgotten that part, then Dipper’s not going to bring it up.

He’s not sure how long they spend like that, because - well, after a while it’s kind of interesting? That Bill can do this at all. That needs investigating. If Dipper needs to take a weird route to study it, well, that’s acceptable losses. He can deal.

Until there’s a slow slide up his thigh, and a hand squeezes Dipper’s butt.

Dipper shoves this jerk away, grimacing. That wasn’t part of the deal. “Hey! Hands off.”

“What hands? They’re right here!” Bill blinks innocently, and offers them up for Dipper’s inspection.

Now that’s just bullshit. DIpper reaches behind himself, seizes the offending limb, and shoves it right at Bill’s surface. “What about this?”

“Oh wow, what a surprise!” While Bill’s third arm gives Dipper a jaunty wave, he shrugs with the other two. A fourth one pops out and smacks against his edge in mock surprise. “Where’d that come from?”

Yep. Still, absolutely, one hundred percent asshole. He doesn’t know what he expected.

Dipper flips him off. Again. He wishes he knew more obscene gestures, because this one just makes Bill laugh.

“I’ll call that a deal fulfilled, sapling. Very nice, by the way! You really went for it!” Bill’s glowing bright, unperturbed. Glossing over the fact that he’s been caught being a pervert. “Even I can’t claim you didn’t pay up.”

Dipper wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and shrugs. “Just show me the spell.”

“Aw, but it was a fun time, am I right?” Bill tickles Dipper under the chin, lower eyelid raised. He gives Dipper double finger guns, beaming.. ”Next one’s on the house.”

Dipper rubs at his eyes. Honestly. It’s a good reminder.

If it weren’t for Bill’s sheer dickishness, he might have said something nearly positive, and that would have been a huge mistake.

A deal, done. A payment, made.

Now, to actually get Dipper’s portion.

Though it takes some arguing. Or rather, a lot of arguing, and a relative armload of innuendoes, only half of which make sense - Dipper, eventually, steers Bill back onto the right track.

Turns out the trick is questioning whether or not he can actually do it. Questioning Bill’s competence, or knowledge, lights a fire under his nonexistent ass.

Pride, Dipper notes, is a weak point for Bill. Though he’s not likely to ever need it again, it’s still nice to know.

Bill’s also surprisingly okay to work with. Kind of like the kiss, Dipper expected it to be painful, but Bill actually, amazingly, knows what he’s doing. Albeit without making Dipper have questions he’s not sure he wants the answers to.

Bill projects an outline of the circle that needs to be drawn, Dipper can easily trace it. His knowledge truly is deep, too; Bill has an encyclopedic knowledge of sigils and runes, and only minorly goes on tangents about destructive and chaotic energy.

And, though it sucks to admit - he was right again.

The spell Dipper needs to cast truly is simple. At least on Dipper’s end. All he needs to do is power the thing, and channel it with some theory that Bill described in gory yet helpful terms.

But the spell *is* life magic. Magic’s not enough; it needs a little more, as Bill put it, ‘oomph’ to get it going.

Dipper flicks the pocketknife open, ready to draw it across his palm. He steadies himself with a deep breath.

Blood is connected to it, magically. A few drops is all it should take. Then it’s over. He’ll be done here.

He’ll get to go home.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Bill grabs Dipper’s wrist before he makes the cut. “Piss poor placing, kid. You want the back of the arm or a leg or something.” He wags a chiding finger. “More blood, and more convenient if you wanna grab anything later.”

Dipper honestly hadn’t thought of that. In movies and stuff, everyone goes for - but. Yeah.

Yet again, Bill’s been oddly helpful.

In fact, this entire time he’s been oddly, annoyingly helpful. When Dipper was stuck. When he wanted to complain, and the deal really could have been worse. Maybe it’s only because Bill’s been bored, and he doesn’t have anyone else to mess with. Or because he kind of thinks Dipper’s… worth kissing.

In any case. It’s the sort of thing he should probably mention.

“Uh. Thanks.” Dipper says, feeling awkward. “You’ve been kind of cool. For a demon.”

“Ha! Now that’s rare!” Bill drifts upwards, fists on his edges. He looks supremely amused. “Glad you spoke up, sapling.” Somehow, he winks with only one eye. “I won’t ever let you forget it.”

Back to ominous, then. Dipper’s going to try and ignore it

“Okay, well. See you… hopefully never again.” He states, and draws the knife over the back of his arm. Just a nick, but enough to draw a few drops.

As Bill starts laughing, Dipper shuts his eyes for a second time, kneeling on the ground, and muttering the chant. He’s already memorized it, no need to listen to Bill anymore.

Goodbye, demon, goodbye, awful grey realm -

He draws on the magic, that deep and infinite pool inside him, and pushes.

There’s a strange, clinking sound. A rush of magic out of him,more than he’s used before, it almost leaves him dizzy, and the spell itself clicks into place, complete.

That’s it. He’s done. He’s -

Dipper looks up.

Everything’s still monochrome, so. That’s not good.

He gets to his feet slowly, checking - but no, no change. Still stuck, in this impossible liminal realm.

With a start, he realizes that nothing’s glowing in the clearing, either.

Dipper looks around, suddenly alert, but he doesn’t hear anything. Not a laugh, or a mocking comment. No matter how he looks, there’s no chain. No gold. No freaking Bill around, completely vanished from sight -

“That son of a bitch.” Dipper clenches his fists at his sides.

Goddamn it, he should have realized. That entire thing was incredibly, recklessly stupid. It was a trick, Bill’s been freed - and Dipper’s still trapped.

But you know what? Fuck Bill. Dipper doesn’t need him.

He’s smart. He got here to begin with, and he didn’t need some asshole to help him with that; he can get out as well. He’s going to figure this out, learn a hell a lot more about demons, get really great at magic, and - and all sorts of other things, too, all out of sheer spite. He’s going to get out of here-

As he clenches his fists, jaw tightening, color washes over the scene.

Dipper blinks again. Then waves his arms, suddenly confused.

That was fast. Almost as fast as thought.

There’s a breeze on his skin, the smell of the forest in the air. The sky is less dark, though it’s nearly sunset. Dipper spends a long tense minute, watching the sun relative to the horizon, tension tight in his chest. Feeling a huge shudder of relief, as it does, in fact, move. Time’s moving. Time’s normal, and the world is normal, and real.

The spell did work. On a delay that Bill never mentioned.

Dipper taps his foot on the loose earth beneath him, folding his arms.

Great. Now he can’t be mad at Bill. He was as good as his word.

All in all, Dipper could have made a worse deal, if he doesn’t think too hard about Bill and what he might be up to. The trade, such as it was, did end up fair.

A freedom for a freedom. That’s about as fair as a demon can be, and all for the low, low cost of. Some lip action.

For some reason, Dipper’s still really annoyed.

If he knew Bill was going to get out too, well. A heads up would have been nice. Not to mention that Bill just went and fucked off somewhere without so much as a ‘see ya’, or a ‘goodbye’, or -

But it’s good, really. That they won’t meet again. Better for both of them.

Because If they did, Dipper would have to tell him he’s a jerk, and a bastard. Bill seems like he needs that reminder every once in a while. Or every few days. Or hours.

So again, good that he’s gone; Dipper’d probably lose his voice if he had to be around him too long. Good riddance.

Dipper stands in the clearing for a while, watching the light fade as evening sets in. Alone in the forest again. Safe in reality.

After a while, it’s starting to get chilly; he wraps an arm over himself, squeezing the opposite bicep. .

It’s been a very long day.

He takes a deep breath, and slowly lets it out.

Then the soft earth shifts under his feet, and something grabs his ankle.

For the second time in a day, Dipper screams.

A sudden yank makes Dipper lose his balance, but he catches himself before he hits the ground, braced on his elbows. He swears, pulling his leg away on impulse, kicking at the tight grasp on his leg -

And stares in horror as a dirty yet well-manicured hand pulls him closer, impossibly strong. Dragging him down into the earth it burst out from. A few more urgent kicks gets the thing off him, and Dipper scrambles back.

The hand pats around for him, searching, then pushes against the ground. Bringing out an arm, then a chest, a full head that shakes off the dirt. An eye rolls around in one socket, while the other is missing or covered with dirt, and it wears a wide, rictus grin. With very sharp, very white teeth.

Dipper struggles to his knees. Sweat is breaking out on his forehead, as whole human man - thing pulls itself out of a shallow grave right in front of him. There’s no time to react; it’s up on its feet before he can gain his own. Too steady, and way too fast for the living dead.

Shit. Life magic, of course.

So It wasn’t a trick after all. It was a trap.

Dipper not only set BIll free but raised, like, a zombie, or something, to take care of the rest. It’s going to finish him off and leave no evidence but a bloody smear on the grass. He tries to leap back but it's already got him by the shirt in a tight grip, dragging him in.

Okay, no time. Last resort. DIpper hates to do this, but. He tenses up, holding his arms out and reaching for his magic. Pulling on it, hard.

The fire rages, it lights up the whole clearing as it spreads. Dipper can feel it engulf himself, spread around the clearing, and engulf his assailant -

To absolutely zero effect. Not even a sizzle, what the hell.

Dipper spends a moment to be indignant as the creature lifts him up, and up, until his feet don’t even touch the ground. What the hell. He’s always been able to explode stuff, and the one time he actually wanted to, it doesn’t work?

“Trying to heat things up, huh? Nice try, sapling, but it won’t work.” Says the man holding him, sounding delightedly amused. “As a guy once said - I’m extremely cool!”

Dipper snaps his gaze downwards, towards that voice. “That’s not what I-”

He stops. Stares.

Then glares.

A golden eye winks back at him. Some of the dirt has dried from the fire; now it flakes off in patches, revealing an eyepatch instead of an empty socket, and a suit instead of the yellow of lividity. Dipper’s idly tempted to insult his fashion, before he remembers he still can’t touch the freakin’ ground.

While the other shape didn’t have a literal smile, if you plastered it on a human face it would be a one-to-one match.

“You’re kidding me.” Dipper says. Somehow he’s not surprised.

He gets an eyebrow wiggle, and a brighter smile. The man lifts him up like a carnival prize; his suit really is tacky, Dipper should tell him that. And that his voice is so annoying, and he has a very handsome, very awful face.

Bill cackles. Clearly thrilled.

“Really? Dipper says. Then, feeling tired. “Oh, come on, Bill. That was a dick move.” He lets his arms drop to his sides.

So obvious, when you think about it. So clear, when you know what’s up.

There were so many chances to spot it, and Dipper was so dumb.

Bill Cipher, dream demon. Infamous for a lot of things, power and insanity and all of that - but mostly for wandering reality, tied to a mortal. While wearing a human shape. Obviously he has another form, being a demon and all, but it’s not like there are many depictions. Bill Cipher doesn’t stride around Earth without wearing his skin suit.

Well. Guess who just went and made him one.

Dipper should be more upset. He should be furious. But mostly?

He’s thinking about how he’ll get Bill back for this.

“What’s with the long face?” Bill Cipher asks, looking absurdly pleased with himself. A huge grin as he bounces Dipper in his grip, sharp teeth bared. “Everything went according to plan!”

“I’m an idiot,” Dipper states, before kicking Bill once. It doesn’t work, but it was mostly a gesture, anyway. “And you’re an asshole.”

“Sure am! But you’re my idiot now, sapling.” Bill says, cheerful as anything. He swings Dipper around, then over his shoulder like he weighs nothing. Throwing in a pat on the back, presumably for insult. “Good to see ya again!”

#Another advancement in my nefarious triangle makeouts agenda #It'll be short I told myself #Probably only 2k I told myself #Why do I ever listen to myself?#Have some ridiculous fic and I hope it entertains #Feels good to be writing again but I must make BETTER and MORE #Time to work on that lamb wolf thing; it was almost done before I went on a tear writing this silly thing #I'd say Dipper's somewhere between twenty two and twenty five here #Bill's been SO BORED for YEARS #Of course he took the opportunity to mess with his husband #And it worked out Beautifully

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minmin-vs-physics · 1 month ago

Note

Hey! I’m gonna be a physics major next year, and I was wondering if the Mac and iPad combo have worked well for you, or if there’s something else you recommend tech wise?

short answer: yes.

but, im gonna use this has an opportunity to yap about my current study set up. this goes without saying, but what worked for me may not work for you, and my set up evolved over the years as i found what was best for me.

i use an iPad for lecture notes and homework. i think its the most organized you can get them to be without straight up LaTeXing the shit out of them (and i know people who do exactly that, more power to them)

i just write faster than i type, and an ipad allows me to copy paste equations and add photos and stuff which is helpful for diagrams. i use goodnotes 5, and i will sing its praises till the end of time.

i think it pays to develop a clear style for your homework and lecture notes, bc your work will be easier to navigate. here's an example of my lecture notes and my homework.

[hehe general relativity moment]

HOWEVER, you will mostly be having paper exams as a physics student so i recommend you don't get too reliant on your iPad. i tend to do all my studying in notebooks, or loose sheets that i can refer to. practice problems are always on paper.

[stat mech studying i did last week]

i started using legal pads for this from the end of junior year bc they're so convenient! im also incentivized by the stock our dept keeps in the mail room.

i have to do a lot of calculations for research and i prefer to do them on paper or a blackboard if it's something im reasoning out. idk it's so much easier to be stupid on paper than on goodnotes. ofc my research log is kept digitally, but i keep a binder with all my old calculations (both correct, and incorrect) along with my main reference papers.

[i was flipping through this just now and realised how much bs is in it.]

LaTeX is a good skill to have which i didn't realise until too late. if you have to write any paper that's remotely scientific, LaTeX is the way to go. none of that google docs bs.

i use both vscode and Overleaf for editing. i mainly just LaTeX my finalized research calculations into one big doc. it's much easier to show my advisor. also it looks cool.

i got a monitor when my laptop screen broke sophomore spring (something inside me broke as well that semester it was so fun). and if you have the option, i would totally recommend getting one. it's useful having a second/bigger screen.

i use mine for a bunch of things: coding, reading textbooks, genshin impact, Netflix, grading.

on the topic of textbooks, i use digital bc im cheap. but i do buy secondhand physical copies that i rarely reference, but keep around bc it doesn't hurt to start your hypothetical professor office bookshelf early. i only buy the ones i actually respect, like Peskin's Intro to QFT. but the digital copies are usually much handier. i keep an extensive digital collection of books and papers i might never need.

don't be like me keep your digital library more organized!

and yeah circling back to electronics! i use a Macbook Pro rn which has served me well. i guess things are different if you need to run solidworks or other specialized software, but you can always use the lab computers, so that was never a problem. i have an apple ecosystem bc im a slut for capitalism.. i mean i was already halfway there and now im just really used to it, so i like all my devices being friends with each other. my tip is always get more RAM than you thought you needed, and double the storage. but maybe that's bc im mean to my laptop and love hoarding files.

i also keep all my previous notes and printouts so may be i have an academic hoarding problem in general.

in the end, a mix of old school and new age technology bs works best for me!

thank you for your question! i hope this helps :)

#physics #min vs college #studyblr #college #study aesthetic #physics studyblr #min vs fa24 #min vs inbox

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knickynoo · 5 months ago

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McFly July Day 13: Campfire

Lone Pine timeline

Marty scooted closer to the fire, reveling in the warmth it provided in the chilly night air. He was bone tired from the day’s activities, and the thought of crawling into his sleeping bag sounded amazing. But he resisted, knowing full well that while his body was thoroughly exhausted, his brain hadn’t quite gotten the memo yet. It was still swirling with thought, pulling his attention in ten different directions at once.

The last time he’d sat by a campfire and slept outside, he’d been in 1885, his entire future hinged on one big decision and a fragile plan.

Now he was home—or, at least, he was back—having spent a full day hiking and fighting to set up his expensive tent and collecting wood for the fire Dad and Dave built.

When his mom first casually mentioned the “annual McFly family camping trip,” he’d thought she was making a joke. He’d been camping a handful of times, but never with his family.

Never with his family.

Except these people were his family, and Mom hadn’t been joking. They’d all, minus him, reminisced about past trips on the drive to the campsite, unknowingly providing him with small pieces to add to the slowly growing mental puzzle of this timeline’s version of him. Of the life he did but didn’t live.

Last year, they’d had a race to see who could assemble a tent the fastest: parents versus kids. Mom and Dad had won.

Two years prior, it’d stormed so fiercely that they had to leave the first night and stay at a nearby motel.

Marty had learned that during their 1978 trip, he’d somehow managed to lose his balance during their hike and end up in the river—twice.

“You were like a little drowned rat,” Mom had said through a laugh. “Remember that, Marty?”

No, he didn’t. But he’d returned her laugh, along with the dozens of others shared during the car trip.

It all sounded nice, the stories they swapped. It sounded like the kind of stuff he’d longed for as a kid.

His quiet ruminations were interrupted as Linda dropped into the folding chair beside him. Even after a day spent out in nature, she still looked put-together, as if prepared for the possibility that she might have to hurry off to meet a date at any moment.

Linda bumped him with her shoulder. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You’ve been weird today.”

A chuckle worked it’s way from Marty’s throat at the blunt, but accurate, statement. He met his sister’s eyes, seeing the mixture of teasing and concern.

“Just today?” he asked with a smile.

“Weirder, I should’ve said,” Linda clarified. “What, are you too cool for these trips now?”

“No. I’m having fun.”

“Could’ve fooled me. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Linda.” Marty held his hands out toward the dancing flames and focused on the heat and the crackling logs. He felt her gaze on him still—observing him as if he was some riddle to be solved. Some unknown specimen that needed dissecting.

Just as her staring approached unbearable, it stopped, releasing the tension that had been building in Marty’s chest. Linda reached into a bag beside her chair and pulled out a bag of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers, and some chocolate bars.

“Wanna make some double-decker s’mores?” She offered a wooden skewer to Marty.

Marty’s breath caught at her words—at the memory that they brought to the surface. Not from this timeline but from the old one. From his timeline. A memory of him, Linda, and Dave making double-decker s’mores over the stove on a rainy autumn night after their parents had gone to sleep. Of setting the marshmallows on fire and melting chocolate dripping onto the countertops and graham cracker crumbs scattered across the floor. Scrambling to clean it all up and leave no evidence of their late-night sugar fix.

Had that night happened the same way here? Or had it come about some other way, maybe even during one of their camping trips?

He supposed maybe it didn’t matter how, just that it did. That he’d found one of those rare connecting threads—woven through both timelines and providing him with a brief feeling of being anchored.

Giving him hope that, over time, maybe both his memories and this place would feel like home.

Marty took the skewer, then got to work helping Linda tear open all the packaging. He thought of the stories he’d heard of past trips, how he’d had nothing to contribute or look back on fondly along with his family. Maybe he’d never gain any memories, though he hoped he would, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to make some new ones of his own.

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #mcflyjuly #channeling my inner Eric Stoltz ''this movie is a tragedy'' thing with this one #MARTY IS STUCK IN A LIFE THAT ISN'T HIS #a family so vastly different from the ones he grew up with #a wonderful and secure and stable upbringing that HE DID NOT EXPERIENCE #!!!!!!! aughhhhhhfhufhadk;

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wakraya · 1 year ago

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My Experience With Roblox

Hey! Hi! Hello! I have just gone through some pretty frustrating stuff and I wanted to share some experiences I've had with the Scam Formerly Known As Roblox.

So let me tell you a little bit of a story.

Back in the day I used to be a small Roblox Creator. And when I say 'back in the day', I mean like a decade ago, before a lot of the current extremely shady monetization and exploitation practices weren't implemented yet. And mind you, there WAS the 'Builder's Club' and there was Buying Robux, but it wasn't as blatant, and you still had Tix as the Free Currency.

Roblox was a place where I found quite the community. I was still not all that good at English, and it was through interacting with others that I pretty much taught myself to speak English. I met some of my longest-lasting friendships, I had my first Hyperfixation... Hell- It even introduced me to Homestuck!

But then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.

And by the Fire Nation, I mean that Roblox updated something that broke several of the scripts inside of my game. It dropped without warning, without a Legacy option, and forced Creators to simply adapt and update. Now, it wasn't even anything too big- I believe all I had to do was add 2 lines of code to my scripts, and they'd be fixed.

But, you see. I was inspired to make my own place, because of the work of other Creators. A major inspiration, in fact, was a pretty legendary Bleach Fighting Game, whose... Maker hadn't been on in years.

That was the day I learned the words 'Backwards Compatibility' and realized that Roblox had unceremoniously broken a lot of classic things that now had no repair. Alongside security concerns and the increasing monetization of the place, I decided to simply leave and never look back.

... A few years back, I got an email, telling me that there'd been a successful login to my account.

I quickly got in, changed my password to complete nonsense, reiterated my distaste for the state of the site, and left.

I didn't think much of this event for half a decade, but today. Today I was trying to see if I'd gotten a verification email from a different thing, and I ended up rummaging my Spam Folder, only to find someone writing an email... Asking, politely, for trading of some of the limited items left on my archaic account.

Unsure if this was a scam or not, and wondering what 'cool' items I even could've had in my inventory (Apparently I've got some unique octopus that sells for 22K Robux or something? Shrug-) I decided to log into the site, and... Just on a whim, I checked my messages.

Every single message for the last several years going back were just scams, which truly speaks volumes to how the site had developed. But, more importantly. Going further back, I found people asking me to please come back, and fix the game... Or. 'Make it free'.

...

Apparently. Apparently. In the time I got hacked years ago. Before whoever did it changed my email or password. They had, effectively. Updated my old game, with a message that 'it was back', and monetized it.

Apparently for the past few years I've gotten an insignificant but existent stream of Robux from some poor kids or nostalgic people trying to get back into my game.

I immediately went to try and fix things, only to realize there were no Options to remove the 'pass', and I couldn't find a way to remove the monetization, either.

Now. Mind you. I was doing this on the Browser. Maybe from the client it would've been better, easier, and clearer, but let me tell you- I have not. Seen. SUCH a Hostile UI in my entire life trying to just. FIND what to do to stop this from happening, and eventually I just. Opted for privating and taking down the game entirely. It's broken anyway, after all.

Following that I tried to make a statement on the description of my account, only to see, in horror, that my 1000 word message turned entirely into ####### because apparently I'd written one too many banned terms, because I was, in fact, talking about my account getting hacked, and monetization.

I tried writing a few other messages, and I swear, that was one of the most aggressive content filters I've seen in my ENTIRE life. 'Consent', 'Whole', and several other completely innocent terms just constantly eaten by the censorship algorithm, making writing a new description one of the genuinely most frustrating experiences I've ever had with any website online.

So. I guess. There's not much I want to say here. I am mostly venting about what an awful, awful experience this whole thing is, but like... Seriously. The hacking and security was rampant back then, and I doubt it's any better now. Even if it was, the sheer scope of the scams and exploitation that this... Service is even allowed, is genuinely a Late-Capitalism Nightmare.

Anyway, that was a wretched experience, and as nostalgic as I am for Those Days, and as sure as I am that there's people who still love Roblox and who have made incredible friends through it...

That... Thing... Is a monument to Humanity's Hubris, and shouldn't exist-

#Roblox #Long Post #Longpost #Ranting

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trgdaily · 1 year ago

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Happy Anniversary, IDOLiSH7!

Alright! A bunch of stuff got announced to celebrate the series' 8th anniversary today, so lets break down the most important things regarding our favorite group, TRIGGER!

You've probably heard this stuff already but hey. I do what I want and I'm making this post anyway.

First up, let's get all the smaller 8th Anniversary stuff out of the way! Plenty of stuff has been changed and announced to help bring the series into its latest era, and all of it is very exciting!

Special Anniversary visuals by the series' main character designers have been shared and released!

... Also I feel like it's worth noting that Arina-sensei has made it clear that we've reached TRIGGER's numbers in terms of anniversaries, and that reflects in her art. Meaning, maybe it'll reflect in other things too...?!

The game is hosting weekly free 11-pulls which bring back Heavenly Visitor, Wish Voyage, Kiseki, Music in Your Thoughts, and Light Future cards! On top of that, there's a log-in bonus for nanakores and 80 Stellar Stones in total!

The game has been refreshed with a few new features like notifications on screen when you get a message from an idol/manager, more idol storage, and even special voice lines that play before a live, after an auto live finishes, and if you manage to full-combo the song. The "hey, there's an event going on" home screen line has been replaced, too, thank fuck.

A new Namjatown collab has been announced that covers the idol in glowy clothing!

The official website has been completely overhauled including brand-new bios for the idols!

Now, onto the really fun stuff...

Shuffle Units are back!!

As part of the yearly anniversary story, we're finally getting Shuffle Units including Re:vale and ZOOL! As of Producer Letter 26, it's been confirmed that these units will be themed and have special songs for each, but the themes haven't been shared yet! We may have to read the two-part story to find out!

Part 1 will release September 5th, and Part 2 will release September 15th! It won't be voiced, though. Voice acting will come at a later date.

Kuji Memorial Video & Cards!

What's likely the most surprising thing of all for the anniversary is that it's big surprise looks back on all of the dramas IDOLiSH7's cast have starred in over the last seven years - down to releasing an animated memorial video that covers everything from La Danse Macabre to the Last Dimension musical! There's a lot of shots of TRIGGER to spot, so if you haven't seen it yet, go watch it! It's pure emotional eye candy!

On top of that, the yearly revival gacha deals with it, too, featuring special UR cards that focus on specific scenes from Mechanical Lullaby, i7 Police, Hoshimeguri (now known in English as The Stargazer?), Karatoga, La Danse Macabre, Mission (Yamato's movie from Part 3), and BLAST! (Part 5 drama)

The best part is all the old cards, including the same kujis shown here, are in these pulls, too! Best of luck if you try to bring them home!

Producer Letter #26 Takeaways

As is tradition with i7 anniversaries, there's a new Producer Letter that goes over what the current and future plans for the series are that has a few interesting tidbits fans should be aware of! I'll break it down, but if you can, I suggest reading it in your own time.

The team is still figuring out what exactly comes "beyond the period" in terms of the story, so no updates on that just yet.

They're wanting to do another 16 person live, but they're trying to book a "difficult venue" so many fans can see it. Some fans believe this to be a hint that they're trying to book the Tokyo Dome. 😱 But 16 person live isn't an impossibility!

They've implies that they're working out international distribution and screening for the recent movie Beyond the Period! So sit tight if you haven't gotten a hold of it for yourself yet!

That's about it! Pretty damn big anniversary, isn't it?! Let's enjoy it to the fullest and keep supporting TRIGGER and their friends!!

Happy anniversary!! 🤍💖💙

#trg news #idolish7 #gaku yaotome #tenn kujo #ryunosuke tsunashi #don't mind me just trying to let other fans know this blog exists before twitter bites the dust-

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hotdamnmadison · 1 month ago

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Well geez. A year sure does fly by pretty quick, huh?

I feel a bit rusty - haven't blogged, journal'd, or yelled from a rooftop in quite a long time. Try and stick around for the ride (if you're reading this... or maybe I'm writing it for myself).

For those of you who care to doomscroll - you'll see that I took a hiatus from Tumblr, and from a lot of things. I wrote a pinned post (since swapped for this one), detailing all of the things I intended on working on. Finances, Mental State, Physical State, and Sexual Frustrations.... Here is how I made out.

Number one: I wasn't careful enough with my other self and unfortunately I was caught red handed at the beginning of this year. It got pretty messy and I've essentially tossed out my fem side. the 60/40 split male to female is now 100% male. No more panties, no more wigs.... all gone... more on this later (though if you disappear now I wouldn't blame you).

Finances - ugh... up and down. Currently down but never count me out. I won't bore anyone with the deets. Just know that my job relies heavily on my activity and effort. And I've dumped a ton of time into it. I am hoping to see the fruits of that labor very soon.

Mentally - Day by day I think. Today - not great. When I'm doing the things that I enjoy doing I'm obviously distracted and life is manageable. Pressures from work, bills, money, blah blah blah. Typically human stuff.

Physically - probably the only real bit of good news is in this section. No alcohol since early March, and fuck me has it been hard. Multiple weddings, parties, holidays, and free days where I could've bought a 12 pack or bottle if I really wanted to. But I didn't. And I haven't. And I won't. I've been running, exercising, and even competing a bit. I'm not binge drinking every day, and my body thanks me for it. Sleeping better. Waking up earlier. Not hungover all the time. Feels good.

Sexually - Yeah, again to reiterate the above I got busted stashing clothes and experimenting. Truthfully, it could've gone worse - but it was still ugly nonetheless. I'm really not experimenting at all these days. But every now and then - the days of old slip back into my mind. Hence why I logged back in today. I remember the parts of "madi" that I enjoyed (not the booze, not the secrecy)... I just loved being someone else for a while.

All in all - I'm alive and well for those who care to inquire. I had a lot of big plans back in December of last year. And honestly, I'm heading in the right direction for a lot of those goals... I'm not quite there yet. But I feel like I'm progressing little by little. And that has to count for something.

I felt semi guilty signing on and writing this - because it felt like sexual relapse. But as I'm writing and the thoughts are pouring out, I realized something. I'm allowed to have a fucking journal - and I'm allowed to have a private blog. I'm allowed to have a safe space. And I'm allowed to be here.

This doesn't mean I'm going to be super active on here, but I may sign on and enjoy my blog every now and again. Maybe relive some old posts, discussions, and see how may of you goobers are still active. Maybe I'll see how much of what I used to say and do I still actually agree with. Or maybe I'll be gone for another year. To be honest I really don't have a clue. And that's fine.

One day at a time, Madi. One day at a time. ❤️

#2025 here I come #hotdamnmadison

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nothing0fnothing · 7 months ago

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I want to tell a story about financial abuse and how I experienced it at different points in my life while being abused by narcissistic unfit parents and later my abusive ex partner.

This instance happened when I was 20 years old and freshly graduated from university.

I was living with my mum in the short term while I worked and waiting for my graduate course to begin. I only agreed to stay with her because she had told me she was in active therapy and she promised me living with her would be different this time.

It lasted for less than two weeks before we were back to her rage outs and her vile comments. But I'd just moved all my stuff in and it was only 3 months so I decided to stick it out.

One of her promises when I first agreed to move in was that she didn't expect me to pay rent. It's a massive faux pas in our culture to expect your adult children to pay rent to live with you and its not like my mother was hurting for money, so I believed her.

Four weeks before I was set to leave I lost my job. It wasn't a big deal. I had enough savings to get me to uni and a little extra for the short term.

My mum started to ask when I planned on getting another job. I told her probably after I enrolled in my course since I would only be in the city a few weeks now. She didn't like that. She told me that she had changed her mind, and now rent was expected in return for me living with her, and if I didn't have a job by end of week she'd evict me.

Obviously this was a fucking nightmare. Nobody was willing to hire somebody for 3 weeks and the jobs that would were scammy and predatory as fuck. My mum took my savings as "back rent" and made clear that the rent was not enough, I needed to be in 40 weekly hours of employment to live in her house.

Then, after days of constant abuse and horrible-ness she came to me with a new ultimatum. She had just joined a MLM scam and needed a downline. I could agree to be her downline or I could move out tomorrow.

I spent the last of my savings on the cheapest "starter kit" she offered and the next part of the job was to reach out to everyone on my Facebook friends list to offer them product. It was embarrassing and demeaning. It felt like I was begging people for money.

Over the last weeks I lived with my mum my routine was to be up into the early morning on facebook watching "inspirational" livestreams that the company broadcast from the other side of the world. I'd then sleep till no later than my mother's alarm to "network" (ie, sit on Facebook joining community groups) eat lunch, run errands then log back into Facebook to advertise the product to strangers until the companies started it's livestream at midnight my time. Where I'd take notes for my mother who'd gone to bed.

According to my mum I made £700 of sales that week. I never saw a penny of it. I was exhausted and I felt horrid about the whole situation, but it's not like I had a minute free to process my feelings. I was even expected to cancel my own therapy sessions while this was happening.

Three days before I was set to leave, my mum had a massive blow up at me and my sister. I'd "done something wrong" on the marketing side, caused Facebook to freeze our accounts.

It started at 7am. My mum screaming at my sister and slamming doors woke me up. Then the sound of her stomping down the corridor, punching the walls on her way down. Then she was in my room calling me a cunt and a bitch and stupid and god knows what else. I sat up and looked at her sleepily, but I could tell all she wanted was for me to be terrified like I was as a little girl, and I wasn't going to give it to her.

"You've stopped all the work" she raged at me "we can't work now we can't sell and it's all your fault."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" I said.

To be honest, I didn't and still don't accept that it was my fault. I think we were just joining a mass number of Facebook groups and advertising tat in them, obviously enough people had reported me for Facebook to take action. I wasn't going to jump through hoops to apologise for what any MLM scammer will tell you is a risk of the trade.

"What can you do? You've lost your own job, you've cost me mine, you're swanning off to university this week and you've left me with all this."

"Well if there's nothing I can do there's nothing I can do." I said plainly.

She mimed smacking me then said in a snarl I know she tried her best to seem menacing "you're not too old for a beating you know."

I laughed in her face.

She'd tried to beat me 2 years before when I was 18. I defended myself and she didn't like that, she came out of it just as bruised as I did and she never tried it again. She obviously thought that me being broke and sleep deprived would change the situation in her favor. We never found out because she stormed off angry.

I spent the last two days there with my sister. We went shopping and drinking and had a good time. I told her my flat would be waiting for her when she was 18 and legally able to move out. It was a good send off, all things considering.

When I left I left behind the untouched starter pack. My mum sold it for £15 on ebay. She never apologised to me, she never admitted she was in the wrong. If the attempted beating when I was 18 put us on the path to the relationship we have now, this 3 month experience living with her cemented it. I was open to an apology for years afterwards, but she didn't think I was owed one. Eventually I just stopped expecting it to come. I'm not going to forgive someone who isn't sorry.

#narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #financial abuse #emotionally immature parents #enotional abuse #parental abuse #narcissistic parents #vent post #toxic parents #complex trauma #dysfunctional family #toxic mom #dysfunctional household

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hotpotatoshealthjourney · 4 months ago

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A brief introduction to what multiple sclerosis (the main thing I have) is, from someone I follow on fb. She is very good at explaining things and very real about her struggles.

It’s been a rough week. Hopefully this coming week will be better. I had to cancel home health pt on Thursday (but managed to force myself to do it on Friday instead, but it was a major struggle). My body was just beat all week. Took at least one nap every day, most days at least 2 naps. So exhausted, so sore, so mentally worn out as well.

My doc put me back on 2 of my old anxiety meds that have worked for me in the past, so hopefully those work for me in the next few weeks. I could use the help. My depression is still at bay thankfully, but my anxiety is trying hard to beat me. I won’t let it. I’m stronger now than ever before and I *will* get through this.

Sir’s first week back at week is probably a big part of why the week was so rough. It made the anxiety get so much worse I’m sure, and definitely when my mind is struggling my body struggles more too. Tomorrow is a brand new week and I’m not going to bring last week’s problems with me into the new week.

Monday I am going to make at *least* 3 of the important phone calls I need to make (hopefully more, but it depends on how the first 3 go really). Depending on how those go, I might have some really good news financially that’ll cheer me up a lot. At worst, it won’t be any worse than I thought as of beginning of this past week. At best, it will save us thousands of dollars and get some nicer stuff that we wouldn’t have been able to afford for years and years. Fingers crossed!! I’ll update about it all after I make the calls.

Pt this week was primarily focused on balance. Stuff that to anyone with a normal-ish body seems crazy easy but for me was crazy difficult. “Ok so let go of the handles to your walkers, put your feet closer than shoulder width apart, no, closer than that too, good. Now stand there a bit looking forward. Good job! Now close your eyes and do it some more!” Omg so difficult. I really thought I was going to topple over several times. There was standing on one leg for like 2 seconds each over and over - I think she let me hold on gently for those. That was so hard, cuz my weak leg didn’t want to hold me up, but the other way my weak leg also didn’t want to lift up, so it was lose lose, hehe. Then the last balance thing was really more of a stretch and was the only part I enjoyed. Little slanted triangle thing she sat on the floor in front of me. I stand on it and it stretches my calves. Feels soooo nice.

We then did 3 different arm exercises with the weight rubber band thingies, then she left and I took a nap…I was out cold like 10 minutes after she closed the door behind herself, lol. Exhausting! And Sir keeps wondering why I don’t have the energy for sex lately. He’s been horny constantly lately, and keeps coming on to me, and most of the time I’ve either been just letting him fuck me cuz I’m too tired to resist, or telling him no cuz I’m just too tired to handle it at all. I feel bad for him, poor guy, and it’s not like I haven’t been horny, I’m just so fucking exhausted. I got my dose of Ritalin upped this week so hopefully that and the anxiety meds will eventually help. Hopefully. 🤞 I remain hopeful, which continues to amaze me given all that I’m going through. I’m truly proud of myself, honestly.

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sekhisadventures · 2 months ago

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Time and Fate

Dornogal, two days after the arrival of the fleet

Leza sighed, walking through the city, her arms holding her spellbook tightly to her chest. The portals to Orgrimmar and Stormwind had been established and Jaie had told her, quite empathetically, that her mother had told Leza’s parents they would be sending her back once she was free to go.

She was feeling very… uncomfortable about that. She was not looking forward to what her parents would say about her running off like that with just a single letter left behind. Sure, she was a grown woman now, eighteen years old after the previous summer… but… well… it would be awkward to say the least.

As she passed through the main part of town she saw the small open air building where the Explorer’s League had set up shop, a young looking man examining a strange object sitting on a table.

Curiosity got the better of her and she wandered over, ear flicking curiously.

“I just cannae figure out why it won’t open… I’m doin’ th’ runes right, but its still stubborn…” grumbled the explorer, poking at it with a fingertip.

The object in question was a box set with several objects like large six-sided dice, each one could be rotated up or down with the other two sides allowing an axel to hold it in place.

She peered at it, seeing the runes for Summer, Winter, Autumn, and Spring on it. The box was a bright vibrant green color, like a huge emerald.

The vulpera cocked her head, feeling something… “Wait…” she said, and without thinking she stepped forward. “Ya got it all wrong! Th’ color is what matters! Its bright green, like plants in summer!” she nodded, reaching for the runed cubes. She left ‘Summer’ alone, but flicked one around until it said ‘Flowers,’ then another until it showed the rune for ‘Blazing Sun,’ and the last one she turned until it said ‘Moonberry’ (which were harvested in the summertime.) The runes seemed to shine brighter, the vulpera’s ears flicking.

She drew her wand, then pointed it at the center of the box between all four, and pressed the tip to the object as she directed her will through it.

There was a loud click and the top half of the box swung open as if on hinges. Inside it was a titan-made disc, an object used by the world shapers to store information. Not a very big one, likely a personal log or diary, but a valuable piece of history all the same.

“Well now… I wouldnae have figured THAT out.” he chuckled, “Guess that’s what ye get when ye grow up in Dun Morogh. Our summer lasts ‘bout a month at best.”

The explorer turned to her, a young man around Leza’s age with dark skin and snow-white hair, wearing a pair of spectacles and a purple tunic and trousers, “Nicely done lass.” he nodded to her.

“Hehe… my teacher said that mages can feel magic if we listen right, so I’ve been praticin’ on stuff.” she grinned back, blushing a little at the praise.

The dwarven man held out his hand to her, “Dagran Thaurissan by th’ way.” he smiled.

She smiled back and took his hand, giving it a shake, “Leza. Just… Leza. Vulpera don’t really do last names.” she replied.

“Nice ta meet ye, Leza.” he nodded, carefully taking the disc out of the box. “Now, how’d ye like ta come ta th’ Archives with me ‘n we’ll see whats on this disc? It’d still be in th’ box if it wasn’t fer ye after all.”

Leza glanced up at the building where Dornogal’s Council made their chambers, where the portal back home was… but… she was in no hurry to face her parents, and she was curious about what the titan artifact could tell them.

“Sure!” she nodded, grinning wide. She’d been away from home for a few months now, whats a few hours more?

The Southwestern Coast of the Isle of Dorn

The Alliance and Horde were here. All along the coast their forces were preparing for war against Xal’atath and her minions in Azj-kahet. The Alliance and Horde had picked a large stretch of beach along the coastline for drills, training, and other military exercises… and many of the earthen had decided to join in, edicts be damned.

They had lived in Khaz Algar for countless years, since the Ordering of Azeroth began. The titans had vanished. The earthen had learned they were still alive out there in the Great Dark but were at the Seat of the Pantheon keeping watch over their rogue member, Sargeras. The corrupt titan was a powerful foe, and it took the others to maintain his imprisonment.

They wouldn’t be coming to Azeroth anytime soon. The earthen needed other allies if they were to save their home.

Thus, the Alliance and Horde. Many of the earthen didn’t know how to fight, they were craftsman and workers, builders and engineers, besides the Stormriders many of them had never even held a weapon unless they worked in the forges making them.

Now, they were forming ranks and marching along the beach. They were attacking wooden training dummies with blunted weapons as Overlord Geya’rah watched and barked instructions, the mag’har woman leading them in their drills. They were practicing martial arts forms and stances under the watchful guidance of Ji Firepaw and Aysa Cloudsinger. They studied magical rotes and techniques with the guidance of the Magisters of Silvermoon and the surviving magi of Dalaran as Grand Magister Rommath supervised (and occasionally used his own talents to prevent any magic from running rampant should one of these stony apprentices miscast a spell.)

The entire beach was a real gathering of the major players in both factions and while some watched each other warily, others were perfectly fine working with each other. Aysa and Ji were quite happy to see each other again, the pandaren man and woman now well into their thirties but acting almost like blushing teenagers at times around each other.

Up the coastline from the bulk of the fleet was the Glittering Prize, keeping a respectful distance from their forces. Grimo had been worried about what could happen if either navy got suspicious about the presence of a ship before they arrived on the island, but fortunately Gazlowe had vouched for him and explained that they were only here to rescue their friends who had been in Dalaran when it fell.

Some of the leaders weren’t thrilled when they found out the crew of the ship counted both members of the Alliance and Horde… but Brann spoke up in their defense as well. The Explorer’s League had a reputation after all.

Right now the ship had five of their number on it. Nelen Fullmoon was on the deck on a hastily set up table with Dareley Steelhammer, Mola’raum, and Grimo Blamstick standing around it. Sitting on the table was the stone that Mograine had given Mola’raum when he returned to Acherus.

“So yah bruddahs, pass it around ta de odders too. Anyone see Garnal, dey tell me. I use de stone, Garnal stops bein’ a problem.” he nodded firmly.

Nelen shuddered as he felt the aura of death and dominance magicks coming off the stone. It felt like standing in the middle of a graveyard to the magus. “I’d heard of these ‘Reapers,’ but only occasionally. Honestly… I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any death knights going rogue that I can remember.” he mused, “They must get pretty bored.” he chuckled.

Mola’raum smirked, “Nah mon, we had about five of ‘em durin’ wut be happenin’ back on de Dragon Isles.” he replied, “One of ‘em even went nuts in de Zalarek Caverns.”

Nelen cocked his head, “Really? I don’t remember hearing about that…”

Mola’raum nodded, his expression darkening. “Dats because dey really fookin’ good at wut dey do. Couple people mighta gone missin’, but all it took was one o’ us gettin’ back ta Acherus ‘n raisin’ de alarm… ‘n dey got reaped.” he nodded firmly his new weapon resting on his shoulder.

Ever since the days when he’d first become a Knight of the Ebon Blade he had used a long runespear, a trusted serviceable weapon whose head was etched with the runes that gave him his necromantic power… but fighting Garnal told him it was time for an upgrade.

Now he held a weapon that had a long sturdy shaft and blades that were a foot and a half long and sturdy… but at BOTH ends. Looted from the corpse of a demon on the Broken Isles during the Legion’s final invasion, a smaller version of the glave weapons favored by the fearsome annihilan demons.

“… I dunnae like it. He should have ta face justice fer his crimes. Trial in Stormwind is th’ proper way ta do it.” rumbled Dareley, his stony arms folded over his chest as he shuddered a bit at the sight of the stone.

Mola’raum snorted, “Oh sure mon. Lock de crazy death knight up in th’ Stockade. Den a few months later people gonna be wonderin’ where dat fookin’ plague came from.” he retorted, “De Ebon Blade polices its own shortmon. We be handlin’ dis… ‘n when we handle it, de problem STOPS.” he nodded firmly.

Grimo stubbed out his cigar on the table, the goblin frowning. “I’m with Mola. I ain’t fought this Garnal fucker yet, but he almost killed five of us now. Fel, Steelhammer you of all people oughta be on board with this after what he pulled at th’ Awakening Machine!” he pointed out, sticking a fingertip forever stained in motor oil at the dwarf.

Dareley harrumphed, “I suppose th’ important thing is he won’t be hurtin’ people nae more… But I still dunnae like it…” he shook his head, then he paused as he heard footsteps coming up the gangplank.

Jeemjazo walked into view as Murgly Jim peered over his shoulder at them from his usual place on the vulpera’s back.

“Ey mon.” nodded Mola’raum as he put the reaperstone back in his bag. “Thought ya be goin’ back ta workin’ with da navy now dat dey here.”

Jeemjazo shrugged, “Ehhh… I met up with me captain, but she said th’ crew is effectively on Shore Leave. Doesn’t take a whole crew ta maintain a ship in dock, ‘n we dunno when we’re leavin’ th’ Isle. Said ta keep an ear out for th’ call to muster, but otherwise we’re bein’ stood down fer now.”

Grimo shrugged, “Eh, I ain’t complainin’. Honestly if Ed hadn’t already signed ya on with th’ Navy I’d consider askin’ ya to man this thing full time.” he replied.

Jeemjazo grinned at the goblin, “A fine offer matey, but its gotta be th’ captain who does it, ‘n I don’t see Ed around.” he teased.

Grimo scowled at him, “Oh come th’ fuck on! Its not like we even got the stuff to fire Titanslammer now!”

“Small blessin’ there… that mess turned what few black hairs I still had as a dwarf white.” chuckled Dareley as he ran his hand over the glossy black wire that made up his ‘hair’ now with an audible squeak of stone on metal.

Nelen and Mola’raum laughed at that as Grimo’s frown deepened, the goblin’s cheeks coloring. “Fuck. All. Of. You.” he spat out each word, turning on his heel and stomping into the ship as, from the interior, emerged Jaie Swiftpaw. The pandaren watched him storm past, then shrugged and walked over to the rest of the group.

“Hey everyone, I was about to start planning dinner. Any requests?” she asked with a smile. The pandaren woman loved cooking and wanted to make sure as many of her friends got to enjoy their favorites when she could.

As she did Jeemjazo happened to glance up, then cocked his head and walked around the group to the far end of the deck. “What th’…” he muttered, “Oi, mateys! What do ye make o’ that?” he asked, pointing out over the ocean.

A flock of seagulls had taken off from a nearby outcropping in the sea… and come to a dead stop in midair. Their wings were frozen in the act of beating, their eyes focused on the heavens...

Jaie blinked in surprise, “Uh… I don’t know Jeem.” she replied, walking over next to him and gazing up at them. “I know some of our mages are teaching the earthen how to fight with magic, maybe one of the apprentices misfired something?” she tried.

Mola’raum looked up at it, then narrowed his eyes and looked around as he noticed something.

They were far enough away from the fleet to not get in their way, but they could still hear the training drills from the beach where they were.

Except, suddenly, he couldn’t.

The death knight walked to the ship’s bow, looking out and shading his eyes with one hand. “… hey everybuddy. Somethin’ be wrong.” he called back.

Nelen walked quickly over to join him and looked out as well… the magus seeing the troops and recruits on the beach. Like the seagulls, none of them were moving at all. Frozen like so many toy soldiers.

“They’re all stopped.” he frowned, gesturing with one hand as a rune flashed above his digits, his eyes going wide. “TIME has stopped! EVERYONE! BATTLE STATIONS!”

Dareley’s sword and shield all but flew into his hands as Mola’raum gripped his spear, the runes glowing with a sinister green glow. Jaie slipped into a battle stance, her head snapping around back and forth, and Jeemjazo drew his sword and axe as well as Murgly Jim made a loud gurgly sound and jumped down from his eggshell seat onto the deck of the ship, drawing his wand as well.

They all looked around frantically, the hairs on Nelen’s neck standing up. Now that he was aware that someone was using it, he could feel it all around them. Like invisible motes of sand swirling around their bodies. Chronomancy.

Then the feeling shifted, and in an instant the bookish mage was a huge worgen in a set of robes as he thrust his arms out towards Jaie, his claws crackling with arcane power. “JAIE! DODGE!” he barked as a blast of arcane energy shot past her just as a swirling portal of sand appeared.

The pandaren ducked and rolled forward as the wave of power shot through where her head had been a moment before towards the portal, which immediately winked out of existence as another opened behind Mola’raum who felt it before he saw it, holding the glave and thrusting it back behind him, the portal snapping just as the tip passed by it.

Suddenly there were several snapping sounds and a whole circle of them surrounded the entire deck, the group running to the middle and standing back-to-back.

“TH’ FECK IS GOIN’ ON?!” yelped Jeemjazo, holding his weapons ready as his tail thrashed behind him.

“Its Nyloc! It has to be!” growled Nelen. “Laura warned us when she found the book that Chromie said we’d run into him again soon!”

Then, from one of the portals a blast of gray light came out, seeming to leech life from the air around it as it soared straight towards Nelen!

The worgen man let out a yelp of surprise and tried to raise an arcane shield… but something else dove infront of him and thrust out its arms and the beam of entropic energy struck Dareley full on!

The group cried out as the other portals vanished and Nyloc Athel appeared on the deck of the Glittering Prize, channeling an eon’s worth of entropy into the paladin! “Finally got one of you.” he sneered… then he paused as he realized something.

By now Dareley would normally be a skeleton, or even dust… but nothing was happening to him! Nyloc scowled and stepped back, a look of shock on his face.

Dareley stood there, with a few loose fibers from a tabard and the rust from a set of armor that had aged a thousand years in a few seconds… but otherwise totally unhurt!

He smirked at him, “I wondered if that might work.” chuckled the Paladin, “Earthen don’t age lad. Yer magic won’t do SHITE ta me!” he nodded, flexing his fingers as he waited for another spell from the Nightborne man. The armor would have to be replaced, but he could do that fine, the shield and sword were special to him though. He’d thrown them to the side right before he’d protected the mage.

Nyloc scowled and raised his hands, then lashed out with a blast of accelerated time at Nelen, but Dareley blocked it again using his body and, again, it had no effect. The titans built their creations to last!

As Dareley ran interference the other four sprang into action and dove for Nyloc, the magus leaping backwards into another time portal and coming out on the other side of the ship as he readied another burst of time, only to find Dareley diving infront of him again… but this time Nyloc sneered and made a complicated gesture, grasping at the air with his hand.

Sand swirled around the paladin’s body, and then a bubble of it appeared around him as Dareley swore and tried to jump free… then suddenly froze. He was still moving inside it, but so slowly that it almost looked like he was standing still. Nyloc couldn’t age him, but he could TRAP him!

As he did however there was a thunder of footsteps as Mola’raum and Jaie charged him together, the chronomancer snarling and blasting out at them with a burst of entropy!

Mola’raum’s body glowed with unholy light as an anti-magic barrier shattered the spell on impact and Jaie rolled to the side, the pandaren woman leaping to her feet, then kicking off the deck of the ship and diving at him with her foot thrust out! She let out a wordless battle cry as she sailed through the air, her kick aimed directly at Nyloc’s head! The Suramar man let out a strangled cry and vanished in a swirl of sand as Jaie let out a yelp of alarm and managed to grab the ship’s railing as she sailed past, flipping herself back onto the deck before she flew straight off the Glittering Prize entirely!

Nyloc reappeared on the bow of the ship… and then vanished as a blast of arcane power sizzled through the air where he’d been. He reappeared next to the ship’s wheel, then his eyes widened and he conjured a barrier of pure entropic power as a loud bang echoed, a musket ball impacting the shield. A second later a few flakes of rust pattered against his robes before drifting to the floor.

“Give up Nyloc! You can’t defeat all of us at once!” shouted Nelen as the mage gestured with his claws and suddenly five of him stood on the deck, all of them preparing to unleash a salvo of arcane missiles upon the chronomancer.

Nyloc gritted his teeth in frustration. He’d thought he’d picked his time well, but there were almost no times when the adventurers were alone! There were only four of them here now, six if you counted Jeemjazo and Murgly Jim (which Nyloc didn’t. As far as he was concerned, they were the help.) He was a nobleman of Suramar! This shouldn’t be HARD!

“Why are you doing this?” shouted Jaie, “Why do you want us dead so badly?”

Nyloc frowned, but he didn’t dare reveal the prophecy of his demise that the Last Moment had revealed to him. If they knew that the members of Avalon and Savage United were his foreseen doom, they may well go all in and try to finish him!

“Dammit, I had hoped to avoid the Bronze Dragonflight’s gaze… but…” he reached into his pouch, then pulled out the Perfect Chance, “SO BE IT!” he shouted, gripping the gemstone tightly as he focused hard on it.

The boat shook as he channeled his power into the relic, “Grant me victory! Find me the timeline where I succeed! I COMMAND YOU!” he roared, the gemstone trembling in his grip.

The group stumbled as the boat shook, all of them looking around to see…

… Nelen dead with his heart withered in his chest, but Nyloc impaled on Mola’raum’s spear…

… Mola’raum reduced to a skeleton, but still alive and still fighting as Jaie struck from behind and shattered Nyloc’s spine…

… Jaie laying on the deck dead with pure white fur and sunken features from having aged a century in a second as Nelen blew Nyloc apart with arcane power in his fury…

… Mola’raum reduced to a pile of Dust as Jaie’s sudden kick smashed Nyloc’s knee and Nelen unleashed an arcane barrage at point blank range…

… Nelen collapsed on the deck, not dead but so old he could no longer fight or even remember what he had been fighting, lost in the grip of senility as Dareley broke free and smashed Nyloc’s face with his stone fists…

Sweat poured down the chronomancer’s face as he focused harder, the group stumbling as reality seemed to waver around them… but the Perfect Chance couldn’t find the timeline where Nyloc won out despite being outnumbered six to one! It could find him that perfect one-in-a-million chance but he was up against heroes who had survived the Cataclysm, the Legion, and more besides. One-in-a-million? Maybe one in ten million, if not more! Alone, his odds of winning were so low that the relic couldn’t find his success!

He snarled, “OBEY ME RELIC! GRANT ME VICTORY!” he demanded, slapping his hands together over it and focusing all his power on it… and the world seemed to shake around them all.

Time vibrated around them, the very air seeming to tremble… and suddenly the whole of reality seemed to twist and thrash around as sand swirled around the entire ship, blocking the Isle of Dorn from view!

Nyloc cried out in shock and pain as the Perfect Chance suddenly flashed with power, falling to the deck with steam rising off it as he stumbled backwards, catching himself against the ship’s railing. “W-what the…” he looked around, his eyes wide. “No… a paradox!” he gasped, snatching up the Perfect Chance and quickly stuffing it back into his pouch as he conjured a shield of real time around his body as fast as he could!

A paradox. The most feared outcome for those who practiced Chronomancy. The timelines could only abide so much tampering… and when a time wizard’s hubris got the better of them, they would lash out!

Dareley stumbled out of the time trap with a gasp of shock, looking around. Even though it had only been seconds he saw everyone around him moving in a blur… then time wobbled and he was shocked to come face to face with himself!

Except, this Dareley was still a dwarf, and clad in armor as black as night with glowing blue eyes and bone white hair and skin. The new Dareley raised a sword and pointed it at the earthen man, the runes glowing a baleful icy glow.

Dareley the earthen stumbled back, “Wot th’ bloody fel…” he whispered in disgust at the sight.

The other Dareley didn’t know where he was. He had been patrolling the lands of Lordaermourne for the few living who still resisted Lord Arthas’ rule, and suddenly he saw a statue of his former self as a paladin come to life… his former self who had died trying and failing to rescue Misti when the city fell to the Scourge.

He growled, the memory of his failure and death sharpening his focus, then he raced forwards and brought his sword down just as Dareley managed to reclaim his sword and shield, the earthen bringing the former up just in time to block the runeblade!

“DARELEY!” shouted Jaie as she raced to his defense, then there was a snap and another Jaie appeared before her.

This one wore the tatters of an old martial artist’s outfit and still had long hair however… and its body swirled black and white. The new Jaie’s eyes were wide and even a quick glance was enough to tell that this pandaren was quite insane.

Jaie yelped and ducked back as her darker-self lashed out at her, not a martial artist’s technique but a mad swipe with her claws! It roared wordlessly and charged at her! This version of Jaie was caught in the throes of sha-corruption to the point where she had regressed to a feral state!

Mola’raum’s head snapped back and forth, taking in the sight of their allies fighting what could only be seen as their evil twins! “Da fook be goin’ on?!” he shouted.

“A paradox!” replied Nelen as he tried to aim a barrage of arcane power at the death knight version of Dareley, but he was still too close to their version! “Whatever Nyloc was trying to do caused time to warp! The spell can’t tell which of us is from this timeline, so its pulling versions of us from other timelines!” he shouted.

Mola’raum scowled, raising his glave, then time wobbled again and he brought it up just as another blade came down, the troll’s long powerful leg smashing into the creature that had appeared before him.

It stumbled back, then looked up. It was once a troll, but now it was a dark shape in twisted soulforged armor, it’s eyes glowing pinpricks in a helmet as it held a massive greataxe ready, the armor and blade glowing blue with runes of domination etched into the metal. In its timeline the heroes of the Alliance and Horde had failed to stop Zovaal at Zereth Mortis… and now all served the will of the Jailer.

“Fook dis mon…” whispered Mola’raum as he got a glimpse of what could have been. “Nelen! Ya be de wizard ‘n dis be magic! DO SOMETHIN’ WOLFMON!” shouted the troll as he dove forward, his weapon’s tip sending up a shower of sparks on the mawforged breastplate as it struck home!

Nelen scowled, his arms raised above his head as he gritted his teeth, “What do you THINK I’m doing Mola’raum?!” he retorted, his hands glowing with arcane power. He was trying to channel an unravelling into the spell Nyloc had been trying to cast, but it wasn’t working! Nyloc’s spell had gone haywire! Nelen couldn’t break it because it was already broken!

Then he heard a roar from behind him, “OH FEL!” he snapped, vanishing as another worgen tore through the air where he’d been, landing on all fours as Nelen reappeared behind where he had been.

This worgen was clearly Nelen, but in this timeline he’d never been brought back to sanity. He was nude, his claws and muzzle caked with dried blood, his eyes wide and wild as he roared and raced forward on all fours towards the magus!

Up on the deck Nyloc watched, a swirling shield of temporal energy preventing the shattered casting from reacting to his own presence, but he couldn’t do anything else.

A thought occurred to him however that he didn’t need to, strictly speaking. In a roundabout way, the Perfect Chance had given him what he sought. The darker twins of his enemies would either kill them, or at least weaken them enough for him to finish them. All he had to do was let that happen.

All but Jeemjazo… Nyloc noticed he wasn’t getting the same treatment. Perhaps there simply weren’t any dangerous versions of him that the broken spell could drag into this timeline?

Below the vulpera man was against the railing, his eyes huge as he saw his allies go head-to-head with themselves! “W-what th’ feck…” he stammered, his tail fluffed out and his ears folded back as, next to him, Murgly Jim held his wand tight with both flippers… but he couldn’t make it work here. The paradox was cancelling out his power to connect to the Shadowlands and call his ancestors!

“MURGLBLURLGL!” shouted the murloc as he tried to focus his wand on one pair, then another, then another. Dareley blocking another blow from his death knight self’s sword, Mola’raum’s glave shaft parrying a blow from the mawsworn’s axe, Jaie dodging and ducking as her sha-corrupted clone tried to disembowel her with her claws, and Nelen doing his best to avoid the same from a feral version of himself!

Jeemjazo whined… then paused and whined again experimentally. He noticed it had an odd stereo effect…

He looked to his left, then to his right… and saw three more Jeemjazo on either side of him. “This shite is gettin’ worse…” whispered Jeemjazo.

“Yer right about that matey…” replied Jeemjazo.

“Its all fecked now.” nodded Jeemjazo.

“All gone wibbly wobbly. All timey-wimey.” agreed Jeemjazo.

“So th’ feck do we do?” asked Jeemjazo.

“Fecked if I know…” muttered Jeemjazo.

“Oi. Anyone else’s pocket feel tingly?” asked Jeemjazo.

The seven of Jeemjazo looked between himselves, then together he reached into his pockets, and each Jeemjazo pulled out the coin he’d found in the cave. The coin of fate, as the ghost had called it.

“Is it just me or is this bloody thing vibratin’?” asked Jeemjazo.

“Aye, mine is too.” nodded Jeemjazo.

“Almost like it wants us to… do something with it…” commented Jeemjazo.

“Like what? Piss off ta Dornogal ‘n hit th’ pub?” asked Jeemjazo.

“… try flippin’ it?” suggested one.

The other six looked at him.

“What? The ghost called it th’ Coin o’ Fate. Well… time’s fecked, lets try fate!” tried Jeemjazo.

The other six looked between himselves.

“… it couldn’t hurt. I mean worst case nothin’ yippin’ happens.” offered Jeemjazo.

“Worst case Evil Nelen notices us ‘n eats us alive.” frowned Jeemjazo.

“… or Evil Dareley turns is inta zambies.” pointed out Jeemjazo.

“Evil Jaie could make us all spooky like she is.” nodded Jeemjazo.

“I don’t wanna feckin’ KNOW what Evil Mola would do.” shuddered Jeemjazo.

The seven of him looked at the chaos infront of them, then as one they shrugged, then held out their hand with the coin resting on their thumb…

“Here goes nothin’…” said Jeemjazo… and then Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, and Jeemjazo flipped the Coin of Fate.

The coins swished through the air, then they landed with a clatter of metal.

Maybe it was fate, maybe it was luck, but all seven came up heads and Jeemjazo felt a sudden rush through his body! “W-what th’ feck?!” he yipped in shock, and then suddenly there was just one Jeemjazo. He felt different though… as if fate was smiling on him somehow… and suddenly he just knew exactly what to do!

He looked up at Nyloc, the chronomancer overseeing the carnage, and narrowed his eyes before reaching down and snatching up Murgly Jim as the murloc let out a surprised gurgle. Jeemjazo tossed him into his backpack in a single move before racing to the stairs up to the wheel!

He dove and rolled as the feral version of Nelen sailed over him in pursuit of his sane counterpart, then raised his cutlass and axe in time to knock away the death knight dwarf’s weapon as he raced forward!

Nyloc noticed this, the chronomancer raising his eyebrow, but he couldn’t attack him without lowering his defenses. It took all his concentration to maintain the shield protecting himself from the paradox.

The maddened version of Jaie dove forward and slammed into her uncorrupted self, knocking the pandaren monk back onto the ground, preparing to move in for the kill! Jeemjazo saw this and leapt into the air, kicking off the darker version of Dareley’s head causing him to stumble as he sailed over her, held his weapons out, and spun in midair as Murgly Jim let out a loud gargled cry and held on for dear life! He landed on his feet and kept running as, behind him, the sha-corrupted Jaie screamed and clutched at her shoulder as blood soaked her clothes and fur where the axe and cutlass had bitten into her… before Jaie leapt to her feet and kicked away her starcursed clone!

Nyloc stared at that, “What?! Who is that vulpera?!” he snarled as Jeemjazo reached the stairs and raced up them, beelining towards him!

Nyloc looked around, then lowered his shield for just a moment, preparing to cast a spell that would reduce the vulpera to a fossilized skeleton… but Jeemjazo felt as if he knew precisely what to do! If he followed this instinct, he knew that he wouldn’t fail!

“OI! FANCYARSE!” shouted the vulpera as he gripped his weapons tightly, then leapt into the air and prepared to strike at Nyloc’s chest as the sorcerer prepared a blast of entropy that the vulpera was too close to dodge.

The coin of fate trembled in Jeemjazo’s pocket.

Nyloc’s felt a shiver through his body, Time and Fate clashing head on in a way only a chronomancer could sense, and then he looked around as he was suddenly surrounded! “HOW?!” he shouted in shock!

“I called heads, that’s how!” grinned Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, Jeemjazo, and Jeemjazo. Then all seven of him struck at once!

There was a flash of steel and Jeemjazo’s cutlass bit into Nyloc’s thigh as Jeemjazo’s axe sliced into Nyloc’s arm and Jeemjazo’s foot lashed out and kicked at the back of Nyloc’s knee and Jeemjazo’s cutlass scored across the back of his hand causing his spell to fly wide as the flat of Jeemjazo’s axe slammed into Nyloc’s ear causing the world to spin around him as Jeemjazo slammed the hilt of his cutlass into Nyloc’s midsection knocking the wind out of him.

The chronomancer cried out in pain, stumbling backwards and catching himself on the railing of the ship, blood dripping from his wounds as he tried to keep from vomiting from his inner ear spinning. He looked up to see Jeemjazo standing there, and he wasn’t sure if there were still seven of him or if he was just seeing double from the blow to his head.

He was sure that Jeemjazo had his pistol aimed at him, however many of him there were.

“NOW GET TH’ FECK OFF ME SHIP!” he snarled, pulling the trigger.

Nyloc only just managed to block the bullet with a wave of entropy, disintegrating it again, but it was all he could manage. He growled… but he couldn’t risk staying anymore. It would take all he had, and he risked another paradox, but he could feel the blood pooling in his robes and knew his leg would need a healer. The cutlass felt like it had almost struck bone!

He smashed outwards with a blast of entropy as Jeemjazo yelped and rolled out of the way, then he slammed his hand down and sand swirled around him as he vanished from the deck of the Glittering Prize, fleeing into the timelines once more!

Jeemjazo got to his feet, grinning. “HAH! First Mate Jeemjazo saves th’ day!” he laughed, his arms folded over his chest. “What do ye think of THAT mateys?” he asked, looking onto the deck... then his smile blew out like a candle. “Er… wait… why are they still here?” he asked.

Down below the four adventurers were still locked in combat with their darker selves! Dareley’s stone body had been chipped in several places, the paladin’s armor no longer able to protect him as it had been aged into rust by Nyloc’s spell! He was doing his best to defend himself, but the death knight version fought with an unholy zeal strong enough to match the earthen’s deep faith in the Light!

Shadow-Jaie was injured, but still fought with the strength of a maniac as she tried to claw apart her uncorrupted self, her mad eyes focused only on her. She could tell this Jaie had never been caught in the grip of sha-corruption, and she HATED her for being what she was never allowed to be!

Mawsworn Mola’raum was bound to serve Zovaal, and he would strike down any who defied his master. He knew that this version of himself stood against the Jailer, and he would see him cast into Torghast and punished for it… it was Lord Zovaal’s will after all. He lashed out with his axe again as Mola’raum snarled in defiance and dodged around the blow, jabbing with his glave at the gaps in his armor.

Nelen could only dodge his feral self, the worgen’s claws and fangs able to tear him open with ease. He could just abandon his humanity and fight him monster to monster, but the other Nelen was a better monster! He knew he’d lose!

Jeemjazo gripped the railing, “OI! We got rid o’ yer boss! CLEAR OFF ALREADY!” he shouted, taking out his pistol and frantically reloading it as Murgly Jim let out a terrified gurgle from next to his ankles.

But it didn’t matter. They weren’t here because Nyloc had brought them here. They were here because Nyloc’s spell had gone wrong! He had no control over whether they stayed or not! Jeemjazo had prevented the chronomancer from doing any more damage, but that was all!

The vulpera raised his pistol and tried to take aim at them, but the deck was in chaos! He couldn’t tell where to aim! “Shite… what do we do?!” he shouted, looking around… but seeing only himself. The coin of fate’s power was spent. He was on his own, figuratively and literally now!

Then, from above, the swirling sands covering the ship shattered open and a shape landed on the deck. A tall reptilian woman with blue and white scales and bright red garments, her eyes glowing like a pair of pink quartz gemstones.

Laurelgosa spread her wings and thrust out her claws, letting out a roar as sand swirled around her hands, the dome around them flowing towards her as she drew it into herself. “Everyone! Brace yourselves!” she called out, then she rose into the air, took a deep breath, and shot forward in a tight circle around the deck.

As she flew she roared, and a wave of temporal energy erupted forth from her mouth! She passed over each combatant, and as she did the ones that Nyloc’s failed spell had dragged here were blasted back out of this timeline, disappearing in a cloud of sand! Laurelgosa had been studying the book of the Chronowardens every chance she got, and now she was putting what she’d learned to use!

The four twisted versions of her allies banished, she landed on the deck and in a swirl of flames became Laura Brightflame once more. “Apologies everyone. I was in Gundargaz when I felt what had happened. I flew here as fast as I could, but it took longer than I had hoped. Are you all unhurt?” she asked.

Nelen sagged as he shrank back into a human, holding himself up with his stave. He had to teleport several times in quick succession to avoid being savaged and for even an experienced mage that was not easy. “Just… need a moment…” he gasped. The other three were in a similar state.

Dareley flopped down onto the deck, taking a deep breath as he reached into a pouch and pulled out a gemstone he’d purchased in Dornogal, popping it into his mouth. As he crunched it up the cracks and chips in his stone body began to seal back up.

Mola’raum sheathed his runeglave, then nodded. “Ya… had ta fight a really fookin’ nasty me… but I be fine.” he replied.

Jaie shuddered, remembering her darker self’s expression… and how much it had reminded her of Xiaren. Even though she was their enemy, Jaie couldn’t help imagining how much pain she must’ve endured… and now she saw a glimpse of how well she would have handled the same.

Apparently, not well at all.

Laura frowned, looking around the ship, “Where is Nyloc?” she asked, her hand going to her sword hilt.

Jeemjazo walked down the stairs, grinning, “Ye can thank ME fer that one matey!” he nodded, “Sorted him right out ‘n threw his fancy arse off th’ ship meself.”

Laura cocked her head at him. “Truly?” she asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

“Aye! Ask them! They saw it!” he insisted, pointing around at the others.

Nelen shrugged, having pulled out his waterskin and taken a long gulp of it, the mage wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I mean, I felt Jeemjazo do something… but I was a bit busy trying not to be torn limb from limb by a feral worgen.” he replied.

“He did distract that sha-corrupted me I was fighting with a very impressive strike to its shoulder… but I didn’t see anything else.” nodded Jaie.

Both Mola’raum and Dareley shrugged, the two of them having been too focused on their own foes to worry about it.

Jeemjazo sagged, his ears drooping. “None of ye saw… magic coin? Seven o’ me? Slit Nyloc right up?” he asked.

Nelen gestured around to the now very damaged deck, Jaie giving him an apologetic smile, “… it was a very well executed shoulder hit that I saw…” she offered.

Jeemjazo let out a whine and hung his head as Murgly Jim looked up at him, then gave him a sympathetic pat on the leg. “Murble…” gurgled the murloc.

Laura looked around, “So… all of you fought yourselves from other timelines? That was all?”

Dareley snorted, “It was quite enough fer me lass… what do ye mean ‘that was all?’”

Laura frowned, rubbing her chin with a finger as she looked down. “The amount of temporal energy I felt was enough to truly warp time. I am just… surprised that was all that happened. It could have pulled all sorts of things from other timelines. We are fortunate it was just those that you fought.” she explained.

Nelen nodded, “Laura is right. Chronomancy isn’t my specialty, but I could feel how powerful that spell was… we should probably keep our eyes open the next few days at least. Whatever damage the paradox did may still be coming.”

As he said this the door to the galley opened and Grimo walked out, a bottle of Zhan-min’s ale in his hand. He took a swig, then looked around at the damage the fight had caused and grunted. “Th’ fuck happened?” he asked.

The others stared at him.

“Nothing happened to you?” asked Nelen in an incredulous tone. “Nyloc came back and he used the Perfect Chance to warp time, but the spell went haywire and pulled alternate versions of us that we all had to fight off.” he explained.

“… ‘n I did somethin’ really bloody amazin’ that NOBODY saw…” grumbled Jeemjazo as he leaned against the wall next to Grimo, sulking.

“… yes and that… but… nothing happened to you?” asked Nelen again. “No… I dunno… evil version of you that you fought?”

Grimo shrugged, “Nope, just ate th’ last of th’ fish jerky ‘n drank a bottle ‘n a half of ale.” he replied, sounding confused.

Mola’raum raised an eyebrow, “I tink Grimo didn’t fight his evil-self because dat Grimo be our Grimo.”

Jaie snorted back a laugh as Dareley chuckled, Grimo just holding up a hand and giving the death knight a very rude gesture. “Fuck you Mola.” he frowned.

Grimo got out his notepad and after managing to shake Jeemjazo out of his sulk the two of them took stock of the damage that the ship had taken during the fight as Jaie went back inside to dress her wounds before getting to work on the food. Yes they had just had a harrowing experience, but she was a pandaren and she wouldn’t allow her friends to go hungry no matter what had happened.

Still, this was a very strange thing to happen and it begged a question… why did Nyloc attack them now? Why hadn’t he struck when they were separated before the Glittering Prize ever got to the Isle of Dorn?

Did Xal’atath’s blocking spell block even time travel? Was Nyloc forced to wait it out? Avalon and Savage United may have defeated Dissonantia during their time on the Dragon Isles… but their rogue’s gallery seemed to be expanding regardless and now they knew there were at least four foes on the island.

Alalestria had arrived, though she insisted that she would keep to Lord Lor’themar’s orders to leave Samantha alone. Nyloc had returned, and as far as the group knew could return again whenever he desired… literally whenever.

They still knew naught of what became of Dissonantia’s surviving demonic allies as well. Gremori, Az’arad, and Cenoon could be anywhere on Azeroth or even in the Twisting Nether, and they didn’t know if they would return for revenge or not.

Lastly, of course, Xal’atath herself… not their foe personally, but enemy to all who called Azeroth home was deep below them in the shadowy realm of Azj-kahet. She had clearly recruited the aid of others who were sympathetic to her cause, or who she could manipulate somehow, and two of those now had reason to see Avalon and Savage United as their enemies.

Garnal and Xiaren had been driven back by Sekhi finding the power to sing with Azeroth’s voice, the power of the Radiant Song seeming to counter their own dark gifts from the Harbinger, but the vulpera couldn’t do it whenever she wanted to. Even if she could, she ran the risk of losing her voice permanently, and would she lose that power too if she did?

Their time on the Dragon Isles had been as much adventure as anything else… but the Isle of Dorn was proving a far more dangerous locale. Only time would tell just how dangerous it would become.

#warcraft fanfiction #warcraft #adventures in azeroth #world of warcraft #the war within

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yum-is · 5 months ago

Text

Laika - Short Story

[Personal Log - Subject 12.1.9.11.1 - Barkley, L.] - 03.11.2057

The launch was successful. That should be obvious. That’s the nice thing about personal logs, I can say obvious stuff like that without having to deal with condescending scientists being, well, condescending.

I’ve never been beyond the reinforced walls of Mos Station. I’ve spent so long staring out the viewports and wondering at what might be waiting beyond the glow of dead stars. The closest star is still Sol, perched at the center of our home system. I can’t turn to see it. I’m not allowed to move out of this chair except to briefly stand.

In the old days, back on Earth, launches were supposedly strenuous things. I’m not a scientist, but I’ve done my research. I know all about g forces and atmospheric interference and thrust. Well. In theory. I don’t fully understand it.

Maybe that’s what makes this all so incredible. This mission is going to be the farthest a sentient, living being has ever traveled away from our home planet. It’s a groundbreaking scientific achievement. Hundreds of millions of dollars have gone into this, years of engineering and training. A scientist would’ve been the obvious choice for the mission. Maybe one that’s actually seen Earth.

Instead, they chose me.

I’m not sure why, but it makes me feel special. I’m just another orphan from miner parents on Mos Station. There are hundreds of us. They chose three of us. Only one of us would actually be launched.

And they chose me.

The wires are kind of itchy under my bandages. I won’t scratch. I promised I wouldn’t. See? I can be good. I’ll be good. You trained me for this.

I can do it. I’m a big kid. I’m almost 13.

[Personal Log - Subject 12.1.9.11.1 - Barkley, L.] - 04.11.2057

Day two! I haven’t scratched and I’ve sat still and I’m doing my best.

Would I be able to see Mos Station if I turned around?

I won’t. I said I wouldn’t.

But could I physically see it?

It’s really empty out here. Everything is dotted with the twinkling lights of far off stars. Most of those stars are dead long before the light reaches us. It reminds me of a graveyard. I’ve never seen one, but the book the librarian lent me last year when I tried to get out of the cold while the environmental controls were purged mentioned them.

People on Earth bury their dead. It seems strange to me. Is it to help the bodies decompose? Or is there some kind of spiritual meaning? Out here, we cremate and eject the dead. Your name gets added to the wall of remembrance if you’re rich enough. We don’t have enough space to bury our dead under stones.

The food you give me out here isn’t very good. I’ll eat it. Of course I will. You had me eating it before I left anyways. It just isn’t very good. But that isn’t the point, is it? It’s just meant to keep me alive.

Will you make me borscht when I get back?

[Personal Log - Subject 12.1.9.11.1 - Barkley, L.] - 05.11.2057

I’m tired. I don’t really want to sleep. You strapped me down so that nothing I do would mess with your test results too badly, but I’m still scared that sleeping will jerk a wire out of place or something. I don’t want to mess up.

Home isn’t a place, it’s people. That’s how the saying goes, right? I never really got that. It’s hard to think of people as home when you don’t have people or a place. Just wherever you can catch some peace or safety.

I think I get it now.

You love me, right? You said we were family. You patted my head after you strapped me in, told me to hang on. Told me you’d see me when I got back. You looked sad, the same way you did when I was chosen for this.

Do you miss me?

I think I miss you.

I’ll be good, I promise, I won’t scratch or fidget or play with any of the blinking lights.

It’s really dark out here now. I can’t see the glow of Mos Station on the edges of the window anymore. How far am I? How alone?

I am alone, right? The first to go this far out. To see this view, the glimmering expanse of the unknown. I read that phrase somewhere. It fits here, to describe the tapestry of the universe that hasn’t been explored yet. I’ve never seen a tapestry.

Will you show me when I get back?

[Personal Log - Subject 12.1.9.11.1 - Barkley, L.] - 06.11.2057

It’s getting hot. Is that supposed to happen? There’s a glow along the edges of the window. It’s different from the lights of the station. It’s warm and fuzzy around the edges, like the carpeting in our room. We all had to share, you know.

Why did you choose me? You never said.

I’m scared.

“Buck up, Curly. Come on, Chatterbox! You promised to be good, remember?”

I know, I know. But it’s so hot. It’s getting hard to think. I promised not to scratch or jabber on and on, but I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Am I still good? Do you still love me?

The metal burns. It’s getting really hot. A new light turned on. It’s blinking and red and really annoying.

I can’t tell if my ears are ringing or if there’s an alarm going off.

I know I said I’d see you when I got back, but I don’t know if I can do that. You said, I’d come back, right?

Lemon said you were lying to us. Said we were lab rats, expendable.

Did you lie?

I’ve been so good. Please don’t lie. Please come get me.

Is it alright if I close my eyes for a minute? It’s getting brighter in here. The window fogged up. Is it supposed to do that?

I’m so tired. Are you making borscht? Will you pat my head again?

I’m sorry. I tried. I’m just so….so….

[Subject 12.1.9.11.1 - Barkley, L.] - NO FURTHER DATA

#writing #my wrtitng #my prose #short story #this is old but i found it in my files and i kinda like it #not sure if its any good but c'est la vie

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maniacalgenius · 4 months ago

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08.16.24

hi friends! this post is just labeled with today’s date because the last few days have been all over the place with getting back to town and moving in, so i’m treating them as if they are a Pocket Dimension outside of the real passage of time because they have had Absolutely No Structure.

academic:

🧬 looked at the canvas pages for genetics lecture and genetics lab!

🧬 started the orientation module for a course i have to do as part of my scholarships appeal

🧬 bought my genetics textbook, read the first chapter, and did the online in-textbook quiz and hw! 100% x2

health:

🌺 got my first allergy shot in 8 years yesterday. starting a new round (2-5 years) to hopefully get my allergies under control

🌺 managed to get to my doctors appt at 8:30 this morning

🌺 decided to get breakfast with my mom after the dr. i have food issues so eating (not to mention WANTING to eat) a whole meal at 10 am is a huge win!

🌺 last night after a couple hours of being Very Upset i decided to believe that if the past few days hadn’t had Absolutely No Structure then the intrusive thoughts wouldn’t be getting to me and i would be fine. this resolution allowed me to relax and get lots of sleep! so to recap: mental health win of managing to self soothe, and physical health win of sawing lots of logs!

personal:

🧚 moved in to the new place!!! really this has about 100 subtasks, but in a nutshell, i moved (a subset of) my stuff into the new place, worked on organizing things, bought a new bookshelf, et cetera. it’s slowly coming together

🧚 the day i moved in, @sleeping-academic came over in the evening to provide moral support and help unpack some things! i made us chicken and there were some bumps in the road; it was really stressful to do the process in a new place, most of the kitchen stuff wasn’t unpacked so we had to root around for everything like we were hunting for truffles, and i was using a new pan that didn’t behave like my old one which freaked me out. BUT i persevered and we had chicken for dinner (plus a lot of laughs at my silly antics) so HUGE WIN!

🧚 it is also a huge win that i even attempted a familiar process in a new place right after moving in, rather than just lying down and rotting in my bed

🧚 honorable mention down here for the last health one about self soothing because i am hardly ever able to do that so it was a big victory :)

🧚 i got to drive dr sandwich’s 12 year old son home from school yesterday! she pays me to help her (i drove him from school to math tutoring every monday this spring) but she hasn’t needed much help this summer because she wasn’t teaching summer classes, so i had really missed my little buddy!!!

no cute pics of the new place yet, sorry! still making everything cute. stay tuned!

🎶 song on loop: “it’s alright” - mother mother. current anthem as well as message i need to internalize :)

📖 current book: i finished nowhere girl by cheryl diamond! i gave it 4/5 stars because it was really good and i liked it but it just takes a Really Special Something for me to give a book that last star. i also finished the fairy-tale detectives and am now on the second sisters grimm, the unusual suspects. the story of russia by orlando figes: 190/302. my new fun book is i have some questions for you by rebecca makkai: 38/439.

🕰️ time focused: 55m. this was just for today, so not up to my 4 hour goal for this semester but i also did a LOT of other stuff today and school hasn’t even started so it’s okay!! 🤩

excited for the rest of this weekend and for school to start and be back in my happy place. (dr sandwich’s office.) mostly just excited to go to sleep in a few minutes.

love you all

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princess-pill-enjoyer · 6 months ago

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Crazy to log back in after all this time especially after the way I left things. So much has changed and I'm nearly 2 years sober in November. My year long addiction such a central part of me now. Even with me never bothering to take it anymore, being in that state of mind for so long changed me in so many ways. In just a year at that

I've color coded the sections. It was too much of a wall of text. Orange is for work, pink for my boo, green for my life perspective now that im sober and older, the other colors... you'll see it when you get there. Just a summary of everything I've ever wanted to talk about in all this time.

I've quit that job I was talking bout last post. Worked there til mid April and I rage quit. Put my two weeks in then just ain't show for the last what.. 4 days? Fuck that job fr. Assholes worked me to death. How tf I was parttime and working 12 hour shifts back to back at that?

Anyway. I still work in the same field. I'm just at these retirement homes now. I work two at the moment, though one just offered me a new position up there so hopefully I can leave the one closest to me. Buttholes think I'm a robot up there.

The biggest change is thatt, I have a partner now. He's been here with me since late July. We've gotten an apartment now, too as of like 2 months ago now. I've never trusted anyone more.

How it all went down? I was friendly with his sister as she was the one that trained me. I used to talk to her alot which end up leading to me meeting her brother since he also worked up there and was constantly around his little sister. We ended up talking more than me and the sister did. He used to come out to the cafeteria i was running and talk to me for however long time allowed. Whether for an hour or for a few mins, he'd say hi to me.

After a lil while, led to her inviting me to her house. At my old job, in our 12 shift, we were really there for 14 hrs. They gave us an hour and a half break between the 1st and 2nd shift. With her only living 5 mins from the job it wasn't a hard ask lol. Sitting around at that job was not fun. I was by this point not feeling nothing towards my partner but friendship. Which was crazy cause a few days later, I went out there seeing if my dad was outside, only to see him outside waiting to pick up his sister. I was talking to him out in the rain for a lil, then i ofc got in the car to continue talking after a while. Sat there running my mouth for long enough that his sister came out. She had this devilishly big smile on her face when she said "oh I did invite you over"

That one trip led to coming over hanging out with her brother specifically, spending a night watching movies in her room, getting friendly with their mom. I started to feel so welcome. Then, I got a lil tipsy annd bumped my head and he pulled me towards him trying to see if I was okay annnd the rest was history. I ended up moving in, with their mother's push and my family pushing me away with how eager they were for me to gtfo. Barely talk to me now that im gone. Unless i reach out ofc. It's been ups, downs, but he somehow was there through all that.

I even got kicked out the house for "hitting" their mother. In reality, by that point, I was paying $250 a month for the room I shared with him, I paid for household supplies, I cleaned. Everything. So after a while, it was a bit tiring getting screamed at for any and every mistake I made. I had threw away pieces of this series x box and she told me take it out her trash and throw it in the outside. I grabbed as much as I could at the time as I had other pieces already in my hand but it wasn't good enough. She said to come get the rest and I was confused. I just said my hands are full and I went to throw the rest away. But me saying my hands were full was a problem. I don't know if I said it in a tone, I was tryna be as calm as I could, but it wasn't good enough.

She started yelling and talking shit, calling me names. All types of stuff. Me and him was just taking it. Not saying a single thing back, like she liked. But he threw his phone at the wall in frustration and I thought it was time to fix it. It wasn't that serious in my eyes. So I came up to her asking why she thought I had an attitude so we can fix it. I didn't have an attitude and even if I did, I still did what she asked with no hesitation. With two trips, I threw the whole box away and ripped it up just like she wanted to make sure it wouldn't take up too much room. But all that was null and void because of how she perceived my voice.

So in my failed attempts to get her to talk to me, she just getting angrier and angrier which made me frustrated. I just stood there asking again and again what did I do to make you think I had an attitude, her getting mad and saying she ain't have to explain herself to me, which I was trying to explain I wasn't trying to make her explain why she was mad I just wanted to know how I wronged you so I CAN FIX IT. And me standing there and her getting angry eventually led her to pointing a finger right in my face which I swatted away. It was reflex really. Was mere inches away from my eye and I never once touched her so why get physical?? I don't know what possessed her to even do that.

And me swatting her hand, was the worst decision ever. The mother started trying to swing at me, the sisters boyfriend that also lived there at that point was trying to hit me and my boyfriend jumped in and pulled me back. I couldn't focus on nothing anymore and the next thing I knew the sisters boyfriend came up to me and pushed me onto the bed. I was so scared I didn't know what he was going to do next and I started freaking out. I couldn't breath I couldn't think. I just felt so scared and helpless. I had to hear the rest after the fact

My boyfriend and his sister's boyfriend both got into a fight, the sister and the mother tried to break up. The mom got pushed down to the floor in the process (which was as I said, happened during the process of a whole fist fight between these grown men. You'll see why I clarify this), my boyfriend picked him up, and somehow someway, the sisters boyfriend went to go grab his gun. A gun that he apparently had at the house. It was an assault riffle

When he did that the whole atmosphere changed. No one was focused on the fight they were focused on him putting the gun up. Then they came to me and that's where my pov comes back. I was there on the bed curled up crying ripping out my hair, and my boyfriend standing over me just angry at everything. He just stood over me crying frustrated trying to get me breathe. Then the sister just stood over me, like I was an alien. I regretted even saying anything. I wondered if I should've just grabbed it all and just let it fall out my hands so she knew I wasn't being funny acting. I started to wonder if I was right to swat her hand or should I have let her touch me first before I did that. All these thoughts made me feel so powerless as none of those decisions should have led to this brawl.

The sisters boyfriend tried to play man of the house and talk shit and the sister just smiled. My boyfriend still hasn't forgiven her for it. He never looks at her the same anymore. It feels like I broke up the family. To. This. Day. The mom kicked me out and my boyfriend said fuck everyone and left with me. He helped me pack everything because the mom was telling me "my fatass needs to hurry up" and "sitting there like shit sweet" and smart comment after smart comment while I'm over there just bawling my eyes out. We went to his dad's house who asked for an explanation but once we explained, he respected that it was a huge blowup, and the dude pulling out a gun was bigger than all this.

Little did we know, the little bit of relief we felt being at his dad's house for the night would be short lived. The mom, sister, and her boyfriend were all going around calling up family to tell their twisted version of events. They said I hit mama and my partner pushed her to the ground. I felt like a mouse. The whole family hated me atp. But we spent a night at the dad's house, explained everything to everyone calling him and just kept on going. The sisters ended up believing us in saying they were kinda shocked to hear I'd hit their mom knowing how I am so they were more mad that they twisted the story and didn't even include the fact this man just pulled out a gun on their brother. We told everything as it happened so it helped our story alot

Anyway, we lived there for a few months, feeling trapped and stupid. His dad's house was filthy and we were working hard to pay rent at his dad's, find and apartment, and save for a deposit fee. We barely could eat because the kitchen was so nasty half the time you didn't know what you were touching. The silverware were half dirty, the fridge handle always had food remnants caked on it, food would be left out overnight and more, dishes there for days. Everything. This is all because his dad is half blind and his fiance works so she expects him to do all the cleaning. His cleaning skills are not the best but I can't fully blame him given his disability.

We were eating off fast food everyday for months because of this. We'd barely eat just because we hid rhe fact we were eating out where we could, so he wouldn't feel offense on why we wouldn't eat his and her food, and we kept it pushing.

We moved out in April annd things have gotten better in a sense. We argue way more but I think that's natural for how much more we get to be around each other. I don't work as long hours and we're in each other's face 24/7. But I get so angry. I don't know why. It's like I hold back so much, just angry talking at first, then he says something that makes me snap. Then, I'm screaming, throwing things, and I try to get away. It feels all instinct, like someone else is taking over. And all I can do is wait til I calm down and apologize for being scary. I don't hurt him. I never will. I've thrown my phone, broken countless bracelets off me, and I've scratched myself over and over trying to make myself focus on something else, but I've never thrown more than a pen directly at him. I feel so guilty everytime I do it. But I be feeling unheard in the moment and I just want it over with. To be left alone again.

But he holds onto me anyway. He sees me for more than just my blowups. He hates it and has asserted he won't take it forever, but he understands Im not used to love upclose. I'm the ex princess pill enjoyer. I went an entire year with an addiction only my sisters noticed. I've lost my two closest friends along with the whole robotics friend group I thought I'd have in an instant. I usually am one disagreement from losing someone, so I hold it in. But now, I have someone to learn to let it out for. Someone to learn to not blowup for. It's just hard.

I'm really trying though. I tried jumping out the car cause I was so mad and he just stopped the car and held me. Even though he was just as mad at me. We were arguing just a second before. Ever since then, that rage scares me. I'm not in control the way i thought I was. I would never jump out a moving fucking vehicle in my life. You can break your arm, scrape the skin right off you, knock yourself out. Anything. But I just felt this trance of I couldn't keep being in this car arguing and I started saying I couldn't do it and just opened the door. I don't know what I was thinking. I really wasn't thinking. But knowing that's a possibility, I just know I have to fix myself.

I've been doing better. I nowadays will just throw my phone and get mad and he'll just leave it instead of continuing like normal. Then once I calm down, we talk about why I got so mad, he explains why he was mad at me in the first place, and we're good. I hope someday I can skip on the rage part entirely but I've been doing better now that I have a moment to collect myself. Plus, I know no matter what argument, til the day he betrays my trust, I will always want him in my life and these petty arguments change nothing. He's shown me time and time again he loves me through everything so I will make sure I love him unconditionally too.

And that's where everything is now. I'm at work typing this now. I'm resisting the urge to impulsively quit. My boss just called me yesterday frustrated I don't pick up morning shifts last second trying to make it like I just don't want to work. I just don't think that's a humane ask. On your day off, would you want to be called awake at 6am to get up and IMMEDIATELY go to work? No. She'd give me a one day notice on morning shifts too and I'd say no, because I didn't want to cut the day short to go to bed for work. And that's a problem here.

I have a second job that's been great but the distance and pay wasn't the best. But they appreciate me, they've tried to fight for better pay, and the were sad I tried this job. Annnd crazily, I came back, did orders for a few days, and they offered me a part time receptionist while doing orders too. Giving me damn near full time hours. Like FINALLYYYY I'm not waiting on random shifts to make my money. I can just come in and do the same work everyday.

It's not confirmed til Monday but, soon as it's confirmed. I'm outttt

Life doesn't get better, it just changes. If anything it gets worse. Seriously. I've wanted to die all the time lately. It's just a new hurt. You can't ever escape it. In a way, it's harder and easier. On the one hand, you have a different type of worth now. Once you move out, youre not just parents burden, you become your own burden. So that constant guilt I used to feel is gone. I don't ask for help no matter what. I even hate gifts from them now. I feel like they use that as their way to have something to say about what I'm doing. But you burdening yourself also stings cause you have to drag yourself to shit you don't want ALLLLLLL THE TIMEEE. Don't want to go to work? Call in sick? Don't have any sick hours? Call in with an emergency. Gotta do what uou gotta do. I'm not proud of it. But even then... you have to be socially aware of everyone's opinion of your actions. Or, you choosing yourself too many times will make you lose a job, get played at your job, or fuck you over come time to pay everything. It's such a big sacrifice to choose yourself now.

That's just true in general when you get out the house. That's what makes it so difficult.. I barely was choosing myself before. But now? There's no one else but you. If you don't go out to make yourself some money, you'll make yourself miserable worrying about food, bills, and keeping a roof over your head. But some days you argue right before work. Some days you want to end it and you don't want to to think about nothing else. But I have to think, if I fail this time, what's gonna happen? If you try it, and you fail, what are you going to do? Are you gonna be able to afford copays on your hospital stay? Are you gonna be able to get back to work if need be? Are you gonna be able to be in others faces right after that happened to you? Is there even going to be a job waiting on you by the time you recover?

I'm more scared of the day I'll attempt now. If I attempt now, I'll fuck over my partner. I wonder how he'd take it. I'd probably break him. Even though I regularly tell him I want to die to this day, he'll never feel the full weight til he sees how serious it gets for me. I don't want to take away his character showing him that. I'll break up and do it before I sneak off and do something like that now. I know that would hurt him still. But even before him, it's just harder on me making that decision.

I'm still open to it though. Thus far, this life shit still sucks. The work life balance is just gone in America. Unless you're making top dollar, buying a house, regularly vacationing, and having money to properly invest in your hobbies, you're just sitting around on you butt/doing chores/getting business handled. You've always had to work for your money but nowadays uou need to hoard this nonexistent extra money just to do anything. It's so dull. I already didn't want to do this and now I'm bored to death half the time. Great!!!1!11!!! (I've developed a tiktok addiction now. It's an instict for me to get on as soon as I'm not doing anything. I can't stand to be bored for one second 😶‍🌫️)

Anywaysss. That's it. I'm alive, I'm the same, but with a boyfriend now. I have the same brain from way back when I was daily posting on here. There's just more stuff chaining me down to this world. If you read all this thank you. I hope you feel seen. I know it's not easy out here

...and to the people that didn't read. Yea. I get it 😅

#update #sober #life update #excessively long #i think i talk too much

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