#I just had to get this off of my chest ok
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joelsrose · 3 days ago
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First Date? Part 5
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4
My masterlist!
I KNOW CHRISTMAS IS OVER BUT ITS OK PRETEND ITS NOT i'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, i have split the last part into 2 because i wanted to give yall something - multiple crying emojis. I LOVE YALLLL AND AGAIN I APOLOGISE
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Maria had asked you to meet her at the greenhouse under the pretense of planting seeds, but you couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to her invitation than pulling weeds.
She knelt beside you in the soft earth, her hands deftly working to clear the tangled mess of weeds from the fragile seedlings. Her movements were steady and deliberate, but her sharp, watchful eyes weren’t focused on the plants—they were on you.
The silence hung heavy, thick with unspoken tension, until Maria broke it, her voice deceptively casual. “So,” she drawled, her tone light but her gaze cutting. “Tommy told me about yesterday.”
Your hands faltered for just a moment, the weeds slipping from your fingers before you quickly resumed, feigning nonchalance as her words hit their mark. “What about yesterday?” you asked, keeping your voice steady, though your chest tightened.
“You know,” she said, her tone deceptively casual, “in the dining hall. With Joel?”
“I already told you what happened,” you muttered, your focus dropping to the soil as if it could shield you from the conversation.
“Yeah, you did,” Maria replied, sitting back on her heels, her expression impossible to read. “But you left out the part where Joel nearly took some guy’s head off. For you.”
You exhaled, leaning back and brushing dirt off your hands. “Maria, it’s just… Joel being Joel,” you said, your voice quieter now. “He’s protective. That’s all.”
“Protective?” Maria’s laugh was louder this time, tinged with incredulity. She shook her head, reaching for another weed. “Honey, Joel doesn’t just get protective over people. Not like that.”
You busied yourself with the watering can, your fingers tightening around the handle as you avoided her gaze. “He does it for Ellie,” you said, your tone defensive. “And Tommy. And you. It’s not—”
“Not that special?” Maria cut in, her voice sharper now, though there was no malice in it. She leaned closer, brushing a hand against her knee to wipe off the dirt.
“This is different, and you know it. Joel Miller doesn’t make a scene unless it’s life or death. And yesterday?” She shook her head, her gaze unwavering. “That was a declaration.”
Your breath caught at her words, your hands tightening on the watering can as you tried to focus on the steady stream of water pooling at the base of the plants. “It wasn’t a declaration,” you said softly, almost to yourself. “He just… cares. That’s all.”
Maria’s brow lifted, her eyes narrowing like she was trying to puzzle you out. “Oh, he cares, alright,” she said, her tone softer but no less sure. “But this isn’t the kind of caring he shows for Ellie, or Tommy, or anyone else. This isn’t just Joel looking out for you. This is Joel claiming you.”
Your heart skipped, the word hitting you like a jolt. “Maria, stop—”
“I won’t,” she interrupted, her voice firm but gentle, her gaze steady as she gestured toward you. “Because someone has to say it. Joel didn’t just stand up for you yesterday. He didn’t just step in. He made it loud and clear to everyone in that room that you’re his priority. You think that’s nothing?”
You opened your mouth to protest, but the words tangled in your throat. Maria’s expression softened, her voice dropping just enough to make you listen.
“That’s Joel Miller’s language for ‘I care more than I know how to say,’” she said, her eyes locking on yours with quiet intensity.
You sighed, setting the watering can down and wiping your hands on your thighs, your gaze fixed firmly on the uneven soil in front of you. “It’s… complicated,” you murmured, the words heavier than you’d expected.
Maria didn’t back off. She shifted closer, her sharp gaze unwavering, her fingers pausing their methodical tugging at weeds. “So tell me,” she said softly, her tone gentle but edged with curiosity. “What’s so complicated about it?”
You hesitated, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, the loose thread unraveling under your touch as you tried to find the words.
How could you explain it? How could you possibly articulate the way Joel made you feel—like standing on the edge of a cliff, the wind catching your breath, thrilling and terrifying all at once? How every gruff word, every lingering glance, every unspoken act of care felt like something delicate and fleeting, something you were too scared to hold for fear it might break.
“I don’t know,” you sighed finally, the weight of your own uncertainty pressing down on you. “He’s… hard to read.”
Maria tilted her head slightly, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Hmm,” she hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Even Tommy sees it. He brought it up last night, said he’s never seen Joel like that before.”
Your hands stilled, trembling slightly as her words settled over you, heavy and unrelenting. “What exactly did Tommy say?” you asked, your voice quieter now, betraying the nerves prickling at your skin.
Maria’s lips twitched, the barest hint of a smirk curving at the corners. “He said, ‘Joel’s actin’ like a damn fool,’” she said, her tone light but her eyes sparkling with something deeper. “And when I asked why, he just shook his head and said, ‘Because she’s got him wrapped around her little finger, and I don’t even think she knows it.’”
You inhaled sharply, the words twisting in your chest, warm and fragile and terrifying all at once. “Maria—”
“You don’t have to explain it to me,” Maria said gently, cutting off your fumbling attempt at a response as she brushed the dirt from her hands with deliberate care.
Her gaze softened, though her voice held a quiet firmness that left no room for doubt. “But let me say this—Joel Miller doesn’t look at anyone the way he looks at you.”
Maria paused, a small, knowing smile flickering across her lips. “I think you made him soft,” she added, her tone light but carrying a weight that landed squarely on your chest.
“When I’m around him,” you said softly, your gaze falling to the soil as the words slipped free before you could stop them. “I feel… safe. Like nothing could hurt me. Like he’d do anything to protect me.” You paused, your voice faltering as your chest tightened. “I’ve never—” you stammered, swallowing hard. “I’ve never felt like that before.”
Maria didn’t respond right away, letting the weight of your confession settle in the quiet space between you. Her sharpness softened, her expression shifting to something tender, almost maternal, as she studied you. Finally, she spoke, her voice low but firm, carrying a truth you weren’t ready to face.
“Sounds an awful lot like love to me,” she said, the words landing with the force of something undeniable, wrapping around you in a way that felt both comforting and terrifying.
You shook your head quickly, the denial automatic, but it felt hollow, a reflex you couldn’t fully believe. The truth sat heavy in your chest, unspoken but undeniable, like a secret that refused to stay buried. You loved him. You had for a while now—longer than you cared to admit, maybe longer than you even realized.
You loved him with a yearning so deep, it scared you. A love that felt raw and all-encompassing, a love you couldn’t hide even if you wanted to. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him—and it was as thrilling as it was terrifying.
“Maria,” you murmured, your voice barely audible, as if speaking too loud might give too much weight to the feelings you were barely holding together. “Every time we get close, he pulls away.” Your voice broke, a tear slipping down your cheek before you even realized it. “Sometimes… sometimes I feel like he’s about to say something, or do something, to show me he feels the same way. But then he flips, like none of it ever mattered.”
“That man’s been through more than most of us can even begin to understand,” Maria said, her voice quiet but carrying a conviction that struck deep. “But listen to me—this isn’t about you being a risk he’s too scared to take. You’re not some passing thing. You’re the one thing he’s terrified of losing.”
Her words hit like a punch to the chest, knocking loose something you’d been holding too tightly. Because deep down, you knew she was right. Joel had told you himself—the words I’d die for you still echoed in your mind, raw and unshakable, like a vow you hadn’t asked for but couldn’t ignore.
“The other night…” you began hesitantly, your fingers twisting nervously at the hem of your shirt. “He came over.”
Maria’s eyebrows shot up, her entire face lighting with intrigue as she leaned in closer, the teasing lilt in her voice unmistakable. “Do tell,” she urged, her grin already forming.
You winced, immediately regretting opening your mouth. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” you said quickly, holding up a hand as if to fend her off, though the warmth creeping up your neck betrayed you. “He was just… making me dinner.”
Maria blinked, clearly caught off guard, before a slow, knowing smirk took over her face. “Just cooking you dinner?” she repeated, dragging the words out, every syllable dripping with disbelief. “Uh-huh. Because Joel Miller is the kind of guy who goes around playing chef for just anyone.”
Your face burned, and you groaned, dropping your head into your hands. “You’re making this a bigger deal than it is.”
“No,” Maria said with a laugh, shaking her head, her grin widening. “I think you’re not making enough of it. So? What else happened?”
You hesitated, your teeth sinking into your lip as your hands fumbled aimlessly with the nearest seedling. “Well… I… I gave him a massage.”
Maria froze mid-motion, her hand hovering above the soil, her eyes widening as her jaw dropped. “You what?” she asked, her voice pitching higher, loud enough to make you wince.
“Maria, keep your voice down!” you hissed, your gaze darting toward the greenhouse door as though someone might be lurking just outside, ready to overhear.
Maria’s hand clamped over her mouth, but it did nothing to hide the glint in her eyes. She looked ready to burst. Lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, she leaned in closer, her expression a mix of pure disbelief and delight. “Hold on. You gave him a massage? Like, with your hands? On his bare back? Oh my god—did he take his shirt off?”
The words sent your stomach into a spiral. You groaned, your face falling into your hands, wishing the soil beneath you would swallow you whole. “It wasn’t like that,” you muttered, your voice muffled. “He was sore from patrol, and I offered because he looked like he was in pain. That’s it.” You paused, knowing there was no way to escape the next part. “And, yes… he took his shirt off.”
Maria’s mouth dropped open before morphing into the widest grin you’d ever seen. She let out a delighted squeak, clapping her hands together like a kid who’d just been handed the world’s juiciest secret. “So let me get this straight,” she began, her tone exaggeratedly slow, like she was savoring every word. “Joel Miller—Mr. Grumpy, Mr. Lone Wolf, Mr. Don’t-Get-Too-Close—was shirtless in your house, letting you touch him? Are you hearing yourself right now?”
You threw your hands in the air, the flush on your face deepening. “It wasn’t a big deal!” you insisted, though your voice betrayed you, rising in pitch as the memory of the moment came rushing back. “He was in pain, Maria. Pain. I was just helping him out.”
Maria leaned back, her arms crossing as she gave you a knowing look. “Sure,” she said, drawing the word out with enough skepticism to make you want to crawl under the nearest seedling. “That’s why your face is bright red and you’re stammering like you just got caught sneaking out after curfew.”
“It didn’t mean anything,” you muttered, barely above a whisper. “He probably didn’t even think twice about it.”
Maria snorted, “Oh, he thought about it alright,” she said, her voice ringing with certainty, “Hell, he’s probably still thinking about it.”
Your head snapped up, your brow furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
Maria grinned, leaning closer like she was about to share some grand secret. “You know, late at night.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, her words loaded with meaning.
Heat flooded your face as her insinuation brought a wave of memories you wished you could forget—Joel’s visible arousal, the way his pants had tightened at the crotch, the strategic placement of the pillow he’d used to conceal it. You swallowed hard, determined not to let those thoughts, or Maria’s teasing, derail you. There was no way she was hearing about that.
“Jesus, will you stop?” you nudged her arm, heat prickling up your neck as the implications of her statement hit you.
“You’re so ridiculous sometimes, you know that?” she said, shaking her head as though she couldn’t quite believe the sight of you sitting there, a mess of nerves and denial.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you shot back, though your voice wavered, and the heat creeping up your neck betrayed you.
Maria leaned in, her elbows resting on her knees, her eyes sharp and glinting with mischief. “It means,” she said, her words slow and deliberate, like she was explaining something painfully obvious to a stubborn child, “that he was probably using every ounce of self-control not to flip you over on that couch right then and there.”
“Maria!” you hissed, her name bursting out of you, sharp and scandalized.
“What?” she said, feigning innocence as she gave a casual shrug. “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. He’s a man, after all. And let’s be honest—Joel Miller probably hasn’t had a woman’s hands on him in years.”
You let out a heavy sigh, dragging your hands over your face in frustration. “Ugh, I don’t know, okay?” you mumbled, your voice muffled behind your palms. “I mean… if he did feel that way about me, wouldn’t he have done something by now? At least kissed me or—or something?”
The words slipped out in a rush, unguarded and raw, trailing into a whisper like they might disappear if you spoke them softly enough. But they didn’t disappear.
Instead, they hung in the air between you and Maria, heavy and unrelenting. Her eyes, sharp and knowing, pinned you like a butterfly under glass. Her voice, when it came, was gentle. “You really believe that?”
"Yeah," you murmured, the word brittle. "I mean… wouldn’t he? If he wanted to?”
"Sweetheart," Maria began, her tone steady but kind, "Joel Miller is the most stubborn, self-sacrificing, emotionally constipated man I’ve ever met. You really think he’s just gonna march up to you, bare his heart on a silver platter, and hope for the best? That’s not how he works.”
You frowned, shaking your head as frustration prickled hot at the back of your neck. “So what?” you asked, your voice sharper now, brittle around the edges. “He’s just… never gonna say anything? Never gonna do anything? I can’t just wait forever, Maria.”
“No,” she said gently, shaking her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is Joel’s spent most of his life believing that caring about someone—really caring—is a weakness. Something that gets you hurt or worse. And then you come along and, well…” She paused, her gaze warm and steady. “You make him feel things he thought he’d buried a long time ago. But that terrifies him, probably more than you realize. Because letting you in? That means tearing down walls he’s spent decades building. That means risking everything.”
Your voice came quieter now, uncertain and aching. “So… what am I supposed to do?” Your eyes found Maria’s again, searching her face for guidance, for answers, for something—anything—that might untangle the knot of doubt tightening in your chest.
“Be patient,” she said simply, her voice a balm to your frayed nerves. “Joel’s a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them. He knows exactly what you mean to him. He’s just gotta figure out how to stop fighting himself and let it happen. And when he does?” Her smile widened, turning sly as she gave your knee a light squeeze. “Trust me, it’s not gonna be some half-hearted thing. That man will move mountains for you. Hell, he already does.”
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Winnie’s steady gait beneath you was a quiet balm, each step rocking you gently as you tightened your hold around Joel’s waist. Your hands rested over his ribs, rising and falling with his even breaths, the rhythm anchoring you more than you cared to admit.
The world here felt almost untouched, too peaceful for its harsh reality. Overhead, the canopy swayed like a living thing, the leaves whispering secrets to the wind. A bird trilled somewhere in the distance, its song rippling through the stillness like a pebble dropped in glassy water. It felt like the kind of day you could bottle up and save for when the world grew too dark again.
“So,” you started, your voice light, teasing, as you broke the quiet. “You’re really gonna teach me to shoot a deer today?”
Joel’s head tilted just enough for you to catch the edge of his profile—sharp, rugged, softened by the glow of the sun. “That’s the idea,” he replied evenly, his drawl as familiar as the creak of the saddle beneath you. “Long as you listen to what I tell you.” He paused, then added with a smirk, “For once.”
You gasped, overly dramatic, smacking his shoulder lightly. “Hey, I do listen.”
Joel hummed, a low, skeptical sound, and you swore you could feel his lips twitching even though you couldn’t see them. The small, almost imperceptible sound made something inside you warm, like you’d just struck gold.
Truthfully, you’d been surprised when Joel had offered. You’d been at the stables after patrol, brushing Winnie down when he approached and casually suggested you join him the next morning. Hunting, he’d said, like it was the most natural thing in the world to ask.
“Well,” you sighed now, letting the moment stretch as you leaned your cheek lightly against his back, “don’t get your hopes up. I have a feeling we’ll head back empty-handed.”
“Don’t matter,” he said after a pause, his voice quieter now, almost contemplative. “Good to be out here. It’s nice. We’ll make it fun.”
You froze, pulling back, your brows lifted, a grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Uh, excuse me? Am I having a stroke?”
Joel’s shoulders stiffened immediately, and he glanced back at you, brow furrowed, his tone rough with instinctive gruffness. “What?”
“Joel Miller,” you said, barely able to keep your grin in check, “talking about fun?”
His exhale was short, just shy of a laugh. “You’re a pain,” he muttered, the words carrying no real heat as he turned his attention back to the path ahead.
You laughed, the sound spilling out of you before you could stop it. It felt light and unburdened, a sound that didn’t belong in this harsh world but fit perfectly here, in this pocket of peace—where the trees swayed gently overhead and the sun filtered down to warm your face.
Joel didn’t say anything, but you could feel him relax in front of you, like the sound had smoothed out the edges of him, loosening a piece of the armor he always wore.
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Joel walked ahead, his steps deliberate, his boots barely making a sound. You followed, watching the subtle tilt of his head every so often as he listened for sounds you couldn’t pick up. He was watchful, always, as though the forest could turn on you at any second.
“Stay close,” he murmured over his shoulder, his gaze flicked to yours for a heartbeat before shifting back to the trail ahead.
You nodded, your own steps careful as you matched his pace. Twigs snapped faintly beneath your boots, the crunch of dried leaves mingling with the faint rustle of wind through the trees.
Joel stopped suddenly, his hand lifting to signal you to pause. You froze mid-step, holding your breath as he crouched low. Without a word, he gestured for you to do the same. You sank into a crouch beside him, the earth cool beneath your palms as you balanced yourself.
“There,” he whispered, his voice so quiet it was barely a breath, the heat of it brushing your ear. You followed his line of sight, your heart stuttering as you spotted it—a deer, grazing in the clearing just ahead. Its coat gleamed in the broken sunlight, rich and golden, and its ears flicked lazily as it chewed on the grass, oblivious to the two of you watching.
Joel turned to you, his expression calm but focused, “We’ll take it slow,” he said, inching closer. The warmth of him followed, settling like a weight around you as he crouched beside you. He reached for the rifle, his movements slow and deliberate, before he settled you against a fallen log.
His touch was gentle but firm as he adjusted your position, “Here,” he murmured, the word soft enough to almost get lost in the hush of the forest. His hands covered yours, guiding the rifle into place with a patience that made your pulse quicken.
“You remember, don’t you?” Joel asked quietly, his voice a low hum at your ear. “Keep your grip loose. Just enough to hold it steady. Like we practiced.”
You nodded, swallowing hard as your heart stuttered under the weight of everything—the rifle in your hands, the quiet between you, the solid feel of him so close. He leaned in more, his breath ghosting against your cheek as he tilted your aim slightly.
The deer grazed peacefully in the clearing, its movements unhurried, and you let your focus fall there—tried to drown out the way your skin burned everywhere Joel touched.
“Now,” Joel murmured, his voice softer still. “Take a deep breath. Steady. Slow. You don’t rush this.”
You inhaled, deep and deliberate, the air cool against the tightness in your chest. Joel’s hands stayed on yours, steadying, grounding, and you found yourself focusing not just on the rifle but on him—the way his presence felt like an anchor.
Your finger hovered over the trigger. The weight of the moment settled over you, a knot of nerves and something more twisting deep in your chest. “What if I miss?” you whispered, the words escaping before you could stop them.
Joel didn’t hesitate. He leaned in closer, his voice steady and sure as if it held the power to undo every doubt in your head. “You won’t,” he said, the confidence in his tone like a balm. “You trust yourself. And you trust me.”
You blinked, your breath hitching as his words sank in. Joel didn’t pull away, his face still close enough that you could feel the warmth of him, the rough timbre of his voice lingering like an echo.
“Breathe,” he reminded softly, the word curling through you like an unspoken promise.
You exhaled slowly, your shoulders relaxing under his touch as you centered your aim once more. Joel stayed still, his hands steadying yours—not pushing, not pulling, just there, like he always seemed to be when you needed him. The world felt smaller somehow, narrowed to just the two of you and the stillness of the forest.
You exhaled, slow and deliberate, your heart hammering in your chest. And then—click. The sharp crack of the rifle firing shattered the stillness, the deer collapsing instantly to the ground.
The forest went quiet again, as if it, too, were holding its breath. You stared, wide-eyed, your pulse thrumming in your ears as the reality of what you’d just done settled in.
Then Joel’s voice broke through, low and steady, laced with something proud. “Hell of a shot.”
You turned to him, chest heaving, a grin spreading across your face—wide, uncontainable. “I did it,” you breathed, the words tumbling out on a rush of disbelief and elation. “Joel, I did it!”
His smile was small but real, softening the sharp lines of his face. Pride flickered in his eyes, a quiet warmth that made your heart stumble. “Knew you could,” he said, his voice gruff but gentle, like he’d never doubted you for a second.
Before you could stop yourself, you leaned in—quick, impulsive—pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was fleeting, barely more than a brush, but it was enough to make him freeze. The world around you seemed to pause, Joel going stock-still beneath your touch, his breath catching as if the smallest movement might shatter the moment.
“Thank you,” you murmured softly, pulling back just enough to look at him. The words carried the weight of more than just this one moment, more than just a lesson with a rifle. “For helping me. For—” You hesitated, your voice faltering under the way he was looking at you. “For everything.”
Joel didn’t say anything at first. He just stared at you, his expression unreadable, but there was something there—something soft and unguarded that he rarely let slip. His eyes darted away for the briefest second, a faint blush creeping up his neck and dusting his cheeks.
“Uh—yeah,” he muttered, clearing his throat as his hand went to the back of his neck. “You’re… you’re welcome.”
The gruff awkwardness of it pulled a laugh from you, light and unrestrained, cutting through the tension like a sunbeam breaking through the trees. Joel Miller—this man who stared down raiders and infected with unflinching calm—was blushing because of you.
He began to rise, his hand already extended to help you up so you could see your catch, but you reached out, your fingers brushing against his arm.
“Wait,” you murmured, your voice quiet but sure. He stilled instantly, his gaze flicking to yours. Slowly, you set the rifle aside, your movements careful, deliberate. Then, you shifted, turning over to rest your head against the log, your eyes lifting to the canopy above.
The trees towered above you, their branches swaying lazily in the breeze, sunlight filtering through in golden streaks that dappled the forest floor. It was a moment that felt too perfect to disrupt, too rare to let slip away.
“Lay with me,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper, but the words carried weight, a quiet invitation that hung between you.
For a moment, he hesitated, and you thought he might pull back—say it was getting late or that you were being silly. But he didn’t.
Instead, Joel obliged with a quiet groan, sinking down beside you. He stretched out, his head coming to rest just near yours, close enough that you could feel the faint warmth of him. His eyes followed yours to the canopy above, where the trees swayed gently, their leaves rustling in a soft, rhythmic whisper.
You stayed quiet for a while, letting the hum of the woods fill the spaces between breaths. Joel’s shoulder brushed yours with each small shift, a touch so faint it almost didn’t count—but it did.
“I have a question,” you murmured, your voice barely above the whisper of the wind through the trees.
Joel hummed softly, a low sound that felt like an invitation, steady and patient, as if he’d wait forever for you to ask.
You hesitated, teeth catching the inside of your cheek, unsure why your heart suddenly felt too big for your chest. “What was your first impression of me?”
Joel chuckled, the sound rough and warm, a quiet rumble that sent a shiver through you. You could feel his gaze shift toward you, even as you kept your eyes fixed on the swaying branches above. “First impression?” he asked, his voice carrying that familiar, low drawl.
“Mhm,” you replied, your lips curving faintly as you tried to sound casual, though your chest tightened in anticipation.
“Let’s see…” He dragged the words out like he was savoring them. “Lazy,” he started, his tone laced with teasing. “Chatterbox. Stubborn as hell.”
Your head snapped toward him, and before you could think better of it, you swatted his arm. “Hey! Be serious,” you protested, though the smile tugging at your lips betrayed you.
Joel smirked, rubbing the spot like you’d actually hurt him, though his eyes had softened in that way they sometimes did when he wasn’t guarding himself so tightly.
“Alright, alright,” he relented, the teasing slipping away as he leaned back a little, his gaze drifting somewhere far off, like he was digging through memories he hadn’t let himself touch in a while. “I remember Tommy talkin’ about you before we were first partnered for patrol. Said you were a nice kid. Reliable. Good to have around in a pinch.”
He paused, his words settling into the quiet between you. You might have teased him for calling you a “kid” if it weren’t for the way his voice shifted then—lower, steadier, like he was choosing his words with care.
“But then… then I got to know you, and you’re... a hell of a lot more than that.”
“You’re a good girl,” he murmured, the words soft but heavy, landing squarely in your chest and taking the air right out of you. His voice dipped lower, roughened by something real, something unguarded. “Sweet… even when the world tried to take that from you. Didn’t let it. That’s somethin’.”
He let out a long breath, rubbing a hand over his face like the next words were harder to admit. “You’re tough. Know how to stand your ground. Don’t let anyone push you around. But you’ve got…” His voice faltered, a slight hitch in his breath. “You’ve got a good heart. And that’s rare. You don’t see that much anymore.”
He turned his head toward you, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made it impossible to look away. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you,” he murmured, his voice low and weighted with sincerity. “You’re... different.”
“Different?” you whispered, your breath catching.
“Special,” he replied, the word lingering in the air like a quiet confession.
The weight of his words settled over you, pressing against your chest in a way that made it hard to breathe. You blinked up at the sky, pretending the ache you felt was just from the cool air brushing against your skin. You didn’t trust yourself to speak—not now, not when your voice would betray everything you weren’t ready to admit.
Joel shifted beside you, clearing his throat like the moment had gotten too heavy for him too. “’Course, you still talk too damn much,” he muttered, his voice gruff, but it lacked the sharp edge of his usual teasing.
You didn’t swat him this time. Instead, you let the silence stretch between you, the space filled with nothing but the sound of the forest and the quiet, steady rhythm of his breathing beside you. Your shoulders brushed again, and this time you didn’t pull away. Neither did he.
"What did you…" Joel started, his voice low and halting, like he was pulling the words up from some place deep inside. He paused, his throat working as he forced the rest out. “What did you think about me?”
You blinked, his question catching you off guard. Joel Miller, asking what you thought about him. The man who could silence a room with a look, who walked through life with his walls so high you were sure no one could climb them.
And now, here he was, his voice so quiet and uncertain it felt like the wind could carry it away. It was so uncharacteristic, so achingly vulnerable, it made your chest feel like it was splintering under the weight of it.
He stayed still beside you, his gaze fixed upward on the swaying trees, but you could feel the tension in him, as though the question alone had cost him more than he was willing to admit.
You swallowed hard, searching for the right words. A soft laugh escaped you, unsteady and a little raw, the memory rushing in before you could stop it.
“I remember Maria warning me before our first patrol,” you said, your voice light but tinged with something deeper. “She told me, ‘He’ll probably ignore you, or say something that might hurt your feelings—but that’s just Joel.’” You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, and he let out a huff of air through his nose, shaking his head like he’d heard that before.
“And sure,” you continued, your tone softening, “the first few times, we didn’t talk much. You kept your distance, and I figured that was just who you were. But you weren’t mean. Not once. Never did anything to hurt my feelings. If anything…” You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. “If anything, you were… thoughtful.”
“You let me eat half your food,” you said, your lips curving into a soft, wistful smile as you held his gaze. “You carried my pack even when I argued with you about it.” A quiet laugh escaped you, though it trembled under the weight of your emotions. “And you… you brought me a damn Christmas tree.”
Your smile faltered, the ache of those moments flooding through you—the quiet, selfless things he did without ever needing to say why.
Each one was tucked away in your heart, little treasures you’d clung to, but now they came crashing down all at once, sharp and overwhelming.
You loved him. God, you loved him. And all you wanted to do was tell him.
Your voice wavered, trembling as you pressed on, your chest tightening with every word. “You… you make me dinner. You bring me firewood when it’s cold, even when I don’t ask. You…” Your breath hitched, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you squeezed them shut. “You take care of me, Joel. In a way no one ever has.”
You swallowed hard, the words I love you hovering on the edge of your lips, too fragile to speak but too real to ignore.
The silence between you stretched on, heavy and endless, the weight of what you’d just confessed hanging in the air like the low hum of the wind through the trees. Your heart thudded painfully in your chest, each beat loud and uneven, as though it was trying to drown out the unbearable quiet.
For a moment, you thought you’d said too much, crossed an invisible line, shattered something that could never be put back together. And then, just as the ache of it became too much to bear, something warm and rough brushed against your palm.
You didn’t have to look down to know what it was.
Joel’s hand, strong and calloused, slid into yours with a gentleness that stole the breath from your lungs. His fingers intertwined with yours, hesitantly at first, as though he wasn’t sure you’d let him stay. But when you didn’t pull away, when your hand instinctively curled tighter around his, his grip steadied, solid and unyielding, like it was exactly where it belonged.
Neither of you moved. Neither of you dared to speak. The tension, the quiet, was no longer unbearable—like the spark of something long denied, long overdue. You didn’t look at him, and he didn’t look at you; both of you kept your eyes fixed on the swaying branches above, as if the fragile balance between you would shatter if either of you broke the spell.
The warmth of his hand seeped into you, grounding you, anchoring you to the moment. It wasn’t just a touch—it was an admission, a promise, a vulnerability he’d never offered anyone else. Joel Miller, who had spent years building walls so high no one could breach them, had just let you in. And it was enough to make your heart ache in the most devastating, beautiful way.
You lay there together, the forest whispering around you, the sky shifting above. His thumb brushed your skin, almost imperceptibly, as though he couldn’t stop himself, as though he needed to remind himself you were still there.
And you stayed like that, wordless, motionless, the world around you slipping away until there was nothing but him, and the way his hand fit perfectly into yours.
₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊₊⊹⋆❄︎⋆⊹₊
The ride back to Jackson was quiet, but it wasn’t empty. The sound of Winnie’s hooves hitting the dirt was familiar and steady beneath you, grounding in a way that felt almost intimate. Your arms were wrapped around Joel’s waist, and though the cool evening breeze brushed against your skin, the warmth radiating from him was enough to chase it away.
Joel was the first to break the silence, his voice low and soft, meant only for you. “Told you you could do it,” he said, and there was a thread of pride in his tone, so pure it made your chest ache. “Your shootin’s gotten real good.”
The words sent a blush rushing to your cheeks, and you were grateful he couldn’t see the way you were smiling like a fool behind him. “That so?” you managed, your voice barely above a whisper.
He didn’t answer right away, and the pause felt heavier than it should have. Then, without warning, his hand left the reins and covered yours where they were clasped around his waist. His touch was steady, deliberate—a quiet reassurance that made your heart stumble over itself.
“Steady hands,” he murmured, his voice even softer now. “Steady heart.” His hand lingered there for just a moment, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles.
Your heart was thundering now, and you were sure he could feel it where your chest pressed lightly against his back. You let your cheek rest against him, the worn leather of his jacket cool beneath your skin. “Guess I had a good teacher,” you said, your voice quiet but certain, the words carrying everything you couldn’t bring yourself to say outright.
Joel let out a huff of air—a sound that might’ve passed for a laugh if it weren’t so gentle. You felt the rumble of it beneath your cheek, a low vibration that seemed to settle into your very bones. “That right?” he said gruffly, but there was no edge to it, only something soft and unspoken.
The silence stretched on, soft and comfortable, broken only by the steady rhythm of Winnie’s hooves against the dirt. The world felt small out here, just the two of you and the trail ahead, cocooned in the quiet intimacy of the moment.
“What were you like as a kid?” you asked, your voice soft, almost hesitant, like you were stepping carefully into a part of him he rarely shared.
Joel didn’t answer right away, and for a moment, you thought maybe he wouldn’t. But then his voice came, low and thoughtful, “Grew up in Texas,” he said. “Spent most of my time outside. Fishin’, climbin’ trees, gettin’ into trouble with Tommy.”
You smiled at the thought, the image of a younger Joel flashing in your mind—sun-kissed and wide-eyed, a boy too good for the world he’d been handed. “Were you the troublemaker?” you asked, teasing, but there was a softness in your tone.
Joel let out a huff, more breath than laugh, but warm all the same. “Nah,” he said, a hint of fondness creeping into his voice. “That was Tommy. Always gettin’ himself in a mess. I was the one cleanin’ up after him. Still am, come to think of it.”
The corner of your mouth tugged upward, and you shook your head lightly, even though he couldn’t see you. “Sounds like you had your hands full,” you said, your voice laced with quiet amusement. “But it doesn’t sound like a bad way to grow up.”
“Could’ve been worse,” he said simply.
“And you were in construction, right?” you asked, your tone light, almost cautious, as if not wanting to disrupt the delicate quiet between you.
“Yeah,” he said. “Took on whatever jobs I could—houses, repairs, sometimes just fixin’ fences. Wasn’t glamorous, but it was honest. Made sure Sarah had what she needed.”
There was something in the way he said her name, a warmth that softened the rough edges of his voice. It made your chest tighten, the weight of everything he’d carried alone for so long pressing against you. “Sounds like you worked hard for her,” you said softly, your words laced with admiration you didn’t bother hiding.
Joel glanced back at you briefly, his dark eyes catching the fading light of the trail. For just a second, his expression softened, the lines on his face easing. “Had to,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “She deserved that much.”
“And were you,” you started, hesitating for a moment as the words danced on the edge of your tongue. You glanced at the back of his head, at the way his shoulders shifted subtly with the rhythm of the horse. “Were you married?”
Joel’s posture stiffened at your question, just for a heartbeat, before he let out a quiet breath. “No,” he said, his voice low, deliberate. “Well… divorced.”
“Oh,” you murmured, the word soft, instinctive. You bit the inside of your cheek, suddenly wishing he could see you nod, as if it might somehow convey the understanding you didn’t quite know how to voice.
You hesitated, unsure whether to press further, but the curiosity wouldn’t let you stop. “And after the outbreak?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
It felt like uncharted territory—dangerous, intimate. You and Joel didn’t talk about relationships. Hell, you hardly talked about the past at all, and now here you were, asking questions you weren’t sure you wanted the answers to. Or maybe you did.
Joel shifted slightly in the saddle, his shoulders tightening under your arms. For a moment, you thought he might brush it off, deflect the way he so often did. But then his voice came, quieter than before, weighted with a kind of honesty that made your chest ache. “No one after that,” he said, the words slow and deliberate, like he’d been carrying them alone for too long. “Didn’t have the time. Didn’t see much point.”
Relief washed over you, unexpected and sharp, mingled with something darker, something you didn’t want to examine too closely.
You weren’t sure why you wanted him to say no—why the thought of someone else knowing him the way you did, maybe even more, made your chest tighten.
It wasn’t fair, but you couldn’t help it. You didn’t want anyone to know Joel like you did, to see the cracks in his armor he let you glimpse, the moments of tenderness he seemed to reserve just for you.
“Some of us just… don’t get second chances. That’s all,” he said, his voice softer now, like he was speaking more to the shadows of his past than to you.
Some of us don’t get second chances.
The phrase knocked the breath from your lungs, a sudden, raw ache blooming in your chest. Your heart stuttered at the thought—the idea that he believed that.
That Joel, with his quiet strength and steady hands, thought himself unworthy of something so simple, so human. The idea of him carrying that weight, that belief, settled in your bones, cold and sharp.
You wanted to tell him he was wrong. You wanted to reach into the silence and pull him back, tell him he deserved more than he could ever imagine. But the words caught in your throat, tangled in the unspoken feelings you weren’t ready to say out loud.
Because the truth was, you wanted to be his second chance. You wanted to be his, in every way that mattered. You wanted to show him that even in a world as broken as this one, he was still worthy of love and light and everything he’d spent so long denying himself.
“What about you?” Joel asked suddenly, his voice breaking through the stillness. He glanced back, just enough for you to catch the flicker of something in his eyes. Vulnerability, curiosity, maybe even hope. “You got someone waitin’ out there?”
The question sounded casual, almost offhanded, but you felt the weight beneath it—the way his words carried something deeper, something braced. Like he was preparing himself for whatever answer you might give, steeling himself for a name that wasn’t his. Boyfriend. Husband. Someone—anyone—out there waiting for you.
Your breath hitched, and you blinked, your brows lifting in surprise. A soft, startled laugh escaped before you could stop it, not because the question was funny, but because it was him asking. Him, who never asked things like this. Him, who you never thought would.
“Me?” you repeated, your voice higher, breathless with something you couldn’t quite place.
Joel’s shoulders stiffened slightly, his posture betraying the casualness his words tried to feign. “Yeah,” he said, quieter now, rougher. “You. Someone back home, or… someone out there?”
You could see it then, how much he wanted you to say no, how much he needed you to say no. The thought made your chest ache, the quiet yearning in his question making your throat tighten. You shook your head, slow and deliberate, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “No,” you said simply, your voice low, steady, but tinged with something you couldn’t hide. “There’s no one.”
Joel’s shoulders eased—just slightly, just enough for you to notice—and the sound that left him was little more than a hum, low and thoughtful. “No one, huh,” he murmured after a moment, the words quiet, like he was turning them over in his mind. Then, softer, almost to himself, he added, “I find that hard to believe.”
Your heart stopped for a beat, the words sinking into your chest like a stone dropped into still water. The quiet conviction in his tone, the way he said it like it wasn’t a compliment but a fact, left you breathless.
“Why’s that?” you asked, your voice quieter now, a whisper carried on the soft afternoon air.
Joel hesitated, his hands shifting slightly on the reins. “A girl like you,” he began, his voice low, unsteady in a way that made your pulse quicken. “Could have anyone.” He shrugged, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. “You’ve practically got all the boys in Jackson lined up. Toby. That Levi guy.”
You shut your eyes, shaking your head in frustration at how blind he was—how this man, so steady, so stubborn, couldn’t see that you loved him with every fiber of your being.
Slowly, carefully, your arms tightened around his waist, the movement deliberate, your grip firm as though you could somehow hold him together in a way no one else ever had. A secret message in your touch—silent, desperate, saying all the things you didn’t know how to put into words.
“I don’t want just anyone,” you said, your voice quiet but steady, trembling only slightly with the rawness of it. The words carried every unspoken truth you’d kept hidden, tucked away in the quiet spaces between your moments together.
You didn’t know if he’d understand—not fully—but you had to try. You had to give him this, even if it was just enough to plant the seed of something he’d been too blind to see.
Joel’s breath hitched, sharp and sudden, the sound cutting through the tension like a lightning strike. You felt it under your cheek where it rested against his back, the way his ribs rose and fell in a shallow, uneven rhythm. He didn’t speak—didn’t turn or shift—but the tension in his shoulders gave him away, his body betraying everything his words wouldn’t.
You let your eyes drift closed, the warmth of Joel’s back beneath your cheek grounding you, his presence steady in a way that made your heart ache. Winnie’s sure, rhythmic pace felt like it could carry you both away from the world, from everything, into a place that was just this. Just him.
I could stay here forever, you thought, the words unspoken but so loud in your chest it almost hurt. My cheek against his back. My heartbeat pressed into his spine. Safe.
The silence stretched, soft and full, until the thought finally broke free, escaping as a murmur that carried with it something raw and fragile as you spoke, “I think we would’ve gotten along back then.”
“I think we would’ve too.”
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
It was Christmas Eve.
You perched on the edge of Maria’s kitchen counter, swinging your legs idly as she moved around the room, her hands busy but her sharp gaze flicking to you now and then.
A Christmas hat dangled precariously on your head—your Christmas hat, patched together from mismatched scraps scavenged over the past few weeks on patrols with Joel. The red fabric had come from a faded curtain in a half-collapsed house, and the fleece trim? From an old jacket no one could use. The stitching was uneven, one side slumping more than the other, but it had heart.
Joel had never asked about it. Not outright. He’d just given you those raised eyebrows of his, paired with that low mutter—“Don’t know what the hell you’re plannin’ on doin’ with that.” And yet, not once did he stop you from stuffing another scrap into your pack.
Maria glanced at you as she slid a bowl of something fragrant onto the counter. “So,” she said casually, a smirk already tugging at her lips, “how was shooting with your man?”
“Oh my god,” you said, your voice rushing out in a flustered tumble. “He’s not my man.”
Maria leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms as her smirk widened, sharp and teasing. “Yeah,” she said lightly, dragging out the words, “but you’re almost there, though.”
You opened your mouth to shoot back some half-hearted denial, but instead, a soft sigh escaped. The fight left you before it even started. “It was sweet,” you admitted, almost to yourself, the edges of your lips curling into a small, unbidden smile. “He’s… sweet.”
The memory of him holding your hand lingered, unshakable.
You wouldn’t tell Maria that, though. No way. She’d have a field day with it.
“You’re in loooove,” she sang, dragging out the word like it was some cosmic revelation.
Your jaw dropped, heat flushing your face as you scrambled for anything, anything, to shut her up. “I—”
Nope. Nothing.
So, you did the next best thing. Reaching over to her cutting board, you snatched up a slice of carrot and popped it into your mouth before she could stop you. “Whatever,” you said around the crunch, waving her off as if her words hadn’t just hit you square in the chest.
“Hey! That’s for dinner,” Maria scolded, her tone caught somewhere between irritation and amusement as she shot you a sharp look.
“Relax, you’ve got like fifty more,” you said, waving a hand toward the mountain of chopped vegetables she’d already prepped.
“Yeah, and I’m counting on you to ruin at least ten of those by sneaking bites,” she quipped, her knife hovering over the cutting board as she gave you a mock glare. “Seriously, get out of my kitchen. I’ve got enough to worry about without you slowing me down.”
“I’m here to help,” you protested, raising your hands in exaggerated surrender, your grin refusing to fade. “I could chop something. Or, like… boil water? I’m a multi-talented individual.”
Maria snorted, her eyebrow arching skeptically. “Oh, sure. And if I wanted someone to set the kitchen on fire, I’d call Tommy.” She waved her knife at you for emphasis, her smirk cutting through the threat. “Go. Living room. Now.”
“Fine, fine,” you sighed dramatically, sliding off the counter with an exaggerated slump of your shoulders. “But for the record, this is the last time I offer my expertise to this household.”
Maria didn’t even look up, her focus already back on the cutting board. “Expertise,” she muttered under her breath with a scoff. “God help us all.”
As you shuffled toward the doorway, dragging your feet for maximum effect, you couldn’t help but shoot a glance over your shoulder, your grin widening as Maria flicked a stray piece of carrot in your direction without looking. You caught it midair, popping it into your mouth with a crunch that echoed defiantly through the kitchen.
“Living room!” she barked, her voice sharp but laced with unmistakable warmth.
“Going, going,” you called back, retreating into the next room with a laugh, your heart lighter than it had been in weeks.
“Hello, baby,” you murmured as the living room couch came into view, the words half a sigh of longing. It practically called your name, and you didn’t hesitate, flopping onto it with all the grace of a potato sack. A groan escaped you, muffled by the cushion as you sprawled out, one arm draped dramatically over your eyes.
For a moment, you stared at the clock on the wall. 4 p.m. Two whole hours until dinner. Two hours until Tommy and Joel got back from patrol. Two hours of absolutely nothing to do but wait—and wasn’t that just the most unbearable stretch of time?
“Maria!” you called out, your voice loud enough to carry back to the kitchen.
“What?” came her sharp reply, tinged with her usual exasperation, followed by the rhythmic chop of her knife against the cutting board.
“Can I take a nap?” you asked, drawing the words out in a mock plea for permission, even as you settled deeper into the cushions.
There was a pause. You heard her muttering, low and unmistakable, and you caught just enough to know she’d said something like “lazy ass.”
You couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. “Love you too!” you called back, but you didn’t bother waiting for her retort. Sleep was already pulling you under, warm and heavy, the couch a cocoon against the fading afternoon light.
Whatever meddling Maria had planned for the evening—whatever teasing or remarks or too-knowing smiles she had up her sleeve—it could wait. Joel would be back soon, and for now, that was enough.
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
You woke with someone poking your face. Actually poking your cheek.
Your eyelids fluttered open, the haze of sleep blurring your vision as you struggled to make sense of the looming figure above you. It was Joel, his hand hovering suspiciously close to your face, like he was about to do it again.
“You drool when you sleep,” he said plainly, his voice gravelly and low.
“Joel?” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep, your mind still caught between dreams and the dim reality of the room.
“No, it’s Santa,” he replied dryly, a faint flicker of amusement in his tone as he stepped back and crossed his arms.
You pushed yourself upright, blinking around the room to find the clock. The arms of the clock stared back at you: 6:15 PM.
“How was patrol?” you asked, your voice soft and thick with sleep as you rubbed at your eyes with the back of your hand, still trying to shake off the lingering haze.
Joel chuckled, the sound low and warm, sending a quiet thrill through you despite yourself. He dropped heavily onto the couch beside you, his weight making the cushions sag. His arms stretched out across the back of the couch, his posture relaxed but his presence anything but. You shifted instinctively, making room for him.
“Fine,” he said with a shrug, his voice as casual as ever. But there was a flicker of mischief in his eyes as he added, “Though we got things done faster ‘cause you weren’t there yappin’ my ear off.”
“Please,” you huffed, throwing him a look as you leaned back into the couch, trying to ignore how close his arm was to brushing your shoulder. “You love it.”
Joel shrugged again, feigning nonchalance, but his lips twitched upward in a faint, unguarded smile.
“Can’t believe you were sleepin’,” Joel muttered, tilting his head toward you, his voice thick with a faint yawn. “Shouldn’t you be helpin’ Maria?”
You groaned, leaning your head back against the couch, letting your frustration bleed into an exaggerated pout. “She practically kicked me out of the kitchen,” you muttered, your voice laced with mock indignation.
Joel turned his head, and the faintest smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, how’d I forget? Can shoot a man dead, but can’t even bake a potato.”
You snorted, rolling your eyes as heat flushed your cheeks. Without thinking, you reached for the nearest pillow, brandishing it like a weapon. “Ha-ha. Very funny,” you shot back, tossing it at him with little care for accuracy.
The pillow bounced harmlessly off his shoulder, and to your surprise, Joel laughed—a real laugh, deep and unguarded, rumbling low in his chest. It wasn’t something you heard often, and the sound caught you off guard, striking something tender inside you. You wanted to freeze the moment, hold it tight, and keep it for all the days when he felt a million miles away.
When the laughter faded, a quiet calm settled over the room. Comfortable, warm, and charged with something you couldn’t name. Joel’s dark eyes lingered on you, softer than you’d seen in a long time, his smirk mellowing into a faint, almost shy smile.
You felt yourself staring back, your lips curving into an answering smile before you could even think about it. There was something about him like this—unguarded, at ease—that made your chest ache, your breath hitching before you caught it.
He shook his head, his gaze dropping to his lap for a moment before returning to you. “You’ve got—” Joel chuckled, pausing mid-sentence like he was trying to stop himself. But then he reached over, his fingers brushing against your lip, and your heart stuttered.
“Drool,” he said, his voice low, tinged with something you couldn’t quite pin down. “All over your damn face, you silly girl.”
His touch was fleeting, so light it might’ve been nothing, but it left sparks in its wake, the warmth of his fingers lingering long after he pulled away.
Joel leaned back, shaking his head like he was fighting off a grin, but you caught it—the quiet fondness in the way he looked at you, the way his eyes lingered just a second too long.
For a moment, it was just the two of you. The world outside the living room melted away, leaving nothing but the low hum of the fire, the faint scent of Maria’s cooking drifting in from the kitchen, and the feeling swelling between you.
“Dinner’s ready!” Maria’s voice rang out from the kitchen, cutting through the quiet like a sharp blade, snapping the two of you back to reality.
Joel’s hand, which had lingered just a second too long near your mouth, dropped abruptly, as if he’d only just realized it was there. He cleared his throat, the sound rough and awkward, his gaze darting away from yours. “Better get movin’,” he muttered, his tone gruff, like he was trying to pull himself together.
He pushed himself up from the couch, his movements stiff and purposeful, tugging at the hem of his jacket like he needed something—anything—to do with his hands.
You stayed where you were, watching him as your heart thudded in your chest, the warmth of his touch still ghosting over your skin.
“C’mon,” he said, softer now. “Maria’ll have my head if we’re late.”
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
The dining room was warm, cozy in the way only Maria could make it. The table was set with care, adorned with steaming bowls of vegetables, a mound of golden mashed potatoes, a basket of fresh bread, and little details that made the world outside feel miles away.
“Maria, this looks incredible,” you said as you pulled out your chair, the scent of everything making your stomach rumble.
Maria smirked, hands on her hips as she surveyed the table with satisfaction. “Look how much work I got done without you sneaking bites of my veggies,” she teased, her eyes twinkling as she shot you a playful glare.
“You’re a naughty one,” Tommy quipped, his grin wide as he turned to Maria, leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek. “You’ve outdone yourself, baby.”
Joel slid into the chair across from you, the scrape of wood against the floor almost lost in the hum of conversation. His gaze caught yours for just a beat—a quiet, fleeting connection—before he looked away, his attention falling to the food in front of him.
“So,” Tommy began, already reaching for the bread as if he hadn’t eaten in days, “Joel and I had quite the day on patrol.”
Joel huffed, his lips tugging into a wry smirk as he leaned back slightly in his chair. “If by ‘quite the day,’ you mean you spent half of it yappin’ and the other half tripping over your own damn feet, then yeah, sure.”
The comment drew a laugh from your lips. Joel’s gaze flicked toward you again, his eyes catching yours, and for a moment, his expression softened.
Tommy, oblivious as ever, was already grinning smugly as he tore into a piece of bread, slathering it with butter. “Hey, I didn’t hear you complainin’ when I saved your ass from that clicker,” he shot back, wagging the bread at Joel like a weapon.
Joel leaned back in his chair, shaking his head slowly. “I had that under control,” he said gruffly, his voice carrying just enough edge to hold back Tommy’s teasing.
Tommy barked a laugh, clearly enjoying himself, but the word clicker lodged itself in your chest like a thorn. The lighthearted chatter around you blurred into static as the weight of the word pulled your attention elsewhere. Your fork froze midair, the food on your plate forgotten as your gaze snapped to Joel.
“Clicker?” you asked, your voice soft but taut with concern, your brows furrowing as your chest tightened. All the humor drained from your face, replaced by something raw and unguarded. Your eyes searched his, desperate for assurance, for some unspoken promise that everything was fine.
Joel’s jaw tightened as he saw the worry etched into your expression. “Yeah,” he admitted after a beat, his voice low and steady, smoothing the jagged edges of the truth. “Just one. It was alone. Nothin’ we couldn’t handle.”
His gaze locked onto yours then, steady and insistent, and the intensity of it made your heart falter. It wasn’t just words he was giving you; it was something more—a silent plea for you to believe him, to let him carry this so you wouldn’t have to.
“It wasn’t a big deal,” he added, his tone softer now, like he was trying to calm the storm he knew was already brewing in your mind. Joel wasn’t good at words, not when it came to things like this, but the way he leaned slightly forward, his shoulders tense, told you he felt it—the weight of your fear, your worry.
God, he thought, looking at you, his own chest tightening at the way you seemed to fold into yourself, worry so plainly written on your face. If he were half the man he wished he was, he’d reach across the table, take your hand, and kiss that fear right out of you. He’d tell you, I’ve got you, and make you believe it.
But he wasn’t, so he didn’t. Instead, his hand hovered over the table for a split second, as if it might defy him, before retreating to his lap.
You nodded slowly, but the tightness in your chest refused to ease. The weight of Joel’s words lingered, heavy and uneasy, the thought of him—your Joel—that close to danger settling like a stone beneath your ribs. “Okay,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as your fingers fidgeted with the frayed edge of your napkin.
“I’m fine,” he said at last, his voice softer now, almost tentative. His eyes, though, carried the weight of a promise, silent but firm: I’m fine. I won’t let anything happen to me. Not when it would hurt you.
The moment stretched between you, filled with something unspoken but undeniable, before Tommy, blissfully oblivious to the tension, jumped back in with a teasing grin. “Yeah, well, I’m the one who made sure he stayed that way,” he said, tearing into another piece of bread with all the smugness in the world.
“Anyways,” Tommy said, undeterred, turning his full attention to you with his mouth still half-full of bread. “Joel was tellin’ me you shot a damn deer. That true, darlin’?”
Your cheeks warmed instantly, the heat spreading down your neck as you ducked your head. You nudged the peas on your plate with the tines of your fork, suddenly unable to meet anyone’s gaze. “Yeah,” you mumbled, biting your lip. “But Joel basically did all the work.”
“Not true,” Joel cut in, his voice steady and firm, leaving no room for argument. He set his utensils down and leaned forward slightly, his gaze locking on you with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “She did it all herself,” he said, his tone softening, a quiet pride lacing every word. “Too modest for her own good, as always. She lined up the shot, kept steady, and didn’t flinch—not once. Clean hit, too. Not many folks can say they’ve got that kind of aim, especially their first time.”
Your cheeks burned hotter under his praise, and you dared a glance up, only to find him still watching you, his expression warm and earnest. “Really impressed me,” Joel added, his voice dropping slightly, almost as if the words were meant just for you. “Takes guts to do what she did. Can’t teach that. She’s a natural.”
Tommy let out a low whistle, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. “Well, damn,” he said, grinning. “Sounds like you’ve got some real competition now, Joel.”
Joel didn’t even glance at Tommy, his focus still entirely on you. “She’s better than I ever was,” he said simply, the honesty in his tone making your heart ache in the best possible way.
Tommy let out a low whistle, leaning back in his chair with an appreciative nod. His gaze flicked between the two of you, a teasing glint in his eye, but for once, he didn’t say anything about it. “Well, I’ll be damned. Good job, sweetheart,” he said, his voice warm, the smile he gave you full of pride.
You glanced up, catching Joel’s expression as he reached for his drink. His eyes lingered on you, softer than you’d ever seen, a quiet pride flickering in their depths. That’s my girl, you could almost hear him think, though the words never left his lips.
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
After dinner, the group drifted into the living room, the gentle crackle of the fire glowing steadily in the hearth lulling everyone into a comfortable rhythm.
Tommy and Maria claimed the couch closest to the flames, their silhouettes bathed in the warm amber light.
You lay sprawled out on the floor, propped up on your elbows, your feet swaying idly behind you as you flipped through an old scavenged recipe book Tommy had brought back for Maria on patrol. The room seemed to hum with an easy warmth, the golden light catching on the strands of tinsel Maria had strung up earlier in the week.
Across from you, Joel sat on the far couch, his posture deceptively relaxed, though the way his fingers curled around the glass of whiskey betrayed a quiet tension. The amber liquid swirled lazily as he tilted it in his hand, but his attention wasn’t on the drink—it was on you. You didn’t have to look up to confirm it; you could feel his gaze, steady and unwavering, burning into you with an intensity that made your skin prickle and your heartbeat quicken.
You swallowed hard, trying—and failing—to ignore the weight of his eyes, the way they seemed to see through every wall you’d so carefully constructed. Instead, you focused on the firelight dancing across the room, on the warm crackle of the wood burning low in the hearth, on the worn fabric of the book in your lap that you hadn’t turned a page of in far too long. Anything but him.
But it was impossible. He was impossible to ignore. His face, slightly pink from the fire’s glow and the remnants of the day’s sun, was achingly familiar yet disarmingly softened in this moment. His dark lashes, impossibly long, fluttered with every slow blink, as though time moved differently for him. You caught yourself wondering if he was thinking about you—or if he already knew you were thinking about him.
“Okay,” you said suddenly, breaking the comfortable lull in the room, your voice a touch too bright, betraying the nervous energy humming beneath the surface. You sat up straighter, tucking your legs beneath you, your arms crossing behind your back in a small, self-conscious gesture. “I have a surprise for everyone.”
Maria tilted her head, a flicker of curiosity lighting up her eyes. She raised a single brow, her tone a mix of intrigue and caution. “A surprise?” she echoed, drawing the word out like she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.
“You’re pregnant!” Tommy blurted out, a mischievous grin splitting his face as he leaned back, clearly pleased with his own joke.
“Tommy,” Joel said sharply, his voice cutting through the moment like a blade. The single word carried enough weight to make his brother immediately hold up his hands in mock surrender.
You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, crawling up your neck and settling there as a stubborn flush. But you didn’t look back, didn’t dare meet anyone’s gaze, least of all Joel’s. Instead, you crouched near the corner, your fingers diving into the bag you’d carefully stashed earlier. The familiar texture of the fabric met your fingertips, grounding you as you grasped it.
You turned back to your bag and pulled out the Christmas hats you had made for everyone, holding them up triumphantly with a grin that spread from ear to ear. “Ta-da!”
Maria’s eyes widened, and then her hand shot to her mouth to stifle a laugh. “Oh, God, you made more,” she said, though the amusement in her voice betrayed her words.
“Damn right I did,” you replied, your grin unstoppable as you shook out the cascade of red and white fabric, the soft material spilling over your arms like a dramatic reveal.
Tommy leaned forward, squinting at the hats like they were a personal insult. “Sorry, darlin’, but those are some ugly-ass hats.”
“Hey!” you shot back, clutching the fabric like they were precious cargo. “They’re not just hats.” You pointed a finger at him, your grin growing wider. “They’re Christmas hats. Festive, delightful, and mandatory.”
Before Tommy could even open his mouth to protest, you strode toward him and plopped one onto his head with an exaggerated flourish. The pom-pom flopped to one side, the whole thing slightly askew, and yet it was perfect—perfectly ridiculous.
“Maria, help me out here,” Tommy groaned, gesturing toward his head with his free hand like the hat was some great injustice.
Maria shook her head, her own laughter soft and warm. “Sorry, honey, but I think it suits you.”
You turned to Maria, handing her a smaller hat trimmed with red velvet and gold ribbon. “And this one’s for you.”
“Gosh,” she murmured, her tone half-teasing, half-genuine. “You shouldn’t have. Really—you shouldn’t have.”
Next, you turned to Joel. He was watching you.
The weight of his gaze was heavy, grounding, and it stole the breath right out of your lungs. Your steps faltered for a heartbeat, the oversized Christmas hat clutched tighter in your hands like it could shield you from the way his eyes bore into you.
The walk to the couch stretched longer than it should have, each step carrying the ghost of that night—the night of spin-the-bottle.
The memory slammed into you unbidden, vivid and searing: the heat of Joel’s lap beneath you, the solid weight of his thighs pressing against your own. You could still feel it, the way his breath had mingled with yours, warm and shallow, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with your own. You’d been so close. His breath had ghosted against your skin, and for one fleeting second, you’d thought—hoped—he’d kiss you.
“What you got for me, darlin’?” Joel’s voice broke through the haze, low and rough, his drawl curling around you like smoke. It was quiet, meant just for you.
Your heart stuttered, your fingers clutching the hat tighter as you stopped in front of him. His eyes hadn’t moved—not once.
“This one’s for you,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling slightly as it escaped your lips. You hated the way it wavered, like a tightrope swaying in the wind, hated how exposed he made you feel. Like he could see everything—every soft, raw, guarded secret you tried so desperately to keep hidden.
Joel hummed low in his throat, a deep, quiet sound that thrummed through the room and settled heavy in your chest. His fingers reached up—not to take the hat, but to brush lightly over the fabric where it rested in your hands.
His dark eyes flicked from the hat to your face. Then, faint and almost reluctant, the corner of his lips curved into a smile.
It wasn’t the teasing smirk he reserved for Tommy or the polite, distant warmth he gave to Maria. This was something else entirely. Softer. Warmer. And it wrecked you because there was no hiding the truth in it—adoration, raw and unguarded, spilling from him like he hadn’t even realized it was there for the world to see.
From the other couch, Tommy leaned toward Maria, his voice low enough to think you wouldn’t hear. “Joel’d never be caught dead in somethin’ like that.”
But Joel didn’t flinch. He didn’t glance in Tommy’s direction or roll his eyes the way you expected him to. Instead, he set his glass down on the small table beside him with deliberate care, his movements slow and measured.
“Well then,” he drawled, his voice low and rough, laced with something that made your breath catch. “Go ahead.”
Your hands trembled slightly,“You… want me to—?”
He tilted his head slightly, his lips quirking just enough to send your heart tumbling in your chest. “I ain’t puttin’ it on myself.”
The space closed as you stepped closer, your hands trembling as you raised the hat toward him. You didn’t notice the ridiculous green felt or the uneven trim. All you could feel was him. The way his hair brushed softly against your fingertips, surprising you with its texture. The way his shoulders loomed in your vision, broad and unyielding, steadying you even as your heart raced so fast it threatened to undo you.
Joel didn’t flinch, didn’t pull back. He stayed perfectly still, his dark eyes locked on you, unwavering, as if this moment was as pivotal for him as it was for you.
Your heart pounded in your ears as the world around you disappeared entirely. All you wanted—all you needed—was to close the space between you, to sink down and kiss him, consequences be damned.
From the other couch, Maria’s hand darted out, smacking Tommy lightly on the leg, “Oh my God, look at them,” Maria muttered, her voice hushed.
When you finally stepped back, the hat perched crookedly on Joel’s head, you allowed yourself to take him in.
It was utterly ridiculous—the slouched green fabric and the pom-pom dangling lopsidedly made him look impossibly out of place, like he’d been roped into something far beneath his dignity.
But somehow, impossibly, it suited him. Or maybe it was just because he was him—Joel Miller, so rugged and handsome he couldn’t possibly look bad in anything.
Your lips quirked upward before you could stop them, the warmth in your chest blooming like the soft glow of the fire.
“Perfect,” you whispered, the word slipping out unbidden, your voice barely audible.
Joel tilted his head slightly, the faintest breath of a huff escaping him, low and rough. “You happy?” he asked, his voice gruff but quieter than usual, like the words carried a tenderness he wasn’t sure how to show.
“Yes,” you murmured, the word trembling as it left you. “Very.”
His lips pressed together in the faintest twitch of a smile, his gaze flicking away for a second before settling back on you. He shook his head, slow and deliberate, like he couldn’t quite believe himself. “Good,” he murmured, his voice so low you almost didn’t catch it.
And it ached—physically ached—because you knew. Deep down, in a place you rarely let yourself linger, you understood that there wasn’t a single universe where Joel Miller would wear something like this for anyone but you. It wasn’t for Tommy’s teasing or Maria’s amused approval, and it certainly wasn’t for the absurd cheer of the holidays. No, he’d done it for you.
Every glance, every quiet word, every second of stillness as he sat there with that ridiculous hat on his head—he’d done it because it made you happy. Because somehow, in a way neither of you dared to name, you mattered to him.
And it wrecked you. It wrecked you because Joel Miller—this man who had built himself out of iron and grit, who would rather face a swarm of infected or a pack of raiders than do anything to chip away at the unyielding, stoic image he’d crafted—had done this without hesitation. For you. The thought was staggering, dizzying, and when he looked at you again, his eyes softer than they had any right to be, you knew: he’d do anything for you. He’d endure anything. He’d die for you.
“Tommys gonna think I’ve gone soft,” Joel murmured, his voice low and meant only for you.
Your smile deepened, warmth pooling in your chest, and you tilted your head slightly, your voice just as soft. “Have you?”
You were still standing in front of him, looking down at where he sat on the couch, the firelight catching in his dark eyes, making them burn with something unspoken.
“D’ya think I have?” he asked, his voice rough, quiet, the rasp of it threading through your veins and anchoring you to the moment.
You swallowed, the tension tightening in your chest like a quiet ache, the words slipping out in a whisper. “Maybe.”
Joel’s lips twitched, the faintest ghost of a smile, though his eyes stayed on yours, unreadable yet devastatingly open all at once. “Then maybe,” he murmured, his tone dipping lower, softer, pulling you closer like a tide you couldn’t resist.
The heat in his gaze felt too much, too raw, and you turned, ready to claim your seat by the fireplace and retreat before it swallowed you whole.
“Hey.”
Joel’s voice stopped you mid-step, rough but not sharp, more like a tether than a command. Your breath caught as the word curled around you, pulling you back to him.
“Come sit with me.”
You turned slowly, the quiet invitation pressing against you like gravity. He was still sitting there, his hand resting on his knee, fingers loosely curled, the other gripping the armrest. His broad frame leaned slightly forward, like he couldn’t help but close some of the space between you—as if his body physically couldn’t bear the distance, even in the same room.
His expression was carefully unreadable, a mask you’d seen him wear so many times before, but his eyes—oh, his eyes—gave him away. A silent plea wrapped in his gaze.
“If you want,” he added, almost shyly, his voice dipping lower, like he didn’t want to push too hard.
If you want. The simplicity of it nearly broke you. Joel Miller, a man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders without complaint, who never asked for anything, was asking now—for you.
“Okay,” you said softly, your voice barely audible.
Slowly, you settled next to him on the couch, the heat of his body radiating toward you like a magnet pulling you in. Your thighs pressed together, neither of you daring to move away.
Joel shifted slightly, just enough to turn his head toward you, his dark eyes catching the firelight. “That’s better,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, each word like a warm ember slipping into the space between you.
The sound of his voice wrapped around you, soft but steady, and it seeped into your bones, settling somewhere deep in your chest. Your lips twitched, threatening a smile you couldn’t quite hold back.
“Yeah,” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath, but the words carried everything you couldn’t bring yourself to say. “Much better.”
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
One drink turned into two. Two turned into three. And before you knew it, the edges of the world had softened, the flickering firelight blending into a warm, golden haze that wrapped around you like a blanket.
You weren’t someone who got drunk—it wasn’t your thing. You knew your limits, knew when to stop, how to keep control. But tonight… tonight felt different.
Tommy, with his easy grin and mischievous glint, was no help at all. Every time Joel told him to quit—his voice low, tinged with irritation—Tommy would wave him off with a laugh, saying something about Joel having a stick up his ass.
“C’mon, Joel. Live a little,” Tommy drawled, pouring you another drink with all the flair of a showman. And you, caught up in the warmth and ease of the night, shrugged and raised your glass in a tipsy cheer, obliging without a second thought.
Somehow, the night unraveled from there. You’d gone from sitting beside Joel, close enough to feel the subtle heat radiating off him, to sprawling across the living room floor, your head tipped back, your arms stretched wide. Your voice—off-key and full of enthusiasm—belted out Last Christmas like it was your personal anthem, each wobbling note echoing off the walls.
Tommy was in stitches, practically doubled over on the couch as he slapped his knee in delight. Maria shook her head, her smile soft and indulgent as she sipped her drink, her eyes crinkling with barely-contained amusement.
But Joel—Joel stayed quiet. He hadn’t joined in the way Tommy had, hadn’t pushed the bottle toward you or filled your glass with a mischievous grin. He sat on the couch, his broad frame hunched slightly forward, one hand resting on his knee, his dark eyes fixed on you with a quiet intensity.
He wasn’t laughing. His lips were pressed into a firm line, his brow furrowed just enough to make your chest tighten if you weren’t already too clouded to notice. It wasn’t disapproval exactly—not the kind you might’ve expected from someone like him—but something closer to worry.
His dark eyes stayed on you, steady and unflinching, like he was trying to gauge how far you were from the line, how much longer until he might need to step in.
At one point, something small—a bottle cap, maybe—rolled under the coffee table. It didn’t matter what it was; in your tipsy state, it became an immediate priority. With all the single-minded determination of someone far too gone, you leaned forward, hands groping blindly under the table, muttering something about how “everything needs its place.”
You didn’t notice the sharp edge of the table creeping closer, didn’t feel the unsteadiness in your own balance as you reached further and further. But Joel did.
He moved before you even realized - his hand, warm and rough, settled over the crown of your head just as you were about to smack it against the edge of the table. The pressure was firm but careful, guiding you gently away from danger before you could even process it.
“Careful, baby,” he murmured, the words low and instinctive, slipping out before he even realized what he’d said.
You didn’t register it, your focus still entirely on the bottle cap beneath your fingers. “Got it,” you mumbled after a moment, your voice smaller than you intended as you pulled back, victorious and unaware.
When Tommy reached for the bottle to pour you another drink, Joel stepped in without hesitation. His hand closed over the neck of the bottle, firm and commanding, pulling it away before Tommy could even tilt it.
“All right, that’s enough,” Joel said, his voice steady but carrying an edge sharp enough to cut through the room’s hazy warmth.
Tommy blinked, caught off guard for a moment before his easy grin slid back into place. “Hey, man,” he started, his tone light but laced with the slightest edge of challenge. “The girl wants a drink.”
“Quit, Tommy,” Joel said, his tone dropping lower, heavier, leaving no room for argument. His eyes cut to his brother with a pointed sharpness that made Tommy sit back slightly, hands raised in mock surrender.
“Fucking child,” Joel muttered under his breath, just loud enough for you to catch it.
Maria stood then, shaking her head as she picked up the nearest empty glass with a sigh. “Honestly, you two are worse than children,” she said, her voice exasperated but warm, her eyes flicking between the brothers like this was nothing new.
The haze in your mind started to shift then, softening into something weightier, more complicated. The room seemed quieter, heavier, and your cheeks burned—not just from the whiskey but from the weight of Joel’s eyes on you. He wasn’t laughing like Tommy, nor sighing like Maria. He was watching you.
You shifted slightly, your fingers curling into the fabric of your jeans as a quiet embarrassment crept in. Not because of him, but because he could see the truth you weren’t ready to admit—not even to yourself. That you weren’t drunk for nothing. That this wasn’t just another night. Joel saw it, as he always did, and somehow, that made you feel both more vulnerable and more understood than ever.
“You’ve had enough,” he murmured, his voice low and steady as he reached for your glass. Joel leaned back against the couch, his broad frame sinking into the worn cushions.
“I don’t… I don’t get drunk,” you mumbled, your voice unsteady, trailing off as you lay back against the carpet. Your eyes stared upward, fixed on the wall as if it held the answers you couldn’t find yourself. The words were soft, almost more to yourself than to him, but the slight slur in your tone betrayed you. “I’m not drunk,” you added, weaker this time, as if saying it aloud might make it true.
Tommy grinned from his spot on the couch, raising his hands in mock solidarity. “Me neither, sister.”
“Exactly,” you said, jabbing a wobbly finger in his direction as if he’d just made the most compelling argument of the night.
Joel’s voice broke through the room then, low and firm, slicing through the haze like a knife. “You’re drunk.”
Your head snapped toward him, narrowing your bleary focus on the man who’d barely spoken all night. Joel sat back on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped loosely in front of him. His posture screamed patience, but the kind that was wearing thin.
“You’re grumpy,” you said, a weak jab, though the words stumbled on their way out. “And I am not drunk.”
Joel arched an eyebrow, leaning back slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Right. That why you’re lyin’ there like you can’t tell which way’s up?”
Your brows furrowed, defiance bubbling up despite the haze in your head. “Alright,” you said, preparing to stand up. “I’ll prove it to you.”
Joel’s eyes narrowed just slightly, his brow creasing as he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “No,” he said, his voice low, steady, and firm. “I believe you. Don’t gotta prove nothin’.”
“See?” you huffed, crossing your arms like you’d just won an argument. “That’s what I thought.”
Joel exhaled through his nose, dragging a hand down his face like he was physically holding himself back from commenting. “Christ,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.
Maria stood then, stretching with a soft yawn and giving Tommy a light nudge. “Alright, it’s way past my bedtime,” she announced. Her gaze shifted to you, her expression softening. “You can stay here tonight,” she offered, her voice resolute. “No sense sending you out like this.”
You opened your mouth to agree, but Joel was already moving. His shoulders stiffened, his jaw flexing as he stood abruptly.
“No,” Joel said, the word coming out firm, final, leaving no room for debate. His voice cut through the room with quiet authority, drawing all eyes to him. “I’ll take her home.”
Maria blinked, visibly surprised. Her gaze flicked between you and Joel, her eyebrows arching slightly as her lips curved into the faintest hint of a knowing smile. “You sure?”
“She’ll sleep better in her own bed,” he said gruffly, the words deliberate but carrying a weight that was hard to ignore.
Maria tilted her head, her brow lifting as if to say Oh, really? But she didn’t argue, just exchanged a quick glance with Tommy, whose grin threatened to break across his face.
Tommy stretched lazily, his grin lopsided as he turned to you with a look that could only be described as fond mischief. “Night, troublemaker,” he said, his voice brimming with affection. His gaze slid to Joel, and the grin widened, his tone taking on a teasing edge. “Be careful. This one’s feisty when she’s drunk.”
“I’m not drunk,” you mumbled, but the slur in your words betrayed you, and Tommy’s chuckle made your cheeks burn.
“Sure you’re not,” he said, ruffling your hair like you were a kid. You swatted weakly at his hand, your protest too slow to land, and he laughed again, shaking his head.
He clapped Joel on the shoulder as he passed, the weight of it friendly but carrying a knowing edge. “Good luck,” he added, the words laced with that unmistakable Tommy charm.
Joel sighed, the sound low and heavy, threading with both frustration and a quiet sort of resignation. He didn’t bother responding to Tommy, didn’t even glance his way. Instead, his focus was on you, his dark eyes sharp and steady as he stepped closer.
“C’mon,” he muttered, his voice gruff but softer than you expected. His large hands reached for you, settling gently at your elbows as he helped you up, his grip firm and steady. You wobbled slightly, your balance faltering just enough to make Joel’s hold tighten instinctively.
“Easy,” he murmured, his voice dipping lower, almost like a coaxing whisper. His hands shifted, one sliding to your lower back to steady you as you leaned into him without realizing it.
Together, you made your way toward the front door, Joel guiding you with a patience that felt like it shouldn’t belong to someone as gruff as him.
The boots by the door stared back at you, almost mocking in their silent challenge. You blinked down at them, swaying slightly, trying to figure out how you were supposed to get them on when the floor seemed to tilt every time you moved.
“Alright,” Joel said, nodding toward the boots. “One shoe at a time. Think you can handle that?”
“Obviously,” you muttered, though your fumbling hands betrayed your confidence almost immediately. You bent down to grab one of the boots, determined to prove him wrong, only for the room to tilt ever so slightly, the lazy spin of the world throwing you off balance.
Before you could topple forward, Joel’s hand shot out, his grip firm and steady as it curled around your arm. “Thought you said you weren’t drunk,” he muttered under his breath, his tone low but laced with exasperated fondness.
He guided you upright gently, his other hand bracing at your side. “Hold still, or you’re gonna end up kissin’ the floor,” he added, dropping down to one knee in front of you with a quiet sigh.
You froze, your breath catching in your throat as heat surged to your cheeks, spreading like wildfire through your chest. Joel Miller, kneeling in front of you, his broad frame grounded and steady against the backdrop of the room, sent your pulse into a frantic rhythm you couldn’t seem to control.
Joel laced the boot quickly, his movements efficient but deliberate, the steady brush of his fingers against the leather sending warmth up your spine. When he finished, his hand lingered for just a moment longer, giving your calf a light squeeze. It was subtle, almost absentminded, but achingly tender—like he couldn’t help himself, like the simple touch meant more than he could say.
“There,” he said softly once he finished, giving your leg another light pat before standing again. He stepped back with a groan, his dark eyes sweeping over you in a way that felt less like he was checking your boots and more like he was checking you, making sure you were steady, secure, okay.
You looked up at him, wide-eyed, your face flushed, hair sticking out in every direction, a picture of tipsy disarray. Joel’s gaze softened despite himself, his lips pressing into a line that didn’t quite hide the tenderness creeping into his expression.
“You’re a mess, y’know that?” he muttered, shaking his head with a soft huff. But even as the words left his mouth, he leaned closer, his hand lifting with a careful steadiness to brush a strand of hair from your face.
“I’m fine,” you argued weakly, even as your feet betrayed you, slipping slightly on the uneven floor.
He turned, grabbing your coat from the hook by the door, shaking it out before holding it open in front of you. “Arms up.”
You blinked at him, your mind struggling to catch up. “What?”
“Arms up,” he repeated, this time with more insistence. When you still didn’t move fast enough, Joel sighed, muttering under his breath as he stepped closer, already lifting your arms himself.
“Jesus,” he muttered, tugging the coat snug over your shoulders with a final, purposeful motion. “You’re worse than dealin’ with a kid.”
“Don’t be mean,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze as your fingers fidgeted with the edge of your sleeve, your voice carrying the faintest pout.
Joel’s lips twitched—not quite a smile, but just enough to send a flicker of warmth curling in your chest, cutting through the biting cold lingering beyond the door. “I’m not bein’ mean,” he murmured, his tone softening, though that familiar gruffness clung to the edges, giving his words weight. “Just tryin’ to get my girl home in one piece.”
The words slipped out so naturally, so effortlessly, that Joel himself didn’t even realize what he’d said. His focus remained on you as he adjusted the coat on your shoulders, his movements careful, deliberate, like you might catch a chill if he left even a corner undone.
You, too tipsy and too focused on fiddling with your gloves, didn’t seem to hear him. The weight of the moment passed unnoticed by you, but Joel froze for half a beat, his hands stilling against your sleeve as the thought settled into his chest.
It didn’t feel strange to him, calling you that—my girl—because somehow, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
When you finally got home, Joel was all practicality. He unlocked the door with ease, nudging it open with his shoulder while keeping a steadying hand on your arm.
He turned briefly to shut the door, but when he looked back, you were gone. “Jesus Christ,” Joel muttered under his breath, his eyes scanning the room until he found you.
You’d somehow made it to the living room, sprawled out face down on the rug like you’d decided it was the most comfortable spot in the world. Your muffled hums filled the quiet space, a nonsensical melody that made Joel sigh deeply, dragging a hand down his face.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, the words barely audible as he disappeared into the kitchen. A few moments later, he returned with a glass of water, his footsteps deliberate and steady.
“Hey,” Joel said sharply, his voice cutting through your tuneless humming as he stopped a few feet away. His hand rested on his hip, his broad shoulders framed by the soft glow of the kitchen light. “What the hell’re you doin’? Get up.”
You turned your head sluggishly, your cheek still pressed against the rug. Heavy-lidded eyes met his, and for a moment, you just blinked at him, the alcohol dulling the sharper edges of his tone. Despite his words, the concern etched into his brow softened the bite.
Joel let out a sigh, muttering something under his breath as he knelt beside you, the floor creaking faintly under his weight. He held out a glass of water, his hand steady and deliberate. “Drink this."
You reached for the glass, your fingers brushing his as you took it. You drank the water in a few large gulps, the cool liquid grounding you slightly.
“Alright,” he said firmly after you were done drinking, “time for bed.” He extended a hand toward you, palm open and waiting.
“I’m not tired,” you mumbled into the rug, though your traitorous body betrayed you with a yawn that slipped out before you could stop it.
Joel arched an eyebrow, his lips twitching into the faintest shadow of a smirk. “Yeah?” he drawled, his tone thick with dry amusement. “Tell that to the yawn you just tried to swallow.”
His voice softened then, the edge fading as something gentler took its place. He crouched slightly, his hand still extended, his dark eyes locking onto yours. “C’mon. Up. Now.”
You groaned dramatically, burying your face in the rug for just a second longer, drawing out the moment like a child protesting bedtime. “Ugh,” you said, dragging the sound out with exaggerated flair. Finally, with a sigh heavy enough to shake the earth, you reached for his hand. “Fine.”
You reached up, slipping your hand into his as he helped you to your feet, “Atta girl,” he murmured.
Without thinking, without hesitation, your fingers instinctively intertwined with his. The movement was so natural, so effortless, that it didn’t register at first—not to you, and not to him. But then Joel’s gaze dropped to your joined hands, his breath hitching as his mouth opened slightly, the smallest flicker of surprise crossing his face.
Joel swallowed hard, his dark eyes flicking up to meet yours, unspoken emotions swirling there. He didn’t pull away—he didn’t dare. His hand stayed firmly in yours, his fingers curling around yours like letting go wasn’t an option he’d even considered.
You blinked up at him, your mind sluggish from whiskey and the creeping warmth of exhaustion, but his steady presence anchored you. “What?” you asked softly.
“Nothin’,” Joel muttered, his gaze fixed on your joined hands. His voice dipped lower, softer, like he hadn’t meant to say it aloud. “Just… don't usually hold hands.”
The quiet admission hit you like a ripple in still water, gentle yet profound. Your chest tightened, a wave of something achingly tender washing over you. “Oh,” you whispered, suddenly self-conscious. “I’m sorry.” You started to pull your hand away, the movement hesitant, reluctant.
But his grip tightened, firm but careful, like he was afraid to let go. “No,” Joel said quickly, his voice rough but urgent, his thumb brushing against your knuckles in the faintest, most deliberate motion. “Don’t.”
He didn’t look at you then—couldn’t—but the tension in his jaw and the quiet plea in his tone said everything he couldn’t.
“Alright,” he murmured after a beat, his voice softer now, gentler. “Let’s get you to bed.”
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
When you finally reached your room, Joel reached out with his free hand, twisting the doorknob and nudging the door open.
He led you to the edge of the bed, your hand still firmly clasped in his. You swayed slightly as you stopped, the whiskey and exhaustion making your balance unsteady, but Joel’s steady grip kept you upright.
He guided you gently to sit on the edge of the bed, his hand still wrapped around yours, steadying you. His grip lingered, his fingers flexing slightly as if testing the moment, like he didn’t want to break whatever fragile thread was holding you together.
“Time to let go, darlin’,” he murmured, his voice impossibly soft. Slowly, reluctantly, you let your hands part, the absence of his touch leaving a faint, lingering ache. You sank into the mattress with a soft sigh, your body sagging into the familiar comfort as Joel stood by your side, his presence steady and grounding.
His movements were careful as he reached for the blanket, pulling it up over you with the kind of gentleness that made your heart flutter even in your sleepy haze. He tucked it around your shoulders, his hand lingering for just a moment before he straightened.
“Go to bed,” Joel said softly, his voice gentler now, though still firm enough to leave no room for argument. As your eyes dipped shut, his hand moved to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, the touch so light it barely registered but sent a warmth blooming in your chest.
“You’ll feel better in the mornin’,” he added.
He turned toward the light switch, his hand halfway there when your voice cut through the quiet, soft and desperate. “Wait,” you said, the word tumbling out before you could stop it. “Don’t leave.”
Joel froze mid-step, his broad shoulders stiffening. He didn’t turn right away, but when he did, his expression was carefully guarded. “You need to sleep,” he said, his tone gruff, his walls snapping back into place. “No more games. Go to bed.”
“I will,” you promised quickly, your voice barely above a whisper but carrying an edge of pleading that you couldn’t hide. “I will, I swear. Just… stay. For a little while. Please.”
Joel’s jaw tightened, his eyes flicking toward the door as though he was considering making a quick exit. But then his shoulders sagged, and he ran a hand down his face, muttering something under his breath that you couldn’t catch. How could he possibly say no to you?
“Fine,” he said at last, the word carrying the weight of reluctant surrender. He moved toward the chair in the corner of your room, sinking into it heavily, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned back. “But only for a little while.”
“No,” you said suddenly, the word slipping out before you could stop it. You sat up in bed, the blanket pooling around your waist as you blinked at him.
Joel frowned, his brows furrowing as he turned to look at you. “What now?”
“Not there,” you murmured again, your voice softer now, hesitant but insistent as you patted the empty space on the bed beside you. “Here.”
Joel blinked, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. His brow furrowed deeply, his jaw tightening. “No,” he said firmly, shaking his head like he needed to convince himself as much as you. “Not happenin’.”
You groaned dramatically, flopping back against the pillows with an exasperated huff. “Jesus, Joel. Do I have to beg?”
“Don’t,” he snapped, his voice sharper than he intended, his knuckles whitening as his hands gripped the arms of the chair like it was the only thing tethering him to resolve.
His gaze flicked to the bed, to the empty spot you’d been patting, and you could see the war raging behind his eyes. It was written in the way his lips pressed into a thin line, in the way his chest rose and fell with controlled breaths. The push and pull of wanting and resisting.
“Please,” you whispered, the single word soft, breaking through his defenses like a crack splintering through glass. Your voice wavered, your gaze locking onto his. “I’ll sleep better if you’re close. That’s all.”
Joel’s eyes softened, the fight in them faltering for just a moment. He sighed deeply, his head tilting back like he was asking the ceiling for patience. His shoulders sagged slightly, and you could see the exact second he gave in. Slowly, deliberately, he stood, his steps heavy as he crossed the room.
He stopped at the edge of the bed, his gaze dropping to yours. For a long moment, he just stood there, torn between holding his ground and giving in completely. His jaw clenched, his hands flexing at his sides, before he let out another long sigh and sat down on the edge of the mattress.
The bed dipped under his weight, and you watched him. He sat stiffly, awkwardly, like being this close to you was something he hadn’t quite prepared for.
“Joel,” you murmured softly, almost unsure, almost hesitant. “Lay down. Please.”
He sighed again, his shoulders sagging slightly as if the sound of your voice alone had unraveled him. “Alright,” he muttered, the word rough but softer than before.
With slow, deliberate movements, he shifted onto the bed, laying down beside you. His posture was stiff, his head resting on his folded arm, as if he were trying to take up as little space as possible. “You happy now?” he asked, his tone gruff but not unkind, a quiet exasperation bleeding through.
You hummed softly in response, a sound of contentment as you scooted closer, the blankets rustling softly around you. Without thinking, you rested your cheek against his chest, the steady warmth of him seeping into you like sunlight through a window.
Joel froze, his breath catching for just a moment. Christ, he thought, glancing down at you. His arm hovered awkwardly for a beat before it came to rest at his side, his hand brushing against the curve of your back like he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“You comfy?” Joel asked finally, his deep voice breaking the quiet.
“Yeah,” you murmured, your smile soft as your eyes flicked up to meet his. “Are you?”
He hesitated for a second, his gaze lingering on you like he was trying to memorize something he couldn’t name. “Yeah,” he said eventually, though his voice was quieter now. He nodded faintly, his expression softening.
“Not gonna get much sleep with your eyes wide open, though,” he added, the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You laughed, the sound quiet and airy. Tucking the blanket higher over your shoulders, you tilted your head slightly to look at him. “You know, for someone so serious, you actually have jokes.”
Joel shrugged, the faint smirk fading into something softer, quieter, like he wasn’t sure what to do with the compliment. “There’s more to me than bein’ old,” he muttered.
“You’re not old,” you said instantly, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. You shifted onto your side to face him more fully, your expression earnest, a small crease forming between your brows. “Quit saying that.”
Joel huffed a quiet laugh through his nose, his gaze dipping away from yours like he was trying to brush off the warmth creeping into his chest. “It’s the truth,” he said simply, his voice low, though the rough edges softened when he glanced back at you. Got more years behind me than ahead,” Joel said quietly, almost offhand, his voice dipping low like it was just a fact of life.
The words hit you harder than he probably meant them to, sinking into your chest like a stone dropped into still water, rippling outward and unraveling the easy warmth of the moment.
You froze, staring at him as the ache that bloomed in your chest caught you off guard. Slowly, you pulled back just enough to see his face more clearly, your gaze searching his, the playful ease from before slipping away entirely.
“Don’t say that,” you murmured, your voice soft but laced with a quiet urgency that surprised even you. Your hand moved instinctively, coming to rest lightly on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm only deepened the ache.
Joel glanced down at you, his brow furrowing as he caught the way your brows knit together, your expression tightening. He hadn’t meant for it to land like that, hadn’t thought it would hit you so hard.
“I mean it, Joel,” you said, your voice trembling just enough to make him pause. “Don’t ever say that to me again.”
His lips parted, the words caught in his throat as he stared at you, unprepared for the way the emotion in your voice clawed at something deep inside him. The thought of him not being here—of losing him—was like a sharp blade pressing against the edges of your mind, and you couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t let him dismiss it so easily.
“Hey,” Joel murmured after a moment, his voice softer now, the sharp edges smoothed by the weight of your words. His hand lifted instinctively, covering yours where it rested over his heart, as if to anchor both of you.
Your hand fit perfectly beneath his, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palm a subconscious reminder that this was real—he was real. He was here. He was alive.
Joel’s thumb brushed over your knuckles, the movement slow, deliberate, pulling you back from wherever your mind had wandered. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he murmured, his tone low, filled with a quiet kind of tenderness he rarely let surface. His dark eyes flicked to yours, holding your gaze with an intensity that made your chest ache. “It’s just… the way things are.”
“That doesn’t make it okay,” you shot back, your voice barely above a whisper but laced with a quiet intensity.
Joel’s jaw tightened, his throat working as he swallowed hard. “Alright,” he murmured after a beat, his voice low and tender, stripped of the usual gruffness he used as armor.
“Shit, sweetheart,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gentle, grounding motion. “I’m sorry. Promise I won’t say it again—sorry, darlin’.”
You nodded, letting your head sink back against Joel’s chest, his hand moved without thought, slipping into your hair and threading through it gently.
“You gettin’ sleepy’?” Joel hummed, his voice low and soft, vibrating through his chest where your cheek rested.
“No,” you said quickly, your voice just a little too sharp, your body shifting slightly against him. You weren’t ready—not for the moment to end, not for him to leave, not for the fragile warmth that wrapped around the two of you to slip away.
Joel huffed a soft laugh through his nose, his hand pausing in your hair for a brief second before continuing its gentle rhythm. “Don’t sound so sure,” he muttered, his voice laced with quiet amusement.
You tilted your head up, your gaze finding his, and he glanced down at you, his brow furrowing slightly. “Quit staring at me,” he said, his tone gruff but devoid of any real bite.
“Can’t help it,” you murmured, your lips curving into a small, playful smile.
His brows knitted further as he looked at you, his lips parting like he was about to say something, but you beat him to it. “Pretty,” you whispered, the word barely audible, so soft it almost disappeared into the space between you.
Joel’s brows knitted further as he turned his full attention to you, his gaze heavy and intent. “You know I got a bad ear,” he said, his tone gruff but tinged with a faint trace of amusement. “Gotta speak up.”
You blinked up at him, lips parting slightly as hesitation gripped you for a brief moment. And then, as if the alcohol had burned through the last of your reservations, the words spilled out, clear and bold, leaving no room for misinterpretation. “I said… pretty. You’ve got pretty eyes and a pretty smile.”
Joel froze. You paused, your heart racing as a grin, small but sincere, tugged at your lips. “Handsome,” you added, softer but no less certain. “You’re handsome, Joel.”
Joel’s face dropped, his eyes widening slightly as he stared at you. His mouth opened, as if to respond, but no words came out. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his fingers flexing against your hand like he needed something—anything—to ground himself.
Joel finally shook his head, a sharp exhale escaping him as he muttered, “You’re drunk.” The words came out fast, like a reflex, a shield he threw up to deflect the blow before it could land. But his voice betrayed him, the rough edges fraying with a faint tremor that he couldn’t quite hide.
You didn’t flinch. Instead, you leaned in just slightly, your gaze steady and unwavering. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true,” you murmured, your voice soft but resolute.
Before he could deflect again, you broke the silence, your tone softer now but still certain. “Joel, I have a question.”
Joel sighed, dragging a hand down his face like he was trying to gather what little patience he had left. “What happened to sleepin’?”
“Joel…” you began, your voice quiet, fragile. “Why didn’t you kiss me? At Tommy’s birthday.”
The air shifted instantly, heavy and stifling, as if the room itself had stopped to listen. Joel froze, his body going completely still. The hand that had been absently stroking your hair stopped, his fingers hovering like they didn’t know where to go.
His other hand, which had been resting over yours on his chest, slowly withdrew, falling to his side as though retreating from the weight of your question.
The teasing light in his eyes vanished, replaced by something darker, something harder to read. His jaw tightened, the muscle ticking as he stared at the ceiling, his gaze fixed like he might find the answer buried in the walls.
He didn’t say anything, but the silence spoke volumes. It felt like a door that had been cracked open was now slamming shut, and you weren’t sure whether to step forward or back away.
“I—” he started, but his voice caught, faltering before he could finish. Joel wasn’t expecting this. The weight of your words hung in the air between you, pressing down on him like a physical force.
He ran a hand over his face, dragging his fingers through his beard, his shoulders stiffening as though he was bracing himself for a blow that hadn’t yet come.
“It’s okay,” you said, though the words felt like they were breaking you apart from the inside. “If you don’t… if you don’t find me pretty, or if you think I’m annoying, or if you just didn’t want to. I just…” You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat making it harder to breathe. “I just need to know why.”
Joel moved instantly, sitting up straighter as his arm pulled away from you. His head snapped toward you at that, his eyes locking onto yours with a sharpness that stole your breath.
They were brimming with something raw, something unspoken and fierce. “Don’t,” he said, his voice rough and firm, the single word cutting through the space between you like a knife.
Your brows furrowed, confusion and hurt twisting in your chest, the ache blooming into something unbearable. “Don’t what?” you asked, your voice softer now as you sat up, mirroring him, the distance between you suddenly feeling vast despite your closeness.
Joel’s fists flexed at his sides, his knuckles white as the tension in his body radiated off him in waves. His jaw tightened, and his gaze dropped for the briefest second before snapping back to yours. “Don’t put words in my mouth,” he said, his voice low and strained, trembling with the effort of holding something back. The look in his eyes was fleeting but sharp—like he was fighting himself, fighting you, fighting the weight of the moment.
“Shit,” Joel muttered, shaking his head as if trying to wrestle with the storm in his own mind. “Why’re you askin’ this now?” he murmured, his tone rough, defensive, but there was something else beneath it—something raw, like the weight of the question was almost too much to bear.
“Because I need to stop thinking about it all the time,” you said, your voice trembling as the words tumbled out, unguarded and vulnerable. “I need to stop replaying it in my head.” You hesitated, your breath hitching as you fought to steady yourself, but the truth burned too hot to hold back. “You said, ‘Not like this,’ and I—” The words broke off, catching in your throat as the ache you’d carried since that night threatened to overwhelm you.
Your eyes searched his face, desperate for something—anything—that might explain the way his words had stayed with you, carved into your heart like a scar. But Joel wouldn’t look at you. His gaze stayed fixed on some indeterminate point, his jaw tightening as if he were bracing himself for the blow he’d already dealt.
“What did that mean, Joel?” you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of longing and hurt.
His head shook, sharp and almost violent, like he was physically trying to shake the question away, to shove it into some dark corner where he wouldn’t have to deal with it. “You’re drunk,” he muttered, the words rough and uneven, cracking under the weight of his own defenses.
“I’m drunk, but I’m not stupid,” you fired back, the frustration slipping into your tone, making it wobble. “I’m asking you what you meant.”
Joel’s jaw clenched, his muscles twitching under the strain as his hand raked through his hair, his exhale shaky and unsteady.
“What do you think I meant?” he said finally, his voice low and hoarse.
“I don’t fucking know, Joel,” you said, your voice rising as your words cracked under the pressure. “That’s why I’m asking. You confuse the hell out of me.”
His hand flexed against his knee, restless and agitated, but his face remained locked in that tight, unreadable mask he wore when the stakes felt too high.
“I wanted you to kiss me,” you said, the confession tumbling out in a whisper that wavered on the edge of breaking. “I wanted you to kiss me so badly that night.”
Joel froze, his whole body going rigid as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Slowly, painfully, his eyes lifted to meet yours, and what you saw in them made your heart twist painfully. It was like he was searching for something—desperately, almost frantically—as though hoping to find some small lie buried deep in your gaze. Because if you were lying, if this wasn’t real, it would destroy him.
“You don’t know what you’re sayin’,” he said, his head shaking almost imperceptibly.
“Did you think,” you began, your voice softer now, quieter but no less resolute as your hand reached for his arm, resting lightly against the warmth of his sleeve, “maybe I got this drunk because it’s the only way I can tell the truth?”
Joel’s eyes followed your hand, lingering where it rested against him like he couldn’t decide whether to pull away or hold on. His jaw tightened, and he shook his head slightly, the motion almost imperceptible. “That ain’t somethin’ you’re gonna wanna say in the mornin’,” he said, his voice rough and uneven, frayed at the edges like he was already bracing for the fallout.
Why? The thought clawed at your chest. Why can’t he believe me? Why won’t he let himself accept that he’s worth loving? The ache swelled, raw and heavy, pressing against every unspoken word between you.
“But it’s true,” you countered softly, your tone steady, carrying none of the sharpness his did—only quiet, unyielding conviction. “Even if I don’t say it tomorrow, it’s still true tonight.”
“Stop,” Joel said, his voice firmer this time, but there was something in it—a thread of desperation, raw and unguarded. It wasn’t an order. It was a plea. “You don’t mean it. You’re just—”
“I do, Joel.” You interrupted him, your voice trembling with the effort to keep steady. Your hand tightened slightly on his arm, grounding both of you in the moment. “Look at me.” The words fell with quiet insistence, steady despite the tremor in your chest. “I mean it, Joel. I’ve always meant it.”
His breathing faltered, his eyes flickering toward yours like he wanted to believe you but didn’t know how. The silence was unbearable, and before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out, each one carrying a piece of the ache you’d held back for too long. “Fuck, Joel, I care about you,” you said, your voice trembling but resolute. “I more than care about you. I love—”
“Don’t.” The word came sharp and sudden, cutting you off like a knife. Joel’s voice was hoarse, rough, like gravel scraping against stone. It hit the space between you with the force of a blow, making your breath hitch.
His gaze darted to you, his dark eyes stormy with something raw and pained, before he looked away again, like he couldn’t bear to meet your eyes. “Don’t say it. Because you don’t mean it.”
The words crushed something in your chest, the weight of his denial suffocating. “Joel—” you began, but he shook his head again, his hand lifting to run through his hair, his movements jerky, restless, like he was trying to hold himself together.
“You don’t mean it,” he repeated, quieter this time, his voice barely more than a rasp. “You can’t. Not about me.” His shoulders sagged slightly, and for the first time, you saw it—the cracks in the armor he always wore, the fear in his eyes that no amount of gruffness could hide. “Don’t do this. Not for me.”
Your breath caught, your chest tightening as if a fist had wrapped around it, squeezing until it was hard to breathe. The tears welled in your eyes, hot and stinging, but they didn’t fall.
Your mouth parted, a soundless gasp escaping as your mind reeled. You silly girl, the thought screamed. He doesn’t feel the same. He’s letting you down easy, and you’ve ruined everything. The silence between you stretched, suffocating, the weight of it pressing against your chest until you thought it might break you.
Then, slowly, Joel stood. His shoulders sagged, his head dipping low as though the act of leaving was as heavy as the words left unsaid. His voice, when it came, was quiet—so quiet it was almost a whisper, but it carried the finality of a closing door.
“I’m leavin’. I’ll lock up.”
You stared at him, frozen, the world tilting beneath you as his words settled in. He didn’t look back. He didn’t stop. And as the sound of his footsteps faded, the tears finally spilled over, carving silent paths down your cheeks.
❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎❅.⊹₊ ⋆❆‧⋆☃︎
yall do i have an angst kink?!
tag list xx
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@jethrojessie @eddiemunsonsbedroom @flowerydindjarin @anoverwhelmingdin @oscarpiasstri81 @tldix @grumpygrumperton
@dendulinka6 @agnus04 @tigerlillyyy @vampiredoggies-blog @julwar67 @kateg88 @martuxduckling @guessitwillallworkout @anoverwhelmingdin @thottiewinemom @keepspassinmeby @disco-barbiexx @emisprocrastinating @cuteanimalmama @moulinrougcs @lottieellz101 @laliceee @grumpygrumperton @meet-me-backstage @spacegirl-3 @nixpat-blog @martuxduckling
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ditzydoe444 · 1 day ago
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Bunny reader with Dick!? I think it would be so cute, reader being the sweetest thing gifted to Dick, and dick treating them like they wished to be !!
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MDNI 18+
soft! dick grayson x bunny! reader
smutty
soft! dick x bunny!reader
dick would spoil you rotten. whatever you want, you will get, anything you touched at the store or briefly mentioned somehow will always end up in your hands. you were just the sweetest thing to ever appear in his life, how could he not spoil you? the way your eyes would light up, and how you jumped like a small bunny when you got your gifts was like heaven for him. he would pay for all your needs, hair appointments, clothes, nails, etc. he knew you cared about your looks, how you always wanted to have the perfect appearance, and how could he refrain you from doing that? because as a result, he got a cute little doll that was all pampered.
soft! dick x bunny!reader
dick would be so gentle and soft with you, always giving you forehead kisses just because he loves the way a faint dust of pink would appear on your cheeks, and how your nose will do the cutest scrunch. he would always be touching you, small gentle affectionate touches. these would include adjusting stray parts of your hair, straightening your tiny dresses, or gently caressing your shoulder. he knew you loved physical touch, and god he loved touching you, not just in the passionate intimate moments, but the small innocent ones. there was just something about you that made it impossible for him to keep his hands off you. whenever you would cook, he would have his arms around your waist, and you fitting snuggly against his broad chest whilst he gave you soft kisses on your shoulders.
soft! dick x bunny!reader
when going out drinking with his friends he would always check in on you, making sure you were doing ok. his hands were never far from your body, his strong arms wrapped around your waist. he would never make you stay longer than needed and was always ready to leave when you wanted. he would often tease you with how easily you got tipsy, he couldn’t resist poking your small red cheeks of yours. “don’t tell me you are already drunk now, bun,” dick teases. there was something about you being tipsy that was so endearing, the way you would shake your head insisting you weren’t drunk and how you would cling to him like a lost puppy when walking back to his truck.
soft! dick x bunny!reader
when going on dates he would go all out, he would always make the moments intimate and special with just the two of you. he would bring you your favourite bouquet of flowers, and take you to a small intimate restaurant. his hand would always gently rub the back of yours from across the table, and would listen to whatever you were rambling about. even though you had a habit of talking about literally everything, he would always pay attention, asking questions and making small comments to show that he cared.
soft! dick x bunny!reader
in bed he treated you like a princess, worshipping every inch of your body. he would give you soft kisses, whispering praises and how well you were doing taking him all in. “you’re doing great bun, just a few more inches yeah?” he made sure you were always the one coming first, giving you a minimum of two orgasms before letting himself come.
when you would ride him, he would hold on to your hips, whilst thrusting himself upwards to reduce your workload. “i’ve got you bun,” he reassured gently, he knew it wasn’t exactly your favourite position, but you knew that he loved watching you bounce on his cock. “you’re like my own little bunny,” he commented, the way you bounced on his cock eagerly was all too much, and how you would let out the most sinful moans were enough to make him fill your tight little cunt up.
but you giving him blowjobs was his favourite thing on the whole planet. the way you eagerly took him in your wet mouth whilst being on your knees staring at him through your lashes was too much. the way your hands couldn’t even encircle his whole cock made his mind go all fuzzy. he told himself to be gentle, to refrain from acting on his own desires, but god it took every ounce of self-control to not use your mouth as a fleshlight. usually, he would come in your mouth, gently fucking it to see his cum and your saliva mix and dribble down your chin. but the moment you suggested on coming in your face? god he nearly self-imploded. seeing how his cum coated your face and lashes was a goddamn sight, how you would give him the cheesiest smile with your eyes shut, due to his cum gluing your lashes down.
and of course he would reward you by eating you out, making you his favourite dessert.
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starlost-maniac · 3 days ago
Text
My Significant Bother - Ch 1
Warnings/genre: SMUT, piv, unprotected sex (don't do it), mxf, mxm, some angst if you squint, unrequited love(?), Mean Jisung (kinda?) I probably missed some (I'll eventually remember all the tags -_-)
Pairing: MinSung x fem!reader
dividers made by @cafekitsune
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"Tell me again why I'm here." You say in your boyfriend's ear before leaning back, giving him a look, drink in hand.
"Because it's my best friend's birthday, you promised me you'd go out more and you love me." He smiles at you, talking over the music blaring in the club. "Plus.." He leans back a bit more, looking you over. "You look so damn gorgeous." You smile and roll your eyes.
"I would hope I do, Minho. You picked the dress out." You take a sip of your drink. He chuckles, looking you over again. The dress was black with mint accents, the top was strapless and had a deep v cut, showing off plenty of cleavage. The dress stopped at your ankles, hugging the curves of your chest, waist and hips perfectly before becoming more flowy from mid thigh.
"You always do, kitten." He places his hands on your hips, pulling you close. He leans down to kiss you. Just as his lips land on yours, you hear the DJ announce over the music, "The birthday boy is here!"
You groan into Minho's mouth and pull away, rolling your eyes as Jisung strolls into the club. He greets people along the way to you and Minho. You take another sip of your drink and turn around in Minho's arms, leaning back against him. He leans forward some, wrapping his arms around your waist just under your breasts.
"Please try to be civil, kitten. I know you don't like him, but just for today?" He whispers in your ear before kissing your cheek. You groan out before letting out a quiet 'fine'. Minho smiles. "Good kitten." He stands up straight and holds you close.
When Jisung gets to you and Minho, he glares at you and groans. "Hyung, why did you invite this…" He gestures to you without breaking eye contact with your boyfriend.
"Jisung, I've asked her to be civil for your birthday. Can't you be nice today?" He gives you a gentle squeeze. Jisung huffs before looking at you. He looks you over, staring at your chest for longer than he needed before looking back into your eyes.
"Thanks for coming…I guess." He crosses his arms.
"And, Jisung?" You feel Minho chuckle against your back.
"And..you look very…not ugly today." Jisung huffs. You roll your eyes and sip your drink again.
"So how's your birthday so far man?" Minho asks, gently rubbing your ribs with his fingers.
"Good, great honestly. Got a new job at an office. Better pay and shorter commute too." Jisung says, waving the bartender down. You end up blocking out the rest of what he says.
You look out over the crowd, slowly sipping on your drink. You see a group of your girl friends from school come inside. They were part of your friend circle from school, that—unfortunately—Jisung was part of too. You and Jisung were not friends. You were the farthest thing from friends. He always picked on you throughout school, but stopped most of the bullying when Minho came into the picture. Minho was a new transfer and he joined your clique pretty quick. He got really close to both you and Jisung. Minho ended up asking you to your senior prom and asked you to be his girlfriend the same night. You've been dating since then.
You turn around in Minho's arms and step up on your toes to reach Minho's ear. "I see some girls from school. I'm going to say hi and mingle, maybe dance some."
"Ok, baby. Just be careful out there." He says back. "Don't want some random guy thinking he can have a chance with you. Especially since the girls are almost on full display." He chuckles, gently grazing his hands over your breasts, his fingers playfully following the v cut.
"I know, love. Only for you." You wink at him before kissing his cheek. You walk off to join your friends, their cheers can just be heard over the music. Minho chuckles and sits on one of the stools at the bar, watching you.
"Honestly, hyung, you could do so much better than her. There's a club full of hot girls here that would love to be under you. Probably a few dudes too." He laughs out. He leans back against the bar counter next to Minho.
"Nah. No way, Ji. She's honestly it. I've been with her for 7 years. I can't give her up now." He smiles, watching you dance with your friends. His gaze shifts over to Jisung, a mischievous smirk on his face. "Why do you say that, though? You jealous?" He chuckles.
"What? Hyung, ew. No. First off, she's definitely not my type. Second, she's your girlfriend." He gives Minho a look. "Plus, I may have slept around in college, but I never slept with a taken person…on purpose." He takes a sip of his drink, gaze shifting back to the crowd before landing on you.
"Jisung. I've heard you talk in your sleep. You've said her name so many times over the years." Minho laughs. Jisung rolls his eyes.
"Like you haven't dreamt of your enemies before." He turns, calling the bartender over again for a few shots.
"Oh I have. I definitely have, but not like that, and I don't moan their name with a full hard-on in my sleep." Minho wiggles his eyebrows at his best friend. Jisung just makes a disgusted face. Minho laughs and pats his friend on the back before shifting his gaze back to you. "Honestly though, Ji. I wouldn't mind it. I trust and love you both. You're both the most important people in my life." Minho shrugs. "I'd love it if you both got closer and stopped fighting so much."
You look over at Minho and wave, dancing with your friends. Your girl friends wave to him too. He chuckles and waves back before blowing you a kiss. He couldn't believe how incredibly lucky he felt to have you in his life.
"I love you, too, hyung. You're really important to me, too." Jisung turns around, facing the crowd again. He leans back against the bar and sips on a drink. It's quite between the two for a few moments before Jisung's eyebrows scrunch together and he slowly looks at Minho. "Wait. Did you imply that you wouldn't mind if Y/n and I fucked?"
"Yeah?" The older laughs. "You and I fucked a few times in high school before Y/n and I got together, too. She knows and it didn't really bother her. Maybe if you two fucked, it'll get some of that pent up anger you two have out." Minho shrugs, chuckling. Jisung squints at his hyung. "Plus, I'm sure it'd be pretty hot. Watching my girlfriend get railed by my best friend."
"Right…let's just enjoy the party. It's only a few more hours until my birthday is over." Jisung downs a shot quickly. "I'm going to go find someone to dance with." He goes out into the crowd. Minho watches and laughs.
You and your girl friends come up not long after, you immediately go into Minho's open arms. The girls and Minho catch up for a bit. Jisung comes back after a while. He smiles at the girls and thanks them for coming to his birthday party. They hugged him and kissed his cheek before going back onto the dance floor.
You all enjoy the party for a few more hours before you and Minho are ready to head home. Jisung does one more round of shots with some people before he leaves with you and Minho. Jisung gets in the back seat and lays down, wasted. You got in the passenger seat as you've had a few drinks and were definitely tipsy. Minho buckles you in and kisses your cheek. Once he gets in and buckles his belt, he drives to the house that he and Jisung own. Minho asked you to move in prior, but you declined, saying soon.
Minho drives carefully, trying to not make you or Jisung sick in the car. Parking the car, he got out and went to your side, opening the door for you. You smile at him and get out.
"Are you ok to walk, kitten?" He holds your hand.
"I should be ok. I'll wait for you in the bedroom." He nods and kisses your cheek softly. He opens the back door of the car and carefully gets Jisung out as you walk inside. After pulling Jisung out of the car, he carefully closes the door with his foot and goes inside. He brings Jisung to his room and carefully sets him on the bed. He takes the younger boy's shoes, shirt and pants off, rolling his eyes when he finds out Jisung wasn't wearing boxers. He dresses the boy in a pair of pajama pants and covers him with his blanket before leaving to go to his own room.
Minho finds you sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling on your phone. He smiles and walks over to you, kneeling in front of you. You set your phone down and smile back at him. He slowly slides his hands up your left leg and under your dress, gently grabbing the thigh high stockings you wore. He slowly starts to slide it down your leg, not breaking eye contact with you. You shiver when his fingers gently touch your skin. He slips the stocking off before repeating with your right leg.
Standing up, he holds his hand out to you, helping you stand up. Once you stand, he turns you around and unzips your dress for you.
"So gorgeous in this dress.." He slips it off your body, letting it fall to the ground, leaving you in just your panties. "So gorgeous without." He leans down as he wraps his arms around you, softly kissing your neck. "How did I get so lucky with you, kitten? All those other guys vying for your attention.." he breaths against your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "And I'm the one that won your heart over." He kisses up your neck to just under your ear, the tip of his nose ghosting your skin.
"You made me feel safe.." you breathe out, eyes closing. One of Minho's hands moves up to gently cup your breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. His other hand sliding down to the hem of your panties.
"Mm..I'll always keep you safe." He kisses behind your ear. "Let's go shower, my love." He slips his fingers into your panties, laying his hand flat against your belly before slipping his fingers back out, letting you go completely, making you whine softly at the loss of contact. You follow him out of his room and into the bathroom as he strips himself of his clothes on the way, starting the shower when he enters the bathroom. You slip your panties off, dropping them on the bathroom floor.
Stepping behind him as he was checking the water temperature, you wrap your arms around him, putting your hands on his pecs. You press your body right against him, your breasts squished against his back. He chuckles when you playfully squeeze his pecs a few times. He reaches down behind himself, playfully reaching for your core. You giggle and back away some.
"Mm, kitten wants to be playful it seems." He turns around and quickly grabs you, pulling you right against him. Wrapping his arms around you, he picks you up and wraps your legs around his waist. You wrap your arms loosely around his neck and he steps into the shower. He grins and steps under the water, getting you wet first.
"Kitten is wet in more than one place now." He chuckles and you stick your tongue out at him. "Don't stick that tongue out at me, kitten, unless you plan on using it." He smirks at you. You smile and lean down, slotting your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth. He groans softly and you feel his dick twitch under you. He gently grips your ass a little as you make out. He gently readjusts you so he can slide his cock inside you, making you moan in his mouth. He pulls away with a smirk.
"Such a good kitten, taking me so well." He presses your back against the wall, bottoming out in you. "Who's good kitten are you, baby?"
"Ahh..yours..yours Minho. Only yours." You moan, feeling every inch of him that slips in you, filling you up.
"Good girl." You clench around him at the praise. He chuckles and leans down, attaching his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking marks onto your skin. He slowly starts to fuck up into you, gripping your ass. You moan out, tilting your head for him. Your nails gently run along his skin, the stream of water hitting his back making his skin slick.
He chuckles against your neck as he thrusts hard into you, making you gasp and moan. He kisses along your skin, leaving occasional marks. He leaves enough with the knowledge you'll have to cover them up come Monday. He grins as he picks up his pace, thrusting into you hard and fast. He coos at you when you moan and whimper. He can feel you getting close as you clench around him more.
"You gonna cum for me, kitten? Gonna be a good girl and cum around my hard cock?" He whispers in your ear, making you shiver despite being in a hot shower.
"Yes..yes. Wanna cum…" You arch your back, pressing your breasts against him. He grinds deep into you and you moan his name, cunt clenching around him hard as you cum. Minho latches onto your neck again and bites and kisses as he fucks you through your high before cumming deep into you.
"Good girl. Such a good kitten." He coos, peppering your face with kisses as you come down from your high, making you let out a breathy giggle. He helps you stand up, sliding out of you. "Let's get you cleaned up and head to bed. How's that sound baby?" He steps back under the stream, pulling you with him. You nod, getting sleepy. Minho smiles and carefully washes you and himself. He turns the water off and steps out of the cubicle. He wraps a towel around his waist and grabs a towel for you, drying you off.
Once you're back in his bedroom, he tosses on a pair of shorts to sleep in and grabs you a silky set of pajamas to sleep in, knowing they're one of your favorites. You lay in bed and cuddle up to him.
"Thank you for coming to Jisung's birthday party, kitten." He kisses your head.
"Of course, baby. I went for you, though." You cuddle as close to him as possible.
"I know, but still. Thank you." He rubs your back. "I do still hope that you two can be more friendly towards each other."
"Mm." You yawn, sleep finally taking you over. Minho smiles softly and kisses your head again. A few minutes pass and he hears a quiet knock on his bedroom door. He looks over and sees Jisung peeking his head through the door. Minho raises an eyebrow at him as the younger boy walks in and quietly shuts the door. He walks over to Minho's side of the bed and climbs in behind him.
"Sorry hyung. My room is cold and you're warm." Jisung said. He still sounded drunk, but could just be sleepy too. Minho laughs softly, trying not to wake you.
"You're fine. Just don't wake kitten." He whispers. Jisung nods a little, moving close to Minho. Minho chuckles a little as Jisung's hard on was pressed right against him. He sometimes forgets that his friend gets really horny when drunk. Jisung lays his head against Minho's back, the older man settles in, holding you close before he falls asleep himself.
——
Minho wakes up early the next morning, you and Jisung are still fast asleep in his bed. He carefully gets up, making sure not to jostle either of you, before leaving his room to use the bathroom then heading to the kitchen to make breakfast.
You turn over in your sleep, onto your side, facing away from the boy in Minho's bed. Jisung moves in his sleep as well, looking for Minho's warmth. He moves across the bed, finding you. He wraps his arm around you, thinking that you were his friend. You both sleep a little longer until Jisung wakes up, pressed right against you. He inhales deeply, smelling Minho's shampoo on you.
Jisung stretches and cuddles into you a bit more, thinking that you were Minho. He stays like that for a bit before he realizes that he's in Minho's bed, with you and not Minho, morning wood present, pressed against your ass. He scrambles out of the bed and lands on the floor with a thud, waking you up. You sit up and look around before you see him on the floor, hair a mess. You roll your eyes before glaring at him.
"What are you doing in here, Jisung? Minho put you in your bed last night." You cross your arms under your chest.
"I got cold and Minho-hyung usually lets me sleep in his bed when I'm cold." He snaps back, trying to hide his obvious morning wood. You roll your eyes again and get up out of bed. You leave the bedroom and head to the kitchen where you hear your boyfriend cooking. You walk up to Minho at the stove. You wrap your arms around his waist and lay your head on his back.
"Good morning, baby. Did you let Jisung sleep in bed with us last night?" You ask, interlocking your fingers around him.
"Mhmm. He said he was cold so he slept behind me. He usually does it when you aren't here, but he would have still been a little drunk." Minho says, flipping a pancake.
"Mm." You stay like that for a moment before letting go to get a drink. Jisung walks out when you get to the fridge, hair no longer a mess. He was still shirtless, his skin flawless, v-line on full display as he wore his sleep pants low.
"You're staring, Y/n." Jisung says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look away from him and grab your juice from the fridge.
"No I wasn't." You pour yourself a cup, putting the container back in the fridge.
"Sure you weren't. I didn't see it with my own two eyes." He says dryly, rolling his eyes. "I know I'm hot, but don't stare." You turn your head to glare at him, taking a sip of your drink before walking back to Minho. Your boyfriend plates up some pancakes and looks at you, a soft smile on his face.
"Can you bring this to the table, kitten?" He holds up a plate full of pancakes. You nod and take it from him. You bring it to the table, Jisung immediately taking one and biting half of it, his cheeks puffing up like a squirrel. You roll your eyes, going back to stand with Minho.
"Oh, baby." You look up at him, he lets out a soft 'hmm?'. "You remember my friend, Felix? You met him at last year's Christmas party. It's his birthday today."
"I remember. I sent him a gift basket of baking recipes and the like last week as an early gift. We talked a lot during that party." Minho looks at you and smiles. He leans down and pecks your lips. Jisung makes a gagging sound and Minho just chuckles.
"Don't be jealous, Jisung. I know kitten is beautiful, but no reason to be jealous." Minho winks at his friend. Jisung makes another gagging sound. "Just think about what we talked about last night, if you remember what I said." He laughs before plating up more food, taking it to the table. Jisung shakes his head and sits at the table and eats with you and Minho.
——
The following Monday, you were at work. You worked at a company that helped promote idols, whether it was making images or trailers/videos, or anything that they needed, your company did it all. You worked with Felix, Hyunjin and Changbin out of a closed off office on your floor. You were the team leader for this specific section, but still answered to Chan, the manager of the floor. Chan had called your team into the meeting room for a quick meeting.
"Y/n, Felix, Changbin, Hyunjin. I called you in to let you know that we have a new employee, and I'm assigning him to your team." He sits back in his seat. "You're the best team I have here, so I know you'll do great with a new body on hand." You nod at him. He turns towards the door and waves his hand, indicating for the new hire to come in.
You turn in your seat, smile on your face as you're excited to see who your new coworker was, just for the smile to fade as soon as you see Jisung walk in. He steps inside and freezes upon seeing you. He swallows and steps up to the table that you are all sat at.
"This is our new employee, Han Jisung. Jisung, this is Y/n, our team leader of the group you'll be working for, Changbin, Hyunjin and Felix." Chan says, indicating to each of the boys as he stands from his seat. "Y/n will show you to your desk, and will give you the rundown of how we do things, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask her." Chan smiles and leaves the meeting room. You sat there, still shocked. The other three members of your team all get up to greet their new member. Jisung greets them back, trying to hide his shock.
You stand up and look at Jisung. "Follow me, Jisung. I'll show you around the office." You leave the meeting room, Jisung follows behind not long after. You showed him some of the other offices on your floor, all managed by Chan, where the bathrooms were and where the break room was. You showed him where Chan's office was, his secretary and assistant's desks outside his office. You introduce Seungmin and Jeongin to Jisung before taking him back to your office where your team had already come back to.
"This is where you'll be sitting." You point to a desk at the end of the layout, opposite of where you sit. There were a few other empty desks closer to you, but you didn't really want him near you.
"Understood." He was trying to be professional in front of the others. By the time he settled in, it was time for lunch. You usually went to lunch with your team, so being cordial, you offered to take Jisung out. He looked at you, suspiciously, making you roll your eyes.
"I usually go to lunch with my team. You don't have to go." You stand up and grab your jacket.
"She really does, Jisung. She enjoys spending time with the team, even if she doesn't show it." Felix says, teasing you. You smile and roll your eyes again.
"If you're coming, then come. If not, then don't." You walk out of the office behind the other boys. Jisung hesitates for a moment before grabbing his coat and following behind you. It was Felix's turn to decide, and he wanted tteokbokki. You follow Felix to a table, sitting next to him with Changbin on your other side, Hyunjin across from Felix and Jisung across from you. You all place your order and sit quietly. Jisung chances a glance at you and sees your eyes flick to him. He makes a disgusted face and looks away from you.
Jisung chances a few more glances at you throughout lunch. He genuinely had thought about what Minho had said on his birthday. He did think that you were pretty, beautiful even. But you two had been fighting since you were kids. He honestly didn't think there would even be a chance for friendship given your history. When the food came, you all ate, the team started a conversation with Jisung. As your lunch hour came to a close, you and your team got up, you paying for their food, Jisung's included. He was honestly surprised.
You all walk back to the office, Jisung trailing behind you, the other three walking ahead of you. Jisung stares at you a few times on the walk back.
"I feel you staring, Jisung. Cut it out." You say without turning around.
"I'm not staring." He shifts his gaze from you. "Thank you for lunch, though." He says quietly. You simply nod. Going back up to your floor, you all go back to your desks, Jisung going to his before getting up to go to you. He needed help with his login as Chan hadn't given it to him, but had it on your desk. You get up and go around to his desk. You help him log in and show him how to use the programs he needs to use. That continues until the end of the work day.
"Can I ride home with you and Minho, Y/n? I took a cab here as I didn't know you worked here." He was quiet, not wanting to ask you for things.
"Ask Minho. He'll be here any minute." You look up from your phone, looking out for your boyfriend's car. Once he pulls up, you smile and get in the passenger seat. Jisung leans down so he can see Minho.
"Hyung, can I ride home with you and Y/n? I don't want to call another cab." He chuckles softly.
"Yeah, that's fine. Hop in." Minho says. He leans over and kisses your cheek as Jisung climbs in the back seat. The younger one makes a disgusted face again when Minho kisses your cheek. Minho laughs when he sees the face his friend makes. "What do you guys want for dinner?"
——
You were in your bathroom, taking off your makeup while Minho ordered pizza. Once your makeup was off, you changed out of your work outfit and into more comfortable clothes. One of Minho's oversized shirts that hung off your shoulder, and a pair of your sleep shorts, hidden just underneath Minho's shirt. You step out into the common area and Jisung covers his eyes from where he sits on the couch.
"Please put some pants on, Y/n." He peeks through his fingers.
"I am." You lift the hem of the shirt up to show off the shorts.
"Oh." Jisung lowers his hands. Minho walks in from the kitchen with three cups. You take one from him and thank him, smiling at him.
"I'm going to hop in the shower while we wait for the food to be delivered. It's already paid for, so when it gets here, just give him the tip money on the table by the door." Your boyfriend says. He kisses you softly after setting the other cups down.
"Will do. Thank you, baby." You kiss him back and he walks off to go shower. Not long after the water starts, there's a knock at the front door. You answer it and it's the delivery driver. You take the pizza and hand him the tip money. You notice him looking you over.
"What's a pretty little thing like you doing home alone like this?" He grins, leaning against the door frame.
"I'm not alone." You say, holding the pizza boxes. "I'm here with my boyfriend."
"I don't see anyone inside. So it looks like you're alone." He chuckles, trying to step inside. "And I don't think the old 'I have a boyfriend' card is going to work." You take a step back as he keeps trying to come inside.
"Ji..?" You call out, getting nervous. The delivery guy starts to reach for your arm, saying something that you weren't listening to. "Jisung?" You say calling louder.
"What?" He says coming around the corner to see you. He sees what's happening. "What's wrong man? Did my girlfriend forget to give you the tip?" He steps over to you, taking the pizza and setting it on the table by the door. He drapes his arm over your shoulder. The delivery guy looks between you and Jisung.
"This guy isn't your boyfriend." He scoffs.
"No, I am. Now if you'd kindly leave, I won't press charges for trespassing." Jisung watches him.
"Prove it then." This guy is getting ballsy. Jisung shrugs and turns you so you're facing him. He gives you a look that says 'trust me'. You didn't trust him, and really didn't want to, but you nod slightly and Jisung leans down, slotting his lips with yours. Your first thought was that you wanted to pull away or push him away, that kissing him would've been horrible. But it wasn't. His lips were nice and soft. He slowly licks your lips, asking for entrance. He wanted to be as convincing as possible to get the guy to leave.
You bring one hand up to his cheek as you open your mouth. He slips his tongue inside your mouth, one of his hands going to the back of your head, having you tilt your head back a bit to deepen the kiss. He tasted of cherries. You faintly hear the guy scoff and what sounded like the door closing. Jisung stepped closer to you, pulling you close to him at the same time as he continued to kiss you.
He gently bites your lower lip and you groan softly. He releases your lip and captures you in a kiss once more, his fingers threading into your hair, a soft moan slips from him into your mouth. You hear someone clear their throat off to the side of you and that's when Jising pulls away, his lips kiss bruised. You imagine yours don't look any better. Jisung wipes his lips on the back of his hand, putting on a disgusted look again. You turn your head and see Minho standing there just in a towel.
"Minho.."
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ilysungho · 3 days ago
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you did THE BEST writing the sub leehan drabble and i can't stop thinking about how ihan would be if he suddenly found out he had mommy kink...
as if you were touching him after he has been needing you all afternoon since he couldn't see you and as a result of the pleasure, out of nowhere he is calling you mommy and whining like a baby pleading for more
I think that even he would be surprised by what he says but he couldn't stop begging OH GOD IT DRIVES ME CRAZY RNNN I NEED IT
If you can do something like that I would really appreciate it 🥲🥲
pd: I really love your work, you are one of my favorite writers ily😭😭♡
a/n: you’re so sweet thank you so much for loving my work, it makes me so happy to hear that 🥹 honestly i’ve been warming up to mommy kinks (just jaehyun and taesan so far) so i tried… also this might've turned out to be way longer than intended so enjoy cutie 💗 wc: 1k contains: sub!leehan x dom!reader, implied switch!leehan, mommy kink leehan, marking, handjob, riding, penetration (p in v), unprotected sex (don't!), creampie, lowercase intended
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almost a month passed by without seeing your boyfriend around. practice ran late into the night, leehan just staying at the dorms for the time being. he had to be up early, barely getting any sleep, and had no time to talk to you. so when he was able to finally finish with performances, of course he clung to you like a baby koala.
you played with his hair while softly kissing the top of his head, leehan nuzzling into you under your touch. questions and answers about how life had been got exchanged, with him closing his eyes at your voice. he found comfort in the warmth of your tone, one that he missed the sound of so dearly. and as he started to feel sleepy, his answers eventually turned into mumbles of soft hmm-s and mhm-s.
at the lack of responses, you stopped practically interrogating him, instead resorting to kissing his face. your lips touched every part of him so softly as you faced him to show your love. he smiled his signature smile, the one where his eyes scrunch into crescents, resembling the moon in a beautiful night sky. as much as he loved to make you feel special, he loved to be taken care of. so he let you do as you wanted, to help him fill up on the love he'd been deprived of.
the kisses never stopped, trailing down to his jawline as your hands reached behind his back to rub it gently. he could feel every touch to his core, slowly but surely starting to get needy for you. it was when you kissed down his neck onto his sweet spot that he said it: “mommy…”
his voice was quiet by firm, but you let go of your position to stare at him. “what did you say?”
the sudden change in the atmosphere had the two of you confused but also… excited. he was never one to call you by said term, but at the moment it felt so right. but if you didn’t like it, then he just might’ve ruined the mood…
“n-nothing, don’t worry.” his embarrassed face came on as he tried to deny in, but you took his hand to intertwine your fingers. leaning down to kiss that spot once again, you muttered, “‘s ok, say whatever you wanna.”
the indirect acceptance of the new nickname had him going. to describe it, he felt like it was the only right term to use at the moment, and he surprisingly liked how it sounded out of his mouth. but you did have to get used to it, and what better way than to have him call you so for now?
your kissing turned into marking, leaving pink hues on the pale canvas. the tug of your teeth on his sensitive skin made him whimper, scared to call you by the name again. you kept going though, wanting to hear him call you so, sucking a bit harder to leave deeper reds.
“take your shirt off baby.” you got up to take your own shirt off, him following suit. he bit his lips as you pushed him back down on the bed, going back to marking his now revealed chest. your free hand moved up to his nipples, touching over them and causing him to gasp.
you looked up at him as your lips reached down to the other nipple, kissing around it. he nervously returned the eye contact, scared for what will happen next. your mouth wrapped around it now, licking and sucking on the new territory. this had leehan squirming under you, the sensitivity hitting him at once as he moaned out once again.
“mommy…” you smirked against his chest as you played with his nipples, something he’d always do when the roles were reversed. your continued attention on his sensitive buds had him whining under you until you let go, sitting up beside him.
“come put your head here, my good boy.” leehan gasped at the nickname as he watched you pat on your lap, inching closer to obey your order. he nervously watched as you raised an eyebrow and pushed down the bra cups to show your boobs, slightly leaning down for him. “now suck.”
his tongue immediately wrapped around your nipple, hands flying to engulf you in a hug. your one hand stayed on leehan’s hair to stroke it as your other removed the rest of his clothes for him. lying naked while sucking your boobs, your leehan looked really cute while being all desperate for you. you hummed out praises for him continuously while also stroking his dick now. and every now and then, leehan would let go to let out the softest yet most exasperated sighs accompanied by calling you mommy.
“you’re being such a good boy for mommy, hanie.” smiling down at him, he hid his face between your chest while nodding, blushing at how you called yourself so. your thumb slid across his slit, hissing following suit. fingers tangled in his blond locks as you slowly rubbed him, his throat now leaving moans of desperation freely. your boyfriend jerked against your hand as he sucked your nipples once again. all the shame and shyness left his body at this point, not caring what he did or said. and all he needed was you to take control.
"mommy please, i need more..." he moaned softly while continuing his actions. a hum followed, with you moving him to get up and on top of him. your sweet smile accompanied by your not-so-sweet actions made leehan squirm under you as you held onto his dick. the slick between the two of you formed quite enough to help him ease into you, causing both lovers to gasp in unison. you moved slowly at first, bottoming out every time before getting back up and going down on him once again.
leehan whimpered as he caught onto your hand, the pleasure getting to his emotions as his eyes teared up. any and every kind of sound erupted from his chest, louder than the previous as he begged you for more. he let out hymns of "faster please mommy," "please, harder mommy, please," "mommy please," "mommy, mommy, mommy!" until he came undone in you, his seed spilling out as you kept riding his pretty cock, which is just for his mommy.
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activesplooger · 3 days ago
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GRIPPING YOUR SHOULDERS!!! HII
OK SO
vox x reader n theyre cuddling while its raining (lets just pretend it can rain in hell) n vox says the first i love you of the relationship. very fluffy very silly maybe a tiny smidge spicy if you want but overall very fluffy
HEY POOKS YEAHHHH LES GO
<33
also i am on a plane writing this so allamaanana sorry if its a bit messy!
ALSO ITS SHORTTT SORRRRYYYY AHHHH
Rainy Day Confessions | Vox x Reader | Hazbin Hotel
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Rain splat intermittently against the windows before pouring down into a storm. Hell rarely got rain, let alone a storm, and VoxTech was quite unprepared. Power lines were cut out and anything requiring electricity was rendered useless. You were at the penthouse trying to get ahold of Vox to see what was happening. Right on cue, Vox bursts through the door in a dripping wet suit. He scowls, “In my entire time in Hell, it hasn’t rained ONE fucking time!”.
You set your phone down and stifle a laugh at the normally neat overlord, "I take it you were unprepared?". "Underprepared is an understatement," he growls, shrugging off his soaked jacket "All of our signals are fogged up and everything is down! The only thing that managed to stay is Alastor's shitty radio show...". "Alright, alright, calm down. It's just a power outage. Maybe once the people are deprived of your technology, they'll realize how much they need it," you take the sopping jacket and toss it in the laundry room.
Vox sighs and walks to the kitchen, "Yeah, whatever, maybe.". He tears off a paper towel from the roll by the sink and dries off his screen. While you're in the laundry room, you see the bag of clothes you had bought earlier today. Giggling, you grab two sets of matching shark pajamas and skip into the kitchen. The pajamas dangle in your hands in front of Vox, "Look what I bought~". "No," he says flatly. "I thought you loved sharks?" you bring the clothes closer to him.
"I do not love sharks," he turns to the side and forces a scowl, "I just like them! And have an aquarium, and- Stop looking at me like that!". You make doe eyes at him, "Pleaassee? I know you love them!". Muttering something under his breath, he grabs the pajamas and goes to the bedroom to change.
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You both changed into your matching pajamas. Currently, you're sitting on the couch beside the fireplace, waiting for Vox to join you. He walks out of the bedroom with a relieved expression, clad in the cutest shark pajamas. "You look cuteeee~" you tease, chuckling softly to yourself.
Vox grunts in response, settling beside you on the couch and resting his head against your chest. Your finger gently twirls around his antennae, "I'm sorry you had a bad day.". "It's fine..." he says muffled against your chest.
The two of you sit in silence for a moment, the only sound being the rough splatting of rain outside. Your breath slows down and you start to drift off to sleep. Just as you close your eyes, Vox shifts on top of you and presses his lips against your forehead. "Love you," he whispers. Your eyes shoot open, "What'd you just say?".
His body jerks up from his relaxed position, "What the fuck I thought you were asleep?!". "I-I was trying, but then-," you pause, taking a look at his expression. He looked terrified, his breath was heavy as he stared at you with apprehension. You move close to him and cradle his face, "I-I love you too.".
Vox's expression softens, his body slouching as he lets himself relax, "Oh thank G-". Before he can finish you kiss him softly, pressing your lips against his in a tender embrace. The taste of your lips fills him with greed. He quickly lays you down on the couch and gets on top of you. His tongue swipes past your lips, almost asking before entry before forcing his turquoise tongue in your mouth.
Moaning softly, you tangle your tongue with his and wrap your arms around his neck. He continues making out with you before pulling away for air. Sharp turquoise claws gently brush your hair out of your face, his eyes locked on you. He was almost looking at you as if you were something sacred, his gaze full of reverence and awe, "You're beautiful.".
A hand reaches up to cover your blushing face as you chuckle, "Stop-". "Never," he hugs you tightly and rolls off the couch with you on top of him. He lands on the sleek floor with a thud.
He chuckles quietly in your ear as you cackle. "You're an idiot," you say breathlessly as you laugh your ass off. "Oh yeah, well, you love an idiot sooo-" he teases, tangling his claws in your hair. "Fair enough," you rest your head on his chest as he gently rakes his hands through your air.
Once again, you start to doze off. The consistent movement of his chest expanding with each breath lulling you to sleep. "G'night, Vox..." you say, muffled against his chest.
"Goodnight, Doll, I love you."
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archerdepartures116 · 2 days ago
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Hope you feel better soon!
Also I forgot if you already answered this just like I forgot Anon wasn't on when I sent the ask orz but in the pet cafe au have cultivation being a thibg? If so I'd agree possible to even partially gain a human or humanoid form. Night time peopling escapades could be funny. Especially for the MBJ blanket cat.
Any highlights of the "Pets"antics with SQH and SY?
ive been corrupted by seeing skinzhun and skinhe creatures and when you said humanoid my brain immediately jumped to this and well...
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...furhe
but yeah i think humanoid night escapades would be funny so... tell me what y'all think
AS FOR THE PET ANTICS!! Even though they try to avoid property damage out of respect for the cafe, there's bound to be some gnawing on wires and paper rolls being destroyed (courtesy of sj and mbj)
heres a list tho:
Mbj blanket cat, SQH woke up many times being nearly suffocated by him
LBH likes to snuggle on SY's chest when he was younger but he started getting too heavy and SY woke up many times thinking he was having sleep paralysis demons
SY and SQH being jumped by the animals for attempting to take them to the vet
SY and SQH taking LBH out on a "trip", LBH coming back bald, it was quite horrifying to look at
LQG chasing SJ around (bunnies can be menaces too ok)
LBH dragging around LQG (SQH and SY had a heart attack because they thought he was being eaten)
LBH dragging SQH and SY when they take him on walks
SJ tried to drown LQG in YQY's bathing pool
SHL sitting on top of YQY's head and SJ tried to eat her
SHL sitting on top of LMY's head and LQG trying to kick her
QQQ sometimes falls into deep sleep and hangs like a bat in her cage, scaring SQH and SY many times into thinking she died
SJ likes swatting MQF's dust bath into whoever pissed him off that week
not really a pet antic but SQH using the most diabolical photos of the animals to promote their cafe online, much to everyone's dismay
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sassyprettyboy · 3 days ago
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I’ve got you i promise . •S.reid
Fem!BAUreader ! Spencer Reid
In which you suffer from an panic attack and is having a bad day in all she wants is Spencer Reid …
Paring : Fem!BAUreader ! Spencer Reid
Content : fluff comfort angst
Content warning : reader suffers from panic attack in Spencer comforts her in just had my first panic attack I’m ok tho Dr said I’ll be okay I never had that happen before it was little scary for me
Word count : 935
Author notes to sum this up if I was reading this instead of writing this making me the reader in not the writer just to let you know I’m only 4’9 that’s how tall I am and Spencer would have to really bind down to reach to give me a hug how sad is that - okay but that was random sorry.
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You sat at your desk, palms sweating and your heart racing in a tempo that felt out of sync with the world around you. The report in front of you had become an unrecognizable blur, each word slipping through your fingers like sand. Anxiety had a way of sneaking in when you least expected it, and today felt particularly suffocating. Thoughts raced through your mind like a roller coaster ride, twisting and turning with no means of escape.
With every shallow breath, it felt as if a vice gripped your chest, squeezing tighter and tighter, leaving you struggling to find the air your body craved. You rubbed your temples, trying to quell the rising tide of panic as the chaos made it almost impossible to concentrate.
Just then, you heard a soft voice approach. "Hey, you okay?" JJ's concerned tone pulled you away from your spiraling thoughts. She stood nearby, her brow furrowed as she surveyed you.
You shifted in your seat, automatically replying, "I’m fine, JJ," though the tremor in your voice gave you away.
"Are you sure? You don’t look so good," she pressed gently, concern etched across her face.
You wanted to brush it off, to reassure her and yourself, but another wave of panic crashed over you, and you felt yourself drawn toward the one person who always managed to ground you. "Wait, JJ!" you called out, your voice cracking slightly. She paused and turned around, instantly understanding something was off.
"What is it?"
"I... I think I just need Spencer," you admitted, vulnerability leaking through the cracks of your composure.
A gentle smile crossed JJ’s face as she nodded. “Alright. I’ll go get him.” With that, she left, and you were left to battle with your swirling thoughts alone. Moments passed like hours, the panic gripping your chest tighter with each heartbeat. You looked around the office, the familiar scents of coffee and worn-out files doing little to calm the storm inside you.
Just as you felt on the verge of being completely overwhelmed, the door creaked open. Spencer stepped inside, concern immediately evident in the way his brow knitted together as he took in your disheveled state.
Spencer observed the room and gazed back at you for leaning his perfect eyes on you , he noticed the panic in your eyes ,
“Hey JJ said you needed me ? , “you okay he asked ?
I don’t know you say, “I… I don’t know what’s happening,” you confessed, voice barely a whisper. “Everything feels so much right now, and I can’t…”
Before you could finish, he was standing by your side, meeting your gaze, his eyes warm with understanding.
“Hey, it’s okay. Just breathe with me.” He demonstrated, his breath slow and measured, and you tried to follow suit, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.
As you worked together to calm your racing heart,
He asked you if you knew the % of adults that have panic attacks? 
“Umm No you say softly looking up at him .
It’s about 19% of adults who have them you learn something new everyday with me huh , you both chuckle there’s that laugh I love so much he says .
“You nodded, absorbing the information. “And how many of them… only wanted you, Spence?” you asked softly, the vulnerability in your tone reaching out for him.
His eyes widened slightly at your question, and he paused before responding,
“Umm, “That’s hard to say, but I think you’d be surprised at how many people seek comfort in what feels familiar and safe.”
“I think I just wanted you,” you admitted, I feel safe with you Spence in I just needed you as the words came out tears rolled down your face , I don’t think you understand how much I needed you Spence .
Spencer’s expression softened further, and whipped your tears away , he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a gentle embrace. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured, his warmth anchoring you amidst the chaos in your mind. “Just focus on that. I’ve got you , I promise I’m not leaving you .
The panic eased slightly, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you could start to breathe again .
Divider by @fairytopea
Tags
@hoe4hotchner
@catssluvr
@lover-of-books-and-tea
Ps. I fold to this
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witchygagirlwrites · 2 days ago
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Consider Me Gone-Part 2
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Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/Gerstead x Reader
A trauma rolls into med that nearly brings you to your limit. You need Jay and Mouse yet for the first time when you reach your hand out there's not even one there to grasp it.
Warnings: SCENE OF AN O.D.
“Please no” Cassandra begged, falling into your arms. You requested to come along on this notification and now you were regretting it but knew you had to face it “I’m so sorry Cassie” you whispered and felt her knees go out from under her. The two men with you moved to support her but you glared at them as you sank to the floor with her, wrapping your arms protectively around the other woman “He wasn’t alone. I promise you, I was there. I held his hand. I made sure he wasn’t hurting in those last moments. That’s all I could do” 
You shot up out of the bed, a fine sheet of sweat covering your body. Mouse and Jay both were on high alert, shooting up on either side of you. “Sweetheart, what is it?” Mouse asked and you shook your head “Nothing, doesn’t matter” the sting of their words the previous night was still a little too fresh to admit that while finding Mark plagued their memories, his wife’s reaction and pain plagued yours. Jay’s face fell as if he knew just exactly why you’d said nothing “Baby, talk to us”
You shook your head “I said I’m fine” you glanced at the time and saw it was only about an hour before your alarm would’ve gone off anyways. “I’m gonna grab a shower and start coffee” “I’ll start coffee” Jay offered so you nodded and slid out of the bed at the foot of it so you didn’t have to go over either one of them. 
Jay climbed out of bed after you and walked past you while you were picking through your dresser for a pair of scrubs. He placed one hand on your lower back and it took everything in you to not tense under his touch. “I love you” he spoke before kissing the side of your head. “I love you Jay” you whispered, keeping your eyes on the contents of the drawer in front of you.
You didn’t have to look to know he shot Mouse a look before leaving the room. Divide and conquer was always their route when it came to thinking one of them had done something to hurt your feelings in some way and since Jay was the one who’d actually voiced the thought, apparently Mouse was the one tasked with damage control.
You didn’t hear the bed move before you felt Mouse at your back. “Can I please put my arms around you?” he asked and you nodded. He slipped his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest “I’m sorry for what was said, Jay is too. It came out wrong” you nodded simply because you didn’t trust your voice to not waver at the moment.
He stood there for a moment just holding you and you wanted so bad just to forget the hurt. How humiliating it felt when they both had acted as if your time spent overseas was nothing because you weren’t an active combatant. You had the same base training as them, you weren’t exactly Desmond Doss. You believed in kill or be killed and had done whatever it took to keep your unit safe. On top of that to know that they couldn’t even turn to a man that served, it was another woman. Yeah she’d been in your unit but how could they not realize how that would make you feel?
“Greg, I’ve got to get a shower” you whispered and he pressed a kiss to your shoulder where the tank you’d worn to bed left it bare “Ok. You want some breakfast?” you shook your head “I’ll just get some coffee” he left his arms drop and you had to remind yourself to not run from the room. What the hell were you doing to yourself? You had to get in a better mindset before work.
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When you got out of the shower and were dressed you headed to the kitchen and could hear the two of them talking. “You know that was a nightmare right?” “Well damn Greg I never would’ve guessed” “Since when does she not tell us about them?”
You stepped around the corner and cleared your throat. Both of their heads whipped around at the sound and they looked like kids with their hands caught in the cookie jar “Is the coffee ready?” Mouse held up your mug and you knew it was made to your taste. You walked over and took it from his hand with a small smile “Thank you”
You leaned back against the counter and took a sip before asking “How’s the case going anyways?” They exchanged a look before Jay said “Voight think’s he has a lead. Him and Al were gonna go talk to a few people they knew this morning” “Good” you replied and left it at that. Normally mornings in your house were spent talking over coffee, planning for the week ahead. Today felt like there was a space between you and them that was strangling you with every breath you took.
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You dumped the rest of your coffee “I’m gonna get going” “Can we talk after work?” Jay asked and you cut your eyes at him “Sure you want to talk to me?” his shoulders sagged slightly “Princess there’s no one else on earth we’d rather talk to” you laughed humorlessly “Really?”
He ran a hand down his face “Baby, it was a freaking beer!” “A beer with another woman Jay!” you argued and he waved a hand “A woman who was in our freaking unit! Who was in the field with us! Who saw the same shit we did!” you shook your head “I was there Jay! I saw the same shit! Who the hell do you think they drug Mark back to? Who do you think had to try their fucking hardest to save him only to have to tell his wife that they couldn’t?”
Mouse stepped between you and Jay “Take a breath, both of you” you glared at him “You aren’t fucking innocent either Greg. You did the same thing! Jay is just verbal about his bullshit! Why don’t you tell me how fucking useless I am too? About how my trauma isn’t valid because I wasn’t in the field? How I WASN’T THERE TOO?”
They both flinched when you screamed but you didn’t care, hot tears were spilling down your face by that point “Ever stop to think that when Erin called to give me that heads up that it took me right back to that day too?” you looked between them and they both dropped their gaze. You nodded slowly “Of course not. You two found him, yeah and that was fucking horrific. I care enough about you two to never take away from anything you’ve endured but I am the one that he was laid on a stretcher in front of and tasked with trying to save! I am the one who had to lie and tell him he was going to be ok! I am the one who watched life leave his eyes and I am the one who held his wife when she was told her husband, the father of her twins, was not coming home. I don’t give a fuck what Athena saw. You two were drowning, ok. You come to me! ME! No one else! We’re supposed to have each other’s backs! We’ve always had each other’s backs but because she’s in town all of a sudden I’m not good enough?”
“We never once said that!” Mouse argued but a phone chiming interrupted all of you. You glanced towards the counter to see Jay’s phone lit up. You knew both of their passwords like they knew yours so you walked over to pick it up and saw it had Athena’s name on it. You didn’t even look at the text. You picked it up and threw it at Jay’s chest. 
“You two don’t even care that I’m here in front of you do you? Just because she was in the field. Did she put you two back together? Did she let herself jump so far down into that darkness just to help you two dig yourselves back up? I did! I needed you two to talk to me last night because then that meant you trusted me with the hell in your head. You didn’t. You talked to her. You chose her. Sometimes what you don’t say comes through so much clearer than what you do” 
You spun on your heel to walk out the room but both of them caught you, trying to put their arms around you. You shoved them off “No! Fuck you! You don’t get to touch me!” They both put their hands up defensively. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking until you raised them to point one at each of them “I love both of you with my entire fucking heart but you need to decide what it is you want”
You stormed out of the room, stopping just long enough to grab your keys and phone before slamming the door behind yourself.
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You sat in your car with your head leaned back against the seat, trying your best to stop the damn tears. Your phone hadn’t stopped ringing since you left home. Jay and Mouse were taking turns calling and texting. When they got to work they would probably resort to either using landlines or stealing the unit’s phones.
You took a deep breath and clicked on the group text thread. M:Sweetheart please answer your phone   J:Baby just talk to us  M:You know we would never want anyone but you  J:No one would ever compare to you   M:We love you more than anything   J:Please just answer your phone
You texted back I have to go into the hospital now. I can’t have my head on this when people are hurt or sick in front of me. You both know what you mean to me. I don’t know what that text said and I don’t want to know. I do need to know where I stand by the time my shift ends
With that you locked your phone and slid it into your pocket, checked to see just how horrible you looked then climbed out of your car. 
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Two car wrecks, a delivery done in the ed, a GSW and three people with the flu covered your first five hours of your shift. You still weren’t in the best mind set but you were doing what you did best, pushing it to the side to help the people in front of you. That was how you maintained your balance, how you didn’t lose yourself. That was something you’d found long ago.
You were in the breakroom when Will came in and you dropped your gaze, pulling out your phone and hoping he hadn’t noticed you weren’t quite aces. “There’s my favorite sister in law” you cut your eyes up with a small smile “Hey Will” he sat down across from you “Are you ok?”
You nodded slowly “Yup, can not think of a single reason why I wouldn’t be” he stared at you for a moment before raising an eyebrow “I’m not the brother you’re in a relationship with but I have known you for quite a while. I love you, you’re like a sister to me.If something is wrong, even if it's something my brother or Mouse did you can talk to me” You nodded “I know. I promise, I’m ok Will. I had a bad night, dreams of delivering bad news kept haunting me” 
“Why did you do that? It wasn’t your job” he asked and you shrugged “I had letters, messages or just to let them know I held the person they loved so they wouldn’t be alone. I would want to know Jay or Mouse wasn’t alone” he smiled “You’re an extraordinary woman. Don’t know how the hell my brother and Mouse of all people got you”
You gave him a small smile “They looked cute in their ACUs” he shook his head with a laugh “There she is” then tapped on the table “I’ll be around if you need me. Just holler and I’ll come running sis” “Thanks Will”
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You stepped out of the break room and heard Ethan call your name “We got an OD in trauma one Y/N! I need you”  you feel in step with him, running around the main desk and into the trauma room. You heard April calling out stats and saw Will administering another round of Narcan but when you glanced at the body on the bed, it felt like their voices were underwater. You could hear them but they were muffled. Your hands felt like they were tingling and your head felt like it may very well slip off your body. That jacket, that black jacket.
You hadn’t been back in Chicago but maybe a month. You just managed to rent a new place. It was a little one bedroom but it was in an ok neighboor and the rent didn’t kill you. You’d just gotten off back to back shifts and was curled up under three blankets from the harsh winter night. The sound of your phone blaring woke you up.You scrambled for it and squinted against the harsh glare before bringing it to your ear “Halstead I swear to christ..”
Before you could finish the threat he cut you off “I had a missed call from Mouse about an hour ago. He left a voicemail, he was slurring Y/N and now he isn’t answering” you were out of the bed before he finished talking “Come pick me up”
You followed Jay to the apartment he said was Mouse’s. He hadn’t let you out of his sight and honestly in this neighborhood? You were grateful. “How the hell are we gonna get in?” you asked and he cut his eyes up at a window. You shrugged and slung your med bag across your chest before pulling his knife out of his pocket “Give me a boost?”
He put his hands around your hips and hoisted you up. It didn’t take you long to pop the flimsy lock on the window and shimmy inside. “Y/N!” he called and you looked back out. He handed you a flashlight and his gun. “What do I need that for?” he shrugged “We don’t know what you’re going into. If it’s bad yell and I’ll kick the door in”
You turned the light on and readied the gun before stepping away from the window. Your heart shattered the moment you saw the interior of the apartment. There was no furniture,at all. A single mattress was on the floor and it felt colder inside than it did outside.
You cleared room by room and was starting to think maybe Greg had just drunk dialed Jay when you pushed open the bathroom door. “JAY!” you screamed. 
Mouse lay in the middle of the bathroom floor, a couple pill bottles lay in the sink and it didn’t look like he was breathing. You slid to your knees,throwing your med bag off onto the floor.  You rolled him over onto his side, the black jacket he wore was icy to the touch, when you noticed how grey his lips looked tears sprung to your eyes “No no no” you heard the front door bounce off the wall from the force of Jay kicking it in.
You reached for Mouse’s pulse and felt a weak, thready one. “CALL AN AMBULANCE JAY! HE’S OVERDOSED!” you screamed. You dug into your bag, shaking fingers wrapping around the narcan “Greg please don’t fucking do this to me” you whispered before bringing the medicine up to his nose and administering it. You turned him for rescue breaths, praying you hadn’t been too late. Jay ran into the room, still on the phone with the dispatcher “My-my friend is a trained medic”
You didn’t try to listen, your goal was getting to see those sky blue eyes you loved looking up at you again. “Please Greg” you whispered, administering the second dose after the time passed and was rewarded by a harsh gasp of air being forced into his lungs. “Tell them he’s breathing” you sobbed, turning him on his side again in case he puked. His eyes cracked open “Y/N?” you nodded, tears flowing down your face “Hey” “Don’t cry baby” he whispered weakly and you shook your head “Then stay awake till the ambulance gets here ok?”
“Y/N! Y/N!” you hadn’t realized you froze or that everyone in the room had realized it. Ethan, Will and April had gotten the patient stabilized but were now staring at you like they were worried you may be next “I’m sorry” you whispered and ran out of the room. 
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Ethan found you in the break room, sitting on the floor with your head between your knees shaking. He crouched in front of you, close but not touching “Hey, can I touch you or no?” you shook your head and he smiled slightly “Ok. Can I get April or Maggie?” you nodded and he smiled “Stay here soldier. I’m gonna get you help. I won’t leave your side for long, I promise”
He came back a few moments later with April in tow. She climbed down next to you and slowly put her arm around you “Match my breathing honey”. You listened to her breaths and were able to slow yours after a few minutes while she kept two fingers on your pulse to check it. 
Once you were able to actually focus your eyes on them Ethan sat cross legged in front of you “Talk to me” you swallowed hard “That jacket the kid had” he nodded and you met his eyes “Greg had one just like it the night he overdosed and I thought we lost him” He shared a look with April and she nodded “I’m gonna go back to the floor sweetie. If you need me just send Ethan” you nodded “Thank you”
Once she left he looked back at you “When did it happen?” you swallowed hard “When we got back we all kind of went our own ways for a while. Jay, he sought comfort in bodies. Any bed he could warm he did. I visited families of the men I lost, delivering messages then I went to stay with my sister for a while, I barely slept or ate during that time. If it wasn’t eighty proof I didn’t want it and Greg well he found his own way to numb the pain” 
“How’d you get out of it?” he asked and you smiled slightly “Greg pulled Jay out of a hole. He was in bad shape. He’d started drinking bad, doing stuff that well he shouldn’t have been involved with. Greg got him home to Chicago. Those two being back here was like a magnet to pull my ass back” “What happened when Greg overdosed?” he asked so you recounted that night “He was so thin Ethan. I mean Greg has always had a slimmer frame but he’s always been lean muscle. We’re talking about a man that could toss me over his shoulder and laugh about it. That night, I could move him by myself with no issue. His lips were grey…it took two rounds of Narcan”
“I didn’t know” he offered and you nodded “I don’t think it would’ve hit that bad had intelligence not had just caught a case that trudged up memories of how we lost a man too. I was the medic that couldn’t save him..they don’t get that pain” he smiled slightly and nudged your knee “Lucky for you someone you know does. Any time anything like that hits you, call me. April won’t care. She loves you and wouldn’t want you to have to face it alone”
“You don’t know how much that means” you whispered and he nodded. “Feel like facing the outside world or wanna sit in here a while longer?” you shook your head “We’ve faced worse right?” he smiled “There’s that medic who sends em running” 
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The moment you and Ethan stepped out of the break room you spotted Will. “Are you ok?” he asked and you nodded “Yeah, a little embarrassed” Ethan cut his eyes at you “That? We’re not doing that, ok?” you nodded “Ok” he smiled “Get to work medic” you grinned “Yes sir”
Will looked at you “Do I need to call Jay?” you shook your head “I’m ok” he gave you a look so you sighed “I’ll text them!” that seemed to appease him enough. “If you need me holler, ok?” “Ok”
How do you text your boyfriends that you screamed at that morning that you had a flashback and panic attack at work? Before Will says anything, I’m fine. Just a case threw me off. No big deal
M: What do you mean you’re fine, no big deal???  J: Do we need to come to you??  M: Are you ok??  
I’m fine, just had a bad time with a case that came in
M: What case? You stared at the text because no matter how mad you were you didn’t want to put guilt on him. He’d gone through hell. He’d fought to get and stay sober. You didn’t want to throw it in his face. Doesn’t matter and I don’t mean that like this morning. I’m ok now
M:If you need us, call. I love you  J: Even if I can’t come, Mouse will. I love you
Love you both, always
You slid your phone back into your pocket and jumped back into work.
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By the time you got off you were dead on your feet but you considered stopping by the precinct to see everyone before going home. You didn’t want to text Jay or Mouse so you texted Erin Hey babe, want some coffee? It didn’t take long for her to text back Omg yes! I’ll steal you from dumb and dumber I will love you so much you laughed and sent back Text me orders
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You pulled into the front lot with the two carriers of coffee. You’d texted Erin to send help down and smiled when you saw Al coming out the front door “Oh she sent my favorite detective” he smiled “Hey kid” you passed him one carrier then grabbed the other and the extra coffee that was Trudy’s. 
“How was work?” he asked and when you grimaced he laughed “That good huh?” you shrugged “Put it this way? There’s days I kinda miss the simplicity of being a trauma medic compared to an ed nurse”
You followed him in and stopped at the front desk to offer Trudy her cup. She smiled “I have no clue how Mouse and Detective chuckles got a woman like you” you winked at her “Neither do they” 
You followed Al up the stairs after he scanned his palm. You could hear everyone’s voice drifting downstairs and smiled when you heard Erin and Kim laughing. You’d gotten close with the unit over time. They were your friends, hell your family. 
You made it to the bullpen and started passing out cups. Voight smiled “You’re an angel sweetheart” you shook your head “No one likes a liar now Hank” and everyone cracked up. You were about to ask where Jay and Mouse were when you heard their voices coming from the back hallway. You turned towards the door with a smile that quickly fell when you realized they weren’t alone. Athena was with them. “What the fuck” you and Erin both spoke in tandem.
All three heads turned towards your voice and Athena had the nerve to smile “Fireball” you grabbed the cups of coffee and threw them at Jay and Mouse “I’m done” you didn’t try to stop yourself from running that time. You ran down the stairs, hearing Erin’s raised voice along with Jay and Mouse’s followed by Voight yelling for everyone to shut up.
When you got to the lobby you slowed to a fast walk and nodded to Trudy but the moment you hit the door you ran for your car, collapsing into the driver’s seat.
____________________
You moved through the house with your duffle bag shoving everything you came across that belonged to you in it. Thank god the United States made sure to supply you with a bag big enough to pack your life in.
You snatched your old dogtags off the corner of the mirror where they hung with Mouse and Jay’s. They didn’t need them. You would burn your photos if you had enough time. Your goal was to get gone before they could get home. They knew how you felt, they knew your insecurities. You’d laid everything on the line for them and they hadn’t cared. She’d smiled in your face! SMILED.
You’d kill her if you ever got within arm’s reach again. She didn’t know them like you did. She didn’t know a damn thing about them compared to you. Every demon, every dark corner YOU faced. More tears broke free but that didn’t stop you. If you weren’t worth fighting for in their opinion why would you fight for them? 
You did a final look around then took your key off and laid it on the counter. You didn’t need it anymore. You locked the door behind yourself and threw your duffle into your trunk. Maggie would let you sleep on her couch until you could figure things out. Your life just fell down around you, the men you love just turned their backs on you. You’d never felt more alone but knew she wouldn’t turn you away. You did have some people that truly did love you even if Jay and Mouse weren’t on that list after all.
@desimarie12
@alterna123
@allisonargent144
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stormz369 · 3 days ago
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Jason Todd Week Special! Day 2: Joker
A/N: this unofficial mini-chapter is part of the event being run by @jasontoddweek2025 and can be enjoyed without reading the rest of the story
Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, let me know if I missed anything worth tagging!
warnings/labels: trauma nightmares, non-explicit mentions of character death and violence
wc: 724
CIGYN? Chapter Selection
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-at some point between chapters 9 and 10-
Jason was frequently a fitful sleeper, tossing and clinging and squeezing me. He didn't sleep over often, but when he did we settled into a bit of a routine easily enough. We dozed off, my back pressed against his chest. When his tossing woke me I would turn over and stroke his hair and kiss the top of his head until he settled down, and that was usually enough. I would go back to sleep, and in the morning he made breakfast.
His nightmares were usually accompanied by soft murmurs at most. So my brain took a minute to process the sound of a hoarse scream behind me as I woke in the dark. Jason was trembling, I could feel it, and gasping sharply as if he couldn't breath.
When I realized what had woken me, I jumped up, flipping over. “Jay??”
He jolted, flinching back. “D- Don't!”
“... O- ok. It's gonna be ok, Jason. … I'm just gonna turn on the lamp, ok?” I whispered, slowly reaching for the bedside table.
He slowly nodded, and I flipped the switch. The green flecks in his eyes had taken on an electric quality, making the deep blue of his eyes look darker and duller. He watched me like a cornered animal, curled in on himself in a little ball.
“... Was it a nightmare?” I whispered. He shifted, grimacing slightly, and nodded. “... Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
I nodded slowly. “Do you want to cuddle?”
He blinked a bit, taking slow, deep breaths. “... I … I just … I need a minute.”
“Ok. I'll go get you a glass of water.” He nodded slowly, and I went to the kitchen.
I took my time, humming softly to myself, and pretended not to hear the muffled sobs coming from the bedroom. The sounds died down, and I brought a glass of water and a canister of trail mix. I continued humming, so he would hear me coming, and by the time I returned he was sitting up, leaning against the headboard. Jason's cheeks were a bit pink, but otherwise he looked ok.
I smiled softly, offering him the glass. “I brought something to nibble on too, in case you want it.”
He took the glass, breathing slowly. “... Why?”
“Having a snack is grounding. It can help your nervous system remember that you're somewhere safe, cause if you weren't you wouldn't have stopped to eat.”
“Huh…” he sipped the water, gesturing for me to sit next to him.
I smiled brightly, climbing into bed, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “... Sorry I woke you …”
“Don't be sorry, baby. I got you, and you got me, right?”
He nodded slowly, leaning against me more. “... Still sorry…”
I ran my fingers through his hair gently; “I'm glad you didn't have to wake up alone.”
He sighed softly, setting the glass aside and wrapping his arms around my waist. “... Can … can I just … lay here? And you keep doing that?”
“Of course, Jay, anything.” I stroked his hair more, and he rested his cheek against my tummy.
After a few minutes, he sniffled softly. I gently massaged his scalp; “are you sure you don't want to talk about it?”
“... I just … I can still hear him laughing … he's taunting me …” he sniffled, clinging to me more. “... I can't make him stop … he's just in my head now …”
I frowned deeply, holding him close. “... He's not here, Jay. I won't let him hurt you ever again. I promise.”
He chuckled weakly. “... Batman couldn't even save me … what can you do that he couldn't?”
I leaned down to kiss the top of his head, whispering; “Batman has a very strict no killing policy. … I have made no such vow.”
He blinked a bit, looking up at me slowly; “... You … you would try to …?”
“If he was here in front of me, there isn't a force on this planet that could stop me.” I pushed his hair out of his eyes. “He doesn't get to chase you into my home and make you feel unsafe.”
Tears filled his eyes as he buried his face against me. I continued stroking his hair, humming softly until he finally dozed back off.
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Divider by: @saradika-graphics
Fanart in the header by: @crowkip
Jason Todd Week Taglist: @cottage-worm
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misskentuckyrain · 2 days ago
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Just A Little Bit.....
So what says Happy 90th Birthday Elvis like a smutty one shot?
To be fair I started writing this last week, just a rambling idea that popped into my head!
Warnings: Just a lot of smut to be honest, with a sprinkling of fluff
Word Count: 2.1k
The warm spring air blows through the curtains that hang at the window, the afternoon sun shines through the gap. After such a cold winter it actually felt nice to feel the warmth on your skin.
On a break between tours you and Elvis are spending some rare alone time in your bedroom. It’s early afternoon and post lunch Elvis had suggested you spend a little quality time together.
You thought you knew what “quality time” meant. To Elvis it was a time where he got you both naked, have himself as deep inside you as possible in as quick a time as possible but this time you are wrong.
As you lie on top of the bed covers, eyes closed, you hum along to a familiar song playing quietly on the radio. Elvis is reading next to you, his side pressed gently against yours. The feel of him is always comforting, something about the lightest touch from him makes you feel safe. Letting out a contented sigh you hear the DJ on the radio lining up the next song, as it plays it becomes clear it’s a song, and a voice you know well. 
“I don't want much, Just want a little bit, Don’t want it all, Just a little bit. Give me an eeny weeny bit, a teeny weeny bit of your love…”
You giggle to yourself as the familiar voice fills your ears. Elvis glances side-ways at you, a grin forms on his lips.
“Who’s this guy?” he starts “He can’t hold a tune that’s fo’ sure!” 
Rolling your eyes and laughing you move up and across to straddle his lap, moving the book out of his hands and placing them around your waist.
“Oh I don’t know..” you say as you lean forward to place a quick kiss on his lips
“I think he’s kinda ok. I mean, it’s a catchy tune at least. I bet the singer is cute too….” causing Elvis to roll his eyes at you now.
“Honey, I ain’t been called cute in a long time” Elvis attempts to keep it light but you can see a hint of something in his eyes. A bit of sadness? Perhaps embarrassment. You love him for all he is, even the things he sees as negatives you see as positives but you know he struggles with the way he looks now, compared to his younger years.
You tut at him and make yourself a little more comfortable. Making your way down from his temple you kiss your way down to his lips, singing quietly as you go.
‘Turn your lamps down low, Slip me a kiss….” 
You go in for a longer kiss. As you pull away Elvis grumbles slightly. 
“Turn your lights down low. I won't let you resist…”
Kissing down Elvis jawline to his neck you back up onto his thighs, undoing the buttons on his shirt as you go, pushing it off his shoulders and leaving his chest bare to you.  Continuing your path down his chest you take a second to flick your tongue over his nipples, sucking a little on them as you lean back. Pulling your dress over your head and flinging it to the floor, you sit on Elvis thighs in just your lace panties clearly much to Elvis’ delight as his eyes light up and darken simultaneously.
Elvis’ hands move to touch you but you stop him, firmly placing them back at his sides, as you shake your head no at him with a smile. He lets out a loud sigh in frustration and you laugh.
“I want an eeny weeny bit, a teeny weeny bit of your love…” you continue.
“I’ll give ya an eery weeny bit in a minute Darlin’” Elvis grumbles, clearly still frustrated at not being allowed to touch you. You tut again at him.
“I think we both know there is nothing eeny or weeny about this” Elvis jumps slightly as you wrap your hand around the bulge currently tenting his pants.
Grasping hold of the button you pop it open easily and draw down the zipper, letting the backs of your fingers tease the flesh underneath as you move slow pace.
True to form Elvis is not wearing any underwear so his cock bounces out as you push open his pants, getting Elvis to lift his hips up slightly so you can pull them down his long legs and off of him, his pants destined to join your dress on the floor.
You gaze down at his form for a minute, admiring every inch of it. Still strong, even with a little padding as you liked to call it and still very beautiful. 
Elvis starts to fidget, likely a little uncomfortable under your unwavering stare. You lean forward and gently wrap your fingers around his length, whispering as you pull him into your mouth,
“I want an eeny weeny bit…..”
Elvis draws in a loud breath as you tease your tongue around the head of his cock, swirling it around before taking him fully into your throat, the head hitting the back and making him jump a little with the sensation. Pulling back to the tip you swirl your tongue again before bobbing back down to envelop him in your mouth. You swallow as your nose hits his pubic hair, the action tightening your throat around him.
“God damn baby!….” Elvis yells, sitting up straighter as one of his hands finds it’s way into your hair. A smile forms on your lips as they stretch around him and you feel your pussy start to throb. Nothing turns you on more than giving Elvis pleasure and having the taste of him on your tongue.
Allowing Elvis’ hand to stay where it is you bob up and down on him for a while, letting him guide your speed. Bringing a hand up, you gently cup his balls and play with them, letting your finger stroke the skin behind them as you do. The air is filled with gasps and moans and the odd “Oh honey”. 
A little time passes and your feel them start to draw up and his thighs tense, you know Elvis is close and you are more than willing to get him there but he clearly has another plan for the both of you.
Elvis gently pulls your mouth away from him, a string of saliva still connecting his cock to your lips. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand just as Elvis hauls you up into his lap and kisses you. Hard.
Manoeuvering you so he has you where he wants you Elvis holds you so your pussy is hovering directly over his cock but instead of guiding himself in, he leans forward a little
“Just a little bit…”
Elvis says quietly to you, lowering you enough so just the head of his cock is inside you. 
“Give me an eeny weeny bit…”
He lowers you a little bit more, stretching you out as he moves slowly into you. You whine in frustration and a smug smile crosses Elvis face, he loves to tease.
“A teeny weeny bit of your love…”
With the final word he plunges the rest of his length into you, making you groan loudly, eyes rolling back into your head slightly.
“Oh…god…” you stutter out.
“Nope, just good ol’ Elvis honey” he laughs as his hands wrap around your hips and he begins to set up a hard and fast pace, lifting you and dropping you back down on to his cock. 
Elvis controls the pace for a moment, moving you up and down on his cock, bucking it up into you, the head rubbing directly over your g-spot and your clit rubs against his pelvis as you move.
After a while his grip on your hips lessens and he lets you ride him to your chosen tempo. You slow it down a little as you move on his cock in a more relaxed speed, wanting to savour the feeling for a little longer. 
Riding Elvis, either front facing or reverse, is one of your favourite positions, and you have quite a few. Not only are you able to look at his face the whole time, memorise the looks of pleasure as they cross his handsome features but you get to see how he looks back at you. 
As his crystal blue eyes stare back, although somewhat darkened with lust, you can see the love and need there is between you. So wrapped up in your thoughts you don’t realise you have now slowed to a snails pace. 
A smile crosses Elvis face followed by a hard thrust that has a gasp escaping your lips. 
“Thought I fucked you into a trance for a moment there honey” he chuckles.
“Nearly had me calling the doctor for ya” he continues, moving his hips at a faster pace. You move your hips to try and meet his pace but at this point he is basically holding them and pulling you down onto his cock, fucking himself into you.
“Hmmmmmnnnnnn….” is the only sound you can manage as you wrap your arms around Elvis neck. You can feel your orgasm bearing down, tingling around the edges and you know it is going to be intense, you don’t want to end this just yet but you can also tell that Elvis is getting close.
“Just a little bit…..more…” you whisper in his ear, nibbling at his ear lobe, you tighten your muscles around his cock as you plunge down on him. 
“Oh…Jesus…so…so tight…..so good. Not gonna last baby. Need you to come with me…..” Elvis nuzzles into the side of your face as you both gasp for air and your movements become more frantic, the sound of skin slapping skin echoing around the bedroom.
“Just a lit…….” you are unable to finish that sentence as Elvis pulls you down onto him one more time, his cock hitting directly into your spot and making you explode around him. At the same time you can feel his hips stutter and a familiar warmth spreads through you as he throbs inside you with a loud groan.
As you both try and catch your breath, Elvis holds you close and continues to thrust his hips into you, although at a far gentler pace. You revel in the feeling of your pussy still clenching around his length, the aftershocks of your orgasm still running through your whole body. You slide up and down on what you assume to be his now softening length a few more times and then stop but Elvis movements don’t stop.
You lean back so you can see his face and you see that same smug grin from earlier. Elvis glances down to where you are both joined and moves his hand from your hip to your sodden clit, his fingers starting to move over it in a circular pattern. A gasp escapes your lips, you’re a little oversensitive.  
“Elvis!…..”
You try and move back a little, away from his touch but he stops you by wrapping his other arm more firmly around your waist.
“Just a little bit…” he grins, fingers still rubbing their pattern “I know ya have one more for me honey…give me a teeny weeny bit….”
You hate to admit it but he’s right again and to your surprise you feel another orgasm fast approaching. Leaning forward again you move your hips in a gentle motion aware that Elvis cock is still inside you, not as hard as it was but hard enough to add to the pleasure.
“Oh god… Oh Elvis…I’m going…I’m going to come again…El…..”
Elvis kisses you repeatedly on the side of your face as you nuzzle into his neck, making the space between you humid as you gasp and whine against him.
Your second orgasm is less intense than your first, it washes over you at a slower pace, like a wave crashing on the sand. You feel Elvis’ now softened cock slide out of you as you clench around it for a second time. His magical fingers work you through it until he can feel your body relax against him and your breathing has evened out. 
You sit back, taking his face in your hands and kiss him slowly. Pausing for breath you whisper with a smile
“I want an eeny weeny bit, a teeny weeny bit of your love”
Elvis brushes some hair out of your face and kisses you again, smiling.
“You have it. Always.”
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calmlb · 8 months ago
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can we as a society please stop calling Dazai the “demon prodigy” like it’s canon??? IM BEGGING
his canon nickname is so underused too… i mean c’mon, the “black wraith of the Port Mafia??” idk if i’ve ever even seen it used in a fic 😭
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my-darling-boy · 5 months ago
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It’s horrible how my design course has killed my enjoyment in creativity because all they want is finished pieces founded in nothing but a spontaneous mark just to hang at some concrete art gallery or to sell to some “join our revolution” comfy business-casual company with a prison cell wellness room. I’m not saying that it’s “not art” —cos that’s a different post altogether— it’s that the ethos behind this particular formula for art education is ruining the way we think about creation.
Design courses (and other art courses I’ve heard?) are no longer teaching artists or designers techniques, drawing skills, art fundamentals and allowing them to find their own voice so much as they are only instructing how to tic boxes alongside pushing corporate and classist motivated style/methodology bias aimed at producing workers, not creatives, not to mention providing Adobe with endless funds for their despicable scam programs. That’s it. My creativity is only a means to money for them, and if they can extract the process of creation from me without the complex creative intimacy involved in it, they know they can churn out products and services faster and it’s concerning some lecturers don’t seem to be aware this is what they’re teaching? Like they’re buying into industry propaganda?
And the whole time it’s sold to you like you can be some trailblazer when the irony is they’re usually either prepping you for cubicle work or for some misguided high horse creative team pumping out design solutions completely divorced from the reality. I’m tired of all the talks about sustainability in a vacuum with no conversation about nuanced designs that factor in broader social and economic perspectives which lack thereof is leading to sustainable products being sold at a price only able to be afforded by wealthier people who are causing said economic and social problems and contributing to the rapid obsoletion of trades and crafts. Lecturers and speakers don’t seem to think that’s any of our concern and should just worry about producing the design for the hypothetical Bluetooth powered organic hairbrush or using the twigs to make the pattern for the £85 fabric square.
Like? Can I please make something that actually resonates with people outside the circle jerk of egotistical creatives and corporations? Something charming and maybe idk something that doesn’t make me want to tear my miserable portfolio in half with my teeth? And they’re like Mm nope sorry it has to be an extreme close up of a mark making abstract leaf you made from a recycled trash bag inspired by a stalled urban space which we will force you to price at £100 during your exhibition 5 people will bother to attend and no you’re not allowed any other style cos this isn’t the Dark Ages :///
I think the worst thing my lecturer ever said was, while looking around the room of our class work reduced down to a series of cubes and splatters and abstract typography, “Wow, I love how you can’t tell what anyone’s [main artist discipline] is!” Like awww conformity at the expense of a person’s individuality to make pieces for airport hallways and rich people’s living rooms wow so cool heehee like girl that’s not good?? Why on Earth are you complimenting us for that? Like I get it, I thought this course would boost skillset as an illustrator (as we were told), turns out the degree is really not for me, fair enough to anyone thinking that, but forcing students to produce modern abstract art because you think it’s the ONLY Logical Pathway for the future of design, judging them intensely for doing a different style, and thinking producing financially inaccessible art + design is the solution to things like climate change and community severance is an objectively bad take.
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starlost-maniac · 19 hours ago
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My Significant Bother - Ch 2
Warnings/genre: SMUT, piv, unprotected sex (don't do it), mxf, mxm, some angst if you squint, unrequited love(?), Mean Jisung (kinda?) I probably missed some (I'll eventually remember all the tags -_-)
Pairing: MinSung x fem!reader
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, DNI
dividers made by @cafekitsune
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"Minho.." You look at your boyfriend, shocked.
"The delivery guy was being a creep, hyung. He was coming into the house and she called for me. Since you were in the shower, I pretended to be her boyfriend and the creep wanted proof." Jisung wipes his mouth again.
"It's not a problem, Ji. Thank you for protecting kitten for me." He smiles at you both, stepping closer to you.
"You aren't mad?" You look at him as he stops in front of you.
"Why would I be mad? Jisung was keeping you safe when I was unavailable." He leans down and kisses your head softly. "Let me go and get dressed, and we can eat dinner. Ji, can you bring the food to the living room and find a movie or something?" He asks, looking at his friend. The boy nods, making sure the door is locked before grabbing the pizza boxes and heading to the living room. Minho pats your ass softly before turning around to go back to his room to dress. You stare after him before going into the living room, sitting on the couch opposite of where Jisung planted himself.
"Thank you, Jisung." You say quietly. You were thankful he helped, but now you were a bit confused. His kiss didn't feel like he was doing it just to help you.
"Don't mention it." He says, flipping through movies on Netflix. You stare at the TV until Minho comes back out and sits between you two. Once a movie is decided, you all eat and watch the TV, cleaning up afterwards. Jisung goes off to take a shower while you do the little bit of dishes that were piled next to the sink. Minho comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, pressing himself against your back.
"You feeling ok, kitten? You've been quiet." He kisses the back of your head.
"Yeah, just never had anyone be that much of a creep before. Made my skin crawl and I was scared. I couldn't call for you and I didn't think Jisung would help me." You sigh as you wring out the sponge, turning off the water afterwards.
"Just because you two fight, doesn't mean he won't help, kitten. He's still a decent human being." He kisses your temple. You nod, smiling when your boyfriend starts peppering your cheek with kisses. You laugh and squirm in his hold. He moves his arms and picks you up. "Let's get this kitten to bed. I'm sure she's tired." He carries you off to bed, playfully tossing you onto his mattress. You laugh out and turn onto your back, smiling up at him. He smiles and slips his shirt off and climbs into bed with you. He hovers over you a bit, looking into your eyes before he leans down and kisses you ever so softly.
You move one hand to his cheek as you close your eyes, the other lays on his chest, his skin warm against yours. He moves his free hand down to the bottom of the shirt you stole from him, slipping his hand under it to place his hand on your stomach. He kisses you deeper, gently nipping at your lower lip. Just as he slips his tongue in your mouth, Jisung knocks on the door. Minho let's a 'hmm?' escape his throat and the younger boy pops his head in a bit.
"Is it cool if I sleep in here? My room is cold and I can't find the extra blankets."
"Mhmm." Minho continues to slide his hand up your stomach a bit, the shirt not lifting far enough to show your skin off. You lightly tap his chest when he gives Jisung the ok, but Minho just chuckles. Jisung walks in and over to the bed, somehow oblivious to what's going on. He lays down next to Minho and stares at the ceiling. Your boyfriend grins into the kiss before pulling away, moving his head down to playfully bite at your nipple through his shirt. You gasp and moan softly, giving him a light tap again.
"Hyung..?" Jisung says after a moment of silence.
"Hmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Mm..just teasing kitten a bit. Nothing bad." He laughs out.
"Uh-huh." He's quiet for another moment. "Should..should I leave?" He starts to sit up. Minho chuckles and lays down.
"No. I'm done." He laughs and pulls the blanket up, covering you up, Jisung lays back down and pulls the blanket up as well. Jisung turns onto his side, facing away from you and Minho, not wanting his friend to feel that his dick was hard from your moan.
——
It's been nearly a month since Jisung started working at the same company as you. He was surprisingly very good at the job, and even more surprising, he was easy to work with. Your coworkers loved working with him as well. You were typing away on your computer, answering emails when Jisung came next to your desk.
"So, how do they do birthdays here? Cause I caught wind that both Felix's and Seungmin's birthdays were on the weekend."
"Usually we get a cake for the floor, obviously one big enough to accommodate around 30 people." You sit back in your chair. "Felix and Seungmin didn't want anything extravagant this year, so per their request, we didn't celebrate. Still wished them a happy birthday though. Chan may or may not celebrate his with us as his is coming up."
"Hmm." Jisung nods. "Speaking of birthdays, did Minho say anything about celebrating his birthday this year?"
"Not really. We might just go out for dinner and a movie. It's what he likes to do." You run your fingers through your hair, the scent of your shampoo wafts up to Jisung's nose. He inhales it deeply but quietly. "We may go to the animal shelter to see the cats. He loves to see them." You smile softly, thinking about how cuddly he gets when he plays with the cats and kittens.
Jisung nods. "Sounds like fun." He stands there for a moment longer, enjoying the scent of your shampoo.
"Is there…anything else I can do for you, Jisung?" You look up at him. He stares down at you, doe eyed. He shakes his head and goes back to his desk. The rest of the work day goes by with nothing exciting happening. Minho picks you and Jisung up and brings you home. You do your regular routine of taking your makeup off and changing into comfortable clothes, this time opting for a longer style crop top and sleep shorts. You go and sit on the living room couch, legs tucked underneath you. You scroll on your phone quietly as Jisung sits on the recliner off to the side.
"Do you two want anything specific for dinner tonight, or should we just order something? I'm kinda in the mood for Chinese." Minho calls down the hall from the bathroom.
"Chinese sounds good, baby." You call back, Jisung seconds it.
"Ooh, sounds like you two are finally starting to agree on things." Minho teases.
"It's food, hyung. Chinese is also always a good option." Jisung reclines the chair, scrolling on his own phone. He occasionally sneaks a glance at you. Minho comes out and sits next to you, quickly ordering the food, knowing exactly what you and Jisung like. He tosses his phone on the couch and pulls you into his lap. You giggle and peck his lips.
"Hi baby." You kiss the tip of his nose.
"Hi kitten." He smiles up at you. "How was work today?"
"Same as usual. The guys get along with Jisung. He's surprisingly good at the job." Jisung complains from his seat. Minho laughs, placing his hands on your hips, rubbing your bare skin with his thumbs.
"Are you two getting along more though?" Minho looks between you two.
"Gotta be for the job. Especially since I'm the team leader." You raise your arms above you and stretch. Your shirt lifting just enough for Minho to see the underside of your breasts. Jisung watches you, just barely able to see the view Minho has. He leans over in his seat, resting his head in his hand, making it seem like he was getting comfortable.
Your boyfriend grins and brings his hands up to gently cup the underside of your chest. You laugh a bit and lower your arms, your shirt now bunched up some on his wrists. He gently squeezes the mounds.
"Can I help you, baby?" You ask, smiling at him.
"Mm, no. I think I'm good." He grins more, gently squeezing again before slipping his thumbs up to your nipples. He gives them a quick swipe, making the sensitive nubs harden. You give him a look that says 'really?' and shake your head. Jisung watches from his seat. He positioned himself where it looks like he's looking at his phone, but he can still see what Minho is doing.
"Jisung is still right there, baby." You place your hands on Minho's arms.
"He's too busy with his phone." His eyes flick to his friend. "Ji?"
"Hmm?" He focuses on his phone.
"See, kitten. He's not paying attention." Minho leans forward and kisses your breasts through your shirt. "Plus, it's not like you don't like being watched." He chuckles. Jisung feels his dick twitch in his shorts, gaze flicking back up to you and Minho. The older one sits back, catching that Jisung is watching. He grins and chuckles, playfully pulling your shirt up a bit more, uncovering up to just under your nipples.
"That's true, but I'd rather he not be the one watching." You state. Minho leans forward again, softly nipping at your skin. He chuckles when you let out a quiet moan. He lifts your shirt and tucks his head inside, kissing your breasts softly, effectively distracting you. You move your hands up to his shoulders, eyes closing. Jisung carefully adjusts himself in his shorts as he watches over his phone. Minho kisses and licks around your nipple, teasing you. You moan softly, head tilting back some.
Minho chuckles, his breath warm against your skin, goosebumps spreading across your skin. Minho flattens his tongue against your breast and licks slowly across your nipple. You gasp softly and moan again as he sucks your nipple into his mouth. He slowly licks and sucks on your bud, enjoying the sounds you make.
Jisung lowers his phone, watching more obviously, thankful that you can't see him. He jumps when he hears a knock at the door.
"I'll get it." He mumbles, standing up. Minho grunts and switches to your other nipple, licking and sucking on your skin. Your head falls back more as you grip his head under your shirt. Jisung goes to the door, trying to get his hard on to go away. He opens it, and it's the delivery driver. He pays for the food and gives a tip, taking the bags before shutting the door. He locks it and walks back out to the living room, setting the bags down on the coffee table.
"Food is here, hyung." He settles back in his chair. Minho let out a 'mm' as he was still in your shirt, ravaging your breasts. Jisung watches as he pulls the food out of the bags and sets them on the table. He scrunches his brows together when you moan out as Minho's nips your nipples. Minho lifts your shirt, uncovering your breasts before pulling his head away and recovering your chest. Jisung was able to get a nice view of your breasts because of that.
Jisung clears his throat and looks away as Minho carefully moves you off his lap, his shorts sporting a tent. He grabs your food and hands it to you, looking at Jisung, he grins and winks—knowing how it was affecting his best friend—before he grabs his own and sits back.
"So hyung, your birthday is in a few weeks." Jisung says, turning the TV on.
"Mhmm." Minho pops a piece of chicken in his mouth.
"There anything you want this year?"
"Mmm.." Minho thinks, swallowing his food. He grins mischievously. "There's is something I want. But only if kitten is ok with it." Jisung looks at Minho and raises an eyebrow.
"Anything for you, baby." You smile and eat your food.
"What is that, hyung?" Jisung slowly eats his food, trying to keep his eyes on the tv.
"Remember what I said back on your birthday?" Jisung furrows his eyebrows, gaze shifting to Minho. "I want to see you and kitten go at it. I honestly think that you and her need a good fuck together to get all that pent up anger out of you. Plus.." he looks at you, your chopsticks sitting in your mouth as you stare at him, eyes wide and brows raised. "I'd still love to see my baby girl get railed by my best friend." His dick twitches in his pants at the thought. Jisung coughs at the request and looks at you. You were still staring at Minho, a confused look now on your face.
"Hyung, I still don't think that'll help any." Jisung says as soon as he stops coughing. You look over at Jisung. The images of him kissing you weeks ago come back to you. That night genuinely confused you. Jisung didn't kiss you like he hated you. He seemed to enjoy it. As the memories come back to you, the tips of your ears start turning red, and you're thankful that you left your hair down.
"Just think about it. I won't force you guys to do it, obviously, but just think on it for me." He smiles and continues eating his food. Jisung's eyes flick to you then down to his food. You look back at Minho, questioning him. Minho smiles gently at you, leaning down to softly peck your lips. "Only if you're comfortable with it, kitten." He whispers, pecking your lips again. He smiles and steals a piece of your food before offering you a piece of his.
You all end the night after cleaning up, Jisung going to his own room for the night, finally taking care of his aching cock. You and Minho go to his room for a long love-making session before bed.
——
"Y/nnie?" Felix waves his hand in front of your face, pulling you from your thoughts. You hadn't realized you zoned out and it was already time for lunch.
"Hi, Felix. Yes?" You look up at the blonde.
"Changbin-hyung, Hyunjin and I were going to head out for lunch. Jising said he was eating here today, and we wanted to ask you if you were coming today." He smiles at you, his smile full of warmth.
"Oh, thank you Lixie, but I brought food today. I can come out tomorrow though?" You return the smile.
"Not a problem. You enjoy your lunch, ok?" He stands up straight and leaves the office, grabbing his jacket. You stand up and stretch, going to your office fridge to grab your food. Chan had mini kitchen areas put in each office to minimize food theft, which was a great idea in your opinion. Thankfully each office had space for it too.
You put your food in the microwave to warm it and take it to the couch in the office, usually used for customers to wait at. Just as you sat down, Jisung walks into the office, it seems he went to the building's cafeteria. He looks at you and nods a little, walking over to where you sat.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" He points to the chair opposite from you, the coffee table between you. You shrug, not like you really can stop him from sitting there. He sits down and opens his container of food. You both eat silently for a few minutes. "So, hyungs birthday is in a week." He chances a glance at you.
"Mhmm." You nod, not looking at him as you eat.
"I…I think we should do what he requested..for his birthday." He says softly. You stop mid bite and look at him. You chew your food and swallow.
"Really? Why? You hate my guts, I hate yours." You wipe your mouth with a napkin.
"I just want hyung happy. Don't you?" His eyebrows scrunch a little. His statement makes you go quiet for a bit.
"No, I do. But I don't know. Fucking you isn't something I've thought of doing." It was a lie. Since the kiss that one night, you've thought about it a few times, but you couldn't let him know that.
"I mean, same." Also a lie. "But if it makes him happy, I'm willing to do it. He's my best friend after all." You sigh and nod.
"Yeah. I want him happy too. So, yeah. Let's do it." You watch him. Jising was honestly really excited about it, but he tried not to show it. He gets up and moves over to the couch next to you.
"We should..we should practice a bit. Get more comfortable with each other since we have a week till the big day." He gingerly puts a hand on your knee.
"Nothing too far since we are at work." You look at him, being stern. He nods and moves closer to you, your legs touching. He reaches up and cups your cheek, looking you in the eyes, his gaze flicking to your lips and back. He slowly leans closer to you, his gaze back on your lips. You feel your neck and ears getting warm with a blush, his breath against your lips before he softly slots his lips with yours.
You move a hand up to his chest, his hands sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck. He deepens the kiss a bit, licking your lips softly. You hesitantly open your mouth and he immediately slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cherries again, and you're thinking it's the chapstick he uses. He slowly makes out with you, taking his time with his tongue in your mouth. He groans a little bit before he softly bites your lower lip.
He pulls away, looking into your eyes when you open them. You were both breathing a little hard and he pulls away completely, his cheeks a little red. You nod and turn back towards the table in front of you. You feel your cheeks burning with a blush creeping up your neck.
"We should..uh..finish our lunch before the rest of the team gets back, yeah?" Jisung says, grabbing his food. You just nod again and eat your food silently. You feel Jisung staring at you the rest of the work day. When Minho picks you two up, he tells you that he's going to drop you and Jisung off at the house, and that he has to run out for a few things, but he will be back in a few hours. You tell him to be careful and that you'll see him when he gets home. You exchange a kiss and a smile and you get out of the car, following Jisung inside the house.
You've never been at the house alone with Jisung before. Minho was always there. You go to the bathroom and remove your makeup before going to Minho's room to change. You put on a pair of your sleep shorts and one of Minho's oversized shirts again. You pad out to the kitchen to find something for dinner. Pulling out leftovers, you warm them up in the microwave. You don't hear Jisung walk in, as you were zoning out again. He stares at you for a moment before stepping up behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your neck, effectively startling you.
"What the fuck, Jisung?" You turn your head and bit to look at him, your eyebrows furrowed.
"Didn't mean to scare you, sorry." He mumbles against your neck. "Trying to get more comfortable again since we don't have to worry about our coworkers walking in." He kisses up your neck to under your ear, sending shivers down your spine.
"Just…give a warning next time, fuck." You close your eyes as he gently nips your skin. "No..no marks…not unless Minho says it's ok." You gasp out softly. Jisung just hums a confirmation.
"Can I..touch you?" He asks after a moment, gently squeezing your waist with his arms, fingers digging into your sides softly. You hesitate for a moment before nodding, letting out a whispered 'yes'. "I won't take anything off, I won't even look until Minho's birthday." He kisses across your neck again, sliding a hand to your breast. He gently squeezes your clothed breast, feeling your nipple start to harden through the fabric. He whispers 'so soft' against your neck, making you shiver again.
You bring a hand up to his head, gently gripping his hair as you lean back against his chest, he presses himself against you. Your cheeks flush when you feel his cock against your ass. He moves his head to the other side of your neck and starts leaving wet, open mouthed kisses along your warm skin. You let out soft, quiet moans, feeling his hands slide down your body to under the shirt you wear. His hands feel cool against your skin as he trails his hands up to your breasts. You physically shiver against him and he chuckles. Jisung gently cups your breasts, his breath shudders against you at the same time you gasp.
He quietly groans against your neck. He is resisting the urge to bite and mark you, as much as he wants to, he wants to respect your decision. Just as he starts to massage your breasts, the microwave beeps, indicating your food is done. It pulls you both back to where you are. Jisung pulls away, pulling his hands off you and stepping back. You shiver at the loss of his warmth.
"You should uh..you should eat. I'm going to um..I'm gonna go shower." Jisung mumbles out behind you before he turns and quickly leaves the kitchen. You stand in the same spot, cheeks and neck flushed. You blink a few times before stepping towards the microwave to grab your food. You sit at the kitchen island and eat. You clean up and sit in the living room, watching tv until Minho gets back. He greets you with a smile and you smile back. He holds up a bag from a store that sells expensive alcohol.
"Decided to get some for my birthday." He laughs out and goes to put everything away. You get up and follow him, helping to put things in their place. Jisung had finished his shower and went back to his room to get dressed. Once everything is put away, Minho turns to face you, a smile across his face. He picks you up and gently sits you on the counter, now having to look up at you.
"How was work today, kitten? Jisung didn't cause any trouble for you?" He steps between your legs, placing his hands on your hips. You shake your head, just as Jisung steps into the kitchen.
"When do I ever cause trouble, hyung?" He runs his fingers through his slightly damp hair, opening the fridge. He was shirtless again, just wearing a pair of gray sweatpants low on his hips.
"All the time." You retort. "But no, he's been…pretty good at work." You play with your boyfriend's hair.
"What about while I was gone?" He looks towards his friend, whose head was still in the fridge.
"He was…ok. Didn't cause too much trouble." Your boyfriend laughs at that, turning back to you. He leans forward and softly starts kissing your throat. Jisung grabs some food out of the fridge, shutting the door before going to the microwave. Jisung looks at you then at Minho before looking at the microwave.
"Hyung?" He puts his food in to warm.
"Mhmm?" Minho kisses around your neck, kissing your jaw.
"Y/n and I..we thought about what you said. About what you wanted for your birthday." He watches his food spin in the machine.
"Mhmm." Minho gently bites the crook of your neck, making you moan softly, leaving a small hickey there. You don't catch it, but Jisung's cock twitches in his pants.
"We both decided that..we will do it for you. We both want you happy, and if this makes you happy, then we will." Jisung turns around a bit, so his growing bulge won't be visible.
"I want you guys to do this too, because you want to." Minho bites your skin again. "Don't do it solely for my sake." He starts to slide his hands up your borrowed shirt, making you shiver. Jisung just hums out an 'ok'.
"I'm going to go eat in my room. I'll see you both in the morning." Jisung grabs his food from the microwave and goes back to his room, not shutting the door all the way. Minho slips the shirt off you, looking you over, just marveling at you. You smile at him, watching his eyes trail across you. He starts to tug at your shorts, pulling them and your panties off when you lift your hips.
"Gonna fuck you right here, kitten. Missed your pussy all day." He pulls you towards the edge of the counter. He undoes his pants, pulling them and his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free. He groans when the cool air hits his shaft. He slides one hand between your legs, slipping two fingers into your cunt, smirking at how wet you are. You close your eyes and moan out. He slowly starts to finger you, pumping his cock with his other hand. He pulls his fingers out and puts his tip at your entrance.
"You ready for me, kitten?" He slips his tip into you.
"Y-yes, baby." You wrap your legs around his hips as he slides into you slowly.
"So nice and warm for me.." he mumbles as he slides his length into you. He kisses you deeply once he bottoms out. "My good little kitten." He whispers against your lips. You shiver and moan his name softly. He chuckles. Holding your hips, he slowly starts to thrust into you. You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning his name out again. He leans down and sucks on your neck again. Picking up the pace of his hips, he grinds into you, his cock rubbing against your clit at the angle he grinds in at.
You gasp and arch your back, the knot in your belly tightens quickly. You moan out as you clench around Minho. He grins and chuckles against your neck. He sucks on your neck, fucking into you hard and deep.
"My good little kitten. Such a good girl." He leaves a large hickey on your collarbone. You arch your back and moan his name loud as you cum, clenching hard around Minho's cock. He groans against your neck as he thrusts deep once more before cumming in you. He thrusts into you a few more times as he empties inside you. You lay your head on his shoulder and breathe hard. Minho gently rubs your sides, hips and thighs, your legs still wrapped around him as he was still buried deep inside you.
"How about a shower, kitten? Get you all nice and clean." Minho peppers your shoulder with soft feather-like kisses. You nod and let out a soft 'mhmm'. He smiles and gently picks you up off the counter as you tighten your grip on him. He grabs your laundry off the counter and walks out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom. Just as Minho passes Jisung's door, the younger one opens it to bring his dishes out. Minho winks at him, holding you close to his chest.
Jisung's cheeks flush a bit when he notices you're naked. Your boyfriend enters the bathroom with you and sits you on the sink, your eyes closed as you were tired. He starts the shower and Jisung watches for a moment, looking both you and Minho over before he goes to the kitchen. Once the shower is ready, Minho undresses and picks you up again, stepping in with you. Jisung goes back to his room, another tent in his pants. Once Minho cleans you up, he washes himself up before getting you both ready for bed. You cuddle up to him and fall asleep quickly.
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pixlokita · 25 days ago
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Can I be real honest and admit how much it saddens me that Instagram doesn’t even let me check if my friends or mutuals liked a post or story without slapping me with “insights” and how good or bad I’m doing regarding my content. I? Don’t care? God forbid I just want to share drawings or funny stories just for the heck of it . why does everything have to be about your account’s performance.
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crookedfivefingers · 2 months ago
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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb
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