#I just genuinely don't see the issue with a woman being a bit cringe about a feminist concept she doesn't quite grasp

[pillarsalt]

Gonna be honest, maybe I'm missing something, but this doesn't seem like a big deal to me. She's saying she supports 4B, not that she's somehow participating while still married to a man. You're all going to be very disappointed if you expect every normie hetero woman who learns about 4B to immediately get a divorce from the husband she obviously loves lol, no matter how corny and delusional you think she is about it.

[inqilabi]

I loved Love is Blind originally for the cringe. But it's honestly such a great commentary on gender relations. I don't really watch any other reality TV shows so I don't know if this is common in other love/relationship type of reality shows.

But some of the themes I've noticed and I love to talk about these with men specifically:

- two season have had a woman ruin relationship over her own insecurity. I remember Zanab originally came across as the man making her insecure. But when you continue watching it you realize that she's letting her body image issues / eating disorder issues guide the way she sees the relationship. Especially that clementine clip that she built up all the way to the reunion. Yes Cole wasn't good at soothing her issues. But she is a grown woman now she has to work on her issues and communicate that. Like this was the first time I actually felt bad for the man

- in the current season, Chelsea did a whole pickme thing where she realizes that Jimmy is into Jessica. And Chelsea knows what Jessica looks like. She is connecting with Trevor better. But JUST in order to win over Jessica/her looks/to get picked over a woman who looks like jessica, she tells that pink caryon looking dude that she looks like Megan Fox. So that he would pick her over. For Chelsea this was like, she won one over. And then the rest of the relationship is ruined because of this. And she even tells the guy he's the hottest guy on the beach etc cos she wants that kind of comments in return which he is not giving. The rest of it is on him ofc cos he's not into her. So he's disrespecting her which in return is creating more insecurity for her

- clocking matt as crazy just from those eyes even though Jessica got the crazy edit in which season that was. Like he just doesn't come across off as a genuine person even though with his words he's saying things like "I love and respect you Jessica. I learned so much from you" etc

Ofc all of this is speculation of the inner workings but I 💯 feel like that's what was going through Chelsea's mind

I find this kind of stuff interesting and funny. Guessing what someone's internal motivations are based on their behavior

There's someone on tiktok that was doing a joke about LiB. It's a dude explaining to his guy friend who doesn't watch it, all the connections and who likes whom. And this guy tells him, oh Chelsea picked Jimmy over Trevor. And the other guy goes, "oh she picks someone who isn't sure about her over a guy who is sure about her. I am now certain she doesn't look like Megan Fox". And I went 😮 at this man's ability to read this woman Chelsea who he hasn't even seen or observed cos he didn't watch the show.

Because yes you can absolutely read people or their state of mind based on their behaviours, particularly if their behaviors are incongruent with what they are saying they are or portraying themselves to be.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I get told a fair bit that I'm a good read on people. And especially when I talk about my dating life and being able to discern qualities in men that I want. E.g. whether they watch porn or not.

[lindszeppelin]

Linds… ugggggggh. Just ugh. I’m about thisclose to losing my shit. I agree with you on the Cabo pix and it’s absolutely disturbing to see him AGAIN hiding under a towel.

I’m distressed that he is not more distanced from this group and my patience is running thin. I wish I could completely shut out Austin’s non-work related images and info. But honestly there’s no way.

I have some musings about the situationship status — that (full disclosure) have no basis in knowledge or reality. It’s just the crap rolling around in my head. Anyway…

We have discussed the complex elements he was navigating in his personal and professional life as this arrangement was orchestrated. I wonder if he has conflated his own increased level of fame/attention due to his work with the amount of exposure he has by being associated with them. I mean maybe he doesn’t see it as a “Gerber” problem but mistakenly thinks it’s mostly due to his own fame. Like they would be able to live a more private life if not for HIM.

I find it hard to believe a man in his 30s who grew up in Hollywood would be that naive. But maybe his good heartedness has blinded him a bit to their ways.

AND/OR

He’s 100% not interested in a life partnership at this time and this will do for now so why bother breaking up with K and drawing down all the associated drama when he clearly invests minimal emotional capital in her anyway. It’s a great idea except for the downside that she/this tarnishes his image. But he is likely unaware of that part. And maybe no one whose opinion matters to him actually cares.

I don’t know.

This is what my brain resorts to because I fucking can’t stand STILL seeing him associated with her. It’s like pairing filet mignon with funyuns.

What is wrong with me??? Why why whyyyyyyy do I waste my time/energy on this????

Thanks for being there bestie! Thank god I’m not alone.

haha MJ I adore you so much, and i love your analogy of filet mignon and funyuns.

but i first wanna say that the reason why you or us can't stop thinking about this no matter how hard we want to just support austin's work and not want to be forced to see the cringe shit about his situationship is because we clearly see it for what it is. if he was with the woman of his dreams that he loved, we would support him and we would invest a lot less time musing over it because well...there would be no issues with said relationship to be concerned about. as women, we have the deeply intuitive knowing that SOMETHING IS WRONG and the problem is not being corrected. it's being left to corrode. plus, we care about him and so we worry. just like any person in our lives that we love, we worry and our brains can't help but get drawn to it and hope that they're okay. same applies here. so, you're not crazy for thinking about this or putting energy into it. we would not be here if he was in a truly loving relationship that was fucking obvious to the entire world. we would applaud him and wish him the best and have peace of mind. this situationship disturbs the peace because it is not right.

but secondly, i think the latter of your theories is where my money goes, if i was a gambling woman lol. she is a "here for the moment" chick, not "wife material". minimal investment, not wanting to deal with the litany of press and media about a huge breakup announcement. he's probably still traumatized from how the media has taken and spun the vanessa breakup so i don't blame him for being a little scared. but what we know is that kaia is not his forever. men that are serious about their intentions on a woman will waste no time, and will not only show their genuine interests for a woman but they will make plans and they will settle down faster. it happens all the time. my parents got engaged after 6 damn months and they're still together after decades of marriage. he clearly is not ready at this time for marriage and she is too young for that serious commitment. so, low investment and probably biding his time waiting for the right time and the right woman for him to drop this gerber baby.

he's a smart man, he would not propose to a 22 year old girl like this is 1942. he just got out of a 10 year relationship not long ago. men don't jump ship like that so soon. it's gonna take him time to be ready for that serious commitment. and men take a lot longer to be truly ready for marriage before women are anyway. he is focusing on his career before settling down, clearly, as he has stated a lot that he is career focused.

but i'll end this by just reinstating that the cabo pics from last christmas and after the award season this year were vastly different in tone compared to this christmas. he was out and about the last two times, yes he had a towel on his head once, but generally he was seen pictured outside. this time he was seemingly hiding away in the resort, left by himself and not wanting to be seen by the paps with her or her family. alarm bells ring off. if this man has to practically quarantine away on what is supposed to be a vacation then it seems like he's at the end of this rope. also, what man that had a 2 year anniversary with their girlfriend act like that? a man that doesn't give a damn about her. he never did this with vanessa, not even once. he was proud to be around her, and if the paps came around when he didn't want them around then he protected her first from the cameras, using himself as a shield. but the towel over his head in cabo is different. how much more he is willing to take before enough is enough is up to him, but this felt like a desperate attempt to be by himself. and if kaia was the one, she would never put her man in that position out on the beach to be readily papped when she knows he doesn't like it.

and no bestie you're not alone <3

[finalshaper]

im gonna have this post tagged appropriately (obviously) so filter tags if you need to, it's also not in the main tags for this reason, but I need to be a bit serious here for a second, on my own post. I'm gonna openly talk abt my mental health and some struggles, so if ur sensitive of those things mind the tags. this might not make sense because I'm very emotionally charged rn.

you probably know me as cayde. yeah that's me. I'm 18 going on 19 in may, and I've struggled with severe mental health issues on and off for as long as i can remember. severe anxiety, being a social outcast, etc etc. My home life wasn't also the prettiest. So yeah, I'm fucked up. But aren't we all in our own way? Anyways.

My fucked upness was a result of the school environment I grew up in, where I was mistreated both by teachers and peers alike. I've mostly missed the window for developing some essential social skills, on top of being neurodivergent. and it's still something I'm struggling with to this day.

on top of that and because of all the bullying i incurred i became incredibly suicidal. while the bullying has stopped as I've been out of high school for almost a year now, but the on-and-off waves of intense suicidal thoughts and ideation hasn't faded. primarily because of. well. this is something i had to deal with for the brunt of my life. so you can probably assume why i was still dealing with the aftermath.

it was also the fact i was struggling to come out to my parents, even though it's gonna be 3 years since i came out as of June. even tho i came out my parents are still struggling to adjust, which is understandable, and my mom is actively trying to shelter me from all the bad of being trans.

which, i don't blame her, one of my uncle Michael's (gay) friends (trans woman) was beaten to death on the side of the road and she has a pink triangle over where it happened. even though it was decades ago some things never change. and America is a perfect example.

I went from being suicidal for the bullying i was victim to, to suicidal because of the stuff i was experiencing for and about being trans. and in recent days it's been worse than it's ever been, all the shit that's all over my tiktok page isn't helping. I've been considering detransitioning just for my safety. it's hard, in other words.

now. destiny comes into my life sometime in august because of one of my friends. i start playing it, i get invested. the story gripped me, spoke to me deeply, etc etc. and it started helping me. destiny quickly became my safe space, I've started to get over my social ineptitude, and i find myself turning to it during these times of hardship.

and then there's certain quotes, certain elements. "You are alive, Guardian. Fight like it." Even something as small as Drifer saying, "I'm proud of you," or Shaxx and his "I SAID RELAX!" or that one line from paper fortune in d1 -- "When all is lost, you are still a Guardian, and you are still enough."

I've given myself a one-year time limit to live, because of the active genocide against trans people on top of everything else. I've got 364 days left. and after that, if I'm not too lazy, I'm gone. i just want to be around long enough to see the final shape, I'm holding onto destiny like a lifeline. maybe I'll save myself over this year. maybe not.

but then i see things like the aforementioned quote. and how someone said to me, "We already lost one Cayde. we're not losing another." and that alone is enough to make me reconsider my 364-day time limit. Folding was never an option. And i reconsider.

this game is saving my life. it's silly, it's stupid, it might be cringe, you can make fun of me and compare me to that one south park episode about world of warcraft i was exposed to against my will on the aforementioned clock app. but this game is genuinely stopping me from killing myself (which I'm surprised i didn't earlier but then again I'm so done i just cant be bothered). and that has to amount to something.

this game makes me feel bigger, stronger than my illnesses. stronger than my struggles. a broken sense of hope. and it's teaching me to lean back on others. to let people in. I'm haunted, but i can be strong. i can be better. I'm not thriving, but I'm surviving, and that's what matters.

and i wonder if the ppl behind this game know that this is the effect they're having. a severely mentally ill stunted kid is healing and growing through their game. I'm getting strength. i wont say I'm getting my strength back because i never had that strength to begin with. but I'm learning that strength.

this game is saving me.

[disquiet-dream]

Every time people start arguing again about the terms tma/tme I'm always - well first of all I'm annoyed, because I'm someone who was originally against the terms and have since come around, so like I get it but I can't help but cringe a bit, but I'm also always like… How do I put this…

It's strange to me that the portion of transfem tumblr who are heavily invested in this terminology the the portion who get really really mad at people identifying as femboys is like, pretty heavily overlapping?

Because like, I see people complain about tma/tme by talking about the literal meanings of the terms, i.e. The whole "well, everyone is affected by transmisogyny" argument, and I do get where that comes from, I just don't… Care.

Because no terminology is perfect y'know? I see it basically the same way I see "PoC", it's far from perfect, but it does articulate something meaningful - there are people who are the primary targets of a form of bigotry and people who are incidental targets. Like, an italian-american might get some racism thrown at them - and that does genuinely suck! I'm not discounting that! - but they don't suffer the same structural issues that impact your entire life, so there is a difference here.

(I also like PoC as a comparison point just because like. One of the issues there is also the literal meaning being kinda off - I used an Italian as the example there because a lot of Italians do have skin as dark as a lot of PoC groups, and there are of course "PoC" groups that aren't literally "People of Color", in the sense that they don't actually have dark skin, but they're obviously included.)

(That's not the biggest issue mind - the bigger one is that the whole framework doesn't really work in much of the world (on some level literally just ''outside the US", even), and trying to apply it there immediately causes issues - but it is an issue!)

But anyway, to wrap back around to my original point: while I do think the terminology is useful, I do agree with one point I've seen that's like, "if tma just means transfem why don't you just say transfem?"

Because like… I mean honestly yeah, I don't get the point either then lol. Like, the whole reason I like the term is because it implicitly acknowledges that there are people who are affected directly by transmisogny - and who's interests are aligned with those of trans women because of that, whether they recognize it or not - but don't neatly fit into "trans woman" or even "transfem".

Like, large amounts of amab nonbinary people (i'd argue most if not all tbh), quite a few intersex people, drag queens (''drag bans'' might be intended to attack trans women, but they choose to do it through queens for a reason!), and - the reason for this post - a whole lot of self-identified femboys!

These are all categories that to me are like, yeah of course those are tma. Like, they're not the same as transfems (although there's of course an overlap) nor are they treated identically, but they're subject to the same broad societal hatred in a structural way.

(With that said, I do think the like, image I have of ''femboy'' as a concept isn't the same as people who get mad about it. Although I of course think mine is the more accurate one.

Because I tend to think of what I guess i'd call "lifestyle femboys", which is to say people who present femme as often as is safe (and sometimes even when not), consider being feminine a core part of their identity, may even be on or wish to be on HRT, etc.

Basically, people who in terms of action are clearly on the same wavelength as most transfems, even if they're using different terminology, to the point where imo it's obviously ridiculous to act like they aren't subject to the same forces, even before you get into the ones who y'know, do just identify as both transfem/trans woman and femboy.)

(I'd argue the kind of femboy I'm implicitly contrasting against, who only does it privately and like, as a hobby rather than a lifestyle, is also often affected - if nothing else there's probably a reason it's by default a private thing, eh? Probably the same reason a lot of transfems only present femme in private… - but I at least consider that more ambigious.)

So y'know, if only there were a word for that hatred. And perhaps some sort of supercategory we could use to include everyone affected by this phenomenon. Who can say…

[heightjoke]

gender is weird bc at its core I am furious that anyone is seeing me as anything different than what I am based on whatever gender they think I am.

what I am though I don't know. the closest i got was Agender or Autigender.

I've done a lot of gender study and feminist theory and research into queer history.

to be honest it just confirmed the ideas I had about gender already. i did learn new stuff though ofc.

people call me a woman or girl and depending on the day I get offended by it, but often it feels cringe to be like "um actually ☝️🤓" and then in future sentences I'll refer to myself as a woman.

I don't wanna seem like a cis woman trying to be different or quirky.

I genuinely have a strained relationship with gender. The same way I'm on the asexual spectrum. It feels tied to my autism, sure, but when I experiment with gendered presentations of myself it can feel ~weird~. That goes for either way, any gender presentation.

it also feels like it's such a non-issue to talk about with people because they're like "well if you're fine being you and that has no label then just do that and stop ruminating"

But they assume it is troubling me, which is the first mistake - it is perplexing me, and I want to understand *now*. That's the troubling bit- I'm impatient.

I have this a lot. people assume I am frustrated or upset when I'm just trying to understand or I'm just passionate and trying to share that passion, but because I'm asking questions out loud, or adding more of my thoughts during conversation, they think I am demanding the answer off them.

tangent aside, it's weird and on my mind a lot.

do I feel gender dysphoria? I don't think so..? I'm not aiming for any of them ..

but do I really like it when people refer to me in a way that's like "oh that's just [my name]"

yes??

like "it's her" but it's not her I'm not she but I am but I'm totally not?

I kind of wish that pronouns didnt have to exist for me but I hate the idea of changing something I'm familiar with like that (autism, I guess)

The one consistent thing I've had since childhood, is I've felt uncomfortable with my name, but more uncomfortable with a name I chose, or if someone was to start using a new one.

I've always enjoyed multiple nicknames though.

I'm not just [my name], I'm peeper, I'm stompz, I'm heightjoke, I'm lady (this one is a complicated one).

I'm lady because its said gently and with care by my partner. like the way it's used for a ship. but not in an ownership way. not anything against that. it's just. I'm lady.

what has this garbled gender tangent turned into

imagine enjoying having nicknames and wanting to be seen as who you really are lmao idkbshdjkd

[xansmenagerie]

Sibling Rivalries

Mel again, part of the playbook change backstories. This one is "special item - skeleton key" - it's also how she really first came across magic and how nasty it can be...

"Wait, did you really just say that last bit?" Muse asked suspiciously, "Because it sounded quite a lot like 'Hi guys, I just took out a contract on your behalf to steal something from my mother.'"

"Is there a problem with that, Muse?" Crystal was very genteelly cleaning her fingernails with a very small - and from Muse's personal experience extremely sharp - pearl-handled knife, but after all these years Muse was used to this sort of posturing from her girlfriend.

"Let's see, what possibly could be the issue with stealing from Madame Adora Hackett, wife of crime boss Gerald Hackett, the woman who literally wrote the book on some of our techniques and about whom there are cautionary tales about what happens to people who get on her bad side that the writers of the Saw franchise would consider 'a bit extreme'? Fidget, Oyster, Lanky Dave, am I missing something here?" Muse didn't often raise her voice if she could help it, but by the end it was an effort of will not to shout.

"She's not wrong, Crystal," Fidget spoke up; he promptly cringed back under the older woman's death glare. Muse caught Oyster stopping himself moving protectively in his direction and bit back a smile.

Crystal turned the glare on Muse. "Does it matter? It's a done deal, anyway, it would do our reputation no good to back out now - and think of the reputation we will gain when we pull it off."

"As if we'd be stupid enough to tell anyone it was us," Lanky Dave muttered, moving sideways as he spoke to hide behind Oyster.

Muse sighed. "Just…tell me Courage didn't put you up to this?"

Crystal glanced away.

"Oh, Crystal…" Muse couldn't help the frustration creeping into her voice. "Look, I know you're upset that your father's handing the business over to him despite you being older, but this is too much."

"This. Isn't. About. That." Crystal spat out each word in a rare public display of temper, the knife suddenly still in a way that suggested it could move very quickly indeed at short notice.

Muse held her ground. "Crystal, please…how would we even do this, anyway? If we try to ghost in, your mother certainly has plans in place for that, and there isn't a big enough distraction in the world to catch her off her guard."

The sudden triumphant smile from Crystal gave Muse instant forebodings. "Oh, there is. You're going to need to get your best suit cleaned, darling, as I think it's time you finally met my parents in a more intimate setting."

Muse was consumed by immediate deer-in-the-headlights panic.

Crystal leaned over and patted her hand, secure in her victory. "Don't worry, it's just a nice family dinner already arranged, Courage will be there too. All you have to do is be your best charming self, maybe do a bit of inside prep work, and let the boys take care of the rest."

The dinner was almost exactly as painful as Muse expected it was going to be. She was pleasantly surprised and relieved at the lack of personal questions - her family and so on - until she realised that the Hacketts had simply assumed that anything said on the matter would be a lie and simply weren't bothering to ask. Of course, they knew that Muse had started her association with Crystal as her chauffeur, so perhaps they had also decided that it would be embarrassing to bring up that their daughter was dating a menial. It was probably for the best; she was already working under an assumed name, so adding an assumed family on top of that would only complicate matters.

It was the first time Muse had met Courage, Crystal's younger brother, in any capacity, and the little blonde bit he had on his arm was either a stunning actress or genuinely the only innocent at the table. Rosa, introduced as a 'budding model', was, as far as Muse could tell, actually quite a nice person; for all that she had manners closer to that of the Hacketts than Muse could manage, she was also saying thank you to the serving staff, and made interested contributions to all of the conversation. Under other circumstances Muse probably would have enjoyed getting to know her better - just as a friend.

As it was, while Muse was doing her best, having to concentrate on both being witty and charming and on which cutlery to use when was draining, especially given she was clearly on an uphill struggle for acceptance with Crystal's father. Crystal's mother was more considerate, specifically drawing Muse into the conversation, and that was possibly more worrying - Muse wasn't sure how much she was keeping her feelings off her face and didn't dare any of them slipping out in the circumstances.

It was almost something of a relief when during the third course one of the security staff walked over to Gerald Hackett's chair and said something quietly in his ear. Crystal's father, in turn, leaned over to Adora and murmured in her ear; Crystal's mother frowned the smallest of frowns, her mouth a moue of disapproval.

"Courage, Charity," she said in no-nonsense tones as she stood up, "Perhaps you might like to show Rosa and Persefoni the long gallery as a break between courses? I'm afraid Mummy's got some unexpected business to attend to."

Muse was admittedly impressed at how swiftly Courage stood up and did her best to emulate him, pulling Crystal's seat out for her a scant beat after he pulled out Rosa's. She offered her arm to Crystal as formally as possible, earning her an amused look from her girlfriend and an approving one from Adora.

The two women graciously allowed Courage to lead the way with Rosa, although as soon as they were out of the dining room Muse and Crystal started whispering sweet nothings to each other. They waited until they were at the gallery itself to drop back a little and gain a little privacy, using a nook by an urn to justify slightly more heated behaviour.

Muse kept her tone light and teasing as she murmured in Crystal's ear, "So much for 'the boys will be fine' - tell me there's an extraction plan?"

"There is…they shouldn't have needed it, but they should make it out in one piece," Crystal hummed back, her smile almost reaching her eyes.

Muse relaxed a touch out of relief but noticed the almost concealed discomfort. She took the opportunity to nibble on Charity's ear, barely noting the sound of a deliberate scoff - did people really do that in real life? - from further down the gallery. "What aren't you telling me, darling?"

Crystal pulled Muse towards her, foreheads touching. Her lips barely moving. "If they were caught this early there may be…complications. And they certainly won't have achieved the objective."

"Oh, for goodness…" Muse couldn't help the quiet harumph. "And tonight was meant to be my night off as well."

Crystal's eyes shone like her nickname. "What do you need, lover?"

"As much of a distraction as you think you can make for Fidget and Oyster, please, that should give me room to work too." Muse wrinkled her nose fondly. "Yes, I am giving you permission to seduce Rosa loudly if that's what it comes to, although don't get too carried away and don't break her."

"You really are the best girlfriend," Crystal declared, allowing her voice to rise just a little and catch Courage's attention. Muse couldn't help but look smug. Crystal dropped her voice again, "You know where you're going? And you still have that locket I gave you?"

"Yes, and yes although I'd be happier if I knew why you were insisting on it so hard," Muse replied, watching Courage and Rosa covertly through the side of her eyes.

"Just humour me, okay?" Crystal batted her eyelashes.

"Don't I always?" Muse skipped back just fast enough to avoid a pinch for being cheeky, then moved aside to let Crystal get to work. She leaned back against the wall, listening with eyes closed as Crystal's heels thudded away down the carpet with the staccato of incipient mischief, plotting her route in her head and smiling fondly to herself.

Once Crystal was out of earshot Muse moved, slowly and casually. Her first touch point was a bathroom on the floor above - just about close enough to plausibly be somewhere to 'powder her nose' - and from there she could work her way up to Adora's private study. There were going to be locks to work through but, perhaps not so surprisingly, no cameras; the Hacketts weren't inclined to do anything that might be used as evidence against themselves at a later date, after all.

She walked as a slightly lost tourist might, examining paintings and statues as she went and mumbling directions as though trying to remember them, all the while devoutly hoping that Fidget and Oyster were making a clean getaway wherever in the building they were.

The bathroom door ahead of her opened; Courage stepped out. "You're taking your sweet time about this," he said with cool amusement, "From everything Charity's said about you I was expecting you to have purloined all the silverware and be halfway home by now."

Muse remembered belatedly that Courage had been the one who pushed Crystal into this stupid dare of a contract. "Personally," she replied, watching his face carefully, "I was just here to meet my future in-laws and enjoy my dinner."

Courage scowled. "You can't really think that you'd be allowed to have anything more than a fling with my sister, can you?" He stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm, hard enough to bruise. "A nameless no-account whose only redeeming feature is that she can keep Charity quiet for five minutes, which is more than anyone else can manage-"

Although he hadn't realised it, Courage had made two fatal errors. The first was that he'd insulted Crystal; the second that he'd let Muse get into kicking distance.

Strictly speaking, beating people up was Oyster's job, but that didn't mean Muse couldn't handle herself in a fight if she really had to. She did hope that Rosa had other options for the evening as from the noise Courage made and the truly satisfying way he'd folded over and curled up on the carpet he probably wasn't going to be providing her with much entertainment for at least a couple of days. For good measure she broke his nose as well, purely to prove a point, although she did regret it a little when he turned out to be a bleeder.

"Drat. You know, I liked the pattern on this one," she said as she pulled the pocket square out of the top of her jacket. She very deliberately wiped her knuckles on one edge of it then refolded and replaced it in its pocket, the blood hidden at the bottom. "Charity will appreciate the souvenir though. Good evening, Courage." She stepped over him and carried on up the corridor, outwardly confident even if inside she was already calculating the manoeuvres she and Crystal would need to make to prevent retaliation.

Muse picked up the pace; from this point on there was no way she could claim innocence for being in the wrong place, especially once she used one of the servants' stairs hidden behind a decorative panel. Plus, with the best will in the world, while she had every confidence that Crystal could provide a distraction there would still be a time limit before her parents realised it was staged; best to get the theft over and done with quickly and get back to safety before that could happen.

The study was exactly where she expected it to be from Crystal's directions, built into what had been a turret before extensions and renovations surrounded it on all sides. No windows, thick external brickwork a shell around the room; it didn't make it impenetrable by any means, but it certainly made it much harder to use any entrance other than the heavily locked door.

'Thank goodness for underwires,' Muse thought, quickly unbuttoning her jacket and shirt to get to her bra; she'd anticipated the pat-down on arrival at the house, and while she wasn't meant to be getting involved she did always feel underdressed without at least one pick these days, so while it was a terrible novel cliché she'd had made certain adjustments to her underwear to accommodate an emergency set. The smaller, more flexible picks were harder to use, inclined to bend where she really needed them to be stiff, but it couldn't have taken her much longer than normal before the lock clicked open. She ghosted inside and pulled the door to behind her, relying on the torch on her phone for light.

True to the turret it had been the study was close to circular, with shelves and cupboards and a desk built to fit it exactly. Even the carpet featured circles, rings within rings with patterns between them. The target was an otherwise innocuous cupboard built into the desk itself; rather than a key lock, it required a sequence of various concealed buttons to be pressed in the correct order and rhythm, including one that was coated in a contact poison and another that would trigger a needle into an unsuspecting forearm if held too long.

Muse sighed. It was going to be incredibly obvious that this was an inside job, given the intricacies of the mechanism, and also Fidget was going to be extremely envious as this sort of nonsense was what he lived for. She carefully tucked Crystal's locket into her bra to keep it out the way and got to work.

The last button pressed, Muse held her breath - and gently released it a moment later as she heard the catch release and saw the cupboard door swing ajar. The next breath caught in her throat as something moved through the gap, one moment smoke and the next solid, a tentacle reaching out for her. She stumbled backwards with a yelp, knocking over her phone; with most of the light gone, now she could see the patterns on the carpet glowing faintly purple. That was more than enough; Muse rolled to her feet and lunged for the door, only to find to her horror that she bounced off an invisible wall that followed the line of the patterns.

Something cold and clinging closed around her ankle, knocking her over and pulling her back towards the desk. She reached and tried to pull the creature off her but her hands went straight through its substance. Resisting had been a bad move; more smokey tentacles poured out of a space nowhere near large enough for them and started wrapping around her, the coldness spreading up her legs and latching onto one of her hands when she didn't move it out the way fast enough.

Muse wasn't screaming, but only because not making a noise while working was so ingrained by now.

It was getting harder to struggle, both from the tentacles holding her in place and the cold seeping into her muscles, and while she really didn't want to know what would happen if they reached her face there wasn't much she could do but watch in panic while trying to grab her phone. There was just enough light for her to see one of the tentacles reach the locket, pause, then continue working up towards her throat.

Muse whimpered, the sound forced out of her by pure fear. The cold was getting into her ribcage now, the tentacles starting to constrict her breathing. Her questing fingers caught the edge of her phone but she couldn't get a grip on it.

Another tentacle brushed against her jacket pocket. Abruptly all of them stopped moving; a heartbeat later and they dissolved into smoke again, whipping back into the cupboard and out of sight.

Muse lay on the carpet panting, still caught in deer-in-the-headlights panic, until her inner voice broke through loudly enough to point out that whatever had just happened was almost certainly going to have attracted some sort of attention and she had a job to do. Slowly, making sure of every muscle before moving it, she pulled herself up onto hands and knees, rescued her phone, and reluctantly crawled over to the cupboard. She steeled herself and opened the door fully.

There was a distinct lack of tentacle creatures made of smoke inside, although there was a worrying little wooden carving with a suggestion of tentacle that Muse resolved to avoid touching in the slightest.

More importantly, there were the labelled boxes. One for Courage and one for Crystal. Muse carefully opened the one for Courage; inside, in little padded wells, was a complete set of baby teeth, and tucked into a clip in the lid was what had to be a first lock of baby hair.

Mel slipped a condom packet out of her jacket inner pocket, extracted the condom and parcelled the canines in it. She'd chosen her hairstyle well tonight; it was pretty easy to hide such a small container in the bun. After a moment's thought she picked out a second condom packet and repeated the process with Crystal's baby teeth, adding one of her own hairs to show which was which.

There was another box, unlabelled; Muse couldn't help herself. Inside there was a key of sorts wrapped in a silk handkerchief - it had no teeth, only a bare shaft, and she desperately hoped it was made of ivory. Out of sheer relieved pettiness she snitched it and the handkerchief as well, although lacking any better hiding places that had to go down the side of her boot.

Muse tidied up as best as she could and closed the cupboard again. The markings on the carpet faded out as the lock clicked; she got slowly to her feet and approached the door, this time meeting no resistance. After listening for anyone outside Muse slipped out of the horrible, horrible study, closing and locking the door behind her. She put the picks away properly and buttoned up her shirt and jacket again with trembling hands; she knew that she was going to look mussed at best and a fright at worst, but in the circumstances she just wanted to get out of the house no matter what.

She distracted herself as she made her way back to the dining room by working out her cover story, one where she could turn her fear into a credible impression of anger. Muse entered to the sound of a fine old argument going on; Rosa looked about as mussed as Muse did, only a lot more embarrassed. Crystal was also mussed and not in the least bit embarrassed about the situation, a fact she was explaining loudly and at length to her father. Happily Courage hadn't made it back downstairs just yet…

"Charity, you would not believe what your brother just tried-" Muse said loudly and aggrievedly as she walked through the door, cutting off in apparent surprise at there being more of an audience than intended. She darkened her expression as she took in the now cringing Rosa and the smug Crystal.

"I see." She kept her voice flatly neutral as best as she could, but it was still enough to get a raised eyebrow from Crystal.

Deliberately not looking at Crystal, Muse walked up to Gerald and Adora. "Sir, ma'am, I do apologise," she said in her politest tones, "I've come down with a headache and feel it might be best for me to go home."

Crystal's parents glanced at each other; Adora nodded. "You are, of course, welcome to stay in a guest room overnight, but…yes, going home might be for the best."

"Thank you." Muse forced a smile and gave a small bow before walking out of the room, heading for the front door. A few minutes later she heard the staccato of Crystal's heels behind her; without saying a word to her girlfriend Muse simply led the way back to the car, politely opening and closing the door for Crystal. She drove them out of the gates and into the night, still silent, her knuckles a livid scar across the arc of the steering wheel.

Crystal showed remarkable restraint and waited until they were well away from the house before cracking into an excited smile. "Well? Did you get them?"

"Charity." Muse was impressed at herself for just how much she wasn't shouting right at that moment. "What in the name of all of God's little creatures was in that cupboard?"

Crystal sat back, stung by both Muse's tone and the use of her given name. "Baby teeth, Mama is rather sentimental that way. But you knew that, that was the whole target of the job."

Muse abruptly pulled the car over and up onto the pavement, ignoring the double yellow lines, and concentrated on her breathing. "That wasn't what I meant, Charity. I meant the thing, with the smoke and the tentacles, that thing in the cupboard."

Crystal looked genuinely surprised. "You…you weren't supposed to see that," she said, sounding a little bit worried, "You were wearing the locket I gave you, weren't you?"

Muse cracked. "Yes, I was wearing the bloody locket! It didn't give a flying fig about the bloody locket!" she spat out, all of the terror of the evening sharpening her tone to a knife edge. "That could have killed me, Charity, and I don't even know what it bloody was!"

A small, vicious part of her was pleased to see Crystal flinch back for at least a moment at the unexpected onslaught, but the older woman rallied, "It's a guardian, that's all I know - Mama paid someone to bind it there. But it's not supposed to attack anyone marked as family!"

"Marked with what, expensive jewellery?" Muse was still riding the wave of adrenaline, aware that she was going to pay for her behaviour later but right now unable and unwilling to care.

"No!" Crystal sounded upset. "There's some of my hair in there, Fidget and Oyster had the same - it should have been enough! It must have been, or you wouldn't be here now! The only reason it wouldn't work would be if I'd been cut out of the ward!"

"Let me get this straight," Muse snarled, "You're telling me that you sent the three of us into a potentially lethal situation with no information, no warnings, and a plan that 'should have worked' that you hadn't bloody tried out?!"

Crystal pouted sulkily. "You're making it sound far worse than it is, especially as you've clearly come out fine so my plan must have worked. From what Mama said the only things more powerful than hair are blood and bone, and you definitely didn't have either of those from me."

Muse looked at her in stony silence for a moment before flourishing the pocket square at her. "I never thought I was going to be quite so happy I punched your brother, but between him being the reason for the contract in the first place and it being the reason I didn't die…"

Crystal grabbed the square out of her hand and held it up to the light coming through the windscreen. "Oh my goodness, is that…?" She chuckled. "He is going to be livid."

Muse wasn't willing to let up on Crystal just yet, although tiredness was already starting to win over anger. "It's a good thing I got those teeth then, as I'm sure you can use them for…I don't know, blackmail or insurance or something." She sighed. "Right now though I just want to go home, check the boys made it back safe, shower and sleep, and tomorrow you can explain to me in small words about wards and guardians and everything in case it comes up again. Right?"

"Oh, alright," Crystal said, still smiling at the pocket square in a faintly disconcerting manner, "Let's go home."

It wasn't until much later, lying wrapped up in each other in the dark, that Crystal said sleepily, "I am glad you're okay, Muse. I wouldn't have sent you in if I'd thought you were going to get seriously hurt, I promise - I love you too much for that."

Muse's heart, her eternal weakness, still skipped a beat at the declaration as the last of the anger ran out of her. "I love you too, Crystal," she whispered back, knowing her girlfriend was almost certainly already asleep.

[4joonkookie]

Gravity

(Mirror, Mirror part #2, [or not])

⚘ Paring: Jungkook x Reader

⚘Words: 3.8K

⚘Summary:

Part 2 of the Mirror, Mirror series. All parts can be read as a series or standalone. (Standalone) - You strike a lusty connection with a sexy stranger at a concert venue. OR (Series) - Unsure about the future of your relationship, you recall the first time you meet and fuck JK.

⚘Tags/Warnings:

SMUT, flirting, public foreplay, infatuation, established relationship, non-disclosure agreement, angst, rough sex, putting on a condom is sexy?, waxing nostalgic, noona!kink, destiny, series, career woman, Jungkook takes long showers, oops there's a plot, lots of research on that 'Euphoria' harness, Seokjin cameo, commitment issues, avoidant behavior, unresolved ending, ending up to reader interpretation, just wanted to write a sex scene in the mirror and it's manifested into 4 parts.

------------------------------------------

You stand frozen in the mirror, looking at your reflection until it fortunately steams away from Jungkook’s hot shower.

Quit your stupid job. Please. Stay with me. And you don’t need to have an answer. But we have to talk about it.

You could be predictable and do exactly what Jungkook thinks. You can leave.

Or. You could head to the kitchen, start a pot of coffee and unpack your bags.

Memories flood your mind, keeping you still.

-----

The thousands of seats in the stadium are empty but ample employees work through set-up and dress rehearsal for the concert happening tonight.

You stand on the stage watching the staff secure a performer to the platform harness, tightening a cable around his waist. They shuffle to finish and take steps back to watch the man be lifted, hung and swayed above the stadium seats.

This is the last item on your agenda today before you can head back to the hotel and rest for an early flight tomorrow.

The performer is slowly lowered down to the stage.

Working for these large venues means traveling, living in hotel rooms and keeping you too busy to take advantage of endless complimentary show tickets. Most of them go to waste or are given away . A “friend” (one of the many that come out of the woodwork depending on what show is in their city) casually asked about tickets to this particular concert. You told her the stadium is sold out but you had 2 tickets and weren’t planning on using them.

Your ears still ring with the high-pitched shriek she wailed into the receiver.

When the man lands safely back on the stage, you approach him. “How is it? Does it feel okay?” you say, in your best client - friendly voice as he steps off the device.

“Do I have to wear the wrist harness?” He rubs where the looped fabric has reddened his skin.

“It kind of burns.”

You scrunch your face before replying. “Yes, you have to wear the harness. It’s a liability if you don’t.” you say, matter-of-factly.

“A liability.” It’s not clear if he’s parroting you or asking a question.

“Right,” you nod. You signed a contract.”

“I did?” his hand on his chest, genuinely surprised.

“Well, someone did,” gesturing to the plentiful staff of his company.

“What does it say?”

“It says the stadium isn’t responsible for anything that happens to you if you don’t use the moving platform as recommended, I.E. with the wrist harness.”

He doesn’t reply. “Sorry.”, you add. Just trying to keep you and your 5 friends safe.”

“6,” he corrects you.

“6 What?”

“There’s seven of us. Me and 6 friends.”

You quickly apologize, realizing you may have come off rude and too eager to leave. You have no idea who he is but he’s not the first diva you’ve dealt with. You turn on the charm and start sucking up to the talent, as your job often requires.

“But if the fabric of this one is too rough on you...,” you briefly rub your hand over the reddening skin on his hand. “I think I have one in a different material that’ll be gentler on your skin.”

He laughs shyly and smiles. It wasn’t your intention to flirt but his reaction made it feel like you were. It makes him seem a little young.

“It’s ok.” He laughs again, containing a smile. “It’s not too rough,” eyes glancing at your lips and moving to your eyes. The wind blows his dark hair over his face but you can still see his eyes. His near smolder throws you off, causing you to dart your own eyes down.

“Are you sure?” feeling blood rush to your chest and face as the distance between your bodies begins to close.

“Yes.” He thanks you by name after quickly getting a glimpse at your name badge. “Is that your job? Making sure everyone is safe?” Embarrassed by your initial touch, he seems more confident now.

“Sort of,” you reply shortly.

Really, your job is to prevent the venues from being sued. Charming (and albeit, sometimes flirting) with talent is part of the job, so, you’re not sure why this random has such a pull on you. Or why your palms are sweating and your mind is going foggy.

“Wait here,” you instruct.

He nods and you jog to an equipment room backstage to retrieve another wrist harness. This one is made of silicone instead of fabric. You hurry back to him and worry you’re out of breath when you return.

“Here.” You pull the moving platform to you, stepping on your tiptoes to unhook the fabric loop. He holds out his hand to take the new one from you. You offer it and he easily reaches to hook it on, making you feel small as you return back to your flat feet.

“Hopefully, it’s a bit gentler for you,” you tease, taking some advantage of his bashfulness.

“Thank You.” He smiles. Your bodies are closer now and you can feel his breath.

Swallowing, “Do you want to try it.?” Soap and cologne fill your nostrils.

“Try what?” keeping his lips parted, eyes searching your face.

“The harness.” You pull the still-hanging platform and hold your foot down on the device so he can step easily onto it again. He raises his arm above his head and you loop his hand through the strap. You pull the belted cables and secure them tightly around his waist, feeling rigid muscles under his oversized t-shirt. He winces when you snap the belt closed.

“Speaking of rough,” he scolds, looking down at you, the world closing in quickly on you both.

“Safety first.” One of your feet between his, holding him down to the stage on the small platform. You could’ve had staff do it but eliminating this closeness seems wrong. “Ready?” you say, hands hanging from his belt.

His eyes peek down at your lips again. “Ready.” You step off the platform and give a thumbs up to staff working the cables above the stadium. They pull him for a few laps, flying around, giving you a moment to compose yourself.

When he lands, you replace your foot between his. “Better?” you ask, rising to your tippy-toes to unloop his wrist, letting your fingertips graze on the top of his hand.

“Better,” he replies, smiling ear-to-ear now. You wrap your arms around his waist again to remove the cables.

Behind him, a group of men huddle together at the end of the stage, conspicuously giggling and immediately stopping when your eyes find them.

“Are those your 6 friends?” you question, as you unhook the belt, embarrassed that you acted as if you were alone.

He steps off and rolls his eyes, endeared. “That’s them.”

“Ok.” You rub your face, trying to coax yourself back into reality. “You’ll let me know if you or your friends need anything?”.

He nods respectfully and thanks you by name again.

“You’re welcome.” You offer a wave and turn to slink away. You cringe when he calls you again. You turn to find a sheepish grin on his face.

“Do you know my name?” he asks with a knowing look.

You try to be casual. “No, I don't. You don’t have a name badge like me.” You take another step forward, being pulled in like a magnet again, onlookers be damned. “I’m sorry. I don’t know who you or your friends are. Will you forgive me?” looking up, controlling the urge to pout at him.

He scrunches his nose. “It’s ok. Kind of makes me feel normal.”

Funny, he seems normal to you. Your faces are too close to call this any kind of “schmoozing” or “sucking up” but you can’t drag yourself away.

“Your name?” scanning him from head to toe.

He crooks his mouth and inhales sharply. “I don’t know, I kind of like it this way.” He leans in closer, voice getting lower. “Is there somewhere we can go?” tongue running over his cotton-candy lips. “I promise to introduce myself.” He's painstakingly bold now and not a second too soon because you’re practically putting on a show, center stage. “Or is that a liability too?” he teases.

“I guess that depends on how rough you plan on being,” you taunt back and he exhales a breathy moan. “Follow me.” He takes your hand and you lead him to the office buildings in the stadium, empty on a Saturday.

“Is this part of your job too? Seducing singers?” he asks, as you approach the glass doors. You stop in your tracks before inserting a key into the lock of the building.

“I am NOT seducing you.” Reflecting on the last few minutes, you hardly believe it yourself.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “And no,” you continue. “I’ve never done this before.” You insert a key in the lock and turn your wrist.

“So, why me?” a hand still clasped with yours.

“Still figuring that out,” you reply, opening the door. “I’d hate for you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you, do you want to stop?”

He pulls the door open. “No.” gesturing for you to walk inside. You hardly make it in before he pins you to the wall right away, hooking his index fingers in your belt loops.

You look at him closely. “How old are you?”

“You first,” he says with a sly smile.

“Old enough.” You give him a playful shove.

Looking at him long again, “20.” you guess, sounding confident.

He grips around your waist. “How do you know that?”

You look up at him, thoughtfully. His lips are millimeters from yours. “Just a feeling,” you whisper. His lips finally press against yours, soft pecks at first. You breathe each other in and your mouth opens to him when he lifts a hand to the back of your neck.

He slots his legs between yours, heatedly pushing you harder against the wall. His lips move to your neck and both pairs of greedy hands squeeze and tug at each other's bodies.

Unfazed by still being visible through glass doors, you slip your hands under the belt of his pants to give his ass a squeeze and push his groin more roughly against you.

It gets more desperate, both of you panting and sweating through your clothes, still against the wall. He lifts up your shirt to grope at your breasts when you hear the speakers.

“Jungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk, let’s goooooooo! We need to get ready!”

You peek out of the glass to see two other members shouting for Jungkook into hot microphones. He lets out a heavy sigh and kisses you hard again.

“Jungkook ,” you whisper. Like a prayer falling from your lips, naming the pull of his gravity.

He looks at his watch which prompts you to look at yours. 5 o’clock.

“I have to go. Can I see you later? Are you busy?” still panting and pressed against you.

“Aren’t you?” running fingers through strands of his chocolate hair.

“Later, later. After the concert, 10 or 11. “You’re staying for the concert?”

“Yeah,” you lie.

His name still blares over stadium speakers. He groans and pushes his forehead to yours. It’s a relief that he feels stuck to you too.

You begin to offer, “I have a hotel nearby, you can…”

He laughs. “Sorry, I can’t really do that. Can I have your number? I’ll have my lawyer find you tonight.”

“What?” you ask, confused.

“You know… liability and legal stuff.” A hundred voices tell you to end this right now. And one voice has you unhooking a pen hanging from your name badge and listing digits on his hand.

He plants one more kiss on you and just like that, he’s gone. You let your back slide down the wall until you’re sitting on the floor, taking a moment before you head back to the hotel to change clothes, put on your staff badge to blatantly take advantage of your job and enter a concert you don’t have tickets for.

You re-enter the stadium without suspicion and blend into the standing room. Any sense of nervousness disappears. You lose yourself in the magic of the show and his talent on stage, now done up and dressed in almost a costume. Still beautiful.

At intermission, a stranger in a suit calls you by name and introduces himself as the lawyer. You walk into an empty office as the stadium still buzzes. He talks and talks and talks. Then, he takes out a stack of paperwork, a non-disclosure contract.

You sign in about a hundred places. You know better, you should be taking time to read and sign carefully but your mind is fogged with the idea of getting your hands back on him, whoever he is.

“Ok. You’re all set,” the lawyer says, after a final signature.

“What happens next?” wondering when you reap the benefits of signing your life away.

“He’ll be in touch, I guess.” The lawyer shrugs and you walk him to the arena exit.

The concert ends and you head to an office to wait, unsure if you should leave the stadium.

Finally, a message from an unknown phone number with an address and hotel room appears on your phone screen. A knot forms in the pit of your stomach. You feel compelled to tell someone where you’ll be going only to remember that you signed an NDA that forbids just that.

You try to reply to the number and an error message immediately returns. “Sender not available”.

What the fuck. You stop and take a deep breath. This could be dangerous and now it’s going beyond “sexy” danger. You try unsuccessfully to convince yourself to stop thinking with your genitals and about the sexy stranger you needed to finish that kiss with.

It doesn’t feel real. You open an internet tab and search his name.

What a mistake. All the blood in your body floods to your core, knowing this man was potentially waiting in a bed for you makes your mind even hazier. Before you can catch up to your thoughts, you rush to your car to drive the short distance to the hotel.

Silent security guards escort you through the lobby and up the elevator. When the doors reopen, Jungkook has his back propped against a wall, expecting you. His hands are in the pockets of sweatpants. He doesn’t look like he did on stage anymore. Not like the pictures. His freshly showered and bare-faced appearance disarms your anxious mind.

“I’ve narrowed down who you are,” you start. “You’re either a big deal or an axe murderer.”

He laughs. “What if I told you neither is true?” He pulls you close by your waist and places a quick kiss on your lips. It’s too casual, like some muscle memory you never knew you had.

“The paperwork? The spoofed phone number?” you gently scold, as he leads you to a door in the hallway.

“You still came,” he says, opening the room door.

“Yeah, what does that say about me?” walking in ahead of him and taking a moment in self-deprecation.

“That you want to finish that kiss as much as I do,” door closing behind him.

You smile to yourself as you face away, heart fluttering at the notion that his idea mirrored yours. You turn to approach him.

“It was a little more than a kiss,” you flirt, placing your arms around his neck.

“Yeah…” his hands wrap around your waist again and his lips hungrily find yours. He bites gently on your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you.

“Sorry if that’s a little rough,” he teases, taking his mouth to yours again letting his hands roam. He adds: “I promise i’m not ‘axe-murderer’ rough,” he chides, and you both giggle between kisses. You sink into the familiar and comfortable space, regardless of being actual strangers . You lift off his shirt, eager for what you felt earlier, running hands gratuitously over his chiseled chest and abs.

“Do you want a drink or…” he’s graciously offering between kisses.

“No,” breaking your lips just long enough to reply, knowing he’s got exactly what you need right now.

Clothes are tossed in the air and landing on the floor before he lays you on the bed and the heated pace slows. He mounts on top of you and places slow kisses down your neck and chest while lowering the straps of your bra and kneading your breasts beneath the fabric. He takes nipples into his mouth, warm tongue circling, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. Your encouraging hands, tangled in his hair.

He moves to your mouth again, offering his tongue, slow but deep. He pulls your panties around your ankles and allows the palm of his hand to slide against your thigh before he can reach his thumb to stroke between your folds, causing you to shudder. He sucks at the tip of his thumb and moves his hips to push his still clothed cock against your center. You wrap your legs around him, urging him closer, needy for his friction.

“Be back,” he says, leaving a peck on your cheek. He walks to a bag on a nearby table, rustles through and retrieves a condom. You sit up on the edge of the bed as he struts back to you. He presents the foil square between 2 fingers. You peel it open, looking up at him. The back of one of his hands strokes your cheek while his other lowers the waistband of his boxer briefs, revealing himself. You instinctively grip his shaft to plam slow strokes along his length and take pleasure in watching his eyes roll back.

You release your hand to pull the condom from it’s open wrapper, place it on the tip and use 2 hands to roll it down to the base before discarding the wrapper on the nightstand and pulling his underwear to the floor.

Leaning down to kiss you, he asks, “What do you want?”

You search for the words but opt to stand and silently guide him to sit back on the bed. He’s satisfied to follow your action as you straddle his lap and use your hand to brace his hard cock on your swollen center, rubbing up and down, slicking the rubber further. You guide yourself onto him, digging your nails into his shoulders slightly when you feel how he spreads you open, stretching and adjusting.

He groans when you reach the base, pushing down on your hips and shifting beneath you, getting deeper and widening your stretch. You whimper and squirm as you adjust.

“Too rough?” he teases.

“Not at all, '' you say, lifting your hips again and meeting the base faster. He pushes you down again, lifting his lap up.

“Good,” he breathes out, shakily.

You create a rhythm with your legs lewdly spread and circle your lower body, his shaft grinding against your sensitive walls, encouraged by his quickening breath.

His eyes are glued to your hips, watching them move. He slams you down a little harder, testing you. You both grunt when he meets the hilt.

You encourage his hand on your center, placing his hand on yours and setting the speed for him. He takes the cue and continues on his own, watching your face. You drop your head to his neck. He lifts you by your chin. “Let me see you.” The sensation is too much, and you're embarrassingly close. He quickens his pace below you, your own hips hardly moving anymore. You look down, entranced by his fingers. He uses his free hand to tug back on your hair.

“I said let me see,” you pulse around him at the words, a delighted smile on his face as he watches.

Still inside, he flips you on your back and buries himself balls deep inside you with an audible slap, bed rocking at the motion.

“Too much?” he sounds sincere.

“More,” you reply, challenging him anyway. He thrusts hard into you again with a sinister grin and keeps his pace, watching diligently as you take all of him. You whine at his deep strokes and he pins your wrists above your head, rendering you helpless as the pressure coils again at your center.

His grunts get lighter, whinier as he grips your wrists tighter.

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you curse, and grope at his tensing ass cheeks when he comes. His thrusts become slow and shallow before sliding out of you. He takes a moment to lay his head on your chest before pulling and tying the condom off, tossing it.

He collapses beside you so you’re shoulder to shoulder and you fall into conversation, for too long and too late but you both delight in it, taking in more of each other.

“When can I see you again?” he asks as you prepare to leave, sunrise peeking through the curtains.

You’re a little surprised. The circumstances had you assuming this as a one-night thing.

“What do you mean?” you ask, unsure.

He gives you a suspicious side-eye. “Can I see you again?”

You attempt to shake down the guard you have up and smile at him.

“When?” you question, as his gravity pulls you back to the bed where he lies.

You lie side by side and compare schedules. It would be the first of hundreds of times you do this, comparing calendars and forcing your lives together.

You’re not sure when you stop forcing it but it’s happened. Now, 3 years later, you’re frozen at a fork in the road, torn to make a decision, knowing you can’t continue to drag him through your hesitation. You pick up your bag and head to the front door.

This first memory and a million others flood your thoughts.

When you saw him for the second time, weeks later, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. You remember his flattered, cheeky smile.

The time you both got food poisoning and shared the bathroom floor for 3 days.

Surprising him backstage one night and sucking him off before a performance. His face was priceless.

The time he was so exhausted from touring he just slept for the 15 hours you were together. And you contentedly watched until you had to part again.

Taking a spontaneous flight just to get tattoos.

When you told him you loved him on the plane. “I love you.” The words slip out effortlessly, you don’t even remember what you were talking about. He’s pleasantly surprised and almost proud that you say it first. He reciprocates your words and seals it with a kiss on your forehead. “I love you too.”

Playing domestic during quarantine and settling into a chosen family when the world comes to a screeching halt.

The look on his face when he fucked you in the mirror last night.

His disappointed face before he got in the shower today.

You don’t notice Seokjin until he speaks, passing by you on his way to the kitchen.

“Leaving, noona?”

You don’t respond, still facing the closed door.

“Do you need help with your bag?” he’s walking up to you now.

“Noona,” he places a hand on your shoulder. “Are you going?”

Part 3/4 HERE

[valcarolrights]

Call Me (Carol Danvers x Reader)

Something small I may take further based on feedback 👀 I'm new.

You were a little out of your depth. This was the first time your laptop had given in. None of your other laptops had died, it was just this stupid one that didn't want to charge.

You bit your lower lip as your eyes scanned the prices. They weren't bad but what if the charger wasn't the problem? You sighed deeply. You should've brought it with you to test it.

You frowned as you saw a woman a few feet away wearing an identical expression to yours as she looked over phones. She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips, allowing some hair to fall over her eyes. You swallowed hard. She was beautiful.

It was as if she felt you staring and you felt like a deer caught in headlights as the two of you made eye contact. Your breath hitched in your throat. She was gorgeous.

You needed to think fast. "Prices for phones are ridiculous nowadays." you try, cringing at how thin your voice had become. "You pay a couple hundred extra just for the tiniest new feature on the next edition."

To your relief she smiles. "That sounds a lot like theft."

"It basically is. They improve the camera on the next one and make it work faster and suddenly your old one is useless."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about." she smirks and you step closer, proud of how far you'd come in the conversation.

"Yeah well you're looking at the owner of multiple phones. My phones have fallen in water, had broken screens, battery issues, the works. I'm probably a cell phone ambassador." you stop in front of her. "Wish I could say the same about my laptop. It just died." you mutter sadly. "The one week where I have news diaries ready days before the time and it decides not to charge so I can't retrieve my stuff."

"That does sound like a conundrum." she nods with a small smile before it grows. "Okay I don't know much about laptops but I know someone who does." she says, sparking your interest. "A few people actually. How about you help me choose a phone and I have someone look into your issue before you spend unnecessary money?"

You were stuck. A pretty girl practically offering to help you but in exchange taking your bread and butter into her personal care and someone else's when you barely knew her?

Fuck it. You could save money.

"Sure." you shrug. "It's a deal."

Her smile widens and you notice the little mole underneath her eye. "I'm Carol."

"Y/N." you give her hand a shake, getting lost in its warmth. "Well Carol, what's your price range?"

She shrugs and holds up a card. "I'm owed for saving some lives so let's go crazy?"

-

After getting Carol the brand new model, the two of you sit on the bench at the mall while you show Carol the basics of how to use a phone. You were shocked she couldn't but when she explained why (yes you were even more shocked that you just helped out a superhero), you understood and went slow with her.

"This is a lot to take in. And I deal with advanced technology on various planets every other week. How can I not understand a simple phone?" she asks with a pout, making your heart melt.

You chuckle before answering. "Some things are harder to learn than others." You shrug. "You'll get there soon enough."

"I hope so." the two of you make eye contact and you inhale sharply as her smile fades a little into words. "Would you um-like to get some coffee?"

Your eyes widen and you check your phone. You had to call some of your coworkers via Skype in an hours time to get stories rolling and explain how a journalist doesn't have a laptop. You didn't want to reject Carol but you didn't want any time with her to be rushed either.

She was different. Light. Funny. And you could see yourself hanging off every one of her words in the foreseeable future. So with a heavy heart, you apologized. "I'd love to but I have a meeting in a few." She nodded with a neutral expression before an idea popped into your head and your eyes lit up. "It's fine."

"But we can do coffee tomorrow maybe? We can text and try out your new phone?"

You could see the sparkle in her eyes as she opened her dialer pad, eager to save your number. You chuckled because as it was the twenty first century, you'd type it in yourself but it was her first number in her first mobile phone so you let it go.

After promising to text, you guys parted ways with soft smiles and eager eyes.

-

Your Skype meeting had ended with nothing new to report. You weren't sure if meeting the new addition to the Avengers was something to report but even if it was, you preferred to keep that information to yourself. You waited for Carol to text before slapping your forehead. She probably didn't know how to.

But she lived in the same compound as Tony Stark, he'd show her the ropes, right?

You hoped. You resorted to typing your latest task on Word on your phone and were halfway through before taking a break and going to the kitchen.

It was almost midnight when you returned with a sandwich and a frown because your phone was ringing and the call was from an unknown number. Normally, you'd let it ring but even with the late hour, the prospect of it being Carol crept into your mind and a smile on your face as you picked up the phone after clearing your throat.

"Hello?"

"Y/N." you smile at the softness of her voice. Carol. "I'm so sorry for calling so late. You said you'd be busy and I didn't want to disturb you so early and when I wanted to text, I realized I didn't know how. Most of the others are gone on missions so I was just struggling until I figured to call."

You giggled slightly. "I'm glad you did." you said genuinely. It felt like meeting her was a once in a lifetime, and there were so many things that could happen, you didn't want to live knowing you'd lost out on those opportunities forever.

"I didn't think you'd be up. I took a chance. I remember you said the late hours are your best hours?"

Warmth spread in your chest. "Yeah. Um was just working on a few things on my phone."

"I'm lucky I caught you then." she says, making you smile. "It's pretty late though. We can talk tomorrow morning. I'll call you."

"I'm proud of you for knowing how to call me."

"Yeah well maybe when we see each other again you can teach me how to text."

"No problem. We can do it over coffee tomorrow?"

"Sounds amazing." she agrees and at this point you're not sure if you can stop smiling. "Bring your laptop too, I didn't forget my side."

"I was hoping you wouldn't." you reply, wondering who she could've asked seeing as she wasn't as technologically savvy with earth electronics. "We'll discuss more details tomorrow?"

"I'll call you." she repeats with a soft tone. "Sleep tight Y/N."

"Sleep tight Carol."

[max--phillips]

Look, I'm kinda dumb so don't judge me but what does kin mean?

Nah ur not dumb it technically means like, relative (“next of kin,” right?) but with the Advent Of The Internet™️ and tumblr and what have you, theres a contingent of folks who kin with characters or like... idk, animals, other things, it’s kinda all over the place and depends on who you ask, really. It’s also a p big sliding scale from “I relate heavily to this character and/or I’m projecting onto them as a coping mechanism” to “I AM this character and I have memories from being this character.” This is also why people say (and/or make jokes about) “no doubles” because the closer you are to the “I am this character” side of things the more you’re like...... idk if it’s just discomfort or actual animosity towards people who also kin that character? Regardless the no doubles thing just means you don’t want other people who kin a character you do interacting with you. Anyway. Point is there are people like me who are squarely in “I relate quite a bit to this character (or type of animal, or concept, or a whole host of things) and I’m definitely projecting a little onto them” territory, and there are other people who... take it a little more seriously and that can be fine or you can end up with. Kin dating and the disaster that was kinblr circa 2013 (you know, the time when the entirety of tumblr was also a dumpster fire).

For instance (and also allow me to expose myself to my nearly 600 and mostly grown ass adult followers lmao): I kin w/ Taako from TAZ Balance bc I can also be a huge asshole and have some Guilt Issues despite having ultimately done little to nothing wrong, and I’m also a lil dumb. Simple Idiot Wizard. Y’know. (Actually any time you see me tag anything with the letter k, I’m tagging it bc it’s one of my kintypes or related to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) However I dont claim to have like... memories from being Taako in a past life or anything, it’s just. A thing that makes me feel a little better for some reason that I genuinely can’t articulate to kin with him and a handful of other characters.

And yeah it’s always kind of had a bad/cringey wrap since that “on every level except physical I’m a wolf” thing became a meme (though I hear she’s out as a trans woman and doing well which is neat) it’s just one of those like, “as long as you’re not hurting yourself or anyone else do whatever makes you happy” things. I know a lot of ppl start kinning when they’re younger, like 13 or 14, but I didn’t like. Recognize it as a thing until I was like 19 (once I was like “fuck cringe culture I’ll do what I want thank you very much”).

Also I’m not the authority on this I’m just kinda relaying my experience. There are TONS of resources out there though and blogs with way more information (and better articulated information at that) than my tired ass can supply to you. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people and I guarantee someone on this hellsite would burn me at the stake for describing it the way I have (even though I’m not wrong, I just have a different approach to it). Anyway if u want me to clarify anything lemme know I’d be happy to try to clear things up fjdbfbdjdks

[unusualvisionsblog]

Sky full of star: Chapter 1

My first original series/ book! Ah I'm super nervous and excited. Its pretty cringy I guess but I hope y'all don't hate it yeet.

Summary : Kathleen Hunter, 23 and a redhead is a daring and an ambitious flight attendant who wants to travel the world. But when her jobs brings her to a new love and brings back an old flame, what will Kathleen do?

Warnings : none actually, cringe probably, swearing later.

There might be a few spelling mistake since I posted this at like 1am yeet

Word count : 1615 or something

So here we go oof

CHAPTER 1

Never had she hated her life more. Her alarm didn't ring and she had already stubbed her toe on that darn bedside table. Ouch. She really couldn't  afford to be late today.Sighing deeply, she checked the time. Today was really important for her,  because if this flight went well, her career would really take a jump. Being a flight attendant was definitely not an easy job. She had to deal with rude passengers and crying babies. She looked at herself in the mirror, biting her lips in criticism. Her strawberry blonde hair were a mess but there wasn't enough time to do a decent hair style.

Kathleen would never believe anyone whenever they complimented her on her looks, because having been called plain and boring by her mother for 23 years, it was hard to believe anything else really.

But when someone else would see her for the first time, they would notice how the  loose tendrils of her silky hair would cover her face and how her alluring blue eyes would peek out and how they would shine brilliantly when her pink lips uplifted to form a sweet smile.

Putting her hair in a quick messy bun, she got dressed and grabbed a coffee before leaving. She quickly reached the bus stop and waited, tapping her feet constantly and after every two sips, checking the time. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice a group of suave business men and women heading towards her  when suddenly "BAM!". A young man talking to his colleague bumped into the frowning woman. At this sudden motion, Kathleen stepped back, dropping the hot coffee on her uniform. Now this really was the cherry on top of an already bad day.  She crossed her arms, glaring right into the brown eyes of the fair young man, "Excuse me, are you actually freaking blind? You've completely ruined my day AND my coffee!"

Taken aback, "I apologise for the coffee but this is just as much your fault as it is mine" the man huffed, his brows creased. This only infuriated Kathleen more and she was more than ready to retort back,"Hah! You- " when the woman next to the man interjected,"David we really don't have time to argue with random people on the street, you're getting late!" and with that they all moved forward with David looking over his shoulder and scowling at the woman one last time, muttering, "God what a horrible start to the day."

Having finally reached the airport, Kathleen quickly changed into her second set of uniform and did her make up before getting on board the flight.

As tiring and exhausting this job was, Kathleen really did love being a flight attendant as it was the only way she got to travel the world. She'd been to France, Germany, Italy, India.. the list goes on and on.

She had met people who had impacted her life throughout her journey and she was excited for her next one and if this went well, there was going to be a sweet sweet salary bump for her.

Having helped all the passengers in the economy section feel  comfortable, she moved to the business class where she finally got a chance to talk to her  best friend, Tracy Sawyer. Tracy smiled brightly at her as she walked towards her, "Omg, are you excited?! This is your first flight with you in charge!! You are so going to kill it!"

"Wow you have way more confidence in me then I have  for myself." She chuckled in reply.

"Okay first shut up, you're definitely getting that raise and second you have got to see that hottie in first class, single and wohoo he is a snack!"

Raising her eyebrow, "Don't you have like a boyfriend Tracy?" She questioned.

"God you are so dense, Kathy he isn't even my type, I was talking about you! You've been single for like 8 years!"

"3 not 8!"

Tracy rolled her eyes in reply, "Whatever you're serving first class today! See you around love! First seat on the right" She said winking at Kathy and moving to the next section.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't  even a least bit interested in checking out this so called handsome single man. She took a deep breath and walked right into the first class section and with a bright smile turned towards the right side, " Good morning and thank you for choosing Blue sky airlines, how can I help you today?" She lifted her eyes and that's when her smile faltered. They were the same brown eyes that had glared right back at her in the morning.

"You- it was you at the bus stop wasn't it? Screaming at me?"squinting at her with his lips pressed

" I-i act-" she stuttered.

" Do you know that I am the CEO  of  Timetrend?"

Wide eyed, her breathing became rapid but she could not speak.

"This is an interesting turn of events" with a smirk on his face.

At this point Kathleen composed herself, "Sir allow me to apologise to you profusely, I truly am very sorry." But let's be honest, they both knew she wasn't.

"Well I guess you can make it up to me by getting a glass of champagne or is that too much for you?"

Biting her lips to prevent her from making the situation worse, She replied, "right away sir."

She cursed Tracy severely in her head. And to make matters even more abominable, there was only one first class passenger. And he was a pain in the ass.

He couldn't believe his bad luck, imagine having the same clumsy woman as your flight attendant. At least here he had an advantage, he could order her around completely although he wasn't actually that cruel. He was having a hard time  trying to control his laughter looking at the flustered girl who was so composed before.

As much as he tried to distract himself, he was extremely bored, he had finished all of his work so that he could spend time with his girlfriend on the flight. Well Ex girlfriend now since she broke up with him yesterday. He was upset sure but not heartbroken. He didn't really love her and she probably didn't either although she tried to but the effort was only one sided. He didn't have time for relationships. He was a busy man after all.

He tried to sleep but he just couldn't. He heard the sound of her heels and guessed that she was making the rounds again. He sat up straight and decided to order another glass of champagne, this was a long flight after all.

" Do you need anything sir? " She questioned, still afraid to meet his eyes.

"Yes, I'm bored."

At this her eyes shot up, with eyebrows raised but she quickly hid it with her normal smile

" Well we have a wide range of movies, if you'd like. We also have mag-"

"No."

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean no, I want to have a conversation. Tell me something about yourself."

" Are you drunk sir?"

" No of course not! Who gets drunk after two glasses of champagne?"

" Well okay, what would you like to know?"

"For starters, tell me your name."

And somehow, to both of their surprise, they were able to keep an interesting flow of conversation going without any awkward silences or anything of the sort and soon they were laughing like old friends. Well actually Kathleen was laughing, the closest David came to laughing was giving her a genuine smile. Soon Kathleen returned to the other attendants for the rounds, returning soon enough to first class, with smirking glances from Tracy.

"Kathleen, might I ask you why did you choose to become an air hostess? You don't have to answer." He added cautiously

"One  call me Kathy, I actually do not like Kathleen at all.

He chuckled slightly taking a sip of his drink

"Two it's not really complicated. I mean I didn't always want to be an attendant. I wanted to  be a pilot. But you know financial issues."

"Oh. Yeah I get that"

There was a comfortable silence between the two before Kathy had to leave again.

"We'll be landing soon, so I'll take your leave." She smiled at him warmly. There was something so innocent about her smile that he couldn't help but smile back.

She got up to get back to her seat with Tracy when a sudden turbulence caused her to stumble forward but before she could hit the floor,a pair of strong hands grabbed her waist and prevented any accident that would end up with her having a huge boil on her head. She felt her heart pound as she looked into his brown eyes slightly converted by his brown hair for what seemed like 10 minutes but was actually 5 seconds? She was being ridiculous! She shook her head and smiled at him,thanking him and went on her way avoiding eye contact.

-----

He really couldn't help but smile at her and he was pretty astonished about himself. They were getting ready to descend, when there was a slight tremor and he realized that it had completely shooken Kathy and she would probably fall down but before that he grabbed her firmly by the waist and immediately stood up. He didn't know what happened but something in her blue eyes pulled him towards her. He saw a strand of her glossy red hair on her soft pink cheeks, he was having  a hard time fighting the urge to tuck it behind her ear. He didn't even register the fact that he was staring at her before she blushed and pulled away. For the first time in his life, he felt flustered at the sight of her. He probably was just tired. Hopefully.

#love #angst #romance #chicklit #original #fiction