#I just finished his myth and I am deep in the feels

[loverindeepspace]

Do you ever think that Xavier is scared that the fate with him and mc will repeat itself?

Knowing that every time he had loved you in your past lives, it had ended in tragedy? You died in his arms, he had knowingly left you alone to lead a planet knowing it hurt you deeply? The planet that was dying nonetheless

I think it’s also where his insecurities and possessiveness stem from bc you left first (when you died) and then he left you after promising to be by your side so he’s afraid you’ll leave again, willingly or not

So imagine his reaction if you get hurt on a mission? Even worse if you get hurt and he wasn’t there with you

Or if he had to leave for a long mission alone, knowing he was leaving you behind again? Worse even if it was a confidential mission he couldn’t tell you about. It would bring back unpleasant memories of him leaving you stranded on Philos, of your final goodbye, the final words exchanged between you back then

[tender-rosiey]

hiii 😭 I REALLY LOVE UR GOJO X YN SO MUCHHH 😔😔 I was also wondering like maybe what if y/n has a wound, like any where 🥲 it could be either on her back, arms, legs but she doesn't wanna tell gojo abt it and she hides it, then he will find out about it either she winces when gojo hugs her, starts wearing long sleeved clothes or her shirt lifts up while sleeping 🤧 TYSMM❤❤

strain — gojo satoru x f!reader

a/n: I am honored that you like my works, love! hope you enjoy this as well 🫶💕🫶 also happy birthday to the man, the myth, the legend: gojo satoru!! (it’s still his birthday in my country so hush I am not late)

you are more than a capable sorcerer. in fact, you are one of the strongest in the field.

however, like anyone else, there are some moments where things get a little out of hand, and you come back bearing a rather long slash on your left arm.

but since it’s pretty late, you decided you will bother shoko about it in the morning. that is how you’re finally in your home, with satoru nowhere to be found.

you frown lightly at the fact that he is still out there fighting curses, but a part of you feels relieved that you don’t have to explain your situation right now.

the night should pass by smoothly, and you will go to shoko tomorrow: a fool-proof plan!

so you do what you can to sanitize the wound, and cover it until you can get it treated properly. you also take the chance to indulge in your favorite snack as a good job treat.

after finishing your food and tidying up for the day, you’re finally in bed, all-cozied up and avoiding anything touching your wound as much as possible.

a deep breathe in, a deep breathe out, and you slowly drift to sleep.

not much time passes before satoru’s familiar footsteps echo throughout the house.

your husband has an abundance of energy.

but it seemed like today’s missions have drained him a bit more than normal, so he skips eating anything and heads straight to your shared bedroom.

his heart softens, and his muscles relax upon the sight of you tucked in bed. he walks to press a small kiss on your forehead, quickly changing into his pajamas and settling right by your side.

he stretches a bit and turns to spoon you as per usual, eyes closing in contentment.

but you wince, even if adeptly, and it sends alarms ringing through his head.

he jerks up, and his hand is instantly placed on your arm again, softly. there is an ever so faint change in your expression as your eyebrows furrow, and he has never pulled his hand away so fast.

he keeps debating in his head whether to wake you up or not, but he swiftly settles for the former.

he needs to know what happened. so he, regrettably, nudges your sleepy form, “y/n?”

you groan, but, nonetheless, you reply, “…what?”

while satoru often likes to base theatrics around his every move and phrase, but he also knows when to get straight to the point, “did you get hurt on today’s mission?”

you’re no longer half-asleep, and you quickly sit up, eyeing your husband. knowing there is no escape nor denial, you fidget with your fingers and nod slowly.

then you hurriedly utter, “but I was going to see shoko first thing in the morning; I promise!”

he nods slowly, holding your hands in his own. you’re left to look him in the eyes. satoru’s eyes being exposed makes him feel so vulnerable, or at least that’s how he is with you.

you can see every wrinkle, and every crease; you can see what he is thinking about in real time. he has long given up hiding anything from you, and, besides, it feels fresh to just let go.

but right now, as you look into his eyes, you see them swarming with confliction, pain, and worry.

he doesn’t scold you about not going right now because he knows that you will tell him that you either thought it wasn’t a big deal or that you didn’t want to bother shoko with it.

instead, he settles on a hushed whisper of “can I see it?”

you throw him a confused look, “why? I am getting it treated tomorrow anyway,” then you smile, “it’s not going to permanent if that’s what you’re worried about.”

he shakes his head, “it’s not that; I just—“ he takes a deep breath then looks at you pleadingly, “just let me see it.”

perhaps it’s to silence his thoughts and to show him that you’re truly okay, as okay as you can be.

you’re still alive, and that’s what matters, he thinks. nevertheless, he feels the need to see just how serious is the wound anyway.

reluctantly, you slowly take off your jacket to reveal the poorly bandaged gash on your arm.

he looks up at you, asking for permission because even if he needs to see it for his own selfish reasons, he has to put you above anything and everything else.

you nod, giving the free reign to slowly take off the bandages. you can barely hold back any pained noises, but you can’t help the wincing of your body.

satoru’s frown deepens, and with every move, your husband’s heart aches. it goes like that until the wound is finally unveiled.

you feel satoru observing the cut so intently that you look away. satoru curses everything that he can think of, and never has we wanted the ability to heal others more than right now.

he straightens his back, “that’s a deep cut, y’know.”

“I know…”

“you also realize that the wound could’ve hit your chest and inevitably heart, right?”

you huff, “listen, if you’re going to give me a lecture or keep making me feel bad about it then I will have you know—“

“you could’ve died.”

you notice the strain in his voice, so you turn to finally look eyes with him. he looks pained, so hurt, maybe even terrified at the fact that there was a chance that he could’ve lost you.

your expression immediately becomes that of sympathy, “but I didn’t, and dwelling on the fact that I might’ve died will only bother you for no reason,” you hold his hand, “I am here and alive, aren’t I?”

your husband sighs, resting his head on your right shoulder, “you’re hurting my poor little heart whenever you put yourself in danger like that.”

a giggle escapes your lips, and your hands naturally find their way in his hair, fingers gently carding through, “whatever shall we do.”

“if things went my way then you would just stay home looking all pretty like you always do,” he states, and you roll your eyes.

“well, they’re going my way tonight, so—“ the clock strikes twelve, “happy birthday, silly boy.”

his eyes widen and he pulls away to look you in the face. he blinks dumbly then looks at what’s in your hands: a cupcake with a candle.

a wide grin of unbridled joy appears on your husband’s face. his eyes shimmer in the moonlight as he laughs, “I really didn’t expect it this time!”

“you outdid yourself, pretty girl,” he hums, hand caressing your cheek.

“I still have a lot more things for you,” you beam with pride. satoru can’t contain himself anymore, and he pulls you into a loving embrace.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs beside your ear, pressing a light kiss to the side of your neck.

you pat his back, “I love you too, ‘toru,” you laugh, “but you’re pressing on my wound, and I think I am just going to cry and not because of overwhelming love.”

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copyright © tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[exactlycleverpirate]

Wholehearted

Apparently today I woke and chose pain.

Rafayel x F MC fanfic. Angst. Hurt, no comfort (I lied, there is a little comfort at the end, should you desire it.) Spoilers for myth and possibly other Rafayel content. Short (660 words).

This is what I wrote instead of finishing the Abysswalker x MC nfsw fluffy fic I am over 3k words into.

“Amund! No! What have you done?!”

Rafayel ran to catch his lovely bride as she fell, but too late. Much too late. The wicked dagger jutted from her chest, just where he'd indicated a fatal blow could be struck when they had flirted and teased as he'd trained her so many months ago. Now the jest had turned to brutal reality.

“It was her request, Your Quintessence,” Amund insisted, sounding satisfied, perhaps even smug.

Rafayel felt sick as the blood seeped around the wound and stained her dress. The dagger was ironically preserving her life, stemming the flow, but he knew it couldn't be for long. She was dying, and he could do nothing to prevent it.

He pressed his forehead to her, tears coming in choking gasps, turning to pearls before they hit the sand. Her eyes fluttered open to look at him, barely clinging to consciousness.

“Why?” He sobbed, brokenly. “You told me not to give up. You told me there was still hope.”

“You were running out of time,” she whispered, fingers shaking as they lightly traced his cheek. “If I waited, it could be too late.”

It was true, and he knew it. His fire had grown dimmer and dimmer by the day. But he never thought…

“It was supposed to be me,” he cried, hugging her gently, feeling her warmth bleeding away. “I don't want it back. My heart belongs to you. Please, please, don't leave me.”

“I love you,” she whispered. Then the light of her eyes dimmed, her hand fell, and she was gone.

“No! No, don't go! Please, don't go!” But his screams fell on deaf ears. 

Power surged from her body in a flash of light, before rushing into his own chest. He could feel a vitality he hadn't felt in millenia surging through his veins.

Winds whipped across the sands, and with a great rumble, waters sprung up in mighty fountains. Distantly, he could hear a roar of jubilation as his people realized what was happening.

The God of the Sea was whole. The oceans were returning to Philos. No more would the Lemurians watch helpless as humans plundered their treasures.

The waters soon swallowed Rafayel and his lifeless bride. She looked ethereal as she floated in the blue, red fanning out in a deep stain around her.

“What a liar.” He whispered, fingers caressing her cool cheek.

For the first time in well over 30,000 years, Rafayel was whole, his flame reborn. 

He had never felt more empty, more cold. 

There would be no next life to get it right. The heart that had brought her back to him time and again had been returned, just as the prophecy demanded. There would be no more waiting for her. No more looking into lovely eyes that saw him as a stranger. Not even death would be a respite for him, for the seas would bring him mercilessly back, life after life, devoid of the only one who made it worth living.

In one swift move, the God of the Sea had regained his heart…and lost it forever.

***

“Rafayel!”

He woke with a gasp, eyes burning, cheeks stained. He looked around wildly, trying to understand what was happening. His skin felt clammy and sticky, his chest heaving for air. 

“Rafayel! I’m here. You're safe.”

That gentle voice, that beloved voice, and her soft hand against his cheek, stroking over the tear tracks. He pulled her forcefully into his arms, burying his head in her neck and inhaling deeply. Warm. Whole. Alive.

“I’m here, love,” she cooed, running her fingers soothingly through his hair. “I’m here. You’re safe. It was just a bad dream.”

He placed his hand against her chest, and but for a gasp of surprise, she didn't protest, cradling his hand against her. He felt the thrumming of his heart in her chest. He released a shaky breath.

Surely, she was right. Surely, it was just a dream.

[utilitycaster]

Thank you for writing up that post about the engagement of the alleged themes in campaign 3. I've seen the argument for them and honestly that plus some of the C3 stuff has almost made me feel weird playing a cleric in this setting. The implications just are so unfortunate if it really is the angle they're going for?

Hi anon,

So I have two thoughts on this. The first is that like...it's actually really difficult to make a story set in a fantasy world that deals with racism and colonialism because you have to develop fantasy racism and colonialism, which is a really fucking unpleasant headspace to exist in! And then, if you do, you have what I alluded to in tags on a different post today, where you will get people up in arms about how D&D or an actual play show or a fantasy work depicts orcs or goblins as racist or antisemitic stereotypes and then it's crickets when it comes to any real-world support of black or Jewish people. Chuck Klosterman said sci fi is philosophy for stupid people, and I disagree, but I do think speculative fiction is frequently sociology, anthropology, and geopolitics for stupid people, particularly if it's a setting with a lot of magic and fantasy races vs say, works like Butler's Patternist series, or a lot of Latin American magical realism, or (girl who just finished Disco Elysium voice) Disco Elysium, where there's a lot more grounding in our reality. I think this post covers the concept of real vs mythic, and I think the Critical Role stuff with the gods is in the realm of the mythic and people are trying to force it into a very human narrative. And yeah, the implications are really unfortunate if you do.

I think it's worth noting that a lot of high-profile (and beloved) TTRPG/AP projects from actual people from colonized cultures imagine a world in which they were never colonized (I am far from an expert but just off the top of my head: Coyote and Crow; Into the Motherlands; Desiquest; Islands of Sina Una) rather than make a story where a bunch of mostly white characters explain how they are the victims of colonization from two separate sources and only really focus on the one that's way less obvious and true but don't worry they're GONNA FIX IT, maybe, idk, should we open this door? I just don't know! golly gee this is tough!

The second related thought is just that D&D isn't a game that is well-suited to dismantling complex political structures either on a narrative or literal level and also it's pretend so you can do what you want forever. I mean don't call other people slurs while playing it but if we're talking in-world? I genuinely think that people who are unabashed murderhobos in D&D are often perfectly fine, generous, and lovely people in real life, and a lot of people who are like "I unionized the goblins! We're playing non-combat D&D! I de-escalate every situation" are often the sort of person to claim it's ableist to suggest that perhaps you should try to use reusable shopping bags. Like, are you living your values in your real life and capable of critical thought? then who cares if your D&D character is kind of a dick, or the show you are watching doesn't align perfectly with what you believe? And I find people who get overly hung up on how good and virtuous they are for their media consumption tend to be compensating for a lack, or at best a deep insecurity, about how they comport themselves in their real life.

so anyway yeah if the cast actually is like "yes i see this as a decolonialist work" I am going to have Thoughts and Pretty Harsh Critiques but to grant the CR cast the benefit of the doubt here, I think it's just...a mythic, epic scale story that draws from interesting sources (creation myths, the idea of a world created as an envious reflection by a sealed hunger) and didn't come together very well. I cannot extend that same benefit of the doubt to those fans who have argued otherwise, however.

[kindred-spirit-93]

jazzy!! & apollo

hello yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) with my wonderful oc jazzy and a modern au i came up with when i opened my eyes this morning lol. u can find a little lore on ma blog under the #jazzy tag :3

--

aight so for context a few months ago while deep in the trenches of my greek mythology obsession i made a minor underworld diety oc who goes by kore or jazzy. shes my favourite muffin and i love her.

and after reading one too many apollo fics here lmao i really wanted to explore his domains (which i find endlessly fascinating bc its all my favourite things in one: medicine art literature) and learn more about him as a god via a character study of sorts.

(ive yet to write anything for them lol but when i do it will be great :P)

--

anyway back to the story they are teachers!! bc im currently rethinking my life choices and having fun imagining what my life could have been like things went differently (11/10 recommend. great for the blorbos). babys first midlife crisis at the ripe old age of 21 lol

so without any further ado, them <3

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABIES

*slaps hands* aight so context and premise:

cant be bothered to come up with alternative names and clever refernces for everyone so theyre keeping their greek names lol.

not everyone in the pantheon will make an appearance, this aint keeping up with the olympians (until it is)

the setting is vaguely british lol bc its where i grew up and am more familiar with the system and the norms. ish

they teach both primary and secondary school students (this afaik doesnt exist in the uk but it does here so yeah. will elaborate later)

greek mythology adjacent at best i regrettably know very little of the mythos and my one and only reference is theoi. i will do better i promise. as soon as i graduate

in the mean time pls feel free to tell me all about ur fave myths and works and recommend stuff :D!!

--

art stuff, character design, notes

apollo has heterochromia :3 dunno if u can see it but his eyes are olive green (right) and a teal (left). representing the suns reach over land and sea. ALSO FRECKLES >:D

my girl jazzy has the most boring brown eyes ever. no pools of honey or flecks of gold. just good ol dirt brown. *foreshadowing*

short curly hair somewhere between brown and black for her, and floofy kraft singles waves for him XD

jazzy is a knitwear gremlin (like urs truly lol), 24/7 turtlenecks cardigans jumpers scarfs all of it. her hands (and extremeties) are always cold bc bad circulation and probably dehydration. shush

palettes are warm and earthy for jazzy (wow im so subtle) and cool celestial for apollo (and artemis hehe)

so thats mostly greens esp olive, brown and beige and a healthy sprinkle of rose. le aesthetic is forest/ gremlincore for my girl

and lots of blues esp navy and shiny silver and gold for chaotic academia sunshine boi (TIL astroacademia is a thing and like wow)

arts and moodboards and quotes in this century trust

jazzy is of average height (which to me is 160cm hhhhh and apollo is taller at 180cm. do ur own math we use metric in this household)

--

finally concept idea, plot if u will, notes and backgorund info too:

the first thing i thought of when i opened my eyes was literally apollo and his nine daughters the muses. let me finish

i wish i was joking lol it instantly gripped me but alas i had to go to uni and so it stayed on hold and i havent studied more that 3 pages bc im thinking about them

and by thinking i mean going over the same scene in my head and not doing somethinguseful like say expanding lore. as one does.

anyway yes we have apollo the girl dad of all time who has 9 wondeful daughters of varying ages from fist year of uni to toddler

still mapping out details like if from same mother or several relationships. idk what im doing pls respect my privacy at this time

apollo has 2 degrees bc its cool af to me (my dad has two masters and its been on my bucket list since. i dont know why i am the way that i am either) one in nursing and another in english literature (and a masters in translation bc i can)

he teaches english and history tho and the art afterschool clubs. yes clubs plural. i am insane and so is he.

jazzy is a biomed graduate and is currently pursuing a masters in forensic toxicology (sucks that i hade organic chem this would be fun to write) so she teaches bio. probably part time idk.

i will get to the details of lore and what theyre like and their work ethics etc but i is tired and id really like to finish some work before bed lol so goodnight for now and enjoy and feel free to ask stuff ig :3

[hoboblaidd]

ok i think i think im about to hit act 3 so i should be finished and back here soon. some very spoilery and rambling thoughts on what i've learned about solas and the gods up to act 3 under the cut, mostly to remind me what i want to unpack. pls dont post spoilers in the replies.

everything we've learned about the gods and solas so far is perfect. i feel like ive learned so much that im forgetting things so this is my note for my future self.

solas and mythal - i finished Regrets of the Dread Wolf. INCREDIBLE, perfect, fucked up, god i'm here for it and i want to punch her. she is truly the Gaslighter in Chief.

companion spirit - solas being a spirit of wisdom who didnt want a body, and being pulled into one and the world corrupting him into Pride like a demon? chef's kiss. we figured this was the case, and boy im not disappointed. the first of the elves being spirits is awesome. and as an aside, i think their relationship can be interpreted either way, but i see bellara's comment about "love" as support for my headcanon that their love wasn't romantic and was more like Leliana's devotion/love for Justinia. the blight - after harding's quest/regret. "The blight was the severed dreams of the titans." love it love it. really colors solas' inquisition comments about dwarves. so much guilt. betrayal - i am so so pleased that mythal betrayed him to stay as a god while he started his rebellion. so good. mythal essence - i loved the reflection of the petitioner's path and her myths with convincing her to give up the essence willingly. thank god i did a deep dive on mythal earlier. as for the other fragment, im both disappointed and not surprised that morrigan took that fragment into herself. the quest for knowledge never ends.

solas and elgarnan - just finished Blood of Arlathan. WHERE TO BEGIN. so goddamn good and so much to unpack.

solas and ghilannain - not as much as i thought we'd have, but im not bothered.

anaris - i havent finished bellara's personal quest yet, but im so glad we're getting forgotten ones lore.

the archdemons/"old gods" - an awesome twist and another example of solas' half-truths and never quite lies. in inquisition he says "nothing in the lore connects my people with the old god archdemons." he wasn't lying, he was obfuscating.

[ethan-acfan]

More desmond head canons bc I love this man with about 86.2% of my entire being

Desmond has definitely used his nightmares as an excuse for cuddles

Desmond favorite food is tacos I don't know why they just are

Desmond has adhd

Desmond has thrown himself off of a roof to get out of an argument

Desmond inherited Jacob's need for shenanigans and definitely pulls a ton of pranks

He has the stupidest sense of humor, like laughing at a slice of bread falling over type stupid

Desmond has a "why not" mentality that the team hates because he will definitely throw himself from a building to escape because "why not?"

He sneaks up on everyone by accident like his footsteps are completely silent, and he doesn't realize until he sneaks up on someone for the 5th time that day and it's only 12pm

Desmond has definitely mixed pure espresso with redbull and chugged the whole thing because why not (he started hallucinating)

If he ever smokes weed, he would either take a nap or deep clean the whole apartment, finish a project he's been avoiding, and actually close all of the tabs on his laptop.

I feel like before he got taken by Templars, he was really fascinated with the holocaust, like you could ask him anything about it and he could tell you

Definitely takes an ungodly amount of melatonin just to get to sleep (I am definitely projecting rn)

He also has a special interest in greek mythology like greek myths

His favorite girl scout cookies are the samoas (the coconut ones with chocolate drizzled on them)

Desmond has always wanted one of those really fluffy big dogs (like a bernese mountain dog)

After desmond looked through Altair's memories, he started to let his hair grow out so he would look different from Altair

[keyishacolecat]

do you have any book recommendations? pls i need lots 💙💙

this is such a loaded question friend. but lucky for u, i am procrastinating assignments, my take out has yet to arrive, and i just finished another book!

horror fic has been my choice for the last several books

the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi is about a young Pakistani woman living in the UK. she's a translator for Urduru films. language and translation are central to this book. people are becoming fluent in a matter of weeks in complex languages.... the centre is gorgeous if not entirely mysterious, magical even. but whats the catch?? beautifully written. vivid details. anisa is a flawed, honest, and genuine feeling mc, as are the people in her life. i just finished it a couple hours ago n i miss my girls.

slewfoot by brom is set in 17th century Connecticut. our protag, Abitha, is not from this town but she does he best to adhere to the Puritan standards, if not for her well being, than that of her husband's. something stirs in the outskirts of the village, in the forest and beyond. she finds help from an unlikely source while also fostering a deep inner power of her own. these characters felt so well thought out, the writing is magnetic and the action is well paced. it puts so many preconceived notions right on their head. i loved this book and can't wait to read brom's other novel, the child thief, a retelling of peter pan and the lost boys!

sister, maiden, monster by lucy a. synder was oh so gay and oh so cosmically horrendous. this is like h.p. lovecraft wasn't a weird racist. this is like if biblically accurate angels were once just women in love. this is horrifying, visceral, and relevant to our COVID world. i was gawking at so many of the details. there are so many monster themes actually, it's perfect. the story is told through 3 povs of 3 different women. and we love women! and horror! i didn't expect to pick this one up but I'm so glad i did.

mary: an awakening of terror by nat cassidy do u know what it's like to be virtually invisible? forgotten? disaffected? do u know the pure joy of having a precious collection, adding to it over time, and it being almost ur only reason for living anymore?? then you're a lot like mary. and mary is a lot like plenty of women who get the chance to live beyond adolescence, who are cast out by society-- deemed invaluable. mary is utterly lost at a time in her life she feels she should have it all figured out. she goes back to her hometown, an ambiguous small town in the middle of the desert, and some unlikely characters help her piece things back together. i finished this book feeling so close to mary. we are friends now. there is mystique, horror, fables, myths, bad guys, mysterious architecture, and well mary is not the most reliable narrator. loved this one too.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward i had no idea where this book was going and i loved piecing the narrative together through several characters and their povs. it forces u to confront ur own biases regarding mental health. u are sympathetic to the characters in the most painful, heart wrenching ways. there is murder. there is mystery. there is missing children. there are cats. this book surprised me and it was fun to have to find a couple reddit threads to be sure i was understanding the story correctly. i felt like i read this kind of fast! which is always fun too.

brother by ania ahlborn this one pissed me off a bit. but in a good way because i was so deeply invested. this one is set in Appalachia. i'm not one for stereotypes, especially bc i think Appalachians have a bad rep and it's of no fault of their own. that being said, the insular feel of the book and the absolute claustrophobia those mountains create in this story were like a character in it of itself. our protag, michael, knows there's something beyond. he's seen them on colorful postcards. but his own mind and his own heart seem utterly trapped here. this one is heartbreaking. it's horrifying. and it'll make u dizzy from the amount of times u change ur mind. excited to read her other novel, Seed, because this one stuck with me so much!

a couple honorable mentions that fit the theme:

the vegetarian by han kang korean food. infidelity. art. nightmares. inexplicable mindfucks! this story was scary because it felt very.. possible? no monsters this time. no spells. just... the mind deteriorating. could happen to any of us.

a certain hunger by chelsea g. summers what if girlbossing is just a quick pivot from sociopathy?? what if the crimes are so much more gratifying than say, fame or fortune or even love?? women can be sociopaths too, you know!! this one is fun bc the protag is crazy and it's fun to slip into these characters. cathartic even. omg did i mention, she's a foodie too! just like me :-)

[jennyandvastraflint]

Paternoster Secret Santa fics

Hey there, these are all the fics I wrote for the Paternoster Gang Secret Santa exchange! I thought I'd gather them all here in case some of you are interested in reading them!

Lovers' Gloves (3.8k)

(for @capybaraonabicycle I'm so glad you enjoyed it, dear!)

Summary: It is the first Christmas at Paternoster Row since Strax moved in, and Strax was behaving oddly all throughout December. On Christmas Day, he surprises Jenny and Vastra with putting a wrapped parcel at their feet as a gift.

just freaks like you and me (5.6k)

(for @spaceuber it was a delight writing for you, and I hope you enjoyed it!!)

Summary: When Strax tosses an apple he tried to juggle at Jenny, Vastra snatches it out the air with her tongue and begins tumbling back through memories to a much worse time. In the greenhouse, Jenny comes to find her and they talk, and Jenny shares some of her past as well, and they decide to put on a circus show for the Irregulars together with Strax to create some positive memories tied to the tricks they learned at the circus.

battle in the bedroom (double drabble)

(for @marvellouspinecone and it was a marvellous delight writing about Strax for you, and also about Tom and Stonn in the two Greek Mythology AUs! So glad you enjoyed them!)

Summary: Strax is fighting his most formidable foes yet, and they have been lying low in Paternoster Row! He wins.

sun grieving - song remembering (473 words)

Archive Warnings: Major Character Death (canonical in the myth)

Summary: Tom and his lover Stonn meet each other near Sparta and fall in love. A discus throwing contest ends badly. The sun grieves. A flower to feed people is born.

The Fall of IC-4RUS (or: How Stonn crashed on Earth and met Tom in Ancient Greece) (1k)

Summary: Stonn, piloting the IC-4RUS, is following his commander on D4ED-A7US through the solar system, drawn in by the blue planet he sees there. Steering too close to the sun, Stonn abandons his home planet, the commander, and the war, and he navigates his ship to Earth on its last legs. There, he is found by none other than Tom, a young artist in a precarious living situation who is willing to take him in, and the two grow close almost immediately.

longing ocean deep, there's no remedy (5.8k)

(for @trekkingaroundasgard Writing this fic was painful as hell, but it was also fascinating to imagine, and now that I've touched upon Vastra post Jenny's death, I will not do it again XD I'm soooo glad you enjoyed it, even though the meeting with the Doctor was rather short compared to the buildup to it. I feel honoured to have written this for you!)

Archive Warnings: Major Character Death

Summary: Through the decades, the little family at Paternoster Row 13 changes, until finally, with Jenny's death, there is no more Paternoster Row 13 to return to, and Vastra lives on on her own, grieving her dear wife for years to come.

One Christmas, the Doctor visits and comforts Vastra. They have a gift for her.

until the mornings comes to steal you away (6+k)

(for @jennyvastraflint This isn't yet finished, but I am so, so happy to be able to finally write my vampire AU, so thanks for providing an opportunity! I'm glad you are enjoying it as much as I am, and I reassure you the final chapter will be written and posted soon XD)

Summary: A vampire preying on young pretty girls is roaming the streets of Victorian London, making the ruling class fear for their daughters' safety. On a ball, two women meet, one veiled, the other not, and Vastra leads Jenny to quieter rooms so they are undisturbed... One reveal of teeth and a stake later, neither of them can deny the feelings the other woman sparked in their chest.

Navigating harsh employers, a thirst for blood, and increasingly muddled morals, they fall in love in the moon's silver light.

Kudos and comments on any of these are very much appreciated! Do keep an eye out for future announcements of exchanges if you are interested in the Paternoster Gang and would like to write for them! I might soon host another one ;)

[starsandink13]

The White Crow Chapter 4

The door creaked open to reveal an elaborate dining hall. The walls were a deep blood-red with matching tapestries that complemented the dark mahogany floorboards. Glittering from the ceiling were magnificent chandeliers with thousands of crystals that looked like silver tears. But what caught your attention was the large banquet that was laid out. All manners of expensive cuisines covered nearly every inch of the table: from pheasant, truffles, honey glazed hams, and so many others. Your mouth watered at the savory smells wafting off of the table and in your nostrils. The overpowering smell fogged your senses and you almost forgot about the game until you heard a faint clinking on your right.

Your head snapped in the direction of the sound to see Corvin seated at the head of the table, in his hand was a gilded goblet with red stones laid into it. Behind him, a large fireplace was lit and casted a warm orange glow.

"Care to join me?" Corvin lifted the goblet to his lips.

"What the hell is this?" You demanded and put your hands on your hips.

"What does it look like to you?" He responded playfully and took a drink. "I figured that you should enjoy a reward for killing that thing. Feel free to help yourself to whatever you want."

The feast was becoming more tempting as you finally noticed how much your stomach panged. You licked your lips at the food, imagining the exquisite taste of it. As you were about to tear off the leg of a freshly baked goose, you remembered about the myths regarding eating food from fairies and how it would lead to dire consequences. You shook your head and stepped away from the table.

"I'm fine," you said.

"You sure?" He looked genuinely surprised. "I promise that nothing will happen if you eat anything."

"Positive."

"Are you sure you don't want any?" He took another drink from his goblet, the aroma of the banquet becoming stronger. The savory smells of spices and meats made your head feel heavy and your stomach growled even louder.

"I'm fine."

"Alright then," he sighed and finished the last of his wine. "I have a question for--"

"I told you I don't care about those stupid flowers!" You stomped your foot.

"You didn't let me finish," he said. "And besides, it's a smaller thing that I can worry about for the wedding."

"What is it?" You narrowed your eyes.

"What flavor should we go for the cake?" He tapped a slim finger to his lip. "Personally, I'm partial to lemon, but I'm willing to go with what you want or we can do both."

You stood in shock at the fairy as an anger was starting to boil underneath your skin.

"(Y/N), did you hear me?" He asked.

"Yes, I did." You said through gritted teeth. "And I am not in the mood to answer that question."

"Alright then, I'll give you a bit of time to think about it." Corvin stood up and exited the dining room through a black door next to the fireplace.

You looked back to the grand dinner. Maybe there's something in here I can use or at least a clue to where the front door key would be.

You walked the length of the table, looking for any key or anything to help you escape. But all you saw was enough glistening golden-brown flesh, brightly colored jellies, caviar, and other luxury foods to feed a medieval village. You sighed and shook your head, you should have known that was pointless.

Damn it, maybe this was just a giant distraction this entire time! You clenched your eyes and put your fist to your forehead. But then where would he put that stupid front key?

That's when you noticed something white hidden within the dark corner of the dining room.

You whipped your head around to see a sculpture of Corvin wearing the robes of a Roman senator. You cautiously approached the statue, in its marble hands was a large gilded chalice the size of your head. Inscribed on the bronze platform of the statue was the term: In vino veritas.

In vino veritas... why does that term seem familiar?

You clenched your eyes, trying to remember what little you retained from your seventh-grade Latin class. Let me think... if I'm right, veritas means 'truth'. So it has something to do with truth. Vino sounds kind of like 'vine' so maybe something to do with vines-- or maybe grapes! Okay so what do grapes have to do with this?

You tapped your foot and glanced over at the empty goblet left on the table.

Wine is made from grapes, so it would...wait. It means 'the truth is in the wine!' So there's got to be something in the wine to help me get out of this place.

You turned to the statue and looked down at the chalice. Your face was reflected within the dark red pools as you stared into the depths. You were about to reach into the wine--

What if there was a nasty surprise waiting for me in the bottom of it?

The thought of suddenly pulling your hand back missing either your fingers or for your skin to bubble and burn made you squeeze your shoulder blades in disgust. Given what you know, you wouldn't put it past Corvin or any fairy for that matter, to place a trap like that. You retracted your hand back and clutched it to your chest like you were stung by a scorpion.

Turning towards the table, you grabbed a golden fork and slowly dipped it into the chalice. You heard the clinking of metal on metal as the fork caught onto something. With a shaking hand, you pulled it up to reveal a medallion in the shape of a bottle.

You put the medallion in your hand and the statue slid to the left to reveal a heavy dark brown door. In the middle of the door was a bottle-shaped dent. You put the emblem into the slot and twisted it. The door groaned open and a cloud of dust puffed into the air before it settled once more. Coughing lightly, you peered into the door to see nothing but dust and stone.

As you were about to enter it the long, serrated knife next to the goose shined in the chandelier light. You took the knife and put it into your satchel. Returning to the corridor's entry, you took a deep breath and entered into the narrow passageway. The corridor was barely illuminated by the white flames that came from the torches on either side. The only sound were the echoes of your footsteps against the stone pathway. The corridor's cold air smelled strongly of wine and dust, the stench of it made your eyes sting. Biting back the tears, you covered your nose and mouth with your button-up shirt.

Yet as you walked through the stone corridor, the feeling of someone or something watching you grew stronger. You could almost imagine ghostly fingers pressing themselves into your shoulder as a low laughter filled your ears. Your skin broke out into bumps as the air became colder the further you walked down, the feeling of claustrophobia started to settle in as you kept looking at the darkness at the end of the tunnel. Your hand tightened its grip on the knife, the feeling of it brought a slight comfort to you. The hallway became narrower, making it impossible for you to turn back around. You shook your head, cursing your circumstances. The ever-growing darkness and the damp air made you feel like you were walking down some great monster's gullet. Your stomach folded over at the thought of being eaten alive by the house and you shook your head.

Damn it there's no point in trying to scare myself, I already have enough to deal with!

You abruptly stopped as the corridor lead to a vast chamber with multiple passage ways. The cellar was partially submerged in a dark pool of stagnant water that was dyed a dark shade of red from the wine. On the walls, were massive wine barrels stocked on top of each other like coffins in a crypt. Wooden crates floated in the water like bloated corpses in an ocean of blood. The torches on the provided little light, making it difficult to see more than ten feet in front of you. Taking a shaking breath, you put your foot into the waters. An unpleasant shiver ran down your back at the cold stabbing into your leg, but continued until you were standing in it. Thankfully, the water was only knee-deep so it wouldn't be too difficult to wade through; nor damage your work jeans and shoes too badly if you got out fast enough.

You put your hand on the wall and began to trudge through the waters. The walls were cold and damp, making you grimace at the touch of it. Besides the sloshing of the water, the only sound was the dripping of it from the ceiling. You turned left into a passageway and put a hand to where you stored the knife. As you were about to climb over a pile of debris that was blocking your passage, you picked up on the barely audible sound of heavy breathing somewhere within the cellars.

With a quick snap of your head, you turned in the direction of the sound to see nothing.

Just keep moving.

You shuffled past crates, barrels, broken bits of shelves, and wine bottles as the walls became moister and harder to hold onto. You were about to enter a passageway, when the heavy breathing returned: this time it was a little bit closer.

You crouched down behind a barrel as the unseen creature started to move. Because of the lack of light, you couldn't make out the shape of the thing nor its distance from you. The thing let out a bestial screech before it went silent once more.

The fear in your stomach grew tighter, crushing your insides like a vice. The hand holding the knife was starting to shake in fear. You didn't want to let go of it in case of an ambush, so you put it into your jacket's pocket as you tried to calm your nerves.

Move carefully and quietly and keep pressing forward.

The deeper you went, the darker and harder to navigate the cellars became. Soon enough, it became nearly impossible to see three feet in front of you and you had to squint your eyes a bit to make out any shape to avoid running into a stray crate or barrel. At this point, you were starting to lose feeling in your legs from the long exposure to the cold water. You heard a screech coming from your right.

Terrified, you hide behind a fallen over shelf as the unseen predator drew closer. You could only make out the splashing sounds as it came. You bit your lip and peered over the ledge a bit in hopes of seeing it. But with heavy shadows and dark waters, it was impossible to make out where it was or what it looked like.

Floating next to your side, was a small plank of wood. You grabbed it and threw it. The monster sloshed towards the sound of the wood and you began to creep away from it, hiding behind whatever could provide shelter from the thing.

On your left, you saw an ivory and ebony medallion hanging from a stone hand that was attached to the gilded wall that shined brilliantly despite the darkness. You carefully approached it and pulled it out of the hook it was attached to. You put the object into your satchel and as you were about to head back, you stopped. The air went still before the sound of splashing came towards you.

It found you.

Instinct took over and you began to run. You yelped as the thing was now only twenty feet away from you. The only thing you could see was the splashing it made in the nearly-black waters. You stopped for a moment and grabbed a nearby bottle. You threw it as far away from you as possible. The monster turned its direction to the bottle and when it was far away, you began to run faster.

The monster let out an ear-piercing scream that sounded guttural and mechanical as it swam towards you.

Although your legs felt like they were about to give out, you continued to run as fast as you could. The sound of your blood rushing and the sloshing water was nearly deafening as the thing swam closer towards you. Any item you could grab, you threw it at where you think the monster's head was. But all that it did was slow it down a for a moment before it resumed its chase. Its inhuman screams echoed off of the walls like a horrible choir.

A shelf fell in front of you and you jumped over it. The wood cracked in half as the predator smashed its way through it. You yelled as one of the pieces of debris flew over your shoulder. Your calves felt like blocks of ice as you stumbled through the wreckage. Gritting your teeth, you ignored the sharp, freezing pain shooting through your legs.

Come on! Get to the corridor!

As if by some miracle, the sight of the entry corridor came into vision. It was another fifty or so feet away from you.

Yes, there it is!

You threw a barrel at the monster's unseen head to buy yourself a little more time and ran faster. Each step felt like knives digging into your feet. The predator was almost ten feet away from you.

The entryway was now within fifteen feet.

Almost there...

The entry was now within arm's length.

Now!

With a burst of strength, you leapt onto the stone floor-- nearly falling flat on your face as you did so. You yanked out your legs from the icy waters, narrowly avoiding the monster's grasp. Using the wall, you shakily stood up and walked a few more feet away from the cellars, thankful that you were alive. You turned around and took a breath of relief. Suddenly a black, mottled skeletal hand broke through the water's surface and grabbed the floor.

You yelled in terror and made a run for the door. Your numb legs felt like tiny pins were stabbing into them as the creature let out an even louder cry that made your ears ring. The corridor seemed longer as the torches behind you went out one by one. The monster's claws scratched against the floor as it scrambled towards you. Its heavy breathing was drawing near and you could almost feel its hot, rank breath on the back of your legs.

Just as it seemed like there was no end, the open door came into view. Keeping your eyes on your exit, you sprinted towards it as fast as you could. Your lungs felt like it was set on fire as your numb legs threatened to collapse from exhaustion.

Keep moving! You're gonna make it!

The monster snarled and made a swipe for your leg, but you were too far from its reach. Sweat was pouring down your face and clung to your back.

Just a little more...

You nearly fell over yourself as you entered the dining room and pushed the heavy door. The creature shrieked in fury and frantically scrambled towards the door. With what little strength remained, you closed the door in time. The statue slid back into place and you stepped away as the monster banged against the door. It thing let out a scream of frustration before it slinked away from the door and back towards the wine cellars. You put a hand over your chest and fell into a nearby chaise.

"That was way too close," you shuddered and rested your head against the chair's arm. As you were catching your breath, you opened up your satchel's pocket to see the medallion you collected from the wine cellars. In your hand was a medallion in the shape of the comedy and tragedy masks from theater.

I'm assuming for a theater of some kind. Just how big is this house if it has its own theater? You thought and put the medallion back into your satchel as you walked over to the fireplace to warm up your legs.

[kydrogendragon]

Please, can I ask about The Raven King?

Raven King! Yeah, so this was what I originally planned to do for NaNo this last November and just started writing it by the seat of my pants without much of a plan. Ended up not finishing it but I did get a good 20k words into it. It's just a scattering of scenes right now, mostly.

The overall premise is a Hades/Persephone mixed with Beauty and the Beast type fic. Hob ends up going into town on the Winter Solstice and happens to go on the same year when The Raven King comes for "payment". Every fifty years, he comes and takes a soul away from the town as per their arrangement for existing in what are technically his lands.

The warning being that if you light any light on the longest night, the Raven King will come claim you instead. So no one as any fires or lanterns or anything going. Hob, not quite believing such a myth and who is also freezing his arse off, lights up the fireplace in his room. Which, unbeknownst to him, is him basically screaming out to the Raven King, "Hey! Please come take me and marry me!!"

There's gonna be some sort of climactic action, but what it is yet, i've no idea, so most of the scenes have just been them leaving to slowly love each other. A very enemies to friends to lovers bit.

A snippet for ya!:

A female voice shrieked. Hob jolted awake. His vision was empty. Nothing but a void seemed to cover his eyes, no matter where he looked. The voice was muffled, like it was underwater, or he was underwater. What was happening? “Robert Gadling,” a deep, soothing voice called out from somewhere in the void Hob seemed to be stuck inside. “You have lit a fire here in the night, calling me to you. We will depart shortly.” Depart? This was a dream, surely. Besides, who else would have such a perfect voice if not but in a dream? “You’re taking him?” a voice, the innkeep, Hob was pretty certain, asked somewhere to his left. “I am.” Hob’s limbs felt weird, now that he thought about it. They were weak, like how they are after a long hunting trip in the cold, or [ANOTHER REASON HERE]. He tried to raise his arm. He thinks he succeeded? It was hard to tell. He couldn’t feel any wind or warmth. It was truly like he was in a void. Was he? Finally, a sense of panic grew in his gut. He doesn’t know why it took this long to feel this way. He should have felt panicked the moment he opened his eyes and appeared to have gone blind, but better late than never. Frantically, Hob raised his hands to his face and thank the gods, he can actually feel his fingers against his cheeks. He climbs higher, reaching towards his eyes only to find nothing in front of them. Cautiously, he pressed a fingertip to his eye. His eyes are, indeed, open. There’s no lids in front and he can feel the coarse pads of the calloused tips rub against the soft jelly of his eyes. A hand grabs his wrists. The skin is cold, like they had just pressed their hand in a bank of snow and left it there. Hob jerks back at the sudden sensation, but finds himself stuck in the unnaturally strong grasp. “Peace, Robert Gadling.” Ah, so the voice belongs to Mr. Frozen hands. Not that that calms Hob down any. He pulls, testing the grip, and finds that the hand do not move. Not unlike stone. “I beg of you, my lord, he is not from here. He did not know what the fire meant.” My lord? Hob’s stomach sank. The innkeep’s story flashed through his mind. The Raven King, the otherworldly lord of this land. The one that takes with him someone from the village every fifty years as a… sacrifice. “And would you rather I chose another, Alice Thornan?” The innkeep was silent. Unsurprising, but hurtful nonetheless. Hob scoffed. Sacrificed. That was to be his fate. Hob couldn’t find it in himself to be very disappointed, all things considered. If this spared the life of another in the village, then so be it. At least he’d go out saving a life. Surely that would count for something towards his place in the afterlife. Perhaps the gods would even be kind and allow him to reunite with his dear Eleanor and sweet Robyn. Hob could hear some sort of shifting of fine grain or sand of sorts in the background. Then, the gentle rustling of feathers, like a bird preparing for flight. And then that deep voice called to him once more. “Prepare yourself, Robert Gadling. We are leaving now.” The hands that held his wrist left, the almost numbing cold vanishing with it. Moments later, two rather thin arms rucked themselves around his body, one underneath his legs, the other around his back, and lifted. Hob felt almost like a bride, being carted through the entry of her new home. He wonders briefly if Eleanor felt like this all those years back. Although he doubts he felt as cold as the stranger did. Tucked against the sturdy, but still freezing chest, of the Raven King had Hob shivering in his thin bedclothes. If wherever he was being carted off to for sacrificial rituals or whatnot was a long journey, he might die from the chill before making it there.

[mer-acle]

Okay I have a bit of more time now so some ramble about alisha's mortal side of the family. Ig.

Firstly this all happened bc of a show called psych. I watched this back in january bc my mutual kept talking about it and it seemed nice. And since I was getting into pjo back then (big mistake I never should have consumed two medias together) I had a though of what would these people think about a demigod -> what if henry had a demigod child -> henry having a daughter from athena -> the first thought about alisha. And here we are. Yey. Nearly a year later.

Anyway about psych. Shawn pretends to be psychic so he can solve murders with the police department. His father his very annoyed but he is also very proud hehe. Shawn and his best friend Gus are in this secret together and I kid you not it is so hilarious. Those two share one braincell. Its questionable if they use it tho.

Shawn is the "doesnt take responsibilities" kinda person and he def has daddy issues hshsh. A menace for sure. He also has adhd (canon!!) I feel like he would be very thrown of by being an older brother out of nowhere and would be very lost. So ofc I had to give him a traumatized little sister. Also that man would not know about the greek myths so he's like athena??? Who is that? Meanwhile poor gus is like. THE GODDESS??? (he is a nerd and he def knows this stuff)

Honestly Gus and Shawn's friendship is so fucking good and I was like. Oh poor alisha she sees luke and herself in them :(((

The show starts in 2006 and goes on for quite a few years. I am not a hundred percent sure on how I'm gonna handle it but I'll probably pick a handful of eps I like and handle alisha's traumas bit by bit. (Baby is finally healing!!) But one things for sure. Alisha is going to go to there after the last olympian. I need to finish the war first. Oooh and she is 21 here.

I don't have a lot scenes in my mind and they arent set in stone yet but alisha cames looking for her birthfather, she wants to know why he left her, does she have more family, does she want to have a relationship with him etc. She meets with shawn first tho.

There is a lot of shenenigans there but in the end alisha ends up working for their fake company (she solves murders with them as an assistant) bc she and shawn but find the other very mysterious and are like "wtf is their deal??" (Alisha figures out shawn isnt a real psychic or a child of apollo three minutes in. She just needs to figure out why he is doing this) (shawn is going to take a bit longer I'm afraid) but alisha does mention she is here to find her birthfather so the idiots are like. Hey we can help you with that. So they, against alisha's protests, pretend to be a gay couple that adopted alisha and are helping her find her parentage. (They would do this btw. Gus has complaints too but at this point he is too deep in shsshsh) they do find some stuff but alisha finds her father when they visit shawn's dads house bc shawn needed help from him or sth. There is just this uncomfortable dinner.

Sigh. I have a lot of logistics to plan here. Fuck me. Ew. Ooooh also. One of shawn's coworkers, Lassie, hates shawn's ass so bad bc shawn does nothing but get on his nerves. When he realizes there is another spencer he regrets all his life choices. Poor guy.

Sorry me late

Lol I didn't think there was a crossover. It kinda explains why I felt like "Eve thinks I know them why does she think I know them?" Lmao

I have never seen psych lol

I already love Shawn and Alisha

Also the genre shift is awesome Alisha needs a war break lol

Poor Lassie lmao

[sorcave]

I am extremely opinionated however I can respect multiple perspectives and different takes on things....

except for lore olympus.

I KNOW I KNOW IT'S OLD BY NOW AND YOU'RE TIRED OF HEARING "oh lore olympus is sooo bad" whine whine whine, BUT. I will not have this influence another generation.

My younger brother picked it up after I gave him a small book of greek myths and he wanted to look for more. Out of all things, LORE OLYMPUS. but now he genuinely believes this shallow piece of retelling is an accurate representation of Hades and Persephone.

Lore Olympus is nothing more than your average billionaire romance with Greek mythology names on it and written by someone with the maturity of a hormonal teenage girl who thinks she is deep.

The author doesn't have the emotional maturity to properly address the themes raised, and the way each character was portrayed - good or bad - often felt very disconnected from historical portrayals, and instead based on the author's personal feelings and which characters she liked/identified with. I didn't end up finishing the series because I wasn't enjoying it enough to bother continuing, but considering it seemed to get progressively worse as it went along, I trust the reviews that were critical of the ending.

Romanticising the Hades and Persephone myth is not cool, and honestly, it's getting really boring too. As far as the Greek gods went, Hades was arguably one of the "least bad" of the Olympians, but this was far from his finest moment, and people's ongoing preoccupation with this tale because of the "dark romance vibes" is cringe, and rather trashy.

Also, maybe I'm just being petty now, but I cannot stand the art style of this series. It's so low-effort and amateur.

[tristayranambrosio]

Bargain/Myth Day 3 - February 20 DWC

(More Jezza! Slight CW: Sex industry/prostitution) Trist’Ayran is something they only tell of in myth… like when he came into the world it was off the pages of some old music sheet, and some being of pure, beautiful song was made into a mortal. Each freckle on his skin is another constellation I memorize when he breathes heavily, and purples where I had kissed his shoulders, neck, everything… My tusks also leave angry red marks in their wake… and yet for some reason, this being does not resent me for the damage I inflict with a sort of intensity that my heart feels… sings with, when he speaks my name. I’m in too deep… He peers over his shoulder at my shuddering form, and I’m spent past my last breath but I still react to that knowing gaze. “Why… is my war-wolf spooning with me?” I growl annoyed and make to pull away, I’m in too deep, I’m in too deep I’m- Trist touches my cheek and he twists his lithe perfectly soft form to regard me with an expression that takes my breath away. I am paralyzed and contemplating if it is some incubus that has ensnared me and feeds upon my pleasure the heights that only he’s seemed able to reach in me. Had I known… Had I known this creature would see me… “Sorry-” He apologizes and withdraws his had, with it the spell that had halted me, “If you need to go I understand.” He turns away and makes to extract himself from my arms, but something was different about it, that pause… what had it meant!? Why did he apologize, I hate it, his apology for looking at me like that… was he going to ask me to stay? He never did that. “Wait.” I say before I think. Trist is half way into his undershirt, its been mended half a dozen times, and I wonder idly looking at him… really looking at him. He’s… smiling but its not in his eyes, like a snarl or warrior’s glare, that hides the truth in all but your eyes. He’s tired… so tired, and I consider that he had endured that bastard Jerico before he’d arrived to the cabaret. What is that twisted bargain he made with the slimy flesh peddler? Had Jerico hurt my Rose? The bard paused, “Hmm? What is it Jezza? Can I do something more?” There it is, this is about me again… and I open and close my mouth before I finally brokenly say defensively, “I don’t cuddle, you know I don’t like… men-” There’s something like disappointment that he hides in those beautiful eyes and it makes me finish my thought, “But-umm… I want to see you again.” There’s something like hope now and a tenderness that squeezes a fist around my heart I -feel- my Rose bloom just a little after the world seemed intent to make him wither in the face of reality… and rather than balk at my boldness, my confession that wasn’t a confession… He’s gentle when he leans in to kiss not my lips, chest, or more intimate places, and instead presses it to my brow, Gloriously half clothed and haloed in the curtains and lanterns of the Cabaret, his sanctuary, his temple… “I’m always here for you, Jezza, whenever you need me.” He says it like he’s said it a thousand times to a thousand others… and something about that hurts… He thinks I’m like the ones that pay… “I-...” What can I even say? I might as well be like them… who is this Mythical being I’ve touched… what has he gone through? Endured? I want to know now… need to know now… so I ask the stupidest thing because I just can’t handle the thought of being just another one of the people who have never wondered who’s the man behind the mask, “Why do you always smell like roses?” He blinks at me, clearly having not expected it. “Someone gave me one when I was little… they’re… they’re important. Even if I’m so much more a weed, like a dandelion or something… someone thought I deserved a rose.” “... You do.” I say flatly, awkwardly, feeling exposed and not because I have remained undressed. He chuckled softly, shaking his head, “You misunderstand, Roses and Dandelions aren’t so different. They’re both resilient and defiant… strong in the face of all climates… environments, and they remain… even after the rain and the frost… still beautiful.”

“You deserve both.” I say more comfortable. Trist softened, “So do you Jezza. I know you like Pale’s arrangements.” “No I don’t.” I lie. He rolls his eyes and he chuckled, “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” “...Okay.” I want to say so much more. I want to tell him I love roses… I love dandelions… I love… this… whatever it is and it takes everything in me not to break and bring him to my room and keep him there with me all night. Instead I just watch him leave limping a little, but I know he’ll recover by morning… and this stupid part of me is smug that for a few more hours he’ll feel bruises from our tussle and struggle… but I beat that part of myself down. My Rose… my rose that isn’t mine… or anyone’s No more than a Myth can belong to anyone.

@daily-writing-challenge 

[gradstudentdrone]

Grief Diaries, Day One: The Enormity of Grief

Hello Tumblr, I am back.

When I started this blog, I was 30 (!). I was a grad student - hence the name: grad student drone; I was trying to finish my dissertation; I wasn't yet married to MOTL and thoughts of children were completely out of my radar. I blogged fairly regularly, then intermittently, and then rarely. The last post I made was in October, 2017. At that point, I was a year plus into a tenure-track job, I had one kid and was knee-deep in my first year of therapy, after suffering from a debilitating bout of postpartum depression. I thought I'd blog again, but always had something else to do: whether it was hustling to get tenure, realizing that the hustle was misplaced and that the rules were rigged and that academic meritocracy was a myth (all of which I speak about with awesome guests in my podcast, Academic Aunties), trying to survive a pandemic, and - quite honestly - trying to find an identity outside academia. The years since were also full of lots of love -- MOTL and I now have two kids! -- but also a lot of heartbreak, including pregnancy losses and the loss of loved ones.

And it is loss that brings me again to this blog. You see, exactly a month ago today, on June 30, 2024, I lost my dad, Leonides Fulgueras Tungohan, who was 73 years old.

Here he is, at 28, posing with a cig, with shaggy black hair, a precursor to today's shaggy, K-pop hair styles:

The loss was unexpected: my dad had health conditions, including gout and diabetes, but he wasn't terminally ill. Our last conversation was me, kissing his cheek, and telling him "I love you" and asking that he "drive safe" after he and my mom drove away from our house following my kids' dance recitals. My last sighting of my dad was when he was walking behind my mom while my mom and I Face-Timed, wincing in pain as he tried to walk to the couch. "Your dad is having another gout flare-up," my mom explained. I didn't think anything of it. When my dad peered into my mom's computer screen and saw that my kid, SG, was there, he brightened up, as he always did when he saw my kids, and said hi.

To say that these final moments haunt me is to make a huge fucking understatement. In fact, it would be no exaggeration to say that the last month has been a blur. It has been a month of complete and utter heartbreak.

I vacillate between two modes: debilitating, heart-wrenching, absolute sadness or run-of-the-mill sadness. When I feel the former, the enormity of my loss sometimes hits me, so hard, that I have to grip something -- a ledge, a chair, a table -- to keep from falling. When I feel the latter, I'm only kinda sad because I get caught up in day-to-day tasks, such as putting my kids to bed or doing the laundry. In these everyday mundane moments, my sadness is like a low hum -- it's there, in the background, but not so painful that it becomes debilitating.

Whether it's the former or the latter, there isn't a second in the days since June 30 that I am not sharply, keenly, viscerally aware that my dad is no longer here. It takes monumental effort to tamp it all down because when I allow myself to feel the full range of my grief, I collapse. And I can't collapse, not when I still have to live, not when there's so much shit to do, because what is most cruel about death is that with death comes a lot of work. Work that tends to fall on women. Work that tends to fall on eldest daughters. Work that is layered on top of the other work that we've got to still do, from paid work to social reproductive work.

One of my lowest moments in the last week was needing to find space to grieve, by myself, without interruption. And so I bought a ticket to watch a movie - Fly Me to the Moon - by myself. Sitting at the very back, watching couples and friends in front of me murmur and laugh among themselves, I could finally, in the dark, just be.

Having a space to just be is also why I am returning to this blog because it provides me a space to process and find a bit of a reprieve from all sorts of expectations. It's also a way for me to remember my dad, to think of him, to place my memories of who he is in written form. This is also going to be an experiment for me because I want to see just how the next year will be for me. A friend, S, who also lost her dad a few years ago, told me that grief is all-consuming in the beginning but that eventually, you make peace with it and that grief will almost be like a friend, who is always just there, whose presence you just get used to. So my commitment, on day one of my grief diaries, is to track whether I will ever make peace with my grief. Will grief be a friend who is always just there? Because right now, grief is (still) all-consuming and doesn't seem to want to give me a break. Grief isn't a friend yet. Grief and I haven't made peace yet. I have complicated feelings about grief: I want grief to just leave me alone, to stop suffocating me in its pervasiveness, but I also want grief not to ever leave. Because I fear that if grief leaves, does that mean my dad and my memories of him does too?

Along the way, I might write about work and my efforts to truly pivot away from prioritizing work over everything: if there is anything I now know, with absolute clarity, is that life is fucking short, and we all need to prioritize what matters. I might also write about my kids as they deal with the loss of their grandpa, about how my family and I reconfigure our lives to see what happens next. I will also write about the (gendered) work that accompanies death and dying and how the business of death is so grossly capitalist. Hey, I'm a researcher! I can't turn that part of my brain off!

We will see how this year goes. And if you're also working through your own grief, and want to process things with me, maybe we can do it together?

[randomwritingguy]

The Myth of Y/N (Korra x Reader) Part 24

MEETING THE MATRIARCH

Y/N’S POV

The room is silent.

My mind is silent.

Everything is silent.

Good.

Sitting in my all-too-familiar meditation position, I empty my mind. I leave all the worrying and stressful thoughts that I have been feeling these past few days. I let it all go.

Ba Sing Se.

The Lower Rings.

The Temple.

The prison.

And the Earth Queen.

I let it all flow out of my mind like a river. Moment by moment, I feel the crushing weight on my body slowly be lifted until I feel I can fly to the skies like an Air Bison.

Taking one deep breathe and exhaling, I complete the process.

Peaceful and liberating.

In perfect timing, immediately after I finish my meditation I hear the light taps on the door of the small confined room.

“Come in.”

The sound of the creaking door opening brings me fully back into reality. I hear the slight soft taps of feet onto the metal floor.

“We’ve arrived at Zaofu.”

Ah, good.

Opening my eyes, I am greeted by the sight of Asami by the door. She has a smile on her red lips.

“Great!” I respond cheerfully. Rising from my position, I walk towards her. “Let’s go and find this airbender.”

Not too long after we escaped Ba Sing Se, we got a call from the radio about the report of another airbender in a city called Zaofu, home of a so-called Metal Clan. I’ve personally never heard of it, but I am curious. Not just curious of its name but the look of uneasiness and nervousness Chief Beifong had on her face whenever it was brought up. Despite her denials, I feel like she has had some history with the city.

Before I can walk past her, however, Asami places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Of course.” I tell her with genuine behind it. I meant it. “I’m fine.”

To my surprise, her left eyebrow arches upwards in an interrogative gaze. “Have you told Korra and Mako yet?”

She doesn’t specify. She doesn’t have to.

“Not yet. Now isn’t the right time.”

“You have to tell them eventually.”

“I know.” I huff out. “Just not yet.”

Before Asami can retort my attempts at ending the conversation, I hear the incoming steps and then see Korra walking to us.

“Y/N, Asami? You guys all right?”

“Yep!” The black-haired woman confirms with excitement. “Just letting Y/N know we arrived.”

“We’re good.” I tell her with a smile. “Let’s go find this airbender.”

With a nod, Korra walks off and, after a quick glance at each other, Asami and I do the same.

I will tell them. I will. Just not now.

When we finally reach to the intricate stairway just outside of the exit of the airship, I notice Lin still sitting down and looking completely uninterested.

“Are you coming?” I ask her, gesturing to the staircase.

Beifong looks away. “What's there to see? It's metal. Big whoop. Just find the airbender and let's get moving. Don't tell anyone I'm here.”

Huh? She doesn’t want anyone to know she’s here?

“Why not?” Korra asks with curiosity.

The question only seems to enrage Beifong, as she points to us. “I don't need to explain myself to you. Just do what I say.”

Hm. Rude.

“Fine.” Korra retorts with annoyance as she rolls her eyes. “You got it, Chief Crankypants.”

Stepping out of the airship, I notice we landed on one big landing pad of the city. Surrounding the pad, there are mountains of greenery towering over us like giants.

Before I can examine the scenery even further, we are greeted by a man in fine robes of grassy green and sun-like yellow and two escorts. The man has dark skin with piercing emerald eyes and a snow-white short beard. I notice he is wearing some sort of gold jewellery attached on the left of his nose to his left ear lobe.

“Avatar Korra.” He greets with kindness. “It is an honour to meet you. I am Aiwei.”

He bows to us and Korra bows back in humbling respect. “Thanks for having us.”

After the formal greeting, Aiwei gesture to the rest of us. “Is this everyone?”

Ah. Shit. Beifong wants us to lie. Great.

Korra looks briefly back at us, seemingly conflicted as I am, before she looks back at Aiwei. “Yup. Just us. So, can I meet the new airbender?”

“Of course.” He responds. “Right this way.”

He guides us to a tram and it sends us off to the city in a remarkable speed. When we get closer to Zaofu, I am amazed by its beauty. It’s completely made of metal! That’s amazing! The city is full of blinding silver and green! It’s remarkable!

We pass by a statue of…wait, is that-

“That statue honours the first metalbender, Toph Beifong, who expanded the possibilities of what benders were capable of.” Aiwei clarifies as if he read my thoughts. “Here, everyone is encouraged to reach his, or her, highest potential.”

Wow, really? That sounds perfect! Much better than the Earth Queen’s dictatorship.

At the mention of his hero, Bolin gets all excited. “Does Toph live here? Are we going to get to meet her?”

Oh, crap! Are we actually going to meet her?! THE Toph Beifong?!

“I’m afraid not.”

Oh.

“She would visit from time to time, but years ago she left to wander the world, in search of enlightenment” he further clarifies. “No one has seen her since.”

Oh…I didn’t think Toph seemed the kind of person who would do something like that. I can’t imagine myself doing that.

We eventually reach to the end of the tram’s journey at the edge of the city, and I see big, bold, and powerful buildings with their own intrinsic and unique designs.

“Wow.” Korra lets out, sounding like the sight has stolen her breathe away. “Is this where the airbender lives?”

“Yes.” Aiwei confirms. “But first, her mother wants to meet you.”

Her mother?

Our guide walks us to one of the buildings and upon entering we see a group of metalbenders doing some sort of performance. Four of them shoot up metal cables that launch them into the air before landing on metal petals that the other four bent upward for their partners. When they land, the flower closes only to open with all the dancers in magnificent poses.

Woah.

“Is this some kind of training?” my best friend asks with confusion.

“Not exactly, they are rehearsing for a dance premiere next month.”

Dancing? Hm. Fair enough. The performance was very impressive. I didn’t know metalbending could be used like that before.

My thoughts are interrupted with the sound of clapping and I see the source. From the back of her, she appears to be middle aged with short grey hair, with there being a little loose lock of hair on her right.

“That’s it for today everyone.” She tells the dancers, her voice containing a hint of pride.

When she finally begins approaching us, I get a good look at her. She, too, has emerald eyes with crimson reds similar to Asami’s.

“Allow me to introduce the matriarch of the Metal Clan, Suyin.”

“Please, call me Su.” The woman humbly replies, pressing her fist into her palm as a greeting. “Great to finally meet you, Avatar Korra.”

She then turns to the rest of us. “And this must be Mako, Bolin, Asami, and Y/N.”

What?! She knows our names?!

“You know our names?” I ask her, completely bewildered.

“I make it my business to know who's visiting my city.” She clarifies with confidence. Her voice contains power.

“So, you’re a dancer.”

In response to Korra’s statement, Suyin begins counting with her fingers. “Dancer. Leader. Wife. Mother. Collector of rare meteorites. You'll find people here have many skills and interests.”

Damn! So much responsibilities. This place really does seem like a paradise.

Aiwei whispers something into Suyin’s ear and I immediately sense the shift in the atmosphere. Her eyes widen and begins looking at us with suspicion and unhappiness. “Korra, why did you lie when Aiwei asked if there was anyone else with you?”

WHAT?!

My jaw drops slightly while Bolin slaps a hand to his mouth.

How…how did she?

After trying and failing to stutter out yet another lie, she finally gives up. “How did you know I was lying?”

“I’m a truth seer.” Aiwei tells all of us plainly and with sternness. “When people lie, their heart rate and breathing increase. I can sense the most subtle of changes.”

“Thanks to Aiwei, there are no secrets in the city.” Suyin adds on proudly with the same level of stern as her companion.

I frown slightly at the revelation and the confidence radiating from the two.

No secrets?

I mean, sure, some secrets can be bad and harmful but…that seems very controlling. Too controlling. What counts as “secrets” to Suyin and Aiwei? Only secrets that can harm Zaofu or any and every secret in the city like one struggling with their experiences from their past? Part of me doesn’t want to know the answer.

After Suyin’s explanation, Korra relents with sorrow. “We came with Republic City's Chief of Police. She didn't want anyone to know she was here. I'm sorry I didn't tell you.”

Instead of an outraged response from the matriarch, much to my shock I see surprise and excitement paint across Suyin’s face. “Lin's here? Well, I would love to say hello.”

Wait, Suyin knows Chief Beifong? How?

Korra speaks out my, and probably the others’, thoughts. “Wait, you two know each other?”

“You’re joking, right?”

We all stare at her with neutrual expressions. The awkwardness is unbearable. Eventually, I speak up. “I’m afraid not.”

Again, Suyin surprises me. The excitement that once covered her face is now replaced with hurt and sadness. “Lin never told you about me.”

What?”

“No. Why would she?”

I can’t possible predict what Suyin is about to say.

“I’m Lin’s sister.”

WHAT THE FUCK?!

TIME SKIP

We’re back on the airship, all staring at Lin who is gazing out of the window.

“It all makes sense now why you didn’t want to come.” I tell her. “You never told us you had a sister.”

Beifong barely reacts. She just turns around and crosses her arms, frown present. “Half-sister.”

“Same mum, different dads, so what?” Suyin shrugs off. She places a hand above her heart. “We're blood, Lin, and after thirty years, the least you could do is say "hello.”

Wait, THIRTY YEARS?!

“You guys haven’t spoken in three decades?” I let out quite loudly, revealing my shock. “Why?”

“Ask her, I’ve tried.” The matriarch bitterly replies.

This sparks a fiery rage within the Police Chief, as she points at her sister. “Oh, don't put that on me. You're the one who tore our family apart.”

This is getting even more confusing. Suyin tore the Beifong family apart? What?!

Again, Suyin continues to surprise me. Instead of denying her sister’s accusations or display sympathy, she just lets out a smug and sarcastic reply. “And you've done a bang up job keeping it that way.”

Her not denying Lin’s claims and treating this like a joke rubs me the wrong way. This family argument is bringing back memories I washed away.

“The next time we talk, you better tell us you are not joining the Air Nation. If not, don’t contact or visit us ever again.”

Something happened between the two sisters and they haven’t spoken for decades because of that. Could this happen to me? Will I not see my parents again for thirty years if I choose to be an Air Nomad?

I may have my new family, Team Avatar, that I can always rely on but…my parents. I’ve known them my whole life. The change isn’t going to be easy, that’s for sure.

After that bitter reunion between the two Beifong sisters, Suyin proceeded to show us her home and family. She showed us an open field with massive metal columns that acted as some sort of barriers for a disk to ricoche off. The players were her two youngest, Wei and Wing, where apparently they made their very own game. Quite impressive thing they made, I’ll give them that. We were then guided to an area of unique structures made by one of her other children called Huan. He seems…interesting. He didn’t even turn to greet us and only did so when Bolin called one of his its bananas (which, to be fair, it totally did). I can barely hold back my snickers when Huan got pissed at him.

And finally, the one and only airbender.

We walk towards a girl reading some sort of book, sucked into the contents’ reality. From what I can see, she seems to be around our age. She wears tidy green robes and has short black hair.

“And this is my daughter, Opal.”

Opal? A neat name.

At the sound of her name, she rips her attention away from her book and turns her gaze towards us. Just like her mother and aunt, she has emerald eyes that scream nothing but innocent joy.

“Wow, Avatar Korra.” Opal exclaims, her voice high and excited. “I can't believe you're here. You are so amazing.”

“It’s great to see you, Opal.” Korra greets her, just as excited.

I join in too. “It is nice to meet you.”

“Opal?” Bolin enters, sounding surprised. “That’s a beautiful name.”

Huh?

Then, in response to the earthbender’s compliments, I see young Beifong blush slightly and pushes some hair behind her ear and lets out a shy “Thanks.”

Oh?

He then extends out his hand in a greeting gesute. “I’m Bolin.”

She takes his hand. “Opal. But, uh you already knew that.”

Her blush returns again, her cheeks even redder than before.

Ohhhhhhhh…

I nudge at Korra’s side and we lock eyes. I signal towards the two and a slight smirk form on her lips in a teasing matter.

Looks like Bolin has found himself in yet another romance. Well, if it does go anywhere, Opal seems far kinder than Eska was.

Our nice meeting is interrupted, however, much to the unsurprise of Chief Beifong who seems to be in a rush to leave. “Great. We've found the airbender. Let's take her back to the airship and get out of here.”

Geez. She doesn’t even address Opal as her niece, just “the airbender.” That’s cold.

Suyin, on the other hand, isn’t in that big of a rush. “And the woman apparently trying to abduct you is your aunt Lin.”

That makes Opal somehow even more excited than before. “Really? I've always wanted to meet you. My mom has told so many stories about you.”

And Lin? All she does is look away, arms crossed, and replied in a cold and annoyed tone. “I'm sure she has.” I glance back Opal and see hurt and confusion painted across her face and my heart aches with sympathy.

Suyin continues on. “So, I've set all of you up in the guesthouses while Korra trains Opal.”

Wait, what? Guesthouses?

Korra seems just as surprised as I am too. “Oh, I'm sorry. But I was hoping she could train with the rest of the airbenders at the Northern Temple.”

“That sounds amazing!” Opal exclaims at the sound of it all. I’m with her, it does sound amazing.

The matriarch, however, just brushes all of it off with sternness and confidence. “Nonsense. This is where Opal's home and family are. You can train her here.”

I frown slightly at the arrogance within her words. It reminds me all too well with my experiences with my parents and Eshah with her mother.

“With all due respect, Suyin,” I begin cautiously, choosing my next words very carefully, “but as much as Korra is very skilled with airbending, it isn’t all of the culture of the Air Nomads. Korra, knowledgeable as she may be, isn’t fully informed of the teachings of the culture. That is why it is more efficient and helpful if Opal is trained at the Northern Temple by a true Air Nomad along with others who can relate to her. I, too, have been gifted with airbending and I can assure you that Master Tenzin is an excellent teacher and mentor and the culture is magical. I’m sure your daughter would love it!”

As I finally conclude my speech, I glance at Korra and she gives me a smile and nod of approval. That���s good.

Then I glance back at Suyin and I see annoyance in her eyes.

“As I said, Zaofu is Opal’s home.” She responds sternly with a trace of irritation. “Korra will train her there. End of discussion.”

End of discussion? Just like that? She just brushed off my speech like it was nothing? Seriously?!

Anger swells within me and I clench my fists tightly. I huff out some air through my nose, equivalent to how an animal, and I nod slightly. “Very well.”

“Absolutely not!” Lin barks out. “We’re leaving!”

Oh shit, I almost forgot. This Zaheer guy and his friends. Beifong wants Korra back in Republic City at all costs.

Korra doesn’t seem fazed at all. “She's just a little worried because there's a bunch of crazy criminals after me.”

Heh, that’s one way to put it.

“If you're concerned about security, don't be.” Suyin assures all of us, her irritation and annoyance now faded away. “This is the safest city in the world.”

Safest city in the world? Really?

I glance at Lin and I see her roll of eyes. I can’t blame her. That statement from her sister really sounds arrogant.

“Now I'll see you all at dinner.” The matriarch continues. “And come hungry. My chef will blow the taste buds right out of your mouth.”

Welp, I guess we’re staying here for a while. I hope the food is as good as Suyin claims.

TIME SKIP

Credit where credit is good, the food IS as good as Suyin claimed.

It has been a few hours since we arrived at Zaofu. Whilst Korra was busy training Opal I was hanging out with Mako, Bolin, and Asami and just exploring the city. It really is a spectacle.

Now, I am sat in the dining hall with Team Avatar and the Beifong family in a long table that is shaped like an incomplete square. Korra is sat with Suyin and Lin at the end, Huan, Wei, and Wong on the left and Opal and the rest of the team opposite to them.

Right now, I’m just busy with my food. It really is THAT good. As for Bolin, I can hear him chatting with Opal. Them two seem to be REALLY getting along since they met. She is clearly crushing on him. Can’t say I blame her, Bolin is pretty amazing.

As for Suyin and Lin on the other hand…

“Five kids. What a nightmare.”

“No, no. My children are a blessing.”

“Yeah, mom used to say that too, but she never mant.”

Their bickering or, rather, Lin’s frequent criticism of her sister has been dragging the mood a bit. Suyin must have done something really serious to make Beifong this pissed.

Eventually, the conversation stirred towards our quest to find airbenders and the matriarch asked Korra if the search is going well.

“Honestly, not great.” My best friend responds bitterly. “We had to rescue a whole group of them from the Earth Queen.”

The mere mention of the monarch brings a look of disgust onto Suyin’s face. “Oh, she’s horrible. “She thinks she can just do whatever she wants.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

I snort quietly at Lin’s comment. I mean, she isn’t wrong. No secrets in Zaofu? Suyin refusing Opal to leave the city? Sounds very controlling to me.

“I mean, the idea of even having a queen is so outdated.” Suyin continues on, not letting her older sister’s comments dismay her. “Don't you agree, Korra?”

Korra, not really sure how to respond, reluctantly responds. “I ... I haven't really thought about it too much.”

“Well, you should start.” The older woman tells her. “The world is evolving and the Earth Queen can evolve with it or step aside.”

An interesting opinion. An opinion I can somewhat understand and agree to a degree.

“I apologise for intruding.” I speak up, catching their attention. “But I agree to an extent. The idea of a Queen or King isn’t necessarily bad in my opinion. After all, Earth King Kuei’s reign had a positive affect on the kingdom from what I meant. However, the current leader is absolutely disgraceful from what I’ve seen. People like her shouldn’t be in charge. That is why I can see the merit in a council running a nation. The Republic City Council, despite its problems, had the right idea with its ambassadors before it was disbanded.”

With my second speech of the day concluded, I see a glint of pride in Suyin’s eyes. She seems impressed. Leaning slightly forward, she replies “That is very thoughtful, Y/N. It’s clear you have spent a lot of time thinking about the issue.”

I nod. “I have. My experiences with corrupt figures have left a bad taste in my mouth.”

Before the conversation can continue, however, a new voice enters the room.

“Sorry we're late, everyone.”

That voice…

I swing my direction to the right, and I see the infamous ocean eyes, wild black hair, and two thin short streaks of a moustache.

I hear Bolin’s excited gasp. “Varrick!”

What in the spirits is Varrick doing here? He’s supposed to be arrested! In jail! He tried to kidnap President Raiko!

Asami, sitting to my left, asks the question that is plaguing Team Avatar’s minds. “What are you doing here?”

“Great question, Asami.” The flamboyant businessman compliments with overconfidence. “I mean, what are any of us doing here? Wow, food for thought. Any who, how's our company doing?”

“You mean my company.” Asami corrects him. “Future Industries reverted back to me after you plotted to abduct the President.”

“Allegedly plotted to abduct the President.” Varrick counters with an attempt of gaslighting us. “Never convicted.”

…

Really?

“Uh, that’s because you escaped prison.” Mako points out in a slightly annoyed tone. Always the Detective.

“No, the universe decided to set me free.” The inventor counters yet again. His casual tone and legs on the metal table displaying his arrogance perfectly. “So, I looked up my old friend Suyin here, pitched her a few ideas, and bam! We're in business together.”

What?! SUYIN released him?! Why would she do this?

“Varrick's heading up my new technology division.” The matriarch clarifies. WHAT?!

Then, as always, Varrick starts becoming dramatic with his posture and voice. “I've seen the future, and the future is, magnets! I'm working on a high-speed rail that would revolutionize transportation and shipping as we know it. But that's not all, I'm-“

“-All right, that’s enough!” Lin snaps, slamming on the table with rageful strength and standing tall and proud. “I'm trying to keep the Avatar safe and you're harboring a criminal?”

I mean, yeah! Varrick is a criminal! He should be facing some punishment after what he’s done!

Suyin, however, does not see it that way. “Ease out, Lin. Sure Varrick's made a few mistakes in his past, but that doesn't mean he should pay for it for the rest of his life. My chef was a pirate, but now he's a culinary master. People change.”

Her explanation stirs frustration inside. My fists clench tightly.

Few mistakes? How can she simplify what Varrick did down to mistakes? He doesn’t even seem regretful over what he did at all!

Lin, now enraged, points at her sister. After letting out a bitter declaration of “You haven't.” she throws her chair aside and walks out of the dining room, ignoring Korra’s calling, and slams the door shut with her cables.

The room is silent for a few short moments. Then, a sigh emits from Suyin.

“I’m sorry.” Korra apologises, expressing her sympathy.

“It’s all right.” The matriarch responds. “Lin was always strict, even more so when she became a cop. I should have known she wouldn’t like giving people like Varrick second chances.”

I frown again at her words. Lin is “strict” for enforcing the law? What?!

The frustration within me reaches a boiling point and I can’t take it anymore. I speak up.

“To be fair, Lin does have a point.”

Every face turns to me, most of them with wide eyes. Suyin’s eyes, though, are narrowed.

“I’m sorry?” she asks.

My fists clench tighter. “Varrick has done more than “a few mistakes.” He blew up the Southern Water Tribe Cultural Center which could have gotten people hurt in an attempt to exacerbate the Civil War between the Northern and Southern Tribes, framed Mako for said bombing and got him arrested, and, as previously mentioned, attempted to kidnap the President of the United Republic of Nations. They are not “a few mistakes.” He should be imprisoned!”

“Hey!” The businessman exclaims in an offended tone. “Firstly, I owned that Cultural Centre! Can’t a guy blow up his own building? Secondly, Mako has forgiven me for all that framing fiasco! I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s me! And, thirdly, I allegedly tried to kidnap the president! Allegedly! Fourthly…uh, who are you again?”

I hear Mako mutter “No I haven’t” as a response to Varrick’s claims that the firebender had “forgiven” him. I then send the inventor a glare full of daggers right into his face. “None of your concern.”

“Y/N.” Suyin interrupts whilst revealing my name to the flamboyant man. “I understand that Varrick has done some bad stuff but, as I said, he shouldn’t face punishment for the rest of his life for it. He deserves a second chance.”

My anger boils hotter and hotter. Again, the dismissal of his crimes!

“Make no mistake, I believe in second chances.” I immediately reply with power. “But we have laws, courts, and prisons for a reason. To make sure crimes do not go unpunished. Varrick should face justice! The only reason he isn’t in a maximum security prison right now is because he has a smart mind and has deep pockets that can benefit anyone with power and influence, such as yourself.”

The accusation seems to have sparked anger in the matriarch that rivals that of her tense situation with her sister. I can feel the heat surrounding the atmosphere.

“You have no idea what you are talking about.” She retorts with anger. “I am doing this for the betterment of Varrick-

“-By making him the leader of your technology division?” I interrupt her, glaring at her with a fiery rage. “With a mind like his, I’m sure you will benefit immensely with his expertise. In these past few minutes you have dismissed his crimes like they’re nothing which is an insult to the people who have been affected! Varrick doesn’t even seem guilty of his actions at all! And you’re encouraging that mindset by giving him fancy robes, delicious meals, free roam of the city, and all the resources that can be used to his desire to invent something that will benefit you. This isn’t for the betterment of Varrick, this is for the betterment of yourself. For your ego!”

“Y/N!” Korra barks out.“That’s enough!”

What?!

I glance back at her and I see her eyes narrowed with rage. I glance at the others, and I see disapproving or neutral expressions but I can sense that they disagree with my claims.

Korra’s fine with this?! My friends are fine with this?! HOW?! This isn’t some noble act! This is an insult to the justice system! To the law! To fairness!

Pulling back my chair, I rise and place my cutlery onto the plate. “I have lost my appetite. Thank you for the food, it was delicious. Enjoy the rest of your dinner.”

I glare at Suyin, the matriarch glaring at me right back with her own fiery anger.

And then, in complete silence, I open and slam the door of the room and march away, leaving everyone else behind.

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And that's it! I hope you all enjoyed it!

Feedback is appreciated!

See you all in the next chapter! :D