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sadsongsandwaltzes · 9 months ago

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And why do you assume that I don’t?

There are remnants of the past that remain. We still sing Norwegian hymns at Christmas and eat Norwegian food (well… the stuff that’s good anyways). We have rosemaling art. We learn about our ancestors. We hold onto in practice what brings us joy (like good food) but let go of everything else.

Why?

Because I don’t have a connection to it. Norway is not my country. I have never been there. I don’t know anybody there. I have my own country’s Independence Day to celebrate. I’m not against celebrating syttende Mai, I just feel no obligation to it or care to go out of my way for it. But I am very proud of those who came before me and the uniqueness of their own culture, as I think everyone should be.

But with syttende Mai in particular, there is a giant barrier that comes up between my great grandparents generation and my grandparents generation that seems to have made my grandparents the last to have any sort of connection or loyalty to Norway, as a country.

My grandparents grew up hearing their parents and grandparents (if they were around) speak Norwegian, but they never learned it themselves because their parents refused to teach them the old language. Because “you’re American, you speak English.” The immigrants mindset of respect to their new country put them in a position to force their children into assimilation at the cost of their own heritage in some ways. So my grandparents grew up with exposure to the language. They saw their parents send Christmas cards to the family still overseas. They had a secondhand tie to the old country, but because this barrier was put up by their parents, they didn’t really learn it, which means they had no ties to pass to their children (my parents generation).

Of course certain families might still celebrate syttende mai. I think bigger towns might have a celebration. Idk. But I do think it’s worth noting the difference between holding onto the art and such of a country vs holding onto… the actual country. This is where the difference lies. I have a sense of loyalty to my family that came before me, but I don’t have a sense of loyalty to the country from which they came. And it would be quite delusional of me to pretend that I did. The family ties are too distant and severed at this point to pretend like I know any distant relatives that are over there. I don’t know the language besides small words or phrases you pick up on. I don’t have a sense of loyalty to Norway. As far as that goes, I have a sense of loyalty to my own countrymen. That would be Americans.

I don’t feel indifferent about my ancestors and who they were. but I do feel indifferent about Norway itself. What’s my connection to it? My home is in South Dakota.

But of course, this opens the door for a philosophical discussion about what it means to “be” something? What does it mean to be Norwegian? I mean I tell people that I am when discussing heritage, or when trying to explain certain cultural phenomena that has remained, but I’m not Norwegian in that sense that I’m actually from Norway. So we can talk circles about this forever. By my connection to Norway is incredibly abstract and exists in history. It shows up in my Christmas traditions, in my fair skin. It shows up in my values (hello Scandinavian stoicism).

But yeah. It’s a question of identity. I don’t identify with actual* Norwegians anymore.

*live there, speak the language, have at least visited there, have any tangible connection to the country at all in any way shape or form

I guess it could be summed up that my grandma thinks of herself as American First, Norwegian Second. I only think of myself as American. My Norwegian identity exists in a more abstract sense.

Syttende Mai is on Friday this year

#and tbh #I don’t think my great grandparents would care #considering they WANTED their children to identify with American culture #the only reason they celebrated syttende Mai #was cuz they had a reason to care about the country itself #because they either lived their themselves #or they knew close family there

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mosquitogirl · 3 years ago

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im an artist n i get so anxious thinkin abt when this aesthetic wave tht we're "in" (think pale avant archive fashion, liminal spaces, white ink tribal flame tattoos. it's all over tumblr and creeping onto ig u cant miss it) will end. i followed my own ideals without thinking abt if it was the zeitgeist or not to this point, trying to not look at contemporary influences. and now that i'm here i can sense it will be seen as corny and get co-opted very soon. idk just seeing if anyone else feels this way or advice? ig my advice to myself is just let go, stop coping, just research all over again to establish new ideals or whatever...

hiii thank you for your question!! i guess i should start by saying that i feel like im not really aware of any of these trends you mentioned?? i mean liminal spaces yeah but idk about the other two. but like maybe that just goes to show that everyone has their own “bubble” online (sorry i know thats trite but its also technically true lol) and trends can be hyper-concentrated on certain platforms and in certain communities. its possible that because im not on tiktok at all that i completely miss certain trends that everyone may be tired of at this point. with that said i do think with there are certain trends with tattooing now lol. the one ive noticed a lot lately are the symmetrical intricately-designed spiky gate things. or like black metal band logo style abstract designs

as far as making art goes, i really only know my own experience and what my friends have told me about their own processes. for my own purposes, i think my best work comes out when i am consciously not thinking about what im going to draw and just following wherever my brain takes me. most of the stuff ive made that was gimmicky or trendy (ex: buff garfield shirt if youve been following me for a while) ends up being something i regret down the road lol. as an artist it doesnt feel good to be tied to one thing till the end of time and especially if its something people will look back and cringe at like 2012 pizza pop punk shit.

having said that i do worry that the stuff im drawing right now is too much like things that are trendy, especially as im trying to get into tattooing and there are certain styles that are very popular. ultimately all you really can do is be true to your personal influences and never let anything youre doing be a cheap copy of just one of them. not that everything should be a pastiche, but rather your art should be a unique reflection of you and the blend of influences that only you could have, if that makes sense.

i hope this helps!! feel free to ask me follow ups anonymously or you can just dm me on here <3

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falindrith · 3 years ago

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ope i forgot to write the tumblr ace week post about me.

we keep things academic here but tw/cw for a tiny bit of sex talk in the abstract.

i was going to write this earlier but i kinda forgot because i didn't have power for 4 days but sure let's see if i get it in before midnight pacific lol

so most of you all here already know, but just in case, you should be aware that i'm asexual. i also probably don't have to explain what that means, but also just in case, it means i don't experience sexual attraction. turns out, that's the only qualifier, so the range of ace experiences is pretty big.

might as well add a bit more detail here.

i actually resisted using this label for a long time, and the primary cause of that was that no one actually taught me a couple key things about what "asexual" meant. first, there are multiple kinds of attraction; second, attraction and libido are separate; and third, aces can still do the horizontal mambo all they want (or don't want) and and can even be a little to a lot kinky.

for quite a while i didn't know where i fit, mostly because of those last two points. legitimately did not realize until like a few years ago that the label still applied to me despite my uh, checks notes, extremely specific kink (long-term mutuals can ask if you're curious but depending on how well i know you i might not elaborate that much sorry, there is an ad twitter lmao).

at least now im comfortable using the ace label, though i'm like unlearning basically a lifetime of purity culture (it's real easy to internalize guilt when you feel like you're not "allowed" to experience something). so that's fun. it's a work in progress tbh. mostly centered around trying to convince myself that i'm allowed (maybe even encouraged? idk) to feel good about this part of me.

also isn't it funny that i fell into like every ace meme stereotype before i even knew. weird how fal's color scheme is silver/black/purple, and weird how i'm a dragon fanatic, and also weird how i do think cheesy garlic bread fucks.

oh wait one last funny story. when i was in high school i was on the swim team and was very good at long distance events. we had like club swimming (year round) and high school team stuff (gender split, partial year). high school swimming did not do the long distance events so i never did it. this meant that for like three months practice was just me and like 40 girls. which you'd think for a high school teen would've been a galaxy brain play but i legitimately just wanted to be left alone to swim a mile. i later quit swimming to do technical theater so like i mean the signs were all there i guess lmao.

ok cool we made it in before the technical end of ace week on the west coast good job team (and by team i mean me and my 70 dragon plushies)

#ace week #about me #this is a blog too right #maybe tmi but my parent's don't go here so #i can say whatever i want

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ronanvespertine · 4 years ago

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At one point Tokoyami is drawn in this coat with a fluffy collar that looks a hecknof a lot like Hawks; I’m just observing, and Tokoyami is extra enough to low key cosplay someone. I wonder if Hawks notices ><

Really?! Where is that pic?! I wanna see!!! TT^TT

And yeah, he actually does low-key cosplay, haha. Canon notes say that red choker was inspired by his favorite hero, Dark Crystal, after all. And he wears it everyday. Maybe Tokoyami has a hidden hero worship thing going on—kinda like Hawks with Endeavor LMAO! XD (although that choker is probably just convenient reasoning to hide where the yellow bird head/beak meets skin haha)

Hmm, as for Hawks noticing it...idk. Actually, I wonder what Hawks thinks of Tokoyami in canon. Separating from my fanon headcanons (oof, it’s hard to do that lol), this is what I think Hawks canonically thinks of Tokoyami so far:

Impressed by Tokoyami’s guts to go after his ass.

Hawks likes fighters, and Tokoyami is definitely not afraid to fight him haha! Hmm, how do you describe it.....it’s kinda like being competitive. Like you stand at the top in something, but then you see someone genuinely trying to match you, and it lights a fire in you. And you can’t help but want to pay more attention to that person and get them to fight harder. While also dancing out of their reach because hey, why make it easy for them? XD

It’s also similar to how Hawks looks up to Endeavor, in a way. The only person genuinely trying to match All Might, even when it’s impossible. I wrote about it a bit in Hawks: The Man with Puny Wings. I want to write more about Hawks’ admiration for Endeavor, though. Because there’s a lot of stuff you could explore there.

When someone is genuinely trying their hardest to beat someone/something, you can’t help but cheer them on. That’s what I think Hawks is like for Endeavor and Tokoyami. Trying to help both of them reach their goals, and reveling in the feeling of watching Tokoyami improve. There’s also the whole thing about Hawks’ impossible dream correlating to both of their goals, but I’ve talked a lot already lmao!

Tokoyami has potential.

Hawks recruited Tokoyami partly because he was miffed that Tokoyami was neglecting one of his strengths. I mean, seeing as Hawks didn’t just outright tell him from the get-go, I don’t think Hawks really intended to fix that bit himself, haha. He only wanted Tokoyami for information, after all. But since Tokoyami went out and tried to chase him down....might as well spend some time helping him improve.

Hawks on default seems to just leave people be and not expect them to try their hardest, I think. Like, he doesn’t push people to improve, just flies in and does the work himself. And seeing how he saw Endeavor as the only guy trying to reach All Might, he might think other heroes don’t try as hard as him and Endeavor do. That whole speech at the charts was him looking down on the others for being cowards, after all LOL. Hawks might think of people as wasted potential or something. That they could do so much more if they tried harder. But they don’t. So Hawks just gives up on them, too.

(It’s kind of like that person who does everything for a group project, LMAO! Like, you give up on anyone else doing the work, so you just do it yourself, haha! Or you just figure that the project will come out looking like shit if you have others do it, so you just do most of it yourself to get the best results.)

Tokoyami didn’t give up, so Hawks decided to try investing in him. (Lol weird word choice) And seeing someone’s potential actually coming to light and building itself....I think it must satisfy Hawks even a little. Again, in a world full of people he thinks don’t try their hardest, seeing people who do try to go beyond their limits must give him some kind of positive emotion.

(I’ve written about this somewhere andihiuhwan I don’t remember where LOL!)

Eager.

Hawks said he wished he could’ve worked more with Tokoyami. Probably to watch him grow and stuff. It’s like the excitement you see from watching someone progress. It’s fun to watch someone strive past their limits! That’s what makes protagonists so cool. Following their progress. I feel like I’m just repeating myself, though, so we’ll leave this at that, haha!

And as much as I’d love to emphasize the impact they have on each other, Hawks prioritizes his heroism first. He left Tokoyami behind on the work study for his mission, after all. Tokoyami is probably a secondary priority or something, unfortunately. If he’s even considered a priority at all. Maybe Hawks thinks of Tokoyami like he’s a side project or something, hahaha!

And as for Tokoyami’s side of things, I don’t really know if it’s hero worship or a genuine wish to impress a mentor. It’s still really cute though, haha! I’d rather it was just a genuine wish to impress a mentor. I don’t really see a lot of hero worship in Tokoyami. And, well....the relationship between a student and teacher is really powerful.

Seeing Tokoyami want Hawks to see his improvement was really powerful. I don’t know how to describe it, but... I guess seeing Tokoyami have a goal in mind was awesome. And it was such a genuine wish, too. Because yeah, sure, we know everyone wants to be a hero. And everyone wants to try their best. But why? Sometimes the reasoning is really shallow. And other times, the reasoning is really abstract. But to show someone their improvement? It’s much easier to see that.

Tokoyami wanting to get better to show Hawks how much he improved....it’s so cool. I can’t express how much I love it, hahaha! It’s just so genuine. Like, y’all get me, right? Especially when we read that chapter—having Tokoyami’s thoughts on wishing Hawks could see him contrasted with the heaviness happening between Hawks and Twice. I think it means so much that Horikoshi showed us that side-by-side. Something genuine and pure contrasted with Hawks’ darker work.

Like, is that the only thing Hawks’ heroism can bring? Pain and suffering? No. Hawks can inspire people. He inspires Tokoyami. His heroism isn’t all dark. And that’s the one thing I love about Tokoyami being a part of Hawks’ story.

Tokoyami’s a beacon of light in Hawks’ darkness.

(haha, making connections with the tokoyami fic lol. I talk briefly about the definition of a hero. One of them is that a hero should be a beacon of light. This would make Tokoyami so, so much more important for Hawks. And if you’ve read the fic, you’d understand the significance this would hold for Tokoyami as well. Tokoyami being a beacon of light—despite being destined for the dark.)

AAAAAAAAAAA THERE’S SO MUCH THAT I LOVE ABOUT THE BIRD BRO DYNAMIC GUYS I CAN’T TELL YOU ALL HOW MUCH I LOVE IT JSAHWIUHAJBC;HWO—

#ronan answers #anon #tokoyami fumikage #bnha hawks #bird bros

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #291

“clothes trailing from the backdoor, to the bedroom, and i don’t even know your name.”

What was the last health scare you had? So I got blood tests done recently to check multiple things, and I got pretty nervous when my doctor stood beside me going through the numbers and what they meant. I was afraid she was going to tell me I had diabetes (runs in the fam, and my diet hadn't been great) or something, but I was fine. What is your favorite food to cook? Something in the microwave lmao. Do you listen to bluegrass music? Ew. What was the last novel you read about? Well it' s part of a series so it'd be hard to explain briefly... but dragons. That'll do ig, lol. If there is a tree right outside your window, what kind is it? There's a small one. Idk what it is. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. What is your favorite thing to draw? If you take a look at my work history... I apparently love drawing meerkats screaming for one reason or another lmao. Do you like abstract art? Not very much. There are of course exceptions to this, but it's definitely not my favorite and sometimes doesn't even feel like "art" to me. Would you ever want to be a painter? No. My Painting course in school taught me it's too damn stressful, the idea of messing up. Even though it's technically fixable. There's just a lot about painting I don't like. I'd much rather draw and color traditionally. What is your passion? Some of my biggest consists of gay rights (or really just equal rights as a whole), meerkats, pacifism, photography, just art in general, stuff like that. I feel things very deeply, so there's really a lot. What fascinates you? NATURE!!!!!!! SO MUCH ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Do you have art on your walls? In my room, I have three of my meerkat projects on the wall with my meerkat collection, and my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun overlap drawing is with my Silent Hill stuff. What kind of collection would you like to start? I have a decent amount of stuff, but I really would love to pump up my SH collection. It has SO much merch that I would die for, stuff is just mad expensive. If I was to start a new collection, bitch I need Markiplier stuff so bad, I'm too awkward to ask for that shit for holidays 'n stuff. ;;_;; Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I sure do. If you had the money, would you travel the world? I feel like I'd go to less locations than most people you could ask this question, but I'd definitely go places, yeah. If you could travel the world, which country would you want to go to first? South Africa. Make my meerkat dreams come true. :') Do you get drunk? I haven't before, and I don't actually aim to when I drink (which is very rare) and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I doubt I ever will. Don't feel like I'm missing out, honestly. Do you get high? Nah. Have you ever used a prescription medication to get high? No. Does sunlight make you happier? Guys. This is science. I used to hate the sun so much, but it's good for you. Open your windows on a clear day; your body will thank you. It takes getting used to, but please, don't coop yourself up in the dark. Do you live a boring life? My life is excruciatingly boring. Like not to sound depressing, but half the time I wish I wasn't even alive because I'm so bored lmao. Have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? Do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse? No, but it's been threatened upon me. I don't support it, no, but then again I don't believe in traditional "profanity." My hypothetical four-year-old could say "that fucking hurt" in our own household, and just a simple word indicating (s)he was really in pain wouldn't faze me for a blink. I do believe out of respect though, that you should educate your children when "profanity" isn't allowed, like in school and such. You don't shove potentially toxic shit into your kid's mouth to teach them something. What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore? This definitely depends on the child. Are they spooked easily? How mature are they? Do they understand what's not to be replicated? It would vary with the film, too. Do you have any wind chimes outside your house? How many? No, but I'd love to. Wind chimes are great. Do you have a flat stomach? Would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off? I hate my stomach more than I do any other part of my body, so guess. Would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)? omfg hell YES Do you think your biological parents love each other? They're long-divorced and Dad's been remarried for a long time while Mom only has negative shit to say about him, so like... What's one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet? *Dying* to, I don't know if one exists. Birds of Prey probably tops my want-to-see list, though. Harley moving past Joker? Girl you fuckin go ilu. What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me because of my illnesses. Nope, he sure didn't. Does thunder & storms scare you? Nah, not usually. It's funny, I was TERRIFIED of them as a kid, especially if I wasn't with my mom, but now I find them beautiful and sometimes even relaxing. Now, wind, I fucking hate wind. I associate bad winds with tornadoes, so fuck outta here w/ that. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. Do you sing in front of people? NO. Who are you the most uncomfortable around? Groups of older men. Are your parents overprotective? No. A recent creation that you’re proud of? I took family pictures for a repeat client recently, and I'm really happy with how some came out. Who’s your favorite comedian? Living, I'm unsure. It was John Pinette. What makes you squeamish? Vomit and fecal matter top the list. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Maybe a couple that I don't know too well? Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? No. I see a lot of potential problems with that should it become a serious thing. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? Probably my dad. What’s a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? A snake. I was eventually allowed though obviously, and now Mom loves Venus, though she won't hold her. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? It's not my job to change anyone else. You have to want to change. Has your house ever been broken into? No, but my childhood home almost was by a gang. My older sister and her best friend were home alone at the time. Thank fuck they didn't get in, but they left a gang flag on our porch. Would you consider yourself a good flirt? I have no idea. What color do you wear most often? You mean to tell me black isn't the only primary color in people's wardrobes? Do you like your hair? Disregarding the fact it gets oily way too fast, yes. Have you ever driven while under the influence? No, I would absolutely never. Did you enjoy your last kiss? Yeah. Would you ever take boudoir photos for a significant other? (or have you?) Considering I literally love boudoir, I would if I didn't hate the fuck outta my body and would be too embarrassed to ever do it. What is your biggest guilty pleasure? Maybe makeup guru channels lmaooo. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but actually ending up enjoying? I'm unsure. I don't really go into watching a movie I think I'll hate, especially when I watch so few movies to begin with. Do you like where you live? I'm not a fan of the suburbs, but it's a better place than where we were. Are you a jealous person? I'm learning that apparently I might be, at least sometimes. Is there anyone you want to fix things with? There are a few. Last time you walked further than a block? I couldn't tell you. I walk a few feet (that's not an exaggeration) and am in pain because of the muscle atrophy in my legs. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NO. NUH-UH. NOPE. Do you get dessert normally while out to eat? No. Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever found a stray dog & found its owners? Not that I recall. Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Not everything, no. When was the last time you told someone you love them? Last night. Who was the last person you talked to last night in person before bed? Ma. When was the last time that you were genuinely happy? Good damn question. Have you ever dyed your hair? Plenty of times. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? I don't know; when you hate your body enough, you'll do a lot to avoid that. Last person you kissed, have you cried in front of them? Yes. Ever dated someone who was gorgeous but they had a conceited personality? No. A conceited asshole is the last kind of person I'm dating. Would you prefer a kiss on the cheek or neck? Well I mean what's the vibe lmao Do you like to cuddle? Yeah, if we're a close couple and it's not too hot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? Nah. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I wish we could, but even if he was willing, I don't think "friendship" is possible between us. What is something “cheesy” that you own? Ha, I have this feminine-looking "she believed she could so she did" wall decor thing... I can't remember if I bought it or if it was gifted. What is something that gets your creative juices flowing? MUSIC!!! What drink are you most likely to order at a bar? Some kind of margarita. What is the most interesting class that you took in high school or college? Mythology, I guess? When was the last time that you’ve ever played Spin the Bottle? I never have to begin with. If you were an adult film star or a stripper, what would your stage name be? I can't even try to entertain this question. Even if I WANTED to be one, I would never be hired. I couldn't seriously think of a name. Have you ever wanted to be a cheerleader? No, not even when I was one as a kid lmao. Have you ever been dumped? What was the reason for it? Yeah. The first one, he couldn't handle my depression anymore. With my last partner, we kinda had a mutual agreement that to save us from potential later heartbreak, we needed to work more on ourselves right now. What was the last R-rated movie you watched? Hm. Idk. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Have you ever had lice? No. What is the most childish thing that you still do? I mean, with RP, you could argue that I still "play pretend." Have you ever watched a movie you knew you shouldn’t? As a kid, I'm pretty sure I was not supposed to see whatever Scary Movie film it was when I did, aha. Have you ever wanted to try LARP (Live Action Role-Play)? Nah. I'm awkward enough explaining I just write it. If you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did, what would it be? The "thanks for sending me to the hospital" message to Jason. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever embarrassed you? Jason did before, if we're counting past partners. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? I never thought of that in any relationship, no. Have you ever been caught checking someone out? Not to my recollection. Not that I even do that much. Have you ever cried because you missed your parents so much? Oh, absofuckinglutely as a little kid. I had BAD separation anxiety from my mom. Have you ever posted something on social media that you regret? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever ding dong ditched someone? No. Which is worst: Snakes, scorpions, or spiders? I adore snakes. Some spiders scare me, especially if they catch me by surprise. Scorpions aren't native here, so I've actually never come across one, so I'd probably be more curious than frightened. Is there an attic and/or a basement in your house? An attic, yeah. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? Has anyone not? Well, I suppose this depends on your environment. Playing outside in the country as a kid a lot, and especially walking through tall grass to reach fishing spots with Dad, I've had lots. I'm terrified of parasites so those were never fun times. What color is your mom’s car? White. Have you ever had a bird or a squirrel in your house? No. How high off the ground is your bed? The average, ig. What is the cutest breed of dog? That's such a hard question, but I think I tend to lean towards pugs, though I don't support breeding them or any other type that is a medical catastrophe. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Holding a conversation. I call BS. What does your bedside lamp look like? It's a creamy color with a floral design. It was already here at the house when we moved in. Do you like your neighbors? I don't know them. Does your room need to be cleaned? I need to finish decorating it... and dust the dresser. What was the last bug you saw? Ugh, a fucking ant. This house has had an ant problem before, and now they're showing up in my room here and there. Do you place any value in gender roles? Literally zero. Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Well, I suppose it would depend on the person. How strong is that platonic relationship? Are you in love? Do you want to be? I don't think *in* love anymore, no; I reasoned myself out of that. I think most people WANT to be in the name of companionship, and being a pretty hopeless romantic, your wild guess would probably be right. Would you be happy with a life without romance? I'd live. Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No. If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Nope. Religion only ever brought me confusion, pain, and frustration. Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am very much a believer in free will and that you sculpt your own fate. Was your childhood happy? For the most part. What are you missing from your life? Excitement. Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No. And if my country did something fucked up, I wouldn't stand with the masses just because I live here. What’s the latest YouTube channel you’ve discovered and binge-watched? Snake Discovery, like, hardcore. Does it snow where you live? Every now and then, but it's super rare for the snow to stick, and it's maybe even rarer that we get a good or fun amount. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? UGGGGHHHHHH I AM SO MUCH HAPPIER W/ SHORT HAIR. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Not really on my phone, no. I don't have good image quality on my phone, so editing tends to make it worse. What’s your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO if I'm actually in a place with spawns. Which season do you wish would last longer? Sigh, autumn. At least here, the colorful phase is pretty short. It's like... green leaves one day, a beautiful display for a week, then the trees are bare. It's still my favorite season, though. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? Nah. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, duh. Would you ever consider naming a child after a family member? No. I've got nothing against people who do, but I've just never seen the appeal of it at all. I would want my hypothetical child to have their completely own identity.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''not the american average'' by asking alexandria

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pochapal · 5 years ago

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ok, so. this is probably a post i should have made back in september, but i hadn’t fully exhausted all chance of denial yet. i guess i wanted to be certain? but i never got that certainty lol. i’ve just been feeling mad confused over the last four months instead, i guess worsened by the fact i was willfully obfuscating what i was genuinely confused on vs what i was straight up denying/repressing to myself vs what i was just absolutely terrified to admit existed. anyway, i performed a pretty decent rendition of my usual “bury it until it goes away” trick but this thing was not buried and also did not go away. i don’t know, i just tried really really hard to make this whole thing not be the case, reasoning that this could be any number of other things. i explored those other things. they were not this. and even now i’m like absolutely fucking terrified but also i know that there’s probably literally nothing else that fits or is plausible in anyway, and like so it’s just i guess i can’t keep slamming my head in the sand for the rest of forever, even if i have no fucking clue what it is i’m doing or how to actually do it. fuck sorry this is really rambly but i have to preamble here really badly so that i’m actually saying stuff, and also i’ve never actually gone through this whole disclosure process with anything ever so really extra don’t know what i’m doing^2. all i know is that i know what i know, and what i know is that i’ve exhausted every other possible option until all that’s left is this hypothesis i’ve been desperate to disprove and i don’t know i just feel like i’ve gotta just up and face it so here we go.

i think i’m trans.

i mean, if the 80,000 word transfem narrative i’ve been writing didn’t give it away i don’t know what would lol. idk i have a lot more to probably say on this vis a vis my whole experience but i’ve already redrafted and deleted this post four times and i sure am feeling a bunch of uncomfy emotions at even fucking pressing the post button and i really could talk myself into another corner because suddenly i’m gonna make this all painfully real and that is probably the scariest thing i could do because suddenly this is gonna go from an abstract idea in my head to a genuine thing with measurable impacts on my material reality and yeah um. oof. haha lmao not gonna lie this is really actually genuinely terrifying but not even really acknowledging it has been getting harder to do as time goes on so when it comes down to it there was never really a choice here just how long i could put off the inevitable. i’m really freaking out because is just a whole big thing that i’m going to put out there but i really don’t think i could have realistically kept going as i was for much longer. so here i am, finally shoving my foot over that starting line.

i guess re: identification and whatever..it’s kinda complicated and not something i’ve let myself consider a whole bunch, on account of the whole “oh fuck i don’t want this to be happening” thing. all i know is that i don’t think being male is precisely viable anymore or has been viable for a long time. so as of right now i don’t have any kind of preferred name or any idea what that would be, but i think going forward, my pronouns are probably gonna be she/her. i don’t have a label yet for what exactly i am, but all i know is that it’s As Far Away From The Identity Of Man As Possible if that even makes sense. i still have a lot of work to do wrt pretty much everything, but i think this is the time for that first step to happen. one last thing: as of now, this is a tumblr only event, so please do not mention this in any other context unless i’ve already gone ahead and announced it myself first.

if you got all this way thanks for reading and sorry this is the messiest least coherent coming out post out there but i’m feeling pretty incoherent right now so yeah. here we are

#:)#do not reblog #bro i'm literally gonna be sick this is the hardest thing i've ever done in my entire life wow i'm feeling awful #also let's ignore how i've sat here for days staring at this in my drafts too scared to post

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anonymoustalks · 5 years ago

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It has a Confederate soldier memorial and statue out in front I'm shocked they didn't make them take it down

(6-18-20) You both like Politics.

Stranger: Hey

You: hi

Stranger: What's up

You: mhm sleepy mainly

You: you?

Stranger: Nice

Stranger: Just showered now I'm sitting here

You: mhm anything you care a lot about?

Stranger: Social issues

You: like?

Stranger: Hmm abortion, guns, religion, immigration

Stranger: Transgender people

You: okay

Stranger: You?

You: mhm I'm abstract

You: I'm kind of a hippie haha

Stranger: Oh haha

Stranger: I'm conservative

You: but I believe in being nice

You: that's fine

Stranger: Haha good

You: people have different beliefs

Stranger: That's fair

You: where are you from?

Stranger: US

You: one of the more liberal states or conservative?

Stranger: South East

Stranger: Conservative haha

You: oh it's late

Stranger: Oh yeah 2 am

You: I'm northeast haha

Stranger: Lol

You: what kind of things do you like the most?

Stranger: Like in general?

You: sure or big picture

Stranger: Food, guns, movies, video games

You: mhm guns for entertainment?

Stranger: Not sure what else

You: like shooting range?

Stranger: Yeah like that

You: mhm I've never been

Stranger: It's fun

Stranger: I'd like to go camping sometime

Stranger: I never have

You: really? you should

Stranger: Yeah I really should

You: does anyone in your family do much camping?

Stranger: Nah nobody

You: aww haha

Stranger: Haha

You: my family doesn't either, but I've gone a few times with friends

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: How old are you

You: 26 you?

Stranger: 20

You: mhm how is college this year?

Stranger: Well schools were totally shut down for a while haha

You: is yours opening in the fall?

Stranger: Yeah I'm pretty sure if nothing changes

You: I guess it's nice to go back

Stranger: You think we will go back into lockdown if the virus gets worse

You: idk, I think it's hard to say

Stranger: I don't think my state will

You: I think they might if the hospitals get overhwhelmed

You: otherwise I think many states will care more about the economy

You: even if there are infections

Stranger: Right bye grandma

Stranger: We gotta fix the economy

Stranger: Haha

You: it's hard to make value decisions...

Stranger: Yeah it really is

You: I guess that's politics in a sense

You: What do you think? family or economy lol?

Stranger: I have many older family members who the virus could easily mess up

Stranger: Or kill

You: right

Stranger: My grandmother is 89

You: mhm

You: so for you, you would prefer it if the lockdown stayed?

Stranger: Hmmm it's really hard to say

You: mhm

Stranger: Cause it really is wrecking the economy staying in lockdown

You: mhm

Stranger: But the risk is much higher now

You: yeah, I don't really envy the people who have to make that choice

Stranger: Pray and hope for the best basically haha

You: I guess that's for the best I guess

Stranger: Right

You: are you very religious?

Stranger: I wouldn't say very

Stranger: I don't go to church and I'm not going start now

You: ah, why not?

Stranger: But I do believe in God and all that

Stranger: Well you know the virus I meant during the virus time

You: oh yeah haha

Stranger: Sorry haha

You: sorry lol

Stranger: But maybe one day I will

You: for some reason I read that as you never went to church?

Stranger: Oh I never have I mean I've went like a long time ago

You: oh okay

Stranger: When I was still a kid basically

You: does your family still go or were they not so religious?

Stranger: They weren't so religious yeah

You: mhm kay

Stranger: They are religious but they just don't like church for whatever reason

Stranger: I guess mom has hangovers Sunday morning lmao

You: ohh

Stranger: I'm kidding but she does drink

You: yeah

You: although I can kind of vaguely relate to not wanting to go

You: I don't like to go to things in groups

Stranger: Well church at least down here has a lot of uppity bastards

You: I feel like a person's relationship with God is also a very personal thing

You: uppity?

Stranger: That treat church as like this thing like for connections

You: oh...

You: that's not cool

Stranger: Instead of going for religion

Stranger: Uppity like wealthy and snobby

You: ahh okay

Stranger: You know those types?

You: yeah, I feel very uncomfortable

You: my family also immigrated so there's a cultural difference for me too

Stranger: Where they come from

You: china ^^

Stranger: So you're Chinese?

You: yup, ethnically

Stranger: Cool

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: I'm white

You: there are not many asians on the east coast lol

Stranger: They are more west coast

Stranger: Haha

You: yep

You: I was like the only one in my high school

Stranger: Lol

You: yeah it can be awkward at times

Stranger: My highschool had no Chinese people

Stranger: We had like 1 Indian

Stranger: It was mostly just white people haha and some blacks

You: mhm

You: it's the same for us except not many blacks either

You: New England is very white

You: lol

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: We only have that big black population due to them staying after slavery

Stranger: Without the black people this place would be like all white

You: mhm

Stranger: Hmm how many gay people did it have?

You: up here?

Stranger: Yeah

You: we are pretty liberal so we had a couple

Stranger: We had like one gay one and one bisexual

Stranger: And maybe one trans but I don't know

You: mhm I think we had more lgbt people than that

You: how big was your high school?

Stranger: Pretty small compared to a typical high school

Stranger: I mean we only had 1 floor

Stranger: No upstairs

You: ahh that's pretty small

Stranger: You actually had to leave and go to the other high school in the county if you wanted certain classes

You: did you grow up in a rural area or something?

Stranger: Oh yeah lol it's all woods around the highschool

Stranger: And around my house

You: ahh kay

Stranger: Pretty cool I always thought

Stranger: But lonely too

You: yeah nature is nice

Stranger: Cause unless you go out of town there is really nothing to do for young people

You: right

You: were you always involved in politics?

Stranger: We have a movie theater that some old man owns and he plays new movies for like $5

Stranger: That's like it haha

You: oh those kind of small places are cool, at least I think so

You: I like small random bookstores and stuff

Stranger: I hope he isn't closed I mean I haven't checked

Stranger: I hope Coronavirus didn't kill his business

Stranger: Oh yeah we have lots of little random stores

You: mhm yeah...

Stranger: We have a little historical building downtown that uses to be the courthouse

Stranger: It has a Confederate soldier memorial and statue out in front I'm shocked they didn't make them take it down

You: is your local county/town/city more conservative or liberal would you say?

You: compared to your overall state?

Stranger: Very conservative socially

Stranger: Even the democrats are socially conservative they just are left money wise

You: mhm

Stranger: So thats probably why haha

You: yeah I guess that makes sense

Stranger: That was there when the building was a actual court house

Stranger: So a black guy going to court sees that lol

You: yeah I wonder what they would feel

Stranger: I broke the law in the wrong neighborhood

You: mhm I feel like it's a kind of scary thought

Stranger: Exactly it probably makes you think is the judge or jury racist

You: yeah

Stranger: The sheriff is like related to me

You: ohh really?

Stranger: Distant family

Stranger: Yeah

You: that's cool

You: is it like a small town family thing where all the families know each other?

Stranger: Lol yes everyone figures out everyone's business

You: oh lol

You: my town growing up had a significant catholic community, and they were really tightly knit

You: like some of the teachers, students, all went to same church

Stranger: Yeah it's pretty close knit here

Stranger: This place is weird

Stranger: It's like one county with three little small towns that are very close

Stranger: That almost overlap

You: huh

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: Isn't that great?

You: I mean it's interesting I guess

You: I wonder how things turned out that way

Stranger: Like you could drive 5 or 10 minutes and be in the other town

Stranger: And 15 to the other

You: I'm surprised that like with a school your size, you don't have something like a regional high school or something

Stranger: The biggest town in the county has a highschool

You: ahh

Stranger: And out in the boonies between the other two was mine

You: right

Stranger: Haha it's just interested

Stranger: Interesting

You: yeah it's interesting for me to hear

You: do you ever get new people moving into your town in stuff?

You: or is it pretty much always the same families?

Stranger: And if you shoot a gun in the yard the cops don't come haha

Stranger: I've had a neighbor do that

You: is your area mostly safe?

Stranger: Oh yeah

Stranger: My brother had a guy try to break in once

Stranger: But he scared him off

You: mhm

Stranger: Just the same families

Stranger: Rarely you'll get like a immigrant family coming

You: yeah we have a lot of moving up here

You: not necessarily immigrants, but people moving in and out of state

You: that kind of thing

Stranger: Oh I see

Stranger: You in a big city?

You: no, suburb, maybe like 45 minutes out?

Stranger: Oh I see

You: yeah, but I think a lot of people move here when they get a job somewhere

You: I guess they move out if they follow their career elsewhere

Stranger: We move out of town when we want a good job haha

You: oh lol haha

Stranger: Unless you do a store, cop job, or military

You: mhm

You: you have a military base nearby or something?

Stranger: We do have a small community college

Stranger: Oh yeah we have a national guard Armory

Stranger: You can be there I think

You: mhm

You: yeah it's cool to hear about the kind of place you grew up

You: and sort of think about how that affects politics on the bigger map

Stranger: Oh yeah lol

Stranger: That's a little about the south

You: a little about the south?

Stranger: Yeah my southern state

You: oh okay

Stranger: Haha

You: is the older generation in your area more conservative than the younger folk?

You: or not really?

Stranger: Oh definitely

You: hmm you sounded like you were pro-lgbt but not trans, if I'm guessing your position correctly?

Stranger: Yeah I don't like trans people

Stranger: But some gays are fine

You: only some? ^^

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: The ones that are normal people are fine

You: ah okay

Stranger: Like I don't like the really feminine ones or activist

Stranger: I'm bi

You: mhmm

You: okay that's cool

Stranger: Thanks

You: I'm surprised because I would have thought you would have been more supporting of other lgbt people

Stranger: Ohhh

Stranger: I guess it's my upbringing

You: you don't like the activists because... they stand out too much?

You: or...?

Stranger: Right

You: too liberal?

Stranger: I don't like the obviously gay guys

You: mhm

Stranger: And that too

You: are you out to your family?

Stranger: No

Stranger: Not yet

You: do you think you will some day?

Stranger: At some point maybe

You: mhm I get it

Stranger: But only if I'm with a guy

You: what about with your friends?

Stranger: Otherwise I'm not going to risk them having a bad reaction

You: yeah it makes sense

Stranger: I'll probably tell friends

You: mhm but you haven't?

Stranger: No just a online friend

You: aww that's sweet though ^^

You: I think it's good to be out to someone

Stranger: He's gay so he gets it

You: yeah

You: I'm happy for you

Stranger: He likes me but he lives very far off

You: aww yeah distance is a problem

Stranger: He's a British guy that wants to come move here haha

You: oh haha

You: I feel like that must mess with your timezones lol

Stranger: Lol hes conservative and likes Trump

Stranger: That's funny for a gay British person

You: yeah but hey, your sexuality doesn't define you

You: you can be conservative, liberal, whatever

Stranger: Yeah he's always sleeping when I get up

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: Or something like that

You: mhm do you like him?

Stranger: Oh yeah I do

Stranger: He's great

You: oh that's great ^^

Stranger: Haha you like hearing about this don't you

You: yeah I love hearing about this

You: it makes me smile haha

You: it's really sweet, seriously

Stranger: Maybe it is haha

You: mhm I'm happy for people when they find things for themselves

Stranger: Me too

Stranger: do you like someone?

You: yup

Stranger: Who?

Stranger: Guy or girl

You: mhm... I have a complicated situation

Stranger: Ohhh

You: oh? xD

Stranger: Are you a guy or girl?

You: well first of all, what do you think?

Stranger: I can't tell haha

You: lol

You: I guess that makes me happy

Stranger: Which are you?

You: mhm you can think of me as a guy I guess

Stranger: You trans?

You: I'm kind of have an androgynous perception of myself

Stranger: Ohhh

Stranger: I like to think of myself as masculine and all that

You: technically it's nonbinary, but most conservative people don't take that very seriously

Stranger: So you're non binary?

You: I'm not really that much of a labels person

Stranger: I don't know about that one

You: but yeah, if you want to put me in a group, that would be the most accurate description

Stranger: I know what it is but I don't know how that works

You: oh what I mean by "labels" is that I don't think the terms are important

Stranger: Oh I see

You: like bi vs pan vs whichever other term

Stranger: I don't like pan

Stranger: To me it's no different than bi

You: mhm

You: to me they're very close to interchangeable

You: but for some reason people have a preference for which term they like

Stranger: I see

Stranger: Bi makes more sense to me

You: mhm

Stranger: Bi means 2 and you like both sexes

You: yup

Stranger: Haha

Stranger: And do you like a guy or girl?

You: idk there's people who spend too much time thinking about this and come up with terms for a lot of things

You: uh, I lean towards liking guys, and a little bit less towards girls

Stranger: Ohhh

Stranger: You like a guy now?

You: nope I'm with a girl now

Stranger: Ohhh

Stranger: I gotcha

You: like if I were to give it numbers, like usually I'm more into guys like 80% of the time, and girls like 20%

Stranger: That's how I am

You: mhm awesome lol

Stranger: Lol

Stranger: It was great talking to you but I should go I think

You: okay, it was great talking!

Stranger: Goodnight

You: night

Stranger has disconnected.

#omegle #politics #southern #conservative #religion #coronavirus #transgender #lgbt #bisexual #pansexual #race #minority #confederate statues

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spaceorphan18 · 5 years ago

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Melody Time

And we’re back with anthologies again. Isn’t it interesting that I have a harder time sitting through a collection of short cartoons than full length animated features? Maybe cause my interest isn’t that high with these.

As we open up this time, we get a couple of theater masks singing about how its melody time. Oh geez, here we go....

Once Upon a Wintertime -

So, we start off with this short about a couple having a date (and their rabbit counterparts) in the winter, and they go on a carriage ride, and then skating and then OMG the ice is thin and it breaks up and then it’s a rapids and the rapids are going over a waterfall??!? OH NO!! It’s kinda comical at how quickly at how ridiculous the premise of this gets. But, you know what, it’s kind of charming in a way. The art is has an interesting style to it, and it’s sweet even if it’s nonsensical. And much more watchable than most of everything else that’s been in these anthologies.

My only gripe, which can hardly be called an actual gripe, is that I’m meh on the musical selection that accompanies the short. It’s more of that 40′s jazz-lite/easy listening stuff that I’m finding I really have no patience when listening to it.

Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that the girl in this one isn’t saved by her beau, but by all the woodland creatures working together to stop the ice from falling over the waterfall. For some reason it struck me as amusing.

Bumble Boogie -

This is essentially two minutes of a bumblebee flying around avoiding abstract musical instruments that have come to life, all to a jazzed version of Flight of the Bumblebee. It’s cute for what it is. Not a whole lot to say here, tbh.

The Legend of Johnny Appleseed -

This one, as you might have guessed, is about the American Folk Hero Johnny Appleseed, which I probably knew more about a kid than I do now. There’s no real plot, other than Johnny decides to leave the comfort of Pennsylvania and head out west (or Ohio, lol) and plant appleseeds because that’s what he does. And then he grows up and dies and legends are born. (Yup, he actually has a little death scene.)

I’m not entirely sure how to review this. It works for what it is. The animation is actually kind of nice, and it does what all folktales seem to do, romanticize a time in the recent-distant past. I get the feeling the mid-19th century was quaint in the way we think of the 40s now. History was all pioneers and proving yourself and doing a square dance with Native Americans. (They’re not badly portrayed btw, just in the background.)

It’s not a bad short by any means, but not anything that will stick with you after you’re done watching it.

Little Toot -

So, um, the Andrews Sisters sing about this little steamboat, called Little Toot, who as a young kid is kinda dumb and gets an Ocean Liner crashed into a major metropolis (because that’s possible). He’s shamed and outcasted, so he goes out on his own, grows up, saves another Ocean Liner and comes back older and better loved.

Between the amount of times they sing ‘little toot’, which makes it hard to take seriously, and the fact that this narrative feels like it’s pushing (the of the time accurate agenda of) grow up and be a man culture, I just can’t with it. It’s fine for a ‘of it’s time’ cartoon, but does not hold up well at all.

Trees-

This another one of those tone poem things. There’s a famous poem out there named Trees and is about, you’ve guessed it, trees! (Fun fact - my mother had us memorize this poem when we were kids for some reason. She was trying to teach us about poetry. Idk.)

Anyway - the animation here is lovely, even if it looks like it’s a deleted scene from Bambi. The music however. Gah. It’s terrible. This poem doesn’t lend itself to be lyrics very easily...just because it’s a poem doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a song. (Remind me some day to tell you guys the story about a girl I knew in college who tried to sing Tolkien’s poetry, omg...) I’m not sure how to describe it, it sounds like dirge written for a college choir or something. I get what you were going for, Disney, but this one just doesn’t work.

Blame It on the Samba -

Speaking of deleted scenes, this next short is probably left over animation from The Three Caballeros. Donald Duck and Jose Carioca are back, and this time dancing to samba music (though the piece is actually a polka played on an organ, so sure) and it’s more of the same weird, trippy mix of live action and animation that you find at the end of Three Caballeros. I honestly wish this wasn’t in here, because it doesn’t fit with the other shorts, and kind of disrupts the nicer animation of every other thing in this film.

Just because you can, Disney, doesn’t mean you should.

Pecos Bill -

And... it’s another folklore related one. Which, I found out after doing some research, isn’t really folklore. Apparently, some dude from Texas wanted folklore for Texas and made up a bunch of stories, and Pecos Bill was one of them.

Anyway, this one is terrible. The animation is bad, the ‘story’, which merely consists of throw away lines of some of the lore, is stupid, and it ends with a woman being bounced to the moon by her bustle. It’s also twenty minutes long, which is way too long for one of these to be of any interest.

Also - I should point out, it started off with a live-action intro with a bunch of ‘cowboys’ singing to that girl who was having a birthday party for herself last film. What is Disney’s fascination with this little girl?

Final Thoughts: While overall, I think most of this much better than any of the other anthology films, I think this concept just doesn’t work as a whole -- unless you’re really going to go all out with theme and purpose, and not just use up old animation you had nothing better to do. I get why these all happened, but bleh, I’m ready for the regular features.

#thoughts on disney

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for-a-home-that-once-was · 5 years ago

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Ah I love so many of those cute questions! And I know you like stuff to distract you, so how about you answer all of them? 😘 Can be in batches or all at once.

I hope you are talking about these questions c:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?I don’t eat cereal tbh

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?YES! I loove cold, especially when it’s all snowy around, then I feel so alive!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I have two bookmarks so I don’t use any other objects as bookmarks

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I take my tea with two spoons of sugar and sometimes with milk if it’s black tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh hell yea, I hate my smile most of the time

6: do you keep plants?Nope, I’m not much into keeping plans

7: do you name your plants?Nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?I used to write... Now i barely use any artistic stuff to express them :/

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Nope

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on back and on my both sides

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh, I had so many that are now dead because I don’t talk to them anymore. One of them was naming my bag after Janick (lol). That there is one where we call Richard Kruspe Diva, this is such an old inside joke that usually I’m not even saying his name, just saying Diva.

12: what’s your favorite planet?Saturn probably

13: what’s something that made you smile today?That Tobi post on facebook

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Oh it would be messy but with so many posters all around since we both love them

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Mercury is still shrinking

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Idk, I just love every kind of pasta

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I’d love to try black and maybe turquoise

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.Me talking only about Rammstein for 5 hours straight and my best friend had to listen to that and he did. I still say sorry every time we remember that

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I have my travel journal where I write about every trip I went to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green and brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.Oh that’s got to be my red backpack. She’s been to almost every trip I went to since probably 2016. She is old but she is the best one but soon it’s gonna be the time for her to retire

22: are you a morning person?Hell no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Sleep

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Maybe my best friend, I mean he already know probably every secret I had

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I haven’t broken into any place

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Maybe my New rock boots?? I mean idk

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Spearmint

28: sunrise or sunset?Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?She used to make necklaces and make it as a birthday gift. I still have two necklaces that she made for me as a gift and I still wear them and I still love them

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Oh yea

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Socks are cool and I love them, only that I usually forget to buy them and then I’m like “damn it, I’d love some nice socks to this outfit but I don’t have any..”

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.I think it was 2015 summer and I was totally drunk with my best friend, we were both fangirling/fanboying over Tobi and I remember he did something really hot and sexy - he poured some whiskey on my neck and licked it. Idk if he remembers that but my gods, I still can remember that and yea lol

33: what’s your fave pastry?Pies, cakes, buns of various kinds

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?It was a big pink sheep, I loved it so much because it was so cute and big and yea. I don’t think I named it. Idk, I hope my mother didn’t throw it away

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I don’t really use them, tho I have one for when I’m writing

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Danheim and Wardruna

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?Totally messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I really hate those fans who are like “I’m gonna die if I won’t be in a first row and I’ll do absolutely EVERYTHING to be there”. Yes, I get them and yes we all live being in a first row but man, those fans are so damn annoying. Like sure, I always try to be in a first row but I don’t bitch if I’m not

39: what color do you wear the most?Black, bit of red and blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?My Mjolnir necklace. Well my old one was missing and till this day I haven’t found it so I bought the one I have now and well, it’s my amulet so it means a lot to me

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?Good omens by Terry Pratchett‎ and ‎Neil Gaiman

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I don’t really have favorite one

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?This makes me sad because I never did that

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Last autumn when I was in Krakow

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I dunno

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I’m so bad and thinking of puns tbh

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Beetroot soup

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Darkness. Oh no, I loooove darkness now

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?YES, I love it. Last ones were the newest Rammstein album and Wardruna - Runaljod - Ragnarok

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?I don’t think I collect any odd things

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Sooner than now by Sin cos tan

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?I don’t think I have any???

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I’ve seen Beetlejuice and Pulp fiction and I love both of them

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?Me

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?Cry

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?The way they talk about something they are passionate about, the way they blush or try to be modest

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?I always have goosebumps when listening to it and yes I do sing along

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Group of friends? hahah, it’s so bold to assume that I have a group of friends..

59: what’s your favorite myth?I love the myth of Ragnarok

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?Nope, I don’t like it

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?Can’t remember in both cases tbh

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don’t drink juice in the morning

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?I try to keep them organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark but almost clear with few clouds

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?YES

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Maybe something like this

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I dunno, sometimes I love it sometimes I don’t

68: what’s winter like where you live?We used to have cool snowy winters

69: what are your favorite board games?Monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board?Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Black

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I guess, never thought about this much

73: what are some of your worst habits?Being lazy, kinda being hot head

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.Smart, pretty, tall, has a good heart, funny, serious, helpful, has their own strong opinion about a lot of things, stubborn

75: tell us about your pets!I don’t have any :/

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I dunno, maybe

77: pink or yellow lemonade?Neither

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Neither

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?My best friend giving me a nickname which happened to be the one I use a lot now

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?It’s creamy color, well I had a small voice of choosing them but I’m okay with them

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.Oh no, I suck at describing stuff like this

82: are/were you good in school?Noo, I was sooo bad in school

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?Yep, I have so many plans for them. I’m still planning on getting more band/lyric related tattoos, also Tolkien one and the one with wolf and triquetra

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I tried to get into reading them but I can’t buy any of them here and I hate reading them online

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?Yep, well basically all Avantasia albums lol

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?The Matrix, Kill Bill, Intouchables, Wild tales, The legend of 1900, Scent of a woman, Wag the dog

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Idk

89: are you close to your parents?Not really

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Krakow. The city that feels home to me, not only because it holds so much history of Lithuania but also because there is something about it that I just can’t describe... As my dad said it is a king city and it feels so, Krakow has a Wavel castle and so many other ancient buildings, maybe that’s why I love it so much. Even it seems that the life in it goes bit differently from any other cities, but from small Old town streets to Jewish district and to beautiful cemeteries everything makes me so happy there.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?I do plan to travel to Poland, then to Czech republic and then to Germany

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?Cheese, yes I love myself a lot of cheese on my pasta

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?I don’t have any other hairstyles other than the one I have in all my pictures

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My best friend

95: what are your plans for this weekend?Don’t have any

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?It depends on my mood

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?ENFP, libra and i have no idea of my hogwarts house and I don’t really care

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?Last autumn, yes, I love hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Far From Heaven by Battle beast Dancing With The Beast by Battle beast So Good It Hurts by Lord of the lost Harvest by NightwishRunaway train by Avantasia Hoffnung by Doro I Wish by Battle beast Traust by Heilung Serpentine by Pretty maids Ich weiß es nicht by Lindemann

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?Definitely past, because I have so many mistakes to fix and so many moments to relive

Thank you and sorry if my answers suck

#anon #answered

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oflgtfol · 6 years ago

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ok wait i was thinking abt this when i was watching kfp 3 the other night but i didnt have any energy to write it then so im gonna say it now cause ive been thinking abt it a lot actually

like the villains in kfp 1 and 2 are so good. they have clear motivations to their actions with something compelling about them.

for tai lung, i’d say he’s almost sympathetic. i don’t know what i’d do if i was literally raised with the idea that i was destined to be x, and all my life, literal decades, were spent working towards that “destiny,” only to be told that that wasn’t actually my destiny. to know that literally your entire life’s work has been in vain. now i know for sure i would not go rampage and destroy the entire village and potentially kill people over it (it’s never explicitly stated he killed anyone since it’s a kid’s movie, but like, the amount of security put into his prison? the sheer dread everyone felt upon hearing he escaped? the fact the entire town had to be evacuated when he was on his way there? i’m pretty sure it’s implied he killed people in his previous rampage). that part of tai lung is not sympathetic. but the motivations behind his actions are. i know i’d definitely be feeling very lost and uncertain and angry and, betrayed. tai lung is absolutely at fault for taking his anger out so violently on innocent people, but his anger was.... justified? i mean. shifu should NOT have literally raised him with the idea that he was destined to be the dragon warrior . that’s just setting your child up for failure and, at best, the feelings i described above.......... at worst, what tai lung actually did....... either way that’s gonna fuck your kid up mentally and it wasn’t right to do that. so tai lung is definitely an interesting villain with, sympathetic circumstances but not sympathetic/justified actions

i think shen is probably less interesting than tai lung in that regard but he makes up for it in different ways. i don’t think he’s sympathetic in any way tbh. at most there’s a bit of... inadequacy? that his parents didn’t love him? but his actions were absolutely abhorrent so honestly......... you deserve it LOL. but his actions WERE so completely abhorrent that he makes up for the lack of sympathy and moral ambiguity that’s fun to think about with just sheer Threat. he committed literal genocide for no other reason than to ensure he wouldn’t be taken down according to a prophecy. he is far deadlier than tai lung, plus his presence brings a lot of repressed memories out of po which is a really interesting way to paint shen as a threat. because po could absolutely just beat him up, but each time he’s near him he gets flashbacks and can never actually defeat shen until he works through his memories. shen isn’t interesting so much in motivations but he’s very interesting in terms of the themes the franchise explores, the danger he poses to the protagonist, and even his personality

but kai..... falls flat compared to the first two villains. after seeing kfp 3 several times i’m still unsure of why he’s doing anything he does? he learns how to use chi and then immediately starts killing people? to....... gain power? does he do everything just for power? and his backstory with oogway is kinda confusing like.... when was oogway in charge of an army???!?!! and he’s said to be oogway’s brother in arms which sounds like a very close relationship but we don’t ever really... get to see it besides like “oh haha see what im doing, oogway?” and then destroying oogway’s statue.

and nobody ever takes him seriously as a villain either. everybody’s like “kai who?” even the random farmers completely dropped their guard after being like “never heard of you” despite literally being scared shitless of him 2 seconds ago....... kai takes out every master in china within like a few days and it sounds like it could’ve been very threatening and ominous like knowing that the jade palace is Next.. knowing that he’s slowly but surely making his way to the pandas. but literally no one takes it seriously they just fuck around for a few days until tigress comes around and is like “we’re the last ones left.” and so all the pandas team up to fight kai in their own ways but even then... nobody’s taking it seriously? if he wins he’s gonna kill you all!! but they’re all laughing and having a good time during that fight like huh? IDK like yes po is very much one who always makes fun of his villains, his whole final battle with tai lung was like that and most of his time with shen was him making fun of him too. but the final battle with shen was SO serious and honestly i guess kfp3′s lighter tone is particularly jarring especially because kfp 2 was so serious, what with literal genocide, cannons (which literally killed master rhino early in the movie), repressed trauma, coming to terms with said trauma, etc. shen was SUCH a serious villain, and people took tai lung very seriously even if po didn’t at the end. literally NO ONE takes kai seriously and it’s kinda irksome especially when it’s added onto the fact he doesn’t have very strong motivations... idk. kai’s definitely the weakest villain

i mean this all in the best way... i love the kfp movies and part of it is cause they just get me thinking about a lot of things, whether it’s the themes or even just writing stuff like this. kfp 3 is still a very enjoyable movie this is just a criticism i had with it

i think even if they fleshed out his backstory with oogway better, maybe had kai tell it himself instead of from the characters reading oogway’s scroll, then he’d feel like a stronger villain. and maybe had the characters treat the situation with the proper stakes too. nothing wrong with jokes and light heartedness, i mean this is kung fu panda, even kfp 2 still had a lot of jokes and light hearted scenes, but if they were used at more appropriate times rather than directed at the villain almost entirely then it’d be better. and im only saying that because, when the villain doesnt have clearer motivations and the threat he poses is kind of abstract and shown mostly off screen, then it’s hard for the AUDIENCE to take him seriously between all that and the characters themselves mocking him/not taking him seriously every time he shows up. and compared to the serious villains in past movies it’s just like.................... oh . ok

#the only time tai lung was ever treated like a joke was at the very end . otherwise he was a very serious threat to the valley #and shen wasnt ever treated like a JOKE persay just that.. po would make a joke during a scene with shen #like the whole time they meet in the tower with the 'oh hey' and shen's '........hey' thats so funny #and po's like 'i dont even know who you are!!!' isnt taking him very seriously #BUT. then he has a flashback during that scene so even if po isnt taking him seriously.... shen's still a threat #but like po NEVER takes kai seriously except for that one scene where he realized he couldnt use the wuxi fingerhold on him #and po's face of absolute DESPAIR is so jarring considering just 2 minutes ago he was interrupting kai's monologue with #'UGH STOP WITH THE CHIT CHAT' and generally mocking him lol #but po's jokes fit in. considering how he dealt with tai lung #but the PANDAS. who are honestly fighting for their lives at this point? are all laughing adn shit which is really the main... -__- thing #LIKE. logically there are high stakes in this movie. but nobody acts like the stakes are high #and there are very few moments of real tension so . the audience never feels like the stakes are high either even if we know they are #delete soon

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markoftheasphodel · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on the Jagen Club (FEH-centric)

So I drafted this last year, when I started playing with “Depression Meals” and then “This Could Be Us,” then sat on it for about a year. The rundown on Gharnefs compiled by @airlock inspired me to finish this up and get it out because it ain’t doing me any good sitting in my drafts, is it? This basically just served as my initial round of impressions on how FE Heroes was treating my beloved class of “veteran horsey-type knights” aka Jagens and why the Heroes representation inspired me to write crack ‘fic and less cracky explorations of the gang.

So, here goes...

Jagen: Good Grandpa

Jagen rocks. No, seriously, I love this guy and I love what Heroes did with him visually and character-wise (unit-wise... well, none of these are top-tier units and we will leave it at that). See, one gets the feeling Jagen's had a really good life up to at least late middle age. He came from a small but prosperous kingdom where life was good, he served a worthy king, and basically he's got joie de vivre animating him even in his obvious old age.

(This is one reason I kind of view Jagen as the actual ideal knight in FE. If you're a young knight and you end up like him, good on you. You end up like some of these others, my condolences. Kids like Roderick and Silas should take note.)

He's not that complex-- just a good-hearted old warhorse stomping around to prove he can keep up with the colts. My favorite line is probably the one he uses for a bad level-up, though-- a bracing shot of self-contempt: “I have dishonored my rank and my country.”

Gunther: Bad Grandpa

He looks like Axe Jagen. Past middle age, thinks himself as a parent-figure to his liege Corrin, offers to chat over tea. But unlike Jagen, his kingdom's a mess, his life is shot through with tragedy (the scar on his face is, as usual, representative of more than skin damage), and Gunther lets it all hang out during one of his specials quotes: “I will have my revenge!” That and the line “My armor has known...so much blood” hints that there’s more to this guy than tea parties. So what’s the deal with Gunther? Uh... depends on which route(s) of Fates you played. Heroes doesn’t really pick a “side” as far as Gunther goes so IDK look up Revelation on a wiki I guess. It’s wild.

But the way he presents himself is quite engaging! Would have tea with, etc.

Titania: Team Mom

Confident and chatty Titania is the resident ray of sunshine among veteran horsey-riders. She’s happy to take up menial tasks because they gotta be done, but she’s definitely working for a cause on a level beyond “money talks” or even abstract honor. She’s into training, but for the stated reason that practice and being on top of one’s game keeps one alive, and Titania is very, very invested in everyone staying alive. Training isn’t a quirk so much as it is part of her overall practical and constructive approach to life and duty... though there are a couple of hints that Titania’s beginning to feel her age (she’s like, 30!).

And then we get her Valentine’s alt, Warm Knight Titania, who keeps the practical “money can’t buy happiness” approach to life but is very obviously all wrapped up in the feelings for her Commander that went unspoken during his lifetime... and the prospect of a second chance thanks to all these alternate timelines colliding.

Overall just as Jagen IMO represents a damn good representation of an ideal knight at the end of the road, Titania-- despite or perhaps because she quit being an actual knight-- is a beautiful integration of Duty and Training and Covert Romantic Feelings and Familial Affection without coming down too hard on any one element.

Frederick: Wacky Uncle

As a 3DS-era character there's not much surprising about Frederick for anyone who's played Awakening. Endearingly voiced by Kyle Hebert, Freddy adores his lord Chrom and hates disorder and bear meat. He’s got an alt, summoned from a beach vacation, who is obsessively cleaning up seashells and confessions to “sinning” by which he apparently means taking a break.

I admit to holding a subversive view of Frederick in that his zeal to be a great knight is undermined by all of his tics and quirks and that's part of why he and everyone else ended up dead in the original timeline-- and Heroes doesn't change my mind on that point. His fixation on clearing the garden weeds and rising early to pick up pebbles sound less like doing the menial tasks that somebody’s gotta do and more like make-work that Frederick does because something compels him to. Still, Frederick's rocking so much joie de vivre of his own that it's impossible to not like the guy. The man likes what he does, what can I say?

Still should’ve had “Pick a god and pray” in his arsenal of voiced lines somewhere.

Finn: Hot Mess #1

When Finn-- the only member of this crew whose home games never came out worldwide-- hit FEH I remember one Redditor snarking that they didn’t understand why other fans were so excited about another Frederick-style “lapdog” character. Finn indeed presents as the latest model number of “stoic and dutiful knight” on the surface... and then the trauma, debilitating melancholy, and lack of self-preservation leaks out line by line (and given two of these tell-tale lines are at 1* rarity, it’s meant to be obvious).

His identity is all wrapped up not just in some conception of being a knight but in his lance (a gift from his late lord Quan, of course)-- an object, a tool. He's at least two decades younger than Jagen (and Gunter), but whereas the old guys are determined to prove they've got life in them yet, Finn's past caring if he survives the next battle. Unlike Titania, he’s not fondly reminiscing about the happy little moments raising his adolescent liege Leif or his “daughter”/ ward Nanna. He’s not interested in pulling weeds or doing the laundry-- he’s anxious to know the layout of the castle in case it gets torched... when he’s not obsessively repairing that lance, that is. He’s got zero quotes on the value of training compared to least three indicating he's fine with ending up dead. So yeah, Finn’s basically Antimatter Titania. Meanwhile he’s voiced to sound about twenty years older than he looks, which seems to be deliberate for both NoJ and NoA.

Finn’s more like a cautionary tale to the Rodericks and Silases of the world-- sure, you can be this guy, but who’d want to be? He sure looks pretty in his attack art though...

Seth: Hot Mess #2

Ooh, boy. Seth has what's arguably the greatest storyline scene FEH has afforded a supporting character in all of Book I... possibly in all the mainline Heroes chapters. It evokes his rebuke to Ephraim in Eph's version of Ruled By Madness and it's awesome. But the Seth we get in Heroes is a very... intriguing... look at what's underneath the shiny surface of the Silver Knight. There’s some Training stuff, a sense the man has Opinions but is struggling to stay in his place, a reference to the wound he got from Valter and an admission he’s not fun to be around. And then it gets a bit weird.

“Do not trouble yourself over my well- being. I would play the pawn gladly, would it bring us victory.“

He isn't just unattached to his own survival the way Finn is, Seth is actively advising the Summoner to keep enough distance to make it easier for them to send Seth to die. Repeatedly. Maybe the pain of his half-healed wound is driving him mad, maybe he's afraid unspoken feelings for Eirika will turn him to the dark side, but Seth is kinda messed up. And whereas honestly every iffy thing about Finn was already there in the Jugdral games and their side materials, Seth’s FEH presentation came as a shock to me and I’ve seen it flat-out called “Out of Character” elsewhere. The hint of a playful side from his support chain with Natasha, for instance, is nowhere to be found here. It’s odd and kind of compelling and yet not terribly likable, in my opinion. Frederick needs to chill and Finn needs a hug (and probably some anti-depressants), but Seth... I dunno. He needs friends, maybe? Cormag when.

“I answer destiny's call!” is a damn good line, though.

Bonus Clive and Mathilda (The Lovebirds):

The Legendary Knight and her Idealistic boyfriend are not technically Jagens (that’s Mycen, subverting the archetype almost as soon as it was established), but they’re veteran cavalier/paladin types in their late 20s, likely of an age with Seth and Frederick at least and not many years younger than Titania and Finn. So, how do they measure up personality-wise?

Clive and Mathilda have the advantage that their Heroes incarnations hit at virtually the same time their FE15 selves did, so there's not as much revelatory about them. Same VAs (Grant George is fantastic), consistent designs, consistent personalities. Clive struggles a bit with his dilemmas from FE15 and has a hilarious line where he’s taking care of his own horse because the Order of Heroes apparently has no staff (for the record, he says he enjoys caring for the horse). Mathilda meanwhile has a couple of quotes about her love for Clive and quite a bit about her concerns regarding Clive’s sister Clair. They’re not very extreme personalities-- even Titania, well-rounded as she is, comes across as more extreme than Clive & Mathilda thanks to her open zeal for life. I’m not quite sure how they’d come across to someone who hadn’t played FE15, as the nature of Clive’s doubts in particular are merely hinted at here.

They’re good supporting characters but there’s a reason my Jagen-club stories don’t use them as focal points.

Not available: Mycen, Arran, Oifey, Marcus... after two damn years.

#fire emblem meta #all sorts of emblems #the jagen club #fire emblem ficcing #text post #long post

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twocubes · 6 years ago

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So, for some reason Im reading Graeber’s The Utopia of Rules and he’s talking about, like, how structural violence (well, more generally, power differentials) have a tendency to lead to situations where the subjugated are very much capable of imagining how the subjugators think (since they, yknow, have to), while the subjugators basically have no idea how the subjugated think (since they, yknow, have no need to (this also tends to result in situations where subjugators think of the subjugated as having some weird magical source of knowledge, see: magical n■■■oes, “women’s intuition”, mystical natives, magical omniscient gay best friends, the “out of the mouth of babes” trope, computers doing stuff “magically”...))

and his point is, eventually, how bureaucracies (in his view) exist to take these power-differential-induced imaginative lazinesses and just, spread them into an entire system; like, the bureaucracy is there ultimately because there is a... thing of systematic violence there and thus those with power aren’t really in a position where they would be capable of understanding how their subjects think and thus, bureaucracies are necessitated, since they operate very much in a context where you make essentially no assumptions about how the other people you’re interacting with actually think, I guess?

(and I guess if follows that my objection to his objection to bureaucracy is that, well, at sufficiently large scales, ignorance of how people think is kind of, inevitable. Like, you’re an anthropologist, David; you study this stuff. that means that it’s stuff that not everyone gets to know. Only using modes of organizing where everyone involved has enough information on everyone else involved to imagine how they think has some serious scalability issues that bureaucracy should theoretically be more capable of avoiding. clearly we need some kind of hybrid form or something...)

anyways this doesn’t matter; i wanted to... work out my thoughts on the following chunk that I found really interesting, where he talks about the history of the concept of “imagination”

One of the reasons it is difficult to see all this is because the word “imagination” can mean so many different things. In most modern definitions imagination is counterposed to reality; “imaginary” things are first and foremost things that aren’t really there. This can cause a great deal of confusion when we speak of imagination in the abstract, because it makes it seem like imagination has much more do with Spenser’s Faerie Queene than with a group of waitresses trying to figure out how to placate the couple at Table 7 before the boss shows up.

Still, this way of thinking about imagination is relatively new, and continues to coexist with much older ones. In the common Ancient and Medieval conception, for example, what we now call “the imagination” was not seen as opposed to reality per se, but as a kind of middle ground, a zone of passage connecting material reality and the rational soul. This was especially true for those who saw Reason as essentially an aspect of God, who felt that thought therefore partook in a divinity which in no way partook of—indeed, was absolutely alien to—material reality. (This became the dominant position in the Christian Middle Ages.) How, then, was it possible for the rational mind to receive sense impressions from nature?

The solution was to propose an intermediary substance, made out of the same material as the stars, the “pneuma,” a kind of circulatory system through which perceptions of the material world could pass, becoming emotionally charged in the process and mixing with all sorts of phantasms, before the rational mind could grasp their significance. Intentions and desires moved in the opposite direction, circulating through the imagination before they could be realized in the world. It’s only after Descartes, really, that the word “imaginary” came to mean, specifically, anything that is not real: imaginary creatures, imaginary places (Narnia, planets in faraway galaxies, the Kingdom of Prester John), imaginary friends. By this definition, a “political ontology of the imagination” could only be a contradiction in terms. The imagination cannot be the basis of reality. It is by definition that which we can think, but which has no reality.

I’ll refer to this latter as “the transcendent notion of the imagination” since it seems to take as its model novels or other works of fiction that create imaginary worlds that presumably remain the same no matter how many times one reads them. Imaginary creatures—elves or unicorns or TV cops—are not affected by the real world. They cannot be, since they don’t exist. In contrast, the kind of imagination I have been developing in this essay is much closer to the old, immanent, conception. Critically, it is in no sense static and free-floating, but entirely caught up in projects of action that aim to have real effects on the material world, and as such, always changing and adapting. This is equally true whether one is crafting a knife or a piece of jewelry, or trying to make sure one doesn’t hurt a friend’s feelings.

So,

Graeber here makes this weird shift in the first paragraph, where he starts out contrasting “imagination” and “reality” and then later just keeps jumping between that and contrasting “imagination” and “reason”, right?

Which is weird, because... well, imagination and reason aren’t really contradictory, at least to me. Maybe it’s just the... dealing with math all the time that makes it obvious, but, like, that’s what math is. Imagining weird concepts and then developing them in this purely rational manner. Think about, idk, any of the weird math concepts people love to use in fiction. higher-dimensional space? tesseracts? fractals I guess? I think those are pop...

The point is... I tend to think of reason as being twinned with intuition. Like, reason is there to take statementy structures and check “does this make sense?” while intuition is there to just come up with stuff out of nowhere, after being carefully trained on a large corpus of examples.

They operate together, yknow? Each needing the other to even really... make any kind of sense.

So, ok, if that’s what those are... what are imagination and reality?

I guess, in my head, the way it works is,

Imagination is this canvas in your head. You can draw on it freely, but its primary usage is that you dump everything that you know about reality onto it.

In other words I don’t make any... fundamental distinction between those bits of the imagination that represent real things and those that don’t.

Like, if I describe to you a 14-story tall concrete apartment tower completely surrounded by 2-story tall quaint buildings with tiled roofs and it’s an eyesore to everyone around it but from the inside the view is great, because there’s all these nice houses around it and it’s near a big lake and on the other side of that lake is a big mountain, if I tell you that description, does it change at all if I tell you that it’s the place I grew up in when I was in elementary school, before we got kicked out because our landlord got kicked out of their apartment? Does it move to a different location, where the real things are stored? No.

You don’t perceive reality directly, you dump it in your imagination, where you also dump stuff that’s only been described to you, and your best guesses as to how some things work, and the sound of my voice in your head as you’re reading this (if you’re still reading this) and the plot to whatever the last harry potter fanfic you read was and the crude erotic doodles of me you make when you’re bored and in that space, you reason about it. You check it for consistency, you... make hypotheses that could then be checked, and so on and so forth.

You make up stories (guesses) and sometimes they turn out to be true, and sometimes they were never intended to be true, they were just exercises.

In a sense, I understand the medieval perception of imagination as a sort of intermediate field between “reason” and “reality”; the problem is that it only works one way. Your perceptions get dumped in your imagination on the way in, but your actions, on your way out, are mediated more by, well, reflex, which is close enough to intuition to feel like sort of the same thing.

If we pretend briefly that “the soul” contains, yknow, reason, and thus necessarily in my system, also intuition, it probably also contains reflexes, and thus contains the exit back out to reality. We can imagine the soul in the middle of a fog (that is, the imagination, on which we act freely) which is itself between the soul and the entrance, where stuff comes from reality.

or something like that idk.

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technoskittles · 5 years ago

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Fanfic author asks

I didn’t get any asks regarding this but I still kinda wanna answer the questions anyway so here goes

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

I refuse to say what my first fic was and that should be answer enough to the second part

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

Most recent fic is Something Good Can Work

I think I’ve come pretty far from when I first started writing. I know there’s some things I could always be better at, but I’m way happier with the stuff I was writing 5 and 10 years ago.

WAY happier

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

Oh geez that’s kind of hard because there’s a few I’m pretty proud of.

If I had to name one, it’d probably be lost & different. It’s one of my longest oneshots to date and I ended up finishing it in 2 days so...go me.

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Shot in the Dark. Hands down.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Pure Feeling probably. I think it’s mostly because it’s kind of out of place for me (I don’t typically do fics involving kids so it’s a nice change of pace)

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

A lot of my older fics from when I wrote for Teen Titans and Soul Eater. Dark times man....dark times.

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Pure Feeling absolutely. And I actually do want to finish Fall From Eden, but I wanna rewrite it (I first published it about 4 years ago and not only do I want to fix some things plot-wise to incorporate more of canon into it, but there’s a lot I’m not happy with that I want to try and fix)

I also have a sequel lined up for Shot in the Dark.

But if I had to pick one, definitely Pure Feeling. I want to be able to actually finish a multichaptered fic for once and by dammit I’m gonna do it.

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

That would be Shot in the Dark. There were a lot of things I wanted to do with that AU and while I don’t think I’ll get to most of it, I do at least want to finish the sequel.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nope. I don’t write for things I don’t have an interest in and typically if I haven’t consumed it, I’m not interested

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

A couple, yeah. I wrote a fic for Jessica Jones (although, after I did I ended up reading a couple fics for it).

Also did a couple of fics in my early years of writing for some stuff that people probably know nothing about (but if you’re curious, Princess Ai and Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl)

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

I feel like it’s hard not to? Most concepts in general have typically been done before by someone. We don’t create in a vacuum.

But if I do a concept I know I’ve seen before, I typically always try to make it my own somehow. Because since it’s been done before, others have most likely seen it, so I want to show them how mine is different. I like to push the boundaries, combine different concepts together, and really create a piece that makes it unique enough to set myself apart.

I like using general concepts and deconstructing them before reconstructing them into something new that I like and want to share. And it’s always nice after I publish it and get feedback to see that people really enjoy the stuff I write.

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Oh plenty for sure. More often than not, I started writing it and got stuck and then a) took so long I lost interest or b) took so long that I forgot where I was going with it

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

If we’re talking about style, I think that’s a bit harder to pin down depending on what I write. But I’ve noticed that with particular oneshots I’ve become more abstract in my writing so that’s cool

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I used to read just about anything if it had my ship when I was younger, but as I grew older I became more and more picky. Some things can turn me off a fic completely.

I also have really grown to dislike fics that are WAY to cliche and tropey. I love tropes as much as the next person, but I feel like some people just don’t do enough with it to really make it interesting. The more cliche your fic is without much else brought to it, the easier it is for me to forget it.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

Nah. I don’t typically like writing things I’m not passionate about because it’s hard to hold my attention to finish it. If I write an idea, it’s because I wanted to, not because I figured it’d get me a lot of feedback.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Not really. Like I said before, if I don’t write for it, it probably means I’m not awfully interested anymore

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

If we’re talking about any fics, probably one of the ones I wrote for Teen Titans in my earlier days.

But if we’re talking more recent, Talking Body. Idk. I just don’t think that fic is as interesting as I thought it was at the time but it blew the fuck up regardless

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

Hybrid. I’m mostly upset because it didn’t get as much attention as the prequel before it considering that garnered a lot of attention but...c’est la vie

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Probably pillars. It’s probably one of the most interesting fics I’ve written in terms of formatting.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

Like I mentioned before, I do want to rewrite Fall From Eden. And yes, if and when I eventually get to that, I would be replacing all the chapters currently up.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Not typically. I appreciate the onslaught of feedback, trust me, but I prefer to parse through the fic lists of the ships of my choosing and read from there

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Not that I can remember. I’m sure it’s happened, I just can’t remember it haha

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Oh jeez that’s a tough one I can’t remember them all.

This is one that’s stuck out though

“ You really captured what post-traumatic self-destructive behaviors feel like while staying so true to their dynamic as well as getting the characterization right to the T despite the fact that the show itself is obviously much less grim (not that it's not angsty, just far from this.) Beautifully written, the repetition and the parallels really put it all together. This piece hit home. I'll remember this one. Thank you for writing it. Thank you for sharing. “

-from as my World d[ivides]

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’ve gotten plenty of mean reviews but most of those are from my earlier days of writing. I can’t remember any particular ones so I also couldn’t tell you if the reviewer intended it or not

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

I wouldn’t say it makes me feel bad, but I know one review I’ve seen a couple of times is when people tell me that my writing gets too prose-y. The main reason it rubs me the wrong way is because while I’m sure they’re trying to be helpful, prose is part of my style less than the logistics and structure.

My descriptions can be a bit much sometimes I guess, but more often than not, it’s there for a reason. Whether it helps set the mood, gives insight to the characters’s thoughts/motivations/feelings that really set the story, or because I want to immerse the reader in the best way possible by painting a picture.

So it’s just annoying when people tell me to tone it down because it’s too much for them. If you don’t like prose, then read something else.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

My characterization. 9 times out of 10, that’s the thing I get most anxious about, so when people tell me I nail it it always makes my goddamn day

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single-fandom. Not a huge fan of crossover fics

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Oof. That’s really tough because like I said, my interests change all the time. I typically jump from fandom to fandom and write for whatever I’m obsessed with at the time.

I guess if I had to pick though...RWBY probably.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I’d say it’s about even for what I’m interested at the time. Biggest discrepancy though would probably be....either Miraculous Ladybug or Fairy Tail.

I just don’t write much for those and read a lot so...

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

Sometimes. Not too often. Because usually I’m so hyperfocused on the new shiny thing that most of my ideas end up being for that

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I always worry that I do that for every character I write for haha.

I think my major concerns regarding that right now are Scorpia and Entrapta. For some reason I feel like they’re really difficult to write for.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

Yang probably. Maybe Adora

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

I don’t think so?

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I’d have to say as my World d[ivides] really surprised me. I really wasn’t sure how people would respond to that one given that it deals with a VERY sensitive subject and was positive I’d face a little bit of backlash. But honestly everyone actually really loved it and I got so much nice feedback from it.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

Not usually

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Nope

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Not that I’m aware of

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

I think that would probably be Sunflower. And if you’ve read that fic you know exactly what I mean.

If you haven’t read it, I won’t include spoilers, but I did explain myself at the end of it

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

I think I have a few loyal readers yeah (and I love all of them)

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

HA!

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

I used to crosspost when I first started on AO3 but after awhile I gave up bc I didn’t like ffnet’s set-up nearly as much. Sometimes I’ll post fics here on tumblr but I fucking HATE the formatting so...not much

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

6,156 views (that would be Shot in the Dark)

43. Your least popular?

173 views - Scared to Breathe

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

That’s really hard to say. I read a lot but I do have a few really popular stories so...

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

I think my specialty is angst. You can ask most of my friends.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

I try to be. But I do think I lean towards certain areas

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Errrr...probably not? I tell people that I write fics, but I always get nervous when it comes to the thought of them actually reading them. It feels too personal somehow. Like, that’s a part of me I don’t usually let people see.

The only person who has is my boyfriend. And even then I get nervous when he does it

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Yeah like I said, I’ve told some people. And they area typically interested in the original content, but I don’t know how involved they are in fanfiction or fandom itself

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

My boyfriend

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

I would like to say it has. I’ve been writing for about 10 years now and it’s really opened up a lot of doors for me. I’ve met some really great people through fic and fandom. I’ve also grown as a writer after being at it for so long which has, strangely enough, helped me regarding essays and papers for school.

Writing is kind of just what I do now. It’s one of my only contributions to fandom, so it’s nice to know I can take part somehow in generating content.

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